#728 - Ceara Lynch

[0] Yehah, we're live.

[1] So, Sierra, if you, is, am I saying it right?

[2] Sierra, right?

[3] Sierra.

[4] Sierra.

[5] Close enough.

[6] It's like Shandra, Shandra, right?

[7] Yeah, exactly.

[8] If you have described your occupation to someone, how would you describe it?

[9] In one word, I would say humiliatrix.

[10] See, this is what, I learned about you from my friend Chris Ryan.

[11] Right.

[12] He told me, you got to get this girl on.

[13] You got to talk to her.

[14] And then I went to your Twitter page.

[15] and your Twitter page is filled with some hilarious stuff.

[16] Like, one of them is about you sending poop through the mail, and then it was like one of the only times the post office opened up your box.

[17] They tried to.

[18] I asked them not to, and they respected that.

[19] Why did they want to open up your box anyway?

[20] Well, I put it in a box of a very expensive camera that I had, and so when they asked me, like, what is this?

[21] I was like, oh, it's the camera.

[22] And so, like, well, how much was it?

[23] And it's like, well, I get $900.

[24] And so they're like, oh, well, we'll have to repackage this.

[25] And then she's, like, getting her, like, knife ready or razor ready to open it up.

[26] And I'm like, oh, no, it's fine.

[27] You can just leave it as is.

[28] And she's like, well, if it gets broken, it's your responsibility and all this.

[29] And I'm like, it's fine.

[30] It's okay.

[31] And there was more than just poo in there.

[32] There was, like, piss.

[33] There was toenail clippings.

[34] There was a vial of my spit.

[35] Like, this guy had a whole, like, value package from me. How the fuck did you get started in this business?

[36] You seem like a fairly normal person.

[37] Granted, I've only met you for a very short amount of time, but you seem completely normal.

[38] It's a really good story.

[39] I was 17 years old at the time, and I was traveling abroad.

[40] I was actually an exchange student in Japan, and I was really lonely.

[41] Like, I stayed with the host family, and I didn't know any Japanese, and I didn't know anyone that spoke English.

[42] And so I was online just all the time.

[43] Like, you know, on, I mean, this is kind of before.

[44] for MySpace or Facebook or anything like that, but I'd go to different, like, social networking sites and talk to people.

[45] And one day this guy starts talking to me, and he's a total pervert.

[46] He's, like, into getting peed on, and he really has a thing for, like, pantyhoes.

[47] And so he strikes up a conversation with me because he just thinks I'm very attractive and all this.

[48] And I was kind of, like, grossed out by him, but intrigued at the same time, you know?

[49] And so I was like, okay, you know, I'm talking to a guy online.

[50] can't do anything to me. So I kept the, you know, lines of communication open.

[51] And we'd talk here and there.

[52] And he always tried to convince me to meet him.

[53] You really wanted me to pee on him and stuff like that.

[54] And I was like, no, I'm not going to do that.

[55] I'm not going to do that.

[56] And I kept turning him down.

[57] And then one day he was like, all right, he's like, I get it.

[58] You're not going to meet me. But I just, I think your piss should be bottled and sold.

[59] And I was like, I was like, all right buy it then like i didn't think he was serious i was like i was like guys full of shit but i was like fine buy it and uh and he did he bought a 12 ounce like bottle just like this um of my urine for 250 dollars and after that did you specify the ounces that it had to be uh i don't think so no i think just a bottle is what we said just a bottle yeah right and um yeah from there i was like oh there has to be more guys like this like this guy found me on accident.

[60] Like, this was just a mistake.

[61] Like, what would happen if I went looking for guys like this?

[62] Like, if you promoted it?

[63] Yeah, or, like, kind of sought it out.

[64] And so I was like, okay, I've heard of, like, women selling their use panties before.

[65] I know that's a thing.

[66] And so I started searching to see if there was, like, a website that, like, I could be on or something that catered to that.

[67] And I did.

[68] I found this auction site that's just like eBay, but it specializes in, like, use panties or socks or panty hose or anything like a woman can wear, can auction on this site and so I was like oh this yeah this is it I'm doing this and I just started selling all sorts of stuff and I've sold anything you can imagine I've sold like my shit my piss tampons like hair from my hairbrush my bathroom trash what does like hair from your hairbrush how much can you sell that for um I've only sold it once I think I sold for like a hundred bucks versus like a good log well the thing about my shit is it's kind of an interesting story so when I first started a guy wanted to buy my shit and I was like yeah I just want to do this because I think it's a well I mean obviously the money but I think it's an interesting story and so this guy bought my shit for like a hundred dollars and after that I knew they're you know I'm like I'm just going to sell my panties and it's kind of gross I don't want to like always sell my shit um anyways fast forward to this year and meanwhile guys have always asked to buy my shit.

[69] I always gave them just the most large, absurd number, like, price wise.

[70] And they'd always be like, what the fuck?

[71] No. And it didn't matter to me because I was making money otherwise.

[72] But someone took me up on my offer recently for $4 ,000 to buy my shit.

[73] And he since bought it two other times this year.

[74] So I've made a grand total of $12 ,000 off my shit.

[75] Now, do you pay taxes on this?

[76] Should you be telling, should be saying this?

[77] I pay taxes, yeah.

[78] Okay.

[79] So what do you, what do you like list under occupations?

[80] I have a really good accountant that kind of takes care of all that.

[81] Shit slinger.

[82] Well, most of my money comes from, like, I make fetish videos and stuff like that.

[83] Right.

[84] So, like, video producer.

[85] This is just ice cream.

[86] Just whipped cream, rather.

[87] For lack of a better term, yeah.

[88] Cherry on top, whatever.

[89] So you started from this one guy, essentially.

[90] This one guy sort of fueled your imagination.

[91] Yeah, yeah.

[92] So I started selling tangible things, and then from there, figured out how to open up, um, like my own phone lines where I would get paid per minute, like, like a phone sex operator, but I wasn't like talking sexy to guys.

[93] I kept getting fetish guys that were really submissive and just wanted me to berate them and talk shit to them.

[94] And so, did you seek these guys out or did they, um, it just kind of was the path that I ended up taking because I, I just, I started out doing this fetishy thing.

[95] And so, um, so that's just kind of, was it because of like your attitude towards people that wanted to buy your shit and your panties?

[96] He's like, you fucking losers, here it is.

[97] Was it that?

[98] No, I think I, I think naturally guys that want to buy that sort of thing are, like, want that kind of treatment.

[99] So I would get guys wanting me to treat them that way.

[100] Just like, you know, I'm such a lowly loser and I want to be your pathetic little toilet mistress and sort of thing.

[101] Wow.

[102] Yeah.

[103] And then it was like, when I knew I could go about the sex industry in this way, I was like, oh, I want to do it.

[104] I want to do that because, I mean, I tell people what I do for.

[105] living I'm pretty open and honest about it and for the most part people think it's really cool like so and I think I don't think I would get the same response if I were a stripper or something like that which I don't think there's a thing wrong with being a stripper but a lot of people do and there's a lot of stigma associated with it so it's like I kind of found this weird loophole in the sex industry where right because it's so odd and because you seem to be in control yeah exactly that kind of makes sense yeah but this is a gig where do you have an exit strategy like do you look at the future and go I'll fucking shit in buckets forever I'm good I shit every day I sell my shit as long as I keep friends with these assholes we got 12 grand a year easy yeah well I mean I'll do it I always said I'll do it as long as it makes sense to do it which is kind of you know open ended right but I try and be smart with my money you know I I own a couple houses back in Portland and you know I paid for my education and that sort of thing so I just I try and save as much as possible because I don't think i'm going to be making as much money as i do now the rest of my life yeah well there's probably going to be a drop off when you hit like 60 six year old shit's not worth what 28 year old shit is that gilf shit there's something about gilf is just milf is still like hot but gilf is like maybe you should leave her alone so do you do you have like a thought process as far as like you're like okay what is my is that all you do you do?

[106] do?

[107] Do you have like another gig?

[108] No, that's up.

[109] This has been my only job for over 10 years now.

[110] Oh my god.

[111] Yeah.

[112] Whoa, it would be so hard for you to work like a regular job.

[113] I know.

[114] Especially to make, think about like how much you can make by shitting into a Tupperware container.

[115] Yeah.

[116] And I'll think about like how long you would have to work in an office to make four grand.

[117] Yeah, like two months.

[118] A month at least, right?

[119] Like a good office job is 50 grand a year, right?

[120] That's a good office job.

[121] Yeah, that's a good living.

[122] Yeah.

[123] That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a thousand bucks a week but you got to pay taxes right so the taxes chop it away so to actually get four grand yeah i think i think about that a lot because i'm i'm very spoiled and i realize that but that's a stripper issue too right it's always a stripper issue or like athlete issue yeah like anything we're like yeah you're making a lot of money a short amount of time yeah especially like athletes or you know like when it's over it's fucking over yeah there's no you know it's like these alan iverson characters that make hundreds of millions of dollars and just eat through all of it and just never plan on it ending or having some sort of a strategy to continue it.

[124] Yeah.

[125] So you're just going to just ride that bitch right into the rocks.

[126] Yeah, that's pretty much a plan.

[127] Keep the throttle pegged.

[128] I mean, it hasn't, like, gone down.

[129] Like, I continue to make more money every year.

[130] Well, you're still young and pretty.

[131] Yeah, exactly.

[132] How old are you now?

[133] I'm 29.

[134] Yeah, see, you've got a solid 10 years before it starts getting really weird.

[135] You know?

[136] Well, you're like 40 and you're still shitting into buckets.

[137] People get to be like, hey, you know, maybe you should not do that or, oh, who knows?

[138] Why not?

[139] Why not?

[140] If you're doing it now, if you're doing it now, if you, you enjoy doing it now?

[141] Yeah, it's great.

[142] It's, it's, um.

[143] Then why stop?

[144] Why am I talking about?

[145] Why don't I just shut the fuck up?

[146] Yeah, shut up.

[147] I'm just thinking about your demise.

[148] Like, why should concentrate on the terrible aspects of your job?

[149] it's hard not to but it's just so strange well it's strange but it's also like this is not normally like an interview that I would pursue but Chris kept insisting that you were like really intelligent and interesting and you're like he's like she's got a very unique take on it like it's not just that she's doing this but she's just like a normal person that well this is better than working as a waitress this is better oh it's great I mean I work for myself and And so, you know, I make my own hours and travel a lot.

[150] I'm actually traveling.

[151] I'm taking off to Southeast Asia after a few days in L .A. What are you doing in Asia?

[152] Shit on people?

[153] Do you have a guy there waiting?

[154] No. I'm just backpacking, just traveling.

[155] Oh, okay.

[156] So you're just doing that for non -work?

[157] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[158] Now, while you're there, do you work?

[159] Do you have, like, if you have an internet connection?

[160] What I do is because my bread and butter right now are my videos.

[161] I just shot a ton, like, kind of October and September and all that.

[162] I just shot a bunch.

[163] So I'm all set up through February with my videos, and they just automatically.

[164] Oh, so you banked them?

[165] Yeah, exactly.

[166] Okay.

[167] And so how often you release videos?

[168] Five days a week.

[169] And when you do them, do you do them specifically for individuals, or do you do them for the public?

[170] Like, what do you do?

[171] Kind of both.

[172] A lot of them are custom videos, so guys will, you know, send me their fantasy, and, you know, I'll charge them and make the video.

[173] And then I also release that to the public as well.

[174] So, like, what's a typical fantasy that a guy will call you up?

[175] Hi, my name is Doug.

[176] I'm a fucking loser.

[177] If you do me a favor, make a video about how you want to piss in my mouth.

[178] Like, how does that work?

[179] God, there are so many.

[180] I'll touch on a more recent one.

[181] I had this guy, he's bought for me pretty regularly.

[182] And all of his fantasies involve being in the dungeon and male chastity.

[183] Have you seen male chastity devices?

[184] No. I'm not sure if I want to.

[185] It's basically like a cock cage.

[186] Don't like those words together.

[187] Cock and cage.

[188] So you put your dick in this little cage and you put like a little padlock on it to lock them up.

[189] And then like, you know, the woman, the dominatrix or whatever will wear the key.

[190] And it's all about just kind of teasing this guy who can't touch himself or get hard really.

[191] Yeah, there we go.

[192] Okay.

[193] So what we're looking at for.

[194] people who are listening to this if you would describe it you would describe it as there's a couple different kinds yeah some metal ones some plastic ones some of um spikes inside do they to hurt the dick yeah they start swollen up so if they get aroused it's painful for them yeah do they take it off and they're bleeding and stuff um well i mean it depends if if the woman has the key to it she decides when to unlock it basically so you do do do only videos or do you do like one -on -ones with these guys?

[195] No, I don't meet anyone in person.

[196] It's all online.

[197] And all my videos I should specify are like point of view.

[198] So I'm talking to the camera.

[199] So the guy feels like I'm talking like to him.

[200] So like this video, I'm describing this guy, you know, he has this fetish for chastity.

[201] So I have one with these little devices and I'll unlock it and I'll show it to the camera and I'll kind of move my hand in pretending I'm putting it on them, you know, and then I lock them up and then I like tease them.

[202] Jamie, scroll up to the upper right hand corner, upper right above that right above that right above that what the fuck is that oh that looks like it goes in your ass yes this is a giant christmas tree looking thing that goes in your ass and it's connected to one of those cock holsters oh my god yeah it looks like it must strap you in there can't get it off yeah you've got this pole in your ass and then your dick is locked up in a cage wonderful what a great idea this is ridiculous yeah so this This one specific...

[203] Oh, that's so cool.

[204] I like that.

[205] You like that?

[206] I don't know.

[207] It's different.

[208] That looks like it's for a girl.

[209] Yeah, it looks like female, Chasty.

[210] And so this is, like, there's a whole fetish that goes along with this, right?

[211] Yeah.

[212] The woman being in control.

[213] Right.

[214] And kind of decides, like, when the man could be released.

[215] So how do you do that in a video, though, if the guy's nowhere near you?

[216] So, like I said, I'll be looking at the camera and I'm talking the camera, so I'm, you know, talking directly to the slave.

[217] And I'll take the little chastie vice and I'll kind of like go into the camera pretending I'm putting it on them.

[218] And then from there it's mostly just kind of like a tease show or like rub my boobs together and like talk all seductively.

[219] And so the viewer is watching it as though I'm like seducing them.

[220] The video I'm thinking of in particular is pretty morbid.

[221] So his fantasy is in this dungeon and I lock him up and I have this nurse outfit and I'm his nurse.

[222] And I talk about how I'm going to train him to be.

[223] to serve me orally but what I do so you can do this God what was it I had to at first remove all his teeth because I didn't want teeth on my pussy So you banged his teeth out Yeah or I'm just talking I'm talking about it You know So he wanted me to talk about You know taking all his teeth out He wanted this This is like his What he jerks off to I don't know if he'd probably not in real life No And he wanted a couple clamps in his ears To be steered You know And then he wanted wanted me to tell him that his vocal cords would be removed because I didn't want to hear him complaining.

[224] Whoa.

[225] This guy fucking hates himself.

[226] Well, it's funny because he was like, could you do it in a very, like, sweet sort of way?

[227] Like, he didn't want me to be, like, a real mean mistress.

[228] Like, he wanted me to be, like, the kind of juxtaposition of, like, oh, I'm really sweet, but I'm doing all these terrible things to you.

[229] Whoa.

[230] Yeah.

[231] Now, do you find that there's a stereotypical occupation or a type of guy who wants this sort of treatment?

[232] I think I see where you might be going with this.

[233] I get all sorts of guys.

[234] I think there's this kind of cliche that they're all these high -powered CEOs that want to be dominated.

[235] I don't think that's the case.

[236] I talk to all walks of life, like young, old, rich, poor, like, all sorts of guys.

[237] So it's just a fan.

[238] It's like a foot thing.

[239] Like just there's this thing, like a humiliation thing that some guys just have that gene or whatever it is.

[240] Yeah.

[241] I don't know if it's a gene, but.

[242] It's definitely not.

[243] Yeah.

[244] You know, I'm just...

[245] Yeah, there's another thing.

[246] Have you ever tried to figure out where it comes from?

[247] Have you ever, like, been like...

[248] Because I would assume that, like, from the first time on, this guy's like, you know, you should so much bottle your piss, you know?

[249] You've been like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[250] Yeah.

[251] Like, have you ever tried to figure out, like, what is wrong with these people or right?

[252] You know, whatever, depending on your perspective.

[253] Well, you know, there's not a lot of information about it, but, like, the best explanation I've heard, I know, like, Dan Savage talks about this and the author, like, Jesse Bering, he wrote the book Purve, he talks about it.

[254] It's like, there's this kind of sensitive period for guys, like, around the age of nine where their mind is just kind of almost malleable in this way.

[255] And they'll usually have an experience that will, you know, set them off for the rest of their life that hardwires them to like whatever they like.

[256] I think for most guys that's like boobs and blow jobs, but, you know, some of the time something something weirder gets in there some people it's just shitting in your hair yeah and it's and it really seems to be just like really hardwired for guys like because i as you can imagine a lot of my clients don't want to like what they like it's weird um you know a lot of them are submissive and you know guys aren't really allowed to be submissive and so you know a lot of them really struggle with it um and they try and like quit it like they see it as this addiction that they need to quit wow um but um but you can't like that's That's just how male sexuality works, it seems like.

[257] You can't like something else.

[258] So do you think it's just something that happens along the way during the developmental period, like a little hijacking of what we would consider normal sexuality to, like, it piques this interest or gets this fetish fired up inside of a guy's mind?

[259] Yeah.

[260] I mean, I don't like to speculate about that sort of thing.

[261] I don't, you know, I don't like to play an armchair psychologist.

[262] But, like, from, that seems to be like...

[263] I think you've earned the position.

[264] Yeah, maybe so.

[265] But, I mean, as far as, like, studies I've been on this, like, that seems to be just kind of the best explanation that we have right now about it.

[266] Yeah, I've talked to Dan Savage about this.

[267] And Chris, as well, like, we were talking about guys that might not even be gay that get...

[268] They develop, like, a fetish for a guy giving them oral sex or something.

[269] Oh, I talk to those guys all the time.

[270] Really?

[271] Yeah, it's called forced by, is what they call it?

[272] What is it called?

[273] Forced by?

[274] Forced by.

[275] Forced by, forced by sexuality.

[276] I thought it was forced by.

[277] I was like, four spies?

[278] Yeah, no, it's guys that want me to force them to like suck cock or like get fucked in the ass.

[279] And they'll tell me time and time again, I would never do this unless a woman was forcing me to do it or a woman was present encouraging me to do it.

[280] It's not about I want to suck a dick.

[281] It's about I want a woman to humiliate me in this way because that's the most humiliating thing I can think of.

[282] see I guess I could kind of understand like fetishes I could understand like you just get really turned on when you see women's shoes or something wacky yeah but there's something bizarre about wanting to be humiliated like that's I'm shocked when I find out how many people have this thing where they want to be humiliated yeah I don't know what do they tell you like do you do you ever have like you have video conversations with these people or audio conversations these people on the phone yeah I I talk to them.

[283] Yeah, I talk to, like, on Skype.

[284] Like, I do cam shows one -on -one and stuff like that.

[285] So you see them?

[286] Sometimes.

[287] If they turn on their cam, I'll see them.

[288] Right.

[289] And, you know, depends on if they want to be seen or not, really.

[290] I don't really care.

[291] But, I mean, I'm mostly talking to them when they're aroused.

[292] It usually once they come, it's like goodbye.

[293] So I don't have a lot of, like, you know, post -coital conversations with them or anything.

[294] Right.

[295] So, I don't know.

[296] It just seems to me like it's a different form of dirty talk, really.

[297] right so it's not necessarily that they really do want you to force them to suck a guy's dick they want to talk about it and beat off well they don't have a choice with me because i don't do sessions or anything like that um but a lot of guys do like i'm friends with women who work as dominatrixes and and yeah they'll want to set up a session where this woman like force them to suck a dick or sell their ass on craigslist or something like that and so they do it yeah yeah totally that's next level shit right yeah Some of them do.

[298] I mean, some of them are a little too scared, but no, yeah, there's certainly guys that do.

[299] But, like, the ultimate for those guys is to find a dominatrix that will get them a guy that's going to fuck them in the ass.

[300] Yeah.

[301] Or force them to suck his dick.

[302] I had a guy one time.

[303] He was this French guy, and he was really into the whole forced by thing.

[304] And he was also into being, like, blackmailed and exposed for what he was doing.

[305] And so he made a video for me. He put my name on his forehead in big letters, like C -E -A -R -A, and then.

[306] on his ass and then he just found like this black guy with just the biggest dick ever and just like made a video of him like blowing him with my name on his forehead and then getting fucked in the ass and then he wanted me to put together a whole video where I'm like humiliating him for this video and then I was going to expose him to the world and expose him to all his ex -girlfriends and he fucking loved it like I put it all together like he was just so happy and he keeps paying me money, he keeps money to do more videos and like wow and he has this goofy French accent He's super flamboyant.

[307] He'll probably watch this and be totally stoked.

[308] I'm talking about him right now, actually.

[309] Wow.

[310] So, yeah.

[311] So is he gay?

[312] You say he's super flamboyant?

[313] He is, yeah.

[314] Like, I would think he was gay, but he's apparently had girlfriends.

[315] And part of his kink is that he wants me to expose him to his ex -girlfriends for being the big fag that he is.

[316] Oh, my God.

[317] Because I need to punish him for tricking all these women when he's really just a closeted fag.

[318] So, yeah, that's his thing.

[319] I mean, he's clearly not totally straight, I'll give you that, but, I don't know, bisexual, I guess.

[320] I guess, yeah.

[321] Because he's not coming to a man for this, you know, he's coming to me, so he's obviously attracted to women.

[322] Boy, you can go deep with this one.

[323] Yeah.

[324] I guess maybe he's attracted to women or maybe he's dated women before but always secretly wanted a man but knows that it would be humiliating so that he gets his kink on, like, pretending that you're going to expose him.

[325] Yeah, maybe like you said, what Chris Ryan was saying, one's an orientation and one's a fetish.

[326] So it's like, he's a fetish for women, but he's really gay or maybe the other way around.

[327] Didn't you have a situation where a guy, like, gave you his bank account number and everything to and wanted you to pretend to steal money from him?

[328] Oh, I get that thing all the time.

[329] That's normal?

[330] That's a normal one?

[331] Yeah, well, that kind of gets into financial domination.

[332] Oh, that's a financial domination issue.

[333] You see, I've learned all these terms.

[334] Yeah.

[335] Forced by financial domination.

[336] So financial domination is basically where guys literally get off on giving a woman their money.

[337] So, like, that's their king.

[338] They just, like, get off on giving money.

[339] Do they get off on being blackmailed or being stolen from?

[340] That can be part of it.

[341] I can.

[342] But a lot of guys, like, I get a lot of guys just sending me money for no reason.

[343] Just, like, there you go.

[344] Like, and that's what they like to do.

[345] They, like, pleasing me. They, like, sacrificing for me. And that's their thing.

[346] and some guys kind of get more into the control aspect where they want to give me their bank account number or their credit card number and watch me like shop on the credit card.

[347] So you put a GoPro on and go to the mall?

[348] No, I'll usually do it online.

[349] I did a double cam session with this girl one time and this guy put all his credit card information into this Saks Fifth Avenue website, you know, and then gave us the password and was like, go ahead, shop.

[350] And in an hour we spent $10 ,000.

[351] of his money just like buying just stupid shit that I ended up like reselling because I don't I don't give a shit about designer handbags or anything like that but he liked the idea of these like bitchy kind of Paris Hilton type girls that would just laugh at him and just use them for his money wow yeah how strange yeah it's interesting though that these guys at least have an outlet now like yeah I don't know what they did before the internet yeah do you think Somehow the internet because of the access to people that are willing to do this, that it sort of fosters this or helps it flourish?

[352] Yeah, I don't know.

[353] I've thought about that.

[354] I've wondered if these fetishes even really existed before or if, you know, yeah, now these guys just have an outlet.

[355] I have no idea.

[356] Do you mind saying how much you make doing something like this or is it something you ought to keep to yourself?

[357] I'd really keep that to yourself.

[358] Okay, I understand.

[359] Totally makes sense, especially when you're talking about doing something.

[360] talking about it's $12 ,000 just in logs.

[361] We start getting into toenails and boogers and all that.

[362] Who knows?

[363] Sky's the limit.

[364] Have you ever had someone that you did this with that, like, insisted on meeting you?

[365] Um, I don't know about insisted.

[366] I've certainly had guys, like, be really persistent.

[367] But, I mean, the answer is just no. What if a guy wanted to give you like a million dollars to shit on them?

[368] Oh, I'd do that.

[369] Yeah.

[370] No one's offered me quite that much.

[371] Is there a number?

[372] I'd absolutely shut out for a million dollars.

[373] But it's got to be a guy out there that like becomes obsessed with you and he's really wealthy and he's like, it's worth it.

[374] It's worth it.

[375] It's worth it.

[376] It's worth it.

[377] Can I film it?

[378] I want to, several camera angles.

[379] I'll hire a professional crew.

[380] Yeah, I haven't quite gotten that offer yet.

[381] But so most, most of time people are content with the videos, would you say?

[382] Yeah, yeah.

[383] I mean, it seemed to do pretty well.

[384] Like how many of them at the average?

[385] asked to meet you in person.

[386] Oh, um, pretty small percentage.

[387] I mean, it's hard to say, like, in terms of, there's some guys I never talk to.

[388] They just buy my videos, you know, and then there's some guys who buy cam, some guys who buy custom videos.

[389] So your videos are for sale to the public.

[390] Like, they're never, they're never free?

[391] Yeah.

[392] I mean, unless someone pirates them, but yeah, they're...

[393] Oh, okay.

[394] So you have them on your website or something like that, and then someone signs up with a credit card and they have access?

[395] Yeah, so I have, like, a normal, like, subscription.

[396] website, you know, like any kind of porn website where you pay monthly and get so many videos streaming, like, like, two or three hundred.

[397] And then I have a few, like, pay -per -view sites where guys can, like, buy the videos individually.

[398] And how much of your day you spent doing this stuff?

[399] Hmm, that's a good question.

[400] I could ask that a lot, and I wish someone could just, like, watch me and see when I'm working and when I'm not, because, you know, when you work for yourself at home it's this blend of like working and then Facebook and then doing the dishes and then you know working and so it's it's hard for me to say how much i how much time i really spend doing it but i mean i put i try and put a lot of effort into it because like we were saying before it's it's not going to last forever so i and it seems quite lucrative yeah yeah it is it's uh it's very strange yeah does your family know about this yeah yeah yeah You said that with eyes wide open, eyebrows raised.

[401] Yeah, no, they know.

[402] What do they think about it?

[403] My mom and I don't really talk about it.

[404] The last time we talked about it was the first time I told her.

[405] How'd that conversation go?

[406] Well, how did it go?

[407] I remember who sat my house, and I knew, like, it was one of those situations.

[408] Obviously, I wasn't working at Starbucks, you know?

[409] because I was making, you know, good money, had a fairly nice apartment, you know, I bought a car and that sort of thing.

[410] So it was like, I knew she knew something was up.

[411] And so I just figured I might as well tell her.

[412] And her response was, I think she just kind of nodded and was like, okay.

[413] And then I just assured her, I was like, you know, I'm really happy and I'm safe and, you know, you don't need to worry.

[414] And that was it.

[415] She's kind of a reserved private person.

[416] So I think, you know, it just kind of makes her uncomfortable talk about it.

[417] So, you know, we don't need to um my dad thinks it's awesome like he thinks that's so cool hit the brakes what yeah my my dad thinks it's really cool your dad thinks it's cool yeah yeah what was he thinks he's cool about it um well i think he was just very surprised I mean it's the same situation like he knew something was up and unlike my mom he would make comments um alluding to the fact that he knew something was up but wasn't like what kind of comments because um well like I said like I you know how does one breach this subject well I I know you're shitting in buckets kid I know it well I think he thought it was something like prostitution yeah I think he thought something maybe worse than it was like yeah and he was alluding to that well no he like like I got um like I bought a car you know and and I was telling him I was working at Starbucks and he just was like wow kiddo Starbucks is really paying you a lot you know like comments like that where it's like I'm not buying this but whatever and then um when I finally told him, he said, like, he kind of like stopped me at one point.

[418] He was just like, you know, I don't know what's going on in your life, but I just want you to know that I really love you and I just need to know that you're okay and you're safe and that.

[419] And so I was like, all right, I should just tell him because he obviously, something else is going on his head that's way worse than it is.

[420] Right.

[421] And so I was just like, you know, I basically humiliate guys on the internet for a living and I don't meet anyone and I don't touch anyone.

[422] I don't even really get naked, and he was just like, what?

[423] And he just had, like, so many questions, and he's just like, wow, he's like, that's, that's amazing.

[424] You're a genius.

[425] That's great.

[426] You're a genius?

[427] That's what he said?

[428] Yeah, I did.

[429] Wow.

[430] What a weird dad.

[431] Yeah.

[432] Well, he's, he's gay, so he's, you know.

[433] Yeah, he's not here for whatever information that I'll give you.

[434] You know, he doesn't have the most traditional lifestyle himself.

[435] So, you know.

[436] Yeah, he's open -minded, he's cool.

[437] I guess you have to be, if you're a gay dad.

[438] Yeah.

[439] When did he come out?

[440] To me, I was 12 years old.

[441] Whoa.

[442] Yeah.

[443] What about your mom?

[444] You were 20.

[445] No, my parents had been divorced for like, I don't know, like five years, but at that point.

[446] But we grew up very religious.

[447] We grew up Jova Witness, actually.

[448] So they marry young and have kids pretty young.

[449] That was going to be my next question about how many of these guys that you deal with are religious?

[450] That's a good question.

[451] I don't know.

[452] I don't necessarily take polls, but there are some guys that like to be humiliated for their religion.

[453] One religion in particular that I'd rather not mention publicly.

[454] You'd rather not mention it?

[455] It's too obvious?

[456] Yeah, a little fanatical.

[457] Oh, Islam.

[458] Yeah.

[459] Oh, too bad.

[460] I made you mention it.

[461] So there's a guy who's a Muslim who buys your videos and wants to be humiliated for his religion.

[462] Yeah, no, and there's guys that will, I don't do this because I'm not touching him with a 10 -foot -full, but there are guys that will pay girls to, like, piss on the Quran and ripped up and that sort of thing.

[463] Yeah, so it's...

[464] And make videos doing that?

[465] Yeah.

[466] Whoa.

[467] And there's good money in it because it's, like, so taboo.

[468] Anything that's so taboo Someone's jerking off to it How hilarious is what you just said There's good money in it It's like you're saying that Like it's a good river to catch fishing You know Like they got some nice trout in that river You might die eating it But you know It's good That is what it sounds like There's good money in there There's good fishing in that river Wow Wow fuck Yeah I had one Christian guy That wanted me to make a video of me like telling them to denounce Jesus and worship me and jerk off on the Bible and I did that video because whatever Christians are going to are going to come after me for that and most likely yeah most likely no so that was pretty fun Jesus Christ how strange what a weird place to find yourself in like trapped in this or not trapped but just in this world yeah strange world of people's strange fetishes and ideas and kinks.

[469] Does it make you, like, look, I mean, you must look at people so much different than most other young girls that, like, go walk down the street in Portland.

[470] You see people.

[471] You don't, I mean, you've seen the man behind the curtain on so many of these freaks.

[472] Yeah.

[473] Well, nothing really surprises me, you know, and I find that a lot of guys, I guess because I do what I do, like, a lot of guys will tell me what they're into, just, like, just very, openly about it just because they know I'm maybe not jaded as the right word but I'm just so accustomed to hearing like the weirdest shit nothing really surprises me but I think a lot of people get paranoid that I assume uh they're into something weird like a lot of guys like everyone's always intrigued by what I do and I tell them they're just like wow and if it's a guy they're always like you know they start asking questions but then they backpedal and they'll just be like I'm not into this sort of thing I just think it's interesting and it's like well I didn't think you were until he said Is it weird with dating?

[474] Dating hasn't been a problem.

[475] I've had, I'd say, three serious relationships.

[476] See, that is right there the difference between men and women.

[477] Yeah.

[478] Right there in a nutshell.

[479] That you say, oh, it's not, it hasn't really been a problem.

[480] You know why?

[481] Because you're a pretty young girl.

[482] So pretty young girls, guys are like, oh, okay, whatever.

[483] What do you do?

[484] You shit in a bucket?

[485] Whatever.

[486] Are we going to fuck?

[487] We are.

[488] Yeah, I can deal with that.

[489] but if you know but if a girl met a guy and the girl's like what do you do for a living he's like well I take shits and buckets send him to dudes girls would be like I'm out that's it I'm not handling I don't care how cute you are you fuck that's a good point I didn't totally true what do you do oh I set my toenail clippings and shit guys I fart and underwear all day and then I sent them to dudes girls would be out they would never take your text yeah that's I think you're probably right guys would assume oh she's a freak oh my god she's not gonna say no to anything this girl's off the chain she's out there peeing on dudes or peeing for dudes yeah that's the difference she men and women men will tolerate so much more bizarre shit yeah but not a lot of guys want to date like a stripper necessarily like they get jealous and that's a little different that's different because it's what you know or porn stars certainly that's got to be really hard that's a that's a hard one yeah yeah that's a real hard one i've had friends of dated porn stars and then it gets to a point where it gets kind of serious yeah and you know these girls come home from a like i had a friend i had a friend who was a writer who's a writer on news radio and he was dating this girl who was a very prominent porn star at the time and they were at dinner and she you know they were you know trying to have like small talk like normal people do at the end of the day at dinner and uh he was like uh so what's going on you know how he been she's like oh just had this hard anal day with this guy I kept pounding my ass.

[490] I'm so tired.

[491] And he was, like, sitting there, like, with his jaw drop, like, oh, Christ.

[492] Yeah.

[493] Just he couldn't do it anymore.

[494] It's tough.

[495] I know another guy.

[496] I got another guy who was living with a porn star.

[497] Like, dating, living.

[498] Cool with it.

[499] Fine.

[500] No big deal.

[501] It's just her job, man. Just her job, dude.

[502] And then one day, she left a contract out and, you know, going over the contract.

[503] And he looked at the contract and he's like, was Airtime?

[504] tight mean.

[505] I know what airtight means.

[506] Airtight means a dick in every hole.

[507] One in the mouth, one the butt, one in the vatch.

[508] And he was like, that's it.

[509] I'm out.

[510] That was it.

[511] The phrase airtight on a contract, he just realized what he was getting into.

[512] It wasn't that his girlfriend was going off and having sex with another man. She was getting stuffed.

[513] Yeah.

[514] She was getting brutalized.

[515] That's interesting.

[516] Like, I mean, if you're okay with your lady, you know, having sex with other men, And, like, what, how do additional dicks really make a difference?

[517] I don't know.

[518] To him, it was just a straw that broke the camel's back.

[519] I don't know.

[520] I mean, I think he's probably close to not being able to take it anyway.

[521] You know, sometimes people get into things.

[522] Like, it's not what they want.

[523] Right.

[524] But the girl is so much prettier than most girls they get and so much hotter.

[525] Yeah.

[526] Like, I have a friend, here's another one, a different dude, who has been living with a porn star for a long time.

[527] Yeah.

[528] And she retired recently.

[529] She just does, like, videos and stuff.

[530] Uh -huh.

[531] But the whole time where they were together, she was just getting guerrilla fucked.

[532] Yeah.

[533] Like four or five days a week.

[534] And he's like this really nerdy, sort of like low -key, quiet guy.

[535] And she's pretty hot.

[536] Yeah.

[537] And it's like the only way he's ever going to get that kind of a girl.

[538] And I guess in him, she finds stability and a nice, a mate and someone who's kind.

[539] And, you know, and then she goes off and gets guerrilla fucked.

[540] Yeah, yeah, right?

[541] That's really what it's all about.

[542] At the end of the day, the real problem is our attitudes about sex.

[543] At the end of the day, that's where that's the only place it becomes a problem.

[544] Because if you're off getting mass massaged, nobody cares.

[545] If you go someplace and three people massage you, nobody gives a shit.

[546] Right.

[547] But if three people fuck you, then we're like, hey, you're breaking the rules.

[548] Yeah.

[549] You know?

[550] Yeah.

[551] Especially like in the porn industry, I mean, they're getting.

[552] tested every week so you know it's it's kind of hard to make the excuse that you know it's more dangerous for your health because I think I think their population is actually like um there's less instances of STDs than the general population or promiscuous people in the general population that makes sense yeah kind of makes sense because they have to like how many people do you know get tested every week you know Jamie Jamie's three times a week oh good for you he doesn't even fuck he's just paranoid no just kidding um but what I would always think that well if she gets tested on Friday and then we bang on the next following Thursday who knows how many dicks have been around since then infected charlie sheen dicks you know that's what could happen poor charlie huh who saw that coming yeah no kidding crazy charlie isn't that interesting poor guy such a victim yeah he is a victim he's a victim of circumstance the crack and the dick were in the same room at the same time and he didn't know which one of smoke whoo guys i feel like i'm Tony Hinchcliff now with the puns.

[553] Do you, uh, that's a crazy story, right?

[554] Apparently he was like blowing guys, but I guess you do enough drugs, you know, I guess you get cracked out enough and you're like, who gives that shit?

[555] Give me that dick, I'll suck it.

[556] You know, you're just off the fucking rails, right?

[557] Yeah, or he's just bisexual.

[558] Could be.

[559] Just in the dudes.

[560] Well, there was a story a long time ago about, was it Corey Hame, is that what it was?

[561] Corey Feldman apparently said that Corey Hame got fucked by Charlie Schen.

[562] He sort of like alluded to it.

[563] Like when they were, when Corey Hain was really young, but, you know, Corey Philemon's kind of crazy.

[564] So, who knows?

[565] Allegedly.

[566] Allegedly crazy.

[567] Everybody's crazy.

[568] But, you know, I wasn't surprised, right?

[569] Were you surprised?

[570] That Charlie Sheen got AIDS?

[571] Well, he's got HIV.

[572] R .H .I. First of our, be politically correct on the show.

[573] Excuse me. This is super important.

[574] He's got HIV.

[575] Yeah.

[576] No, that doesn't surprise me at all.

[577] No, no, no. He's a tall train wreck.

[578] He's a freak.

[579] Yeah.

[580] I don't get why people, like, celebrate him so much like he just seems like an awful person like well at one point in time what he did was the unthinkable because he was a superstar right two and a half men giant sitcom with the biggest sitcoms in the country he had been in platoon and wall street he was michael douglas's son i mean it's yeah jesus or martin's son michael douglas's why they have a different name i'm like i forgot what i'm talking about when he had that like tiger blood melt down everyone just thought it was so funny yeah and it's like this guy's fucked up like he has kids And like, yeah, but that's because he was doing the unthinkable.

[581] He was owning it.

[582] And in this country, what we hate is when someone gets busted doing something and they go to rehab.

[583] Yeah.

[584] You know.

[585] Oh, my God, for bed.

[586] You know, like you get.

[587] Quitter.

[588] No matter what you do, I mean, you could get busted doing anything, you know, like Mel Gibson went to rehab because he was yelling at a Jew when he got pulled over.

[589] He was yelling a cop, calling him a Jew.

[590] and he's like I got to go to rehab for hating Jews like he went to rehab did he go to rehab for that he did right yeah Jew hating rehab yeah I think they have a Jew hating rehab but cop I don't think the cop was even Jewish he was just drunk and crazy but it was like that that's what led him it's like you got to you got to make amends you got to find something to got to pull it together got to go to rehab to pull it together that's the move in this country we demand do you go to rehab yeah you can't even do you can't even rehab at home nope not good enough yeah got to go there Or like if you, you cheat on your wife and it's like, oh, I'm a sex addict.

[591] Gotta go to rehab.

[592] It's not that I have powerful and have all this money and women want to fuck me. Nope, nope, no. Rehap.

[593] Got a problem.

[594] Got a sickness.

[595] Got an illness.

[596] Got to go to rehab.

[597] That's what we, it's like that Amy Winehouse song.

[598] We make people go to rehab.

[599] Was that the first one?

[600] It's a good question.

[601] I think you might have nailed it.

[602] That might be it, because that was what it used to be.

[603] When I was a kid, it was always, oh, he went to Betty Ford.

[604] Yeah.

[605] And it was like what you would say when someone had fucked up and just completely blown it.

[606] Right.

[607] Yeah.

[608] Do you ever get dudes that are former sex addicts?

[609] Like they've gone to sex rehab and they've had counselors tell them that they need to stop.

[610] I don't know about, I'm sure I have.

[611] I've never talked to any guys about it specifically but there's a definitely a certain percentage of guys that think they are like addicted to me and it can be kind of confusing because I think sometimes that's part of the fantasies that they're addicted to me but there are some guys that like legitimately like have a problem with their spending and their jerk off habits and just how much this fetish world kind of consumes them and they make poor decisions and like especially if you get into the whole like black male exposure fetish like oh yeah i had a guy one time um really felt bad for him actually um nice guy we'd cam and like he would dress up you know in women's clothing like and not like classic clothing just like outrageous kind of bimboe like uh tutus and just crazy slutty makeup and then he would get a bunch of used condoms and put him in his mouth oh jesus And then take pictures, and he would want me to, like, you know, pretend to blackmail him and, like, threaten to send him.

[612] And he would give me, he would give me, like, real people's, like, email address, like, ex -girlfriends and stuff like that.

[613] Or he was also one of the guys that would want me to make a video and release it.

[614] And so he paid me a lot of money to make a video and release it.

[615] And then I remember, like, a week or so later, I got an email from a dominatrix that he saw in person.

[616] and it was like a really serious email and she was just like, hey, you know, I know you made this video for this guy and I just want you to know that he really struggles with this fetish and he's kind of suicidal and he's really freaking out about, you know, that you put this up even though he asked you to do it and I just wanted to kind of reach out to you and ask if you would consider taking it down.

[617] And so I did.

[618] And yeah, I mean, can you imagine I don't know what you're into Joe, but like imagine like whatever you're into sexually instead of like that feeling you get where almost not quite uncontrollable but just kind of where you lose it a little bit sexually because you're just so like intoxicated like that feeling for you know being exposed in this way where there's condoms in your mouth and you're like dressed as a woman and stuff like that and then you come and you're like oh fuck what did I do so a lot of guys like really struggle with it where they their desire comes from this place of just something they actually really do not one really like scares them and freaks them out like it's a so that's so strange to have the the the the two contrasting sides sort of right next to each other yeah pre and post orgasm right well I feel like we all maybe kind of share that a little bit girls too well I mean well I mean just the idea that I mean sex just normal sex is kind of weird and kind of gross if you're not turned on you know like or like even if you're like watching normal porn like it looks really awesome and feels great when you're aroused and then you come and it's like ew yeah who was i a second ago you know so and that's just maybe like to very lower degree but yeah you get into these weird fetishes and that that difference is much more defined well there's definitely a difference when you're there you know there's definitely a difference like if having actual sex with someone and being aroused and then what it must appear if you weren't horny at all yeah you know especially if you look gross naked right You know, like, people who look gross naked, they don't go, fuck, they just, ugh.

[619] And then when it's over, they're like, ugh.

[620] Yeah.

[621] You know, you look at it all and you're like, what the fuck am I, what am I doing?

[622] What is this?

[623] What is this weird urge that your body's natural reward system sort of been hijacked?

[624] Yeah.

[625] Just to get you to come in someone's mouth.

[626] And then you're like, what is this?

[627] Yeah.

[628] Like, what is going on here?

[629] And especially if you're a guy, it's like, it seems like you're almost like cognitively impaired and your priorities are just.

[630] Almost.

[631] Yeah.

[632] 100%.

[633] I was trying to be nice.

[634] The way I've described it is like when a guy has an erection, it's like sitting in the back seat of a really long bus or some other dude's driving.

[635] But it's hard to talk to him because all the windows are rolled down and the engine's really loud and you're yelling, do you know where the fuck you're going?

[636] And you're watching your life take place through a dirty windshield.

[637] Like, where are we going?

[638] That's a great analogy.

[639] That's so true.

[640] And then once you have an orgasm, all of a sudden when the clouds of confusion part, you wake up and you're at the front of the bus holding out of the wheel.

[641] And you're like, what the fuck?

[642] what is going on here.

[643] That's literally what it feels like to a guy.

[644] But that's how there's seven billion people on the planet.

[645] That switch that goes off where massive impairment of function of thought all just gets shot down, all those fuses start blowing off circuits start shutting off.

[646] That's how people made sure there's seven billion people in the planet.

[647] Yeah, it's true.

[648] Especially back when people had never figured out soap or wiping or anything.

[649] I mean, who knows what people smelled like 200 ,000 years ago.

[650] But there were people 200 ,000 years ago, and they were having sex with each other.

[651] You got those pheromones going, though.

[652] I mean, barely probably puts you over the top.

[653] It barely allows you to.

[654] I mean, the guys that we want to buy my underwear, I'll wear them for a day, but they want me to wear them for a week, you know.

[655] Do you lie and say?

[656] Don't say.

[657] No, I don't lie.

[658] Of course you don't.

[659] I know.

[660] Do they ask you to do things in the underwear, like farting them?

[661] Yeah, I get that or shitting them or pissing them or masturbating them.

[662] Oh, God.

[663] Anything that can secrete off my body or someone wants to eat up.

[664] Oh, God.

[665] Is there ever anything that people have asked you to do and you said no?

[666] Other than meet them?

[667] Yeah, sure.

[668] Well, because I'm kind of, you know, I'm always in control.

[669] I'm like the female dom.

[670] I won't do anything that depicts me as submissive.

[671] I don't get naked I get pretty close I get pretty scantily clad but I don't get completely naked yeah yeah that's about it if it's I mean if it's a video that I can just do just me and the camera and I'm in control I'll probably do it have guys ever tried to get you to not be in control have guys ever tried to switch it around on you yeah pretty rarely though I think most guys kind of get But, you know, they know what I'm about, so they know it's kind of a lost cause to try otherwise.

[672] But, yeah, once in a while.

[673] They know what you're about.

[674] That's hilarious because you've got a reputation in the humiliation world.

[675] Yeah, exactly.

[676] God, it's so fucking strange.

[677] Is it a strange existence?

[678] It really is.

[679] Yeah.

[680] It's fucking weird.

[681] But it seems like it's a flourishing existence.

[682] That's what's strange about it is there's obviously a certain percentage of the population that wants this service.

[683] Yeah.

[684] Yeah.

[685] And it seems, I'm like, because I have no, I have some friends in the porn industry, and it seems like mainstream porn is, you know, losing a lot of money with piracy and whatnot.

[686] I mean, I'm sure they're still doing pretty well, but.

[687] Oh, they've lost most of it.

[688] It's been the bottoms dropped out of it.

[689] The way, where they make money now, ironically, is really, well, not.

[690] Yeah.

[691] That's where they make money.

[692] Yeah.

[693] It's kind of funny.

[694] I don't think that's ironic, really.

[695] It's like Alanis Moore said ironic.

[696] It's odd.

[697] That that's where the money's coming.

[698] I don't have guessed that necessarily.

[699] It's paperview.

[700] Paper view in hotels.

[701] Yeah.

[702] But who the fuck doesn't have a laptop?

[703] Like who's doing that?

[704] Yeah, that's weird.

[705] Like, I've seen people even say, like, hey, don't go to these free sites.

[706] You know, you should support your local, your performers and, you know, buy porn.

[707] But most people are like, whatever.

[708] Mm -hmm.

[709] You know, most people don't care.

[710] Yeah.

[711] That's a business.

[712] But I see a lot of, like, former mainstream porn girls, like, doing what I do now.

[713] So it kind of seems like it's.

[714] kind of the new thing and there's something to be said about the more personal interaction and the fact that there's no like middleman it's just it's me you know when you email me you get me and right and control too yeah also that you don't have to worry about it yeah you know that's that's got to be a big aspect of it because if you're doing films and then you know you don't get to i guess maybe decide if you you have that kind of power who you have sex with or what you do but if you want to make more money right you got to do other stuff you know yeah it's got to be tricky yeah totally yeah i don't do anything i don't want to do so that's pretty sweet yeah i think in that sense the like the porn business is probably going to go sort of the way of the record business in that like the record business was controlled by these big groups and they're kind of they're worthless now because no one's selling records anymore right and sort of the porn business was like this big thing where like all these guys who were the producers and the content creators like these companies these big companies they were making millions and millions of dollars and the girls made some money yeah but they didn't make the bulk of the money they were the ones that everybody was paying to see but most of the money was being made by the producers yeah well that's fucking dried up and now the girls are kind of owning it themselves now doing stuff like what you're doing yeah and like a lot of the other one i see like uh different people uh on twitter they offer like videos and stuff like private videos they'll do with people yeah yeah and i think i mean if if a guy's even the slightest bit fan boyish they they like that their money is going directly to the person and not, you know.

[715] Yeah.

[716] Oh, definitely.

[717] Yeah.

[718] Well, sure.

[719] I mean, there's a lot of that fanboyish shit, too.

[720] That's a lot of, like, there's fans, like, I don't think people who are outside of the business or aren't in somehow or another know somebody in the business, but there's guys that are like fucking sports fans.

[721] There's sports fans of porn stars.

[722] Like, they want to get, like, autographs and they, like, they're fans, like.

[723] Oh, yeah.

[724] Well, the AVN every year they have.

[725] the whole AEE convention and it's all just the girls signing autographs and what kind of freaks show up at those things.

[726] It's fun.

[727] I go every year.

[728] You go every year?

[729] Yeah, because one of the clips for sale, one of the sites that I sell my videos off of, they have a booth.

[730] And so I'll go over there and sign.

[731] And it's so mainstream.

[732] Most guys don't know who I am, but every once in a while they will.

[733] But yeah, it's, you know, kind of like whatever you imagine a guy like that would go to that, you're probably right.

[734] like it's exactly what you're picturing it's yeah but that's also honestly they're the same dudes who go to comic book conventions yeah you know the same dudes are really into baseball you know we could all be in that group yeah that's true a few wrong turns or right turns depending on your perspective yeah yeah it's we have a weird thing in this country particularly about sex and anything else where you're really into it it's it's okay like you can be addicted to playing golf And everybody goes, oh, there's Jamie.

[735] He's on that golf course every day, this crazy fuck.

[736] But if you're at home beating off every day, you're a freak.

[737] Yeah.

[738] You're a loser.

[739] You know, you could have gigs and gigs of porn, and you really love it, and you talk about the old days.

[740] And, you know, you have, like, you know, like Mike Tyson used to watch, like, old Jack Dempsey films and learn technique.

[741] You know, like, you can't be like that with porn.

[742] Because if you like that with porn, you're a fucking loser.

[743] Yeah.

[744] It's weird.

[745] That is weird.

[746] I mean, as long as you're getting everything else done in life, it's not interfering in any critical way.

[747] And even if it is getting in the way, so is everything else people get addicted to.

[748] So is food.

[749] People that are nuts about food.

[750] People that love gambling.

[751] Yeah.

[752] That gets in the way.

[753] Everything gets in the way.

[754] But we look at those things as somehow or another being a better thing to be addicted to.

[755] Yeah.

[756] Preferable.

[757] Yeah.

[758] Yeah, I think you're right.

[759] Right.

[760] Yeah.

[761] Yeah, we're a little fucked up about sex for sure.

[762] lot fucked up about sex but whatever right i mean that's how you pay the bills like imagine a perfect world where everybody was open -minded what would you have to do you'd have to be working at starbucks just like you told you i know all these guys would like be honest with their wives about what they're into and then they never come to me for it yeah so it's probably better that we live in this strange world yeah i think so the echoes of the puritans who founded the strange country what did you go to college yeah what did you go to college for i studied psychology.

[763] Oh, perfect.

[764] Yeah, minored in business.

[765] Oh, perfect.

[766] Jesus Christ.

[767] You're born for this.

[768] That's hilarious.

[769] Yeah.

[770] So this is a perfect gig for you.

[771] Yeah, I think so.

[772] Wow.

[773] I'm going to fit right into it.

[774] Awesome.

[775] I don't know how much longer we could talk about this, but I think we kind of nailed it.

[776] I've had a feeling this was going to be one of those podcasts.

[777] Yeah.

[778] How long has it been?

[779] An hour?

[780] An hour?

[781] An hour and five minutes.

[782] Okay.

[783] Can I do a little selfish?

[784] Sure.

[785] Please do.

[786] Some self -promotion.

[787] So I haven't mentioned this at all.

[788] all publicly yet, so I wanted to save it for this podcast because I know you got a pretty big audience.

[789] I have, for the past couple years, been working on a documentary with a filmmaker Julian Shaw from Australia, and he's been doing a documentary on me, filming me, and we just opened up a Facebook about it, and we'll be launching a Kickstarter to help fund the rest of the movie pretty soon.

[790] So if people want to join and get updates, it's...

[791] It's Facebook .com forward slash ruin me movie.

[792] So it's essentially a documentary about what we're talking about here.

[793] About me, yeah.

[794] About humiliation, about how these guys want you to do these things to them.

[795] Exactly.

[796] Threaten them.

[797] Yeah, and we've filmed a lot of it, mostly through, like, private investors, but we're going to do some crowdsourcing here soon.

[798] So, yeah, it's going to be called Ruin Me. So it's, yeah, Facebook .com, forward slash, ruin me movie for updates on that.

[799] All right, beautiful.

[800] Thank you.

[801] Thank you, Sarah.

[802] Very nice meeting you.

[803] Yeah, you too.

[804] Young Jamie, take us out.