#763 - Action Bronson

[0] Ye ha, ladies and gentlemen, ye fucking ha.

[1] That's what I have to say to everyone in America.

[2] Dude, when you get to call yourself a name, like axon, like, how dare you, first of all?

[3] How dare you be so bold that that's your name, action?

[4] That's my name, man. That's who I am.

[5] That's who I was born.

[6] How did you get this name, man?

[7] Listen, I'm just known to be doing things.

[8] I'm just known for things.

[9] It's just too cool.

[10] It's too cool for a white person.

[11] You know?

[12] Dude, I've been watching your stuff on Vice.

[13] And first of all, what a great idea.

[14] What a great idea to come up with that hashtag, fuck, that's delicious.

[15] Thank you, man. Because your Instagram picture is, it is one big fuck that's delicious.

[16] I know.

[17] It's crazy.

[18] Your Instagram page, rather.

[19] It's awesome.

[20] You wouldn't expect it from a rapper slash food trend.

[21] traveling human being such as myself.

[22] I would expect exactly that.

[23] Yeah?

[24] Yeah, that's exactly what I expect from you.

[25] All right.

[26] Yeah.

[27] I think I've got you figured out.

[28] You put the thumb on me already?

[29] Shit.

[30] It's a good thing, though.

[31] I'm a fan.

[32] I like what you're doing.

[33] Well, do you think that people try to define you?

[34] Is that what it is?

[35] It's like people look at you and they try to dismiss you or what is it?

[36] I don't think they try to dismiss me, but I feel that people try to define you, of course.

[37] Put you in a box, right?

[38] Of course, but I'm not the one that's ever to be put in a box.

[39] There hasn't been any person like me ever And there probably, you know, there will be someone like me Coming along, but Are you the white Kanye?

[40] Def, I'm the I'm the slightly tan Adiano Slani, aka Action Bronson.

[41] So you're traveling around How many of these restaurants are you visiting?

[42] How many of these shows you're doing for Vice?

[43] We already did eight episodes of the first season.

[44] We got picked up for a second.

[45] We're going to be doing 12 episodes for the second.

[46] Shit, I'm trying to sign a long -term deal.

[47] Seven years, 138 million around there, a couple of incentives.

[48] Well, it's a great idea, man. And in the future, things like what you're getting on, like, vice .com or these YouTube pages that people just can, you can do your own show like that.

[49] Yep.

[50] And it can get gigantic.

[51] Like, it can get almost bigger than I could ever get on TV because you can download it and watch it any time you want.

[52] Well, that's the issue I'm having right now because we've become such a, like, a global.

[53] show that we're now on VICE's television network that is about to start on March 3rd, I mean on February 29th called Vicerland.

[54] And I have some quarrels about it to tell you the truth because it's only going to be in North America.

[55] And I mean, people are going to get what they want.

[56] So obviously they're going to download it, touring it, whatever they're going to do.

[57] But it's necessary for it to be on YouTube.

[58] I stress that with every video that I ever do, it is totally necessary.

[59] necessary to be on YouTube because everyone needs access to it.

[60] You could be right here.

[61] You want to show me something.

[62] Boom.

[63] Type it right in.

[64] You can show it to me. We don't have to go to the TV, see what time it comes on.

[65] You know, I know they have on demand, but still, it's a fucking process.

[66] It's easier.

[67] Yeah, it's so universal.

[68] It's where everyone goes.

[69] Yeah, it's like you wake up in the morning and you go to YouTube for some shit.

[70] You listen to some music.

[71] You put a mix on.

[72] You watch some highlights for some shit.

[73] well you have it in your TV now you know if you have Apple TV it's one of the apps it's just it's so easy to use it's pretty much making TV obsolete well between that and Netflix and Hulu and all these different online providers where you could access it's super easy now on your television and especially if you have one of those Apple TVs yeah so easy to get and this is just what's going to be like a decade from now man I mean you're going to be able to talk to your TV and say action bronze and they'll just pull up what would you like to know I would like to listen to his best shit That's right Bing It'll be right there His best shit Yeah I mean It's gonna be It's gonna be able to Easily decipher what you're saying Because right now they're pretty fucking good Have you like fucked with Siri at all And asked Siri questions?

[74] I mean it's it gets pretty next level This guy right here It's like the tech guy So I leave it to him There's like 7000 apps and this shit and that is fucking games all day long.

[75] Do you have a flip phone?

[76] I did.

[77] Did you really?

[78] My friend's phone was the Star Tech.

[79] I have one of those.

[80] Motorroller Star Tech.

[81] My friend Ari Shafir went back to the flip phone.

[82] Yeah?

[83] Yep.

[84] He's like, fuck all you people.

[85] You're losing your mind.

[86] He's like, he's a smart dude.

[87] He is right.

[88] He's right, because I'm a fucking slave.

[89] There's no doubt about that I go on.

[90] I'm on Twitter.

[91] When I wake up, I just put it on to see what the hell's going on.

[92] It's upsetting.

[93] Everybody's a slave to that thing.

[94] That thing's monstrous But awesome Right It's incredible Well the amount of data That you can just get On anything Instantly Tell me about Kettlebells Tell me about Airplane Who invented the first Dron Just boom And you just start Going through All this Like a weird Chinese guy probably Yeah And we were talking about this Yesterday How like a YouTube video Now recommends And starts playing The next YouTube video Like you just sit there It's Sort of like Netflix does with like a series he'll just start playing the next one's like sit down bitch where you going you ain't go he trapped you playing automatically like playing for you and you two does that all the time now things related yeah things that are slightly related yeah you discuss i mean just from make to make music using youtube has become a pleasure you know it's like it's a new age of digging in the crates you have to search pages for rare shit and see make sure or no one, you know, no one else has used it.

[95] And it's like a never -ending catalog of musical talent from all over the globe.

[96] Yeah.

[97] So unbelievable.

[98] From the early opera singers.

[99] Shit, from...

[100] You can listen to anything.

[101] From any...

[102] They have, from the early 1900s, the first recording somehow.

[103] That's insane.

[104] I know.

[105] Yeah.

[106] It's insane to think that they figured out how to put sound on a, a black plastic disc that made it so awesome.

[107] And they figured how to do that when we were apes.

[108] You know, I mean, people were, like, in comparison to today, like the amount of technology they had then, this is like the early 1800s they figured out how to do that, right?

[109] Like, what year was it they invented the phonograph record player?

[110] Remember they used to have that big hoop?

[111] Yeah, the hoop.

[112] The big, like, a tuba looking thing.

[113] And you would sit on it, and the sound would come off the record through that tuba thing.

[114] Yeah, they had something before that I was looking up right now.

[115] In 1877, Edison had this thing that they recorded on tinfoil.

[116] I'll show you what looks like.

[117] So when 1877?

[118] It's all cylinders.

[119] There's a video from like tech TV where some guy drops one.

[120] It's like an old viral video from the early 2000s.

[121] Jesus Christ.

[122] He dropped it and broke it?

[123] Yeah.

[124] Oh, the fuckhead.

[125] What a fucking asshole.

[126] Wow.

[127] It's unbelievable.

[128] It says it's a coronet solo on a wax cylinder.

[129] Well, if that was done today, I'd want my fucking money back.

[130] I'd be like, you shitty audio engineer, you foot.

[131] What did you keep your phone in your pocket and record it from there?

[132] But listening to that, it sounds, when you consider the time, it sounds amazing.

[133] So what was the first phonograph?

[134] What year was that invented?

[135] Why don't I feel like it was the 1800s?

[136] Am I wrong or is it like way earlier than that?

[137] I think it was at the end of the 1800s.

[138] The end of it.

[139] They used to look so wild with that big tube thing that came out of it.

[140] Yep.

[141] But they haven't really figured out how to make it sound better than the record does.

[142] No?

[143] What has the difference?

[144] Because some people say it's bullshit.

[145] Some people say it's just fetishism and some people who are real audiophile type, they're all kind of agreed as like a different kind of sound.

[146] Well, it's what everyone explains to me and now I understand it's a warmth.

[147] Yeah.

[148] There's a warmth to it.

[149] You know, it's easier on the ear than, say, the electronic music and the digital.

[150] shit of today.

[151] It's a little bit more harsh.

[152] The older stuff was toned better and I don't know it's just the plastic, the vinyl does something.

[153] Something to it.

[154] The people of the real like audio freaks all seem to agree on that right?

[155] For sure.

[156] But there's a lot of...

[157] It's something about tape recording directly to two inch tape using this thing, this big machine.

[158] Nowadays we just go right into the computer through whatever.

[159] I don't know what the fuck.

[160] Like an M -box or...

[161] Right.

[162] So what, Jamie, you're one of the people that doesn't think it makes them much of a difference, right?

[163] And it's just up to what, at this point, it's what you're hearing.

[164] So, like, people today are trained to hear things off of iPhones and iTunes, like, MP3s, that compression, we're used to hearing it.

[165] So being told that something else sounds better, it's like you're trying to tell them they don't, you know, you can't.

[166] It's all about the compression.

[167] The compression makes everything sound full and smooth.

[168] Is it possible that it's more familiar?

[169] sound?

[170] Is that why it's...

[171] Sort of, yeah.

[172] Like, they're even mixing things now.

[173] You'll see it's mastered for iTunes.

[174] It's mastered to be heard through those little two earbuds, not through a giant sound system at home for giant speakers with subwifers and whatnot.

[175] Absolutely correct.

[176] Interesting.

[177] Everything is more personal now.

[178] No one never drives down the street anymore.

[179] Blast in the music.

[180] The fuck happened to that.

[181] You know?

[182] You used to go, when you got the car, you used to have to go and buy the humongous speakers to put in the bitch.

[183] I think people started going deaf.

[184] Whatever.

[185] If you're driving around with ear plugs on and you're blasting music, it's kind of a douche move.

[186] Right?

[187] If it's so bad it hurts your ears, you have to put ear plugs in?

[188] There's this guy in my neighborhood that just drives around every Sunday in a piece of shit Cadillac with a bow on the front playing all types of Frankie Valley at the loudest the loudest volume that could possibly be and just singing along it's incredible.

[189] It's his ritual every Sunday.

[190] You really are right.

[191] because it used to be like every stoplight, you would hear, you'd feel like your car vibrate.

[192] Those people that go crazy with the subwifers to the point where you feel it in the air around you.

[193] Fucking mirrors are rattling.

[194] Yeah, I love it.

[195] Do you love it?

[196] No, it's terrible, but...

[197] Have you ever been in a vehicle with the ship turned up all the way?

[198] If you sit in the backseat where the subwifers is, it feels like it's coming through your chest like your fucking heart is about to explode with that bass yeah especially if you play like dip set or something like some sort of some sort of EDM you know like some crazy house music you literally go through a trance well you know what else went out dudes with the crazy the crazy wagon rims those wagon wheel rims everybody was like how many potholes were going to hit yeah the rims you can't have a 28 inch rim.

[199] What the fuck is this?

[200] These ridiculous ribs are these tires are like a piece of bubble gum.

[201] Yeah, yeah, the run flats, thinnows.

[202] I can't do it, man. I got some schmits on my car.

[203] What's a Schmidt?

[204] There's some German rims that you could fucking tank could roll over them shits and they'll be all right.

[205] You can literally drive the car without rubber wheels on it, just on the rims.

[206] What?

[207] Yeah.

[208] What kind of wheels of these?

[209] They were schmits.

[210] You could look them up.

[211] There's a schmits.

[212] That's crazy.

[213] You can drive them on the road?

[214] Yeah, those over there on the left.

[215] Up, yep, those.

[216] That's a, what kind of car do you have, man?

[217] A BMW wagon, five series 95.

[218] That's a nice.

[219] Those years of like the nicest years.

[220] Yeah, for sure.

[221] BMW M -5s and the five series.

[222] I love those.

[223] Doesn't Tony have one of those?

[224] Hinchcliff has one of those?

[225] They say that, like, the five series BMW from like there's like two errors like there's the one they have now, the one they had before and then the one they had before that and that's where you're at yeah I mean the 95 one is the one right before they change the body yeah those are like classic cars man there's Tony has a five series from there and I have another friend it was a three series from there like those cars were something special man they just figured out a way to make them They handle so good They break so good The right amount of weight They're not too heavy Exactly You get like a good movement with them And they're metal Yeah look at that thing They're fucking metal Exactly That's the M5 from that era That's a beauty That car was a piece of genius That's a beauty right dude There's a fucking crazy video That someone put out That I could barely watch man It's some asshole In some other country I don't know what country he's in But he's in an M5 One of those That series And he's driving through traffic like a fucking maniac like you watch it you just go Jesus you're holding on to the chair right He burns it into the oncoming lane Cuts in front of people I mean he is doing some fucking crazy shit Really fast But driving like a wizard Like going around corner sideways He must be a race car driver Yeah yeah There's no way he's not a race car driver Oh this is it Jesus Christ Jamie How dare you This motherfucker is nuts Look at this Man Watch this Look at this Oh shit he's just He's drifting.

[226] Yeah, he's drifting.

[227] Oh, that's a beauty, too.

[228] He's going around people.

[229] He's wild and out.

[230] I mean, look how he's driving.

[231] Where is this?

[232] This fucking guy speeding while people are walking across the road, and he doesn't give a fuck.

[233] Look at this.

[234] Oncoming, doesn't give a fuck.

[235] This guy is fucking crazy.

[236] Look at this shit.

[237] He's killing it.

[238] Look at this.

[239] Where is this?

[240] I don't know where it is.

[241] They have those crazy long European license plate stuff.

[242] But look at the way this motherfucker drives.

[243] Oh!

[244] What is this?

[245] For People if they want to watch it.

[246] BMW M5 Need for Drive .com.

[247] Last Illegal Street Racing and Drift Driver Georgie Tevzadrize.

[248] Oh, he just died.

[249] Look at this.

[250] Did he?

[251] Yeah, he just died.

[252] I think he just did some crazy shit in the whip.

[253] He died in this car, actually.

[254] Come on.

[255] Check it out.

[256] Oh, my God.

[257] I think it's RIP, Georgie.

[258] How do you say his name again?

[259] Georgio Tevzadzi.

[260] Tevzadze.

[261] Yeah, Georgia Tevzadze.

[262] I think he's dead.

[263] R .I .P. There he is.

[264] I saw he died in the Burgundy Bima.

[265] Jesus Christ.

[266] He died in the Burgen -E -F.

[267] Infamous BMW Street Drifter Drieser dies in crash.

[268] Outside the Barclay?

[269] Oh, no. Holy shit.

[270] He was 26 years old.

[271] Yep.

[272] What a nut, man. He was leaving a restaurant in Georgia with a sober driver at the wheel, the M -5.

[273] skidded at what appears to be a high speed into a tree on the right hand side of the car Teb Zadzzi died Those driver appears to be fine Oh he wasn't driving That is ironic Damn it's not That's like Alanis Morissette ironic Isn't it ironic That's not ironic But it's not ironic But it's kind of fucked You know Kinnison was killed by a drive drunk driver.

[274] And Kinnison used to have those bits about drinking and driving.

[275] Mm -hmm.

[276] You know, we're going to do it.

[277] We're going to drink.

[278] We're going to drive.

[279] We're going to pull it off.

[280] You know what?

[281] We do it every fucking night.

[282] The crowd would go crazy and people get so mad.

[283] They were like, this guy is encouraging drunk driving.

[284] Like, what the fuck?

[285] And then, boom, he gets killed by a drunk driver.

[286] Like, fucking karma.

[287] Yeah, I don't know if karma is real, but God damn, there's a lot of evidence out there.

[288] You know, it's just a saying, you know.

[289] One of those things.

[290] Like, I swear to God.

[291] It ain't real.

[292] But it's one of those things.

[293] Like an American slang word.

[294] Karma is a motherfucker, though.

[295] It is.

[296] And that statement, karma is a motherfucker.

[297] It's like one of the best statements.

[298] As far as, like, when shit goes down like that, you're like, oh, man. But, you know, nobody wishes that on somebody.

[299] Especially if you're a driver and you're like, you know, he's probably like, bitch, this would have never happened if I was at the wheel.

[300] Never.

[301] Fucking Georgie.

[302] The way that guy drived?

[303] That was insane.

[304] I mean, it's horrific to watch.

[305] Definitely shouldn't be allowed to do it.

[306] What about the videos of the fucking Russian dudes climbing the buildings?

[307] I was just going to say something about that.

[308] Some new dude, I put one up on my Instagram page.

[309] I put like two of them in a row.

[310] They were fucking freaking me out.

[311] And this dude contacted me through Twitter and said hi.

[312] Like, his, his stunts are, he's insane.

[313] And he's got YouTube videos of these things, too.

[314] You just, they're insane.

[315] I mean, he's on, like, the Eiffel Tower or some shit, right?

[316] Oh, I saw that one.

[317] Is that, what is it?

[318] Is that in Paris that he's on that top of that tower?

[319] He's insane.

[320] He makes your fucking palm sweat.

[321] It makes like, God.

[322] It's like, what the fuck?

[323] Dude, it makes every fucking cell on your body just starts vibrating.

[324] Like, get away from the head.

[325] Get away.

[326] It's heavy.

[327] I don't get that.

[328] man if I was in that shape and I probably would try it too would you really yeah but they're in crazy shape you see them doing look at this too pull -ups and look at this oh my god oh my god oh this is in New York I guess is this New York Dubai yeah it looks like oh my god look at the edge this is not good James Kingston's his name he's crazy American dude oh my god you know what a guy like this, I would just like for him to just retire right now.

[329] Look, he did it.

[330] Congratulations.

[331] Let's not keep doing this.

[332] Let's just not keep doing this.

[333] Look at this fuck.

[334] Oh, my God.

[335] Look at this dude.

[336] Oh, my God.

[337] He's doing chin -ups on this thing.

[338] Oh, my God.

[339] He's one -handed it.

[340] Dude, please stop.

[341] I can't do this.

[342] I can't do this.

[343] Oh, fucking Christ.

[344] Oh, my God.

[345] Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

[346] Dude.

[347] Okay.

[348] For people who are, uh, his name, the James Kingston on Instagram.

[349] That's his page.

[350] And, uh, I don't feel so good.

[351] The way he was holding on the, it was a thick -ass bar.

[352] He's with one arm.

[353] He's hanging with one arm.

[354] He's like a mile in the sky.

[355] Oh.

[356] Dude, stop it, Jamie.

[357] Stop it.

[358] I can't do it.

[359] Oh, my God.

[360] Flat -footed?

[361] Oh, my God.

[362] What?

[363] Oh, my God.

[364] he just jumped from one building to another look at this not even a running start this is insane that is insane how does he do that like i would splatter i would never make it that far how's he making it in that far he had some good thrust the momentum than the thrust but that seems like an insane amount of distance to travel doesn't it how the fuck does he judge that how does he jump and land like that you got a crazier one look at james trace.

[365] Look at this.

[366] Look at this.

[367] Oh, there's no way.

[368] He just jumps across a building.

[369] How is that possible, man?

[370] How is that possible?

[371] And this is one of his favorite jumps in the city, apparently.

[372] Come on, son.

[373] You know, like, this doesn't make any sense.

[374] At the end of the day, man. How is that possible?

[375] If I could, I would.

[376] It's like when skateboarding, like, once Tony Hawk does the 900, Once you see it done, everyone else can just start doing it.

[377] But I just look, I'm shocked by the distance he's covering.

[378] I guess what's going on is like the distance of one building, it's far away, but it's also higher.

[379] So in his leap, if he gets a good spring, his arc will carry him over.

[380] But he's got to judge that perfectly.

[381] Like you have to, there's no room for error whatsoever.

[382] This is what it looks like sideways?

[383] Oh shit Look how far he's jumping man That's insane That's an insane amount of space He's covering When he lands on that edge Like that kid He must be like I mean I don't know how much he weighs But he must be insanely strong For his weight And he can just throw his body Through the air like that He must have just Ridiculous explosion Out of his legs And then land so lightly That's freakish I guess it's those things Like, if you just concentrate on only doing that, you can do it in a way that doesn't make sense to someone like you or me or, you know, I can't even ice skate.

[384] How we're doing?

[385] Are you serious?

[386] I can't ice skate at all.

[387] What the fuck?

[388] I'm, I could ice skate incredibly, man. I'm fucking, I can't ice skate.

[389] It's $2 .85 on a good day.

[390] First of all, I can't find shoot when I don't have my own ice skates, so I have to rent ice skates.

[391] It's for the same reason why I couldn't ski for years.

[392] The rentals are fucking shitty.

[393] Well, it's not just that.

[394] My feet are too wide.

[395] So if I had a regular size 11, my feet, I have someone in my background fucked a monkey.

[396] I don't know when it was.

[397] Big fucking big foot foot.

[398] Long time ago.

[399] Like when you shouldn't be able to fuck monkeys anymore, someone just went back in for one more shot.

[400] And fucked a monkey.

[401] Guaranteed.

[402] It was like the last, like last call for evolution.

[403] Last car.

[404] And one of my ancestors just snuck.

[405] back in and got one more nut off.

[406] But my feet are just too wide.

[407] So I get in those things, I'm just in agony, and I just never learn how.

[408] And I'm not gonna, it's not interesting enough for me to go out and buy ice skates.

[409] You know, if I was like, this is it.

[410] This is something I have to conquer.

[411] Then I would have to learn how to ice skate.

[412] It was much more exciting as a youth.

[413] Fucking roller, like, not rollerblading, fucking ice skating to Green Day, shit like that.

[414] You know what I mean?

[415] That's right.

[416] They play loud music and you spin around the ice.

[417] Yeah.

[418] See, I guess hockey would be the reason to do it.

[419] Like if you wanted to learn how to play hockey.

[420] Well, I'm saying you pretend you're doing hockey moves.

[421] You know, like you're on the ice, snowing.

[422] When you're stopping, you throw the snow at people.

[423] You know the...

[424] Right.

[425] That's a cool move.

[426] Yeah, exactly.

[427] So it's like you wear the hockey skates.

[428] You definitely don't wear the figure skating ones.

[429] No chance.

[430] No, you don't...

[431] What's the difference?

[432] Well, they have the...

[433] Bikes in the front so you can do the triple toe luts.

[434] You don't want anybody seeing your spikes.

[435] Well, you're going to, when you go straight, you have to lift a little bit, and you're going to fall on your face.

[436] The hockey is a little curvature, like a running shoe.

[437] It just allows you to maneuver to the ice.

[438] So it allows you to maneuver better, but it doesn't allow you do tricks.

[439] You can't do a stop and then triple toe luts or like a Scott Hamilton flip.

[440] So are they doing flip?

[441] and when they do those spins on the ice, they're doing them with, like, special skates?

[442] Is that what the deal is?

[443] For sure, Brian Boychano.

[444] Do you remember South Park?

[445] Of course.

[446] What would Brian Boitano do?

[447] Oh, my God.

[448] Love it.

[449] That was like one of their first episodes, right?

[450] Was it the first one?

[451] God, that was funny, man. That was going around as a VHS tape back in the day.

[452] That was one of those things where a buddy of mine said, you have to see this, check this out.

[453] These guys made this video.

[454] It was Jesus and Brian Boitano, right?

[455] Mm -hmm.

[456] Who else was in it?

[457] Santa.

[458] Santa.

[459] That's right.

[460] Whatever it was, it was fucking hilarious.

[461] And it was way before its time, you know?

[462] What was the year the first South Park tape was made?

[463] When you find out how long those guys have been around.

[464] This was made in 1992.

[465] Jesus Christ.

[466] Dude.

[467] They've been killing it since 92.

[468] Ninety -two.

[469] South Park came out at 92?

[470] Well, no, the spirit of Christmas is what that was called.

[471] I think that show came out in like 97.

[472] Okay, yeah.

[473] Did it come out that much later, really?

[474] God, it was so funny.

[475] I must have got it after.

[476] If they did it in 92, I didn't move here until 94, and I know that I got it when I was living in Encino because I remember popping in it when a friend came over.

[477] It was amazing.

[478] You had a bar?

[479] He had to lend you the tape?

[480] Somebody gave it to me. I don't remember how I got the tape, but I remember somebody gave it to me and said, you got to watch this and then I remember popping in a VCR for my friend it was so ridiculous it was super funny it was really crude I almost wish he would go back to doing it this way you know because it was so obvious that it was you know just really shitty animation like look at the mouth movements it's more it's still shitty but it's more sophisticated now right it's sophisticated shitty yeah and this is I bet the amount of time it took to do this was probably ridiculous though you know like the Team America I think he said he would never do one of those movies again because it was just way too time consuming I mean it was a pretty incredible fucking movie it's one of my favorites ever yeah it's one of my all -time favorites we were talking about like movies that are funnier than Tropic Thunder and it's probably none are funnier like in moments like it's as funny as a movie gets but there's other really funny movies too you think that's the funniest of all time it's one of the funniest it's one of the funniest it's it's a stupid funny movie but team america team america too zoolander's really funny yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of fucking taladagin nights and now i lost all credibility right there jami when i first saw fucking borat i pretty much shit my pants yeah borat even Bruno.

[481] I didn't see Bruno.

[482] I still haven't seen it.

[483] My Albanian father.

[484] My fucking Albanian father immigrant, hard head.

[485] Like, I only knows one way.

[486] Neanderthal.

[487] Thinks that's one of the fucking funniest movies ever.

[488] You know what I mean?

[489] It's just weird.

[490] It's a crossover hit.

[491] You know what's a, like, an underrated funny movie?

[492] And Adam Sandler's Don't Mess with a Zohan.

[493] Oh yeah, that one's a good one, too.

[494] You're right.

[495] rated funny movie man like because a lot of people they put adam sandler movies into like a category you know sometimes you can get a little they can get a little dismissive of an adam sanler movie but that don't mess with the zohan is a classic that was a good one yeah so tell me how your show works man do you just decide where you want to go somebody else suggest where to go well a lot of the times it's uh i go on tour for my music and then while we're there we end up shooting the show if that's not the case I just tell them listen I want to go to fucking Sicily and then we're in Sicily you know it's that simple and we just I bring my boys with me and we just go in they put the camera on and we just act how we act it's up be us wow then you just get to pick where you're eating and just showcase different chefs you were a chef at one point in time I was that's how I really started I was when I was like 18, I went to culinary school and fucked off after that for about a year and a half or two and had a child and went back into the kitchen and start working and that was just it.

[496] I thought I was just going to be a fucking short order cook or chef or whatever for the rest of my life.

[497] I had to nowhere.

[498] I broke my leg.

[499] Just slipped on the floor.

[500] Broke my leg.

[501] I was working a little bit with music before that but not in any capacity where I thought, what it would be where I am now.

[502] And shit, here we are.

[503] You know?

[504] That took me out of the kitchen professionally.

[505] Put me in a recording studio all the time.

[506] That's crazy.

[507] Yeah.

[508] A fall changed your destiny.

[509] Straight up.

[510] Broke my right leg, my right ankle from a slip.

[511] A very, like, I've slipped much worse.

[512] That's crazy.

[513] I've done much worse to myself.

[514] And this one just cracked.

[515] That's so interesting how something.

[516] like that can happen or something that looks like a bad thing that happened to you turned into like this amazing door that opened up yep then all of a sudden you could do what you really want to do it's it this is what I wanted to do my whole life nothing you know just what I wanted to do you know so what is this we're watching jam jam jam what is that oh yeah this is uh this is me in in Jamaica oh wow I went down here to do what I go down here to do.

[517] I went down here to do some sort of exhibition with Mario Battali, but he was in no condition to do anything with me that day.

[518] So I ended up just hanging out pretty much at the beach the whole time.

[519] Oh, so you were supposed to hang out with Mario and he got fucked up?

[520] Pretty much.

[521] I was hanging out with him, but we were just sitting at the bar hanging.

[522] He was, you know, he was doing well.

[523] He just didn't feel like doing anything.

[524] He just wanted to hang out.

[525] The weather was too good.

[526] Oh, I get it.

[527] The weather was just too beautiful.

[528] So he just didn't want to participate in a show?

[529] Well, no, not this one.

[530] Just in the entire events of the thing.

[531] I feel like we're dancing around this story.

[532] Yeah, nah, he was, bottom line is...

[533] I don't want to push you on anything.

[534] Bottom line, I was fucking...

[535] I ate a macaroon, like one of these edibles.

[536] Oh.

[537] And I was just demolished walking around.

[538] Did Mario get demolished, too?

[539] No, Mario doesn't get demolished.

[540] So he just drinks wine.

[541] That's too bad.

[542] Yeah.

[543] He's missing out.

[544] He is.

[545] I think that he's had his shit.

[546] You think so?

[547] I would say.

[548] I think he's done.

[549] I would say.

[550] I got to get back to the fucking kitchen.

[551] I got to cook the shit out of some food.

[552] I can't have to.

[553] I don't have time for these deep soul -searching weed trips.

[554] No, he's just hanging out, man. He's just living his life.

[555] He's like a fucking superstar.

[556] Yeah.

[557] He's a rock star, that guy.

[558] It's a world.

[559] The world of chefs is a very different world.

[560] And when I was younger, I didn't really appreciate it, like, as an art form i think i just thought of it's like almost more like uh you know just a a cool thing that someone knows how to make really good food because you can go to that restaurant you can get it there i didn't think of like who is the creator of that food and what is that is that art form you know because i think it really definitely is and guys like you and like you look like a chef which is like you're all tattooed up like you a lot of chefs yeah yeah yeah that's sedation yeah that's like they could be artists.

[561] Yeah, for sure.

[562] Well, that's today's chefs.

[563] Today's chefs are, you know, young, crazy, tattooed motherfuckers.

[564] You can't really call who's the chef, you know.

[565] But a classic chef is usually the French guy with the handkerchief around his neck and a big hat.

[566] It's not like that anymore.

[567] The chefs are now rock stars.

[568] Well, they definitely have become, because I think a lot of it's because of Bourdain's show.

[569] They definitely become more highlighted in that regard.

[570] Like, in his show, always like interviewing these weird funky people in Portland that are you know raising their own chickens and shit and you know farm to table type restaurants he'll hang out with a lot of like weird experimental chef people and a lot of them look like you yeah no that's that that's a good thing he definitely opened the door for a lot of people but i feel like the the celebrity chef started with emma lagassee and people like that like earlier with like um excuse me what about julia child exactly there you oh excuse me excuse me excuse me excuse me You can't go Emeril.

[571] You can't say it started with Emerald.

[572] But I'm talking like in this era, you know, where it really fucking took off.

[573] Julia Child was really the only one.

[574] And that other guy, Graham Kerr or some shit, whatever the fucking guy's name was.

[575] So was there like a calm before the storm before Emeril arrived?

[576] Man, I don't know.

[577] And there was nothing.

[578] The world was searching for a TV cook.

[579] I was fucking driving around and fucking jetters and shit smoking weed in Queens.

[580] I had no idea.

[581] watching Saved by the Bell at 7 a .m. Emeril's supposed to be a super nice guy.

[582] Emeril Lagassee ever by all accounts like one of the nicest guys in the world.

[583] Bam!

[584] He says bam all the time.

[585] Bam!

[586] He gets hype.

[587] By all accounts like one of the nicest guys.

[588] He just keeps scallions in his pocket and every fucking time he says, Ben, just throw scalyons in your face.

[589] Yeah, it's also interesting in the world of food and cooks and chefs that there's like different things.

[590] schools of food and cooks and chefs there's like the really experimental artistic people make maybe even alternative in their musical choices and then there's like guy fieri who's like you know a big bolsterous american drives a yellow corvette he's got frosted tips you know what i mean it's like he's got his own he's a fucking classic character white snake version of being an artist equally entertaining you know what i mean like i'm a white snake fan you know I love him He's he's incredible It's funny how those guys Like don't like each other And they just like Bourdain and him Go back and forth There's a beef It's hilarious Bourdain is fucking hilarious He's hilarious He's like a comic He's a real dude He's a hundred percent He works in New York kitchen's entire life He started jujitsu at 58 I know I see 57 58 He's doing a good job He's rolling around over there He got a blue belt Really Yeah blue belt that's a legit blue belt from hensoh gracie's academy that is about as legit a blue belt as there is in the world you have to earn that you don't just get that he that guy that's like he's very impressive that's very impressive to do that at his age and apparently he's doing it every day man it comes addictive right yeah and i i looked at your instagram page you're you're working out you you have uh someone trains you sometimes well yeah i'm you know like i i i've been athletic my entire life I played football and fucking high school baseball you know as time goes on you get lazy you know when I was young I was fucking juicing I was taking steroids and shit I was fucking buff I'm serious I believe you I was squatting like six I was fucking benching my highest You squatting 600 pounds?

[591] Straight up No shoes on belt no wraps just in the bucket You don't wear you don't wear shoes No shoes you know you got to keep the flat A good flat shoe Oh 600 pounds with no shoe That's crazy That's a lot of weight It was like 22 years old 23 years old But it was probably Because of the steroids Well doing a show like this Where you're traveling around the world And you're eating all that food I would imagine man It would be super easy To just get lazy Bro I just literally lost 50 pounds And I just gained another 20 So I'm My whole life is fluctuation I just need to get to that point Where I need to get past that fluctuating point and just go down and start seeing all these fucking abs that I have under there you know what I'm saying?

[592] I have like 32 ab muscles that you know you could possibly see all it needs to be done is shredded do you really want to lose that much weight of course anybody that's overweight wants to have a fucking six -pack before they die it's a fact is it a fact Yeah, I have one vein.

[593] You know, when you gauge working out, if you can see the vein or not.

[594] Yes.

[595] I have that good one vein over here, the squiggly.

[596] Upper shoulders, Stallone, babe.

[597] Exactly, the squiggly one.

[598] Yeah.

[599] It's a good one.

[600] Like, what was the bodybuilder, the fucking, the French guy.

[601] I forgot his name.

[602] French guy?

[603] Paul DeLay.

[604] I don't know who that guy is.

[605] That's an obscure reference.

[606] I don't have obscure strongman references.

[607] All types of bodybuilding references.

[608] Yeah, that's a ridiculous one.

[609] Look up Paul DeLay and tell me that he doesn't have that fucking...

[610] He's famous for the squiggle.

[611] So have you thought about, like, hiring a nutritionist?

[612] I know what to do.

[613] You know what to do.

[614] I do know what to do.

[615] It's just not easy doing it alone.

[616] I need someone to, you know, literally know, you can't do that.

[617] You can't have that at one in the morning.

[618] You can't eat a fucking in and out, right?

[619] now you can't have fries right now just do just stick to it it's hard to stick to it so is it um it's just a self -control thing yes yeah but i i have self -control in spurts which is weird there is paul delay there he is christ this guy's body's insanity that doesn't even look real oh my god what's with the suspenders that's two pictures in a row with him wearing suspenders they always have suspect outfits on the fucking body they always wearing some wild like did you get that?

[620] Look at his jeans with the belt.

[621] That's definitely Carl Knais.

[622] Dude, he is a shawl.

[623] He's so That's ridiculous.

[624] Yeah, that guy's so big.

[625] I used to look at magazines and want to be like that.

[626] It's just crazy.

[627] It's an...

[628] Like Ronnie Coleman and fucking...

[629] Insane science project.

[630] Really?

[631] That's a science project.

[632] It's amazing how many of those science projects exist, though.

[633] I mean, that's what all those magazines are.

[634] It's the weirdest conspiracy.

[635] and it is a conspiracy that all those like if you're looking at those bodybuilding magazines and shit that none of them like I don't know maybe they do now but back in the day none of them were talking about how they did steroids you're right they were all talking about but they were also talking about like you know I take creatine from you know muscle dick hard corporation and this creatine who's guaranteed to pack on 30 pounds of mass and they were all like pretending that they got all that muscle from some stuff that, you know, it's like barely works.

[636] Like, creatine works a little bit.

[637] But if you get to the pall delay levels, you can't look like that as like a human being can't look like that.

[638] I don't think people understand that.

[639] No. And I don't think I understand why the fuck they used to not talk about it.

[640] Why was it so taboo?

[641] Because it was illegal.

[642] Yeah, but now it's illegal and everyone knows what you're doing.

[643] It's like more out in the open now with all the baseball.

[644] shit and this.

[645] I don't think that it's wrong.

[646] Every baseball play was...

[647] Oh, that's what it looks like now?

[648] That's crazy.

[649] That looks like a meme.

[650] That, yo, that looks like something on the...

[651] Yo, what the fuck?

[652] That is insane.

[653] What does it say above that, Jamie?

[654] He already experienced some atrophy of his arms and back.

[655] What would it happen to him?

[656] It just says he's clearly off anabolic and stuff.

[657] Oh, I say.

[658] Wow.

[659] Jesus Christ Well, you know That guy When he was as big as he was at the top He had to be on Just staggering amounts of that stuff That's what people don't understand is Even if you I do know one dude though I have to be honest I know one dude that I know Who never took anything I know he didn't Because he wouldn't even eat vitamins This guy ate all his vegetables He's a very smart guy And he got really big like ridiculous he was my friend Brian Frazier he's a writer he's a comic out of Boston and at one point in time he was fucking enormous and I know all he did was work out that's all he did he was just a a like dedicated bodybuilder dedicated to lifting wanes he was fucking gigantic yeah man some people just have those genetics but he was no it wasn't even genetics he was just dedicated just dedicated hard work and he got was he shredded like shredded He was entering competitions.

[660] He was ridiculously swall.

[661] So much so that one time he went up on stage, he had a, like a golf shirt on, like an alligator shirt, and he came off stage, and I pulled him aside, I said, dude, listen to me, you can't go on stage with short -sleeved shirts.

[662] He goes, why?

[663] I go, your arms are way too big.

[664] I go, they're way too big.

[665] They're distracting me. I'm like, I'm your friend, and they're distracting me. You're up there, like, you're so intimidating.

[666] It's crazy.

[667] Because he was so swole.

[668] I was like, you can't go on.

[669] stage like that nobody wants to see that i feel like that's how i wanted to be at one point i feel like that's what i wanted yeah but maybe it's the maybe it's the height thing you want to be wide that way and it's because you know you're a little bit shorter than than the normal man yeah you want to be you and how we go east west exactly we can't go north south but i think that if you really wanted to do it though you would be like brian you would be dedicated to it and you'd really want to do it you'd get into it but it's one of those things where you want to want to do but you're also like a guy who really enjoys life and there's too many things that i have to be dedicated to man it's fucking hard you're not to be dedicated to music to this to that to food to the fucking everybody family it's like come on man yeah how many more things i have to well i think if you do decide to do something like that i think what you're saying is what's really the true thing that a lot of people are trying to avoid when it comes to like losing weight or changing your life it's like you have to be dedicated to that it can't be something you do like hey i'm dedicated to my music hey i'm dedicated to you know whatever my golf game but i'm i'm i'm gonna lose weight too like no you have to be dedicated yes that has to be your main goal in life is to be doing that you have to focus on that it has to be one of them yeah you know you're gonna try to change your chemistry and when people do it it's so fucking impressive i mean how many people have you met that have lost like a hundred pounds you just want to just shake their hand and go dude you fucking did it bro you lost a hundred pounds i lost i lost and I gained it fucking back.

[670] You know, this is what I'm talking about.

[671] My fluctuation.

[672] It's crazy.

[673] Have you ever thought about, I mean, I know you love food, but have you ever thought about, like, changing the kind of foods you eat?

[674] Yeah, of course.

[675] It's, you know, I don't think it's the fine foods that I eat.

[676] I think it's the refined sugars and the disgusting shit that I decide to eat.

[677] Why don't you try to just cut that stuff?

[678] What did you have?

[679] A chip witch?

[680] What's a chip witch?

[681] It's a fucking two toll house cookies with ice cream in between That sounds awesome It was good And it was melted And I still ate it Damn That's fucking disgusting It's piglet shit It sounds great We actually He actually had it in his pocket For about a half an hour Before I hate it Oh my god Yeah so I bet it was glorious It was going down My friend Aubrey has the best way of looking at it We were talking about it And it was like It's so crazy that just just a few moments of mouth pleasure is worth fucking up your entire body like your body the thing that carries you around in this life the thing that you need more than anything and just for a few moments of mouth pleasure and then you're feeling your whole body going what did you just throw in here and have us deal with you asshole it's crazy it's fucking nuts asshole it's fucking nuts What a cruel, sick, fucked up joke nature has played on us To make the things that are the most delicious going down The worst for your body That's a fucking conspiracy What a cunt nature is Nature is a dirty cunt What a bitch Do you imagine, man?

[682] Like If you're eating Fried chicken with waffles Okay Fried chicken with waffles It's one of the most fucking bang -up meals America's ever created.

[683] Like a good solid...

[684] You're gonna put butter on the waffles, right?

[685] Of course!

[686] Like, Rosco's, chicken and waffles.

[687] Just the sheer amount of sugar you are taken in.

[688] With the waffles...

[689] What drink are you going to have?

[690] What?

[691] Cooca -Cola.

[692] I'm not like to pretend to have a diet Coke.

[693] You got to get the fucking...

[694] It's like...

[695] Oh, you go a little bit of each one.