#1331 - Alonzo Bodden

[0] Hello, Alonzo.

[1] What is up, Joe?

[2] Good to see you, my brother.

[3] Man, it is so good to be back.

[4] It's my first time seeing the new joint.

[5] It's absolutely amazing.

[6] Yeah, I thought you'd been here at the new spot.

[7] No, like I said, you were building this when I did the last one.

[8] And when you said you could do everything here, it's like, yeah, this is the bunker.

[9] I don't live that far from here.

[10] Come on down.

[11] So when the bomb hits, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to Joe's spot.

[12] Well, if you're in the neighborhood, you want to use the gym.

[13] It's always open.

[14] Thanks.

[15] Come on down.

[16] I'll bring canned goods.

[17] Bring water.

[18] Bring water purifiers.

[19] If the shit hits the fan.

[20] Bernie had me nervous.

[21] Bernie Sanders was just here.

[22] He hadn't been nervous.

[23] About climate change.

[24] Whenever someone brings up climate change, it's like a bill that you didn't pay.

[25] Like, ah, fuck.

[26] Yeah, it's real.

[27] And, okay, so now I'm going to do my first shameless plug for my new special.

[28] Is it out now?

[29] August 23rd on Amazon Prime.

[30] It's called.

[31] You're one of the new wave of Amazon specials.

[32] I'm very excited about this.

[33] Yeah, they're testing the, water so it's good to be in so uh it's called heavy lightweight and i call it that because i do some heavy topics and then i mix it in with lightweight shit because that's like if you do all heavy like it's wow that was depressing yeah and you know and i talk about the climate change thing but it's like to be honest like look i'm a black man 57 i got what like 10 years left i don't give a shit you you know what i'm saying like statistically god bless you millennials i wish you luck but I had a good run.

[34] No kids.

[35] Nah.

[36] By the way, you look amazing for 57.

[37] Thank you.

[38] I don't crack.

[39] Well, and this is what I talk about.

[40] Right up until the day it does, right?

[41] So like literally, right till the day before I die, look great.

[42] And what happened?

[43] Some bitch died.

[44] From what?

[45] Been black his whole life.

[46] Shit just caught up with him.

[47] You got fucking diabetes, sickle cell, and high blood pressure in the same day.

[48] A wave.

[49] A wave of malady.

[50] But no, but the climate change thing is real.

[51] But I think the big problem is it's slow.

[52] It's not dramatic.

[53] So people, it's easy to not think about it because, you know, yeah, the ocean's rising, but it's an inch a year.

[54] Right.

[55] Which, you know, that may not be exact, but you know what I mean.

[56] It's not a lot.

[57] Right.

[58] So people don't, people don't see it with the urgency.

[59] And I think that's why you have the young Congress people talking about it because they're like, hey, this is going to be in our lifetime, right?

[60] But then you have the older generation where it's like, eh, you know, it's interesting.

[61] I'm pretty sure, and we should check this, make sure this is correct.

[62] And I think we learned about this from Randall Carlson, that the increased CO2 rates also increases vegetation.

[63] Because vegetation and greenery, they use carbon dioxide.

[64] Right.

[65] Yeah, the increased rates, actually, this is like one of the greenest times ever.

[66] Yeah, but I wonder how does that offset?

[67] versus the there's less land for these plants to grow on you know what i mean like so when you look at like rainforest jungles things like that like this is the opposite of that what was it say that it makes it harder for them to grow but when what article says that is there any articles to say that's not the case because it seems like that's not something randall would lie about he was talking about how um this is like one of the most uh green times ever and the increase of forest and green trees.

[68] Honestly, I guess I'm seeing both of them then.

[69] So the very first things that pop up are high carbon levels make it harder for plants to grow from Think Progress.

[70] Second thing, increased carbon dioxide levels and air restrict plants ability to absorb nutrients.

[71] It's from science .g .g .com, it's another country, I think, Sweden.

[72] Then NASA says...

[73] Think Progress.

[74] Sounds like a bunch of fucking hippies.

[75] A bunch of tree -hugging bitches.

[76] NASA says, though, it's making it greener for now.

[77] Yes.

[78] So I would buy that.

[79] The thing about the thing, and isn't this funny, like with science, you have to check, because you have to see if there's a political agenda.

[80] Click on the NASA one.

[81] You have to see if there's a political agenda behind the science, right?

[82] Yeah.

[83] Oh, for sure.

[84] But with NASA.

[85] I'd go with what NASA says.

[86] So they say, go, scroll back up, please.

[87] CO2 is making the earth greener for now.

[88] And then it says, a quarter to half of Earth's vegetated lands have shown significant.

[89] in greening over the last 35 years largely due to rising levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide, according to a new study published in the journal for Natural Climate Change on April 25th.

[90] Yeah.

[91] See, an international team with 32 authors from 24 institutions in eight countries led the effort, which involved using satellite data from NASA's moderate resolution imaging spectrometer.

[92] And the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's advanced very high resolution radio meter instruments to help determine the leaf area index or the amount of leaf cover over the planet's vegetated regions.

[93] The greening represents an increase in leaves on plants and trees equivalent in areas to two times the continental United States, blah, blah, blah.

[94] So Randall was right, I think.

[95] But I think either way, we're fucked.

[96] And then on top of that.

[97] We'll just be, we'll all die in a very green planet.

[98] How much, if everything melts, if the polarized caps melt, like, can we live in South Dakota or some shit?

[99] I don't know.

[100] I don't think so.

[101] Make it in deep inside?

[102] You know, I don't think so.

[103] Like, you know, they want California to fall into the ocean, right?

[104] You always hear that.

[105] Right.

[106] It's like, yeah, and the tidal wave will kill you.

[107] Yeah.

[108] You know what I mean?

[109] Tell everybody.

[110] So I don't know, I don't think that's safe because it would be such a drastic change.

[111] I mean, right?

[112] So much of the Earth's weather is controlled by the polarized caps, the magnetic poles, the rainfall, you know, glaciers, and it's all interconnected.

[113] Right.

[114] That's why the hurricanes are getting stronger, right?

[115] Is that the speculation?

[116] Yeah.

[117] So if you lose, like the oceans control the Earth's climate because the war, you know, having to do it evaporation and so on.

[118] By the way, for sure you shouldn't be getting weather information from you or me. Listen, we got two experts scientists here.

[119] We've been talking about this for minutes.

[120] And thinking about it for hours, all told, over our lives.

[121] But no, it's real, but it is something I think it's definitely younger people are going to be more interested because it could be a major thing.

[122] Like if you're 30 now, when you're 60, this could be a real.

[123] real big issue it's a bad time to buy real estate in miami no you don't when is a good time to buy real estate in Miami when you got a lot of coke in your pocket and you look at a party you found how you have stage four cancer but you do have a large bag of coke you know I love that you mention that because this has been a thing so the the weed industry being legal right and they say there's all this money that people can't figure out what to do with, right?

[124] The banks don't want it.

[125] Like, Miami was built with cocaine money.

[126] What happened to those money laundering guys who cleaned up all of that money, built all that real estate?

[127] Like, where are they now?

[128] It's a different era.

[129] I can't believe that there's not people out there who can figure out how to clean this weed money and boost the economy.

[130] They will be able to figure it out, but it's going to take a long time.

[131] And the people that are trying to figure it out right now, like the weed dealers that are selling it legally, but then and they have all the stockpiles of cash.

[132] They hire mercenaries.

[133] And they hire Blackwater guys and shit.

[134] Fucking special ops guys to watch their money.

[135] They really have to.

[136] My old condo, I rented out, right?

[137] So I was renting to a guy.

[138] His business was he handled the credit card transactions for the weed places for the dispensaries and stuff.

[139] And, you know, the bank shut him down and he didn't pay the rent.

[140] And I was like, I got.

[141] not the only guy in the weed business who can't make money.

[142] Like, I'm renting, there's one guy in weed who can't, I was like, listen, man, I take cash, just pay the rent.

[143] Like, how can you You're selling weed?

[144] Everybody's buying it.

[145] You're selling weed on credit cards and you can't pay your rent.

[146] How did I end up with this guy?

[147] Loser.

[148] People are flying here to get some weed.

[149] Yeah, they're flying into California.

[150] Yeah, they toured now.

[151] And my guy, nothing.

[152] You know who really took it on the fucking chin is Amsterdam.

[153] Remember when people are talking about going to Amsterdam?

[154] Let's go to Amsterdam and get high.

[155] Yeah.

[156] If you can get high here, stupid.

[157] Right.

[158] They still got hookers in windows, though.

[159] That's true.

[160] They still got that.

[161] That's true.

[162] But who's been there before you?

[163] If you could just see the line of, if you see a video montage of all the guys coming into this hooker, like, just over the last couple weeks.

[164] Joe just ruined Amsterdam tourism.

[165] Yeah.

[166] The Amsterdam Tourist Board is like, why is he picking on us?

[167] What did we do?

[168] Well, they have good fights over there.

[169] But they fucked up when they made mushrooms illegal.

[170] They stopped people from selling mushrooms in the cafes.

[171] Now, is that because why would they do it?

[172] I don't understand why they would do that because I was going to say it's something that they can't regulate.

[173] No, it's dorks go over there and blow their brains out.

[174] They eat too many mushrooms and freak out and try to jump in the river.

[175] That's what it is.

[176] It's dorks.

[177] It's always dorks.

[178] They ruin everything.

[179] Yeah.

[180] You know.

[181] It's weird.

[182] It's weird to me because it's like, listen, if you can't get a handle on your drug tourism, you know, just don't do it.

[183] But I don't know.

[184] It can be done correctly.

[185] I think if you want to do drug tourism correctly, first of all, you need to check people, make sure they're okay.

[186] Find out what kind of medication they are and do a blood test on them.

[187] Find out what kind of medication.

[188] Oh, look, you're on SSRIs.

[189] You didn't even tell us.

[190] Hey, stupid.

[191] You're not supposed to take this stuff.

[192] Right.

[193] This is going to fuck you up.

[194] next you know and really really test them then you know find out about their psychological history and start them off with a nice light dose today today's Tuesday today we're going to give a nice light dose like a half a gram we're just going to see how you react that would be it just just you know this is how much you get and see how you react exactly and then then come back on Wednesday right you to think about it for 24 hours you come back on Wednesday and Wednesday we're going to give you two grams yeah let's see what's up got a got a cut you off yeah and then you come back on saturday and you get that five grand dose of goodness whoa yeah just do it right with doctors nearby and ivies filled with vitamins and i'm sure that's why they don't because who's going to pay for all of that part dorks you know the same dorks i'm sure people would pay if you had like uh if you could save up your money and have like a real safe mushroom trip like a legit safe mushroom trip at a medical institution where they've got everything locked down and everybody's safe and the mushrooms are safe and yeah people would pay a few hundred bucks for that I haven't done mushroom but would that ever no no thanks man you know I'm retired man you know that from everything yeah yeah yeah but yeah we talked about this like when did you retire uh 88 yeah yeah that's crazy yeah I mean you know No, no. You know, I've been high enough that I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

[195] So when you talk about it, it's like fascinating to me. But then there's also that case of like now, like I don't want to be that high.

[196] You know what I mean?

[197] But, and again, I don't knock what anyone else does, but this is what I wanted to ask you, if you did it under those medically supervised conditions, would it still be as much fun?

[198] Yeah, it's fun no matter what.

[199] As long as they leave you alone while you're tripping.

[200] Yeah.

[201] As long as they don't bother you, you know.

[202] Okay.

[203] I mean, like I say, I have no idea.

[204] I have no frame of reference to it, so I can't say like that would be, you know, not be cool or what I don't know.

[205] Do you fuck with CBD at all?

[206] No. That's really good for you and it doesn't get you high.

[207] Yeah, I know.

[208] And I don't, again, I don't knock it.

[209] I don't necessarily have a reason to fuck with CBD.

[210] I'm not in like any kind of pain or anything like that or any, you know.

[211] But I don't knock it.

[212] as a treatment.

[213] I know it does work and there's benefits to it.

[214] It's just not something you need that I need or that I do, you know.

[215] It's like the knees, right?

[216] My knees are kind of trash, but when I work out and stretch and warm them up, it's not bad.

[217] And I've talked to doctor and the doctor like, yeah, eventually we're going to do a knee replacement, but you don't need it now.

[218] What's going on with your knees?

[219] arthritis, just.

[220] You know, you don't have to do a knee replacement.

[221] Stem cells.

[222] Stem cells, which is something I may do.

[223] My mom did it.

[224] I know.

[225] I've heard.

[226] heard you talk about it and that might be the way as a matter of fact I have a friend um and she's like in her she's around 80 and she said yeah that's what they did for her knee they did stem cell my mom had her knees replaced before she passed away and she said yeah that's one of things you inherited from us bad knees it's like in the family like thank you but but she also made me funny so I couldn't really be mad at her she had great sense I was like I'll take the funny and the bad knees the bad knees are workable yeah I'm telling you CBD first of all is going to help that because it reduces the all the symptoms of arthritis like day foley he his hands were fucked up he had like some severe arthritis in his hands CBD completely cured it he couldn't straighten his hands out his hands were always at like a slight bend and now now he's got a full range of motion in his hands he's blown away by it yeah my knee problem is impact you know football or basketball yeah so even so even meniscus and all that stuff is all trashed so even now like I can do most like I can't jump you know I can run I can do so I did this crossfit I tried crossfit and my niece full up and I went to my doctor and he's like cross what the hell is wrong you jumping up on boxes my my my doctor's diagnosis for 90 % of my problems you're old don't do that you got to go to a different doctor man you can you can fix a lot of those problems with stem cells a lot of those problems Yeah, it regenerates tissue, reduces inflammation.

[227] It does a lot of amazing stuff.

[228] Now, and I haven't researched this at all.

[229] I mean, you know, I've heard stuff.

[230] My stem cell knowledge is about equal to my climate change.

[231] Well, mine is slightly better.

[232] Right.

[233] Because I've actually had a bunch done on me. Well, this is what I wanted to ask you about.

[234] So I know when you talked about it early on, you went overseas, right?

[235] No, no, you did get it done here.

[236] So that was my question because I've heard people talking about going to Panama, Panama, Asia.

[237] Dr. Reardon, you know, I don't think you want to go to Asia.

[238] Yeah.

[239] They're doing over there.

[240] But Dr. Reardon, who's the guy who treated Mel Gibson and Mel Gibson's dad, he actually treated my mom.

[241] My mom was in risk of a knee replacement.

[242] You know, she's in pretty, you know, pretty bad pain.

[243] And the doctor's like, you got to get a knee replace him.

[244] I'm like, okay, maybe you have to get a knee replacement.

[245] I go, but before you do that, let's send you to Panama, and they'll do this full three -day stem cell procedure.

[246] They use IV stem cells.

[247] They blast the area over three different days.

[248] They hit it with stem cells.

[249] And, you know, my mom is 73.

[250] So it was a while before it worked.

[251] She, you know, for the first four months, she was a little discouraged.

[252] She was like, I don't feel anything different.

[253] You know, I don't know if this is working.

[254] And then somewhere around five, six months, she started feeling a lack of pain.

[255] And the pain just stopped being like a part of her daily.

[256] life and then now she could walk and it's not bothering her she goes i'm walking with no pain i can walk up hills with no pain and she goes uh i want to do it again so i was like fuck it let's send you down again so she's she's headed down again to get more of it but but you did it here yeah i did it here but well i think now is there a difference yes they can they can go ham in panama they go ham i mean they just fucking fill you up they just bring a fucking bucket of stem cell big ass needle there's they don't have the same regulations that they do in America, so they can get away with a lot of different stuff.

[257] And Dr. Reardon, who is one of the pioneers of this, and he's written multiple papers, and he has, you know, scientific journals all about the benefits of stem cells.

[258] And it's particularly effective on people with neurological conditions, people with neurodegenerative diseases of the like, and he's written extensively about all that stuff.

[259] But when he came on, I mean, he blew me away.

[260] And I had already had some success with stem cells in America where, like, I had a full -length rotator cuff tear in my shoulder.

[261] Right.

[262] And they injected it with exosomes, which is like the most advanced form of stem cells.

[263] So the way they used to think is stem cells, they felt like when you put stem cells into an injury, that the stem cells were re -proliferating this area with new tissue.

[264] But now they think that the stem cells, and I'm sure I'm butchering.

[265] this if you're a scientist.

[266] Now I think they think that the stem cells are releasing exosomes and the exosomes are actually what does it.

[267] So now they just go straight to exosomes and then they inject exosomes into these particular areas.

[268] Now they have another product called Wharton's Jelly that's even more potent that I just got shot into me. Yeah.

[269] Anytime I get injured, man, I just fucking head on down.

[270] I'm like, what's the purpose of money if I'm not fucking shoot myself up with all these juicy stem cells?

[271] There you go.

[272] But it works.

[273] I don't know if I got stem cell cash.

[274] I probably do.

[275] You do.

[276] You do.

[277] It's not bad.

[278] Yeah.

[279] You're a successful comedian with a fucking Amazon special.

[280] No, I do.

[281] Listen, I do all right.

[282] I tell people I do all right.

[283] I don't make as much as they think, but I do all right.

[284] You know what I mean?

[285] Because like when people see you on something, they're like, oh, well, you got $10 million.

[286] Like, no, I don't.

[287] I'd like to, but I don't.

[288] But yeah, so, okay.

[289] Well, we'll talk about that.

[290] Well, this Amazon special might push you on top.

[291] I hope so.

[292] You know, it, I mean, you know me. I've been in the biz forever.

[293] I love the biz.

[294] I love the, I love the, I appreciate the love you give me on the podcast.

[295] People always tell me when you or some get, oh, yeah, man, they were talking about you, you know.

[296] And I appreciate that, right?

[297] KRS1 said a long time ago, respect will outlast cash.

[298] Yes.

[299] You know, so I appreciate that.

[300] I appreciate you too, man. But, yeah, it'd be nice to have something blow up like that, right?

[301] I think you can.

[302] So many times it happens in careers.

[303] So, uh, well, they're doing a lot of specials now.

[304] They got Gaffigan is doing Amazon, uh, Russell Peters doing Amazon, you, who else?

[305] Someone else.

[306] Uh, Jimmy O Yang's got one.

[307] Yes.

[308] Coming up.

[309] Does Fahim have a Amazon?

[310] Fahim Anwar, does he have an Amazon?

[311] But there's a lot of like really funny people that are doing it.

[312] And as long as they put the money into promotion and let people know, I mean, they're, they're doing great right now with Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

[313] Yeah.

[314] And they have a lot of new Amazon Prime series, like that flea bag, supposed to be, hilarious.

[315] They have a lot of good series that they're promoting that people are really getting into.

[316] And if you have Amazon Prime, like if you order shit with Amazon, you get free Amazon TV.

[317] People don't even know that.

[318] I know.

[319] I know.

[320] And it's good.

[321] You know, Amazon is legit.

[322] Good streaming and, uh, yeah.

[323] I'm rooting for them 100%.

[324] Yeah.

[325] And there's, you know, look, Netflix has almost, I mean, they've got the market kind of cornered until Amazon came along because nobody wanted to do them on Comedy Central anymore.

[326] Comedy Central's great.

[327] It's better than no special, but it airs once.

[328] That's the problem with Comedy Central.

[329] It airs once.

[330] Not in this day and age, man. I think, I think HBO is still the big one, you know.

[331] As far as television television?

[332] Yeah.

[333] Yeah, as far as a TV one hour, like HBO is great.

[334] But Showtime was good to me. Showtime put on a couple of specials.

[335] Well, Showtime made Sebastian.

[336] Oh, big time.

[337] Made Sebastian.

[338] Big time.

[339] He just clicked with the showtime.

[340] And it's funny how that happens because you really can't say why, you know, that certain ones do.

[341] And that's no disrespect to Sebastian.

[342] It's just, yeah, certain things take off and others don't.

[343] And it's like, well, I mean, it was really good.

[344] Oh, yeah, no, like I say, no disrespect to him.

[345] No, Sebastian, he's a great comic.

[346] He's been around.

[347] He's worked, you know what I mean?

[348] It's not like he just fell out of the sky, got a special.

[349] didn't have anything behind it.

[350] No, the guy's a comic.

[351] He's real.

[352] But before him, who, well, you know who blew up on Showtime?

[353] Gallagher.

[354] He might be the last guy that blew up on Showtime before Sebastian, right?

[355] I mean, if you stop and think about it.

[356] Yeah.

[357] When, who the fuck else?

[358] It's like Sebastian and Gallagher.

[359] Those are the guys who blew up on Showtime.

[360] Let me think.

[361] Who else?

[362] Yeah, that's comedy -wise.

[363] Dana Gould had a special on Showtime.

[364] Who else?

[365] Well, they did, showtime did a few, like Billy Gardell had the new comics thing.

[366] He did.

[367] He tried to break some new comics on that.

[368] Oh, like a Rodney Dangerfield type deal.

[369] But yeah, you're right.

[370] Yeah.

[371] But again, that's where our business, like this business is fickle, right?

[372] Because they're always trying to figure out, you know, why is this a viral video?

[373] You know what I mean?

[374] Yeah.

[375] Like, man, that Squirrel got more views.

[376] we spent $8 million producing this series and that squirrel got more views than we, you know, and it's like, why?

[377] No one knows.

[378] Yeah, if you're just trying to concentrate and making things viral you will go fucking crazy.

[379] Yeah, you can't figure out, you know, why people are, connect to this one thing, even though others have done it or done something similar or whatever.

[380] Yeah.

[381] Yeah, it's a tricky fucking business.

[382] And then how about YouTube?

[383] Like Russell Peters blew up because of YouTube.

[384] Absolutely.

[385] Worldwide.

[386] Blew up.

[387] And, you know, people, and it's funny because people here, they don't realize how famous Russell is.

[388] Well, it's great.

[389] Because he's not that famous.

[390] He's not as famous here.

[391] No, he can hang out over here.

[392] Yeah.

[393] He could go places and he lives here.

[394] Right.

[395] He's like got the best of both worlds.

[396] Because that motherfucker sold out the O2 Arena, two nights in a row.

[397] I know.

[398] That's like 20 ,000 plus people.

[399] You know who's like that?

[400] Jimmy Carr.

[401] You know, Jimmy?

[402] Oh, sure.

[403] Yeah, he's hilarious.

[404] Yeah, Jimmy's hilarious.

[405] And, like, internationally, Jimmy is unbelievable.

[406] But here, like, they check his ID.

[407] Yeah.

[408] You know, like, he'd pull out the black card and they'd be like, let me see your ID.

[409] Yeah, exactly.

[410] Yeah.

[411] Yeah, I mean, he does roast, those roast shows over here and stuff along those lines.

[412] But, yeah, he doesn't have nearly.

[413] But he's working here more often.

[414] Yeah, he's developing.

[415] I saw him in Montreal, and he said, yeah, he's developing his audience in the state.

[416] So now he's doing, like, small theaters here.

[417] He says, obviously, if he goes anywhere where people from the UK are, like, so when he's in a big city and there's a lot of Brits, then he can sell out.

[418] Like New York or Boston or something like that.

[419] Yeah, he's a great writer.

[420] Oh, man, that guy's funny.

[421] Sharp.

[422] Just, yeah.

[423] And so British, like, so dry and completely inappropriate.

[424] Yes, yes.

[425] You know, that's what I love about.

[426] And we do, in Montreal, we do this benefit show for hope and cope.

[427] And it's like a rehab medical facility.

[428] You know, there's some cancer patients in there and people, other.

[429] And Jimmy just opens like, yeah, I got to hurry up and don't have much time.

[430] Well, I have time.

[431] That was his opening joke.

[432] And they loved it.

[433] They just, they fell out, you know.

[434] And he's like, any of you here last year?

[435] No, probably not.

[436] Anyway.

[437] How do you think at this point most comic go to Montreal to hang out with other comics?

[438] Oh, absolutely.

[439] We call it summer camp, man. You see, you know, yeah, you see friends.

[440] And, like, I see him there every summer.

[441] Right.

[442] And then you see people who you just don't see or don't bump into, you know, regularly and you're regular or whatever, and you get to hang out.

[443] Yeah.

[444] And then there's always new people you meet.

[445] Like this year, I met.

[446] Nick Kroll, who was cool.

[447] He's great.

[448] And, you know, because I like Big Mouth, his cartoon.

[449] And Pete Holmes.

[450] And Pete Holmes was hilarious because he was doing this thing at the roast called Mean Pete.

[451] So he was doing like a completely different character.

[452] Because, you know, Pete Holmes, a nice guy that is it.

[453] And he was at the roast just destroying people.

[454] And he just kept yelling, Mean Pete, you know.

[455] So, but, yeah, so that kind of stuff.

[456] Yeah, it's fun, man. Yeah.

[457] I haven't been in forever.

[458] Well, that was the first time.

[459] I don't know if you remember.

[460] I definitely remember.

[461] It's the first time you and me hung out.

[462] When was this?

[463] What's year?

[464] Like 90s?

[465] And you were like, come on.

[466] And I jump in a cab, and we went around doing spots.

[467] And I'm like, and you'd already been on news radio.

[468] And I'm like, fuck, I'm hanging out with Joe and kept like, we're doing spots.

[469] Like, you know what I mean?

[470] Like, as a new comic, you're like, holy shit, this is the coolest shit.

[471] Because I could get in because I got out the cab with you two.

[472] So they're like, yeah, yeah, you can do five.

[473] So I still remember that.

[474] That was fun.

[475] But that's what Montreal is.

[476] So now I'm that guy.

[477] Right now, I've been to Montreal so much.

[478] I got people calling me in L .A. asking me about Montreal.

[479] They told us to call you.

[480] I had Chris Spencer calling me to get spots on shows.

[481] I was like, Chris, I don't book it.

[482] He's like, yeah, but you know.

[483] And then I was able to get him a spot, so I guess I do know.

[484] I guess it works.

[485] Yeah, but the problem is you get it to, if it works once, you know, then you're the guy they call.

[486] Yeah, that's, so if you listen, if you're listening to this podcast, no, I can't help you.

[487] Do they still have a bunch of different venues?

[488] So we can do drive around and get spots?

[489] Not, no, not as much.

[490] Everything's booked now.

[491] You know the big difference now?

[492] There's a lot more TV.

[493] Like, remember back then there were like two or three people had hours.

[494] You know, now there's like a whole series of one hours that they're taping.

[495] And then, you know, like Kevin Hart did the whole LOL thing there for a couple of years.

[496] So he was taping all of that.

[497] So there's a lot more TV is more involved.

[498] This year there wasn't a whole lot of Netflix.

[499] The last two years, there was a ton of.

[500] on a Netflix and Netflix was doing a bunch of half hours and stuff.

[501] And they were filming them in Montreal?

[502] Yeah, they were filming them at the festival.

[503] That seems weird to me. It seems like the festival is supposed to be fun.

[504] It's not supposed to film a special.

[505] I think it's still fun in that, like you said, you see other comics and you get to hang out, but there's not the development business that there used to be.

[506] That's not there, but the content business is there.

[507] And they figure, like, we got all these comics in one place, we'll set up cameras and we'll shoot bang, bang, bang, bang.

[508] I think that's so there's less of the, there's still some shows where you could just, you know, jump on and it's friends of whoever.

[509] And the midnight shows, they still do that.

[510] They have like a whole midnight surprise or whatever where you don't even know who's on the show.

[511] In that day, they call people like, hey, you want to do a spot.

[512] And they still have the nasty show?

[513] They still, the nasty show is still huge.

[514] They do the ethnic show.

[515] Now, remember they used to be.

[516] That's what they call it?

[517] Well, they used to be like the wise guys was the Italian show, right?

[518] And then they had the Jewish show, and then they had the Uptown, was a black show, and this and that.

[519] Well, now they've combined all of that, and they call it the ethnic show, and they have, so there'll be just different comics on there from different ethnic groups.

[520] I've hosted it a couple of times.

[521] It's a lot of fun.

[522] Did they expect you to do ethnic material?

[523] No. some you do some some some don't I think my favorite one one year I was hosting it and Natterman was on it Dan Natterman who you know Natterman he's hilarious guy and he was like yeah ethnic yeah I'm a Jewish comic from New York that's such a rare find ethnic is a weird word too isn't everybody ethnic yeah but but it's there you know it's the right title for catch all and also the other big thing is Canada that it's not as, they're not as hung up on it, right?

[524] So you're not as worried about being politically correct or hurting someone's feelings.

[525] You know what I mean?

[526] Like they understand, yeah, this is a comedy festival and people are going to say shit that is inappropriate and being friends.

[527] You know, we make fun of each other, right?

[528] And it's so, yeah, so your ethnic group may come into it, but not from a point of racism or hatred or judgment.

[529] Just it's fucking funny that we're the same or different in our ethnicity or in our background, and we joke about it.

[530] Does comedy works exist anymore out there?

[531] Went under, right?

[532] Unfortunately, the works went under.

[533] Didn't Jimbo take off?

[534] Yeah.

[535] Vanish somewhere?

[536] I don't know what happened to Jimbo.

[537] I don't know.

[538] I'm not sure what happened to him.

[539] Jimbo was great.

[540] club was, that was the epitome of comedy, right?

[541] You go upstairs.

[542] There's 150 people in a 120 seat room.

[543] Is it even that many?

[544] It was 120 seats and the fire marshal would have shut it down every night, right?

[545] Because if there was a fire in comedy works, it would have been a horrible tragedy.

[546] But the energy was like, you get on that stage and just kill.

[547] And you know, it's like, yeah, we got the gala over here.

[548] We got 3 ,000 seats in the most beautiful theater.

[549] You can imagine but you really want to see the you really want to have fun go upstairs the comedy works and sweat you're literally sweating for 15 minutes because there's no air conditioning it was terrible if it worked heat rises so we should put this place upstairs well when they wanted to stay warm in the winter yeah and they have like a little comedy scene like a local scene yeah and they still have they still have some places like there was one i was working i can't remember the name of it but it was the same kind of vibe it was like an upstairs bar that they converted for the for the festival they put in a hundred chairs and you you know and it was great and that's where they were doing midnight surprise so that that venue is still really cool and then they have the theater st katherine which is like this small stage in a long room yeah i did that one more and that that one still has you know so so there are still some places that have that funky comedy vibe i mean you know but that comedy works room is it still there could somebody like turn i don't know i have no idea if it's if it's there if it's been redeveloped but yeah works was that was the shit that was the great that was the fun room that was where you ran your set before you do your you know gala or tv taping or whatever and it would just just kill crackling that was the first time i ever saw lenny shultz you ever see crazy lenny do you know crazy lenny no he was a hilarious guy that was right when i was coming up he was just at the end of his run the end of his career He's this wild, crazy old man who would bring props on stage.

[550] But it was like, his attitude was like, he was so fun, just a maniac.

[551] Like he would pull up a, you know, Smokey the Bear doll.

[552] And he was like, only you can prevent forest fires.

[553] And he just yells, fuck you.

[554] And he punches his bear of the face.

[555] It didn't make any sense.

[556] And on paper, it sounds so stupid.

[557] No, but I know what you mean.

[558] You're fucking holding your body.

[559] You couldn't even stop laughing.

[560] My favorite random funny thing like that.

[561] There's a guy still touring, as far as I know, in Canada, called Mel Silverback.

[562] You ever hear of Mel Silverback?

[563] Mel Silverback.

[564] Half Silverback Mountain Gorilla.

[565] And he would wear the tuxedo with a big ruffled shirt like the old Cat Skills comics.

[566] And he wore gorilla hands and a gorilla head.

[567] I'm telling you.

[568] And he would do these old Cat Skills style jokes.

[569] With a gorilla mask on?

[570] Oh, man, Joe.

[571] He auditioned for last comic when I was a judge.

[572] We were falling out of you.

[573] Jane Goodall.

[574] She's a whore.

[575] You should have seen her with those chimps.

[576] It was disgusting.

[577] Like he was doing it.

[578] And apparently he's a thing in Canada.

[579] Like he's a late night dirty comic towards Canada.

[580] But it was the dumbest thing.

[581] But to see it, I mean, we were pounding on the table.

[582] We could not breathe because it was all old, cheap, one -line.

[583] like the Catskills and he had the suit and he was a gorilla and he would put it all in so it was all from a silverback mountain gorilla point of view like what's your point of view silverback mountain gorilla is how I see the world but the good thing about that act too is like he could die and somebody could just take a spot yeah somebody could take over you know and and the thing was we picked him for last comic right but then this is where TV kills comedy so now he's on prime him NBC and he can't do that like you can't say she's a whore and you can't do everything that made him funny was like no the censors won't allow it so now people are like why is he wearing gorilla hands yeah it just so sad yeah tv just rips the guts out of comedy again let me see what makes you funny okay let's not do that do you remember Gallagher too yeah remember his brother you couldn't afford Gallagher so yeah he was doing like Gallagher was doing like Gallagher was giant theaters and Gallagher 2 his brother was doing like little comedy clubs yeah like he I would see it like in places that I was working yeah like when I was coming up it would be like oh and then next weekend it's Gallagher 2 I'm like what's Gallagher too and didn't they get into a fight like a legal fight over ownership of because Gallagher wanted to come back yeah see Gallagher apparently like temporarily retired and he sold his act to his brother Gallagher too and his brother looked his brother looked a lot like him and he had you know he just basically he picked up like a job it's like having an affiliate or like a you know like a like syndication yeah you syndicated the act yeah you just you know if you if you want to buy a 7 -11 yeah well it's like the blue man group like there's different blue man groups around the country yeah yeah that's true but there's no like if it was a blue man right If it was just one blue man, maybe it would be...

[584] So Gallagher's brother took all the jokes and the props and started buying watermelons and sledgehammers and just toured the country.

[585] I would love to be in court when they had that fight.

[586] Like, Your Honor, here's how I smash a watermelon.

[587] And then it is my brother.

[588] This is I smash a watermelon.

[589] Like, how do you decide?

[590] I think it was just a matter of whether or not he could continue to do the act.

[591] But, I mean, is it his last name, Gallagher?

[592] Is it a real name?

[593] so it is.

[594] Leo was the original and Ron is the brother.

[595] And they're both named Gallagher.

[596] It's like if a girl breaks up with you and you fuck her slightly less good looking sister, it's like, hmm, I don't know if this is right.

[597] Not quite.

[598] Yeah.

[599] So that's, I think right here is the OG.

[600] That's the original.

[601] That's the original?

[602] This picture here would be the brother.

[603] Is it?

[604] Wow.

[605] Are you sure?

[606] Yeah, that's what I picked up this.

[607] Wow, that is, yeah.

[608] I wouldn't want to be that judge because that.

[609] The ballot of Ron Gallagher, blog foot?

[610] Yeah, some of us Have read the story about it Wow So yeah It was close enough So you would kind of feel It was Gallagher How weird And so then after a while I think Gallagher got tired Of being retired And he said I'm coming back And his brother's like Well I'm fucking Gonna continue doing this act He's like no you're not bitch You don't have to find a new way To make a living But I bought it from you Right So I own it now Like you being in your probably 40s and your brother, who's like of a similar age, just picks up comedy and just starts doing your routine, like 100%.

[611] You know, he calls himself Alonzo too.

[612] Yeah.

[613] That's crazy.

[614] Well, Charlie Murphy could have done that, right?

[615] He sounded enough like Eddie that he could.

[616] I mean, no, no, no, he wouldn't.

[617] But what I'm saying is he could have done it piggyback to Eddie.

[618] Yeah, that's such a different way of talking.

[619] Yeah.

[620] I mean, his way of talking was so much more aggressive and raspy.

[621] Yeah.

[622] I missed that, dude.

[623] Yeah.

[624] I had a good fucking time with him, man. We did a whole tour of the country for 30 days.

[625] Oh, nice.

[626] He met him and Heffron.

[627] Oh, yeah?

[628] Yeah.

[629] That's cool.

[630] Maxim Bud Light tour.

[631] You remember what those, the real men of But.

[632] Blood Light, where they would sing the real American heroes.

[633] The guy who was, the guy who sang was the lead singer of Survivor, the Eye of the Tiger guy.

[634] Oh, yeah?

[635] Yeah.

[636] So we were on tour with those guys.

[637] So those guys would sing songs and they had like little punch lines.

[638] They would do with the songs.

[639] And they would have a local guy, which is actually how I met Tom Segura.

[640] I met Tom Segura because we were doing the Hollywood theater or celebrity theater, whatever it is in Phoenix.

[641] and Segura was the opening act, the local opening act.

[642] Flown him in.

[643] And I think he did like five or ten minutes, and he was hilarious.

[644] That's why I became buddies with him and started taking him on the road with me. But then, you know, there would be the real American hero guys, and then it would be Hefron, and then Charlie and me. And we did 22 dates over a month.

[645] We had a great fucking time.

[646] I only met him once, but he was real cool.

[647] I met him in Vegas.

[648] And just, you know, one of those we were, it was a dirty at 1230.

[649] We were doing the dirty, and he came by, and we just, you know, just hung out backstage, met him for a minute.

[650] But, yeah, he seemed cool.

[651] Couldn't be cool.

[652] That was maybe a year, a year, maybe two years at most before he passed away.

[653] Yeah, he did my podcast in the early, early, early days.

[654] We always talked about doing it again, but he never did it again.

[655] But he had some great fucking stories about Mike Tyson, about visiting Mike Tyson, and Mike Tyson was outside with a tiger and nobody wanted to get out of a limo.

[656] Well, you know that?

[657] The tragic thing about comics, right, is when a comic dies, his act dies with him.

[658] Yeah.

[659] You know, whereas singers, somebody else will sing the songs that it is, but when a comic goes, so when you have some, like Patrice, you know, like, that's all gone.

[660] Like, you know, and so many comics, like, yeah, when they're gone, that act is gone.

[661] And you remember it, and it was hilarious, but nobody can't, nobody can do their act after that.

[662] I think there was a guy that was doing a bill.

[663] Hicks tribute show and he was doing Bill Hicks with all Bill Hicks material and he dressed like him and acted like him.

[664] How far did that go?

[665] It died that day.

[666] Yeah, I don't know.

[667] Exactly.

[668] See if you can find that.

[669] I think they were trying to do that almost like someone trying to be like Mark Twain.

[670] Like you could do a Samuel Clemens one man show and read the works of Mark Twain with a goofy mustache on.

[671] Right.

[672] Well, it's like in Vegas, the rat pack.

[673] You know, they can do that.

[674] Right.

[675] But it It doesn't work with comedy.

[676] You could do the rat pack.

[677] You can't do Don Rickles.

[678] You just, you can't do it.

[679] No, you can't.

[680] Yeah, Vegas is a weird place for fucking impersonators, right?

[681] That impersonator life, I can't imagine it because some of them are so deep into it.

[682] Like, we worked, you know, I do these jazz cruises, and they do other crews.

[683] So they had an 80s cruise, and we had a Michael Jackson impersonator.

[684] and this guy stayed in character for the whole cruise to where you want to say like, you know, you know you're not Michael Jackson.

[685] I mean, he was like getting off the ship in port.

[686] You know what I mean?

[687] Like when you go to the shops or have lunch, Michael Jackson.

[688] Full outfit?

[689] Outfit.

[690] Glove?

[691] Yeah.

[692] The hair, the makeup.

[693] Whoa.

[694] Yeah.

[695] It was weird.

[696] And, you know, it's kind of a strange talent, right?

[697] To be like, yeah, I'm this person.

[698] So what if that person didn't exist?

[699] Who are you?

[700] What's your thing, you know?

[701] And I heard the Prince guy is like that.

[702] I don't know, but I've heard that there's a Prince guy who had surgery to look more like Prince.

[703] Oh, there's a few Michael Jackson guys had surgery to look like Michael Jackson.

[704] What do you got, Jamie?

[705] Well, first, Google Images just changed this and my mic just fucked up.

[706] So this stuff looks weird now, but I found something, a show that was done about 10 years ago where a guy did a show called Bill Hicks' Slight Return, where he did a show as if Bill Hicks was still here 10 years after his death.

[707] Oh, with, like, new material?

[708] Yeah.

[709] The fuck out of here.

[710] That's even worse.

[711] That's disgusting.

[712] I'm going to project what Bill Hicks would have thought of today's world.

[713] Yeah.

[714] He's in London.

[715] It wasn't half if it was even here.

[716] Fucking London.

[717] Settle down London.

[718] stop trying that's what they need to get Alex Jones to be Bill Hicks give him a little more hair but I think that's the closest thing I could find that we were talking about oh there's been a couple shows okay maybe I read it wrong because I could have swore there was a guy who was doing Bill Hicks material he was doing it again what is that Bill Hicks dark poet lower right is that actually Hicks the lower right hand side the blue one keep going bang what's that yeah that's it that's not yeah that's not hicks that's the guy that pretended to be hicks that's the guy that's the same show i was telling you about barf this show is oh it's in edlera but this show is a bumpy journey that shows death oh yeah no this is a different guy even he did a show called dark poet but the same kind of thing stop look the way they dress everything stop you're not from texas shut your mouth go home go home you fuck write your own act.

[719] So that's the thing about comedy.

[720] I'm going to go to Edinburgh and pretend to be Bill Hicks and hope nobody here has ever actually seen him.

[721] Get some surgery.

[722] Looked like Hicks.

[723] The Michael Jackson people are like, you got to get fucked up surgery.

[724] Yeah.

[725] Not regular surgery.

[726] You got to get like the fucked up chin thing.

[727] It's a, it's the weirdest.

[728] Like, again, like you say, to be an impersonator.

[729] And now I guess queen is, you know, big, like as they make these movies, right?

[730] So now people are going to want to be.

[731] They want to overwites.

[732] Yeah.

[733] They want to get an override.

[734] Get some buck teeth.

[735] Can you mess up these teeth?

[736] Yeah.

[737] They probably have to wear fake teeth.

[738] Body are young, man. He had some crazy -ass teeth.

[739] What a talent that guy had.

[740] But he said, yeah, it helped his voice.

[741] Really?

[742] That's what he said, you know, in the movie that he said he could sing at that range because of his shape of his mouth, which may be true.

[743] I don't know.

[744] I don't know how it.

[745] How does he know?

[746] He's never had a different shape of mouth.

[747] That's true.

[748] Yeah.

[749] Well, whatever it was, it worked.

[750] He's making lemonade.

[751] That's what it is.

[752] But you're right.

[753] Like that talent, you know, that, are there is, who's like that now?

[754] Are there bands like that now that, you know?

[755] Because they just, because Queen kept, like, every song was different.

[756] Like, you knew it was Queen, but it was completely different than the last hit that they did.

[757] Yeah.

[758] That's what was crazy about it.

[759] I think those bands that grew up.

[760] with no internet they will forever be unique because it was a different world and the the kind of creativity that it took to become those bands like the kind of creativity that it takes to become the who you know like try today the world is like a different place like they they develop touring and like the Beatles they develop touring and performing constantly and writing and and and you know Sure, they were influenced by other bands, but not nearly to the extent that people are today.

[761] Yeah.

[762] And also, there's kind of a conformity today to the marketing.

[763] Like, we want you to be this so we can sell it, you know.

[764] I was playing Earthwin and Fire for somebody, and it was one of their instrumentals.

[765] And I told them, I said, well, you know, Earth One and Fire would also play jazz with Ramsey Lewis.

[766] Like, they were the same musicians.

[767] And they were like, oh, they said, because I saw him once, and they were doing this whole jazz.

[768] jazz thing and I wondered what it was and it was like yeah they were actual musician and a band like can you imagine showing up now with a band like yeah there's 27 of us we got a horn section and addition to that they'd be like what no like we're not paying for actual musicians like those bands had horn sections and and rhythm section it was a lot of people how did they make money and well they charge a lot for tickets they have to well you know what else seven people on the stage.

[769] Records.

[770] Right.

[771] Records were real.

[772] Records.

[773] So record sales, like when you sold a million records, you made a lot of money from selling a million records.

[774] And then you had, you know, those bands, like I did one of these 80s things with war.

[775] And the number blew my mind, but then I realized that war sold over 50 million records.

[776] Whoa.

[777] Right.

[778] But then when you think about it, Yeah, they had a hit every summer for like six, seven years, right?

[779] Like, why can't we be friends, a low rider on it?

[780] They had a whole list of hit.

[781] Like, every one of the songs would start playing.

[782] Like, oh, yeah, I know this song.

[783] I know this song.

[784] You know?

[785] 50 million records.

[786] And how much do you think each record cost?

[787] 10 bucks?

[788] Yeah.

[789] Yeah.

[790] What more records?

[791] 999 or whatever.

[792] Yeah, something like that.

[793] So that's 500 million.

[794] Yeah.

[795] probably got they got they had to get what at least a buck or two bucks off of each one after everybody else took their cut uh yeah and then all the touring money yeah i was i was talking to someone who's a band is in a band now and they were explaining to me that these record companies they don't just take your record sales anymore like iTunes sales and they they now take merchandise they take touring money when you sign you sign to an all -exclusive deal because the record companies can't really justify their existence anymore because they can't really sell records.

[796] Right, you can't.

[797] Yeah, because all the musicians I know say the only time they sell CDs or records or whatever is at the live show.

[798] Like, they have to go out and sell, they're like us now.

[799] Right.

[800] They got to go out and do merch.

[801] Like, they didn't have to do that before.

[802] It's like, yeah.

[803] But imagine like you're buying a CD now.

[804] Who's buying a CD?

[805] Yeah.

[806] Look at it.

[807] You know, what am I do with this thing?

[808] I want to have a slot for it.

[809] Well, yeah, that's what people say when they buy them after shows.

[810] They're like, you know, and I joke about Like, because I have CDs and download cards.

[811] You sell CDs still?

[812] It's generational.

[813] It is literally the line is right at about the age 40.

[814] If they're older, they want a CD, right?

[815] And I said, you know, so if you try to sell them a download card, they're like, what?

[816] I'm not paying you for a business card.

[817] What is this, right?

[818] But then if you get a younger person and you try to sell them a CD, where am I going to play this?

[819] My grandfather's house?

[820] Like, my computers don't even come with a drive anymore.

[821] like a disc route.

[822] People like records now.

[823] People want to buy vinyl.

[824] Why don't you sell vinyl?

[825] Because that's a small percentage that want to buy vinyl.

[826] But I think your crowd, like you're into jazz and shit?

[827] Nah, they're buying, you know what?

[828] Jazz fans still have CD players.

[829] Like they made the switch from records to CDs and they're like, that's it.

[830] I'm not going back.

[831] I'm not getting the records out of the garage.

[832] So there's not a record industry for jazz?

[833] Some, but it's for the, uh, It's for the, yeah, yeah, there's some, but it's not big.

[834] Blue Notes doing, Blue Note Jazz label is doing records again and for their artists, but they're selling to the younger people, not the older people.

[835] Older people aren't buying turntable, new turntables to play it.

[836] That makes sense.

[837] Where is a good jazz place in L .A.?

[838] Like if I wanted to go see jazz.

[839] Man, you know, the crazy thing about L .A. is all the jazz musicians live here and they all say well we don't play here there's no money to be made so there's why they live here because it's L .A. They record here you know and they tour I'm trying to remember name of it on sunset Catalina Bar and Grill on sunset is good and vibrato on Beverly Glenn is good vibrato's owned by Herb Alpert Oh really?

[840] Yeah So is this something like you'll go out like on a Wednesday night or something like that you'll go see some jazz?

[841] Yeah, I do more, I love going to festivals.

[842] Yeah, I love going to jazz festivals.

[843] I'm guilty that.

[844] I'll go to a jazz club in New York more so than I would in L .A. Really?

[845] Yeah.

[846] Why?

[847] Because it's more the vibe, the vibe in New York.

[848] It just fits.

[849] That's where they come from.

[850] And that's where they jam.

[851] But I've been to a few times.

[852] I'll go to definitely if I know somebody who's playing there, I'll go see them at Catalina.

[853] I've never experienced good jazz.

[854] I'm sure it's real.

[855] I know you're not dumb.

[856] No. I got to be.

[857] Man, this.

[858] What is this, Jamie?

[859] This is Catalina, but Dick Van Dyke performs there kind of frequently.

[860] Right.

[861] He performs jazz?

[862] That's the only reason I know of it because it's on sunset in Hollywood.

[863] Oh, there he is.

[864] Is he doing stand -up?

[865] No, he does jazz.

[866] He sings.

[867] What?

[868] See, but this is the thing, and this is the thing about jazz.

[869] So you see that.

[870] Now, call up a guy.

[871] A couple.

[872] Hold on, I want to hear some of this.

[873] Before I swing you.

[874] Oh, here don't.

[875] Is he got a cigarette?

[876] Yeah.

[877] Okay.

[878] Stop this immediately.

[879] Yeah.

[880] So that's old.

[881] Yes.

[882] Just old.

[883] But that's a jazz that keeps people from listening to jazz.

[884] Yeah.

[885] You know, that's a jazz through like, oh, never mind.

[886] You look up a guy like Robert Glover, who's just this brilliant young keyboard player, and he has two bands.

[887] He has the Robert Glassper trio, which is just a jazz trio, piano, bass, and drums, which are brilliant.

[888] Then he's got the Robert Glassper experience, which is his electronic, electric band, and he'll have everyone singing on that from like Leila Hathaway, Donnie Hathaway's daughter, who's a brilliant vocalist, to Lupe Fiasco, you know, to most deaf.

[889] They all perform together.

[890] He hangs out with the root.

[891] The roots have a jam session in New York that all these jazz artists come to.

[892] So that's what's going on that I love.

[893] It's really, I mean, jazz has always been the most creative music.

[894] You know, it's just, and that's why I love it.

[895] These guys are, they're masters of their instruments, and it's all about creativity.

[896] And they, you know, even when they do covers, it's great because they do it.

[897] in such a different way.

[898] You know, like Robert Glassburg experience, the first time I heard him, they did smells like teen spirit.

[899] And I was like, thank you.

[900] It was, can he look at it?

[901] He can look up anything.

[902] So that's the kind of thing in jazz, you know, my buddy Marcus Miller, who's this brilliant bass player who was, he was Luther Vandross's musical director.

[903] And he did all the music for Luther, right?

[904] And that was all great.

[905] But he also produced music for Miles Davis, you know.

[906] And he's done stuff again with anybody from like, you know, Bill Withers to classic old school jazz artists.

[907] So yeah, jazz covers a wide range.

[908] And that's what I love about it.

[909] But there's a lot of young jazz artists now who are bringing in hip hop and different genres into jazz that are making it really cool.

[910] international stuff, a lot of African sound coming in, Brazilian sound coming in.

[911] And these are the guy, Terrace Martin, who's in a group called R &R equals now with Glasper.

[912] Terris Martin does all of Kendrick Lamar's music.

[913] Really?

[914] See, so that's, so it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, I'll go with Kendrick Lamar and I, you know, I just, I need to make $5 million.

[915] So I'm going to do this music but when I can just create and play and have fun and just be a musician then I go to my jazz roots and I jam with these guys in a whole different different vibes so here's right here yeah that's hilarious what is going on with his head what is up there is that hair yeah is it a hat can't help you with that red stripe I got nothing like what's happening no no it's a hat that's a hat Yeah.

[916] Like, that can't be his hair.

[917] Interesting.

[918] So he's using a vocoder, so as he sings, it comes through the instrument.

[919] Wow.

[920] These guys got to be high.

[921] Yeah.

[922] No way around it.

[923] Well, that part of jazz never changed.

[924] Miles Davis has always been fascinating to me. All the people in the musical history, like he's always been, like with this one dude, but I was like, wow.

[925] loved to met that guy.

[926] He was so fucking intense.

[927] Marcus, you know, played in his band and knew him.

[928] I would have loved to have seen him just to see him live because, you know, he did a record called Kind of Blue, which is the biggest selling jazz record ever.

[929] He did it in 59.

[930] It still sells thousands of copies a week.

[931] Like it's still a big, you know, Kind of Blue is the standard.

[932] But he also played covers of like human nature and time after time.

[933] Like in the 80s, he was doing covers of that.

[934] Wow.

[935] You know, so, again, that was the thing about the jazz art. He was like, yeah, well, it's good music, so I'm going to play it.

[936] Like, I don't care if it was written by Cindy Lopper or, you know, Duke Ellington.

[937] If it's good music, I'm going to play it.

[938] And that's what's so cool about.

[939] But, yeah, so those are places.

[940] But when you go to the jazz festivals, you know, whether it be the Playboy Jazz Festival, Newport Jazz Festival, just like our comedy festivals, it's where you get a bunch of musicians who are like, yeah, we're all here together, let's, let's, let's jam, let's play something.

[941] And sometimes the best music will be random, not, not, you know, not part of the set, but like, oh man, remember when we played together in, you know, 97 in Montreux, yeah, let's come on stage and we'll play.

[942] And then you hear something that, again, just like in comedy, when some comics just improving or, you know, they're, they're doing the same thing.

[943] they're improv.

[944] To me, the big compliment I get from jazz musicians when they compliment me on my improv, you know, because it's like, yeah, you guys are the experts.

[945] You, like improv is you guys created it.

[946] So if I'm doing something and you think it's cool, Craig Robinson, you know, Craig.

[947] Sure.

[948] He's a talk about both sides.

[949] Like, he's got the comedy and music thing, and he's respected on both.

[950] He's like, the musicians love him and comics love him.

[951] And he's, yeah, Craig.

[952] And in my, and my.

[953] Montreal, Craig did a big outdoor show, like it was like a block party.

[954] Like the giant outdoor stage.

[955] Yeah, Craig played it.

[956] And it was hilarious because he's doing his act, right?

[957] So it's a big outdoor thing and families with their kids.

[958] And he's singing, take your panties off.

[959] And I'm like, yeah, so this I guess is the uncensored Craig.

[960] But it was hilarious, you know.

[961] Very cool.

[962] I saw Dizzy Gillespie once when I was a kid.

[963] When I was in, I was kind of had to be like second or third.

[964] Great.

[965] I was living in San Francisco.

[966] We had a field trip.

[967] Went to see Dizzy Gillespie live.

[968] And I'll never forget it.

[969] Like, you know, his cheeks would blow up like a bullfrog.

[970] Right.

[971] And it was like, but that's not even the way you're supposed to play the trumpet.

[972] Right.

[973] And that's what's so great about it.

[974] Like nobody, because nobody taught him the right way to play it.

[975] So he just played it.

[976] Most people don't even know who Dizzy Gillespie is, but if you see him live, you never forget like that.

[977] Right.

[978] Like, what in the fuck?

[979] like you see his face blow up you're like how how how how are you doing that how is that real but you're supposed to keep your cheeks tight like the way they would teach you they would never teach you to do that and you probably couldn't I know I couldn't you know just he just had a way of doing it I wonder what year he died don't know um but I was a little kid when I saw him.

[980] Here's it.

[981] He died in 93.

[982] In New Jersey.

[983] Damn.

[984] I I met Arturo Sandoval and they did a movie about him.

[985] Andy Garcia did a movie about him.

[986] So Arturo really?

[987] Yeah, he's this Cuban trumpet player and I want to say it was, he was telling the story and I want to say it was Dizzy Gillespie who was in Cuba and Arturo was like driving him around, right?

[988] This is like in there, I guess it would be in the late 50s maybe early 60s and he asked Arturo what he does and it's like Arturo like I played a trumpet but the Cubans were like oh yeah that's like all the Cubans knew who he was so he played and dizzy Gillespie and the head I want to say it was dizzy I might be wrong but they went to the U .S. State Department the head of CBS Records and said we have to get him in the United States like he has to be here and they did it The State Department got an Arturo.

[989] Now, imagine this, Joe.

[990] How did they get him?

[991] They went to the State Department.

[992] It was an artist thing.

[993] They said, we want this guy to come to the U .S. How did they sneak him out of Cuba?

[994] I have no idea.

[995] But, no, they didn't sneak him out.

[996] It was a state -sponsored thing.

[997] So he came over here to perform and then went back?

[998] No, he came over and stayed.

[999] But this was the crazy part.

[1000] This is the part I can't imagine.

[1001] So he flies from Cuba into LaGuardia Airport.

[1002] And they take him straight to Carnegie Hall for sound.

[1003] check.

[1004] And he plays Carnegie Hall that night.

[1005] I mean, can you imagine, like, imagine your first gig, right?

[1006] Like, somebody saw you, you know, I don't know, Rodney Dangerfield saw you at a club in Boston.

[1007] And he was like, Okay, Joe.

[1008] Oh, my God.

[1009] It's a crazy story.

[1010] But to this day, but Arturo is like, when he plays the trumpet, you know, it's him.

[1011] Like, he hits notes on the trumpet like only dogs can hear like he's famous for this super high notes and stuff like that but yeah that that's that's what I love about it so I love the creativity and then you know Marcus was telling me because he's from New York from Queens 70s 80s he said well you know what happened with hip hop he said one of the things was they took music out of the schools right they didn't you know they don't teach you can't take an instrument anymore they were like it's out of the budget but he said well you can't stop people from creating so these guys they didn't have musical instruments, but they had records.

[1012] So they just started making music with their records.

[1013] They just started mixing the records and coming up with new sound.

[1014] And it was like, yeah, that kind of makes sense.

[1015] If you're musical and nobody teaches you to play an instrument, but you have these records, you're like, all right, well, what if I played this and this at the same time?

[1016] Right.

[1017] Right.

[1018] And then the next thing, you know, they made that hip -hop, which that hip -hop caught on.

[1019] Yeah, that never existed before, right?

[1020] the idea of mixing two different records together until hip hop came around.

[1021] No one never did that with rock and roll, didn't?

[1022] No, no. And then hip hop mixed in rock and roll, right?

[1023] When, you know, run DMC with Aerosmith, walk this way.

[1024] That blew people's minds.

[1025] You know, because that was like, wait a minute, that's black and a white.

[1026] They can't play together.

[1027] And Adidas was like, yes, they can.

[1028] And they're wearing Adidas while they do.

[1029] Did you ever listen to any of the brand new heavy?

[1030] When they did hip hop with the brand new heavies.

[1031] There's a heavy, it's a heavy rhyme experience.

[1032] Is that what it's called?

[1033] It's to this day one of my, one of my favorite old school, like 1990 style rap slash.

[1034] Yeah, the brand new heavies were great.

[1035] They were great.

[1036] And then you had Living Color, who I still love.

[1037] Oh, man. I forgot about that.

[1038] Cult of personnel.

[1039] Yeah, that was a great.

[1040] And you talk about being ahead of their time.

[1041] Like, think about that song, cult of personality, today.

[1042] Right.

[1043] Like, yeah, right.

[1044] And that's a CM Punk walkout music.

[1045] Yeah.

[1046] Yeah.

[1047] And that was another band where they were like, okay, let me get this straight.

[1048] This is a heavy, like a heavy metal rock and roll band of black guys who are sampling public enemy.

[1049] Right.

[1050] What the fuck?

[1051] Yeah.

[1052] Well, there's some weird, some, there he is, he had the crazy.

[1053] hair with the shaved sides and he would wear the uh he would wear the uh wet suits all the time the wetsuits yeah he used like a scuba suits yeah he used to jam and nose yeah really yeah damn that seemed like he would get sweaty as fuck that is what he's wearing he probably just want to show his dick off hey you're a rock star why not back in the day like you ever see like those robert plant he had these tight pants on you see his hog that he's wearing a suit he's wearing a He really is.

[1054] We're in a goddamn spandex sweatsuit.

[1055] That's so weird.

[1056] That was his thing.

[1057] Oh, wow.

[1058] They fucking vanished.

[1059] What happened to them?

[1060] They came back out.

[1061] They did the 25th anniversary.

[1062] I saw it at Hard Rock.

[1063] They did the 25th anniversary of their record.

[1064] Vivid cult of personality, yeah.

[1065] And they toured it.

[1066] Look at that silly swimsuit.

[1067] Wow.

[1068] How crazy.

[1069] Yeah, that was a great fucking song.

[1070] But, you know, that's always freaked me out, too.

[1071] Like, imagine being a band, you have one song that just out of the park, crack!

[1072] Just in the parking lot, you know, just one fucking Grand Slam, home run.

[1073] God damn, we did it.

[1074] This is huge, number one song in the nation, seven weeks in a row, and nothing.

[1075] Well, yeah, but imagine, well, what do they say, you got your whole life to write that song.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] And then we got two years to write the night, write it, do it again.

[1078] But there's also like some bands, they just catch fire with what.

[1079] Like, do you remember Warrant Cherry Pie?

[1080] Yeah.

[1081] She's my cherry pie.

[1082] Giant fucking huge song.

[1083] And that was it.

[1084] That dude died near here.

[1085] Hey.

[1086] He died in Woodland Hills in a fucking shitty hotel somewhere.

[1087] I'm going to give you the one hit wonder you wanted.

[1088] Okay.

[1089] The twist.

[1090] The twist.

[1091] What did Chubby Checker ever sing?

[1092] Oh, my God.

[1093] Come home, baby.

[1094] Imagine that.

[1095] You had the song.

[1096] That was like.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] That was the shit.

[1099] What's Chubby Checkers number two hit?

[1100] I don't know.

[1101] That's a great point.

[1102] But that somehow or another was good enough for him to stay famous.

[1103] For his whole life.

[1104] Your whole life, people hire you to play one song.

[1105] He was the greatest one hit wonder ever then.

[1106] He's the go.

[1107] Yeah, I can't imagine.

[1108] I can't even imagine anyone who's come close to that.

[1109] Because no one's paying them to sing cult of personality.

[1110] No one's all excited.

[1111] Like you might have one fan who's like worth millions who pays you to come.

[1112] Yeah.

[1113] To his birthday party.

[1114] He treats you like shit.

[1115] I'll give me extra money if I can pee on you.

[1116] Do you remember?

[1117] And then Living Color, the TV show in Living Color came out.

[1118] And then it was like, wait, what?

[1119] How are you doing that?

[1120] There's already a band.

[1121] That's not us.

[1122] The show far eclips the band.

[1123] clips the band and then they were like were you named after the show like how many times like like uh what's the name darius rucker how many times as he said my name is not hooty well hooty is back apparently because dari's rucker went off and did country music and did that for a long time but now he's back the hooty's back on tour are they yeah that was another band that band was that fucking that first record the second record fell up that first record was there was there was I think it was like serious or something, but like they played it.

[1124] And then I went back and played it again.

[1125] It was like, wow, I forgot how good this was.

[1126] That's great.

[1127] Like, that album is.

[1128] But the second one was it good?

[1129] Not as good, I don't think.

[1130] That was one of those albums, though.

[1131] There's something about Hootie where some people despised them.

[1132] And it didn't make any sense to me. It's like, some people just heard those songs too many times.

[1133] It was too big of a hit.

[1134] And they were like, oh, fucking Hootie.

[1135] That does happen, though.

[1136] Like Dave Matthews.

[1137] When, yeah, when something's too much of a hit and you hear it every day, you get tired of the song.

[1138] And then you just don't play that, you know.

[1139] Ever.

[1140] A buddy of mine, actually, Mal Hall, he's going to love this shout out.

[1141] So Mal Hall opens for me, really funny guy.

[1142] And he tours with Angela Johnson.

[1143] He hates happy.

[1144] That song, I'm Happy by Farrell.

[1145] I insist on it being his walk on music whenever we work.

[1146] Because he gets angry.

[1147] Oh, he physically, he has a physical reaction.

[1148] Because how much did we hear that song when it came out?

[1149] It was like drilled it.

[1150] So, yeah, so now he knows.

[1151] Some people, it's good for them to get angry before they go on stage.

[1152] Joey Diaz, whenever I'd work with him, he would just decide.

[1153] He would pick a thing, and it wasn't like we would talk about this.

[1154] But I recognized what he was doing after a while.

[1155] And he'd be backstage, and he would pick a thing and just start getting fucking mad at it.

[1156] And these fucking pussies, this is what they think America is, this is what they think the fucking world is.

[1157] And he would start getting crazy.

[1158] And then, ladies and gentlemen, Joey Diaz, and he would go on stage with that momentum and just murk the place.

[1159] I've had that happen a couple of times where something just got under.

[1160] I remember, and it was one of those, you know, when you do the set, you wish you had recorded it?

[1161] Yes.

[1162] So I was going to the laugh factory.

[1163] It's Saturday night.

[1164] I was on my bike.

[1165] And this guy, like, it's stop and go, right?

[1166] I'm just, and he hit my bike, but it was only at like five miles and now, like, he just tapped me and knocked the bike over, but I'm like, I was bright, like, how did you not see me, right?

[1167] And I just went on stage and I just ranted about, you know, drivers and traffic and this, and it was hilarious and it was like gone, you know.

[1168] Did you record it?

[1169] Gone.

[1170] No, I didn't.

[1171] You never record your sets?

[1172] I do sometimes, but I didn't record that one, and I wish I had, because it was just, you know, sometimes you just get something.

[1173] gets to you right before you go on stage and it's not written you just go into a rant but it's right there but that's why it's so important to record everything yeah i record all of them yeah i have them all my phone it's so easy now yeah now this was before phones this was before we carried a studio in our pocket oh this is a while ago yeah this is when these fucking things these are all sets this is when you had the uh the micro cassette recorders i still have a bunch of those tapes those i used to have them i threw them out yeah i don't even want to hear you hear them.

[1174] I used to have a little tiny mini cassette recorder, a minidisc recorder.

[1175] Yeah, I remember a mini disc, yeah.

[1176] That was when Sony kept trying formats.

[1177] Like, maybe they'll buy this.

[1178] Right.

[1179] Maybe they'll buy, so yeah, we book minidiscs.

[1180] Once they fucked them with Betamax, you sons of bitches.

[1181] Did anyone but comics buy minidisks?

[1182] Like, I set up a mini disc recorder at the comedy store.

[1183] I actually installed one.

[1184] I installed a mini disc recorder at the comedy store so i could record my sets yeah yeah comics we used them i don't know if anyone else did i mean it just didn't work they really never sold music on it so as a format it never really took off but then it was like cdr's right yeah you could record on cdr's yeah all that stuff was like we thought that was the shit it was incredible i can make my own cds right on it with a sharpie that's technology man And it happens so fast.

[1185] Especially in this era.

[1186] Yeah, I mean, think about how long records existed for.

[1187] Yeah.

[1188] Decade after decade after decade, it was just records.

[1189] And then all of a sudden, compact discs.

[1190] And you're like, what?

[1191] Right.

[1192] Because, yeah, because that started, what, around 1990, like, laser discs were first.

[1193] Yeah.

[1194] And then they have movies that were Laserdisc, too?

[1195] I asked my brother.

[1196] My brother's a techie and like an early adopter, so he has all that shit in his garage.

[1197] So, yeah, he's got some movies on 12 -inch laser discs.

[1198] People still collect those.

[1199] Anything that was out there, somebody's buying 8 -tracks somewhere.

[1200] Somebody's in their home right now watching Top Gun on Laserdisc, all excited.

[1201] Yeah, and they invite you over, like, hey, check this out.

[1202] And you're like, I can just hit the remote.

[1203] And instantly plays.

[1204] That's the most incredible thing, is like you could ask Siri to play a song.

[1205] Yeah.

[1206] Like, you know, like, play whole lot of love.

[1207] I can't do that right now.

[1208] Bitch, listen to me. Hey, Siri, play whole lot of love by Led Zeppelin.

[1209] What kind of a world we live in?

[1210] Yeah.

[1211] Well, that's like those commercials.

[1212] And again, getting back to the special, I talk about, like, the arguments between Siri and Alexa.

[1213] Like, that's going to be the next thing.

[1214] Yeah.

[1215] I think Alexa's more of a spy.

[1216] That bitch is sneak She's listening She's listening all the time Lex is listening all the time Siri you have to talk to her Yeah But you hear this We think Yeah we think We think But you don't You know The Privacy's an illusion now Like when people I'm off the grid Like no you're not None of us None of us are off the grid So you know They say like Your Social Security number Yeah Anyone can find it Or your credit card numbers Like anything you do it's out there.

[1217] Well, there was a new, there's a new technology that the government is unleashing that is a weather balloon or a balloon that from 65 ,000 feet, it can watch multiple cars at the same time and track them, 65 ,000 feet in the air.

[1218] Mike, can you even see what the fucks, I mean, you wouldn't even be able to see it up there.

[1219] But that's, you know, that's not that new.

[1220] I mean, you know.

[1221] This is apparently, like, super high -tech.

[1222] No, I mean, just the idea of watching from that high.

[1223] I mean, they've had spy planes and stuff like that.

[1224] They could, you know.

[1225] Wasn't that a movie, eye in the sky?

[1226] Yeah.

[1227] Gene Hackman or something?

[1228] Will Smith, wasn't it?

[1229] With the satellites?

[1230] Yeah, that was a movie.

[1231] Where Gene Hackman would like, like Will Smith made a phone call, and Gene Hackman had to blow up his lab.

[1232] Yeah.

[1233] But, yeah, back when I was in the aerosmith, You know, they had airplanes that would, like, they're flying at 80 ,000 feet, keeping an eye on things.

[1234] Yeah.

[1235] You know, and they had cameras.

[1236] And now it's just so much more prevalent.

[1237] And, yeah, you know, you've got, listen, man, your car, right?

[1238] All the new cars have a black box in them that people don't realize.

[1239] Like, so if you have an accident, they can find out how fast you were going.

[1240] Oh, yeah.

[1241] When you credit, or if you have a warranty thing and they're like, yeah, but you.

[1242] You were racing it at 150 miles an hour, blah, blah, blah.

[1243] Well, not only that, some cars have a box in them where the police can shut your car down.

[1244] Like, say if you're in a high -speed chase and a corvette or something like that, I don't know if it's a corvette, but it's some kind of car like that that's electronically controlled.

[1245] They literally can get your VIN number, plug it into a machine and say, shut it down.

[1246] Yeah, they can do that with OnStar, right?

[1247] If the car is stolen, OnStar just shuts the car off.

[1248] Yeah.

[1249] Have you seen those new plates, those electronic plates?

[1250] Yeah, I know.

[1251] That's weird.

[1252] Well, when you call it in, like say someone stole your car, then the plate changes to stolen.

[1253] Oh, really?

[1254] Yeah.

[1255] I didn't know that.

[1256] Yeah.

[1257] Now, you like it a little more down, don't you?

[1258] Your eyes lit up.

[1259] Well, it's good.

[1260] No, because I was thinking how many, how come people can mess with you like that.

[1261] Like, now, that's, you just open for a practical joke.

[1262] Somebody like, hey, man, let's report his car stolen.

[1263] Yeah.

[1264] Right.

[1265] That's true, too.

[1266] Because who do they know, like, on the phone, they don't know if it's you.

[1267] Right.

[1268] And all you need is the VIN.

[1269] Or something in it.

[1270] Right.

[1271] What do you need?

[1272] Do you need some sort of second party verification?

[1273] Do they send you a text message?

[1274] Reply to this.

[1275] If your car is really stolen?

[1276] I doubt it.

[1277] Yeah.

[1278] Good point.

[1279] Your ex -wife?

[1280] She's probably like, this motherfucker.

[1281] She's calling your car stolen.

[1282] Yeah, she would have all your info, right?

[1283] She's like, yeah.

[1284] Just some bitch every Saturday night.

[1285] Or she knows you're doing something.

[1286] Yeah.

[1287] Do it in a stolen car, you bastard.

[1288] It's just our privacy's so.

[1289] deteriorated from the time we were kids to today.

[1290] Like, it makes you really wonder how far it can keep slipping.

[1291] The only, but the other side of the coin is they don't, like, most people don't care.

[1292] You know what I mean?

[1293] In other words, you're not that important.

[1294] Like, people are, oh, the government's spying on me. Like, well, no, they're not because you're nobody, like, you're not doing anything that they would be interested in.

[1295] Yeah.

[1296] Don't flatter yourself.

[1297] Yeah, exactly.

[1298] What did you do?

[1299] But then there's the other side, like, hey, if you're not.

[1300] not doing anything wrong, you shouldn't worry about the government.

[1301] Hey, they can go look in my email.

[1302] I'm not doing anything wrong.

[1303] That's not the point.

[1304] The point is the government is people.

[1305] Right.

[1306] And people shouldn't have access to your email.

[1307] And who knows, what kind of weird shit they're doing.

[1308] Like, there's, that's one of the things that Edward Snowden and said that the government is like sneaking in on people's emails and looking at people's dick picks and looking at, they can basically look at all of all those things.

[1309] And that's a sliding scale, right?

[1310] Between security and privacy and all of that, that you have to figure out what you're comfortable with.

[1311] And, you know, shameless plug number two.

[1312] My podcast, now I'm part of this new podcast.

[1313] It's called Fear Not.

[1314] Who's on it with you?

[1315] A guy named Barry Glastner.

[1316] And Barry Glastner wrote this book called The Culture of Fear.

[1317] And it was all about how fear is used as business, right?

[1318] They keep you scared so that they could sell you things, whether it be security systems or there's so much involved in it.

[1319] And it's about what we're scared or versus what the real threats are.

[1320] You know what I mean?

[1321] Like, he's like, yeah, they keep you scared of, you know, your kid getting kidnapped in the park.

[1322] Like, your kid ain't going to get kidnapped in the park.

[1323] But what you should be scared of is the number of drunk drivers on the road.

[1324] That's real.

[1325] Yeah.

[1326] And the odds of you getting hit by a drunk driver between like midnight and 2 a .m. When the bar, like, that's a real fear.

[1327] And we talk about it in the context of different things.

[1328] We did the whole anti -vax thing.

[1329] And, you know, so what's, what's, yeah, you're worried about your kid.

[1330] yet in getting something from the vaccination, but the greater good is society is protecting itself against measles or whatever disease, you know.

[1331] So we talk about things like that.

[1332] And yeah, there's always that sliding scale of personal security or whatever versus the government.

[1333] And again, if the government did its job right, you could trust them a lot more.

[1334] Sure.

[1335] You know what I mean?

[1336] Like the government, in other words, this is just my opinion, like taxes, okay?

[1337] A lot of people, I hate paying taxes.

[1338] I don't mind paying taxes because I understand the greater good.

[1339] We need to fix roads and we want to have good public schools and blah, blah, blah, yeah.

[1340] But the problem is that the government gets the money and then they fuck up.

[1341] Yeah.

[1342] So that's why you don't want to pay because you know that this politician is paying his brother who's a contractor to do some bullshit work.

[1343] and stealing all, you know, so that, and, and, you know, what's the solution?

[1344] I don't know.

[1345] I mean, we're all wondering what's the solution.

[1346] I don't think there is a solution on the horizon.

[1347] Did you see what happened with Neil de Grouse Tyson that Neil de Grouse Tyson got in trouble for tweeting something the other day after the mass shootings?

[1348] Right.

[1349] People were pissed at them because it, pull the, pull the tweet up because it's pretty interesting because it's, it's just accurate.

[1350] And people were angry and they're saying he's using his platform irresponsibly and, oh, he was trying to let people know that although these shootings are a tragedy they are a small number of deaths and there's so many other deaths that happened here goes the past 48 hours the USA horrifically lost 34 people to mass shootings on average across 48 hours we also lose 500 to medical errors 300 to the flu 250 to suicide 200 to car accidents 40 to homicides via handgun often our emotions respond more to spectrums than to data.

[1351] Now, that is not a bad tweet, but I saw a scientist who was writing, I am unfollowing him, he is using his platform irresponsibly, a lot of fucking virtue signaling, really, because what he's saying is not that there's anything wrong with, you know, feeling horrified by these tragedies.

[1352] I mean, he's saying we horrifically, horrifically lost 34 people to mass shootings but he's saying it's interesting that there's people dying left and right all throughout this country all day long just not at the hands of one person so we look at it differently and he's just saying he's just giving you data as a scientist and that's that's exactly what it is he's a scientist yes and so a scientist can separate the emotion yeah but people don't find his apology because his apology is even more interesting people will consider a mass shooting much worse than, you know, heart attacks.

[1353] Yeah.

[1354] So listen to this.

[1355] So this is the other thing.

[1356] Yesterday I posted in reaction to the horrific mass shootings in America over the previous 48 hours killing 34 people spawned mixed and highly critical responses.

[1357] If you missed it, I offered a short list of largely preventable causes of death, along with their average two -day death toll in the United States.

[1358] they significantly exceeded the death toll from the two days of mass shootings, including the number of people, 40, who on average die from handgun homicides every two days.

[1359] I then noted that we tend to react emotionally to spectacular incidences of death with the implication that more common causes of death trigger milder responses within us.

[1360] My intent was to offer objectively true information that might help shape conversations and reactions to preventable, ways we die.

[1361] Where I miscalculated was that I genuinely believe that the tweet would be helpful to anyone trying to save lives in America.

[1362] What I learned from the range of reactions is that for many people, some information, my tweet in particular, can be true but unhelpful, especially at a time when many people are either still in shock or trying to heal or both.

[1363] So if you are one of those people, I apologize for not knowing in advance what effect my tweet could have had on you.

[1364] I'm therefore thankful for the candor and depth of critical reactions shared in my Twitter feed.

[1365] As an educator, I personally value knowing with precision and accuracy what reaction, anything that I say or right will instill in my audience.

[1366] And I got this one wrong.

[1367] Respectfully submitted.

[1368] And then it says Neil deGrasse Tyson.

[1369] Now, even that, people are saying not enough, not good enough of response.

[1370] It's almost like today, there's certain people today that they don't give a fuck whether or not you're saying something with sincerity, whether you are sorry.

[1371] They don't, sorry's not enough.

[1372] Like they don't, they just want, they want to be mad at you.

[1373] And even if you're sorry, if you admit you made a mistake, there's no forgiveness, there's no road to redemption.

[1374] There's no, there's no, I get what you were doing.

[1375] I think that it depends on, you know, as far as, is the sorry enough or whatever, It depends on the pattern of the person.

[1376] Now, with Neil deGrasse Tyson, this is what I think happened in here.

[1377] This is my opinion.

[1378] He's a scientist.

[1379] So he gives information.

[1380] So he saw this and said, oh, wait a minute, this many people died from medical mistakes.

[1381] This may be, and people didn't react.

[1382] What he doesn't, where he messed up with the timing.

[1383] Yes.

[1384] You don't say that the day after the mass shooter.

[1385] You say it maybe a week later or something like, hey, you know, people die in a lot of way, blah, blah, blah.

[1386] Now, what he's saying is, I didn't know that.

[1387] I'm a scientist.

[1388] I wasn't aware of the emotional impact.

[1389] Thank you for telling me the emotional impact, and I'm sorry that I hurt people's feelings, which to me is totally legitimate, especially coming from who he is and what I would think the scientific mindset is.

[1390] Now, there are some people that, yeah, exactly what you said, they decided you're a terrible person for saying this, so that apology isn't enough.

[1391] There's nothing he could do.

[1392] But see, there's certain people, right?

[1393] There's nothing you can do that's going to change their mind.

[1394] You know, you look at the Obama birth certificate, right?

[1395] So even when the birth certificate came out, there's a certain percentage of the people that are still like, well, no, that's fake.

[1396] Like, there was no way he was ever going to be American to these people.

[1397] There's a certain, you know, you travel, you know, like I, you know.

[1398] There are certain groups like, you ain't going to get them.

[1399] Right.

[1400] Their minds made up and they're in their bubble.

[1401] They're in their whatever it is.

[1402] And they're surrounded by like -minded people.

[1403] Like you said, like this is the disadvantage of the Internet, right?

[1404] The advantage of the Internet is all of this information.

[1405] The disadvantage is you find people who only think like you and you only talk to them and you build this bubble.

[1406] Well, yeah.

[1407] So there's a group of people, a percentage, I don't know however you want to describe it, that decided the moment he said that, This is an unfeeling, horrible person, blah, blah, blah.

[1408] I mean, I said, you know, my thing with the mass shootings, I'm like, listen, we don't care.

[1409] We say we care individually.

[1410] Like, it's very sad for that family.

[1411] To me, the worst part of a mass shooting is somebody went to Walmart that day.

[1412] They didn't know what's going to be the last day of their life.

[1413] They're never going to see their family again.

[1414] Somebody went out to a club in Ohio.

[1415] They didn't know they'd never come.

[1416] that's the tragic part and that is sad but in the grand scheme of things we don't do anything we don't you know we say it doesn't work before we even try it like there's nothing we do that changes even after Vegas when they said they were going to ban what was it called the bump stop or whatever it was that thing that helped shoot faster and then ultimately they didn't even ban that you know so so as a society we say we care But we don't because we don't change anything.

[1417] You've got to change something.

[1418] Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?

[1419] Well, we're getting way off track here.

[1420] But with Neil deGrasse Tyson, the outrage thing didn't outrage me. No, no, I didn't outrage you either, right?

[1421] No, because he's a scientist.

[1422] What he said is truth.

[1423] And data is true.

[1424] And data is delivered without emotion.

[1425] And why people were upset is because he delivered truth with no emotion.

[1426] Right.

[1427] But he did.

[1428] He said horrifically.

[1429] I mean, he was talking about the tragedy.

[1430] Yeah.

[1431] The thing is that just people are looking to be upset.

[1432] Oh, absolutely.

[1433] Yeah.

[1434] Absolutely.

[1435] People look for for something to be mad about.

[1436] Yeah.

[1437] Or something to be outraged about.

[1438] And that, you know what that takes away from?

[1439] It takes away from real outrage.

[1440] Yes.

[1441] Right.

[1442] Yeah.

[1443] It diminishes it.

[1444] If you're outraged every day, then, you know, then, okay, so what's really outrageous?

[1445] If I'm going to be upset, if I'm going to be upset at a scientist for giving me scientific data.

[1446] a what do I want yeah I guess the timing was the issue the timing was but it wasn't an issue with me I mean I get what he's doing I'm not a moron yeah it's just it's simple he was just giving you all sorts of different horrific deaths that occur all throughout the country and I think on that same weekend there were some unprecedented number of people that were shot and killed in Chicago yeah Chicago's a fucking Chicago's and it's but you know it's a war zone yeah and the thing is, you know, people say, what about the gun laws?

[1447] And it's like, yeah, but all you got to do is go to Indiana.

[1448] Like, you go two hours away and you can get whatever you want.

[1449] Just, you know, that's the thing.

[1450] Just driving a car to a gun show.

[1451] So as a city, Chicago's like, look, we're trying, but we can't, you know, what are we going to set up borders and check every car coming into Illinois?

[1452] God damn.

[1453] And you'd have to go in every house.

[1454] Exactly.

[1455] So you can't you can't do that.

[1456] Yeah, it's, but yeah, his thing I think it was a time.

[1457] And I'm like you.

[1458] That didn't offend me. I get what he was saying.

[1459] It can't offend you.

[1460] If you're a rational human, it can't offend you.

[1461] You know what bothers me when people pretend to be ignorant of something and they're not?

[1462] How so?

[1463] Well, when people, like, for example, with this, like there are some people like, oh, we can use this to create some dislike against Neil DeGess Tyson or whatever.

[1464] It's generally, it's generally politicians do it, right?

[1465] When they say something and they're like, oh, I didn't know that was offensive or wrong.

[1466] It's like, yes, you did.

[1467] But you know your followers didn't.

[1468] You see what I mean?

[1469] Like you can.

[1470] Give me an example.

[1471] I'm trying to think of an example.

[1472] Okay, well, with the mass shootings, right?

[1473] So the whole thing of saying that Trump's tweets had nothing to do with it.

[1474] Yes, they did.

[1475] Now, they didn't directly.

[1476] But, yeah, it did normalize, and this guy used the same language of the, you know, invasion, et cetera.

[1477] So you can't say that it's completely unrelated.

[1478] You know what I mean?

[1479] You can't, you can't.

[1480] And again, it's not saying direct, but you can't pretend there's no connection.

[1481] Right.

[1482] Right.

[1483] And there's a direct connection because it's quotes.

[1484] There are people who are intelligent enough to know that.

[1485] But they'll say no. No, there's no. And it's like, yes, there is.

[1486] And you know there.

[1487] Don't feign ignorance.

[1488] That's what I mean.

[1489] Right.

[1490] But you know the guy in Dayton who really fucked up one was that guy's an Elizabeth Warren supporter who actually wrote about gun control.

[1491] I mean, he was just a horrific homicidal fucking psychopath.

[1492] And listen, you have to have some, there has to be something wrong with you to do that.

[1493] You're like even, you know, regardless of your political beliefs, there has to be something wrong with you.

[1494] but you can be sparked or you can be egged on by the words of leaders or political people or powerful people.

[1495] People of influence.

[1496] Perfect way to put it.

[1497] Yeah, people of influence.

[1498] And that's why I think people of influence have to be responsible in what they say.

[1499] Yeah.

[1500] You know, but this, but Neil deGrasse Tyson, this is a different thing.

[1501] I think this is just a case of a scientist pointing out information without, you know, like, you know, you were talking about earlier, dorks, nerds, whatever you want to say, where it's like, yeah, well, this is just information.

[1502] I'm not trying to be emotional.

[1503] And people are like, well, you have to be.

[1504] You have to connect.

[1505] Even though you're from a lab environment, you have to understand not everyone is.

[1506] But that's one of the more uncomfortable things about today with social media is that there's a bunch of people that are really just, they're just authoritarian.

[1507] They demand certain types of behavior and they do so under the guise of compassion.

[1508] They do so under, like they're trying to enforce the way people communicate, like the Neil DeGrasse Tyson thing.

[1509] There's no indication whatsoever that he was minimizing the deaths, but people are pretending that he's doing so.

[1510] Yeah, there are some people who believe he did, but there are a lot of people pretending to be offended.

[1511] Pretending to be upset.

[1512] They're finding a nice.

[1513] target right yeah i you know there's too many voices alonzo too many words too many people out there spewing again that's the as we spew the positive and the negative of the internet yeah yeah that's the positive and the negative the positive is everyone has a voice the negative is everyone has a voice yeah no there's no and and everyone's like and and the thing is the the middle, the calmest voices, the reasonable voices, are the least heard.

[1514] Of course.

[1515] Yeah.

[1516] Well, that's Facebook, right?

[1517] Facebook's algorithm favors outrage.

[1518] So if you are on Facebook and you get upset about abortion, that's the kind of shit you're going to get in your feet.

[1519] Right.

[1520] If you get mad about climate change, there you go.

[1521] You're going to get a lot of climate change talk.

[1522] Yeah.

[1523] That's going to show up.

[1524] God damn, that makes people nuts.

[1525] Oh, again, and this is living in the bubble.

[1526] don't get to hear the other side, you know, and, and, and, and, and it's not even, it's the reasonable part of the other side, you know, what I mean, like politically, yeah, I'm left.

[1527] I have friends who I call reasonable Republicans, and I could talk to a reasonable Republican, can't talk to a crazy Republican, you know, if you, if you, if you say that the mass shootings are based on transgender marriage, then we can't talk.

[1528] We, we got nothing, I'm sorry, I can't work with you.

[1529] Right.

[1530] But if you say that taxes should be lower to stimulate the economy and blah, blah, blah, yeah, we could talk about that.

[1531] You know what I mean?

[1532] That's the difference.

[1533] And, you know, and just like on the left, look, I believe in the environment, this and that.

[1534] But now if you're asking me to give up gasoline, we may have a problem.

[1535] I may not be ready to go that far just yet.

[1536] Here's my thought.

[1537] If there's too much CO2 in the air, can't we make something to suck CO2 out of the air?

[1538] Why are we waste that?

[1539] I mean, Wouldn't that be better?

[1540] To me, there are certain...

[1541] Air filters, just giant air filters?

[1542] There are certain forms of technology where areas I don't understand.

[1543] This is the one that bugs me. Can we come up with a better way to build a road?

[1544] What's a better way?

[1545] I don't know.

[1546] But that's my point.

[1547] There's some really smart people out there.

[1548] What's wrong with roads?

[1549] It takes forever to do road construction.

[1550] Yeah, well, you can think about what you've got to do.

[1551] Well, that's what I'm saying, though.

[1552] Somebody's got to come up with a better way.

[1553] Like when I, you know, Do we really want more roads?

[1554] Well, fixing them.

[1555] We got to fix them.

[1556] Just fucking lay down some concrete or whatever the fuck it is.

[1557] Like the high speed train thing, right?

[1558] Like, I don't, how long you've been in L .A.?

[1559] Ninety -four I moved here.

[1560] Okay.

[1561] I moved here in 80.

[1562] Damn.

[1563] Yeah, right out of high school I came here.

[1564] Wow.

[1565] So ever since I've been here, and ever since you've been here, they've been talking about a high -speed rail.

[1566] Yes.

[1567] From San Francisco to L .A. to Las Vegas.

[1568] Right?

[1569] Isn't Elon Musk going to do that now, though?

[1570] The hyperloop?

[1571] This is my point.

[1572] Companies like Lockheed, Rockwell, Northrop, these airspace companies have come up with, you know, stealth aircraft, hypersonic aircraft.

[1573] You can't tell me that if you went to Lockheed and said, listen, here's $10 billion.

[1574] We need a train that'll go 200 miles an hour from San Francisco to L .A. to Fade that they couldn't do it.

[1575] They absolutely, you know what I mean?

[1576] They have the scientists and the technology.

[1577] Like, we spend so much money on the wrong shit.

[1578] Like, I get we need defense and this and that.

[1579] But, yeah, let's cut $20 billion to the side to figure out how to move people around more efficiently.

[1580] Because that's what these companies do.

[1581] These are engineering and design companies.

[1582] They come up with shit like this.

[1583] They, you know, so I've always said, why not just do that?

[1584] Why not take some of this brain power and this engineering and development and use science for the masses?

[1585] So now if you had, because if you had that, think about if you could just go to the train station and get to Vegas in two hours or an hour and a half, how many people wouldn't drive if it was that easy.

[1586] You know, flying to Vegas is a pain in the ass, right?

[1587] You've got to go to the airport, and then you got to go, you know, you're doing all, you're spending an hour getting ready for a 40 -minute flight.

[1588] Right.

[1589] But a train is so much easier if it existed.

[1590] Yeah, if it existed.

[1591] Why is it easier than a plane?

[1592] Because you just get on and you go and you can do things on the train.

[1593] You ever like back east from going from D .C. to New York, I found it's easier to do it on a train.

[1594] It's the same amount of time as going to the airport, flying, getting to your destination.

[1595] Because cutting out of the travel to and from security a lot of the time, you just sit in the train and just read or write.

[1596] You got Wi -Fi.

[1597] You got every, you know, it's easy.

[1598] And you go from downtown to downtown.

[1599] That's the other thing about trains.

[1600] They don't go to airports, which are way out there.

[1601] Downtown to downtown.

[1602] Where do you travel by train?

[1603] Like I say, from downtown D .C. to Penn Station.

[1604] You're like an old -timey person.

[1605] No, no, there's an express train.

[1606] I found, no, you know what I found this?

[1607] I found this out from people who do it.

[1608] How long does it take?

[1609] How long does it take?

[1610] How long is it ride?

[1611] Three, three and a half hours.

[1612] Oh, that's not bad.

[1613] Yeah.

[1614] Yeah, if you're definitely, it's better than driving.

[1615] Mm -hmm.

[1616] Yeah.

[1617] And it probably goes just as fast as a car.

[1618] Probably not any faster than it.

[1619] car no fast but if we had a high speed train that could travel at you know 200 miles an hour whatever 180 whatever those bullet trains travel I was just in Italy we took the train over the countryside it was beautiful it was fun not not bad you know you're just sitting down relaxing they come by you know get a die coke it's a different yeah it's a different form of track again not the most efficient but comfortable and why do they disturb me so much though when they crash when those motherfuckers derail there's something about I'm like yeah Yikes.

[1620] Yeah, well, because that's a lot of, it's a lot of energy.

[1621] And there's no seatbelts.

[1622] No. So everybody just goes flying.

[1623] Yeah, you just, you know.

[1624] Why don't they put fucking seatbelts on trains?

[1625] Who's going to wear them?

[1626] I would wear them.

[1627] Some, I guess.

[1628] Why is that funny?

[1629] There's not really an abrupt stop.

[1630] Sure there is.

[1631] If somebody lays a log on the road.

[1632] That's the problem is when someone fucks up.

[1633] Yeah.

[1634] There's a very abrupt stop.

[1635] Right.

[1636] Well, that's true of, you know.

[1637] That's true of your car.

[1638] Yeah, but you wear a seatbelt in your car.

[1639] Yeah, hopefully.

[1640] There's still people who don't, which just blows my mind.

[1641] Well, how about you?

[1642] You're on a motorcycle.

[1643] Yeah.

[1644] No, they talk about how crazy we are.

[1645] I've got an explosive fluid between my legs above a hot engine and my only airbag of my knees.

[1646] It's insane, Joe.

[1647] Going in between cars, too.

[1648] But it's easy to park.

[1649] Yes.

[1650] You don't drive a car at all, right?

[1651] Oh, yeah, I drive.

[1652] You do?

[1653] But, well, you know, when I drive, like yesterday, I was driving.

[1654] driving around.

[1655] What kind of car you got?

[1656] Right now I got a truck.

[1657] I got a Raptor.

[1658] Ooh.

[1659] Big ass fucking killer truck.

[1660] It's fun.

[1661] I'm almost over it.

[1662] Really?

[1663] Yeah, I had about a year.

[1664] And it's like, okay, I'm almost done with this truck thing.

[1665] It's fun to have this big ass truck like this girl was in the truck with me and this car was pulling on.

[1666] And I was like, oh, he ain't going to hit me. It's too much.

[1667] And if he does, I'm not even going to stop.

[1668] Stop.

[1669] I'm going to win.

[1670] Like, he's going to hit my tire and I'm going to run over his hood.

[1671] But, yeah, but, you know, that's just me. I get bored with stuff, right?

[1672] So I drive something for a year, year and a half.

[1673] And I'm like, all right, I'm over it.

[1674] Let's try something else.

[1675] Do you get leases?

[1676] No, no, because leases are harder to get out of.

[1677] Oh, that's true.

[1678] Oh, so you just know how you are.

[1679] I have wasted enough money over the years.

[1680] I have bought my way out of shit.

[1681] You know who?

[1682] My brother used to love it because I would lease something.

[1683] This is what I found out.

[1684] So if you lease something for three years and you want to get rid of that two, they're like, yeah, fine.

[1685] But you still got to pay us for the third year.

[1686] So I would call my brother like, hey, man, you want to drive this thing?

[1687] I got to pay for it anyway.

[1688] And he's like, ship it.

[1689] So you'd ship it to him?

[1690] No, he would pay to ship it.

[1691] I like, like, I can't pay the ship, but yeah.

[1692] And you would just keep paying the bill.

[1693] I had to pay it anyway.

[1694] But do you have to get it back to the recent?

[1695] You could return it there.

[1696] You could return it to any dealership.

[1697] So if you lease, like I had a. a, what was it, the infinity F -45 and something, yeah, so he just returned it to an infinity place there.

[1698] So you realized after a few of these fuck -ups that this is just a personality.

[1699] Yeah, just buy it and then sell it, you know.

[1700] And I hope, like, what I found is I'm not the only one with this disease, like there's a bunch of us out there.

[1701] So I try to buy it from the guy who's just like me. Like, I bought my Raptor.

[1702] It was like five months old.

[1703] It had like 3 ,000 miles.

[1704] So, like, because that guy had the sickness.

[1705] You know what I mean?

[1706] So he was like, man, I got to get rid of this raptor.

[1707] I was like, yeah, okay, I got it.

[1708] Yeah, if you're a single guy and you don't have a good job like you and you don't have real financial obligations.

[1709] Yeah, it's a sickness.

[1710] So you just want to try something different.

[1711] So it's like, okay.

[1712] What's next?

[1713] don't know.

[1714] I don't know.

[1715] You know, I was, I've been looking around and a buddy of mine just went for the new Corvette.

[1716] He just put his money down on that.

[1717] And I was talking.

[1718] And then, then I started looking.

[1719] I was like, whoa, this might be.

[1720] Like, I always had a problem with corvettes because I've driven them.

[1721] They're good.

[1722] They're a little small inside.

[1723] And also there's the baggage of having a Corvette, right?

[1724] Yeah.

[1725] Oh, look, a middle -aged single guy in a Corvette.

[1726] Yep.

[1727] But this new one, I don't think it carries that.

[1728] I don't think it carries a Ferrari.

[1729] I don't think it carries He's a creeper factor, you know?

[1730] Oh, it will.

[1731] The creeper factor will fire.

[1732] It'll fire up eventually.

[1733] I feel like it's definitely the next step in terms of like design and evolution.

[1734] It just looks better.

[1735] Oh, it's a badass car.

[1736] Yeah, I think they got a big hit.

[1737] You know it has a GPS that recognizes where you are and raises the nose up when you're certain speed bumps and shit?

[1738] Speed bumps and stuff.

[1739] It knows where, like, low dryways are.

[1740] Yeah.

[1741] It's crazy.

[1742] Who had that, like, Rolls -Royce had that way to, like, there's a camera that sees bumps and adjust the suspension for the bumps coming up in front of you.

[1743] In milliseconds.

[1744] Yeah.

[1745] The new Corvette is the fastest ever, zero to 60, too, which is amazing because it's 200 -plus horsepower less than the Z -O -6 or the Z -R -1, rather, and it's still way faster, which is crazy.

[1746] Yeah, well, the design is, I mean, no, it's going to be a phenomenal.

[1747] phenomenal car so i don't know i don't want to be an earlier adopter though i don't know if i'd be that but that thing who god damn that looks good in black yeah wow look at that fucking thing that's gonna be you know and they're gonna be all they're gonna be all over la holy shit that thing looks good it's gonna be a badass car that is as good looking as an american car has ever been yeah literally and you know something that's like like the four gt cost what like a half million dollars and that's 60 grand and this is 60 see with the dealer markup, they'll get 70 for them.

[1748] And I bet it's just as fast.

[1749] Yeah.

[1750] I bet it's pretty close.

[1751] And it still has a trunk.

[1752] Yeah, there's a trunk in the front and the back, right?

[1753] That is nasty.

[1754] Yeah, so that might be next.

[1755] Why not, man?

[1756] That might be next.

[1757] Fuck, look at that goddamn thing.

[1758] That is a fucking hell of a good looking car.

[1759] That's going to be a badass monster car.

[1760] And the top comes off.

[1761] Woo!

[1762] That's a beast, man. And that's the entry model.

[1763] I mean, wait until they start pumping out the ZO6 and the ZR1.

[1764] When is that going to happen?

[1765] I think in 2021 or 22, they're always...

[1766] I can't wait.

[1767] I was going to ask, you're going to get one?

[1768] Now that I'm looking at this.

[1769] That's where I was.

[1770] Yeah.

[1771] It's probably hard to get them.

[1772] Yeah, there's a waiting list.

[1773] And, you know, the dealers are going to get a markup.

[1774] Yeah, for sure.

[1775] That thing's nasty.

[1776] Tony Hinchcliff has one, not this one, his last year's one.

[1777] It's fucking amazing.

[1778] They're great cars Yeah They're great cars Well you know who's going to get one Like Leno's going to get Does he get the first one or like which Yeah He's already got him Yeah Have you been in his garage?

[1779] Fuck Yeah I should say garages Yeah It's got a 11 warehouses Yeah It's it's But you know what It's what any Any car nut would do With unlimited cash Yes Yes Right if you had unlimited funds And you're a gearhead And he's truly a gearhead.

[1780] Like, he knows his stuff.

[1781] Like, he doesn't just buy it.

[1782] Like, he actually knows all about it.

[1783] He has fabrication machinery in his studio.

[1784] He's had it.

[1785] Build fenders.

[1786] He's had it for so long.

[1787] That's the thing.

[1788] It's not, like, 3D printing isn't new to him.

[1789] No. I remember he has this jet -powered car and the wheels.

[1790] He was telling me about the wheels, and he said, he showed me, they, the brake dust won't stick to him.

[1791] Like, you know how that, you get that black dusting?

[1792] And he said, yeah, Alcoa sent me the hunk of a loom.

[1793] Like, what?

[1794] They sent him the metal and he made the wheels.

[1795] Like, are you kidding me?

[1796] Like, that's, that's the extent of machining you have that you can just make the wheels for your, it's ridiculous.

[1797] Brilliant.

[1798] He's making wheels.

[1799] That is so preposterous.

[1800] Yeah, his place is a trip, man. I mean, you could wander around it for hours and he loves explaining it.

[1801] everything to you.

[1802] Oh, my favorite was, you know, he'll let you take in a group, right?

[1803] He's really cool about this.

[1804] It's like, you donate money to a charity.

[1805] And then he's like, okay, you can bring in this many people.

[1806] So it's almost like, it's not selling tickets.

[1807] It's helping charity.

[1808] You know, he does it.

[1809] Now, yeah, it was really cool.

[1810] So he had this guy, and the guy passed away.

[1811] I can't remember his name.

[1812] I want to say it was Jimmy something, but, but this was a guy who would give tours.

[1813] so he's walking around and he's like this is this what is it when did we get this one he's like what the hell is this so he's probably always picking shit up right yeah it was a guy I was like where did this come from what is what happens when Jay Leno dies the only thing I can think is they make it a museum yes that's the only thing it's all paid off that's a good move I'm charged tickets I would think I'd pay I would think he probably has something set up to maintain it?

[1814] I hope so.

[1815] Because how are you going to sell those things?

[1816] What do you get, you know what I mean?

[1817] Who the fuck's going to buy that steam car?

[1818] Right.

[1819] One of the steam cars.

[1820] Like there's like a few steam cars.

[1821] Well, he has ones with metal wheels that he actually had rubber installed on the outside of the metal wheel so he could drive around town.

[1822] Yeah.

[1823] And then he has those giant cars that are like 25 feet long, but they only seat two people that there's like two V12 engines in the front of you.

[1824] Yeah.

[1825] Yeah, but it's fantastic, though, you know, and, you know, that I love that.

[1826] And there's a few people like that, but I don't know if anyone who does it on the scale.

[1827] No, no one like that he does.

[1828] I mean, Jerry Seinfeld is, he's got his Porsche.

[1829] He's all Porsche, which is weird.

[1830] Corolla.

[1831] Adam has Paul Newman's old race cars.

[1832] You have been to his spot?

[1833] Yes.

[1834] Yeah, he's got Paul Newman's old Nissan and Dotson race cars.

[1835] And he races them in vintage races.

[1836] Oh, yeah, I've seen that.

[1837] I've seen videos of it.

[1838] Yeah.

[1839] So that's pretty cool.

[1840] Yeah, that is pretty cool.

[1841] You have, what year is your GT3?

[1842] It's 2007.

[1843] Okay.

[1844] That is maybe the greatest car.

[1845] Like the GT3, in the argument for the greatest car made.

[1846] It's a very exciting car to drive.

[1847] It's a thrilling, fun car to drive.

[1848] It's super lightweight.

[1849] And mine's a Shark Works car, so it's got, 518 horsepower.

[1850] There's a place called Speed Vegas.

[1851] It's a track outside of Vegas.

[1852] You go there and you pay, you can drive whatever.

[1853] You know, they have like Ferraris and Lambeaus and stuff.

[1854] So I've been there a few times.

[1855] And the last time I went, they had the new GT3 with the rear wheel steering.

[1856] Oh, yeah.

[1857] And I was like, well, this is God's own sports car.

[1858] It's amazing.

[1859] The handling, you think it and it does it.

[1860] And the whole time you're driving it, the car's laughing at you, like, I'm so much better than you are.

[1861] Mine doesn't have all that electronic nanny shit that the new ones have, but the new ones are quite a bit faster.

[1862] And the new one is the GT3 touring is the shit because it doesn't have all the crazy fins.

[1863] Because most of the time you're not driving it on a track.

[1864] Right.

[1865] He's just driving it around town.

[1866] So you get all the feel of a real GT3, but you don't have, it's more stealth.

[1867] Right.

[1868] It looks almost like a regular 9 -11.

[1869] Yeah.

[1870] they look man they have barely deviated from their style since like the 19 fucking 60s I am such a fan of the 9 -11 it's my favorite car I've had a few 9 -11s of all the cars I've had the one I regret was the 88 turbo I regret getting rid of that I'll always regret having gotten rid of that that car was it was a beast it was a hard -ass car but but when it was going it was like perfect you know yeah and those The cars, they're so hell happy.

[1871] Yeah.

[1872] Oh, yeah.

[1873] Yeah, it was trying to kill you all the time.

[1874] The car was literally like, if you get scared and let off the gas, I'm going to kill you.

[1875] And that boost would kick in.

[1876] You know what I liked about it?

[1877] It was motorcycle fast.

[1878] Yeah.

[1879] It was this crazy motorcycle kind of like just high RPM and then the boost would kick in and the rear end would snap and you'd just be flying.

[1880] Yikes.

[1881] Like, you better be pointed in the right direction.

[1882] Yeah.

[1883] You know.

[1884] Have you driven a Tesla yet?

[1885] Yes.

[1886] You driven the fast one, the P100D?

[1887] No, I haven't driven that one.

[1888] I've driven the, I guess it's the regular P1.

[1889] I drove one with ludicrous mode, though.

[1890] So I did.

[1891] Maybe that is a P100D.

[1892] Did get to experience that.

[1893] So fastest thing I've ever driven in my life.

[1894] Yeah, that's zero to 60 in like 2 .4 or 2 .4, yeah.

[1895] And then the roadster that's going to come out.

[1896] That's 1 .9.

[1897] Yeah.

[1898] You know, that was like when, um, motorcycles went crazy with horse.

[1899] I mean, now their bikes with over 200 horsepower, but when they first came out with, like, the Hayabusa's and stuff like that.

[1900] I had a friend who was a dealer, and he said, you know, you're going to be able to buy the rear half of these.

[1901] Because he said, like, people are just going to over the throttle and crash in the shit.

[1902] He's like, yeah, you can get the clean back half of a Hayabusa or an R1.

[1903] When you sell a kid, a Hayabusa, what percentage of those kids wind up cripple or dead?

[1904] Not a high percentage, honestly.

[1905] One out of a hundred?

[1906] Maybe.

[1907] Maybe.

[1908] But I don't even know if it's that high because...

[1909] Imagine if you told jokes and one out of a hundred people in the crowd's heads exploded.

[1910] Yeah.

[1911] Well, you haven't been to my show.

[1912] I really do that, Joe.

[1913] I get so deep and cerebral, then I throw in a dick joke and boom.

[1914] No, you know, the thing about, yeah, motorcycling is dangerous, but I don't, more people die.

[1915] on Harleys and cruisers.

[1916] You sound like Neil DeGrasse Tyson right now.

[1917] No, I'm going to tell you the reason why is because they're the ones who they only ride once in a while and they go to a bar, right?

[1918] And they hang out in the afternoon drinking and then they get on their Harley and go home.

[1919] They don't wear a helmet and they crash and they die.

[1920] That happens more often than a kid racing around because, you know, he's a kid, he's got quicker reflexes.

[1921] And the real sport back guys are wearing the right protective equipment because it's part of the culture.

[1922] But unfortunately it happens.

[1923] I was just at a motorcycle event last week.

[1924] I was doing a show and they do these rides and one of the guys died during the event.

[1925] And it was really sad.

[1926] But unfortunately, that's part of it.

[1927] But whenever people hit me with that, I'm like, yeah, people die in cars too.

[1928] Like that's the Neil DeGrasse Tyson side of it.

[1929] Yes.

[1930] Yeah, people die in cars too.

[1931] And this is what I choose to do.

[1932] and I've managed a risk.

[1933] We've talked about this, right?

[1934] So, you know, my thing with bikes is, look, if you live through your 20s, you'll be fine.

[1935] Your 20s is when you're stupid.

[1936] When you're wild.

[1937] Yeah, but it would be the same thing.

[1938] Imagine if you had a GT3 and you were 22 years old.

[1939] I had some ridiculously fast cars when I was in my 20s.

[1940] I always spent all my money on fast cars.

[1941] Yeah.

[1942] And, you know, the odds are against you on that too, you know, because you do stupid shit.

[1943] And you also don't know how to handle them, correct.

[1944] You don't know the limitations.

[1945] You don't know how to turn or stop.

[1946] Well, you don't know when to turn or stop.

[1947] And you're like, oh, that was too late.

[1948] Yeah.

[1949] When you feel the tires break and you're still going straight and like, oops.

[1950] Yeah.

[1951] Or you don't know the road you're on.

[1952] Like you've never been on this road before and suddenly, you suddenly learn what decreasing radius means.

[1953] Yes.

[1954] It's just amazing how fast bikes are.

[1955] And now they're making electric bikes.

[1956] that don't have any shifting, which is very interesting to me. Harley has a new bike now.

[1957] Yeah, Harley's got an electric bike to live wire.

[1958] No, I haven't, I've ridden an electric bike, but I haven't riden Harleys.

[1959] They're supposed to be stupid fast.

[1960] They all are.

[1961] It's all just numbers.

[1962] You know, it's just like cars, right?

[1963] Like how many cars now have a top speed of 150, 180?

[1964] Most of them.

[1965] But it's just a number because you're not going to get there, right?

[1966] So it just becomes that.

[1967] even the zero to 60 you know yeah well with the Tesla you could do it because you just step on the gas would step on the accelerator yeah and do it but most cars yeah it can go that quick but you can't because you're not that good a driver right you know so you you and it's the same thing with bikes so bikes can be super quick but you're not skilled enough to do it like we laugh about it all the time that's it right there yeah that's the Harley oh look at that thing what is that crazy shit between your legs is that the batteries yeah wow yeah that's the batteries what kind of what a fucking beautiful bike yeah what kind of um range you think these things have the one i rode had like a 80 mile i have no idea with the harley miles that's not well it can't carry big batteries like right i have no idea with the range 110 mile range yeah interesting City dwelling consumer travels and traffic frequently at 110 mile range is realistic.

[1968] Okay, so cut that down because...

[1969] Yeah, make it 70.

[1970] Yeah, because you're going to be opening it up every chance you get.

[1971] Live miles batteries will recharge from 0 to 80 % in 40 minutes.

[1972] That's pretty good.

[1973] That's amazing.

[1974] Using a stage 3 supercharger connection.

[1975] That's another thing with electric cars and electric bikes.

[1976] They're going to have to standardize this charging.

[1977] Mm -hmm.

[1978] Yeah.

[1979] You know, because it's like, okay, so Tesla.

[1980] uses one charger than like Audi uses a different one now Harley's going to like you're going to have to come up with some one size fits all so that you can just plug your car in and charge it you can't have each company having their own well you have a universal ones at the airport and the airport I plugged my car in at the airport this past weekend yeah and it's the first time I've ever done it I was like ooh I found a spot electric you have just little adapter you put on their universal one.

[1981] Okay.

[1982] And it plugs into the Tesla.

[1983] Okay.

[1984] Charged easy.

[1985] So charged while I was gone.

[1986] I got there full charge.

[1987] That'll work then.

[1988] Yeah.

[1989] Because that's what I was thinking because, you know, because I heard like Porsche's developing a network of charges, which I imagine Porsche and Audi are going to use the same one.

[1990] Yeah, right.

[1991] If you have a Tesla supercharger, can you plug a portion into it?

[1992] I don't think so.

[1993] That's stupid.

[1994] Yeah.

[1995] They're going to have to figure that out.

[1996] Yeah, that's weird.

[1997] Where are they going to be like Apple?

[1998] You know, you can only use a lightning case.

[1999] You can't use USBC.

[2000] I'm an Apple guy.

[2001] But I'm going to tell you where Apple, this is where I drew the line.

[2002] So I got the iPad, right?

[2003] And then I got an iPad mini.

[2004] And then I wanted to get the pencil.

[2005] Do you know there's a separate pencil for the mini iPad, the regular iPad?

[2006] I was like, no. I was like, no. Is it really?

[2007] Yeah.

[2008] Why?

[2009] I was like, are you kids?

[2010] So you want me to spend $99 for each one of these pencils and then figure out which one is which?

[2011] right then i can't what if i accidentally have to run it was it was ridiculous it's like well they do way worse than that there's a website that i follow there's a a youtube channel rather that i follow was a guy who repairs computers and he was talking about how apple goes out of their way to make things so that they can't be repaired from developing proprietary screws that other people don't have a screwdriver for to literally having motherboards where you cannot replace a piece yeah it's not not possible.

[2012] So if this piece goes bad, they have to replace the entire motherboard.

[2013] And he's like, that is so irresponsible.

[2014] Yeah.

[2015] And he's like, the only reason why this exists is because people allow Apple to do it.

[2016] He's like any other company, whether it's IBM or Lenovo or fucking Dell, when you buy a laptop from them, you, there's all these parts.

[2017] You could bring it into a place.

[2018] They can replace this and replace that and here's the chip and here's the that.

[2019] And it's easy.

[2020] But with Apple, they make it so it's difficult.

[2021] Well, they made it, so it's only Apple.

[2022] Yeah, well, third -party people can't repair.

[2023] Right, they don't want anyone messing with it.

[2024] It's fucking gross, man. Yeah.

[2025] It's gross, you know.

[2026] And then the Lightning C, the C cable, the Lightning Bolt thing versus USBC, lightning bolt's not as good.

[2027] It's not as good.

[2028] The bandwidth's not as fast.

[2029] It doesn't transfer data or power as quickly.

[2030] That's another thing.

[2031] The cable thing is something like every time you get a new gadget, you got another cable.

[2032] Yeah, if they just went with USBC.

[2033] USB, let's make everything USBC.

[2034] Every Android phone.

[2035] Every fucking one of them uses USBC.

[2036] Because the fact that you have to carry a different case, and then you're like, does this fit that?

[2037] And then, you know, then, yeah, it's pain in the ass.

[2038] The only thing that Apple has going for it is privacy in terms of phones.

[2039] They are way better with their privacy.

[2040] But because of that privacy and protecting your privacy, that's also why Apple Maps suck.

[2041] Like Apple Maps is not nearly as good as Google Maps.

[2042] Because Google Maps is following you to the bathroom.

[2043] And they're sending all that shit to Cupertino or wherever the hell they are.

[2044] They get all the data, all of it, everything, from ways, from this, from that.

[2045] But that's also why it works so well.

[2046] You know, but their text messages and all the different things is not as secure as I message.

[2047] I message is all scrambled and encrypted.

[2048] Well, and the other thing with Apple is, you know, for someone who's not a techie or whatever, it's the, integration, the seamless integration between the Apple products.

[2049] Oh, including your, if you have, what is it, ITV, what is it, Apple TV?

[2050] If you have Apple TV, you can, like, type shit up in your phone.

[2051] Your phone syncs up to Apple TV.

[2052] Right, your phone syncs to your TV.

[2053] And you use your phone as a keyboard.

[2054] Yeah, it's your remote.

[2055] Yeah.

[2056] And you don't have to know how to do it.

[2057] Like, it says, oh, I'm talking to blah, like, like you put the password in on your phone, then you open up your iPad, and it gets.

[2058] the password from the phone and it's already connected to, you know, whatever network and stuff like that.

[2059] Andrews are getting better at that, though.

[2060] They're getting closer and closer to filling the gap.

[2061] I mean, the new Samsung phones are as good, if not better than anything Apple's ever put out.

[2062] The thing is, are you in the Apple ecosystem?

[2063] That's all it is.

[2064] Which one is your normal?

[2065] Which one is, are you used to it?

[2066] Ian has a hilarious bit about it.

[2067] He has a hilarious bit about being both vegan and Android.

[2068] that it's like the most a person could ever get discriminated against it's fucking hilarious it's really funny you know the other things too that little the little dots like if someone's like if I send you a text message you're replying and you start replying I see the dot dot dot and then it stops yeah it's like what's going on what happened you just you just ghosted me you just blew me off you were gonna reply and you like and you change your mind but like with the green message if it's an android you don't know when it's coming you don't know if the guy got that message Part of me likes that better.

[2069] Like, I don't necessarily want you to know I read your message.

[2070] And it used to give read receipts.

[2071] It sucks when they know you read it.

[2072] Yeah.

[2073] Because now they know you're intentionally not answering me. Yeah.

[2074] Well, that's those little dot, dot, dot.

[2075] Those little dot, dot, dot, dots are ratting you out.

[2076] Yeah.

[2077] That's what Ian says.

[2078] And he's like, I don't need everyone to know that I read your message.

[2079] Man, that dude is so funny.

[2080] He's hilarious.

[2081] I'm so happy he finds.

[2082] Finally has a Comedy Central special.

[2083] Yeah.

[2084] Yeah, you talk about overdue.

[2085] He's so good.

[2086] You know who's next?

[2087] Owen Smith.

[2088] Yeah.

[2089] He's a mother -frey.

[2090] Man, Owen, me and Owen were talking, and we were talking about the business side because he was talking about the whole writers thing about writers, giving up their agents and this and that.

[2091] And he was, he's so smart on it.

[2092] But, yeah, Owen's hilarious.

[2093] He's one of the best comics on the planet Earth.

[2094] People don't know.

[2095] Great writer.

[2096] Yeah.

[2097] And just.

[2098] Great performer, too.

[2099] Yeah.

[2100] he's so funny man I've been working with him a lot lately oh yeah yeah man we do a lot of gigs together especially improv in the store he's as good as anybody yeah definitely and people don't know hey listen the last thing I need is people publicizing another tall black comic Owen Smith who well publicizing you too finally you got an Amazon special no it's great but that is funny that there's a kid named Andre Leclerc out of New York funny guy he did new faces last year and my manager signed him and i was like you know you know it's over when your manager signs a younger better looking version of you like that's the last thing i needed was but he's a funny kid but there's not a good benefit to being good looking in comedy no there is if you want to do sitcoms but they don't really exist anymore if you want to do if you want to get into movies and do like a rom -com thing but sitcoms like that was what montreal was all about yeah Montreal is all about you got a development deal and you did sitcoms.

[2101] Yeah.

[2102] Now you, well, now it's streaming services and movies, it's still, movies are still like a different animal.

[2103] That's a different breed.

[2104] I have zero desire.

[2105] But streaming services and, you know, it's really funny too because people talk about acting.

[2106] Like I get, I'm not an actor and I'm okay with not being an actor.

[2107] I like hosting stuff like and I like unscripted.

[2108] TV and stuff like that but but you know when people like would you want to show well yeah of course I'd want to show I mean it's you know a ton of money and this and that but the actual doing it and creating it like my mind has never worked like that you know what I mean like like some people they love playing characters and stuff like that and all due respect to that but it's not what I did but people are almost like well why don't you and it's like because it's not my thing Headberg used to have a joke about that.

[2109] Yeah, yeah.

[2110] The comedy is the only thing where they ask you to do something else once you do it.

[2111] Right.

[2112] Yeah, if you're a cook, they never ask you.

[2113] Do you farm?

[2114] Yeah.

[2115] You know?

[2116] Yeah, but it was always the way that everybody got famous.

[2117] Right.

[2118] Roseanne and Seinfeld and Tim Allen and all those guys, they got sitcoms based off of stand -up, and then they basically became actors.

[2119] Yeah.

[2120] But you look at the numbers, you know, there's a hell of a lot of comics for every one of them that made it to that you know what i mean like like overwhelming there's you know and um but for some guys that was like the thing that drove them crazy is they never got that call like richard jenny he was yeah you know i remember i saw jenny in montreal and uh at the comedy works murdering god he was funny i mean he was a beast on stage it was a beast people i mean you can see his specials and you kind of get it yeah but if you saw him in real life you'd be like fuck yeah he's the one of the most forgotten geniuses of stand -up comedy he was a brilliant stand -up so good i saw him fuck speaking to which he was talking about a corvette salesman trying to sell him on options on a corvette and he was talking about that in in montreal at at the comedy works i remember sitting in the back of the room and i remember knowing that he was bummed out because he couldn't get a sitcom he had that one platypus man And then he was in the mask.

[2121] And Platypus Man, the HBO special, was one of the great one hours you'll ever see.

[2122] Like, if you can find it, it's one of the great one hours of comedy.

[2123] He was a monster.

[2124] But he was one of those guys that really wanted a special.

[2125] Or, excuse me, really wanted a television show.

[2126] Really wanted a show.

[2127] Wanted to be validated.

[2128] You know who I never understood, never got a show?

[2129] I mean, he's had shows, but didn't have a sitcom.

[2130] Dom, Dom Herrera.

[2131] Oh, yeah.

[2132] Because he's such a natural character.

[2133] Well, he was on a sitcom with Damon for a while, right?

[2134] Yeah, I think for like half a season.

[2135] Mm -hmm.

[2136] And he had the sports show on Comedy Central.

[2137] Right, right, right, right.

[2138] That was funny.

[2139] The football show.

[2140] But it just seems like he's such a natural character just being Dom, like, you know.

[2141] Nobody gives a fuck less than Dom Irara.

[2142] God, that's true.

[2143] Domira, this is what he said to me. He goes, I wish I was gay just so I could come out of the closet.

[2144] That's how little I give a fuck.

[2145] So, say it, I wish I was gay, so I could tell you I'm gay.

[2146] That is fucking hilarious.

[2147] I love watching him.

[2148] I love watching George Wallace.

[2149] Those guys are just masters of the art. Just go on stage and just kill it effortlessly.

[2150] It seems like George Wallace is back in Vegas.

[2151] Yeah, he went back last year.

[2152] Did he do the road for a bit?

[2153] And he's like, ah, no, I think it was one of those.

[2154] I think they made an offer, made him an offer.

[2155] he couldn't refuse.

[2156] I think it was one of those deals.

[2157] Well, he's got that great following in Vegas.

[2158] I mean, he always, it was things that people would go when they were on vacation in Vegas.

[2159] They would go to see George Walls.

[2160] Go to see George.

[2161] Absolutely.

[2162] There was like, Rita Rudner had that.

[2163] Caratop had that.

[2164] There's not a whole lot of residents in Vegas these days.

[2165] Not anymore.

[2166] Not like not on that level where you're aware of it.

[2167] Like, Carrotop will always be there.

[2168] But it's a tricky one because if you commit to that, you give up all that the road momentum.

[2169] Yeah, well, you've got to be able to market it.

[2170] I mean, that's where George was brilliant.

[2171] George figured out just what you said for people to go home and tell their friends.

[2172] Hey, when you go to Vegas, you got to see George Brownson.

[2173] Right, right.

[2174] Like, he figured that out.

[2175] I don't think it translates on the road anymore.

[2176] No, no, you got to, I mean, again, you have to figure out how to build that.

[2177] And it takes time to build.

[2178] It doesn't build right away.

[2179] Right.

[2180] So you've got to be working with a place or working with a producer or somebody who's like, yeah, we're going to spend a year building you as a destination show.

[2181] And you have to be willing to live in Vegas.

[2182] Yeah.

[2183] Because there's something about that.

[2184] It's like you're almost just in some weird purgatory.

[2185] If you can handle it, it's okay.

[2186] But if you got a vice, if you have any vice, Vegas is going to find it and destroy you with it.

[2187] Whether it's gambling or pussy or...

[2188] I just worked with Mao.

[2189] Mal had this great joke over Vegas.

[2190] He said, Vegas.

[2191] It's the only city you can watch someone become homeless.

[2192] Yeah, you can watch them at the table.

[2193] Yeah, you just watch them.

[2194] Yeah, like your whole life is falling apart right now.

[2195] Yeah, I know, but this next role is going to be.

[2196] They will let you mortgage your fucking house.

[2197] Absolutely.

[2198] They're like, yeah, go ahead.

[2199] What do you want to do on the roll of a dice or hand of cards?

[2200] What do you want to do?

[2201] Vegas is the only gig where they will pay you in advance.

[2202] Yes.

[2203] Pay you the first night.

[2204] Yeah.

[2205] Go ahead.

[2206] Here's some money.

[2207] Want it?

[2208] He'll be here tomorrow.

[2209] Thanks.

[2210] You know what's fucked up, though?

[2211] If you win too much, they stop you from coming back.

[2212] Like Dana White from the UFC.

[2213] Yeah.

[2214] He gets banned because he's really good at Blackjack.

[2215] So he'll win like a million dollars in a night.

[2216] And they ban him from casino.

[2217] Because they know who he is.

[2218] But they ban him because he's winning.

[2219] Like, what is this fucking, what you only play if you win, you piece of shit?

[2220] It's their game.

[2221] But that's ridiculous.

[2222] Their house.

[2223] But that's a ridiculous rule.

[2224] I know.

[2225] They should have to go under.

[2226] But they all, you know, it's like their rules.

[2227] and they're all in it together.

[2228] But that seems like rejecting service, you know?

[2229] I mean, it just seems like they shouldn't be able to do that.

[2230] And what's a sign you always see?

[2231] We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

[2232] Yeah.

[2233] Where do you work when you do Vegas?

[2234] I do Brad Garrets at the MGM.

[2235] That's a great spot.

[2236] I love that room.

[2237] And I just did Kimmel's new club.

[2238] I heard that's a great spot too.

[2239] How is it?

[2240] Is that the Rio?

[2241] No, it's at the Link.

[2242] It's that where that big Ferris wheel is.

[2243] they open like that midway strip it's on there doesn't someone have something at the Rio too is not a new one yeah the seller oh that's at the Rio yeah the cellars at the Rio I heard that's great too I heard that's great too yeah Vegas has like they have the laugh factory now it's it's comedies made it like part of why when George left he said one of the things was like for a long time there weren't that many comedy shows he said then suddenly every place had a comedy show so that cuts into ticket sales That makes sense The Mirage is the shit That's my favorite spot I fucking love that room I used to do bigger rooms And even if I would sell out The bigger room I'd be like The fucking Mirage Yeah It's so good So now I just do the Mirage I'm there all the time From where I'm standing It's quality situation show It's the best room man It's like you and I was watching One time Joey Diaz was on stage And I was in the back of the room And in the back of the room It was Christi crystal clear sound.

[2244] That works for comedy rooms, right?

[2245] It's the perfect.

[2246] You've got to be able to hear him and see them.

[2247] You know, somebody, I forget who it was, but this, it was a musician.

[2248] He said, the best room is when you can see everyone's eyes.

[2249] Because he had done like big rock concerts and all that.

[2250] And he was like, yeah, if you can see everyone's eyes, you got a good room.

[2251] That's the ice house.

[2252] Or like you said, comedy works, places like that where you can.

[2253] you can actually connect with everybody in there.

[2254] The ice house is tough to fuck with.

[2255] That might be the best ever created room.

[2256] We used to say if you bomb, you should be allowed to go to the ice house the next day just to get your confidence back, right?

[2257] Just because like, oh man, I don't know if I could do it, man. Go to the ice house.

[2258] You could do it.

[2259] And then you walk out like, yeah, I can do this.

[2260] Do you know there's agents that won't accept tapes from the ice house because it's just too easy a room?

[2261] Yeah, because you do great.

[2262] Yeah, definitely.

[2263] Definitely.

[2264] The ice house is great.

[2265] Comedy magic is...

[2266] Pretty goddamn good.

[2267] Comedy magic is like...

[2268] And you know, Mike and Richard, they're so nice to you.

[2269] Too nice.

[2270] It's just like...

[2271] Confusing.

[2272] What are you planning?

[2273] Because now you've ruined people for anywhere else.

[2274] And their food.

[2275] Oh.

[2276] They'll serve you a steak that you could get at a fucking steakhouse.

[2277] I had broken my wrist, right?

[2278] And now I was living in Studio City, and this is in Hermosa Beach.

[2279] So to your listeners, that's 30 miles apart in L .A. traffic hour and a half, hour at least, right?

[2280] Mike was like, you know, if you want, we can send a server to bring food to your house.

[2281] Like, if you can't, like, Mike, I live and see, he's like, yeah, I know.

[2282] And he would have done it, you know, it's like, are you kidding me?

[2283] Like, when I got kicked out of the comedy store in 2007, he reached out to my agent and said, we would love if Joe could work at the comedy magic club.

[2284] We support him.

[2285] We would never hire joke thieves.

[2286] And, you know, when we know that this is going down with him, we would love for him to come here.

[2287] Like, he's that nice of a guy.

[2288] Yeah, he's a, he's a super nice guy.

[2289] And Richard, the manager, Richard still goes places to see comics to see if they, you know, good for the club.

[2290] Yeah, that's.

[2291] Like, nobody does that anymore.

[2292] Like, you, you've got videos.

[2293] It trickles down from the top, you know, that love and respect of the comedians and the, Just to be treating performers well.

[2294] And that's why all the old pros still work there.

[2295] You know, that's why, you know, Ray Romano and all that.

[2296] Like, they still go there.

[2297] Lennos still there every Sunday because it's like, yeah.

[2298] He still goes every Sunday.

[2299] Every Sunday.

[2300] That is crazy because I know he's kind of stopped for a while when he was not doing the tonight show anymore.

[2301] Yeah, he took a break, but yeah, he's still pretty regular there on Sundays.

[2302] I haven't seen him on stage do stand up ever.

[2303] I have.

[2304] I've only seen him on television.

[2305] As a matter of fact, we did a benefit together last year, and it was fun watching him work, like, as the comic, you know, because he was doing, he was doing bits and all that, but he'll still tell a joke, but like he's a really good joke teller.

[2306] So he'll tell just a regular joke, but it's hilarious because it's so good.

[2307] And in Montreal, I just did a gala, and Howie Mandel hosted, and it was so much fun watching Howie be a comic again.

[2308] Like, how he was doing, he was cracking on the crowd, like, during the commercials, like, you know, during the breaks, he was just being, and I was like, man, it's, you could see that he was having fun being a comic, not being a TV guy, not being the AGT guy, just, yeah, I'm just being a stand -up comic.

[2309] Look, that AGT gig is a great gig.

[2310] I'm sure he gets paid a lot of money.

[2311] But if you go back and listen to Howie Mandel in the 80s and the 90s when he was just doing stand -up, he was fucking brilliant, man. Yeah.

[2312] He was brilliant.

[2313] A lot of those guys.

[2314] and women and those comics people don't realize how great a comic they had to be to get that job Right They're like he just does that It's like yeah Arsenio is like that Like I've seen people Who see Arsenio do stand up And it's like Well yeah there was a reason He got the show They didn't just say Hey man that's a funny name Like Arsenio's a beast When he does stand up Jay Leno is one of the weirdest cases Right because he doesn't have a body of work Well because he never recorded it he said he would never record it because then you sell it then you can't do it anymore yeah and it said so he would just but yet he wrote jokes every week for the tonight show like right right hey jay put your shit out there buddy i mean people don't know but then again you know what did he lose you know what i mean it's like he certainly didn't need the money i don't think jays ever like man i should have sold merch you know but it's a amount of people knowing how good he is i would think yeah I guess he's comfortable where he's at, you know.

[2315] And people do, well, and also, you know, if you do go see him live, that is great that you get to see him and you get to enjoy it.

[2316] Nobody wears a jean shirt unless they're comfortable.

[2317] You got to be.

[2318] You have to be.

[2319] Wear it every day.

[2320] There's no goddamn.

[2321] You got a uniform.

[2322] Yeah, he does have kind of a uniform.

[2323] Listen, Alonzo, I got to wrap this up.

[2324] All right.

[2325] You got an Amazon special.

[2326] It's out.

[2327] What's the day it's out?

[2328] August 23rd.

[2329] So heavy lightweight.

[2330] Today's the sixth.

[2331] Let me know.

[2332] We'll tweet it.

[2333] We'll let everybody know.

[2334] And heavy lightweight on Amazon Prime.

[2335] Amazon Prime.

[2336] Stream it on your phone.

[2337] You can get it on everything.

[2338] You get it on the Amazon app.

[2339] You know something?

[2340] You go to Whole Foods and just watch it.

[2341] Really?

[2342] No, I'm kidding.

[2343] But what the hell?

[2344] He owns it, right?

[2345] Yeah, he owns it.

[2346] All right.

[2347] No. Well, thanks for coming in, brother.

[2348] I appreciate it.

[2349] Man, thank you, Joe.

[2350] Fear not, the new podcast.

[2351] That's out there, too.

[2352] Man, I love you.

[2353] Honestly.

[2354] I love you, too.

[2355] This is so great.

[2356] Thank you.

[2357] And again, thanks for the love you give me even when I'm not here.

[2358] Anytime, man. You know I love you.

[2359] And we're working tonight.

[2360] Yes.

[2361] Yeah, improv tonight.