Adam Sandler

[0] Hi, my name is Adam Sandler, and I feel stunned about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.

[1] Ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens.

[2] I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[3] I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[4] Hey there, and welcome to a very special episode of Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[5] And today I'm talking to someone I've known for a really, really long time.

[6] And the truth is, we are friends.

[7] We've known each other since we both got started way, way, way back in the day.

[8] And so today, a conversation with a good friend of mine.

[9] Adam Sandler.

[10] You know, we have been friends for a really long time.

[11] I met you when you came to Saturday Live.

[12] I was working there.

[13] Yes.

[14] I remember you.

[15] You and Odenkirk and Smigle and Greg Daniels all like shared one back part of the office.

[16] Yes.

[17] And you would come in.

[18] Very coxious.

[19] You, okay, I want to, exactly what I wanted to talk about.

[20] You were the most confident young man I've ever been in my life.

[21] Yes.

[22] And I admire that.

[23] Thank you.

[24] It was just sheer driving a little mostly stupidity.

[25] That made me that way.

[26] was.

[27] I was, yeah, certainly went for a laugh.

[28] I was competing with Farley, by the way.

[29] town in New Hampshire right over the border to yeah I got this I got this this is what I should be doing how do you how did you where did that come from is that your dad is your mom who well my dad and mom always were very you know telling me I was good at stuff they were and they always loved me and had my back I they they talked about how good I could be at things you know my father was definitely gave me you know realism of my what I I'm not good at, too, but they definitely told me, you know, you could do this, you could play guitar, you could sing, you can, you know, you can't dance.

[30] So I tried to dance a little bit to be the triple threat that my grandmother said I should be, and then they said to eliminate the dancing and concentrate on the other.

[31] So you lost the dance.

[32] Yeah, I lost the dance.

[33] But I was nuts.

[34] I was certainly, and I think it was just, I told so many friends.

[35] in New Hampshire when I left to be a comedian that I was going to be huge I said I'm going to be huge man I'm a huge and I would put myself in a corner like it's getting bigger people are starting to notice and no one was noticing really but I was like saying all the stuff to my hometown kid buddies that how everyone's talking about me and they weren't talking about me but I just put some weird thing in my head like I gotta get this done man see I heard a story there's a friend of mine witness this a stand -up comedian and Ron Richards, a guy I knew from years and years and years ago when I was first starting out.

[36] And Ron Richards told me that he was in a club when Eddie Murphy was just starting out.

[37] And nobody showed up that night.

[38] There was no one in the audience.

[39] And all the other comics were pissed and angry.

[40] And this is, you know, saying this is ridiculous, fuck this.

[41] And they all, a lot of them left.

[42] Ron Richards stuck around.

[43] Eddie Murphy went out, I don't know if he was like 17, 18, and did his whole set.

[44] out there for nobody and when I heard that story I was thinking about that story the other day and I thought I think Adam would do that I think you would just be one of those people like or if there's one person in the audience I'm going out there and doing it because I'm going places I got stuff to do yeah yeah this is what they've come to see that's funny it takes a level of confidence that and in your ability to be able to say to your friends in New Hampshire I didn't say anything to anybody oh really no I never said hey keep your eye on me these kids go in places I always kept my cards close to my chest.

[45] I like that better.

[46] That's the better place to be.

[47] I know I did it just out of fear and hedging my bet.

[48] Like I don't want to be able to later on to have flamed out and have people say, Right.

[49] What happened?

[50] But that's the smarter way to do it.

[51] That's why I'm saying I was kind of stupid.

[52] I had a big mouth.

[53] I would say, you know, make comments about myself when I was so young.

[54] I was 17 when I started.

[55] And I was just telling people when I went to NYU my first year, I would tell my friends like, yeah, we're picking up steam.

[56] and people are starting to...

[57] Who's we, by the way?

[58] That's the other thing is you...

[59] What I love about this is that you have an entourage in your mind, you know?

[60] Me and the Sandman are picking up, Steve.

[61] Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

[62] We are going places.

[63] Who, did you see?

[64] There's going to be other guys here soon.

[65] Just have a lot of seats available for me and all of us.

[66] But, yeah, I don't know, Conan.

[67] I was psychotic because I do remember telling Lorne when I was with you in the first couple of weeks.

[68] and sitting down, you know, you first get the show, and then you sit down and talk to Lauren.

[69] I remember telling Lauren, hey, I'm going to be huge.

[70] And he was staring at me like I was nuts.

[71] I was like, you know, I was going to be the next daddy.

[72] I just came with the big mouth.

[73] And, you know, I was just hanging out with a bunch of comedians before.

[74] And they were like, you never, my act was never cocky.

[75] I was never cocky.

[76] No. But I, my, I don't know, I positioned myself in my head.

[77] I got to do this.

[78] I got to do that.

[79] I gave myself an ultimatum or something.

[80] And my father, I remember, used to say, if you don't make it by 23, or he gave me an age, he goes, you'll come work for me. And I remember.

[81] What did your dad do for, I met your dad, and I knew your dad, but I don't, what did he do?

[82] Electrical contracting.

[83] Okay.

[84] He did that in Massachusetts, in Westford, Mass. And I remember going, okay, good, I have that.

[85] And then I would start going, oh, 23, I better hurry up.

[86] I got to get this done.

[87] before I wasn't upset about having to work an electrical contract.

[88] I didn't even think about that.

[89] I was just more upset about having to tell the guys in New Hampshire, I didn't make it.

[90] So that's why I was like, I got to really figure this out quick.

[91] I had a time ticking in my head.

[92] I'm going to put this in context because at the time, there were all these other young people that came in, funny, talented young people.

[93] And people would think of them as being hyper -confident.

[94] now but at that time they weren't like i have a very clear memory of chris rock and chris rock when he showed up at s &l was very quiet and very kind of you know tentative and and and he'd come around at night and he wasn't sure he had the right idea and he would he would he would peek his head in and go hey guys what are you working on you know he wasn't the chris rock that we know now right right he had the talent but he hadn't built up that confident stage persona that's true that he needed to Spade was another guy who was walking around kind of asking people, what are you guys working on?

[95] Anybody having ideas for me?

[96] Okay, I'll go away now.

[97] All right.

[98] Hope I didn't offend anybody.

[99] They were nice.

[100] They were, well, you know, they were testing the ice to see if it would.

[101] And you were incredibly different.

[102] You were very, you know, you knew what you had.

[103] You weren't worried about it.

[104] or you didn't let us think you were worried about it.

[105] Right, right.

[106] Yeah, I don't even think I was worried about it then.

[107] I worry more now about, oh, man, what do I got to do?

[108] If I take a part in a movie, I'm terrified that I'm not going to do something right.

[109] But back then, I was like full steam and just, I remember when you wrote the, that update for me about the vacation, a guy who, I did this thing where I was a travel, critic or something and just talked about going to hotels and never leaving the hotel.

[110] Oh my God.

[111] Okay.

[112] You wrote that all for me, man. I couldn't believe it because I couldn't write like you.

[113] And it was my first year.

[114] And that was one of my, I think that was like my first update.

[115] Wow.

[116] Okay.

[117] And you wrote this giant, hilarious piece.

[118] And I, that kind of influenced in the way I started writing for myself a little odd, a little weird.

[119] endings on jokes that seemed like they were going to go one way and they went the other way.

[120] You influenced me there.

[121] But I didn't kill with that, but that started making me go, okay, that's the style of comedy I want to do.

[122] Yeah.

[123] Can we do another take where he says it did kill?

[124] It really did kill.

[125] It only didn't kill because of me. Your stuff was the best because I remember Downey loved it.

[126] Everybody loved it.

[127] But I was not, I was nervous out there.

[128] You know, it's interesting you mentioned taking parts in movies.

[129] Everyone listening to this right now knows, I mean, you've been doing comedy at this hyper -successful level for so long.

[130] One of the points that's always fascinating to me is you are an excellent actor.

[131] You really are a terrific actor.

[132] And you told me, you were sitting in my office one night, and you told me you loved me, which is a different thing we'll talk about later.

[133] We remember when we kissed a little bit?

[134] Yeah.

[135] And you put your hand on the nape of my neck, and I was like, okay, well, there was that.

[136] No, you told me, you told me, you said, yeah, my hero, the person who I kind of wanted to be growing up was James Kahn.

[137] Oh, right, yes.

[138] You told me that.

[139] And at the time, I remembered not understanding, like James Kahn, you mean, from the godfather.

[140] And I'm trying to equate him with this really young, super goofy guy.

[141] Right.

[142] And then, I'm going to say about a month ago, I'm flipping channels, and I saw this 1970s movie, I think, where he played an assassin, and he's with Robert Duvall, and he plays an assassin, and they turn on him, and then he goes after the guys that turned on him, one of these movies, and it's classic 1970s James Kahn, and I'm looking at it, I'm like, I get it.

[143] that's funny that you have this intensity when i've seen you play serious roles you don't have to say much but the eye goes to you and you really know how to do it that's cool i i loved them and i don't know if i told you i just moved out here and i was on the paramount lot oh i worked with mtv and they were doing unplugged on the paramount lot i think this this story might be off but they're doing unplugged.

[144] Somebody's playing there, some giant band like Nirvana or somebody cool.

[145] And I went to see him.

[146] And as I'm going there, I see James Kahn.

[147] It's before Nirvana.

[148] It's because I was, I was like 22.

[149] And I'm walking to go see him, whoever the band is.

[150] And I see James Kahn, and he's in the misery makeup.

[151] Yep.

[152] And he's got all this bruised up face and all made up and stuff.

[153] And I see him, and somebody goes, that's James Kahn.

[154] I go, and I'm, walking, I'm like, holy cow, I'm about to meet James Kahn, because I'm walking past him.

[155] And I said, hey, Mr. Kahn.

[156] And he's nice, and he looked at me. I go, hey, I just moved out here.

[157] I'm going to be an actor.

[158] And he goes, oh, good luck.

[159] That's great.

[160] And I said, my grandmother, because my grandmother used to say it, too, I said, my grandmother thinks I'm going to be the next you.

[161] And he goes, oh, you don't want to do that.

[162] Yeah.

[163] I guess because he was Jewish, too.

[164] It connected with me like he wanted to be a representative.

[165] Well, he's Jewish.

[166] He's tough.

[167] He's a badass.

[168] And he's the coolest guy in the room.

[169] And I think he slept with the most consecutive playboy playmates.

[170] Is that right?

[171] I think he has the record.

[172] That's fun.

[173] I could, you know, I just want to put that out there.

[174] James Con, feel free to call in.

[175] I wish it was a call -in show.

[176] Call in if I'm wrong, but I think he has the record for, I think he lived at the Playboy Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[177] And he just kept consecutive months.

[178] He just kept getting him under his belt.

[179] That's funny.

[180] One of the few guys who, when Bert Reynolds would hear, he'd at the mansion, be like, all right, call me when he's not there.

[181] I'm going to settle down a little bit.

[182] Here's what I want to say.

[183] The Netflix stand -up special is one of the finest pieces of work.

[184] I was so happy for you.

[185] It is so well put together.

[186] It is so beautifully.

[187] put together as a stand -up special, but I love the way it cuts from rehearsal to massive arena to tiny space again effortlessly.

[188] And you're having a really good time.

[189] Yeah, yeah.

[190] That felt to me like that must have been a labor of love.

[191] It was.

[192] It's like you right now, I'm sure, being on the road again.

[193] I love it.

[194] We were older than we were.

[195] Back then, I don't know if I appreciated it as much because I was so much about, you know, when I was 23, 24 on the road, I was like just trying to get stuff done, I guess.

[196] Now I'm on the wrong.

[197] I was on the road.

[198] I still try my hardest.

[199] I didn't want to do good stuff.

[200] But it was, it's less of like, oh, man, if I do this, then I'll get that.

[201] I was more just in the moment more and enjoying being on stage and trying to write jokes all night long.

[202] It was fun again.

[203] Like, it would be three in the morning and I'd be writing stuff down on my phone, what I thought was funny at that moment.

[204] Right.

[205] and just trying it out that night.

[206] And that special was definitely a lot of work.

[207] Worked, worked hard, putting it together, right?

[208] Yes, you can tell a lot of work went into it.

[209] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[210] And so many songs, I think the special is, I mean, maybe 50 % music.

[211] Yeah, yeah, I did.

[212] And really enjoy the stand -up, but then the songs are all new, I think.

[213] Yes, yes.

[214] And some of them feel like they would take a lot of work to learn how to perform them effortlessly like there's some really there's the what's the song i need my my keys my phone walla keys yeah that was that was tough and i'm looking at that and i'm thinking like okay that would take i wouldn't never i would never memorize that right try and try and try and get it wrong it would be scary to do in front of a lot of people oh my god yes i i would actually skip that one a lot like i'd look back at dan boola the uh piano player who's great by the way you guys click really well We did it for like two and a half, three years ran around together and got to know each other.

[215] I love them.

[216] He wrote a song that, he wrote Phone Wallachies, by the way.

[217] Yeah.

[218] And he also wrote a song that I played on your show about my old chair and giving away my old chair.

[219] I did it like two years ago.

[220] Yeah.

[221] And I said to Sandy Wernick, my manager, who you know was very goofy.

[222] I said, I'm thinking to doing stand -up again.

[223] I'd love to have somebody young to hang out with to try to help me out writing stuff.

[224] And he said, he sent me Dan's tape, and he played that song, and my old chair song.

[225] And I just thought the kid was funny as hell.

[226] And then I started hanging out with him, and we do the stuff together and write jokes.

[227] And his other kid, Paul Sado, he wrote a movie called The Cobbler that I was in.

[228] He did that with Tom McCarthy.

[229] And I told him, I was thinking of getting stand -up going again.

[230] So the three of us did a lot of stuff.

[231] That's great.

[232] You're mixing it up.

[233] You can tell you're working with.

[234] with different people.

[235] You mixed it up.

[236] You go out there.

[237] And I love seeing the process of you assembling it.

[238] And then you're clearly having fun.

[239] There's one song we were mentioning, it was an old lady, an old lady, and you point to the crowd.

[240] And then they, yeah, and you point to this old lady.

[241] And grandma.

[242] And there's an old woman in the crowd and the camera got her and stayed with her.

[243] And you guys relentlessly.

[244] keep the camera on her and she doesn't know what's happening she's uh that was amazing luck man uh that lady was um the guy who owned the place jamie yeah his class the hayworth theater yeah yeah and it was his grandma was at the show and he said do you mind if my grandmother watches she likes you i said it's really filthy man he's like no she she likes you get that i i get uh this is the dynasty typewriter theater that place yes yes yeah i've been i've been down there, I have to tell you, I get so nervous for my audience.

[245] If I'm going to do a show, oh yeah.

[246] And, you know, the show that I'm doing now is pretty clean, but some of the comics work pretty blue.

[247] I'm pretty clean, but, you know, but, but it's just, they're hilarious and they're doing some blue stuff and some of it can be pretty filthy and they're talking about real stuff.

[248] Right.

[249] And just before the show every now and then, people will come to me in the green room or the, dressing room, it'll be like, this is O 'Connor, and it's your wife's parents, oldest friends, the Ditherworths.

[250] Then they'll come by and be like, we just came by and we bought tickets and we're going to be right up front when the girl sings about abortion, you know, and you're, and I'm horrified and I want to protect them and get them out of there and I'm worried the whole time and you can't do that.

[251] And then sometimes afterwards, they're just like, oh, I love the girl with the abortion.

[252] You know, they will.

[253] That's funny, man. If I hear the wrong person's in the crowd, I'll have times where I'm ready to, I'm in a good mood.

[254] You know how you find yourself in the right mood?

[255] Yep.

[256] And like, well, I'm going to be good tonight because I'm feeling like myself and nothing's making me nuts.

[257] And then all of a sudden somebody goes, so -and -so is here and you're just like, and your whole mood changes.

[258] Yep.

[259] I get like that because of what I'm talking about.

[260] And I don't want to know who's there.

[261] I don't like no one either.

[262] Yeah, right.

[263] I used to be so.

[264] nuts that when I was first doing stand -up, I would never look out before the, I'd hide before a show, you know, it wasn't like a famous thing.

[265] I was just like, I don't want to see who's there.

[266] I would look into the lights where I was on and say, I didn't want to know who was not laughing or laughing who was judging me. And now I'm so happy.

[267] I literally will meet the crowd before the, I'll get so anxious to meet them.

[268] The lights are still up while they're filing in and I'll walk out by like, here we go.

[269] And they'll be like, is that at him?

[270] Oh, wow.

[271] I wouldn't do that.

[272] I'm weird.

[273] I'm weird.

[274] It makes me feel more comfortable.

[275] I'm superstitious about seeing the beforehand, but I'm curious, when you watch your own Netflix special, there's a camera that's showing these massive audiences, massive.

[276] You know, it just looks like there's thousands of people in there.

[277] Right.

[278] Now you can see someone way in the back, decide to go use the bathroom.

[279] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[280] And I know me, I'm like, I'm crazy enough that I'd be like, really?

[281] Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

[282] You can't hold it in?

[283] I know.

[284] For me?

[285] I know.

[286] You can't, that's how crazy I am.

[287] Oh, really?

[288] Where are you going?

[289] When someone gets up and leaves and goes, I mean, there's a bunch of places I've played where they can go and get drinks in the lobby.

[290] Right, yes.

[291] And I'm just like, really?

[292] Now you're getting the drink.

[293] You need a Mikhailob light right now.

[294] I used to bring Norm, Spade, Schneider, Swarton, all these guys on the tours.

[295] And they would do long each time.

[296] And they were doing 20, 25 minutes each.

[297] And then when I got up to the crowd was so needing to go.

[298] to the bathroom, that it would throw my rhythm off.

[299] And you became their bathroom break.

[300] Yeah, exactly.

[301] It's just like makes you crazy.

[302] But you know what's funny is no one understands they don't think Adam Sandler would ever think about that.

[303] They think you're in a different place.

[304] They don't know you are going to notice.

[305] Well, it's, I wish I could handle it better.

[306] The nights I'm light about it, I'm funnier.

[307] The nights that I get tense and jumpy, I had a manager.

[308] when I was like 19, and I was at the comic strip, and I was on stage, and he saw me do well.

[309] And then he came back a week later, he brought people to see me, and I didn't do well.

[310] I ate it, like, for 10 straight minutes, and I came off, and I said, on this crowd, blah, blah, blah, and he said, you didn't seem like you were last week.

[311] Last week, it looked like you were having fun up there.

[312] You were getting mad.

[313] you were yelling at that person for doing something and I was very sensitive back then if I saw a crowd member not enjoying if I got to laugh with the you know most of the crowd and somebody didn't laugh at I'd always jump on that guy what's the matter about are you all right can I get you something you know I was psychotic yeah yeah yeah it's so much easier just to ignore it and let that guy come to you eventually and the nights I do that it's a great show the nights I can't do that I mean, when you do these giant theaters or arenas and stuff, and they pay the most to be in the front row, a lot of times they're not your best audience.

[314] No, no. And that's the only ones you see and you're so mad at these guys for just being stiff and they're mad at you for charging so much money for those seats.

[315] So there's a little friction.

[316] We do a thing.

[317] I did a show, when I do a show and I'm sure you've had this too where people, they pay a lot extra to have a meet and greet.

[318] I really want to meet, you know.

[319] And so you meet with them.

[320] And then I was doing a show.

[321] I forget where were we?

[322] I forget where we were, but we did a show recently and someone stood up in the crowd.

[323] It was in the Midwest.

[324] And she stood up and she said, I've always wanted to meet you, but I didn't want to pay money for that meet and greet.

[325] And so I jumped off the stage and walked past all the people that had paid.

[326] Right, right, right, right, right.

[327] And I gave her a hug.

[328] And the whole crowd was like, yeah.

[329] Fuck those people.

[330] And I was thinking, and this is this weird way I'm having my cake and eating it too because those people paid to say hi to me and now I'm totally telling them that was not necessary.

[331] I wouldn't tell you.

[332] All you had to do was stand up in the middle of the show or wait in the parking lot and I will spend 20 minutes with you because I'm a very needy.

[333] I know you're decent.

[334] I'm a decent man. You're from the same school as me. If you make eye contact with me and you look like you need to talk, I'll go, yes, what is it?

[335] My kid last night I brought Sadie.

[336] You can't get mad at your kid for making eye con. type of you doing.

[337] Don't look at me. Call Sandy Warnock if you have a problem.

[338] No, no, no. So last night, I went to the Laker game.

[339] It was her first time sitting there, and I brought her, and we had a great time.

[340] And then after the game, I was leaving, and people were wanting to take my picture and stuff.

[341] And I took a few.

[342] And then I knew I had to get home for school.

[343] So I started passing people.

[344] And my kid would get so upset.

[345] She's like, that man wants to take your picture that i'll be all right he'll be all right i gotta get going no no and she was getting upset so i had to stop and take she was being my conscious a little more just saying get you know take the picture get make that person happy yeah my son what he does is he photo bombs all of them that's his way of saying i own this oh that's good i which i think is actually pretty clever uh i'm bringing this up because you mentioned uh getting angry i noticed a long time ago that it's in your it's in your comedy through all your movies and through a lot of of your act the character that just suddenly loses it you know and i thought yeah that's interesting to me that you you have a temper you have you have you have a temper and you kind of turned it into this you use it you use it um you know whether it's it's any of the characters you played in movies or a lot of them you can tap into it and it's and then when you did punch drunk love i thought yes, this is, that's a side of you, you're able to embody both of them.

[346] I think that's why people like you so much is you're confident, but you're also kind of act meek.

[347] Right, right, yes, you know, and you keep your lips very close together and you talk and you look down and your jokes make fun of, you make fun of yourself a lot, but you're also incredibly over -the -top confident and you've got both at the same time.

[348] And I think you've also got that thing where you're nice and you're sweet, but you've got a temper.

[349] And I'm curious, like, and sometimes.

[350] I think like, oh, I wonder if that comes from having a 70s dad.

[351] Yeah, yeah.

[352] Like, we had 70s dads.

[353] We didn't have, and you touch them in this a little bit and you're special because I've thought about this a lot.

[354] You talk about something that I've joked about, too, which is they want us in school all the time.

[355] Right, right, right, yeah.

[356] To be with our kids and you call it, you've got to be here for happy Tuesday.

[357] Yeah, right, right, right.

[358] And we were talking about how our dads were never at school.

[359] Right, yeah.

[360] Because your dad, my dad, if they came to school, it was a prime.

[361] Right, right.

[362] They weren't there to make fudge with us.

[363] Exactly.

[364] Yeah, exactly.

[365] But I don't know.

[366] I don't know if you tap into that kind of my dad had a temper and has a temper and your dad probably had a temper and we have tempers.

[367] And I don't know if that's going away now or what.

[368] I think, I mean, the biggest thing I got from my dad, my dad's temper was a little stronger than mine.

[369] Like, but the thing he did that I, I'm calming down, but I've always had.

[370] it was a quick to snap and go crazy full throttle and then they would go away and we were back to normal my father used to yell at us in the house and scare the hell out of us but then you know two minutes later we were sitting having lamb chops and having a good time again and that kind of thing and I uh I I I do that my movies a lot I expect the audience to be okay with me snapping oh yeah And then be, you know, well, they actually, they like it.

[371] I mean, that's the thing is whether it's in anger management, it's in, I mean, you've done all these movies where you lose it and it's seeing you fight your temper, it's really funny.

[372] Yeah, it's really funny.

[373] You're about to blow.

[374] You've got to kind of keep it together.

[375] And then you completely lose it.

[376] Right, right.

[377] And it's enjoyable.

[378] Yes, yes, yes.

[379] Yeah, I guess you're building an up enough that the audience says, okay, you know, you can let them have it.

[380] But, yeah, in real life, I'm getting better at that cone.

[381] I'm trying to not snap quite as much.

[382] Okay.

[383] We'll see what happens.

[384] We're here at your production offices, and I walked in and everyone...

[385] They're all nervous out there.

[386] They're super nervous.

[387] They don't want to make eye contact with you.

[388] A lot of young people out there who love you, man. They were so excited you were coming here.

[389] Oh, that's nice.

[390] Yes, yes.

[391] We were part of their lives, these children that work at the companies now.

[392] It's weird, isn't it?

[393] Yes, yes.

[394] This kid out there was saying he had a...

[395] He sent away for a Conan audience t -shirt from when he was really young and he was going to wear it in front of you.

[396] And then he got started feeling he was going to be humiliated.

[397] But it's, it is funny that these, I would have, I would have, I would have ripped him a new one.

[398] No, I would have, I would have, uh, I would have been fun to see it.

[399] I would have been, no, I'm, I'm always touched when someone, there's also what I, I don't know, you must get a kick out of this.

[400] You get this all the time when people come up and they've, I really like their work.

[401] They're funny.

[402] They're comedians and they're, I really look, I kind of look up to them.

[403] I think they're great, and they say, oh, you know, you must meet people at the time that got into the business because of they're watching you.

[404] And then now they're in the business.

[405] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[406] That's crazy.

[407] That's the best.

[408] Now you're James Kahn.

[409] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[410] Now you're like, oh, aim higher, kid.

[411] Yes.

[412] Don't do what I need.

[413] I am a mess.

[414] Don't be me. All right, we're going to take a quick break here.

[415] Wait for this break.

[416] It's going to be one of our best breaks ever.

[417] Now it's time for a segment.

[418] Conan O 'Brien pays off the mortgage on his beach house.

[419] Yes.

[420] This is where I get the word out on some products.

[421] Yes, I am paid for that word.

[422] And then I use that money to desperately pay down this massive mortgage I took out.

[423] What about me?

[424] Why don't you pay me?

[425] I pay you in foodstuffs.

[426] I gave you fresh eggs a couple weeks ago.

[427] I gave you a true story or not?

[428] That's a true story.

[429] story.

[430] I gave you fresh eggs.

[431] I did.

[432] Eggs.

[433] I've given you radishes, a big basket of radishes.

[434] It's not payment.

[435] Well, for most of man's history, yes, that was payment.

[436] For 99 % of man's history in that timeline, you have been paid.

[437] I can't pay my rent with it.

[438] No. Isn't that tragic?

[439] You've got to talk to your landlord about that, because that's good barley I gave you.

[440] Okay.

[441] And we're back.

[442] We actually here didn't take any.

[443] any break.

[444] No, you don't need it.

[445] I just didn't.

[446] I really paused for a second, but you heard a commercial or something.

[447] Just enough.

[448] You know, you did something in the Netflix stand -up special, which, again, I really loved.

[449] And then you did this thing that totally took me by surprise.

[450] I wasn't expecting it.

[451] You did this song about Chris Farley.

[452] And it got to me. It's a beautiful song.

[453] And it's funny.

[454] And I wasn't ready for that.

[455] And which is, which I applaud you for.

[456] I couldn't wait for you to hear it, by the way, Kohn.

[457] Man. I saw you.

[458] I saw you at something.

[459] I said, I'm doing the thing.

[460] You're going to like it.

[461] Coney, you're going to really like the ending.

[462] You probably don't remember that.

[463] But I was psyched for you to see because I knew how much you loved Chris.

[464] Yeah.

[465] He was one of the first.

[466] I've mentioned this to people before, but he was, remember when if you had to get a, when people came in, they had to meet with Lauren in his office on, you know, right above the stage.

[467] and Lauren would keep them waiting because he was always busy.

[468] I remember coming in one day and there was this big, round, blonde -haired kid with his hair combed down and he was bobbing back and forth in his chair and his jacket didn't fit and he was waiting to meet with Lauren and it was Chris and Odin Kirk introduced me to him because Odin Kirk knew him from Second City.

[469] And so I said hi and we giggled and goofed around a little bit and then I had to go.

[470] and then I came back like the next day and he's still I mean I think he waited a couple of days to me with Lord and he's bobbing in his chair and so I was like hey you want a tour and he was like yeah yeah and then I took him on a fake tour I just walked around and I was like see that guy holding that boom over there that's old Boomy Joe and it was all bullshit you know she thought see those hey fellas you know good to see it that's squanto and Pronto and it wasn't their names and I was walking around and he got that right away and he was cackling and then he was doing it And we were just goofing around like kids.

[471] And then he did, I think, very quickly, Downey wrote the Chippendales thing for me. And then he blew up.

[472] Yeah, that was a superstar immediately after.

[473] Yeah, him and Patrick Swayze being Chippendale dancers.

[474] And that was, I remember watching that, you know, like from under the bleachers and going, oh, you know.

[475] Yeah, that was it.

[476] That's amazing.

[477] Yeah.

[478] But I wasn't prepared for all that footage and how.

[479] Yeah.

[480] There's footage of you, how young you were.

[481] Yeah.

[482] You got him on my show.

[483] I saw that footage.

[484] I wasn't prepared for that.

[485] I'm like, oh, my God, we were just kids.

[486] I know.

[487] You looked so young in that.

[488] I tell you, I was doing the Farley song on the road, just me and guitar and piano and singing it.

[489] And it was people liked it, and they connected with it.

[490] And then we were talking about, should we show images just to really bring in, you know, Chris to life.

[491] And we were arguing back and forth, like, well, we've been doing it without it.

[492] I don't know why we need to.

[493] And then we started looking at footage of Chris.

[494] And we were like, oh, my God, it's just so much fun to remind the audience how great the guy was and how sweet he was.

[495] And, yeah, I felt the same.

[496] Him on your show makes me, when he covers his face and he's flirting with somebody, I forget.

[497] We were flirting with Chris and I pretended to...

[498] Was it Elizabeth Shoe?

[499] I think it was that.

[500] We did another bit once where Chris and I'm interviewing Chris and then we noticed two attractive pages over by the doors and of course we do that stupid old Teresa doge's thing where we cut to the door and we had pre -taped Chris and I dressed as pages and we're doing that really corny like yoohoo and finger waves you know finger waves like hello sweet and Chris was like I like the one on the left because he's attracted the one that's him and I'm attracted to the one that's me that freak me out because it look exactly like my mom And, but it was just, it was just, it was, it's really hard to explain him to people, you know.

[501] What about how good of a guy about you?

[502] He was definitely, when he walked into the room, everybody, just just like, okay, here he is, the man. And, but he just talked about you, Conan, and he talked about Odie.

[503] And he cared about everybody else.

[504] Yeah, sweet.

[505] And I always gave it up to the other guys, didn't think he was as funny as, which may have heard him actually i think he could have used a little more self -esteem or something you know maybe you know uh he uh but i i think it was that and also the fact that he was generally such a nice guy he like i mean you talk about having quick temper he was he was there too yeah yeah he could snap yeah he was he could back it up too he was really uh but he let it go quick and they would laugh his ass off at how upset he would get and he'd laugh at himself.

[506] But anyways, he did like other people's stuff and he would run up to you if you did well on the show and be like, oh my God, Adzi, that was so funny.

[507] And he was so sweet.

[508] That's one of the sweet things I think about in comedy, there are people who are very talented but they have a hard time giving it up.

[509] Sure.

[510] And then there are people that really can give it up.

[511] And you always notice you and Farley are two people that are both souls that see something and just love it and you can give it up.

[512] And that's a generosity, which is very unusual in comedy.

[513] I'm not saying it doesn't exist.

[514] It does.

[515] But you see a lot of comics are taking the measure of the other comic.

[516] Sure.

[517] It's a lot easier to be able to give it up.

[518] I think when I first started and when I was 18 and on stage and I saw some other people killing, I definitely sat back like, holy shit, it wasn't that easy to go.

[519] That guy's way better than me. Like, I was very friendly with Colin Quinn when I was young.

[520] Yep.

[521] He kind of taught me that giving it up to other guys.

[522] I met Colin when I was 17.

[523] He was hosting a show at the Paper Moon in the Village.

[524] He used to put me on stage.

[525] And, like, they didn't like me there, but Colin used to kind of.

[526] kind of talk them into using me. And he always would say, that was so funny when you said this and try to give me confidence and stuff.

[527] And then I guess I was like, oh, yeah, that would feel good.

[528] And then I started doing that myself for other comedians.

[529] But I get the thing the other way, too.

[530] When you see someone kill with something, you can go, oh, shit, I better get the world.

[531] It can inspire you.

[532] Can inspire you.

[533] Yeah, it should just inspire you.

[534] But it also can knock you back and go, oh, fuck, what have I been doing?

[535] I better figure the shit out.

[536] Right.

[537] I think you work harder than just about anybody I know.

[538] You are always working really hard and you push yourself.

[539] Yeah.

[540] What does that come from?

[541] Who's pushing you?

[542] No, I think myself, but we've had great talks about calming down and I know it's healthy.

[543] You and I have had really good talks about this.

[544] Yeah.

[545] We late night talks, maybe you see, I can take six months off and do nothing so I can just relax and enjoy life.

[546] And like three weeks in, I start.

[547] started going on, man. I got to figure out what I'm doing.

[548] I can't just sit and not think.

[549] I got to write stuff down or come up with what the next movie is or something.

[550] I just like it.

[551] Like, I feel comfortable working.

[552] I got, this will make you feel better.

[553] I had a nice conversation with Bob Newhart, not podcast or anything.

[554] I just was hanging out with him.

[555] I idolize the guy.

[556] Yeah.

[557] He's the man. And I'm talking to Bob Newhart.

[558] And he told me, yeah, Yeah, I mean, I think Bob Newhart is 89.

[559] I might be turning 90.

[560] And he just said, yeah, I was doing, you know, I took a little time off.

[561] And I wanted to take some time off because I'm doing a lot of clubs.

[562] And I've been in Vegas a lot.

[563] And so I took about two weeks off.

[564] And I was sitting there in the living room and my wife looked at me and said, you're going crazy.

[565] And he said, yes, I am.

[566] In that Bob Newhart way.

[567] And so he said, so the next day I was on.

[568] the plane to you know i'm like oh my god if he i mean there's no point this is the thing you and i talk about is when are we gonna is there some medication we can take i know technically there actually is i think but yeah yeah is there a way that it can just you know why what are we trying to do right now i don't i don't know i we just love doing it something we i think we're good at i i don't i don't understand why I keep wanting to push and push and push.

[569] And I don't know why I can't sit still.

[570] When I sit still like Thanksgiving, man, when the holidays come up, I am so nervous of my behavior and how I'm going to do at home and being there four days with my family.

[571] And I love them all so much, but I know I'm going to snap and I know I'm going to, I can't handle the rules.

[572] You're going to snap.

[573] My mother was yelling at what I wear.

[574] Okay.

[575] Let's talk about that.

[576] Okay.

[577] Every year you come to my Christmas party.

[578] I'm coming this year.

[579] Okay.

[580] Let's give the address out in a second.

[581] But I live so close to you.

[582] If I had a real arm, I could hit your house with my house with a baseball.

[583] But I can't.

[584] I can't really throw very far.

[585] But if I was like Dwight Evans and it was 1977, I could totally hit your house.

[586] You could rooster at all.

[587] Exactly.

[588] And so you live very close by.

[589] Yeah.

[590] First of all, I want to share one story where, you know, we live in this nice area, and it's L .A. where people don't, they don't go up and bang on each other's doors.

[591] No one does anything like that.

[592] And one day I'm watching, I think I was watching a Patriots game.

[593] And there's really no one around.

[594] My kids are upstairs, but my wife is gone.

[595] And all of a sudden, my buzzer starts going, and I was going crazy.

[596] And I, and so I open up the front door.

[597] And from beyond, they, the gate, I hear, Cody!

[598] Cody!

[599] And this is like, there are celebrity buses that go by that are looking for celebrities.

[600] And Adam Sandler is in front of my house with his two kids, and he's like, Cody!

[601] Cody!

[602] And I opened the door and he goes like, hey, hey, buddy, hey buddy, how I?

[603] And this is the thing, you say, hey, buddy to everybody.

[604] And what I've noticed is that I've seen you, because our kids go to the same school.

[605] I've seen you with five -year -olds, five -year -old girls.

[606] Adam Sandler will walk up to an old man and go, hey, your buddy.

[607] And you're And then he'll walk up to a five -year -old girl and go, hey you buddy, you're looking good.

[608] Love you.

[609] Love you, buddy.

[610] And the kid just looks up like, what?

[611] Hey, yeah, buddy.

[612] You're doing great.

[613] Good to see you.

[614] A fetus could just be born.

[615] Hey, hey, buddy.

[616] Good to see you, buddy.

[617] How are you, buddy?

[618] So you're outside my house and you're yelling and you've got your two kids and you're like, hey, we're coming in.

[619] You come push past me. You come in.

[620] Your kids go right upstairs to play with my kids because they all get along.

[621] And you're like, what's going on, buddy?

[622] And I say, well, come on, sit down for a second.

[623] And you go like, I can't stay long, I can't stay long.

[624] You just came in.

[625] So I get you to sit down.

[626] I hand you a soda.

[627] We're there watching a football game for maybe five minutes.

[628] And then you're like, ah, kids, kids, we got to get out of here.

[629] We got to get out of here.

[630] And so you get your kids down.

[631] Your kids come running downstairs.

[632] And their kids are like, Daddy, Daddy.

[633] And he goes, I know when we're not welcome.

[634] That's one of the funniest things.

[635] I think the whole running time was seven minutes.

[636] I know when we're not welcome.

[637] And then I hear you, and then yelling and then up the street.

[638] Absolutely hilarious.

[639] I go by your house.

[640] Every time I go by your house, we go bike riding in the neighborhood, every time I pass your house, I just go, oh, my kids laugh every time.

[641] You've been in, I've been in, like, school assemblies where the parents are there and the kids are there.

[642] And I don't even know, like, Adam's sitting way in the, I don't even know he's there.

[643] And then they'll say something like, oh, we're also looking for a volunteer.

[644] who can come on Pancake Day on Saturday, and then I'll hear a voice in the back go, Hey, it's Conan!

[645] We do that stuff in front of like 800 parents.

[646] We're done with that.

[647] No more elementary school together.

[648] I know.

[649] That hurts.

[650] I know.

[651] But it's still, I'm not allowed to say it's the best.

[652] You say everything's the best.

[653] Nah, it's the best, buddy.

[654] You also, you will show up, regardless of the event, it could be a funeral for a president.

[655] Yeah.

[656] And you will show up wearing basketball shorts.

[657] Yes.

[658] Giant balloon sneakers, a mismatched a t -shirt and a balloon, you know, vest of some kind, you know, puffy vest.

[659] Yeah, yeah.

[660] And a hat on sideways.

[661] What's going on there?

[662] It's all about being comfortable.

[663] I think it stems from my mother making me dress nicer as a kid and I hated it and I was itchy.

[664] I think it's all from not wanting to be itchy.

[665] Because, you know, I, you're, no one, you're always, you're always well.

[666] welcome that way at my home.

[667] I just sometimes I think that if you were, say someday you won the Nobel Peace Prize for comedy and you were brought to Oslo and you got up on stage and all the people there were wearing like, you know, and you would be wearing a Lakers jersey or something, you know.

[668] I'm doing better.

[669] I think I'm trying to dress better on occasion.

[670] I did that.

[671] Meyerowitz, we went to Cannes and I wore a tight suit and I was in a bad mood, but I wore it.

[672] You were in a bad mood?

[673] Well, yes, but it was fun, but I don't love being in a suit.

[674] You can handle it every night.

[675] You don't like it, do you?

[676] Yeah, I'm not going to wear a suit anymore.

[677] When we come back in January, I'm not going to wear a suit.

[678] Really?

[679] Yeah, I mean, I'll dress nicely, but I'm not going to wear a suit.

[680] That's cool.

[681] I'm just like, no, I can't do it anymore.

[682] Are you going to do monologues up front?

[683] Not, I can't do long ones because they've got less time, which I actually like.

[684] The whole theory is give myself less time and I might get better.

[685] I got to try something to shake it up.

[686] great 25 years so um so just kind of sitting down and i think we're gonna well no it there's gonna be comedy up front i got to do comedy right you know but uh i i i i can't i don't want to come out and stand there in a suit right right right say oh trump right you know you hear what his acting director of foreign affairs said today i mean it's i don't want to do it so we got plenty of people doing that yeah no one needs me doing that well you've done it i'll make balloon animals or something well i'm looking forward to it with Conan.

[687] But you're going to have one guest?

[688] Just one guest.

[689] It's going to be great.

[690] Yeah.

[691] It's going to be Tuesdays it's you.

[692] It's going to affect your career a little bit.

[693] You can't travel.

[694] You've got to come in.

[695] You've got to come in.

[696] You've got to just, you know.

[697] Yeah.

[698] So what do you think?

[699] We can be happy?

[700] Can we be happy?

[701] That's the question is, can we be happy?

[702] We are happy.

[703] We are very happy, me and you.

[704] And we have a good time.

[705] We like our families.

[706] We like that we got to do this so long.

[707] I think we don't feel like we accomplished it all yet.

[708] Maybe there's more for us to say and do, and that's why we keep doing it.

[709] I have known this guy for, Jesus, I'm not even going to say how many years, because it's frightening.

[710] I think it's 30, buddy.

[711] I think it's 30 years, and you are an exceptionally, the easy thing to say about you is that people know is you're very talented and you're very hardworking, but you are an exceptionally loyal and nice person.

[712] Do yourself a favor.

[713] I howled out loud to the point where I was asked to shut up when I was watching Adams Netflix special.

[714] It's really unique.

[715] It's a great approach.

[716] And what can I say?

[717] It's just pure entertainment the whole time.

[718] And I'm really happy for you.

[719] I love you.

[720] Thanks for the all icon.

[721] And you too.

[722] You're the man. Yeah.

[723] I'm going to cut out all this stuff.

[724] just said and then we're going to have you just say you to man and we're going to repeat it on a loop and you're going to sound like an idiot all right i'm sandler everybody who you're the man who you're the man who you demand who you demand who you demand who you're the man who you're the man who you and now it's time for a segment called coner o 'brien pays off the mortgage on his beach house okay now it's time for a segment sona does not like called true or false with sonam obsessive.

[725] Sona, many of the arguments that we have in real life revolve around your memory or lack of memory.

[726] Is that true?

[727] I would say that's accurate.

[728] What do you think happens?

[729] I think that you ask me to do something and then on my way to do it I get distracted by a friend or something else and then I just completely forget to do what you asked me to do.

[730] It's incredible because I've seen it happen, there was a time on the tour we just did where I really needed a banana and they were on the other side of the room.

[731] And I remembered saying they were on the other side of the room near where you were.

[732] And I said, could you grab me that banana?

[733] And you said, no problem.

[734] You started to walk towards where the banana was.

[735] And on the way, you started talking to other people that were in the room.

[736] And then you went and sat down and didn't get the banana.

[737] And the people that were sitting with me were astounded.

[738] They were astounded.

[739] And they were astounded.

[740] And I looked at you and you were saying, what are you looking at me for, dude?

[741] And I wasn't even mad.

[742] I was more just...

[743] I didn't say that.

[744] What did you say?

[745] You always make me sound like a, like a dude, what?

[746] Oh, come on.

[747] Forget you.

[748] I forgot it.

[749] That's not what I do.

[750] I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.

[751] I forgot it.

[752] And then you get mad at me. But how do you forget from going from one end of the room to the other?

[753] Because I got caught up in conversation and it's a banana.

[754] Who cares about a banana?

[755] But the thing is, it's so funny.

[756] I wasn't even that mad.

[757] I was more...

[758] I was more scared for you.

[759] Okay.

[760] I really did.

[761] I was in that moment, I thought we have to get you a cat scan.

[762] Oh, okay.

[763] No, I did.

[764] From a medical point of view, I consider myself a doctor, my knowledge of medicine.

[765] My dad's a doctor, so that makes me a doctor, just from being around him.

[766] I was just concerned for you.

[767] Wait, that's, first of all, that's not true.

[768] It doesn't matter what I say to you because you'll forget soon anyway.

[769] Come on.

[770] We have to be a good laugh.

[771] Oh, wait, only I'm laughing.

[772] The problem is, is that when I forget to do something and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to do it that's not enough for you you're like I want you to feel bad for not getting me that banana and then when I just kind of am like I forgot to do it for you you're like how can you just you basically have this like how can you just sit there and just act like I don't know how you can live when you know that you didn't get me that banana how can you continue to live you've got to live with that the rest of your life I do I never feel as bad about it as you want me to feel.

[773] And I think that upsets you because you feel bad about a lot of things.

[774] I think if I had, let's say I needed insulin to stay alive.

[775] Okay.

[776] And I was dying and I asked you to get my insulin the other side of the room, but you stopped halfway through because there was an episode of, you tell me. It's always sunny in Philadelphia?

[777] Yeah.

[778] And you started watching that and I didn't get it.

[779] And then I went into shock and then I passed away.

[780] You'd be at the funeral like, oh, oh, he didn't get his insulin.

[781] Boohoo.

[782] TV show host didn't get his insulin.

[783] That's not what I would do.

[784] That was probably an extreme example.

[785] Yeah, I would say so.

[786] You dying compared to you just eating a banana?

[787] Oh, that was a good banana though.

[788] God.

[789] Well, you ended up getting up and getting it.

[790] I went and got myself.

[791] No, it was good.

[792] I learned.

[793] You ended up with a banana.

[794] You know it was great.

[795] I learned that I can go get a banana by myself.

[796] Good.

[797] That was a teaching moment.

[798] That's what I wanted to do.

[799] That's why I didn't get you a banana.

[800] I wanted to teach you that you could be self -sufficient.

[801] and getting your own fruit.

[802] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend with Sonam O 'Sessian and Conan O 'Brien as himself.

[803] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

[804] Executive produced by Adam Sacks and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf.

[805] Special thanks to Jack White and the White Stripes for the theme song.

[806] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[807] You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review featured on a future episode, Got a question for Conan?

[808] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.

[809] It too could be featured on a future episode.

[810] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[811] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.