#992 - Ian Edwards

[0] Oh, shit.

[1] Here we go in Edwards, back from Montreal.

[2] Back from another country.

[3] What up, man?

[4] What's up, brother?

[5] Good to see you, man. Good to see you, man. Yeah, man. Was in Montreal at the Comedy Festival.

[6] First of all, Canada is right there.

[7] Yeah.

[8] But it's such a hard country to get into.

[9] It's very hard to get into.

[10] It's crazy.

[11] Yeah, they don't want any douchebags.

[12] They have a zero douchebag policy.

[13] But listen, I saw the ex -mare of Montreal, right, in walking down sunset in front of the comedy store, the one that was on crack, right?

[14] Is that the Toronto guy?

[15] The Toronto guy?

[16] The Toronto guy.

[17] You saw that guy?

[18] Yeah, I saw that guy one day walking by the comedy store, and everybody took pictures with him, and he was the mayor, and he did crack.

[19] There's a tape of it, right?

[20] Right.

[21] So how the fuck did he get here?

[22] But Canada won't even take a drunk driver from us.

[23] That's true.

[24] Well, I think crack, you're probably better driver when you're on crack.

[25] You're just more expeditious.

[26] You get things done.

[27] Yeah, that's a...

[28] Like, if you commit a crime, you can't get into Canada.

[29] If you have a DUI, like Patrice had a DUI on...

[30] He had, well, not Patrice, but I know people that have DUIs that can get into Canada.

[31] Oh, yeah.

[32] It's super common.

[33] Like on, that's super common.

[34] You can't work there, you can't get in there.

[35] Diaz can't get up there.

[36] Say again?

[37] Joey Diaz, you can't get up there.

[38] Right.

[39] But he's got like some real shit.

[40] Right, he's got some real shit.

[41] Armed kidnapping.

[42] But that's why I say DUI, because even though DUI's are serious, the ones where you get convicted, but you do your probation period and you, you know, you get your license back.

[43] Yeah.

[44] Even when you get your license back, you can't get into Canada.

[45] But somebody who was the mayor and soul crack.

[46] And I know other Canadians that probably committed crimes can be in here.

[47] Yeah.

[48] Like, why the fuck is it so tough for me to get into Canada?

[49] When I got to the airport, they, I've been to Canada before.

[50] So when I got to the airport, they had me to try to fill out some immigration form.

[51] And it's three hours, I was like two and a half hours early, thank God.

[52] Then they want me to fill out this form on my phone, online.

[53] It's like 40 -something questions.

[54] Online?

[55] Online.

[56] It's the new way to do it?

[57] It's a new way to do it.

[58] Well, again, I got a British passport.

[59] So everybody that was just had a straight American passport went in.

[60] How does that work?

[61] You have like a Jamaica passport?

[62] Is that what it is?

[63] No, I got a British one.

[64] From England?

[65] From England, yeah.

[66] And so now when you're in America from England, like, how does it work?

[67] They give you like a...

[68] I have a green card.

[69] So you're not a full American citizen?

[70] No, I'm like a permanent resident earlier.

[71] So I can't talk about certain shit with you.

[72] Why not?

[73] Because then it's like treasonous.

[74] Treasiness.

[75] I got to be careful.

[76] I got to be careful.

[77] You're from another land.

[78] No, man, I'm here.

[79] It's one of the nation.

[80] Oh, man, I'm here.

[81] Isn't that odd?

[82] I mean, that's really odd.

[83] Like, here's a perfect example.

[84] Perfect example.

[85] I didn't know that you were born in England.

[86] If you told me, I forgot.

[87] Right.

[88] You probably forgot.

[89] I probably forgot.

[90] And people forget.

[91] We forget facts about each other.

[92] Well, especially that kind of facts, because it doesn't mean anything.

[93] Right.

[94] It doesn't mean anything.

[95] But, like, automatically, like, in the grand scheme of things, I'm supposed to look at you, like, oh, you're on the other team.

[96] What other team?

[97] You're over here.

[98] You could be one of those embedded people.

[99] I just reading about that.

[100] These Russians, man. There's Russians in New Jersey.

[101] Did you hear about this?

[102] I'm not Russian anymore.

[103] Dude, I'm not trusting English people either anymore.

[104] The Russians were in, I want to say, Montclair, like a nice area of New Jersey.

[105] And they were a regular family.

[106] This is the Russian family.

[107] But there weren't really this regular family.

[108] They were actually embedded Soviet spies.

[109] Well, that sounds like the Americans.

[110] Look at that shit.

[111] Russian spies.

[112] New Jersey home heading for sale.

[113] Damn, don't buy that house.

[114] What the fuck?

[115] You want someone to watch you fuck?

[116] You might find money and shit in there.

[117] There's going to be cameras that watch the shit come out of your asshole.

[118] There's probably cameras everywhere.

[119] Watch the shit come out of your ass.

[120] I mean, come on, man. You can't get a Russian house from some Russian spies.

[121] You've got to be like a crazy person.

[122] I don't know.

[123] He might find some hidden spaces with money and shit in that.

[124] Yeah, maybe if you feel like a total voyeur.

[125] What does he said?

[126] He said that he did.

[127] doesn't expect the Russian spy connection to help or hurt the sale.

[128] Bitch, you're out of your fucking mind.

[129] I mean, that's not the worst thing that can happen to a house.

[130] It's just a bunch of, you know, spies.

[131] Nobody's, hopefully nobody's murdered in the house.

[132] But when someone's murdered in the house, good luck selling that house.

[133] You get the price down.

[134] You're better off just burning it to the ground, smashing that thing, and then rebuilding a new house.

[135] And even then people don't want to live there because that's where the old house, where the dude, got killed used to be.

[136] Let me ask you how old is your house?

[137] Is it brand new?

[138] Did you first person in there?

[139] No, no, no, no. I think it was made in the 70s.

[140] Seventies?

[141] Do you know if anybody was murdered there or died there?

[142] I've never seen a ghost.

[143] I think they have to inform you.

[144] But there's a, there's a, there's a moratorium.

[145] What's that?

[146] I think is a website you can look at it.

[147] I just heard about it.

[148] I'm not sure that I was going to ask you if you heard if you knew about it.

[149] A website where you could find out of somebody died in your house?

[150] Yeah, that's a good move.

[151] Went in when it was.

[152] Yeah, like, do you remember that this one always got to me, man. that um those brothers that shot their their parents the menendez brothers so one of them had a wig on remember he had like this glorious fake head of hair they made him take it off when he went to jail it was a really crazy story because they shotgun their own parents right whoa man how the fuck does that happen the one on the left the one of left has a total wig i mean you look at it now you go oh i get it no the one on the right was just blessed just straight Straight up blessed with some curly locks.

[153] It's hilarious.

[154] What the fuck, man?

[155] Those sons shotgun, they're fucking parents, man. Do you know Kirk Fox used to teach them tennis?

[156] That's right.

[157] That's right.

[158] I do somehow vaguely remember that.

[159] So he has a whole story about teaching them tennis.

[160] Dude, that scares the shit out of me that people could do that.

[161] It doesn't scare the shit out of me nearly as much that people can get so angry at someone that they could shoot them.

[162] but it scares the shit out of me that someone could do that to their dad and their mom too right and they shoot the mom too Jesus they were adopted right were they yeah I think the men and his brothers were adopted oh really yeah and I think I think they're just trying to get money oh what is that sexual and psychological abuse they had suffered at the hands of their parents oh well there you go I know it's like you always want to immediately blame it on the kids right because they kill their parents but the parents could have been fucking monsters.

[163] Yeah, you never know.

[164] Oh, well, it's got, they have to be monsters.

[165] I mean, if you think about it, how do you make a kid that is capable of shooting you in your sleep?

[166] You got to be, you got to raise that kid horribly.

[167] Unless you just, by dumb luck, have two complete genetic psychopaths from birth that you could have done nothing to fix.

[168] You've got two guys that are willing to shoot you while you're sleeping and you raise them from time where they were babies.

[169] That's crazy.

[170] yeah man anyway i was gonna say their house yeah i wonder what happened to their house burnt that fucking thing to the ground probably i wonder what happened to like nicole simpson's house oh i think it's still there does somebody live there wasn't Nicole simpson was that a house or was that outside an apartment building it was a condo yeah it's still there a money drive god damn man yeah who that's a weird one because that's like it's a public building you gotta just deal with it people just deal with it is that apartment like still empty hers nah he killed them on the street right he killed them outside but every time you go home you have to step over a crime scene to walk into your house and you've seen the pictures yeah you know the history every time an oj documentary comes out or every time they have an OJ series on TV or when his parole hearing comes up you're like walking over the doorway into that house so i wonder like i want to talk to the person who's like doesn't give a fuck and lives in that motherfucker you know what i doesn't bother me it's like a deal's a deal baby this house is badass sprintwood yeah listen she should have been nicer to them did you ever see the autopsy photos uh did i don't don't if you haven't it's not worth it You get it.

[171] I saw the murder scene photos.

[172] It's just so hard to believe that someone could do that to someone.

[173] Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

[174] They cared about that they had babies with.

[175] Right.

[176] It's just people get crazy.

[177] It's a game of Thrones out here.

[178] But just rarely, that's what it is.

[179] It's like every week it's the Game of Thrones.

[180] It's normal on the Game of Thrones, which I just started watching in.

[181] You did?

[182] Yeah, I didn't know what the fuck was going on, man. I started watching this new season.

[183] I was like, I forgot everything.

[184] I started watching it like a few.

[185] months ago i started watching it over from the beginning oh like every that's what you should do watch it yeah from season one and you see how much stuff you didn't know or didn't understand right or didn't realize and because game of thrones they don't give a fuck like they'll introduce a new character and having talking to a regular character like they've been talking for a while yeah and you're like did i miss something exactly but then if you go back you know no that guy is new i'm not supposed to know them yeah it's like homework you got to do research to understand that show well this these kind of shows have kind of stopped my interest in movies.

[186] Like, movies are okay, but a movie's 90 minutes.

[187] That's it.

[188] Or two hours.

[189] It's over.

[190] When it's over, I don't, you know, I'm done.

[191] But these goddamn things get you infested.

[192] Yeah.

[193] Like, I'm not like...

[194] What is this?

[195] A nerd.

[196] HBO hacked, upcoming episodes, Game of Thrones, data leaked online.

[197] Be careful what you look at now.

[198] It's all out there.

[199] So the results, like the scripts, that they mean by data?

[200] No, no, like the shows.

[201] shows.

[202] Oh, no. Someone hacked them.

[203] Yeah, like they have them.

[204] Oh, no. There's a big hack recently.

[205] Some other shows got taken, too.

[206] Oh, yeah.

[207] They should just edit offline.

[208] Oh, my goodness.

[209] Monsters.

[210] You monsters.

[211] How dare you?

[212] Be careful.

[213] Yeah.

[214] Some WizGid, right?

[215] Probably from China.

[216] Something like that.

[217] So, yeah, we can't compete anymore.

[218] Russia's kicking everybody out of Russia.

[219] You hear about that shit?

[220] They are?

[221] All the people that are working at the embassy?

[222] 75 American delegates or whatever they would be called.

[223] I'm sure they're happy to go home once they stay in Russia out of here, unless they got something going on.

[224] Yeah.

[225] Got some crazy fake Russian life over there.

[226] Just like the people in Montclair.

[227] 755.

[228] 755 diplomats.

[229] What does that mean?

[230] Are we going to war with Russia?

[231] No. Come on, man. They've got in Montclair, right?

[232] They got a house.

[233] People just live in there.

[234] What happened to those people in that house?

[235] Did they kick them out?

[236] Put them in jail?

[237] I think they put them in jail.

[238] Go back to that story.

[239] Like how they find out they were That's a good question, man That's a real good question They just went to the house sale Like, whoa, give me some Give me some explanation here, y 'all It says their story partially inspired The FX drama The Americans About two undercover Russian spies That live in the U .S. with two young children That's a fucking amazing show Is it really?

[240] The Americans is so fucking amazing Really?

[241] Yeah, man What's it on?

[242] FX, duh It says right in front of me Vladimir and Lydia How do you say that name?

[243] Gurdiev, Vladimir and Lydia Gouryev, lived in the home in Montclair, under the name is Richard and Cynthia Murphy.

[244] Hi, we're Richard and Cynthia Murphy.

[245] Hi.

[246] I wonder what they talked like.

[247] Before they arrested in 2010, along with eight other spies accused of leading double lives, complete with false passports, secret code words, fake names, invisible ink, and encrypted radio.

[248] Invisible ink.

[249] Dude, what kind of weird -ass life is that?

[250] it's weird to think that there's someone that could be a spy in your neighborhood and that he thinks that you're the enemy because you're born over here and he was born over there you know just like what we were talking about with you having a passport from england but what's in jersey that they're living in jersey and doing this shit like who are they close to well jersey's close to new york first of all and there's a lot of very wealthy people that live in Montclair.

[251] I believe Montclair is a very nice area.

[252] Google that.

[253] Should be.

[254] My uncle used to have a pottery studio.

[255] A pottery studio?

[256] In Montclair.

[257] That is some rich white shit.

[258] Well, it was more like a hippie artist stuff.

[259] He was an art teacher.

[260] He used to teach art in school.

[261] I don't think it was in high school.

[262] What's that?

[263] How do I look that up?

[264] Montclair, New Jersey.

[265] What's that word they use?

[266] Medium income.

[267] Look up that.

[268] I think it's a baller place.

[269] I think it's like Beverly Hills.

[270] It's like the Beverly Hills of New Jersey.

[271] Maybe I'm exaggerating.

[272] 163 ,000, it says.

[273] That's a lot of money.

[274] Yeah.

[275] For the average, that probably means a lot of rich.

[276] That means people are making more.

[277] Yeah.

[278] There's probably a lot of rich people there.

[279] That's just one poor rich person that brought that price down to $200.

[280] Why do you think they do it?

[281] Okay, let's take a guess.

[282] Do you think they steal?

[283] sneak in they become spies they get tight with rich people and then you know like look i know a family that had ted fucking cruise over their house for some event they were holding oh this is like like a year or so before the election maybe two years before the election like these people were so baller they had ted cruz give like one of those stupid stump speeches in their house for for money to raise to raise money they're like big pro -israel supporters So they have Ted Cruz in their house talking about Israel.

[284] Very trippy shit.

[285] Like, very trippy shit.

[286] Like, you're literally hanging out in your house with a guy that might be running the nukes.

[287] Right.

[288] Yeah.

[289] Like, so if you're a Russian spy and you can get tight with that dude, you can hang with that dude.

[290] Hey, Frank, is Ted Cruz really coming over your body?

[291] I'll tell you what.

[292] It makes a lot of sense.

[293] There's a lot of his policies that I'm really agreeing with.

[294] Then you just call up the Russian embassy, send me some money so I can donate to Ted Cruz and get close to Dead Cruz.

[295] And you just bring in a truckload of Vietnamese hookers.

[296] Just back it up.

[297] Beep.

[298] Beep.

[299] Beep.

[300] Get Ted all fucked up on that same meth that Rob Ford had.

[301] It's hilarious.

[302] Right?

[303] Just get the party wrong.

[304] Start filming.

[305] Start filming, Ted.

[306] We need to know.

[307] Start having blackmail info on Ted Cruz.

[308] We need to know we can count on you.

[309] Everybody keeps getting fired from the White House.

[310] Does anybody understand what the fuck is going on over there?

[311] Yeah, was anybody fired today yet?

[312] there's a meme that scaramucci guy however you say his name um there's a meme of him where he's going like that like with his mouth and it said um if you take if you get this job where do you see yourself in 10 days hilarious that's funny it's like like how do how do you hire a guy who clearly looks like he's done coke mm like does he he looks like a wolf of wall street yeah it looks him like this is this is the guy yeah just on looks alone like this cocky he's a he's a he's a he's a hedge fund jock you know he follows everybody online he probably follows you hilarious follows me he does yep yeah that makes sense I think he follows everybody would you ever 50 ,000 would you ever have him on the show of course yeah that's a great guess I would love to talk to one of those dudes find out what it's like in there especially a guy who's in there for like 10 days.

[313] This guy will talk.

[314] Well, I have had a hedge fund guy.

[315] I've had that Peter Schiff guy on before, Financial Wizard.

[316] He's coming on again.

[317] He's an interesting cat.

[318] He's a big -time Wall Street guy.

[319] I mean, he's got some gigantic firm that employees who knows how many fucking people.

[320] But he's also always on television breaking down what's wrong with like financial bubbles.

[321] Like the real estate bubble.

[322] He called all that shit, the subprime mortgage bubble.

[323] He called all that shit years ago.

[324] I'm calling the Netflix bubble.

[325] I'm calling the Netflix bubble.

[326] right now.

[327] Ooh, how dare you?

[328] I'm calling, it can't sustain itself.

[329] You're not the only one, by the way.

[330] All right, cool.

[331] You know, there was an article that was out just yesterday about debt.

[332] There was something about Netflix being in debt.

[333] Something like 20, I think it was said, it was someone at the Times did an investigation, and it was just like they found out their $20 billion in debt.

[334] How's that possible?

[335] Because they're spending so much money on these shows, man, and promoting them.

[336] And it's like, listen, they just celebrated a few months ago their hundred million.

[337] million customer, like, whatever they call it.

[338] 100 million?

[339] Yeah.

[340] So that means they make...

[341] If Facebook had that, Facebook would be laughing.

[342] Because Facebook's got how many subscribers?

[343] Right, but there's a big difference.

[344] Facebook doesn't get $9 a month from you.

[345] Right.

[346] Each one of those 100 million people are giving $9 a month.

[347] That's $900 million a month.

[348] I'm not good at math, but I think this...

[349] That's almost a billion dollars a year.

[350] Right.

[351] Or maybe $10 billion a year.

[352] You know what?

[353] insane amount of money you know what it is what is what it is human man man is so valuable right I know even when something can work like they make systems at work right but the problem with those systems is that humans run those systems right and they are so valuable that they fuck shit up is that the right way to say that word valuable probably not sounds perfect though but yeah it sounds good don't look it up people Fallible?

[354] I always thought it was fallible.

[355] It must mind the British Jamaican accent makes things sound different.

[356] But there's always those words that you never say, but you see written, and you know the word.

[357] Be like, how am I saying this?

[358] Like, I know what this is, but I don't say it.

[359] Can't come up with a good example.

[360] That is one of it.

[361] You know what?

[362] It's funny.

[363] I don't remember ever saying that word.

[364] Oh, Reuters.

[365] Reuters is one.

[366] Like, I never say Reuters, like the Reuters news source, but when I look at it, it's funny, I don't And I go, okay, I know what that is.

[367] I've read it a thousand times, but how do I say that?

[368] Routers, routers?

[369] Routers sounds right.

[370] It is the right way to say it.

[371] That's what everybody says it.

[372] But when left to my own devices, I'll just look.

[373] How the fuck do I pronounce this?

[374] I have way too much totally useless information going around inside my head.

[375] I've got to do some spring cleaning.

[376] I got to throw away some childhood memories.

[377] I got to throw away some children.

[378] Childhood memories that are not serving me. It's hilarious.

[379] They just take it up space in my head.

[380] I just, you run out of hard drive space, man. Yeah, you do.

[381] Every day, you're looking at some new story.

[382] Every day, there's some new thing going on, you know, and especially if you're trying to follow Game of Thrones and maybe Houser Cards, too, and maybe stranger things.

[383] I remember when I used to remember everything.

[384] Like, I could remember every movie, every part of every movie, every part of my childhood.

[385] And then now somebody said, remember the time we did this?

[386] And I'm like, you were there?

[387] Like, I remember the time, but I don't remember that you were there, but I guess you were.

[388] Yeah.

[389] Like, now it's, my memory's full.

[390] I need to go to the Mac store and have some shit at it.

[391] Yeah, but if you were like an old farmer, you'd remember all that shit.

[392] It was just every day getting up, milking the cows, picking the eggs, killing a sheep or something for dinner.

[393] Right.

[394] You would only, you would have those memories.

[395] Right.

[396] Because you're in that same spot every day thinking about your childhood.

[397] Yeah, and you're away from all the distractions.

[398] Yeah.

[399] No books.

[400] Yeah, no books.

[401] No books.

[402] No, no. You've got to eat cheese and go to sleep.

[403] They probably just read one book, like, over and over.

[404] They've got five books.

[405] The Bible's all you need.

[406] It's an amazing story book.

[407] Yeah.

[408] It is written in storybook form.

[409] Well, it's what it was.

[410] The Bible is, you know, a fascinating book in that it's, You start off with someone telling stories for like a thousand years before you write it down.

[411] And then you got a bunch of really old versions of the story.

[412] No one's sure which ones to use.

[413] Like they got the version that's in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

[414] That's the oldest versions of some of those stories.

[415] And it's one of the only, like, I think maybe the only one that's written in Aramaic.

[416] Oh, right.

[417] And they found it in these clay pots and Kumron and.

[418] Kumran is an area in Israel.

[419] So they have these, like, little caves, and then we find these clay pots, and in these clay pots, they got these scrolls that are made out of animal skins, a lot of them.

[420] So they take these scrolls out.

[421] It's so crazy.

[422] It takes, like, I think it took them, like, 14 to 15 years just to piece it together.

[423] Damn.

[424] Dude, they're all broken up and shit, and they couldn't figure out what goes with what.

[425] So they had to take DNA tests on the actual pieces of animal skin, so they could tell, okay, okay, well, this is some skin from this animal.

[426] So let's concentrate on this.

[427] All these pieces have been genetically tested to be from this animal.

[428] So let's put these together because it's probably the same scroll.

[429] And they have to figure out, I take these crumbs and chunks that are just thousands of years old.

[430] And I'm supposed to trust this?

[431] Well, not only that, it's also you're reading it in an ancient, ancient language.

[432] You're reading it in also like the references and the way people thought back then.

[433] Yeah.

[434] Then they have like the oldest version of the Hebrew Bible is like the very oldest versions were written in ancient Hebrew.

[435] And ancient Hebrew is crazy because it has numbers as well as letters.

[436] So like if you have a letter A, it's also the number one.

[437] It's all the same.

[438] It's all linked in.

[439] So like when you have a word, like words have like a numerical value.

[440] And if I'm butchering this, if anyone's an ancient Hebrew representative.

[441] But Ari and I discussed this for a couple of times because Ari, you know, went to, what is it called like that thing that they send him off to, that religious camp when he was, you know, Arroy was like a serious, serious Orthodox Jew?

[442] Oh, so that's why he's such a serious atheist now.

[443] Oh, he's such a freak now.

[444] But that's exactly why.

[445] But so like their words had numerical value.

[446] So like the word God and the word love, they have the same numerical value.

[447] So, you know, like with, you know, the letter L, the letter O, and they'll all have, like, numbers.

[448] Like, we can't even think like that because none of our words have numerical value.

[449] Right.

[450] But, like, the actual meaning of a word has more value with more numbers to it.

[451] It's really interesting.

[452] All that stuff's lost on our stupid, goofy language.

[453] Because when they translated it to Latin, they translated it to Greek or to English, it's all kind of lost.

[454] And then who was translating this shit?

[455] And what was everything is based off, like, what you...

[456] your goal is or what your perception of the world is and where you're from and how you are raised and what you want this thing to mean to people right so like like you can't get away from that you know so if you're the person putting this stuff together and translating it's like how do you not let your influence influence this thing you do right you tweak it a little you you tweak it yeah you want it to to mean the things that it means to you even if you just want people to believe this is an ancient scroll that you found yeah you know and this goes back to you finding it and it goes to your name and to your legacy yeah like well there's also massive amounts evidence of people looking at something and then having a distorted perception of what that something means and then having that bend in their favor right exactly there's a this like so many points of evidence i do that with all my relationships so many people do so many people do I mean, how many people think that they're the victim?

[457] How many people are just running around thinking the world's against them?

[458] Total victim in myelationships.

[459] Yeah.

[460] So that's just evidence of biased thinking.

[461] If you have biased thinking in regards to the way that the God of gods wants to govern humanity and our behavior and how we should behave with each other and treat each other, if you're like going to let your own personal ego and biases get in the way, which it absolutely did.

[462] There's shit written in the Bible that treats women as second -class citizens.

[463] It condones slavery.

[464] There's no, like, talking about slavery as if it's some horrible thing that has to be, like, banished.

[465] Right.

[466] Like, there's, in the ancient Hebrew Bible, they condone slavery.

[467] There's really nothing bad about having slaves.

[468] It's like, God doesn't come and kill you, but God will kill you if you wear two different types of cloth.

[469] I know.

[470] Like, they'll burn witches.

[471] Like, you know what?

[472] You're a witch.

[473] Why?

[474] Because I said you're a witch.

[475] But, you know, what's not evil?

[476] Slaves.

[477] Yeah.

[478] The Inquisition?

[479] The Inquisition.

[480] During the Inquisition, they weren't torturing people because they had slaves.

[481] Right.

[482] Because they thought they were witches.

[483] They were torturing people because they just didn't believe enough.

[484] They didn't believe it right away.

[485] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[486] Or they caught you doing something.

[487] Or if you wanted to get rid of somebody that, say somebody had a job that you wanted, a position that you wanted.

[488] if you could prove that that person like slandered God or blasphemed or anything then you're out that's the standard maneuver right yeah oh yeah you get the government to get rid of this person for you that's how you get shit like North Korea and that's how you get shit like ISIS you know you you just everybody turning on everybody everybody trying to figure out a way that they can use their power but that's what's kind of happening in the America, too.

[489] A little bit.

[490] Yeah.

[491] Yeah.

[492] There's an article in the, I think it was the New Yorker just like two days ago.

[493] The senator.

[494] Was it a senator who wrote it?

[495] I just read an article last night.

[496] It's a Republican senator.

[497] And he said when Obama was president, the Republicans made a concerted effort to just push the Republican agenda and make Obama a one -term president.

[498] And now that Trump has hijacked their party, they're kind of turning up.

[499] blind eye at the things that they wouldn't have if Obama was president just because Trump is the Republican candidate.

[500] Huh.

[501] And he's like, where are our loyalties to our party or to this country?

[502] Because we're kind of like fucking up the country, you know?

[503] And it's kind it's kind of like when Obama was president, no, no, no, no, no, the matter what you think of him, like if he, if he was a good president, right?

[504] say he's a good president because he's not your person you're going to shut down the things that he's doing to get your party in power like you don't give a fuck because all you care about is your party winning like like and now that trump is president the democrats are taking the same thing from the same book and i'm not even saying trump is a good president but i'm just saying everybody's turning on everybody yeah they're all trying to figure out a way to win so they get their agenda forward and that's not the country's agenda no at all so we're destroying we're destroying each other well it's there's definitely like a battle between the two sides right now you know I mean there's a lot of people that are getting excited by it they take uh they have not just a vested interest in it but it becomes like a part of their identity to be a part of the resistance fighting fighting against this evil empire but at the detriment of like say but maybe not I mean it really depends because like when you put a tremendous amount of pressure on someone like they're putting on Trump, whether you agree with it or not, it forces that person to realize that there's people like that out there and you adjust accordingly.

[505] It moves the tide a couple of degrees one way or the other.

[506] It just does.

[507] Like, the idea that we're not culturally malleable that our culture doesn't shift back and forth, it certainly does.

[508] Things that used to be totally acceptable are now completely taboo.

[509] And that's just over the course of like the last decade or so.

[510] So I think that even the far left, it's all necessary.

[511] It just doesn't seem necessary because we're caught up in it and we can see if we just meet in the middle somewhere, it can all be.

[512] But if you just looked at this thing objectively, like not like a human being even.

[513] Right.

[514] Look at it like a mathematic problem.

[515] Like if you could see human culture, you would say, oh, well, there's this complete constant shift of energy.

[516] It goes left and right and left and right like some crazy ping pong game.

[517] Occasionally it goes right and then right again.

[518] very rarely like Reagan and then Bush senior but then it bounces itself out and goes left again it's this weird battle and along the way if you look at like if you really step away from it along the way there are incremental changes that are moving in a good direction it's just hard to see them because there's a lot of bad shit happening yeah I get that and then we only hear about the stuff the bad stuff because like each side is just trying to get points right from the other side but but i'm just saying it's just that when one party no matter what parties is trying to do something good even if it's something good then the people from the other party are going to be against it because they don't want that party to score that good point so then they knock that off the table and that thing that could help people is never going to help people the thing is also a part of having two teams if think if there was way more teams if there's like 20 or 30 different parties, we'd be way better off.

[519] Think we'd be better off?

[520] Yeah, politicians are spread across 20 or 30 different parties instead of jammed into one or the other, or the freaks that are independent or a green party.

[521] Like get the fuck out of here with your green party.

[522] It's goofy, right?

[523] No one's going to elect a green party president.

[524] All the bankers are going to put a stop theft.

[525] This guy's just going to steal money from us.

[526] Fuck this.

[527] He's going to give it to penguins and shit.

[528] You know, I mean, that's going to give all money to penguins.

[529] Yeah, so you got really three choices.

[530] You got independent, which is so rare.

[531] The only person I could think ever winning as an independent right now, honestly, would be someone like Trump or like Elon Musk or like Mark Cuban.

[532] Yeah, Trump is basically an independent who hijacked the Republican Party.

[533] Well, he voted Democrat like his whole life.

[534] He was pro -choice, like his whole life.

[535] You know, it's like he's been on the side of democratic issues forever.

[536] Right.

[537] I mean, I saw the video where he said, I saw the video, right?

[538] The day before, I saw it twice.

[539] The last time I saw it was the day before the election where he said, if I was going to run, I would run as a Republican because Republicans are stupid and blah, blah, blah.

[540] I saw that video, like him being interviewed.

[541] I tell you, the next day that shit was scrubbed from the internet.

[542] And then if I tell people I saw that video, they say, nah, you're crazy.

[543] It was just like.

[544] So he really had it taken down?

[545] Yeah, man. Dude, that's like some El Ron Hubbard type shit.

[546] El Ron Hubbard was quoted as saying that if you really, really want to make money, you should start a religion.

[547] And he started Scientology.

[548] Wasn't bullshit.

[549] He's telling the truth.

[550] They got so much real estate right now.

[551] You should have saw it coming.

[552] Yeah, he's a fascinating character, man. I mean, obviously there's a tremendous amount of issues with him not telling the truth.

[553] That might be the biggest problem.

[554] The number one biggest problem might be the lying, that we can't trust him.

[555] That is so crazy that you have a president that just lies all the time.

[556] But if you step away from the lying part, And you look at like what he's doing.

[557] What's interesting is this is, I don't know too much about the Affordable Care Act or Obamacare.

[558] Right.

[559] But I do know that a whole lot of people who voted against it are now voting against repealing it.

[560] Right.

[561] So it either means one or two things.

[562] It means Trump's plan is so bad that the people hated Obamacare.

[563] I'm like, this is even worse.

[564] Right.

[565] Or it's a bunch of people that just don't like Trump.

[566] and even though they didn't want Obamacare in the first place, no matter what Trump comes up, but they're going to be like, fuck you, we're going to fight against that, which maybe there's a few other, it could be this or could be that, but those two, to me, are pretty fascinating.

[567] That's like childish shit.

[568] Yeah, the whole shit is child.

[569] It's like, I just feel like everybody's just going after everybody.

[570] And when you spend your time going after people to remove them from their position, what are you doing for the people when you're going after, like, your own selfish gain?

[571] You're spending your entire time in office trying to get one step up.

[572] Well, he's got a lot of steps up.

[573] That's what's crazy.

[574] Not just him, but everybody else under him, plus him, now he's trying to stay up.

[575] He has to spend his day fighting shit.

[576] Right, right.

[577] Instead of solving shit.

[578] Yeah, well, he fights people on Twitter.

[579] And he fights people on Twitter.

[580] He's the president of the world, right?

[581] President of the United States, you're kind of the president of the world.

[582] Like, you might not be running these other countries, but everybody knows this is the country that has all the fucking bombs and it's crazy enough to use them right so this is the president of the arguably the greatest army the world's ever known that's the commander -in -chief right there it talks shit about people on twitter he talks shit about people having plastic surgery scars it's hilarious like bleeding badly from a facelift i said no he's so new york he's so crazy he's so crazy it's hilarious it's so crazy and people are so angry and i get it i get everybody being angry.

[583] I get it.

[584] It's not what I'm saying.

[585] I'm just saying it is, the whole thing is so surreal.

[586] It's like everybody wanted change.

[587] And then when change came, you're like, no, no, no, this change is making money.

[588] Right.

[589] Like, no, no, we don't want that.

[590] This guy's stealing money.

[591] Like, he's, he's going to make billions of dollars.

[592] Like, what the fuck is he doing?

[593] Where's his tax returns?

[594] Show me the tax returns.

[595] But I think what's going to come out of it is that there's so many people now that are politically motivated.

[596] There's so many people that are looking at it.

[597] this whole thing going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just sit back and just let this happen.

[598] Then you get someone who doesn't tell the truth as the president.

[599] And that, you know how bad that fucks up kids?

[600] Right.

[601] When you're looking at like the highest level of human being in the country, like if every kid says, Billy, what do you want to be when you grow up?

[602] I want to be the president.

[603] Yeah, that's the issue.

[604] Like, damn, you want to be the president?

[605] You don't want to be the vice president?

[606] You want to be the number one guy?

[607] That's an ambitious kid right there.

[608] It's so possible.

[609] Yeah.

[610] But it's also, like, if the guy who's the guy at the top of the list isn't better than people that you know, like, is petty, he's petty.

[611] He goofs on people that just don't like his policies.

[612] He'll talk shit about, like, their plastic surgery.

[613] A guy with fake hair is talking about people bleeding from plastic surgery.

[614] Oh.

[615] But it's just like the whole hurt your feelings thing, the lash out and hurt your feelings thing.

[616] That's what he's trying to do.

[617] He's trying to hurt their feelings.

[618] Like, someone just needs to, like, sit him down and just...

[619] I think they tried.

[620] He ain't listening.

[621] He's doing this his way.

[622] I know he is.

[623] Because he won.

[624] He won that way, so he's like, that's how I won.

[625] My base likes that.

[626] Got to let that go once you get in.

[627] You got to let that go, because you have a broader responsibility as the head guy.

[628] I think he's getting feedback that enough that...

[629] He has the amazing ability to ignore.

[630] to ignore things that I wouldn't ignore and that I think most people wouldn't ignore like blowback like I remember so this is what happened one time I went to see a movie screening with Kevin Hart was in it with Usher this is a long time ago and me and Kev were friends we used to hang out so we went to the screening and we sat there and we watched the movie and the movie was terrible.

[631] So then after the movie, I'm going to see Kev.

[632] So my word is like, what the fuck am I going to tell this guy?

[633] Because I can't lie to him about this movie.

[634] And before I said anything, he looked at me and said, man, that movie was bad, but I was great.

[635] And you know what?

[636] He was right.

[637] He was good in the movie.

[638] So he brushed off like how bad the movie was.

[639] How bad?

[640] And found something.

[641] This motherfucker Trump can find something.

[642] Like, he could he'll hear what he needs to hear from whatever he's done there probably enough people if it's even one or a few million that likes his tweets like we only see the people that hate his tweets right oh there's a lot of people that like his tweets they all have American flags in their avatars yeah so he's going to go for that they have like eagles and dobermans and American flags and guns um there was the what is uh the recent he gave some recent speech right i felt was really Oh, the cop thing.

[643] No, no, no. That was good one, too.

[644] But I think it was today where he was talking about unemployment being down, how the economy is up, and all these different factors.

[645] And they were talking about how no one mentions it.

[646] And then I went to CNN.

[647] And I was like, yeah, they're not even mentioning that.

[648] Like, he's given this speech and he's saying all the, like, how much should that be the number one story?

[649] Like, what's the number one story when you go to CNN?

[650] Go to the front page of CNN.

[651] What do we got here?

[652] what does it say highest stock market ever best economic numbers in years unemployment lowest in 17 years wages rising border secure yeah but when is that true well i don't know if that's true i don't know if it's true it's probably true right but these were the same things that were happening when obama was president and he used to shit on it he used to say it's not rising enough the unemployment the unemployment level should still be lower or like when they put out the job gains or whatever they call that shit technically he would say that's not enough growth so there's a way to shit on everything but look at all this like look at what they show on cnn right away you see on the top trump weighed in on son's misleading claim breaking news so you got a negative trump ad no inaccuracy in donald trump's junior statements about 2016 meeting with russians white house says white house comments on don't Trump Jr. Statements, timeline of...

[653] So none of that has anything to do with unemployment being down or the economy being up.

[654] And this is like the front page of CNN.

[655] It's all negative.

[656] Yeah, they're going after them, for sure.

[657] But this is not good.

[658] It's not good to do that.

[659] Like, you're not giving all the news.

[660] You've got to give the news.

[661] Like, he does plenty of stupid shit that you can cover.

[662] Right.

[663] You're not a short of stupid shit.

[664] But when good shit happens, like when the economy is up, When unemployment is down, you probably should be reporting that.

[665] It seems like that's news.

[666] But all right.

[667] So if it's true.

[668] So if it's true, right?

[669] Okay.

[670] You know you have a powerful Twitter.

[671] Your name is Trump.

[672] Right.

[673] And you know, listen, you know the game by now, right?

[674] So you know if you tweet about some woman's plastic surgery, they're going to go in on you.

[675] Yeah.

[676] And that's what's going to be on CNN.

[677] But that's not C -N.

[678] And M. She was MSNBC.

[679] Right.

[680] But it's going to be on every news.

[681] All the media outlets that are not in favor of you are going to put that.

[682] Right.

[683] So everyone except Fox.

[684] Everyone except Fox.

[685] So it's like, stop putting shit that people can use to cover up and use instead of the employment stuff being down.

[686] You know what I mean?

[687] Like stop giving people ammo against you.

[688] Right.

[689] You know what I mean?

[690] Stop giving them information, negative stuff that they can put on the front of their website instead of unemployment numbers going down.

[691] Yeah, but there's no way that they're going to stop that.

[692] As long as there's stories like that, like Donald Jr. secretly meeting with the Russians and not telling people and then releasing the emails and then saying, you know, all that stuff.

[693] And then he turns out that Trump was the one who coordinated a statement about it.

[694] And all that's, it's never going to stop.

[695] That's not going to stop.

[696] He's like, he's fucking up.

[697] Yeah.

[698] He's fucking up.

[699] But here's the thing.

[700] You got to write the good stuff too.

[701] Yeah, yeah.

[702] You have to have right news.

[703] Yeah.

[704] I mean, I feel like if I'm going to trust you for the news, I want, I would like to think as a person who leans very left, I would like to think that CNN is going to be better than right -wing propaganda websites.

[705] Well, how can they not be?

[706] That's very disappointing.

[707] It's very disappointing.

[708] You can have both things.

[709] I don't trust none of them.

[710] I don't trust the left news or the right.

[711] Because you know why?

[712] Why?

[713] Because when Obama was president or just in president's before, like a lot of shit was phony and false.

[714] Right.

[715] You know what I mean?

[716] Right.

[717] Like they just did it.

[718] Here's a funny thing.

[719] So they just did a study of like body cams on cops, right?

[720] They just did a study.

[721] And they said from the study, they see that cops treat black people that they pull over worse.

[722] than they treat white people.

[723] It's like, motherfucker, we've been trying to tell you that.

[724] But now it's only official when white people did the study.

[725] They're like, you know what?

[726] This thing is true.

[727] But motherfucker, we've been trying to tell you that shit is true for a long time.

[728] But that's just a part of it's like you're not covering anything that doesn't serve you.

[729] You know what I mean?

[730] You're not covering anything that's not covering anything that they're not.

[731] doesn't serve you anyway.

[732] Yeah, but they're news.

[733] They're not cops.

[734] I can understand, like, cops being racist.

[735] I get that.

[736] But if you're, if you're the news source, like, you have to just distribute the news.

[737] You can't selectively decide what people can and can't hear or what you focus on.

[738] You have to, and you should, but they never have.

[739] Well, they should.

[740] They never, they should, but they just never have.

[741] It's just more obvious now.

[742] What's really fucked up, that it isn't really getting nearly as much press as I think it should get, or people haven't really been talking about that much is how many people were concentrating on that white lady from Australia who got shot unnecessarily by the cop because she was a white lady from Australia.

[743] That, look, no matter what you say, what that is, is an, I mean, obviously it's a tragic accident because she was the one that called the cops and then they shot her, but you know how many times they've done that to other people?

[744] But that's my whole point.

[745] It's like the news serves.

[746] Remember we're talking about the scrolls and how you can't, If you found the scrolls, you can't help but make a story that is in your favor.

[747] Right.

[748] Like, I forgot the exact words you use, but it's just because, like, your perception is going to come through in this thing.

[749] To me, that's how the news has been all my life.

[750] Like, whoever owns the news makes news in their favor.

[751] That's always how it's been.

[752] Since William Randolph Hearst used to have Hearst publications.

[753] Yeah.

[754] So that, to me, the news has always been, even if it was, like, slightly inaccurate before, it's just being growingly not accurate.

[755] Yeah, but that drives people fucking crazy.

[756] I mean, that does because people, because, like, when I was a kid, like a stupid little kid, and I was watching the news.

[757] How stupid were you?

[758] It was just stupid enough to think, like, when somebody's telling me what's going on in the world, I'm like, the news is God.

[759] So you thought that it was all real?

[760] That was what you're saying?

[761] Yeah, like, just like a kid.

[762] Like, you don't know any better, but how do these people know everything?

[763] They're telling you everything.

[764] So you're kind of getting programmed to believe this shit.

[765] So people are getting programmed to believe Fox, MSNBC, CNN, and they don't know any better.

[766] And they're getting angry based on what they're being told.

[767] And we're not being told everything.

[768] We're not being told everything like you're saying.

[769] They're not showing both sides or everything.

[770] They're not, there's no reason for the people who own the news to be fair.

[771] That's true They just have to get people To pay attention They just want to get So their thing is How do I make money Right Gotta be outrageous We gotta be outrageous We gotta even now We gotta follow this Russia story And we gotta make money This is a soul proper This is game of thrones Going on On fucking TV This is like When Katrina They milked the shit out of Katrina And any tragedy And they're just milking this That's like every Like why Is everything coming out like all right so there was a meeting so then there was email so then like like it's almost as if somebody wrote a script and we're like today we're going to give you this part of it today we're going to give you this part of it like it's like it's unfolding like a tv show keeping people's interest in a lot of ways it is like that house a card show yeah it's like house of cards yeah yeah and almost even less believable like everybody was like in the house of cards spoiler um i can't even say i don't want to say what happens but But there's some moments on the show where people go, well, that would never happen.

[772] That's not who would get elected.

[773] Look at what the fuck is happening.

[774] The president's daughter is always behind him with a giant smile on her face.

[775] Every time he says anything and she's clapping today, it's like he's got his kids in there.

[776] His kids are running shit.

[777] And his kids are supposed to be running his company.

[778] He's supposed to be away from his company.

[779] But that's not.

[780] It won't even show his tax returns.

[781] The whole thing is so gangster.

[782] It's so Putin -esque.

[783] It's really fascinating.

[784] And now with this thing that's going on with Russia, I mean, who knows that might be just nonsense.

[785] They might just be posturing with each other.

[786] Meanwhile, they're doing deals behind the scenes.

[787] It's like, I'll tell you what I'm going to do, bro.

[788] What's what I do, bro?

[789] I'm going to kick the delegates out.

[790] I'm going to get pissed.

[791] And meanwhile, they're making some crazy deal to, like, tap into the oil in the Antarctica or some shit.

[792] Right.

[793] Like, they're kicking the delegates out, maybe, maybe to look like, to look like, hey, I'm not on.

[794] If I was a friend of Trump, I wouldn't kick these delegates out.

[795] Exactly.

[796] Maybe.

[797] Why would I kick the diplomats out?

[798] If I'm working with them.

[799] Come on, man. Come on, man. Yeah.

[800] Yeah, they're just going back and forth.

[801] Yeah.

[802] It's all so strange.

[803] It's just so strange that people could still rock it like that.

[804] Like, you still could be a dictator in 2017.

[805] That is one of the last remaining, like, archaic jobs.

[806] Like the one dude running everything.

[807] A guy with a giant army.

[808] Everybody keep it together.

[809] Keep it together.

[810] You could have a safe life.

[811] Right.

[812] Keep it together.

[813] Don't fucking push me just give me a little money right does it hurt you to give me a little money You can't give me 30 % of your money come on man give me 50 % of your money It's not the bigger deal that I mean that's that's what a lot of countries are stuck in right now You know and in in Russia the crazy thing is if it doesn't go well for you they just take your company They have these multi -billionaire oligarchs.

[814] They just lock these dudes up lock them up take the company Confiscate it just throwing a jail cell keeping there for a few years Game of Thrones.

[815] Then they'll let him out.

[816] Dude.

[817] I was watching this one documentary about this Russian guy who was, and he was, at first he was working with Trump.

[818] And somehow another he disagreed with Trump, not Trump, rather.

[819] Putin.

[820] Dude, that's like, that's some Freud shit.

[821] He was working with, I'm trying to remember the full story, but he had some sort of business arrangement with Putin.

[822] And then he tried to change it or he didn't want to accept new terms or whatever.

[823] They just locked his ass up.

[824] He opposed something that Putin wanted to do.

[825] I think I read about that guy.

[826] Yeah, sorry, dude.

[827] He complained.

[828] He protested.

[829] Sorry, dude.

[830] They put some charges on him.

[831] Yeah, they put some charges on him, threw him in jail.

[832] And who knows, man?

[833] They might, look, if you get to be some crazy multi -billionaire dude in Russia, they probably don't even let you in there unless you've done some fucked up shit with them.

[834] They probably like, listen, dude, like, you know, you got to drink vodka.

[835] Yeah.

[836] Putti with us.

[837] Come on.

[838] I mean, even on the lowest, level, you have to get jumped into a gang and you got to commit a crime to be a part of the gang.

[839] So they got to see you do some dirt to see you get it.

[840] If a gang would do that, why wouldn't a bunch of billionaires who have way more to protect?

[841] Yeah.

[842] Make you do some dirt with them.

[843] Do some dirt and also show that you're crazy enough to be down with them.

[844] Yeah.

[845] You like, yeah, I like you, but I need to know if you're loyal.

[846] You know what Ari told me they made his dad do in the Israeli army You raise a kitten You raise it You take care of it by yourself You pet it And then when it gets to be like a year old You gotta kill it In front of them with your bare hands Yeah grab it, snap its neck Just to show that you can do that I was like whoa A part of the game is that I was like whoa Just to show that you could shut it off Like you've got that ability To just shut it off Like you have this cat You love it You're gonna kill that thing With your hands Well, if you could do that, if they make you do that in the Army, why, why, you have to get co -signed to get into billionaire club?

[847] Yeah, you got to kill people.

[848] Like, you think, what do they do with, like, guys like Jeff Bezos, that Amazon guy?

[849] You ever see the photos of him?

[850] It's hilarious.

[851] The photo of him, like, when he first started out, like, 12 years ago.

[852] I heard about this, so I haven't seen it.

[853] Dorky.

[854] And then you look at him now.

[855] He looks like a fucking assassin.

[856] He's got sunglasses on.

[857] He's walking aggressive.

[858] He's on TRT.

[859] TRT.

[860] T RT.

[861] I heard he's got like a girl on each side of him or something like that.

[862] I'm sure.

[863] I mean, how much is he worth now?

[864] Look at him.

[865] He looks like a killer.

[866] Oh, shit.

[867] He literally looks like a guy.

[868] That's the hitman I just hired.

[869] That was like a former Navy SEAL that's coming over to give you advice on how to secure your corporation.

[870] You know, like he would show up at Apple and hire a bunch of hit men.

[871] That's him now?

[872] Is that what that is?

[873] He's a pretty fit guy.

[874] Yeah, now he is, yeah.

[875] But he seems like a fit guy, like he works out.

[876] See, well, there was a, but there was a before and after picture.

[877] Oh, man, goofy town.

[878] Okay.

[879] Yeah, he was a little goofy.

[880] But look, man, you figured out how to dominate online sales.

[881] I use Amazon .com all the time.

[882] There's him, and the Rock.

[883] I'm from Diesel, all three of them.

[884] It kicks him ass.

[885] The Rock was at the fights this weekend.

[886] You give him a hug.

[887] It's like hugging a tree.

[888] Damn.

[889] It's like a big tree.

[890] I wonder how much that dude weighs.

[891] Too big, bro.

[892] He's in the 250 range, for sure.

[893] Yeah.

[894] Yeah, for sure.

[895] He's gigantic.

[896] Like, you don't realize how big he is until you give him a hug.

[897] Big old friendly guy.

[898] But that guy gets bombarded, man. He can't go anywhere without taking pictures.

[899] Yeah.

[900] They just, they don't give a fuck if you're talking to them.

[901] They get in between you.

[902] They put their, they pop their head up and they hold their camera out.

[903] It's ridiculous.

[904] Like, people just, they don't give a fuck about decorum.

[905] or being friendly I'm getting this fucking picture with the rock It's my one chance Yeah they just swoop in man Anything for the gram man But it's weird It's like all your Normal etiquette Goes out the window Like the rock was sitting over there Talking to Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson Pound for pound Best Fighter in the world And they're talking back and forth And having a good time And this dude just swoops in between I'm on pops up And he's like Can I get a picture bro?

[906] Can I get a picture bro?

[907] and you know you see the rock is always being friendly he's amazing it's staying friendly but you know he's like god damn i can't even talk to the champ yeah yeah man i mean he he wants the followers he wants to yeah i guess he's a nice guy he's a real nice guy he's a real nice guy but that's giant you're done bro uh you know he needs to get bigger nah man you think you think he's done you think he's stop lifting yeah it's a project right if it's sculpture I mean where is he trying to go after this like what's left well he's trying to stay jacked and he's like 48 or some shit how old is the rock I would say he's about 48 he could take a week off no no no you can't that's the thing um 45 so he's 45 and he's jacked just ready jacked I mean he's jacked he's wants to keep that and he's only one way you got to do what he does That motherfucker's up every day.

[908] He does these, he'll make these videos when he shows up in places in, like, Germany.

[909] He's got to film some fucking movie.

[910] He's there at 5 o 'clock in the morning.

[911] They already have an elliptical machine in his, in his bed.

[912] Well, in his hotel room.

[913] He'll get like a suite.

[914] So they set up this elliptical machine in his suite, and he's out there banging it out at 5 o 'clock in the morning, doing an hour of cardio.

[915] I know him and Kevin Hart videos bug me. Do you make you feel lazy?

[916] They're just up working out.

[917] I know.

[918] They've done more by 7 a .m. than I'm going to do all day.

[919] Yeah, it's rude.

[920] And they're trying to motivate people.

[921] Like, hey, man, trying to sleep over here, bro.

[922] Scroll up, scroll up a little bit there.

[923] The one on the far right -hand side with him pulling that rowing machine right above that one.

[924] That's doing some rows.

[925] That dude's gigantic.

[926] That's a gigantic person.

[927] Poor roaring machine.

[928] Does not deserve this Yeah, but if you want to put these things up And get how many millions of views How many million views that have six Five million six hundred thirty nine thousand eight hundred and ninety -eight Of him of him showing off I'm just doing polls We get it you wake up in the morning But he's motivating people Sometimes like you'll be sitting at home And feeling like a lazy bitch Like I just want to chill today I don't feel like working out And you go see the rock just get chains wrapped around his neck He's doing chin ups and dips and screaming Yeah hitting tires with missiles Yeah it's weird He's a crazy man But those are the dudes that like You need to know that like as hard as you think you're working Drop one down from there that one with the other one I saw that one in jail Yeah look at that right there You need to know as hard as you think you're working You're not working that hard I know it's look at that guys jacked so if you if you think you've done everything you can to be prosperous in this wife and you need to go to the rocks instagram and shut your fucking hippie mouth and he'll fuck your day up you'll fuck your day up this is what you didn't do today and i know people are like well hey man i read a book today okay hey man i've been writing poetry all day hey man i've been writing songs.

[929] Okay, okay.

[930] But have you put the same amount of effort into being whatever you want as the rock has done in being the ultimate meathead?

[931] Whenever, it's hilarious, ultimate meathead.

[932] Look at this.

[933] Look at that.

[934] Look at the bar.

[935] It's got a chain.

[936] Chains on the side.

[937] Do you know why you have chains?

[938] It makes the end of the rep harder.

[939] Jesus.

[940] Because as you lift the chains up off the ground, less of the chain is being supported by the ground so it gets heavy and heavier as you lift your hands up higher.

[941] That's called hardcore, bro.

[942] I don't know if you boys are aware of how hardcore.

[943] Hardcore can get.

[944] That's how hardcore.

[945] That's how hardcore.

[946] Listen, when I want to feel bad about my day, I just go to the Rock's Instagram.

[947] It's a good move.

[948] I'd be like, shit.

[949] What's going on with this guy?

[950] For that new movie, Rampage, he has.

[951] This guy's going to be a gorilla.

[952] Oh, wow.

[953] Oh, so he's got like one of those suits on that.

[954] maps his movement.

[955] Video game suits.

[956] Isn't that weird that they still can't completely just fake it?

[957] They have to have a dude move around.

[958] They're getting close.

[959] I mean, that HoloLens stuff that we were talking about yesterday, they're just going to be able to wear those and see pretty much what they're going to, like the final CGI rendering.

[960] Like they can just act with that stuff soon.

[961] It's amazing what, you know, like I watched a Game of Thrones first episode and you know that that boat's not real.

[962] They don't really have that giant, massive, crazy looking boat.

[963] putting through the ocean that's not a real boat but god damn it looks like a real boat yeah that shit was crazy that attack was fucking bananas don't see nothing yeah don't say nothing yeah when you looking at these boats I mean the the the just the CGI it's just for a television show yeah they spend millions I guess it's like worth it for it spend film money on those episodes oh yeah each one is millions yeah yeah but I guess it's worth it right because that thing will sell forever yeah I like it it goes down today like it's also timeless like game of thrones is timeless like that'll be worth a shitload of money 10 years from now you know it's like the sopranos is timeless you know sopranos is timeless like if the sopranos like if you wanted to start watching the sopranos today it would be a great show yeah it's like the godfather of tv timeless but it's better than the godfather yeah there's italians all over over the country screaming at me you're fucking idiot you don't know shit the godfather's the greatest fucking movie the godfather's an amazing movie don't get me wrong but it's limited by its format it's limited by the fact that it's a movie even though you get godfather one and two sopranos was on for like what five years five years of episodes the depth that they can get into all the crazy shit that they could do it's just so different than any other movie or than any other form of media they could go off and talk about a gay member of the goddamn gang.

[964] They could do anything.

[965] They could do anything.

[966] He's a fear with a psychiatrist.

[967] Remember they killed that dude with a pool cue?

[968] Showed a pool cue up his ass?

[969] Crazy.

[970] The gay guy?

[971] Yeah, that was, the whole thing was weird, you know?

[972] It was like you're getting deep into the lives of these strange characters and the sociopaths and you kind of understand their angst.

[973] Because you start rooting for them.

[974] Yeah.

[975] Like even in the Americans, they're Russian.

[976] But you start rooting for them.

[977] want them to get caught you know you want them to and it's now i know you really are from another country maybe maybe but if you watch it watch a few episodes and see if you don't like start room for the russians this is how this is how i picture the show if it's perfect in perfect you find out five minutes into the show that they're russian spies uh FBI kicks the door down a bunch of white guys guns blazing pointed at them they immediately ship them to guantanamo bay and then put the house for sale yeah the house close for sale and they make a profit it off the house.

[978] The spy house.

[979] I wonder if they did a scan to the spy house.

[980] Find out if they scanned the spy house to find out what kind of spy shit they got.

[981] Because you know, Russia's not going to just let you have a spy house by yourself and you having parties.

[982] And we've called the other day to check in, we saw barbecue.

[983] You're having barbecue or are you working as spy?

[984] Which one?

[985] Which one?

[986] Can't be both.

[987] You turn an American.

[988] Is it barbecue time or spy time?

[989] You fuck!

[990] Get to spy.

[991] Yeah, so they probably, like, they got to be spying on the spies, for sure.

[992] Yeah.

[993] They're not going to trust some spy to just move to New Jersey, have a good time, start doing coke.

[994] They know you could get turned.

[995] Oh, for sure.

[996] Yeah.

[997] Why wouldn't you get turned?

[998] Over here, you could, like, do whatever the fuck you want.

[999] Mm -hmm.

[1000] Most people are not going to kill you.

[1001] Right.

[1002] You don't have to, but then you're, they know you're there.

[1003] So they'll just send somebody.

[1004] You won't even know who the person is.

[1005] It'll be like some La Femniquita chick comes over your house.

[1006] selling vacuums or something you open the door she shoots you in the dick right could be i just don't understand why they would use that strategy like they hire someone to pretend to be american fly them across the the world set them up go get information in montclair you got to watch the americans man it works yeah what kind of information they get that's my they uh so Spoiler.

[1007] I don't know.

[1008] There's this, so say there's the FBI, right?

[1009] So the husband puts on a disguise and starts dating the secretary of the director of the FBI.

[1010] Whoa.

[1011] So the husband, is your real husband?

[1012] They're married, right?

[1013] They were paired together.

[1014] Right.

[1015] They had two kids together in America.

[1016] For real.

[1017] Well, not in the show.

[1018] In the show.

[1019] In the show.

[1020] They had two kids together in America.

[1021] They run a travel agency and then...

[1022] On top of that, they're both spies.

[1023] On top of that, they're both spies.

[1024] So he gets to bang other chicks, like, baby, I gotta do this.

[1025] And she gets to bang other dudes.

[1026] God, damn, strong.

[1027] Like if there's a target, I like it.

[1028] If there's a target that they can get to emotionally, then they just do what they got to do.

[1029] And then sometimes they come home and he's like, did you fuck him?

[1030] Whoa.

[1031] And just to say, I did, duty for Russia.

[1032] I do duty.

[1033] And meanwhile, the both of them are falling in and out of love and getting jealous.

[1034] Oh, my God.

[1035] And then sometimes they like the people that they have to kill or, like, dispose off.

[1036] Good fucking show.

[1037] Yeah, man. It's so intricate.

[1038] Damn.

[1039] And then a neighbor just moved in, and he works with the FBI.

[1040] So then their kids go over to his house and his kids come over to their house.

[1041] and he doesn't know that they're Russian spies.

[1042] He's had hunches before.

[1043] Whoa.

[1044] So it's just, it's a crazy fucking show, man. Damn.

[1045] As good, better, or not as good as House of Cards?

[1046] I say better than House of Cards.

[1047] Oh, my goodness.

[1048] Oh, my goodness.

[1049] I don't even know.

[1050] Now I know you're a foreigner.

[1051] You're some kind of an agent yourself.

[1052] I've told you I was a foreigner.

[1053] Yeah, but now I know.

[1054] But I'm American foreigner.

[1055] As he pours his teeth.

[1056] Jesus Christ Who fuck are you Everything is a crime I'm pouring tea Who are you You don't even drink coffee You're barely American Bro I know I know You have the full foreign package Man you're in a soccer Yeah yeah Do you ever call soccer football When no No Americans are around Do you?

[1057] Do you like I say it when they're around Sometimes Do you really But I just say soccer Just so people know what I'm talking about.

[1058] That's what I was thinking.

[1059] You probably say football when you're around other people.

[1060] Yeah, if I'm talking to somebody from...

[1061] Sometimes I'm talking a friend from England and I'll say soccer.

[1062] And they'll get mad at you.

[1063] Nah.

[1064] I mean, some people have...

[1065] They'll correct it.

[1066] But it won't...

[1067] But it won't be a sticking point in the conversation.

[1068] It's a sticking point in America, right?

[1069] So you just stick with soccer.

[1070] Yeah, yeah.

[1071] You've never said football to me, but I always suspected it.

[1072] You were suspected.

[1073] This new something's going on.

[1074] I'm like, This mother.

[1075] fucker Like he's so into that game I know he uses the proper terminology When I'm not around Yeah Yeah Yeah Like someone would say you want to play billiards And I'll let it slide Okay All right And that's pool right Yeah not really Not really No pocket billiards is pool Right Billiards is a game that you play with no There's no holes in the table Ever see that game?

[1076] I think so There's like things in the table No there's well there's an attack version of it where they play they have these little pins you're thinking a bumper pool i think but three cushion billiards is a very strange game where and that used to be the premier game by the way back like in the willy hoppy days like way way way back in the you know i guess probably the turn of the century the turn of the 20th century they had thousands of pool halls and billiard halls in new york city but pool halls like where there's a hole in a table and The ball has to fall into the hole.

[1077] Those were thought to be, that's the game of ruffians and, like, dirtbags.

[1078] Gentlemen played billiards.

[1079] They played three cushioned billiards.

[1080] Now, it was actually a part of the scene in the movie The Hustler with Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason.

[1081] Paul Newman goes over this dude's house.

[1082] I forget the gentleman's name, but he's a very famous actor.

[1083] It's a great, great scene.

[1084] And they're supposed to gamble because this guy's a big fish, and he has this big mansion, and Paul Newman is this hustler.

[1085] He goes over the guy's mansion and the guy doesn't have a pool table.

[1086] He has a billiards table.

[1087] And the mob guy who's backing Paul Newman on the bet doesn't believe that he could beat this guy.

[1088] And so they have to figure out what to do because it's a totally different game.

[1089] But it was the game of gentlemen.

[1090] Three cushion billiards is a game where you have to hit a ball and then your ball has to go three cushions.

[1091] It means bounce into three rails and then come back and hit the other ball.

[1092] it's really crazy it's a it's an interesting game because it's all about angles you ever played it yeah i've played it but it's it's hard to do you have to really understand there's a lot of like factors that come into play here it is right here this is this is the actual game i've seen you do shit like that when you play pool yeah no i do i mean i i definitely move the ball around and i understand some angles but like this stuff like what this guy's doing right here this this This is, like, super complicated stuff to be able to...

[1093] How do you win this thing?

[1094] You just get a point.

[1095] Every time you get three cushions, like, see how he's doing this right here?

[1096] He's doing that, it bounced off the rail, it hits that, and then it's going to hit the other one.

[1097] Like, doing stuff like that on purpose.

[1098] I mean, they're doing it on purpose.

[1099] It's very difficult to do.

[1100] Like, you...

[1101] To really understand how...

[1102] I mean, sometimes you're going four and five and even six rails to make something do what you wanted to do.

[1103] Because that was the only option you had with the position.

[1104] of the ball in the table relative to the position of the ball you're trying to hit if you have to go three rails.

[1105] So you see like these crazy, tricky shots that these guys do where they're calculating the ball going three rails, hitting another ball, and then going two rails, and then hitting a third ball.

[1106] It's like crazy.

[1107] It's like the way they do it is amazing.

[1108] It's really amazing.

[1109] How many balls are on the table?

[1110] Three balls.

[1111] Three balls.

[1112] Three balls.

[1113] Yeah.

[1114] It's really, it's fascinating.

[1115] I never got into it because I would imagine that it would become addictive just like pools addictive, I don't have the time.

[1116] I just can't be fucking with some new thing to get addicted to.

[1117] Yeah, especially when you're going to start, you know, checking out some soccer.

[1118] I feel you.

[1119] Isn't this weird, though, how they do this?

[1120] See, he's going to hit that, and it's going to bounce up and hit the other one.

[1121] And they're planning this out.

[1122] That's what's interesting.

[1123] And the guys who are real good at it, a lot of times it translates very good into pool, too.

[1124] It seems like it would.

[1125] Yeah.

[1126] Well, they figure out how to move the ball better than other people.

[1127] There's a guy named Ephron Reyes, and he's widely considered to be probably the best pool player of all time.

[1128] And he plays this game really good.

[1129] He plays this game really good, and he plays another game that the Filipinos like to play called rotation.

[1130] And rotation is a game, like, you know how you play nine ball?

[1131] You can shoot one through nine.

[1132] You've got to shoot the balls in order.

[1133] Rotation, they do that with 15 balls.

[1134] What?

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] Filipinos are some of the best players in the world.

[1137] Oh, right.

[1138] And it's interesting because the game of billiards, pocket billiards, I should say, I guess regular billiards too, got brought to them during World War II when they had American GIs would be in the Philippines.

[1139] Right.

[1140] Apparently during the war, when people would go over there, they would set up pool tables and, you know, GIs would go to bars and they figured out how to play pool.

[1141] And it became a great thing for the Filipinos who love gambling.

[1142] Right.

[1143] They love gambling.

[1144] So they would just play pool and gamble all the time.

[1145] So some of the best players in the world have come out of the Philippines.

[1146] Like Manila has like some of the best players ever.

[1147] Like the top guys, like that guy, Ephron Reyes, he's from the Philippines.

[1148] Francisco Bustamante, one of the best of all time.

[1149] He's from the Philippines.

[1150] There's like you can keep going on and on and on and on and on.

[1151] There's a whole gang of these dudes, little tiny killers.

[1152] So never play pool against a Filipino.

[1153] That's what I'm learning.

[1154] They're real quiet, real friendly.

[1155] They'll smash you.

[1156] Damn.

[1157] Yeah, some of the best players in the world.

[1158] It's just a huge sport over there.

[1159] It's on television all the time over there.

[1160] Pool is like the first video game.

[1161] How's that?

[1162] Because it's a pool and billiards.

[1163] It's like a table and you go into a bar and it's there.

[1164] You put money in there and you start playing it.

[1165] Before there were graphics or programs or anything.

[1166] It's just a game.

[1167] It's like the first game you could play without before video games.

[1168] You know what I mean?

[1169] I know what you're saying.

[1170] It was like an arcade game, like darts.

[1171] Arcade, yeah.

[1172] And darts, yeah.

[1173] They would play, I think, I think they started calling it pool.

[1174] I know, actually, they started calling it pool because it was a gambling thing.

[1175] The thing was that they would pool their money together and bet on stuff.

[1176] And that's how pool got its bad name versus billiards.

[1177] Right.

[1178] But like darts, they must bet on darts, right?

[1179] Yeah, people would bet on darts, yeah.

[1180] Darts is a big sport in England.

[1181] Huge.

[1182] It's on TV.

[1183] I saw it on TV as there.

[1184] I saw Snooker.

[1185] Snooker, they call it.

[1186] Snooker is pool or something else?

[1187] Snooker is a totally different game.

[1188] And it's on a giant table.

[1189] Oh, right?

[1190] Yeah, a pool table is nine by four and a half, which means four and a half foot wide, nine foot long.

[1191] That's a real legit pool table.

[1192] There's also 10 by 5s.

[1193] 10 by 5 pool tables are just starting to make a comeback.

[1194] There's a company called Diamond, and they make a 10 by 5 now.

[1195] It's a big deal.

[1196] because like the real high -end players like the extra space of the 10 by 5 they think it makes you play a better game but snooker's 12 feet Jesus yeah it's 12 by 6 it's a giant fucking table and these dudes have a tiny little ball it's a tiny ass little ball it's way smaller than a pool ball and the holes are really tiny and the cut of the rails is very different like you can kind of rattle a ball into a pool table hole it'll kind of drop in but you have to hit like this is a snooker table Look at the size of this fucking table.

[1197] Now, this is Ronnie O'Sullivan, who's one of the greatest of all time, and he's a fucking wizard.

[1198] And this is the greatest game of Snooker ever.

[1199] It's called because he just, he does everything perfect, and he shoots his whole rack perfect.

[1200] But Snickers is a totally different game.

[1201] Like, see how the snooker, that goes in there, a snooker.

[1202] He shot the ball in, and then the ball comes back up again.

[1203] Comes back up.

[1204] Yeah, yeah, yeah, the black ball.

[1205] Oh.

[1206] Every time he shoots the black ball.

[1207] scratching.

[1208] No, you can scratch.

[1209] I just don't, I don't know the game.

[1210] I don't understand the game, but there's a bunch of points and all these different things that you're doing, but see how he knocks that black ball in.

[1211] After the black ball goes in, the guy pulls it out, and he puts it back in the spot, and then he has to shoot one of the reds again, and then after he shoots the red, then he goes and shoots the black again.

[1212] And every time he's doing it, see that stack of balls, he's trying to collide into those balls to open him up, and if he can open him up, then he can get it to a place where he can separate those balls and make them all.

[1213] So watch, he's going to make this red ball and then he's going to pound up.

[1214] Now, he's on an angle with that black ball.

[1215] So as he shoots that black ball in, he's going to smack into those other balls.

[1216] Bing, see that?

[1217] Right.

[1218] See?

[1219] Now, again, I don't know this game very well, but I understand Poole, so I see what he's doing with those balls.

[1220] I knew he was going to do that.

[1221] So now he's just going to pocket these balls in the side, but you're dealing with the tiniest little fucking hole.

[1222] And they have tiny little tips on their pool queues it's like you know it's sort of like a pool queue but it's all they're all made of ash which is very different than ash yeah ashwood whereas um most american pool cues that at least the shafts are made out of maple like there's a lot of weird variables like ash is very stiff but also very light so their game is very different but it's also very similar he's also thinking very fast oh he's a wizard yeah this guy's a super genius but But, like, I wouldn't have taken my second shot yet.

[1223] I know.

[1224] And he's, like, clearing the table.

[1225] He's doing this every day.

[1226] You've got to realize.

[1227] But you've got to think he's also extremely wealthy because of this game.

[1228] This is not a game like American pool.

[1229] This is a game, like, more akin to, like, golf in terms of, like, purses and how much money these guys can make.

[1230] At least it was at one point in time.

[1231] I think somehow or another has dried up.

[1232] I think, like, Snooker doesn't have the same respect that it used to have.

[1233] There's been also a few controversies in England.

[1234] or guys got busted talking to people about fixing games.

[1235] Oh, yeah.

[1236] And that gets ugly.

[1237] That old man is like the ball boy in tennis.

[1238] Exactly.

[1239] It's like grabbing the ball out the hole and putting it on the table.

[1240] But he does it with gloves on, like a gentleman.

[1241] Actually, the gloves have a purpose.

[1242] Oh, yeah.

[1243] The gloves are so your hand oils don't get on the ball.

[1244] Because the balls are made out of what's called phenolic.

[1245] It's like a type of, I think it's like a composite plastic.

[1246] And they're super hard.

[1247] Like if you touch those balls that are out there on that table, They were super hard.

[1248] And they used to make them with either clay or ivory back way back in the day.

[1249] A lot of times they made the cue ball with ivory, and then the other balls would be made out of clay.

[1250] Or sometimes everything would be made out of clay.

[1251] But they were like these dead balls that were really tough to move around.

[1252] And then when they figured out this phenolic stuff, you're dealing with these things that get super slick.

[1253] So the greases from your hands, if you touch a ball, the oils on your...

[1254] your hands will actually put a residue on the ball and it'll affect the way the ball moves throw the game off yeah so if you see dudes touching two balls and balls and you're playing pool like anybody who really knows how to play is going to go that's going to fuck everything up you get put your gloves on yeah or put a towel on and wipe them down yeah some like serious games they'll wipe every ball down uh after every rack in regular pool yeah like guys guys that are gambling they want that ball to respond a very particular way Like, because you get this, when you think about what pool is, right, you're taking a cue.

[1255] The average weight of a cue is about 19 ounces.

[1256] So it's a very light thing, a little over a pound.

[1257] And you're taking this thing and just by how hard you're hitting, you're trying to control the revolutions of a ball.

[1258] And also those revolutions after it collides with a ball and knocks it into a hole.

[1259] And then you're trying to control the revolutions, like literally within inches.

[1260] And you get a feel after you do it.

[1261] for a while you play for hours and hours especially after years and years of playing you get this feel where like the guy like that guy effron ray as i was talking about he could just put that ball wherever he wants it he makes a ball the ball goes whipsoops goes wherever he wants it and like you watch him play it's like you're watching an art form like it's if you know how hard it is to play the way that guy plays i know i suck so bad i know it's hard to play see the thing about sucking so bad though is maybe you don't even appreciate how crazy it is what he's doing.

[1262] I do.

[1263] If you can play a little bit, then you watch him, you just go, God.

[1264] Like, the people that really appreciate a guy like Effron Reyes, or Earl Strickland, for that matter, or any of these, like, world champion players, the people who really appreciate him are people that have played for a while.

[1265] Right.

[1266] You know how you say you don't have the time to learn billiards?

[1267] Yeah.

[1268] It's like, like, the times I play pool, or you play against somebody good, or you watch somebody play, you're like, yeah, that takes a lot of practice.

[1269] I don't have the time to get that good.

[1270] Yeah.

[1271] There's only so many hours in the day, man. You want to play golf?

[1272] Go play golf.

[1273] You're crazy.

[1274] If you want to start golf today, you must have, like, just extra time coming out of your ass.

[1275] Right.

[1276] That's like a nine -hour commitment.

[1277] Yeah.

[1278] You got to join a country club?

[1279] I know a dude who just joined a country club that costs a quarter of a million dollars a year.

[1280] What?

[1281] How often is he going?

[1282] That's what I'm saying.

[1283] What?

[1284] It costs a quarter of a million dollars a year.

[1285] it costs that and then you have to pay money when you go I'm sure you have to eat there you have to get equipment unless everything's free other than that you just go there and it's all free but that doesn't make sense I'm opening up a country club I think they just that's what we were talking about like the billionaire ballers club if you're a billionaire baller quarter million bucks ain't shit it's like if someone says hey Ian we want you to join the comedian's union it's $25 a year you're like what's 25 bucks yeah here you go 25 bucks and if you're a super baller $250 ,000 a year.

[1286] It's like, I'm going to be there.

[1287] You're going to run into other billionaires.

[1288] You're going to do business.

[1289] And you're going to make that money back.

[1290] Yes.

[1291] That's what I'm saying.

[1292] It's worth it.

[1293] It's a business move.

[1294] And you can write it off.

[1295] Because everybody there's a baller.

[1296] Right.

[1297] Right.

[1298] You're only around people who could afford a $250 ,000 a year membership to this shithole.

[1299] And the people at work there, they just want to keep their job.

[1300] They probably just probably pays good.

[1301] So they're just, hey, what do you want?

[1302] Here's your order.

[1303] Leave you alone.

[1304] You know what I don't get?

[1305] People that want to live on golf courses that don't play golf.

[1306] Oh, for real?

[1307] Yeah, like, hold on.

[1308] You don't play golf and you want to live on a golf course?

[1309] It does look beautiful.

[1310] It does look beautiful until some drunk assholes are playing golf right outside your bedroom.

[1311] There are people that live on golf courses.

[1312] Oh, yeah.

[1313] Where?

[1314] Dude, everywhere.

[1315] There's a lot of these places.

[1316] They're like gated communities that are on golf courses.

[1317] It's super common.

[1318] It's like the ultimate, I'm a baller statement.

[1319] You have a gated community.

[1320] that's a golf course, and you're a member of it.

[1321] There's a place out here.

[1322] It's called Lake Sherwood.

[1323] Oh, yeah?

[1324] Lake Sherwood Country Club.

[1325] It's amazing.

[1326] You go there, there's these beautiful houses, this amazing golf course.

[1327] Just everyone's so white.

[1328] It's incredible.

[1329] It's hilarious.

[1330] And they actually have their own lake.

[1331] There's a lake out there.

[1332] You can go bass fishing in it.

[1333] Oh, where?

[1334] Yeah, they have bass in there?

[1335] Largemouth bass in this lake.

[1336] Yeah, and it's a beautiful community.

[1337] And these people have these houses that are like on a golf course.

[1338] If it cost just a quarter of a mill to be a part of a golf club, how much does it cost to have a house?

[1339] Probably an exorbitant amounts.

[1340] On the golf course.

[1341] Millions, millions, dollars, for sure.

[1342] I mean, it's a wealthy community.

[1343] But I think that's when you get those sort of CEO dudes, they start moving into that, like, upper echelon of finance and cash.

[1344] They want to be surrounded.

[1345] by people just like them and just keep up it's like us wanting to be around other comedians yeah because i don't have any civilian friends really all all comedians yeah right now like i've been in it so long like not funny we call it civilians people get mad at that by the way they are they but people get mad at it like you like use military terms yeah that's what they harm man sorry it's funny thing that term like as soon you say to a comic they know what it is even if you're never use it around them before and they get it but yeah yeah they don't understand true debauchery yeah like do you think you get it you need to hang out with atheist ari safir yeah in amsterdam for a week i understand what the fuck is really going on yeah like when like if i'm around like a friend from high school and i say something even if the person that they just introduced me to laugh they said you gotta excuse him he's a comedian like none of my comedian friends would ever say no shit like that right like try to like make an excuse for something that they feel uncomfortable about that I said you know what that comes from where human resources that comes from like office rules you want to keep that job you got to keep your behavior right check you can't be yourself right I mean how many people just live out there under a vice just a vice of just repression right can't laugh around can't joke around about shit Yeah, and I take that for granted because what I do, I can say whatever I want.

[1346] Sometimes I think I'm not saying enough based on the other people that are saying shit to me. Yeah.

[1347] I mean, imagine if you're in an office with 50 people and you hate 10 of them.

[1348] And one of them is your boss.

[1349] Right.

[1350] Oh.

[1351] And there's a bunch of attention seeking dipshits in the staff taking credit for other people's work.

[1352] You can't say anything.

[1353] Oh.

[1354] Oh.

[1355] Just go home and complain to your wife.

[1356] They live in hell.

[1357] or your husband or whatever so many people live in hell how many people live in hell like that just stuck all day with dipshits saying dumb things but that's why people listen to your podcast like it's there it's like when you watch a like somebody on TV you watch a James Bond movie and he's doing things that you can't do like just having a podcast where you say whatever fuck you want and just living like people live in office you get to live through you you know what I mean through your podcast it's a lot of pressure no just to keep doing what you're regularly doing it's a lot of pressure I'm feeling pressure you got to be careful all that pressure yeah and that's why you know that's why that's why it's probably why Trump is so popular because he's the first president to just talk shit like it's truly a powerful thing Like, first, when you're the powerful man, most powerful man in the world, you're censored.

[1358] But this is the first uncensored, most powerful man in the world.

[1359] He's truly exuding his power on a don't give a fuck level.

[1360] Well, he gives a little bit of a fuck, but not enough of a fuck to change.

[1361] Yeah, he only gives a fuck if he gets dinged a little bit.

[1362] But he doesn't pull back.

[1363] He just, he swats back defensively in a way that a listener would want to swat back defensively at work but still can't because they have Trump seems so less worried about his job and more like I'm just going to be me and that's it or when Chappelle quit the Chappelle show like a lot of people found freedom in that that's why he's so mythical oh for sure yeah yeah yeah that's a good point like a lot of people make 50 million dollars but how many people you know turn down 50 million dollars there's fewer of those yeah you know just one just one yeah and he also didn't do stand -up in any scheduled performance for years he just would show up places yeah and he still does that like so he just uses that i'm gonna show up this place yeah and then they put out an email or however he just shows up i told you about when i was in denver oh yeah yeah just showed up yeah i go to the green room dave's in there i go what are you doing man hey jo rogan yeah he that's his way i guess of just being free free yeah do it The only thing that he has scheduled is the Radio City thing.

[1364] And that's because, I guess, it's Radio City.

[1365] You have to schedule it.

[1366] What does he do?

[1367] He's like, does a regular show there?

[1368] He's going to do, he did it a few years ago.

[1369] Now he's going to do like maybe a week and a half or two weeks of shows there.

[1370] And he's going to have guests on it, like musical guests, comics some days.

[1371] Oh, I like it.

[1372] That's amazing.

[1373] It's going to have a comics ball party.

[1374] That's a great idea.

[1375] Yeah.

[1376] That's a great idea.

[1377] Wow.

[1378] Yeah, I mean, he does represent what we all consider to be.

[1379] be like the highest standard of a real comic artist.

[1380] Right.

[1381] You know, and when, uh, you get together with a group of comedians and you look at like, uh, who's like doing it the right way.

[1382] Right.

[1383] I mean, there's other ways to do it that are really like more commercially successful.

[1384] Like Louis is more commercially successful in terms of like constantly chasing it down.

[1385] But Dave is just also has that mythical quality to it as well.

[1386] Like you were talking about turning down the 50 million.

[1387] That has a big factor in how we look at it, too.

[1388] That's his biggest TV credit.

[1389] It's turning down.

[1390] Turning down.

[1391] Yeah.

[1392] And also, like, walking away from the greatest sketch show, the world's ever known.

[1393] That is still, to me, in my eyes, the greatest sketch show of all time.

[1394] Yeah, had a lot of funny that shit on there.

[1395] Oh, as far as, like, hit or miss?

[1396] Right.

[1397] It's the best ever.

[1398] Right.

[1399] Like, you can't compare...

[1400] Like, Saturn Live has some great sketches.

[1401] But there's a lot of turds in there, too.

[1402] Yeah, mostly turns.

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] Just over the accumulation of years, yeah, it's got a lot of bullshit.

[1405] And that's also because of the format.

[1406] I mean, they're trying to come up with a new show every week.

[1407] It's brutal.

[1408] It's, you know, it's also like when I was talking to Phil Hartman, when he had just come from Saturday Night Live and he was on news radio, he was talking about how competitive it is there.

[1409] Yeah, it is.

[1410] Backstabby.

[1411] Yeah.

[1412] This is like, infighting and all this.

[1413] And everyone's fighting to get their stuff on the air.

[1414] I was like, ooh.

[1415] I was like, I don't.

[1416] And they don't care if it's the best or funny.

[1417] Like, where I could backstab somebody with a good sketch to get my okay sketch on, so I get some.

[1418] some time some shine fuck it well listen if you look at all the people that have been on Saturday Night Live right how many of them you're like that guy was on Saturday Night Live there's a lot there's a lot there's a lot of Saturday Night used to be holy shit it's Dan Akroyd it's Gilda Radner it's John Belushi it was people that were giant Chevy Chase people that were giant because they were on Saturday Night Live if you were on Saturday Night Live you fucking made it man right right now it's maybe what one out of ten that you even know who the fuck they are after they leave yeah there's a lot of like ex satirite live people how about darrell hammond darrell hammond was on saturday live for a long time fucking time but if you come up to the average person and say he's a funny comic right do you remember darrell from new york yeah i remember darrell it's a funny guy man before saturday live but it didn't translate into like big movies or a lot of stuff you know And that guy was really good.

[1419] Right.

[1420] I mean, he was in some really good sketches.

[1421] Tim Meadows.

[1422] Whatever happened to Tim Meadows?

[1423] He's doing stand -up and he gets jobs, but he's not big like he was when he's on S &L.

[1424] There was a time, right?

[1425] I know.

[1426] There was a time when him and Farrow were kind of like neck and neck.

[1427] Yeah.

[1428] It's like they both leave S &L and.

[1429] What happened?

[1430] He was in like a couple of duds.

[1431] Yeah.

[1432] What was that one cool guy movie who was in?

[1433] Oh, yeah.

[1434] The ladies man. Ladies man. Ladies man. That one killed it.

[1435] Yeah.

[1436] Like, S &L is like a record deal.

[1437] It's like, when you get out, you drop your first album.

[1438] Yeah.

[1439] If it doesn't hit.

[1440] It's a rap.

[1441] Show business would be Stone Colds.

[1442] Yeah, look at him, man. Ladies, man. He was funny in this movie, too.

[1443] And that was his character on SNL, right?

[1444] Which means it's not even his movie.

[1445] Like, Lauren gets the, he gets all the movies.

[1446] Like, you create a character on S &L.

[1447] It's like, oh, bitch, that's my movie.

[1448] I think you can't just do it on your own.

[1449] And then you get cut loose and then it's like, well, good luck.

[1450] I mean, how many of them are there?

[1451] How many, like, really successful comedians have come from SNL versus how many have been on?

[1452] Right.

[1453] Probably crazy numbers, right?

[1454] Yeah, here's the list of almost everyone that's ever been on it, I think.

[1455] Whoa.

[1456] There's a lot of people.

[1457] Oh, it even keeps going.

[1458] Oh, well, there's probably hundreds of people that have been on forever.

[1459] But there's guys like Chris Catan.

[1460] Man, he's doing stand -up now.

[1461] I forgot Al Franken was on it.

[1462] Oh, shit, yeah.

[1463] He's a senator now?

[1464] Yeah, and he want, people want him to run for president.

[1465] Joe Piscopal, that's right.

[1466] He was the Jersey guy.

[1467] I'm from Jersey.

[1468] Are you from Jersey?

[1469] I know.

[1470] Where's Rachel Drak?

[1471] She was tempted.

[1472] She was killing it.

[1473] Garrett Morris.

[1474] Yeah.

[1475] Yeah, there's a lot of them, man. You forget.

[1476] Janine Garoflo was on SNL?

[1477] Oh, shit.

[1478] I didn't know that.

[1479] I totally forgot that.

[1480] That's right.

[1481] Gilbert Godfrey.

[1482] Dennis Millie.

[1483] Oh, Gilbert got for sure.

[1484] Molly Shannon.

[1485] Whatever the happen of Molly Shannon.

[1486] I know, she was huge on there.

[1487] She was huge off of there.

[1488] Remember she had a bunch of movies?

[1489] Yeah.

[1490] What happened to her?

[1491] I think one of the movies bombed.

[1492] She had like two when they bombed.

[1493] That's all it takes.

[1494] They're done with you.

[1495] Death.

[1496] I didn't know Sarah Silvermore was on SNL.

[1497] Yeah, she was for a little bit.

[1498] I don't know anything.

[1499] I really, barely, barely, barely pay attention.

[1500] But yeah, that's, I mean, if you look at, like, all -time sketch shows.

[1501] I mean, S &L had to do a live one every week.

[1502] They had to do all new material every week, do it in front of studio audience, do it live on television.

[1503] A lot of impediments.

[1504] But as far as overall quality, best one ever, Chappelle Show.

[1505] Chappelle.

[1506] You know what number two might be in living color?

[1507] Yeah.

[1508] People forgot about it in living color.

[1509] Yeah, that was hilarious.

[1510] And also, shocking.

[1511] Shocking.

[1512] Handyman?

[1513] They had a handicapped superhero?

[1514] What?

[1515] You couldn't do that today ever.

[1516] You can do that.

[1517] Fire Marshal Bill.

[1518] Get a fuck out of here.

[1519] You can't do that.

[1520] Oh, man. That's, that's, that's just timing.

[1521] When I think about that time, it's just timing.

[1522] It's like, King's going to do a sketch show.

[1523] He's at the comedy store.

[1524] His brother's there.

[1525] Fucking Jim Carrey's there.

[1526] David Adam Greer's around free.

[1527] Killers.

[1528] And you're just killers, like just waiting for a shot.

[1529] They all get together.

[1530] David, what's his name?

[1531] What's it?

[1532] Skinny guy, Tommy Davidson.

[1533] Tommy Davidson, yeah.

[1534] Like, there's all this talent, just needing a shot.

[1535] And a fly girl, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lopez.

[1536] Wow.

[1537] And the other Puerto Rican leader of the Fly Girls.

[1538] I forgot her name right now.

[1539] Rosie Perez?

[1540] Rosie Perez.

[1541] Like, look how much shit came out of that show.

[1542] Crazy.

[1543] Even afterwards, Jamie Fox came on.

[1544] Just, careers that are still going, man. And then there was Mad TV, where you'd watch Matt TV would be on like season 10 you'd be like that show's still on here what the fuck but mad TV had a bunch of great sketches too people just forgot yeah they had really good innovative sketches too and that was like when people were comparing inside amy schumer like a lot of the shows they were saying a lot of the episodes they were saying were ripped off they thought were ripped off from mad TV but part of that is because you run out of premises like didn't simpsons like South Park always used to joke around about like Simpsons.

[1545] They had episodes called Simpsons already did it.

[1546] Yeah, yeah.

[1547] Yeah, because the Simpsons did everything.

[1548] Yeah, you're stealing from yourself because you've got new writers.

[1549] Yeah.

[1550] There's like, since it's been on what, 20 years?

[1551] Maybe longer.

[1552] South Park's been on 20 years now.

[1553] So somebody who's been writing...

[1554] I think the Simpsons were around in the 80s.

[1555] Yeah, they might have been.

[1556] It's close to 30 years for sure.

[1557] Yeah.

[1558] So somebody who's been writing on the Simpsons five years, just five years, which is a long time.

[1559] can come up with a premise that was did in year 10 of the Simpsons and not know.

[1560] And everybody there, they might have forgot and just, fuck it, let's do it.

[1561] Yeah, it doesn't matter as long as you can do it.

[1562] Yeah.

[1563] Right.

[1564] It's like, yeah.

[1565] No one's, I mean, there's got to be someone, but no one can probably recall every episode of The Simpsons.

[1566] Right.

[1567] I'm probably wrong.

[1568] There's probably some real super fans out there that can do it.

[1569] I'm sure.

[1570] You do.

[1571] There you go.

[1572] Jamie's like, I've got dinks in my blood.

[1573] But I know people that can't.

[1574] Yeah.

[1575] No, for sure.

[1576] Yeah, it seems like you get to a certain number of episodes of things.

[1577] For sure, they've covered virtually at least close to every subject.

[1578] But maybe not.

[1579] You know?

[1580] But the thing about cartoons, though, is that you could just do anything.

[1581] It's so much more beautiful in terms of, like, what you can get away with, kill people.

[1582] They come back to life next week.

[1583] You know, I have to explain it.

[1584] Right.

[1585] You know, like South Park can do anything.

[1586] thing.

[1587] They can do any, and their animation is so crude and simple, they can whack together a show in a matter of minutes.

[1588] Yeah, they can, if something happened today, they can put a show up tomorrow.

[1589] They literally could.

[1590] Yeah.

[1591] I mean, I'm sure they're such a well -oiled machine now, too.

[1592] And then I think those guys work ethic is just insane.

[1593] Yeah.

[1594] Yeah, they're the Tray Parker guys off the charts.

[1595] Yeah, they got rock work ethic.

[1596] Yeah.

[1597] Like, they're in there.

[1598] With their brain.

[1599] Yeah.

[1600] With their brain, yeah.

[1601] I wonder what that's about.

[1602] Like, what keeps a person going that hard for so long.

[1603] I know.

[1604] Like, because it can't be the money.

[1605] I wonder.

[1606] I mean, it's got to be the creativity.

[1607] It's just got to be, like, just seeing the finished product.

[1608] But they're also, like, very socially responsible.

[1609] You know, like, they'll, they'll shit on people and things go bad in the news.

[1610] Right.

[1611] And they'll, they'll come after people.

[1612] Right.

[1613] I like that about them.

[1614] I do, too.

[1615] Yeah, man. Well, that Carl Spencea, Kanye West, Fish Sticks episode.

[1616] like Jesus Christ And that was when he was on Comedy Central There was like, whoa They went hard And Team America, World Police They do that on the side Like what?

[1617] Yeah, and the Book of Mormon Yeah Yeah, just Super creative guys Hey man Makes you feel lazy Yeah There's a lot of people out there Apparently make me feel lazy So your schedule Yeah You keep going Like how the fuck is he doing this shit Coffee Coffee.

[1618] Got to have coffee.

[1619] Some deep -seated desire to figure things out.

[1620] I don't know.

[1621] I wonder.

[1622] I'd like to do a lot of shit that's not work -related, too.

[1623] I've been in more towards doing more of that lately.

[1624] I think that after a certain point in time, I can't keep doing three things.

[1625] Can't keep working for the UFC doing a podcast and doing stand -up.

[1626] I'm going to have to chop it down to two or one.

[1627] Someday, let me just stand -up.

[1628] Occasionally.

[1629] occasional standup occasional stand -down you mean you get to a certain point do you want to just I don't know I guess stand -up I don't really have a burnout feeling because I always create new stuff every couple of years and it's always about putting it together but I mean how many more years you're going to want to do that yeah like so what's like what's your ultimate like later on future goal let's say even five years from now like what do you think would make you happy doing that's the part of the problem I don't have any goals.

[1630] I have zero goals.

[1631] This is my goal.

[1632] Do the best stand -up I could do.

[1633] Try to do the best podcast I can do.

[1634] Do the best job when I'm doing commentary.

[1635] Just do the best I can do while I'm doing it.

[1636] Enjoy it.

[1637] That's simple enough.

[1638] Yeah.

[1639] That's it.

[1640] I don't really have like, you know, I want to make X amount of money or do this amount.

[1641] I don't.

[1642] I just don't want it to suck.

[1643] Right.

[1644] My whole motivation is don't put anything that sucks.

[1645] Put out things that people enjoy.

[1646] Figure out a way to make it enjoyable.

[1647] do put all your effort into it do it because i know that if i don't do that i will feel like shit right i know if i like have a show that's not so good and we've all had those or a podcast is not so good i've definitely had those it just don't it does not feel good right they don't always come out perfect there's no way around that right especially like when we're doing these live shows man live shows have so many variables the time of the show how tired the audience is how tired you are how you've been traveling are you sick right you know um there's so many things that can affect like how your performance comes out even if you like consciously try to pump yourself up i've had some bad shows when i when i wasn't feeling good that's hard right when you just don't have the energy or the feeling in the bits the same because you're feeling sick well you know bad shows help you get better shows oh yeah that's what they're for you know They're like, all right, you didn't do this, do this next time, didn't do that, work on that, you know.

[1648] Also, the sick feeling of like, I don't like a really good show.

[1649] I don't even like a show that's like, that was pretty good.

[1650] Oh, yeah.

[1651] I don't even like that.

[1652] Like, if it's like, that was pretty good, I was like, ugh.

[1653] Are we talking stand up?

[1654] Why isn't it better?

[1655] Yeah.

[1656] I'm always like, why isn't it better?

[1657] Why isn't it like my best show ever?

[1658] My last show might have been my best one ever.

[1659] Why isn't this one, my new best one ever?

[1660] Different audience, different place, venue.

[1661] I know, but I mean, that's, I feel.

[1662] think that's my motivation.

[1663] That's what keeps me going, like, trying to figure out how to wait a...

[1664] And then also, trying to figure out what to do with my material.

[1665] Like, should I be writing more stuff here?

[1666] So I'd just be honing this down.

[1667] Like, how do I approach...

[1668] Should I toss some of this aside and throw some new stuff in there and then bring it back?

[1669] And, you know, it was constantly trying to...

[1670] You know, like, when you were creating something, like, when you created your CD, don't you get that feeling sort of where you're like, okay, I got to kind of engineer this a little, but I also got to kind of like let it be itself.

[1671] Right.

[1672] Like I just, I'm like that kind of before I start doing a joke.

[1673] Like if I'm doing a joke and I'm like, or if I think of a joke, like, my elimination process of what I should or shouldn't do starts before I start doing the joke.

[1674] So if the joke fits into my criteria, then I start doing it.

[1675] So then I'm not wasting time.

[1676] I don't feel like I'm wasting time from the beginning.

[1677] Like, I think creatively, like, I try to do the things that I really like to talk about.

[1678] So then I don't have to worry about later on looking at the whole thing as much and saying, I got to lose this and I got to lose that.

[1679] Right.

[1680] So I start early.

[1681] So then the things that I'm talking about, I'm already feeling them.

[1682] Right.

[1683] It's just sometimes when you hold on to things a long time and you're doing them for a long time.

[1684] You don't feel it anymore.

[1685] Then you don't feel it anymore.

[1686] And the audience tells you you're not feeling it anymore based on the reaction you get now and from when the reaction you used to get and you could feel that thing getting tired.

[1687] That's why I always say that stand -up is in some sort of a mass hypnosis.

[1688] It's very similar.

[1689] It's not like someone's tricking you or telling you what to do or going to get you to quit smoking.

[1690] Not in that way.

[1691] But when a guy's on stage, Like, if I'm in the back of the room and I'm watching you and you're killing, one of the things that's really funny is I start thinking the way you're thinking.

[1692] When you, you know, you crack a joke about something.

[1693] It's like, I'm in your groove.

[1694] I'm letting you do all the thinking for me. Like, if you watch a really good comic, like, if I'm watching you, if I'm in the back of the room and I'm watching you, I don't have any, I just let you do all the thinking.

[1695] Because I know you know you know you know what you're doing.

[1696] I know you're going to take it down a funny place.

[1697] It's going to be great.

[1698] Here we go.

[1699] And just let it happen.

[1700] But the moment.

[1701] that you don't trust that person anymore.

[1702] The moment they fuck up or something goes weird and the spell gets broken, you know?

[1703] Right.

[1704] And then you're like, oh, that guy just fucked up that joke.

[1705] This joke sucks now.

[1706] This joke's not good.

[1707] I'm not going to let them think for me anymore.

[1708] Oh, this subject's terrible.

[1709] Oh, this subject's just gross.

[1710] I was just trying to get noises out of me now.

[1711] You know?

[1712] Yeah, you got to earn the audience's trust to let you co -pilot the evening.

[1713] 100%.

[1714] And take over.

[1715] Yeah.

[1716] And just relax and listen to you.

[1717] And you could tank it and you bring it back.

[1718] That's possible too, as long as you're like real honest about what's happening.

[1719] Yeah, yeah.

[1720] Like just when Montreal, we did a show before.

[1721] So we have a, you know, your warm -up show.

[1722] So we're going to tape the LOL thing.

[1723] And so they give you a warm -up show.

[1724] So I started.

[1725] So you have eight minutes.

[1726] And there's other comics on the show.

[1727] So in the first, I don't know.

[1728] even know what jokes I'm going to do for the LOL thing because everybody's like what is the LOL thing it's like Kevin Hart's new network oh okay and then you're going to do it a eight minute segment on it it's a network yeah it's a network what's you going to put it on I think it's on the internet oh okay yeah so there's a L o it so it's a whole like internet channel and it's all comedy so he's doing scripted he's taping like stand -up shows with a host and there's people who I have half an hours on it.

[1729] So I just went to do like an eight -minute segment.

[1730] And during the warm -up show, some chick was just talking in the beginning of my set.

[1731] Talking to you or just talking?

[1732] Talking to a girlfriend.

[1733] So then the first joke went well.

[1734] But then I had to stop and say, are you going to shut the fuck up?

[1735] And we should, you know what?

[1736] I'm going to have you kicked out.

[1737] And nobody in the club moved.

[1738] And she's like, no, you're not.

[1739] What?

[1740] Yeah.

[1741] She said, no, you're not.

[1742] I said, all right, we'll see.

[1743] We're going to have you kicked out.

[1744] And I said, who's running this shit?

[1745] And this is the eight, this is the, I only have eight minutes.

[1746] Right.

[1747] And I got to get back on track.

[1748] She said, no, you're not?

[1749] Yeah, several times.

[1750] Wow.

[1751] So she could thought she could just talk.

[1752] Yeah, she could talk.

[1753] And you know what?

[1754] The club did not kick her out.

[1755] You had to do your whole set with her sitting there?

[1756] Yeah.

[1757] But I got them back on track because they did want her.

[1758] shut up and she did shut up but the defiance I've never and in some Canadian comic later on I was like you know what you should write the club because we have this problem in the club every time but if you write a letter to the owner and tell them they never have security here and probably what club is this it was a comedy nest oh in Montreal in Montreal yeah I've been in that spot before does the comedy work still there the little tiny spot I think it's still there that place amazing yeah it's like a place upstairs yeah it's just like a little fucking room a hot box dude it is like 80 people yeah like maybe i did a one man show in there like two years ago did like an hour in there it was fucking amazing yeah Montreal's an interesting place you know it's a funny thing too like during the festival it's like uh it becomes like this uh really intense environment for comedians a lot of pressure people go there to be seen go there to make deals people get development deals and shit from Montreal it's a weird weird thing you gotta go to another the country, go into a country that doesn't even speak English.

[1759] I mean, in Quebec, they would English country that refuses to speak English.

[1760] Yeah.

[1761] Well, that one section, one section.

[1762] But it is kind of like visiting another land.

[1763] It doesn't feel like, like if you go to Toronto, it might as well be Detroit or something.

[1764] I mean, it's a nice city, but I mean, a little nicer than Detroit, I guess.

[1765] Sorry, Detroit.

[1766] People get mad.

[1767] What?

[1768] Detroit's amazing.

[1769] Come on, bro.

[1770] But, okay, let's say Chicago.

[1771] Might as well be Chicago.

[1772] Might as well be.

[1773] I mean, it's just another big city.

[1774] It doesn't doesn't feel like you're in another world right if you go to Montreal you feel like you might as well be in Europe yeah because people start instantly talking to you in French yeah and then then they realize you don't know any French and then start talking English without a French accent yeah like how do you know another language how do you know I get you knowing another language but how do you do it without an accent yeah how do you do it that good how do you sound straight up English speaking English yeah how do you sound straight up French without the English interruption in your French accent.

[1775] It's crazy.

[1776] How do you?

[1777] Yeah.

[1778] How do you?

[1779] Good switch.

[1780] Yeah, I haven't been to Montreal in a while, man. Was there like for a UFC, maybe a year ago or so?

[1781] I need to get back up there.

[1782] Yeah, the women are beautiful there, man. It's an amazing place.

[1783] It's an amazing place.

[1784] Cold as fuck in the winter.

[1785] Yeah, I don't fuck with it in the winter.

[1786] I used to do winters up there.

[1787] It's like a headline.

[1788] I've done shows up there in the winter, but.

[1789] It's like in and out.

[1790] Like, they said to do shows at black shows at this club called Club Soda.

[1791] Yeah, I know Club Soda.

[1792] I used to work there.

[1793] Yeah, it was dope.

[1794] Yeah, that was a nice room.

[1795] Yeah, it was a nice spot, yeah.

[1796] That's whenever I used to do the festival, I used to do Club Soda.

[1797] I did it with Ari.

[1798] Oh, shit.

[1799] Yeah, Club Soda's great, man. I did the comedy from the Danger Zone with Dom Iera there from Showtime and from Club Soda too.

[1800] They taped it.

[1801] Way back in the day.

[1802] Yeah, way back in the day.

[1803] Dom Irara and I met in Munch.

[1804] Montreal.

[1805] Montreal's a great festival, man. It's like, we call it like a comedy convention.

[1806] Summer camp, you know, for comics.

[1807] Like, you talk about just all the comics pretty much in the same hotel or spread out throughout a few hotels.

[1808] And you're just hanging out, laughing, having fun in the lobby.

[1809] Everybody goes off to their shows.

[1810] Some people come to your shows.

[1811] You're just, you're just having fun, man. You're working.

[1812] How many days is it go?

[1813] uh it starts like two weeks it's like yeah it's almost like two weeks because they start like the ethnic show and some other shows a week of course but then last week was like the last week was like the last like the full full on like regular week the last week is yeah yeah it's um there's not another one they tried to do a couple other ones they used to have an aspen one which is really good yeah that shut down yeah you know why because those fucking executives they would just go skiing all day they didn't really want to watch the shows right Then you go to the shows, it'd be tired of fuck because there's no air and they've been skiing all day.

[1814] Yeah.

[1815] You ever been to Aspen other than that?

[1816] Yeah, and I caught the flu up there.

[1817] The worst floor ever had.

[1818] At the festival?

[1819] Yeah, because it was going around.

[1820] Oh.

[1821] And I was sick, and I had to tape a TV show, and I mustered up enough energy to do the taping, and then I just slept in bed for, like, two days.

[1822] Whoa.

[1823] And then I had to check out of my hotel at 11, but my flight wasn't until like 7.

[1824] Oh, shit.

[1825] So I'm like, I'm like the worst flu ever that I've ever had.

[1826] And you had to fly with it.

[1827] I had to fly with it.

[1828] And when I checked out, this is how bad I was.

[1829] When I checked out at 11, the guy looked at me and I told him my flight was at 70s, like, I'm going to give you a room so you could sleep in.

[1830] Oh, wow.

[1831] Until your flight.

[1832] That saved my life.

[1833] Wow.

[1834] And I slayed down for like maybe three hours.

[1835] Did it help?

[1836] It helped.

[1837] It helped me enough to have enough energy.

[1838] And then you're at the airport, and I think the flight got delayed.

[1839] So now I'm like in the airport, worst flu ever for like two hours.

[1840] When your immune system is compromised like that too, it's amazing how little energy you have.

[1841] Yeah.

[1842] Like when people don't, that's like a cliche that health is the most important thing.

[1843] You're like, fuck up, bitch.

[1844] Money's the most important thing.

[1845] The fuck out of here with your health.

[1846] I'll be coughing, counting my cash, feeling great.

[1847] Not true.

[1848] Health is everything.

[1849] If you just feel a little shitty, just a little shitty, it markedly changes the way you look at life.

[1850] If you cut your thumb, right, that changes your whole day.

[1851] It could, right?

[1852] Especially if it gets infected.

[1853] Yeah, that changes your whole.

[1854] If you stub your toe and that shit hurts, it changed.

[1855] Like, any little thing could change your whole day, like health -wise.

[1856] Stopping your toe.

[1857] Don't be a bitch, bro.

[1858] Nah, but, you know, like, you know, like some type of hurt or you cut or just something.

[1859] Any injury.

[1860] Like a headache.

[1861] Yeah.

[1862] Changes everything.

[1863] Yep.

[1864] Yeah.

[1865] And surgery.

[1866] Yeah.

[1867] And my buddy's wife got rotator cuff surgery.

[1868] Just fucked up for weeks, apparently.

[1869] Just, ah, can't put your shirt on.

[1870] Agony.

[1871] I was like, oh, no, that doesn't sound good.

[1872] Yeah, anytime something goes wrong.

[1873] But I think, like, overall health and wellness is so fucking important.

[1874] Yeah, for sure.

[1875] It's so important.

[1876] It's like there's so many people out there that just don't take care of their meat wagon.

[1877] You got to, you got to take care of your meat vehicle.

[1878] You have to.

[1879] You just And what's really crazy to me Like people that I know That don't take care of their body And then they talk about being depressed It's like what did you think?

[1880] You think you just pour shit down your hole And you would feel good Right Like just no sleeping Tons of cigarettes Tons of booze And you thought you'd feel good Right You're shocked right I don't know why I feel sick You don't I just been feeling with shit lately Doing the same thing over and over again Taking drugs Wow It's hilarious Did you see What the Health?

[1881] I watched a doctor's response to what the health.

[1882] I watched this because I heard it was like some crazy vegan propaganda.

[1883] It's not based on science at all.

[1884] They're trying to say that fat causes diabetes and fat is clogged up.

[1885] And doctors that have looked at it, there's been a ton of debunkers online that have looked at it.

[1886] They said, this is pseudoscience.

[1887] This is not real.

[1888] Definitely a vegan diet can be healthy.

[1889] Definitely taking a lot of vegetables.

[1890] can be really good for you.

[1891] And definitely, it's good to have nutrient -rich foods, whether it's fresh vegetables or whatever you want to eat.

[1892] And you could absolutely, if you're careful and you're smart about your saturated fats and unsaturated fats and, you know, especially essential fatty acids and things like that, you can live a very healthy life as a vegan.

[1893] Just do it right.

[1894] But these guys lie.

[1895] No, I think they went overboard.

[1896] They didn't just, you don't just, what it is is a view.

[1897] vegan proselytizing like doc you're trying to do is get people to sign up for veganism by scaring the shit out of them with lies and you're saying things like saturated fats and all these these things clog up in your arteries and that causes diabetes that's not true like in that in this what the health what it's the same guys that made cowspiracy that came in here and they were wrong about that too when they came in here they were talking about how many acres it takes for a cow to grade and all the negative aspects, there's absolutely negative aspects when it comes to animal agriculture.

[1898] And I think it's super important to be honest about those negative aspects even when criticizing it.

[1899] You can't exaggerate it to make your case look better because the actual facts are disturbing enough.

[1900] Like especially factory farming when it comes to like cows and shit and pigs, it's disturbing to see them all stacked up in there like that.

[1901] It's disturbing to see those rivers of shit where people run these pig farms And the shit comes, I mean, it filmed it with a drone, one of these giant commercial places.

[1902] It's fucking disturbing.

[1903] And that is straight up fact.

[1904] That's enough.

[1905] That's enough.

[1906] There's a ton of actual facts that are disturbing.

[1907] And as soon as you have these doctors that are just bullshit artists that are saying all these things that aren't supported by science.

[1908] And when this one doctor goes over all the different things and what the health that are incorrect, you kind of understand what it is.

[1909] They mean well.

[1910] I'm sure they mean well.

[1911] They're trying to get people.

[1912] to quit eating processed meat, which is a very good idea.

[1913] Process food is fucking terrible for you.

[1914] Whether it's food with a lot of preservatives, meats with a lot of preservatives, all that stuff is definitely 100 % not good for you.

[1915] But that doesn't mean that grass -fed beef is bad for you because it's not.

[1916] It doesn't mean that you can't have a healthy diet with salmon and fish, you know, like different kinds of ocean fish, scallops, and use that as your primary protein source.

[1917] and then vegetables and have like a super healthy diet because you will you will have a super healthy diet and you know there's a lot of arguments to avoid dairy i think a lot of it depends on the individual a lot of good arguments right a lot of really good arguments in terms of your immune system inflammation there's a lot of really good arguments to avoid processed sugar there's a lot of really good arguments but i think it's like we're talking about earlier when you were talking about if you found those those scrolls in kumran you would kind of like well this is what saying saying i get all the bitches right you know you figure out a way to lean it towards you well these people are clearly on team vegan which is great and it's fine the way to be on team vegan and do it right is be healthy be nice and be honest yeah be honest because it's good enough yeah yeah and you're gonna get plenty of those there's a lot of those out there no no i don't want to discredit them and there's a lot of uh there's a lot of crazy vegans too that are just going to get mad at you and they just decided now that they're vegan to just attack everyone who's not vegan i've seen those too but that's just humans right that's just that's just human shit yeah human shit so i mean i know um a ton of people that are very happy being vegan and you're one of them right right you know and i fuck with you all the time about it but you're a healthy dude you've always been healthy you know you but you do it right yeah i mean i've done it wrong like i've been an unhealthy vegan like right now i got to stop fucking with sodium what's wrong with sodium like just high blood blood pressure wise that doesn't really happen that's not real no see that's another misconception the misconception about sodium is that sodium is somehow another the cause of high blood pressure that was all put together by some bullshit as doctor one doctor pull that pull up the myth of sodium this is crazy this story because so many people believe it causes high blood pressure a lot of it's genetic genetic yeah genetic it could be you know god damn it dad sedentary lifestyle there's a lot of factors It's a sedentary lifestyle?

[1918] Yeah, you don't really work out.

[1919] Shaking up the salt myth.

[1920] Here you go.

[1921] Chris Crusher, who's actually been on the podcast before.

[1922] In all age of salt has been invested with a significance for exceeding that inherent in its natural properties.

[1923] I don't know.

[1924] Okay, that's a little wordy there.

[1925] Single most harmful.

[1926] Okay, here we go.

[1927] It's been referred to as the single most harmful substance in the food supply.

[1928] But is salt really dangerous?

[1929] New, new, new.

[1930] up the salt myth.

[1931] Actually, this is not what I'm looking for.

[1932] What I want you to do is just pull up the conspiracy about how one doctor wrote some bullshit paper about sodium.

[1933] You got that?

[1934] This is from Scientific America.

[1935] Okay.

[1936] Time to end the war on salt from Scientific America.

[1937] The zealous drive by politicians to limit our salt intake has little basis in science.

[1938] It's all bullshit.

[1939] Make that larger, please?

[1940] My shitty fuck guys.

[1941] This is so many artists.

[1942] Like, how do we, like, how do we know what's, real and what's not you know this is like it started with there's like a very clear beginning for this there was a bullshit study that someone passed and you know there's also been a ton of bullshit there it is 1904 French doctors reported that six of their subjects who had high blood pressure a known risk factor for heart disease were salt fiends worries escalated in the 1970s when Brookhaven National Laboratories Lewis Dahl claimed that he had unequivocal unequivocal evidence that salt caused his hypertension, he induced high blood pressure in rats by feeding them the human equivalent of 500 grams of sodium today, which is an insane amount.

[1943] Today, the average American consumes 3 .4 grams of sodium or 8 .4 grams of salt a day.

[1944] I'll scroll up a little there.

[1945] Dahl also discovered that the population tends to continue to be cited as strong evidence of a link between salt intake and high blood pressure, people living in countries with high salt consumption.

[1946] such as Japan, also tend to have high blood pressure and more strokes.

[1947] But as a paper pointed out several years later, an American Journal of Hypertension, scientists had little luck finding such associations when they compared sodium intakes within populations, which suggested that genetics or other cultural factors might be the culprit.

[1948] Anyway, this 1977 study affected the U .S. Senate Select Committee on Nutrition and Human Needs, and they released a report recommending that Americans cut their salt intake, by 50 to 85 % based largely on doll's work.

[1949] So this one dick fuck ruined it for everybody that wants to put salt in your fries.

[1950] Like, you can get off that.

[1951] But this is, salt is a mineral, and it's a natural part of, like, being a human being.

[1952] It's an essential mineral.

[1953] It's like when you have endurance athletes and they go on these crazy runs and they do like 100 miles, they take salt.

[1954] Right.

[1955] It's one of things they...

[1956] Yeah, they put salt.

[1957] in their body and it's in gatorade it is in gatorade a little bit but you know what the best version of it apparently health -wise is that Himalayan salt right because Himalayan salt has a bunch of like natural base minerals in it yeah they recommend you take like a little bit of him simulian salt just just drop a little bit in your water in the morning put some lemon in there right so so I use that a little bit but I think with vegan food like probably based on my genetics like because they try to make it taste a certain way, they might put a lot of fucking salt in there.

[1958] Oh, okay.

[1959] So I think, but I could feel something like towards December, like in my body whenever I ate.

[1960] So now that I've cut back and I like, I'll cook more and I'll just eat places that have less salt because there's salt and shit, but some people over salt shit.

[1961] It also could be sugar.

[1962] You can be getting sugar in your food too.

[1963] I mean, what you should do, honestly, is I could send you to a guy.

[1964] you should get some blood work done all right I did some did what they say it was it was it was the guy said salt he said he said too much salt but that's the guy's a fucking idiot Jesus Christ you went to an idiot doctor why did he say you have too much salt but but he just find sodium in your blood like what is he saying like blood pressure was getting high what a fucking asshole this look it's they're they've proven there's not a connection and this idiot is telling you just cut back the salt how the fuck are you supposed to trust doctors when they're going by some shit that they went to school with in 1980.

[1965] That's my point.

[1966] You can't trust anybody.

[1967] Everybody's thing.

[1968] If a doctor's your age.

[1969] If a doctor's your age.

[1970] That motherfucker was in college in the 80s.

[1971] Right.

[1972] So what the fuck?

[1973] That's a long goddamn time ago.

[1974] So then he was taught the shit that, you know.

[1975] Ten years after the 70s.

[1976] People were idiots.

[1977] There were monkeys.

[1978] They had fucking bell bottoms on.

[1979] People were barely out of the caves.

[1980] Listen, if you...

[1981] Like in the 1970s?

[1982] Yeah.

[1983] If you committed to be a doctor, right?

[1984] And you learned everything that you learned.

[1985] your your whole identity is being based on what you know right so if some new new shit comes up or if you find out that something that you were taught that's embedded in you is not true yeah then you're going to fight that new truth and stick to the to the old way because that fucks with your identity right and who you are and how who people perceive you to be there's also like peripheral knowledge that people have and I'm guilty of this too everybody is I guess, but I'm guilty of it, especially.

[1986] Like, you get a little peripheral knowledge of something and you think, you know, you understand what it is.

[1987] Right.

[1988] Like, I was talking to a scientist, an actual scientist.

[1989] And I was talking about eggs.

[1990] You know, we were talking about, oh, that's got to be fun, growing your own chickens.

[1991] And he goes, well, what about the cholesterol?

[1992] Doesn't that, you know, lead to high blood pressure?

[1993] You're taking in all that cholesterol?

[1994] I'm like, Jesus Christ.

[1995] You're a fucking scientist.

[1996] Don't you understand, like, that dietary cholesterol doesn't even, it barely even moves the needle on blood lipids.

[1997] Like, there's a lot of sedentary lifestyle.

[1998] Genetics.

[1999] There's all sorts of factors.

[2000] But like chickens, like an eggs from chicken, they're not bad for you at all.

[2001] In fact, it's one of the most healthiest foods you can eat.

[2002] If you're saying that chicken eggs are bad for you, you're essentially saying that food is bad for you.

[2003] You don't want to see what to help them because they shit all over eggs.

[2004] They're idiots.

[2005] They shit all over eggs.

[2006] A healthy grass -fed chicken or a free -range chicken that's wandering around.

[2007] Google egg might be the perfect food.

[2008] There's an article about eggs might be the perfect food because eggs have a ton of nutrients in them.

[2009] And they're also essentially pretty ethical, like ethically free of any reservations.

[2010] Chickens just lay eggs.

[2011] You don't have to hurt them.

[2012] Are eggs really nature's perfect food?

[2013] food rotten eggs how a perfect food can go bad what is this is this the same article i don't think it is there's there's an article it doesn't matter there's an article that i read on how an egg is the perfect food if you can find that it explains like all the nutritional properties of an egg there's just so much shit from so many different sides all i learned to do is just trust myself so the doctor telling me this thing about salt right fucking idiot was kind of like, all right, I could feel something wrong, right?

[2014] I could feel something wrong.

[2015] So that I honestly felt.

[2016] So when he said too much salt and then I know eating out a lot in vegan places.

[2017] Let me stop you.

[2018] When you said you could feel something wrong, like what are you talking about?

[2019] Like, what are you experiencing?

[2020] It's just a feeling like in my veins or in my, I could just feel, like I pay attention to my body a lot, you know?

[2021] Alone, you naked?

[2022] What are you doing?

[2023] No, you just, after I ate, I could feel something.

[2024] It wasn't, and it, and it was just like, this is not, I'm not supposed to feel this way.

[2025] And this was just from eating food?

[2026] Mostly when I, mostly after I ate, I could feel it.

[2027] What if you would just carve up a fat steak, rib -eye with that fucking, that juicy fat.

[2028] I want some, I want some elk, I want some elk, homie.

[2029] Would you eat it, though?

[2030] Yeah, I told you I would.

[2031] Okay, all right, we'll cook for you.

[2032] Because it's free range.

[2033] That's true.

[2034] free range that's as free range as it gets the new place when we have the new place set up i'm gonna have one of these um uh yoder grills like one of those pellet grills it'll be there i'm gonna be able to grill on a spot we will document document in edwards first meat consumption and how many years will it be over 10 for sure wow yeah over 10 for sure over 10 dude you might go crazy you might become a hunter Ian's gonna be like shooting shit off the roof of his fucking It's hilarious.

[2035] Yeah, it's...

[2036] Free -range people.

[2037] Is that it?

[2038] Whole eggs are most...

[2039] That is it.

[2040] Whole eggs are among the most...

[2041] Abung, the most nutritious foods on Earth.

[2042] And so, like, make that a little larger there, so you can see.

[2043] One egg contains vitamin B12, 9 % of the RDA, vitamin B2, riboflavin, 15 % of the RDA.

[2044] Vitamin A, 6%, vitamin B5, 7%.

[2045] Selenium, which is an important mineral, 22 % of the RDA.

[2046] Eggs also contain small amounts of almost every vitamin and mineral required by the human body, including calcium, iron, potassium, zinc, manganese, I don't know what that is, manganese, vitamin E, folate, and many more.

[2047] A large egg contains 77 calories with 6 grams of quality protein, 5 grams of fat, and trace amounts of carbohydrates.

[2048] It's very important to realize that almost all the nutrients are contained in the yolk, while the white contains only protein it's a fantastic food source and here's the thing about eggs man it doesn't hurt the chickens you're not hurting anything you're not harming anything if you have free range chickens you can't I know a lot of people can't but you know what if people buy actual free range chickens or buy free range chicken eggs you're buying eggs from an animal that's just going to lay eggs every day or every other day it's not they don't get hurt and if you could figure out a way like the ideal thing would be like community having like co -ops we grow your own vegetables and you guys have like a chicken coop that everybody kind of helps take care of and these chickens roam around and eat bugs and worms and all the stuff they're supposed to do right and then you eat those chicken eggs and it's like you get animal protein but you don't have to hurt anything nothing else to die and if you're getting a free range a truly free range chicken egg it's super healthy and to say anything otherwise I have to stop and now I can't watch your show.

[2049] I can't watch your movie.

[2050] I can't listen to you talk because you're not being honest.

[2051] Like no one's saying vegetables aren't honest.

[2052] They're healthy rather.

[2053] Vegetables are super healthy.

[2054] Beats are fantastic for you.

[2055] Cale's amazing for you.

[2056] Cairts, onions, all these different things that come out of the ground.

[2057] Yams, sweet potatoes.

[2058] All that stuff's fantastic for you.

[2059] Nutrients.

[2060] It's all important.

[2061] That's where what's, that's real food.

[2062] But so's eggs.

[2063] Nothing wrong with eating eggs.

[2064] Like my issue was I was just being a bad vegan because you can be vegan and still eat a lot of crap.

[2065] Yeah.

[2066] So, and then, like, years of just eating crap is definitely going to affect you no matter.

[2067] Like, like, when somebody says they're vegan, like, what are you eating?

[2068] Because you could eat bad shit too.

[2069] Oh, yeah.

[2070] So I just needed to cut back on the bad shit.

[2071] You know what I mean?

[2072] Yeah.

[2073] Like, stuff with sugar, like, you know, the vegan ice creams and just a bunch of shit.

[2074] And so now I feel better.

[2075] It's like, like, like, the feeling that.

[2076] you were asking me about before.

[2077] It's almost like when you have a headache, but your headache is in your body.

[2078] And most of the time I could correlate it with when I was eating and what I was eating.

[2079] So then now I'm just like, all right, you've been eating some crap.

[2080] Like, I think sodium is good, salt is good for you, but if you probably take too much, it is bad.

[2081] Okay, but let me stop you again because when you're telling me you're getting blood work done, you're getting your blood work done to check to see if you have high blood pressure.

[2082] You're not getting your blood work done where you're checking nutritional levels.

[2083] I think they were checking for everything.

[2084] But did they tell you you need more vitamin B or vitamin D or B12 or anything like that?

[2085] They took niacin.

[2086] They never said anything?

[2087] I got to call them.

[2088] I got to call them.

[2089] Okay.

[2090] A doctor that's going to do a real nutritional profile of you is going to concentrate on your nutrient intake.

[2091] He's going to look at like, tell you to eat normal and then come in and do some blood work and then maybe they do it again in like six weeks or something like that.

[2092] And they're going to check a bunch of different things.

[2093] They're going to check your hormone levels, active usable.

[2094] testosterone, a bunch of different things.

[2095] But what's really important is checking your vitamin levels, making sure that you really, like, there's this, people have this weird idea that you get everything you need from your diet.

[2096] You might.

[2097] You might get everything you need from your diet.

[2098] Depends on your diet.

[2099] And also, it depends on whether or not you've checked.

[2100] Most people haven't checked.

[2101] You don't go to a doctor and check.

[2102] Go get yourself checked out.

[2103] Find out, like, your nutrient levels.

[2104] Find out what, maybe you need some vitamin D. Maybe you need some B12 or B6.

[2105] Maybe they can find that your body is a low on niacin, or maybe they think that, you know, consuming more essential fatty acids would be very good for you.

[2106] But you can go to a really good doctor, a legit doctor, that goes over that stuff and is on the cutting edge of today's modern science, and they can greatly enhance your ability to understand what impact your diet is having your body.

[2107] Because if you think you're eating healthy, and then they do like a triglyceride count on you and they do your blood sugar count.

[2108] Like Sam Harris, a friend of mine, just started, he tried to be vegan for a little while.

[2109] Right.

[2110] And he got his blood work done, like on a regular basis because he's smart guy and wants to check his body out.

[2111] And he's like, it's not good.

[2112] Right.

[2113] There's too much sugar.

[2114] The glucose levels.

[2115] There's a bunch of different factors.

[2116] I forget what particularly it was, but he had to switch to eating wild fish.

[2117] Right.

[2118] So wild fish and then mostly vegan other than that, cut out the dairy, cut out the factory farming.

[2119] He figured it out.

[2120] Yeah.

[2121] I mean, I just think that there's a lot of bad in modern diets.

[2122] There's a lot of bad in food consumption.

[2123] We don't need to make stuff up.

[2124] We need to find out who's telling the truth.

[2125] And the doctor telling you that you need to cut your salt back and that's what's giving you high blood pressure.

[2126] That guy's an asshole.

[2127] He's an asshole.

[2128] Whether he realizes he's an asshole or not, he's not paying attention to the latest shit.

[2129] He's some dude He's probably just like Going to work He's just a doctor I trust me I don't trust Doctors per se You know what I'm saying Yeah Because a lot of them You know They're like everything else Yeah They like everything else It's like trusting a comedian to be funny Yeah We all know some of them They're just They're just never gonna happen Exactly And they call themselves comedians Or even if they are funny They're being hacking The audience doesn't know They got that shit From somewhere else That true too Yeah So there's a lot of hacky doctors Out there It's just a bad doctor Man, there's a lot of really good ones, too.

[2130] Good ones, too, yeah.

[2131] It's really good ones.

[2132] Yeah, you just have to find him.

[2133] How old's your doctor?

[2134] He must have been, like, maybe around 50.

[2135] Fuck him.

[2136] I hope he's on a treadmill right now, and he hears this.

[2137] He just starts Googling.

[2138] Hypertension.

[2139] I don't know if he looked like he took a treadmill.

[2140] He doesn't Google?

[2141] No, I don't think he looked like he does treadmills.

[2142] No?

[2143] What is this?

[2144] If you have high blood pressure, salt still matters.

[2145] New research examines the sodium hypertension mystery.

[2146] What is it saying?

[2147] So if you have high blood pressure, salt matters?

[2148] Receptor, the AT1R.

[2149] Okay, what does it say?

[2150] ATR molecules and your cells and kidneys continuously.

[2151] Where is this coming from, first of all?

[2152] Cleveland Clinic.

[2153] And is this an actual study?

[2154] Well, I don't like that doctor's face.

[2155] We recently discovered a possible explanation.

[2156] Team study the hormone angiotensin.

[2157] NGiotensin helps regulate your bread pressure when it binds to receptor called AT1R and turns it on the AT1R molecules in the cells of your kidneys.

[2158] Continuously regulate the levels of sodium and the blood.

[2159] This relationship can be overactive in some people, which leads to high blood pressure.

[2160] There's hope in the forms of a drug called AT1R blockers.

[2161] True to their name, these drugs block angiotensin from binding with it.

[2162] AT1R thereby keeping blood pressure lower to make these drugs even more effective researchers want to understand the molecular structure of AT1R hmm okay yeah it's just still important it's not it's not the number one thing so it's not giving it to you but if you have it it may be a factor so if you I wonder what their levels are they're talking about though so like when you're talking about the levels they did in that test when they were given it to rats and you're giving them 500 grams a lot of wrap yeah you could definitely die from eating that much all.

[2163] I think that we just need more transparency and honesty and it comes to what people actually know versus what they're claiming to know.

[2164] Right.

[2165] You know, and when you're talking to a doctor, it's giving you shit advice.

[2166] I've talked to a ton of doctors and say, like, you can get everything you want from the average American diet.

[2167] There's no need to take vitamins.

[2168] You pee them out.

[2169] That's straight up bullshit.

[2170] I'll take B. I take B. I take B12.

[2171] If you take B12, you know, you're probably not really vegan.

[2172] Fuck it I'm trying to be healthy So I don't care where it comes from Just as long as a good sauce And I feel good Baby eyelids Hey man Babies should have defended themselves better Those babies are here for a purpose Do you have like a main staple Like that you like say if you're at home and you're cooking Is there like a main thing you eat a lot of Like wild rice Wild rice or quinoa pasta Kima is great And uh uh kemoa kemoa is one of those rare plants that has like a full amino acid profile right yeah it's like kemaw and hemp and a few other ones yeah there's there's a few of those uh like protein rich plants like like some plants that have good amount of protein in them i put hemp seeds in my that's great in my in my smoothies that's good and chia seeds cheese seeds yeah that also cleans your pipes out you know what i'm saying whoa put kale in them you know so i you know Do you use coconut oil at all?

[2173] Yeah.

[2174] Cook with it or use it for other shit.

[2175] It's good to add, like if you make smoothies and shit like that, it's good to add because the fats...

[2176] I should put some in there, yeah.

[2177] It helps the absorption of the vitamins.

[2178] All right.

[2179] I had to learn that one the hard way.

[2180] Not that it...

[2181] It's just adding MCT oil to shakes, makes it...

[2182] Just makes it more nutritious.

[2183] But you got to be careful.

[2184] Why?

[2185] Because you will shit yourself.

[2186] You have to be careful.

[2187] You can't go too hard with the MCT oil.

[2188] Oh, right.

[2189] You can get like a few tablespoons in, a big glass of, uh, but anything more than that, it's just something about it.

[2190] Your body's like, just release the house.

[2191] It's just, it's like lubing your, your intestines.

[2192] A little bit.

[2193] It's, but I think it feels like more than that.

[2194] It almost feels, it's not just like lube.

[2195] It's almost like your body's like, what are you eating?

[2196] Like, uh, too much.

[2197] I'm not confident with this.

[2198] Let's go.

[2199] Whoa.

[2200] Let's go.

[2201] Let's go.

[2202] Let's go.

[2203] Everybody out.

[2204] Woo!

[2205] Yeah.

[2206] There's nothing like diarrhea to change your mind.

[2207] on things.

[2208] Like, if you had all the money in the world, but constant diarrhea, diarrhea forever.

[2209] You could live like P. Diddy, like two bottles of champagne, one in each hand, on a yacht, but at any moment, you could shit yourself.

[2210] That's not living.

[2211] It's not living.

[2212] It's not living.

[2213] Nobody can accept that.

[2214] Yeah.

[2215] Yeah, if you're on that yacht, do, do, do, do do, do do do.

[2216] Because you pay some friends, and it's hilarious.

[2217] And you're like, listen, I'm rich.

[2218] We can hang out, but occasionally I might shit myself and no snickering.

[2219] Yeah, you can't laugh at me, man. You see it running down his Miami Vice shoes.

[2220] He's got those shoes with no socks on those white loafers, dudes wearing.

[2221] You see shit dribbling down.

[2222] Or you have to wear those diapers.

[2223] Yeah, you'd have to wear the diaper, but then everybody smells it.

[2224] I would keep a baby, I would keep a baby around me. Oh, that's kidding.

[2225] Or a dog.

[2226] Keep a old dog.

[2227] She said from himself.

[2228] I'm like, well, come on, baby.

[2229] Fluffy.

[2230] Let's not got to go change this baby.

[2231] Yeah, if you have, like, constant diarrhea, that feeling.

[2232] The only thing that makes diarrhea okay is that you know it's eventually going to go away.

[2233] Right?

[2234] Because if you just had to live forever knowing at any moment you could just shit yourself, there's a lot of people that that's the reality, right?

[2235] People with, like, Crohn's disease and shit like that.

[2236] They're, like, constantly shitting themselves.

[2237] That's where, like, butt wipes are very important.

[2238] It's hilarious.

[2239] You can't be using, like, some cheap -ass Costco.

[2240] toilet paper what's the thing where you just fall asleep automatically narcolepsy it's like narcolepsy of the ass yeah yeah that's what if you had bolt you just fell every you just fall down all the time whenever you had to shit you fall asleep just shit yourself and that would be what would happen you would have these ideas rich a shit man I just think I probably should get to the ball sleep wake up covered and shit what the fuck it's like your body's trying to protect you from the fact that it knows you're going to shit you're going to yourself and he knows you can't handle it it's like some drunks become blackout drunks they get drunk so hard so often their body's like look we can't handle this and still be conscious if you're going to continue to do this we're just going to start blacking you out so if that's hilarious so when you wake up everybody's gone and you could just get up and crawl home yeah you're just covered in shit without being embarrassed every day you're like you're in the middle of your kitchen i don't know if i'm going to make it to the back Don't fall down.

[2241] Greg invited this over for dinner, but he shits himself a lot.

[2242] Do you want to go to Greg's house to eat?

[2243] Greg shows up.

[2244] You can hear his diaper crinkling as he sits down.

[2245] If you're anarchalept, like what's to stop you from banging your fucking head off the ground and dying?

[2246] That's a problem.

[2247] That's the scary part, right?

[2248] You ever seen someone faint?

[2249] Yeah, yeah.

[2250] It's weird.

[2251] I've known people that, like, have epileptic seizures.

[2252] You don't know when those are going to happen.

[2253] Ooh.

[2254] And then you have to, like, stop them from hurting himself.

[2255] I've seen that on a plane.

[2256] Oh, yeah?

[2257] A lady behind us just locked up.

[2258] And she was just locked up.

[2259] Like, her body just was like, it wasn't working.

[2260] And she was trying to fight it off.

[2261] And then they tried to, like, calm her down.

[2262] And I think they tried to get her to stop from, swallowing her tongue i don't know how they did that you have to do that move there was a bunch of people that surround she was like a couple rows behind me a bunch of people jumped on the situation you're stopping from biting their tongue or swallowing yeah yeah fuck and then uh it was like she locked up like you could see like when you turned around people started like there was a commotion and turned around it was like almost like she was like wrestling with something which is like probably what they used to think right back in the day when someone they thought you were possessed by the devil yeah yeah right Like, if you believe in the devil, you saw someone have a seizure.

[2263] Right.

[2264] Like, Satan is upon her.

[2265] Yeah.

[2266] I wonder if they even bothered fixing people back then.

[2267] They might have just killed them.

[2268] Kill them or throw them in a dungeon.

[2269] Right?

[2270] If you're having a fucking lock up seizure and during the Inquisition, they'd be sure there's the devil.

[2271] Yeah, the devil's taking over you.

[2272] Dude.

[2273] That's the line that people don't like to cross, the believing in the devil line.

[2274] Right.

[2275] Right.

[2276] What do you mean believing in it?

[2277] Talking about it.

[2278] You talk about God all day As soon as you talk about the devil You're like, oh boy Yeah Like he crossed the line People are afraid of that Yeah But people talk about God People talk about God But you usually can't have one without the other The devil is in the Bible So Yeah but it shows The slow Cultural evolution that we were talking about We've realized how ridiculous it is To think that some dude In a fiery pit with a pitchfork Unless you're one of the people That listens to this Still believes in that that's fine i'm not telling you right you might be right but for most people that's pretty ridiculous right so the devil the yeah he's going to torch you in the fires of hell forever but there's a lot of religious people i believe that sure yeah but it's a package deal see that's what i'm saying it's like it's a weird thing that will will allow people to not follow the package like no you don't have to buy the wax you could just get the the armor all the tires and you know you don't have to get the the the wax part but this is where the devil comes in.

[2279] The devil comes in to help scare people into Christianity.

[2280] So if you're a preacher or a jail was witness or somebody, like if I'm going to scare you into being, it's like scared straight.

[2281] If I'm going to scare you into being good, I got to take you to prison so you can see what prison is like.

[2282] Right.

[2283] If I'm going to, part of being a Christian is not just being good.

[2284] It's like, you don't want to go to hell.

[2285] Right.

[2286] So I got to give you these stories of people in hell and paint this picture so that you make this choice that I want you to make.

[2287] So the devil is a very important thing in making people Christians.

[2288] Used to be, but now things are getting more and more slippery because it's more and more ridiculous because more and more people are making fun of Christianity.

[2289] So now it's like you don't bring up the devil.

[2290] Right.

[2291] So like if the president can go on television and say, God bless America.

[2292] We are a nation governed by God.

[2293] And everybody goes, yeah.

[2294] But if he says, we have located the devil, he's in Afghanistan, and we're sending troops to that area.

[2295] People are like, what?

[2296] What the fuck are you talking about, man?

[2297] You can't say the devil's a real thing.

[2298] I know.

[2299] I know.

[2300] It's like, the problem is the devil.

[2301] If Trump got on TV and started saying, when I said grabbed them by the pussy, that was not me, that was the devil speaking through me. And now I understand.

[2302] and everybody would clap the devil is in our heart and in our soul and we need to stop him from ruining life on earth before Jesus returns and offers us eternal salvation right you could you could almost imagine someone saying like that but not someone saying something like that but not quite they would like I always think like you ever seen those court cases where somebody said they heard voices and then they killed somebody right Right.

[2303] Schizophrenia.

[2304] Schizophrenia.

[2305] So that person's on trial.

[2306] That person's on trial.

[2307] And then everybody's looking at that person like they're crazy.

[2308] Right.

[2309] But before that the people who testify against that guy testify, they have to put their hand on the Bible and swear to a God that they can't see to give testimony that this person is crazy.

[2310] What is the difference?

[2311] Yeah.

[2312] He said he heard voices.

[2313] You're swearing to something you can't see.

[2314] So help me, God.

[2315] So help me God.

[2316] So, what's the difference?

[2317] Yeah, you're, you're, you're swearing to an imaginary make -believe person.

[2318] Right.

[2319] That may or may not have created the entire universe in six days.

[2320] Yeah.

[2321] I mean, it might not be made -belief.

[2322] But this guy's crazy.

[2323] Yeah.

[2324] This guy's hearing voices to tell him to kill some assholes.

[2325] How far off from this guy are you?

[2326] Yeah.

[2327] Have you talked to God?

[2328] I have a personal relationship with God.

[2329] I talk to God every night.

[2330] That was the thing about Bush used to drive me crazy.

[2331] When he used to say he talked to God.

[2332] I'm like, listen, motherfucker.

[2333] You might be talking at them.

[2334] Unless God's talk it back, you're not really having a conversation.

[2335] Because people could be telling me I talk to Joe Rogan every night because you just, you listen to the podcast.

[2336] You go, shut the fuck up.

[2337] God damn, you're going to tell that story again?

[2338] You're not really talking to me, man. Okay?

[2339] You're talking at me. I'm not there.

[2340] The last thing George Bush did was talk to God every night.

[2341] I talked to God.

[2342] That's the last thing he did.

[2343] Every evening, I talk to God.

[2344] He gives me my plans.

[2345] No. I talk to Ian Edwards every evening.

[2346] I listen to his podcast about soccer, excuse me, I mean football, and I fucking start screaming at him.

[2347] It's hilarious.

[2348] Yeah, you don't hear too many people saying they actually heard from God, because that's where it gets slippery.

[2349] Like, you could talk to God all day long.

[2350] Because you'll sound crazy.

[2351] Yeah, you'll sound like a nut.

[2352] Yeah.

[2353] Well, I got a bit that I've been doing lately about, like, how no one likes new miracles.

[2354] Yeah.

[2355] Yeah, you know that bit.

[2356] Only, I don't even know if I heard that bit, but you're right.

[2357] It's like, we like old miracles.

[2358] We only believe the ones that happen in the Bible.

[2359] If somebody says this miracle happened to them, they're crazy.

[2360] But don't you believe in God?

[2361] Well, we get to like Joseph Smith.

[2362] Joseph Smith, that's the bounds of incredulity because that's the 1800s.

[2363] I think it was 1820.

[2364] Was it 1820?

[2365] He's a Mormon guy?

[2366] Yeah, he found golden tablets that contained the work of the last work of Jesus.

[2367] And only he could read them because he had a magic sear stone that he would look through.

[2368] The angels came and took it away.

[2369] All of it was like crazy miracle stuff.

[2370] Right.

[2371] But it's like, oh, Joe.

[2372] Just long enough.

[2373] Just long enough ago.

[2374] People go, well, maybe it was still going on back then.

[2375] Right, yeah, yeah.

[2376] 18, 20, maybe.

[2377] But not in 2017.

[2378] No, you can't come.

[2379] No. Can't come with that.

[2380] No. Unless you got some super proof.

[2381] But now people are not going to believe that super proof anymore because of all this 3D rendering software and Adobe Photoshop.

[2382] And have you seen that thing?

[2383] We were talking about it yesterday.

[2384] They're able to, you could talk for 20 minutes and they'll take your voice.

[2385] And essentially over 20 minutes, they find everything you've ever said all the noises that you can make in 20 minutes or 40 minutes 40 minutes actually they can do it in 20 but they prefer 40 so they can make you say words you've never said before like you could say uh hey joe and jamie let's do a podcast and they could say hey joe and jamie and mike and steve and debby let's do a podcast and you'd be like what the fuck i never said mike and steve and debby they can make your voice say those things with with new computer software and they can't so what evidence is evidence now in court that's the point the point is it's so close to being impossible to tell if something's fake like right now they can still kind of tell like still a little clunky but it's a few years away from being indiscernible you're not going to be able to tell they can manufacture anything yeah it's crazy it's it's really it's going to be really interesting because they're also going to be able to have people like you won't have to like bring John Wayne back to life to have a John Wayne movie You could have a fake John Wayne You have hours and hours of John Wayne talking You take that, you throw it into a computer And it can, you could write a script Like you could write a script where John Wayne Is in some new high -tech Western movie Didn't they do that in the last Star Wars, the Rogue One?

[2386] Didn't they do some shit like that?

[2387] Yeah, they added Princess Leia in it After she was dead?

[2388] They made her younger than she already was Same with the guys, the admiral.

[2389] Was it good?

[2390] Spoiler alert, by the way.

[2391] You son of a bitch.

[2392] I haven't even seen that movie.

[2393] They had since Christmas.

[2394] Have you guys been paying attention to all the shit stirring that William Shackner has been doing online?

[2395] William Shackner is at war with social justice warriors on Twitter.

[2396] William Shackner is like shit posting online and getting these people mad at him.

[2397] And they're mad and they're saying that your whole show, Star Trek, was about social.

[2398] social justice.

[2399] And here you are mocking social justice warriors.

[2400] There was an article in Huff Post, you know, which is like the super liberal rag, like should William Shackner's like abhorrent behavior or something like that?

[2401] Aborant.

[2402] Erase his Star Trek legacy.

[2403] Like literally is bad behavior online.

[2404] Find that article because it's so ridiculous.

[2405] But he's essentially just fucking with people, calling him snowflakes and shit and people going nuts.

[2406] But what's the, How bad is he?

[2407] What's he saying?

[2408] Nothing that bad.

[2409] Not that bad?

[2410] They just want him to tow the line.

[2411] And they also want him to be like humble and grateful for being on Star Trek.

[2412] But he's like, hey, folks, it was just a TV show, lighting the fuck up.

[2413] And they're like, it's just a TV show with social justice as its primary values.

[2414] And here you are.

[2415] We expect you to become a real.

[2416] With that TV show.

[2417] He's an actor.

[2418] Yeah.

[2419] He's Canadian, too, by the way.

[2420] Oh, shit.

[2421] Now he's wrong.

[2422] Yeah.

[2423] That's what I'm saying.

[2424] But I don't know.

[2425] like what they're arguing about it's hard i can't scroll back far enough to find out what they're just want to argue oh yeah for sure i think he's awful remember when you didn't know that william shackner was so awful i guess i'll people tweet that like all these weird social justice warriors women like relax why waste your time those you got shit to do people 80 year old man yeah i get alone i get you think he's all he's got all these marbles there yeah he's 80 yeah isn't he isn't William shackner like 80?

[2426] should be about it says it's here i'll let you This is what, according to this article, this is what the fight was about.

[2427] It came from some show called Outlander.

[2428] Okay.

[2429] Outlander fans, the actor calling them Snowflakes and Social Justice Warriors, is intricate and fascinating in a way that only fandom beef involving an internationally famous cultural icon can be.

[2430] But to get the full picture, we have to take a trip back in time.

[2431] Shackner, who acquitted with this guy, Hogan, H -E -U.

[2432] This is the part right here.

[2433] Okay.

[2434] I believe the two stars of the show, Sam Huggen and Katriona Balfe should date in real life.

[2435] Huh.

[2436] There's a group of fans, people that love the show, that shipers, they call themselves, fans of a show who want to see the two characters in a relationship.

[2437] They believe the two stars of the show, Sam and Katriona, should date in real life and a particularly hardline group of fandom.

[2438] Bolsheviks that believe that they already are dating in secret and Shackner, who's acquainted with one of the guys, waded into the fray, labeling those shippers, those people, as bullies and calling them out on Twinter.

[2439] It was a move that many fans also saw as its own kind of bullying with Shatner trying to kick a group out of fandom for a more nuanced walkthrough.

[2440] There's an explanation blah blah blah fast forward okay he got in a fucking goofy war with trolls yeah here's some of the tweets and stuff oh god just don't engage yeah oh it's just weird so he's what is it hold it stop back up funny how an actress with an impressive resume is belittled by same feminists who say that an 86 year old man telling the truth is a misogynist is he 86 i could believe that he's in shackner 86 right Google it.

[2441] Take a guess.

[2442] How old do you think he is?

[2443] I bet that's right.

[2444] I say he's in his 80s for sure.

[2445] It's got to be.

[2446] When you're that close to death, do you really give a fuck enough to argue with people on Twitter about who's dating who?

[2447] That seems weird.

[2448] He's 86.

[2449] Wow.

[2450] It's pretty good for 86.

[2451] Yeah, he does.

[2452] But, like, what is that?

[2453] Like, why are they going back and forth?

[2454] Like, that seems like such a waste of time.

[2455] You're 86.

[2456] Don't you want to...

[2457] How much time do you have?

[2458] When you're 86, if you're super lucky, you've got 10 years.

[2459] Sometimes old people like to argue.

[2460] It gives them strength and energy.

[2461] It's like vitamins.

[2462] Yeah.

[2463] Yeah, just gives them fucking something.

[2464] A fight, you know, stirs them up.

[2465] A game.

[2466] Yeah.

[2467] Like a fucking sport.

[2468] That or Sudoku.

[2469] I mean.

[2470] Yeah, they get tired.

[2471] They just need that adrenaline rush.

[2472] Need anger.

[2473] Yeah.

[2474] Fueled by anger.

[2475] Yeah.

[2476] Anger's energy.

[2477] It's an adrenaline rush.

[2478] You just don't.

[2479] you don't dive into the fray with dorks though that's where like that whole gamer gate went crazy you know like when women were trying to uh there was a bunch of women that were trying to they wanted uh there was a bunch of stuff going on with video games but they were concerned with sexism in video games and they were trying to censor video games then the you know they're bullying people that believed one way and bullying people that believed another way and then it became a dispute a nerd fight as soon as you get involved in any sort of nerd fight no matter what side you're on it's going to be some chaos there's a lot of angry people i just don't i can't even waste time doing that shit do you fuck with video games i used to but i i put that shit away like 10 years ago what happened when you quit me it was just taking up a lot of my time all this fun stuff fuck video games fuck me fuck blow jobs too it was taking up a lot of my time but then but then porn became accessible and then took that took that video game time away damn really yeah how much video games and jerking off are you doing That seems like...

[2480] Can't do it both, man. How could you have...

[2481] Got to choose one.

[2482] How could you swap them, though?

[2483] I feel like your dick would fall off.

[2484] I just think up, it's just time wasting.

[2485] Yeah.

[2486] Time wasting and your hands are involved.

[2487] Eyes.

[2488] That's true.

[2489] That's true.

[2490] Have you ever fucked with virtual reality?

[2491] Have you ever tried out any of those...

[2492] Those porn?

[2493] No. I mean, just like trying those headsets.

[2494] Like Oculus Rift or any of that stuff.

[2495] H -D -C -Vy.

[2496] tried those?

[2497] Like I don't remember the games I've been to places where they have the samples and you could put it on and then try it out.

[2498] A long time ago?

[2499] No, that's recently.

[2500] Like, I tried a game at South by Southwest where I was trying to like the helicopter was over there and I had the thing on and I was like flying it and try to move it but I don't know what the name of the game was.

[2501] What did you do at South by Southwest?

[2502] I did a show there and then I went to the main convention center and tried you out.

[2503] Did they pay you?

[2504] To perform at South by Southwest?

[2505] Yeah, yeah.

[2506] They did.

[2507] They have to pay now.

[2508] Yeah.

[2509] Dude.

[2510] They were not paying.

[2511] Oh, they weren't?

[2512] For the longest time.

[2513] Oh, shit.

[2514] You would just go and it would be like, you'd perform there.

[2515] It was a privilege.

[2516] I went there.

[2517] I went there twice.

[2518] I went there last year.

[2519] And that was, I was taping a show for Showtime.

[2520] Okay, Showtime paid you.

[2521] Showtime paid.

[2522] And then I went this year, and it was just a show at a club.

[2523] And they paid for that.

[2524] They flew out, flew me out, put me up.

[2525] and pay for that.

[2526] I got an offer once and what they offered me is if I came down there and did their thing I would get a free pass that would allow me to go to all the shows and it was worth like $1 ,500.

[2527] I was like, are you out of your fucking mind?

[2528] I could see them doing that.

[2529] But they don't pay for your hotel they didn't pay for your flight.

[2530] They just offered, I was like, maybe this is just like one faction of this organization that thinks it's a good idea to offer that to people.

[2531] You know who's doing that?

[2532] Bumper shoot.

[2533] What's bumper shoot?

[2534] It's a music festival.

[2535] Like I've done Bonaroo.

[2536] They pay you.

[2537] They fly you out and they put you a bumper shoot.

[2538] It's in Seattle.

[2539] It's at the end of August going into, so August 31st going into September 3rd.

[2540] And basically what they're paying me covers my hotel room.

[2541] I have to pay to pretty much fly there.

[2542] But I go to this music festival.

[2543] That's ridiculous.

[2544] It is ridiculous.

[2545] Are you going to do it?

[2546] I'm just doing it for the fun of going to the music festival.

[2547] Why would you do that?

[2548] You're going to, you're going to be in Seattle this Friday night with me. Hey, all right.

[2549] That's right.

[2550] You have to go back for that bullshit.

[2551] Friday night, Paramount Theater, two shows.

[2552] No doubt.

[2553] Some tickets available for the second show.

[2554] Joe Rogan .net, for it slash tour.

[2555] Yeah, Seattle's the shit, though.

[2556] It's a fun place to perform, but I'm not going there for free.

[2557] Right.

[2558] That's stupid.

[2559] Because you know someone's making money.

[2560] They wouldn't ask you to go if it wasn't profitable.

[2561] Yeah, somebody's making money.

[2562] That's just gross.

[2563] That's what they were doing with South by Southwest.

[2564] Duncan did a video explaining it when they offered it to him.

[2565] Hilarious.

[2566] He did a video with, you know, that Hitler video where Hitler's like yelling out a bunch of shit German and the subtitles.

[2567] And Duncan's subtitles were all about like South by Southwest.

[2568] Like, hilarious.

[2569] How to get people to work for free.

[2570] It's just, it's a fucking airlines.

[2571] It's run by a giant corporation.

[2572] Like you can't pretend that's like some hippie sort of, you know.

[2573] They're making cabalions.

[2574] I mean, they must be.

[2575] It's giant.

[2576] Right?

[2577] And bumper shoes Making money.

[2578] So what are they doing?

[2579] I don't know.

[2580] They're not giving it to the comics.

[2581] Motherfuckers.

[2582] Yeah.

[2583] We need to come up with our own festival.

[2584] I've been thinking about this.

[2585] Oh, yeah?

[2586] Yeah.

[2587] Come up with something to do out here.

[2588] That would kill.

[2589] Yeah.

[2590] Yeah, that would definitely kill.

[2591] Just like run it through the ice house.

[2592] Right.

[2593] Two shows every night.

[2594] Both rooms, little room and the big room.

[2595] Do it for like a week.

[2596] Yeah.

[2597] You know?

[2598] That would definitely kill.

[2599] Something crazy.

[2600] Yeah.

[2601] Yeah.

[2602] But do it intimate.

[2603] Yeah.

[2604] small small venue think about it I wouldn't want to organize that though and I wouldn't want to like say no to someone who sucks you know they're like hey so here's the schedule and I'm like why is that guy on yeah that's the problem yeah that's a problem like I was talking to Al Madrigal about that talking about putting together that comedy network there's a couple people on his comedy network where he's like hmm the fuck you got to be careful you got to be careful putting together a network of people Yeah, because some people are either unaware or just belligerently don't care.

[2605] They just want to get on.

[2606] Yeah, and they'll try to force their way in.

[2607] They'll try to force their way in, yeah.

[2608] Do you, that's an issue with podcasts.

[2609] People try to force their way on your podcast, the corner you, and ask you, I get that shit all the time.

[2610] People that just, there's no way I would have them on.

[2611] Right.

[2612] And they corner me and want to get on the podcast.

[2613] I'm like, is this what you think works?

[2614] You just get, if I wanted you to be on, I'd ask you.

[2615] They have nothing to lose.

[2616] Yeah.

[2617] Do you watch your act?

[2618] I want you to watch your act with me. Let's go over it together.

[2619] Sit down there with a yellow legal pad and go, okay, what the fuck is that?

[2620] It's hilarious.

[2621] It's just the personality conflict is the real problem.

[2622] It's not even like the material as much as like who they are.

[2623] Right.

[2624] You know, some people you just don't, some people are just not that aware.

[2625] They don't make good conversationalists.

[2626] You don't want to be around them.

[2627] Right.

[2628] Especially some people like based on their material.

[2629] Like, you're not a good conversation list.

[2630] Yeah, if you're talking about that.

[2631] Yeah, it's just, I don't know, I get it.

[2632] I get it.

[2633] People want to promote themselves.

[2634] They want things to go ahead.

[2635] But, like, sometimes there's, like, how much should you be promoting yourself, how much you should be working on improving yourself?

[2636] And there was always those people that were, like, really good promoters, but they didn't have a really good product.

[2637] But they have enough of a good product that the promotion sort of carry their product and the enthusiasm behind it, got people into it.

[2638] I call it the hustle gene.

[2639] I wish I had more of the hustle gene.

[2640] Right.

[2641] You know what I mean?

[2642] But then I wonder how much of my creativity would I have to sacrifice for the hustle gene?

[2643] And there's a conundrum, you know?

[2644] It seems like the people who really hustle aren't as good as the most creative people.

[2645] Right.

[2646] That's what it feels like.

[2647] Yeah.

[2648] That's what it really feels like.

[2649] It does feel like that.

[2650] So that's the scary thing.

[2651] Especially the promotional gene.

[2652] Yeah.

[2653] The promotional gene's a weird one.

[2654] Right.

[2655] You know, those dudes that like early on open mic nights, they were starting their old.

[2656] open mic and putting up flyers and shit.

[2657] And you're like, what?

[2658] How are you so confident?

[2659] You know?

[2660] I'm not inviting anybody to an open mic.

[2661] Get out of here.

[2662] Not at all.

[2663] When was the last time he showed up at an open mic and did a set?

[2664] Oh, shit.

[2665] I went back to, I didn't do a set.

[2666] We went to Madison, Wisconsin to do the weekend at Comedy on State.

[2667] And then there's this pizza shop that has an open mic.

[2668] so after the show on I think Thursday night we went to the pizza shop and we put our names on a list but then they ended the show before so it was like I wanted to do it was there too many people that signed up is that what it is that what you're saying it was like we got there because we just did a show we got there towards the end and then you know what the few audience members were leaving that's the thing about open mics like some comics are new and they're not that good so how much is an audience going to sit through?

[2669] You know, they might have sat through five bad comics is a lot to sit through and you might have sat through more.

[2670] Oh, yeah.

[2671] So then they don't know who's coming up next.

[2672] Well, that's what's weird about the store these days.

[2673] Even the open mic night is packed.

[2674] Yeah.

[2675] Have you noticed?

[2676] Mm -hmm.

[2677] It's crazy.

[2678] Go to open mic night.

[2679] There's 100 people in the audience.

[2680] Yeah, man. And you're like, whoa.

[2681] But they're putting some of the store comics on those shows, too.

[2682] Yeah, smart.

[2683] Yeah, smart.

[2684] It is smart.

[2685] but there's something about like a real regular open mic night it's just who it's like the this is the first sparks from a piece of metal and a rock that when you start a fire you know that's that thing where people trying to make fire caveman comedy yeah it's like the first sparks and you see it and you're like woo it makes me nervous yeah it is it's kind of nerve wracking i used to do them a lot when i first moved out here just to get stage time because I kind of refused to, like, audition to get in the comedy store at first.

[2686] I was like, I've already done TV spots, so I got to audition to get in the store until I really got it and said, you know what, you need to get into the store and to the Laugh Factory.

[2687] And then I was writing a lot, so I was like, hey.

[2688] But then when I realized it, the night I got into the store was, like, one of the best nights in show business for me. Oh, yeah, right?

[2689] It's like validation.

[2690] Yeah.

[2691] You're a paid regular.

[2692] Yeah, and I was like, I can work out in 15 -minute.

[2693] Chunks, write material.

[2694] I call my manager.

[2695] I said, I just got into the store.

[2696] He's like, I've never heard you excited about anything.

[2697] What's the big deal?

[2698] I was like, don't you understand?

[2699] I could work out.

[2700] Yeah.

[2701] It's the store.

[2702] He didn't get it.

[2703] You're in Mecca.

[2704] Yeah.

[2705] That's what it is.

[2706] You know, when you pull into that parking lot and you get out and you go say hi to everybody, you wander through those hallways, you see the OR's killing.

[2707] You go into the main room.

[2708] It's packed.

[2709] Someone's crushing.

[2710] You go upstairs to the belly room.

[2711] Boom.

[2712] Someone's up to there smashing.

[2713] it's like you just stepped into the comedy mecca you know and if to be a part of that to be allowed to be a part of that and it's funny it's like there's so many up and coming young comics that want to get in there and look up to it yeah now now it's like it's just it's just bananas it's interesting seeing it again right we're talking about the other day what it used to be like what it's what it's like now this is the golden age yeah I got in there when it used to be like and I was still excited because I just knew I'd be able to develop there.

[2714] Right.

[2715] Yeah.

[2716] So that was useful.

[2717] Like when I started, because before I kind of wasn't taking comedy serious.

[2718] And then like I kind of just got tired of it and kind of fell out of love with it.

[2719] Well, you're doing a lot of writing too.

[2720] I think we do so much staff writing, you know, when you're showing up at that job every day and writing.

[2721] It's like sometimes it takes away your motivation.

[2722] Motivation.

[2723] For sure, it did.

[2724] It did.

[2725] And then I like.

[2726] For some reason, I said, it's time to get back, get into these clubs.

[2727] The Land Factory and the store and started, my desire started increasing the stand -up.

[2728] You got to put it out a special son.

[2729] Yeah, I know.

[2730] When are you going to do one?

[2731] I had to just shoot it myself like you've been telling me. So I, hopefully by the end of the year, a few months, do it.

[2732] Definitely.

[2733] Yeah.

[2734] Needs to happen.

[2735] People need to see your set.

[2736] And then you need to throw it out and write new shit too.

[2737] Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[2738] You're too good.

[2739] Yeah, I'm sitting on stuff because I haven't used it.

[2740] So, but the only way to write new shit, like, I have new shit, but I would have more new shit if I had a special and got rid of the older shit.

[2741] Well, you know what I want to do, man?

[2742] After I do my next Netflix special, I want to do like a Rodney Dangerfield type thing where I bring up a bunch of what I think of the best up -in -common comics and have, like, a special.

[2743] Like, Ronnie Dangerfield used to have those specials.

[2744] Yeah, I want to do something like that.

[2745] Right.

[2746] Well, I'll just host it.

[2747] Just bring people up That's my next move That's the ice house or something Would be cool Yeah exactly Yeah doing out at the ice house Because Roddy Dangerfield Used to do that Dangerfield's in New York City Yeah Yeah man You ever worked that place Yeah It's a shit hole Yeah it's not what it used to be It's fun though It's a great old place Yeah They had great cheeseburgers They had the best cheeseburgers In New York City man When you used to work there You used to be able to get a cheese I was excited to eat a cheeseburger there They had amazing cheeseburgers You did like ground filet mignon or something like that.

[2748] Yeah, back then, stuff was simple.

[2749] Like when I used to do a spot at the strip, like on a Monday night after you picked the number out of the hat on a Friday, and you get one Monday out of the month to perform.

[2750] And then me and the open micas were like, let's go to Jackson Hole and eat a burger like at midnight.

[2751] Yeah.

[2752] And just like, you just felt so accomplished, you know, just doing this artist thing or this comedy thing.

[2753] And you eat Like you heard about Jackson Hall Or just some place And you're eating there We used to dream about Let's go to Carnegie Deli Because all these comics Used to sit there and eat And shit like that And just romantic New York comedy shit like that It was like that at store too It's Carnies Yeah yeah A little A little in the standard Going across the street The standard Late at night after shows Oh you used to go to Mel's Yeah When their food was better That's too sketchy though Yeah Their food is sketchy I don't know if I a standard is fantastic standard has amazing food and it's open super late you can get like real good food at like midnight all right ian let's wrap this motherfucker oh sacramento we'll be there sacramento on thursday night i'll be me will be with me thursday and friday sacramento on thursday for two shows and then fucking friday we're gonna do seattle for two shows then uh saturday night i'm doing um san diego with geron horton what be doing Saturday.

[2754] You've got something going on.

[2755] Yeah, man, after we land, well, you're going to, you're going to where?

[2756] San Diego.

[2757] San Diego.

[2758] I got to fly back that morning and then get on a flight in the evening to Australia.

[2759] I'll be there for like 13 days in Sydney doing a comedy store and some other places out there.

[2760] You're doing stand -up in Sydney?

[2761] Yeah, yeah.

[2762] Oh, okay.

[2763] Yeah, so I'll be there from like the 7th through the 20th.

[2764] Wow.

[2765] Yeah.

[2766] Well, let me know.

[2767] I'll tweet that show.

[2768] I'll let everybody know.

[2769] All right.

[2770] All right, ladies and gentlemen.

[2771] We'll be back tomorrow with Ben Shapiro.

[2772] See you.

[2773] Thanks, fam.

[2774] Thanks, brother.