Keith Urban

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dachshepard.

[2] Hi, I'm Minuture Mouse.

[3] Hi there.

[4] I'm here.

[5] How are you doing here?

[6] I'm doing good here.

[7] We're in your apartment.

[8] We're in my apartment.

[9] Your safe space.

[10] Yes, the air quality is poor in Los Angeles.

[11] It's not ideal air quality, and I've made the air quality in here worse with many trips of the bathroom, and you've been a real gentleman about rubbing my nose in it.

[12] I just want to thank you, and I want to thank the listeners.

[13] And mostly I want to thank Keith Urban.

[14] Keith, of course, is an Australian singer, songwriter, and record producer.

[15] He has four Grammy Awards and 19 Grammy nominations.

[16] Count them, 19.

[17] So you count to 19 right now, Monica.

[18] I can't.

[19] I count that high.

[20] Okay.

[21] He is a new album out September 18th, the Speed of Now Part 1.

[22] Again, that's the Speed of Now Part 1 that's coming out on September 18th.

[23] So check it out.

[24] And please enjoy the very charming.

[25] Keith Urban.

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[27] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[28] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[29] He's an armchair expert.

[30] He's an upcher Xxper.

[31] How are you doing, man?

[32] Good, Dax.

[33] Good to see it.

[34] You're in Sydney.

[35] Is it morning?

[36] It is morning, yeah.

[37] It's just, after 11 o 'clock.

[38] Do you live there?

[39] Well, we live in Nashville, but Nick is shooting a film here right now because they can shoot here, so we relocated for the duration of the shoot.

[40] And how do you enjoy that?

[41] Because I, too, am in that situation where I have to join my wife sometimes in a town and be a full -time dad and all that.

[42] Do you dig it?

[43] Yeah.

[44] I mean, we've been together 15 years, and I'm so used to it.

[45] I'm a touring musician anyway, so I'm used to just gypsying it around and living in different places, set up camp wherever, and this is home for a week or six months, whatever it is, and just get into the groove of that being home, you know?

[46] Yeah, do you have that thing where it's like by the end of a tour, you're miserable and you want to be off of it?

[47] And then like three weeks later, you're like, I'm fucking miserable at home.

[48] I got to get back on tour.

[49] Do you find yourself in that cycle?

[50] Yeah, of course, all the above.

[51] But I've got to keep reminding myself, no whining on the yacht.

[52] No whining on the yacht.

[53] No. Now, when you're back, in Australia, do you have places you're excited to go back to?

[54] I love Sydney.

[55] It's just a really beautiful city.

[56] I was raised up in Brisbane, Queensland, which is quite a ways north.

[57] I love it.

[58] There's a big harbor, but then you've got the beaches, and then you've got rainforest, and then you've got a city, you get suburb, you get a whole blend of everything.

[59] It's a really charming place.

[60] It is.

[61] I'm afraid to pronounce the town you were actually raising, but cabulcher?

[62] Yeah, spot on.

[63] Caboolcher?

[64] Caboolcher, yeah.

[65] What would you compare convulcher to?

[66] Is there an American city that you could?

[67] It's funny because you almost say kombucha.

[68] You're so close to it.

[69] Yeah, you're on the verge.

[70] Which is another word I can't really say, Cambocha.

[71] Well, when I was growing up there, it was just a small dairy town.

[72] They had a big dairy co -op factory there, and that was its claim to fame.

[73] And it was a bit off the freeway.

[74] But over the years, it's become enmeshed and pulled into the great city of Brisbane and become a bit of a suburb, really.

[75] even though it's an hour away, but it was a good place to grow up.

[76] I mean, I moved around a lot.

[77] In the city of Brisbane, I went to five different schools in the first five years in my life.

[78] So we were always moving around.

[79] Finally moved to Cabo Alto when I was about 10 and was there from the age of 10 to 18 or so.

[80] Why were you born in New Zealand?

[81] Was that like a logistical error?

[82] Or were they living there?

[83] I didn't know if they were on holiday or something and she just gave birth there or someone lived there.

[84] No, so my mom and dad were born in New Zealand.

[85] Oh, okay.

[86] I was only just born there, actually, because my mom and dad went, well, we'd like to maybe go to Australia, more opportunity.

[87] Let's go to this big, unknown place and see if we can start a new life there.

[88] They went over to Melbourne, actually, and my mom got pregnant.

[89] My brother was born in Melbourne.

[90] And then they went, you know what, this is kind of great here in Australia, but maybe we want to move further north up to Queensland.

[91] Let's go back to New Zealand.

[92] We'll sell all of our stuff and we'll make this big permanent move.

[93] They went back to New Zealand.

[94] I was born.

[95] And then when I was two years old, they moved back to Australia.

[96] Now, I moved a bit as a kid as well.

[97] What was driving all that movement?

[98] Your dad, he owned a convenience store?

[99] Is that accurate?

[100] Yeah, a bunch of different places.

[101] He was a drummer.

[102] So he sort of like was frustrated musician trying to find his artistic creative outlet, but also feed his family and did all kinds of different jobs.

[103] And so we never owned a house.

[104] We're always renting and they were always pieces of crap.

[105] And a lot of the time it would be a corner store that he'd take over and there'd be a house attached in the back with like two bedrooms kind of thing.

[106] And as basic as it comes, and we just kept moving all the time.

[107] They'd sell that place, go to some other place, always moving.

[108] Starting school over and over again is not ideal.

[109] How'd it go for you?

[110] I have a brother who's two years older than me. Shane, that was kind of good having a two -year -old a brother going into these schools.

[111] But pretty quickly, the guitar became a great way for me to get accepted.

[112] Yeah.

[113] Do you play any instruments?

[114] I play the drums poorly.

[115] I would say I'm a four out of ten drummer.

[116] I've been playing the guitar for 20 years, never taken a lesson.

[117] I play like someone who's been taking lessons for three months.

[118] So that's kind of where I'm at.

[119] I hate instruction of any kind.

[120] I have a lot of male authority issues.

[121] As I learned a little bit more about you today.

[122] I think we have a lot of parallels.

[123] My father was one of the great drinkers.

[124] He did die sober, which is amazing.

[125] Good for you.

[126] Good for him.

[127] Yeah, but he was a party animal.

[128] And he caused a lot of those moves.

[129] I was wondering, do you have good spidey senses?

[130] Better now.

[131] Are you good at reading when someone's about to turn?

[132] What kind of person and what kind of turn?

[133] Well, in addition to my father, I also had a string of stepfathers who also love to imbide.

[134] And I got good at predicting when the good time Charlie was about to turn into the maniac.

[135] Oh, wow.

[136] Yeah.

[137] Yeah, I don't know.

[138] I mean, because I kind of became that myself for a long time.

[139] Oh, me too.

[140] Yeah.

[141] It is what it is, right?

[142] You're born with that or you're not.

[143] And if you are, good luck.

[144] Yeah.

[145] But yeah, I mean, I've gotten a lot better over the years at not questioning my instincts.

[146] Uh -huh.

[147] So I was thinking about you in playing guitar.

[148] So you got into it pretty young.

[149] You started taking lessons and you had a great aptitude for it.

[150] And you were even on TV as a young kid.

[151] So I was thinking with your looks and getting attention for being on TV, that can go one of two ways in school, right?

[152] Every guy could hate your fucking guts or it could be embraced.

[153] So what version did you have?

[154] A bit of both.

[155] But I tell you, one of the things I remember from, high school in Queensland at that time, primary school was grade one to seven, seventh grade, and then you moved over to high school, eighth grade to twelfth grade.

[156] That transition from, I guess it would be middle school, right?

[157] Yeah.

[158] To high school is brutal because you go from like the coolest kid, back of the bus, running the show to like nobody, nothing, just squatter.

[159] It was a rough transition for me, but they were doing a production of Oliver.

[160] And they're like, Like, we need a little blonde -haired kid who can sing, not a lot of options.

[161] And so I can't act for shit that I could sing.

[162] And so I got the gig.

[163] They did this picture of me holding the little bowl.

[164] Yeah, yeah, the poor little.

[165] And they stuck it on like a little badge or pin thing, right?

[166] And handed them out to all the kids in school.

[167] So it was like my first taste of fame.

[168] Yeah.

[169] It was my face on all these kids wearing these things around.

[170] And prior to that, Naomi and me. and everything.

[171] I'm like, this is fantastic.

[172] About a week after the musical finished, it was right back to shift zero again.

[173] And I went, I got it.

[174] Okay, I see.

[175] I got it.

[176] Good lesson to learn right out of the gates.

[177] It was an amazing lesson to learn at 13.

[178] It was really important.

[179] Just to know that this is all bullshit and don't buy into it.

[180] Well, so similarly, junior high for me was the peak of my life.

[181] If I could relive any year in my life over and over again, it'd be seventh grade.

[182] It was the only time in my life I I touched what Brad Pitt experiences.

[183] And then grew another foot, lost 10 pounds, changed high schools.

[184] And I was at the back of the line, as you say.

[185] And for me, it ended up defining who I was in that.

[186] I was like, okay, so you're not going to bet on your looks.

[187] You're going to have to really pick up the personality aspect.

[188] You're going to have to learn out of dance and get funny or you're fucked.

[189] Right.

[190] Can you dance?

[191] Yeah.

[192] Yeah.

[193] Rated out of 10.

[194] Seven?

[195] You're really putting me on the spot.

[196] Yeah.

[197] One time he said he could dance as well as Bruno Mars.

[198] In my defense, I had not seen Bruno Mars dance just for the record.

[199] And then I showed him a video.

[200] And then he was like, oh, I can't dance.

[201] I cannot do that.

[202] Yeah, a seven and a half.

[203] Oh, wow.

[204] Thank you.

[205] Thank you.

[206] Yeah, yeah.

[207] Went up a half.

[208] That's great.

[209] Yeah.

[210] I always recommend a young men, you know, learn a couple jokes, learn to dance, and everything will just, you know, work out enough.

[211] Yeah.

[212] Okay, so what was the country music scene in Australia?

[213] obviously I don't associate Australia with country music all that much.

[214] A, was there a thriving scene?

[215] And B, had there been an Australian musician that had become successful in the States by way of country music prior to you?

[216] Not one that I knew of that I'd used for inspiration or anything like that.

[217] My dad, being a drummer, grew up in the 50s, got infected by the rock and roll bug.

[218] And consequently, America was everything.

[219] It was all my dad obsessed about.

[220] We're going to live in America one day.

[221] Never did.

[222] But I inherited all of that.

[223] And then through my dad's 60s and 70s, he moved from early rock and roll, which was very rockabilly, you know.

[224] Sure.

[225] He moved over towards country, particularly through the 70s and became obsessed with American country music.

[226] Charlie Pride and Waylon Jennings and Merrill Hagg and Johnny Cash.

[227] The original outlaws.

[228] That was like the high watermark, right, of country?

[229] Yeah.

[230] The 70s was a great time for country music, I think, particularly because it was the start of individualism in a really big way.

[231] I mean, Whelan was the first guy to use his road band on a record.

[232] That'd never been done before.

[233] That was flashing.

[234] You had to use session musicians.

[235] And he was like, no, not going to do it that way.

[236] And really opened the doors for everybody since who wanted to do it their way like me. But on the back of all these records, it used to say recorded in Nashville, Tennessee.

[237] And when I was seven, eight years old, well, I'm looking through all these credits and these records.

[238] And I go, oh, if you want to make a record, you go to Nashville, Tennessee.

[239] That's where you go.

[240] So it was imprinted right from then that I would live there sometime, someday.

[241] Now, was there any moment where you were locked into that dream that you thought, well, wait, rock and roll is going to probably result in bigger shows, more backstage action?

[242] Were you at all lured?

[243] I noticed that one of your idols, guitar speaking, was Lindsay Buckingham, which is a great idol to have, by the way.

[244] Yeah, yeah.

[245] Were you ever tempted to go down that path?

[246] Well, backstage action wasn't on my mind at the age of eight.

[247] it was for Daxson I mean that's almost seventh grade I guess yeah that was the height yeah yeah that was it look at the end of the day I think I'm like a lot of boys I was trying to get my dad's attention right I just wanted my dad's attention and so I was gravitating towards whatever it is that my dad seemed more interested in than me and if he was more interested in these country artists then that's what I would do and so I sort of fell towards that style of music and learned those kinds of songs, and before I knew it, that's what I was doing.

[248] When I got to be sort of 14 -15, the music that was talking to me was Iron Maiden and Judas Priest and Whitesnake and Saxon.

[249] And I'm like, that's the stuff that was talking to me. And so I joined this heavy metal band called Fractured Mirror when I was back 15.

[250] Perfect title.

[251] Perfect name.

[252] Yeah, I was taken from an Ace Fraley record, which is kind of weird.

[253] Well, he also didn't he have smashed mirrors on his vest.

[254] Paul Stanley did.

[255] Oh, he on his vest, maybe.

[256] Yes, he did.

[257] I think Ace might have had him on his vest.

[258] You're right.

[259] Paul ended up putting him on the guitar.

[260] Anyway, we're getting lost.

[261] But I joined this heavy metal band at the age of 15.

[262] But at the same time, a friend of mine had turned me onto these Ricky Skaggs records, which is sort of like bluegrass, pop, fusion, whatever the country, whatever the heck Ricky was doing at that time.

[263] And he had this guy called Albert Lee playing guitar.

[264] And I was like, obsessed with Albert Lee's chicken pickin.

[265] This chicken picking thing was like, what the hell is that, you know?

[266] So I'm in this heavy metal band.

[267] I'm listening your Ricky Skacks records and I'm not quite sure which way I'm supposed to go and I got fired from the band one night because we were playing a gig, I got the Fender Strat, I got the Marshall Stack, I've got the, I'm just, I looked apart.

[268] I'm killing it, you know, and they throw me a solo in this song and I just bust out this chicken picking guitar solo.

[269] The lead singer looks at me, he's like, what the fuck is that?

[270] You know, I was fired and I realized, I had a musical identity crisis right then and there to come to terms with which way I was going to go.

[271] And in the end, look, it was about not choosing anything.

[272] It was just fusing all these things together and figuring out, well, I'm a bit of this, I'm a bit of that and a bit of that.

[273] I'll just figure out how to put all that together.

[274] It takes a while, though, doesn't it, to acquire that kind of confidence in yourself that your version of you is enough and can be a thing.

[275] I've had that experience just as an actor.

[276] I was trying to be this person and that person.

[277] And then just finally I was like, oh, I think I'm enough.

[278] I can just be me, but that takes a while, doesn't it, to have that kind of conviction?

[279] Oh, God, yeah.

[280] Absolutely.

[281] Especially moving to Nashville in the early 90s when I did.

[282] Man, that was really rough because I wasn't doing anything remotely that made sense for me to be there as far as they saw.

[283] And they were right.

[284] I mean, I had a lot of stuff to figure out, but I wanted to figure it out there.

[285] I built up a really good career in Australia, but I watched enough people to know that whenever you decide to go and pursue things in America, which is Oz, right?

[286] It's just the Yellow Brick Road.

[287] And if you're one in a million, there's 320 of you there.

[288] And so if I'm going to pursue this, it doesn't matter how successful I am in Australia.

[289] None of it translates when you get to America.

[290] You just start at the back of the line, no matter who you are, they don't give a crap.

[291] And so I went, if I'm going to starve, let's get on with the starving.

[292] Let's get to Nashville and start starving, you know, so I'm glad I went there early on.

[293] I'm particularly interested in your move to Nashville when I learned your story today because I was going to Nashville often in the mid -90s for work.

[294] I worked for General Motors and now Nashville is like the greatest city in America.

[295] It's just so wonderful.

[296] I love going there and it's changed so much.

[297] But in the 90s, even just being from the north and being a Yankee was potentially dangerous or there was some attitude that you would get at the bars.

[298] And you being from Australia, I can't imagine it was very easy.

[299] It wasn't.

[300] But I got in with a good bunch of songwriters.

[301] And the thing everybody loves to do is just pull our guitars and start passing them around and playing songs and just little jam sessions, impromptu things, whatever.

[302] And it was apparent very early on that I knew my stuff as far as all the history of country music.

[303] And even though I didn't look like I fit in, I was there for the right reason.

[304] And it just took a long time.

[305] It's a small town like any small town in Australia.

[306] They're really, really wary of the carpet baggage is coming in.

[307] They're like, what's your capo?

[308] What are you doing here?

[309] What's your story?

[310] You know, and I get that.

[311] I'm from Australia.

[312] I'm from a small town in Australia.

[313] We're exactly the same.

[314] We're like, who are you?

[315] What's going on?

[316] What are you scamming here?

[317] So I get it.

[318] Yeah, this is our thing.

[319] What are you doing here?

[320] This is our thing.

[321] And I went there as a guest and I've never lost sight of that.

[322] I'm a guest there.

[323] And even though I've been there 27 years, I've never lost sight of.

[324] of the feeling and remembering that I'm a guest and trying to build a life there.

[325] And I've been really fortunate to be able to build a really good life and good family in Nashville.

[326] Well, I came up with a theory, and this will be hard for you to confirm or negate because it'll require you to brag.

[327] But when I was thinking of your time in Nashville, I have to imagine what had to break through is that you're just a bad motherfucker on the guitar.

[328] Like, once that was demonstrated, it must have cut through a lot of that xenophobia or what are you doing here.

[329] it helped and it hurt in the sense like right but what do we do with that i had a little three -piece band and we used to play these shows all the time the classic showcase for the record companies to come and see us and god i hope we get a record do you know and we did so many disastrous versions of those there's a unique misery in it isn't there oh my gosh a unique misery no question but there was this guy from sony records he used to come and see us play all the time and he would be there till the bitter end.

[330] They're at the beginning and I just loved it.

[331] And I came up to him one night and I'm like, man, you're at all of our gigs.

[332] And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[333] And I said, why do you come?

[334] He goes, ah, because I love you guys.

[335] And I said, why can't we get signed?

[336] He goes, I'm the only one that loves you guys.

[337] Oh, wow.

[338] What honest.

[339] So I'm like, what am I doing wrong?

[340] I don't know what to do.

[341] People are always like, do your best.

[342] And I'm like, I'm doing my best.

[343] And it's not getting me anywhere.

[344] So what now?

[345] Yeah.

[346] What do I do?

[347] He said, Keith, you're really unique, man. And it will be your biggest curse until it becomes your greatest blessing.

[348] Oh, God, isn't that the truth?

[349] He just said, stay the course and don't acquiesce.

[350] And he was spot on.

[351] It took a long, long time, but it eventually happened.

[352] Did you ever get to work with him professionally?

[353] No, I didn't.

[354] But sometimes it sounds like the most cornball cheesy advice like that, right?

[355] Some sort of like hallmarked cars.

[356] or something hang in there kitty you know yeah and you tell people that and they're like that was the advice that made a big difference but on that night when he said it to me the way he said it to me it went right to the core of my whole being because i was trying to fit in and i was compromising on things and i went well compromising is not a good thing but maybe adapting will be the right thing so let's figure out what do i do that makes sense right now and just focus on those and let go the other stuff till later.

[357] I always use this example, right?

[358] Do you really present your real self when you go to meet your girlfriend's parents the first time?

[359] Nope.

[360] Well, not really.

[361] I never did, but when I met Kristen's parents, I was like, I'm 32.

[362] I own a home.

[363] I'm done with this.

[364] I'm going to present the real me. And guess what?

[365] It backfired.

[366] It took me about two years to win back over my father -in -law because I was just like, dude, I'm just a fucking dude, you know?

[367] I'm not going to Eddie Haskell you, like, this is me. I'm a recovering addict.

[368] You know, I'm an ex -cumbag.

[369] But I'll treat your daughter well.

[370] Yeah, I probably could have done a better job.

[371] But I so agree with what you're saying.

[372] I have a couple different actor friends who are so unique.

[373] And as they will audition for things, maybe they'll ask me to go over it with them.

[374] And I will often urge people like, dude, it's so much better to not get hired for 85 jobs to finally get hired to do the thing you can do.

[375] It's worth losing those 85.

[376] Right.

[377] To just stay the course and then get hired to do what you do.

[378] That's your only real shot of breaking out.

[379] There's really only one way to do it, which is just you got to keep doubling down on what you are.

[380] Another thing, when I got to town and somebody said, you know, what's your goal?

[381] And I said, what's your goal?

[382] And I said, what's your goal?

[383] And I said, what's your goal?

[384] And I said, what do you mean by that?

[385] And they go, the one that lets you make the record that you want to make.

[386] It's your voice.

[387] It's your music.

[388] Wait out for that one.

[389] Like you said, Dax passed over all the other ones and wait for that one.

[390] Because once you get it, I saw some artists have a lot of success acquiescing everything.

[391] Being given the song, being given the band, the musicians, being given the producer, all court appointed attorney kind of thing, right?

[392] And they would have success.

[393] And their attitude was, as soon as I get success, I'll pull the reins over to my thing.

[394] And I'm going to do it my way.

[395] But what they found was the record company didn't want to change anything.

[396] If they had success based on that formula, they didn't want to change the formula.

[397] And then they were stuck.

[398] And so I thought, all right, well, I'll wait until we get a deal where I can be the producer and I can choose the musicians and the songs and everything else.

[399] And it was really good advice.

[400] Now, you played Grand Old Opry for the first time in 93.

[401] You moved to Nashville in 92.

[402] Right.

[403] These dates sound semi -real.

[404] Yeah.

[405] Well, okay, so this again, where I feel like I may had a shared experience with you, which is I moved to LA, and I was 10 years of auditioning before I got employment.

[406] And you were seven years before you release Keith Urban, your self -titled album, right?

[407] Yeah.

[408] That's a long time in your 20s, isn't it?

[409] For me, it was, I needed comfort.

[410] I mean, I think it would have been an addict anyways because of the genetics and some childhood trauma, but I certainly needed relief from that decade battle of, like, failing at that.

[411] something I loved.

[412] Yes, yes.

[413] I got asked a lot.

[414] Did you think about going back to Australia?

[415] And I went, not once.

[416] I literally never once thought about it.

[417] That just wasn't an option.

[418] Yeah.

[419] It always felt like success was just around the corner.

[420] It was just right around the corner, except they kept moving the fucking corner.

[421] Yeah.

[422] And you must have had friends as well.

[423] Like, you were seeing probably peers find success, yeah?

[424] I was on the fringes for a long time, it felt like, and trying to move closer to those kinds of people.

[425] I didn't know those kinds of people, really, man, it's, I mean, when you look back, you must have that feeling of like, I can't believe I got out of that alive.

[426] I cannot believe that I stumbled into this whole thing.

[427] Oh, if you look at the odds of an American moving to Nashville with tons of talent, the odds of them succeeding, I don't know what the number is, one in a million, one and two million.

[428] You add on coming from Australia, I hope you've had the moments.

[429] where you could take that in and go, my God, man, good on you.

[430] You fucking, you know, it's true.

[431] It's an incredible, an odds maker's not betting on Keith Urban from Australia, I don't think.

[432] Now, are you the type of person who you're forward -looking or you're so goal -oriented that it's hard for you to take stock of that?

[433] Or maybe even you feel like by acknowledging that, you'll jinx yourself.

[434] Or have you been able to enjoy that accomplishment?

[435] Probably a bit of all the above.

[436] I know when I got my first house in Nashville, when I got to buy my first house, which would have been mid -2000s, somewhere around there, 2004 or something, and I got to buy my first house ever, it was a pretty decent house, pretty bad -ass place.

[437] And I remember driving up the driveway one time looking at it and seeing, you know, you mean you look at a brick house, there's thousands of thousands of bricks in a brick house.

[438] And I remember looking at it going, every brick is a gig.

[439] Yeah.

[440] Every single brick is a gig.

[441] you know and i every time i saw that place that's what i thought about so it certainly makes it sweeter that it takes so long that is the weird unique thing though about our profession right is i went from one bedroom apartment for 10 years i had been in to same thing brick ranch and i'm like oh wow this is an enormous change like there wasn't the thousand square foot house and the 1500 square foothouse and the 3 000 it's just nothing and then uh room to park eight cars is wild yeah it was from rented, dilapidated crack houses pretty much, and that was the case for me, to that was very strange.

[442] But at the same time, you've also worked 30 odd years to get to that place or whatever it's been, 20 plus years to get to that place.

[443] And man, it's just a huge amount of luck and perseverance and timing.

[444] And, you know, the first time I went to Nashville, I took this really terrible demo.

[445] I thought it was a great demo.

[446] And I took it around all the record company.

[447] This is on a very, very early trip.

[448] Went back to Australia.

[449] I was waiting for all the office to come in and just crickets, you know?

[450] Already negotiating in your head.

[451] I'm going to hold out on this point.

[452] I'm going to hold out.

[453] And I look back and I just go, oh my God, it was the worst demo ever, just horrible.

[454] And I got one letter back from a woman called Mary Martin who was head of the A &R at RCA Records.

[455] she was so kind to take the time to write this letter back to me. And what I remember is she said, I enjoyed your tender thoughts or something around.

[456] She said, and she goes, but Contra Radio is in a traditional period right now.

[457] And your music is a little out of step.

[458] I hope you can come back here and find a good home.

[459] And it was really great advice in hindsight because she was basically just saying the timing is everything.

[460] And your music, this isn't what's happening.

[461] but it may be one day, who knows.

[462] So just come back here, start paying your dues and see if the pendulum swings to what you're doing.

[463] And it did, you know, albeit 10, 15 years later, ultimately.

[464] What was the turning point that leads to your first album?

[465] What happened?

[466] I had a little three -piece band, and we got signed to Warner Brothers Records.

[467] And we got dropped from that label, went over to Capitol Records, put out that album.

[468] It came and went.

[469] Band broke up.

[470] And I was trying to figure out.

[471] how to capture who I was in a studio and not sound like a karaoke singer.

[472] And every time I went in with session players and sang, I just sounded like a karaoke singer.

[473] I used to say I was sitting on the track instead of in the track.

[474] So I was working with all the sort of famous producers and nothing was working.

[475] And I said to the guy that's running my record company, can I just pick someone?

[476] And he's like, yeah, I mean, what have we got to lose?

[477] Nothing, right?

[478] and I chose this guy who was a session keyboard player called Matt Rawlings, and I went, why don't you and I do it?

[479] We'll put a band together and we'll pick the songs and we'll just go at it as musicians.

[480] And we went in and recorded five songs, took him to the label, and they went, oh, these sound great, do some more.

[481] So we went and did some more and finished the album, turned it in.

[482] And we didn't think that much of it, but they put the songs out.

[483] The first one did pretty good, and the second one did a little bit better.

[484] And the third one went to number one, and then we're off and running.

[485] But to the point earlier that I was saying, the beautiful, thing that happened because of all of that was the label then said, whatever you did last time, do that again for the next record.

[486] Oh, what a dream.

[487] And so I got to then choose my own producer, my own band, my own session, just take the reins.

[488] And I've been very, very fortunate to be able to do it with every album, and I'm still at the same label all these years later.

[489] Well, in the second album, then you produced seven of the tracks yourself.

[490] Do I have that, right?

[491] Yeah, yeah.

[492] Yeah.

[493] So the second album, that's when I kind of get aware of you musically on somebody like you, and it's mostly just because you played the shit out of the banjo, and it's so cool to see someone fucking rail the banjo.

[494] That's a hard instrument to learn, isn't it?

[495] Do you like the Avet Brothers?

[496] I'm obsessed with watching.

[497] I love those guys.

[498] Look, it's a six -string banjo, so it's total cheating.

[499] Oh, okay.

[500] I didn't know.

[501] I wish I could play a proper five -string, proper banjo, but it's all weird tuning, and there's a key halfway up the neck.

[502] I don't know what's going on.

[503] But when I was making the record with my band, in 1995, I had a song and I wanted this banjo part on it.

[504] This banter player came in and he was playing it.

[505] I'm like, no, no, no, like, ah.

[506] And he keeps handing me the banjo.

[507] Play me what you're going in your head.

[508] And I'm like, I can't play the bloody thing, but I can hear it.

[509] It was driving me nuts.

[510] And I left the studio.

[511] I remember it so vividly.

[512] I'm like, God, I wish they made a six -string banjo tuned like a guitar because then I'd know what to do.

[513] So I went through this guitar store and I walk in and I, and I, I kid you not, it's six -string banjos sitting there.

[514] I saw the six tuning pegs.

[515] I went, no way.

[516] And I'd pick it up and I strum it.

[517] And it's like tuned like a guitar.

[518] And I went, yes.

[519] It was like 900 bucks, which is like a grand more than I had.

[520] And so I put it on, you know, lay away.

[521] Went back to the studio the next day and I put this thing on this track.

[522] And it was crazy.

[523] It was like, it was the missing sound.

[524] Remember that bit in, you know, in the back of the future?

[525] He's like, yeah, this is your sound, man. You know, he puts the phone up, right?

[526] It was like that.

[527] It was like the missing link had been found.

[528] And I put it on that song, and then I put it on another song.

[529] It ended up being on most of that record.

[530] And then it's just been on most things I've done since in some way.

[531] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[532] What's up, guys?

[533] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[534] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[535] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest.

[536] Okay, every episode I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[537] And I don't mean just friends.

[538] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[539] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[540] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[541] We've all been there.

[542] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[543] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually not.

[544] nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[545] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[546] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[547] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[548] Each terrifying true story will be sure.

[549] to keep you up at night.

[550] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[551] Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon Music.

[552] Now, having to have some opportunities and then some heartbreak, after the first album's so successful and you get nominated for awards, you sell a ton of albums, you have number ones.

[553] On the next album, are you apprehensive?

[554] Are you like, I don't know, man, there's been so much heartbreak?

[555] Or did you know, like, oh, I found my thing and it's going to work?

[556] I think what happened was, you know, because I'm a live guy, because I grew up playing in the clubs, I just wanted to get out and play because the record was fairly produced intentionally.

[557] I was trying to get on country radio and make no apologies about it.

[558] I was trying to get on the radio.

[559] So I was, had a particular sound and everything in mind for that, made the record.

[560] But then when we hit the road, it got looser and wilder and stretched out more.

[561] And so when it came time to make the second record, I wanted to bring some of that back into the studio.

[562] Just a little more stubble, basically.

[563] Yeah.

[564] And so that's how the second record got just a little looser, and they really continued on from there.

[565] Yeah.

[566] I love people who have paid their dues, and the fact that you would regularly play at a water slide in Australia just makes me so happy.

[567] What's that from?

[568] Played a water slide.

[569] Did you play at like an amusement park when you were younger?

[570] Would you do like a...

[571] No?

[572] No. I'm going to sue the internet.

[573] I was in like a theater group when I was like seven, eight years old, and we would play shopping centers.

[574] So there was no outdoor live shows at an amusement park?

[575] No. Well, then you didn't pay your dues and you don't deserve any of this and I'm going to call the people to.

[576] Okay.

[577] See, yep.

[578] Be well, be well.

[579] Okay.

[580] Now, I want to share my personal discovery of you is really from American Idol.

[581] I knew who you were musically.

[582] I think I vaguely knew you were.

[583] Australian, but then when you started hosting that show, I kind of just fell in love with you as a personality.

[584] I thought you were so kind and you were so knowledgeable about music.

[585] And it just kind of blew my mind what an interesting person you were.

[586] Did you enjoy that experience getting to kind of just show your personality like that?

[587] Yeah, I did enjoy that.

[588] Because I've been on the other side of the desk a few times on singing competition TV things in Australia.

[589] And I know what it's like to be completely crushed and humiliated by a judge.

[590] And it's horrible.

[591] I was in a, I was on a show called Pot of Gold in Australia when I was about nine.

[592] And they had a really scathing judge named Bernard King.

[593] And he was just mean.

[594] And that's why they had him on the show.

[595] It's just brutal.

[596] And I sang a song and he said, I desperately encourage you to escape the mediocrity, get out of country and west in and get into some real music, and he said, otherwise you'll end up sounding like Dolly Parton and being absolutely useless, kindly learn to sing in tune.

[597] Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, and the reason I remember all of that is because my mum and dad recorded it with a little cassette player next to the TV speaker, so I could hear that critiquing over and over again.

[598] Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

[599] But what I remember from it was I paid no mind to everything that preceded the bit where he went, you're intrinsically a good musician.

[600] And I said, at my mom, what does intrinsically mean?

[601] And she said, she goes, well, he says that you're sort of inherently sort of a good musician.

[602] And I went, cool.

[603] Good for you.

[604] I just ignored the rest, you know.

[605] Okay, now explain this to me. This has always been something that I've always found very curious.

[606] So growing up here and listening to the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin and all these British bands, who when I hear them sing, they say.

[607] sound American.

[608] There's something about singing.

[609] They sound American and it's always kind of like a reveal that when I hear their British accent when they're talking.

[610] Explain that to me. And then of course it gets even more interesting that you're Australian and then when you sing, you have a very country and western kind of flow and it's you sound southern to me. Well, I mean, it's all to do with the music we grew up being indoctrinated by, for sure.

[611] I mean, all the blues cats in America influencing all the English guys.

[612] I used to get that question a lot.

[613] They're like, you know, how come you don't sing the way you talk, man?

[614] And, you know, the only example I could always give was I said, well, you know, the Beatles would say, here's a song called Kong by me love.

[615] And then they go, Campa Mila.

[616] Yeah.

[617] And you go, what happened to the cult?

[618] How did that become camped, you know?

[619] And it's just your heroes.

[620] You sort of, you assimilate all of that and sing the way you sing.

[621] and it's not conscious.

[622] I mean, when I sing, that's how it comes out.

[623] Well, I do think in country in particular, there's like a musicality to that accent, I guess.

[624] Yeah, it's a sing -songy kind of accent.

[625] Yeah, it's almost like a part of the music itself, that southern accent.

[626] Right.

[627] Yeah.

[628] It's very interesting.

[629] Now, I want to talk about your new album, which comes out September 18th, The Speed of Now Part 1.

[630] Right.

[631] Am I led to believe there'll be a part 2?

[632] Is part two already in the can?

[633] Not in the can, but I got a few songs for that one.

[634] I just ended up recording too many songs.

[635] When you're making a record sometimes, record way too many songs, and I'm not a fan of 25 song albums.

[636] And I was struggling to figure out which ones should be on this record, kind of like who gets to be in the lifeboat and who doesn't.

[637] Yeah.

[638] And I felt bad for the songs that didn't get to go in a lifeboat.

[639] So I just have two lifeboats.

[640] So that's how that came about.

[641] Now, you've been really prolific.

[642] I'm curious about your process.

[643] Like, how do you stay hungry?

[644] How do you stay motivated to keep creating?

[645] You have, I'm sure, a comfortable lifestyle, and you've got a family and a wife and all these things.

[646] So there's certainly a lot of temptation to just probably hang.

[647] So what keeps you on fire to create?

[648] Here's a weird thing.

[649] I don't feel really that much different to when I moved to Nashville.

[650] I really don't.

[651] I was talking to a guy here in town.

[652] the day about that.

[653] And I said, you know, I don't have any awards in my studio.

[654] It's completely blank.

[655] Every time I go in, I'm like, what the hell?

[656] How do we do this again?

[657] What, you know, it just feels every time I walk in, I've literally zero sense that I've ever done anything.

[658] None of it factors in.

[659] It doesn't come in with me. I don't think about it.

[660] Consequently, I don't feel any pressure, no expectation, nothing.

[661] I just come in blank slate.

[662] And he said, oh, you've got beginner's mind.

[663] And I said, what?

[664] And he goes, you've got beginners mind.

[665] That's how you approach things.

[666] And I've never heard that term before.

[667] but that's what I have.

[668] I have a beginner's mind.

[669] I come at things just completely fresh every single time with total curiosity.

[670] What does this button do?

[671] What happens if I put that over there?

[672] Does this work?

[673] That doesn't work.

[674] And it's just, I think it's really born of the fact that, and people forget this word, we play music.

[675] We play music.

[676] It's the first word.

[677] Whether you play drums, you play guitar, you play keyboards you go and play a gig you play it's fine and if you lose that first word you're just dead in the water you just are you know and yes there's times that it's work no question but you know maybe get a blister on your little finger hey working you know so i think i just i don't lose sight of the playfulness of it and have fun in the sandbox i think about this off i have a few different british friends who have families here in the U .S. So I'm imagining that your daughters, we both have two daughters, your daughters have American accents, right?

[678] I mean, they are Nashvilleians, right?

[679] Born and raised, Nashvilleans, yeah.

[680] Is that a trip?

[681] I try to imagine my daughter's having a British accent, and I feel like it would be really a trip.

[682] I'm not aware of it.

[683] It's just how they sound.

[684] They've sounded like that since they could talk, so I couldn't picture them any other way.

[685] And probably from living in Nashville for 27 years now, they sound like everybody.

[686] else they glen right in you're the only one that doesn't sound right yeah exactly so i am surrounded by um monica my wife two daughters we have a female dog what's it a dog do you have dax who fucking knows what that thing is right it's a rescue rat it looks like a you know i don't golf but i've been enough times to see the rag that's on a golf bag that people clean their clubs with over and over again.

[687] She deeply resembles that golf ride.

[688] She's not the cutest.

[689] She's got one eye.

[690] She's a cyclops.

[691] What's her name?

[692] Barb Barbara Biscuits.

[693] Barbara.

[694] Taffy was her original name.

[695] Taffodil.

[696] She's got a lot of names.

[697] We describe her spine as curvy if that tells you anything.

[698] She's shaped like a camel with scoliosis.

[699] And she's a cyclops.

[700] Do you love being around that much femininity and female energy?

[701] Apparently.

[702] Apparently.

[703] I grew up me and my brother, mom and dad, no sisters, but somehow I just fit right in to this family.

[704] And yeah, it's all female.

[705] It's crazy.

[706] We have a male dog, so that's yang to the inn a little bit and balance things out.

[707] But I think because I had a band and get out in the road with the boys and I got that covered.

[708] It's sort of like my team, my football team, you know, and there's a good balance in coming home.

[709] And I love it.

[710] I love it.

[711] Yeah, I deeply love it, and yet I go to work on a car show I'm on, and it's all dudes, and it's all cars all the time.

[712] And I'm like, oh, yeah, this also feels quite nice.

[713] I can be very reckless with how I communicate, and it doesn't seem to offend anyone.

[714] Yeah, not go too deep.

[715] I can be very direct and no one's crying.

[716] I like that.

[717] I'll be talking to somebody, you know, about something, you know, one of my friends has got some medical issue or something.

[718] And Nick would be like, oh, what's wrong with him?

[719] I'm like, I don't know.

[720] he's going to hospital what's he going to what's he going to hospital for I'm like I didn't know I didn't ask him oh my god I don't know he's in the hospital you know he's not going there because it's his birthday that's enough for me i know he gets that next Thursday day that's all I know it's all good yeah but I'm often grateful that I have two daughters because I don't have to be involved in that father's son thing that was very complicated for me and my dad and the notion of like having to toughen a kid up or make all these things i just feel this great sense of relief that i don't have to do any of that i love having little girls and just being sweet with them and you know uh playing dolls and imagination and all this stuff right would it be hard for you to have a son i guess i'll never know i think i would have been okay with a boy i mean you get what you're meant to get right but i think i would have been all right with a boy I learned a lot, we all do, right, from our parents of what to do, what not to do, all the rest of it.

[721] There was a documentary recently that came out.

[722] It was two fathers and two sons from two different backgrounds who had boxing sons.

[723] They raised their kids up in the boxing ring and the two different styles of fathering and the outcomes of those two.

[724] I can't remember the name of it.

[725] It was a really good documentary.

[726] One of the kid kind of went the way of dad who had been convicted and selling drugs a whole bit.

[727] And he sort of, dad had gotten his life together.

[728] And then the kid went the same route, back in prison and the whole thing.

[729] And there was a great moment when the dad was like, what the hell's wrong with you?

[730] And he goes, I want to be like you.

[731] He goes, don't be like me. Be better than me. You're meant to be better than I am.

[732] And I was like, oh, my God, I've never heard a father say that.

[733] It was literally like, you are literally meant to be better than me. If you're not, I haven't done my job right.

[734] And I was like, man, hit me like a ton of bricks.

[735] Yeah.

[736] Yeah, that's heartbreaking.

[737] Well, if you remember the name of that, we are documentary junkies.

[738] And I got a boner just hearing there was one we had not seen yet.

[739] Ringside.

[740] That's it.

[741] Oh, ringside.

[742] And we got to watch that.

[743] It just occurred to me that Rob listens.

[744] I felt kind of like someone was eavesdropping.

[745] Thank you, Rob.

[746] But also I felt a little bit like, oh, there's someone listening.

[747] Ringside.

[748] Okay, we're going to check that out.

[749] Yeah.

[750] Can I ask for, I'll all start.

[751] I'll say I met Kristen.

[752] And for the first time in my life, I think I approached.

[753] it with a different set of criteria I was looking for.

[754] I think I led with, I want someone that's going to be a great mom.

[755] I had different priorities at that time, for whatever reason, my age or being three years sober, whatever it was.

[756] But what is it about Nick that worked?

[757] One of the more successful relationships in show business at 15 years.

[758] So I'm curious what it was about her that you rose to the occasion for.

[759] That's what happened.

[760] Definitely.

[761] She's just, the one.

[762] That was it.

[763] She's the one that I was searching for my whole life and everything not only changed but had to change in me if I was going to go that road.

[764] It felt like an ultimate fork in the road moment in my life and it was literally like you either get this right now or you are never ever going to get it right.

[765] This is your one shot.

[766] It was really it felt so obvious and I knew where I was going.

[767] I was going into the light finally.

[768] It was everything I was looking for and then some.

[769] I mean, beyond, just beyond, you know.

[770] I've had my, you know, over 13 years now, I've gotten really comfortable with certain aspects, but some of them were challenging for me as like a generic dude from the Midwest who had ideas of what things were supposed to be like.

[771] And one of them being, well, I should make more money than my wife.

[772] I should be the provider.

[773] I felt emasculated for some years that she made more money than me. Or that we go to a party and.

[774] more people remember her or, you know, there's certainly some potential ego traps with being married to someone as successful as our wives are.

[775] Has that been easy for you to navigate?

[776] Yeah.

[777] Yeah, because it's only one of the things that is being brought home to contribute to the family.

[778] It's a big one, but there is so many other things that I can bring that help and blossom the family and protect it and take care of it and grow it, not just fiscally.

[779] So I bring everything I can, most of the time, right?

[780] I mean, yeah, I have to be brutally honest.

[781] It's like, you know, someone said, you know, I mean, you're in recovery.

[782] It's like, people go, I work this program for the best of my ability.

[783] You're like, probably not.

[784] You probably work this program the best of your willingness.

[785] Yeah, or the 1 % more than I have to.

[786] Or 0 % more than I have to.

[787] There's a song on my album called Better Than I Am, which touches upon a lot of these things.

[788] And there's a line in there in the second verse that talks about, it's more a truce, less a surrender.

[789] It's more a giving, giving more than I want to give.

[790] And that's what it takes.

[791] It takes me giving more than I want to give to actually live this life that I was trying to find.

[792] I just was never giving enough, ever.

[793] Yeah, I'm the epitome of the softer, kinder way.

[794] I was looking for like, okay, I like eight of these steps.

[795] I'm totally into eight of these steps, but the God thing, I don't know if I can go down that road.

[796] And I certainly tried incrementally like, okay, this time I'm going to try nine of the steps, this time I'm going to try 10 of the steps.

[797] And I had probably 25 spectacular relapses and each time going back going, all right, I'm going to do a little bit more.

[798] And then fucking lucky somehow the last time through, I did what I would argue is probably 0 .01 % more than was required of me. And it works.

[799] I always had an issue with people saying, oh, you're doing the same thing, expecting different I said, it's not quite the same.

[800] Just a sliver a bit different.

[801] And I'd be like, well, you're splitting hairs here.

[802] And I go, yeah, but it's not the same.

[803] You know, and that's the absurdity of it.

[804] I used to say it's like a trillion number combination lock.

[805] And I'm seeing if it unlocks, nope.

[806] And I move one number out of a trillion and then try it again.

[807] I go see, it's different.

[808] You know, it's absurd.

[809] I have great gratitude that my using got me into recovery.

[810] It was.

[811] was worth it for me. It ended up changing some things.

[812] My life would be half as joy filled.

[813] I'd be half present for people.

[814] Learning to be honest with myself is it was almost unimaginable for a long, long time.

[815] Have you come to be grateful that you ended up on the path you're on?

[816] Oh, every day.

[817] That's not hyperbole.

[818] That is legit.

[819] Literally every day.

[820] I may not act it sometimes because I'm just human.

[821] Yeah.

[822] But I make amends really quick.

[823] That's changed my life in a big way.

[824] I was phone with somebody yesterday.

[825] And I'd had a long day.

[826] It's a bit stressed.

[827] And I was a bit edgy.

[828] And I got off the phone a bit abruptly.

[829] And I'm like, what an asshole.

[830] I shouldn't have done that.

[831] And I called the person right back.

[832] And I just said, I'm sorry for that.

[833] I just had a crap day.

[834] Wasn't you.

[835] I'm sorry that I spoke that way.

[836] I just had to say that.

[837] I didn't want to get off the phone.

[838] And they went, oh, thank you.

[839] And I felt better.

[840] And they felt better.

[841] And it was like, God, that wasn't so hard.

[842] Just do that a little more in my life.

[843] But what I will say about recovery for me, in The guitar world, certain guitars, there's so much stress on the headstock where the strings are, that a lot of the times that headstock snaps off.

[844] You drop the guitar and that thing snaps off.

[845] And you got to glue it back on.

[846] And more often than not, those guitars that have had that thing glued back on are stronger and sound better than they did before they got broken.

[847] And that is the metaphor for recovery.

[848] It's really true.

[849] I really think a person in recovery, has a strength that they didn't have, that they were naturally born without it and they're actually stronger for the break.

[850] Yeah.

[851] Now, speaking of amends, because I will say there are things I do shitty in this program and there are things that I'm good at.

[852] And one is I do make a lot of those phone calls you're talking about.

[853] And I'm curious, what has occurred to me over the years of making those phone calls is people are often so shocked.

[854] And what I realize while I'm apologizing is they haven't been apologized to for maybe a decade.

[855] And I start realizing, oh, this is something that people just generally aren't doing.

[856] This person's real, I can tell they're receiving their first apology in a long, long time.

[857] Right.

[858] And you kind of get aware of like, oh, man, yeah, that's one aspect.

[859] I kind of wish everyone got to participate in, you know, without having to become a drunk to do it, is just cleaning up your side of the street before you go to bed.

[860] As best as you can.

[861] Yeah.

[862] It's a better way to be.

[863] I know that much.

[864] And you're right.

[865] I think some people are shocked.

[866] What the hell?

[867] There's a song on my new album called Say Something, which is on one level about speaking up about things you believe in and not staying silent.

[868] And there's plenty of those kinds of causes and situations.

[869] But the song also touches upon things I wished I'd said to maybe my family, my dad, people I didn't get to say sorry to before they drifted out of my life or someone I didn't say, I love you to, and then they died or whatever.

[870] And so there's other times in my life, I wish I'd said something.

[871] something because I mean we didn't have any intimacy in our family when we were growing up like none zero so we didn't say anything nobody said anything and you have to you have to say stuff we say stuff in our family all the time now with nick and the girls we talk about things and it makes for a way better life because of it were you nervous at all having not had that once you had kids of like oh man I'm going to have to try to break this cycle or did it just come easy for you my mom was all of that.

[872] Very affectionate, really just divine from that standpoint, from an affectionate standpoint, telling us she loves us and all that.

[873] And the classic story.

[874] My dad did too in his own way.

[875] Well, he clearly showed up for you, right?

[876] I mean, that's one aspect, right?

[877] He helped make your costumes and stuff.

[878] Yeah, and he's just alcoholic.

[879] He wasn't a bad guy.

[880] He was just alcoholic and was dealing with the way he was raised, like we all are.

[881] You can't teach what you don't know.

[882] Well, you haven't been told.

[883] You haven't learned.

[884] You can't teach you.

[885] to your kids.

[886] But between the two of them, we ended up with a decent life.

[887] They stayed married all the way until my father passed away.

[888] And we always had a roof over ahead.

[889] It might have been a piece of shit, but it always had a roof over I had.

[890] Well done.

[891] Might have been sharing a roof with the convenience store, but it was roof nonetheless.

[892] Exactly.

[893] Now, when you say you have beginner's mind, knowing that you have that, when you do the speed of now, are you trying to head somewhere?

[894] Is there a goal in mind?

[895] There's a connection between pretty much everything.

[896] And certainly in music, there's a through line and threads that connect everything together.

[897] And I'm really driven by those kinds of things.

[898] You know, you hear something over here and you go, oh, right, that actually connects over there and that.

[899] And there's something about continuing to seek out those things that go together.

[900] I always use an analogy, and it's probably a terrible one, but I can't cook.

[901] I suck at cooking.

[902] It's something I wish I was really good at.

[903] One of the many things I could have learned in lockdown, didn't do jack shit.

[904] But like a great chef will bring all these ingredients from exotic faraway places into the kitchen and then start tinkering and seeing what works, what doesn't, and getting combinations right.

[905] That's what I do in the studio.

[906] I just bring all these unusual ingredients in and see what works, what doesn't tinker and mess around with mixtures and combinations.

[907] That's what I do.

[908] That's what keeps me eternally interested because it's infinite.

[909] There's so much stuff out there to fuse together and see what works and what doesn't work.

[910] You have an alchemist's approach to it?

[911] Very much.

[912] Yeah.

[913] Do you keep, like, voice memos?

[914] Like, as you're moving through the world, do you, like, hear something or how do you keep track of your inspiration?

[915] Yeah, voice memos.

[916] I shazam all the time.

[917] I'm the annoying guy standing on a table at a restaurant trying to get a little bit closer to the speaker in the ceiling because there's something in this ambient music that's interesting and I want to know who the artist is.

[918] And I'm sure it'll be some French person I can't even pronounce.

[919] they always are.

[920] And I had got this obscure playlist because of shazamming all the time.

[921] Oh, really?

[922] And then you bring all these things in to a writing session.

[923] And they're like, where in the hell did you find that song?

[924] I'm like, oh, I was in a cab in like Paris and I was.

[925] I was trying to ask the driver who the artist was and he only spoke French.

[926] You shazam it and you taggle this shit and it's changed my life.

[927] Fantastic.

[928] Yeah.

[929] That's a great tool.

[930] Who do you find currently very inspirational musically.

[931] It's sometimes a mix of things.

[932] There's some really cool stuff on the Weekends record that I love.

[933] Really cool things on Dual Leafers record that I love.

[934] The way they sort of, she filters all the 80s stuff, the way he does it too, but sort of makes it mod and futuristic, even though it's obviously filtering all that 80 stuff.

[935] It's really cool.

[936] There's some tracks on the Chicks record that Jack Antonoff did, and I love him as a producer.

[937] He's just got a great sonic quirk to him.

[938] It's very, very cool.

[939] Breelin, a guy who I collaborated with on my record, is another really interesting artist doing some really cool fusing of things.

[940] It's really interesting.

[941] Have you come across Jack White down there?

[942] Oh, yeah.

[943] Of course, yeah.

[944] Yeah, he seems like a really interesting synthesizer of weird different inputs.

[945] I mean, a genuine, eccentric Renaissance man, and incredibly talented in multiple directions.

[946] Crazy.

[947] Did you watch it may get loud that document?

[948] Yeah.

[949] Oh yeah.

[950] Yeah.

[951] When he's building the little slide thing, it's fantastic.

[952] Yeah.

[953] And then when he goes and plays with Jimmy Page, I was like, oh, this guy's a force of nature.

[954] He's sitting with two people that are legendary.

[955] And he is a just a fucking volcano of ideas and passion.

[956] Yeah, we went to his house for dinner one night.

[957] And he had all these photo booths from the 20s and 30s, like several of them.

[958] And I'm like, what the hell?

[959] And they're all just sort of dismantled.

[960] And I'm like, what?

[961] What are.

[962] And they're all just sort of dismantled.

[963] And I'm like, what?

[964] what are these and he goes i rebuild those of course you do of course that's what you would do when he's not refurbishing covered bridges on his property or something no and he has his whole upholstery thing out in the backyard it's got its whole shed where he does upholstery work he's done that for years and years but rebuilding these things are complicated they're complicated complex mechanisms in these photo booths and it's insane he's crazy gifted great guitar player Well, I listened to The Speed of Now today, and I really, really, really liked it.

[965] And I will say that it's funny now to talk to you and hear about the process because I was hearing all this different stuff.

[966] It's so alive.

[967] There's so many different things happening.

[968] And it's not straight up the middle.

[969] And I really appreciate that.

[970] I enjoy trying to figure out what that connective tissue is.

[971] It makes you participate in a way that I really like.

[972] I think it's wonderful.

[973] So fantastic job.

[974] Thank you.

[975] I just think it's good when you can shed some of those labels and prejudices and expectations for anything and just let it find you.

[976] All art, really, movies, photography, sculptors, everything.

[977] Just let it find you without any preconceived labeling.

[978] It's a much better way to make a connection with art. Yeah.

[979] Well, listen, you're a joy.

[980] I really appreciate you finding the time for us.

[981] Really appreciate you being on the show.

[982] And I pray I'll bump into you in Nashville.

[983] By God, do I love it down there.

[984] And I'd love to go work on some photos.

[985] photo booths over at Jack's house.

[986] Three of us do some daguerreotypes.

[987] Yes, that would be fun.

[988] All right, well, enjoy your time down there in Australia and love to your family.

[989] Likewise.

[990] I'm glad we're on the same path, brother.

[991] Indeed, we are a day at a time, man. You got it.

[992] Thank you, guys.

[993] Take care, Keith.

[994] Bye now.

[995] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[996] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my Soulmate Monica Padman.

[997] You're in charge.

[998] I'm in charge.

[999] You're the boss.

[1000] Two days in a row, you and I have had some symmetry in our outfits, which is yesterday I was wearing a pink top and you were wearing pink bottoms.

[1001] And pink top.

[1002] I was all pink yesterday.

[1003] You were all pink, but that doesn't serve my point very much to say you were all pink.

[1004] Okay.

[1005] But certainly I had a pink top and you did have pink bottoms.

[1006] You also had a pink top.

[1007] And then today you have yellow bottoms and I have a yellow top.

[1008] That's true.

[1009] And that just feels fortuitous.

[1010] We're color coordinated.

[1011] We might win the lottery this weekend.

[1012] Should we play?

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] Powerball?

[1015] Yeah, will you buy me some tickets?

[1016] Yeah, absolutely.

[1017] And I'll buy you some tickets.

[1018] Oh, that's good.

[1019] Yeah, because you can't win if you buy your own tickets.

[1020] Everyone knows that.

[1021] Yeah, everyone is too selfish.

[1022] Yeah, it's too selfish.

[1023] Now, what would you do if you want?

[1024] How much?

[1025] 400 million.

[1026] Four hundred million?

[1027] Sometimes that Powerball is in the like hundreds and hundreds of millions.

[1028] You know that, right?

[1029] It's regularly at like 400 million.

[1030] What?

[1031] Yeah.

[1032] Okay.

[1033] I won.

[1034] Yeah.

[1035] I would make my house spectacular.

[1036] Okay.

[1037] You'd stay in the same house, though.

[1038] The one I just bought?

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] Yeah.

[1041] I think you should.

[1042] I just don't get mad.

[1043] I'm mad.

[1044] You could live anywhere on the planet with 400 million.

[1045] That's all I'm saying.

[1046] No, I'm going to stay in the house I bought.

[1047] I'm just going to make it spectacular.

[1048] Yeah.

[1049] And then I'm maybe going to buy a new car.

[1050] Uh -huh.

[1051] What are you going to buy?

[1052] Mercedes.

[1053] A white mercedes?

[1054] A white Mercedes.

[1055] What color?

[1056] A white Mercedes.

[1057] And then I'm going to...

[1058] This already all sucks because you could already do all this, but continue.

[1059] Then I'm going to buy my parents a house.

[1060] Okay.

[1061] Here.

[1062] Oh, good.

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] Well, how about Santa Barbara?

[1065] Actually, yeah, it wouldn't make sense for them to have a house here because they'll stay in my house.

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] So let's put them up in Santa Barbara because it reminds them so much of India.

[1068] Okay.

[1069] For obvious reasons.

[1070] I won't even go into why.

[1071] It's too obvious.

[1072] Okay, so I'll buy them a house in Santa Barbara.

[1073] I'm not going to give my brother any money.

[1074] Okay.

[1075] Well, it's harsh, harsh.

[1076] And I think that's all.

[1077] That's all.

[1078] Great.

[1079] Then I just save and then I'll feel comfy the rest of my life.

[1080] Yeah.

[1081] I would love that.

[1082] That's all I want.

[1083] Is to stop working and hang?

[1084] No, I'll still work.

[1085] Oh, okay, good.

[1086] Of course still work.

[1087] Then what all you want?

[1088] You just want to buy your parents a house?

[1089] No, I just want to feel safe.

[1090] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1091] So I would like to have like 200.

[1092] million.

[1093] If I had 200, if I had 100, well, let's say, 200 millions, 200 millions gone from taxes.

[1094] Okay.

[1095] Okay.

[1096] So it's not a very fun fantasy that we're taking taxes out, but fine.

[1097] No, this is the reality.

[1098] Okay.

[1099] 200 million goes out for taxes.

[1100] To buy a 120th of those stupid fucking airplanes.

[1101] What airplanes?

[1102] There's a fighter jet that's like a billion dollars per thing.

[1103] It has no purpose.

[1104] I wish I could tell them my 200 can't go to that.

[1105] That's what bums me out is you got no sad.

[1106] My 200 goes to education.

[1107] Okay, good.

[1108] Okay.

[1109] So then 200 left and then the house, the parents' house.

[1110] So 190 left.

[1111] So 190 left.

[1112] Yeah.

[1113] Yeah.

[1114] Yeah, that's great.

[1115] And then I could just invest it.

[1116] I would just keep 100.

[1117] Okay.

[1118] It's like really safe, like in a CD.

[1119] Yeah, a bond.

[1120] And then 90 I could play with a little.

[1121] Okay.

[1122] See if you can't turn into 99.

[1123] Yeah.

[1124] But if I knew that I always had $100 million.

[1125] I would feel great.

[1126] So I agree with you, but I do promise you that you'll live long enough where $100 million is going to seem like $4 million.

[1127] I just know because I watch all these 30 for 30s.

[1128] No, it depends on how you're living.

[1129] The biggest athletes in the world in the early 80s made a million a year.

[1130] Yeah.

[1131] Which was the equivalent.

[1132] These football players are sending like $100 million contracts now.

[1133] Yeah.

[1134] And so what you have to say is like, oh, what happened to them is going to happen to us.

[1135] You think about making a million last since from in 1982 to 2020, 40 years?

[1136] No, I'll still work.

[1137] Okay.

[1138] I'm still going to work and make money.

[1139] I'm just going to have that there in case I need it.

[1140] I'm just saying that we're...

[1141] I probably won't live long enough, but you will live long enough to see a moment where $100 million is like a good amount of money, which is crazy.

[1142] It depends on how you spend.

[1143] I mean, and who you are.

[1144] Like Bill Gates, I didn't ask him, but I should have.

[1145] of like $100 million, it's like, sure.

[1146] Yeah.

[1147] That's great.

[1148] But to most people on earth, that's an insane amount of money.

[1149] That's not my point.

[1150] Today, it's an obscene amount of money to everybody.

[1151] My point is that when you're 90 in 60 years, it's going to be shocking how much it's changed.

[1152] That's all I'm saying.

[1153] That $100 million in 60 years from now is probably going to be the equivalent of like $3 million today, which is the crazy aspect of inflation.

[1154] Yeah.

[1155] That's true.

[1156] That's all I'm trying to say.

[1157] It's still going to be a big enough number that most people won't have it.

[1158] I agree.

[1159] But I just know that even growing up, people talked about millionaires.

[1160] Like people wanted to grow up and be a millionaire.

[1161] They still do.

[1162] I'm not out to lunch.

[1163] I know that.

[1164] Okay.

[1165] But what I'm saying is that's not what's in the news now.

[1166] What's in the news, you're not in the news for having money unless you have a billion.

[1167] That changed in my lifetime.

[1168] That's all I'm saying.

[1169] Like in the 80s, they talk about someone having a 90s.

[1170] million dollars.

[1171] And it was the same as us talking about Bezos having like a hundred billion.

[1172] And it's just crazy to me that in my own lifetime that's changed so much.

[1173] That makes sense.

[1174] That like unless you have a billion, you're not even newsworthy.

[1175] That's crazy.

[1176] Right.

[1177] Right.

[1178] You're not newsworthy at a billion, to be honest.

[1179] I hate to break it to everyone out there with a billion dollars.

[1180] That's not true.

[1181] If I know somebody, if I hear somebody has a billion dollars, I can't wrap my head around a billion dollars.

[1182] Well, it's 10, 100 millions.

[1183] Okay.

[1184] Thanks.

[1185] What would you do with it?

[1186] I would buy your parents a house in Santa Barbara.

[1187] I'd redo your house spectacularly.

[1188] Thank you.

[1189] I'd give your brother $2 million.

[1190] I'd steal it from him.

[1191] Mine aren't good.

[1192] And this just came up in someone we interviewed yesterday, this weird predicament where if you grew up in the 80s, you bought into a promise.

[1193] And the promise now has changed.

[1194] And it's a little bit of a bummer.

[1195] Not that anyone, I don't feel bad for my.

[1196] myself, but I grew up in an era before global warming, global warning, and the entire reason I entered the workforce was to get cars.

[1197] Yeah.

[1198] That's the only reason I got a job.

[1199] I wanted to get a Mustang, and I got one for working my ass off.

[1200] And I largely work currently to buy cars, and they're all killing the planet.

[1201] And that really piss me up because what I would like to, the true, what I really want to do with $400 million is buy an airplane.

[1202] And I want to zip around the goddamn world all the time.

[1203] I want to be like, I'm in the mood to get a baguette in Paris.

[1204] And then I'm there.

[1205] And then I'm like, because that, to me, feels like teleporting, like a magic.

[1206] Like, ooh, sushi tonight.

[1207] You with me, Monica?

[1208] Hop on the jet.

[1209] Well.

[1210] And it's just a drag that the thing I dreamed about, you just really ethically can't even do now.

[1211] Yeah.

[1212] And I feel a little betrayed by that.

[1213] Well, why don't you put your money into teleport invention?

[1214] Okay.

[1215] Okay.

[1216] So that you could still maybe get what you want through teleportation.

[1217] that's not bad for the planet.

[1218] Or flu powder, that's a way to travel in Harry Potter.

[1219] Oh, okay.

[1220] Yeah.

[1221] What if I, I think more possible than teleporting being a reality in my lifetime?

[1222] What if I invent a bag you put over the engines on the airplane?

[1223] Okay.

[1224] And then the bag catches all of the bad stuff.

[1225] Okay.

[1226] And then when you land in Paris before you have your baguette, you take the bag off and then you put it in this thing that makes a lot of pressure and it turns it into diamonds.

[1227] Oh my gosh.

[1228] It takes all the carbon and then it crunches it into diamonds.

[1229] That's good.

[1230] That'd be good.

[1231] Okay.

[1232] And then I could guilt -free zip all over the place.

[1233] Yeah, but what about like just small planes?

[1234] Like, they're kind of scary.

[1235] No, they're safer.

[1236] I don't know.

[1237] They're all safe as fuck.

[1238] Well, no, not the single engine ones, but the dual engine jets, like a G5, a G650.

[1239] Those things are as safe as a commercial airliner because they have an extra engine.

[1240] So if one blows, they can still stay in the air.

[1241] They also fly at a much higher altitude and it's much smoother up there.

[1242] less turbulence.

[1243] Another reason I should have a jet with my mega, megabucks, millions.

[1244] Okay.

[1245] You're just going to put money into inventions.

[1246] Okay.

[1247] And maybe a jet pack invention as well.

[1248] Okay.

[1249] I forgot a big part.

[1250] I'm going to give a lot to charity.

[1251] Oh, okay.

[1252] I forgot to say that.

[1253] Yeah.

[1254] I don't want to say how much.

[1255] Okay.

[1256] Because I don't want to sound.

[1257] You don't want to paint yourself into a corner.

[1258] I don't want a virtue signal.

[1259] Oh, yeah.

[1260] Don't virtue signal.

[1261] Yeah.

[1262] But I will, I will be giving a, a large proportion to chair.

[1263] Okay, let's roll play one more time.

[1264] Tell me I've just won the Mega Millions.

[1265] Congratulations.

[1266] You've just won the Mega Millions, 400 million.

[1267] 400 million.

[1268] That's right.

[1269] How much is that after taxes?

[1270] 200.

[1271] Oh, my God.

[1272] Do you know what I'm going to do?

[1273] What?

[1274] I'm going to give 210 million to charity.

[1275] Oh, what a good person you are.

[1276] So winning the Mega Millions.

[1277] A climate change.

[1278] Yeah, I had to go into debt to win Mega Millions.

[1279] Oh boy.

[1280] Okay, we got to talk about something.

[1281] So, Keith, so you had a snafu in this episode.

[1282] Oh, big, big time.

[1283] It's cut out.

[1284] Okay.

[1285] But we'll explain it.

[1286] Okay, great.

[1287] And hopefully he's listening because he didn't give me his phone number and I'd love to apologize to him.

[1288] But he said something.

[1289] He said like, no whining on the yacht, which is a great thing.

[1290] He's basically saying, like, I'm not going to bitch about being stuck in a nice house during COVID or something like that.

[1291] Like he was acknowledging his great privilege.

[1292] So it was a really nice thing he did.

[1293] And then I said, yeah, that's kind of like Tom Cruise.

[1294] He's smart in that he's always in public walks the walk.

[1295] Like everyone thinks he has the best life in the world.

[1296] So by God, every interview he is smiling ear to ear and he lets you believe he is.

[1297] Well, Tom Cruise has diarrhea like everyone else.

[1298] He gets food poisoning, his fucking feet hurt.

[1299] He's at a bunch of stunts.

[1300] He's in pain a bunch.

[1301] You know, his life sucks sometimes.

[1302] But he's smart enough to never let anyone in on that.

[1303] Right.

[1304] And so I brought all that up, not at all remembering that he was married to Keith's current wife.

[1305] Nicole Kidman, yes.

[1306] Very public marriage, incredibly obvious to avoid.

[1307] And I didn't even think about that.

[1308] And he was very chill and just rolled right through it.

[1309] And then after we hung up with Keith, Monica was like, a pretty big swing there, bringing up Tom Cruise in such a fashion.

[1310] And I was like, why?

[1311] She's like, he was married, and I was like, oh my gosh, that's right.

[1312] That's textbook me. In the middle of the interview, I had to text Rob, and I was like, oh, my God.

[1313] I can't believe you text Rob behind my back when I step in it.

[1314] Actually, I don't think I've ever done it until now because I had to communicate with someone immediately that that was crazy.

[1315] Yeah, you had to share in the embarrassment for me. Well, God bless him, he did not indicate in any way that had made him uncomfortable, so I didn't even notice anything.

[1316] But in retrospect, if I were him, and I assumed I did know exactly what I was doing, I would be on guard the rest of the interview.

[1317] Like, what is this guy's fucking with me. So the fact that he was open and everything, I just want to applaud him.

[1318] And I want to publicly apologize that I didn't even think of that or remember that.

[1319] I don't, I'm not super hip to who's married to who, shockingly.

[1320] I mean, I've never bought like tabloids and stuff.

[1321] Of course, I'm not dumb.

[1322] I know who's, once you said it, I was like, oh, duh, right.

[1323] I mean, it was like just such a big public marriage.

[1324] Yeah, yeah.

[1325] Anyway, that wasn't oopsies.

[1326] To be honest, it's pretty shocking.

[1327] It took that many episodes for me to do something like that.

[1328] Because that's kind of what I, that's specializes.

[1329] Put your finger out.

[1330] Yes.

[1331] And as anyone who's attended any kind of Hollywood function, it comes with a great risk because I say stuff like that all the time.

[1332] Oh, man. Oops.

[1333] Oops.

[1334] Oops.

[1335] Oops.

[1336] Oopsies.

[1337] Oopsies.

[1338] Okay.

[1339] So we don't have very many facts today.

[1340] Okay.

[1341] But Keith asked his mom what the word intrinsically means after a judge at the singing competition told him that he was intrinsically a good musician.

[1342] And what does it mean?

[1343] It means in an essential or natural way.

[1344] Ah, you're intrinsically athletic.

[1345] No, I'm not.

[1346] Not at all.

[1347] That's a story you like to tell yourself.

[1348] No, it is.

[1349] Because it makes your accomplishments that much bigger you have a lead muscle mass you know well i have a lead muscle mass but i do not have an intrinsic athletic ability and that's not a story i tell myself i'm telling you it's not true what could be more intrinsic than having it in your DNA well that's the apex of intrinsic i don't want to admit this okay but i don't think i have a lead muscle mass even though it was told to me by genetic tests that i do I'm skeptical.

[1350] Okay.

[1351] Look at my muscles.

[1352] They're so small.

[1353] No, they're strong.

[1354] They're elite and their muscle and they're mass. Okay.

[1355] In that case, I do have it.

[1356] You thought that Keith played out a water slide when he was a kid in Australia.

[1357] A water park, yeah.

[1358] And he said he didn't.

[1359] And then you said you were going to sue the internet.

[1360] It does say on Wikipedia.

[1361] Don't say I use Wikipedia.

[1362] Well, you do.

[1363] You do?

[1364] No. No, no. It's that I don't use Wikipedia.

[1365] I know, I know, I know.

[1366] See, whoever got so mad at me for using Wikipedia.

[1367] Why don't you get mad at Dax?

[1368] He uses Wikipedia, too.

[1369] I use that shit out of it.

[1370] Yeah.

[1371] That's what it's for.

[1372] I go to Wikipedia because I always get to find out their early childhood.

[1373] That's the thing I'm most interested.

[1374] It doesn't really exist many other places.

[1375] So that's what I love about Wikipedia.

[1376] I also pay for Wikipedia.

[1377] I want to pat myself on the back.

[1378] That is good.

[1379] And then I look for interviews with them.

[1380] That's probably my favorite way to research a guess, to see how they respond to certain kind of course.

[1381] questions.

[1382] See what's like makes them uncomfortable or they're happy to talk about.

[1383] And then I like, if I can, I like to watch a bunch interviews.

[1384] Yeah.

[1385] But on Wikipedia, it says, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1386] Urban performed regularly on stage at the Northern Suburbs County Music Club in Bald Hills, where he was a member.

[1387] He was in a band called Kids Country that performed during school holidays at various venues.

[1388] They made appearances on the Reg Lindsay Show and Conway Country.

[1389] He also teamed up with Angie Marquis, Tony Black, Peter Black, and Tina Ruin in a teen rock band that performed during the summer holidays at the local waterslide and theme park.

[1390] It does say that.

[1391] Wikipedia, lawyer up.

[1392] Yeah.

[1393] I'm coming for you.

[1394] Maybe you should just stop paying.

[1395] No, I'm still going to pay and I'm going to sue.

[1396] I'm only going to sue for the amount of money I've given them.

[1397] Okay, that's my.

[1398] Or, you know, you could use some of your $200 million to, like, really take them to the cleaners.

[1399] Well, I'll need to because I'm $10 million in debt for my charitable.

[1400] bold contributions.

[1401] You're right.

[1402] You're right.

[1403] A philanthropic endeavors.

[1404] What's your cause?

[1405] Well, of course, I believe in treatment centers.

[1406] Yeah.

[1407] I believe in Planned Parenthood.

[1408] I think teens with really restrictive parents need a safe place to go make plans for being sexual.

[1409] Yeah.

[1410] I know that's a polarizing one, but I know that I do think people need that.

[1411] Yeah.

[1412] And maybe the prostate cancer foundation.

[1413] Yeah, you already give to that.

[1414] Color of Change.

[1415] I'll throw them a little cheddar.

[1416] Yeah.

[1417] I'll just spread it around, you know.

[1418] Yeah, that's good.

[1419] Well, and you know, for years I've been attending and even hosting the gala for Ferraris for all Americans, which is a really important cause, I believe in.

[1420] FAA.

[1421] What is it?

[1422] Well, it's the belief that all people are entitled to a Ferrari in America.

[1423] Oh, my God.

[1424] That is powerful.

[1425] Yeah.

[1426] Can you imagine what the mood everyone would be in if they drove a Ferrari everywhere?

[1427] That is so lovely.

[1428] I'm so glad you're devoting some time and energy and money to.

[1429] that.

[1430] Well, a lot of people think I'm just, I'm supporting the Federal Aviation Committee or whatever, FAA.

[1431] Yeah.

[1432] But it's Ferrari for all FFAA.

[1433] So please contribute to the FFAA.

[1434] Whoa, whoa, Bader Meinhauf, because my email's up and I see in my email Planned Parenthood.

[1435] No kidding.

[1436] Yeah.

[1437] What's it saying?

[1438] You're due on what day?

[1439] Is it tracking your pregnancy?

[1440] Another P. Baby on the way?

[1441] Oh, P. Baby.

[1442] I don't know.

[1443] You tell me. The P. takes both of us.

[1444] By the way, a second great joke came out.

[1445] Did you already say the second?

[1446] Oh, shit.

[1447] No, we have to.

[1448] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1449] Okay, let me find it.

[1450] God, the people with their pee baby jokes are just killing it.

[1451] They're on point.

[1452] We also are in litigation right now with Pee We football because we brought Pee Baby to Pee We Football and they said she couldn't play.

[1453] And we're like, it's called Pee We football.

[1454] Like, no one else should be more.

[1455] We, pee babies.

[1456] We, the Pee babies of the United States of America.

[1457] Okay, this was from Leon Vank Link and he said, Dax, Monica, are you guys jealous that Monica's baby already has a Peabody?

[1458] That was so funny.

[1459] That's a Peabody reference, a Peabody Award reference.

[1460] Yes, because we said Dax kind of for a second was hoping that we'd get one.

[1461] Yeah, I try to self -nominate us for a Peabody.

[1462] I don't even know what it is or how it works, but I self -nominated.

[1463] Oh, my gosh.

[1464] In college, I don't know why Georgia is connected to this, but you could audition try out for being like a Peabody, judge.

[1465] Voter.

[1466] Voter.

[1467] Yeah, okay.

[1468] Judge voter.

[1469] Panelist.

[1470] Yes.

[1471] Pianist.

[1472] And I audition tried out and I didn't get it.

[1473] Really?

[1474] Yes.

[1475] And I'm still pissed.

[1476] And Anthony got it.

[1477] Oh, he did.

[1478] Yeah.

[1479] So he has a hand in whatever year that was Peabody win?

[1480] Yeah.

[1481] Oh, my God.

[1482] He must feel so proud.

[1483] He does.

[1484] I want to make clear the pee baby is our peat baby.

[1485] Yeah, yeah.

[1486] Because it's not the virgin birth.

[1487] It's not the Christ baby.

[1488] No, it's not.

[1489] It took two.

[1490] It took my pee and your peat.

[1491] And a good deal of fermenting.

[1492] Yeah, exactly.

[1493] That's just the natural world.

[1494] You know, in there is probably the answer of how it went from inorganic to organic.

[1495] The big question?

[1496] Yeah, the cradle of civilization is in the toilet.

[1497] Should I invite some scientist to visit pee baby?

[1498] have to play with her and hold him.

[1499] I don't know what he identifies.

[1500] It says she.

[1501] Well, we identify her that way.

[1502] I'm just not positive.

[1503] Oh, you're right.

[1504] We shouldn't decide for him.

[1505] You're right.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] We don't see a penis.

[1508] I can tell you that much.

[1509] Or a vagina.

[1510] Wow.

[1511] But at times, you can be like, oh.

[1512] Oh, my goodness.

[1513] Okay, well, that's all for Keith.

[1514] Good night, pee babies.

[1515] What if a militant faction of Armcherry started and they called themselves the pee baby.

[1516] Oh, God.

[1517] A militant?

[1518] Why do they have to be militant?

[1519] Because every subgroup of any group becomes more militant.

[1520] There's no, like, less strict subgroups.

[1521] They always get stricter.

[1522] Don't make the pee baby the face of some militant.

[1523] That is not fair to hurt him.

[1524] Us, as a family, as a pee family.

[1525] Yeah, that's just really not fair.

[1526] Love you.

[1527] Love you.

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