Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] My name is Billy Ilish, and I feel really excited about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.
[1] Hi, my name is Phineas, and I feel dubious about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.
[2] Okay, Phineas, we've run out of time for you.
[3] Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens, I can I can tell that we are going to be friends.
[4] Can tell that we are going to be friends.
[5] Hey, Conan O 'Brien here.
[6] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.
[7] I think my voice becomes more and more professional with every outing.
[8] I'm taking a lot of pills to...
[9] Voice pills?
[10] Well...
[11] Professional pills?
[12] Pure testosterone.
[13] What?
[14] Try and get me into a lower register.
[15] Oh.
[16] That smooth jazz register.
[17] Matt, good to see you.
[18] Good to see you.
[19] Sona.
[20] to see you as well.
[21] How about ditto?
[22] Does your generation ever say ditto or is it always same?
[23] No. Because my son says same.
[24] He goes, same.
[25] Does he say same zes?
[26] No, he doesn't do that.
[27] He's like a normal kid.
[28] You think he's holding a giant lollipop and dressed as a sailor in short pants?
[29] Same zies!
[30] Oh, oh, oh, oh.
[31] No, I don't say ditto.
[32] No. I don't.
[33] Do you?
[34] You, I've never heard you say ditto.
[35] I used to say ditto daddy -o back in.
[36] the 50s.
[37] But that was a long time ago.
[38] You know, I don't want to blither and blather today because I think this is kind of an important podcast.
[39] This episode or this podcast in general?
[40] It's a whole podcast.
[41] I just think it's an important part of American history.
[42] Oh, boy.
[43] You couldn't even finish the sentence.
[44] Couldn't do it.
[45] I tried.
[46] No, I'm excited about this episode because today is a conversation with Billy Eilish and her brother, Phineas.
[47] I love their work.
[48] I really do.
[49] I think they're very talented.
[50] And I was very excited because I don't think they do a lot of stuff that they were going to come into the studio and talk to us.
[51] And it was a fun, it was a really fun conversation.
[52] It was so fun and they're really cool.
[53] And, you know, they came with, like, their parents who were also really cool.
[54] Yes.
[55] But it made me want to, like, I really wanted them to think I was cool.
[56] I could tell that you were a little self -conscious.
[57] I was.
[58] I think I'm saved from that because I know, first of all, I'm old enough to be their father, if not their grandfather.
[59] Okay.
[60] So that took away, that takes away some of the pressure.
[61] There's no effort for me to try and be cool with Billy Eilish and Phineas.
[62] I don't feel that pressure at all.
[63] Is that true?
[64] I don't.
[65] I don't think so.
[66] Well, I wouldn't know because I was relegated back in the nosebleed seats there in the shadows.
[67] So you guys could have.
[68] And your mic was turned out in our ear.
[69] I barely hear you.
[70] That was Conan's request.
[71] Oh, really?
[72] Also, that's my normal seat.
[73] You're just arriving where I usually sit.
[74] Rise up.
[75] Rise up.
[76] Yeah.
[77] I don't think it's right either.
[78] Well, here's what happened, because there's two main chairs and two microphones.
[79] Usually, if there's one guest, the guest sits there, and then you sit in your seat.
[80] But because it was Billy, I wish and Phineas, there was no choice but to place you in a Ralph supermarket several blocks away.
[81] I'm seeing another mic stand right here.
[82] I know we've got extra mics.
[83] I'm just wondering.
[84] We couldn't have you creeping up in between Billy I was.
[85] Yeah.
[86] And if not, sandwiched in the same chair at least.
[87] Okay, no, Creepo.
[88] And I'll take either of them.
[89] Absolutely not.
[90] You wouldn't have had room.
[91] She got really comfortable at one part.
[92] And then as she was getting comfortable, I was too.
[93] This is what I was going to say about Billy Elish's star power.
[94] So she's sitting in the chair you're in now, Matt.
[95] And she, as you both saw, almost immediately she got so comfortable she started to and no other guest has done this she started to slide down the chair and she just kept sliding down the chair until I was basically just looking at Billy Elish's head resting on the chair her body completely disappeared and Phineas got very comfortable and then at one point out of the corner of my eye I look over and I see Sona and you were mirroring Billy Eilish you were way down as if you were on a transcontinental flight in first class.
[96] You reclined all the way.
[97] You ordered some warm cashews and a Pino Noir.
[98] And you put on an eye mask.
[99] You were so chill.
[100] And I was sitting on a milk bucket in the shadows.
[101] I think that if I did what she did, I would be cool like her.
[102] I think that's what I was doing.
[103] But the reason she's Billy Elish is that she's not thinking about any of it.
[104] She just is.
[105] Well, also she's 21 and I'm fully.
[106] 40.
[107] That may that may help.
[108] I also, I think this episode sets the record for the most times I've been called dude in one conversation.
[109] They're very Californian.
[110] I don't know about you, but I wanted to be like, hey, man, I'm from California too, bro.
[111] Hey, dude.
[112] Hey, dude.
[113] I was going to be like you.
[114] So did I get it?
[115] That's why you were on the milk bucket.
[116] What?
[117] I understand that.
[118] Yeah.
[119] I think you should have gone a bit farther.
[120] Yeah.
[121] Maybe the other road better better.
[122] Hello.
[123] Hello, dudes.
[124] I live in Pasadena.
[125] And I am most dougalor as well.
[126] Why, my dudes, what's spanking?
[127] What's spanking, my chili willies?
[128] Hey, guys, cool.
[129] Want to come to the Rose Bowl swap meat with me?
[130] And we could find some Bakelate tea mugs.
[131] Hey, I'm going up to Fuckman's Leap to have some cordials later.
[132] Want to come?
[133] What was that?
[134] You lost me completely.
[135] I don't know what you're talking about.
[136] Everybody got lost with that.
[137] Well, it'll come out.
[138] No, please leave it.
[139] Yeah, I think you had a stroke.
[140] What's fuckman's leave?
[141] I don't know, it just came out.
[142] Wait, so you don't even, that's not even a real thing?
[143] I don't know what it is.
[144] Who improvises fuckman's leap?
[145] That's insane.
[146] That is not coming out.
[147] That is a pure moment of insanity.
[148] It's come out of my mouth before, but I don't know what it is.
[149] Fuckman.
[150] Hey, dudes, we were on a riff about you being square in front of Billy Eilish, and then your attempt to be a, quote, square guy is to say we're all going up to Fuckman's Leap, which for the record is the coolest sounding place I've ever heard in my life.
[151] And boom, that shows that I've got it.
[152] I want to die on Fuckman's Leap.
[153] Donald O 'Brien committed suicide today.
[154] He jumped off Fuckman's Leap.
[155] his wife could not be reached for comment because she was too busy laughing this is the problem we're doing a whole day of segment and intro recordings and there's no celebrity in here today I mean no offense and it just feels too like groovy you know we're too jazzy right now I'm too comfortable I think it's great if it brought us fuckman's leave I say more of this you're jazzy and groovy anyway you're so cool you're so with it Let's get to it because this was an exciting one.
[156] My guest today are Grammy award -winning singer -songwriters.
[157] They have won, like, between them, I think, 155 Grammys.
[158] It's ridiculous.
[159] And they have taken the music industry by storm with their albums.
[160] When We Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go, and happier than ever.
[161] They are currently on their world tour and just delighted that they could join us.
[162] Billy Eilish and Phineas, welcome.
[163] I am thrilled that you guys are here.
[164] Thanks for having us.
[165] Yeah, and I'll tell you my story with you guys was, as you can tell, I'm a very old man, fought in the Civil War, on the good side.
[166] But my daughter, Nev, came to me a bunch of years ago, and she saw you guys at a small venue, and she walked away.
[167] I mean, her life was changed.
[168] Wow, that's amazing.
[169] Yeah, just great.
[170] And so she was talking about you guys.
[171] And I was like, enough.
[172] All the good music was written in the 70s.
[173] There's no more to be done.
[174] After air supply, it was over.
[175] And but then I had this great experience where she said, I want you to take me to Coachella.
[176] And I took her to Coachella and watched you guys.
[177] And it was a fantastic experience.
[178] I had never been to Coachella before.
[179] Was that the one like in 2019?
[180] Or was this last year?
[181] No, this was last year.
[182] This was last April.
[183] Yeah.
[184] love that.
[185] Why?
[186] Because the 2019 one, it's horrible.
[187] It wasn't horrible.
[188] It was bad, but, Phineas, tell her it wasn't bad.
[189] It was terrible.
[190] It was not.
[191] Phineas thought so too.
[192] Well, we, you know, the, the fable of Coachella, and it was true this year, it's true every year for everyone, it's just that it's a technical cluster fuck.
[193] So we had, you know, this show that everyone in your life, I don't know what the equivalents are necessarily outside of music, but it's, Coachella is like the thing that everybody puts all weight and stock in your entire career on.
[194] Yes.
[195] And they're like, better be perfect.
[196] And invariably, it's like a disaster.
[197] And everybody's is.
[198] So I don't know why they act like yours won't be.
[199] So the first time we were on.
[200] I remember because I saw the documentary, you guys had, I guess, a technical glitch.
[201] Oh, my God.
[202] The screen went out.
[203] Yeah.
[204] But you just roll with it.
[205] And you fell at one point.
[206] I sure did.
[207] Which proves one of the things I learned in comedy a long time ago, which is mistakes are great.
[208] It's true.
[209] I hope you didn't get hurt.
[210] No, no, no, it's true.
[211] Oh, so you, you fell weekend two, yeah?
[212] I fell weekend two, yeah.
[213] That was our favorite.
[214] If you were at weekend, too, I love that.
[215] Two thumbs up.
[216] I don't know if you remember I got on stage.
[217] Remember I had glow sticks?
[218] I was doing like a robot thing, and then you guys called security, and I was beaten.
[219] Is any of this coming to you?
[220] Vaguely.
[221] I did that be vaguely.
[222] I did not jump on stage, but it was amazing to not just watch your performance, but watch all these huge stars around.
[223] The, you know, close to the stage, you know, like Harry Stiles is there watching.
[224] It's just so cool.
[225] Yeah, it's very cool.
[226] And it's, I mean, you guys have had such a journey in such a short time.
[227] This is something I've had in my life, which I always had hard time processing when I got to meet people I idolized when I was a kid.
[228] And then suddenly they're sitting next to me and they're on my show.
[229] What I do is I can't take it in in the moment.
[230] I just say, I'll file that away for later.
[231] and I don't really deal with it.
[232] But you've both had the experience of meeting people that you love and they come up to you and they hug you guys and say, we love you, we love what you're doing.
[233] Are you able to process that in the moment?
[234] No way.
[235] I mean, you can't.
[236] I mean, I've been saying this for like a long time.
[237] Even about fans and love, you can't actually process love like that.
[238] Like it's just not really, from people, specifically fans and people in the world that you don't.
[239] actually know that don't know you, like actually intimately.
[240] It's just a kind of attention that you can't actually process.
[241] And it's really interesting because I was that fan for like many people I looked up to as a kid.
[242] And like I was the big fan that felt so much love for the artist or the whoever it was.
[243] And then becoming that and like switching sides, it's devastating that I can never fully accept the love that the fans give me, the ones that have the love that they give me. And it's kind of the same when you meet people that you look up to.
[244] If they give you love, it's just you can't even process it.
[245] Here's what I found is that when I revere somebody, when I love somebody, and I'm looking up at them, it makes sense.
[246] Anybody tries to pay me in any kind of way a similar compliment.
[247] I know.
[248] I think, what is this bullshit?
[249] You know?
[250] Yeah.
[251] That's, no, it's me. Honestly, tell me if you have this same thing.
[252] I almost lose respect a little bit for them because I'm like, and specifically if they're like, oh, I love your song, blank.
[253] And I'm like, that's not a very good song.
[254] I really, I experience this a lot in my life.
[255] People, I'm like, their opinion is so important to me and they're so, I just think they're really smart and talented and look up to them.
[256] And then they say, I loved this blank thing you did.
[257] And I just am like, ooh, I don't know, I don't know about you now.
[258] Oh, no. Can you let us know which songs we should compliment you on?
[259] That's actually good.
[260] I should write them down.
[261] You should have your team send ahead.
[262] These are the things she's proud of.
[263] Yeah, yeah.
[264] And here are the songs not to mention.
[265] Your experimental song, Quack Quack, Quack, went the fog.
[266] Which I loved, by the way.
[267] You guys really took a swing on that one.
[268] I think to be fair, that we have a larger, maybe not than anyone, but we make our music with so little input from other people that we like a higher percentage of it than a lot of people I know.
[269] That's true.
[270] The amount of artists that I talk to and go, what's the process of that?
[271] And they're like, oh, I hate that album.
[272] Yeah, I would say we're not like that.
[273] We're really not like that.
[274] Yeah, I feel like I've watched some people's interviews and they talk about their albums and they're like, oh, I can't even stand.
[275] I can't even listen to myself.
[276] And that's very much not how we are.
[277] We listen to our music a lot.
[278] I just think about me at 14.
[279] a, you know, some stupid music video I made and somebody complimenting that.
[280] It's mostly things I've said in interviews.
[281] Yeah, mostly.
[282] Yeah, we're going to try and get a couple of those two.
[283] Yeah, yeah.
[284] I'm sure you will.
[285] I'm never going to play them on a loop.
[286] Get them out there.
[287] I watched your process.
[288] The world's a little blurry.
[289] I really love that documentary because it's about the process.
[290] And I love anything that shows both sides of fame, success, in a realistic lens.
[291] And what I, you know, first of all, the gap between, the journey between you two in a bedroom, you put a blanket over your head sometimes.
[292] I know.
[293] Bickering, you prodding, having arguments, you know, arguing with your mom in the kitchen.
[294] And man, are you intimidating?
[295] I know.
[296] When you're, Billy, when you're mad, I have, you know, a teenage daughter.
[297] I get terrified.
[298] So when I'm watching the documentary, it's as scary to me as any horror movie.
[299] because you'll just shoot those eyes at someone and you're not even trying.
[300] You're just staring at them and if I were your mom, I would jump out the window.
[301] I know.
[302] 16 -year -old me is a scary thought.
[303] It's a scary sight to see.
[304] I mean, I think about myself and think about the people that I used to have to make them be put through being around me at that age.
[305] And I feel very, I can't even, it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about if I had to be, around the younger Billy.
[306] It really freaks me out sometimes.
[307] Scary girl.
[308] What about you?
[309] I mean, Phineas, you seem, and this is, again, this is just from the documentary and performances, you seem like someone who doesn't lose his shit, but do you sometimes?
[310] Oh, my God.
[311] Oh, yeah.
[312] Finnees is an incredible actor.
[313] I didn't know.
[314] Incredible.
[315] So, I mean, are we talking about, like, backstage, are you kicking stuff?
[316] Are you smashing things?
[317] Should we tell stories?
[318] Yeah, I think that's what we're here to do.
[319] I was, as a little kid, as like a five -year -old, six -year -old, I'm told that I was very explosive.
[320] And I have an infinite supply of rage.
[321] Yeah.
[322] But I...
[323] What an explanation.
[324] But I don't think anyone should be on the receiving end of it.
[325] So I try to just, you know, quell it.
[326] I try to go empathy first.
[327] But there's always rage below.
[328] My friend, my friend Ricky always reminds me that at one point he said, he said, do you have a lot of rage, which is a testament to like being around me too much, maybe to see me sort of at the guitar center staring off in the middle distance.
[329] And he said, do you have a lot of rage?
[330] And I said, are you joking?
[331] That is all I have.
[332] But I don't, yeah, but I don't, I don't, yeah, I don't, yeah, I don't feel like I'm like, I don't scream at anybody.
[333] True or false.
[334] Yeah.
[335] Yeah.
[336] Yeah, I would agree.
[337] I would agree.
[338] I would agree.
[339] I would.
[340] I agree.
[341] My team will disagree.
[342] I have no anger issues.
[343] Are you an asshole?
[344] You're a total assort.
[345] You know what I am?
[346] Passive aggressive.
[347] No, are you, are you an asshole?
[348] I don't think I'm in.
[349] Well, you guys can back me up.
[350] I am not an asshole.
[351] I don't think.
[352] His mortgage is paid by.
[353] I know.
[354] I remember.
[355] Before you answer.
[356] Yeah.
[357] Your checks don't come out till Monday.
[358] I saw a full panel of people.
[359] No. You're not an asshole.
[360] No. Can we meet you behind the building later and tell you.
[361] I think I've worked for him longer than anybody.
[362] And I will say he's not an asshole, but he has made an art form of being passive -aggressive.
[363] Because the way I grew up, the way I relate to Phineas, because I have a lot of anger, I have a temper, and I used to really get angry when I had a bad temper when I was a kid.
[364] And what I did is I learned, I grew up in a family, very unlike yours, where we weren't supposed to express negative things.
[365] Catholic.
[366] We're not supposed to express, and no one was around saying, well, how do you feel about what just happened?
[367] There's none of that.
[368] So there was nobody expressing any of that.
[369] So what happened was there's a lot of pent -up anger.
[370] And what I learned is you could express anger in this, I could let it out like a teapot.
[371] There's a little hole that it's coming out, but it's shooting out at great force and it's passive aggression.
[372] It's me saying, oh, well, that sounds like a wonderful idea.
[373] And people are like, fuck.
[374] And I mastered this thing of being able to, to talk to somebody for a bit who I was really mad at and we had had a pleasant conversation and then I'd leave and they'd think I think we had a pleasant conversation oh my God, I'm bleeding.
[375] He stabbed me with words nine times but I didn't feel it so it's an issue, yeah, it's an issue that I have to work on.
[376] But I don't think you can have creativity without some internal age.
[377] You have to have.
[378] I think that's one of the things that has been.
[379] Do you have to be a little tortured?
[380] That's what I think.
[381] Yeah.
[382] There's some great quote, and I'm misquoting it, but it was like a lot of the world's great work has been done by people who didn't feel quite well.
[383] You know, it's like, it's true.
[384] I think the caveat there is that it's this slog and it's this challenge, and then sometimes it's effortless for two hours.
[385] Do you know, does that?
[386] Yes.
[387] Yes.
[388] So like we had that yesterday.
[389] We've been slogging through writing for months.
[390] And yesterday, we had a couple hours where it was, the faucet was on.
[391] It was really easy.
[392] Yeah.
[393] But mostly it's not.
[394] Yeah.
[395] I feel bad that I interrupted your great creative flow and you had to come here and do the podcast.
[396] That was yesterday.
[397] Yeah.
[398] What if it was going really great?
[399] And they said, You got to do that Conan podcast.
[400] We'd do it.
[401] Thank you.
[402] Yeah.
[403] Thank you very much.
[404] Well, they have to say that.
[405] Now, they're here.
[406] Yeah.
[407] You know, but then their fans would be like, what did we miss out on?
[408] By the way, have you played other giant?
[409] Have you played Boneroo?
[410] Uh -huh.
[411] We've done all of them.
[412] You've done all of them.
[413] Pretty much, yeah.
[414] Sony, you were with me when I did Bonaroo.
[415] Yeah.
[416] Oh, because they have.
[417] they make years ago.
[418] Yeah, yeah.
[419] And it was.
[420] What the hell?
[421] Trench War, it was like trench warfare.
[422] It's all mud.
[423] It takes place in the summer in Tennessee.
[424] You're in a tent.
[425] You're in a tent.
[426] And like what I noticed with your fans is they love to get their hands on you and you were very generous about hugging people.
[427] I'm the same way.
[428] I don't mind hugging people.
[429] Huge mistake at Bonneroo.
[430] They're moist.
[431] No one had, nobody had had a shower in a week ago.
[432] Oh, yeah.
[433] Oh, yeah.
[434] Naked and moist.
[435] There's a lot of naked, yeah, and disgusting people.
[436] Yeah, yeah.
[437] But happy and high, probably.
[438] Oh, yeah.
[439] You know.
[440] Well, you were high, too.
[441] I was.
[442] But not too high.
[443] I was working.
[444] I would send you out for an ice coffee and you'd come back with like a goose.
[445] Here you go.
[446] Oh, it's not a nice coffee.
[447] Yeah, it was Bonaroo.
[448] Yeah.
[449] It was a good time.
[450] You know, one of the things that I noticed was there's a this difference between your fans who you love.
[451] Like when they're telling you they love you and these, especially these young women who you mean so much to and they're going crazy and they love it.
[452] And then at a certain point when it's, if it's hundreds of thousands of people, I would think it starts to get, it's overwhelming.
[453] It's weirdly in a way, underwhelming when there's more people.
[454] So like I played my first stadiums over the summer.
[455] You know, I was playing markets.
[456] that I hadn't played before, so I hadn't been there, so I could, a lot of people wanted to go, and I didn't want to do, you know, five shows in an arena, so you might as well do a stadium or two stadiums or whatever.
[457] So I did a couple stadiums over the summer, and like, that was really exciting because I was like, ooh, I want to be in a stadium.
[458] It's so sick.
[459] It's so big.
[460] You're a fucking star.
[461] And then you're on the stage, and it's like, you feel like you're just alone.
[462] And then there's like a, it feels like there's a printed out wallpaper of thousands of people because they're so far, way that there's like no intimacy.
[463] I went to the Super Bowl the other day and I was sitting in a box with Adele.
[464] I know.
[465] It's what people do.
[466] But we were talking about it because she's I didn't see you there.
[467] That's weird.
[468] You know the name drop thing where people say the first name of the person and then they say the last name?
[469] Like you go like I was on Conan O 'Brien.
[470] You can't do that with Adel.
[471] You can't do that with Adel.
[472] Adel is just Adele.
[473] But anyway, we were talking about it because she's doing this Vegas residency and she's just you know not to out her but she said she's having a fucking the time of her life and she's like I love that it's like a 4 ,000 cap room and she's like it's so nice I feel like I can be there with them and I feel intimate with her having the time of her I don't know she might not want that to me no I don't know I can't write a song about that so you've got new battles that you didn't have two years ago I've been I've been in a, in a, I've been drowning in a pool of that recently.
[474] Just like, what am I, where do I, where do I, how do I evolve and what do I do.
[475] And, you know, I've just, I feel like for the last month I've been, I've been completely drowning.
[476] I feel like I, because dude, I mean, I, I, I, I achieved the kind of things before I even was 18 that are, you know, things that you people work their entire lives for and maybe never even get.
[477] And maybe, and like, and, and like, One of the things that I achieved is like one thing someone gets at the end of their life.
[478] And one of, you know, and I got all of them, you know, and I'm 21 now.
[479] And I'm in a point where I'm like, I'm done it all.
[480] I'm like, what am I going to do now?
[481] And like, where do I go from here?
[482] And who do I want to be?
[483] Because I've also only ever been teenage Billy Eilish.
[484] And so that's the person I thought I was.
[485] And then I got to a certain age.
[486] And I was like, oh, that was teenage me. That's, I thought I thought I was being my, I was like, oh, I'm myself.
[487] And this is who I am.
[488] And, you know, it was who I was, but it was me as a teenager.
[489] And it's very strange to grow up and become an adult.
[490] And, like, the person that you kind of finally figured out how to be in, like, the perfect way that everybody thinks is who you are is yourself as a teenager.
[491] It's very jarring and hard to deal with.
[492] I was really happy that your parents came there.
[493] They are outside.
[494] Yeah, they're outside.
[495] I wouldn't let them in.
[496] your father got in here twice and I had him taken out and I had someone shave his beard Oh, why?
[497] Yeah, I like it.
[498] It looked really cool, but I just, I have that kind of power you're in my building.
[499] Okay, right.
[500] So, no, he's, I think one of the things that you two have, that is rare, especially because you're both so young when this all started, when this was happening, is to have your parents there and have them be really decent people who have their head screwed on right just doesn't happen.
[501] I think nine out of ten times it doesn't happen.
[502] And that's a godsend.
[503] That's really special.
[504] I mean, I'm sure there are moments who are like, why are they on the tour bus?
[505] Very rarely.
[506] It's really fun.
[507] I love having our parents out.
[508] Yeah.
[509] Yeah, there was a moment over the summer where I was having like a, I need to be an adult moment.
[510] And like, I need to have space.
[511] and I need to have my own this and my own that and I need to go on tour alone and I need to do this and this and this alone.
[512] I want to be independent.
[513] And I do need that in a lot of ways because you need that as you grow older.
[514] But then also now I'm like, well, I like my parents being around.
[515] And I like my mom coming and doing stuff with me. Billy moved away.
[516] I did move away.
[517] And I think when you don't live with your folks anymore, yeah.
[518] It's nicer to, it makes you more grateful to do everything with that.
[519] So I'm like, now I just like, I, you know, when I have a free, a free night, I like go and hang out with my parents.
[520] That's the first thing I think of doing.
[521] Well, it is the pattern.
[522] I mean, I've seen it with my daughter, which is she was, you know, very smart, independent, cool, artistic.
[523] And then I could tell we were getting on her nerves.
[524] And then she went off to college.
[525] And she'd come back from college and she would ask us to do things that we know for a fact she can do on her own.
[526] She'd be like, could you pour me a glass of milk?
[527] Like, you mean the carton of milk that's right there And the pretty poise And you could tell like she just wanted to be back in that space This girl's drinking just regular milk No, no, she has a flask of scotch That she has on her That she pours into the milk That's how we do it in our house Makes it even we're talking a whole milk Two person this is not even like in LA Aren't you aren't you Isn't she a Nepo baby Isn't she on oat milk or almond milk Or pistachio milk You got this girl on 2%.
[528] Yeah, yeah, 2%.
[529] No, I live in the Palisades, and I'm a celebrity, so I found a special 9 % milk.
[530] It's got huge chunks of fat floating in.
[531] No, one drinks the 1 % milk.
[532] There you go, got it.
[533] No, I drink the 1 % of the 1 % milk.
[534] Only Adele gets that.
[535] Sorry, guys.
[536] go back to the sweet thing about your daughter.
[537] Yeah, think about it.
[538] But no, I think that's normal to, you know, that to me is almost defining not just your relationship with your parents, but the relationship you have with each other is it to push me, pull you.
[539] There's that mythical Dr. Doolittle Beast of, I don't want to fucking write a song, we got to write a song.
[540] Fuck you, no, and then you get this great music.
[541] and but then you have to go back to that space.
[542] Right.
[543] It's very true.
[544] Yeah, it's true.
[545] Billy is the most comfortable I've ever seen anyone in a podcast.
[546] It makes me want to get more comfortable.
[547] Can I do it?
[548] Can I?
[549] Okay, thank you.
[550] Go, lean back.
[551] And I'm wearing like basically pajamas too, so I'm in a good place.
[552] I've been thinking about doing it this whole time.
[553] And then I was like, but the mic doesn't move and it does.
[554] No, the mic has so many joints.
[555] The mic has a lot of joints.
[556] Take it easy, Sona.
[557] I might fall asleep.
[558] Oh, you will.
[559] Okay, all right.
[560] I was once doing an interview with a very important journalist, and Sona was next to me in a restaurant, and you fell asleep in front of the journalist.
[561] I did.
[562] I did you do that in front of Matt Lauer.
[563] Shout out to Matt Lauer, wherever you are.
[564] No, we don't need to.
[565] He's on that island in the Hamptons, right?
[566] That's just his house.
[567] I had a call with Robert Rodriguez, who, is incredibly, you know, talented and incredible and legend.
[568] And I fell asleep on that call.
[569] On Zoom, too.
[570] And then I drooled on my bedsheets.
[571] Was this pre -your post you having COVID?
[572] This was post me having COVID.
[573] Yeah, Billy had COVID.
[574] Once she had COVID, she got very lethargic.
[575] I got, super lethargy since COVID.
[576] She's like, never napped in my life before COVID.
[577] Naps all the time.
[578] Now I'd be napping.
[579] That's her COVID story.
[580] But I did, but I was doing a Zoom he was pitching me this whole idea because we were we were gonna do this he's pitching you he was pitching me he was pitching me because we were going to shoot this movie for oh like you even remember what he said was the one you did or is it was you know it was the Hollywood Bowl yeah we did this Hollywood Bowl film of the album whatever and he was he was pitching me the ideas and I was like I was fully my phone propped up and I was laying on my pillow It wasn't like I was sitting, you know, and I accidentally fell asleep.
[581] I was like fully on my blanket, on my pillow like this, watching, fell asleep, woke up, drool all over my pillow.
[582] So gross.
[583] I took a screenshot.
[584] Did he know or?
[585] Oh, yeah.
[586] He was talking to me. Yeah, but sometimes in our industry, people are so into their pitch, they don't notice that you've fallen asleep, you know?
[587] I wish.
[588] He was like, I just had the greatest meeting.
[589] Billy Eilish.
[590] She didn't say anything.
[591] She was so odd by my idea.
[592] And at the end, when I said, are you going to do it?
[593] She went, as above us.
[594] She was salivating for it.
[595] I can't say.
[596] She was salivating.
[597] She was so happy.
[598] How do you deal with, there was a moment I saw that where you're worried about a song and you said, oh, I don't, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this song.
[599] And the Internet's going to hate me. And I remembered when I heard that line, I thought, I got to talk to them about that.
[600] It's true.
[601] The last thing I would ever do in the world is type in, what do people think of Conan O 'Brien?
[602] Because I would read things that would make my face fall off.
[603] And why would I do that?
[604] He looks like a guy whose face could fall off.
[605] It does.
[606] My face is barely hanging on, Phineas.
[607] That's what they're saying?
[608] Phineas, yeah.
[609] You know, it's comedy.
[610] It's okay.
[611] I like some of the stuff on YouTube.
[612] But he kind of has a face that looks like it might fall off.
[613] Is it actually a mask?
[614] The chapels are giving way.
[615] And that would invariably make your face fall off.
[616] Yeah.
[617] I know what Melanie's talking about.
[618] He's talking about when you're hitting the belt.
[619] Which is interesting to think about and to like rewatch that scene because like I remember at that point in my life, my voice was maturing in a way I had never experienced before and I was able to sing in a lot of ways that I hadn't ever before.
[620] And more like I was able to open the door to singing like that.
[621] It was more like I didn't know if I could, but I was.
[622] trying to and I hadn't and I was it was scary I mean it was like outside of the you know my comfort zone and it's just interesting to look back now because my voices is is completely changed since then it's just so it's very sweet and like touching to me thinking about that it's a vulnerable moment and I completely understand everything behind I understand a thousand percent what you're talking about and then at the same time I think the internet I mean your generation has has only grown up with it we don't know what it does yet but I can tell you this, checking it out is not going to help the creative process.
[623] No, I know.
[624] I know.
[625] I don't look at it anymore.
[626] I've deleted it all off my phone, which is such a huge deal for me. Because dude, like, you know, you didn't have the internet to grow up with, right?
[627] Like for me, it was like a big part of, and not my childhood.
[628] I wasn't like an iPad baby, thank God.
[629] But honestly, I feel like I grew up in the perfect time of the internet where it wasn't so internet.
[630] E, that I didn't have a childhood.
[631] I really had such a childhood, and I was doing stuff all the time.
[632] And it was like computers and, like, games on computers, but barely, you know.
[633] And then it was like...
[634] Yeah, we were outside.
[635] We were doing stuff.
[636] And then when I became, you know, a preteen, there was iPhones, and then there was, you know, I got a little older, and there was all of what has become.
[637] But then being like a preteen and a teenager on the internet, those were my people.
[638] I was one of them.
[639] I was one of those people on the internet.
[640] and then within myself feel like nothing changed, but suddenly I'm doing what I've always done and looking at the internet because I am an internet person, kid, and not meaning like I'm an influencer, I'm a person that goes on the internet, that's all I mean by that.
[641] And to change nothing about the person I am in the life that I live and to just keep doing what I do over the years and slowly the videos that I'm watching and things that I see on the internet are like about me. I'm like, ooh.
[642] Stinky.
[643] I don't like that.
[644] And it's like about, it's like about, you know, how I'm a, like a video came up.
[645] I was with my boyfriend the other day and we were sitting there and this video came up and it was like, it was like, Billy Elish is a horrible person.
[646] Jesus.
[647] And then it was like a very serious video of why.
[648] And the person seemed like very, you know, like in the right headspace.
[649] And they were saying all these things.
[650] They were convincing you.
[651] Honestly, And I was like, geez, wow.
[652] These are good points.
[653] It's just funny.
[654] I'm just like, wow, it's just such a crazy reality that I live in.
[655] I'm like, that's my face.
[656] Oh, that's my face.
[657] Oh, that's my name.
[658] Oh, that's me. Oh, interesting.
[659] Okay.
[660] All right.
[661] And it's these definitive statements that they know are right.
[662] Somehow they know, somebody told God came down and said, this is the truth about Billy.
[663] And you know it for a fact.
[664] And you don't know her, but you know that this is the truth.
[665] And you have to tell everybody about it.
[666] And then everyone's going to believe it.
[667] And that's the other thing.
[668] that freaks me out about the internet is how gullible it makes you.
[669] And it makes me anything I read on the internet, I believe.
[670] Right.
[671] Me. And I know for a fact that that's stupid and I shouldn't do that because I have proof that it's not all true.
[672] It's almost none of it's true.
[673] And it's like little things, like small white lies that go over everybody's heads, but everyone believes like, you know, there will be a photo of me somewhere at the gym.
[674] And then I'll see paparazzi photos of me there.
[675] And that's what I was doing.
[676] And it says like, Billy Eilish in Hollywood going.
[677] to a studio to work on her new album and that's such a small lie but I'm like, why would you even need to lie about that?
[678] It just is very strange and then it makes me like, wow, how much was a lie that I was reading when I was looking at the internet?
[679] Oh, this is why I never go to the gym.
[680] Right.
[681] But they probably thought you were going today.
[682] Yeah, like he's going to the gym on.
[683] And the times I have gone to the gym, they do say Conan's working on his new album and they're like, but no, but I totally, you get to see firsthand both of you how skewed that reality is here's the thing about the internet it's anonymous and they don't think you're seeing it right that's the problem and it's also because you're popular you're so freaking popular it is a kind of like a nice provocative thing to do the point is if magically i could bring that person in here right now yeah that is not how they would talk to you well also if we just if they just took the time to like have a conversation with me we'd get along that's the part that freaks me out so much and i think a lot of the people, a lot of trolls or a lot of people that are, you know, sort of lighting fires on the internet, I always think if you could go to their house and just ring the bell and they answered and you have it and talk to them, they'd say, oh, yeah, would you want to come in?
[684] Would you like, I have tea if you want tea?
[685] Oh, that, yeah.
[686] I mean, anyway, it's so nice to meet you.
[687] They wouldn't say that to your face.
[688] No, of course not.
[689] And I don't even think they really would believe it.
[690] Well, I think that that's just the proof of like that we don't seem like people And I know that's like the most common thing anybody says, but it's really the truth.
[691] Like, I am not viewed as a, of just a person at all to those people.
[692] And they think that why would I be looking at the internet?
[693] And also, if I was, why would it affect me?
[694] I have everything, which, you know, is true to an extent.
[695] And, like, you know, I remember there was a period of time where hashtag Billy Eilish is fat was the number one trending on Twitter.
[696] Which was brave.
[697] Me and Finney's had a good laugh over that.
[698] I'm sorry.
[699] And there were all these...
[700] It's so extreme.
[701] But it's also just...
[702] It's not subtle at all.
[703] Yeah, yeah.
[704] It's not even a joke.
[705] Yeah, yeah.
[706] It's not even like a play on words or anything.
[707] It's not even clever.
[708] A, there's like, there's no remote truth to it.
[709] B, it's not something that someone crafted.
[710] Yeah.
[711] Well, but I was going to say, though, that the person, the person who like started it and was kind of the one instigating all of it.
[712] And it was this person that was like making these edits.
[713] of me where I looked Do you remember those edits?
[714] Where I looked really They were like drawings They were drawings of me just to look make me look really bad and it was horribly mean shit Like mean And I remember it They like these tweets And everything It was like hundreds of thousands of likes and responses And whatever And I remember my little thumbs and my little eyes Just look through all of that stuff And that's why I had to get off recently but because I'm a fucking internet kid I look through everything I always have since way before anybody knew my name, I used to look at the drama of what was going on and look through all the comments and look at all the responses and like, then when it's about me, of course I'm going to do that even more.
[715] So, and I remember looking, somebody said like, dude, you're going to like, you're going to make her, you know, suicidal.
[716] Have an eating disorder.
[717] Like, you're going to fuck her up.
[718] And he was like, please.
[719] She doesn't, why would she give a fuck?
[720] This wouldn't affect her at all.
[721] No, it was like, as if she's going to see this.
[722] Yeah, as if.
[723] She would never even see.
[724] She's never going to see any of this stuff.
[725] She lives in a castle made of Grammys.
[726] 100%.
[727] It goes thousands of feet into the air.
[728] I just don't know what they think we're doing.
[729] I don't know.
[730] It would be so funny if you won another Grammy and you were like, only 20 to go.
[731] So I build the final room.
[732] Beyonce probably could.
[733] It's like the Game of Thrones that's made of swords.
[734] Someone welding a bunch of Grammys together.
[735] The Grammy throne.
[736] And then driving around in it, putting a motor in it.
[737] Oh, this?
[738] Oh, that's my 45.
[739] Brammy's.
[740] I'm whatever.
[741] Just the ultimate humble braids.
[742] I've got a parallel park my Grammy car.
[743] Speaking of cars, I don't want to forget, but I love that you have that.
[744] Is it a Dodge Charger?
[745] Challenger.
[746] Oh, it's the Challenger.
[747] Love those cars.
[748] Yeah, they're nice.
[749] Matt Black.
[750] They're nice.
[751] And then I were talking just before we started this recording, and I find out that your dad trashed it.
[752] He did.
[753] He did.
[754] I was, uh...
[755] He's going to be so mad because he very well...
[756] I mean, it wasn't his fault.
[757] It was not his fault, or so he says.
[758] Correct.
[759] We were in New York.
[760] I was hosting SNL last two Decembers ago.
[761] You know, after we came back, I'd been home for like days.
[762] And my dad sits me down and he goes.
[763] So I didn't want to tell you this when you were, you know, in New York.
[764] Because I just didn't want to bum you out.
[765] But, you know, when you guys were gone, I was home alone.
[766] And I was, I wanted to go to this show.
[767] And I used your car.
[768] And I didn't ask you because you were busy.
[769] I didn't want to bother you.
[770] But I just thought it'd be fine.
[771] So I just used your car.
[772] and I drove it to go see the show because I was late and I didn't have my keys and something, something.
[773] And he was going through a light and a car was turning left and smashed into my car and got a nice, classic, good old den.
[774] Do you know what I love about this?
[775] It's total role reversal.
[776] You're away at work.
[777] I got to go out of town to go to work.
[778] Dad, I used your car.
[779] And I crashed it.
[780] Your dad is like, well, you were gone at work.
[781] I used your car.
[782] Where were you going?
[783] To a rock and roll show?
[784] I told you not to go to those I also had a party in the house but like all the other little dings on the car like that's the first car I ever had and I you know I learned to pretty much learn to drive in that car and so you know and also like having that nice car with you know my parents and my brother's tiny little houses and tiny little driveways and learning to park in a driveway I bonged and clonked into lots of When I was 16, you know, learning to do it.
[785] You don't have to answer this question if you don't want.
[786] Do you have some car that you drive seldom that's hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars?
[787] Do you want to answer that for me?
[788] No, he does not.
[789] You don't have any cool cars.
[790] Famously, for at least half of my career, I drove in 1992 Ford Taurus.
[791] He still has it.
[792] And I still have it.
[793] We still get it registered.
[794] And fans ask me how the Taurus is doing.
[795] Yes, I love it.
[796] One of my great achievements was tricking Brad Pitt.
[797] He was on the show and I tricked him into shooting a segment where he drove it and he's of course amazing at everything so we got in it and peeled out and burned the clutch and I refused to get it fixed because I was like that clutch was burned by brick that's sick and then yeah I have a Toyota Tacoma downstairs I like this answer because to me my friend of mine Anton one time said we were talking about fancy cars and he was like I'm rough on my cars and I remember thinking like yeah Me too.
[798] You know what I mean?
[799] And I eat food in them and shit.
[800] Like I feel like the kind of per, it's like sneakerheads who have spotless white sneakers.
[801] I kind of agree.
[802] It's like where are you not walking?
[803] You know what I mean?
[804] It can get that.
[805] It can get that way too with with gear like guitars.
[806] I have a lot of guitars.
[807] Our dad did like handyman work a lot.
[808] Our childhood to pay the bills.
[809] And one of the guys that he was a handyman for was a concert violinist.
[810] And the guy played a Stradivarius.
[811] violent and my dad talked to him one day and he was like literally fixing the guy's shelf or whatever and he was like so the strat is the one you play and they i was like oh you have to or it doesn't yes it falls apart you have to keep playing you have to play it yeah which i think as a philosophy is like the way that you should be with everything in life you don't need to preserve stuff you should use it and like get joy out of stuff is there an indulgence that you've you guys have like dabbled in that you're like okay we've had all this success we've worked really hard i'm getting myself a falcon, you know.
[812] The bird.
[813] Yeah, yeah.
[814] Finneas, what's up?
[815] It's my falcon.
[816] I've worked hard.
[817] Well, Phineas reverted into old rich white guy mode and made a built a pickleball court.
[818] I do have a pickleball court, yeah.
[819] Wow.
[820] That's a super, that's, yeah, that hasn't made any of my music better.
[821] Sure hasn't.
[822] And you had robots built that you can play with.
[823] Yeah.
[824] But no, I feel like we don't, we haven't really, there hasn't been like a big, you know, purchase, I feel like.
[825] Right?
[826] I'm about to get a new car, actually.
[827] You know what?
[828] I have a feeling they're going to send it to you for free now.
[829] Yeah, I have a feeling they're not.
[830] Trust me, I'm constantly mentioning.
[831] Who do you think she is, Will Arnett?
[832] They're not going to send it to her free.
[833] Wait, why would they send him free car?
[834] He does the voiceover for all.
[835] commercials.
[836] Oh, of course he fucking does.
[837] For what GMZ trucks?
[838] Is that what he does?
[839] I mean, he's got that perfect BoJack voice.
[840] Yeah.
[841] He does one line and then Bateman does another line.
[842] They both do a line of cars.
[843] But also, it's so funny because he's changing his voice too.
[844] I know, and so when I hear Will doing those commercials, he's like, it accelerates.
[845] You know, it goes one to 40 and I'm thinking, that's not quite how Will talks.
[846] I wish I had, I wish I had Will's voice.
[847] Ah, no. Imagine how cool.
[848] No. Yeah.
[849] Yeah, that's what you should do.
[850] I just pulled up and that's how I If only you had a different voice, Billy.
[851] But then I sang like me. But what if I talked like him and I sang like me?
[852] That would be great.
[853] That's so funny.
[854] That would be great if you sang, you did a whole concert as you, and then it was over and you're like, what did you guys think?
[855] Bless Phoebe Bridger's heart, that's kind of how she rolls.
[856] She does have a very cool speaking voice.
[857] She does.
[858] I get it.
[859] We're in the same boat.
[860] My voice is Will Arnette.
[861] and then anyway no real indulgences I have some I have a couple expensive guitar like I was the I was buying like the cheapest guitars I could as a kid yeah what's the guitar that you have that's the first one that you get in the fire I have a Martin from like the 40s come on what about your little Coco guitar well that might be the one I get first we were on tour in 2019 in the summer it was like June in 2019, and Billy's album had come out.
[862] And it was doing great.
[863] It was like the first time I went to a guitar store with any funds ever in my life.
[864] And I was like, this is crazy.
[865] I could kind of get whatever I want.
[866] And I remember going in and I was playing, I was at the guitar center in Boston, right by Berkeley College of Music.
[867] So every inch of the store was, was 19 -year -old kids going, like shredding.
[868] And I was so kind of pee shy in the guitar center.
[869] I'm not going to sit down and play a G. Like, I don't, so embarrassing.
[870] Right.
[871] And so I just eyeballed it and there was a toy guitar.
[872] There was a Disney Cordova Coco guitar that like wonderful movie for $70 or something.
[873] And there was nylon string and I was like, well, it was small enough that I'll sit in the lounge on the bus and I can have it in my arms and have people next to me not like be taken up too much room.
[874] Yeah.
[875] And I bought it and I remember the clerk being like ringing me up and I was like, do you guys sell a case for this?
[876] and he was like, no, idiot.
[877] How about insurance?
[878] You're just supposed to break it.
[879] But then we, like, immediately wrote happier than ever and then recorded it with that guitar.
[880] And so till then...
[881] Oh, that's the guitar.
[882] Well, I was going to say that since then, to my...
[883] What would you call it?
[884] I don't know.
[885] To my annoyance.
[886] Oh, everyone thinks it's a ukulele.
[887] Everyone thinks it's a ukulele because it's a baby.
[888] It's a little sweet, tiny guitar.
[889] Is it a...
[890] Is it a six string then?
[891] It's a regular ass guitar.
[892] It's just...
[893] It does sound tiny like ukulele.
[894] So we do a lot of things where they're like, the ukulele on Happier Than Ever, it's amazing.
[895] And it really bothers me. That's all.
[896] I really love that.
[897] It's a co -co -a song.
[898] But it's a really easy.
[899] It's a kid's so easy to play.
[900] And to your point about guitars after we played, it's the easiest.
[901] I remember you picked it up a couple weeks ago, and you were like, this is so easy to play.
[902] Oh, yeah.
[903] I mean, it's made for a kid.
[904] Literally.
[905] It's like what you would get for a kid if they wanted to learn.
[906] My favorite guitar move of all time is there's this famous shot of the Ramones on their way to a gig in like 76 and they don't have guitar cases they have their guitars in shitty shopping bags in shopping bags like just paper shopping bags and it's just like no, whoa we got our jeans on we got our leather jacket so cool going down in town we're going to play some fucking rock and roll you know who knows where the cases let's just use these you know Ralph's shopping bags how big are the bags they're just a normal you know a normal gross bag so the guitar is sticking two -thirds of the way.
[907] They just are kind of using it like, I don't know, put it in that fucking bag.
[908] Let's go.
[909] Come on.
[910] Didi, where's Dedy?
[911] Let's go.
[912] I think that's...
[913] Conan, how loud can you shout?
[914] You haven't even heard it.
[915] That's why I'm asking.
[916] I would like it if you stood in the corner and just shout it as loud as good.
[917] Oh, no. Oh, really?
[918] All right.
[919] Fuck it.
[920] Take your headphones out.
[921] I want to hear those pipes.
[922] Come on.
[923] Also, my signature vote.
[924] The vocal move is anytime, oh oh, Phineas is being rushed to the hospital.
[925] I just shouted.
[926] It's one of the weirdest moments.
[927] It is weird.
[928] You know what?
[929] I'll tell you something else.
[930] My signature song move when I'm singing a song is I always put in and I did it years ago I was singing a thing, I've done it in front of a lot of like big deal people.
[931] Yeah.
[932] doing a song together and I would put in I say Basha and I would put that in at the end and I did that in front of Sting and he was like, what the fuck was that?
[933] Why did you do that?
[934] It's so good.
[935] And I'm like, I don't know.
[936] It's the thing I do at the end of a song.
[937] Yeah.
[938] And you know what?
[939] I'm happy to come and put that at the end of any song that you guys write.
[940] We're definitely going to have you do that on the next record.
[941] That was the most, that was the politest fuck you.
[942] That was the actor.
[943] I couldn't even look you in the eye when I said.
[944] I shaba, ha, ha, ha, ah, ah.
[945] Look at that.
[946] That's a note that no one's ever hit before, right, Sona?
[947] They shouldn't.
[948] Yeah, of course.
[949] Nobody wants to.
[950] All right.
[951] Listen, I don't want to keep these guys because I think they have a hard out.
[952] There's no way we're done.
[953] What?
[954] Yeah.
[955] No way.
[956] You're part of a huge machine.
[957] I was told I'd be murdered if you guys weren't out of here.
[958] I don't even, I don't actually have a hard out, do you?
[959] No. Who's lying?
[960] Well, I have to be similar at six, but that's in like two hours, isn't it?
[961] Actually, I have a heart out.
[962] out.
[963] Well, Matt, I want to bring this up because Matt Goreley is a James Bond fanatic, and I am as well.
[964] And you know what's amazing?
[965] So much happened for you guys.
[966] And then it's like, oh man, come on.
[967] Let's go.
[968] We've got to get to work on this James Bond theme.
[969] It's incredible.
[970] What are you talking about?
[971] It's incredible.
[972] And then it's great.
[973] It's really good.
[974] I want to know when you're in that luxury skybox with Adel, Were you two just kind of like, oh, a couple of Bond?
[975] Oh, I literally didn't think of it until like just now.
[976] Oh, my God.
[977] Yeah, wow, interesting.
[978] Which is crazy, too.
[979] Which is funny because Skyfall, yeah, Skyfall is, we think is so awesome.
[980] One of my, is like my favorite Bond song.
[981] Well, one of my favorites, but there's so many good ones.
[982] There's so many good ones, but no, I didn't even think of it.
[983] That's so funny.
[984] But she was, like, part of why that was so exciting for me again because, like, I was young, you know, Bond wasn't like the way that it was for people in, you know.
[985] You're the youngest bond performer ever, right?
[986] Yeah.
[987] Yeah.
[988] And so for me, you know, when we were offered the idea to try, we weren't offered the gig.
[989] We were offered to try to get the gig.
[990] Which is the deal I think everyone gets.
[991] Pretty much, yeah, for Bond.
[992] I mean, because what if it sucks?
[993] You know what I'm saying?
[994] But could you imagine Paul McCartney submitting liver let die and they're like, yeah, I don't think so.
[995] Yeah, I know.
[996] It's true.
[997] That happened with radio, right?
[998] It should be live and led die.
[999] I know.
[1000] Liver let die.
[1001] That's more appropriate for Bond, though.
[1002] I was going to say.
[1003] It's pretty good, but what if it was.
[1004] And he said, what is it?
[1005] He doesn't even know he said it wrong.
[1006] I don't think I did.
[1007] I still can't hear myself because I have my screen.
[1008] You said live or let die, do you?
[1009] I think it should be live or let die.
[1010] Oh, okay.
[1011] Live or let die.
[1012] I also, he says, it's grammatically incorrect also.
[1013] What?
[1014] And you were young and your heart was in.
[1015] My God.
[1016] What are you talking about?
[1017] Oh, in which we live in.
[1018] The world in which we live in.
[1019] I don't think that's grammatical.
[1020] The world is in.
[1021] You can't end on a preposition.
[1022] You can't end on a preposition.
[1023] But you can if you're McCartney.
[1024] They should strip him of his knighthood.
[1025] Wow.
[1026] He ended on a preposition.
[1027] You can't do that.
[1028] And I've seen him in concert when he says that.
[1029] I stand and go, end it on a preposition.
[1030] That's cool.
[1031] I just watched spit fly out of your mouth.
[1032] Yeah.
[1033] He gets really fired up about prepositions.
[1034] Yeah.
[1035] Sorry, guys.
[1036] I don't know what happened to me. Bond was cool, though.
[1037] Yeah, but I was going to say that I was pretty young.
[1038] And so the thing that was honestly a big part of what was interesting to me about Bond was skyfall, to be honest.
[1039] That movie, specifically, that was the first movie and song of Bond that I heard about Bond.
[1040] Sorry to say it.
[1041] No, that's fair.
[1042] That opened me up to like, oh, whoa, you know, this is an incredible franchise that I didn't really know much about.
[1043] And that's like really thanks to Adele.
[1044] And also that the first, that title sequence is unbelievable.
[1045] He, like, falls off this bridge and falls into the fucking river and, like, sinks down into the fucking hole.
[1046] It's amazing.
[1047] That was, like, for years, I was like, this would be the coolest thing to get to do.
[1048] Like, we used to, I mean, we used to sit around and write potential bond, fake bond themes.
[1049] So did you go to that well at all when you had to sit down and write this or you just started completely from scratch?
[1050] They were all bad.
[1051] We were like, yeah, let's look at our old ideas.
[1052] It's so jerk.
[1053] James Bond, James Bond.
[1054] Liver left out.
[1055] Yeah, I don't think that one either.
[1056] Yeah, but I just think, wait, to have, I don't know, there are certain things that you get in a career, no one can ever take away, you know, and I think having, for me anyway, and I think for you came out, like having written, not just a James Bond song, but a really good one.
[1057] A really good one, and the one where Bond dies.
[1058] Yeah.
[1059] I know.
[1060] People watch your movies.
[1061] Get out there and watch your movies.
[1062] You're late.
[1063] Yeah, but thank you, dude.
[1064] It was the coolest thing we've ever done.
[1065] It was very cool.
[1066] And at the end, there's that bond cord.
[1067] Spoiler.
[1068] The minor nine.
[1069] Yeah, yeah.
[1070] Is that something that they just put in?
[1071] Well, it's Johnny Marr.
[1072] Johnny Marr.
[1073] That's right.
[1074] He's really cool.
[1075] He's a fucking G. Everybody we got to, like, we've collaborated.
[1076] We's now a little bit more, but at the time we'd collaborated to so few people and so getting to do that with Hans Zimmer and Johnny.
[1077] Especially such legendary people.
[1078] And they were so cool.
[1079] I think we went in so so bashful and kind of like, man, if Hans orders us around, like, what are we going to do?
[1080] Sure.
[1081] You know, he's Hans Zimmer.
[1082] And he was so nice and deferential.
[1083] And the same as Johnny.
[1084] I remember one time we asked Johnny what he was doing on the score and he said, I'm making a lot of sounds.
[1085] Then it's true.
[1086] He was.
[1087] So who?
[1088] Because I know for For you, because I've seen, I witnessed the moment, but I know that for you, Justin Bieber, meeting him for the first time, blew your mind, you have a completely different, because Justin Bieber came on our show when he was a little kid.
[1089] He was, how old was he?
[1090] In his teens.
[1091] Yeah.
[1092] I remember he still had that, the hair.
[1093] His appearances on your show are so dope.
[1094] And didn't you pour marshmallow peeps on him when he was like 18?
[1095] Yeah.
[1096] It was sick.
[1097] Yeah.
[1098] I did.
[1099] And then I was at some event with.
[1100] him and he was still he was like he was still a kid so i've always thought of him as a kid this like yeah that kid and then in the documentary when you're freaking out because you grew up listening to him and i think wait a minute if you're a big star and you grew up listening to him that makes me a hundred and five years yeah yeah but in your defense it happened very young it's not like there's a billion yeah it's true they're within a decade of each other i know that far apart but i was thought he was, I was very impressed with, I thought the message he sent you Oh, he's been the nicest.
[1101] You know, was eloquent and kind of beautiful and really nice and I thought, well, good for him, you know?
[1102] He's, he's, uh, I am, I am so grateful that he's in my life.
[1103] I'm, like, truly, it is a, uh, something I, I, I don't even, like, I don't even know how to like explain it.
[1104] Like, I, I am so, so thankful for, for him.
[1105] And, like, the way that he was to me when I needed it and he needed it, you know?
[1106] And like, we've talked about it a lot and just, he could have, you know, he could have just been like, oh, cool, you're a fan, like, bye, you know, oh, let's meet and that's it, take a picture and nothing else.
[1107] And he's continued to be so, he just doesn't, like, give up on me. And I know that sounds like stupid, but like, it's really true.
[1108] He really, he makes me feel so loved and seen and he's always reaching out to me in the sweetest ways in the most, like, just comforting.
[1109] ways of just like you're not alone in this like I was there and I think you know I talked to him the other day for a long time about you know this the pool I've been drowning in as I said and uh you know he just he said something that was so heartbreaking which was like you know he was like I'm just really glad that honestly you have me to talk to about this because I actually understand and there's really you know almost nobody in the world can know what it what it was like except kind of you and me and a few others and he was like I really wish I had me to talk to I wish I had a me to talk to when I was starting out and doing all that and going through everything because I didn't and I was alone and oh my God I was like, whew, it's true.
[1110] What about for you, Phineas?
[1111] Who are the people you've met where you're a soul left your body because it was too weird?
[1112] Fair few.
[1113] When I was 11, I went and saw Green Day.
[1114] Yeah.
[1115] And that was pretty rock and roll to me as an 11 year old.
[1116] And then Billy, in 2019, did like a show in Portland, right?
[1117] Well, that too, but you did this like Rolling Stone.
[1118] Oh, that was tight.
[1119] It was like Billy.
[1120] Because his name's Billy John Armstrong and Green Day.
[1121] It was a digital cover for Rolling Stone and it was Billy and Billy and it was me and Billy Drumstrong and it was us in front of his fucking tight vintage car and you can I have no capacity to be myself in front of him at all.
[1122] You know what I mean?
[1123] And he's been very personable and generous to me and I just look at him like, oh my God.
[1124] I'm useless.
[1125] Phineas was him.
[1126] for many, many years.
[1127] I mean, every...
[1128] He's to sign checks in his name.
[1129] I mean, truly, every single thing Phineas did from a certain age to a certain age was just trying to just be Billy Joe.
[1130] I just thought that, yeah, it was so cool.
[1131] I mean, everything about it.
[1132] That was big.
[1133] Well, I am self -conscious about time.
[1134] Yeah, keeping you guys because you've been so nice to come here.
[1135] And I will tell you in a very honest and sincere way that one of the nicest things that happens in my life occasionally is I get to meet and talk to really young people who are great at what they do and who seem like really decent people and I get this energy from it and even though I've been doing what I've been doing forever and I'm starting to fall apart I feel like a vampire like I'll have super strength tonight because I talk to you guys and you know I'm grateful that my daughter man, I mean, she has good taste and early on, she was like Billy Irish Phineas and your daughter, that's awesome.
[1136] Yeah, she is very cool.
[1137] She is very cool and a pure soul.
[1138] But it means a lot to me. It's very cool that you would come by here.
[1139] What a treat.
[1140] I mean, this is so exciting.
[1141] Yeah.
[1142] I can't believe we've never done anything.
[1143] Also, that's what's crazy too.
[1144] What's that?
[1145] We've never done anything with you.
[1146] We've never even met you.
[1147] I think what you got to hang out.
[1148] Before his face fell off.
[1149] Yeah.
[1150] Look, I'll take you guys out to the Cheesecake Factory this week if you want.
[1151] We're around.
[1152] Yeah, sure.
[1153] But thanks for having us.
[1154] I'm sure you'll be around.
[1155] This was very fun.
[1156] Thank you.
[1157] Thank you guys all.
[1158] Keep doing what you're doing and stay off the internet because it's none of your business.
[1159] I don't belong there.
[1160] No, you don't belong there.
[1161] And also, you know what you're doing.
[1162] You both know what you're doing.
[1163] You do not need anyone else who you've never met in Peoria telling you differently.
[1164] It's really true.
[1165] I didn't mean to laugh.
[1166] You're so specific with Peoria.
[1167] Well, that's an old thing.
[1168] It's an old thing that people used to say is, how's this going to play in Peoria?
[1169] Oh, okay.
[1170] This works in L .A. and New York.
[1171] But what about Peoria?
[1172] It's what are your hip references?
[1173] Yeah.
[1174] You're fired.
[1175] No, but you're right.
[1176] I never want to see you again.
[1177] Thank you for saying that.
[1178] I agree.
[1179] Anyway, I'm going to go out in the hallway and yell at your dad.
[1180] You're touching your car.
[1181] Thank you guys.
[1182] Oh, of course.
[1183] What a treat for us, man. Thanks, guys.
[1184] Yeah, thank you all.
[1185] Hey guys, Adam Sacks here.
[1186] Hi, Adam.
[1187] Hi, Adam.
[1188] Hi, Sona.
[1189] Hi.
[1190] Matt, I'm sorry.
[1191] But I came here with some information.
[1192] Oh.
[1193] Yeah, it's my, you know, duty as a member of the team to bring news.
[1194] I think that's pertinent.
[1195] I have a, you know, fiduciary duty, civic duty to the company.
[1196] I don't, I am terrified at this moment.
[1197] I don't know what he's going to say.
[1198] I think I do.
[1199] Matt knows what it is.
[1200] And it's really unfortunate.
[1201] But I had to bring it to you guys, which is that, Matt has a new podcast, and I think you're going to want to understand what it is.
[1202] Oh, what?
[1203] Yeah.
[1204] You have a podcast, a new podcast?
[1205] Yeah, okay.
[1206] So I just hesitate to even put this in your lap, but I have a new podcast called mall walking.
[1207] Oh.
[1208] What are you talking about?
[1209] Well, my buddy, Mark McConville and I, we just record ourselves walking through malls.
[1210] Uh -huh.
[1211] Okay.
[1212] It's called mall walking?
[1213] Sure is.
[1214] Oh, gee, at the end.
[1215] There's an apostrophe.
[1216] This is a spinoff of another podcast called Pistol Shrimps Radio where we would call play -by -play on women's rec league basketball, even though we don't know anything about sports.
[1217] Uh -huh.
[1218] But that league ended and we stopped going.
[1219] I love that idea because I've been doing that for years.
[1220] I've been trying to do color commentate when I watch sports and television with other people and they become enraged because it's all just nonsense.
[1221] Yeah.
[1222] So that one's in the wheelhouse.
[1223] I don't understand this mall -walking thing.
[1224] Well, we just take two microphones.
[1225] and we go walk through a different mall each episode and talk about the mall.
[1226] You're holding the microphones?
[1227] Yeah.
[1228] And you...
[1229] We record it in the mall as we walk through the mall.
[1230] Uh -huh.
[1231] Do people look at you?
[1232] Yeah.
[1233] Is it awkward?
[1234] Yeah.
[1235] Do you go shopping?
[1236] No. You just walk through the mall?
[1237] Yeah.
[1238] Okay.
[1239] Those are, first of all, impressed with the speed of those questions.
[1240] Yeah, what were you like to interrogate me?
[1241] That was right at a drag net.
[1242] You were just firing off questions.
[1243] That was fantastic.
[1244] I am really.
[1245] I'm not going to lie, I love the mall, and I like this.
[1246] Really?
[1247] I thought for sure I was going to get lambasted, but I'm a big mall fan too.
[1248] No, no, not at all.
[1249] I only brought it up so that Matt could get lambasted.
[1250] Oh, okay.
[1251] Well, maybe it's time that I spoke then.
[1252] You are a new father.
[1253] You have an infant at home.
[1254] You can barely make it in here to do this podcast.
[1255] And I'm always hearing, ah, he can't really make it in, you know.
[1256] No, he can't really, no, he's got this, the baby.
[1257] Well, his little girl, no, we can't.
[1258] Oh, he's feeling a little over the weather.
[1259] You're constantly barely making it in here for this podcast, which by the way, is a juggernaut.
[1260] And now you've carved out time for mallwalking apostrophe.
[1261] I will, with your friend, Britt Gugley.
[1262] This is bullshit.
[1263] I would never but mall walking ahead of this podcast.
[1264] Well, how could you have to?
[1265] time, there's no time.
[1266] First of all, does your wife know that you've carved out this silly podcast?
[1267] Well, my wife was on the basketball team where we did the play -by -play.
[1268] So she's in a sense responsible for this.
[1269] What do you mean?
[1270] Well, because we would go to her games and call the play -by -play.
[1271] That was Pistol Shrimps Radio, but now this is Pistol Shrimps Radio presents Malwock.
[1272] So you've told your wife, I can't, I got to go.
[1273] I know the baby has colic, and I know that you're running a fever and the dishwasher's overflowing because it's broken.
[1274] I got to go because it's time for mall -walk -in -apostrophy with Chas Billman.
[1275] Look, when you put it this way, yeah.
[1276] This is a terrible, you've created a huge I mean, Sona.
[1277] Do you go to the food court?
[1278] Like, do you eat it like a Sparrow?
[1279] We did stop.
[1280] Oh, that would justify it, huh, Sona?
[1281] We did yesterday, or not yesterday.
[1282] We passed a Sparrow last, whatever we went.
[1283] My buddy Mark got a dairy queen blizzard.
[1284] Oh, nice.
[1285] By the way, I'm determined not to know his name.
[1286] It's Mark McConville.
[1287] Okay, I got it.
[1288] Got it?
[1289] What is it?
[1290] Yeah, Sam Lipshine.
[1291] We also got kicked out of a Macy's.
[1292] Why?
[1293] Well, we went to the Eagle Rock Plaza and their Macy's is like a cave of darkness.
[1294] It's just falling apart.
[1295] Yeah, it is.
[1296] It's scary.
[1297] Yeah, that's rough.
[1298] I should probably have my headphones on, huh?
[1299] Yeah.
[1300] Okay, sorry.
[1301] Let me put them on.
[1302] It's your fault.
[1303] I want to be as responsible and professional.
[1304] as your other podcast co -host, Diz Lickman.
[1305] Which malls have you gotten to?
[1306] Eagle Rock Plaza.
[1307] Okay.
[1308] Burbank Town Center.
[1309] And that's all we've done.
[1310] Also, this thing's probably only going to come out once a month.
[1311] Okay, again, your time is precious.
[1312] Yeah.
[1313] You, this is fitness, though.
[1314] Can you do a live recording?
[1315] Can I come?
[1316] You can come.
[1317] No, you work on this.
[1318] Can I be a guest on mall walk in?
[1319] Of course you can.
[1320] No, no, no, no. I am not losing my team.
[1321] The mall walking.
[1322] We're going to miss it because we're going to the shops at San Anita.
[1323] Hey, I want to go to that one for sure.
[1324] Guys, we have, can we explain how show business works, okay?
[1325] Yeah, you can walk around the mall.
[1326] No, the water flows down from the top.
[1327] This thing, this podcast we have here.
[1328] Oh, you want to be on?
[1329] Is that what you're asking?
[1330] No, I don't want to be on.
[1331] I don't want to try and compete with Wiz Bathman.
[1332] Let me tell you something, Buster Brown.
[1333] We've got lightning in a bottle.
[1334] We've got a tiger by the tail with this colonel of Brian needs a friend and you're off mall walking.
[1335] Yeah.
[1336] And now you want to go too, Sona?
[1337] Do you wear like track suits?
[1338] Are you...
[1339] We can't.
[1340] We don't.
[1341] Is it a fitness thing?
[1342] Well, we are getting fitness because we're marking our steps and we're walking around.
[1343] Aren't you afraid of like the teenagers looking at you and judging you?
[1344] Oh, we're doing this at 11 a .m. on a school day.
[1345] Oh, okay.
[1346] No teenagers cut school to go to the mall.
[1347] I hope you're attacked by teenagers.
[1348] I really do I hope tomorrow I'm driving in and I'm listening to the local news and they say big trouble over at the Eagle Rock Walkatorium Look normally Matt Goreley and co -host Zander Baxman were brutally beaten by a gang of 11 year old children who were cutting school Normally I would be insulted by this But I'm actually with you.
[1349] This is a poor excuse for a podcast.
[1350] If you listen, you listen in your own risk.
[1351] It's stupid.
[1352] It's dumb.
[1353] It'll probably rarely come out.
[1354] Check it out on Spotify and podcasts wherever you listen.
[1355] Stitcher.
[1356] Can you go to the Pointe Hills Mall?
[1357] That was my mall.
[1358] Yeah.
[1359] And that's the Twin Pine's Mall from back to the future.
[1360] Hey, it is.
[1361] Okay.
[1362] Sona, is it not true that you used to cut school sometimes?
[1363] I never cut school.
[1364] I had perfect attendance from kindergarten to 12th grade.
[1365] Really?
[1366] Yeah.
[1367] Why?
[1368] Oh, suck on that.
[1369] Whoa.
[1370] Suck on that.
[1371] I was really proud of my perfect attendance.
[1372] It's the only thing I did right when I was in school.
[1373] Well, that's refreshing.
[1374] You didn't.
[1375] Yeah.
[1376] Because I know that you went through kind of a wild child period.
[1377] I did.
[1378] And that was.
[1379] You were Rizzo from Greece.
[1380] I was, but I showed up to school.
[1381] Yeah.
[1382] I mean, I'd get a lot of detention because I wasn't like really there, but I. And also you had a temper probably.
[1383] You probably lost it on people.
[1384] I did.
[1385] Yeah.
[1386] I had an issue.
[1387] I don't know.
[1388] you would believe this, but I did have a problem with authority.
[1389] And so I was, uh, mal then off quite a bit.
[1390] Well, uh, mal then off, but I'll, uh, We'll do Pointy Hills Mall together.
[1391] You come on Mall Walkin.
[1392] I'll show you where I used to work.
[1393] I love it.
[1394] At the watch store?
[1395] Yeah, at the watch store, which isn't there anymore.
[1396] All right, well, check it out, Mall walking, Matt Gawley, Zap Sternick.
[1397] Coming to a mall near you, getting a lot of ambient sound and muttering.
[1398] It's not a good podcast.
[1399] Yeah, yeah.
[1400] Well, you've done your job promoting it.
[1401] Check it out, everybody.
[1402] Check it out.
[1403] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.
[1404] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam O 'Sessian, and Matt Gourley.
[1405] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
[1406] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Koppel and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.
[1407] Theme song by The White Stripes.
[1408] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
[1409] Take it away, Jimmy.
[1410] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
[1411] by Eduardo Perez.
[1412] Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
[1413] Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
[1414] Got a question for Conan?
[1415] Call the Team Coco Hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.
[1416] It too could be featured on a future episode.
[1417] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
[1418] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.