81 - Weapon Bush

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] You've never laughed so quickly yet.

[17] The smile you just gave me was like.

[18] like Karen I know you're losing your mind please be here with me now guys I just hello welcome to my favorite murder hi that's Karen that's Georgia hi my dogs just got out as I was driving over here I got a call from my god -bless neighbor Carolyn who is the one who people go to because she knows everybody in the neighborhood and she baked cookies she I think so um she's the best neighbor and my dogs already got out once this week and so when I saw her name come up on my phone I was like no God and it and it was her Frank and George bad dogs yeah it's George so she's there's the front gate it locks but kind of not really and I think she's pushing on it and so I had just left the house to come over here to record tell everyone your address and they and where the gate is and everyone can just go check it every once in a while as a favor yeah I think it would be nice.

[19] It's the worst feeling.

[20] When A, your dogs are out, B, they don't have name tags on because somehow the name tags have fallen off over the years and I've never replaced them.

[21] And C, they've already gotten out once this week and alerted the entire neighborhood was in action and they were out all day because I was at work.

[22] He walked in to the apartment with like a perfectly drop of tear on your glasses.

[23] Like it had been.

[24] raining on the inside of her glasses there was like this perfect tear drop it's always raining inside of me it was just like this huge you should have seen like you know how I can be when I got out of a ballet dancer the best sometimes she just is ballet for no raising so graceful so lady like I got out of my car and there was a man sitting on his front porch and I walked up and he didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him and then finally I went do you have the the dogs and he was like yeah and he goes is everything okay and I go I guess not and then I just started bawling in front of a man I don't know crying in front of strangers is the most like vulnerable you can be and you hope they react well he like oh honey it's okay he was shocked I would say he was shocked I meant later was he like how dad was he like what level of he was dad but I think he had a little bit of the get your shit together these dogs were wandering in the street which i that's the burn of it is that i 100 % agree with him the fact that it's happened several times is like unforgivable and the idea that i'm just fucking driving around my dogs are like just in the street just milo and odysing the fuck out of it i'm so very upsetting so anyway that's how i that's the energy i'm bringing tonight i think that's why i smiled at you like that.

[25] It was like, how are you going to do this?

[26] Such kindness.

[27] Because it's been 10 minutes since you got here.

[28] It's not like we had to sit down and we all talked and have tea.

[29] No one had tea or biscuits.

[30] No. I came in hot.

[31] With tears, tear, hot tears.

[32] Hot tears on the inside of the glasses.

[33] Not my style.

[34] And now Georgia's trying to hold my energy with me. I've hugged you twice.

[35] Yes.

[36] And that's like the most I've ever hugged anyone in my life.

[37] It was really nice.

[38] I really appreciate it.

[39] Genuinely.

[40] You're welcome.

[41] No, one we have burgers being delivered we have to break for burgers at some point my god and then i look at my phone Carolyn i actually want to leave my phone up just in case i'm leaving mine up right now only because of burgers otherwise it stresses me out so much okay i'm going to screen burgers you're going to hear a pause you're not going to hear a pause you're going to hear nothing because this is a fucking professional podcast yeah that's right steven's gonna cut it out you know how professional joey style how well now we're on the professional podcast now network.

[42] Midroll.

[43] Hey, good segue.

[44] Nice one.

[45] Did you type that up this morning?

[46] Type the shit out of that one.

[47] Guys, it's so exciting.

[48] We are now on midroll, the Midroll Podcast Network.

[49] Very big deal.

[50] Very fancy deal.

[51] We are very honored and excited to be moving on up to the east side.

[52] Yeah.

[53] And on midroll.

[54] But not without our fucking, you know, when you go, and then you point to the sky, like, what's up, God?

[55] Yeah.

[56] You piece out to God?

[57] not well you piece up to god you bless it all the way up and you say thank you feral audio thank you feral audio how long were you guys on there god i've been with them since they started i think yeah feral audio gave us our huge kickoff thank you so much to jason smith thank you so much to dustin you guys were great and uh and we will miss you dearly and we'll support the fuck out of you always there's so many podcast on there just change it from fuck to shit fucking shit out of you no I said the fucking shit oh it sounded like what did I say it sounded like you stopped yourself from saying we'll support the fuck out of you and said we'll support the shit out of you I think I said we'll support the fuck and shit out of you which is that's a lot of support you guys listen yeah we're going to be on every podcast that they do all the time anyway because that's kind of how podcasts work they're only allowed to have us as guests on all of their podcasts yeah that's right um but yeah man so that's that news no one cares about stuff like that we haven't said in a while but like we didn't know this would be a thing and we still don't know this is the thing this podcast it's a large adjustment we're doing our best we're doing our best not to think about it right because we just love it uh and we're just trying to do it we're just trying uh we're doing our best looking listen listen looking I'm just listen mashing words up this time um and you got anything uh Elvis is healthy good let's get it let's get we've missed a couple weeks of this so let's get one at the top Elvis want cookie whoa that's how healthy he was that was like Tom Jones level vocal pronoun pronounce hi friend and now to ask the other question because I can't get up very Stephen will you give Elvis a cookie please want cookie yeah I'm on it cookie boy he's like hell yeah so basically he had the flu he had the flu he had the play the doddy the kitten brought yeah she's adorable she's here mimi's here everyone's here oh good life's back to normal nice um i do have something okay okay so god it feels like it's been so long yeah like the last time that we podcast remember i was like he had a brain hemorrhage and no bleeding or something yes we were talking about like what's a is a brain hamage this or is it we're talking about aneurysms we're going into things that we've heard of but don't know about we were we were speculating yeah that's all we do well it turns out that our friend Kara Klink.

[58] Yes.

[59] Hilarious comedian.

[60] Her brother is a brain surgeon.

[61] What?

[62] Of some sort.

[63] Why she never told me about that?

[64] Want me to find out?

[65] Let's see.

[66] She texts me and said, my brother is a neurologist.

[67] And he said, I'm listening to my favorite murder and they're asking doctors who are listening to weigh in on brain hemorrhage.

[68] Get me Georgia's direct number.

[69] And I've met him.

[70] And he's like, sweet normal kid like at a comedy party you're like all these fucking comedians and he's just like hey i'm a brain doctor oh my god hello so cute pull him aside i know somebody okay so he i was like yes i need it to know everything so she he's his name is colin um hi georgia this is colin carra's brother here's my little blurb on cerebral hemorrhage okay as you do the good news is in neither of you was wrong uh generally speaking how hemorrhage just means bleeding, usually profusely, but not always.

[71] For example, even a small amount of blood in the brain can be disastrous, and it's still called a hemorrhage.

[72] So cerebral hemorrhage is just a general term for bleeding in the brain.

[73] Lots of different things can cause cerebral hemorrhage, including trauma or aneurysms, as Karen pointed out.

[74] Oh, yay.

[75] He's being like so difficult.

[76] Karen was right.

[77] So are you.

[78] He's like a grammar school teacher, encouraging us to learn to not.

[79] To just keep talking out of school.

[80] Just to not give up.

[81] Cerebral rummage can also lead to stroke as you alluded.

[82] He's like Karen was right, Georgia, and here were you too.

[83] Also, clarification about aneurysm since it came up.

[84] Aneurysm is just a bulging of an artery due to weakness in the artery wall.

[85] Plenty of people walk around with aneurysms every day.

[86] Can you tell that I'm not practiced in speaking smart words?

[87] Aneurism is a hard word to say.

[88] All of my mouth hurts right now.

[89] And also the concept that you just introduced is very difficult.

[90] I don't even want to talk about that.

[91] We're all walking.

[92] That's like the shingles virus is already inside you.

[93] I don't want to know.

[94] The shingles virus is calling from inside that body.

[95] The shingles virus is sneaking up on you with a big knife.

[96] But you turn around or you close the medicine cabinet mirror and it's gone.

[97] But then it's on your back.

[98] And it's behind.

[99] I don't know.

[100] They only become hemorrhages when they rupture and bleed into the surrounding tissue.

[101] Okay.

[102] So I said, is such great info.

[103] Thank you.

[104] I'll read it for Corrections Corner next week.

[105] My pleasure.

[106] Blah, blah, blah.

[107] Also, send my apologies to Stephen.

[108] I ran outside to him.

[109] I ran into him outside Kara's apartment when I was in L .A. last month and accosted him like, excuse me, are you Stephen Ray Morris?

[110] Big fan.

[111] And I wrote, ha, he loves that shit.

[112] Oh, I loved it.

[113] Yeah.

[114] Made my day.

[115] Big fan of Stevens editing.

[116] Nice.

[117] So, yeah, that was because I did the pizza bomber murder and remember the woman who they thought killed her ex -boyfriend.

[118] I'd sent him.

[119] He had an aneurysm.

[120] But I was like, you can't get aneurysm unless someone hits you.

[121] I don't know.

[122] I made some shit up.

[123] Right, right, right.

[124] Well, we have these, like, ideas.

[125] It's all from forensic files.

[126] It's all just sitting in our brain from like a combination of forensic files in law and order where you're like, oh, I know this.

[127] Let me take this.

[128] Let me take this because I've taken every single episode of forensic files and put them into one into my brain.

[129] So I was like, this one girl who was dying of an aneurysm, who then put a bomb of pizza around the neck of a parrot who then told, who then testified in court.

[130] So insane.

[131] Yeah.

[132] That was a really good case.

[133] That was a good case.

[134] What, do you have anything?

[135] Just this one aneurysm.

[136] You know what I will?

[137] I want to say this.

[138] And this is like, I don't want to be a big deal, but I, there was an article written on bitch media.

[139] Okay.

[140] And it was an article about this podcast being racist.

[141] And there's been people who contacted us on social media.

[142] I think feeling nervous about that or defensive.

[143] And here's what I'd like to say.

[144] About other people calling us.

[145] About that article and about that idea.

[146] Okay.

[147] And the, and that thing that's kicked up or feeling like, you know, I don't like this or I want you guys to know that we like you or whatever.

[148] And here's what I'd like to say.

[149] Uh, we now live in a place.

[150] political climate where neo -Nazis are feel totally fine wielding their ignorance and violence in the fucking street.

[151] You used to be ashamed of that, right?

[152] We live in a political climate where mosques are being blown up, where black people are getting shot on the street, where people are being deported away from their families.

[153] This is serious people of color are scared and they're upset and they have a right to be.

[154] And if if anyone who is a person of color hears something they don't like, we want to hear about it, and we are listening.

[155] We won't argue with you on social media.

[156] We won't engage it, but we will do the thing that I think is the most important thing for white people to do right now, which is to take their ego out of it and to take their reactivity out of it.

[157] And it's hard to be told you're racist.

[158] It's hard to be told that when you think you're so woke or you think you're being an ally for someone to stand up and go, it doesn't work, we don't like this.

[159] So I just want to say, we are listening to you, and we hear you, and we are your allies.

[160] Just so they know.

[161] Because I don't want this thing to start up of like anyone needs to fight or that I want to support anyone who's trying to use their voice to fight for equality.

[162] It's important, especially now.

[163] I agree.

[164] Or someone saying like, but they've said these things and they've covered these cases so they're not.

[165] Like those, you know, it's not like you do A, B, and C, and then you're not racist anymore.

[166] Or you're not doing or saying racist things or not even racist.

[167] It's not even racist.

[168] It's things that are incorrect, like, historically.

[169] Like, you're not supposed to say, you know, we're learning every, I'm constantly trying to learn what I'm doing that I, even though I think I'm this fucking woke person to, I don't know what I'm doing.

[170] Right.

[171] And we do things that we don't realize because this podcast is popular we do not want to propagate the negative media stereotype of people of color we do not want to do that if we do it we want to stop doing it any minority yes any we I know how fucking hugely privileged I am yeah and actually this thing happened recently to me that kind of hit me over the head even more so because I've always been like well I'm Jewish so I kind of understand like some kind of minority bullshit thing right but it's like recently I went to this doctor He's Jewish with like a very Jewish last name and he looked at my chart and he was like, you know, finding out my history and I was like, well, I'm Jewish, blah, blah, blah.

[172] And he was like, he saw my last name and he was like, well, you're really lucky that you don't have a Jewish sounding last name because you didn't get, you know, the anti -Semitism that people who have Jewish last names get.

[173] And I was like, oh, God, this whole time I've been like, well, I'm Jewish and it's the name Hard Stark doesn't look Jewish.

[174] Right.

[175] And so I missed this whole this whole level of anti -Semitism.

[176] Yeah.

[177] And just because of that, which is like, oh, you just don't know until you are told or you see it what you're not experiencing.

[178] And it's hard to, it's hard to understand what you're blind to.

[179] It's hard to know what you don't know.

[180] And so the key is listening.

[181] The key is paying attention.

[182] And then you hear this thing, too, of like, it's not there.

[183] It's not other people's jobs to teach us.

[184] to teach you and I don't like don't we can't be like well tell us what we're doing wrong that's not their job and I know it's really frustrating for a lot of people of color to have to or to you know the LGBTQ community to have to teach us that's it's our job to learn right for them to tell us so we just want those people who might if you're still listening and you've ever felt othered or in any kind of a reactive position like that because of anything we've said on this podcast that is the absolute last thing we want to be happening.

[185] The best thing about this podcast is the community that has grown up around true crime and around it.

[186] It is the most lovely thing to see in the world and we want people to be a part of that.

[187] We don't want anyone to feel like they're not welcome or they're not adored that they're not being listened to.

[188] And I think a lot of people who have been listening from the beginning know that because we'll always read emails and letters from people who are like, here's what you did.

[189] Like even using the term sex workers, If you listen from the beginning, we didn't say that.

[190] We said prostitutes.

[191] Right.

[192] Because we didn't know.

[193] We didn't know.

[194] As soon as we find out, we correct ourselves and admit that, not admit, we say we did something wrong.

[195] Here's an email from someone who is teaching us, I did it, is telling us the correct, the correct way to do it because they understand that we want to learn.

[196] Right.

[197] You know.

[198] And it's, yeah, it's just a process and it's a flog process.

[199] Yeah.

[200] But we, I think it's important at this moment and time to, you know, that we identify ourselves as allies, flawed allies, that are doing their best.

[201] Yep.

[202] Because that's the key, I think.

[203] So, yeah, I think we've been avoiding it for a long time because it feels like the more you even slightly interact, it's you're adding fuel to a fire that you just don't want to be happening.

[204] Knowledge, yeah.

[205] But the truth of it is, like, everybody feeling really scared in the last couple days because of this fucking nuclear war thing, well the thing that made me realize is people of color feel like this every single day every single fucking day i'm so glad you brought this up karen i mean it's it's just we live in a really fucking scary time but there's it's it's i don't know let's all let's all stick together i guess the people who support each other we we don't have to feel like there's such a huge force of people who are on a certain side and we can't identify with each other.

[206] And you and I have this really fucking amazing opportunity out of nowhere.

[207] Like we said, we didn't know this was going to be a thing.

[208] Well, fuck yeah.

[209] Thank you for bringing that up.

[210] Of course.

[211] I'm really glad you did.

[212] You did it very eloquently.

[213] I've been thinking a lot about it a lot.

[214] Don't.

[215] Don't think a lot.

[216] Is there anything else?

[217] Um, God, I feel like it's been, oh, uh, like it's been a while on a tour dates.

[218] Oh, really?

[219] I really quickly wanted to go over.

[220] just the dates that have been added and the ones for people to go look at.

[221] All right.

[222] I'm going to spew some dates at you guys really quickly, though.

[223] If you just want to go to my favorite murder .com slash live, there's links to, there's a list of shows and links to the actual tickets.

[224] So you're not going to get scalped or anything like that.

[225] But so a couple of that have been added and to check out really soon, September 6th, which is in less than a freaking month, we're going to be in Auckland, New Zealand.

[226] at the Bruce Mason Center.

[227] So crazy.

[228] So please go get those tickets.

[229] Yeah, Auckland.

[230] Hey, what's up?

[231] Meet us at Bruce Mason.

[232] Please.

[233] You know you go down to Bruce Mason to go watch all your violin playing and stuff?

[234] Is that what they do there?

[235] I don't know.

[236] I don't know.

[237] Bring me Auckland, New Zealand snacks, please.

[238] Because all I want to do in Australia and New Zealand is eat like hand pies and stuff.

[239] And Tim Tams?

[240] And Tim Tams.

[241] I'm so excited about the food.

[242] Yeah, it's going to be good.

[243] We added a second, a fucking third show, Melbourne, Australia.

[244] third badass motherfucker September 10th which is again very soon we've added a third show at the comedy theater because you guys are awesome and we've added oh I'm sorry who's playing the Sydney Opera House Karen on September 12th do you know who's going to be playing?

[245] I believe it's you and I believe you are this is insane right this is my dad actually tried to figure out a way to go with us he is so excited that we're playing the Sydney Opera House I don't know why it means so much to him, but it really means a lot.

[246] I think it's because he's gone to Sydney.

[247] Because he used to be a purser on Princess Cruises.

[248] What's a purser?

[249] The guy that carries your bags.

[250] Oh, that makes sense.

[251] Like, that's how my parents meant.

[252] And so they...

[253] You don't know that story?

[254] Fucking kidding me. My mom was a nurse and my dad was a purser on, like, the Matson lines.

[255] They were purse.

[256] And my mom was already engaged.

[257] And when they met, my dad talked about this at actually at her funeral service which was so sweet he said this second he saw her he goes she was wearing a green sweater and i knew i'm in trouble i know isn't that the best so anyway how did i not know this i know it's the best so he there's a lot of like emotional attachment to australia and to sidney did i really just make you cry no i think i'm getting my period and my meds have been real scurry lately but that's still the sweetest thing i've ever heard it's it's kind of the best and also because going to try to go with us but he can't go like they my parents met wherever who gives a shit they got divorced but like your parents met and he really did follow through they were yeah it's true they were married for almost 50 years that's amazing yeah yeah like 45 years I know it was it was good times I mean that's it was it was no it was a wife it was a life well lived okay yes it really this was she got the man of her dreams and she had a happy marriage and two kids, one who had a pretty good podcast.

[258] Wait, your sister has a podcast?

[259] Your sister has a podcast?

[260] Oh, happy birthday, by the way.

[261] Nice move, Georgia.

[262] Laura.

[263] God damn it.

[264] Did you call her Karen?

[265] I called her Sarah, and you know why?

[266] Because the only reason I can remember her name is because you worked with Sarah Silverman.

[267] Sarah Silverman's sister's name is Laura.

[268] So I always think Karen and Sarah, I know Karen and Laura.

[269] Oh, that's hilarious.

[270] Is that weird?

[271] I can't remember names.

[272] Shit, can we.

[273] No, no, no, no, no. It's fine.

[274] I apologize to Laura.

[275] She'll think it's funny as long as you didn't call her Karen, which is what happens to her all the time.

[276] And it makes her really mad.

[277] Really?

[278] Because people like family friends will welcome go, are you Karen, the comedian?

[279] And she'll go, no, I'm Laura, the one that shapes children's minds.

[280] She's a teacher, because she's a genius teacher.

[281] NBD.

[282] No big deal.

[283] Okay, those were our tour days.

[284] no, wait, there's a few more that are, oh shit.

[285] Stephen, the third's here.

[286] Oh, God, I just hung up on him.

[287] Shit.

[288] Stephen, can you do me a big favor and go down to the...

[289] Don't cut this, Stephen.

[290] I'm going to eat all of it, though.

[291] At the bottom of the Sarah.

[292] Can you...

[293] Yeah, is this added it?

[294] Okay.

[295] But don't stop it.

[296] Keep going.

[297] Bring the key to the gate because sometimes they will lock you out.

[298] There's a key like on the hook.

[299] No, no, no. Yeah.

[300] Just bring the key hook.

[301] It's good.

[302] Also, can I just say in this moment of chaos?

[303] first of all chaos as a ladder as we all learned on Game of Thrones last week.

[304] No spoilers.

[305] Wait, do you watch them?

[306] But.

[307] I said burgers and then I'll say you can you can have leave burgers in.

[308] Burger time.

[309] Burger time.

[310] so Sydney Opera House September 12th coming up and then oh Detroit we added a show to you which is so cool because people like so we're going to be in Detroit September 29th and September 29th there's an early show and a late show and then San Diego we added a show because you're fucking awesome too September 13th there's a late show and then Anaheim we're coming to you on the 14th of October the second show at the Orpheum in Madison.

[311] Wisconsin?

[312] Nice.

[313] You guys sold out Friday the 20th, so we're adding September the 21st Saturday the next night.

[314] Okay.

[315] And then Tampa, we have November 3rd for you at the Hard Rock on the fourth.

[316] We have Orlando.

[317] And then Fort Lauderdale on the 5th.

[318] Come there.

[319] Da -da -da -da, be -bo -bo -ba, be -bo -bo -ba.

[320] That's pretty...

[321] There's other shows, too, but those are the ones that are, like, have tickets, like, a lot of available.

[322] Tickets available, guys.

[323] So everything else, go look at my favoritemermer .com slash live.

[324] And more dates to come.

[325] There are people that tweet a lot saying, naming cities and saying, why do you hate us?

[326] You're going to be so pleasantly surprised, is all I'm saying.

[327] These are all 2017 dates that we've announced.

[328] We can't tell you certain things, but we're going to be able to, soon.

[329] So just have a little faith, have a little hope.

[330] I would say the same thing to the girl that tweeted me and said you guys didn't release a mini this week.

[331] And then she mentioned something about unqualified.

[332] Oh.

[333] That were unqualified to podcast?

[334] Nope.

[335] She mentioned something about Anna Farras and I just thought it was such an odd coincidence because we're going to be on unqualified with Ana Farris next week.

[336] We did a combo hybrid episode.

[337] A king duo.

[338] A trio, yeah.

[339] We all compare, well, actually a quadro if you include Sam, who is her producer, who's on her podcast.

[340] What's another one with Stephen?

[341] Oh, shit, sir, Stephen was there too.

[342] He's a five -o.

[343] I mean, I was just hanging out.

[344] Just kind of touching the leather couches.

[345] I mean, that was a nice house.

[346] It was really nice.

[347] We had a good time at Honest House.

[348] And we got to give people advice that we were also in, qualified to give.

[349] Anna gave a fucking her murder, which was awesome.

[350] Yes.

[351] It was fun.

[352] So fucking cool.

[353] She's the best.

[354] I've honestly always been a fan of hers.

[355] I've honestly.

[356] The movie Just Friends, if you haven't seen it, with Anna Ferris, Ryan Reynolds.

[357] I don't know the name of the lead girl.

[358] Because Anna just distracted you so much.

[359] But if you haven't seen that movie, it's the best.

[360] Anyway, I've loved her since that movie.

[361] We're going to be on that.

[362] That's going to be this coming week.

[363] whatever that is.

[364] Good times.

[365] Great oldies.

[366] Great oldies.

[367] Also besides Laura's birthday, Vince's birthday is coming up this week.

[368] We got a big birthday week.

[369] That's right.

[370] Vince's birthday.

[371] Happy birthday.

[372] The name and date of his location of his birthday party?

[373] Yes.

[374] That's a great idea.

[375] There's a reason I'm saying that, but I'm not going to say it because then everyone will actually know it.

[376] But he's having a joint birthday party with some people and one of the people just puts it up on fucking social media for everyone to know.

[377] I know the person Yeah The famousest The famousest of them is like Cut it But last year Nick Lechay Was at his birthday party Oh that's nice I know right All right Should you talk about murder?

[378] Oh yes My neighbor just texted me And said he's going to fix my fence tomorrow Hell yes everybody Hopefully he doesn't think Fix my fence Is a wink wink Like break George's legs To like so she can never get out again Oh I'm sorry That was horrible Hi, best friend.

[379] Look at Mimi come right over.

[380] Speaking of me, me, me being like, please get me the fuck out of here.

[381] This kitten is killing me. You know, it would be so funny, though, and then I put her down in my house, and the dogs just come running straight at her.

[382] But in a hug her?

[383] And hug her close to their chest.

[384] Mimi would beat the shit out of them.

[385] Yes, for sure.

[386] No, she wouldn't.

[387] Frank would have no eyes left.

[388] Well, I've seen the way they throw the doll of me around in the air, which I need to put on fucking Instagram again, that this, that would, oh, me, me, girl.

[389] Okay, Stephen.

[390] Stephen, who?

[391] We'll have any idea who's first.

[392] I tried really hard this time, it's Karen.

[393] Okay.

[394] Damn it.

[395] Because, well, I mean, again, people are like, do the live shows count, but that was the last episode.

[396] Last episode.

[397] Karen went last, so Karen goes first.

[398] Okay.

[399] Yeah, I don't know if the live shows count.

[400] We're creating our own reality here.

[401] I think the episodes we post count, right?

[402] Yeah.

[403] Except they're not real time to us.

[404] That's the weird part.

[405] How about after, Live shows, we get to, excuse me, I'm burping, we got to choose who goes first.

[406] Sure.

[407] But only, only on that day, like only in that scenario.

[408] Which one?

[409] That we, in the scenario where we have just posted a live show.

[410] Yeah, if we've just posted a live show, because we don't know, you know, so much going on.

[411] Yeah.

[412] Okay, so then, oh, how haven't we rock paper scissors right now?

[413] Basically, that a live show does a reset is what you're saying.

[414] That sounds fine to me. We do rock, paper, scissors, hit, right?

[415] Okay.

[416] Paper, scissors, hit.

[417] That means you get to decide or you go first?

[418] I just cut.

[419] Georgia's paper.

[420] I'm scissors.

[421] She's paper.

[422] That's true.

[423] That was the I'm scissors and paper song, which means Karen goes first.

[424] I'll go first.

[425] Okay.

[426] So that was unnecessary.

[427] There is a level of hysteria to this episode that I am enjoying quite a bit.

[428] Because your dogs didn't get hit by cars.

[429] Because my dogs aren't dead.

[430] My neighbor's going to fit.

[431] fix my fence.

[432] Oh, I didn't even tell you guys about the sunburn that I have.

[433] If I had a smaller upper body.

[434] Like, oh, and I also didn't tell you.

[435] It is.

[436] What happened?

[437] Can you see?

[438] You're just not pale.

[439] Oh, no, that's red.

[440] Yeah.

[441] Oh, that's gonna peel.

[442] My whole back.

[443] What happened?

[444] I just stood outside for 15 minutes like a fool.

[445] Like some sort of normal person with normal skin.

[446] I didn't know you were that Irish.

[447] Yeah.

[448] Well, I do it where I'll save it, save it, save it.

[449] And And then all of a sudden, I'm like, I love, I'm going to go outside and stand in the pool.

[450] And then I do it for, like, I'll start reading my phone or something.

[451] And then I'm just standing around with no sunblock on for, like, an extended period of time at one o 'clock, which is the, you know, you can't do it.

[452] I didn't know that about you.

[453] How I burn.

[454] Mm -hmm.

[455] I, I, that's why I don't like all the things.

[456] Anything.

[457] That's why I don't like anything.

[458] It's like these photosynthesis because we live in a. summertime city where everybody here has perfect skin and you're wearing right now you're wearing a terry cloth like summer jumper yeah like you're living the life because i am a nondescript jew who can tan i know and you like you have a consistency my right now i look like neapolitan ice cream i am deeply tan i am frighteningly white but here's what i want you to know there's a pinkness here's what you guys got to remember at people and how they look and they have this perfect thing.

[459] I am so fucking anxious and have so much anxiety around the bathing suit strapped tan lines that I am so insane in the sun that that's why I don't have them.

[460] I don't look like, ah, this great glowing tan.

[461] It's just no big deal.

[462] Like, I will not go outside with fucking straps on.

[463] Oh, okay.

[464] So you're all different, Karen.

[465] So you work.

[466] You're saying you really put in the mental and the physical work.

[467] Because I think nothing looks trashier than having like, especially the, I'm going to insults a lot of people.

[468] You know that like, including the one you're looking at right now.

[469] No, no, no, no, no. I'm not, I don't care about any of that.

[470] I'm saying the triangle bikini tan line.

[471] Girl?

[472] That goes up around your neck.

[473] Well, you don't wear your clothes.

[474] I've never seen a fucking.

[475] All I want to do.

[476] All I want to do right now is take my shirt off.

[477] Yes.

[478] And show you it's not a farmer's tan anymore.

[479] Now I've got the thing that's happening to me right now is, is like a lobster tan.

[480] But that's not fair because you have a, fucking pool in your backyard where you just be like tits out right so what the fuck tits out fits out everyone who's looking for that backyard where they can break into there's also a pool back there and there's a Karen Kilgariff without no I wear a full calf tan at all times except for the 15 minutes I didn't do it today and I'm now bright pink I don't know where this is going I don't have time and yet all I want to do is talk about this all I want to do is talk about it what if we did an episode without murder we could do it we must be 30 minutes in already 45 cut out the conversation we had while you were getting the burgers and we just talked about riots we it actually got quiet for a little while weird because we were both just like baby do do also I have a grant my grandmother's beautiful vintage mug just full of whiskey nice yeah that's how this is going god damn and my murder's good but kind of long so I'm worried about this yeah I am too okay there's so much to worry about Stephen Casper is an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price.

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[488] So right now you can get $50 towards any mattress purchased by visiting casper dot com slash murder and using uh the code murder guess what terms and conditions apply so go to casper dot com slash murder promo code murder 50 dollars off um towards any mattress purchase uh check it out and tell us tell us how you're sleeping or don't that'd be creepy okay bye okay the world is canceled we can do this in 50s and really fast 15 minutes okay we're going to now put this on this you know how you can do at one point five speed or two speed me oh yeah like all podcasts we're gonna talk like that so if you put it on on times two it's going to be like times 10 yeah this week i'm doing peter curtain the vampire of dusseldorf yeah have you heard of him you know i love it i don't it's one of those things that you bookmark a million times to maybe do and then you don't do it i um there's another guy that's german that that was called like the werewolf of something that I thought this guy was.

[489] And so I was, I thought it was going to be like I'm doing 1000s.

[490] You know that.

[491] You are if I was.

[492] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[493] Absolutely.

[494] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[495] Exactly.

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[510] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[511] Goodbye.

[512] Hey, this is exciting.

[513] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[514] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[515] But there's a mystery hang.

[516] over everyone, who killed Saz?

[517] And were they really after Charles?

[518] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[519] This season, murder hits close to home.

[520] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[521] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[522] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[523] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[524] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy, Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[525] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[526] Goodbye.

[527] Mind blowing.

[528] But then when I look this up, this guy is so fucked.

[529] He is like Albert Fish level fucked.

[530] Oh my God, my God.

[531] Yeah.

[532] So it was exciting.

[533] I mostly took this, most of the information is from the biography .com, which is such a good, when you get one of those articles, they do it.

[534] here's the thing when you research these stories yes you know who's good every victim is like on one in one article she's 10 years old in another one she's 13 in another one she's nine and it literally one time she's 17 the times changed the dates change the ages change you get on biography biography .com and you're like this is golden there's a few biography dot com vanity fair Washington post yes new york times.

[535] Lock and load.

[536] Lock and load .com.

[537] Lock and load .com.

[538] Cut and paste .com.

[539] Guns and ammo .com.

[540] And you are, you have all the details.

[541] You're good to go.

[542] Yeah.

[543] Martha Stewart living.

[544] She knows all the good killer info.

[545] Yes, she does.

[546] Okay.

[547] Peter Curtin.

[548] Born in 1883.

[549] We're going all the way back.

[550] You were like, I'm not doing that voice.

[551] I know.

[552] Immediately.

[553] Nope.

[554] Nope.

[555] Right as I started doing that voice, my sunburn flared.

[556] And I was like, No voices.

[557] One of your sunburn is like your psyche.

[558] That's like, stop it.

[559] My sunburn is my dad's voice from my childhood going, A, show off time's over.

[560] All my dad did my whole child is.

[561] Jesse Pop.

[562] Your dad is Jesse Pop.

[563] Is he really?

[564] Show off times over.

[565] Does he say stuff like that?

[566] It sounds like Jessup.

[567] Our friend Jesse Pop, who's, hey, eh, that and you're not better than me. You think you're better than me?

[568] You think you're better than me?

[569] You think you're better than me?

[570] Okay.

[571] Born in 1883.

[572] Peter was the eldest of 13 children Don't do that Both parents severe alcoholics Don't do that either Please don't do it Father a brutal sadist Who would beat his wife Beat the children viciously molested his daughters And would sometimes gather the children And make them watch Him have sex with their mother He was eventually arrested For raping his daughter multiple times Oh you face So terrible terrible kickoff for Peter Curtin.

[573] Very bad childhood.

[574] All bad.

[575] In 1902, when he was nine years old, he befriended a dog catcher who lived in the same apartment building as him.

[576] Super chill dude, right?

[577] People who catch dogs and kill them?

[578] Right.

[579] Actually, this man would keep the dogs and torture them and he taught Peter all about it.

[580] Is this a weird themed episode for you about dog catchers?

[581] This is called dog anxiety by Karen.

[582] Kill Gariff.

[583] This is why I am surrounded by cats right now.

[584] Yes, exactly.

[585] So, okay, so Peter, having a terrible parent, and then also his father went off to jail, so he basically bonded with the worst person he could ever be around.

[586] So terrible childhood, terrible outside influence.

[587] When he was 11 years old, he told the police that he was playing on a raft of a schoolmate, and he pushed the boy into the water because he knew the boy couldn't swim.

[588] Oh, great.

[589] And when another schoolmate saw this happen, the second boy jumped into the water to save the first boy, and Peter Curtain leaned down and pushed both their heads underwater and drown them both.

[590] And the police, when the police came upon it, they ruled it in accidental drowning.

[591] My mouth is, I'm not just being quiet because I'm not a quiet person.

[592] I'm only quiet when I'm shocked.

[593] It's ajar.

[594] That's fucked up.

[595] The door is ajar.

[596] And nine years, no, sorry, 11 years old.

[597] It's so, it's like the age of my niece.

[598] It's so creepily young.

[599] Wow.

[600] So then when he became an adolescent, his fetish for animal cruelty developed into full -on bestiality.

[601] Thanks to the old dog catcher, he began to have sex with barnyard animals.

[602] And he then developed or progressed into killing the animals.

[603] while he was fucking them.

[604] No, no, no. No. We don't have to, we don't have to live there for very long.

[605] Let's move on.

[606] He, of course, was always running away from home to get away from his father's violence and sadism, but then he always ended up having to come back.

[607] When he was 16, on his way out of town one time when he was running away, he met a woman.

[608] He lured her into the local park where he raped her and strangled her.

[609] Okay.

[610] So in 1913 at the age of 20, he's actually.

[611] out on his own.

[612] He starts robbing, you know, he's doing a lot of petty crimes, I guess.

[613] He starts breaking into taverns because there's a business on the downstairs, then there's living quarters on the upstairs.

[614] So on May 25th, 1913, he breaks into an establishment that's owned by the Klein family.

[615] So as the parents worked downstairs, Peter Curtin snuck into their living quarters upstairs, found 10 -year -old Christine Klein, asleep in her bed, raped or strangled her, slit her throat, then sat there and watched her bleed out.

[616] The next morning, he returned to the scene of the crime.

[617] He went to the pub across the street, and he bought a drink and sat amongst the locals and listened to them as they talked about what happened and speculated about who did it.

[618] Wait, how old was he at this point?

[619] 20.

[620] Okay.

[621] Okay.

[622] And at the time, an uncle in the Klein family and the father, who owned the pub, had been fighting, and the uncle had threatened his brother and said, like, I'm going to do something that you're going to regret.

[623] So for a little, everybody thought the uncle did it.

[624] And he actually, eventually was let off, but he was actually a main suspect in this murder.

[625] yeah um two months later he broke into another tavern and this time three sisters were sleeping in their beds he went to the girl in them center bed she was 17 year old gertrude franken and he strangled her while she slept he killed her and then snuck back out neither of her sisters woke up what are like specifically specifically evil thing to do horrible to be like i'm letting them wake up to this on purpose yeah on purpose no he he is a deranged mind it's it's all the worst things combined because clearly he already was a sociopath but then he had the worst childhood a human being could possibly have the worst family a human being could possibly have the worst outside influence like it just came at him from every direction yeah um in 1913 he was arrested for arson so he's all about that McDonald triad they call it of hurting animals arson he probably was a bedwether I saw that word today too and I was looking something up yeah that's I think that's the person that made it up okay um McDonald's the McDonald's triad two cheeseburger killing animals special sauce wetting the bed light all that shit on fire and then light it all on fire with a sign of bed cheese Okay.

[626] With each successive sentence, Peter Curtin's rage, this is a direct quote from the Biography Channel page.

[627] As I'm reading this, I'm like, this is hard to read.

[628] Oh, because it's a cut and paste.

[629] Peter Curtin's rage against society and his capacity for depravity increased.

[630] So when he'd go to jail, he'd get sent to solitary confinement.

[631] Oh, which I'm sure is chill as fuck, right?

[632] Well, when he was there, he was able to very deeply fantasize very vividly about the brutal sex acts that he enjoyed.

[633] And so then he ended up, he would break prison rules intentionally so that he would get the longest sentence in solitary confinement because he liked it so much.

[634] It's disgusting.

[635] Okay.

[636] He was called up for military service at the start of World War I, but he deserted.

[637] and he was jailed.

[638] He remained in prison until 1921, which was his longest sentence to date.

[639] And when he get out of prison, he married an older woman, a sex worker who he knew, who had served time for killing her fiancé.

[640] Her name was Augusta.

[641] They were a great pair.

[642] They found real love.

[643] They found love in a, in a, whatever, a homeless, a homeless place.

[644] A homeless place.

[645] That's right.

[646] He became a molder.

[647] I think that, so he maybe shaped crown moldings.

[648] Yeah, castor plaster.

[649] Casterplaster.

[650] They lived in relative normalcy for four years, and then they moved back to Dusseldorf.

[651] And right around that time, rapes began being reported all over the city.

[652] Oh, no. Okay.

[653] So now he's going into, we're in 1929 now.

[654] February 3rd, he meets a woman named Maria Kuhn.

[655] he ends up stabbing her 24 times with a pair of scissors.

[656] So this, now he starts carrying a pair of scissors around with him at all times.

[657] He is not an organized killer.

[658] Like, I think they're saying, like, he's, he's an impulse killer, but he, so he, like, he knows who he wants to kill and he plans that a little bit beforehand, but he doesn't plan anything else.

[659] It's like, there it is and goes for it.

[660] Yeah.

[661] But he knows what he does.

[662] but he's got his scissors in his pocket because he's like wants to be ready sure um okay so february 9th 1929 five days after attacking maria coon he strangles nine -year -old rosa oliger stabs her all over her entire body he leaves then returns to the body hours later and sets it on fire monster on february 13th he stabs 45 -year -old mechanic rudolph shear 20 times with his scissors he returns to the scene of the crime again and this time speaks to detectives about what happened the german press uh obviously is covering all of this right um and at one point they find out from police that the police are theorizing that this attacker is drinking the blood of his victims um and so that's when the german press dubs him the vampire of duceldorf um Now, at one point right around this time, a learning disabled man named Stousberg admitted to all of the vampire killings.

[663] So he's committed to an asylum and the police have convinced himself that the case is solved.

[664] Six months after that, on August 11th, he asks a woman named Maria Hahn to a date at a pub.

[665] He gets her alone, rapes her, strangles, or stabs her to death.

[666] buries her body in a cornfield.

[667] He visits the body.

[668] Which is new for him, right?

[669] Baring body?

[670] Yes.

[671] Because he's almost like, oh, I got away with this, so I'm going to be different about it.

[672] Yes.

[673] It's escalating and he's like getting creative.

[674] Because someone got caught for his shit.

[675] Maybe.

[676] It's almost smart that he, you know what I mean?

[677] Like it almost shows that how smart he was.

[678] Right.

[679] Or it's like you didn't keep doing the same thing.

[680] You were like.

[681] He changed it up.

[682] And he does it.

[683] He does it again, the same thing again later.

[684] he he buries the body in the cornfield goes and visits it a bunch of times and eventually sends an anonymous letter to the police revealing her burial spot so three days later after he murders Maria Hahn on October 24th 1929 he's in a suburb of Germany two foster sisters are attending a fair together 14 -year -old Louisa Lenson and 5 -year -old Gertrude Honaker And Peter Curtin sees them there by themselves So he chats with them, he charms them, he makes friends with them At one point he sends Louisa off for cigarettes Then leads five -year -old Gertrude into the bushes, strangles her and slits her throat So the next day he attacks another woman Her name's Gertrude Schultt She survives the attack and she gives the police a description of her attacker.

[685] She says he's a pleasant looking man in his 40s.

[686] So now, after all of these attacks, the entire city of Dusseldorf is in a panic.

[687] In September of 1929, he rapes a house servant named Ida Router and then beats her to death with a hammer and leaves her body next to a river.

[688] So he's changing his M .O. again.

[689] The next month, on October 12th, he meets another servant girl.

[690] Her name was Elizabeth Dorier.

[691] And he asks her out.

[692] They walk along a river and he hits her in the head with a hammer.

[693] He rapes her, beats her to death with the hammer and leaves her body there by the river.

[694] A few days later, he attacks two more people with his hammer, but they survive.

[695] So basically now he's causing mass hysteria in Dusseldorf.

[696] The press is going crazy and he loves it.

[697] He's eating it up.

[698] On November 9th, 1929, he sent a newspaper, a hand -drawn map that detailed the position of the body that he left his most recent victim, a five -year -old girl named Gertrude Alberman.

[699] How many Gertrudes are there at this point?

[700] There's three.

[701] I mean, I think there's more.

[702] There's three or four.

[703] Because it's Germany in the 30s and 20s.

[704] Go on.

[705] He stabbed this five -year -old 35 times.

[706] Oh, my God.

[707] and then hit her under some rubble and then after he did that he waited around an angry mob formed when they found out that another little girl had been murdered and he joined the mob and protested along with them so it's that to me that like move right there is what i'm in it for because it feels like if you took pictures of every crime scene of the people that were lined up you could see the people who were responsible like totally that thing of serial killers where they need to go back and they have to like revisit and they mess with the cops and all that stuff because they enjoy it they're smarter yeah and they are smart in a way in a way yeah because they're psychopaths and our brains would never think that way because we could never imagine these things happening are doing these things that thing that we learned where it's like they don't feel anxiety so they don't get nervous and we're always measuring other people against how we feel.

[708] That guy looks nervous over there.

[709] Yeah.

[710] Where it's like no, they wouldn't be nervous.

[711] They would walk right up to you and be like, I've seen I would like to report something that I've seen and it's so dark.

[712] Oh my god.

[713] Can I tell you?

[714] Yeah.

[715] I'll tell you later.

[716] No, no, tell me. Well, I was in my murder, I was reading this thing and they had like, in one of the articles it was like, here's a riddle to see if someone's a psychopath or not.

[717] If they understand that, if they can get this riddle and fix it, then they're a psychopath or a sociopath or whatever the fuck.

[718] And you want to hear it?

[719] Yeah.

[720] A woman goes to her sister's funeral.

[721] Have you heard this?

[722] No. A woman goes to her sister's funeral.

[723] At the funeral, she meets a man and she falls in love with him.

[724] But she loses track of him and he leaves.

[725] And she doesn't know who he is.

[726] She doesn't know his name.

[727] A couple weeks later, she kills, that woman kills her brother.

[728] Why did she kill her brother?

[729] Her brother?

[730] Mm -hmm.

[731] Woman goes to her sister's funeral.

[732] meets a man falls madly in love with him doesn't know who he is he leaves a couple weeks later she kills her brother why because it's her father no that's always the answer to what they i know that's what i thought too and this means you're not a sociopath so she can see the man again whoa yeah yeah because she's like well if he came to my sister's funeral he knows us i really want to see him again i'm going to kill my brother and see that like like so the person who would be able to fix that Stephen now just got it Steven was that your answer Stephen no Steven's an extra Not so super bad because he didn't get it Until late I'm not making about you Stephen I think you're just a very angel So slow Now you're not slow you're not a fuck You know what I mean?

[733] Yes that's crazy It's the yawning trick or if you yawn and someone Doesn't yawn catch your yawn Okay but let's just be careful with this trick It's so fake But imagine if you're standing there and then some of the like turns to you with like their reptile eyes and goes like oh because he'd want to see her again and then you're like oh shit i'm in the elevator with this person well it's the same way when like when we did when i think one of us told the whole thing of like if you yawn and the person doesn't catch your yawn it's because they have no empathy and like we and that was like an episode 20 whatever and we still got people like my cat didn't just yawn right now and like at the time i was like vince didn't yawn when i yawn yeah so like it's all yeah what's the word party trick.

[734] However, it's a fun.

[735] It's fun time.

[736] It's a fun time.

[737] It's a good way to pass the time.

[738] Also, if you're just really quick, if you are, and it probably won't count now, but if you're going through the old back catalog and you're say a full year behind, you can hold those corrections.

[739] You can just keep those to yourself because you can, we rest, we assure you we've been corrected on whatever it is.

[740] We've seen Dear Zachary.

[741] Every once a while, people just tweet me trophy and I'll be like we fucking know that's not even from 10 episodes ago we've done it I think we've done it like 10 times whatever okay listen look listen look and listen okay listen sorry go um okay so the angry mob is where I ended angry mom but now here's the thing so the police noticed this time that the handwriting that was in the letter the woman that was buried at the cornfield believe Maria was her name it matches the map that someone this anonymous person sent of 5 year old Gertrude's burial site and so the cops are like hold on a second these like they're putting it all together so finally in 1931 knowing the police were close to catching him Peter Curtin confesses his entire murder spree to his wife Augusta she's like cool she's like damn right um and oh my god he tells her you need to turn me in and you can get a reward like let's do this so that you're taken care of so that my bad behavior doesn't fuck you over which is super weird such a weird like he really loved his wife and was stayed loyal to her and i mean not really because he was doing terrible things but it's also like that he had a conscience or he cared conscience enough to like tell her yeah and most guys you like fuck make out with someone at a party and cheat on their whatever don't tell yeah he was like listen he's like hey augusta i'm a real wild card guess what hey you're you're not going to believe what i'm about to tell you ever heard of of ten girls named gertrude killed them all damn that was me you know how everyone's just screaming at the top of their lungs in the street all day and every day.

[742] It's because of me. It's me. Okay, so once he was under arrest, he provides an astonishingly detailed account of his string of crimes to Professor Carl Berg, who is a distinguished psychologist who later published a confession in a book called The Statist.

[743] Curtin claimed 79 individual acts of crime in all.

[744] He went to great lengths to convince the authorities of his guilt.

[745] His memory was nearly photographic.

[746] Oh, my God.

[747] So his recollection of each other offense provided him with great pleasure and in his trial, which started on April 13th, 1931 in Dusseldorf, he was brought up on nine charges of murder, seven attempted murder.

[748] He initially retracted his extensive confession, claiming that he'd only said that to ensure his wife's financial security, but then there was such an overwhelming amount of evidence that he eventually just pled guilty.

[749] It took the jury 90 minutes to return a verdict of guilty on all counts.

[750] He received nine death sentences and he was executed by guillotine on July 2nd, 1931 in Cologne.

[751] And during his trial, I think this is very interesting, he was made to sit in a cage in the courtroom so that the family members of the victims didn't attack and kill him.

[752] Yes.

[753] That's Peter Curtin.

[754] The vampire of Dusseldorf and the monster of Dusseldorf.

[755] That was fucking good, Karen.

[756] Considering probably never going to go to Dusseldorf, Germany, too.

[757] I'm glad you did it on the podcast and not at a live show.

[758] That's right.

[759] You know?

[760] You know, you never know, though.

[761] You don't ever know.

[762] All these Germans were like, oh, no. Octune.

[763] Octune, baby.

[764] Yeah.

[765] Should we do it?

[766] Let's do it.

[767] Oh, you want to check your, I'm going to pee.

[768] Do you want to check your?

[769] Yeah, yeah.

[770] I'm not a P &E and I'm never at the same time.

[771] Here we go.

[772] Okay.

[773] Double time.

[774] Hold on, I'm sorry.

[775] They're not in order.

[776] Oh, my God.

[777] Jesus.

[778] Sorry, Karen can get it once in a hand.

[779] Fuck, these are not in order.

[780] you know what Sammy?

[781] Can you have me my computer?

[782] I'll just read off my computer.

[783] Sorry.

[784] It's okay.

[785] Thank you.

[786] Fucking printer.

[787] I did numbers right before I printed.

[788] I did page numbers.

[789] Why don't they?

[790] I know.

[791] It should be automatic.

[792] You should opt to take them off, not put them on.

[793] All right.

[794] I need a new printer, basically.

[795] Okay.

[796] Okay.

[797] All right.

[798] I'm just going to get started on this one, even though I have some thoughts on it, but I think it's best to just like, let's get into this.

[799] Okay.

[800] You ready for the murder of the family of Jeffrey McDonald?

[801] Oh, yes.

[802] Do you know this one?

[803] This is the one I thought the other one was.

[804] Yes.

[805] This is the one I thought the doctor.

[806] Yeah.

[807] Is this guy a doctor too?

[808] Sam Shepard?

[809] Yes, yes, yes.

[810] This is not Sam Shepard's family, but yes, this guy is it.

[811] Yes.

[812] Yes.

[813] They're very similar.

[814] They're very similar.

[815] Okay, awesome.

[816] So I'm going to just get into this and then, because this is, all right.

[817] Jeffrey McDonald.

[818] He's, in high school, he's voted most popular and most likely to succeed.

[819] He's senior class president, captain of the fucking football team, hot, like, well -liked, popular dude.

[820] In the Made for TV movie Fatal Vision, Karen, he is played by a young Gary Cole.

[821] Oh, yes, Gary Cool.

[822] Right.

[823] Right.

[824] We went on to those TPS reports by Friday.

[825] Remember?

[826] Office space?

[827] Yes.

[828] I have to go ahead and have you come in on Saturday.

[829] This is what I was going to ask you what he was from, because I didn't know and I knew you'd know.

[830] Mostly office space.

[831] Yes.

[832] I mean, that's his greatest role of all time.

[833] Definitely.

[834] Except for Fatal Vision.

[835] Where he plays a young Jeffrey McDonald.

[836] After high school, he gets scholarship to fucking Princeton.

[837] And while he's there, so jealous.

[838] And you think he's fucking better than us?

[839] Oh, what do you know stuff?

[840] Oh.

[841] Gets this college with Princeton.

[842] And then while he's there, he's, Mary's his high school sweet heart, Colette Stevenson.

[843] She is played by Wendy Shaw.

[844] Okay.

[845] On Fatal Vision.

[846] So you watched Fatal Vision is what you're telling me. Yeah, but I also knew that you would have questions and I would need it.

[847] And I just, like, also don't ever know who's going to strike your fancy.

[848] True.

[849] So you just want to be ready.

[850] Yeah, so I have a couple more characters.

[851] Love it.

[852] All right.

[853] After high school, he goes to Princeton.

[854] Marys Colette Stevenson.

[855] He goes to medical school.

[856] And then he joins the Army.

[857] He becomes a Green Beret Captain, which is a big deal, and a doctor in the Army.

[858] So by 26 years old, the couple, along with their two daughters, Kimberly, age five and Kristen, age two, moved to the prestigious Fort Bragg, North Carolina, which is an army base, but it's also open to the the public, which I didn't know that.

[859] Yeah, it's a very famous army base.

[860] Right.

[861] 26 years old and you've done all this stuff?

[862] You must be a sociopath.

[863] No. All right.

[864] So here is his story.

[865] I'm going to start with his story.

[866] It's a cold, rainy night on February 16th, 1970.

[867] They are in their ground floor apartment, four and a half month old pregnant, Colette, and two -year -old Kristen are asleep in the master bedroom.

[868] And Kimberly is asleep in her room.

[869] She's five.

[870] Jeffrey goes to try to go to bed and he finds that Kristen had wet his side of the bed in the master bedroom.

[871] So he brings her back to her own bed and he goes to sleep on the couch because he doesn't want to disturb everyone and make the bed again.

[872] All right.

[873] So he's asleep on the couch and then he is awoken while he's on the couch by Colette shouting, Jeff, why are they doing this to me?

[874] And Kimberly screaming, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

[875] He opens his eyes on the couch and sees four figures standing over him.

[876] A black man in a fatigue jacket with sergeant stripes on the sleeve, two white men and a woman wearing a floppy hat over stringy blonde hair.

[877] She's holding a flickering candle in front of her face and is chanting, acid is groovy.

[878] Kill the pigs.

[879] Jeffrey begins to rise and the black man brings a club crashing down on his head.

[880] A second later, McDonnell feels a sharp pain on the right side of his chest and he looks down and he sees an eye.

[881] ice pick blade that had been stabbed into him.

[882] He tries to wrestle the guys, and despite the fact that he's a green beret, which one of their things is to be training clandestine guerrilla force, they're still able to fight him and pull his pajama top over his head and onto his wrist.

[883] So he's got his arms up, but the bechamotop is holding his wrists together, and he's trying to fend them off, but they keep trying to stab him.

[884] And then the black man keeps clubbing him.

[885] And finally, he falls unconscious at the steps of the hallway that lead to the bedrooms.

[886] So he had been overpowered in this vicious struggle with hippies.

[887] With drug -crazed hippies.

[888] Acid heads.

[889] Acid -head.

[890] Kill the pigs.

[891] Cill the pigs.

[892] Acid heads.

[893] As they yell.

[894] As they are known to yell.

[895] When he comes to, Karen, he's on the stairs.

[896] He gets up and stumbles to the master bed.

[897] and finds Colette sprawled on the floor with the handle of the knife sticking out of her chest.

[898] He pulls the knife away and he throws it aside and he covers her body with his pajama top that he had removed from his wrist at that point and tries to give her mouth to mouth.

[899] What a good guy, right?

[900] Wait, okay.

[901] What?

[902] No, no. Go ahead.

[903] No, yeah, you're right.

[904] You're correct.

[905] That how gross, I mean, if somebody's been stabbed.

[906] To give him mouth to mouth?

[907] Yeah.

[908] That's not going to work.

[909] Is that what you're thinking?

[910] Yeah, and I just don't think most people do that.

[911] Right.

[912] Well, he's a surgeon, too.

[913] Oh, no, no, he should know whether or not.

[914] That wouldn't help work.

[915] So, Colette has been struck at least six times in the head with a blunt object.

[916] One of them causes a fracture to her skull.

[917] She had nine deep knife wounds at the front of her neck, seven deep knife wounds to her chest, and 21 puncture wounds to her chest area.

[918] Her chest is also bruised from what looked like an object that had been three.

[919] thrust into her chest on the headboard of the master bedroom uh someone had to use one of their fingers to write the word pig in her blood uh mcdonald jeffrey macdonald i kind of hate saying their last name instead of their first name because it makes you know like saying geoffrey makes it so much more personal do you know what i mean like in all of these murder stories we do yeah so geoffrey pulls the knife out puts it to the side and then tries to give her mouth to mouth in her bedroom Kristen who was two years old she has 22 gaping knife wounds to her upper back four wounds to her chest and one to her neck there's 15 shallow puncture wounds found in her chest as well as multiple cuts on both of her hands like she's trying to defend herself I know this is it's just fucked up in her bed Kimberly had been struck at least three times in the head with the blunt the blunt object and her skull showed multiple fractures stephen looks like he's going to pass the fuck out right now it just doesn't make sense it's like what why would any hippies or people any otherwise of all the things you want to do like you want to rob people you want to murder whatever and i mean i just got done talking about the vampire of deuseldorf who did exactly this but it's a rare person who can stab a baby multiple times and the breaking and entering thing, like not being a sadistic child killer, not being a rapist or a pedophile, and these things just happen in the house, seems so weird.

[920] And this is why I'm starting with, so I just wanted to start, right, which is, this is a great place to say, like, this is the story he told, all right?

[921] So, like, this story is so fucked up and insane, and I've heard it so many times, and when I finally decided to do it, I'm not doing it in a way that's like, here are the facts, and this is what happened, which you can, which are incredible and interesting, crazy and there's a great episode of Generation Y where they cover this case and it's it's it's point by point and it's really good and they're coming from the same place that I am which is that he clearly fucking did it yeah so here's his story I'm not going to get into all the insane facts of the trials that happen I'm going to go in I'm going to do his story what happened then what is most likely the real story okay so this is why I'm saying it so dramatically which I normally don't do right this is such a fucking bullshit made up story Yeah, yeah, I can tell with your, there's a, there's a hint of sarcasm.

[922] Right.

[923] And then there's some drama in it that I know that you hate this person.

[924] Right.

[925] And what's, essentially.

[926] But, yeah, I'm so bad at, I can't lie.

[927] If I hate you, you'll fucking know.

[928] What's so incredible about this is that there's still an argument about whether or not he did it, which I think when I get done with what really happened, you won't fucking believe it.

[929] So, Kimberly is in bed.

[930] Eight to ten deep iPhones are found on the right side of her neck.

[931] So Colette, Kimberly, and Kristen are all dead.

[932] Then once he wakes up, finds him dead.

[933] Jeffrey calls the operator and says, we've been stabbed.

[934] People are dying.

[935] People are dying.

[936] Yeah.

[937] Not my wife and my children.

[938] We've all been stabbed.

[939] People are dying.

[940] Some people are dying.

[941] Yeah, we.

[942] Yeah.

[943] It is so fascinating when they break that stuff down of like all those micro, you know, micro expression people that know the word and we've talked about that in other things definitely where when you use certain words and what it means the word choice like even just the breakdown of you know Patsy Ramsey or Patsy Ramsey's 911 call about Jean -Beney and the the ransom letter quote unquote for John Bonnet fascinating and this is another one of those there is a breakdown of his call as well as when he is interrogated later of every single thing he says, and it's fucking incredible.

[944] And I wish I could have included the whole thing, but it would have been three episodes, so I'm not.

[945] Okay.

[946] But let's just do it right now.

[947] Okay.

[948] Let's just, you know what?

[949] Let's just go for it.

[950] Um, blah, blah, blah, blah, when they arrive, they find the sole survivor, Jeffrey McDonald, lying with his arm around Colette in the master bedroom unconscious.

[951] So, like, he went and called, then he fucking positioned himself next to his wife.

[952] Okay.

[953] He had sustained bruising over his eye, a superficial stab wound in the arm and on his abdomen in the, in the, form of an upside -down V, several small puncture wounds were present on the upper left chest.

[954] None of his wounds required suturing.

[955] A neat and clean stab wound was located between two ribs on the right side of his chest and resulted in a collapsed lung.

[956] Oh, right, which is interesting.

[957] As they were gurneying him out, he whispers to the medics, four of them.

[958] She kept saying, acid is groovy.

[959] Kill the pigs.

[960] like he tells them that dramatically right all right so then i wrote now reality so by the time the sun had risen the next day the army's criminal investigation division division division cid which we're calling it now they didn't even believe geoffrey's story aside from his minor injuries there was no sign of an ice pick puncture on him despite the fact that he said he had been stabbed by an ice pick also there's just a single fiber fiber from his ripped pajamas that a single fiber was found in the living room where the struggle had ensued.

[961] That's all they found was a single like strand of his pajamas from ripping.

[962] However, in the bedrooms, there were dozens of his pajama fibers, including several found beneath Collette, others under Kimberly's sheets in her bedroom, and two more in Kristen's room.

[963] One lodged under her finger now.

[964] Oh, no. His pajamas, which he had said he had stumbled into Colette's, the wife's room, taken his pajamas up and covered her with.

[965] it.

[966] So he wouldn't even had it when he went to the kid's room.

[967] Yeah.

[968] Um, he claims he performed CPR on all three of them, but none of their mouths were open and his daughters were tucked into bed and lying on their sides.

[969] And he's a fucking surgeon.

[970] So he would know that that's not how you give CPR.

[971] Yeah.

[972] He originally claimed he didn't wash up before making the call to the police, but there's no blood on the phone he used to make the call.

[973] And, but there was blood in the sink drain.

[974] Oh.

[975] Then the CID found a blood -smudged brand new issue of Esquire Magazine in the living room.

[976] So an article in the Esquire magazine details the drug -crazed hippies who had murdered Sharon Tate just seven months before that.

[977] According to investigators, it contained, the article contained 18 similarities to the murders of Colette and the girls, including a blonde, candle -carrying hippie woman.

[978] you know it's funny i was thinking um patty hurst because there's that famous picture when patty with her hat on um did she wear a hat into the bank i can't remember i just see her with like a pulled down low hat but she had a but she did have a wig on it yeah so she had like but i guess it wasn't blonde hair but there was a black man with an army jacket my god karen that's what i was thinking of But, I mean, it's all the same thing where it's like, but I don't, that was that 1970?

[979] Was it before or after?

[980] Maybe he's psychic.

[981] Anyway.

[982] It's like clearly, it's just like these three things have been in the media and they were, he was just like, I drive around and there's a hippie.

[983] There's a, like, it's the thing of like, and I read a lot about Reddit things where it were like, the acid is groovy.

[984] Sure, that's something we said like in a, you know, acid is so groovy.

[985] We said groovy.

[986] Kill the pigs was a totally different sect of people.

[987] Those were the crazy.

[988] left -wing, you know, fuck the police people who weren't the same as the hippies.

[989] So it's something that like a straight -laced military man would be like, here's what hippies say.

[990] Here's what drug -crazed hippies say.

[991] Especially someone that's reading up on the Manson murders.

[992] Because death to the pigs or whatever, that thing was a part of it too.

[993] Someone said someone in, when they were talking about that in the Reddit article, they were like, it's like if today someone were trying to blame hipsters on something and said, they kept saying the first album was better the first album was the best and it's like nobody fucking really says that that's what you think we say it's just this like insanity which I really love because I hadn't even thought about that okay they found that the word pig that was written in blood on the headstand had been written and using a surgical glove which were found in the house and the weapons that all come from inside the house and then the weapons were thrown in a bush right outside the house almost like someone opened the back door and like if there were four people at least who were committing something they'd all run out and put their fucking weapons under the same bush yeah no pre -agreed bush before they went in put it down and walk away guys this is the this is weapon bush please weapon bush Stephen that's the name of the episode this is our new that's what I'm gonna call anyway okay going on under a bush and the, eh, okay, so, how, howmever, listen, there's always a howmever, you know.

[994] Got to.

[995] Got to have a halmever.

[996] Someone made a shirt that just says, hellmever on it.

[997] Really?

[998] It makes me so happy.

[999] Aw.

[1000] So, of course, many, not of course.

[1001] This, okay, cut that out.

[1002] Steve, no, don't cut out.

[1003] Many mistakes were made during the investigation from failing to seal off the crime scene, so 26 people trampled through it before it was spying and secured, which is a kind of a normal thing in the 70s, I feel like.

[1004] Yes, that happened all the time.

[1005] didn't know it was happening they showed up it's pouring rain they run in they see bodies they have to take one out it's there's going to be a lot of people coming through yes but the fucking ambulance driver stole geoffrey macdonald's wallet from his desk what yeah no yoink it right off the fucking desk wait it's this an ambulance driver not on the on the army base i don't think so i think they just i don't know it was an army base but there's a hospital oh that's crazy i don't know who it was, but bold move.

[1006] Ambulance driver.

[1007] But just, like, walking with a garnet, Zlink, you know what I mean?

[1008] That guy had a problem.

[1009] Yeah.

[1010] Like being fired from his job, hopefully.

[1011] And, like, the next day, the garbage man, they were like, yeah, go ahead and take the trash away.

[1012] Oh, put the trash out.

[1013] No. Let's put a hold on that.

[1014] Nope.

[1015] They also allowed...

[1016] NCIS would have never made that mistake but starring Mark Harmon.

[1017] Whenever I think of Mark Harmon, I think it's the...

[1018] What's the Olympic diver?

[1019] Or what's the guy from Star Wars, the one who hit his head?

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] What's the guy from Star Wars is his name?

[1022] Luke?

[1023] No. No, his father.

[1024] What's his father?

[1025] No, what's Luke's name in real life?

[1026] Mark Harmon.

[1027] Damn it.

[1028] You say Hammond?

[1029] I always think it's Mark Harmon.

[1030] I think it's him.

[1031] Oh, oh, oh.

[1032] Yeah.

[1033] It's not.

[1034] They're similar.

[1035] They're similar.

[1036] But this is why I tell you the names of people who are playing roles and ask you to fill in the lights.

[1037] You run it all by me. No idea.

[1038] Um, da -da -da -da, do, do, do, da, beep -boop.

[1039] Trash, McDonald's home.

[1040] Oh, they, 40 sets of fingerprints just were allowed to be destroyed, and a bloody footprint was lost in the process of removing it, which I just think of some guy, like, slipping, like it's a banana peel, you know.

[1041] But he's, he's trying to take a footprint, print, and then he's like, what?

[1042] Someone knocks into him.

[1043] Get those marbles out of here.

[1044] Mr. Bean.

[1045] It's just Mr. Bean.

[1046] get those marvels Mr. Bean will never process a crime scene again.

[1047] No, we're not making that mistake again.

[1048] Never again.

[1049] Sometimes I'm so busy talking that I don't hear the funny thing.

[1050] Believe me. So after.

[1051] That's all I do.

[1052] Still, the military, they formally charge Jeffrey McDonald with the murders on May 1st, 1970.

[1053] But at this point, an 18 -year -old drug addict hippie in town known to police named Helena Stokely.

[1054] She's known to wear, get this, a floppy hat, a blonde wig, and like the same kind of look, drug addict hippie.

[1055] She confesses that herself and various people around town did the crime.

[1056] I thought you were dangling the kitten in front of Elvis just now.

[1057] And in the corner of my eyes, he's even dangling something in front of Elvis.

[1058] And it's just, it looks like a kitten.

[1059] Anyways, so she says, oh, I was really high on mescaline and acid that night.

[1060] I think we were there.

[1061] I remember these things from it.

[1062] Here's three accomplices that I think was there with me. One of them turned out to be in jail while this was happening.

[1063] But she really throws a wrench in the whole thing.

[1064] The wig and the floppy hat, it heights the 70s.

[1065] You know who else owned that?

[1066] Colette, the woman got ordered.

[1067] So, like, there's just no. It just fucks this investigation up forever.

[1068] Right.

[1069] Right.

[1070] And I wonder if that was intentional.

[1071] Well, he made up a story and he got really fucking.

[1072] lucky that's what i think happened think so he made up a or could he have made up a story and then given a wig and a hat to a person in town that would have you know considering he was a doctor and he was also like saw civilians he might have already been aware of her at some point oh yeah she came in with someone who knows but what i can tell she's she's a really unhealthy woman a girl drug addict mentally ill she in her teens she was 18 uh really not you doing well.

[1073] And so she kind of seemed like someone who needed and wanted attention, not in a mean way, but in a desperate way.

[1074] Right.

[1075] So this whole thing got tangled up.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] She got tangled up in it, which made his credibility, which just made him seem more credible.

[1078] Right.

[1079] Which made people question.

[1080] Introduced more doubt.

[1081] Yeah.

[1082] That's the thing.

[1083] Yes.

[1084] Okay.

[1085] Okay.

[1086] So that means based on everything, the charges were dismissed the following October because of insufficient evidence and a couple of months after the murder charges were dropped super hot, charismatic, really charming, Jeffrey McDonald appears on, he becomes famous.

[1087] Oh, yeah.

[1088] He becomes like the Sam Shepard, which is that everyone loves him and knows him and oh my God, he got his poor guy, his wife and two children died and, you know, that kind of thing.

[1089] He appears on the late night program, the Dick Cavett Show.

[1090] Um, although his celebrity comes from his family's brutal murders, he doesn't seem like he gives a shit.

[1091] He's laughing.

[1092] The audience is laughing.

[1093] He tells jokes.

[1094] He criticizes the army investigators.

[1095] No fucking way.

[1096] He is, he has no idea.

[1097] Like, he is so charming and sociopathic that he doesn't understand how bad this looks.

[1098] You know one of those people that you're like, they love me?

[1099] Well, this is, that's what Diane Downs did, remember?

[1100] Yes, it's exactly that.

[1101] And then when they talk about like, as if everyone's super concerned about them only.

[1102] Right.

[1103] He doesn't bring up the fact that, you know, Colette's parents have lost their daughter, their only daughter and grandchild.

[1104] And grandchildren, he's being fucking Mr. Funny Man over here.

[1105] And he's like celebrating that he got let off on this.

[1106] Amazing.

[1107] It's disgusting.

[1108] But what's great about this is that up until this point, Colette's, mother and her stepfather who I think raised Colette.

[1109] He's in it hard.

[1110] Alfred and Mildred Casab.

[1111] How much do you love Alfred and Mildred?

[1112] You want to know who plays them?

[1113] Who?

[1114] Okay.

[1115] Alfred is played by Carl Maldon.

[1116] Yes.

[1117] Yeah.

[1118] Streets of San Francisco.

[1119] I was raised on it.

[1120] Yeah?

[1121] The best TV show of all time.

[1122] Is that the one where there's like all these couples and they all hang out in there?

[1123] No, that's a love boat.

[1124] No, what's the one from like the night, the San Francisco 90s one.

[1125] 90s?

[1126] Yeah.

[1127] Like gay people and straight people and they're like, it's like, oh, oh, that's the, yes, that's the Amistadma Pan books.

[1128] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1129] Something, something.

[1130] No, this was literally from the 70s.

[1131] It was Michael Douglas and Carl Malden detectives, San Francisco, driving around, shooting at people.

[1132] And like, as they drive around, just randomly shooting.

[1133] So they're murderers.

[1134] Yes.

[1135] but cops um and as they drive around it's just like you're i you get to look at it's video footage it's film footage actually of my childhood because it's just like oh yeah that's that used to be there that was there it's the most fun tv show to watch whenever i see an old l .a like you know the one where they drive around town everyone go watch los angeles plays itself it's such an amazing movie documentary have you seen it it's like a three -hour documentary perfectly narrated about Los Angeles playing itself in movies.

[1136] Wow.

[1137] So houses that are played in what movie backgrounds that are pretending to be China or, you know, downtown is supposed to be this thing, but you can tell it's not because of this landmark.

[1138] It's, I can't wait.

[1139] I've never heard of that.

[1140] Are you fucking.

[1141] I have to see it.

[1142] Listen, don't do drugs.

[1143] Get high and watch Los Angeles by itself and I'll see you in four fucking hours.

[1144] It's unbelievable.

[1145] I got to see it.

[1146] I watched it eight.

[1147] times and I've never gotten past an hour because it's just so involved in you fall asleep.

[1148] Anyway.

[1149] But, but, but, but, but, but, Carl Maldon.

[1150] Mildred is played by Eva Saint.

[1151] Eva Marie Saint.

[1152] Eve Marie Saint.

[1153] My dad pretended he saw her.

[1154] It was one of my favorite.

[1155] Oh, wait.

[1156] Did he pretend he saw her when he was carrying her bags on a ship and then he married and your mom?

[1157] No, he was, I know.

[1158] I talk about my father too much.

[1159] He's really hilarious.

[1160] Marty.

[1161] We were pulling out.

[1162] My dad and your dad were right.

[1163] We were pulling out of Vons.

[1164] And this woman walked in front of the car who was wearing clear plastic high heel shows.

[1165] There was a real Angeline feel to this woman.

[1166] Bit broke down, trying to be pretty later on in life.

[1167] In no way, am I criticizing her?

[1168] I'm there with her.

[1169] But as she passed the front of the car, my dad goes, Eva Marie Saint and pretended to recognize her.

[1170] And it was, that happened four years ago.

[1171] I'm still laughing about it.

[1172] I bet that would have made her day if she thought that someone recognized like that.

[1173] But except for if she heard the sarcasm in his voice.

[1174] Oh.

[1175] He, it was a bit.

[1176] Larry.

[1177] Jim.

[1178] Why do I always call him Larry?

[1179] Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.

[1180] You think that I'm related to the Silvermans and I'm not.

[1181] Is that their dad's name?

[1182] I don't.

[1183] It could be.

[1184] Larry Silverman.

[1185] My God.

[1186] It actually might be.

[1187] Shit, that would be creep -tastic.

[1188] Okay.

[1189] Blah -ba -ba -ba -ba -ba -ba -ba -ba.

[1190] Okay, so the parents are outspoken supporters of Jeffrey through the whole trial, everything.

[1191] Alfred even said that if he had another daughter, he would still want Jeffrey as a son -in -law, which is creepy.

[1192] But once the charges are dropped and he starts seeing all these little fucking creepy things, he's like, go fuck yourself.

[1193] Oh, because like the psychopath mask finally came down.

[1194] Finally, yes.

[1195] So he realizes that Jeffrey had been lying to him about so many things, including Jeffrey told him, finally he was.

[1196] was like get off my back man here's what happened myself and several several other green berets we tracked down one of the killers and we put him we killed him they told him they killed one of the killers just to be like we took care of it leave us alone leave me alone um so because of his crazy fucking like this guy i want like i'm pretty sure that Vince is going to be like growing up to be this guy and it made me like kind of love him where it was not Vince the other guy obviously I live in, but he was just like a dogged, became a investigator, found everything wrong with his fucking trial transcripts, everything.

[1197] He searched the house himself.

[1198] He was a badass.

[1199] This is the dad, Colette's dad.

[1200] This is the stepdad, yeah, who I think was with, with him forever.

[1201] They're like one of those cute old couples.

[1202] Anyways, so with him and the formation of the CID Reinvestigation team, they indict Jeffrey.

[1203] By then he was living at a lab.

[1204] life in California as a civilian doctor.

[1205] He's like fucking chicks.

[1206] He's got a yacht.

[1207] He's got a lot of money.

[1208] He's famous because he's the doctor who didn't kill people, maybe.

[1209] In 1974, McDonnell is brought before the, Jeffrey is brought before the grand jury in North Carolina and he's indicted in all three counts of murder in 1975.

[1210] Whoa.

[1211] In a trial that lasted over six weeks, the government introduced over a thousand evidentiary items, and at the trial, Helena denied the chick, the crazy drug, chick young person.

[1212] I wasn't there.

[1213] I don't know what happened.

[1214] Denied everything.

[1215] Later, she's diagnosed with schizoid personality.

[1216] Yeah.

[1217] Which is sad.

[1218] McDonnell, Jeffrey McDonald is convicted of all three counts of murder in less than seven hours.

[1219] Wow.

[1220] Yeah.

[1221] All right.

[1222] So let's talk about what really fucking happened.

[1223] Okay.

[1224] Ready for the same story as above.

[1225] Yeah.

[1226] As the beginning, but what actually happened.

[1227] And here's why we know, and this is fucking crazy.

[1228] Okay, first of all, a lot of this is from the McDonald case.

[1229] Facts .com by Phil Callahan.

[1230] This guy is just a civilian.

[1231] He's a fucking web sleuth and he's like dedicated his life to this.

[1232] Yeah.

[1233] And he is like, here's what happened based on the fact that and this is so fucking crazy to me. All four members of the household, Jeffrey, Colette, Kristen and Kimberly, they all had different blood types which is a statistical anomaly.

[1234] Okay.

[1235] Like in a family that doesn't fucking happen.

[1236] And that means that they were able to trace what happened room by room because of the blood types.

[1237] Oh, I just got the weirdest chills.

[1238] You know what it made me think of and I wrote this down?

[1239] So you know, like, in, like, Who Frame Roger Rabbit or those like old -timey things are like, here's how to do the two -step.

[1240] And they put like a footprint here and a footprint here.

[1241] And then one goes back on over here.

[1242] It's like that with blood.

[1243] Oh, my God.

[1244] Are you ready for this?

[1245] Yeah.

[1246] It's fucked up.

[1247] Okay.

[1248] It's a fucked up dance.

[1249] So here's what really happened.

[1250] I mean, according to everything.

[1251] In the early morning hours, February 17th, 1970, Colette and Jeffrey McDonnell get into a heated argument in the master bedroom.

[1252] Jeffrey at the time was taking amphetamines to lose weight, 70s.

[1253] What were those?

[1254] Meth.

[1255] Right?

[1256] That's right.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] Yeah.

[1259] And hadn't slept for 24 hours at least.

[1260] So he got out of his goddamn mind.

[1261] Right.

[1262] In the previous weeks, Colette had been upset that Jeffrey was planning on leaving for a long time to be the doctor for the army boxing team, even though she was having a really difficult pregnancy.

[1263] And she was going to night school for psychology.

[1264] So this chick was a badass.

[1265] And he was kind of a narcissist so his wife not wanting to stay at home and be, you know, him having to stay home and take care of his kids at night when she went to school, do the dishes, put them to bed, did not jibe.

[1266] Yeah.

[1267] Is that the right?

[1268] Yeah.

[1269] Let's get that word wrong.

[1270] Also, the issue with their daughter, wedding the bed, was a big deal with them.

[1271] He got really pissed off about it.

[1272] She'd even brought it up in one of her psychology classes.

[1273] And I was just guessing maybe he got more angry that night that she wet his side of the bed.

[1274] Right.

[1275] Right?

[1276] Like not just her bed.

[1277] She wet his side of the bed.

[1278] Something fucking snapped.

[1279] And at some point, Jeffrey punches Colette in the face.

[1280] who then, and this is all based on blood evidence as well as the fibers from the pajamas.

[1281] Right.

[1282] Colette grabs a hairbrush, hits Jeffrey above his left eye.

[1283] These are also based on the bruises and shit, sorry.

[1284] They wrestle and Jeffrey's pajama top gets torn in multiple places, and then he hits Colette in the face a second time and grabs what we remember as the wooden club from earlier what that turns out to be is that uh there was this wooden this piece of wood holding up a corner portion of the master bed footboard because you know how sometimes it gets wobbly you jam something underneath there to hold it straight he fucking grabs whatever that is when he's on the floor and he fucking thrusts it like jabs at her uh of one end of that into her chest and that's where that cruise came from like a wooden steak because she probably had something she was trying to hit with him so he couldn't come close to her oh okay yeah exactly like i wouldn't say but he doesn't puncture her he just like he just hits her with it hits her with it like a javelin so at this point then Kimberly the daughter enters the room here's her parents fighting maybe um and jeffry turns around and hits her with the club on the left side of her face calette then screams jeff why are you doing this which is what he said he heard from the couch but it's a it's so loud that he thinks Maybe the neighbors heard it.

[1285] So he includes it in his story, but he turns it into, Jeff, why are they doing this?

[1286] Right.

[1287] And then Kimberly falls into the floor near the entrance at the master bedroom.

[1288] And we know this because there's her blood spattered around that area.

[1289] Colette then grabs a knife from her side table and she slashes Jeffrey's abdomen, resulting in that upside down v laceration on his abdomen.

[1290] And then Jeffrey retaliates with two blows with the club to Collette.

[1291] let's head knocking her unconscious.

[1292] At this point, Jeffrey strips the bed, picks Kimberly up, who's unconscious, picks her from the bed sheet, and carries her back to her bedroom.

[1293] He places her into a sleeping position.

[1294] He, at that point, leaves 14 pajama threads under her bed covers when he does that.

[1295] A 20 .5 inch yarn of his bed clothes is found on top of Kimberly's pillow, and then this is, you know, he at this point supposedly would have had his pajamas off by then.

[1296] So the fact that his pajama threads are all over these place shows that this is what he actually did because they should be underneath her even if he did come in there.

[1297] He then uses the club to strike Kimberly with two blows on the right side of her face.

[1298] And when he does that, you know, he picked the club up and hit her twice, casts blood onto the ceiling in those blows.

[1299] And that blood had both Kimberly and Colette's blood mixed in, which means we know that he hit her first, hit Colette first.

[1300] Then he covers Kimberly's body with her blanket and bed covers.

[1301] Then he gets a knife from the kitchen and he leaves behind minute traces of blood all over the kitchen.

[1302] And the pattern shows that he was pacing the kitchen.

[1303] One thinks trying to figure out what the fuck to do.

[1304] Grabbs a knife, paces the kitchen back and forth in a panic.

[1305] Probably they don't think it was premeditated.

[1306] probably was like, what do I do now?

[1307] What do I do now?

[1308] What do I do now?

[1309] Then he goes into Kristen's room and this is the other daughter who's sleeping, not part of this at all.

[1310] And he stabs are in the chest as she lay in her bed.

[1311] And the wounds indicate that Kristen was probably sleeping at this point in her pajama top.

[1312] The wounds indicate that it had been lifted before she was stabbed.

[1313] And the position of the wounds show that it was almost as if he was trying to identify.

[1314] identify the location of vital organs.

[1315] Because she got stabbed in these specific places that a surgeon would know would bear the most, but that would do the most damage.

[1316] Right.

[1317] Like he's trying to be efficient in killing his daughter.

[1318] Right.

[1319] At some point she wakes up to try to shield herself because she had cuts and bruises on her hands.

[1320] And because of that pajama fiber is found under her fingernail.

[1321] He then stabs her in the back.

[1322] and places her, places his daughter back into a sleeping position on her bed and he places her favorite pink security blanket in her arms.

[1323] Can you fucking deal?

[1324] He exits the room and then when he's, he's like bringing the bed sheets to go maybe wash them, but here's Colette stagger into Kristen's room.

[1325] He hears her go in there to try to protect her daughter, follows her in with the club and he hits Colette in the face.

[1326] Colette places her arms in front of her face and an attempt to ward off the blows and her arms, which is why her arms are bruised and shattered and she gets hit twice more.

[1327] Then he sets, so then he sets his club, the club down on Kristen's bed, which is why there are traces at Kimberly's blood on the bed because the club he had hit Kimberly with was then placed on the bed.

[1328] It's insane.

[1329] You're trying to tell it's other people, but there's such a basic fucking obvious reason that it's not true, which is why it's insane to me that people have websites dedicated to his innocence.

[1330] Well, right, because back then, nobody knew anything about any of this blood, the DNA and the blood type and all that stuff didn't exist.

[1331] All of this shows that it's a panic.

[1332] This isn't planned.

[1333] This is a fuck, what am I going to do?

[1334] Because then, after all of this, he goes into the living room and he reads the Esquire magazine article.

[1335] And we know this because there's a bloody smudge on the edge of the magazine that then the blood belonged to Colette and Kimberly.

[1336] He reads the article.

[1337] Then he tosses his glasses aside.

[1338] They landed under the window in the living room and we know this because on those glasses there's a mark of Kristen's blood.

[1339] And that throwing the glasses aside to me is such a fucking definitive action of, well, now I know what I have to fucking do.

[1340] You know, I read this article about how the Tate murders, you know, were blood -crazed hippies.

[1341] Well, now I fucking know I have to finish this and make it look like that.

[1342] It's also, as a person who was on speed for a year.

[1343] Uh -huh.

[1344] I've done acid and I've done speed and that.

[1345] For weight loss reasons.

[1346] Oh, right.

[1347] The idea that you would be able to read anything in that circumstance, specifically, where he's just murdered his family and then he sits down to read an article to me is like really indicative of the kind of psychopath he was because that's can you imagine like when you get into a fender bender how freaked out you are and now like you're just kind of imagine in the middle of all of that you sit down and read something where you what would be how would you even take anything in well here's what I'm wondering is if he had read it earlier that evening or whenever because she had been at school that evening so I wonder if he had read through it earlier or not even thought about it and then these things started happening and he was like wait how did they make this look like maybe he probably hadn't written the word pig yet in blood and he was like maybe fueled on by the fact that he hadn't slept and had read this stuff about these murders and kind of was fueled by that and then he went back to the magazine to be like how can I make this look like a cover up he wasn't going to read he was going to find a way to cover this up right get like the what are the exact details He's basically being a doctor about it where I was like, well, if I'm going to copy this, I'm going to copy it correctly.

[1348] And I'm going to do it in the way that's going to convince everybody.

[1349] But I mean, it's just so cold.

[1350] It's like he's a fucking reptile.

[1351] A total reptile.

[1352] And then like another argument people had on Reddit, which I can back this up, is when you're on acid, you can't fucking kill people.

[1353] Like, killing people on acid is not a thing.

[1354] okay then he tips over the living room coffee table to show that there's been a struggle where he supposedly was sleeping but there's a lot of evidence that shows it wasn't which you can listen to in another podcast okay so then he uses a bed spread to take colette's body back to the master bedroom and in the process leaves three bloody footprints in Colette's blood as he leaves Kristen's room and the fucking crazy thing about this is that they can tell that he was carrying something heavy by the way the footprints are mashed into the carpet.

[1355] Oh.

[1356] Isn't that fucking crazy?

[1357] Oh, because it's pile carpet?

[1358] Like, they can measure it.

[1359] Like, how heavy was the footprint?

[1360] Right?

[1361] That's amazing.

[1362] I know.

[1363] So here's, we're almost done.

[1364] Okay.

[1365] He puts Collette on the master bedroom floor and unknowingly sets her body down on top of 24 pajama fibers underneath her body, even though he said he put them on top.

[1366] he hits her in the head again and then he goes into Kimberly's room with a knife and flicks more of her injuries with the knife then he takes the ice pick into Kristen's room inflicts more wounds on her then he goes back in and stabs Colette in the chest and neck with a knife and stabs her 21 times after he had put down his pajama top on top of her so at that point he puts his pajama top on top of her stabs her 21 times and when the prosecutors were in court they were they were able to show that the pajama top the way it was laid down matched every single one of those 21 marks so he had put it on top of her as if to cover her so he didn't have to see himself stabbing his wife and 21 of those 21 marks went through that pajama top so he said that they were on his arms and he was fending off blows from the people on the that's why those 21 marks when Marks were there.

[1367] And it perfectly matches his wife's wounds.

[1368] Insanely fuck.

[1369] Totally insane.

[1370] Also, just this idea of a crazed man walking from room to room killing and re -killing and re -killing his family.

[1371] It's horrifying.

[1372] That and like he had never, apparently, they were in an apartment building.

[1373] So no one was ever like, they had never argued before.

[1374] They had never heard them fight.

[1375] They had some fucked up problems with their relationship.

[1376] He had had multiple affairs, like he had been fucking 15 women.

[1377] men up until that point, like, they were having big marital problems, but they had never fought.

[1378] So this is a guy who is whacked out of his mind and fucking snaps doing this.

[1379] It's not a, it's not a methodical killer.

[1380] It's someone who is like, here's what needs to be done and does it.

[1381] He's over the edge for sure.

[1382] Yeah.

[1383] He's over the edge.

[1384] Right.

[1385] And so the Sam Shepard case is really similar.

[1386] Okay.

[1387] This one was after Sam Shepard.

[1388] Yeah.

[1389] Sam Shepard is in the late 50s.

[1390] Yeah.

[1391] Or at least I see, yeah.

[1392] So you probably read about that one too, right?

[1393] Yes.

[1394] Yeah.

[1395] And then I did another one, another family and I, or another murder of a family that was in Fort Bragg in 85, that mirrored this one a lot too.

[1396] Whoa.

[1397] Yeah, but it wasn't the dad.

[1398] Oh, okay.

[1399] Oh, God, what was it called?

[1400] Summer Lane.

[1401] Yeah, the Summer Lane murders.

[1402] We did it before.

[1403] Anyways, okay, almost said.

[1404] But blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1405] And.

[1406] every um sorry okay summer lane murders weren't that ones where they came to see the puppies yes i hate that one so much yes i don't know what episode that is but it's it's happening i'd say 47 yes what if karen was yes what if you were a savant just for a podcast i'm like beautiful mine but just for podcast episodes um stabs in the chest line it up okay so then he walks to the back door with the weapons tosses them into the into the murder bush into the one bush what do we call it the murder bush yeah murder bush goes back in the master bush goes back in the master bedroom uses the surgeon's glove to write the word pig on the headboard of the master bed there's three fibers I know three fibers from the pajamas found near the left corner the four the footboard and one fiber found near the headboard so it's clearly him while he was wait that must have been okay something's going on anyways then he obtained a disposable scalpel blade from the hallway closet because he won't even fucking stab himself with the ice pick stabs himself in the right side of his chest with a scalpel blade and then i go to reddit and reddit says someone on reddit is really smart and they say it is exactly where the doctor makes an incision to place a chest tube um to place a chest tube so this is the spot that we and he was like an emergency technician this is where we we cut someone to place a chest to because there is almost zero risk of harming the patient.

[1407] So he collapses his lung, but in a place that's not dangerous.

[1408] He thinks that the severity of this wound will make people think I didn't do it myself.

[1409] Yes.

[1410] Okay.

[1411] But then he is assured that he won't be hurt in any way.

[1412] Heard enough to make people not suspect him.

[1413] Oh.

[1414] He then gathers himself for a little bit and then he phones authorities at 3 .40 a .m. And, 3 .42 a .m. He did it twice.

[1415] So that's what really happened.

[1416] Jeffrey McDonald is now 68 and he remarried and is still in prison.

[1417] Oh, 68 years old might be from an article.

[1418] I didn't look at the day.

[1419] But he's, he's an older man now, but he's still in prison.

[1420] He's married.

[1421] When you said remarried though, I was like, sorry, did he get off?

[1422] Holy shit.

[1423] No, he's in prison and remarried in prison.

[1424] Okay, good.

[1425] One of those people.

[1426] Sure.

[1427] He has never wavered from his claim that he didn't kill his wife and their children.

[1428] And he says he'll never apply for parole because that would require an admission of guilt, even though he's up for parole, which means he won't be eligible for release until the year 2071.

[1429] But he is still fighting for a new trial based on the fact that this woman, Helena, said she was the drug -crazed hippie.

[1430] And there's videos of her online.

[1431] You can find all kinds of videos from this.

[1432] Of her just going, no. Of her saying, I did it.

[1433] I don't know.

[1434] Maybe I did do it.

[1435] Go watch Fatal Visions.

[1436] It's amazing.

[1437] There's so many interviews with him in prison.

[1438] He reminds you of Ted Bundy meets fucking Robert Durst.

[1439] Yeah.

[1440] It's fucked up.

[1441] So that's Jeffrey McDonald, who murdered Colette, Kimberly, and Kristen.

[1442] Oh, wow.

[1443] That was amazing.

[1444] Thank you.

[1445] It's so satisfying because the other one was really frustrating because it's, The other one was so similar, the, sorry.

[1446] Sam Shepard one was so similar, but so mysterious.

[1447] Whereas this one is like, it's parallel, but then it's the worst version.

[1448] It's almost like this one is from someone who's even more narcissistic because he didn't even come up with a good, there's no plan that's good enough to fucking make it seem like he didn't do it.

[1449] No. There's nothing.

[1450] That timeline, and it's, it's, it's, if you read it specifically on that website that I found, let me see here.

[1451] The McDonald casefax .com.

[1452] If you read it on that by Philip, Philip Callahan, it's even more specific and says what blood is where, what brain matter is where.

[1453] There's a drop of blood here.

[1454] There's a drop of blood here.

[1455] This blood is so and so's.

[1456] This blood is this person's.

[1457] Like it's, there's a hundred more like pieces of blood evidence and fiber evidence.

[1458] that have there's no way to explain them away other than the fact that he did it right also it just popped in my head because I'm I can't get over a father stabbing his daughters yeah who are so young but if you're a surgeon that kind of interaction with the human body isn't that weird to you because you do it a lot of times in a life -saving way so like the body is just not a human body to you yeah well they say that thing about like I'm sorry to insult a bunch of surgeons but that surgeons have a harder they are not oh well they this is a thing I'm not and this is going out to Colin clank well you started it here and random just that um well the brain is different because it's not something you see every day or you know what I mean but like the thing of where it's like if you are able to cut into a human body every single day and not think of it like and not be freaked out by it, you have a, you have a really, a brain that's really good at disassociating itself from other people.

[1459] Yes, is how I'll say it.

[1460] Yeah, yeah, yeah, from that any kind of, it's a different thing for you.

[1461] Yeah, it's not, it's not a human anymore.

[1462] But that still doesn't explain the fact that they were his goddamn daughters.

[1463] I don't know that, I'm so offended.

[1464] But the thing of like, the people who are narcissists who think of their children as a, a part of themselves an extension of themselves so he's not killing his daughter he's he's doing what he needs to do right that's it's it's part of him it's his property he could do whatever he wants with it oh fuck him how is it and I'm not a parent clearly but how is it I mean look at my body how is it how is it any easier I can't say this right I could never kill a child even though I'm not a its parent how is it easier for someone else to do it it's not that's just that's why he is this anomaly and this freak and this thing that we want to look at and talk about a child at all little on your own oh i know horrifying jeffman macdonald repeatedly okay um wow that was great uh you need to go to the improv right now to i can't i won't make it plug your show uh What time is it?

[1465] Can I just say this right now?

[1466] Guy Branham.

[1467] 25 minutes later already.

[1468] Sorry.

[1469] Sorry, sure, right.

[1470] Guy Brannum, we love you.

[1471] Somebody posted a picture of themselves standing outside the improv today.

[1472] I'm going to make it at the end.

[1473] You're going to blow them away.

[1474] Let's just do a quick thing you like this week.

[1475] Go to Vegas tomorrow for Vince's birthday.

[1476] Super excited.

[1477] Oh, nice.

[1478] Did I already tell my Vegas story?

[1479] That you went and saw a magic mother fucking.

[1480] Magic Mike.

[1481] Did I tell that, though?

[1482] online.

[1483] Did I tell it live?

[1484] No, you didn't.

[1485] Guys, if you are near Las Vegas or you're going anytime soon like me, I'll go.

[1486] One thousand percent go see the magic mic strip show at Hard Rock.

[1487] It is so good.

[1488] This is not sarcasm.

[1489] I'm not being sarcastic.

[1490] You can tell because of how deep and resonating my voices.

[1491] If I'm being sarcastic, it goes up like this.

[1492] It's so good and the dancers are amazing and the show is really cool and very modern and a woman is the host, and it's very much about women getting what they want.

[1493] It's really cool.

[1494] It's very sexy.

[1495] The dancing is incredible.

[1496] Can I take Vince?

[1497] Totally.

[1498] But, yeah, there was like probably five guys in the audience.

[1499] What if I go out there?

[1500] And I'm like, where's Vince?

[1501] You said I went to the bathroom to have an hour ago.

[1502] And then it comes out on stage and he's in one of the dancers.

[1503] And he's like, happy anniversary or whatever, does a whole dance.

[1504] The dancing is so good.

[1505] and just their acrobatts, their gymnasts, their dancers, their musicians.

[1506] Amazing.

[1507] It's crazy.

[1508] That's it.

[1509] Triple threat.

[1510] Thanks, everybody.

[1511] Thanks for listening, you guys.

[1512] We really appreciate everything you do for us.

[1513] Stay sexy.

[1514] And don't get murdered.

[1515] Bye.