Armchair Anonymous: News

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[3] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

[4] I'm Dax Randall Shepard.

[5] I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman.

[6] When you made the news, was your full name listed?

[7] No, I don't think they used my name.

[8] showed me spitting the cherry seed across and what they did you know those folding tables not the plastic ones but the old -fashioned wood ones but the legs would collapse right right those were a standard six feet so the spitting area was many of those laid out in a line so that you could get a good measurement oh wow of the cherry speed but of course my story isn't good enough to have made this episode of the show.

[9] Some of these making the news stories took twists and turns that are out of an Agatha Christie novel.

[10] Is that how we say your name?

[11] Yes.

[12] Good job.

[13] These are incredible.

[14] These people made the news.

[15] Some of their lives changed as a result of it.

[16] This was fun.

[17] And we had a lot of good submissions for this.

[18] So we only could take four, but really cool stories.

[19] Yeah.

[20] Maybe we'll circle back to this one.

[21] But this one's safe for listening.

[22] I'm going to give it an okay.

[23] A thumbs up.

[24] Um, you don't want them to?

[25] Yeah.

[26] They can't.

[27] Okay, half -hearted yes for Monica and a pretty rousing and joy from me. I think there was a part that people can't listen to.

[28] But, oh, yeah.

[29] They'll know it when they get to it.

[30] You'll know it once you listen to it that you can't listen to it.

[31] All right.

[32] Please enjoy times you made the news.

[33] All times come and go.

[34] Good times.

[35] Take them slow.

[36] I had a bow I'll have a one thing You gotta know How's it going?

[37] Good, how are you?

[38] I love this color of dark blue behind you Thank you My gosh, you look just like my friend Joe For a second, I thought you were my friend Joe Playing a prank on you a different episode Yes, wrong episode Where are you at in the country, my friend?

[39] Just outside of Boston Masshole, is that the nickname?

[40] Yeah, that's pretty much it Oh, no!

[41] Well, no, I didn't come up with that And I love people from Boston.

[42] But every time I talk to someone from Boston, they say that.

[43] They say that?

[44] Was he a mousal?

[45] Do you know Ben and Matt?

[46] I do not, unfortunately.

[47] Major massholes.

[48] Ah.

[49] What?

[50] I'm required to ask anyone from Boston if they know Ben and Matt.

[51] Another life, maybe.

[52] Yeah.

[53] Okay, so, Luke, you made the news.

[54] How long ago was this?

[55] What age were you?

[56] It was four years ago.

[57] So I was in my late 20s.

[58] And what happened?

[59] Set the stage for us.

[60] Tell us what happened.

[61] We're doing it.

[62] Yes.

[63] We're getting newsworthy.

[64] Yeah, to preface this, the local news in the Boston area is like super aggressive.

[65] And there's like seven different channels.

[66] They do a really good job and I heat it up.

[67] When you say they do a really good job and they're on it, are they doing a lot of those like gotcha pieces where they go to the muffler shop?

[68] And this is Sally, you gave her a whole exhaust system.

[69] She only needed that kind of stuff is happening.

[70] Yeah.

[71] They do the whole crazy doom and gloom stuff so well.

[72] And also like the really, really gushy, positive stuff, which I think doesn't get mentioned enough.

[73] I share this hobby of yours.

[74] We often go to the sand dunes close enough to Arizona that we get the Yuma News, small town in Arizona.

[75] I don't know why.

[76] That's my favorite half hour of my life is watching the Yuma News.

[77] Because they got to make a lot of news out of, there's not a lot happening, you know?

[78] Yeah.

[79] So yeah, four or five years ago, leave work, like 536 in February in Boston.

[80] It's absolutely terrible.

[81] There's just tons of traffic.

[82] So put on my big headphones, which I will never do again after what happened.

[83] walking down the sidewalk, going to meet my now wife for dinner, I'm kind of stopped at this really busy intersection, and there's always cars block in the box.

[84] You cannot do that in Boston.

[85] People will, like, stab your tire.

[86] So there's like this little split between two of the cars, kind of in the middle of the intersection, and they're stopped.

[87] And I'm just standing at the corner of the sidewalk, ready to cross the street, kind of look up, and then there's headlights really coming at me, real, real, real fast.

[88] And this car kind of comes through and just misses me, and I'm sitting next to a building, hits this woman real fast, real hard.

[89] Oh my God.

[90] Yeah, I don't know if you've ever seen someone to get hit by a car, but it's insane.

[91] Your shoes fly off, saw her beat up in the air.

[92] I knew that it was really bad.

[93] Thankfully, the car hit the building and stopped rolling, but she was still in front.

[94] So I go run around the car to go check on her, and she's screaming a lot.

[95] So that's good because I didn't know she should be alive.

[96] Oh, true.

[97] Sure.

[98] Legs are broken.

[99] Visibly.

[100] Yeah.

[101] I'm going to advise everyone not to listen to this episode, but I'm interested.

[102] And I was like, who just did this?

[103] This is bad.

[104] Kind of make eye contact with the person in the front seat.

[105] The person immediately books it.

[106] Sure.

[107] And I'm like, oh, great.

[108] It's time now.

[109] So I drop all my stuff.

[110] Wow.

[111] No. I run after him.

[112] Real quick.

[113] What's the age of the assailant?

[114] I bet pretty similar to me. Late 20s.

[115] And is he seemed to be in shape?

[116] Are you like, oh, God, I'm not going to be able to keep up with this guy or?

[117] No. Okay.

[118] Not in good shape.

[119] Okay.

[120] Quite a bit shorter than me. And then, As I quickly caught up to him, could smell he's drunk.

[121] Short and drunk.

[122] Catch him.

[123] Don't really want to hurt him or anything.

[124] So just kind of push him down and he falls.

[125] But hold on, Luke, this is your great, great opportunity in life.

[126] It never presents itself where you could run and tackle someone on the sidewalk and be completely justified.

[127] No, you did the right thing.

[128] And this is the moment you dream up.

[129] No. Have you got a superhero complex?

[130] You just wanted to stop him.

[131] You didn't want to be on his body and stuff.

[132] The only thing is bleeding from the head.

[133] Oh, he was bleeding.

[134] I just got into it.

[135] Her accident turns me off a little bit from doing that.

[136] Okay, I understand.

[137] He pushed him down.

[138] He keeps trying to get back up.

[139] So finally, I hear two police officers that must have been on foot near the whole thing.

[140] And they're running behind me. As I push him down one more time, his shorts get caught on his knee.

[141] He just stands up and their shorts come up now.

[142] Oh.

[143] He's naked or semi -naked man. Did you see his penis and testicles?

[144] That was another reason to, like, back away a bit.

[145] Let the professional step in.

[146] His pants are up.

[147] He's all yours.

[148] Go ahead.

[149] And then he punched me in the face.

[150] No. Oh, yeah.

[151] With his pants down.

[152] Yeah.

[153] So, yeah, I'm pissed.

[154] Now I'm ready to, you know, the police were right there, and they pulled me off.

[155] And there's an ambulance back there now.

[156] I'm screaming.

[157] There's cops there, and they're blocking him for me. And then eventually the detectives are like, you need to calm down now.

[158] And I was like, okay, okay, fine.

[159] They just took my statement and put me on the way.

[160] And I was like, that was nuts.

[161] And then I'd go back to my bag.

[162] Someone stole my headphones.

[163] Oh, no. That's your role.

[164] reward for being a good Samaritan.

[165] Those assholes.

[166] Yeah.

[167] I leave when I was like, that was insane.

[168] And it was weird that the cops just take my statement are like, that's it.

[169] And I'm like, great.

[170] So the next day, I'm just at work.

[171] And all of a sudden, I start to get dozens of calls constantly.

[172] And I'm kind of like, wow, this is really odd.

[173] And then I pick one up.

[174] And it's one of the local news stations.

[175] So the police report must have dropped and kind of talk to them a bit.

[176] And then I was like, hold on.

[177] This is going to get really crazy.

[178] I did want to go on the local news.

[179] You have your pick of the litter.

[180] so I would imagine you're going to want to prioritize your favorite station.

[181] Yeah, so I did.

[182] Oh, wonderful.

[183] And then, yeah, it was a great interview.

[184] It was with the guy I was hoping I'd get.

[185] Did you go to their studio or did they come to your work?

[186] They booked it right down to my work.

[187] Wow.

[188] They were there within like 10 minutes.

[189] Wild.

[190] And so you're standing in front of your job telling us, yeah, so I'm just standing on the side.

[191] All of a sudden.

[192] Yep.

[193] And you're a hero.

[194] This is the dream.

[195] We've talked about this extensively.

[196] Is that I'm not allowed to stick around for that interview and be celebrated.

[197] So, yeah, get on two channels.

[198] Interviews are great.

[199] Go back to my apartment later that night, talking to my roommates at the time.

[200] And we lived in Cambridge on, like, the first floor apartment.

[201] There's no entryway.

[202] It was just a door into our apartment.

[203] So I hear the door open.

[204] And I'm like, this is not good.

[205] And so I turn around, and it's the 6 '5 newscaster dude with a camera crew who just was like, oh, sorry, I didn't realize this was your apartment.

[206] And you're Luke, right?

[207] And I was like, get out of my house.

[208] This is way too aggressive.

[209] You're breaking and entering.

[210] Yeah.

[211] Oh, that would have been great, though, if they were running the camera at that moment.

[212] And they're like, we tried to catch up with the hero.

[213] And he was just, get out of my house.

[214] Really aggressive.

[215] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[216] Please are no wondering if he was working in concert with the same.

[217] The assailant.

[218] Was the woman okay?

[219] No. I mean, yeah, yeah, she recovered.

[220] Oh, my God.

[221] Oh, Jesus Christ, Luke.

[222] No, absolutely not.

[223] She was a cult student.

[224] She was from Romania.

[225] Oh, no. Oh, my mom couldn't.

[226] and get into the country when I met her mom later.

[227] It was a mess.

[228] So it was totally fine.

[229] She recovered.

[230] And were you asked to go to the court trial of this guy?

[231] Yeah, grand jury.

[232] Were you at all worried when you cooperated with all these news stories that maybe he would then find you and try to confront you?

[233] A little bit.

[234] Did we find out anything more?

[235] He just was hammered and then he was just out of control in a car?

[236] They had stolen the car.

[237] And why it got probably even more news attention was because it was Uber in 2018.

[238] Uber was way in the news.

[239] It was an idling car, and they jumped in it, and they had just robbed a liquor store.

[240] You took down an actual criminal.

[241] Yeah, good job.

[242] There was two, and one got away, which is unfortunate.

[243] Board shorts didn't roll over on the other guy.

[244] I don't think so.

[245] You got to tip your hat to that.

[246] I don't know.

[247] No, you don't.

[248] No, you know.

[249] Okay, I just found out this just and you don't have to tip your hat to that.

[250] Wow.

[251] Okay.

[252] Well, look, that was an incredible story.

[253] Thank you so much for telling it.

[254] I would love to see those.

[255] Board shorts.

[256] but I would love to see the interviews.

[257] Yeah, I know.

[258] I know.

[259] When you watched them, because you guys all get, it must have gathered around to watch them, were you pleased with your performance on them, or were you nitpicking?

[260] It was pretty good.

[261] I'm like really lanky, so I put my hands everywhere and I looked like a giant spider or something.

[262] Otherwise, it was good.

[263] The Chiron or Shiron.

[264] Yeah, I don't know how to say that word either.

[265] I think it's Chiron.

[266] It was tackled suspect.

[267] Oh, yeah.

[268] That was a screen grab I got.

[269] That's nice.

[270] That should be your profile pick on all your social medias.

[271] Yeah.

[272] Well, Luke, great meeting you.

[273] Thanks so much for telling us that story.

[274] Great to meet you guys.

[275] All right.

[276] Be well, brother.

[277] See you.

[278] I'm so jealous.

[279] I mean, I don't want a woman to get hurt, but I would love to chase down a fucking.

[280] No, she was not okay.

[281] Oh, my God.

[282] Yeah, that was a pop out.

[283] No, I don't want anyone to get hit by cars so you can go out on the news.

[284] No, but I do want to chase down.

[285] For press.

[286] Yeah.

[287] And they showed me at the cherry seed spitting contest in Traver City during Cherry Festival, ding ding ding arm jerrys and that was on the local news they didn't interview but they showed me spitting i won i won i was when i was 12 or 13 what a summer went with my friend matt met this girl spirally curly blonde hair she was so beautiful she was staying at the same like encampment and i won that thing was on the news and she liked me wow yeah a really great week i got on the news once for a drawing the weatherman had it when i was like seven or eight oh really what do you mean They asked, like, submit drawings.

[288] Oh, cute.

[289] What'd you draw?

[290] I think just like a son and a boy.

[291] Oh, I thought it was a sketch of the newscaster.

[292] Weatherman.

[293] That would have been great.

[294] So it was just, he was picking?

[295] I guess.

[296] Maybe there were not a lot of submissions either.

[297] Oh, no, I bet there was.

[298] Maybe we're the only submit.

[299] Maybe.

[300] Submitten?

[301] I feel like you dreamed this, Rob.

[302] No, no. This is a real.

[303] Hello.

[304] Kyle?

[305] Yeah.

[306] How are you?

[307] you guys.

[308] In fact, you sound really good, Kyle.

[309] We talk to a lot of people via Zoom, and this sounds very clear.

[310] Thank you.

[311] It's these old Apple headphones.

[312] The mics on them are not bad.

[313] How are you guys doing?

[314] Wonderful.

[315] Where are you at, Kyle?

[316] I am in Sacramento, California.

[317] Oh, someone just told me that that that leads the nation and suicide rate.

[318] Have you heard that?

[319] Oh, God.

[320] I've not heard that.

[321] I don't know that I like that.

[322] I don't know that I even buy it, but maybe Wabiwob when he's done text messaging his side piece.

[323] He'll search that.

[324] We're going to find out throughout the course of this story.

[325] Were you born and raised in Sacramento or did you move that?

[326] I was.

[327] And am I right that?

[328] No, I'm getting to confuse with Bakersfield.

[329] They say Bakersfield is the only city in California.

[330] It's completely independent.

[331] Like it has oil, it has everything it needs.

[332] That doesn't sound like Sacramento.

[333] No. But I just flew in there two weeks ago to go up to Thunder Hill, the racetrack.

[334] Beautiful airport, Sacramento.

[335] Shockingly nice, right?

[336] Pretty recent renovations.

[337] Big giant red bunny in the middle there as he come down escalator.

[338] Yeah, really good food options.

[339] Like what?

[340] Well, just like upscaling kind of, I'll take you there in five seconds.

[341] I'll eat every place in there.

[342] Do you throw up?

[343] Then we'll get back on the plane.

[344] Okay, Kyle, you made the news, which is always an exciting thing.

[345] Yeah, so I was a high school theater teacher for about 10 years in a suburb right outside of Sacramento called Granite Bay.

[346] It's a really affluent community.

[347] It's like we're all the Sacramento Kings buy their homes and stuff like that.

[348] Every year, we would do the same thing where we had to figure out what show we were going to do.

[349] So I was really lucky.

[350] I had a musical director named David, who I brought in, because I couldn't do the singing in the music.

[351] And he's a very talented composer and musician.

[352] And I convinced him that we should write a musical for the students for the next year.

[353] Very ambitious.

[354] Yeah.

[355] My hat's off to you for biting that off.

[356] I appreciate it.

[357] We'd done some like little writing projects previously and I'd always said we should write a musical but as the composer the one that has to do like the sheet music and the orchestrating and it's a lot more work than the guy who's going to write the story I think yeah as far as tedious labor is concerned so he was never really on board with it but then finally convinced him we talked to our students we said what do you want to talk about and they said the thing that we would love to communicate is just how stressed we are and how my god suicide terrible school is and the tests and the AP scores.

[358] The pressure to be in a college and all that.

[359] Yeah.

[360] At this high school, like 99 .8 % graduation rate, 98 % were going to colleges.

[361] The valedictorian was like a 4 .7, just insane pressure.

[362] So we started writing a musical about that and really kind of like worked with our students.

[363] They shared some of their perspectives and their personal stories.

[364] And these were things that we were seeing anyways from them.

[365] We're with them.

[366] We see them having breakdowns and crying and being stressed and all these things.

[367] And so we really just set out to find a way to help them communicate that.

[368] That's lovely.

[369] Yeah, thank you.

[370] And so we wrote this fictitious story about a world where your class rank controls everything about your future and your destiny.

[371] And as we were pulling on the thread of this, we were really like, what would that be like if grades were literally everything?

[372] People would cheat.

[373] People would bribe.

[374] People would pay.

[375] So this is 2018 as we're writing this story.

[376] Ah.

[377] So our big act one cliffhanger that we wrote was about a kid whose parents were paying for his grades without him knowing about it.

[378] Oh, I love this.

[379] This is great.

[380] Yeah.

[381] We spend a whole year writing.

[382] We start rehearsing before it's even done being written.

[383] In 2019, beginning of March, we open in like three weeks and then the college admission scandal breaks.

[384] And it is this net.

[385] national news story.

[386] And we're in rehearsal one day.

[387] Everyone's phone start going off.

[388] And we're just like, holy shit.

[389] We literally are rehearsing a musical right now that is about people paying for their grades.

[390] And so in the moment, we were really just trying to kind of figure out, oh, how can we use this news to sell some tickets to our high school musical that no one's ever heard of?

[391] And we need people to show up to it and big pushes on Facebook and silly ad campaigns that really tied into what was happening about buying your grades and buying your future.

[392] And a lot of the response was like, oh, they're writing a musical about the news that's happening right now.

[393] Not knowing we'd spend a year on it.

[394] Yeah.

[395] You know, we sent out press releases like we always do.

[396] Didn't hear back much.

[397] High school theater's not really a big press circuit.

[398] The show opened, a great first weekend.

[399] And then David, my writing partner's husband, said, you know, I've been listening to NPR a lot.

[400] And there's this reporter who's been doing a lot of coverage on the college admission scandal.

[401] I think you guys should email her.

[402] NPR.

[403] So we said, okay, and we sat down and spent three, four hours writing a three -sentence email.

[404] Of course, yes.

[405] And the hardest part's the subject line.

[406] You just want someone to open it.

[407] Yes, yes.

[408] You're right, I have your daughter.

[409] That's a doubt.

[410] We wrote admission scandal musical question mark.

[411] We were like, that's intriguing, right?

[412] Someone should click that.

[413] Anyways, this reporter did.

[414] And we just said, hey, we wrote this musical.

[415] over the last year.

[416] We think it kind of lines up with the world right now.

[417] And if you were interested in talking about it.

[418] And so she emailed the next morning and said, I'd love to talk to you guys.

[419] So then we went into overdrive and we're like, we've listened to NPR.

[420] She's going to want sound bites.

[421] She's going to want songs.

[422] So we sent some rough audio recordings off to a producer friend that we had to get some mixes going.

[423] And we talked to her that day, had a really great interview.

[424] She wanted to talk to some of the students.

[425] So we set that up.

[426] She asked for songs, which we knew was coming.

[427] Yeah, you had them.

[428] It felt really.

[429] positive.

[430] And then on like that Thursday, she emailed us and said, hey, it's going to run on morning edition tomorrow weekly listenership of 12 million people.

[431] Oh my God.

[432] Morning edition.

[433] I can hear the theme song right now.

[434] That's exciting.

[435] That's right.

[436] So then we were like, wait a minute.

[437] If 12 million people are going to hear this, if they want to learn more, we don't have a website.

[438] We don't have a social media.

[439] We were up all night.

[440] We had to make a website.

[441] We had to make an email address.

[442] People are going to want to learn more about this.

[443] We hope.

[444] We're West Coast over here.

[445] I think the first run of the three -minute clip was at like 5 a .m. or something.

[446] Set my alarm, got up early, listened to it.

[447] Did you love it?

[448] Absolutely.

[449] They did a really great job of centering the students and their voices and the coincidence is cool, but it's really about a musical that is speaking to what's important to these kids right now.

[450] And they already knew.

[451] They were like, this is predictable.

[452] Of course, this is what was going to happen.

[453] This is our lives.

[454] So, sure enough, just as we thought, we start getting some emails from people.

[455] We start getting emails from other schools that are like, this is our kids' stories.

[456] Can we talk to you about performing this play?

[457] Oh my gosh.

[458] This is part two.

[459] Part one is the lead up to the news story.

[460] Part two is everything that happened because of the news story.

[461] We get an email in the inbox that says, I am a producer with a film company, and we've been commissioned by HBO to do a documentary on the college admissions scandal.

[462] And we think that your musical would be a really interesting way into this.

[463] Mind you, no one has seen the musical yet, right?

[464] Right.

[465] Locally, we've had three shows today.

[466] Okay, are you having any like imposter syndrome or fear of like, oh, my God, everyone's getting so excited about this.

[467] They haven't even seen it.

[468] I guess that would make me nervous.

[469] 100%.

[470] Okay, yeah, okay, yeah.

[471] And David and I said to each other, well, at some point, if people think this isn't good, this will all just stop.

[472] Right.

[473] As long as it's decent, we'll kind of keep going, I guess.

[474] So we connect with this producer and she's like, do you have shows we could come see?

[475] And we're like, well, tonight and tomorrow are the last ones.

[476] and she's like, oh, I wish there were something else.

[477] And we went, there is.

[478] We're doing a concert performance at a big theater in downtown Sacramento in a month.

[479] A month?

[480] Does the month sound good to you?

[481] Oh, you guys are spinning some plates.

[482] Yeah, yeah.

[483] At this point, we're like, how long can we keep all this up in the air?

[484] Yeah.

[485] And so we do this concert in June and this film company, Breakthrough Films.

[486] They fly a crew out and they spend a day interviewing students.

[487] and David and I, and then they come film this whole concert, and then we don't hear from them again for like six months, because that's how the industry works, I guess, but you don't really know that.

[488] But they reach out and they say, hey, we got some bad news.

[489] HBO is going with another company.

[490] They're going to go with a West Coast -based company.

[491] We're out of New York to do the college admission scandal thing.

[492] We're like, okay, that makes sense.

[493] This was fun while it lasted.

[494] They call us a few weeks later, and they say, hey, we got good news.

[495] HBO decided that they want to do a documentary about your musical.

[496] What?

[497] What?

[498] Yeah.

[499] So to answer your question of like, is it good?

[500] Other people thought so.

[501] Yes.

[502] The musical's called Ranked.

[503] And yeah, they said their vision is they want to do a documentary of Ranked from high school to Broadway.

[504] And we were like, what?

[505] And they're going to then assist in getting it to Broadway?

[506] They knew that we were starting to see like the potential for this project.

[507] And they were like, well, can we film along the way?

[508] And so we were like, okay, sure.

[509] So we workshopped it at UC Davis down the street, and then we started putting together what would an industry reading in New York look like where we pitch this to producers and we fly out and do auditions and HBO films the whole thing.

[510] Wow.

[511] It's a trip.

[512] And remember, nine months ago, I was, I hate the word just, but I was just a high school theater teacher like trying to show the spring musical, right?

[513] Right.

[514] We cast this reading.

[515] We go home.

[516] We've got five days to get our ducks in a row before we fly.

[517] lie back out to do a week -long rehearsal and then this performance with a bunch of New York producers in the room and HBO is going to film the whole thing.

[518] It's at the Daryl Roth Theater.

[519] We're fired up.

[520] And the day before we're supposed to leave is March 12th, 2020.

[521] No. I forgot about the timeline.

[522] Oh, so.

[523] Broadway shuts down.

[524] The whole thing just comes to a screeching house.

[525] It's a heartbreaking business, isn't it?

[526] Sure is.

[527] So they had a crew with us.

[528] They had a crew with two other high schools, one in West Virginia and one in Cooper Tino that were working on ranked at the time.

[529] And they were like in the high schools with them filming when the schools were shut down.

[530] So other schools did do your production.

[531] Yeah.

[532] That's so cool.

[533] That is so cool.

[534] It's been really special.

[535] So there's a happy ending.

[536] HBO greenlet them to push through and finish the product.

[537] So they started working with a high school in New York that was doing ranked.

[538] We were able to fly out and see their, like, Zoom performance of it.

[539] And the documentary came out last November.

[540] It's on HBO.

[541] What's it called?

[542] Is it called Rank?

[543] It's called My So -Called High School Rank.

[544] My So -Cold High School Rank.

[545] Oh, my goodness.

[546] And it follows these high schools in very different communities that are all working on our show.

[547] But it's really the story of academic pressure and mental health for young people.

[548] And the show is kind of the catalyst for it.

[549] And it's all because a producer listened to NPR that morning.

[550] Wow.

[551] Yes.

[552] Also, when I said it was ambitious just to write this thing, who knew what was coming.

[553] Exactly.

[554] Right.

[555] It's been a roller coaster.

[556] Yeah, what a great story.

[557] That's so cool.

[558] I can't wait to watch it.

[559] Thank you.

[560] The coolest thing, the most validating thing, the documentary has been amazing.

[561] But we, in the last like four years, we're coming up on 90 high schools have performed this show.

[562] Oh, my gosh.

[563] How rewarding.

[564] The being on the news was the least significant part, which is impressive.

[565] Yes.

[566] It wouldn't have happened without the news, though.

[567] It's powerful.

[568] NPR, baby.

[569] Yeah.

[570] Oh, trusted brand.

[571] You want these suicidal cities?

[572] Yes.

[573] Casper, Wyoming is number one.

[574] Okay, so not.

[575] Rapid City, South Dakota, Juneau, Alaska, Billings, Montana, Colorado Springs, Colorado.

[576] None of them made it.

[577] Okay.

[578] Well, then whoever told me that fucking lied through their teeth.

[579] And then I embarrassed myself on air.

[580] And maybe that'll be in the news.

[581] Oh, my God.

[582] Dack Shepherd wrongly accuses Sacramento.

[583] There's a musical in your future, I think.

[584] Well, Kyle, great meeting.

[585] Thank you for sharing that.

[586] Thank you both for having me, and my wife and I love Fridays because we get to listen to Armchair Anonymous.

[587] It's a trip to be a part of it.

[588] So thank you both.

[589] Our pleasure.

[590] So nice meeting you, Kyle.

[591] All right.

[592] Take care.

[593] All right, bye.

[594] We've all been there.

[595] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers and strange rashes.

[596] our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[597] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[598] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[599] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[600] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[601] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[602] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[603] What's up, guys?

[604] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[605] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[606] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[607] And I don't mean just friends.

[608] I mean the likes of Amy Poeh, Kale Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[609] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[610] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[611] We wrote a play in my high school.

[612] The kids, we all wrote a play my senior year.

[613] You did.

[614] What was the theme and was it any good?

[615] It was also about high school and there were basically different sketches.

[616] Yes, it was good and it sold out all three days, which never happened.

[617] It was called Standing Naked in Public.

[618] Whoa, that's a provocative title for high school.

[619] I know.

[620] Did you all stand naked in public at the end of it?

[621] Like hair?

[622] No. Rich tradition of that.

[623] That's true.

[624] In the theater.

[625] Standing naked in the street.

[626] Is that what I was called?

[627] No. Okay.

[628] Hello.

[629] We have the same Airmaxes.

[630] Are those in green?

[631] No, they're silver.

[632] Oh, I have green that looks silver.

[633] I'm now realizing.

[634] Maybe I have silver.

[635] No, you don't.

[636] Were you on cheer at U of M?

[637] I wasn't.

[638] I was actually in the marching band.

[639] Wow.

[640] Even better.

[641] One of my friends signed this for me. I keep it displayed in my house.

[642] Oh, I love it.

[643] It's the big bullhorn that you would scream, give me an M. What would they scream at U of M games?

[644] You call that a megaphone.

[645] You call it a megaphone.

[646] I do because that's what it's called.

[647] You know, they'd say go, blue.

[648] Are you still in Michigan?

[649] I'm actually not.

[650] I'm in Little Rock, Arkansas.

[651] Oh, home of the Clintons.

[652] That's right.

[653] And gang banging in Little Rock, one of my favorite docs.

[654] Yes.

[655] Okay, so you were on the news.

[656] Were you on the news in Arkansas or in Michigan?

[657] In Michigan, actually takes place in Ann Arbor.

[658] This is back in 2005.

[659] I was going to be a freshman in high school.

[660] I made the varsity cheerleading squad, so I was just super happy about that.

[661] Congrats.

[662] Were you a flyer or were you a...

[663] I was a flyer because I actually started as a baton twirler, so I had all the flexibility.

[664] Nice.

[665] Fellow flyer.

[666] Yeah.

[667] We went over to U of M for a cheer camp for a couple of days.

[668] One of the evenings, because we stayed at the dorms there, and we thought it was so cool.

[669] Cool.

[670] We were walking back to the dorm for dinner at the dining hall.

[671] And we actually witnessed a hit and run.

[672] So we saw this truck just hit this car, cost her car to hit into somebody else.

[673] And this is like five o 'clock Ann Arbor traffic.

[674] So it's super busy.

[675] This gentleman in the truck just decides to fly off.

[676] Sure.

[677] Let's get out of here.

[678] My coach gets in the street and is like, hey, we need to remember the license plate number.

[679] So as cheerleaders do, we made up a cheer.

[680] And we started to cheer at the license plate.

[681] I was telling my husband this story.

[682] He was like, this is so cringy.

[683] We were chanting that.

[684] We ended up contacting the police.

[685] And because we had made up the cheer, they were able to catch the guy at his house.

[686] Okay.

[687] Was he tipsy?

[688] No, I don't think so.

[689] He just said that he thought nobody was that hurt.

[690] So he just kept it moving in the traffic.

[691] Oh.

[692] Which is not true.

[693] I think the ambulance ended up responding.

[694] It was a pretty serious accident.

[695] But obviously it's a pretty feel -good story, so people locally started to pick it up.

[696] And when I was preparing for this, I found my mom had kept this.

[697] And it's the Ann Arbor News, and it says, give me a you, as in you're busted.

[698] Oh, perfect.

[699] Oh, that's great.

[700] So after we were on local news, the Today Show ended up picking it up, and they came to our high school.

[701] Oh, my God.

[702] No, the Today Show?

[703] The camera crews came.

[704] We were outside the school.

[705] school.

[706] And I forgot to mention before camp, there was a little bit of drama.

[707] We had a new coach.

[708] And so some of the girls protested and they were like, we're not going.

[709] We don't like the new coach.

[710] Well, circle that the today shows here.

[711] And now only six people can be front and center.

[712] So the people who went to camp got to be front and center.

[713] And then they had people on the wings kind of that didn't go to camp.

[714] Yeah, that's what they get.

[715] That's not very team friendly.

[716] Well, I'm scared.

[717] Anytime I hear you don't like the coach.

[718] Anytime I hear you don't like the coach, unfortunately, there's been so many.

[719] news story.

[720] Why didn't they like the coach?

[721] I think she was just a new.

[722] Oh, good.

[723] It was a woman.

[724] Yeah.

[725] Okay.

[726] I'm thinking Nassar and stuff.

[727] He now.

[728] Oh, no, he wasn't.

[729] He was the medic.

[730] Yeah, worse.

[731] Okay, so it was a female coach and people just didn't, then fuck them, I guess.

[732] Then I'm, no, I'm excited again.

[733] They got theirs.

[734] They were just catty high schoolers.

[735] Yeah.

[736] Were you front and center?

[737] Were you one of the sex?

[738] I was, yes.

[739] And who did the interview?

[740] Kathy Leon Hoda.

[741] Oh, my God.

[742] That's huge.

[743] That's enormous.

[744] But they weren't actually.

[745] at our school.

[746] They were on the screen.

[747] Video link.

[748] Pre -Zoom Zoom.

[749] They can't send Katie and Hoda to every one of these stories they cover.

[750] Happy Lee and Hoda should be jumping at the chain.

[751] They have wine to drink if you remember.

[752] Wow, this is great.

[753] I love a cheerleading story.

[754] Yeah, the cheerleaders won.

[755] You don't fuck with cheerleaders.

[756] That's what my headline would have said.

[757] Exactly.

[758] When I saw the prompt, I was like, I got the Michigan and the cheerleading connection.

[759] Yes.

[760] Big double I was like, it's not that big of a story, but, you know, it's kind of funny.

[761] I love it.

[762] Will you hold up that paper again?

[763] Oh, yes.

[764] So we can see it.

[765] And for the, oh, my God.

[766] So let's just be clear, though.

[767] It says, give me a U as an, and then it says U -S -R, then B -S -U -S -S -T -T -E -D.

[768] Like, it was a real, the license plate number.

[769] And like how you would do cheer.

[770] What if that actually was his license plate and everyone couldn't remember that?

[771] Oh, my God.

[772] They needed a cheer.

[773] That would play into the stereotypical doors of cheerleaders.

[774] Exactly.

[775] I might get busted as a vanity plate on mine.

[776] Make sure there's no cheerleading camps going on around you.

[777] Well, when I do my hit and runs, I first make sure that there's no cheerleaders around.

[778] I know they're good people.

[779] There were no cheerleaders in hit and run the movie for that reason.

[780] That's right.

[781] I don't want to see anything I was doing in that movie.

[782] Everything was naughty.

[783] Well, Shelby, that was lovely.

[784] Thank you so much.

[785] Thank you.

[786] It was so nice to meet you guys.

[787] And I just have to say that I love y 'all's show.

[788] And about a year ago, I lost my mom.

[789] And I used to talk to her on the way to work and on the way home every day.

[790] So I replaced those conversations listening to y 'all.

[791] So I literally listened to every episode.

[792] But thank you guys so much.

[793] Thank you.

[794] Oh, my pleasure.

[795] Take care, Shelby.

[796] Really nice meeting you.

[797] You too.

[798] Thank you.

[799] Hello.

[800] Hi.

[801] Is it Maylene?

[802] My Lynn.

[803] We blew it.

[804] I meant to send Emma how to pronounce my name for you guys.

[805] And I completely forgot.

[806] No, we like hearing it.

[807] My Lynn.

[808] The person.

[809] Perfect.

[810] Where are you, My Lynn?

[811] I am in Kensington, Maryland, just outside of D .C. Oh.

[812] Where is it in relationship to Gathesburg?

[813] So we are, I think, a little southeast from Gathersburg.

[814] Okay, okay.

[815] How do you know Gatorsburg?

[816] I met a girl.

[817] He always met a girl.

[818] And spring break, Hilton had 10th grade.

[819] South Carolina.

[820] This great batch of girls.

[821] Nothing never naughty happened.

[822] But we got along with them great.

[823] there were like four or five of them on their trip and I was just my friend j rob and i and then we went and visited them like months after spring break and they had planned the most beautiful evening a limousine pulled up they took us into dc and we drove around dc and a limousine looked at all the sites grade yeah how fun yes it was so fun and wonderful and i have the warmest spot in my heart for gathsburg maryland after that and then also great falls on the potomac which is right by there it's amazing and you watch the kayakers come up the waterfall down the waterfall yeah who can i tell you something?

[824] Tell me. It looks like you've been like, Honey, I Shrunk to the Kid.

[825] You're shrunken.

[826] Yes, she's behind a yarn ball.

[827] Yeah.

[828] Just a regular size yarn ball behind you, but it's a huge because you've been shrunk.

[829] Great idea.

[830] Yes, so for the listener, because that's hard to conceptualize, my lens background is blurry.

[831] She's in focus, but the background's all a blur.

[832] And it does look like there's an enormous yarn ball behind you.

[833] I'm in a closet.

[834] I've covered it up in a bunch of blankets.

[835] Since I am a mom to two small children, my closet is like a very messy, disgusting storage unit looking thing.

[836] Of course.

[837] So is mine without having children.

[838] How old are yours?

[839] Three and six.

[840] You're right in the thick of it, aren't you?

[841] We sure are, but it's all fun.

[842] Yes.

[843] Can't complain.

[844] Okay, so you made the news.

[845] I did.

[846] My husband and I made the news.

[847] It was a combined showing on the news.

[848] This is great.

[849] So, picture yourself planning a wedding and all the things that you consider.

[850] Location, time of year, indoor, outdoor, what kind of weather is it going to be?

[851] What people don't usually consider is the government fiscal calendar.

[852] So my husband and I had plans to get married at the Thomas Jefferson Memorial in D .C. That's where we had our first date.

[853] We got the permit and everything, arranged all of the vendors.

[854] And then October 2013 hits.

[855] And as you may recall, that is when the government shut down.

[856] Oh.

[857] Over at the debt ceiling debate?

[858] Yes.

[859] Even though my husband and I both work in politics or I used to, I don't anymore, but my husband currently does.

[860] And this is not something we ever considered would happen.

[861] So about five days before my wedding, I get an email from the park service saying the national parks is part of the government.

[862] If the government shuts down, your permit will no longer be valid.

[863] So I send this to my friend who's playing wedding planner for us and my husband and said, FYI, this is happening.

[864] In the meantime, I just started a new job.

[865] So I was like, I cannot deal with this.

[866] It was a super high stress job.

[867] I was like, we'll figure it out.

[868] But my husband wanting to give me the perfect wedding calls the park service and is like, so what's it going to look like over there?

[869] And they were like, you know, there's going to be tons of barriers.

[870] And he goes, what happens if we and all our guests just jump those barriers and decide to have our wedding?

[871] What will you do?

[872] Are there actually going to be people?

[873] patrolling because the government is shutting down and people aren't getting paid.

[874] Or they can't have it both ways.

[875] So she was like, well, some of the park rangers are considered essential personnel.

[876] So if they find you, you will go to jail.

[877] And he was like, okay, she's not going to want me to go to jail.

[878] What do we do with this?

[879] In the meantime, the Washington Post had posted on Twitter.

[880] If you're affected by shutdown, reach out to us.

[881] We'd love to hear your story.

[882] Yeah.

[883] So my husband wrote to them and explained our wedding's about to get shut down.

[884] in five days and he gets a call from one of their writers and is like, hey, we're doing a story on people affected by the shutdown.

[885] We'd love to hear from you and your bride to be.

[886] We were under the impression that this was going to be a story with like multiple people telling their stories.

[887] It actually ended up being a full out profile on the two of us.

[888] Wow.

[889] Oh my God.

[890] In the Washington Post?

[891] In the Washington Post.

[892] So the day that it hit, there was a picture of Obama in the morning and And our engagement photo bumped Obama off of the front page of the Washington Post .com.

[893] Wow.

[894] It was pretty epic.

[895] And then after that happened, a bunch of reporters found my work phone number and my husband's phone number and started blowing it all up.

[896] I didn't answer any calls.

[897] I'm a super shy person, so I was like, I don't want to talk to people.

[898] Right.

[899] But my husband ended up being on a bunch of local affiliates.

[900] They interviewed him outside the Capitol, basically, professional.

[901] blessing his love for me and wanting to put together the perfect wedding for me the next day after the piece.

[902] We were on this CNN morning show and the Today Show that morning.

[903] And then we had an interview the next day with one of the local affiliates in front of the Thomas Jefferson Memorial.

[904] And during the interview, his phone kept ringing.

[905] And finally, after we were done with the interview, he picks up and is like, who is this that keeps calling you?

[906] It was like a New York number.

[907] And the person that called said, hi, I'm one of the producers of the Colbert report.

[908] Oh, no. Come on now.

[909] And she says, Colbert is doing this bit where he is taking over all government services.

[910] He's an ordained minister.

[911] Would you be interested in getting married on our show?

[912] Oh, come on now.

[913] I have been a fan since day one.

[914] Like, I remember being an intern in D .C. while I was in college when he first aired.

[915] So I start, like, my husband goes, hold on a sec. Let me ask my, my fiancé, make sure it's okay with her.

[916] She's just catching her breath.

[917] Jumping up and down.

[918] Why are you even asking me?

[919] Of course.

[920] Like, this is amazing.

[921] So she goes, okay, we have a couple other people we're going to talk to.

[922] We'll be in touch.

[923] And then later emails us and it says, Stephen wants to talk to you guys.

[924] Oh, my Lord.

[925] So we get a call from Stephen Colbert.

[926] And he talks to us for like 20 minutes.

[927] He won't even talk to us.

[928] He was like, I just want you to know we want to do something nice for you guys.

[929] You're not going to be the butt of a joke.

[930] We're not making fun of you.

[931] We want this to be something special for you.

[932] Of course we say yes.

[933] Yeah.

[934] They chartered a bus for us and family members to go from D .C. Up to New York.

[935] Basically, our family and some of our wedding party got to go with us onto the Colbert Report.

[936] So they put on like a mini wedding for us.

[937] Oh, my Lord.

[938] Had a guy in a smoky the bear costume dressed up and be my husband's best man. And it was like a full out wedding.

[939] Mandy Patanking came on and did a Jewish blessing.

[940] Oh, my God.

[941] And then Audra McDonald sang White Wedding for our first dance.

[942] What?

[943] It was incredible.

[944] And of course, my husband didn't know who she was.

[945] And so I'm like fan girling backstage.

[946] I was a drama nerd in high school.

[947] So I'm crying, telling Audra McDonald how amazing she is.

[948] My husband comes out and goes, you know, you're amazing singer.

[949] You should consider doing this professionally.

[950] Oh, Jesus.

[951] And I looked at him and I'm like, you're so embarrassing.

[952] Yeah, but that's our story.

[953] Wow.

[954] Was this all at their studio that this all happened?

[955] It was all at their studio.

[956] So we had it as a surprise for our family that was driving in, and we just said, meet us at this address.

[957] And so they had no idea.

[958] On top of that, in D .C., so we had friends and family coming in, we were able to get this place called the Hill Center that's in Eastern Market in D .C. They offered their garden to us so that we could have like an actual ceremony for our friends and family when they arrived.

[959] that Saturday.

[960] So the original date of our wedding, they had a cancellation.

[961] So for an unfortunate time for the D .C. area, we really locked out.

[962] Yeah, talk about making lemonade out of lemons.

[963] This is like the best thing that could ever happen to you, losing your location.

[964] We say that we won the shutdown.

[965] Yeah.

[966] Yes, big time.

[967] That's a second story we've heard where it's like one news thing leads to 12 more news things.

[968] This gets picked up.

[969] Ripple effect.

[970] You must be thinking every time like, well, that's the end of that.

[971] How many times can people hear this story and then calls keep coming.

[972] Exactly.

[973] Thanks for sharing.

[974] Thank you.

[975] And Monica, FYI, if we ever meet in person, I will be probably the one person that makes you feel tall.

[976] Oh.

[977] How many are you?

[978] Well, you really are shrunk the kids, even without this optical illusion.

[979] I'm four foot ten.

[980] Wow.

[981] And if you wear heels, you'll feel like a giant.

[982] Oh, I can't wait.

[983] Now, let me ask you this.

[984] If I was around you, so first you'd be making Monica feel really tall, would you hate if I wanted to pick you up or you would like it?

[985] If it were you, I would be a thousand percent fine with it.

[986] There were probably some like other person, probably not.

[987] That's fair.

[988] That's very fair.

[989] So we're not encouraging anyone else to try to pick you up.

[990] But I would love if we meet in person, I could give that a shot.

[991] Do a show in D .C. I would love it.

[992] Okay, perfect.

[993] Well, My Lynn, nice meeting you and what an incredible story.

[994] And please tell your husband we say hi.

[995] Congratulations on such a great shutdown.

[996] Great to meet you guys.

[997] Thank you so much.

[998] Okay, take care.

[999] Well, that was heartwarming.

[1000] That was, I can't believe, well, I mean, I guess I can, but at the same time, what a journey being on the news can take you on.

[1001] I know.

[1002] Like for many of these stories, it was just the first stop was the news coverage and then all hell broke loose.

[1003] We got to get on the news.

[1004] That's my conclusion.

[1005] We got to, if we have any chance at coming at Rogan.

[1006] I actually was on the news for cheerleading.

[1007] You did.

[1008] But you didn't have the show to.

[1009] promote then yeah and it stopped there i didn't get so many calls it didn't lead to you didn't end up on colbert or cober and um hody and christin kiley and hoady no no okay i love you love you do want to sing a tune or something we're a theme song oh okay great we don't have a thing song for this new show so here I go, go, go.

[1010] We're going to ask some random questions and with the help of armcherry's book and some suggestions on the flyer rhymed dish, on the flyer rindish, enjoy.

[1011] Follow armchair expert on the Wondry app, Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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