--:--
--:--
Full Transcription:
[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Pointing.
[17] Karen's just pointing.
[18] I just like pointing.
[19] Well, hello.
[20] Hey, guys.
[21] Hi, welcome.
[22] Hi, welcome to the Minnesota of My Favorite Murder.
[23] Where we read your hometown murders that you've sent to us to our Gmail account, which is my favorite murder at gmail .com.
[24] And usually, like, 90 % are the freaking best things ever.
[25] Am I being a dick?
[26] No, no, no, because those are good numbers, 10%.
[27] That's a very standard experience.
[28] 10 % of most things suck.
[29] I'm not even mad at that 10%.
[30] They'd just be like, hey, this is my hometown murder.
[31] or then send a link and I'm like, no, I want to hear you get fucking weird.
[32] You got to tell me a story.
[33] Tell me a story.
[34] First person.
[35] First hand.
[36] Well, it doesn't have to be first person.
[37] And it would make people lie.
[38] I murdered someone once.
[39] Listen, I have to confess in an email.
[40] We'll get a confession one day.
[41] We will.
[42] From an anonymous email address?
[43] For your birthday.
[44] June 8th, guys, get ready.
[45] Don't kill someone now so you can confess something.
[46] No, we don't want it all pre -plan like that.
[47] No, no, no, no. That's boring.
[48] That's not the kind of murder she likes anyway.
[49] I refuse.
[50] to read about it.
[51] That's the case.
[52] We'll just ignore your murder.
[53] Oh, so last week we did all hometown murders and one of the murders was by a girl named Mary and she told us that that she listens on her way to work in the morning and because of that her puppy listens to it on the way to work every morning because he comes with her to work every day and then I was like, pictures please and she emailed us pictures of her Labradoodle.
[54] That's like the cutest thing I've ever seen.
[55] And are you going to put them on the Instagram page?
[56] I guess I should.
[57] Yeah, let everybody see that dog.
[58] It made me really happy.
[59] Yes.
[60] She said she attempted to make him a costume for Halloween of a giant teddy bear, but he ate it.
[61] Perfect.
[62] Did she make it out of beef jerky?
[63] Because that is never going to work.
[64] She made it out of a cat.
[65] He also harasses the cat and attempt to be friends, but she barely tolerates him.
[66] thanks for sending that Mary I can't believe there are those I've seen a couple where there's like cat and dogs living together that are just fine I lose my mind how is it possible what do they beat that dog my dogs would never stop barking at there as a cat in my house they would just the instinct is to chase I think it's just a very this is my inner species relationships are my fucking joy okay so like anytime you see animals cuddling just send it to me that aren't that aren't the same animal you like a duck and a goat or friends sure okay dog and cat whatever does a lot of good dog that's pretty hacky though I know but let's get it a llama and a snake let's get interesting I mean I lose my mind two snakes is okay because it's fun all slippery you know how sweet they are cuttling they're so sweet sweet oh somebody actually wrote to us saying they wanted to hear more about my dogs because we talk about your cats all the time and it's why we never talk about your dogs that's because they're fiercely private and they do not want to be involved in this podcast at all I understand yeah they just don't want their lives out there for everybody to see well if we recorded at your house we would talk a lot more about them but we don't record at your house because of them if we recorded at my house we would hear them the entire time and we would be covered in dog hair head to toe.
[67] So it's best.
[68] The way it is as it should be.
[69] Let's get their names a shout out if you want.
[70] Okay.
[71] Sox and bunny.
[72] See, I'm protecting their privacy even now.
[73] George and Frank.
[74] I've actually tweeted pictures of them before.
[75] Because George is some kind of a lab mix that looks really good at the dog park because she's yellow, but then the dog park is all green.
[76] So she's really, it always comes in a really good picture.
[77] picture.
[78] But, you know.
[79] Those are good dog names.
[80] George and Frank.
[81] George and Frank.
[82] George Lopez is her full name.
[83] I love it.
[84] I love it.
[85] Well, one day we'll bring them over here and we'll videotape them trying to murder Ellison and me. You mean the day you move out?
[86] My sister and I just, sorry, but we just talked about, I brought home, I brought Frank home for Christmas last year and made the mistake.
[87] George is the first dog I got.
[88] And then my friend found Frank on the street in Highland Park.
[89] And so I wanted George to have a pet friend.
[90] But Frank is a bit of the streets.
[91] And so I brought him up to Petaluma for Christmas, left him at my sister's house one night while we went to my aunts for Christmas Eve.
[92] Oh, no. And when we came home, he had freaked out so bad that the door jam around the front door, he had basically eaten away half of it.
[93] Holy shit.
[94] And my sister was like, there goes your deposit yeah well she she buy a who I don't know anyone who wants a home so I'm like in my hometown everyone has a house right right but anyway it was hilarious it was like oh I didn't know that about him because he'd never done that in my house because he has a buddy normally no yeah he freaked out dude that's so funny yeah that's awful more stories like this and I mean you asked for it so you got it this has become a cat and dog podcast goodbye sorry can I pet your dog and per cast because we're coming at you um let's do some hometowns okay because i'll tell you that when i opened up our email and it's kind of unfair because these are the this is new i know first page and you find 10 good ones i promise though i'm going to start reading these from the from the bottom up i'm going to do that this week goodbye goodbye um because i don't have a job right now oh cool okay and i am going a little bit crazy for being unemployed it doesn't suit me No, it's not, no, it's not conducive to fucking ADD.
[95] Right.
[96] Or alcoholism.
[97] But I open, I opened my email and here was an email from K that said, head in a portable toilet where I used to play, hometown murder.
[98] Whoa.
[99] Whoa, Elvis.
[100] Elvis likes heads in a portable toilet.
[101] He loves the story.
[102] He's like, I know this one.
[103] Oh my God, I heard about this.
[104] okay hi ladies love the podcast thank you for bringing comedy into a typically dark subject especially post election i know a lot of people appreciate being able to laugh despite the fear of unknown in the next four years that's putting it lightly i mean anyway i have been delaying sharing a hometown murder but after catching up on all the episodes i felt the time was right to share mine i was hoping this subject line would grab your attention while you were fucking exactly right kay I grew up in St. Charles, Missouri, about 20 miles west of St. Louis, a quiet place, not a lot of crime in the late 80s, early 90s.
[105] My grandmother lived near a college, Lindenwood University, and there was a park across the street from her house where my sisters, cousins, and I would play regularly without much supervision.
[106] My mom, typical warrior mom, was always nervous, something would happen to us, while my grandmother was just like, oh, no, nothing can happen here.
[107] And then this.
[108] We were older by the time this murder occurred, but it was scary nonetheless, knowing we used to play where the body was found.
[109] In April of 1998, 13 -year -old Tiffany Sabarin was babysitting her two younger brothers and went missing.
[110] Her headless, nearly nude body was found a few weeks later along the pathway near a pond near the university by a student.
[111] Oh, my God.
[112] A few days later, a few days after her body was found, her head.
[113] was found in a port by a pot a potty nearby.
[114] That's the awfulest.
[115] It's so aggressively.
[116] There's so much rage there.
[117] Just just fucking disrespect and anger.
[118] It's horrible.
[119] Oy.
[120] Bloodhounds were brought in from out of state to tracer sent for clues and led to a shallow pawn nearby where the divers found a bloody bed sheet, flat top sheet.
[121] Wow.
[122] good boy uh yeah right the sheet with frank could never do that um the sheet was shared on the news and a guy who went to the university thought that the sheet looked similar to his roommates white sheets with seagulls cutting through brown circles what a fucking idiot yeah yeah distinctive sheets like stop by ikea and get a fucking pack of they're like one 99 yeah i'm not trying to tell you how to do your job he wasn't a planning i'm not trying to tell you How to do your job of murder.
[123] It wasn't a planner.
[124] Roommate who had disappeared from college, from campus since the murder.
[125] Ding, ding, ding.
[126] So college guy goes back to his dorm and lo and behold, his roommate's flat sheet was missing.
[127] But matching fitted sheet and pillowcases were there.
[128] Police came, caught the guy.
[129] I love this guy.
[130] Which is, right?
[131] Which is a good reminder to always know what kind of sheets your roommates have.
[132] Turns out the murderer, Jason Shipman, was walking by Tiffany's neighborhood.
[133] and invited her to his dorm room.
[134] He was 21 and she was 13.
[135] That's creepy enough.
[136] And apparently she went with him.
[137] They talked and she told him she needed to go back home.
[138] On the way, on the walk back, he slid her throat, raped her and stabbed her.
[139] And he then cut off her head.
[140] Took it to the porta potty nearby.
[141] Got his bed sheet, moved her body to the pond.
[142] This case definitely rocked her quiet town and is a good reminder to don't go to creepy guys dorms with bad sheets.
[143] Well, you can't know what the sheets look like until you get there.
[144] But still, yes.
[145] Now I live in L .A., and if we ever do an L .A. Murderino Meetup, would love to have you wonderful ladies for drinks.
[146] No. I've got some sheets for you.
[147] Could you meet me outside in the parking lot?
[148] Stay sexy, don't get murdered, thanks for being you.
[149] Oh, man. That was amazing.
[150] That was great.
[151] And I think about, and I do think about this sometimes, like, the people I used to talk to when I was younger.
[152] Oh, dude.
[153] Like, psycho, I thought, you know, like, you know when you see the cute, crazy guy, when you're like 17 and he's like older and you love older guys because you don't realize it's fucking creepy if an older guy wants today to 17 year old Yes Like the amount of fucking people I was alone with Yeah And trust and like blindly trusting Because you didn't know the difference No Yeah it's great And also when you're 13 it's that weird age We're like everything gets kind of awkward and ugly And you all your friends And the guys in your class start acting weird Yeah attention from an older guy would be huge it would be amazing yeah and it's it's I would have been so susceptible to that I'm going through my head of like all the times I should have probably been murdered and wasn't just because they didn't murder me that day yeah it should make you feel good oh yeah I feel great um all right hey this is exciting an all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[154] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[155] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[156] Who killed Saz?
[157] And were they really after Charles?
[158] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[159] This season, murder hits close to home.
[160] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[161] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[162] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[163] Who knows what will happen once the game.
[164] cameras start to roll.
[165] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[166] Only murders in the building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[167] Goodbye.
[168] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[169] Absolutely.
[170] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?
[171] Exactly.
[172] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[173] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[174] That's right.
[175] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[176] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[177] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[178] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[179] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[180] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[181] Connect with customers in line and online.
[182] Do retail right with Shopify.
[183] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[184] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[185] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[186] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[187] Goodbye.
[188] This is from Kevin.
[189] Just to make everyone feel better, it's a boring subject, but I like them anyways.
[190] All right.
[191] Wait, what?
[192] It just says Brent Springfield is the title of the subject line.
[193] I thought you meant the murder.
[194] Yeah, no. It's a boring murder.
[195] Let's log through this thing.
[196] I just found your podcast and I'm already obsessed.
[197] I've been a true crime fanatic for ages.
[198] I will watch Snap for hours and hours.
[199] Tell me about it.
[200] I went to college in Tennessee and I'm a guy.
[201] And a guy on my freshman hall had been a close friend of mine.
[202] He was from an affluent family in Alabama.
[203] I just want to say this guy's testing me because he keeps putting just the initials of the fucking state.
[204] And because I'm bad at them.
[205] But I think I'm right so far.
[206] You are.
[207] And also, it's just making you panic.
[208] It is.
[209] It's that moment of you just have the panic, but just ride out the panic and you'll be right.
[210] And no one else can see these letters, only I can.
[211] Yeah, they don't know.
[212] You say any state you want.
[213] It's your word against Kevin.
[214] Sorry.
[215] fucking Kevin.
[216] And we ended up joining the same fraternity.
[217] Freshman year, when he needed a ride to Asheville over Thanksgiving, I took him.
[218] He was an eccentric guy, very new agey, but super nice and seemingly laid back.
[219] Our sophomore year, he basically disappeared.
[220] Later, we learned that he was having mental health issues with some saying that he was diagnosed as bipolar.
[221] He got into Buddhism and met a woman that he started a relationship with.
[222] His parents were paying for everything.
[223] He married this woman and his parents continued sending him money.
[224] Finally, his father felt he was being con and scaled back on the support.
[225] So Brent went home for Thanksgiving and murdered them with an axe and cut their throats.
[226] Oh my God.
[227] Seriously, he was going to kill his sister too, but she happened to not be there as he expected.
[228] He waited four years for a trial and then went to prison where he died supposedly a suicide from Tylenol overdose.
[229] Wait, Tylenol?
[230] Yeah, I don't want to...
[231] Okay, I go, sorry.
[232] We can't talk about Tylenol.
[233] right now because of my murder that we're about to talk about don't oh if this goes up okay um but yeah you can overdose on aspirin and Tylenol oh but how many do you have to take 300 300 probably boring okay someone's suicide no um Karen I know said it was boring no for a while after if my college friends asked what I was doing for a holiday.
[234] The standard response was, well, I'm not going to kill my parents if that's what you're asking.
[235] Google Brent Springford.
[236] There are some good stories that give tons of amazing facts.
[237] Thanks, Kevin.
[238] Kevin.
[239] Brent Springford is his name.
[240] Is the killer.
[241] Yeah.
[242] Um, that poor sister has no family.
[243] That's so tragedy, tragedy, tragedy.
[244] Do you think she ever visited him in jail or prison?
[245] I, you know what?
[246] I mean, would you?
[247] I don't know if I would.
[248] I don't know.
[249] I think I would.
[250] I, that's so hard.
[251] I can't, my sister, I can only picture my sister killing me. Well, yeah, I think, because she's tried many times.
[252] Yes, with a hairbrush.
[253] Right?
[254] She threw it out your head.
[255] My sister threw a Barbie up my head once.
[256] after school it was like the wild west at our house oh my god totally you'd literally be like steal a cracker off somebody's plate and it was on and we would fight for three hours and then your mom would be like can you guys stopping dicks to each other yeah i can't deal with this yeah and you're like cleaning your case and clearly you're right but your mom just does not want to deal with it our thing was because my mom would work and so and my dad was at the firehouse so it was just we were by ourselves.
[257] We were alone for fucking days sometimes when she was dating someone.
[258] I was just like, what the fuck?
[259] What the fuck?
[260] Yeah.
[261] You're still supposed to raise us.
[262] You're still supposed to parent.
[263] But we knew by the time my mom got home from work, we weren't, we couldn't talk about any of it.
[264] So we literally like, you know, have like big swollen faces or like, you know, from crying.
[265] And I'm sure she could tell that the two of you were not near each other.
[266] Yeah.
[267] Oh, God, two daughters.
[268] It was insane.
[269] Yeah.
[270] I'll visit your sister in jail when she kills you.
[271] Oh, thank you.
[272] That would be I would like that.
[273] We'll have a live episode from the prison.
[274] Your sister and I on location.
[275] Karen's murderer.
[276] All right, this next one I picked because it's also a recent one, which is unfair and unjust, but guess what?
[277] That's how the world is.
[278] It's from Andrea, and she has a fascinating looking last name.
[279] I don't know how you.
[280] I don't know how you get your printing in your email to make these shapes.
[281] Is she from Denmark?
[282] She's from Iceland.
[283] Ooh.
[284] Yes.
[285] We've got good ones there.
[286] Yeah.
[287] So, um, I'm excited because when I was in sixth grade, that was my country at the report I had to do, you know, how you do reports on countries.
[288] I got Iceland.
[289] And this was back before the internet or anything.
[290] And Bjork.
[291] And before Bjork, before any of it.
[292] Maybe that's why you do such a good Bjork impression.
[293] Yeah.
[294] it's it's of my heart it's like i grew up with iceland i'll show you look exactly like her so that helps please i wish um but but hang um uh we actually had to go to the travel agency in town to get like pamphlets brochures and shit yes that's how we got information about i remember this right and my friend holly had malta which was even even worse we got the two last countries like everybody got to pick poor baby And your teacher hated you the most, so she picked you last.
[295] No, no, no. It was like, he was drawing names out of a hat.
[296] But Malta, I guess.
[297] Malta, I mean, Malta isn't anything.
[298] But Iceland, I feel very proud because I knew about Iceland.
[299] And then Iceland, like, burst onto the scene, Bjork style.
[300] Now everybody loves Iceland.
[301] Everyone wants to go to Iceland.
[302] And I'm like, well, guess what their gross national product is, motherfuckers.
[303] Bjork.
[304] I can't remember.
[305] It's just Bjork.
[306] Oh, God.
[307] Hold on.
[308] Okay.
[309] Let me piss people off with my mic.
[310] okay go okay so here's this is from andria hi babes see i like that that's good babes is good hi babes so i have a hometown murder for you i live in iceland where uh there there only there are only oh wait she's got an accent in this karen please read it and be your expense just give everyone a fucking treat we need it let me oh my god you guys i'm so excited about it um hi babes so i have a hometown murder for you i live in Iceland, where they're, I bet she's so offended right now.
[311] Andrea, don't be mad at me. Oh, my God.
[312] Where there are a handful of murders, there have only been a handful of murders occurred, and most of them, boring.
[313] Sorry, Iceland.
[314] But there is this one gem that happened in 1982 where two French sisters, Yvette and Marie Luce Boughad, were hitchhiking in the middle of nowhere in the outskirts of Ireland.
[315] Iceland.
[316] You know where this is going.
[317] They got picked up by an Icelandic man. And they were fine.
[318] And everything they went to a hot spring and soaked with an awfully difficult to pronounce name, so I just will spare you the trouble and just call him the man. He told them that he was working with the police department in the area, so of course they trusted him.
[319] They got in and everything seemed normal.
[320] They even stopped at a lake and took some pictures.
[321] He dropped them off at some remote cab help them settle in and leaves.
[322] The sisters go to sleep and everything seems normal.
[323] But sometime between 11 and midnight, the man comes back, wakes them up and tells them that he has been instructed by the police in the area to escort them to the station because they had supposedly been smoking marijuana.
[324] The sisters protest and refuse to leave because they hadn't been smoking.
[325] They later found no evidence that they had ever been smoking in their whole stay in Iceland.
[326] He gets really mad and leaves.
[327] The sisters that are now pretty shooken up, get dressed, and prepare to leave.
[328] Then the man comes back with a shotgun and yells at them to come with him.
[329] Some shit goes down and he ends up hitting one of the sister's Marie Luce.
[330] You know they fought.
[331] That's what fucking went down.
[332] Yeah.
[333] Good girls.
[334] Hits one of them in the head with the gun.
[335] She falls unconscious and the other sister vet flees out the door.
[336] The man follows her and shoots her in the back.
[337] however she somehow gets away from him girl and on to the next road puck we don't really know what happened until a truck driver stumbles upon the man and a vet on the road by the man's car the man tells the driver that he has accidentally hit this young woman with his car and she was now in shock and hysterical if that screams for help and tells the driver tells a truck driver that the man tried to kill her she even tries to climb into his truck but the man the man holds her down.
[338] By the way, her clothes are bloody from her gunshot wounds.
[339] Now get this.
[340] The truck driver believes the man and drives away.
[341] What an idiot.
[342] It's not idiot.
[343] It's, oh, no. Well, I mean, that's what she said.
[344] I know.
[345] That's what she said.
[346] He, however, alerts the authorities, and they go and check out the situation.
[347] And when the police get to the road, they see Marie Luce that had woken up and left the cabin to find help.
[348] She tells them the whole story the next day they find the man's car with his poor French traveler, Yvette, dead in the trunk.
[349] There are no signs of sexual abuse.
[350] She had been shot in the back but ultimately died of her wounds, shock and lack of oxygen in the trunk.
[351] The man was found a while later and got 16 years in prison.
[352] 16?
[353] Yeah.
[354] Years.
[355] What chills me about this story is that the man had no apparent motive.
[356] No one really knows why he showed up to the cabin and what he would have done if Yvette hadn't ran.
[357] Plus, you have to wonder how the truck driver feels, knowing that he probably could have saved her, of course.
[358] Yeah.
[359] It's horrible.
[360] Not probably.
[361] I'm sorry, I'm angry.
[362] Yeah, you're a little fired up.
[363] I am.
[364] No, you're right.
[365] But, I mean, that is the thing of like, he did the easier thing, and now he has to live with it for the rest of his life.
[366] It's horrible.
[367] I know, I know.
[368] Anyway, the man who did this is out and still alive somewhere.
[369] Yikes.
[370] P .S. Absolutely love the podcast.
[371] And even though.
[372] it keeps me awake.
[373] I still listen to the old episodes every night.
[374] Keep up the good work.
[375] Oh, thank you.
[376] Thank you, Andrea.
[377] That was horrifying.
[378] That one made me sad.
[379] That's rough.
[380] I mean, that's just so...
[381] It's like the strangers where it's just like, oh, we're being tacked for no reason.
[382] Yeah.
[383] Out in the middle of...
[384] I've never seen that or read it.
[385] I know.
[386] Is it the ones of the bags over their heads?
[387] Yeah.
[388] I know.
[389] I've never seen it.
[390] I don't know why.
[391] It is.
[392] So it's shot so perfectly for a horror movie.
[393] Like, it's really, really good.
[394] Vince won't watch scary movies with me. He's like not into horror movies.
[395] So I don't really have chances to watch them very often on my own.
[396] I tried to make him watch.
[397] What's the, oh, forget, I'm not going to remember.
[398] And he wasn't into it.
[399] Too scary, Rosemary's baby?
[400] No, I love that one.
[401] New or old.
[402] That one he can watch.
[403] It's newer, it's, oh, it's called Time Something.
[404] A Time to Kill.
[405] No. With Ashley Judd.
[406] No, that's a good one, though.
[407] Kiss the girls Kiss the girls Kissed the girl No The Ashley Judd Morgan Freeman Film series Where for some reason They continually get matched up And are in movies together All throughout the 90s But I love them both It's called time something And I think it's a French thing There you go And it's super scary It's like thriller scary Stephen's looking for it Time something French time It's called Crescent Time It's called in a New York minute It's Mary Kate and Ashley Olson it's great should I do one more I'm donezies I was just gonna tell you when I saw the strangers in the theater there was one part that was so scary the entire audience screamed and it scared me really bad I'm screaming are you sure they just sneeze together I'm positive because as much as I've been to horror movies that never happens where the entire audience screams that's in a commercial for like the horror movie and it really happened during that movie time crimes time crime Right, Stephen?
[408] Is that right?
[409] I'm still...
[410] Look up time crime.
[411] Time crimes.
[412] What's...
[413] Time crimes?
[414] Time cop.
[415] You're talking about time cop.
[416] John Claude Van Damien?
[417] Yep, that's the one.
[418] He jumps in between the counter.
[419] He's terrified of John Cloud Van Damme.
[420] And time.
[421] Time traveling thriller opens with Hector Spying and a beautiful woman and dressing in the woods.
[422] He finds her assaulted.
[423] He, in turn, is attacked by a man whose head is swabbed and bandages.
[424] Yes, it's good.
[425] Oof.
[426] That all means something.
[427] time crime it's fucking good it's like a thriller it's like you know what it reminds me of it reminds me of um i'm doing black mirror the HBO like scary as fuck thing yeah or Netflix goodbye all right last one this one is by cassie my hometown murder lust drugs and murder yes my fiance grew up in a small town in southern California where everyone knew each other in order to get to school his neighbor would occasionally drive him and my fiancee was in high school one of his female classmates went missing and no one could find her for a few months.
[428] One day while working in the orange orchards, a migrant worker found her body dumped in a ditch.
[429] Man, those were all around my fucking town.
[430] Orange orchards?
[431] No, bodies dumped in ditching.
[432] Yes, orange orchards.
[433] I'm sorry.
[434] Oh, God.
[435] That was painful.
[436] Evidence found that she had been raped and strangled.
[437] The evidence from the DNA test indicated that my fiancé's neighbor had been the one who raped and strangled her.
[438] The one that was driving him to school?
[439] I think so, yes.
[440] The man ended up confessing to her murder and stated he was in love with her, but she had rejected him.
[441] In a fit of rage after going on a meth binge, hey, Orange County.
[442] Hey.
[443] He killed her and then raped her.
[444] Oh, that's a bad fucking timeline.
[445] After learning that his neighbor was the killer, my fiancé realized that the neighbor had driven him to school several times since then.
[446] Oh, shit.
[447] She had driven my fiance in the van that he killed.
[448] Hilled the girl in and used to dump her body.
[449] Wait a second.
[450] Were there other...
[451] Oh, you wouldn't know?
[452] What?
[453] People in the...
[454] It sounds like he's just being driven to school by a man in a van.
[455] Yeah, it does.
[456] Like, it just...
[457] It does.
[458] I'm going to go drive the boy to school.
[459] Sounds about right.
[460] I'm so hard.
[461] Yeah, but...
[462] Southern California.
[463] You trust her stupid neighbor.
[464] Yeah.
[465] Man. This probably was in the 90s, right?
[466] Like, you just do shit.
[467] Yeah.
[468] Needless to say, my fiancé was thoroughly creeped out, Cassie.
[469] Thanks Cassio Cassio keyboard What up I have a really long one For next time It's a good one I have follow -out questions For Cassie I want to ask them Maybe she'll And ask for a picture of a dog I want to know If you please ask your fiancé Were there I think it's old Because when I grew up In Orange County In Southern California The Orange Orchards Went away To build bullshit Fucking McMansions And shopping centers in like, like, 96 was the last time there was like an orchard.
[470] So I bet you it's before that when you just like got a ride from your neighbor and maybe he bought you beers on the weekends once in a while, you know what I mean?
[471] I know, but is, are there parents in this situation?
[472] Like, is this an orphan boy that's just trying to make, get his way to school everything?
[473] It doesn't make sense that a man in a van just drives one child to school.
[474] So, like, everyone thinks they know him.
[475] Yes, true, true.
[476] I mean, horrifying.
[477] Maybe his friends were with him, too.
[478] It's like, that's what I want to know.
[479] Kassie, you're the only one that can solve this mystery for us.
[480] Deets.
[481] Karen's requesting deets.
[482] I want to know if there's other children.
[483] It's because that would be so creepy if it was just him.
[484] Oh, my God.
[485] Like, he's basically like a miracle for even being alive.
[486] Whoa.
[487] Wow.
[488] Wow.
[489] I can respond to her right now.
[490] Do you want to write this together real quick?
[491] A response?
[492] Take this down.
[493] do you make a concern I pull up my stenography machine for my court 40 days and just start fucking tippity tabbing away Yes I'll get this thing written in two seconds Are we good?
[494] I think so how much time is that?
[495] That was long It's been about 30 minutes Oh That's 10 bonus minutes Right?
[496] I never go 20 minutes We always go at least 30 35 It's just so fun Yeah it's fun And then we riff It's just a lot of super superfluous fucking riffing.
[497] Is it superfluous, though?
[498] No. It's superfluous.
[499] It's abundantly superfluous.
[500] I don't know.
[501] You do know.
[502] You know.
[503] Thank you for being confident of me. I believe in you, Georgia.
[504] Thank you, Karen.
[505] High five.
[506] Will we reach it?
[507] Probably not.
[508] Wait, wait.
[509] It sounded great.
[510] Should we give Elvis a mini cookie?
[511] Yes, we should.
[512] Stay sexy.
[513] Don't get murdered.
[514] Bye.