#1431 - Owen Smith

[0] It is?

[1] Yeah.

[2] Three, two, one, boom, and we're live.

[3] Oh, we're talking about yoga and Russell Simmons.

[4] Yeah.

[5] Russell Simmons, he moved to Bali because he's worried about them extra dieting him.

[6] I don't know if he's worried, but I, this is all conjecture.

[7] This is what I've heard.

[8] But I just bought him up because he had a yoga studio here.

[9] Did he?

[10] Yeah.

[11] And he gave me a month free.

[12] A month free, high -end yoga thing.

[13] Like, you just show up in your clothes.

[14] They give you.

[15] the mat, towels, blocks, everything, and everybody was awesome.

[16] And I went every day for a month and did yoga next to Russell Simmons.

[17] Wow.

[18] And he was, like, amazing.

[19] And I was, like, really feeling it.

[20] I felt great.

[21] And then all the stuff happened.

[22] It's so easy to slide.

[23] Oh, man. It's so easy to slide away.

[24] Yeah, man. I love that guy.

[25] I have a funny story.

[26] What do you think is more important than stand -up?

[27] To be polished or to be raw?

[28] There's no more important thing.

[29] They're both very important.

[30] But Joey Diaz is not polished at all.

[31] And he's the funniest guy that I've ever seen.

[32] No one's ever made me laugh harder.

[33] He's not polished.

[34] He's raw as fuck.

[35] But raw alone is not good because some guys like jessleneck is very polished and he's very funny.

[36] You're very polished.

[37] You're very funny.

[38] Yes.

[39] There's no one thing.

[40] you know it's like comedy is a it's an art it's an expression of who you are if you're a polished person and you try to come off raw it's going to look corny so i bought that up because i am i don't know young 20s deaf jam is having auditions it just moved from new york to la and beverly hills was where they're taping which was ironic in itself and uh but i was raw you remember those when you go hit it DJ and you have music cue like this.

[41] So I auditioned and Bushwick Bill was one of the judges.

[42] It was like a, I auditioned at all jokes aside in Chicago.

[43] And I got picked.

[44] I was one of the people to get picked to tape Def Chan.

[45] First time I was ever flown out anywhere.

[46] First time I ever came to, was flown to Los Angeles.

[47] I'd been here before.

[48] Stayed at the Hotel Sofitel.

[49] Whoa.

[50] But what happened is I got picked.

[51] I was raw.

[52] About three months went by.

[53] I went on a tour of North Dakota, South Dakota, Minneapolis, where none of those Def Jam jokes worked.

[54] So I started, like, getting polished a little bit, right?

[55] So when I went to tape Def Jam, I did it, and I got, I think, seven applause breaks, but I didn't get the standing ovation.

[56] And I remember when I got off stage, one comedian said, way to keep them see you.

[57] it and Russell walked right past me like I just wanted him to see me so I knew I wasn't going to air right and I got that was my first wait a minute you got seven applause breaks and it wouldn't air well I got a note I got I got my first rejection letter saying thank you so much but you're you're you won't be airing they aired right they aired Rodman and they aired two other people and then so I felt like shit you know what I mean like I was like damn am I black enough like the whole black thing Like, damn, I'm not a part of the Def Jam.

[58] I want to be touring.

[59] I can make those audiences laugh.

[60] But what I auditioned with, it was straight from Maryland, like straight, just raw, like, all bravado.

[61] I wasn't talking about anything.

[62] And I went to these other cities, and it was kind of like, I was kind of like finding my style, right?

[63] How many years have you been doing it at that time?

[64] I was probably doing, I started at 19, but I, you know, that's the college start.

[65] And then you, but I think I'm.

[66] I started doing the full time at 22, and I was probably 26, so maybe four years.

[67] Errigant, though.

[68] Like, you know, if I was your feature act, I knew, I always kept a time clock.

[69] Sometimes I would go long, but I would, but I was very proud of, like, if they said do 12, I would do 12.

[70] You know what I mean?

[71] That kind of thing.

[72] And I was getting standing ovations, but I wasn't talking about nothing.

[73] And then I started, like, doing these other states.

[74] And I was like, okay, fine.

[75] of it don't get don't get it so my objection my i really needed russell simmons to like me like you know what i mean he meant so much to the culture and to and he just when he just didn't see me i just was like damn years go by and it the the pain of it like diminishes but it's still kind of in there but it's you know it's like a marvel villain like i got a yeah i must uh but it kind of so then russell has another show and um i didn't even think i was going to get picked my only goal was just to make him laugh because he was at the audition and it was in New York I was living in New York he was there and Stan Latham was there and this is years later I found I knew who I was I knew what I was coming to say I didn't know if it was going to match their show and and what I'm saying is like Def Jam prided itself on raw like being raw you know what I mean and unlike you know a new voice and then I so I didn't fit like what they were selling you know uh so then when i saw russell was saying i do my act i see russell grab his stomach and go over so i'm i'm good if i get the show i get it if i don't get it i'm good i see stan leath and go i see them do the whisper i literally don't care if i i get the show i did what i set out to do right so all the other comics are staying back to schmooze and hey man like i left i left i didn't i end up getting the show and this is the show now when russell was sitting in the audience and their comics sitting up there and I'm doing my act and I was talking about HBO hung that show about white dude with a big dick for real that's what we're doing like that's where we had now and I did like the stereotype game and all this stuff and I did one joke and I remember Russell got up and gave me a pound in the middle of my set it was like a slow motion and you can see all the comics like and I was like so it was like the full circle of 24 year old me Yeah, beat it And then 32, 34 year old me maybe Russell was like, yo my man And then I would go You know Then I was doing yoga with him For a little bit But we never hung Post it was just like You know It was just like I don't know It was just like a full circle moment Call you and say I'm giving you this month For yoga Was it part of doing the show?

[76] How did that happen?

[77] No, he used to be at all deaf He had a he had had all deaf digital.

[78] So he moved here.

[79] And I think I went there to pitch him something.

[80] He was like, yo, you do yoga?

[81] You do yoga?

[82] You do you?

[83] And he just gave me a month free.

[84] And I was like, I'm going to take it.

[85] And so every morning I would wake up and drive.

[86] And I didn't know I was going to be in his class.

[87] Like Usher Raymond of being there.

[88] He was flexible as hell.

[89] Really?

[90] Incredible.

[91] Yeah, like all these people would be in there.

[92] And I was, I really started fight.

[93] Really?

[94] Have you ever seen him train?

[95] No. Usher has videos online of him training.

[96] at Black House, and he's legit.

[97] Wow.

[98] Like, he's a legit, skilled fighter.

[99] I believe it.

[100] Like, he's got, like, real good hands.

[101] He can throw kicks, everything.

[102] Yeah.

[103] He is probably the Kobe of R &B.

[104] Really?

[105] I feel like he outworks everybody.

[106] You know, when I saw him in yoga class, I was like, who else is doing this?

[107] Like, in your field, you know what I mean?

[108] Like, I don't know.

[109] Yoga is something you don't get any credit for doing.

[110] No. Because it's fucking hard as shit, But it seems like no big deal.

[111] Like if you say, oh, I ran seven miles today, people are like, whoa.

[112] Yeah, that's impressive.

[113] I did yoga today.

[114] They're like, bitch ass, what you're doing?

[115] Bitching with some old ladies.

[116] But it's real, but I felt so good when I was doing it.

[117] And I don't think I didn't tell anybody I was doing it.

[118] You know what I mean?

[119] Like my wife knew I was going.

[120] Yeah.

[121] But it is a personal thing.

[122] It's like golf, right?

[123] It's a personal.

[124] It's just you against your.

[125] body and russ you give me tips you know it's about breathing in difficult situations he would always say that i never forgot that it is about breathing yeah yeah it's about breathing that's what life is like life is going to give you difficult situations and if you don't remember to breathe you're fucked that's kind of like the whole the premise of it well i feel like we operate on a scale and the least difficulty you have in your life the more difficult it is to encourage counter real adversity.

[126] So when you give yourself voluntary difficulty, so I volunteer to work out hard, I volunteered to do Jiu -Jitsu, I volunteered to do yoga, I've pushed myself to do these things.

[127] When actual real -life difficulties come along, like, they're hard, but there's never a time in life where it's as hard as a 90 -minute yoga class.

[128] Wow.

[129] You're sweating like crazy.

[130] You barely can stand up.

[131] You're trying, your feet are cramping, your legs tramping.

[132] pouring sweat, pouring down on the mats.

[133] I mean, it's temporary.

[134] You know it's going to end in 40, 50 seconds, whatever the pose is.

[135] But that, to just hang in there is so hard that I think it prepares you for other things, other than, like, the loss of a loved one or something like that.

[136] That's impossible to prepare yourself for.

[137] But just bullshit stress.

[138] Right.

[139] Just regular life bullshit stress.

[140] Yoga class makes that stuff look like nonsense.

[141] If you're doing yoga on a regular basis.

[142] Yeah.

[143] Well, it was something, I'm consistently inconsistent.

[144] You know what I mean?

[145] But I'll go through a phase.

[146] So before the Russell thing, I went to a hot bickroom class.

[147] Yeah, that's what I do.

[148] So I went to a hot bick room.

[149] And this is when I was single.

[150] So I was basically just following the asses.

[151] Like, you know, we don't go.

[152] Y 'all going to go there.

[153] And I remember it was a big room and everything was chilling.

[154] You know, I literally had never done this at all.

[155] I was literally, I just, you know, I don't know why.

[156] I don't know why.

[157] And I just remember they closed all the windows and they stopped the fans.

[158] And it started getting really hot.

[159] And I was doing the poses and I was shaking.

[160] And like you said, sweating profusely.

[161] And the only thing I knew was it was supposed to be a place of no judgment.

[162] They kept going.

[163] It's your journey.

[164] It's yoga practice.

[165] No judgment.

[166] The lady had the little mic thing.

[167] And she came over to me and she covered it.

[168] And she whispered to me, are you all right?

[169] I was like, I'm feeling judged.

[170] I'm like, I'm really feeling judge right now.

[171] That's how awful I must have looked.

[172] I was just, like, I couldn't.

[173] And so I didn't really go back after that.

[174] My ego was bruised a little bit.

[175] And so I would do it at home sometimes.

[176] Preparing to go back?

[177] Trying to practice yoga, son, so I could not get judged.

[178] And when I left, like, she was like, the teacher was like on the cover of the magazine in front.

[179] I was like, damn, like, she.

[180] Legit.

[181] Like, yeah.

[182] And so.

[183] she did it, it was so funny, she was like, are you all right?

[184] I was like trying to show off for these girls, man, and it was terrible.

[185] It's fucking hard, man, and the reason why they ask you if you are all right, because sometimes people are not all right.

[186] Yeah.

[187] Like, I've seen people almost black out where they have to lay down.

[188] Oh, yeah.

[189] Because it's 105 degrees in there.

[190] And if you're not used to that kind of exercise in that kind of temperature, if you have, you know, if you're one of those people that just that stuff gets to you, You can handle it.

[191] Yeah, you can legitimately pass out.

[192] They don't need that.

[193] I remember, do you remember Ballies, Jim?

[194] Yeah.

[195] I remember.

[196] I used to live on, on, the valleys at the bottom of the hill and I belong to Ballies.

[197] And I would go, you know, I went through a period.

[198] I'm going when it opens.

[199] And so I went, I think it opened at six maybe.

[200] Damn, you were a six o 'clock in the morning guy.

[201] I did that for a minute.

[202] Get there.

[203] It's a line outside.

[204] How come we can't go in?

[205] And this lady, this lady's like, somebody is dead in the pool.

[206] it was a dead body like floating in the bally's and then I never forget this other lady goes Lisi got out his contract Like Not even Not even gave him a second No moment of silence Because bally's was notorious For not letting you out Yeah At least he got out his contract And then everybody still waited Well 24 hour fitness is the weirdest one They'll let you sign up for like 10 years For like a dollar a week They don't give a fuck They know you're not coming.

[207] Right.

[208] They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're helping you with your goals.

[209] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're going to get fit.

[210] You're going to get jacked.

[211] We're going to get ripped like Bobby over here.

[212] Look at Bobby.

[213] Bobby shows up every day.

[214] And you're like, wow, I'm going to be like Bobby.

[215] And then you just start eating chips, drinking soda, never show up.

[216] It's a, I wonder, like, what are the percentage?

[217] I wonder if we could find this.

[218] What are the percentages of members in 24 hours, 24 -hour fitness that actually go on a regular basis?

[219] I bet it's.

[220] That's a great hustle.

[221] They don't share that.

[222] They wouldn't share it.

[223] No way.

[224] You're probably right.

[225] No way.

[226] Because then people would go, why am I signing up for that?

[227] Yeah.

[228] That's a great hustle man. I did.

[229] I had a 24 -hour fitness for a moment.

[230] And then I would go and it would be so crowded, I would just go home.

[231] Sometimes it's real crowded.

[232] Yeah.

[233] I'm like, I can't even, I can't even do anything.

[234] Then some of them, like, you couldn't use all of them, too.

[235] You show and want.

[236] Oh, you don't have that member show.

[237] What are you talking about?

[238] Equinox is like that, too.

[239] Oh.

[240] I did Equinox for a second.

[241] This is a 24 -hour club sport.

[242] Yeah.

[243] Like, what?

[244] Yeah, I did Equinox for a second I got to play basketball with magic Really?

[245] Yeah, he was in there working out every morning Wow This when I was on Arsenio too So he just play a pickup game with people?

[246] No, I didn't, he would shoot around And I just kind of like Made myself like available on the court I'm just there When the ball went through the rim I went and got the rebound I gave it to him And he shot another one I got the rebound ago I always wanted to rebound for you And then I gave him a pass And he did the classic hook, and he goes, and now you got an assist.

[247] That's hilarious.

[248] And so, and then, because a lot of basketball players will come up there.

[249] And I'll look at him like, man, I'm glad I couldn't.

[250] Like, magic is huge, man. Like, have you seen him in person?

[251] No. He's huge.

[252] Huge.

[253] And I'm 6 '5.

[254] So, but his back is, it's like, I, like, I had hoop dreams until I played against Grand Hill in high school.

[255] Grand Hill is 6 '9.

[256] and it was a Christmas tournament and my mom was there and my girlfriend at the time a shout out to I'm married now but anyway my girlfriend at the time I was there and I had a rara section you know we were the home team and Grand Hill comes in and my coach had me chuckle and I never I guarantee you he won't remember this but it's this thing called a crossover right and most people if you cross over, I'm still in front of you.

[257] Grant was so long when he did put the ball from this hand to this hand, I had to literally slide two steps.

[258] And then when he'd been back, I had to slide back two steps.

[259] And when he went up here, there was no way I could get up there.

[260] And so I told my girlfriend, yo, go home.

[261] Like, y 'all don't need to see this.

[262] He scored like 60 points.

[263] He was shooting from half court.

[264] Like, he just looked at us like, I was like, I'm a dude well.

[265] school.

[266] That's how fascinating thing when you see someone who's a world -class athlete, the beginning of their journey.

[267] You know, this is in high school?

[268] High school.

[269] Yeah.

[270] Beginning of their journey.

[271] Yeah.

[272] Right?

[273] Because he's really just getting, becoming a man. Yeah.

[274] He's not even really a man yet.

[275] Nope.

[276] But you see already, like they have that jump.

[277] I'm sure Jordan was like that.

[278] I'm sure.

[279] Well, this wasn't Jordan like didn't make his high school team?

[280] Yeah.

[281] Isn't that crazy?

[282] Yeah.

[283] Who cut him?

[284] God.

[285] Yeah.

[286] You know that coach had to, when he went home that night, had a talk.

[287] to his wife, like, I think I made a terrible mistake.

[288] But he probably didn't realize it because of the time, Jordan probably...

[289] Well, Jordan is not the biggest guy in the world either, right?

[290] How tall is he?

[291] Is he 6 -4?

[292] He's 6 -6.

[293] He's 6 -6.

[294] But compared to some of those giants, like when they're standing in, like, Shaq is the most ridiculous human being I've ever met.

[295] He's incredibly strong.

[296] His hands are as big as his table.

[297] They just reach out and just swallow your arm.

[298] He's so big.

[299] He lives in my neighborhood.

[300] A word?

[301] Yeah.

[302] I did a commercial with him.

[303] It never aired.

[304] We did like a series of spots.

[305] and he was like a big kid man he was so fun he's a fun guy I did Fear Factor with him you did he did a whole episode with me where he came in because we did it in Orlando and so he was a fan so he brought his whole family down he had a bus he brought a tour bus to hang out in he's so fun and then he uh you know he did the thing three two one go and I'm standing next to him like a little six year old with my dad it's hilarious yeah but yeah there's people that are just different man they're just different level athletes and I bet Jordan as good as he was you know it probably he needed that rejection to turn that burner on yeah to make him Jordan yeah to make him focus yeah yeah and that's always gonna be a story that he was cut from his high school basketball team yeah I think he bought it up in his Hall of Fame speak oh I think so too the Hall of Fame speech when he kept shitting on all those all the writers you remembered all of them like probably you're Michael Jordan why even bringing these guys up nobody even cares wouldn't let it go but that's why he's so great Yeah.

[306] That burning fire.

[307] They would say that if you beat him at pool, he would hate you for two weeks until he'd play you again.

[308] Amazing.

[309] He used to have a pool tournament that he would do in Chicago every year, and it was for charity.

[310] So he'd have all these celebrities come and play pool with him.

[311] But, you know, he wasn't a good pool player.

[312] He was like, it was okay.

[313] But there's like real pool players out there.

[314] They'll fuck you up.

[315] And if he got beat, he would be furious, apparently.

[316] He just couldn't handle it.

[317] But that's the case with everyone who's great at something.

[318] They don't want to lose that shit.

[319] They don't want to lose that backgammon, part.

[320] cheesy you know is that healthy at a certain point no it's like yo mike turn that off it's so unhealthy yeah it's so unhealthy but that's what makes them great it's like there's there's a pro and a con to everything you know i have the saying that i've always said that greatness and madness are next door neighbors and they borrow each other's sugar you can't be great unless you're a little crazy and if you can't be the best ever unless you're out of your fucking mind.

[321] And Jordan's clear, when you see him in that, that speech when he's talking about the Hall of Fame, when he's talking about getting inducted and all the people that are wrong, all the people that, he's angry still.

[322] I mean, he's a crazy person.

[323] This is one of your great highlights as recognized the greatest basketball player of all time.

[324] Think about how many people have played basketball.

[325] Millions of people all over this country and millions of people around the world.

[326] There's one guy.

[327] Everybody says, who's the greatest basketball player?

[328] It's Michael, motherfucking Jordan, right?

[329] I mean, you've got your other people.

[330] You've got your dissenters who say, well, I think LeBron.

[331] This is this and that.

[332] I have a theory.

[333] I have a theory about that.

[334] I have a theory about that.

[335] So here's my thing.

[336] I feel like that's the wrong narrative.

[337] I feel like, so here's the, my friend and I, we were talking about what is greatness, right?

[338] Greatness is clearly the numbers and the accolades.

[339] the wins, but greatness is also being able to overcome great difficulty and still perform.

[340] And so adding that into the formula, I feel like, out of everyone that's a part of the conversation, LeBron is the only one who never met his dad.

[341] Like Jordan knew his dad, Kobe, rest in peace, his dad played in the NBA, Magic knew his dad, Kareem knew his dad.

[342] It's a thing, you know.

[343] LeBron, tallest dude in Akron, walking around every day.

[344] You see another tall dude, he had to be like, Dad, is it?

[345] You know what I mean?

[346] Like, just mentally, like, who taught him the game?

[347] Like, Jordan had these great teachers and all that.

[348] So I feel like the question should be, Michael Jordan is clearly the greatest of all time with two parents.

[349] But with one parent, LeBron is the greatest.

[350] And Kevin Duran is like a, coming up.

[351] That's an interesting way of looking at it.

[352] Just because it's different starting lines.

[353] But there's so many different variables that take place in your life from birth to death to just isolate one factor, like not having a father.

[354] Well, but I mean, it's like all of Jordan talked about when he got cut from his team, his dad was the one who pushed him.

[355] Like he was his greatest motivated.

[356] Like he had that.

[357] Like who was doing that for?

[358] LeBron.

[359] Who taught him the game?

[360] Like, Jordan went to NC State where Dean Smith was one of the greatest, you know.

[361] Everyone talks about Jordan's fundamentals.

[362] Where did LeBron learn this from?

[363] Who was teaching him this stuff?

[364] And so it's just a different space.

[365] And I relate to LeBron because I was raised by a single mom.

[366] So I recognized myself more in him than in Jordan.

[367] It's a very, you know, nuanced thing.

[368] But I feel like when people go, who's the greatest?

[369] I'm like, man, I do have two parents.

[370] Like, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah.

[371] That's funny.

[372] It's like if you.

[373] But what about motivation?

[374] The thing about having two parents versus one is there's something about having one parent that gives you this insane motivation to drive, this drive to succeed?

[375] That's a factor in a lot of people.

[376] There was a factor in me growing up because I didn't grow up with my dad.

[377] Yeah.

[378] Not knowing my dad.

[379] Talked to my dad since I was seven years old.

[380] Okay.

[381] So that and the fact that I knew him up until I was six and then didn't talk to him for the rest of my life.

[382] Yeah.

[383] That fuck with me. Yeah.

[384] And there's a part of that.

[385] There's a part of that that would make you like, I'll show you motherfuckers.

[386] Like you guys don't think I'm worth anything.

[387] I'll show you.

[388] Like there's something that like Mike Tyson had that.

[389] Like a lot of people had that.

[390] A lot of great athletes had terrible upbrings.

[391] And it's almost a positive factor.

[392] Right.

[393] You know, you could say that Jordan's dad was a positive factor, and that, that can work as well.

[394] But also, sometimes it could be a positive factor to be ignored.

[395] Having a difficult child that can actually be a positive factor.

[396] Oh, definitely.

[397] I mean, look, LeBron's a billionaire.

[398] Clearly, it was a positive factor.

[399] It worked out.

[400] But I'm definitely, it worked out.

[401] I'm just saying in the debate of who's the greatest.

[402] Yeah, I know what you're saying.

[403] I mean, it's different.

[404] But I'm saying there's two different ways that could go.

[405] Yeah.

[406] But it's also like, they're playing.

[407] in different eras.

[408] That's a, like, did you see the Tyson Fury Deontay Wilder fight?

[409] I saw clips.

[410] Holy shit.

[411] Oh my gosh.

[412] Were you there?

[413] No. No, I watched it at home.

[414] Holy shit.

[415] How big is Fury, though?

[416] 6 -7.

[417] Almost 300 pounds?

[418] No, 6 -9.

[419] Deontay's 6 -7, Fury is 6 -9.

[420] 6 -9, 270 pounds.

[421] And he just figured, he said he figured out in the first fight that Deonté, in the 12th round, he started back in Deontay up.

[422] Deontay can't fight backing up.

[423] because Deonte is a guy who pushes forward, and he's got this ridiculous power.

[424] Right.

[425] And everybody's scared of his power, so everybody's moving all the time.

[426] And Fury, he realized in the 12th round after Deonti knocked him down, almost knocked him out.

[427] He got up and started chasing Deonté, and Deonté fought sloppy.

[428] He said he looked awkward.

[429] He said his footwork didn't look so good.

[430] Technique.

[431] Yeah.

[432] Deontes is known as being this guy who's got an eraser.

[433] His right hands like an eraser.

[434] All the mistakes.

[435] Teddy Atlas put it this way.

[436] all the mistakes of the previous rounds all get erased with one punch it just shuts people's lights out and he has that confidence that he has that eraser power but with Tyson Fury realized like look Tyson doesn't fight that way Tyson Fury fights on his toes he sticks and moves he does a lot of head movement and a lot of a lot of like shucking and jiving and it makes it very difficult for you to figure out what he's doing like is he going here is he going there is he moving is he jabbing he'll come at you like this with two three fake jabs then a jab at a right hand he'll throw a right hand to the body.

[437] Then he'll throw a left uppercut.

[438] He'll step to the side of you.

[439] He'll throw a right hand.

[440] He'll move out of the way.

[441] He'll pop you with a jab as he's moving away.

[442] He's like a very technical, like really sophisticated boxer.

[443] If you look at the movement that he does for someone as big as him, it's really kind of crazy.

[444] And it's not that he couldn't step forward and smash people and knock people out.

[445] It's just he knows the sweet science.

[446] Yes.

[447] He knows the sweet science.

[448] But then he realized for this fight, he had to fight a different way.

[449] To shock Deonte, he had to come at Deonté full blast get in his face from the jump and that's exactly what he did.

[450] He also changed trainers and he went with Sugar Hill who's a Kronk trainer.

[451] Kronk is where Tommy Herns came from.

[452] You know, Gerald McClellan, some of the great knockout artists of the past and Kronk Jim from Emmanuel Stewart was known as being a very offensive style of fighting.

[453] They have heavy jabs.

[454] They don't touch you with the jab.

[455] They're smashing with a jab.

[456] Big power in the right hand.

[457] Like, Kronk was an attacking, aggressive style.

[458] Like, they were all known.

[459] Like, they would wear those Kronk shorts, those yellow golden shorts.

[460] You saw a guy with Kronk shorts on that motherfucker came to kill you.

[461] They fought in, when they were in the gym, Emmanuel Stewart would turn the heat up to 100 degrees.

[462] So when they were doing, they were doing like hot yoga in the fucking Kronk gym, because he wanted to build up endurance in these guys.

[463] So when you would go into the Kronk gym in Detroit, it was hot as fuck, like really hot, and that's how he forced everybody to train under extreme duress.

[464] He was an amazing, amazing training.

[465] He's the guy who rejuvenated Vladimir Klitsko.

[466] When Vladimir Klitschko, because he had gotten chaos a few times, he, his style just, he didn't have, like, an American style.

[467] He had this, like, sort of straight -up European style, and Emmanuel Stewart just shifted his style and just made him concentrate on utilizing that long reach and the big power, that long jab.

[468] So when Tyson Fury went with a cronk trainer for this, like he was dead serious.

[469] He was going for Seek and Destroyed.

[470] He told everybody that's what he was going to do too.

[471] But nobody believed him.

[472] Everybody thought it was just a hustle.

[473] Like him saying I'm going to knock out Deontay Wilde.

[474] I'm going to come after him.

[475] I'm going to knock him out in two rounds.

[476] Everybody's like, you're out of your fucking mind.

[477] Even Deonti was like, you don't believe a word you're saying.

[478] You're just talking.

[479] You You're not going to try to knock me out.

[480] That's exactly what he did.

[481] He figured out the puzzle.

[482] He figured out the puzzle.

[483] In the 12th round of the first fight, he just realized when he had him backing up.

[484] He's like, oh, this guy stumbles on his feet.

[485] He gets all awkward and he got him backing up.

[486] Yeah.

[487] So he just stuck to him like glue.

[488] He took that out.

[489] That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

[490] I want to start fighting, man. No, no. My son needs to know.

[491] I want to talk to you about, first I want to thank you because you've been.

[492] been very kind about just promoting my stand -up in this platform.

[493] Oh, you're welcome.

[494] Dude, I'm a huge fan.

[495] Thank you, man. You don't make any sense to me. I know.

[496] You are one of the best comics in the world.

[497] And the fact that people don't know who you are, you should be filling arenas.

[498] So this is what I'm doing.

[499] I made something, and I want to give it to your viewers so they can watch it and judge for themselves if they just go to text owen .com.

[500] Textoan.

[501] Textoan .com.

[502] I'll send you some never -before -seeing.

[503] stand -up of mine if you if you if you if you fuck with it then we see what happens i check back with you a little bit later oh there we go yeah you go to that you're doing uh the improv with me wednesday right i am i am late show but uh yeah come hit me with that i'll text you back and then after this podcast see how many people whatever and i'm gonna send you some never -before -seeing stand -up if you haven't seen me not for me with me and uh dude it's kind of break your phone hey man i that's that's my prayer you know what i mean because uh you you don't understand understand the the your your your your kind words how it's uh effect affected my life in a great way uh is i felt like vladimir clitsko basically as far as like comedy is concerned and then when you would be like dude you're just it i'm like for real well it doesn't it doesn't make sense to me i know great comics you know most comics when they get to your your level they're famous they're famous for being really great comics well i see you on stage like I was watching the last time we worked together.

[504] And I forget who I was standing in the back of the room talking to, but I was like, this doesn't even make any sense.

[505] I mean, he's so good.

[506] He should be headlining arenas.

[507] Like, oh, yeah.

[508] It's true.

[509] It's like your comedy is so polished and so.

[510] And I was talking to Tony about it.

[511] I was Tony Hinchcliff.

[512] We were in the back watching once.

[513] I was like, look how economy of words.

[514] Like, you use just the right amount of words.

[515] Like, you have to fill in the blank.

[516] You make people fill in the blank sometimes, and it makes things even funnier like that's that's all black belt shit man it's like you just spent so much time writing you know and writing for sitcoms and writing for movies and I know it's been very lucrative for you and it's it's great and you know you're a great writer there's no question about it but you're a world -class stand -up thank you man thank you thank you everybody go to text own dot com because I'm serious man because it's like you know how the business changed and you know I thought that if you just had quality work that you know it would and then it's it's it's just changed to something that I the TV shit all went away it all went away and so um so we'll see we'll see I'm putting myself out there well you got to get a special that's all it's gonna take for you yeah on a platform that people watch yeah Netflix someone's gonna step up yeah that would be great you know um and so we'll see but I just wanted I wanted to thank you and my pleasure see what happens hopefully yeah break my phone y 'all i want to i want to experience that right right because comedy central is i mean comedy central is great i owe them a debt of gratitude they put my special out in 2014 and 2009 yeah but the reality is it's like it's just not the same anymore people aren't watching it like they used to watch it yeah they lost the public trust somewhere yeah well they put out a lot of bullshit shows yeah you know yeah they're micromanaging things there's a lot of people that are scared of anything controversial yeah somebody told me they fired a lot of people over there but you know you hear that and we'll see We'll see what's happening next.

[517] Listen, they passed on Kyle Dunnigan's show.

[518] Kyle Dunnigan, so funny.

[519] He, that fucking shit that he does with face swap is the funniest shit on Instagram.

[520] He is the funniest man on Instagram.

[521] And there's a lot of funny shit on Instagram.

[522] But his shit, like, makes me cry.

[523] I cry sometimes watching this stuff.

[524] Yeah, he's so talented.

[525] He's a talented, creative guy.

[526] And the fact that they didn't pick that show up is, but I knew they were fucking it up already because he showed me this one clip.

[527] It was Caitlin, you know, he does everything with face swap.

[528] ops, right?

[529] He had Caitlin Jenner on top of Donald Trump, fucking Donald Trump, and it was hilarious, man. He shows it to me in the back room and the main room.

[530] I'm crying.

[531] Tears are coming down my eyes.

[532] We're laughing so hard, and he goes, and get this.

[533] Communist Central passed on that.

[534] I go, what?

[535] I know.

[536] He said, we can't do that one.

[537] They said, we can't do that one.

[538] It's too controversial.

[539] I go, controversial.

[540] That's what you do.

[541] Everything you do is controversial.

[542] But it's so obvious that it's fake.

[543] It's funny because it's like South Park.

[544] like you fucking dummies what is your most successful show South Park what does that show do they don't give a fuck they go all out South Park has no boundaries and it's one of the reasons why it's the greatest comedy show ever you that's the thing that's the thing about creating and depending on invisible people to approve it or get it because you don't know where the nose coming from like what you just said is an impassioned argument if you could sit down with the decision maker and go and just talk about it yes maybe his show would have gone but you like you don't know who anybody is you write it you know you just go this is good you know and uh it's so hard because there's the people that are watching it and then judging whether or not they're going to put it on television first of all they're not creative people if they were they would be doing what you're doing yeah they're executives yeah and they think they're smart they think they understand comedy and they also don't want to get fired they also don't want to get in trouble and they also want to sell ads there's so much fuckery going on yeah you know what i wish i knew i wish i knew what their man they call it mandates like what their mandates are or what they're dealing with just so that because you get excited about something and you push and you go this is what i want to do and it is sometimes you go oh man i don't think they're considering the actual audience no sometimes so i don't but i you know i don't know what they're considering you know and it can drive you It can drive you crazy.

[545] They're also seriously worried about woke culture.

[546] They want to make sure, like, I've had friends.

[547] They wanted to pitch things.

[548] They're like, where's the diversity?

[549] You know, we need a trans, biracial woman in this.

[550] We needed this.

[551] We needed that.

[552] Like, hey, just concentrate on making it good.

[553] Just make it good.

[554] You know, I think your diversity should be everybody who's good.

[555] Find people who are good.

[556] Don't exclude them because they're gay or trans or whatever.

[557] But don't include them because they are if they're not talented.

[558] Because that's not good.

[559] You just need good.

[560] You know, it would be nice if it was easy for all those people of all different backgrounds to get up in stand -up comedy clubs and then get their career going.

[561] And I don't know any situation.

[562] I mean, I'm so far removed from open mics.

[563] It's hard for me to talk about it anymore.

[564] We should do one.

[565] We should.

[566] We should.

[567] Let's film it.

[568] Oh, we do new shit.

[569] Hey, whatever happened to that thing we did were you with the notebooks.

[570] That was hilarious.

[571] I don't believe I found those.

[572] Dude, it was great.

[573] It was great.

[574] And I was, I was thinking and giving that to people when they text Owen .com.

[575] So I shot six, edited four, and took it around town.

[576] A lot of people didn't get it, a lot of nose.

[577] The people who loved it the most was all things comedy.

[578] And they were like, we want to, you know, take this out.

[579] But I was partnered with somebody at the time.

[580] I had a manager at the time that they didn't connect with.

[581] So it kind of went away.

[582] And my wife, we were just talking about this.

[583] like this should be on TV like it's such a clean simple fun idea well it should be on YouTube it should be yeah that was my initial plan my initial plan was to put it on YouTube now um I don't know I just I just somebody else own it no me it's all me it's all me on my IP and all right I put it on YouTube were you uh were you like supported or tag it or something I don't know how that stuff works man you like you like a genius back there like why is he you understand man I'm so afraid of uh I'm not afraid of no. I just got to get the first gut punch and then I'll keep going.

[584] You understand what I'm saying?

[585] Like, something weird happened, man. My younger self, everything people are doing on Instagram, I did when I was 18, 19, 20, then you get a little bit older.

[586] You're like, I don't know, what's this tape?

[587] What's going on?

[588] But when I, when I, when this idea - About TikTok.

[589] Yes, so here you go.

[590] So when this idea came to me, I thought, I can't think of the, I think his name is Chase Jarvis.

[591] I was looking at Chase Jarvis.

[592] I never heard of this guy, but I used to watch his interviews, and he was always sponsored by, you know, something very cool.

[593] He's a photographer, and he had his own show.

[594] He shot it, like, in his home, and he would only average, like, 50 ,000 views.

[595] I'm like, how was this guy doing this?

[596] But I thought notebooks could be something like that that would speak to comedy fans, but my whole intention was to, because I felt like stand -up was being, like, homogenized.

[597] like because when you would just do some of these shows the set was built and you would just stand there and perform but it was no way of an audience member to go I want to follow this guy I want to come see see this woman and this guy live so I thought notebooks the show we're talking about it's called notebooks and it's basically every comic the one thing comics never throw away is the old notebooks so I would sit I sat down with Joe I sat down with some other comics I couldn't believe I found those wasn't it fun man and you start going through it and you I was what you got to see that you watch Joe go back to where he was when he was, like, performing it.

[598] I could see it on your face.

[599] I could see you, like, remember, like, where you wrote this stuff, where you came up with it.

[600] And it's just, I don't know, it just shows that this isn't, like, we make it look easy, but it's, like, it shows the journey.

[601] It's also, like, a way of, like, appreciating, like, because sometimes we're hard on ourselves.

[602] It's like, damn, man, I, you know what I mean?

[603] Like, and there's funny stories where you're like, I thought this bit was going to make me. This was going to shut it down.

[604] This was my bring the pain, you know.

[605] Right.

[606] And then we had a, right, right, right.

[607] I mean, it's just, and because I can listen to a comedian and tell how long they've been doing it, you know.

[608] And I wanted to, I got to this place where I don't believe anybody sucks.

[609] I just believe they haven't found it yet.

[610] And I'm interested in like.

[611] Let me tell you something.

[612] There's some people that suck.

[613] I need to say that.

[614] I don't get confused.

[615] Don't get confused.

[616] You can't grow plants in the sand.

[617] You just did yoga today.

[618] Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[619] There's a reality of, there's a reality.

[620] But I mean, but we became, we got into this space where now you'll watch, people post everything online, so you're watching them.

[621] Like, I have videos of me in San Antonio, Texas in 1996.

[622] Not great, but it's on a VHS tape in my basement, you know what I mean?

[623] People are watching you grow.

[624] Right, people watch.

[625] But now that would be on YouTube and people would be like, so when I did hit, some people would be like, well, I can't stand on from something that they saw.

[626] You know what I mean?

[627] It was like, I was figuring it out, man. I didn't know.

[628] I thought fart jokes were funny and I did them, you know, but.

[629] You can't worry about that, though.

[630] Yeah, yeah.

[631] That's, that's, you just got to worry about what you're doing right now.

[632] Yeah, so I'm going to put it out.

[633] You can never worry about what you did.

[634] All right.

[635] I'm going to put it on notebooks.

[636] I'm putting notebooks out on YouTube.

[637] And, uh, do we found, I found some shit from 1991.

[638] Right.

[639] It was fanatastic.

[640] So, all right.

[641] So, all right.

[642] The writing was so bad.

[643] It was great, but that's what was crazy.

[644] And you were embarrassed when you were reading it.

[645] It was fantastic.

[646] But it just, I hadn't read it.

[647] I knew I had it.

[648] So I grabbed it and I brought it to you.

[649] But I hadn't looked at it before you and I were sitting there.

[650] That's the point.

[651] Yeah.

[652] So when I was going through it, I was like, oh, my God, this is so bad.

[653] The thing about, like, my 23 -year -old self writing jokes.

[654] It's the best.

[655] And sometimes you find a gym where you go, damn.

[656] That might be good.

[657] Yeah.

[658] You know, some bit you bailed on.

[659] We're like, you're it now.

[660] So, you know, I know how to make this work.

[661] Right.

[662] You can have a, you know, we had some people.

[663] you know connect with that and what I love about it is comics aren't burning material right so I feel like everyone uh can can do the show uh I mean I prefer to have somebody that's you know gotten their 10 ,000 hours in and so we can have like you know those stories and it's just an interesting way in I loved it I loved it so much but my initial my point is I was like I want to do this for YouTube but then I was like maybe it's a maybe there's a televised play for this and three years years later.

[664] Yeah, I think nothing is worth bringing to TV anymore.

[665] Yeah.

[666] It's just not worth it anymore.

[667] Just you're getting to deal with too many people.

[668] You don't need to deal with them.

[669] They're not going to have good things.

[670] Half the people, and this is generous, half the people that you deal with that are executives really don't give a fuck about anything other than their mortgage or their car or their career or getting respect or office politics.

[671] They might be working at Comedy Central.

[672] they could easily be working at the history channel or easily working at some other fucking network They're just TV network people Here I am trying to create a platform For some of my friends who I feel like Why don't you have a following?

[673] You know what I mean?

[674] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[675] And I'm like, if people just saw your work ethic Like how you write your job, people would be like, I like you know I like you now, I understand what this is And I felt that that's what was missing From all these specials Where people just stand in a spot And everybody has the same background They just changed the name.

[676] No, you know, no shade on that.

[677] But it's like very few people were popping off that.

[678] And so much so people thought I had one of those.

[679] Like, did I tell you, did I ever tell you my comedy central story?

[680] No. So, okay.

[681] So I'm going to name -checking people on here, but I literally, I, but I'm not doing it for, it's all good.

[682] Like, I learned a lot from this experience.

[683] So George Carlin was performing at, Homosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club.

[684] I go down and watch George Call and perform.

[685] This would be his last special.

[686] At the time, Kimber Rickenball, who did was Rick Mill Productions, she comes over to me, and she goes, why don't we have a half hour on you?

[687] And I go, I don't know.

[688] She gives me her card, and she says, give me 21 minutes, and we'll, you know, we'll make it happen.

[689] Or she alluded to that it would happen.

[690] And so I'm standing next to the guy who books Hamosa Beach.

[691] And I go, yo, can I get 21 minutes?

[692] He's like, no. I can't.

[693] I could just give you seven, eight minutes.

[694] So I had to do like three, seven minutes and pieces together.

[695] I went to the improv.

[696] Can I get 21 minutes?

[697] I went to the laugh actor.

[698] Can I get 21 minutes?

[699] I got this car.

[700] No one will give me 21 minutes.

[701] And so I had to go out of town.

[702] I think I went to Chicago somewhere, taped it, got it back.

[703] At the time I'm writing on Everybody Hates Chris.

[704] Dave Becky and Michael Rotenberg were managed Chris Rock at the time and they were also producers on the show so they would come down once a month and sit in the video village and just you know and so I was politicking I go man if I can get Dave Becky to contact Kimber Rickenball maybe I can get with three arts because I had no manager and three arts sexy you know management name and so Ali LaRoy the showrunner was also managed by three arts he was kind enough He was just like, he just did like this day you know man Listen to this motherfucker And then just kept like So I was like Dave, Mr. Becky What's up man Kimber Rickenball Gave me the car Said if I can give her 21 minutes You know It's probable I'll get a half hour special I was wondering if I could do that Through you And he goes Say no more I rep Kimber Rickenball Done So at that time I booked a lot of colleges So I am on Cloud 9 I'm about to get a half hour special Woo I had a I did a car had a gig for a college that night.

[705] So I catch the red eye to Iowa, right?

[706] Ames, Iowa.

[707] I'm performing in Ames, Iowa.

[708] Yikes.

[709] Get to the hotel room the next morning, phone call on my cell phone, is Dave Becky.

[710] I'm corny.

[711] I go, help, this is going to be the start of us doing this a lot.

[712] You know what I was doing?

[713] He just cut that shit off.

[714] Yeah, Owen, talk to Kimber and she says she never heard of you.

[715] And I was like, what?

[716] I thought, I was like, you hazing me, right?

[717] No, sorry, man. luck man all right talk to you boop hung up and i was like what and it never dawned to me to call kimber and be like hey like i was so floored by that oh no yeah it was like a gut punch and then check this out i showed about the college i didn't have a college gig the contract wasn't finalized so i flew the iron for nothing lost money car rental car hotel dana had to drag my dumb tail back to LA, no special on her right.

[718] And again, I didn't even, I didn't even know like, and that's why I said I could say her name because I never did that part, right?

[719] So like, maybe I could have called him and hey, do, do, do she'd be like, oh my God, so sorry.

[720] I didn't even think that.

[721] I went into, I was having like a pity party on the set of everybody.

[722] He's Chris.

[723] Ernest Thomas tells me, man, don't wait on Hollywood to give you permission to be great.

[724] And that's why I shot my first special.

[725] I took all my college money.

[726] So I did all that and said, just calling this woman and like, hey, something weird.

[727] And so that's how I ended up like shooting the first special anonymous.

[728] That is so crazy that she said she didn't even know you.

[729] Never heard of them.

[730] But meanwhile, you had her card.

[731] Had it and didn't use it.

[732] That's why it's like, it's not, I don't feel like it's shade on her.

[733] It's like I'm talking about.

[734] And if it's any comments, this and like, yo, call them.

[735] Like, you know what I mean?

[736] I'm just, sometimes it's a part.

[737] art of that world and not being all in and stand up and being in that writing world yeah that's too yeah that's i didn't that's i'm saying the same shit to him forever i'm like you're stop taking those jobs man you're too good you're too good yeah man yeah and i and i we started out together man i've known i for 20 27 28 years i'm known him forever dude forever i and i used to do boston comedy New York City in the village.

[738] Yeah, yeah.

[739] I remember, dreadlock Ian.

[740] Yeah, I remember I'd seen him on death to him.

[741] Before he used to yell.

[742] Yeah, before he went vegan, he used to yell.

[743] He calmed down when he was vegan.

[744] Yeah, AT &T.

[745] Angry Ian.

[746] Angry Ian.

[747] What's up?

[748] Bumba clot.

[749] Yeah.

[750] And I remember I saw him and he was the coolest to me. I was like, yo man, you're a comedian.

[751] I'm a comedian.

[752] He was like, oh, what you're doing now?

[753] Nothing.

[754] Come with me. And he took me to.

[755] like a general meeting that he had and then we went to two sets and I never forget I never forget he performed he performed in like a white room it was crushing and I said to him hey man that was amazing it was great he goes I didn't trust them laughing way too I don't trust that I'm saying yo I never heard that before I never heard that but I was like what that was a goal And trust him.

[756] That's hilarious.

[757] Yeah, but he was so kind to me that is like just showing that generosity in a space where he didn't have to.

[758] You have people.

[759] Like, you know, I mean, he's a classic human.

[760] Class, yeah.

[761] I love him.

[762] I love that dude of death.

[763] I always take pictures of him every time he falls asleep because he's, you know, he's vegan.

[764] Oh, he's tired.

[765] So we get on a plane together.

[766] And I don't mean there's vegans out there that are eating well.

[767] Right.

[768] He does not.

[769] He just eats vegan, but that means like all it is is a piece of bread.

[770] he'll eat a piece of bread he'll eat some rice he's not it doesn't get all his nutrients he just doesn't you know he doesn't exercise either but whenever one of playing that motherfucker passes it out so i take all these pictures of him every time we go on the road together when he's sitting next to go to me every time he passes out we're on the runway this dude is nodded out always then he got me he got me recently he got me he caught it it's just giant smile i've never seen him smile that well do you see the video of it there's a video of it on Instagram.

[771] He got me and he's just got this huge smile and I'm out cold and he's sitting next to me and now every time I fly with him I'm scared of blacking out I'm scared to fall to sleep.

[772] He's gonna get a video of me. That's hilarious.

[773] I woke up like he was asleep, I woke up next to me and he was asleep and I was asleep and I wanted to film me while I was asleep before he went to sleep.

[774] That's the fun of shit when it's like that.

[775] It's like spy shit.

[776] Yeah, yeah.

[777] Hello Joe.

[778] Yeah, but dude the video of him hovering over me while I'm out colds.

[779] I got to see it.

[780] I never laughed so hard.

[781] I landed and I checked my Instagram and I saw that.

[782] I just started fucking howling.

[783] Man. It's so funny.

[784] That's so funny.

[785] I wish you could one time I was giving him like smoothie recipes because he was like asking about that stuff and Ian is like incredibly frugal.

[786] It's so funny.

[787] And I was like, all right, so what you want to do is you want to take strawberry banana.

[788] You can take a protein.

[789] You could take, you know, da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[790] You want some green stuff tonight.

[791] He goes, or I could just eat a banana.

[792] Yeah, I mean, but that's kind of like defeating the purpose.

[793] You want to, you know, it's really, eh.

[794] And so I think he's doing smooths and stuff now.

[795] But back then, I just remember, I was like, huh?

[796] Like, I just gave you this whole recipe.

[797] I could just eat a banana and it's cheaper, you know, that was his whole thing.

[798] Cheaper?

[799] That's what it is?

[800] I think that was, I don't know, but I was just like.

[801] He needs protein powder and his whole recipe.

[802] It's so funny, man. So, yeah.

[803] So I grew up in Prince George's County, Maryland, right?

[804] And a lot of comedians come from there.

[805] Chappelle, I have a great Chappelle's story because we're the same age.

[806] So when I was 19, and I just started, Green Bell Comedy Connection.

[807] What I loved about Chappelle, I'm bringing this up because it's Mark Twain Awards.

[808] He gave a shout out to.

[809] a guy named Tony Woods.

[810] So Tony Woods is also from the D .C. area.

[811] And so at 19, I'm in this comedy club, Greenbelt Comics, a black room.

[812] Chappelle is on stage, and he's getting booed.

[813] And his dismount off getting booed is something I've never seen before in my life.

[814] It was fantastic.

[815] He's like, fuck y 'all.

[816] I'm going to be famous.

[817] I'm going to be famous.

[818] Like, you just kept saying that.

[819] It just walked off.

[820] and when he walked off I was like I was like oh my god they booed him like in my head I'm like if they booed him I don't stand a chance in comedy because like what just happened but when he walked by nobody wanted to touch him because he had that that bomb on him so even I was like yeah damn hey hey man and he and he and he had that sweet bomb on him that bomb yes and he sits down in the booth right here and I just can't stop looking at him because I'm watching you know how they say the stages of grief like I'm watching the stages of them and I keep thinking why doesn't he leave and he's sitting there and Tony Woods goes on stage next and Tony Woods is like wow man God damn like just kind of a similar cadence and Tony just destroys got a standing ovation like night and day and I'm just 19 just nude like absorbing this and I go what the fuck just happened Tony walks off stage as a comic I'm just kind of like eavesdropping like I think I'm 5 -7 but I'm fucking 6 -5 but I'm just trying to like look at what they're going to do next and they get up together and they walk out I kind of just follow them out thinking I don't know what's going to happen to me but hey kid want to hang with us I don't know they get in the same car and it's like I think it was a hashback I'm not sure and Tony drop off.

[821] I'm like, whoa, they came together.

[822] And I, that was all I knew of that, of that relationship.

[823] And so, and I, and I, I knew that Tony had been doing it a lot longer, and I knew that Dave, it's kind of like how when Kobe came into the league and was talking like Mike, and then Kobe leaned into who Kobe was.

[824] Became who yes.

[825] Yes, you know, I speak Italian, I'm speaking Italian, I speak like this, these are the things that are important to me. And so you watched Dave do that separate from Tony, but what I love about what Dave did, and this is why he's great, is he had, he recognized Tony in his greatest, like, comedic moment.

[826] Like, it's the most honest thing you can do.

[827] You know what I mean?

[828] Like, most people would be like, I did this all me, but he was like, and what he said about Tony could not have been truer, you know what I mean?

[829] And so it just, like, touched my heart, because I was there at the epicenter when I was watching Dave figure it out.

[830] And it was probably like, and it was like, and the material he was doing it just didn't connect with it was a blue collar um black crowd and he i think he was doing like the superhero stuff like man uh you know wonder woman's magic lasso i don't hear that magic lasso shit like it was just it was just that it wasn't like it wasn't funny because to me i'm a 19 year old i thought this shit was hilarious so that's the other thing i felt like am i wrong like i'm laughing and you hear boo boo boo like i was like oh shit i can't help you dave like It's just, and he, uh, and he, and he, and he, and he came down, and then like a couple of, I feel like, six months later, I saw him on HBO or something like, it's like, so I was like, damn, he didn't let it stop him.

[831] And so I learned like all these lessons just sitting in the back of a comedy club, Donnell Rollins, who might come in and interrupt us.

[832] no he uh he uh he too was it's from that area and uh yeah man and i remember and donnell like you know you know people talk about coming when he was on stage um people were saying he spoke korean he did i was like yeah damn who is this dude and he was the first comic i ever saw command an audience and i thought the audience because i was again 19 like i had done comedy more than five times and i hear the audience go do the aspirin bit and he would do his bit of about Aspen, that would be hilarious.

[833] Do the bike bit.

[834] And he would do this bit about not getting anybody.

[835] And I thought, I thought this motherfucker had, like, the audience had, like, request, you know what I mean?

[836] I was like, how great is this dude?

[837] Like, they know his work and they're requesting it.

[838] But years later, I didn't know that those were, like, comics.

[839] Like, maybe.

[840] It might have been comics or it might have been his, but he always had, like, he was just so amazing.

[841] So I had all these references early on.

[842] as like where you can take the art form you know and how fearless it was and then i went out to south bend uh where i it was just completely different like i was in college you know and but i but i had all this like these mental downloads of like uh of just how these different styles that hadn't really touched like the midwest comedy scene it's so funny when you're starting out too because you're trying to figure out like what style's going to work yeah do i change do a shit Yeah.

[843] Like, who am I?

[844] I went through all of that.

[845] Everybody does.

[846] You have to.

[847] And that's, again, it's bringing it back to what notebooks is.

[848] Like, I want to know what your, what your particular thing was.

[849] Like, I know what mine was, but all of ours is different.

[850] Yeah.

[851] But we all play the same, it's like we play the same sport, but we all play it different ways.

[852] And I love that shit.

[853] Like, so yeah, it's ironic that you bought that show up because I was like, should I bring that up?

[854] Yeah, you should bring it up.

[855] Yeah, I was so honored.

[856] that you said you would do it too I was happy to do it.

[857] And I saw those no -buses, oh shit, that's hilarious.

[858] You had the legal pad action.

[859] It's so old, too.

[860] It's just amazing that I kept them.

[861] Yeah, we do.

[862] You can't.

[863] I'm stuck some of them.

[864] Yes.

[865] And I'm sure there was certain, several times when you were urged to throw them away.

[866] Yeah.

[867] My wife was trying to throw them away.

[868] I go, no. Yep.

[869] That's what gave me the idea.

[870] My wife was trying to toss my mind.

[871] No, what are you talking about?

[872] No, fucking way.

[873] Those are going to be worth something someday.

[874] Yeah.

[875] And also when I was going through them was always thinking like maybe one day I'll find a gym.

[876] There's a gem in here, just a premise.

[877] Just a weird premise.

[878] It's in there.

[879] But it's so hard to get that discipline, like, to literally go through it.

[880] You know what I mean?

[881] How do you write?

[882] Do you sit in front of a computer and write?

[883] Do you write in front of a notebook?

[884] That's a great question.

[885] Or do you have good ideas?

[886] Good ideas.

[887] So what I do, you know what I started doing?

[888] And I'm going to do a podcast, too.

[889] It's going to be called In Context with Owen Smith.

[890] Because what I started doing is I started reading a newspaper more.

[891] And whenever I read the newspaper, my brain, fucking explodes with a whole bunch of just ideas.

[892] Newspaper.

[893] Yeah, a fucking newspaper.

[894] I like, I like holding it.

[895] But now, but now I just, I'm getting myself to doing the online stuff just because it's, it's just more practical.

[896] Because every time I go to get the paper, like, it's not, it's, I always feel so funny when I'm holding the newspaper now.

[897] Like, what is this?

[898] I know.

[899] What are you, Captain America?

[900] Where are you frozen in the 50s?

[901] What are you doing?

[902] Yeah.

[903] Yeah, but I like, because you can see the words and you can see, like, they use specific word choice, and my brain just starts going, damn, that's what.

[904] But my act isn't that, right?

[905] My act is more personal, but just Chris Rock told me something a long time ago.

[906] He said, I don't suffer from, what is it when you can't think of anything?

[907] Writer's block.

[908] Yeah, I don't suffer from writer's block.

[909] I suffer from readers' block.

[910] I was like, oh, shit.

[911] And he read, he, and, and D .O. Hugley told me a long time ago, if you read the newspaper every day, that's equivalent to having a master's, you know.

[912] No, it's not.

[913] Well, that's GED logic, man. But I was like, but I was like, you have to write papers?

[914] You have to, like, do serious research and take exams.

[915] Listen, when he said it to me, I was like, it's hilarious.

[916] Okay, you know, but I didn't know he had his GED.

[917] There's no shade of D, but I was like, Like that stayed with me So I was like So I would always try to like read a whole newspaper It depends on what paper too The New York Post You gotta go back You gotta go back You gotta go back You gotta hear that's hilarious You're gonna slide back to fifth grade That's hilarious That newspaper is hilarious I love the New York Post Every time I read it They're just shitting on people It's fantastic It's like it's not a tabloid But it is It is but it's really the news But they talk shit And it's funny It's funny New York Post said I grab that every time I'm back in New York on the shit man yeah it was uh so so i've always tried to but you know like shit to come to me in my sleep conversations and for me it's about finding what is the right i don't feel like there's i feel like where's the best place for this joke to live you know what i mean is this a stand -up joke could i get more traction out of this if it's a sketch you know what i mean um and then if it is a How can I still make it sing as a stand -up joke?

[918] And what's fun for me is if I do something, then I'll revisit it, and I can do it like a lot cleaner and clearer, and it starts.

[919] Then I get excited because then I can play.

[920] Because that's the other thing.

[921] Sometimes when you write, you forget to play.

[922] But I remember, like, I think I saw Bill Maher or somebody like that performing.

[923] He, you know, he kind of just stands there.

[924] And so I saw him come off stage one time, and he was like, man, that fucking audience.

[925] you know sucked and uh and i and i was thinking to my head like i wouldn't say to him but i was like man you just forgot to play like you for right you know you all your shit was fire but it was you're not having fun yeah sometimes you know and so when i watch a show when i could see he's playing it's like uh yeah it's and so you forget that you forget you forget that i mean shit he's up to deadlines he's got to do all that stuff but when i saw him live that day i go oh he was he was trying to figure it out still so he didn't have the little the the the the so it's all those little things.

[926] And so sometimes I could be too hard on myself trying to get it, like, technically, technically right.

[927] And when I just remember to play, this shit is so fun, you know what I mean?

[928] It's about creating moments and you forget all of that.

[929] But for me, I'm always trying to, I'm always, I don't know, man, I'll hear shit, I'll see shit.

[930] I'm like, what is that?

[931] Like, so, like, so right now it's Black History, Mom.

[932] All this stuff about Martin of the King.

[933] but my head went to yo this dude the FBI bugged like they listened to all of his stuff and so now I'm thinking about the guys listening to MLK like you couldn't all be civil rights like they I wonder if he turned any of them you know like they're listening like it's got a good point right right I kind of agree with this though you know or they'd be like so that's how you make potato salad you know what I mean like just listening to whatever many people you think were assigned to listen to him i'm fascinated with that and like i wonder that's a weird relationship so weird relationship and you're getting like you're getting a peek into the world of somebody you're told is this one thing and what if you you know you hear something you just don't agree like i'm fascinated with stuff like that so i try to like figure out if you can make that funny sure and that's where great bits come from and they come from that uncertainty like okay where is it where i know there's something in that yeah there is something in some FBI, some square FBI dude.

[934] Listen to Martin Luther King.

[935] Yeah.

[936] He's like, oh injustice anyway.

[937] Yeah, there's a, there's a thing that he could say that would turn him.

[938] Yeah.

[939] So I play with stuff like that.

[940] So sometimes one of my favorite comedians I have a whole bunch, but comedians that always get to me are people that when I go, I didn't know comedy could do that.

[941] So I remember when I heard Dick Gregory on.

[942] It's an album called Dick Gregory on.

[943] And he was the first black millionaire to do stand up.

[944] And he has a great book.

[945] He has a book called Nigger, but his best book, I wouldn't say best, but my favorite book of his is called The Shadow That Scares Me. And it's really him like giving solutions to all of these like problems that are, you know, that were in the narrative at that time about black folks.

[946] And I just was, I was amazed at his writing.

[947] And I was blown away by his stand -up some of the social commentary he would make, right?

[948] And I was like, oh man, I want to do some of that.

[949] So I used to, that was back in my 30s when I was trying to solve the race problem.

[950] You know what I mean?

[951] I was like, I ain't fucking my dad no more.

[952] Like, that's out my system.

[953] Like, but I used to, because I was still in the orbit of the bring the pain, like, oh, I got to have my.

[954] And I, and it just, I was like, it's not really changing the world, man. making some points but I kind of like backed away because I used to do this bit about being at a rap concert buster rhymes and there's all white folks and I'm there and he goes all my real niggas make some noise and everybody made noise and just like me and like the two other black people the lockout I was like yo there's something hilarious in that too like are you allowed to do that?

[955] Right right You can't say it, but can you cheer?

[956] Right.

[957] And so then I go, maybe they didn't hear him.

[958] But in hip -hop, you say everything twice.

[959] So he said it again, like I said, all my real niggas make some noise.

[960] And so I was like, man, not only, I was like white people are niggers now.

[961] This is what I was saying.

[962] I was doing this shit like in Milwaukee, Appleton, Wisconsin.

[963] And I'll go, and not only can we call them, nigga, they're paying $80 for the, privilege to be called $80 a ticket And I would go, white folks Tonight I call you nigger for 10 $10 nigger sale, nigger clearance cash only because I know how you niggas are So proud of this bit At the end of the show I'm selling my dumb DVDs You know Selling my merch And inevitably A white person Would always come up to me Give me $20 and call me Nick Oh That's not the bit That's not the bit So So late 20s, early 30s, you know, you know, you're the angry comic.

[964] Like, what the fuck?

[965] You know.

[966] And then now that I'm a little older, I go, man, I'd be funny if I, because I kept the money.

[967] You know what I mean?

[968] Like, if that was my stick, like I didn't sell merch.

[969] Look, y 'all can call me whatever y 'all want for $20.

[970] Just me. You have a line of people.

[971] Right.

[972] You'd be like this being in there and doing interviews.

[973] Like, well, I made my money.

[974] And people walking by, niggit.

[975] And they're saying, my money.

[976] Anywho Anywho Anywho It was like You know But for me Just living in that space Man I was just like Nah After I tried it And I was getting That kind of response I just Was a thing too When you're a comic Like you want to be respected So you want to come up With a bit That like It transcends comedy Yeah You want everybody to go Wow Owens on some real shit Yeah You know I think There's a danger in that and that you can kind of trick yourself Like I had some dumb bits that I did that were like I was just trying to get people to think that I was really good Rather than it just being good Yeah being good being from a real personal place It's so much of it I had this conversation with Robert Downey Jr. about acting And something I said to him and he said exactly I said isn't a lot of it is just about getting out of your own way Because that's what a lot of it is with comedy I think it's with acting I think it's probably with music I think it's probably with everything I think so.

[977] You've got to get out of your own way because the way you look at yourself and the way you want people to look at you You know?

[978] It can hold you back.

[979] It can hold you back It can hold you back How many conversations have you ever have with a comic And they talk about how They want like the respect to the industry They want the people to look at them These fucking people don't respect me And it's like God damn Do you hear yourself?

[980] Yeah You're wasting all this mental fuel On this nonsense My mother -in -law has the best saying And my wife says it all the time She goes If you worry about yourself you'll have a busy, busy time.

[981] If you worry about you, you'll have a busy, busy time.

[982] Because when you hear people going up, I want them, they don't see the, hey, man, just worry about you.

[983] All the shit you have to do, you focus on that, you'll be busy enough.

[984] And nothing could be, you know, truer than that when I hear, you know, comics do that.

[985] You know.

[986] Comics come up with a lot of excuses for why things aren't going on.

[987] My favorite one, this is my favorite one.

[988] They don't want white, men they don't want white straight men i'm like what in the fuck are you even talking about i've heard that i've heard that and they've said that to me that is so fucking crazy i'm like okay man it's literally 90 % of all comedians oh they're not trying here's one thing that is true yeah there are certain networks and certain that are trying to get people that are not white men that's true However, there's still a fucking shitload that are getting specials.

[989] Yes.

[990] The idea that that's somehow an impediment.

[991] And not really pushing the, you know.

[992] It just lacks so much self -awareness to say that there's a problem being a white man. You understand?

[993] When they say it to me, you understand, I'll be like, what do I do with this?

[994] It's so not self -aware.

[995] No, one guy came to me one time.

[996] at the comedy store and he was complaining about not being able to get on staff and was a paid regular yeah but he wanted to be like the staff writer yeah as a writer and but I it came out that he's he sold shows and he so I go so you have a quote and I go you mind what's your quote and he told me his quote I go do you know what a staff writer makes I go you're not getting hired because you have a quote and you know what Like, no one's ever worked with you in the room.

[997] People need to know.

[998] Explain what that means for people who understand what they're meant.

[999] Oh, so, so, um, when you, so everything, when you sell a television show, they give you a contract of terms in case the television show goes.

[1000] And they agree to pay you an amount per episode of the show, of the show that you sold, whether it's a variety TV show, whether it's unscripted, whatever.

[1001] All those terms are agreed, um, in advance.

[1002] And that is what's called your quote.

[1003] And that quote is specific to the studio you did the deal with because, but that quote can travel to another studio.

[1004] So if you go someplace else, they may give you the bare minimum offer and you can go, I have a quote, right?

[1005] If you are a staff writer.

[1006] And so, and typically, that quote is a decent amount, right, per episode.

[1007] So, but typically, if you're a staff writer, I think you get paid, I'm going to say it's less than $6 ,000 a week is how the math would work out.

[1008] And so you have this thing where you have this quote that's probably $30 ,000 in episode.

[1009] I don't know what that would track a week because they amortize it over however long you're stated to work.

[1010] And as a staff writer, you're getting paid like this amount.

[1011] So no showrunner in their right mind is going to just ask you to take a pay cut from your quote.

[1012] Your people won't allow them to do that.

[1013] And no showrunner is going to hire you at that high quote if you've never been in the room before.

[1014] Like, I'm not going to pay you $30 ,000 an episode to learn.

[1015] You know what I mean?

[1016] So it's a lot of math missed in this complaint that you have built for yourself.

[1017] Which is fine, I just don't want to hear it because I know the math.

[1018] So it's like, I hope I did a good job.

[1019] No, that makes sense.

[1020] But it's like, it's like, yeah, man, you succeeded at selling several shows.

[1021] So that's like the lane you're in, unless you come in and go, listen, I'll take a pay cut.

[1022] I want to learn.

[1023] I need to get, if that's really what you want to do.

[1024] When I told them that, it was like, I don't know, you ever tell somebody like a different solution and the face they make is, I wish, you know how you take pictures of Ian's sleep.

[1025] I wish I could have pictures of, like, that face.

[1026] Like when a light bulb goes off, like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[1027] Oh, that's what's wrong.

[1028] But the difference is, I think, between successful people and people who are moderately successful is they're open to that, right?

[1029] Like, you just told me put no books on YouTube.

[1030] Guess where it's going to be?

[1031] It's going to be on fucking YouTube.

[1032] You know what I'm saying?

[1033] I'm going to do it.

[1034] Like, I'm not going to be like, I don't know.

[1035] You know, you actually connected what I've been thinking, like, the whole time.

[1036] It's almost like you just.

[1037] gave me that extra like incentive to yeah man i'm doing this now so i checked in with him no he didn't you know didn't do the thing and and so i almost think like he he needs to feel that he's being you know silly yeah yeah yeah stacked against so it fuels his oh yeah yeah okay yeah he needs to feel like he's being maligned yeah yeah yeah that's that fucking Hollywood world of it's incredible it's a gross world man dude the fact that you live here and figure out how to succeed outside of it is kind of a diabolical it's diabolical in a lot of ways i'm kind of in it but i'm kind of not oh my gosh yeah like do you still go to meetings or do you do you do you do people come here no no no there's no meetings there's no meetings i say no to everything i say no to every interview i say no to every meeting i say no to everything i'm He said yes to no book.

[1038] He did no books.

[1039] Yeah, but I said yes to that.

[1040] Anything my friends do.

[1041] That's so funny.

[1042] I'm not interested.

[1043] I don't want any meetings.

[1044] I don't want to do anything more than what I'm already doing.

[1045] Did you have this vision?

[1046] Oh, that's what I wanted to ask you, because I just had an audition today.

[1047] And I went to ask you, did you ever go for auditions?

[1048] Yes.

[1049] Did you, did it become a thing that you set out to be great at?

[1050] Or was it always something that you just were like, I'm going to see what this takes me?

[1051] I'll give you the craziest.

[1052] story about auditions ever as far as success stories i auditioned for two shows ever i got both of them the only two shows i ever auditioned for i auditioned for a show called hardball that was on fox it was a terrible baseball show i got that started off really good but the network farged it up and then i audition for news radio and i got that so two shows in a row so did you hold me through it though did you did you have to go do the first audition callback test and all that all that okay do you remember who else was uh no but i remember news radio i remember uh see news radio i was 26 so that was only like four years from when i was fighting right so i had a different feeling of fear and anxiety than a lot of people did and i was in the the waiting room i did the there was an open call and the open call it wasn't an open call but it was like a cattle call there was like 50 fucking dudes waiting to get in there and you would read but it was interesting it wasn't funny i was like what is this but they did it on purpose They wanted to cut out all the corn balls So they gave you lines And you had to play it straight It was like me trying to figure I was a handyman at this radio station So I had to figure something out And I was like I don't know what's going on with it And they're like but you're supposed to fix it But yeah but I can't fix it So I don't know what to do Like that kind of thing Like there was no There was no punch line And I told my manager I was like I don't know I go the pilot was really funny Because I saw the pilot And there was another guy on the pilot And there was another guy on the pilot And they fired him replaced him with another guy and then they fired that guy and then they had a call to see who the next guy would be and then I went in to read for it and then the first script was not it was just straight it was weird so I said I don't know what to do with it I said I'm just gonna do it straight and so then I got a call back and then I got new sides and the new sides were hilarious and then I realized like oh they're trying to cut out the corn balls they got a bunch of wacky you know fucking real obvious sitcom guys So I went in for the second call And it was me and three other dudes And they looked like they were about to get shipped off to Vietnam They were white, pale, sweaty Everyone was nervous And I just I remember looked at them and go Oh, I got this And I sat down and I plop my feet up on the couch And I just kicked back and relaxed I relaxed I felt good I was like how nervous you fucks are Are you guys gonna go in there and choke So I just went in there and did it And but also the thing for me is I never wanted to be an accident actor.

[1053] I just did it for the money.

[1054] Yeah.

[1055] When I got an audition for Hardball, it was because Disney gave me a bunch of money for a development deal because I did stand -up on MTV.

[1056] So I did the MTV half -hour comedy hour and then MTV, they offered me the most ridiculous deal ever.

[1057] It was like 500 bucks to do a pilot and then if they decide to do it, even if they decide to shoot it and never film it, they have you locked up exclusively for two years.

[1058] It was so ridiculous.

[1059] It was because they had made celebrities with like Dennis Leary.

[1060] Like Dennis Leary had become famous from MTV and then he left.

[1061] So they're like, you know, we're going to keep people here now.

[1062] You know, we're going to, if we make someone a star, we're going to keep them.

[1063] So they offered the most ridiculously low ball deal of all time.

[1064] So I said no to that.

[1065] We said no to that.

[1066] And then my manager sent my tape out and said, hey, this guy is about to sign this deal with, you know, someone.

[1067] You know, if you guys are interested, do it now.

[1068] I think he might have said MTV.

[1069] So then we got all these offers.

[1070] And so, I had a note, I couldn't answer my phone.

[1071] They told me, don't answer my phone.

[1072] Just go to the pool hall.

[1073] Stop, stop answering your phone.

[1074] Because people were calling me at home.

[1075] And this is back in the day.

[1076] I didn't have a cell phone.

[1077] Yeah.

[1078] So then two weeks later, I'm in Hollywood, having meetings.

[1079] And then a month later...

[1080] Are you in Boston?

[1081] Yeah, I was in New York.

[1082] Oh, okay.

[1083] And then a month later, I'm living there.

[1084] A month later.

[1085] Great.

[1086] I'm out in Hollywood with Jim Brewer.

[1087] Jim Brewer was on the show with me and the pilot.

[1088] He was the opposing mascot.

[1089] He was hilarious.

[1090] So me and Jim were buddies from back in the day, so we're all hanging out.

[1091] And then, you know, that show got picked up.

[1092] I did like six episodes of that show.

[1093] It got canceled.

[1094] I'm just hanging out the store every night.

[1095] And then I'm ready to go back home to New York, but I had already signed a lease.

[1096] So I had this fucking apartment for a year.

[1097] And I couldn't get out of it.

[1098] So I'm like, God, damn.

[1099] And then I got a development deal with NBC based on the Hardball show.

[1100] And so they said, hey, before we talk to you about doing your own show, we'd like you to look at this pilot and see if you'd be interested in it and it's Dave Foley and Phil Hartman and Andy Dick and I'm like holy shit I'm like really I'm like yeah yeah I'm interested in this and then I came in and read for it next thing you know I had it next to you know I'm on TV I've been doing acting for like a couple of months and I'm sitting at a table next to Phil Hartman I'm like this is crazy like this is fucking crazy and all these different people in that were on the show it was fascinating man it's fascinating because I it's not something I ever wanted I was not interested in it at all, but all of a sudden it was happening.

[1101] I was like, huh, but that's part of probably why I was able to do it, because it wasn't like this dream that was paralyzing me with anticipation and anxiety.

[1102] When I walked in that second audition, I saw those dudes sweating.

[1103] I was like, look at you nervous fucks.

[1104] It brought me back to fighting because fighting, I used to love seeing how nervous people were before fights, and I would take naps.

[1105] I would lay down on the ground, like in the bleachers, because just to let everybody know, I'm just going to go sleep.

[1106] Like, you guys are all nervous.

[1107] I'm just going to take a nap.

[1108] Because you're playing psychological games.

[1109] Like when I would knock guys out, I'd walk away like it was normal.

[1110] Like, even though I was freaked out, like, whoa, that dude's unconscious.

[1111] I would just walk around.

[1112] Like, that's what I do, dude.

[1113] I do that shit every day.

[1114] I'm going to do it to you, too.

[1115] Really.

[1116] And so when I was in that room getting ready to go in and read, I had the same feeling.

[1117] Like, oh, you guys are nervous.

[1118] Like, ah.

[1119] It's her feet up.

[1120] What an asshole.

[1121] I was like this.

[1122] Like, oh, I got this.

[1123] Yeah, that guy.

[1124] Well, also, I was the only comic.

[1125] Yeah.

[1126] Those guys weren't comics.

[1127] They weren't used to performing live and all that.

[1128] That's a giant advantage.

[1129] I love that.

[1130] Like, when I would audition and like a really good -looking guy will walk in, I'd be like, he ain't funny.

[1131] Like, seriously, I would have no fear.

[1132] I'm like, yeah, whatever.

[1133] This is a comedy.

[1134] Good luck, man. Like, I have no fear.

[1135] You know what I mean?

[1136] It's too hard to be good -looking and funny.

[1137] It doesn't really work out very often.

[1138] Come on, man. You ain't going to be funny to me. Let's do it.

[1139] The reason I did Fear Factor because I didn't want to work with actors anymore.

[1140] When that came up, I was like, because I had auditioned for like one or two sitcoms that I didn't get after Fear Factor.

[1141] But it was also was a thing where I was like, man, I need to make some money.

[1142] Like, I'm not making as much money doing stand -up, and I was used to making TV money, and I had development deals, and they didn't go, and then I auditioned for a couple shows, and that didn't happen.

[1143] And then I guess it was like two years because Fear Factor, yeah, 2000, 2001.

[1144] Fear Factor was 2001, and news radio ended in 99.

[1145] And it was an opportunity to do something with no actors.

[1146] I was like, fuck, yeah, I'm in.

[1147] Because the audition process is even weird.

[1148] You're dealing with all these mind games that people are playing in the waiting room.

[1149] It's like, ah, you people are so strange.

[1150] They're the strangest people because their life is centered around getting people to like them for auditions, right?

[1151] So they're always trying to pretend they're exactly what these casting people want in terms of their political beliefs, the way they talk, the way they act.

[1152] There's nothing weirder than being around unsuccessful actors, ones that are trying to make it.

[1153] Like once they're successful, like, if you're talking to like Robert Downey Jr., he's a regular dude, man. He's a regular dude, but he's famous as fuck and super successful.

[1154] And there's a lot of those guys like that.

[1155] Yeah, you know what I equate that to?

[1156] When I first moved out here, before you get on the lot, right, and you're competing with everyone, then that's when you hear people in Hollywood are shady, people are full of shit, you can't trust.

[1157] Because we all were basically unemployed, you know, competing for the same.

[1158] Yeah, man, I'm going to meet you.

[1159] Hey, none of us got you.

[1160] Like, we all talking.

[1161] But once I got, like, my first gig, I met a different character of people.

[1162] All these people are nice.

[1163] Oh, because they were.

[1164] working you know like you know what I mean and so it is something about it is something about people who figured out you know how to make a living in this town that they have a you know a lot more you know integrity and a little more credible and honest and you go man you're a real dude but yeah when you first get here and you're throwing in that line where everybody just like struggling it took me back to like basketball AAU where like I loved playing I wanted to be a globe trial Like I know I do like all the tricks and all that stuff I love having fun And when you start getting When I started looking at colleges And getting recruited I always is becoming a business And I wasn't ready for that And I literally liked having fun Like playing basketball And I would be playing At some tournaments with some kids And like I'm like damn You got a kid?

[1165] Oh shit Like you're playing for your family You know what I mean?

[1166] And I'm out there like Having a good time.

[1167] Just having a good time.

[1168] And it was serious for them.

[1169] And so, you know, just like, so when I came out here, I fell into the commercial world.

[1170] I started booking commercials a lot.

[1171] And I still do if I go out.

[1172] My wife was like, you should go back out for commercials again.

[1173] Because I had that same mindset where, all right, man. But as a comic, I get it.

[1174] I get the joke.

[1175] I know how to, like, you know, nail it.

[1176] I've booked pilots but then like because I write too I could see like all the rewriting happening on set and I could tell if it's going to go or not by because they always lately they've been trying to cut and everything up and I go I get it but in the 12th hour when you guys are deciding what you know the cute show's not going to make it so what do you mean by cute and everything up we're like so I was before he walked in I was like did you watch curb last night It did a funny thing about a handicapped placard, right?

[1177] And it just spoke to everybody wants one of those things.

[1178] Hey, man, you got a handigate, you know.

[1179] And they did a montage of all the stitch you would do if you had a handicapped placard.

[1180] That might be in the pilot at first and you'd be howling.

[1181] And then as you're shooting it, man, the handicapped thing is coming off a little mean.

[1182] What if we make it?

[1183] Oh, I see.

[1184] You know what I mean?

[1185] And then, like, they button it up to where it's not as gratifying because you're laughing.

[1186] at just the primal nature of yeah man I would do the same shit I'm rocking with this show until then they cuting it up and they're worried about the repercussions yeah they take the edge off yeah so then so when you watch it back and you go we got this show we got this show I don't really know anybody in this show this guy's a known face they're both cute put the known face out you know and but again I am literally armchair quarterbacking like it could be a series of things like you know but it's rare that someone does it right that's interesting with news shows it's not like there's a lot of people that are doing it right and there's a lot of great new shows no what do you think is the next thing though i think first of all streaming services have changed the whole game things like stranger things yes things like those kind of shows now there's a new show on hboh that i'm addicted to called the outsider is that good fuck yeah yeah it's fucking good it's fucking good it's terrifying i was very it grabs me like because i'll watch curb and i'll see like the last two minutes.

[1187] I'm like, what the fuck is?

[1188] Like, it's good.

[1189] The last two minutes I see you, I'm like, yo.

[1190] It's Jason Bateman.

[1191] Jason Bateman knows his shit because Ozark's amazing.

[1192] Those kind of shows, they're so off the charts in terms of like what you could get away with on network television.

[1193] Right.

[1194] Network television is just so hampered.

[1195] They're so confined.

[1196] They have shackles.

[1197] They just can't do anything wild, anything, anything outside the norm.

[1198] They can't take any chance.

[1199] I mean, this, on, spoiler alert, on the outside.

[1200] you see a dead kid like 30 seconds into the first episode yeah you can not not just dead but mauled I mean it's horrible I mean it's it's it's a stunning visual and if you can't handle that it's only you know it's not like something you see a lot right throughout the whole show but it's enough to fuck you up but they'll let you know like hey this is not CBS right this is this is chaos like this is as realistic, a horror show as you're going to get.

[1201] It's interesting.

[1202] When I watch, yeah, it's, like, everything is like a different palette, right?

[1203] Yeah.

[1204] Like, if you, on, if a network show is like clicking, I can get how people would get, you know, fall in love with that, the romance to that, like, oh, this is good, this is a good show.

[1205] But the, but the process, the creative process, coming from a stand -up brain, you know I'm a stand up first it's it is it's very collaborative and it is like you say it's collaborative with a lot of people who um at certain stages you're like yeah you know but but then you so I because I'm just going through it so I was trying to I'm being like very diplomatic and I go okay well what why do you have this job what do you do and it's also like how do we talk to one another because I know what I'm thinking like what is so I'm using it as it and I think because I'm a parent now so I'm just like when I'm my if you know I'm in this space of just trying to figure out yeah because 26 year old me would be like man what the fuck are you talking about you know or just been like this is stupid this but I'm in this space right now where I'm like okay I know I don't like how you're talking to me right now I don't even understand it but I need to I think I need to try to figure it out and um you know You know, it's interesting.

[1206] Yeah, working with people can be rewarding.

[1207] You definitely learn about communication.

[1208] Yeah.

[1209] The problem is it's never as good as your stand -up.

[1210] No, no. Yeah, you know, and yeah, that's real.

[1211] The problem is you are already a great stand -up.

[1212] I know, and it's like I'm trying to create a life over here.

[1213] That's that, but it's the attraction of the business.

[1214] The business pulls you in.

[1215] The business offers you money.

[1216] The business offers you security.

[1217] They don't make money off your stand -up in this town.

[1218] No, no, unless it's a fucking booking agency, they don't make shit off of it.

[1219] Right.

[1220] The business offers you this stability.

[1221] You're going to go to CBS Radford.

[1222] You're going to pull in every day.

[1223] Hi, I'm Owen Smith.

[1224] I'm working on the blah, blah, blah.

[1225] You go in there, you got your parking spot.

[1226] Woo!

[1227] I did it, man. I did it for years and years and years, you know?

[1228] I did it for five years on news radio.

[1229] Yeah.

[1230] It's attractive.

[1231] But that's what you think about you.

[1232] Like, you did it already.

[1233] Yeah.

[1234] So it's like, there's so many people.

[1235] Both things.

[1236] I've done, well, I did two shows that went to syndication.

[1237] Yeah.

[1238] I did news radio that went to syndication.

[1239] And then I did Fear Factor that did syndication.

[1240] And I get offers all the time to do stuff on TV.

[1241] I don't want to have anything to do with it.

[1242] What, how did you and Steve and A, what happened?

[1243] I went to ask you that, both talking about boxing.

[1244] That was like an amazing thing to watch.

[1245] He's a generalist.

[1246] Yes.

[1247] And you were very specific.

[1248] And that's, but, but how, why was that?

[1249] Why were they together?

[1250] Yeah.

[1251] Because they were trying to, he's a very popular guy.

[1252] And, you know, there was a big event.

[1253] Connor McGregor's playing Cowboy Soroni.

[1254] And then ESPN, obviously, it's on ESPN Plus.

[1255] I got it.

[1256] Okay.

[1257] So he's an ESPN star.

[1258] I was like, what happened?

[1259] When I saw, because I just saw a clip on YouTube.

[1260] And I go, what happened?

[1261] Yeah.

[1262] And it was clearly that.

[1263] I felt like I was watching an open micer and a headliner.

[1264] Yeah.

[1265] Both have a take on the topic.

[1266] It's not.

[1267] He does not have, it's not a good place.

[1268] Like, if you're coming from, if you're coming at martial arts, especially MMA, you have to have a deep understanding of the sport.

[1269] You can't just have a peripheral knowledge and communicate with someone like me. I've been doing this a long time.

[1270] That's what I saw.

[1271] I've been working for the UFC since 1997.

[1272] And I've been involved in martial arts since I was 14, 15 years old.

[1273] So this is not casual to me. And I'm, I'm bald.

[1274] deep in it.

[1275] And I'm also very, very respectful, very respectful to the fighters, very understanding of what's going on.

[1276] And I look at it in a very comprehensive way.

[1277] His whole thing is making controversy.

[1278] You know, his whole thing is he's a great shit talker.

[1279] And he's great at shitting on people.

[1280] He's great at mocking people's performances.

[1281] He's just a powerful communicator and an entertainer.

[1282] The problem is you carry that over to MMA, man. Those fans are not having that.

[1283] They turned on him.

[1284] Like wolves.

[1285] Yeah.

[1286] I didn't say anything mean, man. I didn't say anything.

[1287] I could have said some way, way, way, way meaner shit.

[1288] That's why I was watching.

[1289] I was like, oh shit, this is crazy.

[1290] Yeah, I don't have anything against that guy.

[1291] I like him.

[1292] I think he's entertaining.

[1293] But it's just, you can't say cowboy quit.

[1294] He got his face smashed in.

[1295] He got head kicked.

[1296] I mean, he just doesn't understand what went down.

[1297] You can't say Connor didn't show you anything.

[1298] He just ran right through a top welterweight in 40 seconds.

[1299] He's a beast.

[1300] it's like I understand what he's trying to do he's trying to apply the same sort of way of talking about sports that he talks about maybe if it's a basketball game or maybe it's something else he's trying to apply that to MMA it's a different thing it's a different thing there's no knockdowns you get knocked down the guy gets on top of you and punches your fucking face in you know what I'm saying it's not like boxing it's so it is as raw as a sport ever gets you don't even wearing shoes you know your fingers are exposed You've got pads on your knuckles You're allowed to elbow someone in the eyeball You're allowed to kick them in the fucking face With your shin Your shin bone slamming into someone's nose That happens all the time That's normal That's a normal day at the office It's a crazy sport man So for that sport You have to be super respectful And appreciative of what's going on Because those guys are putting their health on the line In a big big big way And those girls too Those girls fuck each other man it's rough to watch that was one of the hardest thing for me to get over watching girls get fucked up because you don't think about that right i mean i saw that in the taekwendo days i definitely saw girls get caoed but it wasn't as it wasn't as normal like in mama like you see girls get just smashed man you see them get smashed like girls that fight amanda nunes she just peats the fuck out of them yeah whoa man it's a crazy sport man man but i don't have anything against Stephen 8.

[1301] No, that's not why I bought it up.

[1302] I was just, we were talking about TV.

[1303] That's what happened.

[1304] And like the, the, the interesting ideas that come from a different place.

[1305] What if we take Joe and put him in?

[1306] Even that world, I don't want to be involved in that world.

[1307] But if the VSP wanted to give me a job, like, nope, not interested.

[1308] I don't want to have anything to do with that.

[1309] This is what, like, we did this fight companion podcast on Saturday during the day for the fights.

[1310] The fights were from New Zealand, the UFC fights before the Tys of Fury by Deonté Wilder fight.

[1311] And we were talking about it.

[1312] And my friend Eddie was like, How come they don't do something like this on TV?

[1313] I'm like, they couldn't.

[1314] There's no way.

[1315] We're drinking.

[1316] We have whiskey.

[1317] We're smoking weed.

[1318] We're talking crazy shit.

[1319] You know, Brendan Schaub, every girl, this bitch's ass and this and that.

[1320] Everyone's talking crazy.

[1321] They're talking like guys normally talk.

[1322] We're sitting around, but we're doing it over the internet.

[1323] Yeah.

[1324] But it gets millions of views.

[1325] So it's one of those things where like, if a network had a show like that, they'd be like, this is a hit.

[1326] It's a giant hit.

[1327] For a sports show that's why.

[1328] for a sports show to get way more views than the actual show it's watching.

[1329] So it's a fight companion.

[1330] We're watching the fights and we're talking about the fights, but that gets more than twice as many views as the actual fights itself, which is kind of crazy.

[1331] That's very crazy.

[1332] But the only way that happens is if no executive.

[1333] None of those half in, half out people we were talking about before that really could have worked at the Discovery Channel or the History Channel.

[1334] They're trying to cut things up, trying to take the edge off.

[1335] Look, guys, we're going to cut that segment on when you're talking about those girls.

[1336] asses it's just kind of disrespectful and you know i've got kids my own and i've got daughters like get the fuck out of here like you know if we had a producer in here that like some some networks slub oh that's it right there oh my god giving us notes at the end of every show you couldn't do it yeah when i worked on um late night um talk shows the whole narrative of freedom of speech was in the air and that's whenever we would write something it all had to be legally approved like that's the first time I saw that a lawyer would come and he'd be like slusters you guys can't say you know all right man sorry you know we'd figure out you know fun ways and then and then you'd go out in the world and people like freedom of speech man this shit is all legally approved man what you're seeing in this space is it's not like you said like but but when you guys could just say whatever you you want to say the key is to narrow it down there's few voices as possible that have control like this.

[1337] This is just you and me. And Jamie's hanging out.

[1338] This is a three -man crew that reaches millions and millions of people.

[1339] That's insane.

[1340] Like that's insane.

[1341] That's never happened before.

[1342] But that's the only reason why it works.

[1343] Because you don't have any, like, my sensibilities are all fucked up.

[1344] They're not normal.

[1345] Like my, what I think is okay.

[1346] In terms of drugs and violence and all the different things that I enjoy.

[1347] Yes.

[1348] I mean, I'm a hunter.

[1349] I bow hunt animals.

[1350] You know, that's what I eat.

[1351] I smoke pot all the time.

[1352] You know, I'm always swearing.

[1353] Like, I don't believe in any of these things.

[1354] I, you know, I just think that when you're, when you're putting together a show, there's no way you would ever let a person like me be responsible for the, the job of promoting something, like being the captain of a show, where you've got all these executives and their jobs are on the line, and you're going to have some loose cannon like me who's a wild stand -up comic?

[1355] Like, my, everything I've done has been wild, all from the beginning, from fighting to getting the stand -up from, all it's wild.

[1356] It's wild stuff.

[1357] That's what I like, I like when it's chaos.

[1358] That's what I enjoy.

[1359] Yeah.

[1360] But there's no way you could ever have a network approve something like this.

[1361] There's no way the language saying cunt, saying whatever the fuck you want to say, talking about things in an honest way, talking about what's bullshit, about life, about politics, about the state of the way human beings communicate with each other.

[1362] You got to boil it down To just a couple of people When you boil it down Especially guys like you and me Who are comics Who could talk real about stuff Who aren't scared of saying their flaws Aren't scared of saying Where they fucked up And how You know Some of my favorite conversations Are when you talk about The shit you fucked up When you were young and dumb It's fun People hide from that stuff Man They don't like it They don't like to feel Like they're inadequate Or They always like to feel like They were always good Like, that's all nonsense.

[1363] Yeah.

[1364] Yeah.

[1365] This kind of thing where you're doing a podcast, this is, I think this is the future of all those talk shows.

[1366] Those talk shows are dwindling.

[1367] They are like flowers in the desert, man. They're not getting enough water.

[1368] There's no one watching.

[1369] If you look at the numbers like Conan's show, it's horrible.

[1370] And, you know, he's a legend.

[1371] And all these guys are legends.

[1372] But no one's watching that shit anymore.

[1373] Because you could watch this or any other podcasters, something like 900.

[1374] thousand of them.

[1375] Oh, And you could watch them or listen in to them anytime you want.

[1376] You could stop it when you have to take a shit.

[1377] You can come back.

[1378] You know, you don't have to wait for it to come on.

[1379] None of that nonsense.

[1380] Yeah.

[1381] You can listen in your car.

[1382] You can watch it on your computer.

[1383] Like, this is, and people are being real.

[1384] This is a different world now.

[1385] With the internet, there's too much real information for you to get spoon -fed nonsense on television.

[1386] You know, like when I watch those CBS shows, Like those crime shows, I'm like, old people are watching this, right?

[1387] Old people and people that, like, have chemicals at work and they come home drunk.

[1388] You know what I mean?

[1389] Like there's something about something in the air.

[1390] Like, oh, they just want to sit and have something mindless, spoon fed to them.

[1391] It's just old ones.

[1392] Those network shows.

[1393] That's what keeps those things alive.

[1394] Yeah.

[1395] Those things are so watered down.

[1396] It's so nonsense.

[1397] It's not real life.

[1398] I wanted to come, I wanted to tell you, I got, I got beef with Malcolm Gladwell.

[1399] Really?

[1400] You spoke to him.

[1401] You need to connect us.

[1402] What do you have beef with him about?

[1403] I love him, right?

[1404] Okay.

[1405] You listen to his stuff all the time.

[1406] And then he did something with some guy.

[1407] I think he was a little tipsy.

[1408] But he was talking about how he could do stand -up.

[1409] Doing stand -up is easy.

[1410] He really said that?

[1411] He really said it.

[1412] I wanted to send you the clip.

[1413] Oh.

[1414] And I just want to be like, Malcolm.

[1415] Come on, fam.

[1416] He said that?

[1417] Yeah.

[1418] Or something.

[1419] I have to find it.

[1420] He was like, doing stand -up is nothing but.

[1421] And he intellectualized it.

[1422] It's a certain set of thing in the room.

[1423] with people drinking and he tried to like and I want him to feel it like I want him to and so that's like a guy who watches a fight and thinks oh fuck that dude up and when he said that I was like Malcolm you come on Malcolm come on man and it's like I couldn't watch him anymore I was like so angry and uh and I watched a few clips of him here and I was like man I miss Malcolm but uh he needs to know you can't be if he really said that he's he just he doesn't understand what it is no he might just not understand what it is but I won him to, I want him to, like, I want to take him to a black room.

[1424] I want him to go stay, like the realest room, you know what I mean?

[1425] Go do your, do you think, ma 'am.

[1426] Go do your nonsense.

[1427] I just want to see it.

[1428] Just see him bomb.

[1429] Just feel it.

[1430] Just crackle, feel the heat coming off his body.

[1431] Yeah, you can't.

[1432] Yeah, yeah.

[1433] Ooh.

[1434] Yes.

[1435] You can't.

[1436] And to me, it's like, man, you wrote a book about 10 ,000 hours.

[1437] And you're sitting there going, I can do this.

[1438] It's like, come on, man, don't do that.

[1439] It seems like, but this is what I've been saying about standing for a while.

[1440] If you talk to someone, a lot of people have been funny in their life.

[1441] Most people have said something funny.

[1442] Of course.

[1443] And everyone can talk.

[1444] Yes.

[1445] So all you're doing up there is talking and you say something funny.

[1446] It seems like I can do it.

[1447] Yeah, but you're talking and saying something funny to people who know you and love you and know your quirks and your tics and all that stuff.

[1448] You're in front of strangers who may or may not be in that audience.

[1449] Well, that's the difference, Gene.

[1450] I don't know if you've ever seen this, but there's a lot of people that are maybe podcasters or they do other things, and then they're doing stand -up occasionally in front of their crowd.

[1451] Yes.

[1452] And they think they're doing good stand -up, but then they'll go on in the store.

[1453] And it'll get sandwiched into a lineup in the OR of murderers.

[1454] Yes.

[1455] And then it's ugly.

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] It gets ugly.

[1458] Fast.

[1459] Because reality sets in.

[1460] Because if they're all there to see you and they're all your fans and they paid money to hear you talk, they just want to see you.

[1461] Like, hey, there's the guy from the show.

[1462] Yes.

[1463] And they've probably never been in the comedy club.

[1464] So if Malcolm is doing these speeches and he's doing these speeches in front of these large audiences, he's probably said some funny things.

[1465] So he probably thinks that he can do stand -up.

[1466] It's a funny guy.

[1467] But when he got it, I was like, ah, man, I need, I need, I need to find dude.

[1468] I need to talk to him.

[1469] It's not one in, it's, I don't think people understand what it is.

[1470] It's a weird, it's a very weird art form because I don't, I think it's only truly appreciated by people who've done it.

[1471] like truly appreciated in terms of what's actually happening yeah and it took me years to realize that what was going on when you're killing is a sort of a form of hypnosis there's a the the audience is letting you into their mind and they're letting you think for them that's why when you have clunky shit or you blow yourself up or you you have a distorted perception of yourself or you have too many words it's like annoying it's frustrating it's hard for people to absorb you lose some of that grip that you have on them.

[1472] But when someone has an economy of words and they lock in and their jokes are tight and then they keep going and going, you're lost, you're lost in their thoughts.

[1473] You just let those people carry you.

[1474] I love it.

[1475] I love it.

[1476] I love my favorite things to sit in the audience and loves someone killing and just go along with them like, ah!

[1477] It's so fun.

[1478] It's so fun.

[1479] But to break that down to just sentences and words and you say this and you say that, it's not bad.

[1480] There's so much more to it.

[1481] So many elements.

[1482] That's why I love watching, like, you know what I wish?

[1483] I wish there was a stand -up show.

[1484] You know how, like, I love now that some of these ex -NBA players are on ESPN because now they're speaking about the game from being players.

[1485] Yes.

[1486] So you have people who clearly have never played.

[1487] Right.

[1488] You know, very learned, you know, pundits.

[1489] And then they'll go, that ain't it, man. Yes, exactly.

[1490] You ain't never do this.

[1491] It's this, this, this, this, this.

[1492] That team gonna lose And then the team loses I love that shit And I wish I wish There was a show Like that for stand -ups We could like Watch a stand -up special We would be real It would be hard I know because you come across It's hating There's some dog shit specials You know and I know There's something It should have never happen And you watch them And you'd have to break it down You'd have to go This is nonsense This is nonsense right here Yeah But I enjoy Figuring out that puzzle Yeah But we can couldn't do it publicly.

[1493] No, I know, fuck.

[1494] You know what I've been doing?

[1495] You know, some of my favorite people to do this with?

[1496] Me and Eddie Pep were sitting in the back of the room and just, just tear us up apart.

[1497] And it's so fun.

[1498] It's so fun.

[1499] And we're both like, ah!

[1500] And then we go up and do act.

[1501] When you see bullshit, if bullshit comedy's fun to watch sometimes.

[1502] It's so fun.

[1503] But what I'm saying, like, you know, I'm fascinated by that thing where We're truth tellers, we're honest, we spend our whole lives trying to figure out what our truth is, but we can't speak truth about certain things still because it's bad optics, it's bad thing, it's bad.

[1504] But it's like, my intention is to help it.

[1505] You know what I mean?

[1506] Like, my intention is not, that's why I said, I don't, I'm not walking around going, this guy sucks.

[1507] I love that you say, it's dog shit.

[1508] but I just feel like you should have you should have taken a year you know what I mean and this is a good start but that's the case in everything it's the case in fighting there's people that are bad at fighting oh my god I want to see what that is like there's people that are terrible at it oh my gosh and then they you know they try to fight professionally and they get crushed yeah and then there's people that are really good at it and you watch them and you go oh I see what is what's what's separating the creativity the aggression, the understanding, the technical aspects of it, that's the same with stand -up.

[1509] There's people that are mediocre at music.

[1510] There's people who are terrible at poetry.

[1511] There's people that are just, they just, you know, maybe they're still on their early notebooks.

[1512] You know what I mean?

[1513] Maybe it's just a journey and they just haven't gotten to the point yet.

[1514] But there's also a thing where you were talking about bits that you would do where you tried to get people to think about you a certain way.

[1515] I see a lot of that today.

[1516] You see a lot of this weird, woke comedy.

[1517] Oh, yeah.

[1518] Where it's like they're just, they're setting out to try to establish this like social justice premise rather than be funny.

[1519] But it's almost they're doing because they think it's the same mentality.

[1520] And it's almost always people that are not really successful yet.

[1521] Maybe they've had a little bit of success, a taste.

[1522] But it's the same mentality as those phony actors that haven't made it.

[1523] they don't say nice to meet you because they might have met you already so they say good to see you right yes you know that thing they do what does that mean good to see you what does that mean you know me and my friend Duane Kennedy we were working on a show and we walked a lot and we would just walk up to people and go I'm hearing good things people be like because it is it's right there it's up there with you hey man I'm hearing good things man yes good man Good things.

[1524] Actors.

[1525] Yes.

[1526] Yeah.

[1527] I have a person I know and her boyfriend is a, not a comic, an actor that hasn't made it.

[1528] And he's brutal.

[1529] Because all he talks about is like that this guy, I don't like his choices.

[1530] Like, you can't even watch a preview with him.

[1531] Oh, gosh.

[1532] Yeah.

[1533] Like, whatever happened to his career.

[1534] Like, bitch, you don't have a career.

[1535] What are you saying?

[1536] Are you shitting on this guy?

[1537] Pay attention to you and you have a busy, busy.

[1538] But it's not just that.

[1539] It's like it's uncomfortable to be around them Because that's all they care about is making it in acting It's all they care about They're not like balanced people that can just talk True Yeah I know some comics like that Yes When you're struggling when you're in the struggle Yeah The struggle is a motherfucker Because it's a mind fuck And then also the pressure of that struggle Overwhelms you And then when you actually do get a break There's so much weight to it You can't carry it Can't carry it Do you have anything now do you look back at maybe like have you seen some comedies like when you're in that struggle you're not your best self right so shit could happen have you have you like ever like made amends or anything like you know or just like forgiving people like quietly because you understand it now it's kind of like being apparent like before you're a parent you have you see the world one way then you become a parent yeah you see you know what I it's like Yeah, I talk about that a lot that I used to think of people as being, I meet a guy.

[1540] He's 42.

[1541] Oh, he's always been 42.

[1542] And then he's just, this is who he is.

[1543] And I realized, oh, he was a baby.

[1544] He was a baby.

[1545] And then he went through all these years.

[1546] And here he is all fucked up and confused.

[1547] Yes.

[1548] Yes.

[1549] And so I'm fascinated with that too.

[1550] I'm a very forgiving person.

[1551] I forgive people as often as I can.

[1552] Yeah.

[1553] I don't think there's any, there's no benefit to holding a grudge.

[1554] I agree.

[1555] I agree with that.

[1556] Especially in our business.

[1557] We're in a wild business where people take chances.

[1558] Right.

[1559] Wild people that take chances.

[1560] Like, you gotta cut them breaks.

[1561] Yeah, and I love that you always embrace that.

[1562] Like, you know who else embraces people being who they are?

[1563] Debbie Allen is like that.

[1564] Yeah?

[1565] Yeah, man. It's like, people want to protect people like that.

[1566] You know what I mean?

[1567] Yeah.

[1568] They kind of like walk the world, like, with no judgment.

[1569] And I like, I like, I like being like that.

[1570] Like, I love when people do fucked up shit.

[1571] I hope they're going to do it to me. No, I'm fasting.

[1572] I'm like, I'm like, I just want to know.

[1573] Whoa, and then what?

[1574] You know what I mean?

[1575] Like, I'm not like, you know, maybe you shouldn't.

[1576] I'm like, no, yeah, dude.

[1577] I like chaos.

[1578] I do.

[1579] I encourage it.

[1580] I do.

[1581] Hey, man, man, yeah.

[1582] But I also, I like people realizing that they fucked up and then talking about their fuck -ups.

[1583] I like that's, but that's what makes, that's the, like I say, is a difference between greatness and, you know, talented people.

[1584] The people that can embrace it, I think transcend.

[1585] I think it's, in my opinion.

[1586] It's just a powerful human quality to forgive people.

[1587] Humility.

[1588] Humility is big, but also just being a nice person.

[1589] It's so valuable.

[1590] It's so valuable.

[1591] I love hugging people, man. I love, I love one of the things I love most about come to the store or to the improv is seeing all my friends.

[1592] I love that.

[1593] We're all in this weird business together.

[1594] But I've been told I'm too nice.

[1595] I've been told them too nice.

[1596] Who the fuck told you that?

[1597] Some asshole.

[1598] Well, it's because I haven't had a special and all that shit.

[1599] That's bullshit.

[1600] You're too nice, man. No, you haven't had a special because you concentrated on writing.

[1601] That's all it is.

[1602] You're not too nice.

[1603] Yeah.

[1604] That's all bullshit.

[1605] That's crazy.

[1606] I know.

[1607] I was like, I'm, you know, the shit I'd be thinking.

[1608] People, but when things aren't going well, Right.

[1609] Assholes on the outside come up with solutions.

[1610] You're too nice.

[1611] I know it's a dude different.

[1612] You need to start stealing.

[1613] I'm like, right, right.

[1614] I'm like, I'm too tall to steal, man. You need to fire your agent.

[1615] Like, why?

[1616] He's been with me from the beginning.

[1617] People think that there's always some solution that they've got.

[1618] Yes.

[1619] That's a dangerous thing when things aren't going well.

[1620] All you need to do is people.

[1621] All you need to do is, you're listening.

[1622] People, even people that are really good, people come up with bad solutions.

[1623] Oh, yeah.

[1624] Like my manager, my own manager, I've had, I found my manager when I was an open micer.

[1625] He found me when I was an open micer in Boston.

[1626] I've had them ever since.

[1627] But in the beginning, he wanted me to be clean.

[1628] He's like, you got to be clean.

[1629] You got to be clean.

[1630] Clean your act up.

[1631] You get on TV.

[1632] Clean your act up.

[1633] But he let it go pretty quickly.

[1634] But it's also because things aren't going well, right?

[1635] You don't have shit going on.

[1636] Nothing's happening.

[1637] So people are like, hmm, how do we make it happen for you?

[1638] You got to be clean.

[1639] You told me I got to dress up nice and be clean.

[1640] Yeah.

[1641] Two pieces of terrible advice.

[1642] Let me ask you, do you think it's still value in that?

[1643] Like, why don't they have a late -night talk show where comics can just do their actual act?

[1644] It would have to be on the internet.

[1645] The problem is all those goddamn people you're talking about.

[1646] Like, the same reason why you can never have this fight companion or even this podcast on a network.

[1647] There was too many people would interfere.

[1648] They would, you know, like, I have a friend who's an executive and you actually talked to me about, you know, there's probably a lot of other things you could do with this show.

[1649] show.

[1650] You know, you could do this and you can do, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, stop.

[1651] You're never going to get a job here.

[1652] I'm never going to, you're not going to come over to the wild side.

[1653] Like, this is, you can't handle this.

[1654] This is not you.

[1655] This is, this is the internet is a different thing, man. The internet is a different thing.

[1656] And if you, you involve the internet and you try to bring the Hollywood people over the end, they'll just fuck it up.

[1657] Yeah.

[1658] They'll just ruin it.

[1659] Yeah.

[1660] So if any kind of wild ass late night talk show, you have comics sitting around, they'll ruin that.

[1661] You'd have to bring that over here.

[1662] You have to bring it over to the dark side and just let people just get all you need is a conference table and some fucking cameras and internet connection.

[1663] Boom, you're on YouTube.

[1664] I'm doing it.

[1665] That's all you need.

[1666] In context with Owen Smith.

[1667] Why not, man?

[1668] I'll be watching stuff.

[1669] I'm going, man, I want to do it.

[1670] Dude, everyone, every comic should have a podcast just like every comic has a social media.

[1671] It's really that simple to me. I'm getting off of that shit, though.

[1672] Social media?

[1673] I'm going to keep it, but I ain't following nobody.

[1674] No offense.

[1675] It's very addictive.

[1676] I unfollowed you this morning.

[1677] Thank you.

[1678] Because that's my new thing.

[1679] I tell people to their face.

[1680] Yo, I followed you, then unfollowed you.

[1681] It's very distracting.

[1682] Yeah.

[1683] It totally is.

[1684] And I'm like, God damn.

[1685] Looking at pictures of my dog and stupid shit.

[1686] Yeah, it's like, my dog's right here.

[1687] I can just pet my fuck.

[1688] Why am I doing this?

[1689] So it's a time waster.

[1690] Yeah, man. So I'm on it.

[1691] Y 'all can follow me. Owen Smith for real, whatever.

[1692] I'm no for real man I'm trying yeah I'm not I'm not following nobody I'm trying to I'm gonna get rid of all my Twitter followers like if I know you and I see you I'm gonna engage that way I'm only going to post stuff that I feel this funny and fun or whatever it's a good promotional tool that's it but you have to be worried about the addictive nature of social media it's very addictive yeah it's very hard to like you could when I take a shit in the morning I'll go over my email first see if it's any important like see if anything funny on her instagram yeah and then like little deval always makes me laugh i go to his shit first he's the best he him and kail done again are the best follows on instagram you know what's funny i was from the bahamas i was more than the bohamas my fuck is so funny man i sold the show to abc and i wrote it and uh they were asking me like who do you want the star in it and i wanted little duval to star in it and the whole network thing i was like plus i don't even know if he fucking with TV now because his music career.

[1693] He's doing so well with performing live.

[1694] It would be a demotion.

[1695] You know what I mean?

[1696] The dude has planes.

[1697] Yeah, yeah.

[1698] He has two planes.

[1699] Yeah, I know.

[1700] I know.

[1701] I know.

[1702] Isn't it crazy?

[1703] You hear him talk about it?

[1704] But I just think he's so, like you trust him.

[1705] You know what I'm saying?

[1706] Like, it's like, it's certain like when you see him, you know his goal is to be funny.

[1707] And you just trust it.

[1708] Even though he hasn't quote unquote been number one on the call sheet before, I was like, man, this dude would be.

[1709] he would be murderous but it's too late he's free already they passed on the show so I didn't have to go do with the casting thing anyway but in the back of my mind I was like man he would be the perfect if you had a show that was produced by people that you respect you yeah and like other comics and like really intelligent people that you trusted yeah that would be a different experience completely and it would be it wouldn't even feel like work yeah and it would have to be people whose lives didn't depend on the success of the show.

[1710] Oh, that's so important.

[1711] Yes.

[1712] Because you could feel that shit, man, especially with notes and all of that.

[1713] But again, like I say, I chose to look at it as a challenge.

[1714] I just go, what is this?

[1715] Let me see how I can, you know, what just, it's different.

[1716] Well, it clearly benefits your stand -up writing because you have this, your stand -up, you have, you very widely in your subjects.

[1717] And you also, you have this approach.

[1718] You have a very comprehensive approach to subjects when you're, you examine subjects well.

[1719] You know, and I think a lot of that comes from your writing and a lot of that comes from also dealing with network notes and dealing with executives.

[1720] Like there's a benefit, but the benefit is done.

[1721] You already got all the good parts of that.

[1722] You got to break free of the tit.

[1723] Got to break free, man. So there it is.

[1724] Text owen .com.

[1725] You could do so many different things, man. You can do so many different things I'm gonna hit you up And if you want to do some gigs with me I got a bunch of gigs I'm announcing a giant tour tomorrow Yay Hey hey Well you just announced it today Is this come out tomorrow Is this out today?

[1726] This will come out tomorrow Tomorrow will come out tomorrow Yeah tomorrow Okay good So tomorrow meaning today So I'm announcing a giant tour today Yay Oh man yes I want to Let's do some gigs Let's do it man I'd love to take you out I would love it man Do some arenas Yes Who What's the biggest place You ever performed at Radio City Music Hall How many is that Russell Peters I'm maybe 6 ,000 straight up.

[1727] And let me tell you, the comedy store, my training in the comedy store prepared me for that.

[1728] Yeah.

[1729] Because at the run -through, I was like, how am I going to play this?

[1730] Because it just goes up.

[1731] Right.

[1732] When I was on stage, the way it set intimately, it felt like the O .R. Really?

[1733] It felt like the O .R. So from a technical perspective, I just had to stand there and trust the material.

[1734] And then when I would act out something, it was so much more effective.

[1735] then the first instinct, like, I got to work this stage.

[1736] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1737] It's like, if I was like, a couple of, you know, just because of my build and my height, I was trying to figure out what's the best way to, like, connect.

[1738] Some people like the pace.

[1739] Yeah, and pacing is fine, but.

[1740] It's got to be in you.

[1741] Yes.

[1742] And, and sometimes I pace, but, but the more I know it, the stiller I can get, and then I can play.

[1743] Now I'm playing, you know what I mean?

[1744] So it's like, it's just the, it's the work of it all.

[1745] when I did Radio City I stood there man It destroyed that It was fun as fuck Like I love Arenas Because there's no It's um You forget When the drinks are being bought in And the tabs are being dropped You don't have that Like they're actually just Yeah And you're like oh shit Like It's just a different Has he done one in the round yet?

[1746] Not yet That's wild I can't wait That's weird You can't pace it around It's fun I'd be fun as fuck man Like I just Yeah man I guess get chills just thinking of like when I first started when I, a few auditoriums I did in a few arenas, not arenas.

[1747] Theaters?

[1748] Theaters.

[1749] I was like, oh shit, this is what I like this is, like I'm that.

[1750] Like I love that shit.

[1751] Well, especially for your style of comedy too.

[1752] Yeah, love it, man. You have comedy too that's got plenty of room to think about what you're saying.

[1753] Yeah.

[1754] You know, and that's what you were in the theater you've got to kind of slow things down a little bit because I remember I went to watch Lewis Black.

[1755] Me and Joey Deers.

[1756] Watch Lewis Black.

[1757] He was performing a night before I was.

[1758] Okay.

[1759] And we were just, we flew in early and Joe was like, let's go across the street because that was where the theater was.

[1760] And so we got in, we sat down.

[1761] And I realized that when he's in, maybe the, there was in New Jersey, might be the theater didn't have the best sound.

[1762] Not that New Jersey has a bad sound.

[1763] But when he was in his middle of his, he was killing, he had this big laugh.

[1764] And then he would say a tagline.

[1765] And I couldn't hear the tagline because everybody around me was laughing.

[1766] And then I realized like, oh, you got to hold these.

[1767] these tag lines a little in a place like this because the laughter's too loud because you actually hear people next to you going ha ha ha ha ha and you can't hear what the fuck he's saying unless the volume so overwhelming like you've got to know and then on stage it's hard to realize that because there's the monitors and the monitors are you know you can hear yourself very loudly but you might not the people in the audience might not be able to hear it as clearly it is a different pacing thing I love it though man it's so interesting about that is when you what I like to do sometimes is look at what other acts come to that venue and a lot of times if it's like if it's like you know like jazz ensembles or things where it's not like a lot of laughter you know what I mean like in that space you got to remember like it's 52 weeks in the year maybe four of those weeks it's us right yeah every time it's like it's dance there's all these other things you know doing this shit so yeah that the place is even like what the fuck is all this noise like consistent at a rapid so yeah you do it bounces and you gotta like just dad's different what's different what's your thing that you do when people are laughing a lot you know what I'm saying like if you got a lot of laughs you know some people like to do that fake laugh if I laugh it's because I'm laughing no I know I don't have a fake laugh yeah I know what you're talking about that the old scutas could take a puff yeah like what's your I don't know.

[1768] Just in the moment, man. I stay in the moment.

[1769] I try to stay in the moment.

[1770] But I definitely never give off a fake laugh.

[1771] If I'm laughing, it's because I think it's funny in the moment.

[1772] There's a grossness to fake laughs that I just can't tolerate.

[1773] I see guys fake laugh.

[1774] Even good comics sometimes I want to go, please stop.

[1775] I know.

[1776] I know.

[1777] Please stop.

[1778] Because sometimes it's funny.

[1779] Sometimes it really is funny.

[1780] But if you're lying to me, you're pretending you think this is hysterical right now when you said it 150 times in a rogue's hack of the same way.

[1781] And you're pretending like you just realize how funny it is.

[1782] Right.

[1783] Like I had a tagline the other night that I never used before.

[1784] And right after I said it, I started cracking up.

[1785] That's the best, though.

[1786] It came out of nowhere.

[1787] Yeah.

[1788] Because I realized, like, there was a, I had a point in the middle of this bit.

[1789] And I said the point.

[1790] And they're like, bah!

[1791] Because it was so ridiculous.

[1792] And it was also real.

[1793] Like, in the moment, I came up with it.

[1794] I ad libbed.

[1795] I said it on the spot.

[1796] And then I started laughing.

[1797] Those are real laughs.

[1798] But I don't hardly ever laugh.

[1799] laugh along unless I'm really I might be real high I'm real high I'm real silly sometimes I'm just you know most of the time I'm in the groove right I'm just thinking about what I'm doing I'm just trying to do it my best but there's times when I'm up there I'm like man I can't believe I get to do this I can't believe it remember you go back to thinking about the time when you were 19 you're watching Chris and Tony and then think now you know you get to do it in the best comedy clubs in the world and it's just the greatest job on earth.

[1800] There's nothing like it.

[1801] There's nothing like it.

[1802] And so that's what brings me back to Malcolm Gladwell, man. Malcolm, you're crazy.

[1803] We'll see you in these comedy streets, fam.

[1804] Come on, Malcolm.

[1805] Malcolm, I'll pull you up on one of my nights.

[1806] I really wanted to talk to him.

[1807] I want you to go on right after always.

[1808] Yeah, follow me, son.

[1809] Or open.

[1810] That might be even uglier.

[1811] Oh, my gosh.

[1812] Yeah, man. No warm up.

[1813] I was like, like, for real, ask my wife.

[1814] Like, I couldn't, I can't, I couldn't listen to him for a minute.

[1815] And that was my man, because he had these podcasts.

[1816] when he was dissecting stuff and you know well he's a brilliant guy fantastic and sometimes brilliant people overestimate their perceptions they they overestimate their ability to break something down yes I mean like I've had conversations with people about fighting that way where people say hey if anybody ever came up to me I would do this and then I would do that like they say that and like oh okay this is uh it's hard for me to hear I'm just going to let you talk because really I want to just tackle you right now I'm choking a life out of you Wait, I wasn't ready.

[1817] I wasn't ready.

[1818] But people have this idea because a person moves in a way that's similar to the way that they can move.

[1819] They think, I could do that.

[1820] I lift weights.

[1821] I'll fuck that guy up.

[1822] They have these ideas.

[1823] And they think, oh, he's out there talking.

[1824] I'm a brilliant guy.

[1825] I'm smarter than them.

[1826] I understand things.

[1827] I write.

[1828] I'm always performing because I'm always talking about this.

[1829] I stand up would be easy.

[1830] I literally yelled.

[1831] I said, Malcolm, what did I do to you?

[1832] I think it's so personal.

[1833] Like, why are you attacking my thing, man?

[1834] Before I criticize, I'd have to hear his exact quote.

[1835] Yeah, I've got to send it to you.

[1836] Have we found it?

[1837] He was feeling salty.

[1838] It's him and another guy.

[1839] He was talking about jobs that are really hard, and he picked stand -up comedy, and there's a couple of quotes.

[1840] That guy defended stand -up comedy very well, it seems like.

[1841] But is this something that you...

[1842] I couldn't figure out where it exactly was.

[1843] Is it on somebody else's...

[1844] It was the podcast they did somewhere, like an interview.

[1845] Okay.

[1846] So you saw it in quotes?

[1847] Right, right, yes.

[1848] Can I see the quotes?

[1849] It wasn't very...

[1850] It wasn't very clear.

[1851] Oh, okay.

[1852] So, but basically, give me your...

[1853] synapsis of it then?

[1854] Like, he thought people were too drunk, so it was really easy.

[1855] Yes.

[1856] Like, the room was set up for them.

[1857] They're coming to see them, so it's easier.

[1858] He just doesn't know, like, he's guys are very, like, singular.

[1859] He must have been, like, one or two stand -up shows, and it's like, oh.

[1860] Well, he's right sometimes, though.

[1861] He's right sometimes.

[1862] We've all seen shows where people are laughing at bullshit.

[1863] I didn't want to hear from him.

[1864] Right.

[1865] Well, he doesn't know.

[1866] There was a show, and you went on, and Jasselnick went on, and Diaz, maybe Louis C .K. Drop in.

[1867] Right.

[1868] Dave Chappelle did 10 minutes.

[1869] Malcolm, get up there.

[1870] Good.

[1871] Fucking luck, not having a heart attack.

[1872] Right, right.

[1873] Right.

[1874] Quite fun, man. Go, go, go, go.

[1875] But he's also right in that we've all seen mediocre thoughts get passed off and the audience laughs.

[1876] Like, there's certain clubs.

[1877] I don't want to mention any names.

[1878] But you can go to them any night of the week in Burbank or in North Hollywood.

[1879] And you can see.

[1880] locations dog shit comedy and people are laughing they're laughing and it's like real clunky low rent what if that's the only that's where he was like in those it could be where he was straight be wrong but i mean this is the difference between talking about any sport right you could watch someone do it poorly on a playground or you could watch someone do it exquisitely as a professional and you go oh oh here it is glad well stated comedians deal with people in a Highly controlled setting.

[1881] I remember that.

[1882] He cannot imagine an easier set of circumstances for navigating a social situation than that of a stand -up comedian.

[1883] They go to Vegas.

[1884] They go to the comedy seller.

[1885] They control their environments.

[1886] Oh, man. I was like, see.

[1887] This is, what is this article that's shitting on it?

[1888] What's it from?

[1889] Malcolm Gladwell fails stand -up comedy 101.

[1890] Yes.

[1891] So who wrote that?

[1892] See, that's how I felt.

[1893] What is the person who wrote it?

[1894] somewhere up here Does this have their name anywhere?

[1895] I had it Really?

[1896] It's the guy It's the dot com Nathan timel .com Nathan timel dot Is Nathan a comic?

[1897] Yeah, well he's right Yeah, I mean he's And Malcolm's right In a sense He's right in a sense But he doesn't understand is There's a mind wrestling That's going on Before you actually go And do that And to sort of diminish the difficulty of that it just shows that you haven't done it that's what it felt like yeah and so i was like damn i can't listen to this too because i couldn't i couldn't because he said it in the same exact voice he says everything else in so when he's breaking down something i really want to hear him dissect he's so brilliant in so many different ways i couldn't shake it i was yeah that 10 000 hours shit yeah he wrote outliers right that's him right yes yeah that that book is amazing when it talks about the beetles and now the the beat like people think the beetles came out of nowhere those motherfuckers did thousands and thousands of shows that's what's up it's just numbers yeah it's numbers and concentration and focus and just that being what you really want yeah you know it's just not it's not just numbers of like passion numbers of focus yeah yeah yeah he's wrong he's wrong but but i get it i get why he thinks that it's it is a tightly controlled environment but it's so easy to bomb in that tightly controlled environment he has no idea some that's an a room some Some rooms are tightly controlled environments, but starting, we didn't always perform in tightly controlled environments.

[1898] No. Bowling alleys, fucking backyard.

[1899] Bars.

[1900] Bars.

[1901] Yeah.

[1902] Yeah.

[1903] Like, there's so many other spots where you also have to make comedy happen.

[1904] Yeah.

[1905] And those places where there's a big moat between you and the audience.

[1906] I did a Jack and Jill strip club.

[1907] A Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.

[1908] The last thing I want to see is you.

[1909] There was a guy named Brian Deere.

[1910] He used to book these gigs I think he's still around He used to book these gigs in Rhode Island And some of them were great But occasionally they were terrible And this one as far as I know I think I was the only I think I was a one and done I think they killed it after either Because there was only like four people in the crowd And I went up and it was a guy And a girl Jack and Jill's trip club There was an old concept That didn't really take off Where couples would go And a guy would go and strip And the girl would go and strip And they both looked like Their parents drank while they were in the womb They both They both had terrible tattoos This guy had terrible tattoos And he had them covered With bandanas So like Bandanas around his arm And you can see Like the shitty tattoo Poking out of the bottom And he wasn't He was built Goofy He was built like a guy Who like Lifts weights But he drinks every night You know what I mean Like he wasn't Strong pop belly Dude He wasn't like if you go to Vegas And you see those like The men from down under They're all six -pack Look at Rips There was nothing like that With him or her They were both disgusting they're both disgusting and it was and I don't I'd like to say I bombed but bombing usually you hear some noise right like people are mad at you right suck poo it was they were not even recognizing that I was talking oh my god so I got off stage and there was like a little pool table in the back and there was a dude who just happened to be in town because his family lived there because it was around the holidays and his family lived in Rhode Island and he just wanted to get out of the house so he came to this local bar And he goes, hey, what the fuck is this place?

[1911] And I go, what do you doing here?

[1912] And he goes, I'm just here.

[1913] My fucking family lives around here.

[1914] And I just came here because there's nowhere else to go.

[1915] What the fuck is this place?

[1916] This is so strange.

[1917] And he and I had a game of pool and we were laughing.

[1918] That's hilarious.

[1919] Yeah, I'll never forget it.

[1920] It was so strange.

[1921] It was so strange.

[1922] That's not a controlled environment.

[1923] Those gigs, those gigs seizing you, though.

[1924] Yes.

[1925] You develop a crust, a layer of protection where you could go.

[1926] up in front of those people.

[1927] Yes, and you also know when you get offered those gigs what it's going to be like.

[1928] Just by the tone, hey, man, it's going to be great as always packed.

[1929] All right, oh, it's okay, all right.

[1930] Where is it again?

[1931] Sure.

[1932] But there were some that were always packed.

[1933] There were some gigs and I'd get old school shitty bar gigs that were fun, man. Yeah.

[1934] They were wild.

[1935] They made me because they fed me. Right.

[1936] Those gigs fed me when I was poor.

[1937] But it's, it's, every situation is different.

[1938] Like, he basically saw like the Lakers of, you know, stand -up, you know what I mean?

[1939] And he thinks it looks easy because they make it look easy.

[1940] He falls into that trap.

[1941] That's all for it.

[1942] Yeah.

[1943] My wife is calling me. That's like thinking that someone's making something, thinking that something's easy because someone's a master.

[1944] Yes.

[1945] Like, did you ever see that video where Michael Jordan came out of retirement?

[1946] It didn't come out of retirement, but he had retired.

[1947] But there was a player who had been talking shit about him.

[1948] Oh, yeah.

[1949] You saw that?

[1950] Oh, yeah.

[1951] And when Mike came back.

[1952] He, uh, he, they played one on one and he just destroyed them, but he did it like laughing.

[1953] And he made it look so easy.

[1954] And then the guy realized like, oh, oh, there's levels.

[1955] I do that.

[1956] I do that sometimes because you know what else happens out here?

[1957] We'll be working stuff out.

[1958] Yes.

[1959] Working stuff out.

[1960] So I might not, I'm not, I'm not in the gear that I would be in.

[1961] Of course.

[1962] Because I'm figuring it out and this is a safe space to try to figure it out.

[1963] Yeah.

[1964] You might see some people like, you know, whatever.

[1965] He struggled after me. I'll be like, all right, put me in front of you.

[1966] And then I would just.

[1967] Do your best shit.

[1968] And I would make sure I can see their face like while I'm doing it.

[1969] And they were like, oh, shit, you know what I mean?

[1970] That taking the chances, look, Chris Rock does that better than anybody.

[1971] I've seen Chris Rock go on after people killed, right?

[1972] I mean, killed.

[1973] He gets this giant round of applause and he goes, relax, relax.

[1974] The shit ain't going to be funny.

[1975] Yeah.

[1976] This shit is not going to be that funny.

[1977] I'm going to tell you right now.

[1978] There's all new shit I'm working out.

[1979] It ain't that good.

[1980] And he'll walk around and joke and laugh and says, it's not that good.

[1981] And he'll, like, bring everybody down.

[1982] Calm them down and then purposely fuck around.

[1983] Damon Wayans used to do that too.

[1984] He's so funny.

[1985] Damon Wayans, he's one of the unheralded greats.

[1986] He's doing it again.

[1987] Yeah, he is doing it again.

[1988] But he's also doing sitcoms again, too.

[1989] Oh, yeah, he was going to do.

[1990] We had actually talked about doing a podcast.

[1991] He was into it.

[1992] Yeah.

[1993] Oh, no, I was there that night.

[1994] Remember?

[1995] Yeah, but.

[1996] Then he's like, he doesn't want to say anything crazy.

[1997] Oh, because he's got a show.

[1998] The Netflix stuff.

[1999] He starts smoking, read, get some drinks going, some ice starts clinking, start talking shit.

[2000] Oh, he's got some stories.

[2001] Damans.

[2002] Look, he had a joke about Magic Johnson way back in the days where when Magic went back to plane when he had HIV.

[2003] I'll never forget this.

[2004] He was, like, everybody was afraid to cover magic.

[2005] He said, except for Dennis Rodman.

[2006] Dennis Robbins was like, motherfucker.

[2007] fuck Madonna, I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms.

[2008] To this day, that's one of the best jokes I ever heard.

[2009] I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms.

[2010] It's motherfucker I fuck Madonna.

[2011] Man, yo, you don't realize how complete Damon is, man. He's an animal.

[2012] I got to witness, like, the stuff he says between the lines is so complete.

[2013] You know what I mean?

[2014] He's so fucking good.

[2015] should be recognized as one of the greatest of all time, but he went and did a bunch of TV shows.

[2016] And while he was doing those TV shows, you know, he did clubs and he fucked around a little bit like that, but he didn't dedicate to it the same way maybe Kat Williams did or some other guys did that became huge and, you know, had a bunch of big -time specials in that era, but he still got it.

[2017] He could still do it right now.

[2018] Damon, if he wanted to go on tour and start hitting theaters and start doing a Netflix special, he would blow people away.

[2019] Destroy it.

[2020] He was one of the people that showed me it was it was okay to be tall and funny.

[2021] Oh, that's hilarious.

[2022] You know what I mean?

[2023] Oh, we've talked about this, yeah.

[2024] Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[2025] God damn, and he was cool.

[2026] He was cool, but then he could get goofy.

[2027] He was silly.

[2028] Man, he was silly.

[2029] But he was a great writer.

[2030] Yeah.

[2031] Great writer, great performer.

[2032] And part of one of the great, look, there's two greatest sketch.

[2033] Well, there's a couple other ones that are, but for pound for pound funny.

[2034] There's in living color.

[2035] And number one is Chappelle Show.

[2036] Chappelle show is number one because it only really lasted two years And still this day has some of the most legendary sketches of all time Clayton Bigsby One of the most legendary sketches of all time All the Rick James shit Oh my God Legendary But in living color In that era That era that was the show for that era And Damon was a giant part of that And Keenan and it was stuff you had to see Like you race home to see You couldn't yeah But Damon somewhere along the line The world was a different place back then But he had decided that he was going to do movies.

[2037] Remember he was in the last Boy Scout with Bruce Willis?

[2038] He was a movie star.

[2039] He was doing action movies.

[2040] Yeah.

[2041] You know, and then he got that sitcom.

[2042] He did that sitcom for a long time.

[2043] And the problem with sitcoms is they give you that juicy check every week.

[2044] Ooh, if you're a famous guy who's the lead of a sitcom, like, guys like Kevin James, you never have to work again, ever, ever for life.

[2045] You get that juicy check, that juicy the show went for six years check?

[2046] Like, ooh, boy.

[2047] man oh boy that's the you don't have to do nothing yeah it's a trap it's a trap for someone who's a great comic yeah because at the end of the day it's never going to be as good as doing stand -up it's never going to feel as good there's a thing about when it pop there's a thing about when you hear a dude pop in the main room like you're in the back green room when you hear bha yeah like you open the door and lean in like what's going on what do you do what's he doing what's you do laughing that's my favorite that's my in my professional life yeah out of all the things I've done whether it's a UFC or podcasts or TV shows that the pop of someone murdering at a club where you're hanging out and you watch someone just destroying Joey Diaz did this bit about Terry Cruz that they cut out of his Netflix special What?

[2048] Yeah yeah yeah it was too risky It was too crazy Netflix was like fuck you It was because it was a Me Too thing And it was a but it was basically saying that like it was basically mocking Terry Cruz like it was Terry Cruz threatened because he's a goddamn fucking super athlete.

[2049] Like, Terry Cruz is a massive man. Yeah.

[2050] I mean, the idea that some agent touching his dick was actually terrifying is so ridiculous.

[2051] But Joey Diaz had this bit about, you shouldn't have done that underwear commercial.

[2052] Isn't that?

[2053] You're bouncing your titties with that giant fucking hog.

[2054] I'm not doing it any justice.

[2055] He doesn't do it anymore, unfortunately.

[2056] But that bit, me and Santino, we were in the back of the OR.

[2057] Literally, we couldn't stay the chair we were on the ground we were just clinging to the table just hanging on and joey's screaming and his sweats flying off of him and he's beat red but those are my favorite moments in life when someone hits those pops you don't get those pops when you do a sitcom you get a lot of money you get everybody making you bagels it's real it's wonderful you got a parking spot but it's it's a it's a velvet prison do you think your insecurity rises when you are being coddled and treated like that mine does yeah i was I was wondering.

[2058] Yeah, mine does.

[2059] I got fortunate in that when I did Fear Factor, I never stopped doing stand -up.

[2060] I never stopped.

[2061] I was always at the store.

[2062] Always.

[2063] I was scared.

[2064] Because I had fucked up during news radio.

[2065] When I was on news radio, I went for a long stretch where I was barely doing stand -up.

[2066] Because we were long hours.

[2067] When a sitcom is first getting...

[2068] It's trying to figure it out.

[2069] It's like 12 -hour days.

[2070] I would do sets, but I wasn't writing any new material.

[2071] And then I had a writer, one of the writers, and one of the producers came to see me. And I ate shit.

[2072] Woo.

[2073] Bombed hard.

[2074] In the main room, like a late show on a Friday night, Friday or Saturday.

[2075] I ate shit.

[2076] I tanked.

[2077] I was so nerd.

[2078] And I see them.

[2079] They were real close.

[2080] They were like fourth row.

[2081] And I'm like, oh, my God.

[2082] This is embarrassing.

[2083] And there was only like maybe 30 people in the whole crowd.

[2084] It was tiny crowd.

[2085] Ray Romano's in the back like, this is who you hired?

[2086] He was already killing it with everybody loves Raymond by then.

[2087] He was happy.

[2088] And Ray was a friend of mine.

[2089] It still is.

[2090] It was, uh, I was happy that I didn't take his job.

[2091] I took the job of the dude who took his job.

[2092] Yeah.

[2093] For me, it was like, okay.

[2094] This is okay.

[2095] But when, when I did that, I realized like, okay, I'm fucking off here.

[2096] I'm just doing this sitcom and I'm, I'm not, I'm losing the thing that I love.

[2097] I'm not good anymore.

[2098] Like, I sucked.

[2099] Yeah.

[2100] And then a year later, I wound up doing my Warner Brothers special.

[2101] My Warner Brothers CD.

[2102] I really got my shit together again.

[2103] I really did.

[2104] I started doing multiple sets around town.

[2105] Yeah.

[2106] I started writing a lot.

[2107] I saw really taking it seriously because I realized like you can't do that You can't fall apart You can't just start bombing No man No man But you get soft man You can get soft and they were making me soft too Like one of the producers was like Why is still doing stand -up?

[2108] You're an actor now Oh Oh oh Yeah But that's what everybody wanted Even Seinfeld took time off He did he did Seinfeld Then stopped doing stand -up Yeah A lot of people got brought into that trap Yeah You know it's hard to get hired as a writer too because it's almost I'm learning it's almost like the difference between improv cats and stand -up cats right so if you're a writer if that's what you do you write then they may feel they may have a certain bias or feel a certain type of way towards a comic that writes and it's like oh you know okay it's like you deal with it everywhere and it's like because you can always leave always and you always have and you have you basically you're sitting in a room and you got you got two jobs you know what I'm saying so it's like we got this job but I'm also going to do this other job yeah like nobody won't be nobody with one job wants to sit next to somebody with two jobs I totally get it you know what I mean especially with comedy because their comedy is kind of unproven yeah like they think they're funny right but how do you know you're funny right I've always wondered that I was like that's a courageous thing that is so courageous right you're a comedy writer and you don't even perform like how do you know if it's funny like who told you you, you're funny.

[2109] I know.

[2110] Who told you?

[2111] Are you sure?

[2112] Malcolm Gladwell?

[2113] Are you sure?

[2114] No, because I really want to listen to him again.

[2115] So I need, I need, I need, I need, I need, we need to talk, man. He's right and he's wrong.

[2116] If he was here right now, he would, I'm sure he would see our perspectives.

[2117] Right.

[2118] And then I could listen to him again because I, I miss it.

[2119] He's right, though.

[2120] In certain ways, he's right.

[2121] It's a very controlled environment.

[2122] But that still isn't, based on what he saw.

[2123] But you know what else?

[2124] I read an article by another guy.

[2125] He's his thing that's happening to, people who, aren't that strong in comedy are writing articles about comedy.

[2126] You know what I mean?

[2127] Like in national thing, you know, who are like this?

[2128] It was like, I'm comic.

[2129] I've seen him.

[2130] He's not, what?

[2131] She's terrible.

[2132] Why are they speaking for us?

[2133] Yeah.

[2134] And you're like, comedians are not a monolith?

[2135] Like, you're like, oh.

[2136] I read this article, this woman wrote about men not being funny and I've seen her act talking about forcing men to eat her pussy.

[2137] And it's one of the worst bits I've ever seen in my life.

[2138] I'm like, this is hilarious.

[2139] Yes.

[2140] But yet she was able to write that thing on that platform.

[2141] And it's like an amazing thing that's happening.

[2142] Like everybody's a pundit, everybody's got an opinion.

[2143] Well, if there's money to be made in clicks, you know, that's what it is.

[2144] If you can, especially if you're writing an article like shitting on someone who's done something wrong, like Louis C .K. or someone else or Aziz Ansari, someone who's gotten in trouble.

[2145] And you go after them.

[2146] And they know that like, that's why the pylon happens.

[2147] Because it gets people attention.

[2148] It's a very profitable, lucrative.

[2149] It is very, yeah, yeah.

[2150] But yeah, there's a lot of people writing stories or articles about comedy where they're dismissive.

[2151] They don't understand what they're talking about.

[2152] Yeah, it's like so many gaps.

[2153] You're like, what do we have?

[2154] Whoa, what's this?

[2155] And, yeah, all that stuff annoys me. And I don't carry it much, but it was so funny because when I sat here, I was like, oh, yeah, Malcolm Gladwell sat here.

[2156] I'm telling you about him.

[2157] Jerry Seinfeld did something like that one time, too.

[2158] He was on, like, HBO talking to Bob Costas about comedy.

[2159] I'm like, why is this happening?

[2160] And he said, and Jerry said, I don't know who the next people are.

[2161] I mean, these young comedians don't study.

[2162] And I took great offense to that.

[2163] They don't study.

[2164] He said, they don't study.

[2165] What does that mean?

[2166] He said, they don't know, they don't study the craft, or they don't know, you know, I guess, who came before them or whatever.

[2167] Generalizations like that are so crazy to say.

[2168] So I'm at Homoza Beach Comedy Magic Club and Jimmy Brogan, who I call like the comic whisper.

[2169] Like he goes, you know, Jerry's performing and you want to come down?

[2170] Of course.

[2171] So I go watch Jerry perform and then he invites me in the green room.

[2172] And when I see Jerry, I couldn't help myself.

[2173] I go, hey man, you can't be going on TV saying comedians don't study.

[2174] He goes, I know you.

[2175] Hey, man, whatever, man. Because I study.

[2176] You can't do that.

[2177] You're dismissing a whole generation.

[2178] People listen to you.

[2179] He goes, all right, man. man, I'm fine.

[2180] You want a cigar?

[2181] Have a seat.

[2182] So then I sit down and I look to my left as Jay Leno is like Kevin Neal and it's like all these heavy hitters.

[2183] But I just saw him and just had to put a, hey, yo, what are you doing?

[2184] Yeah.

[2185] No, you're right.

[2186] But sometimes people say things that are just talking.

[2187] They don't even know if they have a point.

[2188] They're just hoping they get formulated as they're talking.

[2189] Right, but I can't let it go.

[2190] I'm like, oh, you have to find this guy.

[2191] You're right.

[2192] And he was right, too, to let it go.

[2193] be with you.

[2194] He was so chill.

[2195] He was like, hey, all right, man. You want a cigar?

[2196] And I sat there.

[2197] That was easy.

[2198] Mark Norman, who's a friend of mine, does gigs with him.

[2199] He says he's great.

[2200] He said Jerry's a great guy.

[2201] I believe it, man. And he just...

[2202] Well, he still's doing it, and he's got $500 million in the bank.

[2203] And he's still doing it.

[2204] Dude, he's been doing it well since the 80s.

[2205] Like, he's always working on it and honing it.

[2206] He, like, still does it.

[2207] He still does it.

[2208] Like, legitimately.

[2209] He's basically, he's one of those guys that did what you're telling me to do.

[2210] You've got to, you gotta trust it all the way and you just gotta just do it because when you say how do I write some days when all I do is write comedy I go god damn why don't I do this all the time because I could take my bit so yes you know and it's the best and you know how you said that you're consistently inconsistent yeah oh yeah that's a that's a hallmark of a funny person it's a strange thing like most comics are we are very impulsive crazy people right you know we don't necessarily have discipline, you know?

[2211] I'm just very fortunate that I was involved in something else before comedy that required discipline because your fucking physical health is on the line.

[2212] Like you had to have discipline.

[2213] I was going to get my brains kicked in.

[2214] So like that transfer it over to stand up, but it's so easy to fuck off, man. When I come home from the comedy store and it's late at night, a lot of times I just want to go to sleep.

[2215] Yeah.

[2216] I don't want to do anything.

[2217] I want to watch TV.

[2218] I want to fuck off.

[2219] But I sit in front of that goddamn laptop.

[2220] I sit in front of that laptop.

[2221] I'll spark a joint.

[2222] I'll go outside.

[2223] I'll spark a joint.

[2224] That's the best punch.

[2225] Stare at the sky.

[2226] Yeah.

[2227] Come back inside and stare at that laptop and then I'll start riding.

[2228] And I'll force myself.

[2229] I'll say, I'm going to do one hour.

[2230] Maybe I'll do more than one hour, but I'm definitely going to do one hour.

[2231] And I set a timer.

[2232] That's the best punchup.

[2233] Did I ever tell you my Mitch Hedberg story?

[2234] Which one?

[2235] I did ask it with him.

[2236] Whoa.

[2237] When I was 26.

[2238] That's a great story.

[2239] Yeah, man. So me and Mitch met at the Chicago Comedy Festival.

[2240] And we clicked, right?

[2241] And we walked around.

[2242] I was living in Chicago at the time.

[2243] And we walked around.

[2244] He was like, you know, oh, I'm about to be rich, man. He had just signed this deal or whatever in Montreal.

[2245] I couldn't get Montreal to like look at me. But he had just crushed in Montreal.

[2246] He goes, I'm about to be rich, man. He pulls out this Velcro wallet.

[2247] And he goes, you see this ring?

[2248] I live in Seattle.

[2249] I used to pawn this ring so I could eat.

[2250] And then I would go eat and get a gig and then buy it back.

[2251] I'm going to have to do that no more.

[2252] So he just sounds a big deal.

[2253] So he needed a shirt for his HBO half -hour special, the one when he's sitting on the steps.

[2254] And so I helped him pick out that shirt.

[2255] And then I had a gig in Minnesota.

[2256] Like after the festival, he goes, can I ride with you?

[2257] So we road trip to Minnesota because he was from St. Paul.

[2258] I spent a night in his home.

[2259] And that's when I learned he was like a chef and all that stuff.

[2260] So we really clicked and we were bump into each other on the road.

[2261] We were in Houston.

[2262] And he goes, when I decided I wanted to do comedy, I hit acid I took a hit of acid I got my notebook and everything I saw I wrote and I was like I won't be funny like that so I did acid with him and we're both in this hotel and the woman it was a woman who was a dealer and she came over and you know in an hotel room and that's when I learned where cartoons come from like everything I saw was like a fucking cartoon and I was tripping man and he videotaped me tripping and I was and I was I'm going, why is A, A, why is B, B, why is the letter green, green, who said the lecker?

[2263] And I was doing it.

[2264] He's videotape me, and he literally goes, I clearly remember him going, you should do this on stage.

[2265] And I go, stage, stage, stage.

[2266] Like, I'm like, scatting, man. Right.

[2267] And I'm seeing on this thing.

[2268] And then, like, I started, I was on this whole thing.

[2269] like all I kept thinking about was pussy right and I saw and I was dating this girl and this is back when you used a calling card and I only do two numbers by heart my mom's number and hers and I was like I pray that I'm calling the girl as I was talking to her on the phone and I was on the bed and I was like I want your pussy like all that shit is that are you high you know just fucking up the whole thing and I go yeah don't don't do anything don't jump and I was like why are you putting that shit in my head like because whatever she saw I could I could see, like, I could physically see it.

[2270] And then I look over in the bed next to me, and Mitch is like fucking the girl that bought the thing.

[2271] And I'm like, oh, shit, I'm in the orgy, but not really.

[2272] I'm on the phone.

[2273] He's actually doing it.

[2274] I'm virtual reality.

[2275] And then, like, my body started shaking, and the whole shit, like, left my body.

[2276] And so that's how, like, you know, that was my experience.

[2277] I never did it again.

[2278] Never desired to do it again, but I did it with Mitch.

[2279] And it was like this crazy thing.

[2280] And so we used to, we would do colleges separate of one another, and we would leave each other notes and shit, you know.

[2281] And he would be like, kill it, man, or whatever.

[2282] And once I was doing something college and butt fuck, Pennsylvania.

[2283] No, no, you know, it was something butt fuck.

[2284] But it was somewhere in Pennsylvania.

[2285] And he had just done, and that's what I learned about.

[2286] Him passing, like, I was literally reading his note when I heard about the heroin shit.

[2287] Oh man You were reading the note that he wrote to you?

[2288] That he wrote me When the news broke Like did you hear about Mitch And it was like Yeah man Yeah man Me and Stanhope We're on the set Oh I love him man We were uh That's right y 'all did the show together Yeah when we found out that he was real sick Did you go to his wedding No I just happened to be in Vegas I was whatever happened in Vegas I was in that one I was there This was like many years ago Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2289] Yeah, go ahead.

[2290] I told them, what are you doing?

[2291] Yeah, yeah.

[2292] I didn't know I could say that to him.

[2293] I think I was in Vegas independent.

[2294] I was like, but we were cool, so I was there like, this is crazy.

[2295] Yeah, right after he was married, something happened where his girlfriend mouth up to a cop and they bounced their head off the hood and arrested her.

[2296] Jesus, bro.

[2297] Yeah.

[2298] Anyway, we found out that Mitch had been brought to the hospital and they thought he was going to lose his leg because he'd been shooting.

[2299] into this one same area and he got gangrene I was like God damn and then he got free of that and he healed up but he went right back to it he would not you know he didn't have any desire to kick heroin it's really interesting like I'm not and they call me the naive detective like I never knew that he did that because whenever I saw him we were working out we would always go to the gym he was mad competitive like he would run the treadmill really yeah he was like he was competitive like he would he'd like me open for him because he liked to work like he was like he didn't want me to hold back he was like go man like I just that's the side that I saw of him and then when he had to deal with the show and all of that shit he would do material about it because it's it's such a different experience than from what he is you know dealing with the notes of it all and all that shit he was like you know a picture an idea I wanted to do this idea and it became like yeah the dream is not the reality yeah that you know but the dream his dream was his stand -up to this day I'll still like I like to listen to his stand -up when I'm on my way to the airport because it's like stressful and it's like but his stand was so silly so silly so so you know so like my favorite joke is his banana joke somebody asked me do I want a frozen banana I said no but I want a regular banana later so yes Like that He had so much of that That was just I just enjoyed that It was very silly And I didn't You know I don't I don't know What When he got into the heroin I don't know when But Yeah I never knew It's so crazy Like I mean I knew he did his thing But I think People Like people just never did that shit in front of me Right No one ever did it in front of me either But I knew they were doing it I had a buddy money In New York That died from it Wow.

[2300] He was snorting it.

[2301] Yeah, but he got into pills and a lot of this.

[2302] That's what a lot of times they find out about oxies.

[2303] Yeah.

[2304] They snort pills.

[2305] And it's just, opioid, it's just, I mean, that crisis is something that just swept through the entire world.

[2306] I mean, so many people are dying from that shit.

[2307] Yeah, man. I've never done it, but I did get a morphine drip once when I had my knee fixed.

[2308] And he felt great.

[2309] Oh, that's so good.

[2310] He was like, I get it.

[2311] I kept hitting that button.

[2312] I was like, oh.

[2313] You can hit the button every time you wanted some morphine.

[2314] Oh, that's what I hear.

[2315] It's a button.

[2316] It's so simple.

[2317] And I just was like, wow.

[2318] It just made you feel like the world was filled with love, just caressing you.

[2319] Everything was a love, like a womb feeling.

[2320] Like you're protected.

[2321] You're safe.

[2322] You're going to be okay.

[2323] Amazing.

[2324] Which makes sense that a lot of musicians and a lot of people wanted that because so many people that are like really super creative or they're kind of in pain.

[2325] A lot of those people are like, like, when you, when you think of, uh, Nirvana.

[2326] You think of Kurt Cobain, the screaming, all that.

[2327] Like, that's coming from a place of pain, right?

[2328] And then that dude would go off and do heroin.

[2329] Well, I'm glad you're not doing heroin, Owen.

[2330] Nah, fam.

[2331] I was always, you know, you know, um, Lenny Bias passing of, um, cocaine overdose scared me from doing anything.

[2332] Beautiful.

[2333] Because, um, he was all muscle.

[2334] Yeah.

[2335] And I was Like, if cocaine could take him down, I don't stand a chance.

[2336] Like, I've never had a six -pack.

[2337] This dude, I'm amazing.

[2338] You know what I'm saying?

[2339] Yeah, super athlete.

[2340] When that happened, like, that's, my brain was like, oh, that's shit ain't for me. And so, weed, I do, um, I did mushrooms once.

[2341] Shit, my pants.

[2342] On this dude's white couch.

[2343] Oh, no!

[2344] I secretly think I never liked that guy.

[2345] He was like an asshole to me. I'll just purpose just shit on this dumb white couch white carpet ugh and they're like all right man see you we gotta wrap this up it's three o 'clock text owen dot com we'll be at the improv together Wednesday night for the 1030 show Owen smith .com is that your website owensmith live dot com social media owensmith for real but most importantly go to text owen dot com and I'll send you never break his phone try to break his phone break his phone Bye, everybody.

[2346] Bye.