Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Hi, I'm Mike Barbiglia.
[1] And I feel ambitious about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.
[2] As if we're not already friendly people.
[3] I'm looking to take it to the next level.
[4] Oh.
[5] Oh.
[6] He's here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell.
[7] Brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens.
[8] I can tell that we are going to be friends.
[9] I can tell never we are going to be friends.
[10] Hey there.
[11] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.
[12] Joined by my compadres, compatriots.
[13] Sona, obsession.
[14] There you go.
[15] Took a second.
[16] And then Matt Gourley.
[17] How are you?
[18] I'm pretty good.
[19] How are you?
[20] I'm doing all right.
[21] I think I'm doing fine.
[22] Yeah.
[23] How are you, Sona?
[24] I'm okay.
[25] Just okay.
[26] Yeah.
[27] Is it my mic on?
[28] No, it's not.
[29] Your mic isn't on.
[30] You did you do that on purpose?
[31] I didn't do anything.
[32] It's okay.
[33] It's okay.
[34] Eduardo.
[35] Eduardo messed up.
[36] Eduardo, what happened there?
[37] One time I go drink some water.
[38] I drink some water.
[39] I was like, oh, I forgot her mic was not on.
[40] Her mic wasn't on.
[41] We are recording.
[42] We were recording.
[43] We are recording.
[44] You know, this is why you lost your job as an air traffic controller.
[45] Because he kept turning their mics off.
[46] I'm sorry, so no. No, no. It was supposed to be a professional organization.
[47] And Eduardo here, who I admire, who built this studio.
[48] I know.
[49] gave me a gift because I don't think he has anything to harp on you about.
[50] And now you, now he didn't turn my mic on.
[51] I do have something good to talk about.
[52] The other night, some friends of my wife and I were having dinner at like kind of a fancy restaurant.
[53] And it was in Beverly Hills, which we never go into that part of town.
[54] Like, I'm not a guy that goes to restaurants in Beverly Hills.
[55] You're not a BH guy.
[56] I'm not.
[57] And so we go there and we have this really nice meal with our friends.
[58] And I'm like, oh, this is great.
[59] This place is terrific.
[60] And then we're about to leave and this gentleman comes up to me who I think works with the restaurant.
[61] And he says, Mr. Brian, I'm here to walk you past the paparazzi.
[62] And I said, what?
[63] I'm like, what are you talking about, paparazzi?
[64] That's not, you know, and he's like, no, no, I'm here to make sure that you get through the paparazzi.
[65] Okay.
[66] I'll walk you back to your car.
[67] And I'm like with my wife, like, well, that's weird.
[68] Okay.
[69] We walk outside.
[70] Nobody.
[71] I mean, not just no paparazzi.
[72] No people.
[73] like they were shooting Omega Man, you know, like a post -apocalyptic.
[74] And I wasn't, I was, and then, and then I'm, so now that I have the added thing of, like, this guy's with me, and he's kind of acting like, right this way, just keep moving.
[75] Like, what are you talking about?
[76] Hey, it's me. I don't have, I'm not someone who's like, why don't they leave me alone?
[77] But it was so funny.
[78] And this guy never acknowledged, like, well, he never acknowledged that, oh, I thought there was, or I just assume because you're a known person that.
[79] there would be, you know, and I was assuming that he knew that, you know, and so, but he'd still, he never let on.
[80] He was just like, keep, right this way, which one's your car?
[81] And he committed the whole way.
[82] He committed the whole way.
[83] It was just, I thought it was so, it was so perfect.
[84] It was so me like, Mr. Brian, I'm here to help you through the paparazzi.
[85] Huh?
[86] What?
[87] Well, if you say so, doors fly open.
[88] Tumbleweed went by with a long lens camera, but not aimed at me. It was really funny.
[89] For your birthday, we should get you paparazzi.
[90] I think that'd be nice.
[91] That would be, yeah.
[92] Real paparazzi?
[93] No, no, no. Or just fake people would.
[94] No, because real paparazzi wouldn't come.
[95] I believe these are people you pay with like a press thing in their hat.
[96] I did do a thing that was really funny.
[97] There was a period in my life when sometimes there would be, you know, people around.
[98] wanted to normalize that for my kids.
[99] So what I would do is when my kids were little, I told them, I taught them this bit, but we would walk out and it'd be at some restaurant, you know, where there aren't anybody.
[100] There's nobody.
[101] There's nobody there's no paparazzi.
[102] But we would walk out and my kids who were little, this is like my daughter was like maybe seven and my son was five.
[103] They would both fan out and say, back up, back up, leave them alone.
[104] And there was nobody there and they it was it was fun because it was a making fun of me yeah about no one gives a shit about our dad and then but I just love to see little kids going please he's a person give him room but I don't know where this guy got it in his head maybe he just assumed like well we've had other famous people here and it's a mob scene out you know we just had you know whatever Travis if I would feel embarrassed that there wasn't a crowd but also embarrassing that you're making this I work for nothing.
[105] I didn't, well, I tipped this gentleman because I felt like he got to, he's just walked me to my - That's why he's doing it.
[106] I know, but I just felt bad.
[107] I just, I didn't know what to think.
[108] I thought, this is, this is, please, I'm here to help you.
[109] It's a mom's, you know, we just, we just had, we just had Taylor Swift and Travis were here, and, you know, we know how it can be, so we're going to walk you to your car.
[110] What did it I always In those moments When things are really quiet I always I always want a bird to go by Like a mocking bird Would it have been worse if there was just like one person there And they Because I've been with you when paparazzi And they Because there's nothing about your life that's exciting Oh I'm always doing So they're like Hey what do you think about you know Someone buying a horse?
[111] Yeah, they always have to try and think of something and they don't have a question ready to go for me. So they're always, you know, um, stock market.
[112] Interest?
[113] What did you buy at the CBS?
[114] Oh, I got those caps that you put on a toothbrush that sort of keep other things from brushing up against it.
[115] And then you just know TMS, he's like, Conan sucks.
[116] Bang!
[117] Right this way, Mr. Brian, we got you back.
[118] Cah!
[119] Cah!
[120] A horse goes by.
[121] Hey, it's Conan O 'Brien.
[122] Used to be on the television.
[123] And then the paparazzi goes, wow, a talking horse.
[124] They start taking pictures of him.
[125] All right, let's get into it.
[126] My guest today is a hilarious comedian.
[127] He truly is.
[128] And he's not just a comedian.
[129] He's a writer.
[130] He's a director.
[131] He's an actor.
[132] he's a great admirer of this gentleman his latest one -man show The Old Man and the Pool is now available to stream on Netflix you have to watch it, you really do I'm excited he's with us today Mike Brubiglia, welcome Here's what happened last time I'm going to bring the listeners up to speed I challenged you on the idea of the concept of the show that you want to be friends and I said I don't have your contact information you said it and then you bleeped it But then we were in touch.
[133] I just want to read a text chain that we had because I'm, in addition to being a second -time guest on the show, I'm an avid listener.
[134] I loved the Stephen Wright episode.
[135] Oh, thank you.
[136] So good.
[137] Yeah, he was wonderful.
[138] I texted Conan, and I said, Stephen Wright's the reason I got into comedy.
[139] It was the best interview I've ever heard of Stephen Wright because he laughed.
[140] I'd never heard him laugh before.
[141] And I've been a fan of his.
[142] I feel like I've seen every interview.
[143] So you, like, killed him.
[144] And then I wrote this to you, and you wrote, I'm actually in New York right now, cranking out pods, taking meetings.
[145] I'm in midtown.
[146] My daughter shows up today, but leaves Monday.
[147] If there's a chance to grab coffee, it'd be nice to catch up.
[148] Yeah.
[149] So that was like a friendship move.
[150] We had never had coffee.
[151] I tried to take it to the next level.
[152] Did you really say cranking out pods?
[153] I'm cranking out pods, but that didn't mean podcasts.
[154] I, did you know that, did you guys know that I'm manufacturing?
[155] your instant coffee pods.
[156] And so I make a decaf pod that's quite popular.
[157] That's the best version of what I was imagining.
[158] You don't know about co -pods?
[159] Copods are huge.
[160] Copods are massive in Brazil.
[161] And guess what?
[162] Starbucks is about to carry them.
[163] No, actually in Brazil, they drink copods that are manufactured here by Conan at his house.
[164] Yeah, in coffee that's grown naturally in Brookline, Massachusetts.
[165] I have a coffee plantation in Brookline, Mass. Co -pods are 90 % dust.
[166] Yeah, yeah.
[167] Well, we're going to get that up to 94 % dust.
[168] The profit margin on co -pods is extraordinary.
[169] Like, you've never seen anything like it.
[170] Yeah.
[171] Because Brookline, Massachusetts, and I also have a plantation in Newton, Mass. These are not good places to grow coffee, so I get very few beans.
[172] So that's why we need to supplement with dust.
[173] Okay.
[174] Anyway, it's a long story.
[175] Their slogan is, for every bean will give you a bag of dust.
[176] Beat that slogan.
[177] I've challenged Madison Avenue to beat that slogan, and they can't do it.
[178] They get their best people on it.
[179] Okay, there's more to the text.
[180] There's more to the text.
[181] Okay.
[182] By the way, I'm team Sona today.
[183] Yeah, Team Sona.
[184] Team Sona Mugs.
[185] I'm also Team Mug.
[186] I'm also team Matt.
[187] Oh, thanks.
[188] Those mugs really, they don't went missing.
[189] I think you're missing the point, though, that he's team sona and team Matt.
[190] I don't see a team Matt mug.
[191] I've never seen one.
[192] So you go, I'm here.
[193] I'm here podcasting.
[194] And then you wrote, text me when you're back and I'll ghost you.
[195] Yes.
[196] And then I wrote, I've been ghosted by much bigger celebrities than you.
[197] It bounces off of me and you wrote, it'll sting, you'll see.
[198] and then God, I'm killing myself here And then you said I'll be back mid -June Because I was trying to get you To come back on working it out My podcast, which I'm still going to Try to get you to come back on And then when you were back You ghosted me Yeah And it did sting Whoa.
[199] So today, what I want to do is engage, try to get you back on my podcast And also for pods Okay Coffee, coffee Pods Listen, so you were waiting for me to reach out to you when I came back in June.
[200] No, I texted you then.
[201] Oh.
[202] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[203] And what did you say?
[204] How did you know I was in town?
[205] Because you had written mid -June around the 13th, I wrote, okay, perfect, can't wait.
[206] Yeah.
[207] So then - But when I hear can't wait, that, that, don't put this back on him.
[208] No, no, no, but listen, when I hear can't wait, that's, it's, that just, it's too irresistible.
[209] When someone says, I can't wait, that makes me think, oh, you're going to fucking wait.
[210] You know what I mean?
[211] Barbiglia.
[212] Oh, this is the real me. You want the real me?
[213] This is why Sona's so hard on you.
[214] Yes, that is exactly why.
[215] Sonia, you know me the minute I saw can't wait.
[216] There was part of me that was like...
[217] There's certain things you just hate that really like bug you.
[218] One of the things you wrote is let's try to make that work.
[219] All I ask is that I feature prominently in your next one -man show.
[220] Yes.
[221] That's good.
[222] This is...
[223] Don't you think this is better than meeting up with me in person?
[224] Yeah, yeah, this is better.
[225] These are classic quips.
[226] And I wrote, yes, you're the second man. Top billing, you'll have to audition.
[227] You know what?
[228] I am going to be, well, this is the problem.
[229] I'm going to be coming to, but I don't know when this airs, but after we've gotten back.
[230] Yeah, after we've gotten back.
[231] So I will be in Brooklyn cranking out pods.
[232] Cranking out pods at the Brooklyn Academy of Music with my team here, team Sona and team goarly but um that's like a quick turnaround that's two days and then gone do you ever get over to brooklyn that's where i live i've told you i knew that i knew that i was just trying to grind it in made it so clear because i was going to take you for a nice dinner at lucali pizzeria in the neighborhood he's got days free he's got the days free oh he has the days free you could do the days yeah let's do the days do you want to do the days yeah i didn't so by the time people listen you know what's great by the time people hear this yeah i will have been to brooklyn and ghosted you again And it will have stung.
[233] Oh, this will sting so much because you'll see me as I'm ghosting you.
[234] You'll see me in the glass, in the pizzeria, and you'll be outside.
[235] It'll be shivering cold because it's November.
[236] I had a sona question.
[237] I know that I'm coming in with questions, and that's awkward.
[238] Oh, what?
[239] I love this.
[240] I'm holding up a little note card.
[241] I'm loving this so far.
[242] This is delightful.
[243] My sona question is, with Conan, you go so hard on him.
[244] What is too far?
[245] Have you ever said something that's too mean?
[246] And then it's like, what?
[247] Like, we got to cut that out.
[248] It's too mean.
[249] I don't think we've, I have to say, you guys could tell me, I don't think we've ever cut out anything that you got, when you guys go after me, I don't think we've ever cut out anything.
[250] And we've never cut out anything when you don't act like you don't come after us.
[251] Oh, yeah.
[252] There's no limit.
[253] There's no limit.
[254] My record is clear.
[255] It's all in the history books.
[256] Do you know what I mean?
[257] There's no, it's like World War II footage.
[258] We've all seen it.
[259] Yes, I go.
[260] It's like World War II footage.
[261] There's no limit.
[262] It's not like World War II footage.
[263] It is.
[264] Yeah.
[265] It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's completely misunderstood World War II.
[266] Really?
[267] And footage.
[268] I thought World War II was a lot of passive aggressive bickering.
[269] No. Between Stalin, Hitler, and Churchill.
[270] No. My God, Conan.
[271] How did you miss this?
[272] You read.
[273] Wasn't it a feud between podcasts?
[274] Now I have to go back and look at these again.
[275] Back then, it was radio.
[276] It was passive aggression between radio hosts.
[277] Orson Wells was involved.
[278] I don't know.
[279] I don't know to answer your question.
[280] Well, Sona, I mean, Matt, you would know because you added this thing.
[281] I don't think I have ever cut anything you've said to him.
[282] I think I've cut one or two exchanges with you and me and not because they were like bad.
[283] it was more like they just for whatever reason took the air out or didn't land or something like that would be your fault it would have been yeah if anything there have been moments where I was like I should have gone gone harder on you there's more I should have said the one I was listening to the other day I admire this I do ads in my podcast I have to say what's in the ad I don't know what the hell you guys are doing I know like you were doing an ad for like Conan TV or something and at the end of it Zona had made fun of it so much I was like Does this even exist?
[284] We didn't add.
[285] No one wants to watch that, Conan.
[286] You know what we did?
[287] We did an ad the other day.
[288] Mike, this is true.
[289] We didn't add the other day.
[290] And it's, you know, I read the, sometimes I'm reading these cold.
[291] And we get this, they slide this piece of paper in front of me. Like, what's this one?
[292] And I just start going.
[293] And I say like, you know, if you want to monitor your cats, if you want to monitor your, your cat's health, this device uses lasers and ultralight sound.
[294] to measure the quantity, quality, and size of your cat's poops, basically, and then gives you up -to -date analysis of what your cat's health could be in the future.
[295] And then I went on a long rant about the fall of Western civilization.
[296] Yeah, fair enough.
[297] I don't know on this show where the ads begin or end.
[298] No, and I've always thought, what has been advertised?
[299] Do you know, I don't know what the call to action is.
[300] My ads are a dare to advertise on Conradine's a friend.
[301] It's like, if you can handle this, advertise.
[302] I think what's happening is rival companies are paying for the other company's ads so that you will do damage to their business.
[303] It's an enemy, it's an enemy move.
[304] It's like World War II in that way.
[305] It is just like in World War II.
[306] He learned it from World War II tactics.
[307] When Churchill paid for ads that were pushing what Hitler wanted, It is so funny, the idea of Toyota desperately plotting to have me do a Ford ad.
[308] It's brilliant.
[309] Because they know, oh, this will get them.
[310] They'll really cripple Ford.
[311] It's like what they wanted was 30 seconds of an advertisement.
[312] And what they get is five minutes of nothing.
[313] I have more questions.
[314] Okay, more questions.
[315] Keep it going.
[316] So last night I ran into Conan out to dinner.
[317] It was like a curbinger enthusiasm.
[318] I mean, Kerman Enthusiasm is all these scenarios where you run into celebrities in Hollywood.
[319] And I witnessed it last night.
[320] It was with Jimmy Kimmel, Martin Short.
[321] Yep.
[322] We run into Conan with Phil Rosenthal, yep, Scott Ian from Anthrax.
[323] Scott Ian from anthrax and his lovely wife.
[324] And it was Pat Nosswald.
[325] Yep.
[326] And his wife, Meredith.
[327] And your wife.
[328] Yeah.
[329] And my wife, Liza.
[330] I'm on an, I'm getting on an airplane.
[331] I was in Chicago to interview the.
[332] the Nirvana fellas, Nova Sellech and Grohl.
[333] And then I'm flying back and I'm getting on the plane.
[334] And this gentleman with a fascinating beard gets on and sits opposite me. And I'm like, oh, I know who this is.
[335] And he says to me, hi, Conan, and yeah, Scott, Ian Anthrax.
[336] I played on your show.
[337] And I went, oh, cool.
[338] So we chat the entire way about the metal, but also going back to punk, Ramones, his childhood.
[339] It would have been almost a great podcast, just chatting with him across the aisle.
[340] And then he said, hey, I'm good friends with Patton.
[341] And I'm like, yeah, I know I'm texting with Patton all the time.
[342] I've done Patton Oswald forever.
[343] The next thing I know, there's one of those text chains where it's like a dinner is happening.
[344] And I keep thinking, is this ever going to happen?
[345] And then finally the day arrives, November 1st, we're going to go out to this dinner.
[346] So we go out, we're there, we're having a really good time.
[347] And then the next thing I know, these figures are looming over us at our table.
[348] And it's you.
[349] Mr. Kimmel and Mr. Short, Marty Short, and then we all get up, and then we're all standing in the middle of the restaurant, pretty much doing bits and stuff.
[350] Yeah.
[351] Well, Conan leaned into me and he goes, you're coming on the podcast tomorrow.
[352] Just remember, it's about me. Yeah.
[353] I did.
[354] Yeah, true story.
[355] Yeah.
[356] And then sure enough, and then he shows up, and then he shows up with questions.
[357] I love that he's done homework This is prepared Oh, this is my big question So when we do our podcast We have the interview And then the moment the person leaves After we're like, that was great That was going to be wonderful And then they leave and they go What'd you think?
[358] My question is like This time or last time And I was on What's going to be the thing you say when I leave?
[359] What's going to be the real dirt And I want to know the real thing Okay.
[360] Well, first of all, we have to get to the end before we know that.
[361] Because.
[362] Can we circle back to it?
[363] Yeah, of course.
[364] I'm already on board because he has my mug.
[365] So I think this is a great interview.
[366] Thanks, Jonah.
[367] Yeah.
[368] Well, also, I'm going to say something.
[369] I love it when a guest comes in.
[370] I'm a huge fan of yours.
[371] You know that.
[372] And a big admirer of what you've accomplished and what you've been able to carve out for yourself.
[373] But I also love that you came in, um, and you're so proactive that you're stirring it up, you're asking us questions, that to me makes for a better podcast.
[374] I love that.
[375] So already, ambitious, ambitious.
[376] Came out with an agenda.
[377] Yeah, yeah.
[378] Is it because it makes it more about you, though?
[379] Is that what you mean?
[380] Yes, yeah, I think so.
[381] I think that makes me happy.
[382] Also, in advance, I followed Matt and Sona on Instagram also.
[383] Oh, and God bless.
[384] One of them may have followed me back.
[385] I'm going to do it now.
[386] I'm not sure they'll do that.
[387] Do you remember last time that you popped back on the Zoom?
[388] Yeah.
[389] Is that why you bring this up?
[390] No. Okay.
[391] Yeah, because we recorded over Zoom last time and you popped back in the Zoom while we were doing our download.
[392] So I like this.
[393] This is great.
[394] I wasn't gone and you kept talking.
[395] No, we will give you a full assessment afterwards.
[396] We'll be honest about it.
[397] I have to say, and it's one of the reasons I really love doing the podcast, over the years of doing a late night show, And I'm just going to remind viewers that Mr. Brabiglia, when you were a young lad started out as an intern on our show in the 90s.
[398] In the 90s.
[399] And he was an intern on the program.
[400] And then all these years when we were at Rockefeller Center, the old show, and then it's kind of cool to contrast, that was a show where I would talk to multiple people a night.
[401] And you had, so it was a volume business.
[402] And there in the post -mortem, we really would sometimes.
[403] get into it about oh my god can you believe what that guest did can you say any of them i don't like to hurt people i really don't i really don't like to make people's feelings what you've been doing to us for years now well this is familiarity breeds contempt so i know you guys i see you every day so i have no fear um but you know what's funny is about my interning on your show is a part of the reason that i became a stand -of comedian is because of interning on your show so like for example I would ask Mike Sweeney and Brian Stack and all these writers for the show how would one become a writer for Late Night with Conan O 'Brien because that's what I want to do.
[404] That's my dream and their answers were I did stand -up, I did improv.
[405] I went back to college just did stand -up and improv.
[406] And I did stand -up.
[407] I was like all right, this is going pretty well.
[408] That's what I went better than pretty well.
[409] I think it went spectacular.
[410] It didn't go well for a while, though.
[411] I mean, it went okay.
[412] Now it's good.
[413] No, I was always surprised by the number of people that would come up to me and say, I'm really interested in doing what you're doing.
[414] And I would say, oh, you know, well, what are you doing?
[415] Like, are you writing comedy?
[416] Are you in an improv troupe?
[417] Are you doing stand -up?
[418] What are you doing?
[419] And they'd be like, oh, no, I'm not doing any of that.
[420] I just want to do that.
[421] Give it to me. Yeah, I would like that when you're done with it.
[422] But I would say the podcast, it is, I mean, I'm hard pressed to think of a podcast where I haven't enjoyed talking to the people because we don't make nearly as many of them.
[423] And if there's someone I don't want to talk to, I just don't talk to them.
[424] And so it's, it feels like a really nice, I don't think, I think it's, I'm hard pressed to think of a time when someone's left here and I've thought, boy, I really disliked talking to that person.
[425] I usually feel like I learn something.
[426] And it also like I feel like it lets you do goofball things without it feeling out of place because it's much longer than like a five -minute interview.
[427] Like one of the hardest I love, one of the hardest I've ever laughed at this podcast.
[428] I don't remember which episode, the Yee -boo episode.
[429] Oh, Ye -boo, yeah.
[430] Yay -boo, it's lots of fun to do.
[431] If you like it, holler yay.
[432] And if you don't, you holler boo.
[433] Could you give context of people who didn't hear that originally?
[434] Yeah.
[435] Okay, Will.
[436] It was my grandfather had some old, like, 45s in the attic, and we found one, and it was this singer in, like, the 50s singing a song called Ye boo, yay boo.
[437] And I remembered once, it's, I can do it now on the podcast, and it feels like it's in place.
[438] There was one night on the late night show when I'm out there.
[439] And I'm really just, at this point, I've done like 35 ,000 hours of television.
[440] But I'm in, I'm doing the monologue in the late night show.
[441] for NBC and I said something and the audience mock went and then I said of course so -and -so's in the news and the audience went boo and I went yay boo yay boo it's lots of fun to do if you like it halla yay and if you don't hallo boo and I remember my producer my right everyone was like what the fuck was that but that goes back to what you're saying of like people come up to you and they go like I want to do what you do and people say that to me as a stand -up all the time and I'm like you got to do it so many hours like you're saying that you're saying that you You don't even notice you're doing it after a while.
[442] Well, that happens that, yeah, you probably get this.
[443] You'll be talking to somebody and they'll think, oh, that's weird.
[444] You're the same person that I saw do the show.
[445] Yeah.
[446] Meaning they assume that you'll become a different person.
[447] Yes.
[448] He'll do bits for people endlessly in like an airport or like a taco bell.
[449] People will be like, why is he doing?
[450] Why aren't you this like serious, quiet man in your regular life?
[451] I'm imagining Scott Ian from Anthrax, never wanting to speak to you.
[452] Oh, yeah.
[453] Yeah, he was trying to get away from me. Wait, so are you, so that was my whole thing with my mom when I was like, I recently, I guest hosted for Kimmel when he had COVID.
[454] And so they were like, why don't you, when he said he had COVID?
[455] Yeah, when he said he had in Camel around.
[456] And wanted a little downtime.
[457] And so, and so they were like, you should interview your mom on video chat.
[458] So I interviewed my mom.
[459] And I go, Mom, what was I like as a kid?
[460] And she goes, you were not funny.
[461] you're so serious and then she goes you comedians are so serious I was like how many comedians do you know you're texting Ronnie Chang yeah turns out she knows a lot are you on an email email email thread with Roy Wood Jr like what's going on here mom what don't I know I do really want to talk about you you have amassed this really cool body of work you're a terrific storyteller and a terrific you make these these one -man shows that are beautifully constructed and you are not so i want to take a second here and and and acknowledge what you've done which is you are not i have so much respect for stand -up but what you do it feels like you've carved out really something quite unique for yourself and i think that's that's my highest compliment to musicians and comedians is when I say, no, this person found something they worked, they worked hard in the dark alone.
[462] They figured it out and they came out with something that's truly them.
[463] And I think you've done that.
[464] Like people, you have this huge following, which is people want to, want to hear Mike Barbiglia tell stories that are very personal to him.
[465] No, I appreciate it.
[466] It's, I'm lucky.
[467] I just, you know, I'm doing a new tour called Please Stop the Ride.
[468] It's like a whole new hour.
[469] And it's, it's uh and it yeah it seems like people still want to see the next show you know we it's weird every time i always talk about this with my friend jack antonoff who's from bleachers is a great musician and we've been friends for like 20 years we're both touring acts and like when you put a tour on sale you find out if anyone still cares yeah you know what i mean yes and it's like and so it's exciting that i've made these yeah like you're saying like i made these things that And it's kind of by accident that I made it specific.
[470] It's really just because I'm like, I'm really interested in plays and I'm really interested in movies and drama.
[471] And then also I'm really interested in stand -up.
[472] And then along the way, I started working with a theater director, Seth Barish, and I just, I started working with theater producers.
[473] And at a certain point, it just became a thing.
[474] Like, it wasn't an overnight thing.
[475] It just, and at a certain point, like, probably my biggest break was like in 2008, Nathan Lane agreed to be present my show off Broadway sleepwalk with me which is the first one of these and that was helpful because it like sort of put me made people show up and and think it's a piece of theater as opposed to just writing it off as stand -up to have everyone belittles to have Nathan Lane's no no but but like to have Nathan Lane's imprint I mean he is he's a gold standard he's a gold standard and so for Nathan Lane to say you need to pay attention to Mike Biglia.
[476] I mean, to give yourself credit, you've also had, you've had a very interesting life.
[477] You've had a lot of health issues and you've been really honest about them and they're quite dramatic and these stories you tell are riveting.
[478] I mean, they're really like the highest compliment I can pay to someone.
[479] This sounds terrible, but Los Angeles is a very specific place and theater in L .A. To get to theater in L .A., you need to, it's not like New York where you say, I want to go.
[480] check out that show.
[481] I'm going to walk 15 blocks this way and go see the show.
[482] I heard that you were doing your show and Greg Daniels and I were talking about it and we decided let's go down and see Mike Brubiglia do his show.
[483] So we drove to downtown Los Angeles to see your show.
[484] And I remember thinking as I'm driving into downtown L .A., this is commitment.
[485] Because it's like a 40 -minute Odyssey.
[486] And you feel like, it's like Lord of the Rings.
[487] like there's different tests along the way and we lost the ring for a while but we got it back and we crossed the river and we you know and then finally we ended up at this wonderful theater and we saw you and you were worth it definitely worth the trip oh thanks yeah it's weird how yeah it's weird how you end up where you are and then also like we're talking about the Nathan Lane thing it's a little bit like with Lorne Michaels with you yeah with late night yeah because like I remember when that happened in the 90s when they were like and the new host is a writer who you do not know who's replacing also to put it in context I used to I did this bit once on Charles Groden's show but he was like now what was it like when you replaced Letterman and I was like I said imagine I said imagine imagine that because you know Letterman in 1993 and this is back when there were very few comedy gods you know that it's a very different landscape now but he's this he's the biggest icon in comedy and Carson's retired and so it's like it's Letterman in my world and then imagine them saying in baseball you know Joe DiMaggio is now retiring today ladies and gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen he is leaving the field forever forever forever forever goodbye Joe DiMaggio greatest legend in Yankee history history history history but don't worry ladies and gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen here comes his replacement 19 year old Chip Whitley.
[488] And like a bat boy comes running out.
[489] It's like, hi, everybody.
[490] I'm going to disappoint you for a while, while, while, while.
[491] But don't worry, worry, worry, worry.
[492] If you stick with me, with me, with me. After about four or five years, years, years, years, you'll grow to love me, love me, love me. And that's what it felt like.
[493] And that's exactly what it was.
[494] It was fucking crazy.
[495] Yay, boo, yeah, boo.
[496] It's lots of fun to do.
[497] if you like it, Hollier, and if you don't.
[498] But, yeah.
[499] But it was absolute madness, but it's so funny that you remember that, but fan, like people that are indoor stuff now are like the podcast, whatever, and people in their 20s, they have no idea.
[500] Yeah.
[501] They just think, oh, you're like Mickey Mouse.
[502] You were just always around.
[503] Like, no, no, I'm, no. There was a time when it was really rough.
[504] Yeah, and I feel like the thing that's happened, this show's called The Old Man in the Pool And by the time people, yeah, I'll say it's on Netflix now It's called The Old Man in the Pool Because it will, because it's out right now, it's out right now And I had a fear about it which was, I was like, the vision was I want to do a show that's 90 minutes of jokes and stories about death Because I feel like if we, you know, face the thing that we're most scared of in my case, death that there's a catharsis for that for everybody potentially and i did have a fear of like oh i'm going to go out with this and then some people are going to be if they're going through you know sorrow or dealing with deaths of people close to them are going to have a bad it's going to have a bad effect and it was the opposite like literally the people who would come up to me like when i was doing it in la like i remember like this woman came up to me over the show and she was like I recently lost some people in my life and lost my dad and a bunch of people and and tonight when I was in the audience like I felt like I was laughing with my dad and it was like genuinely like I feel like that's the thing about being in my 40s that I did not expect first of all I didn't expect to be doing comedy in my 40s or somehow like in my 20s and 30s even didn't anticipate that it would continue somehow but I feel like the thing that I've started to realize is like oh it really is about them.
[505] It's about the audience.
[506] It's about their experience.
[507] And it's like if you can get people to that point, that's why I'm excited that it's on Netflix now because it's like, oh, well, maybe it'll have that effect with, you know, hundreds and millions of people who are able to get Netflix.
[508] It's funny because to, and this is a compliment again, hard to categorize you because you are very funny and you are a comedian and you are doing stand -up comedy, but it's also not stand -up comedy because you're telling stories.
[509] And we've talked about this somewhat.
[510] I know you, and you mentioned your mom.
[511] I know your mom was a major influence on you.
[512] Yeah.
[513] Because like my parents, she comes from this Irish storytelling tradition.
[514] And I just knew that I grew up in a similar kind of situation where telling stories and being able to make something that happened to you funny was sort of just a way of life.
[515] It's how you, it's how you grew up.
[516] It wasn't even thought of as a possible profession, right?
[517] Yeah, it's like, it's definitely not.
[518] I mean, I grew up, I was out of Worcester.
[519] I didn't even grow up.
[520] I was out of Boston.
[521] Like, people don't even understand when I explain where I live.
[522] I'm like, central Massachusetts.
[523] They're like, why would anyone live there in the middle?
[524] Yep.
[525] In a middle.
[526] And she was very Massachusetts.
[527] Which I love, and I just went back there easily.
[528] I love it.
[529] But it's also like, no one in the town thought show business wasn't a job that anyone even had.
[530] Right.
[531] I mean, it was outrageous thought.
[532] But yeah, I feel like even when I go home now, it's like, and my mom's a great storyteller.
[533] And my siblings, you know, my two sisters, Gene and Patty, my brother Joe, they're a riot and like the most fun is my wife always comments on this is that when I'm home, it's not the dinner, the Christmas dinner that's funny.
[534] it's like the 11, 12 at night, 1 a .m. sitting around the kitchen aisle.
[535] Kitchen.
[536] Yeah.
[537] Kitchen.
[538] And just telling stories about kids you grew up with and what's going on with everybody and what's this person up to.
[539] And that's like I'm getting choked up even saying.
[540] It's like weirdly that's my favorite thing to do.
[541] Yeah.
[542] Be with people you love and just tell stories about things.
[543] Right.
[544] But I think you've done a really good job of replicating.
[545] that there's an alchemy that happens specifically around the kitchen island or for us I can I I still see it when I go home and my parents are still with us.
[546] It's so funny, Malaney I was last time I was talking to him and I mentioned that my dad is 94 and he said, I forget how he said it because his diction is so perfect his word choice but he just said I think it's like somebody like unseemly or silly that a man your age still has his father and I was like no but it was I could kind of see like oh come on Conan you're ancient and you're saying I just saw my dad that's ridiculous but I kind of knew what he was saying but I think he said was like it's not dignified it's almost not dignified like oh stop that oh stop that Conan that's ridiculous But I go back and see my folks and it's the same house I grew up in in Brookline and there's that, there's that round table that's still there.
[547] And I'm sitting at that same table and all that stuff comes back, which is, oh, this is where I really cut my teeth.
[548] This is where I, everything else has been a refinement of that.
[549] You're just refining and adjusting.
[550] But the basic concept of how it all works happens around your kitchen table.
[551] That's when it happens or it happens around that island.
[552] you're right.
[553] It happens at 11 o 'clock at night when people are letting their guard down a little bit and telling stories and you've been able to translate that.
[554] I mean, I don't want to give anything away from your show, and you can tell me if this is cool to talk about or not, but you start your show, this one with a very personal story about something that happened to you like six years ago.
[555] You mean the doctor's appointment?
[556] Yeah, yeah.
[557] So I went for my annual checkup and the doctor asked me to do the pulmonary test, which is you blow into the tube and there's a ball in it.
[558] simulate blowing out a candle which is the joke is which is why I call it the birthday cake test tells you how many birthday cakes you have left and so I basically I did it and then the doctor's just like looking at the screen attached she goes go ahead and do it you know I was like I did it you know and then basically like they were like you have to do cardio five days a week I was like nobody does cardio five days a week they're like a lot of people do I'm like I don't think professional athletes do cardio five days or like professional athletes definitely cardio five days a week we talk about this for about 45 minutes we agree to disagree and uh but it was it you know it really did it it led me down this rabbit hole of of of different doctor's appointments and it's a little bit whack -a -mole where like you you fix one thing and then you're drinking too much juice and then your blood sugar goes up i got diagnosed with type two diabetes and it's like kind of a yeah it's a roller coaster things and it's like yeah so the the yeah the show really deals with like mortality and this idea of like you there's a certain point where you're like oh I'm like I always heard that that phrase growing up like over the hill that would always be at the Spencer gifts like you know giving people greeting cards you were over the hill I didn't even know what it meant right till I get on till I got on the hill and I'm like oh oh there's natural causes they're not close but they're coming you know what I mean but it's like yeah I would I mean And how's your experience of that, Ben, like aging where you just go like, oh, wow, have you had that?
[559] It was a shocking view?
[560] Well, you know, yeah, I had my, we talked about it on the podcast a bunch, but I turned 60 in April.
[561] And it's just funny because I, you know, knock wood, I feel great.
[562] I think I take care of myself and everything.
[563] But you do start to, that's a number and not in a bad way, but you start to think, oh, there's a finite amount of this.
[564] And we spend so much of our lives.
[565] And you can probably relate to this too, which is I had, uh, I had like a such a big part of my career where I just felt like I was the new guy.
[566] Yes.
[567] And then it turned so quickly into, into you did a great job old man. Yeah.
[568] And people on the street are like, you know, they're super nice to me, but they act like, I've been around as long as they've been alive doing foolishness.
[569] And so it felt like it flipped very quickly into, good job, old man. And I'm thinking, wait a minute, the part where I was the young guy trying to prove myself seemed to go on forever.
[570] And then it turns very quickly.
[571] And I know you've talked about a similar thing.
[572] I had it with Taylor Tomlinson, who we just found out, is going to be the next late -night host after Colbert.
[573] Yeah, yeah.
[574] hilarious?
[575] And she came on my podcast, she goes, I used to watch you in middle school.
[576] Isn't that funny?
[577] Middle school, you say.
[578] Isn't that hilarious?
[579] And where was that?
[580] Yeah, yeah.
[581] When was this middle school?
[582] When does that take place?
[583] But no, there are routinely people that work for me. And I'm like, when were you born?
[584] And they're like, you know, 1998.
[585] I'm like, what?
[586] How are you allowed to be out away from home?
[587] How can you be allowed to leave your house?
[588] How are you allowed to leave your house?
[589] Do your parents know where you are?
[590] They're like 1998, Conan?
[591] Fucking wake up.
[592] Someone dial 911.
[593] This child has wondered, you know, are we employing you illegally?
[594] Let me get this straight.
[595] You were born while Clinton was president.
[596] Yeah.
[597] And you're allowed to walk around in workplaces.
[598] But I mean, it's, it's, it is this, it's, it's, it's so wrong, but yes.
[599] And by the way, just shout out to Taylor Tomlinson, who I adore.
[600] She is hilarious and fearless.
[601] Oh, yeah.
[602] Fearless.
[603] And, uh, and, uh, I got to tour with her a bunch of years ago.
[604] And she was, I mean, I think she must, she was very young when she was on this tour.
[605] I remember the first night she walked out and it's a big venue and everything.
[606] everything.
[607] And she just had absolutely, she had that thousand -yard stare up, yep, I'm going to go do this now and kill.
[608] I say, good Lord.
[609] Remind me to buy stock in Taylor Thompson.
[610] So you and I had similar like Irish, Irish Catholic, like Massachusetts upbringing.
[611] Did you, did your parents say I love you?
[612] Because I talk in the special a lot about we weren't like, and I love you.
[613] And we all love each other.
[614] There's no confusion, but we don't say I love you.
[615] We say take care.
[616] I know.
[617] I know.
[618] And it's not the same.
[619] Take care of oneself.
[620] It's not even yourself.
[621] Take care of oneself.
[622] Take care of one.
[623] Wait, one who?
[624] Someone.
[625] Well, I'm going to say, I'm going to double down for our listeners, and we've probably mentioned this before, but you say you come from Worcester Shrewsbury.
[626] That's where my entire family comes from.
[627] Oh, yes.
[628] And then my parents, when I was, just before I was born, and, like, they migrate to the Boston area from central Massachusetts.
[629] But really, all my DNA and my whole history is Worcester, Massachusetts.
[630] And that's where all my relatives live.
[631] That's where I went when I was a kid.
[632] We went there on Christmas is Thanksgiving.
[633] So you and I are made up of exactly the same stuff.
[634] You might have even gone to what I talk about in the special, which is the YMCA pool in Worcester.
[635] That's where I, that's, because I did not go there.
[636] My doctor recommended I go to the YMCA pool, and I say when I was a kid, my mom took me to the YMCA pool, and I hated everything about it.
[637] It was wet, sweaty.
[638] I go, it smelled like, you know, when you're a kid and someone breaks their cast and they let you smell under the cast, it's like if that smell became a building.
[639] And then someone just sprayed it down with over -chlorinated water.
[640] I love that you said you let someone smell under your cast.
[641] Get line Line up now No pushing No shoving That's right Only $10 a pot Line them up kids Hey You hear Brickli is letting us smell underneath his gas What Jesus fuck Get out of the way No I know exactly We were talking about We had a place in Brooklyn Which we all called the tank And it was a giant It was a bunch of swimming pools And man, there's a distinctive body odor mixed with a powerful chlorine that's probably no longer legal.
[642] Yeah.
[643] That removes your skin after three swims.
[644] Yes.
[645] And I remember that quite well.
[646] So I had that.
[647] And my daughter broke her foot this summer, beginning of the summer.
[648] And I didn't realize when your daughter breaks your foot.
[649] It's like your whole family breaks their foot.
[650] Didn't do a lot of foot -based activities this summer.
[651] but she was we were at this place called Urban Air which is like one one of these places where there's like a hundred trampolines in like a warehouse and then you walk in and they make you sign a release form that's about you know you have 40 pages long and it's just like and your daughter will break her foot and you're like Mike Barbiglia you know and there will be many injuries to stain Mike Perbiglia you may not make it out alive Mike Periglia you know And then we go in and then, sure enough, you know, breaks her foot.
[652] And it's, and I'm not, and of course, now, you know, she broke, she did the thing that you, it seems obvious.
[653] Someone's going to get hurt.
[654] This is crazy.
[655] Right.
[656] But now I can't sue.
[657] But I can talk about it comedically on podcasts.
[658] Yes, which is in a way, the better revenge.
[659] Like, for example, I don't know if Urban Air should be a business.
[660] That's a joke, of course.
[661] I don't.
[662] Of course they should be a business.
[663] That's the, you know, it's urban air is dangerous for all participants, which is a joke I'm working on.
[664] Of course, of course it should be safe for all participants.
[665] I'm sure it is.
[666] Hey, we're doing an ad today for Urban Air.
[667] This has been it for the last 15 minutes.
[668] That was our ad for Urban Air.
[669] Urban Air!
[670] Are you tired of a body that's free of injury?
[671] Let's do mid -episode vibe check.
[672] How are we doing with the episode?
[673] I'm having a great time.
[674] I'm loving it.
[675] I think the person we have to ask is the guru.
[676] He sits in the back, sort of like George Steinbrenner.
[677] He's just sitting back there.
[678] He owns us all.
[679] Adam Sachs.
[680] He looks exactly like George Steinbrenner.
[681] Yeah.
[682] If George Steinbrenner had a child with Michael Sarah.
[683] But it was all Michael Serra.
[684] And no George Steinbray.
[685] This is the second day in a row you've called me Michael Sarah.
[686] So, yeah, I don't know what I've done.
[687] You know what I'm rewatching with my son.
[688] We rewatch and rewatch and rewatch and rewatch Arrested Development because I always wanted my son to watch the very best comedic stuff.
[689] And he started watching Arrested Development and we always watch it over and over and over again.
[690] And we do it.
[691] And we've been doing it a lot lately.
[692] And I've been looking at Michael Sarah in that show and thinking, oh my God, it's Adam Sachs.
[693] I can't wait for the Daily Beast article that's like.
[694] And that's when he said, I look like Michael Serra again.
[695] And that's when he said, I look like George Steinbrenner.
[696] You don't look like George Steinbrenner.
[697] You have the, sometimes in the back, I know that, like, one frown from you and I know that I'm gone.
[698] So, yeah, he's controls us all.
[699] How's it going?
[700] Oh, it's going great.
[701] Okay, good.
[702] This is like, this is exactly what the podcast should be.
[703] Yeah.
[704] This is.
[705] Not always is, but should be and could be.
[706] This is what the podcast should be and often is, but not always is.
[707] Does anyone have any notes so far?
[708] Well, you do.
[709] You came in with 50 notes.
[710] My only note is that you said mid -episode check, and we are actually at rap time.
[711] I know, I know.
[712] But not that we have to, but I'm just saying.
[713] No, no, we can just keep going.
[714] This will be one of those long ones.
[715] It's zipping along.
[716] Yeah, we can just lose the ads because I don't think they're paying us anyway.
[717] once they listen to them so the Netflix special it's out how long does it take you to work on this next on on the next show yeah so I'm about you're into the next show you need some stuff to happen to you right do you need me to like shoot you in the shoulder which we get you need me to shoot you in the shoulder can you imagine that's when Conan said to me do you need me to shoot you in the shoulder and sure Conan is funny sometimes but this was a time where it didn't seem like he was making a joke I would use a 22 I would use a lower caliber You would kill him You're like you're a marksman But you don't shoot Oh come on You go shooting You're gonna kill him Oh 50 -50 chance He gets killed You get a ton of material And then I come on At the end of the show and we hug That's a big show By the way, that's another handoff that I think that we could pull off in 2024s, if you end up, because you were talking about going out and doing a whole bunch of live dates, maybe even stand up, if you do that, I want to pop into some of those shows.
[718] I would love to have you do that.
[719] I would love it.
[720] Well, you're saying that now.
[721] It would be my dream.
[722] Would it?
[723] Conan, all the jokes aside.
[724] Oh, no. You have to deal with this all the time.
[725] This is the bane of your existence.
[726] There's a generation of us comedians who view you as the booze.
[727] of comedy.
[728] Oh, wow.
[729] Okay.
[730] All right.
[731] You're old.
[732] And apparently fat.
[733] I'm apparently fat.
[734] And old.
[735] I'm sorry, I ruined it.
[736] No, you actually.
[737] No, no, Sona.
[738] Sona, that was exactly what I needed.
[739] I was on my way in, gave me a compliment.
[740] And because I've known Paula forever since your late night days.
[741] Paul has been with me 30 years.
[742] Yeah.
[743] And she gave me a compliment.
[744] And I basically said, you know, if you're, stick around long enough and show businesses eventually they let you just stay and she goes you and conan are the best at batting away compliments yeah but you are you're the you know you're thank you very much so yeah that would be that that would i don't it doesn't process i don't take it for granted like seeing you last night and jimmy and jesus christ marty short who is uh is funny in a way that always makes me question, like, how can anybody be that funny in so many ways?
[745] So, like, run into you guys and just be joking around, and then on the ride home, realize that I get to be around all these very funny people who are really creative and it's nice.
[746] What a fucking joy.
[747] This is how much I idolize Martin Short to wear at dinner, and I don't eat onions or tomatoes.
[748] And you went to an Italian restaurant.
[749] And I get mocked.
[750] I get mocked by my family, including my daughter.
[751] and eight -year -old daughter because she eats more stuff than I do but with Marty Short I'm like I'm just going full onions, tomatoes you know what I mean?
[752] I'm just I can't be that person Well also there is a moment where you realize you've made a mistake around Martin Short because he is you know when you walk if you're in a museum or something and you're in a room alone and you're really still and then you move slightly a little relevant light goes up, those motion sensors.
[753] And the red light's just going to register movement and they can pick up the slightest movement.
[754] Marty Short is one of those for someone making a mistake.
[755] There's a few people like that, Bill haters like that, where you have to be aware that whatever you're saying or doing is being clocked with a deep sensitivity.
[756] He does an impression of me that's so cruel that my wife Jenny loves, which is.
[757] this is the whole impression he goes but it was my car that's the whole impression it's nothing that I say it's nothing I've said in any joke but it was my car Bill is just beyond he's on another planet of funny but also just knowing that that you're around these people who have a superpower that they'll notice something the slightest...
[758] Yeah.
[759] The slight...
[760] I misspoke slightly.
[761] Or I had this little tick and they're like, ah, delicious.
[762] You're like that.
[763] Yeah, you are like that.
[764] Not at all.
[765] Anyway, moving on.
[766] Not at all.
[767] Not at all.
[768] And I love you both.
[769] No, but I value that too.
[770] Like, I feel so lucky.
[771] Like, my first taste of that in addition to, like, my own family.
[772] like you're saying, was when I got to college, and I was like, is there a sketch comedy group?
[773] Because I wanted to write comedy, like on late night.
[774] And they said there isn't, but there's an improv group.
[775] I don't know what that is.
[776] And I auditioned.
[777] I got in.
[778] And when I got in, I was like, oh, these are 10 people who are like that, who are just like, we're going to make fun of everything.
[779] We're going to do impressions of everything.
[780] We're going to be very annoying, but also kind of amazing.
[781] And those are like some of my closest friends to this day.
[782] I've always thought, and this goes for everybody here, like, isn't, I always tell my kids that the journey is finding your people.
[783] You set off into the world, and then it's just collecting people that, you know, inspire you would ever charge you in some way.
[784] And then at the end, it is like one of those movies, those travelogue movies where the person heads out in the beginning and at the end they've got like this, this group of people that have different powers, but they've befriended them along the way.
[785] I don't know.
[786] It brings me to my final point, which is that Conan and I have finally found each other.
[787] Oh.
[788] And co -pods is going to be a huge success.
[789] I love it.
[790] I don't know.
[791] I don't know.
[792] No, these are...
[793] What do you mean?
[794] You don't know.
[795] I just crank out these pods, man. One bag of dust.
[796] Yeah, I hear it.
[797] Their cost to ratio, I mean, it's incredible.
[798] Huge in Brazil.
[799] These are huge in Brazil.
[800] Look, I'm fine with him taking a dive on that.
[801] I feel like I don't want you to have to...
[802] Oh, that's a joint venture.
[803] Yeah, joint venture meeting.
[804] You put up most of the cash.
[805] I put up 90 % of the money.
[806] Oh, no. And incur most of the risk.
[807] No, I say no. Don't.
[808] All right.
[809] Well, Buddha's not taking a risk over here.
[810] Buddha's sitting on his fat ass.
[811] I'm going to start using that.
[812] I'm Buddha!
[813] That's not something Buddha would say.
[814] So, wait, so, okay, so if you're at the end now, so then what's the thing you'd say after I would egg?
[815] exit because now we're friendly.
[816] We go, oh, that was fun.
[817] That was good.
[818] Okay, so we're going to pretend you're not here.
[819] Yep, for seven.
[820] Okay, pretend that Mike just left and we take, we're going to leave them on, but we take these off.
[821] I have to go to the bathroom.
[822] So do I. You always have to go to the bathroom.
[823] That's what we would first say.
[824] Okay.
[825] But then let's say it's after that and we're just sitting here.
[826] Okay.
[827] Get a quick snack.
[828] Yes, you guys get snacks.
[829] I'm trying to get us past that to the part where we talk about Mike Brabiglia.
[830] Okay.
[831] Oh, wow.
[832] What did you guys think?
[833] well I really liked him because he had a team stone a mug and he had questions for us just that's why I really liked it because of that he had me at the beginning yeah well I already was a huge fan but being in room with the person he's so smiley and that makes you feel so good yeah I loved him yeah you loved him I loved him and I'll say I don't say take care I'm saying I loved him oh that's nice I'm a big fan and I really admire his body of work and I think he's a true comedic artist.
[834] However, he read personal texts between me and him without my permission.
[835] And that felt like a violation.
[836] That felt like, and now I'm supposed to text him again and trust him when I'm in Brooklyn.
[837] How am I supposed to trust him now that he doesn't then go on Stern or some other daily beast?
[838] Hey, guys, what's going on?
[839] Hey!
[840] You fucking killed it.
[841] Oh, thank you so much.
[842] I thought it was fun.
[843] Hey, loved it.
[844] Loved it.
[845] And the text thing was fantastic.
[846] Did you like that?
[847] Because I was going to maybe ask you before, but I thought it would be more spontaneous in the moment.
[848] No, you don't need to ask.
[849] All right.
[850] you guys.
[851] All right.
[852] So anyway, remove the text part.
[853] Because I come off like cranking out the pause.
[854] It just sounded like a print.
[855] Sorry, I left my notes.
[856] How are you?
[857] Wait, did you say that you didn't like the text part?
[858] No, no, no. I said, I wish there was more.
[859] And I said, double it, have it play twice in one podcast.
[860] Yeah.
[861] So, no, killer.
[862] All right.
[863] Thanks so much, you guys.
[864] But you're going for sure.
[865] now, right?
[866] Do you mind if I walk you out and then lock the door?
[867] Yeah, no, absolutely.
[868] I'm just going to shut the door, here we go, and then and then I'm locking it and double -bolting it.
[869] Now I want to change my opinion.
[870] He's a little pushy.
[871] He's pushy and he keeps coming back in.
[872] Wait a minute.
[873] Someone got a hydraulic drill?
[874] I left my glasses.
[875] You weren't even wearing glasses.
[876] I know.
[877] I just thought I should start.
[878] That's a $35 ,000 door, asshole.
[879] Oh, now I know.
[880] I know.
[881] I know.
[882] I just thought I should start.
[883] That's a $35 ,000 door, You know how you really feel Buddha?
[884] You demanded I call you Buddha in the interview.
[885] That's the part I left out.
[886] I told you if you could mention in that I'm a comedy Buddha and that you all feel that way, I'd really appreciate it.
[887] And you'd get $500 worth of coffee pods.
[888] Well, they never showed up.
[889] Thanks for nothing, assholes.
[890] Ladies and gentlemen, you just heard real improvisation.
[891] None of this was planned And yet it happened Not a fan Not a fan of you Don't like you Don't like Sona I'm okay on Adam We're getting you a team Adam mug By the way He's okay on you We're getting Let's get a mug Let's get a Not mentioned Let's get one mug made That says Matt Gorley And Mike Brabiglia Are okay with Adam Sacks.
[892] What about that?
[893] That's going to sell.
[894] That's going to be our biggest seller.
[895] Yeah, fill up full of co -pods.
[896] Cobra Biggs pods.
[897] So seriously, I'm going to make this.
[898] Cobra Biggs pods.
[899] Can you for real?
[900] Do you or do you not want to purchase Cobra Biggs pods?
[901] Do not.
[902] Do not.
[903] But let me ask you again.
[904] Do not.
[905] Let me phrase it.
[906] How did you get back in here?
[907] One bean, one bag of dust.
[908] Leave the room.
[909] There's no security here.
[910] Culver big time.
[911] There's no security.
[912] Get him out.
[913] Are you putting the door back on or are you taking it off?
[914] I came through the ceiling.
[915] Oh, my God.
[916] He came through the ceiling with Rip Taylor energy.
[917] I came to the ceiling.
[918] He's got confetti.
[919] Mike for Biglia.
[920] Thank you for, man, this was a gift.
[921] Thank you so much.
[922] Seriously, this was lovely.
[923] This is lovely.
[924] I'll see in Brooklyn.
[925] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.
[926] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.
[927] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
[928] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.
[929] Theme song by The White Stripes.
[930] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
[931] Take it away, Jimmy.
[932] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
[933] Engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.
[934] You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
[935] Got a question for Conan?
[936] Call the Team Coco hotline at 669 -587 -2847 and leave a message.
[937] It too could be featured on a future episode.
[938] And if you haven't already, please subscribe.
[939] Subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.