Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Solo Stove and Whistlepig whiskey have joined forces to introduce Camp Stock, a limited edition wheat whiskey.
[1] It's aged in barrels toasted by Solo Stove, the world's favorite fire pit.
[2] On the rocks, neat, or in a smores old fashion, campstock wheat whiskey.
[3] With its notes of graham cracker, baking spices, and vanilla is the perfect fireside drink for summer nights.
[4] Cheers to whiskey flavored by the flame and savored by the flame.
[5] Please remember to pig out responsibly.
[6] This episode of Conan O 'Brien needs a friend is sponsored by LL Bean.
[7] Summer's all about getting outside for quality outdoor clothing, gear and accessories, turned to LL Bean, the expert for over century.
[8] They got camp chairs, campsite organizers, blankets, coolers, plus get the stylish yet durable clothes you need for all types of weather, including their famous bean boots.
[9] For the best outdoor products, tips and inspiration, visit LLBeen .com slash Conan outside together since 1912.
[10] Summer Smoors with Conan and the Chill Chums, a six -part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonomovsessian, and Matt Gourley.
[11] Let's get started.
[12] Episode four, Summer Smoors, Altadina.
[13] It's hot dog time.
[14] All right.
[15] We're going to roast some weanies, I think they're called.
[16] Yeah.
[17] These are, by the way, handsome roasting tongs.
[18] What are they called?
[19] Spears, tines.
[20] Skewers?
[21] Skewer.
[22] That's the word.
[23] Here, take this.
[24] guy.
[25] Okay.
[26] Thank you.
[27] Thank you.
[28] Roasting some hot dogs here and we're roasting them over.
[29] I've never roasted a hot dog over a fire.
[30] You haven't?
[31] No. And you don't get a real Christmas tree?
[32] Okay.
[33] All right.
[34] She's roasted fake hot dogs.
[35] Now, the principle, correct me if I'm wrong, a hot dog is already cooked, right?
[36] Right.
[37] So this is all, is it just aesthetic or is it for flavor?
[38] That's a good question.
[39] I guess it's just for flavor.
[40] Why is this fun for people who are listening?
[41] Sona, you clearly don't understand what podcasts are all about.
[42] My life has been podcasting.
[43] Oh, okay.
[44] I think people love hearing us have experiences.
[45] I think they like having a glimpse at the real life of us getting real, you know?
[46] Is this us getting real?
[47] Yeah, we're getting real.
[48] What about, what's that SSR?
[49] What is it when noises?
[50] ASMR.
[51] A -S -M -R.
[52] I was thinking of a supersonic jet.
[53] Yes, people may like hearing us eat a hot dog.
[54] I don't think...
[55] I don't think very many people like hearing others eat stuff.
[56] No, no, I think they like, you know, I watched a video today of someone with long nails touching, like, some food.
[57] Here.
[58] Like muck -bang?
[59] I'm going to toast my bun a bit.
[60] Why are you laughing so hard?
[61] Tunisia, what did I say?
[62] Because it was so random.
[63] Because I took a long time to just think.
[64] of the word food?
[65] That's dumb.
[66] Okay.
[67] Are you guys done already?
[68] I'm trying to cook my...
[69] I have now put the whole hot dog and bun.
[70] It's going to catch fire.
[71] Will it?
[72] I just want it to toast up a bit.
[73] I'm with you.
[74] I'm with you.
[75] I'm, I want to toast my bun.
[76] And I think what I'm doing is kind of actually innovative.
[77] Let me explain at home.
[78] I think I've I can...
[79] I've taken the two prongs of the skewer, and I wedged the hot dog in between...
[80] Ha!
[81] ha!
[82] ha!
[83] ha!
[84] Yes!
[85] The hot dog fell right out.
[86] Couldn't have time to better.
[87] Please explain what happened, sir.
[88] The hot dog slipped right into the flames as I was congratulating myself.
[89] Oh, my God, that was amazing.
[90] And you know what my favorite thing is?
[91] My favorite thing is for things to go awry as someone has congratulating themselves.
[92] Yeah.
[93] It's the best.
[94] Oh, look.
[95] The rest of the bun just fell apart.
[96] Oh, my God.
[97] Do you want condiments?
[98] Yeah, I do.
[99] I'm just going to toast up the last, what's left of my bun.
[100] Just going to toast that up.
[101] Oh, God, I love a hot dog.
[102] I could try again.
[103] Do you guys like hot dogs?
[104] You know what I like?
[105] Those street dogs that you can get when you're like coming out of a bar or a club and they're out there with the, yeah, Eduardo's nodding.
[106] He gets it.
[107] What's a street dog?
[108] I don't know what that is.
[109] They're out there.
[110] They have onions.
[111] They're out there.
[112] They're out there.
[113] This is nice.
[114] Now, I'm going to get a little sentimental here.
[115] Oh.
[116] But what year were we in your backyard, Gourley?
[117] Was that last year or two years ago?
[118] years ago, right?
[119] Yeah.
[120] Yeah.
[121] And that was nice.
[122] And now we're in Sona's backyard, which makes me think we'll be in my backyard someday.
[123] Will you let us go there?
[124] Well, I'll have to clear it with security in the area.
[125] We're going to have to zoom in.
[126] Whatever.
[127] I'll take care of it.
[128] This is so hard.
[129] I'll have to make calls because I have some pretty big deal names live in my neighborhood.
[130] And so they can't, you know, if you guys just drove in without clearance, that would be a whole disaster.
[131] You know what I mean?
[132] Would it?
[133] Yeah.
[134] I got to make sure that Joseph Gordon Levitt's cool with you guys being in the neighborhood you know chad michael murray chad michael murray solesposito i guess got to make sure that everybody knows that you're coming he's more of a sound technician but very well known do you need these ketchup and the mustard just a little uh mustard please oh you want me to put it on there ah fuck jesus it's like you guys have never handled food before sona what's your this is hard to do it this way you're such a train wreck with everything oh my god no no just in life.
[135] I didn't mean it personally.
[136] I meant just every time you try to do anything, it's just a big mess and it's awful.
[137] Oh my God.
[138] Right there.
[139] That's good.
[140] Thank you.
[141] Thanks, Gertz.
[142] You want some catch?
[143] No, no. You don't do ketchup on a hot dog, that's for sure.
[144] Not on my watch.
[145] What?
[146] No, no ketchup on a hot dog.
[147] What?
[148] That's crazy.
[149] That goes against the German tradition.
[150] Why are you guys nodding?
[151] That's not right.
[152] That's not normal.
[153] Hot dogs aren't German.
[154] You're thinking like Bratwurst.
[155] Hot dogs are American.
[156] You put ketchup on hot dogs in America.
[157] You call me. USA!
[158] I don't think we're in the USA right now.
[159] I think we left the American, the borders of the United States about four hours ago.
[160] I do love it here and I'm going to make it my mission to learn more about this place they call Altadina, this magical land.
[161] It's lovely out here.
[162] What are you going to learn about, like, the history and stuff?
[163] Yeah.
[164] And just like, when are you going to get a postal service?
[165] That kind of stuff.
[166] I'm just curious.
[167] At some point, it's the government has to provide postal service here.
[168] It's what you pay taxes for Do you pay taxes?
[169] How does it work here?
[170] Do I pay that?
[171] Yeah.
[172] Okay.
[173] All right.
[174] I just didn't know it.
[175] So, I mean, we're really out here.
[176] But you should look into it because you have a right.
[177] You have a right as a citizen to have like a postal truck.
[178] Why are you allowed?
[179] Maybe I'm close and you're far.
[180] Maybe you're far.
[181] Oh, for God's sake.
[182] No. I can roll out of...
[183] I'm close.
[184] No, no. I can lean out my window and eat some of the best sushi in town.
[185] You just admitted pretty much that the only grocery store in Altadena closed three years ago and that you guys have to get you have to portage a canoe to go and get basic goods.
[186] I did forget, I just told you that.
[187] What's the name of the...
[188] Is it Baja, what?
[189] Baja Ranch Market, which was the closest market to us, closed.
[190] Well, really the only market.
[191] You can drive far and go to another market.
[192] Yes, many people can say that.
[193] You can be anywhere on the continent and say you can drive far and there will be a market.
[194] So your defense of Altadena is crumbling left and right.
[195] What I'm trying to do is I am your advocate.
[196] I am telling you that you have the right to Postal Service.
[197] You should have a working phone.
[198] You should have irrigation.
[199] Awful.
[200] Those are things that you should have.
[201] You're entitled to them.
[202] You don't think we have irrigation up here?
[203] Well, what's that thing going on down the road?
[204] When we were driving up the road to get here, we passed over something that looked like an abandoned, gully?
[205] What's that?
[206] What's going on there?
[207] I don't know.
[208] I think that's just a reservoir.
[209] No, it's not a reservoir because reservoirs have water in them.
[210] This looks like, does anyone know what I'm talking about?
[211] On the way up here, I've seen a lot of nodding.
[212] On the way up here, we David, David, would you get to a microphone please?
[213] Do you remember when I commented on it as we passed in that tiny car that you call a car?
[214] God, then I rest my life in writing with you, sick.
[215] Okay, David, what did we see on the way up here?
[216] Just before we got to Sona's house.
[217] What was it?
[218] Describing.
[219] I don't know what it was.
[220] It was like a big, like, remember in, if you watch Parks and Rec, whenever they, like, fall down into that thing, it was like that thing.
[221] It looks like you're going to be walking and you're just going to, like, fall into this.
[222] You're just going to go down, down, down.
[223] I love your generation.
[224] If you need to describe something, you name a random TV show and say, remember that thing in that TV show, it's like that thing.
[225] This is the guy that was talking about Jack Lord's hair from Hawaii 50.
[226] Well, using specifics.
[227] I wanted a look.
[228] like Jack Lord specifics they didn't say you know that thing that was in that show with the thing why do you act like you had it I like you had a choice about what your hair I don't think I cooked this hot dog enough the center it just doesn't taste right are there more hot dogs and you know it's important we're not doing ads for the hot dogs right this is just a great ambiance I don't like these hot dogs oh no this one's kind of weak ass these are LLB and hot dogs yeah who got the hot dogs no no who got the hot dogs Did you get these from the closed Baja Fresh Supermarket?
[229] Because you know what?
[230] When they close the supermarket, sometimes they don't throw out all the food.
[231] And I have a suspicion that Chalemi broke into a window and went into the long, un -refrigerated, refrigerated section and took hot dogs from the Eisenhower administration.
[232] That one looks less.
[233] Is that what they always look like?
[234] No, this looks different.
[235] What happened?
[236] Did you change the weeners on us?
[237] The first three.
[238] We're microwaves a little bit just to get a pre -cook going.
[239] Where were they microwaved?
[240] I don't have a microwave.
[241] Oh, Rao cooked them in the kitchen.
[242] He did something.
[243] I don't have a microwave.
[244] He cooked them in the kitchen.
[245] They said we microwaved them in Sona's kitchen.
[246] And Sone just said, I don't have a microwave.
[247] That means that Rau put them in a shoe box, waited 30 seconds and then took them out of the shoe box.
[248] But these are not, these are just straight from the package.
[249] I would just cook them more.
[250] Well, I'll just have another one.
[251] No, I can't eat another one.
[252] Are these, like, really good grade A hot dogs?
[253] This is the real deal.
[254] This is like a ballpark.
[255] I think you need another wood.
[256] These are the real deal.
[257] It's real deal hot dogs.
[258] You just want to make sure it's cooked all the way through.
[259] Really?
[260] Why?
[261] Could I get sick?
[262] No, you're fine.
[263] I mean, they're cooked.
[264] Hot dogs are cooked already.
[265] Yeah, that's what I thought.
[266] This doesn't taste right on the inside.
[267] But you're still eating them.
[268] There's a piece of jewelry in this.
[269] I love that you're complaining about it, but you're still.
[270] eating it.
[271] That's the fun of a hot dog.
[272] I grew up in the depression, meaning my mom was depressed.
[273] And, uh, everyone's laughing at that.
[274] That's terrible.
[275] It was bad at the time, but it's funny now.
[276] Oh, you need more on that, don't you?
[277] I don't know.
[278] You did it so quickly.
[279] I was, I was roasting for a while.
[280] I like it the way I like it.
[281] You like a raw weir.
[282] So I think we had to go back to what did Rao think he was doing when he put the hot dog in a box in your house And waited, how do you reheat things in your house?
[283] We put him in the toaster oven.
[284] Oh, so that's what he did.
[285] But you got to put him in there for a while.
[286] He was in there for a while.
[287] It's not like you zap it for like a minute.
[288] He was in there for a microwave.
[289] Why don't you guys have a microwave?
[290] But these, the ones I just gave you right here are not reheated.
[291] We don't do microwaves.
[292] Microwaves are not good.
[293] Wait, do you think microwaves are unhealthy?
[294] I think they don't taste good when you reheat stuff with microwaves.
[295] They get mushy.
[296] I mean, what's worse than a mushy pizza that you reheat in a microwave?
[297] You can't put a pizza in the microwave, that's true, but there are many things you can put in a microwave.
[298] You could also just reheat it normally, and it takes, like, a minute longer.
[299] Okay.
[300] I guess you win this argument.
[301] I do, because you had no response.
[302] One point persona.
[303] I won that one.
[304] Yeah.
[305] Take that one point and put it in that big empty jar of points.
[306] Big empty jar of points.
[307] So the jar has a lot of points in it.
[308] No. Because you said it has a jar of points.
[309] Yeah.
[310] How is it empty if it's got a whole jar of points?
[311] points.
[312] When that one again, put another one in my jar.
[313] Clang, echo, echo, echo, echo, echo, echo, echo.
[314] That's three points you got in there.
[315] All the noise.
[316] I'm leaving.
[317] There's no more noise because it just goes thunk and it hits all the other points that I have.
[318] You know what I have?
[319] I do is win, win, win, no matter what.
[320] I have aqueducts that I have points that are just in aqueducts and there's runoffs and channels and it's points are just flowing everywhere.
[321] Your points never count because you give yourself points and those aren't.
[322] real points, but the world gives me points.
[323] Society gives me points.
[324] No, society's given you.
[325] Everybody here gave me those points.
[326] They didn't give you any points.
[327] I didn't see any point transaction.
[328] I have just waterfalls.
[329] There's, there's an electric plant that's completely powered.
[330] Turbines are turning because my points are shooting through it all the time.
[331] All of Altadena is built with my point.
[332] This entire city didn't exist.
[333] Talk about building a castle upon sand.
[334] I mean, this is biblical.
[335] If Altadena is built on your points, Everyone should flee this jurisdiction immediately.
[336] That's a terrible place to live.
[337] My neighbors are here.
[338] They live comfortably.
[339] I live comfortably.
[340] You know, you won't get home insurance the minute they find out your house is built on your points.
[341] I have so many points.
[342] You've got no points.
[343] I went all the time.
[344] Like, sometimes I'm just like, I'm so tired of winning all the time.
[345] You can see my points from space.
[346] If you're in an orbiter, you can see my points from space.
[347] And they're often mistaken for the city of Las Vegas.
[348] Because they're so bright and so shiny and so mass. I just, you know what?
[349] I just talked to an astronaut and they're like, those aren't real points.
[350] But Sona's points are real points.
[351] My points are real points.
[352] Your points are fake points you give yourself.
[353] It's like when you say something that you think it's a joke and you're like, that was real funny because no one laugh.
[354] And then you're like, that was real funny.
[355] When I say something's really funny, I'm a professional.
[356] That means that's like 11 points right there.
[357] No, I think you're just sad because nobody's laughing and you're like, I'm just going to make myself feel better.
[358] I've never said something and I don't know what that would sound like.
[359] You know what I mean?
[360] If I ever say something and there's no laughter, I would probably kill myself.
[361] immediately.
[362] That's how used to laughter I am.
[363] I'm so used to laughter that the absence of it would probably cause my heart to liquefy and then explode.
[364] I have not laughed.
[365] I'm not going to say explode and then liquefied.
[366] I not laugh.
[367] When I not laugh, I get more points.
[368] Listen, Hulk, it's Hulk.
[369] I like you, Hulk.
[370] You're good.
[371] Hulk good.
[372] But Hulk wrong about points.
[373] Conan write about points.
[374] Hulk wrong.
[375] That's a nice sweater you were.
[376] I'm going to change the subject just for a second.
[377] Point, points.
[378] points.
[379] Did you have...
[380] No, point to do.
[381] Oh, that was so many points.
[382] But that's very nice.
[383] Goreley left a long time ago.
[384] Nobody even noticed because we were having this stupid argument.
[385] Well, goarly took a break.
[386] Wait, my sweater?
[387] You were complimenting.
[388] It looks nice.
[389] We're outside.
[390] It's getting a little chilly.
[391] Yeah.
[392] It would be chillier except we're being warmed by this solo stove, which is very nice.
[393] And also these lights, they have these bank lights here because we're also being filmed.
[394] It looks a little like when there's a crime scene and they're investigating it at night.
[395] You know the way they put those big lights up?
[396] I know.
[397] So that the guys can sort of do the forensics during the nighttime.
[398] Do you have a little stroll there?
[399] Yeah, I went home and took a nap and dreamt I was happy.
[400] Oh, and had that go.
[401] Well.
[402] L .L. Bean brings both comfort and style to the outdoors with their high -quality clothes.
[403] It's not just their clothes, though.
[404] I want to make a point here.
[405] L .L. Bean's gear really is designed with thoughtful detail.
[406] For example, take the L .L. Bean base camp cooler, okay?
[407] Yeah.
[408] I don't know exactly, but I'm guessing it's about 45 quart.
[409] It's an extra spacious, super durable cooler designed to keep food and drinks cold up to 196 hours.
[410] Are there even that many hours?
[411] Yes, there are.
[412] If you wait 196 hours, that's as many hours as there are.
[413] This thing's got a ruler on it, which I assume is for measuring the fish you catch?
[414] Yep.
[415] It has ruler marks on the lid to make it easy to measure your fish when you're fishing.
[416] Hey, yep, very good, Gourley.
[417] L .O. Bean thinks about those details so you can sit back and relax in their, easy comfort camp chair.
[418] Guess what?
[419] We're sitting in him now.
[420] These are really comfortable.
[421] They're easy and comfortable.
[422] Well, you know what's nice?
[423] A chair that's this comfortable, but then when you're done with it, you just pack it up, you take it with you?
[424] Unheard of.
[425] Unheard of!
[426] Yeah.
[427] This seat offers optimal comfort for the campsite with fast one -step setup so you can quickly kick back after a fun day.
[428] I love camping.
[429] I love getting out in the wild.
[430] This is nice to have all this stuff with us.
[431] It feels like we're really camping.
[432] I know.
[433] It's really nice.
[434] And it's comfortable.
[435] These chairs are really comfortable.
[436] It's very nice.
[437] For the best outdoor product tips and inspirations, visit lLbeen .com slash Conan, outside together since 1912.
[438] That's right, the year Reagan was born.
[439] Do you know that our sponsor Whistlepig is the world's leading independent American whiskey brand?
[440] Did you know that?
[441] I had no idea.
[442] I could tell.
[443] They're about as far from the mainstream whiskey world as you can get.
[444] and are crafting whiskey in their own way with big age statements, bold flavor, and wild experiments.
[445] Their newest limited edition whiskey is a collaboration with solo stove made for sharing around the campfire.
[446] Hey, try Whistlepig camp stock in a smores, maple old fashion with a toasted marshmallow garnish.
[447] Perfect as the nights get longer this season.
[448] Summer's short, grab some friends, and pour s'mores.
[449] Yeah.
[450] Little pun.
[451] Find Whistlepig whiskey at shop.
[452] Whistlepigwiskey .com or at your local bar or liquor store, please remember to always pig out responsibly.
[453] We've brought back solo stove as a sponsor this year because it still feels incredible sitting around a smokeless fire.
[454] I really do love these solo stoves.
[455] I really do, too, and they're very pretty.
[456] Sitting around a solo stove fire pit just once, you're going to be hooked for life, I promise you.
[457] Ours is the bonfire model.
[458] That's the world's favorite fire pit.
[459] All solo stove fire pits are so easy to light, portable, come in a variety of sizes and colors, and come with a lifetime warranty.
[460] You'll never need another.
[461] Start building memories with friends and friends.
[462] family around to smokeless fire, head over to solostove .com and use promo code Conan 20 to get $20 off your order of $200 or more.
[463] This is an exciting evening.
[464] We're here in Altadena.
[465] Sona's neighbors from down the street.
[466] Yeah.
[467] They're not your next door neighbors.
[468] No, they're two houses down.
[469] And they came by.
[470] These are the ones that you told me heard you talking?
[471] Yes.
[472] They've, they've heard us before, especially when the boys are crying and stuff.
[473] They can hear.
[474] because we're allowed.
[475] We're a loud people.
[476] And sometimes our neighbors can hear us.
[477] And sometimes when I'm outside, I hear my family members, like, when I'm down the street talking.
[478] Who's the loudest person in your family?
[479] I would say my mom, between me and my mom, my mom.
[480] If you two, let's say it, I'm sure it doesn't happen often.
[481] But let's say you two were to have an argument.
[482] It happens all the time.
[483] I know.
[484] I was being funny.
[485] Yeah.
[486] When you two argue, how loud does it get?
[487] It gets loud.
[488] I mean, imagine how I normally talk and imagine it, like, amplify.
[489] I can't imagine it getting louder than what I've heard.
[490] But it probably does.
[491] Oh, yeah, it does.
[492] I can amplify.
[493] Yeah.
[494] So it gets loud.
[495] You can get loud probably.
[496] Nah, not really.
[497] Kind of a quiet mouse.
[498] Oh, my God.
[499] Everyone's laughing.
[500] You're not a quiet person.
[501] Just a guy that keeps to himself.
[502] Neighbors are always going to say he kept to himself.
[503] He was a good neighbor.
[504] We never knew he was going to snap.
[505] He kept his yard real neat You know Didn't come to any of the social things in the neighborhood But, you know, he's a fine neighbor So that's me That's the kind of guy I'd be When you first moved into your place How did you want to make sure Everybody knew they were living next door to you?
[506] Yeah First of all, I complained Because I was not on the map of the Star Zones I'm the only celebrity to ever do that You called them and you were like I went there because I have a stand on Sunset Boulevard.
[507] And I said, gentlemen, gentlemen, I think there's a mistake here.
[508] And I showed them where I lived.
[509] You have a huge Conan sign outside of your house like a car dealership.
[510] And one of those balloon men.
[511] I said.
[512] And I told them, I said, you have the other celebrities that live in my neighborhood.
[513] But I'm not represented.
[514] And I told them exactly where I lived.
[515] And I expected to see the bus at least five times a day.
[516] Yeah.
[517] Did you wait outside?
[518] Well, they first of all kept saying, and what is it you do and stuff like that?
[519] And they said, are you still on TV?
[520] And I said, that's not the point.
[521] I said, that is the irrelevant point, young man. You're not to speak back to me. And they were wondering why I was wearing a tuxedo.
[522] And, yeah, I was upset.
[523] I thought I should be part of the tour.
[524] Oh, I'm sorry.
[525] I'm sorry, too.
[526] Yeah.
[527] You know, other stars were on the tour.
[528] What's that sound?
[529] That's a horse.
[530] That's a horse.
[531] That's a horse.
[532] A horse just went on the pavement.
[533] We have horses that just.
[534] But wait, who's riding a horse?
[535] The horse people Okay God you're good Does that mean a person on a horse Or people that are horse people Like a minotaur Centaur?
[536] Yeah Wait, you have centars?
[537] No Do people regularly ride horses Up and down the street?
[538] Regularly they write There's an equestrian center Like not that far And they ride horses Just chill up and down the street That makes sense A couple times there was horse poop In front of my house Well, if you get horses, you're going to occasionally get horse poop.
[539] Yeah.
[540] But why isn't it like dogs?
[541] Why do we have to clean up dog poop?
[542] You don't have to clean up horse poop.
[543] It's a funny kind of thing.
[544] For some reason, horse manure is less offensive.
[545] I don't know why.
[546] That's true.
[547] People just feel like, yep, that's just some horse manure or whatever, big deal.
[548] It's poop.
[549] It's on the street.
[550] Pick it up.
[551] Shovel it.
[552] No, you can't.
[553] Put it in a bag.
[554] I mean, have you seen them?
[555] They're huge.
[556] You'd have to have a truck driving behind you.
[557] No, it's just not feasible.
[558] All right.
[559] Work on getting a mail system first.
[560] And then we'll get the poop off the streets.
[561] Okay?
[562] Fair?
[563] Good deal?
[564] No, I'm not going to agree with you.
[565] Thank you for the high five.
[566] No, hi -five.
[567] I did not high -five you.
[568] Yes, you did.
[569] For the record, there was no high -five.
[570] Don't do that.
[571] And high -five.
[572] Thank you, Sona.
[573] That's not how my hand would sound if I high -five.
[574] I would sound different than that.
[575] Sonna, it looks like we had a pretty good time.
[576] I'm leaving again.
[577] No, no. Are we filming this just so we can put out a clip of Conan high -fiving himself?
[578] Can we do something?
[579] I don't know how much is going to cost, but I'll pay for it.
[580] And when I mean, I'll pay for it.
[581] I'll get it out of the company somehow.
[582] But it's not going to touch my part.
[583] My part.
[584] Do some sort of cheap animation where it looks like Sona and I high -fived over this.
[585] And I don't care how cheap it is.
[586] Just make it look in a very crude way like Sona -high -fived.
[587] Can I ask for another thing?
[588] Oh, and use that.
[589] Her hand in the air right now.
[590] No, no, no, no. Yeah, use that.
[591] I would like a gift of Conan.
[592] High -fiving himself.
[593] And doesn't match.
[594] I want a giff of this.
[595] Conan high -fiving himself, like a dork.
[596] Nope.
[597] Like an absolute.
[598] Dork.
[599] Just high -fiving yourself.
[600] I run this show.
[601] No, look, my phone.
[602] No one likes you.
[603] Everyone loves me. Loved everywhere.
[604] Everyone wants to make you look foolish.
[605] Don't be foolish.
[606] You remember that from the 70s?
[607] You weren't alive yet.
[608] Not at all.
[609] Not at all.
[610] During the energy crisis.
[611] Stop bringing me into this.
[612] Leave me alone.
[613] Don't be foolish.
[614] Remember, don't be fuelish?
[615] Leave me alone.
[616] Both of you.
[617] During the energy crisis, they didn't want people to waste gasoline.
[618] So I remembered there was a thing that said, don't be fuel.
[619] F. He spelled out.
[620] Fuel.
[621] F -U -E -L -ish.
[622] And they said, don't be fuel -ish.
[623] And for some reason, that just popped out of my head, too.
[624] I don't know why.
[625] I think I'm having a major occlusion in the mind.
[626] It's the altitude.
[627] It is the altitude.
[628] We're up here.
[629] Do you notice that our breath?
[630] You can see our breath.
[631] You can see our breath.
[632] I thought that was the fire.
[633] No, it's the temperature.
[634] No, it's not that cold.
[635] You know what?
[636] I can see my breath.
[637] I think it may be the vapor in the air.
[638] Oh, the vapor?
[639] Or also, Sona had garlic.
[640] You know, it's really funny?
[641] When I was in your kitchen, oh, man, this killed me. And you heard my voice and you said, do you want garlic?
[642] And I said, do you have any?
[643] Like, you wouldn't have garlic.
[644] Yeah, that was really funny.
[645] Oh, we had a good laugh.
[646] Nobody had a good thing.
[647] Thanks, Sona.
[648] Take it.
[649] And do that too.
[650] No, no, no. Clip it out.
[651] Clip it out.
[652] The three times he's done it and do it again.
[653] Nope, nope.
[654] Okay.
[655] Loop it.
[656] Well, with cool terminology like that, there's no way they won't listen to you.
[657] Oh, man. I have seriously been questioning how my life has brought me to this point.
[658] I know.
[659] I'm so sorry, girls.
[660] I think it's because he's in my space and it's making me very...
[661] It is.
[662] There's a different energy here.
[663] Yeah.
[664] You're feeling invaded.
[665] Yeah.
[666] You're shitting on out to Dina.
[667] Hey, no, I'm not at all.
[668] I'm just mocking it.
[669] You know, in a shitty way.
[670] It's a very different thing.
[671] Hey, I have a question.
[672] How weird would it be if, let's say we weren't doing this tonight, okay?
[673] This was never happening.
[674] And you were getting ready for bed and kids are asleep, Tax turned in, okay, and you look out the window and you see something and you look closer and I'm in your yard right where I am sitting in this chair.
[675] Oh, no. In the dark for no reason.
[676] Wait, no. How freaked out would you be?
[677] Why is that?
[678] It's like Slenderman, right?
[679] Why do you think about those things?
[680] Mike Myers.
[681] Yeah, and I'm just sitting here like this.
[682] That's harrowing.
[683] But why are you sitting there?
[684] I don't.
[685] That's the weird thing is I don't know.
[686] I'm just sitting here and you're like, what the?
[687] And so you freak out, you wake up tax.
[688] He's like, oh, Grosolio, Sylvia, Syrivo.
[689] Oh, my God.
[690] No, no, English, English, Tech.
[691] And he's like, you know, what, what?
[692] And he rushes to the window and there's no chair and I'm not here.
[693] You're gone, yeah.
[694] Or, what?
[695] Then he goes back to sleep.
[696] You check one more time.
[697] No, that's really creepy.
[698] And I'm here, smiling just like this.
[699] That's so scary.
[700] Isn't that scary?
[701] That's really scary.
[702] What if we thought you, we didn't know it was you, and then he took his sword and he stabbed you with it.
[703] What's sword?
[704] Tack has a sword.
[705] You know who else brought a sword?
[706] today.
[707] Blade brought a gigantic sword that he got from the Renaissance Fair.
[708] Can we please talk about that for a second?
[709] He went to the Renaissance Fair and he bought a sword.
[710] Yeah, he was afraid he one day may have sex.
[711] So he quickly went to the Renaissance Fair to make sure that his celibacy would be insured for all time.
[712] Why did you bring a sword?
[713] Tack is the only other person I know who loves swords as much as I do and so I bought this cool sword, so I wanted to show Tack my cool sword.
[714] No one else likes swords.
[715] No, wait.
[716] It's not that we don't.
[717] First of all, it's just not much use for them in the modern world.
[718] That's all.
[719] I think once you have a sword, you find a lot of uses for it.
[720] Yeah.
[721] It's kind of like when you have a tool, you're like, oh, yeah, I could tighten this up.
[722] I could tighten this up, you know.
[723] Right.
[724] Slice things.
[725] Yeah.
[726] Instead of using the normal knife, you could use a sword.
[727] So what kind of sword does TAG have?
[728] TAC has like a, it's a more Japanese style sword.
[729] I don't know if it's a katana.
[730] I don't know if it's a katana.
[731] I don't know what it's called.
[732] I don't know what it's called.
[733] He's inside and I could ask him.
[734] A katana?
[735] I don't know.
[736] I don't know.
[737] I don't know, guys.
[738] I don't know what kind of sword it is.
[739] It's okay, let it go.
[740] But it's not like blaze sword.
[741] Blase sword is like...
[742] No, so that's...
[743] Yours is a medieval...
[744] That's a King Arthur sword.
[745] Jesus Christ.
[746] And it's sharp.
[747] And you brought that, you brought that just to show...
[748] It's okay.
[749] I can see it.
[750] That's good.
[751] Why didn't we roast a weenie with that?
[752] That's, you know what I mean?
[753] Do you might be asking how much you paid for that?
[754] How much did you pay for that?
[755] for it.
[756] How much did you pay for it?
[757] It was a deal.
[758] How much did you pay for it?
[759] I paid $380 for it.
[760] You're fired.
[761] Because you waste your money on shit.
[762] Good luck at the pawn shop.
[763] I'm sorry, Blay.
[764] I just need to deflect.
[765] He didn't mean to - you were there with a sword.
[766] He didn't mean to shame you.
[767] But I would, what if we stabbed you because we thought you were an intruder?
[768] That's what I'm talking about.
[769] No, this is just one of those things where I sometimes wonder.
[770] Just picture you looking out the window.
[771] No one's here.
[772] There's no reason for me to be here.
[773] And I'm just sitting in this chair and I have just a slight enigmatic smile.
[774] Ew.
[775] I don't like that.
[776] Are you lit up like this?
[777] Well, I have my natural pale skin that shines like a moon.
[778] I don't even know why you think of these things.
[779] I think of these things all the time.
[780] Wouldn't that be weird?
[781] Things like that are much scared than me than someone jumping out, hacking at you.
[782] Just a cone in your backyard sitting in a chair, smiling in the night when you don't think you're going to see them.
[783] What's more terrifying than that?
[784] There honestly is not anything I can think of that it's more terrifying than you're just sitting in my yard.
[785] I really do think that is really terrifying.
[786] But I get what you mean when you think about weird things.
[787] Yeah.
[788] Like there was the solo stove lighter fluid and it said, do not drink highly flammable.
[789] And I was like, what if I just drank it?
[790] Well, that's.
[791] Saying it out loud.
[792] That's a death wish.
[793] I know.
[794] I hear it.
[795] I hear it.
[796] It's not the same.
[797] is what you were thinking at all.
[798] It's terrible.
[799] Don't do that.
[800] Don't drink that.
[801] You're the mother of two beautiful boys.
[802] Yeah.
[803] Got out your whole life ahead of you.
[804] Don't do that.
[805] But what if it's also like, you know when you're on a rooftop bar or something and you're like, I'm just going to jump off?
[806] Oh, no. Oh, holy shit.
[807] Am I the only one who thinks these things?
[808] The worst I ever do is if I'm watching a play, I go, there's nothing stopping me from walking up on that stage and giving them all wedgies right now.
[809] Well, I think your physical strength would stop you.
[810] I don't care Who was in that play If it was a play of old women They would beat the shit out of you You know when we do life shows Sometimes I'm like I'm gonna say something really bad And my life is gonna be You mean like mistakenly or you're No like seriously bad words like Purposefully Like I don't know something I don't know racist or something I know I think about this all the time I'm not but I'm just saying like There's so much at stake What if I say something that's so bad my life is over.
[811] Yeah, but no one takes you seriously.
[812] No one, no one.
[813] No, no. People just think like, oh, that goofy sona, you don't what I mean?
[814] You think they won't take me seriously?
[815] Yeah, I don't.
[816] I think you're safe.
[817] Try some right now.
[818] No, I don't want to.
[819] That's the point.
[820] I'm like.
[821] You have a good heart.
[822] No one thinks it comes.
[823] But I'm just saying things that I shouldn't be thinking about.
[824] I think about a lot sometimes.
[825] And it's, I really, I thought everybody would be like, oh, yeah, I think about jumping off a roof sometimes when I'm out of a restaurant.
[826] But the fact that no one else.
[827] thinks that really makes me uncomfortable right now and I'm feeling a little awkward and vulnerable.
[828] I'm feeling very vulnerable.
[829] Child services is on the way.
[830] You just admitted your children are sleeping upstairs and you admitted you want to drink lighter fluid and then you want to jump off a roof.
[831] Oh my God.
[832] I think you're going to spend a couple of days.
[833] They're just going to be away from your kids, that's all.
[834] I really thought you guys would help me out with that.
[835] I don't know what to say.
[836] I'm sitting with a guy who wants to sit in a backyard all night to scare someone, a woman who wants to jump off a building and a guy who spent $380 on a sword.
[837] And I don't feel like a normal person, but you guys make me feel so sane.
[838] You're very sane.
[839] You're not sane.
[840] Yeah, he is.
[841] No, he's not.
[842] You're not a sane person.
[843] He's a little eccentric, but he's sane.
[844] But compared to you people, I'm just John Noah, die next door.
[845] You people?
[846] Who's racist now?
[847] What, listen?
[848] That's it.
[849] That's it.
[850] Oh, my God.
[851] So what are they killing?
[852] Who knows?
[853] It could be anything.
[854] Are those coyotes?
[855] What are those?
[856] Coyotes.
[857] That's a pack of Coyotes.
[858] That's Coyotes attacking an old game show host.
[859] They're tearing apart, wink Martindale right now.
[860] What do you think they're getting?
[861] A cat?
[862] It could be a cat.
[863] It could be a possum.
[864] It could be a raccoon.
[865] Don't list all animals in the world.
[866] Jesus, you're like the coat check at Noah's Ark. A horse?
[867] A horse?
[868] No, it wouldn't be a horse.
[869] Whoa.
[870] Oh, my God.
[871] That is so chilling.
[872] Did you hear that, ladies and gentlemen?
[873] That was crazy.
[874] I hope our mics picked that up.
[875] That was fantastic.
[876] I don't know.
[877] Do we have ambient mics that would pick that up?
[878] Yeah.
[879] We have ambient mics?
[880] I would imagine that was pretty loud.
[881] It was pretty loud.
[882] That was pretty, that's crazy.
[883] And you hear that all the time.
[884] All the time.
[885] Where's Tack?
[886] Is he around when this is happening?
[887] What if you've seen him?
[888] What if Tack was doing it?
[889] Oh, Tack's the guy?
[890] What if Tacks's a werewolf?
[891] What if when he says he's going to karate, he's really just going to kill creatures.
[892] I think that's an exotic excuse for I'm going to go out.
[893] You just say like I got to go to work and check on a few things.
[894] No one says I'm going to karate and that does something weird because karate in and of itself is kind of out there.
[895] Well, I'm going to go chop at the air while wearing pajamas.
[896] Really, I'm up to something kind of kooky.
[897] Do you know what I mean?
[898] It makes no sense.
[899] That martial art is hundreds of years old and you just tore it down to chopping the air while wearing pajamas.
[900] Well, anyway, I'm sorry.
[901] I hope.
[902] My apologies to an entire way of life.
[903] Yes.
[904] Listen, I think it's time.
[905] What better way to, my God, you can't hear this at home because these are very, these are directional mics.
[906] These mics have been set up by Eduardo.
[907] He had no idea that something that traumatic was going to happen.
[908] But the sound was absolutely thrilling.
[909] It's like a, this is like a real nature special.
[910] We are, it's nighttime.
[911] We're here in Altadena.
[912] And what sounded like maybe 15 or 20 coyotes just surrounded some animal, started shrieking and tore it asunder incredible and then it just gets quiet it gets a little moment of silence for that gone animal now they're fighting over the carcass no also like the bill I only had one paw why do I have to pay as much he had two he had two paws in the tail I'll get the tip he had two paws in the tail and I had one paw I didn't drink any of the blood he drank all the blood now they're fighting about that just going at it man incredible riffs that might be a new one this is a new one no now they're fighting about the tax I can't believe there's a food tax we're an Altadena you know we don't even have mail service well anyway let's wrap it up it's been another good episode of Goo Goo Golly in the Gum Gum Tree I think it's called Chill Chums for reasons I don't even remember anymore It's called fan service That's what Adam tells me Adam Sacks says This is fan service This is an all -timer episode Is this the same episode Where you guys argued about points?
[913] That was four hours ago And that was this episode Was that this episode?
[914] Holy Christ It's amazing you left And you built a house from scratch I did I went out and trained 15 wild coyotes All right.
[915] Well, thanks for listening to this episode of Chumeroonies.
[916] Chill chumeroo.
[917] I'm a guy that, well, this is where my career has brought me. We can end it.
[918] We can actually end this episode.
[919] I keep trying to, but you don't, no one helps me. It's you, then you do the end.
[920] You do the ending.
[921] Okay.
[922] You did end it.
[923] Take it easy.
[924] Finish it.
[925] The more you try to talk, the less you can talk.
[926] It's hilarious.
[927] do to end.
[928] Endy do.
[929] Endy do.
[930] Endy do.
[931] No, do, no, do, no, do, no, do.
[932] Oh, God.
[933] The more you try to end it, the less you end it.
[934] Ladies and gentlemen, from Altadena, this is Conan O 'Brien saying it's been nice.
[935] Oh, my God.
[936] Vodka with ice.
[937] I'm so close to my house and I feel so far away.
[938] You did this for 30 years.
[939] Just end it.
[940] Okay, well, that was easy.
[941] I go like, well, that's our time.
[942] Good night, everybody.
[943] You can do that.
[944] That's it.
[945] Stay tuned for last.
[946] call with Carson Daly I'm going to go spend 40 minutes wiping the makeup off my face in my tiny dressing room get out of it, buddy.
[947] Badoo do boom bap Bada do boo.
[948] Bada ab do boo.
[949] Bada ab do boo.
[950] So chums.
[951] Oh my God, they're back.
[952] It's another one.
[953] God, this is, you live in a you live in a horse.
[954] show.
[955] God.
[956] It's intense.
[957] It's intense.
[958] Summer Smoors with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Obsessian, and Matt Gourley.
[959] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
[960] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Leow, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.
[961] Theme song by the White Stripes.
[962] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
[963] Take it away, Jimmy.
[964] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
[965] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
[966] Additional production support by Mars Melnik.
[967] Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Khan.
[968] You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
[969] Got a question for Conan?
[970] Call the Team Coco hotline at 669 -587 -2847 and leave a message.
[971] It too could be featured on a future episode.
[972] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
[973] This has been a team Coco production in association with Earwolf.