My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark XX
[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hello.
[2] And welcome to my favorite murder.
[3] It's the minisode.
[4] Where we read you your stuff.
[5] Don't you love it?
[6] We do.
[7] It's so easy.
[8] It's so easy.
[9] Should I kick this one off?
[10] Do it, Karen.
[11] Hello, everyone.
[12] This first email I'm going to read to you, the subject line is, my dad's seven degrees of murder separation.
[13] Yeah.
[14] Hi, I'm FM, fam.
[15] That's what the kids say these days, fam.
[16] Pham.
[17] Yeah.
[18] It means family.
[19] Oh, great.
[20] Let's just dive in.
[21] That's what it says in this email.
[22] That's not me. I want to talk about other bullshit forever.
[23] Yeah, me too.
[24] But this person wants to dive in.
[25] My dad was helping me move out of yet another terrible mid -20s apartment a few weeks.
[26] Can we just take a moment?
[27] Oh, been there then again and then been there again and again.
[28] How about the first studio apartment you live in after you stop living with people?
[29] And you finally live in.
[30] That's when I got started getting cats.
[31] The best time of my life was in that little studio in Hollywood, fucking.
[32] Santa Monica and Western, the worst neighborhood.
[33] Oh, shit girl.
[34] Yeah, but it was the cutest apartment.
[35] Was it really?
[36] Yes.
[37] It was a hidden gem.
[38] It was one of those old brick ones that are super tall.
[39] Oh, yeah.
[40] It was like an old timey one.
[41] Oh, did you have brick on the inside of your apartment?
[42] Oh, that's rad.
[43] It's so cute.
[44] Mine was on Grace in off Coanga.
[45] And I really loved the apartment.
[46] I had friends that lived on the fourth floor, and I lived on the second floor.
[47] And I really love my apartment manager, Polly.
[48] What's up, Polly?
[49] Hi.
[50] He was the best.
[51] and I would always be late with my rent.
[52] And he was like, Karen, come on, come on.
[53] I'd be like, okay.
[54] And then one time after I stopped drinking, I lost a ton of weight because I wasn't drinking 12 beers every night.
[55] And he stopped me to say I was too thin and he was worried.
[56] And I was like, that's the most beautiful thing you could ever say to any woman.
[57] That's not true.
[58] Body positivity.
[59] Yes, yes.
[60] The ride was an hour each way and we ran out of things to talk about on the way back.
[61] Naturally, I brought up MFM and started sharing with him New Jersey stories from the podcast.
[62] since that's where we are from.
[63] Turns out this man is the seven degrees of separation from many high and low profile New Jersey, New York stories.
[64] He told me how him and his friends broke into, quote, that asshole John List, end quote ,'s house, and played floor hockey in the ballroom where List put his family's bodies.
[65] Oh, my God.
[66] The mansion is only 15 minutes from where I grew up.
[67] He went on to say how my great, great, some relative, knew Charles Lindbergh and thought he killed his baby and tried to cover it up when one of his practical jokes went wrong.
[68] Apparently, Lindbergh had a fucked sense of humor.
[69] Shut the fuck up.
[70] Yes, this is alleged.
[71] I want to hear more.
[72] I know, right?
[73] My jaw dropped even further when he finally told me that he had once bought cocaine off a notorious club promoter and murderer Michael Allig.
[74] Oh, my God.
[75] When my dad used to DJ at the limelight in NYC.
[76] You're fucking...
[77] Who is this man?
[78] Who is this man?
[79] Oh, my God.
[80] How old is this man?
[81] How available is this man?
[82] My dad has worn nothing but freshly ironed dockers and a polo shirt all my life.
[83] And here he is telling me how he used to buy drugs from a murderer.
[84] Insane.
[85] Oh my God.
[86] He even told me how he witnessed a low -profile murder in my hometown and was called as a witness.
[87] The stories kept spilling out.
[88] Over Memorial Day weekend, I went to my family's house and my dad handed me a stack of super rad, vintage true crime novels.
[89] Dude.
[90] In the collection of books was his annotated copies about the Hillside Strangler, Bundy, Mind Hunter, and a bunch of other.
[91] I finally learned where my true crime obsession comes from.
[92] Side note, when I first went to college in NYC, my dad taught me to stand on the subway platform with my back up to the wall so no one could come up behind me. Pro tip.
[93] Which kinds of groups of people are threatening slash to be aware of when walking around late?
[94] That seems problematic.
[95] And how to pull a knife on someone quickly.
[96] Man, dads are great.
[97] Stay sexy and talk to your parents about murder.
[98] They might surprise you.
[99] Much love, B. my god amazing i i think it's so true parents are untapped sources they don't talk to their kids about stuff like that because it's you know weird yeah it's like it's scary well when you're if you're an adult if you have your apartment your parents will tell you about fucked up shit they know ask talk to your parents like adults and they'll talk to you like an adult too like ask them questions about their lives because you just don't do that as a kid that someone's child you don't ask them questions about their lives and then you find out all these interesting things that's right And you can actually say, um, I'm right now, I'm preparing your biography.
[100] Right.
[101] You will die soon.
[102] Yeah.
[103] Please tell me everything while you still have the chance.
[104] How's your arthritis?
[105] Do you need some bonieva?
[106] What did you do in high school?
[107] That was creepy.
[108] Back in the pioneer days.
[109] Um, I have a dad one too.
[110] Um, my dad worked for a kidnapping.
[111] I have a dad.
[112] That's what you were saying.
[113] Two.
[114] My dad worked for a kidnapping rapist.
[115] Oh.
[116] Hey, what's up?
[117] I used to be so jealous of all the murderinos who's relatives told them of their personal hometown murders until it finally happened to me. Hey.
[118] Last weekend, my dad and I were going out of town on a three -hour drive to visit my sick grandma when the unthinkable happened.
[119] My dad asked me to put on my, quote, murder cast I'm always listening to and telling him about.
[120] Nervously, I searched for the perfect debut episode to ease him in, and I finally decided to play my favorite episode, Weapon Bush, Episode 81.
[121] What the fuck?
[122] Why did we?
[123] I don't even know.
[124] Wept in Bush.
[125] We'll have to ask Stephen about it after.
[126] He doesn't know.
[127] He must know.
[128] He walks all of this out, as he should.
[129] Weapon Bush.
[130] Episode 81.
[131] When Georgia tells a satisfying story of how Dr. Jeffrey McDonald was caught for murdering his wife and two sweet baby angels.
[132] Yes.
[133] I cringed and tried to talk over the more gruesome details of Karen's Peter Curtin story, so my dad wouldn't freak out and change his mind in wanting to listen and bond with me over this, quote, taboo subject.
[134] We got through the episode and I decided to play a minisode.
[135] get some laughs in.
[136] In the middle of the minisode, my dad says to me, hey, something like that happened to me. I'm sorry, I'm doing Marty's voice.
[137] I love it.
[138] It's perfect.
[139] I couldn't believe it.
[140] It was finally happening to me. I paused the podcast and tried not to seem too eager.
[141] My dad tells me about this one, horrible supervisor he had in the 80s when he landed a job as an assembly line worker, question mark.
[142] Who cares?
[143] She says.
[144] He said he hated a supervisor because he never did any work unless the big bosses came around and was rude.
[145] to everyone he came into contact with.
[146] My dad left the factory question mark to serve in the Air Force.
[147] And when he came back, his mom, my grandma, asked him, did you ever work with George?
[148] My dad rolled his eyes and said yes.
[149] Then my grandma proceeds to tell my dad that he was arrested for kidnapping and rape.
[150] Oh, she writes, so this fucking guy kidnapped a young girl from his neighborhood, tied her up in his home, and would rape her repeatedly every day.
[151] Oh, sorry.
[152] When the parents held a search party to look for her, all caps, this fucking guy would be looking for her alongside the rest of his neighbors.
[153] Yeah.
[154] After a few weeks of being held captive, the girl managed to get away and tell authorities everything.
[155] Bad ass.
[156] Yes, she wrote.
[157] After the first few episodes ended, my dad turned to me and said, wow, so do they have an episode about Jean Bonnet?
[158] Yes, we do, sir.
[159] We absolutely do.
[160] I'm sorry, this is such a long email.
[161] I just had to share the success.
[162] exciting bonding moment between me and my dad.
[163] Thank you and SSDGM, Brittany.
[164] I love it, Brittany.
[165] Congratulations on finally cracking that case.
[166] That's right.
[167] That dad case.
[168] That's right.
[169] It's an exciting feeling.
[170] It is.
[171] It can happen to you too.
[172] I hate that band though.
[173] You too?
[174] That's stupid.
[175] It can happen to Bono and the edge.
[176] I'm not going to read the subject line of this.
[177] Hi everyone.
[178] First off, thanks for making our parentheses or tag teaming authoring this.
[179] We're day is so much more enjoyable.
[180] We're glad our co -workers don't know we actually listen to a murder podcast all day instead of music, but you definitely make the day more enjoyable.
[181] Second off, Confession.
[182] We are not the protagonists of the story, but it was way too good not to share with you.
[183] We live in Chicago, and this last winter was a very cold one.
[184] Near the end of January, the temperatures reached minus 27 degrees.
[185] With a wind chill, it felt like minus 50 degrees.
[186] But global warming is a hoax?
[187] Okay.
[188] Literally colder than Antarctica, Alaska, and the North Pole.
[189] Because of this, the entire city shut down and most companies let their employees work from home, which pretty much meant drinking Spike Tot Chocolate and watching movies.
[190] Hell yeah.
[191] God bless.
[192] Well, some of our friends also worked from home and during the day began hearing weird noises from their attic.
[193] This better not be a creepy pasta.
[194] But they said friends.
[195] Yeah.
[196] I believe them so far.
[197] We'll see.
[198] They believed it was just some animal trying to escape the cold temperatures.
[199] So to get proof for their landlord, they stuck a selfie stick into the attic opening to try to get a photo of the animal.
[200] When they brought the selfie stick back down and went to look at the photo, it turned out not to be an animal, but instead the photo revealed a man crouching down in the corner trying to avoid being captured on the phone.
[201] No!
[202] In all caps, ugh my worst nightmare.
[203] Turns out, this man had moved into our friend's apartment before they moved in when the unit was empty.
[204] Our friends moved in in September, so they had been unknown cohabitating with this man for five months.
[205] No, no, no, no. Five months.
[206] Turns out when they would go to work during the day, he would come down from the attic and live in their apartment.
[207] He used the shower, ate their food, and watched their TV.
[208] Who knows what else?
[209] Holy shit.
[210] The worst part was that the opening to the attic was in one of their rooms.
[211] Thank the Lord he wasn't a creepy sexual predator, and I'm so glad he never physically hurt them, but he definitely emotionally scared the bejesus out of them.
[212] Can you imagine looking at that?
[213] photo?
[214] That photo.
[215] Silently and then everyone turns and runs out the door.
[216] I mean, here's the thing.
[217] We're doubting that this could be a creepy pasta.
[218] This could be based on other stories.
[219] Who cares?
[220] Picks or it didn't happen.
[221] It seems like they have picks.
[222] Yeah.
[223] These are getable picks.
[224] Right.
[225] If Poss.
[226] Yes.
[227] Thanks for listening to this, Mary and Katie.
[228] Do you think they kicked him out or just started charging him rent?
[229] They're like, if you shower a couple more times a week, this is a fine situation.
[230] Like, we're not going to make you pay like part, like half of it because you're only staying in the crawl space.
[231] Yeah, you just have to crouch up there.
[232] Like, give him like a quarter or like of the rent.
[233] Yeah.
[234] Right?
[235] Sure.
[236] Why not?
[237] If he's not, I mean, if it's been that long and he hasn't done anything creepy to them, he's a good, pretty fucking good roommate.
[238] How about you built some fucking stairs?
[239] Yeah.
[240] Mary and Katie's friends.
[241] We've all had bad roommates.
[242] That sounds like a great roommate.
[243] Yeah, exactly.
[244] He waits till you're gone, lets you have your life.
[245] Does he do the dishes he must have?
[246] Or they would have noticed.
[247] That's a good point.
[248] That's an amazing point because we, I was in a standoff one time when I lived in Sacramento in the haunted house.
[249] we would not do the dishes and we all blamed each other like you're the one that never does it and the kitchen sink was just filled with dishes all the time did I ever tell you about the time I had a similar roommate situation and we were out of paper towels and I was like hey we've all bought paper towels it's your turn to buy paper towels and she goes I don't really use paper towels and then she leaves me a note about borrowing something of mine in my bathroom on a paper towel as it was she was too stupid for it to be on purpose yeah because it would have been fucking pretty great how great is that okay this is from my friend brook van poplin so she says hey gang i sent this to georgia over two years ago when you still read about hometown murders and i'm so thrilled that after many excellent stories about things found in walls first responder stories and i think even sinkholes you've returned to good old -fashioned murder stories from where you grew up and this is that this is my hometown murder story from the the Detroit suburbs where my dad was a cop and I was more than likely blasting Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation cassette from my boombox and roller skating in my basement.
[250] There are some conflicting details and stories, but this is the most reported version I found.
[251] It was November 1989 when two teenagers, Joseph Pisano, 17, and Bruce Michaels, 16, went on an armed robbery spree that claimed the lives of Rochester, Michigan residents Glenn and Wanda Tar.
[252] The teens chose their victims at random, which is an extra layer of scary bullshit.
[253] After finishing different, Her 58 -year -old Wanda Tar, a life insurance agent, went to meet with a client, and before doing so, stopped to withdraw money from an ATM where Bruce and Joseph had been lurking around waiting for a victim.
[254] They followed her into a quiet neighborhood she was heading into and cut her off and held her at gunpoint.
[255] She was only three miles from her home.
[256] They forcibly robbed her for a sum total of $15 and then kidnapped her.
[257] The monsters drove her into a park in Pontiac, which is a neighboring city to Rochester Hills, and fatally shot her in the head and just dumped her body there.
[258] They neatly stacked her insurance forms next to her body.
[259] What sucks about Pontiac in that era is the sound of gunshots was nothing to rouse attention or suspicion.
[260] Then, using Wanda's ID, this is the fucking worst, Joseph and Bruce figured out how to navigate back to the Tarr's residence where they broke into the house and told 53 -year -old Glenn Tarr that they'd abducted his wife.
[261] Glenn, a GM Chevrolet executive, was tied up while they ransacked the house for jewelry and electronics.
[262] Then, kidnapping Glenn, they shoved him into the trunk of a car and stole the other two cars, a Chevy Cavalier and a GeoPrisom.
[263] Oh, what a great car, the Geoprism.
[264] Why don't those exist anymore?
[265] Because they're being used as gift boxes for a lot of things.
[266] Good.
[267] The two then drove Glenn to two other ATM machines in the area, but apparently failed to get money out of them, says one source.
[268] But another source says they got $500 total, plus the $15.
[269] they took from Wanda.
[270] So a 5 .15 total.
[271] Maybe just 15.
[272] Oh, source -wise, yeah.
[273] Yeah, got it.
[274] The assailants drove Glenn, oh, this is so awful, back to the exact place in the park where they had shot and killed Wanda, who was lying there murdered in front of Glenn when they shot him six times and dumped him next to his wife's body.
[275] So they made him look at his dead wife before they killed him.
[276] That's fucking the definition of evil.
[277] Remember how he asked for hometowns?
[278] We've changed our mind.
[279] Right?
[280] Several hours later.
[281] at 5 a .m. A neighbor called the police noting that the Tars house looks suspicious.
[282] The garage was open and empty but the lights on which is not typical.
[283] Later that morning a woman walking her dog in Pontiac Park found the Tars lifeless bodies.
[284] A search for the killers and stolen cars ensued and while my dad was on patrol he actually found one of the cars belonging to the Tars abandoned on the outskirts of Rochester in a really rural part of town on a dirt road normally reserved for teenage underage, beard drinking and shenanigans.
[285] And then she writes guilty.
[286] I asked my dad if he remembered if he found the prism or the cavalier and he said he honestly couldn't remember.
[287] Being from Motor City this is inexcusable to me, but whatever.
[288] True.
[289] As for the killers, they were clearly young and dumb and after robbing and killing the Tars, these two psychopaths went to a dance club and bragged about what they had done.
[290] They were sloppy in every respect and picked up by police quickly.
[291] The violence and senselessness of their acts really rocked the community and the two received maximum sentences of life without parole.
[292] Even spookier, turns out our good family friend was at a McDonald's near the Tar's house on the night they were murdered.
[293] She was with her two, her young boys eating inside when two creepy teens came into the golden arches and they eyeballed her and her kids in a way that made her feel incredibly threatened.
[294] It was Joseph and Bruce, as she found out a few days later when their mugshots appeared in the news.
[295] Wow.
[296] After being arrested, she went cold when she recognized them instantly.
[297] The way the murder timeline works out is that the murderers stop into Mickey D's after killing Wanda.
[298] But before killing Glenn.
[299] Whether it was before they had abducted Glenn and put him in, basically, it could have been while he was in the trunk outside or not.
[300] They're not sure of the timeline and she fucking saw them in McDonald's and was creeped out by them.
[301] They're eating food.
[302] Yeah.
[303] They're getting a snack between murders.
[304] The Tars have five children, one of which has spoke out that his faith has given him the ability to finally forgive the teenage killers after all these years.
[305] Scary fucking stuff.
[306] Thank you for the many hours of twisted companions.
[307] mixed with advocacy for victims, mental health awareness, and tough talk about how we women are a force when we come together for good.
[308] Love you both and stay sexy and try not to be the victim on absolute bullshit.
[309] You have no control over.
[310] Yeah.
[311] From Burke Van Poplin.
[312] And she has a podcast that's a bunch of friends of mine called Sidework.
[313] About waitressing?
[314] About waitressing and waiting tables and they interview.
[315] Restaurant stuff.
[316] That's great.
[317] God, that's so...
[318] Here's the thing.
[319] It's like, how did they find each other, those two teens?
[320] And how did they, it's like, they, how did they both realize?
[321] I want to know the dynamic between the two of them.
[322] Yeah.
[323] It's like the DC sniper where you're like, this isn't common.
[324] How are the two of you together on this?
[325] You're both perfectly okay doing this.
[326] Like the Columbine shooters.
[327] It's just like you're both, yep, and moving forward without the fucking second thought.
[328] Right.
[329] It's insane.
[330] And there's so many chances to stop to go, oh my God, that just happened.
[331] And that's the worst thing of all time I'm running or something and it doesn't.
[332] It's just, it's just so creepy.
[333] It just escalates.
[334] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[335] Absolutely.
[336] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[337] Exactly.
[338] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[339] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[340] That's right.
[341] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere.
[342] Online, in -store, on social media, and beyond.
[343] Give your point -of -sale system a serious.
[344] upgrade with Shopify.
[345] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[346] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[347] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[348] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[349] Connect with customers in line and online.
[350] Do retail right with Shopify.
[351] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[352] important note that promo code is all lowercase go to shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today that's shopify .com slash murder goodbye here's my last one and we'll fold McDonald's back into it because we did ask for drive -through stories remember yeah this is weird there's a we I got a couple good ones good ones but this this one I love hi Karen georgian sweet furry angels no have I got a creepy fast food story for you okay so when I was 16 I'd just got hired at McDonald's in the car on the way to my first shift my mom my mom Canadian my mom says to me did I ever tell you about the CIA agent in the drive -thru?
[353] I said no and she proceeded to tell me the story of when my uncle worked at a Burger King drive -thru in the town of Surrey British Columbia FYI I asked my uncle to fill in some of the blanks in the story when I knew I was going to write you great um fact checking right we should try it sometime this is this is basic true crime reporting and you've done it great who what when where how that's it it was sometime in the late 80s and my uncle was working at the front counter when a woman pulled up to the drive through and handed the girl at the window a note that said call this number and tell them i'm being followed the lady sped off and the girl opened the note which said something like i work for the CIA and i'm being followed call this number since this is canada the manager called the good old rcmp to have them investigate soon the small town burger king small town burger king was sworn with cop cars and RCMP officers who are all deciding whether or not to call the number themselves or forget about it since the lady was probably just a crazy person.
[354] Well, they end up calling the number and it turns out to be a all -caps, direct line to the CIA or the Secret Service.
[355] Oh my God.
[356] And then in parentheses, my mom and uncle can't decide which one.
[357] But I think isn't Secret Service just for protection of like the president and stuff?
[358] I think no matter what my answer is, I don't know.
[359] We'll be wrong.
[360] Yeah, you're right.
[361] I'm guessing CIA.
[362] Okay.
[363] The officers gave the Americans on the other end all the information that they asked for and interviewed everyone working that day, including my uncle, who says it was one of the most thrilling days of his career.
[364] Looking back on it now, he says that the lady who came through the drive -thru was probably just some disturbed woman who happened to have the direct line to an American intelligence agency, but I guess we'll never know.
[365] No way.
[366] Hey, guess what, uncle.
[367] It was your experience and it's your life, but you're fucking wrong.
[368] Yeah.
[369] That's crazy.
[370] You guys, yeah.
[371] You don't understand how hard it is to get the phone number to the CIA because you're Canadian.
[372] That's right.
[373] That's like being able to call Dudley Do Right.
[374] Yeah.
[375] No, it was totally a CIA.
[376] That's a cartoon Canadian bounty.
[377] I'm being insulting to everybody.
[378] Thank you for making my commutes to school so much more interesting.
[379] And also your book is the best birthday present I've ever received.
[380] Stay sexy and don't give crazy people a direct number to the CIA.
[381] She wasn't crazy.
[382] God damn it.
[383] She could have been crazy, but she was also CIA.
[384] And she was absolutely a CIA agent.
[385] And maybe crazy, but that's okay.
[386] You go deep cover because you don't look like a CIA agent.
[387] You don't have slick back hair.
[388] It's not some men and black thing.
[389] What a smart thing to do to hand it to the fucking, like, you're handing money.
[390] I'm like, that's so CIA.
[391] Yes.
[392] It's straight out of the CIA 101.
[393] And she called the number of the CIA.
[394] Yeah.
[395] What do you mean?
[396] It was in a pizza place next door.
[397] And I love that she fucking bombed her by getting the RCMP to fucking show up instead.
[398] So whoever was following her was like, oh, that was absolutely her and them.
[399] And anyway, stay sexy and don't give creative.
[400] Oh, I already said that.
[401] Sorry.
[402] The only thing I didn't say is the signature, which is just the letter A. Oh, she's in the CIA, probably.
[403] That's some CIA shit right there.
[404] That's some identity hiding, mother fucking, oh, shit.
[405] Okay.
[406] This one's way less murdery than my other two of them.
[407] Okay.
[408] This is called The Marshmallow incident, lighthearted.
[409] Hello, long time listener, first time emailer.
[410] I'm the youngest of four children.
[411] We're all very close in age and a pretty physical bunch.
[412] So there are plenty of stories from my child.
[413] childhood that ended in the emergency room that I could tell you about, but one of the more infamous stories took place when I was only about a year old.
[414] I know the details because it has been told to me about a thousand times.
[415] My whole family was roasting marshmallows and paling around in the front yard one summer evening.
[416] At the time, my brother, Micah, was three and my sister Naomi was four.
[417] Micah wanted to play with one of those plastic yellow wiffle ball bats.
[418] You know the kind everyone had growing up.
[419] Yep.
[420] Yep.
[421] His little toddler arms couldn't handle holding the metal skewer with his marshmallow and the bat.
[422] at the same time.
[423] So he put the poignant of the skewer in his mouth to free up his arms.
[424] No. Wait, sorry, how old three?
[425] Three.
[426] Oh, no. And started reaching for the bat.
[427] Baby kebab.
[428] My sister was riding around on her tricycle, unlike any bratty older sister, decided that she wanted a yellow bat when she noticed Micah going for it.
[429] So she rode over and tried to yank it away before he could grab it.
[430] In the process, the bat bumped into the skewer in his mouth and pushed it all the way back into his throat so far that it actually poked through the fleshy skin under his ear oh no i there Stephen's barking that's not okay it happened that's this isn't creepy pasta i forget that your ears are basically connected to your mouth tender bits ear nose throat doctor please know tender bits tender three -year -old bits oh just like chicken cutlets cut up and skewered for a delicious summertime treat.
[431] That's right.
[432] My parents who were presumably busy pouring themselves another glass of wine while all this went down immediately jumped into action threw Micah into the pickup truck and my dad started speeding him to the closest ER.
[433] My dad was too afraid to remove the skewer himself.
[434] Good, good, never remove skewers.
[435] But Little Micah was like, I don't like this and I want it gone and he yanked the skewer out while my dad was driving.
[436] At the ER, the doctors explained that the skewer had missed his career.
[437] rotted artery, the one that supplies all the blood to your brain by less than a centimeter.
[438] If it had been punctured, he probably would have died.
[439] If my brother hadn't just pulled the skewer out himself, it would have been an extremely risky surgery to have removed it.
[440] What?
[441] Yeah.
[442] But the lady luck was on our side and Micah was sent home half an hour later with a band -aid and a sticker.
[443] To this day, metal skewers are strictly forbidden from our house.
[444] We can only roast marshmals with very thin and flimsy sticks we find in the yard.
[445] and Naomi still gets teased for almost killing our brother over a baseball bat.
[446] Thank you for keeping me entertained during long commutes and boring days at grad school, SSDGM, Hannah.
[447] Holy shit, Hannah.
[448] That's like, that's why people believe in the Lord or a God of some kind.
[449] Right, right.
[450] Because that's crazy.
[451] It's a miracle it didn't kill him on the way in, and then a three -year -old performed his own throat surgery and lived.
[452] I would like to congratulate Hannah for eliciting the weirdest noises I've ever.
[453] ever heard Stephen making my fucking life.
[454] Stephen, what was that?
[455] So sorry.
[456] It gets worse every time.
[457] It was the flag.
[458] Yes.
[459] And then there was, I think, like, falling off the balcony or something.
[460] It's just more horrifying.
[461] Are you gagging?
[462] I think I just uttered, yeah.
[463] I think it just sounds like horror.
[464] Yeah, you almost like.
[465] Like, yeah, I was like feeling it in my.
[466] Yeah.
[467] It's happening to you.
[468] That's how amazing Hannah storytelling.
[469] Hannah, great job.
[470] You nailed up.
[471] Send us your fucked up, not fucked up.
[472] fucked around fucked with stories all of it all of them don't send us fucking stories no fucking that's not this podcast that's not what we're about that's not what we do you know that about us stop it uh and uh stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye good boy Elvis you want cookie