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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVeyne, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Ooh, I know, right?
[17] Yeah.
[18] Modern?
[19] It's like when you get a new office chair.
[20] it's like aerodynamic are we recording because this is my real opinion this is not this isn't a commercial i'm not being paid about step and mike stands these are fucking fancy they when you move this thing it's like light as a feather stiff as a board fall into your lap like the old one what if there's even more noise than there used to be oh my god somehow oh welcome to my microphone.
[21] Did you say welcome to my favorite microphone?
[22] Good one.
[23] Thank y 'all.
[24] Welcome to my favorite murder.
[25] How many -sode?
[26] It's a minisode, which means take it easy.
[27] Don't worry about it.
[28] It's, look, we're just going to read some stuff.
[29] We don't really know what it's going to say.
[30] We're not taking this seriously.
[31] We don't.
[32] We can't.
[33] Why are you?
[34] I mean, stop being, it's like you're sitting there with your pen and your paper, making lists of things.
[35] Just take it easy.
[36] for a second.
[37] I think you're better than us?
[38] Yeah, you're not better than us.
[39] And we're not better than you.
[40] I mean, we're all the same under God's eyes.
[41] Yeah.
[42] Oh, sorry.
[43] Sorry, I know I talk about God too much on this blogger.
[44] I'm trying to push it in a lightly Christian direction.
[45] I didn't want to say anything because, like, who am I to judge?
[46] I did, during the live episode, I did reference God also because I found a sale dress.
[47] But that doesn't, I'm not affiliated with any.
[48] megachurch or any.
[49] Like thank you, Jesus.
[50] You were, right?
[51] I, anytime I find something on sale for under $80, I give it straight up to Jesus.
[52] That's, you're supposed to.
[53] Like a, yeah, like, thank you.
[54] Yeah.
[55] Because Jesus cares about.
[56] Fashion.
[57] Fashion.
[58] Bargain fashion.
[59] Bargain fashion.
[60] Bargain fashion.
[61] Bargand.
[62] Basement price.
[63] He loves the basement.
[64] Yeah.
[65] That's why all church groups take place in basements.
[66] Just read your thing.
[67] Oh, me?
[68] You were talking to Jesus still.
[69] That's private prayer.
[70] Read my hometown?
[71] Yeah, I might as well start it.
[72] Or I'll just keep talking about the Lord.
[73] We'll just keep making jokes about clothes.
[74] So these are your hometown murders that you've emailed us.
[75] You've emailed us many at my favorite murder at Gmail and the fucking fucked up murders you remember being fascinated by.
[76] So here's one.
[77] Um, so we were just in Boston and New York for our live show.
[78] Oh my gosh.
[79] Boston and New York.
[80] Thank you.
[81] What a, the weather.
[82] The weather.
[83] The people.
[84] Hotel.
[85] Oh my God.
[86] All of the gifts.
[87] Yeah.
[88] This is taking place before this happened.
[89] Yeah, we're faking.
[90] In case you have you know that.
[91] You know that.
[92] But we're so super excited.
[93] I bet we're going to be right about all those things.
[94] I think we're going to be dead on plus and then some.
[95] Dead on.
[96] Here's what I look forward to in the past.
[97] Tell me. This is in the, can I just tell a very quick story?
[98] I wish everyone could see you plucking out of the air.
[99] Here's what.
[100] This fucking motion.
[101] I'm putting my hand up as if George is trying to talk over me, which she is not.
[102] That's the kind of household I was raised in.
[103] It's like you're plucking, it's like you're plucking a decision out of the air.
[104] Here's the thing.
[105] Okay, go.
[106] There's the one I'm going to tell.
[107] Love it.
[108] My favorite moment, and there were many great moments from our mini West Coast tour.
[109] My favorite moment.
[110] Which did happen.
[111] We're not making this part up.
[112] That part's real and this is in us doing a hilarious bit about touring.
[113] One night when we were in Vancouver, we got back to the hotel and somebody was like, come down to the bar and meet us there.
[114] And we had to like do some dumb travel thing.
[115] But we had a couple things to do.
[116] But Georgia was like, you need to.
[117] to go down to that bar and like hang out and i was like i do and then you you so enthusiastically with the biggest eyes you go i will totally be your wingman and it was like that's the memory that keeps coming back to me from that weekend is georgia was just like give me the chance to wingman because you will be blown out by me wingman no i'm terrible at it like i'm so embarrassed like i'm your mom was just like, have you met my friend, Karen?
[118] And then I said, then you're like, do you want to go to the bar?
[119] I'm like, no, I don't want to go at all, but I'll go with you if you need me to.
[120] That's exactly right.
[121] That's the part that I appreciated.
[122] Because that's what friends do.
[123] I didn't want to go either, but you're, and we didn't go.
[124] This is the part that the big reveal is that, of course, I didn't go.
[125] I never go anywhere.
[126] Neither of us wanted to go anywhere.
[127] But I wanted to conceptually, because the person that asked us there was a very appealing individual.
[128] Yep.
[129] um, Georgia's like, basically like, I will try to help you.
[130] It was like you were a paramedic.
[131] You were just like, right.
[132] I will totally wing man for you.
[133] Well, it's not like I think you need me to fucking, you know, to fucking fuck, but like, but it was just like, I understand not wanting to walk in a bar with a bunch of fucking strangers.
[134] Could you imagine?
[135] Could you imagine walking in alone?
[136] And you don't drink.
[137] It's not like, That's the other thing, too, is like, I wouldn't care.
[138] I'd go to the bar alone and order a fucking drink.
[139] Yes.
[140] But you don't, like, that just sounds like, hi, I'm standing here.
[141] Hi, I'm just standing.
[142] I might, it might as well be, do you want to go downstairs in your underpants?
[143] And just be like, I, you know what I really would not like to at all?
[144] But I should, it would be really brave with me. And it's like you going, I'll hold your hand and I also won't wear pants.
[145] Yeah.
[146] Thank you for that.
[147] You're welcome.
[148] Thank you.
[149] The offer still stands.
[150] I mean, not for that particular.
[151] It's too late now.
[152] In the future.
[153] I really dropped the ball on that one.
[154] You really did.
[155] And it was kind of a big.
[156] It was a big ball.
[157] Sorry.
[158] I want to do better.
[159] But it's just nice to know you're willing to wing man for me even though you hate it.
[160] I love it because it's just I have no stakes.
[161] You know what I mean?
[162] It's pretty great.
[163] You're kind of up on that.
[164] And I think you're better than me is really what it is.
[165] I want to say that I stole, I think you think you're better than me from Jesse Pop.
[166] It's a total Jesse Pop way.
[167] So I don't think.
[168] think he listens to this podcast but fuck him he should he's totally into true crime okay i bet he does he just would never say anything to us because that's how he is hi jesse pop we know you're listening to us we know you're listening would never say hey i like your podcast and so you know what since you don't say that to us we're going to steal all your jokes yeah so right now we're starting it we're stealing it i think you think you're better than me just get ready for all your other stuff to get stolen all right Anyhow.
[169] All right.
[170] Here's a hometown murder from a girl named Annie.
[171] Hi.
[172] Hi, Annie.
[173] You guys are the best.
[174] I have a deep admiration for your work.
[175] Oh.
[176] Sounds like fancy.
[177] Work is a bit generous.
[178] Yeah, from your mouths, it should say.
[179] Your humor and the murderino community you fostered.
[180] Agreed.
[181] I agree with that.
[182] I have to admit I only have just discovered your podcast, so I'm not sure if this story has already been shared.
[183] I grew up in a suburb just at, of Boston called, here we go.
[184] Wellesley?
[185] Wellesley.
[186] Wellesley.
[187] Wellesley.
[188] Welles.
[189] No. There's an extra E in there.
[190] But there's a college called Wellesley that is pronounced Wellesley.
[191] It's W .E. L -E -L -E -L -E -S.
[192] Wells.
[193] Lee.
[194] L -E -Y.
[195] We're never going to.
[196] It's like we have really good reading skills.
[197] Like we can read just fine.
[198] I read all the time.
[199] I read a lot, and I've never doubted myself more.
[200] Well, I have this, okay, real quick, when I was in, like, fourth grade, third grade, really young.
[201] I was really into reading, and I had a book that I'd already read, like, three times James and the Giant Peach.
[202] And my fucking cunt of a teacher grabbed it from my hands and said, you can't read this.
[203] Like, you don't know, this is too old for you.
[204] Read this line in front of the whole class.
[205] And I, like, couldn't pronounce a word because I was a kid, but in the fucking, in the sentence, I understand what that word is.
[206] What kind of teacher?
[207] Closed it in my face.
[208] So lost my fucking place.
[209] Wait.
[210] That's not teaching.
[211] I'm sorry.
[212] Can I shout out her name?
[213] She's probably dead.
[214] It's the worst teacher in all of California.
[215] She was horrified.
[216] I will tell you right now that Laura Kilgareff, teacher of plus 25 years in the Nevada school district, would ring that woman's neck.
[217] I look back and I'm like, well, no. Yeah.
[218] It's simply not how it's done.
[219] That's like saying I'm, here's my teaching method.
[220] I'm going to scar children around words.
[221] So then when they have a fucking successful podcast when they're older, they're going to freak the fuck out whenever they say a word that doesn't look, yeah.
[222] It's a setup.
[223] This whole thing is a setup.
[224] I think me saying I'm wrong and not giving a shit and not saying to Stephen, edit that out.
[225] It's because fuck you, Ms. Blank, blank, blank.
[226] Oh, Ms. Blank.
[227] You had Ms. Blank Blank for reading?
[228] I want to say her name's so bad.
[229] Okay, sorry.
[230] That was Sidebar Nation.
[231] um that's where we live so wellesley where the college is listen uh it's an old small and affluent town probably very close to whatever image you've conjured in your mind ivy yeah ivy bricks leagues great leagues oh my god um even as an adolescent i was definitely aware of the pressure for adults to attain and maintain status a huge part of the status was pretty was providing for and protecting your family.
[232] Oh, what fucking boring town.
[233] The town was so...
[234] Wait, is that in the email?
[235] No, that was me. Like, oh, like striving to protect your, take care of your family.
[236] Sorry, I'm sorry, Annie.
[237] The town was so, quote, safe that a favorite stoned activity of high school students was reading the police blotter and laughing at the ridiculous complaints.
[238] Uniformed officers were called in on.
[239] And so safe we had to read the police blotter while.
[240] well, hi, to actually feel like we were getting away with something.
[241] That's called privilege.
[242] The town, in the town is a pond lined with walking paths.
[243] Halloween morning, 1999, a middle -aged woman is found dead along one of these paths.
[244] She had been stabbed so many times she was nearly decapitated.
[245] Her husband had discovered her body.
[246] According to him, she had stopped to sit on a bench because her back was hurting, while he finished a lap around the pond with their dog.
[247] Her husband was a well -known doctor.
[248] where is this going?
[249] I'd never heard of him before but had several friends who had been in his care at one time or another.
[250] He was obviously suspected in her death.
[251] I remember the confusion this caused for so many people who knew him and stuck up for him, particularly his own adult children.
[252] Unfortunately for his friends and family, as the investigation unfolded, his guilt seemed pretty imminent.
[253] The police uncovered his secret identity, discovered he hired, I'm going to change this word, to sex workers, on many occasions and spent a substantial amount of his money on a phone sex line.
[254] Wow.
[255] I hear they're very addictive.
[256] Right.
[257] It's fun to talk on the phone.
[258] Yeah.
[259] Hey, girl.
[260] Hey.
[261] Hey, what's up?
[262] Tell me what you're wearing.
[263] You know you're being bad.
[264] You know it's so expensive.
[265] Like, what did Jesus tell you to wear today?
[266] They don't bring him into it.
[267] I know.
[268] There were also many rumors he had another family in another state, although I'm not sure if this ever verified.
[269] Okay.
[270] The story sticks in my mind for many reasons, but the moment I became a true murdering, I was a couple years after the doctor's conviction.
[271] The detectives from this case gave a presentation on the evidence, and obviously I was in attendance.
[272] That's awesome.
[273] They played us a 911 tapes in which the doctor screams about the discovery of his wife's body.
[274] The police may note that as soon as the operator tells the frantic man to calm down, he actually does.
[275] Suspicious.
[276] The doctor did have blood on his clothes, but this was consistent with him rushing to her body and attempting to revive her.
[277] gloves and a knife were found on a drain pipe a quarter mile from the scene at first they couldn't prove that the gloves belonged to the doctor but a very detail -oriented person noticed that the blood spatter on the doctor's glasses which had been taken into evidence was not actually a random splatter pattern the gloves had those little rubber dots for grips and this is exactly matched the pattern on the corner of one of his lenses yes i remember this is a this is either a 2020 or a forensic files that to me is the most convincing part of it yes amazing it's like a double fingerprint yeah like the blood spatter i'm like well they they don't believe that as much anymore but that's like a shoe print on your glasses it's your own that's like if your glasses could take pictures yes you know what i mean yep and that's coming someday soon oh you know it is yeah they're okay anyways too many sidebars thus the doctor was wearing these bloody gloves and likely straightened his askew glasses after stabbing his wife of 35 years to death Fuck.
[278] How many times was she stabbed?
[279] Like 40?
[280] 35.
[281] Wait, no, no, no. That's how many years they were married.
[282] One for every year.
[283] Something like 40.
[284] Yeah.
[285] Horrified.
[286] That would be fucking.
[287] That's fucked up.
[288] Yeah.
[289] Another anecdote is that several years after this incident, Pastorby spent a large amount of bloody human tissue in the same pond.
[290] They immediately called the police and the town went to a frenzy again, worried that the spot was a hot new murder site or body dump.
[291] A very embarrassed young couple new to the town had come forward and claimed their after.
[292] birth, which they had ceremoniously floated into the pond after a home birth.
[293] Oh my God.
[294] You weirdo hippies.
[295] We were going to have Marge and Dave over for dinner on Friday night, but did you read the paper?
[296] We're just going to cancel.
[297] What?
[298] They're giving their afterbirth like a Viking funeral.
[299] What do you do?
[300] Get away from the pond.
[301] Take care of your newborn baby.
[302] Yes.
[303] Focus on other births besides the after.
[304] Ew.
[305] It's so weird.
[306] Meanwhile, a family's like swimming on the side.
[307] Oh, my God.
[308] This pond's not big enough for the whole town.
[309] I wasn't going to read that part because this part is so long, but I'm so glad that I did.
[310] I didn't know what it was.
[311] That is horrifying.
[312] The town has been totally traumatized.
[313] And then these goofballs go down of like, no, we wanted to celebrate the amniotic sack.
[314] Yeah.
[315] What?
[316] I mean, it was part of our child's life for nine months.
[317] And we wanted to give it a proper.
[318] Why don't you, instead, why don't every full diaper that you pull off that baby, why don't you burn that in your barbecue?
[319] I have two words.
[320] Garbage disposal.
[321] Like, just get rid of it.
[322] And then just a little squeeze a lemon up.
[323] Just clean it out.
[324] Oh, wait, let me just want to acknowledge that this idea of, quote, safety I was mocking in the beginning, especially with intersecting with privileges in many ways, an illusion, and definitely means for efficient scapegoating.
[325] Keep up the good work.
[326] My sincerest thanks to both of you, Annie.
[327] Annie, that is so true.
[328] What a good point at the end.
[329] That's it.
[330] That's it.
[331] It's people, privileged people like to pretend that their money means that they are immune from.
[332] horrible things and horrible people or they're immune to punishment yes for doing horrible things that's right sometimes is true unfortunately but right that is very true but I think it the way um the attention is becoming more and more paid to all these kind of things right how many doctor 2020s are there where the doctor's like I just decided I didn't want that old wife anymore yeah oh he was having an affair shocking oh he had a whole other secret family and wife in a different state.
[333] How amazing.
[334] Oh, he thought he could get away with that.
[335] Yeah, right.
[336] He's smarter than everybody?
[337] Yeah.
[338] Oh, okay.
[339] Cidious.
[340] Hey, this is exciting.
[341] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[342] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.
[343] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[344] Who killed Saz?
[345] And were they really after Charles?
[346] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[347] This season, murder hits close to home.
[348] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[349] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[350] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[351] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[352] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[353] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[354] Bye.
[355] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[356] Absolutely.
[357] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[358] Exactly.
[359] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[360] But did you know that they also power in person sales?
[361] That's right.
[362] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[363] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[364] From accepting payments to managing and.
[365] inventory.
[366] They have everything you need to sell in person.
[367] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[368] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[369] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales.
[370] And if you're a business owner, you can too.
[371] Connect with customers in line and online.
[372] Do retail right with Shopify.
[373] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify .com slash murder important note that promo code is all lowercase go to shopify dot com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today that shopify dot com slash murder goodbye all right ready always um this one the subject line is accident or murder a nautical murder fun hi karen and georgia i absolutely love your podcast and listen to it every day on my way to work it makes the commute much better used to listen to other true crime podcasts, but always got too freaked out to fall asleep.
[374] So your blend of humor on true crime makes me laugh every time and then feel bad about laughing at murder, but then I can't stop laughing anyway.
[375] It's a vicious cycle.
[376] Yeah, we understand.
[377] I'm writing to tell you about a death that took place at my middle school a few years before I started there, but it was all people, but it was all people talked about for ages because of how controversial the story is.
[378] This is the story of Shelley Tire and the circumstances surrounding her death.
[379] I graduated from a small prep school just south of Boston.
[380] It's known for being a bit of a jock school as a lot of my fellow classmates were recruited to play sports in college.
[381] I was definitely not one of them.
[382] Back in 1999, the principal of the middle school, Shelley Tire, went on vacation with her husband, Davis Swain, to Tortola.
[383] I don't know where that is.
[384] Uh -uh.
[385] Where all the tortoises are.
[386] And she died in a scuba.
[387] a diving accident, she and Swain had split up, split from the group and done a solo dive where there was a malfunction with her equipment.
[388] And she died.
[389] Very tragic.
[390] But what was later discovered was that after they found her body, that her mask had clearly been tampered with, causing her inevitable death.
[391] Authorities found her snorkel missing and her mouthpiece damaged believed that someone had ripped them from her face mid -dive.
[392] There's a lot of pretty fuck.
[393] there's a lot that's pretty fucked up about her death.
[394] It was later revealed that Swain had abandoned tire on their dive, which I guess if you're an avid scuba diver, which Swain was, you know you're never supposed to abandon someone on a dive, and you are always supposed to stay with your buddy, right?
[395] So when you look at the facts, how he left her mid -dive and her mask had malfunctioned.
[396] It just doesn't look so good for him.
[397] Here's some more facts.
[398] He had made a lot less money than she did, and had sunk all of his money into a dive shop that failed shortly after they got married.
[399] He signed a pre -up that stated he would get nothing if they divorced.
[400] After Tyre's death, he inherited $600 ,000 from her estate, which he began spending lavishly, even started dating, though immediately after her death, he was shaken.
[401] People soon, after started to describe him as, quote, unquote, too happy, or that he had a lack of emotion.
[402] A lot of teachers at my school spoke up against him saying that they were disturbed by the way that he acted after her death.
[403] Tyre's family charged him with her murder, and they went to court with it, where if convicted, he would have been sent to jail for 25 years to life.
[404] He was sentenced, but in 2009, his conviction was overturned, and Swain is still around and even does interviews.
[405] There is a 48 -hour special on it, and even a lifetime movie on the whole case, which is how you know you've made it.
[406] it's really interesting and tragic and is still talked about mrs tyer was super loved and is very missed and her husband is a super scumback um thank you so much for making my days better with your podcast stay sexy jewels huh uh that's fascinating so he basically did get a if if he did it alleged he allegedly got away with alleged murder i mean i just don't know what kind of would pulling a face mask or a scuba mask to it.
[407] You know what I mean?
[408] It would make you drown.
[409] Yeah, but like, would the, would the mask be that damaged?
[410] Oh, well, maybe he pulled it so that like one of the plastic things on the side tore or something, because you would, it would have really good section if you were like, if it was underwater, you'd really have to rip it off.
[411] That's a good point.
[412] It wouldn't just come right off.
[413] It's such a bizarre, risky place to be.
[414] like that and that's not even scuba diving scoop diving you're underwater yeah and there's all these like there's classes you have to take and like yeah you have to be able to make sure that like the reason people know like if their air is low or oxygen or whatever the hell it is like because the other person's there all that shit's on your back i'm never going to do it and i'm fine with that it's very high risk i'm not doing it i'm good i'm good i go to an aquarium you know what i mean same diff but you get to keep your outfit on Yeah, you get wet.
[415] You go to lunch right after.
[416] You know, there's no drying off period.
[417] There's probably corn dogs at the fucking aquarium.
[418] I mean, that's where you find out your husband doesn't love you, underwater, on vacation.
[419] How horrifying.
[420] Up until that point, she's like, this has been the best marriage.
[421] That was the saddest line you've ever said.
[422] Yeah.
[423] Sorry.
[424] Oh.
[425] So surprising.
[426] Honey.
[427] Honey.
[428] Should I do a short one?
[429] sure and then this one seems depressing so I might not do it uh let's see here okay happy new year and my favorite murder which shows how long ago okay hi georgia and karen hi hi i only recently started listening to your podcast everyone says that's so funny and i just wanted to say thanks for being alive and talking about murder thank you i am only on episode eight so i don't know if you've already talked about, the preppy murder of 1986 in NYC.
[430] Oh, girl or guy, you guessed right.
[431] We sure did.
[432] Jennifer, girl or guy?
[433] We absolutely did.
[434] But I think this chick has a connection.
[435] Okay, Robert Chambers killed Jennifer Levin, early one morning in Central Park, and what prosecutors said was a violent rape.
[436] And Chambers always insisted it was fucking goddamn consensual rough sex.
[437] Piece of shit.
[438] This is my favorite murder because Jennifer Levin is my name too.
[439] and I first spent time in NYC that very summer when I was 12 right after my parents divorced.
[440] That first summer I watched the news a lot and was confused in many ways.
[441] It wasn't the first time I had seen the same name as someone else.
[442] Growing up, my name is so common in the suburbs of Chicago that two different libraries revoked my library card for overdue fines that weren't mine.
[443] And I got calls asking me to homecoming and prom that were intended for the older Jennifer Levin who lived down the street.
[444] Oh, to be like the, you get to be in the hot Jennifer Levin group.
[445] Yeah.
[446] Well done, older Jennifer Levin.
[447] Yeah.
[448] I say yes to everyone.
[449] Yeah.
[450] Let's see how that plays out.
[451] Just keep saying yes.
[452] Show up the night of like in the bushes.
[453] That's right.
[454] What's going to happen?
[455] Ruin time.
[456] Pick that one.
[457] Pick the heshire.
[458] Pick the rocker.
[459] Pick the rocker.
[460] I was confused about Jennifer's murder.
[461] Like I wasn't sure sometimes if they were talking about me and if I were alive dead.
[462] Yes, my childhood was a crime scene and this is a natural result of things I won't go into here.
[463] What?
[464] Um, okay.
[465] For two or three, she's just gone through some shit, it sounds like.
[466] Yeah, clearly.
[467] Yeah.
[468] She must have lived in a fucking funeral home or something.
[469] For two or three subsequent summers, the preppy murder was still very much a hot topic.
[470] And this was when things got strange.
[471] Some boys in my dad's Bronx neighborhood with whom I, with, wow, fellas.
[472] All right.
[473] Here we go.
[474] all right um that was elvis everyone okay some boys some boys in my dad okay some boys in my dad's bronx neighborhood with whom i'd had a falling out would hide behind cars and whisper jennifer levin is dead in the dark when i passed by jesus christ yeah it's chill guys guys guys guys boys at the tony day camp i worked at who went to york prep where chambers went to high school were especially interested and were always asking me out and saying I had to make out with them because of kismet.
[475] When I would go back home to Illinois in the fall and write letters to friends in New York, their parents would get mad at them for having a friend who put gruesome fake names on the return address.
[476] I played into all of this, I played into all of this somewhat, the summer of somewhat.
[477] In the summer I was 14, though the offers of making out with York prep guys were scary until tell someone who knew someone who knew her told me she was a real person and my behavior was offensive.
[478] But no one was reprimanded the boys trying to make out with me or hissing at me from behind cars.
[479] I had to remind him that so was I and it was my name too.
[480] Don't totally understand that paragraph.
[481] Vanity Googling is a trip.
[482] This name and story have followed me my whole life and that's and that and that like and likely that of all the other Jennifer Levens it is a very common name Jennifer Levin sincerely Jennifer Levin what does she like yeah that's kind of a big thing to go through when you're 14 though because 14 is the worst age right and you think you you think you know what's going on and you have no goddamn clue what's going on so and you think you're the center of the universe and you kind of like I know this might be silly but like I identify other girls named Georgia.
[483] I meet so few of them that I'm always like, oh, we have this, like, crazy thing in common.
[484] Yes.
[485] So to know another girl who was brutally murdered.
[486] Well, and also, that's when you're, that's that age where you're kind of like, I don't know who I am or I don't know what I want to be, so I'm going to try on all these hats.
[487] So then to have this thing constantly brought up to you of like you, you have the same name as a murdered girl, it just brings, yeah, there's just a lot of drama that, there's already tons of drama there.
[488] Yeah.
[489] It's not like you need any more when you're 14.
[490] Totally.
[491] I mean, that's how it was with me when I was constantly told that I look like Natalie from Facts of Life.
[492] All, yes, from when I was like 11 years old till it happens.
[493] Does she had fucking cheekbones that could cut up?
[494] She does actually, Minicokeme.
[495] Good for her.
[496] Anyway.
[497] Last one.
[498] So do you identify with, okay.
[499] Oh, sorry, what?
[500] So do you identify with Natalie from the Facts of Life?
[501] I did actually.
[502] I loved that show.
[503] Yeah, it was great.
[504] Um, she was the funny one.
[505] All right, final one, a whack murder story.
[506] Karen and Georgia, huge fan, huge fan.
[507] So technically this isn't a hometown murder story because you already talked about the one bad thing that ever happened in Minnesota, which was Jacob Wetterling in your first episode.
[508] I dare to disagree with that.
[509] The one bad thing in Minnesota?
[510] Guess what?
[511] There's some pretty bad things that have happened there.
[512] But the following story happened to one of my sister's classmates in NYC.
[513] What if this was about Jennifer Levin again?
[514] But the one that wrote the email.
[515] Then that would be Stephen's fault because he picked these for us.
[516] Everything's Steven's fault.
[517] So it was probably 2 or 3 a .m. And this girl, college age, gets on the subway.
[518] Sitting on the end of the subway car are two shady looking thugs.
[519] In the middle is a middle -aged couple and who look like they could be your mom and dad.
[520] I think if this goes the way I think it's going to go, this is a creepy pop.
[521] up but let's find out oh um clearly they're the murderers so she goes and sits across from the couple and they look tired and the man has his arm around the woman as the ride goes on she notices that the woman is staring at her like and at first she's just like okay whatever but after she doesn't stop staring the girl says something like what's up can i help you on the man says sorry she's super tired and so our girl is just like sure whatever but the lady doesn't stop staring this isn't real this is from someone who is 14 when the train comes to a stop I've honestly read this on creepy pasta forums yes when the train comes to a stop but it's totally worth it one of the shady dudes from the end of the car runs grabs our girl throws her off the train runs off behind her the door closes and our girl is obviously like what the hell man and he goes I am an undercover cop that man on the train just killed his wife and was holding her up with his arm.
[522] Wait, what?
[523] The woman that was staring at her was dead.
[524] I knew that.
[525] Oh, I said.
[526] But who got thrown off the wear and the why?
[527] The girl had happened to.
[528] So never judge a thug by its...
[529] Thugs aren't...
[530] Sometimes thugs are cops.
[531] Yeah, the normal -looking guys are sometimes the meanest.
[532] These are the details I know, and I want to know so much more.
[533] Okay, well, guess what, Rosemary?
[534] Here's what you need to know.
[535] That was written by a 15 -year -old.
[536] who was a very good creative writer, but I've read it on several creepypasta forums.
[537] And although it is a fun story, the one that I read was that there was a girl sitting between two cop -looking guys who looked safe, and then there was a girl between them who looked passed out.
[538] And so she was staying near the bodyguard -looking guys because the thugs, which is also a commentary about race in America.
[539] It's so fucking racist to say that.
[540] But that's kind of the whole lesson.
[541] And then it's like, oh, but you, thought the thugs but then that guy they had a dead body on the subway which is like the first what place you'd go if you had a dead uh teen girl body is straight down to the L train carrier on the subway get down there get a token for her get one for yourself sit down in public and carry her to the fucking carrier down the stairs just carry her on down nobody's noticed no if you if there's a way that you could die her legs to your legs that would be great so it'll just cover it a little bit better.
[542] Oh my God.
[543] I mean, come on.
[544] Stephen.
[545] I had no idea.
[546] No, it's good.
[547] I read it and I was like, oh my God.
[548] Stephen must have grown up with creepy pastas.
[549] Beautiful.
[550] That's amazing.
[551] Well, that's fun.
[552] I mean, we're looking for that too.
[553] Rosemary, we appreciate your input either way.
[554] If you believe it, send it.
[555] Hell yes.
[556] Because that's fun.
[557] But if you're like, here's a creepy pasta, the girls won't.
[558] The girls will like.
[559] You know what I mean?
[560] Send us one if you believe.
[561] I don't know.
[562] You got to be a believer.
[563] Yeah.
[564] No, that's clearly sincere because she was just like, this is fucked up.
[565] Isn't this crazy?
[566] Isn't this fucked up?
[567] That's great.
[568] That's like the, well, we've talked about this urban, urban legends that you hear over and over again where it's like, there's always something like, and the guy said down girl, and it's Lionel Richie and fucking, or Stevie Wonder.
[569] You ever heard that?
[570] No. That's the one that I repeated knowing it was a lie.
[571] I was like on board and tell this fucking weird train of, Lionel Ritchie happen.
[572] There's an urban legend strand, and it's all different, very famous black performers.
[573] So I think the original was like Stevie Wonder with a guide dog in an elevator.
[574] It's the, when you like think about it, it makes absolutely no sense.
[575] We're like, a woman got into an elevator with Stevie Wonder, didn't know it was him, had a guide dog.
[576] At some point, the elevator door closed.
[577] He says, down lady.
[578] She hits the ground.
[579] And then he's like, no, no, I was talking to me. my dog.
[580] Yeah.
[581] So it's a version of that where it's just like people assume people the I'm scared of a black man construct around storytelling.
[582] Right.
[583] Which is very, I would say, 1988.
[584] And look how wrong Iowa, you know, right?
[585] Like.
[586] Uh -huh.
[587] Yeah.
[588] Oh, fuck.
[589] Mother fuck.
[590] I mean, urban legends.
[591] That's what, that's what people repeat things because they, it's a good story.
[592] They like the sound of a good story.
[593] And also a lesson.
[594] The lesson is how dare you judge a person.
[595] I think they want the lesson to be like how dare you judge a person.
[596] Right.
[597] You specifically.
[598] Stop it.
[599] Fucking judging everyone.
[600] Stop it.
[601] I am just, yeah, judgmental is shit.
[602] You are?
[603] I know.
[604] This has been clearly a minisode.
[605] This is the longest minisote of all time.
[606] I don't think it is though.
[607] That's the funny thing.
[608] Is it not?
[609] It feels like forever, Stephen.
[610] It's been 30 minutes.
[611] Oh, a little longer than that.
[612] normal yeah okay you're welcome is that true yeah it's true okay um cut out the middle um just the whole middle i don't know what that means uh thanks for thank you thank you thanks for sending your stuff in we love to read it we do um yeah thank you and stay sexy and don't get murdered Elvis you want a mini cookie okay bye okay bye