MFM Minisode 301

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The minisode.

[3] Hey, it's Minnie, and we read you your stories.

[4] You guys send them to us, and we appreciate it so much.

[5] Thanks so much.

[6] Do you want to start today?

[7] Hey, sure.

[8] Why not?

[9] Hey.

[10] Hey, man. This one's called Coincidence Story.

[11] Lighthearted question mark?

[12] Okay.

[13] Hi.

[14] Okay, so nine years ago, I moved away from my hometown to go to college and never returned for the normal small town boring reasons.

[15] So I now live nowhere near family.

[16] acquaintances, you get the picture.

[17] I have become a semi -regular at a small local bar, spending time there after work as a casual place to watch sports games and, well, have afternoon beers.

[18] Amen.

[19] I mean, one of the great joys of life is an afternoon beer, especially when you're on break from work and then you figure out a way to not go back to work.

[20] That's right.

[21] It always, it always comes to you when you're having that second beer you weren't going to have is how do I get out of the rest of my day?

[22] And here's your answer that I'll give you as a little gift from me to you.

[23] You call and you say, I broke my shoes, I have to give it.

[24] You glue that tongue to the roof of your mouth and you start explaining they won't want to listen to it because it's, and also they kind of won't believe you because everyone knows when you're lying in reality.

[25] I don't know if I love broken tooth better or drunk Karen better.

[26] There's so many options.

[27] She's pretty great.

[28] She contains multitudes.

[29] What about drunk, broken tooth, Karen?

[30] Oh.

[31] Very real.

[32] Okay, someday.

[33] I had made friends with my usual bartender.

[34] We'll call him Joe.

[35] One day, I overheard Joe talking to another customer saying where he went to high school.

[36] I heard him say he went to the high school in my hometown, and I nearly spit out my drink.

[37] I've been here nine years in the city, and I have never heard anyone say they were from my hometown.

[38] Of course, I had to ask him about this when they came back over to my end of the bar.

[39] I told him where I was from, and we had the, oh, shit.

[40] No way moment.

[41] So the bartenders from her small town.

[42] He goes, wait, what's your last name again?

[43] It doesn't sound familiar.

[44] I said he wouldn't know my last name as it's different from the one I grew up with.

[45] So I said, but the name you might know is insert childhood last name.

[46] His face went pale and he said, do you know Josh?

[47] Yes, I know Josh.

[48] He's my older brother.

[49] Now, for some backstory, my oldest brother Josh died at 23 years old in a car accident back in 2005, nearly 17 years ago now.

[50] Joe said, my brother's Chris.

[51] Do you know him?

[52] Chris was Josh's best friend growing up, and he came on our family vacations.

[53] Of course I knew Chris.

[54] I hadn't seen him since before Josh passed away, but I certainly remember him from my childhood.

[55] So the bartender looks at me and says, Chris is my brother.

[56] Joe and I had been sharing this little bar, minding our business for months, and little did we know the connection we shared.

[57] But here's the best part.

[58] He pulled up a picture of Chris, and she said, shows me that he has my brother's face tattooed on his arm.

[59] His brother does or he does?

[60] He does.

[61] I welled up with tears.

[62] I hadn't seen him in so long.

[63] This encounter was so special to me because it showed me that I wasn't the only one who still remembers him.

[64] It's been so long since he passed, the chances of me meeting someone who knew him are so slim, especially being so far away from home.

[65] We exchanged stories all evening.

[66] He told me ones I had never heard, showed me pictures of him I had never seen.

[67] I feel like I have a piece of him still there now through his friends and their family who have done so much to keep his memory alive over the years.

[68] This is the craziest coincidence I've ever experienced and probably ever will.

[69] Anyways, thanks for listening and thanks for doing everything that you do.

[70] You all absolutely rock.

[71] Stay sexy and check your bartenders for tattoos of your relatives die.

[72] So it was the bartender who had the tattoo of her brother.

[73] Not the brother.

[74] who was the best friend, but the bartender himself.

[75] How crazy is that?

[76] That is, it's so touching.

[77] Imagine.

[78] It's like someone that's as close as your older brother that dies.

[79] And that is really true that like when that amount of time passes, it's like you don't see them.

[80] You don't.

[81] It's not the same grieving situation.

[82] And so it's almost like, oh, if he's out of my mind, is he out of everyone's mind?

[83] Right.

[84] Like I'm never going to hear a new story.

[85] again.

[86] Maybe I'll see a photo somewhere in the future, but I'll never really like have new, new memories of my loved one again.

[87] And then suddenly, boom, you get to share them with someone else.

[88] It's so special.

[89] And the other person loved your brother as much as you did.

[90] So it's not like, oh, I knew him.

[91] He was in a class.

[92] He was really nice.

[93] It's like, here's stories of shit we all did together.

[94] Oh, that gets me. Yeah.

[95] He meant so much to me. I got a tattoo of his face.

[96] It is really beautiful.

[97] That's amazing.

[98] Also, I really, I wanted them to fall in love.

[99] Maybe they are.

[100] We don't know.

[101] We don't know if it, you know, those afternoon beers, die goes back, time and again.

[102] The sharing escalates.

[103] There's a heart match.

[104] It's a heart match.

[105] Yeah.

[106] That's what's so beautiful about life is there's like future, there's time in the future to fall in love.

[107] So great about being alive.

[108] So, yeah.

[109] Starting out sappy, sorry.

[110] Yeah, you did.

[111] I like it.

[112] It's a nice kickoff.

[113] Mine, too.

[114] Listen to the shit.

[115] Hello, MFM crew.

[116] I was listening to Minnesota 294, where you asked for great pranks, and I have one for you.

[117] As fellow younger sisters, you too can understand the need to prank your older sister.

[118] So here we go.

[119] When I was maybe 11 or so, my sister was 13 and got permission from my dad, single parent of two girls, how lucky, to have a big sleepover where she got to invite five other girls to spend the night.

[120] Being the younger sister, I of course wanted to hang out with them and bask in their older coolness.

[121] But when they started playing party games on the witchy side, like light as a feather, et cetera, they rudely kicked me out.

[122] You're too little.

[123] Get out.

[124] You're going to have nightmares.

[125] Yep.

[126] We have to talk about an important and stuff.

[127] That's when my older cousins, who were way older than me, they were like teenagers when I was six years old.

[128] And our other non -related cousin, Laura, would come down from Windsor.

[129] And they would kick me and my sister out.

[130] And they would say, oh, we have to have a witch's meeting.

[131] No way.

[132] It's a theme.

[133] It's an older sister, older cousin of the theme.

[134] Not cool.

[135] It's basically like you can't handle magic or like witchcraft.

[136] So get out until you learn witchcraft is essentially.

[137] Which will be.

[138] never so go fuck yourself and which craft kind of stood for a smoking pot i think anyway they so rudely kicked me out how dare they i went to my room to sulk for a bit but realized i could just listen at the door and see what was going on yeah this is this is the making of a little sister right here eventually they got to ghost stories and my sister had a favorite one that she would always tell me involving a porcelain doll and spiders that lived in said doll wanting props for the story she pulled out a bag of porcelain dolls to show off how we had creepy dolls.

[139] And then in parentheses, they weren't creepy, just broken and in my room.

[140] Anyways, that's when I knew I could prank them.

[141] When they all got up to retrieve drinks, food, and more cake from the kitchen, I snuck into a room and sat every porcelain doll that was laying on the floor up and looking directly at the door, and then I ran out before anyone noticed.

[142] Oh, that's clever.

[143] Mass panic was the only thing that happened next when six girls screamed about the haunted dolls, four out of five of her friends calling their parents to come get them.

[144] My sister remained scared of those dolls for as long as I could remember, and eventually I forgot about it until last year when I mentioned the prank at my birthday dinner.

[145] I am now 25.

[146] And the look of shock came over her face as she realized it was me. I know you asked for victimless pranks, but does convincing six girls that haunted dolls existed and probably traumatize them count.

[147] Stay sexy and remember that younger sisters want to play spooky games too.

[148] Karen from Texas.

[149] See, when we said victimless, that's what we met.

[150] Because like, it's victimless.

[151] It's just scared the ever -loving shit out of some little girls.

[152] Yeah.

[153] Yeah, exactly.

[154] There's, yeah, it's victimless in terms of like, we're haunted doll trauma is pretty standard.

[155] Right.

[156] No one, no one actually fell down and broke their jaw bone or something.

[157] Right.

[158] We want emotion.

[159] trauma, not physical trauma.

[160] That's all.

[161] Especially when it comes to sisters.

[162] We want sister trauma stories always and forever.

[163] We have so many.

[164] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[165] Absolutely.

[166] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[167] Exactly.

[168] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[169] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[170] That's right.

[171] Shopify is.

[172] the sound of selling everywhere.

[173] Online, in store, on social media, and beyond.

[174] Give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[175] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[176] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[177] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[178] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[179] Connect with customers in line.

[180] and online, do retail right with Shopify.

[181] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[182] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[183] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[184] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[185] Goodbye.

[186] I'm not going to read you the title of this one.

[187] It just starts, hey.

[188] Which is funny.

[189] My first one started, hi.

[190] And this one starts, hey.

[191] On Minnesota 295, you asked for deathbed confessions.

[192] which gives me a reason to write to you about my badass great -aunt Molly.

[193] In the 1930s, Molly went to university to study languages, pretty rat at the time, if you ask me. And then during World War II, worked as a translator at Bletchley Park as part of the English intelligence work in which Alan Turing eventually broke the Enigma Code.

[194] Anyways, on to her confession.

[195] In her youth, she, quote, courted a man for a while, and they eventually became just friends and didn't marry.

[196] After that, she had no further relationships that we knew about.

[197] On her deathbed, she confessed to my aunt that both he and she were gay, and had had a relationship to cover this up.

[198] She didn't talk about any other relationships, but I really hope she had some amazing lesbian love affairs.

[199] It makes me sad that she wasn't able to tell us earlier in her life, but I hope she found support in her friend.

[200] Thanks for everything you do, N. I'm sorry, was she saying she dated Ellen Turing?

[201] No, no, no. Oh, no. No, just that she had a friend and they were both.

[202] gay that she quote dated it all it seems like they were a cover up for each other and on her deathbed she finally confessed that she was a lesbian but okay got it because that Alan Turing was yeah yeah and that was a whole fucking issue he basically invented why in the internet yeah no not him so sad that that has to happen but it is like a deathbed confession I mean yeah so sad but and also just such a great reminder of like they We cannot allow any government body to turn back those rights that were so hard fought, so hard, or so hard won.

[203] It just cannot happen.

[204] It's not the, it's, there were people that used to be arrested for getting caught, like same -sex, people getting caught kissing or something, be in jail.

[205] Totally.

[206] It's so insane.

[207] So it shouldn't be a deathbed confession.

[208] It's so fucking sad.

[209] Yes.

[210] For sure.

[211] The title gives us away, so I'll just start it.

[212] Hello, ladies, gents, and assorted pets.

[213] Let's get to it.

[214] You asked for librarian stories, which I am not.

[215] But for about a year, I worked as a bookseller for a certain well -known bookstore chain, which seems relatively close to a librarian.

[216] So one day, I was right, I love it.

[217] It's like, please make it your own.

[218] One day I arrived to my closing shift and was informed by my manager that closing the store would be a little different than normal.

[219] Rather than going through our normal nightly routine of restocking books, cleaning, and processing orders for the next day, we were all immediately to search all the nooks and crannies of the building and ensure everything was in place as it should be and that there was no one trying to hang out in the building after clothes.

[220] I thought this was odd, but we had some odd regulars, like the guy who wore an all -black trench coat and carried a seven -foot -tall staff with a skull carved into the top who would come in once a week to buy new DVDs and books.

[221] That's not odd.

[222] No. That's a wizard.

[223] At closing, we logger.

[224] doors per usual and searched the store as directed.

[225] Nothing was out of place and we didn't find any people trying to stay in the store after clothes, so we wrapped up our nightly duties and we went home.

[226] The next day I mentioned to one of my coworkers who hadn't worked the night before about the weird clothes the night prior, and they informed me nonchalant, as can be, that it was probably because of the armed robbery at our sister's store earlier in the week.

[227] A few days before my weird closing shift, our sister store, just a few miles away, had been robbed after close.

[228] The armed robber had hidden somewhere in the store, waited till close, and for all the employees to leave, except for the closing manager, and then made the manager empty the safe of its contents before walking right out the doors, no problem.

[229] The manager was thankfully unharmed.

[230] There were concerns that the culprit would come to nearby stores and attempt the same thing.

[231] I was concerned that the best solution management had was to send the staff searching for a hidden armed robber at the end of the shift, especially without warning about what we were really looking for.

[232] Thankfully, no other stores were robbed.

[233] I have no clue if they ever caught the robber, but our sister store was shut down shortly after due to the pandemic.

[234] Working as a bookseller, excluding this experience was really fun and a great college job overall.

[235] It's also where I was introduced to the podcast at the very first shift I ever worked.

[236] They were having an MFM night to celebrate your book launch.

[237] I'm so thankful for your podcast in the community it created, stay sexy, and support your local bookstore, Roxy.

[238] Aw.

[239] Love that.

[240] I mean, yeah.

[241] Hey, guys, go out into the bookstore and try to and play fucking peek -a -boo with an armed robber, would you?

[242] You're in college.

[243] You can handle this.

[244] Play hide and seek with someone who is armed, please.

[245] Go ahead.

[246] You're not old enough to drink in a bar, but you should definitely be the security staff.

[247] Right, absolutely.

[248] Oh, you go.

[249] Okay.

[250] This is called a superhero funeral lighthearted.

[251] Hello, all.

[252] Several years ago, when I was in high school, I would always volunteer to run the music program at my church's vacation Bible school.

[253] Throughout the week, I would teach the students' songs that went along with our theme, which happened to be superheroes.

[254] On the last day of our week -long program, my students would put on a concert for their parents.

[255] About 30 minutes before parents were supposed to arrive, a hearse pulls up, and a coffin was brought in.

[256] The pastor double -booked the sanctuary for our music performance and a viewing for an old church.

[257] church member who died of natural causes.

[258] Oh, no. We were like, um, what?

[259] And said we would try to be fast and get all the kids on their way as to not interfere with the service.

[260] How about the fucking funeral doesn't interfere with the children, too?

[261] We would just have to take down our very elaborate superhero decorations.

[262] The family of the deceased who helped move in the coffin then pleaded with me to leave the decor up.

[263] They said they couldn't think of a more fitting set up for this funeral and that he would be happy to know his church was full and happy.

[264] I agreed and then cried in the bathroom because it was also moving.

[265] Love you all, Morgan.

[266] That is really beautiful.

[267] Yeah.

[268] I love that.

[269] And basically it's it speaks volumes of that person who died where it's like, no, no, they like life.

[270] They like how life just serves some shit up to you and you roll with it.

[271] Yeah.

[272] Also like having superhero decorations at your funeral, a really great signifier, what kind of person you are.

[273] It's like, grandpa was Superman.

[274] Grandpa was whoever.

[275] The Flash.

[276] It was Stan Lee's funeral.

[277] Okay, here's my last one.

[278] I won't read you the subject line.

[279] It just says, good day.

[280] I am a 50 -something southern grandmother.

[281] Just think Steele Magnolias.

[282] And I know not your usual demographic for a murderino.

[283] That's not true.

[284] We got them.

[285] We got all kinds of OG.

[286] Oh, G, true crime fans, long before a podcast exists.

[287] Okay.

[288] A little backstory, my husband and I worked for the same mom and pop company.

[289] He was a VP, and I was in public relations.

[290] When my husband got upset and quit, I was informed that I was no longer needed at the company.

[291] Add to that, my middle daughter graduated from college, and we were three grown -ass adults, all living at home looking for jobs.

[292] Recipe for a disaster.

[293] Now, my husband who spent the bulk of our marriage working 18.

[294] hour days and leaving me to care for the house and kids, decided to start, quote -unquote, giving me pointers on how to do stuff better around the house.

[295] Fast forward to my first job interview in over 20 years.

[296] I'm sitting in a room with two men around their mid -30s.

[297] When I get the dreaded question, why should we hire you for the job?

[298] My reply was to smile and say, you should hire me so one day you don't see a news alert that reads, woman hits husband over the head with a frying pan after he tells her she's loading the dishwasher wrong and kills him.

[299] Yes.

[300] Y 'all, I don't know why that came out of my mouth or how I recovered from that little nugget, but I didn't get two miles down the road before the HR woman called me laughing, asking when I could start.

[301] Yes.

[302] Yes.

[303] So I will leave you with Stay Sexy and maybe not a good idea to threaten murder in a job interview, Amy.

[304] Sounds like it's a great idea.

[305] It sounds like it's exactly the refreshing upstart disruptor attitude that they needed.

[306] Yeah, man, you got to hire the 50 -somethings because they're the reliable ones that have been going to work day after day, their whole fucking lives, and you can count on them.

[307] Yeah, and they'll warn you before they kill someone.

[308] Like a 50 -year -old woman will be like, hey, look, I'm going to tell you this one time.

[309] Yeah.

[310] Enough with the dishwasher tips.

[311] Oh, I felt that one a little bit.

[312] a little bit deep in my soul.

[313] I will not say why, but I did.

[314] Thanks for writing in and please write in.

[315] If you've never written in, write in.

[316] If you have written in, do it again.

[317] Love to hear from the people who think that they're not the average listener.

[318] We'd love to hear from you if you think you're out of the demographic.

[319] Oh, yeah.

[320] We need to hear your input, please.

[321] Definitely.

[322] Also, stay sexy.

[323] And don't get murdered.

[324] Go -bye.

[325] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[326] This has been an exactly right production.

[327] Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Pryton.

[328] Our producer is Alejandro Keck.

[329] This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[330] Our researchers are Marin McClashon and Gemma Harris.

[331] Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[332] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[333] Goodbye.

[334] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like.

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[337] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase my favorite murder merch.