MFM Minisode 253

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder, the minisiod.

[2] This is being videoed this minisode.

[3] That's why there's such a strange self -consciousness to the introduction.

[4] That's us.

[5] We know our eyebrows are on video.

[6] Big deal.

[7] Think about it a lot.

[8] Yeah.

[9] I think we have a great eyebrow podcast, like collective eyebrow podcast.

[10] You know what's funny?

[11] I um because sometimes I overdo it with my eyebrows I'm always you know stuck in the like 90s 80s of the huge brow and I often look at your eyebrows and go I need to do my eyebrows more like that because yours always look they look really natural and really well shaped so do yours though oh my god we found common ground once again you want to go first you want me to go first Stone Cold Sober.

[12] I'll go first on this one.

[13] Speak for yourself.

[14] Okay.

[15] Here's a great intro.

[16] Hi, Murderino Collective.

[17] Ooh, I love it.

[18] Love it.

[19] Heard y 'all were in need of some hometowns, so I thought I'd send this in.

[20] Generous.

[21] This story actually happened when I was attending a small women's college, and then it says Stevens College, in parentheses, Stevens College in Columbia, Missouri.

[22] Do you remember when we were doing St. Louis Show?

[23] and I called it Missouri and then the audience booed me. Yes.

[24] Yeah, that was not very generous.

[25] Well, I just wonder, I guess I should stop doing that.

[26] But I wonder what the implication is.

[27] I just think I'm just doing a southern accent.

[28] Yeah, I've heard it called that before.

[29] All right, let us know, guys.

[30] Let us know why I just offended you.

[31] Okay.

[32] We love to dig deep into the things like that.

[33] This story takes place in an apartment building that opened my senior year of college.

[34] Even though the apartment building was nice and brand new, there were some weird things that were going on once I moved in, and then in parentheses, including an underground drug ring that was being run out of one of the rooms.

[35] Oh, cool.

[36] However, my tale revolves around the handyman who worked all around the building.

[37] He was just one of those guys who was always around, and he seemed fairly harmless.

[38] But there was just something a little off about him.

[39] Since he was the handyman, he had the keys to all the girls' rooms in the dorm.

[40] And there were sometimes when he would need to fix things in our rooms while we were off campus.

[41] or in class, and he'd need access.

[42] However, it turns out that the guy was using those spare keys to break in at night and watch girls sleep.

[43] Of course he was.

[44] My best friend swears that she felt him come into her room a couple times while she was sleeping.

[45] I honestly can't remember if he did anything more than just watch girls sleep, but that in and of itself is still pretty fucking unsettling.

[46] Sure is.

[47] Eventually, he was caught and got fired and probably arrested.

[48] I tried to search for more info on this story in order to find out exactly what happened to this guy.

[49] But alas, it happened over 10 years ago and there weren't any news stories that I could find.

[50] Anyways, I hope this wasn't too long.

[51] It wasn't.

[52] Thank you for all the good you do and the light that you bring into this world.

[53] Stay sexy and always buy a deadbolt, I guess.

[54] Yeah.

[55] Lauren.

[56] That's so creepy.

[57] It really is.

[58] What is your, what is the, what are you getting out of watching?

[59] Is it just like a power trip if you're not doing anything but watching?

[60] I mean, that's clearly going to escalate.

[61] That's how those things.

[62] Well, it does feel like it's in the peeping Tom category of it doesn't just that that's not just like, oh, this is a funny thing I used to do.

[63] And then I got into other stuff.

[64] It's like, it usually is the beginnings of bad.

[65] Also, the transgression of a person who doesn't know you're there.

[66] Oh, yeah.

[67] That's power.

[68] You really kind of can't spin that in a positive way.

[69] Absolutely not.

[70] But I'll try.

[71] I think he was a Christian.

[72] He was praying.

[73] for them.

[74] Great job.

[75] You're very, you.

[76] The topic of this episode is generosity.

[77] It's generosity.

[78] You've got it in spades.

[79] What's that, Mugsay?

[80] Oh, it says 12 -foot skeleton fan club.

[81] Brandy Posie of the podcast Lady to Lady gave this to me for my birthday this last year.

[82] Gorgeous.

[83] It's a classic.

[84] It's on video for the fan cult.

[85] Okay.

[86] For the fan coat, you can buy it somewhere else.

[87] All right.

[88] I'm not going to tell you.

[89] Well, who cares?

[90] Waking up to Muddy Footprints.

[91] and a locked door.

[92] Who cares?

[93] You can't.

[94] It's a long spoiler.

[95] Years ago, I woke up one morning to find a jumbled mess of large dirty footprints on my kitchen floor.

[96] This was weird because I lived alone.

[97] And since I was young and had knees that still loved me, I scrubbed my kitchen floor every week in there.

[98] Wow.

[99] Also, the kitchen was where my front door was located.

[100] And weirdest of all, my front door was locked.

[101] Not just locked when I went to bed at night, but still locked.

[102] when I found the footprints.

[103] So, as any reasonable human would do, I hid in my closet and then called my landlord to leave a casual message asking if he'd come in to do some very normal early morning maintenance.

[104] He called me back a minute later and just said in the most bewildered voice, Are you kidding me?

[105] The night before, some Dick Weasel had stolen a car, ditched it in our underground parking garage beneath a clearly residential building and lit it on fire.

[106] I lived on the third floor on the opposite side of the building, which is pretty lucky for me since, here's like two sentences in all caps.

[107] I'd fully slept through a firefighter opening my door, coming inside, calling for me to evacuate, and then assuming the apartment was empty and leaving.

[108] Oh, my God.

[109] That was all caps.

[110] They had thoughtfully relocked my door so no one would steal my shit, which is nice.

[111] Yeah.

[112] Everyone else had to evacuate and go hang out in a local.

[113] church for a few hours.

[114] Well, I just slept, blissfully unaware.

[115] No one was hurt, though several apartments had smoke damage and parts of a few people's cars had melted.

[116] Wouldn't ask, like, that is such a good point that, like, you lit it on fire at night in a residential building where you just know people are sleeping.

[117] You could have, you know, killed 40 to 80 people, depending on the size of that building.

[118] How the hell did you sleep through that, you may ask?

[119] Because I was about as far from the fires I could get.

[120] Smoke never reached my apartment, so my alarms didn't go off.

[121] Also, I slept with my bedroom door closed and multiple white noise sources that were apparently very effective.

[122] Stay sexy and get some sleep.

[123] Brenda.

[124] I feel like the firefighter could have come in and seen if any bedroom doors were closed.

[125] Like, that's just one extra little step, but who knows?

[126] Well, but it is pretty over the top to have the entire place on fire.

[127] And then, and no one is.

[128] And a loud person like yelling, yeah.

[129] But also, I don't know.

[130] How was that front door still locked?

[131] He came in a different way?

[132] Maybe.

[133] Oh, I bet they had the landlord's keys and so we locked it.

[134] Oh, okay.

[135] Right.

[136] That's hilarious.

[137] I know.

[138] Okay.

[139] Whale hi.

[140] Well, hi.

[141] That cat.

[142] Well, hi.

[143] Well, hi.

[144] Look up the well high cat, everyone.

[145] Love y 'all.

[146] Love your show.

[147] Adore your pets.

[148] All the warm feeling.

[149] I grew up in a tiny cabin of a house in Ohio, California.

[150] My father inherited this home from his grandparents and promptly moved his family of six into a one -bedroom home.

[151] Oh, he was a middle school teacher, and my mom stayed home with her four daughters, so despite the town's boozy reputation, we were quite poor.

[152] In 2004, I turned 16, and I badly wanted a car, so I started applying for jobs.

[153] I landed a job at the local coffee shop named Stir Crazy due to my being an independent study and having a fully open schedule.

[154] The shop opened at 6 a .m. meaning the opener needed to be there at 5 .30 a .m. So it was a highly undesirable shift.

[155] With my open schedule, it became the main shift that I worked with no car and no public transportation running so early.

[156] And then it says in parentheses, aka the trolley, look it up, it's cute.

[157] I had to start walking from my house at 5 in the morning to get to work on time.

[158] Looking back, this seems pretty unsafe, as does scheduling a teenager to work entirely by themselves for the first two to three hours of their shift.

[159] Is this legal?

[160] It feels like it should be illegal.

[161] The coffee shop had a large interior layout and a huge, awesome back patio.

[162] Because of this, there were regulars who had come around opening and sit at the shop for hours on end, enjoying the space and the Wi -Fi.

[163] we had a self -serve coffee station so they would pay for their initial cup and then help themselves to all the free refills of drip coffee that they wanted to enjoy one such regular was a man who never spoke a word to me he would usually have the exact change for drip coffee set it on the counter in front of me muster a sheepish half smile and drop some change in the tip jar if he didn't have exact change he would grab the cup's size of drip coffee he wanted wave it in the air and then hand me cash to change out for him most regulars tended to be semi -friendly, introduced themselves and chit -chat with me, so his behavior felt odd and it made me uneasy.

[164] Also, he never interacted with the other regulars in the shop, and he would sit quietly in a corner somewhere.

[165] There was something about his eyes that gave me the creeps.

[166] They were intense, bright blue, and I felt like they were digging into my thoughts.

[167] I dreaded interactions with him and would usually freeze up whenever I saw him walking up to the shop and would be in stunned silence until he left the counter.

[168] My mom volunteered with the Shakespeare Festival every year, and one day she casually mentioned that her acquaintance Ted from the festival mentioned that he was a regular of the shop I worked.

[169] I told her the name doesn't ring a bell.

[170] She half snorted and asked me if I really didn't recognize Buffalo Bill.

[171] It all clicked.

[172] Ted Levine, the actor who played Buffalo Bill and Silence of the Lamb, was a regular at my coffee shop.

[173] He was in the show Monk at the time, so he had short hair and a full mustache, and he looked very different from the only thing I'd seen him in that I would recognize him from.

[174] Those eyes that gave me the creeps at work were the same eyes that had traumatized me from a much too early age watching the silence of the lambs.

[175] My mom mentioned that he is shy and he does not like attention or being recognized.

[176] Him not speaking to me then made sense since he has such a unique voice.

[177] Despite his different appearance, I am sure his voice was a dead giveaway for who he was.

[178] Oh, my fuck.

[179] This is blowing my mind.

[180] It's the best.

[181] So from then on, I somewhat stopped being creeped out by him and would smile when he entered instead of freezing up.

[182] Those eyes never stopped feeling eerie, though.

[183] So if you're a small business owner and can only afford to have one employee on shift, maybe don't schedule teenagers to work early morning or late night shifts entirely by themselves.

[184] They may encounter people who make them feel unsafe, either for legitimate reasons or because of an amazing performance in a fantastic movie.

[185] SSDGM and happy spooop season, Cassie.

[186] Wow.

[187] Holy shit.

[188] Isn't that also what I thought was really funny is my mom used to really like Munk, so it was one of the few TV shows that she would actually watch.

[189] And we watched it and like it took me two years to figure out that that's how I knew Ted Levine because he was the like the captain or detective or whatever on the show.

[190] And I was just like, God, this guy.

[191] I know this guy.

[192] And when I finally looked it up, I was like, holy shit.

[193] Because he looks, you know, it's like he was a young, like in his 20s, and then he was a grown man. He's worked consistently since Silence of the Lambs, but he looks completely different.

[194] It's the same thing for me with Mr. I don't want to hurt your dog.

[195] Like when I see her, I totally forget it's her.

[196] What's her name?

[197] I don't.

[198] You should know this.

[199] Hold on.

[200] That's a tough one, but hold on.

[201] She's in gray's out of me, right?

[202] Yeah.

[203] Brook Smith.

[204] God damn it Brooke Smith played Catherine Martin All right Wait sorry What's happy spooop season Mean Spook season Spooop Do you think it was a misspelling?

[205] I think so Because I don't know What the fuck a spoope is Cassie If you If that's an inside joke Of something that we don't remember Please tell us But Spooky Halloween It's got to be spook Spooke Spoope What's spoope What's a spoof I wish I know I wish I knew.

[206] Well, expect t -shirts of it next year.

[207] All right.

[208] Shit that happens at Fancy Outdoor Mall's story.

[209] Hello, loves of my life.

[210] I sent this in before as a random topic, but now that you've specifically asked for this genre of story, I figured I'd send it again.

[211] No, this didn't happen at a, quote, fancy outdoor mall, but it was one of America's first strip malls and it had a Starbucks, so I'm counting it.

[212] Okay.

[213] It counts.

[214] When I was 16, I worked as the fitting room girl at Marshalls in my hometown.

[215] Nightmare.

[216] Nightmare.

[217] Any of those.

[218] My friend, my cousin Carol used to work at, I think, Ross dressed for less at the fitting rooms.

[219] She had stories of like the most insane shit happening.

[220] Really?

[221] Yes.

[222] Is this true?

[223] Send it in.

[224] I want to hear this shit.

[225] Yeah.

[226] I was a shy and polite teen.

[227] So when the strip mall's much older security man came up to me one evening to tell me my underage tits look great and were sure to increase sales.

[228] I was horrified but not going to say anything about it to anyone.

[229] Hold on.

[230] What's your comeback to that right now?

[231] If that was you.

[232] You go fuck yourself?

[233] Why?

[234] No, I'm just, I think that's the kind of thing where when someone does that to you, it's like, it almost just like shocked you into, you just stand there.

[235] So it's good to have a couple comebacks just waiting like, hold it right there.

[236] I'm going to call the police on you.

[237] Right.

[238] That's another good one.

[239] In reality, if I were hurt and as a teen, I would have, well, it's like, that's what I did.

[240] There was, I worked at a little like market, like local market, my first job in the bakery.

[241] And the butcher shop is across the way from me and it was like these older dudes.

[242] And they were like, come in our office real quick.

[243] And I go in and there's just like plastered all over the walls like porn.

[244] Oh.

[245] And I just like ah ha ha ha and like walked out i know like that's what i know 90s you know what but also what what i was 15 i was 15 so what is the what are you trying to do sir first of all why do you need porn on the walls like yeah what what's wrong also the what's actionable now and they thought it was funny they laughed at my shock but i mean after knowing that like i would never want to go to that meat department again like you couldn't wash your hands enough like porn porn at the grocery store is yeah but no one knew it was like in the private they fucking oh you mean like it was it was in the private like me but your shop office but i mean they knew it's like so you both are into this it's the weirdest thing in the world to me that one guy I didn't go, hey, Hey, dude, what's wrong?

[246] I don't want to look at porn with you guys.

[247] This is creepy.

[248] If you're a grown man and you feel the need to put porn on the wall, you're crying for help.

[249] Or to be fired.

[250] Okay.

[251] Anyways, I was horrified.

[252] I'm not going to say anything about it.

[253] That was until Heather the Marshal's security guard came to my rescue.

[254] Heather was maybe five feet tall and 100 pounds, curly blonde hair and an absolute badass.

[255] She sprinted into the fitting room and said, I saw your face after that guy talked to you.

[256] What did he say?

[257] I told her and with her help, wrote up a complaint to the mall's management and got him fired.

[258] So I never had a deal with his disturbing, quote, compliments again.

[259] A year so later, I had been promoted from fitting room girl to customer service girl when Heather chased a shoplifter out into the parking lot to confront him and call the cops.

[260] Remember we talked about chasing shoplifters?

[261] Yes, that's right.

[262] Much to my horror, I watched from the front of the first.

[263] front window as this tall heavyset man punched her right in the head and she hit the ground.

[264] She was okay, but stopped working security at our store shortly after.

[265] And as far as I know, they never found the guy.

[266] I still can't believe that absolute twat punched a little lady over some last season Tommy Hill figure.

[267] What a douche canoe.

[268] Heather was a tiny, fearsome, totally badass lady and I will never forget how she went after that creepy old man for me and how she'd chase guys twice her size because she wasn't scared of shit.

[269] anyway Heather if you happen to be a murderino you left a lasting impression on me and you are the reason that when creepy men asked me to smile I show them all of my teeth like an angry dog SSDGM K okay I love it just like a compliment of this badass woman who like changed her a little yeah that's very cool although yeah don't I now understand what you mean by meant by don't there's no reason to chase a shoplifter and then take that physical assault for on behalf of the major corporation that you work for it's insane and the but they stole cost nothing to them yes and if you're five feet tall and you're a security guard you should have some kind of a weapon on you like yeah that's not safe unless you dick or something yeah something uh hardcore i never forget i have a similar story of when I was 14 and like hanging out with the wrong crowd like punk rockers and there was this one older girl was this punk with tattoos and shit and we were all sitting in the room probably doing drugs and her boyfriend with like a mohawk hardcore leather wearing spike mohawk dude said something you know sexist to her and she fucking socked him in the face so hard and I was like and I was such a timid little girl you know and then years later I looked her up and she's like a fucking MMA fighter now.

[270] Oh, yeah.

[271] I wrote her and I was like, I just want you to know you.

[272] She's like, I don't even remember that.

[273] I was like, you changed my fucking, like, idea of like what kind of a woman I can be.

[274] It was pretty rad.

[275] Wow.

[276] Nice.

[277] And then you all hit that bong together.

[278] That's right.

[279] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[280] Absolutely.

[281] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[282] Exactly.

[283] Exactly.

[284] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[285] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[286] That's right.

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[288] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[289] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

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[291] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every.

[292] major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[293] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[294] Connect with customers in line and online.

[295] Do retail right with Shopify.

[296] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[297] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[298] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[299] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[300] Goodbye.

[301] I. Here's my last one.

[302] I'm not going to read you the subject line.

[303] This is how it starts.

[304] Hello!

[305] And then it says in parentheses, in the Mrs. Doubtfire voice.

[306] Yay!

[307] Yay!

[308] Longtime listener, first time writer, here it goes.

[309] I was probably around eight or nine, and I was in the passenger seat of my mom's 90s -something Chevy Tahoe.

[310] We were running errands and needed to return some books to the library.

[311] I was thrilled to have the task of returning them, through the drop -off box from the car window.

[312] So fun.

[313] I was one of the smallest in my class, so for me to reach the drop box, I had to basically hang my entire body out of the window.

[314] While I was being super cool and dropping the books in the return, the window started rolling up.

[315] I yelled, Mom, stop.

[316] I'm not done.

[317] But as I yelled, I could see terror and a bit of panic in my mother's eyes.

[318] She started frantically hitting all the buttons on her driver's door.

[319] While the window continued to roll up, I'm yelling frantically.

[320] Mom, mom, stop.

[321] The window does not stop rolling up.

[322] And I'm questioning in my head, what did I do to deserve this?

[323] Is my mom trying to kill me?

[324] While my little body starts to feel the window begin to squish me, my mom is still going at it to every button in sight.

[325] And I'm still screaming, stop, stop, stop.

[326] My mom turns the car off completely.

[327] Yes, yes.

[328] Thinking, quick thinking.

[329] We both take a moment and just stare at each other, letting the trauma.

[330] trauma sink in.

[331] Oh, my God.

[332] But then my mother notices my knee.

[333] Exactly on the window button.

[334] It was me. I was rolling up the window on myself as I was leaning out.

[335] Oh, my God.

[336] Stay sexy and window locks save lives, Alicia.

[337] I immediately thought of like cookie leaning her head out the window in the back, you know, and she's like buckled in, but like, oh my gosh, I didn't even think about it.

[338] she could totally step on the fucking.

[339] Oh, Frank's done that.

[340] Oh, that's right.

[341] Frank has the ability.

[342] It's crazy and he's been like this since I got him.

[343] He can, like, if you're watching an amazing movie, that's exactly when Frank will step on the remote and change the channel.

[344] Like, he has this sense of perfect interference.

[345] And one of the first times he rode in my car and this is when I had that Honda fit.

[346] Yeah.

[347] We were going to the dog park and he had the front seat.

[348] And I'd rolled the windows down for both jobs.

[349] and he got up, he got up, put his head out the window, stepped on the window thing.

[350] Oh, no, this is what he did.

[351] He, it was the opposite of what happened to Alicia.

[352] He got up, stepped on the window, and the window went down.

[353] So I didn't have it down all the way.

[354] He had his, like, feet resting on the half -closed window.

[355] He stepped on it.

[356] It rolled down more, and he started falling out the window.

[357] Oh, my God.

[358] And I had to catch him by the tail and yank him back in.

[359] as the car was going like 30 miles an hour down the street oh my god that's terrifying it was so hilariously like it was like a rube goldberg contraption of how did you just do that and like and it happened super fast so i just had to like free instincts you fucking their dogs and kids try to kill themselves constantly it's your job could not let them insanity this is my last one okay it's called Vince's hometown adventures and babysitting, and it's a little long, but it's not that bad.

[360] Hi.

[361] I was in college and a seasoned babysitter, so word of my kid watching skills landed me a summer job for a family that lived in the forest in Milford, Michigan, which is where it's from.

[362] Before my first day, I met the new family at their home to see if I would be a good fit.

[363] As I knocked on the door, I saw an odd bat -shaped lawn decoration placed in the grass.

[364] And when the dad answered the door, I immediately noticed.

[365] the shirt he was wearing had a picture of a furry brown bat on it.

[366] I was then greeted by a three -year -old, let's call her Maggie, and a smiley mom holding a baby.

[367] Adorable family, even though the mom was also wearing a shirt with bats on it.

[368] So I'm getting the house tour and noticed framed photos of someone's hand holding real bats.

[369] And in the playroom were normal toys in addition to stuffed animals, blocks, etc. that you guessed it, bats.

[370] We were finishing the tour upstairs in the spare bedroom where the dad pointed to a door in the back of the room and wanted me to, quote, never open that door.

[371] I smiled, said okay, and was hired for the summer.

[372] My first morning on the job, the mom said, Maggie, you should take Miss Sarah to the barn to see Moe today.

[373] And since she didn't elaborate, I didn't ask questions because I have Midwest manners.

[374] After breakfast, Maggie begged to see Mo. Trying to get intel from a three -year -old was unsuccessful, so it was still a mystery when And later that day, I took the kids down the path deeper into the forest.

[375] We came to a small clearing where the barn stood.

[376] And as I rolled open the door, Maggie bolted inside and disappeared into the very dark barn.

[377] Struggling to get my eyes to adjust, I walked slowly towards where her little footsteps stopped.

[378] Then suddenly, I saw a pair of beady eyes watching me. And the longest curled fingernails I have ever seen.

[379] I froze, panicked, then realized the face staring at.

[380] me, all caps, was a fucking sloth.

[381] That's right.

[382] That's right.

[383] Not a bat, not a murderer, a goddamn two -toed sloth.

[384] I spent the summer not asking questions, but I did discover why one should quote, never open that door in the spare bedroom.

[385] The little girl eventually told me because it's the addict and the bats will like your hair.

[386] As it turned out, Mo, short for molasses.

[387] Because he's so slow.

[388] Oh, how cute is that?

[389] Was a rescue sloth, but I only discovered this the following summer with a new family of kids in tow when I took them to an exotic creatures exhibit and my old pal Mo was there.

[390] And then it says, I know him.

[391] I know him.

[392] I know him.

[393] I know that.

[394] I know him.

[395] Hey, buddy.

[396] It was there that I learned that the bat people are world -renowned bat conservationists.

[397] They founded the organization for bat conservation and have traveled the planet to educate.

[398] wildlife conservationists about bats and endangerment.

[399] It doesn't mean you need bats in your fucking house, though.

[400] It also doesn't mean you need to wear your own merch.

[401] You know how I feel about that.

[402] It's like in your house casually, constantly.

[403] Hey, we have a guest coming over.

[404] Let's show them what we're all about.

[405] Do do, do, do, do put your shirt on.

[406] They have even made appearances on popular late night talk shows.

[407] Sweet Moe is eventually rehomed and is now living his best life at the Detroit Zoo where unsuspecting babysitters won't find.

[408] find him in dark places.

[409] I'm so proud of you both.

[410] Stay sexy and stay out of the attic, Sarah.

[411] Thank you, Sarah.

[412] That was alarming, yet heartwarming and funny.

[413] Yep.

[414] And fun.

[415] And bats.

[416] It would, like, if you were in a dark barn, because sloths are kind of big.

[417] Yeah.

[418] So it would, I would assume it was a dude with a bad haircut.

[419] Or like an extra child that they forgot to bring into the house.

[420] The child that only sleeps in the barn Yeah, well thanks for listening to you.

[421] I send us any fucking story you feel like at my favorite morning Gmail.

[422] These, sorry, these emails are just getting better by the moment.

[423] Thank you all for trying, pulling out these wonderful stories of child endangerment and sloths and bats.

[424] We love it.

[425] If you think you can do better, send in your story.

[426] If you think you already did better, resend your story because there's a lot of stories in there that we have to go through.

[427] And if you don't think anything at all, then stay sexy.

[428] And don't get murdered.

[429] Goodbye.

[430] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[431] This has been an exactly right production.

[432] Our producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.

[433] Associate producer Alejandra Keck.

[434] Engineer and mixer.

[435] Stephen.

[436] Ray Morris.

[437] Researchers, Jay Elias and Haley Gray.

[438] Send us your hometowns and your fucking hoorays at my favorite murder at gmail .com.

[439] And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at my fave murder.

[440] And for more information about this podcast, our live shows, merch, or to join the fan cult, go to my favorite murder .com.

[441] Rate review and subscribe.