Armchair Anonymous: Fraternity/Sorority

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[3] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

[4] I'm Dax Randall Shepin of joining by Monica Lillie Padman.

[5] This was fun.

[6] Yes.

[7] Yes.

[8] I mean, it was bad and fun.

[9] Frat sorority, which you and I were neither.

[10] We were neither.

[11] You could have ended up in a sorority if it turned the right way.

[12] Of course.

[13] If just, you know, the butterfly had flapped its wings in Europe.

[14] Yes.

[15] I would have ended up 100 % in a sorority.

[16] Although this would have been the hardest thing of your life because it's ultimately the apex of pure pressure.

[17] Oh.

[18] Rushing.

[19] Yeah.

[20] But it's also getting people's approval.

[21] Uh -huh.

[22] Earning membership.

[23] Yeah.

[24] So I would have really wanted it.

[25] Yeah.

[26] People push themselves to the absolute limit and then beyond as we learn in this episode.

[27] Yes.

[28] I think you can kind of listen to this one, but there is some parts you can't listen to.

[29] Right.

[30] So listen to most of it and not some of the other stuff.

[31] That's the trigger warning.

[32] Please enjoy frats and sororities.

[33] Hard times come and go.

[34] Take them slow.

[35] I'll have a one thing.

[36] got to know I'm going to shine it is recording did they tell you that I wanted to use a fake name yes did you hear what I just suggested it be what what I just said brutus brutus you know I took latin in high school so I like brutus you'll sign off on that that goes along with what was that Wikipedia that said that your real name was daxamus yes that's who's on the zoom right now maximus monica Brutumus dachymus.

[37] Okay, Brutus, please, you have a crazy frat and or sorority story.

[38] I don't want to genderize you and suggest, yeah.

[39] So I'm open to being either.

[40] That was very kind of you.

[41] But yeah, I was in a fraternity at a big state school where that was kind of a norm thing to do.

[42] Can you tell us what part of the country?

[43] Southeast.

[44] Okay.

[45] SEC.

[46] Georgia.

[47] You know what I'm talking about.

[48] I do.

[49] And so we were pledging.

[50] There were 18 of us in the pledge class, and it's like 12 weeks, and it's hell.

[51] Brutus, can I ask you really quickly?

[52] Did you have any parents that were in fraternities?

[53] Would you have been second or third generation fraternity?

[54] My dad was in a fraternity, but he kind of feels the same way I do about it now, could take it or leave it.

[55] Yeah, I even say it to weirdly excuse you.

[56] I mean, because I think sometimes it's just what your parents did.

[57] It's what you're supposed to do.

[58] I have many friends like that.

[59] Yeah, and I had friends like that, too, that were like, I'm an alumni.

[60] Legacy.

[61] Yeah, I just did it because I wanted something fun to do.

[62] and I wanted to meet friends.

[63] The guys on my hall were doing it, and they seemed like cool guys.

[64] Yeah.

[65] Most of my pledge class is a really good group of people.

[66] The older guys, the fraternity, not so much.

[67] Kind of what you'd expect.

[68] Yeah, they were kind of racist, too.

[69] Yeah, sure, sure.

[70] But later on in the pledge process, like towards the end, we were tired.

[71] We knew things were about to get real.

[72] We were all in study hall, which is where they made us go to the library, so our grades don't dip.

[73] Because, like, the biggest way fraternity is getting trouble is that their grades dip really bad.

[74] Oh, okay, smart.

[75] So they would make us go to the library for an hour every night.

[76] But that's also when we would start getting text messages of like, ooh, you're in trouble.

[77] You got to do this.

[78] And so we got this text that was like, be at the house at nine.

[79] Is it also kind of exciting?

[80] It was exciting.

[81] It was also when I started to realize that I was like pretty clinically anxious.

[82] I couldn't eat anything all day, which you'll see plays in a bit to the story of my downfall.

[83] And so all day, I kept hearing from older brothers like, ooh, tonight's whiskey bar.

[84] I'm like, okay, I like whiskey.

[85] That's not the worst thing in the world.

[86] Like, I can drink whiskey, and the worst thing you do is you can raleigh.

[87] But we get to the house, and right next to the house is this place called the duplex, which is this rundown duplex that some guys live in, and they say, go to the duplex.

[88] They turn off the lights.

[89] We have to stand facing the wall.

[90] And brothers come in, and they like ash stigs on us.

[91] They push our faces into the wall, stupid stuff, like pour maple syrup on us.

[92] And I was also starting to get a little nervous at this point, because the backstory, Earlier in the week, I'd kind of messed up with a fraternity.

[93] We're responsible for pledge driving.

[94] So, like, basically being free D -Ds, like, take guys to parties.

[95] Oh, okay.

[96] No freshmen really have cars.

[97] So I borrowed an older brother's car.

[98] And when I should have been pledged driving, I got a text from this girl I was talking to.

[99] And we ended up having a good time in that older brother's car.

[100] Oh, okay.

[101] And he found out, and he wasn't really happy about that.

[102] Yeah, this is a pretty big.

[103] infringement if I'm being on it.

[104] I feel like he should be proud of yours.

[105] It seems like something he'd also be proud of you.

[106] Once you're in, they probably be like respect bro.

[107] We didn't want to count that against you, but we had.

[108] And that's exactly what he said.

[109] He said they all thought it was kind of funny, but they had to like act mad.

[110] And so in that lineup, it was dark.

[111] Our faces were against the wall.

[112] They were like, all right, bring in turkey neck.

[113] And that's what they were calling me. And so they brought me into the house next door.

[114] And I could already start hearing this like weird music.

[115] It sounded like a messed up sterkis from an LSD nightmare.

[116] It was like horns.

[117] Like, bum, bum, bum.

[118] And I learned pretty quickly, the reason they call it whiskey bar isn't because there's any whiskey involved.

[119] It's because you're forced to listen to this song by the doors called Whiskey Bar.

[120] Or it's called the Alabama song, too.

[121] It's a terrible song.

[122] You should listen to it after you get off the call.

[123] It's long and creepy.

[124] Sure.

[125] When the doors had misfires, they were epic.

[126] It was weird.

[127] And I walk in, brothers, they're drunk as can be.

[128] They're dancing and around.

[129] There's beer all over the floor.

[130] It's slippery.

[131] And they just start saying squat, squat to the music.

[132] And so I'm going up and down.

[133] One song, I can do that.

[134] And then the song repeats.

[135] And then I can start singing.

[136] You know the words.

[137] And about 10 minutes go by.

[138] My legs are burning.

[139] I'm not in great shape.

[140] I did not eat anything that day.

[141] I didn't drink any water.

[142] Oh.

[143] And they start bringing every brother in about every five to 10 minutes.

[144] So with 18 pledges, that takes a long time.

[145] I'm in there the whole time.

[146] And then when another guy comes in, and we like link shoulders, we do it together, up and down.

[147] Oh, my gosh.

[148] And I think it was like some method of like, oh, yeah, you lift each other up and you care for one another.

[149] Okay.

[150] I'm really tall.

[151] I'm six, seven.

[152] Oh, wow.

[153] But so when the guys would go down who were like five, four, I would have to go down all the way to there and then go back up.

[154] Oh, my God.

[155] So my legs were burning.

[156] This went on for literally like an hour and a half.

[157] And sometimes people would collapse.

[158] I collapsed, and they would like throw water and beer on you and fit you and put you back up.

[159] Oh, my God.

[160] And this whole time this awful song is playing.

[161] Oh, it sounds like a horror film.

[162] This is Guantanamo.

[163] Is that what school you're at, Guantanamo?

[164] Yeah, man. It's weird, as I was thinking about retelling this story, why I didn't think this was worse than it was at the time.

[165] But you're just like on adrenaline and you think it's cool.

[166] The part of your brain that's firing at that moment to exist in this male group is so beyond.

[167] Oh, yeah.

[168] So eventually it dies out.

[169] They say, I go home.

[170] and I go and pass out of my dorm and I wake up the next morning and I've never been in more pain in my legs.

[171] I couldn't move my legs like at all.

[172] My knees were just locked.

[173] I was like, this is the worst.

[174] I got in a hot shower, tried to rub them out.

[175] And I got out of shower and I peed and my pee is just blood red.

[176] No. Oh my God.

[177] Tomato juice.

[178] I'm like, whoa, what the hell?

[179] And I also had a math test at like 10 .30 that day across campus.

[180] And grades are important.

[181] We know this.

[182] Grades are important.

[183] I wasn't very good at math.

[184] Oh.

[185] And so I call student health on the way to the math test.

[186] And they're like, hey, that sounds like a UTI or an STD.

[187] Come in and do blood work real quick.

[188] I didn't tell them anything about the squats because I was worried that I was going to get in trouble.

[189] And so I go and do blood work and I go to take the math test.

[190] Big lecture hall, 350 people.

[191] And I get nervous because as I'm walking across campus, my legs are given out every time I take a step.

[192] So I'm like relying on the railings.

[193] And I get to the lecture hall.

[194] And I realized it's one of those steep lecture halls.

[195] There's no railings in the middle of the aisle.

[196] So I'm like, okay, I can't sit in the very top because that's for the handicapped students.

[197] But I'll sit in the one right below.

[198] Good plan.

[199] You were handicapped, by the way.

[200] Yeah, I was.

[201] And so I take the test.

[202] The TAs pass it out.

[203] And then the professor is at the very bottom of the steps.

[204] And it's like, when you complete your test, come drop it off and have a great day.

[205] And so then all of a sudden, I'm like, what do I do?

[206] I can't make it down these steps.

[207] Like, I will fall.

[208] So I finish my test.

[209] and, like, I'm starting to freak out.

[210] And the girl sitting next to me, I know loosely.

[211] And I lean over, and I'm like, will you wait for me?

[212] She's like, what?

[213] I was like, will you go down the stairs with me and let me lean on you?

[214] And she was like, okay, I was like, long story.

[215] And so we get out together and then we're walking down the stairs.

[216] And I'm like, arm on the shoulder leaning on this poor girl who's like, what the heck's going on?

[217] You're using her as a crutch.

[218] Exactly.

[219] I mean, I'm tall.

[220] All things could have gone bad.

[221] But I made it down, like, before.

[222] 30 stairs, handed in my test, get out, and I have like three missed calls from campus health.

[223] They're like, you need to go to the hospital.

[224] I was like, okay, what's up?

[225] She's like, well, there's this number that we look at in your blood that signifies kidney health.

[226] And it's usually in a healthy person between like 5 and 700.

[227] And yours is at like 14 ,000.

[228] So you need to go.

[229] Really quick.

[230] I just did the math.

[231] That's 28X, the number it's supposed to be.

[232] That was really impressive.

[233] If it's 500 and 14 ,000, that's insane.

[234] That's math.

[235] That's one of his things.

[236] Dang, son, that was impressive.

[237] The first person I called was my parents.

[238] They were out of town.

[239] I went to college in the same town that I grew up in.

[240] I called my grandma, my sweet, sweet grandma.

[241] And she comes and picks me up.

[242] I just say, hey, they say, I need to go to the hospital to think I have some kind of infection.

[243] Go to the ER.

[244] They let me straight in.

[245] The campus health had called them ahead and said, you need to admit this guy quick.

[246] And the doctor's like, ooh, this looks like some rare STD that's like catching on.

[247] Of course, everyone thinks you're just fucking honest.

[248] Fire with STDs.

[249] I know.

[250] I'm like, wow, I'm actually a pretty innocent dude.

[251] But the worst part is I'm in this hospital room and this doctor is asking detailed questions about my sex life.

[252] And my grandma is sitting right there.

[253] Oh, Jesus.

[254] The kindest woman in the world.

[255] We can laugh about it now, but it was kind of stressful at the time.

[256] I still don't say anything about squads because I was really nervous.

[257] And then the guy was like, the SED test came back negative.

[258] He was like, look, what's going on?

[259] This is really dangerous.

[260] Your kidneys might shut down.

[261] They had already hooked me up to an IV.

[262] I told him about the squats.

[263] I made up some lie.

[264] I was like, yeah, I went to the gym and just pumped for like an hour, like, got carried away.

[265] Listen to this Doors song.

[266] Have you ever heard this song?

[267] And if they would have looked at me, they see this scrawny guy.

[268] The doctor was like, there's no way I've been going to the gym.

[269] It turned out that I had rabdo myosis.

[270] Yes.

[271] My muscles were being consumed by my body and like clogging my kidneys.

[272] And I was peeing them out.

[273] And so I was in the hospital for three days on fluids, just flubes.

[274] Lushing it out and, like, word got around.

[275] Oh, some pledges in the hospital.

[276] My parents came home.

[277] They were really mad because they found out it was about the fraternity.

[278] Oh, my dad shoot out the president and all the people.

[279] Fuck, you fucked up the whole thing.

[280] No, good for you.

[281] I'm kind of proud.

[282] They never did whiskey bar again.

[283] Yes, good.

[284] You shut it down.

[285] Eventually, my dad negotiated it, so I never had to pay for fraternity dues.

[286] Oh, great.

[287] There's some punitive damages assessed.

[288] When I only was in the fraternity for, like, another year and a half.

[289] Once you're on the other side of the hazing, it becomes real of like, oh, what are we doing to these kids?

[290] They're like 18.

[291] And I like just wasn't about it.

[292] I mean, I made some good friends, but there were some super mean guys in there.

[293] Were your fucking quad shredded, though?

[294] They must have been.

[295] Let's talk about the positives.

[296] You had some gains, I bet.

[297] Every time I work out and start doing squats, that song is like in my head.

[298] I'm like, oh, God, never again.

[299] Am I right in that once you've had, Rabdil, you're kind of more prone to have that?

[300] That's what they say, your body trains itself to go to that quicker.

[301] So I have to, like, drink more water.

[302] But yeah, it was kind of scary.

[303] It was definitely a weird way to finish my first semester freshman year.

[304] And the reason I kind of wanted to tell the story was because fraternity is going to be cool, but people die for amazing.

[305] It's ridiculous.

[306] There's a special once a year.

[307] There's always like a 2020 or a dateline, you know, something.

[308] It always happens.

[309] Yeah.

[310] Dax for a unit fraternity or Monica, unisority?

[311] No. And actually, I think I regret this to some degree.

[312] I was very anti.

[313] But one of my best friends, Nate Tuck, greatest guy ever, met all of his fraternity brothers.

[314] They're beautiful dudes.

[315] They all met in Santa Barbara.

[316] They're still great friends.

[317] I'm like, yeah, that's also true.

[318] Yeah, I was just at a wedding with a bunch of my pledge class.

[319] They were all good guys.

[320] I think the fraternity was changing as I was in it.

[321] But you live and you learn.

[322] You make friends.

[323] You move on.

[324] I'm a little disappointed that we went with Bruce instead of chicken neck.

[325] No turkey neck.

[326] Turkey knack.

[327] I'm sorry.

[328] Turkey neck.

[329] Sorry.

[330] I didn't mean to offend you.

[331] Because at the other lineups that aren't whiskey bar, what they'll make you, you do is you'll walk out in this big room where there's like stadium seating.

[332] So all these brothers are like looking at you and they'll turn on the lights and they'll say look at the ceiling and so you have to look up and I've got a long neck because I'm six seven.

[333] Sure.

[334] And so this old guy who was drunk as a skunk was like, look at that turkey neck.

[335] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[336] You're like, I'm done.

[337] That's how it became.

[338] A really great nickname.

[339] Oh, man. Yeah, especially when the sorority comes over for the mixer and they're introducing everyone.

[340] This is chicken neck and turkey neck.

[341] Oh, my gosh.

[342] I think he missed the vote.

[343] I think chicken neck would have been, but a little bit better.

[344] Not that it's warranted, just get a little more stickiness.

[345] They're just jealous because you're six, seven, and they have to give you some sort of me. You're really handsome as well.

[346] You are.

[347] You are.

[348] That's all I wanted to hear.

[349] There were actually a lot of guys that I think had little man syndrome.

[350] Oh, yeah.

[351] Although there's one guy, he was like an ass to me as a fifth year senior.

[352] And three years later, when I was a junior and he was way out of college, he came up to me at a party and was like, hey, man, I was.

[353] I was a real dick to you, but I was addicted to heroin, and I'm trying to make amends.

[354] No way.

[355] And I know I was excessively mad because you were tall.

[356] The guy is like, he's doing great now.

[357] I think he's engaged.

[358] Oh, I'm so delighted to hear that turn.

[359] All right.

[360] Well, Brutus incredible meeting you, a wonderful story.

[361] Thank you all for what you do.

[362] Take care.

[363] Bye.

[364] I know.

[365] It was such a ding, ding, ding, ding.

[366] What a ding, ding, ding.

[367] David Ferrier just sent us a turkey video.

[368] Right before we signed down with Brutus.

[369] Yeah, who ended up being turkey neck.

[370] Oh, my God, AKA.

[371] A .a. Turkey Mac.

[372] A .k .a .a. Chicken neck.

[373] Yeah, he was handsome.

[374] And he just kept getting more and more handsome every second we were talking to him.

[375] Don't you agree?

[376] Yeah, six, seven, I could tell.

[377] Yeah, six seven was exciting.

[378] The fact that he noted that other people were racist was good.

[379] That was a good part.

[380] More brownie points.

[381] Yeah.

[382] There were a few good parts.

[383] I mean it's punctual.

[384] He already uploaded his audio.

[385] Oh, my God.

[386] You can cream yourself.

[387] I'm melting.

[388] Hi, guys.

[389] Hi.

[390] Why?

[391] Monica was just being perverted.

[392] That's why we were laughing so hard.

[393] Oh, what was she saying now?

[394] God, Monica.

[395] I know.

[396] Yeah, we just interviewed a guy that was so gorgeous.

[397] She's kind of fucked up now.

[398] I can speak for myself.

[399] He was very hot.

[400] He used a fake name as well.

[401] We'll be calling you, Catherine.

[402] That's not your real name.

[403] Yes.

[404] There's so much secrecy in fraternities and sororities that I'm nervous.

[405] Yeah.

[406] Like your skull and crossbone kind of.

[407] You have to be careful.

[408] Okay, so please, without exposing yourself to any vigilante response, tell us as much as you can about where it was.

[409] Oh, yeah.

[410] I don't think we did anything that bad.

[411] Okay.

[412] Is there anyone dead in this story?

[413] No, I don't think we'll get a vigilante response.

[414] I'm just worried that other girls would be like, you told the secrets of the system.

[415] That vibe.

[416] But this was all at CU Boulder about 10 years ago.

[417] It's very low key.

[418] Not like southern fraternities and sororities.

[419] I mean, it was still intense, but not like the Bama Rush documentary that you might have seen.

[420] Right.

[421] A lot of people that are outdoorsy, yeah, hikers and snowboarders and all that kind of stuff.

[422] Yeah.

[423] It's a party school, but that wasn't all you did.

[424] You were outside all the time.

[425] Yeah, lovely.

[426] Yeah, it was my sophomore year.

[427] It is my first year living in the sorority house.

[428] There were 80 girls living there.

[429] In one house.

[430] Yeah, in one house.

[431] 80?

[432] Mm -hmm.

[433] How many bedrooms were there?

[434] I think 30 to 40.

[435] Okay, so kind of a dorm.

[436] Yeah, it's basically a dorm.

[437] But there's a kitchen and it's like a mansion kind of in the neighborhood.

[438] Wow.

[439] Okay.

[440] That sounds cool.

[441] I want to live there.

[442] It was fun.

[443] Yeah.

[444] It's all girls too, right?

[445] Yeah.

[446] Well, hold on, pause.

[447] You act like you're an anti -f fraternity.

[448] You would have done so well in a brat.

[449] That was Exhibit A. I just don't hate having 39 female roommates.

[450] Of course.

[451] I understand.

[452] Or actually 79.

[453] Okay, onward and upward.

[454] Wow, 80.

[455] So you go there your sophomore year.

[456] Yeah, and it's our first week in the house.

[457] You get there a week before school starts.

[458] I'm ready.

[459] We're just going to party all week.

[460] But it was actually what we call Sparkle Week in our house, which is essentially a boot camp to prep for rush.

[461] Oh, okay.

[462] You learn how to dance.

[463] You learn how to smile with perfect posture.

[464] You learn your beats on how to take a girl.

[465] and walk her perfectly into the house and then what to talk about.

[466] Everything's very intense.

[467] So it's like cheer camp.

[468] Basically.

[469] Yeah, you're learning all the moves.

[470] Monica's out.

[471] She's now very upset.

[472] That's really insulting, but go on.

[473] It's also very hierarchical.

[474] Certain girls are assigned to a number.

[475] And it's like the ones and twos, you talk to more girls and you lead girls in.

[476] And then the threes and the fours, you're like me where you're kind of on the wall.

[477] Oh, no, you're ranked.

[478] Yeah.

[479] Of course.

[480] Oh.

[481] The whole experience was really exhausting, and you're fine.

[482] If you miss a day, we're not allowed to go out at night.

[483] You're working from 7 a .m. to, like, 9 p .m. And we're seeing other girls and other sororities are going out, but we're not allowed to.

[484] We're on the fifth day of Sparkle Week, and you bring the seniors in to watch us do, like, a day one.

[485] This is a dry run.

[486] Yeah, basically.

[487] Okay.

[488] Dress rehearsal, if you will.

[489] There we go.

[490] Now it's also theater camp.

[491] Okay.

[492] Another dis.

[493] We do this first day dance, and we're putting our all into it, smiling, like we've never danced before.

[494] We finished and we're just waiting for our feedback.

[495] And the seniors, they just totally roast us.

[496] They're like, you're giving our sorority a bad name.

[497] What have you been doing all week?

[498] I think they called us sluts.

[499] They said everyone on campus thinks you're sluts.

[500] Oh, wow.

[501] You're not taking this seriously.

[502] We're going to get an awful pledge class because of you.

[503] Some girls are crying.

[504] Did anyone want to say like, hey, we already did that hazing bullshit?

[505] We already pledged and we're in.

[506] Why is this happening again?

[507] Yeah.

[508] I would feel like this was false advertising.

[509] Honestly, this was their only form of hazing.

[510] As freshmen girls, they just want you to stay in because they want you to like live in the house.

[511] So we didn't really get much hazing.

[512] Okay.

[513] This was the hazing.

[514] Basically.

[515] Once you're already locked into the house, you already signed a lease here for the next year.

[516] I think if they did this to us before, a lot of girls would.

[517] would have just left.

[518] All right.

[519] I see.

[520] They kind of flip the whole thing.

[521] Yeah, but then it's like, why?

[522] What's the purpose?

[523] They just really want to hate somebody.

[524] They just really want to be mean.

[525] They want to be mean.

[526] Mean girls.

[527] Whole movie.

[528] So they're doing this and we're just distraught.

[529] They leave the room and then the doors shut and the lights go out and someone starts banging on the doors.

[530] We're all panicking.

[531] My friend grabs my arm and she says, they're going to beat us up.

[532] They come back in and they're like, we're just kidding.

[533] You guys did great.

[534] We love you.

[535] You guys, you did awesome.

[536] We're so proud of you.

[537] We have a surprise.

[538] So it's a total whirlwind.

[539] We don't know what to think.

[540] A lot of us just finished crying.

[541] They then round us up into groups eight to ten apiece.

[542] They tell us to go upstairs and put on all black.

[543] We're not allowed to take a shower or do our makeup or anything.

[544] And they give each group a disposable camera.

[545] And we basically launch into like a scavenger hunt.

[546] They took all of our phones and sent us around campus like chug a beer here, flash your tits at this door.

[547] Oh, wow.

[548] Okay, great.

[549] And they had just called you sluts and then they're telling you to go flat.

[550] Yeah, well, they got to go clean up their image, obviously.

[551] But honestly, we were all just psyched.

[552] We were so deprived of, like, hanging out and having fun for so long that we were just like, yeah, we are in.

[553] It was all going to end at this fraternity annex house.

[554] So we had this like arbitrary $10 sparkle week fine.

[555] And they were like, that $10 actually went to buying each of you guys a bottle of champagne.

[556] So we're going to give you each a bottle of champagne, and we're going to bust into this fraternity house.

[557] They think they're having a meeting, but we're going to pour champagne on them and have a party.

[558] Oh, my God.

[559] Champagne room.

[560] The key word is fraternity annex.

[561] It was not like a big house.

[562] So there wasn't a lot of room.

[563] You got maybe 40 guys in this residential living room and 80 girls outside just like all completely fucked up.

[564] We bust in.

[565] I think that the boys were actually getting hazed.

[566] themselves.

[567] They're surprised.

[568] We're pouring champagne on everyone.

[569] It turns into a big dance party.

[570] Everyone's having fun, fist bumping, booty dancing, Monica.

[571] Booty bumping.

[572] Wow.

[573] Booty booty.

[574] Imagine a residential living room full of 70 bottles of champagne and hundreds of people.

[575] It's just not built for it.

[576] The floor becomes completely sticky and waterlogged.

[577] Cut two, 45 minutes later, we end up busting through the floor.

[578] Oh my goodness, right through the floor.

[579] What is like a flat surface becomes like a complete U shape.

[580] Taco shell.

[581] Yeah, it kind of just caves in.

[582] Oh, my God.

[583] And people falling and people getting hit in the head with champagne bottles.

[584] It was just a complete disaster.

[585] And these poor guys, they didn't sign up for this.

[586] Like, they thought they were just hosting a meeting at their house.

[587] They just moved into that house, like a week prior.

[588] Oh, you broke it and half.

[589] The start of the semester just absolutely wrecked it.

[590] Wow.

[591] You guys danced until you broke the floor.

[592] That's like a rap song.

[593] There's like lines about that.

[594] Sure.

[595] Rush doesn't stop.

[596] So we were just back to the normal grind the next day.

[597] Oh, boy.

[598] We were all hurting pretty bad.

[599] But it was one of the most fun nights of college and it brought us all closer together.

[600] I still have some of those disposable camera photos that hopefully we'll never see the light of day.

[601] That does sound terribly fun, I got to say.

[602] It does.

[603] It does sound fun.

[604] Especially when that floor breaks, when I'm not.

[605] everyone's booty bump in.

[606] It's like, I mean, they think the earth's shaking.

[607] Oh, wow.

[608] I feel the earth shake under my feet.

[609] Incredible story, Catherine.

[610] I'm glad you didn't get swallowed into the bowels of the house, of course, and that you live to complete glitter week.

[611] Sparkle.

[612] Sparkle.

[613] Sparkle.

[614] It should be called glitter week.

[615] Some of the girls tried to recreate it the next year, and we ended up getting put on probation.

[616] Oh, for breaking to me floors.

[617] I think that was the end of it.

[618] I don't know if they do it anymore.

[619] Oh, wow.

[620] Well, Catherine, thank you so much for telling us that story.

[621] Bye.

[622] Thank you, guys.

[623] Bye.

[624] We've all been there.

[625] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[626] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[627] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[628] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[629] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[630] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[631] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[632] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[633] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon music.

[634] What's up, guys?

[635] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good, and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[636] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation, and I don't mean just friends, I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[637] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[638] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcast.

[639] Hello, hello.

[640] Hello.

[641] Is that a snow globe?

[642] What's that mic you're using called?

[643] Yeah, the blue snowball.

[644] The blue snowball.

[645] Oh my God, that looks fun.

[646] I remember that one.

[647] I'm using my car as a studio right now.

[648] Ironically, I'm in band practice right now.

[649] And our studio has all of the equipment needed, but terrible internet.

[650] Right.

[651] It's a perfectly sound deadened room, but you have to be in your car.

[652] Exactly.

[653] Are you excited that your name is in kind of pop culture a lot right now?

[654] now?

[655] One n or two ends is one question.

[656] That's a great question.

[657] I wouldn't even know.

[658] But Connor McGregor, that's a famous Connor now.

[659] Yeah, he's got the one end.

[660] What's the pop star movie with Andy Sandberg?

[661] I think it's called pop star.

[662] Yeah, there you go.

[663] His name's Connor.

[664] But also, Connor's a main character on Succession.

[665] That is true.

[666] Now, can I just be honest and judge a book by its cover and say that when I look at you, I'm not thinking frat.

[667] No. Funny enough, this is actually a club lacrosse story.

[668] Oh, okay.

[669] Now that tracks.

[670] Jason.

[671] I bet a lot of of the lacrosse guys were in frats.

[672] Yeah, the whole stigma, definitely.

[673] And I was once a bro until I started smoking weed and doing psychedelics.

[674] Right.

[675] That'll take the bro right out of you.

[676] Exactly.

[677] So tell us, yeah, what year and where were we at?

[678] Yeah, this was 2010 or 11.

[679] I had grown up playing lacrosse.

[680] I went to a small D2 school in Pennsylvania, but I was kind of burnt out at the time.

[681] didn't really like playing lacrosse as a job.

[682] After one semester, I transferred to OU, and I took a break from lacrosse.

[683] My junior year, I decided to try out for the club lacrosse team.

[684] And I was part of the new kids there, although I was a junior, they wanted me to participate in the quote -unquote initiation process.

[685] In retrospect, bad idea.

[686] One night at lacrosse practice, they said, hey, we have a big party going on at the Lax house.

[687] And right after practice, you guys are going to.

[688] to meet us there at the house.

[689] What town is OU in?

[690] Athens, Ohio.

[691] Oh, wow.

[692] It's a very beautiful, beautiful place.

[693] I believe it.

[694] It's where I met my wife, where I proposed to her, where we got our puppy.

[695] A lot of good memories there other than this memory.

[696] So it's the classic hazing ordeal.

[697] So we get into the backyard and they put us in a line.

[698] There's probably five or six of us.

[699] And they put blindfolds on us.

[700] We go down to the basement.

[701] Again, there's a party going on upstairs.

[702] But it's a very small, dingy, hot muggy basement.

[703] There's a fog machine.

[704] All this is classic, the blindfold, the shitty basement, yeah.

[705] Yeah, laser machines.

[706] Do you guys know what Edward 40 hands is?

[707] Yeah, the beers.

[708] Yeah, you take two 40 ounce malt liquors, like Colt 45s.

[709] You duct tape them to your hands and you don't do anything other than drink that until both of them are gone.

[710] You can't even pee or anything like that.

[711] So they take our blindfolds off.

[712] They tape the 40s to our hands.

[713] I'm super in at this point, I want you to know.

[714] Dog machine, laser's going.

[715] Vibes right.

[716] They said, you have to finish both of these 40s, and then you can go upstairs to the party.

[717] You know, okay, I'm a junior at this point.

[718] I can handle all these young kids.

[719] And the last person to finish the 40s has to take a mile run in their boxers.

[720] Okay.

[721] Again, classic.

[722] Very textbook.

[723] So little did we know that 40s were microwave beforehand.

[724] Oh, my.

[725] That was disgusting.

[726] Hot eggy malt liquor.

[727] Ew.

[728] We're drinking as fast as we can.

[729] They're coming down and giving us microwave tequila shots at the same time.

[730] Kids are like puking in the back corner and we're just trying to like finish stuff.

[731] So finally I get it done and I go upstairs thinking everything is over.

[732] I go to the keg and there are guys who finish before me in chairs getting haircuts.

[733] Oh.

[734] You have to do that before you get to the keg.

[735] So I had to do that and then I was able to drink from the keg.

[736] Really quick though.

[737] How big were these Haircuts.

[738] Mine was a monk thing.

[739] So they shaved everything, but the little, like, you're ruining you for months.

[740] At this point, I'm like, what am I doing?

[741] I'm a junior right now.

[742] Too old for this shit.

[743] So that was kind of like the last thing that I remember from the night.

[744] From then on, I just have flashes of things that I remember.

[745] So I went out back and smoked some devil's lettuce in the backyard with a few people.

[746] The devil's cabbage?

[747] Yep.

[748] The next thing I know I'm laying on my back looking up at the medics in an ambulance.

[749] Oh boy.

[750] Okay.

[751] Where it takes a turn.

[752] Okay.

[753] And the next thing I know, I'm laying in the hospital bed.

[754] I have a catheter stuck in my dick.

[755] My friends are visiting me a bit later that night.

[756] People are coming in and out.

[757] I had this friend during high school, Caitlin.

[758] She went to OU and her mom was one of my favorite teachers at my high school.

[759] She was also in Athens because the father was working at OU at the time.

[760] The next thing I remember is Caitlin and Mrs. Kay will call her picking me up from the hospital, bringing me back to their house.

[761] My sister was going there at the time.

[762] She's two years younger than me. We were bawling her eyes out together.

[763] She thought I had died.

[764] Oh, boy.

[765] And the next thing I remember is Mrs. Kay telling me that my parents were on their way from Cleveland, which is three and a half hours away.

[766] Not great.

[767] I found out later that they drove like the entire way in silence and made it there in like two and a half hours.

[768] And then finally being given new clothes and put to bed.

[769] The next morning I wake up, my parents are there.

[770] My sister, Caitlin and Mrs. Kay, lots of crying.

[771] Shaved my head to get rid of the, old monk haircut.

[772] It was a crazy night, and obviously I didn't remember actually what happened.

[773] In the backyard, it was kind of like the backyard, then a three -foot drop, the neighbor's driveway, and then a brick wall.

[774] I had somehow stumbled off the ledge and smashed into the brick wall.

[775] I kind of like also dragged it.

[776] Wait, and you just, for the listener, put your hand up to your face.

[777] So you went face first into the brick wall.

[778] Oh, and slid down it.

[779] Yes.

[780] Oh.

[781] So I lost my two front teeth, I broke my nose, I suffered like a severe concussion.

[782] I still think I have a little bit of brain damage.

[783] Or maybe I'm just that weird.

[784] Who knows?

[785] I bit through my lip and then I scraped the shit out of my chin.

[786] So it was a big mess.

[787] It was bad.

[788] And so it didn't hit me that hard as to what happened, but I would start running into people from the party that see me there.

[789] And they thought I was dead.

[790] It was underage drinking as well.

[791] The whole party ended up leaving.

[792] No one had called the ambulance except for my friend Caitlin.

[793] Oh my God.

[794] She found out about it.

[795] She was like three houses down.

[796] She called the ambulance, then called her mom.

[797] They're like my guardian angels.

[798] Nobody at that whole fucking party called 911 and they thought you were dead.

[799] Yeah, saving their own ass.

[800] Yeah, there was a girl that I ran into like a couple months later that thought she had seen a ghost.

[801] And she said that she was holding me in her arms like my head and I was gushing blood.

[802] She thought I was dead.

[803] And then she went home.

[804] Yeah, exactly.

[805] I took a shower and I went to bed, slept like a baby.

[806] God.

[807] Pretty crazy story.

[808] When all is said and done, I got my teeth fixed, my injuries healed.

[809] I still played for a little bit on the lacrosse team.

[810] How did it affect the friendships you had on the team?

[811] What was everyone like, that guy is fucking weird.

[812] He goes way too hard.

[813] He has a junior, too.

[814] I got along with everybody.

[815] I have a couple good friends this day from the team.

[816] I didn't end up pressing charges or anything.

[817] In retrospect, I could have, but again, they were my friends.

[818] I was put into the situation.

[819] I should have known better.

[820] You're probably trying to decide if there's really malice behind any of it, which probably not.

[821] Just real bad decision making.

[822] Just kids doing kids stuff.

[823] Yeah, some kids appointed the leader.

[824] Like, you've got to remember that.

[825] There's always someone at the top.

[826] Some other 20 -year -old is deciding this is a good course of action.

[827] Yeah.

[828] And not getting any pushback.

[829] It's safe to say that the hazing there stopped.

[830] I guess, is the silver lining in it all.

[831] I got to imagine your mom and dad must have been so sad.

[832] Their little boy went away to college, and they came back in his hairs all destroy, his faces fucked up.

[833] Like, they ruined my little boy.

[834] I would have been livid.

[835] I have an 18 -month -old, and looking back at that today, I couldn't imagine what they went through.

[836] Yeah, you're their little baby.

[837] Little baby.

[838] Right.

[839] And I convinced them to go to Ohio University from, like, a D -2 college that had structure with lacrosse, you know, was the right choice.

[840] You had to answer the call of the wild.

[841] Yeah.

[842] Oh, boy.

[843] I learned soon thereafter that, you know, mixing marijuana and alcohol just isn't good for me. It never worked for me. Listen, I was a pretty high -quality addict.

[844] I could hold all my shit.

[845] But if ever, and I would do it to myself once every six months, I'd convince myself.

[846] No, yeah, joint sounds great.

[847] And 100 % of the time, I'm throwing up.

[848] I'm fucking miserable.

[849] They do not pair well.

[850] exactly yes you got a hats off to the dude from big lobowski because he was he was able to juggle it all white Russians and dubage wow devils well I'm glad you're alive me too Connor I was just listening to the Charlie day fact check yesterday and then I got the email that my story had gone through I've been running into a lot of sim stuff lately and throughout my life looking back again on certain people that I've met even playing lacrosse.

[851] I met the Powell brothers who are like the mannings of the lacrosse world.

[852] I started playing music because of Dave Matthews and I got to open up for him a couple years ago and meet him.

[853] This whole thing is kind of sim too.

[854] Yet more proof.

[855] Yeah.

[856] Yeah.

[857] Just people that have changed my life in a lot of ways actually delivered packages with Kristen's uncle at UPS on winter breaks.

[858] Do you know she was there yesterday by the way in Cleveland?

[859] Awesome.

[860] Yeah, her whole Bell family's there.

[861] There's like hundreds of them.

[862] So that was funny.

[863] And then we have, you know, an addict that's really close to us in the family.

[864] And he overdosed on opiates and then had a stroke.

[865] And literally like a day or two after that, your day seven episode came out.

[866] And it really changed our mindset of not only what the addict is going through, but also the loved ones like you, Monica, that side of the story.

[867] So it's a good learning lesson and perfect timing, I'd say.

[868] Wow.

[869] Good job.

[870] That's wild.

[871] That is a lot of sim.

[872] That is.

[873] They're everywhere.

[874] I think we're finding each other, though, the real players.

[875] This is Eric's theory.

[876] It's like we're all kind of the players in the Sim are kind of getting wise to it and we're going to band together.

[877] The problem is, is like, then do what?

[878] I don't want anything to change.

[879] That's my tricky thing.

[880] Yeah, well, he also thinks once we all figure it out, it'll stop.

[881] It'll go away.

[882] They'll just wake us up or whatever it is.

[883] Yeah, the system failed if we all figured it out.

[884] Or it's like part of the game.

[885] Eventually, then you figure it out and then that's over.

[886] Ignorance is bliss.

[887] Yeah.

[888] All roads lead back to ignorance is bliss.

[889] Yeah, I don't know.

[890] what part I play in Monica's dad's simulation.

[891] We don't know yet, TBD.

[892] But you guys are interacting right now.

[893] That's true.

[894] That answers itself, really.

[895] Well, this was great.

[896] Yeah, it was really nice meeting you, Connor, and thanks for saying all that.

[897] Yeah, great me and you guys as well.

[898] I really appreciate it.

[899] Since I ditched my band members, our band is called Front Porch Lights.

[900] You can find it on Spotify.

[901] Front Porch Lights.

[902] I'm going to check this out.

[903] What instrument do you play?

[904] I write the songs and sing and play guitar.

[905] Awesome.

[906] Oh, wonderful.

[907] Maybe we wouldn't have ever had that if you hadn't hit that brick wall.

[908] Maybe it like jolted some creativity.

[909] Some vocal chord changes that there for sure.

[910] All right.

[911] Well, nice to meet you.

[912] Yeah, take care, Connor.

[913] Pleasure being you as well.

[914] All right.

[915] Bye.

[916] Hello.

[917] Hello.

[918] Oh, my God.

[919] Hi.

[920] Is this real?

[921] Yes, this is real.

[922] Oh, I'm Emily.

[923] Wonderful.

[924] What part of the country are you in?

[925] I'm in San Diego.

[926] Most of our friends are from San Diego.

[927] Yeah.

[928] Our whole pod is from San Diego.

[929] And I feel like they represent San Diego well.

[930] Oh, big time.

[931] Best and the brightest.

[932] Exactly.

[933] Exactly.

[934] Does your sorority and or frat house story take place in San Diego?

[935] It does not, but it takes place in California.

[936] Oh, please tell us.

[937] So I went to Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo.

[938] Oh, sure.

[939] Central Coast, a little bit above Santa Barbara.

[940] So this took place in 2015.

[941] I was a college freshman.

[942] So Cal Poly, their biggest party day of the year is for St. Patrick's Day, but they call it St. Fratty's Day.

[943] Oh.

[944] I don't associate Cal Poly with sororities and fraternities.

[945] Do you have that same feeling?

[946] I felt like it was like a tech.

[947] So it's an engineering school.

[948] So that's like kind of what it's known for.

[949] But like one of the best.

[950] Exactly.

[951] So maybe that's why we think it's too smart.

[952] Yeah, I think of like English lit majors and tailgators.

[953] That's who does fraternities.

[954] Right.

[955] There's a major in the business school at a lot of schools, especially southern schools, that people who don't want to do anything.

[956] Okay.

[957] Cal Poly was kind of the same.

[958] It was definitely like engineering heavy, but there was something like the ag business guys.

[959] Sure.

[960] Ag B. But there was a Greek life there.

[961] It wasn't like as intense as Southern School of Greek life.

[962] There's definitely like work hard, play hard, I would say.

[963] Oh, I like it.

[964] So yeah.

[965] So St. Patrick's Day.

[966] It's like the biggest party of the year.

[967] We wake up at 6 a .m. is like when the parties start.

[968] Daxi would have loved it.

[969] Oh, sure.

[970] Sign me up.

[971] Me and my friends trying to be responsible, went to bed at like midnight.

[972] Super rested.

[973] Yeah.

[974] Yeah, exactly.

[975] Some of my friends stayed up all night.

[976] But.

[977] We're like, okay, we'll go to bed, get at least some hours asleep.

[978] So, wake up at like 3 a .m in the dorms to people just, like, blasting Irish music.

[979] Oh, wow.

[980] Drinking jello shots at 3 a .m that we made illegally in our dorms the night before.

[981] Yes.

[982] Like toilet wine.

[983] Yes.

[984] Yeah, exactly.

[985] We go to like this pregame that starts at 4 a .m. Oh, my God.

[986] Pregame at 4 a .m. For some context, like this house that it's at, regardless of like which frat lives in it that year, always host this party.

[987] So we walk out of the.

[988] pregame house we're at and the streets are just lined with people like 2 ,000 people in the streets.

[989] I want to go witness this.

[990] I have a lot of pictures.

[991] We go to the main house and it's super packed.

[992] So it's one big, two -story house and then with like a huge backyard that has two smaller houses behind it.

[993] We squeeze our way back there and we're like, hey, it's so packed.

[994] What if we went up on that roof of like that other house?

[995] So we have people help us up.

[996] So now we're like standing on this roof to have more space.

[997] When we get up there, there's like 10 people.

[998] We're about to repeat this.

[999] This is incredible.

[1000] We've got a theme going out.

[1001] if I'm right.

[1002] I'm sorry I interrupted you.

[1003] Okay, so 10 of you up there.

[1004] Up there for probably 20 minutes.

[1005] More people keep coming up.

[1006] Like that's kind of the only place you can like have any breathing room.

[1007] Oh my God.

[1008] And I don't really notice how many people are up there.

[1009] So I'm just like, you know, having a great time living my best life up there.

[1010] And then all of a sudden, everything just goes black.

[1011] Oh.

[1012] And I felt roof shingles like on my hands.

[1013] So it was like an A frame house and it just completely gave out and collapsed in on itself.

[1014] Oh, wait.

[1015] Okay.

[1016] So.

[1017] How is she touching that?

[1018] Help me. Well, I think she's sitting face out with her butt on the shingles.

[1019] And then it goes like this.

[1020] She goes over backwards and is now can feel it on her hands.

[1021] Yeah.

[1022] So I just remember being so out of it in shock that all of a sudden I was just like my hands are cut up.

[1023] And it was like all black because everyone had fallen like through and like on top of each other.

[1024] Oh my God.

[1025] I had an engineering school.

[1026] Total structural failure.

[1027] So a lot of engineers up there that didn't think that went through.

[1028] I'm down there.

[1029] It's, like, completely dark, and I try and stand up, and I can't move my legs at all.

[1030] I'm in total shock, like, convinced that I'm paralyzed.

[1031] Like, I have no idea what's going on.

[1032] Of course.

[1033] Eventually, people start grabbing people, like, out of the rubble and, like, pulling them off of me, and someone carries me out to the street.

[1034] And I'm, like, blacking in and out.

[1035] I'm, like, going out of consciousness.

[1036] So I think I was, like, for sure, going into shock, which was wild.

[1037] And so I ended up breaking my leg in two places.

[1038] Ooh.

[1039] Ooh.

[1040] Fib and Tibb or did you get a femur?

[1041] Fib and Tibb and Tibb.

[1042] Luckily, no femur.

[1043] Oh, yeah.

[1044] One girl got impaled through her leg, an inch away from her femoral artery.

[1045] Oh, fuck.

[1046] Yeah.

[1047] And so they were like, if that had hit, she, like, could have bled out.

[1048] Of course, yeah.

[1049] Oh, my God.

[1050] So do we start to hear responders?

[1051] Like, do you hear ambulances and stuff?

[1052] Totally.

[1053] So at this point, like, the streets blocked off.

[1054] There's sirens and stuff.

[1055] Everyone's wasted.

[1056] For, like, five hours they've been drunk.

[1057] And it's 6 a .m. A bunch of drunk people handling the situation.

[1058] I'm sure when the responders showed up, they were like, oh, my God, this is the worst possible scenario.

[1059] Exactly.

[1060] And I was like 18 years old too.

[1061] Also, she definitely would have bled out because if she had been drinking, her blood would have been loose.

[1062] I didn't even think about that.

[1063] I didn't think about a loose blood.

[1064] But yeah, so I'm laying going in and out and this guy's yelling at me like, I'm going to get a ticket.

[1065] You have to get up and like leave.

[1066] What?

[1067] My friend has the great idea to call an Uber to the hospital.

[1068] Oh.

[1069] Is that a great idea?

[1070] I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not.

[1071] I was being sarcastic.

[1072] Okay.

[1073] We didn't want to pay for.

[1074] like an ambulance.

[1075] So we call an Uber and it's like at the end of the street.

[1076] So I'm getting like carried to it.

[1077] And then the paramedics see me and they're like, no, come with us.

[1078] My fair part is when I was getting put into the ambulance.

[1079] I told my friend and I was like, hey, you need to call my sister.

[1080] I need someone to know because like I was too scared to call my parents then.

[1081] Yeah.

[1082] So she calls her and she goes, hey, Emily's in the ambulance and just hangs up.

[1083] Oh my.

[1084] Is this the same genius who suggested the Uber?

[1085] Yes.

[1086] Oh my God.

[1087] She's on fire.

[1088] She was next to me, too, and she was fine.

[1089] She was fine.

[1090] Well, it always happens.

[1091] She's probably just a bit drunker than you.

[1092] They do say that about car accidents.

[1093] You're loose.

[1094] I think I broke her fall.

[1095] Whoa.

[1096] Oh, my God.

[1097] But no one died that day.

[1098] No. Luckily, no one was actually in there because someone, for sure, I think, would have died.

[1099] But, like, 50 people in the roof coming in on you.

[1100] Yeah.

[1101] Oh, my.

[1102] So then I was in a cast and crutches for, like, four months.

[1103] And I had to start, like, my classes the next quarter.

[1104] And I remember being in my physics class and I was in the front row because it was in a big lecture hall and I was on crudges so I couldn't go up the stairs.

[1105] The professor asked me, he's like, oh, what happened?

[1106] And I was like super embarrassed.

[1107] And I was just like, um, the roof and like the entire lecture hall like busts out laughing.

[1108] Like everyone's dying.

[1109] Because everyone knows that this has happened.

[1110] Yeah.

[1111] Wow.

[1112] Who got it the worst?

[1113] The gal who got the impaled leg?

[1114] I think so there was a few concussions.

[1115] Only eight people went to the hospital out of like 50.

[1116] So I feel like it should have been worse.

[1117] So I don't know if the alcohol helped.

[1118] Yeah, sometimes the resilience of humans will shock you.

[1119] Seriously.

[1120] Or even, like, I saw a video the other day of a bear get hit really hard by a car.

[1121] And then it just totally walked away.

[1122] Didn't give a shit.

[1123] That's nuts that an animal can withstand that.

[1124] We're animals, guys.

[1125] We are.

[1126] Yeah.

[1127] As is evident the way everyone was behaving at this party.

[1128] Exactly.

[1129] Climbing like monkeys on the roof.

[1130] Yeah.

[1131] Too many monkeys jumping on the roof.

[1132] Oh, my God.

[1133] I had to call my dad at, like, 7 a .m. and tell him what happened.

[1134] The first thing is that he was like, I sent you there to become an engineer.

[1135] Like, you should have known.

[1136] But, like, it was strong enough.

[1137] Victim shaming.

[1138] Yeah.

[1139] It's first stop for all of us.

[1140] Are you an engineer now?

[1141] I am.

[1142] What variety?

[1143] I don't think you're an electrical engineer.

[1144] I'm not.

[1145] I don't think you're a structural engineer.

[1146] That would have been really ironic if I was.

[1147] Yeah.

[1148] So I'd say you're a mechanical engineer.

[1149] Kind of.

[1150] Chemical.

[1151] Biomedical engineer.

[1152] That's the cool one.

[1153] That's the cool shit?

[1154] Oh, man. Biomedical engineer.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] So it combines anatomy and mechanical engineering to make like implants for medical devices and stuff.

[1157] Sure, sure, sure.

[1158] So you're brilliant is what we're learning.

[1159] Unless I'm on a roof at 6 a .m. Oh, wow.

[1160] Harrowing.

[1161] Yes, that's quite a story.

[1162] I'm glad you survived that.

[1163] Thank you.

[1164] Me too.

[1165] There's some great videos of it on YouTube.

[1166] There are.

[1167] I have one pulled up.

[1168] I don't know if you guys will be able to see it.

[1169] Yeah, yeah, let's try.

[1170] Let's try.

[1171] Okay, and I have pictures of it and stuff.

[1172] Can you see that?

[1173] Yes, yes.

[1174] That's the house.

[1175] I have to replay it.

[1176] Oh, my God.

[1177] Oh, my God.

[1178] Yep, we're going to see it one more time.

[1179] Oh, my, that is really scary.

[1180] Wild, right?

[1181] Well, Emily, that was an incredible story.

[1182] I'm glad that you got out of it with just a cast.

[1183] Definitely could have been a lot worse.

[1184] I presume, though, that you went hard again the following St. Patrick's Day?

[1185] 100 % every year.

[1186] I could tell.

[1187] I could tell.

[1188] Not going to let that stop you.

[1189] No, no. That was an incredible story.

[1190] Thank you so much for telling us.

[1191] And it's a great to meet you.

[1192] Yeah.

[1193] It's a nice to meet you guys.

[1194] All right.

[1195] Well, take care with everything.

[1196] Bye.

[1197] Bye.

[1198] People should YouTube that.

[1199] She didn't really tell us what to search, but I guess.

[1200] I think if you do Cal Poly, Routies Day.

[1201] St. Patrick's Day, Roof Collapse.

[1202] Yep.

[1203] I think you'll find it.

[1204] That was scary and fun.

[1205] Yeah, I'm not shocked that there was some carnage.

[1206] Yeah.

[1207] But everyone is alive.

[1208] Everyone we talked to was a lot.

[1209] Everyone we talked to you seemed to be alive.

[1210] During that last one, I started to get scared that I've left my stove on.

[1211] Okay.

[1212] I am scared that I've left my stove on.

[1213] You didn't.

[1214] And even if you did, a stove's fine being on.

[1215] As long as you don't have papers next to it.

[1216] Yeah.

[1217] All right.

[1218] Well, I love you.

[1219] That was fun.

[1220] Super fun.

[1221] Love you.

[1222] Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[1223] We don't have a theme song.

[1224] Oh.

[1225] Okay, great.

[1226] We don't have a song.

[1227] for this new show so here I go go go we're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of armcherry's we'll get some suggestions on the flyer rhyme dish on the flyer rhyme dish enjoy follow armchair expert on the wondry app amazon music or wherever you get your podcast you can listen to every episode of armchair expert early and ad free right now by joining wondry plus in the wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[1228] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.