#701 - Honey Honey (Part 1)

[0] O -T -P -H -J Over the pants hand job Over -the -pants hand jump Did you just make that up I'm just waiting for the right fucking time Oh my God That's hilarious All right ladies and gentlemen This is now where it's official Yeah I said it sounds professional Someone said I have Who said I have a radio voice Oh Donald Cowboy was like You got a radio voice Now it's your radio voice Donald Cowboy Donald Cowboy Soroni He's a guy who fights in the UFC And he was here for the podcast the other day and he said, he accused me of having a radio voice.

[1] Now, I think about it.

[2] Fuck, do I?

[3] You have a delicate voice.

[4] Why is that a bad thing?

[5] I think that's a compliment.

[6] Well, I recognize that the instrument has a bunch of different sounds that it can make.

[7] What is one of the reasons why I appreciate music?

[8] I appreciate music.

[9] I mean, I told you the guys this before.

[10] One of the things I love about what you guys do is I have zero talent.

[11] Like, I love something that I have, like, where I don't know anything about it.

[12] It's fascinating.

[13] I love music.

[14] I'm a huge fan.

[15] I know nothing about it.

[16] when you guys start talking about bars and notes and I'm like blah blah blah blah I have a question we don't either do you are you like because you use her voice a lot you know when you're on stage and you use it in different registers and you know you podcast do you like have you ever had problems with it no that's amazing because you hear screaming too well I know you do I know you hear a lot of comedians I think well I could do it with that fucking your thing up well the UFC is the weirdest one I fucking scream sometimes.

[17] Like when a fight, and I don't even know I'm doing it until I'm doing it.

[18] Like sometimes I'm standing up, I don't even know I'm up.

[19] Like I'm standing up, I'm doing like there was an Arlofsky and Travis Brown fight.

[20] This crazy fight between these two giant guys who are peeing the fuck out of each other.

[21] They kept getting dropped like over and like Orlovsky dropped him, I think three times and he kept getting up and then he dropped Arlofsky and then Arlofsky came back and knocked him out.

[22] And by the end of the fight, I was standing up screaming.

[23] And I took your shirt off.

[24] I had to realize, I didn't in my pants first.

[25] I didn't know I was up until I was like, I'm fucking standing up.

[26] I don't even know.

[27] I've only done that a couple times ever.

[28] I just all of a sudden I'm standing up.

[29] Well, the fact that you can scream and you don't lose your voice, I think, is remarkable because it's like I, back when I was bartending, I would lose my voice all the time just from trying to, you know, raise your volume.

[30] And so, but when I quit bartending, my voice went up like an octave.

[31] And I had to go to speech therapy, so I learned all these things about like how to use, how to use my voice.

[32] When you say up an octave, is that like there's an actual note?

[33] For singing, not for my, I wasn't like speaking in and a, I'd be like, hello.

[34] Well, those old ladies that you hear about like the old bar lady.

[35] Like, who was that girl?

[36] Sue Bob, Sue Bob from the whites of West Virginia.

[37] Another Budwads are boy.

[38] I always been the sexy one in the family.

[39] You ever seen it?

[40] You haven't seen it?

[41] Oh, my God.

[42] Oh, my God.

[43] No, you never seen it.

[44] Never once.

[45] The wonderful whites of West Virginia.

[46] Oh, my God.

[47] Everyone talks about that.

[48] Oh, my God.

[49] Did you tell us about this?

[50] When he was in Nashville.

[51] So that was like, everybody.

[52] Required viewing.

[53] Once you've seen it, you can't shut the fuck up about it.

[54] Because you're like, yo, I think it was, wasn't Johnny Knoxville?

[55] Was it his?

[56] Amazing.

[57] Amazing.

[58] It's just a really well done documentary.

[59] Not just freaky people, but it's all that bar.

[60] That bar voice.

[61] They got that bar voice.

[62] It's intense.

[63] Cigarettes and yelling.

[64] Yeah, cigarettes, booze and yelling.

[65] And there's a sexiness to it, though.

[66] There's definitely like a, oh, wow, that person has fun.

[67] And, you know, and I, I've definitely, like, I like having a raspy voice, but also, like, know that it's just damage.

[68] So I'm not super pumped about it at the same time.

[69] I think people are really attracted to voices like that in general, though.

[70] You listen, like, Otis Redding.

[71] He's got a battered fucking voice.

[72] Janice Joplin.

[73] How about Bukowski?

[74] I mean, that was half of his thing.

[75] Born into this.

[76] Yeah.

[77] And you trust him.

[78] It was half of his thing.

[79] Like, oh, yeah.

[80] Yeah.

[81] But I also think it was his, like, it's like, it's like, some people have that.

[82] incredible ability to like channel their person through this incredible voice like Bukowski or somebody like that and like you know so they're easier to listen to.

[83] Well Bukowski's poems were always just raw and interesting but there were nothing like when he read them especially when you saw it.

[84] There's like for him he's one of the rare poets that I think that a visual aspect like enhances it significantly like I love one of my favorite uh there's a bunch of videos of him uh at like these readings and he would sit in front of these audiences and he would drink wine and he would get fucked up and if people would talk you would yell at them I'll come over there right now and I'll beat the fucking shit out of you and he was this old drunk man but he was just and he really would have gone into the audience and fought people and then he would read this like really intense stuff that he wrote about life and mortality and his vision of humanity it's so hard to to get people to care about poetry.

[85] So I think that's how you do it.

[86] You've got to kind of yell at them.

[87] You're taking such a crazy chance to even say you wrote a poem.

[88] You tell someone, hey, I wrote a poem.

[89] Nobody goes, yeah, fucking awesome.

[90] Bring it, dude.

[91] Bring that poem.

[92] Let's hear those feelings.

[93] Most of the time when someone says, I wrote a poem, I'd like you to read it, like, no, no!

[94] Like, if someone says they have a song, I'm like, oh, I love songs.

[95] Someone says, dude, I got the best.

[96] joke.

[97] I can't wait to hear it.

[98] I got the best poem.

[99] Don't get the fuck out of here.

[100] The best poem is a chore.

[101] The best.

[102] Oh, man. Right?

[103] The best poet is a bore and the best poem is a chore.

[104] The best.

[105] The very best.

[106] A little poetry right there, Joe.

[107] Oh, my God.

[108] Did you just write a poem?

[109] That's my work.

[110] Don't lay that shit on us.

[111] But when people, when there is a visual element, it's amazing.

[112] You know Spalding Gray?

[113] Yes.

[114] Fuck, that's incredible.

[115] Yeah, didn't he commit suicide?

[116] I don't remember, I don't know.

[117] But he did that swimming in Cambodia stuff, and it's him just telling these stories, and it's really poetic.

[118] But it's the storytelling element, you know, and all of a sudden we want to listen to.

[119] I want to listen to it.

[120] I think it's fucking cool.

[121] How about Eric Bogosian?

[122] I don't know who that dude is.

[123] Yeah, he, I think, I think, yeah, Spalding Gray did do that.

[124] He was having some health issues, and he wound up killing himself.

[125] But Eric Bogosian was a guy who, um, actually.

[126] Actually, he was doing more like one -man shows.

[127] But Goseon was in a bunch of movies for a while.

[128] But he actually did some acting, too.

[129] But he did like these one -man show things.

[130] I want to say he was a reading.

[131] I want to say they were like really well -done readings, too, that he did.

[132] But Spalding Graves' guy was like more known for it, right?

[133] Because he sat down at the table.

[134] Yeah, he had this desk.

[135] And he even had like a real theatrical vibe.

[136] Lights would be going on.

[137] Yeah.

[138] It's sad when you hear about a guy like that killing himself.

[139] because you're like fuck dude you know all those people liked you was he very famous when he died well he was famous enough that we're talking about yeah in that community yeah in that community I'm sure he was reasonably well known for sure and at the time he had been on TV quite a bit which is where Ben and I probably saw him first right that's on the YouTube because he had that series like who's the filmmaker guy he did a lot of concert films and I can't remember his right now but in the 60s he was he was at like he was taking Hendricks footage and he was taking a lot of festival footage in the 60s which nobody was really doing at that time or at least nowhere near wait this isn't like some of the um the rounder stuff no that was way or Lomax that's not Lomax no he was more great I think his heyday was like the 80s late 70s so it was like swimming to Cambodia was 87 but who's the guy who did that who did the film was Cambodia who directed it let me see here hold on please because he's he did this um i think the toronto peace festival this fucking amazing johnathan demi demi yeah there you go you're faster than me you bastard i have it too i'm trying yeah um yeah so yeah that was uh he was apparently it was about his participation in the movie the killing fields i didn't know that he had anything to do with that yeah well all these beautiful stories i mean it's not much about the production it's about his experiences he just kind of like took shit right pretty he was extreme or kind of like a radical liver and just a great storyteller which is super rare I think I mean it seems like mainly that that's kind of the comedian's realm now like people don't give a shit about storytellers but people if you're comedian you can tell us the story well I think in a way the problem is like trying to sell this just like we're talking about like selling poetry selling a guy who's like doing a one man show or one man story it's hard but essentially like a lot of people's podcasts are like that.

[140] Or stand -up.

[141] I mean, stand -up.

[142] Stand -up can be.

[143] Same thing.

[144] In a lot of ways, yeah.

[145] But I think the idea about stand -up is, though, you're going to try to be as self -indulgent, like only, you try to be as little self -indulgence as possible, and that's the wrong way of phrasing that.

[146] The least amount of self -indulgent humanly possible, and the most amount of entertainment for the people that are listening.

[147] So the most amount of self -deprecation, the most amount of laughs that you can get out of it, the most amount of humility, and approach to the laugh so you don't make people uncomfortable there's all these variables in achieving the laugh and achieving the laugh is like the proof that you're on the same level and then they appreciate your sincerity and then you're funny and you're hilarious it's all working at it so it's all like this like dance that you're doing to achieve a result whereas you don't have to have a real result with one of these fucking things so you can go but it has to be gripping you know what I mean it would have you would think but the amount that aren't like to get it to that polished diamond state requires a lot of discipline sure but you say the same about stand up right i mean stand up you eat dick on stage it just don't it just balances it out you can't it's just too hard the bombing is too hard on the soul yeah you'll you'll come around writing the best shit you can that's a dude i really think there's a level of bravery in stand -up that is not really involved in music people just don't judge you the same way you know it's a hard thing to quantify because I think there's a level of bravery and being a soldier that's a lot tougher than a lower.

[148] Sure, but none of those people are here.

[149] We can go deeper and deeper, though, you know what I mean?

[150] There's a level of bravery when Buck Rogers save the earth.

[151] You know what I'm saying?

[152] I mean, there's always going to be everybody makes their effort in a different way, you know?

[153] Definitely.

[154] If I had the physical structure to be a soldier and the brain power, emotional power.

[155] Do you think you go over and kick some ass for America?

[156] I think I don't I think I could But I don't know if it would be for America As much as it would probably need to like Save myself not to sound so selfish For Cincinnati I'm not running for America I would do it for Cleveland I would kick ass for national guard I don't know about all of America I'm just kidding Cincinnati and Cleveland Do they have a rivalry at all Like if you said I would kick ass for Cleveland Does people in Cincinnati Are they going to hate on you now next time you're there No Cincinnati's fine by me No I'm not look look look How dare you It's really Kentucky.

[157] Browns versus Bengals, Browns versus Steelers, Browns versus Ravens.

[158] That's the trifecta of difficult times in that region of the country.

[159] But I'll be honest with you, I love playing in Pittsburgh.

[160] I love playing in Cincinnati.

[161] And every time I'll have fun, harmless banter about our sports teams.

[162] I can't really say the same about Baltimore as much as like Baltimore is a great town, but we only really went through there once.

[163] And we literally stopped to eat dinner and found crack.

[164] on the ground.

[165] This is bad PRCs.

[166] We got to build Baltimore back up.

[167] I know, but we want to come play there.

[168] Help us.

[169] You don't have to take some time.

[170] Don't be a hero, okay?

[171] We were talking about the amount of bravery it takes to be a comedian.

[172] Stay around to play Baltimore.

[173] I had this guy, Michael Wood, who was a cop from Baltimore, had him on the podcast.

[174] Oh, wow.

[175] He was a retired cop.

[176] And a young guy, too.

[177] He had just a massive shoulder injury, his shoulder blew apart.

[178] They put it back together, and it blew a part again, he had to retire.

[179] But very intelligent, articulate dude and very compassionate.

[180] And outside of the police department now, you know, still a young guy.

[181] What was he, like, 35 or something like that?

[182] Maybe younger.

[183] And he said blew apart.

[184] Did he get shot?

[185] No, I forget what the injury was, but he had to get shoulder reconstructive surgery.

[186] And then it still didn't take.

[187] And it was like, his shoulder's fucked.

[188] Like, he apparently was in a high -speed chase and his shoulder just blew out while he was turning the steering well.

[189] It's pretty fucked up.

[190] But the point is, like, he was talking about how crazy Baltimore has always been.

[191] They found some directives, I guess it was, from the police department from the 1970s.

[192] And he's like, me and these other cops are reading this.

[193] We're like, Jesus, fucking Christ, we're chasing our tails.

[194] Like, this is exactly the same places where the exact same crimes are going on.

[195] No, there's a specific reason for that.

[196] And that's because there was, like, literal, like, constitutional, like, city ordinances of segregation.

[197] and consolidating these neighborhoods and having them be specifically black and you couldn't buy a house in a certain neighborhood if you were black even if you had the money you know it's it's the whole it's the whole tier is like they were just built to fail yeah and in the the reason that crime was flourishing and thriving so much is because they didn't have a fucking chance I mean it's like the uh I listened to a NPR podcast a little while ago that explained how um when when Was it the 60s, boom?

[198] It was post -war, post -World War II.

[199] Post -World War II.

[200] And they're making all these housing ordinances for the vets and things like that.

[201] And they were like, hey, guys, welcome back.

[202] You can't live here.

[203] Yeah.

[204] It's awful.

[205] It's awful.

[206] It is pretty awful.

[207] I didn't even know about that until a few years ago.

[208] Yeah, and it all seemed with like...

[209] Do you remember who brought that up?

[210] Someone brought that up on the podcast.

[211] And we were like, what?

[212] And we had to look into it.

[213] Do you remember who it was, Jim?

[214] No. It's the same with education, too.

[215] I mean, it would be like all of these, you know, schools that just wouldn't let intelligent African -Americans in and you wouldn't get the education that you wanted or deserved or you know could achieve and it was just like you know you're kind of stuck in this box which is those neighborhoods you know they were they were made for that it's totally it's so fucked up well it's it's so many levels to the whole thing like first of all the level of overcoming slavery like you ever heard a white guy saying God it was so long ago fucking get over it you know the Jews I've heard white guys say that and you go okay It's not that long.

[216] It seems like...

[217] It's less than a hundred years before what she was just talking about.

[218] Yeah, it seems like it was long.

[219] Like, I have a 1965 Corvette.

[220] When that Corvette, when it was made, 100 years before that, almost exactly, slavery was abolished.

[221] That's fucking crazy.

[222] That's insane.

[223] That might be one of the most bizarre things.

[224] A hundred years is not...

[225] My wife's mom died recently, and she was 97.

[226] Like, she was 100 years old.

[227] Wow.

[228] So from the time that she died to, like, realistically, she could have been alive while fucking slavery was happening.

[229] Oh, my God.

[230] Yeah.

[231] I mean, it's realistic.

[232] Like, that amount of age, you could have someone from 1965, and if they were that age, they could remember fucking slavery.

[233] Yeah.

[234] What?

[235] That's terrible.

[236] Oh, God.

[237] God damn.

[238] That's like when I was born, I was born in 67.

[239] So I was born two years after that.

[240] Like that is, to me, when I put it in those terms, like the generational terms, it was yesterday.

[241] People had slaves yesterday.

[242] And they still do some places now.

[243] I mean, this is just our country.

[244] You're right.

[245] We were just talking about nail salons.

[246] Something that we found out that's really disturbing is that, you know, there's like a dime a dozen nail salons in New York City or places like, you know, L .A., where it's really cheap to get your toes and your fucking ears painted.

[247] And it feels really good, by the way.

[248] There's all, there's this, like, there's a, wow, you're so, keep it go, you're so put together.

[249] By the way, you are missing a button and I can see your belly button.

[250] You just letting it breathe.

[251] Anyone have a problem with that in you?

[252] I don't have a problem with that.

[253] No, but they were, these nail salons, they bring in men and women from, you know, Thailand, Vietnam, and they're, like, indentured servants, and they make them work, and they don't pay them, and they live in these, like, apartments with, like, 15 people sleeping living in one room like it's it's it's guys how we're gonna fix this shit yeah how do they fix that it's a really good question i think in this like what you can control for sure first is in this country you know i mean things like uh what i we talked about before the show about my friend justin and all these little artifacts he brought back back from the congo like that guy's like changing things in like real time but like in this country i think there's a bunch of things that could be done that are just not done.

[254] And one of the major ones is they have to treat really poor neighborhoods, not like a static reality that has just, this is what it is, this is a really poor neighborhood.

[255] They have to put it like it's a problem, like a wildfire.

[256] Like here you've got a wildfire.

[257] What are you going to do?

[258] You're just going to let it burn and just get out of the way, or are you going to put it out?

[259] You have a problem.

[260] You have your electricity's down.

[261] You have a, you know, whatever, a water main broke.

[262] You have a problem.

[263] There's a problem.

[264] But those have such direct.

[265] You know, I mean, that's what's so difficult about.

[266] It's like, put water on the fire, it's going to go out.

[267] This is like, God, the implications of all that stuff is so crazy.

[268] I think they should admit, first and foremost, that a horrible crime has been done.

[269] In places like Baltimore, when they, you know, what is Michael Wood described it as institutionalized racism.

[270] And we talk about the zones where people lived.

[271] It's hard to argue against that.

[272] So, and then you have to feel, then you have to think about, like, what is the best way to help people out of this?

[273] what's the best way to engineer, like a more crime -free, safer, more educated and aware, and how these people feel like they belong a part of the rest of the city?

[274] Yeah.

[275] How to do that without engendering.

[276] I mean, it's something, like, it's really, I'm really glad we're talking about this because I think, like, this kind of thing like keeps me up at night when I think about, like, like, fuck, what can I do?

[277] What can we do, you know?

[278] You should write a poem about it.

[279] People want to hear it.

[280] Listen, motherfucker.

[281] I'll write a poem right now.

[282] That could be the sky.

[283] But I think, oh, sorry.

[284] But things like, Joe, like your podcast are...

[285] Your fucking podcast.

[286] You're like, you're fucking podcast.

[287] I'm serious, though.

[288] Like, this kind of thing is part of that collective effort is as giving people that first grain of thought of like, oh, wow, I never knew that there were zoning laws in Baltimore and inner cities that made it really hard for black people to get ahead in life, that they had no scholarships.

[289] You know, the changes that need to be, that need to take place, like we don't have some kind of solution, you know, like this think tank, but you have this platform where you can start talking about it and informing people.

[290] And, you know, when I get really worked up and think about, like, what can we do, you know, we have this band that is growing and getting attention.

[291] And, you know, you have these opportunities to sit here and talk to somebody like you.

[292] and people are listening and you know you hope that that starts more another train of thought that can actually make some kind of difference i don't know what it is i think people are already having these conversations and one of the things that they love about podcasts like this is because you know you go yes other people are thinking like this too like people are people are wondering how did we get to be grown adults with this chaotic system in place that was established by people who, you know, when you go back to the origins of civilization, even just in this country, which is like a really recent country, those people were monsters.

[293] Those people that came here on boats, they were monsters.

[294] Oh, man. The fucking, you were reading what Columbus had done?

[295] Oh, he's a dick.

[296] Oh, my God, there were monsters.

[297] What they did to those people?

[298] But the world was so, like, and this isn't, yeah, that's fucked up.

[299] I just read this book about the first, like, the first interactions between the West or England mainly or in Europe and Japan you know in the journeys that these people would have to go through to trade to make contact with these countries and I mean it's the way they looked at the world then was the way we look at the universe now it's just like I don't know what's over there I have no idea what's going on there's things jutting there's icebergs jutting out of the water and monsters that eat people like in cannibals and shit like that was real you know so it's like this super I think climate of defensiveness that we all at just as a person you grow up kind of trying to defend yourself against the environment at an extremely high level you know and then back then it always takes oh sorry go ahead there's just a layer of danger that at least where we are you know accustomed to so you're right going around the world being like holy fuck like where am i i don't want to get killed 50 % of my men just died like you know it's i don't know what i'm trying to say other than the context is so different you know it's it's a totally different world that's why it's insane to live our to have our civilization run the way it's run now just because it's been done done this way for 100 plus 200 plus whatever years like if we wanted to start out today how many people we think would accept the electoral college how many people would accept the idea that you actually just elect a representative and that representative can actually like he can choose to vote against the wishes of the rest of the state like you can you have like electoral college and then you have when each state has a certain amount of points that go in and you watch the, when you watch the vote, like, how many votes is what, and what's going on, the numbers are in, and what the fuck are you talking about?

[300] And then you find out that, like, especially during, like, the George Bush days, that they were still doing it with a piece of paper, with the hole in the piece of paper?

[301] Like, what the fucking, Chad?

[302] That was when, wasn't that, like, the 90s when the election was recalled because it was, there was, they had a recount.

[303] Well, to this day, people still believe Al Gore won.

[304] Yeah.

[305] There's a lot of people that believe he won.

[306] that they fucked him out of Florida.

[307] And there was also, like, the Republicans had did some weird shit where they, like, they crossed people's names out and banned them if they thought they were black, and then they would have to prove that they weren't the person that was off this list of, like, felons or, you know, like, sometimes people, Jimmy White.

[308] There's a lot of fucking Jimmy White's, man. You know, if you're Jimmy White and you live in Baltimore, and there's a thousand of the Jimmy White's, and 20 of them have been to jail.

[309] Like, good luck getting registered to vote.

[310] They're going to put you on a fucking list, and then you have to go to court to, like, make sure that you can vote.

[311] It takes too much time.

[312] They're not going to do it.

[313] No one's going to do it.

[314] They don't have the time for that.

[315] And they know that, and so they rigged it, which is just dark.

[316] Well, here's the thing.

[317] It's like, an American.

[318] The system is flawed.

[319] I mean, there's just no fucking two ways around it.

[320] I just don't think it needs to be here anymore.

[321] I think it's like one of those things like, you need to write books on paper with ink.

[322] You need a quiz.

[323] and you just sit by a candlelight.

[324] Oh, it's super antiquated.

[325] No, you don't need to sit by a candlelight.

[326] You don't need to write with a feather.

[327] You can talk, and your computer will dictate it.

[328] We're in a new world.

[329] And this world of, it's hard to get information across the states.

[330] So you need a representative.

[331] You want to make sure that every area, even the high population areas, they don't dominate the rural farmlands.

[332] So we need to have some sort of a system where people give a fuck about Iowa.

[333] I mean, that's really what it is.

[334] But that's only in place because it was all established when people were apes.

[335] They were raft riding apes with no cars.

[336] They didn't have phones.

[337] They didn't know where the fuck you went.

[338] When you went out of sight, if you went into the woods, they thought you were a dream.

[339] People didn't even know if they ever really did know you.

[340] They didn't know.

[341] If they fucking really knew for sure that you were coming back, they'd make a painting of you.

[342] Damn.

[343] Think about that.

[344] Yeah.

[345] They had fucking paintings.

[346] That was it.

[347] So was it.

[348] Remember the guy from the wall in the cave?

[349] Yeah.

[350] It's crazy.

[351] The wall in the cave was like an eight, it was like an eight track.

[352] Uh -huh.

[353] We were just in Old Town, we were just in Old Town, San Diego yesterday.

[354] After we played, we played in San Diego yesterday.

[355] God, I love it down there.

[356] It's pretty, you know, it's pretty charming, but they had like, you know what?

[357] I was so hungry and I was, like, walking by and passing, but they had, like, costumed, like, San Diego, like, settlers, you know, but they, like, looked like pirates.

[358] and they were walking through the streets and people were freaking out they were like well there was like two big buses of tourists going crazy like I was like I was like god damn it everybody calmed out it's just a guy with a cape on fucking slow your roll but it was it was funny well just kind of piggybacking in what we're talking about because I'm thoroughly upset with like Frontier shows like Deadwood and I'm watching Hell on Wheels right now.

[359] I just got into this show Hell on Wheels.

[360] What is that?

[361] It's on AMC and it's really it's really well written.

[362] I'm only in like season two so I don't know what happens after this guy's like I don't know if this is like a poor statement but it's still going so that says something about it's it's about this railroad that's being built the and like it's it's incredible to be privy to that that day and age where like it's so wild it's so lawless everybody is just like barely staying alive you're like indians are coming in killing you and slaughtering you you know you're like taken over their shit and and it's really um for some reason it like just cuts right to my soul like i can't i can't not be just totally enamored and you know enthralled by it and it like it's it's interesting to think about because that also wasn't that long ago no the the frontier days when the country focused solely on this one thing together, you know, building this country.

[363] Well, maybe not together because there are so many immigrants and so many people that were like isolated.

[364] But the point is that like it's interesting to witness everyone fighting their battle, you know?

[365] But there's these great parts of the show when they all have to come together for a common purpose.

[366] Like there's robbers robbing the train that gets them their pay.

[367] And if they don't get their pay, they're broke.

[368] You know, so there's like this interesting.

[369] interesting camaraderie and then their enemies and then you know and that's kind of how it is in real life you know which is which is interesting to think about because we're also different and you know when you have these efforts and it's I don't want to say common enemy because that sounds really negative but like when you're all working towards something with your differences that's when actual progress starts being made right that's always a good scene in the movie right yeah it's a good scene in a movie shake hand with the neighbors to fight the monsters yeah yeah over Mill Gibson yeah all of a sudden.

[370] It's a dude.

[371] Exactly.

[372] We're watching Terminator, fucking Terminator, too.

[373] Isn't that really why we get so angry and offended when people whine and bitch today?

[374] Because, like, you're like, good fucking Lord.

[375] You live in the best time ever.

[376] You know, like, society's going to shit, man. No, it's good to be humble.

[377] The world's fucking falling apart, okay?

[378] No one has any values anymore.

[379] I mean, no one values culture or art. Will you please stop saying that?

[380] Everyone.

[381] We're just dealing with overwhelming numbers of people yelling in a room.

[382] That's what it is.

[383] It's not that there's not as much or way more interesting shit in that noise.

[384] It's just there's so many fucking people communicating now.

[385] It's crazy.

[386] The whole rule, the whole game is a different thing.

[387] Everyone talks now.

[388] Everyone.

[389] Well, you know what's super cool is like getting people outside of their comfort zone and watching how they deal with it in like a way that like so like my folks um live in ohio pretty republican you know but they're really good people and they're they're fucking hilarious and they came out to five shows in colorado on this last tour that we had oh contact time oh my god it was so close to smoking weed yeah my dad so my dad just my dad just it was like a slow ginger backing out of the room it was so my dad my dad's got a super thick Cleveland accent And he's like, if I'm going to smoke pot with my daughter and it's legal, I'm going to do it.

[390] And I was just like, down.

[391] But you didn't do it, Ray.

[392] And I was like, well, it ain't no 70s dirtweed.

[393] I mean, I was like, Ray, look, Ray, you've got to take it slow, son.

[394] You've got to make sure a guy like that doesn't drown.

[395] But I want to tell you this fucking cool thing, which was that, like, you know, I love my parents so much.

[396] And they're really incredible people.

[397] And I've watched them grow in this way that, like, they're always changing.

[398] And they're, like, even though they have, like, their beliefs and my dad has worked as, fucking ass off his entire life, you know, and he's a, you know, middle -class business owner just retired, so he's got this, you know, this view on life.

[399] And then we put him in Colorado and he, they caravan for five shows and this, we had, we had lunch with this, um, with these incredible people, this, uh, this judge, this lawyer and these like, you know, kind of liberal, hippie, um, you know, politicians in Colorado.

[400] And we, we were sitting at a table with my parents.

[401] And I was just it was so cool to watch them interact with people that they would never hang out with and and then watch them sort of like lay back and have like just like absorb this information that's not something that they wouldn't that they would have on a regular basis and so they they left and it was it was such an interesting like I really felt our relationship changed a little bit after that you know and just watching them let lose my dad really wanted to smoke weed but it just never worked up no he did but he had to drive and that was responsible because he would have been fucked up Do you think, like, as you've gotten more successful and as you've gotten older, your dad can look at you not just as his daughter, but also as an adult human being where he respects your opinion.

[402] Oh, yeah.

[403] Yeah, no, we're very, um, we have like, no, we have a really incredible relationship.

[404] Wait, what did you say?

[405] I said, me'll say it's so subtle.

[406] Oh, you're such a dick.

[407] We're not there yet, but, well, yeah, we will.

[408] A meal ticket.

[409] A lot of this stuff No, I would love to take care There's nothing wrong with that Yeah, no, that's beautiful But I mean, you're a woman now And you're like a professional singer Of Like the utmost respect Like people love your shit So it's like he goes to see you And he sees her He sees his daughter on stage Whaling out these songs And people going nuts You don't think that must make him think Like, I gotta appreciate Like what it took to do that I have to appreciate what's happening here.

[410] Like, this isn't just my daughter.

[411] She doesn't just have to listen to me. She's not, like, I'm not right about everything.

[412] I can't be right about everything because I can't do that.

[413] No, we, he's, both my mom and my dad are really, uh, they, their support, like, is, is beyond anything I ever could have wanted.

[414] I mean, they, they, uh, I moved to New York City when I was 16 because, um, I used to be a, I was a catalog model.

[415] and I was doing really well and my parents were like I was starting my junior year of high school and I was really fucking driven like I had no inhibitions and I was like I want to go here and I want to go here and do you guys think I can do that and they're like yeah and they let me move there when I was 16 and it was fucking crazy and it honestly was one of those I think kind of pivotal moments where it it was their belief in the fact that I could do what I wanted because they were like I think you have something special, you know, which is like a really incredible feeling to have.

[416] And they were always behind me. And, like, yeah, we fight.

[417] I mean, my family's really close, so we fight hard.

[418] There's a lot of yelling.

[419] I grew up with a lot of yelling.

[420] She's got your dad high.

[421] That's why I'm hearing here.

[422] I know.

[423] I'm hearing a lot of fucking memory lane.

[424] I should have got my dad high.

[425] Yeah.

[426] Oh, my God.

[427] There's always a future.

[428] Yeah, this is going to happen at some point.

[429] It's going to have to.

[430] Yeah, you just got a baby fuck them.

[431] What did she just say?

[432] Excuse me?

[433] Slow, baby steps.

[434] Can we find another metaphor?

[435] It's baby steps.

[436] There was another word in there.

[437] Yeah.

[438] You know what I'm saying, though.

[439] It got across.

[440] Like, even though it sounds like an inappropriate statement.

[441] Uh -huh.

[442] But you know what I'm saying.

[443] Slow and sure.

[444] Slow and sure.

[445] Kind of innocent.

[446] It's a little buff.

[447] It's going to happen.

[448] I know that Ray was.

[449] had to think quayludes in the 70s.

[450] Well, that's a problem too, right?

[451] You start thinking, like, I don't want to be that loser again.

[452] You know?

[453] Take you down the tunnel, I'm sure.

[454] Well, you also realize, hey, this doesn't go with success.

[455] This doesn't help me get my shit together and not be psychologically terrified most of the day.

[456] Yeah.

[457] Looking around for my next fix of quailudes.

[458] It's nice to know that they were human, though.

[459] My mom used to smoke weed.

[460] My dad used to, you know, smoke weed.

[461] And like, well, we're going to, Ben, we're going to do this.

[462] Ben, can we get your dad high?

[463] I think that's a bad idea.

[464] Or it might be amazing.

[465] I don't know.

[466] My dad's 94.

[467] Oh, it would be perfect.

[468] What are you holding back?

[469] Cancer?

[470] What do you worry about?

[471] He's had that.

[472] He's 94.

[473] Come on.

[474] Well, because he's the home stretch.

[475] Man, maybe you're right.

[476] Ben, shit.

[477] Ninety -four is the home stretch.

[478] He might freak the fuck out.

[479] No, but he might like ease slowly into the great.

[480] beyond too.

[481] Like a year old man to go from pot to mushrooms.

[482] They say that mushrooms is a significant reliever of the stress of worrying about the expectations of any other.

[483] I'm so glad you just said that.

[484] I've never even thought about it with him.

[485] You know, but he has anxiety.

[486] He's freaked out.

[487] He's staring at the void, dude.

[488] For real.

[489] He's seeing his body deteriorate.

[490] All these things happen and I get the anxiety from him.

[491] It's a real issue with people, man. You know, when we were kids and we would see what we would call in quotes the angry old man. Get out of my yard, you fucking kids.

[492] And we always, like, God, this guy's got such a downer.

[493] Everybody has them.

[494] The dude in my neighborhood poisoned the cats.

[495] He was an evil motherfucker.

[496] Yeah, he put rat poison and killed a bunch of cats.

[497] I forgot his name.

[498] He's long gone, though.

[499] Of course.

[500] Of course.

[501] Yeah.

[502] Every neighborhood has, like, old people that are angry.

[503] And one of the things they're angry at is, like, the vitality of their vessel is a loading before their eyes and you just get caught up in this shit and that's when you meet old people that hate young people yeah you know that was Elizabeth Bathory I think it was is that her name I don't know one of the most evil women of all time she was a a royal oh let me pull this in New Orleans there was a crazy chicken New Orleans it was a long time ago so no it was in it was in like I want to say hungry isabeth um but she's like one of the most famous is serial killers of all time.

[504] Oh shit.

[505] And what she started doing after she started getting older, she started killing all these young women that were in the town and she would she would like bathe in their blood.

[506] Oh my god.

[507] She would torture them.

[508] Yeah, it was in the 1500s in Hungary.

[509] What was her name?

[510] Elizabeth Bathory.

[511] Oh, I know exactly you're talking about.

[512] She apparently was like attractive when she was younger and then as she got older, her That's like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White kind of Yeah, in a way It's a scary fucking story Because she was a royal She was a very wealthy royal person So she could do what she wanted She could get away with it Her punishment was just stay in your castle Yeah, she killed a lot of people Yeah It was like I might have been like hundreds of women Or something ridiculous Oh yeah it was hundreds And they just made her stay in her castle That was it That was the punishment I think she had like a special broom She had to stay in In her castle I mean, so it's kind of jail, I guess.

[513] But, I mean, she still had her money.

[514] She still had her servants.

[515] Like, that's kind of how, like, it is now just in a very different way.

[516] Like, people that are on top can get away with so much.

[517] Like, this fucking, have you seen the Robert Durst stuff on HBO?

[518] Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I know about it.

[519] He's gotten pretty far, one would say.

[520] And now he's kind of fucked himself, and it's looking like, hopefully fingers crossed.

[521] You know, he'll...

[522] Yeah, he's going to go to jail, right?

[523] He's in jail.

[524] Well, he should be dead.

[525] He will be.

[526] There are no time for you, dude.

[527] So apparently I was incorrect.

[528] She, at the end of her life, they put her in solitary confinement.

[529] So she was in a castle, but she was placed in solitary.

[530] She kept, she was kept bricked into a set of rooms with only small slits left open for ventilation and the passing of food.

[531] Oh, Jesus.

[532] She remained there for four years until her death.

[533] So she was psychotic.

[534] Anyway, and then they just put her in, like, a black room.

[535] She was a rich monster, is what she was.

[536] She was a privileged, rich monster.

[537] And at the end, she was such a monster.

[538] When they found what she had done, they found the bones of these hundreds of women, and they knew that she had been doing it forever.

[539] And the servants knew, and she'd bring girls in.

[540] And they would be screaming, and she would cut them up in front of everybody and tie them up and, like, fill tubs with their blood and throw their bodies aside.

[541] But she did it for a long fucking time.

[542] There was a woman in New Orleans, too.

[543] Famous woman in New Orleans is a house you can go to.

[544] She was just a member of the aristocracy.

[545] Wait, was that on American Horror Story?

[546] I don't know.

[547] But it's just like a famous story.

[548] God, it's so scary.

[549] We're going to be in New Orleans soon.

[550] You want to go?

[551] No, me either.

[552] No, I don't.

[553] Not interested in that.

[554] It's just so scary.

[555] It's so scary where people can get to if they have a position of ultimate power.

[556] If they have a slave.

[557] They have a, you know, if they have a royalty.

[558] Like, you've seen what's going on in Los Angeles?

[559] with all these guys from the Middle East that keep doing crazy things and they're getting arrested and they're claiming diplomatic community.

[560] Like that's lethal weapon.

[561] Bringing it back to lethal weapon.

[562] Sorry, but that was like a big part of that movie.

[563] Was that like the South American American?

[564] African guy?

[565] Oh, yeah.

[566] Yeah, that's right.

[567] How did you get that from?

[568] Benjian.

[569] I think he's playing these details from.

[570] Love that movie.

[571] There's been a bunch of them lately.

[572] One guy was, the, the two guys fled the country because they were racing through Beverly Hills.

[573] Oh, I did hear about that.

[574] And they tried to claim diplomatic immunity and they just scrored fucking douchebags from Q -A -T -R -I whatever the fuck that is one of those strange pronounce probably not even you know they don't even use the English language so like their letters are different than our letters so when we write something like really awful like Q -T -A -R -I or something like that that's our fuck up it's not their fuck up they don't even use our like why do we make it so you know why does it have to be such a weird fucking spelling the tools we got but that's wrong say it like what does it sound like bitch write it like that you know why's it so hard you know tell me tell me what it sounds like I'll write in my own language we need some new letters Joe we need some new letters we're fine we just okay just gotta stop talking to people that use phlegm oh man you're talking to a Jew you talk to a Jew brother do something then I don't know he's not listening to me I lost him I lost him kind of some sort of rant that was back when people were You know, you actually just said a lot of things, right?

[575] They had a lot of milk.

[576] They ate a lot of cheese.

[577] It was a big part of their diet.

[578] There was a lot of phlegm in the air back there.

[579] People were super flemmy.

[580] It goes back to what we were talking about before.

[581] Human voice, I can do some crazy shit.

[582] You can do some crazy shit with this.

[583] Have you seen there's a video of a girl who can sing two pitches at the same time?

[584] It's fucked up.

[585] Yeah, and she can move them in opposite direction.

[586] She can hold one, move another one.

[587] Like, she's just using her body.

[588] I'll look it up.

[589] How is she?

[590] Well, Jamie will do it.

[591] He'll pull it up.

[592] Put your head set on.

[593] There's a word for it.

[594] He'll find it.

[595] Well, there's Tov and Throat singing in Mongolia where they're activated all these overtones.

[596] It's crazy.

[597] And people are literally singing chords.

[598] Like, we can do crazy shit.

[599] None of us do.

[600] None of us do.

[601] None of us do.

[602] None of us do.

[603] Polyphonic overtones.

[604] Thank you.

[605] Come.

[606] Oh, ma.

[607] Singing, but more than one.

[608] Wow.

[609] I'm trying, guys.

[610] Do my best.

[611] So, do you think that this is something that she was born with this?

[612] ability or we're all we can all do it we could do it we all have the equipment it's like perfect pitch you know about what perfect pitch is no so perfect pitch is the ability to just recognize frequencies as per the musical alphabet so if i went like this b flat you would know oh that's g because i know the sound of that frequency and we're all born with this but for the most part it's not really useful so we just kind of phase it out right um but some people develop it or for some weird kind of developmental reason they hold on to it um and if you're musician super, can be super helpful.

[613] But this chick, she's just doing what we can all do, but she's just developed it.

[614] Let's hear.

[615] The lady and the cat, yes.

[616] She's kind of obeyed, too.

[617] You hear those pitches?

[618] It's incredible.

[619] It's amazing.

[620] I mean, it goes on for minutes, which she'll just be.

[621] The control she has is incredible.

[622] Oh, my gosh, she has an English accent.

[623] It's not English.

[624] In my mind, this.

[625] My mind is.

[626] She was trying to make a perfect.

[627] Wow.

[628] So is this something that she developed?

[629] Yeah.

[630] Huh.

[631] Do you think...

[632] You can do it, Joe.

[633] I believe in you.

[634] I don't believe in me. Interesting.

[635] Isn't it beautiful?

[636] Support.

[637] It takes us so far.

[638] Yeah.

[639] I just, that's insane.

[640] Yeah.

[641] Have you heard two of an throat thing?

[642] No. It's a Mongolian thing.

[643] It's a super traditional thing, though.

[644] Right now it's a novelty.

[645] because that doesn't sound as good as someone's singing awesome.

[646] So it's kind of silly.

[647] No, no, I can sort of agree.

[648] That was more like the introductory.

[649] That would be like you being like this is how you sweep the knee.

[650] I don't really know the terminology.

[651] Sweep the knee.

[652] She said growled.

[653] I'm sorry, Joe.

[654] Joe, look, our friendship is on a different level, but at some point I really hope you can teach me the martial arts ways.

[655] Would you teach us with you?

[656] Can you actually?

[657] I was sure.

[658] Yeah, I would show you guys some stuff.

[659] I don't have the time to spend to, like, really train you.

[660] But, like, but no, this is why I'm going to say this, because if you really want to learn martial arts, martial arts is not something that you're ever going to get good by dabbling.

[661] Sure.

[662] You're going to have to get obsessed with it.

[663] Well, that's fine.

[664] And then you're going to have to do it all the time.

[665] And I don't have the time to teach you all the time.

[666] I'm good at obsessing over things.

[667] But what I would is, what I would do is I would introduce you guys to some movement and some techniques.

[668] Great.

[669] And I would show you what your.

[670] bodies possible of if you understood where to put it and like simple stuff there's like simple stuff that you can do especially jiu jitsu jiu jitsu is the like one of the easiest ones for me to explain to someone because i can i can explain to you in a way that i get my kids to do it like my kids choked me all the time trying to teach trying to teach my kids to them trying to teach my kids to utilize their hips properly to throw their weight into a kick like there's a snap with your hip that shit's dance dude i do you know that it's amazing i really way it totally is and that's like you give me the poem face well it is in a way it's it is in a way that like we were talking about pool is in a way or she's movement sorry movement we'll call it when it's nice right when it's nice when it's nice to look at yeah like when someone's dancing it's nice to look at when i think about guitar that's a huge reason why i want to take martial arts is because of how it would impact playing the guitar playing an instrument doing anything yeah all of a sudden your efficiency see your movement changes and you're capable of different stuff.

[671] Yeah.

[672] I think everything is like that.

[673] Teach me how wise.

[674] I think if you watch like a little kids gymnastics class, I take my kids to gymnastics and I watch these little kids bounce around.

[675] And it's very interesting watching like someone nail something.

[676] You know, like there's these girls that are older.

[677] You know, they're probably like 12 or 13 or something along those lines.

[678] And they're like just starting to figure out how to do back flips and they just starting to figure out how to land gracefully and then there's girls that are even older than that like maybe 16 and 17 that are just wicked you're watching them flip through the air and you're like Jesus fuck yeah like and there's some young boys that do like these crazy ring exercises where they can stretch their arms off straight and they're fucking they bring their feet up above their head they flip over and they do a handstand on it's nuts right there's something about watching someone nail movement you know it's just like It's inspiring.

[679] Yeah, it's just like, oh, shit.

[680] Someone's shredding.

[681] It's someone doing a drum solo.

[682] And it impacts everything.

[683] So I love to play drums.

[684] And I have, I played a lot when I was a kid, less now.

[685] But I have basically, I narrowed my practice down to one thing, one thing.

[686] And I feel pretty fine about it.

[687] You know, I feel like with that one kind of concept, I can get where I want to go, which is have any of my limbs do what any of my other limbs can do.

[688] You know what my left hand can do it.

[689] My right foot has to be able to do it.

[690] My left foot can do it.

[691] vice versa, you know what I'm saying?

[692] You have to be apart.

[693] It has to not matter.

[694] You have to be able to make the sound you want to make.

[695] Nice.

[696] And when I was doing that, I started, I would notice myself, all of a sudden I'd be eating with my left hand.

[697] You know what I mean?

[698] I wouldn't even think about it.

[699] I started shooting basketballs with my left hand.

[700] I didn't even know.

[701] Were you making the shot?

[702] Yeah, deal with that's fucking, no, I mean, I'd miss the shot horribly, but.

[703] You know, I think of drums, kind of as a person who doesn't know how to play any musical instruments, I think of drums as sculpts, This is what I think.

[704] I think when you're drumming, like when I watch a heavy -duty drum solo, I think half of what this guy has to do is get away from whatever restrictions his body has on his movements.

[705] Like half of what a drummer is doing.

[706] It's so physical.

[707] There's so much speed and coordination involved that half of what you're doing is heightening your ability to move in like the exact way you wanted to move to create a certain sound and a guy like I can't do it you know if I if I brought them I mean I could eventually I'm sure learn how to play drums what I'm saying like if I brought someone into my world and made them do something that I do physically all the time like like an odd thing like play pool or something like that if they didn't know how to play pool it'd be real awkward and goofy and their body wouldn't move right but if they know they know where the fucking stick is going I don't know how to do it like I see it like I see this half of what he's doing is trying to cut down on the amount of resistance in his body listening to his mind to make the sound.

[708] It's the same thing with any instruments.

[709] I guitar, violin, or whatever.

[710] It's just on a micro level.

[711] You know what I mean?

[712] It's just more contained.

[713] And that's why I think martial arts, dude, once we do that, we'll fucking take over the world.

[714] Can you come on the road with us?

[715] Yeah, and we'll give you jump lessons.

[716] That'd be hard to do, but we could do more shows like we're doing New Year's Eve.

[717] That's how we plug.

[718] That's how we plug around this, bitch.

[719] If you guys want to go to that show, there is not.

[720] many tickets left i'll just tell you right now it's not even uh october what is it september 28th or something today what is it 28th um but it's it's a crazy show it's uh honey honey it's um joey dyes duncan trusel r a shafir and me at the will turn in los angeles new year's in god we're ready we were here for the end of the world that didn't happen i think maybe because of us whoa good work show i think the show with you me and stanhope and d 'n hope and It might have been so epic.

[721] It was some valiant efforts.

[722] You said this podcast changing things.

[723] I think the universe said, let's give these dumb monkeys a chance.

[724] A couple more years.

[725] Dope, end of the mind calendar show.

[726] Oh, man. But it was so fun, and we said, how we got to do more of those?

[727] We fucking never did.

[728] We never did.

[729] We didn't, dude.

[730] We didn't for three years.

[731] It's nice to have something to wait for.

[732] It's been simmering.

[733] Yeah.

[734] That marinara is going to be ripe.

[735] Yeah.

[736] No wine before it's time.

[737] Remember Orson Well?

[738] Just do those commercials I don't remember that Yeah, see, you don't remember You have to I remember no women before the fight Rocky The legs, the legs Oh yeah But you probably saw that on YouTube I saw it in the movie theater Back when there was no newspapers Back when people were saying And messages were on pigeons and shit What?

[739] Oh my God They had smoke signals If something was wrong That's when I saw it That's amazing Lots changed, yeah What were you saying that you saw on YouTube You were talking about something That you'd seen on YouTube We were watching Spal and Gray Yeah, Spalding Gray See I saw that guy guy on television actual television and I think he like he did movies he did some short films too and like great yeah I think he did like movies of his storytelling that's what that he brought Jonathan Demi shot this swimming in Cambodia thing was the film that's right so it was in the movie theaters in my mind for whatever reason it was on HBO or something like that I guess that's not entirely correct I think it actually was a movie theater I was trying to I was trying to awful the sound of the cube I was, the cubes.

[740] Refill, guys.

[741] I don't know.

[742] Yeah, I think it's about time for round two.

[743] Let's do that.

[744] You know, we were talking about old people earlier, and it's interesting because it's freaking out of alcohol.

[745] There's so many things.

[746] Oh, Joe, you never put the glass in the ice.

[747] Bartending rule.

[748] Okay.

[749] Hey, it's your bowels.

[750] It's the glass breaks.

[751] You'd get new ice.

[752] He's got a solution, but say when.

[753] That's good.

[754] Thank you.

[755] So many lessons.

[756] There are solutions.

[757] I think about that.

[758] I think about old people a lot when I get, like, you wake up and you have a stiff neck and you're like, and you're miserable and you're like crotchety because your neck hurts or your shoulder or whatever from the van or whatever we're doing on tour.

[759] And then I'm like, this must be what it's like to be old.

[760] No, except like a hundred times worse.

[761] But a hundred times worse.

[762] Like you have ailments all day.

[763] You might not have pooped for four days.

[764] You know what blows my mind is the balance thing.

[765] So my dad has neuropathy.

[766] So that means he's losing the feeling of his feet.

[767] Let's before we get into that.

[768] Is that...

[769] Are you having another drink?

[770] I was going to say that weed.

[771] Oh, no. Ben, no. Ben's going to be bad.

[772] Going in.

[773] Okay, yes, I'm going to ease up on this.

[774] Weed is like cocaine for Ben.

[775] Dude, don't do.

[776] And cocaine is like cocaine for me. Dude, don't dodge.

[777] Here's a fun fact.

[778] Can I tell you guys something funny?

[779] Wow, Ben pours himself a drink.

[780] Ben, pour your drink.

[781] I'm good.

[782] You want to cheers with that?

[783] You don't have any booze in there, dude.

[784] Ben, I can drink.

[785] Ben, you're making everybody looks terrible.

[786] Okay, all the people.

[787] right together.

[788] Don't be scared.

[789] You totally being peer pressure.

[790] But it's working.

[791] I know.

[792] You and that gal travel together.

[793] You got to find a comfortable medium.

[794] No, but who do you think is driving?

[795] Great.

[796] You're not kidding.

[797] Listen, we have time.

[798] There's plenty places to eat around here.

[799] Hey, cheers, guys.

[800] It's great to be here.

[801] Yeah, please.

[802] Salute to have you guys.

[803] Salutes.

[804] So recently.

[805] Back to my dad's health problems.

[806] Back to the old people.

[807] They're about to kick off into the next dimension.

[808] Oh, boy.

[809] Did you hear about those fucking people that they were on that ghost hunter show?

[810] I died.

[811] They murder suicide.

[812] What?

[813] The husband killed the wife and killed himself apparently or allegedly.

[814] Wait, wait, wait, in real life?

[815] In real life.

[816] They were on a ghost hunting reality show?

[817] One of those ghost hunting reality shows.

[818] Oh, God.

[819] And there was like a standoff, you know, apparently there had been like some physical violence, domestic violence issues between the two of them before.

[820] Working partnerships is.

[821] And I think the.

[822] The woman was trying to get away from the guy, allegedly.

[823] I really shouldn't talk about this because my amount of information I had about the actual, the actual, you know, physical case that the murder or suicide is very small.

[824] But because I think they're still investigating it, right?

[825] You know the story, right?

[826] You posted about this, didn't you?

[827] Really, really, really recently, a couple days ago.

[828] Oh, my God.

[829] Yeah, terrifying.

[830] But, I mean, how crazy is that?

[831] These people, you think about what a ghost hunter is.

[832] At the end of the day, besides a bullshit artist, what a ghost hunter...

[833] at the end of the day what a ghost hunter is is a historian of tragedy wow you're always involved in some story where there was a mass murder I don't not believe in ghosts I got some crazy stories man but I don't not believe in ghosts but the idea what a ghost is a ghost hunter is right if you're a person who's going to a psych ward okay and you're waiting in the basement for ghosts you go into a place yeah there's some fucked up energy there Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[834] But you're also constantly concentrating on murder.

[835] Yeah, that's constantly.

[836] Like, for that...

[837] And the tension involved in the expectation of a TV show, dude, if I don't...

[838] If it's not entertaining, we're going to lose our job.

[839] None of them are entertaining, so that's not valid.

[840] They're non -intertaining shows.

[841] Here's every ghost hunter's show that's ever been.

[842] Night Vision in the basement.

[843] What was that sound?

[844] Did you hear that?

[845] Cut to commercial.

[846] That's every one of them.

[847] That's every one of them.

[848] I don't know if we were speaking about frequencies earlier, but I think we were maybe the singing thing.

[849] But there's a theory this dude had that low frequency sound like crazy low, below 40 hertz, which is just like, if you can't you, military experimented with it.

[850] Like dog sounds, like whistles?

[851] This is below that.

[852] Yeah, they were saying buildings that produce this kind of frequency and machinery that does this, there's a correlation between haunted houses and these places because this kind of frequency can induce hallucination in people, can induce really erratic behavior.

[853] It's crazy.

[854] Well, no, same what there's like, there's like love frequency.

[855] There's the, what frequency did Hitler have, he would read?

[856] There's like the four, four, four -fetarian frequency?

[857] What is it?

[858] Vegetarian?

[859] That was what Hitler was, right?

[860] Vegetarian?

[861] Sure.

[862] He was.

[863] Was he really?

[864] Oh, yeah.

[865] Oh, yeah.

[866] He was also an artist, and he had mommy issues.

[867] Poor guy.

[868] You feel like if you got to him early in life, he could prevent it a lot?

[869] I think he.

[870] Did you met him, like, when you guys were both 20?

[871] Bro.

[872] We would have sang I'm Angel of Death And you would have been like, you know what?

[873] I feel differently about the things I was thinking about earlier Maybe what you're going to do now Oh That's a good one for Hitler Right?

[874] You love that song, man, thank you.

[875] I love that song.

[876] I love you guys.

[877] It's cool to be friends with someone that you're fans with Fans of.

[878] It's bizarre, you know?

[879] Right back at you, buddy.

[880] It's bizarre, you know?

[881] We thought about you a lot when we were in Montana.

[882] We were in Montana for about two weeks Looking for the big foot?

[883] Well, naturally.

[884] That's good.

[885] No, we were, it was so beautiful.

[886] But, like, you know, wilderness is everywhere, and everybody's like, you know, if you go up here, you got to, like, be careful.

[887] Like, we were in Wyoming.

[888] We were in Yellowstone.

[889] And, you know, we heard so many stories, so many bear stories and things that, like, really freaked me out because, I mean, I don't have anything to defend myself.

[890] I would like to go into nature.

[891] You got your width, girl.

[892] Yeah.

[893] Well, you're right, though, about being cautious about nature.

[894] For the most part, the reality about animals, for the vast majority of instances, animals don't want to have anything to do with people.

[895] They want to get the fuck away from you.

[896] Well, that's not true.

[897] But when we were in Yellowstone, so I heard all these stories about people, like, you know, people get killed by Grizzlies a few times a year, and we were in Yellowstone, and literally a week later, there was a hiker that got nabbed by a grizzly bear.

[898] You know, it just depends on, it's like just bad timing.

[899] And I never, ever want to put myself in that position of that.

[900] Like, I'll go camping here.

[901] That's fine.

[902] You know, I'll go camping and like Joshua Tree.

[903] It's bad timing in a way, but it is also a lack of an understanding of the environment for the most part with a lot of them.

[904] Sure.

[905] But although one of the guys that got killed recently was a very experienced hiker, so I might have to take that back.

[906] You could fuck up and zig when you should have zagged, and the biggest fear is running into a mother.

[907] Sure.

[908] A mother bear with her cubs.

[909] Well, that's what I'm talking about.

[910] Like, I can appreciate nature in a way that is, it's so.

[911] fucking beautiful and like we drove through the park and it was incredible and but like I don't feel like I need to sleep there and and like I can walk along the river by the car and I feel fine and I know I might sound like a total fucking chotch right now but but I really like well you the thought of being torn apart by an animal is utterly terrifying to me it's a very intelligent approach yeah there's a beautiful thing I think about being in that environment and experiencing that kind of caution and fear to you're like holy fuck I'm a little bit more connected now because yeah I do actually have to be wary of something threatening to me as opposed to just emotionally you know what though I swear when you're there that's not what you're thinking about because the instances are so small and the reality of the beauty of it all which is which the vast majority of the experience is beautiful the vast vast vast vast vast vast majority the times that I've encountered bears in the wild bears don't want to have nothing to do with people they want to have you seen grizzlies and stuff no I have not That's the ones I'm talking about.

[912] Those are the ones that you have to be the most worried, but you just got to be prepared.

[913] If you bring guns, you know, you always have to be prepared.

[914] But you can shoot a grizzly and it'll still eat you.

[915] But there's also a lot of like...

[916] You have to shoot a grizzly with the right kind of gun.

[917] And you have to have more than one person and you have to be ready in case that happens.

[918] But most of the time, you don't shoot them.

[919] You shoot at the ground and you scare them off and they're like, fuck this.

[920] And they just get out of there.

[921] And then they go about, you can enter into the natural world in most situations and get out without having to do anything where something dies where it didn't have to die.

[922] But there are occasions where, like, I know a guy who went hunting in Alaska, and they got charged by a grizzly bear.

[923] They wound up having to kill the grizzly bear.

[924] You know, the grizzly bear tried to get their kill.

[925] It was actually a mother.

[926] They just didn't want to have anything to do with her.

[927] But she just decided she was going to make a rush at them.

[928] And I've seen it on video too.

[929] I've seen them making rush of people.

[930] And you're going out to kill something in the wilderness, right?

[931] You've got to pick where you go, honestly.

[932] That's what I'm talking about.

[933] Super dangerous to go where Grizzlies are.

[934] That's exactly what I'm talking about.

[935] The most scary places.

[936] Glacier National Park.

[937] They used to have that show on, I don't know, it was Discovery Channel, whatever it was called The Hunt.

[938] It was one where the guy from Metallica, James Hatfield from Metallica is apparently a big -time hunter, and he hunted, like, he's hunted all over the world, and he's, or at least a bunch of different species.

[939] There's all these photos of them.

[940] and he hosted this show where they were hunting for grizzly bears it was like a really controversial show because you don't really eat grizzly bears I mean you can but they do not they're not endangered but they're not doing great you know they're not like sort of they know how many they should kill and they know how many they can kill they like they have like this estimation that wildlife biologists just put off man just loosening his pants up Ben was taking his pants up oh we're in the eagles I thought we were safe here.

[941] But for the most part, they don't fuck with people.

[942] For the most part, they don't want to have anything to do with you.

[943] For the most part, they'd rather get away.

[944] They don't want to get shot.

[945] They just want to stay away from people.

[946] Well, so when we were up there, you know, we're like hanging with the locals.

[947] And, of course, like, I'm not from those areas, so I have all these questions about what's it like out there in nature.

[948] You know, you live in Montana, and, you know, we met this guy who was just, and maybe he was being dramatic.

[949] But he was telling me all these horrifying stories where I'm like, why would anyone, want to put themselves in that position and I think it's a matter of like you said being fully aware of the environment having that that preparation you know but it's also the stories people tell honestly like you're in that area and there's like a whole culture of bear fear and things like that and at least in certain areas but it's just like that's what we talk about we talk about how this one guy who got killed in Yellowstone but it's like it's I don't think it's the kind of threat I don't know why I'm reacting so strongly to to it right now, but I feel like it's not the kind of threat that...

[950] It's because you smoke the cocaine weed.

[951] I don't think so.

[952] It's not the threat right now, right here.

[953] You know, when you live in Los Angeles, the grizzly bear is not the threat.

[954] But you're smart to be aware that it is, it's on the table if you're out there.

[955] Well, Joe, I love nature.

[956] I love to fish.

[957] Fishing is one of my greatest passions.

[958] When I have the time to do it, I fucking love it.

[959] I'm learning how to fly fish.

[960] It's really fun.

[961] And I have all these goals of these places I want to go to, but there are places that scare me. Like, I don't, I don't want to be fishing.

[962] fly fishing, you know, for salmon, and there's a grizzly bear across the river.

[963] Like, that kind of thing is like, and that's fine.

[964] I respect that.

[965] I will stick with the area that I feel safe in because I don't have a rifle on me. I don't have Joe Rogan with his, you know, a cute target practice.

[966] You know what I mean?

[967] So I think about this a lot because...

[968] Well, you wouldn't want me, first of all.

[969] You'd want someone who would be teaching me. It'd be fun.

[970] Whatever, dude.

[971] You'd want someone like some of my friends that have been lucky to be friends with to take me to the woods, like Cameron Haynes or Steve Ronella, the guy who hosts that meat eater show.

[972] Like having friends like that, then that's like, that's the best way to be introduced.

[973] Do you think they want to go fishing with me and just like hang out?

[974] I'm a lot of fun.

[975] We've talked about that a bunch of times, like we should do shows where take people for the first time that have never been hunting because it's such a bizarre experience.

[976] Even if you don't shoot anything, just being in the woods in Montana makes you go, oh my God.

[977] Like it makes you realize like, wow, life is very different than what we've accepted we've accepted that life is cities and life is you know whole foods and life is well here's the thing nature if you want to talk about like going out to nature and life nature is everywhere like we live in a city but nature is is everywhere it's in the fucking middle of your sidewalk you know there are birds there are crows there are hawks i mean there there's just so many like it's everywhere we live in the middle of it coyotes mountain lions well we also it's like we don't see nature a lot so i think sometimes we look at nature like i mean an old girlfriend that we haven't called in a long time.

[978] We only have this like really elevated idea of who she was and then you get back with her and you realize this bitch doesn't give a fuck about me. It's like that because when you're on the top of a mountain and there's no cell phone service and there's animals creeping around you're like this is a fucking dangerous place to be standing still.

[979] Yeah, it doesn't care about you.

[980] Can I say something though?

[981] There's nothing wrong with that.

[982] Yeah.

[983] It's beautiful but it's mean.

[984] I think that that your, that girlfriend is here though.

[985] Like I I think there's this sad misconception with the way that people treat, quote -unquote, nature when they drive out to a national park, as opposed to when they treat their urban setting, which is there is nature here.

[986] But people don't think about the fact that they throw their trash out the window, and there's ducks in the pond right next, you know, all this stuff.

[987] Like, you're still in nature, even if you're in a city.

[988] You just need to treat it that way.

[989] Well, the idea that we would look at the city is not being natural itself.

[990] Respectfully.

[991] The city not being natural itself is bizarre.

[992] Oh, of course.

[993] It's all bizarre, the throwing of litter on the ground.

[994] Like when people wantonly open up their window and throw their garbage out the window on the highway.

[995] You're like, what?

[996] That guy just throw a bag.

[997] Oh, man, whenever we see it on the road, I just want to fucking punch him square in the throat.

[998] It's so bizarre how many people do it.

[999] Well, they'll open up a window and throw a bag out.

[1000] It didn't happen.

[1001] You're like, what?

[1002] Yeah.

[1003] You just throw a garbage, a Wendy's bag.

[1004] Yeah.

[1005] People are stupid.

[1006] Or just like, but especially like a little people.

[1007] piece of paper you know like like some fucking top of something you know even gum you spit your gum out the window gum is really bad birds eat gum they think it's like a piece of food and then they die first of all fuck birds no listen joe on the way out joe you have chickens you love birds you love your farm fresh eggs listen this is what it's really important if you're going to talk to me you can't take me seriously ever i don't it's super important cats are this is our position I remember when you told me about cats and you were like cats are awful because they have the thing in there they have the parasite Well I didn't say it that way And then you have the cutest cats in the world And you love them so much I too love them They're sweeties That's a cute cat We just heard a new cat term Called making muffins You know when they need Yeah They're so fucking needy You like that too?

[1008] Making muffins My cats are fucking needy Yeah I would say it's more like pizza dough Okay, that works.

[1009] It works.

[1010] When you call it pizza dough?

[1011] Just looking for reaction.

[1012] Joey Diaz had the best bit about that, about doing Coke with his cat, and his cat was doing that paw thing.

[1013] He had this hilarious bit he used to do about doing coke with his cat, but I'm looking at one window.

[1014] He's looking out the other one.

[1015] So I'm so psyched.

[1016] Cats are kind of freaking out a lot of the time.

[1017] I think I kind of see that.

[1018] You know what?

[1019] They're nature's cleanup crew, man. And the only reason you're alive because you're way bigger than that.

[1020] that's it If you're small than a cat It would fucking eat you You can't have You could have a dog And a pet gerbil And you could teach that dog To not fuck that gerbil up You could teach that dog Hey dude listen to me man The gerbil off the menu And the dog will be like Got it, got it Don't kill the gerbil I want it really badly You know How do you think dogs are with cats Like if dogs grow up with cats They're totally cool with cats I don't know man But if they don't grow up with cats they're fucking dangerous to shit around them they'll kill cats all the time right so they make these distinctions cats can't get there won't make the agreement we don't know we do know try having a pet rat and a cat in the house leave watch what happens you're gonna come over to a when did you have a pet rat Joe when did you have a pet rat Joe and you did the test with your cats I want to know I've never had a pet rat but I do know that cats other than like a few breeds of like super fluffy Persians that get to that weird non -aggressive state that is these weird They're just bred to cuddle Yeah they're genetic aberrations Cats are fucking predators They're predators They're predators It's amazing But you know then you see these videos Of like huge African lions In like these reserved areas of you know Of Africa snuggling with the guys that weren't there I've seen it on YouTube It can happen if they're fed well and they're taken care of well and they're raised well it's very obvious that there's some guys that know how to make a friendship of the lion you're starting to look fucking tasty but it's it's not that much different than the idea of a wild dog like there was a few instances like i think there was one where a couple was killed in georgia i want to say it was like a couple of years ago by wild dogs there's a pack of wild dogs they killed these people because people had let their dogs loose and the dogs just never came home or maybe they didn't feed them or and they became feral or they were raised outside we've seen that in the south a woman in Canada singer yes yes yes you told us about that Joe I did oh okay she was killed you didn't read about that Joe told us you might have read about it after I told you about that we we stayed at a winery on Saturday night actually Joe it was a really sweet Rogan fan this this fella that was like you guys need a place to stay after the show and of course we do you know you gotta save money.

[1021] So there's photos of you guys naked online now while you were sleeping.

[1022] We have never been naked.

[1023] Everyone's going to keep it on.

[1024] We're never nudes.

[1025] That's great.

[1026] If you just operate like that, no one has nothing on you.

[1027] No sex, no fun.

[1028] Don't talk and you never say the wrong shit.

[1029] Trust me, it's the way to go.

[1030] Play it safe, guys.

[1031] No talking, always dress.

[1032] But we were We all slept in this fucking RV, and it was awesome, but they were like coyotes.

[1033] And it was great.

[1034] It was amazing.

[1035] But you can hear, they were right outside.

[1036] And it was so loud, and they had this incredible, like, you know, it's funny, but I thought, honestly, I thought about that story, about that singer that you told us about, about the girl that was hiking.

[1037] It's terrifying.

[1038] But we've got a pack.

[1039] On the road, we got a pack.

[1040] They're not going to fuck with us.

[1041] I would tackle coyotes for you, Ben.

[1042] You wouldn't even have to.

[1043] I carry a taser on me most times.

[1044] And a knife.

[1045] No, I left it in the car, like in a really weird exposed place yesterday.

[1046] Okay, let's not talk about, it was one time.

[1047] Taser lying on the fucking seat, almost zaped myself.

[1048] First of all, you have to turn it on properly, so you're fine.

[1049] Maybe you left it on, I don't know.

[1050] I didn't.

[1051] You can't be alone.

[1052] Well, yeah, that's it.

[1053] I thought you're on the same team.

[1054] I mean, you can be alone on the same team, but...

[1055] She's talking about the Taser thing.

[1056] Sorry.

[1057] Yeah, if you're alone, they're going to say, okay, there's a weakness here, we can exploit it, we're going to fucking do this.

[1058] And the girl, apparently, was really small.

[1059] She was like less than 100 pounds And they were like We could do this We could just fucking do this And they did They did Killed her We watch a lot of planet Earth In the car In our travels And you know There's I'm still thinking about it No it's tough Do you think that the way that you think about That stuff has changed Now that you have kids It's like oh fuck It's just accelerated But it was always there It was always bizarre to me How dangerous The natural world is and how it's right there.

[1060] And how dangerously we fuck with it.

[1061] You know, like we manipulate shit.

[1062] Like I said, I'm from Ohio and there was, this is fucked up.

[1063] Check this shit out.

[1064] Okay.

[1065] In the Cleveland Metro Parks where I'm from and where I, my family resides, there's obviously a deer population that's out of control like a lot of places and people get sick of hitting them with their cars.

[1066] So they thought it was a good idea to bring coyotes in to deplete the deer population, which they're not native to that area.

[1067] So there's There's coyotes in Ohio now, which is so fucking weird.

[1068] It's not natural.

[1069] And, like, you know, people start losing their dogs, and they had, like, they don't think about those things.

[1070] And I remember hearing a story of a, I don't know, I couldn't tell you, but a good family friend of ours was telling the story that her young children were playing in the backyard, as they always did.

[1071] And she looked outside the window, and she said there were two coyotes in their tree line.

[1072] She ran outside, and they're, like, her little kids were just playing there.

[1073] But people aren't used to that.

[1074] You know, it's not like you live in Montana, and you know that there's bears there, and you know that there's wolves.

[1075] It's like this new introduction of people manipulating with nature, and it's not cool, man. Well, there was a lot of times people are trying to write wrongs.

[1076] Like, that's what they were trying to do with the wolf population, trying to write the wrongs, because they did poison wolves.

[1077] They used to be more wolves.

[1078] but I'm not exactly sure if you really want to be safe and you really want to have a city and civilization I don't think you want a large population of wolves I think it's probably super important if you want to keep this whole people thing going on at the level it's going on now where we can get new Samsung phones every six months I really don't think we can get these fucking wolves around like this shit is the whole reason why we invented cities in the first place The city people forgot.

[1079] Did you ever see that video about how wolves changed the...

[1080] Yellowstone Park.

[1081] The rivers?

[1082] Yeah.

[1083] Like, they do serve a purpose, Joe.

[1084] Yeah, but the purpose is an odd one.

[1085] The purpose is that of a predator.

[1086] Like, this idea that one form of balance, but not necessarily.

[1087] Because you don't want lions in L .A. You just don't.

[1088] But there are.

[1089] But there's not.

[1090] But no, they're cougars.

[1091] They're smaller.

[1092] There's more scale.

[1093] But a large lion, like a 600 -pound lion.

[1094] Like what if a few of them started living in L .A. And we're like, hey, we have to do with it, man. You know, whatever they eat skateboarders.

[1095] We would have to, like, accept the fact that they're a natural part of nature.

[1096] They have to eat too.

[1097] We'd be fuck that.

[1098] We would kill those lions, okay?

[1099] We would kill them all.

[1100] If the lion ate your friend, okay, if you came home one day and a lion was eating Ben, what kind of an attitude do you think you'd have towards that lion?

[1101] He'd be very upset with him for her.

[1102] Can we get a little more detail on the scenario?

[1103] Because...

[1104] Well, this is what happened.

[1105] We got some crazy, hippie president that decided to...

[1106] The only way for us to have total compassion is to open up the borders to all plants and animals.

[1107] I'm just trying to work on the balance here.

[1108] I'm not an extremist.

[1109] Coyotes everywhere you look, killing kids, too many kids.

[1110] Fuck it.

[1111] We have to be a part of the solution.

[1112] And he just brought in...

[1113] Reditors to take out people.

[1114] Up to date are you on Terminator?

[1115] Oh, my God.

[1116] We should end this podcast right now.

[1117] That would be the perfect way to end it.

[1118] I'm not at all.

[1119] I've missed a boat.

[1120] Come on.

[1121] We can fill you in on one and three if you're interested.

[1122] Well, there's a new one.

[1123] We couldn't find two anywhere.

[1124] Which one is the new one?

[1125] What is it just Blu -ray?

[1126] The new one just came out.

[1127] You won't sign out yet, right?

[1128] It's not out yet?

[1129] I don't know.

[1130] No, I thought it already happened.

[1131] A small.

[1132] There's five of them.

[1133] Calisi from Game of Thrones.

[1134] I heard it.

[1135] Calisi.

[1136] Oh, wow.

[1137] The really pretty girl, the Mother of Dragons.

[1138] Yes.

[1139] That's pretty cool.

[1140] Wow.

[1141] Powerful.

[1142] I'm not on speaking terms with The Terminator.

[1143] But the problem is, I could go back and watch those movies.

[1144] There's a lot of movies I need to watch.

[1145] But what really bothers me about the Terminator movie in particular is that we might have, like, real Terminators.

[1146] That's what we're talking about, dude.

[1147] That's why I wanted to bring up the topic.

[1148] 50 years.

[1149] Yeah.

[1150] It might be a real problem.

[1151] Yeah.

[1152] People are talking about it.

[1153] Elon Musk, Bill Gates.

[1154] Yeah.

[1155] Do you hear about that?

[1156] Stephen Hawking?

[1157] They signed this letter to be like, we cannot have AI in on, but it's weird because they sign this letter.

[1158] We can't have autonomous weaponry.

[1159] Right.

[1160] Oh, Jesus.

[1161] And then, but they're also, at least Elon Musk is, but a bunch of these guys are investing in AI.

[1162] So it's like, How are you drawing that line?

[1163] Because they probably want to be ahead of it, first of all.

[1164] And if you're in the tech business...

[1165] Hedge in their bets.

[1166] But if you're in the business, like, if you look at...

[1167] I mean, I'm just assuming that if you're a tech guy, like part of what it is is about innovation at its highest form.

[1168] Like, what's innovation at its highest form other than artificial intelligence?

[1169] It's like the highest form of innovation.

[1170] Sure.

[1171] The creating of a life of some sort of sentient being out of plastic and metal.

[1172] All this shit is crazy, 3D printing.

[1173] What's the same discussion as the 3D printing stuff?

[1174] This dude, Cody Wilson came out and was like, I'm going to print guns because someone's going to.

[1175] You know what I mean?

[1176] And then like, so you look at it and you say, well, it's something that we can't change.

[1177] If it's something we can't change, then what is it?

[1178] So where are we going to put our bunker?

[1179] Oh, God.

[1180] Anyway, we're tiring Joe.

[1181] Jo's...

[1182] Joe's...

[1183] No, just some terrified.

[1184] It's scary.

[1185] Do you yawn when you're so scared?

[1186] Yeah, I got so scared of yon.

[1187] No, it's not that I'm tired of hearing about it.

[1188] It said, I'm scared.

[1189] No, it's crazy.

[1190] I think society, we hang on a string all the time.

[1191] And we just, we keep fixing that string.

[1192] We're really good at keeping the string going.

[1193] But we assume that the string has to stay, and we know that that's not really true.

[1194] And that's why we love movies about where the string breaks and the madbacks.

[1195] Like, ah, shit got crazy.

[1196] Where's the water?

[1197] Fuck.

[1198] You know?

[1199] There's no law.

[1200] Oh, there's no rule.

[1201] You have to fight to the death.

[1202] I mean, it's Barstow, you know.

[1203] Oh, it's the worst.

[1204] If you go to Barstow right now and it's fenced it in for 10 years, it would be Thunderdome.

[1205] I am.

[1206] I mean, there's spots where you can manipulate, take off, cut them off to the rest of the world, and they would be like that.

[1207] And there's places that are like that now.

[1208] We keep saying that.

[1209] You know, go to Africa.

[1210] We've got to go to Africa, Joe.

[1211] I think if you went to Africa, I go, there's parts of Africa that are probably crazier.

[1212] Exactly.

[1213] There's a great vice piece on this.

[1214] place in Monrovia in Liberia where it's just like it's a total waste land people are shitting in the streets the governor or some high political official came down and shout on the beach just to be like I'm one of the people you know like this is how we're doing it that's what he did yeah it's crazy votes well that was that before Ebola broke out because it was like people that that was part of the like shitting caused that was the well yeah it's it's it's all the unsanitary conditions and stuff people living in filth that's part of it I don't know but but you know I really feel fucking really strongly about this Do we I was just looking at the clock The clock is dope You really feel strongly About You know We're talking about Like hanging by a string And stuff like that And you know Oh God the government sucks And all this stuff And it's all this is true There's there's You know you could click a button And just kill a lot of people And But at the end of the day While we're here Um There's some really beautiful things To experience Like your shows comedy shows and you make people feel good and well flowers what about waterfalls are beautiful I look I'm fucking going down the list here let me have my moment and you know there's all these incredible things and you know something that we get to see on the road like we'll have like our scheduled honey honey shows where you buy your tickets and then occasionally we'll have these really cool opportunities to play like a concert series that like small towns will have where they're not they most they have no idea who we are which is awesome because Because we'll go, we went to this town in Dillon, Colorado, where literally, like, I would say maybe 10 % of the people were there to see us.

[1215] But the rest of the people were there because they lived in the town, and they wanted to have their entertainment for the night.

[1216] And so there was all these different people.

[1217] They were, like, really young families and really old people, and they all brought their lawn chairs and beers, and we were in this outdoor amphitheater on this lake.

[1218] There's, you know, I don't know, like five or six hundred people there.

[1219] something like that and it like it was such a cool experience because there was this collective experience of all these people that came together for whatever they needed at the time that wasn't like you know it it wasn't about us we were offering what we could to the situation but at the end of the day it was really beautiful because it was all these people that were having this experience together in their own way and it was different races demographics and and like it was just we had this moment and it was it was really cool and I think right now when the world is in this really funny place that's really scary and we can put energy into how scary it is and all that stuff but we can also put energy into these um experiences together where we're trying to figure it out you know and like that I think that's really important yeah I think most of what people are fighting over has nothing to do with most of the people yeah you know most of the people in the world what do we want to do we want to just hang out with our friends go to dinner yeah we don't want to take over the oil fields most of the people just want to have a good time most of the people there are a few people who like really want to push that whole making money envelope to the point where we want to invade countries sure that's 90 % of what's wrong with us is it's not most of us most of us most of us and I think this is what we're able to do now that we weren't able to do before is most of us can talk to each other we can you know like you can get whatever your message out whatever your message is out in a way that you've never been able to do before so if you want to do it in a song if you want to do it with an e -book like you can get your message out a poem a poem don't tell anybody it's a poem tell me it's a rap song I love you Brownie points if you're white Oh my God Right But I think I mean This is the best time ever Like people that's Oh the world's falling apart No I don't Damn it I think it's always been fucked Because it's filled with people Like the world's always been fucked And when But guess what People are fucked And we're the best things on earth Okay Turtles can suck it Oh damn It's like as light as it is dark.

[1220] You'd want to fucking kill yourself inside a week.

[1221] If there was a million living beings on this island.

[1222] I was one with these beings.

[1223] You would commune with them.

[1224] Please.

[1225] You'd shoot yourself right in the face.

[1226] If I gave you two bullets, one of them was for the turtle that you were going to kill to stay alive for the first day and the second one you're going to put right in your fucking mouth.

[1227] Damn.

[1228] You're like, I'm not living with turtles for the rest of my life.

[1229] Not doing it.

[1230] What did the turtles do you do to you?

[1231] Do you have saracha?

[1232] You just boil it.

[1233] I need to know.

[1234] You just have to bang rocks together to light up dry leaves.

[1235] Wow, you've thought about this.

[1236] You're going to have to cook it just to make sure you kill the parasites.

[1237] It's going to taste terrible.

[1238] My God.

[1239] That's a pretty awesome thing that food tastes so good.

[1240] You know, you're talking about the context of things, how the world's changed.

[1241] Shit didn't taste this good.

[1242] No. It tastes too good a lot of the times.

[1243] Food is an art form now.

[1244] Like, there's some art forms that have probably been around for a long time with food, right?

[1245] Like a lot of dishes.

[1246] There's some, I mean, we Ethnic dishes, right.

[1247] We started to do some work with farmade, which has been really cool.

[1248] And learned a lot about, you know, the whole fucking structure of, you know, corporate food, corporate, literally, like all the hormonal shit.

[1249] And, you know, you're fine.

[1250] I mean, you've got your, like, moose and bear in your freezer.

[1251] Like, your meat section is covered.

[1252] It's delicious.

[1253] Dang, glad you guys enjoyed it.

[1254] It's so good.

[1255] But, you know, the majority of the food that people eat in their grocery stores, you go to Safeway or you go to fucking Piggly Wiggly.

[1256] That shit is toxic.

[1257] That shit is awful.

[1258] It is God fucking awful.

[1259] I don't think it's that bad.

[1260] I don't think it's that.

[1261] Honestly, here's the thing about meat.

[1262] Like, it's just like protein and water.

[1263] If you ate that every day, your shit would be fucked up.

[1264] You'd be like, why do I have acne all of a sudden?

[1265] You would freak out.

[1266] I'm not convinced.

[1267] I don't know.

[1268] Because this is the only reason why I'm saying this.

[1269] But it's a shitty protein.

[1270] Well, I don't know if it is or it isn't.

[1271] See, I don't understand.

[1272] I can see that.

[1273] I just want to be honest about it.

[1274] Yeah.

[1275] I don't know, like, what you actually get off of a piece of meat.

[1276] It seems to me, like, logically, I am attracted to, like, a darker, richer meat because I feel like it would be a healthier animal.

[1277] And not logically and essentially, too.

[1278] There's something biologically being like, no, this is better.

[1279] But then that's why it's kind of.

[1280] counterintuitive because like a lot of their like really fatty cuts of meat are the ones that people enjoy the most you're right that's why they like that why you how you say it I don't know Japanese version of beef where they but wait wait are you talking about fatty versions of meat that have been processed to be that way or the animals there's the appeal like why would they're I guess it was because like fats fats have always been super important because people it was hard to get food yeah so they help you digest too they do a lot of shit but it also like you really want it like the attraction to things that of a lot of calories.

[1281] Like, that was one of the most important things where people were starving to death all the time.

[1282] You had to get that fat.

[1283] Like, fat was important.

[1284] Yeah, and big was, like, key.

[1285] Big was like, we got to be big.

[1286] Right now, you know, it just shows you how these things change.

[1287] Now, bigger is kind of fucking is over.

[1288] You know, it's like over -consumption.

[1289] People are just so big now, too.

[1290] Like, there was a thing on TV the other day about a kid who was a senior in high school.

[1291] He's the biggest football player ever.

[1292] Whoa.

[1293] And he's a senior in high school.

[1294] He's seven feet tall.

[1295] 440 pounds and he's 17 years old Jesus that's incredible it's insane like we're we're gonna go right to the fucking moon we're gonna scrape the moon with our heads they're gonna just keep getting bigger that's insane that's insane people gonna be too big that's insane people they're gonna run on oxygen and start dying because they're gonna pass through they're gonna get to a point a thousand years from now we're we're a thousand people know more about that that kids diet and like what kind of supplements he's taking and stuff like that.

[1296] Right.

[1297] What did he eat?

[1298] If it was some crazy lightning strike of like natural phenomenon that would be incredible.

[1299] And I'm totally open to that, but there's so many things like, you know, like with processed meats, like girls are getting their periods at 11.

[1300] Are they though?

[1301] Yeah.

[1302] I mean, that should have shocked up.

[1303] What creepy fucking guys standing there with a clipboard?

[1304] Have you started to bleed yet?

[1305] Oh my God.

[1306] Margaret?

[1307] Margaret, let me see your panties.

[1308] Oh, my God.

[1309] Where do they keep Margaret?

[1310] Who is this guy that's asking these fucking period questions?

[1311] It better not be a guy.

[1312] It better be a woman.

[1313] I hope you have a woman doctor that's not a fucking creep.

[1314] God, I hope it's not some creepy.

[1315] You know what's funny?

[1316] The first time.

[1317] The first time.

[1318] You got arrested today?

[1319] No. Well, you got sentenced to, this is a terrible story.

[1320] This guy got sentenced to only one year of house arrest, and he pleaded guilty to fucking eight of his patients while they were under.

[1321] Oh, man. Man, kill Billing it.

[1322] Oh, that's terrible.

[1323] He only got a year of house arrest.

[1324] That's horrifying.

[1325] People thought he was going to get 20 years.

[1326] What's his name and social security number?

[1327] I don't even want to, Google it.

[1328] Let's find him.

[1329] It's awful.

[1330] Oh.

[1331] I was going to, I was going to talk about an inappropriate story, but I'm not.

[1332] Oh, too late.

[1333] Like the first, okay, fuck.

[1334] Here we go.

[1335] The first time I had like a gynecology thing.

[1336] when I was like I was like 18 and it was a male doctor and he was so hot that I like did not know what to do with myself I remember being like wow that's a scene in a porn it really was incredible I had my pelvis zapped with an electric needle by a beautiful dermatologist not the same thing but what if the guy did the guy look at it and give you a thumbs up that's when it would have been really weird no you should tell them about that about what the guy I wasn't there.

[1337] I can't.

[1338] I wasn't there.

[1339] I can't accept while you are still in the building.

[1340] She's going to go to the restroom.

[1341] She might not want to talk about that.

[1342] That might be how she's trying to get out of it.

[1343] Good point.

[1344] We can't hold her to the fire.

[1345] That's true.

[1346] It's a vagina thing.

[1347] That's consider it.

[1348] If a girl's talking a story about a vagina, you have to either, it comes or it doesn't come.

[1349] You can't like go, come on.

[1350] Come on.

[1351] Come on.

[1352] happy or no oh boy so you're having a dick problem hmm what's the deal the dick problem that like old people get or the dick problems that pedos get what kind of dick problem we're talking about here fella I had a band -aid on my dick once vaginas are infinitely more sensitive to criticism you know like you can make a joke about a dude having a stinky dick but if you make a joke on stage about a woman's malodorous vagina, you would be a terrible person.

[1353] They won't have anything to do with you.

[1354] Even if you're telling a true story, if you did tell us true story about a woman's stinky vagina, you would have to really word it well.

[1355] You feel like it's a double standard?

[1356] Yes, I do.

[1357] Let's work away, dude.

[1358] You've got to start doing it.

[1359] You've got to leave the charge.

[1360] This is my thing.

[1361] I don't think necessarily that all double standards are there because of inequality.

[1362] I think some double standards are there because we want to quantify things instead of just looking at them as being completely different.

[1363] You tell a dude is dick stinks and he goes, all right, I'll wash it.

[1364] But also, why, like, it's really got to be serious if you're not up close to it and you...

[1365] It might be stinky as fuck.

[1366] It's very possible for you dick.

[1367] What are you guys talking?

[1368] If you're lazy, you don't clean your dick, it's very possible your dick can be stinky as fuck.

[1369] The difference is...

[1370] Are we talking about uncircumcised penises?

[1371] I mean, I'm sorry, I just start back from back.

[1372] Stinky Dix versus stinky vaginas.

[1373] That a man saying a woman's vagina is stinky is like a terrible thing to do.

[1374] It's like there is a double standard because it is different.

[1375] It's a different experience.

[1376] It's a more powerful statement.

[1377] To a woman?

[1378] Yes, because if you tell a dude that his dick stinks, he goes, all right, I'll wash my dick.

[1379] Like, that's it.

[1380] You know, once you wash your dick, it's clean.

[1381] I mean, it's not going to continue to stink.

[1382] I think some dudes will freak out about it.

[1383] They'd be like, what do you mean?

[1384] What's my movie?

[1385] Those guys are babies.

[1386] Most guys are just going to wash their dick.

[1387] Okay, you're right.

[1388] For a woman, you're dealing with an internal flora issue.

[1389] Right?

[1390] That's the issue of having any sort of a yeast infection.

[1391] It's actually like it's life forms living in your cuder.

[1392] That's way more.

[1393] Same with dudes.

[1394] I mean, doesn't your diet affect the smell of your jizz?

[1395] I've been thinking about that.

[1396] I'm not for the last hour?

[1397] Oh my God.

[1398] Well, we know it affects the smell of your pee.

[1399] Right?

[1400] If you eat asparagus, you can smell your asparagus while you're peeing.

[1401] I got to assume that makes it into your calm as well.

[1402] Oh, yeah.

[1403] It only makes sense.

[1404] Wow, I go to the bathroom for like two minutes.

[1405] You brought up the gynecologists.

[1406] I did.

[1407] So don't go throwing that around.

[1408] You're right.

[1409] You're right.

[1410] You guys want me to go pee again?

[1411] We went right into the toilet and started talking about stinking.

[1412] Dix.

[1413] That did happen.

[1414] Fuck, that is not the direction I like for us, Joe.

[1415] Dude, it is what it is.

[1416] It is what it is.

[1417] Live with it.

[1418] It's a funny thing.

[1419] But I just think that that's why it's funny.

[1420] It's like it's a ruder for some, whatever biological reason.

[1421] It's a ruder for a man to mock a woman's stinky vagina in a cruel fashion.

[1422] Do you think that's out of insecurity?

[1423] I think that's like a degrading thing that you want to like, just sort of devalue a woman's special place it's very possibly but it's also equally negative on the other side when a woman mocks a man for having a tiny dick it's not the size of the that is actually like I swear by that lies but that's not too honestly someone's a but hold on but a micro dick if a guy has a micro dick if a guy has a little tiny dick like there's guys that have like microdicks like that and if a A chode, like a full -on chode?

[1424] Joe, what are you about?

[1425] A tiny one, like a little one.

[1426] I'm saying like a little terrifyingly small, little dick.

[1427] And if someone mocks that...

[1428] Well, what if he's really funny?

[1429] Well, that'll help.

[1430] But it's less offensive to make fun of a stinky pussy than it is to make fun of that.

[1431] Because I think a stinky pussy can clean up.

[1432] That's right.

[1433] That's right.

[1434] All you need is some acidophilus in your life, girl.

[1435] All you need is some wild kimchi.

[1436] Oh, my God.

[1437] You need some raw foods.

[1438] Damn.

[1439] Take care of your flora.

[1440] I hope that my mom and dad never listened to this.

[1441] Mom.

[1442] They probably will.

[1443] They've been mentioned none of that.

[1444] You know what's up.

[1445] These chairs are fucking dove, dude.

[1446] They're not bad.

[1447] They're very good.

[1448] They really do help with the posture.

[1449] Ergo Depot.

[1450] Shout out to Ergo Depot.

[1451] They sent them to us.

[1452] I was skeptical at first because I had one before that.

[1453] It was like super uncomfortable.

[1454] It was like one of those knee ones where you go on your knees.

[1455] You know what I'm talking about?

[1456] You're on your butt in some sort of a weird way.

[1457] And you go on your knees.

[1458] Tough to get used to get used to.

[1459] But they do make you keep a good posture.

[1460] And then I got this other one that was like a saddle within this dude from Ergo Depot.

[1461] Hall it at me all right.

[1462] That's awesome.

[1463] And he said, those are not good for long term.

[1464] It's like you're sitting at a desk for a long period time.

[1465] You need something like this.

[1466] And he sent it to me, and I was like, but it looks like a regular chair.

[1467] And then you sit in and you go, oh, it's called Capisco.

[1468] That's what it's called.

[1469] You sit it and you go, oh, yeah, I have perfect fucking posture.

[1470] Well, it's really interesting how they've done all these studies on your posture.

[1471] Like yours specifically, you know.

[1472] News grenade, people are watching you and listening.

[1473] But like the way your body language expresses, like there's certain chemicals.

[1474] Don't get crazy.

[1475] There were studies like, if you sit like this, you know, there's this like power stance.

[1476] That's the Dick Ford.

[1477] Sure is.

[1478] It's called the Dick Ford.

[1479] Is it?

[1480] Are you just being?

[1481] No, when guys are, so I go, I put my feet up on the desk and I go dick forward.

[1482] No, I'm not even joking.

[1483] It's like guitar too.

[1484] It's like a move.

[1485] It's like a horse dance.

[1486] But if you were to sit like...

[1487] Oh, is that true?

[1488] Really?

[1489] Yeah, yeah.

[1490] Wow.

[1491] Wait, really?

[1492] Why did I not know that?

[1493] Why did I not know that?

[1494] What do you mean?

[1495] He's being serious.

[1496] You're serious?

[1497] Yeah.

[1498] I'm going with it.

[1499] Seriously, you're not.

[1500] It's serious now.

[1501] So, Dick, Dick Ford.

[1502] Take it down the river, Ben.

[1503] Let me have this dream.

[1504] Or why don't we all just fucking sit back?

[1505] But if you sat like this?

[1506] Well, Dick Ford, especially if a guy has like maybe some sort of an alligator -skinned cowboy boots on and he puts his feet down on the ground.

[1507] some sort of an office chair, you know what I'm saying, some sort of a risky environment, and then puts his hands behind his heads, leans back, and goes, well, how much do you like this job?

[1508] No, but literally, I'm about to go dick for.

[1509] There's like chemicals released from that physical position.

[1510] Like, you're fucking, like, shit's going on for you.

[1511] Like, you're getting more powerful by sitting like that.

[1512] Like Thor.

[1513] I can feel it.

[1514] Thor with his hammer.

[1515] Yeah, you're just like Thor.

[1516] Hammer's out.

[1517] They say that about smiles, right?

[1518] that like when you smile it actually it actually has an effect on your brain it gives you a certain amount of happiness now my problem with that or mean it I think mean it's possible let's not sell ourselves so short yeah that's much better that way how about fake it till you mean it oh damn oh shit that's that's so beautiful oh my god we used to sing a song we went deep we went deep wasn't even that good no definitely not that good People at home are going, what the fuck?

[1519] That's a fucking t -shirt that we should sell.

[1520] Fake it till you mean it.

[1521] That's fucking awesome.

[1522] Yeah, we're just enabling sociopaths.

[1523] Have no emotions, pretend you do.

[1524] They'll grow.

[1525] They'll grow.

[1526] Water them with the tears of others.

[1527] Here's honey, honey, with their fucking new hit.

[1528] Your tears taste delicious.

[1529] Yeah, this is a slam poem.

[1530] It's even worse than a regular poem.

[1531] Have you ever been to...

[1532] I'm going to say it in a voice that's not mine.

[1533] Always here and always on time.

[1534] Top of the mountain.

[1535] Bottom of the gully.

[1536] I've been here before my friend Sully.

[1537] And that didn't have to rhyme, dude.

[1538] No, it's good.

[1539] That's the problem.

[1540] You ended strong.

[1541] I come from a strong immigrant background with a very good work ethic.

[1542] You've got to make some shit Ryan if you want to call it a poem.

[1543] All right, you can't just say a bunch of shit.

[1544] The lightning.

[1545] hits the thunder i'm on the street why is it well i don't know my father doesn't love me as much as he loves his new wife as i get in my car and i wish my tie wasn't flat but it is deal with it i can't i try i like dude i'm casting a spell on me my alarm wakes up i wish my life was that interesting back to the grind wow i don't know it was a dream it was a dream it's still gone And then I light my cigarette.

[1546] And everybody.

[1547] But you kept, you just captured us, dude.

[1548] You captured us.

[1549] Then you have one single tear that's just like, you light your cigarette in this one single tear.

[1550] And everyone's like, oh, my God.

[1551] Everyone has a bono.

[1552] In your acting days.

[1553] No, but I cry like a bitch, man. I'll fucking cry.

[1554] People get mad at me because I cry so easy.

[1555] But I just get, I don't cry for sad things.

[1556] It's a weird, I'm a weird person in that way.

[1557] Oh, you cry for happy things?

[1558] I cry for, like, powerful things.

[1559] That's fucking awesome.

[1560] That makes sense.

[1561] Like sad things, sad things.

[1562] make me really sad, but I mean, I can absolutely cry from them.

[1563] But a lot of times, like, involuntary tears come from really happy things.

[1564] That's beautiful.

[1565] Like, I'll be talking to somebody on the pod, like Rhonda Rousey when she was in here.

[1566] I love her.

[1567] She was talking to her about her dad and her, you know, her dad committed suicide, man. And this chick that she was fighting in her last fight Oh, I saw it.

[1568] Said something that she interpreted as, like, she might kill herself like her father.

[1569] and you know whether or not that was exactly with that girl man it didn't matter because that's what ronda saw and that's and then she went out there and beat the shit out of that girl and i was like that was fucking crazy but it was it was it was so uh it was so crazy it was like this weird moment in history there was like this weird feeling for a minute that i was in this place that there's going to be a point in time it didn't matter if the girl wasn't the right opponent for her like it didn't matter where the girl was like uh in her League.

[1570] What it was was what had happened in this country where this chick had come overseas and just beat the fuck out of this girl on pay -per -view.

[1571] It's a girl.

[1572] And then, like, so you have this crazy sport that everybody resists.

[1573] Like, oh, my God, it's barbaric, it's masculinity, it's most toxic left.

[1574] The biggest star is a hot chick.

[1575] The biggest star, the biggest stars, sweat this.

[1576] The biggest star in the craziest, most violent sport the world has ever known, is a beautiful woman, who's highly skilled, who is a living Charlie's Angels movie who flies to other continents to beat the fuck out of inches.

[1577] We're talking about a girl.

[1578] A girl who, if she decided to starve herself, she could easily be a model.

[1579] She's beautiful.

[1580] Instead, she chooses to get in a metal tube and fly to South America and beat the fuck out of some chick on pay -per -view.

[1581] And when you're there and you watch that happen and you watch this paradigm shifting moment, like, for me, I was like, whoa.

[1582] Did you cry?

[1583] Oh, I almost did then.

[1584] I almost did when I was interviewing her and the tear leaked out a little bit when I had her on the show, and I talked about it.

[1585] But I almost cried when I was talking to Connor McGregor.

[1586] I was talking to Connor McGregor after he beat Chad Mendez when I was talking about Ireland.

[1587] Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, Joe, that was the show, Ben, in Vancouver.

[1588] You guys were in Vancouver while I was happening?

[1589] Wait, he fought, the guy was from...

[1590] Chad Bendez?

[1591] From California, wasn't he?

[1592] Yes, yes.

[1593] We literally, Joe, we, we, watched that show from a sports bar we didn't know who was coming to our show in Vancouver and I said to Ben I was like I'll bet a bunch of people from this bar are coming to our show and it was weird because it wasn't a market that were really you know it's prevalent in and I'm not even joking you like 95 % of the people that were at that show were Rogan fans and they were watching that fight so it was weird like I you'd be amazed at how many parallels are like we all have these prejudices against people.

[1594] Like people that would be into like M .MA wouldn't be into your kind of music.

[1595] But you're totally wrong.

[1596] We're all totally wrong.

[1597] We're all scared.

[1598] We're all like, you know, we were talking about earlier about like the natural world.

[1599] We're all like terrified of all the dangers of like, you know, when people didn't have the internet and they didn't know who the people were that were coming in boats.

[1600] Yeah.

[1601] We have less and less to fear.

[1602] We're more and more like each other.

[1603] And we've realized that more and more on a daily basis.

[1604] Sure.

[1605] So, like, when the mergings of our sort of fans is, like, perfect example of that.

[1606] Yeah.

[1607] Like, universally, the people that I introduced to you, I don't want to pull you guys out.

[1608] But universally, they love you.

[1609] I mean, you guys are awesome.

[1610] It's not like I go, hey, these guys suck, but they're cool, they're fun to hang out with.

[1611] If I tell you, I love them, like, I'm telling you these guys, there's something going on.

[1612] But you're telling people in your community a lot of the time, they're really open people, too.

[1613] You know what I mean?

[1614] that plays a big role.

[1615] We didn't think we could be.

[1616] We all thought that we had issues with each other.

[1617] We were all thought like that somehow or another, you couldn't be athletic and also like books.

[1618] No one would want to talk to you about those books.

[1619] Sure.

[1620] You couldn't be into documentaries but also be into martial arts.

[1621] You couldn't do that.

[1622] You couldn't do that because you were either like a meathead or you were a nuanced person who wasn't worried about physical activities.

[1623] Like you couldn't be both.

[1624] Dude, like people, it's so, I love that you just said that.

[1625] because like I play the fucking banjo and violin and people think we're a country band but we fucking rock like Ben plays the electric guitar and it gets crazy and like but then we'll be sensitive and then we call ourselves honey honey honey is it fair to say you guys are a Donnie and Marie for 2015?

[1626] Oh Joe She's a little bit country She's a little bit Nice hold on let me write that down That was it good Fuck you I'm sorry I forced that one in there too It wasn't even good It was forced it in there They were the first fucking They were kind of like a hybrid band They're brother and sister though Did you ever see the SNL with They're Mormon?

[1627] They just know that How dare you?

[1628] I'm so sorry They're so Mormon Remember dude from desert noises Dude from desert noises His aunt knock or his You want to know how Mormon they are I'm gonna turn you on to something I'm gonna turn you on to something Huck me up Jamie pull up the album of the Osmond brothers There was an Osmond brothers album where they did, where they all showed their planets that they have.

[1629] Planets?

[1630] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1631] When you die if you're a serious, fucking hardcore moment, Mormon, you get your own planet.

[1632] Whoa.

[1633] Oh, that's pretty cool.

[1634] Wait, what are we doing here?

[1635] Why are we getting their fucking planets?

[1636] It's like them and it shows like Mormon mythology on the album, like planets and shit.

[1637] Wow.

[1638] Damn.

[1639] How does it go?

[1640] What is it, Jamie?

[1641] It's, uh, you get a planet when you die.

[1642] If I'm out of line, please.

[1643] I mean, if I paraphrased.

[1644] No, you did great.

[1645] But I'm pretty sure.

[1646] The truth is coming.

[1647] Because I remember somebody showed it to me, and I almost blacked out.

[1648] Because I was like, is this real?

[1649] I'm going to say something.

[1650] You know what I'm not embarrassed about it.

[1651] I don't know.

[1652] I couldn't name a song.

[1653] Donnie Marie.

[1654] Oh, they had a lot.

[1655] They had a lot.

[1656] They had a lot of hits.

[1657] They were very nice.

[1658] Like, Donnie especially, he's like a really nice guy.

[1659] It's very friendly.

[1660] He's like a super, super, like, nice, easy -going guy.

[1661] That's awesome.

[1662] Like, when you're around.

[1663] And, you know, like, when I was a kid, I used to watch the Donnie and Marie show on TV.

[1664] So, like, to meet him in, like, real life, I was like, is this real?

[1665] Totally didn't seem real.

[1666] Like, I'm meeting Donnie Osmond.

[1667] I'm like, what?

[1668] This can not really be Donnie Osmond.

[1669] There's no way.

[1670] I really hope after this we can boot up the SNL with Louis and Marie Dreith.

[1671] This is, it's called the plan, apparently.

[1672] Which one?

[1673] From Seinfeldon?

[1674] Yeah.

[1675] Sorry.

[1676] Louis.

[1677] we got some sort of an issue with our but did they have like a huge radio hit at them yeah they had well donnie marie had a big time show they had a big television show wasn't it was more about the show it was like a one night a week variety show if i had to remember like correctly dig deep into my memory banks but they would have like singers on and they would sing he uh she would sing i'm a little bit country and he would be like and I'm a little bit of rock and roll yeah totally yeah like that's us dude we're kind of working towards that is my brother um I think that I think it's the plan and there's the inside of the album that has all sorts of like uh it says going home with that hand oh the hand that holds the earth is that what it is that's the inside yeah going home going home interesting is that their home but whatever it is that Mormon thing whatever it is it made them made Donnie Osmond a very nice person.

[1678] Wow.

[1679] It's very nice.

[1680] That's kind of the...

[1681] Is there a message in here?

[1682] I don't know if it matters.

[1683] Don't know if it matters.

[1684] I think in the end, being a nice guy like Donnie Osmond is more important than knowing exactly how stars are made.

[1685] Knowing how planets are formed in real life, it doesn't really apply to the real world because it's a super slow process.

[1686] And if you dwell on that, you don't have any time.

[1687] There's no room.

[1688] You can't fit that in there?

[1689] A planetary question, can I ask him?

[1690] Yeah.

[1691] Okay, so I'm reading this book.

[1692] It's talking about all this gas, all this matter, just boom, colliding together and falling into orbit of the sun and becoming this planet that we're on.

[1693] Right.

[1694] So why is there heat, why is there a ball of fucking fire in the middle of it?

[1695] That's a super good question.

[1696] Come from.

[1697] No idea.

[1698] Me neither.

[1699] I think it's like a fairy dust and leopard.

[1700] Come.

[1701] Love it.

[1702] That's what I'm talking about.

[1703] The fairies and leprechauns, they each fuck a separate tree.

[1704] And it forms a crystal.

[1705] The death.

[1706] I'll take it.

[1707] And it takes six Texans to change a light bulb.

[1708] Because the one, seven, one has to watch the crystal.

[1709] We don't need light bulbs.

[1710] We like candles around here.

[1711] I like to go old school.

[1712] Right horses, light candles.

[1713] Burning wax.

[1714] We drank whiskey.

[1715] And we shoot intruders.

[1716] They're dangerous.

[1717] It could be threats.

[1718] I just became really self -aware of everything they were talking about.

[1719] This might be the most fucked up we've ever been on this podcast.

[1720] No, I feel so bad.

[1721] Equally fucked up.

[1722] Us?

[1723] No, because last time I smoked wheat and I was like, boo, just flatlined for like a couple minutes.

[1724] So when you smoke weed, it makes you introspective?

[1725] It makes me...

[1726] Like an introvert?

[1727] Very introverted.

[1728] and tired like I don't know I'm not good at it but also I'm not but it makes me sleep which is great because I have a really hard time sleeping so I think that's something I have just like chemical reaction to it I've tried dude I've fucking tried listen I hear you you guys are so good at it you shine you really shine I totally understand where you're coming from who the fuck knows what it does I mean I know people that I know people that can't drink coffee if they have a cup of coffee they feel like they're going to have a heart attack they just can't do it they just for whatever reason coffee's really weird like I'll I'll have a cup and I will just like peek and then I'll cry like if I have too much I'll crash and they get really sad but but like for like the two hours I'm just super productive like emails and shit everybody does that are you making fun of me no no no yes if I knew how to put you in a headlock I would do but I think I totally making fun of you but not for real that's that's the one you do like a karate chop How do you protect the nose?

[1729] You want to turn the wrist, turn the back of the hand towards the back of the head.

[1730] Now the other way, his head.

[1731] The person you're choking, spin your hand, like left pinky down.

[1732] Left pinky down.

[1733] Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.

[1734] And make like a karate chop with your hand.

[1735] Yeah.

[1736] Make a karate chop thing, like you would karate chop like straight hand.

[1737] Right, now, that's what you're sneaking behind their neck.

[1738] Yeah.

[1739] And then you squeeze down on that.

[1740] That's how you do it.

[1741] I can fucking do this, man. I got this.

[1742] You do it, the hand on the back of the neck goes into like a karate chop position.

[1743] like this and what that does is it gives you maximum leverage fucking take it you can do it if you do get under someone's arm you could totally choke a guy to sleep 100 % there's a lot of women like if it came to the difference between like a woman who's like a kickboxer defending herself with the same amount of experience in the gym as a woman who's a jih Tijuana black belt defending herself it would be on my in my opinion I would favor the woman like her ability to dominate a much larger opponent using only jiu -jitsu skills over especially for women I think I think because jiu -jitsu is the most technical and the most positional and leverage based of all the martial arts and it's sort of like I attribute it I compare it to like getting in an argument with someone who doesn't know English very well like if you were having an argument with someone and they were like really shitty at English and they were just slowly you'd be like what what the fuck are you talking about dummy what do you say spit it out stupid like it was a mean person you fuck go to herself right well that's the same way with jiu jitsu like if you knew the language of jiu jitsu so well and you had some dumb dude that was trying to grab you'd be like yeah fuck you and like you'd be like some crazy ninja chick on his back choking him that is absolutely feasible whereas like with striking the real problem with that a lot of women faces the actual physical size of their bones.

[1744] Like when you're punching people especially, like unless you have your hands fully wrapped up like in, you know, a good boxing wrap and then a padded leather glove on top of that, it's hard to just punch people in the face unless you have a good, sturdy build.

[1745] We're not like in a, I'm not like in a position where I'm going to have an actual battle with someone yet.

[1746] You don't know that.

[1747] I don't know.

[1748] You're right.

[1749] But at the Well, do you want to do it for competition?

[1750] You want to do it for self -defense?

[1751] Self -defense.

[1752] I mean, like...

[1753] But see, then you can't say that, because that could happen on the way to the grocery store.

[1754] Oh, my God, yeah.

[1755] You can run into some crazy meth -up chick, wants to fucking duke it out.

[1756] Literally.

[1757] You fucking cut!

[1758] You're the one!

[1759] There's some times where like...

[1760] We're doing this.

[1761] I wish I had the fucking manpower, literally, to...

[1762] Like, we were in Nashville, like, two weeks ago for Americana Fest.

[1763] We were playing this festival, and we were driving under this bridge, and there were these two guys beating the fuck out of each other in the middle of the street there was like a bottle over the face this one guy was choking the other guy good technique or no it looked terrible it was sloppy it was sloppy it was sloppy crackhead bullshit it's one of my main puzzles but it was it was like obviously we called the police but like I had this moment where I was like I wanted to do something I'm like what the fuck can I do and I literally leaned out the window and I went stop it stop it I didn't know what to do and I called the police but like if I were a ninja like you I go on there I would have definitely stayed in my car right 100 % listen to listen to me listen to me if you if you're driving by two people beating the fuck out of each other you are not there okay you are in a car you're in a car just because it's right in front of you that shit could be 100 miles away unless unless there's someone in that mixture that needs you like if there's someone who's someone who's small, and they're getting beaten up by someone big, then everything changes.

[1764] But if it's two fucking dudes you buy...

[1765] The dude was like choking the other guy.

[1766] That your pig!

[1767] You owe me that pig!

[1768] They're fighting in the street.

[1769] Just try.

[1770] So my point is don't always stop.

[1771] Just kiss already.

[1772] Don't always stop.

[1773] Sometimes you've got to let two dudes beat each other to death.

[1774] It's better for everybody.

[1775] It's certain people.

[1776] It's fine.

[1777] Just give them both rocks and push them near the edge.

[1778] Go!

[1779] let them fall what are they going to do they're going to stay and keep coal mining you got to keep moving okay jeans need to flourish they need to find better streams of diversity I appreciate the perspective that's what I'm saying man don't always stop fights but some fights you have to stop right right the classic is a man beating a woman there was a man beating a woman there's a small battle in the front room of the honey honey show the other day in Long Beach don't like that I don't like that either, but I also think it's amazing because I'm like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, you had a honey, honey, honey show.

[1780] Don't hug each other.

[1781] It's like, it sounds.

[1782] There's some of that.

[1783] Look, we're fucking hardcore, but also we're fucking lovers.

[1784] And, like, it was like, it was amazing to have these dudes who are fighting.

[1785] And I was like, fuck you, motherfucker.

[1786] And I was like, guys, one of you has a honey, honey t -shirt on.

[1787] I just want to be like, let's think about this for a second.

[1788] Here's a, I hate that expression pro tip.

[1789] whenever someone tells you that they're hardcore, they're never hardcore.

[1790] That's 100%.

[1791] And like, the expression, we're hardcore.

[1792] That never comes out of the mouth.

[1793] But Joe, but Joe, check this out.

[1794] Because you cry sometimes.

[1795] Like, you're just as hardcore as you are soft.

[1796] You know, no, no. I think you're equal parts, dude.

[1797] But I would never claim hardcore.

[1798] I've never claimed hardcore.

[1799] I don't say it.

[1800] I'm more of like a medium core.

[1801] I believe I'm balanced.

[1802] I'm all about longevity, balance, thought, constant assessment of the path.

[1803] Don't try to run the furthest.

[1804] Try to make sure you hit the least trees.

[1805] Nice.

[1806] That's how I look at it.

[1807] I think it's super important to evaluate the next few steps.

[1808] Well, I think there's a lot of fucking continuing the same patterns that have got people into the positions we're in now.

[1809] Watch the flailing.

[1810] A lot of flailing.

[1811] That's a great.

[1812] It's a great word, too.

[1813] It's perfect for it.

[1814] It sounds like what it looks like.

[1815] Flailing.

[1816] No, it's true.

[1817] Right?

[1818] Flailing is like one of the best words ever, descriptively.

[1819] That's a good one.

[1820] I flail all the time.

[1821] Flasnick.

[1822] You call someone a flailer?

[1823] Damn, you got them.

[1824] It's true.

[1825] Right?

[1826] What are you going to say?

[1827] They take them down.

[1828] Fucking hardcore, bro.

[1829] You're a flailer.

[1830] Dude, you're flailing.

[1831] You're just running, flailing.

[1832] The minute you use that word, they crumble.

[1833] and they're like, you're right, I know.

[1834] It's definitely a word that, like, forces you into a bad position, you know?

[1835] Sure.

[1836] It's a very unstirited word.

[1837] Failing is not like, oh, you've got your footing.

[1838] It's like, you're fucking falling out of control.

[1839] Let me hold you.

[1840] I think conversations are in a lot of ways.

[1841] They're, like, numerical exchanges.

[1842] Like, you know, you say something that's 30, and she goes, oh, this bitch wants to get crazy.

[1843] And she says something that's 37.

[1844] and then you might just ratchet it right up to 90.

[1845] And everybody's like, what in the fuck?

[1846] You're like, what happened to 42 and 1670?

[1847] But if we take away the cultural context of the words, she calls me a cunt, my mother told me, don't have a girl call you a fucking cunt.

[1848] A girl calls you a cunt, you stab her in front of your mother, it's fucking to the death, to the death.

[1849] Cunt is a big word.

[1850] But what are those things?

[1851] What are those moments?

[1852] Well, those really take away the cultural context, there's a numerical value to the experience.

[1853] like that girl hit you with a 90 bomb you're a cunt with a stagie pussy no no that bitch tried to cut to the bone she tries to go through your emotions to get to your fucking nervous system and start chisling in there i do that shipping away at the fucking the do you do that occasionally but i think it's that's what it is if you look at it not in terms of like a conversation between two people that are being mean to each other like what throw all that stuff away throughout all the the the cultural framework that we have what are you're watching a number exchange you're watching people play and a sound exchange too yeah you know to keep i keep trying to fucking get it to sound it's a competition it's a competition there's a social competition involved in people being mean to each other oh i really think that's what a lot when people's like you know someone hits you with a 32 and you hit them with a fucking 40 you know like whoa i walked away on a 40 You know, and I was going to keep going, but I decided Nice clean kill.

[1854] There's a competition.

[1855] You'll go back to the water cooler, you'll talk about it.

[1856] This fucking guy comes up to me and he says, well, one day maybe you'll be a manager too.

[1857] Mike, bitch, you don't think I know your fucking dad owns the company?

[1858] Are you out of your mind?

[1859] If you were to live in my life...

[1860] Specifically, what are you talking about them?

[1861] They'll shut the door, they'll lock the fucking lunchroom and they'll have these deep conversations.

[1862] I told this motherfucker.

[1863] If your dad didn't own this company, you'd be buried under my...

[1864] In a house.

[1865] Oh, my God.

[1866] It's what people do?

[1867] So they go through the...

[1868] But what are they doing?

[1869] They're number exchanging.

[1870] That's what they're doing.

[1871] They're trying to win some stupid social gain.

[1872] We do that sometimes, but then we're okay with it.

[1873] Well, it's all dynamic, you know?

[1874] Oh, whoa, well, she just got real with you, bro.

[1875] No, we fight hard.

[1876] We fight hard.

[1877] We had a big fight, like, last week.

[1878] I got out of the car, took a long walk.

[1879] Damn.

[1880] Thought I was going to take the train to the next city.

[1881] You need me to travel with you.

[1882] No, no. Do it.

[1883] We'll go to Africa.

[1884] Can I be honest with you about something?

[1885] What?

[1886] She hates me. She fucking hates me. She's pointing.

[1887] This guy has been following me around.

[1888] You're right.

[1889] It's been the better part of the last 10 years with you because I hate you.

[1890] No, but it's true.

[1891] You know, it's something, the numbers game, I have a temper for sure, you know, and some triggers.

[1892] As do you, you know.

[1893] We all have tempers.

[1894] It just takes different things.

[1895] But the maintenance of this band that we're in requires a certain frequency.

[1896] Your fucking favorite word today.

[1897] If we don't, if we don't, if we don't exist in that, there can be an imbalance and then it can build into this fight and then we'll fucking fight because we're in a fucking band.

[1898] Because we're two people that spend so much time together and go through all these incredible experiences, but there's a certain...

[1899] And finish each other's sandwiches.

[1900] There's a stress that comes along.

[1901] with it.

[1902] You know what I mean?

[1903] I totally get it.

[1904] And you know, dude, you're traveling, you're doing these shows, or just living, whatever.

[1905] But, well, my relationship with the comedians that I work with is less intimate because we don't share a, we very, very, very, very, very rarely share a stage at the same time.

[1906] Yeah.

[1907] And we don't have to practice together.

[1908] Right.

[1909] And we, you know, it's a totally different experience, I think, because it's a, it's like you guys, if you have a bunch of friends that you consistently tour with, you know, that we're not in your band.

[1910] Like, it's very, very, talk about numbers, having the right combination of people.

[1911] Because we're in a youthed Cadillac Escalade, 2007.

[1912] This is how all good romance novels start.

[1913] And there's room for about four people, save for a girlfriend.

[1914] Every once in a while, our drummer's girlfriend comes out or possibly our...

[1915] Oh, that bitch.

[1916] I know, she's great.

[1917] She's really great.

[1918] She's very sweet.

[1919] Joe, Joe, don't do that.

[1920] We need to have a happy.

[1921] First of all, I'm sure you're a wonderful person.

[1922] if you're listening to this i'm just joking i'm not talking about you at all i couldn't possibly be talking about you i don't know you and they haven't said nothing wrong you're covered these are just jokes but like you know you have this like combination of personal space and that cunt he keeps talking shut she's trying to read my text this is your side of the bus this is my side of the bus you wouldn't even be here if you Joe made and broke, honey, honey.

[1923] There it is.

[1924] Because of jokes.

[1925] I'm just joking.

[1926] No, but it's funny because, like, we fucking, like, we will fight and then we'll have these great experiences, like, where we just, you have to, like, you have to, like, you have to, like, you're all married.

[1927] Everyone in the band, you know, it's like, you spent so much time together to this point where, like, I know, by the way that Ben breathes sometimes that, like, oh, he's, he's really fucking mad.

[1928] Or he needs a sandwich.

[1929] Or you're just creating drama with your fake psychic powers.

[1930] We have psychic fights.

[1931] We have psychic fights.

[1932] I know you're mad at me. I'm mad at you now.

[1933] I'm mad at you now.

[1934] Joe, please come on the road with us.

[1935] Please, please, Joe.

[1936] Listen, please.

[1937] You guys need more people to bounce off of them.

[1938] You need to get annoyed at me every now and then.

[1939] You're like, tell that fucking guy to just turn it off.

[1940] Turn it off.

[1941] No more jokes, no more funny.

[1942] No, but we have good dosing.

[1943] You know what I mean?

[1944] We see each other every couple months.

[1945] I honestly do think it's like eating meatloaf every day when you're with the same person every day.

[1946] Like you want to meet new people.

[1947] But you guys are achieving something that you couldn't achieve if you're just in this, like, crazy life where you went one way.

[1948] And you guys got this weird thing going on because you have this weird, you have this artistic synergy, I would say, in that, like, you're both very different.

[1949] But you're also very, you're very cool to each other.

[1950] Like, as much as you guys get in fights, like when you guys are not.

[1951] to each other like I can see like when you guys interact that you're you genuinely love each other and you're genuinely friends and if you do say something a little mean every occasionally you're genuinely sorry and you know you genuinely care and love about each other so when you guys do that it comes out that comes out in your music you guys aren't you're not day players on a fucking sitcom pretending to be in love with each other you know what I'm saying I mean you guys like fucking guys that studio musicians they brought in never met each other and they're gonna lay down a track now you guys have been doing this and you have like this this this thing you're doing together you know this is this you're all you have to deal with the fact that you're so intimate with each other like you you're you're gonna annoy the fuck out of each other you are each other you guys are fucked up you can totally move on with your lives if it gets too crazy you totally could but right now you can't because right now you can't because right now you're like almost one person you guys are almost like one like really well spread out person you just saved me so much money in therapy i can't even tell you i'm glad because i can't afford it it's too good it's too good together you guys are too good together it wouldn't work like that with other people it's it would be different it would probably be equally awesome for both of you but don't let it happen because what you guys have right now you've hit this whatever this thing is you got this ball of focus and experience and musical knowledge and love and it's all coming together with your own specific creativity and you guys are just and you're putting out these songs that are like whoa like they're they keep getting better like your shit keeps getting better like you have your old stuff was awesome and then you new stuff like grows and some you're putting layers on these things so look you got to be friends you just do exercise every few months.

[1952] That's the move.

[1953] Every like eight or nine months, just set a weekend aside where no one is going to touch their cell phone.

[1954] Just do a little Molly.

[1955] You know what?

[1956] That sounds like you're joking, but honestly, you said a lot of really beautiful things, and it's something that is nice to hear.

[1957] Thank you for saying that.

[1958] It's a weird life we live.

[1959] Yes.

[1960] It's fucking hard.

[1961] There's a lot of instability.

[1962] And, you know, but like, we, it's funny.

[1963] Like when we fight and we go to our separate corners and if it lasts a while, like, it's weird.

[1964] There's like a real darkness.

[1965] It's weird, but it's also part of our dynamic, you know?

[1966] And it's, I think that's part of all what you're saying, you know?

[1967] Like, you can't exclude certain parts of it.

[1968] And if you guys had some sort of a specific relationship, like if you were a brother and sister.

[1969] It would be so much easier.

[1970] We have the same parents.

[1971] Those parents fucked and they created us and now we are children.

[1972] And this is my cousin.

[1973] This is my cousin Ben Yeah, his mom He's my brother's sister And that's why we're friends You know, but when you're family With someone who you're not really family with Like I'm family with a lot of people And not all of them are related to me I'm family with a giant group of people You guys are clearly family You guys are family So whatever happens Like you have to You're always going to have to deal with that It's just not defined You know what I'm saying?

[1974] And you're not husband and wife, you're not mother and son.

[1975] You know, it's weird.

[1976] You're not father and daughter.

[1977] You're not brothers.

[1978] What's the noise I need to make with my face that means you guys?

[1979] And if you don't have that noise, oh, you guys aren't married?

[1980] Wow, do you think he's ever going to come in?

[1981] You know, like those fucking people go through that kind of shit in relationships.

[1982] Where they're like, just what noise do I have to make that changes your perception of what this is?

[1983] Because it has to be defined.

[1984] And then what the fuck?

[1985] What's the definition of a band of what?

[1986] really, really close friends that make awesome music together.

[1987] What is that?

[1988] What is that?

[1989] You guys two wizards?

[1990] A wizards and a witch?

[1991] What the fuck are you?

[1992] You guys travel all across the country together.

[1993] Okay, what do I call you?

[1994] What do I call you guys?

[1995] Are you guys accountants?

[1996] Together?

[1997] Gandalf, Gandalf.

[1998] Are you married?

[1999] Is it a Mr. and Mrs. No?

[2000] Is it a non -gender -specific designation of some sort of contractual agreement?

[2001] What is it?

[2002] What is it?

[2003] What is it?

[2004] We're just in a band together and we love each other.

[2005] What the fuck are you saying?

[2006] Joe, you're like this like angel man that came into our lives or something.

[2007] I don't fucking know.

[2008] And you guys, to me, I remember the first time I watched your video when you guys did that Angel of Death acoustic version on the roof, I was like, whoa.

[2009] That was a while ago.

[2010] We've known each other a long time now.

[2011] Who's the dude's name?

[2012] It was a crazy name that told me about it on the internet.

[2013] Balls of Steel.

[2014] That's right.

[2015] No one still, we don't know who that is.

[2016] He knows.

[2017] We don't even know if Balls of Steel is alive.

[2018] He's like a fucking superhero.

[2019] He has this knowledge.

[2020] It's crazy.

[2021] He's definitely alive.

[2022] I've had a few people, you know, that's one of the cooler things about being connected to people on social media.

[2023] They'll connect you with something that you probably never would have heard of before.

[2024] Oh, that's amazing.

[2025] And then just for you guys, we became friends, you know, in a strange way.

[2026] So that's it.

[2027] Yeah, it's been amazing, man. Weird, right?

[2028] And it totally changed our band, honestly.

[2029] Like, it changed us from being, we can tour the country now, honestly.

[2030] And this has been a huge part of it.

[2031] Huge.

[2032] Well, this is the way I look at, like, all podcasts, honestly.

[2033] It's like the idea of taking credit for the ocean when you accidentally stumbled upon an opening that turned something into a river.

[2034] Like, that's like all, everything that everybody extracts out of what they find on the internet is essentially like you found a path, you hit a button, you pull a lever, and a river opened.

[2035] You know, it's a river of honey, honey songs, or Sturgle Simpson or Tom Segura or Joey Diaz you're like some guy who's trying to take credit for the ocean because you've figured out this if you hit the switch it opens it and the river just runs into the villages and then everybody finds out about Duncan Truzzle keep hitting these switches and like so I can't take any credit for it all I did was stumble upon some some switching station for all these like super talented people yeah that's how I look at it yeah But it's a cool thing that you're looking for switching stations.

[2036] Not even like that.

[2037] That's what's fucked up about it.

[2038] Yes, no, you totally are.

[2039] It serves a pretty pertinent purpose for where we're at right now.

[2040] It's pretty cool.

[2041] And it's really great to witness the effects of what you do at the switching station when we're out on the road.

[2042] And all these incredible, incredible fucking people that come out that, like, just love you and really learn from the things that you say, you know?

[2043] Well, they love you guys too.

[2044] Somebody had the flower, Honey Honey shirt at one of my shows the other night.

[2045] The grandma flower.

[2046] I have that tattooed.

[2047] You do.

[2048] It's a grandma's a...

[2049] Shazam.

[2050] You know what I do?

[2051] We're going to freeze frame that and jerk off.

[2052] That's fucked up.

[2053] Let's just move on.

[2054] Just how it works.

[2055] That makes me feel funny.

[2056] But kind of in a good way?

[2057] I don't know.

[2058] I haven't decided.

[2059] Make it good.

[2060] Connection with nice people online is like one of the most promising hints at what's possible for the future.

[2061] Like, there's this idea that because online is anonymous, and anonymous means you're always going to be mean, that's not the case.

[2062] Like, you're always going to get a certain amount of people that are shitheads.

[2063] But those people, quite honestly, almost all of them, they're damaged and hurt people who got fucked over in life, and then they're trying to take out all that on all these other people.

[2064] I mean, that's the vast majority of what's going on.

[2065] but the amount of noise per capita is so high amongst cunts it's so hard because most people don't post anything most people who think you guys are awesome who've listened to this podcast who've listened to your songs they don't say a word about it they don't tweet about it they don't they'll come up to me at shows and they'll just tell me oh my god thank you guys for introducing me to honey honey really oh all the time all the time all the time they don't say they don't ever say you know i tweet about them all the time no the people that are true They tweet about, they don't say, like, mean shit, or they're just, like, eh, they're the freaks.

[2066] It's funny, like, when you talk about, like, damage people and stuff, like, we have the song called Bad People that, like, um, thanks, man, but, you know, it, it came from this fascination with, like, why are people so mean?

[2067] Why are people doing shitty things?

[2068] Like, why do you bust a car window and steal somebody's shit?

[2069] Why do you, why do you, why do you, well, that's, that's one way, but, like, why are you sinister why are you where are you you you know poisoning the cats in my neighborhood like there's this this fascination with where that fucking comes from right and we wrote that song and like it it was it was just kind of hanging out for a while it was really like thinking about it for a long time you know just just why how when do you turn are you born that way did you were you born into like because bad people come from nice families all the time and and incredible people come from fucking shitholes you know they crawl out of a hole but I don't know if there's any one answer to it but I just all I can say is that there's a fascination with where it comes from I don't know what do you think is more common do you think it's more common for really nice people to come out of total shit hole environments or for really nice families to have an asshole for a kid I think that inspiration can hit someone at an incredible like phenomenal rate when you just don't even expect it.

[2070] I think you can have information just like slammed upside your head in like an instant and it could be the littlest thing.

[2071] And I don't know.

[2072] I know that privileged families have they have a comfort that that unprivileged families don't have.

[2073] You know?

[2074] And there's just a completely different perspective on need and hunger and emotional hunger you could be emotionally starved in any scenario you could be I think experience shapes so much of who we are you know and you can have a bad experience in any context it doesn't matter if you you know what's your I don't know your social status is you can still have a bad experience you know and it can still shape you and it's what do we value you know we I think in general we have good values things to be excited about we value kindness and generosity and things like that so it's rare to to see someone and i don't know if i necessarily believe it that someone who comes out of a series of good experiences just boom we'll do things unless there's serious psychological malfunctioning it's like you're going to treat people as a reflection of your environment for sure but i think i think we also have this need to say it's this or it's that you know it's it's a disease or it's uh it's his DNA or it's it's never that clear cut and dry right i think there could be a lot of factors and i think a lot of factors in your environment and especially your experience they can kind of push your genes they can push the expression of your genes right you're fucking genetically predisposed to things that weren't even taught to you like you know like your anger or your like addiction or whatever and you know i think at the end of the day like everybody's got their suitcase and we need to respect everybody's suitcase because like what might be a shitty day for me could be like the worst day for somebody or vice versa.

[2075] You know, you never know what someone's volume level of their, you know, capacity for stuff is.

[2076] And you got to respect that, you know, like, I'm like, oh man, I don't want to get, but like I had a bad day with blah blah, blah.

[2077] And like someone's like, oh yeah, my father killed my sister.

[2078] You know, like you don't know.

[2079] Like that.

[2080] And that could be their harsh flip to that.

[2081] And I'm like, oh man, I thought my day was bad.

[2082] But at the end of the day, like, everyone one has a different volume of what they're capable of experiencing and if you're not capable of experiencing it you'll die you know like you're just like you have as much as you can take and then if you can't take it you're like that's that's what you're and you didn't die it's like what are you you know what are you if you're not experiencing anything and if you're not dead you're just alone silent in a room you're like that lady that kill all those people then they left her alone in the castle but that was her suitcase you know cemented up room That was the suitcase she had to carry.

[2083] Yeah.

[2084] If you're not experiencing anything, you're barely alive, though.

[2085] That's one of the tricks of being a person.

[2086] If you're not experiencing things, if you're not having ups and downs, re -evaluations.

[2087] That's why you've got to go outside your comfort zone.

[2088] Whatever.

[2089] Get weird.

[2090] You don't have to.

[2091] You don't do that.

[2092] Don't buy one of those shirts.

[2093] Keep it weird.

[2094] Keep Austin weird.

[2095] Keep Portland weird.

[2096] I was going to say Portland.

[2097] Don't do it.

[2098] And it's not your fault.

[2099] If you were about to buy it, going, this fucking shirt rules.

[2100] I was going to buy it.

[2101] They've never seen it before.

[2102] Yeah, if you've never seen it before, and if you're really young and you have a head injury, I'm just kidding about the head injury.

[2103] These are jokes.

[2104] But if you're a young person and you don't know how ridiculous it is to have a shirt on that says keep Austin weird, it's the same font in every shirt, and it pretends it's handwritten.

[2105] Well, it evolved in a bad way.

[2106] At one point it meant something really important.

[2107] Not really.

[2108] Because the people that were crying about keeping Portly weird were fake weird.

[2109] All of them, every one of them.

[2110] They're all twats.

[2111] But you love Austin so much.

[2112] Yeah, but the real weird people, they shut the fuck up and stay weird.

[2113] They stay weird.

[2114] They don't fucking protest.

[2115] They don't have to get together and make a Facebook page.

[2116] Keep Austin weird.

[2117] Sign up here if you agree.

[2118] Thumbs up or thumbs down.

[2119] What's it going to be?

[2120] It's a hipster's world, Joe.

[2121] It's not.

[2122] It's not.

[2123] They're only here because of supermarkets.

[2124] Did you ever see the hipster trap?

[2125] There would be no hipsters if they had to forage for their own food.

[2126] Did you ever see it?

[2127] It's a bear trap.

[2128] Supermarkets, do you think?

[2129] The hipster trap is a bear trap.

[2130] And in the middle, in the middle is like a six pack of PBR, a pack of American Spirit Lights, and, like, raybans.

[2131] Okay, now they should do the same thing, but with kale and alkalized water.

[2132] Veganic, make sure it's veganic.

[2133] And the Goodwill Cowboy.

[2134] Look, I love all those things.

[2135] P .S. Love me a good.

[2136] I like thrift store cowboy snap button shirt.

[2137] Well, I think the inclination behind being hipster is good.

[2138] It's like they want to be above the stupid shit they see every day.

[2139] That's moronic and pedantic.

[2140] Is that the word?

[2141] No. Well, you know, if you want to get down to brass tacks.

[2142] Hey, you didn't do it, did you?

[2143] I sure did.

[2144] You know, I'm really trying to embrace my Midwestern roots and just fucking go with it, you know.

[2145] Brass tax?

[2146] No, brass tacks.

[2147] I'm talking about the accent.

[2148] But you're totally right.

[2149] You already covered it.

[2150] You make me want to get Fargo on Netflix.

[2151] But first of all, I'm not that far west.

[2152] It's more like, oh, my God, like, go Browns, you know.

[2153] It's just like, it's not as like, don't you know, it's not like that.

[2154] It's more Eastern.

[2155] It's a little less Canada, a little more Rochester.

[2156] It's a little less disgusting, a little more books.

[2157] It's still not sexy.

[2158] Let's not bad if you can get them out of there.

[2159] It becomes sexy.

[2160] It's like, oh, my God.

[2161] Oh, my God, Joe, you're so hot.

[2162] That's not sexy.

[2163] I'm hired to teach him ballet.

[2164] I got to get out of this fucking town.

[2165] She's on the rock and roll tour bus.

[2166] Hanging out with her first black guy.

[2167] Are you talking about me?

[2168] No, no. I brought us to sitcom.

[2169] I was like, wait, I'm lost.

[2170] Listen, we just did three fucking hours of a single song, and that's not going to happen.

[2171] We can't do that.

[2172] No. Yeah.

[2173] So what we're going to do, since you guys are, look, I know how you think.

[2174] This is what we're going to do.

[2175] This is no time for driving.

[2176] We don't have to sing.

[2177] We could just talk.

[2178] This is what we're going to do.

[2179] We're going to take a bathroom break.

[2180] And then we'll come back and we'll do a second podcast where we talk way less shit.

[2181] Did we do okay?

[2182] Yeah, it was awesome.

[2183] Do you think we made a bunch of un -fans?

[2184] Well, it's quarter to seven, though, right?

[2185] Non -rockers?

[2186] You're right.

[2187] Yeah, we got 20 minutes, right?

[2188] Yeah.

[2189] Okay.

[2190] We got 20 minutes, but I think it'd be better if we did two different podcasts.

[2191] I think it's cool.

[2192] We should also talk about our tour.

[2193] We're on tour right now.

[2194] We should definitely do that in both podcasts.

[2195] especially the ones where they get to see how good you guys are oh god I was like Ben when you talk about the teaser podcast and the new video we just talked about on the treadmill right now you fuck I've been running for two hours and 20 men I don't want to hear you talk Joe Rogan make them sing shit okay we can do this bad about this this is all super positive that's good so we'll take a little P break we're going to take a P break and we're going to come back and we're going to come back and we're going to come back with a completely different podcast and a totally mellow vibe.

[2196] We're going to do what Americans in 2015 called Hug It Out.

[2197] Oh, shit, I love hugs.

[2198] We're total.

[2199] And we're going to prepare for the next hour.

[2200] The next hour, we're just going to have a good time.

[2201] All right.

[2202] So this is bonus footage coming up.

[2203] You fucking monsters.

[2204] We'll see you soon.

[2205] Bye -bye.