#780 - Sturgill Simpson

[0] To...

[1] Yes!

[2] What's up?

[3] Sturgeal, motherfucking Simpson.

[4] Dude, you've been on a ride.

[5] This is the last time I talked to you?

[6] When was it?

[7] Well, last time I talked to you wasn't that long ago.

[8] But last time you've been in here...

[9] I'm hearing things kind of...

[10] Is it something wonky?

[11] It was booming almost.

[12] I feel like it...

[13] Is there something wrong with that?

[14] Something wrong with the headphones?

[15] Might be just me. That just changed?

[16] Yeah, it sounds better.

[17] Thank you.

[18] What did, Jamie?

[19] Put some fucking effects on that, bitch.

[20] He didn't touch anything.

[21] He's just asking him.

[22] He's a fed better.

[23] So, yeah, I mean, you're blowing the fuck up, dude.

[24] I have to get this out of the way before we even start talking.

[25] It's fascinating to watch.

[26] Why is that?

[27] Well, because, well, it's always fascinating to watch someone who you think is very talented, get it recognized.

[28] And I think you're very talented.

[29] So then, and then becoming friends with you, it's interesting, you know, to talk to you and to see what it's like and see.

[30] See me process it all in real time.

[31] Well, to see you.

[32] Probably has some interesting insight, I would imagine.

[33] Yeah, I guess so.

[34] For me, it was a slow one.

[35] It was a slow burn.

[36] It took a long time and a lot of different shows until it started getting really weird.

[37] It was pretty manageable.

[38] News Radio.

[39] How long were you out here before that happened?

[40] Oh, I came out here for a show right before that.

[41] I was out on another show called Hardball.

[42] There was this baseball show.

[43] So that was like maybe like six months before news radio.

[44] So it wasn't out here very long.

[45] I came out here specifically for that hardball show.

[46] And things just sort of opportunities turn into other things.

[47] Yeah, you know, it ebbs and flows and comes and goes.

[48] But the news radio fame was like non -existent.

[49] Like nobody ever recognized me ever will.

[50] But you're getting recognized now.

[51] Not too much, man. No?

[52] I mean, in specific towns where we do better, yeah, but it's most, you know, 99 % of time people are really cool.

[53] Yeah.

[54] Isn't that the fact?

[55] Yeah.

[56] That's really what's up, 99 % of the time.

[57] People are really cool.

[58] And even the 1 % are still cool.

[59] It's just it lasts a little too long.

[60] I don't know.

[61] It's the outliers, you know, the extreme cases that aren't, you know, the 1 % of the 1 % that could be issues.

[62] I mean, it's not even that.

[63] In the grand scheme of things, I don't feel like I've really blown up that big.

[64] You know what I mean?

[65] Like, it's, I feel like I've clawed my way to the beginning, as it were.

[66] That's a good way to look at it.

[67] But it's some, well, I mean, what's the beginning?

[68] What's the, you know, what's the top?

[69] I don't know.

[70] Exactly.

[71] What I do know is that there's a lot of people that, like, will text me. Dude, have you heard of Sturgle Simpson?

[72] Holy shit.

[73] You know?

[74] Even now?

[75] Yeah, even now.

[76] man it's although I guess transitionally it's been in the last couple years, three years but I've been doing this my whole life to various levels of thanklessness but yeah a lot of years in honky tonks and just dive bars where you were background noise and now that I'm older I think that's been the best part of it is I'm clear and focused enough and I have enough responsibilities in my life to where I'm not taking it for granted Does it make sense?

[77] A hundred percent.

[78] Trying to like really use it as the opportunity that it is to do something hopefully bigger than just myself.

[79] So.

[80] Well, being a famous singer, you know, you affect people in a singer and a songwriter.

[81] You affect people in a very strange way.

[82] You know, there's like an intense emotion that's connected to a song that, like, really moves you.

[83] you know there's this intense connection and so it's i think for someone like you like it's great that you've got all this life experience i think that helps so much man i think if you're a fucking justin bieber type character boy you're almost guaranteed to be fucked like that kind of scrutiny you do i don't how old was he when that all started he's a baby i mean i can i know who he is but i couldn't tell you a single song not a single one but yet i know who he is why is that well he's famous as fuck he's famous as fuck but yeah the poor guy you I mean I don't well yeah the poor guy nobody could nobody it's easy to judge and sit back and be like oh he's such a fuck up like the kid has a very rare and unique perspective on the life experience yeah look that kid is doing a splendid job a splendid he's fucking up just enough yeah he's fucking up a little bit but you know he's fine in comparison of what a normal person would be with that kind of insane breach like that just what it must be like for him to just try to go through a group of girls he just he gets attacked like like dogs they'll fight for him they'll claw at him what the fuck man he's only like 19 or something right is he 19 that's insane that's insane it's insane it's so hard to keep your shit together and to have a balanced perspective because his only perspective is one of fame.

[84] So you talking about the honky tonks and, you know, when you were here last time you talked about crazy jobs you had, like you worked on a train, right?

[85] Yeah.

[86] Yeah.

[87] I mean, think about that kind of shit.

[88] Go from that, that kind of shit to where you are now, you have an earned perspective, an earned perspective.

[89] It's still hard to feel like when you say earned of like, my life's pretty pretty cool now man like i get to go out and make art for a living and support my family and play music yeah no it's awesome it's kind of dope for sure but uh even then even that said as long as it took to get here and even the last three years like we toured our asses off me and going in circles to kind of build it organically and uh uh i feel really proud about that because all you know no matter what happens up or down i can i can feel like i'd accomplish something with merit yeah um but it well it's a beautiful time it's a beautiful time for artists you know oh we're definitely in a moment yeah right for sure it seems like a moment with music a moment with it's definitely a moment with stand -up comedy we all talk about it it's like the best time ever for stand -up i think country music too dude i'm still getting over brian holtsman who's the let the guy that did the last set that night dude that fucking i was traumatized that was an experience I can't even tell you Because you guys You motherfuckers didn't tell me what was coming We just like oh you gotta go see this guy I sit I'm sitting there thinking like I'm watching This guy bomb harder than anything I've ever seen He's like telling people in the audience to just start fucking And I mean he's like I couldn't take my eyes off of it It was amazing It was awesome And then after the set he's like Yeah you know Like holy shit that was all just Genius Yeah he's genius Brian Holstman's genius 100 % And he he People were running Yeah of the room man like literally this takes too well they got they ran out of the room to get away from this thing happening this is a vile expression of toxic masculinity on stage yeah brian does the kinnison spot which is um the last spot of the night so the last guy on the comedy store most spots the comedy store the nightcap yeah last spot at the comedy store just goes on from like i guess he gets on probably somewhere around 1230 maybe one -ish and then he'll he might go to two you know so he's He's got a long stretch.

[90] He does whatever he wants.

[91] That's why it's the Kinnison spot.

[92] How long has he been in that spot?

[93] Well, he's the perfect guy for that spot, and he does it on and off.

[94] He's been there at the store as long as I have.

[95] He's been there at the store since 94.

[96] I met him in 94.

[97] Is it always in that room?

[98] No, he does the little room, too.

[99] That's where I first met him.

[100] Or at first met him, he was like this promising up -and -coming guy that would go on in the smaller room.

[101] And, you know, he was like one of the hot up -and -coming guys.

[102] But he always kept, like, a real job.

[103] But he's in my opinion He's one of the best comics in the world He just doesn't get a chance to show it to people Right We've tried to talk about like what would be the best way To let people know and I think because he changes his stuff so much I think just putting cameras on him Every night filming this These Kinnison spots that he does every Friday and Saturday night It's it's I tell everybody if you want to see some comedy It's a tough one because to make people aware You know to let them know you kind of have you almost in a way sort of have to give away what makes it what it i don't know man it doesn't bother me i know i know and i know and i know he's a great guy and it's but i mean we're not we're kind of beating around the bush here he says obviously ridiculously offensive things that he doesn't really mean it's oh my god i i fucking have always loved that style of comedy you know and he's in my opinion like one of the best ever at it he's a monster just people don't know for whatever but they don't know because he never left right he stayed at the store and that's his spot he stayed in LA and he always kept a job he always had a job he's a meet a meter made at one point he's had a bunch of jobs like that kind of Bukowski type guy exactly but you know you you got to do it all for him like someone's kind of come along and do it all for him oh really yeah let's just take these off right let's be casual bro let's be kissby but uh yeah yeah can't wear them in the studio either man really they bug you they fuck with me it's just not it's not a natural uh you're responding to what you're hearing you're right it's good for some people because some people don't realize how goofy it sounds when everybody talks over everybody like if you have three people yeah and they don't have the ear things on so we were talking about before you came about the fight podcast and stuff yeah so with the fight podcast we do four people and we made it mandatory like got to wear earphones because we're drunk and stoned and we're talking over each other People are chewing into the mic, they don't know how bad it sounds.

[104] People eating pickles.

[105] Potato chips and pickles into the fucking microphone.

[106] And it's just like, oh my God, I would get these screaming text from people.

[107] Stop chewing into the fucking microphones.

[108] So we had to institute the headphones policy.

[109] But for a gentle conversationalist like yourself, it's very easy.

[110] Put those aside.

[111] Are you, like, when you were touring, like, all those three years, when you were going crazy and touring like a maniac, have you settled that down to more manageable sort of a schedule?

[112] Yeah, it would have been fine.

[113] Otherwise, I mean, I've always lived out of a bag, really, you know what I mean, and wanted to be moving all the time.

[114] So, like, in that regard, it's kind of ideal, but it's just the timing was a little bittersweet.

[115] Right.

[116] My son was born about a month after the last record came out.

[117] So I was home for that, and then basically three or four days after he's born, I had to go to Europe for some shows.

[118] And then press started rolling in, word of mouth, and the record just started selling.

[119] Dude, it's like a movie.

[120] And my wife is very supportive, and I wouldn't have moved to Nashville in the first place to do anything without her.

[121] her like telling me you can do this you know what i mean i'd still be working the railroad so uh when when it all kind of came about you know she basically said you know we didn't come here and like you'd do everything up into this point to not be able to go and because you have to now you have to tour right um so i did and other you know i think missing out what was going on at home and and carrying some sense of guilt maybe for that because even though like i'm out here my dreams are coming true it's providing for my family but when we come home after five or six weeks and then I've got a week at home before leaving again I'm just kind of seeing what I was missing in incremental stages, you know, and I think it took a toll on me emotionally in a way that I wouldn't have anticipated.

[122] So that's kind of where this record came from.

[123] I don't go on that kind of tour, but when I'd go on way just for a few days, just for four or five days, it bumps me out.

[124] You know, when you come back home, this rush of love, you know, That's a good way to put it.

[125] It's what it's like.

[126] It's like this, when I come home, like I just got back from the road.

[127] I was in Boston this weekend.

[128] I come home on Sunday.

[129] And when your kids run up to you and jump into your arms and you're carrying them and talking to them, you know, it's like, it's very hard to describe.

[130] For anybody that, like, doesn't have any children or doesn't have close friends with children, it's very hard to describe.

[131] It's a fucking game changer.

[132] It's a game changer.

[133] It changes who you are.

[134] instantly yeah you're just a different thing you're a different your your your perspective on the world is so different and i don't think it's mandatory i think this is important to say because man i used to bum me the fuck out when people who were fathers or mothers would treat you like you were doing something wrong because you didn't have kids or like there's something wrong with you if you didn't have no that's bullshit or they would tell you that you don't even know about life until you have kids or that you know yeah it's a perspective enhancer but guess what a lot of sheds a perspective enhancer like you don't have to do it but for me because i just hate when people tell people you know that it's like this mandatory aspect of life i think you could absolutely have a fulfilled life and never procreate a lot of people shouldn't be a parents man yeah for sure for sure almost every girl ever dated stay out of the business that's not true but date you change too, man. I have a buddy of mine.

[135] His ex -girlfriend was crazy, just off the charts, crazy, just wild.

[136] Girls out of her mind.

[137] Just drugs and sex and chaos.

[138] She had a kid, bam!

[139] snapped out of it.

[140] Eats healthy, organic.

[141] She's super mom.

[142] It wasn't about her anymore.

[143] It also is about a fresh chance to do something correct and raise a child with love and not create someone like yourself.

[144] It's this weird, opening thing I think for a lot of people when they realize where all their anger comes from where all their all comes from not being raised correctly that's a giant part of most people's lives is what kind of an interaction are you have with the people that love you and if you get programmed like real early on that love means hitting and screaming and chaos and yelling and fighting dude but when I was a kid man I used to look about marriage like somebody wanted to serve me plates of shit for the rest of my life like, what?

[145] Like, why would you do that?

[146] Because what I grew up with was just chaos.

[147] I grew up with people yelling at each other and hitting each other and, ah, fuck this.

[148] And you don't realize, I think, until you have a little baby that you're watching learn and develop and you're sort of data crunching all this shit, all these events in this child's life.

[149] And you're experiencing all this with them.

[150] And the way you're experiencing with them is this intense bond of love, but of also of guidance.

[151] So you have to guide this little person.

[152] And so while I'm doing that in just little moments and events in my daughter's lives, little conversations that we have that make me sort of process how they view the world and how they think about things.

[153] That has made me just so much more aware of where a lot of my own weird personality quirks have come from.

[154] It's like looking into your own eyes.

[155] Yeah.

[156] So you're seeing, you know, everything's instantly recognizable.

[157] it's uh but yeah that's a good way uh how did you just say you said the seeing their perspective you know but they're just mirroring whatever you're doing yeah because they don't hide things no you know they don't hide emotions they don't hide thoughts and if you can open up lines of communication with them really young and get them constantly used to talking about feelings and about thoughts and about why do you get those feelings like what you know they'll get jealous of each other Why does she get a new tour?

[158] Why do you care if she has a new toy?

[159] Like, why does that bother you if somebody else has something good?

[160] And you see that little brain going, oh, yeah.

[161] Because there's this, like, animal fucking instinct that makes you want to get upset about something.

[162] And you're like, what?

[163] Her friend gave her a tour.

[164] Where's my shit?

[165] You know, and you got to like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[166] You were happy until you found out that something good happened to someone you love?

[167] Right.

[168] That doesn't make any sense now, does it?

[169] And they're like, oh, yeah.

[170] You can see the little fucking tiny, tiny brain spinning.

[171] he's just starting to talk so we'll get there but now it's like it's a trip we really like playing drums together so that's probably that's awesome when he's talking to you is it freak you out it's happening right now yeah i mean you know he gosh it was there for a while there was this little period was like 10 words every day and you don't even know they're picking them up until they say them and they'll look you know look at something and say it and you know you we haven't had this lesson yet and it's like wow man or to express emotions and or even to see them at such a young age understanding how to manipulate situations, you know what I mean?

[172] That's really interesting social dynamic.

[173] You're watching like a primitive game of chess, a little primitive child chess.

[174] My daughter was three and we were skiing and she was packing her stuff up and she didn't have her helmet and her suitcase.

[175] So she had her suitcase closed.

[176] And then my wife goes, hey, you forgot your helmet.

[177] And she goes, shit.

[178] She was three.

[179] When a three -year -old goes, shit.

[180] Like a nice long one.

[181] You knew just how to say it.

[182] I had to bite my hand to keep from laughing.

[183] I mean, I try to encourage stuff that's funny as much as possible.

[184] But you can't encourage them swearing because they don't have the self -control to, like, shut it off when they go to school.

[185] You don't want to be the parents They teach the kids that swearing around that But it is fine It really is The fuck are we doing Is restricting the use of words to children It's like why I'm about over the PC thing Oh my God It's driving me fucking bananas But this one is just Fucking crazy So it's just so crazy Why swears It just seems so strange It doesn't seem to be of an issue much anywhere else in the world you go well for adults in business i kind of understand not using them formalities yeah yeah for formalities i mean if you want to know some is it is a rather lazy form of linguistics though i mean sure if you're just but hey it feels good so well it can be lazy but it's like everything else i think it's stress related honestly man swearing i think it really i think it comes from anxieties and and and stress induced uh variables i remember like In the Navy, it's, fuck this, fuck that, fuck.

[186] Like, every other word when I worked at the railroads and was salty language out there.

[187] I mean, just because you're under this, like, highly efficient expectation all the time.

[188] And there's all these creative personalities and ideas bouncing off each other.

[189] These little confined spaces and everybody was just wound tighter on a banjo string.

[190] It could be used a gang of ways, though, right?

[191] It can also use it as, like, a pause sometimes.

[192] People use it in place of a meter tool.

[193] Well, you know, sometimes people don't.

[194] know what they're going to say next and they want to say uh but instead they replace it with fuck like a fucking fucking fucking guy with his his fucking i'm fucking sitting there right i'm fucking talking this you know like that kind of that's where it gets real lazy that's what that's like most people don't even realize like the weird tics they have i didn't realize how many times i'd say you know or you know what i mean or or like the word like like like is a fucking dangerous one because you could be talking to someone and not pick it up but then once you do pick it up it's all you hear it's all you hear it's all you hear people have that little weird roadblock they have a blind side they didn't see it a blind spot and they just say like all the time like it's terrifying because it might be me I mean definitely have been Tommy Sigura's got it bad Sigura's got it bad he's got it bad he's got it bad he's a likeaholic he loves it he hams it up a little bit but like on that video he did in Cleveland weekend did you see that i didn't see that it's really funny was it him and uh hannibal burris no no no he was on uh news oh he was playing that character yeah yeah i did see that our friend thomsigur was in this morning show you ever do those do you have to do those morning shows no i don't i don't do this good for you i will my my career will suffer to some degree because of it but man i just i would i would never ask anyone to deal with me in a situation like that so it's best just to know what you are yeah and accept it you know do do you get a hard time for not wanting to do like certain kinds of press do they give you a hard time not really i mean i think uh most of the people that i've been working with for a while now they know who they're dealing with and i don't i don't mind doing the press honestly it's just it's uh at a certain point it becomes i think counterproductive or even destructive because you it's you it's you I don't know.

[195] You end up repeating things a lot to the point that you're asked the same question so many times that without even realizing that you find yourself giving verbatim answers.

[196] Right.

[197] That's when you know it's time to stop talking about it.

[198] Mm -hmm.

[199] Because it's, like I said, the more I feel like I talk about it, you're sort of denying people there a better chance to interpret it in a way that's going to make it mean even more to them.

[200] And they'll hear it in a way that maybe I didn't even mean it.

[201] Your memories become weird to you when you talk about them all the time, too.

[202] When you talk about certain things and you repeat yourself over and over again.

[203] It almost becomes a script to you.

[204] Like the memories of those things get weird.

[205] I realized, you know, like I said this, I've been playing music forever, but all this other stuff was very sudden transition.

[206] But being a skeptical, naturally skeptical person and self -aware, like you get in these situations, and I sort of realize there's a certain theatric to it all.

[207] You know what I mean?

[208] and then once you get past the reality of that and then you learn enough about it to know that you can sit and talk for three hours literally, but it's not a representation of what you talked about.

[209] You can talk about everything under the sun and they might take one little sentence that had nothing to do with anything and an editor decides that that should be the title of the article that is now written from some preconceived stance that you were unaware of during the conversation.

[210] You know what I mean?

[211] It's like, The written word is especially problematic.

[212] Yeah, you can't print context.

[213] You can't print context, and it's literally someone's interpretation.

[214] It's art that's interpreting an individual.

[215] So if someone writes a story about you, it's really art, because it's their own way of flavoring this whole interaction.

[216] They try to do it with, you know, colorful descriptives, and they try to use bold adjectives and try to figure out a way to paint it in the most entertaining way, as well as get some point across.

[217] So I think sometimes with a lot of guys They're also just trying to get you to click on their website Yep, that true But the way to do that is with a good entertainment So it doesn't necessarily have to be An actual factual representation of who you are Like if someone writes a story about you Like what's almost more important Is this art of getting something salacious Is art of writing something Something that makes you say Oh, this guy is wild or this guy's that you know It has to be like this one thing, you know, Sturgle Simpson first fucked a man when he was 14, you know?

[218] You know what I mean?

[219] Like something like first sentence like, hey, Jesus, where the fuck is this article going?

[220] You know?

[221] Not really, but he would have you believe that.

[222] You know, you know, I mean?

[223] Like it starts...

[224] Man, I didn't realize it until it's when you meet people on the street and you realize they have these crazy misinformed ideas about who you are and what you represent and like, you know, what you are.

[225] I mean...

[226] Yeah.

[227] you know that was that was a good lesson learned yeah that's a good lesson for anybody actually just kind of a dork and what's that it's really just like a dork and you know you bet you're like this this outlaw tough guy like you know fucking dirt to dirt that's what they think i don't know some of them some of them probably do people are always looking for that though right i think i was looking for the outlaw country guy it seems to be the case yeah like that was a shooter had a song making fun of all these like fake outlaws.

[228] I think his dad had a song making fun of all that shit too.

[229] His dad did.

[230] Well, his dad was the real thing.

[231] Yeah.

[232] You know, it's got to be hard to look at some fake outlaws with designer scratches in their jeans, like they got attacked by a fucking leopard or some shit.

[233] I mean, that looks so stupid.

[234] And when your dad is fucking Wayland Jennings, that's got to be even more offensive.

[235] I can't imagine, man. You know, when they see these guys with a hat that they just got 15 minutes before they went on stage someone handed it to them and placed it perfectly and someone's doing their hair and checking to make sure everything's good then they send them out there to be an outlaw sober on Adderall, probably beta blockers it's something that I couldn't possibly describe to you how little I pay attention to it to country or to music in general country but even anymore i don't really listen to much going on you are you buddies with that guy jason how do you how you say isbel yeah that's the right way to say that yeah dude i just got in him a couple weeks ago genius fantastic i listened to that uh his most recent album like the entire time i was in mexico i was in mexico for like a week i just listened to him the entire time yeah we use uh jason played some shows together it's good dude man good you should have him on a podcast i would love to interesting guy a really smart dude great writer oh yeah he's kind of the guy yeah oh my god i mean the lyrics incredible intense just so really well structured too that's the other thing about this job is you meet people that you hit it off with but you never hang out because you're never at home so we've been trying for like two years to take our wives to dinner man but like it's one of the other you either on tour or somebody's back or i know exactly what it's like i know exactly what it's like uh comedians we work together a lot that's how we do it we also work together at the store that's why the store is like a great base it's like home base so everybody goes to the store so we meet each other in the store during the week nights and then a lot of times in the weekends we'll work together it's like if we do big theater shows especially how many nights do you think you're down there the store yeah um at least two always at least two just working yeah it depends on how many nights i'm in town you know but it's it's convenient for me because my spots are always after 10.

[236] So my kids are already asleep.

[237] So I can jet out after I put them to bed.

[238] I can get, you know, they go to bed at like eight.

[239] So I'm gone.

[240] You know, it's perfect.

[241] And it's also, like, for anybody who does the road a lot, it's a nice wake -up call, you know?

[242] Like, you just see these animals going up in there.

[243] You know, Chris Rock show up working on his Oscar speech.

[244] He showed up that Saturday night.

[245] That's right.

[246] Yeah, that's right.

[247] That's right.

[248] Chappelle shows up all the time.

[249] Louis shows up all the time Bill Burr's there all the time I mean just all the assassins Just topping up and testing out new stuff Or keeping their chops up Keeping the chops up Testing out new stuff All the above Just you're just working You know It's like everyone's act It's sort of like a work of progress You know And when you're close to them You watch it from them Like Joey Diaz Who I think is the funniest guy Of all time He's the funniest guy ever I never Never laughed harder than watching him But I watch his bits I watch him develop like, because I'm working with them all the time.

[250] Right.

[251] That's some of the more interesting things about, one of the more interesting things about being friends with a lot of comedians is watching all the different styles of, like, creation, how they do it, how they piece it together.

[252] It's, well, it's just like songwriting.

[253] There's like, there's no right way to do it a long way.

[254] But, man, I tell you what, just that, I don't, you know, I'm just now getting to spend any time out here.

[255] But I, there's something about that world, just the couple of times I've gone and spent time in that place.

[256] It's a totally different headspace than anything I'm used to or accustomed to.

[257] And you can see there's definitely a sense of community.

[258] Oh, yeah.

[259] And there's a palpitable underlying darkness to it all.

[260] But I think what I like the most about it is there's no gray area.

[261] You know, all in all, everybody seems to be pretty black and white and, like, real as fuck, you know.

[262] You can get away with some ridiculous shit on that stage, too, because it's just the way it's always been.

[263] Like Holtzman Without giving any of his set away Right Some of the things that he was saying You're like Jesus fucking Christ Oh dude I was I mean I know you're enjoying that too Because I was sitting there just like Oh shit He was particularly on fire that night too Like the screaming at people And So what happens when somebody gets up And just jumps on the stage And goes for him That's happened before you got I mean the dude with his girlfriend I was just like What is happening right now Holy shit man That was intense.

[264] But the people were laughing, but people have attacked him.

[265] Really?

[266] Yeah.

[267] Martin Lawrence's bodyguard.

[268] Does that go south?

[269] I mean, then what?

[270] I wasn't there.

[271] I missed the festivities, but from what I understand, Martin Lawrence was in the audience, and him and Holtzman were going back and forth, and Holtzman went over to the table to point out that it was actually Martin Lawrence that he was being heckled by.

[272] Martin's bodyguard gets up, punches him in the head, knocks him out.

[273] That was one time I heard, but there was some other stuff, too.

[274] Damn.

[275] One time he took a fucking an ashtray, and Ari was talking about this the other day.

[276] The comedy store, especially like in the early days, had these thick, fucking glass ashtrays, old school bar ashtrays.

[277] I'm sure many people got murdered with one of those fucking things.

[278] Well, Holtzman was talking about Charlie's Angels and how angry he was that anybody really fucking believes a woman could kick all those men's ass.

[279] I take her and he grabs an ashtray and I'll fucking crush her and he throws the ashtray at the table and shatters his fucking ashtray.

[280] Holy fuck.

[281] Yeah, it's like, whoa.

[282] He blew an ashtray up in the room.

[283] I mean, glasses flying all over the fucking place.

[284] I mean, he really threw this ashtray down on this table and shattered it.

[285] It was a small crowd, but someone easily could have got hit with a hunk of glass.

[286] That glass is probably still on that ground Shards Decades later He definitely could probably find the shards But he's going for it You know what I mean It's You know it's It's one of those things we were talking about Like There's There's a When you're writing a song I guess It's probably similar too Where you're creating this narrative You're being a separate person Maybe than you are in real life and you're creating it and you're singing it from that person's perspective well when a guy like Holtzman is doing that on stage he's doing something similar but because it's just talking people don't accept it as not really his opinion you know they think that he's just a fucking asshole and a misogynist and this and of that and it's not just like he's a character in a movie that's playing an asshole that's happened to be hilarious which we accept with no reservation it's weird right it's uh I don't know I was just enamored like after the fact and then looking back on what I'd just seen how when he's in the moment of playing the frustrated you know like you this is such you know like what's the fucking what's the point you know it's like right but so he was just so in that it has to make me feel like a big part of it's coming from a very real place too you know oh yeah oh yeah it's just i mean he's not carrying that around with him all the time but that's definitely coming from a real place he has this bit about hillary i can't give it away it's kind of cathartic in a way yeah for sure definitely but he's like he's a very smart guy obviously he's legitimately frustrated at the world around him you know who isn't yeah but if you're not then you're not paying attention i mean it's that simple in this day and age look you we all should try to do and i i know you agree is try to be as harmonious as you can in your life in your personal life in your friendships harmonious as you can the problem today is that in this day and age we have access to all the stories all the stories everywhere there's too many of us that's too much data to crunch you're only going to get the shitty ones because the shitty ones are the ones you're going to hear about because those are you know ISIS cuts baby's head off holy shit you know that shit doesn't scare me man I don't worry about ISIS and things like that.

[287] I worry more about natural disasters.

[288] as weird you should say that whenever we talk I get hung up on fault lines and, you know, the inevitable but my wife makes fun of me about it.

[289] No, I mean, I guess I should be worried about ISIS, but I mean, hell these like neo -Nazi bent prospective Zionist group scare me more than ISIS.

[290] The homegrown ones?

[291] Yeah, the ones actually here in our country that like the oregon guys uh i don't want to man i watched about two minutes of that i was just like i can't even look at this we still never found out who called them yalkaida we never figured it out we believe someone on this show named them yolkida it was either that or it was a comic that we named them i googled it in fact i best saw it a lot of times on google so i don't know where it started hmm it might not have even started there then the person who said it might have heard it first either way what a fucking great name yolkida i fucking love that name how did what it was what did what did it I mean I honestly did step away wouldn't end up happening with all that um one guy got shot and killed um and then there was uh some guys turned themselves in and uh you know there's a standoff for a long period time had to do with grazing and cattle cattle on on uh public land bm what they call it department of land management dLM is it dLM land is that it bureau land management BLM yeah that's it There's a mountain range in Utah that was still BLM land.

[292] A lot of the hunters were, there's like a hundred, like a hundred year ban on, is it, the Okra, I think, Okra Mountain Range in the other side of the valley.

[293] And they were getting ready to open it back up after a hundred years.

[294] Well, most people don't have this in their country.

[295] Most countries don't have giant swaths of public land that you can hunt and fish on.

[296] Right.

[297] That was all because of Teddy Roosevelt.

[298] Teddy Roosevelt faced so much pressure to not do that and to give in to that that he wound up leaving was he a Republican or a Democrat I feel like the Democrats used to be the more conservative ones back in the day and then the Republicans were the more open -minded and liberal and somewhere along the the polar axis is shifted Is that sort of written red rather anyway Teddy Roosevelt he deemed all this land all over the country as public land and you you could never do anything with it you can't you can't fucking put cities in it you can't do shit with it this is just public land and this is land owned by the people of the United States and there's been a lot of like really shady politicians that have looked at our debt because you know United States has massive debt and they'd said look this is one way we can get rid of this debt we can sell some of our public land I think Paul Ryan that guy that's one of the presidential guys I think he bowed out of the presidential election but he was one of the guys that was it was one of his proposals and people the like outdoors people people that hike and hunt and fish they were going fucking crazy like you can't do this like you can't but you look at it on CNN you look at it's like one of the most important things about what makes this country amazing is some of our natural resources our parks there's nothing else like it on the planet yeah Yosemite I mean go to Yosemite if you don't think there's some majesty in places in the world, like almost like a magic land.

[299] You look at those mountains and you see a grizzly bear and you see a fucking herd of bison.

[300] You're like, holy shit.

[301] What is this?

[302] This is a wild park.

[303] You can go through this park and you might get eaten by a grizzly.

[304] Go ahead.

[305] Good luck.

[306] I mean, you're in the world where people are fucking coddled and pampered and every edge is covered by a thick chunk of nerve.

[307] Shit gets real.

[308] Dude, you could walk through Yellowstone.

[309] And two people over the last, like, five years have been killed by bears.

[310] It happens more than you think.

[311] Yeah, man. My friend was there.

[312] He heard wolves howl.

[313] He said it was the craziest shit.

[314] He said, we're in Yosemite, and you hear, oh, you hear it.

[315] Oh, oh.

[316] And I was like, it's like a coyote.

[317] He's like, no, no, it's a fucking wolf, man. It's different.

[318] That would be bad, bad, bad way to go.

[319] Speaking of Roosevelt and Yellowstone, have you ever been to that big ranger station that, I think he's the one that had it built out there, but it's this.

[320] like 20 story high cabin there's all these weird wooden you can go to no i've heard of it but i've never been to that amazing and it's like really old building it's really old i mean over a hundred years old they you know all the forest rangers i think i hope i'm getting that right lived in it but it's pretty much like the coolest treehouse you'll ever see anywhere on the planet but it's a big hunting lodge wow just check it out if you're ever out there imagine those days man when they They only, you know, like, we have a pretty clear view from all the data we've taken in, all the photographs and video and all the people's accounts.

[321] We have a clear view of what this country's like, you know.

[322] At this point, yeah.

[323] Yeah, I mean, we know about the drive to Vegas from L .A. We know about going up the coast to Sam.

[324] You know what I'm saying?

[325] We know some.

[326] But in the Teddy Roosevelt days, they were, they were still, they were like 50 years into pictures.

[327] Undaunted courage, man. Right?

[328] They had, their first pictures were in the late 1800s, right?

[329] So the Teddy Roosevelt age, I mean, this motherfucker was, they barely knew anything.

[330] No. The fuck did they, how, what year was Roosevelt president?

[331] Early 1900s, 1909.

[332] So think about that.

[333] They'd only had pictures for like, what, 50 or 60 years?

[334] How many pictures of there were, of Yellowstone, or of the Colorado Rockies or all the different types of wildlife you're going to run into?

[335] How about a wolf?

[336] You got a photo of a Wolverine yet?

[337] I just stomach it'll cause that fucking thing for the first time going, Jesus, what is that?

[338] Fuck, man. I was watching this video the other day with this dude who was driving his fucking car.

[339] He watched a wolf and a mountain lion fighting to the death.

[340] They were dukeying it out right in front of him.

[341] He stopped his car and he said they were so close that he could reach out and touch the wolf.

[342] And so he's sitting there in his car.

[343] Well, this wolf and this mountline are fucking engaged in mortal combat.

[344] I'm cool.

[345] I'm good, man. But what a crazy trip that would be to see that.

[346] And, you know, if you were in the Teddy Roosevelt days.

[347] If I knew they weren't coming through the windshield, yeah, I'd go see that.

[348] But, I mean, I'm getting out of the car.

[349] I don't know, yeah, you drive through Yellowstone every time.

[350] It never fails.

[351] If there is a grisly sighting, you get there, and there's, like, 20 carloads of people standing out on the street with their cameras.

[352] out, and a ranger stander saying, please get back in your car.

[353] You're entering the food chain.

[354] The guy was so sardonic about it.

[355] I was just like, this is amazing.

[356] This is it right here.

[357] This is the video.

[358] This is the wolf and the, look, the mountain lion has the wolf by the neck.

[359] Wow, the mountain lion jacked him.

[360] That is crazy.

[361] Look at the mountain line winning.

[362] I think I'd rather get eaten by a great white shark than taken out by a cougar man, because it's going to play with you like a ball of yarn.

[363] Back it up, Jamie, because before that, you actually see them duking it out before the mountain line wins.

[364] A friend of mine is a guide.

[365] He's a hunting guide in Colorado.

[366] Look at this battle.

[367] The mountain line just clamps him down on his neck.

[368] Wolf's trying, but it ain't working out, dude.

[369] The mountain line ain't letting go.

[370] Fuck.

[371] Did you see that video of the Panther?

[372] The lady caught on video.

[373] Yeah, your panther ran by him.

[374] Holy shit.

[375] That was scary.

[376] Ran by her, yeah.

[377] It's in Florida.

[378] I was hiking on Antelope Island one time.

[379] just north of Utah, and they have this big buffalo reserve out there.

[380] It's like a public peak, probably sixth out, you know, day hike.

[381] But there's all these free -range in buffalo everywhere on the island, you know.

[382] Wow.

[383] And so we're coming back down the hill, me and my buddy, and as we were hiking down the trail, you know, about 300 yards down, I can see there's a couple buffalo right on the trail on the footpath.

[384] And we're like, well, that's all right, they'll be moved on by the time we get there.

[385] And we come down the hill, come around this big boulder, and sure, shit, they're still standing there, And I, you know, I, my uncle had a farm.

[386] He had cows.

[387] I've never been around a damn buffalo.

[388] I don't know the difference in, uh, so I'm like, well, they'll move.

[389] It's just a big ass cow, you know, so we just keep walking towards them.

[390] My buddy, he jumps up on a rock and he's just laughing at me like a dumb ass because I'm standing there at this point.

[391] This thing's 15 feet in front of me. Oh, my God.

[392] And it was grazing, like sideways with his, with his hip towards me. And he's just eating.

[393] And finally, he looks up and turns his head and looked at me, man. And I realized, holy shit.

[394] I mean, it's like the size of a Volkswagen Beetle, man. Oh, my God.

[395] And he's just looking at me, I'm thinking, this is some dumb shit right here.

[396] Like, what am I doing?

[397] You know, what do I do?

[398] That's a different buffalo, buddy.

[399] That's a water buffalo.

[400] Yeah, it's an Asian animal.

[401] Old school.

[402] A bison.

[403] There you go, top of bison, yeah.

[404] Yeah, that's a water buffalo.

[405] And he just turns and looks at me, and I'm like, oh, I'm so fucked.

[406] And I didn't know what else to do.

[407] Like the size of that thing.

[408] Took one more step forward.

[409] you did towards him yeah i didn't know what else to do man because we're looking he's looking right at me and i just kind of like took i didn't know like he's going to charge me i'm either running or what so i took one more step and he just kind of like often and him and this buddy ran but when he started running me like the whole ground shook and i remember standing there looking at my my friend thinking like that could have been really bad oh yeah you could be dead no sturgle simpson but there's it's but it's open to the public you can hike out there all the tomas buffalo everywhere so Yeah.

[410] How's that a winning combination?

[411] I like it.

[412] I do.

[413] I like it way better than I like the idea of a zoo.

[414] Enter nature at your own risk.

[415] I think you should enter nature at your own risk, and I think nature should be natural.

[416] So you're a big bow hunter, right?

[417] Yeah.

[418] Okay, so we started to talk about us at dinner, but moose are mean as shit.

[419] Yeah.

[420] You know, if you shoot an arrow and an elk's ass and it doesn't kill it, you just piss it off, and now you're 40 yards away from this thing.

[421] What do you do?

[422] Well, most important.

[423] Importantly, you've got to practice, especially if you're going to shoot an arrow.

[424] I practice every day.

[425] Really?

[426] Every day.

[427] Every day I go somewhere and I shoot arrows.

[428] Something you should probably take seriously.

[429] You've got to take it so, it's not like a rifle thing.

[430] See, a rifle thing is it's all just about understanding how to use the scope and understanding trigger discipline.

[431] You've got to understand how to squeeze a trigger and not pull it.

[432] But archery involves a lot of weird hand -eye coordination and back.

[433] balance.

[434] There's so many different factors going on.

[435] There's like a little site that you have and you have to balance that site out where the bubble is in the center, you know, the level bubble.

[436] You got to make sure you're not torquing your bow left or right.

[437] You got to make sure that the peep, the peep site, the little string hole that you're looking through lines up and it clipses perfectly your housing.

[438] You have to make sure that your hand is completely steady.

[439] You got to make sure you don't flinch at all when you release the arrow.

[440] There's so much going on.

[441] Any micro, movement can add up to several feet left or right when it gets down past like 40 and 50 yards all the while it's trying to control your intended you know target on yeah moving creature yeah moving creature and you have to make you have to be good enough to make an ethical shot right you know you have to be good enough to you know and it's not easy man it's not fucking easy so that's the most important thing it's like there's a lot of guys that shouldn't be doing it because they're doing it and they make...

[442] I was going to say all that said when shit goes wrong, what do you do?

[443] Well, you have to have a plan, all right?

[444] If you shoot an animal and it charges that, you got to have a tree near you or something where you can get behind the tree.

[445] Right.

[446] You know, but you've got to assume that if you hit an animal with an arrow, the last thing I wants to do is charge you unless it's a predator.

[447] Predators might charge you.

[448] Like, if you, there's a real possibility that if you hit a bear, although I know, know people that have hit a moose um my friend ronella got run over by a moose he shot it with a rifle and went to move in for the the final shot and the thing was much better shaped than he thought it was right and it got up and charged him and knocked him over yeah and i've seen another guy who um shot a moose with a bow and the moose charged him but most of the time they want to get the fuck away from you but again it's not safe it's not supposed to be But it's real.

[449] I mean, if you are hunting an elk and you kill an elk with a bow and arrow, you fucking killed an elk with a bow and arrow, it is real.

[450] It is 100 % real.

[451] That is a real elk.

[452] It's a wild fucking animal.

[453] It doesn't have any rule book.

[454] There's no act.

[455] There's no act break.

[456] There's no commercial time.

[457] That's a real 1 ,000 -pound wild horse with a tree grown out of its fucking head.

[458] And it's horny.

[459] It's screaming.

[460] This thing that's 10 times bigger than you.

[461] running up a hill with a tree grown out of its head.

[462] And now you've got to carry it out of there.

[463] Yeah, well, you've got to cut it up.

[464] Well, the elk that I shot, luckily, we're close enough to get a truck nearby.

[465] But I know guys that have had to camp them out, packed them out.

[466] Yeah, because, you know, and then the smell and everything, you're drawing predators at night if you have to do bears.

[467] You've got to be real careful.

[468] Bears.

[469] But wolves, too.

[470] I have a friend of mine who's going to be on next week, this guy, John Dudley.

[471] He was in Alberta, and they shot an elk, and they got surrounded.

[472] surrounded by wolves the wolves are trying to take the elk he said it was fuck they killed two wolves they like they got they got charged by wolves yeah it got real weird man and he said and once they had killed two um this alpha like hung around the edge of this uh ridge and looked down at them and just decided enough was enough and just went ghost and they all disappeared the entire pack but they were around him howling he said he could hear like 12 distinctly different howls around them and they have an elk on the ground yeah and people you know people say oh he killed a wolf that guy's an asshole they kill a lot of wolves up there folks and you might think that's a terrible idea and that's horrible and it is if you don't live there but if you live there fuck they have to like you don't understand everybody has this idea and i talk about this way too much so I'll stop.

[473] But everybody had this idea of predators that they're like some character in a movie that knows the script.

[474] They don't, man. They, you have to control their fucking populations.

[475] They just found this 19 dead elk that these wolves killed in Wyoming.

[476] They just left them there.

[477] They just went on a slaughter fest.

[478] They snuck into this pack of, like some of those elk packs in Wyoming, you'll get like a hundred elk.

[479] You know, it's immense.

[480] These huge, huge packs of elk.

[481] What would you call?

[482] What would you call them?

[483] A herd, herd of elk.

[484] And so this wolf pack jumped in there.

[485] Look at all the elk they killed.

[486] 19 elk, and they didn't need any of them.

[487] They just killed them.

[488] Yeah.

[489] Yeah.

[490] You know, like you said, unless you live there, it's hard to have an opinion one way or another, I guess.

[491] Well, everybody that has an opinion, it's all, I mean, people that have unrealistic opinions about wolves, it's all coming from a beautiful place.

[492] It's coming from a place of love.

[493] They love animals.

[494] But they do breed like dogs.

[495] Yeah, they do.

[496] Yeah, they have litters, man. Nothing's hunting them.

[497] Yeah, people like, only the alphas get to breed.

[498] You better fucking read up on history.

[499] Natural history.

[500] That's not true.

[501] They all fuck.

[502] Dogs fuck like crazy.

[503] The alphas control most of the breeding, yeah.

[504] But it doesn't mean the other ones don't fuck.

[505] There's a lot of wolves.

[506] They just did some recent survey on wolves in, I believe it was Idaho.

[507] And they were talking about how many of them there are.

[508] They're like, whoa.

[509] Like, this is kind of, they're far beyond where.

[510] they thought that they needed to be before they would put them back on the hunting list.

[511] But they don't, they don't ever want to put them on, like, what happens is they reintroduced him in the 90s.

[512] And before that, they were pretty much wiped out by cattle ranchers and all these people throughout the West.

[513] There's very few, like, wild wolves in North America.

[514] And so they reintroduced these wolves from Canada.

[515] It happened to be larger, by the way.

[516] There are larger wolves than the wolves that were naturally here.

[517] What did the Native Americans do about the wolf population back in the day?

[518] Well, they didn't, I mean, they killed them, certainly, because they used to use their skins to sneak up on bison, actually.

[519] There's a crazy fucking famous painting, an iconic painting of these American Indians with a wolf costume on, like they have covering their body, and they're crawling with a bow and arrow up to these bison.

[520] Because bison weren't scared of wolves.

[521] They'd be like, bitch, fucking kicking in your head.

[522] Yeah, right.

[523] Seriously.

[524] Yeah, bison's don't, that's one of the reasons why there were so many of them.

[525] Other animals really had a very difficult time taking them out.

[526] Look at this.

[527] Here's the picture.

[528] That's like an icon.

[529] Yeah, that's exactly how that one looked at me right there.

[530] Fuck.

[531] I was just like.

[532] That's got to be bone chilling.

[533] What did that feel like, staring that thing down?

[534] Man, I froze.

[535] I literally froze because I just, I didn't know what to do.

[536] Could be the end of your life.

[537] That was the thing.

[538] You're standing there and I realized I'm, I'm, I've just put myself in a horrendously bad situation.

[539] The amount of force they could generate, you can't even resist it.

[540] There's nothing you could do.

[541] You're just completely helpless.

[542] Like, there's literally nothing you could do.

[543] They run faster than you.

[544] Yeah.

[545] And they're, you know, that's a 1 ,500, 2 ,000 -pound animal.

[546] Fuck.

[547] And the Indians snuck up on them like that.

[548] And my friend Steve Rinella, not Steve Renella, Remy Warren, he has this television show called Apex Predator.

[549] And they did all these different episodes on the ways different animals hunt their prey and see if he could recreate it.

[550] And that's one of the things he did.

[551] He took a wolfskin and put it on them and crawled up to these buffalo and got like right inside them.

[552] Yeah.

[553] But they're afraid of us.

[554] Well, they're afraid of people because of our bang sticks.

[555] Yeah, right.

[556] True that.

[557] I was saying earlier, I forgot what I was talking about for a second.

[558] But a friend of mine is a guide in Colorado.

[559] and they found these mountain line tracks, like all these mountain line tracks, and then elk tracks.

[560] And then the mountain line tracks and the elk tracks together, and then there's a space of like several hundred yards where there was just elk tracks.

[561] And so they followed that elk track, and they found a mountain line on top of the elk killing it.

[562] This fucking giant elk, like a thousand -pound elk.

[563] He said it was a huge six -by -six.

[564] So you're talking about a mature animal.

[565] And this mountain line was like, fuck it, I'm going for it.

[566] And he jumped on this thing and clamped a hold of its back and then brought it down.

[567] The mountain line weighed 150 pounds.

[568] So it took out this thousand plus pound elk by jumping on its back and biting its neck.

[569] You guys get them down in the valley?

[570] Mount lions?

[571] Yeah.

[572] Out here encroaching.

[573] Killed a koala bear at the zoo the other day.

[574] Yeah.

[575] Now we're taking it seriously.

[576] Yeah.

[577] Well, they're like, how the fuck did it get in?

[578] It's got a 12 foot high fence There's razor wire on the top It's a 150 pound sneaky ass cat man Come on I saw that little Fucking EWalk and it was like I know But it found a way It climbed over barbed wire That's hard core dude That's hard as fucking core gets 12 foot high fence Barbed wire on the top It's like Good try I got this Good try He probably got cut up a bit But whatever He's a mountain line They probably heal like that It's an enormous cat, though, man 150 -pound cat.

[579] Yeah.

[580] Like, you know, you're riding your bike one day.

[581] One of those things falls out of a tree on your head.

[582] It's going to grab your neck with these big old saber teeth and, like, take you to the ground and fucking play with you for a while.

[583] It's not just going to kill you, you know what I mean?

[584] It's going to mess with your shit.

[585] They're the size of that fucker.

[586] That's the one that lives up in the Hollywood Hills.

[587] That's the one that they think killed the koala bear.

[588] That's a lion.

[589] That's a lion, dude.

[590] I mean, that's like a lion in Africa lion.

[591] Look at the fucking forearms on that goddamn thing Like those front forearms are insane That would be awful That's an insane amount of power That thing must have And they say that pound for pound They're one of the strongest cats Yeah I mean look at its Yeah I mean his shoulders and arms my god I'll tell you right now If a bobcat tries to fuck with me I'll fuck up a bobcat I'm pretty confident I'll kick a bobcat's ass I bet it still wouldn't be fun No No, I'm kidding, man. Look, I have cats, and I have to wash them.

[592] And my daughter is allergic to cats, and the only way we can mitigate it is we have to shave them.

[593] So they get a buzz cut, like a lion's cut, and wash them.

[594] And it makes a giant difference in how much dander they leave.

[595] Because they're both, like, really fluffy cats.

[596] They would leave cat air everywhere.

[597] But so this solution made a bit.

[598] But I have to fucking hold on to these little fuckers why they get shaved.

[599] And, man, even though, like, they love me. And, you know, when they want to go, man, they want to go.

[600] And you realize, like, how difficult they are to control.

[601] Agilil.

[602] Yeah, they're fucking, they move.

[603] They twist and contort and they can fucking kick it off you.

[604] This big long, sinewy, relaxed muscles that all of a sudden, you're like, holy shit, you're actually a little bodybuilder, okay.

[605] We're just so lucky.

[606] We're so much bigger than them.

[607] But with a mountline, you're not.

[608] My wife wants to get a cat.

[609] There's a bobcat.

[610] I'm there.

[611] Come, come get some bobcat.

[612] I'll fuck you up, bitch.

[613] No, it'd probably be terrified.

[614] Oh, that was a cute one.

[615] That's a lynx, though.

[616] I don't think that's a bobcat.

[617] Those, uh, there's, you ever see those weird lynxes they have in Canada?

[618] Those white ones?

[619] I've never been to Canada, man. No, actually, it's not true.

[620] I've been in Canada.

[621] I've just never been up to the part of Canada that I'd really like to see.

[622] They have these, uh, weird cats, man. They don't even look real.

[623] They look like a, like a Star Wars cat.

[624] It's called a lynx.

[625] Links.

[626] And they have these crazy big paws with furrow.

[627] There is.

[628] Look at that.

[629] The weird ears.

[630] Yeah.

[631] Come on, man. That's like a darny an animal.

[632] Some Turkish delight Yeah, look at that That doesn't even look real Look at that cat Tell me that looks real That looks like something From some weird movie Like their proportions Like go back to that last picture Jamie Look at the proportions of its body It's so odd Giant feet Long ass big legs Just a weird body man And that thing is just up there Ernin Just earning Just out there hustling every day jack and shit with its face like what does it hunt in canada i guess everything i'm sure small things i don't think they get that big i mean if i had a guess i would say links probably only gets to be like 50 pounds see what it how see how big they get see if i'm right i don't think they get much bigger than that but i think they probably eat um 24 pounds okay i think they probably eat like rabbits and squirrels or fawns they'll definitely eat fawns we found this fucked up video of this martin a martin chasing a rabbit you know what a martin is what is that play it for him jamie martin a martin is an animal that i always associated with fur because of those alaska shows you know those shows where the dudes are living up in alaska there's one called uh mountain men and this guy runs a fur trap line and one of the things he traps is martin well that's a martin it's like a little badger and it's chasing after a rabbit so the little black thing in the back is the bat is the martin and this is a literally a run for life look at this rabbit's going fuck fuck and the martin's hustling behind him he's moving fuck yeah it is and this is like a crazy sprint i mean they're both sprinting it's like how long can they do it for and the martin just is relentless and these people are filming this from their fucking car following them behind them on the road and uh the martin just finally the rabbit starts trying to veer off the road and he gets into the thick shit and the martin closes the distance but look at the drama here it runs better on the hung up boom bitch oh my god yeah and here what's crazy is they're the same size in fact the martin is smaller than the rabbit look at the difference things mean as shit oh yeah man i mean he just carried it up by its face that's like you jump on the pack snow he's like he's like he hit a nitro button or something well he knew the end was near that was cool yeah but Imagine if you...

[633] We went down the rabbit hole on this...