#85 - Ari Shaffir

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[4] Ladies and gentlemen, live on a plane productions presents the second edition.

[5] of podcast on a plane I'm here with my man the one and only Mr. Ari Shafir How are you?

[6] We are on a plane coming back from Sydney, Australia to L .A. It's going to take us 12 hours in space.

[7] Yeah.

[8] It was a fun trip.

[9] We had a great fucking time.

[10] Yeah.

[11] It was awesome.

[12] Sydney was pretty badass.

[13] We put on an impromptu show last night.

[14] That was the highlight of the trip.

[15] That was kind of fun.

[16] Yeah.

[17] Yeah, that was a highlight of the trip.

[18] After, if no one was there, after we did it, we did two shows, like an hour outside of Sydney, and then they had the UFC, the UFC ended like five.

[19] So we're like, let's just do another show.

[20] Yeah, why not?

[21] Yeah.

[22] And we did this show in Rudy Hill, which is like about an hour outside of Sydney, and there was, you know, it's like quite a hall.

[23] There's a lot of people, I'm sure, that didn't want to make that trip, you know.

[24] Yeah.

[25] We didn't have the opportunity to do, like, a place in.

[26] Sydney itself.

[27] So to do that on, you know, on Sunday night.

[28] It was pretty badass.

[29] And do it after the fights.

[30] It was fun.

[31] And we're both in the same spot where it's like, oh, it's hard.

[32] Why do we do this?

[33] Yeah.

[34] Worn out.

[35] Yeah.

[36] But then it's like, oh, yeah, stand up.

[37] That's what we like to do.

[38] Yeah.

[39] And then when we got there, you know, everybody was really cool.

[40] It was a fun crowd.

[41] It was, it was enthusiastic.

[42] And everybody realized that this was kind of a crazy thing that we all, we were all a part of some crazy thing.

[43] We were all pulled together in a couple of hours.

[44] Yeah.

[45] But there's 12 hours.

[46] Yeah.

[47] I'd call Jules at 9 a .m .m. Yeah.

[48] And we had a show at 8.

[49] Yeah.

[50] That's 11 hours later.

[51] That's pretty crazy.

[52] Yeah.

[53] And we did it all through Twitter.

[54] That's all I did.

[55] Yeah.

[56] I know I put it on my message board, too.

[57] But Twitter is where it's at.

[58] It's a crazy little technological device.

[59] It's amazing how fast you can reach somebody like that.

[60] It's nuts, man. You fill a comedy club up in a few hours.

[61] You get back in a full room on a dark night.

[62] There was nothing going out.

[63] They're never open on Sunday.

[64] You know?

[65] The fact that you can do that, like, it's so cool that you can just fucking reach out to people like that, you know?

[66] Dana White is really into that.

[67] He uses that a lot with the UFC, with tickets.

[68] I've always thought of going down it to his little, he's a scavenger hunt, you know?

[69] Oh, does he do that?

[70] Yeah, he'd be like, if anyone can find me, I'm in somewhere in Century City, and then I'll be like, I'm at the Old Navy, and whoever prefers to find him, like, two, three tickets.

[71] It's the U .S. Wow.

[72] Wow.

[73] It makes it very easy to stalk him.

[74] It's super easy to stalking, Dana White.

[75] Damn White's like the easiest stalking target ever.

[76] Wow, that's funny.

[77] Yeah, well, it's fucking, it's an amazing social, networking tool, you know, that you can actually do that.

[78] There's never been a time in history where, you know, a guy like you, an independent comedian can, you know, put together a Twitter list of, you know, 20, 30 ,000 people, and out of that in any given city there's going to be a couple hundred, you say, hey, I'm doing a show, you know, and 200 people from Austin, show about your show.

[79] It's really that simple.

[80] It's an amazing way of connecting to people.

[81] Yeah, you told me that last week, at Brea, you were like, couldn't figure out.

[82] What Chris Rock, a movie that was from, that he was in, that he asked for him.

[83] Yeah, that's right.

[84] Yeah, you're like, put it on Twitter, they'll tell you, immediately they'll tell you.

[85] Yeah, it was, we were asking about, there was a Chris Rock bit that he used to do in his act that he did in a movie.

[86] We couldn't figure out what movie was, was he wanted to do to his bargaining.

[87] Let me get one rib.

[88] Yeah, just give him a little bit ago.

[89] We, yeah, so we put it on Twitter and seconds later.

[90] It's amazing.

[91] There's like 12 right answers and someone else was wrong, and then 14 more right answers.

[92] Crazy.

[93] People were just happy to help out.

[94] You know?

[95] And just, that's what I have to do.

[96] Just throw it out there, man. It's never been a time like this.

[97] You know, every other comedian, every other generation needed radio stations, TV stations, and all that stuff still helps.

[98] But it's never been like this where you can just do it all on your own.

[99] Somebody, Nick Toon was telling me once, it was like they're going to move the big day for movies from Friday to Saturday in terms of, like, industry, like what it means to their overall, like how much they're going to get.

[100] Because they said the social networking, everyone gets so fast.

[101] I'm sorry.

[102] They're going to forget Saturday and make it all Friday.

[103] Because people get the word so fast.

[104] It's like in real time, people are seeing it, and then the word is getting out.

[105] So, if it sucks.

[106] Yeah, people will know immediately.

[107] And Saturday will be dead, it will be really good.

[108] Oh, that's an interesting thing, isn't it?

[109] Because, I mean, how many times, like, back in the day, before there was, like, internet reviews, did you go see some shitty movie that you just got unlucky that nobody told you it sucked?

[110] Yeah, no one was around.

[111] Who else saw it?

[112] Nobody.

[113] third time's brother saw it it's amazing when you look at movies just from a few decades ago it's amazing how much social evolution you see like how much the movies of 20, 30 years ago they're so bad so many of them are so awful that you say there's no way people could not have realized it was this awful back then but here's the deal they didn't they didn't because things weren't it wasn't the same standard of judgment back then so you think we all got smarter or more interesting.

[114] Therefore, that was interesting back then, but now we can all along relate to it.

[115] It's too simple.

[116] Movies are much more sophisticated now.

[117] We demand much more.

[118] Once you hit like a movie like Apocalypse now, you can't ever go back to those 1950 stupid war movies where it looked like they were on a set and those fake palm trees and shit and the acting sucked.

[119] To stay on a stage as long.

[120] Everybody's acting was corny as fuck.

[121] It was never realistic, you know.

[122] I saw Rain Man. That's one of the movies with those Oscar things.

[123] Did you watch it?

[124] I watched it like a year ago for the first time.

[125] It's horrible.

[126] It's terrible.

[127] It's like, it's such an over -the -top character.

[128] Yeah.

[129] I've got no ties to anyone.

[130] Yeah.

[131] Clearly that guy.

[132] Let's set it up in the first five minutes.

[133] I know, right?

[134] It's like, ugh.

[135] It's terrible.

[136] Yeah.

[137] But it seemed awesome back then.

[138] Sure.

[139] Back then, that movie was a badass movie.

[140] You know, something's happened.

[141] People have evolved.

[142] Yeah.

[143] There's only a few movies that really hold up where you can watch them.

[144] You know, a few blockbusters from me. 80s especially, where you can watch them and go, yeah, this is still a pretty badass movie, but for the most part, don't watch Star Wars.

[145] No, it's terrible.

[146] If you want to still love your childhood, don't watch Star Wars again.

[147] It's awful.

[148] It's so sad.

[149] Everybody's like, why did Star Wars 3 and 4?

[150] Why'd they suck so bad?

[151] Really?

[152] Because the first one sucked, too.

[153] It just didn't suck back then.

[154] Haven't seen him in 25 years.

[155] It didn't suck back then.

[156] Back then it was awesome.

[157] Dude, I saw Star Wars 13 times when I was a kid.

[158] Really?

[159] Dude, I was a huge Star Wars.

[160] fan.

[161] I went to see it over and over again.

[162] I would go with my friends.

[163] It was the first movie that I'd even heard of where people would talk about how many times do you've seen it.

[164] Oh yeah.

[165] We would have like competitions.

[166] I'd be like, I've seen Star Wars 10 times.

[167] I saw it 13 times, man. I wouldn't stop going.

[168] It was amazing.

[169] I don't remember last time I've seen a movie twice in the theater.

[170] Yeah, it was ridiculous.

[171] But it's, but it's childish behavior.

[172] It's something that my daughter would do.

[173] My two -year -old would do.

[174] Yeah.

[175] It's not like you'd be tired of it.

[176] But there's something to it where you just, for some weird reason, you just want to watch it over and over and over and it's like it's a spastic retarded sort of a thing i said i was gonna do that with inception but then i never did with inception really i was like oh i got to watch that again but then it's like no i didn't i didn't that movie was too much for me there was too much going on i thought it was a really interesting movie and it was really they took a lot of chances and there's a lot of unique thoughts in it and the way they they set up the environment where the sky could fold over itself and back that was brilliant it was brilliant brilliant stuff but there was too much but it was like, okay, this is like a dream, like, because this is, like, working, like, a video game every time you point and shoot, the people go down.

[177] Like, that's dumb to me. Like, this is, I know I'm supposed to, like, accept that this is a dream.

[178] It's hard with that dream within a dream stuff, where you're like...

[179] Yeah, what does that mean?

[180] But, yeah, you lose me a little bit.

[181] That had time travel.

[182] You always, like, yeah.

[183] Like, what's the...

[184] What happened there, and you can go back and forth?

[185] You know what freaks me out, man, the idea of being able to transport something through the air, you know?

[186] Because they're talking about, like, that Star Trek type shit.

[187] Remember transporters?

[188] One of those things?

[189] They used to beam people up.

[190] It's the fly.

[191] Yeah, they're talking about that being a real possibility someday.

[192] I mean, I think they've done it with, like, quantum objects.

[193] I think they've done it with, you know, with almost immeasurably small things.

[194] But I think they're really thinking that one day you're going to be able to transport manner from one place to another place.

[195] And hope the power doesn't go out in the middle.

[196] Right.

[197] Yeah, that was always one episode of all the Star Trek, but somebody got lost in the transport.

[198] Yeah.

[199] And that was it.

[200] They didn't know where they were.

[201] It was gone.

[202] Or that's another dimension.

[203] That's so scary, dude.

[204] Do you think that would happen in our lifetime?

[205] I don't know, man. I'm too stupid.

[206] I'm way too stupid to know.

[207] You know, I would just be guessing it out of the top of my ass.

[208] You're like, yes.

[209] Yeah, who the fuck knows?

[210] I don't understand what it would take to do that.

[211] I don't understand how far they really are.

[212] The real thing, the real question is, once artificial intelligence starts taking over.

[213] That's the real thing.

[214] because then things are going to happen so fast there's going to be so much acceleration that yet it could be within our lifetime because what artificial intelligence is going to be is like they're going to have a computer that can think much, much faster than a person and can think for itself and then once it does that, if you decide to have this computer make new and better computers, it's going to make new or better computers like instant.

[215] They're going to just like, they're going to instantly start creating and figuring out exactly how to do.

[216] It's going to accelerate way past what we're capable of.

[217] So, you know, what's that out?

[218] I heard this thing on NPR.

[219] The only reason I mentioned NPR, I guess, is the same smart.

[220] But they were talking about the supercomputers that beat this Jeopardy guy.

[221] Oh, yeah.

[222] And they're the ones that beat the Jeopardy guys?

[223] I think so.

[224] And they're the ones that beat the chess players back in the 80s.

[225] Right.

[226] Big Blue.

[227] So he built this Big Blue to beat this chess player.

[228] And at first, I think Big Blue beat him.

[229] And the second match was either a stalemate or what's the name, beat Big Blue.

[230] but they said that not even a chess master but a regular good chess player with a simple computer can be big blue like every time wow yeah just something simple to calculate I don't know I don't understand chess enough but to calculate it odd to tell me any sort of professional chess player I watched some chess videos online the other day just for a goof I was I was online and just flipping through different YouTube videos and I saw this speed chess video.

[231] So I watched these guys do it.

[232] Yeah, it was a world speed chess championship.

[233] It was pretty badass because the guy lost because he ran out of time.

[234] But do you have a total amount of time total?

[235] Yeah, I think he had two minutes.

[236] I think they have two minutes for the full game.

[237] And sometimes they're moving ridiculously fast.

[238] Like, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[239] It's so exciting because it's got that added element of time to it.

[240] I'm like, yeah.

[241] Somebody should put that on television, man, I'm telling you.

[242] Speed chess.

[243] Yeah, because I barely know how to play chess.

[244] I know how the moves go I know which way they move But I don't under Nothing, I know no stress I take stupid chances I get fucking checkmated all the time What do you think about this?

[245] Yeah, like checkmate Like, oh, that's what you think, okay I'm too ADD to be I'm not saying that I'm too ADD playing, whenever I think about any game like chess, chess to me is just like pool I'm scared of it I'm scared of anything that I become massively addicted to And I see people that get addicted to chess How it turns addicted?

[246] Yeah, yeah It's an amazing game It's an amazing game.

[247] It's an amazing game.

[248] It's completely compelling.

[249] I don't have any more time for any more compelling shit in my life.

[250] I just don't.

[251] I can't get hooked on something else between Jiu -Jitsu and pool and comedy.

[252] Are you playing video games at all now?

[253] No, I won't let myself.

[254] You don't play.

[255] I don't let myself.

[256] I don't allow myself to play video games.

[257] That's why I won't allow myself to go online with video games.

[258] Right band's always trying to get me to go online.

[259] Like, good a lot if we can play together.

[260] I'm like, when I buy a game now, when it's only story mode, you won't see me for two weeks.

[261] Yeah.

[262] Until I beat that game, I'm not pretty much going out.

[263] I've over slept spots.

[264] Like, I've fallen asleep at like 5 p .m. Just crazy schedule.

[265] I'm like, I overslept at 10 .45 p .m. That is truly a comic's life right there.

[266] You know, the fact that you could do that.

[267] Do that and know how damaging is, but still, like, man. It's so funny.

[268] Is that everybody, or do we have, like, a certain personality flaw that makes us be addicted to things outside?

[269] I think it's like, we don't have any real responsibility.

[270] Right.

[271] I go on stage for myself and to get better overall.

[272] Right.

[273] But, I mean, if I just don't, I'll be in a little trouble, I guess, for skipping spots, but not really.

[274] What is it about the games, though, that make you so addicted?

[275] I mean, it's, really, we're in danger of someone coming up with an artificial reality that's way more fascinating than regular.

[276] Yeah.

[277] Thank you.

[278] You know, I mean, could you imagine if they figured out some sort of, you know, remember what the, you thought you'd be able to wear helmets and you'd be able to have a virtual reality helmet?

[279] Completely disappear.

[280] But that never panned out.

[281] for some reason.

[282] But that doesn't mean it can't pan out still.

[283] They can't, they might just figure out a way to do it just a year from now or something like that, it'll all come together.

[284] It's not like the idea was sort of ahead of the technology.

[285] Yeah.

[286] But if they do come up with the technology that's in line with the idea and they come up with something.

[287] Amazingly, ladies and gentlemen, this podcast on a plane almost never happened, folks.

[288] It almost fell apart because my iPhone ran out of room.

[289] I got a bunch of stupid movies on this thing, you know?

[290] So I had to unsink my movie collection because I like watching movies on my phone.

[291] So we were able to doing the podcast, and even though it ran out of room, it still saved the file and uploaded it to iTunes, and we were just shocked at how good that was.

[292] We looked on the actual phone, and it said, this voice memo was zero seconds.

[293] We were like, fuck, it did not save it at all.

[294] We were like, maybe plug it in.

[295] Apple's really good at that usually.

[296] Yeah.

[297] Like saving stuff that you just, blue for some reason.

[298] You didn't plug in your fucking.

[299] They know we're idiots.

[300] Yeah, I've done that before where I accidentally let my power go out while I was writing something, and then you go back to it, and it's completely saved every time.

[301] I've never had nothing.

[302] It's amazing.

[303] It's there.

[304] Would you like to revert?

[305] Like, oh, yes.

[306] Because I remember like Windows 95, man. I remember when, you know, when things just would just shut down the middle of you working, and that was it.

[307] It was gone forever.

[308] No. Everything he worked on was gone.

[309] It's a file.

[310] Deleted.

[311] Don't you back up?

[312] Like, shut the fuck on.

[313] Back up.

[314] Remember when you have to back up on zip drives?

[315] Remember that?

[316] These fucking stupid one megabyte zip drives.

[317] One megabyte.

[318] It's amazing how...

[319] I know.

[320] It's fucking crazy how, like, what was big just a little while ago, ain't shit, you know?

[321] They have these little cool -ass keychains that are 32 -gig USB drives.

[322] Big, these...

[323] Yeah, a little gigabyte USB drives.

[324] Little tiny things, man. Those little little little...

[325] little slide -in USB drives, they're so big now.

[326] They're like 30 gigs, 40 gigs.

[327] My first computer that I still was using nine years ago was a 3 .5 gig and a 6 .5 gig.

[328] I added a 6 .5 gig to get it up in 10.

[329] I wonder what the biggest.

[330] I wonder if there's a 64 -gig, like, slide -in USB drive.

[331] What is the biggest?

[332] Oh, for slide -in?

[333] Yeah, those little tiny ones, the little thumb drives?

[334] Yeah, I don't know.

[335] It must be something awesome.

[336] It must be.

[337] The thing is you just turn your back for a couple of weeks, and they're, you know, twice as big.

[338] Yeah.

[339] It's weird, you know?

[340] It's like the amount of data that you can save in a little tiny area now is so huge.

[341] It's small and more and more data.

[342] 32 gigs.

[343] My phone is filled with shit.

[344] Yeah, you're shut off.

[345] It's a technical order.

[346] My first computer, the hard drive was four gigabytes.

[347] Four.

[348] And this is 32 on a phone.

[349] On a phone.

[350] You know?

[351] Before you know it, it'll be 64.

[352] I thought.

[353] Well, I was one of the 64.

[354] I'm hoping the other phone.

[355] I bet it will.

[356] They sell movies.

[357] Why would they mean this is the reason why we have a problem?

[358] Because I have all these movies that I bought and it syncs up to it and it takes up space.

[359] That doesn't make sense for them like financially.

[360] You would think they would want to have as much room as they can.

[361] Yeah, another one and another one.

[362] Yeah, and have some.

[363] No, it would be nice if you had like a storage drive too, like a little removable one.

[364] A little 64 gig removable one.

[365] Are you something you could add if you want?

[366] Yeah, why not man?

[367] They have that in those droid phones.

[368] To our phones have removable ones.

[369] A lot of them do.

[370] And you'll be able to pass stuff from phone to phone.

[371] Yeah, yeah.

[372] That's what people don't like.

[373] Yeah.

[374] But you know what?

[375] They're going to be able to pass the phone.

[376] They do that bump thing now.

[377] You can't do context just by being close.

[378] Yeah.

[379] You can't do anything real big, I don't think.

[380] I don't think you can do like a big file yet.

[381] But yeah, you're right.

[382] That's just a matter of time.

[383] And it's like people know how to pull things off the phone, put it on a computer and then just email it to you.

[384] I mean, remember when Apple got rid of floppy drives?

[385] Yes.

[386] We're just not having them.

[387] And they're like, what do you do?

[388] What do you mean?

[389] But like, the technology will catch up.

[390] We should be done with these now.

[391] And then it did.

[392] You don't need them at all anymore.

[393] You need a CD for a while, and now nothing.

[394] Foppy drives are so stupid.

[395] They look like something from some 1950s science fiction movie.

[396] You know, a little disc that you stick in and there's data on the disc.

[397] What was it?

[398] One megabyte.

[399] Was that what it was?

[400] You get up to three, I think.

[401] Only, like, Word files.

[402] Word perfect files.

[403] So what was it?

[404] If that, you get three, really, three gigabobiles?

[405] It might have been at the end, three megabytes.

[406] Maybe early on it was different.

[407] Well, there's a floppy floppy that would actually flop around.

[408] So what was a zip drive?

[409] Was that like 100 megabytes then?

[410] The early ones?

[411] Maybe 25 megabytes, 50 megabytes?

[412] Yeah.

[413] A hundred.

[414] So I'm like, you can get a lot of floppy desks on one.

[415] No one ever would have thought that you'd be able to have movies online.

[416] You would just download movies online.

[417] Yeah.

[418] Nobody really thought that was going out.

[419] It was pretty quickly.

[420] Yeah.

[421] I just moved up to Uverse, and it has made my, illegal downloading so much easier.

[422] Oh yeah, ATTU verse?

[423] It's like, boom, I'm going to get so much more stuff now.

[424] And you have, that makes your phone line, your TV.

[425] No phone, no TV.

[426] I don't do that.

[427] You didn't get that?

[428] No. So you just want ATTU verse just for the internet?

[429] I got the TV just so I get a special deal on the setup so they could wave installation.

[430] And then I immediately called and said, I don't want this.

[431] Wow.

[432] Yeah.

[433] So like unhook it.

[434] So you got no TV?

[435] No TV.

[436] You got an animal, dude.

[437] Look at you.

[438] I have a little.

[439] network channels of value.

[440] Unconnected to the system, R -ish fear.

[441] I love it.

[442] How common?

[443] I've wasted so much time on that TV.

[444] So I had cable?

[445] It was crazy.

[446] And people like, why can't just look away, but it's like, I don't know how to explain addiction to you.

[447] It's like some people are more addicted to others, and I couldn't look away.

[448] Just like goddamn video games, right?

[449] I mean, that's what we were getting into this before the power went out.

[450] But what the hell is it about games that get you so addicted?

[451] Yeah.

[452] And I'm sure there's people who can be like, no, just play a couple.

[453] A couple levels, I'll pay for 30 minutes, then back to my family.

[454] It's like, I can't, I can't imagine.

[455] Yeah.

[456] You get roped in.

[457] It gets crazy.

[458] You're also, you play a lot of poker, too.

[459] And you'll go and, you know, and you'll play for hours and hours and hours.

[460] I'm not for 10 hours sometimes.

[461] Wow.

[462] Down to the casino for 10 hours.

[463] Man. I got my headphones and my fucking, just listen to albums.

[464] Wow.

[465] That's crazy.

[466] Superstone.

[467] Women never understand that.

[468] They can never understand.

[469] My, um, Mrs. Rogan was, um, Me and Max Eberley were playing pool.

[470] We were playing pool for like fucking eight hours.

[471] And, you know, she came downstairs after eight hours.

[472] And she's like, you guys are still playing?

[473] It's like, what the fuck you guys do me?

[474] Like your mom would come down when your friend was sleeping over.

[475] Exactly.

[476] You're still up.

[477] When you get into pool, when you get into like a game pool, where it's like this really precise control, you're trying to execute, and you're trying to move these balls around, and perfect order.

[478] You're literally applying force.

[479] Yeah.

[480] Wow.

[481] I've had many of those.

[482] That's a lot of bending over.

[483] and like it doesn't your body sort of wear out of life?

[484] I'm an athlete son.

[485] You don't understand, son.

[486] You don't get sore?

[487] Well no, not really, man. Jiu -jitsu and cowbells and all that shit?

[488] I mean, you get tired at the end, but it's not, you don't get sore.

[489] You're bending over, you're supporting yourself on the table.

[490] You're never bending over really where you're not supporting yourself.

[491] You support yourself on your bridge hand.

[492] It's not that bad.

[493] I'm pretty flexible, so it doesn't bother me. But I don't even think about that.

[494] All I think about is that I'm trying to get perfect on every ball.

[495] I'm trying to figure out.

[496] exactly how much force I have to exert on the cue to hit the cue ball to collide into the object ball and then go a couple rails off to get in line for the next ball and becomes an obsession.

[497] So do you think you're better six hours in than you are 20 minutes or an hour in?

[498] 100%.

[499] Wow.

[500] You're better after.

[501] Jose Periki used to say that he doesn't even get warmed up until eight hours into a game.

[502] And then he starts, like, that's when he gets in stroke.

[503] Yeah, that's when he gets in stroke.

[504] Wow.

[505] And it really is true, man. When you play for a long, long stretches, you get loose and you get connected to the movement, like really connected to the movement of moving a pool queue and making a ball collide into other balls.

[506] You get, the more you do it, the more, you know, you tune into the exact force that's required.

[507] You get really accustomed to the cue.

[508] So it's like one of those things where you can't just play pool for five minutes.

[509] I mean, you can, but that's not where the good pool is.

[510] The good pool is five out.

[511] Real touch.

[512] Yeah, you get in five hours in, man. You know, like my friend Justin from The Action Report, the big guy that we play pool with, him and I have had some fucking sessions to five or five in the morning.

[513] Yeah, man. Just get going.

[514] Pool players keep going.

[515] I'd play with you for a long time before.

[516] I'd never do for like four or five hours.

[517] Remember Brian would go crazy?

[518] Because he'd take it out with us.

[519] Yeah, on the road, somewhere in Denver, show on early, we'd tell all night.

[520] You know, it's like, why don't we go out of this pool bar?

[521] Brian, it's like, no. Yeah, he would get mad.

[522] He would get mad.

[523] He would play pool a couple times from us.

[524] Now he hates it.

[525] You play two games, then you go on.

[526] No, no. He doesn't, well, Brian's very different for us, you know, which is going to be interesting to see what happens to him as a comedian.

[527] What kind of a comedian he's going to turn into, you know?

[528] Because he's got a lot of the regular comedian.

[529] Attributes?

[530] Neurosicists and attributes.

[531] Yeah.

[532] It's interesting, because he's also done this thing where, one, I mean, he's really just starting to stand up, but he started 10, 12 years ago, and then stopped.

[533] But it's like he was still in his brain a little bit.

[534] So, like, you know, if you take a week off, he'd still, like, worked the bits out a little bit.

[535] Not as much as if you were on stage, but a little bit.

[536] It takes work.

[537] So he's gotten that.

[538] And he started again four years ago or so.

[539] So he came, so he still, and then he's hanging around with, like, saying some top, top level comedy.

[540] Yeah.

[541] You know, with us and around L .A., so it's like he's got the bar set really high.

[542] And so it's like, that'd be more interesting than somebody random just started.

[543] Well, it's way better than starting in a bubble in, like, you know, Columbus, Ohio.

[544] where he started, where there wasn't really that many good local comics, yeah.

[545] Yeah, he's in the biggest, I mean, there's arguably two places where the best comedians congregate.

[546] It's New York and it's LA, that's it.

[547] And he's in one of those.

[548] And which one you think is better, it's arguable.

[549] I don't know.

[550] They're both valid responses.

[551] There's a lot of great comics in L .A. and there's a lot of great comics in New York.

[552] I mean, I think it's probably pretty equal.

[553] I mean, I think maybe the seller is responsible for, like, some of the, like, really truly.

[554] great stories of New York come out of there where guys pop in and do sets and kill and cry.

[555] That's the number one coolest place in New York yeah the number one cool pop in spot too like well famous people like you know Chris Rock will show up and you know those kind of guys will show up and do sets it's like they call it like the most honest club that's like a real hot bed for sure yeah but then so was the improv you know the improv in L .A. people stop in there all the time there's a lot of good comics that are always you see people just going and not even going up you're stopping in full of it get a drink.

[556] Maybe overall I might give New York an edge.

[557] But it's pretty close.

[558] I would give them both an edge.

[559] I give New York an edge because the comics, once you start full stand -up comedy, two years in, you know, something like that, where you're a comic, they can get up more.

[560] They can do more sets.

[561] And to a degree, practice makes perfect.

[562] Right.

[563] Maybe.

[564] Maybe.

[565] But the best of the best of New York moved to L .A. Well, not really.

[566] Louis C .K. didn't move to L .A. No, a couple did it.

[567] A little bit.

[568] Louis and Dave a tail, who knows where he is.

[569] But it's like Bill burr moves and you move and it's like all these people I moved before I was good yeah but I got get successful then come over I got way better once I came to LA I was half decent but I was you know six years in the comedy I was clumsy you know yeah when I came to I mean I started out in 88 and when I came to LA it was 94 so it was really that I did not have that much time in comedy you know so that's one of the reasons why like like the best place to work out is the place that you have the most time.

[570] That's the best place to work out.

[571] You need a lot of people, but the New York clubs, you can get up a lot, but a lot of people are doing like seven, ten -minute sets, they're doing short sets, which is great.

[572] I mean, they're very entertaining, but I think when you have a ten -minute set, there's a certain type of comedy that you do.

[573] You don't ramble as much.

[574] You don't go into certain, like, weird subjects.

[575] No time.

[576] So I've barely had time for the children who want to tell.

[577] And there's some bits that don't work unless there's an understanding of how my brain works, like we're synced up with the audience, and then once you know you're gonna have this sense of how fucked up my thinking is, and I'll let you in on it, and then when I tell you something else, then you'll understand why I'm even talking about this in the first place.

[578] You can't do that in 10 minutes.

[579] Touched on this before he died once, where he was talking about just for like a last comic standing interview, he was saying how this difference between being on the road and city comedy.

[580] And it's like, each one is valid, he said.

[581] And then I started thinking about it.

[582] I'm like, they're just different stuff.

[583] Like if you would do a full hour for six months, you're going to be in a different way than if you're doing two 15 minutes sets every single day.

[584] Yeah, a lot of guys, I don't even think they're doing 15, so a lot of 10s going, you know?

[585] Even tighter.

[586] Yeah.

[587] I think that's good when you're starting to stand up because you have to learn how to get a crowd on your side.

[588] Right.

[589] As many times as possible learning to get the crowd on your side.

[590] But then at some point, you know how to get the crowd on your side.

[591] So then it becomes like, I need to go over this material.

[592] Yeah.

[593] And then the time becomes better and more value.

[594] I definitely think there's something to going up in a bunch of a bunch of different audiences, a bunch of times a day too, you know, just re -experiencing the opening over and over and over again, which is the hardest part of your set, the opening.

[595] If you lose a crowd, that's where you'll lose them, almost always.

[596] So you're re -experiencing the opening over and over again instead of just doing one opening and then easing your way into root material and then going on and getting the crowd and finishing your set.

[597] You know, when you're doing these short sets, it's like you're doing the hardest part over and over and over.

[598] I think of ways to, because everyone wants to close strong.

[599] So you've got to keep thinking of ways, you know, cramming.

[600] How are it goes wrong?

[601] Over, over, over.

[602] Yeah, it's interesting.

[603] It's crazy art for it, man. But it's weird that there's only, like, I guess San Francisco's got a good reputation, too, as does Austin.

[604] Those are two other places.

[605] And Boston did at one time, but I don't know if it does anymore.

[606] I don't hear anything.

[607] But those are, like, clearly, like, second metal stuff.

[608] I don't hear anything about Boston anymore, you know?

[609] Do you, do you ever hear about guys coming from Boston?

[610] No, an occasional guy, but it's just as much as.

[611] Phoenix or any other random city you know not like a scene of people coming out that's a crazy thing to see I was never like Seattle and Portland people they're starting to make a presence really yeah well anywhere with his weed in Seattle and Portland there's a ton of weeds you know try to find a sober comedian up there good luck you know I did a show in Portland and the tea is here oh we're like gentlemen by the buckles yeah it's white one there I think so.

[612] We're sitting here having tea like gentlemen.

[613] What are these two different types of tea?

[614] Um, I don't know.

[615] That's a good question.

[616] I don't know.

[617] Pop it up there, there we go.

[618] Nice.

[619] Um, I don't know.

[620] What did you get?

[621] I didn't get anything.

[622] Oh, he gave me two.

[623] One's peppermint and one's English breakfast.

[624] Mmm.

[625] peppermint and English breakfast I don't drink tea I only drink tea at like Chinese places This is the part of the podcast that sucks What, can you get the food if you get a drink?

[626] No, we're just talking about our tea now I really gets a shit Let me pause this stuff Is the best thing that I'll pause this, we'll be right back Yeah, you'll do that right Yeah Hold on, hold on, let me say this for a bit 15 minutes What?

[627] You want to say something?

[628] Yeah, the best thing I ever heard Tiger Woods say is me and Renazizi did a commercial with him and they instructed us all we had to do is play Tiger Woods golf against like EA sports against Tiger Woods talk some trash right they told specific rules don't be dirty don't talk about his wife don't talk about his dad who just died which we wouldn't do right and but they're like don't be dirty and he so he comes in well fine whatever he comes in he goes what's up bitch is ready to do this shit like who's like who said that to be dirt it's just some guys who don't know him at all right at some point they offered him like um they offered him like uh some tea or whatever he goes Oh, no, I don't drink out of coffee, whatever it was, as handlers.

[629] And then Steve's like, oh, me either.

[630] I don't like hot liquids, you know, in my mouth.

[631] And Tiger was because, I got some hot liquid for your mouth right here.

[632] You're so fucking cool.

[633] You're the coolest guy.

[634] That's hilarious.

[635] He grew up on Muni golf courses.

[636] Of course he's dirty.

[637] Is that he grew up on?

[638] Yeah, public golf courses.

[639] Public golf courses are just dirty, is that what I would say?

[640] It's like caddyshack stuff.

[641] It's like the people who worked in caddyshacks.

[642] Are they like cool all?

[643] Same kind of thing?

[644] If you go there every day.

[645] But just like pool, is some people like, it's Saturday night, I'll come with a day, you do a pool hall.

[646] Right.

[647] Be right next to the gendered gamblers.

[648] A lot of golfers are big gamblers, right?

[649] Mm -hmm, yeah.

[650] What's that about?

[651] Is that just something to make it more interesting.

[652] I don't know.

[653] Gambling on golf.

[654] It lends itself to gambling somehow.

[655] You can make a handicap system that works really well.

[656] Well, I'll tell you, man, when you're playing pool, nothing makes it more exciting than even having five bucks on the line.

[657] Remember when you and I would play for the World Championship?

[658] I would give Ari, what did I give you, the eight ball or something?

[659] You gave me the seven and the seven and the nine.

[660] Seven and the nine, yeah.

[661] But seven wasn't wild.

[662] Were we playing ten ball or nine ball?

[663] Nine ball.

[664] Okay, so I just gave you the seven ball.

[665] Yeah.

[666] I gave Ari the call seven.

[667] Call seven and I, wow.

[668] For pool players.

[669] But it would be fun.

[670] We would battle it out for five bucks.

[671] I mean, the table time was more than five bucks, but it wasn't the point.

[672] The point was like, we were really trying to win.

[673] You know, it's a weird thing when you get into a game And you're really, really, really trying to win.

[674] You figure out how to run a rack out when you're really nervous and shit.

[675] It doesn't make any sense.

[676] You need something to make it competitive.

[677] That's all you need.

[678] Just five bucks.

[679] That's why I say like watching fights when you're gambling on the fights is so much more exciting.

[680] You know, that's one of the coolest things about when we used to go to those fights in Vegas.

[681] You know, when they had the WFA and a bunch of different small organizations, you can go bet on them, man. That's the greatest thing.

[682] I'd left.

[683] Like, Mandalay, MGM, there's a time.

[684] It was like, 15 minutes until the next fight.

[685] Dia's like, okay, go, put the money on this, here's 40 for this, and 20 for that, and you're like, okay, and you run down there to the sportsbook as fast as possible, come running back?

[686] I've never asked anybody if I'm allowed to bet on the UFC, because I don't want to hear the answer.

[687] But you have no outcome on the fight.

[688] Yeah, I have no way to influence the outcome.

[689] But I can't influence the way people feel about fighters, which I don't ever try to do deliberately, although people accuse me of it.

[690] It's just my opinions.

[691] Everybody has different opinions, you know.

[692] I mean, even when my friends are fighting, like George Soderopoulos is a good friend.

[693] I've trained with that guy a bunch of times.

[694] I like him a lot.

[695] I've hung out with him at night with him and his wife, and he's a great guy.

[696] But when he was fighting Dennis Siver, I'm like, De Nesever's a fucking beast, man. And once you're in there, I have to look at you for what your flaws are, what your strengths are, with your weaknesses.

[697] And with Sauteroplas, I'm like, he's got to work on his takedowns, man. He can't take this guy down.

[698] And this guy is a fucking gorilla.

[699] Dennis Sever's a big, fucking scary gorilla.

[700] He's a bad motherfucker.

[701] I'm a Dennis Heaver fan.

[702] You know, even though George is a good friend of mine, and I'm a Dennis Heaver fan.

[703] I think he's a fucking monster.

[704] You know, it's people think that you're, you can influence the fight, but you really can't.

[705] But I wonder if it would be against some sort of law if I'd gamble.

[706] You'd think they would tell you.

[707] Being a Vegas -based organization?

[708] You would think, right?

[709] Maybe they would say this retard isn't stupid enough to think he could fucking gamble off fights.

[710] Everybody knows, clearly you can't gamble, right?

[711] Well, I probably fucking could make some money, man. I could make some money.

[712] I'm pretty goddamn good at picking fights.

[713] I would say I'm probably more than 50%.

[714] I mean, with MMA, shit, you really almost never know.

[715] You have an insider knowledge, though.

[716] Yeah.

[717] If you're talking about, like, people want to bet on whichever football team, whichever fighter that they think is better, you have more of a reason to think someone's better or worse than other people.

[718] You have a better knowledge of the game.

[719] Right, but what would be creepy is if you knew some shit, some inside shit.

[720] Like, if you knew about, like, a knee injury or something like that, if that was the case, I would never bet, bet on the fight.

[721] There's no way I would bet on something if I had some freaky knowledge.

[722] But if you're just like after the way and you're like, he looked good, then that's not insider knowledge.

[723] Yeah, yeah.

[724] But I think, you know, betting against the fighter when you know he's jacked, that seems to me like cheating.

[725] That seems to me like insider trading.

[726] Right.

[727] Right, doesn't it?

[728] I always tell my friends, like the insider trading, all I get for them is when they tell me what people were saying and sometimes it's like, like Chucladella after some before he's, uh, uh, uh, Anderson, not Anderson Silva.

[729] What's the fucking Silva's name?

[730] No, Silva.

[731] No, Silva.

[732] When Chuck Adele fought Silva?

[733] What the fuck?

[734] Vanderleigh.

[735] Yeah, before that, and after the way ends.

[736] Why the fuck could I not think of Vanderleys?

[737] Yeah, it's one of the best silvers, right?

[738] For some reason, I was trying to think of, I don't know, I think of him as an 185 pounder now for some stupid reason.

[739] But I remember all the trainers and stuff that I have friends with, they're like, ooh, Chuck looked good.

[740] I'm like, oh, I guess Chuck looks good then.

[741] I have no idea how to tell that, but that I tell him my friends, hey, Chuck was good.

[742] Right.

[743] Well, Chuck always look good.

[744] Yeah.

[745] Chuck was The prime years of Chuck You know, back when he knocked out Randy Couture Two times in a row And he knocked out Babelieu And he just knocking out everybody He knocked out Vernon Tiger Wilde I mean he just knocked out everybody fought Man everybody fought He went in there guns blazing And blasted him away for like years He was the first one that was on the billboard At the Hyatt That covered the whole side He was the first one of MMA that was on there For like a while Dude when Chuck Ladell in his heyday Man what a fucking What a warrior where that guy was.

[746] He was a savage.

[747] He would just go out there, guns blazing.

[748] But his style is so aggressive that he leaves himself for counterattacks.

[749] You know?

[750] It's like he's always marching forward.

[751] Like he got knocked out by Rich Franklin.

[752] He was killing Rich Franklin.

[753] He broke his arm.

[754] No, it's in the UFC.

[755] His last fight.

[756] He broke his arm.

[757] He was blasting him, man. He just really hurt.

[758] And he left an opening.

[759] And he left more than that, too, because Rich tagged him a couple of times before that.

[760] I saw him really, get to him a couple times before that.

[761] Franklin hits hard, and he hit him with a couple of big shots.

[762] But it's like Chuck's aggressive style.

[763] It was the reason why he was so good, and it's also the reason why when your career is over, it's over.

[764] It's over.

[765] Yeah.

[766] You don't get the same opportunities that a real tactician gets, you know, not that he wasn't a tactician, he's just super aggressive, you know, but like the guys who are safety first fighters, you know, they don't get to people to love him as much, though.

[767] You know, they get, you know, they get, They get to not take as much punishment, but people, for whatever reason, don't love those tactical grounds.

[768] I remember people not liking Tim Sylvia after a while.

[769] But I was like, he's champion.

[770] Why should he take chances?

[771] That's when I was learning MMA and stuff.

[772] Learning about it, not putting it.

[773] But people are like, yeah, he's just, he plays a safe.

[774] He wins the first, you know, three rounds, and then he's like, I'm not taking any chance for the next two.

[775] Right.

[776] And then, but I was like, why should he?

[777] It doesn't seem like a good decision to take chances when he's up three or nothing.

[778] We're going down.

[779] What is that noise?

[780] It's just a plane breaking apart.

[781] Hmm, interesting.

[782] All right, you want to drink a tea?

[783] No, no. Yeah, I don't know, man. All these years are watching fights.

[784] It's almost like I've seen too many.

[785] I have, like, too many stored in my memory.

[786] The overloading?

[787] I've had, I've been doing UFC since UFC 37 and a half was like the first one that I worked.

[788] Wow.

[789] I think that's, like, way more than a thousand fights.

[790] What?

[791] Way more.

[792] Because there's all the UFC's, and then there's all the Spike shows too.

[793] And it's like at least nine shows, nine fights per show, at least.

[794] Oh, a thousand fights?

[795] Oh, okay.

[796] Oh, not like, oh, yeah.

[797] I was like, wait, what?

[798] And by the way, why did I think that was even a possibility?

[799] Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

[800] We do so many this year on Spike TV and so many pay -per -views.

[801] Verses you've done?

[802] Yeah, we've done so many fights.

[803] I think it's somewhere around 1 ,000 fights.

[804] I think it's more.

[805] Probably 10 to 12 of each one.

[806] Yeah.

[807] Most, the most is 12, but it's usually 11.

[808] Yeah.

[809] But either way, it's been so many fights that it's almost like they blur.

[810] Like, I forget who fought who.

[811] Did you ever go to watch any of the Ultimate Fighter fights?

[812] No, I still haven't.

[813] You really?

[814] I missed it this year.

[815] I didn't get a chance this year.

[816] I was too busy.

[817] This year, while they were doing it this season, I was super busy.

[818] But don't you go to Vegas sometimes for fights during when they're filming the Ultimate Fighter?

[819] Yeah, but when you're there for the fights, man. I go to the gym.

[820] I work out and I go do a show somewhere.

[821] Half the time.

[822] Vegas is like the most common that I don't do a show, you know?

[823] You should go roll with those guys on the ultimate fighter.

[824] Some of them, right?

[825] You should.

[826] Stop in there one day, roll with him for a little while.

[827] Yeah, that'd be interesting.

[828] Because then you get your workout in.

[829] Yeah.

[830] Especially on some shows that you don't have a Friday night show.

[831] Yeah.

[832] Go on there.

[833] I can roll with them a little bit, got to sweat, and then that'd be cool.

[834] Yeah.

[835] I bet the UFC would like you to do that too.

[836] Yeah, I'm sure.

[837] See you in there sweating.

[838] Yeah.

[839] Until I put the choke to some of those boys.

[840] Don't show this.

[841] These are fun of them.

[842] Squeeze the neck.

[843] Oh, my friend.

[844] You go to sleep now.

[845] Your joke is hard.

[846] What a crazy way to try to make a living, huh?

[847] Those guys are really savages.

[848] Joking people?

[849] No, those guys getting into the UFC and entering into the ultimate fighter and getting on that show and being in that house with a bunch of dudes that you're going to have to fight.

[850] What a crazy idea for a show.

[851] That show will go on for a billion years.

[852] because it's always interesting there's always new people that want to fight there's always you know fucking new great rivalries that get born out of that house yeah they fight again in the UFC like six years later and it's like the fight that never was you know and you're like well some of the greatest rivalries ever have come from that house Diego Sanchez and fucking Kenny Florian that fight I never watched that show I never got into that show that season one man they were both fighting at 185 believe it or not and they wow really Kenny was at 185 yeah I mean he wasn't really but he's got such big balls that he fought in the 185 pound division when he's a natural 155 or so he just walk at like 182 just walked in all fat and shit just walked in all fat and slung slung dick and elbows I like that guy getting florida he's a nice guy he's a nice guy and he's a bad motherfucker yeah he's a really smart guy I like him a lot he's like I know he's not Jewish but I don't correct people when they say he is ha ha ha you take him as an unhurt you you know that Kenny Florian Gronato River, too Yeah, he's a great guy He's one of those rare guys That had like a real happy childhood too As a close connection to doctors right He's a good family guy Yeah, they're all I think his father's a surgeon Yeah It's like crazy man He just wants to do it That's what he wants to do You know Grand Hill was like that His dad was a professional football player Really?

[853] Yeah Always got along with him He's like what do you want to do Play basketball?

[854] Okay, go for it Yeah Do MMA Kenny go for it Yeah Well that's a good dad, you know, those creepy dads that want kids to do what you want them to do.

[855] You know, that's terrible.

[856] You see that suppression that really fucks kids' heads up, man. My dad was so mad at me when I quit soccer.

[857] Was he?

[858] He was so mad.

[859] I didn't get it to way later while he was so mad.

[860] I just thought he was teaching me how to not to be a quitter or something.

[861] Right.

[862] But really, it's because he grew up playing soccer.

[863] He wanted me to play soccer.

[864] That's what he did.

[865] Wow.

[866] I know it's so weird, isn't it?

[867] If my kid didn't want to do Jiu -I just have to recognize that.

[868] I just have to accept it.

[869] It'd be tough though.

[870] like something else you want to do yeah yeah you can't want your kid to do something they don't want to do you're going to create some angry person the words portrayal if one of your kids is like I'm gonna play a team sports you'd be like no I wouldn't I don't know the rules I'd like that's cool look I like pool pool is way more boring to a lot of people than baseball it's a lot of people and baseball is boring but to me you know it's fascinating I mean I don't You should be able to like and watch whatever you want.

[871] Uh -huh.

[872] You know, I fully support that.

[873] But I just don't think that a lot of people think of kids as being individual people.

[874] I think they think of them as an extension of them.

[875] Like, they own that kid.

[876] So for your dad, it's like, this is my son.

[877] Why isn't my son playing soccer?

[878] Yeah.

[879] Yeah, exactly.

[880] My son should be this.

[881] Yeah, yeah.

[882] Remember, so you're quit her now, you should have quit things.

[883] Yeah.

[884] That's probably seven.

[885] Dude, that is the weakest shit ever, man. I had an uncle say something like that about me, like quitting things, and I got really pissed that I. I didn't talk to him for years.

[886] Wow.

[887] It's a silliness, man. You know, when people talk about being quitters and, you know.

[888] You're not quitting, I just want to do something different.

[889] You're saying that to a kid when you're, like, giving them that negative reinforcement like that.

[890] What are you going to be a quitter?

[891] You know, that's not how to deal with it, you know?

[892] The way to deal with it, well, the problem is most people haven't developed.

[893] that part of themselves.

[894] Take one thing like eight years old and like that's what I'm going to do forever.

[895] Shit.

[896] Like Will Smith, we're just saying he didn't quit rap he just, he did it for five or six years and then he did something else.

[897] Well, it's also, you know, one person's soccer is another person's basketball you just have to find that thing.

[898] You know, for you, it wasn't soccer but maybe it would have been, you know, what the fuck ever, gymnastics.

[899] Do you really want to do it?

[900] Yeah, maybe there's something that you, I mean, you got to find what the fuck you like.

[901] It can't be dependent on somebody else.

[902] Harris Pete said he was friends of Gretsky He was a practice player for the Kings for a while.

[903] Wow.

[904] And he went to, like, some signings with him.

[905] Right.

[906] Just to, like, hang out with him and stuff.

[907] And he said some guy was like, you know, took his son in line to get a Gretsky book sign or a Gretsky poster signed.

[908] And he goes, you know, Wayne, tell my son how important it is to practice every day, you know.

[909] And he's like, yeah, yeah, it's really important.

[910] You should have to do that.

[911] And then he left and he turned to Harris.

[912] And he was like, the thing is, when I was his age, that's all I wanted to do was play hockey.

[913] No one had to tell me to practice.

[914] That's just all I wanted to do.

[915] So I guess technically I was practicing, but I was just playing.

[916] You can't make someone want to practice.

[917] Yeah, no shit.

[918] You know?

[919] You like it, then do it all the time.

[920] Yeah.

[921] If you don't, then don't do it at all.

[922] Do something else that you like doing and do that all the time.

[923] Yeah.

[924] No kidding, man. It just sucks if you're like a pool player where your sport, the thing you love to do all the time, can net you...

[925] Five bucks a year.

[926] Yeah.

[927] You know, professional bowling.

[928] It's just so you're not going to make any money.

[929] I know some guys that do, like, Mika Eminen, he plays professional pool, he makes good money.

[930] And, you know, like, Shane Van Bonnet, he makes good money.

[931] Like, the upper echelon players.

[932] But, like, Max, you know, Max is struggling.

[933] Max is one of the best guys in the world.

[934] He just doesn't win enough tournaments.

[935] And places, like, third here, and, you know, they'll get, like, 4th through 6.

[936] How much does the 99th best pool player in the world make?

[937] Fuck.

[938] Compared to a golfer?

[939] Yeah.

[940] It's really ridiculous.

[941] Because the 99th bet in the NBA is a starter.

[942] Yeah.

[943] Professional starter on the team.

[944] And he probably makes hundreds of thousands of stuff.

[945] a year, right?

[946] Millions.

[947] Millions?

[948] Really?

[949] This league minimum is like 125 ,000.

[950] So the worst guy in the NBA makes 125 grand a year?

[951] And that was like 10 years ago.

[952] What's it down?

[953] I don't know.

[954] League minimum, probably two or 300 ,000.

[955] Yeah, well, they all have a short period of time where they can do that, though, as opposed to pool.

[956] It's just the problem with pool is no one's ever figured out how to organize it and put it on TV correctly.

[957] You know, what I was saying about watching that chess, the speed chess, it's almost like they should do something like that with pool.

[958] Because that speed chess was really exciting, man. You know?

[959] That speed chess was interesting.

[960] So like speed pool?

[961] Yeah.

[962] You play a race to 10, but you also have a clock.

[963] As soon as the ball stops moving, you have only so long to get it.

[964] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[965] As soon as the stop, he starts a clock.

[966] Every game, no matter how much time it takes to get through each rack, all that time is calculated.

[967] Even 10 ball or something, but you would lose a certain amount once your minutes go, you lose 20 balls.

[968] Yeah.

[969] I think that some sort of an added little pressure thing would be fun for pool, would get people into it.

[970] Yeah.

[971] so much more powerful.

[972] Who is one of those things, though, that's only interesting to people that play.

[973] Like, it's interesting to you because you know how to play.

[974] But to other people who don't know how to play, it's just, like, so stupid.

[975] Like, who gives it a shit if that ball goes in the hole?

[976] Hit it already.

[977] Hit balls.

[978] Yeah, it's a weird thing, you know.

[979] Games, game scare the shit out of me. I've lost giant chunks of my consciousness to games, you know, giant.

[980] I remember being in Driver's Ed, and they said that it used to be a good judge of Driver's Ed about driving abilities, who had the best grades.

[981] Yeah, but then they, we did studies, and they said, that's at video games.

[982] Oh, wow.

[983] It's way more important than that's the greatest.

[984] Dude, there's a guy that went down to Nureberg Ring in a race car.

[985] The what is this?

[986] The Nureberg Ring is a huge race track.

[987] I think it's like seven miles, no. It takes a really good race car, like seven minutes, and, like, I think, like, seven minutes and 30 seconds is what, like, the Corvette ZR1 does.

[988] So it's a long -ass track, and it's got a bite.

[989] of crazy curves and shit.

[990] And so they put this on a video game.

[991] And so on the video game, you literally drive the exact course, and you go through the exact same lanes that all the real racetrack drivers would, and they have the exact same, like, background.

[992] So when you do it, you feel like you've already been there.

[993] So they had this kid who was really good at playing the video game, and they took him on a race car around the Nureberg, and he had this badass time.

[994] Like, you knew how to good because he was really good at doing the video game.

[995] So they just had to teach him how to operate a race car, show him the fundamentals of it.

[996] And then he could do it.

[997] And then he could do it.

[998] Wait, hold on a second.

[999] This is the exact plot of that movie from the 80s where the guy's super good at video games and then from outer space they come in...

[1000] What movie was that?

[1001] His name was Alex Rogan.

[1002] Really?

[1003] Yes.

[1004] What movie was that?

[1005] Starfighter or some shit like that?

[1006] Yeah, like he was the best of the video game.

[1007] But the video game was just an elaborate test by the aliens to see who would fight for them.

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] What was it called?

[1010] star something or another?

[1011] Yeah, and they did a South Park episode with the same thing.

[1012] Really?

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] It was, yeah, it was the level 99, and Kenny was like the greatest level and then they thought, good versus evil, hell versus Satan.

[1015] Wow.

[1016] Well, this guy actually did that.

[1017] This guy actually did go around the Newburghering, and they said he had a great time.

[1018] He did really really really.

[1019] Yeah, I bet.

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] He said he knew when to break and he knew when they accelerate out of corners.

[1022] And those games, the physics of those games are really pretty lifeline.

[1023] They make it really, yeah, there's a flight simulator like that.

[1024] Yeah.

[1025] That's another thing Tiger Woods did.

[1026] When we were playing, somebody, one of us hit a shot up, looked like he was going on the green perfectly.

[1027] And we were like, oh, nice shot.

[1028] Tiger's like, nah, it's going to roll off the back into the sand.

[1029] But like, no, no, no, it's safe.

[1030] That's falling on the front.

[1031] And it starts to slow down.

[1032] It picks up a little steam and rolls off the back into the sand.

[1033] We're like, how did you know that?

[1034] He goes, because I played that course, like 35 times.

[1035] Oh, so the course was exactly just like that.

[1036] Yeah, it rolls off the back.

[1037] That's amazing.

[1038] Yeah, he's like, you've got to bounce it up to this room.

[1039] How do they incorporate those physics into the game?

[1040] Well, they have to, professional level golfers help design the game.

[1041] So they go to the courses and make it like that exact.

[1042] But how do they know, like, when, how do they incorporate gravity, like where steeper hills make the ball roll faster?

[1043] Yeah, they incorporate that?

[1044] One rolls off to the right, one green, you know, flows out.

[1045] They try to make it just like the greens.

[1046] And one day they're going to be able to actually recreate the exact topography.

[1047] Yeah.

[1048] That's going to be crazy.

[1049] Yeah.

[1050] You'll be able to recreate the exact topography of the course.

[1051] So you can play Pebble Beach.

[1052] in your home or your local, like, you know.

[1053] Yeah, if you have, like, a club, and the club somehow or another has some sort of a sensor on it, it's like a motion sensor.

[1054] Like a laser tag place.

[1055] Recreated it every time with holograms.

[1056] Yeah, and you do it in, like, you know, in front of some big screen.

[1057] I played that golf, indoor golf before in Maryland in the winter.

[1058] Yeah, you hit a screen.

[1059] They try to judge the trajectory of the ball, but it was real, you know, basic.

[1060] Right.

[1061] Like then, and then they tell you where you are in the rough, whatever, and to place your ball, either in rough grass or in regular grass, which is the fair way, you know, or take a penalty.

[1062] And then on the green, they tell you how far away from the hole to put in.

[1063] But it was the same green every time.

[1064] Man, I'm so excited about what the hell is going to happen.

[1065] In the future.

[1066] Yeah, I mean, the future of video games and virtual reality and just, we're in such a weird time, you know.

[1067] I mean, a couple hundred years ago, you would live your whole life and nobody ever invented shit.

[1068] But the other thing is you would go, but you go whole life and no new invention would be created.

[1069] Yeah.

[1070] Nothing new.

[1071] Yeah.

[1072] No cotton gym.

[1073] That happened once a generation.

[1074] Yeah.

[1075] You know, or even, it'd be less and exciting.

[1076] Sure, I mean, there might be some things that are getting made, but the things that you know about, things that actually help and affect your life, not that much stuff not made.

[1077] But now we've had so many of them.

[1078] I know.

[1079] In my life, them the cell phone, internet.

[1080] Internet, computers in general.

[1081] Yeah, portable computers.

[1082] Yeah.

[1083] All these things completely change the way we do anything.

[1084] Cell phone, not even, you can't even say cell phone anymore, because now it's the age of the smartphone.

[1085] This is a bigger leap than, I mean, then just a phone, you know, a little thing that you can get information from, from the sky.

[1086] I mean, what the cell phone is now, like your iPhone right there and the one that we're recording this into, these things are little computers that connect you to the rest of the world, man. I mean, we did this show in Sydney all through these iPhones, man. We tweeted it.

[1087] We tweeted it and packed that place.

[1088] On the iPhones.

[1089] All through iPhones.

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] All through the air, just walking around, click, click, click, click.

[1092] With no Wi -Fi signal, I just sent a text to Twitter to put this on, and they did.

[1093] Yeah, man, that's the biggest leap of all time.

[1094] The ability to get Google on that and find answers to anything immediately.

[1095] That's crazy.

[1096] And plus, you can record your surroundings, take photos of yourself, listen to music at the same time.

[1097] And talk to people and video conference if you're near a Wi -Fi signal.

[1098] I videotaped a kangaroo jerking off at the zoo because of this technology.

[1099] They have on me at all times.

[1100] You need to upload that to YouTube.

[1101] Upload that.

[1102] Are you going to upload it?

[1103] Sure, I guess so.

[1104] I should have done something more.

[1105] How clear is he?

[1106] It's pretty clear obvious.

[1107] Can I see it?

[1108] Yeah, it's amazing, right?

[1109] And Shazam, just the fact that it has Shazam on it.

[1110] Shazam is crazy.

[1111] It doesn't even make sense.

[1112] It tells you what song it is.

[1113] It's playing.

[1114] And it's almost always accurate.

[1115] He's jerking himself off.

[1116] That's the thing if we're jerking off.

[1117] Wow.

[1118] This is very blatantly.

[1119] He's just jerking it.

[1120] This might get already arrested.

[1121] I tried to get in this, but then I think he took, like, an aggressive stance, so I got scared.

[1122] Like, here, I'll turn.

[1123] Are you inside this?

[1124] No, it's like a walk -around area.

[1125] You can walk near a bottom.

[1126] Is there a fence in front of you?

[1127] No, it's a wallaby.

[1128] You can go out to it.

[1129] But you're not supposed to get off the path.

[1130] You could go right up to that thing?

[1131] Yeah.

[1132] All right, we'll have to put this online, ladies and gentlemen.

[1133] I got fully scared of the wallaby that's allowed to go right up to you.

[1134] Well, you should be scared.

[1135] He's about to jizz on you.

[1136] I don't know what his deal is.

[1137] He has no social contract.

[1138] Yeah.

[1139] Exactly.

[1140] I interrupted as jerk off.

[1141] That's a base mentality.

[1142] They're animals, man. Yeah.

[1143] Animals aren't you.

[1144] What happened to the tea?

[1145] He took it away.

[1146] Why did they do that?

[1147] I don't know.

[1148] I drink tea, so I thought maybe you'll only want up one cup.

[1149] This motherfucker.

[1150] You let it take it.

[1151] How high are you?

[1152] Barbecued.

[1153] Blitzkrieg.

[1154] Ari and I had an edible.

[1155] I guess we should take this time to thank our sponsor, Zen, Zen, um, on Las Anigo and Zamanago.

[1156] This is the sponsor.

[1157] This is the sponsor.

[1158] and dispensary.

[1159] Their breath chips are amazing.

[1160] And you run.

[1161] I like these podcasts on planes.

[1162] We need to start doing more of these from now on.

[1163] Every time I travel, I'm going to do one.

[1164] So I'll do one with Tom Segura on Wednesday when we go to Louisville.

[1165] It's a good idea.

[1166] Especially for long flight.

[1167] It's like, why not?

[1168] Why not, man?

[1169] Podcast on a plane are fun.

[1170] Yeah.

[1171] It's interesting.

[1172] I mean, you know, it's also an interesting little network that we have of all these people now that are doing them.

[1173] I mean, you're starting to do one now.

[1174] What do you call in yours?

[1175] A skeptic tank?

[1176] The skeptic tank.

[1177] And, of course, Doug Benson has Doug loves movies, and we see Doug all the time.

[1178] And it's weird.

[1179] It's like, there's, like, this whole network of people that are doing these now.

[1180] We're all, like, doing it together.

[1181] And everybody seems really cool with everybody.

[1182] People have other people on each other's podcasts, and everyone's, like, supporting everyone.

[1183] Whatever the style is, like, all right, that's what we do.

[1184] Like with Doug's thing, it's like, I got to go out and talk about movies.

[1185] Yeah, that's fine.

[1186] Yeah, that's his thing.

[1187] You know, when you do his thing, that's what it is.

[1188] and then, you know, ours is, you get high and talk about whatever the fuck you want to talk about for two hours, yeah.

[1189] And, you know, everybody's got their own little thing.

[1190] But it's really cool how there's so many people doing it now and everybody's supporting everybody.

[1191] And I listen to other people's podcasts.

[1192] And I like it.

[1193] It's sort of fun to do.

[1194] Yeah, they're real fun to do.

[1195] She's one of the door guys at the comedy store and Eric Marino had this thing where they just like, they talk about sports.

[1196] Like, you want to be on it?

[1197] I was like, you're all right.

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] I'm just like, yeah, we'll talk about something for a little while.

[1200] It doesn't matter if 10 people here, if no one does, or if a million people here?

[1201] We ran it to a bunch of people in Australia that listen to the podcast a lot.

[1202] You know, I mean, the podcast is, we don't know the exact numbers, but it's well over 200 ,000 people are listening to each individual one.

[1203] Wow.

[1204] Yeah.

[1205] You know, and then in time, it goes more and more and more.

[1206] People download the old ones, and it's pretty crazy that this can happen.

[1207] This can happen, you know, and then also there's so many different ways to listen to it.

[1208] You can get, use this thing called Stiddle, you can listen to it live or a replay on Ustream and watch it at the same time you can listen to it by just downloading the file from my website you don't have to uh you go to iTunes you can just download the raw mp3 and then you know you put it on anything put on any kind of mp3 player you know and if you just keep providing people with something that they enjoy like that you get a kind of like you know you get a fan base like that's like the people that were we're hanging out with like in sydney the people who came to the shows.

[1209] We've got some cool motherfuckers that are coming to these shows.

[1210] And the thing is, too, they know enough about you and about us in general that it's like, if they're turned off by the shit we do, they won't come out.

[1211] Right.

[1212] You know, so the people that come out are sort of your cup of tea.

[1213] Yeah.

[1214] I mean, you know, everybody's got their own thing, man. You know, we've been talking about, you know, Ari and I were talking about this once.

[1215] Like, some comedians will get upset at other comedians.

[1216] Like, they don't like their act and so they hate them.

[1217] But it's so stupid.

[1218] It's like, what do you give a shit?

[1219] like you don't like that style of comedy but guess what there's 30 ,000 people in his audience so you're telling me there's something wrong with that he's giving them exactly what they like even Karen Tom even guys like with prom comics or whatever type of comedy it's like that's not your thing but that's okay exactly who the fuck are you to decide you know what's good and what's bad you know it's just good but I got caught up in it when I was younger for sure I did I did too I recently let it go in the last couple years it's so much better enough because you can actually appreciate the small things you can relate to in their ads.

[1220] Yes, yes.

[1221] Larry the cable guy on some interview once on like Leno or one of those, he said having sex with his pregnant wife was like, was like jabbing, he said jabbing, taking a stick and jabbing a stack full of puppies.

[1222] And I'm like, that's a funny joke.

[1223] And if you just dismiss everything he says and you miss out a little joy of life.

[1224] I don't dismiss him at all.

[1225] I think he's funny.

[1226] You know, I was telling you, I hung out with him.

[1227] But him very briefly, way back in like, shit, like 94 or 95 at the Montreal Comedy Festival.

[1228] We hung out at the Comedy Works.

[1229] And this was back when Larry was, you know, just another comic.

[1230] Very few people knew who he was, you know.

[1231] He made his living as a cable guy.

[1232] No, he was another, what is it, Dan Whitney?

[1233] Is that his real name?

[1234] Oh, are you still going by the old?

[1235] No, he was still Larry the Cable Guy there.

[1236] You know, he was doing Larry the Cable Guy.

[1237] But, you know, people would like, they like take offense to that or, you know, some people would judge it.

[1238] I don't get it.

[1239] It's not my, you know, it might not be my favorite kind of comedy, but I think he's funny.

[1240] He makes me laugh.

[1241] He makes me laugh a bunch.

[1242] You just let go.

[1243] I'm supposed to like this, I'm not supposed to like that.

[1244] It's like, you know, like, there's all sorts of different levels of everything.

[1245] You know, I mean, McDonald's cheeseburgers, you might not be into it.

[1246] But obviously, a lot of fucking people are, dude.

[1247] Yeah, so you can't say, oh, it's terrible.

[1248] It's like, really?

[1249] Why is everyone eating it?

[1250] That's why I think about Republicans.

[1251] Really, they have no basis to stand.

[1252] I don't know anything about politics, but if they have no basis to stand on, why is 50 % of the country a Republican?

[1253] Yeah, well, that's an interesting way to look at.

[1254] I think...

[1255] There must be something valid.

[1256] People, I think, there's a good percentage of the time when people choose whether or not they're going to be a Republican or a liberal, conservative, or Democrat, they, I think they find a pattern of thinking and then they just...

[1257] Stick to it.

[1258] You're a Chevy or Ford.

[1259] It's the same shit.

[1260] It's so dumb.

[1261] And I think that's responsible for a lot of it.

[1262] That's a lot of it.

[1263] Team, team concepts.

[1264] I want to pick a side.

[1265] Stick to it no matter what every time.

[1266] Yeah, and then they, you know, and then you, especially if, like, one of the best things that the Republican Party does is that they really promote this idea of a united front against the dumb liberals, the weak liberals, those liberals out there, they're going to take away your money.

[1267] And they propose that you're in on this, like, it's a team, like when people call the Rush Limbo Show, mega -dittos rush, you know, mega -dittos, meaning you, I guess you like, you agree with what you're saying I guess that's what it means they call themselves ditto heads you know I mean they're into and yeah they want to smoke the same cigars they rush smokes and they want to call up and agree with him and they want to you know they want to suck Republican cock that's what they really do it's supposed to be if you were a Republican you agree with eight or nine out of ten things that other Republicans agree with as opposed to two out of ten things that other Republicans agree with yeah if you're a Democrat it's being a fan boy it's just like you're a fan boy of anything else It's like going to see Star Wars 13 times because you're 10.

[1268] You know, that's what it's like.

[1269] It's the same goddamn thing.

[1270] It's ridiculous behavior, but it's so common, you know.

[1271] There's people out there that firmly believe it.

[1272] These lips are going to do this.

[1273] But then, you know, if you look at their point of view, when it comes to politics, when it comes to taxes, and creating big government and everything, like, yeah, man, yeah, I agree.

[1274] They're spent too much fucking money.

[1275] I don't think the ballots go in the right way, from what I understand.

[1276] And I clearly know nothing.

[1277] but I'll tell you this, that I didn't think that there was any reason I told this before.

[1278] There was no reason we shouldn't have universal health care.

[1279] That's what I always thought.

[1280] The people who were against it were like retarded.

[1281] And now my health care is worse and it costs more because of Obamacare.

[1282] And I was like, oh, that's the give and take.

[1283] Both sides have a valid argument.

[1284] The problem with universal health care is that doctors get fucked over.

[1285] You know, doctors get fucked over already by a lot of insurance companies.

[1286] A lot of insurance companies don't want to pay what a doctor wants to be paid for, you know, a certain percentage.

[1287] procedures and when they get to be really good.

[1288] Psychologists won't take insurance.

[1289] Why would I bill out at $100 for the insurance company when I can bill out at $300?

[1290] That's what I'm worth.

[1291] Wow.

[1292] So when you go to a psychiatrist or a psychologist, you have to pay them out of your pocket?

[1293] Certain ones.

[1294] Certain ones are on insurance and the best ones are just not on insurance.

[1295] I am all for people being competitive.

[1296] I think it's good.

[1297] I think I want the doctor who's the baddest motherfucker who drives a Ferrari because he's the one who can fix your your fucking brain tumor.

[1298] That's the guy you want.

[1299] You want this bad motherfucker.

[1300] You know, you want this dude who's like intensely devoted to his craft because he makes a lot of fucking money from it.

[1301] There's a lot of reward.

[1302] And so there's a lot of reason for him to go chase after and be the best surgeon.

[1303] You have a life there that I heard once that I like, but you were telling somebody about a different vaporizers.

[1304] One of your friends was like trying to buy a vaporizer.

[1305] And he was like, which one?

[1306] And you were like, the way you told Sir was like, Go with the broken school of thought.

[1307] Just get the more expensive one.

[1308] Yeah.

[1309] It's always better.

[1310] It's almost always better.

[1311] Or 9 .9 out of 10, it's better.

[1312] So just...

[1313] I use that for almost everything.

[1314] If you have the money to do it, go with the better one.

[1315] Yeah, the one that costs the most is usually the best.

[1316] It's a reason why you can...

[1317] At the same price as for Jessica Rinaldi, it's like, why do you think for Jessica costs more?

[1318] Yeah.

[1319] It tastes better.

[1320] Yeah.

[1321] Don't be stupid.

[1322] It might not be worth a difference, but it is better.

[1323] It's better.

[1324] It's better.

[1325] The Ferrari doesn't cost a quarter of a million dollars, it's a piece of shit.

[1326] There's a reason why people are willing to buy that goddamn thing.

[1327] It's the greatest car ever invented.

[1328] You know, there's, there's something to that man. There's only certain amount of things you can think about in this life.

[1329] You have to have some methods to deal with things.

[1330] That's my method.

[1331] Try to get whatever it is, get the best one.

[1332] Don't be stupid.

[1333] Yeah.

[1334] So I don't understand people use Windows.

[1335] Like, don't you know that shit?

[1336] Windows, brim.

[1337] I can build my own computer.

[1338] I can upgrade if I lock.

[1339] I understand.

[1340] I understand all that.

[1341] Maybe you do all that, and I appreciate that, and I think that's awesome.

[1342] But you can get a virus, and viruses are fucking terrible.

[1343] Could you imagine if it's like, no, man, I'm going to stay a human, I'm just going to eat acidophilus and a lot of wheatgrass juice, and I don't worry about this dark black plague, or, you know, you can take this pill and be immortal.

[1344] Oh, I'm going to stick with it.

[1345] Stick with this, fighting all viruses.

[1346] People have windows.

[1347] They're being attacked every day.

[1348] You can't even go to websites.

[1349] You go to websites and big windows pop -up.

[1350] And people right now are freaking out.

[1351] People are angry.

[1352] You fucking Macfag.

[1353] Oh, listen to this.

[1354] Yeah, yeah.

[1355] You MacFag.

[1356] You really into Macs.

[1357] And for the people who were, like, I was seven or eight years ago, where I'm like, this is a due system.

[1358] I can't figure it out.

[1359] You will get it within a week or two.

[1360] You will totally figure it out.

[1361] A regular use.

[1362] If you're an idiot, you'll get it in a day.

[1363] It'll be just as easy as Windows is.

[1364] It's like, you know, but some people are really into, like, hacking their registry, and they're really into building their own thing.

[1365] I totally get that.

[1366] I totally get that.

[1367] That's such a small slice.

[1368] The real option for those people is Linux.

[1369] The real option is Linux or Unix.

[1370] There's operating systems that aren't virus -infested hunks of shit, and they're free.

[1371] Like, there's a lot of Linux now, a lot of different builds that are available online for free, that are really good, man. They have a great graphic interface.

[1372] They have video players.

[1373] And there's a few compatibility issues with something.

[1374] So perfectly build your own thing?

[1375] Yeah.

[1376] That, to me, makes way more sense.

[1377] than Windows.

[1378] Windows, I mean, I get it.

[1379] There's a lot of peripherals that work with it, and a lot of people have just grown up with it, and they're used to it, but viruses are so stupid.

[1380] So horrible.

[1381] Suddenly, my computer's working worse because I'm asshole.

[1382] Pranked me. Yeah, exactly.

[1383] What evidence of cunts, you know, I mean, if you ever want evidence that people are cunts, the number of viruses that exist are staggering.

[1384] Yeah.

[1385] For windows, there must be hundreds of thousands.

[1386] It's not like the virus that drains your bank account, and it goes to some guy in Russia.

[1387] It's just the virus that It doesn't do anything for anyone.

[1388] And I asked somebody once, I'm like, why do they build those riders?

[1389] People are like, mayhem, that's it.

[1390] They just want to create mayhem.

[1391] You know what it's like, if there's a room and it was like a round circle where women just put most of their face through, and you can't see who's on the other side, and the other side is all men that are naked, there's going to be a few that will just jerk off on someone's face.

[1392] They just want to be able to affect you and you not know that it's them.

[1393] You know what I mean?

[1394] I mean, there's people that want to reach out and jizz on you.

[1395] That's what they want to do.

[1396] They can find a way to just whack one off on your face and you couldn't stop them and you didn't know it was them.

[1397] They would do it.

[1398] They would do it just to look at it.

[1399] People were sick.

[1400] They're twisted.

[1401] I have a rule of pranks because I have a thought out a theory on them, you know?

[1402] And the rules are this.

[1403] No monetary damage to anyone and no physical damage to anyone.

[1404] Those are good rules.

[1405] Except yourself.

[1406] You can put out $1 ,000 of ballpark.

[1407] You can't make someone else pay too much.

[1408] Yeah, those are good rules.

[1409] Yeah.

[1410] Yeah, because other than that, you just butt's hurt, that's it.

[1411] And you have to only prank people that you actually liked, too.

[1412] You can't be pranking.

[1413] You can't be prank at someone you don't like, because then that's like sort of an act of war.

[1414] You know, it has to be like an act of fun.

[1415] Yeah.

[1416] Because if you don't like someone, then you prank them, it's like, you just stepped it up much, you know?

[1417] We once had, we forgot, like, 12 or 15 people to wait for Bobby Lee to pull into the parking lot at the comedy store, with on top of the roof on the Hyatt ramp behind the garbage cans all waiting and choreographies hanging out with water balloons oh no yeah just waiting for him all filling out this is gonna happen right now okay he's got a 1015 spot he will be here at 945 and it is go time that's hilarious and we all just unloaded water balloons at him oh my god that's hilarious it was so epic that's epic and the only thing better was that not one of us hit him oh that's like 80 balloons and not one person hit him that's hilarious Dude, did you, were you there when some guys got on the roof of the store with a slings Oh, that was not there?

[1418] They had, like, this sort of a water balloon launching device.

[1419] Yeah, Capriol had it.

[1420] Some slingshot type deal, and they were hurling them over towards the standards and hitting the bounces.

[1421] They would go so far.

[1422] That's incredible.

[1423] When you get hit by a water balloon, let's say that ever happens to you.

[1424] First, you're like, what, you're like, oh, okay, my mind is wrapping around.

[1425] It's water.

[1426] Right.

[1427] And you're like, but that was a water balloon.

[1428] Right.

[1429] You get that within a second or two.

[1430] Right.

[1431] And then you look where would a water balloon come from?

[1432] Without thinking this out, it's instant.

[1433] He'd be like, within four or five feet, that's where water balloons come from.

[1434] 10 feet maybe.

[1435] You don't think 100 yards up on some roof across the street and down the block.

[1436] No one would even consider that.

[1437] They found out that it was coming from the rooftop, so the cops did come to visit.

[1438] You know how to find out?

[1439] A few water balloons in a fucking straight line.

[1440] Remnants, straight back pointing at that roof.

[1441] As they adjusted for accuracy of distance.

[1442] Yeah, they nailed.

[1443] nailed somebody.

[1444] I remember they hit somebody.

[1445] It was like a big fucking event.

[1446] Everybody came running down off the roof.

[1447] Yeah, yeah.

[1448] Cops ran up.

[1449] There's Renazisi and Caparulo and I think Freddie Lockhart.

[1450] And they had to hide where Mitzie's office was.

[1451] They said, fuck, quick, come down here, I hear footsteps.

[1452] They hid in that thing, cops ran by him, and then they ran the way out.

[1453] Oh, that was, I remember those.

[1454] We did the condo.

[1455] Was it been as easy that had it on the roof?

[1456] Well, let's not say it.

[1457] Because we might not know.

[1458] We'll say it.

[1459] Really?

[1460] Yeah.

[1461] We did it.

[1462] We all did it in La Hoya once in the condo, and it would go, I don't don't if you remember that place at all.

[1463] Yeah.

[1464] Go over the board.

[1465] Wardwalk halfway to the ocean on the beach.

[1466] Oh my God.

[1467] To it would blow up like a landmine.

[1468] People are sitting there, they would go in the sand.

[1469] You see them kind of like looking around and like, what was that?

[1470] And then another one would boom.

[1471] Oh, that's hilarious.

[1472] That's hilarious.

[1473] Yeah.

[1474] That's some terrorism shit, though.

[1475] I think that's probably in the Patriot Act.

[1476] It's probably not allowed to do that anymore.

[1477] Oh, probably not.

[1478] Some guy caught it.

[1479] But you would have one guy pulling it back as hard as he can and two other guys on either side, straight out with the arms, bracing and shaking, holding it steady.

[1480] Oh, that's how you do it?

[1481] It's a big rubber thing.

[1482] One guy like this, the other guy on the other side, like this.

[1483] So you use your arms as the, um, your arms of like the sticks?

[1484] As like the V's of the Slings of the Slingshot, yeah.

[1485] And then the one guy would be your fingers pulling it back.

[1486] Pull back as hard as he can.

[1487] Why not make something instead of that that works?

[1488] Why not like have like a bow, like some sort of a something like a big slingshot?

[1489] Yeah, they would do like...

[1490] Something you stick in the dirt?

[1491] Yeah, that would be great.

[1492] Yeah, like maybe you, if you were on a balcony, you could just have it like with a clam Clamps to the balcony.

[1493] Get on it, inventors.

[1494] Pranksters, beware.

[1495] This guy caught us once, because we did it way too much in Illinois.

[1496] And it was like at night and we tried to get people that were walking with their days and stuff.

[1497] And some guy, this black guy, I remember from going to the window, like, hey, you fucking dick assholes.

[1498] He was like, he was like, we remember the southern, like who do you and blowfish type black guys?

[1499] Right.

[1500] It was like, hey, turds, like things like that.

[1501] If I fit his face.

[1502] We're like, don't move.

[1503] We can't see us because we all fucking hit the deck.

[1504] He's like, I see you.

[1505] Right there.

[1506] behind the couch.

[1507] I can still see you.

[1508] What the fuck are you doing?

[1509] We're like, he can't see us, even though he's describing us perfectly.

[1510] How did he see you?

[1511] Because he can see you right in.

[1512] We weren't hiding very well.

[1513] We were.

[1514] They were.

[1515] Get down here.

[1516] I'll kick your ass.

[1517] We didn't move.

[1518] What pussies.

[1519] But that's what viruses are.

[1520] People like that.

[1521] Yeah.

[1522] Making little pranks.

[1523] That comedy store, La Jolla, is such a strange place because it's in a beautiful area.

[1524] La Jolla is gorgeous, and it's a real affluent.

[1525] The way it's like the Bel Air, the Beverly Hills of San Diego.

[1526] Yeah, and right there is this dirty little comedy club where it hasn't changed in 30 fucking years.

[1527] Barry Diamond.

[1528] Still headlines there once a year.

[1529] Does Argus go down there?

[1530] I don't think the headlines even, I think he's happy just featuring.

[1531] It's such an old -school place.

[1532] It's a vacation for the comics, though.

[1533] Yeah, and so many comics have done so much crazy shit in that condo.

[1534] Like, I can't even remember half the shit that's happened in that condo.

[1535] The amount of coke that must have been in there, probably would fill it up at this point oh my goodness yeah yeah that place was that was a and that was a it was like a first road gear for a lot of people yeah they wouldn't be able to get something they go open for steep pearl or berry diamond you're like fuck i don't want to hang out with them for the whole weekend yeah but it's like road work i get to stay at the condo that'd be awesome yeah i never had to deal with that because by the time she eventually stopped torturing me and sent me there yeah i already started going the road with you so it's like no i'm not going with barry diamond No, I'll go with my friends or nothing.

[1536] Stay in the condo?

[1537] Like, no. You get creeped on?

[1538] Rusty Dooley used to sleep with a screwdriver underneath his pillow.

[1539] Because he was scared of Barry Diamond?

[1540] Yeah, he's always on borderline, whether it's gay.

[1541] By the way, this is all alleged, ladies and gentlemen.

[1542] Yeah, he's a fun, nice guy.

[1543] We have no documentation to prove any of this is true.

[1544] Yeah.

[1545] Those old school guys that were around, like, Barry Diamond was in that Bachelor Party movie with Tom Hanks, you know?

[1546] Yeah.

[1547] That's a...

[1548] That was a big guy didn't know.

[1549] He was a big guy at some point.

[1550] Whoa.

[1551] What happened?

[1552] You know, careers come and go.

[1553] I don't get that.

[1554] Just didn't go up, didn't go down.

[1555] I don't understand that.

[1556] Yeah.

[1557] But I know people used to talk before my time, people talk about him as the next big thing once he did a bachelor party.

[1558] Wow.

[1559] That was a legitimate part.

[1560] Huge!

[1561] I'm imagining any friend of mine getting a part like that in a comedy movie, that'd be pretty impressive.

[1562] How the hell does he not get more movies?

[1563] maybe you have the wrong management or something what a weird business huh show business is so strange that's why it's the best when you just concentrate just on stand -up that's one of the things I love about stand -up I don't have to worry about all these other variables all these other people just concentrate on my own shit just working on my own thing going up there busting it out improving it writing new shit putting it on a DVD and then repeat the process that's to me the most satisfying form of show business Yeah, the work part of it is handled by your agents and managers.

[1564] Like, how much, what's my quote for this place, or whatever?

[1565] But the part of it you have to deal with is stuff you want to deal with.

[1566] Yeah, it's fun.

[1567] It's exciting.

[1568] Yeah.

[1569] Thank you.

[1570] It's exciting to come up with new shit, man. It's exciting to put together a new special or improve a bit.

[1571] Oh, sweet.

[1572] Thank you very much.

[1573] Yeah.

[1574] You've got some water, bitches.

[1575] First class, they just come around and give you still water.

[1576] They just come around.

[1577] By the way, Ari and I are sitting together in our...

[1578] Ari's little cubicle.

[1579] My pod.

[1580] We're doing a pod podcast.

[1581] It's a pod podcast because we're on Qantas and they have these pods, man. They're fucking dope -alicious.

[1582] Yeah, it's a lot of room.

[1583] There's two seats in it.

[1584] Everybody gets two windows, three really.

[1585] Yeah, three.

[1586] Out the window and then you have not so much space it is like lengthwise.

[1587] You have this bed chair that turns into a bed.

[1588] A bunch of movies on a big screen.

[1589] It's like a TV that's not like a little headrest type deal.

[1590] You have your own TV.

[1591] It's like the TV you used to have in college.

[1592] It's like as good as that or a little bit better.

[1593] It's probably like 20 inches, right?

[1594] I don't know how to measure this.

[1595] That thing is 17 inches.

[1596] That thing is bigger than that.

[1597] Yeah.

[1598] It's bigger than that.

[1599] So it's pretty.

[1600] And you could push a button that it'll go away.

[1601] It's amazing.

[1602] Come back.

[1603] Amazing shit.

[1604] Yeah.

[1605] We're flying over the surface of the planet, 30 ,000 feet over the ocean.

[1606] The entire trip.

[1607] is taken over the ocean if anything goes wrong you're completely totally fucked there is no emergency landing it's not happening they have escaped hatches for first class you're 12 hours over the ocean in the air ooh how odd over the ocean nothing's around how odd is this that we can do this super casual yeah I mean this is some revolutionary human thing that we're experiencing here you know this has only been around for 100 years you know this is this is a blink not even a blink in human history which is a blink in the world's history well we already have the plane but it's like it's gotten to well they're pretty goddamn slick now you know it's amazing how efficient they are and how how they can keep using them over and over and over again they're just retired either Discovery or Challenger which everyone didn't blow up Challenger that did not blow up did the Challenger blew up I don't remember Discovery is the new one I think which was the new one I don't know I think it was a challenge I'm pretty sure yeah yeah you're right But one, they just retired.

[1608] They have a couple of them, right?

[1609] Yeah, but it's like, that's been in business for 30 years.

[1610] Yeah, it works.

[1611] It's amazing.

[1612] You know, there's some new studies that they've done where they're considering the possibility of an error or an eccentricity in the moon's orbit that they attribute to a large planet that's outside of Pluto.

[1613] You know, this is something that's being considered.

[1614] I think it was at Cornell.

[1615] It's pretty serious...

[1616] Yeah, well, it's not just this.

[1617] There's a bunch of different things that are pointing towards a huge object outside of Pluto.

[1618] And they're saying it's four times the size of Jupiter.

[1619] It's absolutely enormous.

[1620] And this is another finding that's one of a couple that they've come through with where they're calculating that there is something out there.

[1621] So this is like a theory they haven't quite totally decided on, like a lot of, you know, there's still some debate on it, but there seems to be several different things that are pointing towards it.

[1622] They don't know what it is, but it could be, you know, just some enormous gas giant, you know, it could be, who knows, could be like a star that we can't see, like one of those dwarf stars.

[1623] Like, are there stars that you can't see?

[1624] Isn't there?

[1625] Stars that you can't see with the naked eye?

[1626] With a naked eye?

[1627] Yeah.

[1628] I mean, like a type of star, isn't there?

[1629] I don't know.

[1630] I don't know.

[1631] I don't know enough about, yeah.

[1632] I don't know enough.

[1633] about that but I've heard that that some stars like literally can be be hidden you know they would have to be like really really far away and hidden like maybe that's a star that's burnt out you know that's like way way that could be I mean it's we're talking about something that's so far outside of our solar system it's you know it's I think further outside of Pluto than Pluto is to us it's really far but it's really big whatever it is I mean if you ever looked at one of those really cool um YouTube clips where they show you like the size of the sun and then the size of Earth and then the size of a bigger sun and a much bigger sun and a much bigger star and then giant giant galaxies where they have these huge you know I forget the terminology for the stars but enormous white and red stars that are like thousands and thousands of times bigger than our star just enormous monstrous stars and it's like you know you try to wrap your fucking head around and you're like wow How?

[1634] How big is this thing?

[1635] I mean, how big does it get?

[1636] How many of these are really giant, enormous things are out there?

[1637] It's tough to wrap your head around infinity.

[1638] It's impossible.

[1639] It's like, it's like trying to wrap your head around the universe is like trying to pick up the ocean with your hands.

[1640] Yeah, it's like, okay, so we have our galaxy.

[1641] Then what?

[1642] Then what?

[1643] Then another thing, then another thing, another universe.

[1644] And it's like, then what?

[1645] That's the end.

[1646] You're like, no, it just doesn't end.

[1647] It's too crazy.

[1648] Yeah.

[1649] It's, it's an amazing.

[1650] that we are flying through space, that we are in space right now.

[1651] Space is above our head.

[1652] It's an amazing thing that gets so little attention.

[1653] If it didn't exist and then all of a sudden it did, it would be the craziest thing ever.

[1654] If all of a sudden above us was infinity, you know, like out of nowhere.

[1655] The roof came off and we could see infinity.

[1656] We would be freaking out all the time.

[1657] Just the idea that there's nothing from your head straight up through to forever.

[1658] just go straight you know like that doesn't even make sense it's almost impossible to think about that yeah it's almost impossible to put every direction every infinite direction just keeps going so really this big planet outside of Pluto ain't shit you know if you're really no big deal you know in comparison to all the other stuff that's out there you know well why would you be surprised if there's a big planet out there but for a lot of people it seems preposterous like there's people that just don't want to believe that there's you know anything weird I wonder if there's any life that has a sun, you know, with their own star, in orbits, you know, with like the same solar systems like we have, but it's super small.

[1659] So, like, their Earth, whatever version of Earth is probably way closer to their star, because it's so much smaller, but everybody's, like, three, four, five inches tall.

[1660] Wow.

[1661] This is a little tiny planet.

[1662] Because if you think that there might be a huge planet with bigger people on it.

[1663] How small can a planet get and still be a planet, though?

[1664] Because Pluto was really tiny, and they stopped making it a planet, or they stop designating it as a planet It's now like a Kiper Belt object Pluto's not a planet anymore It's all ice?

[1665] Yeah, I think Pluto Well, I think Pluto's irregularly shaped I think Pluto like almost is like An asteroid, you know, almost is like You know, the Kiper Belt is a belt of large objects and there's one of them that they found that was three quarters of the size of Pluto That's just outside of Pluto Right before they decided that Pluto's not a planet anymore There was like a lot of debate back and forth It was a fairly recent decision that they made to stop having Pluto as a planet.

[1666] And the reason why they made is like, man, we're going to have to name a hundred planets.

[1667] There's a gang of Pluto's out there.

[1668] So what it is is like what Pluto is like one of the outer edges, one of outer Kuiper Belt objects.

[1669] And then since then, they've identified a bunch of Kuiper Belt objects.

[1670] But from what I understand, one of the first reasons why they suspected that something with a large amount of mass was way outside of Pluto is because all these objects, it gets to a certain point.

[1671] and it unnaturally drops off.

[1672] I think it's called the galactic shelf.

[1673] And what they were saying is that, you know, the most likely reason for that to happen is something really big outside of it with a lot of mass. So something's flying around out there.

[1674] Wow.

[1675] You know?

[1676] But that should really surprise us.

[1677] When we look at all those, you know, you look at half a shit that you see in the sky, there's stars.

[1678] I mean, not half a shit, but there's stars and there's even other galaxies out there.

[1679] It's not really, you know, we could look into the, you know, look into the Milky Way and see how many stars.

[1680] If you're in a country road, you know, if you're in some place, it doesn't have any light pollution.

[1681] I mean, they're just clustered, and it literally does look like milk.

[1682] And each one of them could have planets around it.

[1683] Most of them do, right?

[1684] Don't most stars have planets?

[1685] I don't know.

[1686] I think they do.

[1687] I mean, they've identified so many planets now.

[1688] The idea that, you know, that this is the only one that has something like us, it seems pretty silly.

[1689] Yeah, remember they've released that telescope, not the Hubble telescope, but the one they sent out to take pictures of Venus and Mars.

[1690] It was going to hit like five or six of the planets over how many hundred of years.

[1691] Yeah, yeah.

[1692] Voyager.

[1693] Okay.

[1694] And eventually you get, I don't know if it was going to get near Pluto or not, but when we lost contact with them, right?

[1695] They couldn't send back pictures anymore.

[1696] Is that what happened?

[1697] I don't know.

[1698] But in that, in that ship, these are all scientists and regular people.

[1699] They included stuff about humans and their makeup.

[1700] They actually made a gold plate.

[1701] Yeah.

[1702] had drawings on it of the shape of men and women.

[1703] Because at some point, they have to think, guys, let's be honest, it's possible.

[1704] Just in case, let's put some stuff about us.

[1705] Yeah, exactly.

[1706] They had a diagram with what planet we came from in the relationship.

[1707] There's nobody's to do that if you don't think.

[1708] It could go all along.

[1709] It's true.

[1710] And what's really interesting is that the way they wrote it out, you know, it really looks like something.

[1711] I mean, it's really cool.

[1712] Like a drawing of a man and a woman, very simple.

[1713] You know, the circles that represent the planets and showing which planet it came from.

[1714] you know, really almost like hieroglyphs.

[1715] It's really kind of bad ass.

[1716] Yeah, I guess it kind of is in hieroglyphs.

[1717] Yeah.

[1718] It's like this is the simplest, most mathematical way we can tell how they're grace about us.

[1719] Imagine if we really were the only things in the universe, though.

[1720] That's a real mind for it.

[1721] Can you imagine if this life thing is just a real weird aberration?

[1722] In 30 ,000 years, somebody just comes across that Voyager, and it's like, wait.

[1723] Oh, yeah, we found it.

[1724] It'd be some great discovery, like the Titanic.

[1725] What if it is, what if it really is that human beings, like, that we really, we really, really are only on this planet, and we really do only exist to facilitate the invention of some sort of a crazy universe -ending device, like the next stage of the large Hatchron Collider or some new type of atomic power that just literally blows a hole through the universe.

[1726] Yeah, I mean, what if that really is what people are here for?

[1727] We really do have some weird, almost parasitic or symbionic relationship to computers and technology.

[1728] Once you get into, if that's what we're here for, that sounds like fate.

[1729] Yeah, it does.

[1730] But I could say, what if that's our inevitable outcome?

[1731] That's one way I'm looking at it.

[1732] But, I mean, when you look at a caterpillar, what is it here for?

[1733] It's here to become a butterfly.

[1734] I mean, it's not its inevitable fate.

[1735] It's just, that's what it's here for.

[1736] It's going to become a butterfly.

[1737] And then what's a butterfly here for?

[1738] To die.

[1739] Probably to be a part of this huge mathematical program that, his life that incorporates wind and moisture and lightning and bugs and dogs and cats and all these different events happening all interconnected millions of events every minute constantly interacting with each other you know that's what a battle butterfly is what a butterfly is a part of this gigantic system you know what i mean it's no more no less you know what what is the significance of its place i don't know but it seems like everything is connected in that way Everything is.

[1740] So what we're doing, for sure, is making crazier and crazier shit all the time.

[1741] You know, I mean, you and I were so fascinated that this podcast was saved.

[1742] Yeah.

[1743] Because the iPhone crashed, and we just booted it up to my laptop, and it saved it on the laptop.

[1744] I mean, we were amazed at that.

[1745] And we are compelled, and we're drawn to the newest, greatest shit.

[1746] Like, oh, cool, and that does this.

[1747] Ooh, cool.

[1748] It's like your brain is rewarded with that.

[1749] You know, like we were talking about virtual reality and video games.

[1750] know, that are so immersive and that are more exciting than real life.

[1751] It's like you're being rewarded by making, the more you support these things, like getting better, the more you purchase them, which more drives the market, which drives innovation.

[1752] That's how drugs are created, too.

[1753] Exactly.

[1754] It is like a drug.

[1755] Is it like, like, like, like, Viagra or like anything, it's like, how much money can we get out of this?

[1756] Yes, how much money will get towards research.

[1757] Yes, exactly.

[1758] Yeah, of course, yeah.

[1759] Yeah, it's awesome.

[1760] I have blood pressure drugs.

[1761] That's all, like, we can get a lot of money for this.

[1762] Yeah.

[1763] So let's research it.

[1764] get something.

[1765] So video games is the same way.

[1766] They do way more business than movies.

[1767] It's amazing, isn't it?

[1768] Now they're through the roof.

[1769] I mean, now it's like, I mean, they're on epic levels, man. You know, games like Call of Duty, they just, they do like hundreds of millions of dollars, you know, constantly selling thousands and millions of copies, man. It's just incredible.

[1770] I mean, I don't know how many copies they sold worldwide, but I mean, everybody plays Call It Duty.

[1771] It has to be millions.

[1772] It must be millions.

[1773] people.

[1774] Yeah, it must, but there's no doubt about it.

[1775] There's certain games that are just like Madden.

[1776] Everybody talks about playing Madden.

[1777] I mean, how many people who are just looking at...

[1778] Damn, fucking episodes is that sold, or copies is that sold?

[1779] Must be fucking millions.

[1780] Every year they come with a new one.

[1781] Get people again.

[1782] That's what we're doing with the UFC game.

[1783] Every year.

[1784] Yeah, man, I'm working on that thing.

[1785] I put in some fucking long days, dude, doing commentary from that thing.

[1786] We do a lot of commentary.

[1787] Yeah, like, I do it sometimes.

[1788] I can't only do it for like four hours I just trash it's so intense you know it's like so you're so pushing and it's not like a UFC where it's like mostly downtime right well in the UFC you know sometimes nothing's happening yeah this is like if action was happening constantly every minute for four hours yeah that never happened to the UFC you know the UFC there's a lot of time where guys are moving around nothing's happening you know they're you're talking about what this guy needs to do what that guy needs to do you did you play that game I've played that game I've played that game I've played that game I've played that game I've played a lot of time I've I've played it a couple times, yeah.

[1789] Did you get to go to the ground or not?

[1790] No, I don't know.

[1791] I heard you play a bunch where you can learn the ground and I have no idea what's going on.

[1792] And I'm scared of it, you know, I'm scared of all video games, you know, because of my quick days, I'll never get fully into a video game.

[1793] Like, I give myself pool, I allow pool, because pool, there's like a mind -body connection that's going on to.

[1794] There's a Zen state to achieve.

[1795] Get even or good, yeah.

[1796] And it's, you know, that's, to me, beneficial.

[1797] It's not just, um.

[1798] It just hurts your body.

[1799] Both video games gets me crazy.

[1800] Like, I remember walking away from Quake, my heart's pounding.

[1801] Oh, yeah.

[1802] You know, my hands are sweating.

[1803] You can't sleep up to you play.

[1804] You can't be like, I'll play one more hour, then I'll go to sleep.

[1805] Like, no, I'm not sleeping after that level.

[1806] Yeah, so much fun, man. And they're only getting more and more fun, and they're only getting more and more immersive.

[1807] Yeah.

[1808] I've heard they're really good from the fighters.

[1809] They say the ground is, like, really sort of realistic, once you get the hang of it.

[1810] Wow.

[1811] Jen's Polver, I did an interview for where they put out, I think, year two.

[1812] Yeah.

[1813] So I did interview people outside of Strike Force event.

[1814] the UFC's like, fuck you, we're photo bombing your shit.

[1815] Oh, really?

[1816] That's funny.

[1817] Ask people about it.

[1818] So I asked Jen's pulver about it.

[1819] He was there and he was like, yeah, I was playing and, you know, I took people down.

[1820] I really got, all my friends, like, yeah, you should definitely have done this more in real life too.

[1821] People down, but you're good at this.

[1822] That's funny.

[1823] That's funny.

[1824] Yeah, Jen's Pulver's a real veteran.

[1825] He's one of those guys that got into that habit of banging with guys, you know, standing and banging and making the fights exciting for the fans, you know.

[1826] He had a real safety first style, and then he got criticized for it, and then he changed his style, became a little bit of a great, lightweight?

[1827] Lightweight.

[1828] Lightway, yeah, lightweight.

[1829] I don't believe it was called lightweight back then, though.

[1830] I think 155 at one point in time, I think they called it the Bannamway Championship at one point time.

[1831] I forget.

[1832] I need to go looking at that.

[1833] I might be talking out of my ass.

[1834] But I do think the names were different.

[1835] I think the lightweight championship was 170 in one time.

[1836] Like when Pat Militich first won, the 170 title, I'm pretty sure it was called lightweight.

[1837] Really?

[1838] Yeah.

[1839] Do they go back and change those when somebody's like for all -time stats?

[1840] Or somebody's like, who's the first lightweight champion?

[1841] They don't give that?

[1842] Well, I think by the time Jen's Pulver won it, I think it was lightweight.

[1843] That's a lightweight, yeah.

[1844] Yeah, I think it was lightweight back then.

[1845] I think he was the first UFC lightweight champion, though.

[1846] You know what?

[1847] I'm really, this is sad.

[1848] Usually I'm pretty good at this stuff, you know, but for whatever reason.

[1849] Flaming on the marijuana.

[1850] But he was one of the guys, yeah, while we're talking.

[1851] He was, Jens was one of the guys that was first, that was really good with his hands.

[1852] He was a really good boxer.

[1853] He even had some pro boxing fights.

[1854] Oh, really?

[1855] Yeah, he had some, he was...

[1856] Those guys, those pioneer guys, like, from that era, you know?

[1857] It's like, boy, those guys really blazed a trail.

[1858] There was nothing before them, you know?

[1859] There was, like, a few guys that entered into the sport, like, by the time Chuck Ladell got in, I mean, it was so new.

[1860] Randy Gautour, it was all so new.

[1861] Ninety -six.

[1862] It's like three years into the sport being born.

[1863] and created, you know, they were the first guys to try to, like, force their individual skill sets on other people.

[1864] And there's, a lot of them are still around today, which is the most incredible thing.

[1865] Henderson's still around the day, you know?

[1866] Randy's still around the day.

[1867] Randy's still around the day.

[1868] Randy's fighting in Toronto, dude, he's 48.

[1869] Who's gonna fight?

[1870] Machita.

[1871] He's fighting Mocha?

[1872] He's fighting Machita.

[1873] Once he been?

[1874] Where has he been, Lerer Mchita?

[1875] He just fought Rampage and lost a close decision.

[1876] That was his first fight after losing a title?

[1877] Yeah, yeah.

[1878] Yeah, he had a good fight with Rampage.

[1879] It was a real good fight.

[1880] The first two rounds were real close.

[1881] And the second round, Lyoto won.

[1882] He blitzkrieked, Rampage dropped him, got on top of him.

[1883] It was a real good round for Lioto.

[1884] But the first two, Rampage, in a lot of, I guess, in the judge's eyes, edged him.

[1885] Just edged him.

[1886] Although Liotto won the third in a pretty good margin, by a good margin, still Rampage got the decision.

[1887] And he won the first two rounds.

[1888] rounds by the judge's call.

[1889] But it was real close.

[1890] Real close first two rounds, you know.

[1891] Right.

[1892] Those are ones like, hey, these two rounds go either way, then it's like, you don't know what's not.

[1893] Well, I think they decided that Rampage was pushing the fight because Liotto moves away.

[1894] You know, Liotto is pretty practical and the way he moves.

[1895] It moves away, but he still punched the fuck out of people moving away.

[1896] I don't think many, many blows were really landed, clean blows, those first two rounds.

[1897] Then the third round, Yoto really took it over.

[1898] But it's just crazy that Randy is going to be fighting him.

[1899] 48 years of reach.

[1900] You know, he's a nut, man. Guys doing movies, and he still wants to get in the cage and punch guys in their face.

[1901] Yeah, he's hitting a boxer.

[1902] This is a legitimate, top shelf guy.

[1903] Yeah, dude.

[1904] This ain't, yeah, this ain't James Tony.

[1905] He's going to fight me Machita.

[1906] Liota Machita.

[1907] Yeah.

[1908] You know, Machita is so fast with his hands.

[1909] He's so dangerous.

[1910] I mean, he knocked out Tiago Sova.

[1911] Tiago Sova is a tough.

[1912] Yeah.

[1913] Yeah.

[1914] He knocked him out on the ground.

[1915] There was bull.

[1916] blasting him, got him on the ground, and put him away.

[1917] Bam!

[1918] Laser beam accuracy.

[1919] Knocked him the fuck out, man. And Tiago's a beast.

[1920] That guy's a big, tough gorilla.

[1921] He's really good.

[1922] Tiago's a strong guy.

[1923] The way he beat the shit out of Brandon Mare.

[1924] You know?

[1925] Beat him apart.

[1926] His nose was fit.

[1927] That was the ugliest nose break I've ever seen.

[1928] And he got released by the UFC brand for that?

[1929] Well, apparently, that release is in dispute now.

[1930] because Tiago Silva Pat had two urine samples and one of them tested positive so I think they're like they're having another test but they're if it comes in no contest then Brandon Verre doesn't get cut wait they'll uncut him yes I thought they just cut people because they make a decision like you know what you're not competitive enough anymore I don't think they can if you win really the only thing I think they can if you win is if you violate some sort of ethics code What if they give, like, four -fight contracts?

[1931] So I had three -fight contracts or five -fight contracts.

[1932] But they have, like, a certain amount of time?

[1933] I'm sure that, I'm sure it's, whatever it is, you know.

[1934] At the end of those fights, they can be like, yeah, we don't want to renew their contracts.

[1935] There must be something that, yeah.

[1936] But there must be some option that if the fighter loses, then they have an immediate option to cut them.

[1937] At any time.

[1938] Yeah, because it's almost always guys that get cut.

[1939] I mean, I'm sure everybody's contract is different.

[1940] But with Brandon, I mean, if it becomes a no contest, then he's not.

[1941] then it would, it might be that contractually he's allowed to stay.

[1942] It might be that, because then it's not a loss.

[1943] I like that.

[1944] That guy's a cool guy.

[1945] Brandon's a great guy.

[1946] He's a great guy.

[1947] He's having a hard time, man. I don't know what happened.

[1948] Somewhere along the line, some things changed for him.

[1949] He was at one point in time when he was fighting as a heavyweight man. He was a killer, dude.

[1950] They were talking about him in heavyweight for a while.

[1951] He smashed Frank Meir.

[1952] He knocked out Justin Isler's with a head kick.

[1953] You know, he choked out a swear he'll.

[1954] Silva, he was a beast, man. He was a dangerous, dangerous guy.

[1955] But something happened, and, you know, he lost to Tim Sylvia and broke his hand, and then he lost to Fabrice Huber Doom, and then he lost to John Jones.

[1956] The John Jones one was a big one, you know?

[1957] But, you know, he'd lost a few fights already by the time that rolled around, you know?

[1958] So it's, it's hard.

[1959] He lost to Keith Jardine at his first 205 final fight.

[1960] Is that what happened there?

[1961] Didn't he lose to Keith?

[1962] Yeah.

[1963] Yeah, I think so.

[1964] Yeah, he did.

[1965] Yeah, he did.

[1966] Yeah, Jardine must be so pissed.

[1967] He just can't get back to the UFC.

[1968] You cannot get back to it.

[1969] Yeah, I mean, guys he's beaten are in it.

[1970] You know, Jardine is, I like that guy a lot.

[1971] Yeah.

[1972] He's quite a character.

[1973] That's one of the cool things about the UFC.

[1974] All these weird characters that you get to meet, you know?

[1975] Because you can get a person, if you're just fighting mostly, you can get whatever kind of personality you want.

[1976] Yeah.

[1977] You don't have to be corporate.

[1978] Yeah, yeah.

[1979] Like Donald Saron.

[1980] It's just a fucking weirdo, man. All the people are fucking.

[1981] cool weirdos.

[1982] Yeah, yeah.

[1983] Yeah, he's a cool cowboy that likes Apple products.

[1984] He looks computers and shit.

[1985] Yeah, I love.

[1986] Cironi's a interesting guy to me too because he's so adaptable.

[1987] You know, he's got a wicked guard and wicked stand -up, and he's hard to take down.

[1988] And when guys take him down, man, he'll fuck you up off his back.

[1989] He's dangerous off his back.

[1990] There's some guys you get him down on their back and they just kind of hold on.

[1991] You know, they have a good defensive guard.

[1992] Maybe they can get up.

[1993] Maybe they go to get him back up.

[1994] But very few guys are really dangerous attacking off their guard like Seronius.

[1995] He's real dangerous off his back.

[1996] You know he was really good at it?

[1997] I saw a fight in strike force and it was some like Lebanese dude.

[1998] Oh, Gagard Musassi.

[1999] Yeah, he was attacking the fuck, and he was punching up from his back.

[2000] He's Armenian now.

[2001] Armenian, whatever it is.

[2002] You know what I mean?

[2003] Yeah, he's punching off the back too.

[2004] Yeah, he fought and mow the wall.

[2005] I thought he was getting the better of that exchange.

[2006] It's funny that you said that because that's the exact same discussion that I had with someone else, a very educated guy recently who thought, you know, if you looked at it on paper, you have to give it to him.

[2007] Yeah, he's on his ground.

[2008] His back, but on his back means you're susceptible to things.

[2009] Not that it is bad.

[2010] Right.

[2011] You'd be more susceptible.

[2012] You know, Boss Routen won the heavyweight championship off his back.

[2013] Really?

[2014] But yeah, blasting Kevin Rennelan with elbows and punches and he couldn't stop Rannerman from taking him down, but Rand couldn't stop Boss from fucking him up once he had him down.

[2015] At the end of the fight, you know, Boss had landed significantly more stuff from his back and so the referees and the judges rather gave it to him it was a big point of controversy because a lot of people thought Kevin Randall was on top he should be winning but boss has landed all these shots from the bottom but it's like let's say you have my back okay which I'm in a real weak position let's do you have that for four minutes up around right and then you cross your fucking feet and I do one of those moves where whatever that is the footlock move yeah it's like you lost I won right yeah so it doesn't matter how long you're it's like you can say you had the dominant position but show me with a with a win or by beating somebody up.

[2016] Scoring in MMA is a very weird thing.

[2017] You need to get better at that.

[2018] That annoys me as a fan.

[2019] Yeah, it does annoy me too.

[2020] There was this Nick Ring and Ricky Fukuda fight this weekend was particularly bad.

[2021] Fukuda took Nick Ring down every round, look beautiful takedowns, controlled top position, did an awesome job of, he's a wrestler, and he was doing an awesome job of utilizing his skills, and he got robbed and a decision.

[2022] And there was a lot of people booed.

[2023] Everyone went crazy.

[2024] It was real bad.

[2025] One of the worst ones I've seen.

[2026] When judges are two rounds off and that one like, oh, that could go either way.

[2027] Not like that.

[2028] Regular round.

[2029] And when there are two rounds off from each other, it's like, don't the quite us have to know going to the third round if you're up or down?

[2030] This is one thing.

[2031] This is one, another example of how badass Dana White is.

[2032] He gave the guy his win bonus.

[2033] He did?

[2034] Yes.

[2035] Gave the guy his win bonus.

[2036] He felt like the guy got robbed.

[2037] So he had both in win bonus?

[2038] Yep.

[2039] Yep.

[2040] He gave him his one bonus.

[2041] Wow.

[2042] Yeah.

[2043] I know he did that once when somebody had to pull out.

[2044] I think it was the other Armenian had to pull out of a fight.

[2045] And so he was so mad that he gave his opponent his win bonus.

[2046] Oh, really?

[2047] Because it ain't your fault that he pulled out.

[2048] Right.

[2049] Oh, was that one, Carl?

[2050] Yeah.

[2051] Carole had a pull out of a fight.

[2052] Yeah.

[2053] Yeah, he's got a bunch of things going on.

[2054] Yeah.

[2055] And David was like, fuck that.

[2056] You get yours.

[2057] It's not your fault.

[2058] You came to fight.

[2059] Yeah, he's cool like that.

[2060] Yeah, he's a very generous guy when it comes to that stuff.

[2061] It's cool to see, you know.

[2062] And he's right.

[2063] You know, that guy won, man. He shouldn't have got fucked.

[2064] Got fucked because these judges are incompetent.

[2065] Like, you're fucking his record up.

[2066] It's the only thing you can do about that.

[2067] So many competent judges, man. But I honestly think they need to revamp the scoring system.

[2068] So, like, we can't just leave it open to, you know, subjective interpretation of what is more worthwhile.

[2069] Is it more worthwhile to take a guy down or is it more worthwhile to hit him with a jab?

[2070] Is it more, you know, if you hit a guy with a jab and rock him, and then he shoots for a takedown, gets on top of you, and then doesn't do anything, who wins that exchange?

[2071] I mean, that's a good question.

[2072] I mean, I think, to me, I think it's clearly the guy who blasted you and they got taken down.

[2073] But then he took you down, even if he's not beating you up when he's got it.

[2074] He doesn't holding you and troll me. Like, a failed submission attempt does nothing to you.

[2075] It's true.

[2076] It's true.

[2077] It's a little bit, fighting off a rearnaker or something.

[2078] But, like...

[2079] True.

[2080] But you have to score it because the guy came close.

[2081] Came close, yeah.

[2082] Depends, but you also have to be skillful enough to know what close really means.

[2083] Because it'll be, you know, I'll see a guy when the guy's trying to get him in a Camorah, I'll say he's not going to get this.

[2084] Or a guillotine.

[2085] He's pulling in, like, he's not going to get this.

[2086] Go ahead, go ahead and try, but you're wasting your energy.

[2087] I know when someone's wasting energy.

[2088] I mean, I'm surprised every now, man. But for the most part, I know.

[2089] And the fighters that are in the weak position know, too, like, oh, I'm safe here.

[2090] Right, but some judges don't know.

[2091] Don't know that, yeah.

[2092] So some judges would look at that and go, he almost got him with that guillotine.

[2093] And you're like, no, he didn't almost get him with that guillotine.

[2094] Oh, I'm telling you, son, he almost got him.

[2095] He was very close.

[2096] But the guy's good at that technique, no. You have to be someone who actually trains in jujitsu and trains in striking and really understands the subtle nuances in order to judge it.

[2097] And I think, you know, they think that you can take these people.

[2098] They never even boxed.

[2099] They just judged boxing and then teach them how to judge MMA.

[2100] It's like, there's too much shit going on and they don't understand.

[2101] They're not going to know near submissions.

[2102] They're not going to know when someone's totally safe.

[2103] They're not going to know when someone's doing a technique wrong.

[2104] And the guy's never going to tap.

[2105] Sometimes guys will get, like, certain positions, and they'll yank on a technique, and I'm like, this is like, this doesn't work from this position.

[2106] This guy's on the wrong side.

[2107] You don't understand.

[2108] But the person who's the judge isn't going to know, they don't know that guy's wasting his time.

[2109] I love that when I'm in a crowd, and somebody just lying on the ground, they grab it in an arm, and everybody's just go!

[2110] And you're like, shut up.

[2111] They said nothing.

[2112] Yeah.

[2113] You get upset.

[2114] You're a super fan.

[2115] I quit making me interested.

[2116] Ari's a super fan.

[2117] You've been to so many, UFC.

[2118] You've been to so many.

[2119] Yeah, but it's so many.

[2120] Actually, this is the first one I actually skipped.

[2121] You've been to more live UFC's as a spectator than I have, man. Oh, yeah.

[2122] I've got a chance to go to a few of them as a spectator.

[2123] That's hilarious.

[2124] It's true.

[2125] I don't get the chance to see very many live fights as a spectator.

[2126] I only get to see, you know, for me, it's all calling it and watching it.

[2127] It's not the same.

[2128] You know, you can't get a truck.

[2129] You can't get high.

[2130] You can't eat popcorn and talk.

[2131] Yeah, you can't, you know, talk.

[2132] You can't talk.

[2133] You can't talk.

[2134] These fights sucks.

[2135] What are you up to next week?

[2136] People don't mind if you talk while the fights are going on either because there's so much action.

[2137] Just don't stand up.

[2138] It's so fun too to watch it in the audience and everybody's in it together and everyone's cheering together.

[2139] Like no one understands how great the entertainment value of this.

[2140] The music they get, everything, they don't, like, there's nothing they don't cover.

[2141] There's nothing I would rather see.

[2142] There's no movie I would rather see that would take place of me going to see some live UFC fights.

[2143] No way.

[2144] The greatest movie ever was like, Come on.

[2145] Avatar is awesome, you know, but it's not Anderson Silva versus Vitor Belford.

[2146] I got to sit, I got to watch Clayguita fight Diego Sanchez.

[2147] Yeah.

[2148] And one of the best fights I've ever seen.

[2149] Sit next to Claygwita's mom while I was on edibles and excessity.

[2150] And it was the best fun I've ever had in a fight.

[2151] I was on my knees.

[2152] Go, I got the fuck, come on.

[2153] That was at the Palm, too.

[2154] That was the real intimate.

[2155] And that was the best things we ever got.

[2156] We were front row.

[2157] Palm is the shit.

[2158] The Pearl, everywhere at the Pearl.

[2159] Yeah, if you're ever in Vegas and you want to go see some fights in Vegas, see the ultimate fighter finale, all the ones they do at the Palms.

[2160] If you want to, that's, to me, the best experience, you know.

[2161] And if you go live and even a seat, it's really good.

[2162] Every seat is good.

[2163] Every seat.

[2164] Yeah, it's the best place.

[2165] But a lot of times it doesn't have the marquee named fights, though, you know, unfortunately.

[2166] But still, it's fun, man. It's fun to be.

[2167] It's real intimate.

[2168] I like that intimate show.

[2169] I like that 4 ,000 seats or whatever.

[2170] whatever the hell it is.

[2171] How many is it?

[2172] What do you think that is?

[2173] The pearl.

[2174] I don't even know if it's not, man. If you're online, it could check.

[2175] What a perfect design that place is, the way the seeds are set up.

[2176] It doesn't go, in most places like the MGM, Randeley, whatever, any stadium.

[2177] It goes back and out, away from the thing.

[2178] But this, it only goes back like 30 rows or so, and then it goes to the next level.

[2179] Dude, Kat Williams does stand up there.

[2180] Yeah, and Lisa Lampinelli did it too.

[2181] God damn.

[2182] That's a lot of people.

[2183] In the round, I guess.

[2184] Is it?

[2185] No, no. Because you know the pearl, there's like, leachers that they have behind.

[2186] It's a setup on the stage.

[2187] So that would be backstage?

[2188] Yeah, that would be backstage.

[2189] Yeah, that place is giant.

[2190] Wow.

[2191] What's the biggest crowd do you ever perform in front of?

[2192] I think it was this last Vegas crowd.

[2193] I think that's 1700.

[2194] Yeah.

[2195] I don't think I ever did the 1800.

[2196] I think we had an 1800 cedar, but we didn't fill it up.

[2197] Yeah.

[2198] Where was that?

[2199] I think the more.

[2200] I think we had 1 ,500 or something.

[2201] Yeah.

[2202] And I think that was the biggest.

[2203] Yeah.

[2204] This Vegas one was a giant.

[2205] And I think about more than twice that is the Palms.

[2206] More than twice that.

[2207] Is what?

[2208] The Pearl.

[2209] More than twice the Mandalay Bay Theater.

[2210] We've played out.

[2211] Jesus.

[2212] The biggest thing I ever did is the K -Rock April Foolishness Show.

[2213] I think that's like 6 ,000 people.

[2214] Six thousand?

[2215] It's huge.

[2216] It's really huge.

[2217] Do you get a little nervous before that?

[2218] Yeah.

[2219] There's a lot of people.

[2220] There's a lot of people that might not like me. And it was a lot of good people on the card, too.

[2221] Jay Moore was on, Bill Burr was on, Sarah Sullivan was on.

[2222] I've done them with Patton Oswald.

[2223] I've done them with a lot of people, you know.

[2224] It's awesome, man. It's a fun show.

[2225] And those guys are, like, huge fans of comedy, so they have all these comics that come on the show all the time so that the audience members totally get used to these people.

[2226] That's the thing, too.

[2227] I remember reading about this in a comic central Last Laughs thing, just a live event that they could just talk about whatever happened in the year, has some performers.

[2228] Right.

[2229] It's waiting for them to make money.

[2230] But I remember people saying reviews of it, and people say how funny David Cross was and how funny Carlisman Cia was.

[2231] And it's like, those are such varied tastes.

[2232] Yeah.

[2233] Like, how can be a fan?

[2234] It was like, people can laugh at things.

[2235] Yeah.

[2236] And so when people say, like, you shouldn't like Larry the Cable got, same sort of thing.

[2237] It's like, why?

[2238] Right.

[2239] So, why should they not?

[2240] Right.

[2241] What's wrong with that?

[2242] They're something they're into.

[2243] Well, you know, there's always going to be a certain amount of people that liked something that's terrible.

[2244] It doesn't mean you have to be upset by it.

[2245] You know, you choose what to be upset by in life and what people like.

[2246] Why would you be upset by what people like?

[2247] But you don't do it with like oral taste?

[2248] Right.

[2249] People are like, how are you not like tomatoes?

[2250] Well, some people do, though, with meat, man. I've had a lot of annoying motherfuckers who are vegans who won't leave me alone, but it's more of an ethical consideration.

[2251] About eating meat.

[2252] But it's not about your taste.

[2253] You know, that's why I've been saying that on stage, like, I totally went vegan because I found out that if you don't kill animals, they live forever and then they cure cancer.

[2254] I've been saying that lately on stage when I do my vegan character.

[2255] Because, you know, because it's fucking silly, man. These animals are going to die.

[2256] I mean, I don't believe in animal cruelty, but I think, you know, you've got to eat animals.

[2257] They're delicious.

[2258] I get it if you don't, because you have empathy, or sympathy, whichever one's right?

[2259] I totally don't think they should suffer.

[2260] I agree with you on that.

[2261] I'm into game.

[2262] I've been buying game lately.

[2263] Game meat, like venison.

[2264] I love going.

[2265] restaurants and ordering venison and I've found a place in New Zealand deer deer and elk really good for you I have this theory never had elk it's delicious reindeer elk is delicious I have this theory about animals that the animals that are tough to catch are the ones that are really good for you like fish fish are hard to catch and they're really like high in nutrition very healthy for you you know less they have mercury poisoning from people in their fucking shitty pollution grain fed grain fed is not Graven -fat cows.

[2266] It's not natural for grain, for them to be eating grain.

[2267] Oh, what is it?

[2268] When they're all fat and juicy and marbly like that, that's, that tastes good.

[2269] It tastes awesome.

[2270] It's good to cook on the grill, but that's not normal for a cow.

[2271] But you have one free range, whatever it is.

[2272] It's supposed to be good for you.

[2273] Like, it helps speed up in metabolism and, like, burn fat.

[2274] Well, free -range beef is grass -fed beef.

[2275] Grass -fat, that's it.

[2276] Yeah, it's much better for you.

[2277] When you're feeding animals, these grain -based diets, they're only doing it to fatten up the animal.

[2278] They only do it.

[2279] And it's funny because there was a guy, I talked about this on the podcast once, and a guy who's a scientist emailed me a really good description.

[2280] He actually works for a chicken laboratory.

[2281] And he explained to me how it all goes down.

[2282] And he said that chickens, contrary to popular belief, it's not hormones.

[2283] You know, chickens, like if you ever watch food ink or any of those documentaries, they get super huge and they can't even walk.

[2284] But really, it's just breeding.

[2285] They just breed them to get that big.

[2286] But with cows, They pump cows for all kinds of shit.

[2287] They pump them up for all kinds of steroids.

[2288] Oh, really?

[2289] And he said the thing with antibiotics is you're supposed to, like, say if your chickens need X amount of days to grow.

[2290] But when you give them antibiotics, you have to cut, like you can't, you're not allowed to bring them to slaughter for like 20 days or whatever the hell it is.

[2291] They've got to work through their system.

[2292] So when people are unscrupulous, then they'll kill a chicken, even though they know that the antibiotics don't exist.

[2293] system, and then it can get in your system.

[2294] And then, you know, hormones and all sorts of other types of things can get in your system from beef and shit, from the same way.

[2295] It's weird because people, just reminds me the Simpsons episode, with Bart went to France to work on a winery, and they didn't have enough grapes to fill up all their stocks.

[2296] They used serpentine to fill up the rest.

[2297] It goes, these ideas, they will not do.

[2298] But the law came down on.

[2299] But yeah, it's a weirdest thing, it's like this, it's not, when people, when I grew up, People said, no, you need only grass -fed be, you're really natural.

[2300] It's this idea of like natural is better, but sort of like a zen -y kind of thing, spiritual.

[2301] But it's like, then you think about it, and I saw this video, and it sort of changed me a little bit, where it's like, no, no, no, it is different for your body.

[2302] One is good for your body, this type of beef that comes from grass -fed, and one is bad for your body.

[2303] That's interesting.

[2304] I've never heard that before.

[2305] I know it's leaner protein.

[2306] They said it helps feed, it helps burn fat.

[2307] Really?

[2308] It said that, raw almonds, but they said not baked almonds, are salted on this, only the raw ones.

[2309] Huh.

[2310] I need to look into that with grass -fed beef, because I've never heard that before.

[2311] But my theory about game has always been that, you know, deer really hard to catch, elk are really hard to catch, and that, like, there's, like, a great reward for catching them.

[2312] They're very nutritious, you know?

[2313] It's like they're very lean and high in protein, and I think fish in the same way.

[2314] I mean, we figured out how to catch fish.

[2315] Well, salmon in the wild are better for you than salmon when it's easy to catch them, they're just sitting there.

[2316] Yeah, farmed salmon, yeah.

[2317] This is the weirdest thing?

[2318] They have a different color.

[2319] Yeah, they have to put, in salmon, they put dye, in it to make it pink because they've lost their color, the light color.

[2320] The life color that they get from being wild.

[2321] Wild as fuck out there killing minnows and shit.

[2322] That's the strong survive.

[2323] Fine for survival.

[2324] Is it a sharper?

[2325] Is it real?

[2326] That's why they're so good to catch because salmon are so fucking strong.

[2327] That's why they're so fun.

[2328] Now they're not just delicious.

[2329] They fight hard.

[2330] You know, salmon fight hard.

[2331] It's awesome to catch them.

[2332] We really got to do that.

[2333] We really got to go Alaska.

[2334] Dude, we should.

[2335] I love fishing, man. Fishing is fun as fuck.

[2336] I used to love rainbow trout fishing, which is similar to They fight so hard, man. We used to catch them all the time at, God, what's the name of the place?

[2337] Jamaica Pond and Jamaica Plain.

[2338] Jamaica.

[2339] Jamaica, Massachusetts.

[2340] We'd go to Jamaica Pond and catch rainbow trouts.

[2341] Fucking big ones, too, man. It was fun.

[2342] You know?

[2343] Caught a big brown trout there once.

[2344] It was like three pounds.

[2345] I was like, holy shit.

[2346] Wow.

[2347] Yeah, it was so fun.

[2348] Catching trout, trout.

[2349] Like, they're such beautiful creatures.

[2350] Trout and salmon, you know, they have tragical colors to them, you know?

[2351] There's that one fish that we were trying to.

[2352] to catch the time we went in Inglewich, we'd cut salmon for a while, and then we're supposed to catch halibut.

[2353] Hallibut.

[2354] Yeah.

[2355] Which are humongous.

[2356] And that's like, it's not like, I got one, wait five minutes, I got another one.

[2357] It's like, you go after one for like a while.

[2358] Yeah, they can be hundreds of pounds.

[2359] Yeah.

[2360] And once you even catch them on a line, then it's wrestling for tiring them out.

[2361] Yeah.

[2362] It's not crazy.

[2363] That's like, whoa.

[2364] Pull them out of the water.

[2365] Yeah.

[2366] It's a, oh, and they're delicious too.

[2367] Halibut is delicious, you know?

[2368] There's something about catching something.

[2369] and then eating it.

[2370] I was in Mexico, in Cancun, and I went to, we got on the boat and caught these mahi -mahi.

[2371] And then they cooked them up, literally an hour after they were dead, we were eating them.

[2372] I mean, maybe two hours after they're dead, maximum.

[2373] And it was so good.

[2374] The Nick Adams stories, this is Hemingway, this set of short stories that all sort of about him.

[2375] But he talks about, like, he grew up on reservations, like near reservations, hang out of the Indians all the time.

[2376] And he was talking about how if he fish, He didn't understand why if you fish and then fry him up immediately, it was so much better until way later in life and he said, that's just the thing.

[2377] Yeah.

[2378] But, yeah, I guess it's like, yeah, the fresher they are, it's different than like...

[2379] If you catch a trout and then cook it, like, get a fire going, and then cook it, like, right after you catch it.

[2380] Yeah, I think fresh water is a lot better for that.

[2381] Yeah.

[2382] I don't know.

[2383] Fresh water, it's very important to eat them fresh.

[2384] They get gamey pretty quick.

[2385] I think the salt water, saltwater probably, you have a little bit more time.

[2386] Maybe.

[2387] I mean, maybe I'm just guessing.

[2388] But salt water is so mysterious to me. Fresh water's fun, because, you know, there's some great fun fishes to catch, like, large -mount bass and trout and stuff like that.

[2389] But saltwater's so crazy, because you don't know what the fuck's out there.

[2390] You don't know the ocean, man. You know?

[2391] I mean, you might pull up a grouper or something, you know?

[2392] What's a grouper?

[2393] A big giant bass -looking thing, you know, especially if you're in, like, Florida, or somewhere tropical.

[2394] Holy shit.

[2395] You can catch anything, man. Sharks.

[2396] You can catch sharks.

[2397] You can catch sea bass.

[2398] There's a huge variety of fish.

[2399] A whale came up, like 20 yards off our boat.

[2400] Jesus Christ.

[2401] A killer whale or a whale whale?

[2402] Just a whale.

[2403] Jesus.

[2404] 20 yards?

[2405] That's so close.

[2406] Yeah, it was so close.

[2407] It was a little baby whale, but it was a giant thing.

[2408] And she kind of went up and splashed down.

[2409] We're like, that's right there.

[2410] We have our line in the same water as happened.

[2411] It's weird that we distinguish them like what's smart and what's not smart.

[2412] You know, like whales.

[2413] Like we discourage people from whaling.

[2414] And one of the reasons, not just that they're in.

[2415] endangered people like you know they're we feel like we shouldn't kill them like they're intelligent you know closer to us yeah yeah in some way it's weird because we have the opposite for um retards they shouldn't kill them because they're not intelligent it's true only kill the point intelligent people it's good point yeah what is it about uh whales the japanese don't give a fuck though they just kill a shit out of whales they're like idiots they're not as smart as us okay relax yeah they're not us yeah they don't fall into that at all dolphins or whale they They fucked dolphins up, too.

[2416] Did you watch the Cove?

[2417] Did you see the Cove?

[2418] No, I never saw it either.

[2419] I haven't.

[2420] I haven't watched it.

[2421] I'm scared to watch it, because I know what it's about.

[2422] It's all about swattering dolphins.

[2423] For game?

[2424] For sport?

[2425] No, the tuna fishermen do it.

[2426] You know, they do it because the dolphins eat their tuna.

[2427] Oh, right.

[2428] You know?

[2429] I mean, look at it that way.

[2430] I see what they're saying.

[2431] I mean, they need these tuna.

[2432] Oh, God damn.

[2433] It's so ruthless.

[2434] I've seen some videos online of them killing tunas, or killing rather, dolphins on a dog.

[2435] Or they just go into the dog and they just fucking start spearing them.

[2436] Yeah, well, the footage that I've seen is them cutting a dolphin's throat off on a dock, just slicing his throat, and the thing's alive, and it's dying and kicking, and blood's pouring out.

[2437] How do they get it on the dock?

[2438] They hoisted it up?

[2439] I just fucking just got it, just cut his neck open.

[2440] It's really hard to watch, man. Is dolphin meat any good?

[2441] I don't know.

[2442] I never heard of anybody eating it.

[2443] I know.

[2444] Shark meat, I know.

[2445] Shark is delicious.

[2446] Alastor Overaam eats shark.

[2447] he's shark and horse meat horse meat that's just thinking by the other day is that good that's always the like it's horse meat it's filler people shit on that but is it good um you know Alster says there's a lot of protein in it it's like you get power strong as fuck yeah like you see a horse race and slow motion like those are muscles that's delicious beef there's a horse down the street from my house and it just sits in its yard it barely moves just stand still and then they take it for a ride every now and then and this thing is swollen it's yoked super strong, just naturally super strong.

[2448] Not really.

[2449] It's always in that cage.

[2450] You would think to look like that, you would think that thing has to be at the gym all day.

[2451] But no, it's just standing there.

[2452] Just giant, rippling, shiny muscles.

[2453] Jesus.

[2454] I think we're, right now it's kind of late at night, unfortunately.

[2455] It's, uh, what times are here?

[2456] This thing always says, well, we're at 141, which is, which means, yeah, it's 839.

[2457] And a lot of these people are going to sleep.

[2458] There's lights out around us, and we're being loud as fuck.

[2459] So we will end this podcast on a plane.

[2460] Thank you, everyone.

[2461] And Ari Shafir's new podcast will be called The Skeptic Tank, because of my love for shit, the fan suggested it, and because I like to skeptically, you know, think about subjects.

[2462] Hmm, intelligent analyzation, analysis, whatever.

[2463] Anyway, you can, it's connected to the Death Squad podcast chain that Brian has put together.

[2464] So if you go to Death Squad .tv, I think Brian has them listed up there.

[2465] Is that what it is?

[2466] Desquod .com.

[2467] And then he also, Death Squad on iTunes.

[2468] If you go to iTunes through the iTunes store, you know, it's for free.

[2469] And you can find the Death Squad podcast and just find Aris.

[2470] And you can listen to those individually.

[2471] and um all right so that's it folks thank you for tuning in oh i have to thank the fleshlight even though i don't have one here and this is an impromptu podcast they do sponsor us and we appreciate them so uh go to fleshlight dot com and uh would use it on an airplane bathroom yeah i'd use it in the airplane bathroom but i would have to warm myself up before i did it and i think that would have to be no i'd have to be like three quarters hard at least before i got out of my seat you know and then in walking to the bathroom i'd probably lose at least half of that so it's like yeah and then i'd have to go in somehow with some sort of a bag hiding this enormous fleshlight but yeah i would use it i've jerked off in bathrooms in the plains before yeah me too how many times uh for a while it was a sport for me i was trying to see when they say we're gonna fly over arkansas i'm like oh arkansas never could off over that so i'd try to run to the bathroom you know A little check map Everything.

[2472] And on that note So if you go to Joe Rogan .net and click the link for Flashlight You can put in the code name Rogan And you get 15 % off And we got a bunch of podcasts this week Tomorrow, which is Monday Duncan Trussell will be on And then Friday we got Brian Callan And then next week we're going to try to do Ari and Joey again Because the last time we did it, the power went out So that's it Thanks everybody.

[2473] Thank you everybody that came out to Sydney We had a great fucking time Yeah, awesome.

[2474] Thank you very much, guys.

[2475] And holler at your boy.

[2476] Love you, bitches.

[2477] This special edition of the Joe Rogan experience, like all of the episodes of the podcast, is sponsored by the number one male sex toy, The Flashlight.

[2478] If you go to Joe Rogan .net, click on the banner on the right side that says Flashlight.

[2479] And if you buy something, use the coupon code Rogan to save you 15%.