#1182 - Nick Kroll

[0] Five, four, three, two.

[1] Hello, Nick.

[2] Hi, Joe.

[3] Sorry for the delay.

[4] We had a failure, ladies and gentlemen, a catastrophic failure of windows updating.

[5] It's sort of updated and hung on the tricaster, but we're back.

[6] And it seems to be fine.

[7] Everything's working.

[8] Allegedly, allegedly, we'll see.

[9] There's that fear when you're like, fuck, I'm turning off the update.

[10] I'm going to start again, that you lose everything.

[11] That is the one annoying.

[12] thing we were talking about this before the podcast i've been using windows to write on and i like uh the think pad i really like i love the keyboard it's great to write on but windows updates like two or three times a day sometimes not just windows but like lenova will update and there's some sort of firmware update and the bios update and Adobe acrobats checking in yeah want to know if we can bit defender updates yeah the uh i haven't used a think pad they they got this still have that little like Clit right in the middle.

[13] I don't use it, but it's there.

[14] I guess it's for people that have been using it forever.

[15] It's very accurate if you do use it.

[16] Right.

[17] It's like one of those things where you just sort of used to muscle memory, you're used to doing it, and then they touch the other buttons with their thumb.

[18] Right.

[19] They can still do shit, and it has the mouse at the keypad.

[20] It has both.

[21] It's so weird how quickly you become accustomed to some new version of things.

[22] Like, I've been using my iPad, and then I've gone back to my computer, and I have like a little MacBook and I find even that weird like I find myself just wanting to touch the screen and I have my muscle memory is immediately shot.

[23] That's one thing that's very odd about Mac computers they still have it embrace the touch screen laptop whereas the think pad actually has a touchscreen.

[24] Oh you can straight up use the screen on it?

[25] Yeah it's an option.

[26] I have one that has a touch screen and one that does not.

[27] But that's a lot of Windows computers have touch screens and they even have it so you can turn it into a tablet.

[28] You flip it over, and I think they call it the yoga, the think pad yoga.

[29] And then Microsoft has one, the surface or something like that.

[30] Yeah, Apple's like, no, we want to sell you two different things.

[31] That's exactly what it is.

[32] Yeah.

[33] They're dirty.

[34] We're not combining that.

[35] They're dirty people.

[36] Yeah.

[37] They really are.

[38] That fucking battery thing really pissed me off.

[39] Did it come out?

[40] Did it finally get officially?

[41] Oh, yeah.

[42] They admitted it.

[43] Oh, yeah.

[44] They said they admitted it, and they said they did it because the old phones, they were trying to preserve the battery.

[45] the fuck you were you were trying to piss people off so they got a new phone we all know exactly what you're doing it works on me it works on me every year and a half I'm like why does my phone fucking dying every 10 minutes and I'm like I gotta get a new phone dirty people yeah dirty people I got the new one I got the new the newest of the Mac the whatever the iPhone XS max yeah it's too big I fucked up is it too big yeah I've never gone to the bigger one I've always gotten this this size Walmart I had the X. It was perfect.

[46] I was happy.

[47] Yeah.

[48] But I got greedy.

[49] I want to go back.

[50] They have some of those now the smaller, like the four or the five, that little size one.

[51] Yeah.

[52] Yeah.

[53] Someone had one the other day and I had it in my hand.

[54] I was like, ooh, this is nice.

[55] Yeah.

[56] You could text with one hand.

[57] Yeah, exactly.

[58] And I think they now make that one with a higher power.

[59] It's like that size, but it's, I don't know.

[60] And it fits like in your hand, it's square and the edges are hard.

[61] It fits in their purpose.

[62] Yeah.

[63] It's not like a slip.

[64] This one feels like it's going to slip out and you can't quite get around it the whole time.

[65] Yeah.

[66] The four one, that one, it also has a headphone jack.

[67] It's like the last, the Mohicans.

[68] Yeah, they got rid of all of it.

[69] Although now, yeah, I guess it's still now the, there's the converter.

[70] I don't know.

[71] The dongle.

[72] Is that what it is?

[73] Yeah.

[74] They fucking, they got me, though.

[75] I'm in.

[76] I'm in.

[77] I haven't used a non -Apple product in a long time.

[78] Well, I got to think that, like I was said, and I, like I said, and I also got the Samsung Galaxy Note 9, the new one, and it's very good.

[79] Damn it!

[80] I wish it wasn't.

[81] Yeah.

[82] I wish it wasn't.

[83] Yeah, man. They figured it out.

[84] They figured some shit out.

[85] And it's also just like, it's they figured out the lifestyle of something where you're like, I'll take this branding.

[86] I'm a creative.

[87] Yeah.

[88] Remember those think different ads, the fuckers?

[89] Fucking worked, man. I was like, oh.

[90] Because I remember used to getting like that Apple of the MacBook Pro and be like, I'm going to edit.

[91] You know what I mean?

[92] Like, I'm going to get this Apple.

[93] I'm going to fucking, I'm going to start editing my own shit.

[94] Well, I remember hearing that Louis was editing his show with a 13 -inch MacBook.

[95] He edited his whole show.

[96] Yeah.

[97] And he liked doing it on the little MacBook for some stranger.

[98] Yeah, on a plane or doing whatever.

[99] I get it.

[100] I never edit anything.

[101] I can never fucking bring this.

[102] Do you ever do it?

[103] Does your brain work that way?

[104] Are you good, like, with a manual and shit?

[105] I feel like your brain works that way a little bit, no?

[106] I mean, I could, but I just don't have any desire.

[107] Yeah.

[108] It's like your brain has a, at some point decided, like, I have a certain amount of capacity in my brain, and I don't want to use any of that for anything that I don't.

[109] I'm not interested in.

[110] It's a good point.

[111] Yeah.

[112] And sometimes some people like that stuff, it's just like, it's, I've never been drawn to anything like that, and I'm just not interested.

[113] Like, as soon as I could have someone else, like, do my taxes, I was like, I don't want to think about that.

[114] Yeah.

[115] I don't want to do it.

[116] Well, it's all about bandwidth, right?

[117] Yeah.

[118] Like, what do you spend?

[119] you're thinking on.

[120] You could do all those other things, but how much would that be annoying?

[121] Yeah.

[122] And how much would it fuck up the things that you like to do?

[123] Yeah.

[124] And some people love that stuff.

[125] Like, I have a buddy who's a successful actor who still does his own taxes, pays his rights out his own residual checks.

[126] He fucking, he likes it.

[127] You know what I mean?

[128] I'm like, all right, good for you.

[129] Like, enjoy it.

[130] That's joyful.

[131] That brings you joy.

[132] Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about getting ripped off.

[133] That's, I think that's part of it.

[134] Chuck Pollanick was here.

[135] and his agent stole all of his money.

[136] No. Yeah, millions.

[137] Really?

[138] Yeah, he's broke.

[139] It's crazy.

[140] And what happened to the, is he going after the fucking agent?

[141] He's going to jail.

[142] Yeah.

[143] Fuck.

[144] Guy stole millions from him and a bunch of other people and they don't know where the money is.

[145] He's hoping he can get some of it back.

[146] They might be able to find some of it.

[147] But the agent stole from several different clients.

[148] Whoa.

[149] Some madman.

[150] And Chuck writes like, Chuck writes books about like, watch out fucking.

[151] Yeah, he writes books about creepy.

[152] people doing creepy shit yeah someone did it to him fuck yeah dain's brother and lost his brother stole his money right i think it's his half brother his half brother yeah stole like seven million dollars and wouldn't tell anybody where it is still fuck you i'm going to jail yeah and i think i think he might be out i think he might be out of jail is he looking for new clients yeah i think uh i think you like put it in coffee cans and shit and drove across the country and buried in holes yeah i mean if you have they would be able to find it if they got a hold of your GPS unit but if you got like a Garmin GPS unit of people use them to go hiking you can you know mark where your camp is but you could you could do some like geotagging shit you could totally do that you could go to the fucking woods and go to a tree and dig a hole next to that tree deep into the ground drop a coffee can with a million dollars in it Geotat put a little tag on and come back to it I don't know well there's something about yeah there's something about a coffee can that's very pleasing in the idea of like rolls of money in like a yeah in like a chalk full of nuts or whatever that coffee is like a fulgers crystals yeah it was probably garbage bags you know fargo was just on the other day and it's like bouchemmy hiding that money and then he like he's it's like he he takes it like he's got his window scraper and he's in the you know far it's just like desolate snow for miles and he just like he sticks the like the window scraper into the snow to mark where he's hidden the money and it's like oh this guy's fucked he's never getting that money he's just like there's no horizon line it's just snow and fucking sky screwed you ever watch the new version of it with Billy Bob Thornton is it good I heard it's great season one's good season two is I think for my money like the best television like season two of that show is unbelievable and season three is very good but season two is unfucking believable it's like in the 70s who's in it uh Kirsten Dunst in it but like Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Duns, who's the fucking, I don't even remember, but it's great.

[153] It's great.

[154] I liked all three seasons of that show, but season two to me is like unstoppable.

[155] Are they still making it or are they done?

[156] They might go make some more in a year or two.

[157] I think they were talking about making one.

[158] I think Chris Rock might be attached to do.

[159] Oh, that's right.

[160] Yeah, I saw something like that.

[161] I saw something like that.

[162] But I don't know what the deal is with it.

[163] And season three is great, but season two is fucking...

[164] Dane Cook's half -brother and sister -in -law must repay $12 million.

[165] Is this new?

[166] That's just from 2010 when it happened.

[167] He got six years in jail and 16 years probation, so he'd be out by now.

[168] Wow, so he's out.

[169] Whoa.

[170] Six years in the pokey in 2010.

[171] Yeah, he's out.

[172] I think he just got out, dude.

[173] Because I remember seeing something about $12 million he stole from him.

[174] Fuck.

[175] Must repay.

[176] Okay, I don't have it.

[177] Yeah, what do you do?

[178] How does that work?

[179] Keep him in jail.

[180] I mean, the guy just stayed in jail.

[181] Like, he could have, apparently, that's just, I might be getting this wrong, but I do remember some of the story was they, they were offering leniency if he gave some of the money back.

[182] It's like, nah.

[183] Fuck it.

[184] No, I'm not going to give it back.

[185] There's a case like that.

[186] That's how much of the gold.

[187] What's that?

[188] Some guy that found a bunch of gold.

[189] He's in jail because he won't tell him where it is, and he owes people, like, I don't arguably hundreds of millions of dollars or something like that because of how much it's worth.

[190] He found the gold?

[191] He, like, he found the gold, and then he got investors to give him the money.

[192] to help him go to go retrieve it oh and once he got it he's like I don't know where it is oh was it like a shipwreck deal yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of money in shipwrecks I was watching a documentary on these billionaires or rich folks rather who finance these guys to go hunting for treasure and there's they know where some Roman ships have sunk and so they go looking for these Spanish galleons and Roman ships filled with gold coins that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars and, you know, it's like this crazy gamble because the ocean's fucking gigantic.

[193] Yeah, and also like, I guess gold, does gold maintain its, it's like substance after it really does.

[194] Yeah, it really does.

[195] I guess that's why it's fucking gold.

[196] Earlier this year.

[197] Holy grail of shipwrecks.

[198] $17 billion.

[199] $17 billion in gold they found it?

[200] Yeah, off of Massachusetts.

[201] Fines a shipwreck with a treasure of up to, oh my God.

[202] 17 billion.

[203] And so, and someone finance.

[204] It's the icon?

[205] No. I thought that was Carl Econ.

[206] That's fucking wild, man. So where is this fucking...

[207] This is in Cape Cod.

[208] God damn.

[209] The 310 -year -old ship, Spanish ship.

[210] Wow.

[211] That's amazing.

[212] Yeah, there was a bunch of those.

[213] I mean, you imagine taking a fucking boat that you made out of trees, filling it up with metal.

[214] And trying to float it across the fucking ocean.

[215] With, like, a map that some fucking drunk dude wrote.

[216] And no knowledge at all about.

[217] Storm's coming.

[218] Like, I hope we don't get hit by one.

[219] Who fuck knows?

[220] You got a farmer's alman out and shit.

[221] I think about that all the time.

[222] I just think about a letter.

[223] I just think about, like, families, like, immigrants coming over to this country and, like, you know, wherever.

[224] Fucking Ireland, Poland, Russia, whatever you want to say, like, turn of the 19, 20, whatever, hundreds of years ago.

[225] People get over here and they're like, I made it.

[226] Okay?

[227] I went to New York, and now I'm in Rochester.

[228] Wherever the fuck I ended up.

[229] And then they have to send a letter that hopefully goes back.

[230] across the ocean, and then to, like, some fucking mailman who's drunk and dies a heart attack in the mud in Poland, and you're like, you hope it gets to you to be like, yeah, okay, I'll go meet you in Rochester.

[231] Like, I'm blown away that anybody caught in touch with anybody and found their family or, I don't know.

[232] You would think you would make, like, duplicate letters.

[233] I guess so.

[234] That has to be it, right?

[235] They just were like, I don't know if you got the last one, but heads up.

[236] Yeah, I'm, you know I'm a fucking slave in Rochester But I mean, imagine the patience that people had back then Because like I'll get an email from someone And then I'll get an email like an hour later Did you get that email?

[237] Like Jesus Christ, bro Yeah Relax That was just like I was I was I saw a buddy of mine who I'd been I met in, and we were in Europe And we met these kids in October Fest They had lived in Germany And we were like meeting up with them in October Fest and this was before email and cell phones and you just were like I'm going to be at the fucking 210 train in Munich like I hope you're there and that was it that was like you hoped that you connected and that was that there was no like hey I'm texting I'm five minutes late or like I'm emailing you to let you know like we'll meet at the McDonald's or whatever the fuck it was it's crazy yeah so it's amazing that anything got done and the people met and got married and had kids and then they traveled across the world and then came back a month later and found their family people were waiting for them.

[238] Yeah, and they did it and it happened.

[239] All the time.

[240] I mean, and maybe shit didn't have, I don't know, I guess it's like...

[241] You ever watch the show Vikings?

[242] No. It's a good show.

[243] Well, one of the things that's crazy is these motherfuckers would get on boats and they'd go just row across the ocean, kill a bunch of people and come back six months later with some gold and everybody'd be waiting for them at the docks.

[244] It's like, what kind of life is this?

[245] Yeah, just waiting in the docks.

[246] It's like, there's no version of like, well, FYI, we'll be there.

[247] Yeah.

[248] Like, it's not even like you're going to, we'll just send the motorboat ahead to, like, let everybody know that we're going to be there in, like, a month.

[249] That's it.

[250] We're going to, people are going to one day laugh at how ridiculous it is to send a text message.

[251] Like, these guys weren't even telepathic.

[252] Right.

[253] Could you imagine?

[254] They had to text each other.

[255] Right.

[256] They'd just send pictures because they couldn't see what the other person was actually seeing.

[257] Yeah, dude.

[258] It's just going to be all in a fucking contact lens.

[259] Is that what's going to happen?

[260] You're just going to have a chip.

[261] It's going to be a chip.

[262] It's going to be like black mirror, for sure.

[263] Yeah.

[264] How far off do you think?

[265] 20 years max yeah i think it's going to happen so quick yeah just like cell phones happen so quick the iPhone was only what 11 years ago yeah that's crazy and i don't think the first iPhone had a camera did it have a camera on the first iPhone maybe it had something if you go back and look at your iphone pictures from like five years ago yeah you're like how dare you how dare you accept this is a fucking photo i bought an apple digital camera and it was a giant hunk of shit it was like this big, and it was one megapixel.

[266] It was fucking gigantic.

[267] It was so big.

[268] Yeah.

[269] It was just this brick.

[270] I remember going and buying that first, like a video camera, early 2000s to, like, put myself on tape in New York.

[271] Oh, yeah.

[272] You can hear the, you can hear the, and I would try to shoot myself to fucking try to get a, you know.

[273] There it is.

[274] That's what I had.

[275] Oh, wow.

[276] And that's a, and it's one megapixel.

[277] It's a piece of shit.

[278] And it was probably like $2 ,000.

[279] Probably.

[280] Yeah.

[281] And before that, when I first came out here in 1994, I had a meeting with this guy.

[282] It was like one of the big wigs at Disney.

[283] And he had a Newton.

[284] Do you remember a Newton?

[285] Yeah, vaguely.

[286] It was like a tablet.

[287] And he was all so happy about this.

[288] He had all very organized on his Newton.

[289] He was like this fucking, it was like a, he had a thesaurus with a screen.

[290] That's what it looked like this big story.

[291] stupid fucking thing.

[292] And it had, you know, a little stylist and he was writing things on it.

[293] Was this in the years, like, between when jobs had gotten fired and they were like, or was he still there?

[294] Yeah, that was, I think that was when, right?

[295] The lost years.

[296] I just saw a, Alan Alda just posted a thing on his old Atari commercials.

[297] I guess he was, like, the spokesman for Atari, and it's him talking about Atari you could also use for word processing.

[298] And then also that they had, like, a very early tablet.

[299] He's like, you can draw and paint on it.

[300] I was like, shit, that's not bad, man. This is like 84.

[301] Wow.

[302] Which I'm like, I don't know what that was, but it was Atari, early Atari shit.

[303] You could paint and draw on it, I guess.

[304] I don't know.

[305] Well, the things that they can do now, these new, oh, look at this.

[306] There's Alan Aldo.

[307] You're loving it.

[308] Yeah, it was.

[309] I love that voice.

[310] Any computer, you have to learn a few new things.

[311] But Atari is going to a lot of trouble to make it easier for you.

[312] See, that's testing.

[313] itself.

[314] Look how young you looks.

[315] Yeah, I know.

[316] Well, it's also funny because back then in the 80s, like, he looks young, but he also sort of looks like how, like...

[317] It looks like he's 40.

[318] Yeah, is that what it is?

[319] Yeah, but he's probably not 40.

[320] He's probably 30, but he looks 40.

[321] People used to look older.

[322] Yeah, they had shit nutrition and bad vitamins and doctors didn't know anything.

[323] Yeah, and like...

[324] And he's sort of graying.

[325] You don't know what it, you know?

[326] Yeah, no exercise.

[327] Well, he's, although, yeah.

[328] those guys it is crazy it's also you look at old movies and you're like they're like it's an old old movies where you're like carry grant or something you're like he's playing like the young bachelor and he's like he looks like fucking 60 and maybe he is 60 or maybe it's just like he was just fucking smoking and drinking and look like but he did not look good and you're like I'm still a bachelor yeah there was no health back then no one was healthy no man no one took yoga classes or lifted weights no There's no cross -fit.

[329] No, no. There was like, I'm smoking light cigarettes today.

[330] We played some clips from Spartacus and Kurt Douglas.

[331] Like you think of him as like a Roman soldier's.

[332] It's hilarious.

[333] He looked like a guy who like probably never worked out a day in his life.

[334] No. Yeah, and he's holding this, it looks like plastic sword.

[335] Right.

[336] And the sword looks so light.

[337] You can tell he's still just sort of like wanting to bring it down.

[338] Yeah, those old school bodies, old school body weightlifters are like, yeah, he's not.

[339] Yeah, look at his, is just everything about him.

[340] I think he was 40 when they made this movie.

[341] I think we looked it up.

[342] Yeah.

[343] Did you think he was, is he, again, you never know how old, like, how old is he supposed to be here?

[344] Yeah, he never know.

[345] But he looks old.

[346] Yeah, he's got that dizzle though.

[347] He looks like he'd be 60.

[348] Yeah.

[349] Look at his arm in the upper left -hand corner.

[350] Like, that is a ridiculous like an arm.

[351] You look at that now, and you're like, if the rockery made Spartacus right now, it would look just a little different.

[352] Yeah, like, look at that.

[353] Well, he's, like, thin from cigarettes.

[354] Yeah.

[355] Like, that's the extent of a workout.

[356] Look how slow everything is.

[357] It's so corny.

[358] I know.

[359] Shit used to be so...

[360] But I guess people didn't care.

[361] He's tan, though.

[362] Yeah, he is tan.

[363] Yeah.

[364] Guys had never done a squat in his fucking life.

[365] I don't know if they knew what squats were.

[366] They didn't.

[367] They didn't understand anything.

[368] Have you gone back and looked at, like, what fitness?

[369] Like, the guys who were into fitness, like, what they were doing?

[370] Yeah.

[371] I mean, I'm genuinely asking.

[372] I'm like, I don't know what they were doing for, they were just like fucking eating raw eggs, I'm assuming.

[373] Well, there was just very few of them.

[374] There was bodybuilders back then, but the numbers were so minuscule in comparison to people today.

[375] Like, you can go to any gym today.

[376] Like, you go to Equinox, and it's filled with jack people and women with giant butts and guys with big chests.

[377] See, that's all real shit.

[378] That's a great workout right there.

[379] They're hanging from those bars and doing push -ups and stuff like that.

[380] like some circuit training shit right there right but they're yeah but they're these are like high school kids though yeah this looks like yeah they look very young i that's all legit yeah but how old were they they were 18 right no and there's no one who was 40 who was doing that no if you go to the gym today you'll see like guys who are in their 50s who are jacked yeah man yeah it's a different world look at that that looks fun hey man i fucking love your show thank you this show is hilarious thanks man and the character the animation looks like you it has your lips in your nose it's really weird it's like it looks like you without looking like you you know what I'm saying it's like they captured it yeah it's weird it's uh someone posted it was right before the show came out this year someone was like someone posted like Japanese make we make our cartoons cuter um Americans let's make our characters ugly as fucking And it's, and it's my, it's me as, it's big mouth.

[381] It's me as a little fucking kid.

[382] And I was like, that's like, I was like, it's a bummer.

[383] That's exactly what I look like.

[384] It's, it's hilarious because it looks like you without looking like you.

[385] Yeah, yeah.

[386] There's a real gift to that when people, they figure out how to capture the perfect caricature.

[387] It's weird.

[388] And we give them, even when we, even if it's like, we try to like, when we have new characters, we'll just give them pictures of the people that are playing them and just let them find that version of them and even when we don't we'll give people references because there's something about capturing a real person that makes it specific in a way that you're like wow the dudes everybody can draw just like draw whoever which does work but still there's something about like being like no we want a guy who looks like Rogan like they'll they'll get that essence that creates something that feels more real it's so weird but they're great we have a killer team of people designing all those characters what i love about your show is well i like a lot of things about it but one of the things that i love about is that you really can only do that on netflix yeah it's just like there's it's so unharnessed yes it's just it's just wild and hilarious and there's no boundaries to it that's one of the more amazing things about something like netflix is that there's just you could do whatever you can do whatever you can do whatever length you want you can do you can do whatever you want you have no advertisers who you're either supporting or in competition with so we can mention brands they don't really care about that they don't care there's no you know when you're a network TV it's like you got to get an act break you got the first act has to be eight minutes second act has to be blah blah blah blah and even when there's there's more flexibility now but they but also most importantly they just basically let us do whatever the fuck we want that's amazing yeah they've been very good partners creatively have you done a stand -up special with them no I did one special years ago for Comedy Central did you just did your just came out yeah just came yeah how was how was the experience it was this is the second one well I've done three with them yes I did one with them in 2005 a long time whoa yeah way back in the day and then I did one two years ago in this one they're fucking amazing yeah they don't bother you at all no they just leave you on they go you're funny yeah you want to do a special yeah Okay, go ahead.

[389] Yeah, that's kind of the thing.

[390] They're just like, you've proven that you can do your thing.

[391] We're not going to get in the way.

[392] And I think they realize, like, oh, we don't get in the way.

[393] We just have less work to do.

[394] And if they find someone like you that is a funny guy, they just, they know you're going to try your best.

[395] Yeah.

[396] Yeah, like, you're funny.

[397] You're going to, you want it to be really good.

[398] It's not a money grab.

[399] Yeah.

[400] I mean, it's like you want to go, you want to go fucking do it and do it well, and you know that everybody's going to see it.

[401] That's the thing with them right now is you're like, I don't know about you, but it's like, I just want, if I'm going to spend a lot of time making something, I want the most amount of possible eyeballs that I can get.

[402] Yeah.

[403] And that's what they do.

[404] Well, especially for a comedy special, there's really no other game in town.

[405] I mean, I've had friends that did something on HBO, and I'm like, oh.

[406] Yeah.

[407] And it's like, I mean, I'm sure.

[408] If it doesn't air, if you don't see it that night.

[409] Right.

[410] There's some streaming services.

[411] I know there's HBO Go, but I would love.

[412] to see the numbers.

[413] How many people are actually using those things?

[414] I would love to see the numbers across the board.

[415] But it is now.

[416] It just feels like we were, because we went out, we went out wide with the show.

[417] We had a couple different offers.

[418] And Netflix just seemed like the place where it was like, they weren't going to creatively fuck with us.

[419] And they were, and everyone was going to have a chance to see it.

[420] And we were going to get, like, kids.

[421] Like, we were going to get anyone.

[422] Like, we have like 13 year old, 12, 13 year old kids watching the show.

[423] Whoa.

[424] Which is crazy.

[425] Yeah.

[426] Because it's fucking dirty.

[427] Yeah, it gets pretty dirty.

[428] Yeah.

[429] But I love that, the masturbation demon.

[430] You're the hormone monster?

[431] Tell yourself, too.

[432] Is that your voice?

[433] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's me. That was, we got the, my Andrew was like, my partner's on it, Andrew Goldberg and Mark Levin and Jen Flaggut were like, they were like, they were talking about it because Mark and Jen have a kid who was around that age when we started doing it.

[434] They were just talking about hormones and all that shit and they're like, we should have a hormone monster.

[435] And then they were like, yeah, it should just be a hormone monster.

[436] And then Andrew called me. He was like, we're thinking about doing like a hormone monster.

[437] And I just immediately was just like, touch yourself, Andrew.

[438] And it just became, it was like, okay, got it.

[439] All right, we got him.

[440] We got him fucking locked down.

[441] And it is, I mean, we have those.

[442] We all have those things, you know?

[443] Yeah.

[444] Sometimes they get integrated.

[445] Sometimes they don't.

[446] Well, it's, I just love that, like, what you see in South Park and what you see in Bill Burr's show, F is for family.

[447] There's things that you can do in an animal.

[448] animated show that are physically impossible in any other form and it's amazing yeah it's an amazing format especially for i think for us like for if you're a especially if you're like a comedy brain that doesn't necessarily come straight out of like classic sitcom writing that what you have other weird ways of getting into something and you want to be able to personify it and like animation just allows you to do it and also allows you to fucking have a bunch like You couldn't do live action stuff with kids the way we have.

[449] It's just too uncomfortable, but you see it in animation, and you can get away, be like, all right, let's have the Statue Liberty talk to that girl, and let's have this hormone monster in this season.

[450] It would be unethical.

[451] It would be.

[452] If you had children, actors, have you ever worked with kid actors?

[453] A little bit, yeah.

[454] I only did it once.

[455] I did this show called Hardball, and there was a little kid.

[456] It was like a bat boy, and there was a little girl who was on the show, and they were both, like, early teens, like 13, 14.

[457] And it was weird.

[458] I felt weird.

[459] Yeah.

[460] Because everyone else is adults and they would swear and say fucked up.

[461] You have to look over your shoulder, see if the kid's around.

[462] Yeah.

[463] You say something crazy.

[464] I had to deal with a kid.

[465] I was on the show called The League.

[466] And I had a son on the show who was, you know, aged up every year.

[467] But by the last, you know, seasons four or five, he was like from like seven to like nine.

[468] And it was crazy because we were doing some crazy shit.

[469] And there's a scene where he's like eating ice chicken.

[470] out of a urinal.

[471] He'd go on, like, urinal cookies or something like that.

[472] It was like, and it was fun.

[473] It was a clean, you know, we made sure it was all good, but still, and, like, we had him doing some fucked up shit, and you're like, all right, and the mom was there.

[474] The mom was cool with all of it, but it was like, it wasn't just like even a sitcom where it's like, oh, we're going to have a little, maybe someone on set saying something weird, like, we're having this kid doing some weird shit, and it was like, okay, I hope this is all right, you know?

[475] What year did you get in the show business?

[476] How old was I or like, I was like 20, I graduated.

[477] I started doing open mics like, oh, two, I was 23, 24.

[478] Yeah, that's a good year.

[479] That's a perfect year.

[480] You're a young adult.

[481] Yeah.

[482] You're a young adult.

[483] Yeah.

[484] What about you?

[485] I was 21.

[486] Yeah.

[487] Yeah.

[488] Young adult.

[489] Yeah, which I was like, and it took a while to like get it all rolling, but it was, it was, I do think the early, I mean, there are a few people who seem to start young who were okay.

[490] But it's tough, man. I never met one.

[491] They're all crazy.

[492] Have you met Seth Rogen at all?

[493] Have you dealt with Seth?

[494] Yeah, how old was Seth when he...

[495] He was on Freaks and Geeks when he was like 16.

[496] Maybe that was the cutoff age.

[497] Yeah.

[498] That's the age where you could pull it off.

[499] Yeah.

[500] Because you have enough awkward, uncomfortable, actual years as an adult.

[501] He also had like a few years on that show and then that show got canceled and he like didn't have much of a, like, there were a few lean years there.

[502] That's probably good for.

[503] where I think it like made him a regular human being because I'm trying to think there were no kids on news radio right there were no were there any lifetime there were there like a act there no they're all they were all adults yes all adults except Andy Dick and Dick's just whatever he is yeah have you had him on recent where it's yeah I had him on once I'm like that's enough yeah yeah I ran him in the comedy story the other day he he's not he's banned now is he banned again he uh he uh He licked Earl Skakel's face.

[504] And he's just, there's drunk Andy, and when drunk Andy's around, you just got to get the fuck out of there.

[505] You know, you can tell the difference.

[506] It's two different guys, man. He's very aggressive.

[507] Yeah.

[508] He gets, like, bangs in the car window.

[509] And you're like, oh, no, it's drunk Andy.

[510] Yeah.

[511] And Sober Andy's a fucking sweetheart.

[512] Wonderful guy.

[513] And so funny, man. He's a hilarious guy.

[514] We did scenes together where we had to do the take five, six times because I couldn't stay straight.

[515] Yeah.

[516] I kept cracking.

[517] Well, you can't stay straight with Andy.

[518] Yeah.

[519] But he is, he is, he's so funny.

[520] But I had, I did a, I did a early, one of my first things I did a, like a voice on American dad, and I did, they had me do Andy Dick.

[521] And I was so psyched to get a gig.

[522] You know what I mean?

[523] I was like, I'm not, my favorite thing is not doing other comedians.

[524] Like, there's some weird kind of code that I don't know what.

[525] Yeah.

[526] You know what I mean.

[527] You feel like a dick.

[528] You feel like a dick.

[529] I try not to talk shit about comedian.

[530] It just, it's like, I don't.

[531] know why it's like i did it it was one of my first gigs it was like oh cool i got to be on american dad i did andy dick i was looking back i would not probably do it now where you know did you do it over the top i don't know i just did andy dick i don't know i mean isn't andy kind of over the top as he you know what i mean like yeah i did not mean it was not been like oh i'm gonna go fucking get Andy Dick, but anyway, when I saw him, since then, I've seen him over the years and I like him and I think he, when he's sober, he's like, you know, I saw your impression of me. And he's like, and he's kind of like, it's funny, you know, and then I've seen him drunk and he's like, so, you know, it's like a very different, it's a very different version of it.

[532] And I'm like, But, you know, but I get it, man. If someone did a fucking impression of me on some animated show, I don't know.

[533] I'm like, no, I'll do the impression of me. Yeah.

[534] I'll, let me control my narrative here.

[535] I think you got to take your lumps.

[536] I guess so.

[537] If you're dishing them out, you got to take your lumps.

[538] Well, because then he's done it, you know.

[539] But you go back and watch the Stiller show.

[540] He's funny as shit, man. Oh, that was a great show.

[541] People forgot about the Stiller show.

[542] Yeah.

[543] That was a fucking great show.

[544] Him, Odenkirk, Janine Grofellow, Stiller, a bunch of, I think Apatow rode out.

[545] That was a crazy group of people.

[546] What year was that?

[547] That's midnight or maybe even earlier.

[548] 92, 92, 90.

[549] It had to be pre -news radio.

[550] I think it was pre -nors radio.

[551] When does news radio?

[552] 94.

[553] Did you come right out here and get news radio?

[554] How old were you going to get news radio?

[555] 27.

[556] I was on something else.

[557] I was on a show called Hardball when I was 26 and it was canceled.

[558] Yeah.

[559] It was a baseball sitcom.

[560] It's terrible baseball sitcom on Fox.

[561] That's the one where I did with the little kids.

[562] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[563] But that did like six episodes and it got canceled.

[564] And I was ready to move back to New York.

[565] I hated it out here.

[566] But I got a lease on an apartment.

[567] And I had to stay here for a year.

[568] I'm like, I have this place.

[569] I bought a couch.

[570] I bought a TV.

[571] I got a stereo.

[572] I can see how it goes, man. Yeah, I remember I got a stereo.

[573] You're like, this has a six CD.

[574] changer.

[575] I'm not about to fucking move across the country.

[576] I ain't going anywhere.

[577] You remember that?

[578] There was like, oh, you could put so many CDs in this fucking stereo.

[579] It's amazing.

[580] Yeah.

[581] You have people over and it would go random on you.

[582] You'd let it do random.

[583] Yeah.

[584] It felt like a boss.

[585] Yeah.

[586] Then there were people who had like 100 CD changers.

[587] Oh, yeah.

[588] I had a tower.

[589] Yeah.

[590] Stacked a tower with all CDs in it?

[591] I just opened up my, I just opened up my cabinet with all my DVDs and like all that shit, which I haven't looked at.

[592] And I haven't looked at in like five, six years.

[593] I still have a stack of VHS tapes that I won't throw away.

[594] Yeah.

[595] There's some of them that I just like, I don't think I can get this anywhere.

[596] Do you still have a VHS player?

[597] Yes.

[598] Really?

[599] Yeah, I have one.

[600] Yeah.

[601] Whoa.

[602] I haven't even touched it.

[603] I'm curious.

[604] Five years.

[605] I haven't even touched it.

[606] Have you gone back and did you have your camera?

[607] I just went back and digitized a bunch of like stuff that I shot on like, you know, my little DV stuff.

[608] You know what?

[609] I haven't done that.

[610] And I don't either I'm going to.

[611] I just feel like I don't have any time.

[612] I know.

[613] Just let it go.

[614] It's gone.

[615] I feel that way with, yeah.

[616] I'm more inclined to do that today because everything is, everyone's taking photos of everything and video of everything.

[617] And I just feel, I don't have time to look at them.

[618] Like if I went and looked into my eye photo from like seven, eight years ago, just started going through all the pictures.

[619] The only thing I keep is photos of my kids.

[620] I keep those.

[621] I keep photos of your kids too.

[622] Thank you.

[623] It's a very kind of you.

[624] I'll go to you if I need backup.

[625] Yeah, you got it.

[626] But other than that, that's it.

[627] Yeah, like, what am I going to do?

[628] Well, it's like we're, I feel like we're in a, I feel like I have a goldfish brain.

[629] Like, I feel like I just like swim and five minutes later, it's gone.

[630] Yeah.

[631] You know what I mean?

[632] And I feel like I am constantly in that space.

[633] And I feel like we record all this shit and then we don't really look back.

[634] Maybe some people look back, but I'm the same way.

[635] I think we're in and day.

[636] We're overrun by information.

[637] I don't think our brains are even remotely capable of processing the amount of raw data that comes to.

[638] If you check your Google news feed, then you check your Twitter feed, and then people send me things in email, and I check those out.

[639] I don't have the time or the storage.

[640] It's just, it goes in and it goes out.

[641] Yeah.

[642] I have, well, I just was like, I use the Google app on my phone to, like, search shit.

[643] Yeah, me too.

[644] And I'll go on there, but now Google's got, like, stories that thinks I'm going to be interested.

[645] it in and then I'll be like oh fuck I guess I got to look up whatever's going on and then like 30 minutes later I'm like why did I go to Google what was it what was I going in there for that's my toilet time yes when I'm taking a dump I'll open that app up and next thing you know my legs are numb totally you're like limping out of the bathroom with the weird red impressions on like right above your knee and it doesn't make any sense it's like I didn't get anything out of that nothing I feel like if you have discipline if you could avoid that the good stories will come to you.

[646] Yes.

[647] The ones that you need to hear about, like, dude, have you fucking heard about what happened to, and like, okay, then you hear about it.

[648] Yes, it is, or, because I also, there was a period of time where I was, like, not reading the news, I was parsing, I was piecing together the news based off of people's Twitter jokes.

[649] You know what I mean?

[650] Where I was like, okay, I'm going to put the math together.

[651] I think, like, you know, I think there's been a hurricane somewhere.

[652] Yeah.

[653] But I feel like my downtime, I think I'm scared of having actual downtime because when I have actual downtime, I spend so much time inside my phone and that stresses me out.

[654] So like if I'm working, I don't have time to be looking at my phone and then I'm like just work, you know what I mean?

[655] But it's, and it's, I'm scared of like downtime.

[656] Yeah, downtime and phone time, they are very bad for you.

[657] It's just, it's not healthy.

[658] It's not a normal interaction.

[659] And if you're, like, looking at shit that you're freaking out about that as not.

[660] Like, I was, I was freaking out today about the, what's going on in Portland.

[661] There's all these Antifa riots that are happening and they're blocking traffic.

[662] Really?

[663] Yeah, and people are trying to drive for their job.

[664] And the Antifa people are telling them, go right, we're closing the street off.

[665] And they got, like, masks on shit.

[666] And the Portland mayor apparently is not doing anything about it.

[667] And they're, just stressing.

[668] Smash some, they're banging on some dude's car because he refused to fucking go right.

[669] He wanted to go straight through the street.

[670] They were literally directing traffic.

[671] And there's all these videos of where people are freaking out.

[672] Because Portland is just, it's a great city.

[673] It's so fun.

[674] But it's so overly progressive that you have this section of super far left maniacs that are, that have gathered and have found a cause.

[675] and now they've decided that they're going to, and these are white people screaming out, fuck white people.

[676] The whole thing is so crazy.

[677] It's like, it's so misguided.

[678] I just want to eat delicious food in Portland.

[679] I just want to eat like fresh food.

[680] It's a good place for comedy, too.

[681] It is fun.

[682] It's a great comedy town.

[683] It's so, it's a great town.

[684] Yeah, it's the best.

[685] It's just, you know, when you get a town of millions of people, you're going to have a fucking few thousand assholes.

[686] There's just no way around that.

[687] Yeah.

[688] Everywhere I've gone that.

[689] I see you find that.

[690] The Pacific Northwest is interesting, just like I found the homeless vibes in Portland, Seattle, and San Francisco.

[691] It's intense right now.

[692] You know, Seattle or rather San Francisco has a new app that you can locate human shit on to alert the health department.

[693] It's like a crap app.

[694] I love it.

[695] Only in San Francisco there's like, it's a startup.

[696] They have a real problem.

[697] They have a giant problem over there.

[698] Dude, it's intense, man. It's intense.

[699] They got too liberal.

[700] They let two, they were just too open -minded with the homeless folks.

[701] Fuck.

[702] And these people are just shitting, openly shitting in the gutter.

[703] Look at that.

[704] There's the poop map.

[705] Oh, I like that the coloring.

[706] I wonder when they discovered they're like, we can do varying levels of breath.

[707] What is that area that seems to be covered?

[708] Is it like that's downtown and Barkadero like right off the mission and shit?

[709] Fuck.

[710] Look how much shit there is.

[711] That's the poop area.

[712] That is crazy.

[713] Like on all those corners, this human shit.

[714] Oh, man. That is crazy.

[715] And that's not an exaggeration.

[716] I was there.

[717] My friend Jake put it up on his Instagram, a guy with his pants down, just spraying shit out of his ass into the street.

[718] He was standing on the sidewalk, ass to the street, just spraying.

[719] Dude, I mean, I do that, but that's like, I go, that.

[720] But I do it for art. It's art. It's my art. You know what I mean?

[721] And it's for leisure.

[722] I got to do something to take my mind off work.

[723] Have you ever shit in public?

[724] Have you ever had a public shitting?

[725] Not on purpose.

[726] Yeah, I shit my pants.

[727] a couple times in public, but I mean, I kept it in, like, inside my clothing.

[728] Yeah, I shit my pants.

[729] I was thinking about, I was coming in here being like, do I have any, like, I'm like, I don't do MMA or anything.

[730] I was like, what did I ever do?

[731] I was like, oh, right, I did karate until I was like seven.

[732] And I did it, and I like, I remember being, I was in a class with a bunch of cops in my town.

[733] They had like a self -defense class, and I was friends with like a cop.

[734] And so he was like, come take the karate classroom.

[735] I was like, sure.

[736] we go in to take it and it was and I'm wearing that like the ghee and it's fucking you know I was sick so I just kept nodding it you know what I mean you're just like oh I'm fucking and I kept nodding it and then I go to class and I'd like I'd eaten fettuccini alfredo I was fucking and I'm sitting there and I'm like taking the class doing my little kicks and then I'm like I gotta go to the bathroom and I get to the bathroom and I can't untie the knots it's too many fucking nods and I just I'm sick I just fucking spray diarrhea down my gie and then like go back to class you know what I mean and like all these cops yeah these cops are like this little dirty little fuck and I was like I think that's the last time I took karate that was the end of my mixed martial arts career yeah that could be a problem have you ever fought so hard that you like lose like a marathon does that happen like with you shake yourself yeah like marathon guys have done that inside the octagon for sure yeah there's actually a new rule in some athletic commissions, they stop a fight just for hygiene concerns.

[737] Someone shits themselves.

[738] Sure.

[739] But it's happened many times.

[740] Yeah, because you think if you got an open wound and you got shit, there's like some...

[741] Yeah, real issues.

[742] Yeah, there's some real duty...

[743] There's some major duty issues there.

[744] Be real problem.

[745] Yeah.

[746] Fuck.

[747] And there was that marathon runner who lost her, like...

[748] Yeah, that's happened a bunch of times apparently.

[749] Marathon runners shit themselves all the time, just keep running.

[750] I'm not...

[751] See, I'm not that...

[752] Are you that way, isn't it?

[753] Like, you'll push your, like, I'm like, I would never push myself to that point where I'm like, yeah, I'll push myself to the fuck.

[754] It really depends on what it meant to me. I mean, I mean, if I had some deep emotional reason to finish this marathon, like my dad died or something.

[755] You know what I mean?

[756] Have you done that?

[757] Bert and Ari run marathons, right?

[758] I don't think Ari's ever run a marathon.

[759] His dad did.

[760] His dad ran a marathon.

[761] His dad is a Holocaust survivor in his 80s, and he ran a six -hour marathon.

[762] And we were telling Bert, there's no fucking way you're going to beat Ari's dad.

[763] Ari's dad's in his 80s.

[764] Bert, you're a fat fuck.

[765] But he did.

[766] He beat him by like a half hour.

[767] Bert did it in like five hours and 30 minutes.

[768] But Ari's dad was like 70s, 80s running a marathon.

[769] 80s, yeah.

[770] I think he's 82.

[771] If you can survive the Holocaust, man, what's a fucking marathon?

[772] You know what I mean?

[773] Well, he was also in the Israeli army.

[774] He was a tough old dude.

[775] Well, yeah.

[776] But you look at Ari, you're like, I could see.

[777] It's like there's that version of.

[778] like that skinny Jew that can like run a marathon like I buy that yeah it's like I can see that well when we started doing this fitness thing Ari had you know we have the sober October thing and there's this fitness challenge attached to it and Ari literally hadn't worked out at all in I think he said 10 years I think 10 years ago he was taking jiu -jitsu with me that's the last time he did any exercise at all how did he how's he doing he's doing great he's in second place right now he's right behind me it is a game of genetics on some level right it's just a game of will yeah yeah because this thing this this thing that we're using all it does is measure your heart rate so if you're just willing to keep your heart rate elevated and push yourself right it just depends on yeah like what is your level of competition you're like that you want to fucking yeah and what is your how strong is your will that's really what it is is there anything to it if it's like if you have an exercise in 10 years and you all of a sudden start to exercise your heart rate goes up naturally because it's like what the fuck's going on You were trying to think that, like, maybe he's so fucking out of shape that he's just, like, walking, his heart rate's pinned.

[779] But I don't think so.

[780] But, see, this thing is very flawed, this fucking, this thing that we have, because it gives you the same amount of points for 80 % of your heart rate as it does for 90.

[781] So for the first day, I was like, I'm going to bury these motherfuckers.

[782] And I pegged my heart rate at 90 for, like, 35 minutes.

[783] I was like, I'm just going to leave them in the dust.

[784] They can't keep up.

[785] And then I found out that all you have to do is keep it at 80, which is like 143 beats per minute, which is easy.

[786] You'd walk and talk and keep it at 143.

[787] If you're on an elliptical machine, you could have a full -on conversation, no problem, at 143 beats a minute.

[788] Right, right.

[789] So it's flawed.

[790] It's a little flawed.

[791] And there's that difference between 80 and 90 % where you're like getting that extra burn.

[792] But it's the amount of the sheer time you put in.

[793] That's what's separating everybody in this little challenge.

[794] Ari will put in two and a half hours.

[795] Like, he will watch a movie and just keep his heart rate pegged at 143, 146 beats a minute for two and a half hours.

[796] Just because he wants to fucking beat you guys.

[797] Yeah, he just wants to win.

[798] And he wants, and he's been talking mad shit about it.

[799] I was, I was, at first I was like, you know what, this contest is so fucking stupid.

[800] There's no real, like, stakes.

[801] Like, there's nothing, we haven't established what happens to the loser.

[802] You know, we haven't established what the winner gets other than a belt.

[803] We have a belt.

[804] So over October belt Like a WWE belt Yeah sure Getting one made That's so funny But it's just It doesn't That's all just wanting to beat your friends Yes But and for a while I was like Fuck I'm just gonna do my normal workout And if they beat me They beat me And then I thought about it I was like I can't let that happen So I started ramping it up I decided Over the last couple days I took three days off Because I had to go to Vegas And I had to work And then I decided Yesterday I'm gonna fuck these guys up So yesterday and today I've been hitting it hard I did three and a half hours today Yeah, that's crazy Do you feel good?

[805] I feel great Yeah I mean yeah And physically do you feel different Yeah do you do or do not feel different Like being completely sober Well I'm definitely high as fuck From all this running Yeah There's no doubt about that That's real Like runners high is legit Like if you run for two hours And then a rock falls in your car From the sky You'd be like Hmm guess I lost my car Right He gets so silly And I get the same way from yoga You get silly There's a silliness to you Yeah I don't I hate running so much I fucking hate it I'd rather go Like I started playing soccer again Soccer's great Yeah That's serious aerobic workout That's intense Like I finish that My problem is I turn bright red As soon as I do anything With any And I'm like The color like A deep maroon And I'm like But it's great.

[806] But I need a game attached to it.

[807] I can't just run.

[808] That's why Jiu -Jitsu is so good for me. That's why I love about Jiu -Jitsu.

[809] You're doing something.

[810] Yes.

[811] You're doing a martial art. Yeah.

[812] It's exhausting.

[813] Yes.

[814] And you get a great workout in while you're having fun.

[815] Beating the shit out of somebody.

[816] Yeah.

[817] Choking people.

[818] Yeah.

[819] Never mind.

[820] That's not.

[821] I'm like, I'll go play soccer.

[822] And then slightly injure myself.

[823] Now I'm like, as I'm getting older, it's like every time I do it, I do something to fuck up my body.

[824] You definitely can do that.

[825] You know what we have here that's amazing.

[826] We have this HTC Vive.

[827] It's a virtual reality headset, and there's a boxing game.

[828] So you put this headset on, and you're standing.

[829] You see boxing gloves in front of you, and there's a dude in front of you.

[830] It looks really good.

[831] And you throw punches, and his head snaps back.

[832] So you get that aerobic workout without pounding your fucking head.

[833] And when he hits you, you see sparks.

[834] Really?

[835] Boom, like you hit you.

[836] Yeah, you don't feel anything, but it makes you nervous.

[837] Like, damn, he got me. Yeah.

[838] Yeah, like, I've done rounds where you fight these people and you get exhausted.

[839] Boxing seems to be a crazy aerobic workout.

[840] It's great.

[841] Yeah.

[842] The getting hit in the head thing is fucking terrible for you, though.

[843] It's so bad for you.

[844] Yeah, man. I've never been, I've been so averse to that shit.

[845] I was talking to Louis about that because he was boxing for a while, and he was like, I love sparring.

[846] I go, you're sparring.

[847] He goes, yeah.

[848] I go, how often he's sparring?

[849] And he's like, you're sparring quite a bit.

[850] I go, dude.

[851] I go, I know you're having a good time, but you have to understand.

[852] Man, like, there's real consequences to this.

[853] You're getting in car accidents constantly.

[854] You're getting hit.

[855] If you're getting hit in the head, like, that counts.

[856] And you're doing it when you're 48 years old, like, this, and you're fat.

[857] Like, so you're not moving a lot.

[858] Right.

[859] You don't got great head movement of shit.

[860] And, like, your muscles aren't there to, like, take whatever that.

[861] There's real consequences to getting hit.

[862] So how often do you do that?

[863] I don't do that at all.

[864] You never get hit in the head.

[865] No, I don't do it at all.

[866] No. No. I stopped doing it a long time ago.

[867] Yeah.

[868] It's just, it's, I hit the bag.

[869] I'll hit pads and I'll light spar with someone who I know real well where I won't hit them and they won't, you know, if we touch each other, it'll be like, like this.

[870] But what about you?

[871] Yeah, what about all like.

[872] She just is different because it's just choking and the arm bars and stuff like that.

[873] It's not.

[874] There's no like, there's no hitting each other.

[875] The hitting in the head is fun.

[876] It's fun.

[877] It's fun to hit people.

[878] It's fun to not get hit.

[879] It feels good to take a shot and give one back.

[880] But the consequences are real.

[881] Yeah.

[882] And I see too much of it.

[883] I see, I see this slow.

[884] degrading of your cognitive ability I've seen it in too many people what do you think do you think anything's going to happen with football like yeah you think it's good are they gonna is gonna like I think people are gonna wise up I think fighting is way better for you than football and I think fighting is terrible for you I think football's the worst yeah because they're running at each other full clip and slamming into each other all day it's like driving off a cliff constantly over and over over over again it's fucking nuts.

[885] We have a friend and they have a kid who's in high school who has severe depression from football.

[886] He's all fucked up from football and they can't believe that it happens so fast.

[887] I would go, how long has he been playing for a couple years?

[888] He's been getting smashed in the head for years.

[889] Because it's just like you watch like a football practice.

[890] Those dudes are just like that...

[891] Boom!

[892] And less and less now I think they're finally realizing but like when we were growing up all my buddies played football like every drill was like, all right, stand in a circle and let's have these dudes fucking run into each other full speed over and over.

[893] You know what they're finding out now?

[894] They're getting hit in the body is as bad as getting hit in the head.

[895] Really?

[896] Yeah.

[897] Because when you get slammed in the body, your head snaps back and your brain goes whoosh, woosh inside your fucking skull.

[898] And you think that concussions only come from getting a head injury.

[899] It's not the case.

[900] They're finding that people get concussions from getting hit in the body.

[901] So this is Pure ignorance.

[902] In boxing or whatever, when a guy gets knocked out, that's a concussion, right?

[903] Oh, yeah, most of the time.

[904] Yeah.

[905] Yeah.

[906] And so those guys are just getting...

[907] They're getting concussions all the time.

[908] Yeah.

[909] And they get concussions even when they win sometimes.

[910] Like, there's a guy named Joe Voltalini, who's been on the show before.

[911] He's a world championship kickboxer.

[912] He had to retire after he won the title.

[913] He won the fight.

[914] And then afterwards, his head injury was so severe.

[915] He couldn't look at the light from a charger from a phone you know like a phone charger he had to be in total darkness for months at a time or for weeks at a time rather and uh what saved him was actually CBD oil really yeah CBD oil is pretty good at reducing inflammation it's pretty radical and its effect and that that brought it all down for him I haven't been I haven't tried CBD oil very much great yeah it's really good for pain and stuff like that it's great for pain it's great for anxiety and one of the more important things is it doesn't fuck with you, like, cognitively.

[916] It doesn't make you high.

[917] It's not right.

[918] Right.

[919] So you can do it and just go do stuff, but it alleviates anxiety, it calms you down.

[920] They think that some anxiety may coincide with inflammation.

[921] Oh, that makes sense.

[922] Yeah.

[923] Like physical inflammation that it.

[924] Yeah.

[925] So when you take the oil, you know, drops, when you take oil drops, it's also good for just your overall, your whole system, your gut biome it's good for everything yeah it's i've just been smoking weed forever that's good too that helps i went to uh i went to burning man this year oh and uh did had just a fucking wild time of because i i know you've talked about it i'd never done acid before i did acid for the first time how was it it was fascinating i've done mushrooms like somewhat regularly for most of my adult life.

[926] Like, not crazy amounts, but like, you know, once a year, depending on, you know, and always loved it.

[927] I'm like, I was like, if I were left with one thing, it might be that one.

[928] Because I like the warmth, like, the organic, the giggles, the warmth and, like, everything.

[929] You love everybody.

[930] I love everybody.

[931] And it is, like, what I, you know, when people used to talk about, like, what ecstasy was, I was like, oh, that's mushrooms.

[932] Like, you just feel giggly and warm and connected.

[933] But I was like, you know what?

[934] We're going to, yeah, I'm going to Burning Man. A couple buddies were like, I've done this acid before, and I haven't read the Michael Pollan book, but I was like, enough, there's enough, I don't know you've been talking about.

[935] There's enough around there that I'm like, I'm ready.

[936] Like, because I remember in my late 20, someone being like trying to buy mushrooms and they're like, I got acid.

[937] I was like, I'm not going to do it.

[938] Like I had, you know, at least when we were kids, there was that fear that, like, you do acid, you could fry your brain forever.

[939] Yeah, you never come back.

[940] Right.

[941] And I don't know if that was the kind of acid people were doing or if it just people were doing a ton of it.

[942] They think now that what that is, it's people that are schizophrenic.

[943] Right.

[944] And there's a certain percentage of the population.

[945] Like, they were trying to make a correlation between marijuana use and schizophrenia, that it causes schizophrenia, but they found out that the numbers are the same as the general population.

[946] The numbers of people who use marijuana become schizophrenic is the same numbers as just you take 100 people.

[947] There's going to be one of them that's going to be schizophrenic.

[948] Whatever the number is, whether it's 1 % or higher.

[949] Sure.

[950] and there's they think though that it can exacerbate the situation and it can actually bring it on like say maybe if someone has maybe sort of a manageable because schizophrenia exists like many diseases do on a spectrum sure you know there's really bad cancer and these people have a mild cancer that they get over yeah well with schizophrenics if they do acid or if they do even edible marijuana apparently can bring it on shit man i don't think i'm schizophrenic but if anytime i eat pot i feel like i am I can't eat it I can't I'm just like immediately like The thing is a little You gotta do baby doses That's the key The key with Edible marijuana is great At about 10 to 20 milligrams Yeah Then you get to that Joey Diaz level Where he's doing 500, a thousand He's a big boy He's not to But even he quit He quit edibles Really?

[951] Yeah he quit I can't I just like early on I was like I tried edibles And I just remember I remember being in Austin I don't know if it was South By or whatever and I had like a cookie like a little bit of a it was earlier much earlier than now how regulated things are and I ate a little bit and like went back to my hotel room and I was like I can't even look I was like I can't look at the screen and I just like walk the streets went to the city the capital the state capital and just like looked at the like portraits of the former governors of Texas and then was like we've got like sober -ish and then my buddies were like we're going to a gun range and I was like now all right.

[952] Right.

[953] I went to a gun range and I was like, I was like, I'm not firing a gun, but I'll just like, and I was like, this is, oh, it was like eight hours later and I'm still like a mess.

[954] But I was like, you know what?

[955] I'm going up, Burning Man, I'm going to try acid.

[956] I went with my buddy, it was my college roommate.

[957] Neither us had done it before.

[958] A guy had given it to us who I was like, I've done this acid.

[959] I know how to do it.

[960] He's like, I recommend taking the sum of assassin and listening to classical music and eating fruit.

[961] That was his And I was like All right I was like Listen to classical music And eat fruit Yeah And I was like I like classical music And I like fruit So I was like I was like this sounds great I was like So we're out in the fucking desert And we eat it on our last day And Have you been to Burning Man?

[962] No I thought it was I was kind of blown away I found it I've I enjoyed it very very much It's fucking weird I mean it's like I don't know It was like People executing whatever they're doing incredibly well.

[963] And there's a lot of different versions of it and stuff.

[964] But it's kind of, there's a lot of pranksters there.

[965] Like there's, it's actually not.

[966] It's like there's a hippie -dippy quality to it.

[967] But then there's some real people kind of fucking with people in a fun way that I got a kick out of.

[968] But we took acid at like, I don't know, four.

[969] And we start, we're driving around the desert.

[970] You know, everyone's on bikes.

[971] You're just on a bike driving around.

[972] Did you have to wear a mask?

[973] No, the dust was fine.

[974] It was cool.

[975] and like we start kind of feeling it and I have had visuals on mushrooms before but this all of a sudden like the meltiness of everything started to set in and have you done acid in the desert before?

[976] No, never in the desert.

[977] It's a good place for it.

[978] It's a good place for it just because like visually what's happening is like it's pretty interesting.

[979] Like we went, we were driving around on bikes and we see these like immediately then like some couple is like, can you take a picture of us as we, like, try to do a duo yoga pose with the sunset?

[980] I'm like, okay, I'm trying to deal with my camera.

[981] You know what I mean?

[982] You're like, oh, okay, I think I think this is what you want, you know, and then we drive away from there and there, these, like, porn stars who were to want pictures of that, or taking pictures of themselves, and I was like, we're like, you know, we're in the burning man spirit.

[983] Like, we'll give them the gift of our music.

[984] And like, they don't want, they're not, they don't want, I'm not even hit.

[985] Nothing.

[986] I'm just like, literally like driving around.

[987] We've got our little like, you know, our little Bluetooth speaker playing classical music and they don't give a fuck.

[988] They don't want any of it.

[989] And then we go and sit and we're just now starting to peak right at sunset in the desert.

[990] And it's like, it was, it was like, oh, this feels like some version of what heaven feels like, you know, like where the sky, the colors in the sky are unbelievable.

[991] And the, and the, and the, and the, it was, it was like, it was like, all of a sudden all the desert all the sand you know this it's like this real fine alkaline dust and it's like you feel like you're seeing some real like grid work you know i don't know if you have that feeling where you're like oh i can feel like i'm seeing some underlying dynamics of the structural stuff i've seen that on mushrooms yeah yeah where it feels like you're witness to the pattern of things like there's some sort of yeah the structure of things yeah Yeah, and that's what it felt like you were like, you're looking at this, like this crazy, you know, you've got.

[992] Yeah, so you're seeing the sand, this very fine, light sand with the really red mountains and then the blue, really crisp blue sky with, with the white clouds.

[993] And it felt like you were like, oh, I'm seeing some structural shit that's going on.

[994] It was quite, and we're listening to this guy, Eric Sati, who's like a classical musician, and eating cherries.

[995] And it was pretty fucking sweet.

[996] That's cool that you followed it to a tea.

[997] You went with a fruit and you know with the music.

[998] We were like, why not?

[999] Let's just have it.

[1000] You know, why not?

[1001] And I think classical music is, but it was interesting because I didn't.

[1002] So then the sun sets and it's like what I, even at the height of it, it didn't feel warm like mushrooms have felt.

[1003] It felt like clinical.

[1004] Clinical, exactly.

[1005] That's exactly the word.

[1006] I have a theory about that.

[1007] And it's very interesting that you said you took it riding bikes, too, because that's in a lot of ways an homage to Albert Hoffman.

[1008] That's how he found out about it.

[1009] You know, he synthesized LSD and, you know, got it in his skin when he was working with it and then rode his bike home.

[1010] And on the bike ride home realized, oh, my God, a fucking tripping balls here.

[1011] Without even knowing what tripping was.

[1012] Yeah, I mean, he knew something was going on.

[1013] He made it.

[1014] I mean, he made it.

[1015] I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the initial reason for creating LSD, I think they were trying to come up with a drug to induce labor.

[1016] I'm pretty sure that was the original.

[1017] I think that's what they were working on and in the process synthesized LSD.

[1018] And LSD as a compound, and it's one of those, unbelievably potent compounds where someone, I think it was Terrence McKenna described it as the power to weight ratio is so huge that it's like if you had one ant that dismantled the statue of liberty in 30 minutes.

[1019] Like that's how, that's how potent LSD is.

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] Well, I mean, I took I actually said the Empire State Building.

[1022] Jesus.

[1023] I took a, I mean, I took a, I took a responsible amount like I was like I don't need to like lose my mind here I've only microdosed it yeah I've only well one one time I doubled the mic but still it was a small dose it was enough to just like yeah it is I had planned the synthesis of the compound when the intention of obtaining a circulatory and respiratory stimulant Hoffman wrote the new substance however arose no special interest in our pharmacologists and physicians testing was therefore discontinued huh hmm Why did I think creation of the surgery on his bike?

[1024] 25th attempt, aptly named LSD 25.

[1025] Not knowing, he was not after like a psychedelic drug experience.

[1026] No, I don't believe so.

[1027] Dosed at 4 .20 p .m. y 'all.

[1028] Did he really?

[1029] Look at that.

[1030] Go down a little bit.

[1031] That's hilarious.

[1032] Yeah.

[1033] That is hilarious.

[1034] He dosed himself at 420.

[1035] And it was most intense from 6 to 8 p .m. during that time.

[1036] He rode home on his bicycle.

[1037] Fuck.

[1038] It's the best.

[1039] It feels great.

[1040] Right.

[1041] So we sort of are peaking around sunset, and it feels like I'm with my buddy of 20 years.

[1042] I've known it since college.

[1043] We've gone through our lives together.

[1044] And there's a thing when you trip where you're like that spacetime continuum thing.

[1045] Like it feels less linear time where you're like, I'm having thoughts that I had 20 years ago and I'm having them today and I'm going to have them in 20 years and like where this, the linear nature of all this feels a little less.

[1046] And I'm with my buddy who's been like a witness to my life, you know.

[1047] So we're having this great, large conversation about our lives and all that shit and the sun's setting.

[1048] It's beautiful.

[1049] And then it gets dark and it's like, all right, let's go watch the man burn now.

[1050] Like, you know, at Burning Man, everybody gathers, 70 ,000 people gather.

[1051] You go to this big central area where the man who's been sitting there for seven days is then there's like a crazy fire starter show.

[1052] fireworks go off and then you burn this like 30 foot man and it's dark and it's night and and it's like it was the other side it felt like heaven and hell you know like where you're all the sudden and that's where I felt like it was weird because like that's where I felt the clinical thing where I'm like I feel sort of high but I now feel actually quite in a weird way quite sober and I'm I felt like I'm witnessing these things and I feel removed from them in a way that when you're I feel like when you're on mushrooms in some way you're like you feel kind of inside of the the flow of of nature and but I was also like it's the end by the time of the end of Burning Man like there are people there all week and building it and putting all the stuff together an artist it's interesting and then like there is definitely a section of Burning Man which is just like super wealthy people showing up for like debauchery and like to be around models who are nearly naked.

[1053] And it's like, and that's when, and you look around and the aesthetic of Burning Man is like somewhere between like Mad Max Game of Thrones and Tron.

[1054] Like it's somewhere in that space, which is fucking rad.

[1055] But then when you're kind of on acid and you're kind of looking around and I had this feeling of like, ugh, the rich are here to collect their spoils.

[1056] You know what I mean?

[1057] Like these...

[1058] Do you think that having the great experience of seeing the sky and the desert and all the beauty and where you're like, wow, this is amazing?

[1059] And then when you have something like a fire and then on top of that, you have a giant group of people, it seemed...

[1060] And then you realize, there's not really a lot of law enforcement here.

[1061] Like, this seems like it could be completely chaotic.

[1062] Yeah.

[1063] And it is.

[1064] Like, the fire itself is protected because I think someone ran into the fire last year.

[1065] It died, right?

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] Fucking killed himself.

[1068] ran right into that fire.

[1069] This year was like, this year was pretty well regulated, like, because we had seen a couple nights before at sunrise.

[1070] There was like, you know, they have all this.

[1071] What I found to it was like the kind of the duality of a doll.

[1072] Like, Burning Man feels very much like there's this like sacred and profane shit all happening together, and it's oftentimes pretty cool.

[1073] And like sunrise a couple mornings earlier, there's this like 20 -foot wooden dragonfly statue that someone, had built and they are they lighted on fire you know they're just like now we're gonna burn it like some dude it's been a year making this statue and it's like now we're gonna fucking burn it and so there there were park rangers all around it and so there's no getting inside they light it on fire and then the sun rises over to the left and then you looked up i looked up and there were like 30 people parachuting out of the sky at sunrise and you're just like what the fuck is going on but it was it was really cool i really I enjoyed that.

[1074] But by the time Saturday rolled around, you know, there is something about fire that's very primal.

[1075] And you can feel like there's like there's some pagan quality to it all.

[1076] And it's cool, but it's like you could feel like everybody's like energy kind of getting like a little darker and more primal.

[1077] And I hit a point where I was like, all right, guys, I got to get out of this like 70.

[1078] And I also had a fear of like, I wasn't scared of the fire.

[1079] I was scared of, like, I was seated watching, and I was like, I'm scared of a trampling.

[1080] Yeah, that's what I mean by, like, the giant group of people.

[1081] And then also with a fire and then a gathering, when you're dealing with a big gathering, there's always the potential for someone acting out, whether they just need a lot of attention or they go crazy or, I mean, think about adverse reactions to psychedelics.

[1082] Yes.

[1083] And 70 ,000 people, the potential for something going haywire is pretty high.

[1084] Yeah.

[1085] What I found interesting over the whole week was because I was pretty skeptical.

[1086] I didn't go in.

[1087] I went in being like, I want to experience this thing that a lot of people have experienced.

[1088] I just want to like know what that experience is.

[1089] But what I've found fascinating is there's some law enforcement around.

[1090] There's some rangers around.

[1091] But there's really no, it's pretty anarchical.

[1092] Like there's really very little.

[1093] But in as in so much there's actually like some.

[1094] unspoken rules that basically everybody's kind of following, which I found kind of fascinating where you're like, there's no everybody's on bikes, there are crazy art cars running around with like fucking shooting fire into the air.

[1095] There's no, there seems to be no like regulatory board being like, let me make sure that the your crazy 30 foot, three -tiered iron car is up to standard.

[1096] Yeah.

[1097] There seems to be very little of that.

[1098] And yet, it all seems to function pretty smoothly.

[1099] Like there's like some unspoken acceptance of certain rules.

[1100] I'm sure there are people freaking out.

[1101] I know there are people like, but it's mostly people like being like, I took too much drugs and I didn't hydrate.

[1102] And like they go to the medic and there.

[1103] But like weirdly I found it all operating pretty smoothly.

[1104] But that's when the acid then sort of turned a bit where I was like, this is, there's some darkness here.

[1105] I want to get away from.

[1106] Well, it's, it seems like whenever you have a situation where you get a bunch of people that want to do something outside the norm, they want to get together, and they want to experience something that's just, they're bored of society, and this is their big break, and it seems like there's, there's so much expectations, and there's kind of a code that these people want to follow, and that code is that, you know, it's almost like a utopian vision of a better society, even if it's for only a week or so.

[1107] Yeah.

[1108] And I think it works for a week.

[1109] Like, I don't know if society, I don't know how a society would function and, like, largely lawless.

[1110] I mean, the biggest rules are like, don't put your trash anywhere.

[1111] Like, there's no garbage cans anywhere.

[1112] Don't pee outside.

[1113] Like, pee in a porta potty, pee in a jug, take it back, dump it out.

[1114] Because it's like, no mark, no, leave no mark.

[1115] And it works.

[1116] But I guess it works for a week where you're like, everybody's agreed for that.

[1117] week and then you go back to your life but like I don't know I got a fucking kick out of it like there's and there's you know there's like we there's one night you know there are all these crazy light shows at night it it becomes like this crazy tron like light show everywhere you look the horizon for as far as you can see is just like people on bikes that are all lit up crazy art cars crazy pieces of art that are lit up um and it's really wild but like you go, you know, you ride around bikes and there, all of a sudden we, like, roll up to this area where there's a, like, a mechanical arm holding these lights that are, um, LED lights that are in this, you know, in a circle and you lie below it.

[1118] And it's like a light show, you know, but it's this like vortex light show.

[1119] So everybody's kind of looking up at it and it's really trippy and fun.

[1120] And everyone's like, whoa, it's so trippy.

[1121] And I, we, I laid down.

[1122] I was like, this is red.

[1123] And then this dude rolls up.

[1124] My friend sees this, you know, those costumes of, like, like, those, like, Tyrannosaurus Rex, like, that they're inflated and they kind of are, like, you know, you see, like, dudes, like, walking around.

[1125] They're, like, individual -sized things, but they're like, it's super weird.

[1126] So, I look at this guy, and I start cracking up.

[1127] And my buddy just took that Tyrannosaurus Rex and walked him through the middle of everybody having their quiet, trippy moment, you know?

[1128] So, like, this Tyrannosaurus Rex just kind of rolls through it, and everybody's just like, hey, you know?

[1129] And he's just like, he was here before you, you know?

[1130] And it's like, so it's kind of fun.

[1131] It's just like everybody's like having their trippy moment and then it gets fucked up.

[1132] And then a minute later, they're back to their trippy moment.

[1133] You know, I got a real, I got a fucking kick out of it.

[1134] It was weird.

[1135] Yeah, I don't know if that would work long term either because you'd have to have resources, right?

[1136] You'd have to have food and water and land.

[1137] And then who controls the food, water, and land.

[1138] I think one of the things, the reason why it works so well is because it's, outside of culture, or it's outside of civilization.

[1139] You go to a place and everybody meets there.

[1140] Yes.

[1141] Nobody has an established, like, dominance or domain over it at all.

[1142] You just are entering on the same page.

[1143] We've been talking about this a lot lately.

[1144] Like, cults never work.

[1145] Like, there's not a single, like, one of these wild, wild country things or, you know, Waco or the guys in the, what was the one in San Diego where they cut their balls off.

[1146] Heaven's Gate.

[1147] Yeah, Heaven Gate.

[1148] They never work.

[1149] They never work.

[1150] No one has nailed it.

[1151] Like, how come no one can, but Burning Man's kind of nailed it.

[1152] But the way they nailed it is, they just do it for a little bit, and then they go back to life.

[1153] Yeah, and it's, I guess the guy who founded it or is one of the, passed away this past year.

[1154] So they think he was in the middle of the burn this year.

[1155] And, but even he, it's not a cult of personality.

[1156] Like, I think that's the thing, you know, if you decentralize that and at the center of it is like, is this fucking man burning.

[1157] is like, I think if you take that element away, I think the problem with cults is there are, I mean, is there any cult that isn't like driven by one central force?

[1158] It's always a person.

[1159] It's always a person and it always gets fucked up because that person uses it and it's all run through them and then if he or she goes away, then it's the next round of that person.

[1160] Well, it's always playing off of this weird alpha chimpanzee instinct that we have to have like a big daddy, the daddy that has all the messages and is in touch with God or the UFO behind the asteroid or whatever the fuck it is, there's always this one person, whether it's Jim Jones or, you know, fill in the blank.

[1161] Yeah.

[1162] There's someone who has all the answers.

[1163] And there's a weird desire that people have to look to this one person that has all the answers.

[1164] Yes.

[1165] It's very, it's a tribal thing.

[1166] It's a tribal thing.

[1167] And it's specifically if you're someone who gets into a cult, you are searching for something.

[1168] You're searching for some solidity or something.

[1169] And if you've got that person at the middle is like, I got you.

[1170] Don't worry.

[1171] I'll give you the way it all fucking works.

[1172] People are like, oh, thank God.

[1173] Yeah.

[1174] You know?

[1175] But I was thinking about like Scientology and being like, well, shit, man. Tom Cruise, like, if you can learn to fly a helicopter in like four months, like maybe it's not so bad.

[1176] Bill Burke can fly a helicopter.

[1177] I know.

[1178] He didn't use Scientology.

[1179] He used a helicopter instructor.

[1180] Yeah.

[1181] But it took him probably a couple years.

[1182] I don't think it took him that long.

[1183] But Bill Burr did fucking...

[1184] Bill Burr is a dude who likes to, like, figure stuff out.

[1185] Yeah, he's a really good drummer.

[1186] Have you ever seen him drum?

[1187] I mean, no, I think I've seen, like, a YouTube of it, but I'm...

[1188] It's fucking really good.

[1189] Like, he could be in a band.

[1190] Yeah.

[1191] But in his cars, like, he is...

[1192] He is building that truck.

[1193] Yeah.

[1194] Yeah, that old 68 Ford pickup truck, I think it is?

[1195] Yeah.

[1196] Yeah, that thing's cool.

[1197] That's got, um, that's a manual transmission on the column.

[1198] it's one of those weird old school ones where you shift the gears like next to the steering wheel right that's how they used to do it yeah but i think they called it three on the tree oh yeah and he fucking loves that i mean that's a brain that likes that stuff yeah and likes like wants to learn to master flying a helicopter there's a couple there's a couple of improvisers i know too like who were like uh i think thomas middletitch learned to fly plane my buddy neil casey i'm like that stuff is a real i'm like hobbyists yeah In that way.

[1199] I'm just like, I don't care.

[1200] You don't have any hobbies?

[1201] I like hiking.

[1202] That's a good hobby.

[1203] And I like...

[1204] That's a good exercise.

[1205] Yeah.

[1206] My brain wants it.

[1207] My brain wants that and I do yoga now.

[1208] Do you do the hot yoga or regular yoga?

[1209] Regular yoga.

[1210] Do you do high yoga?

[1211] Yeah, I like hot yoga.

[1212] Just get that fucking sweat.

[1213] Yeah, there's a study that they just did on it, or they're in the process of doing it right now at Harvard, where they're trying to find out whether you can get similar results to sauna that you get from hot yoga because they think it's a similar situation that's happening with what's called cytokines or heat shock proteins.

[1214] And what they showed in these sauna studies is that 20 minutes a day, four times a week, decreased all -cause mortality by 40%.

[1215] All -cause mortality meaning heart attack, stroke, cancer.

[1216] from just sweating it out yeah well your body reacts to that extreme heat when it's i believe the number what did rana say was it 180 i think she said 180 180 degrees yeah 170 180 something like that something like that 170 or 180 and you do that for 20 minutes four times a week and it's there's a radical decreasing of you're just your overall systemic inflammation because of that and that's getting it that hot makes you less inflamed because it's like all right we got it out of our system there well your body reacts to it your body reacts to that heat and it produces these heat shock proteins and these heat shock proteins apparently are just fantastic at decreasing inflammation all throughout your body i got to figure that i'm because it's all based for me it's like turning red yeah do i have one here i fucking love it i use it all the time almost every day you just sweat it out go in there crank that bitch up and I found that AirPods you can put AirPods in and they don't overheat your phone will overheat.

[1217] Yes.

[1218] You can't have your phone in there, it'll shut off.

[1219] Yeah.

[1220] But you can have your phone outside the song and have the AirPods on and you can just listen to a podcast or listen to a book on tape.

[1221] What do you listen to you know?

[1222] Yeah, usually podcasts.

[1223] Yeah.

[1224] Yours?

[1225] Do you listen to your podcast?

[1226] No, I'll listen to mine if it sucked or if it's something that I need to like Rhonda Patrick, like when she's spouting out science and I have to hear it over and over again to get it in my stupid brain or if I like that podcast sucked and I need to listen to it to find out like where it went off the rails because that's yeah isn't that the bummer of being a trying to be a good at what you do is being like paying more attention in the shit that doesn't work you have to like bad sets bad comedy sets I always listen to those I fucking hate them I don't even like listen to the good ones but the bad ones are ruthlessly painful.

[1227] Fuck.

[1228] You got to listen.

[1229] I got to listen to the good ones because I'm like, what did I, it's like, not like what was so special about me, but being like, oh, I improvised this, this, and this.

[1230] Oh, that's big too, yeah.

[1231] But the problem is, like, part of the joy, the reason it was fun is because it felt fresh.

[1232] And then you try to recreate it and it just doesn't have the same fucking juice.

[1233] It's possible to recreate some things.

[1234] Yes.

[1235] Some things, they were in the moment.

[1236] The audience, there's a thing that the audience knows, too.

[1237] Like, if you have, have you ever seen a guy who's faking, improvising?

[1238] It's the saddest thing ever.

[1239] When you see someone work the crowd and then you go, this guy's brilliant.

[1240] And then you see him the next night.

[1241] He does the same shit.

[1242] Yeah.

[1243] And you go, oh, it's a trick.

[1244] Yeah.

[1245] Well, you can, there's a moment that happens when you're improvising with an audience where someone says something.

[1246] and you just have the perfect response out of nowhere.

[1247] They know that you just came up with it out of nowhere, and it just works.

[1248] But there's also lines that you add to a bit that just came up out of nowhere, and maybe they just crushed that night, but they're still viable.

[1249] There's something to it.

[1250] You start to figure out how to recreate it.

[1251] Yes, but it's that feeling also of not wanting to be a – how do you build material on stage, keep it, have it feel fresh without feeling like a fraud, like a parlor magician, which I think is the, which is sort of like the tricky, the tricky thing to do.

[1252] You got to be less self -aware and you got to be more involved, like, for me at least, I have to like be more connected to the idea that I'm saying.

[1253] Like I have to recreate my own personal wonderment that's involved in the idea.

[1254] Because they can smell it if you're not.

[1255] Yeah.

[1256] Like you have to like, you have to really be in the moment.

[1257] Like if you're doing a bit about bottled water you have to be thinking about bottled water like you have to be like what in the fuck it and then it has to be real it has to be but if you're not thinking about it and you're just saying the words they fucking smell it yeah they're little smelly animals they fucking know it yeah even when they're psych to see and they like you it's still they're still like yeah it's that weird thing yeah you're not in it yeah but you got to be warm are you back out you're I mean I've seen you doing spots you're back out building a new yeah I'm at like 25, 30 minutes ish right now.

[1258] I just can't seem to...

[1259] It's a grind.

[1260] It's a grind, man. And I just like, I don't know how, like, I'm like, I do my show.

[1261] We do, you know, we write Big Mouth.

[1262] It takes us like, you know, five, six months to write and voice it.

[1263] And then, and when I'm writing all day, it's tough to go out and do spots at night.

[1264] What was it like to break it up to do your Broadway gig for a while?

[1265] Yeah.

[1266] It was great.

[1267] I mean, that was the most fun.

[1268] That was like, me and Malaney do.

[1269] We did it off Broadway for like 25 days, something like that, and then toured it a little bit, five days in Boston, five days in D .C., L .A., New York, whatever.

[1270] Not New York.

[1271] And then we went back and did the Broadway show.

[1272] We did 140 shows, like 138 shows every night, you know, five show weekends.

[1273] And that was the most fun.

[1274] That was the most fun because you're on stage with your buddy.

[1275] so you got someone even on the nights is not working you know when you're doing a show and you're like I know they like me but this is not fun they're tired whatever and you got but you're up there alone all of a sudden you got someone else up there who you can make eye contact with me like fuck these fucking you know let's fuck them a little bit you know what I mean like without saying a word we both know we're like let's fuck with him tonight and because we wrote it we could improvise change whatever we wanted every night it was like having a stand -up set that you could improvise with your buddy in character that was you knew every beat you had to hit but you had a lot of freedom within it it was it was the most fun so it's like stand -up but not yeah like it was largely we built it to be presentational so we could talk to the audience at any point because there's something about doing like a play or even when i was early on doing sketch it's embarrassing you know what i mean you're like I guess we're going to pretend like we're in a fucking Chinese restaurant right now, but you're in the audience.

[1276] We're all in the same room right now.

[1277] Yeah.

[1278] It's like it sucks to not be able to do a joke and not have a work and not be able to talk to the audience about it.

[1279] Yeah.

[1280] Or be angry at the audience directly or whatever it is.

[1281] So we could do that.

[1282] So we're presentational like you're doing stand -up, but we've written this play that has real scenes in it.

[1283] And then we built in an interview in the middle where we would interview different people, like on the Netflix special, it's Steve Martin.

[1284] and we also had Michael J. Fox was on the special as well but every night it was someone different and it was anyone from you know we got Letterman to do it but we also had like Robin Bird remember Robin Bird just the channel J cable access porn stripper interview show in New York in like the 80s and 90s there's no reason you would know it except if like you were 13 and going to sleep at your friend's house in the city and jerking off the fucking striber is getting interviewed like I was I kind of remember the name.

[1285] Yeah.

[1286] I kind of remember that scene.

[1287] If you Google Robin Bird, you'll see some old, there she is.

[1288] You know, it was like, you can see just the quality of that kind of like cable access 80s, New York shit.

[1289] We had her on the show because we felt like our boys would be interacting with Robin Bird, you know.

[1290] So we'd have her, and then we had like, you know, crazy.

[1291] So every night we got to interview someone different.

[1292] It's like a mini live podcast in the middle of the show.

[1293] show.

[1294] So we just built the most fun show for us to do every night.

[1295] It was great.

[1296] It was the most fun.

[1297] And then we finished that and then came back and I did that.

[1298] We wrote that, we did that in between season one and season two of Big Mouth because it takes so long to write it and to animate it and all that stuff.

[1299] So that was so we wrote in voice most of Big Mouth season two before you know last year.

[1300] It just takes forever So in the time that you did it Did you do stand up at all while you were doing it or just did it While we were doing oh hello There was no stand up at all We're doing big mouth we I'd go out and do like a couple spots You know here and there like that's exhausting right time wise Yeah it's just like nine hours ten hours And you're just pitching jokes all day long And it's like you know for me I do a bunch of the voices on the show So I'm pitching for myself I'm pitching for my you know all the other characters And you're just at any given moment you're watching you're writing you're breaking an episode you're rewriting another episode you're giving notes on a radio play of just the audio you're giving notes on the animatic screening that's coming black you know which is like the black and white kind of rough draft and you're giving notes on a color screening that's come back from korea from like six months ago so you're kind of at any given moment you're rewrite especially when you're in the middle of the season you're just you're just kind of you're just yeah you're just given your you're rewrite it's a beauty of animation too that you just keep getting to fucking you know figure stuff out when something's not working you're just keep you know it's the it's good for that kind of perfectionist polisher of like what you're talking about where you're like you're like what's not working you keep getting to figure out what's not working you know versus like live action where you're like I hope I got it you know it's got to be that's incredibly time consuming and it must be exhausting it yeah it kind of is it kind of is It's at the end of the day, you're like, am I going to go out and do a spot now?

[1301] Yeah.

[1302] I don't know.

[1303] I think there's a balance, right?

[1304] Like, you can't burn yourself out too much because then you won't have the jokes for the next day.

[1305] Right?

[1306] You'll be too fried.

[1307] You got to pace yourself.

[1308] I mean, everybody works differently.

[1309] Our pacing is pretty good that, like, you're, you, yeah.

[1310] I mean, there are certain times where I'm like, ooh, I feel cooked.

[1311] But it's like anything else where you're like, you train your brain in that space where you're like the first two weeks you come home, your brain is exhausted.

[1312] the end of the night and then two weeks in you're like oh okay I got my endurance back up like I can do that I can do that nine hour day did you what did you do to keep your energy level during the day did you take any neutropics or do anything no I would actually be curious because I get I get hammered at like 2 30 p .m. I want a nap yeah and I can't and I'm but I'm like I'm not thinking or acting like you are so I'm like coffee in the morning and then I'm you and then I crash and I eat sugar and then I fucking crash and like I don't know what I'm supposed to be I'll take any advice you got I would say that the sugar part is the biggest thing you should get rid of yeah yeah that's the thing that makes you crash the hardest because you're eating donuts and shit they taste delicious but your body has a really hard time processing that shit and afterwards you just boom like the other day I was in Vegas and because it was on a Sunday I was like ah fuck it man I'll just have some pan pancakes or something like that.

[1313] So I had crepes and I had this yogurt with all this, it was like, you know, flavored vanilla yogurt with fruit in it and shit.

[1314] And I had, oh, and I had two cupcakes or two, two donuts because they had homemade donuts at the hotel.

[1315] Like, all right, I'll get a couple of dollars.

[1316] I felt like dog shit for the next six hours.

[1317] I was just like, oh, I felt like I had been drugged.

[1318] Like I was exhausted.

[1319] Well, your body's probably truly not.

[1320] used to, like, I've trained my body.

[1321] Yeah, you train your body.

[1322] Yeah, but I think there's a certain amount of a cut, you get accustomed to that terrible feeling, and it's just the normal feeling that you have after you eat.

[1323] But even after like, even let's say I have like a greens and protein lunch, like, where I'm like, fuck it, I'm having a salve with chicken or something like that.

[1324] Still, I just hit that, like, my body wants 15 minutes to close its eyes at like 2 .30 p .m. Whatever is happening.

[1325] You just lay in the couch in your office for a little bit.

[1326] Yeah.

[1327] I need to schedule.

[1328] I need to schedule.

[1329] better into the day to be like hey guys i'm walking away right now for because that's all it needs is like 15 minutes but are like what do you what is it is it a what is it a there's a bunch of different companies that make them uh what they are is essentially the building blocks for human neurotransmitters um there's uh is it gummies like what is it powder most of the time either you take them in capsule form or you uh you drink it there's a good company that uh that makes one called neuro one.

[1330] I really like that one because it's got caffeine in it too.

[1331] And then there's another one called True Brain.

[1332] That's a good one.

[1333] My company makes one called AlphaBrain.

[1334] That's my favorite one, not just because it's my company.

[1335] But I think we did the best job of putting ingredients in the work synergistically.

[1336] But I take Neuro1 a lot.

[1337] I like that one a lot.

[1338] How do you take it?

[1339] I take it in a shake.

[1340] I just mix it with water.

[1341] In the morning?

[1342] Like, or just whenever you need it.

[1343] Whenever.

[1344] I'll take it before a workout.

[1345] I'll take it before a podcast.

[1346] I take alpha brain before every UFC.

[1347] Yeah.

[1348] What it is is it helps here.

[1349] It's been clinically proven through two double -blind placebo -controlled studies at Boston Center for Memory, that it increases verbal memory, like your ability to find the right word for a sentence, increases your reaction time.

[1350] And I'm sure when you're doing the UFC shit, you just have to be ready to, there's just no delay.

[1351] It's live, and I'm recounting thousands of fights.

[1352] Like, if you hear me talk, I don't use notes, really.

[1353] I mean, I have some notes in front of me that, like, I'll get a guy's record, 0, especially guys that I haven't seen fight too many times.

[1354] There's a few things that I'd like to just have on hand.

[1355] But the rest of it, it's like all.

[1356] Most of it's all the back of my head.

[1357] So I'm recounting a thousand plus fights that I've seen.

[1358] Has your memory always been like that?

[1359] For fights.

[1360] For fights.

[1361] For fights.

[1362] For fights.

[1363] For fights in certain things.

[1364] for certain things but like my wife will tell me something and like an hour later I'm like what you never told me that and she's like I just fucking told you that well I was yeah I was having a conversation with a friend recently and was like and it was like well I remember that your friend is Brazilian but I have no idea where I was in April do you know what I mean yeah yeah it's like I don't know what that is yeah I don't know if my memory was bad like I also with the show luckily my partners are great detail oriented like I I'm like improvising in the room writing blah blah blah and I like I don't I don't want to type anything I just want to like blah blah verbal it's just all verbal yeah and then I'll like watch a cut of the show and I'll have almost no memory of what I've said and I'm like oh that was funny but I'll have no memory of where it came from where it came up with it yeah nothing and then I'll watch it and be like okay great we'll figure that but like it just seems to be the way and I don't know if that's what I've done to my brain or that's just the way it is.

[1365] I think funny people a lot of times they think in sort of that abstract way and that usually doesn't lend itself to the best memory.

[1366] It's sort of a wild, loose, impulsive abstract quality that, in my opinion, my friends, the funniest friends that I have sort of have that thing going on.

[1367] Do you write your jokes ahead of time?

[1368] Do you write your jokes ahead of time?

[1369] I do now.

[1370] I've been doing that over the last maybe four or five years.

[1371] I've changed what I do.

[1372] What I used to do is I would have things that I wrote down on notebooks, and I would write a little bit on a computer.

[1373] But maybe four or five years ago, I became very diligent with my writing.

[1374] Yeah.

[1375] And so I write out, I'll write and rewrite and do it all over again, start it from scratch.

[1376] Really?

[1377] And then go.

[1378] Yeah.

[1379] Sorry, go ahead.

[1380] And then I put it into a thing called Scribner.

[1381] So Scribner, you ever use that?

[1382] I mean, I know it is, but I haven't used it.

[1383] I use that so I could switch, there's a left -hand side where it's all the column is all the different subjects, and then I can move them around.

[1384] I can put this one first, that one second, and then when I click on each one, that it takes me to all of the shit that I've written on that particular subject.

[1385] I've just found that makes a big difference in my output, the quality material, like how much stuff that's good, taglines, I never forget the taglines anymore.

[1386] Because are you visually seeing, when you're on stage, are you, like, visually seeing the tagline in your head?

[1387] Yeah, what I do with on stage, the thing that I do before I go on stage, like that day, usually within a couple hours of performing, I write things out in a notebook.

[1388] If you look at my notebook, it's like, all work, no play makes Jack a dull boy.

[1389] I say I write the same thing over and over again, like 30, 40 pages, because it's just a memory book, really.

[1390] I should call it a memory book rather than a notebook.

[1391] because it's very little of it is actual writing.

[1392] Most of it is just like, I just want to make sure that I write down all the beats to whatever bit.

[1393] Yes.

[1394] Yes.

[1395] I've never found an organizational method that I like and can stick to in that way.

[1396] Like my shit is like, there's like my little notebooks that are like, you know, my little, that you carry up and I put on stage with a set list.

[1397] And then I've got like ideas on my phone.

[1398] And then I've got another bigger notebook with some more writing in it.

[1399] And then I got shit on a computer.

[1400] But none of it's centralized.

[1401] none of it's like, and I'm like, but I, because I also think if, like, if I sit down and write a joke, I'd then deliver it that night, it doesn't ever feel like how, I don't know, I don't.

[1402] It just takes work.

[1403] If you just try to write it out the way you're going to say it on stage, it will come off clunky, but eventually you'll get it.

[1404] Yeah.

[1405] But the difference to me is if I just write in my head and then go on stage and I have a good premise and I work it out and it turns into a bit, and as long as I do it a lot, I memorize it.

[1406] that usually does work but it's better if I write it out and do that it's better if I do both things I still give myself a lot of room on stage to fuck around yeah and I will like just take a premise and run with it on stage but if I have a bit now I don't allow myself to not sit in front of the screen and just write yeah write that bit like there if there's a bit on like I said bottle water.

[1407] If there's a bit on bottle raw, I will write that bit out and I will write it again and I'll write it again and I'll just open up Microsoft Word and start from scratch.

[1408] I'll say, okay, let's just start that bit over again.

[1409] Let's see, maybe if I just did it today, would I do it differently?

[1410] And you've got to leave that time to do that writing.

[1411] You have to.

[1412] I really feel like there's a lot of people that say, oh, I write on stage.

[1413] Okay, I write on stage too.

[1414] But I feel like if I write on stage and I write in a computer, it's better.

[1415] Yeah.

[1416] I feel like my writing's better.

[1417] My bits are, they have more depth to them.

[1418] Well, you're taking the time to actually think about it and then leaving yourself that room.

[1419] That's what it is.

[1420] It's the time.

[1421] It's the time and the focus, the amount of time thinking about it.

[1422] That's what I can't, that's what I'm like, especially when I'm on the show, I'm just like, that time is not there.

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] But I got to, but I'm like, you've got to decide.

[1425] I feel like it's just like, whatever you're doing, are you going to fucking jump in and do it or not?

[1426] Right.

[1427] Yeah.

[1428] Whatever it is.

[1429] Well, that's one of the reasons I like podcasts so much, because I'm fucking lazy, and you don't have to do anything.

[1430] You just show up and start talking.

[1431] Yeah.

[1432] Like, you and I just talked.

[1433] I mean, we've already been talking for fucking two hours.

[1434] You just start talking.

[1435] Yeah.

[1436] That's it.

[1437] But it's interesting, like, people are happy to have that digested in this format right now.

[1438] Yeah.

[1439] But do you think you could get away with this on stage?

[1440] No. Yeah.

[1441] I mean, you could do a podcast on stage if they knew they were coming to see a live podcast.

[1442] They would enjoy it.

[1443] Right.

[1444] And people do enjoy it.

[1445] But it becomes a, have you done live podcast?

[1446] Weird, right?

[1447] It's weird, especially if it's like kind of just a chat, you know what I mean?

[1448] Like if it's like, yeah.

[1449] I feel like I'm ripping these people off.

[1450] I agree.

[1451] I agree.

[1452] Unless there's like a specific, like weird, like I've done my buddies podcast like, uh, Manzukas, Paul Sheer and June, Raphael have a podcast like, how did this get made?

[1453] Where they talk about shitty movies.

[1454] And then they like, they, oh, that's cool.

[1455] And then, and then you do that live and the audience has been told what the movie is.

[1456] And then we get up there and we.

[1457] fuck around and that feels like everybody there's a but there is like a pro it's not just a pure fuck around right there's a structure there's a structure to it yeah that I feel like a live audience loves and deserves like they're psyched about it they also know what they're getting in that case but I agree just like us shooting the shit on stage it's like people paid real money they want to see something that feels more yeah you and I were having this conversation there's 2 ,000 people to our right it would be very fucking strange I'd feel like sorry folks Well, but it is weird.

[1458] Like, we're on, we're, we're, we're being, this is on YouTube right now.

[1459] What's up, y 'all?

[1460] Hi.

[1461] Hey, guys.

[1462] Hi, everybody.

[1463] Hey.

[1464] Hey.

[1465] There's way more than 2000.

[1466] But this, um, the, the thing about being in the presence of those people is what makes it odd.

[1467] Yes.

[1468] I agree.

[1469] Well, that's the same, it's weirdly kind of what I'm saying about when we're doing, oh, hello, which is like, we're not going to acknowledge these fucking people out there.

[1470] Right, right.

[1471] You know what I mean?

[1472] Let's, let them know what we're doing here.

[1473] That's the cool thing.

[1474] about that that you guys wrote it yourself and you don't have to adhere to you know there's not a producer that wants you to stick to this ancient script.

[1475] Yeah, there's not some like assistant director coming and be like hi, Matthias thinks that you guys should be, you notice that you changed this word like that was what always drove me crazy was like on set where you're like I know especially now where I'm like when they wouldn't let you change a word and I'm like I get it you wrote a great joke absolutely but I also know I've been in a writer's room.

[1476] I know that we wrote that joke three months ago, fucking ready for lunch.

[1477] Like, this isn't some, this isn't Mozart.

[1478] Like, we didn't write some perfect song that requires, like, you know, like, I respect your process, but also respect that you wrote this three months ago.

[1479] Yeah.

[1480] And we were not in a room and you were not with this, like, we are now in this particular situation on this day.

[1481] So, let's also realize that that, and I accept that when I write for other people, that like, whatever I was trying to do in that room.

[1482] Let's try to get that.

[1483] But let's also acknowledge where we are in this new moment, you know?

[1484] Yeah, that was one of the more amazing things about working with Paul Sims on news radio is that he allowed you to rewrite entire scenes.

[1485] Really?

[1486] Yeah, Dave Foley was really like a secret producer of that show because Dave Foley is such a brilliant writer.

[1487] What he would do is like there would be a scene that wouldn't work and he would sit back and he'd be like, okay, why doesn't, how about if Vicky comes in and she introduces this and then more comes in like here and then he will, he will have like a totally different thing and he'll say to Paul like, I, we have a new thing for you.

[1488] Tell us what you think.

[1489] And Paul will go, love it.

[1490] Keep it.

[1491] Yeah.

[1492] And that you guys, that was in rehearsals leading up to it.

[1493] But I think that that's like, to me, the best creators and are, I mean, I think there are some like autort geniuses.

[1494] But I think in general, the best people are the ones who are ego is enough in check that they can be like, I've brought you in to collaborate with me. Let's hear what you have to say, because it might be better, and it'll make me equally look good.

[1495] Nobody knows.

[1496] Nobody knows that, like, it's going to still say, like, Paul Sims created the show.

[1497] Nobody's going to know that Foley did a interesting, like, rewrite on a rehearsal.

[1498] Well, I think Paul would even tell you.

[1499] But the thing about it was that when you write something out, just like we were talking about before, if you write jokes, they don't come to live unless there's people there.

[1500] They come to life when you're actually performing them.

[1501] Like, a joke just doesn't exist in a vacuum.

[1502] They, they really, you really need an audience.

[1503] And the thing about run, and there's a similar process involved in a sitcom in that as you're running through it, then it comes to life.

[1504] And then you realize the clunky parts.

[1505] Yes.

[1506] Or you realize a better way to get to it Or you realize well this is the joke The joke is that he doesn't know this And that this has happened to him So why don't we have it this way?

[1507] And you're like, ah Yeah Yeah, I mean that's how we We do the show You know we have a fucking killer writer's room We will break stories together Someone goes off and writes the script Comes back And then we'll rewrite the whole script in the room And I don't know if other rooms I don't know how other rooms work But like we'll read the We'll read every scene together in the room just to hear it out loud and then rewrite it based on like what we all just laughed at or didn't laugh at and so by the time we're actually getting the table read where we're hearing it again out loud even before we get there we've read it all out loud and put it on its feet five times before it's even getting heard in that room you know it's the grossest thing of all time the fake laugh at the table read the fake writer's laugh yeah yeah Yeah.

[1508] Oh.

[1509] As you're performing it, you feel like a dirty whore.

[1510] I know.

[1511] And you hear their fake laugh.

[1512] I know, because they're just like trying to sell their joke.

[1513] They sell it to the network.

[1514] And the network's all skeptical hippo face.

[1515] Like, hmm, I don't know.

[1516] This fucking piece of shit you guys are selling.

[1517] You caught the tail end of the fucking sweet spot.

[1518] Yeah, the tail end of the sitcom era.

[1519] Yeah.

[1520] You really got, you guys, I mean, it was a great show.

[1521] It's amazing that there's really no sitcoms anymore.

[1522] I mean, there's the fucking science one.

[1523] What is that?

[1524] Big Bank theory.

[1525] Still one last year.

[1526] That's amazing.

[1527] It's crazy.

[1528] That was the first show that I was going to test for.

[1529] Like, that was the first, like, thing that they were like, we want to fly to L .A. to test for this.

[1530] And I was like, I don't think I won't.

[1531] They weren't offering much money.

[1532] They weren't offering a ton of money.

[1533] So I was like, even then.

[1534] And by the way, that show's not bad.

[1535] And those guys will never have to work again.

[1536] Ever.

[1537] But I just like.

[1538] I don't want to be locked into any I want to fucking do I want to do new stuff I want to fuck around Yeah I just might You were stuck on that Yeah And again those guys God bless them Yeah How long did you guys do news How was it Five years?

[1539] Five years But it was never a success It wasn't No no It bombed every year My friend Lou Martin Was one of the writers He used to You know Lou He used to wear a t -shirt Every Monday Of what our ratings were And he showed up on the set one day And it said like 88 And I went No fucking way Is that really?

[1540] He goes, yep, we're number 88.

[1541] I'm like, oh, my God.

[1542] But by the way, whatever that number was then would now be a fucking monster hit.

[1543] Oh, the numbers that we would get in terms of viewers would be huge, a huge hit.

[1544] Yeah.

[1545] In comparison.

[1546] Now it would be dead in the wall.

[1547] And now it would be a huge hit and they'd be psych.

[1548] But then it's like...

[1549] But there was the sweet spot then, which was like between friends and Seinfeld.

[1550] That was the sweet spot.

[1551] And if you could get into that, oh, sweet baby, Jesus.

[1552] You were fucking...

[1553] You've made it, baby.

[1554] There was the Caroline in the city Single guy's spot Suddenly Susan Yeah they kept trying to find There's these shit What Paul Sims would call these shit sandwiches We have these really good shows These slabs of shit in between them They were fucking terrible terrible shows And they went on for a long time And they were big hits But even in syndication They're dead Like nobody wants to watch them Maybe I'm trying to think If I watch news radio and syndication That's how I watched it It became a hit after the fact That was the crazy The craziest thing about the show, the show became popular after it was canceled.

[1555] Oh, wow.

[1556] Yeah.

[1557] Because it was on reruns on whatever, everywhere.

[1558] And it was attached to so much controversy because Phil Hartman was murdered and, you know, before the final season.

[1559] Yeah.

[1560] There was all so much weirdness.

[1561] Was that crazy?

[1562] I mean, that must have been the saddest, most intense thing in the world.

[1563] That was, that was, well, it taught me a lot.

[1564] First of all, it taught me, do not stay in one of those evil relationships.

[1565] because there's people that just they just don't work together and they try to make it work together and they went up fucking hating each other and that was him and her it was ugly and I tried to get him to divorce her several times and he was terrified of losing his image terrified of losing money I mean he just didn't want to be a divorced Hollywood bachelor guy his image was the family guy you know I'm a married man family guy everything's great and everything about him is like I'd look like a nice man yes yeah yeah yeah exactly the funniest but he was living in hell it was awful yeah she would like openly insult him at parties and stuff and where you'd just cringe just like toxic she hated him you know and she wound up shooting him in his sleep i mean it was it was it's so intense man yeah as ugly as it gets i mean he took like uh NyQuil or something like that to go to sleep and she shot him in the head while he was sleeping and how did you guys find you just find out on like a next day or like how do you I, well, I found out, I think I got a phone call.

[1566] Yeah, that's what it was.

[1567] I got a phone call.

[1568] Because this is like pre, this is pre -cell phone, pre -email, probably.

[1569] Yeah, it was 90, I want to say 98.

[1570] I guess I had a phone, but I mean, I guess I had a cell phone.

[1571] I had a shitty Motorola StarTack.

[1572] Remember those?

[1573] Razor.

[1574] They are not even there, yeah.

[1575] About 47 minutes of talk time.

[1576] We're going to put out of battery.

[1577] But, yeah.

[1578] Actually, now that I remember, I found about it, this is crazy, I found out about it from a girl I'd gone on a date with who worked for one of those shows, like hard copy or something like that.

[1579] She called me up, and she was trying to send a news crew to my house.

[1580] I was like, what a nice person?

[1581] I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[1582] Jesus.

[1583] We have to interview you.

[1584] We're going to send a crew to your house.

[1585] Like, what?

[1586] And then I tuned in the news, and there was helic, this is what it was really weird.

[1587] There was helicopters flying over Steve's, of Phil's house and then there was that guy who was in cocoon who was like a really famous actor for a while but he lost his fucking marbles who was that guy that was in cocoon he was a young handsome guy Steve Gutenberg now is that his name I mean Gutenberg yes yeah it was him yeah that guy lost his mind he lost his mind and he um his career had fallen apart so he had pull up a photo of Steve Gutenberg let me make sure it's him before I Let's tell us for the story.

[1588] Let me see.

[1589] What is it?

[1590] Is that what he looks like now?

[1591] That's what he looked like back then?

[1592] Yes.

[1593] see if you can Google Steve Gutenberg at Phil Hartman's murder.

[1594] Because he had decided that he was going to talk to the police.

[1595] He talked to CNN.

[1596] Yeah.

[1597] Yeah, or not to, he was going to talk to the press.

[1598] So he put on like a suit and he got out there and he was, he was out there talking to the press.

[1599] And we were all like, what the fuck is he doing?

[1600] I mean, maybe, I mean, he's, you don't hear about this guy anymore, right?

[1601] He kind of vanished.

[1602] But he had already vanished back then.

[1603] It had already, it was already like.

[1604] It was post all those movies, post to the police academy and all that shit.

[1605] And there's a weird thing that happens to some of these guys where they just...

[1606] They're like, it's all gone.

[1607] Right.

[1608] And then they're like, oh, this is an opportunity for me to get back on camera.

[1609] And we were all, all of us were like, how well did he know Steve Gutenberg?

[1610] Like, what the fuck is going on?

[1611] It was the strangest thing.

[1612] Him standing there with a suit on talking to all the press and talking to people.

[1613] That's so weird.

[1614] It was so weird.

[1615] I mean, maybe I'm wrong.

[1616] And maybe he did have this wonderful relationship that Phil never talked about.

[1617] Yeah.

[1618] But I was pretty close to Phil.

[1619] But I mean, I don't know.

[1620] Yeah.

[1621] I think there's a certain weirdness to talking to the press about someone who's just been murdered and people that are willing to, like, go on camera and give interviews and stuff.

[1622] It's like, are you mourning?

[1623] Aren't you freaked out?

[1624] Like, aren't you?

[1625] Yeah.

[1626] I don't know.

[1627] I, I, someone, I just was time.

[1628] This is a slightly changed, but it was, someone was like, do you remember where you were when the OJ verdict was written?

[1629] I was in high school.

[1630] I climbed a tree.

[1631] Why did you climb a tree?

[1632] So that if people would be like, where were you in the O .J. verdict?

[1633] In a tree.

[1634] I remember I was with my girlfriend at the time, and she threw her hands on her face and went, oh, no, oh, no. She just kept saying, oh, no. She just went, oh, no, oh, no. Were you in L .A.?

[1635] Yeah, we were watching it in my apartment.

[1636] We were watching the verdict.

[1637] And I was dumbfounded.

[1638] I thought he was going to jail.

[1639] Everybody thought he was going to jail.

[1640] And she just, she just kept going, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah.

[1641] I just remember being high school.

[1642] I knew Ron Goldman's sister, too.

[1643] Really?

[1644] Yeah.

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] That was real weird.

[1647] Yeah.

[1648] Yeah, I knew his sister.

[1649] Well, because also, like, her, Ron Goldman's father, and I have no, like, I can't imagine.

[1650] I can't even begin to fathom what that whole experience would be for anyone.

[1651] but he was like he felt very performative to me like he felt like he was again I say this with all due respect like I don't know what it's I would have no sense of what that experience like but there are certain people who you're like oh you do like being on camera I know something horrible happened to you but you did like being on camera I mean I have no idea I don't know either I mean how who the fuck knows how you I don't know how I would react your son was murdered by some superstar yeah just think about how crazy that is not just murdered but murdered by a famous guy yeah who then is like got off flaunted and got off yeah yeah and it was a part of this weird race thing where it was post rodney king so there was a lot of people that felt like there was some sort of a racist aspect to it that like there was racist cops who got off with rodney king so now it's their chance to get one for black folks yeah and i was talked to people about it you know it's that crazy did you watch the the do you watch the do you watch the OJ the documentary and then also there was the FX show.

[1652] I watched one episode of the FX show and I was like damn Cuba Good and June and fucking nailed it.

[1653] He really seemed like OJ in it.

[1654] It was really good.

[1655] Yeah.

[1656] But that's all I watched.

[1657] The documentary is interesting because it sets up like L .A. All like that.

[1658] The preceding years leading up to it.

[1659] Post -riots.

[1660] All that stuff like and you're like oh it does it sort of it does like lend itself to be like oh this was this was a perfect confluence of events that led to this thing of like, you know, racial, you know, everything that went into the OJ trial.

[1661] It's fucking nuts.

[1662] It's crazy.

[1663] It was a strange, strange time.

[1664] It was a strange time because it just seemed like the world was made of something that was way more flexible than I ever thought it was before.

[1665] Like, I never thought O .J. Simpson could be a murderer.

[1666] I thought murderers were bad people.

[1667] And that the people that you thought of that were good people on TV.

[1668] you would never think of, like, O .J. was always so friendly and smiley, and he would have that big laugh, and he was handsome.

[1669] Yeah.

[1670] Talk about head injuries to CTE.

[1671] It's like, you're like, I wonder what.

[1672] Oh, for sure, had to do with it.

[1673] Yeah.

[1674] A hundred percent, one thousand million percent.

[1675] Right.

[1676] In fact, his doctor said that if the trial were to take place today, his doctor at the time, they would introduce C .T. Yeah.

[1677] Yeah.

[1678] And you see all those dudes.

[1679] I mean, like the level of violence that.

[1680] There he is.

[1681] There he is.

[1682] That's right.

[1683] Police Academy.

[1684] Oh, yeah.

[1685] Naked gun.

[1686] Naked gun.

[1687] Oh, that's right.

[1688] He's funny and naked gun.

[1689] But it's interesting, you go back and watch that documentary, and it's like, you know, his buddies, his good buddies who stood by him.

[1690] Look at that picture.

[1691] His good buddies who stood by him, talk about him in high school.

[1692] And he's kind of like he was fucking throwing his friends under the bus in high school.

[1693] Like, all three of them would be, like, doing some, like, in the bathroom, like, doing some shit.

[1694] They're supposed to be in class.

[1695] and the principal would come in and the three of them were all together and OJ would just like saddle up next to the principal and be like what are we going to do with these two guys you know what I mean he was like throwing his buddies under the bus you're like oh he was CTE fucked him up I don't know what kind of man he would have been like whether he would have been so violent or whatever but he was a piece of shit plus CTV it kind of felt like he was a piece of shit his whole life well how about the book if I did it how crazy how crazy is that that he wrote a book if I did I didn't do it if I did it did you see the did you ever see ever seen his prank show juiced oh yes that's post the murder oh yeah post the murder man yeah it's fucking crazy did you ever see his rap song no oh young Jamie find it look at him oh yes yes this was part of that juiced I think thing right it's in that same thing it's part of it's like and it's all these young it's all these like young little hotties young little hotties who look like Nicole, it's so fucking weird.

[1696] What is that picture of him with the glasses?

[1697] That's from one of the sketches.

[1698] Look at that.

[1699] That is crazy.

[1700] What in the fuck is that?

[1701] Boy, he can go anywhere with that.

[1702] He can go to Disneyland just like that.

[1703] That's what you do if you're that famous and you did something awful like that?

[1704] You got to go in disguise.

[1705] How many chicks bang him just because he's OJ?

[1706] Now?

[1707] You think still people are, you still think people are going to bang him?

[1708] Yes, 100%.

[1709] I wonder.

[1710] But it's a OJ pretended he would what?

[1711] What does it say?

[1712] Huckolded this guy.

[1713] You're trying to cuckold this guy?

[1714] Oh, God, the poor guy.

[1715] I don't know, man. I wonder.

[1716] 100%.

[1717] Yeah, there's wacky broads that want to bang murderers.

[1718] Really?

[1719] Yes, I buy, yeah, I guess so.

[1720] There's a guy that we had in here, Nick Yaris, who went to jail.

[1721] He was on death row for 20 years for a crime that, 22 years, for a crime that he didn't commit.

[1722] And he said, since getting out, he's just in it.

[1723] He was asking on the podcast with these women to stop sending him.

[1724] emails.

[1725] I'm married.

[1726] I have a good relationship.

[1727] Like, please leave me alone.

[1728] Like, stop testing me. And like, really?

[1729] Yeah, they just throw that buzzy his way.

[1730] Interesting.

[1731] Yeah.

[1732] There's a, well, Richard Ramirez, the Nightstalker.

[1733] Yeah.

[1734] That guy apparently got all these women were sending him pictures and email or what was letters actually.

[1735] Yeah.

[1736] And he might have marrying some woman.

[1737] Really?

[1738] Yeah.

[1739] Manson, Manson's married.

[1740] Manson got married.

[1741] Mm -hmm.

[1742] Yeah.

[1743] A lot of them get married.

[1744] Fuck.

[1745] Yeah, real common Fuck, man Crazy, yeah I mean look I'd fuck OJ I would too I'd fuck them with you We'd high five each other Would you want the front of the back I would want I don't I think I'd want the front I think I'd Front be more dangerous If you had a CTE Like flashback and bit your dick off Oh that's true You can control the back A little better I wonder if yeah I wonder how his teeth did In prison He's out now right Yeah, but he's out.

[1746] Yeah.

[1747] Which is really weird.

[1748] That's wild.

[1749] What is O .J. doing these days?

[1750] He was, I can't remember what he was doing recently.

[1751] Where do you think he is, Jamie?

[1752] He's got a good podcast.

[1753] I've done his podcast for him.

[1754] I put on my Twitter, should I interview O .J. My podcast or nah.

[1755] What was the response?

[1756] Motion castor just sent me a text message.

[1757] It's like, what the fuck you do it?

[1758] I'm like, come on, man. I guess that would legitimize him, I guess.

[1759] He quit an interview.

[1760] Would that legitimize him?

[1761] I've heard that before.

[1762] O .J. Simpson, living life of luxury in Vegas, what year is this?

[1763] This is 18.

[1764] Oh, this is just now.

[1765] Last week.

[1766] Wow.

[1767] He's living a life of luxury in Vegas.

[1768] Look at him.

[1769] Hey, just walking around, strolling, plays golf.

[1770] Four to five times a week of the exclusive a royal golf club.

[1771] Far from keeping a low profile.

[1772] The former Buffalo Bill star has been spotted at hotels and even a Vegas Golden Knights hockey game.

[1773] Wow What the fuck Look at him Look at you getting someone Young Pugger Look at that girl I can't believe I fuck Tojay O'MG People fuck him I guarantee you Girls fuck him 100 % I wonder Probably more than us combined Look at us We're probably Travels around town With his own breathalizer Simpson reported Travels around town With his own breathalizer If he exceeds a certain Blood Alcohol level He could be sent back to prison So maybe he should just stop drinking.

[1774] Maybe he should just stop drinking.

[1775] He enjoys a martini a day.

[1776] Well, what is that if you, what is the blood alcohol level where they're sending you back to prison?

[1777] How crazy is that?

[1778] Is that out?

[1779] But if you have three beers, you're fucking in a cage, a piece of shit.

[1780] He's on parole, I guess, right?

[1781] He was on the Ali Jisha, or the thing that Sauskran Cohen did.

[1782] He's at the very, very, very end of it.

[1783] He was trying to talk him in the same and he did it.

[1784] Yeah, I think he was, I think, OJ was more aware of what was going on than a bunch of the other people on that show.

[1785] Well, I mean, you've got to think he's probably hyper paranoid that someone's fucking with him.

[1786] Fuck, I think everybody's fucking on them since always.

[1787] Look at him.

[1788] Yeah, more young pussy for OJ.

[1789] OJ wanted to meet me. My name is Nicole.

[1790] He said that's my favorite name.

[1791] Oh, my God.

[1792] That is insane.

[1793] Darkness, dude.

[1794] But you know what?

[1795] I bet he gets a lot of those vacant -eyed young ladies to accept his murderous penis.

[1796] I have trouble believing that, maybe.

[1797] I mean, why?

[1798] Because you think the world is good?

[1799] Do you ever ironically fuck somebody?

[1800] I think some gals would do that, right?

[1801] Ironically fuck a murderer?

[1802] I guess so.

[1803] I can't imagine.

[1804] Maybe I can't imagine.

[1805] I don't know what the social, like, the currency of that is.

[1806] What is said when Scott Peterson was sent to death row in California, San Quentin Prison for murdering, his wife, and their unborn child, dozens of women, phoned asking for his address with one teenager wasting no time in offering to marry him.

[1807] Wow.

[1808] Yeah, there's a, that's, I think, this is what I think.

[1809] I think there is some sort of ancient DNA that people have that attracts them to murderers and conquerors because those are the people that survived.

[1810] And there's some sort of a strange inclination for some women, obviously ones that are not thinking clearly, but for some women to want the sperm and the genetics of a murderer because that's the type of, if you had a murderous, brave conqueror for a child, that child would survive.

[1811] Huh.

[1812] Like that DNA is...

[1813] I get, yeah, I mean, I get some sense of survival, yeah.

[1814] Yeah, I mean, at times of barbaric life.

[1815] Sure, sure.

[1816] You wanted to be with someone.

[1817] Yeah, that's what I think it is.

[1818] Like a killer.

[1819] You don't want to deal with a pussy.

[1820] Not so much like the caveman comedian?

[1821] Well, I think that if a male feminists goes to jail, they get zero request for marriage.

[1822] They get none.

[1823] But you think so?

[1824] Yeah.

[1825] If some male feminist gets arrested and goes to jail, it's a rap.

[1826] Yeah, that's it.

[1827] But if you're a murder, you're probably get a lot.

[1828] Because women, there's a reason why men become, I mean, there's men who believe in equality and want women's rights.

[1829] And then there's men who are really weasily.

[1830] And what they're doing is they're just, they're being virtue -sertening and they're posturing and I think those guys if they go to jail crickets Well either way They're in jail So they're not They're probably not I don't know how it works I don't know you get late Some places you can get conjugal visits Yeah But I think it's It's dependent upon the jail You think Cosby's getting any Marital any proposals?

[1831] I bet he does I bet girls are trying to get raped by them Believe it or not I bet there are some girls Who would want Cosby to drug them Because they're Look people are fucking crazy People get their faces tattooed.

[1832] People, you know, there's people that are just straight up nuts.

[1833] Yeah.

[1834] And when there's a high profile thing like that.

[1835] Yeah.

[1836] I think when I think about that, I'm like, what happened to those people that made them to the point where they would be interested in something like that?

[1837] The person that goes after Cosby?

[1838] Yeah, yeah.

[1839] I have my theories about Cosby.

[1840] I think that when that happened, when Cosby first started doing that, I think it was common.

[1841] I think that whole slipping of Niki thing, Spanish fly.

[1842] Spanish fly.

[1843] I think in the 60s, in the 50s, I think asshole men did that to women all the fucking time.

[1844] And I don't think people thought about the consequences.

[1845] I don't think people thought about the rights of women.

[1846] I mean, if you just think about like chauvinism in films, male chauvinist behavior and sexist behavior, men smacking women in films.

[1847] I mean, it was really common.

[1848] Oh, yeah.

[1849] Steve McQueen and Ali, what was her name, Ali Sheedy?

[1850] Ali McGrath.

[1851] Ali McGrath.

[1852] Beat the fuck out of her in a scene, an actual scene.

[1853] She didn't even know he was going to do it.

[1854] Just beat the shit out of her and, like, actually on film.

[1855] That was a normal thing.

[1856] Last hango in Paris that just came out was like, Brando was like, yeah, we didn't, we just sprung this, like, sexual encounter on this woman.

[1857] Different game.

[1858] Yeah, it was a different world.

[1859] Yeah.

[1860] And I think there was a lot of, I mean, he was always hanging around the Playboy Mansion.

[1861] And I think there was a lot of men that just raped women and drugged them.

[1862] I think it was common.

[1863] Yeah.

[1864] I'm sure you've talked to many women that have had something dropped in their drink, right?

[1865] Yeah.

[1866] For sure.

[1867] It's crazy.

[1868] There's darkness out there.

[1869] There's so much darkness out there.

[1870] And it's a bummer.

[1871] It's such a fucking bummer, man. It's such a bummer.

[1872] It's scary.

[1873] And it's, yeah.

[1874] It's, and you think about, but it's crazy with Cosby.

[1875] It's like, it was.

[1876] And until, again, it's, I mean, it's crazy to think now, however many years ago, Hannibal said it on stage.

[1877] Like, we all knew some version.

[1878] Like, we had all heard some stories about Cosby.

[1879] And it was just sort of like, oh, well, Bill's Bill.

[1880] I heard about it on the set of news radio That's what I heard about it Yeah And nobody was gonna touch him Well no one knew for sure Nobody knew to the extent I guess Or but you'd heard You had heard from someone That you know But when Hannibal It's the crazy things When Hannibal said that on stage The people that aren't connected To Hollywood were like wait what Yeah What the fuck?

[1881] Yeah What did you say he's a rapist?

[1882] Like that video went viral Millions of people saw it And they're like what Bill Cosby rapes people And then everyone's like Yeah Like he raped me and they're like, what?

[1883] It's crazy.

[1884] And now he's in jail.

[1885] It's darkness, good.

[1886] It's fucking good, man. Well, it's crazy.

[1887] Good, but crazy that it took so long and crazy that it's only for three years.

[1888] He's got a three -year sentence, three to ten -year sentence.

[1889] Yeah, because that's the last one they could get him for, right?

[1890] Right.

[1891] Did you ever see him live?

[1892] Did you ever re -er?

[1893] No. Burr and I were supposed to go before all that shit went down.

[1894] And we wound up canceling, and then Burr, Or wound up seeing him, and he said he was amazing.

[1895] Chris Rock said he was fucking amazing, too.

[1896] Chris Rock said that he felt like he was an amateur after he watched Cosby.

[1897] Yeah.

[1898] He goes, I felt like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

[1899] Yeah.

[1900] I saw him once in Montreal during the festival.

[1901] I was hungover, and I watched, and I fell asleep.

[1902] It was like a Sunday afternoon.

[1903] I was like, sit down and tell me your story.

[1904] I fucking fell asleep.

[1905] I knew.

[1906] It would feel weird if you really enjoyed it.

[1907] If he was like your best, your favorite comedian.

[1908] I know.

[1909] That would suck.

[1910] It would suck.

[1911] I would, it would suck more.

[1912] Who was your favorite stand -up when you were first starting?

[1913] Well, let's see.

[1914] When I first started, I started in New York, sort of a moment, the alt scene.

[1915] Like, I remember seeing Galfinaccus early on and being like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is.

[1916] This guy.

[1917] He doesn't do enough, man. No, he does.

[1918] He's so good.

[1919] Yeah, he'll pop up and be, and he's so funny.

[1920] I remember seeing Burr, because I had been doing sort of more alt -room stuff, and then I remember seeing Burr come to, like, the UCB in New York, and seeing him do stand up and be like, oh, he's doing him and he's doing it in this space where people are not used to seeing just a straight stand up and he's fucking killing.

[1921] I remember seeing him early on being like, Jesus, this guy is fucking killing.

[1922] And being like very impressed me. Like, how do I do that?

[1923] And however many years later, I'm still like, how do I do that?

[1924] When you were a kid, was there anyone that really stood out that made you consider stand -up?

[1925] I mean, I remember seeing delirious, watching delirious and then being like, and the specials that I had, had or around me growing up where Carlin and Carnegie Delirious and, like, Robin Williams at the Met or some are, like, you know, like, those specials, those were big for me. And I just remember seeing Delirious and being, like, memorizing that whole thing.

[1926] Did you ever get to meet Robin?

[1927] No. No. Did you see him at the store a bunch or, like, around?

[1928] I met, I met him in the craziest way possible.

[1929] I did a set at the improv, and afterwards I was taking pictures with people.

[1930] There was, like, a line of people, and I was taking photos.

[1931] and this old guy with his white beard and glasses and a baseball hat came up and he wanted to tell me how funny he thought the show was and I was talking to him for a couple minutes before I realized it was Robin Williams.

[1932] Jesus.

[1933] And then in the middle of it, like we're talking.

[1934] I go, oh, thank you.

[1935] That's so nice.

[1936] I really appreciate it, man. Thanks.

[1937] I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[1938] Holy shit.

[1939] I never told him I knew.

[1940] I was like, but my brain was like, I didn't know what to say.

[1941] I really appreciate that.

[1942] Thank you so much.

[1943] You know, and, you know, he was just talking about a specific bit that I was doing and, you know, like, about how crazy it was.

[1944] And, like, I love the twist and the turn and this and then that.

[1945] And it's like, wow, thanks, man. The guy waited in line with everybody.

[1946] That's wild.

[1947] Yeah, just waited in line.

[1948] Came by himself.

[1949] Did you see him doing some version of your bit?

[1950] A couple of years.

[1951] I didn't.

[1952] He would, thankfully, rest of peace, rest of peace.

[1953] You know what you did?

[1954] A sponge.

[1955] A sponge.

[1956] He's just a sponge.

[1957] he uh thankfully he wasn't doing stand -up back then that was uh when he was doing that show remember he was doing that show the crazy ones oh yeah came back and tried to do a sitcom before he yeah but he yeah i mean i had friends everyone would see him in like he'd come because he'd come to do improv at ucb and then he would go and do you know he was sort of i don't know if he was doing stand -up at any point but you know i i never got to catch i never got my like you know i have a lot of who I feel like got a little touch from him and that feeling of like you are you know and it I mean because he was a guy who I was like oh that's what I like you're doing what I like you're doing stand up but it's characters and you're doing all the stuff and you're acting you get to be in serious movies and you get to be in comedy like yeah I was sort of like he was sort of sort of a model of like I was like I think I would like to do what he's doing yeah he was so flexible yeah in what he was able to do.

[1958] Yeah.

[1959] Yeah.

[1960] Did you ever see Patch Adams?

[1961] No. It might be the worst movie this ever made.

[1962] It might be the worst.

[1963] It's probably right up there with a Travolta Gotti movie, but I haven't seen that.

[1964] Oh my God.

[1965] I want to see that Travolta Gauda movie.

[1966] I almost watched it today on the elliptical machine.

[1967] New York fucking city.

[1968] Every, he says, fuck, every three words, and you like, oh, Johnny, look at you.

[1969] This fucking city.

[1970] I fucking love it.

[1971] It looks so bad.

[1972] It looks so bad.

[1973] I love that, though.

[1974] There's something that I like, oh, I just, like, love that John has tried to, like, call him a trollter.

[1975] There's something I, like, love about a man so deeply out of touch.

[1976] I mean, that's the thing is, like, yeah, look at up.

[1977] Oh, fucking thumbs fucking up.

[1978] Me and my wife's dressed as Sarah Palin.

[1979] I love this fucking city.

[1980] Boy, the sexual chemistry between them is palpable.

[1981] Probably real.

[1982] Super real.

[1983] You were talking about at the beginning of, like, cults.

[1984] And I'm like, I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about, Tom Cruise and Scientology There is a man using every ounce Of what Scientology is offering To make himself the best Available Man that he's capable of being Yeah Then you've got Travolta You know what I mean?

[1985] Like you've got Two versions of like a man Who's becoming slightly out of touch With what he You know Hey no look at my fucking wig It's a good wig It's a good wig How amazing are wigs these days?

[1986] He's got great wig I mean, that's a fucking incredible wig.

[1987] Thinning just a little bit up front.

[1988] You would think that's his hair.

[1989] He's living the dream.

[1990] It's incredible.

[1991] He's living the goddamn dream.

[1992] Are you okay with time?

[1993] We could wrap this up.

[1994] Whatever, yeah.

[1995] It's already 3 .30.

[1996] Yeah, we got to...

[1997] What is that?

[1998] That's in the Shapiro and the O .J. thing.

[1999] Oh, yeah.

[2000] That was I saw him.

[2001] That's amazing.

[2002] That little chin.

[2003] Is that his?

[2004] He wore a little chin thing?

[2005] He got like a little chin yarmica there.

[2006] It's unbelievable.

[2007] I remember seeing him in an award ceremony.

[2008] that when he had that little chin thing.

[2009] And I was like, did he put that on after the thing?

[2010] I met him when his wife was on Fear Factor.

[2011] Really?

[2012] Yeah, Kelly Preston was on Fear Factor.

[2013] She was on Fear Factor?

[2014] Yeah, Celebrity Fear Factor.

[2015] David Hasselhoff, Kelly.

[2016] Wow.

[2017] Kelly Preston.

[2018] How were they?

[2019] She was really nice.

[2020] She was super friendly.

[2021] Yeah.

[2022] But I felt like they recruited people.

[2023] Yes.

[2024] I mean, this was before assignment.

[2025] Scientology was sort of stigmatized.

[2026] There was a lot of people that were joining it.

[2027] What is going on there?

[2028] What was that?

[2029] He has a black swimmer's cap on.

[2030] I love it.

[2031] That hair is so crazy, fake looking.

[2032] That's like that magnetic man that you could like move the magnets around to create hair.

[2033] Like whose fucking hair looks like that?

[2034] That's crazy.

[2035] I mean the color, everything is wrong.

[2036] That's madness.

[2037] But yeah, she was super friendly.

[2038] Like really down to her.

[2039] super normal and friendly she's like these tarantulas are great you know if you eat enough and you want to come and hang out later we could eat more yes like we could maximize eating tarantulas and you can join yeah you can join we can let me get your phone number I'd like to have come from brunch people your way with some e -meters yeah I remember watching that dick going clear the documentary and being like oh I'm not scared like they're not coming for me like Miskovich is not coming for me he's coming for like the people under him who he sees as a threat yeah I don't think he sees us as a threat.

[2040] Like, I don't think he gives a fuck us being like, I don't know about Scientology.

[2041] I bet he shields himself from anything like this, any kind of criticism and thought about it.

[2042] But I do tell you that I had Miskovich's dad on.

[2043] Really?

[2044] Yeah.

[2045] Oh, right, because he's the, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he fucking escaped in the middle of the night.

[2046] But that's what I'm saying, like, if I'm miscovich's dad, I'm scared, because he's like, Miskovich is like, my dad is a threat to me. Like, you and I talking about Scientology, I don't think Miskich gives a fuck.

[2047] It was a weird conversation.

[2048] What was he like?

[2049] Well, he's sad.

[2050] He's like he lost his whole life to this nonsense.

[2051] Yeah.

[2052] And his son's gone.

[2053] Like, he can't, his son won't contact him.

[2054] And it was his idea to get the family into Scientology.

[2055] So he's like the guilt of that.

[2056] Yeah, the son rises through the ranks, winds up running the whole fucking thing.

[2057] And now the son won't talk to him.

[2058] My favorite thing is Miskovich and Tom Cruise shaking hands.

[2059] Yes.

[2060] It's the best.

[2061] It's like this.

[2062] It's these.

[2063] This tiny alpha man. And they salute L -R -H.

[2064] Yes.

[2065] And it's like, and Miskovich is trumping him where you can, you can see Tom Cruise trying to pull his hand away.

[2066] And Miskovich is like, I will not relent.

[2067] I will not release.

[2068] And you can see Tom Cruise being like, this tinier man than me has an even higher level of alphanus than I can off.

[2069] Yeah.

[2070] And I will like, and I will, I will relent.

[2071] Well, the real threat to them is Leah Remini.

[2072] I mean, what Leah Remini is done, like she is, look at it.

[2073] There is.

[2074] You can see him trying to pull this in the fucking...

[2075] They salute.

[2076] They salute.

[2077] Grab them.

[2078] Give them here, you motherfucker.

[2079] You can see Tom Cruise, like, trying to pull his hand away, and Mitzkevich won't let it go.

[2080] It's really fantastic.

[2081] Relenting.

[2082] Yeah.

[2083] Unrelenting.

[2084] You can see.

[2085] He's trying to, like, you can see the hands trying to, like, come lose, and he won't let it happen.

[2086] He's like, and it's like that Trump move.

[2087] My favorite thing is when they salute the picture of LRH, they salute it.

[2088] A shitty science.

[2089] fiction writer.

[2090] Look at it.

[2091] He was wearing that big dinner plate around his neck.

[2092] I know.

[2093] And look of it.

[2094] Tom Cruise is not a tall man. And Miscovich is he towers over Tom Cruise.

[2095] Or Tom Cruise cowers over him.

[2096] Yes, Tom, sorry, yes.

[2097] Look at that fucking giant gold medal he won.

[2098] Yeah, I know.

[2099] By being the most awesomeest person in the universe.

[2100] But again, I'm like, I don't know.

[2101] Did you see the recent mission impossible?

[2102] He's amazing.

[2103] It's amazing.

[2104] He's a fucking fantastic actor.

[2105] I'm like so on board.

[2106] I'm on board for the whole thing.

[2107] I'm like, you know how hard it is to get a movie made now to get anybody to pay attention, go learn to fly a helicopter and jump off a building and break your ankle.

[2108] Like, fucking go for it, man. Well, you know as well as I do, you've been around a lot of actors, they're all fucking crazy.

[2109] But his crazy is just a different kind of crazy, but it's also a different kind of success.

[2110] Yeah.

[2111] But I'm like, he's a guy who I feel like would get, like, he's like, yeah, like, whatever I need to do, like I will maximize myself.

[2112] Look at the gold metal.

[2113] It's fucking amazing.

[2114] I love.

[2115] Can I get some volume?

[2116] Let me hear some of this.

[2117] I take this as a half -act.

[2118] Some inside joke.

[2119] That's like a good inside -side joke.

[2120] Yeah, for sure.

[2121] I will continue on my way, okay?

[2122] These are the times now, people.

[2123] These are the times we will all remember.

[2124] Isn't that the song?

[2125] Were you there?

[2126] What did you do?

[2127] I think you know that I am there for you, and I do care so very, very, very much.

[2128] That's why he's the best actor ever.

[2129] He's full of shit right there and you believe it.

[2130] Or do you think he's full of shit?

[2131] I feel like he's on the verge of fucking tears.

[2132] I think he's so juiced.

[2133] But he's full of shit for sure with everything he does.

[2134] I don't think there's a moment in his life where he's not full of shit.

[2135] Right, but he believes it so deeply.

[2136] Look at this, the salute.

[2137] LR

[2138].H.

[2139] Go

[2140] back