#333 - David Lee Roth

[0] Joe Rogan podcast Check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night All day Two things I don't like One I don't like I don't like you fucking with Nick Diaz's voice You gotta stop doing that Stop doing that I was gonna say Is that a remix or is that a Electro typo Digital Cyber something You gotta stop doing that Actually I thought you're doing Number two You gotta bring back the English voice I missed that chick Oh Did you have a chick With a British accent?

[1] It was a robot chick With a British accent Oh, that's kind of kinky A robot chick With a British accent I like that Nothing about it man And was it another chick Pretending to be a British chick But sounding like a robot Something along those lines It's like I think I know her Oh that one That one David Lee Roth Ladies and gentlemen Yes So we've started off talking about Girls with No Last Names And I have three Yeah How did you pull that off?

[2] Is that a real name?

[3] David Lee Ross, your real name?

[4] That is my real name.

[5] That's the way to rock it, right?

[6] Make it to superstar status on your real name.

[7] Well, I started using the middle name because I thought it sounded more like Southern, which it kind of does.

[8] Right.

[9] Why Southern?

[10] Why would you want to sound more Southern?

[11] I don't know.

[12] Would you get a Leonard Skinner fans?

[13] Well, yeah, see, there you go.

[14] Who would ever thought that Leonard Skinner would be a name?

[15] That's like a Baltic, Euros.

[16] would be a Mr. Skinner.

[17] That's like a Mr. Giebler or something.

[18] Well, how about Van Halen?

[19] Van Halen's a pretty odd name for a band as well.

[20] It was my idea, too.

[21] Was it really?

[22] I said on the heels of like Santana.

[23] Right.

[24] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[25] It sounds kind of dramatic.

[26] Maybe it's the name of a sailing ship or the name of a sailing captain or the name of the wind.

[27] That's what I always thought Santana was.

[28] Yeah.

[29] It's the name of the guitar player, but you say it the same.

[30] And much like Leonard Skinner, all it has to do is be awesome.

[31] It doesn't really matter what the name you call it is.

[32] Skinner proved that, right?

[33] Well, maybe they proved that the more colorful it is, like Schwarzenegger.

[34] Whoever thought that, if you saw that in print, you know, originally an old Hollywood styro, you would look and go, no way.

[35] But maybe that's part of the reason it's so well known.

[36] I wonder how many people Arnold Schwarzenegger called up and was like, see, I told you, you didn't know shit.

[37] You fuck with my life and you don't know shit.

[38] I would have been one who would have thought.

[39] No, you can't go with that long last name, you know?

[40] You can, though.

[41] Like, even the way Skinnerd spelled their name was like L -Y -N -R -D, S -K -Y, N -R -D, you know.

[42] I want to, you got to get like a name like a verb, like Scher or Sting, Usher.

[43] But Skinner pulled it off.

[44] You can pull it off.

[45] It's not the right way to do it, but you can just make a fucking goofy spelling or something, and it actually can work.

[46] There's what's always names like Engelbert Humperdink.

[47] Right.

[48] Are you anybody else in this room old enough to remember that name?

[49] He was a bit, he was like a lounge singer, kind of, you know, in the, I did it my way.

[50] Yeah, I remember.

[51] I can't where, I think it's a real name, too.

[52] Where did you guys start out?

[53] What state did you guys start out?

[54] Oh, we started off in the usual state of confusion, but really mostly down the street bicycle distance.

[55] Good question, because it is only bicycle distance in Pasadena.

[56] And coming out of high school, you know, it was time, you know, it was time, you know, You're playing backyard parties and the occasional wedding and whatnot because you're not quite old enough to play in the bars.

[57] And when Van Halen was playing in the bars around here, nobody had any money for a sound system.

[58] We don't blink now when you see some big boom speakers, you know, in the corners and there's a guy with their, you know, he's got his own, well, now you can take your iPod plug it in.

[59] But, you know, a couple of turntables and some people with some cool head gear.

[60] We don't blink when we see that.

[61] but coming up all the way up until the late 70s nobody had that you had to have a live band and we played 5 45 minutes sets a night usually 5 and 6 nights a week at ever this could have been a club right here right this right here could have easily done it as long as a stage meant something that you tripped your toe over sometimes it was just marked off and you know well the stage used to be there so technically it's always there or or this The stage is in your heart, son.

[62] So you would like basically perform on a dance floor or an auditorium floor?

[63] Many, many times, face to face with the rest of the human race.

[64] And we got used to doing that at parties, backyard parties, where we would rent the light, you know, would pull up one of the cars and get a little mini -truperette spotlight for 55 bucks for the weekend and put it up on top of the gardening shack or the room that, you know, when somebody has a swimming pool, you got to have the little.

[65] shed that all the pool equipment fits in.

[66] Well, that's perfect for putting somebody up there.

[67] It's like out of a movie, you know, a rock and roll movie.

[68] But you put the, you know, character up there and give him enough six -pack, you know, that he stays up there for the whole show, but he gets progressively drunker.

[69] Or he brings his girlfriends up there and then the roof caves in.

[70] Are you guys writing this down?

[71] You got to write this down.

[72] We've got a recording.

[73] We're recording the whole thing.

[74] We'll go back later with the translator.

[75] It'll take notes Check it for veracity Yeah So around Pasadena, huh?

[76] Yep Wow There's a lot of great bands Came from California It's funny how like you see states In some states Like great bands will blossom out of And then you see there's a ton of states Where you hardly ever see any bands come from I'm going to wonder if it's because Of where showbiz is located Because the opportunities are always here Whether you're trying to play television Or get into the movie movies, singing and dancing in the background, or you want to be in rock and roll, you know.

[77] Well, you've got to be discovered by the record company, you know, for 20, 30, 40 years.

[78] It was that.

[79] Now, maybe it's another method.

[80] Maybe now you email back and forth and, you know, you're intercepted somehow.

[81] And now it probably is a novelty to not being from Hollywood.

[82] It's probably a novelty, these buys are badass and they live in South Dakota.

[83] Like, whoa.

[84] They live in a place that's not.

[85] fucking sucks and they're awesome that might be the band you know they might be Utah yeah they're from Utah they love Utah they're Mormons yeah have a guitar they were raised Mormon they technically they still wear the underwear but they're confused confused underwear I think that's their name but the band is badass all that strife and confusion it's in their music man you always want something from far away the rarity right you know if it comes from out on the tundra somewhere you know you told us before the show that you've been living in Tokyo for the last 10 months yeah maybe a little bit longer actually now how did that come about well uh like all like all the best wandering stories it started out a bit unexpectedly we were going to play in the van halen band and um uh ed took sick and we had to postpone everything and uh i was already going to show up a month or too early kind of get my feet well I'd see what it's like being there as opposed to just visiting.

[86] If you go for a week or two or three, okay, you know, you can eat pretty much whatever you want and you don't really have a legit schedule that you're keeping every day.

[87] You're probably not shopping for yourself.

[88] You're probably not cooking for yourself and that kind of thing.

[89] Right.

[90] And once Ed took sick, I said, you know what?

[91] I'm going to stick with the schedule.

[92] And I'm going to get there a few months early for the gig that didn't happen.

[93] And how long is it going to be before, you know, he's feeling.

[94] well and ready to play and they said oh about 10 and a half months I said well I'll be busting a groove in Nihongo then you know what is the what's his what's wrong with oh he had some stomach issues and some stomach ailments but he's healed up just fine and we're going to be playing in Australia coming up and that's a serious thing though something that takes you out for 10 and a half months like wow that's uh no he got he got well you're pretty astute there he got well a lot sooner but they couldn't position the gigs any closer.

[95] We have to make room for baseball season.

[96] I see.

[97] And a lot of seasons in Tokyo, as you know.

[98] So when you decide to just pack up and go to Tokyo, do you know people there?

[99] Are you traveling with people?

[100] Like, how'd you rock it?

[101] I didn't know anybody when I went there.

[102] I said, you know, classic old Jack London, you know, let's just sign up for something.

[103] Fuck, I love that you did that.

[104] You know, I'm going set up shop and I'll find it apartment and I'll use my smile like a ray gun there you see we're friends right away I learned right away how to say you know 15 self -effacing make fun of myself things because I'm you know in Japanese when I I knew Hong Kong guy ahead of days right away my Japanese is bad please excuse me and if I make the right funny face instantly anybody in any room exhales and goes okay he's not that dangerous Do you, did you try, like, to use Rosetta Stone?

[105] Like, how'd you, how'd you learn how to speak Japanese?

[106] No, I go to school a couple hours a day.

[107] I go every day over the week.

[108] Really?

[109] Yep.

[110] You go and take Japanese lessons.

[111] I do.

[112] And then I always wanted to, you know, just being around the martial arts, you know, you always think someday, wow, if I'm a kung fu, then someday I'm going to go to the temple and I'm going to fly through the air.

[113] And, you know, someday, if I'm in professional wrestling, then I'm, you know, if I'm going to, you know, I'm going to go to Vince, Vince's, McMayn's place, and I'm going to train, and I'm going to be called Diamond somebody, and I'll do that.

[114] And if I throw the ball, I'm going to go to the NFL.

[115] So your idea was just like, fuck it, I'm just going to live in Japan for a while.

[116] Yeah, I've always wanted to go to Japan and train with that sword, you know, and learn it from the real guys, the real people.

[117] So was the idea that you were going to do an extended tour in Japan?

[118] Is that what the idea was?

[119] Extended in Japan means to weird.

[120] weeks.

[121] It was only two weeks.

[122] Yeah, we live in an iPod society now.

[123] Everything is kind of condensed.

[124] Kosheret means, but it actually means crushed.

[125] And everything's kind of condensed there.

[126] So when you go to Japan just touring, you're like racehorse.

[127] And I admit it, hey, when it's time for a touring, you want the very best show out of me possible.

[128] So that's eat sleep race win.

[129] Eat sleep race win.

[130] And what you're going to see through the window is, come on, think if you were going to be in the Olympics and you had two weeks to do it, would you be going out to eat at night?

[131] No. Would you be going to the movies and out dancing and carrying on?

[132] You're there for two weeks for the Olympics.

[133] So when we play with the band, then, you know, you really kind of get your face, you know, stay very focused there.

[134] But I actually go back and live somewhere.

[135] I actually will return and go and, you know, spend, we say 18 months.

[136] That's kind of metric for a year and a half, two years, if we're really, you know, having a decent time of it there.

[137] And I don't require much at all.

[138] You know, the size of my apartment is probably as big as that little coffee room back there.

[139] Really?

[140] Oh, yeah.

[141] You know, I grew up around National Geographic magazine.

[142] You know, there's the guy sitting in the back of the boat, you know, and he's going around the world, and he can reach everything.

[143] It's like at the desk right here, like in the brine, everybody.

[144] You know, everybody's surrounded by gear and stuff, and you only have to kind of stretch a little bit to reach everything.

[145] There's the coffee cup.

[146] There's the tiller.

[147] I don't know what a tiller is, but you can reach you.

[148] And over here is the electro compass.

[149] And over here's the camera.

[150] And I always kind of dug that.

[151] Tour buses are the same thing.

[152] So you like just living in this small apartment, it's like you're going back to your roots.

[153] You're like roughing it almost.

[154] Oh, yeah.

[155] You bet.

[156] And my teachers are very unforgiving, you know, they're very, you know, what he called?

[157] Do they have any idea who you are?

[158] Oh, sure.

[159] Kiyoshi and no, Tanda, uh, nohoto.

[160] Nice try.

[161] What did you just look at?

[162] Hot for teacher.

[163] What is that?

[164] What is that?

[165] It's from gangster movies.

[166] It means who do you think you're talking about?

[167] Do you still train in martial arts?

[168] Yes.

[169] Well, that's part of the reason I'm there, is I train in kynjitsu.

[170] I do the long sword, the katana, you know, the summary sword.

[171] And I have a teacher there that I go to three times a week.

[172] And I've got to do the homework.

[173] And it's, you know, I've worked my way up to that.

[174] At the end of the last Van Heel and tour, I was in the shape of my life, or as best as shape as my old.

[175] life will now allow and uh i said wow i can keep up with pretty much anybody at this point let's not waste it and i went uh you know ed took ill and uh i just i said yeah i'll still come and i'm gonna move in and uh i got going so you you train like sword fighting you put you put yes that's part of it is it similar to kendo like where you you whack each other with fake swords yep we have that We have, use real swords, use these steel swords for doing forms and fast draw, you know, slow draw.

[176] A lot of times what you see in Yaido, which is a, it's kind of a kata, it's slow.

[177] Think of it like Tai Chi, for those of you who are listening to this, who are unfamiliar with it.

[178] But you do it with swords.

[179] Fast draw is exactly what it says it is.

[180] It's, you know, keep the art form alive.

[181] It's all the same stuff that you would do with a billy club.

[182] It's all the same stuff you would do with one of those.

[183] Are you preparing for the apocalypse?

[184] I am, actually.

[185] When people run out of bullets and you have to samurai sword, the fuck out of people?

[186] Well, I'll be teaching people how to do that.

[187] That's what you do when the apocalypse hits?

[188] Well, I'll be accredited by then.

[189] We'll go to the Diamond Dave Camp.

[190] Diamond Dave Camp for survival and dark days.

[191] It's a good name for it.

[192] Are you concerned with the food?

[193] I would wear that shirt, actually.

[194] It's not a bad idea.

[195] Somebody printed.

[196] Are you concerned with the food toxins and stuff like that in Japan?

[197] Like the, you know, the nuclear shit that's going on with the earthquake?

[198] Of course I am.

[199] And I am super consumed with that everywhere I go.

[200] The only rationalization that I can use, and I do use the rationalization, is that I gave up a lot of my personal rights, just me, Dave Roth, personal rights to complain about 1 ,200 ,000 Marlborough cigarettes ago.

[201] Right.

[202] And that about 780 ,000 gallons of Schlitz malt liquor, the bowl that came in the tall can.

[203] Schlitz is your shit?

[204] The blue and yellow blue and white and white can.

[205] About 12 ,000 cans at that ago, I gave up a lot of my rights to whine about what I'm ingested.

[206] Do you still smoke?

[207] Occasionally.

[208] Yeah.

[209] Well, you get that that very, That baritone.

[210] Is that what you help you?

[211] Well, that's the justification?

[212] That's why I do it.

[213] I do it for the fame.

[214] I do it for the kids.

[215] I smoke for the kids.

[216] Let them know it's still hit.

[217] How many do you do a day?

[218] Maybe two.

[219] Two a day?

[220] And I'm, I got to pull the plug on that.

[221] It's hard.

[222] I've watched this guy.

[223] I've watched him struggle.

[224] He quit once and then went back on it because his cat hurt its foot.

[225] and you stressed over the cat he's like that's it I can't take the shit anymore Where's a cigarette?

[226] Oh my poor kitty She's kind of lipping a little And you had like a moment right Well there was other things around it It just was the breaking point Was when my cat injured itself The breaking point My fiance left me and all this other shit at the same time These are cathartic like psychoanalytical clinical moment noise triggers that you're associating with things that are not that big right exactly you get into the root of the problem Dave preach I'm just talking cigarettes I know I went like they used to say to me I don't know what's wrong with you I'm sure it's hard to smell have you ever tried electronic cigarettes electronic cigarettes what do they do you never seen it it's this right here look like a cigarette.

[227] Even it comes with something.

[228] And it gives you the tobacco, but mist comes out.

[229] There's no smoke, and it's not bad for you long.

[230] Check this out.

[231] Watch this.

[232] I see.

[233] Yeah.

[234] And it's just the nicotine.

[235] Gives you the fix.

[236] And you can smoke anywhere.

[237] Yeah.

[238] Haven't you seen this TV?

[239] Doof commercial?

[240] No, I'm familiar with this to some degree, but there's not a lot like lap dancing.

[241] Jimmy, can you tighten his thing?

[242] This is moving around on day.

[243] Is it like lap dance?

[244] No, it's definitely different.

[245] It's, um, the, the idea behind it is, it gives you all the nicotine, but you're not smoking any burning chemicals.

[246] It's like a vaporizer that delivers nicotine.

[247] Okay, well, I'm not going to make fun of nicotine because if you look back in all of our favorite authors and all of our favorite jazz musicians and a whole lot of other folks involved, nicotine plays a huge part in what they did.

[248] Sigmund Freud used to smoke what two boxes of cigars a day Mark Twain yeah same thing Yeah the list is long Winston Churchill two boxes a day yeah there was uh well I forget what intellectual Very famous guy Englishman uh he would he wouldn't fly unless he can get a seat in the back so he could smoke his pipe like back that was back in the day when you were allowed to smoke on cigarettes I'm going to wonder what the main connection is.

[249] There's a big connection between nicotine and people who are the real cerebral players of our culture.

[250] Because it relaxes you, you know, you're not.

[251] Well, it's a good, it's not bad.

[252] The real issue with nicotine is the delivery method.

[253] Where it's really toxic is in all the different chemicals that our lovely government has allowed cigarette companies to put into these fucking things to make them more addiction.

[254] That was the Russell Crowe movie.

[255] Insider.

[256] Did you ever see that movie?

[257] Great movie.

[258] Russell Crow plays a scientist who works for the tobacco companies who's formulated in various chemicals that make you addicted to cigarettes.

[259] Your addiction to cigarettes is so intense and so extreme because they've allowed the cigarette companies to engineer their cigarettes to have the maximum amount of addiction.

[260] It plays on several key factors in your biological system.

[261] And it was all detailed in the this movie.

[262] So it's not the cigarettes.

[263] It's not the tobacco, rather.

[264] It's all the other shit.

[265] It's 590 different chemicals.

[266] It's not just tobacco.

[267] Like if you buy like American spirits, that's just tobacco, right?

[268] Yeah, that's just tobacco.

[269] Or if you buy your, that stuff where you roll your own, that's actually tobacco.

[270] It's supposedly way better for you.

[271] The real issue is all the other shit in it.

[272] It's never going to be great for you.

[273] You're smoking, burning plant matter, but it's definitely way better.

[274] But you know what?

[275] Japanese energy.

[276] drinks have nicotine in them are you serious yeah i had uh one of the translators uh relate that to me because i was i had one that was like really mean looking and it made me feel mean i was like you know i was yelling at people and i was angry at inanimate objects and stuff and accusatory you know and this kind of thing and uh i thought wow this is great i wonder if i can get this in the states so that's a good idea that's hilarious it's a start We shouldn't bring that out.

[277] Yeah, why don't?

[278] Well, it's probably illegal.

[279] It probably wouldn't allow them.

[280] Yeah, and I had her translate, and I wonder, can you put nicotine in drinks here?

[281] You must be able to do it.

[282] Well, you could get nicotine gum and just chew that shit.

[283] I know a lot of writers actually advocate that.

[284] For people who aren't even addicted to nicotine, not for trying to kick it, just for a stimulant for the mind.

[285] Yeah.

[286] Yeah.

[287] That's kind of in a circular way what we were just starting to talk about there.

[288] Yeah, yeah, cigars, too.

[289] I love like a cigar buzz.

[290] Cigar buzz is a great buzz.

[291] And there's a connection to world power there, see?

[292] Probably, right?

[293] Although, I mean, all those guys, and they're done killing and fucking dropping bombs on people that are big fat cigar.

[294] Exactly.

[295] Pulled an option.

[296] And I don't think any of my favorite jazz music could have been made or composed or played in a smoke -free environment.

[297] Yeah, well, you came from a time where clubs like the nightclubs were all smoke -filled, right?

[298] Completely smoke -filled.

[299] And every movie was smoke -filled.

[300] well yeah yeah look at all the old black and white movies it's astonishing how much tobacco is consumed james bond movies are particularly specifically why i smoke there's nothing weirded though than going back and watching those tv shows where a doctor is talking to a patient while smoking a cigarette have you ever seen that that is a trip that's one of the weirdest things you could ever see in your life but those 1950 shows that was fairly common like the doctors you'd be reviewing your chart with a cigarette people didn't know no they really didn't that's amazing isn't it how could you not know does james bond smoke now you know it's so funny i watched uh skyfall today does he i don't remember him having i don't think he does anymore he drinks and fuck still though thank god for that we're pusifying all of our fucking heroes man well sean connery was smoking rothman's king size and in goldfinger and that's where i saw it and i'm you know that's i went out and i got a pack Rothman's king size, you know, the blue ones.

[301] Mine was from watching you.

[302] That's how I started.

[303] Well, what brand did you start smoking?

[304] I got it from watching you.

[305] Lucky Strike unfiltered.

[306] No, really, that's a, you know, that's a telling thing, man. You know, when somebody says they were a Dave Roth fan or a Van Halen fan more appropriately, it says a lot about your sense of humor and your fighting spirit.

[307] They might love for strippers.

[308] That's fighting spirit.

[309] Let's keep it alive.

[310] That's part, that subgroup A. What is the name of this nicotine beverage?

[311] Do you remember?

[312] Does it have an American name?

[313] I think it's in a lot of them.

[314] Anything that has an exclamation point or a black label on the front of it.

[315] You guys have been to Tokyo.

[316] You've been to Japan.

[317] What was your experience?

[318] Just shopping for the easy, like chewing gum.

[319] Did you, what, did you try any of that?

[320] No, we, we were only there for a couple days, but we did.

[321] And what was your experience?

[322] It was really easy.

[323] You just, because they all barely knew a little bit, enough English that, that you could just go in, like, hi, how are you doing?

[324] And then they tell you how much.

[325] It was easy to do that.

[326] It was hard for me to find certain things like, like, you know, like soapies or, like, hotels and stuff like that.

[327] Like, I got lost on foot trying to find my way back to the hotel, and, you know, it was impossible for me to do that.

[328] So I had to go to one of those little police stations that are on every corner, and he had to draw me a map, and it was weird.

[329] Not unusual.

[330] Not unusual.

[331] It's like going to Jupiter.

[332] People say, you know, okay, there is a lot of English spoken, but you know what?

[333] It's like learning Spanish in the school system.

[334] It really is like an alien world.

[335] When you go to Tokyo, it really is.

[336] The culture is so different.

[337] It's so different.

[338] Everything is different.

[339] Virtually everything.

[340] Just shopping for dental floss is a whole different thing.

[341] And the way that you approach people, you know, back and forth, the respect issue, you know, even though it may just be sugarcoating, a really sharp New York City sense of business and purpose, you know, underneath all of the old -fashioned, heighten those all, you know, and so forth is every bit is savvy, right?

[342] Every modern cop thriller that's on the movie screens today is, you know, is right behind that guy's sunglasses.

[343] You know, there's modernists can possibly be there, so.

[344] Yeah, but that sense of tradition still stays.

[345] Woo!

[346] It's very, very strong and important.

[347] You do take your shoes off.

[348] Yeah.

[349] When you walk into a person's place or when you walk into a decent restaurant or whatever, you do take your shoes off.

[350] And there are a lot of little, uh, things you have to learn like that.

[351] A lot of little peas and cues.

[352] You bet.

[353] Now, do you, are you living with people that you're friends with from back home or you just go by yourself?

[354] No, no. Just totally wet solo.

[355] Yeah, my dog.

[356] Wow.

[357] You put the dog in, like, a ship for, like...

[358] Yeah, there's a way.

[359] You ship him around, and he goes through the European way so that he doesn't have to do 14 hours, you know, in a row there.

[360] But people do it all the time.

[361] Wow.

[362] And there's not a lot of Geising, which is, you know, for Japanese for foreigner.

[363] There's not a lot of Geising faces there, which I enjoy.

[364] I ride my bicycle everywhere.

[365] Wow.

[366] I'm up and down, you know, I'm, like in New York City, I'm kind of uptown as well as the downtown, you know, look at the parking lot for a Van Healing gig.

[367] You've got a Mercedes -Benz park next to a Harley -Davidson and nobody blinks.

[368] Wow, I think that would be such a trip.

[369] You know, that same audience is, you know, are the neighborhoods that I'm forwarded at.

[370] access to you follow what kind of a neighborhood do you live in in Tokyo like what do you uh oh I live in a pretty classic little place it's a apartment building everything's vertical vertical communities there and I live up over a shopping mall that has a 24 hour uh grocery store underneath all right and that's in the basement you follow right and then uh there's uh restaurants and shopping, and then all the coffee shops and everything that we have here.

[371] It's really international where I am.

[372] Just 10 minutes away by bicycle is way downtown, and that looks like the Star Wars, you know, the bar scene.

[373] Right.

[374] Where everybody's kind of mixing and matching, you know, 15 different styles of, you know, one person, you know, outer space meets surf, 1970s.

[375] Times, Ninja Warrior, times Dreadlock Holiday meets.

[376] You know, they go on and on because they don't have neighborhoods.

[377] Right.

[378] They're just picking and choosing from, you know, different stores, from different websites.

[379] You know, they don't have neighborhoods.

[380] Like here we have, say, North Hollywood for the artists.

[381] You have Silver Lake for if you're an artist or whatever.

[382] If you are up -and -coming student in some sense of the word, you'll stand down.

[383] or USC or whatever.

[384] They don't have places like that.

[385] Well, no, everybody's kind of mish -mashed together.

[386] So you're not, you can be even more creative.

[387] It's not like you're growing up around a whole group of people who are all doing the same thing you're doing.

[388] You kind of create yourself in the mirror differently every single day.

[389] Now, did you find it hard to make friends there to, like, have people to have conversations with in English?

[390] I mean, that I would think that that would wear on me after a while.

[391] Well, yeah, but I don't do a lot of listening anyway.

[392] That's cool.

[393] Just talk to people that barely speak English and rattle off at him.

[394] Oh, yeah.

[395] Past tense, who needs it, really?

[396] That's hilarious.

[397] So as I learn, you know.

[398] It's almost kind of a hermit -like existence in a certain sense.

[399] You can't have it be that very, very easily.

[400] I like it because I'm in constant contact with people.

[401] I do class with a variety of different teachers, and out of that comes my friends, and this is where we're going to go tonight, and, you know, why don't you come visit over here, et cetera, you know?

[402] And that being said, conversation with folks is as fast as you can learn it off of, from their language teacher.

[403] Japanese is heavy lifting.

[404] I've learned pretty fair in Spanish.

[405] You know, I can get us in trouble and halfway out in Spanish, you know, under duress, under spotlights.

[406] But in Japanese, well, I can get everything done that I need to do.

[407] I can get shop and done.

[408] I can go down to the dry cleaning.

[409] I can do the taxi.

[410] I can, you know, get my way through the movies and the restaurant.

[411] So you're fairly fluent, though.

[412] Enough that I can translate for me. I'm not quite at the point where I can translate.

[413] Can you translate for you if you're watching something on television?

[414] Yeah, well, I can tell you the story.

[415] I can tell you the plot line of what's going on and who's doing what and what each guy is and what he represents.

[416] When you're watching that, is it like an instantaneous thing or is it like translating after you hear something?

[417] Like are you like recognizing what he's saying?

[418] Like are you thinking about it in Japanese if that makes sense?

[419] It's kind of like listening to somebody who is your own age that you know is a compulsive.

[420] liar so you're trying to pick out exact words that that may or may not make sense you turn to your friend and go okay Bobby what happened well there's somebody who's the last night late late okay and you print that one more a one of these two checks and there's two checks and you print that word and he goes to six pack of beer and you print that word And now you're getting the real story and you're comprising it of all of the other white noise that your friend Bobby may be discerning, you know, dispensing.

[421] That's where I'm at in Japanese television now.

[422] If I'm watching a sitcom or if I'm watching a movie, then I can tell you what's going on and who's saying what to who, but I can't get it exactly, you know, word for word, what's going there?

[423] Are you doing some sort of a web show from there?

[424] I've been doing the Roth show for the last three, four months.

[425] I think we're on our 10th show.

[426] And we finally just started talking about it.

[427] That's part of the reason that I'm coming around through the pass here.

[428] I love broadcasting.

[429] I love just, you know, as we're doing now.

[430] Right.

[431] Shooting the shit on the air.

[432] Beautiful free.

[433] I miss that.

[434] Yeah.

[435] Well, what you can do now is probably so much freer than you could do when you were trying to, when you're doing terrestrial radio.

[436] When, you know, you did that for a while after Howard Stern, right?

[437] A while.

[438] He means four and a half months.

[439] It's a while.

[440] I mean.

[441] Yeah, that was a trial.

[442] That was heavy lifted.

[443] It was, I had said to them initially, you know, folks, let's try some new things here.

[444] You know, to just go back into the already set mode of, okay, you're going to need a traffic girl.

[445] you're going to need a sports block you're going to need you know morning team kind of approach I'm really not interested in doing that and I guess they thought I would get under the wing and then you know we would progressively reach that point and we never really got under the wing I love broadcasting I love talking but when I got fired and I can see I can see the look over here.

[446] You know, my general tone, when somebody said to me in Japan or said, Dave Sonso, you got fired from big job in radio.

[447] He said, would you ever get fired from, McDonald's?

[448] Was that like a sore spot for you when you got fired?

[449] No. No, are you kidding?

[450] Would you ever get fired from?

[451] You got to compare notes.

[452] Like in high school, dude, that's nothing.

[453] I got fired from.

[454] Burger King and McDonald's.

[455] No, their reasoning was that my humor was good, but it was not early morning humor.

[456] What does that even mean?

[457] Well, I just, you know, I was doodling around with, you know, adult concepts.

[458] My thoughts are to replace Stern like that, what they should have done is just with no explanation whatsoever put a Mexican show on.

[459] Full Spanish and not say a word, fuck you, who cares?

[460] This is what we have leave it on for a month and let everybody get all their complaining out of the way and then after a month you throw the diamond david lee raw show on and everybody's so happy to hear someone speak english again and they're like listen we got through this with this dark period turning into a crazy mexican station in new york city uh you're making clear sense it didn't make any sense to try to replace term my point is no one could have done it it was impossible.

[461] Even if your show was amazing, they would have never allowed you to replace Stern.

[462] You're replacing the greatest guy in the history of radio by far.

[463] So anyone who went on after him was sort of like a, you were a sacrifice.

[464] I looked to try and do something completely different.

[465] I had said to them, for example, after a life of danger and intrigue, why would I stop now?

[466] We can install IS lines in a hotel room.

[467] We can go up on a roof.

[468] We can go from a basement.

[469] I don't mind waking up at two in the morning and interviewing somebody who just finished his show in Las Vegas and, you know, etc. Why would we, why can't we at least start there?

[470] Yeah.

[471] And that was a big hurdle.

[472] So you're going to do things through Skype as well as do things for people that are in Tokyo if you.

[473] Yes, exactly.

[474] And I'm sure there's a lot of people in Tokyo as well, right?

[475] And broadcast from different recording studios because everybody's got super modern and everybody wants to be part of what's happening right now you know especially in the economy everybody understands a little more of that promotion you know get involved you might not make a penny right now but you got your face out there you got your name your brand your studio you're whatever so people are a lot more flexible to that and you know what we crashed in burn they just couldn't see it the idea of you know that i wasn't going to be in the exact same studio every morning that became a real trudge and you know getting up at uh 4 .30 in the morning that's bullshit that's the roughest job in all of show business especially for a rock star I mean most of your shows were at night you'd probably sleep till noon most days wake up feeling great to get up at four instead of that to get up eight hours earlier than that oh fuck stay awake the whole night well yeah you're you're backing into the truth it's not the getting up it's the having to go to bed at what time.

[476] The extra four hours, though.

[477] That's like some Buddhist stuff I just did right there.

[478] If it wasn't like that you had it be on for four hours, I would say you better off staying up.

[479] Yeah.

[480] You know?

[481] Or going to broadcast from Hawaii, guys.

[482] Yeah.

[483] You get yourself a suite at the Marriott something.

[484] Right.

[485] And I think you start at midnight or something like this.

[486] So, you know, you can kind of, you know, That's a good move.

[487] Balance out your thing.

[488] And you can do pre -taped stuff for half of it.

[489] Yeah, midnight from Hawaii.

[490] Dude, I just figured it all out.

[491] David Lee Roth, the new studio will now be on the big island.

[492] I'm going to buy Terrence McKenna's place, Cona.

[493] And you go high -speed, low -drag.

[494] You go with mobile and lethal, and so that you can put everything in some Pelican cases, you know.

[495] And then you can move and you get a...

[496] We need to buy Death Squad West West West.

[497] West West.

[498] This is Death Squad West West right now, but Desquod West West, West will be...

[499] You can get yourself with a balcony.

[500] You can tune the room so you can hear things outside.

[501] Dude, midnight, man. Come on.

[502] Let's go to Japan.

[503] Let's even go west or let's go.

[504] That's too west.

[505] We'll never get a show on the air that way.

[506] But traveling, though, that...

[507] Even if you hate, especially if you hate where you're...

[508] are going boo -hoo is way more fun and then going yay yeah so if you hate where you are so you had a particularly bad day of somewhere new was my thinking then it's it's part travel a there's part uh you get to a little bit of reality get to live the life of you know when we go on the road when we go and travel do you know what a great by the way what a great like travel channel type show it would be David Lee Roth living in Japan.

[509] Do you know how how many people would watch that?

[510] You know how badass that would be?

[511] It's pretty colorful.

[512] It's a fucking great idea for a show.

[513] Someone should jump on that.

[514] Would you do it?

[515] Would you do a show?

[516] Like showing people what it's like to live in Japan to be a superstar rock star all of a sudden living in Tokyo an apartment taking fucking sword fighting classes?

[517] I mean it's pretty awesome.

[518] Yeah.

[519] Actually.

[520] It's a lot better than fucking storage wars, you know, watching people bid on things.

[521] On fake thing.

[522] The fuck is that.

[523] Yeah.

[524] You know who my closest friend there, who's my, uh, Sempai, who's kind of my teacher and mentor there is, uh, Konyshki, the, uh, one of the greatest sumo fighters of all time.

[525] Wow.

[526] He was, if you get on the, uh, Google web here, you'll find him.

[527] Kaniski, Kanisiki, he was one of the first outsized Hawaiian to come in and start fighting.

[528] This was about 20 summers ago, and his fighting weight was 600 pounds.

[529] Jesus.

[530] Yeah, why do you see some pictures of it?

[531] He's a national hero.

[532] He does all kinds of ads for everything, you know, for airplanes and, you know, the 7 -Eleven and, you know, and kids stuff.

[533] He has his own show, a television show.

[534] Yeah, I remember hearing about him.

[535] There you go.

[536] How much does he weigh now that he's retired?

[537] Did he lose a lot of weight?

[538] Yeah, he looks like he's about 300.

[539] Wow.

[540] Yeah.

[541] Still a big giant dude.

[542] Oh, he's the winning his guy ever.

[543] He stayed when he first got on the plate.

[544] You know, these guys are never supposed to win, and he went 23 times in a row.

[545] How crazy is it that you could lose 300 pounds?

[546] I mean.

[547] How crazy is it that you could eat like that?

[548] That would be glorious, man. Can you imagine anything you want, basically?

[549] Well, they go for, like, that heaviest, most high cowards shit they can get in their bodies, right?

[550] Well, I, I, not only took me down to the tournament, okay, which is called the Basho, the huge tournament, which takes place in the sports arena.

[551] This is where we play, the rock and roll bands play.

[552] But we went to the gym where all the beginners are working.

[553] You follow?

[554] All of, all of these farm kids who were, like, in their early 20.

[555] It's think of it like special forces live together as a fraternity kind of a thing.

[556] And that's how these, they're called Rikshi, the wrestlers, start off on that.

[557] Even the referees start when they're 15, 16 years old.

[558] And we went and had what they eat.

[559] And you know what the trick is to gaining weight?

[560] If you really want to be three, four, five hundred pounds is don't eat breakfast.

[561] Oh.

[562] Don't eat breakfast.

[563] Really?

[564] Yep.

[565] Because your body after about three.

[566] three days we'll figure this out and it'll slow it's metabolism down so that when you finally do eat lunch you'll get real tired you got to take a nap and your body is working real slow you follow uh -huh so it doesn't burn the food uh it doesn't burn it off super quick and you'll gain weight a lot lot faster that's the ticket to growing up like a sumo player so they have a strategy to when they They have a strategy to slowing their metabolism down.

[567] Correct.

[568] They have like an anti -athlete strategy.

[569] That, well, yes.

[570] I've been on that diet my whole life, by the way.

[571] Yes, that's, no, that is their, that is their way.

[572] That is the technique.

[573] They don't eat until about 12 o 'clock.

[574] And then they eat about 10 ,000 calories in that one meal.

[575] And then they go to sleep.

[576] And then they wake up again, and then later on at dinner, about another 10 ,000 calorie meal.

[577] How much health repercussions do those guys suffer from?

[578] Huge.

[579] Huge.

[580] Yeah, you can't escape the cheeseburger, man. But that is the weight gain ticket.

[581] If you want to start gaining weight quickly, skip breakfast, wait until about noon.

[582] And then you can eat all that you want.

[583] If you want to be a sumo.

[584] Yeah, you want to get huge.

[585] And some of those cats are huge.

[586] Oh, my God.

[587] It's like a wall, a piece of wall.

[588] Do you enjoy watching?

[589] Is it fun to watch?

[590] Oh, man. Well, once you get to know some of the guys, because they're like the wrestlers we would know here.

[591] You know, some guys are, for example, when they throw the salt, you dig, that's like to purify the grounds.

[592] But there's showbiz involved.

[593] One guy takes it and he throws it, but he doesn't look.

[594] It's kind of like a way of saying, screw you to the other wrestler like that, which you're not supposed to do.

[595] There's another guy who takes a whole scoop full of salt in his hand.

[596] And he throws it up in the air and he stares up into it like Walt Disney, staring into the future and doodoo -l -l -l -l -l -l -l -l -l -l -l -h kind of a thing that he does.

[597] And then there's another cat who takes two little pinches, he throws it, walks away, and takes another, he throws it.

[598] And then he throws the whole fucking box.

[599] And it goes, that's like almost about two pounds of salt.

[600] And the referees act really angry, and they get really angry.

[601] really pissed and the audience is full of ecstatic glee you know because he broke the rules you know that's hilarious oh yeah and there are there are some guys who are technicians you know in terms of um uh fighters okay you know think like judo there are other guys who uh like uh so like kineshki here was describing he knew it all from football he'd been playing football for uh hawaii in Hawaii since he was in grade school.

[602] Clearly a kid built like that was playing defensive tackle, defensive guard, defensive everything.

[603] From the time he was a toddler, they put him in a football uniform, you know, in grade school.

[604] And so he learned all of his balance.

[605] He learned all of his agility, you know, moving side to side lateral movement, responding to a coach's, you know, cue and, you know, learning plays, how to work with a team, etc, et cetera, et cetera.

[606] So, you know, when he stepped into the ring, so to speak, he was using football on these guys.

[607] And he didn't even use the basic where you put both hands on the ground.

[608] You all know that sumo position.

[609] The idea in that is that you want to get bulldog low so that you dip down and come up under.

[610] Like in a scrum, like in rugby or jiu -jitsu.

[611] You want to be the one who gets up under.

[612] Right, you know, you'd get to the knees first.

[613] You want to come in as low as you possibly can.

[614] And he never bothered to do that, which infuriated everybody.

[615] It caused a big stir.

[616] Is it legal to start without both hands in the dirt?

[617] We don't know.

[618] Nobody's ever tried it.

[619] And there was crazy.

[620] That's so crazy.

[621] Oh, yeah.

[622] And there's placards outside and demonstrations about we can't allow outsiders into our national sport, you know.

[623] But the national sport is going to pass away unless we have outsiders.

[624] It's a great show business.

[625] So what is his stance?

[626] How does he enter?

[627] If he doesn't have two hands touching the ground, what does he do?

[628] Like a defensive tackle or a guard where you just kind of get down low and you get your wrist on one knee and in the middle of your forearm on the other.

[629] Like you're going to come up under with that shoulder.

[630] It's pretty familiar.

[631] You know, basic football.

[632] you know, posture, kind of a thing.

[633] But in the sumo world, well, is that legal?

[634] Aren't you supposed to touch the ground?

[635] Well, he did touch the ground.

[636] But now he's doing the Hawaiian lean.

[637] And now you have kids, more importantly, all over the country, imitating an outsider.

[638] Yeah.

[639] Oh, my goodness.

[640] You know, they're doing the Hawaiian lean.

[641] It's sort of like Tebow, when he gets down on one knee.

[642] And then these kids in high school, they're imitating a virgin.

[643] It's really similar.

[644] Right?

[645] It's like, you don't want you, like, hey, you cut that out, you fucks.

[646] Not that guy.

[647] Exactly.

[648] That's not your hero, God damn it.

[649] That's a kneeling virgin.

[650] And he was not slated to win right away, which he started doing.

[651] Because, you know, a lot of these kids who start off in Sumo, they're farm kids.

[652] And they don't have any real, you know, sporting skills.

[653] You know, they've seen it on TV.

[654] They're just strong.

[655] Yeah, you know, big strong.

[656] And they'll come down.

[657] and they'll start living at the stables, like boxing stables, you know, that's what it's called.

[658] Did you ever see a mixed martial arts event in Japan?

[659] No, I never have.

[660] I've seen a thousand of them, you know, on television.

[661] There was a huge one last weekend.

[662] Vanderlea Silva just fought this guy, Brian Stan, last weekend in Japan.

[663] You know what?

[664] I saw it on the cover of Metropole magazine, which is one of the magazines that, you know, is the English -spoken.

[665] and when I saw them on the cover and whatnot.

[666] How long were they there just for one weekend?

[667] Yeah, it was just one night of fights but the audience is so interesting.

[668] Like Brian, you experienced that when you went to the UFC there they clap, they're so polite, they're very quiet while the fights are going on and anything technical that happens, like reversal escape, like anything where a lot of people wouldn't cheer, they're like anything where you progress like you pass the half guard, he's in the mouth, oh they get, they're very polite it's really only people yelling I would like look back to see who was yelling because there's like only a couple and you would see oh it's just U .S. military dudes yeah you get us anywhere we're like kick his fucking ass Japanese people next to him were like what the fuck man totally not observing no you're describing something that is absolutely accurate yeah absolutely accurate I was just on phone with Alex Van Heelan and talking to him about we're going to be playing at the Tokyo Dome.

[669] We're playing at the big arenas there in Japan.

[670] And I wanted to remind him of exactly what you just described.

[671] That in the United States and in Europe, you have what's like an idling cheer, a scream.

[672] Always.

[673] It's like a car, idling.

[674] But it idles like a drag racer.

[675] Like you depend on it.

[676] In the way you do your spiel, your talk, your punctuation, you know.

[677] Bill Cosby eating pudding.

[678] You let them go.

[679] You know, when do you now say the next thing that you're going to say, you know?

[680] So you're listening with that.

[681] And when Americans cheer, it's like a car, like, I think it's called blower wine.

[682] Right, you hear it.

[683] Right.

[684] And it goes for a long time.

[685] and if you're waiting like to say something next or whatever you're listening for that and you're listening for it to hit a certain point volume wise or duration wise that you now interrupt now it's a little bit like a dance you follow otherwise and if people are making the long noise they enjoy themselves great let them enjoy themselves you know they love hearing their own power yes we are strong we're wonderful we're young and skinny Whatever the fucking thing is that night But in Japan you don't get that Correct.

[686] You get the Silence.

[687] Yes.

[688] Yes.

[689] Like it's sort of like cheering for the ball getting spiked in a volleyball tournament.

[690] Wow.

[691] And it's quick.

[692] Very quick.

[693] And I said to Al, you got to remember, think back how fast the cheer is here that we can't depend on that idling, scream, and, you know, in the comedy show.

[694] And, you know, where we get it laughing like, you know, I call it rat pack style, but it's just where you've made a connection with the audience and pretty much no matter what you say, as long as it's delivered in the right tone with the right mood is you're a host.

[695] Right.

[696] The worst that I can be on stage is a host.

[697] The best is a really funny host.

[698] Right.

[699] Or a really smart host.

[700] They'd have fun.

[701] You're there to help them.

[702] Exactly.

[703] So the worst thing, the least I can do is be a good host, and that means keep the spirit, you know.

[704] Okay, you know, especially if something goes wrong.

[705] Oh, my God, the plumbing just exploded.

[706] Great.

[707] Then everybody, dude, everybody's instantly, okay, great, it's an adventure, you know, as opposed to, oh, shit.

[708] No, no, that's horrible, you know, oh, my God, this is, Now, I don't want to be here.

[709] This isn't fun.

[710] This is now turning into something other than that's up to the host.

[711] Right.

[712] On a good night, if you get everybody kind of humming and bubbling and well -fed and watered and, you know, then pretty much anything you say can be, yeah, it's a little bit funny.

[713] Right.

[714] And every now and then, I hit a moment when I'm just Sammy Davis -Lew.

[715] Did you ever do something?

[716] stand -up at all?

[717] Have you ever done just straight stand -up?

[718] You ever try to do that?

[719] Never have.

[720] Have you thought of it at all?

[721] I don't think I have the, I don't have a, I got the nards for it.

[722] That's crazy because you you kind of do it a little on stage.

[723] Yes, just a tiny bit enough to sneak up and tap the door and run back.

[724] Yeah, and then immediately hit the music boys.

[725] It's hot for teacher.

[726] I always have those trap doors built everywhere.

[727] Like Felix, the freaking cat.

[728] I can draw that door anywhere on thin air and go look a song forget about that fucking brick I just laid out there yeah you guys don't have that door see so all of my greatest respects to the job you have chosen for me there's always it doesn't even have to wind up funny for me it doesn't even have to wind up clever or anything just shut up Dave be the host when I first met you at the comedy store was when you weren't with Van Halen anymore.

[729] You were on your own then.

[730] And being back it's got to be a trip.

[731] I mean, you guys were separate for so long.

[732] They tried two different lead singers.

[733] You know, I mean, the Sammy Hagar thing, a lot of people like that.

[734] But to me, it wasn't Van Halen.

[735] It was like, this is just a whole other band that Eddie Van Halen's playing guitar in.

[736] You can't call this van hailing that's crazy because the sound was so different the songs were so different the tone was so different it was like all of a sudden it was like overweight drunk girls music it was like i didn't i didn't like it was you know what i'm saying it it it seemed to me to be like a completely different kind of a band and then they tried it with the extreme guy what's his name i'm taking is that a point you're making.

[737] What is that dude's name?

[738] No, his name was the guy that was singing from extreme.

[739] Right?

[740] Remember?

[741] Yes.

[742] Continue.

[743] I'll think of it in a second.

[744] And then they go from that, then then somehow or another you guys get back together again.

[745] Well, that's, you know, it's like a football movie.

[746] Right.

[747] It is.

[748] It's kind of crazy.

[749] But that's got to be a really weird feeling to see them have this great success with Sammy Hagar, go out into the world, continue touring.

[750] And then that doesn't work out, or they stop that, and then this other guy, and they stop that.

[751] And then all of a sudden, you're on fucking stage again, and you're Van Halen again, the real Van Halen.

[752] Not Van Hagar, the real Van Halen.

[753] And the band is booming.

[754] Everybody is lucid, not sober, but lucid.

[755] That's all you need, right?

[756] In a court of law, I'll settle for Lucid.

[757] For Van Halen fans, though.

[758] I myself am lucid.

[759] For real Van Halen fans like me, when I heard that you were back with them, it made me so happy.

[760] Because I enjoy your solo stuff, and I enjoy some of their music, even with Sammy Hagar.

[761] But it wasn't the same.

[762] Together, you guys were like this crazy mixture of all the right ingredients, you know?

[763] Those ingredients are from right around the corner.

[764] We started talking about, you know, I was in the busing program, which was all black and Spanish -speaking classes.

[765] for junior high, high school, and more importantly, the youth club dance every Friday night or one Friday per month, and all the celebration, you know, the homecoming class dance, etc. For me and my sisters was all black and Spanish speaking.

[766] When we got graduation, it was, they played Santana on a loop, Sama Potty over.

[767] Over and da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -do -do -do -d -d -d -d -l.

[768] Over and over.

[769] The Van Halens went to a school Pasadena high school, which was walking distance from me, but I had to get on that bus.

[770] And there was all Ridgemont High.

[771] That was Deep Purple, Black Sabbath.

[772] That was the movie.

[773] Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

[774] Exactly.

[775] Exactly that neighborhood.

[776] White people.

[777] Exactly.

[778] So when we got together.

[779] You know, first off, they'd say, look at him, he sparkles like a diamond because, you know, I had suspenders and two -tone shoes and as much brill cream in my hair as I could get to hold, you know.

[780] And that's where the diamond Dave came from, you know.

[781] And so when we got together, I said to him, the reason that we're having trouble getting club gigs is it's not girl -friendly.

[782] You can't dance to the material, you know.

[783] You can't play Highway Star by Deep Pearl.

[784] and that's not dance music.

[785] Anything over about 128 beats a minute, you start spilling out of your drink.

[786] Yeah, you dig.

[787] And so if you look back now, jump ahead to all the Van Halen familiars, the Big 15 or whatever we want to call it.

[788] Jump, you really got me, running with the dance in a...

[789] They're all about 100 to 128 beats a minute.

[790] Coincidence?

[791] perhaps So you orchestrated it correctly It's what you're saying It was the perfect combination Of you getting together With these white people And say listen It's a lot of folks like to dance Hello yes It was a perfect collision course of this It wasn't just that It was your voice with his music It was perfect You know It was like you guys were An amazing band for a long time When I was in high school My sister's boyfriend Had Van Halen as his license plate I forget how he had it to bring it down to the right number, like V -N -H -Y -L -E -N -H -Y -L -E -N.

[792] You know, I don't know how he did it, but everybody was a huge Van Halen freak in my high school.

[793] They were always writing those, the V -H with all the, you know.

[794] Like a political logo.

[795] It was your, yeah, that logo was, people would draw that on the back of desks.

[796] You would find it on lockers.

[797] You know, you've lived a, that's a crazy, crazy life, man. It's, well, we have a crazy, crazy audience, and I've used this crazy band as a passport.

[798] to go out and visit with and to, you know, come and be part of.

[799] My pop spent the last 25 years of his career.

[800] He was a surgeon working in the prison system, like San Quentin and Folsom and Pelican Bay and off Ivy League, he called it.

[801] And he used to joke, and he'd say that if you carry a gun to work regularly, then they know Van Halen.

[802] And he meant that on both sides of the bars.

[803] that when a new Van Halen record came out, that it was celebrated on both sides of the tear.

[804] What was it like to be a superstar before the Internet, too?

[805] Well, that's an interesting case, because probably the biggest prayer before you go on stage these days would be, God grant us the powers and the drive and the focus that compelled those before us who did all of this before there was a microphone, before there was a camera, taking a picture of what we do.

[806] Think about, you know, broadcasting, what would have been broadcasting?

[807] I would have been on a stage with a guitar, but no microphones, no lights, no...

[808] Candles, yeah, candles and no PA system, right?

[809] And not so long ago, during Uncle Manning's life, he's still with us, and I'm sure, you know, back in the 1920s and 1930s, you know, They didn't have microphones and stuff.

[810] They didn't have guitar amps, et cetera, et cetera.

[811] So a lot of folks don't understand about the phrase upstage when you say stand upstage of them.

[812] That means modern stages are flat, but they used to go, they used to like ramp up.

[813] And you used to have to project out into the audience because you weren't wearing a microphone.

[814] Everybody had to be super quiet.

[815] And the actor how to talk like this.

[816] so the whole house could hear them.

[817] And that's where that fake style of acting came from.

[818] It's like you had to over project or no one can understand you.

[819] The upside of not having PA systems, you caused me to remember some good story.

[820] You've heard the term barrel house voice?

[821] Yes.

[822] Do you never wonder what it's from?

[823] It's from a beer hall.

[824] You know, full of beer barrels and everybody, and somebody's having to stand at the end of that hall and sing over the top of that.

[825] without a PA system you get the big barrel house voices you know like Tina Turner maybe has a barrel house voice who do we know that has a barrel house voice these days anybody particular you see that we're not even throwing name after name into the circle here are Kelly perhaps scat barrel house stories yeah you are you must be proud of that coming up through these little clubs and making your way that way, you know, and having these stories about back in the day when you had no stage and no PA system.

[826] Oh, yeah, it's the golden years, you know.

[827] It's, and you would read about that growing up, you know, I didn't make it up.

[828] I read about the Beatles, you know, moving together and having to live in broom closets in the Reaperbond, in the Red Light District of Germany.

[829] All right, sold.

[830] Did you explain this to, did you have to explain this to the rest of the band?

[831] Were they all aware of it as well?

[832] I don't recollect if this was one of my sell jobs.

[833] There were some things that I had to sell to the band, but I think they were aware that this was part of it.

[834] Their father was a traveling professional musician as well, so they'd grown up seeing photos of him on a steamship, you know, with a porthole, the circular porthole, in the background, and he's having a drink, and he's sitting at the piano, you know, and I had grown -up seeing, for example, pictures of my pop in the Air Force, you know, with what is that in the background?

[835] That's Casablanca.

[836] Good enough for me. Wow.

[837] So when you grow up with that kind of a thing, then you sort of know the story.

[838] The story is you got to start off in the beer bars.

[839] You got to start off in the basements and whatever.

[840] One of the best was right around the corner from here on Van Nuys was the Van Nuys cruise.

[841] And throughout the 70s, and I'm going to say, at least half of the 60s.

[842] The cruise was probably four miles long, and it would take you over an hour to get from one end of it to the other, okay?

[843] And all the bike clubs would park where the gas stations were closed, okay?

[844] And it was the classic cruise.

[845] It went past a place called the Rock Corporation, which looked a lot like where we're inside here with kind of a brick -facing inside.

[846] A lot of bikers in it, et cetera, used it.

[847] And this fellow Ricky Ratchman, who was a VJ for many years with headbangers ball.

[848] I remember that guy.

[849] Well, his father owned the bar at the time, okay, in his mother.

[850] And they were both in a bike club.

[851] And this was a biker's bar, okay.

[852] And it was where they had the first wet t -shirt contest.

[853] And this was when they were being tried downtown in the L .A. court systems, you know, if you got busted for running wet t -shirt contests, whether it was lewd, public exposure, you know, the usual collision course of, you know, the mayor versus, you know, whatever.

[854] It's probably where the dispensary system is today in terms of the legal collision.

[855] Well, it's in a gray zone.

[856] Well, it isn't.

[857] Well, we have a card.

[858] Well, it's the wrong card.

[859] Yeah.

[860] It's the right card, but the wrong jurisdiction.

[861] And it was my same old.

[862] What episode is this?

[863] You know, it was in that.

[864] And we played those wet t -shirt contests.

[865] And you want me to describe?

[866] Fuck yeah.

[867] Okay.

[868] It was all bikers.

[869] And, but I mean, the place held approximately, I'm going to say, 400 people.

[870] It was, you know, we could pack them in there.

[871] And they served Schlitz malt liquor, the bowl, by the pole.

[872] handle.

[873] Do you follow?

[874] They had it by the draft.

[875] Yeah, draft style.

[876] Yep, they would have a draft style.

[877] It was the only place that served it like that.

[878] And they would say, okay, we're going to have what t -shirt night tonight and you'll get everybody in there and then they would illegally lock the doors, okay, throw the bolts on the doors and pull in a kiddie pool.

[879] And with the kids pool, you know, like where you inflate it, you know, the big giant donuts like this and put it in front of the band.

[880] The band's stage was about as tall as, I'm going to say, a little bit taller and about four feet, waist high, I'll say.

[881] Okay.

[882] And I would roll my pants up and stand in the pool and interview the girls, okay?

[883] And the girls would get into the pool and everybody was real woozy.

[884] These were there the days of quailudes and disco biscuits and whatever else everybody was doing.

[885] Nobody knew what rehab was.

[886] Rehab was something that Uncle Dwayne got sent to.

[887] If he was up to a court and a half a day somewhere in Ohio, rehab.

[888] Who knew what the...

[889] You heard about Betty Ford.

[890] Not even.

[891] We're talking in 1975.

[892] Wow.

[893] No Betty Ford, Clement, Ben.

[894] Barely, if there was.

[895] I mean, who knew...

[896] She barely had pubes.

[897] Yeah, you know.

[898] This was 1974, five, and six in this area here.

[899] And, you know, nobody knew that Jesus did...

[900] Everybody thought that everything done in moderation was not a problem.

[901] And so everybody did everything at twice the amount of moderation and figured we'd handle the problem later.

[902] And it made for really noisy carrying on.

[903] We would run the girls through.

[904] How are you?

[905] My name's Tina.

[906] Where are you from?

[907] I'm from the Valley.

[908] Wow, they like to party in the Valley.

[909] Don't they?

[910] Hey, everybody plays.

[911] What song would you like to hear?

[912] Well, I like to hear free ride.

[913] Al, Holly from the Valley wants to take a free.

[914] ride do do do do do do and the band would start to play you know the song and whatever and uh we and the uh fellows would step up from behind and they pull her t -shirt really tight and then you know dump big pictures of ice cold water on her and she'd giggle and dance and you know carry on and slip and fall in the pool and there'd be water everywhere et cetera and uh we'd run them through and there would be easily 20 girls, okay?

[915] And it was never less than just a total line of babes wanting to go through.

[916] You would think who would want to do this?

[917] The answer?

[918] Everybody.

[919] It was the cool thing to do.

[920] And all the girls would go through, and then there'd be a huddle over at the side of the stage, and there'd be some secretive talking and some gesturing and some looking around, and there's some further gesturing.

[921] And then I would make the obligatory announcement that ladies and gentlemen, the judges are a little intoxicated.

[922] Some of the voting slips have been misplaced or mislabeled and then misplaced, and as have several of the judges.

[923] And we're going to have to have them all go through one more time.

[924] And the band would start playing smoke on the water.

[925] So we're going to take a break.

[926] away we'll chase you that sounds like a hell of a show yeah and what kind of bars are you doing this in uh well this was a specific bar this was called the rock corporation and it was uh off of van nines boulevard which is kind of right around the corner from where we've been there lately it's now just car dealerships and they don't have that that drive anymore it's a little more dangerous i'm sure well i'm sure you know this is a this is a township where uh you know we tear out all the trees and name the street after them so you only did this wet concert in You only did this wet t -shirt thing at this one particular location?

[927] This was the test zone.

[928] This is where the cops were.

[929] This was the Lenny Bruce place.

[930] You follow?

[931] The cops were showing up.

[932] They were doing undercover.

[933] They were, you know, getting the inside view on this and eyewitnessing.

[934] And then the whole thing was being tested based on what happened here at that one place.

[935] Wow.

[936] You follow?

[937] I think that would be a hell of a show.

[938] Can you imagine if you were there when Van Halen first started out doing fucking wet t -shirt contests?

[939] Imagine what stories you have?

[940] Oh, it was great stuff.

[941] And we, backstage is when all of our colorful habits started happening.

[942] Man, how many times I had to hitchhike home.

[943] I went and try and remember who had gotten the car, you know.

[944] When you see yourself and you see all these different guys that have been, uh, content.

[945] contemporaries, you know, rock stars before you, but you're still living like you're a single man, you'd pack up and go to Japan if you want, you know, you're not, you've never sort of reformulated yourself and brought yourself back in the mainstream society.

[946] You continued just being David Lee Roth, you know?

[947] Well, I live in my own little world, but leave a message.

[948] You know, I mean, it's kind of interesting.

[949] interesting how you pulled it off you know like you telling the story about moving to Japan like how many guys get to the point when they're your age that are so unsettled down and so free that they can just pack up and go to Japan for a year I got lucky yeah I got lucky that in that respect it's uh because it is a commitment you know it's it's a lot like uh you know I do I talk about you know having read early books about uh well then I first I joined the Merchant Marines and I worked my way up to Alaska and then I had the accident and so I had to go to work in this bar and I was working in this bar when this guy comes in with a treasure map and says, does anybody speak Swahili?

[950] He didn't know that I was half Swahili.

[951] So that's how I wound up in Africa two weeks later.

[952] And I just thought it would be fun to be one of those guys.

[953] Right.

[954] You know?

[955] but have you always been able to do that?

[956] You've always been like the type of guy that would just pack up and bolt?

[957] Or is this something you've sort of cultivated?

[958] I think it's something you have to cultivate.

[959] Again, that's pretty astute.

[960] You got a pretty clear eye there, Joan.

[961] Is that you can't just be impulsive.

[962] Yeah.

[963] Because you'll spend your whole time just getting drunk and, you know, waking up.

[964] But you have an eye for the romantic.

[965] though you have exactly you want to paint a more colorful picture if you're going to be sorted let's be really sorted well i wouldn't say it's sorted at all i would i would say fascinating you know the idea of packing up and and abandoning everything behind and going to somewhere that sounds very appealing to me i don't know if i would enjoy it the way you're enjoying it but the way you're enjoying it sounds really interesting i try to uh not just wander i guess that's what I'm pointing at is that is I try to make it a full experience so that it's a good story if nothing else at the end of the day.

[966] You're on an adventure.

[967] Yeah.

[968] And one of the best things to do is hook up with a team, get in with a group of people who come from a bunch of different backgrounds and see where that leads you because they're going to have to eat dinner sooner or later.

[969] Guaranteed, one of them's an alcoholic.

[970] Don't look.

[971] I guarantee it.

[972] and then just reintegrate yourself There's a womanizer in there somewhere Don't look You'll know We'll know He'll be the one that we ask Where do you go for that?

[973] And you know And et cetera And I've had great luck with that Does that help your songwriting too?

[974] Oh you bet Must, right?

[975] Oh yeah You bet If The old The old answer told new is somebody asked me on a show how long he was making fun of me how long does it really take to write a song for Van Halen you know it can't take that long really you know Dave how long is it take to write a song and I thought out loud and I said you know what you might have a point let's back into the truth here a little bit if you watch I'm going to say 1500 movies legitimate movies from beginning to end, and you discuss them.

[976] If you have read, I'm going to say 3 ,000 magazines, let's say 3 ,000 magazines from cover to cover, any kind of magazines.

[977] Good.

[978] If you've sat in front of television, just generalized television for another 6 ,000 hours, it'll take you about 22 minutes.

[979] Why, you got a pencil?

[980] Where's your paper?

[981] If you've done all that.

[982] Shut the clock.

[983] I can do that.

[984] I can beat that.

[985] How funny is it saying, how funny is it saying how hard could it be to write a Van Halen song?

[986] Like, what a silly bitch that guy is?

[987] Because the idea that anything, just because it has a small amount of words, because it has easily rememberable beat or whatever, the idea that it wouldn't be like really hard to fucking create that.

[988] And if it wasn't really hard to create that, wouldn't there be a lot more Van Halen's out there?

[989] There are a number of sub -van Halen's out there.

[990] There's a number of almost Van Halen's out there.

[991] What do you think was influenced by you guys the most?

[992] Like what band?

[993] Oh, I can't go there.

[994] It's nothing wrong being influenced.

[995] You know?

[996] I don't know.

[997] What is Dave Mamet say that imitation is the sincerest form of stealing?

[998] Is that what he says?

[999] That's funny.

[1000] That's funny.

[1001] It's, I don't know.

[1002] I know what influenced Van Halen the most, and that's a whole cross -section of different kinds of music and different kinds of theater, different kinds of show business, you know, starting long, long, long ago.

[1003] You can't just imitate one kind of band.

[1004] You can't just imitate one kind of music, you know, or you, or, you, or, you, or, you, becomes not even professional wrestlers do that.

[1005] They update.

[1006] Look at the way Batman looks, for example, compared to 10 years ago.

[1007] He looks different.

[1008] He's updated.

[1009] You know it's Batman from across the room.

[1010] But there's got to be, there's, you know, so I'm updating, we'll call it.

[1011] I don't even call it improvement.

[1012] You're not going to really improve Batman.

[1013] You're just going to kind of, you know, change the silhouette a little bit.

[1014] Sort of like a lot of people feel like Led Zeppelin.

[1015] did but like a lot of older blues music and you know add it to their shit i don't know what they did to their blues music i think that see there's the great battle is that is that plagiarism well people are saying is it plagiarism but it sounds so different most of what they did some of it doesn't some of it sounds like plagiarism then let's see bill burr bill burr said let's see the jew and him just came rocking again my friend Bill Burr sent me a clip.

[1016] He goes, this broke my heart.

[1017] He sends me this clip showing Led Zeppelin songs and then all these other people that the Led Zeppelin band apparently got the original music from.

[1018] Sort of just ganked it, like took chunks of it.

[1019] Well, it's interesting when you listen to it back to back because you'll hear, I'm going to try and think of some lyrics, you know, you'll see it says a blues song.

[1020] And then all they really got from the, The blues song was a couple of lyrics.

[1021] I'm a little red rooster, and I lay the golden egg, and that's what the little red rooster said.

[1022] Right.

[1023] And then they'll repeat that a couple of times, and they'll say, well, that's the little red rooster blue song.

[1024] He changed all the music.

[1025] He went and created something else that was very different musically.

[1026] So now you have that question of, is that the whole blues song?

[1027] Is that a tribute?

[1028] Is that a tribute?

[1029] Well, I think he owes some money.

[1030] If he used the lyrics, if he used the words, great, pay him some words money.

[1031] If he changed the music, you change the music.

[1032] You changed the left behind the music.

[1033] Well, you were there for the beginning of that debate.

[1034] You were there in music for the beginning of the sampling debate.

[1035] When it all started happening, when rap artists started like MC Hammer.

[1036] Oh, sure.

[1037] And, you know, Vanilla Ice used that whole beginning part for under pressure.

[1038] I mean, there's so many different bands were getting sampled.

[1039] Like, what was your thought on that when that was all going on?

[1040] I think if you're going to, if you're going to use it, I don't even think you have to acknowledge.

[1041] You know, acknowledge behind the scenes, you can pay me for it.

[1042] You know, it doesn't have to have worn right up on the sleeve that you used my material because it's a lot like cooking in the kitchen.

[1043] You know, there are only so many ingredients.

[1044] If you're going to mix, you want to try and create something that's unfamiliar, I don't.

[1045] you understand so if you're going to take a sample of my voice and mix it with a sample of some other people's voice is great then you're going to pay us for that but i don't think there's anything musically wrong with that but you just think that it's a financial issue they owe you a little bit of money from it but it doesn't bother you it bothers me from the sense that uh well people the song songwriting when you lit that singer this motherfucker was waiting with his lighter by his cancer stick waiting like yes the green light from and Dave.

[1046] Come on, cancer, suck it.

[1047] I am the son of Satan, though my duties now are largely ceremonial.

[1048] So back to that.

[1049] Yeah, I agree with you.

[1050] I find like mashups, you know, when they take songs, like there's a 99 voodoo child, 99 problems, and Jimmy Hendrix's voodoo child.

[1051] Sure.

[1052] It's a great mashup.

[1053] It sounds really awesome.

[1054] I think it's great if you're using older, familiar.

[1055] familiar music and I hear it in hip hop a lot and it's cool.

[1056] I'm hearing good stuff.

[1057] They're picking, you know, good little pieces of music.

[1058] Great.

[1059] I'm all for it because otherwise you're going to just have to learn it on an instrument and serve it back up some way anyways.

[1060] When you have a song like MC Hammer with the, what was it, Super Freak from Rick James where he took that?

[1061] How much does that guy have to give up?

[1062] How much does he give up?

[1063] Does he give up a flat fee?

[1064] Does he give a percentage of his sales?

[1065] How many ways to skin the cat?

[1066] It depends.

[1067] It's some people make it a flat fee and say, okay, I'll give it to you for whatever, $10.

[1068] Other people say, I want a piece of the action and you're taking a chance because who's in charge of monitoring the action?

[1069] You know, the record company is, you know, is going to remit.

[1070] You go, oh, I want a little piece of that because that's going to be a popular song.

[1071] But somewhere in between, you know, there's going to be a licensing fee.

[1072] It usually comes in terms of just, you know, you've got a one check.

[1073] for doing the thing so but it's a great way for you having older music reinterpreted I'm all for that Van Heelan music's been reinterpreted 35 different ways you know and I'm all for that I dig all the floor mixes too I've heard all kinds of dance remixes and stuff as well so you know new audiences new shoes new cowboy hats yeah nothing wrong with that right oh no it's it's well Van Heelan's kind of the spiritual guidance, too.

[1074] Van Halen goes beyond just the musical.

[1075] We're the patron saints of everything that allegedly happens after midnight.

[1076] You know that.

[1077] Yeah.

[1078] Allegedly.

[1079] That's the whole projection, right?

[1080] You were also around to see the music business radically changed because of the internet.

[1081] That had to be quite a bit of a mind fuck because when you guys started, they were selling cassettes.

[1082] You know, I mean, you guys were albums, were vinyl albums and cassettes and the vinyl albums were badass because you had all the artwork and then that that shrunk to CDs and then the CDs went away.

[1083] And can we say how awesome 1984 was on CD and stereo blasting as loud that that beginning sound?

[1084] That was amazing.

[1085] I was one of my one of my first CDs.

[1086] What was it like to see like this this music business like really fucking change like radically where you can't really sell records anymore?

[1087] I mean you sell few off iTunes, but the numbers, the percentage drop is just staggering.

[1088] And I think which we're also seeing more than just in terms of numbers, Joe, is that we're seeing how high people are reaching for quality.

[1089] Because if it's result -oriented, we always say, well, we're just here for the music, we're just here for the labor of love, et cetera.

[1090] But there is a reality behind the scenes that if there's that multi -million dollars, ability to sell 20 million records like Saturday Night Fever or one of those Fleetwood Mac records or one of those Eagles records, you know, one of those huge multi -billion selling.

[1091] Jesus, I just wrote Dark Side of the Moon.

[1092] I think I'm going to buy Kalua with some of the profits and really go on vacation.

[1093] Forever.

[1094] one of those kinds of fortunes you know hey guys I just wrote a song called stairway to heaven and I think not anymore you know and you know we're going to have to put in a year and a half two years of our time doing this you know is that's that's what happens you want to do the wall you want to do Tommy you want to do you know one of those kinds of records then you go that's like a three year commitment from the time you go hey you want to write some songs to the time you're standing around uncomfortably in a suit and tie collecting you well i wouldn't be up here for the ninth time tonight with one of these little statues if it wasn't for a lot of other people that space of time it's about three years and it means commit yourself like a blue uniform type of commitment like ruin your family life more not more often than not like you're a soldier for that song completely you become a soldier in the that band.

[1095] I'm sure Springsteen's acolytes would tell you that, you know, and all those early, you know, born to run and jungle land and all those epic things do not are not born of, you know, well, yeah, we marched up to the gate and we stormed the gate and won.

[1096] No, no, no. We had to slog our way for months.

[1097] Then we camped four months.

[1098] Then we decided wrong month.

[1099] So that kind of a thing.

[1100] Like, and families take a beating and, you know, so why would you do it?

[1101] Well, first, you of course, the nobility of song.

[1102] And second, of course, because you have an opportunity to win the super trisacta, trifecta, whatever it is, race times, you know, a $400 million dollar lotto that will generate forever if you create a bridge over troubled water.

[1103] But if you're going to be in that studio, it's like going in when it goes to a submarine.

[1104] You may well be there really in mind, if not body, for three full years.

[1105] And that's before the tour.

[1106] And when that all sort of stopped, what was the feeling like in the music business?

[1107] When it's like all of a sudden electronic downloads are completely taking over.

[1108] Your companies are getting stripped by illegal downloads, just stripped.

[1109] albums are out instantaneously on bit torrent the moment they're released and more downloads in terms of how many people are downloading it to how many people are buying it far more downloads right well it's you're bringing up interesting thoughts and you're causing me to have interesting feelings ambivalent feelings about all of this because I feel like you've come break you've now broken into the bottom of the boat where they're keeping me and you've torn open the door and you have a sword in your hand come rough and us fight for freedom because they discovered I was a traitor some time ago um you know I'm coming also from a time it's a It's a little bit of, not a prisoner of Zenda, but whatever that other one is, where he's on the island.

[1110] I coming from a time when, Count of Monte Cristo, coming from a time when musicians were either loved or not so loved, Van Halen was not so loved.

[1111] So today, by the record companies.

[1112] What?

[1113] Yep.

[1114] And today, if you buy a $10 Van Halen record, I'll make.

[1115] six cents royalty oh my god yes the producer makes more of those first two records than i do and um actually let me be fair the subsequent four van halen records i do make eight cents royalty wow out of a ten dollar record album there so when you're telling me the boat is sinking so you're like go fuck yourself you've killed most of my staff really you're like i'll be including the big guy with the wristwatch.

[1116] The big guy with the wristwatch.

[1117] You killed him, right?

[1118] Yeah, okay, okay.

[1119] I'm prepared to talk.

[1120] Was it a dark business?

[1121] Was it a dark business?

[1122] Of course it was dark business.

[1123] Are you kidding?

[1124] It was as noisy and corrupt as you would ever want it to be.

[1125] But walking into negotiations for anybody, I don't know that it's any easier today than it ever would be.

[1126] For somebody new, come on.

[1127] I write poems for a living, and I sing and dance the poems.

[1128] It's that simple, but you will spend your whole time trying to perfect that craft if you're going to live off of it to try and speak the language of, okay, now I speak market -bearing bonds that equal to prime lending rate of, no, no, it's all carefully hidden away from you anyways.

[1129] Just the idea that you're going to want to sign your own checks is alien to most people in this business, you know.

[1130] So we had to learn the hard way.

[1131] And when we talk about how the record business has changed, I do miss the epic efforts.

[1132] People used to make a Herculean effort when you go into the studio to really make a contribution, to really take the music pass where you found it, and to really make a million bucks.

[1133] That's a powerful, that's a powerful energy drink, man. Nicotine fueled.

[1134] Ambition and greed times musical, whatever.

[1135] Wow.

[1136] Do you think that it'll balance out eventually where the bands will now be able to get free promotion on the internet and then they'll reap most of the profits that come from touring?

[1137] And do you think that eventually that kind of balances out and that what gets distroupes, It's distributed on the internet, even though you're not getting profit from it, like CDs, with new bands, it'll be able to change the sort of the atmosphere, and they'll be able to get promotion where they would never be able to get the promotion before just through viral marketing, just through viral, just friends spreading things that they enjoy.

[1138] I'm a perfect example of it.

[1139] I couldn't get a job today in regular terrestrial radio if my life depended on it.

[1140] I'm difficult to work with.

[1141] I can't imagine that you'd be difficult to work with.

[1142] How are you difficult to work with?

[1143] Anyway, we're back.

[1144] How are you difficult to work with?

[1145] Well, you're self -describing yourself as difficult.

[1146] How would you be difficult to work?

[1147] This is how I've been labeled.

[1148] And getting in and out of regular radio is because I don't fit in, because I had a black sidekick because I play ethnic music loops.

[1149] I play the opening from Superfly over and over again.

[1150] Yeah, but Howard Stern has had Robin Quivers.

[1151] forever like it's different it's you having a black sidekick was like criticized oh yeah there was a big issue what who was your sidekick's name was animal he was one of my he was uh he'd done security for uh you know dray and snoop and right all kinds of good characters is from montgomery alabama and uh we discussed all kinds of you know pertinent data we there was no stone unturned we discussed every subject in the news today you love talking so much this seems like a perfect thing for you Well, what they wanted was Hey, buddy's van for the top of the hour I'm here for the live Hey, Tina, what's going on?

[1152] I'm going to say, well, they're getting sucked out of the cars If I was a smart executive And I know that's an oxymoron It's like if I was military indeligence What I would do is I would say, Dave, what do you want to do?

[1153] Let me get you a microphone And ready, go.

[1154] We're going to have to throw some commercials in every now and then.

[1155] Is that okay?

[1156] Okay, other than that, it's on you.

[1157] Just completely leave it up to you.

[1158] But if someone tries to change your personality and try to twist around your, you know, your energy and get you to do something you don't want to do, it's going to be a disaster.

[1159] Like how they could not see that that would be a disaster, like, right away is that that's puzzling to me. Yeah, I think they, they were feeling imperious with Tony Sopranowitz, who was that what it was they just wanted to get you to listen?

[1160] Yeah.

[1161] They had, and Corolla was part of this as well.

[1162] He was one of the other faces that had been hired.

[1163] And we were all put under the thumb pretty readily.

[1164] It happened quick.

[1165] And I don't think anybody survived it, which is telling, out of some 14 different faces and personalities across the country.

[1166] It was so overmanaged, you know.

[1167] I mean, Corolla obviously has shown that all he has to do is just be himself, you know, just to put, you know, now that he's running his own show, it's much more successful than his radio show.

[1168] show ever was hello it's yeah it's boom it's like let them be him so now you're doing exactly the same thing let you be you i'm doing uh the roth show and it's all the same stuff it's you know ethnic music off countle tone left of center humor and um i don't know i don't know a whole lot of guests so it's kind of a monologue kind of a mark twain thing you know listen bill burr again my friend bill he has money he calls it the monday morning podcast he's a stand -up comedian He just basically rants about shit.

[1169] He just, like, pick up the newspaper and just, and it's fucking great.

[1170] It's great.

[1171] It's an hour of just him talking shit, almost no guests.

[1172] You could do that easily.

[1173] Well, it also, we're getting to a level now where talking becomes an art form.

[1174] And art is something as simple as it wasn't created before, but now that it exists, it forces you to think, forces you to argue, forces you to have some kind of action and re -action kind of thinking and a lot of folks when they get to talking on the radio are afraid of being criticized you're afraid of losing a constituency you know especially when you have morning team radio you're doing traditional radio um you know you don't want to say anything that's going to cause people to argue and i think that's the first thing that you want to reach for if you're going to make any kind of contribution if you say what is art something that forces them to think like what do you mean like that soup can like that Andy Warhol soup can from a bazillion years ago is that art or is that BS is that a sales job or is that we're going to be here a while get some more got some more of that coffee and that's when it becomes art and what we're doing here every now and then we hit a moment where the people are listening and people get hooked and can I even hear that?

[1175] Am I supposed to hear that?

[1176] Am I encouraged to think about that?

[1177] And I think that's a whole new art form happening out there now.

[1178] Yeah, I think one of the interesting things about letting a person be themselves on a television show or on a...

[1179] You're going to spark up again, you fuck, look at them.

[1180] You get in the green light.

[1181] It's seeing someone be able to be themselves for the first time.

[1182] You'll be able to express themselves with no one's direction, you know, with no one telling you what to say or what to do, that's a rare moment.

[1183] You don't get that on the tonight show, you know, when you talk to David Letterman, I get to see David Lee Roth in these five to seven minute bursts where this, it's so hard to get to know you, like, for real legit.

[1184] They're going to get to know you, though, if they listen to your radio show.

[1185] They listen to you the Roth show and they listen to that over and over again for several months.

[1186] They'll know the real you.

[1187] Which, it's pretty sprawling so far.

[1188] We've covered a variety of subjects.

[1189] I like campfire telling.

[1190] You know, just enough, like, I can share some things.

[1191] Probably you didn't know, like, why disc jockeys on FM radio speak like heroin addicts.

[1192] They don't do that anymore.

[1193] They gave up.

[1194] That guy doesn't exist anymore.

[1195] Remember those guys?

[1196] Yes.

[1197] You know, that was the alternative to hopping and popping and bobbing with the best bet for the boss beat at the top of the pop smash.

[1198] Gold, you know.

[1199] Time wins.

[1200] Top 40.

[1201] boss jock hit bound yeah and then there was this trip club DJ type character all right we got Nickelback coming up next to the stage candy 14 dollar kamakazis and you try to get as many syllables out of it Lexus to the main stage yeah there's a there's a bunch of those voices that they just use like the sportscaster voice or the small town news guy voice.

[1202] Can you do the, can you do the sportcaster voice?

[1203] The sportscaster voice would be like that, like something from the Simpsons.

[1204] Mike Tyson enters the ring, 16 and 0, 206 pounds, 6 '4 3.

[1205] I've always wondered what it would be like to announce a fight.

[1206] Does that come by easily for you?

[1207] It's easy now, yeah, because I've been doing it for so long.

[1208] It's second nature.

[1209] but in the beginning it was a little odd it was strange and so you have to know when to talk when not to talk when you're talking too much you know it could you know you got and you got to be really focused on what's happening how did you learn those things did you go back and look at tapes of your call and listen and get critiqued or yeah I try to be observant while I'm doing it but definitely had to go back and listen in the early days and I'd listen to myself like I need to shut the fuck up like I'm talking too much you know I or I was talking too much about one fighter, not enough about another, or I was missing something, or, you know, you can get on tangent sometimes, you can get stuck.

[1210] It really is, like, sort of a skill.

[1211] You learn how to do it as time goes on.

[1212] I bet it is, and are you watching on the TV screen mostly?

[1213] Depends.

[1214] Depends on what the angle is.

[1215] Like, sometimes, I prefer to see it live, like, right in front of me, but sometimes, like, especially in ground battles, like, when they're fighting on the ground, I have to see an overhead.

[1216] I don't know where the guy's arm is.

[1217] I don't know if he's in jeopardy, he's defending correctly, you know, or I could say what he's doing wrong or what he's doing right.

[1218] I need to see it on the camera sometimes.

[1219] Or if the guy's backs are to us, if they're backs are to us, I can't see what's happening in front of him.

[1220] I can't see where he's hitting him, so I'll look down at a monitor sometimes.

[1221] It all depends.

[1222] How many fights have you called?

[1223] Oh, more than a thousand.

[1224] Really?

[1225] Definitely more than a thousand.

[1226] Yeah, I've been calling the...

[1227] I started doing post -fight interviews in 1997 for the UFC, but I started doing the...

[1228] commentary in 2002 so from 2002 11 years so far that's amazing and and what one fight really sticks out in your mind what one night really sticks out in your mind there's no one that really sticks out because so many of them have been insane the ufc is so fucking exciting there's so many exciting fights there's not one that really sticks out there's uh there's so many of them it's it's so many it's so many high so many tens you know well well What makes a 10?

[1229] What makes a 10 evening?

[1230] Like when you walk out at the end of the night and you go, wow, that just all jelled.

[1231] What are the three main ingredients, for example?

[1232] The holy shit moments.

[1233] The holy shit moments.

[1234] Like when Anderson Silva front kicked Vitor Belfort in the face and knocked him unconscious, you were just like, holy shit.

[1235] No one had never landed a front kick to the face ever in a mixed martial arts fight.

[1236] Like you never saw that.

[1237] I spent a lot of my childhood trying.

[1238] Well, it's a staple technique.

[1239] technique of karate, of Taekwondo, of a lot of martial arts incorporate the front kick.

[1240] It's a very basic kick.

[1241] But before then, we never saw anybody knock a guy out in the UFC with a front kick to the face.

[1242] It never happened.

[1243] There's only been one wheel kick knockout before the ultimate fighter.

[1244] Now there's two.

[1245] But before then, there had only been one.

[1246] Edson Barbosa knocked out Terry Adam with a wheel kick to the face.

[1247] That had never happened in the UFC before.

[1248] but the one that landed was unbelievable.

[1249] Knocked him unconscious.

[1250] He fell down, like he got shot with a sniper rifle.

[1251] It was craziness.

[1252] It was so devastating that now people are throwing wheel kicks left and right.

[1253] Like, everybody's trying to land them because they realize how deadly they are once they land.

[1254] So now everybody, people pick up the ball and they're going to start to imitate.

[1255] Exactly.

[1256] And you'll start to see the copycat killers in the ring.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] Well, you start to see success with these unorthodox techniques that are really not unorthodox.

[1259] techniques.

[1260] They're just traditional mixed martial arts techniques that people hadn't incorporated into the octagon yet.

[1261] What most of the stuff that got by in the early morphing of mixed martial arts was wrestling and the ability to punch on the feet.

[1262] But then Mori Smith came around and started showing people high level kickboxing.

[1263] And he started leg kicking guys and knocking guys out.

[1264] So then they started incorporating kicks, but Maurice was a Muay Thai guy.

[1265] So everybody was throwing out these roundhouse.

[1266] kicks and that's basically it.

[1267] Then Anderson sort of evolved things even further and a lot of other fighters did as well and now you're starting to see like with Leota Machita and a lot of these other karate stylists, you're starting to see all sorts of different karate techniques inside the Octagon as well because these guys know all the other stuff like wrestling.

[1268] They know how to stand up with wrestling, they know how to get back up to their feet and they know how to avoid takedowns.

[1269] So now you're seeing all these other traditional mixed martial arts techniques or traditional martial arts techniques, rather, that we didn't see for 10 plus years.

[1270] And are these familiar techniques that are we going to continue seeing them?

[1271] Or are they particular to one guy?

[1272] Well, there's a few that we haven't seen yet.

[1273] And one of them is the axe kick.

[1274] Guys have tried it, but no one's ever knocked anybody out.

[1275] In kickboxing and in Taekua No tournaments, there's a lot of knockouts with axe kicks.

[1276] I've never seen one in the UFC.

[1277] An axe kick with a guy with your kind of flexibility, when you used to throw those wild kicks, when you would basically do a split standing up and throw a kick like right over your head, you know the axe kick is you throw the leg up like that and then you come down with the heel.

[1278] It's a devastating technique if you're flexible enough and you're fast enough.

[1279] It's like getting hit in the head with a giant bone hammer, you know?

[1280] I mean, it's really a brutal technique, but we haven't seen it in the octagon.

[1281] How come we haven't seen it in the octagon?

[1282] But the same reason why Anderson Silva's front kick to Vitor Belford's face was the first time we ever saw it.

[1283] We just need to see someone pull it off.

[1284] If one person pulled it off, one guy who really knows how to do it and has confidence in it, we'll see it left and right.

[1285] It's sort of like the four -minute mile.

[1286] Once it's broken, then other people will break it.

[1287] What about the biggest, biggest guys?

[1288] Who are the two biggest guys now that are fighting in there?

[1289] Well, that's a funny thing about heavyweights.

[1290] It doesn't seem that the biggest guys are the most effective.

[1291] In heavyweights, once you get up to 265 pounds, that's the heavyweight limit.

[1292] The most effective guy seemed to be about 240.

[1293] like Kane Velazquez, Junior Dos Santos, those guys are around 240.

[1294] When you get bigger than that, you just move a little too slow, and you don't make up in horsepower what you get, what you lose, rather, with you're having too much muscle mass, having your body have to pump blood through too much body mass, too many cells to feed with oxygen.

[1295] It seems like there's a point of diminishing returns.

[1296] And they move slower.

[1297] It's not as much fun to watch the fight.

[1298] Yeah.

[1299] Well, they move slower.

[1300] They're easier to hit.

[1301] hit as well.

[1302] They're easier to hit and they can't keep up the pace.

[1303] Like a 155 pound fighter, like you see a lightweight in the UFC, they can, they can blitz for five, five -minute rounds.

[1304] Like Benson Henderson, the lightweight champ, that dude can go full clip for five -minute rounds.

[1305] He's got that cardio.

[1306] No heavyweight does.

[1307] They just don't.

[1308] They just don't have it.

[1309] Even Kane Velasquez, who's the most conditioned heavyweight, he'll get more tired in a five -round fight like when he just won the title back against Junior Dos Santos.

[1310] He's known for his cardio, but he got noticeably tired in in that fight even though he dominated and won his title back he got way more tired than you would ever see like benson henderson get and it's just a matter of physics it's just a matter of you have to pump oxygen and blood through you're dealing with 90 more pounds of tissue than benson has to deal with talking endurance is probably how much percentage of the winning time it's enormous for every fight that gets out of the round for every fight that gets out of the first round it becomes a bigger and bigger and bigger part of the equation.

[1311] You don't see any fighters that are successful in the top 10 under 265 pounds that have stamina issues.

[1312] They never make it.

[1313] You just can't make it.

[1314] You can't make it at 170 with stamina issues.

[1315] You know, George St. Pierre is a cardio machine.

[1316] 155 Benson Henderson is a cardio machine.

[1317] 185 Anderson never gets tired.

[1318] Anderson Silva got throttled by Chale Sunnan for four and a half rounds and still pulled off a triangle off of his back in the fifth round.

[1319] I mean, you're talking about a guy with supreme conditioning, and those are the only guys that survive in this day.

[1320] The field is far too competitive.

[1321] There's no way to make it unless you have all the bases covered.

[1322] You'll get a certain distance with just power.

[1323] If you're like a really explosive guy who could just blitz guys and run after them and crack them, you'll get a certain distance.

[1324] but you'll never beat the very best guys because the very best guys will know they'll have to do is run you, to sprint you for the first 45 minutes or 45 seconds rather and if you don't catch them with a shot then your gas tanks are already empty.

[1325] I remember when this was all just starting off and it was all very iffy as to where it could be shown and what cities would allow it to happen and now what?

[1326] We've got two women who are fighting and how did this just go?

[1327] It was great.

[1328] It was a great fight too.

[1329] It wasn't like she went in there and kicked the girl's ass.

[1330] Like the girl almost got her.

[1331] Liz Karmouche was the opponent.

[1332] And Liz Karmouche took her back.

[1333] And, you know, she's a Marine and a lesbian.

[1334] You know, you're talking about a badass bitch.

[1335] And she wasn't there to lose.

[1336] She was there to win.

[1337] And she took Rhonda Rousey's back and had her in a standing rear naked choke.

[1338] It was bad.

[1339] Her face was twisted.

[1340] Rhonda's face was bright purple.

[1341] A female Marine lesbian with a standing rear naked choke.

[1342] Yeah.

[1343] I have that video.

[1344] You can't travel with that one If you go overseas, they arrest you It sounds great, frankly It was a wild fight And how long did the fight go on?

[1345] First round And Rhonda got out of the rear naked choke Got her to the ground and got her in an arm bar So she's won seven fights, seven first round arm bars She's a badass bitch too It was a great fight It was incredible.

[1346] It was beautiful to watch And where did they have this show?

[1347] Anaheim.

[1348] This was in Anaheim And was it pretty well attended?

[1349] Oh yeah, yeah It was sold out.

[1350] It was craziness.

[1351] This is excellent.

[1352] What's this say about the economy, that the economy has fallen apart, but that this is thriving.

[1353] Well, there's so...

[1354] This is an element of sports and showbiz that is just thriving.

[1355] Even if the economy is in the toilet, which it most certainly is, there's so many people.

[1356] I mean, we're dealing with 20 million people.

[1357] Only 15 ,000 can go to this thing.

[1358] You know, even in a downed economy, you're going to find 15 ,000 people who can scrape together the cash for such an epic event.

[1359] especially women who are like really into the UFC and now all of a sudden they have someone who's like a role model for them like you know how many girls are going to start doing martial arts now because of ronda rousie and liz carmouche i'm sure of it i'm sure of it you'll start seeing the placards in the storefront windows yeah starting now women's classes women's only classes yeah yeah no no doubt about it there's going to be a lot more of that and now that they realize also you can make a legit living like ronan to Rousey, if she's not rich already from that fight, which I'm pretty sure she is.

[1360] I don't know how much she makes off of pay -per -view and all that jazz, but I'm sure she probably has more money than her wildest dreams right now.

[1361] And that's the beginning.

[1362] That girl is a superstar in athletics now.

[1363] She's doing every possible talk show.

[1364] She's doing every possible magazine interview.

[1365] Five years from now, she'll be able to retire and buy herself a fucking country somewhere and have a bunch of little brown dudes, wash her feet.

[1366] She'll do whatever she wants.

[1367] She can't do any wrong, you know.

[1368] She's a beast.

[1369] Are these gals tested for steroids and whatnot?

[1370] How far has that come reaching in a Lance Armstrong kind of world?

[1371] Well, that's a very good point.

[1372] Her main threat out there is a chick that calls herself Cyborg, and she got popped for steroids.

[1373] And she looks like a man. She's built, like, pull up a picture of Cyborg so you can see a picture of her, Chris Cyborg.

[1374] She's she also says that she can't drop down to 135 pounds, which is where Rhonda is the champ.

[1375] She wants Rhonda to come up and fight her at 145 because she weighs even more than that.

[1376] She cuts weight to get down there.

[1377] And a lot of people speculate that she just wants to stay on the juice and stay as thick and meaty as possible.

[1378] Look at the size of this beast.

[1379] And she's a serious.

[1380] That's cyborg.

[1381] There's a picture of her inside the cage that's even scarier.

[1382] There's a picture of her beating up a chick.

[1383] She's just swole like a dude.

[1384] And she's very skilled as well.

[1385] It's not just that she's, you know, really physically strong.

[1386] She's also, I think she won the world championships as a brown belt in Jiu -Jitsu.

[1387] She's a devastating stand -up fighter.

[1388] Really good kickboxing skill.

[1389] But are the athletes tested for steroids?

[1390] Yeah, she didn't pass.

[1391] She got an F. She looks like a dude and she got an F. Whoopsies.

[1392] You know, I'm, I don't know how politically incorrect or correct I can be here, but that's kind of how I like it.

[1393] Yeah.

[1394] You like a little chaos in the mix?

[1395] Yeah, there's some dirt under the fingernails happening.

[1396] Look at her there.

[1397] Yeah.

[1398] That is some masculine characteristics.

[1399] That's somebody who's been doing heavy lifting.

[1400] Yeah, with a dick growing in their panties.

[1401] I have a...

[1402] I'm spotting penis.

[1403] I have a good friend who's also a doctor.

[1404] and he specializes in hormones and hormone therapy and the reactions that people have to certain hormones and he got on our show and said there is not a way in the world that a woman gets built like that unless she's taking male hormones.

[1405] It just doesn't happen.

[1406] Yeah, it's got to be.

[1407] It would have to be.

[1408] He's talking about like ridiculously thick musculature in strange places like the traps and the neck and the shoulders and the arms.

[1409] Like you're talking about literally man -sized athlete, a good, strong male athlete's body.

[1410] Well, this brings up another question then, and this goes into normal boxing.

[1411] Do they test for steroids, et cetera, in traditional boxing?

[1412] Oh, yes, they do.

[1413] Yeah, people have been caught.

[1414] Because somebody was just talking about it on the air recently, that if athletes are buffing up all the more and still throwing punches at each other's heads, then the injuries and the damage is going to be concerned.

[1415] considerably more.

[1416] Just because everybody's stronger.

[1417] Everybody's got more wallop, yeah?

[1418] Yeah, that is the big, that's the big debate.

[1419] Also, the ability to keep punching and not get tired.

[1420] There's other things that are just as dangerous as steroids, like EPO.

[1421] EPO is what Lance Armstrong was using, what all those cyclists use.

[1422] And what it does is it gives your body an extraordinary amount of red blood cells, allows you to carry oxygen in a really unnatural manner.

[1423] And what these guys are doing is they, if they're taking EPO and they're fighting someone they put a pace on a guy like they can go they have way more endurance than it's like normally physically possible and they'll put a pace on a guy and then wound up beating the shit out of the guy because the guy can't keep up with their pace well is it because they've trained harder or is it because they're on EPO well it could be both but the EPO most certainly is a dangerous aspect of fighting what is what is EPO exactly I don't know let me pull up with the what it stands for but what it is and I have a friend who has use this stuff because he was a former professional cycler and he said that when he was on a big cycling team he said they were on the bus they were on tour you would hear guys get up in the middle of the night and grab their bike and hear them pull their bike off the bus and go for a ride they had to because the the blood was pooling up in their body their body is producing so much red blood cells you literally have to go out and burn some of it off so it's pretty crazy and dangerous stuff it's called erythropo pointin erthropoitin um i'll spell it yeah it's close enough ery t hr o p o i e t i et ian erythropyton irregardless so what does they do this is something you just take as an injectable and then it creates red blood cells yes i'll live you it's okay it's a glycoprotein hormone that controls earthopoysis or red blood cell production it's a cytokine protein signaling monocle molecule and the precursors in the bone marrow and human EPO is a molecular weight of 34 ,000 but is this legal for for any sport at all no it is not but it's not it wasn't as far as really recently tested for in fighting in the UFC what they weren't testing it for the Nevada State Athletic Commission They weren't testing it for boxers.

[1424] But then some boxer, I believe it was Sugar, Shane Mosley, got caught for it.

[1425] He got caught for something else, too.

[1426] This is a stellar crew.

[1427] Well, you know, look, these guys are, their health is on the line when they're fighting.

[1428] You know, I mean, you've got to think if you have a little more endurance, if you have a little more strength, it could keep you from getting knocked out.

[1429] It could keep you from getting beaten.

[1430] Sure, no. Certainly make your odds of success much higher.

[1431] And so a lot of guys, I think, even though it is cheating, they look at it pragmatically, and then they look at the fact that look, most of these guys are taking things, including Floyd Mayweather, who always is going off about people being on drugs and all these different things.

[1432] It turns out he had accidentally ingested some performance -enhancing substance and made some sort of a deal to keep all that quiet.

[1433] He accidentally ingested that, huh?

[1434] I'll tell you exactly if you want to know.

[1435] In a cold medicine, clearly.

[1436] Well, there's accidental there's accidental consumption through supplements that you buy like GNC.

[1437] Sure.

[1438] A lot of times they actually have supplements what you're buying that actually have steroids in them.

[1439] Like Brian was on this show, he's reviewed all these dick pills.

[1440] You know those dick pills that you get at a gas station?

[1441] Sure.

[1442] See them.

[1443] A lot of them, a good percentage of them, are actually like either Cialis or Viagra.

[1444] They buy it in bulk for them.

[1445] And it's actually cheap to sell and you mix it up with some fucking wacky herbs.

[1446] and you sell it over the counter in these gas stations that do not give a fuck.

[1447] These 24 -hour gas stations in the middle of nowhere, they'll sell these things, and it's profitable and really effective because they actually do work.

[1448] Well, they do do that with steroids.

[1449] Like, there have been many supplement companies that have been caught, and it turns out that athletes took their stuff and then tested positive for steroids, and then they'll take that stuff, and they'll bring it to a lab, and they go, yeah, there are steroids in there.

[1450] Like, they have illegally poured steroids into their supplements.

[1451] to make them effective.

[1452] So Floyd Mayweather, uh, performance enhancing drug test.

[1453] Well, that used to happen all the time with pseudafed and this sort of thing.

[1454] Yeah.

[1455] Mm -hmm.

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] It used to happen with Sudafed fed. Yeah, Floyd Mayweather got caught.

[1458] What did he get?

[1459] Tested positive three times for PEDs.

[1460] They, they don't have listed what he, uh, what he took.

[1461] But it's hilarious.

[1462] A lot of those guys are on things.

[1463] A good high percentage.

[1464] And if they're not on that, you know what they are on?

[1465] Almost everyone is taking, supplements, whether it's creatine or protein or vitamins or, you know, whatever beta alanine, whatever like legal stuff.

[1466] And you see that making a big difference in the ring, for example?

[1467] Not maybe not a big difference, but a difference.

[1468] And certainly there's stuff that you can take, cortisps mushrooms has a very profound effect on endurance.

[1469] That's real.

[1470] That's legit.

[1471] I've taken that stuff.

[1472] There's a product called Shroom Tech Sport that my company actually sells that is, it's based on the cortisps mushroom.

[1473] There's stuff that you can take that does work.

[1474] And how much, how does it register for you?

[1475] How can you tell that you get a little burst of energy?

[1476] Yeah, just tell.

[1477] Like, I normally will be at a certain level of exhaustion to work out, but I'll feel like I have extra energy because of taking this stuff.

[1478] There's also B12 in it, which has definitely been shown to be effective.

[1479] So you factor all that stuff in like B12, which a lot of like athletes will take an injectable form before performance because it enhances your energy and your ability to sustain energy.

[1480] But B12 is league.

[1481] So all these things, it becomes a matter of like, if you throw in a cocktail of all these legal things that can enhance performance that you're allowed to do, how much of a bump does it give you?

[1482] Does it give you a 5 % bump?

[1483] It might be a 10 % bump.

[1484] It might, I mean, at what point is it performance enhancing?

[1485] Well, when you take a steroid and it gets to 50%, is that where everybody draws the line?

[1486] I don't know.

[1487] It's going to be a strange day when a regular person is more fit.

[1488] and more capable than professional athletes who are natural because a regular person is going to have gone in for gene therapy the way a girl goes in for a nose job today because that's going to happen.

[1489] It's just going to.

[1490] If the human race stays alive, if we don't get hit in the head by a meteor, if we don't blow ourselves up, there's going to come a point in time within the next couple of decades where you're going to be able to change the molecular structure of your body.

[1491] You're going to be able to reformulate how your body is shaped, You're going to change your genetics.

[1492] You're going to change all sorts of aspects of the way your body performs.

[1493] And regular people are going to be able to get it.

[1494] Just like a regular person now has, in their pocket, in the cell phone, a computer processor that's greater than the computer processor that they used in the Apollo 11 moon launch.

[1495] We have now, it's like we have nuttiness in our pocket.

[1496] And we use it for what?

[1497] Whatever the fuck you want.

[1498] But it's like in that 50 years, you know.

[1499] know from from you know 1960 whenever it was to now imagine that amount of time going by from now into the future i can't imagine a time where we're not doing some sort of crazy genetic experiments particularly from this moment on yeah yeah i can't imagine it it's got it's got to be happening in secret too yeah behind closed doors there's a conspiracy some planet of apes type shit that's what we got to look out for to make some hybrid human chimpanzee murder Like some soylent green shit.

[1500] You just drop them off in Russia.

[1501] You know?

[1502] Yeah, it's possible.

[1503] Crazy fucks.

[1504] I mean, you think about what we do if we send troops to another country.

[1505] You know, what you're doing is you're guaranteeing that someone over there is going to die, right?

[1506] You're definitely doing that.

[1507] If you could train some sort of a chimpanzee that you've created in a laboratory and teach them how to shoot a gun and send them over there and tell them to eat babies and shoot people, you don't think they would.

[1508] do it?

[1509] Joe, what do you think about that tranny that's trying to fight in the MMA?

[1510] I was going to bring that up.

[1511] How did you get from a baby eating cannibal monkey?

[1512] Imagine babies I think penis.

[1513] There's a well, she calls herself a woman, but I tend to disagree.

[1514] And she used to be a man but now she has had she's a transgender, which is an official term that means you've gone through it, right?

[1515] And she wants to be able to fight women in uh in m m i say no fucking way i say if you had a dick at one point in time you also have all the bone structure that comes with having a dick you have bigger hands you have bigger shoulder joints you're a fucking man and there that's her right there that's a man okay you can't have that's i don't care if you don't have a dick yeah that looks like that looks like a guy's carriage there right yeah you can't fight women that's fucking crazy I don't know why she thinks that she's gonna be able to do that you if you want to be a woman in the bedroom and you know you want to play house and all that other shit and you know you feel like you have a your your body is really a woman's body trapped inside a man's frame and so you got an operation that's all good in the hood but what you can't fight chicks get the fuck out of here you're out of your mind you need to fight men you know period you need to fight men your size because you you're a man. You're a man without a dick.

[1516] And I don't know what that dude next to you on the left.

[1517] I don't know what the fuck he's trying to convince himself of.

[1518] I don't know what he's saying right now.

[1519] I don't need to hear it.

[1520] I'm looking at a man with a dress.

[1521] Okay.

[1522] And you don't you could act as a woman.

[1523] I will call you a her.

[1524] I will uh, betray, I will call you ma 'am.

[1525] I'll be respectful.

[1526] But you can't fight women when you have a man's frame.

[1527] Period.

[1528] Yeah.

[1529] Women aren't that wide.

[1530] That generates to increase punching power.

[1531] Women don't have that sort of muscle structure.

[1532] I don't know what you're doing.

[1533] I don't know.

[1534] You mean, obviously if you're trans -operational, it means you remove your testicles so your body's not producing testosterone anymore.

[1535] I don't know if you're supplementing testosterone.

[1536] If you haven't, if your body's not producing testosterone, why your arm's so big?

[1537] What's going on here?

[1538] You know, there's a lot of shit going on there and you can't fight women.

[1539] No fucking way.

[1540] Yeah, I agree with that.

[1541] Apparently, she's fighting women.

[1542] Yeah, that looks like a guy that's a guy's carriage there well not only that she's won two fights by brutal knockout so she's fighting women and whose who's who's divisions who's uh whose fight game is she participating in exactly there's a variety isn't yeah there's a variety of small companies that um that are uh willing to uh allow a person like this to fight i say it's fucked up you you can't fight women you can't and just to look at a record she's crushed two women inside the first round I mean she she's crushing these girls what is her weight?

[1543] 145 she knocked out this chick in 39 seconds with a vicious knee to the head she looks she looks like she's really in shape there look she's huge she's not just huge she's got a fucking man's face I mean you can wear all the lipstick you want you know you want to be a woman and you want to take female hormones you want to get a boob job that's all fine i i support your life to live your right to live as a woman what about her fighting uh guys then fight guys yes she has to fight guy it's not first of all she's not really she's she's transgender uh post -op person so she's supposedly after the operation yeah the operation doesn't shave down your bone density it doesn't change you look at a man's hands and you look at a woman's hands and they're they're built different they're just thicker they're stronger your wrists are thicker your elbows are thicker, your joints are thicker, just the mechanical function of punching.

[1544] A man can do it much harder than a woman can, period.

[1545] Well, he looks also like he's been doing athletics since he was nothing years old.

[1546] You don't just start boxing and then that's what you look like.

[1547] And I got to imagine there's a lot of female fighters out there who are relatively new to the game within the last five summers.

[1548] And I support 100 % anyone's right to be transgender.

[1549] This is not where it lies with me. Like, I'm not a prejudiced person.

[1550] I don't know what you feel in your body.

[1551] I don't know if you really are a woman trapped in a man's body.

[1552] I support your right to do whatever you want to do.

[1553] Go for it.

[1554] If that's what makes you happy, I would not try to stop that at all, and I support it 100%.

[1555] The real issue comes with violent competition with women and the reality of the physical structure of your body.

[1556] The reality of the physical structure is not fair.

[1557] You can't say that a 145 -pound woman and 145 -pound man are even.

[1558] That's like saying, you know, a 30 -pound poodle and a 30 -pound pit bull are just two dogs because they're not.

[1559] One of them is distributed its mass in quite a different way.

[1560] It's built for quite a different purpose.

[1561] And men are built for smashing shit.

[1562] Women are built for getting held down by the stronger male monkey and, you know, and women are built for carrying babies and doing work and whatever other non -hyper explosive physical things you would want to do with your body.

[1563] But they're not built for a hyper -explosive physical violence.

[1564] They're just not.

[1565] They have more dainty frames.

[1566] Their hands are smaller.

[1567] And even if they are big, they're not big like a big man is.

[1568] It's not fair.

[1569] And it's not, I'm not, I'm not trying to discriminate against women in any way or shape or form, and I'm a big supporter of women's fighting.

[1570] I loved watching that Ronda Rousey, Liz Karmouche fight.

[1571] But those are actual women.

[1572] Those are actual women.

[1573] And as strong as Ronda Rousey looks, she still looks to me like a pretty girl.

[1574] She's a beautiful girl who happens to be strong.

[1575] She's a girl.

[1576] This is not a girl.

[1577] Okay.

[1578] This is a transgender woman.

[1579] It's a totally different specification.

[1580] And this invites right away some of the usual stuff that haunts this kind of thing.

[1581] like women's bodybuilding, or women's boxing, women's fighting, or whatever.

[1582] Or how about some crazy dude who wants to beat the fuck out of chick so he gets his dick chopped off?

[1583] I mean, that's not outside the realm of possibility.

[1584] There's a lot of suicidal fucks out there.

[1585] There's a lot of people that are like on the edge.

[1586] Anyway, like getting your dick chopped up, you know you're going to pay attention to me?

[1587] Okay, I'll chop my dick off.

[1588] I'll be a girl for a while.

[1589] Like, there's people out there that are fucking crazy.

[1590] And you can't let them fight girls.

[1591] You just can't.

[1592] I agree.

[1593] I agree.

[1594] And is she trying to get into the real, the real fight game?

[1595] Well, yes.

[1596] She's doing, she's in the CFA, which is a smaller but legit organization.

[1597] I've heard of this organization.

[1598] And I think they actually broadcast on, sometimes they broadcast on cable television.

[1599] So you can watch this fight.

[1600] The CFA is a, you know, they're a legit like farm organization, I would say, or a B organization that has talented fighters, guys that are coming up.

[1601] and you know it's it's a it's a good organization i just don't i don't agree with the athletic commission letting this happen is the athletic commission letting something happen i don't know it either is that or they're doing these things on indian grounds if they do them in indian reservations which we used to do all the old mma fights like the king of the cage we used to have to go to watch those at indian reservation we used to go way out in the middle of nowhere a lot of them even took place outdoors and those days that you still can see in places that don't have sanctioning you still can see mma fights at indian reservations that go by like really wacky rules like you wear shoes and you know this guy hasn't trained at all and this guy's at 45 fights and you know those mismatches and stuff those can still take place because they don't have athletic commissions gotcha they might have athletic commissions they also might have a bunch of people that are on steroids and nobody testing like you don't really know what you're going to get because they're their own sort of sovereign nation you know when you're on indian uh land if you're on native american land when you're on a reservation that they essentially can make their own athletic commission even if it's illegal in california they were still holding fights on king of the cage all throughout that illegal time all of it was being done on indian reservations why uh why on indian reservations just because it's a sovereign state it's it's it's own country they want that's how they have casinos you know Why is the prostitution legal then on that?

[1602] I don't think they want that.

[1603] I don't think they want that.

[1604] There's not one crazy Indian out there that has a boner.

[1605] He's got his own hookers.

[1606] He's got his own stable.

[1607] Those guys have so much money, too.

[1608] But basically happened was, you know, the United States or, you know, the founding humans that traveled across the United States when they, like, essentially caused genocide on the North American, their Native American Indian population, they, what they did was they granted them some patches of land.

[1609] you know these reservations they they fucked them over they got smaller and smaller over the years but some of them still remained into the 20th century and that's when these guys said well this is our land right we have our own little nation what about a casino and yeah i guess you can do whatever you want so boom foxwoods all these different places where it was illegal to have casinos got tremendous success just putting casinos on these indian lands i remember yeah so if this chick fights on indian land i guess she can do they could do whatever you want i don't don't see the Nevada State Athletic Commission allowing a woman to fight a man, though.

[1610] Even a transgender woman is still man. It's so well known that, no, she's not going to.

[1611] There's a 50 -year -old guy that is in high school or in college, rather, playing women's basketball.

[1612] He's 50.

[1613] He's like six foot fucking something or another.

[1614] This guy's, he's six foot six foot six, okay?

[1615] And he's 230.

[1616] pounds.

[1617] He's a giant motherfucker and he's playing competitive basketball in these 18 to 20 year old women.

[1618] So he's in college, he's 50, he's got a dick hacked off so he's a woman now.

[1619] Oh, really?

[1620] Yes.

[1621] So he's a transgender woman competing against 18 to 20 year old college girls, actual normal college girls.

[1622] And is he beating him?

[1623] Of course he is.

[1624] He's fucking enormous.

[1625] These chicks are like 5 foot 1 and shit.

[1626] He's 6 -6 -230 pounds.

[1627] And there's nothing that anybody can say?

[1628] I don't know.

[1629] I don't understand it.

[1630] I don't know why anybody would ever allow that.

[1631] When it comes to competitive athletics, that's where you've got to draw the line.

[1632] You're allowed to wear makeup.

[1633] You're allowed to say your name is Shirley.

[1634] You're allowed to do whatever.

[1635] This is the guy.

[1636] Look at it.

[1637] See?

[1638] I mean, what the fuck, man?

[1639] Look at the giant hands on this woman.

[1640] That's not a woman.

[1641] That's a nightmare that's that's you you you sort of sober up and you realize this guy's in your kitchen going come on let's go in the bedroom and you're like wait a minute what put your penis put your penis inside of my penis you're like what's going on what it that's that's a nightmare and there's another photo of her actually playing basketball like with the women and it's so scary because she's so much bigger than the women that's where there's a reason why women play basketball yeah look at that man that's ridiculous beyond ridiculous there's a reason why women play with women it's because it's a fucking sport and they're the same size and no woman would ever get this tattoo a barb fence with a what is that a wolf it's like a lightning bolt with a shrunken head what is that it's a shrunken head that barbed wire thing yeah what is that monster face it looks like a wolf a wolf it is a wolf it's going to get a wolf and barbed wire right now what a crazy fuck on both arms it looks like yeah well two wolves the third one's on her tits yeah does she have fake tits who allows that why would they allow that someone at mission college you know it's the the mission college was in fremont california um i don't know how this is allowed i don't know how it happened they call her gabby i don't know and is gabby winning because if gabby's winning then you got an issue if it's easier if they're not well before she was gabby her name was robert john ludwig Jesus Christ What the fuck And not only that He's fucking 50 Wow I mean What a crazy old fuck Yeah what's he doing in college at the age of 50?

[1642] Well he probably always wanted to be a girl And always wanted to relive his life as a girl So he's going back to college And I don't know if there's like age restrictions For competitive sports in all colleges I mean I think it's certainly There isn't I guess not With this school's However this school rocks it At the age of 50 Come on.

[1643] They don't care if you can keep up with the team.

[1644] You used to train at a Benny the Jet Center in California, for a lot, didn't you?

[1645] Yeah, a number of years ago.

[1646] How do you know that?

[1647] I just started out there when I first came to California.

[1648] But they closed the place down because of the, I came right after the earthquakes.

[1649] Uh -huh.

[1650] But when the earthquakes, after everything settled down, there was so much roof damage that that place, when it rained in the winter, it just got fucked.

[1651] And so they had to get out of there.

[1652] So I was only there for, you know, as many months as it.

[1653] took before it started raining around here again and they realized how bad the damage really was in the roof and then they moved to north hollywood and i i trained there for a little while but it's just outside of my uh my distance where do you train now are you still trained yeah i have a disc issue of my back so i haven't been doing any jiu jihitsu for a few months i just been doing kickboxing i have a bulging disc sure enough and what does that bother you most time more times than not more in jujitsu than anything else i'm uh able to kick and punch and lift weights do a lot of things but getting my neck yanked on that's when it becomes a problem like when someone is trying to submit me or pull down on my neck it places a lot of pressure and it can pinch the nerves sure enough yeah that disc has always the jiu jutsu key out of there huh that's the that's the that's what always uh catches up from that hard form there discs definitely yeah a lot of guys have disc issues ricardo laborio scared the shit out of me he's a famous jujitsu guy he told me he has seven herniated discs I was like seven how many of them are there seven of them that are bulging out and pinching against nerves yeah they're pinching and he's walking yep is he in pain is he always in pain always in pain yeah he's always in pain and he doesn't compete anymore either he's a trainer he still rolls with guys but he's not uh he's not competing anymore he was a very high level Brazilian jihitsu competitor at one point in time and then became the coach one of the head coaches at an American top team but like his back is fucked this guys yeah how do you even get that fixed that that many discs i don't think you can slowly but surely there's there's ways to do it and one of the things that they're doing now is they're actually replacing the discs with an artificial disc and uh they screw it in place it's like a plastic spacer i've seen um them in person because uh one of the first guys to ever get it done to start competing again was a guy named nate quarry and uh Nate has uh these spacers where they they take out your disc and they screw this thing into the bone and it's like rigid in place where your disc used to be and it kind of gives a little it's made of like this plastic substance and is he able to rolls he's still able to fight fought four times with an artificial disc yeah he's had one artificial disc and i think he has two of his discs in his neck fused yeah it's craziness man that's a high price to pay it's not one guy either what's scaring the shit out of me is that before i was having back problems i heard about guys getting injured I heard about guys getting surgery.

[1654] I know Tito Ortiz had two surgeries like that.

[1655] He has a spacer in his back, as well as a fused disc in his neck.

[1656] But I didn't think about it in terms of, like, the overall sport until I got my own injury.

[1657] And then I started asking all sorts of people, like trainers and how many, do you have any problems with your back?

[1658] Yeah, I got three or any of discs.

[1659] Like, everybody has them.

[1660] You know, the disc issue is a real issue.

[1661] It's scary stuff.

[1662] It is.

[1663] And numb arms and stuff.

[1664] Sure.

[1665] And it's the one ticket that, uh, very few people do talk about huh yeah it's a problem i think it's a career changer is if you know when your back gets involved yeah i have lower back issues i have for many years yeah you bet do you do yoga um yeah but usually that's not the ticket to uh you know just helping you know no no it's uh usually it's a matter of strengthening that whole area got a whole wrap around where your hips are and getting good strong muscle and all the you know situps and backups and all in that area there because stretching it is kind of what pops them out.

[1666] Well, yes and no. The strengthening is very important.

[1667] You're absolutely right about that.

[1668] But one thing that you can do by stretching and by a lot of yoga exercise is you're sort of elongating your spine.

[1669] You can actually help relieve some of the compression that just comes from gravity and poor posture.

[1670] And you can actually strengthen good posture with a lot of the yoga poses.

[1671] Yoga has been very helpful for me while I've been going through this.

[1672] and a good, strong, like, yoga session, it alleviates a lot of stress in my back.

[1673] I feel like a lot of tension relaxed.

[1674] It feels much, much better.

[1675] What kind of yoga are you doing?

[1676] I do a little of that hot yoga.

[1677] Yeah?

[1678] Yeah, a little beak rims.

[1679] I do a bunch of different kinds.

[1680] In the room where they turn the heat up a lot?

[1681] I like that.

[1682] I do it at home by myself, too.

[1683] I have some DVDs that I follow.

[1684] Very cool.

[1685] Yeah, stretching is very, very important, you know?

[1686] You probably are the most flexible rock star in the history of the world.

[1687] What do you say?

[1688] Well, I do a lot of it.

[1689] Before it was yoga, we used to call it stretching.

[1690] Yeah, who else can throw those crazy kicks?

[1691] I mean, as a way of life, you know, staring at a little piece of floor and holding the position.

[1692] Well, when I was a Taekwondo competitor in my high school years and I was a huge Van Halen fan, I always took pride in the fact of David Lee Roth can throw some fucking kicks.

[1693] There you go.

[1694] You can throw some legit shit.

[1695] And then I was like, oh, shit, he trains at the jet center.

[1696] Yep.

[1697] Like the jet center for kickboxers was like back in the day, it was Mecca.

[1698] Yep.

[1699] Benny Arkita is at one point in time was the man when it came to kickboxing in America.

[1700] I got really lucky in that I always used my celebrity as a passport to meet people to get involved in school and learn from those folks.

[1701] Right.

[1702] And all the stuff, you know, the people that you're mentioning, I still use their warm -up tips.

[1703] I still use those training ideas and how I eat and everything.

[1704] Really, it's been the balance for me. Are you really careful with your diet?

[1705] You're obviously fit.

[1706] I call it a crocodile, like a crocodile.

[1707] It's mostly birds and whatever kind of greenery comes with it.

[1708] Occasionally a fish gets in there.

[1709] But mostly his chickens and turkeys.

[1710] A wounded antelope that fucks up, it gets too close to the waterhole.

[1711] Chickens and turkeys and greenery and whatever falls in with it.

[1712] Not a meat fan?

[1713] I love it.

[1714] Not so much anymore.

[1715] Got to really watch out.

[1716] Do you find health -wise, there's repercussions to eat meat?

[1717] Oh, yeah.

[1718] You bet, man. You can't outrun that cheeseburger.

[1719] Okay, cheeseburgers, right.

[1720] What about, like, grass -fed beef or anything like that?

[1721] You have to be so careful because, you know, the mistake that most of us make is, oh, well, my pants size hasn't changed since junior college, so I'll just continue with the diet.

[1722] But then your metabolism slows down, and, you know, you've got to watch out because you'll be eating a lot of red meat or things that are like you know whatever french fries etc and thinking that because your pants size hasn't changed that you're in front of it and that ain't the case you can't outrun it you got to balance out what you eat with how much you actually train do you ever talk to a nutritionist do you like read books on anything that's oh yeah yeah i've been through many nutritionists my sister was a nutritionist for many years you don't really have to worry too much about red meat you know with red meat the real The issue with red meat is people that are fat and people that are not exercising and people that are, especially if you're eating a lot of corn -fed meat, there's a lot of fat and corn -fed meat.

[1723] But meat itself, as long as it's in moderation, especially grass -fed meat, is actually pretty good for you.

[1724] I love red meat.

[1725] Game, especially, wild game.

[1726] The issue with grass -fed meat, like people, well, what's the big deal with grass -fed?

[1727] It tastes different.

[1728] Well, it doesn't just taste different.

[1729] It's a healthier animal.

[1730] First of all, animals are not supposed to be eaten corn.

[1731] Cows are not naturally designed to eat corn And in fact, watch the movie Food Inc. If you're curious about that.

[1732] Oh, I think I've seen that.

[1733] It's terrible.

[1734] It's terrible for their bodies.

[1735] And that's what makes them so fucking fat and delicious when you slap them bitches down on a grill and it's that rib -eye steak and all that fat.

[1736] But it's not nearly as healthy for you as grass -fed meat.

[1737] Grass -fed beef is actually, it actually aids your body in burning fat.

[1738] Grass -fed beat for athletic performance is far superior to corn -fed meat.

[1739] You're eating a healthy animal as opposed to a second.

[1740] animal and it's just going to be just more nutritious there's there's more vitamins in it there's more nutrients it's it's far better for you and it tastes different um it's less fatty so it's not quite as tender but i like it i like it more i prefer like the taste of grass fed meat and the taste of wild game to fatty like corn fed beef because i know what's going on that said every now and then we'll in and out three by three with some fries Yeah, but what about like Double, double.

[1741] I go three by three.

[1742] I figure if I'm going to eat in a burger, I'm going to have three patties.

[1743] Fuck it.

[1744] What about, though, like cholesterol, though?

[1745] Cholesterol is only an issue again.

[1746] If you are not monitoring it, if you're not watching your diet, if you have some hereditary issues.

[1747] And if you're not exercising on a regular basis, you've got to create a nuclear blast furnace that everything gets tossed into.

[1748] And the only way to do that is to put your body in this constant state of recovery.

[1749] You're constantly breaking it down and constantly recovering it.

[1750] So your body is constantly in the state where it knows it has to perform athletically.

[1751] It has to burn off flesh.

[1752] It's not going to waste any effort.

[1753] It's not going to waste any energy, rather.

[1754] You're going to make sure that when you're taking in nutrients, they get absorbed.

[1755] As soon as you get sedentary, and then you're eating, like, massive amounts of animal protein, and then your body is just pooling up with fats.

[1756] And what's even worse for you, honestly, is fucking carbohydrates.

[1757] carbohydrates in massive quantities like most people eat them especially like sugars like you're talking about like ice cream and cake and so that stuff is just clogging you it's terrible for you it's in fact sugar is like really like a mild toxin it's not good for you in any way shape or form it's not so it's not so mild yeah a good a good wallop of sugar are you kidding and some caffeine and you can get a lot done but it tastes yummy yeah yeah Yeah.

[1758] I mean, it's hard to get past that.

[1759] How do we turn it to a nutrition conversation with David Lee Roth?

[1760] Because I wanted to know because you're fit and you're energetic.

[1761] And I wanted to know if you're like, but you're still smoking marlbrose.

[1762] Yeah, they have occasion.

[1763] Get contradictions.

[1764] What to do, what to do?

[1765] Do you find that in Japan?

[1766] It's easier to maintain a healthy diet because they have a much less fatty diet over there than we do in America.

[1767] It's so easy to Stevie Wonder it.

[1768] You don't have to look around at all.

[1769] You put you, it's insensitive, I know, but you put your hand over your eyes and just point.

[1770] We will be pointing somewhere that is reasonable to eat, you know.

[1771] Like I said, my diet is basically, you know, birds and fish and, you know, rice and, you know, beans and the clean stuff.

[1772] In Japan, there's 3 ,000 variations of that.

[1773] 3 ,000 variations of noodle soup.

[1774] There's 3 ,000 variations of chicken on a stick.

[1775] I remember something you said to me at the comedy store.

[1776] I've never forgot.

[1777] I thought it was so funny.

[1778] You were talking about chicks, about groupies, like really, really hot chicks that were fans, and about how, like, we're living in the Stairmaster era.

[1779] You're like, these gals are in their 40s, and they look sensational.

[1780] Like, nobody ever saw this before.

[1781] You were like, you say, your mom's 40.

[1782] It's true, right?

[1783] Yes, it is true.

[1784] It's a different era.

[1785] Oh, it's a hugely different era.

[1786] And in Japan, you know, we were talking about yoga and women think nothing of going to a Bikram yoga session in the hot box with complete face makeup and complete hairdo, et cetera.

[1787] In Japan they do that?

[1788] Totally.

[1789] The gyms are full.

[1790] The women get dressed up like they're going to a fashion place.

[1791] Wow.

[1792] 100 % of the time.

[1793] Is they trying to hook up?

[1794] Is that what it is?

[1795] Trying to put out the signal?

[1796] I think, first off, in a country where virtually everybody has the same color hair.

[1797] it's probably a little more difficult, you know, to stand out.

[1798] Right.

[1799] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[1800] And think about it.

[1801] Virtually everybody's got a black haircut in there.

[1802] So, you know, right away, you've got your work cut out for you a little bit there.

[1803] A little face paint goes a long way.

[1804] Oh, hell yeah.

[1805] What if you found out that that's not common practice?

[1806] They're only doing it because they found out David Lee Roth was taking yoga there.

[1807] And these bitches are like, this is the hookup.

[1808] This is, this haunts me. This is not the first that I've had to examine.

[1809] this idea is it weird being that famous for so long I mean how do you you're such an easy going guy I mean it's one of the things that impressed me the most when I met at you at the comedy store you are the most normal like regular down -to -earth guy if someone didn't know you they would never know that you're like one of the biggest rock stars in the history of music you're a regular guy like the way you're here you didn't come with an entourage you just showed up by yourself like hey what's up you're like you're normal you know that's how the fuck did you maintain that i get the balance the balance is uh you know a lot of what we're talking about like in the martial arts and travel and whatnot is i'm a beginner i'm not the boss i'm not the alpha male you follow when i go to a train in a class i'm not the shot caller at all um and i've always had that i like uh people in a general sense can being conversant being able to have conversation to tell stories and carry on I was a big part of what I do for a living you got to be a people watcher and if the world is constantly watching you then everybody alters their behavior you got to be able to kind of fit in the way a good reporter might you know thinking like if you were a wartime reporter you don't want to wear bright colors you want to just sort of fit in blend right in and always be there just a couple inches behind going, you know, I got a couple of questions.

[1810] If you got a second here, can I ask you about that tank over there?

[1811] That's a remarkable balance.

[1812] You've been able to pull that off because most rock stars when you meet them, they're just so removed from the general public.

[1813] It makes the conversation a little awkward.

[1814] It would make it really awkward, I would think, in, you know, in terms of what do you have that's mutual?

[1815] What do you know in your life that's mutual what are the fascinations you know what are what what are your interests you know because that can be pretty pretty diverse you got to have a pretty diverse taste in things yeah but your your whole personality is such a different sort of take on things like i don't know a lot of people that would just go to japan for 10 months like that and how old you 58 years old boom you just fly to japan for a fucking year that's not a lot of dude learning out a sword fight.

[1816] I mean, it's fucking crazy.

[1817] Yeah, it's, it's, it's eccentric to a degree.

[1818] Single, not tied down at all.

[1819] Do whatever the fuck you want to do.

[1820] Yep.

[1821] You like a goddamn Leonard Skitton song.

[1822] You're like the breeze.

[1823] You don't give a fuck.

[1824] You're just out there.

[1825] I mean, as free as a bird.

[1826] I mean, like legitimately, man, that's admirable.

[1827] And you're loving it.

[1828] Look at you.

[1829] You can't be happier.

[1830] It's not possible to be happier than you.

[1831] I idle somewhere between not too pissed and somewhat pissed that's how you idle no you're bullshit you said that earlier it's like you're saying that you're hard to work with I don't think I'm hard to work with frankly no I'm not hard to work with I bet you're hard to change I bet you fight against someone trying to manipulate or direct you I remember when we were picking for a jury recently about hey well it's a year ago and they were picking for a murder trial over in the Pasadena courthouse and the fellow says is there anybody here who isn't going to get themselves disqualified?

[1832] Is there anybody here who's qualified to try this case?

[1833] And I was the only one who raised his hand.

[1834] Really?

[1835] Yeah.

[1836] So, you know, I'm willing to listen.

[1837] And the guy says, okay, sir, he says, I think I know who you are.

[1838] He says, or would you listen to everybody else's idea behind while you're deliberating on this trial?

[1839] I said, certainly.

[1840] He said, but you would try to convince them they were wrong if you had another idea, right?

[1841] And I said, yes, that's accurate.

[1842] And you dismissed me because of that.

[1843] You're too charismatic.

[1844] You're too charismatic.

[1845] You'd manipulate it in your favor.

[1846] Well, you're the lever.

[1847] You're the lever on the bench.

[1848] Certainly not my one, my first time in the Pasadena courthouse.

[1849] You know, when our first time was, is Alex Van Halen and I had to sue the Mayfield School of the Holy Child of Jesus Incorporated for $125.

[1850] This was in 1975, I think, 1976.

[1851] 125, what was that about?

[1852] Well, it was in a contract.

[1853] We had played a dance.

[1854] And in the one -page contract, it said there will be no smoking backstage.

[1855] There will be no marijuana consumed.

[1856] There will be no drinking.

[1857] et cetera, et cetera.

[1858] And one of the sisters, was nuns at the time, claimed that she smelled pot smoke backstage and refused to pass our $125 for the band.

[1859] Angry bitch.

[1860] Was she right?

[1861] Well, no, there was no pot smoke backstage.

[1862] So she just made it up?

[1863] She may have smelled Marlboroughs, you know.

[1864] Actually, those were camel filters.

[1865] But Alex and I went, we bought clip -on ties so we could fool the judge.

[1866] And we tied our hair back, and we went to small claims court and filed.

[1867] Did you win?

[1868] Well, what happened was sat in front of the judge.

[1869] We sat on one side, and on the other side, two sisters, two nuns came in, and a family, a father, a mother, and three of the daughters in school uniforms.

[1870] You know, they played it up hard.

[1871] And the judge says, who filed here?

[1872] I said, sir, I did.

[1873] It's $125.

[1874] and there was no smoking of anything illegal backstage, whatever.

[1875] And he had one of the nuns stand up, and she said, I refused to pay him because I smelled marijuana smoke.

[1876] And the judge says, what is your answer to that, sir?

[1877] And I stood up and I said, sister, how do you know what marijuana smoke smells like?

[1878] $125 later.

[1879] Pay for the t -shirt.

[1880] Yeah, how would you?

[1881] you know.

[1882] Silly bitch.

[1883] Did you know that that's what they used to have in those incense things when the priest walks down the aisle?

[1884] No. Yeah.

[1885] They used to use cannabis.

[1886] Yeah.

[1887] They used to use cannabis oil.

[1888] They used to use cannabis oil underneath their religious hats.

[1889] Yeah, it's common practice.

[1890] I did not know that.

[1891] It was used as a sacrament for a lot of different religions.

[1892] I did not know that.

[1893] I thought it was like incense or something.

[1894] Yeah, it is now, you know.

[1895] Yeah.

[1896] Yeah, but there's a lot of evidence that cannabis was used in that way.

[1897] Has Dave Grohl ever contacted you about, there was a rumor going back a couple months ago that if they ever put together Nirvana, that they would want you as the lead singer.

[1898] Did you even hear about this, or did they ever even contact you about that?

[1899] Well, there's a whole lot of noise backstage going on at these affairs, okay?

[1900] And what started it was there was a picture of me with the Jonas Brothers at a Christmas party.

[1901] And the rumor got started that I was actually going to be in the Jonas Brothers.

[1902] So I helped to fuel that rumor.

[1903] Did you?

[1904] Yes, I did.

[1905] Did you ever meet Kurt?

[1906] Were you a fan of Nirvana?

[1907] Let's stick with the Jonas Brothers.

[1908] Oh, snap.

[1909] No, I did not know.

[1910] No, the fellas at the time.

[1911] I'm since met Dave, but I don't know the grunge movement so well.

[1912] But the rumors started backstage at the Henson Recording Studio at a Christmas party.

[1913] And then a number of people started getting involved in it, you know.

[1914] Did you spread that rumor at all as well?

[1915] I did.

[1916] I put that on the internet.

[1917] Who am I to get in the way of a good rumor?

[1918] Now, if someone wants to watch a show, what is the...

[1919] the best way to is it on iTunes?

[1920] Yeah, iTunes .com the Roth Show, Davidlyroth .com, the website.

[1921] You can find this pretty easily here.

[1922] Yeah, so I'm on Davidlyroth .com.

[1923] What is this?

[1924] This photograph.

[1925] What is that of?

[1926] It's just the latest photo.

[1927] That's something from New York City.

[1928] What is that thing you're standing in?

[1929] It's actually a table.

[1930] Somebody built a table by the water.

[1931] It's kind of odd looking, huh?

[1932] It's a dope picture.

[1933] And your show is also on YouTube as well.

[1934] Yep.

[1935] So you can, how many episodes have you done so far?

[1936] Ooh, we're up to, I think, number 11, and we just passed two and a half million downloads.

[1937] So it's time to talk about it.

[1938] Powerful, beautiful.

[1939] It's off and running.

[1940] Yep.

[1941] Well, we'll get some people on it, man. Go now, ladies and gentlemen, go check out, David Lee Roth .com.

[1942] Go.

[1943] Go on iTunes, subscribe.

[1944] Go on YouTube, subscribe, listen, watch, learn, take it all in, bitches.

[1945] You've been blessed.

[1946] We need to go to Japan and visit.

[1947] Okay.

[1948] Well, you know what?

[1949] I'll probably go if they have a UFC pay -per -view there again.

[1950] The UFC is doing very well in Japan.

[1951] So if we do, we'll party, man. I'll bring you down there.

[1952] We'll get some sushi together.

[1953] We'll have a fucking vegetable shinding.

[1954] We'll have a great time.

[1955] Eat like crocodiles.

[1956] Watch some dudes kick some ass.

[1957] Hopefully no dudes with no dicks with beat -up chicks.

[1958] I'll have to eat my words.

[1959] Imagine if I have to call a transgender versus a woman.

[1960] Just meeting these people.

[1961] they're going to be pissed well listen man i told them i support your right to be that person i have no problem with you and your choices but can't be knocking out chicks 20 seconds that's like that sounds like what it would be if a guy was fighting a chick yeah i hear about a 20 second knockout yeah that sounds about right you're beating up girls you fuck anyway powerful davidly roth thank you thank you it's been an honor this was a blast this is we were looking forward to this for weeks we're so psyched about today and uh it was as good as he could have like could possibly ask for you ever want to do it again man please anytime you tell me i'll fucking we'll start this bitch up in the middle of the night for you we'll come down here crank it over standing david lee roth on twitter david lee roth dot com go take it all in you fucks uh thanks to hover for uh sponsoring our show go to hover dot com forward slash rogan and get 10 % off your domain name registrations thanks also to square space if you go to square space .com forward slash joe you can check it all out and if you use the offer code joe 2 you can get 10 % off your first purchase on new accounts remember if you can go there you try it out you don't even have to pay for it when you try it out you start building a website if you like it you decide to purchase use the offer code joe 2 and get 10 % off all right we will see you guys back to no this friday night this friday night with theoretical physicist, Dr. Amit Goswami, I hope I'm saying his name right, but he is a fascinating, fascinating man, and he's going to talk to us about the nature of reality and matter and string theory, and it's, you're going to, you're going to want to take notes and you're going to want to be high as fuck, okay?

[1962] We'll see you guys Friday.

[1963] God bless and jihad to you all.