#1079 - Tony Hinchcliffe

[0] Boom, and we're live.

[1] Jamie, where did you get that awesome shirt?

[2] Show everybody your shirt.

[3] Can you show the people your shirt?

[4] Yeah, I picked it up yesterday.

[5] It says, believe that.

[6] Believe that.

[7] It's from the hundreds.

[8] I saw it at the store yesterday.

[9] What is the hundreds?

[10] The hundreds is a streetwear brand.

[11] It's a store in Fairfax.

[12] I thought it was like a scene in a movie.

[13] I was confused.

[14] Oh, so.

[15] I just saw it and I was like, dope.

[16] Yeah, I mean, that's a combination of that girl who's on Dr. Phil's show and UFO.

[17] Sort of, yeah.

[18] Yeah.

[19] Believe that.

[20] Because, like, believe Believe is so X -Files the year to 1999 or whatever it was.

[21] Like, when was the X -Files on?

[22] It's on now.

[23] But when, yeah, right, but when was the original one?

[24] Yeah, when did it start?

[25] 90s, late 90s, mid -90s.

[26] Yeah, I feel like that.

[27] Believe is that, that's that poster.

[28] And I always just, you can't disconnect them from the poster in Mulder's office.

[29] But believe that, that's today.

[30] You nailed it.

[31] Whoever made that shirt I want to believe It's a cool shirt Is it I want to believe That would sit on the posters?

[32] Yeah believe that's better But I do want to believe Of all the things Of all the stupid things I would love to believe That someone like got real footage of UFOs Like more than almost Any other weird Bigfoot type Lock Nest monster All the really nutty shit If they could find out one of those was true fucking aliens number one, right?

[33] For sure.

[34] Even if you just knew for sure that you saw a real ship.

[35] Or if the aliens looked like Bigfoot, then you'd kill two birds with one stone.

[36] That was the actual theory.

[37] Ah.

[38] There's some of these Bigfoot people are so.

[39] There's spectrums of Bigfoot people, man. There's Bigfoot people, there's people that are like real primatologists, like Jane Goodall.

[40] Jane Goodall believes in Bigfoot.

[41] Believe it or not.

[42] It's really fascinating.

[43] There's a whole interview with her where she says she's sure of it.

[44] She said she's sure that there's another species.

[45] How can she be sure?

[46] Well, let's play the clip.

[47] See if we can find that clip.

[48] who's jane goodall again she's a world famous primatologist who did some groundbreaking work with chimpanzees she essentially live with chimpanzees she's so powerful i mean this lady's amazing if you watch her documentaries so when someone like her says something like that i'm like okay well i should shut the fuck up and stay in my lane what i'm going to argue with jane goodall about primates and it used to be a real thing they used to really be a gigantopithecus an eight -foot tall orangutan -like thing that probably walked on two legs and she believed it's real she thinks it did exist or she thinks it exists right now wow yeah wow I don't think it was taken out of context because I'm pretty sure it was someone asked her a question and then she gave a long and detailed answer based on like what we know about certain chimpanzee subspecies that are really really hard to find like we're just finding out I think they figured it out from like the 1990s there's a giant version of chimpanzees that lives in the Congo they're called them Bondo apes or there's a couple different names for them they call them but they sleep on the ground like gorillas they're giant chimps I love that stuff man I just watched Planet Earth 2 the other day just mesmerized just physically saying like wow wow I don't think a normal person understands what you're talking about when you say a six foot tall chimp.

[49] I just don't think they know what you're talking about.

[50] You're talking about like a super gorilla.

[51] It's like not, it's, it's way scarier than a gorilla because they're chimps.

[52] Chimps are scarier.

[53] Chimps are predators.

[54] Chimps eat monkeys, man. I mean, they, they, people want to associate chimps with bananas and nuts and stuff like that.

[55] They eat that stuff too.

[56] But they also eat monkeys.

[57] Scary.

[58] Dude.

[59] They're ruthless motherfuckers.

[60] What is this, buddy?

[61] It's from an NPR conversation.

[62] Yeah, see if you can find the actual recording because it's fascinating when you hear the tone of our voice.

[63] She says something like, I'm sure of it.

[64] Wow.

[65] Because she has this super powerful voice.

[66] I mean, this lady is a fucking biologist, badass.

[67] She's living with chimps, man. Just hanging out with them constantly.

[68] Do you know what kind of a human being you have to be to be able to keep your shit together in a tribe of wild chimps where they accept you?

[69] It's scary.

[70] They don't just smash your fucking.

[71] fucking head in for a goof.

[72] That is crazy.

[73] Dude, come on, man. Well, here's, this is the transcription, but I'm pretty sure that...

[74] It says sound bite here, but there's no link or anything.

[75] Oh, I know it exists, dude.

[76] Try it find it on YouTube, maybe.

[77] All right.

[78] Shit.

[79] But what did she say there?

[80] Well, now you'll be amazed when I tell you that I'm sure that they exist.

[81] Yeah.

[82] Yeah, that's what it was.

[83] That's how she said it.

[84] Well, now you will be amazed when I tell you that I'm sure that they exist.

[85] that's basically how she said it did you always believe that they existed she says well I'm a romantic so I always wanted that and there you have it where does I say about evidence she's also talking to Dr. Meldrum who you talked to here yeah we had Dr. Meldrum what is his full name?

[86] Jeffrey Meldrum and he's a professor right I think he brought in the big foot foot he was a guy Dr. Meldrum was a really nice guy but he also said he'd be willing to cut off a finger to know that Bigfoot was real.

[87] I'm going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, what finger?

[88] Like a pinky?

[89] Yeah.

[90] Which one would you go with?

[91] Pinky?

[92] No, because you'd want the pinky because that's the farthest leverage to the other side of the thumb, right?

[93] So it's sort of like a claw.

[94] Maybe the ring finger?

[95] It's good point.

[96] The middle finger seems pretty pointless.

[97] Is that her?

[98] This is the interview, but I don't know where in the interview it is.

[99] Oh, okay.

[100] I'm trying to take a guess.

[101] Well, you're going to be amazed when I tell you, I'm sure they exist.

[102] It's like a scene in a movie when she says it, because here she is this esteemed scientist, right?

[103] And you're expecting, well, there's no evidence.

[104] And right now, that's just, we think of it as legend.

[105] It could possibly be a bunch of different things that people think they saw.

[106] Voice and delivery is important when it comes to being convinced of something.

[107] You think about, like, you know, all the way to just comedians.

[108] You know, you think of Chappelle's voice.

[109] If you look at the transcript of what Chappelle's saying at times, I'm sure it's not that insane.

[110] But you listen to him say those things.

[111] Same goes as who, Joey Diaz.

[112] Oh, yeah, for sure.

[113] You know.

[114] And when it's coming from a scientist with long gray hair who lives with chimps.

[115] She must be, I mean, you think she's hooked up with a chimp?

[116] I mean, all those nights.

[117] Come on.

[118] No chance.

[119] She lives with all of them?

[120] Yeah.

[121] I don't know, sounds like there's some monthly business going on over there.

[122] Oh, no, he didn't.

[123] You didn't help it.

[124] I didn't even mean to.

[125] You set it up.

[126] There it is.

[127] 9898255.

[128] Susqueh is real.

[129] To Cherie from Philadelphia, hi.

[130] How you doing?

[131] I want to know if you believe there are any undiscovered large species.

[132] Oh, here it is.

[133] You're talking about a Yeti or Bigfoot or Susquehawks.

[134] Is that what he's talking?

[135] Yes, he is.

[136] Is that the message I'm missing here?

[137] I think that's the message you're missing.

[138] Is that right, Sherrive?

[139] Yeah, pretty much.

[140] I'm out of the loop.

[141] Go ahead.

[142] Well, now, you'll be amazed when I tell you that I'm sure that they exist.

[143] You are?

[144] Yeah.

[145] I've talked to so many Native Americans who've all described the same sounds, two who've seen them.

[146] I've probably got about, oh, 30 books that have come from different parts of the world, from China, from all over the place.

[147] Did you always have this belief that they existed?

[148] Well, I'm a romantic, so I always wanted them to exist.

[149] All right, Cherie.

[150] Thank you.

[151] Thanks for calling.

[152] she probably knows more than me so you know if you can when in doubt go with the person knows more than you but i've never i've never seen any like real evidence other than these footprint things i mean everything else is just bullshit they find hair turns out to be bare hair they find scat turns out to be like wolf scat where'd they find the footprints at oh they find them everywhere man but you don't know what you're looking at you know it could be anything could be someone decided to fake footprints, you know, it could be a big bear that's less likely.

[153] But it depends on the area, like a big grizzly bear print.

[154] Who knows?

[155] I mean, to make it look like a human foot, it would have to either be a giant human foot or be just incredible special effects.

[156] It's one of two things, you know, some of them.

[157] They got like ridges.

[158] They've found like dermal ridges.

[159] that indicate they think it indicates like a footprint type thing but with the feet of these things they seem to think that that somehow or another makes it very very difficult to fake but people want to believe that shit that's part of the problem part of the problem is it's fun it's super fun to believe that someone's not fucking with you but that's some big giant monkey just walk through but with every day every passing minute of every day it becomes way less likely that that's a real thing because there's so many people with cameras yeah and these people go deep into the woods and I think it's also like one of the cooler things to believe in because it's not you know yeah man but even if it did exist like we have guns and shit whereas like if aliens existed were fucked yeah we're fucked maybe so we're sort of rooting for the Sasquatches in the world.

[160] Look, there had to be a bunch of different kinds of human being -like creatures that existed.

[161] It just only makes sense.

[162] They're finding new ones all the time.

[163] They're like constantly finding some new subspecies of people that they weren't aware of before.

[164] It's super possible that something grew to be like that.

[165] Like, why wouldn't it be?

[166] If we can get a chint, why is that so weird?

[167] Like, it's not any weirder than a person or a chimp.

[168] Both of those things are we found another person we'd be like holy shit look what it's done like if we could if we poked our head into some other dimension right and we just stuck our head through and we saw the impact of a human civilization on the natural world we'd be like what the fuck that's way crazier than Bigfoot yeah like a human being is making tubes out of aluminum with giant wings and shooting itself into the sky and landing on different spots it's It's sucking oil out of the ground and using it to build everything.

[169] It's talking online and it goes to the air and winds up in your phone.

[170] All this is done by a human.

[171] That's way crazier than Bigfoot.

[172] That's fucking crazy.

[173] Then you go to chimps.

[174] Chimps are way crazier than Bigfoot.

[175] They're haunting monkeys, man. They're fucking forming little societies together.

[176] Some of them are figuring out how to use tools.

[177] And they're right there.

[178] Like that's way crazier than Bigfoot.

[179] Bigfoot's just a shy guy He just wants to be alone Just let him find a good place to shit You can't find any Bigfoot shit Because he's always paranoid that people are watching him So he's holding his shit in I think Jane Goodall's wrong on this one I'm gonna be honest with you I don't know where But I'm gonna go out there off on a limb That is a limb It's quite a limb sir Why would you think that she would think that's real Because she wants it to be real?

[180] Yeah And, you know, she said that she was talking to Native Americans about it.

[181] And, you know, they're like, you know, they go off on, they're a little bit trippy, right?

[182] Right.

[183] They might have been peyote and whatnot.

[184] Right.

[185] Who knows?

[186] You know, just like saying you talk to two Native Americans is like saying, I talk to two white people.

[187] Like, they're just people.

[188] You know, just because they happen to be Native Americans, like they got street cred for Bigfoot.

[189] That's what she's saying.

[190] Yeah, she's made a point.

[191] She's given Native Americans Bigfoot street cred.

[192] They'd be closer to the Sasquatch.

[193] They named it.

[194] It's like if anybody knows about almost going extinct, it should be...

[195] State of California sued because it won't recognize Bigfoot.

[196] What is this?

[197] Is this today?

[198] That's a lost lawsuit.

[199] That's what that is, my friend.

[200] Is there?

[201] Is there synchriticity going on here?

[202] There's a lot of people in this country who claim to believe the existence of Bigfoot, but one California woman believes it so strongly in the beast and she's actually filed a lawsuit to prove it.

[203] Could you imagine being the court?

[204] systems all choked up with divorce and corruption and tax evasion and whatever the fuck else they investigate and this crazy lady is like i'm suing you i got i got a team of lawyers we're taking the whole state down we're taking the whole state down they won't recognize hasquatch we won't recognize them and she's just going to town getting crazy she makes a go fund me and bigfoot people they're like super pumped when there's some action something's happening They'll fucking donate to that go -fund me Little bit here, a little bit here, a lot of Bigfoot lovers out there And this chick could be fighting the government Imagine the lawyer that takes that case Is this a video of her with Bigfoot?

[205] Yeah, she said it was 30 feet up into a tree It seems real Where?

[206] I don't know, I mean She's Bigfoot These people are I'll show wonderful people That really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want Bigfoot to exist And when you really, really, really, really, really, really want Bigfoot to exist, you sort of figure out a way to make them exist in your mind.

[207] There's no evidence.

[208] The problem is there's nothing.

[209] There's no footprints that are like attached to hair, you know, where you could get like a little bit of hair off of it and say, oh, well, this is definitely a primate.

[210] There's none of that.

[211] They don't have any of that.

[212] They have these mushy, you know, footprints that people have made in the mud.

[213] They say impossible to fake.

[214] Maybe.

[215] I don't know.

[216] I don't know if they're impossible to fake.

[217] But I do know that I haven't seen one picture that looks real.

[218] I've seen one video.

[219] Everything just smells like bullshit.

[220] Yeah.

[221] The problem I always have with it is it always looks like a man in a suit.

[222] And here's the thing.

[223] The only thing that looks like a man in a suit is a man in a suit.

[224] Like there's, even a chimp doesn't look like a man in a suit.

[225] They move different man. Chimps kind of like throw themselves with their arms and kick up.

[226] They move different.

[227] You can't move like that.

[228] You can't move like that You can try You're not gonna be able to move the way a chimp moves Especially if a chimp's moving fast Just get the fuck out of here It's like you're not even close You look like a guy Pretended to be a chimp You're moving like a guy All these things move like people They move like people Like your brain That little computer in your brain That recognizes shapes goes Oh that's a guy in a monkey suit Yeah Right?

[229] Instantly That's exactly what you think Because it is That one video with the word The famous one that we know that one's a guy in a suit right well there's people that dispute it but that's the patterson uh footage the patterson footage is like the most famous footage in all of bigfoot lore because this guy who and i'm pretty sure the guy was a he was arrested for something like for not paying i believe it was something like not paying for the very camera that he used to film the Bigfoot footage.

[230] Wow.

[231] He was arrested for it.

[232] So the guy, okay, he's stealing cameras.

[233] Right.

[234] That's not good.

[235] Right.

[236] And then there's another guy who claims that he wore the suit.

[237] What the fuck is that guy's name?

[238] I always forget that guy's name.

[239] Gimlin is the guy that was there.

[240] And then there was the other guy who wore the suit.

[241] He was a large fella.

[242] And there's a picture of him walking.

[243] Like he showed how he did it and he walked.

[244] And then you see on the other side of the screen, the guy in the monkey suit doing the exact same walk -in.

[245] Hieronymus, Bob Heronimus.

[246] Bob Heronimus.

[247] That's it.

[248] Now I remember.

[249] Bob Hieronomous, who's a big cowboy -looking dude.

[250] And they had him walk with a monkey suit on.

[251] And everybody was like, that's real big foot footage.

[252] This guy bought a monkey suit, too, by the way.

[253] The guy who made the film, he had bought a monkey suit.

[254] Wow.

[255] And he said he was going to use the monkey suit to, like, you know, film reenactments or practice filming with it or something like that some cockamamie reason for having a monkey suit it's just like the whole thing is so stupid it's if you look at all the pieces involved you're like oh yeah you guys are fucking around and you know you film some shit while you're on a horse it was all bouncy you see this thing walking across the stream but now they can isolate that footage because it used to be all bouncy and shaky with computers they can isolate it and get it all into one flat plane and you watch it move it's a fucking guy in a monkey suit man a hundred percent right yeah you've seen it you've seen it yeah you watch that shit you go what am i looking at what are you doing here it's crazy but people want to believe so bad yeah i've never had a chance of believing in the uh in the whole bigfoot thing it was always just silly to me i remember was it john lithgow and harry and the henderson's back in the day or something like that yes yeah i grew up on that And I was always like, ah, that's like a fake character.

[256] It's like, I think if you see Harry and the Henderson's before finding out about Bigfoot, it's like believing that Barney the dinosaur would exist out there.

[257] The only reason to give it any credence at all is the vast expanse of wilderness that exists in the Pacific Northwest.

[258] Because it's so lush.

[259] It's so crazy that no one's getting in there and figuring out exactly what's in there.

[260] Like, I really think everyone who lives in this area, especially, because you can get up there pretty quick, but anybody anywhere should go to the Pacific Northwest.

[261] I go to the mountains right above Seattle.

[262] That's a crazy place, man. That was way crazier than looking for Bigfoot.

[263] One of the craziest parts about that trip was being in that real rainforest.

[264] The real thing was fucking bananas.

[265] It's thick like, like you can't see anything.

[266] Yeah.

[267] Like every two feet, there's another tree.

[268] I mean, it's just thick with trees.

[269] Which reminds me of my favorite thing, basically mystery ever, D .B. Cooper, because that's where he jumped out of that plane at.

[270] Really?

[271] Was in the most horrible place, you can imagine.

[272] Did he do that in Pacific Northwest?

[273] Oh, yeah.

[274] Super.

[275] They flew out of Seattle, heading back down again, and he just hit that button on the rear case.

[276] They felt the plane shake.

[277] And then, boof, he's gone.

[278] He's going to land in the trees, for sure.

[279] And it seems like that, but his parachute, none of his stuff ever recovered in.

[280] And they combed that thing.

[281] They did find, like, a stack of money, I think, like, 10 or 20 ,000 of the bills sort of buried at a beach next to a creek.

[282] Yeah.

[283] But for the most part, it's one of my favorite fucking little, I mean, the fact that that guy maybe made off with, I think it was only, it was something low, like 150 or.

[284] Yeah, he got $200 ,000.

[285] $200 ,000.

[286] But back then, because this is in what year?

[287] 71.

[288] And he didn't just hijack the plane.

[289] He made the plane land, get rid of the passengers, bring them parachutes, bring the money, and have it take off again.

[290] Like this is way back before, you know, he just, it was a true hijacking.

[291] They land at the airport.

[292] They're like, I'm going to save all the passengers' lives, but here's the catch.

[293] I need $200 ,000.

[294] A few paris.

[295] Parachutes and something else like something weird, right?

[296] Wow.

[297] And they never found him.

[298] They never found the body.

[299] They never found his suit.

[300] They found his clip on tie.

[301] Somehow that like was found somewhere.

[302] But it makes it even crazier when you factor in that they found the clip on tie and not the parachute and not the suit and not, you know what I mean?

[303] Because then it's almost like he's just got his 200 ,000 and is just walking off.

[304] I think they said that the money was never.

[305] ever spent though is that true i'm looking up uh in august of last year they found a 18 inch nylon strap which they think might have been a piece of his parachute um i don't know how they would know that right away but so i'm looking up uh some other information update keyword might might have been some shit some campers left behind too yeah and i was just in uh in australia and i visited the grave of the Tyam Shmood Another crazy mystery one You ever hear that one?

[306] The guy that was found at the beach in Adelaide I actually went to the cemetery and visited his grave during the day One of the days I had off there when I was doing shows in Adelaide And this guy was found at a beach This is another one of the great mysteries ever Found at a beach wearing a suit he had a half lit a cigarette that was out like in his collar they found him he'd been dead they they don't know the guy there's no ID on him no nothing so they keep him around for a few weeks in the morgue waiting for some type of information on the guy they just don't want to bury him and eventually they cut through his clothes and they find that there's a little pocket with a piece of paper like on the seam of his pants or a shirt, I can't remember.

[307] They trace, they can tell that it's cut out of a book called the Tyam should or something like that.

[308] I'm not saying it right because it's some old Latin word or something.

[309] And, but there's a code on it and a phone number or some, or no, there's a code on it, but they know that, no, there's not a code on it.

[310] It's just a piece of paper from a book.

[311] And they have the page and everything.

[312] So they go to the newspaper.

[313] They're like, hey, does anybody know, have this copy of this book so that we can find out who this guy is and why this is sewed in on them?

[314] they don't get anything so they go nationwide to australia and try to figure out what this piece of papers from they find the book in another part of australia with the missing part and in that book is a phone number and a code that every code breaker ever has tried to figure out and they just don't know so it's the tomb of the unknown man whoa yeah and it goes like deep there's so many theories about what happened to this guy and it could have been the cia he could have been an American spy, he could have been a Russian spy, he could have been an Australian spy.

[315] Like, nobody knows anything about this guy.

[316] Whoa.

[317] And they followed up, and there's a guy that, like, has some crazy theory, but I don't know.

[318] There's a guy that has a crazy theory.

[319] I mean, there's a ton of people that have...

[320] That's for everything in the world.

[321] You know, there's people that think that the Elon Musk thing was fake.

[322] It was a hoax.

[323] Oh, my God.

[324] I saw someone yesterday with that malarkey.

[325] Yeah, Summerton, man. Tied a mystery death in Australia to Thomas Jefferson.

[326] Whoa, when's that from?

[327] This is that guy.

[328] Unidentified man found dead Australian Beach, baffled investigators for decades.

[329] A new DNA analysis links Somerton Man to Thomas Jefferson and Native Americans.

[330] So he was an ancestor of Thomas Jefferson and Native Americans.

[331] That's interesting.

[332] I've never read that.

[333] Yeah, so they essentially just did a DNA test on it.

[334] They call him the Somerton Man because that's the beach that he was found out.

[335] Are you guys, you know about this Elizabeth Warren stuff?

[336] Do you know who that woman is?

[337] She's a politician.

[338] And she, um, apparently at one point in her life, claimed to be part Native American.

[339] And now just like, won't talk about it, won't do a DNA test.

[340] Won't.

[341] She's like, they were like, do you have any pictures?

[342] She's like, yes, they have many pictures and they're not for you.

[343] That's what she said to, like, investigators.

[344] Man. And then you got Trump just hauling her pocahontas.

[345] It's so brutal.

[346] She hits back at Trump's use of Pocahontas vows to highlight Native American issues.

[347] You know, I wish I wasn't skeptical.

[348] I wish I thought she was awesome and this isn't real.

[349] But what's weird is that I think it gave you some sort of an advantage for her to be Native American in terms of like getting into certain schools or what have you.

[350] I don't know if that's true.

[351] she might be part Native American she might be like fuck you I don't have to tell you that's possible too I don't think that's the best move but maybe she doesn't know maybe she like there's always that's that is a thing with families like the family would tell you yeah your your grandmother was 23 % Navajo and you're like wow I'm fucking cool yeah he gives you an extra little bit of badass this is why Jane Goodall was willing to accept the she's like two Native Americans told me well you could have talked to two other ones who would have said what the fuck out of here with that you could have i mean people are people man it doesn't matter if you're a white person or a native american person or whatever your ethnicity is there's going to be a spectrum of people in that group and some of them are going to just be bigfoot believers man it doesn't matter if they're native american it doesn't sometimes people are bored and they want to believe in bigfoot so they start thinking they hear things that they don't really hear they start thinking they're camping out this one guy thought they were camping out outside his window that they lived in the forest like right outside his back door that they come near where he is big he sees him yeah yeah yeah they read your mind they um they can uh sense when cameras are around they won't show themselves oh that's pretty smart what a great evolved habit that is but then like we were saying earlier some of them truly believe that bigfoot is like some interstellar traveler that maybe he's uh from another dimension there's a creature from another dimension yeah because creatures from other dimensions are super hairy too and look just like that and that makes sense maybe he's real but you can only see him when you're on mushrooms do you imagine that that sort of makes sense imagine if you did like there's a perfect dose where you could see him you get into his world and you see him looks like bigfoot but he's all in like a rainbow i mean i've been on mushrooms and seen the same thing that wasn't there is somebody next to me I thought it was a UFO, but somebody, one of the guys told me that it was a, it was a, like, someone playing with, like, a laser light thing, like, out in the distance.

[352] Oh.

[353] But I don't know.

[354] It could have been.

[355] If you're on mushrooms, it could be.

[356] If you saw a laser, like, those laser pointers are so weird.

[357] Like, assholes point them at planes.

[358] Like, that's how ridiculous those things are.

[359] It's, um, it's kind of weird.

[360] It's very weird.

[361] when I was a kid that was like the funniest thing you could do was just have a laser pointer and have a red dot appear on the wall like during class where the teacher has no idea put that away first they didn't know about it remember yeah teachers didn't know about it yeah those red dots are showing up they didn't know what it was very rebellious cats love those things so that's always fun that became like a thing in a movie man dude's got his hands up red dots moving all over his body it means they had the gun on him right that was a exciting part of a movie like oh my god look they got them yeah happened to me and my buddies once we were speeding away we were underage at a high school drinking party yeah dude it was nasty and the party got busted up by the cops everybody ran out the back door like 70 kids at once me my four buddies got slammed into my one pal's car and we're driving down the street and you just hear stop stop the fucking car and I looked at my right my buddy in the middle of the back seat has the red dot right on him up and down from his head to his neck like it was crazy christ yeah we all got in trouble for that one never know they never know could it be young tony hitchcliff and his mischievous friend or could it be murderer bank robber trying to flee yeah could it be this cop that cop in particular was a real real bad person like I mean, he knew that they just busted up a kid's drinking party and that all the kids were scattering at once and he decided to stand in the middle of the street.

[362] And he said that like, you know, first of all, he could have easily shot us because you're standing in the middle of the street instead of having common sense.

[363] Like there's so many other things happening.

[364] But he, you know, he could say that that's assault with a deadly weapon if you're driving towards somebody.

[365] So he runs out in the street, pulls out his gun, almost can't wait.

[366] It seemed for my buddy to not stop.

[367] I mean, it's just, it was one of those, one of those shady cops.

[368] In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the same cop from where I'm from that saw a UFO.

[369] And it was on TV when I was a kid.

[370] Yeah, there was a big thing in Liberty Township, just outside of Youngstown where this one cop saw a UFO and nobody could take him seriously after that.

[371] Oh my God, that is hilarious.

[372] But here's the thing, but me saying all this, I, I'm not saying.

[373] that people haven't seen UFOs.

[374] Because I don't know what they've seen.

[375] It's totally possible that something that's capable of coming here from another dimension, especially before recently, right, would be able to figure out how to avoid detection somehow or another.

[376] They're probably pretty close to figuring out how to do that now.

[377] I mean, they have the stealth bomber which avoids radar detection.

[378] And I know they have those cloaks.

[379] You've seen those jackets where it literally shows a video of what's behind you.

[380] It's like this new technology that they're trying to develop where literally you, your clothes would show exactly what's behind you.

[381] So you've got a camera, some sort of camera system mounted somewhere on you, and it's taking a picture of what's behind you, streaming what's behind you.

[382] And so then that appears on your clothes.

[383] So as you move, you literally are everything that's behind you.

[384] There's this weird like predator effect from the movie.

[385] It's very crude right now, but you look at it and you go, oh, this is the future.

[386] They're just going to become, everything's going to be, it's...

[387] The future is scary.

[388] It's weird.

[389] Yes.

[390] Oh, my God.

[391] They make it look like everything in the future is going to make us crazy.

[392] That show is so good, man. Wow.

[393] It's so good.

[394] Yeah.

[395] In terms of like a show that makes you just like, after the show's over, you just go, what the fuck?

[396] That crocodile expert, episode rather, crocodile.

[397] I had like 15 friends text me after that going, what in the fuck was that?

[398] Yeah.

[399] What the fuck?

[400] It's so crazy and it's so good and you can see it happening.

[401] You're like, no, no fucking way.

[402] No fucking way.

[403] Oh my God.

[404] I don't remember a show ever that's that powerful.

[405] Like when it comes to a science fiction type show.

[406] Yeah.

[407] I don't remember, I mean, there was some amazing shows on before, but they were all really fiction.

[408] shows right like this is fiction with like a dash of futuristic possibility like dystopian future that fucking dog one with the robot dog oh yeah jesus christ what was that called metalhead is that what it was fucking a man oh you're like i could see this this could be real like what what are we doing the future seems scary you see that robot open up the door and hold it for his friends?

[409] No. Dude, robot opened up a door.

[410] Click, open the latch.

[411] Yeah, that guy.

[412] Whoa.

[413] Dude, look at this thing.

[414] Watch this shit.

[415] Just first of all, look at it and just imagine it with guns everywhere.

[416] Of course you can imagine that.

[417] Right?

[418] Laser pointers and guns everywhere.

[419] So this thing walks up, grabs a fucking handle, turns the door, check this out puts its leg there to stop the door walks the door back so that it has some kind of intelligence unless that's a programmed move and has there ever been anything that doesn't get like a virus or things go wrong at some point of course this is all going to happen it's going to go wrong it's going to go wrong but I wonder if that's a programmed move like it told it the exact steps to take and it measured out all the inches and then knew the exact movements to make, or if it can accurately calculate distance.

[420] So they've given it, in a sense, some sort of electronic eyes, right?

[421] If it can walk up to a door, grab the handle, turn it and pull it, and then hold the door open with its leg, let its friends go by.

[422] Like, what is that?

[423] We're fucked.

[424] But that's, that kind of articulation is very crazy to think that you could teach something to do that.

[425] so are you only teaching it to do doors or can it just do that with everything that's when it gets weird what it gets weird is if it can create if it could figure out well if it works on this what kind of door do we have here oh i see this thing's just a slide is it going to be able to figure that out that's that's kind of it's discerning it seems like it would be able to figure it out pretty easily especially when you factor in that everything in the future is going to be more like technological anyway like the doors even You know, like turning a knob or sliding a door is going to be ridiculous because people are just going to be like Jedi's or whatever, you know?

[426] A lot of people have fingerprint things now for stuff.

[427] Like fingerprint things for like opening doors.

[428] I've seen fingerprint things for locks at the gym.

[429] Just a fingerprint thing now?

[430] That's like a new thing.

[431] Yeah.

[432] That's why you wouldn't want to cut off your thumb out of all the fingers that are cut off.

[433] Well, it's just really, interesting to me how quick all this technology is moving and how it doesn't it doesn't seem like there's any end in sight and most of us like you and I like normal people are sitting back watching this on internet videos going woo what do we what do we like when when do we stop when do we stop making robots that could kill us like before they're smart or after they're smart after they're they're going to just stay alive and obviously as soon as we can latch guns on to them they're going in for war yeah that's what a drone is yeah think about what the drone is what a drone is what a drone is is someone is piloting something just because it's flying around doesn't mean it's not a robot all right that's a fucking robot it's a robot it's a robot airship and they're flying it around and they're getting these kids that are wizards and video games like if you want to have some fucking impossible to beat armies.

[434] You hook them up with some of those I -Robot things from that Will Smith movie.

[435] You make them all bulletproof.

[436] And you have a bunch of kids that just play wicked video games all day.

[437] Know how to fuck people up with Madden and that UFC game.

[438] And you fucking send those kids piloting these things in real time.

[439] You send them to parts of the world.

[440] And that would be, first of all, it would be 10 times more terrifying than drones right some things running through your street i just thought of something i was gonna say the problem i've always had with this idea is like our battery life that we use on stuff is terrible yeah it's gonna eat people but what batteries are they using and those drones that are flying up above now that are over overseas doing damage on and whatnot are those like special batteries that we don't have access to that maybe in five years we will and this question won't be so weird to us is are you sure that that's the way those things fly?

[441] I was almost just going to ask that.

[442] I don't know how they fly.

[443] I don't think they're gas powered though, but...

[444] Well, let's find out.

[445] It'd be a good thing to know.

[446] We might not be able to find that out, I don't think.

[447] They won't tell you.

[448] You're scared to Google it.

[449] That's not something you want to be Googling.

[450] You do not want to Google.

[451] How far can you...

[452] How far can you fly a drone?

[453] I'd rather wonder.

[454] On gasoline while it's carrying two missiles.

[455] Just wondering.

[456] That sounds like the most American thing ever.

[457] A drone filled with gas and oil.

[458] Just wondering.

[459] With missiles.

[460] That's what's happening.

[461] Drones.

[462] Well, we have to worry about people more than we even have to worry about drones.

[463] Right?

[464] This new shooting in Florida freak me the fuck out again.

[465] Yeah, it's happening all the time now.

[466] It's horrific.

[467] And the crazy thing is like kids used to joke around about.

[468] this guy doing that someday that was something they joked around about i think that uh i think that the way that the news reports it and the way that it's such big news isn't helping at all because one thing that i've noticed is the whole car ramming thing like that's a new thing car ramming where the a lot of the things that are happening are people just getting in a truck or a car and just running people down yeah it's a fairly new thing yeah that started with like i don't know maybe that French one or something like that.

[469] I can't remember the first one.

[470] But since then, because the report, you know, they report it and they blow these things up and then bang, boom.

[471] Like, I feel like going off of the car ramming situation and the growth in car rammings alone that we could sort of see how overly reporting these...

[472] I mean, I don't know if that's even a thing or if what I'm saying is making sense at all, but...

[473] I know what you're trying to say, but the counter to that would be someone had...

[474] What was the, someone made a really good analogy.

[475] The point being, what this is, is only happening here.

[476] We have to figure out why it's happening here so often.

[477] It rarely happens anywhere else, but here it happens pretty often.

[478] So what is that?

[479] Is it access to guns?

[480] Is it mental health?

[481] Is it both of those things?

[482] Is it, um, it's just far too easy to get guns?

[483] Is it that you're not being monitored in the sense of being talked about?

[484] And people don't want anybody infringing upon their rights, right?

[485] But if we just sat down and had a rational conversation with someone to renew a gun license, you know, rational conversation with someone who doesn't work for a gun group or anything, just someone who could just give you a reasonable reason why you should be suspicious about person having a firearm.

[486] You really don't want to do that either, though, because you can't trust people.

[487] It's like you're putting people in a position of power to decide who gets the guns and who doesn't get the guns.

[488] It's all very, very fucking terrifying and confusing.

[489] It seems like the AR -15 is the one that they need to keep an eye on, because all the biggest ones are that, and it seems to be able to mow down a lot of people at once.

[490] Yeah, semi -automatic rifles are more effective in those type of mass shooting situations.

[491] That's why those guys use them.

[492] That's why they use them in, you know, all sorts of horrific ways all around the world, right?

[493] That's what they're good at.

[494] So then the question is, are they too lethal for a regular person to be carrying around?

[495] You'd want to know why a regular person wants to carry them around, and then you would realize, is that really my right to even ask a regular person why they need it?

[496] I mean if most of these people are law -abiding gun owners when we freak out that one person who legally bought a gun in this case is a kid who legally bought it does this horrific thing it's a very good question and it's a question we all have to ask ourselves like how many times does this happen before something happens and is the answer arming the schools that's a fucking terrifying answer putting armed guards at schools like I saw a story where someone had held up two signs which it was like an instagram thing and so it was the the two signs were which one of these signs would make you feel good if you were like a killer and it shows no weapons like a no weapon sign and then it also shows a sign with an armed guard saying that the staff is armed and trained and you know you're looking at the two of those you're like god damn it i don't want either one of these fucking things i i definitely don't want weapons in the schools but i don't want them to need weapons in schools that's why i don't want it there yeah but when they you know when scenes like this happen you have to go well how is there a way i don't know i don't know what the way is other than even if you take people's guns away god damn you're not going to get all of them there's too many of them the number of guns that people have today i i think it outnumbers humans i think the number of guns like total in this country outnumber humans insanity even if you are for guns when the number of things that can kill us outnumber us reacting are we crazy are we stockpiling for some fucking terrible collapse that we're all afraid of is that just our thing because we're like uh we were like the last country or whatever you think is it like defensive question good question like crazy scared country well there's you know there's different uses for firearms and who are you to say that like recreational shooters who are respectable law -abiding people.

[497] And there's a lot of them out there that are very good people.

[498] They just love to shoot pistols at targets.

[499] They do competitions.

[500] They enjoy it.

[501] They like being proficient with a firearm for their own personal safety.

[502] And there have been cases.

[503] I think there was a case in, shit, I want to say it was in Ohio, where some guy was stabbing somebody at a mall and some dude who was a trained shooter at one of those shooting competition things shot the guy and killed them when he was running around stabbing people at the mall and it was one of those things where no one wanted to play that up in the media because they thought it was like irresponsible it's irresponsible to play up the the idea of the rogue vigilante with the pistol yeah but but that was a real guy like the guy's actually like kind of a hero like If he was in a Bruce Willis movie, he'd be fucking pumped.

[504] Like, that guy's kind of a hero.

[505] Yeah.

[506] Like, he was a normal citizen that happened to have a concealed carry permit, right?

[507] I found another similar story, I guess, from what you're describing in Minnesota, it was an off -duty cop that stopped somebody that was stabbed ten people.

[508] Yeah.

[509] It was an off -duty cop that was the stab one, so I got that wrong.

[510] Who was the firearm instructor one?

[511] I don't know this.

[512] I thought I got that wrong.

[513] There might have been another similar story too, I don't know.

[514] Might have been.

[515] But there was definitely one, I'm sorry if I fucked that up, there was definitely one where the guy was one of those big NRA shooting competition type characters.

[516] This is a terrible, terrible tragedy, and these terrible tragedies seem to keep happening, and we don't do anything to change.

[517] Everybody's worried about their Second Amendment rights being taken away.

[518] you know people worried about law -abiding people who would never do anything like this worried about their guns getting taken away but they and all all of us we have we have to figure this out this can't just keep going on this way and whatever it is whatever's causing it whether it's the way people are raising people the way people are treating people whatever fucking crazy mental imbalances that we're not treating in each other whatever the fuck it is whether it's biological whatever the fuck it is that we just can't keep as a civilization, as a, as a thing that should, in its best times, be able to get along great with each other.

[519] These little aberrations, they're horrific aberrations, but they exist frequently.

[520] There's so many of us.

[521] Yeah.

[522] 320 -something million people?

[523] This was from 2015.

[524] More guns than people.

[525] Whoa.

[526] Oh, boy.

[527] Wow.

[528] So there's 317 million people in 2013 and 357 million guns.

[529] That's crazy.

[530] But then the people who are gun nuts would be like, what do you fucking care how many guns I have, man?

[531] Okay?

[532] I'm a law -abiding citizen.

[533] I would never do anything like that.

[534] That guy did.

[535] That guy's a piece of shit.

[536] Fuck him.

[537] And they're right, too.

[538] Yeah.

[539] They're right too.

[540] If you haven't done anything and you would never do anything, Why would you get lumped in with someone who has?

[541] If you have a truck and you would never dream into plowing into a mall full of people, why would you get lumped into the same group as a guy who has a truck who did do that?

[542] Why should you?

[543] It's not fair.

[544] But we still have to figure this out.

[545] It just, there's something wrong.

[546] There's something wrong where there's that many more things that can kill us than us.

[547] If a guy pointed a gun at you from across a rear.

[548] do you have something in your head plan that you would do no there's nothing you can do i would do a bunch of cartwheels and somersaults that's always been like sort of my plan i feel like if i just do weird movements uh you could avoid there's almost nothing you can do yeah you know it's um to terrifying terrifying terrifying thing the ability to just end someone's life with a single movement of your hand and we learned so early on i remember you know duck hunt as a kid the Nintendo like tick tick tick tick tick remember that and you have a gun and it's like we learn so early on well it's just that people value people so poorly that they would do that this is where we have to find like the root of what that is and that sounds this sounds very philosophical and hippie -dippy but we we have to examine what could possibly be inside someone that would make them want to do something like that what would that be i don't i mean how the fuck does that happen how does it how are there in the same timeline we're not talking about like primitive roman days or the viking or anything crazy we're talking about right now how in the same timeline does a guy like you exist alongside someone who can do that there's something wrong there's a i also think that there's something to be said about like awareness of depression and psychological disorders for the older generation.

[549] I feel like in the future, more people are going to know about it and take it as a real thing.

[550] But I still think now there's definitely a lot of stubborn parents out there that ignore and go, you're not depressed, get up, you know, and all this.

[551] Because it's definitely deep rooted, a lack of structure in their lives, you know, stuff's gone wrong and they don't have anybody to talk to or anything, you know.

[552] That's definitely.

[553] a common thing.

[554] A hundred percent.

[555] The dissatisfaction with their current state in life, their physical health, people have all sorts of undiagnosed mental issues and maybe they don't have insurance and they can't afford treatment or maybe they just got off of it and they think they're fine.

[556] I mean, we know guys who did that who got off of stuff that they weren't supposed to get off of and then they start getting really paranoid and crazy and then someone has to talk them down.

[557] And one of the things with being depressed like that is, you know, and like you said, If they don't have insurance, then all of a sudden they're like, I don't have insurance.

[558] Little did they know that it's a phone call away to get like, you know, free whatever somehow or help somehow.

[559] But also with the depression makes you not want to do that.

[560] It makes you, part of it is you don't want to sort of find help.

[561] It's hard to reach out.

[562] Yeah.

[563] You know what I find it's interesting that is, I think, avoidable.

[564] then maybe we should all like think about this a little bit there's something that happens whenever something takes place um where people like expect a reaction they expect a reaction from you and there's this uh tendency to get upset at people that are not showing a reaction to it like publicly instantaneous like there's a responsibility to show a reaction and i've been thinking about this.

[565] And I was like, is there?

[566] I don't know.

[567] Because I had put something up, I think, on Twitter or Instagram, and someone's about our show in Bakersfield tonight.

[568] And someone said, hey, maybe not a great time to promote.

[569] There was a school shooting, just saying or something like that.

[570] I didn't know about it.

[571] I don't think.

[572] Maybe I'd heard peripherally that something happened, like when I was flipping through Google, but I didn't know the extent of it.

[573] And then I saw it, I was like, oh, my God.

[574] Like, I mean, that is, it's one of the worst things people can do to people.

[575] It's to, like, snuff out young life for no reason.

[576] Yeah, it's, it's crazy.

[577] It's becoming so common.

[578] It's becoming common, and there has to be a way to stop it.

[579] It's almost like, you know, a way.

[580] It's, I feel like people have become so desensitized that, like it's almost like the new super suicide you know people were very desensitized because if this had happened 20 years ago it would be a gigantic thing they would freak people out for days and days and it would be all anybody's talking about so in one sense if I did hear about a school I think maybe I'd seen something about the school getting shut down or something so I'm like oh fuck something happened and then going into it later the more I looked into it tomorrow was like oh god like this is just this is the most heartbreaking news you could ever hear right someone decides to go kill kids the story you're talking about was in Texas okay man who opened fire in Texas church shooter was hailed as a good Samaritan oh there was that guy there was another guy though it must have been the undercover cop because it was the stabbing story I might have conflated him I'd do that on occasion well we got I got the story in two instances someone who wasn't supposed to be there with a gun had a gun one of them just happened to be an undercover cop you don't want people to be vigilantes you don't want people to be out there fucking Charles Bronson in it but I was performing at a comedy club in Dallas a couple weeks ago and I was standing out front near the like the host booth for a second and they get a phone call and the guy goes you know what sir I actually don't know let me ask my boss I've never been asked that before and he puts the phone on hold and goes to find the owner but like before he does I go what's that person asking for like I was just curious like what he's never been asked he goes he wants to know if he can bring his gun he has a concealed carry license I don't know the exact laws here I'm like no don't ask the owner he's not allowed to bring his gun get back to that phone call no not my two shows that night like no concealed carry uh uh uh yeah I got a buddy of mine who carries Everwhere Wow Everywhere Man Yeah Hope I never accidentally Make fun of them It's firearms instructor He's He carries everywhere He lives in Arizona You can do whatever the fuck you want In Arizona Arizona thinks it's The 1800s You think if I did my cartwheel Somersault thing You'd still be able to get me though Maybe not Maybe not You are a clever fellow I always picture that And I You know what else I always picture is in elevators.

[581] If the elevator falls and you're in free fall, would you jump?

[582] Would you try to jump at the end to sort of?

[583] It's not how it works.

[584] Yeah, because you're going to the speed of the elevator anyway.

[585] You're going to get crushed the same exact amount.

[586] You're fucked.

[587] Darn it.

[588] Yeah, it doesn't work.

[589] I was going to try to jump.

[590] There's nothing you could do with that one, dude.

[591] That's a sad, fucked up way to die.

[592] Elevator accident?

[593] You know, that's one of the things when you're in a place like Manhattan.

[594] And you're on the 89th floor of a fucking building.

[595] And you're like, what is this nonsense?

[596] What is this nonsense?

[597] I figure like it's even worse when they, like, uh, it gets stuck, but it's halfway in between floors and someone tries to climb out.

[598] And then you've heard of them like getting decapitated or whatever and like their heads there.

[599] They get severed in half.

[600] Yeah.

[601] Dude, those people up there in that 90th floor, those people are just view monkeys.

[602] They love it.

[603] Yeah.

[604] Like, give me higher.

[605] I want to look over this whole fucking city.

[606] Wouldn't you want to be on the first floor?

[607] I want to be on the first floor.

[608] Okay, so I can just get the fuck out of there, get out of the office, go home.

[609] Why would I want to be on the 100th floor?

[610] Unless I'm just, look.

[611] Look at all that.

[612] Down below me, motherfucker.

[613] I'm up here at the top of the tree because I'm the number one chimp.

[614] You fucks.

[615] Bring my helicopter.

[616] I'm flying right above these guys with my dick out the window.

[617] Right?

[618] That's the ultimate is to be a dude who lives in the penthouse and gets helicoptered around.

[619] Manhattan and drop down some fucking dude covered in like extinct fox fur you know strutting his shit that's the ultimate to have a penthouse on the top of a giant building in New York City and have a helicopter land in your roof you'd be special agent baller I wouldn't even get in the helicopter I would have the helicopter I would attach a rope to the helicopter and have the helicopter go and I just fly like that underneath the helicopter so that when they slowly land I land detach there are guys like that out there this is what you like not obviously not wearing extinct furs but there's guys that are that rich that just get helicopter around Manhattan and they go to the Hamptons to get helicoptered out to the Hamptons they land in their estate they get out their state they have people waiting there and full outfit that work for them it's like during some colonial time I mean they're they're living in a like this is a total alternate universe of human beings fuck yeah You've seen those crazy Hamptons houses, like way out and...

[620] What's this?

[621] Wait, Matt Lauer.

[622] NBC pays for Matt Lauer's helicopter rides to work.

[623] Oh, there you go.

[624] From the Hamptons.

[625] Bam.

[626] His chopper out to the Hamptons where he has a 40 -acre horse farm.

[627] He's falling!

[628] Oh, he's bawled so hard.

[629] Balling so hard, Matt Lauer.

[630] Wow.

[631] Took a helicopter ride to his nice office with the button.

[632] That's that thing, man. And it's, it's not just guys like him.

[633] It's, you know, rich hedge fund guys and Wall Street guys.

[634] I mean, there's these, there's people that just have ungodly sums of money.

[635] Like, you can't wrap your head around it.

[636] You're never going to understand it.

[637] They have a hundred million dollar estates.

[638] A hundred million.

[639] You're looking at a hundred million dollar estate.

[640] You're like, what?

[641] What the fuck is this?

[642] That's insane.

[643] yeah that's a weird thing about capitalism that someone can get that far out of whack they could ball that hard above all like what what kind of what did you do and those are some of my favorite some of my favorite crazy stories is like the jinks the robert durst one where he came from you know the family that owns just manhattan skyscrapers and boom yeah he's crazy the dupont guy with the wrestling team Yeah That's another wild one That's one of the wildest ones Yeah Yeah that was a terrifying one Steve Karel can act His fucking ass off can he Hell yeah Yeah he's great It's another thing Where someone used a gun To kill someone That they were threatened by In some sort of a masculine way Because Dave Schultz was like This super badass wrestler Yeah To top of the food Him and his brother Mark Top of the Food Chain wrestlers that's a terrible story I almost went to the I think I'm pretty sure I almost went to the match Schultz is it Mark Schultz Mark Schultz wrestling camp back when I was in high school I went to the Ohio State one instead he fought Gary Big Daddy Goodrich in the UFC way back in the day it was his one and only MMA fight in the UFC and it's really interesting because in the movie that they did with Steve Carell?

[644] Like, that's a historical moment.

[645] See, they don't understand MMA.

[646] So when they made that movie, the cage -fitting part was like, yeah, whatever, we'll just fucking fudge this.

[647] Like, how do I, why would I believe that anything in that movie is what really happened when the thing that I know for sure really happened, you fucked up?

[648] Yeah.

[649] The thing that I know for sure really happened is this guy, Big Daddy Goodrich fought Schultz when Schultz was a top of the food chain wrestler man and he just took him down at will.

[650] He handled him at will.

[651] He took Schultz down.

[652] Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There'll be none of that.

[653] Yeah.

[654] There'll be none of that.

[655] Yeah.

[656] Mark Schultz was a gorilla.

[657] Yeah.

[658] I mean just like I said, top of the food chain American wrestler.

[659] He's a fucking tank.

[660] Yeah.

[661] And so this is him getting Gary Goodrich, like very little striking, very little striking training.

[662] He's just looking for this.

[663] He's just, and once he gets this, oh, fuck all that.

[664] Boom.

[665] Takes him to the ground like he's a sack of potatoes, beats the shit out of him, mounts him, does whatever he wants to him when he has him on the ground.

[666] Whatever he wants to him.

[667] It's a level of grappling that the UFC, up until then, had never seen.

[668] You know, it's like if a guy like Daniel Cormier entered into the octagon back there, same kind of thing.

[669] Just takes everybody's going down.

[670] Shut the fuck up.

[671] There's not going to be any stuff in these takedowns.

[672] There's a guy named Jordan Burroughs out there that I would...

[673] Why did they just stop that right there?

[674] Because, well, it was different times, man. It was back then...

[675] Yeah, they didn't know what the fuck they were doing half the time.

[676] Like, look, Mark's got no gloves on, and Gary's got no gloves on, but back in the day, you could wear gloves if you wanted to.

[677] And I think he has shoes on, yep, he's got wrestling shoes.

[678] And look at this, boom.

[679] I mean, every time he wants to, he could take him down.

[680] And he's mounted him.

[681] Wow.

[682] This is just a level of grappling that you just don't understand.

[683] You're not getting them off you.

[684] Just stop.

[685] This is nonsense.

[686] You don't even understand.

[687] This is like a, I mean, and Big Daddy Goodrich, I should just say, is an incredibly strong guy and an awesome athlete.

[688] What's happening here?

[689] Big Tap.

[690] What happened?

[691] It's Big John.

[692] Oh, did he key lock him?

[693] Is that what he's?

[694] That's interesting.

[695] Why did I, in my head, I had that he beat him up and won a decision?

[696] How did that result?

[697] Did he submit him?

[698] No, I can't believe I can't remember this wrong.

[699] Well, either way, I just remember just watching...

[700] Yeah, it looks like you got him in a key lock.

[701] There's just too much blood even for the wreck.

[702] Oh, no, okay, it wasn't that.

[703] They just stopped it.

[704] Huh.

[705] Okay.

[706] So it was a stoppage.

[707] Either way.

[708] There's a guy named Jordan Burroughs who, when he wrestles, He has the greatest double league takedown ever Just shoots low, drives in His opponents know he's gonna do it He's won multiple gold side I mean he's just a monster And I would love love love to see him Learn how to strike a little bit Or learn some jiu -jitsu and figure out UFC Because in like almost the history of wrestling This guy is a freak Shoots low, there's nothing you can do Here he is There's just nothing thing he just dominates people serious drive man boom yeah boom over and over again just destroys people look at that drive man god damn he's good he wrestled on like uh time square did you see that yeah that was cool yeah you rested in time square last last year maybe like in the winter oh really yeah oh wow look at that where is that guy going insane nowhere well you know this is what we're seeing with habib nirmagumedov when you see like this super high level striking or excuse me super high -level grappling.

[709] It shuts down even, like, really good grapplers.

[710] Is this him in Times Square?

[711] Yeah.

[712] Wow, this is awesome.

[713] Who was he wrestling against?

[714] Some guy that thought he was about to get points right there.

[715] That's crazy.

[716] Who is he wrestling against?

[717] Does it say?

[718] Oh, it's got some rap music on.

[719] It'll get us kicked off YouTube.

[720] But this is all, these are, like, world championships and stuff.

[721] Crazy, man. Serious power.

[722] And technique.

[723] I just I think that's the most important skill in MMA I've always thought it and I still do because I think these guys can learn defense for grappling defense for Jiu -Jitsu and they can learn submissions which is probably even more important way quicker than a regular person they're so used to squeezing shit already they're used to they're constantly used to squeezing things and gripping and pulling and unlike Jiu -Jitsu with the Ghee which relies a lot of it on grips And, like, there's an entanglement factor that you have to really take into, and they can really slow the game down that way.

[724] You can't do that with wrestling.

[725] Another thing with wrestling is hip movement and hip control and spinning around a guy, hitting a easy reversal just from popping down and back up.

[726] Yeah.

[727] Yeah.

[728] If you don't wrestle, you're not taking a wrestler down.

[729] Yeah.

[730] And it's crazy sometimes watching, you know, high -level fights.

[731] And, you know, sometimes I don't have, obviously, when you're at a live fight, I don't have the audio.

[732] So it's like sometimes I'm seeing what's just a little thing that's wrong, you know, like, for example, like in Diaz McGregor, too, I remember a part where Diaz was trying to take McGregor down, but his hips were above McGregers who had dropped his just lower, whereas if Diaz pops down and back up, he's got him.

[733] But, you know, all this stuff's happening at once, and sometimes you can see it with wrestling.

[734] And it's just the difference in a little thing that sometimes the energy and the emotions of the fight, it's about.

[735] you know just being like oh yeah drop down up and like you know yeah yeah it's uh it's very very technique oriented and that's like the people that have never done any kind of grappling don't understand when you're watching like someone drive in when you see a beautiful like if you go back to like who's got one of like the best power doubles probably maybe frankie edgar's got one of my favorite power doubles ever he takes a lot of motherfuckers down that are really tough to take down But if you watch, like, as he enters into it, there's such a flow to it.

[736] You know, it's an aggressive attacking.

[737] Like George St. Pierre, when George is in his prime, ooh, dude, everybody's scared of that takedown, man. That power double was coming.

[738] Josh Kosteck went early on in the sport.

[739] Oh, Josh Kosteck had ridiculous power in his takedown.

[740] It's just ridiculous.

[741] He would just drive through you.

[742] It's so technical.

[743] There's, you know, it's one, that's the whole thing in wrestling, is strength and quickness and all this stuff is so secondary to some dude that'll own you doing your own thing he'll like wrestle jujitsu you he'll just let you think that you're about to do something while he's moves ahead i think everybody should know that joel romero is a real human being like that that's possible like everyone should know like when it comes to like what's what's important about wrestling yoel romero is a real thing like that's what happens this is what you have when you have like the elite is elite of wrestlers you can get in a super athlete body.

[744] Yeah.

[745] Good luck.

[746] Good luck.

[747] He decides whether you're going down.

[748] You mean, if you take him down, it's luck.

[749] I mean, he might have been half -assed in the takedown defense because he knows as soon as he gets down to just fucking flip you over and stand back up again.

[750] It's just not the same kind of thing.

[751] It's like he's just way more athletic than you.

[752] Way stronger than you.

[753] They need to get Nagano to work out with him.

[754] Dude.

[755] Well, Nagano is way to have.

[756] unfortunately you're dealing with 85 versus heavyweight but at 85 no i mean like train to train with yeah but still it's a big guy to train with he's so good dude is this his highlight real yeah yeah he's he's so good like he's knocked out with stunning accuracy luke rockhold um chris wideman look at that boom dude tim kennedy i mean he's a fucking monster although the kennedy fight was marred by controversy.

[757] You can never ignore that.

[758] He did not come out for the...

[759] Oh, look at that left hand.

[760] He did not come out for the end of the round and he was still sitting on his stool and they had wasted all this time trying to give him more chances to recover.

[761] You have to be afraid of any guy whose shoulders stick up like that.

[762] Dude, he's terrified.

[763] It's like a king cobra, how it like warns you with its wings.

[764] He's stopping this dude with body strikes.

[765] Oh.

[766] I mean, that is crazy.

[767] Who the fuck stopped someone with driving elbows to the body?

[768] Who the fuck stopped somebody with that?

[769] Oh, my God.

[770] Yeah, dude.

[771] I mean, that was meat.

[772] He made meat out of that.

[773] Go back to that.

[774] Let me look at that again.

[775] That's crazy.

[776] Yeah, look it right there, right there.

[777] They'll show it.

[778] Look, it's got blood all over his elbow.

[779] That's just, that is a crazy.

[780] His whole face is a mess.

[781] but that's a crazy amount of force this guy can generate and wrestling is just another level man like that kind of shit he could do that to anybody like he fought Brad Tavares right there and Brad Tavares is a stud and it was like they were nowhere near the same weight class like the way he can handle him he's just so fucking powerful and this kid just shows you where the fucking stud Tim Kennedy is Tim Kennedy almost had him.

[782] The reason why he didn't come out for, I believe, it was the third round when he came out late, was because by the end of the second, Tim had him in deep, deep trouble.

[783] Tim had caught him with a couple of big punches and staggered him, and so when he went back to his corner, look at that fucking shot that he lands when he knocks him down, then another one, he just smashed him at the end.

[784] The craziest thing about Tim Kennedy is he does all this.

[785] and for a big chunk of his career he was active military and still fighting like that yeah you all Romero is yeah and here's him just smashing leota machida he's terrifying so he's gonna get the next shot at the middleweight title after he just knocked out Luke Rockhold I can't believe Whitaker knocked him that's the crazy thing is knocked him out like this is the crazy thing you're talking about a guy is like one of the best wrestlers to ever fight in MMA and he's knocking people out standing leaping in and cracking you at punches, hitting you at flying knees, knocking out world champions.

[786] I mean, Cahed Chris Weigman with a flying knee.

[787] He's on another level, like a real fucking monster athlete.

[788] Like, it's a pleasure to get to watch someone who has such fantastic technique and physical attributes all combined.

[789] Like, his wrestling technique is just ridiculously good.

[790] His timing is ridiculously good.

[791] It's explosions.

[792] It's like to watch that, I mean, for me, a guy who's been around the sport for a long time, when a guy comes out and then just stands out that hard, he go, whoa, like this guy is a real outlier physically.

[793] He's going to make such a good pro wrestler in a few years.

[794] Oh, if he does decide to do that?

[795] Fuck, yeah, he wouldn't make an amazing one.

[796] Yeah, like as he gets older, yeah.

[797] Are they stretching him out here?

[798] Yeah, he's super fucking flexible.

[799] Dude, he's, you mean, he's a product.

[800] to the Cuban wrestling system.

[801] And if you listen to my podcast with Matt Brown, I'm going to plug that one more time because I enjoyed the shit out of it.

[802] It was one of the MMA shows.

[803] I did last week with Matt Brown, and he and I were talking about it.

[804] And he's, like, he spent an entire six weeks, I believe, in Cuba at one of his training camps.

[805] And the way these people live and train, like, they are all in, man. They are all in.

[806] And there's just a tremendous amount of talent over there, both in boxing and in judo as well as wrestling.

[807] Taekwondo.

[808] They have a big Taekwondo team.

[809] Like Cuba doesn't fuck around athletically, man. But it's just to see a guy like that, and you go, wow, that's a, and he's 40.

[810] Like, what would that guy have been like when he was 30?

[811] Good Lord.

[812] He's 40?

[813] He's 40.

[814] Yeah, what would he have been better?

[815] Would he have been faster?

[816] Man. Now, on top of all that, Robert Whitaker still beat him with a blown -out knee.

[817] Yep.

[818] That's amazing.

[819] Whitaker is a monster.

[820] That shows you how amazing he is.

[821] Yeah.

[822] He still managed to stuff takedowns of a completely blown -out knee.

[823] Crazy.

[824] Yeah.

[825] Whitaker is no fucking joke.

[826] He's a scary guy, and he's getting better.

[827] I think Whitaker's only like 27, right?

[828] How old's Robert Whitaker?

[829] That sounds about right.

[830] He's one of the younger guys that's a world champion currently, I believe.

[831] 27?

[832] Yeah.

[833] So he's still growing and learning, man. That guy at 30.

[834] I mean, he's a world champion right now.

[835] At 30, he's going to be better than he is right now.

[836] He's just going to keep getting better.

[837] Another thing is, Ywell didn't show any of the signs of pain from the shin injury that he had.

[838] That's a big part of it, too, you know, is not letting your opponent know what's hurting you, because I'm sure if Rockhold knew that he hurt his shin more than he hurt his, then And he would have kept picking away at it, but he didn't let him know.

[839] So it just seemed like he wasn't affecting him with his leg kicks.

[840] Meanwhile, Yowel's like, ow.

[841] What is he like?

[842] Ow!

[843] Yeah.

[844] Painful.

[845] Well, he's a super winner.

[846] He's what you would call a super winner.

[847] You know, I mean, that's really what he is.

[848] If you get these Olympic level athletes that have just been competing their whole lives, they just know how to win and when he learned how to strike everybody just you're fucked you got this guy there's only been a few guys that can survive it that have been able to survive it you know but the most impressive one um I mean shit there's not just this is a real wealth of talent right now I was just gonna say it's a very exciting time to be a UFC fan it really is man because like Robert Whitaker was the first guy to, is he the first guy to beat Yoel in the UFC?

[849] I want to say he is.

[850] And I want to say that Yowel lost like one of his really early MMA fights to Fajiao in strike force.

[851] Is that true?

[852] Haphael Cavalcante.

[853] Yeah, in strike force.

[854] Barnett versus Karatanov, Sergei Karatanov.

[855] So that was like way back.

[856] in the 2011 so yeah look at all it was one of his first fights he lost that fight and then he lost to Whitaker so he hadn't lost since that the Fajiao fight almost all knockouts yeah and the only one that has an askerisk right next to it is the Tim Kennedy fight because there was definitely some fuckery there definitely some some cheating they definitely stayed on that stool an extra few seconds how long did they wind up staying on the stool for extra I want to guess it was an extra 15 seconds.

[857] I think that might be What did he do?

[858] He just chilled for a bit?

[859] Might have been less than 15.

[860] He just didn't get up.

[861] He sat there.

[862] Yeah, well, then.

[863] Yeah, there was around.

[864] He was in there.

[865] The corner was leaving.

[866] He's still sitting on a stool.

[867] They didn't even, approximately 30 seconds.

[868] 30 seconds.

[869] That's a long time.

[870] That's a long time.

[871] I was thinking it was 15.

[872] I was thinking I might have been wrong.

[873] It might have been 10.

[874] They didn't even try a trick like the old spill the ice, that classic, which I love so much.

[875] I much?

[876] Dude, 30 seconds is a long time for a guy to recover.

[877] He could have easily been caoed.

[878] He could have, I mean, who knows?

[879] Because he's such a super athlete.

[880] He might have been able to rebound, but he might not have, too.

[881] We'll never know.

[882] If you're taking 30 seconds, you're taking it because 20 seconds wasn't enough.

[883] Yeah.

[884] Well, it's, yeah.

[885] Well, it would be a minute at that point.

[886] There's a minute and then, you know, a 30 -second break on top of that.

[887] So it was a minute 30.

[888] from the time Tim was beating on him till the time the round ends he goes back to his corner clearly fucked up and then he sits on the stool for a long time it's a hundred percent of an asterisk did you ever say that word right asterisk asterisk it always sounds wrong it's like when George Bush used to say especially and he would say especially he said it was the Vaseline does that have anything to do with it like there's so much Vaseline on them and they tried to get the trainer in and you couldn't understand what they were saying was that what it was too is that's what this says here it's a damn yeah but he was sitting there he was sitting there and they didn't and Tim Kennedy standing there the rounds over and he's got his arms up there he's like see if you can play that or that'll get us kicked off I don't have to find it okay don't worry about it you don't have to find it um but that's the only one next to his name where you gotta go oof you know that one that one ain't good can't take a 30 second break yeah that's not good but and he wound up winning that fight, which is, man, there's a major violation there.

[889] That's a giant, like not being ready for the start of the next round.

[890] If you, if the round starts, like you don't want, the referee doesn't want to stop the fight.

[891] He doesn't want to give it to your opponent because you can't start the round on time.

[892] But he's in a terrible situation where he wants the fight to continue, but he also understands that you're taking unfair advantage here by just sitting here while you should be engaging in a contest.

[893] There's a specified one minute break.

[894] You've exceeded your one minute break, therefore I must disqualify you.

[895] So they're stuck.

[896] Yeah.

[897] They're stuck in no man's lane.

[898] And they don't want to be the party pooper.

[899] Fuck, dude.

[900] If we could just get Yoel up real quick.

[901] He's just in the 30 seconds later.

[902] He finally like, what?

[903] How?

[904] How?

[905] That's a big one, man. I didn't know it was 30 seconds.

[906] I really thought it was 15 or less.

[907] But take that away.

[908] Because, you know, that's unfortunate, but shit happens.

[909] take that away and you're looking at just a freak of freaks he's going to come in here he is with Joey Diaz yes Joey's going to help translate so if everything like if everything's going smooth or maybe he doesn't understand what I'm saying he might turn to Joey and they'll blah blah blah blah blah they'll just fucking throw their hands up in the air kiss each other and shit and then we'll be back of business I'd be surprised if you all can get these headphones on us over his shoulders, those...

[910] I know.

[911] He's a tank.

[912] I don't know how much he wants to talk about his life in Cuba and what it was like wrestling there, but I would be utterly fascinated to hear about that, you know?

[913] Yeah.

[914] And to rise to the top of the heap in that crazy shark tank of athletic talent and then go on to medal in like basically every wrestling championship that he entered internationally.

[915] I mean, he's just one of the freak of freak.

[916] freaks.

[917] Fascinating that those guys exist.

[918] I think it's so important that we know because everybody has these ideas in their head about like physical limitations and physical capabilities.

[919] And then you see like a Walter Payton.

[920] And you just go, oh, whoa.

[921] Like how is this guy?

[922] Or Hershal Walker.

[923] Or Hershal Walker is a great example.

[924] And you see Hershey Walker run and you go, oh, what?

[925] That's a person too?

[926] Crazy.

[927] How is that guy I mean Hershey Walker to this day is super jacked And he's in his 50s That was him in his late 40s fighting in strike force Look at that 54 wants to fight again Is this new?

[928] I will click it and see Come on, seriously From June 2016 No two years ago So now he's 56 Wants to fight again still Open to Rampage bag He's open to a Rampage Jackson bow He's so crazy He might win Dude Hersher Walker's terrifying fine yeah that's another what exactly the same thing we're talking about it's another insane level of physical talent above and beyond wasn't he like all pushups only or something for a while apparently that's a lot of what he did a lot of what he did was pushups and a lot of body weight exercises and he didn't really necessarily lift weights who knows man he might be telling the truth but it seems like he looks like a guy who lifts weights so if he could be that jacked at 47 or 48 and not lift weights.

[929] This was 2011 from this photo?

[930] That picture, yeah.

[931] Okay.

[932] So, but, you know, not a young man and ridiculously ripped and always has been.

[933] He's just a severe outlier.

[934] There's like, there's Brock Lesnar type guys.

[935] Yeah, there was a guy when Jamie and I were back in Columbus way, way, way back named Maurice Claret, a running back for Ohio State that only played one year.

[936] He was a freshman.

[937] and broke every freshman record this and that led us to a national championship wasn't even that tall probably I don't know who knows whatever 510 5 9 something like not that tall but he had thighs and hips where he would just keep running he would just keep his legs moving and he would run people over just boof boof smashing guys guys on the defense when we played them in high school because he was right around the corner at Warren Harding in Youngstown, and so we played him in high school.

[938] Our guys were being taken off on stretchers, on the defense.

[939] Guys trying to tackle him.

[940] Stretcher, stretcher, stretcher.

[941] I'm not even kidding.

[942] It was crazy.

[943] Maurice Claret.

[944] Did you see that video?

[945] He's built like a midget, but he's a real human man. Look at that.

[946] Isn't that crazy?

[947] He's a real...

[948] He got so much muscle.

[949] Yeah.

[950] Did you see that video of Brock Lesner punching that guy for real?

[951] wrestling match he's done that quite a few times sometimes brock lets dudes know what's up if they don't do things right or if they're not need him in the face pretty hard yeah and his head snap back and brock crack this dude yeah like with like real punches like i'm gonna hit you with real punches now like boom boom sometimes they do that on the jaw that was an old school the dude hits him here that's a hard fucking knee to the head and brock gets up and you can see he's very unhappy boom that's a real punch right there that is like the kind of shit that he hit Frank Mere with that's real yeah they're playing big time ball that is a freak that guy man people think about him as a WWE guy and then they think about him as you know fighting in the UFC and winning some fights and being this bad motherfucker but they don't you know when he beat Shane Carwin I mean that was a big fucking fight for him do you choke out Jane Carwin but what people don't realize is like when he was an amateur wrestler, he was a fucking monster.

[952] It's just his decision to go into the UFC late after he'd already been doing pro wrestling.

[953] People were like oh, this guy, but look, this guy is a fucking unbelievable athlete.

[954] You ever see his NFL Combine scores?

[955] No. Have you seen that shit, Jamie?

[956] See if you could Google Shane Carwin versus Brock Lesnar combine because somebody made one of those images and it showed their numbers similar height, similar weight Brock was a fucking freak and it shows in the WWE ring you know people say you know like it's sure it's fake but it's not because you can see compared to all the other athletes some of them that only did that their entire lives his number of strides that he takes is longer and faster and you just see him even from seats far away you can see wow that guy's big and moving way he's moving at the same speed as the crazy luchador Mexican wrestlers were earlier but he's that size with shoulders like that he had what I would call a fractured MMA training that led him to the heavyweight champion and I say fractured that he jumped right into the deep end and won and beat guys like Randy Couture beat guys like Frank Meere Shane Carwin beat some world class guys but if he had started I think earlier in his life and learned how to strike and got some of that in there first so that it wasn't such an alien thing to him when he was fighting in the big leagues he's really only been striking for a few years if he learned how to strike from a real technical instructor someone was real technical and still had that wrestling ability when he was younger I mean who the fuck else is like that who else is like that when we got him he was in his 30s already he You've been doing pro wrestling a long time.

[957] It beats the shit out of your body.

[958] You might think it's fake.

[959] There's nothing fake about when he flipped over the fucking top rope and landed on his head.

[960] Remember that one?

[961] Yeah, that's not fake.

[962] You try faking that.

[963] You're dead.

[964] Most people are dead from that.

[965] He survived and kept going with the wrestling move.

[966] This is not a normal athlete.

[967] But every now and then, one of those guys comes along.

[968] And if they can, if they, I mean, obviously Brock was very technical when he was in high school and when he was a young wrestler, if you watch some of the videos of him when he was a younger guy he was slightly smaller he was definitely a smaller guy but he still was a gorilla I mean there's nothing there's no getting around that genetics you know there's like but it's rare that a guy like that at him you know can reach the level where you're seeing um uh yoa Romero because like that's almost like another level even past what Brock's capable of doing there's brocks i can't find shane's numbers okay 40 yard dash time 4 .7 vertical jump 35 standing long jump 10 feet he can stand and jump 10 feet forward and he's 265 pounds bench press 225 pounds for 30 reps 40 yard dash time 4 .7 vertical jump what is this why is there 2?

[969] I don't know why it repeated it okay okay wow oh i see it okay so that's that was the last stat was the bench press 225 pound bench press for 30 reps That's a lot of fucking reps man That's crazy But I know there's guys who do more than that Yeah the similar thing I could find was in a form It said that Shane did like 43 reps on that But I couldn't find his other stats Oh so you did more bench press What is the world record in the combine How many times of a guy can bench press 225 I'm going to guess 50 Do you think a guy could do it 50 times probably there's probably some like giant 51 wow price is right wow who is it Justin Ernest Justin Ernest you bad motherfucker one of it's probably some field goal kicker Jesus Christ just jacked to the tits doesn't want to get hit all I do is kick balls and press bench imagine if they just made field gold kickers that were just giant Brock Lesner style gorillas too that'd be fun why why couldn't those guys kick just as good, or if not further and faster.

[970] Kickers are always like, you're not supposed to hit him, right?

[971] Yeah.

[972] You can't hit the kicker.

[973] It seems so crazy.

[974] That seems so crazy.

[975] That's a weird job, man. You miss a kick.

[976] All those guys don't care about you.

[977] They, like, stab you in the back.

[978] I mean, they just, there's no loyalty for the kicker.

[979] The rest of the other guys hold each other up.

[980] From what I've read and understand, it's like a depressing job.

[981] It's got to be.

[982] You don't get, you're not a part of it.

[983] Yeah.

[984] You can't get hit.

[985] Like, that's the one thing everybody's afraid of, and you can't get hit.

[986] And the littlest stuff throws them off, too.

[987] Like in this last Super Bowl, you know, they painted like the 25 -yard line with a special Super Bowl emblem, and it messed these guys up because it's white, so they're not used to kicking off green.

[988] Who was the first kicker?

[989] Is that the designated kicker?

[990] Has that always been the rule that you can't hit the guy?

[991] Who's the kicker?

[992] Am I wrong?

[993] Do I know what I'm talking about?

[994] It's not that you can't hit them.

[995] You can definitely hit them.

[996] Oh.

[997] You just can't hit them while they're kicking the ball.

[998] Yeah, yeah.

[999] So you can hit them after they kick the ball?

[1000] Right.

[1001] While they're in the process of kicking, you can't like kick their leg.

[1002] Unless you're about to block it, if you hit the ball, you can't actually then run into them.

[1003] But if you don't block the ball, then you can't touch them.

[1004] But if you're reaching for the ball and you got to remember their legs coming forward at a crazy fast rate, if you miss the ball and you hit them.

[1005] And by the way, the rule's crazy.

[1006] And the same goes for the punter.

[1007] Like if you hit them while their leg is basically still in the air, huge penalty.

[1008] Really?

[1009] huge.

[1010] Yeah, this is afterwards.

[1011] This guy's a punter.

[1012] This is Pat McAfee.

[1013] He jacked up this guy on a punt return.

[1014] So, like, he's not afraid to go hit him.

[1015] He fucked him up, but...

[1016] Yeah, he's probably out for three years after that, the kicker.

[1017] No, is what he did illegal right there?

[1018] Not at all, not at all.

[1019] No?

[1020] He's just now part of the team.

[1021] He can't go hit him, but usually, like, a quarterback, they want to try to...

[1022] He's the only punter on the team, so you've got to protect that guy.

[1023] Otherwise, you're fucked without a kicker.

[1024] You got to go to somebody else.

[1025] Wow.

[1026] Interesting.

[1027] Jim, you love the football, don't you?

[1028] Yeah, it's just a weird way it's like it's a high level chest thing too there's 53 guys you have to break it down and then it's all strategy and it's all pre snap strategy because it's only five seconds at a time and it's all setting this up I'm going to trick you like it's just the guys up in the booth old 50 year old men that think they know a lot about football and they can't actually go do it sort of like an MMA like Duke Rufus type guy very call things out it's very strategic very much chess and that's why Bill Belichick and Tom Brady make it to the Super Bowl pretty much every year which is, you know, just like with the UFC, we've seen so many fights like any given Sunday almost, right?

[1029] Like if you made the same match 10 times, we know it's not going to go that way every time.

[1030] Right.

[1031] But those guys have a way of figuring it out.

[1032] So it's crazy to see.

[1033] Yeah, when you think about a pro football team, like all the planning that has to be in place, all the monitoring of everybody's health, all the knowing what everyone's capable of, all the different strength and conditioning routines, you must watch these guys perform and drills you must watch these guys complete and then you get together all these people who are trying to strategize what's the best moves and the quarterback's got to figure some shit out and call things out in the field it's really a fucking nutty game and they can throw money at it they can throw money to fix any of those problems they want and when you factor in that some of the times they're doing things just to set you up completely to make you think like oh we saw them do that when we watched video with them play the Raiders they did this so this next play is gonna be this and boom gone another touchdown yeah it's the thing that's just obviously the issue is what happens to the players when they get older it's harder to watch it now right it doesn't seem the same it's not it seemed like the same thing to me anymore now like when a guy goes down like and that sounds fucked up coming from someone who's seen a lot of fights but I don't I just think it's it's all it's all bad yeah it's all bad to get hit that hard like but in a fight there's a high possibility that you could avoid getting hit that hard if you're like a mighty mouse or if you're like a gsp or a top of the food chain athlete a john jones he's going to get hit hard too just don't get around it sell those tapes that like biggest hits of the NFL like you speak commercials on tv like it's a little tough to watch those now yeah don't you think that they're getting hit harder yeah they're getting it harder than a ufc guys right well the speed is they're so fast now They're faster than they were even five, ten years ago.

[1034] Yeah, I've seen some of those hits, and I'm trying to imagine the difference between that and like a punch or a kick, and it's multiple magnitudes of power stronger.

[1035] Like, the guy's getting launched through the sky with these hits.

[1036] I mean, they get launched.

[1037] They lift off the ground, they go flying.

[1038] These are 200 -pound -plus men.

[1039] I'm pretty sure football's worse, because when it's helmet -to -helmet, I don't think there's any shin -to -skull kick that can.

[1040] could even compare to that because your brain is hitting the inside of your skull if you're receiving that hit.

[1041] I don't think there's, unless another guy's wearing a helmet running at you at full speed, especially if you're running the direction that he's in, boom.

[1042] I mean, it just, that's like two cars hitting head on.

[1043] If you've seen the difference between like a car accident and a head -on, car accident, what happens to the dummy and what happens to people?

[1044] Like, it's night and day.

[1045] This is the very first play of the biggest hits.

[1046] Oh.

[1047] He just fucking launches the guy.

[1048] Stars Jesus Christ Probably knocked out Yeah I would imagine A lot of guys get knocked out I mean You know they say that some concussions Happened from getting hit in the chest That we always thought about concussions Or you got hit in the head You got a concussion I didn't know until like fairly recently That's how stupid I am I didn't know that you can get a concussion From getting hit to the body Because when you get hit in the body Your brain jostles around just as much It's a different scene the hemorrhaging in the brain that you often get from local trauma that's scary shit people fall and hit their heads but just getting kicked to the body fucks your brain up that's what's crazy it's not just hitting right on the spot which definitely does it too but guys get their brains rattled from a kick to the body for sure for a takedown for sure for football I once had a bad one in a wrestling match in high school I got stuck like in a bridge And the guy had me in like a head scissors And he snapped it back real hard And my head hit the mat I woke up with puke on me I was still I was still on my back In the middle of the mat And I had puked Like projectile Like out cold and puked That's dangerous man You could choke in your own vomit That's the one time I had to go straight to a hospital It's crazy Yeah I think football Is probably The most impact because you're both running.

[1049] So a guy's running at you full clip.

[1050] That never happens in wrestling.

[1051] There's never, like, running at you.

[1052] This is the hit that.

[1053] This guy, Ryan Shazir, number 50.

[1054] He does a normal tackle, but he is just now getting the feeling back in his legs.

[1055] This happened about six months ago.

[1056] Oh, my God.

[1057] Yeah.

[1058] Oh, my God.

[1059] Some really freak accident in his spine on a normal tackle, normal everyday tackle.

[1060] Holy shit.

[1061] These happen, like, play like that can have.

[1062] happen like that.

[1063] Any given five seconds of an NFL game, a player like that can just have his life changed.

[1064] And that's another freak athlete from the Ohio State University that's been one of the top linebackers every year.

[1065] Yeah, I mean, it's super unfortunate that the body's so goddamn brittle.

[1066] But it's also one of the things that makes it so fascinating.

[1067] You see what these guys capable of doing is, you know, there's a brief window, like the Olympics, which is going on right now.

[1068] This is a brief window where someone can be good as a Michael Phelps, right?

[1069] Like, how many years do you have where you can just dominate swimming like that?

[1070] Do you got 10?

[1071] Is that real?

[1072] Is that a real number?

[1073] Is it 15?

[1074] I mean, what is it?

[1075] How long can you definitely can't keep it up forever?

[1076] It's like, when does everything just fall apart?

[1077] So when you're watching someone who can do crazy shit with their body and then you see a tackle like that that leads to a guy being paralyzed?

[1078] You're like, oh, man. Fuck, dude.

[1079] That's hard.

[1080] you know but you wouldn't want would you want it to change football yeah I think they should have big like balloon helmets on big silly looking super soft bouncy helmets would you want it to change I've been thinking about that I think it's going to change a little bit if you were the commissioner if someone someone said young Jamie you seem to know what the fuck you're talking about would you please do us a favor and tell us how to run this football thing yeah there's things I think they could do to change it.

[1081] There's stronger helmets they could probably be using.

[1082] I don't know if that would help them.

[1083] I could probably have some more protection.

[1084] The technology is probably around the corner.

[1085] It's probably like some type of weird airbag in a helmet that they're going to end up getting or something weird.

[1086] Right, like maybe a decelerator or something like that that absorbs the impact of the hit on your head so that it doesn't snap you back.

[1087] The conventional wisdom is that the helmets actually make it worse because they can hit each other much harder, whereas like they get more damage than a rugby player gets rugby players because they know there's no padding they're not doing the same kind of crazy shit yeah it requires different techniques if you want to have a career and i just i mean in rugby's obviously they get down and dirty and it's a very very tough game but they um it's a you have to do a totally different thing when you're not patted up it's like if you watch their scrums and you watch some of the the crazy physical altercations they have it looks more like running and wrestling there's like a lot of wrestling involved Was with football, it's just this fucking chaos of colliding bodies and people fucking smashing into people and jumping over people.

[1088] I just hear listening to that NPR episode about football and how it started, and that's how football used to be.

[1089] It used to just be two people or two teams would line up and they just run into each other and scrum and just slowly move the ball down the field, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.

[1090] And then eventually as time went by, they started adding the pass and things.

[1091] And now it's just, the NFL is literally just passed the ball for as many touchdowns as you can get.

[1092] Hopefully nobody gets hurt.

[1093] Ian Edwards is trying to turn me into a soccer fan, but it just didn't take.

[1094] We tried.

[1095] We tried.

[1096] Me and him at a bar.

[1097] He's showing me like some super important game.

[1098] I'm just mocking it, mocking him, making fun of the whole thing.

[1099] I could see you being a pro wrestling fan before being a soccer fan.

[1100] Oh, for sure.

[1101] Yeah.

[1102] No, look, I've stated on numerous occasions.

[1103] I'm a huge Rick Flair fan.

[1104] Yeah.

[1105] You know?

[1106] I love that.

[1107] We're getting you there.

[1108] Baby steps.

[1109] I'm a huge, I love the rock.

[1110] I think the rock is awesome.

[1111] I go to see all his movies I do I went to see Jumanji twice I got starstruck I met Rick Flair at the airport after the Royal Rumble it was so crazy our flight had just gotten delayed on the tarmac and then cancelled we get deborded everybody else is waiting at the desk I'm like I'm gonna go to the customer service part of this airline I know how this crap works there's a long line so I'm like I'm gonna go to the customer service and I'm walking by myself and there he is walking straight at me by himself.

[1112] And I literally, like, as I'm getting closer, I'm like, that's not Rickflare, that's not Rickflare, that's not Rickflare.

[1113] And then out of my face comes, nature boy.

[1114] And he goes, yeah, man. I'm like, hell yeah, buddy.

[1115] Do you follow him on Instagram?

[1116] I follow him on Twitter.

[1117] I don't know if I do follow him on Instagram.

[1118] He's the best, man. Just a legend.

[1119] Yeah.

[1120] You know, it's like stuff like that that I enjoy about pro wrestling.

[1121] That's what I enjoyed, the most ridiculous aspects of it.

[1122] Yeah.

[1123] Like, I was a big fan of Jimmy the Superfly Snooka back in the day, because it was just so ridiculous that he would always wind up on the top rope with some guy unconscious underneath them and he would fly through the air and land on him, and we were always pumped about it.

[1124] So silly.

[1125] There's a lot of fun stuff happening there.

[1126] There is.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] The man. The Natch.

[1129] Woo!

[1130] The Natch.

[1131] I used to be a fan of Bob Backland.

[1132] You.

[1133] You know, You remember Bob Backland?

[1134] Yeah, of course.

[1135] I was like, he's a no -nonsense guy.

[1136] That's a no -nonsense guy.

[1137] That's how I felt about him.

[1138] He was, like, to me, like, what embodied an actual wrestler versus, like, the pro wrestling.

[1139] And he stuck out like a sore thumb.

[1140] Because he did, like, the pro wrestling thing, but not really.

[1141] What he basically did is just engulf you on the ground and hit you with some ridiculous, real wrestling that you're not really prepared for.

[1142] His finishing move fucking hurts, cross -faced chicken wing?

[1143] See, he was just, for whatever reason, he wasn't appreciated enough.

[1144] It hurts.

[1145] He was too normal.

[1146] People didn't appreciate him enough.

[1147] The figure four hurts in real life, too.

[1148] The figure four leglock?

[1149] Yeah.

[1150] Is that a real thing?

[1151] That's Rick Flair invented it.

[1152] Oh, I know, but I'm saying, is it a real submission?

[1153] Look, here's the only catch.

[1154] It's a real submission, but the person has to basically let you put them in it.

[1155] Can I see it?

[1156] Or they have to be completely unconscious.

[1157] But Bob Backland, I had you back.

[1158] buddy back in high school when all the other kids were uh they only like the super fly and then Hulk Hogan here it is let me see see you have to twist all the way around okay let me see this see this is the part they have to be like hey what are you doing hold on let me see this drops oh yeah that's totally legit yeah dude if you can get a guy into that position that shit will hurt yep if you get a guy like Gordon Ryan puts you in something like that just for fun yeah he'll fuck your legs up but here's it go back to it again I don't think it's a good position for a couple reasons, though.

[1159] Like, right there, it's good.

[1160] If you can get to that.

[1161] If you can get to that.

[1162] But I'm not sure what's stopping him.

[1163] I'm not sure what's stopping him from scooting his butt towards that guy's right leg.

[1164] Here's the catch.

[1165] Is that if you can roll over while you're in the figure four leglock, it completely reverses the polars of the, uh, of the, uh, of the pain.

[1166] Of the pain.

[1167] So now, so then Rick Flair would be, oh, no. Well, let me see it again.

[1168] And, by the way, that's also true in real life.

[1169] I've tested that.

[1170] Well, what I'm saying is, like, the position, it's, you would, there's a natural way to defend it that it doesn't seem like the guy's defending it.

[1171] That's why, like, look.

[1172] Oh, he's trying to keep him from putting it in there.

[1173] Oh, he stepped on his dick.

[1174] Is he stepping on his dick?

[1175] A little bit.

[1176] That's the undertaker.

[1177] You're allowed to?

[1178] Okay.

[1179] Oh, this is a sharp.

[1180] Oh, no, it is.

[1181] Oh, yeah, that's a heel hook.

[1182] Yeah.

[1183] Okay.

[1184] The guy, see, here's why this is so fucking stupid.

[1185] The guy who's getting his leg cranked is actually the guy.

[1186] who's in the best position.

[1187] He's in a heel hook position.

[1188] Yeah.

[1189] You just grab his leg, right?

[1190] So who's supposed to be getting hurt here?

[1191] The guy in black.

[1192] The guy in black is...

[1193] No, no, the guy in black has a better position.

[1194] All he has to do is reach back with his right arm and hook his elbow onto the ankle.

[1195] No, you time out, motherfucker.

[1196] This is not a figure four leg lock.

[1197] This is embarrassing.

[1198] That's a heel hook.

[1199] He's giving him a heel hook, and the other guy's pretending he's in pain.

[1200] This is crazy.

[1201] This isn't even a figure four leg lock.

[1202] I don't even know what this is.

[1203] It's a modified figure force.

[1204] Oh, come on.

[1205] Look, he's in agony.

[1206] No, he's got a fucking heel hook.

[1207] Take the heel hook.

[1208] It's right there.

[1209] You go like this.

[1210] You clamp your hands together.

[1211] The match is over.

[1212] I mean, it's 100 % over.

[1213] In real life, yeah.

[1214] Well, what the fuck are they doing that?

[1215] What are they doing?

[1216] Winters are losers?

[1217] Everybody gets a trophy.

[1218] Is that what you're doing?

[1219] You're showing a terrible position.

[1220] The guy in white is in trouble.

[1221] What happened?

[1222] Undertaker one?

[1223] That was a different.

[1224] He broke out.

[1225] Oh, he broke out.

[1226] Yeah, the other guys doing it wrong for the whole fucking time.

[1227] There's the inverted finger for Yeah, this one maybe Okay, this is one Steps over Yeah, boy, it takes a lot of work To get someone to do that Wow, what is that?

[1228] I've never seen that one I'll tell you what that is Okay That looks painful Go back to that again Let me see that again I think it's the same thing I think it's the same thing Go back The same thing, no no One little bit further A little bit further back I gotta see the setup I gotta see the setup Okay, steps over The other guy is basically triangling his lower like, the guy in the bottom's in a better position.

[1229] This is nonsense.

[1230] The guy in the bottom fed his leg through the center, which is the worst thing he could have done right there.

[1231] He had a triangle on that.

[1232] He should have fed it.

[1233] He should have tried to go it through the...

[1234] He could have fucking swept that guy with that.

[1235] Let me see it one more time.

[1236] Let me see it one more time.

[1237] See, this guy's stepping over, and then this guy can just triangle that leg right there.

[1238] Why is he doing that?

[1239] He let him put it in the center.

[1240] Even if he lets him put it in the center, he's supposed to move as soon as that guy spins, and then you're free.

[1241] He should have wound up on the center.

[1242] top there.

[1243] Oh, see, this is a true figure for.

[1244] This is a true figure for.

[1245] There you go.

[1246] Hmm.

[1247] It might hurt.

[1248] Yeah, it'd probably hurt if a guy, a big gorilla like John Cena got you in that shit.

[1249] But you have to be almost dead.

[1250] To be able to do all that shit.

[1251] I mean, he might be able to do it to me. Don't get me wrong.

[1252] Exactly.

[1253] Like, if anybody...

[1254] For example, if anybody ever hit a figure four leg lock in a real fight, like that would be the most watched World Star video ever.

[1255] I wonder if it's been done.

[1256] Figure far, figure far.

[1257] So the thing is today, well, John Cena reversed it.

[1258] Oh, that's actually real.

[1259] That's real as fuck.

[1260] That hurts like hell.

[1261] What he's doing is he's fucking that guy's knee up and he's cranking on his neck at the same time.

[1262] Yep.

[1263] And under his nose the inside of his wrist.

[1264] Oh, you can tap now?

[1265] Oh, you've always been able to tap.

[1266] That's the whole point.

[1267] That's how Rick Flair beats people.

[1268] Well, he...

[1269] I always thought that you get counted out when you pin the guy.

[1270] That's one way.

[1271] That's submission.

[1272] Is this a new thing?

[1273] Countouts.

[1274] How long have they been There's disqualification, countouts, tap outs, and if the ref hits the mat three times with his hand.

[1275] How long have they been tapping out?

[1276] Forever.

[1277] For the beginning?

[1278] Bob Backland, who you mentioned.

[1279] Yeah, it's cross -faced chicken wing.

[1280] They have submission -only matches.

[1281] They come down for 45 minutes.

[1282] Did they have them back in the Superfly days?

[1283] I think so.

[1284] Oh, yeah.

[1285] Iron Sheiks move, Camel Clutch.

[1286] He made guys tap.

[1287] They quit.

[1288] Camel clutch hurts in real life, too.

[1289] Why did I block that out of my memory?

[1290] Mandible claws is one of the best.

[1291] That's a weird thing to block out of your memory.

[1292] Why did I block out the tapouts?

[1293] Because you have not wanted to be a pro wrestling fan.

[1294] You have been in denial of your love.

[1295] Look at this.

[1296] This is the mandible claw from mankind.

[1297] Oh, man. puts a sock on his hand and then shoves his two fingers underneath your tongue.

[1298] And then squeezes his thumb underneath your chin in that space and tries to connect it.

[1299] What do they call that?

[1300] The mandible claw.

[1301] but at one point it was Mr. Socco when he was working with a rock and they had the Rocco Soco Shut your fucking mouth Yeah So he's got a sock puppet on He stuffs it in your mouth And that's like he keeps the sock In his underwear until it's time And then when he gets you down The crowd goes crazy And he pulls He pulls the sock out and lifts it up And that crowd goes insane That is the dumbest and most awesome thing I've ever heard At the same time The dumbest and most awesome thing At the same time Heck yeah See that kind of shit That's funny Yeah That's funny It's ridiculous But the thing about pro wrestling Is like a lot of people Myself included Don't want to enjoy it They don't want to let go For something like that I think you were like Perhaps weeks away From becoming a pro wrestling fan I think you're delusional You've always been an interesting guy Tony But I don't trust your judgment On many issues This being one of them Oh I think you're weeks away No, you're going to watch Ronda You're going to watch Ronda's match though You're going to see what happens at WrestleMania I mean you're definitely going to watch highlights Fuck is wrong with you Fuck is wrong with you They rebooted the Cosmo son I'm watching that Oh my god It's so fun Yeah But pro wrestling's fun man I just took everybody We went to the Royal Rumble Had a blast Took a whole crew of L .A. comedian out to Philly, saw Rhonda Rousey come out.

[1302] We were all very surprised.

[1303] It was exciting.

[1304] Yeah, it was a big deal.

[1305] You guys got super excited.

[1306] Yeah, yeah, we went crazy.

[1307] That part I can't get out.

[1308] I just, all the nuances to follow along, who's mad at who.

[1309] Oh, you would love it.

[1310] They keep it really easy.

[1311] They give you, just like UFC, they give you a little breakdown before.

[1312] They have their own Joe Rogan type who's like, you know, doing the voiceover here is why this person's like this.

[1313] the technical side of things like they do a cool like you know little background and explanation before so you can catch up quick and then all of a sudden boom you're watching the only thing that seems interesting about the possibility of that is that it to me is i'm i've overdosed on reality yeah whether it's ponchos or you know whatever the fuck it is that's on tv swamp people or people making moonshine all all that stuff I don't I don't have any desire to watch any more reality do you know who Braun Strumman is no but when I was gonna say you I'd rather watch like a really good fiction like something that's good some show yeah something that's like written yeah and somewhere I know it's gonna be good yeah all the time not every now and then the guy tries to mouth fuck a dude with a sock on his hand no that's kind of funny that's kind of funny but I don't have the kind of time to wait for that to generate It's like when I hear about Saturday Night Live sketches I'm like I'm sure they get one every now and again That's fucking amazing But I don't have 90 minutes on Saturday night I agree with you 100 % on Saturday Night Live But they get good ones They get good ones Not as good as pro wrestling Listen those Alec Baldwin ones He knocks out of the park There's some funny shit still Alec Baldwin's done some stuff with Pro Wrestling What's Alex Baldwin's most popular show 30 Rock Pro Wrestling 30 Rock is pro wrestling no the rock I tried to make a reference there but it didn't work isn't 30 Rock just like an address you're silly you're a silly person that's the worst pun you've ever done you need to take a break from puns real fuel every time I'm on this show you tell everybody that I'm the pun king people come see my stand up they're like I'm really surprised that you didn't do any puns after you rattled off three or four really good ones right before this show started I try to hold back I you I wanted to During the whole Jane Goodall thing, you don't think I wanted to say chimpin ain't easy?

[1314] I wanted to, but I didn't.

[1315] Why didn't you say it?

[1316] I don't want to be known as the pun guy.

[1317] Dude, you're funny.

[1318] It's a funny talent.

[1319] But that's it.

[1320] You are.

[1321] Don't be insecure.

[1322] Let your talent shine.

[1323] You're very funny with puns.

[1324] I'm trying to show my full balance.

[1325] You have that too.

[1326] But don't hold your puns back when you know that they're natural.

[1327] That's the thing.

[1328] You got them right there.

[1329] They're popping in your fucking crazy head.

[1330] You're right.

[1331] Let them free.

[1332] You're right.

[1333] Let them free, Tony Hinchcliffe.

[1334] You're right.

[1335] Let those fuckers free.

[1336] Let them free.

[1337] Punded it up.

[1338] Yeah.

[1339] We're nice people, so no, we're not going to repeat what we said before the show started.

[1340] Where you were rattling off all those puns.

[1341] I don't remember them.

[1342] That's not important.

[1343] Is there ever been a time in your life where there was something that you now think is really fucking stupid?

[1344] But you believed in then.

[1345] ghosts or anything goofy like that yeah i still think i there's a slight chance that i saw something one day at the comedy store it's silly but yeah i don't know what it was maybe i was borderline about to pass out maybe it was like a low blood sugar attack but i saw something weird one day out of all the days that i worked there for years in the middle of the day one day i was working the phones on the second floor in the phones room where like the booker's room is now yeah And I was going outside to the belly room to, like, smoke a joint or smoke a cigarette or something like that.

[1346] But that's a dark room.

[1347] And I was walking through there.

[1348] And when I was walking through there, I stopped and felt like something, it just felt weird.

[1349] Like something in my gut felt weird.

[1350] And I sort of stopped.

[1351] And I looked at my right, right where that other door is.

[1352] Like, if you're walking into the belly room from the belly room green room and there's the green hallway and you finally come across so you're right in front of the men's room, well right to your right there's that other door that leads down to like the back bar and the back gullet whole everything so those two doorways are right next to each other and I stopped there and I saw some weird white silver floaty looking thing this was like eight years ago cigarette smoke some smoke some of smoking cigarettes over there and they blew some smoke no it was indoors I'm indoors somebody was smoking cigarettes indoors no this is back when nobody was at the comedy store during the day smoke cigarettes indoors at this time yeah nobody else smoke it was more glowing than smoke like it had its own was it spooky smoke it could have been perhaps a reflection off of head shots but there was nothing on that side it was an empty bathroom may I suggest that this was during the day and the dust in the comedy store is world class yeah world class the last time they run a motherfucking vacuum cleaner over those stairs is the first time they run a motherfucking vacuum clear over those stairs as you're walking up there I'm just kidding now it's pretty clean now but that's how it used to be for the longest time and you're you're going to see like when the wind like a window's open and the sunlight's coming through you know that glint if there's so much dust there that like you could see it in those little beams like you could see it floating in the air you'd be walking by going oh great I'm breathing in that.

[1353] It's scary.

[1354] All those old buildings are like that, right?

[1355] The kicker with this one was that I didn't tell anybody about it because I was obviously like, whatever.

[1356] I mean, it freaked me out.

[1357] I didn't end up smoking.

[1358] I remember I slowly turned around and walked back to the phone's room because I was freaked out.

[1359] I interrupted you to try to be funny and I failed.

[1360] So could you just explain it one more time?

[1361] Like you're walking, you see this thing.

[1362] What do you see?

[1363] Describe it to me. It's sort of like human height.

[1364] but like glowy it sort of looked like like I would say like a jellyfish is it shaped like a human sort of sort of a little bit like it seemed like it had like casper sort of yes it's as cheesy as that sounds it sort of did like but it was more it wasn't like a solid white it was like here's a question this is a good one like why were ghosts always depicted as being like wispy those always ghosts were always wispy and flying through the air and the creepy thing is is that's what this sort of felt like it felt wispy like on the sides like there was sort of like a yeah like a i don't know like a sort of like how you see that with like a fish or something like that right right like little tentacles or something moving it through the air i know this sounds ridiculous but that's what i saw and look it does sound ridiculous but again so to people yeah people sound ridiculous like if we were in a real thing and you had to think about look if there was no life form that change the environment around it.

[1365] None.

[1366] The biggest thing would be like a hermit crab or something like that.

[1367] It steals a shell and lives inside of it.

[1368] If that was how most of nature was, like a bear den, the bear dug a hole on the side of the hill.

[1369] That was it.

[1370] There's the extent of people and animals, birds making nests, and then all of a sudden you went to a new place and you saw Manhattan, you would be so fucking freaked out.

[1371] You wouldn't be able to believe that this one organism is capable altering the environment around it so radically and it's the only thing like it the only thing like it by far crazy dude what we are is very crazy you know i mean i think people are awesome i enjoy talking to them i love what we do i love to be able to podcast and do stand up and have fun and but just what we are just what the human race is is a weird thing man weird little little little multicolored thing that wears clothes.

[1372] Constantly evolving.

[1373] Yeah.

[1374] We have status.

[1375] Some of it dependent upon what's on your feet.

[1376] He's got some fresh Jordans.

[1377] Is that a thing still?

[1378] Did the kids still say fresh?

[1379] I don't know if they'd be fresh.

[1380] I'm bringing back fresh.

[1381] I'm bringing back fresh.

[1382] We need to bring back fresh.

[1383] You can't let fresh go by.

[1384] If someone looks, he can go, Jamie, looking fresh.

[1385] I think that's still here.

[1386] Thank you.

[1387] It has to be.

[1388] Looking fresh.

[1389] I've passed many generations of people thinking that things are cool and uncool.

[1390] I just missed a lot of shit.

[1391] No one really says cool, though.

[1392] Oh, I say that all the time.

[1393] Well, there you go.

[1394] Well, that's cool.

[1395] You look cool, man. Yeah, Duncan might.

[1396] That's cool, man. Yeah, that's fucking cool, man. Yeah, Duncan definitely still says cool.

[1397] It's funny, though, how those words sort of go in a cycle, right?

[1398] like if people use them a lot and then like certain words you get they get used so much that you're like totes you know people start saying anything like that you're like what?

[1399] Like where's all this coming from why is everybody saying that?

[1400] There's a bunch of those little weird sayings that people start saying yeah I'm trying to figure out some other ones that people start saying pretty recently god damn it I had one at the tip my tongue really common buzzy things but why's they're like waz up and everybody should say what's up to everyone that was one of the first ones that was so annoying that was one of the first ones but there's been some other ones that people just like little weird patterns that people just repeat over and over again they hear other people say you know it's interesting how those sort of get passed around they sound cool someone says something it sounds cool and everybody starts saying it yeah there's a bunch of them totes me goats you know what i say and i really mean it i say to my friends i hope everything's groovy i say that always say that and like text messages you know what i say a lot only only in person but i always say what's cooking good looking it's i found out people love it men love it women love it everybody loves it why not right that's a compliment instead of just saying hi it's like hey what's cooking good looking yep they tell you tony hingecliff's a fun guy yeah right away yep yep hey good looking what you got cooking imagine if that was the only kind of songs that you could listen to that's all they had how's about cooking something love with me man music used to be dude imagine back when they only had a harp oh that's all they had fucking harp and everybody would just sit around going oh they're covered in blood they have fucking sword marks all over their body and some assholes up there playing a harp you're supposed to take it seriously like Fuck that harp I started watching Vikings I'm on season one You ever watch Vikings?

[1401] It's a good fucking show I like the first episode I was like oh this is very like TV showish I was prejudiced going in But it wasn't The first one is like a little slow Sort of setting it up around Because they're setting everything up And they have to over a long period of time And to get to about episode four It starts cracking Where you're like Whoa this is a good fucking show show.

[1402] I don't know how much of it is historically accurate, but it is on the history channel.

[1403] But man, the Vikings were crazy.

[1404] They were doing mushrooms and having orgies and the women would fight in battle.

[1405] They were wild fucking people, man. I don't know how much of this is like really, really accurate or what actual historians think about it.

[1406] I mean, we know that Vikings were incredible warriors big giant fucking dudes and that's like what you see still over there in Iceland like you know they have like some of the strongest men competitions like a lot of those dudes come from Iceland yeah like duh those are the rapers and the pillagers yeah just throwing barrels yeah man a thousand years ago those guys showed up on shore covered with armor and swinging an axe and you are fucked you're fucked everybody's fucked yeah those guys were crazy and again I don't know how much of this show is horseshit and how much of it is actual historical data and how much is just dramatic interpretations of what they thought would be cool that would happen mostly that right there's no way you actually know what they said a thousand fucking years ago a bunch of stories being passed down no pictures of the guy you know like you guys things get real weird when you're talking about a thousand years ago but fuck it's interesting it makes you wonder like how would I survive in this crazy environment crazy I get I'm cold all the time all the time yeah all the time all the time there's always a part every morning when I get out of the shower in which I just want to like die right right after shutting off the water before grabbing my towel you would die then yeah you wouldn't be able to make it with the Vikings no I wouldn't make it you wouldn't be able to make it uh -uh you've accepted that though totally I like that because you're just not you're not fighting it just like this is who I am it's been that way my whole life I've always hated the cold no doubt it's a big part of the me picking L .A. over New York.

[1407] Do wear footy pajamas?

[1408] No, only because I don't have footy pajamas.

[1409] If I had some.

[1410] A fucking bunch of people, if you should set up one of them Amazon gift accounts that like some gals have, Instagram fame gals, you know, where people could spoil you.

[1411] If anybody wants to see me some footy pajamas, I'm 5 '9 about a buck 45 right now.

[1412] Let's do this.

[1413] You need footy pajamas with like Bugs Bunny ears.

[1414] You need a full Bugs Bunny outfit.

[1415] The tan rabbit outfit.

[1416] A little sleeping hat up top.

[1417] Yeah, yeah.

[1418] Or, yeah, anything else, it's like too dangerously furry.

[1419] Like, you can get away with just ears, but as soon as you have a tail, you have a tail, bro?

[1420] Hey.

[1421] You have a tail?

[1422] It's not pajamas anymore, man. That's a fucking costume.

[1423] Yeah, see right there?

[1424] That's not a costume.

[1425] That's pajamas.

[1426] But let me see his ass.

[1427] Oh, what is his feet?

[1428] His feet.

[1429] He's clearly.

[1430] It's clearly pajamas, because you can't have a costume where the feet are heads, too.

[1431] Nobody thinks those feet are your heads.

[1432] That's ridiculous.

[1433] So those are pajamas.

[1434] He's got feet.

[1435] The feet are heads.

[1436] That doesn't even make sense.

[1437] How's that work?

[1438] Imagine?

[1439] You got, well, I got my big head, then I got two little heads that I walk around on.

[1440] The fuck kind of species are you.

[1441] Look at this.

[1442] Look at this thing.

[1443] Wow.

[1444] So the ears are on top, and then what?

[1445] You can't get enough mice, so you have to have mice downstairs, too?

[1446] Is that what this is?

[1447] Or a rabbit?

[1448] You can't get enough rabbit.

[1449] I need more rabbit, dad.

[1450] Sweetie, I got you a rabbit costume.

[1451] You are a rabbit.

[1452] But my feet aren't rabbits.

[1453] What can my feet are rabbits, dad?

[1454] Debbie's feet are rabbits.

[1455] All right, we'll get you the rabbits' feet.

[1456] Okay, we'll get you the rabbit's feet.

[1457] But no tail.

[1458] Does someone demand the rabbit's feet?

[1459] This is what I want to know.

[1460] Like, how did it get to that?

[1461] Did someone say, well, we've been trying to make actual rabbit feet, but they look stupid?

[1462] And then someone come along, go, I've got an idea.

[1463] I don't think a little stuff rabbit head.

[1464] you can put it right here on your foot yeah i just see what are we doing here is this is this uh a new mythical creature we're creating it's got heads on its feet the fuck is that each feet with its own everybody just accepts it just take it home give your kids some fucked up anatomy lesson yeah daddy look i have heads on my feet how come i can't have heads on my feet that's how it starts yeah heads on the feet is exactly where it starts do you ever uh wear anything weird to bed?

[1465] You do?

[1466] I think everybody wants to know.

[1467] We're armor.

[1468] Never know.

[1469] Helmets and shit.

[1470] It's a loud sleeper.

[1471] Oh, that's cool.

[1472] You got a Superman.

[1473] It's got a nice one.

[1474] Superman seems to not actually have a cape too, which is good.

[1475] Batman seems to be a real cape.

[1476] Is that a real cape of Batman?

[1477] Whoa.

[1478] So you don't want to sleep with a cape and choke yourself in the middle of the night, dying your sleep.

[1479] You know?

[1480] Mm -mm.

[1481] You know?

[1482] It just doesn't seem right.

[1483] The Wonder Woman.

[1484] one.

[1485] You know what drives me crazy about all this Wonder Woman shit?

[1486] It's men who get upset at Wonder Woman.

[1487] It's the same thing that drives me crazy about this Black Panther movie.

[1488] What drives me crazy about this Black Panther movie is people getting upset about this Black Panther movie on both sides.

[1489] First of all, white people making a big deal.

[1490] Like, oh great, oh, it's all black people.

[1491] Like, what shouldn't just be all good people?

[1492] Like, of course, this is the way the story was and this is the way they want to promote it why do you care like it doesn't I don't care but then it goes the other way and I do care where I've seen crazy liberal psychos and there were white people in fact saying white people stay the fuck out of the theater while this while Black Panther is out don't steal their joy with your white privilege oh my God I literally saw something along those lines I saw a couple of them one of them where a woman was asking when it was appropriate to see it and she didn't she didn't want to ruin it with her whiteness she was totally serious totally serious and those people were real people and they think that that's that makes sense like god damn it when shaft was out do you think white people couldn't go see shaft when blade came out 98 did white people stay home like what are we doing are we more divided now than we ever were before.

[1493] We're so silly that you can't.

[1494] I want to go see Black Panther because I like fucking superhero movies and it looks cool.

[1495] The fact that anybody would give a shit one way or the other, I guess if you're a black kid or a black guy who's like, hey, this gives all of us hope that there's more opportunity for movies to be made like that.

[1496] The people aren't really racist and they can embrace a black superhero the same way they can embrace the Hulk or Thor if the movie's really good.

[1497] And I hope the movie's really good and I hope that's exactly what happens.

[1498] But how the fuck did it change so much from when blade was around because when blade was around dude nobody even thought about the fact that it was a black superhero movie i mean i guess some people did but the emphasis was the fact that wesley fucking snipes was blade yeah and it looked good and he was doing karate and chopping vampires up with swords and shit it was a fucking badass movie that movie was super successful they did two sequels so like what's changed how the fuck is it changed from then until now what's Why is now, why is it a big deal if there's a black superhero, but it wasn't a big deal then?

[1499] Like, are we deteriorating or is it just more noise?

[1500] Because of social media, do you get a more distorted sense of how the country actually feels?

[1501] Because the people that are more inclined to chime in regularly and vehemently are oftentimes not the ones who are calculated and, you know, assessing thinkers.

[1502] They're maybe a little bit more aggressive, shooting off the cuff.

[1503] So what you're getting is not an accurate representation about people feel.

[1504] But then you start defending it as if it is accurate.

[1505] And so then people start telling white people to stay the fuck home.

[1506] Now you've got craziness.

[1507] And you've got craziness because of the fringe.

[1508] The fringe on both sides.

[1509] But in the middle, most people are like, I hope it's a cool movie.

[1510] Yeah.

[1511] Like, could you imagine if you had a friend and you want to go see that Black Panther movie?

[1512] No, man, fucking these uppity black dudes are just really getting into this movie too much.

[1513] You'd be like, what?

[1514] Yeah.

[1515] You would immediately stop hanging out with that guy.

[1516] And you'd probably tell all of us.

[1517] You'd be like, you wouldn't know what that fucking guy said?

[1518] And we'd be like, what?

[1519] Like all, you know, all that stuff is disgusting.

[1520] All of it's disgusting.

[1521] It's disgusting on both sides.

[1522] It's like anytime you're prejudiced against white people or even critical about yourself being white that you should stay the fuck away from places, that is crazy.

[1523] Not talking about intruding on cultural rituals.

[1524] We're talking about an awesome movie.

[1525] Everybody who can buy a ticket should buy a ticket.

[1526] It'll make the movie more successful.

[1527] You want giant opening weekends.

[1528] If you really love this movie and you want movies like this to be successful, you should be promoting it for everybody.

[1529] White people, black people, Asian people.

[1530] Who gives a fuck?

[1531] Go see the superhero movie.

[1532] It's going to be fun.

[1533] He's got a pendant.

[1534] It turns into a fucking bulletproof outfit and he fucks people up.

[1535] You shoot him, he gets more powerful.

[1536] It's fun.

[1537] Go watch.

[1538] Like, who's the shit if it's...

[1539] I get the people that take pride in it.

[1540] They feel like something's happening for them that it's a black guy, but the people that are white that have an issue with it, oh my God, you've got to let some shit go.

[1541] You just got to let the noise go by.

[1542] Don't let it bounce around inside your head and come up with a, yeah, but I'm not racist, and why do I have to get shoved in my face?

[1543] Everybody's got to meet in the middle.

[1544] It's a crazy time.

[1545] Everybody's got to meet in the middle.

[1546] There's way less tension and conflict than is being verbalized.

[1547] That's what I think.

[1548] I think if people just realize that a lot of the shit that we're clinging to is just some ways.

[1549] we've been thinking and behaving for a long time and then we can all just fucking communicate with each other just a little bit better i just don't think i don't think that racism's gotten worse i think it absolutely's gotten worse in some places i think there's places where racism exists and i think those i think when you have young kids that are raised with racism and family members that are raised of racism in a community that embraces racism which has existed in the past you know we don't even have to talk about today but in the past there was most certainly really racist neighborhood.

[1550] The Italian neighborhoods in New York where if black people moved in, they were treated terribly and horrible shit happened.

[1551] A lot of times they weren't even allowed to move in in the first place.

[1552] There's always been stuff like that.

[1553] So if there's always been stuff like that, it's a natural human inclination that we have to iron out.

[1554] We can't just eliminate it by making it illegal or eliminate it by prosecuting people.

[1555] We have to figure out why people think like that.

[1556] It's a scary way to think.

[1557] It's a scary way to think that any one speak...

[1558] Look, first of all, All of us, all of us, almost anyone listening to this, in comparison to someone like Elon Musk is basically a chimp.

[1559] Okay?

[1560] So you want to be racist.

[1561] You should be racist against this African guy that's smarter than everybody.

[1562] Like, that's a real African guy from South Africa.

[1563] Elon Musk?

[1564] Yes.

[1565] Wow.

[1566] Yeah.

[1567] He's a real African American.

[1568] Yeah.

[1569] Like legitimately.

[1570] But obviously, there's a difference between black African and I believe is the Dutch that originally settled that area.

[1571] You know, and he's the descendants of those people.

[1572] But my point is, like, we're all dumbasses compared to that guy.

[1573] So stop getting all uppity about why people, you know, having better GPAs and whatever other race you're comparing us to.

[1574] Because you're stupid compared to that one African dude.

[1575] Like, you're dumb.

[1576] For sure.

[1577] For sure, like, there's no way your vote should count more than his.

[1578] Yeah, right?

[1579] Mine personally or most people?

[1580] Anybody's.

[1581] Yours personally.

[1582] I don't know.

[1583] This idea that this one race is better than the other race is fucking stupid.

[1584] The people that are really clinging to it usually don't have shit going on other than that.

[1585] That's the problem with racism.

[1586] It puts people in a camp of winners when they really don't have to do shit to get into the team.

[1587] You know, the entrance is instantaneous.

[1588] it's you just oh you're white you're in you know that's ridiculous that's a that's a that's a ridiculous team that's the problem that's one of the main problems with with the ridiculous nature of racism like especially organized racism that you're just going to take everybody that looks like you that's it that's all not not how they think not what they've read not their life experiences not how you feel when you're hanging around with them not how they make you laugh no you want to make sure that they have blood from a certain and a patch of dirt.

[1589] Yeah.

[1590] It's crazy.

[1591] It's so stupid.

[1592] And they moved the goalpost, too, because I'm a white guy now.

[1593] But when my grandparents came here, they were dirty guineas.

[1594] Yeah.

[1595] You know, they were thought of the way a lot of people think about Mexicans.

[1596] You know, same kind of thing.

[1597] No, exactly.

[1598] That's changed.

[1599] Now Italians are full on white.

[1600] Yep.

[1601] Totally.

[1602] We almost lost our distinction with Jersey Shore.

[1603] We almost lost it.

[1604] Yeah.

[1605] We came real close to losing it.

[1606] Close.

[1607] But we're regular white now, again.

[1608] I feel pretty good about regular white.

[1609] Yeah.

[1610] Your whole family's Italian, right?

[1611] Yep.

[1612] Crazy Italian.

[1613] Everybody East Coast Italian's crazy Italian.

[1614] It's almost redundant.

[1615] East Coast Italian's a different animal.

[1616] Yeah.

[1617] My dad has an Italian restaurant, though, so it's a little bit, like, amped up.

[1618] Because the whole family will go there on his side.

[1619] mom makes crazy spaghetti sauce so that's what everybody wants for every holiday and everything so everybody's always trying to get like red sauce in their stomach yeah whether it's one side or the other of the family you know what's really interesting is that like that sort of style of cooking is not the same out here at all i literally last night for valentine's day my wife and i thought out a container of my mom's sauce that she sent out in a frozen block and had that instead of going to some fancy dinner that's what we wanted and it was priceless and even then in our i mean every bite you're like holy shit it's like a new york bagel or something like that tour it's just different like 70 % better than what you can find here in l. yeah there's difference in the bread for sure there's no doubt about it and most people smarter than me attributed to the water they think that there's something different in the water in the east coast like new york and boston that when they make bread it's just a different flavor to it i also think that there's something to the humidity in the air they're actually being they mean we forget we live in a desert because it doesn't feel like a desert but it's a desert to bread it's a desert that's a good point man yeah that's a real good point yeah pasta tastes better there yeah um pizza definitely tastes better there and bagels tastes better they have a different thing they feel different when they go in your mouth hell yeah totally yeah they're just better they're trying hard out here some guys are getting really close yeah it's weird but if you really want to go cheat it cheat you know get a good solid New York style bagel out here for like a cheat day everything's different out here they try but it's not ever really the same yeah there's not as nearly as many of those Middle Eastern food trucks like as in New York New York those Middle Eastern food trucks are everywhere that have those killer kebabs yeah what do they call those things when it's a kebab sandwich inside a falafel or inside of a like a tortilla what do they call that shit.

[1620] It's a, like a pita, just a peta sandwich.

[1621] isn't that it?

[1622] Yeah, Swarma, right?

[1623] Yeah, that's it.

[1624] And then they have that white sauce that they put on it.

[1625] You know, they squirt all that shit on?

[1626] Taziki sauce, right.

[1627] And then the hot sauce on top of that.

[1628] Woo!

[1629] Fuck yeah.

[1630] Oh my God.

[1631] If it's like two o 'clock in the morning and you've had like one more drink than you should have, just one more.

[1632] You're all right.

[1633] And you're like, oh, but I'm so hungry.

[1634] And you see that?

[1635] You're like, yeah.

[1636] We have taco trucks here, tons of them that's true that's true we have way more good Mexican food here way more but obviously dude there's a joint down the street I wish we had more time today I'd take it to like one of the most legit Mexican joints in the valley I don't even want to say the name these white ruinous people ruining my authentic Mexican place you go in there dude they got authentic Mexican TV shows playing barely anybody understands what the fuck you're saying when you're ordering things so you have to you have to order you know those cases ideas you got to talk you got to read off the menu yeah a few of those guys understand English but the food is insane they have tongue they have this whole bucket full of boiling lungs lingua yeah chopping up making lingua tacos I love that shit white people don't know what they're doing with tongues what do they do they turn it to like some Jewish deli food or that's it yeah but Mexican food they're like that's that's the move do Lingu's expensive it's fucking awesome it's really good it's a weird sort of texture count So good.

[1637] That's a legit place, though.

[1638] And then you go to the, they always have a real legit place.

[1639] We'll have those little aluminum, uh, chrome looking containers.

[1640] And they're filled with jalapinos and peppers and onions, right?

[1641] And you scoop that fucking those, that big clump of death out of there.

[1642] Those jalapinos, man. There's always those creepy carrots for some reason.

[1643] Yeah.

[1644] Some people like those carrots.

[1645] Take you off those jalapinos, but those jalapinos kick your ass.

[1646] you use jalapinos and then it's jalapinos you find in those little dishes at mexican restaurants when you bite into them and you're like whoa because it's all seeds fuck taking those seeds out just thinking that that place had a vibe where you got to kind of know what you're doing when you go in there similar to that place you took me in new york it's a famous deli but i can't remember the name is that where we went at night yeah yeah yeah yeah where you got to know what the fuck's going on or yeah you got to know where the fuck you're ordering and then where you're picking up just it's not cut and dry yeah but how legit it was that place.

[1647] I was just thinking very unique to the coast because like in Ohio we have our own unique restaurants and food and all that kind of stuff but there aren't places like that where it's a machine unique to that place unique to Ohio there are a few places like that but it's not a similar style of experience.

[1648] The place is always packed too always packed because the food's so good don't lose your ticket how about that for an how's that for an interesting restaurant cats yeah cats is weird lose your ticket try to walk out they charge you.

[1649] this Mexican joint doesn't do it like that.

[1650] But the way Katz has it, if you've never been, Katz Deli in New York has been around since, who, God, it's, I want to say more than 100 years old, I think, or somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 years old.

[1651] But when you go in there, you get a ticket?

[1652] 1888.

[1653] Wow.

[1654] That's crazy.

[1655] That's crazy.

[1656] God damn.

[1657] 1888.

[1658] And I bet they ran it just the way they run it now.

[1659] You walk in, They give you a ticket, and then you walk up to the counters, and then there's one guy that, like, cuts up meat, another guy has, like, pickles, and they'll give you, like, samples.

[1660] They'll slice off a piece of brisket for you, and you're like, holy shit.

[1661] Slice off a little piece of that, pastrami, corn beef.

[1662] The corned beef is off the fucking charts, and you eat it with real American steak fries.

[1663] Yeah.

[1664] Every bite of it is just better than anything else.

[1665] It's so good.

[1666] It's so good.

[1667] It's one of my favorite cheat meat.

[1668] else last time i was there i was there with uh little jimmy norton and uh russell uh not russell jeff ross came over and sat down with us i was there with you yeah remember that was great that was awesome out of nowhere those guys just show up yep dude that was so good well jimmy came to meet us there yeah but um ross we just randomly ran into it's awesome that place is like and there's just no there's no doubting in my mind at least that there's something special about a place that's been used for the same thing for a long time you know like a place where you go and you feel it like whoa like this place like Madison Square Garden like walking around and mass and square garden we did the UFC there you're walking around you're like whoa like this place this place feels different yeah like it's got a a resonance to it like maybe it's just my mind being aware of what an incredible building that is and all the incredible stars that have performed there but I think he's more than that.

[1669] Carnegie Deli's gone.

[1670] You know, it's closed.

[1671] Yeah, it closes at the end of 2016.

[1672] Oh, my God.

[1673] As long as they don't close Cantors in L .A., I'm good.

[1674] I need Cantors to stay open.

[1675] Really?

[1676] Fuck, yeah.

[1677] Hmm.

[1678] You don't like Cantors?

[1679] I'm not a Cantor's guy.

[1680] You son of a bitch.

[1681] This is like where he plays the heel in wrestling.

[1682] Yeah.

[1683] He knows Cantors is amazing.

[1684] He's like crossing his arms.

[1685] He's body match.

[1686] You really believe that?

[1687] Canter's...

[1688] Look at him.

[1689] When do you go to Cantors?

[1690] All the time.

[1691] Oh, yeah.

[1692] Jamie's been with me Jamie's my real friend Wow I live By the way I live Two blocks away from there And you would have met me there And complained about the food Well I mean You're a canter's guys I'm more in a pro wrestling Greenblets is great man Oh how damn Compare those two I was bummed out That they closed the Jerry's Deli In Woodland Hills Yeah Like no Now you have to go to Encino Yeah because they closed The one in Beverly Hills too That's wrong That's wrong, too.

[1693] That's wrong.

[1694] I think they have Manhattan Beach now and Encino.

[1695] Those are the only two that are left.

[1696] That's too bad.

[1697] Old school, real Jewish delis like that, they have the most ridiculous chicken soup.

[1698] Have you ever had Jerry's deli?

[1699] Chicken soup?

[1700] Their chicken soup with Tabasco sauce and black pepper.

[1701] Get the fuck out of here.

[1702] Mix that shit up.

[1703] As it's going down, chunks of juicy chicken in there with the noodles and the The broth is perfect They've been making that broth since Jesus was around Wow, that's a scientific fact It's an old, old, old recipe The broth It's Jewish food They've been making that broth Since Jesus was around Allegedly I don't know if Jesus is real But that broth's real as fuck Yeah Which came first Jesus or the broth Dumb dumb dumb I wonder if they probably had chicken soup forever Right wouldn't you imagine Did he turn water in a broth?

[1704] Oh you son of a bitch You thought that was going to sneak through?

[1705] He turned the water and a prod.

[1706] That UFO, Tony, you were talking about, was on Rescue 9 -1 -1.

[1707] Did you know that?

[1708] Yeah, Liberty Officer Toby Malaro.

[1709] Turnbull County.

[1710] There's a whole thing that's on YouTube, if you can find it.

[1711] You knew this guy?

[1712] And he was a dick?

[1713] Yeah.

[1714] So you think it's bullshit?

[1715] Yeah.

[1716] I mean, we'll say allegedly.

[1717] Yeah.

[1718] Let's protect ourselves legally.

[1719] Yeah.

[1720] Yeah, he, uh, obviously, this is Tony speaking.

[1721] I have no knowledge of this man, whether or not he's honorable or not.

[1722] It's not my attention.

[1723] See, that's the cop.

[1724] I wondered, uh, there he is.

[1725] Look, his buddy's laughing at him.

[1726] Wow.

[1727] Yeah, that's Toby Malaro.

[1728] I'll always remember him.

[1729] You know what, man, if people find out that they can get attention from saying that UFOs are real, that they saw him, they'll do it.

[1730] I know it from first and experience.

[1731] I've told the story before, but I don't know if I ever told it to you.

[1732] I was doing a show for CBS called Game Show in my head.

[1733] And what they had was they had a setup where I had an earpiece in and the person who was the contestant in the show had an earpiece in.

[1734] And we would set them out in the middle of somewhere and then start asking them questions and telling them what they were going to have to do.

[1735] We'd say, are you ready?

[1736] You ready to do this?

[1737] Okay, here is what you have to do.

[1738] I told this guy, you are a newscaster.

[1739] Now, you showed up to do a story about a guy who is, taken aboard a UFO, a person who was taken aboard a UFO.

[1740] But this person's gone, so you have to find a random stranger to pretend it was them.

[1741] And then tell you a story about getting taken aboard the spaceship and getting probed.

[1742] And dude, people just did it.

[1743] It was the weirdest thing ever.

[1744] So here it is.

[1745] So this is the young man, and this young man was, look at me. So that's right, I love that.

[1746] to lie for you and say those things on camera you win you have five minutes to win five thousand dollars good luck buddy so this dude just walks up to people we'll probably get kicked off of you too for using any of this but this uh dude just talks comes up and talks to people and he just explains to me i'm in a real bad situation there's there was a UFO uh visualization or whatever the fuck he says and i just need someone to pretend it was them wow and dude people do it and when they do it they started they put their shit down and they start telling a story and not just one guy I mean he got several people to do it wow yeah listen to the guy well we can't listen to it right we'll get kicked off anyway you can go watch it people go watch game show in my head um the dude's name was Craig sorry Craig if I can't remember your last name but uh he got a bunch of people to talk about being abducted by aliens the thing was it was so easy to get When people know that they're going to be on camera, they get excited.

[1747] Like, the idea of being on cameras, like, I'll just fucking make some crazy shit up.

[1748] And then all of us sit back, or like Jane Goodall's like, I talked to do Native Americans, and they told me. They're probably giving her wine, trying to get freaky with her.

[1749] Yeah, I've seen Bigfoot.

[1750] I know where he lives.

[1751] They're all getting high.

[1752] And shit, you know.

[1753] Maybe, but for real, maybe Bigfoot exists.

[1754] if you take peyote and go in the woods maybe you can see him maybe you only see glimpse of them maybe bigfoot's a ghost that you only see when you're on peyote i think uh if i'm doing peyote in the woods i'm definitely seeing bigfoot on top of many other things let me ask you this yeah if you were if you could say like with a hundred percent certainty like what if you had like a thousand dollars to gamble okay do you think you saw a ghost or do you think you're just playing tricks on yourself, and then the more you think about it, the more you've added stuff to the memory, and fuck with that memory in your head.

[1755] It's actually a little bit scarier.

[1756] I'm going to be honest with it.

[1757] It's a little bit scarier than I even told you, because, get this, that night, after I didn't tell anybody all day, all of a sudden, Jeff Scott, out of all the nights that I've seen him there and hung out with him there, the house piano player of like 25 years, out of all the nights, without telling anybody what I saw earlier, not a soul, said that he saw that that night and I'm like wait what what did you see he's like it was like a white glowing thing like that and that's when I went dude I saw that thing earlier today here oh my god so there's the there's the part that I since you want to make it about a thousand bucks bet if I in imaginary money like that part has to be set out loud because that that That's crazy.

[1758] We were going to, uh, I've freaked myself out there before.

[1759] Yeah, a bunch of times.

[1760] You know what freaks me out the most?

[1761] The, the, um, belly room when the shows are off.

[1762] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[1763] That's where this happened.

[1764] Yeah.

[1765] That's the spot that freaks me out the most.

[1766] And by the way, because it's really contained.

[1767] Yeah.

[1768] You know what?

[1769] No, I'm not being honest.

[1770] The main room when it's dark freaks me out the most.

[1771] The main room's freaky when it's dark.

[1772] I don't even like being in the back of the main room when it's dark.

[1773] There was a part of every day.

[1774] If you work the phones there, you have to walk through.

[1775] You have to walk through.

[1776] through that when it's pitch black dark to go turn on the lights to turn on the power breaker for the whole marquee and everything so you have to go out there like five or six before it gets dark because the marquee has to go on before that I have one of them tactical flashlights like the rockwood in many of his action films click click you hold it up here like it's a ramble knife and shit yeah you know looking ahead it's scary oh jamie's got one right there case the shit hits the fan jamo's gonna who are you who goes there yeah yeah the building is freaky and that belly room's got something because it is it's contained and you got mitzi's unopened sealed off office to the other side of that wall yeah power power that's where sauron's eye is yep soron's ring people don't even know about that that's the like think about all the powerful decisions took place in that one office yeah all the the different that revolves around that one woman running that one club yeah crazy yeah if you really stop and think about it what are the odds of that even being a thing like how does one person who really knows how to run a comedy club the way she did how they exist when no one else no one does it that way and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the way the other people do it and some of those other people I love dearly like I love Bob at the ice house dearly he runs a different a lot of people run it different what I'm saying is that she did something that was like that's a crazy way to do it let the inmates run the asylum like even that one when she she made an adjustment to put him in the 15 year anniversary instead of some other guy yeah yeah and uh that's what got him the next thing that got him the next thing that made him one of the biggest comedy actors ever yeah man it's um obviously everything with prior robin williams andy coffman blah blah blah it goes on and on It's stunning to think of how much comedy comes from the acts of one person, the actions of one person.

[1777] Look at that ring.

[1778] Wow.

[1779] Are you into rings or something?

[1780] Look at that.

[1781] It's just crazy.

[1782] It's a gigantic black.

[1783] What do you think it is?

[1784] I don't know.

[1785] It's black and white picture.

[1786] You think it's a ruby?

[1787] Maybe.

[1788] That's something you can never wear, right?

[1789] It's huge.

[1790] You ever think that we would get progressive enough where you could wear rubies?

[1791] I don't know.

[1792] I don't know.

[1793] I don't know.

[1794] I just can't wear ruby rings.

[1795] How many dudes?

[1796] Are any rappers like Ultra Super Flossin wearing rubies?

[1797] I'm all about rubies.

[1798] That's my thing.

[1799] I'm going to be a new rapper.

[1800] My name is all about rubies.

[1801] Them rubies or rubies?

[1802] Them seems like cultural appropriation.

[1803] I'll just say all about rubies.

[1804] DEM.

[1805] Dem rubies.

[1806] This reminds me of a lipstick challenge.

[1807] Believe that.

[1808] Yeah, the lipstick challenge, one of my favorite things.

[1809] we were high as fuck after the comedy store and we were trying to figure out some sort of a challenge and the loser would have to wear lipstick on stage for a year and you'd have to wear it you'd have to wear it for the first 15 minutes of your set after that you could wipe it off but for the first 15 minutes of your set you'd have to have like a thing of butt wipes like sitting there on your little stool on stage so you do 15 minutes of your act with ruby red lips like Miranda Sings do you know Miranda Sings is?

[1810] Yeah, pull up a picture of Miranda Sings on YouTube.

[1811] She's got a YouTube channel and a TV show.

[1812] Her TV show is haters back off.

[1813] But this is hilarious.

[1814] So that's her lips.

[1815] You're going to have to do your lips like that.

[1816] Go to a more attractive one right next to that one.

[1817] There you go.

[1818] No, go back.

[1819] There you go.

[1820] No, go back.

[1821] That one.

[1822] Perfect.

[1823] Yeah, that's it.

[1824] See, that's what we're going to do.

[1825] Just overexentuate the lips.

[1826] Clearly go above the actual shape of the lip one year.

[1827] Man. And you should do a special about it.

[1828] Yeah.

[1829] You should do a special.

[1830] Say, this is all my lipstick material that I'm going to burn off now because my curse has been lifted.

[1831] Yeah.

[1832] One year wearing lipstick.

[1833] Is he wearing lipstick?

[1834] Is he wearing a lot?

[1835] Is that Gucci -Main?

[1836] Boy, Gucci -Maine looks so much better now.

[1837] He's all thin and shit.

[1838] It's kind of interesting.

[1839] Like, he's always smiling, too.

[1840] Like, that dude looks happy as fuck.

[1841] Yeah.

[1842] Happy's out of jail, but also just looks like he's smiling a lot.

[1843] He's like, it's interesting.

[1844] I think like if I saw Gucci and he's in all these pictures and he's just kind of like mean mugging I'd have this one thought about him but instead I see Gucci in all these pictures now and he's always smiling about I'll get that bet that guy's a friendly guy you know it looks like he's having a good time and he's killing it now out of jail right isn't he like yeah see even I know he's killing it in the rap game he just released a new album he's got I thought he said back in jail no no no no back in jail you ever listen to megos No. I think you'd like them.

[1845] Who's Migos?

[1846] Migos is like a new suit.

[1847] It's like a rap group with three guys that, remember the Yingang twins?

[1848] Yeah.

[1849] So they're like the Yingang twins, but better than like with an extra member.

[1850] Wow.

[1851] Powerful.

[1852] I think, I think you would like it.

[1853] Migos rings they just got.

[1854] Whoa.

[1855] And they're like hilarious.

[1856] They're the funniest interviews.

[1857] Hold up.

[1858] Show me those rings again.

[1859] Go big with that.

[1860] picture with the fists okay am i looking at like a half a million dollars in diamonds yes that's real yeah that seems crazy to do doesn't seem crazy to be walking around with a half million dollars in diamonds hey better to be uh invested in diamonds than a bitcoin or something like that right or maybe never know dude that bitcoin shit might pop the fuck off and you'll be sitting here hating yep you don't even know Right now, but I do know one thing about Bitcoin.

[1861] If you say I think Bitcoin's stupid, people want to fuck you up.

[1862] Yeah.

[1863] If you could talk some shit on Bitcoin, those Bitcoin fanatics, they're rabbit.

[1864] It's like a little bit of religion.

[1865] Just a touch.

[1866] Wow.

[1867] Just to sprinkle.

[1868] Yeah, I think it is.

[1869] Right?

[1870] Yeah, it's to sprinkle.

[1871] And not necessarily just Bitcoin either, but there's a bunch of other crypto coins, which I fully support.

[1872] I have no dog in the fight.

[1873] Yeah, me too.

[1874] Yeah.

[1875] And we keep five of it, which.

[1876] is all dedicated to Justin Wren, and any time he wants, he can cash out.

[1877] This is all from when Antonopos is in there.

[1878] So I don't really have a stake in it, because that's all Justin Wren's money.

[1879] But real investment in Bitcoin is very fascinating to me, because if more people were interested in doing it, and it eventually spread through the entire country, everybody's decided to do it, and everybody figured out how to make it as secure as regular money is, which is not that secure.

[1880] I mean, people steal regular money, too.

[1881] If they figure out how to make it more secure and better than it is now, which just seems like they would be able to.

[1882] You never know.

[1883] Like, who's going to be faster?

[1884] The hackers or the programmers?

[1885] It seems like only one, what was the one coin that someone stole a shitload of recently?

[1886] You were just telling me about this.

[1887] Oh, yeah, 17 million nano was stolen off of an exchange.

[1888] What, no, what's a nano?

[1889] It's a different cryptic.

[1890] That's another cryptocurrency.

[1891] So the biggest one is Bitcoin.

[1892] Bitcoin, yeah.

[1893] Okay.

[1894] What's the second biggest one?

[1895] Off of like notoriety, probably Ethereum would be the second biggest, I would say.

[1896] Do you think it's possible that one day artists will invent their own crypto coins, and that's how they buy and trade tickets to shows and goods from the people that support them?

[1897] Very possible, yes.

[1898] Think about this.

[1899] Golden Pony dollars.

[1900] Yeah.

[1901] And golden pony dollars is how people pay for your shows.

[1902] You set up like a bank of golden pony dollars, like a crypto bank.

[1903] I don't know how you do it.

[1904] You do some blockchain voodoo magic programmer type shit.

[1905] Figure out how to do that.

[1906] Then, once you set that up, people buy that golden pony money in order to be able to pay you golden pony money for things.

[1907] But you only accept golden pony money.

[1908] And only you, you can only spend golden pony money.

[1909] So the only people that accept your money, The people that accept, you know, like, if you want to buy a washing machine, say, I'd like to buy it with some golden Tony dollars.

[1910] They're like, no, they don't like you.

[1911] I have to like you.

[1912] They'd go, yeah, Tony, you're a good guy.

[1913] You're funny.

[1914] I really love you on Kill Tony, and your stand -up special on Netflix was a hoot.

[1915] Sure.

[1916] We'll let you pay golden pony dollars, and then you could buy a washing machine with golden pony dollars.

[1917] And that golden pony dollars would be traded exclusively through golden pony fans.

[1918] And so, like, you really are reliant upon your fans in a way different way.

[1919] Like, you're only getting paid by your fans.

[1920] And when they want out, they're like, fuck this golden pony money.

[1921] Right.

[1922] I want to get me some of that SIMBAD dollars.

[1923] I want some SIM bad shekels.

[1924] But they still would have to cash out with me, right?

[1925] No. No, they don't have to cash out with you.

[1926] They cash out with somebody else that's in the group.

[1927] Like a certain amount of money just stays in the group.

[1928] Just like they do with Bitcoin.

[1929] Like, there's a certain amount of Bitcoin that exists.

[1930] And the price of Bitcoin will go up and down, but the number will not change.

[1931] and so that's their remedy against the modern system that we have with inflation and printing new money and all that shit so there's only a certain amount of bitcoin i don't if i'm butchering this i apologize i'm not smart you're close i haven't like a little variations but you're pretty close and so if you did that with golden pony dollars you would set up like a golden pony fund like this is this is the bitcoin that i you know this is i've calculated this out with uh current bitcoin prices if i charge you guys 20 bucks for this thing, whatever the fuck it is, then whatever you call the number, the name.

[1932] What you'll be able to do is you'll be able to pay for my shows only using that.

[1933] This is all I'm going to accept now.

[1934] And then I want to be able to use that to buy things from your store.

[1935] Sounds confusing.

[1936] I'm going to let people keep using normal money.

[1937] It's very confusing.

[1938] No, it's very confusing.

[1939] But the idea would be like, say like you have some golden pony dollars, you got some George Lopez dollars, you know, like you could.

[1940] there could be a bunch of people with their own exchanges and it could be worth something to you worth more or less depending on how bad they're killing it right now it's very confusing it's super confusing what what i'm saying is it's entirely possible that someone like snoop dog is going to come up with his own bitcoin like it would have to be someone super baller that everybody would want their their coin you know it would have to be someone like kendrick lamar dollars yeah yeah see if Kendrick Lamar puts out a Bitcoin or cryptocurrency and he says, hey, fans, this is the only way you could buy tickets to my shows.

[1941] And when I buy shit, I want to buy shit only with this stuff, but it's real money.

[1942] So if I want to buy a Ferrari with Kendrick Lamar money, better sell it to me, bitch, because that's Kendrick Lamar money is worth gold to all the Kendrick Lamar fans.

[1943] Right.

[1944] It would have to be someone of like a super, super high profile to do something like that.

[1945] Some interesting stuff.

[1946] It's not really.

[1947] You look at you falling asleep.

[1948] he's barely staying awake for me this is sort of you're sort of describing one cryptocurrency this is called Steam or Steam it which is the website that you can look at so it's like it's a band no no no this way like dig .com looks very similar to this it's like how that started so here what would happen how you you would have to exchange some money or another cryptocurrency to get some actual steam but here is the for instance of a person put up a really good article or a piece of content if you will you upvote it and then that person gets a coin or money from you essentially gets a steam coin you upvote it with a coin and that's a very early or primitive way I guess describing of what you would do so like a person creates content puts it online and then the viewers then exchange a currency for viewing and that currency only exists in this on in this platform but yeah then you can exchange then if another exchange anywhere in the world wants to start up and say like I I deem your currency valuable you can exchange it for my currency and or another currency, then that's where actual value comes in.

[1949] See, now that makes sense.

[1950] And also, especially if people are paying for stuff, like if you're writing things or making videos or something like that, and then people are paying for that, that's a fucking, you know, we're trapped in this idea of this system that we have now as far as, like, producers of television shows and movies and things like that, that this is like how you get a job in show business.

[1951] That seems like how you get a job in show business.

[1952] If you can make videos and people will give you money for those videos?

[1953] Kind of what YouTube is and a lot of people have made money off YouTube but we're dealing in dollars and whatever in the old system but this seems like more next level this could be the new system that might take over yeah well fascinating too because it could be a blog right it could be a video what else could it be this could be anything this is literally just link so they haven't I don't think this platform has opened up to having like its own video hosting or music being hosted but that would be amazing if you could write like cool ass articles and people could pay you based on the article that might bring articles back, man. I mean, not that articles are gone away, but there's a weird thing right now where it's hard for people to get paid doing digital stuff as much as like most people don't want to subscribe to, I shouldn't say it's hard for people to get paid.

[1954] It's hard for people to get people to pay for digital stuff.

[1955] Like to subscribe to an online website or something like that.

[1956] That's a tough sell, you know?

[1957] Right.

[1958] Medium .com has sort of filled that hole a little bit, but you don't get directly paid from posting on there I don't believe but people can make a medium post that has then gone viral and gotten them paid in other ways like explaining how they do a particular thing and then that leads to their store or they can sell some merch that way or other like they might make a video that's in there and then they get YouTube money off of that it's also new but that what you're describing could take off from here well it seems like if everybody decides to accept that currency then it seems like it would take off right if everybody decided it accept that currency it just seems to me that there's if if bitcoin there's a few tests right there's bitcoin there's bitcoin there's what is that dogey coin doge coin there's a few of those that are still like volatile and still hanged and i saw some article recently about these young guys that were multi -millionaires from cryptocurrency i'm like okay real multi -millionaire or multi -millionaire in cryptocurrency like what's i mean same as like a stock person because they might have a bunch of money but then some of it's also in stock.

[1959] But how quickly could they liquidate it?

[1960] That depends on exchanges.

[1961] Some of it's 24 hours.

[1962] Some of it's a couple days.

[1963] Depends on the actual coin and the way the blockchain works.

[1964] Crazy.

[1965] Yeah, it's very crazy.

[1966] It's very crazy.

[1967] To me when I think about it, I always wonder how long it's going to take before we shake ourselves of this system.

[1968] Because this system, as good as it is, and it's definitely good it's still super complicated and flawed it's very confusing what's legal and what's legal and why you have to pay taxes in one place but you cross the line and the taxes are way less like what like over here you don't pay state taxes at all huh but over there you do what like a lot of the stuff that we operate a lot of the system that we have is fucking wonky shit the tax system is just one of them right yeah it's all messed up and then a lot of people you know you can just whatever build a account overseas and avoid it that way well it seems to me that what i was going to say is that if something like a cryptocurrency can really take off and just get fully accepted use which is way more accepted now than it was a few years ago when antinopolis first started coming on here and i think you could sort of extrapolate that five maybe even 10 years from now it might be like really commonplace there's a lot of things you could buy with bitcoin now a lot of things it's really kind of interesting in that way.

[1969] You know, that's, if that works out and crypto coins become a real thing, cryptocurrency becomes a real thing, it's totally possible that can move into politics.

[1970] Like that kind of thinking of organizing and like setting up a party and deciding on important issues, that all could happen the same way.

[1971] That all could happen through some sort of an online app where people say, fuck all this voting shit.

[1972] You know, we have this new super secure thing that Elon Musk figured out and now everybody all they have to do is have a cell phone number and they take a photo of themselves as they're doing it so it's biometric right so you know that someone's not cheating you get take a photo of you you put in your vote and you have little videos for each issue can watch little videos on your phone tells you exactly what's going on with each issue here people who are pro it here people are con it and it's like one of those things where like if you ever take a test online Have you ever done one of those?

[1973] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1974] And at the end, you like press send and you press, you know, all the results.

[1975] All you got 90 % right.

[1976] And so you move on.

[1977] That could be the same way.

[1978] I mean, it could be something along those lines.

[1979] Those things are so easily beatable.

[1980] I just had to do that for traffic school.

[1981] Get out of a ticket a couple weeks ago.

[1982] It's so ridiculous.

[1983] It tells you which ones are wrong on the yes or no. And they're like, uh, you want to try it again?

[1984] And I'm like, uh, yeah.

[1985] I don't think everyone's smart.

[1986] Yeah.

[1987] I finished, fun fact, I finished traffic school what's supposed to be this huge test in like, I don't know, maybe nine minutes.

[1988] Just next, next, next, next, next, take the test, whatever, then fix the answers, done.

[1989] They could do that with voting.

[1990] Yeah.

[1991] They could totally do that with voting.

[1992] Yeah.

[1993] 100%.

[1994] They don't want it, they don't want it to be that easy.

[1995] And that's when there's going to be real weird shit where, like, Logan Paul manipulates the vote.

[1996] you know what I'm saying like I don't mean illegally I mean like saying hey go out and vote for this guy you know or Kim Kardashian I want you to vote for my friend you know she wants to run this motherfucker that is a black mirror episode yeah about like a cartoon character becoming the fucking there you go leader black mirror always has the best ideas I'm always late to the party I think it's coming I think Kanye could do it in 2020 if he runs and he'll fall apart he don't do well under that but what have we learned falling apart could get you the role he's not he's not that guy he's not like that Trump guy.

[1997] Trump lets that shit roll off his back.

[1998] For most people, that stuff's devastating.

[1999] Like, I don't think it's a coincidence that Kanye had that event where he talked about supporting Trump, that he would have voted on Trump.

[2000] That's what he said it.

[2001] And everybody went crazy.

[2002] And then he went crazy.

[2003] And he checked himself into a, yeah.

[2004] Eight days.

[2005] For eight days in the hospital.

[2006] Like, it's not good.

[2007] Right?

[2008] That's not a person who's good.

[2009] I mean, who knows what the fuck was going on outside of that.

[2010] But the scrutiny compounded it with no question at all.

[2011] when a bunch of people are mad at you and all your fans are mad at you and then you wind up canceling the whole tour yeah that's that guy shouldn't you know obviously shouldn't be president but I don't even think she's try I just don't think it just seems like a lot of pressure for him and he's a fucking great musician make your awesome music yeah exactly make your awesome music don't run for president like when do you think we're ever going to get off of this like people keep saying you know Alec Baldwin can actually run and win for the Democrats Okay, maybe he could You might be right He might be able to He totally But when When do we say Hey we need We need to rethink This whole fucking system We can't keep Let him people Run the country That's crazy I have to just be popular I like him more That's the whole thing That's been the thing forever It's weird It doesn't make any sense Shouldn't you have to take a test And we find out Who would be best At running the country Like shouldn't it be a test Like there's a test For the driver's license Yeah There's a test for traffic school.

[2012] Is this a test for traffic school?

[2013] Why isn't there a test for president?

[2014] Shouldn't you be like, shouldn't you have to have some good answers to some questions they pose?

[2015] It's the most ridiculous job ever.

[2016] Because it was created so long ago that it has so many holes in the idea behind it.

[2017] Like you don't have to at least know how to run the country.

[2018] Like shouldn't people know the results of your test?

[2019] You should take a test and people say, look, we got good news and we got bad news.

[2020] The good news is he can read.

[2021] The bad news is He got everything wrong You got everything wrong You can't be president Like oh all right Well we got to find a guy Who can pass the test He's also popular Then people would try to cheat for him Yeah Who can keep a budget Who can speak Who can And Obama at least taught Congregor Constitutional law Yeah So you could at least think he would know He probably knows a lot Constitution I would imagine knows quite a bit Uh huh Have you ever heard Of Trump University My friend Oh, that's right.

[2022] He had a whole university.

[2023] Lawsuit.

[2024] He had his own university.

[2025] How many lawsuits are involved in that?

[2026] I don't know how many.

[2027] I think it became a class action.

[2028] He had to pick $25 million or something to that class.

[2029] A lot of cheddar.

[2030] What was Trump University?

[2031] It was a, like, one of those.

[2032] How are you laughing, Jamie?

[2033] Yeah, because it was like a real estate.

[2034] They show you how to, like, turn and burn and flip houses and businesses, and they show you how to become a real estate mogul.

[2035] For profit.

[2036] Education company that ran real estate training program for five years.

[2037] Was it any good?

[2038] Like, were the success stories out of it?

[2039] Yeah.

[2040] I don't know.

[2041] It was licensed by Trump University, owned by Trump organization.

[2042] But not owned by the Trump organization?

[2043] Huh?

[2044] Probably a different LLC or something.

[2045] Oh, okay.

[2046] Multiple lawsuits.

[2047] What an interesting idea.

[2048] Who's just going to teach people how to make money?

[2049] Is that the idea?

[2050] Yeah.

[2051] It seems like, you know, one of those like infomercials or something like that.

[2052] He's a fucking character.

[2053] I'll tell you that.

[2054] When all is said and done, that will be a guy that stands out in human history.

[2055] We're going to look at that guy and go, wow.

[2056] I think that's what he wanted.

[2057] He definitely got that.

[2058] Do you think he's going to want to run again?

[2059] Oh, my God.

[2060] Yes.

[2061] Are you kidding me?

[2062] Are you kidding me?

[2063] This is what this guy lives for.

[2064] He lives for watching the news and see.

[2065] seeing him on it every day.

[2066] is that what they think?

[2067] I'll show them.

[2068] That's his whole thing.

[2069] It's so real.

[2070] Everything from the inside and everything I've ever heard about the guy says that, that he's just, I mean, how much longer do you think you'd do it?

[2071] At what age do you start to get worn out by all this shit?

[2072] Right?

[2073] I mean, think of the kind of hate Kanye got for supporting Trump, and I'll think of the kind of hate Trump cats.

[2074] It is some next level stuff.

[2075] I mean, you have to have some crazy resolve to be able to absorb that kind of hate.

[2076] It's got to be a little insulated from some of it, though.

[2077] I'm sure.

[2078] But, you know.

[2079] They might hide him from some of it.

[2080] But some of it, they actually project on his building.

[2081] You know?

[2082] Yeah.

[2083] They project shit on his building.

[2084] They stand across the street with a projector.

[2085] Hasn't he been dealing with that forever, though.

[2086] Not like that.

[2087] No. I don't think so.

[2088] W .W .E. Hall of Famer, by the way.

[2089] Is he?

[2090] Yeah, he's been stone cold stunned.

[2091] He's been stone cold stunned.

[2092] Yeah, he was in a...

[2093] What is a stone cold stung?

[2094] Stunner, how does that go down?

[2095] Oh, you don't want to know this one.

[2096] I'm going to be honest with you, Joe.

[2097] Out of all the many pro wrestling moves that don't seem to be effective, this is way up there.

[2098] And the devastation that it leaves, like, guys are, like, out for, like, a minute after a Stone Cold stunner, and it's pretty bad.

[2099] I'm going to be honest.

[2100] I love Stone Cold.

[2101] One of the greats ever.

[2102] Probably the reason why we have the rock is because Stone Cold was so raw and dirty on the mic.

[2103] Let me ask you this, and I want you to be real.

[2104] Do you think that this stone cold stunner exists?

[2105] I said, why'd they shave his head?

[2106] Because he lost a haircut match between Vince and, uh, between Vince and Trump.

[2107] One was going to get there.

[2108] Is that Bobby Lashley?

[2109] Yeah.

[2110] See, I know my shit, dude.

[2111] Hell yeah, you do.

[2112] So the stone cold stunner, Steve Austin has his arm up in the air.

[2113] Oh, he's calling him for cans of beers.

[2114] That's another thing.

[2115] Every time stone cold.

[2116] They hit each other with cans of beers?

[2117] No, they drink them?

[2118] Oh, he drinks one.

[2119] And they let him drink one in the middle of the fight?

[2120] Oh, yeah.

[2121] He doesn't really, no, the fight's over.

[2122] Fights over.

[2123] Look, he's about to cheers Donald Trump.

[2124] Steve Weiser.

[2125] Okay, why is he wearing a shirt?

[2126] Is he wrestling or is he a ref in this?

[2127] He was a ref. But he's still about to stun.

[2128] Here you go.

[2129] Boom.

[2130] He hits him, boom.

[2131] So it's like he lands on his butt, but your head is on his shoulder and it's supposed to just put you out.

[2132] Wait a minute.

[2133] One more time, please.

[2134] This is so odd.

[2135] So he steps forward.

[2136] Let's get a good angle on this.

[2137] You could find the one.

[2138] Hold on.

[2139] There's a good.

[2140] Boom.

[2141] Bam.

[2142] I didn't even jump.

[2143] Jamie, there's one where Stone Cold like stuns every McMahon and everybody in a ring.

[2144] Like there's, there was a one.

[2145] one epic one where he stunn like 30 guys in a row.

[2146] It might be one of the faker things ever.

[2147] I've seen you repost some of bad things that have been happening.

[2148] It does.

[2149] It hurts every time.

[2150] Well, you know, you need higher quality stuff out there.

[2151] See, that's a stunner.

[2152] That's a stunner right there?

[2153] Technically, yes.

[2154] There's the Rock.

[2155] Boom.

[2156] See, the Rock knew how to sell that.

[2157] That's Kane, that's the Undertaker's brother.

[2158] Goodbye.

[2159] Yeah, the Rock made it fun, right?

[2160] Like, it didn't seem realistic.

[2161] Yeah, I read a thing recently about the people's elbow, which became his big finishing move, and it was sort of a joke that worked so well with the crowd that they all just laughed about it backstage, and it just became this fucking...

[2162] Okay, let me tell you something.

[2163] If this guy did this to you, actually did this to you, it would not feel good.

[2164] This is not a real finishing move, per se, but that could fuck you up, especially a big, strong guy like you.

[2165] Not that one.

[2166] Not that one.

[2167] But some of them, because what he's doing is he's grabbing the back of your head and slamming his shoulders, shoulder into your chin.

[2168] Like, that's semi -legit.

[2169] Like, I would not recommend doing it that way.

[2170] Ooh, look at the rock.

[2171] Why laugh it?

[2172] Stut up after he got knocked down.

[2173] Some of the...

[2174] Yeah.

[2175] Oh, look at this.

[2176] That's Shane McMahon.

[2177] Vince's son.

[2178] I got to sell to the air.

[2179] Wait, to play that one again.

[2180] Boom.

[2181] Oh, that's hilarious.

[2182] That's a classic McMahon thing to oversell, like a stunner like that.

[2183] Like, Vince does it the best.

[2184] He convulsive.

[2185] and shakes afterwards.

[2186] You got to definitely have that, though, because you're giving the guy your back.

[2187] I don't recommend that at all, that move.

[2188] No. But he could probably do it to me. Yeah.

[2189] But that would hurt.

[2190] I'm telling you, it's not the best move in the world.

[2191] No. But it's not 100 % illegitimate.

[2192] There's Brock.

[2193] No, this is Shane McMahon.

[2194] This is actually a really insane thing that this guy did.

[2195] How old is he, Tony, do you know?

[2196] Shane right now is probably, if I had to guess, I'd say, 47.

[2197] No, he's not jumping off that.

[2198] Yeah, he's about 30 feet, 35 feet up at least probably.

[2199] I don't know if they actually say, but...

[2200] Yeah, the fuck out of it.

[2201] Shane McMahon always does this.

[2202] He is like real...

[2203] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

[2204] On to a table.

[2205] Come on.

[2206] A real table?

[2207] The Undertaker's about to move.

[2208] Either way, it's not a pad.

[2209] The Undertaker's like, don't do it, dude.

[2210] I'm not going to show it on YouTube.

[2211] Oh, I see.

[2212] Yeah, don't show it on YouTube.

[2213] So he lands on that thing.

[2214] So it's a giant spring underneath him.

[2215] No. What is that thing?

[2216] It's just a breakaway table.

[2217] Oh, my God.

[2218] That's insane that he did that.

[2219] We all thought he was pretty messed up here.

[2220] Oh, my God.

[2221] That's insane.

[2222] Why did he do that?

[2223] It's all for the show.

[2224] Oh, my God.

[2225] That guy had to get really hurt.

[2226] Did he get knocked out?

[2227] He might be.

[2228] He might be coming out of it.

[2229] That's one of the crazy things.

[2230] You never know what's real and what's not.

[2231] Oh, my God.

[2232] Mankind did that.

[2233] Mick Foley, the guy who does the mandible claw, he did that to the Undertaker once he had a tooth go through his lip.

[2234] Let me ask you this, when someone does something like that, like did they plan that out to the point where they practice it or they just wait to the moment and then do it?

[2235] Because that seems like if you practice it and it hurt that bad.

[2236] I think they might practice it maybe with some type of something but I don't think they practice it with a breakaway table.

[2237] Oh my God, these guys are fighting on top of the roof.

[2238] Yeah, this is like the craziest one ever.

[2239] This is hell in a Cell, 1998, Mankind versus the Undertaker.

[2240] This is crazy.

[2241] Undertaker ends up chokeslamming him through the whole thing into the ring from the top of there.

[2242] Do you think you know more about pro wrestling than I know about boxing?

[2243] Well, it's a wide field.

[2244] I think there's more in wrestling history.

[2245] You've got to realize wrestling's been a weekly sport, the most watch program on cable every Monday, since I was a little kid.

[2246] So there's a lot more stuff that's happened in pro wrestling.

[2247] Right.

[2248] But you know results, right?

[2249] Yeah.

[2250] Like if I told you, I mean, do you know any results from boxing?

[2251] Yeah.

[2252] A little bit.

[2253] Yeah.

[2254] You know way more about this than you know about boxing, right?

[2255] Yeah.

[2256] Yeah.

[2257] Do you find that weird?

[2258] No, I'm a pretty big boxing fan.

[2259] I probably have more enough.

[2260] Oh, he threw him off the top?

[2261] Yeah, there you go.

[2262] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[2263] Yeah.

[2264] Where does he throw him on to?

[2265] And by the way, that's the first time anything like this ever happened.

[2266] So that crowd is literally like, what?

[2267] Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

[2268] Oh, that guy got.

[2269] got fucked up, dude.

[2270] Like, he got fucked up for real.

[2271] I don't think you can fall that far and not get fucked up unless you're falling into a giant pillow.

[2272] These guys aren't falling.

[2273] Oh, my God.

[2274] No, Mick Foley has, like, broken every bone and, like, every injury you can imagine.

[2275] Oh, my God.

[2276] You see that?

[2277] See him just do a backflip and land right there?

[2278] Fuck that, dude.

[2279] Oh, water's good.

[2280] So that's a good move.

[2281] So they're doing it like that ninja show.

[2282] That's not a bad.

[2283] That's obviously It was on boxes Yeah Obviously that's Protected That's so funny The whole dramatic thing The girls are going Oh my God Oh my God And the guy's there Uh macho Yeah Oh there's the He just felt through The fucking cage Oh he fell through This gauge Oh my god Is that supposed to happen Was that an accident?

[2284] I don't know That may be What's supposed to happen Look The way he fell into the center I bet it was supposed to happen You can see how the center Sort of gave in Now how would they engineer something like that how will they make sure that they're okay like this is like a combination oh my god that guy just broke his leg did he i think so oh don't show me this don't show me this can't see can't watch somebody breaking their leg for a play it's essentially a play oh shit imagine there's a play where you break your leg i mean remember people were criticizing spider man they had a spider man musical people kept flying off the harnesses and slamming into the crowd or something I think somebody might have died.

[2285] Severe injury, at the very least.

[2286] What happened during the Spider -Man musical?

[2287] I think they got it wired, though.

[2288] I think they figured it out.

[2289] Oh, don't show it to me, bro.

[2290] Yes, please show it.

[2291] I don't want to see the guy.

[2292] Oh, fuck.

[2293] Oh, fuck.

[2294] The thing snapped.

[2295] I think his rope didn't work.

[2296] Oh, my God.

[2297] Jesus Christ.

[2298] Wow.

[2299] Oh, my God.

[2300] It's going to have to...

[2301] Did he die?

[2302] Oh, that's accident.

[2303] Spider -Man doesn't die.

[2304] I want to say that there's more than one act.

[2305] Yeah, I thought it kept happening.

[2306] That's why they had to stop.

[2307] Yeah.

[2308] I want to say there was a second accident, but I might have been making this up.

[2309] This video I just pulled up here is the fourth accident on that show.

[2310] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[2311] Good Lord.

[2312] Right.

[2313] Now, stop and think about how many accidents they have in the pro wrestling world all the time.

[2314] Yeah, arenas every week.

[2315] Multiple arenas per week sold out.

[2316] Yeah, and how many of those things must go wrong in those arenas?

[2317] People have died.

[2318] Yeah.

[2319] Yeah.

[2320] Owen Hart?

[2321] Fuck.

[2322] You know about Owen Hart, right?

[2323] Yeah.

[2324] On the entrance.

[2325] Yeah.

[2326] A character, he didn't even want to play.

[2327] Dude.

[2328] Hard way to make a living.

[2329] Yeah.

[2330] All right, Tony.

[2331] Let's wrap this bitch up and head down to Bakersfield.

[2332] Okay.

[2333] Halla, Bakersfield, tonight.

[2334] Where are we?

[2335] Fox Theater?

[2336] Yeah, I don't know.

[2337] Two shows tonight, Bakersfield.

[2338] Two shows tomorrow in Fresno.

[2339] And then Santa Barbara on Saturday night.

[2340] Yeah.

[2341] Woo!

[2342] I was hoping you were going to join in.

[2343] to Rick Flair.

[2344] Oh, I didn't realize that's what we were doing.

[2345] Bye, everybody.