Zoey Deutch

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dax Randall Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman.

[3] Hi, Dax Randall.

[4] How are you?

[5] I'm good.

[6] I'm in the attic.

[7] I'm solo in the attic.

[8] And your work's just about done, so you're about to go indulge, right?

[9] Yeah.

[10] I don't know what that means yet.

[11] Like, what's it going to be pizza?

[12] Dinner, maybe some whine, some Vino Tito, bottle of white, bottle of red, maybe a rosé.

[13] tonight.

[14] Is that a song you've made up or is it real?

[15] No, scenes from Italian restaurant, Billy Joel.

[16] I love it because it's about nine songs in one and there's even a part in the middle you might recognize where all of a sudden it goes, Brenda and Eddie were the popular steadies, the king and the queen of the prom, do, do.

[17] You know that one?

[18] I do know that.

[19] I didn't know they talked about rosé.

[20] Well, it's a very interesting song.

[21] It goes everywhere.

[22] The beginning is like, whatever they in the mood tonight.

[23] Da, da, da, da, da, da, from the Italian restaurant.

[24] And then it changes, fucking shifts gears, clutch in, clutch out, second gear.

[25] Brenda and Eddie with the populist eddies, the king and the queen of the prom.

[26] Wow.

[27] Yeah, and then it tells you a whole story about poor Brenda and Eddie.

[28] They didn't make it.

[29] They got married and then they didn't make it.

[30] They got a couple paintings from Sears, though.

[31] Oh, my God.

[32] That's in the song.

[33] Yeah.

[34] So specific.

[35] It is.

[36] It was virtually about my mom and my dad, and I think that's why they identified so much.

[37] They were Brenda and Eddie.

[38] Yeah.

[39] Neither Brenda nor Eddie is here today.

[40] But Zoe Deutsch is.

[41] She is an actor and a producer.

[42] She was in Set It Up.

[43] Everybody wants some.

[44] Buffaloed.

[45] The outfit.

[46] Zambiland Double Tap.

[47] The politician.

[48] She has a new movie out on Hulu called Not Okay, which is a very fun satire of popular day.

[49] Cancel culture.

[50] Cancel culture.

[51] Social media life.

[52] The whole thing, online and personas.

[53] Persona non grata.

[54] None of that matters.

[55] None of that matters at all.

[56] To me, Zoe Deutsch was really fun and awesome.

[57] Very fun.

[58] In the attic.

[59] She's my style icon, as you'll hear.

[60] Your style icon and also a Formula One fan, which gave her and I a ton to talk about.

[61] I really got to geek out, which was special.

[62] Yeah, we get into it.

[63] Please enjoy Zoe Deutsch.

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[66] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[67] I did say to Kristen two years ago or three years ago, I said, do you know, Suey, Deutsch?

[68] She reminds me a lot of you.

[69] You remind me a lot of her.

[70] Is that a compliment?

[71] That would be the dream.

[72] Oh.

[73] Well, you remind me a lot of her.

[74] Yeah, me too.

[75] When I was watching you on Phelan today, you're really confident.

[76] you're so good on a talk show it's crazy very few first of all you look so tiny right now what do you mean get relaxed don't I like super relax I hope you're getting a picture of the fact that I just sat down and immediately you lost a button no I just that's sort of my vibe oh you unbuttoned it's a good vibe it's good sitting vibe I want to be cozy you say get comfortable and I thought I'll just undo my pants do you ever do the thing with the rubber bay on that hack I've seen that I don't do it okay do you do that no I have no need to I'm wearing a lot of elize elastic slacks in my older age.

[77] These are elastic.

[78] They have a drawstring.

[79] It's the word slacks that gives off older age.

[80] It's not the slacks.

[81] It's the word slacks.

[82] I'm trying to teach him about trouser and he won't adopt it.

[83] Trouser is much more sophisticated.

[84] It is.

[85] Your grandpa wore slacks.

[86] For sure.

[87] Zoot suit, slacks and.

[88] Sure.

[89] Dungeris.

[90] Really dungeries, but I like to pronounce it.

[91] Dungeris.

[92] You like trousers.

[93] It makes me think of not a nice euphemism for a P .P. which is one I Trouser Browser.

[94] Oh, wow.

[95] That's the only time I ever heard the word trousers when people were saying trouser browser.

[96] Okay.

[97] So it has a sexual connotation.

[98] I don't like to do that in front of, especially ladies.

[99] Oh, yeah, you never.

[100] That doesn't seem like you.

[101] You're so prude.

[102] So careful.

[103] I dressed for Zoe today.

[104] Well, I was just going to say, before you walked in, Monica was like, you know, I really like it.

[105] She's one of my style icons.

[106] Yeah, you're one of my style icons.

[107] Monica.

[108] Of money.

[109] And I thought today I was like, oh, she's.

[110] shit, I got to like wear something cool.

[111] You do every day, though.

[112] You really dress for the nines?

[113] No. To the nines.

[114] To the trousers.

[115] To the trousers.

[116] To the trousers.

[117] You look fantastic.

[118] I'm disappointing since I'm wearing a shirt with armpit stains.

[119] No, you're pulling it off.

[120] To the bottom of the shirt.

[121] I didn't even know that was.

[122] You wore like a sweater on your shoulder.

[123] That's like cool.

[124] That's because I was hiding the armpit stains.

[125] There's no one that sweats more in the world.

[126] I actually recently tried to get Botox in my armpits.

[127] Did you know about this?

[128] Oh, you can do that.

[129] Yeah.

[130] I didn't work.

[131] My body laughed at me. It had other plans for what had to happen.

[132] That was cute what you tried.

[133] There's no amount of any deodorant to stop the sweat.

[134] And you won't use an antideprosperin, right?

[135] Because of the aluminum.

[136] You will.

[137] You fuck it.

[138] Who cares about the aluminum?

[139] She has to.

[140] Fuck it.

[141] This is wild.

[142] This is one of the most dangerous things I've heard.

[143] I'm fucking reckless.

[144] I'm a rock star.

[145] Yeah.

[146] You're putting aluminum all in your armpits.

[147] And then Botox in my arms.

[148] I'm fucking nuts.

[149] Even I stopped with the.

[150] antiperspirant about 12 years ago.

[151] I'm just deodorant.

[152] I get damp in there.

[153] I want to put my hands in there.

[154] Is that weird?

[155] No, go ahead.

[156] Touch it.

[157] When we're outside getting a photo, we'll get one of me warming my hands up like you do when you're, yes.

[158] It's pretty cold in here, though.

[159] You might dry you up by then.

[160] Oh, no, the cold doesn't.

[161] Okay.

[162] There's no effect.

[163] It's not related at all.

[164] Oh, it has nothing to do with the temperature.

[165] It has everything to do with probably.

[166] Hydration.

[167] Oh, that is also an issue.

[168] Remember when I said, if I can make it through this interview without peeing, it'll be a miracle.

[169] Yeah.

[170] I drink a sip of water, immediately have to pee.

[171] Your body wants to get all the water out.

[172] I'm learning a lot already about myself.

[173] What if it's a disease?

[174] I'm sure it is.

[175] I think you have a really active thyroid.

[176] I do actually, by the way.

[177] I have a thyroid problem.

[178] Graves disease?

[179] I have Hashimoto's.

[180] Oh, interesting.

[181] But it manifests the opposite.

[182] Here's hyper, not hypo.

[183] Yes.

[184] Okay.

[185] You guys are now like psychic.

[186] You guys got down to the, you know Hashimoto.

[187] Isn't it serious?

[188] No. Is it?

[189] It's fun.

[190] No, if I want people to feel bad for me, I'll say it's serious.

[191] Also, the name sounds so intense.

[192] This is the most Jewish thing, though, within, like, two seconds, I somehow am telling you guys all my medical issues and asking yours.

[193] This is, like, the most immediately, like, you're getting a full scope of who I am.

[194] I sweat.

[195] I have to pee.

[196] I have Ashimona.

[197] I mean, that stereotype of Jews being obsessed with health, it's rooted in something deeper.

[198] Of course.

[199] I mean.

[200] A real sense of fatality.

[201] Yeah.

[202] Everybody's trying to kill you all the time.

[203] Like, all right, we got to figure out how to stay alive.

[204] So let's just, let's hold on tight.

[205] Yeah, I get it.

[206] Yeah, if you avoid the many, many threats, how embarrassing would be you go down for seriotic arthritis.

[207] You got to stay on top of it.

[208] Totally.

[209] Death by UTI would suck.

[210] You just got a real.

[211] Can you die from it?

[212] For sure.

[213] You could get septic and.

[214] Yeah.

[215] I knew it.

[216] Untreated.

[217] You knew it.

[218] It's really dangerous, actually.

[219] Are you guys both good?

[220] Shall I have to see?

[221] The thing.

[222] I want to immediately talk about is that you have five names.

[223] I do.

[224] Zoe Francis, Chaya, Thompson, Deutsch.

[225] And so my first thought was your parents just can't compromise, huh?

[226] Are they a couple that can compromise?

[227] My mom makes every decision.

[228] I was listening to your guys' episode with, I can't believe I'm going to compare my father to Obama when he was like, yeah, well, it's two girls.

[229] Oh, my God.

[230] All they do is sit around the table and they just make fun of me. And that's our life.

[231] We just make fun of my dad.

[232] My dad has no, he has no power, no dignity, which has affected.

[233] how I treat men in a very interesting way.

[234] But my mother makes all the decisions.

[235] She definitely did the naming.

[236] The Zoe, my sister named me Zoe.

[237] Francis was my great -grandmother's name.

[238] Chaya is my Hebrew name.

[239] Lechayum.

[240] It's the tail end of Lehiom.

[241] Exactly.

[242] The suffix.

[243] Thompson is my mom's last name and Deutsch is my father's.

[244] Okay.

[245] Well, you can see, though, where I was like, well, I think the dad was like, well, I'm getting Zoe and Chaya.

[246] And your mom's like, well, I'm getting Francis and Thompson.

[247] And then they were like, wait, guess we got to go Deutsch somewhere in here.

[248] Everyone gets what they want.

[249] You and TSA were very confused by my last names.

[250] Yes.

[251] Yeah.

[252] Okay, so before I bring them up, are you someone that would rather not talk about your parents?

[253] Or do you enjoy talking about your parents?

[254] They can go either way when you have famous parents, obviously.

[255] Love my parents.

[256] You love your parents.

[257] Okay.

[258] So here's what I knew about you.

[259] I met your dad one time.

[260] He was directing a movie.

[261] My girlfriend was in.

[262] He had come over to her house and they were chatting about whatever.

[263] And I sat there during all that.

[264] and I really adored him.

[265] So then I knew, because the name is so unique, that you were the daughter of him.

[266] And then it was not until this morning that I found out who your mother was.

[267] You probably should tell the world.

[268] Okay, well, first let's go to your dad.

[269] Very instrumental in my childhood.

[270] Pretty and pink.

[271] Seminal movie.

[272] Her father directed.

[273] Seminal.

[274] Seminal.

[275] Seaminal.

[276] Seaminal.

[277] Some kind of wonderful.

[278] Wow.

[279] If you have a favorite movie of your father's, is it some kind of wonderful?

[280] Mary Stewart Masterson in that movie?

[281] I love that movie.

[282] And it's where my parents met.

[283] Right.

[284] But I love Mary Stewart Masterson in that movie.

[285] She's a drummer.

[286] She's in love with this boy, but the boy's in love with Zoe's mother.

[287] And she goes up to her and she says, you break his heart.

[288] I'll break your face.

[289] And she's got her drumming gloves on.

[290] Did I fuck up the line?

[291] I have no fucking idea.

[292] But my mom wanted that part.

[293] And she turned on the movie because my dad didn't offer her that part.

[294] And then I think Howard the Duck came out and bombed, which was the first Marvel movie ever made.

[295] And she was like, fuck.

[296] She then was like, okay, I guess.

[297] I got to do this movie, and then that's how they...

[298] She wanted that part.

[299] That was a better part, of course.

[300] It was a fun part.

[301] It was a way better part than the one she had.

[302] Also, you had just had the standard disinterest in your parents that all children should have.

[303] I get it.

[304] No one's never going to be wowed by their parents.

[305] It's always going to be their parents.

[306] No, until maybe you become a parent and you're like, wow, you were a parent.

[307] Well, that for sure.

[308] You'll be thinking about the fact that your mother raised two daughters and still worked and all those things.

[309] I do wonder, did you ever have the moment where some kind of wonderful, pretty and pink great outdoors three john hughes movies very special that he got to be in collaboration with john hughes one of the most special people to ever do this then mom and this blew my mind that your mother is lea thompson marty mcfly's sexy mom if you don't realize also some kind of wonderful also caroline in the city caroline in the city or caroline caroline caroline in the city okay again i don't know who would know i was being breastfed on that were you i don't know i don't know i don't know know how to pronounce it.

[310] The only thing that interests my children, of course, about a set is the craft service.

[311] Of course.

[312] Did you just spend all your time?

[313] Oh, yeah.

[314] Well, the craft service truck and the hair and makeup trailer.

[315] My first word was, I believe, Gippick, which was lipstick.

[316] I was very...

[317] Oh.

[318] There's a video of me sitting on my mom's lap saying, you know, I want to be an action.

[319] You know, it is what it is.

[320] I grew up on a set.

[321] Yeah.

[322] Yeah.

[323] Stealing from the craft service truck.

[324] And your sister's two years older than you?

[325] She's three and a half.

[326] Three and a half.

[327] Yeah.

[328] Are you guys so different?

[329] Ooh, we are, I think, so different.

[330] I try to copy everything of hers.

[331] I just fail because younger sibling stuff.

[332] Is she a fashion icon too?

[333] She's simply a fashion icon, smartest person I know.

[334] We like that.

[335] Really gifted at everything.

[336] Oh, wow.

[337] First born?

[338] Yeah, oh yeah.

[339] Everything I do, I seek her approval.

[340] This, this is her favorite.

[341] I'm so nervous to be here, by the way.

[342] One, because I think you guys are so smart and interesting.

[343] and I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to say here?

[344] But even more than that, my sister loves this.

[345] Even right now, like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I text you.

[346] She's like, oh, my God.

[347] I want to say hi to her.

[348] Yeah, Maddie.

[349] Maddie?

[350] We love you.

[351] Thanks for listening.

[352] Do you think she'd call herself an arm cherry?

[353] For sure.

[354] Oh, my God, Maddie's an arm cherry.

[355] Well, you're right.

[356] Sounds like she is very smart and cool.

[357] Now I know.

[358] She's the most emotionally intelligent person, I know.

[359] They just seek validation and everything.

[360] And she's had to create space there.

[361] Literally, if I'm getting my nails done, I have to ask for which color she thinks is okay.

[362] And then she started not responding right away.

[363] Oh, okay.

[364] I feel like, this is time sensitive.

[365] I'm here.

[366] They're doing it now.

[367] This is the end of the world.

[368] Yeah, what color?

[369] Ballet slipper?

[370] Or do I get put it in neutral?

[371] Like, which fucking LPI color?

[372] Wow.

[373] Wait, is that the one that MGK invented?

[374] What's his nail polish?

[375] Do we know?

[376] I don't know.

[377] Machine Gun Kelly?

[378] He has a nail polish.

[379] That he invented?

[380] I learned it in the documentary.

[381] Another business he has.

[382] U -N -D -N.

[383] Do you know that nail polish?

[384] He's sponsoring this episode.

[385] He's sponsoring this episode.

[386] Yes, the first time ever an individual.

[387] Come on.

[388] What I wanted to say was, I think you have an advantage as an actor, being a younger sibling, and I'll tell you why.

[389] My oldest daughter, is it eldest or oldest?

[390] Eldest?

[391] I think it's whatever.

[392] It sounds like, exactly.

[393] My eldest daughter.

[394] Sounds slacksy.

[395] Exactly.

[396] You're quick.

[397] You're really quick.

[398] I'm going to have to edit out a pause.

[399] I just like, no, she's lightning fast.

[400] What I notice is my oldest daughter.

[401] If we were to withhold approval for something, it would affect her so much.

[402] If we withhold approval from the younger one, she could give a flying fuck because she's been rejected like 300 times a day since she was born.

[403] Wow.

[404] And I'd say you probably as a younger sister were rejected by her all the time.

[405] That's a really interesting perspective.

[406] For auditioning, you're like, yeah, maybe they're going to hate me, maybe they're going to like me. It's got to be in the mix a little bit.

[407] Do you think it's added to any confidence in that realm?

[408] Absolutely.

[409] Honestly, I'm just becoming aware of it.

[410] I think it's actually hurtful, not helpful.

[411] I had such blind confidence when I started working at 15.

[412] There was no route of failure.

[413] There was just success.

[414] And even when I would get rejected time and time again and movie would bomb or I would get cut out or I would be replaced or anything under the sun that would happen.

[415] I was like, there's nothing that can stop this fucking train.

[416] Yeah.

[417] Absolutely blind ambition.

[418] And it's only now that I'm seeing that and going, wow, what was that?

[419] Who was that?

[420] Why was that?

[421] And I don't feel that way now.

[422] It's just I'm like, what if it doesn't happen the way that I thought it would?

[423] And what if this path is a little bit different?

[424] Well, something interesting has now happened to you career -wise, if you look at the trajectory.

[425] It's like at one point it's something you're going to get.

[426] And it's much different to then get the thing you were looking to get.

[427] Then fear can come in because you're like, well, I don't want to lose this now.

[428] You can't lose it as you're chasing it.

[429] You don't have it to lose.

[430] But then when you have it, when you're the lead of movies and you're on the poster, of things, it does cross your mind.

[431] Well, now that's mine to lose.

[432] No?

[433] No, to be honest, there was this expectation I put on myself and that was put on me from probably 18 when I started really, really working.

[434] I was being compared to people that had astronomical, quote unquote, success.

[435] Everyone defines success in different ways, putting me on those next lists or whatever.

[436] And I've been being put on those next lists for 10 years.

[437] And I'm like, that's not it.

[438] I'm just going to keep working and doing these weird movies and doing it a little differently.

[439] I think you, would be the person they would say a 20 -year -old is going to be the next?

[440] Absolutely not.

[441] No. I think so, don't you?

[442] I'm pretty out to lunch when it comes.

[443] Anyone under 47, so forgive me for that.

[444] I think you're like an Emma Stone now.

[445] No, no, exactly.

[446] The landscape has changed.

[447] How would anyone even know now?

[448] It used to be, you would be the lead of a movie and it opened.

[449] That was the barometer.

[450] That was the metric.

[451] That doesn't exist anymore.

[452] The strata have eroded so much that it would be hard to really anoint someone at this point, I think.

[453] Totally.

[454] The thing that I didn't get to, which is that I feel like I was like reading a book this close and it's like all blurry and all of a sudden I'm going like this and I'm like wait a minute that is not what it looked like to me at the time and I'm grateful for how it's gone and how it's going and it's different than I was told it was going to go and I'm not a hundred percent certain that everything's going to go continue to just be a upward incline for sure not that when you're not the singular face on a poster you're never really being evaluated by the project unless you're the face on the poster you're not really going to bear the hit of it so the stakes change you and zombie land is much different than you and not okay these are just objectively different propositions would you agree yes the first movie i did i had my face on the poster i was young and it was very large budget and it was a harvey winstein movie and it did not do well okay it did actually bad poorly i know those well and uh sam And it was just destroyed by the critics.

[455] It's great when it misses on both.

[456] Oh, my God.

[457] Isn't it good?

[458] So it sort of feels like, can't hurt me now.

[459] It did so badly.

[460] I still then was like, oh, I'm going to be fine.

[461] You know, that still didn't.

[462] That's the preferred state of mind.

[463] I feel like in our business, you're either God or you're garbage.

[464] You know, and that psychic contrast is so bizarre to oscillate between.

[465] There's no balance there.

[466] I mean, even just on a day -to -day level, like, on set, somebody's always like, what can I get you?

[467] There's always somebody handing you whatever you need at any moment.

[468] Everyone's doting on you acting like, you know, don't talk about them around.

[469] And then at the same time, it's like, hey, I have to pee.

[470] And they're like, no, you can't.

[471] I'm like, well, that's a human.

[472] I have to, no, you can't leave.

[473] It's hour 18.

[474] No, you can't leave.

[475] You're garbage.

[476] The same thing with putting out a movie, you think you are worthy of this great success.

[477] And then at the same time, you're like, I'm nothing and no one wants.

[478] It's just so.

[479] Yeah.

[480] It's a very bipolar kind of existence.

[481] Very roller coastery.

[482] Did you benefit from having at least parents that also had gone through all those rides?

[483] Did you grow up at least with a right -sized understanding of this business where, like, there's a ton of downs, there's a ton of downs?

[484] I worry about things from my daughters.

[485] And another thing I think is helpful, which is there's no real mystique about it.

[486] It's not an exotic thing.

[487] It's in their fucking living room and I have gas.

[488] You know what I'm saying?

[489] Yeah.

[490] That's their real experience with it.

[491] Yeah.

[492] So I do wonder, do you think it was at all helpful to have two parents who had been through all the highs and and you were like, oh, and then they lived.

[493] For sure.

[494] But I also think I carry their trauma with me. This movie, Not Okay, I'm playing a total anti -hero scammer, quote -unquote, unlikable female.

[495] I have now played, so I did a movie called Flower.

[496] I did a movie called Buffalo.

[497] I did a show called The Politician.

[498] Now Not Okay.

[499] Where I play what other people perceive to be pretty horrible women.

[500] And this is a result, I believe, of having watched my mother suffer a time when she only was offered parts of I'm the speaker.

[501] all next door.

[502] And I'm like, fuck that fucking shit.

[503] She deserved way better parts.

[504] I watched her as Sally Bowles on Cabaret and I saw what a motherfucker of an actor she is and what she could have done, what she still can do.

[505] And I was like, I am not going to be pigeonled.

[506] And I bet you I would have a way bigger career, quote unquote, bigger career if I had gone the trajectory that I was on when I did, why him?

[507] Where I played, I'm sorry, a one -dimensional female character in a male driven comedy with James Franco.

[508] But anyway, I think this desire to play these, what people, again, perceived to be horrible women.

[509] And I have had such a fun time with it, but I think it's because I watched my mom.

[510] Of course.

[511] In the best case scenario, you learn from your parents' mistakes.

[512] Oh, you can repeat them.

[513] In a different, the opposite.

[514] No. Oh, you will repeat all them and also try to avoid them.

[515] I can't wait.

[516] But it is weird that there's been an outside expectation placed on you.

[517] Like you said, you've been on all these lists, and it's, she's going to be.

[518] What if you're like, but is that even?

[519] what I'm trying to do, but the world is telling me I am.

[520] I just go, no one cares, whatever, just keep doing your thing.

[521] No one never cares about it.

[522] I don't know if that is bleak, but it's helpful for me sometimes to just go, no one even saw that stupid list.

[523] I love this lane, though, for you, and to Monica's point earlier, that you remind her of Kristen.

[524] Kristen's unique gift, in my opinion, is you watch forgetting Sarah Marshall.

[525] You're supposed to hate that person.

[526] She's the villain.

[527] So true.

[528] She's so like it.

[529] It's impossible.

[530] You're so sick of people.

[531] We don't care.

[532] Fucking cheat on them every day in front of them.

[533] We'll still love you.

[534] Yeah, she is truly the most likable person.

[535] Part of the reason, and I think you do this as well, which is you're not playing the villain with some awareness that you're the villain.

[536] You've got to play the villain.

[537] And when you're emotional, you have real emotions.

[538] And then I feel bad for any person that's going through a rough time, even if they're despicable.

[539] Totally.

[540] That's the hack of that, in my opinion, is just still also play a human that you might feel bad for.

[541] for you because you're the bad guy.

[542] It's the most fun.

[543] The politician character is great.

[544] Well, you're super good.

[545] You're really good.

[546] It's pretty wild.

[547] You deserve to be on all those lists.

[548] I agree with you.

[549] Who the fuck is really?

[550] Literally.

[551] I think only like your agent.

[552] The people that are on them.

[553] Some other management person.

[554] No, it's so stupid.

[555] Yeah.

[556] Okay.

[557] You started acting class at five.

[558] So clearly your parents had no objection to you wanting to do it, right?

[559] They had no choice.

[560] I believe if my mom were here, she would say that.

[561] It was very fierce.

[562] The get -go.

[563] I was sort of like, this is it.

[564] And I was really intense, and I knew that that's what I wanted to do.

[565] And I'm so grateful that I was surrounded by people that made me see that it was possible.

[566] Not only my parents, my grandmother was an artist, my grandfather.

[567] Is this Long Island, Grandma?

[568] No, this is my mother's.

[569] Because I'm going to make you talk like her before you leave.

[570] Of course, I can talk like her.

[571] She talks like this.

[572] Pamela Deutsch.

[573] She's from Long Island.

[574] Long Island.

[575] Long Island.

[576] Long Island.

[577] Yeah.

[578] I got in big trouble because I went on Fallon and I did this accent.

[579] And everyone from Long Island was like, I don't talk like that.

[580] Oh, my.

[581] All right.

[582] Whatever you say, I said it was a cartoon character version of her.

[583] Oh, that's amazing.

[584] Long Island.

[585] But everyone in my family, they're all musicians, writers, painters.

[586] My mom would always take in anybody, any random artist, whatever.

[587] I was surrounded by a lot of artists and knew that that was a path that was possible and acceptable.

[588] and I was put in improv by my mother because I was such a twat and like would say no to her about everything.

[589] I was like a contrarian and I was obsessed with saying no because it forced adults to have conversations with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[590] It gives you some power.

[591] If I said no, they would have to engage.

[592] Now I got out, Foxx you.

[593] And so she was so perplexed by this character defect of me. She was like, this is the life you want to live?

[594] You want to say no to everything around you?

[595] What a life that's going to be.

[596] My daughter, Delt, is like this.

[597] But I figured out really early on, I'm not going to win.

[598] the no thing with her.

[599] She's like that?

[600] Oh, yeah.

[601] And I go, okay.

[602] I recognize she's only going to do the thing she wants to do.

[603] So I can only appeal to her sense of being a good person.

[604] It's literally that simple.

[605] Do you think she's going to be an actress?

[606] It'd be stupid if she wasn't, right?

[607] She's so fucking charismatic.

[608] She's incredibly charismatic.

[609] Do you think the oldest is going to be?

[610] It's angering as someone who had to learn to be funny at the groundlings.

[611] But she also seeks zero approval.

[612] Yes.

[613] And so I actually wonder if she won't.

[614] If she'll pick something else that's crazy.

[615] But she might actually do it for the right reason because she loves me. There's no such thing.

[616] There's no actor who's done it for the right reason ever.

[617] Yeah, wait a minute.

[618] That doesn't ask.

[619] Will Ferrell is the only one.

[620] The only comedian.

[621] Tom Hanks, maybe?

[622] I don't know.

[623] We don't know.

[624] We haven't talked to him.

[625] When Molly Shannon backed you up on that, I keep thinking that Will Ferrell, there's got to be some sort of he's killed a man or something.

[626] But anyway, so she put me in improv and then I just was like, I can make people feel things.

[627] And I can, you know, whatever, all the things that I'm sure you guys both experienced, too.

[628] But how about the leap to doing it professionally?

[629] Because you didn't start until 15 getting a paycheck.

[630] Yeah, which I thought was ancient.

[631] Right.

[632] Was that a debate in your house?

[633] Was that a compromise?

[634] I remember a wonderful child actor who I worked with.

[635] She was very famous.

[636] She became famous, very young.

[637] She said, being a child actor, you're given the responsibility of an adult, but not the respect.

[638] I would see this with May Whitman.

[639] On parenthood, she was like 21 when we started.

[640] playing 14 or 15.

[641] She was on talk shows when she was six years old.

[642] She's been working longer than any of us other than Craig T. Nelson there.

[643] Yet they were talking to her about her hair choice like she was out of the equation.

[644] And I remember thinking, that's bonkers.

[645] She's the most powerful member of this group.

[646] She has almost the most experience.

[647] And I'm not to wear my hair however I want.

[648] But because of her age, like it really did strike me that thing.

[649] Now go lift this show up like the powerful beast you are.

[650] But then we're going to tell you how to do your hair and what you got to wear.

[651] Yeah.

[652] That would drive me insane if I were her.

[653] Yeah.

[654] She didn't have as big of a chip on her shoulders as I would have.

[655] Not to say it.

[656] Well, there's a chip.

[657] Let's be honest.

[658] Yeah.

[659] But not as bad as mine would have been.

[660] So you wouldn't be upset.

[661] You would encourage starting at a younger age.

[662] No. And now here's the thing that's unfair to you and a lot of other people because you're brilliant.

[663] You really are.

[664] You're super talented.

[665] The actors I've always liked personally are ones that I at least thought had lived in actual life.

[666] For sure.

[667] And had had some real jobs.

[668] And had been in some.

[669] real fights.

[670] I've done crack.

[671] What are you talking?

[672] Okay.

[673] Well, then how else?

[674] Hey, you don't know what I've I'm kidding.

[675] I'm totally.

[676] I'm totally kidding.

[677] I'm totally kidding.

[678] Have you?

[679] No, not yet.

[680] That's my own thing.

[681] No, but you're right.

[682] I want them to walk in with a point of view before they're taking on everyone else's point of view.

[683] If I were a parent, I would feel the exact same way.

[684] Okay.

[685] But in your case.

[686] They didn't have a choice.

[687] Oh, in some level they got to drive you places, right?

[688] But they didn't have a choice.

[689] I know that sounds crazy, but like I went down a pretty, bad path at 12, 13, 14.

[690] Oh, tell me what kind of path?

[691] I was dying to grow up and be an adult so badly at 12, 1314.

[692] Were you dating way too old of boys?

[693] It wasn't dating way too old of boys, but I was going out and drinking very young and doing all that very young.

[694] I was going down a very specific path and actually, I'll just get right into it.

[695] I must have been 14 when I left.

[696] It's hilarious.

[697] It was like a prop bag of incriminating evidence for my parents to find.

[698] It was literally a bag that had cigarettes.

[699] Okay, great.

[700] Weed.

[701] Okay, wonderful.

[702] A shock glass.

[703] A flask.

[704] A condom.

[705] Which I wasn't having sex, by the way.

[706] I mean, you were prepared.

[707] I just had it.

[708] Wait, did I say there was like lingerie?

[709] Did I say laundry?

[710] There was a pill case with pills in it, which I again, it was like Xanax and I think there was like other stuff in it.

[711] Again, I was not doing those.

[712] I want to be clear.

[713] Okay.

[714] I was drinking and smoking and doing all that stuff.

[715] This is a starter pack for spring break.

[716] My mom finds the bag, and at the time my sister was dating, he was sober and identified the pills.

[717] They didn't have him talk to you, did they?

[718] No, of course.

[719] Oh, okay.

[720] I thought that's where this is going on.

[721] No, no, no. My mom finds me. She goes, I'm going to pick you up.

[722] She comes and picks me up.

[723] My best friend is making out with a guy on a couch, and I'm, like, hitting a bong or something.

[724] Oh, wow.

[725] And she grounds me, and I've never been grounded, even though I've done some very questionable things.

[726] Grounds me for, like, six months.

[727] That's an eternity.

[728] Something crazy like that.

[729] And that's when I switched schools and I started working.

[730] After that six months, I was just so bored and done with partying.

[731] It was funny.

[732] I was like, I've seen it all.

[733] I've done it all.

[734] That makes a lot of sense then.

[735] Normally, you try to put a kid in sports or you try to get them engaged in something positive instead of being a burnout.

[736] Channeling my energy and all of that stuff into something.

[737] Caring about something enough that those other things would be a distraction from the thing and not worth it.

[738] Was it about being older?

[739] Was it about having stories?

[740] I just really wanted to be older and like get it.

[741] I always wanted to understand my earliest memory I have, which is so, and I have a shitty memory.

[742] You guys both seem like you have great memories, but I have...

[743] It's another Christian thing.

[744] And again, I don't even know if this is a real memory, but I think it's a real memory.

[745] Might be a photograph you saw me. Go ahead.

[746] Is driving down Ventura Boulevard, and my dad is driving my sister is in the passenger seat, and my sister points at a billboard and starts laughing because of what it says, because she reads it.

[747] They're laughing at it.

[748] And I am filled with this panic because I can't read yet.

[749] I don't know what they're laughing at.

[750] And I just start laughing hysterically, too.

[751] I think it's like, you know, I just try laughing and laugh because I just want to get it.

[752] Like I just wanted to get.

[753] You want to be in on it.

[754] Yeah, I wanted to get why people were going to these bars and getting drunk and hooking up with these guys.

[755] And I really was dying to get it.

[756] And so I did.

[757] Zoe, you are introducing me to something that I have that I've never really thought of in this way, which is I have this deep thing too.

[758] My biggest embarrassment would be that I missed the joke everyone's in.

[759] I would want to go up in flames.

[760] And I've always related to being dumb.

[761] Everyone understands something and I don't.

[762] As much as I always thought that was about dyslexia, I think a lot of it's about my brother having dudes over there five years.

[763] They were five years older than me. So I'm like trying to keep up so much.

[764] I remember we watched TV at my dad's house and when we'd see him on the weekends.

[765] We were allowed to rent movies and we'd rent like nine movies.

[766] And it'd be four in the morning and my brother was plowing through him.

[767] You know, he's 16 and I'm 11.

[768] And I remember being like, how you're going like, stay awake.

[769] Like the battle I was.

[770] I think it's why I'm an insomnia because I learned to push through any kind of tiredness because I would be so little if I had fallen asleep.

[771] That's so funny.

[772] I was using those condoms at that age and I was fucking dying to get it all done.

[773] I don't know what it was.

[774] People would just say they're like, don't have sex and church.

[775] I don't do cocaine.

[776] And I was like, growing up in L .A., I think that's the best advice you at camp, the teenager.

[777] I don't know why I listened to it, but I did.

[778] I wanted to grow up really fast, and I did grow up really fast.

[779] And then by the time I was 15, I actually was motivated and ready to start my life.

[780] I didn't feel the desire to go to college and to have that experience.

[781] I didn't think at the time.

[782] Yeah, now do you feel like you wish you would have lived in a dorm?

[783] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[784] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[785] Well, more because I loved school.

[786] I loved learning.

[787] I loved that experience.

[788] And I was shooting a movie called Set It Up in New York.

[789] And I was living in the West Village, and I was walking through the park.

[790] And I thought, oh, my God, my life is so fabulous.

[791] I was walking through and I was so humbled by me thinking my life was so fabulous when everyone in cap and gowns were walking by.

[792] And I just touched my face and there were just tears streaming down my face like, you're a failure.

[793] You didn't go to college, you loser.

[794] The only thing you get out of it, though, is just life experience of feeling like it's the first time you're on your own.

[795] We were just talking about this five minutes ago.

[796] Booty bumping.

[797] Well, I was doing that middle school.

[798] Excuse you.

[799] Yeah, how do you?

[800] But no, you get the first sense of like...

[801] Autonomy.

[802] Yeah.

[803] But you had that.

[804] You're writing your own story now.

[805] You're not like in someone else's story.

[806] You're like writing your own.

[807] It's wonderful.

[808] I don't know why I'm trying to minimize it.

[809] It is the best experience on Earth.

[810] It really is.

[811] I asked Monica, I'm like, what zone would you go back to if you could live any?

[812] Would it be college to me from the outside?

[813] It seems like that was your...

[814] And she's like, I think maybe.

[815] Wow.

[816] Really?

[817] What would be yours?

[818] Seventh grade.

[819] No fucking way.

[820] Absolutely.

[821] Pinnacle of my life.

[822] Actually?

[823] Thousand percent.

[824] I've said it on here a million times.

[825] Best year of my life.

[826] Me and my best friend, Aaron Weekly, we are in business.

[827] I'm cute that year.

[828] I don't have this nose yet.

[829] I don't have a lot of stuff.

[830] I'm popular as hell.

[831] I have a moped.

[832] I can go anywhere the fuck I want.

[833] I'm sleeping at my buddy's house.

[834] We go out as late as we want.

[835] It's heaven.

[836] Never got better than seventh grade.

[837] That's the year.

[838] Rocked.

[839] I would do anything to erase seventh grade.

[840] It's rough.

[841] That's common.

[842] Yeah.

[843] It's the most common.

[844] Why do you want to erase it?

[845] It was a horrible time.

[846] The boys and everyone was mean and it was horrible and I was very lost.

[847] I was very, very heavily bullied and I was the bully.

[848] I was very strong and fierce, but I was also truly tortured by these boys.

[849] I kissed some guy and his friend liked me and they decided I, it's a whole crazy story.

[850] I hope one of them somehow stumbles on this and listens to this.

[851] They decided I was a succubus.

[852] A succubus.

[853] Do you know what a succubus is?

[854] No, is it like a siren?

[855] A succubus is like your vagina has spikes in it.

[856] And so when you fuck a succubus, it destroys your penis.

[857] Something like that.

[858] I think we're going to have to look this one up.

[859] This is a fact checky.

[860] Right fact check moment.

[861] Fact check.

[862] Sucubis.

[863] Yeah.

[864] So then they would write songs about me and then it devolved.

[865] It became a whole like mythical lore thing and they would walk by me in school.

[866] Coughed by me like I was diseased.

[867] Oh my God.

[868] They would, my best friend Carver, who I'm often making out with on Instagram, people think we're in a relationship.

[869] We're not.

[870] I wonder why they think that.

[871] I know.

[872] It's 2022, Dax.

[873] People make out.

[874] Get over.

[875] The classic thing of like we'd have to eat lunch together in the gym in the bathroom because if they saw her, they'd start coughing at her because she was around me. And it became a whole thing.

[876] Anyway.

[877] And then there was a thing called honesty box, which was an anonymous submission thing.

[878] This sounds like a terrible idea in junior high.

[879] Go ahead.

[880] Oh, my God.

[881] And L .A., all the schools talk and everything.

[882] I was so canceled and so beyond.

[883] bullied in this way that it's sort of helped me in this life and the movie not okay is a lot about cancel culture and it's a what were you canceled over did you put something in the submission box no or just those boys that canceled you yeah yeah pariah because they probably just wanted to fuck me yeah of course they did and i wouldn't fuck them so they were like she's a succubus the one boy who liked you but his buddy made out with you and then they had beef so then they decided the way we're going to squash this beef is to hate you like you somehow made this happen but i also wasn't nice to them either.

[884] I was a bully, too, to them.

[885] Right.

[886] Were you a bully or were you just sticking up for yourself?

[887] Probably just sticking up for myself.

[888] Yeah.

[889] I accidentally came across my hard drive of those years and I saved every conversation.

[890] And I -game?

[891] It was I -chat.

[892] Are you younger than me?

[893] It was I -chat.

[894] We really just embarrassed yourself.

[895] She's my style.

[896] Was it on MS.

[897] Taws?

[898] I saw all of them and it was very fascinating.

[899] These were journal entries.

[900] They're known as you were communications with you.

[901] Conversations and what we were saying to each other.

[902] But it was great preparation for this career path.

[903] Because what could anyone say to me that is more hurtful than succubis?

[904] God damn.

[905] I mean, it's true.

[906] I am a succubis.

[907] I do have spikes in my vagina.

[908] You know, lose your dick if you fuck me, but it's worth it.

[909] You'll say goodbye with a smile on your face.

[910] Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

[911] we've all been there.

[912] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[913] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[914] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[915] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[916] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[917] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[918] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[919] Prime members can listen early and add free on Amazon Music.

[920] What's up guys?

[921] This is your girl Kiki and my podcast is back with a new season and let me tell you it's too good.

[922] diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[923] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[924] And I don't mean just friends.

[925] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[926] The list goes on.

[927] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[928] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[929] Okay.

[930] Everybody wants them.

[931] Link later.

[932] You got to work with him.

[933] Is he the most beautiful?

[934] I'm so jealous.

[935] He is so special, one of a kind, best person.

[936] One of my great regrets.

[937] This is a terrible status thing.

[938] It was a very dark, embarrassing thing to admit.

[939] But my movie hit and runs screened at, I think, South by Southwest.

[940] And there was a man sitting next to me. I didn't know what Link Later looked like.

[941] I'm an enormous fan of him, but I don't know what he looks like.

[942] And then after the movie, he tells me how much he liked the movie.

[943] He's got specific things.

[944] And I filed it in like, oh, that's a nice person who just sat by the thing.

[945] And then when I got up and walked away, another friend said, like, what was Link Later saying to you?

[946] And then I come to find out that was Link Later.

[947] And then I was mad at myself, like, I should have been etching that into my mind what he was saying.

[948] I wish I could have been receiving it.

[949] knowing it was coming from someone I idolized so much, I guess.

[950] I don't know if that's a set.

[951] It's an ego thing.

[952] It's also a respect thing.

[953] If you respect him, I understand that.

[954] He is really humble and special artists.

[955] It was very interesting making that movie.

[956] It was a very different process than anything.

[957] When I went to the audition, he picked me up at the airport.

[958] Oh, he did?

[959] Did you audition in Austin?

[960] I was shooting a movie in Boston, flew to Austin for the afternoon.

[961] Pick me up, and we went to breakfast together.

[962] And on the way, he played me the playlist for.

[963] the movie that ended up being all the songs in the movie.

[964] And then he asked me about my high school experience.

[965] I went to a performing arts high school.

[966] And I just started telling him about it.

[967] When I got the part and he sent me the new script, that whole thing I said, the whole monologue was in the script.

[968] He remembered it all.

[969] Oh, yeah.

[970] We all lived on his ranch while we were shooting it.

[971] Oh, my God.

[972] I mean, I actually lived on the street because I was the only girl in it.

[973] But the boys all lived in the ranch.

[974] And I was there every day with them.

[975] And he would sort of change and mold the characters based off of how because we all hung out for three weeks or whatever it was he is special okay okay and then we got a touchdown on wyatt can i tell you my i'm wyatt experience yes please i'm dating kate hudson i go up to their house in canada there's this sweet boy who's just deciding to stop playing hockey and he is playing guitar and writing songs and his heart is so clearly as big as a wheelbarrow and i find myself just inordinately attracted to wyatt as a person it's not like oh i'm going to be nice to my girlfriend's little brother.

[976] Where'd this little boy come from?

[977] He's so sweet and special.

[978] And then I saw him acting.

[979] I was like, oh my God, he's fucking a great actor.

[980] Like, he's an incredible actor.

[981] He's also your favorite type of actor.

[982] He's lived a lot of life.

[983] Been an athlete.

[984] He's been a songwriter.

[985] He's been a musician.

[986] He didn't want to do this.

[987] Yes, I love it.

[988] Yes.

[989] We love those actors.

[990] Did you adore him though?

[991] Yes, he's really wonderful.

[992] And his wife, Meredith is an amazing actress and person.

[993] Great jeans.

[994] I don't know her, but I'd like to get to know her.

[995] Meredith's great.

[996] She wasn't set it up.

[997] okay wonderful that was a huge movie for netflix by the way i don't know if you have that everybody wants them no set it up was huge and i know that because callie told me her best friend for many many decades is works at netflix and maybe she worked on set it up maybe that's why i heard so much about it that movie was so interesting it was an accident i think for them that it was as big of a hit as it was and that it spurred the desire for more rom -coms but i only knew that it was a big deal when a week and a half after, they were like, want to do Fallon?

[998] And I was like, a week and a half after the movie came out.

[999] And they were like, yeah, we're going to do a quick little meeting to show you the numbers.

[1000] And then all of a sudden, I'm in Times Square everywhere, set it up.

[1001] And I was like, what is going on?

[1002] It was so nice because I was so proud of the movie and I loved making the movie and I loved Claire and I loved Glenn and I loved Katie Silberman.

[1003] And for a movie that you had a good experience on to do well, you know how it is, usually the ones that are pain and suffering and blood, sweat and tears where you're like, please, oh, God, that's the one that does well.

[1004] So, anyway, it was a pleasant surprise.

[1005] Last boy I'm going to bring up, because that's my current crush right now is Nicholas Holt.

[1006] Oh.

[1007] PQs for Nicholas Holt.

[1008] Oh, my God.

[1009] Oh, my God.

[1010] PQs galore.

[1011] Do you know what PQs are?

[1012] No. They're code on this show.

[1013] We used to talk about them often.

[1014] Pussy quivers.

[1015] Yeah.

[1016] And certain things give you PQs.

[1017] Certain things called Nicholas Hull.

[1018] I think he's the human.

[1019] an embodiment of a PQ.

[1020] He is such a great guy.

[1021] I know.

[1022] He's so nice, right?

[1023] Love him.

[1024] We had such a great time together.

[1025] We've stayed friends, and I saw him recently when I was shooting in London, and he found the one deli in London and brought me Motsable Soup.

[1026] And we had Motsieball soup in High Park.

[1027] I love him.

[1028] How can you be that gorgeous and nice?

[1029] I told.

[1030] Oh, what a piece.

[1031] He's a great physique.

[1032] He's an incredible physique.

[1033] It's an incredible physique.

[1034] He does.

[1035] Has he been on your show?

[1036] Yeah.

[1037] Did he come here and just...

[1038] It was all wet.

[1039] I was spying.

[1040] Oh, my God, all wet.

[1041] We were all fucked up for days.

[1042] It was this impossible thing, very similar to the link later thing.

[1043] I had come to watch The Great, and I love it so much.

[1044] You watch The Great?

[1045] I do not yet.

[1046] Oh, my God, you must watch it.

[1047] I'm a super fan of it.

[1048] Comes on the show.

[1049] He goes, you know, we've hung out.

[1050] And I'm like, no, we haven't hung out.

[1051] I'm a huge fan.

[1052] He's gone to motorcycle track days where I'm there.

[1053] He's big on it.

[1054] And I'm pretty fast.

[1055] Oh, there you go.

[1056] I'm kind of pretty rad at the track.

[1057] Oh, my God.

[1058] And we had chatted, I guess, at one point for a half hour about riding and I found that impossible to believe.

[1059] Do you still ride motorist?

[1060] Do you still?

[1061] Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's still my life.

[1062] How does, how does, I would, I can't.

[1063] She doesn't give a fuck.

[1064] It would scare you?

[1065] Yes.

[1066] Of course.

[1067] You're scared.

[1068] I'm way too codependent, Alan to do that.

[1069] I would freak out.

[1070] I don't even know you and I'm going to now try to convince you that you should stop.

[1071] Because I think I can do that.

[1072] I think I can.

[1073] stop you.

[1074] I literally am like about to do a whole thing.

[1075] Do a whole thing?

[1076] No, like as if, no, I'm not gonna.

[1077] Okay.

[1078] I mean, I might.

[1079] But is there part of you, the Al -Anon part?

[1080] Does it become this weird challenge to whether or not I love you?

[1081] Like as if I loved you.

[1082] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1083] Oh, of course.

[1084] Yeah.

[1085] If you cared about me, then you would stop.

[1086] Yes.

[1087] I would keep myself alive for you.

[1088] Yeah.

[1089] Even as a full stranger, I know.

[1090] I know.

[1091] I know.

[1092] You should stop for me. I know, Monica.

[1093] That's our whole relationship.

[1094] Which, by the way, your day seven episode was so unbelievable.

[1095] I had so much love and empathy for you, too.

[1096] But when you were saying, you know, you were counting the pills and doing all that.

[1097] And one of the things that's so special about this podcast and you guys is that there is not a lot of awareness or discussion about addiction, about sobriety, about the program, about what it's like to love someone.

[1098] And you guys are doing a real service.

[1099] It inspires me and it makes me so happy.

[1100] Have you loved an addict?

[1101] Well, I asked if it was okay to mention this.

[1102] I have a parent that's 15 years sober.

[1103] Oh, wonderful.

[1104] My grandmother was 50 years.

[1105] Step -grandfather was 50.

[1106] And then my great -grandfather died of sources of liver at 59, I believe.

[1107] So three generations of addicts.

[1108] And then I, of course, dated an addict.

[1109] We're kind of fun, right, for a minute?

[1110] Way too fun.

[1111] And I have, of course, a lot of people in my life and in my orbit.

[1112] But I've witnessed such miracles around me. And a lot of success stories, I just feel very grateful that that was my experience.

[1113] It's such a taboo or stigmatized conversation.

[1114] I've never shied away from it.

[1115] And the fact that you guys don't and have such a huge platform is really cool.

[1116] Well, thank you.

[1117] It's a weird, it's always weird for me to get a compliment about that episode, obviously, because I've relapsed.

[1118] So this is a very abstract thing for me to receive, but I really appreciate that.

[1119] I think we always hear about the attic, right?

[1120] You don't really hear the other person's story.

[1121] in addiction as much.

[1122] Do you think that's what was novel about that?

[1123] To be able to hear what Monica goes through?

[1124] Yes.

[1125] Loving an addict is a whole other type of addiction too, by the way.

[1126] Oh, sure, sure.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] Yeah.

[1129] I was in the middle of a huge addiction with him.

[1130] A thousand percent.

[1131] Like huge.

[1132] And I didn't know that.

[1133] All I was doing was monitoring him and being so hyper aware and living in that state of I can fix you.

[1134] I can be the one.

[1135] I'll call it out.

[1136] I'll do this.

[1137] Only now with a lot of work and continued work, do I know that's my issue.

[1138] If you're not in it, you don't love an addict or you don't have someone in your life.

[1139] Everybody loves an addict.

[1140] I don't know.

[1141] But they might not know.

[1142] That's what I'm saying.

[1143] Yes.

[1144] Exactly.

[1145] It just takes so much introspection that most people don't have to do.

[1146] So I'm grateful to do because it really forces you to look at yourself in a way that I didn't have to before.

[1147] That side of it's not exploring.

[1148] a lot in TV, in interviews, and whatever.

[1149] And I think it's not an obvious addiction because you think of an addiction as this one thing.

[1150] But in reality, if you look at an addiction, just being anything external that you regulate your inside with and you do it compulsively and it's in charge of your life, then that's kind of an addiction.

[1151] And it's having consequences.

[1152] Yeah.

[1153] And that can be another person in your life.

[1154] Is this a pattern or was this sort of the first?

[1155] I'm sure it was a pattern, but not with.

[1156] More mental illness, maybe.

[1157] Right.

[1158] I definitely have.

[1159] I have, I think, a pattern in life of wanting to control the feelings around me or being attracted to people with some mental illness and then being the one that's like on high alert.

[1160] Just on high alert.

[1161] Like, oh my God, are they?

[1162] Are they slipping here?

[1163] Are they this?

[1164] Like in college, if people were getting really fucked up, were you like, I'm not going to drink tonight so that I can make sure they're okay or no. Nothing would get in the way of her drinking.

[1165] No. Like, that's me. If I went out with you, I could tell you the next day how many drinks you had.

[1166] And you could tell me, no, I have to, nope, and I'm right.

[1167] Every time I know exactly how many drinks.

[1168] I'm so obsessive about everyone else's behavior around you.

[1169] Oh, my God.

[1170] And I am annoying, too.

[1171] I'm the arbiter of what's okay and it's not okay.

[1172] You're levying verdicts.

[1173] Oh, I'm the worst.

[1174] Addict, borderline, not addict.

[1175] Me too.

[1176] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1177] What's your relationship with drinking and drugs and whatnot?

[1178] You know, my grandma was so intense about it.

[1179] She was the one who had 50 years.

[1180] I should back up and say, as you know, No, at that time, no one.

[1181] And she was.

[1182] And a woman on top of it.

[1183] That's what I'm saying.

[1184] That was not a thing.

[1185] No, the fucking book is to the wives, not to the husbands.

[1186] And she was a badass.

[1187] She was really intense about it.

[1188] I was six.

[1189] And she was like, you can't drink.

[1190] I was always terrified of being out of control and about substances.

[1191] And I was always obsessed with everybody around me and they're drinking.

[1192] I had that too, by the way, with an alcoholic parent who was in recovery.

[1193] I was in a ass.

[1194] Yeah, yeah.

[1195] I didn't drink.

[1196] That was my thing.

[1197] It's like, I'm not ever going to drink because my dad's a drunk.

[1198] my uncle is a crack addict, uncles who killed each other.

[1199] So I wasn't going to do it.

[1200] And then I was like, wait, I'm going to try it.

[1201] Wait, I am going to try it.

[1202] I will not be told that I can't do this, ultimately is what happened.

[1203] Dax, I will not let you tell me how I can't do it.

[1204] But yeah, hyper aware of everyone.

[1205] And by the way, my mom found the bag of just incriminating everything.

[1206] I can't imagine the fear that she felt when she saw that of, oh, fuck.

[1207] We got a fourth generationer on our hands.

[1208] I can't imagine the feeling.

[1209] I was so scared for so long and I am still so obsessed with other people's drinking and obsessed with all of it, but I don't identify, but I'm terrified.

[1210] Well, that's what's weird is like if you're fourth generation as I am and a lot of people are, even if you avoid it, it'll never be not something in your life, just the fact that you have to always be checking in with yourself.

[1211] You just inherit that.

[1212] You might not have that combination at all, but it'll still be very active in your brain.

[1213] And I'm sure my kids, however normal, I try to make it for them, they know I'm a fucking addict.

[1214] So, yeah, it's got to be in there.

[1215] Will you ever let yourself get wrecked?

[1216] Will you get hammered sometimes and have some fun?

[1217] I mean, I have fun.

[1218] I love, like, a nice dinner party and stuff.

[1219] But no, I'm not.

[1220] I don't.

[1221] My problem is, and I don't even like saying it, is that I'm not obsessed with alcohol.

[1222] I'm obsessed with other people's consumption of alcohol.

[1223] And it's, I have not dealt with it enough.

[1224] I'm aware that it's something I really need to pay attention to and focus on myself.

[1225] Keep the focus on myself, which I'm not great at it.

[1226] Yeah, like I'm really, really fucking bad at it, which is funny considering I'm constantly thinking about myself.

[1227] So, like, you would think I would be able to keep the focus on myself.

[1228] But that's why it's scary to focus on yourself.

[1229] There's a lot once you start doing that.

[1230] Yeah.

[1231] You also have the perfect job to not focus on yourself.

[1232] And this is what I loved about when I was going from movie to movie as you're now doing.

[1233] You're going from movie to movie to movie.

[1234] Okay, for the next two months, I'm going to focus on this imaginary character, and I'm going to be that person.

[1235] And I really won't have to think too much about myself.

[1236] I'll be home for what's your turn around, your sleep.

[1237] Maybe three hours a day you might have to, but now you're learning your shit for the next day.

[1238] It's a great reprieve from you, thinking about you, and then you hop right in the next one and requires all your attention again.

[1239] And then your focus is on this, and then now you go to sell it.

[1240] So it's a good job to not have to ever do any of the hardcore focusing.

[1241] No, I mean, don't worry.

[1242] I'm still in therapy 24 -7.

[1243] Okay, okay, good, I go, you're still in.

[1244] With my real and my woo -woo therapist, don't worry.

[1245] I got all that.

[1246] Oh, you got the whole team.

[1247] Yeah, no crystals yet.

[1248] It's coming.

[1249] 30's approaching.

[1250] I'm sure in three years, I turned 30, and I'll just acquire a crystal cave.

[1251] You're doing pretty good for 27.

[1252] No, I don't know about that.

[1253] She's 28.

[1254] Are you 28?

[1255] 27.

[1256] Oh, you're 27?

[1257] She said three years.

[1258] I did fast math.

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] Oh, okay.

[1261] You really shouldn't, by the way.

[1262] I'm at the vantage point where you got no business.

[1263] in your 20s.

[1264] This shouldn't even be on the priority list.

[1265] Oh, working on yourself?

[1266] Yes.

[1267] It's a big enough job.

[1268] Kick it down the road to the 30.

[1269] I'm going to bring it back to my sister who's so annoying.

[1270] She's so into it and knows herself.

[1271] Maybe part of the reason why I love listening to your point of view on the world and how you interview people is you can always go deeper.

[1272] I hear you sometimes go like, there it is.

[1273] And it reminds me of her and I get frustrated by it with her sometimes.

[1274] It's just like, why can't I just say something and it just be something?

[1275] And she's a writer and she's very smart, but I'm like, why She's a musician, do you?

[1276] Yeah, she's everything.

[1277] But I'm like, why does everything have to be?

[1278] And I think some of my friends would say this about me, but she take this to another level.

[1279] If I'm being totally candid with you, I think you do too, in a great way.

[1280] Right.

[1281] With her, I'm like, why can't I just say something and you not take it to this earth -shattering, gut -wrenching, deep fucking place?

[1282] It's exhausting.

[1283] No, but I love it.

[1284] Oh, but why did I say that?

[1285] Oh, because she's always working on herself and always finding the root.

[1286] And sometimes I just go, sometimes I just go, well, that happened?

[1287] Let's move on.

[1288] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1289] That's okay, too.

[1290] Well, believe me, I have this debate with myself all the time.

[1291] Can't you just stop thinking about being alive?

[1292] Is it time to just let it all go and just eat your breakfast, then work out, then do this, then do that?

[1293] Do I have to always find out where it's coming from?

[1294] Do I have to always find out what my motive is?

[1295] It's exhausting.

[1296] And I have a fantasy that I could not do that.

[1297] But in reality, when I don't do that, I end up fucked up.

[1298] So maybe your sister is like me and it's not an option.

[1299] As much as it would be great to just go like, just exist.

[1300] Let it fucking roll off your back.

[1301] I've tried that approach.

[1302] I know exactly where I'll end up.

[1303] And I'm sure I'm so annoying to certain people who are just cruising through life.

[1304] And they're like, let it go, buddy.

[1305] If I'm being dead honest with myself, it's not a luxury I have.

[1306] I can't carry resentments against people.

[1307] Not an option for me. I'll drink over it.

[1308] I can't have expectations.

[1309] It doesn't work for me. Well, by the way, I'm coming from five hours of junkin interviews where you're just saying nothing.

[1310] There's nothing more exhausting in the world than talking about nothing.

[1311] even if you go to a dinner party.

[1312] How are you good?

[1313] I would rather talk about my deepest, darkest secrets, and I would rather talk about the worst thing than do small talk.

[1314] I find it to be atrocious.

[1315] It's hyperbole.

[1316] It's excruciating.

[1317] That being said, you don't want to be around people who don't want to go deep.

[1318] But it's a funny quality my sister has where she's always going deep.

[1319] Let's just talk about TopCon.

[1320] Great movie, right?

[1321] It's just fucking great, right?

[1322] We don't need to worry about the...

[1323] Our version of that is when we live, look at fashion.

[1324] That's why I love it.

[1325] It's such an escape.

[1326] It's a beautiful thing.

[1327] She's brutal, though.

[1328] Uh -oh.

[1329] With you?

[1330] No, with everyone else.

[1331] She's brutal.

[1332] Cutthroat.

[1333] And that's why I'm probably, I pay so much attention to clothing because I'm like, uh -oh, she's going to be like, what is she wearing?

[1334] She's also a writer.

[1335] So the insults she comes up with are like, you'd be like, what?

[1336] Very colorful.

[1337] You're going to remember it because it was novel and unique.

[1338] Well, so far you're doing great.

[1339] I have not seen a mistake made.

[1340] Not a foot misplaced.

[1341] Is that a fear?

[1342] Total fear.

[1343] Well, then I was also sad because you're much shorter than I thought you were going to be.

[1344] That is sad.

[1345] I'm sorry.

[1346] Yeah.

[1347] You should be apologizing to me. When I see pictures, I'm always like, oh, part of the reason that looks so impeccable.

[1348] Your story.

[1349] Is because she's tall.

[1350] Yeah, you're like, I couldn't look that good because I'm not tall.

[1351] Yeah, like, I'll never.

[1352] I wouldn't be able to pull that off because I'm short and she's tall.

[1353] That's why it works.

[1354] I'm like, that's not true.

[1355] Yeah, you can't say that anymore.

[1356] You would be lying to yourself and everyone that was.

[1357] listening.

[1358] That's really upsetting.

[1359] Okay, now we got to talk about we don't got to.

[1360] We want to talk about not okay.

[1361] You were hinting at it a little bit.

[1362] You were doing a good job.

[1363] You're a good boy.

[1364] Well, I produce this one, so I'm not on the road.

[1365] Right, right, right, right.

[1366] It doesn't it change everything when it's yours?

[1367] Yeah.

[1368] Being an actor, you don't have as much power as people think you do unless you're a certain type of actor.

[1369] And power, I don't mean in like a negative way.

[1370] I mean, you don't have any say.

[1371] You're not holding the steering wheel a lot.

[1372] Never, really.

[1373] You think you are.

[1374] They make you think you are, but you're not.

[1375] But when you have more power and when you're a producer and you can be involved in these things, it changes the whole experience.

[1376] It does.

[1377] And yeah, so not okay.

[1378] How did it come to you?

[1379] Quinn Shepard, who wrote it and directed it.

[1380] And she is also an actor.

[1381] Yes.

[1382] Yes.

[1383] I always like when actors turn to the pen and the directing.

[1384] I do too.

[1385] I mean, there are people who.

[1386] Oh, my God.

[1387] Let's answer it.

[1388] Oh, my God.

[1389] Is it your sister?

[1390] Who is it?

[1391] Oh, my God.

[1392] I was literally, you beat me to.

[1393] Should we FaceTime?

[1394] I'm him.

[1395] Oh, my God.

[1396] I would love it.

[1397] He probably wouldn't answer my face then, but I bet he'd answer yours.

[1398] He's busy.

[1399] I know.

[1400] He's so many PQs to administer.

[1401] I'm trying to do another movie with him, you guys.

[1402] Who isn't?

[1403] By the way, all of our feet are like going.

[1404] As soon as he came up.

[1405] We're all a titter.

[1406] Oh, my God.

[1407] He's racing cars now, too.

[1408] So sexy for Ferrari.

[1409] Is he really?

[1410] Yeah.

[1411] It is so sexy.

[1412] Even though you hate it.

[1413] You don't like F1 or any of that?

[1414] Oh, no. I love it.

[1415] But I would find it scary.

[1416] Duh.

[1417] Wait a minute.

[1418] Who's your guy?

[1419] Charles Leclerc?

[1420] No. Okay.

[1421] Can I just say really random?

[1422] And he's not my favorite, but I just want to talk about him for one second.

[1423] Boat Us.

[1424] Boatess never gets the credit that he deserves.

[1425] He was such a team player.

[1426] He was such a kind person.

[1427] He was like the true definition of sportsmanship.

[1428] Not that I know anything about sports.

[1429] As I say it, I'm like, the word sports coming out of my mouth doesn't even feel the sports.

[1430] I've caught it.

[1431] I'm honest.

[1432] Sportsmanship.

[1433] Like all of a sudden I'm like a different person.

[1434] There's a different person.

[1435] Boys come on me. Well, it almost sounds like you're pitching canoeing in the 30s.

[1436] Like a sportsman takes to the lakes of Great North Michigan.

[1437] Okay.

[1438] I love Hamilton.

[1439] I really do.

[1440] Botas really quick, just on him.

[1441] Let's wrap that up.

[1442] I met him in Monica.

[1443] We went to the Grand Prix.

[1444] And my boyfriend and I and Sean and Nina, Sean White, who was here last week.

[1445] Oh my God.

[1446] You're in with that?

[1447] Yeah, so Sean, Nina.

[1448] My boyfriend and I, we all went to, we went to.

[1449] We went to your boyfriend.

[1450] Yeah, who's your boyfriend?

[1451] Jimmy, Jimmy Tadshaw.

[1452] What if you like, Nicholas Hole?

[1453] Oh my God.

[1454] I would spray all over the trip.

[1455] But we all went to the Grand Prix and then we went after to the Maldives together.

[1456] It was a crazy trip.

[1457] We did a crazy couple's trip.

[1458] I got to get a boyfriend so I can join your trip.

[1459] And it's nuts.

[1460] Between Nina and I, we plan.

[1461] It should be illegal.

[1462] But anyway, Boat Us was just such a sweetheart.

[1463] Did you know who any of you were?

[1464] Because I just introduced myself to him in Austria a few weeks ago.

[1465] No fucking clue.

[1466] And he had already been scheduled.

[1467] Everybody knew Sean.

[1468] Of course, Sean.

[1469] So going to the Grand Prix with Sean was a whole.

[1470] once in a lifetime experience because the respect, you know, that the athletes had for him.

[1471] He's a Michael Jordan.

[1472] And he's such a special, wonderful guy.

[1473] I'm stuck in the word special and wonderful.

[1474] It's okay.

[1475] Do you know what that happens when you get stuck in a word?

[1476] Yeah, it gets in your head.

[1477] And then you, I don't know what I'll put them out.

[1478] No. Keep it.

[1479] And we can do a ding every time I say it.

[1480] And at the end, you can tell it and go, hey, and Zoe DeWich said special 49 times.

[1481] And this one of, you would hate this when we make it a drinking game.

[1482] Perfect.

[1483] Yeah.

[1484] That's what they do on The Bachelor.

[1485] Water shots, kids, water shots.

[1486] If you cut it, it would be so funny because it would just go, he's such a guy.

[1487] And he's such a person.

[1488] No, what I honestly would do, but maybe I won't because we're talking about it.

[1489] I would keep special once.

[1490] And then I'd keep wonderful another time.

[1491] And you'd bounce back and forth.

[1492] Spread it out.

[1493] Okay, great.

[1494] Spread the wealth of my.

[1495] Uh -huh.

[1496] On a lack of intelligence.

[1497] Hamilton, we loved meeting him.

[1498] He was very, very kind.

[1499] special wonderful no kidding he was especially wonderful who's your favorite we're very good friends with ricardo yeah love so daniel ricardo i want him to win every race given the fact that if he can't win max is my guy he is the most talented motherfucker by such a landslide i share your opinion i share your opinion we've argued about it all the time he is a driving ai he cares about a single thing in life doesn't care if you like him i respect that i really do When I came into the sport, he was an underdog, which I love underdogs.

[1500] It would have been hard for me to come in with Lewis on years.

[1501] Yeah, I think it's so exciting the year that Botas is having at Alpha.

[1502] It's so wonderful.

[1503] I'm so happy for him.

[1504] He deserves all that.

[1505] And we're seeing that he was a really incredible driver.

[1506] Do you love Toto or no?

[1507] Obsessed.

[1508] Herb, herb.

[1509] If you were to ask me who the biggest.

[1510] Herb sussess as a squash.

[1511] What's your pussy squash?

[1512] I have a question for you.

[1513] Abre squash?

[1514] What was it?

[1515] Sub.

[1516] What was it?

[1517] Subs her.

[1518] Aaron?

[1519] I'm just going to let you keep going.

[1520] Subsack?

[1521] Subsets.

[1522] Sassie squads?

[1523] I forget what it is.

[1524] I'm not forgetting.

[1525] Sucububis.

[1526] Sucubes.

[1527] If you ask me who's the number one badass in Formula One, my answer would have been Toto Wolf.

[1528] I'm obsessed with him and he was so nice.

[1529] He's a fucking PQ giver, right?

[1530] I love Toto.

[1531] Dotto.

[1532] Interesting.

[1533] He's too clinical for me. How about the last scene in Drive to Survive Season 3 or 4, whatever the last one was?

[1534] They said, does Red Bull have?

[1535] a bullseye in their back next year.

[1536] He said, everybody has a bozzer.

[1537] And it's like, I'll kill everyone.

[1538] But he was not as cold and like you said clinical as like.

[1539] He's an elegant man. He was hot as hell.

[1540] He would fuck you up.

[1541] Beyond.

[1542] Yes.

[1543] It's obvious.

[1544] He brings the thunder in the sheets.

[1545] That guy fucks.

[1546] Do you think some of the drivers stink?

[1547] This is Monica's thing.

[1548] Do they smell?

[1549] For sure.

[1550] And some of them pee themselves.

[1551] That's a whole thing.

[1552] They say that.

[1553] Don't worry about it.

[1554] No, no, no. They have to pee themselves sometimes because they can't leave.

[1555] So they do for sure they smell.

[1556] Well, definitely on NASCAR they do.

[1557] Now, let's talk about what driver we think fucks the best because I have an opinion on that.

[1558] Let's go.

[1559] You count down three, two, one, we say it.

[1560] No, wait.

[1561] Yeah, because I got a hunch we like time.

[1562] But I don't know.

[1563] Do you have a, I mean, just something hit you.

[1564] But we didn't let, this is driver's a switch.

[1565] He's so hard.

[1566] Oh my God.

[1567] You're so messed up.

[1568] You got to take three days off after Toto comes to town.

[1569] No, I'm never working again.

[1570] So who makes your dick hard?

[1571] I think the guy who you'd be fucking and all of a sudden you're like, oh my God, why is my Oh, my God, what's this?

[1572] Oh, my God, what's that Kiki thing he did?

[1573] Is Carlos Sines.

[1574] I need to, like, see his face.

[1575] Yeah, look at his face.

[1576] I want to see him look at me. Carlos.

[1577] He's very handsome.

[1578] He's very sexy.

[1579] They're all sexy, but I think the only driver that I want to have sex with his dating.

[1580] Oh, Ricardo.

[1581] Do you think maybe he stinks?

[1582] You don't think that guy's eating your ass on the first date?

[1583] Maybe that's why he stinks.

[1584] His mouth is full of shit.

[1585] That dude is eating your ass date number one.

[1586] That's all I'm saying.

[1587] This is not in my words for the record.

[1588] I didn't say.

[1589] We've already done this.

[1590] Yeah, this has already been taken care of.

[1591] You didn't comment.

[1592] That's fine.

[1593] You're safe.

[1594] I feel like you'd like Danny because he's so like fun.

[1595] He's the best personality by far.

[1596] I love his nose too.

[1597] Totally.

[1598] And his eyes are gorgeous.

[1599] Great nose.

[1600] Same eyes is Monica.

[1601] That's kind of a narcissistic compliment because they have the exact same eyeballs.

[1602] No, his eyes are better than mine.

[1603] No. I'm not going to sit here.

[1604] I'm listening to talk about my friend like this.

[1605] Has anybody as a first time guest, By the way, you're friends with her, right?

[1606] You've been known her forever.

[1607] Yeah, but go ahead.

[1608] I like this so much, by the way.

[1609] I love that you don't have a door here.

[1610] I immediately feel more comfortable.

[1611] It feels very like we're vibe in, no issues.

[1612] Bohemians, if you will.

[1613] Carlos is on his way in.

[1614] You're going to be like, what day is it when he leaves?

[1615] Dax is considering putting a door up and I'm very against it.

[1616] I don't think you should.

[1617] Why?

[1618] A lot of people don't feel like us.

[1619] They want a door?

[1620] They don't want an exhibition style.

[1621] Well, that's, it's kind of on them, but...

[1622] That is on them.

[1623] They shouldn't be here.

[1624] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1625] We're not servicing not okay.

[1626] I got to tell you something right now.

[1627] I tried with everything I had to watch your movie.

[1628] I can show you the emails.

[1629] Do they make it difficult for you?

[1630] Oh my God, they wanted me to download an app that's an authenticator.

[1631] I hit them with an email.

[1632] I said, you want me to pay $7 .99 a month to have this app so that I can watch this movie.

[1633] so that I can talk to your star about the movie.

[1634] This is bonkers.

[1635] I aired my grievance with them.

[1636] And they said, we're going to get someone from IT to contact you.

[1637] And then they didn't do that either.

[1638] So here we are.

[1639] I wanted you to know that I would have definitely watched your movie.

[1640] I would not disrespect you and have not watched it before you got here.

[1641] I really tried my hardest.

[1642] I've only seen the trailer.

[1643] I did watch it four times to try to get as much out of it as I possibly could.

[1644] But do you got to pee?

[1645] No. You promise.

[1646] You just got curious.

[1647] And now you're covering your vagina.

[1648] but everything's fine.

[1649] Don't talk about her vagina.

[1650] You can talk about her vagina.

[1651] She's not covering her knees.

[1652] Now she's pulling her vagina out.

[1653] She's in her band show.

[1654] My belly button ring is infected.

[1655] Oh, great.

[1656] And so the genes were pressing against it.

[1657] So now I'm putting something soft.

[1658] A little buffer.

[1659] Do you want to say?

[1660] No, I want you to do.

[1661] Okay.

[1662] I'm going to offer Dax's services to you for your belly button infection because I had a piercing infection in my ear.

[1663] Two.

[1664] I had two.

[1665] And it was not.

[1666] Bad, bad.

[1667] I had really let it go.

[1668] I've been putting hydrogen peroxide on it.

[1669] That's what I did.

[1670] Nope.

[1671] What do you have to do?

[1672] You have to cut it out.

[1673] I cut her's out.

[1674] Cut out what?

[1675] The rings.

[1676] No, I'm not taking out.

[1677] What are you talking about?

[1678] Take out the ring.

[1679] I've been down this road before.

[1680] Wait.

[1681] That was like great, you're going to lose your fucking ear.

[1682] Wait, take out the whole ring out and then do what?

[1683] Put a new one in?

[1684] Mm -hmm.

[1685] You have to let it heal.

[1686] Well, first of all, I'm going to cut it out.

[1687] Then I'm going to irrigate it.

[1688] And then we're going to put some neosporin on it.

[1689] And we're going to let it sit.

[1690] until it gets not red.

[1691] I can't.

[1692] I have to go to a screening.

[1693] I would, but I have to go to a screening right now.

[1694] My question to you is, would you want to see the video of me cutting it out of her ear in the pus then exploding out?

[1695] Ella.

[1696] That's a pass.

[1697] She doesn't.

[1698] And no one does.

[1699] My sisters watch the video.

[1700] No, my sisters watch the video hundreds of times.

[1701] Does yours have a big bump in it?

[1702] Yeah, bump.

[1703] Why don't you take a look?

[1704] I don't feel like it's my place to look that close to everybody.

[1705] There's crusty stuff because I have to take the crusty stuff out.

[1706] I'm not sure it's right Uh -oh, might need to come out I still have all the tools Yours looked angry Yours looked fucking pissed Like hornets head swarmed it and stung your ear But it is really red And I think I need to probably get out of there Now I'm peep Okay, now go peepee Make a pee pee pee I can't wait one second longer after that Yeah I think that's got to come out It's probably the metal that's causing it.

[1707] And you probably have some bacteria on that metal that we need to get out of there.

[1708] Did you use a Hello Bella wipe?

[1709] It is embarrassing.

[1710] We don't have a fucking towel.

[1711] We're not doing a great job.

[1712] This place isn't doing so good.

[1713] Anyways, not okay.

[1714] Not okay is about a girl who fakes a trip to Paris for attention from her coworker who she has a crush on.

[1715] When she's allegedly in Paris, she posts on Instagram that she's at the Arc de Triumph She goes to bed and she wakes up, and at the exact time she posted at Director Triumph, there was a terrorist attack.

[1716] So now she has to.

[1717] She decides to go along with the lie, and it's the sort of unfolding of that.

[1718] It's a dark comedy satire.

[1719] So you become the most hated person in the world, right?

[1720] Yes.

[1721] But after she becomes a survivor in it is, you know, an exploration of cancel culture, of internet, fame, of loneliness.

[1722] There's just a whole lot of stuff in there to unpack.

[1723] And it's a really neat movie.

[1724] The one thing that I think the internet is uniquely cruel about is we just love when people fuck up.

[1725] Like, we just live for it.

[1726] Well, we sit behind our computers and we play God and we decide who gets to live or die.

[1727] It's so interesting.

[1728] Like, if I ask anybody if they believe in redemption, of course.

[1729] Of course.

[1730] But nine out of ten times are saying that because they want to believe that if they fuck up, they make a mistake that they'll be forgiven.

[1731] And nine out of ten times they watch other people fuck up and they don't forgive them.

[1732] It's not a unique or new thing.

[1733] thing human beings canceling or publicly shaming that's scarlet letter the witches beginning of time we've been publicly shaming what did you just say cursible there are people that come to represent for us global sin and we like culturally when one offering goes down for the things that we've also done or our indiscretions or things that we like to confirm we all agree societally is wrong there's a very weird social primate aspect to it.

[1734] We're going to torch this person.

[1735] And it's kind of like a collective catharsis of our fear of if we did this thing.

[1736] But yet we participate in it.

[1737] It's very complex.

[1738] But isn't it also unity?

[1739] Like gossip is what it is because it brings people together.

[1740] I mean, gossip can also not be bad.

[1741] It can be just talking about something that you heard about.

[1742] It doesn't have to be negative.

[1743] We have a negative connotation to it now.

[1744] But like gossip unites.

[1745] It brings people together because you agree on something.

[1746] Right.

[1747] And that feels good to be a part of something with another person and same thing with canceling if you're together on a united front it's like a very primal yeah well and often i think people want to do the thing and then they stop themselves and it's hard to do that and then when someone else does the thing they just desperately wanted to do and then they get punished they feel like this confirmation like that's right that's why i didn't do it there's some weird joy in knowing that the person that did the thing you wanted to do got destroyed by it and you're grateful you didn't do the thing.

[1748] I have a friend who never gets caught and I get caught.

[1749] Anytime I've even told the tiniest white lie, I was immediately caught or I out myself because I can't.

[1750] And it's because I want to, but I have a friend who never gets caught.

[1751] Isn't it weird that people either are or not?

[1752] What is that?

[1753] I don't get caught.

[1754] My brother got caught for everything.

[1755] You don't get caught.

[1756] I got in a way with murder.

[1757] Really?

[1758] Yes.

[1759] I've gotten away with everything.

[1760] The fact that I never got a DUI is insane.

[1761] The fact that I never went to jail is insane.

[1762] So many things.

[1763] The fact that I didn't OD from any of the combinations that everyone else.

[1764] You just never got caught.

[1765] I never got caught.

[1766] It's a blessing and it's a curse because your consequences aren't coming as quickly as they should.

[1767] I never driven even with a sip of alcohol in my system, not even like a sip of beer in past.

[1768] Never anything.

[1769] Never once in my life.

[1770] I bet you if I had one beer, I go to jail.

[1771] And I don't know what that's about.

[1772] Do you want to?

[1773] I must want to get caught because I never have not.

[1774] Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend?

[1775] No. I haven't.

[1776] Well, hold on a second.

[1777] That was a pretty long pause.

[1778] You had to think about it.

[1779] And I think you would know right away.

[1780] Emotional cheating.

[1781] Okay, okay, okay.

[1782] And then did you get busted for that?

[1783] I told them.

[1784] Okay.

[1785] You busted yourself.

[1786] Yeah, that's what I do, though.

[1787] I'm fascinated by people that never get caught.

[1788] Yeah.

[1789] What would you pick?

[1790] There's a downside to it.

[1791] I kind of like getting caught.

[1792] I do, for the most part, honestly, lead an honest life.

[1793] Right.

[1794] And a lot of people don't like me, probably, but I'm very honest.

[1795] honest.

[1796] And when I do something bad, I tell you right away.

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] That's a reliable, trustworthy person.

[1799] Yeah.

[1800] That's good.

[1801] That's a friend I want.

[1802] Yeah.

[1803] Really?

[1804] Yes, absolutely.

[1805] Okay.

[1806] This character, she gets caught.

[1807] It's an intense downward spiral of what comes next.

[1808] Why did Quinn want to tell this story?

[1809] She was so fatigued and struck by the endless scrolling of school shootings and then hair gummy ads and then influencers and then terrorist attack and you're just like the like barrage of information and what it does to you, I think you actually would really enjoy it and it's brave and polarizing.

[1810] She's very lonely.

[1811] She's nobody because she's not pleasant to be around, by the way, to be clear.

[1812] Right.

[1813] She's privileged.

[1814] She's entitled.

[1815] And she makes this choice out of complete loneliness and fear.

[1816] Her growth is only in that she finds somebody who really is a friend to her for the first time.

[1817] and how transformative real true friendship can be, which I know for myself, it is the most transformative thing, a friend and somebody having your back and seeing you and sharing your experience with you.

[1818] It's what life is about.

[1819] And she realizes that is what she was looking for.

[1820] She was craving connection.

[1821] She wasn't craving fame or this boy's love or whatever the fuck it is.

[1822] She was craving a friend.

[1823] Yes.

[1824] Which is really just based.

[1825] So human.

[1826] Yeah.

[1827] Yeah.

[1828] The thing about this character.

[1829] that was so brutal for me to play and why I wanted to play her was how embarrassing she is.

[1830] I don't know if you guys have this, if there's a certain emotion that you hate more than anything to access when you're acting.

[1831] Mine is embarrassment because it goes back to the thing before we're talking about which is like, I want to get it.

[1832] I want to understand.

[1833] And when you're embarrassed, usually you're embarrassed because you didn't get something.

[1834] It was the most uncomfortable thing in the world to sit for 26 days in pure shame and embarrassment.

[1835] Before she makes this mistake, she's saying really cringy, horrible things.

[1836] By the way, I'm really trying not to be cognizant, these are cringy, embarrassing things when I'm saying them.

[1837] I'm just aware because the crew is cringing.

[1838] I'm trying to truly play this very straight, very serious, play it like a tragedy, but I can feel the crew around me like, oh, God, why you?

[1839] You know, and the grip is like, oh my Jesus, crue.

[1840] Like Nathan for you.

[1841] Yeah, and I love that show.

[1842] And it was so challenging to sit in embarrassment for 26 days.

[1843] I felt so uncomfortable.

[1844] I hate playing embarrassed.

[1845] I'll do anything not to be embarrassed.

[1846] Yeah.

[1847] Yeah, it's the worst feeling.

[1848] Is that the feeling for you, too?

[1849] Oh, yeah, I cry.

[1850] I cry immediately.

[1851] God, I even have the tinge of embarrassment.

[1852] I am crying.

[1853] Got it.

[1854] A lot.

[1855] The opening of the movie is a scene where she's talking to her boss about how she wrote an article that she feels left out because she was on a cruise with her family and was not in New York City when 9 -11 happened.

[1856] But she doesn't know anyone that died there and everybody else in school had this experience.

[1857] Yeah.

[1858] Which, by the way, it sounds like a. vice article.

[1859] It really does.

[1860] It sounds like some sort of op -ed controversial vice article, but it's nuts.

[1861] Mourning the loss of trauma, which of course she has trauma.

[1862] Her trauma is just not one that she wants it to be.

[1863] It's a little fun though, right?

[1864] Yes, it was very fun.

[1865] It was very fun, but it was uncomfortable.

[1866] Related question.

[1867] Did you when you were a kid and do you even still sometimes like to do weird things in front of the mirror until you embarrass yourself?

[1868] For sure.

[1869] Because I live for that.

[1870] Monica doesn't do it.

[1871] I don't get embarrassed by myself.

[1872] You could.

[1873] You could.

[1874] Good.

[1875] You got to try harder.

[1876] Maybe.

[1877] You're doing faces and you make a gross voice and then you're acting.

[1878] You're doing something super inappropriate.

[1879] I mean, I do weird shit when I by myself.

[1880] Lots of weird stuff.

[1881] Never enough, though, to embarrass yourself.

[1882] I'm weird.

[1883] I'm weird.

[1884] I'm so weird.

[1885] I promise.

[1886] Oh, I didn't mean to pose it like you're prude because you don't do this.

[1887] You don't push it to you're embarrassed.

[1888] No, I don't.

[1889] I don't do it as like a hobby.

[1890] Let me look in the mirror until I get embarrassed now.

[1891] No, I don't do that.

[1892] I'm one of those pretentious annoying.

[1893] people who do a lot of work before I take it to a level where it's like, okay, we're cool.

[1894] We can not, even if it's like straight up studio comedy, I'm picking an animal and I'm doing movement.

[1895] What am I trying to prove?

[1896] I'm not really sure.

[1897] It's obviously to myself.

[1898] But the point of it is that the most valuable lessons I've learned from these crash courses I enroll myself in before I play a part is I embarrass myself so much before that by the time I get to set, it's really hard.

[1899] If I fall on my face on set or if I say something stupid or if I, I scream at a, you know, and I look like a nut job.

[1900] I'm not going to be more embarrassing than when I did a movie with Nick Holt.

[1901] My animal that I chose for the part was a dolphin.

[1902] And so when I was prepping and I was with my movement teacher, he was like, do the scene, 100 % dolphin.

[1903] It was like a dance scene with Nick.

[1904] And I do the scene 100 % dolphin.

[1905] Are you squeaking in stuff?

[1906] Yeah, I look insane.

[1907] I'm alone in a theater.

[1908] And then it's 50 % and then it's 25.

[1909] And then it's three.

[1910] And then you're just at 1 % dolphin.

[1911] And then whatever it is, you learn some sort of characteristic or mannerism.

[1912] And it's always very useful.

[1913] but what's the most useful of anything, you're free.

[1914] I looked like an idiot.

[1915] There's nothing I can do today on set that was weirder than a hundred percent dolphin at the Odyssey Theater.

[1916] Right.

[1917] Yeah, and you survived it.

[1918] You're on the other side of it.

[1919] You lived.

[1920] Yeah, and there's something really lovely about that, for me at least, because embarrassment is so hard for me, because I just want to avoid it.

[1921] Yeah.

[1922] I guess everyone is embarrassed.

[1923] It's just what really penetrates.

[1924] Yeah.

[1925] It's like I fell down one time in front of Monica.

[1926] And a movie theater full of people.

[1927] It was not just a fall.

[1928] It was a cartoon.

[1929] The popcorn flew.

[1930] Yeah, but you like falling.

[1931] Well, here's what happened.

[1932] This was, I don't even know what happened.

[1933] Me either.

[1934] I guess I trip going up steps and I literally threw everything in the air.

[1935] There's like a 60 ounce Coke in the air.

[1936] There's a fucking exercise popcorn up in the air.

[1937] It's like raining down popcorn.

[1938] I land hard on my tailbone.

[1939] Like I might be injured.

[1940] And my just first reaction is uncontrollable laughing.

[1941] Like, oh my God, look at this scene.

[1942] I just created like that's kind of my response but my first response when you fell was not to laugh it was like panic not embarrassed but just are you okay I don't find those things enjoyable even when it's other people like you know people who love those fail YouTube videos I do not enjoy that I find that to be very strange when people want to watch well people like to act out their fears That's why we like horror movies.

[1943] They like to act out their fears.

[1944] Or they like to see their fears played out in front of them.

[1945] And they don't have to experience it, but they get the relief.

[1946] I think it's in relief of it not being you.

[1947] That fail thing is a mirror neuron thing, right?

[1948] So you're actually experiencing the feeling without having to have done it.

[1949] But then why do people like it?

[1950] You'd think you wouldn't like it.

[1951] Like I don't like it because I am feeling like.

[1952] Is there something that you do like that people?

[1953] Well, you like horror movies.

[1954] You scream in them and you're scared.

[1955] Yeah, I'm scared.

[1956] And you love it.

[1957] Yeah, but that's not somebody getting hurt.

[1958] Well, I guess it is being killed.

[1959] Yeah, Liz.

[1960] So I'll talk about Liz right now.

[1961] Liz is a character from one of the datelines we watched, and she got convinced that Liz was with us somehow.

[1962] It was just outside the window.

[1963] You guys, I don't get any of that stuff.

[1964] I'm like, keep it away from me. By the way, actually, I have to go to a screening, so I do have to 10 minutes.

[1965] We're done.

[1966] I'm landing in the plane right now.

[1967] I didn't want to get rejected, so I just had to tell you I have to go.

[1968] Oh, great, great.

[1969] I'm not kidding you.

[1970] At the minute before my therapy session ends, I don't like when they go like, and that's our time.

[1971] And I know that we're done here.

[1972] So I'll just wrap it up as a, you know, sobbing.

[1973] They all head out.

[1974] Yeah, you don't want to be abandoned.

[1975] No, so I'm leaving.

[1976] So I'm leaving.

[1977] Yeah, I'm the one walking out, Dags.

[1978] Yeah, I have the same thing.

[1979] No, sorry about that.

[1980] That's embarrassing.

[1981] The therapist thing.

[1982] Okay, here's the point.

[1983] I show the races every Sunday at my house.

[1984] I'm going to be there.

[1985] You're invited.

[1986] I am so excited.

[1987] And bring that flame and redhead.

[1988] I didn't even know he liked F1.

[1989] Okay, and I'm bringing boyfriend, flaming red, and flaming red girlfriend.

[1990] I would love it.

[1991] It's a party on Sundays.

[1992] I order breakfast.

[1993] It's a whole thing.

[1994] That sounds very fun.

[1995] You're invited.

[1996] You made the cut.

[1997] I don't think you care, but you've made the cut.

[1998] You're invited to Formula One.

[1999] It's so exciting.

[2000] I'm not even invited.

[2001] Yes, you are.

[2002] I invited you a thousand times and you don't come and watch the race.

[2003] You like Formula One, but you don't like the race.

[2004] I like it.

[2005] Is it too long for you?

[2006] Sometimes.

[2007] Sometimes.

[2008] I like coming in and out.

[2009] If Danny's doing good, I like watching.

[2010] If I come, can you fix my belly button?

[2011] Oh, shit.

[2012] Yeah, you guys got to get on that.

[2013] Yep, yep, yep, yep.

[2014] Can you clean up my belly button?

[2015] I'll show you the video first, you know, I'm qualified.

[2016] And then, yeah, I'll get that fucker out of there.

[2017] Traumatize me with hydrogen peroxide.

[2018] I'm doing hydrogen peroxide now.

[2019] Seems to be working wonders from what Monica's feedback of the situation was.

[2020] Okay, everyone, I'm telling you now to watch not okay.

[2021] On Hulu.

[2022] It looks great.

[2023] It truly does.

[2024] Yeah, it is.

[2025] Zoe Francis Chaya Thompson, Deutsch.

[2026] It's been an absolute pleasure.

[2027] Much love to your sister.

[2028] And everyone watched Not Okay on Hulu now.

[2029] I hope you come back.

[2030] I would love to.

[2031] You guys are the best.

[2032] Thanks for letting me pee in front of you.

[2033] Thanks for doing it.

[2034] We loved it.

[2035] You're in a very...

[2036] It's a leag root.

[2037] A rarefied air.

[2038] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[2039] Are you recording?

[2040] Yes.

[2041] Oh, wonderful.

[2042] Did you just wake up?

[2043] I woke up at 8.

[2044] Oh, and what have you done since then?

[2045] I made my tea.

[2046] Okay, macha.

[2047] No, Ingi Brecki.

[2048] Oh, that's weird because the inside of the cup looks green.

[2049] The cup is, the cup is green and red.

[2050] It's my Christmas cup.

[2051] Oh, but the inside in particular, like imagine you're just looking at the ridge of the inside.

[2052] It looks like it's smattered in macha.

[2053] You're right.

[2054] It does look like that.

[2055] Well, that's okay.

[2056] I can move on.

[2057] No, we can.

[2058] Let's keep talking about it.

[2059] So I made my tea.

[2060] I brush my tea.

[2061] Brush your tea.

[2062] Made my teeth.

[2063] Brush my tea.

[2064] Put some oil in my hair.

[2065] Mm. Argon oil.

[2066] What kind of oil do you slather in your hair?

[2067] It's from true botanicals.

[2068] It was a recommendation from Jenny Cho.

[2069] are gray we trust her love her trust very trusted hairstylist very trusted brand i went puty oh wonderful me too how's yours good you know i'm i haven't been up that long myself okay tell me about your routine let's just be honest so i woke up at like 815 i have to walk around like a church mouse in the bus so other people don't wake up sure you wake up earlier than everyone yep and then i normally go out doors, out of doors, so that I can journal and then write some prose in my prose journal.

[2070] But there was a real dramatic storm last night, enough that the automatic awnings had to come in.

[2071] And so everything was wet.

[2072] So I knew all the chairs outside would be wet.

[2073] So then I posted up at the dinette.

[2074] Oh, my.

[2075] Yeah.

[2076] And Dee Money got up pretty early, and she was in a particularly cuddly state.

[2077] Oh, stay.

[2078] Yeah.

[2079] Oh, she's so sweet.

[2080] You know, she falls in love with someone everywhere we go.

[2081] So on this trip, it's ex's sister, Steph.

[2082] Oh.

[2083] Now, this girl will sleep, right?

[2084] Delta's, she'll sleep in the latest.

[2085] But she was up in Adam because her and Steph yesterday had spoken about going down to the river and listening to the river noises together.

[2086] Oh, my gosh, beautiful.

[2087] And I think she thought maybe Steph would be over here very early.

[2088] So she came on.

[2089] She's already brushing her hair and preparing to meet Steph to go down and listen to the river noises.

[2090] She went up to the house very expectantly.

[2091] Of course, Steph's not home.

[2092] She has three kids, or she's not at the house.

[2093] And I was mixed between breaking that to her before she got up to the house.

[2094] But I know it's best to just stay out of her way.

[2095] So then she came back down, and then she went down and listened to the river by herself.

[2096] And I said, did you like the noises?

[2097] And she said, yeah, they're very relaxing.

[2098] and there's nobody else making noise so I could hear them.

[2099] So great distractions.

[2100] It was hard to get my journal done because there was all this interesting drama happening.

[2101] Cuteness.

[2102] A story.

[2103] There was a story happening.

[2104] Oh, man. That story is not good for my hormones.

[2105] It's not in what way?

[2106] Well, okay.

[2107] Tell me your knee -jerk reaction to it, why you're sad.

[2108] No, I just love her so much.

[2109] Yes.

[2110] She's so special.

[2111] Yeah, it like hurts.

[2112] Me too.

[2113] Me too.

[2114] I'm even with her and it hurts.

[2115] Yeah, you get to be with her, though.

[2116] I know, but you would think that would help, but there's some level of just preciousness that, I don't know.

[2117] If you could hang on to it to adulthood, I can't imagine.

[2118] So there's this weird, maybe eerie feeling of, I don't know what it is, but it's so precious.

[2119] and I treasure it.

[2120] Yeah.

[2121] And it makes me happy and sad.

[2122] Yeah.

[2123] You're kind of about to cry, I can see.

[2124] Well, now in fact I see there is some moisture in your eyes.

[2125] Oh, these hormones, they're hormoning you.

[2126] Yeah.

[2127] Hormones are not harmonious.

[2128] No, they're not.

[2129] Oh, are you thinking that you're not going to have a Delta?

[2130] I don't know.

[2131] Yeah, I think you're going to have a Delta with a cuter Indian version.

[2132] Okay, go on.

[2133] Okay, well, but these hormones, oh, buddy.

[2134] Oh, you have fun pajamas on.

[2135] You look like Delta right now, actually.

[2136] You have the same innocence and preciousness right now.

[2137] And you have the same face.

[2138] Lots of squeasy parts.

[2139] You take a real pinch off those cheeks.

[2140] I know.

[2141] I watched a sad movie yesterday.

[2142] Oh, that was a bad idea.

[2143] Well, it was for research because we're interviewing someone today, Andrew Solomon.

[2144] He's like a really big advocate in the LGBTQ community, but he's like written lots of books and is just, you know, like an intellectual.

[2145] He was recommended by Dov Fox.

[2146] And anyway, he wrote this book called Far From the Tree.

[2147] And then there's a documentary also.

[2148] And so I was like, oh, I should watch that doc.

[2149] And oh my God, I really want you to watch it.

[2150] It's like, it's so good.

[2151] And it's like from 2017.

[2152] Even though we don't like old docs, it's still good.

[2153] Right.

[2154] We're real snobby about that published date when we're going through our different streamers and we're seeing 2018.

[2155] And then, you know, what do I always say?

[2156] You say, yuck.

[2157] Nope.

[2158] I say, well, if it were great, we would have heard about it in five years.

[2159] People would have murmured about it.

[2160] I know.

[2161] I have a very strict evaluation.

[2162] It's unforgiving and it's not fair.

[2163] Well, maybe this will turn it on its head.

[2164] Okay, good, good.

[2165] Okay, far from the tree.

[2166] Yeah, and he's gay and his parents were really against it.

[2167] And so he kind of like starts by saying, like, it kind of went on this quest for forgiveness for my parents.

[2168] And like in doing that, he looked at all these families where essentially, you know, the kid is different from the parents.

[2169] Uh -huh.

[2170] So there's a Down syndrome boy.

[2171] I, there's a kid with autism who doesn't speak.

[2172] Okay.

[2173] And then there's some little people, oh, gosh.

[2174] Of big parents.

[2175] Yeah.

[2176] Okay.

[2177] That's a great idea for a doc.

[2178] Oh, my God.

[2179] It's really incredible.

[2180] The last one is this kid who killed another kid.

[2181] And so he's in jail.

[2182] And his parents had not killed other people.

[2183] No. Okay.

[2184] Okay.

[2185] Not to make light of it, but also to make light of it.

[2186] make light of it.

[2187] Yeah, that's right.

[2188] They weren't criminals.

[2189] They weren't convicted killers.

[2190] Okay.

[2191] Wow.

[2192] Yeah, that's the, um, you know, as a parent, I suppose that's the very worst outcome.

[2193] Well, but that's the big question that comes up.

[2194] Oh, you mean the killing?

[2195] Yes, yes.

[2196] Yes, it's not having a little person.

[2197] Right.

[2198] But that's what comes up in this comment.

[2199] Like, that's what we're going to definitely talk to him about.

[2200] Like when we had Huberman on, he was really like in awe of this whole process and like, embryology is like it's like so it's such a miracle and being able to scream you know that's like a huge part being able to oh screen I thought you said scream I was like oh instead of cry let out a primal scream but um but what happened screen screen oh yeah the ability to screen yeah I don't know that I love it what's your take on that well that's okay Hey, that's exact.

[2201] So I, before this doc, was kind of like, duh, of course.

[2202] Like, I'm definitely, I would definitely.

[2203] Like, I feel like I'm not someone who could handle it.

[2204] Mm -hmm.

[2205] Oh, the added stress of like a high needs child.

[2206] Yes, mixed with the parenting for life element.

[2207] Oh, right.

[2208] Yeah, yeah.

[2209] I think a real hiccup that is, I mean, and this sounds so condescending when I say stuff like this, but I don't know that it's possible before you have a. kid to imagine how you'll feel once you have a kid and how much you wouldn't care about that.

[2210] Like, yes, pre -kids, like, I'm now, my life's over as I know it.

[2211] But now that I have two kids, like, if they want to do this for the rest of my life, like, I'm in, you know, I want them to grow up because that's the healthy thing to do.

[2212] And I want them to have their own lives because that's healthy.

[2213] But selfishly, I don't want that.

[2214] I want them to live in my house forever and be at my breakfast table every morning.

[2215] Yeah.

[2216] Forever.

[2217] And you would want that, too.

[2218] Yeah.

[2219] I would guess.

[2220] I'm sure I would.

[2221] But there's all this fear.

[2222] You know, there's a lot of fear that comes.

[2223] You already have an extreme level of fear when you're parenting.

[2224] And then I think that adds.

[2225] Yeah, they're vulnerable.

[2226] Certain kids could be vulnerable.

[2227] Well, did you hear, I'm sure, as Eric told you his story about going to the funeral of a friend's child.

[2228] Yes.

[2229] And, you know, every once in.

[2230] in a while I have to glassman bop, Eric.

[2231] Uh -huh.

[2232] So he was sharing about it.

[2233] He wouldn't care that I'm saying this.

[2234] And he was saying, you know, he goes to his funeral and this kid was quite physically disabled.

[2235] He was in a wheelchair's whole life.

[2236] And the dad, who he's friends with, took this little boy around the world and carted his wheelchair up to the top of pyramids and stuff.

[2237] You know, and from Eric's point of view, he was saying he just can't imagine being that selfless.

[2238] and he's in awe of how happy the guy seemed.

[2239] And I was like, yeah, Eric, are you getting the fucking theme of the story?

[2240] Which is like being of service equals happiness.

[2241] Like what seems like a pain in the ass is what equals total happiness.

[2242] This guy didn't resent it for a moment.

[2243] We're so selfish and yet bliss is like selflessness.

[2244] I don't know.

[2245] It's a real paradox to Sam.

[2246] Yeah.

[2247] No, you're right.

[2248] You're right.

[2249] I mean, I think with that story from.

[2250] me that boy was 18 and he died yeah excruciating heartbreak exactly that's the thing it's like oh my god well and when how about the anxiety of if you die well that comes up in the stock who now takes care of the love of your life that's yeah that's oh god i can make me cry i'm not even harmonious maybe you got some maybe i transfer i think i well we're very mirror norani we're very emotional contagion.

[2251] We have all these like realities or truths we know in the back of our mind that we aren't on the forefront, but they're affecting so much of the forefront.

[2252] A, our own mortality.

[2253] Like that's like steering so many things that we're, I don't think we're conscious of.

[2254] The fact that your parents are going to die before you do, you know, is burbling back there.

[2255] Someone that's like, you know the reality.

[2256] You know, everything dies.

[2257] That's a weird reality.

[2258] Yeah, I hate that.

[2259] And you just kind of ignore the whole.

[2260] thing, but then I think it percolates up in different areas that feel like it's one thing.

[2261] It's like, no, it's just kind of the overall dread of reality.

[2262] Yeah, that's true.

[2263] Anyway, so I watched that sad movie and happy.

[2264] It was sad and happy.

[2265] Oh, good.

[2266] I watch a fucking crazy great documentary over the last two nights.

[2267] It's a two -parter.

[2268] You remember that great sports series called Untold?

[2269] Yes.

[2270] Well, at least there's two new episodes.

[2271] I don't know if there's more, but this, you're going to hate, I mean, you're going to be, I'm livid.

[2272] I'm livid.

[2273] What?

[2274] There is this football player, Manti Rayo, I think is his name, Manti.

[2275] And he's from Hawaii.

[2276] He is Mormon.

[2277] He was the perfect child.

[2278] Parents kept saying how obedient he was.

[2279] He's the perfect athlete.

[2280] He talks about this Trinity of Faith, family.

[2281] and football, how they really all share, like, a same thing, which is, like, discipline, loyalty, obedience, whatever.

[2282] Yeah.

[2283] Sweet, sweet boy.

[2284] And he goes away to Notre Dame, which is its own story because he didn't want to go there, but he is doing the right thing, goes there.

[2285] He's really great there.

[2286] He meets a girl online.

[2287] He falls in love with this girl.

[2288] He's in, you know, South Bend, Inde.

[2289] She's in California.

[2290] She's also Polynesian.

[2291] And he's Mormon, right?

[2292] So he's not trying to fuck.

[2293] So this is almost like a perfect relationship for him.

[2294] Yeah.

[2295] And this goes on for a long, long time.

[2296] And going into his senior year, another crazy thing, he decides not to go to the NFL, which he could have.

[2297] He's like, you know, he's this kind of guy.

[2298] He's like, I'm going to do my whole commitment there.

[2299] Wow.

[2300] He couldn't be a nicer guy.

[2301] His grandmother dies on the same day that his girlfriend dies.

[2302] and so he's devastated and he decides oh my god he decides his senior year is going to be about entirely about honoring these two people and he says so and he has an outrageous senior year he's like so good he's a defensive tackle or defensive man i forget the name of it and um his story becomes enormous like anderson cooper's talking about there's a woman on the senate floor talking about man tie it's really inspirational this is 2012.

[2303] Okay.

[2304] He's so good that year that he becomes one of the three finalists to win the Heisman Trophy.

[2305] And he's still in contact with the girlfriend's cousins, a brother, a sister, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[2306] He gets a call a week before the Heisman.

[2307] He's talking to what he believes is the sister of his dead girlfriend.

[2308] In the middle of talking to her, she says it's me. Wait, what?

[2309] It's me. I didn't die.

[2310] And he's like, what, what are you talking about?

[2311] He talked to her on the phone a million times.

[2312] He has all these voice messages from her.

[2313] And now he's like, I don't know what kind of game you're playing with me. And he gets kind of really freaked out.

[2314] So he goes to the Heisman and he doesn't know what to do because he's been telling people for a year as girlfriend's dead.

[2315] He just found out on the phone that maybe she's alive.

[2316] He is on stage and they're asking him about it again.

[2317] And he's like, I don't know.

[2318] Is this the moment I would say, I think she might be.

[2319] alive.

[2320] I don't really know what's going on.

[2321] Simultaneously to this, some people that, I don't know, one of these websites, they get a tip.

[2322] There never was a girlfriend.

[2323] They start investigating this woman that she doesn't exist.

[2324] What it all turns out to be, and in the doc, you're hearing from the woman who did all this, who was then a guy.

[2325] So she transitioned.

[2326] It was before catfishing was a thing, and it was a guy, and the guy was in love with Mantei, and perpetuated this entire thing.

[2327] This isn't even the worst part.

[2328] Oh, my God.

[2329] So he goes from the most loved college athlete alive, and he fucking deserves it.

[2330] He's such an amazing player.

[2331] He's such a good boy.

[2332] And then it flips.

[2333] He never had a girlfriend.

[2334] There is no dead girlfriend.

[2335] Hoax, hoax, hoax, hoax, hoax.

[2336] Everyone's saying, oh, this was a whole ruse.

[2337] He's gay.

[2338] Like, tons of gay.

[2339] shaming, memes, people making jokes.

[2340] He was a first round draft pick, for sure, doesn't get drafted in the first round.

[2341] Goes in the second round, goes to San Diego.

[2342] When he gets there, there's a cartoon in the paper of him walking down the beach with his arm around nothing saying, we're going to love San Diego.

[2343] He becomes a laughing stock of the country.

[2344] Talk show host making jokes about him.

[2345] Everyone teasing him.

[2346] The next three years, he completely losing.

[2347] loses his way as an athlete.

[2348] He's like, I'm numb.

[2349] He goes, I walk out on the field in San Diego, and my whole body's numb, and I can't connect with the thing.

[2350] I can't do the thing I could do in college.

[2351] Everyone's laughing at me. This fucking kid got his entire life ruined doing nothing wrong.

[2352] Like being in love with a girl, not being pervy, not saying send me naked pics.

[2353] Like, me, I couldn't have a girlfriend online for more than a week.

[2354] If she didn't send me nudie picks, I would have been out.

[2355] I'm a piece of shit.

[2356] This guy's reward for being a good dude is the whole country starts teasing him.

[2357] Oh, my God, Monica, I've never been so angry at everything in the world.

[2358] Oh, my God.

[2359] Then when watching this.

[2360] And that was his life.

[2361] Like, he had an okay career in the NFL, not great.

[2362] He should have had an incredible career in the NFL.

[2363] It really was impossible for him to not be self -conscious.

[2364] He even goes, he goes to the Combine, you know, they test you before you enter the draft at the height of it media everywhere everywhere he leaves he walks into the the dining room where all the players are eating he walks in they were all talking everyone's having a good time he enters and it goes dead quiet and he just stays dead quiet and he sits by himself i mean it no no no i mean i'm impressed he survived that he's so inspirational of course i'm like i want to interview this guy he's so special and deserved I don't know, just for someone to say, like, God, did you get fucked?

[2365] Like, this is so unjust, it's crazy.

[2366] Great doc, great doc.

[2367] I recommend it.

[2368] Also, really good for the untold guys, which I'm pretty sure are the wild, wild country peeps.

[2369] Yeah.

[2370] For doing that and for, like, showing the side of that story.

[2371] Ew, I hate everyone.

[2372] I do, too.

[2373] And, you know, it's like, God, I got both things in my head working at the same time.

[2374] It's like, I get it.

[2375] Like, everyone wants to have a laugh and some things are sitting right there.

[2376] And, you know, why not have a laugh?

[2377] Not at someone's expense.

[2378] No. Well, what it really forced me to recognize, if you know anyone's full story, like, this is why no one was a monster.

[2379] Like, the people that were, they were hearing, like, snippets of it.

[2380] And maybe they thought he did fucking lie and say my girlfriend died for a year.

[2381] That's gross.

[2382] So they're getting snippets and then they're just, you know, then having fun.

[2383] with it, as you would do.

[2384] So it's like, part of it's not anyone's fault.

[2385] It's just, if you knew the whole story, no one's so monstrous, they would have perpetuated that whole thing.

[2386] It really made me mad.

[2387] This will make me sound like Trump, but it made me mad at the media because it's like the guys who broke this story, their whole thing where they say like, you know, our mission is to prove that these other big media outlets didn't check their facts.

[2388] And it's like, okay, they are pointing out like sometimes articles said they had been together this long, sometimes that long, maybe she died this day.

[2389] like they were exposing these and it's like okay it's not like that's the most noble cause who gives a fuck of sports outlets are getting the you know some of these details wrong and then the machine that just clicks into high gear and it's not news it's not holding the powers that be accountable it's not the fourth estate it's just trashy entertainment yeah so much of the media is fucking trashy entertainment and then this poor girl this poor girl whose pictures had been used to build this fake profile.

[2390] Well, her name comes out in it.

[2391] So now's this woman who's done nothing other than had a social media account.

[2392] Now she's walking out of her job and there's hundreds of, quote, media people swarming her.

[2393] It's like, nobody has a barometer here.

[2394] Oh, my God.

[2395] In the doctor, they talk to the trans woman?

[2396] Yes.

[2397] And it's very, again, like from what you've heard of this story, you probably be inclined to hate that person because that person ultimately did cause all this.

[2398] But you see her story and you're like, poor girl.

[2399] You know, she's lonely and she actually gets to be in love.

[2400] You know, it's all sad.

[2401] And of course, Mantai's got like the most forgiving, beautiful attitude about her.

[2402] Oh, my God.

[2403] I know.

[2404] I know.

[2405] Okay.

[2406] Now I'm going to shift gears to much more trivial stuff.

[2407] Okay.

[2408] Okay.

[2409] Okay.

[2410] Well, one is a news bulletin.

[2411] Oh.

[2412] One's a house cleaning news bulletin.

[2413] Okay.

[2414] And I say this with love, compassion, and empathy.

[2415] I get many, many messages from people asking for me to help them with sobriety.

[2416] I would love to have that availability for a million people.

[2417] I would never, ever want to turn down someone.

[2418] But if you're listening, you don't need me. You just need to walk into an AA meeting.

[2419] Like, you literally just need to walk into one.

[2420] You don't have to talk.

[2421] You don't have to do anything.

[2422] Walk into one.

[2423] And there's a million mes sitting there that are dying to help you.

[2424] Yeah.

[2425] So I just want people to know, like, I'm in every town if you think you need help from me. Just go into a meeting is what I would urge everyone to do.

[2426] My advice is just go to a meeting and everyone there knows how to help you back.

[2427] So I just wanted to say that.

[2428] That's really sweet.

[2429] I'm glad you said that.

[2430] And that's a really good job of you and your ego.

[2431] In what way that I'm not like uniquely skilled at helping someone?

[2432] Yeah.

[2433] Oh, yeah, I'm not.

[2434] I'm not.

[2435] In fact, if we rank the people I knew in AA, I would be mid -level at best as far as helping.

[2436] I don't know that that's.

[2437] No, I mean, there's just some extraordinary places made up with some pretty extraordinary, helpful, generous people.

[2438] Well, my house cleaning is also compassionate.

[2439] driven.

[2440] We had a episode of Armchair Anonymous.

[2441] So this is like a few weeks ago on stealing.

[2442] And we got a lot of comments that I didn't love.

[2443] Okay.

[2444] And they were singling one of our stories out and one of the people out and they were criticizing her.

[2445] What story?

[2446] The antiquity.

[2447] They were calling her privileged.

[2448] Oh, sure, sure.

[2449] And a lot.

[2450] And it was in my opinion really unacceptable.

[2451] Like, it's not acceptable on our platform to do that.

[2452] Actually, the purpose of Armchair Anonymous is a safe place so that people can come and, like, share a thing that they...

[2453] Own their mistakes.

[2454] She wasn't claiming it as a victory story.

[2455] Exactly.

[2456] Own your mistakes and be vulnerable and honest.

[2457] And if you tear someone down for that, all you're reiterating is that they're bad and shameful and that they should keep secrets.

[2458] And it's literally the opposite of what we're trying to do.

[2459] So please think twice before you comment.

[2460] Did you block those people?

[2461] Honestly, I was like, should we just turn comments off?

[2462] Should we delete them?

[2463] And I don't want to do that because I want our community to build and I want people who are excited.

[2464] Engaged.

[2465] Yeah.

[2466] And who can relate.

[2467] I want them to be able to comment, but I really, I will turn them off if it starts getting negative because people - Well, I like just blocking people who are in the shame trait.

[2468] I'm so quick on the block.

[2469] If you're ever commenting on me to shame me, I don't ever really need to read anything from you again.

[2470] Yeah.

[2471] Like I post pictures from the vacation.

[2472] One of them is at Mount Rushmore.

[2473] And yeah, I get a couple of bozos who now this is their stage to virtue signal to every nice picture with the white supremacist it's like i can't imagine you've done a single thing to help the world other than fucking swing shade on the goddamn internet yes bye bye yeah yeah if like that's your instinct is see a little back of a little girl pulling a barbie car and this is your opportunity to virtue signal about the white supremacists also none of them black yes very frustrating but yeah anyway i just want to put that out there.

[2474] Like, we see it and I'm monitoring it and I will do something about it if things progress that way because that's just not what we're doing here.

[2475] It's just not what we're doing here.

[2476] Yeah.

[2477] If you got a judgment you want to to levy against somebody, tell your friend that listens.

[2478] Why you guys go gossip about it at coffee?

[2479] But if you want to shame someone who's participated in the show on our public platform, then write the best one because that'll be the last one we reached.

[2480] Yeah.

[2481] Okay, so you're a motorhome.

[2482] Yeah, so I think I was honest, which was hard for me to do.

[2483] I don't know if you know how hard it was for me to admit that I had damaged the motor home because I have this identity as I'm a flawless driver.

[2484] So that was hard.

[2485] I'm proud of you.

[2486] I'm proud of you.

[2487] That's a big deal.

[2488] I didn't shrivel up and die afterwards, which was shocking.

[2489] Good.

[2490] You know what happened is like people barely remember.

[2491] Like, I don't even think they heard, they listened to that part.

[2492] And now I'm about to give them an update on something that meant nothing to them to begin with, so yeah.

[2493] Well, I'm just, I don't mean that.

[2494] I don't mean it's not important.

[2495] I'm just saying the weight you carry versus like, like, I couldn't agree more.

[2496] That part of the story, but what I definitely didn't hear is you messed up the motorhome.

[2497] Right.

[2498] Well, I definitely, yeah.

[2499] So, you know, it has these huge cargo doors underneath the bus.

[2500] They're huge.

[2501] I don't know what they are.

[2502] They're, you know, they're like size of a huge flat screen TV.

[2503] Well, I bent who.

[2504] I bent three of them.

[2505] Two of them really quite bad, where I couldn't open them.

[2506] Nobody else can drive this.

[2507] Well, well, yeah, my defense is, man, I was in someone's backyard in the middle of the night with trees everywhere.

[2508] It's shocking I didn't do more damage, to be honest.

[2509] I still got to pull it out of here.

[2510] That's like kind of hovering above me. It's like, wow, will I be able to get out now without further damage?

[2511] At any right, and this is, talk about a Sisyphian?

[2512] I think that's what I say.

[2513] Okay, the guy who carries a boulder up the hill over and over again and it rolls down every day.

[2514] Weirdly, I was watching something else in the, some famous philosopher said, Sisyphus actually knew the secret to life.

[2515] He seems like a fable of pointlessness and all that, but that in his work every day he had purpose and finished each day proud.

[2516] And that it's not a tale.

[2517] I don't know who said it, but I was like, oh, that's a great take on Sisyphus.

[2518] I like, it's not result.

[2519] It's oriented.

[2520] It's process oriented.

[2521] Do your work.

[2522] Go to bed.

[2523] He goes to bed every night.

[2524] The rocks on top of the hill, right?

[2525] I guess.

[2526] I don't know the fable all that well, but.

[2527] Oh, I thought he.

[2528] He doesn't roll down in front of them, does it?

[2529] Or maybe it does.

[2530] I thought it was like always falling on him.

[2531] I thought he rolls it to the top of the hill and then he, it doesn't matter.

[2532] Okay.

[2533] We'll look it up.

[2534] The point is, I definitely rolled the rock up the hill yesterday, which is like, I take these doors off, which is a whole fiasco.

[2535] I've got to, like, cut a bunch of a lot.

[2536] electrical cords that I then later have to splice back together.

[2537] And then my attempt is I'm going to try to hammer out the damage.

[2538] It's aluminum, not easy to do that.

[2539] I take them off.

[2540] I start trying to re -bend it all to make it look.

[2541] And here's the point.

[2542] I'm going to have to have a fix.

[2543] What I did yesterday is not an acceptable cure for the damage.

[2544] But I did reshape the doors enough.

[2545] And then I painted the bottom third because the scratch.

[2546] are so bad.

[2547] The real goal of it was so that I can't see it at like 20 feet away so that for the rest of the trip, I'm not seeing it 10 times a day and getting angry.

[2548] I think that's totally fine.

[2549] Did you feel good after?

[2550] Back to Sisyphus, you know, it was like six hours of my day and I was in total flow.

[2551] I loved doing mechanical stuff.

[2552] I loved trying to figure out how am I going to make this look a little better.

[2553] It was just, it was my day.

[2554] And I got him on last night at like 930.

[2555] I respliced everything.

[2556] I shut them.

[2557] And by God, they look, they do look 90 % better.

[2558] Good.

[2559] If you're five feet away.

[2560] I'll send you some picks.

[2561] You won't care, but I'll send you some picks.

[2562] Send me. I also hit my head incredibly hard.

[2563] Oh, no. Yes, yes, yes.

[2564] I shut one of the doors and then I tested it to see if it would open with ease and it was stuck.

[2565] And then I gave it a good fucking jerk.

[2566] And I just, opened it straight into the side of my head on my temple.

[2567] Oh, my God.

[2568] Yeah, really rung my bell.

[2569] I've got some swelling today.

[2570] Be careful.

[2571] And also, also, I kind of, it's fine.

[2572] It's kind of like if you work out in the gym and the next day it hurts, you're like, well, I did something.

[2573] No. I mean, it's not the same.

[2574] But it is a physical reminder that I was, I got after it yesterday in some capacity.

[2575] Okay, I'm going to throw out one more thing.

[2576] I guess it's still in the public service realm.

[2577] just to service Aaron and I. So by the time you're listening to this, now Aaron and I'll be in the bus.

[2578] No more kids.

[2579] I've got two things I'm a little stressed about.

[2580] We have a very important interview, very important, and I need bulletproof internet, right?

[2581] But I'm on the road.

[2582] So I'm already starting to think like, how the fuck am I going to ensure that we are somewhere where I have bulletproof internet for that interview?

[2583] Also, I really want to do some trail riding with Aaron.

[2584] We've got motorcycles.

[2585] I had a lot of fun trail riding here in North Dakota.

[2586] I remembered how much I enjoyed trail riding.

[2587] Also, the bus needs a 50m.

[2588] So here's what I'm saying.

[2589] If you live on some property and you have a 50 -amp plug and awesome internet and riding trails, and you live somewhere between Indianapolis and Los Angeles.

[2590] Wow.

[2591] Hit Aaron and I in the comments.

[2592] That's what I'm putting out into the universe.

[2593] Who knows?

[2594] Maybe someone's at home going like, holy fuck, I have all those things.

[2595] Who knows?

[2596] This is like Rob and the restaurant or me and the painting.

[2597] This could be great.

[2598] Yes.

[2599] Fonsu, Monceau.

[2600] What is it?

[2601] And Mansour.

[2602] And Mansour.

[2603] Do you see her painting?

[2604] Oh, gorgeous Monsour's.

[2605] Beautiful Monsour's.

[2606] Okay, well, that's great.

[2607] I have facts.

[2608] This is for Zoe Deutsch.

[2609] I loved Zoe Deutsch.

[2610] Me too.

[2611] She's my style icon.

[2612] Speaking of one of the facts, I did want to shout out because I did talk about her being my style icon a fair amount.

[2613] Her stylist's name is Elizabeth Stewart.

[2614] I follow her on.

[2615] Instagram.

[2616] Great.

[2617] I love her.

[2618] Do you think her girlfriend's call her Liz do?

[2619] Yeah.

[2620] Almost sounds like Lizzo.

[2621] Another service announcement, desperately want Lizzo.

[2622] Oh, I know.

[2623] I mean, I've tried.

[2624] I'll keep trying.

[2625] But yes, if you're out there and you're Lizzo's best friend.

[2626] Yeah.

[2627] I mean, we know you're not listening, Lizzo.

[2628] So, but if anyone in Lizzo's life can tell her, also, because now we're just begging, Kendrick Lamar, got to have Kendrick Lamar.

[2629] Okay.

[2630] Did Callie work on Set It Up?

[2631] Yes.

[2632] She did that whole campaign trailer and art. She did the shit out of it.

[2633] She did.

[2634] It was a huge hit.

[2635] So congrats to Callie.

[2636] Okay.

[2637] So I have some bad news.

[2638] I think Zoe's wrong about what a succubus is.

[2639] Oh, okay.

[2640] Well, that's a honest mistake.

[2641] Of course.

[2642] That's actually.

[2643] better because she thinks it's like spikes in her puss.

[2644] Oh, but as succubis, is that the guy who rolls the rock up the hill every day?

[2645] Succabus?

[2646] Well, really quick, though, in her defense, as I remember it, she just was telling us what people in high school called her.

[2647] Yeah, succubis.

[2648] And then we were like, what's that?

[2649] Oh, yeah.

[2650] But I don't know if she was telling us what they thought it meant.

[2651] But anyways, what does it mean?

[2652] Whatever.

[2653] A succubus is a demon or supernatural entity in folklore in female form that appears in dreams to seduce men usually through sexual activity.

[2654] It's a siren.

[2655] You did say, is it like a siren?

[2656] Pussy siren.

[2657] Well, no, it has nothing to do with that.

[2658] I guess that's the whole thing.

[2659] Okay.

[2660] Okay, according to religious traditions, repeated sexual activity with a succubus can cause poor physical or mental health, even death.

[2661] The succubus is also known as the earth wander.

[2662] She seeks her victims by disguising herself as a young, beautiful woman, seducing men.

[2663] Oh, that makes sense for her in high school, Zoe, young, beautiful woman.

[2664] I don't know about the seducing men part, but weirdly have compliment within there.

[2665] Yeah, but they were using it to bully, so it was bad.

[2666] And I guess they told her it was about spikes in her pussy.

[2667] Right.

[2668] But it's not.

[2669] It's not, so she can sleep.

[2670] Do you think people that have spikes in their vaginas when they're, they have PQs.

[2671] It hurts.

[2672] It's lethal.

[2673] I think it is dangerous, but that adds to the excitement.

[2674] Okay.

[2675] Yeah.

[2676] Yeah.

[2677] That makes sense.

[2678] That's like during my shots, I've had some blood.

[2679] Yeah.

[2680] At first I was scared, but now I find it kind of exciting.

[2681] Oh, can I just say that video of you guys at Amazon is the cutest thing I've ever witnessed?

[2682] Who shot that and edited it?

[2683] Liz.

[2684] Lizzo?

[2685] Lizzo.

[2686] She is the social.

[2687] Social Media Queen.

[2688] Like, really, she's so talented at it.

[2689] And it's really funny.

[2690] And this will come out in the show.

[2691] But, like, I, obviously, you know, everyone knows.

[2692] I'm not a social media queen.

[2693] I hardly participate.

[2694] I do the bare minimum of - You're the social media succubis.

[2695] Well, I don't think my social media has spikes or is deceiving men.

[2696] Well, just if she was the queen of social media, we had to give you a top.

[2697] And I feel like succubis is a nice one.

[2698] Fine.

[2699] I guess I'll be in Zoe's camp because it's a cool camp.

[2700] Anyway, I am so grateful that she has that knowledge, knows what to do, is getting this content.

[2701] Because we need it for when we promote the show and stuff.

[2702] And so it's a very good yin and yang.

[2703] Someone is really clever because how are you guys posting from you guys have a shared account now?

[2704] Yeah, you can collab.

[2705] Who knows how to do that?

[2706] She does.

[2707] She taught me. Oh, my God.

[2708] How do you collab?

[2709] I never seen a button on my thing that said collab.

[2710] Can I just add you to stuff and force you to collab?

[2711] Or you guys got to sign on at the exact same time?

[2712] What happened?

[2713] You can do it.

[2714] But it's on reels only.

[2715] Oh, okay.

[2716] Maybe we'll start doing more videos and we can start doing it.

[2717] Yeah, I would love that.

[2718] It's fun.

[2719] I want to collab.

[2720] I felt left out in like I'm old that I don't know how to collab.

[2721] Oh, I didn't know how.

[2722] Okay.

[2723] I'm only in a week I'll be geriatric pregnancy.

[2724] Speaking of which, August 24th, just knocking on the back door here.

[2725] It's this week.

[2726] Anywho, yeah, we had really fun at the Amazon store.

[2727] You had really fun at the Amazon store.

[2728] Anyways, we had really fun at the Amazon store.

[2729] Should I go to the Amazon store?

[2730] I definitely want to go there for a collab.

[2731] Okay, we can do that.

[2732] Okay, I DM'd Danny to ask, do F1 drivers really pee themselves?

[2733] Oh, great.

[2734] He hasn't responded yet, so this is a TBD.

[2735] Okay.

[2736] Okay, it is Caroline in the city, not Carolyn, Caroline.

[2737] Great.

[2738] She said she was maybe breastfeeding, like she was getting breastfed during that time.

[2739] On the set, yeah.

[2740] Yeah.

[2741] And that show ran from 95 to 99, and so he was born in 94, you know, so they probably shot it.

[2742] Sure.

[2743] Before it aired.

[2744] So she's probably right.

[2745] And also she could have been breastfed until she was one or two.

[2746] Or seven.

[2747] Maybe 10.

[2748] Maybe still.

[2749] Oh, I was going to play this clip for you that you like.

[2750] Oh, I love clips.

[2751] Oh, Mary Stewart -Masserson.

[2752] You break his heart, I'll break your face.

[2753] She wears drumming gloves everywhere.

[2754] Yeah, she had it in this.

[2755] That's a big swing.

[2756] I was confused because she looked like a valet.

[2757] Oh, yeah, of course.

[2758] She might have been.

[2759] I know because she opens the door for them.

[2760] Yeah, she might have been working at the spot they came to.

[2761] Yeah.

[2762] Okay.

[2763] Is Hashimoto serious?

[2764] It can be.

[2765] It can be because the hormones produced by the thyroid are so vital to the body's functions.

[2766] Untreated Hashimoto's can lead to serious and even life -threatening complications.

[2767] These include goiter, high cholesterol, heart disease, depression, and other mental health issues, birth defects and babies born to women with long -term untreated Hashimoto's, and mixedema, which is a rare and potentially fatal coma.

[2768] Oh my God.

[2769] Yeah.

[2770] We can still laugh at it or no?

[2771] Yeah, because you know there's side effects for everything.

[2772] Right.

[2773] It's just such a great name, Hashimoto's.

[2774] It reminds me of that baby who eats bok choy.

[2775] Yes, of course, it does.

[2776] Although that baby, we should be clear, does not, that we know of have Hashimoto's.

[2777] No, not yet.

[2778] Okay.

[2779] I have another big reveal.

[2780] Oh.

[2781] In my research, and I did a lot, and I'm going to get some flack for this, I know.

[2782] A lot of places, including trusted brands, say antiperspirants actually fine.

[2783] Oh, I want that to be fine.

[2784] I'd love to start using it again.

[2785] Oh, don't use it.

[2786] Oh, okay.

[2787] But what if it's fine?

[2788] It says it's fine, but it's one of those things like my brain won't hear it, you know?

[2789] It does sound, if there is aluminum in antipersprint, that sounds bad.

[2790] There is, but it says, does that mean the dissolved aluminum salt will be absorbed and trapped in your body?

[2791] Research published by the National Center for Biotechnology.

[2792] Information suggests that frequent can cause aluminum to accumulate in breast tissue, but this doesn't prove that aluminum salts can cause breast cancer.

[2793] In fact, breast cancer tissue doesn't seem to contain more aluminum than normal breast tissue.

[2794] tissue.

[2795] Oh, this is tempting.

[2796] Kidney problems, you shouldn't do it, though.

[2797] Okay, I don't think I do.

[2798] I don't want to find out, so don't do it, okay?

[2799] Okay, I'm off of it.

[2800] I'm going to stay with just my deodorant.

[2801] That works plenty good.

[2802] It works real good.

[2803] You never smell bad.

[2804] Good.

[2805] That's all we care about.

[2806] All right.

[2807] I think those are all my facts for today.

[2808] Sucubis.

[2809] TBD.

[2810] Yeah, also, both.

[2811] Botox in the armpits often does temporarily block chemicals that signal it's time for your glands to produce sweat.

[2812] Oh, okay.

[2813] What do you think about bowtops?

[2814] I don't wrestle with this enough to explore that.

[2815] Don't do that.

[2816] I think sweating's like hot.

[2817] Yeah, yeah.

[2818] It's also, it's a great mechanism to cool you down.

[2819] You don't want to hamper that.

[2820] Yesterday I was sweating bullets doing all that weird stuff.

[2821] And you felt better.

[2822] because of it well i probably would overheat it and died oh my god scary right so so that was all the the fackies it was all for zoe all right a lot of good wrecks doc wrecks some slaps on the wrist to shamers a whole bunch of stuff crying cry a little bit crying to start things off ending on a smile look at that the whole gamut oh man i love you i love you bye Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2823] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2824] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.