108 - King Of Police

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVey, DeVey, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Hello.

[17] Hi.

[18] And welcome to my favorite.

[19] Amirderder.

[20] The podcast.

[21] that tells you it's just things fucking tons of random terrible things right without curse words that's right this is a this is an all Christian podcast child friendly a child friendly religious based we've got fucking railroad or what are they called trains going by in the background ghost trains we don't believe in evolution everything you could want in a podcast just, uh, wow, that trains loud.

[22] Yeah.

[23] Do you know, I got to an Uber the other day and like, there was this rock music playing and I was like, okay, rock music.

[24] Great.

[25] And then it was like, the lyrics were like, oh, fuck.

[26] You're trying to sell me hard on Jesus, H. Christ.

[27] And you were like, hava Nagila.

[28] I've had that a couple times in Uber's where I feel like people are like, they're trying to work.

[29] They're trying to make a dollar.

[30] But they're also like, well, I could kill two birds with one stone and be spreading the word of our lord i wonder if there's like a cult of you know jesus people who are like this is how we're going to get people on is we're going to yeah uber and play pretty good rock music pretty good passable yeah so funny i did dave holmes friday 40 last friday love it christ fairbanks of do you need a ride and um he said it's first i can't remember how it came up but he goes have you ever had that thing where you you start to hear a song you really like it and then you realize it's Christian and then you realize you're like a hypocrite for not liking it kind of what happened well I don't want to hear about how he lifts you up and you raise your your paws in the air he lifts you like dirty dancing style like Patrick Swayze no one puts Jesus in a corner boom and the podcast boom goodbye fuck all y 'all hey can I do can I read this because fine I've been exposed is being obsessed with bowling.

[31] Fine.

[32] I don't care anymore.

[33] Why am we bowled yet?

[34] I know.

[35] We've had at least two days.

[36] Um, so someone sent us a picture of the bowling socks I was talking about last on the Minnesota, the minasode.

[37] Miniosode.

[38] Um, exactly as I described, three bowling pins, a red bowling ball and what looks like puffs of air at the bottom?

[39] Do you think that's the speed of the ball, getting those?

[40] Because it's like, it's like the, it's almost like a bomb.

[41] goes off on your ankles yeah and they're um these ones uh it says this is for hard stark that's you georgia thank you oh because this is instagram okay stephen ray morris my favorite murder i believe i got the mission bowling club is that in san francisco it is gray wing this is from gray wing on instagram francisco um p .s my grandmother is in the bowling hall of fame oh what i'm so proud of your grandma.

[42] Who is she?

[43] We've please send us more information.

[44] Oh yeah.

[45] Gray Wing, G -R -E -Y, W -I -N -G, San Francisco, California.

[46] If you could please send us a very concise book report, three to five paragraphs about your grandmother.

[47] With photographs from when she was playing bowling and as an elderly woman.

[48] What if it's both?

[49] Oh my God.

[50] What if she started young and went all the way into her into to modern day?

[51] I want to know what she carried in her purse on a regular basis.

[52] Hall of Fame, though.

[53] She's not just a great bowler.

[54] She is of the greatest bowlers.

[55] And you know San Francisco.

[56] I mean, that's where my people are from.

[57] That's why I'm so passionate about bowling.

[58] It's not like they have a shortage of good bowlers.

[59] So that means she was really fucking good.

[60] That's right.

[61] It's what everyone's like up there.

[62] It matters.

[63] We're going to go bowling soon.

[64] Oh, today's Valentine's Day.

[65] Oh, yeah.

[66] Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.

[67] Thank you.

[68] Well, yesterday was Valentine's Day based on when this podcast was going out.

[69] Based on the reality you people live in.

[70] Right.

[71] Not the one that we truly are stuck in.

[72] We're currently drinking coffee and whiskey in.

[73] That's right.

[74] We're having such a Valentine's Day party.

[75] Steven's drinking coffee out of a cat mug, which is his lifelong dream, right?

[76] I'm drinking coffee out of an FBI mug.

[77] No, sorry, L .A. County Coroner mug, which is my dream.

[78] George is having some nice whiskey on ice Out of a vintage fucking tumbler mug Tumblr glass Yeah, it looks like something that would absolutely have been left on my grandmother's nightstand Definitely And then in the background There is a train that has not There hasn't been a train That's come by here in 25 years We're living our lives I wanted to tell you That after a 20 year hiatus I am again reading stranger beside me oh really yeah what brought you back to us Zach Ephron well people want to hear people want us to talk about that we have talked about it I know but they want to say there's more photos now okay and I and as now that I'm reading it and like in it I see the photos and I'm like I know when that was like supposed to have happened and when did Ted Bundy go through a weightlifting phase that's the question I have because the first photo I really you think he's to cut he's insanely cut for from what I in my limited as we all know extremely limited research he Ted Bundy always seemed like kind of a skinny little professorial type I think it's like a skinny but like what are the you know like a tennis player sinewy sinui he's a sinu this is why you wanted Gary sinise sinise maybe we just happen to is it sinise or you just saying that because of I think it is there's someone you said he wanted to play him before this whole F -Rone thing came out.

[79] It was not Gary Smey.

[80] Who was it?

[81] Come on, Steve.

[82] What?

[83] You can't put your hands up like you don't work here.

[84] You son of a bitch.

[85] Stephen.

[86] Stephen, you had one job to remember her Karen.

[87] You have one job with just to memorize every word I say.

[88] It's not Gary Sinise.

[89] No. It's, oh God, what's his name?

[90] It's someone who looks like Ted Bundy.

[91] Who would you want to play?

[92] Let's start over.

[93] Who do you think she'd play Ted Bundy?

[94] Not Zach Ephron.

[95] Let me stroke my minorly invisible beard.

[96] It's, forget it.

[97] Edit this out.

[98] No, this is one.

[99] Stephen's saying no. This is, Steven's like you don't decide.

[100] He looks like Bill Pullman.

[101] Okay.

[102] I remember this and I remember when it hit me. I was like, I'm a fucking casting genius.

[103] You were.

[104] And he's in the movie.

[105] It's not Chris Pine.

[106] Is he, no. Okay.

[107] I love him.

[108] Is he in the movie with Jack Nicholson, when Jack Nicholson has...

[109] Greg Kinnear!

[110] Greg Kinnear!

[111] There are people who have been screaming at their podcast machines this whole time.

[112] Gary and Greg.

[113] So similar.

[114] You were right there with that G. I mean, with the four -letter word and the G. Greg Kinnear is with dark hair because his eyes are little...

[115] He's good looking classically, but his eyes are just enough close together that you you are suspicious of his agenda.

[116] Is this train circling the apartment?

[117] I think the train is coming for us.

[118] Can you hear it, Stephen?

[119] Okay, good.

[120] It's, we're tied on the track right now.

[121] We haven't paid our, we haven't paid our rent.

[122] Stephen is twirling his mustache as he watches us tied to the track.

[123] Oh, good Buster Keaton's here.

[124] Oh, great.

[125] You know, I'm having, now of course I'm having Ted Bundy nightmares.

[126] Okay, because you're in that book.

[127] And I keep saying, stop reading this Georgia.

[128] stop reading this Georgia and I can't put it down it's so good it's so good and it's also so dated and Anne rule like she should never have died because she just needs to keep updating this book it's the idea like when she tells that story the idea that she was this single mother who was trying it was working for the police department but it was also trying to be a freelance writer and she's like what are the fucking chances and she's but she's also volunteering at night like what a What a badass.

[129] And then she volunteers next to pretty much one of, second only to like Ed Gain or Dommer, like, won the most.

[130] Maybe Dommer.

[131] Gacy.

[132] But one of the, like, yeah, no. I think Ted Bundy's.

[133] I think Ted Bundy was relatable to everyone because he was hot.

[134] Yes, he was so tricky.

[135] He was the ultimate, like, Wolf and Sheep's clothing.

[136] Totally.

[137] He was, he was kind of small.

[138] Well, she didn't even believe that he could have done it for so many.

[139] She didn't believe it when it was like, it's, we've.

[140] found a man in a gold Volkswagen bug.

[141] She called her friends of the detective agency and was like, just look into my friend.

[142] I know this is weird.

[143] Yes.

[144] Like she even turned him in and she was like, I don't, it can't be.

[145] It can't be him, but could you look because she was like, I can't deny this human, stacking up facts.

[146] Right.

[147] But still it's not him.

[148] I know it's not him.

[149] And I'll, yeah.

[150] That's the classic sociopath.

[151] Like, or psychopath.

[152] We didn't know it.

[153] Well, we, I wasn't boring.

[154] they, you know, they didn't know it at the time that that was a thing that even though someone doesn't look like a fucking murderer or act like it.

[155] No one, those people don't act like murderers.

[156] Yeah.

[157] Well, now we know.

[158] Well, so the movie is coming out with Zach Efron.

[159] I hope he kills it.

[160] I'm looking forward to it.

[161] I think he will.

[162] I think he looks like him enough.

[163] And the other thing that she keeps talking about is that he was like a shapeshifter, that he looked different all the fucking time, which is why he was so hard to pin down, is that he kind of always changed his look.

[164] That's right.

[165] In fact, you can, if you look it up online, and I'm sure everyone that's, most of the people listening have already seen this, but there is a collage of his mugshots.

[166] And you can see how the way they couldn't, like, when he went from Seattle to Utah.

[167] And it's not even like a beard or not a beard.

[168] It's just this look in his face.

[169] that's so different and that's the spookiest part yeah and then by the time he gets to florida he's just a fucking maniac good for zach a man what a fucking role yeah i think you can do it oh what a dream well so there's this there's this documentary can i just say this yeah he can't i hope he knows and if they're still shooting and he can hear me don't smile with your eyes because that's it you got to go dead zone totally with those crazy eyes totally because zach effron's a big like he's like one of the reason he's like a Disney star is because he's one of those 12 year old boys that would wank at a grown woman it's a it's a it's a specific type he's a he's a he's a ryan um let's do this again oh my god he's a ryan let's do it some more the one everyone loves i don't like him stephen ryan sea crest no are you fucking kidding me stephen he's the one you know the blonde one who was in drive Drive, right?

[170] Oh, Ryan Gosling.

[171] Thank you.

[172] He's a Gosling.

[173] You were almost fired.

[174] He's a Gosling.

[175] Sea Crest.

[176] God damn it.

[177] Stephen out.

[178] Of a job.

[179] That's how you fire Stephen.

[180] That's how Ryan Seacrest fires people.

[181] Joanne out of accounting.

[182] Oh, Joanne.

[183] She did her best.

[184] She tried, but...

[185] Okay, so there's a documentary that's been being made of Ted Bundy that I really want to come out before you know it's the thing of like you know i haven't watched i tanya yet but i made sure to watch the 30 for 30 about tanya harding before i watched eventually the hollywood version exactly because you want to see what really happened so there's this this documentary that this woman seline beth caldron calderon probably she's been trying to make called theodore the documentary and uh she's trying to raise funds on indie gogo she's the first female filmmaker to make a documentary about Ted Bundy, which I think we both know is huge because she's focusing on the victims and not Ted Bundy being this like Marilyn, Marilyn Manson.

[186] Marilyn Manson type.

[187] Also, they're, so they always wore that one blue contact.

[188] They're doing an Indiegogo thing, but, but they're even, even with that, they're putting, giving five percent of what they make to rain.

[189] Oh, so like, she's not, I mean, I just really hope it comes out before.

[190] So, what's Her name again?

[191] So her name is Celine Calderon.

[192] Calderon.

[193] Calderon.

[194] And it's Theodore, the documentary.

[195] And she keeps, I follow her on Instagram.

[196] She keeps post, like, there's a photo of fucking Ted Bundy, like, never seen before next to the fucking bug.

[197] Oh.

[198] And then she got, like, she's interviewed a fucking shit ton of people who were involved, who have never, like, spoken before about it.

[199] And she needs money to interview more people so she can make the documentary.

[200] I really want it to be made.

[201] I think it's such a, such a passion project.

[202] Yeah.

[203] That's amazing.

[204] If you have, if you're up there on your, on your high hill and your mansion and you want to throw some dollar bills a certain way.

[205] Right.

[206] That would be amazing.

[207] And then you just look up theodore the documentary and I just think it should come out beforehand.

[208] And then give the equal amount to rain also.

[209] Right.

[210] Yeah.

[211] Get it all done in one in one donation.

[212] Don't be a dick.

[213] Come on.

[214] Stop being so greedy on your hill.

[215] I didn't know how mean you are.

[216] Why are you up on that hill in the fucking first place?

[217] Ryan C. Chris, you owe it to everyone to make this documentary happened.

[218] Ryan, we know that you have nine jobs, which means that you could donate, what, 50 grand and get this fucking thing made?

[219] 50 grand is nothing for him.

[220] Come on.

[221] You're natural.

[222] You're a, your America loves you.

[223] Love us back.

[224] Yeah.

[225] Is that too strong?

[226] No. For Valentine's Day.

[227] It's Valentine's Day.

[228] Ryan Seacrest, you're my Valentine's.

[229] Love is in the air and whatnot.

[230] Someone knows something.

[231] Season four started.

[232] Ah.

[233] Loving it.

[234] David.

[235] I love something know someone knows something he's so good this new one is about I love something something something this new one is about this dude who gets sent this bomb explodes in his fucking hands dies still hasn't been solved it was like 1996 what goes back to fucking figure out what happened it's super good and I'm really angry because they didn't drop all the episodes at once oh they're doing wait which is so smart but there's nothing worse than having to wait but I hate it that's great yeah it's good does he does he crunch down any country lanes he he fucking does his signature crunching to the towards the door from his car beautiful he does it's his thing it's his signature i see him in my mind as i listen to him do that and it's such a delightful and yet also incredibly upsetting movie only he can get away with that yeah because it's such a documentary filmmaker thing to do yeah yeah you know it's so excited that there's another season.

[236] I love it.

[237] That's all I have to say.

[238] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[239] Absolutely.

[240] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[241] Exactly.

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[257] Goodbye.

[258] Hey, this is exciting.

[259] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[260] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.

[261] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone, who killed Saz, and where they've really after Charles?

[262] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[263] This season murder hits close to home.

[264] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[265] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[266] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[267] Who knows what'll happen once the cameras start to roll?

[268] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy, Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[269] Only murders the building premieres august 27th streaming only on hulu goodbye okay so this was a story that i wanted to do when we were in columbus okay but it's too awful oh good uh so i'm gonna go back i know that these days i've been doing lots of slightly off kilter lighter whatever types of stories.

[270] I've gone all the way back to the ridge.

[271] This is a fucking awful, awful and recent murder.

[272] And you can't tell them why you can't do it at live shows.

[273] Well, in live shows, but first of all, we have to have stuff that we can talk about and riff about and like, and connect over and kind of go like, wait, what did you just say or whatever?

[274] And when it's a, especially if it's a recent murder, um, if children are involved, if it's unsolved, if it's, you know, just if it's if it's just relentless horror it hits too close to home yeah yeah there you just don't want to it's horrible yeah and also I think everyone together I mean we've had times where we've talked about really hard stuff but then but it can't just be that way the whole time so but when I was looking this up I was on I was like I think it might be worth it because there's an element to this that is so fascinating it's it kind of it transcends the horror of what happened well i think we should do whatever we want when it's you and i yeah right and there's stephen uh but at live shows it's hard to do really horrific murders yeah yeah just like look up i mean there is an interesting element to like grieving with 2 000 people at a time but not when they're mad at you yeah okay it's just hard but so i can just tell you this and then and then people can listen i'm just going to tell you no one else is listening stephen please put those headphones on more So this happened in Mount Vernon, Ohio, last November.

[275] Holy, like, as in four months ago?

[276] Four months ago.

[277] November, December, January.

[278] Oh, shit.

[279] Four fucking months ago.

[280] Happy 2018, by the way.

[281] Did we even say that?

[282] It's Valentine's Day.

[283] Happy Valentine's Day.

[284] And then upcoming President's Day.

[285] So on November 10th of last year, when Tina Herman didn't show up for work of Dairy Queen, her boss goes over to her house to check and see what's going on.

[286] and when he gets there, he finds it littered with beer cans and covered in blood.

[287] It was actually described as looking like a horror movie inside the house.

[288] Oh, God.

[289] So, of course, he immediately calls the police.

[290] Tina's not in the house.

[291] Her 13 -year -old daughter's not in the house.

[292] Her 11 -year -old son's not in the house.

[293] And her friend, whose car is in the driveway, is not in the house.

[294] So immediately, the police start a massive manhunt.

[295] There's people walking around on foot.

[296] It's in the air.

[297] Like the whole area goes crazy.

[298] The next night, Tina Herman's pickup truck is found near the Kenyon College campus.

[299] They actually, when they found the pickup truck, they did a lockdown on the school.

[300] Because they thought maybe the guy was nearby.

[301] Oh, shit.

[302] The police interview people that are walking around the area, they don't find anything suspicious.

[303] Back at Tina Herman's house, the police that are processing the scene, find Walmart bags with a receipt a Walmart bag with a receipt inside and the receipt shows purchasing of garbage bags and a large heavy -duty tarp never good not fully all the police are like you know what I remember this chapter in school bad fucking news so they go to that Walmart that's on the receipt they check their surveillance video the time the receipt and on it they clearly shows a very a young, not very young, but a young, brown -haired man, probably in his early 30s, buying these items at the store.

[304] And on the video, they can also see when he leaves, they see him drive by in his Yaris.

[305] Yaris?

[306] I was not expecting that.

[307] That's right.

[308] There are a lot of people drive Yaris proudly, and this guy was one of them.

[309] So he, it's all like right there on the tape.

[310] So the cops go to the DMV, they search the records, they cross -check, whatever.

[311] Yarrises.

[312] They go to all the YARIS owners.

[313] Gosh check YARIS.

[314] They arrest all of them for bad taste.

[315] I'm joking.

[316] Oh my God.

[317] Onslaught of Yaris emails.

[318] I know it's a good car.

[319] How dare you I bought this with my own money.

[320] Although I had to tell you my friend Tisha and I, we bought, I bought my Honda Fit at the same time she bought her Yaris.

[321] And she was trying to decide between the two.

[322] And I was always like, you got to go with this Honda fit.

[323] She was like, nope, I think I'm going to go with the Yaris.

[324] And I was just like, I felt so like.

[325] Like, it was like...

[326] Smug.

[327] UCLA versus USC.

[328] It was just like goodbye.

[329] Yeah.

[330] You're not, we're not on the same team anymore.

[331] Wow.

[332] I haven't spoken to her since.

[333] That's intense.

[334] Holy shit.

[335] That's how deep this Yara shit goes with me. Okay.

[336] So they find out through the DMV records and his driver's license, this man is Matthew Hoffman.

[337] He's a 30 -year -old unemployed tree tremor.

[338] Then once they see the pictures, one of the officers goes, I fucking talk to that guy.

[339] up at the college when we found the truck.

[340] Not -uh.

[341] Like one of the people he questioned?

[342] Yep, he was right nearby.

[343] So they're like, call everybody, we're doing the food.

[344] Gather the trip.

[345] Right?

[346] Circle the wagons.

[347] Circle the wagons is what most cops say when they think they have a person.

[348] Gather the, gather the wagon, circle the troops.

[349] Gather our friends and let us go out together and fight crime.

[350] Yes.

[351] So they fucking send the SWAT team to this guy's house.

[352] And so this is, this basically, takes four days.

[353] So four days after the family's found missing, the cops kick his, I, I don't know how it happened.

[354] Kick it.

[355] The cops kick down the fucking door.

[356] Matthew Hoffman is sleeping on the couch inside in the living room.

[357] And are you ready?

[358] No, your face looks unhappy.

[359] Well, it's just, it's not horrifying, but it's this.

[360] They find the entire living room is filled with leaves.

[361] What?

[362] Huge pile of leaves.

[363] Leaves.

[364] Leaves.

[365] Piled so high that the police feared bodies might be buried underneath them.

[366] What the fuck?

[367] So many fucking leaves.

[368] Mount Vernon Police Detective Craig Feeney told the Columbus dispatch, so much runs through your mind.

[369] What if somebody's hiding under that pile?

[370] Or in this case, I thought, what if that's where he's hiding the bodies?

[371] What the fuck?

[372] leaves leaves they walked down the hall to the bathroom no don't do it you want to pull up these pictures i brought pictures for you uh -huh this is how i found the story and it stopped me so cold i was just like what in the fuck are we doing oh my god oh my god so this is the bathroom no no i'm showing you the picture what the walls of the bathroom are lined with plastic shopping bags filled with leaves and it looks insulated like when it looks like insulation like before you're you put on the dry wall, you put bags of say Kmart and thank you, thank you, thank you and of like perfectly filled bags of leaves.

[373] Perfectly spaced, perfectly hung, each one right up the same width, same depth of, you know, it's not like sloppy.

[374] Bags of leaves hung on the wall.

[375] What the piles of leaves on the ground?

[376] How did they never heard of this?

[377] Because it just happened, I think.

[378] Oh, and so that's you saw it.

[379] Yeah.

[380] So just, it's, it's not even like it's just leaves legitimate it's not dirt and it's not gravel it's just leaves and isn't that something that's absolutely from like a david fincher movie yeah because it's one of those things where it's like it doesn't mean anything but it's so creepy yes as it is it just like the moths and signs the land right where you're like it's just moss it's not that big of a deal people collect insects i guess i mean you know a bit their touch yeah but when that moth lands next to her and when she's like, may I use your phone please?

[381] I always have to get one of those in there.

[382] Okay, so finally, they go down into the basement.

[383] Don't do that.

[384] There's a door closed and it's barricaded with this big sewing machine cabinet thing.

[385] When they break down the door they get inside, they find Tina Herman's 13 year old daughter alive.

[386] She's bound and gagged and she's laying on a makeshift bed of leaves.

[387] This dude loves leaves.

[388] I mean, it's so, and it's this dank, creepy basement, obviously.

[389] She's been raped, and she was wearing a plastic bag with holes cut it for legs like a diaper.

[390] So creepy.

[391] Oh, my God.

[392] He's arrested, taken into custody.

[393] How the fuck did I not see this?

[394] I don't know.

[395] Twitter's algorithms are really disappointing me. I mean, I was so, like, this was one of those ones where I was just like, I don't know.

[396] I think it's worth, I think this is the kind of thing that people that are interested in true crime, when you hear story where you're like, sorry, what are we doing?

[397] Like, what is this?

[398] But, like, I was in Columbus with you and I was, like, looking up Columbus murders to, to do for the show.

[399] And I didn't fucking see this.

[400] Right.

[401] Okay, go on.

[402] I mean, I feel like it was breaking news.

[403] Most of the articles that I found to tell you about this were they were waiting for, like, basically, once they found the girl, they still didn't know where the family was.

[404] And they still didn't know.

[405] Yeah.

[406] We still have three people missing.

[407] Thank God, she's well.

[408] And they, and just so you guys know they they did print her name when they first reported on the story then when they realized she was a sexual assault victim they stopped printing her name so that's why i'm not saying her name um so they're questioning matthew hoffman um he's not saying anything they said that this reporter that was writing this so these stories are from the columbus dispatch and also from the denver post um but they say there's hours of footage of police trying to question him and him just not saying a word and then finally he tells the police that he wants to confess because he has a bad dream about being at a food processing plant.

[409] Oh, no. So he tells police he opened up, in the dream, he opened up a trash bag at the food processing plant and he saw cut up body parts.

[410] And he got a nod in his stomach and it all, quote unquote, came back to him.

[411] And so finally he confesses to the murder of Tina Herman, her 11 -year -old son, Cody, and her friends, Stephanie Sprang, whose car was in her driveway.

[412] Oh, no. He tells police that he waited in the woods across the street from Tina Herman's house the night before.

[413] He was up in a tree, leaves, unemployed tree trimmer.

[414] He's got a tree issue.

[415] He's up in a tree.

[416] He watches the house all night at nine in the morning.

[417] He sees Tina Herman leave the house.

[418] So he thinks the house is empty.

[419] And the garage door doesn't go down all the way.

[420] So he sees his, this is.

[421] his chance to slip in he goes into the house um he's in he he he told police do we know how is this going to come up like how he knew who they were he just it was just a random well he had already been arrested once before for burglarizing a house by slipping it into an open garage door okay so when he told police he actually had only gone in to burglarize the house they believed that it was basically an interrupted burglary because he had done it once before and only burgled the house okay um and there's other extenuating circumstances in his life that are different on this one.

[422] But basically, Tina and her friend, Stephanie, came back to the house and interrupted him an hour after he broke in.

[423] And so he stabbed them both to death.

[424] Holy shit.

[425] Yes.

[426] And then he's dismembering their bodies.

[427] And the kids come home from school.

[428] So he stabs the 11 -year -old boy to death in the doorway.

[429] The 13 -year -old daughter runs to her room.

[430] He grabs her.

[431] He ties her up with an electric fan cord.

[432] And he puts her in his truck or in his, I can't remember, it's really weird because he did this thing where he had a Jeep, but then he also used Tina's truck.

[433] Right.

[434] And that's why he's the one that left it at the college.

[435] Right.

[436] And he had gone on foot back somewhere and he was walking back to drive the truck back to her house.

[437] And that's when the cop started talking to him.

[438] And he could play it cool.

[439] They didn't even suspect him.

[440] Yes.

[441] So something is fucking wrong with this dude.

[442] That's the old psychopath.

[443] They don't get nervous.

[444] They can look somebody in the eye and be like, yeah, I'm just here on the bike path, chilling out.

[445] Yeah.

[446] So what had happened is he put these dismembered bodies.

[447] And the little girl, they don't think that the girl saw the house, like maybe she was blindfolded or something, because she didn't know anything about what was going on.

[448] No, she didn't know.

[449] She just knew she was kidnapped.

[450] So he dropped her off at his house, put her in that basement, then left.

[451] He drove to the cocosing, I'm sure I'm saying it wrong, the cocosing wildlife area, which was apparently he was a big outdoorsman, and he like, went there a lot and camped out a lot and you know liked trees a lot um he with a rope uh and pulley system hmm he pulled their body parts up and put them into a 60 foot hollow tree and hid them there so holy shit that like wouldn't even cross my mind yes no no no it's like it's it's beyond the perfect and most obscure hiding place.

[452] The police were like, if we didn't make the deal, because he said, I'll tell you where the bodies are.

[453] If you don't give me the death penalty, the police were like, if we didn't do that, we would have never found these bodies.

[454] That was my mind because I have this, you know, this in mind of like, where are all the bodies, like there are over the whole globe, there are bodies hidden in crazy forests and weird places.

[455] and that wouldn't even fucking cross my mind.

[456] Now I have a whole other fucking thing to worry about.

[457] Well, and also because it's up so high that like it's all this premeditation.

[458] It's this plan.

[459] It's this like everything about it.

[460] And then it also makes me go like, oh, who put Bella in the witchel?

[461] Yeah.

[462] It's that weird like the tree thing.

[463] It's real.

[464] Oh, God.

[465] Now I have a whole other thing to worry about.

[466] Yeah.

[467] It's so crazy.

[468] We can lump it right into just the forest issue that we always do.

[469] File it under that.

[470] Yeah.

[471] It's just not going to be buried this time.

[472] Basically, he planned to then, once he went and picked that truck up, he was going to take it back to her house, burn the house down and, like, get rid of all the evidence.

[473] That was his plan.

[474] And then he told police that he also planned to, he said he was really nice to the daughter and that he planned to just keep her for a little while.

[475] He was going to, he, they played video games, they read books, they watched movies.

[476] He gave her hamburgers, blah, blah, blah.

[477] he was just kind of let her eventually let her run away she'd be home by Christmas is what he told the fucking police like he had this whole fantasy that he was actually a good guy he was a good guy and he was he didn't want to do these things but he was putting this a what a fucking dick well and also just mental illness gone beyond rampant like just untreated terrible you know whatever so um essentially so they have Of course, these newspapers have interviewed the neighbors.

[478] And this guy has so many neighbors.

[479] It's amazing.

[480] And they all have something to say.

[481] One of the neighbors said, there's only two trees near this guy's house.

[482] So she's neighbor Jeanette Colomber said he can't have possibly got that many leaves from that tree.

[483] So he asked all leaves in here from somewhere.

[484] Do we know what the deal with the leaves are?

[485] I mean, he's just obsessed with them.

[486] Yes.

[487] It's like they did interview.

[488] And I think this is from the, the Columbus Dispatch, they interviewed a guy named Dr. N .G. Beryl, who is the director of the New York Center for Neuropsychology and Forensic Behavioral Science.

[489] That guy says you would have to talk to this guy to understand what the connection is, but it's clear that this guy is mentally ill beyond what we associate with normal serial killers or murderers or psychopaths, because normally serial killers are not technically mentally ill. They have these character disturbances.

[490] but they know what's happening and they know that they're doing wrong, they like it.

[491] And that's part of the reason they're doing.

[492] They get pleasure and gratification from how the terrible things they're doing and the torture that they are inflicting on other people.

[493] He thinks that this guy had some other thing happening and there was like obviously lots of other issues at hand.

[494] Oh, my God.

[495] It's so fucking nuts.

[496] So the neighbor, let's see.

[497] So Jeanette said, I don't know where those leaves could have come from because there's no trees around here then a neighbor named Henderson Butcher says that Matthew Hoffen was friendly but he used to play around the trees a lot around there a lot He'd throw ropes up in the trees And had like a hammock up in there So in some part of the neighborhood That did have trees He would go in and be in them all the time Okay fine right Don't fine then Fine that's fine Just go do that Yeah, a lot of people like cheese.

[498] Donna Davis, D -A -W -N -A, my favorite spelling of Donna ever.

[499] It's all the good 70s names combined into one name.

[500] She was another next -door neighbor, and she said that she told her children to stay indoors when Matthew Hoffman was outside.

[501] Oh, that's chill.

[502] Yeah.

[503] And she said that he had moved in alone a year before, and that his girlfriend had lived with him temporarily, and then she moved out a month before the murder.

[504] and she said this is what she said to the Denver Post he'd sit up and listen to us up in a tree he had a hammock and he would just sit there and listen to us he was just different he was very different and oh my God she said that he walked to Foundation Park almost every day and was a quote nature person who collected leaves so I guess Foundation Park was a park the park nearby that the other neighbor's talking about And he would just go up in there.

[505] Also, his house was in foreclosure.

[506] And it had been, it started in January.

[507] So he was, I think, at the end of like a serious, probably psychotic break.

[508] Yeah.

[509] He makes that huge confession.

[510] And, oh, he also killed the fucking family dog.

[511] No. Yeah.

[512] So once he makes the confession and he said, he asked the investigator, If I write down the location of the bodies, he hadn't given away the location yet.

[513] And he said, if I write these down, can I then make a fake, like, attempt to escape and you shoot me?

[514] And the, and the cop was like, no, we're not going to do it that way.

[515] And so then he wouldn't talk.

[516] He wouldn't tell them where the bodies were for two full days.

[517] And then he finally, he finally told him that whole story that I just told you.

[518] And the police, of course, when they saw it, were just like, yeah, we had to, we had to make this deal with him because we would have never known.

[519] Sure.

[520] So in the end, Matthew Hoffman pled guilty to 10 felonies, including aggravated murder and rape.

[521] And he was given a life sentence without the possibility of parole.

[522] And the Knox County prosecutor, John Thatcher, said that this Knox County has never seen a case like this before.

[523] it has to rank in Ohio history as one of the worst homicide cases ever.

[524] My favorite murder history, too.

[525] I mean.

[526] Dude, so, like, I thought those leaves would, like, have something about, like, he buried the bodies and had to put the leaves somewhere.

[527] Well, no, yeah, like, directly.

[528] It's just he's, but the, that, um, psychiatrist that they talked to said, you know, obviously this is all, it's his, he has some kind of a delusion and some kind of an obsession.

[529] so in his mind somewhere in his mind and he would be the only person i'd be able to explain what that connection is but right now there's nobody that can say oh he did trees because murder because of trees and then but like just coming upon a picture of a living room filled with fucking leaves the the bathroom's more troubling to me of just perfect bags lined up and like whatever stapled to the wall it's almost like inverted hoarders like the same feeling i the first time I saw hoarders, but it's organized and only leaves.

[530] And on the wall.

[531] And then you've got to be like, what happened?

[532] What's going on?

[533] Tell me everything now.

[534] Meanwhile, it's a grown man that climbs and plays in trees.

[535] So, like, bought it, but was able to buy a house and have a girlfriend and like, how, I don't, it's so crazy.

[536] And plan the disposal of bodies in a really smart way.

[537] Yes.

[538] Well, yes, because once he was in it, it was like, that is the truth, like, that, um, that psychologist that gave the, or psychiatrist, whatever he was, that gave the difference, it's like, yes, he was mentally, a little clearly, but he also knew what he did was wrong, covered it up.

[539] Like, yes, he had, there was something going on, but you can't, he, it's the insanity defense I don't think could apply.

[540] Because he did, he covered up and hid those bodies.

[541] and hit a girl and raped a fucking girl like you know this wasn't some kind of like I went all over the place this wasn't like Richard Chase that Sacramento Vampire where you're like what the fuck are you doing dude yeah God damn it Anyway that's the Matthew Hoffman case of Mount Vernon Jesus I don't know how I would have acted on stage to this well it would have felt like this like we're just like oh man well mine isn't much happier okay but it's but it's interesting okay good all right that's all we ask that's all we need from you people you're not what what this is our job okay all right well this is one i hadn't ever heard of okay even though it's basically the like the french jean benet oh have you heard of this one madeleine mccan no it's the french madeline mccan oh okay a natural french citizen that's english right It's the, it's the, Madeline McCann, Jean -Binet, in French.

[542] Got it.

[543] Frant bread, French dressing.

[544] But with a side of French.

[545] This is Le Affair de Petit Gregory or the case of Little Gregory.

[546] Oh.

[547] Yeah.

[548] Okay.

[549] Already awful.

[550] It's one of France's most high profile murders.

[551] Uh, so in 1981, in the small village of, uh, near Volon.

[552] in eastern France, 26 -year -old Jean -Marie Vilman is promoted to Foreman at the Car Parts factory where he works.

[553] So after his promotion, Jean -Marie and his wife, Christine, who's 24, like so young, right?

[554] Yeah.

[555] Start receiving threatening anonymous phone calls from a person who knows a shit ton about their family and he calls himself the race.

[556] in.

[557] Oh, no. Yeah.

[558] What?

[559] Yeah.

[560] So this person is calling, threatening.

[561] He has a, this person has a hoarse voice or it's a woman disguising her voice.

[562] I listened to one of the recordings from way back when and it sounds like a fucking woman to me for sure.

[563] Was it super creepy?

[564] Yeah.

[565] It's not even creepy.

[566] They're having a conversation.

[567] Oh, no. All right.

[568] So, um, the person is angry with Jean -Marie.

[569] Once Jean -Marie had been promoted, they think he's putting on airs.

[570] He's got a lot of money.

[571] He's not joining the union.

[572] And so a lot of the articles about this and like every video is in French.

[573] Sure.

[574] So it's really hard to get information.

[575] I had to do a lot of Google translation bullshit.

[576] So some of it might be off.

[577] Like the Raven thing, it's called the crow in a lot of different like translations.

[578] Which is a totally different horrible death.

[579] Yeah.

[580] Yeah.

[581] So always ask me for French stuff because I took I took all the way up through French too.

[582] So Valong.

[583] Valange is?

[584] It's Valanges.

[585] Right.

[586] There's some fucked up things here.

[587] Okay.

[588] Okay.

[589] So they're pissed off at Jean -Marie.

[590] The Villamins they alert the police and they begin recording the phone calls.

[591] And so at that point, the phone calls stop and instead, threatening letters start coming.

[592] Do you think the Raven knew the phone calls were being recorded?

[593] Yeah.

[594] Because it sounds like someone who was close to the family.

[595] Oh, okay.

[596] So maybe even do.

[597] Like a mole.

[598] Yeah, that's totally a mole.

[599] So these threatening letters start coming in.

[600] There are these rambling letters written in, quote, longhand and low -class slang.

[601] Oh.

[602] The letters are signed the Raven and say such things as, I'll have all your hides.

[603] And I hate you so much, the day you die, I will spit on your grave.

[604] And it's sent to the whole family, like, you know, the grandparents and all these things.

[605] God.

[606] So a window of the house is broken in the Vilman house while Christine is at home, alone with the couple's young son named Gregory.

[607] Oh, no. And also all the tires are slashed on the family cars.

[608] So someone is threatening them, and it's a small town, and the person knows a lot about them.

[609] The harassment goes on for three years without the Vilmins or the police having any idea who was behind it.

[610] And then on October 16th, 1984, at around 5 .30 p .m., Christine, who's inside doing some ironing, goes out to bring Gregory in.

[611] He's four years old at this point, and she had left him outside to play in the sand beside their house, and he's not there.

[612] Oh, God.

[613] No, it gets worse.

[614] She gets in her car to drive around, the small town looking for him, thinking maybe he just wandered off.

[615] but at that point, Jean -Marie's brother receives a call at work from an unidentified person telling him, I have taken the boy.

[616] So a search begins, but by 9 .30, that same night, Gregory is found in the Valon River four miles from his home.

[617] Oh, God.

[618] Yeah.

[619] So this is, like, there's so many similarities to Jean Bonnet case in this.

[620] So little Gregory, he's this sweet boy.

[621] There's this photo of him in the same.

[622] same way that the photo of Jean Bonnet, looking all smiling and beautiful, is, you know, known to us for ages.

[623] This photo of Gregory is the same thing.

[624] He's sweet, smiling boy with messy curly hair, little four -year -old.

[625] He's found bound hand and foot.

[626] He's fully dressed.

[627] There's a photo taken at the scene by a journalist.

[628] It's a roped firefighter holding in his arms and like taking Gregory out of the river.

[629] Um, He's fully dressed in his blue anorac, dark green velvet trousers, and his, like, beanie still on his head.

[630] Oh.

[631] And it's published in the press the next day, and it traumatizes all of France, and everyone becomes obsessed with this case.

[632] Yeah.

[633] So, he's dead.

[634] Did I say that?

[635] Yeah, I mean, yeah.

[636] You figured.

[637] Okay.

[638] The next day, Christine and Jean -Marie receive an anonymous letter that says, to Jean -Marie addressed to him.

[639] I hope you die of grief, boss.

[640] Your money can't give you back your son.

[641] Here is my revenge, you stupid bastard.

[642] Holy fuck.

[643] In the same way that the Jean -Beney fucking letter was, it's so similar, right?

[644] Oh.

[645] Remember?

[646] Yes.

[647] But that was a ransom, a fake ransom letter.

[648] Right, but it was like your money can't help you.

[649] Oh, that's true.

[650] You know what I mean?

[651] That's right.

[652] Like, I'm jealous of your riches.

[653] Okay.

[654] So the investigation doesn't fucking start well.

[655] The lead investigator put on the case he's the only investigating magistrate in the district he's 32 year old jean michelle lambert it's his very first investigation no 32 can you i wouldn't trust a 32 year old to watch my fucking purse for five minutes dude sorry stephen how old do you 30 fuck wait a second my wallet's gone uh no that's too young too young you need experienced people yeah it's a big fucking different you need people when it's an important thing people have to know what they're doing they have to have experience they can't be in a state of i need to prove myself that's exactly right that's it's it's less like i don't know what i'm doing then i don't know what i'm doing and i need to act like i know what i'm doing yes so i'm going to fucking overdo it i can't listen that's exactly what happens you can't help me oh yeah yeah well it's the same thing with the jean benet when they sent the young and experienced cops on christmas fucking day so 32 year old jean michelle lambert first investigation first of all he fails to secure the crime scene and he also doesn't order a full autopsy so the autopsy has been criticized forever because it was incomplete and sloppy so they don't know there's no bruises on the body pathologists attribute the death to drowning and contact with the cold water they're not totally sure they disagree whether he had been drowned in the river or in tap water because the lung, the water in his lungs contained none of the microscopic organisms that one would find in a river.

[656] Ew, that's awful.

[657] I know, but they didn't do it.

[658] But Lambert was like kind of trying to spare the parents by not making them over autopsy, poor Gregory.

[659] It doesn't work that way.

[660] No, unfortunately.

[661] I mean, ultimately.

[662] Yeah.

[663] So from the beginning, suspicion falls on the family of Jean -Marie, the father.

[664] His parents, brothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins all lived nearby.

[665] And when Jean -Marie is promoted to Foreman way back when, um, some of the family members had been unhappy about it.

[666] So they think that the person who was writing the letters, the Raven and the killer might be part of his family.

[667] Out of like jealousy.

[668] Yeah.

[669] And he has a big family that all lives in this neighborhood, in this area.

[670] So, um, police force hundreds of, 140 members of the Vileman family to take handwriting and dictation test to compare them to the letters and phone calls that have been going on.

[671] Wow.

[672] Wow.

[673] They copied pages of the writing, including the text of the last message from the Raven.

[674] And a month after Gregory's murder, the 15 -year -old sister -in -law of Jean -Marie's cousin.

[675] So Jean -Marie, the dad of Gregory, his cousin, whose name is Bernard La Roche, his cousin's sister -in -law, this is confusing, who's 15 years old.

[676] So she's just like, nerdy, red -headed 15 -year -old totally early 80s like not much go maybe a Duran Duran shirt on but like no makeup she's not like yeah jean -jacket I see her I can see her yeah a comb holding one side of her hair back yeah but like really nerdy comb yeah a math comb you know yep yeah yeah it's a ruler uh -huh she so she's 15 year old 15 years old she comes forward and tells investigators that the that the cousin her her brother -in -law who's married to her sister 29 year old Bernard LaRoche is the murderer.

[677] Oh, fuck.

[678] She tells them that the day Gregory was killed, she had been picked up by Bernard from high school and taken to the Vileman's house.

[679] They picked up Gregory and headed for the river.

[680] And then they parked and Bernard went off with him and came back alone.

[681] So she's fucking pinning it all on her sister's husband.

[682] Okay.

[683] Who's this like smiley, big, boisterous looking mustacheo messy 80s hair, dude.

[684] played by like a young um what's it rosan's husband on rosan john goodman like a young john goodman i was thinking vincent dinofrio no not more jovial looking okay got it yeah yeah good time guy totally got it but like why are you smiling inappropriately in this photograph oh you know what i mean yes there's a photograph of the three of the the cousin his wife and his wife's and uh the young Muriel.

[685] Her name's Muriel Boyle.

[686] There's a photograph of the three of them, and I just want to know if it's taken before or after the murder because it's inappropriately smiling and creepy.

[687] Okay.

[688] You know what I mean?

[689] Yes.

[690] There's something about it.

[691] French people are screaming.

[692] They're what they think about really happened.

[693] And I want to know.

[694] They're like, actually, we're supposed to smile like this way.

[695] Right.

[696] So why are you smiling?

[697] Okay.

[698] I knew I used to work with an oversmiler who actually, I'm positive with a sociopath.

[699] Because they don't know when it's a appropriate so they just do it the whole time right and they it's this thing of it's almost like that weird hypnosis kind of thing where it's just like yes everything's fine like they're trying to control you with their mouth right with their teeth they learn that people they learn that people mimic things so they just fucking do it yeah like here this is friends friends see yeah see was like someone always trying to show you that they're happy and smiling right they're covering something and you know inherently, but you're like, but they seem so happy.

[700] Yeah, I have to mimic what they're doing because they're setting the tone of the room, which is, we love everything.

[701] And then when you get older and stop giving a shit about anything, you realize, like, you don't have to do that.

[702] Like, when I stop, when I stop being that way, which I am inherently like a person who will mimic a person's happiness because I'm just uncomfortable that way.

[703] Yeah.

[704] And I don't do it.

[705] Then I'm like, oh, this isn't right.

[706] Yeah.

[707] I don't want to be here.

[708] It's, well, because it's like, what is, Why is this person trying to control me this hard?

[709] Like, what is how?

[710] What do they not want me to be paying attention to?

[711] Right.

[712] I mean, this is that photograph.

[713] In a nutshell.

[714] From the 80s.

[715] With a mustache.

[716] Stephen.

[717] Um, okay.

[718] Wait, are you French, Stephen.

[719] Uh -huh.

[720] O 'ee.

[721] Okay.

[722] So she says that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[723] And then, okay, so Bernard, this guy, Bernard, the cousin and Jean -Marie had played together as children.

[724] So they're from the same clan.

[725] It's like a clan more than a family.

[726] It's almost like Fargo that second season when they're like the big crime -fying family.

[727] The crimey family?

[728] They didn't fight crime.

[729] They grined.

[730] But they had grown apart over the years and Bernard was an unkempt, often profane man with a mustache.

[731] And he and his wife, they also had a four -year -old child, but he was had a learning disability.

[732] So they both had four -year -old children, but Gregory was this beautiful, smiling, happy baby that everyone loved, and Jean -Marie had been promoted.

[733] He was getting all this money.

[734] His dad was in charge of the plant.

[735] Well, meanwhile, Bernard seemed to have a shitty fucking life.

[736] Right.

[737] So, uh, they didn't socialize anymore with Jean -Marie and Christine, but so he wouldn't have known about the family a lot enough to write these Raven letters, but one of John Marie's brothers was good friends with LaRosha.

[738] He would have known.

[739] Okay.

[740] Um, da -da -da.

[741] he didn't like the Wilmans blah blah blah okay so at so so this chick Muriel's like my fucking brother -in -law did it I'm 15 what's up yeah at the spot where Mariel said they had stopped the investigators find a it's a vial of insulin and a syringe they find on the ground okay they make the investigators think that Gregory had been put into a hypoglycemic coma before being thrown into the river.

[742] Okay.

[743] So that made him unable to, so he unable to do anything.

[744] Right.

[745] And it was also tied up.

[746] Yeah.

[747] So, but, but there had been no toxicology report because the autopsy wasn't done correctly.

[748] So they didn't know they didn't look for needle marks, anything like that.

[749] And so Muriel says she wasn't aware of what her uncle was doing.

[750] She had just been sitting in the car.

[751] but it turns out that Muriel's mother, Janine, was a diabetic, and that Muriel was her insulin injector.

[752] Oh.

[753] So she might have been more involved than she said she was.

[754] Because she would know how to do it.

[755] Right.

[756] Or she would even have provided them with it.

[757] But then why would she fucking go to the cops and say he did it?

[758] Like if she's involved.

[759] That's a great question.

[760] Why would she do it?

[761] No, no. Why would she do it anyway?

[762] There's a lot of questions here.

[763] Well, yeah, I mean, that's the first.

[764] Because she's 15 and feels as an, an adult and knows there's right and wrong and your fucking bullshit fights with families don't matter yeah because that's such a huge it's such a stretch from i hate my rich cousin who gets everything to i'm going to kill a child like not even kill your cousin fine kill an adult man yeah whatever but to to take away the child is such a i want you to suffer specifically yes the most crazy it's so awful right so um um Um, they test Bernard's handwriting and experts say he had written two of the poison pen letters, including the one sent the day after the murder.

[765] So they say it's, it's Bernard.

[766] It matches him.

[767] And this is in the time where they knew nothing about handwriting analysis.

[768] Like that's back in these zodiac times where they're like, nah, it's not him.

[769] It's almost like it's in a time when they thought they knew everything about handwriting analysis.

[770] And now we know that they know that they know nothing about handwriting.

[771] You know what I mean?

[772] Yeah.

[773] It's like the opposite where they're like, you can tell everything from that.

[774] And now we're like, no, no, no, no. you can't do that right you're making all kinds of insane assumptions exactly and you sound really fucking smart yeah right so bernard is arrested and then muriel gets the the 15 year old gets sent back to her family's house and a couple days later retracts her entire statement what everyone is like muriel like was bullied by her family into retracting that statement oh everyone thinks that.

[775] Okay.

[776] How dare you turn on the family?

[777] How dare you?

[778] On the brother -in -law.

[779] This, you know, there's like insane, like family, like going back probably hundreds of years within this small community with this family.

[780] Right.

[781] Or these families.

[782] And against the prosecutor's advice, Lambert, the police investigating 31 -year -old dude.

[783] So the police investigator, even though the public prosecutors like don't fucking do this they let Bernard go because she retracts her statement and they're like well then let's let her go but then that's it well there's it because then there's no evidence that he's involved well they were saying there's other evidence right so why wasn't he held oh yeah okay on the day of his release Jean Marie Gregory's dad in front of a bunch of journalists vows that he would kill his cousin Bernard Of course he did.

[784] He vows to kill Bernard.

[785] Two journalists.

[786] To journalists.

[787] The LaRoche family tries to get police protection, but the police are like, nope.

[788] Oh, no. Nope.

[789] You can't have it.

[790] Uh -uh.

[791] And so, true to his fucking word, on March 29th, Jean -Marie waits outside his cousin's house, and when he gets home, pulls up, he fucking approaches his cousin, Bernard, and shoots him with a hunting right.

[792] Oh, fuck.

[793] Bernard dies.

[794] Oh, my God.

[795] The cousin dies.

[796] Goodbye, John Goodman.

[797] He's out of the picture now.

[798] Jean Goodman.

[799] Jean Goodman.

[800] Jean Goodman is dead.

[801] It's like if fucking John Ramsey had shot, you know, his boss, it's just insane.

[802] Yes.

[803] These steps people are taking.

[804] Also, it seems like reverse police work, where it's like, let them go, don't investigate.

[805] Right.

[806] Don't get details.

[807] going like everything is it feels like arrest someone now quickly and then let them go and then try this and it's just like panic amping everyone up yes and especially small town like anywhere in the world like boulder yes exactly small town life where everyone knows everyone's business and there's gossip and there's pressure exactly so uh bernard dies jean marie immediately turns himself in uh and he sentenced to five years for the killing.

[808] Whoa.

[809] Yeah.

[810] Meanwhile, Lambert, the police dude, is like, I know who fucking did this.

[811] I'll tell you who fucking did this.

[812] And he starts to build a case against Gregory's mother, Christine.

[813] Whoa.

[814] For the murder of her son, at this point, she's six months pregnant, too.

[815] Let's add that in for fun.

[816] Because this is a fucking lifetime movie.

[817] Yes.

[818] He's saying that the mother.

[819] killed her son.

[820] Uh -huh.

[821] Okay.

[822] This 33 -year -old fucking prosecutor.

[823] He's been 31, 32, and 33.

[824] They're all the same.

[825] Everyone knows.

[826] Well, time is passing, actually.

[827] Right.

[828] So, three locals who worked with Christine swore that they saw her at the post office on the date before Gregory's death when the revenge letter had been posted, which is like, I don't think it was true, but also who gives a fucking shit, you know?

[829] Like they're saying they saw her mail the revenge letter?

[830] They're saying they saw her the day the revenge letter was mailed at the post office.

[831] Okay.

[832] All right.

[833] Graphologists argued that there was an 80 % chance that she was the letter's author.

[834] So again, with the fucking Jean -Beney ransom letter.

[835] Right.

[836] And we're all like, right?

[837] But then they'd already said that he...

[838] Right, but he signed that they said, yeah.

[839] Yeah, they already said that the cousin was.

[840] right if they're just changing it per the stoke i got and string that was identical to uh what was used to tie up gregory is found in the seller of the villman's home oh no but it's like does that i don't know the bag i could have taken it there right that's the that's the one string they sell in this village sure also in the raven's letters he accuses christine of killing gregory so they start to believe what the fucking Raven is saying because Gregory had been conceived so they're saying Christina had been knocked up with Gregory in an extramarital affair and that's why she killed her son which ultimately wasn't true proven to be untrue that's fucked up yeah because then they're just floating salacious shit that people love to repeat and keep in mind this whole time if you were alive during the Jean -Benae Ramsey investigation it is the fucking media is going out of their bucking minds.

[841] Yeah.

[842] You know, front page glossy bullshit in every grocery store.

[843] I don't know what they have in France.

[844] That's equivalent to that.

[845] It's going on.

[846] Everyone is eating it up and all these crazy theories are being, you know, just thrown about.

[847] Yeah.

[848] I think it's a, they have one big magazine called Perry Match.

[849] And it's just pictures of people smoking and then terrible stories like that.

[850] That's what it is.

[851] Yeah.

[852] It's there.

[853] Yeah.

[854] Christine ends up getting charged.

[855] with the murder of her son.

[856] No fucking way.

[857] Oh, because it's this guy's idea.

[858] He's the, Lambert.

[859] I was going to say the king of police.

[860] He's the French king of police.

[861] He is the king.

[862] So the king of police, Lambert, charges Christine with this murder of her son.

[863] Fuck.

[864] Based on this evidence.

[865] Places her in a pre -trial detention in July of 1985.

[866] In protest, she goes on a fucking 11 -day hunger strike and is released.

[867] And it isn't until...

[868] Wait, sorry.

[869] That works?

[870] I guess she's pregnant.

[871] Oh, no. Yeah.

[872] So she's released and it isn't until, but they also, I think didn't have any, like anything to hold her on.

[873] Right.

[874] Cut to 1993.

[875] It is until 1993 when the case is taken over by another investigating judge, finally, someone who's hopefully over 50, Marie Simon.

[876] For real.

[877] That she's cleared.

[878] So between 1985 and 1993, people are speculating whether or not it's her constantly.

[879] And he and Maurice Simon is like.

[880] like does some fucking, you know, judgy magic thing, sprinkle something on her that's like, she's never allowed to be fucking tried for this again.

[881] Like, makes it so she can never be brought up as a suspect again.

[882] Yeah.

[883] Which is pretty amazing.

[884] That's like, isn't that double jeopardy?

[885] No, because she had never been brought to trial.

[886] Oh, oh, but he was just saying, like, this is now put to rest.

[887] Yeah, you can't bring her up as a fucking suspect again.

[888] It seems pretty decent.

[889] Yeah.

[890] The mother of the dead child.

[891] Right.

[892] Yeah.

[893] And, like, photo.

[894] of her man like at this time are heartbreaking there's a lot of photos going on and it's so 80s and so sad okay and then in 2000 the year 2000 you've heard of it the case is reopened when christine's family demands that DNA tests are carried out on the fucking stamps that are in the fucking letters yes yes unfortunately there's and there's hundreds of these letters uh three separate traces of DNA are found, but none of them are identified.

[895] What?

[896] Like, for some reason, none of these fucking, mm -hmm.

[897] Okay, not much happens until this past June of 2017.

[898] Whoa.

[899] Yeah.

[900] So we're both fucking, we're all about 2017.

[901] We're currenting this fucking episode.

[902] I love it.

[903] So in June, 32 years after Gregory's murder, 32 years, no one has been taken into custody for the murder since 1985 when his mother was fucking taken into custody.

[904] So no one has even been a suspect.

[905] Three people in connection with the case are taken into custody.

[906] Whoa.

[907] Okay, ready for this?

[908] Yes.

[909] So, okay, the aunt and uncle of Jean -Marie, Gregory's father, and Bernard, the dead cousin, Jacqueline Jacob, she's 72, and her husband, Marcel, is 71, are arrested.

[910] No fucking way.

[911] This fucking old people.

[912] They were like in their 40s at the time?

[913] 30, yeah.

[914] 80s, 90s.

[915] third yeah 40s so okay it's so fucking confusing so marcel jacob the the husband the dude is one of the younger brothers of okay it's basically jean marie's dad married marcel's sister okay it's gregory's great aunt and uncle got it okay um they're charged with kidnapping and confinement but not the murder saying they were responsible for the murder of gregory since he would not have died unless he had first been kidnapped.

[916] So they think fucking this chick Jacqueline, who's now 72, was the fucking mastermind of this whole entire thing and made Bernard made was the letter writer and the woman.

[917] It sounds like a woman.

[918] She's the raven.

[919] Yeah.

[920] She's the raven.

[921] But they're all involved and all hate this family.

[922] And the day of Bernard actually did the murder, but she was like the distraction and the mastermind.

[923] whoa this is like the second season of fargo yeah i mean totally like it really is because also it's just that like what for what are you doing like what is this plan totally and why the kid yeah it's such a sick it's like to hurt as much as possible also questioned are albert and monique vilman the parental grandparents of gregory 86 and 85 years old so gregory's fucking And grandparents on his father's side, on John Michelle's side, are questioned as well.

[924] Okay.

[925] Like, everyone hated John, uh, Marie and we're in on this.

[926] Even his own parents?

[927] They're, I mean, they're questioned.

[928] Wow.

[929] So the charges against the great Anne and Uncle, uh, follow a modern handwriting and modern, thank God, handwriting and linguistic analysis of some 2 ,000 letters of the Raven letters and voice recordings that lead police to conclude that the authors are a man and a woman.

[930] okay um more than a hundred witnesses are also interviewed some 12 ,000 pieces of evidence run through an advanced artificial intelligence program called anacrime which sounds fucking so cool that locates potential suspects at given moments and uncovers inconsistencies and statements and alibis how it's i think it's basically like this person says i was there and this person said you were like it's and the pings are from here and puts them all together and it's like whatever they're saying isn't true there's no way they could have been there.

[931] because it's basically based on how we're digitally and kind of in some way recorded at all times.

[932] I don't even think that at that point.

[933] I think it's just based on statements.

[934] Who said you were here?

[935] Who said you were there?

[936] You said you were here.

[937] Oh, that makes sense because they're talking to so many people.

[938] Right.

[939] So they put them all together and they're like, this person wasn't where they said they were based on everyone's testimony.

[940] And the scariest part about anna crime is that they're also those robots that can open doors now.

[941] Did you see that video today.

[942] Yes.

[943] That bothered me so much.

[944] It bothered me all day long.

[945] I didn't watch more than him walking because it looked like a spider.

[946] It looks like a spider and then there was a part where it turns before it opens the door with a creepy long vacuum cleaner tube.

[947] No. And it does this like click, click where it moves really fast to one side and it's so unnatural.

[948] Like it looks very animal -like and then it goes click -click and you're like, oh, what do we, I don't even know what this is.

[949] It's like we want the end days to come.

[950] Yeah, we're forcing it quick.

[951] Yeah, it's like we're begging it and creating the end days.

[952] Yeah.

[953] It's like some really smart guy that loves robots and computers also watched The Terminator too many times and he's like, we got to make this happen guys.

[954] But he never saw the beginning of the Terminator like the first scene in the boardroom.

[955] Right.

[956] He's like, this all looks great.

[957] And he didn't watch the romantic parts because I argue that the Terminator, the first one is one of the most romantic movies of all time.

[958] It's pretty beautiful.

[959] Yeah.

[960] God, and he goes to see his wife.

[961] and sees her gardening.

[962] Is that the right movie?

[963] Yes.

[964] When he goes and he walks by before he knows, like he's gone.

[965] He sees something and he's like that, yeah.

[966] Also just, you gotta love a guy that keeps a picture with him of the girl that he loves.

[967] Can I just tell you that term, I don't know what year it came out in, but it was way too early for me to watch it.

[968] And that scene in the boardroom in the beginning when the Terminator just kills everyone, it was so traumatic for me. I bet.

[969] Yeah, no, that's, it's, it's this horrifying.

[970] amazing movie It's so good though Can I tell you a quick Can I just do a quick sidebar of Valentine's Day?

[971] Always Valentine's Day That just reminded me the picture thing Just reminded me We have family friends Name the Mulkeens One of my dad's best friends is Kevin Gary And his sister Marilyn Malkin Is the woman Remember that high school picture I showed you Where I'm leaning against a ladder And I have almost a unibrow Always Where you look like one of Kelly Bundy's best friends You look like Kelly Bundy's like Why Kelly Bundy got into trouble That's right I'm her smoking friend.

[972] So Marilyn Malkin was, also, because it's so small town, she also lived next door to my best friend, Christine Gooden.

[973] So she took Christine's senior portrait, she took mine, she took everybody.

[974] She was like a really great photographer.

[975] And when we were, I can't remember where we were one time, she told me the story of how her and her husband Tom got together.

[976] They were, like childhood, he was friends with her, with Kevin, and with the boys and the in the Gary family.

[977] They were all on vacation at the Russian River.

[978] I think the boys were like 14 or 13.

[979] And she was like 11 or 12.

[980] And I tell the story because Marilyn died in November of cancer.

[981] And it makes me super sad because I hadn't seen her in a long time.

[982] And she's truly one of the coolest.

[983] She was like one of those cool people of your parents' friends.

[984] We were like, oh, I want to talk to her for five hours.

[985] She's like, I'm going to tell you how it is because no one else is.

[986] Yes.

[987] Like she really was.

[988] a legit rad lady and I'm very sad that she's passed away um but uh but I still have this story and I love it so much so she is a 12 year old girl is watching these boys play and roughhouse and they all they they all grab tom and um who is like you know her older brother's cute friend and they're about to throw him into the Russian river and so he pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and he tosses it to Maryland he goes hold that for me as they throw him into the water and she catches it and it falls open in her hands and he has a picture of her in his wallet and they were married for 51 years and that is my favorite that's just a little sidebar valentine's day story it's my favorite love story of like when you are a 12 year old girl and they're like a boy the idea that a boy would have your school picture in his wallet like you're the girl i like love and then actually they actually end up married the crush you have at 12 years old will never It just never It never burns that bright Never again Because it's so innocent And it's also so like Idealistic like you You know It's like when you're 12 you don't pick bad boys You pick like Yeah It's like oh he's nice Or like he said something nice to me Or something Or he has freckles or some stupid Some dumb shit Or he's just in the living room Sometimes it's that But I love anyway He's not mean to me like my brother Oh God That's my favorite Valentine's story and I just sidebarred you so hard, sorry.

[989] But that was beautiful.

[990] Okay, good, good.

[991] I love it.

[992] Let's get back to this little boy being murdered.

[993] Okay, the Jacob's alibi.

[994] So the anti -crime's like, beep, boop, I'm a machine.

[995] And the old folks, the Jacob's alibi are, quote, unconfirmed and unsubstantiated.

[996] So anacrime is like, hell fucking no. Oh.

[997] You lying with fucking liars.

[998] We need anacrime.

[999] Anacrime, when you're in your 40s, you're a fucking, lying.

[1000] Also arrested is fucking Muriel bowl.

[1001] Remember her?

[1002] The fucking little redhead?

[1003] 15 year old?

[1004] She's arrested at this point for complicity and murder and non -report of a crime.

[1005] So they're like, you knew more than you were saying at the time.

[1006] Yeah.

[1007] And we're finally getting down to cases.

[1008] However, so she goes on a hunger strike again for a few days.

[1009] Whatever.

[1010] A month after they're arrested, let's go back.

[1011] Remember Remember Jean -Michel Lambert, the 30 -whatever -the -fuck -year -old investigator who got taken off of the case?

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] In July of 2017, just a few months ago, he's 65 years old.

[1014] He's found dead in his apartment from suicide.

[1015] What?

[1016] A plastic bag over his head.

[1017] By 1987, he had been replaced by Maurice, as we said.

[1018] And Maurice wrote at the time in his personal notebooks that, Lambert had an intellectual disorder, and he said, I am in the midst of a miscarriage of justice and all its horror about the accusations against Gregory's mother.

[1019] In a suicide note, Lambert proclaims his certainty about the innocence of Bernard, but he says he no longer has the strength to fight.

[1020] So at this point, he still thinks that, I don't know, the mother is responsible or whatever the, whatever he thinks that Bernard is not guilty.

[1021] He can't let go of his own first instinctual theory.

[1022] Right.

[1023] We also learned several other letters have been sent since the restart of the investigation in June.

[1024] Prosecutor has been threatened with death by the Raven.

[1025] What?

[1026] The Raven's back.

[1027] Letters are still being fucking written.

[1028] Holy shit.

[1029] By 2014, nearly 3 ,000 press articles about 50, you know, papers a TV movie and 15 books have been have been made about this case and it's still ongoing and so we will update you when we find out but that is the case of le petite the affair of the petite gregory the case of little gregory that is so heavy how have we never heard that i've never heard any of that i must have seen it late night and one of those listy things that you've never heard of and saw this photo of this sweet little boy with this he's so French and cute and sweet and messy little hair and horrible it's just awful well and also just that it sounds like things are so bad so entrenched that people have just went insane like they were surrounded by their family and their competition and their small town bullshit it's like you look at this story you're like how could this have happened and then this happened and it's so insane and you're like well the same thing happened with jean benet and i'm still fucking casting aspersions and being like it was the brother or it was this or it was that and then the mom dies of cancer and I'm still like maybe she had something to do with it or her letter the letter looked like her handwriting and yeah we're just we're doing the exact same thing because you want some fucking clarity yeah just want someone to step forward and go yes all this other shit has happened it's just same with jack the ripper but you just want someone to come and go we finally have the one we have who did it the answer the answer clean clear you know not involving 17 relatives or whatever just like who fucking whose plan was this and who did it well i i think and fucking french people please let me know what everyone thinks because i have no way of knowing if everyone's like no what are you talking about everyone knew this person wasn't involved right that i'm saying is guilty i have no way you know i can't give my opinion because i can't fucking understand any of the fucking videos i don't understand half what's going on half of it like literally there's like five articles in english and like two videos that you can put subtitles on.

[1030] Bonjour, French.

[1031] Yeah.

[1032] But faster.

[1033] But at a speed of a hundred.

[1034] Of asking.

[1035] At the speed of a hundred.

[1036] They're all like, I don't understand any of it, but I want to know.

[1037] I know.

[1038] Well, that would be amazing.

[1039] If people actually have the like insider scoop.

[1040] Here's what we think.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] I think what everyone thinks is that the, that this great aunt and uncle, the great aunt especially is like the tedious fucking matriarch of the family.

[1043] who planned the whole thing, including alibis, and Bernard did it.

[1044] Fuck.

[1045] But your own family?

[1046] It's just dark.

[1047] I mean, yeah.

[1048] I think it's just like this angered, jealousy situation.

[1049] Oh, are you ending this with showing me those bowling socks again?

[1050] Because everything is sad and awful, and that's the only light we have in our lives.

[1051] What if I hold up a bowling sock every time things go so dark into the human existence of...

[1052] That's all I want is a bowling socks.

[1053] Stephen, look at it.

[1054] Stephen, look at the bowling sock.

[1055] Stephen was really bent over.

[1056] He's really bent over just now feeling those French feelings.

[1057] And we just have to remember these bowling socks.

[1058] French feelings are stronger than regular feelings.

[1059] God damn, that's awful.

[1060] I know.

[1061] Okay, so we're going to end this differently right now, right?

[1062] You and I were talking about how I just don't want to keep fucking...

[1063] We end the episode with things that makes us happy and I'm just going to keep saying my cats or that my back doesn't hurt and I'm fucking sick of myself right so like we're going to save this for like what were we going to either read a thing or I brought a thing I have a thing okay great I tried to actually do something great and I have a recommendation that made that makes me really happy so like after this episode go watch this thing I'm going to tell you about because this is the worst so great so this is all new we're giving it a shot it's basically we take the beginning and we're putting it at the Because we decided we front -loaded, we front -load everything with everything we love and are excited about, and then we drain ourselves with horror.

[1064] Yeah, and then it's like, what are you like, well, my cats?

[1065] And then we're staring at each other going, why haven't you gone to the movies?

[1066] You don't, you guys don't know that half the time at the end when we have to say a thing we're happy about, we have to make Stephen cut out 10 minutes of us going, I don't know, suitcase, I don't know, because it's just so depressing.

[1067] It's depressing, but also I think that we.

[1068] are afraid to overly plan.

[1069] We just want to have this be at the most natural conversation possible.

[1070] I don't like the planning, planning of like, anytime I come with something in my pocket, it feels fake and clunky.

[1071] So I always think, like, when we get there, something's going to pop into my head that makes, you know what I love?

[1072] And then, but then you're like, I love hash browns.

[1073] You're like, I just talked about a dead kid.

[1074] Yes.

[1075] This feels terrible.

[1076] It's not enough.

[1077] It's never enough.

[1078] No. This is why Elvis meows at the end of every episode.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] It's because when we did an episode once, And we were like, how do we end this?

[1081] I was like, oh, shit, let's do the, like, let's have Elvis meow.

[1082] Yes.

[1083] Let's just start talking about something else entirely.

[1084] Let's have something.

[1085] Okay, so that's what we're going to do.

[1086] Mine is, do you want me to go first?

[1087] Sure.

[1088] It's not that great.

[1089] Do it.

[1090] It's just a good thing that I like.

[1091] Great.

[1092] Same with mine.

[1093] And fluffy.

[1094] Okay.

[1095] There's this Netflix show, movie.

[1096] It's a Netflix movie.

[1097] It's a horror comedy about vampire roommates called what we do in the shadows.

[1098] Yes, girl.

[1099] Do you know it?

[1100] It's the greatest.

[1101] It is so good.

[1102] I have had the hardest time not talking to you about it.

[1103] It's Jermaine from Falkin' Flight of the Concourse.

[1104] Germain Clement.

[1105] And is it Tiki?

[1106] What Tiki?

[1107] I don't know how to pronounce that guy's name.

[1108] I panic when I see it on the page.

[1109] Tycho Wittiti.

[1110] Tiko Wattiti.

[1111] Look at Stephen.

[1112] You're hired again.

[1113] At a lower rate.

[1114] At a lower rate.

[1115] It is so perfect.

[1116] Amazing.

[1117] It's basically just like.

[1118] Like, oh, my, it's perfection.

[1119] Rees Darby has a hilarious, we're werewolves, not swearwolves.

[1120] Yeah.

[1121] It's just so good.

[1122] I want to cry.

[1123] Rees Darby, I actually one day was sitting, staring at my TV, like, I cannot look at one more true crime anything.

[1124] Like, I really hit a wall.

[1125] And then I went randomly my DVR recorded Flight of the Concordes, which is almost never rerun.

[1126] And, like, all you need to do is binge watch Flight of the Concordes, and you'll be happy.

[1127] I went straight to iTunes and bought both seasons or four seasons, whatever it is.

[1128] Yeah.

[1129] Because I was like, oh, wait a second.

[1130] I could watch this over and over for the rest of my life and be happy.

[1131] It's the best show ever.

[1132] I'm the hip hop opotomous.

[1133] My lyrics are bottomless.

[1134] And then nothing.

[1135] It's the best.

[1136] There's nothing better.

[1137] There's nothing.

[1138] Maybe he did.

[1139] Maybe he did what.

[1140] He maybe did.

[1141] He maybe did.

[1142] He maybe did.

[1143] He maybe did.

[1144] Also, those posters behind Reist Arby in the New Zealand.

[1145] office and ambassador's office over there are the best.

[1146] It's perfection.

[1147] It's New Zealand.

[1148] What we do in the shadows is an extension of that.

[1149] Yes.

[1150] And I think they're going to bring it to this place we call America and remake it here.

[1151] Yes.

[1152] But it's going to be Jemaine and Tyke.

[1153] Taika, who's so cute.

[1154] The other thing is I want to live in there because they're all hot.

[1155] They're so hot.

[1156] They're all all the vampires, except for the really old one.

[1157] Please go watch it.

[1158] It's the best show you movie you've ever seen in your fucking life.

[1159] Yeah.

[1160] If you haven't, it's so goddamn delightful.

[1161] Okay, so that made me really fucking happy.

[1162] I'm going to watch it over and over again.

[1163] I told you the time I got to meet the flight of the concords, I opened for them.

[1164] When I very first started stand up again after I hadn't done it for five years, one of my very first sets was opening for the flight of the concords in Denver.

[1165] While they were like in their like shit.

[1166] It was the height.

[1167] I think the show was still on.

[1168] I think it was like maybe their last season.

[1169] And they were like touring and shit.

[1170] I ate it in a way.

[1171] Were you doing music?

[1172] What?

[1173] Were you doing music?

[1174] No, no, no. I was trying to put a comedy set back together.

[1175] And one of the main problems was that the microphone was the mic cord was twisted around the mic stand probably 150 times.

[1176] Like there was no way I was getting the mic off the mic stand.

[1177] So I had to stand there like fucking Stephen Wright and deliver not set up punch jokes like conversational shit it was awful i got a terrible review in one of their like local weekly papers where they said it should it should have been christend shull because she's on the show and she's in denver like local yeah it was a horror show but all that aside horrible christin shawl love you that's horrible look i did it because i wanted to be around those guys and meet them no you there's no reason why you shouldn't have done it but Except for that I didn't have an act.

[1178] But they were so lovely.

[1179] And Jermaine Clement, like, in my opinion, we don't have to go on and on about this.

[1180] And we certainly don't have to debate it.

[1181] Jemaine's hotter than that were you going to say?

[1182] I think Brett McKenzie is the hottest technically.

[1183] Yes.

[1184] But then.

[1185] But we like a big guy.

[1186] Well, also, when Jermaine Clement walks toward you to say hello, thank you for opening the show for us, a wind kicks up indoors and his hair blew back there was a thing that happened where I was standing there like what in the living fuck is coming toward me right now I was he's a vampire also like he's a monster seen his David Bowie impressions yes you'll just never there's nobody ever it's listen listen listen to this podcast look and listen my husband does not listen this podcast so it's fine so let her fly and there was we viz and I were watching it together and I kept wanting to go, I kept almost saying, because the guy that they turn into it, I kept funny like, amazing.

[1187] They're so hot, but I couldn't do that.

[1188] It's weird too.

[1189] It's weird as American girls, I think, to see hot guys that are acting like sweet and innocent.

[1190] It's such a strange, not of my era anyway, combination.

[1191] And then they had like, I'm just going to keep talking about it.

[1192] They had like, they had, um, special effects that it was this low budget movie and then these insane special vampire effects.

[1193] Yeah.

[1194] Yes.

[1195] I'm going to watch it tonight again.

[1196] They just did it perfectly.

[1197] It was like a realistic docu -series almost, but, oh, I know it's so perfect.

[1198] It's called, I wrote down, The People Who Eat Darkness.

[1199] That's not it.

[1200] That is actually a really good book about a Japanese serial killer.

[1201] Go listen to that, but it's actually called what we do in the shadows.

[1202] That's right.

[1203] A different thing.

[1204] Yes.

[1205] But similar.

[1206] Okay.

[1207] Well, my thing is, I love it.

[1208] Now that's my thing, too.

[1209] That's great.

[1210] I'm support.

[1211] I see lotion in your hands.

[1212] Well, because we were given when we went to, I believe this was in either Atlanta or Nashville.

[1213] So this was a couple trips ago.

[1214] So I'm sorry that I don't, as I always say, someone pointed out to me on Twitter that I'm always like, sorry, I don't remember your name.

[1215] Sorry I don't, whatever.

[1216] It was Kim.

[1217] But I'm trying to look on here because I bet you.

[1218] It'll tell me Nashville, Tennessee.

[1219] Great.

[1220] We were given a little gift bag from some people and I lost a fucking card.

[1221] but it's from a company called Love Heels, Thistle Farms.

[1222] Oh, yeah.

[1223] And so this is a company that's in Nashville, Tennessee, where they make hand lotions and soaps and all this stuff.

[1224] I think it's, there's a lot of it is.

[1225] There's like a lip balm.

[1226] We got lip balm hand lotion.

[1227] This amazing, like, I can't stop using it body butter.

[1228] Okay, but everyone listen because there's a thing.

[1229] And you and I started crying when we read that, like literally crying in the greener room when we saw this.

[1230] All of the products from.

[1231] from Love Heels, The Soul Farms, are made by women survivors.

[1232] So these are women who, um, these are women who get these jobs because they have been, either they just get out of jail or they were, they are, how to leave their homes because they're of domestic violence issues.

[1233] So they're going to live at this place.

[1234] Yeah.

[1235] And they get this career.

[1236] And they get a job and they get, and they make these amazing, beautiful products.

[1237] My hands are always dry.

[1238] Yes.

[1239] I have a ritual before every show.

[1240] I put on hand lotion.

[1241] And if I don't do it, I get a little bit weirded out.

[1242] Oh.

[1243] Every once in a well.

[1244] And a mint in your mouth.

[1245] A mint in my mouth.

[1246] A mint in the mouth and a lotion on your hands.

[1247] Well, I'm a hand lotion.

[1248] This is my new hand lotion.

[1249] It's the best.

[1250] Because it's not greasy.

[1251] And it's curing all of my super dry cuticles.

[1252] It's amazing.

[1253] I'm stealing it.

[1254] So it's actually an amazing product that, like, smells good and really, really works.

[1255] And also when you buy it, you are supporting these people who are trying to get out of a bad situation and into a career.

[1256] They feel like they have a purpose.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] God, that's beautiful.

[1259] And it's they're making, they're making a product that could be in fucking Sephora.

[1260] I like, I like this so much better than the fact that Mimi, who's sitting right here truly does make me happy, but I don't need to repeat that every fucking episode.

[1261] Look, sometimes it's hard.

[1262] Listen, that's I love that.

[1263] Okay, let's do that from now on.

[1264] That's a good one.

[1265] Well, also, we get so many and you guys, we talk when we meet you and you get them to us we talk to you about it but we are inundated with amazing beautiful gifts incredible thoughtful hilarious brilliant creative artistic it's so fun and it's hard to we're also traveling so then we're shoving stuff in our bag like i was i looked around my house because i had actually the card that were that described in detail about I'm just a sloppy mess.

[1266] So I'm like, I finally grabbed up this thing where I'm like, well, at least this is in my purse.

[1267] I have this information.

[1268] Yeah, we're so lucky.

[1269] People have been so kind to us and we're so fucking lucky.

[1270] Yeah.

[1271] Thank you guys.

[1272] Yeah.

[1273] And so be kind to these people.

[1274] We will post, I will find that thing.

[1275] And then we'll have Stephen post the thistle farms because it truly, aside from anything else, it's a great product.

[1276] We should have a, okay, we'll talk about it later.

[1277] Make some plans on the show.

[1278] We should make some plans.

[1279] I love that.

[1280] This is so much better.

[1281] Yeah.

[1282] Okay, great.

[1283] Yeah, yeah.

[1284] It just takes five minutes of thinking.

[1285] That's all we need to do.

[1286] That's so exhausting.

[1287] We're going to get there someday.

[1288] We should make a podcast about it.

[1289] We should hire a team of secretaries.

[1290] No offense, Stephen.

[1291] But thank you all for listening.

[1292] Yes.

[1293] You guys are fucking angels.

[1294] Thanks for being outfield.

[1295] in the infield and we appreciate it you guys are like ghost baseball players in a cornfield we built it we look outside and you came georgia right as she said we built it she pushed her boobs together i love grabbing my tits um thank you guys stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye