Drew Carey

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to the armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dak Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by...

[3] Drew Carey.

[4] Okay.

[5] Drew, how are you doing?

[6] Really good.

[7] I'm really nice and I'm really generous.

[8] Good -looking orangeish sweatsuit.

[9] Thanks.

[10] I'm in a sweatsuit today because I didn't really want to wear real clothes today.

[11] It was one of those days.

[12] Oh, it says bun on it?

[13] It says sun.

[14] Oh, sun.

[15] Okay.

[16] And on the back it says rise.

[17] Sunrise.

[18] Ooh.

[19] Drew Carey, of course, is a comedian.

[20] He's an actor, he's a voice actor, and a game show host.

[21] You probably came to know him on the Drew Carey show or whose line is it anyway.

[22] And he is currently hosting The Price is Right.

[23] What a good time we had.

[24] So I hope you enjoy Drew Carey.

[25] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[26] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[27] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[28] He's an armchairxswain.

[29] I just offered Drew a coffee or a tea, you know, any kind of caffeine that he would prefer.

[30] And he said, you just drink water.

[31] Yeah, I used to drink like at least three cups of coffee in the morning, two or three, sometimes four, and then I go to work, and then I'd have a Pepsi, and then I'd do the show, and then I have a big crash, you know, like after the first or second wheel, and then I'd have to get another Pepsi.

[32] like before the second wheel to get through the rest of the show and then I would go to lunch and have iced tea and something else and crash hard in my dressing room and take like this awful drooly nap and then get another Pepsi go out and do the second show another Pepsi to get through that show and then I'd be exhausted and I'd get home I'd go to dinner and have iced tea again get home, have another Pepsi and then I'd be like, why can I sleep?

[33] And I would be taking like two ambient sometimes or at least one I couldn't imagine going to sleep without an ambient every night.

[34] Yeah, and so are you, horrible.

[35] Are you off that?

[36] Oh, yeah.

[37] Can I say for the record that I think Ambien's one of the worst things in the world?

[38] Of course you can.

[39] You're free to say whatever you want here.

[40] What about Xanax?

[41] Never took a Xanax.

[42] You've never taken a Zanax.

[43] Okay, so I'm sober for 15 years.

[44] I didn't even take Ambien for 13 years.

[45] Then I was doing a sitcom where I did a live show on Friday night, and it would end at 10 o 'clock at night.

[46] And then I would come home and I would try to go to sleep.

[47] And then my kids would be up at six.

[48] And I was like, this is undoable.

[49] You can't go to sleep after you've been creative for, like, hyper creative for a few hours.

[50] Yeah, in the audience.

[51] Catch at your brain on.

[52] Yeah, yeah.

[53] So finally, I got a prescription for Ambien that my wife was in charge of administering to me, all and on Friday nights.

[54] And it did work, and it was CR, right, so it released slowly.

[55] And it did work in getting me to go to sleep.

[56] But after five hours, I was just wide awake.

[57] And so it didn't really work for me. But I do recall Xanax as being a real restful night's sleep and a terrible thing to get addicted to, but I do think effective.

[58] Minimally, like, if you're traveling six times a year, I'm sure it's fine.

[59] Yeah.

[60] You know, I learned to, I learned to meditate the last couple years, the Pichana meditation.

[61] I took that 10 -day silent retreat course thing.

[62] Oh, we got to hear about that.

[63] And so I've learned to, like, even if I'm laying in bed trying to sleep, if I can't sleep, I've learned to, like, start meditating in bed.

[64] And then if I'm not asleep asleep, at least I'm so rested.

[65] Yeah.

[66] And I just drift off eventually and I'm fine.

[67] I do that too.

[68] Do you have a mantra?

[69] No, it's a silent meditation.

[70] It's a 10 -day course and they teach you each day a little bit about the technique.

[71] And the first day, you just learn to concentrate on your breath coming in and out of your nose.

[72] So you just do that, and that's your distraction.

[73] Right.

[74] For lack of a better word, your mantra to keep your, just shut your monkey brain off.

[75] Yes.

[76] So you just concentrate on the breath, coming in and out of your nose.

[77] And then you concentrate on how that, like, third day, I think you're concentrating on how it hips, like this little top of your lip.

[78] Oh, uh -huh.

[79] Just that one little spot.

[80] Sure, a little divot.

[81] Yeah.

[82] And then the actual technique is you do, it's going to sound weird if anybody's never meditate before it's going to sound really crazy but you sit perfectly still and you do like a body scan where you start at the top of your head a little tiny area and as soon as you feel any sensation you move to another area another area another area and you do like a scan of all your skin all the way down like to your fingertips your toes oh wow the webbing like behind your ear every little spot and it takes like an hour to do me for me to do a whole scan because that's how long most of the meditation sessions were yeah and then they teach you different techniques like you can split your body in half and do like one half and then the other half.

[83] When I sit down when I'm laying in bed, I'll just concentrate on my breath.

[84] I'm having trouble sleeping and the next thing you know, I'm asleep.

[85] Were you pessimistic that you would not be able to learn to meditate?

[86] Because I was very fearful that I wasn't a candidate for it.

[87] I've had like a therapist recommend meditation to me and I got like an app.

[88] If you don't know anything, it's like telling somebody to take up running and not know anything about it and they just put on some chucks and go outside and start running and they know, I don't get it.

[89] You know, or go to a gym and they don't know anything about the weights or how to properly lift or anything like that.

[90] It's anything.

[91] It's anything.

[92] like that you have to like there's a technique there's a technique to all of it so um i remember i got some app one time and i did five minutes or like close to 10 minutes and i was like woo hero i did it 10 minutes i had almost 10 minutes today of perfect stillness what am i i'm not the same person i was so it was like all a disaster and i all half -assed and whatever and then i was clicking around on the internet one day and i just happened to come across this phibishana course and I was like, I probably aren't even pronouncing it right, but I read so many good things about it.

[93] And then I talked to a friend of mine that was into the stuff, and she said, oh, I've heard so many good things I've always wanted to do that.

[94] And it doesn't cost anything to sign up.

[95] You just go to, like, if I can plug it, DOMA, dh -a -M -M -M -A.

[96] D -H -A -M -A -M -A.

[97] D -H -A -M -A -M -A.

[98] Like, Domain -Grog.

[99] Dama .org.

[100] And then it doesn't cost anything.

[101] You just have to sign up.

[102] And then they ask for a donation at the end, but they don't put it.

[103] press you for it but they do bring it up that they operate on donations oh that's nice and if you can donate you do if you don't you don't and they don't really blink an eye one way or the other honestly right then all the money that you give goes towards like meditation center that keeps the lights on keeps pays for the food it's like an a meaning when you throw a buck in the basket just to keep next week's donuts yeah and then nobody gets paid in the whole organization they all they all volunteer oh wow there's no bogwan at the top of it like driving a bentley or anything No, no, everybody volunteers.

[104] And was it 10 days of silence for you?

[105] Yes.

[106] Now, I sometimes fantasize about this.

[107] And the only thing I really like about myself probably is my ability to chat.

[108] And I just can't imagine the one thing I value being taken away from me. I couldn't wait to shut up for 10 days.

[109] Oh, really?

[110] Yeah, it's all they do is talk all day.

[111] Yeah.

[112] You know?

[113] I hear you, but isn't your identity so linked to that?

[114] Like, without me chatting, I don't know who I am.

[115] Yeah, but I wanted to shut off and get away from all that.

[116] And it's temporary.

[117] It's only 10 days It was such a long time I wanted to quit like the second day You did it feel like a month It felt like forever When you get there you're talking everybody And like hey I'm Drew where you from And there was this guy I met that I'm still friends with He was a Marine, he was a war veteran It was the second time doing it And he said the first time He wanted to quit in the middle of it And they talked him into sticking around For one more day And I was like They got a Marine combat vet Is saying hey I give Yeah it's like Hell Week at the Seals or something I was like, oh, my God.

[118] And then second day, I was like, oh, man, I can't do this.

[119] This is my back hurts.

[120] Can't find a comfortable way to sit on the stupid mat and how do I cross my legs and all that stuff.

[121] And I was like, I'm out of here.

[122] And my friend was in the women's section.

[123] You're not allowed to talk to each other.

[124] They keep the men and women separate.

[125] I was like, I'll just write her a note.

[126] And I'll stick around in the city.

[127] I was out by New Minneapolis.

[128] I'll just stick around in Minneapolis.

[129] And when it gets out, I'll just meet her and then we'll fly back.

[130] And I thought, no. gonna try to the end of the day and i'll give it one more shot yeah and then i'm glad i did but it was like long days what day did you reach like a sweet spot where you're finding like not uncomfortable anymore there's like the third fourth day i didn't i didn't find a really a super comfortable way to sit until like the ninth day oh jeez they had a thing called the hour of great determination there's all broken up like you get up at four in the morning at four 30 you start meditating for two hours and right away you're like in the deep end yeah yeah where you're like who But you can see people, you know, around you in the meditation hall, like they'll be sitting and then you see it like adjust their leg or roll their shoulders or something, you know, during the two hours of the hour.

[131] But then once you learn the technique, they asked you to try this thing called the, they call the hour of great determination where there's three separate one hour times during the day.

[132] So they're all different times, hour and a half, two hours, whatever, three different hour sessions.

[133] And during those hour sessions, they wanted you to sit perfectly still, like to not move a muscle.

[134] So once you get set and the gong goes off, no rolling your head back and forth, no wiggling your fingers, no wiggling your toes, like a statue.

[135] Don't move at all.

[136] Eyes closed, just breathing normally, not to move a muscle.

[137] And I could feel like an itch coming along on my back.

[138] And then I would go, okay, there's my itch.

[139] And then it would move to another spot, another spot, and then it would go away, and I could trace it along my body coming and going, And the same thing with any kind of little, like, back pain would show up, and then I could feel it move along the different nerve pathway that it went through, and then it would get to another place, and that it would go away.

[140] Yeah.

[141] And they give you, like, a Buddhist teaching at the end of every night.

[142] And one of the big things is they talk about the DOMA wheel.

[143] That's why it's called DOMA .org.

[144] Things come and go.

[145] You know, they're at the top, then they're at the bottom.

[146] You're born, you're dead.

[147] Everything's temporary.

[148] Your car rust away.

[149] Everything's temporary in a faster, slow way.

[150] And that's the biggest lesson of the whole week.

[151] And the whole 10 days, so I was like, oh, this is just another example of this temporariness.

[152] So here comes this uncomfortableness.

[153] Yeah.

[154] And I recognize it.

[155] I don't react to it.

[156] I don't judge it.

[157] I don't get mad at it.

[158] Right.

[159] I don't embrace it.

[160] You just experience it.

[161] I go, okay, there's that uncomfortableness that came and that I'm, you know, whether it's expected or not, I know it's going to go away, so I'm just going to sit here really quietly.

[162] And then for sure, it was really interesting in me to watch it, like, come in and go.

[163] This whole meditation is to, and Buddhism is to get rid of craving and judgments and, you know, these things.

[164] So you just, like, in a still state.

[165] So when the it comes or when the pain in your back comes, you recognize it.

[166] Right.

[167] You don't ignore it.

[168] You're in traffic.

[169] I recognize I'm in traffic.

[170] I'm not going to yell with the traffic.

[171] I'm not going to.

[172] You have no sway over the traffic.

[173] No, so just sit here and recognize them in traffic.

[174] Well, we do have a strategy, though.

[175] We both ride motorcycles.

[176] I ride a scooter today.

[177] That's fine.

[178] To get away from that.

[179] Yeah, I'm like a shark lately going through traffic.

[180] I'm like, jealice.

[181] I'm just like, whew, whew, whew, whew.

[182] It feels like a superpower, doesn't it?

[183] When I'm in LA, because I'll go from here in Los Felas to Santa Monica.

[184] That should be a 90 -minute commute in the morning.

[185] If I'm on the motorcycle, 25 minutes.

[186] And I'm like, oh.

[187] I went to my doctor's in Santa Monica.

[188] And I was like, I'm riding my motorcycle, man. And it was 90 degrees or 100 degrees.

[189] And I was like, too bad.

[190] Yeah.

[191] And it maybe isn't the healthiest feeling.

[192] But I just, I feel like, oh, God, I'm so lucky that I'm not sitting like these other people.

[193] Like, I get a ton of gratitude for my position of just commuting.

[194] I know we had all this Buddhisty talk, but I got...

[195] Yeah, I really took a turn quick.

[196] An entitlement turn.

[197] I love it.

[198] No, it's not just entitled.

[199] I think it's just being smart.

[200] Like, I was driving to get to Santa Monica from probably here my place, had to go through Santa Monica Boulevard through Beverly Hills.

[201] Oh, yeah, it's a beating through there.

[202] A beating.

[203] I'm passing people in, like, their bentley's and stuff.

[204] I'm just like, what do you think of Bentley now, buddy?

[205] Glad I'm not in the Bentley.

[206] That's right.

[207] Even a guy in a Lamborghini can only go eight miles an hour.

[208] I know.

[209] Yeah.

[210] And I was, I was projecting.

[211] I like being in it when I'm, when I get a chance, yeah.

[212] I was projecting.

[213] I'm entitled.

[214] I have huge entitlement issues.

[215] Do you?

[216] I do.

[217] Yeah.

[218] I took an acting course one time and recently died, Sam Christensen.

[219] One of the things you learn is your main, like, Young Ian and Joseph Campbell myths that you carry with you all the time.

[220] Right.

[221] My two big ones are duty and privilege.

[222] Duty and privilege.

[223] Yeah, so I have a strong sense of duty.

[224] So on the Drew Carey show, I worked in an office and it was up to me to save the store.

[225] And It was up to me to solve the problem.

[226] And if I didn't do it, that's kind of what I'm like.

[227] I have a strong sense of duty to people in my life where it gets ridiculous sometime.

[228] Then also, on the flip side of the coin, I have a strong sense of privilege where on the Drew Carey show would be like, hey, I save the store, where's my raise?

[229] Or how come I don't get a better place to work?

[230] Or how come I don't get a special parking lot?

[231] You should be rewarded for your duty.

[232] Recognize, celebrated.

[233] Where's my share?

[234] That's my sense of privilege.

[235] Or in real life, I have a BMW 7 series.

[236] tough if you don't like it right right sure you know i can relate i got afford it i bought it yeah i put a lot of bmw people to work and you know yes i'm into cars and i'm kind of unapologetic about it it's my it's my it's my hobby it's the thing i enjoy you know george george gray who the announcer on the price is right really into cars too he probably he's a big gearhead uh -huh he doesn't have one new car all his cars are drivers from like the 60s and 70s first of all you showed up on a motorcycle you're wearing chuck tailors i happen to be wearing check tails i happen to be wearing check tails i There's just a lot happening here that I feel is fortuitous.

[237] It's the official shoe of improv and comedy.

[238] God, that is true.

[239] But neither of you are wearing zip -up hoodies, so that's a problem.

[240] Yeah, probably like a generational thing.

[241] I might have missed the zip -up hoodie.

[242] Certainly now I don't think you can be into comedy without a zip -up hoodie.

[243] But you're from Cleveland.

[244] I'm from the Detroit area.

[245] We're both Midwesterns.

[246] Did you go to Cedar Point as a kid?

[247] Yes, all the time.

[248] That was my big high school graduation.

[249] I think that was where the senior party was.

[250] at Cedar Point.

[251] Yeah.

[252] So Cedar Point is this huge amusement park in Sandusky, Ohio.

[253] Exactly between Detroit and Cleveland.

[254] Mm -hmm.

[255] Now, I want to ask you, so all of my friends and I from Michigan, who used to go to Cedar Point a lot, I want to ask if this was anecdotal to my friendship group or that you experienced this as well.

[256] We'd go to Cedar Point as kids.

[257] You'd get so sweaty.

[258] And your ass in particular would get so sweaty.

[259] It was uncontrollable.

[260] And we would often have to stop in the bathroom and just dab it with some paper towel or some toilet paper and then inevitably about hour eight there you'd get a wet butt cut nothing happened to your butt other than it was just so sweaty and now all of a sudden you can feel that you have a cut in your butt and it's stinging and this has happened to all my friends at home and i just wondered if that had happened never never happened so it's not universal no okay okay i'm happy you're here that's encouraging but some one of my friends called it a wet butt cut they're like did you ever get a wet butt cut at cedar point and i'm like oh my god every trip by the end of the day i was in misery and agony but i still wanted to ride the gemini it does get pretty hot out there oh yes humid you're running it's a huge park if you if you're at the gemini and you want to go the corkscrew that is a hike yeah and they have like crazy rides there too like that place and then what's the name of the place kings island in cincinnati they had the beast yeah those two places are like huge rollercoastery you know if you want just thrills galore yeah there's no theme happening there it's just all adrenaline.

[261] Yeah, it's like the Disneyland is like, oh, you want to be pleasant and see the music acts and walk around.

[262] The food's kind of good.

[263] Food's great.

[264] Yeah, yeah.

[265] Actually.

[266] Yeah.

[267] I'm a club 33 member at Disneyland.

[268] Oh, you are?

[269] And I love that place, yeah.

[270] And so you go and that's by Pirates of the Caribbean, right?

[271] Yeah, yeah.

[272] And then you go in there and it's a club and there's different food there?

[273] Well, they have like, you can have a nice dinner there and there's like a little bit of a dress code, like no flip flops or tank tops.

[274] Okay.

[275] Pretty loose dress code, but still.

[276] Yeah, like no shorts at night.

[277] No speedos.

[278] No string bikini tops.

[279] But you'd be amazed.

[280] Like I'll be with people and they're like a, man, we should go to Club 33, but you're wearing jeans with holes in them and football.

[281] Yeah, at a theme park, that's, most people are dressed like that.

[282] Yeah.

[283] If you're a wardrobe person and you wanted to get like, oh, what's the casual wear that people would wear around the neighborhood in like the 70s or the, you just have to look at pictures of the prices right from the 70s or Disneyland.

[284] Right.

[285] And you get to see exactly what people wore and all the awful outfits people dress.

[286] Yeah.

[287] Every fanny pack in the world.

[288] How do you get into Club 33?

[289] There's a waiting list, I think, and then it's a big expense every year.

[290] They charge you a huge membership fee every year.

[291] I want to do that.

[292] Oh, did you just go in and, like, visit it?

[293] I just want to be a part of it, an exclusive club.

[294] She lives very attracted to things that are exclusive.

[295] Oh, I mean, if you guys ever wanted to go, like, just have dinner at Club 33, we could do that.

[296] I'll get your number, and we'll, next time I go to Disneyland.

[297] I'll give you a shout, and we'll go to Disneyland together.

[298] We'll go to Club 33.

[299] We'll have, we can have drinks.

[300] I don't drink, but we can.

[301] We'd have drinks and have dinner.

[302] Yeah.

[303] If I were you, I'd be inclined to go like, that's an empty promise.

[304] It's not an empty promise.

[305] I know I'm going to defend you right now.

[306] I'm going to prove to you that this.

[307] So that could be from any other guests, like an empty promise.

[308] But I happen to have this weird window into who you are that probably you're not aware of.

[309] And it was when I was in the groundlings and I was making $10 a year.

[310] Caitlin Olson, who I was in with was one of my best friends.

[311] She got on the Drew Carey show while we were in the Sunday company.

[312] And then she did USO tour with you.

[313] maybe one or two, and then he's really that guy.

[314] She'd be like, oh, my guy, yeah, invite us all to his house.

[315] I think after the U .S .O .2, you bought her like a Mac computer as a thank you.

[316] Oh, my goodness, that's so nice.

[317] I got to see, like, the, you know, the...

[318] That's why I don't have more savings.

[319] That's okay.

[320] You made other people's lives better.

[321] Yeah, she was great to work with, by the way.

[322] Yeah, she was really happy for her success.

[323] I remember she was like a, you know, recurring guest star on the show and had like a regular spot, and it was me, and then a couple of other.

[324] the writers we used to always think like man kate linole shouldn't she have her own show yeah like this is she's good but this should not be her thing she should have her own show somehow and be a main person in a show and that she was isn't it nice when you like you've been doing this now for i don't know 25 years or something yeah whatever uh when you do see the people that you felt like deserve to shot get that shot and then succeed yeah like one of the secrets of success and show business i think is to surround yourself with people that are really good.

[325] Mm -hmm.

[326] Like, I was never, just talking about the sitcom, I was never, give me all the laugh lines person.

[327] Okay.

[328] Like, I didn't care who got the laugh.

[329] Yeah.

[330] As long as somebody got a laugh.

[331] Right.

[332] Because still my name was on the show.

[333] It's like, you're in the aura of laughter going on, so you get part of the credit for being there.

[334] Yes.

[335] And when you're, like, in groundlings, and if you're out there, if you're doing a scene and somebody else is getting laughs and you're just good at supporting, so what?

[336] You're all getting laughs.

[337] Yes.

[338] And they're not going to get the laugh unless you're doing a good job supporting you know they're not out there by themselves either i'm grateful that i started in improv and sketch it is much more of a collaborative shared experience it has to be the lows are shared which is really nice yeah something each shit it's like all four you are out there yeah and two of you wrote it so it's like you can shoulder the shame all get the blame uh -huh and then when you win you win as a group and you can then go if you if you crush in one of your stand -up shows right and then you go out to eat with four people and you're just you want to ride that high of that but just you explaining how you enjoyed it is it would be very narcissistic but of all five of you had this great set and you could all just kind of share about the experience right?

[339] It's weird you say that because most comics I know all my friends they would do a crushing set they would a killer set and then you would be talked to them and then they would go man if I would have said that one thing different and all they just picked themselves up there's a great old joke but it's like a barish joke comic sitting around Friday night at the comedy club having a drink at the bar and a beautiful woman walks up from one goes, oh, you were so funny tonight.

[340] I think sense of humor is the most sexy thing in the world.

[341] I just want to take you back to my place and just fuck the shit out of you.

[342] And he looks at it and he goes, do you see the first show or the second show?

[343] Yeah.

[344] That's great.

[345] It is not unlike, I don't know if you've been around gambling addicts at all, but I have.

[346] Oh, yeah.

[347] And even like an unnamed family member of mine, even when he would win a ton and I would see him, have been up for like nine hours playing craps i'm up x amount of dollars and then furious i knew i should have pressed my heart eight four came up and it's like there's always so brown lining to it i could have been up 15 000 i'm only up 10 000 but i made a mistake on this bet and i let this guy get me you know bluff me out of a hand that's the madness of it is like it talk about craving like in its most pure form do you go to vegas a lot i don't there was a period again when i was an functioning addict that I enjoyed that place.

[348] But for me, now, mostly, I don't, I don't love it.

[349] Oh, I love Vegas.

[350] You do.

[351] When you go to Vegas, do you gamble?

[352] You like it.

[353] What's your game?

[354] Blackjack, mostly.

[355] And I bet sports, too.

[356] I have a sports betting website that I bet games on.

[357] Oh, okay.

[358] I own part of a soccer team in Seattle, the Seattle Sounders, so I own a piece of it.

[359] So I'm not allowed to bet on soccer at all.

[360] Period.

[361] Which is a shame.

[362] Yeah, no World Cup or anything.

[363] Because that's probably what you understand the most.

[364] You probably could bet the best.

[365] Boy, I'd make so much money if I could bet soccer.

[366] Do you want to bet through me, like a proxy?

[367] No. And we'll split it.

[368] No. No, I don't even do that because that worries me that somebody's, it'll get out or something.

[369] But I do bet on football and baseball and, you know, whatever random fight is coming up.

[370] And in general, do you think with your ledger that you kept as a young person, if you added it all up...

[371] I'd be about even.

[372] You think you'd be about even?

[373] I think that's a huge accomplishment.

[374] If you just end up even.

[375] Or a little less than even.

[376] But I've had some pretty, like, when I was broke, I had like twice, I lived in Vegas for a while and like twice I almost lost my rent money.

[377] Oh, from gambling?

[378] Yeah.

[379] Can I tell you a story about when I was, my gambling day?

[380] Yeah.

[381] So I had no money, you know, just had a regular job, job.

[382] I finally got an apartment.

[383] So I had this apartment.

[384] I was really happy to have an apartment.

[385] And instead of living in this horrible motel I lived in before when it was like cockroaches and everything.

[386] So I had my own apartment.

[387] And I had my cash with a deposit slip in one pocket.

[388] It was like $80 or something.

[389] I had $10 in cash in my other pocket.

[390] on a Friday, and that was going to, the $10 was going to get me through the weekend.

[391] So there was a, the Mint Casino at the time had a buffet that was $1 .90.

[392] And I would go to the mint buffet one time during the day, and I would just gorge on, like, chicken, bread, macaron, like, everything and just, like, eat until I couldn't even put more food in my mouth.

[393] Then I'd walk out, and that was my only meal of the day.

[394] And then I would drink water the rest of the day to keep my belly full.

[395] Or I would buy, like, macaroni and cheese at the grocery.

[396] grocery store and I couldn't afford the butter or the milk so I would make it like with no milk and would be like really sandy or just water if I didn't have either one and just like okay this is my sandy crummy macaroni and cheese yeah little vegetable oil you can put in place oh that's good idea if I could afford a bottle of vegetable oil and by the way when I started making money I started making a craft macaroni and cheese deluxe oh yeah that was my rich guy I'm rich bitch absolutely mine was ordering pizza I'm gonna fucking order pizza right now with whatever I was what I always wanted to do and couldn't.

[397] Oh my God.

[398] We all have these like little It feels great right?

[399] Yes.

[400] So yeah I'm broke and I have like 10 bucks that's gonna last me the whole weekend but I thought to myself you know I'm pretty good at video poker pretty lucky.

[401] Let me go play some video poker with this 10 bucks and I'll try to win another 10 bucks and then I eat really good over the weekend until Monday and Monday I'll go to work I'll get an advance on my paycheck and I'll be good you know that was my plan I get to the video poker machine I lose the whole 10 bucks now I'm like oh I don't have any food and I'm either going to starve till Monday or let me take this cash out of this pocket I'll just go to the blackjack table and play $2 and $5 blackjack I'll get up a couple hands we'll call it even and I'll forget this stupid plan right away I got in a hole I got in another hole I got another hole I lost the whole 80 bucks I started out like early the evening now it's like 11 o 'clock at night midnight or something I'm like well fuck now I'm screwed I'll tell my landlady, my wallet got stolen.

[402] And everything I'm thinking of is like, oh, we're in Vegas.

[403] She's going to know it's a lie.

[404] She's probably heard this from everybody.

[405] So then I went to the bank.

[406] I went to the ATM and I got out all the money I could, but they had the rest of the rent money in there.

[407] So it was like an extra 150 or something like that.

[408] I could get 140 to get all out.

[409] And that was all my money in the world.

[410] And I went to, went back and I gambled and I just started ordering coke.

[411] I didn't smoke cigarettes, but I started ordering cokes and coffee.

[412] and got a pack of cigarettes with smoking cigarettes just to stay alert and stay awake and it took me to like 8 in the morning and I won it all back you did plus 20 bucks oh what a ride to get 20 bucks to get $20 think about the cortisol dump the adrenal gland exhaustion you just put your body through to make that 20 bucks you might as well have sold your ass I'm going on I might as well I realize why people do it right you know when people get up in that situation where they're like, yeah, I had a blow guy for crack or whatever.

[413] You're like, okay, I get it.

[414] Yeah.

[415] You know, when you're broke and that's your only option.

[416] Yeah.

[417] You make decisions like that, and that's the situation.

[418] And I'm not going to sell some blood, sell some plasma.

[419] I sold plasma for 40 bucks one time.

[420] Oh, sure.

[421] So stressful.

[422] But that scales up.

[423] The same thing could been, like, he could be a guy playing $10 ,000 a hand and have that same stress as the guy playing a $2 ,000 a hand because it's all relative.

[424] Yeah.

[425] Do you do stand up there still?

[426] No, no. Never.

[427] I don't do stand up much anymore.

[428] Although that's the three.

[429] threat for the last like two years I've been saying like oh yeah I'm going to start stand up pretty again and this summer I was going to start stand up again and is it motivated from having seen someone's great special and thought like oh fuck I do want to say more no it's not that I want to be it's like oh man I have this thing I can do well why am I not doing it right I want to do it well I don't to do part -time and do my same old act and nothing else and just get up there and put my one hit on.

[430] You know what I mean?

[431] I don't want to be like that.

[432] I want to be always writing new stuff and trying new stuff.

[433] And that takes a lot of work and time where you really have to kind of be in it like all day.

[434] Even if you're not sitting at the desk, you still have to have your gyroscope on to be or you're subconscious in tune to that.

[435] So you're always thinking of stuff and always in that playful mood or as much as you can be it's like you turn on your observation brain and then you have to get to the club a little early because you want to see the different standups that are up before you and you want to hang out a little bit after and talk to people and discuss the craft or just hang out and then leave i was with a friend of mine um duncan trussell who does duncan trusel family hour he has a really good podcast and he he's a big world of warcraft fan some blizzard uh entertainment people came to the price right once and invited me to a tour the place down in um Braya.

[436] Okay.

[437] So I said, Duncan's going to love this.

[438] They make World of Warcraft and everything.

[439] So we went down to Brea and we got to tour the facility and he was freaking out because you could see people like at their computers, making the characters and like designing everything.

[440] We met all the people from there.

[441] And on the way back, he's like, man, all I want to do is play World of Warcraft now.

[442] But I got a set at the store, at the comedy store, a 10 minutes set.

[443] Right away.

[444] And he goes, man, I got to go back home.

[445] and then I got to get to the store early and catch the other acts.

[446] Then to do 10 minutes and then stick around.

[447] So it was like three hours out of his day to drive past Edina down there and then do his 10 minutes and go back.

[448] And his whole evening was shot.

[449] And, you know, so I think about that because at Price is right, I talk all day and I'm joking around with the audience all day.

[450] You know, in between every act, I'm doing crowd work.

[451] And I think, man, do I really want to get on another stage and have another audience look at me?

[452] Yeah, this was a question I would have...

[453] Psychically draining.

[454] Wanted to ask you towards the end when we go through your career, which is so extensive.

[455] I mean, you've made...

[456] I don't even know what are...

[457] I'm always hustling, man. Well, right.

[458] And I wonder, I'm curious when I look at the prolificness of your work, if nothing else, it's prolific.

[459] You've got a thousand episodes of television you've made.

[460] Oh, yeah, I really have done a lot of episodes of TV.

[461] A ton.

[462] A ton, a ton, a ton, a ton.

[463] So are you motivated by...

[464] Because I just got a glimpse into it about doing standards.

[465] up are you motivated by oh i want to go do that thing or i should be doing that thing both both yeah you know you only got so much time and you you know you're born with a thing or you develop a thing you know if you like do you play guitar piano or anything yeah play uh guitar terribly drums okay okay so you learn to play guitar you didn't learn to play guitar in your house by yourself no you wanted at one point you're going to go hey somebody's over to party or there's another guitar player I know let's get together and play or you want to like play for your wife at least or somebody and play a song for them because you learn this trick right so a lot of it is that right where like I had this whole life before I was famous that I wasn't famous like all the way I didn't get famous until I was kind of later yeah like I started doing stand -up and I was like 28 and then it took me a while to get going and then you know I did the tonight show or something when I was 33 I think and then I was kind of in doing like clubs to stand up so I had done star search yeah and I was like if I went to a town and people saw me in the club that night people might recognize me from that but otherwise I could just go wherever I wanted and nobody knew me and then all of a sudden everybody knew me so I had this whole other life of being like a waiter you know I filled vending machines at a factory and I had all these like job jobs you were in the Marine Reserve I was in the reserves yeah what do you say yeah oh people bring that up all the time like I like flew a bomb well there's people were like that guy I met at the at the meditation thing he was a combat vet and everything and that was in the reserves in the 80s and I didn't do anything I kept I went to my reserve you were like a radio I was a radio operator uh -huh but it was one weekend a month and we all we did was go to training exercises and I and two weeks during the summer and my joke is that I kept the comedies out of Ohio because there was like it was so long ago and I honestly didn't do no combat no fighting no anything daring i don't have any stories about how you know how i saved a village injured in training or anything no not even that even on base i i i only saw a fight i never gotten in a fight uh -huh but i man i remember being on a base and watching like two platoons of guys just like going at it one night on a friday night in the middle of the road no these are like grown grown men in the marine corps punching each other in the face and trying to kick each other and actually hurt each other and i was like wow where you look at them go But, you know, people bring it up, and I'm sure it's like, I don't know.

[466] I have no stories from that.

[467] But it is unique.

[468] It's not that you meet many comedians that did that.

[469] Why did you enlist?

[470] I joined because I needed a job.

[471] I wasn't even super patriotic or anything.

[472] I needed a job.

[473] Right.

[474] I wasn't like I was like, oh, I got to serve my country.

[475] I needed work, and I was living on my brother's couch, and I didn't have any money.

[476] I was living in Las Vegas at a motel that's been destroyed now.

[477] It's not there anymore.

[478] There's like a U -Haul empty lot there now.

[479] But it's in the neighborhood in Las Vegas.

[480] by it was by fremont and charleston and if you google map it you'll see it's not the greatest neighborhood it's not the worst neighborhood in Vegas but when he talked to people in Vegas and you go i used to live by fremont and charleston they go ooh it's kind of like the where i grew up in cleat like not far were you east east or west of cleveland uh they called it the near west side so i was still in the city of cleveland uh -huh but i was on the edge by the suburbs but not quite but i was still in the city of cleveland went to cleveland public school are you the youngest of three yeah two older brothers yeah What are the age gaps?

[481] We're all six years apart.

[482] So I was six years older and the six years older.

[483] My theory is that as soon as one of us went to school, my parents got busy.

[484] Yeah.

[485] That kind of holds.

[486] Yeah.

[487] Makes sense.

[488] They had some day.

[489] Some extra time on their hands.

[490] They had some daytime.

[491] Yeah.

[492] Kids at school.

[493] Right.

[494] So your oldest brother was 12 years older than you.

[495] So I mentioned that you were really a baby in all senses.

[496] I was always on my own.

[497] Were they pretty kind to you, those two?

[498] My oldest brother, Neil, who's dead right now, he was always gone.

[499] Like when I was, when he was 18, he just got out.

[500] Really quick, how did?

[501] Why did you get a heart attack?

[502] Oh, he did?

[503] Yeah, he was one of those guys that, when I'm 18, I'm out of here, man. So as soon as he turned 18, he just couldn't wait to move and get away.

[504] Right, so you were six and he just, yeah.

[505] So he was gone.

[506] And so then it was me and my older brother, Roger, so it was just like the two of us.

[507] And then when I was in sixth grade, he was off to college.

[508] Uh -huh.

[509] So junior high and high school was just me and my mom.

[510] Your dad died when you were eight?

[511] When I was eight, yes.

[512] I felt like an only child.

[513] and I was a latchkey kid, which I thought was great.

[514] Sure.

[515] I hear about latchkey kids.

[516] I'm like, what do you complain about?

[517] You get the whole house to yourself.

[518] 100 % watch TV.

[519] Yeah, cartoons.

[520] I used to make macaroni and cheese.

[521] Like, I would eat in a way that there's no way my mom would have let me. I'd sit down and have two boxes of macaroni and cheese after school and watch Green Acres.

[522] Yeah, I'd watch whatever I wanted and nobody was there.

[523] And I was like, what are you complaining about?

[524] Go through everyone's drawers and shit.

[525] I used to snoop around the house.

[526] Yay, latchkey kids.

[527] Privileged latchkey kids.

[528] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[529] We've all been there.

[530] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[531] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[532] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[533] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[534] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[535] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[536] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[537] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[538] Guys, it's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[539] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[540] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[541] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[542] And I don't mean just friends.

[543] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[544] The list goes on.

[545] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[546] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[547] But so in general, I'm far more interested in what people have overcome than you winning an Emmy just so you know never won an Emmy but you know what I'm saying I can't relate to a guy holding a statue but I can relate to a lot of this stuff I know you wrote in your autobiography and that's kind of what I find most interesting I think most helpful to people is like again not the victory lap but like when it was sucked how did Drew Carey get through it is all very interesting like I said I had this whole normal life where no dough you know taking a bus all the time I used to keep a journal like a ledger thing to keep track of my expenses I would honestly keep track of every penny like I would count my change into my pocket and lay all my money out and go okay I have you know $25 .34 cents let's see if that matches up I spent like you know so much on gum blah blah blah everything was written down you know 10 bucks was like a huge amount of money yeah so what result did that have because for me personally I wanted money so bad I wanted shit so bad it still completely infects me. A lot of my whole careers is based on me making money.

[548] Right.

[549] And I, yes.

[550] Like, you were asking me if it was driven by the desire to do something.

[551] I'm like, a lot of it is money.

[552] If I think of doing stand -up again, a lot of it is because I like doing it, it's the art form.

[553] And then a lot of it is like, fuck, I could make a lot of money.

[554] Right.

[555] And I'm already making money.

[556] Mm -hmm.

[557] But I thought, but that's like, I hate having money on the table.

[558] I say that, but at the same time, I blow money like crazy.

[559] Like, I really do, like, you should have my accountant and my psychiatrist.

[560] That would be great in the fact check.

[561] Yeah, I'll call them.

[562] Oh, no, you know what?

[563] You should have, like, a thing where you do, like, the celebrity come on with his accountant and a psychiatrist.

[564] And they all get to chime in.

[565] Call bullshit on 90 % of what they're saying.

[566] But I wonder, is your thing similar to mine, which is I establish a number, and if I get to that number, I decide I'm going to feel safe.

[567] And then I've hit that number, and I don't.

[568] feel any safer.

[569] There's very little actual release of my fear of being broke.

[570] Like, it's not linked at all to reality.

[571] Well, no, I don't have a fear of being broke anymore, although I do have the fantasy where like, okay, if I lost my house, I could live in a condo and I'd still be okay.

[572] Right.

[573] And if, you know, I didn't have two cars, I would be okay with just the one car.

[574] Yes.

[575] You know, and so what.

[576] And I could say, oh, I had my day.

[577] I think of that a lot, like, if if worse came to worse and if like the economy crashed and I was like once I had a real road made it run.

[578] If I was like that guy, I'd still be okay because I have all these survival skills that I learned from being broken Cleveland.

[579] I do this all the time like my wife and I'll be on a road trip.

[580] We'll stop at some simple hotel in Idaho.

[581] It'll be $29 a night.

[582] And while we're in the hotel, I'll say to her, you know, I just thought about like between just your residuals and my residuals from stuff we've already done, we could live in this hotel.

[583] If we just wanted to live, live, in the hotel.

[584] Oh, yeah, and then have that be your life.

[585] I could do it.

[586] Like, and that makes me feel really safe.

[587] I think I think that too.

[588] I swear to God.

[589] Yes.

[590] I really do.

[591] So I really relate.

[592] I'm like, well, be in a place.

[593] I'm like, fuck, well, this is 900 bucks a month, basically.

[594] And there's no maintenance or taxes.

[595] So yeah, we could do like, and I just go, who worst case scenario we live in here, I'm safe.

[596] That's what that's exactly how I think, buddy.

[597] Yeah.

[598] Worst case scenario, I'm good.

[599] Yeah.

[600] I can survive.

[601] But did you ever see that movie, it came out of a year.

[602] years ago like over a decade ago about happiness oh yes it really affected me and my thinking because one of the big things you need for happiness like i'm not talking about they brought up things like winning a super bowl or getting a new car or having sex or whatever it's temporary like you get this rush of happiness when you get your hair done and you look hot or you know you got a new outfit and you're at the club and you're like don't i look good or you get this rush of like temporary happiness but then it'll fade away but how to get like a baseline happiness that's what it was about and the other stuff is just icing on the cake.

[603] And one of the things was have enough money to, so you're not stressing a bill.

[604] Because I have been where I've called friends and he'd, hey, they're going to shut my gas off if I don't pay this in a week.

[605] Right.

[606] And somebody having to like send me a wire or send me a money order so I could pay my gas bill so my gas thing cut off, get cut off in the winter or selling up your car with gas.

[607] Or like, oh, I'll take $2 worth.

[608] Yes.

[609] Because that'll get me to work or like oh i'm not gonna yeah boy i hope i cannot drive while the gas prices is high i hope they drop like i'm gonna try to run this tank out in hopes that it did yeah let me get through the memorial day weekend yes and then wednesday i was aware of those high those holidays that raised the thing i'm like oh i gotta fill up i knew every place in my neighborhood like instead of going to the expensive shell station i would drive a mile to the marathon station right at the speedway yeah the speedway to get the cheaper gas because it would save me like a couple bucks and that adds up yep Again, I don't know what your like overall trajectory is, but I certainly know that there's a period in the late 90s where you're making a ton of fucking money.

[610] So you're on Forbes list, 98, you made $45 million, they said.

[611] After the Drew Carey Show and Hoosline and everything, before I started Price is Right, I was set up where I didn't ever have to work again.

[612] And I didn't have to change my lifestyle very much.

[613] The things I like, I could still do and not have to work.

[614] So I was like, oh, good.

[615] I'm kind of retired.

[616] I can still buy stuff and live and have fun and I don't have to worry about work.

[617] And then the price of the right came along and I, you know, it's really crazy that I have this.

[618] It's going to, it's sickening if you don't have your money.

[619] You're hearing somebody talk like this, but.

[620] No, I think it'd be more sickening for you to act like that that's not your reality.

[621] Oh, yeah, maybe.

[622] You know what I'm saying?

[623] That's what I get, I get bent out of shape about hypocrisy and lying, not someone owning what the real life's like.

[624] You know, I make a lot of money.

[625] The CBS makes a lot of money off our prices right.

[626] Yeah.

[627] A lot of people make a lot of money off that show.

[628] But when you were in that spot, when you retired, in quotes, retired, the first time, did some peace and contentment come with that acknowledgement?

[629] Like, oh, I'm good.

[630] Finally, I'm good.

[631] Even though I blow money, I can still afford it.

[632] Right.

[633] Now, I can't relate in some ways, because my dad, they got divorced when I was three, and he just was really just not around.

[634] I saw him every other weekend or something.

[635] I hardly knew my dad by the time he died when I was eight.

[636] Yeah, I hardly knew him.

[637] He was in and out of the hospital all the time.

[638] Oh, he was.

[639] What did he die of?

[640] uh finally brain cancer oh brain tumor i read brain tumor yeah but he had like a stroke blood clots i mean i have several memories of him like being taken out of the house in an ambulance on a stretcher visiting him in the hospital him just coming home and not being able to do much maybe playing a little catch in the side yard one time we went to a hockey game together but that's about all the memories i have of him everything else had chronic illnesses he was always sick yeah And then the, always with a heart thing or something, it was a stroke, heart attack, blood clots.

[641] And then he had an eye taken out.

[642] They were trying to get to the thing in his brain.

[643] Oh, wow.

[644] Took out his eye.

[645] Remember one time he took the patch off and let me look inside his eye socket.

[646] Oh, wow.

[647] That was pretty cool.

[648] Yeah.

[649] I remember that day.

[650] That's cool and scary.

[651] Yeah.

[652] You want to have a look?

[653] And I went, yeah.

[654] And he took off his eye patch and he just let me look inside.

[655] Oh, wow.

[656] Yeah, that's crazy.

[657] Yeah.

[658] So he was always that way since you were born.

[659] Yeah.

[660] So I hardly remember.

[661] And all I heard was stories about him.

[662] growing up from my mom and my relatives.

[663] I did have a lot of resentment.

[664] My mom would never tell me a good story about my dad growing up.

[665] Every story was a negative story about my dad's drinking or about his neglect or his spending habits and stuff like that.

[666] And a lot of them were her funny stories about like jokingly like, oh, yeah, I can never win.

[667] Here's an example.

[668] Like one time she said my dad was drinking and she told him if he came home drunk one more time, she was going to call the police.

[669] He came home drunk.

[670] She called the police.

[671] And the cop that showed up was a drinking buddy of my dad.

[672] And I saw my dad, he's like, Lou, you all right.

[673] And she was like, you know, can't win.

[674] Ha, ha, that's my life.

[675] Right.

[676] And I would think, like, oh, these are joking stories about my dad.

[677] Then later on, when I was adult, I would resent her for telling these stories.

[678] Like, you never told me one good story about my father.

[679] Yeah.

[680] And I don't have any male role models that I can look up to and think, like, oh, I want to be like this guy.

[681] Right.

[682] I mean, there were, I found them, and I found them on my own.

[683] but no nothing organic where like don't you want to be like your father or like you're a carry now so we expect this from you like there was never any of this right in my family at all it was always like hey it's who you know not what you know and and uh you know good luck i'd never had this expectation of like you need this because this is what your family did or this is what your dad did right so i didn't have that and all i heard was negative things about them even though they were jokes like one time another famous story my mom would tell me like repeated over time was uh we went to dairy queen one time and i was a baby so two two -year -old with the mom, eight -year -old with the mom in the car, and they had a sale on Sundays at this Dairy Queen.

[684] So there's a big line.

[685] My mom said it was like 45 minutes or something like that or have some interminable amount of line, time in line.

[686] So he's waiting the line outside to get to the Dairy Queen window to order the Sundays.

[687] He gets four of them.

[688] Neil has two.

[689] My dad has two.

[690] They're on the way to the car.

[691] They get to the car and for some reason my mom said he thought Neil was going to drop the Sundays.

[692] So we said, give me those.

[693] And he gets the two Sundays from Neil.

[694] And so my dad has four Sundays now.

[695] And he goes to open the car door and he drops three of them.

[696] And after he dropped the three of them, he took the fourth one.

[697] And he threw the fourth one.

[698] He was so pissed.

[699] He dropped the three.

[700] Got in the car, drove home, nobody got any.

[701] I can relate to that reaction.

[702] I could see myself doing that.

[703] Yeah.

[704] So first I resented my mom for doing this.

[705] I'm like, well, you never gave my dad a break.

[706] And I never heard that he must on some good stuff because my other relatives on his side would tell me how nice he was and how funny he was and you know how oh i miss your your dad sense of humor and he was great to hang around and then i was thinking about it was like no my dad was a drunk and a if you had a girlfriend that said oh my my boyfriend or my husband i told him to quit drinking or i call the cops you wouldn't go like oh ho ho that's funny that the cops showed up maybe you think like wow how did it have to get so bad like what led up to her finally saying and snapping and going, hey, do this to me again in the kids, I'm calling the police.

[707] This wasn't a first time, hey honey, you had one too many thing.

[708] It's like he's an alcoholic coming home every night and she's finally at the end of her rope not knowing what to do and thinking like, fuck, I got to call the police because I don't know what else to do with you.

[709] Right.

[710] Because you, I can't take this anymore.

[711] Yeah, that's like DefCon 1.

[712] I mean, that's getting the cops involved.

[713] And then one time he had a my mom was home with nothing to eat and nothing to feed the family with and he was supposed to come home with the paycheck, cash his paycheck and come home so she could go grocery shopping, never came home and went drinking instead.

[714] She told me that story.

[715] Right.

[716] And I was like, oh, why are you always begging on my dad?

[717] Yeah.

[718] But now I think like, wow, you're a saint to even stick a lot.

[719] Why didn't you get divorced?

[720] Right.

[721] Like, why did you just strike out on your own and cut this guy loose?

[722] And then he ended up dying of, you know, all these bad health things that he brought on himself.

[723] Have you never drank?

[724] No, I used to drink a lot.

[725] I wrote, I actually wrote a book once called dirty jokes and beer.

[726] Yes.

[727] Because I drank so much.

[728] I was in an alcoholic or anything, but in college I was a functioning alcoholic.

[729] Okay.

[730] So you never, you didn't have to quit.

[731] You just kind of shows.

[732] I just kind of did.

[733] So I've talked a lot on here openly about being molested.

[734] My mom is a CASA, which is people who volunteer to help kids in foster care.

[735] Oh, okay.

[736] They become like their buddy and they take them to all their appointments.

[737] And then they have one person that they're kind of getting familiar with through this whole process.

[738] Right.

[739] So my mom does that in her retirement.

[740] And so she has to take all these classes like one a month to stay certified as one.

[741] And so she called me one time.

[742] She's like, yeah, I just left this class.

[743] And do you know, you only have a 20 % chance of not being an addict if you've been molested.

[744] 80 % of people that are molested will be addicts.

[745] And I was like, huh, I just always assumed genetically I was an addict or I had other issues.

[746] But I was like, certainly I don't think I could ignore something that was a statistic that high.

[747] That has to be in the soup for me. Yeah.

[748] I'll bring back this meditation thing.

[749] Like, they call it monkey brain when you're flating from one branch to the next and your thoughts keep flying around so the idea is to quiet that monkey brain but like when you're driving and it happens to have a lot of things like bad things in my life where you're driving you're interacting or talking to somebody and it'll you'll flash on something you'll be reminded of something and you're like nope not now and you put it back and you look for a tv show to watch or some music to put on the radio or french fries and you want a distraction from that so you don't think about it so that's your way of suppressing it During that 10 days, there was nothing I could reach for.

[750] There was nothing I could do.

[751] You weren't allowed any writing material or reading material or music or your phone, nothing except meditating and sitting by yourself.

[752] So the whole time you're there, you can't believe.

[753] All this stuff was like, hey, remember me?

[754] The thing you couldn't think about, the thing you were been ignoring, notice me now.

[755] So all this stuff about my childhood and every bad decision I made and every evil thing I did.

[756] You know, we've all done some pretty shitty things.

[757] other people and all that stuff would come up and like it was like crazy and then i would take a nap during the lunch hour and it's like these amazing like technicolor dreams that i didn't have to get interpreted by anybody because it's so obvious yeah yeah yeah yeah nothing metaphorical oh yeah one of one of them was like i was in a room and there was like shit coming out of a toilet like in an old peter sellers movie was just like turds just like flying out like they've been Yeah, like, and I couldn't, I was, like, trying to put the lid down and stop it.

[758] A geyser.

[759] A geyser shit.

[760] And all this shit just coming out.

[761] And I was like, whoa, stop the shit.

[762] And it was like a silent movie.

[763] And, you know, all this shit was coming up.

[764] And then I woke up and I'm like, huh, I don't need to talk to anybody about what that meant.

[765] Literal.

[766] Yeah.

[767] Yeah.

[768] All the shit was coming out.

[769] Yeah.

[770] I remember that one particularly.

[771] I was like, oh, I woke up and I kind of laughed.

[772] I was like, all right.

[773] Well, that's one for the books.

[774] And at the end of the 10 days, with allowing them to come to the surface and then just, I guess, sit in them for periods of time?

[775] Did you feel like you left lighter?

[776] Like less of it.

[777] So at peace with everything.

[778] Yeah, because is it in a way dealing with it just by recognizing and let yourself think about it and pay attention to it?

[779] And that's cathartic in itself.

[780] Yeah, a lot of this father stuff, you know, when it finally came up, that would relieve a lot of things for me and, you know, the stuff of my mother, you know, that really affects you your whole life, your relationship with your mother and father and how it is.

[781] I think my mom was trying to be, like, jokey with me when she was telling me, but like she didn't want to hurt me and say he died was a piece of shit right you know he was a racist uh -huh you know which he was he died in 66 i remember he belonged to a lodge and i remember finding the lodge bulletins you know you get the bulletins and it would have like a note like please keep brother lewis carry in your in your prayers blah blah just died then they would have like a joke section and i can't even repeat them oh my god sure i was like holy shit you put this in a print you just five minutes ago you could be fully out loud about all that i was shocked and then also not shocked and i was like well that's my neighborhood that's cleveland for you know cleveland is very segregated for a long time and i remember uh this is after i was on the tonight show so people knew me as a comedian i didn't have a sitcom yet i'm in cleveland and i'm at a counter at a local diner i went to all the time and i'm at the end and one guy sitting by the register and it was a kenny kings that sold kentucky fried chicken so this chain in cleveland had a there was like four, five stores, maybe six.

[782] And they all had a license to sell Kentucky Fried Chicken.

[783] So you could go into this diner and get a three -piece mashed potatoes and a cup of coffee and silverware and sit at a counter at a table.

[784] Yeah.

[785] And they also had other regular food.

[786] And they had a go place next door.

[787] We could just walk any, like a regular KFC, we could get to go.

[788] And it was like an all -white neighborhood.

[789] So I'm sitting there and there was a drunk sitting by the register and he sees me and he goes, hey, aren't you that guy from the comic TV?

[790] And I go, yeah.

[791] He goes, hey, man. because I go, hey, I got a joke for you.

[792] And I go, okay.

[793] And I go, what do you call?

[794] And it's a racist joke.

[795] And I'm like, I'm like, oh.

[796] And he goes, you don't think it was funny?

[797] And I go, no, man, sorry.

[798] That really goes, oh, whatever.

[799] And the whole time he's telling it, I'm looking at him.

[800] And he's looking at me. So he doesn't see the register.

[801] But this black couple came in.

[802] And they came to the register.

[803] And they're standing right there as soon as he says, hey, aren't you that comic?

[804] So this guy tells the joke and he's saying it loud enough that every, you know, people around, because I could hear at the end of the counter.

[805] So they could definitely hear.

[806] I'm just in shock That this guy's balzy enough And I'm like This is just like my dad used to tell her Like friends used to tell When I was in grade school In the neighborhood And I was like come on And they haven't left yet But they're standing there The waitress comes around Who I saw every day there Comes around the corner And she goes I gotta go to them for you As soon as it's all white in here Wow Oh boy I'm like get me the fuck out of here man Get me the fuck out of here That's all like it And I'm honestly I'm thinking I gotta get out of here man I gotta move I gotta go to someplace else Yeah I don't want to live in this I don't want to be you're not here anymore.

[807] But you could have easily been just if that's your whole world and you grow up in it, like that's normal.

[808] Because if that's all you're used to, why wouldn't you think it's normal and cool?

[809] I say this all the time.

[810] I don't know what your life was like on the playground when you grew up.

[811] But there were probably 10 things that were described with the N -word in them.

[812] Yes.

[813] I wouldn't have even known the definition without that.

[814] Never even at seven years old linking that word to a people or anything.

[815] anything it was just there were all these expressions yeah well it's changing that's good i hope i think so i pray that that's not the words that are some places yeah that's true some places are i always like to think of it as a comet like social change so there's people in the front of the comet or that takes all the heat i have a friend whose uh parents are his dad's white and his mom is black they got married when at the time it was probably illegal in like so many states to even do that right so they're taking the heat they're the heat of the comet you know the black people that move into the white neighborhood or the whatever yeah then it grows and it becomes normal and everybody's like okay we're all traveling along the same place we're all together no heat you know and then there's people on the tail end that are still catching up that aren't quite there yeah so um a couple highlights i want to talk about going on carson and getting invited over that's like that's a very rare experience for a stand -up to have the rarest and it's the thing you've peaked mount everest if you're a stand -up right hitting a lottery or something because overnight people all of a sudden know you in one night right that many people watch that show and yeah there's no other way to describe it it's a light switch i remember getting i had i was working at chicago i lived in l a but i was doing a gig in chicago when i got the call so i had i missed friday night gig in chicago i flew friday day back to la to do the tonight show and then saturday day flew back to chicago to finish my weekend uh -huh and uh i remember going to the airport on saturday hey saw you on the tonight show hey saw you on the night show the gate attendant i want to get on the plane hey good job on the tonight show the so surreal isn't it i flew back on sunday monday 25 something like that william morse agent showed up to see me do a set at the improv oh wow and like you know if you're doing stand -up and somebody comes to see you it's like oh an agent from the thing came so this was the head of the lit department the head of the TV department, the head of the movie department, the head of the commercial department at William Morris, the head, the president of William, like every big heavy hitter from every department showed up, watched me do a set, sat me down on the second floor, the improv up in that upstairs area, in a semi -circle, me in the front, talking about how they wanted to be in the Drew Carey business and what they could do for me. I remember Bud Friedman just like being flabbergasted and like opening a bottle of champagne for me, like, boy, I've never seen anything like that.

[816] The next night, another head of a small, not an agent, the head of the agency, every night that week at the improv, all showing up to watch me do a set and talk to me about what they could do for me and how they wanted to be in the Drew Carey.

[817] I love that idea.

[818] We want to be in the Drew Carey business.

[819] Oh, yeah, it's a very, you're an industry that they want to invest in.

[820] Well, you know what?

[821] You are.

[822] Which you turned out to be, but.

[823] It's hard to wrap your mind around and it's to your detriment if you don't, I think.

[824] I like to tell people this that, you know, one of the, I used to, I still do, read a lot of self -help books.

[825] And one of the early lessons I learned that was really important to me was that you are working for yourself.

[826] It doesn't matter.

[827] This is back when I was like a bus boy and a waiter.

[828] You're selling a set of skills to society.

[829] After I read that, I never thought like, oh, I'm working for this restaurant as a bus boy or as a dishwasher or as a waiter.

[830] No matter what anybody else said in my head, I'm selling my services independently to work in this area.

[831] And I might as well be an independent contractor.

[832] I'm coming in.

[833] I'm making my money of my tips.

[834] Then I'm gone.

[835] You don't own me. I'm not working for.

[836] for you you're not over me i'm just i'm an independent contractor and this is the only skill i have to sell and it's like that in show business you have a skill am i good at this am i a character actor am i uh well that's the tricky thing right is finding out what you have to be you have to know and you have to in show business anyway in life you have to surround yourself with people who won't bullshit you and will tell you exactly what you're strong and what yeah hey you know you're the best friend no but i thought i'd be the romantic leading me, nope, you're the best friend, sorry.

[837] Right.

[838] Okay, let me make a living at best friend then, because those guys make a lot of money to do that, or I can be a funny best, a funny leading guy in a movie.

[839] Like, acting success does require a certain level of hyper honesty where you're just like, okay, I'm this, and I just better get used to it.

[840] Right, which is hard.

[841] It's really hard.

[842] Yeah.

[843] Especially if you see yourself as not that.

[844] Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare the other thing i just recognize about your career and uh and i admire about your career is i think it for me it would have been very easy if i just had the drew carey show and i'm making a ton of money i'm having fun for you to go ahead and decide you know what i actually want to be a part of a group and i'm referring to whose line is it anyways to me it seems like you've you're someone who has prioritized being with people you love or people you really think are funny, like that you, that you've prioritized the process and the group experience.

[845] Honestly, who wouldn't want to hang out with Ryan and Greg Proops and Wayne Brady and Chip Esten, like all the people on that show?

[846] Why would you?

[847] Well, I'll tell you who wouldn't.

[848] Because it happens to many people.

[849] They're like, no, no, I'm a star and I don't need to be around people who are going to potentially be funnier and me at any given moment.

[850] That's not the way to be successful.

[851] Like, I've always wanted to be successful and have it work.

[852] And I knew just from reading and, like, I would study what not to do from people.

[853] I learned a lot of people on shows, like, what not to do, even they were successful.

[854] Because I was like, well, I don't want to end up like that or fail like that.

[855] So let me use best practices.

[856] And the best practice and a thing like that is if everybody's funny and if you're the star, you're going to get a lot of the credit.

[857] Yes.

[858] like by association yeah yeah it's a very smart move but also i would imagine also not a uniquely stand -up thing to like what i'm saying is you got in a stand -up and you that's where you got discovered and that's what got you a show yet then you immediately when you have the option to pick you went towards improv and sketch and all this this group stuff yeah i remember when i first started reading for like going to meetings after i got the tonight show about show like when you're new and all of a sudden you're taking a meeting every week you're taking a meeting with somebody.

[859] I want to be in the back shepherd business.

[860] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[861] So I would get, hey, you're an everyday guy.

[862] And I was really super overweight then.

[863] And they would, like, you'd be a good part of an ensemble.

[864] And I would think to myself, like, I don't want to be an ensemble.

[865] I want to be the star of the show.

[866] Right.

[867] That's natural.

[868] Like, I had a big enough of an ego, and I wanted money, like, really money -driven a lot of it where I was like, no, I wanted the star.

[869] It makes all I want to be the star.

[870] Yeah.

[871] After the night show, I had to deal with Disney television.

[872] It was the untitled Drew Carey project that I got fired from in the middle of those.

[873] in the middle of the LA riots were going on.

[874] Oh, wow.

[875] I remember driving home my last day is when Reginald Denning got pulled out of the truck and I remember watching it on TV in the studio and they're sending everybody home early and I remember this driving home from Disney just white -knuckled like, is anybody gonna like...

[876] Yeah, am I going to come up to an intersection?

[877] Yeah.

[878] With total chaos.

[879] Like, you didn't know where it was.

[880] All the riots came right up to the edge of my neighborhood.

[881] Like, I lived by the rock and roll Ralph's.

[882] Oh, okay.

[883] So I remember a friend of mine on the roof of my apartment building with a. AK -47 yelling at people at the Ralph's.

[884] They were going to burn it down.

[885] Oh, geez.

[886] And there was a bunch of people on the roof like, hey, motherfucker, get away from the roof.

[887] And brandishing is not working AK -47.

[888] Oh, wow.

[889] And threatening these people with gas cans, we're going to burn down that Ralph's.

[890] And the liquor store down the end of the block got looted.

[891] Some guy got shot in front of Hollywood High School.

[892] The appliance store down the street got looted.

[893] We were on the very edge of the thing.

[894] The tornado.

[895] Yeah.

[896] And that was it.

[897] Did that help alleviate your pain from getting fired?

[898] We were like, well, Well, could be worse.

[899] No, I was thinking like, well, like, this is a whole world's ending.

[900] Yeah, but then after I got fired from the Duke Carey project, another friend of mine was doing, John Kevin Ir was doing a show, and I was the best friend in his show.

[901] And I remember, I liked working with him.

[902] It was great, and it was a really good experience.

[903] But I remember in a back man thinking, like, well, fuck, now I'm the best friend.

[904] Always.

[905] Right.

[906] Like, if this show doesn't work, I'll get another show where I'll be the best friend on that show.

[907] Because in the sitcom business, once you get pegged for something, especially back then.

[908] Yeah, and then you get plugged into every other project.

[909] That was it.

[910] And if you were a star of a show and it didn't work, guess what?

[911] You were never again the star of a show.

[912] Right.

[913] You were only the star of a show again if it worked.

[914] It was always a Halmery pass.

[915] It's always.

[916] Yeah.

[917] And, shoo.

[918] I, of course, I'm hosting a game show now.

[919] What's the name of the show?

[920] Spin the wheel on Fox.

[921] It's a preposterously sized wheel.

[922] It's four stories tall.

[923] Wow.

[924] And you can win $23 million on it.

[925] Wow.

[926] But is it actual, do they control the wheel?

[927] Not even like the wheel on your show.

[928] On my show, there is, if you were to practice spinning on it, you could spin it just hard enough to make it go around one revolution exactly and land on the dollar.

[929] Uh -huh.

[930] If you knew the weight of it and you could judge it, like bowling, that's what the spinning the wheel is like.

[931] It's been the same wheel since 75.

[932] Does it get repaired occasionally, I have to imagine?

[933] Like once in a while, but then they have to get it certified or something.

[934] Yeah, they have to spin it like a thousand times and keep track of every number.

[935] Make sure it's not falling.

[936] into a padder or something like that and there was the guys were backstage spinning it there was like three crew guys uh -huh and i was i was there in an off day to meet somebody and i'm just walking around like what's going on these guys are really just they're like we got to spin the wheel and write down all the results for the i was like holy shit that's your whole day and they're like yep and they had like sodas and they were just some guy would spin the wheel a guy would mark it down and then you know take about a sandwich spin the wheel i hope they i hope they were on mushrooms or something that they help out with that.

[937] But no, mine's much more like if you were to choose the option in the casino where you hit the button on the slot machine as opposed to pulling the handle.

[938] You know, it's completely some algorithm that does it randomly.

[939] Yeah, the machine's spinning anyway.

[940] Right.

[941] It's just way too big and it's, it's, it can.

[942] But it is randomized.

[943] It is because there's all this oversight.

[944] But again, I think it's 40 tons.

[945] So there is 80 ,000 pounds taking motion.

[946] So it's like a dealer no deal where they can like, you want to stop spending the wheel you want one more spin of the wheel similar so they'll have some money on the board and in the final act of the show and then they have a family member and they get out let's say they have a million dollars on the board and then this this walk away number comes up like you could bring in now and you're guaranteed you're going to walk with 200 grand and the person in the audience can either hit that or not and then they spin again it might go up to three million dollars and now the walkaway number might be 600 ,000 but their next spin could also be back to zero and they're fucking that's the end of the game so if someone didn't ring in they're going home it's when it doesn't go well as the host it is fucking rough because that's also revealed seconds before i'm like good night thanks for watching so some of these are absolutely heartbreaking and then i got to like throw it to the end of the show it really is isn't it when people like lose horribly yes you go on the ride with him you can't help but get kind of sucked into their ride right price is right i feel bad if somebody plays the game badly i'm not allowed to give him any hints but if somebody like really is like like lost and at sea and I can only help out so much without saying say seven I can't do that right right but you want to walk right up to that line if it was me read me the number I can't do that right I just feel bad for them sometimes yes me too they're nervous they're on TV the first time oh yeah there's so much going on and then certainly on my show like it's actually life changing amounts of money like these people oh my god yeah and people have won it and people have like could have walked with two million dollars and they didn't uh there's like gambling stuff coming into play again oh yeah yeah they used to do let's make a same producer for prices right is let's make a deal okay and uh they used to do let's make a deal in Vegas and they don't anymore because they were at the tropicana uh -huh and uh one of the problems they were having is Wayne would go here's $40 now you can keep that $40 or trade it for what's behind door number two and everybody would go nope I'm keeping this 40 bucks because they can immediately gamble with it because they or they're so broke when they show up right 40 bucks fuck I'm keeping this 40 bucks I'm not getting rid of this 40 bucks they just learned the hard and Wayne could be like you know could be a car could be a trip it's a trip nope I have 40 bucks I'm keeping the 40 bucks and it was like such a chore to get people to trade stuff in that they already had right they weren't it was a geographical hazard way I weren't willing to risk anything really that's really fascinating it'd be fun to do like kind of a sociological experiment where you would you'd set that show all over the world so like if you put them in Paris, maybe they'd be like, oh, no, I got to go for $10 million or nothing, because anything shy of that's not going to affect my life.

[947] I had a meeting with the president of Fremantle last night because the season's about to start again, and Fremantle is the company that licenses prices right to CVA.

[948] And they have shows all over the world.

[949] And I was asking what other shows, like they do, America's Got Talent, and Paris has got talent, Jeremy's got talent, and all they got talent shows, that's their biggest show.

[950] Any countries without talent, did he say?

[951] Hard to get it.

[952] So everybody's got some kind of talent.

[953] But the problem they have with prices.

[954] right is our prizes now are so good it's not just rice errone it's like we have really good amazing trips and great car like it's the prizes are great yeah the other shows can't afford it like they used to be able to like yeah we can give away rice of owning in an area rug or whatever yeah and now they want to do like the American show and like well we can't afford that because our budget's not big enough really so it's hard to syndicate now harder to sell it nationally so how many episodes of that a year do you shoot 190 a hundred and ninety yeah so even if you're making ten bucks an episode you're crushing yeah yeah yeah and how many can you do in a day last year we started doing three show days so we can get a longer summer off the downside is this next season we have 16 three hour days built in which is a really long day 16 three episode days sorry it's a long day right a really long day um wow so 190 episodes a year and you've now been doing it for what i'm just just starting my 13th year 13th year of 12 years under my belt so you've done over 2 ,000 episodes the longest job i've ever had that's a that's a very long job it is oh yeah there's people on the show they've been there like 30 years 35 years 25 years and you know blink an eye when you hear that at this show yeah yeah it's like oh yeah been here forever the audience is whipped into a lather i mean they come to fucking party i've had friends they show up in a lather yes they show up in there's no we don't have a warm up back coming on ahead at a time to get them whipped up.

[955] Well, they'll catch on fire probably.

[956] Yeah, they all come in and the music's pumping and they're like dancing and high -fiving each other and getting their seat and wooing and like, who we made it.

[957] And they're like screaming back and forth.

[958] And so they're pumped up from the minute they walk in.

[959] I've noticed some people are going there like, I don't want to say ironically, but some people are going, they have a whole mission.

[960] Do you know what I'm saying?

[961] They have got like a plan.

[962] Yeah, they want to have the Price is Right experience.

[963] So they're there and they're like, I'm going to go there, I'm going to yell out.

[964] I'm going to...

[965] Well, we might all wear these same shirts.

[966] We're going to wear the same shirt.

[967] If I get called to coming down, I got my dance all planned out.

[968] Right.

[969] What I want to do.

[970] I know I'm going to say hi to.

[971] Yeah, they do have it all planned out.

[972] Does anyone ever try to Andy Kaufman in that moment?

[973] Like, that's their five minutes.

[974] They don't really care about winning the game.

[975] They're just on TV and it's time for them to be Andy Coffman.

[976] One guy bid a million dollars.

[977] Like he bid a million dollars.

[978] On the one bid.

[979] And I go, a million dollars.

[980] He goes, yes.

[981] One million dollars.

[982] And I was like, all right, that's your bid.

[983] I don't argue with them.

[984] Right.

[985] I'm not allowed to because then I would be influencing their decision.

[986] And if that's what they want to do, do you ever hear about the 420 Bob guy?

[987] No. He's really famous.

[988] There was a guy that when Bob was on, he came down and asked him what his bid, and he said, 420 Bob.

[989] And he looked at back at his friends and they all started giggling.

[990] Right.

[991] And then Bob was like, all right, next bid, he can get it.

[992] And then the next guy, next bid, 420 Bob.

[993] Right, like that kind of thing.

[994] I'm saying there are people using the show for performance art. Once in a while.

[995] So this guy decided if he got picked, he was going to make this weed reference.

[996] And that'd be worth more than in anything he could win, basically.

[997] Yeah, and I'll lose a washer and dryer over it.

[998] Sure, sure.

[999] Does the music play, is it practical?

[1000] Do you like, dint, d 'n, is that being played in the studio?

[1001] Is that being played in the studio?

[1002] Yeah, all the sound effects are live.

[1003] Oh, okay.

[1004] Yeah, that's all played live.

[1005] Oh, wow.

[1006] like the audience you obviously watched a million episodes of that show right i did you have to know about the prices right but i didn't know i knew hardly any of the games turns out oh right there's 70 some games right on the 75 games on the show is that the hard part of the show is conducting the games that's the hard part of my show is that there's a very technical aspect to the show if i was just shooting the shit with people it'd be like the easiest thing in the world You have to explain the rules correctly so they know how to play.

[1007] So I have to explain how to play Monopoly to somebody when they're sitting down to play Monopoly and make sure they understand the rules.

[1008] We also don't use free parking or this is the house that uses free parking rule.

[1009] Like make sure they understand what's going on so they can play the game fairly.

[1010] And I can't mess around about that.

[1011] And I always have to, I have to explain it to everybody.

[1012] And I know I have like a little patter to do with every game to make sure that I just get the rules out to them.

[1013] And are those on cards?

[1014] Can you know, or teleprompter?

[1015] No, nothing's on teleprompter.

[1016] Really?

[1017] So you have to know the rules of all 70 games?

[1018] I don't wear an earpiece.

[1019] There's no teleprompter.

[1020] Oh, wow.

[1021] Nothing.

[1022] You're really raw dog in it.

[1023] You're out there free style.

[1024] Yeah, I took an aptitude test, like my third season of the show.

[1025] For no reason.

[1026] A friend of mine told me about it.

[1027] And it's a two -day test, and it'll tell you what your aptitudes and interests are.

[1028] And I'm in like the 97th percentile or something.

[1029] thing i forget what they call it but it's the ability to keep track of a lot of things at the same time oh okay and i think it's because i was a waiter for so long and then a stand -up where you have to be aware of everybody in the audience when the servers are dropping the drink things at the end if there's a bartender making noise or who's walking in or like a light flashing you have to keep track of all kinds of stuff and be funny and know where you're at in your act and know what's coming up next there's a lot of things in your head when you're waiting tables even in my Denny's days, okay, that person needs coffee, let me pick up this order, going to get that like I have a bunch of things in my head going at the same time.

[1030] And on Price is right, okay, okay, I got to make this contestant feel at home, I got to empathize with them, make them feel okay, and make sure I'm in camera too can see me and, you know, pay attention to George talking because I can't hear him because it's so loud.

[1031] But I'm looking at his face to see when he's done and I have to keep track of people in the audience who's yelling out if their friends are there, what they're saying.

[1032] So I'm keeping track of all this stuff at the same time while the show's going on.

[1033] Right.

[1034] And that's not hard for me. It's just the thing I can do.

[1035] Right.

[1036] You know, because I've had so much practice at different jobs and stuff my whole life.

[1037] Was it surreal to step into that environment?

[1038] So surreal.

[1039] You knew implicitly that you were now inhabiting.

[1040] I mean, just, it's striking drag.

[1041] Absolutely.

[1042] Really weird.

[1043] Like, I'll never forget that first day walking out.

[1044] It was like getting hit by a wave of sound.

[1045] Uh -huh.

[1046] Like, I'm surprised I didn't get knocked over.

[1047] It was so loud.

[1048] I could really almost feel like a comic book wave of things coming at me where I was just like, I'm surprised he didn't blow my hair back.

[1049] Right.

[1050] It was so loud and people were, and I was like, oh, my God.

[1051] Like, I rehearsed a bunch of the shows before that.

[1052] And I knew, okay, walk out, stand here.

[1053] Let's do it again and say this to this camera.

[1054] Let's do it one more time.

[1055] Okay, break from a line.

[1056] Like, I would do rehearsals like that.

[1057] And I played it along with full shows, people from the production office.

[1058] But nothing prepares you for that noise and just the energy that's in there.

[1059] It's like amazing.

[1060] Yeah.

[1061] I, for some reason, it was easier for me to digest that I was in a movie and more easy to digest I was like in a TV show than when I would step back off stage from this game show I was in and I would look on the monitors of what it looked like.

[1062] For me, that was the most like, how did I get here in life?

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] That's the first time I ever like really couldn't comprehend.

[1065] I think about that all the time.

[1066] It's weird.

[1067] It's really.

[1068] I don't know why that specific thing for me triggered like, how on earth did you leave Michigan?

[1069] and this is where you're at now.

[1070] It is weird because you grew up in a normalish, you know, no dough, like people not having any expectations of you.

[1071] And all of a sudden you're doing this almost unique thing.

[1072] It's a carnival.

[1073] If it's not unique, it's rare.

[1074] You know, where you're like, oh, there's only a handful of people in the planet who've had this bizarre experience.

[1075] Yeah, this is like really kind of crazy that I get to do this.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] Like one of my driving forces is like, when I got the show finally, a lot of the production people confided to me like oh we thought the show was going to get canceled and we were always we were all worried that we weren't going to have a job I was like really?

[1078] So yeah because we were like auditioning people and having people come in and nobody was working and you know and Bob was gone and we thought oh the show's just not going to work without Bob yeah Bob was the show and then thank God you're here because now we know we have work and the show's going to keep going but there was people like legit worried like oh shit this could be the end of the prices right because they can't find a replacement and nobody's gonna nobody can be bob and i'm not bob at all i'm not saying that but i i think i do a good job hosting the show i don't think they would have let you do 2000 if you're doing a bad job no i also think like oh like bob barker's an icon okay let's get that out of the way knowing that if an icon can leave a show and the show can still keep going then i can leave the show and have the show keep going so i better come in here every day ready to work and ready to do a good job and i never think to myself like I got a job for life I can do what I want I can skate oh that's good because it'd probably be easy that'd be tempting to get a lot of dough and I could really like phone it in phone it in but I can't yeah the show won't work if you're phoning it in yeah the show won't work and they'll just fire me right the brand's bigger than you brand's bigger than anybody right and every year I'm like man they could find somebody younger and hipper and something or whatever direction they want to go in and I wouldn't have anything to say about it.

[1079] Some Dach Shepherd type.

[1080] Yeah, somebody.

[1081] And I'm like, you know, this is it.

[1082] This could be my last year.

[1083] So I might as well enjoy it.

[1084] And that's the attitude I have all the time.

[1085] That's great.

[1086] Well, Drew, I've seen you around town over the years.

[1087] You're always the nicest guy to bump into.

[1088] And again, I know the behind the scenes from Caitlin.

[1089] So it's an unpolished version.

[1090] You really stood up.

[1091] Thank you.

[1092] And I will say again, for the record, when you're ready, and all three of you, if you want to go to Disneyland.

[1093] Yes.

[1094] Let me know.

[1095] You know how to get a hold of me. Yes.

[1096] And just will, arrange a day I'll get a guide we'll eat a club 33 and you'll have the best adult day at Disneyland you ever had we'll watch the fireworks show it's the best one yeah let's do I do I'm so glad I've never outgrown that place or I still yeah when I'll take my kids there and I'm like oh yeah this place still works for me too it's the greatest it is uh Drew you're awesome thanks for coming and uh I worship at the altar of your 2000 episodes may I get to 200 someday I hope so.

[1097] It's a lot of fun, man. Nothing wrong with being a game show.

[1098] It's like doing Coke.

[1099] I mean, it's on.

[1100] Yeah, I never did Coke, but.

[1101] All right, be good.

[1102] Thanks.

[1103] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1104] Listen, I think you owe everyone an apology for being late.

[1105] I think that's how we need to start.

[1106] You were freaked out that my hair wouldn't look good for Ellen, so you insisted that I went and showered and put product in it so that it would dry correctly.

[1107] Yeah.

[1108] And then you were totally neurotic that I would not look yoked and beefy.

[1109] Oh, wow.

[1110] Yoked.

[1111] So you forced me to work out.

[1112] Yeah, I did.

[1113] I said you look skinny and stinky.

[1114] Right.

[1115] And you need to shower and work out.

[1116] And you thought my hair looked bad.

[1117] In reverse order.

[1118] And so she apologizes, wob.

[1119] That's not what happened to add all.

[1120] Stop blaming me for your problems.

[1121] Okay.

[1122] You were late.

[1123] I was late.

[1124] Yeah.

[1125] I was, um, not only did I move it back.

[1126] half hour and then on top of that I was actually 15 minutes late well I'm glad that you're at least acknowledging it yeah it's um it's um it's unbecoming it's unattractive it's undesirable and it's uncouth it's fine it's fine oh um Drew Carey Drew Carey yes hard to make his name longer you know I like to extend the guest's name Drewford just I don't think it can be done I guess I could call him Andrew Carey yeah I never really added a prefix oh before we get into him Let's just talk about this show that we like.

[1127] It's called Cheer.

[1128] Oh, my God.

[1129] On Netflix.

[1130] Yep.

[1131] It's my show.

[1132] It's your show.

[1133] It was a show I made for Monica Padman.

[1134] Yep.

[1135] And it's all about a junior college cheer squad who in the past has been the world.

[1136] What do they call the Grand National?

[1137] I was a little confused because they won National Championship like six times or something.

[1138] But then they won Grand National.

[1139] Yeah, which is the highest score in the competition.

[1140] Oh, so you could win nationals but not have the highest score.

[1141] Well, because there's different categories.

[1142] So, like, there might be at those nationals.

[1143] There might be a all -girls squad category.

[1144] There's a co -ed, which those are -cats.

[1145] Now, there's different categories and, I believe, Grand National.

[1146] It's like an overall.

[1147] Yeah, which is very hard to accomplish.

[1148] I'm loving it.

[1149] You were a little worried I wouldn't enjoy it.

[1150] Yeah.

[1151] It's like when I watched Master of Nunn and I could just relate so much.

[1152] And I thought, is anyone else going to like this?

[1153] or not?

[1154] Is it too esoteric?

[1155] And then everyone loved it and is seemingly the same thing for cheer.

[1156] People like it.

[1157] Oh my gosh, Amy Schumer posted a story today of Jerry.

[1158] Jerry's the best at Matt Talk.

[1159] Remember that was a quote I texted.

[1160] Exactly.

[1161] He's really good at Matt Talk.

[1162] So Jerry I guess they texted each other or something and then she tweeted it and it made me so pleased to think that those two are connected in the world.

[1163] Uh -huh, and that Jerry's getting recognized for his exuberance and fun personality.

[1164] Well, I told you this so I finished the whole thing.

[1165] You're on episode three, I think, right?

[1166] You're halfway through.

[1167] I told you, I'm pins and needles, 56 days to Daytona and I am a wreck.

[1168] Yes, and I am watching this finale and I'm bawling.

[1169] And it's the same.

[1170] It's the same intensity.

[1171] I mean, not the exact same intensity, but the feelings are the same of when I was at state and I was crying.

[1172] You know that story where we won and then I like lost control of my body.

[1173] I couldn't control myself.

[1174] Right.

[1175] And I haven't like had really an experience.

[1176] And any urine?

[1177] Like that.

[1178] I mean, I'm not asking a crazy question, right?

[1179] Because you lost complete control of your faculties.

[1180] I think my urine was intact.

[1181] Were you embarrassed after the fact or no?

[1182] because I don't think you should be.

[1183] I'm just one, I know we knew.

[1184] I wonder if you were like.

[1185] I think maybe a little bit, but everyone's in that state.

[1186] Yeah.

[1187] I mean, not everyone was crying like I was crying, but everyone is in this just immediate, emotional a thousand.

[1188] And you go from like below 10 to a thousand because you're nervous.

[1189] You're so nervous.

[1190] You're uncomfortable.

[1191] Such a specific feeling.

[1192] Can I tell you that's what ecstasy is?

[1193] That's why I'm trying to get you.

[1194] I don't need it.

[1195] ass off.

[1196] And all you got to do is pop a little pill.

[1197] No, thank.

[1198] It won't feel the same.

[1199] It only feels that good because you earned it because you worked so hard and it really does.

[1200] It boils down to two minutes your whole year.

[1201] Two and a half, right?

[1202] Two and a half.

[1203] In their case.

[1204] Oh, I'm correcting you now.

[1205] The student has become the teacher.

[1206] Oh, 56 days to Daytona.

[1207] Maybe they get 15 seconds to get on the man and then 15 seconds to get off.

[1208] Oh, my God.

[1209] The feeling, because when you're, you'll see, when you're, you'll see, when you you get there, but the seconds before, when you're on the mat and you're waiting for the music to start, oh my.

[1210] Oh my God.

[1211] Here's what's great.

[1212] Can I point out something you're not going to like, I want you to acknowledge that when you're watching these NFL documentaries about CTE and the helmet technology, that you're going, this is ridiculous.

[1213] There cannot be a sport where everyone's brain ends up busted at the end of it.

[1214] Sure.

[1215] Right?

[1216] It's so obvious to you on the outside.

[1217] And probably when you hear these football players going like, I don't give a fuck.

[1218] I'm going to do it.

[1219] You're probably like, you guys are being so short -sighted and stupid.

[1220] Now, I'm watching this documentary.

[1221] People are getting concussions left and right.

[1222] I mean, boom, boom, boom.

[1223] One of the gals had five of them.

[1224] They're going to get CTE.

[1225] And I said, this is insane.

[1226] They don't practice with minimally bicycle helmets.

[1227] That weigh all of 14 ounces.

[1228] It would not fuck up your anything.

[1229] Yes, it does.

[1230] Your head's 30 pounds.

[1231] You can throw 14 ounces on it.

[1232] It is so preposterous.

[1233] Anyone that's not you will be able to watch.

[1234] and recognize there's no reason not to practice with a helmet.

[1235] Yes, there is.

[1236] Okay, lots of reasons.

[1237] For one, it ends up being less safe because you will hit your helmet on somebody's arm.

[1238] People are catching you and touching you and touching you.

[1239] And look that you think a helmet is that much harder than your forehead or your occipital bun.

[1240] No, no. They're all hard.

[1241] No, it's just making more space around your head.

[1242] So when you're catching them, you're not normally hitting your head unless something happens.

[1243] You're not normally like hitting your head on someone's chest.

[1244] but if you have a helmet on it, would.

[1245] But let's be clear, as someone who's now an expert from watching this program, they're catching them by the body, not the head.

[1246] If they're catching them by the head, there's been an error.

[1247] I know that.

[1248] That's not what.

[1249] The back spot is catching from behind.

[1250] They're catching under your arms.

[1251] And they are catching your body.

[1252] But your head is here on them.

[1253] I'm not saying put spikes in the armpits.

[1254] I'm saying...

[1255] Your head is here on them.

[1256] Yeah.

[1257] If there's a helmet, you'll hit.

[1258] The helmet's not harder than the back of your head.

[1259] the head doesn't hit yes but if there's extra that will hit it's ever you're so tight you're in the most confined tight spot you don't have room for extra material and also the extra ounces really does make a difference you have to have very specific shoes like we had these specific shoes that were i think four ounces why well you're being bullheaded i'm not worried you're not worried you're not bullheaded you're not helmet headed you're not being you're not prioritizing safety or or the rest of their life so They're choosing it.

[1260] I'm not saying they have to wear it in the competition.

[1261] I know everyone needs their blowout to look good and their hair's got to do a certain thing.

[1262] I'm just saying in practice, just like they've now, you know, in practice, they don't run as much in football.

[1263] They have less contact practices.

[1264] You know, they're making adjustments that are realistic.

[1265] And I'm watching this show, which I love, which I love and I respect all the athletes.

[1266] And I'm going, they're just not doing everything they could do for safety.

[1267] No, look.

[1268] No, they're not.

[1269] They're not.

[1270] I agree with you.

[1271] I would not put Delta in there to get fucking five foot.

[1272] cussions.

[1273] I guess she's never going to feel the feeling, though, I felt.

[1274] Well, there could be one that doesn't have the byproduct of head trauma.

[1275] No. There's many, many sports that don't have the byproduct.

[1276] I never got a concussion in my time.

[1277] It's not a little.

[1278] Well, I guess I'm not sure.

[1279] I'm not sure.

[1280] I'm seeing early signs of CTE because you know what?

[1281] One of them is aggression.

[1282] Then you have it.

[1283] I know I do, but I'm owning it.

[1284] Wakeboard accident, motorcycle accident.

[1285] Oh, my God.

[1286] I'm going to get more and more aggressive.

[1287] I hate you Okay No I know what you're saying Someone on the outside But you are wrong You can't practice with something And then just go to the competition And expect everything to be this To be fine It's not everything changes Do you know why You'll see when you get to episode four or five Do you know why you're not correct Because it's never been tried You're saying you're saying a theory That's never been tested Do you know why you're not correct Why?

[1288] Because you've never done it Right.

[1289] And I have.

[1290] And I know that even if somebody has like a brace on that's almost flesh with their skin, it makes a difference.

[1291] It makes a difference in the way people are catching you.

[1292] It makes a difference in what they have to hold.

[1293] I mean, it makes a difference.

[1294] And everyone will have to adjust.

[1295] No. Yeah.

[1296] So far we haven't had to.

[1297] Send someone out after a career of cheer.

[1298] Four years, five a year, 20 concussions, CT.

[1299] No way.

[1300] You are just like when he's an NFL.

[1301] No, I'm not.

[1302] You are blinded by your love for the sport.

[1303] I'm not.

[1304] I did that.

[1305] And people did get hurt and people like came out and we lost people.

[1306] We had to get alternates and that happened all the time.

[1307] But never because in our experience, never because of concussions and never because of something a helmet could have stopped.

[1308] Okay.

[1309] Lots of torn ACL.

[1310] Lots of tumbling injuries and.

[1311] I'm not worried about people having a limp.

[1312] Well, no, they just can't tumble and then they're out.

[1313] Right.

[1314] They're not on mat.

[1315] Oh, and you're saying, oh, you don't care about that for a future.

[1316] No. Someone can live with a fucking bum knee the rest of their life.

[1317] Well, you know, I ripped my hamstring.

[1318] Right.

[1319] And you're fine.

[1320] You're doing great.

[1321] You're thriving.

[1322] I'm doing okay.

[1323] Have a tight back.

[1324] Jesus.

[1325] Okay.

[1326] Anyway, we love cheer.

[1327] We do.

[1328] It's a great show.

[1329] It really just, it really brought me back.

[1330] And I, I thank Netflix for that.

[1331] Whoever's listening to this.

[1332] Will you vote on this episode of whether you agree with Monica?

[1333] I want to see if I'm off base or if Monica's off base.

[1334] We need some objective outsider.

[1335] No, because I'm an.

[1336] actual expert in this.

[1337] That's what blinds you to it.

[1338] That's the only weird thing about you.

[1339] You cannot see your own blindness.

[1340] Hey.

[1341] What?

[1342] What?

[1343] No, I'm saying you are suffering from being in the forest.

[1344] Can I say this point out the difference?

[1345] If you said to me, people die riding motorcycles, I would go, you're absolutely right.

[1346] It's absolutely dangerous.

[1347] It's absolutely, I wouldn't deny at any point.

[1348] The reality of it.

[1349] I've heard you deny.

[1350] I've heard you say it's not as dangerous as people things.

[1351] MotoGP racing isn't as dangerous actually as F1 where they're in a car.

[1352] Ironically, that's just the data.

[1353] The guy hasn't died in a long time in MotoGP.

[1354] Now, Isle a Man, where they race, two or three guys die every single race.

[1355] Yeah, I hate that.

[1356] You know?

[1357] Okay, but you're not making any changes.

[1358] I'm not in denial of it.

[1359] I think changes would be fantastic to Isle a Man. But you drive a motorcycle, you ride a motorcycle knowing it's more dangerous.

[1360] I don't race on the aisle of man. Okay, but just on the road, is it more dangerous?

[1361] It's dangerous.

[1362] What I do is very dangerous.

[1363] Yeah.

[1364] So you're, I'll say that.

[1365] There's a lot of injuries.

[1366] Right.

[1367] But you don't want it to change in any way.

[1368] But do you want it to change?

[1369] Yes, I was very in favor now.

[1370] Leathers, you can buy leathers that have, they're called an air suit.

[1371] And when you start to crash, it inflates the whole suit so you don't break your bones.

[1372] Now, there are a lot of people that had issues with that because of the added weight, because of once that thing deploys, you lose your, you know, potential ability to control the motorcycle, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1373] I was very in favor of the air suit.

[1374] Well, it's a little different because you're riding recreationally.

[1375] I take it very seriously.

[1376] I know you do.

[1377] You've never been to a track day with me. I know you do.

[1378] When Channing's faster than me, it ruins my whole life and I must be faster.

[1379] Sure, so there's injuries, but I don't think anything should change it.

[1380] I hope everyone gets a concussion.

[1381] Oh, my God.

[1382] And I hope everyone gets CTE.

[1383] Oh, my God, you're the devil.

[1384] Yeah, because you end up, you know, if I have CTE, I'm doing great.

[1385] So all of them should get it.

[1386] Oh, my gosh.

[1387] Oh, my gosh.

[1388] We've got that Crack Shack Update.

[1389] Oh!

[1390] There's an update.

[1391] Rob, do you want to say it?

[1392] Sure.

[1393] Yeah, someone from the Crack Shack family emailed us and said that Crack is a play on cracking an egg and that they're technically a chicken and egg restaurant.

[1394] Rob says egg.

[1395] Oh, I like that.

[1396] that egg.

[1397] That's a Chicago thing.

[1398] Well, we apologize owners and family members of Crack Shack for assuming it was a play on the addictive quality of crack cocaine, otherwise known as Rock.

[1399] I still think people, though, when they see the sign, think that.

[1400] You know, we know their intentions now, which is beautiful, but I still think people think Crack Shack like it's addictive in a good way.

[1401] I think it is so funny that you think I am in the forest about my stuff, but you're not in the forest about your stuff because that's an example right there that you still think that you're right even with the knowledge that you're not.

[1402] Yeah, yeah, I do.

[1403] I think the majority of people when they hear crack shack don't think of cracking an egg, you're right, I stand by that.

[1404] Yeah.

[1405] I'm going to pull some people.

[1406] And I think.

[1407] I'm going to fund a study.

[1408] I think it's a double entendre.

[1409] I do too.

[1410] Yeah, so do I, by the way.

[1411] What do you think?

[1412] Yeah, what do you think?

[1413] Yeah, I do.

[1414] Do you think most people, when they hear crack shack, think, oh, crack in the egg shack?

[1415] I actually, to be honest, when I first heard it, I didn't think it was cracking an egg, but I also did not think of it as crack.

[1416] Crack cocaine.

[1417] You know, in my head, I'm thinking of Joe's Crab Shack, to be honest, when I hear that.

[1418] What if you were thinking of cracked tibia, the most common injury and cheer?

[1419] Oh, I should.

[1420] I should.

[1421] No, I think of Joe's Crab Shack and I think of cracking the crab.

[1422] That's what's happening in my head.

[1423] Oh, that's great.

[1424] And you have a positive association, I would imagine, with that.

[1425] Oh, yeah.

[1426] And a birthday or two there.

[1427] Ooh.

[1428] Well, good.

[1429] Now we know.

[1430] Now we know.

[1431] Now we know.

[1432] Before we get into Drew, but this is connected.

[1433] So much house cleaning.

[1434] Go ahead.

[1435] Oh, my God.

[1436] Because it just, Drew is a game show host.

[1437] And we just watched a game show last night.

[1438] Yes, we did.

[1439] Jeopardy.

[1440] Jeopardy.

[1441] Jeopardy.

[1442] Oh, my.

[1443] And we were.

[1444] Can I?

[1445] Can I roll it out because it's kind of a Mess.

[1446] Well, here's what's great is you knew that I had read the clues for a category.

[1447] Yeah, and I thought that was really cool that you got to do that.

[1448] Me too, like a month ago.

[1449] And I did not even realize while I was reading the category that the whole category was going to be named not an armchair expert.

[1450] I mean, freaking out.

[1451] I didn't realize that.

[1452] So I read all these answers with great stress because there was a lot of multisyllabic words.

[1453] There was some hard pronounced but I got through it and that's all I just put a pin in it I here's the reveals I thought I was on a standard episode then we come to find out we're on the goddamn category of all time episode the prime time 8 p .m. 14 million viewers well so right there we're already at I'm already at like an 11 like how did I end up on that it's such an honor and then to be on the prime time and then the fucking category is not an armchair expert I know Oh, my God, I could not even wrap my head around it.

[1454] Your reaction was so wonderful.

[1455] You were standing.

[1456] Well, like, I really did not, I had no, I didn't know.

[1457] You didn't know.

[1458] I didn't know that's what was going to happen.

[1459] Oh, my God, it's so flattering.

[1460] Oh, what a night.

[1461] Oh, God, what a night.

[1462] Okay, Drew Carey.

[1463] Okay, Drew, another game show host.

[1464] Yes.

[1465] Okay, so he said Cedar Point is exactly between Detroit and Cleveland in Sandusky.

[1466] Okay.

[1467] Okay.

[1468] I was going to guess that it's about 60 miles from Cleveland, and I'm going to guess that it's about a hundred miles from Detroit.

[1469] The exact coordinates of the midpoint are some latitude and lodgment.

[1470] 41 degrees.

[1471] I don't even know how to say these.

[1472] South?

[1473] Does it say?

[1474] No, north.

[1475] 41 degrees, 25, what looks like inches, 24 feet.

[1476] No, feet.

[1477] How do you read coordinates?

[1478] There's three numbers here, okay?

[1479] 41.

[1480] Point.

[1481] 41 degree sign.

[1482] Okay.

[1483] 25 feet sign.

[1484] 24 inches sign, north.

[1485] Okay.

[1486] I think that's just further refining that 41.

[1487] Sure, but I guess what I'm asking is what is the verbiage, how do you say it?

[1488] Because you don't say 41 % and you don't say 25 feet, 24 inches.

[1489] This is just how you write it.

[1490] But I don't know how you say it.

[1491] Yeah, I don't either.

[1492] So, okay, 41, 25, 24 north.

[1493] Great.

[1494] 83, 10, 40, west.

[1495] Okay.

[1496] Okay.

[1497] Okay, great.

[1498] That's the exact coordinates of the midpoint.

[1499] All right.

[1500] Now, the Cedar point coordinates are, whoa, whoa, 41 .4822 % north.

[1501] And I don't have the other two numbers.

[1502] Maybe those were irrelevant.

[1503] 82 .685 % West, it really is almost exactly midpoint.

[1504] Well, as the crow flies, I don't want to anger you, but would you mind if I ask our friend a question?

[1505] Sure.

[1506] Okay.

[1507] Google, how far is Detroit from Cedar Point?

[1508] It's 118 miles to get to Detroit from Cedar Point.

[1509] 118.

[1510] Google, how far is it from Cleveland to Cedar Point?

[1511] It's 61 .8 miles to get to Cedar Point.

[1512] from Cleveland.

[1513] Whoa, whoa, blah, blah, blah, but.

[1514] Oh, can you believe my guess my guess my guess 60 miles?

[1515] It was 61 miles.

[1516] That's incredible.

[1517] My claim was that Cedar Point was way closer to Cleveland.

[1518] It turns out it's half the distance to Cleveland as it is to Detroit.

[1519] Well, what about these coordinates?

[1520] There are minutes, minutes, and seconds.

[1521] Oh, thank you.

[1522] So you've got degrees, minutes, seconds.

[1523] So it is degrees.

[1524] You do say it like that?

[1525] Mm -hmm.

[1526] Okay.

[1527] The percentages are very similar.

[1528] But also I wonder if when you pose a question like that, if it just goes as the crow flies, here's Cleveland, here's Detroit, and they say, boom, straight line.

[1529] The midway point is these coordinates.

[1530] I wonder if they factor in driving.

[1531] You can't just go straight there, so you've got to go down 75 and then you've got to go across.

[1532] Sure, but that's maybe two different questions, driving versus is it literally in the center.

[1533] Well, yeah.

[1534] I mean, the bottom line is Drew is wrong that Cedar Point is halfway between Detroit and Cleveland.

[1535] Driving ones.

[1536] It's one third of the way to Detroit.

[1537] Okay, so he's a Club 33 member.

[1538] Ooh.

[1539] Which is very exclusive.

[1540] Apex of exclusivity.

[1541] Yeah, and I really want that.

[1542] Yeah.

[1543] He said he'll take us, but I want my own membership.

[1544] Oh, you do?

[1545] Yeah.

[1546] How much do you think it costs a year?

[1547] Well, it says here, but this is just on speculation because nobody really knows.

[1548] Oh, right.

[1549] The invite -only membership has a wait list that's been opened and closed over the years due to high demand.

[1550] According to one Club 33 members.

[1551] there is a $25 ,000 to $100 ,000 initiation fee and $12 ,000 to $30 ,000 annual fee depending on the level of membership.

[1552] Oh, God, even when you get in there, there's tears.

[1553] I want the highest tier, $100 ,000, $30 ,000.

[1554] Do you think it's sapphire or platinum or diamond?

[1555] Do you think they've broken it into gemstones over there?

[1556] Maybe, no, it's probably Disney base.

[1557] It's probably like Mickey and then some less or no. Goofy, Donald, Pluto.

[1558] I think Pluto's probably where you enter as a Pluto level.

[1559] Yeah, exactly.

[1560] Is that what Goofy says?

[1561] That sounds like him, yeah.

[1562] The club is a members -only dining experience consisting of the restaurant and a jazz lounge.

[1563] Fuck, a jazz lounge?

[1564] Yeah.

[1565] Now they got me interested.

[1566] I know.

[1567] Members also get access to the 1901 lounge in California Adventure.

[1568] It's also the only place to serve alcohol in the California Park.

[1569] So I'd get my money.

[1570] Oh, you still probably have to pay for the alcohol.

[1571] But, yeah.

[1572] The club was originally designed as a place for Walt Disney to entertain guests and business associates.

[1573] But he died about five months before it was officially open.

[1574] Oh, no. That's sad.

[1575] Oh, toodles.

[1576] So, yeah, you said he'd been doing this for 25 years.

[1577] He went on Carson in 91.

[1578] Okay.

[1579] It's 2020.

[1580] Yeah.

[1581] So almost.

[1582] 29 years.

[1583] Almost 30 years.

[1584] Almost 30 years.

[1585] Good for him.

[1586] Anyone who can find gainful employment and show business for 30 years, that's nearly impossible.

[1587] Yeah, that's true.

[1588] Okay, the movie about happiness is happy.

[1589] It came out in 2011.

[1590] We've talked about that a few times on here, I think.

[1591] He said there's 70 games, 70 -ish games on the show.

[1592] There's a total of 110 pricing games have been played on the show.

[1593] 77 of which are in the current rotation.

[1594] Mm. Hmm.

[1595] I can't imagine juggling that many games.

[1596] I can barely juggle to spin the wheel game.

[1597] Just in the different acts because different things happen in each act.

[1598] That's enough for me, whatever it is, four different kind of ways to play the game.

[1599] I'm tapped out.

[1600] Yeah, that's all.

[1601] Fascinating gentlemen.

[1602] Yeah, very, very.

[1603] He was so nice.

[1604] He's very, very, very kind and very inclusive.

[1605] Very generous asking us to come to Disney.

[1606] Yeah.

[1607] And again, when Caitlin worked with him, she just couldn't have been more positive about how generous he was.

[1608] Yeah.

[1609] I like when you hear that about people.

[1610] Me too.

[1611] Yeah.

[1612] Oh, I love you.

[1613] I love you.

[1614] And I'm going to work on my scheduling.

[1615] Okay.

[1616] I heard you.

[1617] You don't have to.

[1618] I'll try to be better.

[1619] You don't have to.

[1620] All right.

[1621] Love you.

[1622] Thank.

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