MFM Minisode 276

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Minisode.

[2] Hi.

[3] Welcome to it.

[4] We told you already.

[5] Are you ready for it or are you just going to stand there with the AirPods in your ears like a fool?

[6] Should I go first?

[7] Yeah, I go first.

[8] Okay.

[9] The subject line of this email is the one time it really was the mob.

[10] And then in parentheses it says, sorry, Karen.

[11] Hey, you two.

[12] I have been sitting on this one for a while, but with all the mafia talk and grandparents stories lately, I realized that this might finally be capital M, my capital M moment.

[13] That is what this minisodes all about.

[14] It's your moment.

[15] It's all for you, Emma.

[16] Okay.

[17] In 2007, when I was 16, I was dating a guy I'd met at camp who all called Jake, in then, parentheses, not his real name.

[18] During one particularly long, heartfelt phone call, in parentheses, on a landline, no less, Jake told me about his grandpa who he'd been close to before he died a few weeks earlier.

[19] thinking cancer or a heart attack maybe, Jake replies, oh, he was shot in his driveway.

[20] Now, this was an immediate red flag for me. Great.

[21] Smart girl.

[22] You're going at 16.

[23] She's fucking got it.

[24] She's doing it.

[25] Jake told me that it had been a random case of mistaken identity and that they'd never caught the perpetrator.

[26] But really, how many elderly men living in the suburbs are victims of a random drive -by shooting?

[27] So I did what any burgeoning murderina would do and Google that shit.

[28] It turns out Jake's grandpa really was killed in it.

[29] drive -by shooting.

[30] But it definitely wasn't a case of mistaken identity.

[31] His grandpa had been the head of a faction of the Italian mob in an area north of Toronto renowned for mafia activity.

[32] He'd been killed by his second in command in an apparent power move.

[33] When I told Jake about what I'd read, he had absolutely no idea.

[34] Oh, no. Uh -huh.

[35] And in parentheses, it says, whoops, and was shocked to learn of his family's dealings.

[36] This is like if Meadow Soprano.

[37] Basically had some boyfriend that was like, guess what?

[38] Your dad's not a garbage man. Oh, my God.

[39] Which probably did happen in that show.

[40] Okay.

[41] When he confronted his mum and uncle, his mom explained that she had kept it a secret to protect him and prevent his involvement in the, quote, family business.

[42] His uncle apparently emphasized that it was his, quote, blood -borne right if he wanted to get involved now that he knew the truth about his family, but Jake said he politely declined.

[43] When I told my mom, who has never underreacted to anything.

[44] That is such a great description of someone.

[45] It's so perfect.

[46] Who has never underreacted to anything.

[47] She freaked out and immediately started thinking our phones were being tapped.

[48] Oh, my God.

[49] Sure.

[50] And needless to say, after dropping an enormous family bombshell on him that his beloved grandpa was actually a mafia kingpin, mine and Jake's relationship dwindled shortly thereafter.

[51] Oh.

[52] I love her I just love it anyways I hope you enjoy this hometown which proves that sometimes it really just might be the mob after all stay sexy and always Google your grandparents or have someone do it for you Emma that's so good that's such a 16 year old thing to say it's like no stopping to be like should I be saying this no guess what and then you learn that's how you learn to zip it yeah mine yeah business Mind.

[53] Mind you a business.

[54] Okay.

[55] This one's called you get what you pay for.

[56] Just starts.

[57] Let me take you back to Halloween in the early 90s.

[58] I was working at a bank in San Diego when a youngish man came into cash a check.

[59] As an astute teller, I'm always on the lookout for fraudulent checks.

[60] Not to protect the assets of my employer, but because they paid you $40 if you caught a bad check.

[61] And 75 if you kept the check and the ID.

[62] Yes.

[63] That's not smart.

[64] Oh, my God.

[65] bounty on bad check riders.

[66] Which is like how you treat employees.

[67] Like do something awesome and you get fucking money for it.

[68] You know what I mean?

[69] That's right.

[70] Yeah.

[71] My spidey sense was up when I first looked at the sky.

[72] There was nothing over just a weirdish vibe and a faded Hawaiian shirt.

[73] That's all you mean.

[74] The check was $150 and in the memo section was written loan but spelled L -O -N -E.

[75] What are the two signs a check may be forged?

[76] Misspellings and memos.

[77] I didn't know that, did you?

[78] Like, if you write hair cut, it's, like, suspicious.

[79] So smart.

[80] It makes perfect sense because if you're really, like, writing your bills, do you take your time to really get specific?

[81] No. But how many times have you written, like, butt stuff on your friends to check you write your friend?

[82] The fucking best.

[83] Not weed.

[84] Not weed, butt stuff.

[85] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[86] Mixed smelling is mammals.

[87] Now add to that, an expired, sketchy military ID, and I knew my car payment was made for the month.

[88] Wow, tough.

[89] I put the check info into the computer.

[90] Yes, we had computers 30 years ago, and there were no red flags, but that is not what I told the guy in front of me. I'm sorry, sir.

[91] This check requires I verify it with the maker, and I walked away to a phone out of reach of his arms and ears.

[92] Now, most foragers realize they have been had and leave, not this guy.

[93] I called the woman who owned the account.

[94] Her response was, I did not write that check.

[95] I had a party last night, and he was there and stole.

[96] a bunch of stuff from me. I am scared.

[97] I immediately put her on hold and called 911.

[98] By the way, remember I said it was Halloween?

[99] I had sewn a prom dress, taffeta, peach, puffy sleeves, and my dad's old suit together.

[100] Half my face was made up, big hair and full on makeup, and the other half had a fake mustache and the five o 'clock shadow.

[101] That is a fucking classic Halloween costume.

[102] Why don't we see that anymore?

[103] It is so, remember that was the, You might be too young for this, but there used to be a lip -syncing TV show that was syndicated.

[104] It was on the weekends, like Saturday and Sunday, called Puttin on the Hits.

[105] And the one that won, like when they finally had like a championship or whatever, the one that got the most votes was a person dressed like that that was singing a duet.

[106] So they would turn.

[107] And they turn this way.

[108] Mm -hmm.

[109] It was like islands in the stream half and half.

[110] You know, Dolly Parton and whoever.

[111] Talent.

[112] Pure talent.

[113] genius vision so they're dressed like this as we're calling the cops yes okay by this time our felonious friend was getting a little anxious i returned to him leaving the check and ID by the phone that was out of reach because without them i would not get paid in my most reassuring and earnest voice let him know that i really wanted to cash that check for him but i was having a little trouble getting in touch with the account holder please have a seat and i will let him know when everything is okay and even if i could not verify the check i might be able to cash it anyways i said had the woman on hold and checked back with her every few minutes eventually the forger returned to my window to see what's happening sir i reached the account holder she does not remember writing this check and there's a police officer behind you who would like to talk to you fortunately i assume correctly that the man in uniform was legit and not someone dressed as a copper for Halloween the guy was like oh i knew dave he's like i'm a stripper i'm just trying to cash my paycheck from chippendales right the police questioned him and found the woman's property in his car before leaving the officer came to me the perpetrator claimed the check was for sexual services rendered not alone l o any no her response the woman who whose check it was was yeah i had sex with him but it wasn't very good and i definitely would not have paid for it stay sexy and beware of bank tellers who are way too helpful p s i was picked for best costume and won a paid day off Yes.

[114] No name.

[115] How are we going to celebrate you?

[116] No name.

[117] Wow.

[118] That's so hilarious.

[119] I want stories of people who worked in banks and the sketchy shit they've seen.

[120] Yes.

[121] Good one.

[122] Right.

[123] More of that.

[124] Yes.

[125] Bank employees now is your time.

[126] Yeah.

[127] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[128] Absolutely.

[129] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[130] Exactly.

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[143] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

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[145] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[146] Goodbye.

[147] Okay.

[148] I'm not going to read you the subject line.

[149] It just starts hello all.

[150] I sadly did not get to see her Santa Barbara show when y 'all rolled in many moons ago before the Rona, but my friends who went said you were amazing.

[151] Anywho.

[152] Oh, that's nice.

[153] Anywho, I have a hometown story from when I attended college in Santa Barbara, and the scene is our return home from a drunken night out downtown near where y 'all performed.

[154] The idea that you, the people from Santa Barbara saying y 'all is the funniest thing in the world.

[155] Maybe they were a Texan transplant.

[156] Okay, we had taken Bill's bus, and then in parentheses, cue excited screams from past and current Santa Barbara drunk college students, which is a bus designed to take the college community downtown for a small round -trip fee.

[157] Oh.

[158] You get a wristband, and everyone knows that you are a badass bitches who put safety first.

[159] It's pretty magical.

[160] Anyway, we're going back to our student apartments after having a pretty fun girls' night out, and we're all fairly drunk, but not driving, thanks to our friend Bill and his bus.

[161] We were running because it was winter and freezing and our jackets didn't match our cute outfits, barefoot and in short dresses with our heels and hand, when one of my girlfriends called out laughing, hey, look, a dead guy.

[162] We all laughed with her, thinking, silly, drunk girl, and kept running.

[163] Then I noticed that what she had saw, and I thought, wait.

[164] There was a man laying on the ground in the middle of a parking lot near our complex.

[165] He wasn't moving, but he was in an odd position.

[166] He was on his back, crisscrossed with his hands crossed over his chest, like a super creepy yoga pose.

[167] We decided to go check on him, but we were still pretty drunk.

[168] So we mostly just poked him and yelled, hey, dead guy, are you okay?

[169] He didn't respond, but we could tell he was breathing.

[170] And then in parentheses, it says sigh of relief.

[171] So we chose the most sober of our group to call the police.

[172] They asked us to stay with him And the EMT arrived shortly after They couldn't wake him either And we had gathered around And they hadn't shoot us away yet We watched as one of the EMTs performed a quote Sternum rub Which is a painful experience That will wake up almost anyone No matter how deep their stupor His eyes shot open and he gasped for breath And my girlfriends and I all shrieked And one of them even yelled sorcery And then we were politely asked to leave and talk to the police.

[173] We never found out what happened to the poor guy, but they hooked him up to some IVs and rushed him to the hospital when they realized he was so drunk he couldn't even recognize them or tell them his name.

[174] He was in good hands and probably went on to have a very successful college career.

[175] At least that's what I tell myself.

[176] Stay sexy and always check on the dead guy, S .J. I mean, they maybe saved his entire life.

[177] They absolutely could have if he was like.

[178] have choked on his vomit or like yes he was in a total blackout oh man sternum rub that what is it and what is oh i don't want to google that you can party as much as you want but please stop one drink before you get the sternum rub i say get that tattooed on your finger please stop before the sternum rub use an index card if you must okay this is called baby georgia and how you guys helped us become parents and yes this is a pat on the back one, but it's cute.

[179] Hi, y 'all.

[180] Not a hometown, but hopefully still worth a quick personal read.

[181] Oh, oops.

[182] I'm like, tell everyone.

[183] Simply put, I owe you both a massive thank you.

[184] My partner and I welcomed our baby Georgia June.

[185] And then exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark.

[186] Into the world two weeks ago.

[187] The birth we planned and hoped for was not in the cards for us and proved to be a long, painful, emotional journey to becoming parents.

[188] About 20 hours in and more intense.

[189] painful back -to -back contractions.

[190] Then it says shout -out to all birthing people.

[191] Then I could count.

[192] My partner bravely called for the epidural.

[193] As she got some relief and much needed rest, I was buzzing in an anxiety level just below full meltdown.

[194] As we hadn't prepared for this birth story, I didn't even think to bring my anxiety mints to the hospital.

[195] So what does one do?

[196] First, send an emergency SOS to my psychiatrist.

[197] Second, do the only thing I knew just might work.

[198] I curled up on the not the comfiest hospital recliner, put a blanket over my head, air pods in my ears, and turned on your voices.

[199] I'm not kidding.

[200] It was just like getting an out of and drip straight to the soul.

[201] All in all, it was probably only five minutes before the midwife came back in the room, and we all got back to the task at hand.

[202] But those minutes brought me back down to something resembling baseline, and baseline meant being able to show up for my partner wholeheartedly.

[203] Fast forward, Georgia June was born in an unplanned C -section and is as healthy as could be.

[204] Thank you for being part of our birth story and bringing Georgia's namesake, laugh, into the world.

[205] You both have a gift.

[206] Thank you for sharing it with the world.

[207] We appreciate you more than you could know, all our love, Iris, Mary, Georgia, and Muzzy.

[208] Oh.

[209] Are you proud to have a baby with your name?

[210] Well, you know, I know it's not for me, but I'm born in June, too.

[211] So, Georgia, June.

[212] So it is for you?

[213] I don't think so.

[214] I think it's just they like the name Georgia.

[215] The subject line is a little sinkhole story, lighthearted, and short.

[216] Hello, Georgia, Karen, pets, and our beautiful Stephen.

[217] I want to start off by saying how much I love you guys.

[218] I've been listening for about two years now, and I want to thank you.

[219] You guys started my passion for true crime and helped me get through the pandemic.

[220] Also, being 14 is not fun sometimes.

[221] So being able to listen to you guys rant about the judicial system.

[222] or T. Stephen always brightens my day.

[223] And then in parentheses, it says, yes, I started listening at 12.

[224] I'm totally fine.

[225] Don't worry.

[226] Oh, my Lord.

[227] Can I just also, we say being 14 is hard most of the time, so we support you.

[228] Yes, everyone goes through it.

[229] Remember everyone else is having a horrible time too, not just you.

[230] It feels it's very isolating and lonely and you feel like it's just you, but it's everybody.

[231] That's for any age, really.

[232] True.

[233] Okay, a little backstory.

[234] My family and I moved into a new house last year because I have six people in a four -bedroom house.

[235] It's not ideal for two teens, a nine -year -old, and an 11 -year -old.

[236] Also, shout out to my twin Alex, who introduced me to you guys.

[237] She's awesome.

[238] About, what, Alex?

[239] About three months ago, my dad randomly mentioned that there was an article that he came across that Lex and I might find interesting.

[240] The article contained an account of a sinkhole opening in 1957.

[241] It turns out, we live on the very edge of a repaired sinkhole.

[242] Bye.

[243] What a discovery.

[244] I remember me and my sister just started screaming.

[245] Teenage girls!

[246] We just started screaming.

[247] Since this is basically our dream.

[248] The full story is that in 1957, 120 foot wide and 60 foot hole opened up in the ground.

[249] Can you imagine?

[250] just rolling out of bed, going to brush your teeth, and then looking out the window and there's just a fucking sinkhole out your window?

[251] Hey, watch your mouth.

[252] Young lady?

[253] Hey.

[254] Anyway, this city discovered the reason for the sinkhole was because a really large sewer pipe broke and caused the road to just collapse.

[255] I am not a sinkholeologist, so I have no idea how that even happens.

[256] Miraculously, no one was killed or injured.

[257] About 10 houses had to be evacuated though and the repairs took two years and then in parentheses it says hopefully they had insurance no you sue the fucking city that's your insurance if you have a house and you don't have insurance yeah also a 14 year old worrying about insurance is it's a lot precious my smile it was just getting bigger by the moment it only swallowed a light pole in a tree no cars or anything which is somewhat disappointing not that i wanted death just not as exciting love you Ladies to Death, please never stop making this podcast.

[258] Y 'all are awesome.

[259] The next time you guys have a Seattle live show, hit me up.

[260] Absolutely.

[261] Andy, she, her.

[262] Oh, Andy.

[263] Andy and Lexi.

[264] The twins have to come to our live Seattle show.

[265] That's right.

[266] But they have to have parent permission slips.

[267] Hit me up.

[268] Hit me up.

[269] Hey, Andy, it's Karen.

[270] I wanted to know you'd come to our show.

[271] Hey, I'm a grown woman.

[272] Come to our show.

[273] My last one is called Not a Joke, actual Stephen King correspondence.

[274] Ooh.

[275] Uh -huh.

[276] Karen, Georgia, and the MFM fam.

[277] Look, listen up, you two.

[278] I've done just about everything under the sun to try to get either one of you to acknowledge my existence in this true crime -ridden universe of ours.

[279] From Twitter to Instagram, I've tried it all.

[280] If either of you were on the cameo app, let's just say that I would have paid for my own personal birthday shout -out at this point in my life.

[281] But don't worry, got some brand new shit to tell you about.

[282] Anyways, I recently escorted my own nosy ass into my dad's office in my childhood home to escort to perform a long overdue and unwarranted search.

[283] From there, I proceeded to open any and every drawer in the room.

[284] I had remembered hearing tidbits from my not -so -quiet Portuguese nugget of a mother in the past that before I was born, my dad owned a handful of obscure bookstores in New Hampshire and Massachusetts.

[285] I even found a box of crispy brand new, sorry, I mean new 40 years ago, plastic shopping bags with the name of one of his stores printed on them called Chapter 1.

[286] Oh.

[287] It's a good name for a bookstore, right?

[288] Sure.

[289] At this point, I knew my mom wasn't making shit up.

[290] During my raid, I found a typewritten envelope addressed to my dad to one of his stores in Danvers, Massachusetts.

[291] In the upper left -hand corner of the envelope, there was one very familiar last name, hint from Maine, that every murderino knows and loves my stomach dropped it said king that's right all caps stephen king himself typed a letter to my dad and then proceeded to sign the fucking letter apparently my dad had written mr king a letter in 1981 personally inviting him to the danvers store's grand opening in the coming months unfortunately in the letter he regrets to inform my dad that he will be on vacation with his family during the weekend of the event so he'd be unable to attend like a true letter He wished my dad well and stated that he would keep my dad's store in mind if he decided to go on a book tour for the release of any of his upcoming novels.

[292] Oh.

[293] This coming May of 2022 will be 14 years since my dad passed away.

[294] Out of nowhere in late 2007, doctors found that he had an aggressive tumor growing on a non -functional part of his liver.

[295] When they went to remove it, they discovered that the tumor was inoperable.

[296] I was 17 years old when it happened.

[297] I miss him terribly and think about him all the time.

[298] He was an extremely smart person, and I'm so glad he decided to keep that letter stowed away in his office all of these years for his prying 31 -year -old murderina daughter to find one day and totally geek out over.

[299] Stay sexy and make sure you include a return address when you mail a letter to a world -famous author, Megan.

[300] P .S., obviously, I'm no handwriting expert, but preliminary Google research shows that the signature in the letter to my dad shows consistency with verified Stephen King autographs that I was able to find for personal.

[301] purchase online.

[302] Verify.

[303] Verify.

[304] Trust but verify.

[305] Megan must verify at all times.

[306] That's really exciting.

[307] Because also that's like it's a huge loss and then it's almost like a part of your dad's personal life that also is exciting to you too.

[308] It's a shared interest and one of the great authors of our time.

[309] Totally.

[310] Especially for a murderina.

[311] Yeah, that's fair.

[312] I love it.

[313] All right.

[314] Well, we did it.

[315] We did it again.

[316] Send us your stories, please.

[317] My Favorite Murder at gmail .com And until that time, please stay sexy.

[318] And don't get murdered.

[319] Goodbye.

[320] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[321] This has been an exactly right production.

[322] Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.

[323] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[324] This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[325] Our researchers are Jay Elias and Haley Gray.

[326] Email your hometowns and fucking hooray's to my favorite murder at gmail .com.

[327] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook.

[328] at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at My Fave Murder.

[329] Listen, follow, and leave us a review on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[330] And don't forget, you can listen to new episodes one week early on Amazon Music, or early and ad -free by subscribing to Wondry Plus in the Wondry app.

[331] Goodbye.

[332] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

[333] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[334] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase my favorite.

[335] favorite murder merch.