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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Oh, welcome.
[17] Welcome to my favorite murder, the minisode.
[18] You know what this is.
[19] it's a smaller episode than the largest ode yeah and we tell you your stories instead of our stories it's very clear i don't know how you why you guys can't wrap your heads around every time we have to explain us to you uh so we're let's just do it let's just read them their stories okay and not fuck around anymore you know what i'm sick of fucking around i'm tired of talking yeah i'm tired of listening yes i i want to read What else do?
[20] Yes.
[21] What else is there?
[22] What else is there?
[23] Reading emails on a podcast.
[24] My first email subject line is 12 -year -old first responder and murder witness.
[25] Perfect.
[26] I love it.
[27] Why do we even bother talking?
[28] Why do we just read these?
[29] We wasted time even saying what this was.
[30] Totally.
[31] Got it.
[32] My hometown murder story is also a first responder story with 12 -year -old me and my mom is the first responders.
[33] Perfect.
[34] Okay, so we're not talking about civically appointed first responders in this scenario.
[35] I don't think.
[36] They, they responded to a situation first.
[37] It sounded like, because they had no choice.
[38] Yeah.
[39] Hence first responders.
[40] Hence, we need to start using that word more.
[41] Hence.
[42] Hence.
[43] Hence.
[44] Okay.
[45] This took place in southeast Portland in the mid -90s when I was 12 years old.
[46] I woke up very early one morning before the sun was up because I heard someone yelling outside.
[47] Not good.
[48] It was a woman's voice and she was a woman's voice and she a scream, help me, there's a fire help.
[49] I look out my window and notice our street is full of smoke and I see a lady pacing up the front house, pacing in front of the house that was directly across the street from me. I quickly go downstairs to find my mom awake doing her daily crossword puzzle.
[50] Hell yes.
[51] She was a nurse.
[52] Again, hell yes.
[53] So it wasn't strange for her to be up at odd hours.
[54] I tell her, there's a woman outside yelling about a fire and the street is full of smoke.
[55] We immediately run outside together, me trailing behind my superhero nurse mom.
[56] She approaches the lady, says she's a nurse, and the lady is pointing at the house saying her family is inside.
[57] My mom tells me to run back inside our house and get the phone.
[58] I get her the phone and she calls 911 to tell them there's a house on fire with people inside.
[59] Oh my God, oh my God.
[60] While we're waiting for the firefighters to arrive, my mom goes into nurse mode.
[61] She tells me to run into our house and grab a blanket.
[62] Later, she tells me it was because she was afraid the woman was going into shock.
[63] I bring my favorite bet I bring out my favorite teddy bear blanket and my mom gets the woman to sit on the curb and is trying to keep her calm and assess what she can before we know what the fire trucks arrive and with a few ambulances not far behind.
[64] We watch from across the street as they pull out two people on structures.
[65] Everyone is whisked away via ambulance and the firefighters put out the flames.
[66] We find out later that the two people inside the house were the woman's mother and sister and very sadly they both.
[67] died from smoke inhalation the woman was mentally ill and had started the fire on a more lighthearted note which could literally be anything right now on a more lighthearted note it could just rewritten the phrase on a more lighthearted yeah i just got to be on the news oh oh no sorry on a more lighthearted note i got to be on the news and my mom let me take credit for calling 911 oh my god for her saving a life was just another day at the office but for 12 year old me holy shit i got to be famous for a day this experience and having nurse for a mom is what inspired me to become a nurse myself well done she showed me time and again it's not our place to judge others but to help others very happy to say i'll be starting nursing school next fall SSGM um amy future future super nurse oh p s i never got my teddy bear blanket back them kind of miffed that I gave it to a murderer.
[68] Oh my God.
[69] She wasn't explicitly saying that the woman was a murderer up above.
[70] It was still kind of a sensitive area.
[71] And she busted it out when she talked about the blanket.
[72] Well, if you're talking about your fucking blanket, your favorite blanket.
[73] Understood.
[74] And also just like 12 -year -olds just know that going forward.
[75] Yeah.
[76] If an emergency situation kicks in, hide the stuff you like.
[77] Never give your favorite things to anyone.
[78] No. Horde your favorites.
[79] Say, here's this blanket.
[80] I don't like that much.
[81] Yeah.
[82] Or here's my sister's favorite blanket.
[83] She loves it.
[84] She can't sleep a wink without it.
[85] Take it.
[86] We don't need a back.
[87] We don't need a back.
[88] Right.
[89] I don't want it back.
[90] No, it's yours now.
[91] You know what?
[92] Throw on the fire when you're done with it.
[93] You touched it.
[94] You bought it.
[95] Bye.
[96] Goodbye.
[97] Okay.
[98] This is called our Tampa.
[99] Uber driver drove the serial killer.
[100] Whoa.
[101] Hello, ladies and company.
[102] My sister and I...
[103] My favorite musical.
[104] Hey.
[105] My sister and I saw the live show in Tampa last night.
[106] We were way up in the nose fleets, but still had an amazing time.
[107] We wanted to write to tell you about our Uber ride over to the theater.
[108] We were chatting with our driver and told him we were headed where we were headed and explain what the podcast was all about.
[109] That's sometimes a mistake to try to tell people.
[110] Yeah.
[111] But hey, thanks for the grassroots attempt.
[112] I mean, yeah.
[113] Yeah, spread the word.
[114] Yes, I don't mean, yeah.
[115] When we asked him if he was a fan of tree crime, especially since Tampa currently has its own serial killer, he then proceeded to tell us that he's pretty sure he picked up the serial killer a few weeks ago.
[116] Wow.
[117] The day after the last murder happened.
[118] He said he picked up a man a mile from where all the murders have taken place, and it started off as a normal ride.
[119] The guy was nice and chatty and happened to bring up the murders himself.
[120] The Uber driver then joking, asked the dude, you're not the serial killer, are you?
[121] And he said after that, the passengers, the passenger's entire demeanor slash mood changed.
[122] He became quiet and stoic and the driver dropped him off at his destination.
[123] As more details came out in the news about the suspect, the Uber driver realized the passenger matched the description perfectly and own a flip phone, which is another potential clue that police have released.
[124] The passenger said his sister had called him the Uber because he had a flip phone.
[125] Right.
[126] oh my god the uber driver also mentioned the guy worked at poppies therefore when they solved this case and figure out that the guy worked at poppies you heard it here first yes stay sexy and don't eat at poppies in tampa the cooney sisters p s we asked the uber driver if he told the police this and he said he had called the tip line and gave them his information call that tip line again call it again how many tip line stories have we told where it's like then they took my information right four years later called me back they were getting thousands and thousands of tips and it turns out this whole time murderino has the best tip I love that so much the right tip flip flown Popeyes what right those are the two pieces of it you just said it I didn't understand what the first word he said was oh sorry flip flown was I burping was I burping a lot I think so flipflown Poppe what is it pomm um that's the I love that that's the checkpoint we'll know whether or not they were right yes I like it when people's mode changes and it's like a temperature change you know i see that very often you only read like hear it in books of like and then you're like that doesn't really happen does it it does happen yes when the people are a certain kind of it's almost like when a like a did he say that that he had picked the guy up after one of the murders happened he said uh didda da da da da da just outside the area yeah then he did they picked up okay after the picked uh the day after the last murder happened.
[127] Oh, okay.
[128] So maybe he was spending the night at his sister's house who called the fucking Uber for him because he has a flip phone.
[129] Yeah.
[130] Spent the night of her house.
[131] He's like, I got away with it again.
[132] Which means a sister fucking knows something and doesn't know if she should call the cops or not.
[133] Maybe.
[134] Ooh.
[135] Sister's like, no way.
[136] Jeremy would never do that.
[137] What if his name is Jeremy?
[138] And I'm right about that.
[139] Oh, my God.
[140] Could you, okay.
[141] Flip phone, flip phone?
[142] Flip phone?
[143] Pop eyes.
[144] Jeremy.
[145] Jeremy.
[146] Spoken class today.
[147] Okay, go.
[148] Okay, this is, the subject line is my bitch and sister and the ghost of Warwick Castle.
[149] Great.
[150] Sister is actually spelled C -ster, but I don't like to be forced into using an accent that I don't approve of first.
[151] Yeah.
[152] I have no questions.
[153] Thank you.
[154] I appreciate it.
[155] 100%.
[156] Your silence equals support and solidarity for me. That's right.
[157] Okay.
[158] October 4th.
[159] versus my sister parentheses are nickname for each other see she was trying to get i'm not your sister yeah i don't it's not my nickname yeah sorry it's late and i haven't had protein in a while um what her sister her sister's name is laura oh my god okay here i'll reread playing the game playing along hello mfm squad i forgot that part too okay hello mfm squad october first is my cister our nickname for each other laura's 30th birthday and because she recently lost her husband paul and your podcast is something they used to listen to together oh god i'm sorry oh that's fucking hard we take back all the cister stuff i don't um i wanted to tell you a story that features my cister and a british ghost sidebar nation my cister's husband also happen to be british god that's hard Honey.
[160] Man. Okay.
[161] When I was in college and my sister was in high school, my parents took us on a summer trip that included a stop in London.
[162] During this trip, we made a super touristy stop at Warwick Castle, which, like many other European castles, is full of suits or armor, is full of suits of armor, lavish furniture, and spooky haunts.
[163] We were taking a tour of the inside of the castle and had paused in the great hall when my mom noticed that my sister's neck had bright red splotches all over.
[164] for it.
[165] She asked my sister if she was okay and my sister said she had felt a chill and then extreme heat on her neck and throat.
[166] But she felt okay otherwise and the blotches disappeared as we walked so we didn't think anything more up there.
[167] Oh my God.
[168] Oh my God.
[169] At the end of the tour we made our way to the gift shop and we were casually looking around when my sister gasped.
[170] She had picked up a book about Warwick Castle and it opened right to the page that featured the Great Hall and the story of the ghosts that haunt that part of the castle.
[171] Turns out in the 1600s, Sir Folk Greville, I can only imagine I did not read that correctly.
[172] The owner of the castle during that period was murdered by his man -servant.
[173] This is the term continually used in the article, Ralph Haywood, who then turned the knife on himself, cutting his own throat.
[174] I just gasped and burped at the same time, and it was a really weird sensation.
[175] Maybe I am haunted.
[176] I thought you gas and then turned away in horror.
[177] No, I turned away at and belching.
[178] Okay.
[179] Supposedly his ghost still haunts that part of the castle.
[180] We were stunned.
[181] My sister had gotten blotches right across her throat in the exact room.
[182] Ralph and Sir Greville's ghosts are said to reside.
[183] Spooky.
[184] Thank you, ladies, so much for this podcast.
[185] It often soothes me during times of high anxiety and will forever be a memory of my cister's amazing husband paul s s sdgm paul and laura i love you both rachel oh so sweet that's nice of you rachel that's very sweet you're a good cister you are a good cister oh it's sad sorry laura we're we're thinking of you yeah we are um well this one is called fun so this is good this one's subject is fun just plain fun no fun all caps stepdad was the vet to the son of sam dog All right.
[186] Here we go.
[187] Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, an assorted menagerie.
[188] Yes.
[189] I'll make this short because, oh, wait, I'll make this short because being featured on in MFM would be amazing.
[190] Oh.
[191] That's a good way to do it.
[192] Those two things don't necessarily directly relate, but okay.
[193] They don't.
[194] Although, short and like good or long and good.
[195] Just good is the common denominator.
[196] yeah hence hence I'm going to read this hence I like using hence at the end of the sentence hence yeah like ties it all together yeah during and after the son of Sam murder spree my stepdad was a young veterinary school graduate in New York he worked in a vet clinic trying to pay off his student loans and avoid getting elbow deep in a sick cow upstate oh mm -hmm the clinic he worked out was also the clinic for the dog in your recent son of Sam episode.
[197] The dog that was supposedly a demon was this sweet, chunky Labrador named Harvey.
[198] Oh.
[199] And then she says, I'm not fat shaming.
[200] I'm pretty food motivated too.
[201] Anyway, the way my step...
[202] Motivated is...
[203] That is, yes.
[204] That's just a dog is food motivated.
[205] And it's me. It's just when you have your motivation.
[206] motivations in certain places.
[207] I love the idea, though, of a sweet, chunky Labrador named Harvey being Satan.
[208] Like, come on.
[209] He's looking up at that window being like, dude, you've got to be kidding me. He's like, bacon.
[210] You know this isn't me. He's looking after just going, bacon.
[211] Do you have bacon?
[212] Do you have bacon?
[213] Well, then don't involve me in your bullshit.
[214] Right.
[215] That's all I want to know.
[216] Yeah.
[217] Okay.
[218] Anyway, the way my stepdad tells of the story is that late at night when he had to stick around for charting and cleaning, he was once a one, he was once a little.
[219] with this dog in an empty clinic once he made sure he was alone he asked the dog straight out whether he was the devil the dog said no but the cat is a real asshole he likes to get a big laugh out of it as you know berkowitz admitted that he was making up all that for the insanity plea but that is one of my quote hometown murders anyway thank you for all your hard work and for the laughs you always remind me S -S -CGM love Caitlin.
[220] Oh, my God, that's so funny.
[221] That's such a stepdad joke.
[222] No, but the cat is a real asshole.
[223] It's such a dad joke.
[224] It's such a dad joke.
[225] That's so hilarious.
[226] But also, like, just that you would have to wait till everyone left.
[227] You would have to wait until everyone left.
[228] You would have to wait until you were alone in the whole clinic so that no one thought you were the insane one.
[229] I wonder if everyone was kind of sketched up by that dog at that point.
[230] That poor dog was just like, they used to be so nice to me here.
[231] Yeah.
[232] Now I just get tied to a tree.
[233] And no bacon.
[234] Because I'm the devil.
[235] Oh, he's on the devil now.
[236] Harvey is the devil.
[237] It's real funny.
[238] Harvey.
[239] Oh, what happened to Harvey?
[240] Oh, he lived a good long life.
[241] He did.
[242] He got so much bacon.
[243] Oh, good boy.
[244] I actually bet his owners were way nicer to him after because they were like, oh, my God.
[245] Get away from our son, Harvey.
[246] Our son, Harvey.
[247] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[248] Absolutely.
[249] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[250] Exactly.
[251] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[252] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[253] That's right.
[254] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[255] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[256] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[257] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[258] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[259] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[260] Connect with customers in line and online.
[261] Do retail right with Shopify.
[262] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[263] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[264] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[265] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[266] Goodbye.
[267] Hey, this is exciting.
[268] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[269] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.
[270] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[271] Who killed Saz?
[272] And were they really after Charles?
[273] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[274] This season, murder hits close to home.
[275] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[276] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[277] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mystery.
[278] and twists arise.
[279] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[280] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[281] Only Martyrs in the building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[282] Goodbye.
[283] Is that it?
[284] Do you want to read another one?
[285] Are you good?
[286] I have one here.
[287] Okay, read to me. See, I'm going to trust you on this one.
[288] I don't like this subject line.
[289] What is it?
[290] But I was wrong about the.
[291] the other one so my dad accidentally helped kill someone question mark okay we'll see hi karen georgia stephen and all the wonderful pets you have let me yeah uh so my dad has always worked away at sea because he was a teenager in the north of england in the 70s and he gotten into a lot of trouble which is why he really wants to see me succeed in life oh god they're always trying to make you fucking fill their way that they that's right well yeah because you can't go back no uh He has many stories from people he's worked with, things he's found, et cetera.
[292] Oh, things he's found.
[293] Oh, shit.
[294] The shit found at sea.
[295] Did you see that viral picture of the couple that found a basketball floating in the ocean?
[296] And when they picked it up, there were all kinds of crazy long barnacles.
[297] So it had basically, it was this fully basketball with the air still in it that had been floating at sea for so long.
[298] It had full a long, like, pyramid of barnacles underneath it.
[299] a basketball doing at sea.
[300] It's just out there, someone threw it away.
[301] But it's such a good basketball that the air didn't go out of it.
[302] Wait, Stephen's going to find you the picture.
[303] Because it actually looks like art. Like, it's very cool.
[304] I love it.
[305] Anyhow, I like things that are found at sea.
[306] Tell me more.
[307] Oh, wait, I'm looking at it.
[308] What the fuck?
[309] That is beautiful.
[310] Isn't that the best?
[311] That's beautiful.
[312] There's a name for that kind of barnacle.
[313] Basketball?
[314] The basketball barnacle?
[315] The basket.
[316] Barna basketball?
[317] Yes, that's right.
[318] It's the basketball barnacle.
[319] And they hang out in the sea waiting for basketballs.
[320] They never come because who would do that?
[321] Holy shit.
[322] It's huge.
[323] Isn't that crazy?
[324] Yeah, that's the first one I saw.
[325] That's bananas.
[326] Anyhow, look it up.
[327] You'll thank me later.
[328] Okay.
[329] Blow, okay.
[330] So he told me this story recently and I freaked out because my dad could have been an accessory to murder.
[331] Smiley face.
[332] Okay.
[333] Smiley face made with.
[334] Hence.
[335] Yeah.
[336] Hence the name.
[337] My dad was working with his friend Ray and the two men worked, and two men they worked with, asked them for their tools.
[338] Frank Wilkinson and Edward Wood took my dad's tools and went away.
[339] In February, 1986, the body of Alan Raffel, 23, was found in Keelder Forest.
[340] His head had been literally smashed in with a hammer.
[341] He'd been missing for seven weeks.
[342] Five weeks later, Frank and Ed.
[343] were arrested and charged with the murder.
[344] After a 10 -day trial at Newcastle Crown Court, in parentheses, I've been there.
[345] Frank was found guilty, but Edward was acquitted.
[346] Frank was recently released after serving his sentence, which was 27 years.
[347] And he insists that he didn't kill Alan.
[348] The police said that if they had left Alan's body 20 meters further in the forest, they wouldn't have found him.
[349] my dad was questioned by police but was never charged with anything thank god another thing there was a school trip where i had went where we went to a forest and we got to sleep in cabins and roast marshmallows and stuff i got my dad to sign the consent letter but he seemed a little off about it and even eight -year -old me could sense it guess where we went keelder forest oh my god thank you if you read this sSDgm holly what the fuck wow do you think Mm, that's weird.
[350] Yeah.
[351] Hmm.
[352] I want to hear one about Ted Bundy's car?
[353] Hell yes.
[354] All right.
[355] Okay.
[356] Hey, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and chorus of furry pals.
[357] Okay.
[358] All right.
[359] We were talking about Jean -Beney at a party and ended up with a bunch of non -murrinos in that classic party huddle where everyone shares their hometown and favorite murders.
[360] Nice.
[361] Dream huddle.
[362] One of our friends is from Tallahassee, where Ted Bundy ended his murder coroner.
[363] career.
[364] When old Ted was ferried to and from the courthouse in those days, they would drive him there in a station wagon with a grill between the front seat and the back.
[365] For some reason, when the state sold the station wagon, our friend's dad, being an entrepreneurial sort, decided to buy the Bundymobile.
[366] Yes.
[367] So whenever his friends and his brother went anywhere as kids, they went in that station wagon, still with the bars between the front and back seats.
[368] Okay, sorry.
[369] The dad bought the station wagon but used it as the family car and left in the dog great serial killer great left in the serial killer you'll get choked to death if we didn't have this here great our friends even took turns our friend even took turns with his brother playing ted bundy yes as in oh who's going to be ted today said in a sweet southern twang oh my god a bit a bit that our friend doesn't know is this the reason that station wagon was sold off almost certainly because Bundy was executed in 1989.
[370] Yeah.
[371] SSDGM and don't put your kids in the Bundymobile, Talia in April.
[372] That's rad.
[373] I mean, it all has to go somewhere.
[374] It has to go somewhere and that somewhere is the fucking 80s.
[375] Because they're just like, no, no, we're going to buy that and leave it like that.
[376] It doesn't matter the worst serial killer.
[377] I just thought he was, the entrepreneurial spirit was that he was going to then sell it to some kind of place or museum or whatever it must have been like $10 it must have been he's just always looking for a bargain they're just like yeah no one wants to be in nobody the haunted station wagon I'll take it's hilarious I would drive it no I wouldn't would I would I I don't know um that was a that was a nice slew of letters right they're big large range in there good and short too I like that a lot of British a lot of Brits uh you can send yours to my favorite murder at Gmail and it doesn't have to be hometown it could be anything in between yeah we're getting real loosey -goosey with these I mean we just want a good story yeah as as anyone does yeah ghosts are fine whatever you know if you're going to make some audacious claim about a ghost or a haunted house we'd love to know the actual city you're talking about yeah I think that's always nice we can cross -check it a little so we're not just like straight up reading you know American literature Sure.
[378] We don't do that.
[379] I know.
[380] This isn't that.
[381] This isn't that at all.
[382] But, you know.
[383] Thank you.
[384] And hence, thank you for listening to my favorite murder.
[385] Yes.
[386] The minisode.
[387] Hence.
[388] And stay sexy.
[389] And don't get murdered.
[390] Bye.
[391] Elvis, you want a cookie?