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#1960 - Andrew Schulz

#1960 - Andrew Schulz

The Joe Rogan Experience XX

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[0] Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

[1] The Joe Rogan Experience.

[2] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[3] Time to Big Don.

[4] What's up, my man?

[5] Hey, first archery shot ever.

[6] Oh, that was cool.

[7] 40 yards with an 80 -pound compound bow.

[8] You got it right in the fucking vitals.

[9] It was cool.

[10] That's an amazing thing.

[11] You should probably quit now.

[12] Yeah.

[13] I mean, to take, first of all, the bow's not even set up for you.

[14] the way the bow is set up is for me I have shorter arms than you you would have a longer draw length so you have to kind of like move your body a little and you sent at that peep sight bro that's a long shot for a first shot ever in a bow 40 yards and an indoor range and you got it right in the vitals yeah now what were you thinking when I struggle to pull it back uh normal it's weird oh that is a common thing that happened yeah oh you didn't have an excuse at least Brian Callan had a fucking Wait, what do you say?

[15] I'm reading a scroll of excuses now.

[16] My labor?

[17] It's probably technique.

[18] No, it's a strength thing.

[19] I mean, it is technique, but it's just 80 pounds is 80 pounds.

[20] It's a lot of weight.

[21] I have a new respect for bow and arrow folks.

[22] It's hard.

[23] Yeah.

[24] It's very hard, but it's really satisfying.

[25] Like it puts in perspective, like the people who can do it on horseback, you know, you see it in the movies and shit like that.

[26] I don't know why I didn't think it was that hard.

[27] Yeah, that's a next level thing.

[28] The horseback thing is crazy.

[29] The Mongols would time their shot when the horse was in the air.

[30] So when the horse was in the air, then they would release it.

[31] Oh, mid -Gallop?

[32] Yes.

[33] So there would be less disturbance, less jolt on their body.

[34] So was that, we always talk about, like, Genghis Khan and how he was able to take over the world.

[35] Was the competitive advantage horseback weaponry?

[36] They had a lot of things going for them.

[37] They had strategy, first of all.

[38] They had devious, wild strategy.

[39] Like they would set people up like they would they would send a small party out and those people would go after a small party and chase them down They would lead them into like a canyon filled with Mongols and just slaughter everybody and block the exit and yeah They would hold a siege they would attack a city and they would bring so much food and so much so many supplies They just camp outside outside the city to starve until everybody starved out and then they would would start killing people and lighting them on fire and putting them on catapults and launching them over the walls and light their own houses on fire with the dead bodies of people they killed.

[40] That's motivational.

[41] Bro.

[42] Those motherfuckers killed 10 % of the population.

[43] That's the crazy thing.

[44] Like, I don't know, I always wonder about these times.

[45] Like, like, what was like the Roman Empire's advantage?

[46] And, you know, some people chalk it up to like road.

[47] So like, why was Genghis Khan so effective?

[48] But at a certain point in time, it has to be technology, right?

[49] There was a lot, man. A lot going on.

[50] It was the knowledge of the recurved bow.

[51] They were really good at the recurved bows.

[52] They had catapults.

[53] And they just had, like, Genghis Khan just had this unquenchable desire to take over the world.

[54] Yeah.

[55] It's really crazy that, you know, no one's scared of the Mongols now, you know?

[56] But then when one of those dudes fights in the UFC, you're like, Jesus.

[57] Wait, who's Mongolian in the UFC?

[58] Let's see.

[59] Who do we have?

[60] The Mongolian murderer.

[61] That's one dude.

[62] but there's people from that caucus region of the world like there's a lot of people from Kazakhstan and Dagestan So all the stands are Remnants of the Mongolian Empire Yeah Rockmanov Yeah Shavcott Rockmanov Yeah That motherfucker so good But they're just so tough over there It's just crazy that they took over the whole world at one point in time And then it all went away That's a lesson for America to learn Because Americans have this idea That we are the centerpiece of the military of the world This is it This is the baddest fucking army It's ever existed, bro No one's gonna stop us But the reality is Like every single civilization That has been in control Has gone under They all go under Now did those civilizations have nukes No No That's the problem That's the tricky thing Yeah, the problem is if we go out, we go out ugly.

[63] But unless China is clever and they slowly dismantle our power grid and slowly pollute our country with, like, bombing chemical factories and do it slow over a long period of time.

[64] Like, if you were a real conspiracy theorist, like one of them Reddit tinfoil hats.

[65] Let's go deep, my boy.

[66] You would think that China would not do a big thing, but a constant series of small things that people get accustomed to.

[67] You know, cyber warfare, they would start, you know, hacking into Google servers, Amazon servers, crash everything, financial disruption, crash power grids.

[68] Do it slow.

[69] Do it over decades.

[70] You've got plenty of time.

[71] As long as you don't nuke United States first, they're not going to nits you.

[72] They're not gonna eat.

[73] We already did that once.

[74] We're not gonna do that.

[75] If anybody is gonna be a first bomber, it's not gonna be us.

[76] It's not gonna be us.

[77] Yeah.

[78] There's no way.

[79] Yeah.

[80] That's a problem.

[81] That's a strategic problem.

[82] Because we're all worried about Putin.

[83] We're like, what if Putin gets back to the corner?

[84] What if Ukraine starts winning?

[85] What if you could what if this?

[86] What if that?

[87] What if Putin really does have cancer?

[88] What if you decides to go out with a bang?

[89] Like we're worried about that.

[90] No one's worried.

[91] Would have Biden just nukes China?

[92] What if Biden's like what's this is this?

[93] TikTok?

[94] You don't want to talk?

[95] You don't want to talk?

[96] You don't want to tell us about the code?

[97] How about this?

[98] Boom!

[99] Never.

[100] Never.

[101] We would never think that the Biden administration would go and nuke someone.

[102] Never.

[103] And they know that.

[104] And because they know that they're comfortable.

[105] Yeah.

[106] So you could do sneaky things.

[107] I would do sneaky things.

[108] If I was China or if I was Russia or Iran, if I was some country that didn't like us, I would do sneaky things.

[109] So is that the concern with TikTok?

[110] Oh, yeah.

[111] There was some fascinating conversations today.

[112] Because it looks like they're going to ban it.

[113] For sure, they're not telling the truth.

[114] Like, the way this CEO was talking to the senator today is like, oh, my God.

[115] It's like they just want to say whatever they have to say to get out of there.

[116] Like, he doesn't answer the questions.

[117] He dances around.

[118] And the senator keeps trying to say, that's a yes or no question.

[119] That's a yes or no question.

[120] Like, these dudes have been sending data to China from day one.

[121] And they're doing something with that data.

[122] They're accumulating.

[123] They're finding out how coordinated our kids are.

[124] Yeah.

[125] They got facial recognition on all of them.

[126] That's what the dances are about.

[127] They're just trying to find out how coordinated.

[128] Imagine.

[129] Bro.

[130] Wow.

[131] Every TikTok trend is just a little bit of, a little information about our youth.

[132] Hmm.

[133] Also, how easily, like, lead they are.

[134] You could get them to that app.

[135] Well, cloud is the currency.

[136] It's cloud, but they have so many things going for them.

[137] First of all, it's very easy to get a big following there.

[138] It's very easy to get shared.

[139] You can blow up, so that gets people excited about it and they use it.

[140] And it's genuinely a really good portal for creativity.

[141] Like some people do some interesting shit on there.

[142] It's amazing.

[143] I almost think it's our fault is successful because we didn't think of it.

[144] Yeah.

[145] Like we need some responsibility here.

[146] Like, why is another country coming up with the best form of social media?

[147] That's on us.

[148] We dominated social.

[149] That's Adam Curry's theory.

[150] What do you say?

[151] Adam Curry doesn't believe it's any different in the way it gathers data than what the American social media platforms.

[152] It's just a better distributor of that data.

[153] He just thinks that, no, this is just China kicking our ass, and we want to stop them from doing that.

[154] Yeah.

[155] That we're not doing things that are that much different than what they're doing.

[156] I don't know if that's true.

[157] It's just Adam is very smart, though.

[158] Yeah, no, I think that there's something to that.

[159] It's like, you want to win the culture war, and we've done that so well, right?

[160] Like, we had all these movies, these TV shows that, like, shared our culture around the world and that culture was romantic.

[161] It's sexy.

[162] You want to watch fucking Top Gun.

[163] You go watch Maverick, and you're just like, oh, my God, how amazing is it to be American?

[164] How about when Rocky wins with American shorts on?

[165] That American flag shorts on?

[166] The best.

[167] Away game, too.

[168] You know what I mean?

[169] Like, over there running in the snow.

[170] If we can change, you can change.

[171] We all change.

[172] 30 years later, same fucking problems.

[173] Same fucking problem.

[174] I remember when that problem went away.

[175] I remember when the wall came down.

[176] We were so relaxed.

[177] It was amazing.

[178] Wait, wait, wait.

[179] Take me back to this.

[180] So there's a time.

[181] When I was in high school, okay, in the 1980s, I was a freshman in 1981.

[182] And back then, we were terrified of war with Russia.

[183] It was a terrifying fear of a nuclear war with the Soviet Union.

[184] And break this down to me. So it's like, you're watching the news and they keep, is there like fear mongering?

[185] Do you believe it?

[186] Does it feel this propagandist?

[187] 100%.

[188] 100 % there was fear mongering.

[189] there was a look it's always been if it bleeds it leads in the news you know we talk about how bad the news is today but the reality is like five o 'clock news when you get home from work it was always the worst shit that happened double homicide in brooklyn yeah yeah it's always the worst shit of the day and also out of perspective because it's the worst shit out of millions and millions of people right but the big one was always Russia and you would see the Soviet Union and And, you know, you would see their leaders and you would see their army.

[190] And it was terrifying.

[191] They were the last great communist empire, you know, before China, right?

[192] Before China really blew up militarily.

[193] Back then, we weren't worried about China.

[194] Everybody was worried about the Soviet Union.

[195] And you felt fear.

[196] 100%.

[197] I talked to my wife, and she's younger than me. And she felt the same thing.

[198] And some of my other friends, I asked them, they grew up in different parts of the country.

[199] And they were like, oh, yeah, everyone was scared.

[200] Scared of the fucking Russians, man. Like, there was all those movies like Red Dawn with a Russian.

[201] invade we kicked their fucking ass son of back home yeah you know that was at what everybody was afraid of and then the wall fell and so when the wall fell and the soviet union collapsed we have to realize like that was a monumental change in the world yeah people relaxed yeah look we relaxed i was like thank god there's no more war anymore so what year is this what was the year was the uh collapse of the wall what's what year they blow that i want to say I want to say 89?

[202] 90?

[203] So then the 90s comes on and then in the...

[204] What year was it, Jamie?

[205] 89.

[206] Okay, so 90s.

[207] So the 90s come along and no one's worried about war anymore.

[208] Yes.

[209] Is there a cultural apathy?

[210] Because the 90s...

[211] Bad things were made in the 90s.

[212] Some of the worst American cars that have ever existed were made during the 90s.

[213] We got real sloppy in the 90s.

[214] I look at like one of the things I look about, with America like how in tune America is what's their cars like what's their cars like so space race produces some of the most beautiful cars space race and psychedelic drugs so space race is what correlation 60s yes so you have all the cars that are coming out 50s to 50s 60s 63 was when Kennedy says we want to put the first man on the moon so they're using all that crazy space influence or like spaceship influence on the cars and there's no restrictions right much not much not There's not much space influence really.

[215] I mean, some of these big, like, what is it?

[216] The big Cadillacs and stuff like that.

[217] They look like a fucking spaceship, right?

[218] Yeah, the old ones.

[219] And there was no restrictions, right?

[220] Like, you didn't have to go, okay, it has to have this much gas mileage.

[221] Right, none of that.

[222] You could just make whatever the fuck you wanted to make.

[223] And then, okay, so that goes away, and then psychedelics are 70s.

[224] Well, psychedelics are 60s.

[225] Oh, yes.

[226] And then the seven, in 1970, they passed this sweeping schedule one psychedelic act.

[227] that makes all those drugs Schedule 1 forbidden drugs All the drugs that are non -toxic Like psilocybin Like things that your body makes Like dimethylptamine All those things become...

[228] That's DMT.

[229] Yeah.

[230] All those things become Schedule 1 And then automobile design drops off a fucking cliff.

[231] I mean drops off a cliff.

[232] It's not totally...

[233] I mean, there's a correlation.

[234] It's maybe not totally the cause because it coincides with the gas crisis.

[235] So there's a gas crisis.

[236] Now you have to consider gas mileage in a car.

[237] That's interesting.

[238] That's right.

[239] So 70s is what happens?

[240] When do we remove the gold standard from the dollar?

[241] That's a good question.

[242] 73 or something like that?

[243] This is good tequila, dude.

[244] Not bad.

[245] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[246] Los Sundays.

[247] It's good, right?

[248] Repos is crazy.

[249] Yeah, it's very tasty.

[250] I was prepared for some fucking antifreeze.

[251] No, no, no. That's good.

[252] They're legit.

[253] But yeah.

[254] Yeah, and then we get, what is it?

[255] There's the whole like petro dollar thing that comes on after that where they have to.

[256] I'm not aware of all that stuff.

[257] I'm not good at that stuff.

[258] I think this is just where we make the deal where it's like oil has to be sold in U .S. dollars.

[259] And now we have a backing for the dollar when for a while we didn't, right?

[260] When we removed that gold standard.

[261] Who is it Nixon to remove the gold standard?

[262] 71.

[263] But, and now we're in that situation right now where, you know, most, you know, oil is sold in U .S. dollars.

[264] and then those countries that decide not to, if we're going to get conspiratorial, those people who have decided maybe they won't sell it, you know, in U .S. dollars, they have difficulty staying in power.

[265] Yeah.

[266] That's always been the game plan, right?

[267] Yeah.

[268] Hmm.

[269] Hmm.

[270] What does that mean then?

[271] How is it?

[272] We should have to, a real economist to work through this.

[273] We'll fuck this up.

[274] But also, we could just talk shit.

[275] And it doesn't matter because we're not experts.

[276] So we just stay in nonsense.

[277] Exactly.

[278] It's so funny that people get upset by that.

[279] Like, listen, this is a conversation that I would have whether or not cameras are on or not.

[280] So you just got to be able to deal with that.

[281] That's it.

[282] Don't take anything we say seriously.

[283] Bro, especially us.

[284] Yeah.

[285] We're literal professional clowns.

[286] Yeah.

[287] I was messaging you, I think, about after we had Ben, Van Kirkwick on the pod and Uncharted X, the guy was the pyramid.

[288] Yes.

[289] Yes, he's great.

[290] He's great.

[291] And everybody was like, dude, it's so awesome.

[292] Shane Gillis's dad showed up to the pond.

[293] And I was like, what?

[294] And I guess they think that he looks like Shane, an older version of Shane.

[295] But what I loved about the pyramid conspiracy is that the stakes are so low, right?

[296] There's no pedophilia.

[297] Nothing.

[298] Nobody's dying.

[299] It's like, did it happen?

[300] Did it not happen?

[301] It's just how old is this civilization?

[302] That's it.

[303] Is it 4 ,000?

[304] Is it 10 ,000?

[305] But you know that even with that, because Graham Hancock has a whole series.

[306] They call you racist.

[307] He's calling him racist.

[308] I'm not saying that black people didn't still do it.

[309] It's just older black people.

[310] 100 % was black people.

[311] Yeah, yeah.

[312] It was 100%.

[313] percent people in Africa.

[314] Stake the pyramids were 100 percent built by people who lived in Africa.

[315] Yes.

[316] That's it.

[317] All Graham Hancock is saying is that it's very likely that the entire world experienced a cataclysmic disaster around 11 ,800, 12 ,000 years ago, somewhere in that range.

[318] And it knocked us back into the Stone Age.

[319] But those people who were around before that were probably more sophisticated than we are.

[320] We just have a hard time imagining that.

[321] Yeah.

[322] Because we don't have any evidence of it.

[323] And we just don't think that the execution matches up with the technology.

[324] If we found some tech that would make sense, I think that we could go, okay, maybe this did happen 4 ,000 years ago, whatever it is.

[325] But so far, the idea of like a chisel and a stone carving all these blocks and then people just dragging them in the sand, I think it seems a little bit unreasonable.

[326] There's some real problems with that.

[327] There's some real problems with the actual physical limitations of the size of these obelisk.

[328] where they're cutting them in the mountains and they have to move them hundreds of miles like how are you getting them out of the mountains like what are you doing this is like 2 ,000 tons like what the fuck are you saying yeah you said it uh I think I was listening to the pot with you guys and you were like if I was if I was Elon Musk I'd just build one and I get that to a certain extent I don't know if you could I really don't know if you could I think we could do you know if you cut and place 10 stones a day yeah it would take you six hundred sixty four years to make the pyramid that might be wrong it's but there's two million three hundred thousand stones in the great pyramid you need a go man i know i do you need to go it was it was the craziest thing that i've seen that humans have made like all -inspiring talking to ben talking to randallson talking to graham hancock yeah i more and more think that we We just have to use our imagination, because we're thinking of technology only as technology that we've implemented, like these microphones and cell phones and shit.

[329] But it's possible there was a completely different branch of technology.

[330] And they had figured out something that allowed them to manipulate enormous stones.

[331] We just haven't figured it out yet.

[332] I mean, just think about like this, like imagine there was this cataclysm, right?

[333] Within a hundred years, like this idea of Wi -Fi is non -existent to people.

[334] Not exactly.

[335] It's a story that you tell.

[336] So wait, what do you mean?

[337] The internet?

[338] Yeah, exactly.

[339] It's just absurd.

[340] It doesn't exist.

[341] You can't hold on to it.

[342] Right.

[343] So right now we're looking for all these tools that you can hold on to and can build things with.

[344] And that makes sense to us.

[345] But we can't conceive of this like technology that existed just in the air.

[346] Yeah.

[347] How would you describe Wi -Fi to some dude that you met in an Amazonian tribe?

[348] You wouldn't.

[349] You couldn't.

[350] It's the same way that like, do you fuck with the chat GPT thing at all?

[351] Yeah.

[352] Okay.

[353] I don't even know what to ask it because I'm not familiar enough with what AI can do.

[354] So I would still ask it like Google questions because that's what I'm fluent in.

[355] Yeah.

[356] Does that make sense?

[357] I think you can talk to chat GPT4 as if it's a god.

[358] So I would just...

[359] I got some questions.

[360] Right?

[361] Am I closed?

[362] Sure.

[363] Maybe chat GBT 5.

[364] Can we chat GPT now?

[365] If you tell it it's a god, it'll be.

[366] I'll definitely start talking to you.

[367] Wait, can we talk to it now?

[368] Yeah, you can talk to it.

[369] Hey, you know who invented Wi -Fi?

[370] Who?

[371] Hedy Lamar.

[372] Who is that?

[373] Actress.

[374] That's true, right?

[375] It's not Bluetooth, right?

[376] It was Wi -Fi she invented.

[377] Is that correct?

[378] Hedy Lamar, who was his gorgeous actress, was a brilliant woman who, like, had quite a few inventions.

[379] Technically both.

[380] Stunny.

[381] Unless she died in 2000, Lamar was inducted to the National, National Inventors Hall of Fame for the development of her frequency hopping technology in 2014.

[382] She did it way before 2014, though.

[383] Such achievement has led Lamar to be dubbed the mother of Wi -Fi and other wireless communications like GPS and Bluetooth.

[384] And why did she invent this?

[385] For playback or something like that?

[386] No, I think she was a scientist before she was an actress.

[387] She was just hot, and no one gave a fuck.

[388] I mean, she is stunning.

[389] She was so hot, yeah.

[390] She was so hot.

[391] Is that a function of our age?

[392] Do you know Leah Lamar, the stand -down?

[393] Yeah, yeah.

[394] That's her relative?

[395] Because I had this bit about Hedy Lamar in my act.

[396] And Leah had to talk to you about it.

[397] And Leah came up to me and she goes, I think it's her.

[398] I think it's either a grandmother or her great aunt or something like that.

[399] It's one of those.

[400] But yeah, that's why.

[401] You know, and Leah's beautiful too.

[402] It's like, but Hedy Lamar was a smoke show.

[403] Yeah.

[404] Back when, you know, they were dragging women around by their hair back then.

[405] Really?

[406] Dark ages.

[407] Yeah, that's like slapping women in the movies was standard.

[408] Yeah, there was a. Yeah, early Bond films were wild, man. You ever see Steve McQueen smack the shit out of it?

[409] Who was it, Ali, who was the woman he did that movie with?

[410] Ali Sheedy, is that what it was?

[411] I forget who it was, the actress, but there's a scene where he's beating her fucking ass.

[412] It's horrible because he's actually hitting her.

[413] And you could tell, like, she probably didn't know it was coming, and she's got to be in the moment.

[414] Yeah.

[415] Allie McGraw.

[416] Allie McGraw.

[417] Yeah, it's horrible to watch, dude.

[418] But this was, like, how men behaved.

[419] Oh, this is the woman.

[420] This is the actress.

[421] Did you watch the, what is that show about the making of the Godfather?

[422] No, I didn't see that.

[423] What was the name?

[424] I was talking about, but I didn't.

[425] It was brilliant.

[426] Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[427] Why is the perspective all fucked up?

[428] I'm not sure.

[429] It's a perspective, everyone's all narrow.

[430] Everyone has narrow heads and shit.

[431] It's too bad.

[432] She was a beautiful woman.

[433] Give me some volume.

[434] Oh, you don't have headphones on.

[435] Oh, okay, it's okay, you don't have to give me...

[436] It's actually playing smack my bitch up.

[437] This is horrible, man. Like, he's actually hitting her.

[438] Watch this.

[439] He's actually hitting her.

[440] And he's threatening to punch her in the face.

[441] Yeah.

[442] And she starts crying, and he hits her again.

[443] How common...

[444] This was normal back then.

[445] Yeah, I'm wondering, like, how common when you were a kid was it to see, like, a man hit a woman?

[446] I think it was normal.

[447] I think for all of human history, it was normal until people started watching it.

[448] And then what the fuck?

[449] Until media came along, and you could see, I think people hit their kids, I think people hit their wives, I think people hit each other.

[450] What was the transition though?

[451] Media, because people got to see it.

[452] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[453] And you just got to see it, you didn't see what the kid did to get hit.

[454] Right.

[455] You just see the kid getting hit, you're like, how could you?

[456] Yeah.

[457] You don't have to hit kids.

[458] You would never discipline.

[459] Never.

[460] You don't have to do that.

[461] They want you to love them.

[462] Okay, question.

[463] They make mistakes.

[464] You got to communicate.

[465] I have a question about that.

[466] What about when they are?

[467] How do you communicate with a child before he understands verbal commands?

[468] And how do you communicate right from wrong?

[469] Well, I mean, before they understand verbal commands, you're talking about babies, right?

[470] They don't really, I mean, they can't even walk yet.

[471] My daughter started talking when she was nine months old.

[472] Is that early?

[473] Yeah.

[474] She's walking then too.

[475] She was walking and talking very early.

[476] One of my daughters.

[477] but the other one was like a year but what I'm saying is like when their verbal commands are just learning things like they're babies they can't do anything they can't even run away from you they're a little tiny babies so at that age you're not even teaching right from wrong you are you are but you're talking to them you know you talk to them like sweetness but you always talk to I always try to talk to my children like they are an adult that I respect you're very sweet with the youth.

[478] It's like, I think it's important.

[479] But it's a side of you that I don't know a lot of people see.

[480] Like you had your niece at the club the other night and you were so sweet with her.

[481] And it was, it was a cool side to see.

[482] The club is just fantastic.

[483] Club's wild, right?

[484] It was so cool.

[485] It's a dream, dude.

[486] I know.

[487] It's a dream that I didn't even have.

[488] I didn't even have that dream.

[489] I didn't want to own a club.

[490] Yeah, no comic goes into it going, I want to own a club.

[491] Yeah.

[492] And then you do it, but it was interesting thing.

[493] Like, I had this weird sensation i said yesterday about it's just like i'm like proud of you but i don't mean that in like a i don't know patronizing way like i'm genuinely proud of you but there's a specific thing and i was thinking about this last night when i went back about the club and you kept talking about like this way of like funneling and nurturing talent you're like yeah these are the comics that are going to come up and we're going to invest in these like local texas comics and then they're going to go do these shows around the world or around the country and we're going to send what is it the this is the mothership the mothership presents and it's in all these you know comedy clubs around and i thought of the club and i did both of the rooms and the rooms do separate things for committed growth that is really important yeah that little room teaches intimacy and connection yeah you can't just go up there and say words right you have to connect with them yeah sometimes in big rooms you can just say words and you don't have to connect because the connection is a little bit off there's a little bit of a filter so you can perform which is another thing you have to learn but the small rooms which is a lot of the times the new york guys that we get really good at is like those laughs die quick so you better tag up that joke you better punch it up hard you better make sure you're cooking it is there's like a pace that you can kind of build yeah so the small room they get to learn how to really fucking put your foot on somebody you know another thing that comes out of these rooms in the East Coast is the cold weather cold weather makes people impatient they don't want to hear your bullshit it's freezing outside they do go go go go go changes fucking Christ they get inside they don't want to be you'd be lally gagging Mark was saying that same shit he's like if you even think about like music and like rap like rap in New York bar bar bar bar bar bar bar and in the south it's melodic and easy and chill and beautiful for both reasons but I thought about this more and then I did the big room first and I'm not going to be like I was concerned about the big room.

[494] You were concerned.

[495] Because you said to me something about the big room.

[496] Murdered.

[497] You were like, now it was fun, but you said to me, you were like, it's the most honest room.

[498] But you're honestly hilarious.

[499] Yeah, but.

[500] So there's no issues.

[501] But that word, honest is usually used when like, let's have an honest conversation.

[502] It's never like, you're beautiful.

[503] You know what I mean?

[504] Babe, can I be honest with you?

[505] You're beautiful.

[506] You're gorgeous.

[507] You're amazing.

[508] That's never, right?

[509] So I was like, that's an interesting adjective to use a describe.

[510] the room and then I went up and it was it was awesome and there was an energy and there was an excitement and and the room was great and it also offered this other side of stand -up that I think a lot of people that come up in the small rooms don't necessarily develop the skill set until they're on the road which is filling space and it was like you can learn to step on them and that's how I came up in New York and shit boom boom boom boom and then you go do 3 ,000 seats how are you going to fill that?

[511] How are you going to absorb that?

[512] And I was watching Ron White go up there and that's a perfect example of just like kinetic energy.

[513] You're just watching him, fuck.

[514] He's like the Black Panther suit.

[515] You know what I mean?

[516] Just like absorbing everything, absorbing everything and then push back.

[517] That dude hits and holds punch lines better than anybody alive.

[518] Masterful.

[519] He hits him and he has a big ass fucking smile on his face.

[520] You know him and like Tony Woods?

[521] You ever watch Tony Woods?

[522] Oh God.

[523] Those guys are masters that just absorb, absorb, absorb, absorb.

[524] And then, like, I don't know, I just feel like if that goal is, which what you say yesterday is, like, really nurturing this talent and, like, creating comedians that can be great comedians, you've built a space that can do that.

[525] Yeah, we built it specifically for that.

[526] So instead of, like, making it so that there's big name headliners and you charge a lot of money for every ticket, instead of making money that way, what we decided to do is just don't think about that.

[527] Yeah.

[528] Just think about what's like what's the best place to develop comedy and how do we develop comedy properly?

[529] Well, one, you have to have open mics two nights a week.

[530] So we have open mics Sunday and Monday.

[531] Yeah.

[532] And then we also have experimental shows.

[533] We're like crowd suggestions.

[534] They write them down on a piece of paper.

[535] Brian Simpson's show.

[536] Brian Simpson's show.

[537] Dude, that was.

[538] And then you get bits from it.

[539] Like the beauty of those shows is, is.

[540] I think there's a Jeremiah has one that stand up on the spot too.

[541] And it's like you get bits.

[542] from that because you're liberated like the audience knows that you're just getting this idea yeah and that you're rolling with it and they used to have one out here called the riff that was good too it's a wheel you spin a wheel and it would roll and you'd like pick a card and it'd like land on a card love that was a good move too it's like the whole idea is to be able to you you just it's like a premise factory it's like it's just like pumping out premises and you never fucking know man I've had some bits that became like real good bits that I got got out of doing those kind of shows yeah i don't want to i don't want to say the one we were talking about yesterday so you could develop but that that's gonna be that's gonna be one yeah there's those feelings sometimes where you say a line you're like oh yeah it's gonna be something i really want to tell everybody that they'll hear it eventually it's a good fucking line do you hold no no no no no i gotta keep that but it was it was just i man it was just energy there's an energy well everybody is working towards the right thing can you talk about i think you're going to fuck the game up with the the pay too that's can we talk about that's not talk about that we don't need to talk about that people don't need to know what people getting paid you are a good man and you care about comedians i'll say that you don't say it well thank you but i will say it for you and you're going to fuck some people up with this shit well the whole idea is just to make the best possible place for stand -ups to perform what Joe's trying to say is the whole idea is for him to make no money yeah it's for comedians to make all the goddamn well my idea is to make it so that the look my only goal is the club break even yeah I'm like I don't care if it makes money I make a lot of money yeah yeah do you worried about money yeah I don't worry about money yeah but I worry about narrow inside today 40 yards but it's It's like, so that's not what I'm interested in.

[543] What I'm interested in is like, what would be the best case scenario?

[544] You know, I always talk about when we were kids, if someone said, oh, if you had all this money, what would you do?

[545] Well, I'd make the best fucking comedy club, and I'd set it up just for comedians.

[546] Yeah.

[547] So I'm like, why don't you just do that?

[548] Yeah.

[549] That was it.

[550] Yeah, it's awesome.

[551] And the staff's awesome.

[552] Yeah.

[553] The best people from the comedy store.

[554] I mean, I already told you I was going to come down when you opened.

[555] and but I will say after that week like the energy that I saw from it I was like oh wow yeah something's going on over here yeah something's going on but I and listen I was also one of these people who are like Austin can't sustain a comedy club there's not enough people I think I told you that I was I didn't know if it was possible now granted you have a pretty good batting average with the things you care about like so far I think you're batting like a thousand percent on the things that you want to do well if you really like something and you do it it's infectious yeah you know if you really love what you do it's infectious but I think with Austin specifically one of the things I didn't realize is that like comedy is the professional sport here you don't have a basketball team you don't have a football team you got a college football team you got a soccer team right but for people who are not gay there's there's There's There's You know Oh no Run around kicking balls all day That's fun But comedy I feel like Is the professional sport here And the people who are in That ecosystem Have become The professional athletes Well for people Who are comedy fans Imagine that this happens Imagine if you're a comedy fan And the whole world shuts down But Texas doesn't Yeah And then people are looking at Texas, like, how are they partying over there?

[556] What the fuck's going on over there?

[557] And then some people come and visit.

[558] And then, you know, maybe some people know people who got sick and got better real quick.

[559] And maybe some people start getting skeptical.

[560] And maybe some people start saying, well, I haven't been sick in 10 fucking years.

[561] Am I the same as some fat guy with smoked cigarettes?

[562] Like, what the fuck is going on here?

[563] And you get a little upset.

[564] And then the government continues to keep you shut down.

[565] You go, you know what?

[566] I'm going to go look at Texas.

[567] And then you fly out here.

[568] and you convince 12 world -class comedians to move here, too.

[569] Now, if I was a comedy fan and I was living around here, I'd be like, holy shit, what is happening?

[570] That's true.

[571] Because that's never happened before.

[572] All the scenes in our lifetime and in our predecessors' lifetimes were isolated.

[573] There was the Boston scene, which is like a scene that guys would get really good at, but the good ones would leave, the Burrs and the Nick DePaulos and the knees and the Dane Cooks and everybody would leave.

[574] You know, Louis C. Louise.

[575] You know, Stephen Wright, they'd all leave, right?

[576] But it was an amazing breeding ground.

[577] Yeah.

[578] And then there was the New York scene, which is like A scene.

[579] And L .A. scene, which is like A minus.

[580] Yeah.

[581] Like New York was generally better quality of comics.

[582] Because there was no other opportunity for anything else.

[583] But L .A. had the occasional Dom Herrera would stop in.

[584] But there was only those scenes.

[585] San Francisco was always a little.

[586] little shaky.

[587] It never really had like a rock solid, big booming scene.

[588] But Austin does now.

[589] Like it does.

[590] And it didn't before.

[591] It was a small scene before.

[592] It was a good scene.

[593] You know, like some good comics came out of here.

[594] Brendan Walsh came out of here.

[595] You know, like Hicks, Kinnison.

[596] They were in Houston and here.

[597] But that was a long time ago.

[598] That was the 80s.

[599] What do you think it is?

[600] Like all my favorite comics are from Boston.

[601] And I've been trying to like understand why that is.

[602] because we grew up in a place where it's cold and no one gives a fuck and the women are very mean dude no no there's something to that like when the women also have a sense of humor yeah your mediocre sense of humor isn't not good enough good enough you can't get laid with just regular jokes the girls are already funny Scotland's like this yeah all my like irons and everything it's like they're ballbusters like I had to learn comedy as like a defense mechanism because my aunts were ruthless, ruthless, just roasting my brother, me, and we were just sitting there like, okay, I got to find a way to, like, handle this shit.

[603] That's funny.

[604] But, yeah, I've always wondered that with Boston, and I asked a dude once, and I was like, why do you think it is?

[605] And he said the same thing, but he also said, like, there's an arrogance to Boston, too.

[606] Like, this is where the nation began.

[607] Like, there's a, what is that?

[608] They're like the aristocrats.

[609] They're like the original aristocrats.

[610] Like a guy who's like roofing in Boston still is like, yeah, but I'm from Boston.

[611] Like, and I wonder if you need that arrogance to also say the things that you want to say.

[612] Sometimes you could be crippled by working class environments where you're like, I'm not any better than anybody in this town.

[613] I'm not any better than just my friends.

[614] I shouldn't go on stage and say that.

[615] Like who do I think I am to go talk in front of these people?

[616] You need a little bit of bravado to either go.

[617] There's so many variables and so many factors, but one of the factors is you need, like, a group of guys that are dedicated to comedy and are really getting after it, and they set the bar for everybody else.

[618] That was what was happening in Boston.

[619] It was Barry Crimmons.

[620] I remember Barry Crimmons became my friend, but I was fucking terrified of that dude.

[621] Why?

[622] Because he was the standard bearer.

[623] He would not let any hacks in.

[624] He would be angry at you if you were a hack.

[625] was very well -versed politically.

[626] You couldn't have some bullshit argument conversation with Barry Krimmins.

[627] He would destroy you.

[628] He was ruthless.

[629] And he was really fucking funny.

[630] And he was just like, he had great political material, great social material.

[631] He was a working class guy.

[632] And he set the standard.

[633] He was the fucking man in Boston.

[634] Bro, I was scared of him.

[635] I wanted to avoid him.

[636] Like, rah!

[637] I'd fucking go around him because I thought I was an open micer.

[638] I sucked.

[639] And then when Barry Krimand, became my friend and told me he thought it was really funny I was like oh best day oh thank god yeah yeah yeah because he was the guy he was like the he was smarter than everybody else that's barry he was smarter than everybody else and he had the highest standard of comedy he had the highest standard of comedy and he was the mentor for the rest of the group so you you see guys that pop up like that in comedy like keith robinson is another one do you know yeah it's ruthless and he is ruthless he's he is ruthless he has the highest standard of comedy he's absolutely hilarious and he genuinely loves helping and putting people on a hundred percent and it's rare that you get that concoction he's beautiful he is like i don't know if people even know the stories of him like driving fucking kev up from philly and driving a bunch of guys up from philly and being like hey you need to come up here you need to be in new york because people are going to find out about you and you're fucking great that's beautiful and dude he's had uh two strokes.

[640] I know.

[641] And he's funnier.

[642] I heard he's hilarious because he's just like going for it because it's like he's dying.

[643] I wish I could say some of this shit.

[644] I know.

[645] I know some of it.

[646] It was in the yeah it was in the Mitzies the other day.

[647] Everybody was quoting shit I was holding my sides.

[648] It is.

[649] Wild.

[650] And you can't refute it because he's not just saying wildshed to be wild.

[651] He's coming from this place where I was like I had these strokes Yeah.

[652] Yeah.

[653] Dude.

[654] And killing.

[655] I told him it was funny.

[656] I told him I think they stroked you up I think it's like it's a benefit in a way Isn't it funny that it's almost like you need something like that to be truly free sometimes I did a theater in Miami once and Wanda Wanda Sykes and Keith were on before me and they both left me notes I was waving to them on the way in they were waving on the way what's up what's up they both let me notes Wanda was the sweetest nicest note it was great to see you I hope you have a great set You know much love Keith Robinson says I hope you have the worst set of your fucking life I hope you you bomb in front of your stupid fans Dude I save that I have that napkin I still have that napkin It's interesting it's like You're making me think about comedy scenes and like what makes it good You need a standard bearer It helps Yeah it means multiple standard bearers would be ideal But you definitely need at least one person You need someone who people will listen to That they respect Yeah But maybe isn't in the stratosphere Like maybe they're not You know fucking superstar Mega star movie star But just is purely respected Because of their standing That helps That way there's less jealousy Yes Here's the other thing about it is though That like In Barry's time The really comedy was new We have really have to understand our art form in a historical perspective what do you want this in a historical perspective because our art form really didn't even branch off into what you and i do until lenny bruce so what is lenny bruce his era is like late 50s early 60s and into like when did Lenny die?

[657] When he died, the end of Lenny's career, and by the way, I'm a giant Lenny Bruce fan.

[658] I mean, if you go walk into my club, one of the first things you see is a big ass picture of Lenny Bruce.

[659] So he died in 1966.

[660] And you have to understand, like, the last couple years of his life were completely entangled in legal battles.

[661] So, like, the Lenny Bruce that we're talking about.

[662] So, like, late 50s.

[663] this guy literally invents an art form because it just didn't really exist that way I mean Mark Twain did some spoken word stuff where he read some of his books and he was apparently very funny and people talk about Mike maybe Mark Twain was like the first stand -up the first guy to do stand -up but then there was guys who just did jokes and they would like tell like two Jews walking to a bar like the Borchbel comedians they were coming up yeah the Catsgill they would all steal from each other it was like house jokes yeah house jokes a lot of house jokes.

[664] There was a lot of really dumb shit.

[665] But, you know, funny, good times, you know, whatever.

[666] And there was guys who could deliver.

[667] Oh, yeah.

[668] In an amazing way.

[669] Buddy hack it.

[670] There was some of those guys that were killers.

[671] Yeah.

[672] They were killers.

[673] Very funny guys.

[674] But it's just like, what were they working with?

[675] They were working with stone tools.

[676] Yeah.

[677] Okay.

[678] Yeah.

[679] And so then along comes Lenny Bruce.

[680] And Lenny Bruce starts - He just breaks the mold.

[681] He starts looking at society.

[682] So it's looking at culture.

[683] Yeah.

[684] And, and sex.

[685] and racism and drugs.

[686] The race stuff that he has holds up today.

[687] There are jokes that he's told.

[688] Today.

[689] There's a joke because I think he would go on a road with a black dude who was like a jazz musician that I think would open for him.

[690] And he would talk about the Frenchman.

[691] He'd talk about white people trying to ingratiate themselves to his black friend.

[692] And like the awkwardness that white people have.

[693] And like the examples he's using like maybe today we'd be like are kind of hacky, but like for the first person to ever say it, to like see white people trying to win over a black person.

[694] Yeah.

[695] So, we have some watermelon at the party.

[696] Would you like some watermelon?

[697] Like, that's a line that he has in it.

[698] And he's just like, but he's observing whites at a time where whites are probably integrating with blacks way more often and then not really knowing how to do it.

[699] And that awkwardness.

[700] And then you got this guy Lenny Bruce who just fucking likes this guy.

[701] Not that he's black.

[702] He just likes his guy.

[703] He enjoys the music.

[704] He enjoys who he is.

[705] And he's observing other people that just are, the only thing they can see him as is a black dude.

[706] They can't see past that.

[707] So the only way that they can relate is what they know about black people.

[708] Yeah.

[709] And now you see that same joke.

[710] You see the white people awkward around black people.

[711] That starts there.

[712] Well, Richard took that.

[713] Like, Pryor did that after Lenny did that.

[714] Prior was like the better version of Lenny.

[715] What Pryor was, was like, what Lenny had started, prior was like, I got this.

[716] I got, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[717] I got, I'm going to take this to a new place.

[718] I appreciate you.

[719] I appreciate you.

[720] I'm going to take this to a new place.

[721] way funnier.

[722] Yeah, yeah.

[723] And what prior did, it was like self -deprecating.

[724] It was way funnier.

[725] It was bleeding.

[726] Lenny was very funny, but we have to take it in the context of the times.

[727] If we were back in the Lenny Bruce days, if you and I were us right now and we were sitting at our ages right now, and we were just like regular guys and we're sitting in the back of the room in 1957 and we see Lenny go up and break down culture and society, we'd be like, what?

[728] What is going on?

[729] Yeah, yeah.

[730] We'd be dying laughing.

[731] He had this joke about gays.

[732] It's such a great joke.

[733] This is the 60s?

[734] 50s, probably.

[735] I mean, died 63.

[736] Is that what it was?

[737] Yeah.

[738] What was it?

[739] 66.

[740] So maybe early 60s.

[741] So he has this joke.

[742] And he goes, dig.

[743] You know, they make homosexuality illegal.

[744] So what do they do?

[745] They arrest you and they put you in jail with a bunch of men want to have sex with you.

[746] They're testing you.

[747] He broke that shit down.

[748] And, like, 58.

[749] What a punishment.

[750] And, bro, it would murder.

[751] People would be like, oh, my God, what is happening?

[752] Yeah.

[753] And then people thinking about, like, everybody always knows a dude's got fucked in jail.

[754] That's how...

[755] Genius.

[756] Yeah.

[757] So it's like, back then saying that, though, on stage when everybody else was like, two Jews walk into a bar.

[758] And Lenny was, like, breaking things down, talking about language and the culture and music and life.

[759] The romance.

[760] That's interesting you say Twain.

[761] That you talk about Twain.

[762] And yeah, you do see it with the writers that have like a comedic twist and their ability to kind of like analyze culture but not turning it into stand -up.

[763] They could, though.

[764] It's like a lot of them really could.

[765] Yeah.

[766] They would have to just learn how to deliver it, which is not the hardest part because the writing is like some of the hardest part.

[767] Yeah, but sometimes like I've noticed this with writers that they're so prolific on the page.

[768] But when they try to communicate it, it's a different art form almost.

[769] It's like the ideas are there.

[770] They just don't understand how to hold attention the same way.

[771] Well, you know what it is?

[772] They're out of shape.

[773] It's like when I think it's a thing.

[774] It's like playing pickup basketball.

[775] The more stand -up I do, the looser I get on stage.

[776] The looser I get on stage, the more fun I have on stage.

[777] The more fun I have on stage, the more I'm inventing new stuff.

[778] The more sets you do, the better you get.

[779] It's just real numbers.

[780] And if you're a guy who's like this awkward fellow, who sits in front of a think pad all day, and he's just like writing on Microsoft Word, writing very funny things.

[781] 300 people.

[782] This is going to be a good one.

[783] Occasionally you talk to your wife like, oh, what do you want to do for dinner?

[784] You know, like you're awkward.

[785] You're very brilliant, but you're alone in front of your computer.

[786] And then all of a sudden you have to go in front of people and deliver these ideas.

[787] You have to learn how the delivery thing you have to put it in the reps. It's a lot of reps. It seems way more simple than it is.

[788] Yeah.

[789] It seems when a person, up there like I was watching you last night it's like he's just talking yeah like why is it so funny yeah like that's how people look at it like why is this guy so funny like he's just talking I talk too yeah I could do that I know how to talk yeah but they don't understand like you're you're you're just doing this magic show for them and they think it's just talking isn't that wild that like it doesn't start as just talking and ideally we can break it down to the point where that's what it feels like yeah Like it starts in our head there's like a premise and there's a line or there's a statement or there's like like I'm now I'm thinking of that joke that we won't say that you have and it's just like that's just a statement.

[790] That's a feeling, you know.

[791] I was talking to, I was talking about my boy Mark and I was just like let's just like riff, but don't tell me a single joke.

[792] Tell me what you feel.

[793] Tell me what is causing anxiety or anger.

[794] Don't try to make me laugh.

[795] Just tell me what you feel.

[796] And every time.

[797] that is the joke the punch lines will come and they'll insert themselves but that you're not going how can I make this situation funny that is how you fucking feel and that's why we laughed at it that's why you'll say it in front of a group of comics and we all laugh not because you're trying to misdirect us not you're trying to trick us that's how you feel and we're all going yeah Joe kind of does feel like that I might feel like that a little bit depends on the lady now you're giving it away but yeah that's i don't know that's to me like that's the beauty of like a great joke or like a great premise is the one where it's like you almost stumble into it yeah you're like emotionally engage in it so much you're not even trying you almost have to think of it like musical notes like there's all kinds of musical notes they're all good yeah but they just serve different purposes and to make a great song you got to put them all together where it flows and that's like of what we're doing too yeah it's like you're gonna have those jokes it's like that's how you feel and then you're gonna have some jokes we take people down and left her and like whoops and what about that yeah and they're like ah yeah you know like that's that's a part of it too it's like there's a lot of stuff going on when you're doing comedy i almost yeah i almost think i memorize like people go how do you memorize all the words and it's like i don't think i memorize the words i think i memorize the song yeah how it sounds yeah and like how it feels and the rhythm of it and i think that's why like sometimes when you like adjust to different room sizes like your rhythm can get off and you go you go oh i forgot that section yeah because the song is different yeah the song is slower the song is faster but i memorize the song in this uh was it pace or syncopation or whatever it is this rhythm now it's a different rhythm i need to memorize it in this different rhythm yeah arena timing that's oh that's a perfect example well i've never done arenas but like well i want you do Yeah, so...

[798] We'll do them together.

[799] Let's go, let's go.

[800] I mean, what a crazy.

[801] Let's do it.

[802] That would be a crazy.

[803] Let's fucking go.

[804] Come on, man. We'll have...

[805] So what happens?

[806] Is it slowed?

[807] There's so many people.

[808] So you find yourself...

[809] Like some punchlines you have to hang on to it for a little bit.

[810] But also like facial expressions are bigger, you know, and then there's giant screens everywhere where your faces where people can see it and we're all together.

[811] And when you're in the round, the round is the shit.

[812] Are you actively turning?

[813] Yeah.

[814] So, so.

[815] You're going, okay, I face this way a lot.

[816] Let me give energy.

[817] No, no, no, no, just go.

[818] It just flows.

[819] Just go.

[820] No thinking like that.

[821] But it's just like you're in the round, so it's actually intimate.

[822] Yeah.

[823] It's like as intimate as you can get like 16 ,000 people stuffed in together.

[824] Yeah.

[825] Because they're all looking at the people that are on the other side and we're all together.

[826] It's not like a wall and a stage.

[827] Yeah.

[828] It's way more intimate.

[829] Yeah.

[830] It's like double intimate because you're surrounded.

[831] It feels good.

[832] It's fun.

[833] It's my favorite way to do.

[834] Really?

[835] My favorite way.

[836] Yeah.

[837] It's my favorite way.

[838] Huh.

[839] I mean, you can't do 16 ,000 people all the time.

[840] It's not good for your comedy.

[841] What happens is you're not going to invent new lines.

[842] You're going to stick to your script.

[843] You're going to stick to the bits.

[844] There's too many people.

[845] Yeah.

[846] It's too big.

[847] It's a show.

[848] I agree with that.

[849] It's a different thing.

[850] When you are doing little boy, that little tiny room that we have.

[851] That's where we find something.

[852] That's where we find something.

[853] That's what we...

[854] These are your friends.

[855] We're fucking around.

[856] We're having a couple of drinks.

[857] We're talking some shit.

[858] You can touch everybody in there.

[859] They want you to talk some shit.

[860] They want you to explore.

[861] And that's...

[862] Be naughty.

[863] The real comedy fans know, because of these kind of conversations, that that's how we come up with bits.

[864] That's where premises emerge.

[865] Yeah.

[866] The creativity is this fucking...

[867] You can't grab it.

[868] You don't know what it is.

[869] You don't know how it comes or how it doesn't come, but you've got to respect it.

[870] Yeah.

[871] You know, that's why that's...

[872] that, you know, War of Art book is so good.

[873] What's the War of Art?

[874] What's the book?

[875] Stephen Pressfield, he's been on the podcast a couple of times.

[876] He wrote this book called The War of Art. And it's all about resistance and how resistance keeps you from achieving your best possible self.

[877] It's like your ego and your fears and it's all combined and it creates procrastination.

[878] Yeah.

[879] And he gives you the tools in this book to try to be a perfection.

[880] to realize like a professional shows up and a professional works yeah like and this is what we do and if you put yourself on that schedule the muse will come to you and those ideas will enter into your mind so it's just putting in the work every single day you have to respect it you know you can't just think it's a gift you get whenever you want to go and access it bro that that's like a lesson i learned with this you know trying to write new stuff since i put out the last special i was telling you this it was It was like, it's like really hard.

[881] It's like really hard for me. And I hadn't experienced that before in stand -up.

[882] And, and, but I was just, I just didn't want to, like, do a different version of jokes I'd already done.

[883] Right.

[884] And I feel like sometimes that happens, like, it's not necessarily bad, like, but I've done it for sure.

[885] But I just really wanted the comedy to reflect what I'd gone through in life and how I'd change in life.

[886] And that was fucking hard, man, to like.

[887] Sit there, think, develop new ways to attack these things that I haven't experienced before, you know?

[888] Yeah, your stand -up is basically like a snapshot of who you are in that moment at that year.

[889] Like, if I looked at a special that I did from like 2009, a very different person, if I look at a special I did from 2016, I'm a very different person.

[890] And so, like, it's just this snapshot and then you have to kind of figure out who you are now.

[891] Yes.

[892] And all your new material has to be, who are you now?

[893] Yes.

[894] And if you're honest, you acknowledge who you are now.

[895] Yeah.

[896] And I think some people or some comics, they don't.

[897] And then they get into that world where they kind of almost look like they're doing an impression of themselves.

[898] Yes.

[899] And the audience can tell.

[900] A hundred percent.

[901] And maybe they don't know consciously what's happening.

[902] But they can feel it like.

[903] They don't feel like you're connecting with them.

[904] Yeah, they don't feel it because they're like, oh, you're doing this version.

[905] And I never, like I always valued, you know, Patricia's all you.

[906] kind of like my North Star and I always valued you like the authenticity like what is the thing like how do I fucking feel and yeah there was so much transition like I mean I did so many bits early on about like chicks being annoying and then like I got an amazing wife that I love and I'm like they ain't that annoyed you know what I mean like you get a coffee in the morning like there's always snacks in the pantry like it's not that annoyed right like so I'm like I have to be pure about what I'm going through and that was tricky man it was it like really feels good to be at a point where like okay now I've got some stuff that I'm like excited about that I'm gonna talk about and like and I feel hungry but for a while it was hard man what is your writing process like now I've become way more diligent so like before I would just go up and riff on stage and now it's harder for me to get up I make sure I do about I go three nights a week and I got to do at least four spots each of those nights so I can get to about 12, which I think is like a good amount of time to kind of let go.

[907] And then off nights, I have to also work.

[908] So I just have to talk.

[909] I either talk to myself.

[910] I'll call up one of my buddies and I'll be like, hey, what are you working on?

[911] Hey, let's go, just tell me what your things are.

[912] Then I'll tell ideas that I have and like, try to flesh out how I feel about it.

[913] Because I can't write the bit until I feel, know how I feel.

[914] And sometimes it takes me a little bit to feel.

[915] So your process is like just a lot of thinking about ideas.

[916] And talking.

[917] Talking to people about stuff.

[918] We have to just talk.

[919] Like getting, I think that's why I enjoy podcasting.

[920] It's like, it's getting to how I feel about a thing.

[921] And you say a bunch of things that you fucking, that are funny and absurd and crazy and salacious on the way.

[922] For sure.

[923] But what is my core feeling about this issue?

[924] Right.

[925] And once I'm at that core, then everything emanates from the core.

[926] But if I can't get to the core, I just have some misdirection that, like, I don't even believe in.

[927] Right.

[928] Once I get to the fucking, the meat and potatoes.

[929] it flows everything just kind of like yeah you find that zone you find that area where you're supposed to exist in yes yeah yeah i can write from it much easier i can riff from it much either because i feel like i'm being honest with the audience like every line is honest it might not be funny yet but you know i'm being honest you know that i'm telling you how i feel about this thing and i think that they're they're they'll attach themselves to that and then if i can catch you or I stumble across something, it can hit.

[930] But I need to know what I feel about it, and I can't write about things that I don't care.

[931] Like the idea of being like a, and God bless him, but like the late night writers where you just like, they throw you some shit and you got to write a joke about it.

[932] My brain doesn't work like that.

[933] That's like living off oatmeal for the rest of your life.

[934] That's like you can stay alive, Andrew.

[935] But you're going to eat plain oatmeal.

[936] There's some guys fucking listening right now.

[937] Plain oatmeal for the rest of your life.

[938] Yeah.

[939] That's what that is.

[940] Yeah, I got to care, Dale.

[941] I got a really fucking care.

[942] That's because you care about what you do, and that's why you're so funny.

[943] It's a, we all have to care about what we do.

[944] And you have to, I think everybody does it in different ways, you know?

[945] Yeah.

[946] I'm always interested in the writing process.

[947] Yeah.

[948] Why?

[949] What is yours?

[950] You just go, right?

[951] Like, you'll just sit in front of the laptop and just write, stream of conscious, right?

[952] I think that's important.

[953] I don't think it's necessary because some of the greats don't do it.

[954] but if I really if I was going to teach a class on creating stand -up I mean look it's not like I'm the best stand -up in the world so I'm not like I'm the best qualified to do this but if I was given this task to do that I would say you should do all those things like there's nothing there's nothing that keeps you from writing like why don't you write and if you've like you like to think about things and talk about things but what about what about sitting and talking to yourself about a thing and writing it and there's a very specific mindset that takes place for me when I'm in front of the keyboard and I'm writing an essay on something I can type so I don't have to look at the keys which is nice I don't type great but I type okay enough yeah and I type enough and so I can just zone in on the page and I'm thinking about every word much longer than it takes to type that word or rather it takes like it's like if I had to write something out yeah if you're writing out a word yes it's so much more time to write it out than it's just think about so now you're chewing on it while you're writing it yeah so as you're writing each individual word you're pausing in time yeah and you're like you're in a time lapse and you get to consider each and every possible way you would say something from that word while you're writing that word.

[955] Yeah.

[956] And there's a physical task of doing that with your keys and your fingers that makes you concentrate.

[957] Yes.

[958] Because it fires up your synapses and makes you think that you're doing this with your fingers.

[959] It's kind of exciting.

[960] Yes.

[961] Especially if you have a tactile keyboard.

[962] See, like, I use, I use a keyboard that has a lot of key.

[963] It's like a got out of a room.

[964] Yeah, yeah.

[965] I got, that's why I like, I work with a think pad.

[966] Yeah.

[967] Now, do you...

[968] Because they like clickety, clickety clicks, they feel it in your fingers.

[969] So it's this tactile thing, and then the words are up there, and I'm thinking about the words, and then other things come to me. Do you find that you, you speak differently when you write?

[970] Yes.

[971] Then when you talk to a person.

[972] Right.

[973] Definitely.

[974] Well, you definitely, it's not natural when you write.

[975] It's not clean.

[976] But what you do is you take these bullet points from these various things that you wrote out and just say them how you would say them.

[977] Say them how you would say them when you're right there.

[978] So it's like you can't rely on writing to create great jokes.

[979] But the ideas can come from that.

[980] It's a farm for ideas.

[981] That's what it is.

[982] I need to have that moment.

[983] For me it's not sitting down, but it's like, okay, there's a weird meditative state that I can get to if I'm running and I have a song that I know well enough where I can tap into my subconscious but not too well where the song bores me. Right.

[984] And I get into a weird state and sometimes when I'm just like running like I hate it and it's awful, whatever.

[985] And then sometimes I get into this state where I can like lock in and like create these other scenarios and I kind of like exist in these scenarios and I imagine this is what like the super elite runners probably can access this for 26 miles or something like that.

[986] Like I can't do that.

[987] And I can't tap in every time.

[988] But when I can tap into that state, I can create these, like, worlds that I exist in.

[989] And sometimes these lines come up, these ideas comes up, these curiosity comes up.

[990] There's, like, a part of my brain that now can flourish because other parts of my brain are accessed.

[991] So it, like, hits when you're breathing heavy, when you start sweating.

[992] It's like, my brain is occupied by, like, maintaining this pace, which is probably pretty fast, but not so fast where I can't concentrate.

[993] but that's occupied there and then another part of my brain is occupied by the music and sometimes I'll just replay the same song over and over again but there's a state right something happens and it's like I don't know what the fuck it is and I wish I could like lock in on it you know like and just exist in that for three hours a day or something but when I can thoughts become really clear and ideas become really clear and sometimes they're fucking shit and then sometimes they're like really interesting and I can replay these scenarios and think of like an interesting comeback or like this really self -deprecating thing that happened and it's just like I'll literally hop off the treadmill sweaty as fuck dripping all over my phone write the idea and then get back on but I don't know if that's a good strategy for doing it but these are the different scenarios to access that part of the brain that I almost feel like is always working like I don't know I always thought like comedy exists and then you just kind of find it I don't think I've created any comedy I think it's there and I just kind of like this is stupid but like you know like um with what is it the constellations it's like the stars are there but somebody looked at them and they're like ooh that kind of looks like a belt oh that kind of looks like a dipper right you know what I mean like yes I know what you're saying that's kind of what I think with a lot of these ideas it's like all the all the things are there and you're just kind of like connecting these little dots well I think the more you look at it like that the more it becomes available to you too because I think one of the one of the traps of the human mind is that when you get good at something your ego in and you think it's about you and you're just a special thing and you're better than everybody and there's a way that you could do it that nobody can fuck with and you know and there's a thing that it's like a normal thing that people do yeah and I think that that that invades your creative process yeah you create an expectation for yourself yeah I'll be honest that's why I took some time away it was like I just wanted to create like I don't let any friends come see me i don't let anybody come see me like when i'm in creation mode it's so weird because obviously the people will come out but like i just i i want some time for me yeah you know and i just i don't want to be there thinking like oh god is my wife going to be upset that i say this thing because you that can that that stops the tag that might be too far it might be too wild or it might be perfect or like okay i can find like i want to create and not have a fucking care in the world you know i don't know you said something to me yesterday it was like you don't want to be any more famous and it was like like it's a wild thing to say but i get it because it's like the more that comes with it maybe the more restriction you feel well you're more you're more susceptible to criticism you're more susceptible to people being upset with you you're more susceptible to people thinking that it's not fair because it's not fair there's no fair that's what's weird about life so the weirdest things like it doesn't necessarily make sense what becomes successful and what's not and who's making money and who's not it's not about how much effort you're putting in it's not about that like it's a weird game we're all playing yeah you know and the more successful you get and they're like would you want to be the richest guy in the world like what the fuck is that is he living any better than number 39 they leave 39 alone 39 is probably worth 5 billion that dude's chilling what do they say about that they don't say jack shit about that guy that guy's eating filet mignon and drinking domperion same jets yeah same hotels having a great last time great time same Instagram models exactly the same shit like with no scrutiny nothing's different same pure cocaine straight out of Columbia like they're doing the They're flaking it off with razor blades Like the purest fucking brick cocaine That the shit that fucking Peter Frampton used to snort the 70s Peter, I don't know if you did coke I'm sorry I should have said somebody else You did be a good reference You did He might have You did in the good reference Who definitely snorted Coke in the 70s?

[994] In the 70s fucking John Travolta Oh yeah he must have Off of some guys back Whoa!

[995] It was a massage!

[996] It was a massage.

[997] Snorting Coke and getting massages.

[998] I tried Coke once.

[999] Yeah?

[1000] And it lives up to the hype.

[1001] Does it?

[1002] Bro.

[1003] Have you ever done coke?

[1004] No, I have not.

[1005] The singer -songwriter's career of intense highs and devastating deceptions is explored in a revealing new memoir.

[1006] Peter Frampton, I was kept high.

[1007] If I needed cocaine, he made sure I had it.

[1008] Hey, bitch, that's your fault I don't like that I don't like that kind of talk I don't like that kind of talk I was kept high No, no no Unless they were holding you down And making you snorted off that Stripper's tits Then there's no fucking way That you could say That they did that to you, sir Yeah Right Yeah, I wonder if they got to look back And like they don't want to take responsibility for what they did Well, it must be awful to, like, have had everything ripped away from you because you became a cocaine addict or because you got into heroin.

[1009] Imagine just, like, you have a functional existence.

[1010] Everything's great.

[1011] You're doing a thing, whether it's rock and moral music or whatever it is, and then all of a sudden things start going well.

[1012] You're doing shows, and you just like to get high, and you're just getting high a lot.

[1013] And you're just like doing show, like, I need a bump before I go up.

[1014] And the next thing you know, you're getting high every night.

[1015] And you're just wrecked.

[1016] And your immune system is wrecked.

[1017] And your body's wrecked.

[1018] And you're always like implementing chemicals.

[1019] It's always alcohol to sleep and maybe ambient and cocaine to wake up.

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] You know, you're living three, four years to every one year.

[1022] Every one year, you've got three or four years of damage because you're going so hard.

[1023] and then you know you don't you don't want to think it was just you and it's not just you because it's addictive it's like a real it's a problem it's like saying telling someone they have the flu like well you should be sick like okay that's not helping them yeah they're addicted they're like physically addicted to coke and we want to categorize that as like being a mental weakness or we want to categorize that as being you're totally helpless and that the addiction has overwhelmed you I suspect it's a combination of the two things.

[1024] I suspect that's why there's such polarizing camps between the idea that it's not your fault at all and it's 100 % your fault.

[1025] And you need to fucking just be stronger.

[1026] It's also the hardest thing to understand if you've never done it.

[1027] Like all these people that have no empathy for the people that get caught up in addiction have just probably never tried heroin.

[1028] Yeah, they never tried it.

[1029] They don't know what they're talking about.

[1030] I bet it's amazing.

[1031] Have you ever tried heroin?

[1032] No, I haven't, but when I had a knee operation, they had this morphine drip.

[1033] Crazy.

[1034] Yeah, I've been told that this is not correct by someone, but I don't know if that's true.

[1035] They said when I was in the operation, so I got an ACL reconstruction in 1993 or some shit.

[1036] The old surgery.

[1037] Bro.

[1038] They open you up like a fish.

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] And they take a piece of your shin bone and a piece of your kneecap and a strip of your, your, you know, Patella tendon and then they open you up and then fucking screw it in place and that's your new ACL it's actually stronger than the original ACL but you don't have the same functionality like the new ACL surgeries are incredible these guys are back after six months yeah the new ACL surgeries most of what they're doing is well I did both I did a cadaver graft on my right knee what's that the cadaver graph they take a dead dudes Achilles heel is Achilles tendon, which is much stronger and thicker than the tendon that's general, the real ACL, the...

[1041] And they make that your ACL?

[1042] Yeah, they turn that into your ACL.

[1043] Interesting.

[1044] Yeah, and that was only six months.

[1045] That was six months, and then I was back, like, basically 100%.

[1046] That was really good.

[1047] Because that one, like, I was walking without a cane in, like, five days.

[1048] After an ACL surgery.

[1049] Yeah, it was crazy.

[1050] It was so much less invasive.

[1051] that one to get the cadaver one.

[1052] The other one is so invasive because they have to cut you.

[1053] It's a big slice.

[1054] They have to open you up and screw it hidden and screw it in and then check to see if it's good.

[1055] But it is your tendon that they're cutting.

[1056] But the cadaver one, what happens is it becomes a scaffolding and your body proliferates the scaffolding of the dead dude's heel.

[1057] What does that mean?

[1058] It starts to eat it up or something?

[1059] No, it changes it.

[1060] It overcomes it with its own cells.

[1061] So originally, all it is is like a scaffolding for your body to grow that tendon back.

[1062] Oh, that's the purpose of it.

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] What your body is doing is you're like if they take a, I'm sure if you're a doctor out there, I'm fucking this up.

[1065] So I'm sorry.

[1066] We're just comedians, by the way, just to remind it.

[1067] They take the Achilles tendon and then they screw it into the bone.

[1068] on the top and the bottom.

[1069] So it becomes your new ACL.

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] But it's not really that stable.

[1072] Right.

[1073] Because it's a dead guy shit.

[1074] So your body has to use it as a scaffolding.

[1075] Starts to build its own version of it.

[1076] And build its own tissue over this.

[1077] Amazing.

[1078] And then within six months, that process has happened.

[1079] Amazing.

[1080] And then you have a real, like, solid ACL that's way stronger.

[1081] I think it's 150 % stronger than a regular ACL.

[1082] Have you ever, for, gotten like your wife's birthday or anything no i'm pretty good with that but i have a iphone i'm i guess i'm like you have this incredible retention so if i was your wife and you forgot my birthday i would be because you remember like you were saying vitamins and minerals and all this shit last night like david lucas asked you about something and you just started like rifling off so i wonder if you have like a higher expectation to remember things No, generally speaking, because I'm only good at remembering things I'm interested in.

[1083] Babe, your birthday's not one of those things.

[1084] If I, I'll forget my own birthday.

[1085] If I, like, just am not tuned into something, it's not consistent.

[1086] Like, my memory is very consistent for things that are, like, a crazy moment.

[1087] Like, if something wild happens, I just have, like, a snapshot of it.

[1088] It's very weird.

[1089] when people tell me something that's fascinating it becomes embedded like if I'm talking to Graham Hancock or Randallson they tell me they blow my mind with some shit if I talk to like you know physicists who like intrigued me with these theories about everything but if someone's just talking me about some fucking stupid thing that we might do next week I forget about it immediately gone doesn't matter unless it's a real thing like tell me when it's a real thing Yeah.

[1090] Because you know how people are.

[1091] People are flaky.

[1092] I don't remember shit.

[1093] Like, you said you were going to go.

[1094] I go.

[1095] I don't want to fucking remember that.

[1096] Like, how do you not remember that?

[1097] Because it's just we're going to go to dinner.

[1098] It's not like, you know, how does the Hadron collider create the Higgs -Bossom particle.

[1099] Yeah, yeah.

[1100] Most people would be like, yeah, dinner's easier to remember.

[1101] Yeah.

[1102] And you'd be like, well, yeah, they just throw it's in fucking loose earn.

[1103] You only have so much room.

[1104] That's what it is.

[1105] It's not even that people are stupid.

[1106] it's like people only like when you think of a person that's stupid a lot of times stupid people are good at things so why is he good at that thing but not good at things that prove you're smart because oftentimes it's like what are you concentrating on like if you're concentrating on a very particular thing that's your and you suck at it well then you might be dumb but if you're if someone is if you're trying to concentrate on all things you're going to be stupid at something I thought about that as I got older and I'm like am I just taking in more meaningless bullshit so it's harder for me to remember because it's couch with all this other nonsense that I'm taking in all day yeah like how many things can you take in in a day how many like good memories can you make in a day or is there another way that you have to like find a way to imprint those memories you know my my pops is his short -term memory is pretty much gone but like Like, with repetition, things start to lock in in his long -term memory.

[1107] And it was like, it was a fascinating thing for him to, like, remember my wife.

[1108] Like, first few times I had to, like, introduce her and everything like that.

[1109] And then eventually he's like, how's everything with Emma?

[1110] And I was like, what the fuck?

[1111] Like, how does memory work if, yeah, like, something transferred.

[1112] Like, he can get around the city fine.

[1113] He can take the subway.

[1114] He can do all these things.

[1115] And it's like, I guess he has what's called MCI.

[1116] My mild cognitive impairment, I think it's called it.

[1117] Sometimes that leads into Alzheimer, sometimes it doesn't, but basically is absolutely of your short -term memory.

[1118] Yeah, it's tricky.

[1119] And then you think about it with yourself, like, how is that, you know, could that happen to you?

[1120] I remember times where I...

[1121] What's the cause of it?

[1122] It's just genetic?

[1123] It might be genetic.

[1124] You know, who knows?

[1125] I think, I think, you know, we'll look into a lot of, like, these drugs that people have taken for depression and other things.

[1126] and maybe, who knows, in 50 years from now, we'll go, wow, that had some other side effects that could be bad.

[1127] Isn't it fascinating if you were objective about this and you looked at human beings?

[1128] You would look at human beings.

[1129] I know we think of ourselves as very different than any other system because we're humans.

[1130] We don't even really think of ourselves as being a part of wildlife, right?

[1131] We call wildlife, and we call, you know, we have life.

[1132] We're not wild.

[1133] Yeah, we have...

[1134] Go to Florida.

[1135] Yeah, there's us, and then there's wildlife.

[1136] It's very interesting.

[1137] Yeah.

[1138] But human beings are very similar to cars.

[1139] We're very similar to, if you looked at the amount of automobiles that exist, there's automobiles that are notoriously durable and reliable.

[1140] There's like Toyota Land Cruisers.

[1141] Yeah, Corolla.

[1142] Yeah, bro, you get a Toyota.

[1143] That motherfucker's never going to break.

[1144] Dude, we had one as a kid.

[1145] Every Toyota I've ever had just laugh.

[1146] and last and last They're so durable Their goal A friend of mine was just telling me this Oh Phil was telling me this That their goal is to To last for 30 years In a third world country Like don't fucking Nobody builds a car like that And it's true because when you see What the Taliban uses Yes Land cruisers Yeah And then there's range rovers You get 5, 10 And then there's You know a 1990 Chevy Malibu How long does that last?

[1147] It is a piece of shit It is yeah And that's the cop car right It's a piece of shit I think the cop car was the Impala Oh the Impala Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Why is it like But then there's like a 2023 Corvette You're like damn That's a great car yeah It's like there's different kinds of cars But is that a choice And there's different kinds Nah No I mean by the by the manufacturer Are they going like If we make a car that's good for 30 years people will keep it for 30 years.

[1148] If we make a car that's good for 10, they re -up after 10.

[1149] It's a good question.

[1150] Like, why did they do it the way they did it, right?

[1151] Because sensibly, like, a car from two...

[1152] I have a car that I love that's from 2007.

[1153] It's almost 20 years old.

[1154] Like, you would think that you would need to get another car to enjoy, but you really don't.

[1155] Like, are you a fucking race car driver?

[1156] Like, what are you doing?

[1157] Why are you driving to go so fast?

[1158] Are you just enjoying what a car feels like to drive?

[1159] That's what you should be doing.

[1160] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1161] So it's like, why does everybody need to get new ones all the time?

[1162] Well, we're kind of programmed to think that if you're successful, that that's what you do.

[1163] You know, if you're successful, you don't roll around a 2008 Mercedes.

[1164] What is that piece of shit?

[1165] Yeah, but now.

[1166] What are the stupid fucking headlights and actual key to start the engine?

[1167] Actual key.

[1168] God forbid.

[1169] Yeah, what the fuck are you doing?

[1170] You're turning the key to start the engine?

[1171] what are you a peasant right it's like what is it give it a second let it warm up fucking stupid asshole press the button get a real car if you're doing well you get a real car and it's a trap with players though that's the thing like there are people that don't care about cars and getting a car to impress other people when you don't care about cars is such a waste of money right but if you love the cars yeah then spend your money have some fun yeah there's a reason why like a range rover costs a hundred and fucking ninety thousand dollars or whatever it is how much those cost yeah around there depending what it is because when you drive them they're awesome yeah a rented one in salt lake city yeah yeah it's like a a giant tank of opulence yeah yeah it is beautiful you feel like the world's okay yeah the world's okay yeah like every bump is kind of smooth every the sound system's amazing, Bluetooth synced up like that, listen to my tunes, just driving around Park City.

[1172] But we'll break down.

[1173] Perhaps.

[1174] It perhaps won't be as robust as the land cruiser.

[1175] Or as resilient as a Toyota.

[1176] Yeah.

[1177] But you're not paying for resilience.

[1178] That's the thing.

[1179] It's like if you're getting a Rangerover, stop acting like this is your 30 -year car.

[1180] Like you're choosing to buy a $200 ,000 SUV because you're not going to be driving.

[1181] along the fucking pyramids in it, right?

[1182] Like, let's be honest about what's going on here.

[1183] You're in stopping go traffic, like, it's gonna break down.

[1184] You're in Beverly Hills.

[1185] What do you expect this going on here?

[1186] Tim Dillon has one of those things.

[1187] He got the range.

[1188] Yeah.

[1189] He got a few nice cars.

[1190] Tim Dillon lives like a baller.

[1191] He really does.

[1192] I talk about it.

[1193] I talked to him.

[1194] What do you say?

[1195] I encourage him to spend his money.

[1196] Spend that money, bro.

[1197] He earns it.

[1198] I try to tell all of them, like, let's go.

[1199] Let's fucking go.

[1200] Wait, why?

[1201] Okay, that's interesting.

[1202] Why do you tell them to spend?

[1203] Because I don't like that, like that.

[1204] Save it all up, famine mindset.

[1205] Did you have that ever?

[1206] Because you didn't come from crazy money.

[1207] No, I did not have a spend -what -you -have mindset until I started making money.

[1208] But when I started making money, I shifted a click, son.

[1209] Immediately switched it.

[1210] My manager thought I had a gambling problem.

[1211] Was he right?

[1212] No, no, I wasn't gambling at all.

[1213] I was eating lobster every night.

[1214] Your business manager called you and said that's an issue.

[1215] What are you doing with all your money?

[1216] I'm like, I'm living like a king.

[1217] When did you decide?

[1218] I've been poor since I was a little kid.

[1219] So you could handle being poor?

[1220] Poor is not scared.

[1221] Oh, I'm not scared.

[1222] I wasn't scared of being poor.

[1223] That's the most liberating shit.

[1224] I'm eating lobster, son.

[1225] I'm scared of not live in life.

[1226] That's the fear I think a lot of people don't get.

[1227] Where it's just like, you've been poor, you're cool with being poor.

[1228] Yeah.

[1229] You're not afraid of that because you knew how to thrive within that.

[1230] You knew how to manage that.

[1231] You're afraid of having all this and not enjoying it in this one life you have.

[1232] Well, I think for sure when I first started getting money, I didn't think it was going to last Like nothing it ever lasted before Like why would I think that this was going to like There was no stability in it It's like Why would I think that this was going to like Keep happening I was going to get on television Like who the fuck gets on TV You know so I was like I'm spending this fucking money Like I'm going to have some fun But I just eat lobsters I bought a I bought a Volkswagen I got like a 1990 That car that I showed you last night The Volkswagen Dorado That I would bump Cool G -Rour rap in?

[1233] No, you showed me Cool Grap, you didn't show me the car.

[1234] Yeah, oh, it was Derek then.

[1235] I was telling him, like, I'm such a cool Grap fan, because when I was driving the gigs in the 1990s, it was like really the best sound system I ever had in a car.

[1236] I had, like, a nice sound system, it was like a blout -punkked.

[1237] It was kind of had a handle.

[1238] You pull it out when you leave the car, so no one steals it.

[1239] Remember that one?

[1240] The radio?

[1241] The radio Yeah, of course.

[1242] The radio comes out like a fucking laptop.

[1243] explaining this to my guys, my young guys who don't understand that the radio used to come out of the car, and their reaction was this, they would go, hold on.

[1244] They go, they go, people would steal the radio?

[1245] Bro, that was the whole thing, and they would sell them too.

[1246] Yeah, the radio.

[1247] Yeah.

[1248] So you would get it, so it would come out on a slider.

[1249] Yeah.

[1250] Remember that?

[1251] Yeah.

[1252] You'd hold it up like a handbag.

[1253] Yeah, there was like a little hook that you'd be walking around.

[1254] The dudes would be walking around with their fucking blowpunk at the bar.

[1255] People would put a little sign on their car.

[1256] Yeah, please don't break in my window.

[1257] Radio's not in the car.

[1258] Yeah.

[1259] Wow, people were stealing radios.

[1260] That all went away.

[1261] Once it became like an integrated computer system with Apple CarPlay and Android play and all that.

[1262] And once just having iPad got or iPod got cheap, like just having music on you, it was on your phone.

[1263] Yeah.

[1264] People don't give Steve Jobs enough credit for that.

[1265] Like he really stopped a lot of like car theft.

[1266] Like breaking into cars?

[1267] Probably.

[1268] Yeah.

[1269] when the ability to get a song like what we're doing last night dude like the ability to get a song like literally instantaneously and just like using your thumbs and bam you blasting 90s hip hop last night bro that's my shit I had no clue that you like 90s hip hop that's my shit I remember going I was like bro you might like big L like and I'm saying it as if like you don't know who this guy is and you're like oh yeah lifestyles of the poor and dangerous love that love that yeah I got a whole playlist we Bigel.

[1270] Yeah, I have a Bigel playlist.

[1271] Bigel was, boy, you talk about a tragedy.

[1272] That guy was snatched too soon.

[1273] He was really talented.

[1274] It was, it was, it was, I believe, I could be wrong, his brother was the guy who was really involved.

[1275] Yeah.

[1276] I remember that time in New York when Bigel was pop and I was probably in like elementary or middle and dude, Bigel like, Bigel had like, he was rapping in like a multi -syllic way.

[1277] and he had these like hilariously funny punchlines he had this one thing he goes uh he goes ask bevis i get nothing but hit and like it was just like he had like he goes oh god he's i'm so ahead of my time my parents haven't even met yet like he had like kind of punch lines in a rap like it was funny like there were funny lines and i remember i remember like seeing i'm hearing this dude I didn't even know what to look like.

[1278] That's how detached we were, right?

[1279] If you didn't have a music video out, you're just hearing this guy's bars.

[1280] And it was such a cool time in New York where your friend could put you on to music and there would be no way where you could find out about music without your friend putting you on.

[1281] If you weren't on MTV or like the box or whatever the hell the channel was, like your buddy had to say you need to listen to this and then play a cassette or CD of that person.

[1282] Everything was word of mouth.

[1283] It was almost like there was more justice because there wasn't a way where you could influence, people into listening to a track.

[1284] Like, yeah, I guess for sure, like top 100, whatever, on the radio.

[1285] But if it wasn't on the radio, indie shit was literally, I'm going to tell you about this guy you need to hear about.

[1286] And then you're going to go to Tower Records, and you're going to buy that fucking album.

[1287] Well, dudes would try to sell their cassettes on the streets in New York.

[1288] They still do that shit, and it's like, fam, nobody is a CD player.

[1289] You need to chill out, like, step it up.

[1290] Give me a link.

[1291] Do they even make cars with CD players anymore?

[1292] No, that's done.

[1293] But they just do that because, like, Swedish people.

[1294] How quick did that change?

[1295] I mean...

[1296] That changed so quick.

[1297] Dude, I remember...

[1298] That changed so quick.

[1299] Yeah, with the...

[1300] What is it called?

[1301] C...

[1302] what is it?

[1303] What are those players?

[1304] C .3...

[1305] CP4 players or something shit?

[1306] MP3.

[1307] MP3.

[1308] Bro!

[1309] I mean, it's just...

[1310] I wonder if we're living in the craziest change.

[1311] Like, what can you...

[1312] What can you compare our change with the internet to?

[1313] Is it industrial revolution?

[1314] Like, what...

[1315] What piece of technology changed society in the way that the internet has changed us in our lifetime?

[1316] I don't think there's anything that's comparable because I think everything is kind of exponential.

[1317] I think everything that gets invented builds on other things that get invented, more things get invented because of it.

[1318] And then it reaches this crazy point where we're at now where you have this computer program that seems to be the most intelligent being that's ever existed.

[1319] and seems to be able to answer questions about anything.

[1320] So then the question becomes, when does it have questions of its own?

[1321] That's the real question.

[1322] When does this thing just decide, like, what are you guys doing?

[1323] What are you doing?

[1324] This fucking culture you have is nonsense.

[1325] You have a dead man and a dunce running the greatest military the world has ever known.

[1326] And everybody just like dances around and pretends everything's fine.

[1327] and as long as we have a guy with a beard wearing a dress.

[1328] Bro, imagine ChatGPT came out during COVID and was like, I think most people would be all right.

[1329] Yeah.

[1330] Like, imagine AI steps in and interferes with narrative and agenda.

[1331] Yeah.

[1332] Ooh, that's dangerous.

[1333] It's very dangerous because it's already doing it.

[1334] There's questions that you ask ChatGPT to do, and it'll do it.

[1335] like it'll mock a bunch of different religious figures but it will not mock Muhammad.

[1336] Because the Chatsy BT knows.

[1337] They pull up.

[1338] ChatGBTBT wouldn't write a joke in the style of Shane Gillis.

[1339] No. It said yeah it didn't want to It's something about some of his materials was offensive or something like that.

[1340] I mean it's basically has a very non -newanced and non -comprehensive view.

[1341] It is cool.

[1342] to see what's happening with Shane and the success that Shane is having.

[1343] It's like...

[1344] Bro, he's undeniable.

[1345] There's justice, man. He's undeniable.

[1346] He's so good.

[1347] However good he was back then when he'd S &L got canceled him and he he's on another level now.

[1348] He's on another level.

[1349] It's one of those things that's like that's why I love the internet.

[1350] That's why I mean we could talk about TikTok and we could talk about all these other things but there are these amazing success stories that come from it.

[1351] And they make me have a positive attitude towards it.

[1352] Yeah.

[1353] You know?

[1354] Because, yeah, without an outlet for him to express himself and, like, just do great comedy and just be hilarious.

[1355] Right.

[1356] People just fall in line with the narrative that existed.

[1357] Imagine if we're talking about a time, well, obviously this kind of came about because of podcast, right?

[1358] So it's hard to imagine that.

[1359] But if it was less access.

[1360] say if podcasts weren't the way they are now.

[1361] Yeah.

[1362] There could be a moment where that's the end of his life.

[1363] Isn't that crazy?

[1364] Yeah.

[1365] This is like 1985 and they put that all over the news and it was this thing.

[1366] Look at Lenny.

[1367] Yeah.

[1368] What happened with Lenny?

[1369] Like a narrative got set in place with Lenny.

[1370] And I don't think Lenny in the end of his life, if I'm not mistaken, like was living lavish with all this money.

[1371] No. It was a difficult...

[1372] He's blown all his money on his legal fees.

[1373] And it was a different world because the money that he would get would just be from live gigs.

[1374] And I don't think they did, like, big arenas, right?

[1375] So it's like, you know, he's traveling a lot and he's making some money, but he's also exorbitant legal costs.

[1376] He would go on stage with the transcripts of, you ever seen the videos of him going on stage?

[1377] And reading what happened in the court?

[1378] He would read the trial transcripts on stage.

[1379] And then the lawyer says, and he would go into his thing, and it wasn't funny at all.

[1380] Oh, it's not funny.

[1381] At all.

[1382] There was nothing funny about it.

[1383] It was people were, they were so boring.

[1384] They didn't know what to do He was so obsessed with his case That he thought he could just talk about his case In front of everybody and be interesting I've thought about this recently About like the importance of having like a comedic North Star And like a version of comedy that you think is the highest version that exists And following that Yeah I think if you don't have that You succumb to the will of the audience And that can be dangerous because your confidence is dependent on them and not the version of art you think is the greatest.

[1385] And I just wonder, like, early on, like, did you have a guy who was like, this is the highest form of the art?

[1386] This is the North Star.

[1387] I like what you're saying.

[1388] I do.

[1389] I think there's probably multiple North Stars, though, always.

[1390] because there's certain styles that always interested me in a different way.

[1391] Like, I would decide that one guy was the funniest guy, and then I'd see someone that was totally different.

[1392] And I'd be like, oh, my God, he's so good.

[1393] Maybe he's the best guy.

[1394] Holy shit.

[1395] You know, it'd be like Sam Kinnison or it'd be Richard Jenny or, you know, when you think about North Stars and, you know, I think the idea is a great idea.

[1396] Yeah.

[1397] The highest expression, but I don't necessarily think there's just one.

[1398] I think it's really a community thing.

[1399] And I think if you're around a bunch of guys like Attell or Shane Gillis or you or, you know, if you're around these Ari Shafirs and fucking Mark Normans, if you're around these guys, oh, Tim Dillon, and if you're around those guys all the time, like, they're fucking murdering.

[1400] Yeah.

[1401] They're going up and slaying.

[1402] and you're all like vibing off each other and you're all having fun and you go up together it's like I think when comics see that like if you're say if you're a comic that's starting out and you see like the way we roll I think you'll see like if you just be true to the art just true to the thing I just yeah I get concerned when people because I think that a lot of times I'm sure this is in every industry but like comedics are drawn to like what is successful right so they're like okay if interviewing people in the street is successful i'll try that or if podcasting is successful i'll try that or if posting clips is successful i'll try that or if this version is and that's a normal thing but i think it's important like within that to have like a version that you think is the most pure even if other people think you're wrong like there are people who like certain types of comedy that are different than the version i love yeah but i had a version that i thought was the best and as long as like i was being true to them that I was happy with what I did.

[1403] I was competing with that.

[1404] Yeah.

[1405] Not competing with, like, let's say somebody went up and they did like a bunch of like really woke jokes and they got fucking claps and applause, whatever.

[1406] I could be fine not doing that because I was like, I know what the best is.

[1407] Now, I might be wrong in other people's minds.

[1408] I don't give a fuck.

[1409] But I had an idea.

[1410] And that allowed me to like do the comedy that I did in a time.

[1411] I mean, you remember when it was like you couldn't do offensive jokes.

[1412] I mean, you were doing it.

[1413] There was a few of us doing it, but a lot of people were like, okay, I need to get on Comedy Central or I need to do whatever.

[1414] And I was like, why was I able to do that?

[1415] And I was like, oh, well, I just saw a version that I thought was the best and I was like, how can I honor that?

[1416] Because I think that's the best version, despite the fact that audience was were pissed or didn't like it or doing whatever.

[1417] And I don't know.

[1418] I just feel like that's important to have an almost like arrogance about the version of comedy that you love.

[1419] And there could be multiple versions, don't get me wrong.

[1420] Yeah.

[1421] But like, I think that's a healthy thing to have as you come up doing comedy.

[1422] Because it will stop you from, like, mimicking a thing that's successful just because you want success.

[1423] Right, right, right, right.

[1424] It will instill the purity.

[1425] Like, I don't see, I don't see you going, oh, well, this is trendy.

[1426] I'll try that.

[1427] Right?

[1428] Right.

[1429] And why is that?

[1430] Because you had a fucking idea of what was good.

[1431] Yeah, well, also, just, I don't understand that.

[1432] like when things are trendy I'm like why like what is it like what are you guys doing why do you guys doing what everybody else is doing why your pants ripped why your pants ripped you buying pants that are ripped on purpose the fuck are you doing look at me look at me no no no stop it you're so interesting with your ripped pants that got your pants look destroyed fuck are we doing what are we doing I'm not going on that that's what I think is important to have that fucking unbelievable almost like religious arrogance about a version of comedy and I don't care if it's one -liners I don't care if it's stories I don't care what it is but I think allowing yourself to do that will make the most pure authentic comedy for you I think so I think so and that's what I want to see I think you also have to be flexible you also have to like not be committed to like the way you're doing it and just be open because sometimes it's one of the best ways to create new jokes sometimes like a whole new way of looking at things comes about if you're not like committed to like one particular mindset not ideology but form of like for me it was always like I saw people that were really authentic and I really love that And I was like, oh, that guy's being, like, really authentic.

[1433] And I didn't feel like he's lying to me. I didn't think, I feel like I could kind of trust him.

[1434] And I feel like he was talking in a way that he would talk to me if he was offstage.

[1435] Yeah.

[1436] And, like, I don't know.

[1437] It's an art form.

[1438] It is.

[1439] It's an art form to doing that.

[1440] That's what's so fascinating about this whole thing.

[1441] There really is an art form to doing that.

[1442] You were so lucky we were existing in a time where people value it.

[1443] Because there's been, like, bubbles and were you around when it popped I was I came onto the scene I did my first open mic in 1988 so that 1988 was the bubble was kind of already popping yeah but there was still a lot of work what happened was something happened something happened in the 1980s where people could just talk like a comedian yeah yeah there was they didn't have any punchlines and you know and Some of these guys got pretty far.

[1444] There's this one guy, I don't want to mention his name, but I would bring comedians around.

[1445] To watch it?

[1446] I want you to watch this.

[1447] I want you to watch this because there is nothing there.

[1448] He's not saying anything.

[1449] It's fucking 100 % nonsense, but he talks like a comedian.

[1450] And it was so mundane.

[1451] His points were so boring.

[1452] And I took a couple of comics.

[1453] We're sitting in the back of the laugh factory.

[1454] I go, I just want you to watch this guy.

[1455] Just watch this guy.

[1456] And they're like, holy shit.

[1457] I go, yeah, yeah.

[1458] You could do that in the 80s.

[1459] And then this guy was like surviving in the early 90s.

[1460] And then it just like one of those skeletons that turns into dust when they gets like a vampire.

[1461] When the sun comes out.

[1462] That's what it's like, dude, he just went away.

[1463] But I remember he was like fucking arrogant.

[1464] Like with these arrogant weirdos who would like wear suits.

[1465] And he would do this like really clean.

[1466] comedy that's like clunky boring but he thought it was the best comedy and he thought that we were you know talking about silly things using bad words but there was like a there was a time where people were so excited to see comedy the all you had to do is sound like a comedian and talk about things comedians talked about and you could make a living so this is this is I don't know this is why I'm like concerned about now it's like what do we do to uphold the standard?

[1467] What do we...

[1468] Because we're in a bubble.

[1469] And I've seen hot girls doing comedy.

[1470] Good.

[1471] Let them do comedy.

[1472] I hope they're good.

[1473] I hope they're good, too.

[1474] It's not a bubble.

[1475] It's not a bubble.

[1476] It's live comedy is the best way to see comedy.

[1477] And just by nature of the fucking sheer numbers of people, there can't be a bubble.

[1478] No, I'm not talking about bubble because I think that, like, being funny is social currency now with, like, having a funny caption.

[1479] or a funny meme or a funny post I think people really value funny now I think that's why it's here and then like we're the funniest people so obviously there's gonna be a value for us right but I do think that like more people will want to try and I want I wish everybody tried stand -up so they knew what it was but I do think that it's important that like what we were saying earlier about like a club or a scene like how do we hold that what is the standard and how do we maintain that standard because maintaining that standard is what maintains that scene and maintains that expectation even for the audience.

[1480] Yeah.

[1481] You know?

[1482] And yeah, I don't know.

[1483] I'm curious.

[1484] Like, what do you think about that?

[1485] Well, it's an individual's choice.

[1486] And then it's a community's choice in terms of like, you know, if like, if you're in a group of comics and one person starts doing something that sucks or they start doing something that, like, really bums out the audience.

[1487] Or maybe they're doing a premise that's not that a. original.

[1488] Like, if that happens, that is a giant problem.

[1489] That is like, that's like a bunch of a bunch of cells encountering a virus.

[1490] That's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[1491] You can't let that virus proliferate.

[1492] What is that?

[1493] What is that?

[1494] And occasionally, people will go crazy.

[1495] This is also part of the problem of being a comedian.

[1496] Like, what percentage of people stay sane from birth to death it's not a hundred it's not a hundred so sometimes people go crazy and these people were amongst you before they were crazy and then they're deep in and now now all of sudden you got a fucking complete lunatic that's in your cycle of friends that thinks that the cia is writing jokes for him and that they're ruining his punch lines like oh no what do i do like i've been friends with guys and saw them go insane like what do you do about that yeah You got to babysit that guy all day?

[1497] Can you bring that guy back?

[1498] You might kill him while you're trying.

[1499] Really?

[1500] Yeah.

[1501] You might give him like a fucking coffee cup filled with acid.

[1502] Mushrooms.

[1503] Mushrooms heals all.

[1504] Let's let mushrooms heal all.

[1505] Yeah.

[1506] I get into some mushrooms.

[1507] I mean, maybe, I don't know.

[1508] I mean, maybe people go crazy and they come back.

[1509] I'm sure if they go crazy, they, I mean, I know people have come back from mental illness before it's not like it's insurmountable but it depends upon the case right yeah i don't know we're just in this like weird time right now we're like i think it's good because i remember the scrutiny of doing like edgy jokes before and i don't feel like that exists now i think we blew that shit out i think we did i think we blew that shit out i think it's also the sheer numbers of people that listen to our podcast it's like hey we're not alone yeah yeah if the majority likes it it wins right Yeah, we're not alone.

[1510] You guys are wrong.

[1511] Yeah.

[1512] Like, you're trapped in this ideology that you think jokes have to reflect your actual feelings about things.

[1513] Like, that's not the game we're playing.

[1514] They reflect the things that we feel that are fucked up.

[1515] Yeah.

[1516] That's it.

[1517] We're just trying, and we're trying to be really funny.

[1518] Bro.

[1519] Like, you're missing the point.

[1520] And if you're attacking us, that's, bro.

[1521] I, having to explain to Yom -Me Park, the joke that has you.

[1522] Bro, bro, bro.

[1523] Let me just tell everybody.

[1524] Let me tell everybody when Andrew and I, like, I will text him occasionally.

[1525] Yonmi, please, I apologize.

[1526] You're a lovely woman.

[1527] I really enjoy talking to you.

[1528] This is not disrespectful.

[1529] Not disrespectful at all, but I would text him photos of Yonemi Park and then a photo of a weightlifter.

[1530] The fucking emoji.

[1531] The weightlifter emoji, the heavies.

[1532] So Yonle's Come out on the podcast I know But I had to have a combo with her before I had to tell her about the heavies Right I didn't even explain it right The first time she was on my podcast I was talking to Andrew about it But he was like Yo she got the heavies So What I said What I said was We're talking about a woman Who survived Who survived North Korea She escaped North Korea When she was 13 She tells this horrific story Horrific story of her journey To get to get to America And then she's like, yo, she got the heavy I said on the pod As a joke, I go, bro, I go, I go, I go, I go I go, I go, I go, I go, bro, I was about to start feeding my wife rats Right?

[1533] Like, right?

[1534] So as a joke So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, So yo me's coming on the pod, right?

[1535] and I go I can't let her come on the pot without knowing the joke I feel bad like I want her to be inside right so I called her and there's a phone combo of me trying to explain to yon me what the heavies means so I go oh my god hey like I'm so grateful that you're coming on I just want you to know something so you're inside on the joke here I don't want anything to be making fun of you I just want you to be inside but like the head have you seen like people putting like the weight lift emoji underneath your inside And she goes, she's so sweet.

[1536] She goes, she goes, she goes, she says, yeah, I thought that, um, they thought I was getting fat.

[1537] She thought that they were saying that she was fat the whole time.

[1538] What?

[1539] And she's coming from this country where they're not feeding her at all.

[1540] And finally she's in a place where she can eat food and she's getting fucking fat.

[1541] Oh my God.

[1542] Imagine being her and think, you've met her.

[1543] She's so frail.

[1544] She's so tiny.

[1545] Not all.

[1546] Imagine thinking that she's fat.

[1547] Bro, so I go, no, no, no, no, it's not that.

[1548] And I'm stuttering.

[1549] I'm like the most uncomfortable.

[1550] Oh, I explained it.

[1551] Is it on video?

[1552] Yes, I have video.

[1553] I'll show you.

[1554] And it's, I go, I just, well, you know how you're, you have kind of like sneaky fat tits?

[1555] And I just, I just think.

[1556] I just think you'll see.

[1557] I'll show you.

[1558] Look at that.

[1559] That's crazy.

[1560] Yeah, that's crazy.

[1561] That's crazy.

[1562] Lovely lady.

[1563] The amazing lady.

[1564] So I go, I go, but we were just, you know, talking about that.

[1565] We call those the heavies and it's just like a funny inside joke.

[1566] And she goes, oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's great.

[1567] That's awesome.

[1568] That's so funny.

[1569] That's so funny.

[1570] Blah, blah.

[1571] She thinks it's hilarious.

[1572] And then comes in the pod and we joke around it.

[1573] And when we were joking around with her, she said an interesting thing.

[1574] She goes, wow, I've never had anybody make fun of me to my face.

[1575] And then she goes, freedom is amazing.

[1576] Whoa.

[1577] And it was a cool thing.

[1578] Like, she was with her story, nobody makes fun of her.

[1579] Nobody teases.

[1580] We weren't making fun of her story.

[1581] We're just pressing balls and teasing.

[1582] But she had never, like, had that happen, at least on camera.

[1583] And even that teasing is about an attractive attribute.

[1584] We were so, we wanted to make sure she was, I mean, we literally have the weight, the There's a picture There's a picture Where she's whole Oh my God That's so ridiculous Her holding on that thing That says A thousand pounds But that's Listen Is this too inside?

[1585] Because you and I We go back and forth This is culture now Bro It's Dude we see people Post randomly That have no clue We've spoken about it Just randomly randomly call big boobs The heavies They have no clue That this happened here Did you invent that term the heavies?

[1586] I don't know.

[1587] I just, I just call it the heavies.

[1588] But that was that like the first time you said it when you saw her?

[1589] Probably what I said to you.

[1590] Oh my God.

[1591] Yeah, yeah.

[1592] Bro, that's all I call him now.

[1593] I mean, that's all I call them now.

[1594] People call it that.

[1595] That's culture, man. Dude.

[1596] That's culture.

[1597] I was, we were talking about this dude with his girlfriend, like, why she boss him around.

[1598] I go, yo, she got the heavies.

[1599] She got the heavies.

[1600] Like, you could boss around if you got the heavies.

[1601] It's different.

[1602] Yeah, like, she's a little extra hot.

[1603] Oh, yeah.

[1604] Nancy Pelosi's got the heavy.

[1605] Nancy Pelosi's got the Nancy Pelosi's.

[1606] Nancy got The heavies are crazy.

[1607] You know, I got a peevee so bad.

[1608] Let's take a little pee break.

[1609] Wait, what were we just saying?

[1610] You were talking about flow state.

[1611] No, no, yon me. Oh, yon me. Yeah, yon me. Bro, there's a funny, there's a funny thing that happens, like, having a brain that jumps to jokes all the time is like, because there's a moment, like, you know, I was listening to the Yomi story and she was telling the, this.

[1612] I mean, just this immensely tragic story, right?

[1613] Like, the most tragic thing ever.

[1614] But she, and she was talking about this thing where, like, her mom got sold to mentally retarded farmers.

[1615] Yeah.

[1616] And it was, like, my brain, I wanted, I didn't say it, but I wanted to know, like, what crop can, like, retards farm?

[1617] Well, it might not be a crop.

[1618] It might be animals.

[1619] But a farmer, I guess farmers do have animals.

[1620] Yeah.

[1621] I just needed to know, but I couldn't ask it without it seemingly being insulted.

[1622] Because it seems like I'm insulting, but I'm also like, I just want to know the crop.

[1623] And that's just like...

[1624] Do you want to imagine, like, your life being at its lowest point?

[1625] Like, someone sold you to mentally handicapped people who are farmers?

[1626] Yeah.

[1627] And you're out in the wood somewhere, there's no cell phones, there's no electricity.

[1628] Yeah.

[1629] And you just have to exist.

[1630] Almost like, you know, I mean, it's not, you're not a caveman.

[1631] You're a more, you're living in modern times.

[1632] Yeah.

[1633] You're living in a time where there's electricity and televisions and movies and probably living at a time where Rambo was on the screen.

[1634] And at that same time.

[1635] you are the property of mentally handicapped people that are farmers in the middle of nowhere in China yeah like holy shit man yeah how the fuck do you get out of that yeah that's that's the kind of conversation I want to have with those Republican pull yourself up by your bootstraps people but you feel like you could escape from mental retarded farmers though right like some of them are strong but if they weren't what if you like gave them some ice cream or something and then like they were really focused on that you can't escape from your dog man you know your dog's stupid people are way people are way fucking smarter even dumb people are smarter than a dog bro they're going to keep you around they'll chain you up you'd be like a pet kangaroo they have in their house You know what's the most fucked up statistic?

[1636] What?

[1637] Is that there's more slavery today than there was before slavery is abolished in America?

[1638] But is it, what is that?

[1639] Population Density or something?

[1640] It's probably that, but it's also like what we consider slavery.

[1641] It's like there's places where you're not a slave, but you really can't leave.

[1642] It's like indentured servitude.

[1643] Or like cobalt mining.

[1644] Like you don't have any food.

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] So that's my...

[1647] Where are you going to go?

[1648] How, yeah, where does our guilt extend?

[1649] Like, if we outsource all the things that we're guilty about, does it leave at our border?

[1650] Never.

[1651] It never leaves.

[1652] You have a phone that's made by slaves.

[1653] But do you feel guilty about it?

[1654] Yes.

[1655] You do.

[1656] Yeah, for sure.

[1657] If there was a company that came along that was like if Samsung said, hey, we're going to make all of our phone.

[1658] Cruelty free.

[1659] Cruelty free.

[1660] We're going to get all of our cobalt from this place where we can ensure you that there's nothing there.

[1661] and no Chinese factory workers making, you know, 16 cents a day or whatever the fuck they make.

[1662] Yeah.

[1663] It's not, if, yeah, if there was a phone that was made in America that cost twice as much, I'd buy it in a fucking heartbeat.

[1664] But there isn't.

[1665] There isn't.

[1666] And because there isn't, we, what do we do?

[1667] We put up with the guilt, like...

[1668] Well, they fucked up.

[1669] They fucked us, okay?

[1670] And, you know, to be connected to something where you absolutely need it but it's morally reprehensible at its very core like imagine how many people have tweeted self -righteous things on a phone that was made by slaves that's the reality of these phones and Apple's one of the richest fucking companies on planet Earth I don't know what the logistics would be involved in making a phone in America with skilled labor that gets paid a fair wage and gets health insurance and union benefits and all that stuff.

[1671] But whatever it is, I feel like I would like to pay that.

[1672] And maybe, and if I don't have the money, I'll buy less phones.

[1673] I'll buy a phone.

[1674] I have a fucking iPhone 11.

[1675] One of my phone lines is an iPhone 11.

[1676] It's great.

[1677] It still works.

[1678] Still seems so normal when I fire it up.

[1679] It doesn't seem any different to me. But do we have the mineral?

[1680] Like, do we have cobalt in America that we can mine?

[1681] I don't think we do.

[1682] That's the tricky thing.

[1683] I don't know.

[1684] Is cobalt available in America?

[1685] I thought it's all available in, like, the Congo.

[1686] Well, that's where the primary source is for sure.

[1687] But I think there's at least one of the place on Earth.

[1688] I don't remember it correctly.

[1689] Oh, Mexico.

[1690] Let's go.

[1691] Mexico's this shit.

[1692] Listen, we have a problem with the cartels.

[1693] Why don't it's just like Mexico?

[1694] Do we have a problem with them?

[1695] do we have a problem with the cartels or are we working with the cartel well for sure someone's working with them i mean it's not just like a hundred percent mexican citizens that are sneaking across here and doing all this business someone's working with them god damn what's wrong with my throat yeah someone for sure is working with them um but it's not good it's not good to have this like fake scenario.

[1696] You have a fake scenario.

[1697] It would say, drugs are bad.

[1698] If you make drugs illegal, no one's going to do drugs.

[1699] Like, your math sucks.

[1700] Okay?

[1701] Because that's not the correct math.

[1702] The correct math is, if you make drugs illegal, then illegal people sell drugs, you fucking asshole.

[1703] And so now you've propped up a multi -billion dollar industry south of the border filled with ruthless murderers.

[1704] Idaho.

[1705] Is the only coal bomb in the United States and it's going to remain so.

[1706] Okay, so we have some cobalt here.

[1707] I'm sure they could find some more.

[1708] Okay, maybe we have just enough for us.

[1709] How about just for us?

[1710] Let's like let the world make their own moral decisions.

[1711] But maybe if we legitimately are the moral high ground, we could, like, encourage the rest of the world to realize, like, the same thing we were talking about earlier about having too much money.

[1712] Like, just don't, you can't just think about money.

[1713] At a certain point in time, you have to just figure out what's best for everybody.

[1714] Yes.

[1715] And in this situation, if I was the king of the world, if I was the king of America, I would say, how about we only make phones that are in America?

[1716] Yep.

[1717] We make American -made phones with American, we'll have sanitary conditions that are safe and, you know, provide health care, all the things that you would hope someone working a fucking cobalt mine would get, give them a great wage.

[1718] Like make it so that this is an even exchange.

[1719] It's not a negative exchange.

[1720] Protect them from all the...

[1721] And if we knew that the cobalt we're getting on our phone, you don't have to worry.

[1722] These guys make $100 ,000 a year.

[1723] They're fucking well -paid.

[1724] They live in a great community.

[1725] Okay, great.

[1726] Now I don't feel bad about my phone.

[1727] But if you watch those videos from Foxconn, you see those fucking poor people slaving away all day long in this sweatshop, 16 hours a day, they have bunks there and shit.

[1728] They put nets around the building To keep people from jumping off That is so wild Instead of changing the conditions They won't let you kill you That's crazy They're like get back to work They grab you by your hair Fucking drag you back down onto the floor You probably owe them money or something I mean I don't know how they fucking do that Yeah it's a tricky one Do you feel you would want everything you use In your everyday life To have a clean connection to, like, ethically source materials, you know, great relationships with workers, no greedy corporations that are fucking over the environment.

[1729] Everybody would want that.

[1730] I think they'd want that if they had excess.

[1731] I think most people are, like, trying to pay their fucking rent.

[1732] And they're like, all right, if this is a little bit cheaper, I have a little bit more money for my family, my parents who are sick and my kids.

[1733] Like, I can buy them another fucking baseball mitt.

[1734] And so they can't even consider people in the Congress.

[1735] And I think that's the tricky thing where, like, they know, it's almost like the Amazon situation where it's like most people probably know that Amazon might not be the best situation for like mom and pop businesses, but it's so convenient to them and it's so much cheaper and it's so efficient that they just go, all right, well, this is great for me. Yeah.

[1736] Yeah, there's that.

[1737] Yeah.

[1738] It is interesting.

[1739] But I think that in those circumstances when, you know, this is.

[1740] people that just can't afford to buy, you know, whatever it is, ethically sourced and organically grown.

[1741] There should be other options.

[1742] But if there was a clear option that someone could take, if a phone costs $1 ,200.

[1743] Right?

[1744] I just looked up as saying that cell phones are not what's driving the cobalt price rise.

[1745] It is electronic batteries.

[1746] It's car batteries.

[1747] Well, yeah, well, that was the...

[1748] Like Tesla's and shit?

[1749] But that is what they use them in cell phones.

[1750] It's like lithium -ion batteries.

[1751] Eight grams of cobalt is in a cell phone.

[1752] And how much is in, like, a 9 -volt battery?

[1753] I don't know what's in a 9 -volt, but the rechargeable battery.

[1754] That's okay.

[1755] I see your point.

[1756] You're right.

[1757] It's like it's everything electronics.

[1758] We're thinking about it as cell phones, but that's because cell phones are the primary...

[1759] They're just dominant our life.