MFM Minisode 344

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] I went way too early on that one.

[2] That's good.

[3] This is my favorite murder.

[4] Welcome.

[5] Welcome to my favorite murder.

[6] The mini, mini.

[7] Nope.

[8] The mini, mini.

[9] How are we getting more?

[10] I don't know.

[11] Yeah, it's going downhill.

[12] Jesus.

[13] Shit.

[14] I'll go first this time.

[15] You want me to?

[16] Yeah.

[17] Okay.

[18] This one's crazy.

[19] I'm not going to reach you the subject line.

[20] Hello, friends.

[21] I wanted to start by thanking you guys for making me laugh.

[22] The older I get, the harder it is to find little moments enjoyable.

[23] Although I've only been listening for about a year, I can't help feeling like I belong.

[24] I was first introduced to your podcast by my best friends, gay uncle.

[25] I might be 19, but I already know to, and this is in all caps, always listen to someone's gay uncle.

[26] Wait, did this person just say they're tired of life and they're 19?

[27] Oh, honey.

[28] It's time to go to therapy.

[29] Honey, look, there's a lot to be tired about these days.

[30] 90 or 19.

[31] Yeah.

[32] Also, yeah, gay uncles.

[33] That's awesome.

[34] I mean, the fucking deep wisdom of this 19 year old who's like, always listened to the gay uncles.

[35] Like, that will literally get you everywhere in this life.

[36] Truly.

[37] Okay.

[38] I was listening to Minnesota 336 when I heard the wonderful story about kid in a dryer.

[39] Boy, do I have a lot of appliance -related stories.

[40] You see, my father's family has been.

[41] doing appliance repair for decades.

[42] I'm part of the third generation learning this trade and with my Latin mother's idea of a work ethic, I've been opening washers, dryers, dishwashers, and other household appliances since I was five.

[43] My summers consisted of sitting in our back lot, tearing apart old appliances to sort and sell the metal to recycling plants.

[44] It wasn't the best place for a 10 year old, but the family needed help and that's all I could offer.

[45] It wasn't all bad.

[46] In the middle of the day my father would give me and my siblings an hour break to play and just be kids with appliances sprawling on our football field -sized lot refrigerators look like mountains and dryers look like caves we would spend our hours running and jumping from appliance to appliance imagining the wildest stories turning the handles of ovens into swords and sheets of metal into shields by far our favorite game was light wool boars and then it says it is exactly what it sounds like fucking that's so dangerous it's like fucking hucking light bulbs at each other's oh my it's like you scream somebody takes off running and you just try to peg them with a light bulb there's not a better game for children i've ever heard of with the hunger games franchise being at its peak in 2014 every kid loved a fight to the death battle royale no mercy kind of game we would gather light bulbs from the appliances and throw them at each other if you got hit you're out.

[47] There were only two rules.

[48] No headshots and stay on our property.

[49] As dangerous as this game sounds, nobody got seriously hurt.

[50] Oh, that's nice.

[51] Yeah.

[52] That's actually a miracle.

[53] In one particular game, my brother decided to hide from the rest of the competition.

[54] I remember my dad teaching us not to hide in old refrigerators because doors would latch from the outside and before the era of magnetically sealed refrigerators, kids could climb in and suffocate in the airtight chamber.

[55] Oh, yeah.

[56] That was a big fear back as children.

[57] That was a very special episode of Punky Brewster.

[58] Yes, it was.

[59] Yeah.

[60] And also I think I think there were in the late 70s, they would run like PSAs during cartoons.

[61] Yeah.

[62] Where it's like, don't, this is not fun or something like that.

[63] It was a real issue.

[64] And then it's like illegal to put a refrigerator out without taking the door off now, which is why you see refrigerators on the side of the road without doors.

[65] God, it's almost like we should.

[66] should regulate guns.

[67] Anyways, sorry to get political.

[68] It's almost like guns should have as much reform as refrigerators.

[69] As fucking refrigerators.

[70] He did tell us that other appliances wouldn't kill you because they always have some sort of vent and didn't latch from the outside like these 60s death traps.

[71] I'm glad my brother remembered that lesson.

[72] The unit he decided to seek shelter in was a clothes dryer.

[73] I managed to be in the final two, taking out my two sisters and my younger brother.

[74] This is like, oh, you could just feel the importance of this game.

[75] Yes.

[76] I was on the hunt for my older brother.

[77] I searched everywhere and there was no sign of him.

[78] Eventually, our hour of play was running out.

[79] We gave up and started yelling that I was forfeiting the game and that he won, but he still wouldn't come out.

[80] Eventually, we had to call the adults to help us.

[81] After 10 minutes of searching, my dad and I heard yelling from a dryer that had fallen over.

[82] over on its front with the door facing the ground.

[83] Oh, my God.

[84] We flipped it back upright and opened the door.

[85] There was my brother red hot and sweating.

[86] He had been in a dryer for 30 minutes in 90 -plus degree dry desert heat of Salt Lake City.

[87] Everyone was okay and our parents still let us play the game.

[88] Oh, my God.

[89] But none of us ever tried climbing into a dryer again.

[90] Stay sexy.

[91] Don't hide in old refrigerators.

[92] and always listen to gay uncles, Levi, he, him.

[93] I, God, I love that story so much.

[94] Levi, we need more of your stories, please.

[95] We'll just do an extra episode of just Levi's playing stories.

[96] Because also, I really love coming from an Irish family who, like, my dad had a paper route when he was, like, seven years old.

[97] Like, the idea where it's like, hey, sorry, you have to work here.

[98] Yeah.

[99] It's very common and very, like, regular.

[100] And so then it makes those people.

[101] periods of time where then you get to just be a kid, like so heightened.

[102] And then in that moment, they play, they find a game like light bulb wars.

[103] It's like so high level.

[104] Like, oh, I just love that.

[105] They had an hour to get like a lunch break to get like all the fun of childhood in.

[106] Yeah.

[107] There was like, you know, one rule.

[108] Don't go in a fridge.

[109] And it was just like fucking all out.

[110] And no headshots.

[111] Real nice.

[112] No light bulbs to the eyes.

[113] or face.

[114] I think that was one of the greats.

[115] Oh.

[116] Yeah, that was pretty epic.

[117] I love that.

[118] This one's called Clock Tower Murder Weapon, Treasure Trove.

[119] Bonjour, friends.

[120] Oh.

[121] I'm in the middle of listening to Minnesota 338, and you just asked for things found in clock stories.

[122] What the fuck?

[123] Listen, I have about a million things to do as we speak, but I had to hit pause on the minisode and the show.

[124] should I have to do to tell you this story.

[125] Buckle up.

[126] Nice.

[127] My dad was a clockmaker, which means he didn't make clocks.

[128] He fixed them.

[129] Interesting.

[130] Also known as a horologist.

[131] He was always the youngest guy in the business, as unfortunately, horology is a dying art, and there are less and less schools and clockmakers left to pass on the tradition.

[132] This means that his contemporaries were all old dudes with old stories.

[133] Sounds boring, right?

[134] Not this time.

[135] One of the older gentleman he worked closely with had the contract to fix an upkeep the clock in the clock tower in our city.

[136] It was a big job as a city had neglected the old clock for many years.

[137] I think this is how Back to the Future starts.

[138] They just start describing the movie.

[139] Yeah.

[140] It was upstairs in the original courthouse that had an entranceway through a small hatch in a supply closet in the men's bathroom.

[141] That's how old it was.

[142] It was like women don't need to go.

[143] What are they going to do, fix the clock?

[144] I don't think so.

[145] The first time he entered the hatch, he had to climb a steep, dusty, wooden staircase up to the landing where the clock was.

[146] At the top of the landing was a section of plaster wall with many names and dates scrawled into it from the 1900s through the 1940s.

[147] Years later, I got to go up in the tower with my dad and I saw this myself.

[148] It was beautiful and eerie at the same time.

[149] And then it says, I have a grainy picture of it on an old blackberry somewhere.

[150] while this time capsule wall was a treasure in itself that wasn't the best part the story goes as he started moving dusty crates and boxes to clear some space to work on the clock he noticed what was actually in the boxes he saw a rusty old axe an old knife and then he read the label on the box he had in his hands it said evidence what my dad's friend had inadvertently found himself in the middle love was the storage room for the old courthouse.

[151] They used the clock tower to store evidence from the trials.

[152] He found boxes upon boxes of murder weapons and physical evidence for trials as early as 1850 when the courthouse was built.

[153] Okay, sorry, what's wrong with the basement?

[154] The clock tower that you can only access through the men's bathroom trap door.

[155] Yeah, yeah, that's a great place.

[156] say, hey, let's hide it, is essentially what they...

[157] Yeah, maybe they just, like, I wonder if there's, I wonder if there's logic to that that's like, you just don't want whoever going in there.

[158] Maybe it was cases that had already been, like, tried and, you know, convicted and they thought they wouldn't need them anymore.

[159] It's fascinating.

[160] Yeah.

[161] No one seemed to think this was a bad idea at the time.

[162] And when the new courthouse was built just a block away, they must have chosen or forgotten to do anything with the old evidence they had stashed up in the sketchy stairs.

[163] Needless to say, my dad's...

[164] friend left that day and made some calls to the local authorities, and one of the local museums came to collect the weapons cash he had found.

[165] My dad told me this story when I was a teenager, and I will never forget it.

[166] What my little murderer in our heart would have done to go back and see that room the way it was when it was found.

[167] Sadly, my dad passed away a few years ago, so I'm not able to ask him if he's found anything good in any of the clocks that he fixed over the years.

[168] Anyway, I love you, ladies, and all that you do, thanks for helping me get through the loss of my dad.

[169] I literally could not have done it without you.

[170] Oh.

[171] Stay sexy and don't forget the murder weapons in the clock tower.

[172] Rochelle.

[173] Well, Rochelle, I'm sorry you lost your dad, but great story.

[174] Thank you.

[175] Yeah.

[176] Also, kind of legendary dad career.

[177] Oh, for sure.

[178] Fascinating.

[179] Yeah.

[180] It's like kids who know about cars because their dads are interested in cars.

[181] What's that like?

[182] Yeah.

[183] I don't know.

[184] It's like, I wouldn't know.

[185] No, she knows everything about clocks.

[186] That's so cool.

[187] Yeah.

[188] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[189] Absolutely.

[190] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[191] Exactly.

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[204] important note that promo code is all lowercase go to shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today that's shopify .com slash murder goodbye okay this says carnival rock climbing wall story hello since you've been asking for carnival stories here you go oh great we did that too years ago when i was about 20 i went to the county fair with a group of my friends we did all the fair things, but saved the rides for last, so it would be cooler and all of the children would be home in bed.

[205] Yeah, man, that's cooler.

[206] At the very end of the night, we rode the zipper one last time before heading home.

[207] As we walked to the parking lot, we passed the climbing wall.

[208] All of my friends told me that I had to try the challenge climb, because you could win a prize if you reach the top.

[209] Even though I've been rock climbing for years, maybe nine or ten at the time, I refused to try it, because it was obviously a scam and rigged to be impossible.

[210] Plus, it was $10 for two minutes of my embarrassing misery.

[211] My friend paid before I could stop him, so I was committed.

[212] I had literally just gotten off the zipper, so I was still a little woozy, but I kicked off my flip -flops, put on a harness, and clipped in.

[213] The wall itself was made of slick plastic, and the small rocks bolted to the wall were also slippery.

[214] I managed to stick to the wall with my feet, and then in parentheses, it says, literally so gross, I know.

[215] And then says, and hold on to the divots where the bolts were holding the rocks to the wall with the tips of my fingers.

[216] Slowly, carefully, and with a bad attitude, I climbed to the top and grabbed the janky flag that was zip tied to the top of the wall.

[217] My friends were elated.

[218] The person working didn't believe that I hadn't cheated.

[219] So luckily, someone had taken a video.

[220] This was years ago before taking a video of everything was a given.

[221] The guy watched the video and without much emotion said he'd be back.

[222] He turned and disappeared into the dark behind the climbing wall.

[223] As we waited for him to return, Carnival workers started wandering over since their riots had closed down for the night.

[224] Word was spreading that someone had done the challenge climb.

[225] Before I knew it, two cronerval workers had hoisted me onto their sweaty shoulders and were marching me around.

[226] It was surreal.

[227] After they put me down, someone told me that I was the first person that entire summer to do the challenge climb, but it was, quote, pretty sad that it was a girl who was the first one.

[228] Oh.

[229] Thanks, dude.

[230] The first guy eventually emerged from the darkness with my prize, an Xbox.

[231] What?

[232] Yeah.

[233] Holy shit.

[234] That's why they had to make that wall so slippery.

[235] They can't just be given those things out.

[236] Yeah.

[237] And then it says, ellipsies, which I sold to my brother's best friend.

[238] Yeah.

[239] Love you all so much, including all of the murderinos.

[240] stay sexy, ride the zipper, and give in to peer pressure, love A. That's rad.

[241] The triumph of that story is like, so great.

[242] Heartwarming.

[243] Yeah.

[244] I think people that work at the fair or carnival, they've seen a lot of shit.

[245] They're not just going to throw any old kid up on their shoulders and parade them around.

[246] Like, that's a big deal.

[247] Definitely.

[248] Oh, my God.

[249] Okay, this one's called sleepwalking in my hometown and others.

[250] Karen, Georgia, Stephen.

[251] Longtime listener, even longer time, sleepwalker.

[252] Sleepwalking stories have been my go -to for icebreakers and party small talk for years, and I thought they might be up your alley, too.

[253] Sleepwalking for me is typically similar to when you wake up on Saturday and think you're late for work.

[254] I bolt out of bed and panic, eventually collect myself, and go back to bed.

[255] Some nights I do this as often as once an hour.

[256] Great for anxiety.

[257] Oh, no. I imagine.

[258] Once a month or so, however, sleep me really raises the stakes.

[259] I have a million of them, but my favorite is.

[260] A few years ago, I was in a hotel alone in Minneapolis.

[261] Obviously, my memory of this is spotty, but my version goes like this.

[262] In the middle of the night, someone knocked on my door.

[263] I went to see who it was and got locked in the hallway.

[264] I knocked on my own door forever to get back in before waking up and realizing no one was in there to let me in.

[265] I woke up sitting at the foot of a bed watching an old martial arts movie.

[266] I flinched when I heard from nearby, are you back?

[267] Are you with me?

[268] A man sitting on the corner of the other bed passed me the phone.

[269] I'm not sure how long I had been there, but this very patient guy waited with me until I was awake.

[270] Oh, my God.

[271] And says, I assume I knocked on his door and then talked gibberish until he parked me in front of the TV.

[272] Because I didn't fully have my bearings yet, I tried to call my room a few times.

[273] before realizing, duh, I'm not there to answer it.

[274] My new best friend called the front desk for me, and they sent someone to take me back to my room.

[275] One floor up.

[276] Holy shit.

[277] Who knows how many doors I knocked on and if I took the elevator or the stairs, but this guy really did me a solid by staying chill and not murdering me. And who knows, maybe he even let me pick the movie.

[278] I'm sure he's been telling this story ever since.

[279] too.

[280] Oh, and everyone always asked what I was wearing.

[281] Quit being weird.

[282] I had on shorts and a t -shirt.

[283] Quit being weird.

[284] Some other quick sleepwalking greatest hits.

[285] I fell asleep on the CTA red line train in Chicago, took it to the end of the line, got out, and walked a block.

[286] Took all the clothes out of a dresser drawer, stepped them in a suitcase, and put the suitcase at my front door.

[287] Woke up with my pockets full of granola bar wrappers, assumed a I'd eaten them all, found the box full of unwrapped bars safely in the cabinet later.

[288] Can you imagine to sleep?

[289] You walk in the kitchen and there's just someone fucking like your roommate is.

[290] Separating out.

[291] Just making all those granola bars stale immediately.

[292] And the last one is text to a friend.

[293] Oh, no. Whitney Houston died like five years after she died.

[294] It's still affecting all of us to this day.

[295] Truly, truly.

[296] Stay sexy and in bed, Ryan.

[297] Oh, man. I love sleepwalk stories.

[298] Send them, please.

[299] That is, it's so, it must be really unnerving.

[300] It must be scary.

[301] Oh, my God.

[302] The only thing that ever happened to me that was like I could understand that from is I once woke up on the couch as like a teenager.

[303] Like I was sleeping.

[304] The phone started ringing and I started grabbing for the cordless phone that was sitting on the couch and I just kept grabbing it and I couldn't pick it up and I couldn't answer the phone.

[305] And as I'm coming to you, I realized I was grabbing my foot.

[306] It was just my foot that I thought was the cordless phone.

[307] And it was the fucking weirdest.

[308] It was ringing.

[309] But the phone was like somewhere else.

[310] But I just was like trying to answer my foot.

[311] And basically you went from understanding what's happening in dream to like you you watched yourself come up out of that.

[312] And then that's the weird thing.

[313] Normally we don't experience the switching from dreaming to being awake.

[314] And you like basically.

[315] I was just like, what is happening?

[316] What in the hell?

[317] Okay.

[318] The subject line of this email is, my dad has an 80s era world record.

[319] Good morning, ladies.

[320] Good morning.

[321] I like that.

[322] I'm writing you from the sweaty underbust of America, South Texas.

[323] Oh, it's so hot there.

[324] So, God, so so hot.

[325] I was listening to the latest episode called Why Pigeons, and you, every time I hear those titles.

[326] And y 'all were saying how big the Guinness Book of World Records was in the 80s and I knew I needed to write in.

[327] My dad was born in 65 and grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah.

[328] As you can imagine, being a Mormon teenager in the 80s was quite boring.

[329] They didn't drink, didn't do drugs and didn't really get into any trouble whatsoever.

[330] So what else do you do?

[331] You break a world record, of course.

[332] Imagine it.

[333] The year is 1982.

[334] My dad and his friends were 16 through 17.

[335] They decided to break a world record for jumping on the trampoline as a group.

[336] They called the Guinness people.

[337] I don't know if they have official names.

[338] And they set a date.

[339] A few weeks later, a Guinness guy came out and watched seven teenagers jump on a trampoline for 37 hours.

[340] All of this is a time capsule.

[341] And that is insane.

[342] My dad said that they were allowed 10 minutes every hour to go to the bathroom, get food, etc. but one of them had to be jumping at all times so they took staggered breaks after 37 hours they called it and they were officially the world record holders for a group trampoline jumping my dad still has the plaque that they give you and this is his number one go -to party story yeah hell yeah it is you walk through the door of that party yelling i am a guinness world record holder they were the only world record holders for a few weeks and then the and someone else jumped for longer than them.

[343] But oh my God, that's heartbreaking.

[344] That is heartbreaking.

[345] For a few weeks, you don't even get it for a year?

[346] Totally.

[347] But those few weeks were the most glorious of their teenage lives.

[348] Thanks for all you do.

[349] I look forward to episodes every week, so I have something to listen to while my toddler watches blippy, Megan.

[350] Oh, my God, Megan.

[351] That is great.

[352] I just love that our listeners know the assignment.

[353] Like we didn't ask.

[354] We just talked about it for a minute.

[355] And then of course we want to know your fucking dad's world record story.

[356] Of course we do.

[357] We want to know was your dad the Guinness guy that went to watch teenagers trampoline jump for 37 hours?

[358] What about that story?

[359] What was his life?

[360] Was he on the road all the time finding rando Guinness fucking people?

[361] Did he have a special stopwatch?

[362] Did he have a backup stopwatch?

[363] Like clipboard?

[364] What's the deal?

[365] Anything.

[366] What is going on?

[367] Anything at all.

[368] Oh, my God.

[369] Amazing.

[370] Okay, my last one's called Afterlife Story.

[371] I let my child watch someone die.

[372] And then it says, instead of lighthearted, it says, happy.

[373] Okay, if you insist, it doesn't sound great right now.

[374] Got to tell you.

[375] Yeah.

[376] Hi there.

[377] You asked for afterlife stories.

[378] So here's a sweet one.

[379] I will never forget.

[380] Nine years ago, we said goodbye to my Papa.

[381] During his final moments as he passed away, my son Rockwell, only a year old at the time, was in the room.

[382] And I remember worrying if he should be there at all as we were all grieving, crying, and weeping.

[383] And I didn't want to upset him.

[384] But he was quiet and calm, so I thought he's just a baby.

[385] He won't remember any of this.

[386] Then fast forward a few years.

[387] He's three years old.

[388] I'm scrolling on Facebook and this picture of my papa holding him as newborn pops up and Rockwell asked to see it.

[389] After looking it over a minute, he said, hey, I like that guy.

[390] I told him this was his great Papa, who he had been as a little baby, but was now in heaven.

[391] Oh, yeah, I know, he replied, matter -of -factly.

[392] I paused and said, you know?

[393] Because I had never really talked to him about his Papa dying or the fact that he was in the room when it happened.

[394] And it says, because why would you?

[395] Yeah, exactly.

[396] And then with the innocent, genuineness, only a child can possess, he looked up at me with sweet, sincere eyes and said very seriously, Yes, I know, Mama.

[397] I was there, and I saw all the angels that day.

[398] I was simultaneously hit with disbelief, a little freaked out, and emotional all at once.

[399] I just started bawling.

[400] Quote, everyone was so sad, but the angels weren't, and he was happy.

[401] Oh.

[402] He said and shrug and went back to playing a game on his tablet.

[403] He's 10 years old now, and when I ask him about it, he doesn't remember, but I truly believe he saw, quote, all the angels that day.

[404] Stay sexy and know that sometimes kids see things we don't, Courtney.

[405] I know.

[406] And he was happy.

[407] And he was happy.

[408] Similar to the one from the last show we just recorded.

[409] Yeah.

[410] I like that theme.

[411] Oh.

[412] Amazing.

[413] Another amazing batch.

[414] These are great.

[415] Another great batch.

[416] If you want to send yours in, if you want to be a contender, send it to my favorite murder at Gmail.

[417] It's not, the pressure is not as high as that.

[418] It's really not.

[419] story.

[420] You know what that includes.

[421] Yeah.

[422] Yeah.

[423] Because all your friends who filled up this minisode just showed it to you.

[424] So do what they did and then some.

[425] Exactly.

[426] And in the meantime, stay sexy.

[427] And don't get murdered.

[428] Give it.

[429] Yay.

[430] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[431] This has been an exactly right production.

[432] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[433] This episode was edited and mixed by Liana Squalach.

[434] Email your hometowns and fucking hooray.

[435] to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[436] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at My Fave Murder.

[437] Goodbye.

[438] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

[439] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[440] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase My Favorite Murder merch.