Goldie Hawn

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepard, and I'm joined by Monster Padman.

[2] How does it feel?

[3] That didn't take long at all.

[4] I like it.

[5] It could be better.

[6] You want to work on it?

[7] Yeah, a little more playful or inventive.

[8] Just putting Monster Padman, I could be...

[9] That's okay.

[10] It was a great start.

[11] Okay, we'll just start there.

[12] I imagine many folks who listen, many armchairs will go, well, you've given us the entire Russell Hahn family.

[13] That's right.

[14] Where's golden?

[15] Where's the matriarch?

[16] Where's the matriarch who started it all?

[17] Who's the first one in?

[18] Goldie.

[19] Here she is.

[20] Here she is.

[21] Now, spoiler for this episode, what we had thought was that we had cleaned up nice and tidy the whole family.

[22] Just to remind everyone.

[23] I don't want to spoil this.

[24] This is so funny.

[25] Okay.

[26] Okay.

[27] Well, I'll just say that we had Kate and Oliver.

[28] Kurt and Wyatt.

[29] Kurt and Wyatt.

[30] Now Goldie.

[31] And we thought, great.

[32] We've gotten the whole family, and we haven't.

[33] So there's going to be another interview.

[34] It's going to be challenging.

[35] It's going to be a very challenging one.

[36] Of course, Goldie Hawn, I don't need to tell you about her.

[37] She's an actor, a producer, overboard.

[38] Death Becomes her, the First Wives Club.

[39] The Christmas Chronicles, which she does with her sweet husband, Bird on a Wire, so many things.

[40] And she has an incredible education foundation in a program called Mind Up that she has gotten into tons of schools, tons of students have benefited from this.

[41] It's a very, very cool, emotional asset.

[42] Definitely.

[43] But uses, like, neuroscience to connect your most.

[44] It's really, really great.

[45] It is.

[46] And she kind of blew my mind how much she knew about all that stuff.

[47] It was very impressive.

[48] Very.

[49] It was all around just a great time.

[50] It was.

[51] We saved the best for last, I guess.

[52] Legend.

[53] Please enjoy Goldie Hawn.

[54] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[55] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[56] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[57] He's an object square.

[58] What would you like to drink?

[59] Do you want a coffee?

[60] A water.

[61] Great.

[62] There's that.

[63] And you have a heating thing?

[64] Do you have a tea?

[65] Yes.

[66] Monica's a big tea drinker.

[67] Oh, good.

[68] Okay, so I'll have a tea.

[69] Okay, great.

[70] What flavor do you desire?

[71] Do you have one of these Barker Loungeer Crazy Chairs?

[72] I wouldn't own one if my life defended on it, but they're so comfortable.

[73] I know.

[74] And does this rock?

[75] Oh, my God.

[76] Oh, you know what?

[77] Stay here.

[78] I'm going to get the five -eion jug out of the bus.

[79] What?

[80] We have to do this now?

[81] Don't even work.

[82] One second.

[83] I don't need it.

[84] I can do water.

[85] No, no, no, no, no. It's really falling apart over here.

[86] It's a disaster.

[87] Oh, my God.

[88] I was just an Aspen.

[89] I just got back yesterday.

[90] It was my first time there.

[91] Oh, really?

[92] Yes, I loved it.

[93] Didn't you?

[94] Yes, it's so charming.

[95] It's very charming.

[96] Everything has stayed for the most part.

[97] You know, they've got very strict rules, so it stays that world.

[98] When we first moved there, I was in heaven because every other store was a knitting store.

[99] Oh, cute.

[100] Yeah, it was so provincial.

[101] And then suddenly you had Gucci coming in, and then it got very high level.

[102] I was wondering that, like, what was the draw for all these fancy people, just because it was like a point -seeing?

[103] Quaint.

[104] They put in Regency, they put in the Ritz, they put some really nice hotels there.

[105] Yeah.

[106] And it's extremely charming.

[107] But it goes in cycles.

[108] It used to be the cocaine group.

[109] Tons of cocaine.

[110] Cocaine was everywhere.

[111] Oh, wow.

[112] That was Kurt's era.

[113] I wasn't there for that.

[114] I wasn't there for the guns and all that stuff on the bar.

[115] His stories.

[116] Oh, what a time of that was, I'm sure.

[117] It was great.

[118] I'll never forget.

[119] We were just together, really.

[120] We happened fast.

[121] We got a piece of land there.

[122] Anything by a river is in a valley.

[123] And I looked down there and it was really beautiful.

[124] And then I came back.

[125] I thought, you know, we're in Colorado.

[126] We should have an open view.

[127] Yeah.

[128] Right.

[129] Experiment team.

[130] What were you in the market?

[131] That sounds good.

[132] Yeah.

[133] Then I came out and I said, you know what?

[134] We can't buy this.

[135] And so now he goes hunting and he goes in and oversees this beautiful area where we are now.

[136] And the guy said to him, oh, that's for sale.

[137] Of course.

[138] So we put snow shoes on and went down through that whole place.

[139] There wasn't one tree on And I bought half, and he bought half.

[140] I have my side of the fence, and he has his side.

[141] I have found all these flavors.

[142] We've got organic camomile.

[143] We've got Earl Grey.

[144] We have spearmint.

[145] You know, caramel is really good for you.

[146] Let's do that.

[147] Let's do with camoamette.

[148] Let's be healthy.

[149] I read a whole thing about cannamial, and I'm thinking, why aren't I drinking more chamomile tea, sweetheart?

[150] You're making my tea.

[151] You're my guest.

[152] I know.

[153] I didn't even know we had all these teas, so it was, you've educated me out in our reserves.

[154] Okay, what do I want after?

[155] No, boy.

[156] Okay, no, no, no, no. What will I want?

[157] This is so good.

[158] This is very exciting.

[159] It is.

[160] It is.

[161] Because you were the last remaining member, Goldie.

[162] That's right.

[163] I know.

[164] Well, Boston, I suppose.

[165] Well, I'm the last remaining one, but I was the first one.

[166] First and and last out.

[167] Sometimes the first and the last.

[168] Yeah.

[169] Not a bad thing to be the first and not a bad thing to be the last.

[170] That's right.

[171] I started a text chain today with Oliver, Kate.

[172] Wyatt and Kurt and I said why is it your mom's the only one brave enough to come here by herself I know I love that and Kurt said she's going there today I'm seriously I know I'm fearless I do everything alone I love to be alone the only thing is I used to be able to go and have wine and back in the day when people were smoking and then I used to people watch and I'd write my diary nobody knew me because I was still learning about me. And it was the best.

[173] And I remember I talked to another person.

[174] I don't want to talk about that person because they're well known.

[175] But when they became well known, Morgan Freeman, I'll say it for you.

[176] Go to Morgan, you know.

[177] He said the thing when he became successful that he missed the most was driving across the country and seeing and meeting people and giving in cafes and literally being anonymous.

[178] So aloneness ain't so bad.

[179] Yeah, you're right.

[180] You go from an observer to being observed.

[181] Exactly.

[182] And that aloneness, your mind becomes.

[183] alive.

[184] And, you know, I used to write a lot when I'd go into, like, Alice's restaurant in Malibu.

[185] Then all of a sudden, VHS's came out.

[186] But I used to go to Europe.

[187] I wasn't recognized because people didn't really know me that well.

[188] Not after, like, shampoo.

[189] No. What happened was when the VHS...

[190] This is after laughing, but before...

[191] Exactly.

[192] Before Private Benjamin.

[193] So that made it easy for me. I'd go into Italy and sit down in the cafe, you know, and I'd pretend I was Duluth.

[194] It was one of my favorite best friends.

[195] And the same in France.

[196] So...

[197] I'm not complaining.

[198] Right.

[199] I think it's fair to say everything's a two -sided coin.

[200] So there's like a ton of benefits.

[201] And then you pay a little price and you lose some stuff.

[202] And it's all right to mourn what you lost or be nostalgic for it.

[203] I don't think it makes you ungrateful.

[204] It just makes me miss it.

[205] But I'm not ungrateful.

[206] The only thing now is that I have to lock myself in my sauna to get some peace.

[207] Are you into a sauna?

[208] Because I do it every single night.

[209] How often are you doing it?

[210] I do it three times a week.

[211] 20 minutes?

[212] Or half hour.

[213] Wow.

[214] Well, I have an inference.

[215] Sona.

[216] Both of them are very, very good for you.

[217] The most important thing with this one, you can stay in longer and I sweat faster.

[218] So it goes more sort of cellular just because of the frequency there, because it's infrared.

[219] And I love that.

[220] But my refuge for years, I built sonnas and all the houses I've built.

[221] And, you know, we talked about that earlier, how I built so many houses.

[222] Yeah, you were here for 36 seconds and you were like, okay, that thing's, okay, that's nice.

[223] You should do the trim black go to tie in this.

[224] I would have moved that over here.

[225] I was trying to balance out that.

[226] I had to say it.

[227] It's hillbilling madness over here.

[228] Would you expect anything less?

[229] No, I mean, really.

[230] Okay, but you always put sonnas in the places you built.

[231] I do it for peace.

[232] One time I was dating a Swede, and he was really a good guy, but he made me crazy.

[233] He'd say, Goldie, you're just tired.

[234] And I said, I'm just tired.

[235] I'm just tired of us.

[236] I mean, I'm sorry, but you play the same number on the piano over and over and over and over.

[237] And you laugh at the Flintstone.

[238] Jones.

[239] This isn't working for me. I need to get out of here.

[240] But I'm really seriously, it would go to the sauna.

[241] It was quiet.

[242] It was warm.

[243] It was completely alone.

[244] Did he pronounce it sauna?

[245] Does we say sauna?

[246] But I had a girlfriend whose father was finished and he said it's a sauna.

[247] We invented it.

[248] It's sauna.

[249] A sauna?

[250] A sauna.

[251] Well, S -A -U could be sauna.

[252] Why not?

[253] But the thing is, the Swedes are different than we are.

[254] Did you know that?

[255] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[256] So let me tell you about a sauna I went in.

[257] Oh, tell me. So my Swedish boyfriend.

[258] I need like an era.

[259] What year is this?

[260] Oh, this is the 70s.

[261] Oh, swinging 70s.

[262] Yeah, anything's possible.

[263] Keep your office open.

[264] So it's a great time to be alive.

[265] It was like, that was so fun.

[266] Hand slap.

[267] Leave you, take care, love you.

[268] No relationship.

[269] That's nice.

[270] That's the 70s.

[271] Sure, sure.

[272] That's the 70s.

[273] But in the meantime, I did have a boyfriend.

[274] So, West Coast of Sweden started from Norway.

[275] He said, now you know where we're going to go, Gouldy.

[276] And I said, He said to Ingrid Bergman's house.

[277] And I said, what?

[278] He said, yes, because Le Colarsch, I didn't know if they were still married or not, is in the house, and he's invited us there.

[279] So they live on a little island called Hard Island.

[280] But really quick, you've already worked with Ingrid Bergman.

[281] Yeah, your first movie.

[282] She could have been gone at that point.

[283] I'd have to look that up.

[284] What I did notice there is when I went into the house, I saw a lot of her.

[285] I saw the chest that Metro Goldman Mayor gave her.

[286] Oh.

[287] Yeah.

[288] MGM for people who...

[289] Her name was inscribed in it.

[290] It was so beautiful.

[291] Then he had his girlfriend there.

[292] Sometimes Swedish people have girlfriends.

[293] That's not what makes them unique, obviously.

[294] Yeah, right.

[295] And that's not what makes his story work.

[296] So I'm going to go further.

[297] But I like that part.

[298] Deeper dive and say that I was in a real sauna.

[299] So I went into Ingrid and Larsh's sauna.

[300] And when I say the island was little, it was like a rock.

[301] And you put wood in it.

[302] So it's a real fire.

[303] Yes, yes.

[304] This is wood burning under.

[305] And then you jump in the sea.

[306] The plunge.

[307] And it was amazing.

[308] Cold plunge.

[309] That was the...

[310] Original cold plunge.

[311] That was the West Coast.

[312] What sea is that?

[313] The North Sea or something?

[314] Where the North Sea meets the sun.

[315] You become a...

[316] And then we went over to another place on the...

[317] Right, but really quick.

[318] I have a follow -up question.

[319] Because this is what we do on the weekends with friends of ours.

[320] So we have a cold plunging in a song.

[321] We're very spoiled.

[322] So to our friends.

[323] They're very spoiled.

[324] So what we do is we do 20 minutes in the sauna, then three minute cold plunge, then back in the sauna 20 minutes, then three minutes, then three minutes, then three minutes, and I'm telling you, you're so fucking stoned by the second one, but all natural.

[325] You come back into the sauna and we have a game we play where you've got to add up numbers.

[326] No one can do it.

[327] Honey, you have that and friends.

[328] Yes, yes.

[329] That's amazing.

[330] I know.

[331] I mean, honestly, when you talk about friends, Kurt just loves the family.

[332] But getting back to the plunge parties that you're doing?

[333] Yes, yes.

[334] They're kind of kinky, right?

[335] They're not quite 70s, but they're bored.

[336] You know what?

[337] A few screams in there, but that's not because anybody's having a bed.

[338] Right, right.

[339] But honestly, it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

[340] The cold plunge and all of that going back and forth, take a cold shower.

[341] Your body responds to that.

[342] It wakes up.

[343] You get elevated dopamine for hours after.

[344] And dopamine is an awesome neurotransmitter.

[345] That's what we're all chasing.

[346] All the other drugs you like.

[347] That's what they're giving you.

[348] But then it's a very diminished return.

[349] Exactly.

[350] But you know what else can create dopamine?

[351] Tell me. Friendship and dancing and movement.

[352] We want to raise our dopamine.

[353] So we do dopamine dances.

[354] Oh, I love that.

[355] So I think understanding your own brain is pretty great.

[356] And then you don't have to get high.

[357] Yes, I agree.

[358] Okay, so dancing, wonderful.

[359] Let's go back to Washington, D .C. Mom is a dance instructor.

[360] My mother was a businesswoman.

[361] Her best friend was a dance teacher.

[362] And so my mother arranged the whole business.

[363] And she ran the dancing school.

[364] and I was three years old.

[365] That was my first dancing lesson.

[366] And you immediately found love with it.

[367] I loved to dance, but I didn't know anything but dance.

[368] Really quick.

[369] When I read D .C., we're really talking maybe Maryland?

[370] I live in Maryland.

[371] I was born in Washington, D .C. I lived on a dead -end street, very modest, duplex house, for 19 years until I went to New York.

[372] What city in Maryland?

[373] Tacoma Park.

[374] Do you know where Gathesburg is?

[375] Yeah.

[376] I had a girlfriend in high school that lived in Gathesburg, but I went and visited her there.

[377] And she took me to my favorite state park I've ever been doing my life.

[378] life, Great Falls on the Potomac.

[379] Did you ever go to that state park when you're a kid?

[380] Maryland's a beautiful state.

[381] The only thing I don't like about the East Coast, now that I was able to go west when I was 19 is when I went to L .A. And I saw the deserts and I saw things.

[382] I was in awe.

[383] That feeling of awe made me right in my diary.

[384] How could anyone doubt the existence of God when you're looking out the window of this airplane and seeing this landscape and this beauty and the light and the color?

[385] And I was so moved.

[386] But I didn't go back home to live.

[387] again.

[388] And one of the reasons was all the mountains looked like bald heads.

[389] It was old.

[390] It didn't have a feeling of newness.

[391] And then when I would see the Rockies and how beautiful they were and pointy.

[392] They looked like they were still growing.

[393] Everything was growing.

[394] And I just felt like that.

[395] The difference between the East and the West.

[396] But living where I lived on a dead end street was the best thing ever because we were safe.

[397] The kids could run around and do everything you wanted to do.

[398] And one of them took my mother's dressmaker that looked like a naked person.

[399] And we We walked it around the neighborhood and called it Mrs. Tookie, and we were so excited, and we'd make forts down in the woods, and we were left alone to create and do all that stuff.

[400] Was it your mom who Wyatt sang, played the violin?

[401] Was it your mom?

[402] Who did Wyatt play the violin for?

[403] Oh, my father, so he never knew my dad.

[404] My dad played for all the president's parties.

[405] I was going to say he played for JFK and he played for FDR?

[406] Yeah, he was one of the band guys.

[407] They always chose him within this one company, and he worked for all these things.

[408] King Saoud, he did the embassy.

[409] I mean, crazy stuff.

[410] And was he playing all the time at home?

[411] Daddy, he's his own podcast.

[412] Okay.

[413] I can channel him.

[414] But he was the first violinist, and then he became a horn.

[415] So he taught him how to play, clarinet and saxophone.

[416] But he had a watch shop by day.

[417] So in Silver Spring, Maryland, he was sort of an icon.

[418] Holland's watch shop and was right next to the tasty diner.

[419] You're saying watch shop?

[420] He ran out.

[421] Yeah, he sold watch and repaired watches.

[422] Oh, oh, wow.

[423] I don't think I ever saw him.

[424] after school without one of those eyepieces on, you know, is looking at all the tiny little pieces.

[425] A loop, do they call it sometimes?

[426] A loop, exactly.

[427] So I feel like, and I just learn this about Wyatt, do you have your water?

[428] You got your tea.

[429] I'm going to go for my tea right now.

[430] Let's start hot and well, and cold.

[431] Oh, this will be like the sauna, so they'll go hot and then we'll go cold.

[432] Cammy now.

[433] But now that I know your dad could fix watches and was intricate like that And to hear how much Wyatt is enjoying building violins, like, are those two so weirdly similar?

[434] I swear to God, it's got to be in his DNA.

[435] Here's what he did when he was four.

[436] And he never knew my father.

[437] He said, Mommy, I want to play the violin like Grandpa.

[438] At four.

[439] He was four.

[440] And I thought, where did that come from?

[441] I mean, it actually made me weep because I have all daddy's violins.

[442] I put them in saddle boxes and their artwork for me. But Wyatt at four?

[443] So I put him to Suzuki.

[444] He studied for a while violin.

[445] and he really loved it, and then he didn't.

[446] Later on, he picked up the guitar.

[447] So he was a string guy, but then he started picking up the violin again.

[448] It was calling to him.

[449] So he found his violin maker, and for Chris Robinson, and he was about 1617, he made the most gorgeous guitar with inlays of Pearl and Chris treasures it.

[450] But Wyatt is like that.

[451] When I met Wyatt, I could see that he had had such an affinity for Chris.

[452] Like, what a cool presence Chris had been in his life.

[453] That's right.

[454] even turned him on to guitar and music.

[455] And you could just see it.

[456] He was very instrumental and maybe his identity and who he wanted to be.

[457] Exactly.

[458] I'll tell you something about Wyatt.

[459] Really interesting story.

[460] Well, I find it interesting.

[461] I don't know if Kurt would find it interesting.

[462] He already had his turn.

[463] Yeah, exactly.

[464] He was already here.

[465] Goldie's getting the last word, so go ahead.

[466] I'm getting the last word.

[467] We could have the last one, but on the first one.

[468] Anyway, he had to write something in school, Wyatt, and he wrote what his mom.

[469] do and he had to draw a picture and what his dad do he had me going to the office every day which was true i produced funny movies i had a job right right kurt was an airplane flyer a pilot i went oh yeah the life of riling anyway so that was that i think our kids just think we are unemployed we're just always home no no exactly so anyway he never wanted to be an actor he was individuated he was a hockey player that's why we moved up to vancouver so he took great pride in his identity of being that.

[470] So the school assignment was, who is your hero?

[471] He could have chosen any one of the hockey goaltenders.

[472] He chose the Dalai Lama.

[473] Oh, wow.

[474] Weirdly, I'm not shocked, but that's crazy for a young.

[475] He has a Zen attitude.

[476] He was 11.

[477] The reason why he chose him, oh God, I almost cry when I think about it.

[478] I guess it's just so compassionate.

[479] He said, because right now he's suffering and people are suffering from the Chinese.

[480] And he's forgiving them.

[481] Right.

[482] This would have been at the height of the Free Tibet movement.

[483] He's very aware of that.

[484] That's what he chose.

[485] That's what was on his mind.

[486] Because he had forgiveness.

[487] That's so cool.

[488] And that was his hero.

[489] Now, I don't know, man, but that's who he is.

[490] Ultimately, the kids show you who they are.

[491] So I have two little girls now.

[492] And isn't it just astounding how much they are genetically who they are?

[493] They come out.

[494] You might be able to steer them five degrees in this direction or that.

[495] But man, they are who they are.

[496] The quicker you can get out of the way and just get excited with them of figuring out who this person is.

[497] Exactly.

[498] But it's true.

[499] I mean, they're all their own person.

[500] When I was pregnant, I was just a carrier.

[501] And I really loved it.

[502] I love being a girl.

[503] I love having babies.

[504] I love the fact that we get to have those babies and they get to grow inside of us.

[505] And it's such a miracle to this day.

[506] But I never felt that I owned them.

[507] I never felt that they were just all mine.

[508] I really felt they were little people coming to the world through me and that I was their vessel.

[509] And that's where they grew, but it didn't mean they were going to be like me. I can't divine who they're going to be.

[510] We're just basically the rudder and making sure that they stay online, kind, graceful.

[511] Avoid the rocks.

[512] Well, some rocks they need.

[513] Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[514] They need the class three rapids, maybe not the class five.

[515] It's a non -faylor.

[516] Yes, no fucking waterfalls, maybe.

[517] Exactly.

[518] And Kurt was better at that than me. You know, I just want to save everybody.

[519] It was like, oh, don't worry, I'm right behind you.

[520] I've got you.

[521] In fact, you know what, you'll figure this out.

[522] We're going to get to that, because I think you two have a very fascinating and wonderful yin -yang that I, too, happen to find myself in.

[523] I'm so happy.

[524] I think opposites is a really good way to go, but you remarked that.

[525] Okay.

[526] Were you more of a mom girl or a dad girl, or neither, would you say?

[527] That's a really good question.

[528] I have a guess.

[529] Okay, tell me. I think you were a daddy's girl.

[530] Yeah.

[531] You still call him daddy, which is a very sweet indicator that you're a daddy's girl.

[532] Yeah, well, he's always my daddy's girl.

[533] I heard Gwyneth Paltrow be interviewed by Howard Stern, and she said something that made me cry in my car, which is she was talking about her father, and she said, well, everyone has a dad, and if you're really lucky, you have a daddy.

[534] And I was like, oh, my God, I hope my girls always call me daddy.

[535] It's true.

[536] It's true.

[537] Yeah.

[538] And so much for a girl.

[539] I was on a show once in London, and it was one of the big talk shows.

[540] And he had just had two twins, and they were girls.

[541] And I said to him, first of all, congratulations.

[542] Secondly, you're the first person they're going to fall in love with.

[543] You better watch yourself because they will want that, because you are that love in their life.

[544] That's the first love we have in our life.

[545] I was madly when I was little in love with my father.

[546] Now, the other side of it is, is that Daddy and I were best friends.

[547] He was a musician.

[548] His last thing he said to me before he died, he said, when are you going to direct, Goldie?

[549] He was an advocate.

[550] How old were you when he died?

[551] 30 -something.

[552] You had won an Oscar.

[553] Yeah, I was around 35, 36, and he called me. me and he said, I want you to remember this.

[554] What you have done in your 36 years is what most people get in a lifetime.

[555] He said, I'm so proud of you.

[556] Oh, man. And that meant the world to me. Oh, my God, yeah.

[557] There's a lot of awards you get, and they're wonderful.

[558] But these are memories.

[559] These are things that shape you.

[560] And my mother, she was a driver.

[561] She made sure I went to dancing school.

[562] I said, I'm not going.

[563] She said, yes, you are.

[564] No, fuck you're not.

[565] She was the one that had the knowledge.

[566] She was running the show.

[567] Well, and she married an artist, so someone had to be the non -artist.

[568] I don't even know how you guys have made a housework with two fucking artists.

[569] I don't either, but Kurt really, he has a mentality.

[570] He's amazing.

[571] We'll talk about that.

[572] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[573] He's got an amazing brain.

[574] Wait, I want to say real quick, the irony of us saying that your kids are your own people, which they are, but Kate is so similar to you.

[575] Even during this 20 minutes we've been here, it's like hard.

[576] It's, you're so similar.

[577] Yeah, if there were any one of your children.

[578] Children, I think it would be hardest for you to not think is yours.

[579] It's her.

[580] Oh, my gosh.

[581] And I have to tell you the journey I took dating Kate.

[582] Oh, what are you going to say?

[583] Well, I took the journey of dating Kate and then I saw shampoo.

[584] Oh, right.

[585] And I was like, oh my God, I was dating Goldie.

[586] Oh, no, that is fucking uncanny.

[587] You and shampoo, that might be the sparkliest I've ever seen someone in a movie.

[588] Oh, my God.

[589] Nobody could watch shampoo and not just be tragically in love with you.

[590] You're the most sparkly fun, ethereal fucking creature that somehow tap dancing on Planned Earth.

[591] That's amazing to hear.

[592] And then you watch Almost Famous and I'm like, oh, here she is again.

[593] She time traveled.

[594] She did shampoo.

[595] Then she zipped ahead to the late 90s and did that movie and zipped back.

[596] It's freaky.

[597] And then, obviously, I went and stayed with you guys in Canada.

[598] And then I met the real you.

[599] And I'm like, holy smokes.

[600] I hope I don't get confused.

[601] No, that's so funny.

[602] Well, we are, we have a lot of things that are alike.

[603] There's no, no, no doubt about it.

[604] Now, that is DNA.

[605] Yeah.

[606] There's an essence.

[607] That's something you can't help.

[608] It's an interesting thing to know your differences.

[609] I know our similarities.

[610] But what separates us are our differences.

[611] And it's important.

[612] And one of the things when she was little, and she was still in elementary school, something happened in school.

[613] I said to her, honey, I'm going to tell you.

[614] you are so talented.

[615] You are much better in school than I ever was.

[616] You are an incredible runner.

[617] You run faster than anybody in L .A. You're a beautiful dancer.

[618] I want you to realize that I wasn't that good.

[619] And I want you to know all the things that you do well.

[620] And it isn't just what I do.

[621] Right.

[622] You're not in my shadow.

[623] You're in your own lane.

[624] Now, does it work?

[625] Does it not work?

[626] You try the best you can.

[627] Let me ask you this.

[628] So we have two daughters.

[629] One is very, very simple.

[630] to me. One is very, very similar to Kristen.

[631] And we figured out some years ago, I'm not to discipline the one like me and she's not to discipline the one like her.

[632] I have a lot of practice dealing with her.

[633] She has a lot of practice dealing with me. I find it hardest and it saddens me the most that the one that's like me, I feel like I most could potentially help because I've been navigating this personality for so long.

[634] But I have the hardest time.

[635] We trigger each other the easiest.

[636] And same with Kristen and our daughter that's like her.

[637] And I wonder, if you and Kate being so similar, if you had that dynamic ever, where it's like the things you see in her, the things you see in yourself.

[638] This is complicated because when you have, let's just say a little girl, and that little girl is identifying with her mother, for the most part.

[639] And she wants to trump her mother.

[640] That's normal.

[641] Yes.

[642] I want to be better than my mom.

[643] For sure.

[644] So she'll approve of me and love me. Exactly.

[645] Or the world will.

[646] Yes, yeah, yeah.

[647] There's a lot of perspectives around that.

[648] And to be aware of it, I know that if I made cupcakes as a mother and my little girl, maybe her name's not Kate, maybe it's another little girl, whoever.

[649] Backy.

[650] What's her name?

[651] Backy.

[652] Exactly.

[653] You go anywhere, you know, Trixie.

[654] Yeah, Trixie Hawn is making some...

[655] Trixie Hawn.

[656] Here she comes.

[657] But you know that you have to be aware that what you would call competition is normal.

[658] So I remember when she was doing great at 200 cigarettes, I mean, come on, her talent's insane.

[659] And people were saying to me, do you feel competitive with your daughter?

[660] and I was still working, doing a bunch stuff.

[661] I thought, how dare you?

[662] That's a bad question.

[663] Yeah, yeah, I find that offensive.

[664] It was really offensive.

[665] I want my kids to shine brighter than me. Of course, and the perception is that there's a competition.

[666] There is a generic trope of an actress who covets her youth.

[667] And so, of course, your daughter must be inflaming your desire to be young again.

[668] That's the old myth of Persephone and what's it?

[669] Oh, like a Greek?

[670] Oh, no, it's an old myth.

[671] Anyway, it's where they created summer and spring because Persephone was the mother and Daphne...

[672] I'm making it up, no, sorry.

[673] Becky, Trixie.

[674] Trixie.

[675] Trixie.

[676] And she was the...

[677] Persephone's daughter, Trixie.

[678] You know, I forgot her name.

[679] So anyway, so now what happens is in this lore, is it how summer was created, is that it was winter all the time.

[680] Persephone decided their daughter, at the age of when you get your period, at that point, of course it's early now, but around 12 years old, She went down to see Hades.

[681] She went down below.

[682] And now her mother was devastated that she lost her daughter.

[683] Devastated that she was going into this world of female and all this sex.

[684] And she was no longer a little girl.

[685] She was no longer the one who carried her in her arms.

[686] And there's a weakness to that.

[687] And that's where the idea that your daughter is stealing your age.

[688] Your daughter is stealing this from you.

[689] She made a deal with Hades and said, I will create spring and summer, if you please let me have my daughter back again.

[690] Oh, wow.

[691] It's a beautiful story, and it's very true, because if mothers don't have their world, their ideas of things, the joy of living, I don't care if they're playing tennis or golf with people, or whatever that might be as they grow older, they don't have anything to hang on, which is interesting, a happier life, an ability to move transparently what you had with your daughter onto others, because your daughter's going to disappear at periods.

[692] So I think that's an interesting analogy of saying, if you were doing anything, your daughter's going to want to be you, and she goes into your closet, and she steals your shoes.

[693] And guess what else she steals?

[694] You're a car when you're not there.

[695] And I've been through it.

[696] And of course, Katie and I are very, very, very close.

[697] There's no question.

[698] And I also respect her privacy.

[699] Absolutely.

[700] I mean, come on.

[701] You've got to respect our kids.

[702] No, you guys are in a similar tricky situation that I too meant.

[703] If I want to talk about my wife, you know who my wife is.

[704] If I want to talk about my sex life, well, we know who that's with, right?

[705] So I understand, and it's interesting because four or five of you are all known.

[706] So you can't even say my son or my husband.

[707] Did you hear about our dog?

[708] No. Is your dog in movies now?

[709] This is crazy.

[710] This is crazy.

[711] Our dog got the Budweiser commercial.

[712] No, is this?

[713] No way.

[714] Wait a minute.

[715] What's the dog's name?

[716] Roy.

[717] Roy Russell?

[718] Yes.

[719] Oh, my God, the dog's on TV?

[720] Yeah, and he's the most gorgeous.

[721] He's so gorgeous.

[722] He's a gorgeous white, yellow Labradoros.

[723] Roy.

[724] What a family.

[725] Wait, how did Roy end up in a Budweiser commercial?

[726] Because the woman that actually trained him has a relationship with people who say, do we have a dog?

[727] She also does that.

[728] Yeah, I got this dog from a lot of pedigree.

[729] Multiple Academy Award nominations, some wins.

[730] We do like Roy.

[731] You should see the TV a bit thought.

[732] He's already had three jobs.

[733] Oh, my God.

[734] Okay, right.

[735] So now if you talk about your dog, and you want to tell an embarrassing story about him, like you caught him licking himself.

[736] Now you can't because he's...

[737] No, no, good point.

[738] Yes.

[739] And he probably has a representative, and you'll hear about it.

[740] Kurt said he gets for a stigilling.

[741] I just want you to know.

[742] And by the way, where's the money?

[743] Yes.

[744] Where's the residuals?

[745] He was so funny.

[746] He doesn't get residuals.

[747] That's what you don't get.

[748] But Kurt is like a stage mother.

[749] And when you guys see the commercial, Are you even more excited than you are when you see, like, Wyatt in a movie?

[750] I feel like I'd be even more pumped about my dog being.

[751] I mean, they've got all the horses, you know, and the whatever there.

[752] Wait, is he in the fucking Clydesdale?

[753] Clisdale, yeah.

[754] Oh, my God, he's in like a legendary commercial.

[755] I know.

[756] He was the puppy.

[757] Back then there was a little puppy.

[758] Wait, he's not the puppy from the barn that goes after the whole.

[759] Don't even say that.

[760] Yes.

[761] Goldie, this is the most memorable dog performance.

[762] No, no, no, no. Exactly.

[763] You know what I'm talking about?

[764] It was a Super Bowl commercial.

[765] This little puppy grows up with this Clydesdale.

[766] Then the Clydesdale gets out and then the puppy's now grown up into a golden retriever.

[767] I know.

[768] Okay, hold on.

[769] No, no, it's a lab.

[770] A lab.

[771] Is it lost dog Super Bowl commercial?

[772] Yes.

[773] Hold on.

[774] Is this him?

[775] Yep.

[776] Oh.

[777] Not only is he in a commercial.

[778] Oh, my God.

[779] He's so good.

[780] He just popped up really, he did a really good job.

[781] He's so good.

[782] So this is the other story.

[783] I mean, really.

[784] That's hilarious.

[785] Who else wants to be my child?

[786] Someone just moved to LA is like dying to get adopted by you.

[787] I'm sure there's applicants.

[788] Oh my God.

[789] Okay.

[790] Now, I love the one thing you said about your dad because I have also said this on hearing it.

[791] Weirdly feels dicing now, but I don't know.

[792] I stick to it.

[793] My point with dads is your daughter's going to marry you.

[794] So who do you want her to marry?

[795] Now's the time to be the very fucking best version of yourself because this, This is who she's going to try to go out and get.

[796] That's 100 % right.

[797] And I can't tell you how much it's curbed my own existence where it's like, no, I got to be the person that I hope she ends up with.

[798] You've become more mindful.

[799] And that's what we all need to become because there's an important issue at hand.

[800] And therefore, you stay focused on it.

[801] Because if you are unmindful with your children, you'll see.

[802] You'll come back to you.

[803] The bill comes due.

[804] It really does.

[805] So they're the spoils of our bad behavior.

[806] Are we laughing?

[807] I like that.

[808] They're the spoils of our bad behavior.

[809] I know.

[810] Should we write it down?

[811] Yeah.

[812] There also could be the result of a weird sauna weekend in the west coast of Sweden.

[813] I'm breaking that down.

[814] That could be really dumb, especially when I'm freezing.

[815] Stay tuned for more Farmchair expert, if you dare.

[816] We've all been there.

[817] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers and strange rashes.

[818] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[819] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[820] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[821] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[822] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[823] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[824] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[825] What's up, guys?

[826] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good, and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[827] Every episode, I bring on a full.

[828] friend and have a real conversation.

[829] And I don't mean just friends.

[830] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[831] The list goes on.

[832] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[833] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[834] So this is a compliment I'm going to give you.

[835] And it will expose something about them.

[836] It'll violate their privacy, but I think it's in an unacceptable way.

[837] So you two modeled for Oliver and for Wyatt.

[838] And Aaron is like an impossible angel on planet Earth.

[839] Oliver, wife is incredible they're still together right unbelievable okay you looked at me and i got scared no i'm so with you oh yeah i'm meeting your eyes okay i'm looking at you and my eyes are like penetrating your eyes i love it it's tickling me all over and the spoils of which will be not a child but maybe an interview and then why it's wife who have not yet hung out with but i know so many people that know her and they're like oh she's the greatest person alive so i hope that you feel the compliment of that.

[840] Can you internalize that?

[841] I told this to my brother.

[842] My brother's made errors.

[843] He's done things he's regretted as a parent.

[844] But he has three daughters and all of them are with boys that are madly in love with them.

[845] And I said, David, that's you.

[846] You are madly in love with your daughters and that's what they expect and they will take nothing less.

[847] Exactly.

[848] Oh my God.

[849] That's the gift you can give your boys.

[850] I remember Oliver when he was young, but he was in puberty and he would come up and kiss me he was just 14 or something and he had his girlfriend he'd sit on my lap he was such a love bucket and he wasn't afraid of showing his girlfriend and then he'd hold his bow together and we're very close but that was amazing to see his freedom that way and when I look at the girls I said I think there's one picture of us where we're all behind it's like four blondes yeah yeah yes yes it's pretty it's very it's very it's crazy.

[851] They're awesome women.

[852] They're great people.

[853] I've said, I don't know how I got so lucky to be able to have these as my daughters.

[854] These aren't just daughters in law.

[855] They're my daughters.

[856] You all lived next to each other.

[857] We're family.

[858] And Wyatt really didn't want to be down in the valley.

[859] He wanted to be closer to where he lived.

[860] And sure enough, he's on the house he was born on there.

[861] So, I mean, he came home again.

[862] So now we're all together.

[863] It's amazing.

[864] That's got to be your greatest accomplishment.

[865] I was just reading about, well, A, I saw why.

[866] He was just here.

[867] I know Kate has the house she lived in when she was a kid.

[868] She's in the house I bought when I was six months pregnant with her.

[869] Right.

[870] And I read some interview with you today and I was talking about how you guys will ride bikes to each other's house.

[871] And I thought, well, that's it right there.

[872] For me, the notion that I would be lucky enough to grow older and have my children in bike riding distance from me. And want to.

[873] And want to.

[874] Yes.

[875] No, I know.

[876] I know.

[877] It's very lucky.

[878] It's the greatest.

[879] I mean, we used to take boat trips together and the kids.

[880] who were smaller then, but they were all past everybody.

[881] They didn't want anybody else on the boat.

[882] Can we just do just us?

[883] Yeah.

[884] And that's really, really great.

[885] And that's part of Kurt, too.

[886] It's just a blast.

[887] Now, I do want to walk through some touchstones.

[888] I can't believe that your first professional paid job was dancing at the New York World's Fair.

[889] That's bizarre, historically speaking.

[890] I know.

[891] And then you got on to laugh in really young.

[892] When I left New York, I danced in.

[893] the theater in the round, which is where I met Gus.

[894] That was my first husband.

[895] He's a dancer.

[896] And I was a dancer, and that's what we did.

[897] Do you both just have the best bodies?

[898] Well, yeah.

[899] I wish I somehow...

[900] Let's put it this way.

[901] Strong bodies.

[902] Strong, limber.

[903] Yeah, limber and strong.

[904] And good endurance.

[905] And endurance, yeah.

[906] It was good.

[907] I loved being a dancer.

[908] I love it.

[909] I love it.

[910] I love it.

[911] But anyway, then I moved from there and I danced in Vegas.

[912] So I danced with the D .I., and that was, for people who are not old enough, the D .I. I was like the most elegant, elevated, fancy.

[913] Yeah.

[914] It was the fantasy of Vegas.

[915] It was.

[916] It peaked with the desert in.

[917] I stayed there before it had been torn down and it felt so special.

[918] It was very special.

[919] So that was where we danced, okay?

[920] And I lived way out in the desert somewhere.

[921] And I was 20.

[922] But you know, the story that I have there going to the desert, I was in Anaheim for like two months.

[923] I thought that was Hollywood.

[924] And then I ended up getting to Hollywood with a friend.

[925] And then I did an audition for Vegas.

[926] And the next thing I know, I'm going to Vegas.

[927] Never been to Vegas.

[928] I got a car.

[929] Actually, I up my grade of the car.

[930] It was a Chevy with the big fins on it, and it squeaked all the time.

[931] Like a 57 Chevy -ish?

[932] Yeah.

[933] The car that I had before that, I couldn't make a right -hand turn because my left -hand door would fly open.

[934] Okay.

[935] Yeah.

[936] But anyway, so now I'm getting with the girls that were caravanning.

[937] Now, we're on the 10.

[938] I don't know where I am.

[939] I'm just following the girls, going to Las Vegas.

[940] Somebody had a map.

[941] I didn't.

[942] And I had me and my little poodle, and that's all I had in life at that.

[943] that point.

[944] And so now I get there and all of a sudden I get a flat tire.

[945] All the girls go by me. Oh, they're gone.

[946] They're gone.

[947] See in Vegas.

[948] Good luck with the tire.

[949] And I'm all alone on the 15 or wherever heading for Death Valley.

[950] Oh, wow.

[951] And I'm going, where am I?

[952] So I got off.

[953] I stood on the fins of my car and I waved anybody down because I needed help.

[954] So this one guy stopped.

[955] He was in a suit.

[956] He was going to a date.

[957] And he said, I'll change your tire for you.

[958] And then he got me to the gas station.

[959] And then he took off.

[960] So now I said, how do you get to Vegas again?

[961] And they gave me, just hang on 15 or whatever.

[962] You'll see it.

[963] You'll hit it.

[964] So now I'm in the car, and now it gets pitch black, dark, scared to friggin' death.

[965] There's no moon out.

[966] I'm seeing sort of a little thing of a mountain, or what is this?

[967] I thought, oh, my God, and I turned and I looked to the right, there was somebody hitchhiking.

[968] So I picked him on.

[969] Oh, oh, my God.

[970] The moment you were terrified, you're like, let's put a hitchhiker in this equation.

[971] But I trusted everyone, okay?

[972] Now, it turned out that he was a green beret and he was coming back from Vietnam.

[973] No way.

[974] To surprise his mother.

[975] No way.

[976] This would only happen to you.

[977] People like you that just trust and they're rewarded.

[978] I had the most wonderful time with him.

[979] Did you let him drive?

[980] No. Okay, that's best.

[981] No, we had an ice cream Sunday before.

[982] And it was so beautiful.

[983] Then I dropped him up.

[984] I mean, it was truly a blessed event.

[985] Hold on a second, though.

[986] There's a real man who got back from Vietnam.

[987] and he has this story.

[988] He's like, you wouldn't believe this, but I got picked up by Goldie Hawn.

[989] I wasn't heard of you.

[990] I know you are.

[991] I know you are.

[992] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[993] But potentially years later.

[994] Well, later he's watching.

[995] He's at the movie.

[996] He's watching.

[997] He's like, where do I know this show from?

[998] Well, it wasn't that long, actually, because Laughan came after that.

[999] Right.

[1000] So he was at home with his mom now.

[1001] He's with her.

[1002] It's a great day for him.

[1003] Yes, and just over the years, it's kind of like there's a very famous story about a man who picked up Howard Hughes, had crashed his plane in the middle of the Nevada desert and a man saved him and took him to the hospital and he gave that man a million dollars and bought him a house and all this stuff.

[1004] Isn't that something?

[1005] Yeah, it's like this very famous story.

[1006] I love this story.

[1007] But this guy has a little version of that.

[1008] He's like, not only did she pick me a hitchhiking when she shouldn't have done, we then had banana splits or ice cream sunda.

[1009] I know.

[1010] He's probably a movie star too now.

[1011] Anyone who comes close to you gets to be a movie star, yeah.

[1012] You think it might have been Gene Hackman?

[1013] Oh, my God, Gene Hackman, I loved him so much.

[1014] And he went to buy a house.

[1015] And I went to that house to buy that same house.

[1016] It was in the Valley.

[1017] And then my producer at that time of basically my first movie, Cactus Flower, he said, don't get that house.

[1018] It's Michael Cortiz's old house.

[1019] He had nothing but bad luck in that house.

[1020] Child died in the pool.

[1021] He said, I don't want you in that house.

[1022] I said, okay, I'm not getting it.

[1023] So then I'm having dinner with Gene.

[1024] And he said, you know, I think I'm going to buy that house.

[1025] Oh.

[1026] Gene, don't buy the house.

[1027] He told him.

[1028] Don't buy the house.

[1029] house.

[1030] There's some bad stuff, and he bought the house, and then he got a divorce.

[1031] Oh, there you go.

[1032] He should have you.

[1033] You know, it's like sometimes.

[1034] You got to listen.

[1035] Yeah.

[1036] So you dance in Vegas at the D .I. Didn't know that part of it.

[1037] Get laughing.

[1038] Even if that show was fifth in the ratings, I don't know what it was back in the day.

[1039] But this is back when 30, 40 million people watched the fifth place show.

[1040] So I'm imagining overnight you kind of lost anonymity, at least walking around, no?

[1041] That's when I lost my anonymity.

[1042] That was rough for you, right, mentally?

[1043] What was rough for me was being chosen out of the chorus line on a TV show that I did with Tennessee Ernie Ford, Andy Griffith.

[1044] And these were singers, entertainers, all beloved, and there was a special.

[1045] And we did an audition.

[1046] I went to several auditions for dancing, and I got this one.

[1047] And there were 12 girls, and we were dancing and singing, which means we got more money.

[1048] And I was very excited about it.

[1049] And it was my first show.

[1050] I called Mom and Dad, and I said, oh, my God.

[1051] I've got my first show.

[1052] I'm on TV, and then he said, he's always going to use me, and I'm so excited.

[1053] And then on that show, this guy comes up to me, and he says, do you have an agent?

[1054] And I said, I don't.

[1055] Right now, I don't really need one.

[1056] And he said, well, I'm an agent for William Morris.

[1057] He said, I'd actually like to see you.

[1058] And I got his card and all this stuff.

[1059] And I mean, how many cards did these guys give me?

[1060] Please, that's a whole other book.

[1061] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[1062] Too many things to tell you.

[1063] So I got a call at home from a secretary, and she said, Excuse me. Are you Goldie Hawn?

[1064] And I said, yes.

[1065] She said, well, we're all waiting for you here in the office.

[1066] I just completely forgot about it.

[1067] For me, it was just a come on.

[1068] You thought it was a guy that was just hit me. I go in my car.

[1069] Now, that was the car that had no floor boards, really.

[1070] You can see the road.

[1071] So you see in the ground go by.

[1072] Yeah, it was cool, though.

[1073] Unless it rained.

[1074] Then water would splash up.

[1075] Yeah, exactly.

[1076] I've had a couple of these.

[1077] I wrap my legs in towels because it was so cold.

[1078] Anyway, so I go to where.

[1079] William Morris, and I sit there, like, as my mother would say, a locking cuff, what am I doing here?

[1080] And now he talks to the agents, and he says, I just have a feeling about her.

[1081] And they said, well, I don't know.

[1082] I mean, you can sign her.

[1083] He said, I'm going to put her up for Persky and Denov show.

[1084] And they said, well, she's too young for that.

[1085] He said, that's okay.

[1086] I just want them to meet her.

[1087] Now, this is without me saying a word.

[1088] I'm going.

[1089] Am I going?

[1090] Am I going?

[1091] Am I going?

[1092] And I'm going?

[1093] And I'm going.

[1094] And I'm going.

[1095] What is everybody driving in Jaguar here?

[1096] Now, now I have this audition.

[1097] I brought all my own teapots and stuff to do my own, whatever.

[1098] And then I left, and I went home.

[1099] And then this guy called me, he was my agent now.

[1100] And he said, you got the part.

[1101] And I said, I did not get the part.

[1102] I said, I'm too young for the part.

[1103] He said, no, no, they wrote a part in for you.

[1104] And this was laughing?

[1105] No, this was Good Morning World.

[1106] That was your first.

[1107] That's the first one.

[1108] And that was 26 guaranteed weeks.

[1109] Wow.

[1110] Goodbye, no floorboards cars.

[1111] Exactly.

[1112] I mean, it was pretty crazy.

[1113] That is where I got my start.

[1114] and that is when I became depressed.

[1115] Because I loved being a dancer.

[1116] I worked all my life, never thinking.

[1117] People said to me, what do you want to be when you grow up, Goldie?

[1118] We want to be a ballet dancer, a dancer, a star.

[1119] I just said, I just want to be happy.

[1120] I'm 11, I'll never forget this.

[1121] So the reality is that I never wanted to be a star.

[1122] I was picked up by Alcaps people and picked up by people trying to do the come on giving me lies.

[1123] I just thought everybody in Hollywood is just fucked up.

[1124] Full of shit, yeah.

[1125] And I didn't want to be like that.

[1126] I wanted the white picket fence.

[1127] I wanted a cook dinner.

[1128] wanted to have children, I wanted to teach dancing.

[1129] Was Gus threatened by this new chapter that was presenting itself?

[1130] Well, I don't know that he was threatened.

[1131] All I know is at the pinnacle of when everybody went, oh my God, Goldie, hon, what I want to know in compassionately.

[1132] How can you live with that?

[1133] Everywhere you go, people see you, they don't see him.

[1134] Every party you go to, you're the main thing.

[1135] I couldn't watch it.

[1136] It's brutal.

[1137] Yeah, I had a girlfriend for two years while I was on TV, and I'd see the same people introduce themselves to her seven times.

[1138] I'm like, what are you talking about?

[1139] Two years ago, you would remember her, not me. Right.

[1140] She's smarter than me, did better at school, me is more charismatic.

[1141] What happened here?

[1142] It's so hard for that person.

[1143] So that's what happened.

[1144] There was no harsh words.

[1145] So it was part of the Depression?

[1146] No, the Depression came.

[1147] We weren't even finished filming really Good Morning World.

[1148] I went to New York, and it was an affiliate's thing for CBS.

[1149] And I'm signing autographs.

[1150] I had just left there a year and a half ago.

[1151] I only had my dog that I paid $250, and I had only $50 left in my pocket.

[1152] Of course, I didn't spend properly, but I did have a great dog.

[1153] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1154] It's not generally where you allocate your limited resources.

[1155] I didn't go alone on the big trip across the United States of America and a big plane like I'd never been in.

[1156] To me, I needed a dog.

[1157] Let's put it that way.

[1158] Comfort dog.

[1159] When this happened, something happened to me. And everyone was so happy for me. And I didn't know why I was not happy because I was in a different world.

[1160] I left my dances.

[1161] It was going too fast for you, maybe.

[1162] Yes, first of all, that was never what I wanted to be.

[1163] I wanted to be normal.

[1164] And I used to say that to Daddy, you know, this was after I'd already made it, because he'd come over and we'd have coffee in the morning.

[1165] And I said, Daddy, I just wouldn't have a normal life.

[1166] And he said, go, you're not normal.

[1167] And you've got to realize this.

[1168] You've got to accept this.

[1169] You've got to accept.

[1170] You're not normal.

[1171] Because otherwise, you'll be miserable until they do.

[1172] Right.

[1173] So the expectation, I'm the opposite.

[1174] I had no expectation.

[1175] All I was celebrating was the fact that I was dancing on TV and I was still going to dance because Nick Castle was the greatest choreographer.

[1176] And he said, oh, my God, you're my new girl.

[1177] you're going to be it.

[1178] And the next thing I know, I'm not the it girl.

[1179] I am now on a TV show.

[1180] And then I just got deeper and deeper into what you call panic attacks.

[1181] I can't even describe them.

[1182] And anybody who has had them, you don't know when they're coming.

[1183] I just stayed home in my chair.

[1184] And I drank tea and I went to work because I felt like if I went into public, I would get sick to my stomach.

[1185] And not a lot of tools then.

[1186] This is 1967.

[1187] Exactly.

[1188] Like, no one knows what to say to you.

[1189] that maybe give you a quay lute or something, but they don't know what to do.

[1190] No, this is actually one of the areas now that people are struggling with.

[1191] We're struggling with mental health with our children right now, big time, and no one knows how to fix it.

[1192] There's a malaise, there's a sadness, there's a hopelessness.

[1193] Our children aren't jumping and dancing and playing joyfully with not a care in the world the way they should be.

[1194] I get emotional on this.

[1195] But I'm doing something about it.

[1196] It's the best thing you can do than complain.

[1197] You just want to make a difference in the world.

[1198] But in terms of where I was then, I didn't know.

[1199] And I saw a doctor.

[1200] I found a doctor.

[1201] I saw him for nine years.

[1202] I was so focused on what I call the university of me. I really wanted to know how this happened.

[1203] What is my brain doing?

[1204] What am I thinking?

[1205] And it was very Freudian.

[1206] Of course, in 1967.

[1207] Exactly, which means lie down and free associate.

[1208] Did you ever do acid therapy?

[1209] No, I never did any.

[1210] I smoked a little bit of dope.

[1211] I never liked it.

[1212] I don't like being altered state.

[1213] You're kind of already altered.

[1214] I'm kind of altered.

[1215] You're already high enough.

[1216] You know what?

[1217] It's really funny.

[1218] I've got to tell you this.

[1219] So I'm laughing.

[1220] This woman comes out to me. She's a magazine writer.

[1221] She said, don't you feel responsible for being a dumb blonde when women are now finding their liberation and they're burning their bras in the time of liberation?

[1222] And I looked at her and I said, actually, I'm already liberated.

[1223] Yes.

[1224] You know it's so funny?

[1225] I wrote down this.

[1226] She said, well, don't you feel kind of irresponsible for being like a dumb blonde?

[1227] and, you know, playing dumb in a time when women are reaching out to become independent and liberated.

[1228] Oh, my God.

[1229] And you said, oh, but I'm already liberated.

[1230] Exactly.

[1231] I said, because liberation, I think, should come from the inside.

[1232] Yes.

[1233] I'm so sorry, you don't like my version of liberated.

[1234] Oh, no, no. This is what it looks like for me. No, no, exactly.

[1235] What I'm getting at is that I was never afraid of anything.

[1236] So to be in a panic situation.

[1237] It threatens your identity, right?

[1238] You're like, who am I?

[1239] This isn't who I am.

[1240] Everything.

[1241] These are things we want to share with people because there are people having panic attacks right now.

[1242] And you navigated it.

[1243] I mean, fuck, it took nine years, but you navigated it because you engaged in the fight.

[1244] That's minimally what you have to do.

[1245] And you know what else I did?

[1246] I started meditating.

[1247] I didn't know this about you.

[1248] Do you do TM?

[1249] Yeah.

[1250] Me too.

[1251] It's great.

[1252] It's simple.

[1253] It's beautiful.

[1254] You can do it anywhere, anytime.

[1255] You don't have to have a ritual.

[1256] It's nice to start out with one.

[1257] Become really good at sinking down and actually being incredibly present.

[1258] But on the the other hand, you take it with you wherever you go.

[1259] It's pretty crazy.

[1260] I feel so lucky that I stumbled upon that.

[1261] Just fucking 20 minutes a day of no racket.

[1262] That was kind of inconceivable to me prior to that.

[1263] The brain just sinks anyway.

[1264] So the reality with neurobiology, I'm going to put this down here.

[1265] Yeah, yeah.

[1266] Put it wherever you want.

[1267] You throw it on the ground.

[1268] I don't care.

[1269] I feel like I'm lying down here because it's like, you're making a groin.

[1270] We got to get you a better.

[1271] I'm frustrated back.

[1272] I used to hate it when I was little.

[1273] I didn't look cool.

[1274] Well, that's the dancer.

[1275] Yeah, it's great positive.

[1276] No, I didn't like it then.

[1277] I didn't like my name either.

[1278] Well, you had a producer, in fact, the producer on the first show you were on, said to Goldie, you can't use this name in the credits.

[1279] You sound like a stripper.

[1280] Goldie Hawn.

[1281] Oh, my God.

[1282] What is wrong with everyone telling you that you're done?

[1283] I know, and that's where I met Kirk.

[1284] Oh.

[1285] He was 15 and she was 22.

[1286] And they were doing a show.

[1287] I was 21.

[1288] And he was a 15 -year -old.

[1289] Oh, my God.

[1290] And he's looking at this bombshell dance in this family.

[1291] What the fuck was it called?

[1292] The genuine original family band.

[1293] The worst title.

[1294] There's about six periods in there, too.

[1295] That's the best part of that title is there's a period after everywhere.

[1296] The one and only then period, genuine period, original family band period.

[1297] But he saw her.

[1298] Of course.

[1299] Because come on.

[1300] Of course he did.

[1301] So I go into his office, the producer, who I actually quite remember.

[1302] And he taught me that.

[1303] And I went, oh, I'm sorry.

[1304] I'm not changing my name.

[1305] My mother gave me that name, and it belonged to my great aunt who raised my mother, and I wouldn't do that.

[1306] So you can use my middle name.

[1307] Yeah, to class it up.

[1308] You can say Goldie Jean Hahn.

[1309] So your first credit is Goldie Jean Hahn.

[1310] Oh, I see.

[1311] Oh, wow.

[1312] Yeah, can you imagine?

[1313] Oh, my God.

[1314] But I got to say, you, and this goes back to why I was curious about if you were daddy's girl, because, A, you've been attracted to strong men.

[1315] But beyond that, I look at your scene partners over the, years and it's fucking nuts.

[1316] There weren't a lot of women that were in two handers with Steve Martin with Chevy Chase with you name it your first movie Walter Mathau.

[1317] You go toe to toe with these kind of titans of the era and you are pound for pound as strong and flashy and they think you're cute and blonde and yet you have them in a headlock.

[1318] I know.

[1319] And it's this incredible magic trick that happened your whole life.

[1320] So it's like, yeah, you got to hate that he called her a stripper, but that at the same time, it's a part of the whole recipe that was so intoxicated.

[1321] Warren Beatty, who the fuck can tackle Warren Beatty at that time, 74, shampoo?

[1322] And for you to run circles around Warren Beatty, while seemingly being, oh, I don't know, is a magic trick.

[1323] And you know you're in on it.

[1324] You have to be in on it.

[1325] You're underestimated.

[1326] How about that?

[1327] That's maybe the most concise way to say it.

[1328] The persona was you get underestimated.

[1329] And then when it was go time, fuck off.

[1330] It was very interesting.

[1331] Being underestimated, especially for women and comedy.

[1332] They don't value it the way they should.

[1333] But on the other side of me, I never complain.

[1334] But the thing is, is that with men, friends with Warren, who I adored, I made three movies with them.

[1335] I swore I wouldn't make another movie every time I left and finished the movie.

[1336] I'll never do this again.

[1337] He got me every time.

[1338] But during shampoo, he wanted me to do the movie for a certain amount of money.

[1339] And I had just done a few movies back to back.

[1340] I was tired.

[1341] Julie Christie was in the movie as well, and Julie got a certain amount of money.

[1342] And I thought to myself, this role is a thankless role.

[1343] She's just one of those Beverly Hills girls.

[1344] She doesn't have much to do.

[1345] She's scared.

[1346] And I said, I can't work for that little money.

[1347] I'm tired.

[1348] And I really deserve to have more money than that, Warren.

[1349] You can't make a deal with me. It's not going to happen.

[1350] Right.

[1351] I'm not that charmed by you.

[1352] But this is the other side of me, which says this is not working.

[1353] Yeah.

[1354] I'm cute and friendly and optimistic, and I have boundaries, and I value myself.

[1355] Well, yeah, and I produced movies.

[1356] And there was one movie, Wildcats, where I wasn't in New York.

[1357] We were producing it.

[1358] And I went and I read with some of the people, and it wasn't working.

[1359] And the actors were fine, but I realized this script is not working.

[1360] The words aren't there.

[1361] That's why it's not working.

[1362] And I called Mark Rosenberg, who was the head of the studio at that time at Warner Brothers.

[1363] And I said, Mark, we got to talk.

[1364] This movie needs to be rewritten.

[1365] So Phil Robinson, he said, no problem.

[1366] We'll postpone for six weeks, and we'll get it written right.

[1367] Now, that's the way it used to be.

[1368] People who care.

[1369] Yeah, that would never happen now.

[1370] Today, you know, it's grinding it out.

[1371] You start on this day or you don't have a green light anymore.

[1372] No, it's really interesting.

[1373] Then there were other stories, which I won't share with you.

[1374] But you've got to stand up for yourself.

[1375] Well, that's what pisses me off about the writer for the women's magazine who made that statement about you.

[1376] And this is my own pet peeve currently with our culture, which is it's really easy to say anything and to evaluate and to judge while doing nothing.

[1377] You're doing the shit that becomes a standard.

[1378] You actually impact all the women that follow you.

[1379] That's a real thing.

[1380] And that's real progress.

[1381] That's real action.

[1382] That's not like, they did it wrong.

[1383] They said the wrong thing.

[1384] That doesn't help anyone.

[1385] Until you've helped other women in your life, just shut the fuck up.

[1386] Exactly.

[1387] That drives me insane.

[1388] Everyone's the police now, but they're not themselves lifting anyone.

[1389] They're just trying to tear down other people.

[1390] No, it's very interesting.

[1391] It's the complainers.

[1392] It's the people that are basically addicted to the negative perspective.

[1393] When we find ourselves negative, everything in our life is going to be negative.

[1394] It's just the way it is.

[1395] And if you feel happy and you really work on the fact that you want to turn that negative information that you're heard and I've got to shake it off, you can do it.

[1396] You supplant other thoughts in your mind.

[1397] We have a choice to do that.

[1398] And that's really beautiful about being human.

[1399] We do have a choice, no matter how hard it is.

[1400] And that does change the brain.

[1401] Ultimately, our brain is there.

[1402] It's malleable.

[1403] We change our brain.

[1404] Well, think about the rest of your body.

[1405] If you go up to altitude, you're there for a while, your body starts making more healing.

[1406] hemoglobin.

[1407] It goes, oh, there's not as much oxygen up here.

[1408] I need some more hemoglobin to transport the limited amount there is.

[1409] Every piece of your body can do that.

[1410] It's adaptable.

[1411] So what do you want it to adapt to?

[1412] Well, that's the thing.

[1413] I think today, when you get into where we are politically, we are adapting to the very things that we believe.

[1414] So then that becomes gospel.

[1415] And then it becomes contagious.

[1416] So emotional contagion is very real.

[1417] The idea that you can change your mind is not allowed.

[1418] There's a really good book on that about changing your mind.

[1419] Not Michael Pollan's how to change your mind.

[1420] That's on psychedelics.

[1421] No, no, not Pollan's book.

[1422] But you're right, there's a kind of pervasive, or at least I think there is, and maybe I'm just getting older, that could be the problem.

[1423] But there seems to be a pervasive victimness where everyone would be powerless over this.

[1424] To your point, that they couldn't reframe something or move on from it or rise above it.

[1425] It's all -consuming, it's arresting, and that person has to be removed from my...

[1426] world because it's overwhelming to me. Francis Kurt and I are totally opposite on politics.

[1427] Yes, I love it.

[1428] It's so fun to listen to you talk.

[1429] He's a libertarian, and you're an 80s liberal.

[1430] How about that?

[1431] Here's what I am.

[1432] I'll be honest with you, because what I learned recently, I was a tough mother.

[1433] A tough mother.

[1434] I was tough, and I heard this from one of my friends.

[1435] He's now running Warner Brothers, but he was Oliver's best friend and still is.

[1436] Jesse.

[1437] There you go.

[1438] Jesse.

[1439] Oh, my God, I love Jesse.

[1440] Okay, good.

[1441] So anyway, so Jesse, he said to me, you know, You were a very tough mom.

[1442] You were strong.

[1443] And I went, I never saw myself that way.

[1444] Listen, Katie had parties in one party.

[1445] I came downstairs.

[1446] I was in my nightgown.

[1447] She was having a party.

[1448] It was like three in the morning.

[1449] And I looked at everybody, and I seemed to be having fun.

[1450] So I walked around the room, and I turned out some lights.

[1451] And I said, lighting is everything.

[1452] And I walked out of the room.

[1453] You guys don't have the right vibe in here.

[1454] I know.

[1455] I thought it was cool, right?

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] But no, he said, because you didn't get mad very often.

[1458] But when you did, we knew right away.

[1459] You're the immovable object when you need to be.

[1460] Exactly.

[1461] It was really interesting to find that out.

[1462] But I'm also that way about my product.

[1463] I'm that way about my Mind Up program.

[1464] I'm that way about my movies.

[1465] I was that way with every movie I made.

[1466] So Mind Up really quick.

[1467] You've been working for quite a long time on a project Mind Up that you came up with.

[1468] And you actually have a curriculum that's available both as an app and online and you take it to schools.

[1469] And seven million kids have used it.

[1470] It's all about learning how to manage your emotions.

[1471] But it gives children the ability to understand they have more agency than they think they do.

[1472] Oh, I love this.

[1473] So when they're little, starting in kindergarten, they learn about the developing brain, your amygdala, your prefrontal cortex, and your hippocampus.

[1474] These are the emotional parts of the brain.

[1475] And we learn about what they do, and we learn about how they function.

[1476] And we learn about how to reduce our stress and get out of the amygdala and go into the prefrontal cortex.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] So when you teach these children, it gives them the ability to manage them.

[1479] Our research is extraordinary.

[1480] We've had like 11 research projects going on.

[1481] And the last one is the most interesting is that we did epigenetic study with our kids.

[1482] The most fascinating part of the whole thing now, right?

[1483] Yeah, we realize that our children were able to methylate their genetics, particularly in the area of their brain, better than the control group.

[1484] Wow.

[1485] That kind of research can change everybody's mind.

[1486] How do you create a school where you're building a child, a whole person?

[1487] Because it's not just math.

[1488] It's also give them an understanding how that.

[1489] they can manage their own brain.

[1490] Well, by the way, it should be the absolute foundation, the socio -emotional learning, because if you can't self -regulate, how good can you pursue the math pursuit when you get in to take the test or you're, you know, step one is regulating yourself.

[1491] Exactly.

[1492] So that's the foundation.

[1493] Everything else will be better after that.

[1494] So how do you prepare a mind for learning?

[1495] I've been doing it for 20 years.

[1496] I came up with the idea.

[1497] I didn't even know what social and emotional learning was.

[1498] And now the CDC has just come out and said, mind up is the program you should be using.

[1499] No shit.

[1500] That is amazing.

[1501] My little girls go to a charter school and the whole premise is social, emotional learning.

[1502] And the stuff that they're picking up, I'm like, oh, my God, I had to fucking become an addict, then go to AA to learn the thing you learned in second grade.

[1503] It's mind -blowing.

[1504] The way they navigate conflict.

[1505] Exactly.

[1506] And when I started this 21 years ago, nobody was doing it.

[1507] Right.

[1508] People looked at me and said, you're going to teach kids about their brain?

[1509] And I said, I am.

[1510] And you're going to have them meditate in the classroom.

[1511] I said, no, I'm calling it a brain break.

[1512] It's not meditation.

[1513] Yeah, I know that's too triggering.

[1514] Meditation's too wacky.

[1515] Well, first of all, true meditation is longer.

[1516] But children, we do it three times a day, three minutes each time.

[1517] And after a while, the brain gets used to that.

[1518] Right.

[1519] And then suddenly the brain goes, oh, I know what that is.

[1520] So you just sink right down.

[1521] Do you teach them box breathing and stuff?

[1522] Is there any, like, breathing exercises?

[1523] We breathe in the morning, but we breathe during our brain break.

[1524] We follow our breath.

[1525] And we learn how to breathe in and out through your nose.

[1526] You do that three times.

[1527] All of our educators understand that.

[1528] Breath is one of the most powerful things that we can give our children during the day to settle themselves because of what happens to the brain when you breathe.

[1529] So everything is neurologically correlated.

[1530] Right.

[1531] Once your heart rate gets above a certain beats per minute, the thinking automatically shifts to the miglo.

[1532] It says that we're in trouble.

[1533] We need to be thinking instinctually.

[1534] Exactly.

[1535] Once your heart rate's at 170, you can't think with your frontal cortex.

[1536] No. And all the cortisol running through your body and all that.

[1537] But what we have now is we're working with a cardiologist.

[1538] He's got a breathing technique, and we're partnering with him, but he said, Goldie, do you realize that the closest thing to our brain and the conversation with every organ we have is the heart?

[1539] The heart is the most responsive to our brain, to our stress, to our anxiety, to all these things.

[1540] The heart and the mind have an incredible combination.

[1541] Like the most direct connection in the whole body.

[1542] The most direct connection.

[1543] Yeah.

[1544] Which is why we need to breathe for heart health, aside from eat and do the right things.

[1545] The idea that that is a conversation that the brain has with the heart every day, all day, and at night.

[1546] Yeah.

[1547] So it's a beautiful analogy to beautiful brain and a beautiful heart.

[1548] We want the children to recognize that these are words that are positive and wonderful.

[1549] You know, we've got to look at our verbiage and how we put our words.

[1550] So we have optimistic classrooms.

[1551] We have classrooms kids want to go to.

[1552] This is all we care about.

[1553] And at this point in time, we're looking at, what are we going to do?

[1554] We don't have enough therapist.

[1555] Well, you know what?

[1556] Put this program in every school in America.

[1557] Yeah.

[1558] What is wrong with making that happen?

[1559] Anyway, so that's me on my role.

[1560] I love that.

[1561] Talk about greatest accomplishment.

[1562] That's incredible.

[1563] The bike riding to the family is a little above that for me, but just by like a micron.

[1564] That's pretty.

[1565] Yeah, the bike ride is good.

[1566] But, you know, I miss being funny.

[1567] I really do.

[1568] I bet.

[1569] It's a euphoric state, right?

[1570] Making people laugh, it's like the greatest thing you can do.

[1571] And telling story within that that actually matters, like Private Benjamin or these movies that actually tell a tale.

[1572] It's just the greatest thing ever.

[1573] And I've been really head down in creating this for children.

[1574] And the other part of it is, is that if something great comes along, you can't miss it.

[1575] So I have a script that I read years ago.

[1576] I have a producer coming in who wants to produce it and make a series out of it.

[1577] By God, I'm going to do it.

[1578] And it's really about life.

[1579] It's about death and it's about happiness.

[1580] It's really funny.

[1581] She goes to take her husband's ashes.

[1582] She loses them in India.

[1583] And the rest of it is hilariously funny.

[1584] But it's also a woman who's afraid of death.

[1585] She's afraid of getting old.

[1586] She doesn't want to give up her job.

[1587] She really is on the edge.

[1588] And when her ex -husband dies, he actually is the one pushing her in death through this experience.

[1589] So she can return back to who she lost.

[1590] Yeah.

[1591] Stay tuned for more of Archer experts, if you dare.

[1592] Do you know Esther Perel?

[1593] Do you know that therapist?

[1594] Yeah.

[1595] She has this really cool.

[1596] Maybe it's not proprietary to her, but she deals a lot with people who have had infidelity.

[1597] And a point she makes, which I think is so profound, is quite often you think your partner cheated on you with another person because they liked that person.

[1598] But in truth, they missed a version of themselves that that person allows them to access.

[1599] And I find that so much more compassionate and relatable.

[1600] That's actually more about, I miss a version of me. This person gives me that version of me. It's not really about this person.

[1601] It's true.

[1602] I mean, it takes two.

[1603] really do figure out where your identity is.

[1604] What I didn't like at that point was marriage because people fuse.

[1605] And fusion is very bad because once you start losing yourself and engage in someone else's everything and become too dependent.

[1606] When you have a single identity between the two of you.

[1607] Then there's a loss of respect.

[1608] There's expectation.

[1609] And then a lot of people actually shift mentally when they feel tied up.

[1610] Yeah.

[1611] I always said, if I'm in a cage and I'm a bird and you leave the door open, I'll probably never fly out.

[1612] Right.

[1613] Or if I take a little zip around, I'll probably return to the cage.

[1614] No, does it mean?

[1615] I'll come back.

[1616] I'll come back.

[1617] Yes, yes.

[1618] If you close the door to the cage, my feathers will be gone, and I won't look like a bird anymore, and I wouldn't survive.

[1619] So we have to find out who we are and fly with it.

[1620] Well, I did think one thing I was listening to A, and I love this about you, and now we're to the point where I think the yin and yang is really fascinating.

[1621] And again, I am in a yin and yang.

[1622] I am very much the Kurt, and she's very much like you.

[1623] I identify deeply with this companion.

[1624] Yes.

[1625] I think every dude I meet is going to try to rob my wallet and I'm about to strike, and she thinks every dude we meet is going to cure cancer.

[1626] That's the difference between us.

[1627] And it materializes everywhere.

[1628] But you talk so openly about how many things you end up going through over the course on Valentine's Day of 41 years.

[1629] That was our first date.

[1630] And it could have been our first kiss, I don't know.

[1631] Who knows what all happens?

[1632] happened on that Valentine's Day in 1980.

[1633] We're back in the 70s.

[1634] But I was thinking, and A, I just like that you're so honest about that.

[1635] There's phases and there's twists and turns and you both are in stages.

[1636] I was thinking when I was hearing you talk about it, I almost would guess if you guys had gotten married.

[1637] You actually wouldn't be together now.

[1638] Probably don't.

[1639] That in some of the phases, you would have had to sever that thing and then coming back together or finding peace would have been a whole other weird.

[1640] thing because it's all been framed differently.

[1641] Like, I almost can imagine that you wouldn't have made it 41 years if you had gotten married.

[1642] Ultimately, when you look back on it, I've never asked that question to myself.

[1643] Because what I like is waking up in the morning, and I've said this many times, and actually making a choice to be with someone.

[1644] But, you know, as we go in partnerships, there's time when you don't want to be with them.

[1645] It's normal.

[1646] And people that say, oh, we have loved with the most loving relationship.

[1647] And everything he does is the greatest thing.

[1648] I feel blessed to be with them.

[1649] Yes, I'm so blessed.

[1650] And every day, and I'm thinking, no, I love you.

[1651] I know that you're living in a fantasy world now.

[1652] That's not fair.

[1653] I mean, certainly people have good relationships.

[1654] But it's the friction also that makes it interesting.

[1655] Otherwise, it could be quite boring.

[1656] So the idea is to be able to establish what you want in your life.

[1657] I got a wild guy here.

[1658] Let's be honest about who you picked and who he picked.

[1659] Yes, I picked him.

[1660] Yeah, he's a wild dude.

[1661] I like that guy.

[1662] We don't agree on certain things.

[1663] He was tougher than me as a parent.

[1664] And, you know, I got, why did you do that?

[1665] But we have a very, very strong family because of him.

[1666] of it.

[1667] That was one of the things that gave us things to talk about.

[1668] But I think that if we were married, there probably could have been times when you go, oh, come on, I'm done.

[1669] How many times?

[1670] Yes.

[1671] Because you're married and you go, like, can I live this way for the rest of my life, which I've already signed up for?

[1672] No, I don't want to live this way for the rest of my life.

[1673] That's why I think it could have potentially ended.

[1674] It is absolutely possible.

[1675] The only thing I could say is that I met, meet still, a lot of men.

[1676] Nobody came up to who he is.

[1677] This is an outside guess.

[1678] And we interview a lot of powerful women.

[1679] And there seems to be a pretty common pattern where men are very attracted to the powerful woman.

[1680] They're dazzled by the powerful woman.

[1681] And then once they're a partner with the powerful woman, they then want her to now end that.

[1682] That's true.

[1683] And so a lot of women who are successful, I have such great sympathy for because they either have to get a fucking golden retriever who's not challenging, isn't rewarding, isn't going to really be a partner building shit.

[1684] that's just going along for the ride or an equal that's going to get jealous of the attention they receive and the money they make.

[1685] And so unfortunately, I think for women as successful as you, it's such a narrow field of men that's an equal yet is confident enough to let you shine.

[1686] That's my guess of why Kurt has been in the picture for 41 years.

[1687] This motherfucker somehow has a confidence that he is not threatened by your shine.

[1688] Right.

[1689] He's not.

[1690] There have been times when he would say to me sometimes you're not a CEO.

[1691] You're an actor.

[1692] You're this, you're that.

[1693] And actually, I said to him, unfortunately, I am a CEO.

[1694] Yes.

[1695] Sorry to tell you, but...

[1696] I got to break this to you.

[1697] I hate to break the news to you, but you know who I was when you met me. Yeah.

[1698] My point is, is that he was trying to help me. You can look at that and say, well, that's an insult.

[1699] Or you can look at it and say, he's trying to help me feel better about something.

[1700] You've got a choice of a way to look at it.

[1701] Now, listen, we could talk all day on relationships, but if anybody's listening and they're with a narcissist, get out.

[1702] Right, right, right, right.

[1703] No. What do you think is the qualifying factor of that?

[1704] Because it's not just arrogance or confidence, which sometimes I think gets conflated with narcissism.

[1705] Narcissists aren't born.

[1706] They come out little babies, just like everybody else.

[1707] They're shaped.

[1708] If you take an example, like...

[1709] Morgan Freeman.

[1710] Tritzy.

[1711] He's like the star of this show.

[1712] These are a go -to if you don't want to use a real celebrity.

[1713] Yeah, I know.

[1714] But the symptoms of narcissism is really weakness.

[1715] It's a sad story.

[1716] One of the parent has to be a narcissist, number one.

[1717] So they have to be raised by a narcissist, for the most part.

[1718] I'm not a doctor, it's what I've just read.

[1719] If they behave in a certain way where they neglect you and then they praise you, then they neglect you, and then they praise you.

[1720] In fact, if this is something that you've been told and you're hurt, like I'm going to say somebody that we all know, was put out in front of an organization but didn't give the power of dealing with the money or anything.

[1721] There's no belief in them.

[1722] And sometimes when the children are troubled, they throw them out.

[1723] They don't want them because they're a bad image.

[1724] They don't reflect you.

[1725] Right.

[1726] And that's really important.

[1727] So a child basically will take on the traits of the weakness of how that particular parent made them feel.

[1728] And the only way they can survive is by lying, is by manipulation, by hurting people, by basically never wanting to be criticized at all.

[1729] The minute you criticize a narcissist, they go mad.

[1730] They call people names.

[1731] their victims.

[1732] They say everybody's doing this to me. Can't say sorry.

[1733] Can't be vulnerable because they were raised that way.

[1734] I have a lot of compassion for them and I've lived with one.

[1735] It's very, very difficult.

[1736] It's got to be really confusing too because the love bomb's got to be epic.

[1737] They're really good at it because they bring you back.

[1738] Yes.

[1739] And then they hit you over the head again.

[1740] It's very damaging.

[1741] And men just keep going on with their disease.

[1742] And then women are neurotic because they stay and they become weaker and weaker.

[1743] And they don't have the ability or they're fearful of leaving.

[1744] The books that are written, all of them say not a curable condition.

[1745] And we have to realize that these are not decisions that are made that are sensible.

[1746] They're only made to protect themselves.

[1747] There's no rationality around.

[1748] There's no rationale except that it protects them.

[1749] It's a terrible cycle.

[1750] Yeah.

[1751] We love this show called Couples Therapy.

[1752] Have you seen it?

[1753] With Orna, she's this incredible therapist in New York.

[1754] It's so good.

[1755] There's Three seasons, we're so addicted.

[1756] On one season, there is a legitimate narcissist.

[1757] Wait, which one?

[1758] The handsome guy who is with the girl who is wild to watch.

[1759] Because you realize all the things that have been described, or my understanding of narcissists, like everyone's just a prop in their life to confirm this story and image they have of themselves.

[1760] And when they need that piece of the puzzle, they use it.

[1761] And when they don't, they don't.

[1762] Well, it's their supply.

[1763] Yes, and to watch the master manipulation in the trickery as he's speaking.

[1764] and you can see his partner, now that Orna's there, she can hear it for the first time.

[1765] It's like having a third party present, she goes, oh, right, no, this is bad shit.

[1766] This is nuts, but I'm usually trapped with him by myself, and I start not knowing what reality is.

[1767] And this third person I can see on their face.

[1768] Oh, this is nuts.

[1769] It's so fascinating.

[1770] It's gaslighting.

[1771] Did I say that?

[1772] Yes, you did.

[1773] And they're generally kind of smart, too.

[1774] It's not like they're not good at it, right?

[1775] Well, what's interesting is that now we're talking about men being narcissistic at the most, but women are too.

[1776] Goes both ways.

[1777] But ultimately, the women that actually are in these relationships are smart.

[1778] Very.

[1779] Because they were attracted to someone smart.

[1780] And they feel they can fix it.

[1781] Yes.

[1782] If anybody's listening to this and we keep this on and roll here, I would say, get strong, love yourself, and get out.

[1783] Yeah.

[1784] I smiled for half a second while you were talking two minutes ago.

[1785] and then I thought you saw it, and it was a weird time to smile, and I want to tell you why I smiled.

[1786] It just crossed my mind that when I was at your house in Muscoca, Kurt told me, and he believes this story, and I think it's so comical.

[1787] He thinks only you were famous.

[1788] He thinks that if he wasn't married to you and he was walking around the streets, no one would really know him.

[1789] But he thinks you were super famous, and that if you were out, of course, there'd be attention.

[1790] But in his mind, you were famous and he wasn't.

[1791] You know, I got to tell you something.

[1792] That's what I'd love about him.

[1793] That's so funny and adorable.

[1794] He's interesting that way.

[1795] You know, you're the show.

[1796] I said, I'm not the show.

[1797] You're the show.

[1798] You take over every conversation.

[1799] And you're the show.

[1800] But he's like me in a way.

[1801] Because he was raised to play baseball, raised to be a good racer.

[1802] He was raised to be a good actor.

[1803] And he went like a little soldier.

[1804] He's a hard worker.

[1805] You know, rewriting things, fixing things, making sure they work.

[1806] We are both the same that way.

[1807] We probably wish I wasn't such a hard worker.

[1808] But, you know, you can't create a program that's trip seven million children and not have worked hard.

[1809] Yes.

[1810] I know, honey, but I'm changing the world.

[1811] Can't you see?

[1812] But what I liked about it is when he was telling that story, there's zero resentment.

[1813] Like, that's his story, which is a silly story, first of all.

[1814] It's hilarious.

[1815] And secondly, there was no resentment.

[1816] Not at all.

[1817] And there was no jealousy.

[1818] And that's why I think he's the right man for the job because he has this story that even inflates you and he's still not threatened by it or resentful of it right you know he still brings me my coffee in the morning you grab me the other day and he's kissed me all over my face and i kissed him back and it's kind of like that yeah so i'm really happy i stayed yeah yeah yeah it's beautiful i'm joking but it no over time it becomes its own weird reward.

[1819] Yeah, relationships.

[1820] It's like, what are the seas like today?

[1821] Are they rough seas?

[1822] Are they temperate seas?

[1823] Red sky at night or red sky and morning?

[1824] Exactly.

[1825] Are the sailors taking warning?

[1826] Are we four seven?

[1827] Okay.

[1828] My last question is kind of just an overarching question.

[1829] Thinking about you having your first real paid job in like 1964 at the World's Fair.

[1830] We're looking at 60 years in this business.

[1831] You've seen a lot of the eras.

[1832] Fucking Fred Astaire read the envelope that announced your winning of the Academy.

[1833] I know.

[1834] She had never seen this.

[1835] You know, she was making a movie in London and she didn't go to the Academy where she won.

[1836] It was her first big movie.

[1837] And she still hadn't seen it and Kimmel showed you.

[1838] Somehow, Kimmel, I were on our way to do a thing, you know, for one flight.

[1839] He said to me, did you ever see that?

[1840] I said, I never did.

[1841] He said, oh my God.

[1842] He said, I'm going to show it to you.

[1843] So we dug it up.

[1844] And I saw Fred Astaire, who was my true idol.

[1845] I wanted to look like Audrey Hepburn, but I didn't want to be her.

[1846] Right.

[1847] So here we are.

[1848] He's my idol.

[1849] He said Goldie Hawn.

[1850] He said, Goldie Hawn.

[1851] He said my name.

[1852] And I was in bed.

[1853] I got a phone call and they said, you got it.

[1854] And I said, I got what?

[1855] And they said, you won the Academy Award?

[1856] And I went, oh my God, I didn't know it was on TV last night.

[1857] That was it, you know?

[1858] It was like crazy.

[1859] Yeah.

[1860] And nobody told me the only thing is that I did get a telegram.

[1861] from him.

[1862] From Fred Astaire?

[1863] Back in the day, the telegrams, from Fred Astaire.

[1864] Oh, Lordy.

[1865] But, you know, time is a weird thing.

[1866] The mind doesn't really know time.

[1867] It remembers feelings and it remembers things that happened.

[1868] But, you know, I could say that could have happened yesterday.

[1869] Because my body is responding in such a joyful way.

[1870] I can't explain it.

[1871] But it happened then.

[1872] But for me, it happened now again.

[1873] Which is incredible because obviously feelings are impermanent.

[1874] But it doesn't mean that they.

[1875] can't recycle or come again.

[1876] That's right.

[1877] Because the sad part is that they're impermanent.

[1878] What you would love is to have that warm fuzzy and to hold on to it, but we can't.

[1879] The good news is some, however many years later, you might still get the wave of warm fuzzy.

[1880] I do.

[1881] For instance, today I had a phone call at about 8 o 'clock this morning, picked up, and it was Murali Duriswamy.

[1882] He's a scientist at Duke.

[1883] He's on my board, and he's an amazing human.

[1884] And he was back to Chennai, so he goes home now and then to see his family.

[1885] And he He suddenly called me and went, why are you calling so early?

[1886] What's going on?

[1887] He said, I'm in India.

[1888] We've just landed in Mumbai.

[1889] He said, and we're up here on the terrace looking and talking about things.

[1890] He says, an old friend of mine.

[1891] I haven't seen him for so long.

[1892] He then just said to me, you know who my favorite actress was, was Goldie Hawn?

[1893] And he said, you're kidding.

[1894] We've been working with children and brains.

[1895] He said, I've got to call her right now.

[1896] So I spoke to him.

[1897] He had a perfectly Indian accent.

[1898] He was a designer, and it put me back when I was in India so much.

[1899] It put me back into this warm, wonderful feeling that I had when I was spending more time in India.

[1900] Right.

[1901] I mean, I'm telling you, I was there.

[1902] You were swimming in that.

[1903] I was there.

[1904] So we can do that.

[1905] People who are feeling sad, depressed, or whatever, go look at some things that bring awe back to you.

[1906] We will always remember those things.

[1907] Yeah.

[1908] And those are permanently beautiful things that you can bring back.

[1909] It's prescriptive for happiness.

[1910] Yes, yes.

[1911] Yeah, I like that.

[1912] But starting in the 60s, working all the way through the 70s and the 80s and the 90s, slowing down for some period while you're working on Mind Up, of those eras, which was the most fun.

[1913] And I have to imagine you feel like, this isn't very fun for the new version of this.

[1914] Like, it had to be more fun in the 80s.

[1915] Well, it's very subjective.

[1916] The 80s for me was a lot of fun.

[1917] I had a house in Ibiza.

[1918] It was a wild time.

[1919] my kids were little.

[1920] I lived in a house that had no electricity or hot water.

[1921] I was a hippie.

[1922] I went to the beach every day and one part of my bathing suits the other when I left home.

[1923] And my kids had friends.

[1924] We hung out all day on the beach and then we had full moon parties and we drank year bus and some people got stoned and it was just a beautiful time.

[1925] Well, also that story in particular, you felt this loss of anonymity, which was hard in becoming the observed and so the observer.

[1926] But even in that phase, there were still refuges.

[1927] There were still private moments.

[1928] There were still a life you could be having that was really yours.

[1929] And I think for the Goldie Hawn of today, the Jenna Ortega, whoever that is, there's no reprieve from it.

[1930] It's the phone and you could always get photographed and someone could be recording and then you're posting.

[1931] To me, there's like another dimension now that the already hard thing, now there's zero time away from it.

[1932] There really is to tell you the truth.

[1933] I'm not a hound on social media.

[1934] I try to do things oftentimes on my little post where I'm doing something funny and, you know, bring a little levity to the world.

[1935] But it is for the kids.

[1936] I see them with their stuff all the time.

[1937] Our news, which is penetrating everybody's perspective, which is terrible.

[1938] You can't get away from it.

[1939] And it is so different not having a phone.

[1940] It is so different living during a time where you could go sit, go be, go dream.

[1941] Get bored.

[1942] Get lost.

[1943] It doesn't exist anymore.

[1944] I mean, we took rides and things in Europe, and we were never disturbed with bings or things or clicks or whatever it is on our phone.

[1945] It's pretty amazing when you think of all those noises and how that sound actually can pollute your mind.

[1946] Forget just what we look at sometimes.

[1947] And even when we look at the fun stuff, we get addicted to it.

[1948] It busies the day.

[1949] It makes noise in your mind and your brain.

[1950] There's too many things to process in your mind.

[1951] This is when we're looking at our children who are neurodivergent.

[1952] There's so many things that they're processing.

[1953] It's very hard for them.

[1954] We're living in a world now that's got bings and tings and things and look at this and you've got to see this.

[1955] It's so great.

[1956] We live inside of a pinball machine now.

[1957] It's kind of like that.

[1958] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1959] Why am I happy when the music is off?

[1960] Because for me, the symphony of silence.

[1961] It's like a guru said to me once in India, what color should I pick for this scarf?

[1962] He said, why don't you pick white?

[1963] Because that has all the colors in it.

[1964] And that's how I feel about silence.

[1965] silence is its own symphony sound of energy of frequency and we can listen to that we can listen to silence and i think it's extremely important it's kind of intoxicating too monica and i took a trip during covid with our pod to sidona i was shooting there and we ran in a couple houses and every night our activity was to lay on the pavement the road in front of the house because there was no traffic So the road would be warm, and we'd lay on our backs and look at the stars, which are crazy in Sedona.

[1966] And we would spend two hours.

[1967] And I'm like, oh, my God, I restored my faith.

[1968] I thought I had been permanently broken and addicted to the stimuli.

[1969] But that became not only stimulating, but restorative, too.

[1970] It was just like the greatest little hobby we've ever really had.

[1971] Silence is golden.

[1972] Silence is golden.

[1973] Well, Goldie, listen, you were the last.

[1974] member of the family.

[1975] No, we have not had Roy, the dog.

[1976] Oh, you're right.

[1977] We got to get this fucking show business dog in here.

[1978] Yeah, time's ticking.

[1979] They have a different time line.

[1980] I adore you.

[1981] This was so fun.

[1982] Yeah, this was really fun, honey.

[1983] I was happy to be with you.

[1984] I mean, I was got to say, I was a kid obsessed with Chevy Chase, and then I would watch these movies with you and him, and I'd be like, who's Chevy Chase during this movie?

[1985] Well, look at this first one.

[1986] So.

[1987] So cool for us.

[1988] Yeah, I'm so delighted you came down and I adore you.

[1989] I want everyone to check out Mind Up.

[1990] Get involved if you have kids in school.

[1991] Suggest this as a curriculum.

[1992] What's the website for MindUp?

[1993] It's MindUp .org and it's the Goldie Hawn Foundation.

[1994] Monica loves it .org.

[1995] So this is very good.

[1996] It makes it very reputable.

[1997] Yeah, we like it.

[1998] All right, I adore you.

[1999] Give hugs and kisses to everybody.

[2000] I will, darling.

[2001] Okay, thank you.

[2002] All right, bye -bye.

[2003] Stick around for the fact check because I love.

[2004] They're human.

[2005] They make lots of mistakes.

[2006] Okay.

[2007] So we're about to explain that we're in India.

[2008] But when we first started talking, we just launched into it.

[2009] Like, you would know why we are in India.

[2010] Obviously, we have Easter egg the fact that we were going to India.

[2011] Yes.

[2012] But we didn't say why.

[2013] Yeah.

[2014] And we are joining Bill Gates and the foundation to go around and look at all the different projects that he's got underway, or rather the foundation has on the ground in India.

[2015] Yeah, he's working on a lot of different types of.

[2016] projects.

[2017] They've been here since 97, I think.

[2018] Yeah, there's a 25th anniversary of the Microsoft Development Place.

[2019] Yeah, so we're here.

[2020] We're here with Bill and the foundation.

[2021] And we're not with them yet.

[2022] We're not with them yet, but that's why we're here.

[2023] We couldn't say that until now, but now we can.

[2024] Because we're home.

[2025] Yeah, exactly, because we're home now.

[2026] And we're going to kind of catalog.

[2027] Should we tell them the funniest part of this whole thing, or maybe the cockiest moment of this whole experience, which is basically they asked, would you be interested in joining Bill?

[2028] And we were like, oh my God, of course.

[2029] But as it got closer and we were having more and more conversations with his team about all the logistics, I had the audacity at one point to say, I only want one thing out of this trip selfishly, and that is we must play spades with Bill.

[2030] Yeah, that's a request.

[2031] That's the selfish agenda.

[2032] So updates on whether that happened or not, but the notion that we might play spades.

[2033] And I think we're going to absolutely smash him, by the way.

[2034] I don't know.

[2035] That's a big claim.

[2036] And then he's going to respect us.

[2037] Oh, God.

[2038] He's going to go, oh, my God, they're so smart.

[2039] Or he's going to crush and be like, oh, my God, why did I bring these?

[2040] Why did they want to play this game?

[2041] They're so bad at it.

[2042] Okay, so.

[2043] Now we're just going to launch in.

[2044] Yeah.

[2045] So you're actually going to do a fact check.

[2046] I was just going to say, like, color commentary, our first few hours on the ground.

[2047] Well, I want to do that, but we also need a fact -check.

[2048] Oh, okay, great.

[2049] So we're going to have, maybe on this first one, we'll do both.

[2050] Yeah, we're on a veranda.

[2051] Yes, you and I are in - In Hyderabad.

[2052] Yeah, Hyderabad.

[2053] Okay, boy, it gives me anxiety.

[2054] Hyderabad is what I want to say.

[2055] I know.

[2056] That's not right.

[2057] No. Lay off.

[2058] I don't know how my dad would say it, exactly.

[2059] And we can't get him on the phone because we're in India.

[2060] And he's on a cruise.

[2061] So that would be, it would be a lot.

[2062] But we're on a veranda of a beautiful hotel, and there's already lots of birds.

[2063] Yeah.

[2064] This is a really fun and interesting revelation to us.

[2065] In our life, we've only gone where you go to a new time zone, and it goes forward or backward by an hour.

[2066] Yep.

[2067] But here, it went ahead an hour and a half.

[2068] Mm -hmm.

[2069] And there's probably a reason.

[2070] Sure.

[2071] Let me see.

[2072] It's just so interesting.

[2073] So anyways, sunset, or rather, sunrise was six.

[2074] 637 here, and it is 637 -ish.

[2075] It's 653, as a fact.

[2076] I guess we started assembling the equipment.

[2077] That's shout out to Rob.

[2078] We've got new microphones, and we were stumbling a bit.

[2079] Yeah.

[2080] We are figuring out how to do this day because it was a 15 -5 -hour flight to Dubai, then a layover there, which was a pretty quick layover.

[2081] Yeah, it was two hours.

[2082] Two hours.

[2083] And then...

[2084] Three and a half hour.

[2085] half hour flight to here.

[2086] Two and a half.

[2087] Are you sure?

[2088] I'm pretty sure because I napped and...

[2089] Well, look, we left at quarter to 10 and we got here at quarter to one.

[2090] But it changed an hour.

[2091] And we gained an hour and 30 minutes.

[2092] Yeah.

[2093] Who knows?

[2094] Here's the best way to describe it.

[2095] We left L .A. at 3 p .m. on the 23rd.

[2096] And we landed at roughly 2 a .m. on the 25th.

[2097] Not 24th, 25th.

[2098] Exactly.

[2099] First time I've ever got on a plane and then got off, and it was two calendar days later.

[2100] It was basically 24 hours.

[2101] We left at 3 p .m. in L .A., and we landed basically at 3 p .m. ish in L .A. the next day.

[2102] And we had slept.

[2103] I did shockingly well.

[2104] I have a very hard time sleeping more than eight hours in real life on my bed.

[2105] Yeah.

[2106] And I accidentally slept nine and a half hours on the flight to Dubai.

[2107] I was out.

[2108] Which is amazing.

[2109] We flew Emirates, which was an extremely nice airline.

[2110] I've never flown it before.

[2111] Have you?

[2112] I had flown it once to Dubai in 2012 when I went to Africa.

[2113] Okay.

[2114] And I had flown business class.

[2115] And it's why I got a platinum card.

[2116] I'll never forget.

[2117] Because if you bought a business class ticket, you got one free if you had a platinum card.

[2118] So I was like, oh my God, yeah, whatever it was, $200 a year.

[2119] Then I got this $10 ,000 plane ticket.

[2120] Oh, my God.

[2121] For free.

[2122] Anywhere in the world?

[2123] International, not domestic.

[2124] Not Austin, Texas.

[2125] Not Austin, International, Texas.

[2126] So that's why I got it.

[2127] Yes, and I had flown it, and we flew business, which was super -duber nice, but there was first, and no one was in it.

[2128] And that had bedroom doors.

[2129] Right.

[2130] That had proper, like, apartments, as we were saying.

[2131] Yes, so we have heard lore of the first -class Emirates where, yeah, there's, like, full rooms with showers in the room.

[2132] Apartments.

[2133] Yeah.

[2134] And maybe that does exist, I guess, exists.

[2135] Ours weren't like that, but they were pretty close.

[2136] It was darn nice.

[2137] It was so nice.

[2138] And it was one of those Airbus A380s or whatever.

[2139] It was the gigantic, like, did you notice when we entered, we were like on the second story?

[2140] It was huge.

[2141] But I saw there were some stairs.

[2142] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2143] Okay.

[2144] There was a shower in the main, like, yeah, but it was.

[2145] so nice.

[2146] Like the bathroom was so nice.

[2147] People, I guess you signed up to take a shower but we didn't.

[2148] We decided not to do that.

[2149] As stoked as I was that it had a shower, the notion of shower in the plane felt crazy.

[2150] I agree.

[2151] And I didn't bring shower shoes.

[2152] No, no, it's maybe on the way back I'll buy some shower shoes and do it.

[2153] Yeah, use some slides.

[2154] But yeah, you and I, we've spent the majority of the last 24 hours trying to figure out what our game plan is.

[2155] Because we are 13 and a half hours off of our normal time zone.

[2156] Yeah.

[2157] We're so upside down.

[2158] It's crazy.

[2159] Yeah.

[2160] When we landed, it was 3 a .m. here and at home it was 2 p .m. Mm -hmm.

[2161] And so we're trying to figure out what we're supposed to do.

[2162] And it's sweet.

[2163] We've been concluded.

[2164] We're, I want to stay up all day.

[2165] Yes.

[2166] I think that's the game plan.

[2167] And then go to bed at like 9.

[2168] 7 p .m. 9 or 10.

[2169] Yeah.

[2170] So that it's really, we're on a real schedule.

[2171] Right.

[2172] I mean, we will be having some earlier mornings here.

[2173] The next morning's, 8 a .m. Right.

[2174] So we need to practice waking up by 6 .30 or 7 anyway.

[2175] To do our makeup and our hair.

[2176] Yeah, exactly.

[2177] Got to look great.

[2178] Wait, but real quick about Emerson.

[2179] I do, I want to say something important.

[2180] Me and you got on and we felt like we were in junior high.

[2181] We 100%.

[2182] We looked like we were lost children.

[2183] Yep.

[2184] We did not look like we belonged there at all.

[2185] No, no, no, no. We were walking up and down, peeking in.

[2186] Yeah, I was in and out of the bad.

[2187] I was making videos of the bathroom, and the flight attendant kind of caught me, and I was embarrassed, but she goes, oh, the other one's bigger.

[2188] So I went into that one and made a video to send a Lincoln.

[2189] She watched Dr. Mike, shout out Dr. Mike on YouTube, his main advertiser is Emirates.

[2190] So she weirdly has an awareness.

[2191] Which I want them to be our main advertiser.

[2192] Yeah, me too, if we get to fly all the time.

[2193] But, yes, we both felt very much like we were in junior high, which was a very fun feeling.

[2194] It was fun.

[2195] It's really fun to feel so.

[2196] excited about something luxurious and to feel like you don't belong.

[2197] But it was funny when I was sitting there and I was really feeling it.

[2198] I also realize I feel that way often.

[2199] Oh, okay.

[2200] But in a positive way or a negative way?

[2201] I think this time it was so positive but I think normally it's negative, specifically in fancy things.

[2202] Plain fly, like every time I get on first class flight, even domestic, I feel like people wonder why I'm there.

[2203] Yeah.

[2204] Well, I have that too.

[2205] But they do wonder why I'm there.

[2206] Right.

[2207] For sure.

[2208] But I don't wonder on any other person.

[2209] I do.

[2210] I stereotype.

[2211] If I see a dude get on that's got crazy hair and tons of tattoos, I'm like, well, he's not an accountant and he's not the vice president of something.

[2212] He is a musician.

[2213] Yeah.

[2214] Yes.

[2215] Or he's an athlete.

[2216] Right.

[2217] So I do it too.

[2218] And I'll say this really stung us in the butt when we got off in India and we went through customs because it's my opinion that the guy did not believe we were staying at the hotel we had listed on our customs form.

[2219] And he was like, what's your confirmation number?

[2220] I was like, oh, I don't know.

[2221] There was no box for your confirmation number.

[2222] And then I didn't, I had put my own phone number.

[2223] We messed up the thing.

[2224] We put our phone number.

[2225] We were supposed to put the phone number of the hotel.

[2226] So he sent us away and said, like, you figure out the phone number.

[2227] at this hotel you're staying at.

[2228] And then he also was like, what's your, you don't have an employer listed on your visa, I guess.

[2229] And I was like, oh, my God, it got so embarrassing.

[2230] I was like, well, we have a popular podcast.

[2231] I know, you panicked.

[2232] You did.

[2233] You panicked and said popular.

[2234] Because I was thinking from his point of view, like, give me a break.

[2235] We have a podcast, and that's why we're staying at this nice hotel.

[2236] He would never, he's going to be like even more skeptical after you said that.

[2237] He's like popular.

[2238] I was going to keep that a secret, but I'm going to keep that a secret, but I'm glad I got it out.

[2239] I'm glad you said it.

[2240] Yeah, he, but, and then I said, we're traveling with the Gates Foundation.

[2241] Which was like, threw him under the bus.

[2242] I don't know if we were even allowed to say that.

[2243] You were just like we were clutching for something legitimate.

[2244] Yeah, exactly.

[2245] We had no employer.

[2246] We didn't know our confirmation number.

[2247] We put the wrong in, uh, lots of fingerprints, whatever.

[2248] But I definitely think if I had put on my sweatshirt, which I should have.

[2249] Yeah.

[2250] I don't think he would have been like, as, as, I think the tattoos.

[2251] You also, though, again, so much of it is our projection.

[2252] You fell out of place, and so when he was asking you things, it was confirming your opinion.

[2253] Well, also, we had watched many people go through.

[2254] I knew the pace at which people were being let through, and ours slowed down dramatically.

[2255] Annie sent us away.

[2256] Well, yeah, because we messed up.

[2257] Annie had a lot of follow.

[2258] Well, but it started with you have a confirmation number.

[2259] Do you think he asked everyone if they had it?

[2260] Maybe, I don't know.

[2261] While he was asking you questions, I was looking, and there was obviously.

[2262] this other American.

[2263] They were asking, he was there for the same amount of time.

[2264] Okay, okay.

[2265] Yeah, might have been in my head.

[2266] Yeah, because your fish out of water here.

[2267] Well, also, the tattoos thing is, you know, at home.

[2268] I like that, I've said this before.

[2269] I like that people are like, the sky doesn't belong here.

[2270] That gives me, like, a bit of pride.

[2271] But here, no?

[2272] Here, all of a sudden I started getting realistic, like, I might end up in the, like, where they check your butt out and stuff.

[2273] Like, how deep, will this go?

[2274] And then I thought, oh, this has gotten very real in a hurry.

[2275] Like, I might not be admitted and I'm going to fuck up the whole trip.

[2276] You know what?

[2277] Go ahead.

[2278] Ding, ding, ding.

[2279] This is karma.

[2280] Oh, tell me. This is karma.

[2281] So Anna, me, you, and the girls went to London a couple years ago.

[2282] And Anna's from Venezuela and moved when she was 18.

[2283] So in Venezuela, it's hard to get in and out, and in other places it's hard to get in and out if you're Venezuelan.

[2284] They won't let you.

[2285] And so we went through customs and you made a joke in London and you said oh, she's not with us.

[2286] As a joke.

[2287] As a joke.

[2288] And she laughed but then after she said that was so scary.

[2289] Like she's primed to be very scared in that situation and for it to possibly go badly.

[2290] She's waiting for it to go wrong.

[2291] Yeah.

[2292] And so now it kind of, you've had a little bit of that feeling.

[2293] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2294] And so we call that karma here in India.

[2295] Although I'm reading my book, in fact, the page I read on the airplane while we were in route was saying that we, that Westerners don't use karma right.

[2296] What'd they say?

[2297] That it's not like a tally that benefits you and comes back to you and that that's just kind of an obscuring of what it is.

[2298] I'm not good enough to explain what it really is.

[2299] In fact, they stopped at the park.

[2300] That kind of said.

[2301] In the same way that it's pointed out.

[2302] the inaccuracies of how we say like life is suffering like that's a really incomplete summation of Buddhism yeah a lot of these words are translations for words that there isn't a translation for so the best comp is suffering but really it more means life is change oh yeah life is change and with change comes discomfort yeah and with change comes craving which is just summarized into life is suffering.

[2303] Huh.

[2304] Well, this says, but this is according to WebMD.

[2305] Oh, wow.

[2306] Let's see what the Western.

[2307] Another Western.

[2308] Okay, but it does say, or should I do Wikipedia?

[2309] Probably Wikipedia.

[2310] Okay.

[2311] The word Carmen, which is probably the full actual word, is a concept of action, work, or deed, and its effect or consequences.

[2312] In Indian religions, the term more specifically refers to a principle of cause and effect, often descriptively called the principle of karma, where an individual's intent and actions cause influence their future effect.

[2313] Good intent and good deeds contribute to good karma and happier rebirths.

[2314] Yeah, it's a lot of it's for reincarnation.

[2315] Yeah, like, I think a lot of Westerners use it as like a tally system, like if you've done good.

[2316] Right.

[2317] But mostly every time I'm reading karma in this book, it's talking about volition.

[2318] It's talking about movement and choices and effect.

[2319] Yeah.

[2320] Kind of like that, I guess.

[2321] Well, bad intent.

[2322] Bad deeds contribute to bad karma and bad rebirths.

[2323] Yeah, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism, and Taoism.

[2324] Karma in the present affects one's future in the current life as well as the nature and quality of future lives.

[2325] Yeah, it also goes into, like in this book, it goes in depth into breaking out what actions are.

[2326] Not everything can even be summed up as negative or positive.

[2327] No, totally.

[2328] But it is in effect what goes around, comes around, right?

[2329] Not in a tally, but just like what you put out comes back.

[2330] And so I still think it counts.

[2331] What your actions are going to have effects, I think is the most.

[2332] But effects on you.

[2333] Like, it's not just like what you put out, you cause negativity.

[2334] It's that that eventually will come back to you.

[2335] Which is what happened to you at the piece of place at customs.

[2336] At any rate, this place we're sitting in front of it is really impossibly beautiful.

[2337] There's a little fountain.

[2338] I hope you can hear it.

[2339] There's birds chirping.

[2340] There are mosquitoes.

[2341] We did debate whether or not we were going to take our malaria medicine because we heard it made you nauseous.

[2342] We were seriously considering skipping it.

[2343] I know because we had a friend who just went to Africa and it like really messed with her.

[2344] And my travel doctor said most people take it halfway through the trip and stop.

[2345] So I was kind of like, look, if we're going to take it halfway and stop it, rather just not take it.

[2346] But then we were smart and we said, well, let's just take it.

[2347] You're supposed to start two days before you leave anyways.

[2348] See how we feel.

[2349] We both took it.

[2350] we both felt fine.

[2351] So luckily, like right now, I'm so glad because there's mosquitoes everywhere.

[2352] We would have been panicking, yes.

[2353] We would not be outside.

[2354] I already am panicking a tiny bit because when I went to my travel doc, which was different than yours, I bought a lotion that's bug spray, basically.

[2355] So it's a heavier duty.

[2356] Yeah.

[2357] And then also a spray for your clothes.

[2358] And you decided to scrap that.

[2359] I decided to skip it because I had packed and then I realized I had it.

[2360] And I was like, I'm not going to unfuck and spray all.

[2361] these clothes, but today I'm regretting it.

[2362] Right.

[2363] You wish everything you were wearing had been sprayed.

[2364] I do.

[2365] I feel like the pills are going to protect me. I'm not too worried about it.

[2366] They'll protect us from malaria, but they won't protect us from bites.

[2367] That's true.

[2368] And I get a lot of bites.

[2369] Yeah, but I did put the crem all over my arms where the aforementioned tattoos are, which caused potentially, or maybe not the problem at customs.

[2370] But we had like an hour -long ride from the airport to the hotel, which was, I don't know.

[2371] How do you, like, you have a fantasy of going somewhere and you have a fantasy in your head and you've just seen things on TV and to really be there so interesting.

[2372] Yeah, you tell me and then I'll tell you.

[2373] Like, how could I, I'll give you an example.

[2374] And this is not a judgment of good or bad.

[2375] But when Nate and I went to Afghanistan on a USO tour, we'd be in helicopters flying over the desert.

[2376] And I just kept going like, could I really possibly be here in this helicopter in this war zone?

[2377] Like it does, I don't know if I really let my imagination take me to some of the places I've gotten to go.

[2378] And certainly like flying in a military helicopter with a bulletproof vest on and flying around a compound where the guys were shooting at that.

[2379] I just kept looking at night like, could we possibly really be?

[2380] Like we're in a movie.

[2381] Yes.

[2382] And so very much the ride, I was like, it's going to take me like time to really comprehend that we're.

[2383] We're here.

[2384] It is truly so different.

[2385] So different.

[2386] I'm so happy we're here.

[2387] I was very, I was anxious leading up to this trip, but I'm very happy we're here.

[2388] I feel like it's going to be really, it's going to be really fun for us, and I think it's going to be very good for me and good for processing a lot of things.

[2389] We were at the airport, and I said to you, everyone's my dad here.

[2390] Yep.

[2391] Everyone looks like my dad.

[2392] Yeah.

[2393] And there's all these Indian babies.

[2394] I just want to be clear.

[2395] I didn't say everyone looks like you.

[2396] No, it wasn't.

[2397] It wasn't everyone looks like my dad.

[2398] But everyone is my dad.

[2399] Like, my dad could have been one of these people in this airport.

[2400] Yep.

[2401] It's just very, it's surreal.

[2402] Like, it's a very bizarre feeling.

[2403] And then I have so much gratitude that they left, but I also have a ton of respect that they're from here.

[2404] I don't know.

[2405] It's very, it's a lot, it's going to be a lot for me to wait through, I think.

[2406] Yeah.

[2407] And we talked about this before on a fact check, I think, but I, I'm flagging for myself that I think I'll feel, I feel defensive.

[2408] Like, I feel defensive.

[2409] I've picked up a tiny bit of that.

[2410] Yeah, I'm gonna.

[2411] Like, I wanted to point things out as we were driving in the car.

[2412] Mm -hmm.

[2413] And I just, I thought, I got to maybe be careful.

[2414] My observations weren't to say, like, it's crummy here or something.

[2415] Just like, oh, I'm just noticing all the different things that are different.

[2416] Yeah.

[2417] The three -wheeler tick -ticks or whatever those are called that are driving around.

[2418] People on motorcycles, they're all going like 10 miles an hour down the road.

[2419] That was so interesting.

[2420] There's dogs everywhere.

[2421] There's dogs everywhere.

[2422] I said that.

[2423] Yeah.

[2424] And it's just, it's also changing very dramatically, like, from the airport to where, you know, one mile out.

[2425] Yeah.

[2426] And the roads are really changing dramatically and the whole thing.

[2427] I'm nervous when I'm pointing out.

[2428] things that are different, you think I'm pointing out things that are bad or negative.

[2429] Yeah, I would fear that.

[2430] I would fear that.

[2431] And I'm, I don't want to do that.

[2432] And then I also want you to, which I think you do, but like recognize any time, it's like, oh, that's weird, which you're going to say and you should say, and that's part of this experience is like seeing the differences, but hearing like, oh, that's weird.

[2433] And I crave weird.

[2434] Like, I want, No, but like weird, that's, that's so triggering for me. Because if someone came into my house and there was a, you know, a little Krishna, what's that?

[2435] That's weird.

[2436] Right, right, right, right.

[2437] And it is weird to them, but that's my whole, that's my family, that's my identity, that's my history.

[2438] Like, it's very triggering to hear it.

[2439] And, yeah, it's just, it's interesting.

[2440] And for me, it's my, it's why I want to travel.

[2441] It's like the actual reason I desire to leave where I'm from so I can see things that are different.

[2442] Yes.

[2443] And see how people live differently.

[2444] And, like, that's the appeal of it.

[2445] I'd be bummed if things didn't look weird to me here.

[2446] But weird is different than different, right?

[2447] Right.

[2448] So you're right.

[2449] I could go like, oh, that's different.

[2450] Yeah.

[2451] Yeah.

[2452] Yeah.

[2453] That's what I'll do.

[2454] Yeah.

[2455] But weird for me is not bad.

[2456] In fact, weird's probably good.

[2457] But weird for me growing up is bad.

[2458] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2459] And it's associated with this.

[2460] When little kids say weird, I think generally, it means they're grossed out.

[2461] Yeah, exactly.

[2462] Anyway, this will be very, very interesting.

[2463] Can I talk about the atmosphere, though.

[2464] Right when we got off the plane, it hit me right away.

[2465] The humidity, but it was 3 a .m. and it was 70 degrees.

[2466] It was so breezy.

[2467] I almost said weird.

[2468] We took a very different mode of transportation from the gates of the hotel up to the hotel itself, which was horse -drawn carriage that at night is converted to electric and there's no horses, but in the day there's horses.

[2469] Exactly.

[2470] And I was like, look at us.

[2471] We're in a 1906 buggy right now that's electric.

[2472] I know.

[2473] Oh, my God.

[2474] It's so fantastic.

[2475] It is.

[2476] And I made this observation to you in the car, because we drove through really intense poverty already.

[2477] We've already seen it.

[2478] Yep.

[2479] And we're at this opulent hotel.

[2480] That's here to draw, obviously, outsiders in.

[2481] Well, let's be, also let's acknowledge the area we're in is the Silicon Valley of India.

[2482] Hyderabad.

[2483] Right?

[2484] So it's like this, yeah, they have an infrastructure to support the wealth that's been generated out of all this.

[2485] There's like abject poverty and then opulence.

[2486] And my mom always says that about India.

[2487] Right.

[2488] It's just such a disparity.

[2489] And it is interesting because.

[2490] America normally or, like, historically, doesn't have this, but we're becoming...

[2491] Increasingly, yeah.

[2492] Yeah, it's getting...

[2493] And especially in L .A., where we can see it more and more.

[2494] And I don't know, it's like an interesting juxtaposition to see it happening in a place where people leave to escape it.

[2495] Here's a tricky question.

[2496] I kind of wanted to ask you in the car, but I was nervous to, but now we're being recorded, so...

[2497] what is i hope is clear to you is i don't have pity for anyone like i don't look at that and have pity i look at that and go like yeah that's another way to live on planet earth that's just different from mine i don't know the experience i don't know if they feel less than or they feel poor or anything my assumption is i i don't know one way or another and i really doesn't even lean towards that i think they're bummed like i don't have pity in my yeah heart for anyone here unless they told me i'm suffering and i hate this yeah i almost think there's that's like the naive realism concept and i hate to say at anthro which is like westerners will be like well of course these people in africa want a microwave and a refrigerator yeah there's this assumption that people would want what we have yeah and i i don't have that assumption right if they tell me that then i i i'll believe them i don't i'm not looking around thinking like oh man i can say i don't want to live in that house but I don't I don't presume that they don't or that I feel bad for them.

[2498] I don't feel bad.

[2499] It's layered though.

[2500] It's layered because I agree with you there's a piece of white saviors that like come in and it's like yeah here's a microwave I know you want this Oh it's so depressing the way people I'm like everyone we passed riding motorcycles two up everyone's riding two on a motorcycle which I love no one has helmets guys are texting everyone was happy Like no one was like smiling on their motorcycles.

[2501] But it's, there's realities to poverty.

[2502] They don't lead to long lifespans and education is limited.

[2503] You know, there's all these parts that it's just objectively true are limiting to people who are extremely poor.

[2504] Right.

[2505] I mean, there's no, especially in a country like this.

[2506] This is going to sound like a cop -out, but I'm being sincere.

[2507] So yeah, maybe there's like, maybe you don't go to school, maybe you don't get educated.

[2508] but I would need the pie chart of like depression, anxiety, and suicide rate among young kids in America where they're having all the shit and right here where they don't have the shit.

[2509] I'm not sure that I know which way that goes.

[2510] I don't know.

[2511] But my hunch is the suffering with all the bullshit we have might be as high or higher.

[2512] Well, yeah.

[2513] I don't know that it really equals the thing we've convinced ourselves it equals.

[2514] So yeah, maybe they don't go to school and maybe they don't have as many opportunities.

[2515] I don't know, but maybe they have like three friends like Aaron Weekly and they're having a blast.

[2516] I just don't know.

[2517] I'm not willing to.

[2518] Yeah.

[2519] I don't know.

[2520] I don't know.

[2521] I mean, we're going to be on a lot.

[2522] We're going to see a lot.

[2523] We're going to learn, actually.

[2524] Exactly.

[2525] And we happen to be with the person who literally has studied this the most and maybe would know, like, well, no, here's what they care about.

[2526] They do want clean water or they do want good sanitation.

[2527] They don't want a dive diarrhea.

[2528] And beyond that, maybe he doesn't even have a. a desire for anyone.

[2529] Yeah, I mean, I don't, I definitely don't think his goal is to make it Western.

[2530] I think it's to prevent early mortality.

[2531] And I think provide opportunities within the country, not to then come to America.

[2532] It's like, have education here and build, which it has changed, like, a lot.

[2533] There's a lot of people who would have, like, in my dad's generation, left to come to America, who like, you know, get educated and leave and now they stay.

[2534] Right.

[2535] The weather's awesome.

[2536] Yes.

[2537] I love it.

[2538] Like the Indus Valley, like civilization 3 ,000 years BC.

[2539] I know.

[2540] People have been in cities for 5 ,000 years here.

[2541] Like we...

[2542] Like our country's 400 years old.

[2543] So...

[2544] Versus 5 ,000 years.

[2545] I just feel like I can feel it.

[2546] Yeah.

[2547] We're like new and...

[2548] And I include myself in this.

[2549] I am American.

[2550] But like, we're new and you.

[2551] young and like arrogant and and these countries are even like Europe to us normal like that we're always like oh Europe's so old and it is but then you're here and there's this we're in this palace it's like I don't know how old this palace is 13 ,000 years old wow it's before homerabi wowie wow okay should I do some goldie fans sure good morning oh there's some whiteies coming in There's some whitties, is that how he said?

[2552] Yeah.

[2553] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[2554] Boy, they look like I'm colonists, don't they?

[2555] They're honest to God.

[2556] They literally do.

[2557] They've been dressed.

[2558] They literally do.

[2559] He looks like a cartoon character.

[2560] Okay, so she talks about, well, and this is a ding ding thing because we're having tea right now.

[2561] Yeah.

[2562] I'm going to have so much tea here.

[2563] Yeah, you've already had six or seven cups.

[2564] I've had two French presses.

[2565] Yeah.

[2566] She had chamomile tea during our recording.

[2567] and she said there are a lot of health benefits.

[2568] So, seven of them are, may help you sleep better.

[2569] May improve cancer -related health complications.

[2570] Okay.

[2571] May promote digestive health.

[2572] May reduce diabetes -related health complications.

[2573] May promote heart health.

[2574] Might improve symptoms of depression.

[2575] May ease menstrual symptoms.

[2576] This is a big umbrella of benefits.

[2577] I know.

[2578] That's from eating well .com.

[2579] Almost every chronic condition, we have.

[2580] When I look at medical news today, that feels a little...

[2581] A little more...

[2582] Okay, menstrual symptoms is on this one.

[2583] Okay, diabetes and blood sugar.

[2584] It can lower.

[2585] Osteoporosis, inflammation, cancer.

[2586] It says some studies suggest that camomole tea may target cancer cells or even prevent those cells from developing in the first place.

[2587] Huh.

[2588] Sounds like a big claim, but I'll...

[2589] Yeah.

[2590] But it's on both of the list.

[2591] Okay.

[2592] Sleep and relaxation.

[2593] That one, we know.

[2594] cold symptoms mild skin conditions all right that's that drink your camelmeal tea drink it up okay so she was talking about jumping in what she thought maybe was the north sea oh right and yeah what are the fjords off of yeah the north sea the north sea again it's in that frozen song it is the north sea the north sea lies between great britain Denmark, Norway, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, and France.

[2595] So I think it's off the Baltic Sea.

[2596] Oh, okay.

[2597] And the Gulf of Bothnia is the big body of water between Sweden and Finland.

[2598] Okay, that might be what it is.

[2599] So I bet she was jumping into the Gulf of...

[2600] That makes sense.

[2601] You know what I did?

[2602] I just went to my Google Maps, and I zoomed out.

[2603] But the Baltic Sea dumps into the North Sea, so who knows where...

[2604] If she was in Norway, it would have been the North Sea.

[2605] And then the North Sea becomes the Norwegian Sea.

[2606] Okay.

[2607] She talked about the Greek mythology around spring and summer.

[2608] Yeah.

[2609] Is about Persephone and...

[2610] Being jealous of her daughter.

[2611] Right.

[2612] So...

[2613] I'm glad she flared up and got so pissed.

[2614] And action.

[2615] I'm going to keep it a little closer to sight.

[2616] Okay.

[2617] I had put it on the ground and we had a little interruption.

[2618] our unit died.

[2619] Yeah, so we're back at it.

[2620] Round two.

[2621] Round two.

[2622] But most of it stayed.

[2623] We just missed me explaining the spring and summer, which I'll do now.

[2624] Okay, great.

[2625] This is from Hellenic .org, Hellenic Studies, liberal arts education.

[2626] The first day of spring, also known as the equinox, is a time of growth and rebirth.

[2627] In ancient Greece, mythologies were developed to explain why things in the world occurred.

[2628] The myth of the abduction of Persephone by Hades explained the seasons To the ancient Greeks, spring and summer signified the six months When Persephone returned from the underworld and her mother Made the earth bloom and grow bountiful after her absence When Persephone left the company of the gods and returned to the underworld Her mother's loss was expressed in the bareness of autumn and winter So there's more but it's essentially She was very upset and mourning She was mourning her daughter's abduction.

[2629] Yes.

[2630] And then she went to Zeus and Zeus said, no, Hades is actually a problem.

[2631] Yeah.

[2632] And she was like, fuck that.

[2633] You have Stockholm syndrome.

[2634] He's a bad boy.

[2635] He's a bad boy.

[2636] A baddie.

[2637] So then she walked as a mortal and made the earth barren.

[2638] Can we say someone sweeping with the kind of broom that you like with real palm prongs?

[2639] Yeah.

[2640] Yeah, I love it.

[2641] That's a made broom.

[2642] Yes.

[2643] Not a manufacturer.

[2644] No, no. This is a one -off.

[2645] But it's bespoke.

[2646] It's working better than when I use.

[2647] Yeah, the one I use from anthropology.

[2648] It doesn't work that one.

[2649] Ding, ding, ding.

[2650] Anthropology.

[2651] Oh, my God.

[2652] Ding, ding, ding.

[2653] It really took me a second.

[2654] It's shocking I don't shop there more.

[2655] I know.

[2656] Well, they don't really have men.

[2657] Oh.

[2658] But I should be cruising around there.

[2659] You should pop yourself in there.

[2660] So that was that on that.

[2661] And then what we were talking about Roy.

[2662] Wait, you got a butt.

[2663] I just got a malaria mosquito.

[2664] I killed it before it could give us malaria.

[2665] Thank God.

[2666] It might be because some of your skin's showing.

[2667] We should maybe put some on there.

[2668] I didn't put any on my legs because I thought my long pants would cover it, but then I'm sitting with.

[2669] They're exposed.

[2670] Very effeminently.

[2671] The last thing is Roy the dog.

[2672] Do you think there's men who want to cross their legs like this, but they think it's not masculine enough?

[2673] And then they have to go like this, put their knee on their ankle.

[2674] I'm glad I'm not hung up on that.

[2675] Yes.

[2676] Yes, because it's so much more comfortable the way the ladies do it.

[2677] Yeah, this is hurting your knees if you put your...

[2678] It's not ergonomic.

[2679] No. If you put your ankle on your knee, how some men do it, it's not comfy.

[2680] Although, I did used to notice that Matt Damon would sit like that a lot.

[2681] Well, he's very masculine.

[2682] He is.

[2683] Boston.

[2684] Maybe as he's gotten older, he maybe crosses it more.

[2685] I hope so.

[2686] Yeah.

[2687] Because that all hurts his knees.

[2688] Okay, Roy the dog, very cute dog.

[2689] We watch the commercial.

[2690] Everyone should watch that commercial again, It's very cute.

[2691] Very cute.

[2692] What a natural, not shocking.

[2693] Where does it end?

[2694] They'll have a bird.

[2695] I don't know.

[2696] I guess grandkids are all of these grandkids.

[2697] I know.

[2698] I wonder.

[2699] Busting onto the scene here in a second.

[2700] I wonder.

[2701] Yeah.

[2702] We'll see.

[2703] TBD.

[2704] So that's pretty much it.

[2705] I mean, we're going to be following our time here.

[2706] Yes.

[2707] Updating from India.

[2708] I got to say, we got to acknowledge you.

[2709] This is the moment we had when we were about to fly out.

[2710] We were standing in line at the airport.

[2711] And I said, look at this bizarre turn of events.

[2712] If I told you eight years ago, like, you know, we're going to be Bill Gates' guests in India.

[2713] It's inconceivable.

[2714] It's really inconceivable.

[2715] I agree.

[2716] Yeah.

[2717] It's incredible.

[2718] It's incredible.

[2719] Thank you for this opportunity.

[2720] Oh, my God.

[2721] The places this thing has taken.

[2722] Oh, so special.

[2723] And really only because Arm Cherry is listening.

[2724] Yeah.

[2725] Thank you for listening, guys.

[2726] Yes, sincerely.

[2727] We really appreciate you.

[2728] Yeah.

[2729] And, yeah, stay tuned.

[2730] We'll be back.

[2731] We will be back with more updates.

[2732] Love you.

[2733] Bye.

[2734] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2735] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2736] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.

[2737] Thank you.