#31 - Jason "Mayhem" Miller

[0] Zam, ladies and gentlemen, we are live, God damn it.

[1] We are live with the man, Jason, Mayhem Miller.

[2] Yes.

[3] Of Strike Force fame.

[4] Bullie beatdown fame, for sure, man. I can't go anywhere.

[5] Well, of Strike Force fame, too, man. You fought for the fucking title.

[6] Yeah, it's true.

[7] But, you know, like, strike force is in the process of building.

[8] Like, I can feel them, like, getting the ball rolling.

[9] Before we even talk, we have to thank our sponsor.

[10] We're sponsored by the Fleshlight.

[11] I will be taking all my...

[12] That's the butthole version.

[13] I think that's What other version is there There's a mouth version And a JJ version Now do the mouth Come in different races Dude that's a fucking Excellent point Because I was saying How come there's no black ones Because all the vaginas are pink If you go to the website We gotta talk to them about that And the funny thing is the dude Who hooked us up The dude who started this whole deal Our friend Chris Seems like he's of mixed heritage Right doesn't he?

[14] He seems like he's got a bunch of things going on A little bit of black A little bit of white Someone's had some black something somewhere along the line let's represent he's a spiritual traveler you can tell by just talking to that guy he's a cool dude i can't believe he doesn't have like indian dick he's in we're gonna have him on the podcast if he'll do it he's i like that guy a lot who actually makes the molds of you know because they make them out of girls vaginas like porno stars they like they literally mold their vagina like the outside they stick a flashlight up in her and take a mold of it no but they like put i guess they put something on it you know and they make an impression of it yeah but Not every one of those is an official vagina.

[15] Or maybe there's just some fat chick who's got her vagina.

[16] She's like some designer.

[17] She went to art school for three years.

[18] And then she goes, puts the stuff on there.

[19] Like, now everybody will get some of this.

[20] My point about the fleshite has always been.

[21] It does not have to look like a vagina because I'm not looking at it.

[22] I'm just shoving it on my dick.

[23] You know what?

[24] I got a free fake vagina one time.

[25] Right, but you stare at it while you're fucking.

[26] I'm like, wow, that looks like a real vagina.

[27] There's no way you're going to be turned on.

[28] If it was a real vagina, okay, why is it by itself?

[29] Where's its fucking body?

[30] You know what I mean?

[31] That's creepy.

[32] Have you just fucking a vagina?

[33] Hey man. Someone took an apple cord or some chick and just pulled it off and that's what you're banging?

[34] Well, I mean, we're talking personality -wise.

[35] Most chicks that I've ever dated are pretty much, you know, just a vagina.

[36] I just see that part only.

[37] Oh, you've had some cool chicks.

[38] Well, yeah, that's true.

[39] But, you know, I've gone through a rash of the psychopaths.

[40] Well, that's the lifestyle, though.

[41] You know, that's how you're living.

[42] You're a fucking wild man, like, professional.

[43] There's a lot of people out there claiming wild man. Jason Mayhem Miller is a real fucking wild man, all right?

[44] I can't help it.

[45] Just shut the fuck up.

[46] You're talking about a dude who, as long as I've known him, has been living in hotels.

[47] He doesn't even, he's never, he just got a fucking house.

[48] Now he has to because he's a goddamn TV star.

[49] Yeah, yeah.

[50] Well, I have to just because, like, I feel like when you're, I'm damn near 30.

[51] Like, I better, like, buy a house.

[52] Yeah.

[53] Well, you're a TV star now, man. You're a legit TV star.

[54] You're the host of bully fucking beatdown.

[55] That's true.

[56] That's a giant show, man. That is a popular fucking show.

[57] A cultural fan.

[58] I'm just waiting to get made fun of.

[59] I'm like, please, somebody, Saturday Night Live, make fun of this.

[60] It'll happen.

[61] It'll happen.

[62] It should.

[63] I mean, look, they can do that to Anthony Bourdain.

[64] They can do that to you.

[65] Do you go to any like MTV parties where you have to hang out with the hills?

[66] Nah, yo, no, they don't let me around those guys.

[67] And they separate me from Jersey Shore dudes.

[68] I really think they're afraid.

[69] They separate you from, but you might smack them around.

[70] Yeah, I might be like, ah, and then I'll just ruin my career because I'll be beaten up.

[71] This is the thing about mayhem.

[72] I've known mayhem for a long time now and mayhem is one of the coolest guys I've ever met he's a down dude he's totally straight you never know there's no there's no guessing where you're coming from with mayhem but that said homie's got a switch and every now and then he just decides to he just decides to hit it sky bar this is exactly what I was talking about we got talked about it we were at the sky bar this is classic mayhem and granted this is years ago before he had mature you were very young about that we were like you know what it was Because you were like 22.

[73] I got bored so easily.

[74] Yeah.

[75] Well, you get crazy.

[76] You get hyped.

[77] You know, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[78] That's what makes you a great fighter.

[79] But when you got, we're at the sky bar.

[80] And we're just having a good fucking time, all right?

[81] We got a buzz on.

[82] We're laughing and telling jokes.

[83] It's like mayhem and Brian is there and Ari was there.

[84] No, it's just me and you and mayhem.

[85] I think there was one other guy.

[86] No, no, no. Because I remember me and you hit around the corner and was like, oh, my God, what the fuck is?

[87] I thought we had one other dude with us.

[88] Let's get back to the story from there.

[89] No, no. Okay.

[90] Anyway, bottom line.

[91] Okay, say it's all just us three.

[92] So we're having a great time, laughing our asses off, and Mayhem gets hyped and decides to skydive on this bed filled with people drinking.

[93] These people, they have these like the way Skybarers, sky bar is pretty dope.

[94] It's got this killer view, right?

[95] It's at the Mondrian.

[96] It's got this killer view, and they have these beds laying around, and people just chill on these beds, and they lie down and drink.

[97] Well, these people are just lying down, feet up, a hard day at work, you know what I'm saying?

[98] All girls.

[99] All girls.

[100] All girls.

[101] Let me tell the story.

[102] Okay.

[103] you got the you got the basics rogan told his version here's my version in my head okay i'm standing there we already been to the skybor the day before i went with you the day before and i had a blast like it was like girl this time it was like some people there but it wasn't popping off right we were talking to having a good time but it wasn't like it wasn't like the hollywood party that you that you imagine right and i'd never been to hollywood that was like my first time okay so i wanted the hollywood party like i was like where's all the hot bitches, you know, like, what is this?

[104] So, but, you know, you guys are used to it, so you were like, whatever.

[105] Me, I was getting bored.

[106] Like, I was like, man, where's the chicks?

[107] Yesterday, where I was talking to chicks?

[108] And then I'm looking around, I'm like, and then as I'm looking around, there's a lull in our conversation.

[109] And I look over, and there's a hot chick, and she's looking at me from the bench.

[110] Now, be it, I was on the second level of this little area, and we're sitting there talking, there's a low in our conversation.

[111] I looked back at that chick, she was smiling.

[112] Something in my head said.

[113] Jason, she wants you to jump on there.

[114] Now, I have extensive experience jumping on a couch.

[115] I had a little sister all growing up.

[116] I could run and jump perfect and land perfect on the couch.

[117] As I ran and jumped, in midair, I went, damn, this is a bad idea.

[118] Like, why did I do this?

[119] But too late, I could not take it back.

[120] so I jump and smash into these all these hot chicks like model chicks and like a bunch of rich dudes wearing Rolexes one guy with spiky hair he had the foahawk before people had foahawks and I smashed it, knocked the drinks everywhere and whatever and man I popped up like Bruce Lee like jump back up like whoa and I was like that was stupid and I saw the bouncers running and I just went I know I know I know I'm sorry I know I know I know and then so this is my first Hollywood thing and I was hanging out with the famous Joe Rogan and I was like, damn, Joe Roker's going to hate me, man. Joe Rogen's going to hate me. My phone rang, and I saw Joe Rogan, man. I was like, oh, God, I answered the phone, and he's like, you were laughing so hard that I was like, oh, cool, it's cool.

[121] That was awesome.

[122] You've got to know the difference between someone who's capable of doing crazy shit, but is a cool dude, and someone who's just fucking crazy and annoying.

[123] There's a huge difference, and you're just a dude who's a cool.

[124] cool dude who will do some crazy shit.

[125] But you get labeled in with the other group all the time.

[126] You get underestimated.

[127] In my opinion, you know, and it was really funny as a fighter as well.

[128] The EA game, they put you at a really low skill level.

[129] Really?

[130] And it was a fucking hilarious video.

[131] No, no, no, no. That's on the internet.

[132] There's a hilarious video of him on the internet, punking the EA guys.

[133] He pretends that he's fucking pissed off because they put him in a low level of skill.

[134] No way.

[135] He looks so good.

[136] Never saw that.

[137] Dude, it's so good.

[138] Find it, find it on YouTube, Google it, what is, do you know the name of the video?

[139] I don't know.

[140] Oh, just Mayhem.

[141] Mayhem, Punks, EA sports.

[142] Freak Out or whatever.

[143] Mayam freak out, something like that.

[144] It's on the message board, too.

[145] Okay, here it is.

[146] I don't know.

[147] Half a million views or something.

[148] Super quick.

[149] I don't know.

[150] Half million views.

[151] Brian, you got echo.

[152] Man, heck.

[153] Peace up.

[154] Wait, I can sit back a little bit.

[155] So, here I am, whatever.

[156] So, just talk us through this for the people.

[157] A lot of people just listen to this on iTunes.

[158] This is just the setup whole deal.

[159] We went to EA sports.

[160] We went to EA sports and it was like a dope, like, cool.

[161] Like, they had a ball in the middle of the joint.

[162] And actually, one of the, this developer is in on this joke.

[163] Okay.

[164] He's in on it.

[165] So people knew what you were doing.

[166] So, so if you notice in this video, he gets fucking slapped around a little.

[167] Here it goes.

[168] Now he starts realizing.

[169] Let me show you a few more.

[170] He's realizing his characters are low skill level now.

[171] Trying to be as realistic as we can.

[172] You know, watch the acting.

[173] No, man, what the fuck, bro?

[174] Here, go.

[175] Arms in this.

[176] What?

[177] What's me?

[178] What's wrong?

[179] No, who's in charge of this fucking thing, man?

[180] See, watch the buildup.

[181] Tell what's wrong.

[182] It's a video game, right?

[183] No, no, go back to my shit.

[184] Y 'all, no, it's a fucking bullshit, man. No, man, you're fucking, that's what you think.

[185] That's what you think.

[186] You're fucking laughing.

[187] You think it's fuck.

[188] Hey, motherfucker.

[189] Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[190] No, that guy's very straight.

[191] Man, you don't fucking do this shit.

[192] I'm in my coach.

[193] And you told me to do this.

[194] No disrespect.

[195] No disrespect.

[196] I'm just fucking with you.

[197] There was one.

[198] Okay, kidding.

[199] There was this one dude who was talking who was really, he sounded really freaked out.

[200] When you got violent and physical, he wasn't in on it.

[201] No, no. Oh, my bad.

[202] No, no, he wasn't in on it.

[203] Because that was real.

[204] There was like, the whole floor.

[205] The whole floor of people came to the door and everyone was like acting like they're gonna do something.

[206] I'm like, whoa!

[207] Listen to that guy's voice.

[208] Can you rewind it to that one spot with that one guy, wigs?

[209] This guy, this is some primal shit, dude.

[210] You got to listen to his voice, the terror in his voice.

[211] What?

[212] Foot speed.

[213] What's wrong?

[214] No, we don't know.

[215] It's in charge of this fucking thing, man. Tom, what's wrong?

[216] It's a big deal.

[217] It's a video game.

[218] Listen for the dude.

[219] No, no, no. Go back.

[220] It's physical.

[221] Y 'all, no, that's a fucking bullshit, man. No, man. You're fucking, that's what you think.

[222] That's what you fucking think.

[223] You're fucking laughing.

[224] You think it's fucking, hey, motherfucker.

[225] Hey, man. That guy.

[226] That guy, that guy sounds like a dude who's getting attacked by a bear.

[227] Scared, yeah.

[228] Well, you know, I mean, and I never think about it, you know, and I have no, like, fear of physical altercation.

[229] I'm sorry.

[230] Is that bad?

[231] I have no fear of physical altercation.

[232] So to me, like, I'm like, okay, whatever.

[233] It's a dude.

[234] you know, like, and I don't really think about the consequences anyway.

[235] Like, I'm like, well, if I get beat up, I get beat up, you know.

[236] Did you think, well, the designer wasn't going to beat you up for, I mean, he wouldn't even attempt that for because you're mad at him for that.

[237] Like, yeah, you think my game sucks.

[238] Fuck you.

[239] Like, what did you think he was going to attack you?

[240] That's ridiculous.

[241] No, no, no, no, no, no dogs in that race.

[242] You had no worries.

[243] That was very funny, though.

[244] It was very funny.

[245] I'm glad you enjoyed my web video, Joe Rogan.

[246] I enjoyed the shit out of it, Mayhem Miller.

[247] I enjoyed the shit out of it.

[248] Now, we can't have you on without talking about that Strike Force brawl.

[249] Oh, yeah.

[250] That is the most ridiculous shit I have ever seen on television.

[251] This is one of the problems, and we talked about it on the show, right after it happened, with organizations that they don't have enough experience yet.

[252] There's little things they haven't covered, little things like watching the doors.

[253] Like, you can't just let anybody in.

[254] And the UFC knows that, so they have people watching the doors.

[255] Oh, yeah, it's like trying to get into the cage of UFC, man. Yeah, it's just, there's just, but there's just like a little whole.

[256] missing in their game.

[257] And the whole missing was you got to wash the door.

[258] You can't just let anybody in the cage.

[259] They just fucked up.

[260] Well, you know, and I thought it was an appropriate time to get into the cage.

[261] Oh yeah, this is smart.

[262] Oh, yeah, for sure.

[263] What's the worst that could happen?

[264] Well, the worst that happened.

[265] So.

[266] Well, it wouldn't have been bad.

[267] It wouldn't have been bad.

[268] What happened was you came in and you like interrupted in the middle of his speech.

[269] Yeah.

[270] Here's how that went.

[271] He looked at you.

[272] I saw what happened.

[273] He looked at you guys made eye contact and then you just went with it yeah well because it was like awkward at that point because i i i didn't mean to step into his frame and then he looked back at me and me and me and uh me and shields kind of had made peace already because we're both cutting weight at the same time and we're in the same area and we both are like oh and we're like we kind of looked at each other like yeah we're doing it again like what's up dog like that like we're like all right it's cool yeah you beat me in that last fight give me no shot now i'll you know i'll kick your ass next time you know there's mutual respect I respect him.

[274] He respect me. And so we kind of made our piece, and at the way in, we still were cool.

[275] We're like, what up?

[276] Then I won my fight and knocked the guy out, which this would make a lot more sense if on the video, I mean, on the CBS broadcast, they showed my fight, but they had five, 25 -minute fights and went over their time slot.

[277] Anyway.

[278] They went way, way, way, way, way, way over their time slot.

[279] They went over by like over an hour, right?

[280] Wow, an hour.

[281] That's his bad planning right there.

[282] Again, you know, they're just, you know, they're just.

[283] new at the M &A game.

[284] It's a new thing for them.

[285] Anyway, so I go in there, and I didn't mean to step in the frame.

[286] I stepped in a frame with it, oh, whoops, I'm already, and he noticed me at that same moment.

[287] I was like, well, I got to talk now.

[288] Right.

[289] And he, because he asked me, well, you want your rematch now?

[290] And I was like, he said that.

[291] He said that off the mic.

[292] And I went, yeah, where's my rematch, buddy?

[293] Whoops, because then I just proceeded to get stocked and dog piled.

[294] And the funniest part is, is imagine if I just want to, fight and my camp was in there okay my crew if we jumped on somebody they would be fucking hurt i got up like ha ha ha oh my god like i didn't even get hurt on that how did i not even get hurt you know like i was shocked i didn't even have a scratch on me and and during the little scrab i shot a double leg on somebody because i was like man let me just take someone to the ground and then i can probably you know get my way out of this and and because i was thinking at this moment you got to when you fight and my adrenaline had already been pumped up earlier that night I wasn't even hype when that was happening I was like whoa oh my god and I get on the bottom of a dog pile and I'm like oh I'm getting jumped on national television right now kicked in the head and I didn't feel that and I and then as as I'm thinking in my head man I'm getting jumped on national television the freaking idiot Gus Johnson goes gentlemen this is national television I'm like ha ha no shit yeah what's up with that dude that dude he to me is the best commentator in the fucking you he's a big marshaler you're entitled to your opinion sir you damn right you know what Joe Rogan got nothing Mike Chiavello are you fucking kidding me that guy's Australian Gus Johnson all day he sounds like a dude who's in a mold he just fits into a mold and starts talking like a sports guy I think ma 'am just got me pregnant I wrote I'm a little hype I wrote a preface for a book, this is kind of like a college textbook.

[295] It's a great book.

[296] It's a, I can't remember.

[297] About what?

[298] Anyway, it's about the mentality of fighters and he did case studies with all interviews with every...

[299] Gus Johnson did this?

[300] No, no, no, no. Not Gus Johnson.

[301] Come on.

[302] How's that guy going to write?

[303] A friend of mine, he wrote this book and...

[304] What's the book called?

[305] I don't know.

[306] Wait a minute.

[307] Wait a minute.

[308] It's coming to me. It's too complicated.

[309] That's the problem.

[310] If it was just like fighting or fighting an art you know it was it was about it's actually you know a good book i don't know look it up red band you know how to do so i should write book in google and what else fighting and i'm sure it's on amazon or something like that mayhem preface is on amazon is it you never know man yeah anyway i wrote this thing i wrote this thing where at the beginning and i i drew the parallel oh buck masgator probably oh don't come here we have a tech technical difficulties with the wiener dog come on hot dog dog yeah you got a my cat's in the room everybody my cats hide in the closet the weena dog found him oh yeah we got goddamn problems what kind of a fucking professional studios is yeah but i had the uh buddy you can't go down there come on here hey colpito ladies and gentlemen we apologize but uh anyway it's got to be a pretty big coincidence if if he just he just sorry guys you know turn my level so much better yell Like this?

[311] Yo, yo.

[312] Check it out.

[313] I'm on the Brogan podcast, son.

[314] I just know I hold it.

[315] But, uh, we are the white.

[316] So, anyway, for the people who haven't seen this, this is what happened.

[317] There was a, the, the fight is over.

[318] There's a lot of people that.

[319] Google, Google number one for two days in a row.

[320] There's people that listen to this podcast that don't know shit about M .M. Oh, my bad.

[321] There's, there's most of the people that listen to this podcast, I would say probably 50 % at least they're MMA fans.

[322] I know.

[323] I love it too.

[324] That's not what I'm saying.

[325] Comedy fans.

[326] They're more comedy fans.

[327] I know.

[328] People driving to work.

[329] Just for the people who are not MMA fans, we just have to clean it.

[330] Look, he's going to there again.

[331] Get her.

[332] Get over here.

[333] This is very distracting.

[334] Anyway, sorry.

[335] Why don't you guys talk for a second?

[336] I'm going to shut this door.

[337] Yeah, please.

[338] Shut the door.

[339] By the way, remember that couch story we were talking about the Sky Bar?

[340] Yeah, yeah.

[341] That was like my first month in L .A. Oh, really?

[342] And it was like my first time at an L .A. bar.

[343] And then I meet you.

[344] And then when that happened, I just remember it turned into bullet time where I just see girls like fucking glasses of wine I like to call that saving private Ryan vision like you're like looking around everything is it black and white and slow motion yeah and then I ran around the corner and me and Joe hid from you oh cool no man I knew I knew it was going down in mid air in mid air I'm like damn I'm an idiot man I do stupid shit all the time but this is really stupid and I was like man I finally have a famous friend in my entire life and I tell him to fuck off do you see inception oh not yet everybody's This is awesome.

[345] We got to keep talking about a second.

[346] I don't know you're ready.

[347] I'm going to go see it tonight, though, for sure.

[348] Do it.

[349] We're not done talking about strike force.

[350] You know why?

[351] Partially because at Red Band tweeted like, man, he was stroking himself while he was writing this review.

[352] Like 140 characters of, oh, inception.

[353] Oh, God.

[354] But before we get, before we get that.

[355] We got to go back to this little strike force thing.

[356] All right.

[357] I bet.

[358] I'm right.

[359] We had issues.

[360] We got a fucking wild kingdom going on up in this bitch.

[361] So the strike force thing So for the people who haven't seen it This is what happens One guy wins And this guy who won Jake Shields Mayhem and Jake Shields Had fought in the past Very close decision As a matter of fact At the end of the second round Was it the second or the third?

[362] I don't know At the end of the second or the third He had him locked up In a rear naked choke Homeboy was going to sleep There was seconds to go The only reason I didn't hold him After the bell Was because my last fight I illegally kicked Jack Gray in his head And I was like Ooh I don't want to get the Everybody hates me because I'm a dirty -ass fighter, you know?

[363] So I didn't even hold on to it beyond the bell because I was like, I'll get him in the next time.

[364] He would have went to sleep.

[365] He was a couple seconds away from going to sleep.

[366] It was dead up.

[367] Dead locked on.

[368] Anyway, so the point is, they had a big, very close fight.

[369] It was very, it was exciting, and Mayhem doesn't feel like he did his best, which no fighter ever does.

[370] No. So he wanted to have this rematch.

[371] So when Jake Shields won in a big victory over Dan Henderson, Mayhem says, well, this is a good way to hype this fight up.

[372] This would be a big -name fight.

[373] You know, I'm Mayhem Miller from M. TV and bully beatdown and we're on fucking CBS right now.

[374] You know, I'm, I'm a famous MMA guy.

[375] You're a famous MMA guy.

[376] You just had a huge victory.

[377] Let's make some money.

[378] Yeah, let's make some fucking money.

[379] Yeah, that's exactly.

[380] Let's get fucking, come on, let's get crazy.

[381] Come on, let's hype this up.

[382] You're going to get mad at me?

[383] But the problem is everybody took its street.

[384] Everybody went goofy.

[385] Like, come on, man. You guys have to have some sort of an understanding that there's a certain amount of shit you should be able to talk before you throw down because it's good for business.

[386] It's good for business.

[387] What's not good for business is punting people in the head when you're down.

[388] I understand where you're coming from.

[389] You want to back up your boy, but you can't do that on TV.

[390] You've got to realize that a lot of this disrespect and the shit talking, it's not real.

[391] Yeah.

[392] It's a man in fact, it's a little bit.

[393] A little bit.

[394] Like I said, me and him are in the damn locker room.

[395] We suffer together.

[396] But there's reality, like, the reality, as you know, it was a great fight.

[397] The reality is, you know you would like to get back in there.

[398] And the reality is, you know, you think you can beat him.

[399] You came close to tapping them.

[400] So there's a lot of real hype to it.

[401] But there's always respect like all the bullshit and the shit talking and everything like that.

[402] What people have to understand is that makes you money.

[403] That sells the fucking fights.

[404] That's a big, big thing.

[405] Like Rashad and Rampage, man, if neither one of those guys said a word to each other, there wouldn't have been half the emotion.

[406] It's too black guys fight.

[407] Who cares?

[408] But I'm just saying they hyped it up.

[409] Yes.

[410] They made money.

[411] Smart.

[412] And there's some realistic.

[413] Yes.

[414] There's some reality to it, but they kept their shit together.

[415] They got so close on that ultimate fighter show, man. When they got in each other's face and they, they were like touching noses.

[416] In Australia, I'm friends with both guys.

[417] I'm friends with both those.

[418] As I am I. Because they're cool guys.

[419] They're both great guys.

[420] And I grew up with rampage, basically.

[421] When I moved to California in my damn van, I like, I lived in the parking lot down the street from his house and would drive to go pick them up to take them to another gym to train every day.

[422] We hung out every day in which one conversation that he remembers, I went, man, you should be Mr. T on the A team.

[423] Wow.

[424] And then he started spitting that.

[425] Like that.

[426] And I was like, oh, my, you're, see?

[427] I told you.

[428] And then magic mayhem five, eight years later.

[429] That's like some law of attraction type shit, son.

[430] Yeah, exactly.

[431] Anyway, maybe I'm just magic.

[432] Joe Rogan.

[433] Maybe he's just black.

[434] You might be magic, too.

[435] Really?

[436] Awesome.

[437] Mayhem just blessed me. I think I got some magic piece of dust on me and shit.

[438] Ding.

[439] Hey, anyway, so we're in Australia, and those guys are both out there.

[440] And I'm kind of kicking in with both of them going around to Australia's nightlife.

[441] And I'm, but I'm kind of hanging out more with rampades.

[442] I've known him for way longer and whatever.

[443] And I kind of, you know, I haven't seen them.

[444] We were catching up.

[445] And anyway, he, these guys, suddenly I'm in the nightclub with some hot chicks.

[446] I'm looking around.

[447] Like, wow, hot chicks, cool.

[448] This is what life's supposed to be, right?

[449] And security starts running past me. And I'm like, where's Rampage?

[450] And I looked over at where Rishad was sitting.

[451] Where's Rishad?

[452] And I was like, dude, they're not here.

[453] And those guys are running.

[454] I run down to this little tiny hallway where the bathroom was.

[455] And who's standing there face to face in this hallway that I can barely fit down?

[456] They are face to face in this thing.

[457] Just black guy talking.

[458] Like, no, yeah, blah, motherfucker.

[459] Like, all I can hear is motherfucker.

[460] Treat me like a bitch.

[461] Yeah.

[462] Treat me like a bitch.

[463] Treat me like a bitch.

[464] But here we go.

[465] I was like, oh, and dude, these security is like locked.

[466] They know who these guys are.

[467] They know what can go down right now.

[468] They're just like, uh, uh, fuck.

[469] Could you imagine being security at a fucking club in Australia, especially in Sydney.

[470] Sydney, people are cool as fuck.

[471] You know, like, yeah, people are nice here.

[472] How hard is it to be a bouncer?

[473] You know, no big deal.

[474] And then one day, two fucking cage fighters came in.

[475] Savage cage fighters.

[476] One of the biggest rivalries in the history of the UFC.

[477] and these two guys are in each other's face in your bar and you got to do something.

[478] But yo, da -da -da -da -da -da -to -rescue, I sprinted down in there, got in between them, and explained to them in the language that I'm accustomed to, black guy, because I talk black guy for sure.

[479] Oh, for sure.

[480] Will you give us an exact interpretation of what you said?

[481] What do you mean?

[482] My normal black guy is just black guy.

[483] Like, I, my formative years were spent with all black guys.

[484] Right.

[485] My, from 12, well, I moved to a less black neighborhood when I was 12, and whatever, It was still hung out with black kids because I was already used to that.

[486] Like, I was just like, you know, that was just my normal guy.

[487] What's it feel like?

[488] You know what I mean?

[489] Hey, get out of here.

[490] So anyway, I get in these guys' face and like, hey, man, let's do this on TV, huh?

[491] Why are you guys going to waste it right here?

[492] Because the international incident, they kind of like broke off and kind of like laughed the fact that I'm screaming about an international incident.

[493] Right.

[494] And disaster averted.

[495] But, like, they were serious.

[496] Yeah, they were.

[497] Like, I was like, you.

[498] You guys are really, because a couple drinks, these guys get fired up.

[499] Well, there's the psychological advantage of not getting the other guy, you know, not backing down at all, is so important to those guys.

[500] And they understand that.

[501] I mean, it seems stupid, and I think it is kind of dumb, you know, but I understand it 100%.

[502] And, you know, look, when people get heated into each other's faces and, you know, and there's this, especially with two guys that are about to fight, these little tiny battles are real.

[503] These little tiny psychological battles, like, who gets to tell who to go fucking.

[504] themselves last you know who gets to say the last word you know it's like fuck man we might be here all day i'm not going anywhere fuck you i don't get in that world man i'm so not why would you want to get yourself well it's true it's true but if you're a cage fighter it's a different situation because psychological warfare it's very important it's very important your mindset as opposed to where their mindset is when when the fight starts you can fuck someone's head up in the pre -fight but there's a lot of fighters that are awesome believing just like i love you That's all nice and good, but everybody's got their own style.

[505] You can't hate on someone's shit -talking style because it really works, man. There's some shit, man. When you get inside someone's head and get them emotional and all riled up and start talking shit about their girlfriend, talking shit about their kids, talking shit about their life, you start fucking.

[506] And look, some people can take it.

[507] Some people you talk shit on them and they think it's funny and it doesn't hurt them.

[508] But some guys go crazy.

[509] Look at fucking Frank Meir when Brock Lesnar got in Frank Mears' face after he beat the fuck out of him.

[510] After he beat his fucking face into the ground to smash him.

[511] Then he gets in his face.

[512] Talk some fucking shit.

[513] You used that for motivation.

[514] That was real, man. That was a real anger.

[515] You know, that guy got fucking furious because of that.

[516] It backfired on him, but it works on other guys, man. What do you mean?

[517] What do you talk about?

[518] Backfired?

[519] Well, I mean, you think that people got sad?

[520] No, no, no, no, no. I mean, as far as his performance.

[521] Rock sad.

[522] As far as his performance.

[523] performance, all the shit talking that Frank Mere did, backfired.

[524] Well, I just think that Brock is, yeah, that Brock was going to beat him.

[525] He's just bigger and stronger.

[526] He is bigger, I agree, but what I'm saying is it didn't do any good and actually got him more of a beating.

[527] Well, you know, he tried, you know, fair enough.

[528] You know, I'm saying.

[529] I mean, and he got really, he got, there was some real violence and anger behind it.

[530] I'd rather the guy beat the shit out of me than fucking, then let me off easy, you know.

[531] I want to, if I lost, I'd love, I want to lose.

[532] I don't want to like, oh, you hugged me into the damn bat.

[533] I want to like, yeah, did you see the, um, IFC, did you see the, um, the, um, Josh Barnett and Geronimo D 'Azant No, no, no, I didn't see it yet.

[534] Quick stoppage, man. I mean, Josh Barnett was crushing him.

[535] No, don't get me wrong.

[536] I mean, it's definitely just.

[537] But I was thinking, like, wow, I don't know.

[538] I think Brock Lesnar took more shots than this guy.

[539] And the guy got up and he was really pissed and he protested.

[540] He was like, what the fuck?

[541] And granted, Barnett was killing him.

[542] Don't get me wrong.

[543] Barnett looked awesome.

[544] I mean, he, Barnett's fucking solid.

[545] Barnett's solid.

[546] Here's the thing.

[547] As I love the officiating in the Lesner fight, Lesner Carlin.

[548] Let him go, right?

[549] He didn't know I'm a Super Carlin fan.

[550] Like I love Carl and he's the best guy Look I'm a fan of anybody who can win And Brock Lesnar showed his character And coming back for that second round But he took a lot of shots where I was looking at Big John who I think is the best of the business I think Big John and Herb Dean are the very best And big but Big John stopped that fight in Australian I was like I wonder who would have stopped the Lesnar fight People would have stopped it Yeah I don't totally Josh Rosenthal is the shit That guy is one of the best Rosenthal he's the shit He's a real fan, he trains He's a brown belt and jiu -jitsu What about Herb Dean?

[551] Herb Dean is the shit.

[552] He's my name.

[553] Herb Dean is stellar, outstanding.

[554] Coolest motherfucker on the planet who both guys are.

[555] And, you know, but I don't think either one of those guys would have stopped it.

[556] Maybe, maybe Herb might have stopped.

[557] No, I don't think you would have.

[558] But somebody might have.

[559] No one from the Matrix is going to stop that.

[560] Eve Levine's a great referee, but he might have stopped it.

[561] Yeah, yeah.

[562] You know what I'm saying?

[563] Yeah, yeah.

[564] I mean, there's a few, I mean, all I'm trying to get at is that, on moments like that, you realize how important a referee really is.

[565] Yeah.

[566] So important.

[567] Here's the thing is, I don't, you know, I don't think it should have been stopped because he was taking a beating for sure.

[568] But if you look at the athlete's face, you have to, like, pay attention to their facial expression there and they're, if they don't look like they want out of there, why stop it?

[569] Right.

[570] You know, because, like, I never once can remember.

[571] I remember getting my ass here a couple times, like, getting kicked and I, like, remember thinking, don't stop this fight.

[572] Like, don't stop it.

[573] I'm still here.

[574] Don't worry.

[575] I'm still here and keeping my face.

[576] But if I had the facial.

[577] Because that's an extra thing to think about, right?

[578] Well, yeah, I mean, but I just know in my head, don't stop the fight.

[579] Because I can tell in a couple fights I've been in where I'm like, getting my ass whooped, I can tell.

[580] Like, I'm like, whoa, I'm getting kicked.

[581] I'm getting my ass kick right now.

[582] I got to hurry up and get out of this situation.

[583] But at the same time, I'm thinking, don't stop.

[584] Please don't stop the fight because I'm still here.

[585] Have you talked to the Diaz brothers or Gilbert Melendez or anybody that was involved in the strike force brawl?

[586] Yeah, I talked to Melendez.

[587] Yeah, and he's cool.

[588] And he's cool.

[589] And he's cool and he's all.

[590] And I was actually kind of friends with Nate Diaz, despite me and Nick never getting along.

[591] Do you think you guys can all squash?

[592] Oh, you don't get along with Nick?

[593] Man, fuck Nick Diaz.

[594] Wow.

[595] Whoa.

[596] Yeah, I said it.

[597] Anyway, what is your problem with Nick Diaz?

[598] No, because, you know what?

[599] I feel like he was a driving factor in that whole thing.

[600] He's the first guy to throw a punch.

[601] He started that whole thing.

[602] And it's almost not his fault because he's retarded.

[603] But at the same time, he is.

[604] embodies this cultural ship that we had.

[605] And it really started with Dr. Dre selling us and W .A. And it sent us this culture of gangsters is cool.

[606] Right.

[607] Yeah.

[608] Gangster is cool in a way to watch a movie.

[609] But being gangster is just being a little kid.

[610] You know what I mean?

[611] And starting a big brawl because what?

[612] I talked some shit to your homie.

[613] That is just ghetto.

[614] And that thing embodies what's wrong.

[615] wrong with America right now people don't take it like when they asked them about it I came out and apologized right after that whole thing went down because I was wrong I stepped in the cage but no one stopped me I figured that they won't mind it'll be cool it'll be a cool way to hype right what are you doing and then uh come on you doing this out man you're freaking us up sorry anyway so you know I got I got in there he they jump on me that that's not the proper response like you know you don't act like a damn savage we're beyond that Brian, come on, man Sorry I can't remember what I was saying You interrupt his pattern of thought Yeah, so I mean You had talked to Nick in the past though You guys have worked together Yeah, you know what the problem was is that Nick Well, after one fight I did fuck him out pretty good Because after one of these One of his fights, I was doing the post -fight interview I'm Jason Mayhem Miller with Nick Diaz That's usually I did I didn't know set up It was like a silly interview It was just a joke Like, he didn't get the joke, though.

[616] That's the problem.

[617] Right.

[618] I was just fucking with him.

[619] He's like a serious dude.

[620] Yeah.

[621] Oh, you know, he's like, I ain't nobody's bitch, dude.

[622] You know what I mean?

[623] Like that's how the guy is.

[624] Is that surprising?

[625] Look, I like Nick Diaz a lot.

[626] I'm a big fan of him as a fighter.

[627] I've always been cool with him as a person.

[628] I thought he was great.

[629] You know, listen.

[630] But what is, what is it about him that whole no, no fun, no fun in games?

[631] I don't know.

[632] That's a weird way to live.

[633] Yeah, because he just is, he's, he's, he's, he's, I don't know.

[634] He's just angry with himself, so he just takes out on everyone else.

[635] But it's rare that someone is so disciplined, like, as disciplined as he is.

[636] I mean, Nick Diaz is in tremendous shape.

[637] Yeah, yeah.

[638] Just running.

[639] Yeah.

[640] And, you know, his cardio is outstanding.

[641] He works really hard, obviously.

[642] He's so good now, too, man. His last few fights, man, the fucking Scott Smith's fight, I was really impressed.

[643] Frank Shamrock, I was like, God damn.

[644] He's like, he's fucking putting it together.

[645] He's putting it on people.

[646] I like to whoop his ass.

[647] But as, like, that whole, like, always angers.

[648] angry and always fighting it's you know it's unfortunate it's unfortunate way of looking whatever you know that's just the mentality of some people and i think that you know but it's weird you see that in someone who's so good at that fine yeah yeah well i mean what do you mean you just go to the gym every day yeah but to be smart you there's there's a certain amount of there's a certain amount of power over your mind and over your will there's a certain amount you have or or you have to have a will man yeah whatever dude listen i got uncles who are dumb as shit who would just go to to their construction job and work hard as hell every day.

[649] It doesn't take that.

[650] No, listen.

[651] Nick Diaz might not be like you might not think he's the socially most inept guy in the world but physically that guy's very intelligent.

[652] Look how good as Jiu -Jitsu is.

[653] Look how good he fights.

[654] That takes intelligence.

[655] It's just if he's not focusing it in other areas of his life, it doesn't mean that he's not intelligent.

[656] There's no doubt that guy.

[657] When you're that good, you're super intelligent.

[658] It's just, I mean, I understand where it all comes from.

[659] I mean, It's like, it's a programming that you get when you're really young and you think that that's the way to behave and act.

[660] But I think you've got a real good point, you know?

[661] You got a real good point about that culture.

[662] I like to have fun and I act wild.

[663] I do crazy stuff.

[664] But you are always cool to people.

[665] I've never seen you picking fights with somebody for no reason.

[666] What's the point?

[667] Never seen you start arguments for no reason.

[668] You've always been cool to people.

[669] I've never seen you bully people or fuck with anybody, which is really funny that you wound up getting this anti -bullie show.

[670] Yeah.

[671] No, listen, the same job that I'm doing now, man I did the same thing all growing up it's so funny that I got because I played this role my entire life because every time there's a big kid picking on a little kid I can remember like three incidents so you're an anti -bole yeah I would be like because I like to fight I always like to fight since I was three years old like I and then my dad was in an army and box and stuff and he he like so you weren't afraid of it you wanted to get in there and do it yeah I wasn't scared and then talking shit and bullying somebody yeah some guy was bullying another little kid i remember walking seeing it going down and he was pushing the little kid around and i was like i remember i like i don't know i guess i was like nine or eight i walked over there and got in between him and then i beat this kid up but but did you start bullying bully yeah no absolutely because maybe you were bullying bullies though is a very common practice yeah there's a lot of righteous people do that i bully to bully the other today on using blue torture dot com my bully in high school he used to always fuck with me so what 15 years later I made a website where I used to take Listerine strips and put them in animals' mouths but I would Photoshop like them have blue lips and stuff like that and pay PETA or whatever got so pissed off that they're like we're going to go to this person's house and protest them so I found my bully's address and made this big flyer like got five new puppies going to give them 200 Listerine strips live on the internet and here's Stop right now.

[672] Stop right now.

[673] Don't be admitting this on the internet.

[674] I know what's wrong with you Huh?

[675] Stop what you're talking about.

[676] No it's fine.

[677] I've already admitted it many times on the internet.

[678] Well, not on this fucking podcast.

[679] Nobody else listened to it.

[680] Sorry, Peter.

[681] Sorry, Peter.

[682] Didn't mean to do it.

[683] I'm not talking about that.

[684] I'm talking about the guy.

[685] Huh?

[686] The guy.

[687] Oh, dude.

[688] It doesn't matter.

[689] I got the wrong address.

[690] Okay.

[691] Well, who's ever address you got?

[692] You sent psychopedia people to some random person's house?

[693] Even worse.

[694] Dude, let's stop talking.

[695] Let's stop talking about it.

[696] Jesus Christ, Christ, equality.

[697] No, let's, but while we're on that subject, tell me mayhem, the story of your, your assistant.

[698] that did you wrong and justice which I think is 100 times worse than what it is get out of here no it's not because dude you gave away where someone lives huh that's where someone lives I was just thinking I got my I got my ex -sist yeah that's where someone sleeps this is just a phone number a phone number is not nearly as bad as the place where you sleep the rest of the story was what was weird about it is that he was arrested the same week that this happened for torture to an animal he left his dog in his house for like weeks at a time while he was out doing other bad stuff.

[699] And so it just happened at the same week, which made it a million times better.

[700] He was out doing other bad stuff?

[701] Yeah.

[702] The way he speaks is so interesting.

[703] Well, I'm trying not to get the guy in trouble or pointed at him.

[704] All right.

[705] Well, we can move on to the subject.

[706] Revenge was served, so you don't have to worry.

[707] Okay, good.

[708] So now we can all sleep knowing that you won't be legally back to you.

[709] It was weird because actually he was abusing animals the whole time.

[710] It is funny when someone tries to do a scam and gets busted, you know, Interesting story is the guy who, you know, people always ask, hey, can we take a picture where you get me in a choke or I'll get you in a choke?

[711] And I say we can't.

[712] Because the UFC specifically tells us we can't because two guys were sued.

[713] Chuck was sued and Matt Hughes were sued for taking pictures with dudes.

[714] Yeah, but then why did Jim Norton just get choked out the other day on opium?

[715] It was a video.

[716] A video is totally different because a video, no, no, listen, a video is very obvious what's happening.

[717] And by the way, it's Jim Norton.

[718] Jim Norton's not going to sue Randy Couture.

[719] He's just random fans and thought they could make some money.

[720] And they pretend to, that Chuck heard him, they pretend that Matt Hughes heard him.

[721] Well, the guy who they pretended Matt Hughes heard him, apparently they investigated this because there was all these people that said, like, come on, man, this bullshit.

[722] Matt's a nice guy.

[723] He was taking a picture with you.

[724] You asked him to do it.

[725] This guy turned out he was a dirty cop.

[726] And they started investigating him and found out some shit, and now he's in jail.

[727] Now he's doing a long stretch.

[728] He's doing like 10 years or something.

[729] You know why?

[730] Because Matt Hughes is a Christian and Jesus did it.

[731] Jesus fucked that dude in the ass.

[732] That's what happened right there.

[733] Oh, my God.

[734] Jesus came down.

[735] The worst thing ever said on a podcast.

[736] Too bad.

[737] Yeah, that's, could it be a worst thing to get raped by?

[738] Imagine getting raped by Jesus.

[739] Ah, man, Cheeva and the Destroyer.

[740] That's a way better guy to get raped by it and shit, right?

[741] Yeah.

[742] So, uh, tell us what happened with this, this.

[743] Mayhem is, uh, like I said, one of the nicest guys I know, totally down, loyal dude.

[744] But he had an issue with an employee.

[745] No, here's what happened.

[746] I had the worst assistant ever.

[747] Like, literally, like, I'd be like, Eddie, take a right on ocean and a right on California.

[748] All right on ocean, right on California.

[749] make up a name for this guy.

[750] Yeah, his name is, how about Mike?

[751] Is Mike good?

[752] No, Mike's my dad's name.

[753] Tanya Harding.

[754] Tanya Harding.

[755] Okay, no, no, don't say Tanya Harding.

[756] Let's just call him Tanya.

[757] I'll call him Tanya.

[758] I was like, Tanya, just take a right on ocean.

[759] Take a right on California.

[760] You got it?

[761] And he's like, oh, uh -huh.

[762] And my friend goes, it's a big yellow building.

[763] So I walk to the building I told him to go to, and I'm waiting for 15 minutes.

[764] And I'm like, what the hell?

[765] Finally, I call the guy.

[766] I'm like, what are you doing?

[767] he's just stupid like i okay we've established he's very poor at his job okay so then he comes but so what then when he got you fucked you over let's get on track here i am i am i want to set it up so you know what i was dealing with here okay so i'm keep giving him another chance every time like i'm like god so he can't pay my credit card bill it takes me two two minutes to do it he has all the information still couldn't do it he can't figure out travelosity he booked me an hour away from my family reunion like he's he's he's terrible on his job okay okay so he then goes to one of my close friends and just lies about everything like like it's a girl okay one of your close friends yeah this this guy found her information and contact he went somehow he got her email on a email mostly I mean he had to be hating there's only one reason why guy does that guy goes and talks to a girl and talks shit about you That's a hater I know Don't worry I'm well aware of that So you know This guy Frickin calls her It just starts Making up Ridiculous story The girl believes it Like she's like Believes it Totally I believe it And then it's like Totally I'm like What the hell So he says a bunch of bad shit About you Yeah You're very emotional I don't understand You're having a hard time Getting this out They are Yeah they are Yeah it's fucking That sucks man Sensitive Sensitive Sensitive Very sensitive This guy fucked you over Yeah me out finally i get the story out of her she tells me why i'm like what like he just made all that shit up like really she by we make up he he she told me all that i'm like man i suffered for like a week or two where she was just given me the boot like no reason and i don't know what and you didn't know what it was and i didn't know what it was that all stopping you in the bag that i fired the week before because he ended up at his job and i was totally cool with him too so you had already fired him and then he did all this?

[768] I fired him and then he did all this.

[769] Oh, I was confused.

[770] I thought he did all this while he was working for.

[771] No. Okay.

[772] So then, so you fire him.

[773] He talks shit about you to this girl that he was probably in love with.

[774] And then what do you do?

[775] You put his...

[776] Oh, no. I was talking to my friend Dane Cook and I...

[777] Name dropped.

[778] Totally name.

[779] I was talking to my friend, Dave Cook.

[780] Well, you were talking on Twitter, right?

[781] On Twitter.

[782] And then I accidentally posted that guy's number.

[783] Dude, I did that.

[784] Then I thought of him.

[785] I did that.

[786] I did my own number.

[787] I saw that.

[788] I saw that you did that.

[789] So I, you know, I was like, yeah, call the guy anyway and talk to him.

[790] So you thought you were making a direct message to Dane Cook.

[791] Yeah.

[792] And you were really just twittering it publicly.

[793] Hey, that happens, man. But I can't figure out how to delete it an assistant.

[794] I can't figure out how to delete the phone number.

[795] Oh, don't worry.

[796] There's nice people on Twitter.

[797] Del deleted.

[798] Licking your phone number is so intense.

[799] Because that's like something that you have so many, like 100 people that know your phone number.

[800] And once you leak that, like Dana White just.

[801] just leaked it on Twitter the other day.

[802] You could lose that full number forever.

[803] I think Dana did with his office number, so they'll change his office number.

[804] Oh, that's not bad.

[805] But your cell phone, that's pretty huge.

[806] Dude, you saw what was going on my phone.

[807] Yeah, I couldn't even turn it on.

[808] You've had that number for a long -ass time.

[809] You're going to forget how many people have that number when somebody down the line you're trying to reach you.

[810] I think that's all good.

[811] I think this is pretty resetting.

[812] Just reaching back and trying to grab a hold the people from the past.

[813] Don't let that shit go, son.

[814] It's kind of fun when you lose a number and they've got to go.

[815] I liked it.

[816] Now I can't even turn the phone on.

[817] I turn the phone on, it just reboots because it gets so many texts because I turn it on like every day.

[818] And when I turn it on, it's like 5 ,000 texts.

[819] So it just reboots.

[820] And I can't use it.

[821] I try to make a call or I get calls in on it.

[822] I try to answer the call.

[823] And while I'm answering the call, it's just constant buzz, buzz, buzz of text coming through, buzz, buzz, or beats people calling in there on the other line.

[824] And then it reboots.

[825] Is that red band is basically turning the phone on and sitting on it.

[826] That's what you're telling me?

[827] I'm putting it in my flashlight.

[828] That's what he likes to do.

[829] But so, unfortunately, you put this guy's phone number online, but I don't think anybody's going to call it.

[830] No, nobody will call his number, right?

[831] Why would they?

[832] Yeah, it's not like it's my phone number.

[833] Yeah, and it's not like you're like this loved guy and that guy fucked you over.

[834] You know what I'm saying?

[835] It's not like there's any.

[836] Nobody loves the bully me down guy.

[837] Well, I am an official mayhem monkey.

[838] I'm a member of your cult.

[839] Number 420.

[840] That's as cliche as they make it, folks.

[841] I had to take it.

[842] It's perfect, right?

[843] Yeah, bro.

[844] come on somebody had to be 420 yeah mayhem has a cult called the mayhem monkeys yeah i'm down with that shit so it's it's easy you know what i got a mayhem monkey t -shirt i got two of them i feel like you're like at least a general in the thank you monkey army i mean at least i don't know can't wait prime minister well you know what i'm saying how about this how about uh i have a cult you have a cult and we'll be like fucking favorite nations and shit no that's who we are we'll be like allies no you know why because you think about it i just want my cult to be people who are of the same mindset And you are because we're all monkeys Spin around a rock in space Right?

[845] I mean that's what it is.

[846] Huh?

[847] Tubes and tunnels.

[848] Yeah.

[849] Tubs and tunnels.

[850] That's what we have.

[851] Boys have tubes, girls have tunnels.

[852] Yep.

[853] Wow.

[854] I love Brian.

[855] You know why?

[856] Because Brian is a grown man with a beard But he thinks like a 14 year old.

[857] So great.

[858] I like it.

[859] You have to.

[860] I love that personality, man. That's a unique motherfucker right there.

[861] Did you ever get your Mayam monkeys like all together like for kind of like a roller skating party or anything like?

[862] that problem i've done that i've done that with the rogan board members it's almost always awesome but there's almost always one dude that's creepy in real life right one dude that just jacks the party remember when we did houston back in the day yeah who was a good example of that where it was a couple dudes i don't remember the names but me i don't know anyone i did i wouldn't even say it right after meeting them they stopped they just drop off the right board they stopped coming to the board and there's been there's been members that wives have found out that they came to these circle And, like, remember?

[863] There's been affairs.

[864] There's been deaths.

[865] I mean, our friend Outlaw, that was a legitimate friend of ours that died.

[866] He had a heart attack.

[867] He was overweight, overweight, dude.

[868] Yeah, that's a business.

[869] Lon was a cool motherfucker.

[870] We knew that guy from, like, 2001 was when we first met him in Houston, right?

[871] And he was always on my message board.

[872] Just a funny dude.

[873] Just a cool dude.

[874] So you can meet cool people up the Internet.

[875] But the problem is, man, for every cool dude, you know.

[876] know, for every 10 cool dudes, there's one or two, just creepy fucks that it'll show up for your little thing.

[877] Yeah, but that's percentages on the planet.

[878] Yeah, it's pretty fucking good.

[879] I think, you know, you get to know people very well from reading the shit they write on the internet.

[880] That's why Twitter's awesome because you get to see, is this person a negative person, positive, funny, you can see through their tweets because they can't help them.

[881] They put themselves out there.

[882] You know who I love.

[883] I love black dudes that give motivational talks.

[884] Yeah, I like that too.

[885] I like that too.

[886] You know Tyrese, that actor, that dude who's always like, women, stand up for yourself.

[887] In all caps, you know, make that man respect you.

[888] And baby boy is saying that?

[889] Love yourself before someone else will love you girls.

[890] Like he'll like say all this like crazy, super positive love pimp shit.

[891] And you know he's just slinging his, I'm a good guy game.

[892] You know what I mean?

[893] It's like his fucking avatar on Twitter is him making out with some chick.

[894] Your dude is built like a fucking Greek god.

[895] He's a movie star.

[896] He's a sexy motherfucker.

[897] I mean, I don't hate him.

[898] I'm not hating, but I find it hilarious when he's talking all this superpower pro -god love game.

[899] Like, you can tell when someone's throwing a game.

[900] You know what I'm saying?

[901] You can tell when someone's real and that's who they are.

[902] You can't.

[903] But a lot of people are not as bright as you are, Joe Rogan.

[904] But isn't it fascinating when you see someone's throwing a game and other people aren't seeing it?

[905] Oh, yeah.

[906] Like Scientology.

[907] You know?

[908] Like anything like that.

[909] Like, I had this neighbor who's a cool guy.

[910] I still love the guy.

[911] where I used to live, and he was talking to me about buying this piece of property.

[912] And then he said, well, I can't do it right now, but I really want to pick this up because my wife is about to go clear.

[913] So I go, what are you talking about?

[914] He goes, yeah, well, we're in Scientology, and she's going to go clear.

[915] And I cost $50 ,000.

[916] Otherwise, I would pick this piece of property up.

[917] I go, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[918] I go, what is clear?

[919] Like, what are you talking about?

[920] So I'm just, you know, as a comedian, automatically, I want to start laughing at them and mocking them.

[921] but then my heckler skills are taking me give him some rope let's talk here let's let's find out what we got going on here so so i'm listening to him he's telling me that his wife is going to become someone who cannot be influenced by outside forces dude i'm not fucking with you what did they they get them to the point where nothing negative that anybody does to them or says to them can affect who they are it's really fucking some pretty strong pimp shit if you think about it you know someone tells you that they're going to fix you so nothing's going to come in.

[922] What's uncomfortable about is you start thinking you could do that too.

[923] You start thinking I could do that to people.

[924] I could start writing shit like this and making shit up.

[925] What are you talking about?

[926] Easily.

[927] Easily, man. It was a crazy feeling though, knowing that I'm living next to some dude is just getting raped.

[928] Hey, man. We can go down that.

[929] You know what I mean?

[930] They were taking 50 grand from him, man. 50 ,000.

[931] To wave of magic wand, don't you?

[932] I'll do that for like 40 gis.

[933] To do some goddamn voodoo ceremony on his wine.

[934] so that she won't get affected by bad booju anymore.

[935] Did you ever see the South Park episode about the whole Scientology thing about the Chris?

[936] One of the best.

[937] Oh, yeah, and I know when they went over the whole myth.

[938] Oh, my God, that was genius.

[939] South Park's the greatest cartoon in history.

[940] You know what, though, but here's the way it is, though, okay.

[941] The way it is is my friend has a grandma from Japan, lived in Hawaii, but basically had for the last 30 years been in the house, cleaning the house.

[942] She's the nicest lady.

[943] She got one of her friends from, I don't know, whatever.

[944] old Japanese ladies do she doesn't speak English but so they go to a Japanese church a Christian church and they go they're telling the story of the virgin birth and she suddenly has a freak out she's 80 years old she's kind of like an old lady like you believe this they're talking about she went you in the middle of the sermon like you all believe this this is what the really because that's her first time in a Christian church she didn't never she never heard about it really she didn't know the story oh no it's not you know she freaked out she was like did you guys and fucked up the whole sermon and left in the middle of it but if you draw the parallel it's the same thing it's kind of hard to you know i mean i hate to yeah i mean scientology is the same thing as christianity well yeah it's just it's the two thousand years younger it's yeah it doesn't matter anybody telling you they've got all the answers they don't yeah nobody we have this weird hunger to figure it all out.

[945] But it's good, though.

[946] It's good because now we got these Scientology, you know, science.

[947] Oh, sorry.

[948] Science, not Scientologists.

[949] Scientists.

[950] Real scientists.

[951] And I think it's messed up Scientologists.

[952] Put it in there to sound like their science.

[953] I know, right.

[954] That is kind of fucked up.

[955] They made their cult was science in it.

[956] Because people who don't want to go to church go, uh, wait, science sounds better.

[957] Yeah.

[958] You know, but anyway, it has not to do with science.

[959] Science and psychology together.

[960] It's meshed up.

[961] Exactly.

[962] But, you know, we all have this need to know everything.

[963] That's cool.

[964] These smart scientists are figuring it out.

[965] You know, they know the world around because they definitely shot.

[966] Here's the reality.

[967] Here's the reality.

[968] They're figuring out things about matter.

[969] They're figuring out things about the nature of reality.

[970] But we want more.

[971] But there's way more.

[972] The real big question isn't like, how does this work?

[973] What makes this explode?

[974] What makes an atom?

[975] What makes the Big Bang?

[976] The real question is what the fuck is all this?

[977] Yeah, I know, I know.

[978] That's the real question.

[979] That's impossible with just science.

[980] It's going to take evolution in science.

[981] The real thing that's going on is that we have all this incredible power right now as a human race, but we're still in this crazy adolescent stage of figuring out how to behave and think and raise children to be normal humans.

[982] You know, I mean, it's a fucking very strange time when you think about the power that people have to change the fucking world that we live in with explosions and all kinds of crazy shit that people have invented and how dumb people are as well at the same time so many dummies well yeah but you know I mean that's the way the world is you know there's smart people out there and those smart people boss idiots like me around but has there ever been as big a disparity between people who are intelligent involved and the people who aren't all living in the same time there's actually a lot of all right so scientists scientists are talking about how things are going to go in which direction are they going to go.

[983] And they're talking about the elite class of people, the smart people.

[984] Some scientists have talked about that.

[985] We're going to evolve, yeah, evolves just like the time machine, you know.

[986] There's going to be some goons and there's going to be the super smart, like crazy genetically enhanced robot people.

[987] I don't know why people wouldn't think that's possible.

[988] You know, people want to think somehow under the human beings what we are right now is what we're going to stay.

[989] Nope.

[990] And we're not.

[991] We're going to become something else.

[992] you know we're gonna we're gonna move on to something else man who knows what the fuck it is but it's not gonna stop right here I just hoping I get robot arms out of the field and if you look at like other animals like they all bunch of different kind of subspecies where they branched off and the humans themselves we at one point in time were related to some other kind of primate the same primate that the chimps were related to and they all went in different directions like who the fuck are we to assume that we're gonna that it's gonna stop the branch is gonna stop here no we're not I don't think anybody is anyone think that though some people yeah no what are you talking about man most people think that we're here and this is how we're staying when they can't even see that the Chinese chick I dated her parents are like super short and and she just sprung up to like five foot eight you know out of nowhere well guess what she's like eating this chemically processed food and all of a sudden she gets huge and she had big boobs I'm like what you're Asian your mom is super flat your dad is like a scrawny you got an octo woman you know you're having more babies now there's more twins oh yeah that's like some chemicals they pump dinner though, like some female steroids.

[993] Yeah, that was on purpose, too.

[994] Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[995] They, like, injected embryos in the hurt.

[996] Well, that happens all the time that people, like, they can't have a kid, you know?

[997] They're like, God, I just want to have a baby if they inject the lady with a bunch of hormones, so she's super fertile.

[998] Then he drops the load inside of her, and all of a sudden you pop out a litter of puppies, you know?

[999] Well, it's that.

[1000] And they even put embryos in these people.

[1001] That's what I'm saying.

[1002] I mean, actual embryos, and like old women who no longer have any eggs.

[1003] And their bodies are starting to get used to having, like, 12 kids at once.

[1004] now would a body be able to have 12 kids 10 years ago 20 years ago?

[1005] I'm just hoping to see the turtle woman who like has all her kids on the beach and then covers them up with sand it's a I think it's a disturbing idea for people to think that there's going to be two groups of humans intelligent ones and moron ones and they literally be two different species because people are worried that they would be in the moron group that's what it is everybody's like I don't even want to talk about this this is not real no bullshit people are going to evolve together we're going to help each other stop thinking like that You're a pessimist.

[1006] Really?

[1007] Watch the fucking news.

[1008] Really?

[1009] You don't...

[1010] Pay attention to some of the crazy shit that you hear people do.

[1011] You hear about people fucking their kids and going into stores with machine guns.

[1012] And you don't think that there's somewhere...

[1013] It's somehow possible that that might be a separate subspecies of people eventually, completely unrelated to like a Bill Gates.

[1014] Like, so totally different.

[1015] Yeah.

[1016] It's just a matter of time, man. You know what?

[1017] I'm cool with being on the lower end.

[1018] I'm like, whatever.

[1019] I'll be like the smart.

[1020] as dumb guy.

[1021] It'll be awesome.

[1022] I'm like the axe swinging savage.

[1023] I'd be like, what?

[1024] 7 -11?

[1025] Give me the food.

[1026] You might be having more fun and you might be getting more chicks because the smart chicks, it's hard to get them to commit to a relationship.

[1027] They're very wary of you.

[1028] They want to like, I don't, you seem like a guy who's going to like abuse my emotions.

[1029] But the dumb chick's like, oh, you're hot, Jason.

[1030] Can I, uh, get it in there, Jason?

[1031] The dumb ones are sometimes, it's more fun.

[1032] If you want to party, partying with dumb people sometimes is a lot more fun.

[1033] It is.

[1034] The partying with smart people want to fucking cry.

[1035] Talk to you about their ex -husbands.

[1036] They want to smoke a joint and then fucking, yeah, cry about their ex -husband.

[1037] Do you, I mean, think about it.

[1038] If you're just a guy trying to have a good time, you have two options.

[1039] One is a girl who's 23, just got out of college.

[1040] She's out with all of her best friends and they're all drinking.

[1041] Okay, there's that.

[1042] Or she's 31.

[1043] She's smoking cigarettes.

[1044] She just broke up with her boyfriend.

[1045] She thinks she might be pregnant.

[1046] Who the fuck you're going to talk to?

[1047] Who are you going to talk to?

[1048] Oh, yeah.

[1049] You want to talk to this?

[1050] smart chick who just graduated from college and she's not exactly sure what she's going to do with her life and like hey hey hey i just want to dance can we just have a drink and have some fun no no so you got maybe have a point if you want to have some fun if you want to have some fun studies studies disagree with you because right at from age 27 to 45 is like a woman's oh sexual prime oh for sure sexual prime she's all i'm saying you're telling me a 23 year is not blowing you in the bathroom of a bowling alley we're talking about dumb and smart all that's all I'm talking about.

[1051] I'm not talking about necessarily the age.

[1052] I think the chicks are hottest when they're in their 30s because they become women and they know each other.

[1053] I'm just saying, in our theoretical world of two different subspecies, you might be better off being king of the retards because you get a lot of hot chicks that are just like really easy and fun to hang out with.

[1054] Whereas opposed to you hang out with a lot of smart chicks, like they're going to want a lot of commitment.

[1055] Logan, I think we're already, you're going to have a relationship.

[1056] Listen, we have a black president.

[1057] We have a black president.

[1058] It is the future now and I am the king of the retards.

[1059] I'm chubby enough in Texas that I'm a supermodel.

[1060] Yeah, in Texas, you fit right to fuck in.

[1061] Dude, they look up to me. Girls like a man with a gut.

[1062] Girls like a man with a little gut in Texas.

[1063] That's a man who's living.

[1064] Bigger's better.

[1065] Look, in the old days, man, fat broads were attractive.

[1066] That's why those old paintings, like fat meant yet some money.

[1067] Like, she's so luxurious.

[1068] Look, she gets to get fat.

[1069] Because nobody else got fat, man. You know, when you look at those old pictures of fat bitches, and you're like, why is that sexy?

[1070] What the fuck was wrong with them?

[1071] What was wrong was it was hard to get food.

[1072] That was their bling.

[1073] They were bling, bling, and look all this.

[1074] It's hitty.

[1075] Look at all that shit right here.

[1076] I got all fat hanging off my arms and shit.

[1077] That's how much food I got, bitch.

[1078] I don't think they talk like that in the 1600s.

[1079] Those pictures were the, that was the equivalent of dub magazine.

[1080] That was the equivalent of MTV Cribs.

[1081] They were showing their bling.

[1082] This is my bling.

[1083] Look at all my fat.

[1084] I just be eating shit, pigs and shit all day.

[1085] I mean, pigs?

[1086] Yeah, you could be fat and fucked up and you looked like royalty, whereas everyone else was sinewy and they fucking worked all day.

[1087] They were built like mayhem, all these men with carpeters and shit.

[1088] If I go back in time, I want to plow some hood rats.

[1089] Is that what you're saying?

[1090] Well, when you go back in time, you know, maybe fat chicks, you'd fall into a world.

[1091] But maybe the only reason that guys could get fat chicks is because they had those gay powdered wigs on.

[1092] And only fat chicks would fuck them.

[1093] I don't know if that's the same era.

[1094] I don't think so.

[1095] I'm not sure.

[1096] Powdered wigs?

[1097] Powder wigs went a long way, right?

[1098] It was going off when, I think it was getting out of that when Jerome was painting.

[1099] People didn't wash back then.

[1100] Yeah, they didn't.

[1101] Yeah, who cared?

[1102] They washed, like, very rarely.

[1103] Well, you wash your armpits and your junk.

[1104] You do like an Irish shower real quick.

[1105] God damn.

[1106] How much did people stink back that?

[1107] No way, man. A lot of powder.

[1108] You do that all the time.

[1109] But I think, though, but I think that's how we're supposed to be.

[1110] I mean, we're always trying to kill our pharmoans off of each other.

[1111] Do you think that if people just walked around all day funky that you get used to?

[1112] No. No, I think you might.

[1113] That's like getting used to the cat litter box.

[1114] I smell it every day.

[1115] I still don't love it.

[1116] Listen, bro.

[1117] When you do jiu -jitsu, you get used to stinky smelling keys and people.

[1118] You don't mind it.

[1119] Dude, I locked up with this guy the other day.

[1120] And as soon as we started grappling, and his shirt smelled like pneumonia.

[1121] You know how dudes leave their shit?

[1122] When people leave their ghee in their bag and then they put it on again a second time, it's got that smell.

[1123] This guy has rash guard.

[1124] For sure, he wore it twice.

[1125] That's what happened.

[1126] Some dudes do that.

[1127] Bachelors and shit, they don't have any laundry.

[1128] They don't have the time to do it.

[1129] They work.

[1130] You get used to it, man. I got, yeah.

[1131] Actually, I got to like, listen, bro, I'll let me. You say that, but you would.

[1132] But, no, I smell cat litter for the last 10 years.

[1133] That it smells like assholes.

[1134] You would smell like acid.

[1135] Why?

[1136] That's not human.

[1137] It's not human smells.

[1138] It's not human.

[1139] Human body orders a different thing.

[1140] The poop is actually dangerous for you.

[1141] It's like you have a bacteria that can give you disease.

[1142] That's why it's so repulsive to you.

[1143] You know how to explain that to this guy right now?

[1144] Well, it's a big difference between.

[1145] He's very smart.

[1146] He's very smart.

[1147] It's just a little stone.

[1148] Damn, dude.

[1149] Sorry, I'm just saying shit is bad for you, just so you know.

[1150] How rude.

[1151] Sorry, sorry.

[1152] No, but I like stinky people.

[1153] You don't mind stinky people?

[1154] Well, unless they stink bad.

[1155] What about stinky pussy?

[1156] Not if it's negative.

[1157] You could smell the negative smell.

[1158] Right.

[1159] However, man, every girlfriend I've had, whether she knew it or not, I smell her armpit hard.

[1160] Really?

[1161] Yeah, every time.

[1162] I can't help.

[1163] My nose doesn't work that good.

[1164] Sometimes when I get warmed up, it works just fine.

[1165] Isn't amazing how repulsive stinky pussy is?

[1166] Oh, man. And this is not a woman -hating statement at all.

[1167] I understand it's like, no one's perfect.

[1168] It's just a health problem.

[1169] It's all it is.

[1170] It's a, you know, a bacterial infection or whatever it is.

[1171] It's just, it's nothing wrong.

[1172] I mean, it happens to people.

[1173] But the smell itself is such a warning sign to men.

[1174] There's whatever the fuck it is.

[1175] Pussy always smells awesome.

[1176] When you get down there, you smell the hormones and the moistness of it.

[1177] It has like this glazed fucking scent to it.

[1178] Like you just barely pick it up.

[1179] It's just you smell a woman through her pussy.

[1180] I mean, it's a clean, fresh pussy is a fantastic odor.

[1181] But when it's nasty, when she's got some sort of a yeast infection or something, it's horrifying.

[1182] Like all of your synapses are firing All of your senses are going Get that fuck away from that The last thing you want to do I mean I will eat a girl's ass After she gets back from the gym Way quicker than I would ever even think about Going down on a girl has a yeast infection Has anybody ever gone down on a girl as a yeast infection?

[1183] Absolutely.

[1184] Cot of cheese is delicious But you know what's really You know what's bad also is soap pussy Where they don't clean out the soap enough And you're licking and you're like this tastes like I'm fucking washing my soap out with my hat I'd rather be licking a dial factory than I would I don't know.

[1185] I like the muffler a little dirty.

[1186] Have you ever gone down on a girl when she had a yeast infection?

[1187] Well, I mean, I sure I have.

[1188] Like, you know, at what level does it become a yeast infection?

[1189] I mean, at one point, it's like getting there and then beyond it, then it stinks.

[1190] But I'm sure, you know, it's got...

[1191] Does period blood?

[1192] Does period blood bug you?

[1193] It depends on the girl, I found.

[1194] It's not like real blood.

[1195] I'm now...

[1196] I've recently been turning into Braveheart, you know, putting fucking stripes underneath my eyes, fucking drinking that shit.

[1197] I think if you're turned on enough, you don't give a fuck.

[1198] Yeah, for sure.

[1199] That's what it is.

[1200] Like, whenever I hear, like, girls will complain.

[1201] They will tell you stories about their, you know, their boyfriend won't fuck them when they're on their rag, and he's disgusted by it.

[1202] I'm like, that guy's not that into you.

[1203] Right.

[1204] Because let me tell you something.

[1205] If a guy wants to fuck you, he doesn't care if your pussy's red.

[1206] That's nonsense.

[1207] What is the difference if it's slippery and red or slippery and clear?

[1208] It can have an odor.

[1209] I don't give a fuck.

[1210] That's just blood.

[1211] If I'm horny and that's it on your period?

[1212] Oh, there's going to be some blood.

[1213] Sorry.

[1214] This is a shower.

[1215] You're wrong.

[1216] You just buy more bleach.

[1217] It's not just blood, dude.

[1218] It's like, there's like, dude, I don't care.

[1219] It's like, eggs, all of it.

[1220] Embryos.

[1221] I don't give a shit.

[1222] Chewing it up like a country breakfast.

[1223] When my shit is ready to go and I go into guerrilla mode, I don't give a fuck about some blood.

[1224] I don't care about it anymore.

[1225] You're not going to bear your face in.

[1226] Are you kidding me?

[1227] I would now.

[1228] Oh, fuck yeah.

[1229] I would, I would eat her pussy.

[1230] Dude, I'd be red wing time 20 right now.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] If Mrs. Rogan is under period, I'll, I'll eat that pussy.

[1233] I don't give a fuck.

[1234] I like it.

[1235] I don't care.

[1236] I'm not scared of blood, dude.

[1237] I got this werewolf fucking fixation.

[1238] I'm not afraid.

[1239] What I don't like, though, is when I forget to wash it off, and then you have, like, that cocoon shell on your dick the next morning where you, like, pull it off like a locus.

[1240] Oh, when you forget.

[1241] Yeah.

[1242] Yeah, you can all be up crusted and scaly and shit.

[1243] A locust.

[1244] You've got to pick it off a tree.

[1245] It's got its little legs still.

[1246] That's hilarious.

[1247] Like, locust skins.

[1248] It sluffs off like a snake.

[1249] Yeah.

[1250] Oh, wow.

[1251] We just took things.

[1252] It's a race.

[1253] No, but it's a good turn, man, because that's a primal thing.

[1254] These are all, like, primal messages that nature gives you.

[1255] These are all good things.

[1256] It's good for the chick.

[1257] It's good for you.

[1258] You know, when you go down on a chick and you smell her and she smells awesome and you want to eat her pussy, that feels good for her, too.

[1259] That's like extra excitement.

[1260] Like, you're into it.

[1261] She loves it.

[1262] And there's just burst of positive energy.

[1263] That's all good stuff, man. There ain't nothing wrong with that.

[1264] You know, and the fact that somehow or another, you're not supposed to talk about this or it's supposed to be something that's, you know, disgust behind closed doors.

[1265] That's just because people are afraid.

[1266] Yeah.

[1267] They're afraid of their feelings.

[1268] They're afraid of emotions.

[1269] They're afraid of looking ridiculous.

[1270] Well, it's our whole culture, too.

[1271] We have like a whole, like, stop on sex.

[1272] Like, oh, my God, sex.

[1273] Like, whoa, what do you draw life?

[1274] How come you can't talk about?

[1275] Every one of us is here because two people fucked.

[1276] Yeah.

[1277] That's the, how come you can't talk about eating pussy on the today show?

[1278] Why can't I go on the today's show and just respectfully talk about eating because you don't want to see those, what Katie Curric getting horny.

[1279] You don't want to see that.

[1280] They're trying to protect you.

[1281] They're trying to protect you from gross women getting horny.

[1282] If I caught Katie Couric 10 years ago and we got drunk together in a hotel bar.

[1283] Right now, what are you talking about?

[1284] I was a single man. You would wreck it?

[1285] You would wreck it?

[1286] Come on.

[1287] Katie Currick, if you want some, if you want some, if you ever had some athlete dick, you ever had some MMA fighter dick, you ever have some gladiator cock?

[1288] Jason Mayhem Miller is ready to throw down.

[1289] Don't call it.

[1290] Do you want to be Mayhem Monkey number 421?

[1291] Do you want to see Al Roker?

[1292] Is that position's available?

[1293] You and me in the record books, yo.

[1294] Al Roker with a boner doing.

[1295] the weather.

[1296] Do you want that?

[1297] Why would Al Roker get hard?

[1298] Do you think Al Roker would get hard from Katie Curig?

[1299] That's like his sister that gets more money than him.

[1300] Dude, you know they all fuck each other.

[1301] I bet they hate each other.

[1302] They all fuck each other.

[1303] I bet they yell at each other in the dressing room.

[1304] You are fucking hogging up my screen time.

[1305] I bet they get all shitty with each other.

[1306] I don't like to what you threw to that piece.

[1307] Fuck you, Katie.

[1308] You made $50 million this year, you fucking whore.

[1309] They probably yell at each other and shit.

[1310] Al, you read the fucking weather.

[1311] What do you do?

[1312] What do you do?

[1313] You're pointing shit.

[1314] You think you're talented?

[1315] You think you because you got the black band and you're better?

[1316] I'm a conversationalist.

[1317] You're a fucking side show.

[1318] People tune in to see how much weight you lose.

[1319] Get out of it.

[1320] You know that their managers do that, not them.

[1321] Do you think they bang?

[1322] Could you imagine if Katie Couric and smash by how we're all bang?

[1323] Secrets are being exposed because of the internet.

[1324] I mean, look at this Mel Gibson thing.

[1325] Oh my God, Mel Gibson is awesome.

[1326] Oh, my goodness.

[1327] I love it more than George W. Bush.

[1328] He's like the best hilarious guy ever.

[1329] I love him more than I've ever loved a male celebrity.

[1330] He is hilarious.

[1331] Because he's a train wreck.

[1332] He's a train wreck, but everybody gets to see it.

[1333] So he can, I'm sure he must have been a fucking nightmare to be in a relationship with.

[1334] But I don't think we're getting all the fucking details out of her either.

[1335] I think that bitch is fucking cuckoo for Cocoa Pocop.

[1336] Oh, and Natalie, because, you know, the chicks always will egg a dude on.

[1337] Well, how calm is she?

[1338] She's so calm.

[1339] No, that's why, because she's already done all the work.

[1340] Now she's collected dividends by recording him.

[1341] Here's the deal, ladies, please.

[1342] if anybody talks to you like that don't talk to them just hang up don't ever engage in I understand she's got a kid with them but let's be realistic this this shit didn't start yeah but this shit didn't start recently those kind of screams that motherfucker's been ramping up for years yeah that's years worth of build up to get to that point where that kind of crazy is acceptable you know what I mean like you can't release that cracking on the second day of the relationship, right?

[1343] To get that kind of crazy, you've got to get to know each other for a long ass time to the point where you feel like you could just be completely insane with her.

[1344] You fucking cunt whore.

[1345] I hope you get right by a pack of niggers.

[1346] He just starts talking super crazy talk.

[1347] That's been building up, man. What was like a sex thing between them and it was like role playing and that she took the recordings of.

[1348] Wow.

[1349] And this is like a good, you know what?

[1350] I like his conspiracy theory.

[1351] You fucking bitch and you the whole time he's master being.

[1352] That's why he's had a breath going, You know what he could say If he was like a Jacques Phoenix type dude He could say this is all Performance art Yes Yeah Yeah you're right That's all he has to say He could say it's all performance You know what he could say too He could have a public Apology and say None of this was ever meant to get Get out And I definitely took it too far And I definitely think I got too into character And said some shit That was offensive And I never wanted people to hear it And all I was doing Was exploring this character That I was creating For a new role about a guy who was this very wealthy man with a Russian bride he was trying to kill him and he went crazy.

[1353] So I was exploring this character.

[1354] I apologize.

[1355] And she took it.

[1356] It's way out of contacts.

[1357] Mel, call me. We can work this shit out, son.

[1358] Katie Kirk.

[1359] Call me. I want to fuck you.

[1360] Mayhem and I got it, dude.

[1361] We're going to meet you in Malibu.

[1362] We'll get some sushi at Nobu.

[1363] Hala.

[1364] Dude, I know a guy that can back Twitter.

[1365] My friend Kay works there at Nobu.

[1366] We'll get you together, bro.

[1367] Mel, we got you.

[1368] Dude, back twittering.

[1369] This is.

[1370] Mel, this is all just a misunderstanding.

[1371] This is the character you're working on.

[1372] I know.

[1373] Mayhem knows.

[1374] For sure.

[1375] We got you.

[1376] Didn't it, though, as a crazy person, mayhem?

[1377] Didn't it make you happy that someone was way crazier than you?

[1378] Yeah, yeah.

[1379] Like, I was like, whoa, I would never say some shit like that.

[1380] Like, I get banana sandwich something like fucking flip my lid.

[1381] But I would never like, I don't know.

[1382] Maybe it's just not my character, though.

[1383] Like, I don't lie.

[1384] Like, I wouldn't say anything racist because I would say some crazy shit.

[1385] But I could never bring it to that level where you're like, shit whore cunt then again i don't have any kids so maybe it made him crazy like when a dog has a baby it starts to get super protected well dr drew says and i don't know if dr drew's right but dr drew says that he thinks that what it is is an imbalance he thinks that mel Gibson is something wrong yeah for sure bipolar well because if he's getting hammered all time and then yeah yelling at cops about that was the other thing dr drew said he was talking about um recovery and the fact that mel was in recovery for alcohol and then he might have like fucked up and fell off the wagon so he might like legitimately be crazy yeah you know sounds like it sounds like it right like because that's not normal guy psycho he would hung up after he said his piece Brian you ever met anybody that crazy yeah it's usually thyroid conditions and shit like that but maybe he just got so stuck into the like lethal weapon you met somebody that crazy huh you met so who do you know that's that crazy I made a stripper that crazy you don't have to say names an ex yeah okay okay no no not an ex just a person just a girl I know that I used to work with.

[1386] Okay.

[1387] Oh, that girl.

[1388] The one with the hair.

[1389] Yes, that girl.

[1390] And that girl would get that crazy?

[1391] Huh?

[1392] Well, you could tell it was a irritation brought on by, you know.

[1393] Of course, some chemicals.

[1394] Chemicals stuff, you know?

[1395] Yeah.

[1396] And you could tell it was just one day, it was awesome.

[1397] Other day it was like the worst storm.

[1398] And people that don't have any medical issues are so quick to dismiss that shit.

[1399] Right.

[1400] You know, the bottom line is, man, the body fucks up and sometimes doesn't produce the shit it's supposed to produce right totally yeah i just think uh anytime somebody has uh you know whatever a mental condition and then he and then exacerbates it with alcohol alcohol drugs or whatever maybe he's popping them adderals you know that that'll make a lot of guys who write do adderall apparently yeah because you sit there and super focused and right i try that and i had a flip out like that because the doctor said oh you have a dd oh really i'm just hyperactive really and then he gave me that stuff and for a while I was writing blogs on mayhemmeller .com or writing whatever man out of nowhere I just start flipping out like losing my mind well it's like speed it's methamphetamine salts that's what it's called they didn't even hide the name in a different name it's called methamphetamine salt yeah that's what it's called the generic if you get generic it's methamphetamine salts generic for adderol like whoa they're selling this to kids Brian look that up no I'm not you know I believe you but I want to know I want to Because after it made me crazy, I was like...

[1401] The chemical term is.

[1402] That's insane.

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] I have a friend who's on it.

[1405] Adderall.

[1406] Adderall.

[1407] And, uh, I don't know, technical name.

[1408] Chicks take it all the time.

[1409] Just adderol.

[1410] I mean, I bet in Wikipedia probably tell you.

[1411] I know two model chicks who take that because it kills your appetite.

[1412] Yeah.

[1413] And they just walk around super scrawny and ripped up.

[1414] Oh my God.

[1415] That's so crazy.

[1416] How much B12 do you take per day?

[1417] I probably take a 500 milligrams.

[1418] You sure about that?

[1419] Why?

[1420] He's just being one, Brian I found out of Adderall I like Nia said better I have a buddy who's a comic who's on the Adderall and he says it helps him tremendously He said before Yeah well he's a dude who's He doesn't take care of himself His body, he's in his 40s And he looks like he's falling apart He's just one of those dudes It's just never been real health conscious And he was having issues with energy and focus And they got him on this Adderall shit And now this motherfucker just works his ass off Yeah yeah He could just sit in front of the computer 10 hours at a stretch and write books.

[1421] Hitler gave it to the fighter, the soldiers in his army.

[1422] Hell, what am I talking about?

[1423] Methamphetamines.

[1424] Yeah, methamphetamines.

[1425] There's greenies.

[1426] In the Vietnam era, the greenies, the guys are taking it and going on ruck marches for like two or three days.

[1427] Well, I thought the Japanese invented it.

[1428] I thought they invented it for and then they tested it out on kamikaze pilots.

[1429] What I had read, or maybe I'd had seen a documentary, I don't really remember totally, but it was something on the creation of methamphetamines and it was connected to kamikaze pilots, that that's how they talk those guys into going crazy and slamming their plane into boats is that they were all methed out of their heads which totally makes sense.

[1430] Could you imagine being in war?

[1431] Do you imagine being over there in the Japanese army?

[1432] Being in war and being methed out of your fucking mind surrounded by other dudes meth out of your fucking mind and everyone's got guns.

[1433] Yeah, but you know what?

[1434] Jap dudes are like real serious.

[1435] I lived over there.

[1436] They're like very like focused on everything.

[1437] That is a warrior culture, huh?

[1438] Yeah, yeah.

[1439] I love it over there, man. It's great.

[1440] I love it.

[1441] You're a huge star.

[1442] over there, too.

[1443] You're a much bigger star in Japan than you are in America.

[1444] I wish that I, you know, I could fight over there more, but right now they kind of They fucking love you over there, though.

[1445] You know why?

[1446] Because I make an effort and actually my Rio Chonan, my best buddy, I call him Aniki.

[1447] That means like big brother.

[1448] And he's like my guy and I lived over there and I, like, because of the limited Japanese I can speak, I assimilated with Japanese fighters and I would just be me and, you know, 18 Japanese fighters eating at a sumo restaurant like that is me and a bunch Japanese dudes and I kind of got used to their culture right and kind of got into it like I was like man I'm a Japanese dude right now they're so serious man you know I love that no that's not true but I don't mean about not joking around oh yeah I mean about like their their energy like their warrior spirit they're so fucking driven with it you know it's such an interesting culture the culture that like really appreciates the effort like dudes will lose and get so many fans yeah you know dudes will just fight like a warrior go out your sheep show heart in losses you become more and more popular look at sakaraba it didn't matter how many times he lost nobody ever gave up on him it's like like boxing like if de la hoya gets knocked the fuck out two times in a row nobody's going to go see him fight everyone's going to say hang it up de la hoya but saccaraba dude it doesn't matter how many times he got his egg scrambled people showed up to watch him fight again and they cheered him like they respected him because he's been of those like uh lessner versions where he's getting his ass kicked then come back and win you know i love japan just for k1 i just love that they put on k1 because if it wasn't for japan like real high -level kickboxing especially most big heavyweights and shit there'd be nothing man we're the fuck are anybody putting on shows in america i mean there are moitai shows and shit like that but there's nothing televised you know there's nothing where nobody like that that steam built like the ufc from their negative side where no one had that steam built about kickboxing that anybody cared do kickboxing was like a stupid movie of john It's high -level guys, though, man, it's so fucking exciting.

[1449] I know.

[1450] The P -K -A, that P -K -A -K -A -K -K -A -K -K -K -Rot in the 80s ruined kickboxing in America.

[1451] Because everybody got the concept.

[1452] Bad Brad Hefton and shit, going flippy kicks.

[1453] Yeah, it's like a super, like, D -level athletes doing shit in high pants.

[1454] And there's such a big difference between kickboxing above the waist and kickboxing with leg kicks.

[1455] Yeah.

[1456] You add those leg kicks, it changes the whole fucking band.

[1457] Well, you've got to be way stronger.

[1458] Like, you have to be, like, a strong, tough dude who mentally can take it.

[1459] Because, yo, my legs are sore right now from this morning's training.

[1460] And I only took, like, two with shit pads on.

[1461] Did you see the Hizzo Shamrock fight last weekend, Pedro Hizzo?

[1462] No. But, yeah, I didn't see that.

[1463] Ken Shamrock got smashed by Patriot.

[1464] He stood up with him.

[1465] He stood up with him.

[1466] But he finished him with a leg kick.

[1467] Yeah, man. The final leg kick, he's so, it is so hard to watch, man. You watch it, you just go, ah, because you could feel Pedro with those tree trunk legs.

[1468] Just the bone just slams into Ken's leg.

[1469] And he's been kicking like that for years.

[1470] For years.

[1471] So the Randy Couture fight, Randy had to rehab his legs for six fucking months.

[1472] Oh, I know.

[1473] He has like a weird vein sticking out from that fight.

[1474] So does Randolphin from Pedro Hizzo.

[1475] Both guys from Hizzo.

[1476] Because Hizzo would chop at you so hard with such good technique and he's so fucking big.

[1477] He would jack his legs so bad.

[1478] They would literally never be the same again.

[1479] I'll tell you, you know, as a fighter, one of the rare awesome things that I've seen in my life, like, I just remember the first time I kicked somebody.

[1480] real good in the ribs, I kicked them hard with my shin bone was one of the most amazing feelings because I never knew Muay Thai.

[1481] I moved to California and trained Muay Thai for real and kicked them pads real hard.

[1482] And then I remember the guy came and he threw a left, he threw a jab and I turned and kicked.

[1483] And when my shin went like, it went into his ribs.

[1484] I can feel everything move in there.

[1485] Man, almost unreal feeling of my life because I felt his body changed.

[1486] because what I was doing.

[1487] And I was like, man, and he was, after that point of the fight, he was kind of done.

[1488] Like, he was like, ugh, and then he let me beat him up.

[1489] Like, because I kicked him, I got him a good one in the ribs, and he was done after that because, you know, your body, your body's not meant to go that way.

[1490] Loitai is a way to go.

[1491] There's some kicks from, from Taekwondo that are really effective the guys are using now, like Kongli's bringing back the turning side kick into 360.

[1492] Oh, man, no, Taekwondo dudes in Sparn would piss me off because they're like, you learn how to kick where you're like like it's a hard one but it's so fast and it's not the same as a moitai kick where you're digging through with the whole body and there's more time to prepare it's faster man the guys will piss me up just kick me across the face real quick the best guys are the guys who have the combination of both types of styles they have the ability to throw like taekwendo fast kicks side kicks and turning side kicks but they also have the moitai leg kicks and the moitai defense is important too you know you got to know how to fucking deal with those shins slamming into your arms because those PCA guys, they never got kicked like that.

[1493] Very rarely did a guy get his arm broken to PCA.

[1494] But in like K1, LeBannon broke his arm.

[1495] I mean, Frank Shamrock got his arm broken by company.

[1496] You have to be aware of the leg kicks too.

[1497] So like you're like worrying about oh, this guy's going to kick me the leg where you're right prime range from to kick your arm off and sock.

[1498] It's that, but it's also the shin, you know.

[1499] Those other guys just did not understand the power of the shin.

[1500] Everybody was going in step.

[1501] I understand the power.

[1502] Yeah, but you know, here's what, but if you take away a boy guy's leg kicks, right, and make him fight PK.

[1503] That style of above the waist lends itself for like slap fights.

[1504] Yeah.

[1505] It doesn't turn it to like a real kickboxing match where you got to worry.

[1506] Just another huge element when you add knees and you add those leg kicks.

[1507] Oh, definitely.

[1508] Huge, huge, huge element.

[1509] Because, you know why?

[1510] I thought about a lot and I visualized it a lot.

[1511] And I always like, in my fights, I always feel that, okay, this is the end of my range with my hands.

[1512] And I go, I feel about with my legs, I go, okay, that's the end of my range with my kicks.

[1513] And I figure that out in the first minute or two, and I go, okay, that's where I can play.

[1514] Okay.

[1515] So then, you know, with that kickboxing thing, you got to stand so close to each other and whatnot.

[1516] You can't really get a good dig, you know?

[1517] You can't really get, there wasn't an exciting knockouts.

[1518] It was like a lot of times the guys standing like rock and sock of robots just up kicking at each other.

[1519] I mean, there were some exciting fighters.

[1520] Like Donna Dragon Wilson was really exciting at it.

[1521] I was like a little kid who watched that.

[1522] Dennis Alexio, he fought when they had like leg kick style.

[1523] That was leg kick style.

[1524] Yeah, but there was a transition where they were trying to put like leg kick fights on TV.

[1525] I remember Don Wilson fought Alexio on TV.

[1526] What year was this?

[1527] I don't remember, man. It was back in the Disney, son.

[1528] But Don, Don, the Dragon Wilson fucked up Dennis Alexo with leg kicks.

[1529] Yeah.

[1530] That's how he won that fight.

[1531] Yeah, so, but once you take that away, there's not a big like spot where you can set up to make a hard kick to the up.

[1532] Aren't you surprised, though, that someone hasn't figured out of a way?

[1533] way to do some sort of a K -1 thing in America.

[1534] I know K -1 has had a few fights in America, but how the fuck is that not on TV?

[1535] So, like, whenever that shit's on like the K -1 Grand Prix, I get fired up, man. You see, like, Botter -Hari.

[1536] They put it on there, but, you know, it's one of those things that hasn't broken over to me. Thank God for Mark Cuban and that H -D -Net, man. I watch more M -M -M -A because of H -D -Net than anything else.

[1537] That's a great network.

[1538] I'm just surprised that no one's got a kickboxing league.

[1539] I think kickboxing.

[1540] Chuck Norris got a kickboxing league.

[1541] I went to that shit, son.

[1542] I got a hug by Chuck Norris.

[1543] One of the proudest moments of my life, and I was so pissed.

[1544] I didn't want to go back and say, can I take a picture with you and be all cheesy?

[1545] But Chuck Norris, when he met me, he reached out his hand and gave me this big, giant hug, and he, like, slapped me on the back.

[1546] I'm like, I'm in.

[1547] I'm in.

[1548] Do you understand me?

[1549] I just got love from Chuck Norris.

[1550] Do you remember any details from that day, like that certain smell or a, like a...

[1551] Love?

[1552] I remember love was in the air.

[1553] No, dude, we were at Vegas, and we were at a WCL, one of those world kickboxing leagues or whatever the name of it was.

[1554] It was Vegas or Atlantic City.

[1555] I think it was Vegas.

[1556] I'm not sure.

[1557] Anyway, I just went up and I said to one of the guys that was working there.

[1558] I said, do you think I can meet Chuck Norris?

[1559] And the guy goes, yeah, I'm like, fuck yeah.

[1560] Come on, man. And he just brought me over to Chuck Norris.

[1561] And I was just going to say, sir, I'm a huge fan.

[1562] Very nice to meet you.

[1563] And but Chuck Norris fucking opens his arms.

[1564] Gives me his big giant smile and says, Joe, what's going on, man?

[1565] It gives me this big hug.

[1566] Joe Rogan is so awesome.

[1567] He got a hug from Chuck Norris and live to tell the tale.

[1568] It is beard scratching.

[1569] I was, I wish it did.

[1570] Dude, I was, for real, man, as a kid, I was a huge fucking Chuck Norris fan.

[1571] Enter the Dragon, that fight with Bruce Lee, all the fucking missing in action movies.

[1572] I mean, as dumb as they were.

[1573] Delta Force, are you kidding?

[1574] What was that, lone wolf bequade?

[1575] That was the shit, son.

[1576] Come on, man, with a little David Caradine.

[1577] Extra points.

[1578] Loan Wolf of Bucre.

[1579] Dude, Chuck Norris was the fucking man. So for me to have Chuck Norris recognize me and give me his big hug and call me by name, I was like, oh, shit.

[1580] It's like the best birthday present ever The game has changed Morpheus What, no You don't want to do audio?

[1581] No, that would be fun Ryan, I don't want to talk about that I don't know what you guys are talking about I don't care of stalker character I don't want to give him fuel You know what I'm saying?

[1582] I see you baby Shaking that ass shaking that ass Your dog's giving up on trying to kill the cat Yeah, he's good He settled in a guy just wants to kick it He was ready to fucking engage Yo man he hates squirrels Birds and cats He will fuck some shit up.

[1583] If he can get a hold of it, he'll run.

[1584] I've seen him run into the, into a busy act on Fairfax and LaBray, I mean, Fairfax and third, he ran out into the street after a bird.

[1585] Let me ask you this.

[1586] What do you think about Strike Force?

[1587] Do you like working for them?

[1588] Yeah.

[1589] So cool.

[1590] Everyone's cool with you?

[1591] Yeah, you know, I feel like they, they just have some certain problems that will be fixed as time goes on.

[1592] But, you think if it wasn't for this battle with the Diaz brothers, this thing in post -fight thing with Gilbert Millen does anything?

[1593] Do you think you would be challenging for the title right now?

[1594] Because Jake just abandoned it.

[1595] Yeah.

[1596] You know, I don't know, yeah.

[1597] You had the toughest fight with him.

[1598] Your fight with him was way tougher than Henderson's fight with him.

[1599] It looks, you know, I guess.

[1600] I guess, you know what?

[1601] I shouldn't say that.

[1602] That's not really fair.

[1603] Because Dan came really close to putting him out the first round.

[1604] Yeah, he did.

[1605] Same thing.

[1606] Dan came closer to putting him out, really.

[1607] Jake is such a damn good fighter.

[1608] He, like, Jake's tough as fuck.

[1609] Yeah, he went, fuck it.

[1610] I'm just going to keep going.

[1611] But from that point on, it was a route.

[1612] I mean, Jake.

[1613] I mean, it didn't close.

[1614] I was like, damn.

[1615] It seemed like Dan was having a hard time making weight.

[1616] It didn't seem like the normal Dan.

[1617] Oh, really?

[1618] Yeah, I think 85 is hard for him, man. He looked, he looked like kind of run down.

[1619] Yeah, Dan's a thick dude.

[1620] I think him making 85, you know.

[1621] I disagree with you.

[1622] I know this because I train him.

[1623] He, like, walks around like 197.

[1624] But he doesn't like cutting that weight, man. Well, of course, because, dude, he's fucking 40 years old.

[1625] Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

[1626] I'm saying at that age.

[1627] You know, you get over it.

[1628] I'm sure.

[1629] You get over it.

[1630] You know, he's been cutting making weight since he was what?

[1631] Like, eight?

[1632] What are you doing?

[1633] Nothing.

[1634] He, like, eight years old.

[1635] I know, but when you get to be 40, that's really hard to do.

[1636] Yeah, for sure.

[1637] But Dan, if he catches you with that fucking right hand, God damn, you got problems.

[1638] We all know that.

[1639] That dude's got one missile, man. He knocked out Vanderley with his left.

[1640] Oh, he's got a strong core, and we twist.

[1641] Oh, yeah.

[1642] It's super hard punch.

[1643] Yeah, you got fucking problems, you know?

[1644] I mean, he's not like, you know, a Masato technique striker.

[1645] Yeah, yeah.

[1646] But, God, damn, he's got haymakers.

[1647] But, you know, yeah, maybe I kind of gave Strike Force a Black Eye, you know, I brought some attention to us, but I gave Strike Force a black eye a little bit by by causing that whole drama.

[1648] But did you cause it?

[1649] You didn't want to start a fight.

[1650] I didn't want to start a fight, of course.

[1651] I wanted to go on there ask for my redatch.

[1652] You wanted to hype up a rematch and everybody's on CBS.

[1653] Let's make some money.

[1654] Yeah.

[1655] Let's get everybody fired up and enthusiastic about this, and everybody wins.

[1656] It's not like you were going in there with an angry mean face on, looking to fight them right in there.

[1657] You know what it was was, it's like, I don't know, Does CBS not get it?

[1658] You know, everybody was mad at me. And I'm like, guys, what happened?

[1659] Negative here.

[1660] I got jumped on.

[1661] I didn't get hurt.

[1662] I totally did not understand why you were getting all the blame for that.

[1663] I know.

[1664] It's weird.

[1665] The people who should have got the blame were the people who let you in.

[1666] No one should have let you in.

[1667] That was an oversight.

[1668] They know that now.

[1669] It'll never happen again.

[1670] That's what, you know, running a business is all about.

[1671] No one's perfect.

[1672] But once that said, you know, what it was was, there was too many fucking people in the octagon.

[1673] There was you who was an unwanted person.

[1674] person in the octagon and you were interfering with someone who was getting their glory the whole thing was just badly run it was chaos you get a bunch of fucking dogs together okay and dogs start growling and shit happens you can't get mad at the dogs you know you just can't look I think those guys shouldn't have done that but fuck man you know emotions run high after victories things happen people get crazy and you know and what's the worst that happen they have got jumped on TV yeah you got fucking kicked in the head while you're on the ground I got fine for it and it's suspended I'm like, how long did they suspend you for?

[1675] Three months.

[1676] Three months.

[1677] But if I would have argued with it, it would have been like nine months.

[1678] You can't win.

[1679] You can't win.

[1680] If you win, it sets a precedent.

[1681] I know, yeah.

[1682] When is the last time anybody ever, like, try to get a fight overturned or protested something ever, and it came through?

[1683] Any steroid test, anything?

[1684] Benji Ratic protested some stoppage or something.

[1685] And it worked?

[1686] No, it didn't.

[1687] It never works.

[1688] Nobody.

[1689] Yeah, Benji Rattick protested.

[1690] Scott Smith fight, isn't it?

[1691] Yeah.

[1692] I think it was, he thought it was stopped too soon.

[1693] You know what, man?

[1694] People fuck up, and it's a terrible thing that people fuck up, but once they fuck up, it's very rare than anything that's going to look straight into the future with a positive mindset, and usually, you know, it works out for me. So who do they have lined up for you in October?

[1695] I'm not sure.

[1696] We're trying to put Nick Diaz together.

[1697] Oh, goodness.

[1698] Yeah, a little grudge match.

[1699] So guess what?

[1700] I started a grudge match, and it ended up now they're going to use it.

[1701] You know what I mean?

[1702] okay now we got a grudge match well that would be a hyped up fight damn right so that would be in October do you know where it's going to be at nope no I don't know anything I don't know if it's happening yet but you know I like to rub my mouth off and hopefully make it happen are you bummed out that you don't fight for the UFC no no you're fine with strike you know I got a good deal and whatever and cool yeah the UFC's the biggest show in town and and I understand that but like when you see like you know like chale son and challenging Anderson for the title yeah you look at that shit and said god damn it that I wish, yeah, I wish I could fight Anderson, you know?

[1703] It's like one of those things like right now at this stage of my career, cool.

[1704] If something gets worked out where I could work with them in the future, okay, cool.

[1705] But, you know, right now I have a contract and, you know, I'm generally pretty happy and, you know, whatever.

[1706] How cool are you with Dana?

[1707] Are you and Dana cool?

[1708] I don't know.

[1709] I don't know about she doesn't say hi to me. So I'm like, oh, well, damn, they didn't say hi to me. You're like, what?

[1710] But I don't know.

[1711] Do you think he thinks you're crazy, man, me?

[1712] Yeah, I think he thinks I'm crazy.

[1713] And I don't blame them because by action, you are crazy.

[1714] Yeah, I'm crazy, but I'm pretty controlled.

[1715] And if I can get on the same page as somebody, we can be crazy.

[1716] I'll be the crazy guy and you make some money.

[1717] Yeah, we'll both make money.

[1718] How long do you think Billy Beatown is going to go on?

[1719] Man, way too long.

[1720] I think I'll be old man. Yeah, dude.

[1721] That's a juggernaut.

[1722] God, I thought it wasn't.

[1723] And then I did the third season.

[1724] I recorded it all, and it'll be released.

[1725] Do you know how crazy it would be if you were on bully beatdown?

[1726] and on the ultimate fighter at the same time.

[1727] Bro, I already have too much TV in time as it is right now.

[1728] You can't take it?

[1729] Yeah.

[1730] No, I like it.

[1731] I don't mind.

[1732] But what I'm saying is, I don't know, people get sick of mayhem.

[1733] No one's going to get sick of you mayhem.

[1734] Don't worry about that fellow.

[1735] All right.

[1736] We're here for you.

[1737] All right.

[1738] Just take a little bit less B12.

[1739] Yeah.

[1740] No, man. What is it about the B12?

[1741] It gives you energy.

[1742] You think you're taking too much B12?

[1743] Yes, I'm good.

[1744] You know what?

[1745] I've dating this girl.

[1746] Niasin fucking freaks me out, man. Oh, man, he burned your whole body.

[1747] Man, you know what?

[1748] I got used to it now and I like it.

[1749] I like it a little bit too.

[1750] Like it's burning my whole body, but I like it.

[1751] I'm dating his girl got me all the vitamins and whatnot.

[1752] And man, I'm like, this is the best thing that happened to me. That's very important, man. Supplements, it's amazing to think that you never took them.

[1753] You know what?

[1754] I just started taking supplements like this year.

[1755] I never took supplements.

[1756] I was just like, whatever.

[1757] Wow.

[1758] That's crazy.

[1759] It's stupid than what it is because I didn't think.

[1760] Yeah, I didn't think that it was that important.

[1761] But, man, I feel a marked difference.

[1762] Well, you know, what it is, it's marked, marketed, rather, if you, you know, listen to, like, people, like doctors tell you, all you need is a multivitam and all that stuff is nonsense.

[1763] You know, why it's because it's not FDA approved.

[1764] Oh, it's not approved.

[1765] Well, it doesn't mean, just because it's not approved, doesn't mean it doesn't work.

[1766] Right.

[1767] There's a lot of anecdotal evidence for people that are taking it that are having pretty positive results.

[1768] There's, like, neutropics that I take that make your brain work better.

[1769] There's a whole bunch of it out.

[1770] Give me some of that.

[1771] Yeah.

[1772] Yeah, I got some.

[1773] I'll write you down a list of all the different shit.

[1774] Reservatrol.

[1775] Well, that's an excellent antioxidant.

[1776] But there's a bunch of different things that are designed.

[1777] Look up new tropics, designed just to increase cerebral activity.

[1778] You know, you're talking about that, and I think that we live in a culture where it's not about living better, really.

[1779] It's about just living above the death line.

[1780] Like, nobody wants to really think about it.

[1781] Yeah, nobody wants to be premium.

[1782] Yeah, nobody wants to be a feeling fantastic.

[1783] Yeah, it's like, you know, I had a conversation.

[1784] No, feeling fantastic is bad and wrong.

[1785] That's why you're not allowed to smoke pot anywhere but California.

[1786] Well, there's that, you know, how about men, how much does it drive you crazy when dudes who don't work out will talk shit on exercise and the importance of keeping your body healthy?

[1787] Yeah.

[1788] It's just a dumbest conversation.

[1789] Ignorant view where a lot of people are ignorant and then they take pride in their ignorance.

[1790] Yeah, it's like, dude, when your body works better, your brain feels better.

[1791] It all works better.

[1792] The whole thing flows better.

[1793] So true.

[1794] But nobody wants to admit that that's their issue Nobody wants to admit that their lack of exercise and everything No, no, no, no, no, I don't need nobody needs to work out What I don't want to?

[1795] Comics are fucking famous for that kind of shit Comics are always bitching and whining And they just want to sleep till three And don't do anything constantly That shit is so important for you, man Yeah, well, I just think the people in general It's easier to be lazy and then bitch about it Because that's funny and you get positive reinforcement From people laughing at that Like, ha ha, yeah, I hate working out too.

[1796] Yeah.

[1797] Yeah, there's a little bit of that.

[1798] Misery loves company, you know.

[1799] But I had a conversation with a dude once where he was talking about, like, what's the point in exercise and what's the point working out?

[1800] I go, all right, if I could give you a pill and this pill would give you a super powerful body, like ridiculous, much more powerful than normal person.

[1801] You could literally take the normal man and strangle him at will.

[1802] You could take him, manhandle him, treat him like a girl, and choke him to death.

[1803] If I give you a pill that would give you that, wouldn't you take it?

[1804] Wouldn't you want to have that power?

[1805] I mean, wouldn't you want to have this superpower?

[1806] I'll give you a pill, and it turns you into an assassin.

[1807] And I'm like, well, you can have that stupid.

[1808] All I have to do is work out.

[1809] If you train and you do some kettlebells, get really good at a gym.

[1810] It's way different than a pill.

[1811] No, it's not.

[1812] It's just discipline.

[1813] When were you working as a salesman at 24 -hour fitness?

[1814] I don't understand that.

[1815] Legends, legends in Hollywood.

[1816] They've got me on the 10th Planet Jiu -Jitsu affiliation program.

[1817] I'm trying to sign people up.

[1818] You enjoy working out, though, where a lot of people don't enjoy working.

[1819] You know what I enjoy.

[1820] I enjoy Jiu -Jitsu because Jiu -Situ to me is like, it's an awesome distraction.

[1821] I got so much going on in my life.

[1822] When I get into J -Jitsu and I'm rolling with some dude and we are just trying to kill each other, you know?

[1823] I'm trying to choke him.

[1824] He's trying to choke me. We are battling.

[1825] We're pacing ourselves.

[1826] I know what this motherfucker's doing.

[1827] He keeps going for the deep half sweep.

[1828] I got to keep that underhook.

[1829] I got to stop him.

[1830] There's like this battle going on.

[1831] And when that battle's going on, man, I don't think about shit else.

[1832] I'm not thinking about I need to clean my office.

[1833] I'm not thinking about I need to call that dude about this thing.

[1834] I need to get my shit together and write this new material.

[1835] No, I'm just doing jujitsu.

[1836] I'm in that zone because it's so difficult to do.

[1837] It puts you in the zone.

[1838] And it's like a fun fucking game.

[1839] Yeah, while we're on it, you need to clean your office, bro.

[1840] A little bit, right?

[1841] Yeah, if you only had the passion with cleaning.

[1842] You know, give those.

[1843] I like the clean.

[1844] I like the vacuum.

[1845] I love Windex.

[1846] Pines all.

[1847] Yeah.

[1848] That's a new show, dude, the fucking agro cleaning guy.

[1849] I fucking love shit.

[1850] Hey, you're telling me that Mr. Clean's not on juice.

[1851] that guy.

[1852] He lost all his hair.

[1853] He's Jack.

[1854] Eddie J. He looks like Christoph Sizzynski.

[1855] He does.

[1856] He does, right?

[1857] With no tattoos.

[1858] No tattoos.

[1859] He's all swollen shit.

[1860] Christoph is a fucking sculpted specimen.

[1861] Yeah, he is, right?

[1862] I'm like, how the hell do you look like that?

[1863] God damn specimen!

[1864] Cool, motherfucker, too.

[1865] Yep.

[1866] Him and his girl.

[1867] Hung out with them in England.

[1868] Cool shit.

[1869] Crystal was on the ultimate fighter for people who don't know.

[1870] Super nice guy.

[1871] That's the thing about MMA that people don't realize is how many nice people there are that are involved in it.

[1872] And in martial arts in general, like some of the nicest people I know.

[1873] know are dudes that have fought and dudes that train because you have like a better control of your ego you're like you know you're just you used to getting your ass kicked you used to you used to finding out your real boundaries by by breaking yourself down you know by getting to the point where you know you you literally can't fucking breathe you literally are in class and when and when everyone says time and you you dropped your back you know you literally you're broken whereas other people they don't they hardly ever experienced that they don't experience the boundaries of their of their drive the boundaries of their discipline you know so like the people that i've met that are like fighters like some of the coolest fucking people you ever meet in your life you know they have to show their ass the world man it's definitely uh you got to drop you got to whoever you are comes out in the cage like you have to really be yourself for a second and you have to deal with the pain and you're like oh my god i don't want to be a bitch and dad you never loved me and shit like that goes through your head you know like it's not you You know, you have to confront these real fears and real.

[1874] You have to confront everything.

[1875] And I say all of you guys out there in cyberspace be a cage fighter, just for a day.

[1876] And there's growth in that.

[1877] There's growth in that confrontation.

[1878] You know, when you understand your boundaries and you hit them, you know, you get to know yourself better.

[1879] You get to know yourself better than the average dude who doesn't do shit with his body.

[1880] You know, there's something about doing something really difficult, willpower -wise with your body, like training.

[1881] Yeah.

[1882] And especially training in jiu -jitsu and shit.

[1883] Well, like, there's battles, man. There's sometimes, you know, a guy's got your back and you're defending and you know you can just tap out and this is going to be over.

[1884] But the other side of your brain is going, no, we're going to gut this out as long as we possibly can.

[1885] And there's that, like, fence that you're dancing on where you're like, let me just tap right here, fuck this.

[1886] But it's so uncomfortable and so difficult to get through, but your willpower allows you to survive.

[1887] And then you get through it and you're like, motherfucker, I got through that.

[1888] I thought I was gone.

[1889] I thought I was gone.

[1890] I'm on top.

[1891] Oh, shit, and now I'm passing.

[1892] You know, it's like this overcoming of adversity, a lot of people never experienced that, especially, like, physically, where your mind has to control your body through some uncomfort, you know?

[1893] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

[1894] I guess you could get the same effect from, like, I don't know, run a marathon or do, you know, do something.

[1895] Anything physically where you have to push your body, the mind and the willpower have to control the body.

[1896] I think it's much more difficult when you're doing it in a competition like MMA or anything like boxing or jujitsu, anything where it's a dude is trying to kill you you know then it's much more difficult yeah definitely but shit man think about the kind of willpower that's involved in tour de France I know unbelievable those guys are just pedaling just pumping their legs just doing the same movement discipline god damn when I look at like Lance Armstrong I go that must be the most boring intense motherfucker alive you know because he does some boring ass shit he's just pedaling I mean it's not boring I mean obviously they're racing and it's awesome countries side and shit and there's all this attention and all's energy but they're doing the same thing for days.

[1897] That shit takes days.

[1898] It's like who's the most boring intense motherfucker on earth?

[1899] Let's find out.

[1900] Everybody get together, get on a bike.

[1901] You have the same thing for like accounting or something.

[1902] Just have the fucking accounting Olympics.

[1903] The guy's just adding fucking bills up for fucking six days straight.

[1904] Yeah, there's something about that like sheer tests of discipline that are so uncomfortable for me. You know, I have, you know, because as a fighter I have like, you know, some serious discipline to get inside the room and fight with other guys for, you know, at least an hour.

[1905] Like, I'm doing that for at least an hour a day.

[1906] And pretty much my entire life, I've done that.

[1907] The other side, I can't fill out a fucking form without getting distracted.

[1908] Like, I'm, like, sitting there, house application was the funniest thing I've ever done because I'm sitting there like, motherfucker.

[1909] If you put one more paper in my face, I'm going to slap your fucking notary public face off.

[1910] You know, I like, God, it's like all day just sitting there.

[1911] I hated it.

[1912] That's funny.

[1913] It's a different mindset, I guess.

[1914] It's a different kind of discipline.

[1915] So I'm very, like, when I look at a lawyer or whatever, I'm like, wow, you fucking look at papers and read shit all day.

[1916] Dude, I am the exact same way.

[1917] I'm a retard when it comes to, like, filling out forums and shit.

[1918] And I get under, like, page 10, I feel like someone's hitting me. No, no. It's that.

[1919] Someone's drowning me. Like, stop.

[1920] This is boring.

[1921] And I think what it is, is like, you don't want to think, you don't want to put your brain on that low an RPM where you just.

[1922] Reading this and reading that And making sure this is okay And making sure that's okay Tell that to every teacher That I fucking have worked with You know Square pegs in round holes, man That's what it is You know The big fucking problem with teachers Is they're trying to turn everybody Into a robot That assumes a job out there in the world And there's people with unique personalities That could be artists And no one recognized that Whether it's a martial artist Or a fucking singer or a comedian No one looks at that as a viable path For a job You know, so teachers want you to be able to get a job.

[1923] They want you to do, you know, what it takes to, you know, get a job at some company and move on.

[1924] Well, let's be honest, I, most people, that's what they're going to do.

[1925] Yeah, that's what you have to do.

[1926] I mean, you can't cater, you can't cater most schoolwork to anyone who's an artist.

[1927] But there should be some way to recognize when someone's unusual.

[1928] There should be some way to recognize.

[1929] And part of it is that the kids don't have any discipline and that's where they're fucking going squirrelly and that's why they can't read and probably their home life.

[1930] But you're not going to fix that, okay?

[1931] You could try to square out that fucking round peg and shove them into that hole.

[1932] Yeah, man. But you're only going to get so far.

[1933] You know, but then you're trying to say, okay, let's take all the wacky kids and put them in a special class.

[1934] And let's take all these kids who are definitely going to be construction workers, put them in this class.

[1935] No, I don't think that.

[1936] I think there should be other opportunities.

[1937] There should be, like, some people don't want to be comedians.

[1938] You know, some people don't want to be singers.

[1939] But there should be some sort of, like, an avenue that you find is interesting.

[1940] And you can go towards it in school.

[1941] You know what I'm saying?

[1942] But there's no viable option for class clowns, no viable options for disruptive kids.

[1943] But disruptive kids have something.

[1944] There's something there.

[1945] First of all, it's a terrible thing.

[1946] It's undisciplined.

[1947] It fucks up the school for the rest of kids.

[1948] And it's because one kid is imbalanced.

[1949] Because one kid probably didn't get enough attention at home.

[1950] Or one kid had an abusive family.

[1951] And this is the way he learned how to get attention by lashing out and focusing attention on himself.

[1952] That said, you got a kid who's willing to do some crazy shit that other kids aren't willing to do now.

[1953] Yeah.

[1954] Okay, so you're not going to fix him.

[1955] You can teach him about the consequences of him doing that and how he's fucking it up for everybody else and that creates bad energy and this is where we're going to focus your energy, but you're not going to take away that energy.

[1956] That crazy energy that some people have.

[1957] It just needs to be focused.

[1958] Yeah, that was me, man. I was the kid in high school that was like, if you just applied yourself, Jason, if you just, well, I did.

[1959] I heard there's a completely different direction.

[1960] I did fighting.

[1961] I started writing.

[1962] But that's what people don't understand.

[1963] You apply yourself in that way.

[1964] somehow I know that that's not valid.

[1965] Like, because, you know, art there.

[1966] No, it doesn't fall into an archetype.

[1967] Yeah, for me it was art. I used to draw a lot and martial arts.

[1968] So those were the two things.

[1969] And neither one of them seemed like any sort of a viable career option.

[1970] You know, there was no money in martial arts.

[1971] You didn't think of animation being a cartoonist?

[1972] Because that's what I thought, either a cartoonist or doing radio.

[1973] So the whole time I'm going to school, I'm like, you know, I don't fucking care about math history.

[1974] I'm just going to sleep because I don't care about any of this.

[1975] I'm never going to use it.

[1976] I kind of knew that the whole time.

[1977] I don't think I ever thought about animation.

[1978] No. Why did you think about animation?

[1979] Because I was like a huge Disney fan, cartoon fan.

[1980] Oh, really?

[1981] Yeah, yeah.

[1982] Meow was more comic books.

[1983] I loved comic books.

[1984] Yeah, comic books too.

[1985] That's how I got into it.

[1986] Yeah, I definitely had aspirations to be a comic book artist.

[1987] We talked about this on one of the earlier podcasts, but I just had a really douchey art teacher in high school, and he had me convinced that I was going to have to draw, like, diaper ads and shit, and that things are going to be boring.

[1988] You know what?

[1989] So many people have bad teachers.

[1990] I mean, he wasn't a bad teacher.

[1991] He's just a bad socially.

[1992] He was a beaten man with no. spine.

[1993] He had a weak will and he didn't like being around me. I was this martial arts fighter.

[1994] This kid who was fighting in, you know, Taekwondo tournaments.

[1995] I always had like Taekwendo championship t -shirts on and shit.

[1996] I was so proud that I won all these Taekwondo tournaments.

[1997] So I would wear Taekwondo shit everywhere.

[1998] Because that was the first thing I was ever any good at.

[1999] You know what?

[2000] In high school, I knew that kid.

[2001] He was the karate champion.

[2002] Bro, I begged that when I was like 16, I begged him to spar.

[2003] Hey, man, can he smart?

[2004] And I didn't realize that I was scaring him.

[2005] Because he's like, I was like, yeah, yeah.

[2006] No, we're going to fight.

[2007] You can kick me and use your karate, and I know how to wrestle.

[2008] I'm going to try to fight you, and then we'll see who wins.

[2009] And I'm telling this to this kid who's sitting there like, like, fuck that.

[2010] I found out the future of MMA when I was 15 years old when I was a sophomore in high school.

[2011] Actually, I think I was 14.

[2012] My friend Stephen Arduino was on the wrestling team.

[2013] He was a good wrestler.

[2014] And I wasn't wrestling.

[2015] I was just doing Taekwondo.

[2016] We were really good friends.

[2017] We were always talking about, like, you know, like, yeah, if you fight, I'd just fucking take you down a punch in the face.

[2018] I'd be like, bitch you can't take me down.

[2019] And so we went out in the.

[2020] grass and this motherfucker took me down over and over again.

[2021] It was so sad because it was so easy for him to take him.

[2022] I know.

[2023] I had no wrestling at all.

[2024] I had no, I'd never even thought about wrestling someone except like fucking around with my friends and he just would fucking stand in front of me, put his hand in my face, shoot a double, bang, I'd be on my back.

[2025] You kept trying to kick him and stuff?

[2026] No, no, no. No, no. It was just me stopping.

[2027] We were friends.

[2028] It was just me stopping him from taking me down.

[2029] I had no chance.

[2030] You know how I got to mix martial arts, right?

[2031] My fat, chubby friend named Pierre, showed me the UFC, the early ones, with the fucking head butts and everything and showed me like Valitudo Brazil and he's like and showed me the newer UFCs at the time like it was 90 I don't know 95 or 6 he showed me those and like Pedro or Marco Huas versus Paul Barlin Oh and I was like yeah First time we ever saw leg kick Yeah exactly so I was like man I was like oh I could do this And he's like Do you want to spar me?

[2032] And I'm like you mean fight in the backyard And he's like yeah yeah yeah We'll spar you know We'll wear predict extra man I'm like this guy was this guy a martial artist I'm gonna kill you I'm like I thought are you see you know Bubba I beat Bubba's ass in the front yard this giant fat black kid he's like 300 pounds he's like the scariest dude I beat the shit out of him because I knew how to fight like I would I would always spar around with my dad so I knew how to box and stuff and whatever he we go out in the backyard we said I had this breakdancing mat that I had we laid that down on top of the grass so we had it some padding because I knew I was going to fuck him off.

[2033] Man, we squared off in our hockey chest protectors.

[2034] He fucking spin kicked me in my breadbasket.

[2035] I was like, ooh, I'd never been kicked like that.

[2036] I was like, oh my God.

[2037] So I went to the Miller, the Miller standby.

[2038] And it's the move.

[2039] I always did.

[2040] My dad taught me it.

[2041] It worked all the time.

[2042] One, two.

[2043] And if that never to knock him down on the ground, you grab his head, which I did, and threw him down on the ground.

[2044] I did that and started fucking wailing on him.

[2045] Like, I was like, I'm winning.

[2046] I'm winning.

[2047] I'm going.

[2048] win it he starts wiggling around and shit and the next thing i know he locked me up and i'm fucking waking up in my backyard looking at the trees like quiet like and he's looking down at me and i'm like oh my god he's like wow that was a triangle choke and that i learned that in gracy jihitsu that was the first time i ever did that to somebody i'm like fuck i get to learn this shit he's tiny he beat my ass just decided to fight yeah my dad was looking out the window laughing at me like you fucking idiot I'm like man I was sleeping you know like I was like I never knew that there was some magical shit once we're on the ground I just figured it's like I wrestle a little bit in high school and I figured you know until I realized you have to wear those tight ass pants and I quit and then and I was like wow he just he beat me he was on his back I was winning I was winning and I saw that on I saw hoist Gracie do it but I was like yeah right it's just because he's wearing the stupid pajamas it's such a fun thing to be able to do to You know, you don't realize how powerful jiu -jitsu is.

[2049] Oh, you don't know how crazy wrestling is.

[2050] When you get a nightclub altercation and you, like, push somebody off balance, like, oh, my God.

[2051] They look like Bambi on the ice.

[2052] Their feet are all slipping.

[2053] Especially if they have, like, leather shoes on.

[2054] Oh, man, you're on the floor.

[2055] Those leather shoes are so ridiculous.

[2056] Like, wearing leather shoes is just going out like in handcuffs.

[2057] I wear, like, pro wrestling boots when I go out to the club.

[2058] Yeah, yeah.

[2059] No doubt.

[2060] Pro wrestling all day, at least up to the knee.

[2061] Wait a minute, for real?

[2062] Get out of.

[2063] No, you wear pro wrestling shoes?

[2064] No, no, I wear, I call it pro wrestling boots because, dude, they're like, they're called jump.

[2065] But you weren't, no, they think about that, though, right?

[2066] They're tennis shoes, but they look like classy -ass -ass -ass -ass -ass -all, and then they lace up to, like, super high.

[2067] Chicks love them.

[2068] When I was young, I was so stupid.

[2069] Every time I bought a pair of pants, I would have to make sure that I could kick somebody in the head.

[2070] I would, like, practice type window kicks with my fucking pants on, just to make sure if some shit goes down, I'm going to make sure I can.

[2071] No, you know, yo, you know my old man. He was an army for years, 20 years, stuff like that.

[2072] And he was like a legit motherfucker, like went to war and kill people, whatever.

[2073] He's like kind of bad.

[2074] He's an old fucking fat bastard now.

[2075] But he, and he went to Korea, you know, to like, I don't know, whatever, training or whatever.

[2076] And he had to post up at the Korean border, you know, like they do that over there.

[2077] He's there.

[2078] He tells me when he comes back, and I'm like 11, he's telling me this story.

[2079] Man, boy, I was in a bar out there.

[2080] this little Chinese guy I'm like dad you're in Korea little Chinese guy got into it with me kicked me in the fucking face I'm like what what do you mean he fell down he's like no he kicked me in the face he bought me a Taekwondo uniform but you need to practice this and I was like I don't know like 10 and I went to Taekwondo because of that story my dad got kicked in a face by a Taekwondo guy That's hilarious yeah I can imagine your dad looking out the window laughing while you're unconscious Over the sink over the sink and he's laughing at me ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and i'm like damn but you need a dad like that to become a jason mayhem miller a regular dad a regular dad is not going to make a guy like you no i know it's not possible you know i remember the brazilians uh when i was doing tournaments all the time when i was real young 18 19 the brazilians got a crazy story of me because i would always tell these stories where me and my dad will fight whatever and we'd get into it and or we'd spar around and we'd start off as a joke and it would get real like we'd fucking really fight and i would tell the stories to the Brazilians, and then it got a story like, man, I heard that Jason Miller, his dad would hit him with beer bottles to make him tougher.

[2081] I'm like, what?

[2082] The most American Indian sound of Brazilian accent ever.

[2083] You sound like fucking Tonto and shit.

[2084] In the great winter, Eagles came from north.

[2085] My bad.

[2086] Flew with breeze.

[2087] My accent sucks, but you get the point.

[2088] The guy was like, yeah, everybody thought that my dad beat the shit out of me. He did, but like, it was a lot of times it was like, I remember we were like getting into it in the kitchen and I was like fucking fighting with them and then he grabbed me around and like it was we didn't call a rearnaker choke it was a sleeper hold he got me in a sleeper hold and I was like choking and I wouldn't quit and he's like boy tap out boy tap out you know and I was like I don't 14 15 and I was like he's choking me and choking me and I was like fuck that I'm not going to tap out you know and and I just remember finally you let me go because he's like ah that's enough but it was too late I remember reaching for the refrigerator handle and then waking up in condiments.

[2089] Like I put me out.

[2090] I was like covered in like the fucking mayonnaise and shit mustard.

[2091] I'm like, and he's laughing because I, and my mom's like, what are you doing?

[2092] And I was like, dad choked me out.

[2093] Like that he was laughing.

[2094] Oh yeah.

[2095] Was this an actual fight fight?

[2096] Or was this like just playing?

[2097] We're playing.

[2098] We're playing.

[2099] But listen, man, in redneck culture you have to understand that there's a line that's drawn like your plan and then you're not really playing anymore.

[2100] And then it comes from one step for somebody biting somebody or something like that.

[2101] Like it gets.

[2102] Some people get shot.

[2103] Yeah, exactly.

[2104] You know, and I can understand that.

[2105] I'm not, I'm proud.

[2106] I'm proud that I came from such a strange background.

[2107] Like, I don't care.

[2108] Like, I'm a professional fighter.

[2109] I'm not a goddamn kindergarten teacher.

[2110] One time my dad threw a jolly rancher at me and hit me in the eye.

[2111] God, you're homosexual.

[2112] Did you eat it?

[2113] No, it hurt.

[2114] Did you cry?

[2115] No, I didn't cry.

[2116] No, I didn't cry.

[2117] Eat it while you're crying?

[2118] It stung.

[2119] Just look him in the eyes and eat it while tears rolled on your face.

[2120] What did you do to get a jolly rancher to the eyepie?

[2121] Fucking stung.

[2122] He missed, he totally overthrew.

[2123] it and hit me right now.

[2124] Wait, he was throwing it to you?

[2125] Yeah, they're like, yeah.

[2126] Oh, God, his story's even worse.

[2127] No, there's no even abuse in this story.

[2128] No, his dad's got a hard underhand, dude.

[2129] It's stung.

[2130] It's a vicious.

[2131] Vicious wrist action.

[2132] He played softball in college, right?

[2133] Yeah, it was underhand as a motherfucker.

[2134] You ever see those chicks that throw, like, a wicked softball underhand?

[2135] You ever see the rubber band thing that makes them throw harder?

[2136] Yeah, yeah, saw it on late -night TV.

[2137] Yeah, always.

[2138] Who the hell?

[2139] Why are softball players watching ESPN?

[2140] How fast can they throw that underhand?

[2141] I don't know, probably like 60 miles an hour But the thing is they could do it all day It's like a way more natural movement than like a regular pitcher Like a pitcher, that shit blows your shoulder out But this shit doesn't blow your shoulder out at all I don't know if it's that they're throwing it harder I think it's the mechanism of moving your arm that way Are you saying that there will be some kid from Little League up Who's been taught underhand And think about this with a big juiced out arm He could throw that shit super hard I wonder because it doesn't seem like Girls can do that shit all day and it doesn't blow their arm out.

[2142] But I think there's something about throwing like that.

[2143] I think you can get more velocity, especially naturally, but I think it blows your shoulder out.

[2144] I have like flexible tendons and shit, like a real flexible.

[2145] When I throw a fucking baseball, my arm building is going to blow out of its socket.

[2146] My dad, the same thing.

[2147] He got out of Ranger School.

[2148] He didn't make it through Ranger School.

[2149] He couldn't throw the fucking grenade right.

[2150] Same shit.

[2151] Wow.

[2152] The bad shoulder.

[2153] And when he talks about flexible tenens, you could see that shit online.

[2154] If you watch his fight, was it super raw?

[2155] All my fights, man. All my fights, I eventually.

[2156] Egan Inouye.

[2157] He twisted my arm backwards.

[2158] I was like, oh, my God, he's going to break it off.

[2159] And I just tupped it out.

[2160] And then I got up.

[2161] And I was like, oh, it's good.

[2162] And I just went and bashed the guy with that same hand that he was twisted.

[2163] It's the most ridiculous Camorra defense ever.

[2164] You've rolled.

[2165] Like, how many times did you roll?

[2166] Oh, man, so many.

[2167] I was like, I didn't even know how I'm going to go.

[2168] Egan Inouye, who's this badass juets juxtu black belt, bad motherfucker, Yoakedish fuckless.

[2169] Yeah, he was legendary.

[2170] When I was fighting him, I was like, damn, this guy's a legend.

[2171] You fought him in Hawaii, too.

[2172] And where they hated me. They were like telling me to die, howly die.

[2173] I'm like, oh.

[2174] But dude, you know, Hawaii is a crazy -ass place.

[2175] Also one of the most peaceful people ever.

[2176] Hawaiians?

[2177] Hawaiians are all just all about love and peace.

[2178] They're like hippies that live in their own island.

[2179] Hawaiians beat the fuck out of each other.

[2180] Well, they do it.

[2181] They do in movies.

[2182] No, no, no, no. There's definitely.

[2183] There's definitely.

[2184] definitely parts of people, but the Hawaiian community as a whole, I think...

[2185] Well, people are friendly, but that doesn't mean that they don't beat the fuck out of each other.

[2186] People beating the crap out of the...

[2187] No, no, no, but what I'm saying is Hawaii, people in Hawaii are notorious for wanting to fight.

[2188] It's like a part of their culture.

[2189] If you go online, there's all these backyard fights.

[2190] Hawaiian backyard fights, dude, there are so many of them.

[2191] There's thousands of them.

[2192] Beach fights and backyard fights.

[2193] Where dudes meet after school, kids meet after school, and they just have MMA fights, They're knuckle, they just duke it out on the grass.

[2194] In Hawaii, it's super common.

[2195] Would you say that if you talk to most people, like, how was your trip to Hawaii, they brought up?

[2196] Yeah, but you're going to the resort and, you know, it's tourism.

[2197] Oh, I'll tell you a story about that.

[2198] The first time I fought in Superbrawl, here's a perfect example.

[2199] Okay.

[2200] Now, the first time I fought in Superbrow, I got cut above the eye and it was walking around Waikiki.

[2201] And some kid was like, hey, man, you that guy, huh?

[2202] From Superbrall, huh?

[2203] And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up, dude?

[2204] And he's like, oh, bro, what's up?

[2205] Oh, man. Yeah, man, man, I'm talking.

[2206] I'm tough.

[2207] And I'm like, oh, cool, bro.

[2208] He's like 16 years old, 15 years old.

[2209] Some fat white tourist is walking down.

[2210] He's like, watch this.

[2211] And he walks over and bends down like he's tying his shoe.

[2212] And he's like, look at his peripheral vision, see this guy walking.

[2213] He stands up and the guy bumps into him.

[2214] Oh, sorry, man. This Hawaiian kid starts beating the shit out of him.

[2215] He's like, you know, he's so young that it's not really hurting him.

[2216] Like, not really hurting the guy, but the guy's like, oh, stop.

[2217] And he's got a buddy with him.

[2218] doesn't help him at all.

[2219] The kid starts in Hawaiian, you call it false cracking the guy.

[2220] It's a sucker punch.

[2221] He like gets up and sucker punch the guy.

[2222] He grabs on his backpack and starts jump kicking him, jump kicking him, jump.

[2223] The guy starts running up and he goes, ah, this is my first trip to Hawaii.

[2224] I was like, ha ha ha ha.

[2225] I was like, oh, my God, Hawaiian people are crazy.

[2226] You remember forgetting Sarah Marshall?

[2227] I think so.

[2228] The movie's forgetting Sarah Marshall, there was the bartender who was super cool to him.

[2229] Yeah, that was the part of the movie I was talking about when I said, maybe from the movies.

[2230] That's what I was talking about No but afterwards a guy Kicks his ass That's like real life Yeah well I mean Why is that I've never heard any of my Anyone ever say go I went to Hawaii dude There was fucking fights Brian but you're talking about Going to Hawaii where you go to resorts Yeah come on vacation Not necessarily Do you go hang out with Go hang out with BJ Penn The nicest people ever But I go up to Tijuana I bet you they'll try to gut me You know what I'm Dude when you talk to BJ Penn Like BJ Penn Talks about growing up in Hawaii It's always says There's nothing to do Everybody just fights I'm just saying if you're in that road it's definitely more, you know, in your face than, like, if most people go into the store in a suburban neighborhood in Hawaii, you know, or something like that.

[2231] Dude, no one's saying that Hawaii people are douchebags.

[2232] No, no, no, it's a bad place to live.

[2233] No, no, no, I can explain that.

[2234] They like to fight.

[2235] I live there, too.

[2236] It's kind of a culture that, oh, wow, you want to throw down.

[2237] So why?

[2238] You want to cry?

[2239] And there's a mutual, like, let's fight.

[2240] Nobody shoots each other.

[2241] Right, right, right, right.

[2242] It's like, let's fight, we'll fight, and then we'll end it out, oh, he kicked his ass.

[2243] And then you get the coconut wireless.

[2244] everybody knows about it he kicked his ass and that's you know it's just the culture you know and I think that that's where BJ Penn came out of you know BJ Penn came out of that that sort of you know that kind of competition is what started his MMA career that he was this bad motherfucker that would step to anybody and fight anybody he took pride in that you know and that's why he became an MMA champ you know when you're stuck on a fucking island like the big island and they ain't that much people and everyone's just jammed in together on this rock you know tensions run high oh man I live there too it's a strange, strange, different place because you're on this tiny island and it's small.

[2245] Because even though it's a million people, whatever, whatever circles you run in are tight -knit because everybody knows everybody.

[2246] Right.

[2247] So there must be a lot of bullshit between like dudes and girls.

[2248] Oh, my God.

[2249] Epic amounts.

[2250] I would imagine because everybody knows everybody.

[2251] You're like, that dude's fucking her.

[2252] Like when someone breaks up, they break up and then she goes out with someone you know.

[2253] You're fucking some dude that went to high school with that other guy.

[2254] Like, it's so weird.

[2255] It's weird.

[2256] That causes tensions.

[2257] Painful.

[2258] And you lived on the.

[2259] big island or no i lived on hawahu yeah it's like the main island isn't it crazy that though the smaller it's not a big it's not that big it's like the boat it's like the both i don't know why it's the it was the the biggest one that developed quickest it's so weird when i most of the times when i got to hawai i went to the big island i went to maui i went to uh oh i went to uh oh i went to um what's the other one is a little small one i forget which mollukai no oh uh no i have no lanai lanai lanai i was like god damn like a city.

[2260] It is.

[2261] It's not, it's America.

[2262] It's America on wheels.

[2263] It's America in paradise, though.

[2264] Yeah.

[2265] America, it's the weirdest city ever.

[2266] It's like a fucking Blade Runner movie.

[2267] Yeah.

[2268] It's like, here you are in this city with this incredibly beautiful weather, with this amazing ocean.

[2269] Like, you are right there.

[2270] It's a city somehow another, but it's not that polluted.

[2271] Yeah.

[2272] You know, the ocean is not that polluted.

[2273] Because it's just washing all.

[2274] Would you say Kauai is the best?

[2275] Kauai?

[2276] Kauai is like Jurassic Park, man. Yeah, it's all like, it's like lost.

[2277] You know, You know, like, Lanai was gorgeous, too.

[2278] Linai is really small.

[2279] Well, I imagine Lanai has even less developed than Kauai.

[2280] And Kauai is like, there's one road that goes everywhere.

[2281] I think Lennai only has like 3 ,000 people that live on our 30 ,000 or something tiny.

[2282] And it's all like the staff of the first season.

[2283] They did look a little fucking spaced out when I was asking for directions.

[2284] There's fucking three roads.

[2285] And this bitch couldn't tell me how to get to the hotel.

[2286] It's just like, oh, no, I think, what's choosing that?

[2287] You know what?

[2288] Here's the thing is that.

[2289] about that.

[2290] When I lived in Hawaii, bro, I can't tell you what street to turn on.

[2291] I can tell you to get to the Wikiki, you got to go down.

[2292] There's a, there's a 7 -Eleven at the end of this one road.

[2293] You take it right there.

[2294] You keep going down.

[2295] It turns us to one way, and you take a right zippies.

[2296] And then there you're in Wikingki.

[2297] It's not, nobody knows the road names because they're Malakaliki Makka and Kanamo Hohe.

[2298] I'm like, what?

[2299] Like, who the fucking, nobody even knows the name of this road.

[2300] How crazy is it that Hawaii is a part of America, but it's five hours away on a fucking plane.

[2301] Alaska is not as crazy.

[2302] At least it's land mass. You can drive to Alaska.

[2303] Right.

[2304] But there's something in the middle of it.

[2305] He's like there's land in the middle of it.

[2306] That makes no sense.

[2307] Totally ridiculous.

[2308] We got to have our ass covered on all sides.

[2309] Oh, for sure.

[2310] But I mean, it's incredible that we can call that American.

[2311] It's five hours away on a fucking plane.

[2312] And then Guam is like sort of America.

[2313] So is Puerto Rico, buddy.

[2314] Puerto Rico is like sort of America.

[2315] Sort of America.

[2316] Puerto Rico is.

[2317] considered America, though.

[2318] But they don't pay taxes, so they don't want to be part of America.

[2319] But are you allowed to be from Puerto Rico and just immigrate to America?

[2320] I think so.

[2321] I think so, too, right?

[2322] That's why there's so many Puerto Ricans.

[2323] You know, especially if you go to New York.

[2324] Oh, yeah.

[2325] Oh, for sure.

[2326] Don Gavin's this fucking comedian from Boston.

[2327] Old school legend used to have this joke about he's just like, real fast talking, I'm Boston guy.

[2328] He's like, eh, if I went to Puerto Rican, that didn't like Puerto Rico.

[2329] Too many fucking Puerto Ricans.

[2330] I don't even know how they for Florida is so expensive.

[2331] Mayhem, have you been doing stand -up.

[2332] comedy lately.

[2333] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2334] How's that going?

[2335] Where's the great mayhem doing Santa comedy?

[2336] I don't know.

[2337] I know you did Ari's show at the improv.

[2338] I did Ari's show.

[2339] You know what?

[2340] And Ari's doing a show today, I've been arrested a bunch of times.

[2341] He didn't ask me to do the, I fought the law.

[2342] Oh, you could crash that bad.

[2343] Dude, just crash.

[2344] Just crash.

[2345] That'll be fun.

[2346] Aris probably listening right now.

[2347] No, he is.

[2348] He's eating out.

[2349] No, he's not.

[2350] He's sleeping.

[2351] He is jerking off.

[2352] He might be sleeping.

[2353] He likes to jerk off that guy.

[2354] Who doesn't?

[2355] Come out, fellow.

[2356] That's with the flashlight, ladies and bringing us back to our final sponsor.

[2357] The Fleshlight.

[2358] If you want to masturbate, this is your...

[2359] Oh, my God.

[2360] Flashlight .com.

[2361] I'm nervous looking at that thing.

[2362] If you go to Flashlight .com, too, if you go to my website, there's a link and you get 15 % off your Flashlight.

[2363] That's dope.

[2364] That's the weirdest sponsor ever.

[2365] It's the best sponsor.

[2366] Come on, my show's fucking nuts.

[2367] This whole thing is crazy.

[2368] That's why I've got crazy people like you on.

[2369] Nobody else would have got this kind of an interview out of Mayhem Miller.

[2370] We had to put it together.

[2371] This is not an interview, man. It does I feel like we're on a show together.

[2372] We're hanging, bro.

[2373] Don't do that.

[2374] Ew.

[2375] Oh.

[2376] Why?

[2377] No, I haven't fucked down.

[2378] Oh, that's awesome.

[2379] It's queffing all over the mic.

[2380] You feel it, like, feel how natural it feels.

[2381] I'm not natural about doing that.

[2382] It's so much.

[2383] It smells terrible now.

[2384] It's just rubber.

[2385] It smells terrible.

[2386] After all, the dirty pussy and asshole we've been talking about.

[2387] See if it's salty.

[2388] Imagine if your mom walks to the house like that.

[2389] If they were the tester, like tested by number 407, there's just a guy going, this is good.

[2390] This one make my cock feel so yummy.

[2391] Yeah, right?

[2392] Imagine if some dude did fuck it Because he knew he was going to do.

[2393] Imagine if he knew it was going to do.

[2394] Quality insurance.

[2395] Yeah, I mean, he can't have a faulty fake vagina.

[2396] Can you imagine that job?

[2397] But that was your job.

[2398] You had to do that all day long.

[2399] You have to keep on getting boners.

[2400] Like, want, oh, good.

[2401] That's ridiculous.

[2402] Good.

[2403] Oh, my God.

[2404] There's probably a job like that.

[2405] I'm appalled at this podcast.

[2406] I think we've reached the bottom.

[2407] Yes, we have.

[2408] This is it.

[2409] This is the end of the long.

[2410] So you have a website, right?

[2411] Mayhem Miller.

[2412] Mayam Miller on Twitter.

[2413] Yeah, I'm Mayhem Miller all across the board.

[2414] Mayhem Miller everywhere.

[2415] You don't use MySpace anymore, do you?

[2416] What's MySpace?

[2417] I feel bad.

[2418] I'm like, you know what?

[2419] I know that there's chicks out there that want to bomb me on my space, but I don't even go on there.

[2420] I can't even go on there.

[2421] When you see a girl that's still on MySpace, like, this is my MySpace.

[2422] That might be a girl that's retarded.

[2423] Oh, yeah.

[2424] Lower percentage for sure.

[2425] You're elite if you're not a MySpace.

[2426] Unless she's picking up the, she's king of the scraps.

[2427] Yeah, yeah.

[2428] She might be, there might be like, dude, I am the most popular person on Myspace.

[2429] Yeah, she's like the new Tequila, Tequila Part 3.

[2430] I've got 4 ,000 friends.

[2431] She's got 4 ,000 active friends.

[2432] A lot of girls claim 4 ,000 friends.

[2433] Yeah, I got no bots not mine.

[2434] Yeah, who the fuck is left on MySpace?

[2435] Only people whose computers can't even, they're so old, they can't even work Facebook.

[2436] Our friend just quit MySpace.

[2437] He used to work there, and now I could finally get rid of my MySpace.

[2438] I don't feel bad.

[2439] Because I only held on to it I think because of him.

[2440] I've hoped that MySpace is going to make a comeback because I, back in the comedy store days, MySpace packed that fucking place all the time.

[2441] That was responsible for getting, you know, You think it's harder to promote on Facebook?

[2442] No, no, no, no. The best is Twitter.

[2443] Twitter is the best.

[2444] Yeah, Twitter's fun, dude.

[2445] I like talking to people.

[2446] I like people send me some shit and I send it back.

[2447] Yeah, you know what I'm pissed off about is your fans are way smarter than mine because you always get cool shit sent to you.

[2448] And I'm like, what the fuck?

[2449] Well, I said cool shit to them too, though.

[2450] Whenever I find any cool.

[2451] video online i always tweet it i always tweet it so they tweet shit like that back to me but i find out all about a lot of cool articles and and cool science developments and shit i find out a lot of that stuff by people on uh on twitter now you know what i find it out because of you usually like i'm like i'm like man it's a chain of information we all sharing i know i'm like stoked every time you come up with a oh cool jo rogan put an article and i click and read it there's always so much cool shit on the internet man yeah it's the best have you seen the depok shopra sam harris uh debates.

[2452] Sam Harris has some other dude with him.

[2453] I forget the dude's name.

[2454] And Deepak Chopra had this crazy cat lady with him.

[2455] And they're debating God.

[2456] And it's some brilliant shit, man. Sam Harris is a brilliant, brilliant motherfucker.

[2457] He wrote that really good book, Letters to a Christian nation.

[2458] He's just this like skeptic, atheist character, but a really reasonable dude.

[2459] Have you seen Dawkins versus, I can't remember?

[2460] He did a few where he was like kind of...

[2461] He did one with Deepak Chopra, but I didn't like his arguments against Deepak.

[2462] And it was very short.

[2463] The clip that he used online.

[2464] or in his documentary, he was very short.

[2465] It was just mostly mocking Deepak.

[2466] But then when Deepak talked to him, Deepak was actually pretty reasonable about what he was saying.

[2467] They were talking about states of mind and mood and the ability to help diseases and cause diseases, like bad states of mind, which I definitely think I agree with.

[2468] Yeah, I think so.

[2469] I think negative people, like negative energy is manifested itself in stress.

[2470] Stress manifests itself in misfiring.

[2471] No, I've had injuries before where the injury, I don't even notice because I just got a caveman brain where I get hurt, and I just ignore that part of my body.

[2472] I'll step on something and have a bloody foot and just keep ignoring it until I have to go to hospital, you know?

[2473] And then, so I kept doing that, but I didn't realize to put stress on your body, and then I got super sick.

[2474] And I'm like, why am I sick and got to hurt knee?

[2475] It's because you get in this mind state of being, just totally, like, feeling bad and irritated and hurt, and then your body breaks down.

[2476] Yeah, you need positive energy and a good feeling of enjoyment of your life, appreciation for everything.

[2477] All that good stuff makes you feel, but it makes you lighter.

[2478] It makes you have to work less hard.

[2479] It makes life less taxing.

[2480] When I'm going through a lot of bullshit in my life, man, I'm tired all the time, you know?

[2481] It's a lot of energy gets used up by that.

[2482] Don't you find that if you're in like a bad personal situation that you're fucking tired all the time?

[2483] Oh, totally.

[2484] It's depression usually, you know?

[2485] I mean, it's depression.

[2486] It's depression, but it's also energy.

[2487] Just bad feelings.

[2488] Somebody hates you, someone's mad at you.

[2489] Yeah.

[2490] Well, at the risk, it sounds like a hippie.

[2491] Yeah, energy is everything.

[2492] Yeah.

[2493] Yeah, it's totally sound like a hippie.

[2494] The problem is hippies fucked up a lot of.

[2495] of cool shit.

[2496] Hippies connected a lot of bullshit to stuff that's real.

[2497] The thought of a hippie, because I've met awesome hippies, okay, but the thought of a hippie is this silly week.

[2498] like just like all he does is like to lay around in the fields and smoke weed.

[2499] There was a lot of hippies in Boulder.

[2500] When I was in Boulder, I got annoyed with a lot of hippies.

[2501] This idealistic, stupid point of view.

[2502] Like the trespass on your property and go, are you denying us access to the woods?

[2503] I'm like, you fucking douchebag.

[2504] This is my yard.

[2505] Get out of here, I bought the woods.

[2506] It's a big yard but it's my fucking yard.

[2507] How about use the woods over there where it's just the woods, you douche?

[2508] Oh, but the North Trail, this is an awesome trail.

[2509] Yeah, that's why I fucking paid $16 ,000 a month, you shithead.

[2510] Smithers.

[2511] Smithers.

[2512] Release the hounds.

[2513] No, man. It's like you want privacy, man. He's got his bull mastiff tearing apart hippies in the fucking yard.

[2514] My Bill Mastiff is a nice dog.

[2515] He's, cool i mean he lets you know when people there but he's not like scary i like to wrestle those dogs my pit bulls when i used to have pit bulls dad was like having monsters that was like i kept monsters as pets you know i was running all right so i was in hawaiy on the north shore and this dude house i was going to apparently he was like a famous drug dealer or something oh no something like that and i and uh my friends went ahead of me i forgot my swims shorts and i got it and i walked in by myself and across this giant yard a fucking giant pit bull sprinting at me and i was like fuck and I was already in the gate like there's I couldn't run outrun him at this point I was like fuck what do I do what do I do and I was like stay calm and I went fuck it I went like that you barked at him he stopped in his tracks and barked at me we were best friends after that like we it was the weird well sometimes they'll bark at you they just want to get close to you and make sure you're okay and then they're friendly he never was I barked at him he barked at me and then I went here's here's my hand are some of the smartest fucking cool as dogs as pets but it's such a pain in the ass because they just want to fight other dogs like they're always it's like hanging out with a crazy dude trying to be alpha just it's your butt hole and let them smell your finger it works also oh brian you did it again how dare you that doesn't make sense yeah it's like smelling the ass of a dog if you let them smell this so you're telling me that you normally respect whenever you see a meat dog you finger blast your own ass I just like this smell this okay cool what if he decides to attack and bite your hand off.

[2516] It never happens.

[2517] They go into smell mode.

[2518] Well, I mean, first of all, they're not going to bite a hand.

[2519] Yeah, it's crazy.

[2520] So you're being honest.

[2521] This is like actual advice.

[2522] Totally, totally.

[2523] Try it out.

[2524] If you see a pit bull charging at you, fucking grab your asshole, put a finger in, let it smell it, make sure it's working.

[2525] I think your theory is faulty, and you need to try it on some other dogs.

[2526] What do dogs do when they see other dogs?

[2527] How many dogs have tried to attack you?

[2528] You might have gotten lucky.

[2529] You're just used to smell.

[2530] All right.

[2531] I'm just, don't do it.

[2532] Don't just grabbing his ass.

[2533] Big your ass.

[2534] Oh, he did it.

[2535] Oh, he licked it.

[2536] This fucking show is over, ladies and gentlemen.

[2537] That's the end.

[2538] This is the end of the line.

[2539] I can't even believe he made a dog smell his butt.

[2540] From his own fingers.

[2541] Go wash your hand, son.

[2542] You're touching the microphone.

[2543] What the fuck, Brian?

[2544] Oh, this is so nasty.

[2545] Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tuning in.

[2546] Red band.

[2547] Thanks to our buddy, Jason Mayhem Miller for coming on and being one of the best fucking guests.

[2548] We've ever had on the podcast.

[2549] God damn, out.

[2550] Outstanding.

[2551] Good stories.

[2552] He's a real dude.

[2553] You can catch them on Twitter.

[2554] Mayhem Miller on Twitter.

[2555] Mayhemmiller .com.

[2556] Of course, bully beat down.

[2557] How many seasons have you done?

[2558] The third now.

[2559] Going into the third season, ladies and gentlemen, DVR that shit.

[2560] You know you're going to watch it.

[2561] And look for him in Strike Force in October against some unknown victim.

[2562] We'll see what's up.

[2563] Jason Mayhem Miller representing Brian Reichel for everybody.

[2564] Thank you very much for tuning in.

[2565] And we'll see you sexy bitches next week.

[2566] Love you.