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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Welcome to my favorite murder minisered number...
[17] 16?
[18] That's right, Georgia, 16.
[19] What did you do for your 16th birthday?
[20] Oh, my mom threw me a surprise party.
[21] That was actually fun.
[22] That's cute.
[23] And then we were at my house, and then we all, it was a bunch of people from my school, and then we all watched Friday the 13th that night.
[24] That sounds amazing.
[25] Turned the lights out, watched a scary movie.
[26] Was it a real, like, I've never known anyone who has been like, And it was a surprise.
[27] Or I was like, I planned my surprise party or I pretended that I didn't know about it.
[28] No, my mom was so good that she faked a fight beforehand.
[29] So I didn't even suspect.
[30] I can't do that.
[31] There was any possibility.
[32] It was like this thing of like, at one point I was like, well, I just would like to make a plan of some kind.
[33] And she was like, she was like, well, I wish you weren't so selfish.
[34] And like this thing where I was like, whoa, that was weird.
[35] Like it kind of made me uncomfortable.
[36] I was like, we're now in a weird area where you've never.
[37] birthday attacked me before and then she did it for the setup where I really wouldn't expect anything when I got home I threw Allie a surprise party a couple years ago and like I'm so bad at I'm so bad at secrets like I just don't have any clearly I've told everything in my life on a podcast so like I couldn't see her before it and so she'd give it away yeah yeah so she spent her entire birthday alone and got really depressed oh no and no one would go out like no one was like do you want to go to lunch because everyone was like, yeah, we're going to see her tonight at the surprise party.
[38] And she got, like, super depressed.
[39] Oh, no, it was like she felt like she's being iced out.
[40] Yeah, but really, I was like, no, I'm throwing you a big surprise party with all your friends.
[41] And then we were, I was like, we were pretending to go to dinner a couple of the girls.
[42] And so we were like waiting in, hiding in the driveway to like surprise for when they pulled up.
[43] And the car pulled up.
[44] And we had like silly string and all these poppers.
[45] And we attacked the car.
[46] And it wasn't her.
[47] No. My neighbor was my neighbor.
[48] Oh, no. And she was so freak the fuck out.
[49] Yeah, I bet she was.
[50] So I'm real good at stuff.
[51] Silly string.
[52] Yay, yeah, right.
[53] And she had a dog in her car.
[54] The dog was like losing its mind.
[55] That's hilarious.
[56] But then was it a good surprise once?
[57] It was the real surprise.
[58] Oh, good.
[59] She cried.
[60] Thank God.
[61] That's all you want.
[62] Yep.
[63] You need real tears and you know you did a good job.
[64] You know?
[65] Anyways, please email us with your 16 -year -old memories.
[66] who doesn't want to hear about those.
[67] I bored myself one sentence into my own recounting.
[68] I loved it.
[69] I think it's sweet because it's like a sweet memory of your mom and like a nice thing she did and like...
[70] It's also that thing.
[71] Well, here's what I really remember that I wasn't saying is I was wearing this two -piece esprit, like blazer pants suit thing because I had a speech meet that day.
[72] I don't know what that is.
[73] I wish I could find Esprit, the brand a spree.
[74] No, a speech meat.
[75] Oh, oh.
[76] A speech meat is like when you go, oh, my God.
[77] Don't make me explain it.
[78] It's for nerds.
[79] It's basically like drama department when you don't have a drama department.
[80] So you go do like a humorous interpretation or dramatic interpretation.
[81] It's like a more artistic debate.
[82] It's free.
[83] I can't picture you in anything but full goth.
[84] Dude, the reason I wear my no patterns, no colors is because I would do things in high school that I'm still cringing over to this day.
[85] And this is free, two piece, white, with black.
[86] and peach colored triangles all over it.
[87] Like, I looked like I was like the saxophone player in like a bad band.
[88] It was rough.
[89] So when you said Barbara from Stranger Things cosplay as a receptionist, an 80s receptionist, it's because you knew what you were talking about.
[90] I know exactly what I was talking about.
[91] Wow.
[92] And she was, that was like earlier 80s, but I was later 80s where everybody was feeling it where it's like, everyone was trying to look like, pardon me, Pat Benatar in that video where she escapes to go be a dance.
[93] A paid dancer And a dance Dancing with Men Club So everything's torn Like I had a lot of outfits that I tried to make it look like People were grabbing my clothes As I ran out of a I don't know pit Like you were being actively assaulted Yes All the time Shred shred shred shred and then Oh I guess I'm here at the dance Like you look at my hair A fumble Oh my A fumble I made that up just now A fumble That's my new word I love it Yeah You know who my style icon was Even though I didn't It was Kelly Bundy.
[94] Oh, yeah.
[95] So some nice bicycle pants?
[96] Yeah, like tie it as, you know.
[97] Sure.
[98] Boring, go on.
[99] No, I love it.
[100] Or, um, go, yeah, go.
[101] You don't want to, you can't even visit it, right?
[102] I'm going to go to a bunch of shit, like, boring things that nobody knows about.
[103] And that are also painful.
[104] And that are painful.
[105] Let's talk about the hair really quick.
[106] Okay.
[107] Your hair at that time.
[108] At 16?
[109] At Kelly Bundy time.
[110] So 16.
[111] Yeah.
[112] Okay, let's say 16.
[113] Well, I was going to rave, so I crimped my pigtails.
[114] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[115] And then I sprayed their shit out of it with body glitter.
[116] Oh.
[117] So.
[118] Like, this is a day look.
[119] This is going to school or nighttime?
[120] Yeah, probably day look too.
[121] Because I wanted to be like, nobody better fuck with me. Yeah, that's right.
[122] That's how you show them as glitter.
[123] Yeah, like, look what I do on the weekends.
[124] I'll hang out with you idiots.
[125] I'm fucking keggers and shit.
[126] Bye.
[127] No way.
[128] You're going to raves.
[129] Crimping.
[130] I mean, there's photos out there.
[131] Crimped pig tails.
[132] Crimped is mass. That's mass. massive.
[133] Were they long?
[134] Pigtails or a little shorty one.
[135] Then they were long.
[136] Yeah.
[137] So I crimped a shit out of them.
[138] Sprayed the fucking hell out of them with glitter.
[139] If you went to school at Georgia and you have a picture of those crimped pigtails, we will pay up to $50 for you to post them on social media.
[140] I'll do it myself.
[141] Okay.
[142] Give me 50 bucks.
[143] No. My sister's like going through her photos.
[144] Finally, that money.
[145] I have no money.
[146] Should we read a hometown?
[147] I think we should.
[148] That's the point.
[149] No, let's keep going.
[150] Let's not go.
[151] Let's not keep going.
[152] Let's not go.
[153] Let's never go back.
[154] Okay.
[155] Do you go first?
[156] Do you want me to go first?
[157] I want me to go first.
[158] I have the paper in my hand.
[159] Okay.
[160] This first one is from Claire.
[161] It's from last March.
[162] And it says, the subject line is just my hometown murder.
[163] So this is a person that's just about the basics.
[164] She's like no bullshit.
[165] Here, I'm doing what you asked me to do.
[166] Claire says, hi ladies.
[167] Absolutely love the podcast.
[168] Although I listen to the the current episode before bed last night, so had no sleep.
[169] Oh, that's good.
[170] I thought she was going to be like, so you guys need to stop being stupid idiots.
[171] It would be kind of great to start one of these with just a list of criticisms, but then go into hometown.
[172] Stephen would never give us those because you know he would fall apart.
[173] Oh, that's right.
[174] These are all pre -read.
[175] Yeah, Stephen's like delete, delete, delete.
[176] Too fragile.
[177] I just wanted to share with you guys my hometown murder smiley face, typing smiley face.
[178] Oh, Claire.
[179] I like her.
[180] she's like your friend that you can go to no matter what that's right um claire i live in a little old new zeal in little old new zealand claire and one of the most famous uh and what the fuck murders um has to be the crew family c r ewe murders in 1970 harvey and jeanette crew were farmers who were shot dead in their home then dumped in a river at a spot called devil's elbow why take them away from I just not leave them.
[181] Well, they needed to be dumped.
[182] They needed to be.
[183] There must have been some kind of...
[184] And weighed down with a car axle.
[185] Why that?
[186] Because it's someone they know.
[187] They want to hide the bodies.
[188] But want to hear this?
[189] Well, it actually says, the weird bit, question mark.
[190] They had an 18 -month -old daughter, Rochelle, who was alive in the house and was found about five days after the murders.
[191] Someone had been going in and feeding and changing her.
[192] her diaper the whole time.
[193] What in the fucking fuck?
[194] What in the fuck?
[195] All of the fucks.
[196] Here's my immediate theory.
[197] Yeah.
[198] They didn't mean to have to shoot them.
[199] That's why they hid the bodies they thought was by weighing them down in a river.
[200] But they didn't, they weren't going to kill that baby, which means like to support my accidental theory of like maybe burglars that were trying to get drug money or something.
[201] Or they knew too much.
[202] one of the people wanted to leave that baby and the other person like we can't leave the baby and maybe one of them was like said to their girlfriend hey like this family needs our help like just and like so the person who was changing the baby and feeding the baby didn't even know that they were dead just thought it was supposed to come in and do these things oh they're just like an outside hire yeah just like could you do me a favor they're gonna be gone during the day which like you could do when you're in the 70s you leave your fucking baby for a little while they just need someone to come in once a day and feed the baby and change the diaper my baby's gonna hang out do not by herself this week right right because she's got some stuff to do, but I have to go to work.
[203] Whatever you do, don't open the blood -soaked pantry.
[204] Yeah, but otherwise.
[205] Swing by.
[206] Change that diaper.
[207] Like if you're hungry, have a snack out of the fridge.
[208] Hang out with Rochelle if you want to.
[209] Yeah.
[210] No biggie.
[211] All right.
[212] There's more.
[213] Okay.
[214] Arthur Allen Thomas was convicted of the murders twice before being acquitted after serving nine years.
[215] It turns out the police had planted the evidence.
[216] Nobody else had been charged, but there are whispers that Jeanette's father had something to do with it.
[217] Her own dad?
[218] Oh, that's weird.
[219] My mom has a laundry, which would make sense if it's the grandfather.
[220] Why he would fucking take care of the grandchild?
[221] But then why don't just take that baby?
[222] Because then it would be.
[223] My mom has a laundry basket weaved by Arthur Allen Tom.
[224] Oh dear.
[225] Well, while he was in prison because, you know, she is just as weird as me. Little old New Zealand, we don't have many murders, but when we do, we do them properly.
[226] Claire.
[227] Properly.
[228] Claire.
[229] Claire, we're coming in New Zealand.
[230] and Claire, we're staying with you.
[231] I just picture Claire spinning on like a grassy hill right now.
[232] Like a beautiful fabric, like flowery dress.
[233] But it's like a sensible dress.
[234] Yes.
[235] It's not like a fussy dress.
[236] No, no, no. It's something she can walk around and maybe run if need be.
[237] Yeah, she's just trying to look feminine, but she doesn't want to be like, you know, fussy.
[238] Right.
[239] She's not going to be like, look at me. Yeah.
[240] It's just like, well, I'm wearing a dress.
[241] I'm spinning on a hill.
[242] Okay.
[243] All right.
[244] So you want to hear, Papa and the hoe.
[245] yeah you do yeah okay they they wrote papa what's p -a -p -a -w papa and the quote ho h -o here's what i have a problem with okay when you mean ho but maybe he does mean ho yep i see the word yard in this i haven't read it and the quote ho h -e everyone should know that if you mean like a bitch in a hoe like h -o -you mean h -o not like h -o -e yes and if you mean ho ho ho like santa claus h o the h o the h o the h o e is like ho is like ho is like a garden tool which i think is about to happen okay okay papa and the hoe quote ho so i was sitting at the bar drinking a beverage and in popped my and in popped my head was the memory of how my papa aka grandfather all caps murdered his best friend no yep so our family has a farm just outside of dallas texas fucking first problem that's right when i was a teenager year we traveled around a lot so my grandfather and his friend quote sarge ran the farm oh his friend sarge sarge is one of those weathery old skinny old preserved in whiskey kind of guys with a heart of gold i love him i remember his trailer being covered in bottle caps and cigarette butts but he also made a cute playhouse and painted pink flowers on it just so on it so he was a softy at heart so a little background on their friendship, they bickered a lot, just about any little thing.
[246] One, I was sandwiched in, and once I was sandwiched in an old pickup truck between them bickering about a septic tank, how's you do?
[247] However, they were friends forever, so nothing really got too fighty.
[248] So fast forward a few years, and we get a call, quote, Sarge is dead.
[249] My dad asked what happened, and my grandfather said it was an accident.
[250] My dad immediately flew back home to find out what happened and as it turns out the two old pals were bickering once again for some reason sarge got out of the car and then boom my grandfather ran him over and now he's dead what he snapped yeah realizing what had happened my grandfather ran to the neighbor's yard and claimed sarge had come at him with a hoe oh the neighbors came over and saw dead sarge but surprise surprise no hoe i don't know when he was able to get this by that but by the time the police came a hoe miraculously appeared next to SARS.
[251] Sure.
[252] My grandfather was never charged and I had a continue living life like it had never happened which I always felt weird about because I was hugging a murderer every Christmas and Thanksgiving.
[253] My dad and all his friends did a really cool Viking style sent off for sergeant set his trailer on fire and watched it burn while drinking a few shots in his honor.
[254] Oh shit.
[255] Right this.
[256] Stephen, write this down.
[257] This is how I want to go.
[258] Oh, use that one pen.
[259] Light this apartment on fire.
[260] Please.
[261] But wait, was Sargent side the trailer?
[262] Because that's the real Viking pyre.
[263] That is not clear.
[264] Okay.
[265] I'd be intense.
[266] I mean, is that legal?
[267] I don't think so.
[268] I think you have to have a permit to, like, dispose of a body.
[269] You definitely have to talk to the city before you do anything.
[270] I mean, if they weren't going to fucking convict this grandfather, they were also like, well, but also.
[271] I mean, here's what I love.
[272] She doesn't give him the benefit of the doubt at all.
[273] all.
[274] It just like he did it.
[275] Like a hoe appeared.
[276] It wasn't like, so many of the neighbors were like, yeah, there was never a hoe.
[277] What if it rolled off to the side?
[278] What if got stuck in the grill of the truck that he had just hit him?
[279] Like, you know, it's like a hoe versus a, like a truck.
[280] I mean, you just got to take care of business though.
[281] If someone's coming at you with a hoe, just get into a vehicle.
[282] Yeah.
[283] Smash.
[284] You got to.
[285] Do you ever wonder like, this makes me think about those like, those couples you see that bigger all the time.
[286] You're like, oh, they're just, you know, they do this and it's cute and back and forth, and then one of them killed, like, not this has happened to me, but like you, like, if one of them killed the other one, it wouldn't be as, like, charmingly bickery?
[287] No, that's where the charm would end.
[288] I don't think, how awkward is it when, like, a couple, you know, is, like, bickering, like, cutely, but you're like, I never think it's cute.
[289] Well, you know why, my parents, they think it's cute.
[290] Well, do they?
[291] Or can they just not help it?
[292] I think they can't show love to each other in public because it creeps them out.
[293] Either that or they don't love each other that much, and they want to get out.
[294] but they can't figure out how to and they feel stuck and they blame the other person for their stuckness.
[295] Oh, no. No, I have not been through that.
[296] Did you, I didn't want to ask.
[297] Did you guys do that?
[298] You and your ex?
[299] No, no, never.
[300] Okay.
[301] You would understand that what I would, like, that's what I would mean.
[302] I have had, I've had data guys where we fought a lot, but I think that was just when I was still drinking and I thought, I really like fighting and I think it's so much fun.
[303] It's fun and it's like a way to engage and get a, very intense direct attention.
[304] Especially when it's not fighting, it's just like this cool argument of like, like, who do you think did it?
[305] And it's like, who killed who?
[306] And you're like, no, because this, it's like not, I'm not calling you a stupid fucking idiot.
[307] I'm just like having fun.
[308] It's debate.
[309] It's debate.
[310] It's the difference between bickering and debate.
[311] Because there's, to me, bickering is like, you can't do anything right.
[312] And the person has to say it out loud in front of other people.
[313] And you make them feel stupid.
[314] Both of you are trying to make the other look and feel stupid.
[315] You know the intent.
[316] Like when you're on couples who just kind of of don't like each other no fun oh my god oh my god oh my god no it's not cool i love it okay uh should i finish what is this podcast i don't know we were gonna go on what are we doing where are we what's happening we've moved apartments why are we still doing this like we can be done we're like out of our element we're in a brand new spot yeah i haven't painted everything fucking see foam green yet's right so it just don't know feels off yeah okay so Shots in his honor.
[317] That's when my home, that, well, that's my hometown murder.
[318] I hope you guys enjoy.
[319] P .S. Uh -oh.
[320] Shout out to Stephen.
[321] He was one of the first people I met when I moved to the U .S. over from New Zealand.
[322] I couch surf with this girl I met.
[323] This girl met him at a party and moved, nope, and had a bond over Kiwiland and now murder ever since.
[324] Do you remember him soon?
[325] I do, I do.
[326] And also I studied abroad to New Zealand.
[327] Oh, shit.
[328] I'm very partial to, like, Kiwi murders because it's such a empty country where...
[329] Coined as fuck.
[330] Yeah, it's coin as...
[331] And it's like the country's bigger than California, but has less than, I think, six million people.
[332] Oh, wow.
[333] Which is like, L .A. has, like, 12 million people.
[334] Yeah.
[335] Is it really, like, charming and cute?
[336] My sister went there once.
[337] Yeah, it's, I mean, it's beautiful.
[338] And there's no people there, so it's great.
[339] Karen.
[340] That's amazing.
[341] Stephen.
[342] Let's move there now.
[343] I like this idea that Stephen would pick a hometown murder that then would draw something out of Stephen that we get to learn.
[344] Like, well, I would have never known.
[345] I certainly would never have asked.
[346] Then we get to know it.
[347] Good call, Stephen.
[348] Everyone should be a little bit about you.
[349] I don't think this is buried so deep, though, that I don't think you would have done that on purpose.
[350] No, let's pretend everyone's about him.
[351] And then so we're going to turn everyone and then be like, what is it, Stephen?
[352] Steven's like, well, I want you to call me Sarge from now.
[353] People are going to do that.
[354] I mean, they better.
[355] Stephen Sarge Ray Morris from now on.
[356] Sarge Ray Morris.
[357] Wait, please note I stayed sexy and didn't get murdered even though I will put myself in a potentially high -risk murdery couch surfing situation and came out of a lovely Hitler -moustached friend.
[358] Nice.
[359] That's right.
[360] Clearly he didn't want.
[361] I can't wait to see you guys in Austin.
[362] Is it Ensonia?
[363] Yeah, that's how you say it.
[364] Did I say that right?
[365] Ensonia.
[366] Ensonia.
[367] That's a beautiful name.
[368] She said that recently.
[369] Okay.
[370] Good job.
[371] Love it.
[372] That was good.
[373] Thank you.
[374] And Sonia.
[375] let's see where's the other one I did oh here it is again my hometown murder just the basics you know what sometimes you don't need a fucking fro yeah maybe that's how we're going to be for 2017 and we don't even know it you know what this is it's not putting a fucking parsley garnish on it you're just like here's my fucking dish yeah I don't need to slice up oranges for you no you don't need you're not going to eat it we know you don't fucking eat it's right you always push it off and put it on the table anyway.
[376] Because you know why?
[377] There's fingers all over, like haven't been touching it.
[378] Fingers and also I'm eating scrabbled eggs.
[379] I don't want orange in it.
[380] Nobody does.
[381] Except you're like your dad, your old dad.
[382] Your weird old dad.
[383] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[384] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[385] Absolutely.
[386] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[387] Exactly.
[388] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[389] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[390] That's right.
[391] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[392] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[393] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[394] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[395] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[396] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can't too.
[397] Connect with customers in line and online.
[398] Do retail right with Shopify.
[399] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[400] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[401] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[402] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[403] Goodbye.
[404] Hey, this is exciting.
[405] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[406] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster to But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[407] Who killed Saz?
[408] And were they really after Charles?
[409] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[410] This season murder hits close to home.
[411] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[412] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[413] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[414] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[415] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[416] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[417] Goodbye.
[418] Hi, Karen and Georgia.
[419] I'm happy to share the story of my favorite hometown murder.
[420] It's a weird one.
[421] It took place in 1999 in Jackson, Michigan.
[422] I just like the start.
[423] I'm happy to share my story.
[424] Aren't we all?
[425] He's like, I've been waiting since 1999 to share my story.
[426] Check your fucking email.
[427] A guy named Kip ran a restaurant called Kip's Tacos.
[428] All of it.
[429] That's it.
[430] Let's go to the next one.
[431] Oh, my God.
[432] If the Taco Meat was a body, I will cry.
[433] Any time we laugh like this at the top, it turns on us.
[434] Yeah, it's so hard.
[435] Oh, that's depressing.
[436] Just the name Kip's Tacos is like something I would make up and try to put into a script.
[437] I'm just saying.
[438] It's a really like.
[439] This whole podcast is something you'd put in a script and be like, just kidding.
[440] It kind of is.
[441] But Kip's Tacos is like, what's a wider name than Kip?
[442] And it's like, oh, so Kip made the tacos?
[443] Yeah, don't go get Kip's tacos.
[444] So Kip cut up hot dogs and some Velvita and stuck it in an old shell?
[445] Kip made tacos twice at like a cookout and everyone was like, yeah, Kip, you should open a taco place.
[446] And it's like, all right.
[447] And it's okay, fine.
[448] It's either that or be an accountant.
[449] Okay, go ahead.
[450] Sorry.
[451] We're going to regret saying all of that.
[452] I know, I know.
[453] A guy named Kip ran a restaurant called Kip's Tocos with his wife, Patricia.
[454] One day he apparently looked up at.
[455] her thought she was the devil.
[456] Oh dear.
[457] And beat her to death with a pipe.
[458] Whoa.
[459] See?
[460] That's not funny.
[461] Out of nowhere.
[462] Then he chopped up the, oh, girl.
[463] Did he cook her?
[464] Well, then he chopped up the body and cooked parts of it in the restaurant's kitchen.
[465] Yep.
[466] I see Kip's tacos are not funny anymore.
[467] I mean, but were we wrong?
[468] No. Were we wrong?
[469] Did not eat a place called Kip's Tock.
[470] Yeah.
[471] I mean, it's, you've just got to go with like, if it's a taco place, how many people of Latin descent are inside of that place, that's where you go.
[472] And don't give me, like, well, tacos are Americanized now.
[473] It's like, well, no. No, you don't got to do that.
[474] No way.
[475] I don't remember there being any evidence that he ate her, and luckily, no one else did either.
[476] That's really good news.
[477] The restaurant was being, the restaurant was closed at the time because Kip was recovering from brain surgery.
[478] Oh, my God.
[479] He'd had a major blood clot removed a week or so before the murder.
[480] They fucked with his brain.
[481] The police caught him two days later when he was spotted.
[482] spotted leaving his wife's severed head in a box on the neighbor's porch.
[483] They fucking pokey -poked out some fucking major part of that thing.
[484] At the original trial, his defense claimed temporary insanity caused by the brain surgery.
[485] I buy it.
[486] I buy it too.
[487] The jury didn't buy it.
[488] He literally says that the next line.
[489] The jury didn't buy it.
[490] He was convicted of murder.
[491] Not laughing at that.
[492] Many years later, he appealed with a new defense of what do you think it might have been brain problems no it's not brain it's something else taco crazy what's taco related that you that could make you maybe a little crazy but also it was stupid defense tortilla I don't know what marijuana induced psychosis it's so stupid I don't know if you eat a lot of tacos at you're high yeah marijuana induced that's not a thing he tried to go with the fucking, you just had brain surgery.
[493] The brain surgery.
[494] Everyone who smokes pot is like chill as fuck.
[495] They will not kill.
[496] No. They will eat your tacos.
[497] Sure.
[498] That's all.
[499] Yeah.
[500] So it's many years later he appealed with a new defense of marijuana induced psychosis.
[501] He never got a new trial and remains in prison.
[502] Kipp's tacos sat vacant for several years after the murder, I would imagine.
[503] Eventually, the building was sold and the new owners auctioned off the equipment.
[504] Not sure how that's ethical or legal.
[505] It's now called Steve's tacos.
[506] it's not called chips tacos at least that's like you can get some chip you get free chips with it you know what you mean well and also what kind of fucking have you been to these places that like charge for chips and salsa don't come at me yes absorb it into the price of the tacos here's the thing if it's absorbed in they'll give you like 11 chips oh but if you say I'm I'm fine paying they will give you 400 400 yes it's like I've had like an entire bad I was like, I just want to decide to make sure that I kind of got to eat a couple chips too many.
[507] Like in between and like to clean up the taco.
[508] Get some of that salsa bar or whatever.
[509] But then, no, you can eat chips for like two weeks if you'll pay $1 .25.
[510] And you'll do it.
[511] And you'll do it.
[512] You know, my grandma used to make me go get her, you know, those like wonton crackers, they have it like good Chinese places that you get before the food comes and you dip them in like sweet and sour and mustard.
[513] I'd get her those just for Hanukkah, like a bag of those because she was so, so tough.
[514] You mean like a big full bag?
[515] Yeah, I go there and I'd like, can I get?
[516] And they loved her there and they were like, yeah, it'll cost a buck.
[517] And I'm like, great, give me eight of them.
[518] And just bring them home for her.
[519] That's a really good.
[520] That's such a treat because you would never have it.
[521] But they would like, they would withstand the journey.
[522] Yeah.
[523] Those would be good for days.
[524] They were great.
[525] We had her funeral party.
[526] Yeah.
[527] Is that a thing?
[528] Awake.
[529] Foo's Palace, everyone.
[530] If you're in L .A., best fucking Chinese food.
[531] Fooz Palace?
[532] Yeah.
[533] Oh, no. I've never heard of that.
[534] Pekone Robertson's like an old school Chinese place to make.
[535] I once made my friend for his birthday because he really loved bacon.
[536] This was back before bacon was like a trend and people talked about it on fucking tumbler all the time.
[537] I made him a bag of bacon.
[538] So it was just like, I just made like, I think two packages of bacon and stuck it in a brown bag.
[539] And I was like, happy birthday.
[540] And he was so, like, no one had gotten him that before it was he was stoked it was exactly what he wanted that's adorable yeah i love that thank you me too i was very proud of that gift and how happy at me i should like request from you oh i will observe your behaviors and i will give you a thing that you don't realize you want a bag of bag of cats um thank you okay hated you from then on okay okay one more all right i was friends with my my hometown murderer.
[541] Hi, Karen, and Georgia.
[542] I just started listening to your podcast recently at the suggestion of my sister.
[543] Sisters.
[544] Every time, sisters are doing it for each other.
[545] And I love it.
[546] I think that you ladies are too funny.
[547] I did a spit take while listening to your first episode when the phrase, quote, murder cuddlefish was used.
[548] What?
[549] That had to be you because I don't know.
[550] I have no idea what that meant.
[551] My hometown murder story is about a friend that I had throughout elementary and junior high the entirety of these events took place in my hometown of calgary alberta i was pretty good friends with this girl particularly in seventh and eighth grade her name is shelby herchack she had she and i had several classes together i'm assuming she's the murder if she gave me her name or the deceased yes several classes together shared many sleepovers we live somewhat close and saw each other quite often we ended up going to different high schools and quickly fell out of touch in 2010 when shelby was 18, she had a baby.
[552] A littleist in a month after giving birth, Shelby killed her baby.
[553] No, Shelby.
[554] She had gone out to a club that evening and gotten pretty drunk for someone who recently gave birth.
[555] Initially, do you get drunk when you give birth?
[556] I guess you have a lower tolerance because you haven't had a drink ideally in nine months?
[557] Although it's a whole month later.
[558] I just don't know.
[559] I feel like three days later, I'd be like, all right, let's clear all this out.
[560] Although, no, actually, because you have to, I think you can't drink that much because of nursing, right?
[561] Well, you can still pump and, I don't think that affects.
[562] We have no idea what we're talking.
[563] I mean, I've never, I mean, this thing is sewn up.
[564] Like, it's not fucking happening.
[565] Like Annie Sprinkle?
[566] It just sewed that thing up.
[567] Yeah, just like later days to my womb.
[568] Da -da -da -da -da -da, kill a baby, got in pretty drunk for some.
[569] Initially, she posted on Facebook that her son had had a seizure and died naturally, which is why you don't post these things on Facebook.
[570] You don't have to explain to Facebook anything, ever.
[571] You just have to remember that, please.
[572] Everyone.
[573] A couple days later, she was arrested.
[574] The doctors who examined the baby determined that he had died of blunt force trauma, and then he was also recovering from a previous head injury.
[575] Okay, so she was not handling it.
[576] Monster.
[577] In court, she claimed that a friend's dog had knocked the baby a few weeks prior.
[578] The court had none of her shenanigans and gave her five and a half years in prison for manslaughter, even though she never gave a proper confession.
[579] I will say this.
[580] If you hurt your child and you go to jail as a woman, your life is living hell.
[581] It's like I hear on par with how they do, what they do to pedophiles.
[582] Yeah.
[583] In women's prison, if they know that you...
[584] Like that's the lowest of the low.
[585] It's the lowest of the low.
[586] They make your life hell.
[587] Good.
[588] I mean, I know that, you know, a little justice.
[589] Yes.
[590] Things like that are like...
[591] There's, um, what's it called?
[592] There's like a pecking order and these horrible people, rightfully, So should be, they should be fucked with in the same way that they're, the people who trusted them were fucked with.
[593] I mean, yeah.
[594] Like pedophiles and child killers.
[595] It's like, fuck you.
[596] Okay.
[597] It wasn't until she was talking with members of her parole board like five years later that Shelby fully confessed.
[598] She admitted to having anger and substance abuse issues and that she would take it out on the baby.
[599] She said that she would angrily toss.
[600] I don't know if I should keep bringing this.
[601] I mean, do we need it?
[602] But no. Is it bad?
[603] Her sentence ended this past November.
[604] Stephen, what are you doing?
[605] Looking back, she seemed like the type to do something crazy.
[606] I hope you enjoyed my very distant brush with murder.
[607] Keep up the excellent work.
[608] Cheers, Emily.
[609] Emily, that is not a distant brush.
[610] No. You had sleepovers with this girl.
[611] You could have done something about it.
[612] Shaving, Emily.
[613] We accuse you, Emily.
[614] How could you?
[615] Jacuse.
[616] Yeah.
[617] Which is something someone from Montreal would.
[618] say that's a different part of Canada.
[619] I don't know.
[620] I don't know Spanish.
[621] Can I just say that Shelby Hockstacker or whatever that girl's last name?
[622] It was such a Canadian name when she first said it.
[623] So she's at a prison now.
[624] Isn't it weird like someone like that could be like into murder like a murderer and like be like yeah I love you know and I can not understand that connection between like her liking serial killers and her being a murderer?
[625] Herself?
[626] She's not.
[627] Herself?
[628] Yeah.
[629] Oh, you're just saying.
[630] if she is.
[631] I was like, Emily did not do this crime.
[632] No, not Emily.
[633] Emily is cool.
[634] Shelby, Hofstetter.
[635] Right, right.
[636] Like, what if she's like, yeah, I'm really in a serial killers?
[637] And like, no, you're not allowed to be in a serial killers because you're a monster.
[638] I mean, I feel like that's the typical, you know, lack of self -awareness that your average murder.
[639] It's not the same thing.
[640] I was 18 and I was in a bad place, you know, like.
[641] Well, but here's a thing.
[642] If she got sober in jail and then she has to live with the thing she did on drugs, which is kill her own child, that is, I mean, we just have to look at that side too.
[643] I just don't, but no. I know.
[644] Because what percent of drug addicts kill their own kids?
[645] I bet it's a real small.
[646] I bet it is really small.
[647] And so some fucking heroin addicts who's like just crazy addicted might walk away from their family and kids.
[648] No, the killing is a different area.
[649] Yeah.
[650] But what percentage of people who kill their children are on drugs?
[651] I bet that's kind of high.
[652] Yeah.
[653] And, like, legitimately wouldn't have done it ever if that hadn't happened.
[654] This is a bad area, Emily.
[655] Let's read one more.
[656] Okay.
[657] And let's make it happy.
[658] Yeah, let's get a good.
[659] Can you make it happy?
[660] Let's get a left beat murder.
[661] Let's get.
[662] This might be good.
[663] Okay.
[664] Okay.
[665] I think these two pages go together.
[666] It would be kind of funny if we started one of the, no, okay, that's right.
[667] Mix them up and let's have some fun.
[668] Okay.
[669] Now, I haven't read through this.
[670] Good.
[671] Well, this is going to be a dice roll.
[672] But it looks pretty good.
[673] It's from Haley.
[674] And it was from January 8th of 2016.
[675] So she's like an original emailer.
[676] And this is called My Mom, the Murder Magnet, an email from a reenactment actor.
[677] Oh, so I think I may have seen that there's a woman posted her pictures on Twitter.
[678] She got to play a dead body on like a CSI show.
[679] Did you remember that, Stephen?
[680] No, this was a little while ago.
[681] I would say it was like last summer, and it was pretty amazing.
[682] So this might be the same person.
[683] Cool.
[684] I'm not going to tell you ladies how much I love the podcast because it's fucking annoying and pandering when people do that.
[685] Okay, so my mom who's...
[686] No, cut it out.
[687] No, don't read this.
[688] Fuck her.
[689] Don't fucking read this.
[690] Haley, fuck you.
[691] Okay, so my mom, who's the dictionary definition of a sweet baby angel or angle up to you, has somehow always had in her life been in a five -mile radius of a serial killer.
[692] now I'm sure we are all always in a five -mile radius of a serial killer but the difference is that we don't have to know about it my mom grew up in Ellensburg, Washington which is basically bum fuck nowhere with a state university located smack in the middle of town I know where this is going to go naturally she went to the university central Washington while she was there Ted Bundy kidnapped and murdered Elaine ran court Elaine was walking from campus to the movie theater in town and Ted was prowling the campus approaching girls with his arm in a slang asking for help.
[693] Uh -huh.
[694] My mom was not any of these girls, but she was on campus at the time.
[695] Fast forward, my mom has moved to Kent, a suburb just south of Seattle, and lives in a house with my dad and yours truly.
[696] I don't have any memories from this house, but I specifically remember my parents constantly talking with our next door neighbor.
[697] Holy shit.
[698] Turns out my neighbor was the prosecutor.
[699] Oh, okay.
[700] My neighbor was the prosecutor on the Gary Ridgeway case, the Green River Killer.
[701] all those years he was meeting with my parents he was updating them on the case and what was happening and they were cool as shit right while they were where they were finding bodies since my mom was working a working paralegal at the time i guess he thought it was okay to divulge details to her it's illegal is that illegal i think so he was just like they found another one down by the so and so how could you not gossip about that oh how's like you keep it to yourself it went on for years it's like you either tell your hamburs or your kids like which one pick one he made the right choice when I go home there is one road we always drive down that has a ravine next to it as a child I always had a weird feeling about that road and to this day I am convinced one of his victims is down there and that's just her personal feeling later when I was in high school I learned that my best friend's mom was Rich Ridgeway's corrections officer she said he was very nice but mostly kept to himself yeah yeah red flag um I also had a friend in high school whose brother went crazy one night and tried to murder his entire family.
[702] After this happened, I would still go over to their house and he was always there.
[703] That's really all I can say about that.
[704] What in the fucking fuck?
[705] Haley, are you a compulsive liar?
[706] Um, finally, I think you should totally fucking appreciate this.
[707] I've been a reenactment actor on the show on ID.
[708] While my person didn't end up killing the person, she stabbed.
[709] I did find her on Facebook and was able to go back through her timeline and see when these things have happened.
[710] Oh my God.
[711] Haley, you're out of your mind.
[712] Cool.
[713] You're out of your mind.
[714] Don't say that.
[715] Sorry, Haley, we're 100%.
[716] We support you.
[717] She might come, like, have a serial killer move in next to you.
[718] She might come make friends with a paralegal.
[719] She's fine.
[720] Oh, she's trying to get tickets for when we go to Oakland.
[721] She lives in Marin.
[722] Do, do, do.
[723] Oh, she loves hearing us talk about the Bay.
[724] I mean, you know, now it's half Haley's show.
[725] This email is so long.
[726] fucking, stay fucking sexy.
[727] Don't get murdered at least until after the Oakland show.
[728] Then you're on your own.
[729] Well done.
[730] That was great.
[731] What if we went to Seattle?
[732] Are we going to Seattle?
[733] Yeah.
[734] Let's go to the, I really want to see what the Green Bay killer?
[735] Nope.
[736] Green River.
[737] Thank you.
[738] Yeah.
[739] That's for when we go to Wisconsin.
[740] Yeah.
[741] I want to see the locations because I don't understand how picturesque it is.
[742] And I think it's pretty fucking picturesque.
[743] in a green bed river oh that reminds me the whole Ted Bundy he was walking with a sling and all this shit which I feel like he must have approached like a hundred women to get one because there's so many women that are like there's so many girls at emails like my mom no he really did he kind of didn't give a fuck he would do it a lot he kept going all right so I posted this like really hot photo events at like 20 years old on my Instagram the other day And someone, oops, someone said, hang on, I have to read that.
[744] Okay.
[745] Her name is the K's, the C -A -Y -S.
[746] She wrote, she commented, 10 out of 10, would help him carry things to his V -W if his arm was in a sling.
[747] Yes.
[748] He was like, oh, that hits me on so many levels.
[749] Vince is Ted Bundy Hot.
[750] Thank you.
[751] Yeah.
[752] All right.
[753] Well, that's been this minisode.
[754] Yeah, thanks for listening, you guys.
[755] Those were good.
[756] Yeah.
[757] Keep writing them to us.
[758] We're at My Favorite Murder at Gmail.
[759] Say hi to Stephen when you write them because we're not.
[760] And most of all stay sexy.
[761] And don't get murdered.
[762] Bye.
[763] Elvis, do you want a cookie?
[764] Want a cookie?
[765] Wow.
[766] That's right.
[767] Bye.