234 - Diane Steele: The Q&A

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] To my favorite murder.

[2] The podcast.

[3] You have heard of it?

[4] It's, um, these two girls, I don't really know what they do.

[5] It's, it's, who are they think they are?

[6] Who do they think they are?

[7] Hey, this is a special episode.

[8] We're going to do a Q &A.

[9] Are you getting like a summertime vibe from us because it's real?

[10] Yeah.

[11] It's, uh, summer.

[12] Yeah.

[13] Well, it's, it feels like lazy days of summer.

[14] Like when we thought, oh, yeah, we haven't done a Q &A, like in a very, maybe in a year.

[15] And then when I realized that was an option, it was as if I was freed out of the last day of school onto summer vacation.

[16] That's what it felt like.

[17] For some reason, a Q &A makes me almost more nervous than a regular episode.

[18] Because you have to go back to all your improv skills that you got at the groundlings.

[19] Level one, from the two level one classes I've taken of improv before, true story.

[20] Yeah.

[21] It's not easy.

[22] It's not easy.

[23] It's not.

[24] Yeah, I don't like not being prepared.

[25] And then I read through the questions that Jay sent us from the fan cult and they're really fun.

[26] So I'm feeling okay about it.

[27] Of course.

[28] These are people that want to, they have good ideas.

[29] They think things through.

[30] A lot of them are professionals.

[31] Improvers.

[32] Professional and proverbs.

[33] Did I ever tell you about my friend Lynn Shawcroft, the great Canadian stand -up comedian Lynn Shawcroft?

[34] And she had the greatest story where she took a class, I think it was at the groundlings.

[35] And she, like, got in trouble, quote unquote, because the only thing she could think of as an action to do on stage is fold towels.

[36] So no matter what was happening, she would just be standing there, she would just stand there flipping her hands like that and then putting a towel in a shelf.

[37] And the teacher's like, Lynn, we're in a restaurant.

[38] You have to do something else.

[39] She has folded napkins.

[40] It really does work.

[41] any setting.

[42] But isn't I would love to know what my like under the gun panic action would be of like nothing.

[43] Well, I can tell you actually because I did take I got tricked into taking an improv class once.

[44] I went with my friend and in my mind I was like, I'll just audit and sit in the back.

[45] And then the teacher, the great Chris Barnes, um, improv teacher from Second City, he was like, no auditing.

[46] You have to get in this.

[47] And so I was like, it's my nightmare.

[48] I mean, control freak, um, extraordinary.

[49] that was my nightmare too because it's like all you do all your life is don't act stupid don't act stupid don't act stupid and they get to an improv class and it's like act stupid it's hard the idea that well it's it's act according to what's actually happening as opposed to not acting stupid which is a plan well I'm just talking about a fucking warm up so oh my god so uncomfortable they're the nerdiest it's like they're trying to break you emotionally before you go into starting a scene like zip zaps up is is a soul -crushing experience.

[50] Okay, so you had to go.

[51] You could not it.

[52] So then the first...

[53] I was really mad.

[54] And I felt like one of those people that goes with the friend to the cult meeting and then gets totally indoctrinated into the cult.

[55] But the first scene I was in, I was like, I think my panic action is flipping hamburgers because I stood there that was what I started with.

[56] And then the guy walked into the scene from the, stage left.

[57] And then as he walked in and started asking me questions, I slowly turned my back to him.

[58] You're like Amber Maker that doesn't want to talk to this cover.

[59] And Chris Barnes is like, Karen, Karen, what do you do?

[60] You have to acknowledge that a person's on stage with you.

[61] I was just like, oh, I thought that would be funny if I turn my back, but you can't do that.

[62] I guess mine would be stirring a big pot of something.

[63] Sure.

[64] But that could look pornographic if you really.

[65] Or like your Stragonona.

[66] There's so many options.

[67] Yeah.

[68] In the improv world.

[69] What's going on?

[70] What's up?

[71] What's up with you?

[72] I don't know.

[73] I'm reading a really good book I want to talk about.

[74] Okay.

[75] Is it too early to get into books?

[76] Hell no. Do you want to restart the book club?

[77] Do you want to do the one -off book club?

[78] This is the book club meeting right now.

[79] The only people that get to come to this book club right now or the ones who by chance already read whatever book George is about to talk about.

[80] That's right.

[81] We're never going to talk about it again.

[82] This is the one and only.

[83] You're never going to be required to make cheese snacks to the fucking or make small talk to people you don't actually know.

[84] They would never ask that of you.

[85] No. You know that.

[86] So I'm listening to this book called The Unquiet Dead by Ausma Zahanat Khan.

[87] I'm sure I said that wrong.

[88] It is gorgeous.

[89] It's a detective kind of who done it.

[90] That's like the basics of it, but it takes place in Canada, and they're trying to solve the death of this person.

[91] Did he kill himself?

[92] Did he get killed?

[93] But the person turns out to maybe be a war criminal from the Bosnian War.

[94] And so it keeps, which I didn't know anything about.

[95] And so this book is like super what's it called historical fiction.

[96] So it keeps telling me all these things about Sarajevo, the fall of Sarajevo and the Bosnian War from the 90s that I had no idea about.

[97] It's so beautifully, like, heart -wrenchingly written, and it's incredible.

[98] I'm, like, obsessed with it.

[99] And it's, like, a perfect true crime book, but also you learn something.

[100] Yes, that sounds really good.

[101] I love it.

[102] And I guess there's, like, a whole slew of, like, this detective.

[103] Well, I like that they're tricking you into learning.

[104] I know.

[105] Isn't that fun?

[106] It's the best kind of book.

[107] And then to, like, the counteract that, I just watched the go -go's last night.

[108] The Go -Go's documentary.

[109] I haven't seen it yet.

[110] I was supposed to watch it with my friend Luke, Vivian Westwood's number one fan, lukeumic um and then but okay go ahead because i'll tell you i got into something else accidentally but you tell me about that no it was just really fun and great and i didn't realize like i don't think i was bold enough to know the enormity of like what they did and they were the first and it's fucking fun it's a really fun documentary that's right because when they came out you would have been one yeah but i was 11 yeah it was right up my i mean they are oh the go go go number one when that beauty in the beat came out me and I told the story on Josh Adam Meyer's podcast the 500 but because we covered this album I sat in my friend Nisha Benedetti who she was a year younger than me and we did carpal together and sometimes I'd go to their house after school and she had gotten that album and she put it on and then we just sat there staring at the album cover and it was like a girl band all girls singing girls songs songs about wrote their own songs, played their own instruments, and then it's like the whole thing about how they got fame so quickly and they had to go on tour and how it quickly drained them and like it was, it's really good and fun and I didn't realize how fucking punk they were before that.

[111] Yeah, that's how they started.

[112] It's hardcore LA punk.

[113] It's rad.

[114] It's a really fun.

[115] Okay, so I was, I really meant to watch that but accidentally stumbled upon love on the spectrum which is series on Netflix.

[116] Did you watch it?

[117] No, but I know.

[118] I want to.

[119] You have to.

[120] It is so good.

[121] It's Australian.

[122] So we already love Australians and their whole chill vibe.

[123] Yeah.

[124] So it's Australian adults who are on the spectrum in some way have Asperger's or autism.

[125] And it's them trying to date.

[126] And they talk about how the social aspect of things is already hard.

[127] And so then they have like dating coaches and stuff and people that work specifically with people.

[128] on the spectrum, it's the best, it's hilarious, it's heartwarming, the P, you love these people so much and you're so, like, the entire time I sat, I was sitting forward like full body clench because I was so nervous for people as they were like, it's just a beautiful, beautiful thing to watch.

[129] Did it help you at all with like past relationships where you're like, oh, that's what was going on?

[130] It wasn't like, you know how we're so easy to be like, like, he doesn't like me and, you know, He can't stand me. And then you later come to realize what was really going on and it wasn't about you.

[131] You know, definitely have those exes.

[132] Absolutely.

[133] You know what it actually helped me with is this concept?

[134] Because just dating in general is so, it feels to me at this point in life.

[135] So like, that's for the kids.

[136] And I wouldn't really, it's just like not my personality to, you know, can be like, my five, they have favorite things or this and that.

[137] I just can't.

[138] It's so difficult to envision.

[139] And that's basically what.

[140] they walk through and then you, it's all just about being willing to be vulnerable and also to keep boundaries where you're just like, it's just talking.

[141] You can figure out if you like someone as you go.

[142] You don't have to like, you don't have to qualify and they don't have to qualify.

[143] You're just kind of hanging out.

[144] The stakes aren't as high as you think they are, especially when you're young and it's like, you know, every relationship, every date, every text has so much importance to it, which it really doesn't.

[145] It doesn't at all.

[146] And it's all kind of like it's all part of one big story as opposed to looking at it like oh this is this thing that's going to deliver me from whatever where it's like no no it can't you can't approach it that way but also just these people the people that they chose to be on the series are such compelling individuals and you love them and you root for them and it's just like it feels good I watch there's a new Marilyn Manson there's a new there's a new Charles Manson documentary that is that's a Sanjarja as a person who's supposed to be some sort of true crime that's right so I'm interested but however I've never really been into Charles Manson we've already talked about him how but this fucking documentary oh it's on Hulu it's called truth and lies the family and it's I didn't it's really make I didn't care about him I had no interest in that whole story this one is actually really fascinating and good and tells you about his like shit about him as a child that you didn't know about it's really dark and well done so if you're interested in that I mean even Vince is into it which I'm surprised it's really good okay cool yeah yeah but they have like old photos of him and people who knew him talking I mean so you're basically saying you're pro Charles Manson now no I'm pro Marilyn Manson oh got it got it got it that's why anti right right We've always been pro -Maryland.

[147] Okay, there's another show that I happened upon on Netflix.

[148] I've been spending my time very wisely lately.

[149] It's called Skin Decision, and it's all about, it's basically like feel -good plastic surgery reality TV.

[150] You have to watch it.

[151] So it's not like botched, that amazing show, botched.

[152] It's equal opposite botch.

[153] So it's a plastic surgeon, female toxic surgeon, a female nurse.

[154] aesthetician who is in she often talks about she's like the number one injectables expert in the country and then it's the people come in and they want things it's not all you know quote unquote superficial it's like um the first woman there's somebody that has really really bad cystic acne scars there's someone um who had a bunch of gunshot wounds from a really from surviving a really terrible traumatic crime.

[155] Oh, my God.

[156] It's, they have all these different people.

[157] Then there's a woman who, like, got herself sober and, and stop smoking.

[158] And she's, like, a beach lady.

[159] And so they do these, like, they decide if it's going to be plastic surgery or if they can just do it with non -surgical.

[160] Which they can do so much with non -surgical now.

[161] It's amazing.

[162] They change the way your face is shaped.

[163] Yes.

[164] By shooting sugar threads into under your skin.

[165] Oh, the threading.

[166] Yeah.

[167] It's fascinating.

[168] I haven't done that yet.

[169] And I mean, I probably won't.

[170] I've done, so I've done Botox and I've done filler.

[171] And I'm a big fucking fan of it.

[172] If it makes you feel better about yourself, then why the fuck not?

[173] If you can afford it and you are mentally healthy and you're just trying to give yourself a boost.

[174] What the fuck?

[175] Who cares?

[176] It's nobody's business.

[177] Well, and so many, it's a common thing and it's so many people do it.

[178] And yeah, it is that thing of like, it's almost like I think this happens to women a lot it's almost like you're you think you're being forced to decide whether you're like an on camera person or an off camera person right and if you're an off camera person you're just not supposed to care about what you look like and it's like right it should be you should just always be aiming whatever it is for what feels right and good to you that's definitely there's something of like except yourself where you are blah blah blah and it's like well I am but also this like 15 minute procedure of some needles will make me feel even better about who I am.

[179] Totally.

[180] What's the fucking problem?

[181] If you have that kind of scratch, Jesus.

[182] But there was one woman who came on and she, it was like that thing where she was trying to say, I in no way want, like, plastic, quote unquote plastic surgery.

[183] No one thinks.

[184] Yeah.

[185] But then she had the like hereditary kind of waddle on her neck that was driving her crazy and making her feel terrible.

[186] And then when she got the procedure, like the difference was insane.

[187] It was amazing.

[188] Okay.

[189] Such a satisfying show.

[190] It's called Skin Decision.

[191] And it's just one of they, it's such, it's smartly produced reality because it's about a superficial thing and then they bring it to people who.

[192] Yeah.

[193] It makes a huge difference in their life in some way.

[194] And it's really beautiful.

[195] It's beautiful.

[196] And then these women are beautiful that do it and they're so talented and smart.

[197] And it's just cool.

[198] Okay.

[199] I'm into it.

[200] I'm there.

[201] It feels.

[202] I'm there and I'll probably be on it next season.

[203] What are you texting?

[204] No, I'm looking at something else.

[205] Oh, there's something else I wanted to tell you about that Vince just bought.

[206] Vince likes, Vince like survive weird shit online.

[207] Sure.

[208] He bought, okay, there's this record label called Terror Vision.

[209] And they put out a lot of like...

[210] Do you mind if I lightly dry my hair as you tell me the story?

[211] They release like obscure movie.

[212] soundtracks on vinyl.

[213] So, like, movies you watched as a kid and weird horror movies and shit.

[214] So they released an album of Unsolved Mysteries music.

[215] So it'll be like, it'll be like they have a, they have a whole song for Bigfoot music.

[216] They have a whole song for alien invasions.

[217] There's a whole song that they always use for fucking Loch Ness monsters.

[218] And so it's all this creepy old 80s music.

[219] They have the beginning sound music and the end of the episode and it's just like this weird background music to have in your house and I'm obsessed with it.

[220] Is the Loch Ness Monster music?

[221] Does it have a little bit of bagpipes?

[222] Just like a touch of distant bagpipes?

[223] It better.

[224] It's all I'm saying.

[225] It's all I'm saying, but it's like actual music from Unsolved Mysteries that they got the rights to.

[226] Amazing.

[227] Terror vision.

[228] Terror vision.

[229] Yeah.

[230] How cool is that?

[231] That's the best.

[232] Visit that website.

[233] Okay, so I got this tweet the other day, I think it was two days ago, from Lily Lynn.

[234] She's at Epicliores on Twitter.

[235] She said, Karen, you've probably gotten this recommendation before, but just in case, check out Cardinal.

[236] It's a Canadian procedural.

[237] Dark and beautiful.

[238] So I go on there because it's apparently my job to watch every television show ever made now.

[239] And I think it's, I think it ended up being on Hulu or Amazon.

[240] I can't remember.

[241] But anyway, it's called Cardinal.

[242] If you liked The Killing, did you watch the killing?

[243] I loved it.

[244] Do you remember the guy that played the mayor?

[245] He's kind of like, he had dark hair, short, and he was super cute face, a little older.

[246] No. Okay, so that guy is perfect.

[247] That guy is the lead in Cardinal.

[248] It's so good.

[249] What's it about?

[250] about like cardinals and shit?

[251] Yep, he's a bird.

[252] He's a big red bird and he's too proud and he's going to get his comeuppance.

[253] He is a detective and his French Canadian new partner who's a young woman is actually secretly investigating him because they think he might be a corrupt cop and they basically, he had been working on a missing young woman case, a missing indigenous young woman gays, and they never found her.

[254] And then it's 12 years later, and they find her body in the ice.

[255] And that begins the new investigation.

[256] And it's, so sometimes, and I'm sorry to tell you this Canada, but every once in a while, a show will come on and I'll say this was made in Canada.

[257] It just has a feel.

[258] And of course, you know, when they say, I'm so sorry that it was made in Canada.

[259] Sure.

[260] Cardinal is a police procedural that could compete with any that you love that's on TV right now.

[261] The actors are great.

[262] The season one storyline was like unbelievable and there's three seasons and that guy as a lead is I should, why don't I look people's names up beforehand?

[263] Because you usually know them.

[264] I do actually but this guy is because he was like one of the main people and the killing.

[265] You've seen him in tons of stuff.

[266] No, I know.

[267] He's my best friend.

[268] Okay.

[269] I know him.

[270] You've always loved him.

[271] You wrote him that letter.

[272] You know who I'm talking about.

[273] I do.

[274] I do.

[275] Billy Campbell is his name.

[276] Oh.

[277] He, you know him from such movies and TVs as The Rocketeer.

[278] The J -Lo film Enough.

[279] Oh, wait, here, sorry.

[280] Oh, enough.

[281] This guy.

[282] He kind of looks like a model, but he also looks worried.

[283] Here.

[284] A worrying model.

[285] The best line.

[286] Emotion model.

[287] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[288] Yeah, he didn't have a beard in the killing.

[289] He's, he's like, he looks like an old young guy.

[290] He looks like an old young guy.

[291] He looks like a high school student that got put through a weird machine.

[292] They were like, what happened?

[293] You're, you seem 18 and 15.

[294] He needs to go on skin fix.

[295] No, no, no, he's like beautifully salt and pepper age.

[296] But he just has like a almost like, um, this is a, not a compliment.

[297] Even though I find this man, of course, he's like a standard leading man. He's, of course, very attractive.

[298] But he also a little bit looks like Jughead.

[299] And that's, I'm not trying to be, I'm not trying to neg him.

[300] I'm just trying to describe him for people who are trying to think of who this is.

[301] Billy Campbell.

[302] Someone comments at, Billy Campbell, someone commented on a tweet that I wrote and just said, I do not mean this in a negative way, but you, there's a hippo in my animal crossing, you, that looks.

[303] like you.

[304] I would never, I would shut that laptop and never open it again.

[305] I kind of got it.

[306] I kind of was fine with it.

[307] You know, like the hippo in a tutu that Nick Terry made.

[308] It's just like, yeah, I guess I could see that.

[309] You know, big eyes and all this.

[310] Did the hippo have a short black bob?

[311] I didn't see it.

[312] I'm just taking this person's word for it.

[313] That's really funny.

[314] Any tweet that starts don't take this the wrong way.

[315] I'm like mute, then block, then report, report to the CIA.

[316] Speaking of reporting to the CIA, should we do exactly right?

[317] Well, you know how our, because basically our podcast network is a front for the CIA.

[318] Right.

[319] So, it's the perfect cover.

[320] Good ideas.

[321] The perfect cover.

[322] No one will ever know.

[323] No. So let's do a quick rundown of what you can find this week on the exactly right network.

[324] Beautiful.

[325] Kick it off.

[326] I'm sure.

[327] Okay.

[328] We have, Murder Squad is covering the Unsolved 1998 murder of Rita Hester, who was an active member of the transgender community whose death inspired Transgender Remembrance Day.

[329] So that's a really important episode.

[330] Cool.

[331] That's very cool.

[332] This podcast will kill you is doing Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, which is so cool.

[333] Yeah.

[334] Bananas has Francesca Ramsey on.

[335] She's from MTV's Decoded and the nightly show.

[336] She's hilarious and lovely.

[337] Cool.

[338] Stephen, you and Sarah.

[339] on the percast have Sterling Trap King Davis.

[340] Oh my God, I just donated money to him in his van.

[341] Yeah, he goes around the country trapping cats and, like, helping cat communities around the U .S. What's his cat's name that the little white one that he just adopted?

[342] Alanis Mewisette.

[343] I love it.

[344] I saw that and I was like, well, I'm giving you all my money.

[345] Oh, my God, I love it with you the best.

[346] Oh, yeah, we've hung out before in person whenever he comes out for CatCon.

[347] He's the sweetest guy.

[348] Him and Nathan are just like the coolest dudes, yeah.

[349] Say hi for me. Nathan, the Cat Lady.

[350] Nathan the Cat Lady.

[351] I love it.

[352] And in the fall line, this is important, they begin their newest series called Florida's Missing and Murdered.

[353] And it's going to be about two murdered women, both members of Jacksonville's LGBTW community.

[354] It's an important season that they're coming up with.

[355] I can't wait to hear that.

[356] Please subscribe.

[357] Like, subscribe, comments.

[358] What is it?

[359] Yeah, you were right, all three.

[360] And then this week's, I said, No Gifts, starring Bridger Weinerger, has the great Chris Fairbanks on it.

[361] Chris was like over the moon after he did that.

[362] He said he had the best time.

[363] I like that.

[364] Those two people are good people.

[365] That's a real great combination of people and of hair.

[366] Those are two heads of hair that really should meet and greet each other.

[367] Aggressively good hair.

[368] Yeah.

[369] Oh, also, just as an update, for the past almost two months, I would say, we've been, we had our MFM kind of logo pin that's black and white.

[370] That's been for sale and all the proceeds are going to Beam, which is the Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective.

[371] And you guys, we have raised, you guys have raised $17 ,500 for Beam.

[372] So thank you so much for all of those purchases and all that support.

[373] it's uh we're super excited to be able to give them such a nice big check it's really exciting thank you guys so much for supporting them and for supporting us supporting other people it's really supportive we're going to pick a new org to donate to soon so um there's going to be more pins for sale yeah also in the fan call there um the video this week is the video of karen and stepan giving me my birthday presents from last week so you can actually see me cry is it Crying if the tears don't spill out of your eyes.

[374] No, that's real housewives of Orange County.

[375] Oh, shit.

[376] I'm from Orange County.

[377] I know.

[378] I can't cry.

[379] Now you just need, tell events that you need one of those diamonds that takes up a whole lower half of your finger.

[380] And then you can cry by going like that and getting your diamond into the in the shop.

[381] So they need to spill over to be a real cry.

[382] I mean, well, I'm getting there.

[383] There's not a ton of real crying in media these days.

[384] I think a lot of it is glycerin.

[385] I think a lot of it is hot pepper to the right to the corner right before it rolls, some menthol.

[386] Oh, I want to mention, and for some reason we haven't talked about the new season of search party, season three of search party that came out like a month ago.

[387] Because I wanted to give a shout out.

[388] It's really good.

[389] It's another great season.

[390] But this season, there's a lawyer on it played by a woman named Shelita Grant.

[391] and she this character is so incredible and she is so funny she's like kind of like a Kardashian acting type of lawyer and it's like fucking Emmy worthy I'm she's just incredible so if you've got to watch season three and I mean you should just binge the whole fucking show it's so good search party is the best and this season is like everyone plays their character so well It's like every single cast member is fucking bringing everything they have to it.

[392] I love it so much.

[393] That's great.

[394] It was like a good wreck.

[395] You should definitely watch Search Party.

[396] Because I've run out of everything on Netflix.

[397] I think I've honestly watched every.

[398] I was watching a show about the universe at 4 o 'clock this morning.

[399] Please.

[400] You can't know.

[401] I know it's all lies.

[402] There's nothing to know.

[403] It's all a simulation.

[404] Here's what's interesting, though.

[405] Because I do remember in college, I got really drunk at a party one time.

[406] my sister got mad at me because I kept saying, is it our moon or is it everybody's moon?

[407] And no one had the answer.

[408] That's a great question.

[409] A parent.

[410] Not one fucking person.

[411] Everyone's like, what?

[412] I'm like, you're all so ignorant here at sex.

[413] Is it our moon or isn't everyone?

[414] No. And honestly, no, every, I think people are actually getting mad because they didn't know the answer.

[415] So it's like, I'll stop yelling it when you tell me the answer.

[416] So anyway.

[417] I feel like that's one of the conversations that if I like, like, like true crime, if I had heard you talking about it across a party and having known you, I would have run over and be like, that's a great question.

[418] This is, we have to find out.

[419] And also, pre -internet, we would have had to find out by, like, going to the library or whatever.

[420] But, like, here's what I learned last night that was actually genuinely like, I sat up and watched it.

[421] Here's how we got the moon.

[422] Back when the earth was, like, still cooling or whatever, an asteroid hit the Earth.

[423] The Earth?

[424] Yeah.

[425] And actually, like, in One day, it spun it around.

[426] It was an egg shaped for a little bit.

[427] And then some of the debris that came off the earth.

[428] I don't know if it was cooling or not.

[429] Are you sure we're just watching the beginning credits to Third Rock from the Sun?

[430] It did look exactly like it.

[431] But essentially, I think that's what they said.

[432] It either got knocked off the asteroid.

[433] No, it was a piece of the Earth that got knocked off.

[434] I think that's what it was.

[435] Listen, moon doctors, please comment and tell us.

[436] What's important is that I was paying close attention and I took the time to convey non -information to you.

[437] I thought I had the answer.

[438] It's the reason I was telling this whole story.

[439] It was because I'm pretty sure it was part of Earth that then just was part of the debris, that then everything else was too weak and got knocked out of orbit.

[440] And then it was just the moon and the earth, millions of years ago.

[441] That's what the CIA wanted to think.

[442] but really I fell for it We're in a fucking John Lithgow vehicle Was it John Lithgow?

[443] It was It was John Lithgow Kristen Johnson And Joe Does a good and live it That's not McCarthy's joke But it is It was a really cute show Stuart French French French Stewart Yeah Well done Well done That's right Can't miss the fourth Family member of aliens That's right I think the thing that bother me about that show is that I don't like aliens at all.

[444] And then that idea of like, oh, I don't want to watch people to act like aliens.

[445] It felt like, it kind of felt like a improv class exercise.

[446] All of you are from a different...

[447] They were all in an improv team and they decided like a show out of it.

[448] But they were good.

[449] Jane Curtin's on it, which is like, she's the best.

[450] It was a cast of superstars hands down.

[451] I'm not arguing.

[452] The performance has made it happen.

[453] Well, I want to fight about it.

[454] Okay.

[455] Can we talk really quickly about your chair.

[456] And how loud it is?

[457] It's getting louder.

[458] I know.

[459] I know.

[460] It's like getting louder and louder through like through the quarantine.

[461] Oh, okay.

[462] Um, I think I just need to burn it in the backyard.

[463] It's a rickety wooden chair.

[464] I don't know what I was thinking.

[465] We need to get, we need to get sponsored by like a really nice office furniture company.

[466] I wish office depot is still open.

[467] Stephen, are you, do you hear it?

[468] Yeah, it has been getting a little louder.

[469] Guys, stop attacking me. First of all, what's unfair about this whole conversation is that this exact, I did Never Not Funny, Jimmy Parto and Matt Bellknap's podcast.

[470] And someone goes, does somebody have one of those ball clacking things on there?

[471] And then I was like, oh, wait, sorry, that's me. When I get, like, I get an idea and I start scooting around in my seat.

[472] We'll get you.

[473] I feel like we could use.

[474] exactly right money bank card what do we have a money bank we could use the exactly right um what do they call petty cash to buy you a nice chair oh good idea i'm going to submit a form to daniel and see what she said yeah you need a nice chair stephen i actually do need a new office chair because it's like everyone guys let's get those ones that are like aerodynamic and they're black net and they're like really high backed yeah yeah and then we'll put one of those cab driver a beads things down the back of it I just need one of those you know those they call them husband loungers like the big pillows that have the armrests sure do remember that like my grandma used to you read her fucking Diane Steele novels Danielle Steele thank you yes no no Diane Steele she's a she's a different person oh she was recipe books mostly me and my sister got those for Christmas one year different colors but same thing and we carried them around they were so comfortable and fun.

[475] Okay, I'm getting one.

[476] You could lean anywhere and watch TV or like, you know, make any place.

[477] And then remember those, like, they would have the like clipboards, but like there'd be like a bead pillow padding underneath them.

[478] Yes.

[479] Like right on the clipboard, but like put it comfy.

[480] Right.

[481] Because it would shape to your, it would shape to your lap.

[482] Right.

[483] So you could really clipboard anywhere.

[484] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[485] Absolutely.

[486] And when you say vintage shopping.

[487] Did you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[488] Exactly.

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[505] Goodbye.

[506] Should we do some Q &A?

[507] Let's do Q &A.

[508] That's so fun.

[509] So in our fancote, we had a bunch of people.

[510] We just said, ask us questions.

[511] Do you want to go first?

[512] Do you want me to go first?

[513] Let me look.

[514] This is a good kickoff because we always love talking about food.

[515] And it's easy to talk about easy, fun.

[516] This is a good icebreaker.

[517] Yeah.

[518] Some of mine are fun and easy.

[519] Some of mine are interesting and thoughtful.

[520] Right?

[521] I think, yeah.

[522] We have a really good mix.

[523] I think everyone did a great job.

[524] Hello, dear friends.

[525] never met smiley face with punctuation do you like the chips on sandwich combo and if so what combo do you like i have two which i love they're asking a question and answer giving their own answer good job great baloney with doritos oh never even considered it i haven't thought about like cool ranch or nacho i'd say not that'd got to be nach okay because you need a strong Bologna is so medium to Bland.

[526] Cool ranch would just be like a little bit of salad dressing on there.

[527] Yeah.

[528] Right?

[529] Okay.

[530] What's right?

[531] Yeah.

[532] But that's a strong opinion.

[533] I basically said no, that's wrong about it entirely conceptual idea.

[534] Hi.

[535] Hi.

[536] If you wanted what it's like to be friends with me. Or turkey with ruffled chip.

[537] Absolutely.

[538] That's it.

[539] Those are great.

[540] Those are both great.

[541] Mine is.

[542] Oh, wait, sorry.

[543] Can I finish it?

[544] Yes.

[545] Some people call this hillbilly lettuce.

[546] and then they wrote ha thank you for everything rachel from cincinnati rachel from cincinnati rachel well done strong at the top solid fucking good question icebreaker conversational it's genuinely interesting plus my mouth is watering georgia you can ask this on a date this is your date question and i'm going to have it written on a piece of paper next to me and i'll say it real fast right when we sit down at the table so it's as awkward as possible.

[547] Do you like Voloni and Doritos?

[548] And then just start crying.

[549] There was a moment where the Mike, who is one of the great, great human beings on this planet, who's one of the people you follow in the story, he goes on a date with this girl and he's asking her questions like he had practiced and he's doing great.

[550] He's really doing great.

[551] Are they both on the spectrum?

[552] Like the people who are dating?

[553] They are.

[554] They meet at a, like a speed dating thing for people.

[555] Oh.

[556] So, So she suddenly just kind of shuts down and start staring around.

[557] And he's like, um, or any like asked another question that she says, excuse me. And then just gets up.

[558] And then it's like as she's walking away, she tells like, you can hear her tell a producer.

[559] I can't.

[560] I'm having anxiety.

[561] I can't.

[562] And I was just like, oh my God.

[563] That's so me. It's so mean.

[564] Just like mid conversation.

[565] You're like, sorry, this just peaked for me and I have to go.

[566] I have to go.

[567] I can't.

[568] This just reminded, this one word you used reminded me of this specific fucking thing in my childhood that just made me real sad.

[569] And now I can't fucking do this anymore.

[570] Goodbye.

[571] And as I, as it's happening to me, I am highly conscious of how I'm leaving this moment with you.

[572] And I know you think I'm weird.

[573] But I just need to get out of here.

[574] Please let me get out of here and I know it's not allowed and I know I'm in trouble and I know I'm bad.

[575] I'm bad.

[576] I'm bad.

[577] I'm bad.

[578] I'm bad.

[579] I'll never leave the house again.

[580] Okay.

[581] Okay.

[582] Tuna sandwiches with salt and vinegar chips.

[583] Ooh.

[584] That is by fucking, oh, I love it so much.

[585] That's number one.

[586] That sounds perfect.

[587] What kind of bread are you putting that on?

[588] Well, I'm talking about like a Jersey Mikes or like a deli sandwich.

[589] A hero?

[590] A hogi.

[591] A hogi, like deli sandwich style with fucking salt and vinegar chips.

[592] Yes.

[593] Right?

[594] Yeah.

[595] Yeah.

[596] That sounds so good.

[597] Oh, and vinegar chips are my favorite fucking chips.

[598] but if you eat like 50 you're ruined your mouth is ruined you're punished what's yours what's yours you're self -punished um god i have well first of all this makes me think of my friend don don fraser who used to put her french fries on her big mac which i never thought of doing and i watched her do it and i think she said something along the lines of like learn let me teach you how to live type of thing and he'd be it into it.

[599] I don't know if I like that though because I like having a side of things and they're both still good on their own.

[600] You don't need them together.

[601] But chips add like a nice crunch that you wouldn't get just on my fucking cooking channel again.

[602] Sorry, what do the salt and vinegar chips?

[603] They add a nice layer of crunch.

[604] Have you ever had an ice cream sundae with fucking salty crunched up potato chips on top?

[605] No. That is good.

[606] I thought you're I've had that on cooking channel.

[607] Have you really?

[608] Yeah.

[609] In Unique Sweets, there was this like, in Brooklyn, there was this like old school diner, like cutesy Sunday shop.

[610] And they would crush potato chips on top of a Sunday.

[611] It was fucking hot fudge.

[612] Hot fudge Sunday.

[613] Shit.

[614] Salty fucking, like plain potato chips on top.

[615] That is, that's epic right there.

[616] My mouth is watering.

[617] My mouth's hard.

[618] And I think partially it's tough, even just talking about salt and vinegar chips makes my mouth water almost defensively.

[619] I think I would have to say, though, for a chip combo situation, I'm so plain.

[620] I just love a turkey sandwich that I pick her suggestion, which is turkey with a ruffle deli sandwich.

[621] Ruffles are extra salty.

[622] So the chip salt is happening, but then they're going to bring some salt to the rest of the sandwich.

[623] They're that salty.

[624] And how about a nice club sandwich with.

[625] barbecue potato chips.

[626] I feel like club sandwiches are already too spiky and crunchy in and of themselves.

[627] There's too much going on already.

[628] You need the softness of like a nice shredded up deli turkey, some like Swiss in there and then boom a big fat ruffle.

[629] And you know what?

[630] I'm here for it.

[631] The rest of that and of course a nice dill pickle on there.

[632] But you could also get a ruffle.

[633] Have you ever had cheddar and sour cream ruffles?

[634] Yeah.

[635] So good.

[636] They're like I always look at them and go like, no, that's just crazy.

[637] It's not what you want.

[638] Stick those on there.

[639] Man, I miss going to parties where they would have fucking sour cream and onion dip.

[640] I miss it so much.

[641] Or like at the end of the night, that bowl of ruffles where there's 17 left and they're all sawy and the beer on them.

[642] And eight people's fingerprints all over them.

[643] Back when fingerprints wouldn't kill you.

[644] But you're starving because your friends don't know how to throw a party because they don't order any.

[645] They order six pizzas and there's like 50 people there.

[646] Let me see.

[647] You have to be there for the first two hours to get pizza.

[648] Right.

[649] Exactly.

[650] All right.

[651] So.

[652] Great job, Rachel.

[653] Should we go to another food one or should I go to like a serious one?

[654] Because I can't.

[655] My mouth will be too full of spit.

[656] That's true.

[657] Okay.

[658] Um, hi, murder pals.

[659] If you're all doing well, I was wondering, will you feel comfortable touring again when if things open back up?

[660] Love, love you all.

[661] Thank you for all you do.

[662] SDGM, Chelsea R. Chelsea R, my answer is yes.

[663] Yeah.

[664] It's just that it's so mysterious as to when that could be and what it would look like when it does happen.

[665] But who knows?

[666] I think we're not going to be the first wave or the second wave of people doing things again.

[667] I feel like we'll be ninth wave.

[668] You know?

[669] Yeah.

[670] We're going to be like, it's the double dutch of touring where we're like, uh -huh.

[671] Yeah.

[672] Keep going to be the people like on the evening news in fucking St. Louis where they're like, two podcasters got everyone in the fucking theater sick because they decided it would be a great idea to have a live show.

[673] It's, um, I would love to be so selfish as it be like, it'll be fine.

[674] Well, I'll be fine.

[675] But then if it's not, that's the worst.

[676] So, so, so yet, so the answer then is yes in 2028.

[677] See you then.

[678] I don't think, I think the soon as we would tour again is probably depending on how things go.

[679] Falls out, for sure, this fall.

[680] Winter's going to be out because then some people get sick again.

[681] So if you guys, if everyone wears their masks and your parents don't act like it's a fucking fake thing and everyone behaves, then maybe by next summer if things are going well, we would start to slowly tour again.

[682] That's the dream.

[683] That's the dream.

[684] Right?

[685] That's the drink.

[686] That's what we want.

[687] No, that's a good, that's the plan.

[688] Just put my hand into a thing of.

[689] hand lotion.

[690] As if we're not doing something right now.

[691] You're going to put a hand lotion on right now?

[692] Yeah.

[693] Grab it on your creaky old chair.

[694] I give up being some loo.

[695] Come on.

[696] It's a very dry room.

[697] Both the chair and I are creaky.

[698] What if they're instead of all this meowing at the end of the podcast, it's chair creaky?

[699] Say good night, chair.

[700] I like this one.

[701] Normally, I don't want to talk about stuff like this because it's conceptual and boring.

[702] It's like talking about your dreams.

[703] But this is something I think about obsessively.

[704] And it's this.

[705] And this is from Lemon Sublime.

[706] And they ask, if you could have exactly one five -minute conversation with your pets, what would you talk about?

[707] Oh, my God.

[708] Who would I pick?

[709] Okay, you go.

[710] Do you have one?

[711] Yes, 100%.

[712] Because I actually do ask them this all the time.

[713] I want to know where they were born how quickly their parents bailed on them the thing I love to ask George is did you have brothers and sisters and I just try to picture these dogs because I think both Frank and George were strays so they like George was found almost starving with Mange running around the streets of Hemet, California so I'm always like what happened because she looks like she's she looks like she has fancy dog in her.

[714] So it's like, did your, like, did your pedigree mother, you know, have an affair?

[715] A total.

[716] Or some stray.

[717] Was it a lady in the tramp situation?

[718] Yeah.

[719] And then how long were you alone and, like, what happened?

[720] Are you happy now?

[721] Yeah.

[722] Don't you think it's better now that you have your own room?

[723] You have your own fucking king size.

[724] What's it called mattress?

[725] Casper mattress.

[726] You have a podcasting mattress.

[727] You jerks.

[728] Isn't that better than the streets?

[729] Stop eating food off the counter.

[730] I just want to know their life story from a young age.

[731] I love that.

[732] I would like to know Mimi's as well.

[733] And I'm thinking, like, I already talked to Elvis and I'm pretty sure we're communicating on the same level.

[734] So, like, I don't need to talk to him.

[735] But Mimi, I just want to be like, I want to communicate to her that she is safe.

[736] And just because I love the other cats doesn't mean she going to die.

[737] and I'm, you know, and I tell her how I've never hurt her in her fucking life.

[738] So if I'm walking towards her, she doesn't need to fucking freak out and run away.

[739] I will never hurt her.

[740] I would like lay down in front of a car of her.

[741] Just kind of calm her and figure out why she's so, so mean and angry.

[742] Could it be that her mouth is so small?

[743] So tiny.

[744] She's mad about it?

[745] It could be.

[746] Like, just because I pet dottie doesn't mean there's less pets for her.

[747] That they don't exist.

[748] That doesn't exist in my life, you know?

[749] And like, she doesn't, and also she doesn't bite me so hard when she's hungry.

[750] It's not necessary.

[751] And then whatever she wants to say to me, I'll listen.

[752] Do you listen with an open heart and open ears?

[753] Yeah, but I have a feeling it's, she's not going to want to hear it.

[754] No. She's going to be like, there was that one time you walked toward me kind of fast.

[755] And I'd like an apology for that.

[756] That one time I stood underneath you and you accidentally stepped on my tail, now I don't trust you anymore.

[757] It's been 11 years.

[758] You did that.

[759] That's a cute question.

[760] Yeah, good job.

[761] Okay, this one says, do you ever miss recording in the podloft in Georgia's apartment, old apartment?

[762] I used to pretend I was drinking canned wine sitting on a couch with you when I was listening back in the early days.

[763] Oh, that's good.

[764] And that's Hannah from Michigan.

[765] Hi, Hannah.

[766] Hannah, good question.

[767] I actually just was writing a little essay about that and how much everything has changed since my first department we were recording in and then the pod loft and then the office that doesn't exist basically anymore and how I really loved.

[768] It felt like this like cozy cave that we used to record in, you know?

[769] And I enjoyed that.

[770] Yeah, it was great.

[771] It was great.

[772] No, I definitely miss the podloft.

[773] I have to say, though, the one I miss the most as the first apartment.

[774] It was just so kind of, it was like watching it all become real in front of our eyes.

[775] There was a very fascinating experience.

[776] Like, once we were into month four, and it was that thing where we were both realizing people were paying attention.

[777] Yeah.

[778] You know, I honestly just thought we were going to be doing this and, like, just be entertaining each other.

[779] Right.

[780] So then it was kind of like, as things would kick up, I just remember staring at that, like, the dresser that your TV was on.

[781] Or, like, you know, looking at you, but also looking at the sliding glass door behind your head.

[782] Yeah.

[783] It was like, you know, you have this many listeners or some kind of big news.

[784] Every week there was like a new, like, did you see this?

[785] Did you hear this person listens?

[786] Did you say, like, it was.

[787] Yeah.

[788] It was surreal.

[789] And it was, yeah, it was doing it from a like rent -controlled little janky apartment in Hollywood.

[790] then had no air conditioning.

[791] No air conditioning.

[792] The neighbors were grilling outside of my window, essentially.

[793] Remember that?

[794] Yeah, and there was the guy that played the video game that you could hear.

[795] I forgot about him.

[796] Remember the ghost train from the podlong?

[797] Yes.

[798] And then sometimes we lived above the tennis courts.

[799] There's like a dude playing tennis.

[800] Julian McCullough playing tennis.

[801] That's right.

[802] It was our neighbor.

[803] Oh, yeah.

[804] I feel like we have, I'm like kind of bumby.

[805] because I feel like my house, I was really hoping we moved into this house, and there would be like a perfect spot that I could convince you because I think you loved going into the office.

[806] Well, it was just so fun to have an office.

[807] It was just like, and also I knew the sound would be great, that there wouldn't be trains, planes or automobiles to worry about, you know?

[808] And I just like the fact that it matched the reality of what, where we were.

[809] That felt right to me. I think I just like being more casual.

[810] I think the more casual, the more like right now, I'm fucking lounging on the couch in two short shorts.

[811] You know, lazy like makes it feel more, more like less important and less like, you know, dire that we get something good done.

[812] It's just like two friends talking.

[813] One of you ever felt that pressure?

[814] My entire fucking.

[815] Breakthrough.

[816] It's a breakthrough episode.

[817] Okay.

[818] Well, I feel like when we come out of COVID, we're going to, the leases up our office.

[819] We're going to find a new space and this time we can actually like plan a room around just us podcasting where we both get what we want out of it and Stephen can maybe have a nice chair if he wants.

[820] I don't know.

[821] That's not amazing.

[822] No promises.

[823] No promises.

[824] Okay.

[825] This is simple and easy from Lori KB.

[826] Candy corn or Valentine Conversation Hearts.

[827] Oh, candy corn.

[828] Candy corn easy.

[829] Dude, so good.

[830] That other shit tastes like medicine.

[831] Candy popcorn pumpkins.

[832] Any of it.

[833] I love, the people that don't like that, I feel like they're just saying that to make me feel bad because I love harvest mix is a bomb.

[834] And also it really is just little piles of sugar.

[835] You get high off that shit if you have a hand from like harvest mix.

[836] Crushed animal bones, which is sad when you think about it.

[837] good for your nails.

[838] That's right.

[839] Look, if the harvest mix people could put a little message at the bottom of each pumpkin, it wouldn't hurt.

[840] I love the conversation heart concept, but...

[841] Yes, me too.

[842] I love conversation hard.

[843] I don't want to eat.

[844] It's like a fortune cookie.

[845] I fucking love fortune cookies.

[846] Nobody fucking makes them.

[847] That's a wasted calorie cookie, yeah.

[848] That's right.

[849] That's right.

[850] Come on.

[851] Also, you just stuffed yourself full of Chinese food.

[852] Like, good luck.

[853] Oh, so good.

[854] Okay.

[855] Let's see Easy or harder Have a quickie Would you rather live in a sailboat or RV That's from Lori KV That's a great question Oh Lori KB got two in a row Oh seriously?

[856] Yeah she did conversation hearts Oh she's good She's good She knows I can say right away It is not safe to live on a sailboat The ocean is not your friend There's all kinds of things happening There's no you know title waves in RVs, as far as I know.

[857] And I have really fun, good memories from childhood.

[858] My friend Janet Nielsen's grandparents came one time.

[859] And they had one of those RVs that we were probably seven years old.

[860] Yeah.

[861] But it was like a three -story house kind of RV when we were just like, the world.

[862] We got to drive her grandpa drove around while we just like played cards.

[863] Did you guys go camping and shirt?

[864] No, I think you're not, you're not going to do that anymore.

[865] You're not.

[866] You have to be strapped in when it's moving now.

[867] That was the 70s and 80s.

[868] I honestly think right now, and Vincent had talked about this, if we didn't have cats or if we had more chill cats, we would be just in an RV traveling with the country.

[869] Really?

[870] Yeah.

[871] And actually, I have really bad memories of it from childhood when my dad would get them for the summer, and it was just a nightmare of driving for fucking hours and hours.

[872] Where would you go to camp?

[873] He took us to Big Sur.

[874] We went to Grand Canyon.

[875] He's going to fuck it.

[876] I know he's going to call me and be like, well, by the way, that really meant a lot to me, and I just wanted to teach you guys to write.

[877] I know he's going to be mad at me for saying how bad.

[878] And I know when I wrote about it in the book, and he's like, I thought it was important learning experience.

[879] I'm like, it was, but I don't let camping now.

[880] So, you know, you can go on Airbnb or whatever and rent.

[881] People are renting out their RVs for like a night or two at the beach now.

[882] Oh, that's smart.

[883] The sailboats, I would do sailboats if I could bring the cats, but then I would just get fucking Z -Sick right now.

[884] it.

[885] I just think I love the concept.

[886] I think the people that do it are amazing and brave and cool, but I can think immediately of four different hideous stories of people that were like going around the world on a sailboat.

[887] Oh my God.

[888] In my mind, it's all dolphins meeting my dog that's on the fucking deck, but it's not really like that.

[889] It's not.

[890] Okay, you go.

[891] What about this?

[892] Oh, this is good and interesting and kind of what we talked about before, but of all the live shows you've performed.

[893] What's been your favorite venue and why?

[894] Venue.

[895] Where we've gone to.

[896] God, they're all, and they've all been, like, 90 % of them have been fucking incredible.

[897] And when they're not incredible, it's funny because it's like, what is this place?

[898] Yes, I love those ones.

[899] Yeah.

[900] I mean, there's so many.

[901] There's like the tech, the one in Texas, it was like the Toyota amphitheater.

[902] Yep.

[903] That was like the nicest place we've ever played.

[904] Yes.

[905] But then there's like the Orpham in LA, which means so much because it's your hometown.

[906] So it's like important.

[907] And that we could see.

[908] It was like house lights were up that whole show.

[909] I remember there was someone in the audience that I thought was my friend.

[910] And then I found out later they didn't go.

[911] And the whole time I thought.

[912] I can't see that far.

[913] Yeah.

[914] It was like, but that's how house lights up it was.

[915] Yeah.

[916] Yeah.

[917] Yeah.

[918] And then what's the one, the beacon in New York?

[919] Oh, I mean, that one's epic, so it feels really important.

[920] The ones I feel like, oh, I've heard of this place, and I know that this is a big fucking deal.

[921] Oh, I mean, Jesus, the fucking Randolph -Ropry.

[922] That's got to be the one, right?

[923] I mean, that was like, but I felt so, I felt like truly starstruck by the building in this way that I felt like some, you know, I don't want Carrie Underwood to be mad at us.

[924] You know what I mean?

[925] I had that feeling of like that we skip the line.

[926] Yeah.

[927] So I felt so intimidated.

[928] But I mean, obviously proud that we could even fill it.

[929] And that audience was so great that night.

[930] I mean, that audience was incredible.

[931] That night, we met backstage Glenn Campbell's daughter.

[932] Yes.

[933] Ashley Campbell, who's also an incredible musician now, too, like, following her father's footsteps.

[934] And she could not have been kinder.

[935] Yep.

[936] Other person I met that night, remember?

[937] Yep.

[938] was my, so my therapist, Kim, who I was with for two and a half years, and then took her own life out of nowhere.

[939] Her niece -in -law contacted me and was like, I was listening to the podcast and I heard you talk about Kim and I had to pull over and I couldn't believe it.

[940] I'm going to bring Kim's mom to the show.

[941] And so she came backstage and we got a hug and talk.

[942] And it was really, really, really, it felt powerful and deep and incredible.

[943] So, yeah, I guess that's the show.

[944] There was also that when we were in Anaheim, right?

[945] No, no, no. It was the first time we played Las Vegas, and it was the Red Rocks Resort, which was we had those unbelievable rooms.

[946] Our rooms had, like, we had mini swimming pools on the decks.

[947] It was crazy.

[948] It was three sizes bigger than my apartment.

[949] It was like hotel.

[950] We had three back rooms.

[951] Yeah, it was like something from cribs.

[952] It was great.

[953] And the view was to the mountains.

[954] It was gorgeous and amazing.

[955] And then we went down into that room and it was a little bit like you're saying, it wasn't a standard like venue room.

[956] It was like a, it was conference.

[957] It was almost like a banquet hall.

[958] It felt like two wedding banquet halls merged together.

[959] where they took the like the accordion wall.

[960] And there was like carpeting on the ground and then people were in just kind of like banquet seats.

[961] And that audience was on fire.

[962] There was something about the kind of like, we're just going to, we're going to make a show.

[963] My dad's got a stage.

[964] You bring your chairs.

[965] Like it had that feel.

[966] But that I remember walking on stage and it was like better than concert venue.

[967] Like the audience was doing something.

[968] Maybe it was just the biggest thing.

[969] Do you know what I think it might be, too, is when we go to places that are, like, vacation destinations instead of, like, people's hometowns, then everyone who's there is on vacation.

[970] On vacation, yes.

[971] So, everyone feels stoked and excited and loose and free and having a good time for days.

[972] That's so true.

[973] So maybe that's what Vegas does.

[974] Yeah.

[975] Like, go when we do Vegas.

[976] Because also, I feel like that's the vibe in San Diego.

[977] Like, people maybe come from out of town to go.

[978] Yeah.

[979] Because then we can.

[980] Santa Barbara.

[981] When we did Santa Barbara, that was like that, too.

[982] There was, but then there was also in, um, I loved Pittsburgh.

[983] I loved Pittsburgh.

[984] Oh, yeah.

[985] But someone with, um, where Papps is from?

[986] Milwaukee.

[987] Milwaukee.

[988] Yeah.

[989] Milwaukee, we've been to twice and that has always been.

[990] And there's, the people at the show are so generous.

[991] They gave us hardly Davidson leather jackets at his venue.

[992] Yes, that's right.

[993] That's the Riverside Theater, right?

[994] They're so incredible.

[995] That staff is the best.

[996] They treated us like straight up rock stars.

[997] it was crazy and yeah I mean they did a whole like like a whole spread of food that was like murder themed it was incredible we're always just we could just sit here and do this when if we've been treated badly when is the audience not been the greatest but we're also just always surprised that people know who we are there's in the early days in the early days when we were kind of by ourselves before Vince was our tour manager before you know we were totally totally had it tightened up or whatever.

[998] There was a couple of times where we were like, oh, you know, something.

[999] But, but never, once we hit the stage, it was always just like the same thrilling feeling.

[1000] Bad and then the gifts we get backstage make us feel like we're at home.

[1001] Like, we belong there.

[1002] There will be like local treats and like this is our best fucking, this is our donut shop that everyone loves.

[1003] Or this is like the bakery and this is the beer and this is the kombucha and this is, you know, it's really cool.

[1004] I mean, since this is a total like for for the listeners type of show anyway when you do a Q &A because it's like we're being lazy but we do where it is the thing of like we truly and literally won the super lottery when it comes to listenerships and the people who interact with the show and who are a part of this community we lucked out in a way it's crazy like every person is cooler than the last every person is funnier every person's more.

[1005] talented and crafty and like it's what wait wait i think i can answer this just so those are all the you know those are like the top top top we can do this i could honestly do this for hours um but that fucking theater i can't remember now i can't ask the toronto the toronto theater.

[1006] Stephen, you were there.

[1007] It was the one that, it's very kind of almost like 60s modern.

[1008] So it's like, it looks like it got designed and built when it was like, check it out, a big amphitheater or whatever.

[1009] We were there a couple nights, right?

[1010] Yep.

[1011] And we've done there a couple times too.

[1012] And so you walk out and it was like, so it's really big.

[1013] So it was one of the bigger audiences we ever had the first time we played it.

[1014] And then the audience was like, as if.

[1015] they were, it was like you couldn't write better responses for an audience and the way they were participating and enjoying the show.

[1016] It was crazy.

[1017] That's so true.

[1018] That's the one.

[1019] Sony Center.

[1020] In Toronto.

[1021] In Toronto.

[1022] Sony Center and Toronto.

[1023] It's up there.

[1024] And also that's when we got backstage, the meet and greet.

[1025] I believe that's the one where the woman brought, she made a sign that said, I shaved my face for this.

[1026] Remember we met her at the meet and greet?

[1027] She goes, I thought everyone, for some reason, I thought everyone was going to have signs.

[1028] She was all, like, self -conscious that she had brought that sign, which made me laugh.

[1029] So, uh, I love it.

[1030] We could do that.

[1031] I could honestly, and I would love to do this for two more hours.

[1032] And also the Sydney Opera House, too.

[1033] Oh, yeah.

[1034] We had to get guided in because it's so involved of how to actually get to the stage.

[1035] I miss it.

[1036] I really miss it.

[1037] Here's one.

[1038] Hi, friends.

[1039] When was a time in your life you felt aimless?

[1040] What helped you get through the day to, day during that time.

[1041] Do you have any routines that help you feel ready to face the world?

[1042] Thanks for being the good voices in my head during this time are.

[1043] Yeah, aimless.

[1044] I did aimless from age 18 to age 27.

[1045] For sure.

[1046] That's all I ever felt.

[1047] It was a constant, awful, where are you going to get money?

[1048] When are you going to have a career?

[1049] What are you doing with your life?

[1050] Are you seriously going to drink every minute of the day?

[1051] I mean, it went, it went on and on.

[1052] And as good things would happen in my life, they would absolutely be kind of like it, I could, I didn't have a good enough practice to be like focusing on that and, and doing other good things that like felt good.

[1053] It would be like, oh, I got, you know, I get to do a set on a TV show.

[1054] I'm not going to plan that set.

[1055] And I'm going to drink the night before.

[1056] Just like insane bad behavior.

[1057] So like prove your point that you can't do anything right.

[1058] Like almost like I got convinced that aimless was the way I had to be and I couldn't graduate out of it.

[1059] Um, which was aimless comfortable in a way that was like, well, if you're aimless, well, it's all I knew.

[1060] It's all I knew.

[1061] It wasn't like, I knew a lot of people who were like, well, then I went to a business school and then I did this and I got this blazer or whatever.

[1062] And I was always like, oh, I don't want to do any of that.

[1063] But I also have a terrible feeling.

[1064] about my future all the time.

[1065] Yeah, I get that.

[1066] I think for me, I think from like 27 on for me, like 27 to 30 something felt, like especially the late 20s felt really aimless.

[1067] Like I didn't know what I the same exact thing.

[1068] But I think for me, like the thing that got me out of that was thinking about was like this American life.

[1069] Listening to that made me feel so hopeful and creative and wanting to, like it gave me a sense of like, purpose and wanting to strive for something.

[1070] Every fucking story was so beautiful and the journalism and the storytelling and the, like, in I or glass so incredible.

[1071] And it's these beautiful pieces of like a picture of a life.

[1072] And it felt so inspiring to me. Oh, that's true.

[1073] Everyone's interesting, different stories.

[1074] So I think like Radio Lab and This American Life are really instrumental in like helping me be creative.

[1075] That's actually interesting because I I think the way I did it was thinking about the fact that this is my story.

[1076] So it sounds very similar.

[1077] And I kept, I would have to say to myself, this can't be the story picture of this.

[1078] If somebody was watching a movie and you're the movie, this sucks.

[1079] Like, this is not fun to watch.

[1080] It's the same thing over and over again.

[1081] Like, do something else.

[1082] I think I got a sense of myself instead of just being the, like, right in myself, freaking out and like kind of self -obsessed, I somehow figured out that stepping out and looking at and then being like, well, I can't, I'm not going to worry my way into something better.

[1083] I have to like do different things.

[1084] I love that.

[1085] I looked for like spare change in old coat pockets for so long.

[1086] Like I think the aimless thing, I think a lot of like, if you're like writing that in and you're 25, don't worry about it.

[1087] because that's you're supposed to have difficulties and you're supposed to kind of like trudge through your early life so that you have experiences so you smarten up and you get a sense of the world and how it works and that let people mentor you let people teach you stuff you're this isn't american idol you're not supposed to step out and like dazzle everybody when you're 25 no one expects you to you're not that smart so give yourself a break and smarten up and like become a student of the world and don't worry about like the presentation because you need to like I think it's like I'm saying this as much to my like 24 year old self as anything else but it's like we all we're so results oriented and we're so performance oriented and we're so like selfie oriented social media style when actually like younger people should just be actually doing things like get a job somewhere.

[1088] and let someone tell you how to do a thing and be and learn a skill, learn a trade, like experience life.

[1089] Yeah.

[1090] You have to experience.

[1091] That in like, I feel like that I love the idea of being like, if I, is this chapter of my life anything I'll ever want to write about one day or, you know, and if it's not, then have, then make sure you're experiencing things, making friends, having relationships, doing meaningful things for yourself that so when you look back on it in 10, 20 years, you're proud of the amount of experiences you were racking up.

[1092] I think for me, like writing a blog really helps because I always wanted something interesting to write about.

[1093] So even if I was terrified about online dating, I could be like, well, I'm going to fucking blog about it.

[1094] So it's okay.

[1095] And it was like a fun experiment instead of, you know, just a stagnant life.

[1096] yeah and it's also you have to remember it's the judgment about it like what if you were just the most aimless person like if you're worried about being aimless be extraordinarily aimless like go just discover what that actually means as opposed to oh you're just not a lawyer yet like your parents told you you should be or whatever expectation that you're setting on yourself to to judge yourself instead you know open the door a little wider maybe for yourself and and maybe you're not supposed to figure out what you want to do with your life, your partner, any of that shit until you're 40.

[1097] Why do you have to be fucking, or 50?

[1098] Why do you be 28 and know everything?

[1099] No, you don't.

[1100] That's a weird old thing.

[1101] Yeah.

[1102] That's a weird old thing.

[1103] Because also it's like, I thought I knew what I wanted when I was 24.

[1104] And then I changed my mind when I was, it didn't work.

[1105] Like I didn't, you know, it wasn't happening.

[1106] And you're growing to do.

[1107] There's so much growing left.

[1108] And also like, you get to, you get to like change midstream and try something else if, if your original plan isn't working.

[1109] You get to do that like four times.

[1110] Yeah.

[1111] Don't let.

[1112] Okay, this is, this is awesome.

[1113] I'm going back.

[1114] I'm going back to the topic we love.

[1115] What's the best thing you've eaten in quarantine?

[1116] That's a hard one because Vince and I have been glutton city over here.

[1117] Let's get honest about quarantine binging.

[1118] I'm ready.

[1119] For some reason, I think it's been really comforting, I think to both of us is eating our childhood favorites.

[1120] Yep.

[1121] So, like, we did Hungry Man dinners, TV dinners.

[1122] I've been eating Ritz peanut butter crackers every day.

[1123] I'm going to ask you to go back to the Hungry Man dinners.

[1124] Here's what I used to just go crazy for about the Hungry Man dinners.

[1125] Saving that little pie thing till the end.

[1126] A little brownie.

[1127] Oh, my God.

[1128] It's so good.

[1129] Is it always a brownie or is it different flavors with different meals?

[1130] That's different flavors with different meals.

[1131] Can you just walk us through different desserts so far that you, or just how about the whole thing?

[1132] Like, what different hungry mans have you guys been enjoying?

[1133] Well, I only get the fried chicken dinner because I fucking love it.

[1134] And we actually had a couple weeks there where we were like every Sunday we're getting fried chicken from a different place.

[1135] Nice.

[1136] So that was happening for a while.

[1137] So then Vince, but Vince will get like Salisbury steak, which looks disgusting.

[1138] He's like, do you want to ask me if I want to buy it?

[1139] And I was like, absolutely not.

[1140] And then it was just not.

[1141] It wasn't what I thought it would be.

[1142] And then he also, there's like a...

[1143] It's like gravy mushroom.

[1144] Yeah.

[1145] It's for boys.

[1146] And then he did like a turkey dinner thing.

[1147] And then we also got like a Swedish meatball situation.

[1148] That's been fun.

[1149] Okay.

[1150] Can you remember what the desserts for those were?

[1151] Those were all brownies, I think.

[1152] Really?

[1153] Maybe they only do brownies now.

[1154] I'm not sure.

[1155] But the brownies are fucking legit.

[1156] All like crispy and microwave and half like a piece of corn stuck in it.

[1157] So you're not a traditional ovening these.

[1158] You are microwaving them?

[1159] No. No, we haven't it.

[1160] Oh, okay.

[1161] Oh, yeah, you couldn't because they're aluminum foil.

[1162] Are they still aluminum foil?

[1163] No, girl, no. It's plastic now.

[1164] The last one I had was in 1978.

[1165] All right.

[1166] It hasn't been an aluminum foil, baby dinner around here?

[1167] 25 of you.

[1168] Let's see what else are we eating.

[1169] It's like a lot of experimentation where it's like I told Vince I like cookies and cream ice cream, and so now he is ordering every single brand of cookies and cream ice cream until we find the one that's the best.

[1170] Dude.

[1171] Okay.

[1172] of all again congratulations on having the best husband of all time secondly because he really is he really he really is he really is second of all the times i've had to have a talk with myself because of me ordering ice cream from postmates where it's just like i actually have begun to plan what the other things i eat during the day like i can't have it unless i only eat crazy good all day long and then order from a because there's so many like um fancy bespoke ice cream places in like in the valley you can get anything man have a green shake for breakfast every day and you can end that you're fine so said i the doctor and the nutritionist left doctor but i will say that i was going to tweet the other day this this sentence the secret star of quarantine question mark that spoonful of peanut butter because I can't tell you how many times I've just been kind of like wandering around aimlessly and then I'm like oh wait I can have a teaspoon of peanut butter to pass the time I will say that like with Vince I haven't had the resort to peanut butter because I don't when I get in this brain area of stress and anxiety and worry I look in the fridge or the cupboard and go fuck it and just don't eat So, like, he's definitely been sure that I'm eating, but that means we eat whatever he wants.

[1173] So, like, you know, for dinner there, right, we had fucking chili cheese dogs, which I'm stoked on.

[1174] He's been making a lot of tater tots and, like, tater crowns, which is like a fucking woodbress thing I didn't know about.

[1175] What is that?

[1176] It's like they're little, like, they're like, you know, when you get Burger King hash browns in the morning, but they're like flat.

[1177] Sure.

[1178] It's like that instead.

[1179] That's a lot of, yeah, we've been eating a lot of.

[1180] Midwesterny stuff and like hearty feeling thing.

[1181] It's been like comforting.

[1182] That's great.

[1183] Yeah.

[1184] Mett Milanos, a lot of Mipelanos.

[1185] Oh, those are classic.

[1186] I keep making cassidias.

[1187] Oh, yeah.

[1188] Simple, easy.

[1189] But then it also, it feels like I'm actually making something real.

[1190] Like I kind of am like, sorry, I have to stand at the oven for a while like an actual adult.

[1191] And it's just a case.

[1192] Yeah.

[1193] But then I'll sometimes order from Sharkies, which is a rad.

[1194] Mexican place in L .A. It's a chain that's so good and everything is really well made and then get their salsa.

[1195] So then I'm having my homemade acideo with some real good fire roasted salsa.

[1196] We've talked about it.

[1197] I'm not saying this to be hacky.

[1198] Zanku chicken it's just it's everything and you know it's good kind of good for you or at least like it's you know lean.

[1199] It's perfect.

[1200] This is from Sierra and it says what advice would you give to someone who's struggles with self -confidence.

[1201] As someone who is often second -guessing herself, it's so comforting to listen to both of you be real.

[1202] This may sound like a backwards compliment, but even when you make mistakes on the podcast, know that you're both inspiring murderinos to keep going because we're all human.

[1203] Love to you both, Sierra.

[1204] So the question is, after all that, is what advice would you give to someone who struggles with self -confidence?

[1205] Don't beat yourself up for struggling with self -confidence, you know?

[1206] Like, that's, I think, such a big barrier everyone puts, we put in our way of, like, because we're not perfect, we suck.

[1207] Yes.

[1208] I think, like, once you learn to accept yourself as a flawed, as a, like, hilariously, charmingly, real flawed person, then you can forgive yourself a little more, be yourself a little more, you know, which is a beloved person to a lot of people.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] And I think the, it's, yeah, it's, you're not going to ever get self -confidence from someone else.

[1211] So I think a lot of people think that where it's like, oh, if I just get, if I line certain things up, then suddenly that will be like the answer.

[1212] I'll be physically perfect.

[1213] I'll be, I'll say the perfect thing.

[1214] like everyone makes shit up of like here's how they base it on other people they've seen of like I wish I could be like him or her and and it's all made up you just have to kind of cop to the fact that all of your attempts if you're struggling with self -confidence because you think you did it wrong a couple times or you think you don't have what it takes to do it and that's all made up and and I will say this it's going to sound mean but it's the truth it's boring to be in And I'm saying that as a person who has been deeply boring about her insecurities for most of her life.

[1215] It took me a long time to realize it.

[1216] But ultimately, you standing there, picking at yourself and only being like, is my hair okay or whatever?

[1217] It's a fucking bore.

[1218] Bring more to the table.

[1219] You know, like get some, get some interesting trivia and focus on other people.

[1220] That will help you so much.

[1221] Yeah.

[1222] And let it go.

[1223] Let it go.

[1224] idea of this person you're supposed to be that you're not holding to anyone else, yeah, you can try really hard to be perfect and it's not going to work and you're going to be unhappy and you're not going to be that fun to be around and it's fucking struggle every day or you can let it go and do your best to be a good person and a good friend and become someone you like to become a person that you would want to be friends with, I think is the goal.

[1225] like if you're going to go to say this future a future party that will happen in five years um what like because when thinking about like what makes you not have self confidence so is it like speaking to other people that you don't know at a party or is it something to do with work or whatever kind of figure out what the area is that you've decided you are less than somehow in and then work you know what I mean like if it say it's a party then go with like 10 topics that that you could talk about, that you could ask people, do you care about the locked nest monster?

[1226] That right there is a fascinating thing to ask someone at a party, as opposed to trying to stand and like look perfect or be something like that where it's like or act cool, quote unquote, which by the way, if you think you're quote unquote acting cool, you are not.

[1227] You're kind of a dick.

[1228] I promise you, you're not cool.

[1229] And it's like, and then people come back later and be like, Oh yeah, I remember meeting you, you seemed like you seemed really unhappy or you seen a bitch or something.

[1230] Instead, it's like if you can figure out how to focus on other people, I think that's the key.

[1231] Definitely.

[1232] I love that.

[1233] How do you determine which story submissions you share during minisodes?

[1234] And that's from Aaron.

[1235] We read them.

[1236] So specific, though.

[1237] It's so like, it has to be this, like, well -written actual story that has heart.

[1238] the heart of the writer, the writer, and a fascinating story, right?

[1239] Yeah, and I think sometimes, like, yeah, I think if you write the hometown to try to sound like us, to make us happy, we probably won't pick it because that just sounds like us.

[1240] And instead, if you write it, if we can get to know you through the way you tell your story, that's the most fun of all.

[1241] And, yes, and then also if your story is.

[1242] good, then you're just off to the races.

[1243] But I think sometimes people try to, like, please us with the presentation, kind of.

[1244] Yeah, yeah.

[1245] Instead of, like, I wouldn't, that doesn't happen that often, but I think it's like, that would be the thing that doesn't make me pick something.

[1246] It's like, it doesn't sound genuine.

[1247] Like, trust that you're interesting as you naturally write, because it is.

[1248] Yeah.

[1249] Be earnest and honest and talk about what you like and you'll seem cool and interesting.

[1250] And tell us what your grandparents' names are.

[1251] Oh, Elvis.

[1252] Hi.

[1253] What sound or noise do you hate?

[1254] Oh, wind chimes.

[1255] For real?

[1256] Yeah, they make me sad.

[1257] I just remember coming home from school, after school.

[1258] No one was home in the house because I was a feck and lachy kid and it would just be like it'd be getting like dusk and then I could hear my neighbor's wind chimes and it would just be like, You were really alone.

[1259] Where was Lee?

[1260] Where was Asher?

[1261] Lee was probably at, you know, her friend's house and Asher was probably at some like fucking practice.

[1262] You know, everyone kind of just did their own.

[1263] We were all roommates and just sit around fucking thing.

[1264] Very independent.

[1265] Yeah.

[1266] So like all the lights in the house would be off and it would be getting dark.

[1267] And then I hear wind shimes in and make me real sad.

[1268] Yeah.

[1269] Yeah, that makes sense.

[1270] What about you?

[1271] Hate.

[1272] Because I see, I grew up, my sister had misophonia growing up.

[1273] So it's the thing where you, there's certain sounds that you hate or like a sensitivity to sound.

[1274] So literally I could not eat cereal anywhere near her.

[1275] Anywhere near her.

[1276] And anytime I chewed gum, she would immediately be mad.

[1277] So she had that thing where it was like she could hear your like mouse sounds.

[1278] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1279] What I just did would infuriate my sister.

[1280] so I think everything that's coming to mind is her thing because you're so like it's just all her problem but I guess I would say like hate well I really hate when like cars with loud mufflers on purpose go by like either motorcycles or the cars those make it doesn't make sense to me it's so rude it's so rude it's so rude it's like setting off car alarms and waking up babies and stuff where it's just kind of like just to do it is it like is it a biker thing of like fuck you all have no muffler and you'll all pay is it that I get when they I get when they're tuned up a little bit so that the cars can hear them like that's one reason that they do turn all that stuff up a little bit is so when you go buy a car they hear you and so they don't hit you they know you're coming but when they do it in a when they're on the highway for the blind when the fuck well you know what I mean like people are fucking stupid they will you know so you can see a car coming or the motorcycle coming but when they do it just to like rev up and shit those are the ones that there's yeah it's um but I'm trying to think of like that you know what is what is a nails on the chalkboard type of sound to me like a similar thing like that I thought of my answer it's so obvious I don't want to listen to 911 calls oh yeah that's the thing I can't do I was like I know there's something that the second it starts I go turn it off turn it off and it's yeah any serial killer or any like criminal being recorded and talking and any 911 call I don't want to want to hear it.

[1281] That's a good one.

[1282] It was right there all along.

[1283] Okay, you want to do the last one?

[1284] Yeah.

[1285] Karen.

[1286] Yes.

[1287] It says, what is the most important thing you have learned from Georgia?

[1288] Georgia.

[1289] What's the most important thing you've learned from Karen?

[1290] And that's from Elizabeth T. First of all, I learned a lot of things from you.

[1291] But I'm trying to think of what the most important.

[1292] I think it's this.

[1293] Honestly, you got to start, you, you immediately, if you, if you start a podcast, immediately start making merch, immediately.

[1294] Merch is it.

[1295] Merch is where it's at.

[1296] Get on that.

[1297] People want shirts.

[1298] Make shirts.

[1299] Get into merch.

[1300] Take it seriously.

[1301] It's important.

[1302] It's fun.

[1303] It is fun.

[1304] It's so fun.

[1305] That's my favorite thing.

[1306] We're real good new designs coming.

[1307] That's right.

[1308] We totally do.

[1309] Yep.

[1310] But you did cry when we saw it.

[1311] I loved it.

[1312] I think I learned from you a very important thing that I'm going to carry with me my whole life.

[1313] It's okay to and how to say no. You don't agree when you don't want to do something.

[1314] I think I've been such a like, I don't want to disappoint anyone my whole fucking life.

[1315] So I've been really, I've done things that I don't want to do.

[1316] I've said yes to this, especially with work, you know, everything feels like dire and I have to do it to a point where I'm going crazy.

[1317] But like, it's okay to say no. And I actually become less of a flaky person than a happier person because instead of saying yes to something and then in a month being like, I don't want to do that.

[1318] I'm flaking.

[1319] Yes, that it's immediately and like that's, I know that's not something I want to do or I know that's not something that's going to make me feel good.

[1320] and that people won't hate you if you say no like it's not a negative and if they do then that's their fucking problem not yours yeah they're probably a dick and also you yeah it's like I yeah I learned thank you I learned that crucial thing long ago which is this standard should be no and you like it has to be really good to say yes because what you do and your energy and your time and your attention matters and is valuable.

[1321] And if you have a thing where you're constantly people pleasing randomly, then anyone can can like energy vampire you.

[1322] Anyone can take anything and will always be able to manipulate you and like guilt, quote unquote, guilt you.

[1323] And that shouldn't be an option for anyone except for like your favorite aunt, you know, your sister.

[1324] or brother you know what I mean like that's like it's it's you have to have your inner circle and then everything else is like you don't owe anybody a favor you don't owe anybody anything it's just a good I think it's good self -preservation don't do it so much that you close down um or you know like I can be I can be very like I'll fight immediately but that's just you know that's just how I was raised you got but it's also but it's also like it dilutes your yes.

[1325] When you say yes all the time.

[1326] Yeah, it dilutes, it dilutes it dilutes.

[1327] You're making me?

[1328] Yes.

[1329] Yeah.

[1330] Whereas if you say no to things and are actually choosing things that matter to you and saying yes to things that are important, then when you say yes to those things, it matters more.

[1331] Yeah.

[1332] In this cosmic way.

[1333] And also it's just the, you know, whether, because this, we could be talking about going to a party or doing someone's favor or doing a project or whatever.

[1334] Whatever it is is just you have to take it in and they go, what do I really think?

[1335] You have to like take the pause and really go like, what's the let's look at this.

[1336] What would happen six months from now?

[1337] What's the bigger picture thing?

[1338] And like actually weigh it all out in a serious way.

[1339] It's good.

[1340] Because then you're being strategic about your own life.

[1341] Yeah.

[1342] And there's an amount of yourself spiritually that you can give away that eventually it's going to hit a wall and you're going to be exhausted from doing things for other people constantly.

[1343] It's going to spiritually deplete you.

[1344] Well, and also it's that support, if you keep on saying yes for that reason, it supports the belief the only good you are is of use to other people.

[1345] And that's incorrect.

[1346] That's like your boundaries actually are what make people like you.

[1347] Having the self -respect to say, no thanks and not right now makes people go, oh, okay, I can't just like walk right over that person.

[1348] It's like, it's a misconception.

[1349] I think that often a lot of women have, that it's like if I'm not nice and agreeable.

[1350] Of service.

[1351] Of service to people.

[1352] Yeah.

[1353] That's just kind of a weird old idea that I feel like now young women of today have that in hand.

[1354] But, you know, if you were raised by moms that were raised to believe that, then like, that's just you got you got that lesson early and often which is smile make sure people like you make sure you're nice like it's this idea that you're supposed to be the kind of Appleby's hostess to the world and that's fucking bullshit yeah and certainly built up my confidence for sure being able to to know my worth and and know that I'm not worthless if I'm not of service just to whoever fucking wants it yeah which is not to say you can't be a slut get out there do what you want The point is do what you want, not what other people want.

[1355] Right.

[1356] Do what and who you want.

[1357] Do what you like.

[1358] Well, that's it.

[1359] That's it.

[1360] That was the Q &A.

[1361] That was the Q &A.

[1362] That was so fun.

[1363] Thanks for tuning in, all you deep, dark, murderinos.

[1364] Yes, thank you, VanCult for asking great questions and thoughtful questions and plenty of snacks and food questions.

[1365] That's right.

[1366] Those are, there's so many more questions we'll ask one day.

[1367] I absolutely am going to buy a fried chicken hungry man dinner and try it out on your wreck.

[1368] That sounds really fun.

[1369] Brad.

[1370] Yay.

[1371] Thanks for listening.

[1372] Thanks, Stephen.

[1373] Good job.

[1374] Everyone, you guys are the best.

[1375] Thanks for listening.

[1376] I hope you're doing well in quarantine.

[1377] Yes.

[1378] Stay strong.

[1379] Stay healthy.

[1380] Stay sexy.

[1381] And don't get murdered.

[1382] Goodbye.

[1383] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[1384] Ah!