#211 - Ari Shaffir (Part 2)

[0] And we're back to wrap it up.

[1] We just stepped outside, sacrificed the sacred plant to the fire gods.

[2] And we try to just put Brian in a better state of mind.

[3] I think you feel like a lot of people are attacking you.

[4] I get attacked a lot nowadays.

[5] I know you do.

[6] We talked about that earlier, but we're not attacking you.

[7] And one of the things that I think that's real important that I brought up earlier is be generous to a point where it's indefensible.

[8] be generous to a point where you know people know that what you're doing is you're doing it all for the right reasons.

[9] I think if you're a listener you know that already, what I do for comedy and that was the one thing I started screaming at Duncan was like, you don't understand how much I do for comics.

[10] My free time is devoted to 100 % of doing shit for free for other comics.

[11] Now, if they don't see that?

[12] I would tell you what that sound.

[13] I would tell you this though, but there's a lot of clubs over the years that have had this theory that, well, you're lucky to be getting the stage time.

[14] And a part of comedians, we don't respect ourselves, so we're like, Absolutely.

[15] You're absolutely right.

[16] But that other part is like, fuck.

[17] Yeah, but I'm also not driving to Pasadena, fucking editing audio software for you.

[18] I'm not fucking doing all this shit.

[19] That's not the same as saying like, yeah, you should be happy to be in the script.

[20] What you're doing is, listen, this is what you're doing.

[21] You set up a beautiful thing.

[22] That ain't bad.

[23] There's nothing wrong with it.

[24] And, you know, when I ask you about how many shows you want, just to sort of illuminate people as to what you're doing.

[25] I like what you're doing.

[26] I like a lot of shows that come out of what you're doing.

[27] But I think.

[28] think that we have to always be very careful that if there's any money that's ever taking place in any sort of a thing where you're selling comedy comedians get super defensive and super sensitive when you're selling a show and the comics are going to go up and do their stand -up and they're not going to get compensated from it but yet they know that money is exchanging hands if it was a show that people didn't use as a workout room for the most part these are people that are just like fucking around like not not actually like I'm selling and plus the fact that there's like seven or eight people usually on each one of these shows.

[29] I think it's a little different than if I were like, hey, me, Ari, and you are doing a show at the Hollywood Improv.

[30] Well, you wouldn't get to do that.

[31] First of all, the reason why you get to control this money at all is because I gave it to you, because I don't, I'm not paying you to rent that place out.

[32] And since that, I'm like, look, I'll give you all my money from my shows.

[33] Right.

[34] So the shows you do.

[35] For the shows you do, yes.

[36] It shows I do, or 90 % of the shows I go on there.

[37] Well, I do them every week.

[38] You say you're not there.

[39] There's a lot.

[40] Okay, let's not say 90s.

[41] It's more than half, more than half, and it's more than than pays the rent.

[42] Right.

[43] The idea being that I think when a comic knows that you're, even if you're only making a hundred and fifty bucks to a comic that's like, why doesn't he make 50 and give us 50?

[44] That's how they think.

[45] You're selling stand -up comedy.

[46] This is why the fact that you guys are doing all this, to me, I'm like, all right, bottom line, each one of these shows for going in there and being there for, for five hours for going in there and putting together all these comics putting up advertising and making posters for it.

[47] All this shit.

[48] You should get something for that.

[49] All this shit if it's not worth $150.

[50] If it's not worth $150 and I'm not doing it.

[51] If I'm getting this much trouble for $150, fuck it then.

[52] Wait, but hold on, hold on.

[53] At $15 bucks a ticket, $150, even at 60%.

[54] I'm saying the average after, I'm saying the average after tax that I get after paying the host in comics or whatever is usually about $150 bucks.

[55] Well look if you're spending money paying the comics and you feel good about that and you can you know you could sit down with them and say look I'm paying you know what the only reason what it is it's whoever you heard it from or whatever whispers you heard it from and Duncan for some reason who's been on one show I think yeah but Duncan's been on one show I think we like it we like the 15 bucks we get at the comedy store right yeah it's just like oh cool it's something nominal to say I get it you want it I get it but I'm just saying that after that I know what you're saying you're saying that you're saying that you're doing it's not worth it to me I don't give a shit but you're saying you doing a good thing by creating the spot for them to warm up and they don't appreciate that and that if you're not at least getting something out of it like 150 bucks you're not going to just doing it honestly you know how hard it is like devoting you like almost every Friday to being somewhere and on fact of that being on there for like five or six hours that's called a job I completely understand the the worst night ever but to comedians they're also doing a job too and they're also selling something valuable their work and their material and they know that even if though you are putting together a promotion the promoter shouldn't be the only one that's getting money out of it no and they don't well we need to work that out that should be an indefatible position it should be each one of the comics that come on it either goes hey can I get $20 I'm like okay I'm not gonna well you want them to ask for money no if you are somebody that are like no I think I need to be paid I think I need to deserve compared to me way to say this.

[56] Yeah, but compared to me, I will do almost any show for free.

[57] I never care about fucking money at all.

[58] Okay, Brian, but you're fair - in L. In L .A. $1 .50.

[59] What's that?

[60] Hold on.

[61] Just so you know, $30 to an MC is 20 paid tickets after taxes.

[62] I get it.

[63] But for comedy, I don't want to get paid for the most part.

[64] I don't think that I need to be getting.

[65] I have fun.

[66] So then why don't you give out this money to people?

[67] Huh?

[68] Why don't you give them 20 bucks a piece?

[69] Give them 40 bucks a piece.

[70] That's what I do.

[71] But you have.

[72] No, you haven't.

[73] I haven't gotten that since the first time we did that show.

[74] Why do you think that?

[75] But that was what you were saying.

[76] You said you only paid the hosts.

[77] No, I paid host in any comics that I know like, you know, like Esther.

[78] How many people have asked for money?

[79] Okay, but just because they're poor doesn't mean there's less or more deserving of that money.

[80] No one.

[81] If I do a spot for 15 minutes, I don't care if you do a spot for 15 minutes too, Joe.

[82] I don't deserve that more or less than him.

[83] No, no one, the only time I really ever pay somebody is if I know for these shows.

[84] If I know this person would appreciate it you know like like dude thank you so much man you know i fucking have no money and stuff like that but when it's somebody that's pretty comfortable like like i feel like i'm very average pace kind of like if it's something like me because it's pretty comfortable i don't want you to pay me and i i'm not doing it for money and and this is your decision this show this show has always been like when hey i got this room in the ice house you want to do it it's like a workout room i don't i consider this more like do you want to come to a really good audience at a workout room yeah well then here's here's what you should do not a show charge no cover tell the tell the ice house hey give me 150 bucks i'll pack this place charge no cover and there's no problem absolutely that's a great idea terrible idea no great idea because you know why i take my door i'm not in for money i'm not in for money i'm not in for money i charge five bucks and i keep it as low as possible anybody who asked for a comp i give it to him and i still give the rest of charity not in because i don't want the responsibility somebody else can completely do the desk a desk squad show there but brine it's very difficult to say you're not in it for money and then say you need a certain amount of money or you won't do it because it in my opinion uh if if i had to be asked hey every friday you have the work you'd put into it yeah if you have to go here you have to sit here and record you know so how many yeah and then and then and these those podcasts usually go from like three to five hours uh not the podcast because some people don't oh those podcasts the podcast the move is to put it all in the hands of the ice house give the ice house the contact numbers for all the people that want to well that's what i do that's what i do that's what i do that whenever I don't want to do it.

[85] They pay their headliners 100 bucks, those ice house people.

[86] Do they really?

[87] Well, it's, you got to think.

[88] It was always a thing, 100 bucks for headliners, except when you or Gabriel would come in.

[89] These comedy clubs aren't making that much fucking money.

[90] They're not doing that way.

[91] They have to, you mean, they have to.

[92] It's true.

[93] That place especially has got so much history behind it.

[94] That place has been around for 50 plus years.

[95] It's such a great place.

[96] But I think that we've got to be real considerate of, of comics and the fact that comics have a legitimate gripe when it comes to worrying about someone making money.

[97] I mean, it has to be explained, I think, in a thoughtful matter, and not in this knee -jerk, sort of angry, yelly, sort of shouty type of way.

[98] Like, and perhaps other people when you don't even come to me and talk to me. I thought we're friends.

[99] Fuck you, Duncan Trussell.

[100] Oh, come on, man. See, this is, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

[101] This is...

[102] Fuck, Duncan Trusson.

[103] Stop, man. Stop.

[104] Look, this is this kind of...

[105] Why?

[106] Because he's...

[107] Yeah.

[108] Because he's, you know what?

[109] I'm just done.

[110] I've done so much for that dude, and he just pretty much attacked me. I was like, fuck him well you know what if he had no point no place to stand if he had no he should if he had no point if he had no place to to talk to you about this there was no argument there then it would be it would have no impact the reason why it has somewhat of an impact is because it is an arguable position is there any ever way to talk about it where someone says let's just say this argument say hey so -and -so you should pay this much money to so -and -so and instead of going like what the fuck i do this and this instead of going that i go well hmm let me think about that why should i or shouldn't I pay this person this much money or less money or more money and just have a nice conversation about it.

[111] Yeah.

[112] That's why I don't think it's worth it to me. Well, I think you took on a job that you didn't quite know how much time it was going to take.

[113] I did just go on stage.

[114] It's a lot of effort.

[115] Let them go on stage.

[116] Just to call the people and schedule the times and have them come in.

[117] How many $15?

[118] I wouldn't do it.

[119] I went from going to doing open mics with a lot of these people that I have on these shows or just going to like different clubs and doing stage time and never doing real shows with these people you know so when I decided to take on this crazy shit it was more like hey I got this access to this room I can make a show and we get all together and we could have a show once a week and be cool right and it was never it was never financed for fun absolutely the real problem is one of the things we were talking about that when we had this conversation with Madrigal and you and they're at the ice house those nights were like one of the things we were all saying is like and we'll just take the money not not them we will will be us but how much how many tickets would you have to sell to get 150 dollars at 15 bucks a piece average average i think that thing holds 75 or something like that sometimes they stuff in a lot okay so 10 so 10 people and you only get you'll take taxes out of that so you only get 60 % of that of that huh i'm trying to think how many tickets you would have to sell to go over that 150 mark that you normally i have no idea i don't know i don't get 100 % of the door you get 60 % of the door i think so something like that dude i don't want to talk about any any of this shit anyway because I think I literally don't want to talk about I made a mistake as well and I just handed it over to you because the first couple of shows I was getting paid for it but when I just handed it over to you I should have said let's sit down and figure out where this should go and that we should have the rent paid for and the insurance it's the you know what to me it's to me it's not even worth it to me I'll go I'll go somewhere else for once a week and do comedy somewhere else and enjoy myself and not get paid for it and just have fun and not the last thing I do is like thank you so much for let me have the same stage time fucking you should pay me what the fuck I'm right talking about that's not the way people are saying it they're saying Brian's gonna be one of those guys that it's not paying comedians yeah but it just feels like you feel like tact all the time that's because I am attacked have you not been looking at Twitter I'm getting attacked by fucking Jay Moore I'm getting attacked by Duncan Trussell I'm getting attacked by fucking just block Jay Moore on Twitter and it's never a problem getting attacked by everybody what does that mean attacked what does that even mean not exactly what does that mean they're saying a thing they don't to you.

[120] I'm going to fucking do this to you.

[121] I'm going to do that to you.

[122] There's a path.

[123] There's a path with least resistance out there.

[124] I know it.

[125] It's kind of bringing it up on a podcast and getting into it so everyone knows about this.

[126] And thanks a lot, guys.

[127] What are you talking about?

[128] Ryan, what are you talking about, man?

[129] You make it impossible to talk to you about anything when you react this way.

[130] You turn this into some crazy situation that it's not.

[131] You know, I can understand you don't want it to book a comedy show.

[132] I can understand it being a tremendous time -consuming thing.

[133] I don't want it.

[134] well listen let's all talk about this and figure out a way where we can have a show that the ice house books let's they're professionals that's what they do you know what i'm going to ice house chronicles and uh i will make it just you know some other thing i'll make it just like a green room while somebody else can do the room and have i'll have nothing to do with that room so brian just you know this reaction we're getting from you is the normal reaction we get from you when you bring something up so does that make it more likely for us to bring things up to you or less likely no i tell you why because Because honestly, I am so fucking busy that I don't even need to deal with any of this.

[135] You know, I would rather just do this podcast, be happy, do everyone else's podcast, be happy, and not have something that's such a big deal that I thought was just helping friends out.

[136] I think you got a good point.

[137] I think you got a good point in that.

[138] I think it is a lot more responsibility and a little extra thing that you have to chew on every week.

[139] And I think it can still be done and done through the ice house.

[140] This way, the Ice House pays people and we'll set aside a chunk of it so you can get paid for running the Ice House Chronicles for all the shows going on.

[141] Plus pay the guy.

[142] You can still get the guy $40.

[143] You know what?

[144] Or I can just do the exact same thing I was doing.

[145] And any comic that wants to get paid, I'll give them money.

[146] Oh, man. You can't ask people to ask for money.

[147] No, I don't.

[148] You know what all I do?

[149] Half the time I go, hey, you want some cash?

[150] And then they go, no, dude.

[151] And I'm like, okay.

[152] Okay.

[153] Well, those people.

[154] How many times did that happen?

[155] Cool.

[156] A lot more.

[157] then you would think, R .A. Well, you've never done that to me. I've got to get out of here.

[158] You've never offered me when I've turned out.

[159] Don't worry about it.

[160] It's not stupid.

[161] People are talking about it.

[162] You don't want to become one of those guys.

[163] It doesn't pay people.

[164] I don't even feel like talking about it.

[165] I know, you don't.

[166] That's why it's hard to bring up.

[167] That's why saying I'd like to get paid.

[168] It's a hard thing to bring up.

[169] It isn't boring.

[170] To me, podcasts should be entertaining.

[171] Not like, hey, let's bust open Brian and fucking see why he's thinking about financial shit.

[172] No one's trying to bust you open.

[173] Open on a podcast.

[174] if we were at a fucking restaurant we could talk about all this I don't feel like doing about this on a podcast sorry I bring stuff up to you outside of podcast Let's talk about your fucking paychecks Let's talk about how you do for a living It's very understandable Brian But you understand that you get into this like really angry defensive position with people that aren't even attacking you Okay Do you understand that you do that sometimes Listen man It's avoidable sometimes You can talk in a rational tone I mean and I've been guilty of it as well All the drama that's happening in your life it's easily avoidable.

[175] There's fights to the death with like seven people right now.

[176] Some of it's avoided all that.

[177] Brian, what you're doing is a great thing.

[178] What are you doing with your podcast network for those guys?

[179] Those ice show are great.

[180] Those chronicle shows are great.

[181] I'll drive out there just to do it.

[182] Yeah.

[183] And what you said about like Freddie Lockhart like needing the network to get them on?

[184] That is true.

[185] It is all true.

[186] Should they lead with you every time say, hey, just so you know you do a lot of great things for me, but I like to bring up this one thing?

[187] Is without help?

[188] If you don't, if you guys don't think that what I do helps comedy or helps comedy?

[189] It does.

[190] comics.

[191] It does.

[192] You're reading as any negative comment as you must hate it.

[193] If you think there's a better Desquod idea, I would gladly change the name of Desquot to something just to make you happy.

[194] Dude, it's not even that.

[195] It's, Desquad is you.

[196] You're a part of Desquad.

[197] You know, all of our friends are part of Desquad.

[198] The fact that you and Duncan don't talk right now is disgusting.

[199] You know what?

[200] And that's called trimming fat.

[201] He's done a few things in the past that I've let go.

[202] And you know what?

[203] I don't need that guy.

[204] I've helped that dude so many times.

[205] And, you know, I've been on his podcast once.

[206] well listen Duncan is no perfect person but I love that guy to death I'm no perfect person either and neither are you I think we can avoid these kind of conversations in the future if we just calm down a little bit man and what I said about being being inarguably you don't have to be an arguably generous you can have a straight deal with people you don't have to say I'm going to give you all my profits and not saying all the profits I'm saying completely reasonable why are we talking about this on a podcast is that's what I'm talking about we should be talking about fucking farts in Olive Garden We don't have to talk about only farts in all of garden, Brian.

[207] It's nothing wrong with, this is a good conversation for all of us.

[208] You know, it's a good conversation for me to understand that sometimes you don't feel like you're getting enough credit for all the work you're doing for all those guys that are on your network.

[209] You've built this platform where a lot of people find you.

[210] Find people because of that platform you've built up.

[211] And I've been very supportive of it, Brian, and I've been trying to help it.

[212] And I talk about it all the time on this podcast and tell people to subscribe to it.

[213] And I tell people to subscribe to it on Twitter.

[214] And it's the only way to get it.

[215] The Ice House Chronicles is to go through Death Squad.

[216] No one's trying to stop it.

[217] It doesn't mean everything you've ever done with it is completely the right way to go.

[218] You have to be able to bring up something in order to get better.

[219] Yeah, we're not trying to stop anything.

[220] Just talking.

[221] The ice house thing can all be worked out.

[222] And I think it's a huge burden on your back too financially when it comes to the figuring out who gets paid and taking taxes out and shit.

[223] It's just not worth it.

[224] That's not worth it.

[225] I just wanted to do comedy.

[226] Well, we can still.

[227] I'll tell you what you avoid, if you slap everybody 10 bucks, then they'll I'll tell you.

[228] It would be great.

[229] You know what?

[230] I just need an employee to go and actually do that for me. All right.

[231] We'll talk about this after the podcast.

[232] We need to hire you an assistant.

[233] So let's get going with that.

[234] That Asian guy.

[235] What does he do?

[236] That guy, he's gone with the wind.

[237] Dust in the wind.

[238] All we are is dust in the wind.

[239] I'm sorry if this was uncomfortable, ladies of gentlemen.

[240] Very uncomfortable, but unnecessarily uncomfortable.

[241] It didn't have to be.

[242] And Brian needs to know that we all love him.

[243] He's doing a good thing.

[244] I think that's what it is.

[245] You don't realize that people still like you if I mentioned any sort of critique but they still do like you last thoughts Brian please be positive last thoughts Brian uh fuck Duncan trussle oh come on how dare you after all that you go you go to fuck Duncan trussle yep come on let's think of something positive how to end this positive uh goodbye r a shirt is awesome it's not for sale yet oh yeah in two weeks or something like that summarize this Brian wrap it up bring it all home bring it all home in a positive way the fans know no it's not a contest there's no fight don't make fights yeah what do you mean the fans know they know how much I work for you guys they know how much you work for us guys you're an interesting guy Brian they know they know the time I put in doing all this shit yeah everybody knows the time you put into it Brian it's not bad right so you wouldn't say I'm stealing from comics would you Brian I've never said you're stealing from comments.

[246] I know you did, because he did.

[247] When Duncan said that, he was out of line, and he was upset at you because he was making an argument about South by Southwest, and he didn't feel that you should have been interjecting what you were saying when his, our whole argument was about they offered him to come out there and not pay him.

[248] It's a silly, emotional thing between two guys that got dragged out in a public way that was unfortunate and unnecessary.

[249] He shouldn't have done that.

[250] You acted in a very, you know, angry and, you know, fucking.

[251] violent way, and I had to actually separate the two of you guys.

[252] I mean, the whole thing was crazy.

[253] No, you didn't.

[254] I was trying to leave the room, and you wouldn't let me leave the room.

[255] What are you talking about?

[256] You were pushing towards him.

[257] No, I was screaming at him with my finger pointed towards his direction.

[258] You were moving towards him to the point where I had to stop you.

[259] What am I going to do?

[260] I don't know if you're going to do anything.

[261] I didn't think you were going to do anything.

[262] But you were so mad.

[263] I was mad.

[264] All right.

[265] And that's why I say.

[266] Why be so mad?

[267] Don't trust him.

[268] Brian?

[269] And just be like, nah, you're wrong.

[270] Brian, you know we love you, right?

[271] Do you know we love you?

[272] Yep.

[273] I think sometimes you don't, Brian.

[274] We really do appreciate the work you do.

[275] We can't do a lot of shit without you.

[276] If we give you a big hug right now, are you going to feel better?

[277] No. No, he's going to feel way more uncomfortable.

[278] No big hugs?

[279] No. All right, we'll see you tomorrow.

[280] Brian Call on tomorrow.