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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Well, hello.
[17] Hi.
[18] Welcome to my favorite murder.
[19] The Mianisode.
[20] Gimieniosode.
[21] We have tons of minions on this episode.
[22] They're so funny because they don't speak English.
[23] They're so cute.
[24] Overalls?
[25] Are you kidding me?
[26] Oh, my God.
[27] And one eye.
[28] That's all you need.
[29] That's, so, so make a list.
[30] We're about to read to you your emails you sent to us.
[31] They used to be about your hometown murders.
[32] Or any other thing in the world.
[33] They're now about anything you want.
[34] We're doing whatever we want.
[35] And here's one of my favorite new twist.
[36] in turns of the hometown.
[37] Now we're getting updated stories after we do local shows.
[38] And so I now have a couple emails about the case.
[39] The I knew so -and -so and I did this.
[40] And here's one thing.
[41] Yes.
[42] Tell us what we missed.
[43] Phoenix came back hard with some Jody Arias information.
[44] Hello.
[45] Hello, well.
[46] I'm fresh out of the Phoenix show.
[47] Wow.
[48] She just left.
[49] Holy shit.
[50] And wanted quickly to send you an email that I've been contemplating sending for nearly two years.
[51] I put it off because I'm lazy and also because I don't have one complete story to share just some random things.
[52] Great.
[53] Beautiful.
[54] And here's to you for being lazy.
[55] Back in 2013 I was at work talking to one of the IT guys when his phone started ringing nonstop.
[56] Casually he said something like, oh, it's another new show calling.
[57] That guy.
[58] Oh yeah.
[59] I took the bait because of course I did and he asked what he meant.
[60] He started telling me about how he lived with Travis Alexander and was one of the people who discovered his body.
[61] He's one of the roommates?
[62] Yep.
[63] He had already been interviewed by Nancy Grace and was being pursued by others.
[64] This was during the height of the sexy slayer media circus.
[65] Holy shit.
[66] I asked him if he thought she was guilty.
[67] He quickly said yes and that she was so absolutely crazy that anyone who knew him never even suspected anyone else.
[68] My coworker had only met her a couple times because he was busy with his own life, but he said it was easy to see he also mentioned that Travis's bedroom light had been on while he was quote unquote out of town a .k .a. lying there murdered and that he was going to turn it off but the door was locked so he just left it on.
[69] Oh my God.
[70] Imagine living with a corpse and not knowing just going on with life as usual.
[71] I read the police report for this case more recently and it's pretty interesting.
[72] There's also a theory online that my co -worker was the actual murderer.
[73] What?
[74] That's amazing.
[75] The internet is a strange treasure.
[76] There's a, fuck, treasure.
[77] When they said that?
[78] No, I said that.
[79] There's like theories that it wasn't Jodi Arias.
[80] Yes, we know.
[81] There's plenty of people who don't think that she did it.
[82] They think she's innocent.
[83] I'm going to have to stay up all night, looking those up.
[84] Look it up.
[85] I think Mals is one of those people.
[86] Oh, right.
[87] Who passionately believes that Jody Arias was set up somehow.
[88] Molly McAlear.
[89] Stop it.
[90] love you stop it um anyway you ladies put on a great show tonight and the hometown storyteller was badass oh she was remember she was the best oh god bless that woman she fucking it was like it was like watching someone run for office and everyone in the room's like you have my vote totally so glad i actually left the house to see you in real life amen my life come back soon and bring stephen Samantha that's so awesome uh shit i'm gonna have to read all the theories.
[91] Yes.
[92] Including the roommate theory.
[93] I mean, you know there's so much more going on in that whole thing.
[94] I wanted to go down a whole Nancy Grace Avenue with that story, but it would have taken way too long because I was obsessed with her obsession with it.
[95] Who do you think, who do they think did it?
[96] The roommate?
[97] Oh, I don't know.
[98] I have no idea.
[99] This one's called first responder hometown lighthearted question mark.
[100] Okay.
[101] Georgia and Karen.
[102] Hello.
[103] MFMFAM.
[104] I've been pondering on whether or not to send my family first responder stories, mostly because I couldn't pick out my favorite because there are so many.
[105] I come up from a family of first responders.
[106] My mom's father was a sheriff deputy back when your personal vehicle was your patrol car, but most deputies preferred just to use their horse.
[107] How old are these people?
[108] I don't know.
[109] My mother has worked as an ER nurse and a 911 dispatcher, in addition to volunteering as an EMT.
[110] My brother's volunteer EMT and firefighter in his free time and works in law enforcement my dad she just kind of gives us her resume that the whole family's into it the whole family uh usually how it is so uh okay when my dad was a young beat cop he attempted to arrest a man i don't remember the entire story but this guy was jacked up on drugs and all caps angry oh the guy knocked my dad down and the two started wrestling to the ground who fucking knocks a cop down and starts fighting a cop well if you're on PCP and you think the cop is Godzilla.
[111] Sure, you know, fair.
[112] This guy knocked my dad down and the two started wrestling.
[113] The guy reached for my dad's gun multiple times and my dad could feel him pulling at the weapon with extreme force.
[114] This was back in the day when cops carried revolvers and leather holsters with only a thin, unreliable strip of leather to hold them in place.
[115] After one hell of a fight, back up arrived.
[116] Back up arrived.
[117] I thought he got back up.
[118] Back up.
[119] You got to have a fucking slash, man. That's right.
[120] Listen.
[121] Back up arrived and my dad was able to get away and the guy was arrested.
[122] When my dad got up from the ground, he was covered in blood.
[123] After checking himself for any wounds that happened during the struggle, he found that his assailant had ripped all caps.
[124] A strip of flesh from the palm of his own hand on the hammer of the revolver when he was trying to take my dad's gun.
[125] Oh, no. Somehow the tiny piece of leather that retained the revolver did not break, which ultimately saved my dad's life that night.
[126] Wow.
[127] Thank you so much for the amazing podcast.
[128] Your fun banter has gotten me through so many long commutes and equally long days.
[129] Something, something mental health, stigma surrounding mental health, keep them being awesome.
[130] I hope I make it to a live show this year.
[131] So do we, Jesse.
[132] Come on.
[133] Stay sexy and get murdered.
[134] All the best, Jesse.
[135] I like that you said something, something mental health.
[136] You know.
[137] Fill in the blank mental health.
[138] Mental health.
[139] Awesome, Jesse.
[140] That was an amazing story.
[141] Thank God for leather strips.
[142] Hey, man. But also so gross to be covered in someone else's blood when you get out.
[143] From a strip off your hand.
[144] All right.
[145] This one is also from the Phoenix show.
[146] Karen and Georgia, thank you so much for what you do.
[147] And just being you, no problem.
[148] You truly make a tough part of my date.
[149] my commute much easier.
[150] Something, something mental health.
[151] Something, something mental health.
[152] Good night.
[153] I hope you both had a great meal or bought yourself something nice with the gift.
[154] These are the people.
[155] Oh.
[156] Okay.
[157] In the fucking meet and greet line.
[158] This made me laugh so hard.
[159] I love it.
[160] They walked up and they handed each of us a card in an envelope that was sealed.
[161] But it was a thick card in an envelope.
[162] So I go, would you give us money?
[163] And they go, yeah.
[164] Yeah.
[165] And these two hilarious people gave each of us a $50 gift card, like a visa gift card, because they're like, we don't make anything.
[166] And it said in the card, go buy yourself dinner.
[167] Just go buy yourself something nice.
[168] It made me laugh so fucking hard.
[169] And I was like, don't give us money.
[170] And they're like, we want to.
[171] We want to.
[172] You have to keep it.
[173] I still have it in my wallet because I'm like, I can't use this.
[174] I know.
[175] We better buy yourself something nice.
[176] Sure.
[177] That's so hilarious.
[178] funny.
[179] Well, thank you for those.
[180] Luckily, we got to say thank you face to face.
[181] Okay.
[182] So now on to my Jodi Aria story.
[183] So I'm a teacher.
[184] I have been for many years.
[185] After a few years of jumping from grade to grade in an effort to stave off boredom, I opted to take a job teaching in a local men's prison.
[186] Great hours, great pay, shitty toxic environment.
[187] It was just as awful as you'd imagine.
[188] It felt like I was serving a sentence too, if only for 10 hours a day.
[189] I stuck it out though because I was making great money for a teacher.
[190] Skippers go to this point.
[191] Here we are.
[192] I was poached for an interview as people who are in this field are hard to come by.
[193] I showed up to the interview and was asked the usual BS questions.
[194] At the conclusion of the questions, I was given a tour of the facility, specifically the education section.
[195] Each classroom was very clean and organized and the students were busy working hard.
[196] And when we got to the second classroom my guide and possible future boss indicated that this would be the room that I would be taking over.
[197] No sooner does she get buzzed through the door.
[198] Do I clatch a glimpse of the students within and one young lady standing in front acting as the teacher's assistant.
[199] Any guesses on who my teacher's assistant would have been?
[200] Jody.
[201] Yeah, that's right.
[202] It's Jody fucking Arias.
[203] I have never noped out of a situation faster in my life.
[204] Oh my God.
[205] We had a blast with you guys in Phoenix.
[206] Thanks again.
[207] I'll just say the initial C. Oh, my God.
[208] Amazing.
[209] What a crazy fucking life to live as, like, anyone who does anything in a prison and they're not the prisoner.
[210] That's right.
[211] I mean, so hard.
[212] An absolute day -to -day, what the fuck.
[213] So hard and intense and stressful and...
[214] It's not like you're going to an office that you're, like, pissed off about.
[215] Oh, all of it.
[216] Then we could go down a long quarter of, now how about you fucking live there?
[217] How about you're in the jail?
[218] Well, how about you send us your stories about working?
[219] Now we can go there.
[220] Oh, my God.
[221] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[222] Absolutely.
[223] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?
[224] Exactly.
[225] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[226] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[227] That's right.
[228] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[229] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[230] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[231] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[232] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[233] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can't too.
[234] Connect with customers inline and online.
[235] Do retail right with Shopify.
[236] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[237] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[238] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[239] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[240] Goodbye.
[241] Hey, this is exciting.
[242] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[243] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.
[244] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone, who killed Saz?
[245] And were they really after Charles?
[246] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[247] This season, murder hits close to home.
[248] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[249] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[250] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[251] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[252] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[253] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[254] Goodbye.
[255] All right, this one, I'm not going to tell you the name of it, because I'll tell you at the end, because it gives it away.
[256] Karen, Georgia, various animals, and the voice of Tina Belcher.
[257] Stephen!
[258] Butts.
[259] About 10 years ago, my newlywed brother and his wife bought a house built in the early 1900s as a fixer -upper project.
[260] Pass.
[261] Loving it.
[262] The previous family had been living there for about 10 years and were severe hoarders.
[263] Great.
[264] And left so much crap there.
[265] I was about 13 at the time, perfect fucking age to see what hoarding looks like.
[266] Dig through shit.
[267] Never going to do that.
[268] That's right.
[269] Right.
[270] You mean it'll traumatize you into never being a hoarder?
[271] Yes.
[272] Show 13 -year -olds of this shit.
[273] Ugh.
[274] And so that whole summer I had to help clean up that hellhole.
[275] after the first week we had things looking pretty good and cleaned up but there was one wall in the laundry room that always smelled terrible when you passed by it Karen's covering her face I'm holding my forehead in fear we tried bleaching it bleaching a wall but the smell didn't go away wait what you covering a wall and bleach didn't help it just added a new bad smell it just smelled like bleach my brother got tired of it so he took a sledgehammer and knocked down the dry while only to have Oh, ready for this?
[276] Yes.
[277] Both of you look hilarious right now.
[278] Only to have hundreds of tiny mice corpses fall out onto the ground.
[279] This letter is called a wall of mice corpses.
[280] No. Fall to the ground.
[281] My badass mother was the only one who could stomach cleaning up all of the mice which were in varying states of decay.
[282] Some still had flesh while others were only bones and fur, exclamation mark.
[283] I just wanted to make sure that was there.
[284] She initially tried counting how many there were, but gave up after a hundred.
[285] No way.
[286] My mom is always the one in our family that cleans up the barf or poo or whatever gross things happen.
[287] Yeah, that's called being a mom.
[288] That's called being a mother.
[289] That's moms.
[290] After the house renovation continued and was finished and my brother ended a doubling investment on it when he sold it.
[291] But I still have nightmares from seeing.
[292] that mountain of dead mice, I wish we would have taken pictures, but unfortunately we didn't, SSDGM, Spencer.
[293] Spencer, draw us a picture.
[294] Spencer, pictures, or it didn't happen.
[295] Hand -drawn illustrations or it didn't happen.
[296] I mean, you think that, like, mice corpses wouldn't smell.
[297] Well, right?
[298] Yeah, I mean, anything rotting is going to smell.
[299] Yeah, but they probably, yeah.
[300] And also, their mice filled with, you know, they're all, Disease -based, nope.
[301] Whoa.
[302] They sleep in match boxes.
[303] I had mice when I was a kid as pets.
[304] Did you?
[305] Sunshine and rats, yeah.
[306] They're real sweet.
[307] They are sweet, but when they're dead.
[308] They're not sweet.
[309] They're sour.
[310] Are you ready for this last one?
[311] First responder story, winter chemical spill.
[312] Oh, I love it.
[313] I love chemicals.
[314] Hello.
[315] We have all our lives.
[316] hello to everyone animal and all I love it sounds kind of foreign I'm a forensics major and I absolutely love your guys podcast the UNL Forensics Club University of Nevada Laughlin that's alright what's UNL did you make that up oh I made it up UNL University of Louisiana where's the end though you University University of L UNL Nevada it.
[317] Stephen's going to fix it.
[318] New Loughlin.
[319] It's the University of New Loughlin.
[320] That's exactly right.
[321] You remember old Loughlin?
[322] You drove through it on the way to Vegas?
[323] Well, now there's a new Loughlin, and it's better.
[324] University of North London.
[325] Oh, University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
[326] Lincoln, Nebraska.
[327] Oh.
[328] Huh.
[329] That's far away from what we thought.
[330] Guys.
[331] Oh, yep, because, well, it comes up later.
[332] Dad damn me. Edit that down a little bit I think trim it a bit It's funny That we're stupid But let's not go on and on about our stupidity As we have for two years Leave that part of Okay Let's see So the UNL Forensics Club Introduce me and Mystery Club Introduce me to you guys I've been listening to it continuously since I come from a whole family Of true crime freaks My mom was studying to become a criminologist parentheses, but I came along.
[333] And my grandpa was an investigator, and my aunt is a forensic psychologist.
[334] So murder and serial killers, it's the number one table topic at Thanksgiving dinner.
[335] Hell yes.
[336] Oh, my God, I love it.
[337] However, I'm the black sheep of my family since I'm studying to become a psychiatric nurse.
[338] Hello.
[339] Pat Jr. Long intro short, my current boyfriend is a firefighter in Blaine, Minnesota.
[340] So one night during dinner with my parents, he would.
[341] was on call and had a scanner going, which is an amazing night for a nosy person who relishes in hearing other people's business.
[342] We used to listen to a police scanner when me and my friend Jay Johnston, who is also on Mr. Show, we used to hang out at his house.
[343] He had a police scanner.
[344] And then after a little while, I can't remember if it was also the police scanner that would pick up cordless phone calls.
[345] We would listen to people in the neighborhood's cordless phone calls.
[346] And it would be nothing.
[347] It would just be two people like, just chatting about stuff it was the most fascinating we we did it for hours we were just listen to people talking on the phone that's all I want and also like of course every time I talk on the phone I'm like talk on the phone like someone's listening to someone's listening to you my brother my brother had like a CB radio when he was like the 13 you know 1990 computer genius yeah before was a thing and we would listen to talk to CB radio people and he would know how to like plug the phones in to listen to shit and it was like the best the best the best people that's why reality tv is as popular as it is we just want to watch other people hanging out yeah we just want to watch the Kardashians eat salad and talk about nothing yeah got it here we go here we go during dinner my boyfriend scanner went silent and he had gotten a call which pick which he picks up and runs out the door and drives away leaving his wallet and jacket in a minnesota winter Jesus.
[348] Later that night around 1 a .m., he comes back, and he tells me that one of those chemical trucks slid on some ice and was knocked over and spilled its white contents along the highway, which caused the surrounding fire departments to come to the rescue.
[349] As they all showed up in hazmat suits prepared for a chemical spill, my boyfriend's chief approaches the tip truck to see the label reading Lando Lakes.
[350] All of the Minneapolis and St. Paul area fire departments were called for emergency, causing all of the on -call workers to rush to the scene, all for a truck full of milk that had tipped over on the highway, then some person who called 911 without reading the name of the company on the truck.
[351] Oh, no. SSDGM, Gabriella.
[352] That's amazing.
[353] But listen, what if it goes deep?
[354] What if Landau Lakes is fucking, you know, the diehard people?
[355] It's they're actually making laundry.
[356] detergent.
[357] Laundry detergent.
[358] It goes to the top.
[359] It goes to the top.
[360] It goes all the way to the top.
[361] Well, that was fun.
[362] Well, that was nice times.
[363] Listen.
[364] We really, look, we ranged it.
[365] We ranged it from here to there.
[366] From the top to the bottom, from the back to the middle and around again.
[367] Is that a song?
[368] Yeah.
[369] Oh, is it from the 90s?
[370] Yeah.
[371] What's the ending part?
[372] What's the ending part?
[373] Come on, you know, I'm going to walk 500 miles.
[374] It's like, fucking R &B shit.
[375] Pure.
[376] Love.
[377] Nope.
[378] That's it.
[379] Well, send your shit to...
[380] I'm so ashamed.
[381] No, you shouldn't be.
[382] It's very...
[383] It's very Georgia, like, 11 -year -old Paul Abdul fan.
[384] Oh, okay.
[385] Right?
[386] I just can't even...
[387] Can you cue it up to play us out?
[388] He's got it.
[389] All right.
[390] Thanks for listening.
[391] Send your, whatever your story is.
[392] Send it to my favorite murder at Gmail.
[393] And stay sexy.
[394] And don't get murdered.
[395] Bye.
[396] Come on This is your drug days Fucking rave shit Isn't it?
[397] No, this is some No, this is like straight up Like, um, C &C Music Factory Time Steven, you know it?
[398] No, it's pretty much.
[399] Elvis?
[400] Want a cookie?
[401] Ringtone boy.
[402] With the ringtone.