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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Really quick announcement before we start the minisode, we're having some big changes to the website and to the fan cult.
[17] So if you are a fan cult member, keep in on.
[18] on your inbox for updates and important information over the next coming days.
[19] And for everyone, we have a big, exciting special announcement that we're going to be letting you know about on Instagram live.
[20] So be sure to follow us.
[21] So that'll be on Wednesday on Halloween at 8 .30 Pacific Time.
[22] Check it out.
[23] Instagram.
[24] My favorite murder.
[25] Goodbye.
[26] This is my favorite murder.
[27] The minisode.
[28] This is a special spooky Halloween.
[29] Spooky Halloween.
[30] Ooh.
[31] That's my friend Patty Riley, who I lived in the haunted house with, for some reason.
[32] And I think it was because there was like a card somebody got sent.
[33] But we used to say that to each other.
[34] Spooky Halloween instead of happy Halloween.
[35] That was, hello.
[36] Spooky Halloween, everybody.
[37] Okay, we're reading you.
[38] Your scary ghost stories.
[39] Guys, you knocked it out of the park.
[40] Way to go.
[41] I'm terrified.
[42] Are you ready?
[43] Yes.
[44] Okay.
[45] This first one, I I'm going to, I'm going to censor the subject line.
[46] Okay.
[47] So I'm just going to tell you that the subject line is trick or treat.
[48] Okay.
[49] But that's not the whole one.
[50] Dear MFM team, I love it.
[51] I love that official borderline military feel to that greeting.
[52] A long time listener, love the show, love your pets, and I love the community.
[53] After listening to Georgia's Halloween story last week, I had to share my favorite memory of a tainted Halloween treat.
[54] I grew up in Canton, Ohio, which is a working class town about an hour.
[55] south of Cleveland.
[56] We're famous for the pro football Hall of Fame.
[57] Who cares?
[58] And for showing up on lists like worst American cities to live in and most dangerous small cities.
[59] Oh my God.
[60] Love it.
[61] Okay.
[62] To set the scene, it's 1991.
[63] I'm nine years old and I'm trick -or -treating with my six -year -old brother in the nicer part of our neighborhood.
[64] We walk up to our aunt's house and get our candy.
[65] Mom tells us to go to the next few houses and she'll catch up as she finishes talking to my aunt.
[66] Uh -huh.
[67] She finishes her Shabbly.
[68] Yep.
[69] And her big long Benson and Hedges Lights 100.
[70] That's right.
[71] Thrilled with this newfound trick -or -treat freedom, we head off.
[72] However, we quickly realize there's a problem.
[73] We look up the walkway to the next house, and we see the neighbor.
[74] Picture Bob from Twin Peaks.
[75] Oh, no. Uh -huh.
[76] Sitting on the front stairs.
[77] He looks scary, but it's free candy, right?
[78] Right.
[79] Um, my little brother and I look at each other in horror as Bob reaches his grimy hand into a large bag of potato chips.
[80] and proceeds to place handfuls of loose potato chips into the trick -or -treater candy bag.
[81] Oh my God, that's disgusting.
[82] We freeze because we're supposed to be polite and take the nice man's potato chips, right?
[83] Wrong.
[84] We turned around and high -tailed it the fuck out of there.
[85] This psycho is giving children handfuls of loose potato chips run.
[86] To this day, my little brother and I dissolved into a pile of giggles at the thought of that creep and his loose potato chips were the chips plan a did he run out of candy and turn to what he considered the next best option were the chips plan a was he just trolling the neighborhood we'll never know sSDGM and happy Halloween christina that's that's great lose potato chips lose potato chips in a trick or treat bag just sullying all the candy you have so far just ruined ruining it Okay, this is called Some Spooky shit for Halloween And then a sidebar Cats know Oh That's right Elvis Yes Elvis Hi guys and gals No, hi guy and gals Oh Steven I thought no that it's almost Halloween It would be a good time For me to write in about my spooky paranormal experience I grew up in a small town in Colorado In a house that was super far away from other houses And it was unanimously Agreed Was haunted as hell All of the spooky was reported happening in the same room, the TV room in the basement.
[87] Of course.
[88] The stories mostly happened during parties with my friends hearing fucked up things or people acting weird in the wee hours of the morning.
[89] Except one time when a hippie lady stayed with us down there and told us she heard things screaming in the walls, which we decided to blame on raccoons and move on.
[90] They're a good catch -all those raccoons.
[91] Goodbye.
[92] My personal experience happened when I was about 17.
[93] My parents were out of town and decided to leave me in the Well, Miss Haunted House alone.
[94] My dad was allergic to cats, so they had to stay outside in our garage.
[95] But I was spooked, so I brought the homies inside.
[96] It's fucking right.
[97] That's right.
[98] We went downstairs.
[99] Because they're really going to help you when you get killed.
[100] Cats milling around as you're murdered.
[101] I'm just like so sad at the idea of a fucking garage full of cats.
[102] Just like nothing as a cat person makes me more sad.
[103] Uh -da -da -da -da -da -da -ha.
[104] Homies inside.
[105] We went downstairs to watch some TV and I settled into the couch face.
[106] the TV with my back to the majority of the room.
[107] One of my cats, Tito, was on my lap and uncharacteristically really on edge.
[108] He kept tilting up and staring over my shoulder at the same corner.
[109] I would turn around and look where he was looking and, of course, nothing was there, but he would just stare.
[110] He did this several times.
[111] He would go from purring and drooling in my lap to high alert with all his hair on end and staring at the same fucking corner over my shoulder.
[112] Then suddenly he hissed and bolted out of the room.
[113] I decided not today, Satan, and booked it upstairs to my room, where he was waiting for me on my bed, acting like nothing happened.
[114] So I got in bed and finally calmed down and up to fall asleep.
[115] The next thing I knew, I had opened my eyes and my nose was an inch away from a wall.
[116] As I started to come to, I realized where I was.
[117] That's right.
[118] I fucking sleptwalk to the corner in the basement.
[119] I freaked out.
[120] I'm freaking out.
[121] And sprinted upstairs and launched in my bed.
[122] I checked my phone and it was roughly 303 a .m. And in the morning, meaning that I must have been in the corner almost exactly at 3 a .m. The witching hour.
[123] Uh -huh.
[124] Is it?
[125] I mean, yeah.
[126] Nothing like that has ever happened to me since.
[127] And we are now selling the home.
[128] My mom used to tell my sister and I that the spirits have watched us grow up.
[129] And so aren't a threat to us, but might be mad about something else.
[130] But still, fuck that corner.
[131] Thanks for the awesome podcast.
[132] Stay sexy and trust your cat.
[133] Taylor.
[134] And then next to Taylor in parentheses, it says, girl.
[135] Girl.
[136] Taylor, girl.
[137] Taylor's a female.
[138] Taylor, girl.
[139] Taylor's a good story.
[140] That's right.
[141] Trust your cats.
[142] God, that's upsetting.
[143] To fucking sleepwalk and then wake up in the basement in a corner.
[144] In the bad corner.
[145] Like if I woke up and I had a slip walk to the pod loft, which is a relatively like spirit free safe place, I would be freaked out.
[146] Oh, yeah.
[147] No, no, no. There's no good place.
[148] You could be like, you could sleepwalk to the freezer where all the ice cream is and still be freaking the fuck out.
[149] Right, but to the fucking corner where your cat was pissing at?
[150] To the Blair Witch corner where the bad children go right before they're murdered?
[151] Exactly.
[152] At 3 .04 a .m. That's right.
[153] Yoy!
[154] Spooky Halloween, dear.
[155] Okay.
[156] This next one is subject line, uh, my crazy neighbor, a Halloween tale.
[157] Okay.
[158] Hello, MFM family.
[159] A while back you asked for crazy neighbor stories.
[160] Did we?
[161] I bet we didn't.
[162] I love it.
[163] I'm proud of the past us.
[164] Yes.
[165] Um, um, I don't remember the past.
[166] Do it.
[167] I love it.
[168] And with Halloween coming up, I figured I'd send this one in.
[169] I grew up in a small Pennsylvania town in a quiet neighborhood.
[170] There was never a lot going on.
[171] So we had to do what we could to entertain ourselves.
[172] For my neighbor's catty corner from us, this meant getting really into the holidays, especially Halloween.
[173] Think haunted house in their garage, crazy long decor, blasting the theme from Halloween, as soon as the sun started to go down.
[174] Quite frankly, it was amazing.
[175] okay now I'm sorry to sidebar this already but I told you and Vince this when we were on tour but the last time we recorded in the pod loft at Georgia's house I went when we were done and we're always done at like 11 1030 I went down to my car that was parked in her garage and somebody was sitting in their car in the garage in the creepy ass garage of my apartment building house a fucking creepy like 80s Japanese horror movie garage yes it's very it just seems like somewhere about thing would happen.
[176] Somebody was sitting in their car blasting the themed Halloween.
[177] That's so fucked up.
[178] So it was, I could tell if you were sitting in the car, it would be making your ears bleed.
[179] But outside the car, it was just plain loud.
[180] Oh, my God.
[181] Who?
[182] And at first I was like, it's October and somebody's.
[183] And then as I was getting on my way to the car, I wanted to get into the car so bad.
[184] And my car unlocks automatically when you approach it because I have the key.
[185] Yeah.
[186] And I still was trying to open it with the key.
[187] Yeah.
[188] Because I was so freaked out by the time I got there Because that music is so fucking It's like, who would do that?
[189] It's bad keyboard.
[190] That one, right?
[191] Yes.
[192] No, I'm doing it.
[193] Why am I adding a flourish in it?
[194] Your version's perfect.
[195] Thank you.
[196] Okay.
[197] Anyway, that's my personal experience.
[198] Spooky Elvis.
[199] Elvis is so spooky.
[200] Okay.
[201] And, oh, they said about the neighbor's decorations, quite frankly, it was amazing.
[202] one Halloween when I was in high school a group of friends and I were at my house preparing to go out trick or treating and then in parentheses too old I think you're never too old to score some free candy there was a knock on the side door so thinking it was a friend of mine or an appropriately aged trick or treater I went to answer it standing on the other side of our glass storm door silhouetted in the dark was a full grown man dressed as Michael Myers no he didn't say a word he just stood there brandishing a knife and staring at me No. And yes, the Halloween theme was playing from across the street.
[203] Naturally, I immediately gasped and ran away.
[204] My friends all freaked out when I told them and then freaked out even more when Mike showed up at the window.
[205] What a dick.
[206] He didn't speak.
[207] He just stood there.
[208] We continued to run around the house only to have him appear at the windows until we realized some time had passed and we had no idea where he had gone.
[209] So after losing our shit for a while, one of my guy friends decided he was going to be macho and go.
[210] machoism parentheses or quotes and go see where this fucker had gone and went outside he came back five minutes later with a weird look on his face and told us to follow him around the side of the house there we found my neighbor at the bottom of our stone cellar stairs masked by his side clutching his broken ankle he had fallen in while trying to sneak around our house in the dark luckily he wasn't more injured because he seriously could have broken his neck falling seven feet down the stairs to the bottom.
[211] That is not how I expected this to end.
[212] The knife ended up being fake, of course.
[213] Thank God.
[214] Or else, that could have also ended really badly.
[215] Oh, my God.
[216] Needless to say, he ended up needing physical therapy, and he never tried to scare us like that again.
[217] Stay sexy and maybe leave your neighbors alone, Allison.
[218] What a fucking dick.
[219] That's what you get, you fucking grown man, for trying to scare a little kiss.
[220] Seriously, he fucking paid the price immediately.
[221] He was just running around trying to.
[222] scared them and he fucking just fell down seven fucking oh what a piece of shit I love I love that so much oh I love that so much so funny being an adult sucks I mean you know what would be really funny is if this new version of Halloween came out the new Jamie Lee Curtis which is apparently like breaking box office records and so huge and amazing but it would be funny if like that's the way they finally stop Michael Meyer yeah he trips yeah they just do a little funny pit uh a trap pit for him yeah or what if he it's not on purpose though he like trips over like the neighbor cat tries to like cuddle up with him and like twice up his legs and he falls and starts crying he's like I hurt my I hurt myself and I hurt other people yeah I'm sorry I just wanted to touch it he like he walking through backyards you know there's that one great shot of him and he's like in between the sheets that are blowing in the wind yes and then he walks forward and it chokes himself on one of the laundry lines It's caught up in the sheets.
[223] Oh, I'm sorry.
[224] I'm sorry.
[225] I'm sorry.
[226] Okay.
[227] This is called friendly ghost story.
[228] It's Chicago.
[229] Hi, MFM fan.
[230] Thank you so much for making ghost stories fair game for minisodes because I have been so excited to share this old ghost story that has been past through generations of my family.
[231] Sweet.
[232] You people are the best.
[233] Okay, here it is.
[234] So it was smack dab in the middle of the Great Depression in Chicago, and my great grandpa was struggling, like everyone else, to provide food and shelter for his wife and several small children.
[235] One day he heard word that a local bank had a job available.
[236] He immediately dropped what he was doing and sprinted to the bank, but already a huge crowd of men had gathered who all wanted the job.
[237] And then it says in parentheses, what, I've messed up time.
[238] It really was.
[239] Tell me about it.
[240] No women.
[241] Couldn't work there.
[242] Okay.
[243] He waited for hours, but never made it to the front of the line.
[244] And eventually the boss man from the bank announced that the job had been filled and they should all go home.
[245] Totally defeated.
[246] My great grandpa went to the local pub sure and then it says good for you grandpa as he is sitting drinking a beer the man sat down next him at a bar he ordered a drink and they got to talking after several minutes of chatting the man out of the blue goes you should go back to the bank they have a job available my great grandpa was like no i was just there and they hired someone else the man was like nope they have a job available and my great grandpa was like no they don't this continues and i guess my great grandpa was pretty annoyed with the guy eventually was like fine whatever i'll go back he thought that the guy It was completely bonkers, but something in him made him walk back to the bank.
[247] Like expected, when he got back, it was bank business as usual.
[248] There was no crowd and the posting for the job had been taken down.
[249] He was about to turn around and leave when the bank doors open and the bank boss man is ushering someone out.
[250] Then he pointed to my great grandpa and said, you here for the job?
[251] My great grandpa was in shock but somehow pulled himself together enough to ace an interview and get hired.
[252] Turns out that the guy the boss man was ushered outside was the one they had originally hired, something didn't work out.
[253] As soon as my great grandpa was done with the paperwork at the bank, he ran back to the pub because he wanted to find the man who sat next to him to thank him for somehow knowing the bank job would be open again.
[254] You're crying already.
[255] I'm going to cry.
[256] But when he got back, the man was gone.
[257] He asked the bartender, did you know the man who was sitting next to me?
[258] I need to find him.
[259] And the bartender said, I don't know what you're talking about.
[260] There hasn't been anybody sitting next to you.
[261] Sorry.
[262] That's exactly right.
[263] That's exactly right.
[264] I bet you were crazy because you were talking to yourself the whole time.
[265] No!
[266] My great -grandpa was totally confused as he walked home.
[267] My family is convinced that that bank job saved him and his family.
[268] And so also my mom, my siblings, and me. My Irish Catholic family thinks the mysterious man was an angel, but I don't know.
[269] Friendly ghost seems more likely to me. Stay sexy and always do what your friendly pub ghost tells you to do, Bridget.
[270] Can I say, Bridget, what I think it was?
[271] Yes.
[272] Because in the Great Depression, in the crash of 1929, all those bankers killed themselves and I bet you is a fucking banker from that bank and it's the reason one of the jobs was open and he fucking went there it was his job it was his job or his bank because why would he even be in there that bank or no or haunt that bank oh I love it scary I love it yeah I should have seen that one for last shit sorry no because there's this one okay go there are because these are also I know.
[273] Good job, Stephen.
[274] Good job picking those Stevens.
[275] Stephen, you did it.
[276] Stephen hasn't been here for 25 years.
[277] Why are you talking to yourself, Georgia?
[278] Now, what's that voice?
[279] Now I'm foghorn, leghorn, all of a sudden.
[280] We've gone completely away from an old miner.
[281] Okay.
[282] A ghost strangled my boyfriend and I puked.
[283] That's the subject line.
[284] Enough said.
[285] I once threw up a whole cranberry and chicken salad in a packed restaurant because of a ghost.
[286] Here's what led up to that shining moment.
[287] Shit.
[288] About five months before the vomit incident, I was sleeping in my boyfriend's room.
[289] His room was always brightly lit from an obnoxious streetlight that shone in through his window like a floodlight.
[290] Oh, fuck that shit.
[291] Around four, no shades in your town?
[292] Yeah.
[293] Around 4 .15 a .m., I woke to the sound of my boyfriend yelling no, no, and struggling in his bed.
[294] I looked over and straddling his chest was a man in full Air Force attire.
[295] Oh, my God.
[296] Which looked old -fashioned and retro with both hands around my boyfriend's neck, throttling him as my boyfriend appeared to struggle and yell.
[297] I started screaming at the top of my lungs and bolted out the front door to run and get help.
[298] This was the mid -90s, no cell phones for us, early murderingos.
[299] My boyfriend ran down the street after me, shouting at me to stop and telling me, it says mansplaining in parentheses.
[300] It's not mansplaining, that I must have had a nightmare.
[301] mirror.
[302] Bullshit.
[303] I know what I saw and I definitely wasn't dreaming.
[304] I refused to ever sleep in his house again.
[305] For the next several days, I was so rattled that I would shake every time I thought of what happened.
[306] Oh my God.
[307] That's post -traumatic stress disorder.
[308] Fast forward five months later and we were in a new restaurant in town which had vintage photos post all over the place.
[309] After lunch, we walked around and took a look at some of these pictures.
[310] After a little while, my boyfriend said, look, it's a picture of my house.
[311] In addition to the framed photo.
[312] that house yes get ready there was also an inset picture of this soldier who used to live in that house and who had apparently died in world war true it was the fucking man no it strangled my boyfriend months prior i shit you not he used to live in that house before he was killed it gave me such a shock that i threw up my entire lunch right then and there and i ran out of the restaurant and had a major panic attack oh my god it was a small town scene that people liked to gossip about the moral of the story is bring your barf bag with you after you've seen a ghost try to kill your boyfriend just to be sure SSDGM ladies Lolo What the fuck I love it How satisfying to actually see it That's like something out of a movie And then you know it's so much more satisfying They're like her being like That's him not and trying to explain it It's just vomiting Like that's like there's like the best way They get anything across is be like I am so freaked out that I vomited Like that's not something Like baby remember I was telling you about that guy No That's that's you can't argue that No it wasn't a dream Because of the worst dreams you've ever had, you've never projectile vomited because of seeing a picture.
[313] You can't mansplained projectile vomiting.
[314] The idea that she's running up the street out of the house screaming and he's trying to say, don't do this anymore.
[315] And it's mansplaining.
[316] Amazing.
[317] One more?
[318] You got one?
[319] Elvis is.
[320] I don't want to stop.
[321] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[322] Absolutely.
[323] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[324] Exactly.
[325] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[326] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[327] That's right.
[328] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[329] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[330] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[331] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[332] They're sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[333] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[334] Connect with customers inline and online.
[335] Do retail right with Shopify.
[336] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[337] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[338] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[339] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[340] Goodbye.
[341] Hey, this is exciting.
[342] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[343] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[344] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[345] Who killed Saz?
[346] And were they really after Charles?
[347] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[348] This season, murder hits close to home.
[349] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[350] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[351] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries, And twists arise.
[352] Who knows what'll happen once the cameras start to roll?
[353] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[354] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[355] Goodbye.
[356] Oh, this one's creepy.
[357] This one's creepy just because of, like, the description of the ghost.
[358] Okay.
[359] Okay.
[360] It's called a dead camper, question, Mike?
[361] Oh, hey, Georgia, Karen, Stephen, and all animals, multiple L's.
[362] Huge trend of the show, and since it's October, I'm re -listening to last year's ghost stories.
[363] They put little squiggly lines in the event you do something similar this year, or a creepy minisodes sometime.
[364] I hope you find this creepy, too.
[365] I was born and raised in a very small town in New Hampshire, home of good old H .H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. Back in the early 1900s, our property was a summer camp for boys, already terrifying.
[366] It's just the worst idea.
[367] The smells everywhere.
[368] Our houses, our houses foundation was literally built around the old swimming pole.
[369] In our front yard, the concrete from the pool was covered with stones, but as the years passed, they fell off and revealed more paint from the pool.
[370] There was also weird things on our property, like a set of old wooden stairs built into a huge hill on just one side.
[371] No. Creepy.
[372] We had a good amount of land.
[373] What's under there?
[374] I don't know.
[375] And in the backyard, my dad clearly.
[376] cleared it out to create bike trails and jumps for us.
[377] Rad.
[378] Anyways, when I was probably 12, my friend and I were riding our bikes and rode all the way down to where the clearing ended and the woods began.
[379] At the same exact time, we both came to a sudden stop and skidded off our bikes, basically staring at the woods wondering what in the creepy -ass hell we were looking at.
[380] Right at the tree line, there was a boy staring back at us who looked to be around nine years old.
[381] It was very dirty with shaggy brown hair.
[382] He was completely naked except for a shirt made out of front.
[383] fabric.
[384] Other than the makeshift shirt, skirt.
[385] It says skirt, not shirt.
[386] Okay.
[387] Could I?
[388] So he's naked, but he's wearing a little skirt.
[389] Yeah.
[390] Like a wild boy.
[391] I like that better than if he was wearing a shirt with no pants like porky pit.
[392] Yeah, like naked from the waist down little boy.
[393] That's bad bad.
[394] No, no, no, no. That's emergency situation.
[395] Skirt.
[396] Skirt.
[397] Okay.
[398] Is the grass skirt?
[399] Other than a makeshift skirt made out of fabric.
[400] Okay.
[401] Probably old -timey.
[402] Still.
[403] All he had was a dog that was already running away from us.
[404] He started us for a good 30 seconds before gently shaking his head.
[405] I don't know if I would call it a nod.
[406] And then he ran after his dog.
[407] We both freaked out, ran back home to tell our parents who believed us enough to go and check the woods, but obviously didn't see anything.
[408] I never saw him again, but it's always stuck with me. There's always been weird things that have happened at my house.
[409] Two of my other friends from childhood have said they thought my house was creepy too.
[410] No shit.
[411] Yeah.
[412] I looked into my house as much as I could.
[413] all I really found was evidence of a wealthy businessman back in the day, opening a camp that was for boys to teach them about hunting, archery, et cetera.
[414] Uh -uh.
[415] No. After that, I can't find anything else.
[416] I even worked with my town's historical department, but hey, but they can't find much.
[417] I even worked with my town's historical department, but they can't find much more either.
[418] My town is small.
[419] Everyone knows everyone and whose kids are whose.
[420] There's no missing children at the time or ever, basically.
[421] It wasn't any of my neighbors or classmates, and I've never seen that kind of dog before around town.
[422] I'd like to think it's a boy from the camp that either died there or ran away and died and was a, and then squiggly lines, ghost.
[423] Thanks for reading, stay sexy, don't get murdered, Katie.
[424] He was a ghost.
[425] It was a ghost.
[426] It was a little boy ghost who, like, is living his best life, like best ghost life out in the woods, a wild child.
[427] He's got his fucking trussie hound with him.
[428] But why is he nodding his head?
[429] He's just like, yep, you saw me. Oh, he was yes nodding?
[430] He said it wasn't like a yes.
[431] Yes.
[432] He said, I nodded his head.
[433] I don't know if I would call it a nod.
[434] Oh, shaking his head.
[435] I don't know if I would call it a nod.
[436] Shaking his head is creepy.
[437] Shaking is like stay away from this forest or something.
[438] You're not supposed to be here.
[439] Because what if that, you know what that reminds me of is Fox Island, which is in the upper peninsula in Michigan.
[440] Is that the Michigan killers?
[441] What is it?
[442] The Oakland Child Killer.
[443] And that was that weird connection to they started an underprivileged.
[444] boys camp on an island where they flew kids in the kids couldn't get back off the island most of the kids were under privilege in some way and they fucking were molesting them they flew in sex perverts to fucking just have their yes and it like wealthy fucking oh my god this is like it's the 40s version but back when no one would have reported it and it goes to the fucking top it goes to the top it goes all the time oh my god what if that wealthy businessman who started that fucking camp for boys was named h h h home It was his first pass.
[445] Do you have another one?
[446] Also, why would you build?
[447] Yes, I do.
[448] Why would you build?
[449] No. Over a pool?
[450] No, no, no, no. There's all sorts of problems.
[451] It's foundationally and spiritually.
[452] Earthquakely?
[453] Earthquakely, spiritually, foundationally?
[454] Okay, give me one second because this one.
[455] Yes.
[456] Okay.
[457] I'm excited.
[458] I'm not going to read you the subject.
[459] Okay.
[460] Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and relevant furry creatures.
[461] Okay.
[462] All right.
[463] This story takes place back when my husband and I moved into our first house in Silmar, a suburb of L .A. We know it very well.
[464] We know what Silmar is.
[465] Don't explain.
[466] Don't man -splain Silmar.
[467] We had been in a house for a few months, and it just pulled together our music room.
[468] Well, well.
[469] We were jamming one night.
[470] Awesome.
[471] Hubs on guitar, me on drums, with my back to the wall.
[472] Is this a fucking invitation to come jam?
[473] Is it a ghost email from Karen Carpenter?
[474] All of a sudden, he stops mid -song.
[475] I think it was Misfid's hybrid moment.
[476] Oh my God, why are you my new best friends?
[477] So cool.
[478] And stares intently at the wall about two feet to my right.
[479] I, of course, freak out thinking there's a bug right next to me. Only to discover that there is a smallish bubble under the paint on the wall.
[480] What the fuck?
[481] Curious, it says that.
[482] on the email.
[483] Curious, I poked at it with my finger, and it was squishy, like there was liquid inside.
[484] We got a box cutter and cut a little hole in the bubble, and a dark, thick liquid came oozing out and down the wall.
[485] Your wall is bleeding.
[486] Was this blood?
[487] Sewage.
[488] We had no idea.
[489] Horrified, we left it there and immediately started calling people to come out and investigate.
[490] A plumber came the next day and cut open the wall only to discover it was not blood and it was not sewage it was honey honey oh shit that that's right inside our wall was the melting remains of a beehive and hundreds of dead bees later i put the pieces together of how it happened before we moved in there were some holes in the outside wall of the house which we asked the previous owners to patch up as a contingency of the sale so they did and in doing so they trapped the hive in there be murderers we would never have known the hive was even there except for that it was 900 degrees outside that day we were playing music, so the sun just melted the remnants inside the wall.
[491] Wow.
[492] Took days to clean out the sticky mess and quite sad to see all those dead creatures that are so crucial to our ecosystem.
[493] It's true.
[494] Fun fact, it had the same smell like when you drive by a beer factory.
[495] Maybe the honey fermented?
[496] I don't know.
[497] Thanks for reading a big group of friends and I will be at your L .A. show on Halloween.
[498] See there.
[499] Wait.
[500] Stay sexy.
[501] the bees, Leah.
[502] Oh, my God.
[503] Is that a good one?
[504] And what a bummer that they had this, like, free fucking source of honey.
[505] Yes.
[506] Then they couldn't use.
[507] If they'd only kept them alive, they could have tapped that little bubble.
[508] That's right.
[509] And just had a little, like.
[510] Like, there's a little bit of asbestos paint, lead paint in there.
[511] Yeah, but, yeah, there isn't everything.
[512] Don't worry about it.
[513] And you're, like, making a warm cup of tea.
[514] And then you just go down to the jam room.
[515] Yeah.
[516] And then...
[517] What was her name?
[518] Leah.
[519] And you're like, hey, bees.
[520] And they're like, hey, Leah.
[521] What's up?
[522] You're still working real hard for you.
[523] He's fucking killed it last night on the drums.
[524] Oh, shit, girl.
[525] You can jam on the missus.
[526] Girl.
[527] These bees have the deepest voices.
[528] What's up, girl?
[529] Kind of bros, because they're from Southern California.
[530] They're bros. They have backwards visors on their heads.
[531] Yeah.
[532] And they're just like, Leah, we just want to make honey and chill.
[533] That's right.
[534] You play music.
[535] That's right, Leah.
[536] Oh, my God.
[537] I mean, I wish we could do this all night long.
[538] Guys, keep sending us stories like this because, you know, whenever we get these ideas for send us your whatever is, we pepper them in.
[539] whenever they come.
[540] We just, like, read what's good.
[541] We like good.
[542] Like, it's almost just like, it's like, don't mansplain us.
[543] The minisode.
[544] And we won't mansplain it back to you.
[545] And mansplainingly yours.
[546] Stay sexy.
[547] And don't get murdered.
[548] Goodbye.
[549] Elvis.
[550] You want a cookie?
[551] Yeah.
[552] Goodbye.