#697 - Christopher Ryan

[0] Start.

[1] That could be, you know.

[2] Chris Ryan and I have decided that for my friend, Steve Renazizi, who just admitted that he lied about working in the September 11th, the Twin Towers during September 11th, that we're just going to lie all day.

[3] So this podcast is all bullshit.

[4] Everything we say, psychologically, this is a tough one for me because I really like Steve.

[5] He's a good friend.

[6] I really like that guy.

[7] I see him in the comedy store all the time.

[8] I've known them for years.

[9] I really like them.

[10] And then I see this and I'm just like, Jesus Christ, you know what gets me?

[11] What gets me when someone does something like this is I imagine what it would be like to be them, to have told some sort of a crazy lie and got stuck telling it where you're repeating it over and over again.

[12] And then you just got, it just becomes like it's locked in.

[13] It's like, how do you erase it?

[14] How do you go back and take a lie away?

[15] Especially if you transition from like a regular guy who just bullshits with his friends to a public figure.

[16] Like, I guess this guy got famous at some point, right?

[17] So then you've got your lies that all your friends think are true.

[18] And now you're doing interviews with the fucking Wall Street Journal or whatever.

[19] And if that comes up, what do you do?

[20] You stick to your guns or you humiliate yourself, you know, in your private circle, you know?

[21] Because you got to, there's that...

[22] Well, apparently he did humiliate himself in his private circle.

[23] He pulled Ari and a few guys aside years ago and told him that it wasn't true.

[24] No shit.

[25] Yeah.

[26] Oh, that's interesting.

[27] Yeah, I mean, I guess it's been fucking with him forever.

[28] I just, you know...

[29] Good for him.

[30] He's coming out of the closet.

[31] Although he got pulled out of the closet, I think you have pulled out by the New York Times.

[32] I think the New York Times got him.

[33] Yeah.

[34] know, they do their research, and they found out that he didn't really work for Merrill Lynch.

[35] You know, he said he worked for Merrill Lynch for, like, a year and a half as an account manager.

[36] Didn't really work with Merrill Lynch.

[37] Well, as you were saying before the mics went on, like, what a dumb -ass lie?

[38] Like, oh, Merrill Lynch account manager?

[39] Wow, let me suck your dick.

[40] Like, who gives a shit?

[41] You used to work for Merrill Lynch?

[42] Hey, I used to be an accountant, baby, you know?

[43] I like how lies for Chris Ryan immediately translate into potential sex.

[44] Why else would you lie?

[45] nothing else is worth it you know I guess to get a better job or something maybe that would be something I don't want a job my entire life has been about avoiding ever having a job other than blow job writing books even just like god let me just get this out of the way so I don't have to have a job dude I don't ever want to write another fucking book in my life even that I'm trying to get out of that's hilarious but you're an author you're an established a successful author and you're like fuck i don't want to do that dude i wrote a book and suddenly was running a business like i never wanted to have a business i'm not a business guy what is the business chris ryan ink you know what it's like if like you you're in the paper suddenly managers are calling you and lawyers and you've got account you know right you got the sort of parasite infrastructure that glombs on to you like you know those things on the bottom of boats you know and it's like no offense to any accountants who or parasite but you know what i mean right i mean and and so i mean you know jo rogan enterprises is a huge thing you know and you must that must take a lot of time a lot of attention and so even in my you know micro scale it's just a giant pain in the ass it certainly can be fortunately for me i don't think of anything that i'm doing as like really work work yeah you know it's just stuff i enjoy doing that happens to be an occupation rather than But yeah And also I mean What you're doing You're at a level where you can afford to hire Good people to help you I'm not Right And my wife is useless So So I mean she's a wonderful woman Don't give me wrong And she's very good at certain things But you know Producing a podcast Editing a book You know This kind of stuff I need someone to do I mean I have to answer her emails You know She can't be bothered When you when you hear guy like this Renazizi story when you hear a lie does that does it freak you out you know what here's the thing that freaks me out and it freaks me out like even like the Jared from subway thing or when I read something about some guy who was methed up I forget what the article was about I think what the article was about a guy who was friends with a guy who turned out to be a murderer and it's about a guy who got methed up and and got involved in some rough sex with some prostitute and killed her and then solder up and and left her fucking body and bags and shit.

[46] It could have been an accident.

[47] Whenever I hear about anybody who's just gone completely off the rails like that, I always say, okay, if I was that guy, if I was born in his shoes, if I lived his life, would I have been that fucking guy?

[48] Like, how much of what we are is determinism?

[49] You know, how much of what we are is based on the events that took place that have, that are completely outside of our control about how much of it is how we were raised.

[50] I mean, we've all heard people tell terrible stories about how their parents raised them, terrible stories about the environment they're forced into.

[51] And you always wonder, like, how much of who each one of us is is based on a bunch of shit that's completely outside of your control.

[52] And how much of these events that take place, whether it's the Jared from Subway thing or I had my friend Barry Crimmons on, who's this great comedian and a real icon in Boston.

[53] And Bobcat Goldwaite did a film on him about his horrific childhood sexual abuse.

[54] He was raped when he was four years old by his babysitter's boyfriend.

[55] And it was this horrific, horrific story.

[56] And, you know, this is something completely outside of this guy's control and how much of who he is now is based on that.

[57] Well, he's like in his 50s, and this is like still something he's dealing with.

[58] with from when he was four you know it's just you what you are now is like this series of these series of events that have kind of a lot of them just laid out in front of you without you having any control over it at all now here you are and when I see a guy that does something really crazy I mean this is like minorly crazy we're not talking about a horrific crime like a Bill Cosby thing or something like that.

[59] We're back to the comedian now.

[60] Yeah, the comedian.

[61] Yeah.

[62] Not the chopped up prostitia.

[63] No, no, no, no. I mean, Steve, Renazizi, my friend, you know, what he did was just doesn't make any sense.

[64] Like, and you just wonder, like, what it must be like, fuck, to be that guy who's done that.

[65] It was just, like, said this thing for no fucking reason.

[66] It doesn't make any sense and then has to stick with it.

[67] Just, I don't, I mean, that's my angle on these things instead of getting upset about me especially this one so but how does that relate to what you're saying do you feel like if you may if you were in the position he was in you might have done something similar i always worry that yeah i always whenever i see someone do anything crazy like murder or craziness or anything i always say well how much of who you are is because of your life experiences a lot of them outside of your control your genetics your parents the where the environment that you were raised up in the people that you came in contact with when you were younger.

[68] How much of that is who you are today in 2015?

[69] I think it's, God damn it, I think it's a lot.

[70] And so I see this guy, you know, my friend, and again, Steve Renazizi, what he did was just dumb.

[71] It's not evil.

[72] It's not, nobody got hurt, you know.

[73] I mean, he might have hurt someone's feelings, people that actually were survivors of 9 -11.

[74] That's potentially possible.

[75] But you know what I mean?

[76] He didn't rape anybody.

[77] He didn't murder anybody.

[78] it's just fucking what happened how does that how does the brain get so fucking tweaked so and of the lies he's been busted for the i was in the twin towers at nine 11 is the one that everyone's focused on you know one gives a fuck about lying about working from maryland right well although i don't understand why you would right like you said unless and also like you know i would argue that Anyone who was a survivor of 9 -11 who was actually there has bigger issues to think about than some comedian is.

[79] So I would argue he didn't really hurt anyone except himself now that he's, you know, busted.

[80] Rationally, yeah, you're right.

[81] So who gives a shit, you know?

[82] And everybody in public life is lying on some level, right?

[83] You've got a persona and you have to be true to that persona even.

[84] I mean, I remember when I first sat down with this producer to.

[85] to talk about doing a TV show, which ultimately never got made, like most TV shows.

[86] But when we were, like, putting together the whole summaries of the episodes and all this stuff, he said, so what's your on air?

[87] Who are you going to be on the show?

[88] And I said, what do you mean?

[89] It's like, I'm just going to be me. He said, no, are you going to be like the funny guy?

[90] Are you going to be the really smart professorial guy?

[91] You know, what's your image, your persona going to be?

[92] I said, I'm just going to be me. He said, oh, you're going to be authentic with air quotes.

[93] I said, what the fuck is that?

[94] No, I'm going to be authentic.

[95] He's like, no, on TV, you can't be really authentic.

[96] The most you can be is, quote, authentic, because you have to be the same every fucking episode.

[97] And if you come in one day and you're feeling pissed off because you just had a fight with your wife or, you know, you got diarrhea or whatever your issue is, you can't express that.

[98] you have to be the same guy you were last week.

[99] But why is that?

[100] Consistency.

[101] Well, it's entertainment.

[102] But that's the medium, though.

[103] The medium is just so limiting in that way that people expect that every week.

[104] That's one of the cool things about a podcast is that they kind of don't.

[105] Like when you do tangentially speaking, you can kind of like, be you.

[106] Nice.

[107] Yeah.

[108] I try to, but still, I am conscious of the distinction between who I really.

[109] really am and who people are getting the impression I am.

[110] And I try to be, like, just the last episode I did a, in the intro, I did a little thing about, because people were writing to me saying, like, what's it like to go from, like, some nobody in Barcelona to TED Talks and Rogan Show and all the stuff, right?

[111] What's that like?

[112] Did you, like, feel it happening?

[113] Did you expect it?

[114] Did you, is it like being on a river and it was just flowing that way or were you swimming toward it, you know?

[115] And so I tried to address it a little bit.

[116] And what I said was in my very minuscule experience, fame is like wine that tastes really good and can only get you drunk while it's in your mouth.

[117] So you swallow it quickly.

[118] I know, it's not the best thing.

[119] The other metaphor I thought it was like, oh, okay, okay.

[120] So if it's in your mouth, it gets you drunk, but if you swallow it, you're fine.

[121] You're fine.

[122] Right.

[123] So you, I mean, you know what I'm talking about.

[124] If someone comes up to you and like, they're like nervous and like, oh, my God, it's Joe Rogan.

[125] Right.

[126] And you're like, yeah, I'm just, I'm just me. Right.

[127] I mean, you know the truth.

[128] You're just a guy.

[129] But they're reacting to what they think you are, which is so much more than what you actually, what anyone is, you know.

[130] That's the nature of fame.

[131] It's this bullshit thing that only has the value that people apply to it.

[132] Right, right.

[133] And they're applying more to it than you are because you're you, right?

[134] And you know what it's like behind the curtain.

[135] so but you don't want to disrespect them either right and you don't want to disrespect what it is that they're experiencing in that moment even though it's complete bullshit right right right I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about no no you're making sense because it it's it's very confusing to people that don't know it but it's it's like a magic trick that if it tricks the magician he's a fucking idiot you know what I mean it's like you have a magic look I pull a dove out of my hat you you know there was no fucking dove and the doves in your sleigh believe asshole you're hiding the dove i see what you're doing you know what you're doing but if you say i have this amazing ability to make doves appear out of nowhere and you really believe it well you're a moron you know it's like you have a magic trick in being on television or being you know on the radio or in movies or whatever it is whatever it is that people get attracted to you by your work by your by you being an author whatever it is that thing makes you different than another person Instead of just, like, I appreciate talent, like, very much so.

[136] And I can kind of be, like, star -struck when I meet someone that I really appreciate or that I really am admiring of their work.

[137] But I kind of know what it is.

[138] It's like I've seen it enough times that I'll go, hey, there's that guy that fucking sings that awesome song.

[139] Hey, I love your shit, man. And it's, like, it's a good thing, but it's not, I don't think of them as other than a human being.

[140] But I remember one of the first times ever met a famous person.

[141] or the first times I ever met famous people.

[142] I couldn't believe I was seeing them in real life.

[143] One of the first guys I'd ever met, I was in Harvard Square in Cambridge.

[144] I don't even remember the dude's name, but he had been in a bunch of, like, television dramas.

[145] That's funny.

[146] And I was like, you're that guy from that show.

[147] And he, like, tell me what the show.

[148] He's asking a question.

[149] He, like, wanted to know where the T -stop was, you know, where he could catch public transportation.

[150] So he approached you.

[151] No, he just, he was just, yeah, he asked a question, asked, I don't know if I asked him if he was that guy first or if he asked me, but.

[152] He didn't give a fuck.

[153] He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm that guy from that show.

[154] Do you guys know where this thing is?

[155] And we, you know, told him where it was.

[156] I'm like, whoa, we just saw that guy.

[157] I still did this day.

[158] I don't remember who the fuck he was.

[159] That's funny.

[160] And when I was little, my uncle used to work for Howard Mark's advertising.

[161] My uncle Vinny is an artist, and he worked for the company that drew the album covers for Kiss.

[162] So when I was like, boy, I guess I was like eight or nine years old, maybe.

[163] know how somewhere in that age i met uh ace freely who is the lead guitarist to kiss and he always wore makeup and i met him with no makeup on and uh you know he would come by and like he it was a great hustle they had they wore makeup when they were on stage but then off stage no one knew who the fuck they were yeah so they were huge superstars selling out arenas rock stars but they were just completely incognito other so this guy just walks into the the office and my uncle knew him because they were friends and he's like oh hey what's up how you doing and i was so confused i was like is that is that what he looks like like you because you couldn't even see them like they this was obviously pre -internet but there was no photos of them available without their makeup it was like maybe one photo with like a hand in front of them or something like that where you really couldn't see clearly but to see him in the flesh moving around and walking and talking i was like what the fuck I thought about that for years It's a pretty cool thing because they I mean I don't know anything about Kiss Like if they were in masks From the beginning like with the makeup from Yeah they were playing clubs and stuff Yeah So like were they anticipating like wow If we get famous You know we don't want to be recognized That the Whole Foods Like did they see that shit coming?

[164] They saw Whole Foods coming Trader Joe's it's all out there I don't think so I think there was a style of, I think they used to call it glam rock.

[165] Is that what they used to call it?

[166] With David Bowie and all that.

[167] Yeah, I mean, I think that's what it's called.

[168] But I think it was just a hook.

[169] I think their hook was that they were going to wear face paint, you know, and have these designs in their face.

[170] Like Paul Stanley was the star child, so he had a star over his face, and Gene Simmons was the demon.

[171] He used to spit blood and blow fire on stage.

[172] And they had, you know, Peter Chris was the cat, and then Ace Freely was, you know, he had a, he was like, the spaceman, and they had this persona that they had adopted, like, these characters, and no one knew what they were, and all their names were fake, too, I'm pretty sure.

[173] So, like, who they were when they were on stage, and it was sort of taken even further into Fantasyland by this makeup and these crazy costumes that they wore, like they wore boots, like Gene Simmons' boots had teeth on the bottom of them, like these, it was just all so nutty.

[174] So bringing it back to your buddy, imagine, you know, you know, your kiss and you're trying to pick up a woman in a bar, and you're like, you know, I'm Gene Simmons and get the fuck out of here.

[175] You probably work at Merrill fucking Lynch.

[176] I think they probably had so many girls coming up to them.

[177] They never went to a bar and tried to meet people.

[178] They never went.

[179] Yeah.

[180] I mean, it was probably just trying to think, how many can I fuck in a day?

[181] And how many do I have to say no to?

[182] Yeah.

[183] Because it's just not going to work out.

[184] Well, you've got people to do that for you.

[185] Probably.

[186] Yeah.

[187] They probably had like handlers.

[188] Handlers.

[189] Ranglers.

[190] I heard an interview the other day with, I don't forget his name, but he's one of the main guys of Iron Maiden, which as a band I don't know, but I know they're huge.

[191] Right.

[192] And he's a jet pilot.

[193] And he flew commercial airlines for years.

[194] So he was like, you know, nobody knew it was me up there, you know.

[195] And I'd just be, you know, flying, you know, London to New York or whatever.

[196] Like, this is your pilot.

[197] And we're a return.

[198] And then he'd go, like, play a gig in New York.

[199] So he would fly as a commercial air pilot and then do a gig.

[200] Right.

[201] And then they bought a jet, you know, 747 or something, to fly the band around.

[202] So now he flies the band to gigs.

[203] How fucking strange.

[204] Didn't John Travolta fly commercially for Qantas?

[205] That rings a bell.

[206] Yeah, I know he's an accomplished pilot.

[207] I'm pretty sure he did.

[208] A friend of mine went flying with Tom Cruise.

[209] He's got, like, one of those biplanes, a stunt plane.

[210] Wow.

[211] And it was like loop to loop.

[212] And she said, man, I almost puked on him.

[213] Because she was in front, you know, the pilot's in back.

[214] And she was like, I was this close to Ralph and all over Tom Cruise.

[215] So the pilot goes in back and the passenger is in front.

[216] Right.

[217] How strange.

[218] Yeah.

[219] Those old planes, man, when you, it kind of, when you see what it is, this, like, wire frame with this, like, very thin coating outside of it.

[220] The cables going out to the flaps and stuff.

[221] Yeah.

[222] And they used to have to manipulate the flaps with handles in order to make it go up and down and move the rudder.

[223] Oh, God.

[224] And they fought with those things.

[225] You remember the old King Kong?

[226] King Kong won with King Kong on top of the World Trade Center.

[227] No, it wasn't World Trade Center.

[228] It was an Empire State Building back now.

[229] King Kong lied about that.

[230] I'm fucking liar.

[231] He's climbing up the Empire State Building and they're shooting at him with those planes, those old rickety.

[232] World War I It's pre -World War II Because King Kong, I believe, was the 30s The original King Kong I want to say like 33 or something like that It was a talkie, right?

[233] Yeah, yeah, it was a talkie.

[234] Early talkies.

[235] We went over that yesterday That the first movies Were actually 1800s for silent movies It's late 1800s.

[236] With the horses, the first one To show that the horses, all the horse's feet came off the ground at once?

[237] No. You know that story?

[238] Yeah.

[239] I think that was the first motion picture, a French guy.

[240] Yeah, there was a bet.

[241] It's a long time since I may be full of shit here, but I'm sure people are Googling it even as we speak.

[242] But I think it was the first motion picture was that they were trying to determine whether all of a horse's feet came off the ground at once.

[243] So he set up, I don't know if it was like a bunch of cameras in a bank that sequentially shot.

[244] Well, they have a video of it, 1889.

[245] There you go.

[246] Yeah, in the second frame, you can see all the horses' feet are off the ground.

[247] What was the first movie ever made?

[248] The first movie, Thomas Edison in 1889.

[249] Oh, really?

[250] Thomas Edison.

[251] Yeah, that's what this is saying.

[252] It's too bad he was such a prick.

[253] Apparently he was, right?

[254] He stole Tesla's ideas.

[255] Yeah.

[256] It's hard to tell, though.

[257] That could be like one big he -said, she -said thing, but obviously Tesla was a super genius, and Edison electrocuted a fucking elephant.

[258] For fun, to show.

[259] To scare people even.

[260] Yeah, against D .C. Which is hilarious.

[261] Yeah.

[262] Well, against ACDC, against alternating current.

[263] Like, D .C. was what was the standard.

[264] Right.

[265] And ACDC alternating current was what Tesla had invented so that you could plug in all sorts of different devices that need less power.

[266] Oh.

[267] But that Edison already had a business thing going on.

[268] Yes.

[269] and didn't want, and even though Tesla's idea was better, right?

[270] Yes, more efficient, yeah.

[271] Well, Tesla was a weird, weird, weird guy, man. But you kind of have to be to be that fucking smart and figure out that many different things.

[272] So that brings us back a little bit to what we're talking about before with the, you know, the persona.

[273] I've got this idea that most of the people who rise to positions of prominence in Western society are, troubled in some way so like you're talking about geniuses like you have to be a genius is a certain kind of distortion right I think Einstein said that a smart man controls his mind a genius is controlled by it right so you're there's an obsessive quality to it right and I wonder if you know the extent to which our you know this this is this old book that I'm writing It seems that if you say the underlying structure of civilization is essentially pathological, then it makes sense that the leaders, the people who rise to prominent positions within that society, will predominantly be pathological.

[274] Is that necessarily true?

[275] Like, is Zuckerberg, like a guy who creates something like Facebook?

[276] Is that guy pathological?

[277] Well, you know, I would look at him and say, I don't know, the guy, of course.

[278] I saw the movie.

[279] That's as close as I got to him.

[280] But does he seem like a balanced, healthy character?

[281] To me, you know, it seems like a lot of what's created is created by sexually frustrated adolescent men or boys.

[282] And he would probably fit into that area.

[283] I mean, wasn't the whole thing like a dating, a way to meet chicks at Harvard?

[284] Wasn't that the origins of it?

[285] I think it was a dating thing.

[286] I don't really know.

[287] I don't remember.

[288] It was in the movie.

[289] Makes sense, though.

[290] So, anyway, I mean, Freud talked about this in civilization.

[291] It's discontents that, you know, civilization is built on deflected sexual energy.

[292] And if we were all just getting laid as much as we wanted, nobody would do anything.

[293] That's a good point.

[294] And also, if you really concentrate on what is healthy, in quotes, what's healthy is friendship and fun, none of those really stack up points, you know, as far.

[295] as like monetary, you know, what you can put in your bank account, what you can show as far as like your real estate holdings and, you know, all the, look at my fancy stuff, you know, like that's really what people look to when they look for the gauge of success.

[296] The gauge of success is almost always attached to money.

[297] Right.

[298] And that's it.

[299] And if you get to the point where you see through money or fame or power these metrics that are socially accepted, then you become, you know, what, the Jesus figure, the Buddha, you know, you sort of check out to an in, turn on, drop out, right?

[300] Yeah, and then you're a loser.

[301] You're a loser, exactly, and you're not influencing the direction of society, yeah.

[302] Yeah, it's weird, like, it's weird about our ideas, like knowing the temporary nature of life, it's weird that our idea of success is based almost entirely on the possession of things.

[303] Yeah.

[304] And that, of course, feeds into the powers they'd be, right?

[305] The consumerist change the change nature into plastic, you know, which seems to be what we're about.

[306] I have a weird theory about this that I've repeated before.

[307] So in interest of saving the attention span of the people that listen, I think that the reason why people are hooked on materialism and the reason why it's so attractive is because ultimately what it's doing is propelling technology and innovation.

[308] And that the more we become obsessed with acquiring the newest, latest, greatest things, the more it will push innovation, these newest, latest, greatest things.

[309] And the reason for that is we're ultimately creating an artificial life.

[310] And I think that we are the technological caterpillar that becomes some artificial intelligent butterfly.

[311] And that what we're doing is creating a new life form.

[312] We just, we're so, we're so arrogant that we think that we are the only life.

[313] And this is the only life that's possible.

[314] But meanwhile, what we're doing is we have been born into these inefficient, these biological entities, these shells that house our imagination and that we eventually will escape them or create something that makes us obsolete, more likely the latter.

[315] Yeah, I'm grappling with these very issues right now at the end of this book.

[316] Are you?

[317] Yeah.

[318] Have you ever read Kevin Kemp?

[319] Kelly or heard of him.

[320] No. He's a very deep thinker in artificial intelligence and the internet and all that kind of stuff.

[321] Very interesting guy and systems, like how systems self -organize.

[322] And like, you know, like they take high -speed film of flocks of birds and they see that the individual birds are reacting to other birds.

[323] the flock is reacting quicker than individual birds can react.

[324] There's what they call phase change where you shift from a group of birds to a flock of birds or a bunch of fish to a school of fish where everything starts functioning very differently, right?

[325] And like, for example, did you know that locusts and grasshoppers are the same animal?

[326] Yeah, it did.

[327] Completely crazy.

[328] Yeah, it's just a matter of the swarm of them.

[329] Well, yeah, when it rains, and so then there's a lot of food, they replicate, you know, they reproduce really quickly.

[330] So now you've got the population density, and then the food starts to dissipate because the water is going, and now they get very tight population density, and they become locusts, which their brains change, their legs change, the coloring changes, their behavior changes, and they start swarming.

[331] So with less food they swarm?

[332] Yeah, well, the food is restricted.

[333] so they get into, you know, like oasis or something.

[334] So they get into smaller areas because the water from the rain.

[335] First it rains, so you get lots of them, then the water starts to disappear, right?

[336] It evaporates over a few days or whatever, and the food is less and less.

[337] So they're concentrated.

[338] And it's when they're packed tightly that they shift into locust.

[339] And that's when they swarm and they go out and, you know, and wipe out anything they can find.

[340] Wow.

[341] But then they can shift back.

[342] to grasshoppers again.

[343] So I'm sort of arguing in this book that civilization is when our species shifted to locust, a phase shift into a locus form, and we swarmed, and we've been swarming ever since, but we're about to run out of material and, you know, like the fish stocks are down, the water's gone, like everything's, we're in the age of no more, you know?

[344] It's hard to argue.

[345] You know, I was watching this documentary the other day about the 1970s, when they were talking about the 1970s, there was a hundred million less people in America.

[346] In America.

[347] In America.

[348] And like the world population was...

[349] Billions less.

[350] But that's stunning.

[351] A hundred million...

[352] I mean, think about if a hundred million people died today in America.

[353] It would be a fucking enormous tragedy of epic proportion.

[354] But that was just the numbers a few decades ago.

[355] Four decades ago, whatever it was, you know?

[356] Whatever, you know, pick a number.

[357] Yeah.

[358] That's fucking crazy.

[359] That's crazy.

[360] The 100 million people is a lot to gather inside of 50 years.

[361] That's really remarkable.

[362] Yeah, and we're still talking as if growth is the natural and, you know, it's the only way to be, right?

[363] We need growth.

[364] We need growth.

[365] They're worried that reproduction levels are below zero in Japan and Spain and some other countries.

[366] Why are we worried?

[367] That's great.

[368] I mean, short term, it's a problem.

[369] because you don't have enough young people to work and pay for the old people, whatever.

[370] But long term, imagine how great the fucking earth would be if there were one billion people on earth.

[371] You know, that was something that came to McKenna in a mushroom trip.

[372] He asked the mushroom how to save the human race, and they said every couple reproduce only with one child, and the human race would be saved.

[373] That's it.

[374] It's all we'd have to do.

[375] It's significantly lower population, And, you know, with mortality and accidents and natural causes and all the other jazz.

[376] Take control.

[377] Actually, this is going to be historic.

[378] I am a little – I'm at the end of the book, right, where the publisher requires a prescriptive, like, what's next?

[379] You know, what do we do with all this kind of chapter, which I hate doing, but I'm doing it.

[380] So you have to, like, have a solution?

[381] Takeaway.

[382] Their phrase that they love is, what's the takeaway, right?

[383] Takeaway.

[384] Got to have a takeaway.

[385] That's of a final act, Mr. Ryan.

[386] Yeah, the gun's been on the mantelpiece through the whole play.

[387] Somebody's got to get shot.

[388] You can't end the movie like no country for old men.

[389] Right.

[390] You just can't just, the guy just wanders off and like, what the fuck?

[391] Where's the resolution?

[392] But, you know, I've been reading Kevin Kelly, reading other stuff, and I've come around.

[393] You and Duncan and I have always had this sort of three -way debate about the future humanity and all that.

[394] And I see three scenarios, one of which is the one you just outlined, where we are a transitional life form that gives birth to techno intelligence and spreads out into the universe and whatever.

[395] And another is sort of apocalyptic collapse and madman, not madman, Mad Max.

[396] Madman.

[397] They'll become advertising executives in the 60s.

[398] thin lapels, a lot of smoking.

[399] And, but the other one, which I'm actually, you know, if I were a betting man, I probably wouldn't put my money on this, but I'm, I'm encouraged to think about it.

[400] I read a book recently called Future Perfect.

[401] I don't remember the author.

[402] Stephen Johnson is the author, another internet tech web guy, right?

[403] And he makes a really strong case, which I've heard you make.

[404] you've made it to me actually that the internet is first of all it's very very early days for the internet and it opens up revolutionary possibilities like beyond anything that's happened to our species in the past the fact that you and i right now are talking to hundreds of thousands of people with no sponsor telling us don't say that don't say this that i can you know we can talk shit about montanto we can talk shit about the U .S. government.

[405] We can do whatever we want.

[406] That is really revolutionary.

[407] And the effects of that are impossible for us to really predict.

[408] And it's international, right?

[409] It doesn't respect national borders.

[410] Anyone, anywhere, it's archived.

[411] You know, it functions vertically and horizontally.

[412] That's really something.

[413] And one of the examples he uses in his book is Kickstarter.

[414] In two years after they launched.

[415] Kickstarter was already spending more supporting artists than the National Endowment for the Arts.

[416] Wow.

[417] In two years.

[418] And now it's like three times that.

[419] That's amazing, right?

[420] Who would have thought that there were so many people who were like, I'll give 20 bucks to that guy.

[421] I'll support that.

[422] And, you know, just with this technology, you're able to do stuff.

[423] I was reading about this tribe in the Amazon the other day who are basically have taken over, defense of their land because the government's useless and so they've got legally they're completely justified but the loggers keep coming in and you know invading and so they've set up like gps units all around and and motion controlled cameras and uh they're using technology to try to defend their land and document incursions and stuff and i was thinking like wouldn't it be cool to set up a crowdfunded thing where you could send 20 bucks to this tribe in the amazon on to help them buy a fucking motion detected camera or a drone.

[424] Why not, right?

[425] Like, you know about Kiva?

[426] No. Kiva is microloans.

[427] And it's just a website like Kickstarter where you go in Kiva, you put $100 in.

[428] And you, they've got all these people who have applied for loans.

[429] You pick a country, El Salvador.

[430] Okay, you go through, you look at all their pictures and like, okay, I need $150 bucks to buy a goat because I make goat yogurt and stuff.

[431] sell it in the village.

[432] Okay, you give her 25 bucks.

[433] She pays it back.

[434] Their repayment rate is over 99 percent because they've got people in country who verify that everything's cool and this is a real thing and whatever.

[435] So then the money gets paid back to your account after they get their goat and they sell enough yogurt.

[436] And then you can either take your money out or you can recycle it and like go to Uganda and let's find somebody in Uganda.

[437] We can help them put a new roof on the shop, right?

[438] Wow.

[439] And it's completely you to them, and the company just, you know, is the, it's like Tinder or anything else.

[440] It's just a way to connect.

[441] Really cool, you know, and it's your money.

[442] And if you don't want to do it anymore, you take your money and you're out.

[443] Yeah, these, like, sort of non -capitalistic ideas are one of the most beautiful things about the Internet.

[444] Like these sort of organically created ideas, like Kickstarter, crowdfunding.

[445] Couch surfing, you know, like all the sharing economy.

[446] He calls it his term as pure progressives.

[447] And so then, like, what's going to happen if, you know, we can get the oligarchs out of the way and make Internet direct voting?

[448] That's the ultimate future, right?

[449] Internet direct voting where it's no longer electoral college.

[450] We don't look at things in terms of states, but we look at terms of the mass of the race or the mass of the human organizing.

[451] how to what benefit that's it yeah the problem is there's been people that have been candy fed they've been baby fed for so long that it's almost like they're it's like taking a person who's been in solitary confinement locked up like a veal and then forcing them to run an ultra marathon it's like you're just right you're not prepared for this you're not conditioned for it you don't have the resources to pull off uh an informed version of the future you know Yeah, but, you know, and again, it's really weird that I'm arguing the hopeful side here, but, hey, what the fuck?

[452] We said this is going to be a bullshit podcast, right?

[453] You're lying.

[454] We're fucked.

[455] I don't believe any of this.

[456] The one thing I would say about human nature, because I get asked a lot, what's human nature, you know?

[457] I think the strongest thing I can say about human nature is humans want to do what everyone else is doing.

[458] That's what we're really good at.

[459] We're not good at thinking it through, but like, oh, everyone else is killing Jews.

[460] Well, I guess I'll kill some Jews then, you know?

[461] Like, everyone else hates black people, and I hate black people.

[462] Gay marriage is cool.

[463] Okay, gay marriage is cool.

[464] Like, look how fast that change.

[465] Yeah, I was going to bring that up when you were talking about the birds, like the birds moving in a flock in a way where they're moving in such harmony that they couldn't possibly be reacting to each other.

[466] Right.

[467] Is that what happens with mob mentality?

[468] I guess so.

[469] Yeah, and I think, you know, in humans, it's mob mentality, it's fan, like that hysteria.

[470] Like, Beatles.

[471] The Beatles, that's what I was thinking.

[472] Yeah, like just insanity, right?

[473] Yeah, I mean, there is, you know, greater than the sum of its parts, right?

[474] That phenomenon.

[475] Like, there's no, you know, I mean, geese are a different thing, but most flocks of birds, you know, the starlings you see doing that thing at night.

[476] There's no leader, right?

[477] There's nobody saying, hey, let's go to the left now.

[478] There's no choreography.

[479] It mimics in fish as well, right?

[480] Sure.

[481] Fish in swarms of locust.

[482] And in fact, in one of these books by Kevin Kelly, he talks about how they were doing the artificial, the guys who did the Batman, one of the Batman movies, and they were doing the special effects.

[483] And I guess they were bats.

[484] There were flocks of bats that they needed to replicate on screen.

[485] And they just set up a lot.

[486] logarithm where each bat would react to the other bats near it in certain according to certain variables calculations and then they just set it loose and it formed a flock so it's like it doesn't even have to be alive it just has to have certain uh consistent responses wow yeah so what the fuck are we talking about well we're talking about human beings that we're moving in a mob mentality.

[487] Do you think that we're a, I think, I think the evidence is that we're a superorganism more than we're in an individual.

[488] Yeah.

[489] Well, see, what I did in the book, and, you know, I hope this is making people want to read it when it comes out, not like, yeah, I already heard all this shit.

[490] But, you know, what I did was I started by saying your individuality is itself an illusion.

[491] Right.

[492] Because 90 % of your weight, once you get the water out, is made of, no, no, not your weight.

[493] 90 % of your DNA, of the DNA that constitutes your body is not your DNA.

[494] It's the DNA of microorganisms that live on and in you, right?

[495] Right.

[496] So I got into the whole intestinal fauna and, you know, and all that.

[497] Yeah, and it's, so you couldn't exist without that.

[498] So each of us is a community, right?

[499] Yeah.

[500] So, and then you go to the higher level, and it's just the same thing, you know, each of us constitutes an organism as well.

[501] We're part of this thing that we can't really see because, you know, we're part of it.

[502] It's hard to, it's like fish don't think about water, you know?

[503] Right.

[504] And it's not considered because we always like to think of ourselves as individuals, but the evidence is there that we get insanely lonely when we're by ourselves.

[505] Oh, yeah.

[506] I mean, we don't...

[507] Solitary confinement.

[508] It's the worst thing you can do to someone in jail.

[509] I mean, it's really crazy.

[510] And if you think about human beings, like being isolated and being lonely, and then the incredible joy that they have when they find civilization or people, like someone alone on a raft, they're not thinking about, well, I'm alive, at least.

[511] Let me just think about my life.

[512] No, they're like, fuck, I've got to find people.

[513] I have to find people.

[514] Like, even if you have all the food in the world, if you're floating around on a boat lost at sea, you're incredible.

[515] incredibly sad.

[516] Like, we have this insane, intense need for each other to be a united, bonded with each other.

[517] And if we're not, we're, we're fucked.

[518] Yeah.

[519] We're like, we're some strange sort of superorganism.

[520] I made a video when I had my 2005 showtime special, and I did this video about flying over the earth.

[521] And then if you fly into Los Angeles, and if you look at the earth as a host for life.

[522] And, you know, our bodies, you could certainly say that our bodies are a host for life because of all the organisms that we just talked about, the fact there's more E. coli in your body than there are people that have ever lived ever.

[523] I mean, it's amazing.

[524] And all that stuff is important for life.

[525] But when you fly in Los Angeles and you're flying over that just gigantic mass of cities, like if the earth is an organism, well, what are people?

[526] It looks like a growth.

[527] Like Los Angeles looks like a growth.

[528] It looks like a growth on the superorganism, like mold on a sandwich.

[529] And if you saw a mold on a sandwich, you don't think of individual pieces of mold with individual identities and personalities.

[530] You just see mold.

[531] Yeah.

[532] And I think the same thing could be said about human beings, that we're just so close to it, we can't see the forest for the trees, that we don't see ourselves objectively.

[533] We don't go, oh, we're one thing.

[534] We're one big thing that's making technology.

[535] I mean, that's essentially what we are.

[536] One big thing is willing to sacrifice the very fucking air, the very air that we need to stay alive.

[537] We're willing to blacken that shit up in order to produce industrial goods.

[538] Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.

[539] I hope that's not the way it's going, but it feels that way.

[540] That's the trajectory we're on at the moment.

[541] What I'm hoping is that the Internet I mean, I look at the gay marriage thing and a lot of the stuff is ugly that happens on the Internet, but the idea that there is, for the first time ever, the potential for an species mind, you know, a species level mind, what's the first thing any conscious mind becomes aware of?

[542] Its own mortality.

[543] So maybe, maybe what's happening is as these synapses are connected for the first time ever, and there's this super mind for a super organism, it becomes aware of what it's doing, and suddenly it's like, fuck, stop this.

[544] This is crazy.

[545] This is crazy.

[546] We're killing ourselves.

[547] If we can understand that at a species level, then we can change it, right?

[548] I mean, the passive technology is there.

[549] We all know how to, you know, anal sex is better, you know, let's make anal sex the way to, you know, no more reproduction just let's all go i'm not going to talk about i just went out of a fucking crazy tangent well but no i know what you're i know what you're saying you i i i think the idea non -reproductive sex yes yes sodomy is where it's at sodomy's where it's at be a good t -shirt it's a lot there's a lot of protein income too you know don't necessarily have to eat chickens by the way you were i saw your ronda rousey uh interview yeah and and you you were really funny you said Like, what is it with lipstick?

[550] You know, it's like, right here, this is where the dick goes.

[551] Right.

[552] And I was thinking, you know, that is why and how lipstick was invented.

[553] Yeah.

[554] Egyptian hookers.

[555] You know that?

[556] It was hookers?

[557] Yeah, it was Egyptian hookers to advertise that they specialized in blowjobs.

[558] Wow.

[559] So if you saw a hooker with a red lips, it's like, she's the blowjob specialist.

[560] Wow.

[561] How do we know that?

[562] Was that written somewhere?

[563] Probably.

[564] Cyroglyphics?

[565] You know, I trust that I read it in the history of sex by somebody or other.

[566] We lost so much of what Egypt was all about when they burned the library of Alexandria.

[567] Huge loss.

[568] It's incredible because if you see what they were able to accomplish, so much of what archaeologists and historians do when they go back and they look at what Egypt, what they were accomplished, just like trying to figure out why and how the fuck all this stuff was done.

[569] I mean, all they have is what's left on the walls.

[570] It's so crazy.

[571] all they have literally they have the rosetta stone and they have the hieroglyphs and they have the architecture and then they have to try to like back engineer and decipher to this day there's like a dozen different theories about how they built the pyramids they just really just guesswork and it's not aliens i thought it was aliens i don't think that's true i don't either i think it's much more likely the advanced civilization rise and decline is much more likely and as um as we're more about geologic catastrophes as we're learning more about asteroids and things along those lines it's way more likely that what you're looking at when you're looking at a lot of the ancient structures that exist that we can't totally explain was that something happened that like civilization had reached a very high level and then probably were hit by giant rocks from space and very few people survived but the people that did survive sort of re -figured out all the things over a course of a few thousand years just like we have I mean you go back a thousand years ago okay let's just go a thousand years ago go back to 1 ,015 people were apes I mean you're talking about like Genghis Khan they're riding horses no one's got a car they're shooting arrows at each other no one's got guns I mean this you're talking about craziness you're talking about a crazy part of the world they have catapults and shit that was what the world was just a thousand years ago.

[572] So in a thousand years, we've gone from Genghis Khan to Elon Musk making Tesla's.

[573] That's great.

[574] Genghis Khan to Elon Musk.

[575] A thousand years.

[576] That works.

[577] Essentially a thousand years.

[578] So imagine what we're talking about when the, like I've had Randall Carlson on my podcast who is a fascinating guy who is absolutely obsessed with asteroidal impacts and he studied them his entire life.

[579] And as time has gone on, more and more of his work has been vindicated.

[580] especially by core samples.

[581] He believes that there is enough proof that the Ice Age ended because of Asteroil Impacts.

[582] And he had thought this way before they had figured out.

[583] The stuff called, I think it's called Tritonite.

[584] They found evidence of what they call nuclear glass all throughout Europe and Asia, and it all is around 12 ,000 years ago.

[585] It's all around the same time the Ice Age ended.

[586] And he thinks it was the catalyst for the end of the Ice Age and probably wiped out a gigantic chunk of humanity, that there was just massive asteroidal impacts all over the planet and that it just fucking killed almost everybody or a huge percentage.

[587] And everybody who's left sort of had to re -figure out how to make buildings, refigure out how to engineer society, and then they were left with the skeletons, the architectural skeletons of the past.

[588] You know, they would look at Stonehenge or look at, you know, go Beckley -Tepi or any of these giant ancient structures and go, okay, what the fuck was, what's this all about?

[589] Who did this?

[590] How'd they do this?

[591] And they would try to mimic it or create their own.

[592] And that what you're looking at, when you look at many of these ancient structures, is just whatever would be left when a giant chunk of civilization is wiped down, people have to start all over again.

[593] Yeah.

[594] You ever read a book called The World Without Us?

[595] I've heard of it.

[596] I didn't read it.

[597] It's a good book.

[598] It's basically taking that same thought pattern and applying it to now.

[599] So what would happen if people all disappeared right now?

[600] And so he talked to engineers in New York, for example, like, so what would happen?

[601] Like right now, nobody, there are no people.

[602] What would happen?

[603] Well, the pumps would stop.

[604] And there are all these pumps that keep water out of the substructure of Manhattan, right?

[605] So then that fills up with water.

[606] Okay, then how long does it take for the anchors and the skyscrapers to rust away and, you know, corrode?

[607] So the skyscrapers start falling.

[608] And so he figures all that out.

[609] Like, one animals would go feral and survive versus dogs are fucked.

[610] All dogs would be eaten, like, immediately.

[611] Cats would survive, though.

[612] Really?

[613] Oh, yeah.

[614] What about feral dogs?

[615] Like, there's populations of feral dogs that exist even in America today.

[616] Yeah.

[617] They killed some old couple.

[618] I guess they'd be eaten by coyotes.

[619] That makes sense.

[620] Better predators.

[621] Yeah, right.

[622] Yeah, more adapted.

[623] Pros.

[624] The amateurs don't last.

[625] Yeah.

[626] I met a guy in Colorado.

[627] that is a professional mountain line hunter.

[628] And they get hired oftentimes, like whether or not you knew it, California employs professional mountain line killers because they don't have a hunting season on mountain lines in Colorado, or in California, rather.

[629] In Colorado, they do.

[630] And so the wildlife organization, they measure the population, they calculate it, and they decide how many would be viable.

[631] to take, to keep the community of them healthy, but to protect the elk population and the deer population.

[632] And so then they adjust accordingly, and they release tags, and tags are what the hunters use to go out and legally kill these animals.

[633] Well, California doesn't have that.

[634] So in California, they have, I think he said, three different guys that kill an indeterminate amount of mountain lines, any trouble mountain lines that they have all throughout California.

[635] They just travel around and kill these fucking things.

[636] because if you don't, then they overpopulate and then they become a problem with dogs and people and joggers and shit like that.

[637] But there's groups in California in particular, like extreme wildlife advocates that want that.

[638] They want no more hunting.

[639] What they want to do is reintroduce wolves and grizzly bears to California so that those animals control all the game populations to a sufficient level, which is really like it's not very well thought out because then no one controls their population except assassins they have to hire assassins to go out and kill the grizzly bears that start encroaching into civilization and the wolves and start moving in on people's livestock they have to hire people to kill them but it's this fascinating idea of animal management that these people are like juggling back and forth with the people that are pro -hunting and then the people that are the conservationists or the wildlife advocates.

[640] It's really fascinating stuff.

[641] Yeah, you remind me of something I just read recently about the cobra effect, it's called.

[642] It refers to the unintended consequences of trying to control wild animals.

[643] And it started when the British were in India, in New Delhi, the local authorities decided to deal with the fact that there were all these cobras living in the sewers and, you know, causing a big problem.

[644] so they instituted a price for each dead cobra that you would bring in.

[645] They'd pay you a bounty, right?

[646] So that worked really well.

[647] They were getting rid of a lot of cobras.

[648] Then people started breeding them to make money.

[649] Exactly.

[650] So suddenly there are all these covers coming in, and they realize they're being played.

[651] So then they're like, fuck that.

[652] And they stop paying the bounty.

[653] So now the breeders have thousands of cobras, you know, and so they just let them loose.

[654] Oh, Jesus.

[655] So you end up with a much bigger problem than you thought you were solving.

[656] Well, Australia's done that, too.

[657] Australia had a problem with, Australia didn't really have large mammals, or rather New Zealand didn't really have large mammals.

[658] But Australia introduced certain predators to try to deal with introduced animals, like rabbits.

[659] Right.

[660] Like they introduced rabbits to Australia, but they didn't have natural predators.

[661] So they brought over foxes.

[662] And then the foxes ate a shitload of rabbits and then got out of control and started eating ground nesting birds and decimating the population of ground nesting.

[663] I mean, you can't tell, you can't engineer a fox to only eat rabbits.

[664] But they never did get a hold of the rabbit population.

[665] They put up fences to try to stop the rabbits from moving into new areas, but they weren't quick enough.

[666] And the rabbits got through the fences.

[667] As they were building the fences, the rabbits fucked their way through to the other side of the fences and just fucked and made more and more rabbits.

[668] So then they wanted to introduce the foxes over there.

[669] Then they wanted to bring in predators to kill off the foxes.

[670] Like it's a cluster fuck of human beings.

[671] trying to somehow or another managed nature.

[672] And every time it gets away.

[673] Yeah, through predators, especially things like a rabbit that can just breed like crazy.

[674] Yeah.

[675] In an environment where they, you know, they really didn't have a natural enemy.

[676] There's a great documentary called cane toads about the same thing in Australia where there is some grub that was eating, they're destroying sugar cane.

[677] And in Hawaii, they're able to grow sugar.

[678] And the grub is under control because they have these big toads.

[679] that eat the grub so they brought the cane toads to Australia and introduced them and these toads are like that big they're they're I mean they're like the size of a 16 ounce steak you know they're massive that's crazy what a fucking that's a frog and they're everywhere and they've just like gone crazy and the movie is really funny because it's like these people and their encounters with these cane toads and they're Australian so they're just naturally funny can you eat them no no but they do have buffettina if you lick them you can get really high but if your dog bites one you'll kill your dog and wow yeah they're so yeah yeah it's i don't know man it makes you think like you know the whole superorganism idea is one of those oh there you go look at that thing it's bigger than a steak Jesus fucking Christ that is so big it's so big it does it looks like like a a large bass The movie is so funny.

[680] It opens.

[681] There's a scene.

[682] It's like early morning, and the fog is sort of, it's a foggy hillside, and there's a road.

[683] And you see this van coming down the road, and it's sort of swerving.

[684] It really is swerving around.

[685] And gradually you realize that he's running over as many cantoes as he can, and they're all over the road.

[686] And he's like, he's hitting these cantoes.

[687] And he talks about how if you hit it just right where, like, where it's facing the van, and you seal its mouth, it pops, and there's this big explosion.

[688] Jesus, Christ.

[689] Yeah, yeah.

[690] You have so many of them that they just run over them in the road?

[691] They're everywhere, man. And it's the same thing as you were talking about.

[692] They don't eat the grubs.

[693] They eat everything else.

[694] They eat mice.

[695] They eat rats.

[696] They eat all sorts of shit.

[697] And they have no natural predators.

[698] And they're poisonous.

[699] And they're poisonous.

[700] Fuck.

[701] That's out of control.

[702] What's the proposal to try to manage that?

[703] I don't know what they're doing now.

[704] I saw this movie like 20 years ago at the Margaret Mead Film Festival in New York, and I've lost track of the cane -toed issue since then, I'm sure.

[705] Do you know what happens with rabbits that every seven years rabbits have a die -off?

[706] Oh, really?

[707] Yeah, rabbits apparently all like farmers and ranchers would tell you, they go in these great cycles, these seven -year cycles.

[708] And right now, the population in a lot of areas is very high.

[709] Where I was in Colorado, this is where the guy was explaining to me. You were just there like two days ago or something.

[710] Yeah, and the guy who I was with, he explained it to me, but I had heard it from a few people before that their populations get extremely high, and then a disease comes along and wipes them out.

[711] And it's clockwork.

[712] It happens every seven years.

[713] And then you find very few rabbits.

[714] And then seven years later, it'll be a swarm again.

[715] It just takes a few years for them to rebuild back up, and then they're back, and then the same thing happens again.

[716] A new disease kicks along, maybe the same disease, I don't know.

[717] but the cycle of die -offs, of great population growth and die -offs.

[718] And this guy was arguing that I was hanging out with in Colorado.

[719] He was saying, you know, it's quite likely that what we're looking at is a natural cycle and that it could be applied to the human race as well.

[720] Yeah, there's a beautiful book, which I've recommended many times called A Short History of Progress by Ronald Wright, Canadian scientist.

[721] And he looks at every civilization that's existed.

[722] you know, the Mayans, the Sumerians, the Romans, the Easter Island, all these different civilizations.

[723] And he shows that they all follow the same life cycle.

[724] That's exactly what you're saying, that there's an organic rise, and then there are certain conditions that happen just naturally.

[725] One follows the next, and then the decline.

[726] And, you know, you see it happen again and again and again.

[727] Yeah, it's like the tide, you know, it's in and it's house.

[728] Right.

[729] It seems to be like a cycle that exists just in almost everything in nature, that there's some sort of a balancing factor that occurs with any system where you get an accumulation of one particular species or one particular thing and then it dies off and then it comes back.

[730] Yeah.

[731] I mean, it could be argued that that's what the asteroidal impact is, that it's some sort of an inoculation from space.

[732] Well, and also life apparently came from asteroids.

[733] Yes, right?

[734] Yeah, panspermia.

[735] Yeah, exactly.

[736] That's the theory that even the building blocks of life, like simple life, like the amino acids.

[737] Right.

[738] That all those things came by stars.

[739] And then when you find out that a human being really essentially is made out of star dust, in order to have carbon -based life forms, you have to have a star explode.

[740] You're going to start singing hippie songs here?

[741] No, it's too crazy, man. I can't do it.

[742] We are star dust.

[743] What is that song?

[744] That's fucking shit.

[745] Johnny Mitchell.

[746] Yeah, there's a bunch of them.

[747] Yeah.

[748] Yeah.

[749] By the way, while we're talking about the cycles of life, we're got to get away, back to the garden.

[750] Yeah, Crosby stills.

[751] Yes, yes, yes.

[752] What was the name of that song?

[753] Woodstock?

[754] Yeah, Woodstock, yeah.

[755] By the time we got to Woodstock.

[756] We are start us, we are golden, we are a billion -year -old carbon, and we got to get our way back to the garden.

[757] That's a beautiful song.

[758] It was.

[759] They were hippies.

[760] I love their son.

[761] On acid, dirty feet.

[762] Love the one you're with.

[763] Yeah, that's a good one.

[764] You like that.

[765] That's the theme song, The Sex at Dawn, yeah.

[766] It should, like, you should get a CD with the book or something.

[767] It's funny.

[768] I've met quite a few girls who've read your book.

[769] And when they do read your book, there's one of two reactions.

[770] One reaction is, fuck that guy.

[771] And the other reaction is, it's time to be a ho.

[772] It's time to just go out and get your freak on.

[773] I was talking to this comic a couple weeks ago, and she was saying, if you ever read this book, It's called Sex at Dawn.

[774] I go, yeah.

[775] I go, the author's a good friend of mine.

[776] And she goes, fucking so right.

[777] It's so right.

[778] And I'm, you're like, oh, there's a freak.

[779] She's a freak.

[780] Like, finally, somebody gave her a freak license.

[781] Exactly.

[782] Somebody came along with a Ph .D. Next to his name and said, it's okay.

[783] It's okay.

[784] Do what you do.

[785] It's all right.

[786] Oh, man, I've gotten so many beautiful emails from women.

[787] You know, I've gotten some angry ones, too, but some really beautiful ones.

[788] from women who say you know like and even some of the most moving ones are the ones where they say like I get my mom now you know that's what really touches me you know like I get it all right she wasn't bad yeah she just liked to fuck you know and funny and in those days that was a big problem you know it's what a weird thing that we have such a conflicted relationship with on one hand we sell everything with sex we use it to sell cars and fucking houses and everything is so much so that a normal look for a woman, normal in a business environment, is exposed legs.

[789] Just think about, what kind of a business environment would it be if men walked around with thongs?

[790] It wouldn't exist.

[791] I mean, it would be, what the fuck are you doing?

[792] If men had like little short skirts that they wore to work where your cock was just, you could just lift up the shirt, the skirt, and your cock would be right there.

[793] That's not acceptable But women are so desirable And sex is so desirable That we have accepted this idea That a woman's attire Could be like the easiest possible thing to fuck in Like literally panties That you just pull to the side And a skirt you just lift up Easy access And it's on Fox News And high heels which flips your You know rear entry You know And a bra What's a bra?

[794] You know I mean a bra is about like, here it is, it's a tit shelf.

[795] Yeah, a tit shelf.

[796] That's exactly what it's, yeah.

[797] This is letting everybody know it's right here, come and get it.

[798] And yet, on the other side, you know, and none of this is to say that women should buy into this if they don't want to or that, you know, objectifying.

[799] I mean, objectifying is a complicated thing.

[800] I think we all objectify constantly.

[801] Right.

[802] But, you know, like this guy, there's a big controversy a week or so ago.

[803] So some guy, a woman sent a lawyer in England, tried to contact a senior lawyer in this firm through LinkedIn to get a job.

[804] And he wrote back and said, well, we don't have a job right now, but I'll tell you, your photo is stunning.

[805] And I'm sure you'll have lots of success.

[806] So then she calls him out for sexual exploitation because he said her photo was stunning.

[807] That was it.

[808] That's just a compliment.

[809] Yeah.

[810] Is that all he said?

[811] He didn't like make any sexual advances.

[812] Not like, let's have dinner, nothing.

[813] Just like your photo is saying.

[814] So it became this big deal.

[815] And the guy, like, you know, half the people are saying the guy's a creep, you know.

[816] And I'll tell you, creep shaming is an interesting thing.

[817] You know?

[818] Like, if you're over 50, you should never.

[819] You shouldn't be sexual.

[820] You shouldn't be sexual.

[821] It's over.

[822] What do you like a 30 -year -old girl?

[823] You piece of shit.

[824] Right.

[825] You're a pedophile.

[826] Oh, you creep.

[827] She's 22.

[828] Yeah.

[829] Why would you be attracted to her?

[830] She's a baby.

[831] You Woody Allen.

[832] You disgust me. You disgust me with your sexual desires.

[833] You're fucking C -A -Lis -induced hard -on.

[834] Fuck you.

[835] Speaking of standing up for people, I really appreciated the article you wrote recently.

[836] It was men's men's life or I don't know what it's about home.

[837] Maxim.

[838] Maxim.

[839] That was really nicely done, man. Thanks, man. As a guy who's not in great shape, I appreciated that.

[840] Yeah, the concept, well, they wanted me to write something about the human body, about getting in shape or whatever.

[841] And it just occurred to me to make the comparison to a human body in sandcastles.

[842] Your body is like a sandcastle that the reason why sandcastles are kind of cool is because you know that they're not going to last.

[843] Yeah, it was really well done.

[844] Thanks, I mean, it called, you know, the mandala, the idea of building something beautiful that's going to be washed away as soon as you get done.

[845] with it.

[846] I often think about life that way, not physically so much but like I feel I'm in my mid -50s now and I feel like I'm starting to figure it out.

[847] Yeah, that is part of the problem, right?

[848] By the time you realize the hustle the fucking game was almost done.

[849] It's like I'm learning how to dance and they're turning the lights on.

[850] That's sort of probably also what contributed to all these fucked up civilizations was that people only lived to be like 30, you know, if you were really lucky.

[851] So you were just constantly on momentum, like running downhill where you couldn't stop, like, wah!

[852] And then the barbarian hordes cut your head off.

[853] And then hopefully along the way you fucked and left behind some of your jeans, and then they fucked.

[854] And people just died off in these giant chunks when rats came into your cities.

[855] It carried fleas.

[856] It had the plague.

[857] And then finally, we developed the ability to fight off diseases, inoculate ourselves from certain viruses, build up walls to keep out the barbarians, build up stockpiles of food so that we didn't have to constantly hunt and gather.

[858] And then everybody went, hmm, I think if you make something circular, we can roll it.

[859] I'm going to call it a wheel.

[860] And then they started pushing things along, and then they start, I mean, you could argue that agriculture and that civilization was the downfall, but you could also argue it was the beginning of real thought.

[861] It was the beginning of relaxed thought because you had the opportunity to innovate.

[862] Well, and you had the surplus of food that you could have people who thought for a living.

[863] Yeah.

[864] And then the machine slowly started to plot our demise.

[865] They started with the listen, I could be a wheel, man. I can carry you around.

[866] You need to put anything on your back.

[867] I'll make life easier for you.

[868] Hey, dude, you know, if you just fucking make a silo, you could put all your grain in the silo.

[869] Yeah, exactly.

[870] You have stockpiles in the winter.

[871] The next thing you know, you got Steve Jobs.

[872] Oh, yeah.

[873] Let me, I mean, I remember in the it must have been in the 80s when my boss gave me a beeper.

[874] And I was like, oh, cool, I get a beeper now.

[875] And within two days, it's like, you might as well put a fucking leash around my, you know.

[876] It's like, this isn't helping me. This is for you, you fuck.

[877] How about people that are required to answer emails over the weekends?

[878] Yeah.

[879] There's a lot of jobs that you're required to answer emails at night over the weekend.

[880] You have to constantly be aware.

[881] You have to have your phone.

[882] There's certain companies that require people that are employees to have their phone where the notifications are turned on so that an email's come in for the company, you have to instantly answer them.

[883] Even when you're not at work?

[884] You're not at work.

[885] You're working.

[886] There's jobs, especially when it comes to Silicon Valley and these really very competitive tech industries.

[887] There's a lot of, like, debate as to when you should not have to answer an email.

[888] Like, when is it okay?

[889] Like, if your boss sends you an email at 7 o 'clock at night and you don't respond until 6 o 'clock in the morning when you wake up or whatever it is, you can get in trouble.

[890] And they're fucking drug testing you.

[891] That drives me nuts.

[892] You know, you smoke weed.

[893] fucking last weekend and you come to work and you're like are you fucking kidding me this is slavery that one's nuts that is slavery we're moving back to spain and you know are you oh yeah really oh yeah yeah I mean this was always a temporary visit this was a slow nomadic trip through north America Portland and then Spain well it was I mean first it was Vancouver right Canada and then we're in Nicaragua for the winter then we went back to Vancouver then we came to LA for the winter there's when, you know, you and I, Duncan started doing the shrimp parade and all that.

[894] I was living in Topanga.

[895] But it's always like a slow move.

[896] And then we went to Portland for a year and a half.

[897] And now we're going to go back to Barcelona.

[898] What made you decide?

[899] To go back?

[900] Yeah.

[901] Well, we were always planning to go back.

[902] I mean, we sort of flirted with maybe staying for a while.

[903] But my wife's a doctor.

[904] And for her to get a license in the U .S. would mean like going back to medical school, essentially, which she's not going to do, right?

[905] And she really likes working.

[906] She hasn't worked in four years while we've been traveling.

[907] So, you know, that's an issue, like if she's going to continue practicing.

[908] But also just we really like Spain.

[909] You know, I've lived in Spain most of my life.

[910] I've lived in Barcelona longer than I've lived anywhere else.

[911] Really?

[912] And what is it about Barcelona that's more appealing than America?

[913] You know, when I first got to Spain, I felt I traveled a lot.

[914] and I was actually on my way somewhere else, but I got robbed, and, you know, I ended up hanging out.

[915] And the way Spanish people see life is much closer to the way I see life.

[916] And so even though I was raised in America, I never felt like this country never really made sense to me. How so?

[917] Well, like what we're just talking about, like work.

[918] Materialism.

[919] Materialism, you know, it's all about money.

[920] Spanish people, you know, the expression is, we.

[921] We work to live.

[922] We don't live to work, right?

[923] You know, there are no, like, Spanish cars.

[924] There's no cup holder.

[925] If you want, do you want to get a drink?

[926] Pull over in a cafe and get a drink.

[927] There are no to go cups.

[928] You want a coffee?

[929] Go to a cafe.

[930] Really?

[931] Yeah.

[932] It's like.

[933] Someone should tell them about cups.

[934] Lids on them.

[935] The fuck is wrong with those apes.

[936] Crazy.

[937] Uncivilized, heathens.

[938] Fucking cave people.

[939] Sex.

[940] You know, even though Spain is, you know, officially a Catholic.

[941] the country, there's so much more chilled out about sex, about sex outside of marriage, like, eh, whatever, just don't tell me about it.

[942] That's the sort of normal way to deal with it.

[943] Women, no, you look, I've lived in Spain 23 years or something, right?

[944] I get accustomed when I see a beautiful woman.

[945] I look at her, and she knows I'm looking at her, and she appreciates it, and she smiles, and I smile, and everybody's happy.

[946] Come to America, look at a woman like that, you're a fucking rapist.

[947] Right.

[948] I raping me. Have you heard that?

[949] Microaggressions.

[950] I mean, fuck your microaggressions.

[951] I don't want to hear, if you're not a fucking dwarf, I don't want to hear about microaggressions.

[952] Give me a break.

[953] I mean, this country is just nuts, man. And I feel bad because I love people here.

[954] I've got great friends here.

[955] There are a lot of things I love about it.

[956] Like, you know, work -wise, it's the best place to be.

[957] But life -wise, fuck, I love.

[958] Spain you go out to lunch with a friend it's probably going to go till five or six o 'clock everybody just hangs out yeah yeah yeah no like restaurants right i'm sitting in a restaurant and uh we're talking the waiter first of all the waiter's going to come four times and ask you know how is everything oh how are you well how's your day going fuck you get away i'm trying trying to talk to talk to my friend here right then then they'll come and say are you still working on that this isn't work this is fucking lunch i'm like working on that Get out of here.

[959] Drive me crazy.

[960] Tips, 20%.

[961] I go to Portland.

[962] I fucking, you know, buy a croissant and a cup of coffee.

[963] There's a big tip jar.

[964] I run my credit card.

[965] 10%, 15%.

[966] You just handed me a fucking bag and a cup.

[967] I'm supposed to give you 15 % extra?

[968] That's because your boss is too fucking cheap to pay you a decent wage.

[969] That is true.

[970] That is exactly what it is.

[971] I like the tip thing because I like being generous.

[972] I like the option to make someone happy by giving them a nice.

[973] tip.

[974] Right.

[975] But it is kind of fuck that like waiters and waitresses don't even make minimum wage.

[976] Right.

[977] That's, I don't know if that's true anymore.

[978] Is that still true?

[979] Yeah, that's true.

[980] That's crazy to me. That seems rude.

[981] It seems evil.

[982] It seems illegal.

[983] It's humiliating.

[984] Yeah.

[985] Too, because they have to like smile and give you all this fake cheerfulness.

[986] There was an article that was written recently about that, about the emotional toll of requiring people to be artificially happy.

[987] And that it's not productive and that like the artificially happy people that answer phones and ask questions and how are you today, sir, and how's everything.

[988] Like requiring people to do that that work for you, not only is it not productive, it wears them out and it makes them less productive at other things that you probably need them to because there's like a mental, there's an energy that you need to do that, that you could be doing and directing towards something that's actually productive.

[989] Instead of like, it's one thing, you don't want to be rude, but just being efficient is enough.

[990] You don't have to have this like fake sort of smiley bullshit.

[991] But that fake smiley bullshit, people require it, like especially people who are customers.

[992] The customer is always right, like that kind of nonsense, like this relationship where the customer has to be like massage and catered to.

[993] Instead of just appreciated as a fellow human being, there's like an established relationship between the customer.

[994] customer and the employee.

[995] Your employee is rude.

[996] Sir, I'm sorry.

[997] Is there any way we can make it up to you?

[998] I don't know.

[999] I might be taking my business elsewhere.

[1000] Whereas, you know, I mean, if that was about friendship, you'd be like, well, go fuck off.

[1001] Make a new friend, dickhead.

[1002] And in Spain, that's the reaction you'll get.

[1003] You know, that's nice.

[1004] You go into a shot.

[1005] But see, in Spain, I bitch all the time, too, right?

[1006] So, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

[1007] But, you know, what do you bitch about in Spain?

[1008] Well, that, you know, where's the fucking waiter?

[1009] The people are rude.

[1010] Exactly.

[1011] That is true that one thing I do find in Europe, the service is not as good.

[1012] No. It's just not.

[1013] No, because they don't get paid tips.

[1014] And they don't give a fuck.

[1015] But they should probably give a fuck.

[1016] Like there should be a, there's a middle ground there somewhere.

[1017] Yeah.

[1018] I think that is the middle ground, right?

[1019] I think, like, in Spain you go into a shop to buy whatever.

[1020] And the woman's on the phone with her boyfriend.

[1021] She's going to finish her conversation before.

[1022] she comes to help you, right?

[1023] Yeah.

[1024] But, I mean, for example, I went to Spain a few months ago to renew my residency paperwork and all that.

[1025] And it was a typically Spanish experience where, you know, this kind of thing in America, you would, you know, go online and fill out this thing and, you know, call the IRS and be on hold and then you'd get some grumpy asshole in Philadelphia and, but it would all get done pretty quickly.

[1026] In Spain, you go to this office and they're like, hey, how are you?

[1027] No, they're really friendly and nice.

[1028] He said, oh, no, it's not this office.

[1029] You have to go to this other office.

[1030] Oh, sorry, okay.

[1031] You go to the other office.

[1032] They're really nice, but that's not the right office either.

[1033] They misinformed you.

[1034] But nobody's got any, like, malaleche, as they say in Spanish, which is like bad milk, literally, which is like bad intentions.

[1035] So it takes three days, and it's kind of a pain in the ass, but it isn't a pain in the ass because you're having fun all the time.

[1036] Everyone's nice.

[1037] Right, right.

[1038] The women are beautiful.

[1039] The cops are nice in Spain.

[1040] They're nice guys.

[1041] You can go up to a cop in Spain and be like, hey, man, you know, can I park here?

[1042] And he's like, eh, I remember literally I was trying to park my motorcycle in the Rambluss.

[1043] And it's no parking, but there are motorcycles everywhere.

[1044] And there's this cop standing right there.

[1045] So I go over and I'm like, I'm a foreigner, right?

[1046] Can I park my bike here or not?

[1047] And he says, legally no, but nobody will say anything.

[1048] Like, can you imagine an American cop saying that?

[1049] Maybe in the 60s.

[1050] When would that have ever been said in this country?

[1051] a long time ago.

[1052] And see, the legal system is, in Spain, it's a problem if you're bothering someone.

[1053] Not if you're breaking a law.

[1054] If you're breaking a law and nobody says anything, the cops don't give a shit.

[1055] So in America, it's the law.

[1056] It's, did you break the law?

[1057] Are you growing weed on your terrace?

[1058] We're flying helicopters with infrared detectors to catch you.

[1059] not did your neighbors complain or did you shoot somebody right in spain like i grew weed on my terrace for 20 years nobody said a fucking word nobody cared is weed legal in spain like a lot of things in spain it's kind of not kind of is and tolerated and this is a really important uh cognitive difference between spain and the u .s is tolerance for ambiguity like like in Spain i'll tune in like like, oh, there's a, you know, Barso Madrid soccer game, really big deal, right?

[1060] It starts at 8 o 'clock.

[1061] I'll turn on the TV at 8 o 'clock and there's still some fucking sitcom on.

[1062] What's going on?

[1063] Well, they're running late.

[1064] You know, the game will start in 10 minutes.

[1065] Or, you know, it's just, can you park here?

[1066] Well, you know, there's a lot of ambiguity and no one really cares if it's not causing a problem, whatever.

[1067] Whatever, you know.

[1068] So weed.

[1069] For a long time, weed was illegal, officially, but the cops didn't care.

[1070] So, like, if you're smoking a joint on a playground and a cop walks by, he's probably going to say, dude, what the fuck, go somewhere else.

[1071] Get away from this playground to kids here.

[1072] That's what would happen.

[1073] That's it.

[1074] That's it.

[1075] If you give him shit, then maybe it'll escalate.

[1076] Do they have quotas?

[1077] No. No quotas.

[1078] No property seizures.

[1079] There's none of that stuff.

[1080] That's no minimum mandatory sentencing.

[1081] The property seizures are people that don't know about it.

[1082] I mean, they've lessened them considerably, but those things are horrific.

[1083] And what they've done to people is they've dragged people into the legal system oftentimes when they're completely innocent.

[1084] Property seizures are not necessarily, in many states, even a result of them catching you with something illegal.

[1085] It's catching them with too much cash.

[1086] like there's a lot of people that have gotten caught some states I think it was North Carolina or South Carolina some states were really bad with it they would catch people that would be say like say if you were going to buy a car like you call the guy on the phone how much you want for the car 10 grand okay I got it so you got your 10 grand your cash you're driving over this guy's house to buy the car and you have this 10 grand you get pulled over the cop go what are you doing 10 grand I'm going to buy a car well we don't believe you we're going to take that 10 grand and so they would take that 10 grand in one case this police department had bought a margarita machine with a 10 grand that they stole from people that they thought were buying drugs.

[1087] Or they claimed to think.

[1088] Claimed to think.

[1089] But just stop and think about that.

[1090] They took the money to buy a drug machine, which is what a margarita machine is.

[1091] I mean, a margarita mixer.

[1092] Like, what the fuck, man?

[1093] That kind of corruption, that kind of sneakiness where you write it down and you make it legal, in quotes.

[1094] Well, it's on the books.

[1095] search, you know, asset forfeiture, for people that are suspected for selling drugs.

[1096] If you have more than X amount of dollars on you, we can pull you over for that.

[1097] And they've just used that over and over again, that one law, to rip off law -abiding citizens and then drag them through the legal system for years at their own expense.

[1098] So even if they get their money back, the amount of time it's cost them.

[1099] And, you know, obviously that time, a lot of it is you're going to lose work because of that time.

[1100] And then hiring lawyers, legal fees.

[1101] And if you lose, they just robbed you of time and the money.

[1102] If you can't prove where that money came from, like maybe you're just really shitty with your taxes.

[1103] You don't pay taxes.

[1104] You work for cash.

[1105] And you've been just like working odd jobs in cash.

[1106] You saved up a bunch of money.

[1107] You can't prove that that money came from a legal means.

[1108] You're fucked.

[1109] Well, like everything else in this country, it's set up to fuck the person who can't afford to defend themselves.

[1110] I mean, it's set up even a creepier way that's anti the way this country's supposed to be set up where you're guilty until proven innocent.

[1111] You have to prove yourself innocent just by having currency on you.

[1112] I mean, and it's less than someone makes in a year.

[1113] It's like the idea that you had savings.

[1114] Get the fuck out of here.

[1115] You don't save anything, dummy.

[1116] Give me that.

[1117] And some kid who's selling weed living in his parents' basement, if they bust him, they take the parents' house.

[1118] Parents had nothing to do with it.

[1119] They'll take your car.

[1120] If they pull you over and you got a joint in your car, they sell.

[1121] sell your car.

[1122] I mean, there's been a lot of that going on over the past few decades.

[1123] Ever since I'd just say no shit when we saw on television with Nancy Reagan, that began the fucking hysteria of this stuff.

[1124] And then asset forfeiture is just legalized stealing.

[1125] And it's a, you know, a fucking billion dollar industry in this country.

[1126] Yeah.

[1127] Legalized stealing.

[1128] And then you got legalized, you know, bribery in the political system.

[1129] Okay.

[1130] Sure, yeah.

[1131] That's what lobbyists are.

[1132] Yeah, super PACs.

[1133] I mean, the whole, I mean, this country is collapsing, right?

[1134] You can see it.

[1135] If you start reading these books we're talking about, you can see the phase that we're in.

[1136] We're in a phase now where there are all these different industries that are set up to extract the common wealth.

[1137] Like literally, the wealth of the community is being pulled.

[1138] You know, the wars in the Middle East.

[1139] What was that serving?

[1140] The only people who benefited from any of that were, you know, Bechtel.

[1141] and Raytheon and Halliburton, yeah, these guys who do this for a living.

[1142] And Eisenhower himself said, you know, the military industrial complex, when you get people who make a living with bombs and they need to be making bombs, well, they're going to blow those bombs up.

[1143] They're going to find a reason to use those bombs.

[1144] Of course.

[1145] That was one of the creepiest speeches ever.

[1146] And the most fascinating thing about it is that it was capture, I mean, it was broadcast on television.

[1147] but if you didn't listen to it that time, it was gone.

[1148] He said it, and then it was gone.

[1149] And it was years and years and years later before people started actually watching that, like in the fog of war.

[1150] Wasn't it in the fog of war?

[1151] Was it in that?

[1152] Is that the McNamara movie?

[1153] Yes.

[1154] It might not have been in that.

[1155] But regardless, it's definitely available on YouTube.

[1156] I mean, I've watched it.

[1157] I saw it in the corporation.

[1158] Have you seen that film?

[1159] Yes, I did.

[1160] That's a great documentary.

[1161] Very good documentary.

[1162] That's a creepy documentary.

[1163] and you realize that when they compare corporations to cycle paths and the idea of the infinite growth paradigm.

[1164] There it is.

[1165] You have to constantly make new.

[1166] Like, if you make a billion dollars a year, you go, wow, you're successful.

[1167] What do you make next year?

[1168] Well, I'm just going to make a billion again.

[1169] What are you a fucking loser?

[1170] You have to make a billion one or a billion two.

[1171] Infinite growth.

[1172] Like, that is what the stock market's all about, right?

[1173] Consistent infinite growth.

[1174] Apple consistently makes more money.

[1175] Every year they have to make more money at Google.

[1176] Every year, you know, every fucking company, they have to make more money.

[1177] You can't Chris Ryan Enterprises is you have to constantly be in the black, Chris Ryan.

[1178] I got bad news for my shareholders.

[1179] We peaked.

[1180] We decided to convert our dollars to whatever the fuck they have in Spain.

[1181] What's the Spain money?

[1182] Oh, they're in euros now.

[1183] It used to be Pissettos.

[1184] So what do you do when you go over there?

[1185] I sit back and let my fucking wife work.

[1186] I married a doctor, dude.

[1187] I thought I married a doctor.

[1188] I'm like, I am set for life.

[1189] And that's how you were thinking when you married her?

[1190] Well, you know, a little bit.

[1191] Well, you love her, obviously.

[1192] Of course, I love her.

[1193] But there's also that added benefit, the fact that she's in a good business.

[1194] Well, I mean, the thing is doctors in Europe don't make the kind of money doctors make in the U .S., right?

[1195] But nor do they, you know, come out of college with 200 grand in debt.

[1196] Right.

[1197] Malpractice insurance?

[1198] Is that all a spirit of burden?

[1199] No. I mean, the whole thing is so amped up.

[1200] the U .S. A good doctor, like, you know, normal sort of, she's a psychiatrist.

[1201] The psychiatrist in Spain, you know, good experience, whatever might make $70 ,000 a year, something like that, you know, like a decent, stable, you know, good benefits.

[1202] Everyone in Spain, everyone in Europe gets at least a month off every year.

[1203] That's cool.

[1204] Paid, a month off.

[1205] If you work in a shop, you get a month off.

[1206] But they have the full 30 days off or do they get like a week here or week there?

[1207] 30 days, use it when you want.

[1208] 30 days in a row.

[1209] You can do if you want.

[1210] Most people take August.

[1211] The month of August, like nothing is happening.

[1212] Barcelona is empty.

[1213] Really?

[1214] In the month of August.

[1215] Yeah, it's amazing.

[1216] But, you know, like the thing about Spain that I love is that life is about pleasure.

[1217] I mean, if we had to really boil it down, there is no shame in pleasure.

[1218] And in America, pleasure is shameful.

[1219] Why do you think that is?

[1220] I think it goes back to the Puritans, you know, the original sort of influence of the Puritans and that it got amped up, you know, like we're talking about the war on drugs and we're talking about the Cobra effect, these unintended consequences.

[1221] If you look, it served political ends to keep attacking outsiders who did have pleasure, black people, Indians, Mexicans, you know, they're coming back again into fashion as the victims.

[1222] you know attack these brown -skinned pleasure you know hedonists because they're they're evil they're you know that's all evil shit but they're dancing nobody buys that shit in Europe in Spain anyway yeah fucking footloose this is how dumb we are in America we made footloose again they tried to remake footloose as fucks that's interesting though it's also when you look at it, America is so overwhelmingly infatuated with productivity.

[1223] Yeah.

[1224] You know, I mean, being productive and getting...

[1225] Efficiency.

[1226] Yes, efficiency.

[1227] Yeah.

[1228] And, you know, look at our workforce.

[1229] You know, we've...

[1230] Like, there's a goddamn commercial.

[1231] I think it's for, like, shell.

[1232] I think it's...

[1233] I think it's a shell commercial.

[1234] And there's an old man, and it's a weirdest fucking commercial.

[1235] And it's talking about how hard this guy works.

[1236] And this guy, he's a farmer, and he's, like, standing like a field of wheat.

[1237] And he's like, you work hard, not because you have to, but because it's what you do.

[1238] And the guy smiles.

[1239] And I'm like, what the fuck are you saying?

[1240] It's almost like you're trying to trick people into working hard so they can tell people.

[1241] There it is right there.

[1242] Almost.

[1243] This is the guy.

[1244] Can we play this?

[1245] Let's just play this because it's just go full screen because it's so fucking bizarre.

[1246] This is one of the weirdest commercials, man. I always weird out.

[1247] Because they air this commercial.

[1248] During hunting shows.

[1249] Not because you have to.

[1250] Not because some boss told me to, but because that's what you were born to do.

[1251] Now watch this.

[1252] They get close on this guy?

[1253] And that deserves the best we can do.

[1254] And he smiles.

[1255] It's what you're born to do.

[1256] Thank you.

[1257] Thank you for working hard from the number one heavy -duty engine oil in America.

[1258] What the fuck?

[1259] Kind of a commercial is that?

[1260] It's what you were born to do?

[1261] Now, here's what kills me. The person who wrote those words doesn't work for Shell.

[1262] He works for an advertising agency that they hired to do that.

[1263] Yeah.

[1264] That old man, he's a fucking actor.

[1265] Yes.

[1266] Nobody who works for Shell really had anything to do with that.

[1267] Yeah.

[1268] You know, so the classic commercial, we here at Chevron, we believe that blah, blah, blah, blah, and then you see all the people with clipboards and hard hats of various racial backgrounds.

[1269] None of those people work for fucking Chevron.

[1270] None of them.

[1271] The guy who wrote the words doesn't work.

[1272] the guy who's reading the words, it doesn't worry.

[1273] There is no, Chevron is like a, is an entity that's, there is no there, you know?

[1274] Right.

[1275] It's a collection of people designed to collect money.

[1276] And it's not even the people who matter because all those people could quit tomorrow and Chevron would still exist.

[1277] They just hire more people.

[1278] Yeah.

[1279] So Chevron's like the whirlpool and the people are the water.

[1280] Oh.

[1281] You know?

[1282] So that's part of this whole thing I'm writing.

[1283] But, you know, did you see that?

[1284] commercial, speaking of irritating American commercials, there was one I think it was on the Super Bowl even where there's like a dude walking through the house and he's like, why do I have the best?

[1285] I have the best because that's what I am and that's what I do and he like high fives his kid.

[1286] It was a Cadillac commercial.

[1287] Do you remember that?

[1288] No, I didn't see it.

[1289] I haven't seen it.

[1290] Oh, it was so fucking annoying.

[1291] Why do I have the best because that's what I am?

[1292] Because that's who I am.

[1293] We work harder, we play harder.

[1294] And it's about America?

[1295] Bro.

[1296] Yeah.

[1297] Bro?

[1298] What happened to bro?

[1299] Bro used to be cool.

[1300] You know that guy was in a frat.

[1301] I know, but calling someone bro, you used to be, what's up, bro?

[1302] It used to be okay.

[1303] It used to be like a black thing, in fact.

[1304] It started out and white people ruined it.

[1305] Like, dorky, young white guys ruined bro.

[1306] Yeah.

[1307] What's up, bro?

[1308] Like, that used to be okay.

[1309] Bro would be like, he called me bro.

[1310] I'm a brother.

[1311] It's short for brother.

[1312] But now bro is like the duchiest thing someone can call you.

[1313] He's a bro.

[1314] Or one of the things that people love to throw around is, especially in the fitness industry, is bro science.

[1315] It's like when, like, there's a lot of, like, really wacky ideas when it comes to athletics.

[1316] And some people, they have these ideas that don't necessarily have any scientific background to them.

[1317] And they call it bro science.

[1318] Yeah.

[1319] Yeah, he's full of bro science.

[1320] Bromance.

[1321] Yeah, bromance.

[1322] But bromance is, you know, you love a guy.

[1323] Like, that's like, oh, that guy's awesome.

[1324] I got a bromance for that guy.

[1325] And there's like, there's like this, someone was teaching me the, what is it, the handshake, shoulder, one arm.

[1326] There is a definite thing there.

[1327] There's a thing.

[1328] Yeah.

[1329] There's like a grip, like a fucking manly thumb up grip.

[1330] And then the one thing.

[1331] And if you're really douchey, give a couple slaps on the back.

[1332] Yeah, there's a word for that, too.

[1333] That's like, I'm not gay slap.

[1334] I've seen people slap each other Pretty goddamn hard doing that That doesn't feel good Here's another thing I love about Spain You kiss girls always On the mouth?

[1335] No, on the cheeks When you meet...

[1336] Right in the pussy You meet a woman You kiss kiss Oh okay Then I come to America It's like hi how are you You know like keep four feet away from me You might be a rapist You're eye raping them already What are you doing Looking at them, you fucking creep.

[1337] You're over 50?

[1338] You're over 50 looking at a woman, you piece of shit.

[1339] What the fuck is wrong with you?

[1340] Don't you have grandchildren or something?

[1341] Wait on?

[1342] Hey, what do you think about Donald Trump talking about how hot his daughter is?

[1343] Did he say that?

[1344] He did.

[1345] Oh, you didn't hear about this.

[1346] So this became a big problem because he said, you know, Ivanka, my daughter, she's one of the hottest, you know, most beautiful women alive.

[1347] And he said, I'll tell you what, if I were 30 years younger and he said, you know, if I were 30 years younger and not her dad?

[1348] Whoa!

[1349] What the fuck does that mean?

[1350] Jesus Christ.

[1351] I wonder if he's jerked off to his daughter.

[1352] Just saying, look, this is just thought.

[1353] No one's getting hurt here.

[1354] It's me alone with my ideas.

[1355] I made her.

[1356] Yeah, I don't know.

[1357] Yeah.

[1358] That's a weird thing to say.

[1359] It is a weird thing to say.

[1360] But I think it's better to say it than to think it and give it power.

[1361] Right.

[1362] Right.

[1363] I think saying shit, and this, again, you know, back to the whole Spain -U

[1364].S.

[1365] thing.

[1366] In