Marshawn Lynch

[0] What's up with it, just Marshawn Lynch.

[1] And I feel blessed to be Conan, your friend.

[2] I thought for a second you were going to stop at Conan and that you were going to say, I feel blessed to be Conan.

[3] And I thought, shit, you are so high right now.

[4] That's a fact, bud.

[5] That's a fact.

[6] Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brandy shoes, Walk and lose, climb the fence, books and heads, I can go let me, thank you, thank you very much.

[7] Thank you very much.

[8] This is lovely.

[9] You're a very lovely group of people.

[10] This is really nice.

[11] Welcome to my upscale airport lounge.

[12] I hope you like it in here.

[13] You know, I've never been in this space before.

[14] This is a very special episode of Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[15] Who's here is familiar with our podcast?

[16] Do you guys know what it?

[17] Okay, I see one person not clapping.

[18] Clearly doesn't know why you're here.

[19] All right, you'll be ejected soon.

[20] But let me explain what's happening.

[21] We're doing a very special episode of Conan O 'Brien needs a friend, and we're doing it at this serious radio complex, which is by far one of the nicest places I've ever been in my...

[22] This is insane.

[23] This is not how I usually record a podcast.

[24] We record our podcasts in an abandoned Italian restaurant.

[25] down by the airport.

[26] And by the way, I'm just gonna point out to the people at home that there's only about 20 people here in our audience and they're masked.

[27] So just imagine how big these laughs would be if these people weren't masked.

[28] And it was a regular audience of like 300 or 400 people or my normal audience of like 600 ,000, okay?

[29] But it's so nice to have you here.

[30] Thank you very much for being here and we're gonna have a lovely time here on the program.

[31] I'm blown away.

[32] Blay, have you seen anything like this before?

[33] This is great.

[34] No, it looks amazing.

[35] I kind of feel like we're in like a cell phone kiosk with a bunch of people brand they do.

[36] It's incredible.

[37] It is that you, I don't know if you're mic'd or anything if people can hear you, but it is like a cell phone kiosk.

[38] It is absolutely gorgeous in here.

[39] And guess what?

[40] There's a working bathroom.

[41] I've never had that in almost my entire career.

[42] I don't know if you realize, I am not treated well in my professional life.

[43] I am treated very, very badly.

[44] And then suddenly I get invited to this serious thing.

[45] And I'm like, this is incredible.

[46] This is fantastic, very nice.

[47] Beautiful, and there's also a lot of people watching out behind this glass.

[48] Yeah, I find this creepy.

[49] I don't like this part.

[50] This feels very strange.

[51] I feel like they know that I have some disease and they're watching me. Like they put us all in here because we were exposed.

[52] There was a Martian meteor and there was a spore and now they're all watching us going, yes, yes.

[53] It's a weird glass wall, but there's a lot to adjust to.

[54] And we will adjust to it.

[55] We have a wonderful show.

[56] this is a Super Bowl show because my fans are huge Super Bowl fans no they really are they really are this is a big and this is a Super Bowl show that we are dropped it's going to drop the day after the Super Bowl that's right right but we're recording it just before right I'm going to let that spill right now which means we don't know what happened but we kind of have to act like we do know what happened that's right man was at some game Huh?

[57] Who knew?

[58] Wow.

[59] Seven overtimes.

[60] I didn't even think that was possible.

[61] So much blood.

[62] Yeah, and then they all had hockey sticks at the end.

[63] That was weird.

[64] I don't understand what happened, but you all saw it, we all watched it together.

[65] Let me do something right now.

[66] Let me bring out my trusty assistant.

[67] Sonam obsessedian who's going to join me. Let's get Sona out here.

[68] Sonar, are you coming?

[69] Hey, it's Sona.

[70] Never touch me again.

[71] I don't have a little.

[72] microphone, so I'm just going to sit here and talk into this one.

[73] No, I'm going to sit down.

[74] I just wanted to stand for the audience to show them how tall I am.

[75] You don't need that one.

[76] I like two microphones at all times.

[77] I'm now holding a handheld microphone and using a microphone that's on a stand.

[78] I would like a third mic, please.

[79] Is it possible?

[80] Can we get a third mic in here?

[81] Thank you very much.

[82] And I only need seven more microphones because that's how I do it.

[83] That's why we have one of the biggest podcast is we use just more microphones.

[84] The content crap.

[85] Yeah.

[86] Oh, yeah.

[87] This show is garbage.

[88] That's a lot, Sona.

[89] That's great.

[90] Now, Sona, you are, first of all, congratulations to Sona who had twins several months ago.

[91] And then, because she's not a super great mom, she decided to be here today.

[92] Yeah.

[93] I just left them there.

[94] Who's taking care of them?

[95] I am not sure, actually.

[96] I just left the house with my husband in there, and then I was like, good luck.

[97] Yeah, yeah.

[98] He's a pretty, he uses a lot of duct tape to keep them in the place.

[99] No, she has these wonderful twin boys, Mikey and Chuck.

[100] Charlie.

[101] Yeah.

[102] And I came over to the house just to try and make them laugh.

[103] I really got Mikey laughing.

[104] Yeah.

[105] Charlie stared at me. Didn't get it.

[106] You bring this up so often.

[107] Because when I don't, when there's someone I can't get laughing, I was going crazy.

[108] And it was time for me to go.

[109] And they had to go to bed.

[110] It was like 11 o 'clock at night.

[111] Yeah.

[112] And I was like, no, give the little baby some coffee.

[113] I'm going to crack this.

[114] Yeah.

[115] I'm going to get this baby laughing.

[116] You even say, like, I think they were five months old when you met them.

[117] And every time you talk to someone, you're like, Charlie, he's a tough one.

[118] Yeah.

[119] And he's an infant.

[120] Right, right.

[121] He doesn't, his brain has not formed.

[122] He doesn't have a laugh center yet.

[123] No. He will soon.

[124] My father never got his.

[125] But that's neither here nor there.

[126] And again, for you listening people at home, think of how hard these laughs would be if they weren't masked and if it wasn't just 20 people.

[127] This is killing with this room.

[128] Wow, this is bothering you so much.

[129] No, no. There's so many things that...

[130] I haven't been in front of a crowd in a while and this is a great crowd and they are really laughing, but they're wearing most of them because of COVID restrictions are wearing beekeeper outfits.

[131] So you can't hear them through the heavy, heavy masking.

[132] Yeah.

[133] Also, there's no mic near them, so they're even further away.

[134] And I think that they're just barely be hurt.

[135] Oh, no, no. First of all, let's hope they're miced.

[136] If they're not, I'm going to make sure that they add tons of laughs in a way that's completely inappropriate.

[137] I'm going to have them I'm not going to have them take laughs, cheers from a 1968 soccer championship in London and then add that to the show.

[138] With the chanting and the songs and everything, too?

[139] Yeah, yeah, a lot of that, a lot of that.

[140] People aren't going to understand why is someone with a British accent, and why is occasionally someone yelling Olai?

[141] It's very obvious how little you know about sports right now.

[142] A little about sports.

[143] Let me tell you something, okay, and this is, I have a bone to pick with Los Angeles and Los Angeles, I love you.

[144] You've been my home now for 11 years or 12 years.

[145] 13.

[146] It feels like 11.

[147] Anyway, you know, sure.

[148] L .A. is fantastic.

[149] I really shouldn't be here because of my complete lack of skin protection.

[150] I am the whitest person on television, and now the whitest person on radio.

[151] But I, so I really shouldn't be here.

[152] And you've seen the way I dress when I walk around L .A. Yeah, you're covered completely.

[153] You have one of those hats that cover your back.

[154] and then you're wearing like long sleeve SPF shirts and it's like a hundred degrees outside.

[155] Then after I do all that, I get into a sleeping bag.

[156] And I sit in a shopping cart and I have an, my sona pushes me around.

[157] That's how protected I am from the sun.

[158] But I have a bit of an issue with L .A. Because you drive around L .A. And we're here because this is a Super Bowl show.

[159] Yeah.

[160] This really is a Super Bowl show.

[161] And it's a Super Bowl themed and very excited about our guests today who will give us great insights.

[162] But one of the things that I have known, noticed living in Los Angeles, is that L .A., Los Angeles Rams are in the Super Bowl.

[163] Yeah.

[164] You wouldn't know it to drive around L .A. Am I right?

[165] You drive around L .A. and you don't see any signage.

[166] I don't see anyone wearing a Rams hat because that's just the way L .A. is.

[167] I'm serious.

[168] I've been driving around a lot.

[169] I saw one city bus that went, it just had one of those electric signs and it said, stops frequently.

[170] And then the next message that came up was, go, Ram?

[171] There was a question mark?

[172] Yeah, it was a question mark.

[173] Go Rams?

[174] I mean, they weren't even sure.

[175] I didn't grow up in a town like this.

[176] I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts.

[177] And in Boston, Massachusetts, you have to wear your Red Sox cap when the Red Sox are playing.

[178] You have to wear your Patriots cap when the Patriots are playing.

[179] You have to wear a Bruins jersey when the Bruins are playing.

[180] You have to wear a Celtics jersey when the Celtics are playing.

[181] And people take it really seriously.

[182] True story.

[183] My father went out.

[184] to get groceries a couple of years ago when the Patriots were in the Super Bowl and he forgot to put on his Patriots cap two years in prison he spent two years in prison for that they pulled him over he didn't have his hat two years yeah unbelievable that's the intensity of what is happening in that's crazy it's crazy no I like this where people are like yeah it's cool we're in the Super Bowl nice job guys oh I bet you right now and I think this crowd agrees with me If I went around to L .A. and randomly asked people, are you excited about the Rams?

[185] Yeah.

[186] Two -thirds of them would spray mace in my face.

[187] And they would say I was attacked by a woman in a corduroy jacket, a tall orange -haired woman.

[188] They wouldn't know what was going on.

[189] I almost forgot the Rams came back.

[190] I remember they were here.

[191] And then somebody said, oh, the Rams are in the Super Bowl.

[192] I was like, oh.

[193] You know what's really sad when you have a football team that leaves and no one notices?

[194] It's like someone who leaves a party and then wanders back later on and go, I bet you did you go?

[195] Oh, I feel terrible.

[196] I mean.

[197] But that's what happened.

[198] The Rams left now they're back.

[199] But, you know, are you excited about it?

[200] Is anyone in your family excited about it?

[201] People in my family are.

[202] I'm not, you know, I'm not going to lie.

[203] I don't know why we're in the Super Bowl thing.

[204] I don't think of Conan O 'Brien when I think of the Super Bowl.

[205] And I certainly have no idea what's going on.

[206] Well, first of all, first of all, You don't know anything about football, and this is a true story.

[207] Oh, because you know a lot.

[208] Absolutely true story.

[209] Sona walked in to do the podcast today, okay?

[210] This is about 45 minutes ago, and this is absolutely true.

[211] Okay, my dad didn't do two years in prison for not working.

[212] What?

[213] You got me there.

[214] But Sona walked in 45 minutes ago and learned for the first time that Tom Brady had retired from football.

[215] That is actually very true.

[216] You didn't know.

[217] I had heard they were like, they were like, oh, he might retire.

[218] And I was like, Okay, and then I just found out that he had announced.

[219] When did that happen?

[220] You found out Obama was president during his second term.

[221] That was, you were always and crazily misinformed.

[222] He had two terms?

[223] Yeah, he had two terms.

[224] Wow, okay.

[225] Maybe a little less of the edible, a little more of the read the newspaper.

[226] I'm going to read a newspaper.

[227] Well, online, I know it's not cool to have paper.

[228] But anywho, you know, this is to contrast it, Cincinnati.

[229] Yeah.

[230] Okay, the Bengals.

[231] Cincinnati is giving kids the day off from school, the day after the Super Bowl, on Monday, everyone in Cincinnati has the day off.

[232] This has been declared like everyone knows school, regardless if they win or lose.

[233] What?

[234] Why?

[235] And in LA, you could, no, no one even knows.

[236] In Cincinnati, they're shutting everything down.

[237] They're gonna empty the hospitals.

[238] They're gonna have bulldozers destroy.

[239] the library, so no one can use them on Monday.

[240] Everything's going to be completely shut down.

[241] They're not going to put fluoride in the water.

[242] Everything's being shut down on that day.

[243] It's just going to be all the, just lawlessness, craziness, madmacks beyond Thunderdome.

[244] It's going to be nuts.

[245] All right.

[246] That's how seriously they're taking it.

[247] And then, of course, here we are in L .A., but I feel the excitement in this room.

[248] Now, that might be because I'm here and I'm hot.

[249] But, what?

[250] That's not something you laugh at.

[251] I can't tell.

[252] I don't know.

[253] Eliminate the laughs there.

[254] That's terrible.

[255] Yeah, no, everyone laughed really hard at what you just said.

[256] That was one of our, the better laugh.

[257] Yeah, it was.

[258] It was a big one.

[259] You know, instead of just a, I should have, I think I should have had appreciative nods for that.

[260] You think that you would have been like, hey, I'm so hot.

[261] And everyone would have been like, oh, yes, well, yes, you know.

[262] And some guys, too, like, sure, yeah.

[263] Yeah.

[264] You know, if his eyes were so beaty and he had some lips, I'd jump him.

[265] We've wasted enough time.

[266] Did we?

[267] And I think it's time.

[268] I think I got out some of my feelings, which are powerful feelings about the Super Bowl.

[269] Okay.

[270] Well, you got everybody in L .A., you attacked everyone here, so I can't wait for this to come out.

[271] Oh, yeah, right.

[272] Yeah, okay, okay.

[273] First of all, like I said, I'm only offending hardcore Rams fans, and there's six of them, as we know.

[274] Two of them are stuck in the Librea Tar Pits right now, trying to get out.

[275] So good, good, good luck.

[276] Oh, I'm so scared that the four surviving Rams fans will find me. I am very excited about our guest.

[277] My guest today is a former running back who played in the NFL for 12 seasons.

[278] He was selected to the Pro Bowl five times, won a Super Bowl with the Seattle Seahawks in 2014, and has beaten me at video games many, many times in Super Bowl, clueless gamers.

[279] Now he is expanding his Beast Mode brand with a marketing agency, Beast Mode Marketing.

[280] I am really thrilled.

[281] He is a fantastic man, a great, just a great person.

[282] I'm excited to chat with him today.

[283] Marshawn Lynch, let's get him out here.

[284] How are you doing, Marshawn?

[285] How are you?

[286] Shit, I'm all right.

[287] Big Dog, what's going on?

[288] You're the only guy that calls me Big Dog since my mom.

[289] Bro, you're tall as shit, bro.

[290] What's happening?

[291] Well, you come in and you called me Big Dog, which I love.

[292] Man, you're tall as shit.

[293] First thing I got to say to you is I walked in, that's my assistant sona.

[294] Sona?

[295] Yeah, that's Sona right there.

[296] How are you?

[297] Good, are you?

[298] I'm smooth.

[299] Do you have any more of whatever you are feeling right now?

[300] I do.

[301] I do.

[302] You know, Sona loves edibles.

[303] Loves them.

[304] Edibles?

[305] Yeah.

[306] Loves edibles, but she hasn't been able to have any because she had twins.

[307] Okay.

[308] And she's breastfeeding and the kids will, like, be floating on the ceiling.

[309] So, yeah.

[310] Yeah, they might be feeling like me. You can't have that, not just yet.

[311] Marshawn, you're going to come around.

[312] You're going to wake up.

[313] but one thing I want to say to you is first of all I saw you, you're one of my favorite people you know that I really do every time we've done anything together and shot anything people love it because you are hilariously funny you've just got this great aura you really are you're just a you're a naturally very funny person and then you proved it because you did this show Murderville with Will Arnette and you killed that thing I got to do an episode you did an episode and you were a hilarious improviser because that show is all improv.

[314] Yeah.

[315] Was that fun to do you?

[316] It was.

[317] And you just jumped into it and Will would throw all these situations at you and you just went with it.

[318] Yeah, man. Shit, most of the time just say go and then next day I know he, okay, well, where he go?

[319] And I'm stuck in a situation by myself like, oh, okay, well, fuck it, what's up?

[320] That's a great approach to comedy.

[321] By the way, many people have put half that much effort into it.

[322] but you know I'm really amazed that you did that and I know that a lot of people say improv must be scary you know improv must be kind of scary to do especially on a TV show and I was thinking Marshawn Lynch has had been in a Super Bowl he's been in so many situations where there are 11 guys trying to kill you physically kill you improv is not going to scare Marshawn Lynch is that how it feels to you A little bit, something like that Yeah, you have these giant guys in your life You spent 12 years people trying to destroy your body It was probably longer than that How many years total?

[323] I mean you had college into that And then four more years of high school So we're probably looking at maybe 20 plus years 20 plus years of playing one of the hardest sports And also I want to point out to people Marshawn was a euro You played four sports very well You were a quadruple threat You didn't just play football Right Right?

[324] You played baseball?

[325] Basketball.

[326] Okay, basketball, and then...

[327] Swimming?

[328] Swimming.

[329] And ran track.

[330] And you ran track.

[331] And you also did some wrestling.

[332] Yeah.

[333] I ran, and for two years I played women's field hockey.

[334] Get the fuck out of you.

[335] And no one figured it out.

[336] And then they were like, wait a minute, she's terrible.

[337] She's the worst one on the team, and then the secret was out.

[338] Oh, God.

[339] What are you talking about?

[340] I looked good in that skirt.

[341] I did.

[342] I look good.

[343] You never believe anything I'm telling you.

[344] No, I don't.

[345] Especially not that shit.

[346] Okay.

[347] Some things you throw out there, I'll let it fly.

[348] That one, I'm not letting fly.

[349] I'm not gonna that shit down.

[350] All right, you're just gonna take care of that.

[351] Harshon, you said something to me a couple of years ago, and it intrigued me. You said, Conan, if you came to Oakland and I showed you around, you'd have street cred.

[352] You'd get a hood pass.

[353] I'd get a hood pass.

[354] You'd get a hood pass.

[355] You'd get a hood pass.

[356] Let's talk about that for a little bit.

[357] You get a hood pass.

[358] Do you really think I'd get a hood pass?

[359] I know you would.

[360] I told you the hood fuck with coming in on God.

[361] They fuck with you, bro.

[362] See, look, you got the crowd responding.

[363] The people have spoken.

[364] The people have spoken.

[365] For this group, that was huge.

[366] A lot of people think I'm kind of a silly person, you know, and kind of a, well, a little bit of a fool.

[367] You really think if you showed me around the neighborhood and you gave me a hood pass, people would respect me?

[368] Yeah, man. Take it to the high schools, the restaurants.

[369] You feel me, the dice games.

[370] You feel me, the trap, smoke spots, dope spots, all the shit.

[371] And you would do that for me. You would take me in all those places.

[372] Okay, what if I was dressed in a way that was, like, wearing super short shorts?

[373] Then we got a spot for you on E1 -4.

[374] I mean, you get to put in there what you're on.

[375] You're laughing like you know what that is.

[376] I have no idea what that is, but I'm laughing because I don't want to feel left -out.

[377] No, I don't know.

[378] let's just let's just say you might make a couple dollars listen I'm interested I think Sony gets it now look I'll make money anyway I can make money I'm not above doing what I have to do to make some coin by the way that's where you really fell in love with sports right you were playing in the streets of Oakland facts facts were you playing football in the streets Yeah.

[379] I mean, we played it all.

[380] Football, basketball, baseball.

[381] Anything that you could do to stay active, we probably did.

[382] Right.

[383] Doorbell ditch.

[384] I didn't think about that.

[385] About what?

[386] Doorbell ditch.

[387] Oh, yeah.

[388] You ring the door and you run away.

[389] As fast as you can.

[390] Yeah, I never got the second part right.

[391] No. I would ring the bell and then I would forget to run away.

[392] Everyone else would.

[393] And they'd answer the door.

[394] Yeah.

[395] And say, what do you want?

[396] It'd say, ha, ha.

[397] doorbell ditch and they'd say you're still here shithead then they would beat you senseless they would beat me senselessly yeah yeah yeah I got beat a lot in my day are you are you worried about losing your street cred if you take them yeah what happens to your I mean I feel like that here's a question right now if I had a street credit monitor right now you came out your street cred monitor would read like 10 ,000 when it's supposed to only go to 100 for March on Lynch it would go up to 10, but as you talk to me It's plummeting, Marshaun.

[398] It is plummeting.

[399] That's what's happening.

[400] No, I don't think that.

[401] That ain't accurate.

[402] You don't think that's accurate?

[403] That's not accurate.

[404] Okay.

[405] Do you think I'm boosting your street credd anyway?

[406] Yeah, because then I could probably go to Malibu or something.

[407] Let me show you my Malibu.

[408] Ain't going to fuck with.

[409] I'm going to show you my Malibu's most morning.

[410] Yeah, I'm going to take you to go.

[411] And we're going to get you.

[412] I'm gonna get some moisturizer.

[413] I'm gonna take you to a Lulu Lemon and we're gonna get, yeah, we're gonna get some good stuff there.

[414] I'm gonna fix you up and then you're gonna be all set.

[415] That's what's gonna happen.

[416] Hey, let me ask you a question.

[417] I've known you a long time, so when I saw you out in the hallway, I came up, I gave you a big hug.

[418] And then I started to show you how strong I was, right?

[419] I started to shake you around a little bit, didn't I?

[420] Yeah, there was some, I saw a little bit fear in your eyes like this guy's a top top notch athlete was am I reading into that why are you just giggling I want to see what's that one of the one of the biggest and the strongest me right you got to finish those sentences because people need to understand Conan O 'Brien is not what you think I'm a big strong guy who probably would have had a pretty good career in the NFL right yeah man I would have threw you at it tight end or D in no no I'm so sorry I didn't mean to just jump No, no, no, you don't think so?

[421] No, I think the question is, Marchan, if he played football, how long would he be in the game before he had to be rushed to the hospital?

[422] Come on.

[423] I think something would happen to me in the locker room before the game.

[424] Before it even started?

[425] Yeah, yeah, before the game even started, I'd get hurt trying to get water out of the water fountain.

[426] I'd ship two teeth, I'd start shrieking, and they would helivac me out of there.

[427] No, no, no. Yeah, totally.

[428] I think I would fall apart.

[429] I doubt that.

[430] Nah, man, you look like, if anything, I think your hair would have carried you all the way through.

[431] Yes.

[432] I've been the first player who didn't wear a helmet because I got to say, I have taken a lot of hits in my day and this hair, and it's quite impressive in person, you can tell by the way the audience is responding to it, that it is, it absorbs.

[433] It absorbs energy better than any football helmet.

[434] So I take hits all the time.

[435] I don't even feel it.

[436] Is this hair?

[437] Yeah, that's a fact.

[438] Well, I wish I had one of them hair.

[439] If I fall, I bounce right back up again.

[440] What hits do you take in comedy?

[441] I don't understand.

[442] Trust me. Comedy is a rougher thing than you can imagine someone.

[443] Okay?

[444] Sometimes the sarcasm gets pretty intense and a guy can get hurt.

[445] Got to protect yourself, bro.

[446] Yeah.

[447] Thank you.

[448] I got to ask you, and this is a Super Bowl related question because I keep forgetting the Super Bowl is happening because everyone in L .A. Do you get that vibe here?

[449] They don't get as intense about it.

[450] It depends on what time you be you go outside.

[451] Yeah.

[452] What time are you outside?

[453] I try to avoid the sun at all costs.

[454] So I come out at six in the morning, I look around, and then I cover myself up with some leaves.

[455] With some leaves.

[456] I don't know, but if you live in the vamp life, then, L .A. showing out for the Super Bowl.

[457] Yeah.

[458] Because last night, it was a movie.

[459] Last night was intense.

[460] Yeah, it was a movie last night.

[461] Yeah.

[462] Well, what did you see?

[463] Did you see?

[464] The other thing I've noticed is that some celebrities are loyal.

[465] to the Rams and have been since the Rams showed up.

[466] But then I get suspicious of these celebrities that suddenly show up when they're in the Super Bowl.

[467] You know?

[468] Now, I don't want to name names.

[469] You got some bandwagon fans.

[470] What's that?

[471] Well, suddenly, that's the thing I'm thinking about is when suddenly they're cutting away, because I've been following the last couple of Rams games, and I see more and more celebrities each time, you know?

[472] And then suddenly you're like, oh, it's the cast of selling sunsets on the sideline.

[473] You're like, what are they doing here?

[474] No, no, you're excited to see them.

[475] Don't act like you're like, what are they doing here?

[476] You're like, oh, my God, it's Crischel.

[477] There's Criselle.

[478] I hope she's going, I hope the breakup went okay.

[479] She's got a new house she wants to sell.

[480] But that's when I get a little suspicious, you know.

[481] Who's that?

[482] Yeah, exactly, who's that?

[483] Yeah, you know, Criselle from selling Sunset.

[484] I got to show you my L .A. That's what I got to show you, yeah.

[485] Oh, yeah, you got to take me to your hood.

[486] Let me see your good.

[487] See how you fucking know.

[488] But let me ask you something.

[489] If you've played the game, NFL player at your level, do you watch the game?

[490] Is it different for you to watch the game than it is for an average fan?

[491] How does someone who's been there watch the game?

[492] I mean, realistically, it just probably depend on what type of level of intoxication.

[493] Okay.

[494] By the way, this is an intervention.

[495] This is enough.

[496] These people here, they're not here to see the podcast.

[497] We all love you and we're here for you.

[498] and we want the old Marshawn back.

[499] Oh, wait a minute.

[500] This is the old Marshawn.

[501] Yeah, man, just older.

[502] That's how I go.

[503] But do you watch, when you, are you watching it and watching, like, I wouldn't have done that or I would have done that differently or...

[504] I mean, when I'm watching a game, I just probably having fun, so...

[505] Right, because you could get really wrapped up in it and think, no one else, you and a very few other people know what it's like to be in that situation.

[506] And you probably know when someone gets hit, man, that one hurt.

[507] Hell yeah, most definitely.

[508] And it's usually the ones you don't see.

[509] But I don't know.

[510] When you get them piles, that's usually the ones that really fuck you up.

[511] Because then you got to think you got maybe a thousand pounds worth of people on top of you.

[512] And then, you know, depending on how strong and what they're really doing, that adds another couple pounds and punches and eye gouges.

[513] So that is happening when, because that's another thing.

[514] This is, I'm just fascinated you hear about this.

[515] But when you were at the bottom of that pile.

[516] And man, you were on the, you know, when they finally could catch you, there'd be 30 guys on top of you.

[517] And sometimes they just start to build a house on top of that.

[518] Like, you know, let's build a 7 -Eleven here while we're at it.

[519] And you're at the bottom, what are they doing to?

[520] Are they really punching you and stuff?

[521] I mean, there's a lot of shit going on down there.

[522] Are people saying stuff?

[523] A lot of talk, shit, talking all kind of shit be going on in there.

[524] There's like a whole, like a little community down there.

[525] It's all type of shit going on, man, man, man. That's fascinating to me. I think I even bust a couple knocks down at the bottom of the pile of color time, but you know, it's just all kind of shit that got on.

[526] And people were talking to each other and saying stuff?

[527] Yeah, like, what's up, bro?

[528] What we doing after the, you feel me?

[529] After the situation, that we're getting out?

[530] Oh, yeah, I'll meet you over there.

[531] I like that big pile, the refs are trying to separate you guys.

[532] But while you're in there, you're talking about like, you know, I found a really good sleepy time tea.

[533] I found one that.

[534] I found one that just knocks me out.

[535] It's really good.

[536] Yeah, AKA Hennessy, if that's what you call your sleep in time, too.

[537] Hey, we're going to go get some shots after this?

[538] Yeah, bro.

[539] But get your ass off me, motherfucker.

[540] And then, I mean, you know, a lot of them, you know, a lot of us be having close relationships, too.

[541] So, hey, tell your cousin when I come back in town, I'm going to holl at him, you feel me. Hey, make sure the kids know I said, what's up.

[542] Tell moms, I said, what's good, bro, you feel me?

[543] All right, I'm going to highlight you in a minute, boy.

[544] She's, oh, she at the game.

[545] She's going to be in the back.

[546] All right, I'm gonna pull up.

[547] This is all happening while you're piled on top of each other.

[548] That's fantastic.

[549] You ever hear one guy say to another guy?

[550] I've always loved you.

[551] Kings, no. No, okay.

[552] Nah, that don't.

[553] No, that's.

[554] Hey, let me ask you about Beast Mode because you've got this term that you've now turned into a powerful, you've got this company.

[555] And it is something that you, this term that you came up with when you would go into beast mode it was like a superpower and it really was like when you would go into beast mode and I used to think can you control when you go into beast mode or is it like the Hulk where it happens you can't, it's happening now and I can't stop it.

[556] You know?

[557] What's that?

[558] I said it didn't shit get fucked up yeah.

[559] You got me thinking like I'm goddamn superhero.

[560] You are!

[561] I mean first of all I look at your highlight I've never seen anyone play like you the way that you would just, you were unstoppable, unstoppable, and people would agree you had gone into some other gear that other human beings don't have.

[562] What I think it is, more so, I just think it's my mindset more than anything, and yeah, I can control that, I believe.

[563] I mean, well, now I can't, but, you know, probably early on.

[564] Why can't you control it now?

[565] If you saw, like, a bank robbery happening, you couldn't say, Beast Mode, activate!

[566] And then just break that shit up?

[567] Hell no. Watch their ass from a distance.

[568] Somebody getting paid to stop them.

[569] That ain't, that's not my thought.

[570] I got a lane and I stay in that, my friend.

[571] Stopping bank robbers is not my job.

[572] I don't do that.

[573] Right.

[574] Good, good.

[575] Okay.

[576] All right.

[577] Well, I just, I didn't know how much control you had over it in real life.

[578] Like, you know, someone comes, you know, someone says, like, my wife always brings me the jar to open it because she can't open it.

[579] She can't open the mayonnaise jar.

[580] You could just be like, beast mode, you know, and probably not even touch it.

[581] Just look at it.

[582] Yeah, give it that look.

[583] And that motherfucker pop open.

[584] I wish I had that much control over it.

[585] I mean, you know, maybe in my next phase.

[586] But as of right now, I still got to pop that motherfucker open.

[587] But, no, I think it's more so just my mindset in the way that I, you know, prepared and shit, don't want to be stopped at that point in time.

[588] It's more so just like, shit, we're going to headbutt all day because I like that shit.

[589] Do you miss that?

[590] No. It's so tough on the body, but do you miss it at all?

[591] No. Big dog, that shit hurt.

[592] That shit hurt.

[593] Do you hurt for the whole week afterwards, practically, right?

[594] Oh, man, you know what?

[595] To be honest with you, it'll be probably until that following Saturday, Sunday, is when the body start feeling ready again.

[596] But all during that week, the whole week is just preparation to get your body back to feeling normal.

[597] So that's what, five, six days, just maintenance on your body to make sure that you're right to go and get into, what they call it, another car accident.

[598] Asked one of the trainers like, hey, man, you know, because they say, oh, each hit is considered a car crash.

[599] So I'd ask them, how many car crashes you think I would get into every game?

[600] See, on the average, maybe from seven to nine.

[601] Jesus.

[602] And I'm like, what kind of car crashes is these?

[603] You know, it's like little fender bender or there's some shit them broke off.

[604] It bought some shit them broke off.

[605] I'm like, damn, I didn't survive.

[606] A hell of car crashes.

[607] I was excited about that shit.

[608] But, I mean, you think about it.

[609] You think about what your body went through all those years, and you're right.

[610] The forces on your body are like a car crash, and it's happening multiple times.

[611] You think about how many games you play in a year, how many years you did it.

[612] How do you feel now?

[613] Like, does your body feel like it's healed itself?

[614] Do you have, sometimes do you feel something go like, oh, man, that's just never going to feel good again, that knee or that hip?

[615] No, well, what it is is I still practice, you know, and taking care of my body.

[616] But, I mean, it's not as extensive as it was when I was playing.

[617] But, you know, I still try to do little things to maintain it.

[618] So I don't get to that point.

[619] But hell yeah, I wake up sometimes like, God.

[620] damn what the fuck is this and then I can remember like oh shit I remember I got hit back in shit 2011 I wake up feeling that way but I have no reason to feel that way I mean I did not play in the NFL for all those years do you know what I did nothing close to what he's been through yeah there's no reason for you to feel that way but you shit you just had twins mama yeah I did that was a lot too how many car accidents is dead Yeah.

[621] That's right.

[622] She had twins.

[623] I mean, talk about respect.

[624] You had, just a little mama, too.

[625] She had twins.

[626] Thank you.

[627] Yeah, and I told her, you better be at work the next day too.

[628] He made me come into work.

[629] I don't like, you know, I need some time off, not on my company, yeah.

[630] Oh, wait a minute, that's illegal.

[631] Forget that.

[632] Not on my dime.

[633] No, no, no, she's, but that, I mean, you think about that.

[634] I think about, My wife had two kids, and I just think about, I mean, yes, we talk about athletes getting hit like this all the time.

[635] I feel like what women do to bring us into the world.

[636] I know, huh?

[637] It's insane.

[638] And you did it twice, all that one wife.

[639] God damn, girl.

[640] Thank you.

[641] Yeah.

[642] Thank you so much.

[643] That's tough.

[644] That's tough.

[645] That's what you did is tough.

[646] Yeah, that was.

[647] Marsha, you look like you're contemplating what a woman goes through in childbirth for the first time ever.

[648] It's really hitting you.

[649] You're like, wow.

[650] Imagine that.

[651] I never looked at it as a comparison to, you feel me, car accident, playing football, going to smash my head into a motherfucker and then just pushing out two babies from that little place.

[652] So really, of the three of us, I'm the only one here that hasn't done shit.

[653] No, yeah, yeah.

[654] But you got hair, though.

[655] That's really behind that.

[656] But you got the hair, though.

[657] That's true.

[658] The true.

[659] The hair.

[660] No, that hair takes an incredible amount of being.

[661] Don't try to make him feel better.

[662] No, I'm just saying, though, because it's been a long time.

[663] Like, I used to see this show like, damn, who the fuck is this big ass tall, big head and their hair thing?

[664] So I always, you feel me?

[665] And then I got an opportunity.

[666] I forgot which Super Bowl it was.

[667] Yeah, we played video games together in a clueless gamer segment, and you were hilarious.

[668] People loved it.

[669] And you got to meet me for the first time and see that, yeah, that hair is real.

[670] I said.

[671] I had no idea that he was.

[672] that goddamn tall with that big ass orange thing on his ear and I thought it was just like not real but it was actually real so he did like this thing I shook my head around you thought it was going to come you thought it was going to come flying off like a wig but then it go right back in place you tell me I haven't been through shit look at this and that's her look the motherfucker go right back in place so I was I was thrown off And then, you feel me, when I was, while we was up there kicking and talking shit, I'm like, damn, this, he actually really raw as fuck with this shit.

[673] And I was like, damn.

[674] So I think that's how it became that.

[675] You feel me?

[676] I was like, oh, yeah, this is a friend, though.

[677] But he told me it was going to come to a bike riding thing that I do.

[678] He ain't came yet, so I'm calling him out on name.

[679] I'll do it.

[680] All right.

[681] Is this for family first?

[682] Yeah, for the foundation.

[683] I would love to do, seriously, and I used to work all the time every day, constantly.

[684] Do a show, plus a podcast, plus all my other illegal activities.

[685] But I have a whole other stuff going on that you can't know about.

[686] And it's got to stop because they're going to catch me soon.

[687] But no, I would love to do that.

[688] And you know what?

[689] This is something that a lot of people know about you, but really needs to be said.

[690] again here.

[691] You started this family first project, and it really does express your strong feelings about family and friends comes before fame and comes before money.

[692] And you walk the walk.

[693] I appreciate it, big dog.

[694] Yeah.

[695] I sell it.

[696] Yeah.

[697] I mean, you're, I mean, I see what you do at Thanksgiving when you're getting food into the, into the neighborhoods.

[698] You're, and you're doing everything you can.

[699] And I think sometimes there's a lot of people that think I got here because of my skill, my ability, and so why should I have to share anything?

[700] You reflect the philosophy that I believe, which is I didn't get here by myself.

[701] You've been very vocal about your mom and how if your mom hadn't been there, things might have turned out very differently for you or it hadn't been such a great figure in your life.

[702] Facts.

[703] That's the facts.

[704] Yeah.

[705] Hell you.

[706] I know shit, because I I remember, Mama, come out of jail the first time.

[707] My mama, like, boy, where your ass said, I'm about to beat the shit out of you.

[708] She said that when she first saw you?

[709] She said that to me when I first talked to her on the phone.

[710] She said, boy, where the hell you are?

[711] I'm going to come beat your ass.

[712] What the hell you mean you're getting out of jail?

[713] And that was like, shit.

[714] In my head, I'm thinking like, Mama, you know I'm a grown -ass man. And I'm like, I don't even think she gave, like, two fucks about it.

[715] there, like, boy, as soon as I see you, I'm going to beat the breaks off your ass.

[716] And I'm like, shit.

[717] I didn't go see you.

[718] You avoided your mom?

[719] You're more afraid of your mom than jail.

[720] You're like, you're free to go, Mr. Lynch.

[721] No, I'll stay here.

[722] You know what?

[723] I'm good.

[724] Look, in the black community, boy, I'm telling you, that mama is a monster.

[725] What do you think that beats my own shit really comes?

[726] That beat flow shit really comes from.

[727] Moms wasn't playing no games.

[728] And shit, moms was a 200 track star, too.

[729] So it wasn't that if I decided to run, like, you hear them feet right behind you.

[730] That's when you had to get agile.

[731] Yeah.

[732] We don't have to see if you can get some of these juke, juke, jukees.

[733] Them juke moves on her.

[734] Hit a 42 fake on her so quick.

[735] I had to.

[736] You're basically saying that your mom made you this great athlete because she was so fast and you had the outrunner.

[737] You had to.

[738] Did you ever picture when you were playing in a Super Bowl and you've got the ball and you're running for the goal line and they're after you?

[739] Did you ever picture my mom's behind me?

[740] They go moms and you hear them feet.

[741] That's them bare feet too.

[742] I don't know what it is about me. For whatever reason, whenever we was racing back in the hood of shit, I don't know why we used to do.

[743] Everybody used to take their shoes off and run barefooted.

[744] And I don't know why.

[745] Every time you step on something, it's guaranteed you're going to step on something.

[746] But you'd rather take the pain or stepping on something than losing in a feet race on concrete straight up.

[747] My mom used to take them shoes off and get the booking.

[748] I would never, ever take my sneakers off and run on concrete.

[749] Because my feet would shatter instantly.

[750] My feet are basically little humble figurines.

[751] that you collect.

[752] They're little collectible, you know, they're like made of clay.

[753] They would just shatter my feet.

[754] They're porcelain.

[755] They're porcelain.

[756] Yeah, yeah.

[757] They're very beautiful and delicate.

[758] Gorgeous feet.

[759] Gorgeous, sexy porcelain feet.

[760] Yeah.

[761] I'm telling you.

[762] But for your street cred, you probably have to run barefoot.

[763] Yeah, that's going to hurt my streetcret.

[764] No, it ain't.

[765] You're going to have to do it.

[766] Because you tell them, you line it up, they're going to tell you, line it up.

[767] All right, you're talking to all that shit, line it up.

[768] And the first thing you, see him do it for anybody who accept and then they take the sneakers off.

[769] Oh, we're ready to, too.

[770] Lighthole to life.

[771] Got you.

[772] Really?

[773] And the sneakers come up.

[774] I didn't know that.

[775] I didn't know that the sneakers come off.

[776] You know what I'd do?

[777] I'd take my sneakers off and I'd have other sneakers on underneath.

[778] Little smaller, smaller sneakers that are, and I'd paint them to look like my feet.

[779] And people would say like, he's got weird ass feet.

[780] They're kind of sneaker shape And they say Nike on the side But they've got little toes painted on them And now I'm ready to go Did he win or lose?

[781] Yeah, I would lose Oh, mad and shit You hate Let's figure this out Because I want to come I want you to show me around I will participate I want to help your cause I want to be there So let's figure it out All right so How long is the bike ride?

[782] 24 miles Okay, this isn't happening No, I'm kidding I'm kidding Oh my son I didn't tell you, my heart is also made of porcelain.

[783] It shatters immediately.

[784] No, no, no, I'm actually in decent shape.

[785] It's not a race.

[786] And I love to ride and I would, I seriously, I'll ship my bike up, I'll come up and I'll ride.

[787] And then we'll visit your hood and I will either get cred or you will lose your cred.

[788] So we're going to get you the starter pack.

[789] We're going to get you a bean.

[790] No, we can't get you a beanie.

[791] Why?

[792] He can't cover that hair, bro.

[793] That's the Johnny Bravo hair.

[794] bro it's just I've been damn bro I've been trying to man I've finally figured out you finally figured out where it comes from yes I stole this hair from Johnny Bravo fuck look at that look at that look at I can do with it see look at man I got powers that's my beast mode right there someday my hair isn't there and it's just flopping down and I'm in a funk and then other time and then I get you've seen it sona I get crazed and the hair just comes up to action Yeah.

[795] We're going to get you some J's, too.

[796] What's your favorite number?

[797] I guess 29.

[798] All right.

[799] I don't know if Jordan, they got Jordan 29s.

[800] I'm pretty sure they do.

[801] I see what you're doing.

[802] You don't trust me to dress cool.

[803] That's what's happening here.

[804] No, no, no, no. That's exactly what's happening here.

[805] See, look, man. This is all coming up.

[806] Oh, it's a really nice guy.

[807] And now you're like, no, we're getting your new underwear, too.

[808] No, bro.

[809] You wear whatever kind of drugs you want to, bro.

[810] But I'm just saying, as far as that, I like to go Commando, you know what I'm saying?

[811] Well, come on.

[812] That's something America needed to hear.

[813] Hey, man, mobile will tell you.

[814] I got to let that stuff breathe, you know?

[815] But we're going to get you some Js.

[816] You see, me, we're going to get you some purple jeans, get you a dope air hoodie, you feel me, though.

[817] All right.

[818] And we're going to have you out there sliding a hell of shit.

[819] You're going to fuck with it.

[820] Can you get that wheel up?

[821] Yeah, I can get the wheel up, but then it keeps going and I crash.

[822] I don't get the wheel up and keep it up.

[823] No, we don't need you to crash, but maybe wheel up, we'll do.

[824] down, fuck with it a little bit.

[825] I'll do some tricks.

[826] I'll do some stuff.

[827] I'm going to get very badly hurt, but I'm going to do whatever you tell me to do.

[828] No, I want to go.

[829] I want to help out because I'm very impressed with what you're doing.

[830] And I think it's very meaningful.

[831] Straight up.

[832] I appreciate it.

[833] Now tell me about this other business venture.

[834] This is Beast Mode.

[835] Tell me about this business venture that you're doing.

[836] You've got a lot going on.

[837] Yeah, Beast Mode Marketing.

[838] Well, I mean, I wasn't really feeling.

[839] the marketing side of the company I was dealing with so then I had a young running back that's from the Bay Area was coming out.

[840] I was like, hey, bro, I want you to represent me and I'm like, what you mean?

[841] Like, I want you to represent me like my agent and shit.

[842] I'm like, oh, no, bro, I can't do that, bro.

[843] Like, that's not my lane.

[844] I'm like, I'm very able to help you on some marketing shit.

[845] He's like, cool, I want you to do my marketing.

[846] I'm like, you sure?

[847] He's like, yeah, so I was like, fuck, okay.

[848] So I got with B. We went and got a business for it.

[849] And ever since then, we've just been rocking.

[850] So it really just came together just basically off.

[851] One of my little homies needed some, some help.

[852] So I went ahead and created a business for him.

[853] That's, I mean, to me, what you essentially did is you're a huge star.

[854] You are very well liked.

[855] And people love seeing you in commercials.

[856] And you said, you know what?

[857] This is not, I don't think I'm being heard.

[858] I'm going to do this.

[859] for myself with my friends and we're going to do this in a way that makes sense for me, which...

[860] Us.

[861] Yeah.

[862] Makes sense for us.

[863] When I think about things, it's just me. It's Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[864] It's Team Coco.

[865] You see how it works.

[866] I took a limo here and I made someone a walk.

[867] He didn't let me take my car.

[868] Yeah, yeah.

[869] She has a car.

[870] I won't let her use it.

[871] She has to walk.

[872] No, I'm kidding, but I think what you did was you took control.

[873] yourself and that's a part of your personality you've always had which is I'm not going to do something I don't want to do you know you are very very vocal about the fact that you are in control of your destiny and you know who you are you're not looking to please everybody else a lot of young athletes out there who think well I got to play the game I just got to keep playing the game the leg work in that too is it started you know a long time ago and I mean the trials and tribulations that I didn't been through, you know, I say with, you know, building that.

[874] You know, there was, you know, times where, you know, I jeopardized my career by doing some of the shit that I was doing.

[875] And, you know, when the backfire and shit hit the fan, it was like, okay, well, now you can also play the game on this type of situation that, you know, go and do the, oh, yeah, you know, I messed up and, you know, all that type of shit.

[876] And I was like, well, to be honest with you, I knew exactly what it was all doing.

[877] So I'm gonna stand on my own 10 toes.

[878] Yeah, I did that shit and man, you know what?

[879] I mean, I just took accountability and ownership for the shit that I did and, you know, we go play somewhere in there.

[880] Hey, you fucking asshole, you ain't shit.

[881] You did X, Y, and Z and you was in jail.

[882] Like, yeah, you're right up.

[883] You goddamn right, motherfucker.

[884] And if you don't shut your ass up, might be going back because I come up there and you know what's up.

[885] Oh, yeah, no, no, no, that's not what we want.

[886] Go ahead, have a good game.

[887] Like, oh yeah, that motherfucker did.

[888] just getting in trouble for doing some shit like, hey, no, that's cool.

[889] But, I mean, you know.

[890] Well, you know who you are.

[891] You know who you are.

[892] And a lot of people don't.

[893] A lot of people are, or they're trying to figure out who they are.

[894] They're trying to manufacture who they are.

[895] You got to be you.

[896] You got to be comfortable.

[897] You got to be comfortable.

[898] You got to be comfortable when you take them shoes off and then you tent toes down.

[899] You got to be, you got to be comfortable.

[900] And I don't feel a lot of people, you know, a lot of people are.

[901] I mean, they can, you know, pretend that they are and they can put it out there as if they is but shit when I go to sleep at night shit I'll be slob in the hell of shit because I'm getting that good rest when I do decide to go to sleep but yeah I'm getting Are you turning in at nine little warm milk and then you turn right in watch some matlock and then just pass out you ageing me huh I don't remember that shit I spotted you as a matlock fan a long time ago you got Matlock written all over you.

[902] Man, that's sometimes that's the only thing that come through on that on my little TV with the black and white and the lines going through that motherfucker.

[903] I remember that time.

[904] I don't know what the hell going on, but it was that most entertaining shit on TV.

[905] Like now there's a million things on TV all the time because you've got so many choices.

[906] When we were kids we watched what was on.

[907] So you'd turn on the TV and there's like there's a Catholic Mass on Channel 4 and you'd say like, we're not going to do that.

[908] And then you'd turn to another station and it's some old black and white movie.

[909] That's what we're watching.

[910] Yeah.

[911] Because there's no such thing as, you know.

[912] Clicking that goddamn knob.

[913] Hell yeah.

[914] I'm telling you, straight up.

[915] But now you can go on Netflix and turn on Motorville and be like, damn, look at blood out there.

[916] You're traveling out of my life.

[917] Hey, I got to ask you, where are you going to be watching the Super Bowl?

[918] Because whatever party you're at is going to be the party to be at.

[919] I haven't put too much thought into it.

[920] But wherever you show up is going to be the place to be.

[921] I will tell you, you have that power.

[922] He doesn't want to tell you in case you come.

[923] No, no, real talk, though.

[924] Come in, it's not like, you feel me, when I go to walk those.

[925] Hello, fellows, I'm here.

[926] I'm ready to watch people toss the pigskin around.

[927] But hold on, man. I brought rice pudding for everybody.

[928] Which show was it, man?

[929] I gave you your, I gave you your hood.

[930] sling and I gave I told you you got you got a phrase that when you come to the hood you got to say it oh damn it I don't remember I don't remember what no what was it do you it you is you is you is you is you it's right you I have to say you is right you what does that mean why am I saying that I'm gonna walk around Oakland going you is you no you is what you eat you eat I'm trying to get it right You eat.

[931] You eat.

[932] You eat.

[933] You eat.

[934] There you go.

[935] You eat.

[936] Yeah.

[937] What is happening?

[938] What is this?

[939] You eat.

[940] I can't stop now.

[941] I'm going to do that in Oakland.

[942] On your bike.

[943] You eat.

[944] I'm going to get on a very small tricycle.

[945] Oh.

[946] Wear super short shorts and a hat with a feather in it and drive around Oakland going, you eat.

[947] You eat.

[948] And I'll never be heard from again.

[949] No, that ain't the facts.

[950] That ain't the facts.

[951] Marshawn, you are one of my favorite people.

[952] I say that with great honesty.

[953] You are funny.

[954] Obviously, you're an incredibly talented athlete, but that's just one percent of what you are.

[955] You're just such a great spirit, and everyone knows it.

[956] I think that's the other nice thing is that when you show up in a commercial, when you show up anywhere, people are happy because you radiate, you radiate good stuff.

[957] You really do.

[958] You're a good person.

[959] And I admire you.

[960] can't wait to come up to Oakland.

[961] I'm really coming.

[962] And you and everyone can laugh at me as much as you want.

[963] I don't care.

[964] I'll be there to be laughed at.

[965] No, man, we're going to laugh with you, big dog.

[966] We're going to laugh with you.

[967] I think there's going to be some of both.

[968] Hey, Marshawn Lynch, thank you so much for being here.

[969] Yeah, real honor to have you here.

[970] Marshawn Lynch, everybody.

[971] It's nice to meet you.

[972] It's so nice to meet you, too.

[973] I swear to God, he is, I get to talk to everybody.

[974] Yeah.

[975] I'd be able to meet everybody.

[976] And then there's something about him that's so completely unusual and different.

[977] He's so authentic.

[978] He's got this aura.

[979] He's like the coolest guy in the room.

[980] He's the nicest guy in the room.

[981] He's the funniest.

[982] He tells it like it is, which is amazing.

[983] And I love when you two get together.

[984] I think it's because you're, I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings.

[985] You're very different from each other as in like he's like very laid back and chill.

[986] And he's amazing athlete.

[987] He's an amazing athlete.

[988] And he's respected.

[989] And he's respected.

[990] this is the worst.

[991] You know, he's just, he exudes, you know, confidence.

[992] He was one of the greats at what he did.

[993] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[994] Okay.

[995] Listen.

[996] Damn it.

[997] No, but I mean, I like when you two get together.

[998] No, we always have a good time.

[999] And it is one of those pairings that no one would see coming.

[1000] Yeah.

[1001] It's Conan and Marlon.

[1002] and then it's delightful.

[1003] Like, it's just so much fun.

[1004] And I just love him.

[1005] I don't think he's always looking at me like, why am I with this guy?

[1006] Yeah.

[1007] But I think he has affection for me, but he's also looking over at me like, I can't believe he really looks like that.

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] He loves your hair.

[1010] I can't believe he stuck with that choice.

[1011] Well, anyway, we have something a little different we're going to do today.

[1012] On the podcast, occasionally, we have fans call in and they ask a question.

[1013] and we thought maybe since we do have an audience here, maybe if anybody does have a question for myself or for Sona or for both of us, you might want to ask it right now.

[1014] We're going to ask, believe it or not, Sona has an assistant who assists her.

[1015] It's David Hopping.

[1016] Let's bring him out here.

[1017] Now, I want to talk to David for a second.

[1018] First of all, David, why does Sona have an assistant when her job is to assist me and she doesn't really assist me that much?

[1019] So what's the deal?

[1020] Well, she's busy doing other things.

[1021] Yeah.

[1022] No, long before she had twins, long before these twins were even on the horizon, she was like, I need help.

[1023] Enter David Hopping.

[1024] And you've been fantastic.

[1025] Thank God she did for me. Yeah.

[1026] Well, you know, and I just want to do a quick plug.

[1027] You have your own podcast.

[1028] I do.

[1029] Yeah, tell us about that.

[1030] It's called Back to the Best.

[1031] I hosted it with my friend Grace Isaacs.

[1032] And it's quite good.

[1033] Thank you.

[1034] Yeah.

[1035] It's all about 90s and 2000.

[1036] Like Disney Channel and things that we grew up watching.

[1037] Yeah.

[1038] I can't believe you just named, we grew up watching that stuff.

[1039] When you, 90s and 2000s, I was old then.

[1040] When you talk nostalgically about, oh, the late 2000s.

[1041] Remember, I was a little boy.

[1042] And I used to think someday.

[1043] And I'm like, what are you talking about?

[1044] I was 70 then.

[1045] But thank you for helping Sona help me. Of course.

[1046] You really are, you get it done.

[1047] Now he's just really mostly helping you and I'm just kind of sat back and let him just take over my job.

[1048] Yeah.

[1049] But you also know a lot though.

[1050] Yeah, but just to talk about television.

[1051] Yeah, I don't think it's about work or anything.

[1052] Well, David, do you mind going out and seeing if there's anybody out there in this crowd of 20 people responsibly masked and distance to see if anybody, there's a hand up right there if they have a question?

[1053] Great shirt.

[1054] Hey, hey, guys.

[1055] So my question is, what can we know about the new show that you'll be doing and when can we expect it?

[1056] And would you still be doing the remotes that we all love?

[1057] Okay.

[1058] That's a very good question.

[1059] Question is, first of all, it's the same question that HBO Max is asking me all the time.

[1060] So Conan, that show that you were going to do right after the old one, uh -huh.

[1061] Guys, you ever have a term paper when you were in high school and it was due on a Thursday and Thursday came by?

[1062] You didn't have it.

[1063] No, we are working on something.

[1064] I can't tell you exactly when it's when it's going to come out.

[1065] It will not be a night -to -night show.

[1066] And I can't say too much about it.

[1067] But what I will say is that what I'd like to do or focus on is the stuff I do that I think maybe I'm particularly useful at or adept at.

[1068] I want to double down on all that.

[1069] So when you talk about remotes and things where I'm with real people and in real situations, that's exactly the kind of stuff that I'm thinking about.

[1070] and that's what I want to do is, it's a real, it's just a joy.

[1071] When I walk around, people come up to me and because of YouTube, there's all this stuff.

[1072] Yeah.

[1073] Some with Sona.

[1074] There's stuff with, obviously, with Kevin Hart, nice cube, but then there's stuff, you know, when I go to the American Girl store and I'm, you know.

[1075] The commercial acting one I loved.

[1076] Yeah, there's just so many different.

[1077] There's a lot of really good ones.

[1078] So many different ones.

[1079] And some of them, you know, from the old show, from the late night show, going back to the 90s, which is crazy to say that now.

[1080] But those are really meaningful to me. And I love, people will come up to me and they have just seeing them.

[1081] And I mean all over the world.

[1082] If I go, when I travel, people will say.

[1083] Yeah.

[1084] I just saw that one where you went to a Korean spa.

[1085] Yeah.

[1086] You know, and I saw your whole body and I can't unsee it.

[1087] Yeah.

[1088] In countries where your show never aired, they know you because of YouTube and your remote system.

[1089] Yeah, and it's really nice because the stuff that I like about that comedy is, and the Jordan stuff.

[1090] People go crazy for the Jordan stuff and Jordan in Italy and just the different times.

[1091] I mean, I've been in parts of the world, you know, I was in, I think I was in Ghana, and someone on the street asked me, is Jordan for real?

[1092] of that.

[1093] I'm like, I'm in Africa.

[1094] How do you even know who I am?

[1095] But they do.

[1096] They know.

[1097] And it's really a joy.

[1098] And so I'd like to, I would like to add to that mountain of foolishness.

[1099] I would love to add some more foolishness to that mountain.

[1100] But thank you.

[1101] That was a really nice question.

[1102] David, do you, does anyone else here have a question for me?

[1103] Conan, hey, Sona.

[1104] Hey.

[1105] Conan, your murder of the last episode was awesome.

[1106] Oh, thank you.

[1107] So was Marchant's.

[1108] How did that come about?

[1109] And do you think that you would do more stuff like that?

[1110] And do people approach you to make appearances like that?

[1111] Well, that's a good question too.

[1112] So I'll tell you exactly what happened.

[1113] A lot of things I say no to because it just doesn't feel right.

[1114] I get a text.

[1115] It's Will Arnett.

[1116] And he says, can I get on the phone with you?

[1117] And I said, sure.

[1118] So he basically said, hey, I'm doing this project.

[1119] It's a really silly detective show.

[1120] And I'm always teamed with someone who doesn't know what's happening.

[1121] It'll be two days of shooting in the valley.

[1122] and Will Arnett is one of my favorite funny people.

[1123] So when all, he didn't even finish the sentence.

[1124] And I said yes.

[1125] And then he did that thing where he was like, I mean, I think it would be really good.

[1126] You know, he.

[1127] That's a great Will Arnett.

[1128] GMC trucks.

[1129] And then it's quite strange.

[1130] They don't tell you anything.

[1131] All I knew was that I was a trainee and you're in your trailer.

[1132] They come in hair, makeup.

[1133] You're waiting.

[1134] You're waiting.

[1135] You're waiting.

[1136] then they bring you into this giant warehouse where they're shooting and they bring you in the back.

[1137] And I haven't even seen Will yet.

[1138] I haven't seen anybody.

[1139] And I'm behind a door.

[1140] And they say when someone taps you go in.

[1141] And I can just barely hear what they're saying because I'm on the other side of all this set.

[1142] And I'm quite a distance away.

[1143] And I just hear you've got a new partner.

[1144] You know, not a new partner.

[1145] And well, here he is right.

[1146] now let's get them in here and then someone just taps you on the back and you walk in and the next thing you know um i haven't seen it yet myself but people tell me i keep saluting people and um i don't know what's happening yeah and i just will say things and will's trying to make me laugh and i'm trying to make will laugh and there are moments when you you broke oh i had to tell the two of you were just like having a really yeah he kept you know and and um there are little things like they bring this guy in in cuffs and this magician and then he's pulling all this stuff out and I'm like, don't people get searched when they, you know, and Will does this thing where he laughs and holds his so then it's really fun but it's kind of like an escape room or something like you don't know what's happening.

[1147] It's a really good idea I think for a show I've had a lot of people say was the hot sauce thing real and I was yes it was really real that was very hot hot sauce and Will kept putting more and more on and my thing was I'm going to eat as much of this as I can and my eyes are watering and then when the scene was over someone came walking up to me everyone's masked and everything but walking up to me with a big plastic bucket and said if you need to throw up I'm like you were prepared for me to throw up they didn't give you like milk or anything someone was standing there with milk but I think they were drinking it anyway it was really fun to do and yes at this point I like saying if something sounds like it could be interesting or different or fun, I'm really up for it.

[1148] So I'm looking for those opportunities.

[1149] Yes, question down here.

[1150] David, you're doing a really good job.

[1151] Thank you so much.

[1152] Yeah.

[1153] Hi, Sona.

[1154] Hi, Conan.

[1155] Thank you for doing this first of all.

[1156] Oh, this was fun.

[1157] Like I said, this is a very nice facility.

[1158] I'm not used to things, this level of professionalism.

[1159] Like, we use tin cans and a string where we, so this is really cool.

[1160] My question is that we all know Sona has a book coming out very soon.

[1161] We're very excited about that.

[1162] Oh, thank you.

[1163] Would you ever consider writing a book?

[1164] I think it'd be great.

[1165] I want to see how Sona's book goes first.

[1166] Wait, why?

[1167] Well, because, you know, I don't know.

[1168] I mean, I've read through a lot of Sona's book, but, you know, what if I'm arrested after Sona's book comes out?

[1169] I would be arrested.

[1170] Well, yeah, but you're also, you know, the two of us should be arrested together.

[1171] Yes, that's true.

[1172] There's plenty of us just acting like total idiots in the workplace.

[1173] So, um, yeah, but, uh, yeah, I am interested in one day writing.

[1174] I've, uh, I had a very unusual show business life and a lot of crazy twists and turns that to this day are hard to explain to people.

[1175] Um, even Kevin Hart didn't quite know the story of how I got the show back in 93.

[1176] And I was talking to him the other day.

[1177] And when I told him how I got the first late night show, his jaw fell off.

[1178] He just couldn't understand that that was my.

[1179] So I've had a very improper.

[1180] weird, kooky career.

[1181] I've been incredibly lucky and had a lot of insane breaks and then crazy good things happen, crazy bad things happen.

[1182] And so I really do need to write it all down.

[1183] The one thing that sometimes gets in the way is I don't really want to like hurt people's feelings and there's if I really told the truth, you know, there's some people that might not be happy.

[1184] But Sonny, you'll get over it.

[1185] But no, I would very much like to do that.

[1186] So, yeah.

[1187] But Sona's book I have read, and it's really good.

[1188] It's really funny.

[1189] And the crazy thing is that it's all true.

[1190] So I'm looking forward to it.

[1191] And Conan wrote the foreword.

[1192] I wrote a forward to the...

[1193] It's the best part of the book.

[1194] No, no, no. I think people are going to like this book because it's all exactly true, and you can't believe that she wasn't fired 150 times.

[1195] And you can't believe I wasn't fired 70 times.

[1196] Yes, exactly.

[1197] So I'm really looking forward to it.

[1198] And it's called World's Worst Assistant.

[1199] Yes, it is.

[1200] Comes out in July.

[1201] Perfect.

[1202] Perfect.

[1203] Using your thing to plug my book.

[1204] Yeah, well, please.

[1205] You can pre -order it now.

[1206] Okay, take it easy.

[1207] All right.

[1208] That's now what you're doing.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] Pre -order my book comes out July 22.

[1211] Okay, that's fine.

[1212] Yeah.

[1213] Also, that's great.

[1214] It's a lot of behind -the -scenes stories.

[1215] Real fun anecdotes.

[1216] Yeah.

[1217] Conan O 'Brien wrote the forward.

[1218] Yeah.

[1219] We get it.

[1220] Yeah, really great.

[1221] Yeah.

[1222] Anything else you'd like to plug?

[1223] Oh, Sona's renting out her twins.

[1224] Mikey and Charlie are available for yard work.

[1225] They can't quite stand yet.

[1226] You said one of them can kind of crawl, right?

[1227] One of them is doing an army crawl.

[1228] So he can do some work.

[1229] Right.

[1230] I mean, their dad is a former Soviet, so we're getting them started pretty early.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] So, yeah.

[1233] All right.

[1234] Well, listen.

[1235] My children.

[1236] This is.

[1237] My babies.

[1238] and buy my book.

[1239] Pre -order, the world's worst assistant.

[1240] You're just a terrible person.

[1241] The way you're selling, you're like, you're making Trump look shy.

[1242] You know?

[1243] No, but pre -order right now.

[1244] All right, stop it.

[1245] All right, disgusting.

[1246] You sick and me. It's out July.

[1247] All right, just wrong.

[1248] The world's worst assistant.

[1249] Got to end the show.

[1250] This has been a lot of fun.

[1251] I want to thank everyone at serious for inviting us to do this because, as I say, this is a state -of -the -art, crazy -nice spaceship that they've let us use.

[1252] And this was really happy to be invited to come in here and do it.

[1253] And I want to thank our audience who came in and you guys are very nice.

[1254] Of course, David Hopping.

[1255] Sonam Obsessian.

[1256] Our shout out to Matt Goreley, who couldn't be here today because he actually cares about his child and wanted to be.

[1257] And keep listening.

[1258] We're really thrilled to do these podcasts, and we love that we love our fans.

[1259] You guys are the best.

[1260] Thank you.

[1261] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[1262] With Conan O 'Brien, Sona Mofsessian, and Matt Goreley.

[1263] Produced by me, Matt Goreley.

[1264] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

[1265] Theme song by The White Stripes.

[1266] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[1267] Take it away, Jimmy.

[1268] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples Engineering by Will Bechtin Talent booking by Paula Davis Gina Batista and Brick Con You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts And you might find your review read on a future episode Got a question for Conan?

[1269] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message It too could be featured on a future episode And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[1270] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.