Armchair Anonymous: Internship

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[3] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

[4] I'm Dax Shepherd.

[5] I'm joined by Monica Padman.

[6] The intern of all interns.

[7] Internship debacles, disasters.

[8] Tell us about a time you had a bad internship.

[9] Um, you never had one.

[10] I never had one.

[11] You had many we found out.

[12] Yeah.

[13] You'll hear about some of my.

[14] I did.

[15] And actually, it was, it was really hard for me to get an internship.

[16] I interviewed for many.

[17] Really?

[18] Yes.

[19] I don't feel like you should have to interview for an interview.

[20] It's free labor.

[21] I know.

[22] That's why it's extra demoralizing when you don't get it.

[23] We got pitched an incredibly capable person.

[24] I know.

[25] Did you read her thing?

[26] It's so impressive.

[27] Yeah.

[28] It was forwarded to, from Adam Grant.

[29] Yes, and this person's so overqualified.

[30] And my first thought was like, A, we don't deserve you.

[31] B, I'm not sure what you would do here.

[32] We enjoy doing way too much.

[33] Yeah, and we'd have to hire her to do like a legit, we could never not pay someone.

[34] Exactly.

[35] I was like, there's no way I could have this person provide these services and just be like, yeah, and that's for free.

[36] I know.

[37] I think the whole system is flawed.

[38] There are paid internships, which I think is what I was trying to get.

[39] But I think I ended up going for unpaid.

[40] but with perks, as you'll hear about.

[41] Well, and the reason I think it's tricky is no one's trying to intern at a low -paying job where they couldn't afford it.

[42] Like, they're interning at law offices, armchair experts.

[43] Like, the places could pay you.

[44] Right, exactly.

[45] They're not really low margin.

[46] You're not interning bagging groceries at a grocery store where the margins 3%.

[47] Yes, that's true.

[48] So, yeah.

[49] It's unethical, whatever, I'm going to go ahead and say.

[50] I think it's, I think you're a piece of shit if you have interns and you don't pay them.

[51] Taking a huge stand.

[52] But also we think it's great if you want to be an intern and you go and you are an intern and you learn something.

[53] Yeah, no, it's not the interns issue.

[54] It's just we think people should pay you.

[55] Probably if you have a good enough job that people want to intern at, you probably, maybe you should pay them.

[56] But that's what I was applying and applying and couldn't get one.

[57] I mean, I did.

[58] No, I think those must have been paid.

[59] You want a little cash.

[60] You know, there was a very coveted internship.

[61] Ooh.

[62] At a huge brand.

[63] Can you guess it in Atlanta?

[64] Coca -Cola.

[65] Yeah.

[66] An internship at Coke.

[67] Coca -Cola.

[68] Coca -Cola in Atlanta was prime.

[69] And it was hot, and I think there were two available for public relations or marketing or whatever.

[70] Yeah.

[71] And I was trying to get one so bad.

[72] Yeah.

[73] They didn't want me. Would you have loved to have worked at Coca -Cola?

[74] I was in it for the prestige.

[75] Yeah.

[76] Which if you're out of Atlanta, it sounds like.

[77] a little, funny, but it is a company town.

[78] It's like we're going to GM in Detroit, but you might, you know, you might not think like I'm dying to intern at GM.

[79] It's like Google.

[80] It would be like working at Google.

[81] But also, cautionary tale, blessing in disguise, meet you.

[82] Liberal arts education.

[83] I think that's in the mix, intern out of college.

[84] Hellenic studies.

[85] Hellenic studies, the classics.

[86] It all worked out because I didn't need to do an internship.

[87] and PR.

[88] But you know what?

[89] I did need to do an internship at this movie company that I did get.

[90] Yes.

[91] And I met Rayne Wilson.

[92] Yeah, you did a lot of fun stuff.

[93] I did fun stuff and it really was the right.

[94] It works out.

[95] If you have the added cherry on top of meeting celebs, that's worth it.

[96] I think you don't have to pay those people.

[97] I would have worked for free for sure to meet Nicholas Cage.

[98] I know, but we, but that's worth more than a paycheck.

[99] No, you should.

[100] still be paid.

[101] Okay.

[102] People are just people.

[103] We're back.

[104] The end.

[105] Please enjoy internship stories.

[106] What's up guys?

[107] It's your girl Kiki and my podcast is back with a new season and let me tell you it's too good and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest.

[108] Okay.

[109] Every episode I bring on a friend.

[110] I mean the likes of Amy Pollard, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[111] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[112] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[113] Come and go Take them slow You gotta know I'm gonna keep on shining Hello We can hear you beautifully Oh my God Oh God I'm so glad I tried to follow the instructions Look at this closet This is huge It's a beautiful closet And you appear to have a desk in your closet I've cheated a little Our house is so small My office is turned closet So I hope it works.

[114] You can't stand in our other closet.

[115] I see what's happened.

[116] So you've taken over the wall behind your desk with a beautiful array of armoires.

[117] No. Billetons.

[118] Yeah.

[119] Billetons.

[120] Yeah.

[121] That's brilliant.

[122] Sarah, where are you?

[123] I'm in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[124] Oh, what a wonderful place to be, especially this time of year.

[125] Are you a lake person?

[126] Oh, yeah.

[127] We just got back from the lake yesterday.

[128] Was it dreamy?

[129] It was.

[130] It was the first time my entire family has ever been together, We live all over the world.

[131] So it's pretty exciting.

[132] Okay, so right out of the gates, I'm going to tell you that if you came in to apply for an internship, I'm in.

[133] Yeah, me too.

[134] You look very intern friendly.

[135] Professional woman with a nice smile, friendly, trusted brand.

[136] Yeah.

[137] That's very nice.

[138] I have done my fair share of internships.

[139] Hopefully that's past me now, though.

[140] Unless you get to like intern, I don't know, Brad Pitt, something that's like, oh, fuck it.

[141] I guess it's worth, though.

[142] I'd probably intern for you guys.

[143] Oh, that's flattering.

[144] Okay, so please tell us about your internship experience.

[145] Or the one that's worthy of an anonymous story.

[146] My internship actually took place in the British Virgin Islands.

[147] It was after my freshman year of college, and I had dreams of working in the scuba diving industry.

[148] Oh.

[149] So I did a little Google search, and I found a summer camp where they would take kids out on these giant catamaran boats with a kitchen and multiple rooms.

[150] and we would teach them how to scuba dive.

[151] So the interns were kind of there to be camp counselors and learn the scuba industry.

[152] Had you already been certified as a scuba diver?

[153] Yeah, Landlock, Minnesota.

[154] I learned to scuba dive when I was in high school, the pool of our high school.

[155] And then we ended up going to Roatan, Honduras, to do like the rest of our certification.

[156] Oh, cool.

[157] I get down there, and it is important to note, I wasn't as well traveled as I am now.

[158] So I'm going to make some very clear mistakes along the way.

[159] way, I have learned from them.

[160] But I get down there, not knowing anybody in the organization, anyone who's gone to the camp, I paid a lot of money, and I was going to be there for six weeks.

[161] And I would also become a scuba dive master so I could lead dives was like kind of what I would get in return and experience.

[162] We fly in.

[163] It's called Beef Island and the BBI.

[164] If I was a single lady, I'd be straight to Beef Island.

[165] Sounds like you would want to go now to Beef Island, I think.

[166] I'd want to be one of the objects at BF Island.

[167] So I arrived and I meet everybody.

[168] And instantly, I realized that I should have done a little more research.

[169] Their teaching method was all based on fear.

[170] Oh.

[171] From the moment you got there, there was a lot of yelling.

[172] The expectation was, don't you ever sit still, always be working.

[173] And so I was like, okay, I'm going to do this.

[174] And we're in port for a couple days.

[175] And the first day, I remember being so, scared of the leader.

[176] He was like six, seven, huge beard, probably 300 pounds.

[177] And I didn't know what I was doing.

[178] It was my first day.

[179] So I would go and hide in the bathroom.

[180] So they couldn't tell that I wasn't working hard or that I had paused working.

[181] And I remember just sitting there being like, how am I going to do this for six weeks?

[182] Like, I can't even ask questions because I'm going to get yelled at.

[183] The organization or the outfit that was providing this, they were Americans running this business down in the British version islands?

[184] Yep, all the staff and the owners.

[185] And the guess they're all kids from the states generally?

[186] Yeah, I would guess they would accept any sort of camper, but it was, from my recollection, majority kids from the U .S. So we were leaving port and I knew we wouldn't be back for three weeks.

[187] So I was going to be stuck on this boat.

[188] I didn't have a cell phone.

[189] I was traveling with one debit card.

[190] Oh, oh no. We leave port and I'm still getting taught how to do things on the boat.

[191] But that teaching would be, do it.

[192] And I would do it.

[193] And then they'd yell, that's a great way to lose your effing hand.

[194] And I'd be like, oh, my God.

[195] Okay.

[196] Oh, wow.

[197] As I know now, when you're in fair -based learning, your brain just kind of like shuts down.

[198] So I'm not sure how anybody learned anything.

[199] And at this point, I'd been on the boat for maybe five days, and I just knew this wasn't for me. But I had no way to contact anybody, no cell service, nothing.

[200] theme.

[201] And I actually submitted a small portion of this story.

[202] It's a two -fer because I also lived out my greatest fear.

[203] This is the part that I had shared before, and I'm sorry, Monica, I don't think you're going to like this part.

[204] Oh, this vaginal?

[205] No, water.

[206] Ocean.

[207] Oh, okay, okay.

[208] Sorry.

[209] Close, though.

[210] Almost.

[211] I love vaginal.

[212] Well, the woman who split her vagina open.

[213] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[214] That was terrible.

[215] I'm at the point where I'm not talking to anybody, don't know how to contact.

[216] anybody don't know what to do.

[217] And they tell us the night before this happens that we haven't been working hard enough.

[218] We've been too slow in the morning, waking up.

[219] So they've decided to help us wake up in the morning.

[220] All the interns are going to swim around all of the catamaranes.

[221] Oh.

[222] This is like boot camp.

[223] Yeah.

[224] Are you going into port or when you leave for three weeks, you guys are on that boat at sea for three weeks?

[225] Correct.

[226] We definitely never went back to like beef islands.

[227] Sometimes we'd stop at small islands to get food, but we weren't getting off the boat.

[228] Like Dong Island and Balls Island and Coxville.

[229] So yeah, we were told we would have to swim around the catamaran's.

[230] I'm not good at judging distances, but it was four boats.

[231] Like this is multiple lengths of a swimming pool that we need to swim.

[232] It's not like a tiny little loop.

[233] So people make fun of me, but my biggest fear is sharks.

[234] Yes, I've gone.

[235] on diving with sharks, but it's very different to be with them on the bottom of the ocean than like where they feed at the surface of the ocean.

[236] Sure, sure.

[237] I know a lot about sharks and they feed at dusk and dawn.

[238] And so we're doing this at dawn and we all jump into the water and I had my first and only panic attack.

[239] Everybody left me slimming away to complete our task to not get yelled at.

[240] And I'm trying to not drown in the dark as shark base.

[241] And so I climb into a tiny little dingy that's attached to one of the catamaran's, finish my panic attack, and then continue to swim around the rest of the boats.

[242] Are the other cadets liking this lifestyle?

[243] Are you guys commiserating about this?

[244] They had all been campers.

[245] And so maybe had seen the internship and saw it almost as a right of passage.

[246] Oh, God.

[247] So they did do it.

[248] I won't kind of complain, but it was more grumbles than like an uproar.

[249] Gotcha.

[250] And so at that point, I get back to the boat and I'm like, I'm done.

[251] I can't do this.

[252] There's like maybe seven leaders.

[253] I approached one of them and I basically said that.

[254] And I was like, happy to be a camper for a couple weeks.

[255] I'll leave at the three week mark.

[256] Keep all my money like I don't care.

[257] And then they called a meeting on a boat.

[258] They drove me out a little dingy away from everybody.

[259] And I was warned if that happened, it means that they're going to scream at you.

[260] So I get on to a different catamaran really far away.

[261] And all the leaders are there.

[262] And they basically say, you're done.

[263] We're dropping you off at the next island we find.

[264] And they did.

[265] And they did.

[266] True to their word.

[267] Yep.

[268] Same day.

[269] No cell service.

[270] They leave me at the closest island.

[271] We had to pack in almost a duffel bags, like in the military, like soft side of bags.

[272] And I just still have this vision of the bag flying off the catamaran and like landing next to me. And then they just drove away.

[273] What?

[274] What an outfit.

[275] It sure did feel illegal.

[276] I think I was a little disassociated at that point.

[277] Yeah.

[278] I'm surprised they didn't code read you while you were sleeping.

[279] You know, they do in the military.

[280] Like, Beter was pillowcases full of soap.

[281] What's cool, though, is you kind of are the only person who can answer that if you're stranded on a deserted island.

[282] What book would you want?

[283] What would you bring?

[284] What's one item?

[285] You lived that.

[286] Also, it's quite a bit of self -assuredness to go against that much group thing to go like, you know what?

[287] Fuck this.

[288] You would do this.

[289] Yeah, I would.

[290] But I would be horrified if I got dropped up.

[291] I was like, I'm not getting off.

[292] Oh, wow.

[293] Okay.

[294] I'm not working and I'm not getting off.

[295] And fuck you and I'm going to sue you when we get back.

[296] I am actually an attorney now and I wish that I would have sued that.

[297] Yeah, right?

[298] I went to like a little, for lack of a better word, shack that was on the island, tried to communicate the best I could that I needed to get to Beef Island.

[299] I'll take you to Beef Island, hon. Oh, God, I know.

[300] It's only three short steps away.

[301] At least I would have had shelter at that point.

[302] You go, I need to get to Beef Island.

[303] And he goes, well, I was looking to get to Tuna Town.

[304] So that's from grumpier old man. And Sarah's laughing.

[305] Okay, but okay.

[306] Are there a bunch of little satellite islands around the main island of the British Virgin Islands?

[307] These aren't islands I would have heard of or you would stop at on a cruise or anything, right?

[308] Correct.

[309] Maybe a few people lived on the island that I was on.

[310] And we did all have passports.

[311] So we would go between the U .S. and the British Virgin Islands.

[312] But I'm pretty confident I was on a British Virgin island at that point.

[313] No idea of the name.

[314] I communicated I needed a ferry.

[315] They got me, again, an equivalent of a dingy with seven men who were being ferried to another island to then go on the main ferry to Bef Island.

[316] And I got on had no other option.

[317] And I remember sitting there after I got on and being like, this was a mistake.

[318] I'm going to be the next taken.

[319] What am I doing?

[320] No one even knows I'm on this island.

[321] This is not an official ferry.

[322] It's just a boat.

[323] I truly prayed to a God that I didn't believe in at that point to be like, get me out of this.

[324] And I clearly survived.

[325] They were amazing humans and nothing happened.

[326] And they brought me to a bigger island to then get more of like a state sanctioned ferry.

[327] Where there might be a manifest or some record of passage.

[328] Yes, with life jackets and a captain.

[329] I love that.

[330] Qualified captain, yeah.

[331] What's up guys?

[332] It's your girl Kiki and my podcast.

[333] is back with a new season and let me tell you it's too good and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest okay every episode I bring on a friend and have a real conversation and I don't mean just friends I mean the likes of Amy polar keel Mitchell Vivica Fox the list goes on so follow watch and listen to baby this is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast we've all been there turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[334] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[335] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[336] It's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[337] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[338] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[339] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[340] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[341] I do get to the main island, and I go to the counter and I need a day -of -ticket to Minnesota from the British Virgin Islands, and I think it was like $1 ,500.

[342] Oh.

[343] Oh, my God.

[344] I probably had $500 on my debit card.

[345] There was no way that sucker was going through.

[346] And luckily, I was able to call my parents, explain everything that happened.

[347] They're full on panicking, and they booked me a ticket.

[348] And I flew to Puerto Rico.

[349] And I got to Puerto Rico, and there was a tropical storm.

[350] So my flight was canceled.

[351] So I'm now in Puerto Rico, at least out of the BVI, which I'll never go back.

[352] And I go up to the counter thinking, like, Cool.

[353] Where's my hotel?

[354] And because it was canceled from weather, they didn't have to provide a hotel.

[355] Force majeure.

[356] I don't like that part.

[357] So I, of course, start crying because I have a debit card with $500 on it.

[358] That's going to be declined.

[359] And this nice gentleman next to me paid for my hotel room.

[360] Oh, okay, good.

[361] Oh, because I think it must have been like the middle of the night in Minnesota.

[362] Like I couldn't get a contact with my parents at that point.

[363] Then I get to my hotel and I tell.

[364] my mom would happen, and she's panicking, because she's like, well, now this random guy knows you're alone in your hotel room and what hotel you're at.

[365] So then I, like, barricade my door and I don't sleep.

[366] Then I get to JFK.

[367] Something was delayed at JFK.

[368] And by the time I got home, it had been about four days.

[369] And I think I was only on the boat for like five days.

[370] Oh, man. This is a real disaster.

[371] That was a disaster.

[372] Textbook disaster right there.

[373] But you made it.

[374] And now you're a lawyer, which is very prestigious.

[375] Still scuba?

[376] It did not hinder my scuba love.

[377] I even worked in the industry a little bit, and I went diving within the last few months.

[378] Oh, wonderful.

[379] What kind of lawyer are you?

[380] I am a defense attorney, and I represent people being evicted, so I help them stabilize their housing.

[381] Nice.

[382] That's so cool.

[383] I'm sorry.

[384] That sounds like a real shit intern.

[385] It doesn't really even sound like an internship.

[386] Yeah, they pretended it was an internship.

[387] But it was really boot camp.

[388] Suing.

[389] Did you, like, give a review or anything?

[390] Is there any way you could warn people?

[391] I guess not.

[392] What are you going to do?

[393] I did report them to the Better Business Bureau.

[394] Oh, good.

[395] So lawyerly.

[396] Yeah.

[397] This is pre -law days.

[398] So maybe I was always destined to be an attorney.

[399] When you get to SCUBA certified, they're international organizations that you get certified under.

[400] And so the organization that covered this camp that all the kids were in their certification under, I emailed everybody at that company to tell them, this isn't safe, this is what they're doing, people are in danger, and I got sent a cease and desist from the company.

[401] Oh, wow, they took legal action.

[402] Well, now as an attorney, I'm like, that's kind of blowing smoke.

[403] Yeah, yeah.

[404] We've gotten one of those, a couple of those, actually.

[405] Yeah, at the time, I was like, oh, my God, okay, I'll never talk about it again.

[406] And now I'm like, whatever.

[407] I'm going to send my kids there.

[408] What if that's what I learned from this?

[409] I'm going to say, what a great place to send the girls.

[410] I mean, the campers, I think, have a great time.

[411] Yeah, probably.

[412] They're watching these cadets get run ragged, swimming around the boats and hazed.

[413] Oh, well, Sarah, thank you so much.

[414] It was delightful to meet you.

[415] Yeah.

[416] And I did just want to tell you guys, having such a heavy job and a heavy world, you guys just bring a lot of joy and levity and compassion to everyone you talk to.

[417] And I really think that's the key to how we're going to fix this world and just really appreciate you guys and you've now become divorce worthy with me and my fiance if i ever listen to an episode without him that's so sweet yeah it sounds like you got a great guy if he's yeah he sounds like a genius he's up all my technology so shout out to eric for that oh well thank you yeah thank you so much yeah we appreciate it all right we'll take care have a great rest of your day bye bye What is your dream fake name?

[418] I don't have one.

[419] That's a terrible answer.

[420] What's your favorite character on television?

[421] Woman, female, if you want, or it can be male.

[422] Tony Soprano?

[423] Tommy Shelby, Shelby, Peeky Blinders.

[424] Oh, Shelby.

[425] Shelby, it is.

[426] Shelby, that's a great one.

[427] There you go.

[428] Yes.

[429] Oh, we love Thomas Shelby, too.

[430] What a heartthrob, huh?

[431] I know.

[432] I know.

[433] Okay, so Shelby, you have an internship, horror story, I guess.

[434] I do.

[435] So I went to school.

[436] in the South.

[437] I was in my senior year, and I was getting a bachelor's degree in criminal justice.

[438] I played sports, so I was really focused on sports, not so focused on, hey, you have to do something with your life when you leave.

[439] But I got to my senior year, and I had no idea what I wanted to do when I left college.

[440] So I said, well, I'll do an internship.

[441] I signed up for this internship.

[442] It's 12 weeks long.

[443] I worked for a sheriff's department.

[444] Oh, wow.

[445] In a very small town, because I didn't know what I wanted to do.

[446] I spent a few weeks with each different division within this department.

[447] So I did a few weeks with patrol units where I just rode around with police officers.

[448] I spent some time with a victim's advocate.

[449] I spent some time at the solicitor's office, pretty much anything and everything.

[450] They let me just observe.

[451] This sounds very philanthropic of them.

[452] It's not like they needed someone to handle the filing and that's what you were stuck doing.

[453] It sounds like they let you have a say in what you were going to participate.

[454] in.

[455] Yes.

[456] Although I'll participate, I would use that loosely.

[457] I was just basically existing.

[458] So about the fourth weekend, I was with a detective who was doing violent crimes.

[459] I checked in with him for that day and he said, today we're going to go to this autopsy for this man who had been killed earlier in the week.

[460] Really quick.

[461] This is a small town, but it sounds like they have a lot of departments.

[462] And there's a homicide happening in this town?

[463] There's a homicide.

[464] There was all kinds of crazy.

[465] I mean, I could have told you so many stories for this prompt with this interview.

[466] Wow.

[467] Okay.

[468] Wow.

[469] So he said, we're going to do this autopsy for this guy that had been killed by his partner.

[470] It was like a domestic thing.

[471] So I wasn't super nervous about it.

[472] I had already seen some pretty gnarly stuff.

[473] We get to the hospital and we go to the basement where the morgue is and we're walking on the hallway.

[474] And we get to the doors and it's just me and this male detective.

[475] He pulls something out of this pocket.

[476] And he says, I want you to put this in your nose holes because it's going to smell really nasty in there.

[477] Yeah, this is my expectation.

[478] He looks at me and he goes, don't puke.

[479] He's like, you don't want to be the intern that pukes in this room.

[480] This is business.

[481] Sounds like he's been there before.

[482] Yeah, yeah.

[483] It very much was like, don't embarrass me. Don't do what I'm pretty sure you're going to do.

[484] Well, then I started to get kind of nervous.

[485] I'm like, I don't want to be the intern that pukes.

[486] I don't even want to be noticed.

[487] I'm already like a northerner, a female, and a college kid.

[488] We walk into the room.

[489] It's a square room.

[490] There's probably about six to seven different men in there.

[491] It's all men.

[492] I stand to the right hand side.

[493] There's a wall there.

[494] At that point, I'm like, breathe through your mouth.

[495] Do not breathe in through your house.

[496] The victim is in the center of this room, and he's on a metal table.

[497] He's a really large man, probably.

[498] like in his late 50s.

[499] Immediately, I'm like, oh, he's naked.

[500] That's weird.

[501] I resisted asking you if he was naked like six minutes ago.

[502] I'm like, they're naked, right?

[503] In the movies, they're naked.

[504] They have to be because they're going to...

[505] Yeah, they're going to do some cutting.

[506] Obviously, I didn't think he would be, like, in a three -piece suit laying on that table, but I thought maybe they'd have a sheet in the movies.

[507] There's a white sheet.

[508] They pulled the sheet back.

[509] It's all very dramatic.

[510] That's because of the R rating.

[511] There you go.

[512] So I am just looking at the bullet holes.

[513] I'm kind of doing like a head -to -to -to -scan.

[514] Okay, his chest.

[515] I can see a couple cleaned up holes there, and there's a stomach, and there's this penis, and there's this thighs, and then I'm like, wait, what?

[516] And I scan back, and there's no penis.

[517] Oh, there's no, there's no penis.

[518] Oh, she chopped it off.

[519] I was hoping for an erection, but it's opposite.

[520] I don't know that that would be better.

[521] Well, it'd be more comedic.

[522] Well, I don't know.

[523] Chopped off penis is pretty funny.

[524] Okay.

[525] Well, you must not have a penis.

[526] I feel like if he told me that she cut his penis off, I would have remembered.

[527] that very specific detail.

[528] So I'm really thinking about it.

[529] So then I'm thinking like maybe it got mangled somehow.

[530] And I'm like everything else around it looks pretty normal.

[531] There's no other holes or anything.

[532] So I take a step closer.

[533] I see the pubic here.

[534] There's testicles.

[535] No. Oh my God.

[536] It's a Ken doll.

[537] Yeah.

[538] Wow.

[539] I'm intrigued.

[540] I take another step forward.

[541] And so by this point I'm probably two, three feet from the sky's body.

[542] You're really getting in there.

[543] Yeah.

[544] I'm invisible.

[545] All the while there's chatter, right?

[546] Like everybody's talking.

[547] talking about what's about to happen.

[548] So I'm kind of hunched over this man and I pop my eyes up for a second.

[549] And I see this doctor who's about to perform the autopsy and he's staring at me. I kind of look to the other side at the officers that were standing in the corner and they're staring at me. And then I notice that everybody in the room is staring at me and they're all laughing so hard.

[550] And then the detective that I had come with, he says, are they not like that up north.

[551] Oh, my.

[552] I was like, what?

[553] And he's like, penises.

[554] You never seen a penis that small up north.

[555] And then everybody in the room starts laughing.

[556] And I was like, oh, my God, they've all been watching me creep towards this dead guy staring at his penis.

[557] Yes, you've been busted.

[558] And so it was there, but it was just so small, you couldn't see it from your vantage point.

[559] Yeah, thankfully the doctors, like, once the blood is gone from the body, it basically can retract up.

[560] Obviously, this man wasn't very well endowed to begin with.

[561] So it had essentially, like, went up almost inside the body.

[562] So it really basically wasn't there.

[563] This whole time, I'm thinking, don't be the intern that throws up.

[564] And instead, I'm like, don't be the intern that's staring at a dead man's penis and a room full of men.

[565] Like, what are we doing?

[566] They hadn't even started the autopsy yet.

[567] I had another two hours in that room just full of dick jokes.

[568] Oh, boy.

[569] You know, about six more weeks in that very small sheriff's department.

[570] Normally you do an internship hoping to, like, get a job out of it.

[571] And I'm like, well, that's definitely not happening.

[572] I am not going to be the girl that's obsessed with dead people's genitalia.

[573] Oh, boy.

[574] So did you go into law enforcement?

[575] I did not.

[576] I really thought I wanted to.

[577] And then I had kids.

[578] I was like, yeah, I can't see this stuff all day, every day.

[579] I went very safe, and I went into corporate law.

[580] No, retreating penises.

[581] No retreating penises.

[582] That's interesting to know about the dead penis.

[583] I know.

[584] It crawls back up.

[585] What's sad for me is, like, I want to know if that happens in mind, but I can't.

[586] You'll never know.

[587] I'll never know.

[588] Then I felt bad for the guy.

[589] I'm like, now you've gotten dragged into this.

[590] You've already had a rough ending.

[591] Yeah.

[592] Untimely death from your lover.

[593] Oh, well, Shelby, what a bizarre internship.

[594] I love that.

[595] Thank you so much.

[596] I don't normally listen to Armchair Anonymous.

[597] I'm normally on the other ones.

[598] And my husband loves Armchair Anonymous.

[599] And then this prompt came up and he's like, you've got to tell the dick story.

[600] I'm like, it is perfect timing with like the penis Olympics and all of that.

[601] Penises are hot right now.

[602] They're hot right now.

[603] Pinoce Summer.

[604] Hashtake penis summer.

[605] Well, lovely meeting you.

[606] Thank you so much.

[607] Thank you so much.

[608] All right.

[609] Have a great day.

[610] Great meeting.

[611] You take care.

[612] Here comes Ryan.

[613] Look at you beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

[614] This is my David Letterman.

[615] Oh, how sweet.

[616] Where are you at, Ryan?

[617] I am currently in Wilmington, North Carolina.

[618] I'm originally from Fumbian, Ohio, which is about an hour south of Cedar Point.

[619] There we go.

[620] Oh, my God.

[621] Ding, ding, ding to him.

[622] My favorite place.

[623] You know, I'm going to make you go like we made David go to Disneyland.

[624] Oh, yeah.

[625] And I'll probably love it.

[626] You'll love it.

[627] It's a great place.

[628] If I go, will you promise to stop talking about it?

[629] I can't do that.

[630] No, I think on my deathbed, I'll be talking about Cedar Point.

[631] Yeah, what happens?

[632] You both can talk about it.

[633] Yeah, you're right.

[634] Contagious.

[635] So, Ryan, you had a crazy internship.

[636] Was it in Ohio or in North Carolina?

[637] Neither.

[638] Just because I'm dealing with patients.

[639] I'm a physical therapist.

[640] And Monica, I know you're like.

[641] love a good physical therapist.

[642] All my friends are PTs.

[643] I'm going to kind of leave the area of a country out.

[644] It was winter.

[645] The setting is, it's 2018.

[646] I'm in my last pinnacle rotation we have to do for doctoral school.

[647] At this time, I am freshly broken up with.

[648] I am heavily dosed with seasonal disorder.

[649] So in this hospital, I was known as the poop.

[650] Oh.

[651] The poop guy?

[652] Did I hear that right?

[653] The poop guy.

[654] Yeah.

[655] So, weirdly enough, I am dealing with a lot of feces more than usual.

[656] They might be stories for later products.

[657] Wait, wait, sorry, sorry.

[658] Feces coming from your body or the patients?

[659] Okay.

[660] I didn't know if there was like a colon issue.

[661] So if there was like a shitty patient, you got kind of assigned that patient?

[662] Yeah.

[663] Okay.

[664] What a service you were providing.

[665] So on this day, I'm going to be seeing an Likerti patient.

[666] they've been laying in bed for about two weeks, and they are under seed -diff precautions.

[667] You know what seed -diff precautions are?

[668] Is this a floor that takes over your intestines and prevents your body from absorbing nutrients?

[669] And is it explosive onus?

[670] Ah, yeah.

[671] So I make a plan with my instructor, feeling pretty confident, maybe overly confident.

[672] We go down to the patient's bedroom.

[673] So to go in there, you have to get down, gloves, masks, booties over your shoes talk to my instructor I go in the room introduce myself he's just kind of rolling around going like somebody killed me oh fuck and he's just finishing for deaths the plan is to slide the gentleman to the edge of the bed sit them up and then we're going to get in what we call a steady stander which is at the time you put your feet on this and it blocks your knees from buckling and then he can like put his forearms and hands on some handles and then we can take them to the chair.

[674] You know, anytime you're more upright, the brain's more active, the heart of your lungs.

[675] So just kind of hoping maybe this would maybe make them go better.

[676] So we'd get him to the edge of the bed.

[677] It starts onus, reneous, all over the place.

[678] Oh, wow.

[679] So now at this point, I'm like, we have to get him out of bed because now we have to clean it.

[680] Like, we can't just leave him in his own.

[681] I hate to ask for details, but he's on the edge of the bed.

[682] He begins his honest.

[683] and you're aware of it because you can either what a hear it be smell it or see is it actually coming out of between his legs through his gown onto the ground it's not as much what you can see it's going on on the ground but you can kind of see the sheets are starting to change colors okay sure there's a smell to it yeah yeah we get in the sitting he's still at this time yelling for death makes you a little anxious yeah we get his foot on the stander and we say like okay on a count three we're going to stand up We have a gate belt on him.

[684] We go to get him up, and of course, like this is going to trigger more honest.

[685] Yeah.

[686] As soon as we go to get him moving, full evacuation.

[687] Oh.

[688] He never really gets up fully, and somehow he is going down to the ground.

[689] Oh.

[690] So he had straight dead weight.

[691] His knee hit the standard, but his hits are like going.

[692] Oh.

[693] Oh, he is going straight to the ground.

[694] Oh, my gosh.

[695] So I grabbed the gate towel.

[696] I threw my arm underneath his arm.

[697] I got to pause you and just say again, God bless all of you guys.

[698] God bless you.

[699] I get in that situation and what I would want to do is turn around, walk out the door, lock the door, and just hope the room caught on fire.

[700] Like just somehow this whole situation has got to disappear.

[701] It's so overwhelming.

[702] Call 911.

[703] You've got a guy.

[704] You've got a guy.

[705] You're already at the hospital.

[706] Calling for death.

[707] He's collapsed or shit everywhere.

[708] Where do you even begin with this?

[709] I really think you guys would be able to spring into action.

[710] There's an amount of empathy that goes with this.

[711] Yeah, I guess if it's happening in front of you.

[712] I'm saying all this, but I did deal with some situations like this with my dad.

[713] And you're just like, oh, fuck, we got to just get busy.

[714] Yeah, you just do it.

[715] We get the guy back in bed, we're screaming for nursing.

[716] And my instructor goes, what is all over you?

[717] I just don't want to look down.

[718] No, thank you.

[719] When I finally get back to look down, I am covered in blood.

[720] I have bonnets all over it My gown is covered in blood I look through my gown My shirt's covered in blood And I have blood on my skin So it is so through Oh my God Oh Immediately I go like Where is this coming from?

[721] And the patient had a skin tear From his elbow to his belt Oh my When he started falling And I want to grab And I hooked underneath his armpit Like I must have caught The inside of his elbow And just kind of slit up his arm and just for his skin.

[722] What?

[723] Because his skin was so soft.

[724] Was this person like 90 years old?

[725] Yeah, why was their skin so terrible?

[726] Oh.

[727] Is that the root of terrible?

[728] Oh my God.

[729] Sorry.

[730] That was just a big pop out.

[731] Wow.

[732] Terrible.

[733] Oh my God.

[734] Okay.

[735] I'm 49 and that just happened.

[736] That was the first time.

[737] So I was treating patients today.

[738] And so I was kind of rehearsing this whole thing.

[739] And I was like, laughing through it and they're like we shouldn't laugh you have to laugh you have to anyone who's judgmental they can fuck off and go deal with this and see how they want to deal with it yeah yeah you dealt with this essentially they like to go home i tried to stay i like went to my car i got a new shirt the shirt had dog hair all over it breakfast single you're sad this winner i go home come back the next morning and they pull me aside and they said that patient last night after you left went to the ICU and he died.

[740] Died.

[741] Yeah, he died.

[742] Oh my God.

[743] There's no way you're going to catch an infection that fast from the skin tear to ICU to death.

[744] And just from the guy screaming for death, like, obviously there's something else going on there that he felt so bad that he wanted to die.

[745] Yes.

[746] But I just felt really bad.

[747] How old was this person?

[748] I don't remember.

[749] I probably late 60s to probably mid -80s.

[750] When you're laying in a hospital for that long for two weeks.

[751] You deteriorate, right?

[752] Yeah, you're not doing well.

[753] Wow.

[754] And then, so shortly after that, I moved to Hawaii.

[755] Lived in Hawaii for four years.

[756] I met my wife.

[757] Oh, that's nice.

[758] I'm like, screw it.

[759] I'm just moving to Hawaii.

[760] It was kind of like a bottom.

[761] It was like a life bottom.

[762] You're like, I can get the fuck out of here.

[763] It was 100%.

[764] You know, when I started listening to the show, it would have been shortly after that around that time.

[765] And that was a huge job.

[766] Oh, my.

[767] That's so nice.

[768] We just got married in Hawaii in May. So shout out to Sarah.

[769] Oh, shout out.

[770] Just real quick, I listened to all the sync and I listen to the race of 35 and those are very important to me now.

[771] They're just a very high opening.

[772] Thank you.

[773] Things that I don't even think about that is being brought to me on a week three basis.

[774] In fact, I got diagnosed with dyslexia when I was in first grade and there are some mere neurons going on there when you talk about being sucked out of the class, being taken to another a group of kids that are going to be all over the spectrum.

[775] When you're that age, you know, I hate to say, but like, I guess I'm dumb.

[776] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, clearly.

[777] I can't read.

[778] And I just start making people laugh.

[779] And I'm like, I'll just go be friends and chase girls and play sports and be a comedian and all this fun stuff.

[780] Yeah.

[781] I appreciate it so much just hearing someone else talk about it being difficult.

[782] And I did go to college and I got three degrees.

[783] We're laughing last, Ryan.

[784] Yeah.

[785] Well, congrats, man. That makes me so happy.

[786] I really appreciate it.

[787] We're very flattered someone as special as you was into our show.

[788] Yeah, truly.

[789] Great meeting you, Ryan.

[790] Thank you so much.

[791] What a barn burner of a story.

[792] All right.

[793] Until next time, guys.

[794] All right.

[795] Take care, brother.

[796] What a sweetie pie.

[797] I was thinking in the episode we recorded yesterday and then now again, it's funny.

[798] Certain events define us.

[799] And you might have had the exact same event and it wouldn't have defined you.

[800] because in the middle of that story yesterday, I was like, oh, yeah, I went to speech class.

[801] Oh, you did?

[802] Yes, they said I had a lisp.

[803] Okay.

[804] And I were like, I couldn't say S's.

[805] There was like some verbal problem.

[806] That's hard to imagine you're so verbally dexterous.

[807] Like my mom was like, no, she doesn't.

[808] But they said, yes, she does.

[809] And so I also was taken out of class.

[810] Oh, really?

[811] To go to speech class for however long.

[812] But I don't even.

[813] I forgot that part.

[814] I mean, so many things defined.

[815] the trajectory of my life, but that didn't.

[816] And it is just weird to hear that for some, you know, 100 % what sticks and what doesn't stick.

[817] Yeah, what you're susceptible to.

[818] Hello.

[819] Can you hear us?

[820] Perfect.

[821] I'm going to take these off because I can't see you guys.

[822] How long have you been in these readers?

[823] Is it new for you?

[824] No, I'm 42.

[825] I had cataract surgery when I was 22.

[826] Oh, my God, really?

[827] So there's like maybe a genetic predisposition or something?

[828] I am a type 1 diabetic.

[829] Oh, okay.

[830] Is that something that comes back?

[831] People have multiple?

[832] Or once they're gone, they're gone?

[833] They're gone.

[834] But then I was doing CrossFit and I tore my retina.

[835] Oh, no, I can't see out of this eye.

[836] I've heard of a lot of CrossFit injuries.

[837] Torn retina's not one of them.

[838] Yeah.

[839] Did you bang yourself with a bar?

[840] Well, how that fuck did you tear your retina doing CrossFit?

[841] I was doing toes to bar, like swinging, and I let go with a bar and I hit my head.

[842] Oh, fuck.

[843] Oh, man, that's terrible.

[844] You guys will see in this story.

[845] Oh, okay, okay, great.

[846] Okay, great.

[847] This is my life.

[848] All right, let's hear it.

[849] Wait, where are you?

[850] Where in the country are you?

[851] Florida by way of Colorado.

[852] Okay, so you're in Florida.

[853] Where does the internship take place?

[854] Chicago, Illinois.

[855] Robbie Rob, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[856] Okay, so hit us with this internship story.

[857] Okay.

[858] In order to have this internship, it was highly coveted.

[859] and only number one and number two in the class got it.

[860] And I was number two.

[861] I was not number one.

[862] Oh my God.

[863] Yeah.

[864] It was a very small class.

[865] That's okay.

[866] It still counts.

[867] So when I got it, they were like, well, you have to be able to get to Northwestern.

[868] And living in Tinley Park, I was like an hour south.

[869] Parking at Northwestern is insanely expensive.

[870] The train was too expensive for me. I was a physical therapy assistant student.

[871] I had no money, and my ex -boyfriend was like, well, the whole point of you doing this internship and choosing Northwestern was because you were going to have a place to stay with me. He was like, so just stay with me. It's fine.

[872] Now, I'm already dating a different person at this time.

[873] Oh.

[874] My boyfriend.

[875] Now husband.

[876] Oh, my goodness.

[877] And your ex -boyfriend offers for you to live with him while you do your internship.

[878] The plan was to live with him.

[879] So it was like thrown up in the air when we broke up.

[880] Gotcha.

[881] And then definitely when I was dating Corey, my husband, he was like, you're not living there.

[882] But, I mean, how can I stop you from doing this internship?

[883] So day one, organized, I have everything ready.

[884] They're very strict.

[885] Northwestern, you have to wear forest green scrubs if you are a student.

[886] That's the palette, no options.

[887] So I have my scrubs ready to go.

[888] I have my backpack, my binders, everything I need.

[889] And I go out to my car in the morning.

[890] I stayed at my ex -boyfriend's house.

[891] I'm, like, walking towards my car because I was keeping my scrubs in there.

[892] And I'm like, my car looks really weird as I'm walking towards it.

[893] And I get closer and closer and somebody had smashed the front windshield of my car.

[894] The driver's side window took all of my scrubs, my backpack, and my stereo.

[895] So I run back inside and I was like, Chris, I don't know what to do.

[896] I'm freaking out.

[897] This is top internship.

[898] You have to be on your game.

[899] And I was like, I don't even have scrubs.

[900] He was like, the scrubs are the least.

[901] of our worries right now.

[902] Call them, tell them you're going to be late.

[903] We'll get you there.

[904] It's fine.

[905] And he drove my car from Chicago all the way to Timley Park with no windshield back to my parents.

[906] Oh, my Lord.

[907] He loved you so much.

[908] So he drove it back to my parents.

[909] And Corey, my husband, my boyfriend at the time, was like, no, no, no, no, we're not doing this.

[910] You're not going back there.

[911] So Corey was like, you can come stay with me in Naperville.

[912] And I was like, that's so far.

[913] And he's like, I'll buy you a train ticket.

[914] You could take the train with me. It's fine.

[915] In the midst of all this, I call my clinic instructor and I was like, hey, I'm going to be late.

[916] He was like, we'll get you scrubs.

[917] It's fine.

[918] He was very empathetic.

[919] He understood.

[920] So the next day, I go to Corey's house.

[921] Brand new day.

[922] It's Tuesday.

[923] And we're taking the train.

[924] And I was like looking up how far the train was from Northwestern.

[925] And it's three miles, which is fine if you're not trying to get somewhere at 8 in the morning and on foot, I was like, I'm not doing a three -mile hike every morning.

[926] I like to rollerblade.

[927] Oh, boy.

[928] You have problem solved.

[929] Oh, no. And you're on such a good luck terror.

[930] Let's push it.

[931] This was like the perfect plan.

[932] What could go wrong?

[933] So he's like, okay, you need a backpack that fits your rollerblades because yours won't cut it.

[934] So he gives me his big old Abercrombian Fitch backpack because it fit my roller blades.

[935] And it was huge on me though.

[936] So the straps were like kind of big.

[937] And I put all my stuff in get off the train with him.

[938] I lace up my roller blades.

[939] And this is downtown Chicago, 7 .15 in the morning ,ish, packed.

[940] So I get my roller blades on and I'm going.

[941] And all of a sudden, I feel something yank me back, like pull hard.

[942] And I'm like, what is happening?

[943] And something's on top of me. Oh.

[944] All of these people start crowding around, like businessmen in perfect suits and attire.

[945] And they're like, oh my gosh, let us help you.

[946] Let us help you.

[947] Do you know a newspaper stand, like a Chicago Sun -Times.

[948] Oh, my God, yeah, yeah.

[949] My backpack got caught on the Chicago Sun -Times newspaper stand, and I yanked it on top of me. Oh.

[950] So I'm laying on the sidewalk in Chicago with this newspaper stand on top of me. All these.

[951] It's like a cartoon.

[952] It was cartoonish, but fun doesn't stop there, though.

[953] By the way, why aren't those fucking things bolted to the ground?

[954] How could, I mean, wow.

[955] That's what I'm saying.

[956] How could that even happen?

[957] in.

[958] So these guys pick me up.

[959] There's like four of them and they're like, what can we do?

[960] And my pride is done.

[961] I'm like, okay, I just fell doing the one thing I say I'm amazing at.

[962] In my mind, I'm this incredible rollerblader.

[963] So I'm like down on the ground and they're like, let us help you.

[964] And I was like, no, I'm fine.

[965] I was like crying.

[966] I had tears in my eyes.

[967] And I was in pain.

[968] I looked out in my arm and it like started bruising.

[969] I was like, I'm fine.

[970] And they were like, are you sure?

[971] Like, we can help you.

[972] And I was like, no, I'm just going to Northwestern.

[973] It's totally fine.

[974] So I start going to get.

[975] And I'm going.

[976] I'm going.

[977] I get to Michigan Avenue and Washington.

[978] And Michigan Avenue is like the big shopping central.

[979] It's busy.

[980] And I see the crosswalk.

[981] I see that the light is red.

[982] It's don't walk.

[983] And as I'm getting a little closer, it changes to walk.

[984] I go.

[985] The car did not stop.

[986] And it ran the red light and hit me. Oh my second.

[987] You got hit by a car and like a cartoon character.

[988] I tumbled over the top of it and, like, landed on the ground.

[989] Oh, my gosh.

[990] You were not supposed to do this internship.

[991] Yeah, I mean, at this point, you're wondering, like, how we get struck by lightning and the next block?

[992] I didn't really know what happened until I was on top of the car.

[993] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[994] So the lady, like, stops her car, and she was like, let me take you to the hospital right now.

[995] And I was like, no. I just didn't want somebody that just hit me in their car.

[996] So I told her no, and she was like, okay, drove away.

[997] Why?

[998] She drove away.

[999] Did you get her license plane?

[1000] No, but luckily there was a police officer right there.

[1001] He pulled her over.

[1002] She got a ticket.

[1003] A ticket.

[1004] A $30 ticket.

[1005] Moving violation.

[1006] I don't know what happened to her, to be honest.

[1007] I never found out.

[1008] So the police officer was like, do you have anybody here that could help you?

[1009] So I called my boyfriend.

[1010] He was like, okay, I'll be there in a second.

[1011] So he calls my dad.

[1012] He's like, Leanne's been hit by a car.

[1013] Oh, Jesus.

[1014] Well, yeah.

[1015] And then the ambulance comes because the police officer called the ambulance.

[1016] They put me in the ambulance.

[1017] They take me away to Northwestern.

[1018] For I arrive in the emergency room.

[1019] So I called my clinical instructor again, and I was like, hi.

[1020] Oh, my God.

[1021] I'm downstairs.

[1022] And he's like, you're early.

[1023] Good job.

[1024] He's like, come on up.

[1025] And I was like, I'm in the ER.

[1026] Oh, my God.

[1027] I'm not coming up today.

[1028] He was like, what?

[1029] So then him and probably a good 10 other PTs came down.

[1030] And they were like, we don't even know what to do with you.

[1031] Well, thank God.

[1032] They took it.

[1033] Northwestern, because if you were at a different hospital, if I were your instructor, I'd be like, yes, Gail's a drug addict.

[1034] Yesterday was this story.

[1035] Now she's been hit by a car.

[1036] Minimally irresponsible.

[1037] Like, she's lying.

[1038] Or really bad excuses, right?

[1039] Right.

[1040] Yes.

[1041] I'm a clinical director now.

[1042] And employees give me excuses all the time.

[1043] Like, oh, there was an accident.

[1044] I travel the same for you as them.

[1045] I still get there.

[1046] I get it.

[1047] But this one would really take the cake if it was like constant every day and you got hit by a car.

[1048] Okay.

[1049] What were your injuries from that?

[1050] Bruises.

[1051] The funny.

[1052] anything is they were like, wow, they really got you.

[1053] Like, there's some really strange bruising patterns on your arm, on your chest.

[1054] And I was like, yeah, that's weird.

[1055] So then it wasn't until we were on the train home that I told my husband.

[1056] I was like, the newspaper stand attacked me first.

[1057] That's why the bruises.

[1058] Here's what's crazy is you can see a scenario where, like, you really fucked yourself up with the newspaper thing.

[1059] Then you get hit by the car.

[1060] Nothing happened with the car.

[1061] And then you tell the woman, look at all this damage you did.

[1062] You could sue her.

[1063] You could really have exaggerated.

[1064] Everyone says that I should have, but I never, like, pressed charges.

[1065] I didn't do anything.

[1066] I was fine.

[1067] Where's the rest of the internship?

[1068] Did you show up on time and, like, redeem yourself?

[1069] It was my favorite one.

[1070] They loved me. I loved them.

[1071] It was amazing.

[1072] And I stayed with Corey the rest of the time.

[1073] No going back to the exes.

[1074] Can I ask you a weird question?

[1075] Yeah.

[1076] Did you have, like, a super dad?

[1077] I do have a super dad.

[1078] Because you're attracting all these men that are, super willing to go way above and beyond to help you.

[1079] And I feel like that had to feel familiar to you or something.

[1080] I mean, an ex that still wants you to stay at their house and then drives your car.

[1081] That's a rare.

[1082] But the boyfriend coming to after you got hit by a car, I wouldn't really say it's a lot of beyond.

[1083] No, but like come on the train.

[1084] I'll buy the ticket.

[1085] Here's a backpack.

[1086] Like really taking care.

[1087] Yeah, they did.

[1088] No, the first one, he broke up with me and then called my dad on the way home when his tire went flat and was like, Can you come change my tire?

[1089] And my dad will still tell that story the whole time.

[1090] So I'll give that Superdad title to my dad and my husband, not to the ex.

[1091] Oh, that was fun.

[1092] I'm glad you were okay and that it worked out.

[1093] I'm glad you're alive.

[1094] It sounds like you're very accident prone.

[1095] And then this retina situation.

[1096] It's so bad.

[1097] I'm very accident prone.

[1098] Monica was giving me a signal, but I didn't know which one of the many signals it could be.

[1099] It's not gone what.

[1100] I mainly have one.

[1101] Okay.

[1102] Oh, it's like, am I in trouble?

[1103] Did I do so?

[1104] No, we're protecting your life.

[1105] Can my husband come say hi to you guys?

[1106] Sure, Corey.

[1107] Let's get Corey in the mix.

[1108] Hello, Corey.

[1109] Dax, I quote all of your movies all of the time.

[1110] It's just a pleasure to get to meet you and Monica Yu's wealth.

[1111] Oh, thank you.

[1112] We have learned from Leanne's story that you're a real stand -up gentleman.

[1113] If you ever do another segment on dealing with exes, I'd like to submit my story.

[1114] Oh, that's a good idea.

[1115] That's actually a great idea.

[1116] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1117] Thank you for that.

[1118] Well, nice meeting both of you.

[1119] It's such a pleasure.

[1120] Thank you guys so much.

[1121] Have a good one.

[1122] Take care.

[1123] Wow, well, internships can really go awry.

[1124] Did you ever have one?

[1125] No, did you?

[1126] Yeah, I had many.

[1127] Many?

[1128] Mm -hmm.

[1129] My favorite one was at Allied Advertising.

[1130] It was a advertising agency that did movies.

[1131] Oh, I know this.

[1132] And you would, like, plaster.

[1133] You'd do city bombs.

[1134] Kind of.

[1135] And Callie also worked there.

[1136] And we would get free t -shirts for all the movies.

[1137] Yes, swag.

[1138] And the movie posters.

[1139] Once they were done, we got to have some.

[1140] And that's when I met Rayne Wilson.

[1141] Oh, right.

[1142] You told that story.

[1143] You were doing a pop -up, whatever we call it.

[1144] What do we call these?

[1145] He was doing a junket.

[1146] Okay.

[1147] What do you call it when the street crew goes up?

[1148] You know what I'm saying?

[1149] They go out and they...

[1150] Graffiti?

[1151] No. Street team?

[1152] Street team, right?

[1153] And they hand out flyers.

[1154] They put a poster.

[1155] Oh, okay.

[1156] Okay.

[1157] Okay.

[1158] You weren't part of the street.

[1159] All right.

[1160] Well, I love you.

[1161] And I was going to say I regret never having one, but now I'm kind of grateful.

[1162] They're tough.

[1163] I don't think it's for me. Yeah.

[1164] Also, one time I interned at this hospital.

[1165] Ooh.

[1166] Well, the like business end of the hospital.

[1167] The administrative wing.

[1168] Yeah.

[1169] And I had to create this book that we were going to put in the lobby of like restaurants around and the menus and stuff.

[1170] And I bought, you know, the plastic.

[1171] What are they called?

[1172] Sleeves.

[1173] Yeah.

[1174] Yeah, I just bought, like, so many plastic sleeves.

[1175] And I was trying to make it pretty, but it was all, like, handwritten.

[1176] Like, who would want this?

[1177] It was a disaster.

[1178] Anyway, I'm a hardburger.

[1179] You made it.

[1180] Love you.

[1181] Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[1182] We don't have a theme song.

[1183] We don't have a song for this new show.

[1184] So here I go, go, go.

[1185] We're going to ask some random questions.

[1186] And with the help of our Jerry's book, it's.

[1187] suggestion on the flyer rindish on the flyer rindish enjoy follow armchair expert on the Wondry app Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts you can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[1188] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.