#972 - Ari Shaffir

[0] Good.

[1] Five, four, three, two, one.

[2] Mother fucking world traveler, Ari Sheffir.

[3] That's such a nice way to start.

[4] Dude.

[5] Can that be a big theme song?

[6] You did one of the most puzzling and fascinating and admirable things any of my friends has ever done.

[7] You checked out.

[8] Yeah.

[9] You checked out for four months.

[10] Yeah.

[11] You really checked out.

[12] You got rid of your phone.

[13] You didn't answer any emails.

[14] You're like, I am going to.

[15] to disappear for four months.

[16] You didn't even give a time frame.

[17] No. He just said, just, just going to go do this?

[18] I've said, like, one to three -ish or something, I don't know.

[19] Yeah.

[20] One to, maybe two.

[21] I don't know.

[22] Just we'll see.

[23] Did you get the inspiration from the Henry Rollins podcast?

[24] No, I was already going to do it.

[25] Wow.

[26] Yeah, but he said, like, come see me in December.

[27] I think he was having shows at Largo.

[28] And I was like, oh, I'm already going to be.

[29] I think I'll be gone by that.

[30] Wow.

[31] I was waiting until I finished off the work I had to do.

[32] Do my special.

[33] right um you know finish up a season at show just like just like get get so i'm not like just leaving every i'm not chapelling anybody yeah you know right chappellelling anybody it's a verb yeah dude that rawlins podcast you did was one of my all -time favorite ones of yours it's great it inspired me well out there though your podcast is great it's really good it's really good you like the format it's fucking great it's great i love your intros you know you know you You're fucking cooking onions and just talking.

[34] Yeah.

[35] It's so raw.

[36] It's a really good podcast, man. You've done an amazing job with it.

[37] Thanks.

[38] I like your music selection when you bring in the guests.

[39] Yeah.

[40] No, you do a great job with it.

[41] Like, whenever the guest comes up, I was like, okay, what kind of fucking song is he going to play?

[42] Yeah.

[43] Ingram said it once.

[44] I did one with him about having diabetes.

[45] And he was like, did you pour some sugar on me at the beginning of a podcast about diabetes?

[46] Like, yeah, man. Yeah.

[47] You got to have something like that goes.

[48] That's hilarious.

[49] Rick Ingram is one of the most underrated guys out there.

[50] I've seen him kill at the comedy store lately.

[51] He kills hard enough for people have always said, can you not put me on after him?

[52] Pousies.

[53] Yeah, he's one of those guys.

[54] He's a funny dude.

[55] Very funny dude.

[56] Good guy, too.

[57] Yeah.

[58] But, yeah, that Rollins thing, I did use some of that while I was out there.

[59] When people say, like, what are you doing out here?

[60] Yeah.

[61] I tried a few times.

[62] I'm here to meet you.

[63] And it just gets a conversation going.

[64] Because they want to know.

[65] I think with him, it was more his celebrity, but it's just like, you're white.

[66] What are you doing here?

[67] Right.

[68] What are you doing?

[69] In some small town in Nowhersville.

[70] Did you feel threatened anywhere?

[71] Any sort of threatened?

[72] This is a good question.

[73] Any sort of like threatening I felt was just me. It wasn't real.

[74] It was me looking at people that don't look like me and going, oh, I'm scared.

[75] Hmm.

[76] You know, there are others.

[77] Hmm.

[78] And then you find out, like, like, Myanmar is, I mean, 90 -something percent Buddhist.

[79] Wow.

[80] Yeah, it's a massive, massive part of their culture.

[81] Is that where you went first?

[82] Mm -hmm.

[83] Yeah.

[84] Why did you pick that place?

[85] Best weather.

[86] Oh.

[87] I got my ticket the day before, so I just didn't want to go somewhere where it's going to re -rain in.

[88] Wow.

[89] So, Myanmar had 10 days of clear.

[90] And I was like, I'm headed to Myanmar, I guess.

[91] Wow.

[92] Yeah.

[93] It was great, though.

[94] So what do you, like, what do you do?

[95] Like, how do you set this up?

[96] Do you set up a, like...

[97] I picked a region.

[98] A region.

[99] Yeah.

[100] It caked out between South America and Southeast Asia.

[101] He just decided, like, that looks like a good time of the year to be there.

[102] Yeah.

[103] Yeah, exactly.

[104] I would love to go to Europe, fucking backpacker on Europe.

[105] But not in January.

[106] Not in January and February.

[107] No, it's not going to be enjoyable.

[108] Whenever I think of, Europe.

[109] I mean, even though I've been to Europe and I love it, I think of World War II movies.

[110] Yeah, them having to like the buckers and...

[111] I just think of people freezing.

[112] You know, eating food out of cans, hearing bombs go off in the background.

[113] Yeah.

[114] Some dust coming in from the ceiling.

[115] Well, you know, I was thinking the other day when I was looking at all this crazy shit that's been going on in England, these terrorist attacks.

[116] Yeah.

[117] And what happened in France.

[118] And I was just thinking how long that section of the world has been in in turmoil it's always fighting always fighting yeah and then i was thinking like america's one of the only places where very little shit has gone down like little things have gone down they're they're obviously big at the time like pearl harbor it's huge at the time but very few and then 9 -11 and other than that it's like Ooh, boy.

[119] What else?

[120] And then you look at Europe, like, holy shit.

[121] Dude, there's a part of France that's the size of Paris that you can't go into.

[122] Why?

[123] Because there's so many bombs there.

[124] There's so much munitions from the World Wars.

[125] Oh, really?

[126] So bad that they have like an area the size of Paris.

[127] What, just mines and stuff?

[128] Just musicians, just fucking missiles and shit.

[129] Things that were flying there that landed, things that blew off, all sorts of chemical waste.

[130] Oh, really?

[131] Oh, dude.

[132] It's tough.

[133] I'm toxic.

[134] See if you could pull that up.

[135] Really?

[136] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[137] And you can't go?

[138] I feel like it's outside of Normandy.

[139] I forget where it is.

[140] But there's a section of France that is literally the size of Paris that people can't go into for like 100 ,000 years.

[141] Oh.

[142] Yeah.

[143] Just because it's all this like chemical waste?

[144] Just because of all the waste from the bombs and all the different fucking missiles and rockets and guns and shit.

[145] Dude, it's crazy.

[146] It's crazy.

[147] It's crazy.

[148] Obviously, I don't have the facts in front of me until Jamie pulls it up and my shitty memory, but I know that this is a real place.

[149] And I know that there's just left over like wings of planes?

[150] I think it's mostly like things they shot at each other.

[151] And unexploded?

[152] Some of them unexploded, some of them exploded, like the waste from them.

[153] Oh.

[154] Yeah, here it is.

[155] This is a map of the space.

[156] The red zone is where they can't go.

[157] Look all these fucking bombs that didn't go off.

[158] On the cobblestone streets.

[159] Look at those things, dude.

[160] These are all bombs that didn't go off.

[161] But that guy's there.

[162] Yeah, well, that guy knows what he's doing.

[163] He's just touching it.

[164] He's touched.

[165] They pulled that one out.

[166] Imagine if it went off right next to you.

[167] Wait, the water area found it contained water area.

[168] It says found it contained certain toxic levels of arsenic that were 300 times above the tolerated amount and abnormally high.

[169] Lead levels were recorded in some animals, particularly in the livers of hunted, wild boars oh so they they buried it all i think it's just there man i think it did just have this area i don't think they buried it looks like they put it under under mountains of dirt is that what's going on and then shit grew does it say that no but those mounds look like that i don't know let's see what get up to wow cool freaky a no go zone of france forbidden no man's land poisoned by war ooh dude i mean look at that guy with the gas mask on the artist's a drone i think That is awesome.

[170] Yeah, it is.

[171] Up to his, up to his knees and, like, water.

[172] It doesn't even look a little real.

[173] It's so clearly.

[174] It's not even like, it's like chalk painted.

[175] It's not even like, it is a dope picture, but I was reading and looking at the photo.

[176] And I was that guy in a gas mask?

[177] Oh, that's not a real picture.

[178] Dude, I've seen some tattoos recently on people on Instagram.

[179] That's one of the best things that Instagram's for.

[180] Tattoo artists.

[181] There's some people that have done these super.

[182] realistic photograph tattoos that are just flat out fucking freaky they can do flat out freaky tattoos i've seen those wow incredible golly yeah dude tattoo artists like all artists i guess are just because of the internet but yeah and then they're taking things to another level because they're seeing the level of all these other people and like a guy in germany can compare itself with the guy in japan and a guy in america yeah Like, Jesus Christ.

[183] God, damn.

[184] It looks like a skin is falling off.

[185] Yeah, there's a lot of...

[186] The butterfly is great.

[187] Really good tattoo artists out there right now.

[188] Really good.

[189] Some hotchicks getting them, too.

[190] Yeah, like all over the place.

[191] And guys love that.

[192] I'm one of those guys.

[193] You know why?

[194] Why?

[195] Because you know she's dangerous.

[196] That's a reckless gal.

[197] She's got Johnny Depp tattooed on her foot.

[198] You know?

[199] That girl's crazy.

[200] Like, girls would, like, love and hate on their hands, like, okay, here we go.

[201] Yeah, exactly.

[202] It's like you're on a roller coaster ride.

[203] It's going click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

[204] And you're at the apex.

[205] Yeah, you can never just have a nice quiet dinner with a girl like that.

[206] It's got to be on every night.

[207] Something's throwing at your head.

[208] A girl has Los Angeles tattooed across her stomach.

[209] Like, whoa.

[210] Yeah.

[211] You know, and like that Gothic, like a gang sign.

[212] That's behind your ear, a lot.

[213] Face tattoos is where you're really making a commitment.

[214] That's a weird one, right?

[215] It's like, I'm willing to, like, some people get, I'm a little crazy.

[216] With Caliphatea types?

[217] Yeah, oh, those are the, well, how about Gucci -Maine?

[218] Got a fucking ice cream cone tattooed on his face, and it says, burr.

[219] Really?

[220] Yes.

[221] Dude, you got an ice cream cone tattooed on his face.

[222] And it says burr.

[223] B -R -R -R -R.

[224] Yeah, like, bur, this is cold.

[225] I'm not kidding.

[226] He's not like an ice cream guy, though.

[227] I like his music, though.

[228] But it's not all about ice cream, is it?

[229] Look.

[230] God damn.

[231] Wow.

[232] It says burr.

[233] Burr.

[234] And then the meme spelled burr wrong.

[235] There's lightning bolts off the ice cream cone.

[236] I feel like that was put in later.

[237] No, I think that was at the same time.

[238] Ice cream and ice, and like.

[239] Yeah, ice cream and lightning.

[240] That's real.

[241] That's his tattoo.

[242] Nothing says getting like three scoops of ice cream.

[243] Wow, good for him.

[244] It's going to be hard for him to find a job, though.

[245] Yeah, he doesn't have a job.

[246] He's a rapper.

[247] He doesn't need a job.

[248] I mean...

[249] Okay, I don't want to see...

[250] Inside of the lip one.

[251] The inside of the lip one, it's weird, but like I'm a sneaky freak.

[252] Yeah, it's out of the way.

[253] I'm a sneaky freak.

[254] I'm hiding my freakiness inside my face.

[255] There's no versions with tattoos.

[256] Well, I'm sure there must be.

[257] Maybe.

[258] I'm sure there must be But not really though That's not even unusual You don't think What about asexual people Do you believe in asexual people?

[259] Oh yeah Yeah definitely right Yeah I've spent a couple Some people just don't want Don't touch me Thanks Yeah I'm running to that sort of thing Why's it so horrible I'm worn to stamps I mean it's not like they just Are antisocial They just don't want to fuck They just have no interest in it Yeah So what about them Oh they What if they get tattoos Yeah I don't think it ever happens I stand by it Wow There's no versions of tattoos Stick to a, like, commit to an opinion.

[260] Yeah, exactly.

[261] Doesn't matter if I didn't research it.

[262] You're not even totally sure.

[263] You're not even totally sure.

[264] Oh, I'm 100 % sure, man. Wow.

[265] I'm doubling down.

[266] Interesting.

[267] I like how you do that.

[268] You raise your voice.

[269] You've extended your head.

[270] There's something about movement.

[271] Have you seen this fucking video?

[272] I don't know if you know what's going on in Evergreen College.

[273] Do you know where Evergreen College is?

[274] Evergreen State College.

[275] It's in Pacific Northwest.

[276] And there's this crazy shutdown.

[277] I had this professor on the podcast because they, um, the kids had asked him to, uh, not show up at school and not, no white people show at school.

[278] Or no whites day.

[279] Because, yeah, they wanted a day where whites didn't.

[280] And he's like, that is the opposite of inclusiveness.

[281] Like, this is, this is not what we're supposed to be doing.

[282] So they kick him out, right?

[283] He's, um, instead of saying, no, how about everybody day?

[284] Well, this is what they did.

[285] They didn't really kick him out.

[286] What they did is they protested, they yelled and screamed.

[287] And he felt unsafe and he left the college.

[288] And then the college got shut down due to threats.

[289] Oh, really?

[290] Threats, yeah.

[291] People called in.

[292] They even played the threats on the air.

[293] What do you mean threats?

[294] He was already gone.

[295] No, other people called in.

[296] Is it a threat in the college?

[297] Yes.

[298] Oh, because.

[299] Like right wing people.

[300] Oh, right.

[301] They called them a bunch of commies.

[302] And, you know, they left like a voicemail saying I was going to come down with my 45 magnum.

[303] That's, you know, too far.

[304] Yeah.

[305] 44 magnum.

[306] Maybe 44.

[307] Oh, that's all right.

[308] Then that's okay.

[309] He specified the round, which I thought was a lot.

[310] It's like the exact type of gun I have.

[311] It's just not the cold.

[312] Okay, well, if you come with a shotgun, I know it's just a game.

[313] Like, but anyway, the college professor got in trouble, like, talking to these kids.

[314] They told him to put his hands away because he was gesturing with their hands.

[315] They were yelling out that it's a microaggression.

[316] Oh.

[317] And they got him, they got him to put his hands down.

[318] And then they started laughing at him.

[319] Oh.

[320] Dude.

[321] They started laughing like, how how we made you put your hands on.

[322] Put your hands out.

[323] See if you can find it, Jamie.

[324] What?

[325] Because I think who had it.

[326] Those microaggressions.

[327] I think I'm trying to figure, maybe Brett Weinstein had it queued up on his Twitter page.

[328] He's the professor.

[329] That word, by the way, is dead on.

[330] It's just the connotative meaning now has become something super negative.

[331] Microaggression.

[332] Not even a small aggression.

[333] Micro.

[334] It's like the smallest possible thing you can think of in terms of regression.

[335] You're like, okay, sure, whatever.

[336] But if you watch the video, this.

[337] guy's just moving his hands he's just talking like this and they're like put your hands down your hands are aggressive it's dude and then they laugh at him when he complies they openly mocked him and laughed like we're fooling with you we didn't really believe that microgressed stuff we made you we made it we turned into a cuck they're little kids these are little kids you're you know when you talk to people who understand how brains develop one of the big things that they always say is the frontal lobe the frontal cortex doesn't really develop until you're like 25.

[338] It's not fully developed.

[339] Dude, they're just, I was in college.

[340] I understand.

[341] Yeah, we're not that smart.

[342] We're learned a few things.

[343] We don't know how to put it into play yet.

[344] And so you just say it.

[345] By the way, that's my theory and why people send their kids away to college is because they're fucking embarrassing and they don't want them anywhere near them while they're trying to grow into real people.

[346] Oh, wow.

[347] Yeah, they're learning stuff, but they're like, we know everything.

[348] Do you really think that's it?

[349] Oh, yeah, a little bit.

[350] Also, they say for the experience of going away, but, like, no, it's like, hey, fucking be an awful developing thing away from me. Go and bear someone in Wisconsin.

[351] Interesting.

[352] Yeah, I hear this NYU girls talking all the time.

[353] I stand behind them and, like, listen.

[354] Oh, yeah.

[355] You know, on their conversations, girls in boys, you know?

[356] Mostly girls, are you creepy?

[357] I mean, you know, whatever.

[358] Are you creeping?

[359] Sort of, sure.

[360] Obviously, I'm super into that.

[361] But, like, uh...

[362] But, yeah, they're just dumb.

[363] They're dumb when you listen to them.

[364] And you're like, you're just well -read.

[365] And dumb.

[366] Well, there's a lot of people that, I mean, are 18 years old and you have a very intelligent conversation with you.

[367] Yeah, sure.

[368] Some.

[369] Yeah.

[370] And then there's a lot of people.

[371] And there's a lot of people who are 18 who are basically 12.

[372] They're basically like a grown -up baby.

[373] It's not their fault.

[374] It's no one's fault, you know.

[375] Just take some people longer to kind of get how to, you know, sort of factor all the aspects of life together and make some sort of a manageable plan for yourself.

[376] and live your life.

[377] But the idea of those kids being able to run that principal and run the president of that school like that and tell to put his hands down and laugh at him.

[378] Dude, they laughed at him.

[379] I heard a few smart people going about Trump and people like small hands, you know, and the left will attack that.

[380] It's like, oh, you're a small dick or you're a bit of a shit here.

[381] I saw one, I think, I forget who, comedian I used to open mics with.

[382] I think he's a writer now.

[383] Forget who it was.

[384] But she was like, don't say that.

[385] Don't take their tactics.

[386] Don't say looks are an important thing here.

[387] Yeah.

[388] That's not what we believe in.

[389] So stop saying that.

[390] Not only that, you're going to shame the shit out of all those guys that are out there that actually have small.

[391] Yeah, exactly.

[392] Her point was like, don't, don't, just because you know that it'll affect him, you're doing the same thing that right does.

[393] Don't do that.

[394] Yeah, isn't that amazing, though, that is what we decide to do as a collective group of humans to find the thing that you can mock about him physically?

[395] Uh -huh.

[396] Like his dick is little.

[397] He's got a small hands Look at your small hands And then there's people in the audience And actually have small hands Like fuck Because Trump's a big giant guy Isn't he?

[398] I think he's like 60 He's probably like your height Oh wow He's a big guy Like he's a big imposing guy Like if you see That was the One of the speculations About Jim Comey That James Comey That Trump didn't like him Because he was six foot eight Oh Because he's huge James Comey He's like this giant basketball player like dude huge yeah and he uh just towered over everybody including trump trump's like get rid of that fucking guy but i'm sure it was more complicated than that's more because he's investigating him but that's more of shaming people love to do that oh you tiny little man yeah both sides love doing it yeah it's weird because you you're attacking something that's the person can't change at all yeah like what do you know like what do you care if he has small like like how big comie is come he's a giant wow he's huge he's a He's a super person.

[399] God, he dwarfs everybody.

[400] Oh, my God, he's huge.

[401] He's an enormous guy.

[402] You know, if I was Donald Trump and I was in this sort of a dispute with a guy like that, he's saying, look how big you grew.

[403] I would worry about Comey running for president.

[404] Really?

[405] Fuck, yeah.

[406] Yeah, I watch House a Card, son.

[407] I know how this game is play.

[408] The next move is Comey runs for president.

[409] A bunch of people, they get in the room with him.

[410] There's his bankers.

[411] and this was one dude who's an internationally successful businessman, but he keeps like a humble lifestyle and a normal house, and he likes to bird hunt.

[412] Hey, everybody watching at home.

[413] Right here is when Joe Rogan's explaining to me how it works in politics.

[414] Now, back to the actual show.

[415] Yeah, they do a little too much of that sometimes.

[416] Like, what are you doing?

[417] Face the camera.

[418] They get away with it sometimes.

[419] But you know what I want?

[420] Here's what I want.

[421] I want Claire Barnes to do those every now and then.

[422] Who's Claire Barnes?

[423] I Claire Underwood He started the new season?

[424] Yeah His wife?

[425] Yeah I want his wife to do it Underwood Anthony Hopkins No Didn't I say Underwood The second time?

[426] Barnes But I said the second time He said the second time He said Underwood Who the hell's Claire Barnes?

[427] The reporter Is that the girl's name In Homeland?

[428] I've run out of space In my head for names I don't have any name They're jumbling together They're all jumbling together No, Claire Jane's Oh that's right Zoe Barnes That's who it is That's right Claire Underwood But I want to hear what she says.

[429] Yeah, she's not allowed.

[430] Why doesn't she look at the camera?

[431] Like, she's mysterious.

[432] They have that.

[433] It's director's cuts that show on the Wii Network.

[434] Mm, on the Wii Network.

[435] Yeah, it's only the women's points of view.

[436] They have to take your chromosomes before they let you watch it.

[437] You hold on to your remote tests to make sure you're double X. No Y. No why.

[438] The Wii Network.

[439] Does anybody watch that anymore?

[440] Chicks.

[441] same people like Hallmark Nobody really watches either those though right Nobody really watch it somebody watches but nobody really Dude go to Nebraska But like they watch it more than like NBC They DVR the shit out of it David Taylor once said he was trying to write They were buying like dumb scripts for a Hallmark channel And he said he watched He researched a bunch of them And he goes pretty much every one of the movies at work It's about a pet A family reunion or a holiday so he had a lost my dog at christmas time movie that he wrote just to try to get it on there he's like i'll fill all this stuff that's hilarious yeah those remember that um billboard across the street from the store was always the hallmark channel yeah forever too one of my favorite comments you ever made because it was this like cop show where it was two a woman in the front a woman behind her kind of like charlie's angels ish little it's looking tough guns and then like a dude way way in the back Maybe three women, one guy, but they're like a hard -nosed detectives.

[442] And you're like, Hallmark Channel is sci -fi for women.

[443] In what world does this exist?

[444] This is...

[445] I forgot I said that, but it's so true.

[446] I was doing that on stage for a while.

[447] Yeah, now that I remember it, I was doing it.

[448] I was saying that on stage because it was right there, and I can point to it.

[449] And I'd say, there is a fucking billboard across the street.

[450] I need you to go out there and look at it I'll tell people after this show Look at it, this joke's gonna be better After the show It really was like See what's possible And you're like that is not possible The guy would be like Give me the fucking gun Where is he That guy's like hanging back there Like he's waiting for these chicks to save him What fuck are you watching?

[451] Me and Jay went on a rabbit hunt Over his place of looking for videos Of like women Cops getting beat up Oh God They're awful Oh it's really bad it's like once a guy that grabs you it's like fuck there's a huge power difference here so disturbing there's one i'll never forget this one because the guy's child it was his child i think or his girlfriend yeah i forget who it was i think it was his kid was screaming at him to stop stop to stop and he was beating the shit out of his cop oh yeah yeah he got out of the car with her and it was a woman and she was really little and um she was pulling him over and he got out of the car and I don't remember the exact chain of events but I remember he was punching the fuck out of her and he caoed her on the ground and he smashed him in the face a bunch of times yeah and his kid was screaming I'm pretty sure it was his kid screaming to stop oh it was so scary but it was like this is the reality of being a cop this is why it's not sexist to think that it's a scary thing to have a a 130 pound woman on her own out there driving around in a cop car with a gun trying to pull over six foot four the guy was a stacked looking black dude right like he looked like a big guy and once he got a hold of her and started punching her holy shit dude it was awful oh it was awful he beat the shit out of her and he did it super easy and you realize like once you got it on video yeah you want to Show a little bit.

[452] Show it to us.

[453] It's awful, man. So there's this big dude, right?

[454] He gets out of the car.

[455] And I think it's his, look at it.

[456] He just punches her in the face.

[457] He's in front of his daughter.

[458] Oh, that's what it was.

[459] Oh, man, he keeps wailing on her.

[460] Oh, dude, he beat the fuck out of her while.

[461] She's out cold.

[462] She's out cold, and he takes her gun.

[463] He takes everything.

[464] The daughter's freaking out.

[465] Dude, it is hard to watch.

[466] It's hard to watch.

[467] Get back in the car.

[468] Oh.

[469] Yeah, man. There's a bunch of them, man. It's such a dangerous job.

[470] He punched a shit out of her like ten times.

[471] It's such a dangerous job.

[472] It's such a dangerous job.

[473] And to say that it's too dangerous for women, who's to say?

[474] I don't know.

[475] I don't know.

[476] What if that woman quit after that or she kept working?

[477] You think she kept working?

[478] I don't know.

[479] I think she might have had brain damage after that.

[480] That's horrific.

[481] It's a big dude.

[482] And I bet she was totally...

[483] He was swinging full.

[484] Yeah.

[485] I mean, he's really...

[486] And I bet she was totally defenseless after the first punch.

[487] So it was just clean, clean punches right to the face.

[488] Boom, boom, boom.

[489] I mean, the damage that a big guy like that can do to just a regular female face.

[490] What's how can do you do that guy's daughter, too?

[491] She can grow up.

[492] Oh, my God.

[493] It's terrifying to be around that kind of violence when you're that little.

[494] So that's what it was.

[495] Why do I think the video showed the kid in the car?

[496] Right out of the car.

[497] She's right next to it.

[498] It was terrible.

[499] But, I mean, that's probably one of a hundred of those things that have happened.

[500] By the way, in terms of if I felt unsafe when I was traveling, that shit's here.

[501] Sure.

[502] You're right, yeah.

[503] Yeah, I was nowhere as unsafe as, like, Chicago.

[504] Yeah, that's what I always say about Mexico.

[505] Like, people are like, do you ever go to Mexico?

[506] I'm like, Mexico is, like, mostly nice.

[507] Right, right, right.

[508] Nice people.

[509] They're really nice people.

[510] Like, Mexico's not the problem.

[511] The problem is parts of Mexico.

[512] Border towns, too, in general.

[513] Yeah.

[514] But it's also, like, that's the problem, like you said with Detroit.

[515] It's a problem with Chicago.

[516] It's a problem with a lot of places.

[517] There's spots where it's fucking dangerous.

[518] Yeah.

[519] Even most of Chicago's good.

[520] Yeah, Chicago's great.

[521] 550 murders last year, but see how many people weren't murdered.

[522] Dude, that's a great outlook.

[523] You're a glass half full kind of guy.

[524] Millions of non -murtered people roaming around Chicago, really enjoying their freedoms.

[525] Yeah, I mean, if it affects you or someone that you love, it's terrible.

[526] For sure.

[527] Yeah.

[528] Yeah.

[529] So, in all this traveling, did you come out of this?

[530] anything you know a few things for sure because you seemed like to tell you from the outside yeah you seemed like almost like you uh had a different perspective you you also you've seemed i don't know man it was nice to see you when i first saw you when you came back yeah but you seemed like a little different you seem like you um i don't know you've seen another level of stuff like you see you've got another level of perspective from this travel thing that like added to your your vision of the world your your whole overall worldview yeah well a lot of time to think also yeah as you're seeing stuff you know certainly as everyone would see out there like poverty levels where you're like oh I'm doing fine yeah you know but not even that it's more specific it's just like I don't know friendly people and like yeah just different versions of it plus travelers and plus really get into a place where you're like don't need to do anything you know after a month of that it's like okay you just settle into this like i don't know what's today gonna bring right you know you wake up and you just like i heard there's this cool temple there we'll go check that out maybe let's get on motorbikes and go somewhere i heard there's a cool you just talk to other travelers and like there's a canyon up there it's really neat go check that out while you're here and so you just do and at some point like You know how when you haven't got enough sleep for like a few days in a row, you've got four hours, four hours, four hours, and you sleep like 11 hours, and you're like, I am completely caught up.

[531] Right.

[532] So like not having any responsibility, the stress level goes down, down, and then it's just like waiting in that zero responsibility of life for like, I'm three months in that level, I guess.

[533] Wow.

[534] You know, after the first couple weeks and it's just like, I don't have anything to do.

[535] Just like, oh, and just like fucking relax, man. I would leave a city when I felt like the right time to leave a city You know, it wasn't even like a regular vacation Where you're like, come on, we gotta do this, then move Right We got reservation somewhere Yeah, it was just like Relax and then I could just think about things My art form in general People in my life You know what I want And don't want I'd have like moments of just like Yeah, it took a 10 hour bus There's no Wi -Fi You know You're just like thinking for a while.

[536] Yeah, tons of moments like that.

[537] How did you know when to end it?

[538] So I was going to come back for this show.

[539] But then I remembered my manager, my friend Eric, they wanted to do a show at Third Man Records in Nashville for the Wild West Comedy Festival.

[540] And I forgot about that.

[541] Because people asked me, like, when do you have to go back?

[542] Like, travel as I meet.

[543] I was like, I'm open.

[544] Dude, there were so many people that were just traveling open.

[545] Wow.

[546] Yeah.

[547] That's really common?

[548] I mean, three months is like a norm.

[549] You have some people six months or a year.

[550] I met an Italian girl who was going on her five and a half, fifth and a half years, just traveling.

[551] Five and a half years, just travel.

[552] She'd find jobs every once in a while.

[553] Wow.

[554] Yeah, and it's just goes where she wants.

[555] It's very appealing.

[556] Yeah, yeah.

[557] It's very fascinating, right?

[558] That's like nobody writes books about a guy who stays in his town.

[559] that he grew up.

[560] I know.

[561] The book is about the crazy traveler person.

[562] It goes all over the world and a backpack.

[563] Yeah.

[564] But there's three -month people all over America doing that.

[565] I know there's a lot of tent people.

[566] There's a lot of people that, like, they'll get like a truck, you know, like some sort of SUV thing, and they drive it around to campgrounds and they camp.

[567] And they use the showers at the campgrounds.

[568] And then they do stuff enough for money so that they have gas.

[569] and they keep traveling around and hope their car doesn't break down.

[570] Odd jobs.

[571] Yeah.

[572] Yeah.

[573] This girl picked oranges in Sydney for like two months.

[574] I had this dude on Chris Cage.

[575] He walked the Appalachian Trail.

[576] Wow.

[577] Yeah.

[578] It's Georgia all the way to Maine.

[579] No, no, no. I don't know.

[580] How do you survive?

[581] You would never make it.

[582] You would never make it.

[583] What do you mean?

[584] Well, you'd never make it if you were just trying to kill animals all the way.

[585] You'd never make it.

[586] so how do you eat you'd have to be an elite hunter and you still might not ever make it because you're not if you're carrying that food around it's going to go bad you're walking through georgia in the summer no i mean you know critters critters do you're not going to get enough just cook it that night really yeah you'll starve it's way harder to kill an animal than people think it's in a movie that's that's what they do it's like let's camp get some dinner dude it's way harder it's way harder yeah yeah you know unless you're walking around with several high -powered right rifles and scopes and you're setting up you know where the animals are they hear you come and you're walking you're not going to be able to walk all the way to Maine oh man maybe that's you but experience hunter like me I understand uh you have to get in the heads man they go to restaurants yeah they buy food they stay in hostels you know they they have um these little uh camping spots where they have covered shelters and people share them really yeah there's a lot of that too where it's just like oh forget about your like what you need in terms of like hotels yeah that's all You need a bed.

[587] That's all you need.

[588] Some people, they carry it on their back.

[589] There's a thing called a bivisack.

[590] You know what the bivisack is?

[591] A bivisack is like either a bivisack or a bivie tent.

[592] They're like essentially like a combination sleeping bag tent.

[593] Oh, cool.

[594] And it's super light.

[595] Pull up a picture of a bivie tent.

[596] Yeah, it's one of the reasons I didn't go to South America is because I was like, there's going to be more camping.

[597] It seems like up and down the coast and stuff.

[598] It's like cities, and I'm just like, I don't know if I can camp alone for that long.

[599] You might freak out.

[600] Yeah.

[601] It'd be hard to get a good night's sleep around a bunch of weirdos and then speak their language.

[602] This is what they look like.

[603] Oh, neat.

[604] So you keep that thing, they wrap it up, put it on their back.

[605] It's pretty light.

[606] Oh, it just keeps the fucking rain off you?

[607] Yeah, it's basically like just this tiny -ass little tent.

[608] And like if you were a minimalist hiker, like if you're some guy who's trying to walk 50 miles or something crazy like these guys.

[609] They try to carry as light of stuff as they can.

[610] They try to go as minimal as they can.

[611] And that's one way that they do that.

[612] And then a lot of times they use like a little ear mattress like that dude has a little...

[613] Oh, wow, blow it up.

[614] Doesn't take up any space.

[615] Yeah, just got to hope it doesn't pop.

[616] Oh, yeah.

[617] Otherwise you're sleeping on rocks.

[618] It's hard, but...

[619] That's what everybody did, too, traveling for this backpack.

[620] You just got to make it work.

[621] Space was like a, uh, that's another thing you learned to.

[622] It's like, I don't need much stuff.

[623] Yeah.

[624] You go down to like, you know, just a backpack full of that's all your belongings.

[625] Right.

[626] Do you buy anything?

[627] You got to throw something out.

[628] Yeah, man. Like, there's a real movement right now towards minimalism or where people are trying to pair their life down as much as possible.

[629] Yeah.

[630] I think people don't want to get involved with like banks and fucking having to like mortgage themselves and their lifestyle just for the sake of like having things.

[631] Yeah.

[632] And they're like, and so they get into like stuff like camping and hiking.

[633] Well, it's also you got to think like, what do you really appreciate?

[634] What's important to you?

[635] Like what's really important to you?

[636] Yeah.

[637] Because you don't have forever, right?

[638] So what is important to you?

[639] Because you only have 24 hours in a day.

[640] So what's important to you?

[641] Find out what the fuck that is and do more of that.

[642] Yeah.

[643] And try to figure out like how to how to make enough money so that you're not starving, that you're doing well.

[644] Yeah.

[645] But don't just chase that.

[646] Chase what you're trying to do like did the the point system attached to it the monetary point system It can get you all fucked up because it'll get you working like 12 hours a day 13 hours a day to get what to get more stuff to get better stuff to get more prestigious stuff to get stuff You know all your other stuff having friends are really jealous of your stuff Yeah, you're just gonna die bro and it's not making long term.

[647] I mean like what are you getting out of it now That's what I meant that's most important.

[648] Yeah a ton of people that are like I don't want that shit So I'm just going to do a job, you know, working on a tugboat in Seattle for a few months, save up money, and then go fucking enjoy myself.

[649] Yeah.

[650] Yeah, there's a lot of people that are just choosing to look at everything that they can see, experienced every new place that they can go to.

[651] That Henry Rollins podcast, man, it's a world changer.

[652] Yeah.

[653] That crazy fucker.

[654] Yeah, he's fascinating.

[655] Yeah.

[656] He's a fast.

[657] I never met anybody like him.

[658] He's really fascinating.

[659] Yeah, he goes and does stuff and see stuff.

[660] It was just also his outlook, how he said.

[661] simplifies all the things that are wrong with him and all the things that are wrong with the way he interacts with people.

[662] And so this is what I'm going to do.

[663] And this is going to, you know, like he's like his, his, his story about being given was a Ritalin, was Ritalin, right?

[664] From the time he was like five.

[665] For he was a young boy, they gave him Ritalin until senior year of high school.

[666] So he was like, I would just be on these pills.

[667] I'd be like, all day.

[668] At the end of day, like, boom.

[669] we were like crash and then they do it again i mean they were they're juicing them up with this crazy stuff from like he was an experimental case he grew up in from what i understand he's from potomac maryland which is the same county as where i grew up in but he that was the richer part of town um not that he was a rich kid but like Montgomery county is one of the richest counties in america and like that was just a standard thing like your kid's not performing ideally he's learning disabled give him some pills right crazy yeah that people thought for a while that was the way to go i just uh it's just fascinating that he's so like henry's so intense and he's so like his he's got like these rock solid ethics and this uh view of the world that's very egalitarian and very open but also very aggressive it's very interesting like he's thought it out though it's not just like whatever and this what i believe no matter what yes he's like oh yeah for sure i thought about this and Here's the answer.

[670] No, I super enjoyed talking to him.

[671] Thanks for hooking that up.

[672] Yeah, I'm glad it worked out as well as I was gone.

[673] But I was like, I got back.

[674] I was like, do you ever link up with him?

[675] You're like, yeah, we did.

[676] It's a good podcast.

[677] Like, oh, hell yeah.

[678] Yeah, it was really good.

[679] He's, uh, I just love when someone is just soaking in as much as they can get.

[680] Yeah.

[681] Just out there, like, let's go to Bali.

[682] And he just goes to Bali.

[683] Let's go to Africa.

[684] Now we're in Tanzania.

[685] Now we're in Botswana.

[686] You know, and just meeting people.

[687] and going out on the fucking sand dunes and shit.

[688] And it's like with Bedouins.

[689] Yeah.

[690] If you get away from like the backpackers path, you know, the tourist path, and sometimes it would get like too much.

[691] But you just go out and then you can like, yeah, really see some shit.

[692] Like basically what it is.

[693] Yeah.

[694] My friend Jesse's going back to Liberia.

[695] Whoa.

[696] They left after when Charles Taylor was taken over.

[697] And so, but now it's safe again.

[698] Is it?

[699] Yeah.

[700] Wow.

[701] Yeah.

[702] And they're trying to convince me. the world that it's like a decent like tourist place but jesse's going back in the same i'm like dude i'm coming with you i'm staying with your fucking family's house not in a hotel but like let's see what's just really like out there yeah so let's see yeah i bet it's a trip yeah did you ever see the vice piece on liberia mm -mm -mm -hmm vice guy to travel um and they went to liberia and my man shane yeah he was over there in liberia talking to this dude who his name is general naked.

[703] This guy was famous for going into combat during the war.

[704] He would take all his clothes off and he'd run naked, killing people, naked.

[705] Yeah, dude, he admitted he was talking about how they would capture a child from the other tribe and they would kill him and cut pieces of the heart out and eat it to give them invincibility.

[706] He was talking about this.

[707] Wow.

[708] And he's free on the streets and they exonerated him because now he's like a Christian minister.

[709] Yeah, it's pretty much only Charles Taylor got punished.

[710] Everyone else was like, you're all done, go be part of the government, it's okay.

[711] Dude, this guy, like, openly talks about all the crazy shit that he did.

[712] Wow.

[713] About cutting the hearts out of children and eating them.

[714] You know how Liberia was started?

[715] Yes.

[716] I didn't know that until recently.

[717] Tell everybody, slave thing.

[718] Freed slaves.

[719] Yeah.

[720] They went back to President Monroe, free them and said, we'll ship you back there if you want.

[721] And a lot of people are like, yeah, I don't trust you guys.

[722] So I'm going to guess.

[723] I'm going to go back to Africa.

[724] Where they never grew up And so they called Liberia for Liberated And that's why they all speak English It's there is no They don't have any African language anymore Dude Yeah Monrovia is their capital President Moreau The idea of it is so crazy I know use that expression too much What going back Starting up a free slaves country Well just taking them and throwing them onto a patch of land Good luck Yeah It's like setting out a zoo animal Into the wild Right It's like have fun surviving Holy shit, man. And just talk about feeling displaced and confused.

[725] You didn't even grow up there.

[726] You don't have any lions in fucking Georgia.

[727] And you must be thinking to yourself like, what kind of shit luck do I have?

[728] I have double shit luck.

[729] I have shit luck that I was a slave and then shit luck that I was thrown back to Africa.

[730] I think that might have been the way to go.

[731] Oh, yeah, for sure.

[732] To be free is better.

[733] Yeah.

[734] Oh, yeah.

[735] Or it would have been semi -free post -slavery America.

[736] But I'm just saying, like it's still a bad.

[737] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[738] Shit luck.

[739] Yeah, yeah.

[740] You only get three cards.

[741] The best you can do is three of a kind.

[742] Well, this general butt -naked guy turned a dude in because the dude was selling human flesh.

[743] Uh -huh.

[744] And he knew because he had eaten human flesh, so he knew what it tasted like.

[745] So that's how when he was buying like shish kebab from this guy, he turned him in.

[746] He's like, this guy was selling human flesh.

[747] I could tell because I've eaten it before.

[748] What?

[749] The fuck did you just say?

[750] You could tell what it tastes.

[751] Like, if I gave you a piece of lamb, Would you know for sure that was a lamb?

[752] I'd have an idea.

[753] Yeah, an idea.

[754] But I could maybe sneak in like a piece of wild sheep or something.

[755] You might think that was a lamb.

[756] Yeah, sure.

[757] You know what I'm saying?

[758] This guy knew.

[759] This motherfucker knew.

[760] That's him right there.

[761] I think I know what human flesh tastes like.

[762] That's him right there, General Butt Naked.

[763] Wow.

[764] Yeah.

[765] It tasted.

[766] I got a taste.

[767] It was human.

[768] I called the police.

[769] Wow.

[770] Nice Todd.

[771] He knows what human tastes like, dude.

[772] Yeah.

[773] Fuck.

[774] Just said that when they were testing out, when they were testing out, like, rocket launchers to sell them to people there, they would be like, let me show you.

[775] And they would just blow up a damn, you know?

[776] And so the infrastructure is totally fucked because everyone was testing out their weapons.

[777] I'm like, no, we need that building.

[778] Oh, my God.

[779] That's so crazy.

[780] Yeah, they're like, cool, it works.

[781] I'll take 10.

[782] Well, maybe it'll eventually, like, calm down and be like Australia, right?

[783] Because Australia was a place where they wanted to get rid of prisoners.

[784] Uh -huh.

[785] They shipped them off to Australia.

[786] Now they're the best people ever.

[787] Yeah.

[788] Maybe that's exactly what's going to happen to Liberia.

[789] They just need a couple of generations to knock the dots off.

[790] Well, they got rid of Taylor, so they should be okay.

[791] Yeah, maybe they'll be fine.

[792] It just takes a while to rebound from some shit like that.

[793] Yeah, but Henry Rollins has that of like going to a place and like, let me see what this is like.

[794] Yeah, man. There's not a whole lot of people that do it, that's for sure.

[795] Yeah.

[796] And he works.

[797] Like his work ethic's insane.

[798] Like I'm talking about his writing and what he's doing and he's always doing something.

[799] He's writing columns and, you know, he's just.

[800] It's like he goes and does stuff And then he comes home and takes care of business Yeah And then he's like, cool, took care of it, go I think I would do this again After my next special Yeah?

[801] You're just gonna just every couple of years It's like once you're finished with work It's like all right before I start building up again Do a walkabout Yeah I don't know See some of the world Yeah do a walkabout I met a bunch of people doing gap years What's a gap year?

[802] Yeah exactly What's a gap year It's all over every other country Just not ours What's I mean?

[803] In between high school and college You're leaving your friend You're about to make new friends.

[804] Oh, take it out here for a year off.

[805] In between college and grad school or college and your first year of work, now's the time.

[806] Well, European countries have a point in this more relaxed approach to, like, the future in your life.

[807] Yeah.

[808] They really do.

[809] This conqueror's mentality.

[810] I wonder how many heart attacks we have in comparison to European people.

[811] I don't know, but it's like, we're not living our lives.

[812] You know, Germans get off how many, are you familiar with the vacation time?

[813] leave in America.

[814] What is it?

[815] It's two weeks, pretty much.

[816] That's it?

[817] Two weeks vacation, two weeks sick.

[818] Do you get paid vacation?

[819] Pay vacation, two weeks.

[820] Is that standard?

[821] Yeah, that's a standard.

[822] Okay.

[823] That's nine to five -thirty, you know.

[824] In Germany, and most of Europe, definitely all Scandinavia, you get 25 days off.

[825] Five weeks.

[826] Jesus.

[827] And if you get sick during those weeks off, if you had to go to a hospital in wherever country you're in and you show them, I was in a hospital, you get those days back.

[828] they'll count against your sick time instead and they expect you to take the the vacation time too not like here with like come on you can't really use it you know what's fucked up sick time like i ran out sick days yeah yeah exactly what do you mean you're sick like you're sick like you're sick yeah like either you're a fucking liar or i trust you now if i trust you you're just really unfortunate and if i love you and we're friends and we work together um i want you to get better i don't want you You don't have to come back to work because, you know, you already used up for 14 days.

[829] You get exactly sick the same amount of time every year, too.

[830] Can you imagine telling somebody?

[831] Hey, buddy, you're out of sick days.

[832] I'm going to have to dock your pay.

[833] You're dying.

[834] What?

[835] I can't breathe.

[836] You want IVs and shit?

[837] I don't care.

[838] You're out of sick days.

[839] The calendar doesn't say that doesn't back you up on that.

[840] The statistics, in order to keep revenue flowing.

[841] We must keep you in the process.

[842] Yeah.

[843] What?

[844] You have a certain amount of day.

[845] you're allowed to be sick that's fucking ridiculous like hopefully they'll be zero well I'm saving up my sick days what you save up your sick days what does that mean like your your sick days carry carry over yeah exactly extra days where you can pretend you're six you can't save up sick days you can save up vacation days but I don't think you can save up sick days should be able to you should be my days I didn't get sick I didn't get sick them around like cards at least give you half of them back I took four I have 10 left over give me five for next year people with real jobs are so massive us right now.

[846] You motherfuckers don't know shit about sick days or work days to be under the thumb of an oppressive dictator.

[847] I'm saying it's terrible.

[848] Yeah.

[849] Oh yeah.

[850] It's expectation that you never take off.

[851] They have to pour your whole life into that shit.

[852] And it's like, oh man, go do some stuff.

[853] Okay, let me play devil's advocate because if I was one of the people out there that likes to complain about shit, I'd be like that's easy for you to say, R, you haven't had a job.

[854] You don't have the responsibilities I have.

[855] Yeah, that's true.

[856] All right, it'll be quiet.

[857] In a podcast.

[858] No, no, no. I'm saying, though, they demand better.

[859] They get it better in other places.

[860] They absolutely should.

[861] First of all.

[862] They're an expectation that you go fucking see the world and go do stuff.

[863] 40 hour a week, work week is bullshit.

[864] Bullshit.

[865] It's bullshit.

[866] You're not productive at that level.

[867] Nobody should do it.

[868] And it shouldn't be standard.

[869] Everyone has to do the same amount.

[870] Unless I want to buy something that you make.

[871] Then could you please, like, get everybody to do overtime and put in a night shift and give people time and a half for overtime so you encourage them to go overtime?

[872] Yeah, time and a half You can get out of the mindset Of having to work this time And just demand something better Or more interesting for your life Well, it's just a weird standard That we've all accepted Pretty much across the country Nine to five, nine to five, nine to five Morning, Sam, morning, Bob, nine to five It's nine to five thirty or six Oh yeah If you want to take a lunch break You don't get paid for that anymore You don't?

[873] No, it's not nine to five anymore Is that Trump?

[874] Did he do this?

[875] No, no, it's been a long time nine to five nine to five could you imagine what a weird weird decision to make the most significant thing be the productivity it's pretty where's that horn going off young jamie you hear that is it in the back just give it a little double check go out there with the baseball bat tell them to shut the fuck up but like walk towards them aggressively the move is walk out there with your dick and your hand that way you startle anyone you you see and you always have the first move yeah exactly they're the reaction to you now like this guy's crazy he came out with his dick out yeah like if you if you're getting ready to fight and you just come out holding on to your dick people like whoa what's he planning a lot of people would back down from that fight a lot of people wouldn't people might not people would be worried that dick would touch you but once it did touch you we'd realize it really doesn't do anything it's okay that'd be the cheap thing people would have to like lean back with their hands forward to try to get, like, as if your punches don't matter, but the dick touching your does.

[876] Yeah, like, he's going to touch you and give you cooties.

[877] Yeah.

[878] He's going to zap you.

[879] It's got like an electric yield dick.

[880] I'm going to pee.

[881] Right here?

[882] Yeah, I don't want to leave.

[883] You're going to use a kombucha bottle?

[884] Yeah, man, it's the healthiest bottle to pee -in -to.

[885] You've done this twice.

[886] Really?

[887] Yeah, we've done this in the podcast before.

[888] Great.

[889] For sure.

[890] I like the fact that you're willing to do that, too.

[891] I don't think we can show it on YouTube, though, so we'll have to move away.

[892] Oh, all right, guys, guys, dick out.

[893] Cambuja bottle is a great.

[894] too because they got a big opening so it doesn't vacuum up how often do you pee do you pee several every day every day every day but do you like one of them or healthy water drinker dudes i pee a lot do you are you a healthy water drinker dude interesting detail this just happened oh you ran out oh no uh hold on a second Jamie go to the recycling get me something it's all right I'm pinching I got a strong grip I mean you can move it don't have to take it why you're touching the bottom A cup?

[895] Not a bottle?

[896] Hold on.

[897] Hold on.

[898] It seems like a...

[899] Oh man, it's going back in, though.

[900] I can feel it's starting to swell back in.

[901] That's not healthy.

[902] I've been pinching too long.

[903] Should I pee into the cup?

[904] A bottle.

[905] Oh, you emptied it.

[906] Oh, thanks, man. Oh, yeah, a lot went back into my urethra.

[907] Ari Shafir couldn't hold in his pee, ladies and gentlemen.

[908] Couldn't means wouldn't.

[909] Filled up one kombucha bottle.

[910] Here's a cap there, fella.

[911] And then filled it up again.

[912] I had to go empty it out for him.

[913] Thanks for doing that.

[914] It's a real friend.

[915] Yeah.

[916] I didn't want to leave you hanging there, dude.

[917] There was only one solution.

[918] I almost went to the kitchen sink.

[919] And then I'm going to like, ooh, then we'd have to rinse that out.

[920] That shit would be nasty.

[921] Dude, that bathroom sink is nasty.

[922] You don't have a cleaner in here?

[923] No. Oh, it's like it looks like a bachelor.

[924] We're on their way out of the space.

[925] Oh, man. It's not that bad.

[926] It's not that bad.

[927] You just got used to.

[928] You've slowly seen it get worse and worse.

[929] I like gas station bathroom.

[930] Trying to recreate that here.

[931] I try to recreate that here.

[932] I should definitely have someone come in and come out.

[933] It's a fucking 409.

[934] Yeah.

[935] Do you like doing your podcast?

[936] Like the way you're doing it, you just like have a subject for the most part.

[937] I mean, you can deviate once you start talking.

[938] But you have like a set thing that you want to talk to someone about.

[939] Yeah, it keeps me focused.

[940] And then it's also like I get to ask real detailed question of stuff I want to ask about.

[941] Right.

[942] You know?

[943] Yeah.

[944] And usually I get it with some level of expert, not like the best in the world, but someone has experience with something.

[945] Like I'm an expert on stand -up comedy.

[946] You know, I've been one.

[947] Right.

[948] So if you were doing that, I could tell you all about stand -up.

[949] I know more than most people in the world.

[950] You know about hunting more than most people, you know?

[951] Not really.

[952] Yeah, but you've done it more than like Ian Edwards.

[953] than the average person.

[954] Yeah, than the average person.

[955] People who actually know it, I'm very novice.

[956] Right.

[957] I'm always asking questions.

[958] You're aware of it enough to be like, yeah, I know about that world.

[959] Yeah, I know a little bit about that world.

[960] Yeah.

[961] So, yeah, I like doing it that way.

[962] But, like, imagine if a five -year comics are talking about what stand -up is.

[963] That'd be a problem.

[964] Shut up, annoying boy.

[965] It does take a lot longer with stand -up.

[966] It's the same with hunting.

[967] Really?

[968] Yeah, I'm a five -year hunter.

[969] So for me, I just shut the fuck up and listen to the people that actually know what's going on.

[970] Yeah.

[971] Or parrot what they say.

[972] it's too complicated hunting is super complicated there's a lot involved in that yeah but generally it's like like theo vaughan climbed kilamajaro did he really you're up to base camp or something i don't know something like that i love that guy oh he's great he's so funny man yeah yeah he's really hilarious he's so funny he had i was in the back of the oar the other night and he was killing me yeah i mean killing me to a point where i was i was crying tears are rolling down my face he's so silly Brad Pitt, that bit?

[973] Yes, I did.

[974] I did, yeah.

[975] Yeah, he's real funny, Theo Vaugh.

[976] He's really funny.

[977] Like, if you get a chance to see him, folks, if you're out in the road, unless Ari's in town.

[978] Jason Tebow does an impression of him for Punch drunk.

[979] Does he?

[980] Yeah, it'll just come in sometimes, him and Dean Del Rey.

[981] He's just like, oh, I'm talking to Theo now.

[982] He does it so good with that accent.

[983] That's hilarious.

[984] I know, that's part of what's funny about him, too, is his accent.

[985] He's just fucking great.

[986] So many funny guys there, man. Dude, he stayed at my apartment one month.

[987] I think it was in Edinburgh last year.

[988] So he stayed at my place.

[989] And he was like, oh, man, Ari, I got heavy into Coke.

[990] He just went fucking nuts.

[991] That's hilarious.

[992] But he left to clean.

[993] Better than anybody else who stayed there.

[994] Really?

[995] Yeah.

[996] Duncan left it pretty nice, too.

[997] Yeah.

[998] By the way, that's the thing that kept me out a little bit.

[999] What?

[1000] Is that I was like, Duncan, you can stay in my place.

[1001] Because he was moving to New York right then.

[1002] He was like, oh, don't get an Airbnb.

[1003] Just stay at my place.

[1004] But I was like two days in when I got out there.

[1005] I was like, I've made a huge mistake.

[1006] I should go back home.

[1007] Two days?

[1008] I mean, it was just, yeah.

[1009] Right away, it's so different that I'm like, what am I done?

[1010] This is definitely a mistake.

[1011] Well, what was the initial thought behind it?

[1012] Like, what did you think?

[1013] Do you think that this is what I need to recharge?

[1014] No, I even wanted to see the world for a while, you know?

[1015] I had one good, this guy Turner brought me out to a, a tour of China.

[1016] And I just sort of saw some of that place.

[1017] And it was like, just so, like, the really, the meaning of the word foreign, you know?

[1018] Yeah.

[1019] Just way different.

[1020] And it's like, I just wanted to see more of that world.

[1021] And then I went with PDC to Thailand a couple years ago.

[1022] Went to one of those full moon parties.

[1023] And I just got more like, I want to see things.

[1024] I did a Scandinavian tour last year.

[1025] I made sure to leave days off in between shows so I can really see some of the cities.

[1026] I don't know, man. I just get off and, like, seeing new.

[1027] new versions of the world and new experience and what people care about well I think we love to compartmentalize and to look at our specific area because I think it's a part of being a human until recently like until you could travel like this like what people liked was knowing the sort of security of their environment they know their environment well they're around all the time there's no surprises I got this place a locked down unsafe but it's not adventurous it's not adventurous So this new thing that people were able to do, only really within the last hundred years, where you could just get up and travel.

[1028] Yeah.

[1029] And just, I mean, I guess there's probably world travelers deep.

[1030] Before.

[1031] Yeah, before.

[1032] For sure.

[1033] But, I mean, how many of them did it recreationally?

[1034] Dude, it's so easy now.

[1035] Yeah.

[1036] You can stay at hostels for cheap as fuck, you know, meet people and have them tell you what there is to do where you are or where to go, where to not go.

[1037] When do you think that that was really an acceptable thing?

[1038] Hostiles?

[1039] No, no, no. I mean, world travel.

[1040] Oh.

[1041] Like, when were you an invader?

[1042] Oh, right.

[1043] And when did it become okay to be a tourist?

[1044] I think it was always sort of okay to be like some guy in foreign lands, as long as you're by yourself and not like an invading, you know, force.

[1045] But if you want to just visit somewhere.

[1046] Right.

[1047] I just wonder how many people did it.

[1048] Yeah, I know.

[1049] Here's what I noticed in Hong Kong and Shanghai, which are banking centers.

[1050] And the people that would come to the shows, expats, Hong Kong had more locals because they speak English there.

[1051] But in Shanghai, let's say.

[1052] And it's like, if you're an English banker from London or somebody from New York and you took the job in Shanghai, China, like, you have to have some adventurous bone to you instead of staying in New York or staying in London.

[1053] You have to be saying like, yeah, I'm going to go with my kids or without my kids.

[1054] I'm going to go fucking do this new thing.

[1055] Yeah.

[1056] And, yeah, I mean, just to want to go do that.

[1057] You can do it now.

[1058] There's jobs everywhere.

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] My friend William, Childress, he moved to Myanmar.

[1061] He got a job offer.

[1062] He's an architect.

[1063] Wow.

[1064] So he's building houses in Myanmar?

[1065] Yeah.

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] Yeah, designing them.

[1068] Yeah.

[1069] Yeah, exactly.

[1070] But, like, it just opened up.

[1071] The army just led in people, and he was, like, one of those first wave of people.

[1072] And he started doing stand -up out there.

[1073] Dude, that's got to be a creepy feeling.

[1074] Building prisons.

[1075] Something like that, yeah, designing them.

[1076] And now he's doing stand -up?

[1077] Yeah, he did it all this time there.

[1078] He had the show I did in Bangkok.

[1079] He brought me out there from Myanmar.

[1080] He took a trip there and met me in Bangkok.

[1081] So do you think he's doing comedy to balance out the building prisons?

[1082] No. No, he just does comedy.

[1083] Put a little sunshine.

[1084] I think he's designing something else.

[1085] He's back in America now.

[1086] Because that's building prisons.

[1087] Not that we don't need prisons, not that there aren't bad people that should be locked up.

[1088] That's weird.

[1089] That's not what I'm saying is like you're - He's got to design them so he's going to make it more comfortable maybe.

[1090] Oh, whatever.

[1091] Yeah, exactly.

[1092] Make it so they can't get out.

[1093] That's what it's about.

[1094] Yeah, yeah.

[1095] Yeah.

[1096] They get a little bit of sunshund.

[1097] It's the main thing.

[1098] What's the wall situation?

[1099] It's a crazy thing when someone escapes from prison.

[1100] Wham!

[1101] Wham!

[1102] Wham!

[1103] And let the dogs who goes, War, right, right, right, right, right.

[1104] Can you imagine getting out of prison?

[1105] Oh, my God, I must be so excited.

[1106] Digging a tunnel every night.

[1107] You have to find the way out.

[1108] How do you know the way out?

[1109] How do you escape?

[1110] How about El Chapo?

[1111] He just walks down to the hole that's under his toilet that goes a mile plus in the ground.

[1112] and then pops up at some goofy -ass house and gets in a car and drives off.

[1113] Wow.

[1114] See you, suckers.

[1115] Is he still free or is he?

[1116] No. He's in.

[1117] He's back.

[1118] They caught him.

[1119] Al Chapo.

[1120] They did something.

[1121] He got injured, too.

[1122] Something happened to him.

[1123] He hurt his leg or something like that.

[1124] Running through the tunnels?

[1125] I think he might have, like, broken his leg falling.

[1126] And they're trying to escape.

[1127] You know, he didn't look like he was the most fit fella.

[1128] He's too busy running shit to actually be running.

[1129] Well, El Chapo, if you can hear this.

[1130] July 18th, my Netflix special comes out.

[1131] That's amazing.

[1132] You should shout out to El Chapo.

[1133] You might want to check that out, El Chapo.

[1134] Do you think he speaks English?

[1135] And would the comedy translate to him?

[1136] I think some of it would.

[1137] Sure.

[1138] Some of it would.

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] They'd have to get subtitles on Netflix.

[1141] Right.

[1142] I always wonder, like, that's one of the unique things about, like, learning a language.

[1143] It's the way they structure their sentences is very different.

[1144] Uh -huh.

[1145] So you can't, it's not just this word means that and that word.

[1146] means this so you just replace them no it's interesting when you talk to people from other countries when you're out there and you start to be able to translate their mistranslations like easy things like what time it is right they don't realize like that's a statement not a question right but like you just get to like when they say five years more it means like I've already been here five years that they're not really so you have to like understand what they really mean sort of like that 72 virgins expression uh huh it means like a shitload oh really yeah that's what it means 72 is like a shitload You know Oh right Yeah it's not like a specific number Like when we see a few It's like technically it means three But really just means I don't know A humongous amount Yeah right 72 virgins Really?

[1147] Oh my God And so we all took that as like You think you're getting exactly 72 virgins Exactly No yeah No we don't Yeah I used to do a whole bit about that Suicide bombers Like what page is this whole 72 virgins I remember that yeah it's not even written anywhere shut up you shut up do it okay I just want to know why can't you just tell me what page it's on what a crazy world to think that there are people that will go into crowded areas like in Manchester and just blow themselves up and kill a bunch of people around them balls or just like belief oh belief for sure and then some sort of mental illness for sure there's a lot of issues abuse maybe maybe this physical abuse maybe they're like i have no idea we have an extreme desire to show their love you just think you're at war right who knows who knows what you think you would you know to break down the psychology of someone who's a suicide bomber would be very like you would you would have to do a tremendous amount of research before you started drawing any conclusions it's hard to find them to talk to them too that's a problem that's a problem the theoretical suicide bombers do not apply yeah yeah I'm thinking about doing you have to get guys who whose vest don't go off yeah we got to talk to you even then like what do you you're gonna get he this is a recovered person they got out they got through that moment where they're going to blow themselves up and it didn't happen now they've sort had a chance to think about it how do you charge that guy yeah you know oh yeah I wouldn't do that again.

[1148] I realize it's about today.

[1149] You know there's a different in a deviant sociology.

[1150] There's a different category for people who attempt suicide and people who commit suicide.

[1151] Really?

[1152] In the psyche of it.

[1153] Oh, I see.

[1154] Because their thing is, if you attempted it, you weren't really trying.

[1155] It ain't that hard to do.

[1156] You were probably trying to cry out.

[1157] And the people who do it generally shut up about it more.

[1158] They just do it without telling people like, I'm going to kill myself.

[1159] I want to kill myself.

[1160] So somebody said, if people say they want to kill themselves, that's a good sign that they need help, but that they're not going to kill themselves.

[1161] Hmm.

[1162] There's, is there a different, there's a different mentality between also someone who wants to kill themselves and someone who wants to literally be the bomb that kills a bunch of other people.

[1163] Yeah.

[1164] That's a, if you really believe in heaven and you're going there, though.

[1165] Fucking great.

[1166] Get there.

[1167] Why wait?

[1168] Wow.

[1169] You're for sure going.

[1170] It's like, you know, the Catholic confession on your deathbed and then you go straight to heaven.

[1171] But it's hard to time it, right?

[1172] If you confess all your sins right before you die, you're going to shit.

[1173] You have no sins left.

[1174] You're going to heaven.

[1175] Right.

[1176] But you don't.

[1177] Yeah.

[1178] And that's really hard.

[1179] These guys figured out the way to time it perfectly.

[1180] My act of blowing myself up gets me into, right to weigh all my sins.

[1181] Right.

[1182] One shot.

[1183] Unless, as he blew it up, a part of him goes, fuck, right before he died.

[1184] Then he goes to hell for eternity.

[1185] Too callous, Jamie?

[1186] No. I don't know anybody from Manchester.

[1187] Sorry.

[1188] Just, what if, what if you do it?

[1189] What if you do it and you think you're going to be in heaven?

[1190] Yeah.

[1191] And you press the button, boom.

[1192] And then all of a sudden it's just you disembodied in an infinite black room.

[1193] It's just you.

[1194] Forever.

[1195] And the blackness of infinite space with no stars, just you alone with no body, floating through eternity.

[1196] you just you can experience the blackness of space but with no stars and nothing to look at forever just you just you just your consciousness and realizing how huge you fucked up forever that'd be pretty bad you go crazy right then you come back crazy when you come back for crazy what would even be crazy imagine if you have your consciousness forever with nothing to apply it to nothing to apply to and you're floating through infinity and you don't have a body so you're not going to die.

[1197] That's a pretty bad man. That's a pretty bad punishment.

[1198] That's pretty bad.

[1199] It's not good enough.

[1200] Wow.

[1201] That would be real tough.

[1202] Still not good enough.

[1203] That's You should float forever through eternity while you're feeling like you're choking on dicks.

[1204] Wow.

[1205] Like that feeling for eternity.

[1206] Because if you can exist for a Second, while you're choking on a deck, you could exist for eternity while you're choking on a deck.

[1207] Yeah.

[1208] So that should be the punishment for suicide bombers.

[1209] They had the Simpsons when they had Homer going to hell.

[1210] And then the devil, one of the demons, was like, so you like donuts, do you?

[1211] Try eating a million donuts.

[1212] And there's just a conveyor belt that keeps, like, shoveling donuts into his mouth.

[1213] And he keeps going, more, please.

[1214] More please.

[1215] And then he's getting all fat and big.

[1216] He's like, please more.

[1217] Another one, please.

[1218] Yeah.

[1219] You ever do The Simpsons ride at Universal?

[1220] No. It's fucking amazing.

[1221] Is it really?

[1222] It's crazy.

[1223] It's a giant animated ride.

[1224] You just sit in a car.

[1225] It's one of the best rides ever.

[1226] It's so good.

[1227] Yeah, and it's all happening on a screen, but the car's moving around so it feels real, and it's an enormous fucking really high -resolution screen where it's showing this huge cartoon where this whole thing plays out.

[1228] Oh, it's fucking great.

[1229] It's really good.

[1230] The Simpsons are a national treasure.

[1231] Yeah, they really are.

[1232] It's pretty great.

[1233] It's pretty great.

[1234] My whole adulthood, I guess.

[1235] They've been on since I was in high school.

[1236] Really?

[1237] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with Tracy Elman.

[1238] Dude, they were one of the first Fox shows.

[1239] How many years now?

[1240] Twenty -five or something?

[1241] Something crazy like that.

[1242] 30.

[1243] 30.

[1244] Yeah, me too, high school.

[1245] Dude.

[1246] It's forever ago.

[1247] It's always been there.

[1248] I'll never forget it.

[1249] I remember, like, what a great show.

[1250] Remember when Homer Simpson went to a chili cookoff and the peppers were so hot, he started tripping.

[1251] Yeah.

[1252] He had psychedelic trips.

[1253] You know what those peppers were.

[1254] The merciless.

[1255] The ghost peppers, right?

[1256] Isn't that what it was supposed to be?

[1257] Of Quetzalcate Tananga.

[1258] What is that?

[1259] Is that what they called it?

[1260] The merciless ghost peppers of Quetzalcatenango, grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guateman insane asylum.

[1261] Yeah, that was a great show.

[1262] God damn, what a creative...

[1263] See, that's the thing about, like, Bill Burr's show, F is for Family, too.

[1264] I haven't seen the new ones yet.

[1265] I heard they're great.

[1266] I heard they're really good.

[1267] Of course, it's great.

[1268] Bill's hilarious.

[1269] Yeah.

[1270] But you could do so much cool shit on a cartoon that you can't do in real life.

[1271] Watch the head.

[1272] Watch the head.

[1273] There's.

[1274] Back it up.

[1275] There's that again.

[1276] People get decapitated.

[1277] They get blown up.

[1278] I mean, how many times the South Park killed Kenny?

[1279] Yeah.

[1280] So many of them.

[1281] He's back.

[1282] I mean, he didn't care that he came back.

[1283] He just comes back.

[1284] I love how later they sort of like dealt with it with like the reincarnation sort of stuff.

[1285] And they said, I'm listening things.

[1286] Yeah.

[1287] He remembers all his past lives.

[1288] It's so ridiculous.

[1289] Yeah.

[1290] I love when F's family because there's a real type characters.

[1291] Yeah.

[1292] And they look real.

[1293] Yeah.

[1294] You know, they don't look all like weird.

[1295] weirdo like squid billies type stuff so it's like this is you can believe there's people and when the father is saying to his son fuck you it's like real sharp like oh my god it's not a cartoon but in my opinion like if you got to give wow I mean I was going to say like the all time best is South Park but I don't really think there's an all time best but it's all been great they're all awesome I don't want to like say this is number one this number too, but, like, South Park has had some fucking moments.

[1296] My current, like, I won't miss that show is South Park.

[1297] I mean, for, and for years it's been that.

[1298] You just don't miss any episodes.

[1299] There is no falling behind.

[1300] There's no, like, oh, yeah, somehow I just stopped watching a couple seasons ago.

[1301] It's just like, every year I get so excited and see those posters in the billboard now on the, the billboards on the subway.

[1302] Yeah.

[1303] And it's like, oh, it's back.

[1304] It's a fucking amazing show.

[1305] And it's been amazing forever.

[1306] You ever have Trey Parker on this podcast?

[1307] I would, for sure.

[1308] Oh, you should.

[1309] I would.

[1310] I'd have them both on.

[1311] And Matt, yeah.

[1312] You left Matt out.

[1313] How dare you?

[1314] You don't even care about Matt.

[1315] Do you ever see that show, where they show, the making of South Park?

[1316] It's great.

[1317] Fuck, yeah.

[1318] Documentary.

[1319] It's great.

[1320] He's humbling, right?

[1321] Trey Parker?

[1322] Like his work ethic?

[1323] Oh, yeah.

[1324] The way he goes after it, it's like, whoa.

[1325] Yeah.

[1326] It's like, get the fuck out of that guy's way.

[1327] Out of his way.

[1328] It's pretty much that's that's that.

[1329] He's like, hey, guys, you come out for a second.

[1330] What can I do with this?

[1331] And then someone will say something like, cool.

[1332] And then right back in.

[1333] Yeah.

[1334] That dude from S &L working there that week, and he barely had anything to do.

[1335] Wow.

[1336] I thought it was his name?

[1337] Bill Hater.

[1338] Yeah, Hater.

[1339] What's his name?

[1340] John Hater.

[1341] John Hater?

[1342] Bill Hater.

[1343] Who's John Hater?

[1344] Oh, Napoleon Dynamite.

[1345] Hey, let me ask you this.

[1346] What do you think of Bill Maher?

[1347] I've never been a Bill Maher fan.

[1348] What do you think of this whole recent controversy?

[1349] If I'm just casually dropping an N -Bomb?

[1350] Yeah.

[1351] You know, he was trying to make a joke.

[1352] Exactly, right?

[1353] Yeah.

[1354] I mean, it didn't work.

[1355] But he's trying to be naughty.

[1356] Yeah, that's all.

[1357] But they're making it seem like it's something more.

[1358] Anytime it's worse.

[1359] it's like you said this and it's like yeah said said not did did is worse but it's awesome does he not hire black people is that that's a major issue if he's never hired a black person but i don't think i've heard that so it's like his actions aren't we were talking about before the podcast this thing where uh the where they were talking about the clintons in arkansas yeah in the the governance mansion yeah what what show was that what show was it did you see jamie i read it i didn't see it on a show oh you read it Like, it was getting passed around the internet yesterday.

[1360] Hmm.

[1361] It's got to be Russian disinformation.

[1362] That could be.

[1363] Who knows?

[1364] But apparently was about it.

[1365] When Bill Maher, when they go, like, troubling from Bill Ma...

[1366] I mean, I get it.

[1367] Even the Republican senator they was there with, it was like, uh, what?

[1368] Like, I'm a little uncomfortable with this.

[1369] But sure, be uncomfortable.

[1370] And if a guy I'm watching a guy who uses words that make me uncomfortable all the time, I'll stop watching, I guess.

[1371] You know?

[1372] Twitter erupts over news that Hillary Clinton used black prison labor while First Lady of Arkansas.

[1373] Newsweek .com.

[1374] And what does it have to do with JFK?

[1375] JFK pushed the Democrats to Democrat right in 1968.

[1376] It pushed them to the right.

[1377] In Hillary Clinton did that 2016.

[1378] Huh.

[1379] I don't know.

[1380] Okay, when we moved in, I was told that using prison labor at the governor's mansion was a longstanding tradition, which kept down cost Clinton rights.

[1381] She has that most of the workers were convicted murderers, and she became friendly with, in quotes, a few of them, African -American men in their 30s who had already served 12 to 18 years of their sentences.

[1382] Whoa.

[1383] Despite their alleged friendships with these men, Clinton tells her readers, we enforced rules strictly and sent back to prison any inmate who broke a rule.

[1384] Despite having no psychological qualification, she later asserts that these men did not have inferior IQs or an ability to apply moral reasoning.

[1385] But instead, they may have been emotion, emotional illiterates emotional illiterates I don't know that's what she's saying I like how it says despite having no psychological qualifications she later asserts despite having no ability to say this she said yeah it's kind of weird though that slave labor yeah that is exactly what that is I mean no no it's this tradition it's like yeah but that doesn't mean you should do it let's be honest like how much are they getting paid zero what fucking one pack of cigarettes a week yeah what do they get they do not pay inmates at all.

[1386] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[1387] Clinton makes no mention of whether or not these men received any money for working for her and her husband.

[1388] A 2016 article from Mother Jones notes that when it comes to prison labor, some states include Texas, Arkansas, and Georgia do not pay inmates at all.

[1389] Holy fuck.

[1390] On Twitter, Jing wrote that Hillary Clinton was a direct participant.

[1391] Participant in what Sam Sue, Sway, Sam Sway, it's at Sam Sway on Twitter, I guess, correctly described as modern slavery.

[1392] A hundred percent.

[1393] Dude, that's 100 percent slavery.

[1394] If you don't pay someone, you make them work because they did a crime.

[1395] That's a crazy thing.

[1396] We don't let them vote.

[1397] But you're making them work.

[1398] That's what's crazy about it.

[1399] It's like it's not just that you're your freedom's taken away and they lock you in a box.

[1400] But they all.

[1401] also make you work.

[1402] Saying your lives aren't worth anything.

[1403] We can make you do whatever you want.

[1404] Yeah, and that dude from Phoenix makes you work in pink.

[1405] Oh, yeah, that...

[1406] Jalapaio guy.

[1407] Yeah.

[1408] Yeah, he's a interesting case.

[1409] He makes you put pink on.

[1410] To embarrass you.

[1411] Yeah, do you get embarrassed when you wear in pink?

[1412] I wear pink sometimes.

[1413] I don't give a fuck.

[1414] Okay, I'm not a big pink wearer.

[1415] I'll occasionally wear a pink.

[1416] I'll admit, I'm not a big pink wearer.

[1417] Yeah.

[1418] But at the same time, I don't care about it.

[1419] I'm not scared of a color.

[1420] I'm a rational person.

[1421] I remember in high school, like 13, 14, wearing pink ties and stuff, like, Shull, being a little embarrassed, but also being like, this looks good.

[1422] And then learning the word salmon makes it way more easier.

[1423] You know, Gene LaBelle always wore a pink judo gee.

[1424] Really?

[1425] Yep.

[1426] Why?

[1427] It's clean and sober, it says, on all of them.

[1428] Clean and sober with pink shirts, probably because they were drug offenders, right?

[1429] Yeah.

[1430] He gets upset.

[1431] He wants everybody clean.

[1432] I mean, it's better than him.

[1433] And sober.

[1434] Oh, there's an ing in quotes around.

[1435] that that silly rascal.

[1436] And he's not taken out, ever.

[1437] Pink.

[1438] So judo Gene LaBelle was like one of the toughest men that's ever lived, did his judo with a pink guy on.

[1439] Why?

[1440] Fuck you.

[1441] That's why.

[1442] Google judo Gene LaBelle.

[1443] Judo Gene LaBelle was, he was a, I know he was a national champion in judo, and I think he won a gold medal in the Olympics.

[1444] Dude, I saw Clay Guida see him once And there's when Clay Guita was coming up So he wasn't like he was in the cheap seats with us Right And he saw Judo Gene in like the section Where you sit And he was like oh fuck He just jumped I don't know how he got past security Just like ran past them Just to go get that guy a hug What is Gene?

[1445] There's Gene LeBelle and's pinky What is Gene LaBelle's his accomplishments He's had a shitload of accomplishments In judo but literally he's the guy He definitely did some training with Ronda And he's also the guy that exposed Bruce Lee to grappling.

[1446] Oh, really?

[1447] To joint locks and joint manipulations.

[1448] What does it say here?

[1449] National Champion.

[1450] So he won the AAU National Judo Championships in 54 and in 55.

[1451] North American Heavyweight Championship.

[1452] See, NWA, all that stuff, I think, is like fake wrestling.

[1453] Oh, really?

[1454] Yeah.

[1455] He is real wrestling and professional.

[1456] NWA is fake.

[1457] There's no tag team in real wrestling.

[1458] So he was a national champion.

[1459] Is there real?

[1460] For some reason, I thought he was an Olympic champion That I might have made that up Is there Greco -Roman tag team?

[1461] No, that's not real Oh Man, that's great So, um, you can see Like, uh, there's a million pictures of him wearing this ridiculous, uh, pink ghee How do I not know his His, uh, accomplishments in judo?

[1462] But in, and as far as like, uh...

[1463] Yeah, he's crazy.

[1464] He's always been crazy too.

[1465] He had a, uh, one of the first...

[1466] Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a great.

[1467] great guy.

[1468] He had one of the first mixed martial arts fights, too.

[1469] He fought a boxer.

[1470] Simone said he could, uh, he would go down there with Piper.

[1471] I guess Piper would train with him.

[1472] Mm -hmm.

[1473] Um, and, uh, he said we'd go down there and he get calls all the time for people challenging him, Judo Gene.

[1474] Like, I can beat you up.

[1475] And he would just answer the phone all day.

[1476] He's going, well, come on.

[1477] Prove yourself.

[1478] I'm here.

[1479] I'll take you.

[1480] All right.

[1481] Well, I'm here.

[1482] Eight to seven.

[1483] Every day.

[1484] Bye.

[1485] Just like, sound of people are like, fuck you.

[1486] Come.

[1487] I'll roll with you.

[1488] I'll beat you.

[1489] He was, like, in his 60s, and he caught some kids breaking into cars in his neighborhood.

[1490] Yeah.

[1491] And one kid came after him, and he just fucking manhandled this poor kid and threw him on the ground.

[1492] Imagine being thrown on the ground.

[1493] Like some 65 -year -old?

[1494] 65 -year -old judo black belt.

[1495] I'll show this guy what's up.

[1496] Blam!

[1497] What the fuck?

[1498] Yeah.

[1499] He put two dudes to sleep while they're trying to break in a cars.

[1500] He's just a different kind of human being.

[1501] you know it's just like if he got a hold of you it's like it's got being grabbed by some sort of a primate you know imagine what surprised it on your face yeah you just feel so weak if once you were in the air you'd be like how is this happening like before he slams your head off the ground you've got to be thinking how is you just throwing me around like this what a weird specialty the specialty of throwing bodies around yeah you could become really good at throwing people's bodies around.

[1502] Did you see that, uh, what's it called?

[1503] Boom, that's beautiful technique.

[1504] Oh, nice.

[1505] Putin giving some kid technique off the sideline here.

[1506] Oh, wow.

[1507] Wow, that's good.

[1508] Boom, that kid has some technique.

[1509] Oh, so Putin's like, hell yeah, bro.

[1510] Man, Putin walking on the mats with his shoes.

[1511] Come on, dude.

[1512] Putin would fuck up.

[1513] I would bet Putin would fuck up all the world leaders if we had a round robin.

[1514] You think so?

[1515] MMA contest with all world leaders.

[1516] Yeah, I got my money on Putin.

[1517] Definitely the big powers.

[1518] He's going to...

[1519] He's going to win.

[1520] He's an actual judo, a black belt.

[1521] Oh, yeah.

[1522] It's real weird.

[1523] This looks like this bird literally looks like it salutes him back.

[1524] It should.

[1525] It's goddamn Putin.

[1526] Bird knows his place.

[1527] Salute, motherfucker.

[1528] Salute.

[1529] What?

[1530] That's got to be fake.

[1531] How does he bend his wing over?

[1532] You know, man, the real question with a guy like Putin is not like how much does he control it's like what happens if that guy dies oh yeah who takes over that power dude the vacuum of power behind that guy must be stunning they're uh democracy right russia sort of totalitarian democracy no they have some sort of a democracy they have some sort of an election process yeah yeah it's uh president gorbachev right president as long as you're not running against Putin seems to function fairly well He just took over again Then he was the president And he went away He just came back Like fuck you guys And took it over again I think he came back again in 2012 He's been back for a while Yeah but not that long Yeah he was gone for a while And then some other dude got into power And he's like hey man You're the president And the guys are Okay Okay Okay It's look It's not admirable That's the guy from Narcos did Right He wanted to be just in government So he could run shit Yeah What was his name?

[1533] Escobar.

[1534] Eskabar.

[1535] How good is that actor who plays him?

[1536] He's so good.

[1537] What is his name?

[1538] What is his name?

[1539] The dude who plays Pablo Escobar?

[1540] God damn.

[1541] That guy's good.

[1542] And he's smoking reaper all day.

[1543] All day.

[1544] Just like a normal thing.

[1545] I forget his name now.

[1546] Respect.

[1547] God, that guy's good.

[1548] By the way, if you're watching a, what's it called?

[1549] What's that name of the show?

[1550] Narcos.

[1551] When you're done, make sure on July 18th and beyond to catch my new Netflix double special.

[1552] You'll already be on Netflix.

[1553] No sense of going back out to the Apple TV.

[1554] Oh, my goodness.

[1555] What day is that again?

[1556] July 18th, Joe.

[1557] It's Tuesday.

[1558] July 18th, all over the world.

[1559] Fantastic.

[1560] At midnight Pacific time.

[1561] Are you going on the road at all?

[1562] No. No, just fucking around, coming up with material, putting shit together.

[1563] Just coming up in the 15s.

[1564] Looks like you're having fun up there.

[1565] Oh, yeah.

[1566] Was it weird to not be on stage?

[1567] Or did you go on stage at all?

[1568] No. I went to one show in Phnom Penh.

[1569] Saw a show.

[1570] Did you get the itch?

[1571] they asked me they knew me they asked me to go up wow and you said no i was like no well one i was like i really wanted to see what like the fully long break would do no sense of breaking it up right just for one set somewhere it would be cool to perform in cambodia to mark that off a list you know i like doing that that's my like bird watching kind of stuff like what countries that performed in cambodia yeah wow um but i was like no also i didn't want to be going around for the next two months with the fucking bomb on my shoulders like you know what i mean i don't need the fucking walk around with that as like my last set oh so if you went up there and ate dick yeah and then i'm like have i started losing it i'm gone i'm already nervous about that i don't want to fucking people like what do i'm like i don't even know anymore yes what was it like the first time on stage after that long break a little weird i tell them a story so i could at least base myself in like in like uh things that happened mm -hmm you know a narrative yeah a narrative less is expected.

[1572] But then the next day I did, Nate Bargatsy was there, it said Nashville.

[1573] Oh, so that's when I came home.

[1574] So they wanted to do this show in Third Man Records.

[1575] So I just wrote them a letter and I was like, hey, if you still want to do that, add it to the website, I'll be home, I'll just come home, I'll see it.

[1576] Right.

[1577] I'll check it.

[1578] So I did Nate Bargatsian friends the next day.

[1579] And that was just stand -up and that was like a little lost.

[1580] It was weird.

[1581] Yeah.

[1582] It was rusty around the edge.

[1583] and I got to like 12 or 13 minutes and I didn't want to do anything from the special.

[1584] So I was just like, what do I have new?

[1585] And I tried something that I thought of then on the road, which wasn't much.

[1586] I kind of shut my brain off to that a little bit.

[1587] Like instead of like writing jokes.

[1588] Right, just live.

[1589] Yeah, a couple of topics and I was like, but that's it.

[1590] What if you had an awesome idea that just came to you out of nowhere?

[1591] I'd just bother writing it down?

[1592] Yeah, I wrote that like just an idea.

[1593] Like I saw two, this hasn't worked, so I'll just say it.

[1594] I saw two dogs at the end of fucking, so many stray dogs out there.

[1595] Yeah.

[1596] And it's everywhere.

[1597] It's everywhere.

[1598] And eventually it ends up on menus too.

[1599] Ooh.

[1600] Just because it's like, it's like fish, man. They're everywhere.

[1601] Jesus.

[1602] Yeah.

[1603] Why wouldn't you kill one to survive?

[1604] Did you eat any dog?

[1605] I did not.

[1606] Only because when I saw it on a menu, it's called RW in East Timor, it was like, they have this the Indonesian style of food, which is warroons.

[1607] It's just like windows with like food left out.

[1608] So you know how like pizza places in New York, you point to a slice and they'll take it and warm it up?

[1609] Right.

[1610] So it's like that, but they don't warm it up and it's meat.

[1611] so it's like bits of fish or chicken or beef and then that was like dog so if it was hot out of the oven I might have gone for it but not left over cold cold dog over rice it looked good though it looked good I had asked her four times what she said I had to keep checking my like translator and I was like no I think you're saying it wrong she was like yeah she had to act out like balk balk balk no that's not a dog rough rough I just do chicken trying to do dog my friend stephen ronello was telling me that they regard it as a hot food not necessarily even just meaning spicy oh really the dog is like a hot food meaning like there's like there's like there's something to it oh it's like there's a special energy that you get from eating dog yeah whoa that's dark i can see that because they seem more like intelligent You know, they have, seems to have feelings.

[1612] Jesus.

[1613] Hot food, like human meat.

[1614] You gain their souls.

[1615] He did a show with this guy where they shot and ate a coyote.

[1616] Yeah.

[1617] They cooked a coyote like they would cook like wild game.

[1618] And they opened it up.

[1619] They burned off all the hair.

[1620] And then they split it and threw it over like a grate and cooked it over coals.

[1621] Just threw some seasoning on it.

[1622] It's crackling and cooking.

[1623] And they just cut pieces of this coyote off.

[1624] And it's like, and I was watching this going, why is it so disturbing when we choose one animal over another?

[1625] Why is that so disturbing?

[1626] Like, why is that coyote any different than a pig, which is totally normal?

[1627] It's just pet -wise.

[1628] That's, I think that's all boils down to.

[1629] When you don't have that, you don't have it.

[1630] It's even weirder than that because nobody's got a pet coyote.

[1631] Dude, I saw something, yeah.

[1632] It's close enough to your dog that it can fuck your dog and get it pregnant.

[1633] Yeah, and they're like, oh, we don't like that.

[1634] Yeah.

[1635] reminds me of it's it's so close to a dog it's so close to a dog that if it fucks your dog it'll make puppies yeah i went to uh rooster fights that seems so crazy doesn't that seem so crazy imagine if a chicken could fuck your parakeet and make something still parakeet opens the cake and gets in the parrot cage just fucks a shit out of them a chicken and a parrot's cage would be hilarious yeah they're different species yeah but pretty much it looked like the same thing chicken just fucks the shit out of that parrot all the time you thought you had a girl parrot you know the chicken all because just laying eggs chicken gets in there fucked the shit out of it roosters are ruthless man I don't have any I don't have any roosters but we were really worried when we were getting chickens The one would turn out to be rooster Yeah we had that when I was growing up My parents had to give him away Because I had to bring him into the garage every night Because we got the neighbors The fucking middle of suburbs And they're just like What in the fuck?

[1636] Two hours before sun up Yeah It's not sun up way before it's on up.

[1637] Really?

[1638] They can sense it coming.

[1639] Oh, those cunts.

[1640] Oh, oh, yeah.

[1641] Just screaming next to your neighbor.

[1642] Like, what the fuck?

[1643] Yeah, we were in Santa Barbara and some guy had one, but he had it like thousand, two thousand yards away.

[1644] Really?

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] It was far, but you could still hear it.

[1647] But it was kind of cool because you could hear, it wasn't obnoxious, like if it was right next door.

[1648] Like, it was way across this canyon.

[1649] I was like, cool yeah like that wouldn't even bother me i got used to it being out there all those countries they just had them around so wherever you were sleeping there were thin walls you just hear them dude i want to get peacocks cool we had peacocks i want to get pet peacocks i'm gonna go full hunter s thompson have some pet peacocks i had to bury one of them did you yeah he fucking reach his head out of the lattice work to try to like eat the grass right outside and a fox was just waiting for him took his head left the body inside foxes are clever clever girl very clever i went to a rooster fight in uh in uh timor leste did you really yeah in terms of like what we accept and what they will you know different things dude they're doing that shit in insino are they really i guess so right i know a place wow you can go to there's there's places i want to there's places in the valley there's places in the valley that might as well be mexico like you have certain neighborhoods i've never seen the actual fights but i've seen the fighting roosters i've seen the pens there's a hundred is a dude that i know who knows a dude who's got like a hundred of them in his backyard.

[1650] Wow.

[1651] Fight and roosters.

[1652] In a lot of these, like, Mexican neighborhoods, dude, it's like super normal.

[1653] They don't view it as weird at all where I saw it.

[1654] They were like, you're not taking pictures.

[1655] I'm like, oh, I didn't want to, like, you know, get you guys in trouble.

[1656] Like, why do you get us in trouble?

[1657] What do you mean?

[1658] We're outside.

[1659] Right.

[1660] In those countries, it's not bad at all.

[1661] The general owns the fucking ring where they all put to it.

[1662] It's hilarious.

[1663] But then if you can do that, then you can justify dogs.

[1664] Like, well, what do we do about dogs?

[1665] Well, dogs are a little.

[1666] smarter.

[1667] It's a little different.

[1668] There's strays out there.

[1669] They are stray A's.

[1670] California authorities seize over 7 ,000 birds in the largest cockfighting bust in U .S. history.

[1671] Wow.

[1672] Jesus Christ.

[1673] Three weeks ago.

[1674] Jesus Christ.

[1675] In the Valley.

[1676] Santa Prieta Valley.

[1677] See, I told you.

[1678] I'm making this up.

[1679] That's Methtown anyway.

[1680] You say Methtown?

[1681] I say rooster town.

[1682] Hundreds of gaffers.

[1683] Yeah.

[1684] They put these razors on the back of their back claw.

[1685] isn't it I mean it's they give them steroids really for the animals were also recovered I didn't see any of syringes and steroids they got juiced up chickens ready to fuck you up can you imagine I want to like do a vice land piece on that watch these dudes shoot their fucking chickens up with steroids and have them go out there and Hulk out wow 2700 birds they went back to the same spot but here's the thing man we're 10 years earlier it doesn't bother it doesn't bother you Or me like it would if it was dogs No, it just doesn't But I'll be out Yeah, no, right They don't look like us Not nearly But I was, I thought it would be like Really barbaric until you see it You're like, oh, it's not really that bad at all I've seen dog fights I was in New Orleans I saw a dog fight You did?

[1686] Yeah, impromptu I don't know, I was out with my friends It was a pit One fucking pit bull came in And another pit bull came into this pit And we're like, what's going on?

[1687] And they did it And it was, I mean, vicious It was vicious.

[1688] These cock fights are just like They fly at each other a couple times, and then one gets like woozy, knead, and then falls.

[1689] It's a cockfight, right?

[1690] Yeah, that looks like one.

[1691] Inside, huh?

[1692] See, the dog fighting thing, man?

[1693] The dog fighting thing to those people, I mean, the people that believe in it, I'm sure they would argue with you that there's no difference between dog fighting and rooster fighting.

[1694] Probably not.

[1695] Most people think there is because dogs are smarter.

[1696] But it was also bloodier.

[1697] Oh, yeah.

[1698] It was just like more, like, them ripping each other's fucking.

[1699] everything out yeah the other the father fights it's over 30 seconds and you don't even see blood most of the time it's just it's just there yeah but but yeah in terms of animal if i saw a dead animal on the side of the road would bother me more a dog or a rooster it's on youtube they have cockfighting on youtube the world slasher cup oh the world slasher cup yeah they've been waiting for the other dude i devr this watch that guy's gonna hit the other one in the back to move him or he's gonna pick him up and throw them towards the other one is that what they do yeah they're not going out of each other yet so they have to really throw them towards each other so Most of the time if they put a rooster near a rooster See that he's got it tied Yeah they'll come out to each other They're probably like what the fuck is going on So in their back foot Here we go Oh then they're going out of each other Oh my God And one will start pecking the other one soon So they're catching each other with these feet And they're slicing them apart That's a normal way of fighting too See the other one's fucked That one is fucked He's down It's dead They stop it Oh my god They must be both mangled though Yeah he gets Tastes of blood Peck at him The ref has to choose when it's over He's called it He's called it Wow Dude, that rooster got fucked up Mm -hmm How fast that is Yeah So you don't even see really How it's like barbair It's just quick and over Do you think that?

[1700] Yeah, because they're covering all those feathers And then they eat that one tonight Do they?

[1701] Oh yeah So where I saw the winner The owner of the winner Gets to eat the loser They take it home with them on their bike Whoa And they're eating chicken tonight How weird And do you think that rooster fights again?

[1702] I saw them sewing a rooster up Oh, Jesus Christ.

[1703] They said he gets two months off, gets to live a fun life for a while, and then he'll be back in fighting.

[1704] But he didn't, so sometimes the winners get nothing happen to them.

[1705] Sometimes they get a little fuck too.

[1706] Jesus.

[1707] Sometimes they both die.

[1708] Wow.

[1709] These are the rooster houses?

[1710] Wow.

[1711] It's in Kentucky.

[1712] Holy shit.

[1713] But wait a minute, that looks like a dog house.

[1714] That looks like what they do with pits.

[1715] Is that really roosters?

[1716] That's crazy.

[1717] Oh, they're on top of it.

[1718] And they sleep under if it rains?

[1719] Yeah, I guess so.

[1720] The places where they fight dogs, they'll have like a giant yard and they'll have like 10 dogs plus out there on chains and they're all connected to these little tiny houses just like that.

[1721] It's really creepy because they're not really dogs.

[1722] I mean, they're dogs in the sense of the actual animal they are as dogs, but there are these things.

[1723] Not pet like at all.

[1724] No, there's no pet to them.

[1725] They're these things that have been, they're just bred to fight.

[1726] And I'm sure they can handle them.

[1727] you know i'm sure there's like a few commands they understand but their life is not about being pet and loved they're like uh climbing on the bed calisi's army what's what's their name what do they call james get off oh yeah they were just slaves trained to fight they're eunuchs but that's not what they call themselves but drogo something no god damn it yeah fuck that show needs to come back it takes a while this unsullied unsullied unsullied the unsullied yeah yeah yeah that's what those dogs are they're like unsullied yeah well they just they have their dicks and balls though the unsullied the problem with those guys is they've been neutered so they can't fight that good because they don't have any testosterone yeah these dogs have everything they're ready to rock and roll they just live to fight and that that moment that they get to fight is like the only thing they're looking forward to and they're brief and like really miserable existence so the more they exercise them the more they just train them and get them ramped up they're just prepping them for this one moment where he gets to do what he actually wants to do.

[1728] What he's made to do in life?

[1729] It's not even his fault.

[1730] It's like that dog's bred that way.

[1731] They've encouraged that behavior like generation after generation by careful selection, culling dogs that don't fit the criteria.

[1732] It's one of the reasons why people love pit bull so much.

[1733] Like once you have a pit bull, other dogs seem so dumb.

[1734] Because they're so smart?

[1735] They're so tuned into you.

[1736] And they're like, like, I remember Squeaky From?

[1737] Uh -huh.

[1738] She was like a little demon she was like tuned into me and she would lock onto me but if any other dog got anywhere near her and tried to take my attention she would kill it in front of me really she would just want it dead it's like get the fuck away from him really yeah they just they're very intense and tuned into you and a lot of people like it well she got her she was already a um she was a pound dog i got her she was like 11 months old and she was cut up she had she had definitely been in some sort of a fight whether it's an organized one or something but she was a mess from the moment I got her she was just such a cute little dog and loved you to death just couldn't couldn't leave you alone want to sit right next to you put her head in your lab just a big sweetie just the sweetest dog ever but like these eyes there's like they had like um ready to die for you eyes is that the one you had to put down yeah yeah just killed my other dog yeah it's not good fuck yeah they're um the nature is not their fault.

[1739] They've essentially been selected over many, many, many, many generations to be incredibly dog aggressive, incredibly prey -driven and almost impervious to reacting to pain.

[1740] That's what's so terrifying about them is that they don't care.

[1741] They like to fight.

[1742] They're not worried about getting hurt.

[1743] They're looking forward to this.

[1744] They want to do it.

[1745] They're wagging their tail and they're biting each other.

[1746] It's crazy.

[1747] They wag their tails.

[1748] They're locked faces on each other and their tails are wagging back and forth like they're having the greatest time i saw a thing for some like oc county fair they train their dogs to do tricks and shit and they said they've gotten to the point where this reminds me of this where the treat they get for for crashing the frisbee eventually becomes the frisbee so like they're trying to catch like cool i got to grab that frisbee thank you and i can throw it again so like i got to grab the frisbee again you know instead of Like, I get the Frisbee so I can get this fucking piece of meat.

[1749] Right, right, right.

[1750] So it seems like those dogs, too.

[1751] It's like, oh, I did the task.

[1752] Thank you for letting me do that.

[1753] Yeah.

[1754] That's what I wanted to do.

[1755] They get those working dogs.

[1756] You ever been around, like, a real working German Shepherd?

[1757] No. Dude, they're so intense.

[1758] They're like a live wire.

[1759] First of all, they're, like, a real big German Shepherd is probably like, I want to say, like, 90 pounds?

[1760] Like, let's Google, what's a big German Shepherd?

[1761] big German Shepherd.

[1762] It's not the hugest dog in the world.

[1763] They're not like a mastiff but they are so fast and they're so taught.

[1764] They're just like fucking ready to go.

[1765] Ready to go and looking at you and this dude was demonstrating different, he trains dogs for the police department.

[1766] Yeah.

[1767] He was demonstrating different things.

[1768] 71 pounds is a big one.

[1769] Oh, adult male, 88 pounds.

[1770] So yeah, close to 90 pounds.

[1771] I got attacked by one of those wearing a suit once.

[1772] Dude.

[1773] It's so strong.

[1774] Oh, they're so strong.

[1775] They just keep wriggling your hand until you're on the ground.

[1776] They're just so, they're so fast.

[1777] They're, and you've got to think.

[1778] They're so fast.

[1779] They're on you.

[1780] They let them go, like, go, do, do, jump.

[1781] Now think that, right?

[1782] That's a 90 -pound animal.

[1783] Now, think of a wolf.

[1784] Yeah.

[1785] Double that.

[1786] Oh, wow.

[1787] Double that and have it more athletic, stronger, much harder bite.

[1788] You ever seen a wolf in the wild?

[1789] No, almost.

[1790] I think I might have, but it was, it was so dark.

[1791] I could only see that it was some sort of a dog -like creature that was running across the dirt road ahead of us while we're in hunting camp waiting to get picked up.

[1792] Whoa.

[1793] Nervous.

[1794] Yeah.

[1795] A little bit.

[1796] Yeah, when you're standing outside in grizzly country and there's wolves.

[1797] So you can't wander off to go piss?

[1798] No fucking way.

[1799] You're off to be together.

[1800] You have to be together and you both have to be paying attention and you should talk.

[1801] And since it's out, it's late at night, you don't have to even worry about whispering.

[1802] Like, you're not trying to, like, you're not trying to scare anything.

[1803] trying to let things know that you're there oh right so they're not surprised by you not surprised by you they hear you coming they can avoid you if they choose to but if something decides that's going to come towards you like this size of these wolves god damn dude if you saw a wolf in the woods i wouldn't even be trust i wouldn't even trust that one thing was dead i know i'd be like oh man look at the size of these things wow these are enormous wolves oh that's a dead one the one in the top middle you know what's really interesting these wolves that you're seeing although they're all just wolves.

[1804] These wolves are wolves from Canada.

[1805] And it's one of the reasons why they're so big.

[1806] One of the reasons why they've been so devastating to elk populations and deer populations.

[1807] Oh, look that one's got a deer in his mouth.

[1808] Half a fucking carcass.

[1809] Yeah, a leg.

[1810] Just a leg with a...

[1811] Dude.

[1812] He looks thin, too.

[1813] They're so powerful.

[1814] They're just incredibly powerful, incredibly cunning killers that act in packs.

[1815] And love the snow.

[1816] They love it.

[1817] They can do shit in the snow where other animals are fucked like they can run through the snow they thrive in ridiculous cold environments because that's when other animals are vulnerable and they can wreck havoc on them they're a crazy animal man but they look like a dog so we have this weird connection with them where we think of them as dogs like it's our friend it's mr fluffy they're shaped the same way exactly i mean they do look nice yeah and when you see him alone you're like oh if that was you know with no scale off if i can remember i'll tell you this bit i'm doing about it about wolves.

[1818] It was a real encounter I had with a dog and a wolf, or a dog met a wolf for the first time.

[1819] Really?

[1820] Yeah, I'll tell you later.

[1821] Okay.

[1822] But it's, it's, um, that animal is not the same animal that used to be here.

[1823] They killed a bunch of wolves, so they had to reintroduce wolves to try to bring the population back.

[1824] Oh, really?

[1825] But when they reintroduced wolves, they brought them in from Canada.

[1826] I said, they're way bigger.

[1827] They're like, Canadian moose are bigger.

[1828] They're Canadian people are bigger.

[1829] It's like, they're, you know, polar bears.

[1830] It's a fucking hardier climate up there man you get a different different sort of an animal oh they got the wrong ones they got a big ass wolf it was way bigger so you can't ever just like go off because they'll see the way for you to be alone well they definitely could if they chose to most of the time they avoid the fuck out of people they seem to know that if they fuck up and do something to people then bullets start coming and then everybody dies like they're smart enough to kind of understand that they're not smart like they wouldn't you know they wouldn't do anything that you would think would be extraordinary for an animal.

[1831] It's not like they have like superhuman powers, but they have an unusual ability to plan and coordinate.

[1832] Wow.

[1833] And they talk to each other.

[1834] They yell out and talk to each other and they give locations and they all kind of intuitively understand what the task is.

[1835] But when they're operating together, it's like, it's pretty stunning to watch, man. I've watched a bunch of videos.

[1836] I never, never in real life, obviously, but a bunch of videos of them coordinating like an attack on animals.

[1837] Yeah.

[1838] Dude, it's amazing.

[1839] We heard we were, At a, what's a campsite?

[1840] Malibu Kukse Park.

[1841] You heard coyotes or wolves?

[1842] Coyotes.

[1843] But I just liked the way they were like sort of talking to each other too.

[1844] But we saw a skunk.

[1845] First, we sort of smelled one and we heard two coyotes kind of like yelping.

[1846] And we're like that.

[1847] They got sprayed by a skunk.

[1848] Wow.

[1849] For sure.

[1850] We're just filling this in.

[1851] We have no idea.

[1852] But it really seemed like that.

[1853] Hearing them going, like just a couple of them.

[1854] And then later we saw a skunk.

[1855] tried to spray us didn't have much we think that's the same skunk that like sprayed out and now he's got nothing left in the tank does that work like that?

[1856] I don't know this is what we all think and then like a little bit later so skunk kind of like came at us but didn't like he tried to spray he got the dog my friend Mervis is you know Mervis front bartender yeah okay they got his dog but just like a little bit just bit it no just like with a little bit of like spray but like not much not enough for it was like terrible just bad And then we heard like 10 or 15 coyotes all howling.

[1857] Don't bite you too, right?

[1858] A skunk's a predator.

[1859] Yeah, he was coming out as bare teeth and stuff.

[1860] I had a skunk trying to get into my chicken coop.

[1861] Really?

[1862] Yeah, and then I read about them.

[1863] Like, that's one of the things they eat.

[1864] They'll eat chickens.

[1865] That makes sense.

[1866] Yeah.

[1867] Yeah, the sprays for self -defense, not offense.

[1868] Wow.

[1869] But they'll fuck you up.

[1870] Imagine getting fucked up by a skunk.

[1871] Like, he fucks you up and you smell like shit.

[1872] And you have to, like, heal your wounds and nobody wants to help you.

[1873] Yeah, I mean, imagine if, like, you got a fizz fight with a skunk, in your backyard and he zaps you and then bites the fuck out of you and he jumps over your fence and you run inside you're covered in blood and you're like oh my god the skunk bit the fuck out of my face get out of here yeah she's like I'm bleeding like shit get away they don't even she doesn't even care oh my god you have to wash yourself outside it's cold outside get out you smell like skunk oh my god I'm never going to clean this up oh my god this house can smell like tongue forever I'm so mad at you I'm just you're mad at me if I got fucked up by a skunk Imagine a skunk biting your dick Yeah It's a skunk Oh you're like this You love fucking creatures For my trip I saw Komodo dragons Oh in the flesh Yeah Out in the wild Yeah He went hunting them Like not to like kill But just like to find them Yeah To touch their tail To what Yeah I found out lady You're not supposed to do that But I didn't know man I was really close And I just touched one No you didn't Oh my god dude That's so scary He was sort of walking away And it was like It's so close And I was like just grabbed.

[1874] Yeah, they have these guys These weird pointed like V sticks Like long sticks with like a little tip at the end That like can like put It's weird But this one guy we had was like Way into snakes and reptiles and shit He's like let's go hunt Let's go find him We went out into the brush I wonder if a Komodo dragon Was the inspiration for that thing That the alien would do From the movie Ridley Scott movie alien It would open its mouth And all the slime and everything They have all this bacteria in their mouths Yeah I think it's like a bit, you're still going to lose your leg.

[1875] We've gone over this at least twice, and I always forget which it is, that they used to think that it was a toxin and now they think it's bacteria, or they used to think it was bacteria, and now they think it's a toxin.

[1876] Well, I read bacteria.

[1877] Yeah, it's like a botulism.

[1878] Yeah.

[1879] There's something...

[1880] A lot of different types of bacteria in their saliva.

[1881] And it's toxic.

[1882] Yeah.

[1883] And they know it.

[1884] And so they'll bite an animal and fuck it up, and then they'll follow it around.

[1885] So I was reading this thing about a water buffalo that this Komoto dragon intact.

[1886] They saw it bite it, and then it followed it for like two days.

[1887] Really?

[1888] Just waiting for it to croak.

[1889] Oh, so this guy I met in, somewhere, deep in, okay, so it's the island of Flores is where you can sort of like be.

[1890] And then...

[1891] That's where the Hobbit people were.

[1892] Flores?

[1893] Yeah.

[1894] In Indonesia?

[1895] Yeah.

[1896] Really?

[1897] Yeah.

[1898] What do you mean the Hobbit people?

[1899] There's little hobbit people that they discovered.

[1900] Oh, really?

[1901] Dude, they discovered that within the last shit, I want to say 14, 14 ,000 years ago?

[1902] Is that what it was?

[1903] It was in the last 14 ,000 years, somewhere in that range.

[1904] Humans shared time on Earth with another kind of human being.

[1905] It's a little tiny three foot tall human being that are completely different features than us.

[1906] Yeah, really controversial.

[1907] Homo Floriances or Floresis.

[1908] What's that?

[1909] 12 ,000 years ago.

[1910] 12 ,000 years ago, yeah.

[1911] Oh, that's nothing.

[1912] Okay, that's nothing.

[1913] 12 ,000 years ago.

[1914] Like, I'm, I mean, I'm trying to imagine.

[1915] Twice as long as.

[1916] Those people were just like us, 12 ,000 years ago, and they were a time.

[1917] tiny little thing, almost like a cross between a human and a chimp.

[1918] They don't really know exactly what their skin color was or what they look like.

[1919] Put it next to a drawing of a full -grown now man and he's shredded.

[1920] Yeah, he's jacked.

[1921] I'm going to fuck this little thing.

[1922] Perfect muscles.

[1923] Doesn't they ever eat fast food?

[1924] Throw some dick into this little critter.

[1925] There was even speculation that they had eaten humans or attacked humans.

[1926] Do you think they had bred with us and that's why they're shorter out in Asia?

[1927] How dare you?

[1928] No?

[1929] that's what it looks like see that one the drawing on the far left jamie with the guy holding the spear that's what they think you look at there's a full size version of that see if you could find that oh jesus so these were like almost like what we were like i guess when we were on our way up the food and they just developed differently so they sort of stayed yeah wow australia pythicus or something like that like one of our earliest ancestors yeah it's real close to australia yeah well australia pithicus is like modern human but like one of the first versions I think I want to say a million years ago but I'm probably just making that number up but you know human beings in this form they don't they don't know the exact number obviously but they think we've been around this form for only about a quarter million years give or take a few hundred dragons have venom they do have venom thank you okay so they used to think it was bacteria now they think it was venom I got to show you this picture I was I saw one we saw one on a rock and you go like right behind like some leaves and like some branches so you get up close to them and it's still sort of scary because you could probably get through the branches but probably not you know and you can just take a picture from like that close all the saliva's coming out dude i'll show you this at the store one night do you imagine the horror that you would feel if a kimono dragon was clamped down on your calf yeah you felt all that hot poison going into your body and you were trying to get away and you broke free with a big chunk taken out of your calf and it's about to leap on you and you're trying to run away with a limp you're hobbling away and screaming no and no and running through the bushes and you look back and you see it just taking its time walking towards you taking its time because it knows it doesn't have to chase you just tracks you because you can't go far you're all fucked up now so wait oh yeah there they are and you know eventually it's going to catch you sick and shivering and it's just going to start eating your asshole first They get these things.

[1930] Yeah, they just bite them in the legs and shit.

[1931] But they got to be careful they don't get stomped.

[1932] He smells with his tongue.

[1933] Jesus Christ.

[1934] They use the tongue to smell.

[1935] What a creepy fucking creature.

[1936] A giant.

[1937] Yeah, so these buffalo, they're not natural to the area.

[1938] They've been added in.

[1939] So they don't know what the fuck this.

[1940] Oh, they've been added in to feed them.

[1941] Yeah.

[1942] Oh, my God.

[1943] They're growing shit, but they die.

[1944] So they go to the watering hole, and the Komoto Dragons know that they're going to go to the watering hole, and they just fucking wait for him.

[1945] And so he jacked him and, the leg and then he's slowly making his way towards him imagine if that was you and you had to see that thing walking up the bank towards you some guy got killed you'd like you'd be like no i'm a person you're not supposed to eat me i can think and i can reason and i'm progressive and i have health insurance i have two credit cards they've killed a kid i have to call someone don't eat me yet i have to make a call hold on let me get this text don't eat me yet i have to check my facebook don't Don't fucking eat me. I'm checking Twitter.

[1946] Look, there's a bunch of them around that one.

[1947] Just going asshole first.

[1948] And you're feeling all the blood rush out of your body while there's creepy lizards chewing on your butt.

[1949] They eat everything except those, those boar's heads because of the horns.

[1950] Really?

[1951] If they get, that's not a boar.

[1952] I mean, an ox.

[1953] If they get a boar, they finish the skulls too.

[1954] Jesus Christ.

[1955] They eat the skulls?

[1956] Everything.

[1957] So just those fucking, what they're called heads are the only ones left because of the horns.

[1958] What the fuck them up on the inside?

[1959] So they eat the bones?

[1960] Yeah, they killed the kid.

[1961] They ate his stomach out.

[1962] He went to peeve alone.

[1963] And they're like, oh, this one's by himself.

[1964] So this guy met in Flores and Deep Flores.

[1965] His guy found a boar that had been bitten and was dying in the bushes.

[1966] And so he was like, hey, you guys want to see some shit?

[1967] This boar's kind of like, like this, the venom would start to catch up.

[1968] And he took him, he dragged him to the watering hole.

[1969] He threw it in there.

[1970] And they just ripped the shreds in front of them.

[1971] He showed me this video he made.

[1972] It was so fucking cool.

[1973] Look at the size of the bone that guy.

[1974] eating yeah they're all on something oh my god look at that there's something about them they're the cold unfeeling look in their eyes like when he opens his mouth and you see all those teeth saliva but that eye yeah that's a real creature all black that's a thinking creature that's trying to eat you it's trying to eat either you or a buffalo it eats a water buffalo man yeah it doesn't use knives it's not using and there's no fork there's no bullets it's eating a goddamn water buffalo so we're going through waist high grass trying to find these things and then you see one to pop its head up like there it's there it's there it's there and you got to get behind it and try to like force it down the mountain but there's other ones around so you got stay close keep your eyes up it's pretty cool man you would love that you're into monsters like that you would love that I'd be terrified I'd be terrified I don't want to be around them man why are you around them oh it was so cool Well, I found out when I was in Bali, and I was like, I'll probably go to somewhere else from there.

[1975] And this guy met from Jakarta was like, you know, you're right next to the Komoto Dragons.

[1976] You can do that?

[1977] And it's like, what?

[1978] That's here?

[1979] And it was just a couple of boats, and you're fucking there.

[1980] Wow.

[1981] Dude, fuck that.

[1982] No, man. What if they got you?

[1983] Love it.

[1984] They almost got Sharon.

[1985] What's her husband?

[1986] Sharon Stone?

[1987] Sharon Stone's husband?

[1988] Really?

[1989] Yeah.

[1990] What do you mean they almost got him?

[1991] He was a newspaper man. He was like a reporter.

[1992] And?

[1993] Or a journalist, rather.

[1994] And he went to do something in a cage with Komodo dragons, and he had socks on.

[1995] And the fucking thing thought it's white foot.

[1996] It was a zoo.

[1997] Oh, really?

[1998] And he went and got him?

[1999] What do you mean?

[2000] Bit his foot, bit the fuck out of his foot.

[2001] Dude went to the hospital.

[2002] Crushing his victual, thrashing its body around.

[2003] Yeah.

[2004] What?

[2005] He had to undergo foot surgery.

[2006] Oh.

[2007] Come on, son.

[2008] Yeah.

[2009] Oh, is a shoeless foot.

[2010] Oh, I thought it was a sock.

[2011] Crushing his big toe.

[2012] Ouchy wah -wah.

[2013] Oh, the zookeeper asked him to remove his white tennis shoes to keep the five -foot -long reptile from mistaking them for white rats.

[2014] So, hey, yo, dude, take your shoes off.

[2015] You'll be cool.

[2016] Don't worry about it.

[2017] As long as it knows.

[2018] And then he attacked that foot.

[2019] It's like, why'd you tell me to take the shoe off?

[2020] You imagine.

[2021] I don't really see what I had a shoe on.

[2022] The feeling he must have had as that thing is biting his foot.

[2023] And that zookeeper must be like, I'm really sorry about that.

[2024] He had severed tenders.

[2025] They had to reattached severed tendons.

[2026] rebuild his big toe that was crushed by the dragon's jaws.

[2027] Jesus.

[2028] You have to piss again?

[2029] Yeah, man. Do you have enough room in that?

[2030] Do you want to empty that?

[2031] I have to empty that.

[2032] Come on, man. You sure?

[2033] Yeah, but there's only a little bit left because I had to pitch it back in.

[2034] Don't overspill.

[2035] Don't overflow.

[2036] I want to overflow.

[2037] Professional with this, man. But here's the thing about animals like Camono dragons and wolves.

[2038] I love the fact that they're real.

[2039] Yeah.

[2040] It's one of the things that makes life fascinating is that there are these ruthless, merciless predators Jamie's shielding his eyes from Rari's dick I'm censoring I'm showing him Oh the image Want to just put the image On me for a second This is educational You don't want to show his Jamie could you get away With doing this On YouTube or Instagram We might be in trouble Just because we mentioned That you're peeing What's that level of censorship On the internet?

[2041] No way Here's the deal dude Do you know that if you Whipped your dick out And took a leak in front of a school You'd be charged as a sex molester Dude I do that all the time And thank you for telling me because I will stop.

[2042] Yeah, for real.

[2043] Like, say if you're walking past the school and you're like, God, I'm going to take a leak.

[2044] And you just innocently walk towards a patch of trees and you pissed there.

[2045] And someone from the school calls the police.

[2046] Because you had your dick out.

[2047] You have your dick out in front of the school.

[2048] You can't go like, oh, come on, guys.

[2049] You know what I was doing.

[2050] I know a dude who got charged with that.

[2051] I know somebody who, well, we both know somebody who was hooking up with a girl on school property late at night.

[2052] They needed a place to pull over so they could fuck in the car.

[2053] Oh.

[2054] But since it was on school property.

[2055] But it was fucking 2 a .m. You know?

[2056] Yeah, they're trying to discourage that.

[2057] Well, yeah, I get that.

[2058] They don't want a condom's thrown out the window at a fucking...

[2059] Just showing up for school in the morning.

[2060] Dropping your kid off.

[2061] Your kid slips and breaks her hip because she stepped on a condom.

[2062] Ugh.

[2063] Those little shiny school shoes that kids wear with the hard bottoms.

[2064] Don't get good traction.

[2065] Whip!

[2066] So, there's, like, rules about doing stuff within a thousand feet of schools.

[2067] Yeah, stuff like that.

[2068] There's so many schools in Hollywood.

[2069] There's got to be so much shit happening within a thousand feet of, them wasn't that one of the issues too with pot shops like uh medical marijuana so they yeah fucked with them too yeah you can't be anywhere near at this or a church the church part's hilarious it's like if that's really the case is there is that wonder if that really is still the case but i get it though if you really believed and you really believed that your church was sacred and important to you you wouldn't want like one door down yeah maybe not one door down but it's not all churches are not the ones in like the lawns like you see in the movies a lot of them in LA are just like in between two apartment buildings but also the question is who gets to choose who gets to choose that like what how much distance yeah between a church and a liquor store well let's I want to know is selling liquor okay is it okay it seems like it's okay seems like a lot of people are doing it seems like a lot of people are buying it seems like we all agree okay so if it is the case where why radius radius of a church not even like that up good other blocks in Detroit what is it say shops are also prohibited from operating within a thousand foot radius of a church school park liquor stores or other dispensary or or a drug free zone such as a library hmm they also most close by APM other dispensary liquor to store other dispensary okay this is all this is all just this is a result of people going well I don't want them right next to this while I'm doing that but this is saying that they can't be close to a liquor store like a liquor store is the same as a church that's what we're saying weird you're saying it's saying a A pot shop can't be the alternative to a business that's already established.

[2070] Oh, like a liquor store.

[2071] That's what they're saying.

[2072] Don't quit booze.

[2073] Yeah.

[2074] Well, they're saying you can't be.

[2075] So the liquor stores must have lobbied to have that put in there.

[2076] They must have figured out a way.

[2077] Is there a liquor store union?

[2078] It was to stay at liquor board, so yeah.

[2079] I mean.

[2080] Yeah, I mean, there's obviously, that doesn't make sense.

[2081] Like, the church makes sense reluctantly.

[2082] I get it, though.

[2083] It makes sense.

[2084] The school doesn't make sense at all.

[2085] The school makes sense.

[2086] The liquor store doesn't make any sense.

[2087] Like, why can't I just walk right next door after I buy some weed and buy a beer?

[2088] Why do I have to go 500 feet further?

[2089] They don't have them here, but in Ohio, they still drive through alcohol places.

[2090] They just drive your car.

[2091] They have in Phoenix.

[2092] Yeah.

[2093] Yeah.

[2094] Yeah, this place is where you can drive through and they'll give you mixed drinks.

[2095] Mix drinks?

[2096] That's like how you're going to justify it.

[2097] I'm not having this later.

[2098] Drive -through bar.

[2099] Wow.

[2100] It's my passengers.

[2101] drink.

[2102] Wow.

[2103] I wouldn't drink and drive officer.

[2104] And Louisiana, I don't think I looked that up.

[2105] Your passengers can drive can drink while you drive?

[2106] Only the driver can or something like that.

[2107] Louisiana's on another level.

[2108] New Orleans is on a totally different level.

[2109] Yeah.

[2110] Were you with me in New Orleans when we had this driver?

[2111] For sure not.

[2112] We didn't know.

[2113] We had this driver who's hilarious, a funny fucking dude.

[2114] I wish I could remember his name, but he was cool as shit.

[2115] We had him for a couple of days and when we're hanging out with this dude, he was telling me that he got pulled over outside of New Orleans because he was walking on the street with an open beer.

[2116] I forget where he was, some other city.

[2117] And they pulled him over, and he had two beers in a paper bag.

[2118] And when they pulled him over, he was talking to the cops.

[2119] The cops was like, where are you from?

[2120] And he's talking to the cop.

[2121] He pulls out the other beer and cracks it open and starts drinking it.

[2122] And the cop's like, is there something fucking wrong with your head?

[2123] And he's like, what?

[2124] He goes, where are you from?

[2125] He goes, New Orleans.

[2126] He goes, oh, okay.

[2127] Oh, you don't know.

[2128] That's not a lot of other places.

[2129] You can't do that anywhere else.

[2130] And he's like, for real?

[2131] He's like, why, I'm not doing anything wrong.

[2132] I'm just walking.

[2133] I forget where he was, but he was outside of New Orleans, for sure.

[2134] Yeah.

[2135] But he was saying that he had no idea that you couldn't crack open a beer and start drinking in front of a cop when he's asking questions.

[2136] He's like, in my mind, I had done nothing.

[2137] That's the best about Southeast Asia.

[2138] You get a beer, you walk with it like a fucking free American.

[2139] You're just like out there.

[2140] You're not going to do anything.

[2141] Have a good time, man. There's too many dumb young dudes that would bring drinks and splash them on people and be walking on the street with open beer.

[2142] and be goofy.

[2143] I guess so.

[2144] Maybe just here.

[2145] Maybe here.

[2146] But London's got a little bit of that.

[2147] They drink outside.

[2148] No, maybe not in the streets.

[2149] They drink like an outdoor pubs.

[2150] I've seen it in England with people boozed up on the streets, beating the shit out of each other.

[2151] Well, yeah, I mean, that's going to happen.

[2152] But it's like, don't put yourself in a position where you have to fight all the time.

[2153] I wonder what the argument is for...

[2154] It's not about drinking outdoors or not.

[2155] It's about like, don't drink so much.

[2156] Right.

[2157] Yeah, don't get so drunk that you can control yourself.

[2158] Yeah, but you can do that in one space or you can walk and do it.

[2159] That doesn't matter.

[2160] I wonder what the argument.

[2161] argument is for a 2 a .m., like cutoff time?

[2162] Yeah, it's over.

[2163] It's all Christian shit, dude.

[2164] Is it?

[2165] It's all remnants of Christian shit.

[2166] Who cares?

[2167] Why can't we just be up longer?

[2168] Miami, it's like 5 a .m. New York, it's four or later?

[2169] A lot of places is not a thing.

[2170] I heard they're going to change to L .A. to four.

[2171] Four?

[2172] Yeah.

[2173] I heard they're not going to change that.

[2174] The comedy store super weird.

[2175] They'll stuff close it too.

[2176] You don't have to be up until then.

[2177] Why?

[2178] Yeah, good point.

[2179] There's guys who want to go up.

[2180] Good point.

[2181] We could have some weird ass shows, man. I might do a 2 a .m. set if they ever do that i might i might book myself for a two a m set dude the comedy seller i go up a lot after two a m to packed rooms yeah packed i mean like what time of those shows they start late they're supposed to like 1130 and i'm gonna put like 145 too wow and it's just like and it's a great crowd yeah yeah if those are the kind of people that are up yeah sure come on yeah there's a lot of people that are on different schedules mm -hmm you just a place like new york you can find 150 of them.

[2182] You can go out at 11 .30 p .m. I can start my night.

[2183] Oh, yeah.

[2184] And you still have a great long time.

[2185] Oh, yeah.

[2186] And people in New York, like, they fucking go hard.

[2187] They go so hard.

[2188] There's so much drinking in New York.

[2189] You meet people after show.

[2190] It's not like giving me a number.

[2191] It's like, let's go somewhere right now.

[2192] Yeah.

[2193] Let's just go to a bar.

[2194] There's 30 within walking distance.

[2195] Yeah.

[2196] Let's keep, let's just talk.

[2197] And they just drink.

[2198] You know, Duncan had Greg Fitzsimmons on his podcast this week.

[2199] Yeah.

[2200] And I've only listened to the first, like, like 10 minutes or so, but Duncan was talking about how different New York is in terms of like diversity and all the different cultures and people.

[2201] Yeah.

[2202] Yeah, he's liking it.

[2203] I've seen it a couple times.

[2204] It's been pretty fun, man. Just have to be able to like booze up and like not have to worry about getting home.

[2205] Yeah.

[2206] He loves it.

[2207] I walk home from the stand.

[2208] He takes a cab, you know, that's the normal.

[2209] Yeah.

[2210] He's a, is he living in Brooklyn?

[2211] He's living in Brooklyn.

[2212] Of course he is that fucking hippie.

[2213] No, that's right for him for sure.

[2214] That's the spot.

[2215] Yeah.

[2216] Yeah.

[2217] I mean, he was a Silver Lake kid And then he went to a, he's doing the same thing.

[2218] He said, I'm like Williamsburg, right?

[2219] I think Park Slope.

[2220] Same shit, isn't it?

[2221] No, Williamsburg's passed, like it's over gentrified.

[2222] Oh, it's gone too far.

[2223] So not only rich kids with style can afford it.

[2224] Ooh, I like it.

[2225] I might move in.

[2226] Yeah.

[2227] It's my style.

[2228] Yeah.

[2229] I saw, I was watching one of those house flipper shows.

[2230] I was, you know, what is the, some of the real estate, million dollar listing.

[2231] That's what it's called.

[2232] Million dollar listing in New York.

[2233] It's a new one's birthday effects.

[2234] And, um, they had a, house that was for sale in Brooklyn that was like a they built like a Georgia mansion yeah in Brooklyn in Brooklyn and they you know they were trying to like put mansions like southern style mansions in Brooklyn it's like 11 ,000 square foot house I can't afford Williamsburg really yeah I thought I had to go there because I wouldn't be able to afford Manhattan and then I found it when I got there I'm like oh no no Manhattan's cheaper now the cool parts of Manhattan where I live it's cheaper Jesus than the cool parts of Brooklyn why is that it got it's this gentrification has this path at first you have bad neighborhoods we're not talking about warehouse gentrifying that's different but like you know ethnic gentrifying first you have actually both so first you have criminals or warehouses and then the people who can have like are cool artists who have no money they'll move in they can get a giant loft for basically nothing because you got to worry about getting stabbed or having nothing around you they start adding the art to the to the area making it more interesting then people like duncan and me come and in where we're like we like it i'm not going to be the front lines of this shit you know i need some place to go like you know get some food but there's still criminals around or like lack of stuff and then the rich people who don't have style of their own they move in and co -op the other people style and then you start getting too many like coffee shops and then they start changing the laws to drive out the people who live there like in there's a park where they all camped out and gawanas and every sunday they would cook out there and they started saying the rich people was like uh the smoke is going to my windows so you They started making laws about how you can't have cookouts.

[2235] Yeah, and that pretty much just drove out the people who wanted to have that as part of their life.

[2236] They were just like helped.

[2237] You don't make the laws saying it's illegal to be ethnic, but you make laws around it.

[2238] Dude, there's a park down the street from here that we could go to.

[2239] It's like only a couple minutes away.

[2240] Yeah.

[2241] And if you go there on the weekends, it's like a festival.

[2242] It's like people use those barbecue grates that they have out there.

[2243] They get down.

[2244] They set up picnic tables.

[2245] they lay out a cloth on the picnic tables and paper cups and shit and they got coolers they're pouring like coolade and shit and they're cooking all kinds of different things on these racks and there's like maybe five six families spread out in these areas that are doing that and then his kids are playing and everybody's running around it's a lot of people that live in apartments that don't have a lot like they don't have they don't have a big backyard so now they just go to the park it's great it's great and there's like this sense of community everybody's laughing they got music playing people are drinking yeah are you allowed to drink booze in the park how's that work i don't know i know tailgating you gotta use cans you can't use bottles but if you're sitting there on a pick i think you can you can you i think maybe it's looked the other way kind of stuff if anything that would suck i mean you gotta be able to have a yeah beer some beers you're having a cheeseburger in the park that's i mean some of these freedom laws are like i'm not going to do anything man let me have a beer with my family what this doesn't hurt anybody well if everyone did that You're going to have drunks.

[2246] I'm like, yeah, but that's not me. I'm not that.

[2247] So let me do it.

[2248] What kind of diseases can you get from one of them park grills?

[2249] Who's cleaning that grill?

[2250] Dude, one of the best barbecues I ever had was on top of it, in Vail, on top of the mountain.

[2251] So we were skiing.

[2252] I was skiing with his chef, and he had a bunch of fucking chicken in his back marinating in one of those bags, what are those bags?

[2253] While he was skiing?

[2254] Yeah, so he kept shaking it up.

[2255] He's snowboarding, hitting jumps.

[2256] He's just marinating his chicken.

[2257] And then he's like, hey, you want to eat with us?

[2258] I'm like, yeah, sure.

[2259] He's like, oh, no, I was like going into the restaurant party.

[2260] He goes, no, no, out here.

[2261] Just use that thing.

[2262] And it's just make grilled fucking chicken up on the top of fucking the Rockies.

[2263] It was so good.

[2264] So did he have like a little grill in his pack too?

[2265] No, they had the public grill up there.

[2266] Oh, that thing.

[2267] Yeah.

[2268] So he just got some wood and stuck out of there?

[2269] There's just colds going, I guess.

[2270] Oh, wow.

[2271] People like to do that up there.

[2272] Those things are so nasty.

[2273] So nasty.

[2274] Who's not bird shitting on them?

[2275] Nobody's ever cleaning them.

[2276] Nobody's ever cleaned any of those.

[2277] But like I guess the idea is once the fire gets going Nothing's gonna stay alive on it I guess Yeah When that motherfucker gets red hot To a point where you could see your steak Nothing's surviving on that I mean that's isn't that the whole principle behind cast iron pans Like you don't really wash a cast iron pan No you don't You just sort of scratch out everything that's there Throw some water on it But like that dark blackness That you get from a cast iron pan Yeah I don't know why But when I cook on one of those I feel like a fucking man Iron grill, man. It's the best.

[2278] I feel like a man. A cast iron frying pan.

[2279] I feel like a man. If you give me a choice, there's a cast iron pan, and some bitch -ass fucking tungsten.

[2280] One of those ones that you could flip a cheeseburger without putting any.

[2281] Straight cheese on it.

[2282] Non -stick.

[2283] Those are so gross.

[2284] In Myanmar, they use those non -stick pans, and now a lot of that got into your food.

[2285] Because they've been cooking that shit for like 10 years.

[2286] Just stretching it.

[2287] Just street cooking.

[2288] Just fucking, here you go.

[2289] And you're like, shut off to it.

[2290] let's go just eat it yeah it's gonna come out metal flakes my dog ate uh a packet of glitter really and he shit glitter yeah shit glitter it's like in roped up in his shit i was gonna take a picture of it put it on instagram but i was thinking it's probably like they could probably take that down get mad at you it's for shit i guess i bet they could i bet they's rules you can't show tits on instagram why on twitter it seems like you could show people fucking or do they this guy Stavros is a comedian he's a fat guy fat cute great guy he's on my podcast this week but like uh he used to have yeah I thought it was but but this he used to take these naked pictures he just liked this big fat naked body right he's somebody to see butt never dick and he would just be naked with like one foot in front of the other they were hilarious pictures and Instagram was like nah wow he's like come on how rude yeah people wrote blogs about him saying he's like body body positive hmm Instagram deleted his comedians accounting accountant, bring back stabby baby.

[2291] Stavvy Stavvy baby?

[2292] Stavvy S -A -V -V -Y.

[2293] Yeah, look how funny those are.

[2294] The fucking Marrier Brothers one?

[2295] Yeah, they're funny.

[2296] You just see a butt cheek.

[2297] You don't see like his asshole or anything like that.

[2298] There's nothing wrong with what he's doing.

[2299] Come on Instagram.

[2300] A sad picture with fucking ice cream over his over his dick where he dropped one.

[2301] Yeah, he's funny.

[2302] Funny pictures.

[2303] Why would that be offensive?

[2304] Like, we had that scared of nakedness?

[2305] I had one where I had to pay off a bag of bets on Punch drunk.

[2306] A bag of bets.

[2307] Yeah, we just did these, we put bets in a hat, and so that when you have like a, oh, I think so -and -so is definitely going to win, you know?

[2308] I think all those definitely going to win.

[2309] I think the other guy's definitely going to win, and you're like, well, let's pick out of the hat.

[2310] So you have to do whatever the bet says.

[2311] What you have to do?

[2312] Wear a diaper for 24 hours.

[2313] No shitting anywhere else or pissing anywhere else except in the diaper.

[2314] You shit a diaper?

[2315] One change, one change of diaper.

[2316] Yeah, so I had, I had to piss in one, and I did it in the shower, and I took a video of it.

[2317] And YouTube was like, nope, not allowed.

[2318] Wow.

[2319] Well, they were naked.

[2320] Wearing a diaper.

[2321] Fully wearing.

[2322] Hmm.

[2323] I think YouTube is like super worried.

[2324] They're super worried about being able to put ads on things, you know, and being able to keep things.

[2325] It's lame, though.

[2326] It should be free.

[2327] I agree.

[2328] But who's got to pay for that infrastructure, son?

[2329] Yeah.

[2330] You know what I'm saying?

[2331] I guess so.

[2332] Can't be showing people fuck.

[2333] That would be what YouTube would become.

[2334] No, okay, not fuck.

[2335] Okay, you can't be free.

[2336] You're absolutely right.

[2337] I changed my opinion.

[2338] Absolutely, you should be able to show fucking.

[2339] Should be free.

[2340] Show some sucking dick.

[2341] Yeah, parents, you want to put some blockers on there?

[2342] Go ahead.

[2343] Do you know the story of that guy, Vincent Gallo?

[2344] The actor?

[2345] No. Made a movie called Brown Bunny.

[2346] Oh, yeah, he got full head.

[2347] Sucked.

[2348] She sucked it.

[2349] In Chloe, if I get it, Gigi, have you seen her name?

[2350] Yeah.

[2351] And she just blew him on camera.

[2352] So she's second wave gentrification.

[2353] When she comes into your town, you know it's about to be, you're still in a cool and hip, but the Wall Street people are going to come in soon.

[2354] She's second wave?

[2355] Yeah.

[2356] What's first wave?

[2357] Artists, poor artists who, that's, they afford to put up with a crime.

[2358] Right.

[2359] And then they bring a coolness factor to the area.

[2360] Ah, cool, you know, they use the whoever's living there, the indigenous, you know, cultures.

[2361] Yeah, like what they're doing in downtown L .A., right?

[2362] Exactly.

[2363] Yeah, exactly.

[2364] What is that shirt?

[2365] What does it say?

[2366] Oh, cold blue rebels.

[2367] Cold blue rebels.

[2368] You know Danny Lucas, the sound guy in the main room?

[2369] Yes, yes.

[2370] It's his band.

[2371] Oh, no shit.

[2372] Yeah.

[2373] I love Danny.

[2374] It's a zombie, zombie rockabilly.

[2375] Zombie billy, I guess.

[2376] Zombie rockabilly.

[2377] Yeah.

[2378] It's a pretty cool band, but I think they're breaking up.

[2379] So what's next, Ari Javier?

[2380] Well, so I got this Netflix double special.

[2381] No, I'm good.

[2382] July 18th.

[2383] I've been building my new hour.

[2384] Oh, shit.

[2385] I'm going to get back in the road and see more places.

[2386] I want to see more things.

[2387] Yeah, everybody, it's going to be a great double special.

[2388] It should be really cool.

[2389] Now, when you're writing your new shit, like when you're doing it now.

[2390] Yeah.

[2391] Are you incorporating experiences that you had when you were on this walkabout?

[2392] I love the term walkabout.

[2393] I love the term walkabout as well.

[2394] Are you physically writing them, or are you, like, having these stories that you're trying to work out on stage?

[2395] I do some of that, but, but, but.

[2396] My new hour is not going to be that, so those will be, like, side bits.

[2397] Mostly, I'm kind of hearing what Rollins said to about how he does it, and it's like, oh, some time to process it, you know, use it as, like, references and things instead of, like, bits about that, you know?

[2398] Right.

[2399] You know, we have, like, just a tagline about something and not the whole bit about something.

[2400] Right, right.

[2401] So just in terms of, like, yeah, I incorporate it when it comes up, when I start thinking about it.

[2402] Bill Burr said it once Where it's like With Sigurra asked him a long time ago Like how do you write a new hour Like what do you write about?

[2403] He goes I don't know What's on your mind?

[2404] It gets you angry It gets you like Riled up When you talk about it to your friends Yeah Whatever that is Right about that Burr's kind of an interesting thing Going on too Because he does that podcast Where he rants Yeah So he just It's just him ranting So his like ranting muscle And his ranting endurance It's incredible I try to do that in my intros In my podcast It's great Your intros are great Thank you.

[2405] I appreciate it.

[2406] Really good, man. I really love the one about Tom Sager and the bat and his expensive taste now.

[2407] It was very, very funny.

[2408] And that was your first one back, too.

[2409] Yeah, like, I left going, like, they're tracing me out of here.

[2410] No, your narrations and those things, those are some of my favorite parts of your podcast.

[2411] You're breaking down things and getting excited about things, your enthusiasm for these things.

[2412] Yeah, I tried early on to realize, like, oh, this is where ads go, so I don't want to make it just adie.

[2413] Right.

[2414] but like let's make an actual more content and then if you have to throw an ad in there too fine but like here's gonna be some good times as well yeah and sometimes i don't even have ads i still do fucking 25 minutes yeah why not yeah why not if it's funny if it's not i'll be re -recorded it they are funny and it's also it's a different thing because you're getting a chance to see you sort of unedited just ranting just just thinking about stuff and talking yeah yeah somebody told me one i had one after Anderson lost for the first time.

[2415] And it was just part of a podcast about this girl who cuts herself.

[2416] Just talked about that.

[2417] But like in the beginning it was almost an hour on what Anderson Silver meant to me as a UFC fan.

[2418] Wow.

[2419] And how what he lost, it was just this weird way to lose and I kind of forgot about it now, but it was like Yeah.

[2420] Yeah, I don't know.

[2421] It's fun.

[2422] But that went on for like so long.

[2423] Yeah, well, that's something that was a real thing to you.

[2424] It meant something to you.

[2425] That's why it's interesting.

[2426] He was at my first UFC.

[2427] He fought Chris Leibon, my very first UFC.

[2428] I saw him become a champion.

[2429] He was like my guy.

[2430] I was at the fucking five and a half, four and a half round crazy ending.

[2431] Yeah.

[2432] To, uh, to, uh, to chale.

[2433] I remember being in a ring with you and Dana and, uh, and, um, fucking Superman.

[2434] What's his name?

[2435] The one championships at heavyweight and light heavyweight, Randy Gator.

[2436] Superman.

[2437] Whatever his name was.

[2438] What they call?

[2439] What they call?

[2440] The natural.

[2441] Whatever.

[2442] Superman.

[2443] I was like, what the fuck is he talking about?

[2444] He looked at me in a lot.

[2445] way like i definitely got the wrong name but whatever it is i was trying to figure out of nickname like who had the nickname superman yeah but we're all just a ring and it was like we're all talking about whatever stuff and then one at a time one of us you could see them like thinking about how that fight ended four rounds plus of dominance by one guy and a last minute fucking triangle out of nowhere to keep this one of the best champions of all time still in power yep it was just so fucking nuts and you see one at a time randy or somebody i remember randy doing after someone else did they would just kind of go off like you see him thinking about something and they were just like shake their head and go oh man and you're like oh you're thinking about that fucking fight it was right in the hallway right afterwards yeah god it was crazy yeah there's a unique feeling that you get when you're recounting like a crazy event where someone knocks somebody out or choke somebody out like jesus you got a look at the ufcs have we'd gone to dinner and be like fuck yeah Jesus Christ And I saw Berg at that same look After the comedy store In the front After the baby bird At O &A I saw him from far away talking I was like hey Are you talking about the baby bird He goes yeah I was like I can tell I can tell the way you're doing it Yeah Yeah So that's all I'm working on Just building my new hour And then I can get the fuck out Of this garbage dump again This garbage dump Los Angeles Is that what you're saying How dare you?

[2446] How dare you?

[2447] Yeah.

[2448] This is the place where you've buttered your bread, sir.

[2449] No, I like it.

[2450] The business end of it makes me a little mad sometimes.

[2451] The business end.

[2452] Yeah.

[2453] I think to be your friend and advisor, I would say it's time to remove yourself from the other side.

[2454] You no longer need to negotiate.

[2455] So it's fun to travel and stuff is what I mean.

[2456] I think you're right.

[2457] Oh, 100%.

[2458] Listen, man, you'll all get along way better when you don't need them.

[2459] Yeah.

[2460] Everybody will be your friend.

[2461] Yeah.

[2462] Yeah.

[2463] But anyway, yeah, that's all I'm doing.

[2464] Working a new hour.

[2465] You're going to do it all about Judaism.

[2466] All about Judaism?

[2467] I think so.

[2468] Well, that's a good way to alienate the white supremacist, bro.

[2469] Yeah.

[2470] You're going to an asshole.

[2471] You don't even care about the people who hate the Jews.

[2472] Yeah, sorry, sorry, guys.

[2473] I've been culturally insensitive.

[2474] You're not even thinking about them.

[2475] I don't know.

[2476] What are you working on?

[2477] We never found that video of the Evergreen Professor throwing his hands around.

[2478] Oh, yeah.

[2479] There's one video I'm pretty sure it's in, but I need to, like, double check and listen to make sure it's the part they're talking about because it was getting highlighted as it.

[2480] Someone sent it to me, and they sent it queued up, like, right where it is, and it's so hilarious.

[2481] There's probably, you know what, it's queued up in a website.

[2482] If you Google Evergreen, what is he, the president?

[2483] Evergreen, oh, in Evergreen, hand motions are a microagression.

[2484] Google that.

[2485] And motions are a microgression.

[2486] And they have it.

[2487] There's a website for sure that has an article where they show the video and they have it queued up.

[2488] And when it's queued up, you can see the kids laughing when they get the teacher to put his hands behind his back.

[2489] That's them just not knowing.

[2490] Well, I'll see it.

[2491] But that's them not understanding what they really are looking for.

[2492] They're just looking for power.

[2493] Because part of them feels like, ha ha, I've made you do it.

[2494] And another part says, that's a microgression, don't do that.

[2495] But it's like, if you believe that, then don't laugh at someone for not doing it anymore.

[2496] What they're doing is just enjoying power.

[2497] These kids have taken over the school.

[2498] Right.

[2499] that's it give me some give me some volume the dude walked up to the president put your hands down put your hands down he's apologized the dude walks up to the president's like put your hands down put your hands down put your hands down dude and they're laughing at him were not your ancestors came here of free choice and decided to bring along my people of their not of their own free will to work and build this country uh my dad was came up to this early army just letting you know that slave has repercussions in society today and that is what we're about she's she's waiting for an applause yeah she seems to not know oh there she goes trying to get off and what does he do about that he's clapping as well he's clapping too He needs to seriously stop.

[2500] He's clapping, too.

[2501] Like, you had a really good point.

[2502] You can't.

[2503] She's saying something we know.

[2504] We already know that.

[2505] Okay, that version of that, that super liberal left, is feminists.

[2506] You know?

[2507] That version of that?

[2508] There's a version of that, which is just the feminist.

[2509] Uh -huh.

[2510] Like, that version of feminist.

[2511] That version.

[2512] Yeah, there's versions of everything.

[2513] The bloggers and the...

[2514] There's versions of masculinists, too, right?

[2515] right there's the alt right i guess is it though i don't know i don't really understand i don't know seems to me like the alt -right for more more than a lot of what they're doing is having fun yeah it does seem like a troll like some of it's like just straight trolling just a lot of it is you said this i can't believe it it's like can't you believe it well maybe it was a job i mean like milo milo yinopoulos surely that guy gets him so mad yeah Milo is so Like it's so theatrical So much of what he's doing It seems like he's having it Dude I love it when they get on somebody And you just like shit on them a little bit They get like someone's a god to them all of a sudden Beyonce after lemonade Things like that If you shit on them a little bit You can get people so fucking angry at you It's great It's great It's never been a time like this Irish fair We can get so many morons mad at you I love it I love it But yeah But what I've noticed is that of the super liberal okay you know how like American sports fans are kind of dumb how dare you you know not all the more so than other places we're not very thought out rude bro our political like analysis isn't that smart in the same way our liberal left our feminism is some of the dumbest feminism in the world like other ones are more thought out and more interesting and more like just thoughtful in general dude I think you left America yeah became a fucking turncoat that's what I'm hearing I'm hearing a bunch of bullshit.

[2516] So what do you think, though?

[2517] You should hear people talking.

[2518] They're way smarter than the people we have.

[2519] So our people are just dumber?

[2520] Saying this microaggression shit.

[2521] Right.

[2522] What is that?

[2523] That's us having too much fucking free time.

[2524] That is you've left behind what's actually wrong and you're jumping on, which is a lot.

[2525] There's a lot wrong.

[2526] Yeah.

[2527] So like worry about that and calm down.

[2528] Microaggression.

[2529] You guys, it's not like there's better shit to do so you shouldn't worry about what actually bothers you this shouldn't bother you right you know take that same venom and put it into something that's actually happening there's this forced okay well like that girl that stood up there the girl that stood up there and it's like your ancestors were not slaves you weren't brought here mine were you know and slavery has repercussions and then everybody starts clapping and it's like you're you're right but what is the point what's your what are we doing like yeah it's obviously ancestors like when do we get over this ancestor thing Like how many generations in do we just treat people as individuals?

[2530] I've asked people at some point, what do they want?

[2531] Some people got an advantage, for sure.

[2532] White people, got an advantage, for sure.

[2533] Okay, but it's not, it's more so, but it's not 100 % of the time.

[2534] So if I came from a divorced household, I didn't, you know, and my dad wasn't around, and my dad beat my mom, you know, that can be a way worse and harder experience than the Cosby kids.

[2535] Right, you know.

[2536] Right.

[2537] Today.

[2538] So it's like just because you're this, it might make the odds harder for you, but it's not 100%.

[2539] But there's an origins thing.

[2540] And one of the origins that every black kid has to face when they think about it is that someone down the line was a slave.

[2541] And they're not slaves anymore, but that's why people who look like him are here.

[2542] They're all here because someone brought them over here in chains.

[2543] Yeah, and there's still a tree with remnants of that.

[2544] Right.

[2545] And there's got to be a weird self -esteem or a self -identity issue.

[2546] attached to knowing that everybody knows that your ancestors were slaves and there's a certain like there's a certain thing that people do when someone has something and someone else wants it you if you have a group of people that's different it's like really easy to almost think of them as not you like that's how they've justified wars that's how so many people like by dehumanizing the other you know and this this this thing that has to balance out that I guess is I guess just the echoes of that is like we have to get so many generations away from the from people being slaves and any repercussions of it socially I cannot we have to get so far away that it doesn't factor in anymore where we don't care okay that's well expressed for sure yeah I like that that kind of like calm way to explain something rarely gets put out anymore course it's screaming and he's yelling you know why like you're not teaching anyone anything the biggest problem on the left and the right but the ones that are angry the angry mobs is they never seek to educate they only seek to like punish also grandstand they seem to want to make this big speech you can hear in that lady's voice she was going for audience the audience clap two three times didn't get it and was like i'll keep going she's seen Oprah she knows how to manipulate a crowd she knows how to get those people riled up yeah well listen man that's part of being a person like that's half the reward for saying something that's right is the love that you get from people when you say that it's right and they recognize it and they go yes so people get addicted to that yes so they constantly do things that they think are at least perceived as being right and they get very vocal with things when they perceive those things are going to get a very big reaction for standing up against them yeah and it becomes this moral high ground sort of grandstanding peacocking sort of a thing where they just are constantly trying to let everyone even know how uncool it is to do this and how wrong it is to do that.

[2547] Like, settle the fuck down.

[2548] Yeah.

[2549] Like, we could see what you're doing.

[2550] A weird thing.

[2551] And then sometimes they'll see something that doesn't quite fit in.

[2552] Like they'll say they were trying to make, you know how they make rape broader and broader and broader?

[2553] Oh, yeah.

[2554] Which is, I really does think does a disservice to rape.

[2555] It does.

[2556] To be able to make it seem like, anyway, they were saying coercion is rape where if you talk someone into it.

[2557] Yes.

[2558] That's rape.

[2559] And then a bunch of men was like, oh, well, if that's true, then I've been raped a bunch of times.

[2560] And then the super liberal left was like, oh, we don't want to make that.

[2561] You don't want to make you be able to be victim.

[2562] So, okay, that's no longer rape.

[2563] Yeah.

[2564] Coercion was one, someone under the influence of alcohol, which was very questionable.

[2565] Yeah.

[2566] That's a weird one because we all know that there's different states of mind and that a woman who decides to get how to get a couple drinks and then wants to have sex.

[2567] If the man is sober.

[2568] That was a weird one.

[2569] It's supposed to be that you're not supposed to do it because she's under the influence.

[2570] like that was that was the argument that was being pushed it's too black and white so it's like I know a lot of women who are like oh I can't have sex without drinking I have to drink before I have sex and it's like oh well so then okay it's a split they don't all think the same thing of course so some of them the militant ones want to say you're a rapist now right and some of the other ones like no no women can take control for themselves they can have some drinks and and lubricate themselves if they want to it's also really the only time we're ever asking people to like we're saying like you don't have control right you're not even responsible for what you're doing as opposed to like driving yeah like if you're under the influence and drive like no one says hey it wasn't your fault that you plowed into that school bus full of kids with your car because you were drunk that used to be the rule you couldn't control it well it still is the rule but i'm saying like it's they'll say that if it comes to sexual intercourse right but they won't say that in comes to driving like no one's going to say you couldn't consent to being behind the wheel you were under the influence it's not your fault.

[2571] Like, you're supposed to know enough.

[2572] Like, it's supposed to be deeply embedded in your head enough that that you don't go into that car and start it, even though you're drunk.

[2573] But sex, you're like, no, no. Yeah, you can't handle it.

[2574] Yeah, you can't handle it.

[2575] You don't know what's going on.

[2576] It's like, yes.

[2577] It used to be an sketch for a drunk driving.

[2578] You ran over somebody while you were drunk driving.

[2579] They're like, I'm sorry, but officers, like, you know, self -defense.

[2580] I was drunk.

[2581] Same shit.

[2582] I wouldn't do it on purpose.

[2583] I didn't do it on purpose.

[2584] I was drunk.

[2585] That's why I lost control the car.

[2586] Obviously, it's hard to control the car when you're drunk, right?

[2587] So, that's what happened to me. When did it become illegal to drink?

[2588] I don't know.

[2589] I don't know.

[2590] That's a very good question.

[2591] I look that up.

[2592] You're not too long.

[2593] 60s?

[2594] My parents of my friends and whatnot, like they did it.

[2595] Or like in the 70s are.

[2596] Everybody's done it.

[2597] Let's Google it and find out.

[2598] But let's take a guess.

[2599] I say 50s.

[2600] 50s?

[2601] Late 50s.

[2602] I say 61.

[2603] That's how late in the 50s.

[2604] I'm going to go with 69.

[2605] Okay.

[2606] It is fun to say that.

[2607] I think I'm wrong, though.

[2608] 73?

[2609] 73.

[2610] That seems so late.

[2611] Maybe.

[2612] Maybe.

[2613] Hmm.

[2614] I feel like I should stick to the 60s.

[2615] The first state that adopted any sort of law was New York in 1910.

[2616] Whoa.

[2617] But, um.

[2618] Bore we off.

[2619] I didn't know what that car's that.

[2620] I feel like when I looked this up before.

[2621] I thought cars were drunk.

[2622] I thought cars were drunk two years into having cars.

[2623] Yeah, don't get on your horse.

[2624] It's hilarious.

[2625] I tried to remember looking this up.

[2626] I think like if sometime in the 50s or 60s or maybe even is up to like 1980s, when Mad started that the states that weren't adopting it were going to get stopped get funding for federal road in the 80s stuff like that so they had to adopt all the laws that's like how they forced everyone in oh dude of course people drink it would be a bunch of people driving like have you tried driving yet like dude it's awesome and somebody's like have you tried it drunk and like no wow I'm for sure gonna do that sounds like a great idea see that's where a horse is superior yeah because the horse isn't going to crash because the horse is sober autopilot yeah yeah I mean it's almost like a form it's you can pass that on top of it it's like a superior form of travel in a lot of of ways you have a relationship with this animal you know you go up to it hey they're mr flapjacks or whatever the fuck his name is you pet him you're a good old boy we get you some feed you give you put the feedback on he choose his food like what the fuck man that's probably a way better way of getting around as long as you're not allergic to horses yeah that's way way so if you're allergic to horse in the west dude you're fucked you're living here how the fuck is a person allergic to horses this is how weak our gene pool has gotten folks yeah that's sad i i feel i feel so bad for people that are allergic to animals and people that are allergic to pollen and people that are allergic to wool a lot of people close to me have allergies it's it's so hard to watch because it's annoying like that there's a thing out there that can do that to them just what the fuck is that doesn't even make any sense and it's not it's not the it's not the thing's self -defense mechanism no it's dumb it's like grass some some kids They're super allergic to types of grass.

[2627] There's kids that, like, they have celiacs.

[2628] My kids are friends with them, and, you know, you have to be real careful that they don't eat anything that has any wheat.

[2629] I thought you were going to say, you have to be careful.

[2630] Well, they become too much friends with them.

[2631] No, they can't eat.

[2632] They start inviting me to your home.

[2633] They have to have very strict diets.

[2634] Yeah, it's crazy.

[2635] Real super strict diets because they have an allergy.

[2636] It's a fuck, man. It gets all hot and, like, things happen to you.

[2637] Dude, allergies are fucking straight.

[2638] Like, peanuts.

[2639] Like, if you have that, like, bro.

[2640] Mm -hmm.

[2641] You can smell it, two rows behind you in a plane.

[2642] You're fucked.

[2643] Brian Callan's mom, he said on the podcast, he was talking about if she eats Brazil nuts.

[2644] She gets, like, terribly ill. Well, like a Brazil nut.

[2645] They're gross, though.

[2646] They're not that good.

[2647] They're big.

[2648] They ain't that good.

[2649] They ain't shit.

[2650] They ain't shit.

[2651] Oh, macadamias.

[2652] No, no. Macadamia.

[2653] I love me in macadamia.

[2654] Yeah.

[2655] But nobody's putting Brazil nuts and chocolate the fuck out of here with that big stupid nut.

[2656] That's a big, stupid, weird -tasting nut.

[2657] Un -savory.

[2658] Fucking, like a weapon.

[2659] You have a cashew and you eat that beast of shit.

[2660] You got to fucking give me half of it now and half of it later.

[2661] Yeah, like if you have like if you told me, dude, you got to pass on one nut for the rest of your life.

[2662] Brazil nuts right up the bat?

[2663] No, what I think about it.

[2664] Yeah, like I kind of like walnuts.

[2665] It's an unusual.

[2666] Well, that's a dry flavor.

[2667] Yeah, they're weird once in a while with some salt on them.

[2668] Imagine if there was like salmoliers for nuts the same way they are for like wines.

[2669] Yeah.

[2670] Some dude like sat you down and was talking to you about the cashews he was about to serve.

[2671] Yeah.

[2672] This is a cashew from the Himalayas.

[2673] You could open a whole restaurant called Deez Nuts.

[2674] Joe, I'm going to go take pictures from my Netflix double special called Double Negative out this July.

[2675] Ari Shafir, rocking and rolling.

[2676] Yeah.

[2677] I'm very excited that you're going to have your special on Netflix.

[2678] It's huge.

[2679] Yeah.

[2680] All the Canadians out there and Australians, you finally get to see something?

[2681] Will you come on the day you're going to release it?

[2682] You're going to be out of town.

[2683] Jesus, bitch.

[2684] What day is it?

[2685] July 18.

[2686] What about the day before that?

[2687] Am I out of town then?

[2688] Yeah, you're going to be on vacation that whole week.

[2689] Oh, okay.

[2690] Shit.

[2691] Yeah.

[2692] Well, we're work out of time.

[2693] Um, when are you leaving?

[2694] From here?

[2695] Yeah, when are you jetting?

[2696] That's when you're going back to that dirty, stinky, stacked up, rat -infested.

[2697] We could record one off this and release it later.

[2698] Record one off this.

[2699] Off, not in the studio.

[2700] Let's go up on a hike by your house.

[2701] Let's do a hike.

[2702] And we'll do a hike podcast.

[2703] Let's do a hike podcast.

[2704] And you can put it out the day up.

[2705] I like it.

[2706] Would that work?

[2707] Yes.

[2708] Beautiful.

[2709] All right, that's what it is.

[2710] Okay, ladies and gentlemen, make sure you download Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank.

[2711] It's one of the best podcasts in the known universe.

[2712] Thank you.

[2713] And it's one that I never miss. It's a one of the few.

[2714] Oh, sorry.

[2715] I thought you said this one of you always miss. No, punched drunk sports too.

[2716] Yeah.

[2717] But yeah, but you listen to Skeptic Tank.

[2718] That's great.

[2719] I'm happy about that.

[2720] I'm not a sports fan so much.

[2721] So the Punch Drunk.

[2722] I'll listen to you guys when you talk about fights.

[2723] I always want to call and go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got my asshole bleached yesterday.

[2724] I heard.

[2725] I heard.

[2726] I saw pictures.

[2727] Tripply.

[2728] I mean, Serrazi's had a hold up in my butt shakes.

[2729] How'd that feel?

[2730] Weird, man. I don't imagine.

[2731] If you were comfortable with it, then it'd be a problem.

[2732] This dude had his fucking finger right out of the rim.

[2733] I kept thinking he was just going to go forward.

[2734] So he had to touch your asshole while he was bleaching it?

[2735] Glove.

[2736] He had a glove.

[2737] What did this guy look like?

[2738] Can I guess?

[2739] Can I guess?

[2740] Yeah, sure.

[2741] I would guess that he has like limp implants and Botox.

[2742] And it's like an oddly shiny forehead.

[2743] head and he's got a perfect haircut and he's very feminine but in a weird sort of a way and he's just rubbing and he's a suit on and he has white gloves they're white gloves like with the lines in the back of him like Mickey Mouse has like a butler's glove well to give you a hint is Sam Tripoli who got the person oh so he's an Armenian no he was a gimp wearing a mask with a leather leash around him and a cod piece That's better He was looking for a point star But one couldn't do it So he got this instead That's amazing Yeah Was the person nice to you?

[2744] Yeah it was pretty nice Beautiful I can see his mustache Through his Gimp mask And that's it Wow Yeah Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen Skeptu thanks back you guys A lot of content A lot of content It's back every is wake Depending if I'm not doing too much Travel and stuff But yeah All right I want to get Killer Mike on Yeah, me too If you're out there, dude I want to talk to about the revolution Okay, well let's get them in town We'll have them do both Okay Or we can do a swapcast Ooh Put it out wherever you want Yeah, you know what swapcast is?

[2745] Sort of Bert and Doug do it Like it'll go up on births And it'll go up on Doug's It's wherever Sort of like we did with the end of the world Like everybody put the end of the world up Right When we do the end of the world podcast On election night Everybody got it We just sent a copy of it And everybody just put it up Swapcast That's a cool idea Yay.

[2746] It's Democratic or something.

[2747] All right, folks, that's it.

[2748] Love you.

[2749] Bye, bye.

[2750] See ya.