MFM Minisode 381

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder, the minisode.

[2] Hey, how do we do that good?

[3] We're so good at this now.

[4] So satisfying to be good at something after eight years of trying.

[5] Want to go first?

[6] Sure.

[7] Okay.

[8] The subject line of this email is My Ride with a Murderer and an update on Housebars.

[9] And then it says Episode 412 in parentheses.

[10] Hey, all, let's get down to business.

[11] You asked about House bars in Episode 412.

[12] I live in Wisconsin, and right down the road from my family's cabin, is a classic house bar.

[13] Yes, it is in a grandmother's living room, and they do walk out of the kitchen to serve patrons.

[14] It's also the place where they ID'd me to make sure I was 18 and old enough to purchase cigarettes, not to make sure I was 21 and able to drink.

[15] Apparently, the sheriff at the time had a thing about underage smoking, but not so much about underage drinking.

[16] It's a cozy little place and still thriving today.

[17] I mean, don't be afraid to throw in the name of the bar so we can give them some, like, free promotion.

[18] Sure.

[19] We'll call it Grandmother's Living Room.

[20] Okay, I also have a hometown story about how I rode with a murderer more times than I can count.

[21] Years ago, I worked for a large company and the campus was widespread.

[22] Oftentimes, employees leaving would hitch a ride from the security team to their cars.

[23] I regularly talked with the guard on duty when he would take me to my car, and his story rocked our world when it all came crashing down.

[24] He murdered two women within a short period, claiming sexual encounters gone wrong.

[25] What?

[26] Like, it's still murder.

[27] What, why would that be?

[28] He left their bodies in a ditch on the side of the highway.

[29] When the story broke, they didn't have a suspect.

[30] Days later, the cops were closing in, and our security guard mysteriously stopped showing up for work.

[31] He was found and apprehended, and to the best of my knowledge, is still rotting in jail to this day.

[32] The story doesn't end there.

[33] Most of us at the office were creatures of habit and always parked in the same spot.

[34] One employee regularly parked next to him, and days before the women were found, they moved to a different spot because his car reeked of gasoline.

[35] Not only did he take the lives of the women, he doused them in fuel to cover up the smell and drove around with them in his trunk for days.

[36] I can't even count the number of times I sat next to him chatting about the weather right up until the day.

[37] he disappeared.

[38] It still spooks me every time I think about how many of us were alone with him with our guard let down, you know, because he was there to quote unquote protect us.

[39] May his victims rest in peace.

[40] Well, stay sexy and don't blindly trust every person in uniform, but do visit home bars.

[41] Thanks for all you do, and for the joy you bring to so many of us, Haley, she, her.

[42] Haley, oh my God, like the close encounter that you have, I don't think you ever let that, let go of that for the rest of your life.

[43] You're always, how could you?

[44] Yeah.

[45] Like, there's no reason it, it couldn't have been one of them.

[46] It's just.

[47] It's the feeling of then you're racking your brain like, did I ever get a sense?

[48] Was I ignoring it or was I, was there no sense to get, which is even scarier?

[49] I think a lot of the times there's probably no sense to get, you know.

[50] especially with sociopaths who are so good at it.

[51] Yeah, that's their whole, that's what they work on all their lives.

[52] Oh my God, that's terrifying.

[53] Yeah.

[54] All right, here's another scary one.

[55] This is called My Cat Maybe Saved My Life.

[56] Hello, MFFM family, fur babies included.

[57] Your favorite.

[58] As I was listening to some hometown stories, I had a memory surface that I thought you'd like, or maybe not, about how my cat, or really my ex's cat, who really did not like me, might have saved my life.

[59] We adopted this kitten off the street who immediately took a liking to my ex and an immediate dislike to me and everyone else.

[60] She would walk into any room I'd be in just to hiss at me and turn around and walk out.

[61] It's like high school.

[62] Oh my God, growl at visitors and swipe at people's feet as they walked past.

[63] My brother had a cat like this.

[64] Needless to say, we had an understanding.

[65] I'd fill her bowl and stay the fuck away from her.

[66] My ex had taken a job out of town about two and a half hours away, which he was gone Sunday through Friday and just home really on Saturday while I had just become a stay -at -home mom for our then six -month -old.

[67] When he went out of town, I would usually sleep with a huge -ass kitchen knife tucked between the mattress and the bed frame because you never fucking know.

[68] One night after settling my daughter down for the millionth time, I walked back into my bedroom, grabbed my book, and started reading.

[69] That's when this cat comes creeping into the bedroom like she's stalking a mouse, hops on the bed with me, and stands over my legs all without breaking eye contact with my giant bedroom window.

[70] The eyes were the size of dinner plates and I immediately got chills.

[71] I calmly grabbed the knife and my cell phone and who did I call my fucking ex two hours away.

[72] I said, quote, your cat is staring out the window.

[73] I've never seen her eyes this big.

[74] There's either a coyote out there or someone is watching me. End quote.

[75] We both knew who's too far away to do anything, so he told me to stay inside, absolutely, and he would call our friend who lived a couple blocks over to come and check it out.

[76] Within five minutes, I saw headlights pull into the driveway and heard our friend knocking on the door, calling out to me. I opened the door, gave a quick run down to our friend, pointed to the direction of the side of the house where my bedroom window would be, and he started walking over there.

[77] When he got to the corner, he stopped, saw a tall figure standing outside my window, and then we both heard footsteps running away.

[78] I ran inside.

[79] My friend ran after the figure.

[80] So brave.

[81] So brave.

[82] By this time, I'm hysterical.

[83] Not only was there someone outside my window, but this fucker stood there long enough for multiple phone calls to be made and my friend to drive over.

[84] After a few more minutes, my friend comes back to the house and immediately calls 911, finally.

[85] The police came, got statements from me and my friend, who unfortunately lost the creep while chasing him, walked around my house and told me that there were a lot of shoe prints outside my bedroom window.

[86] But that was probably because I lived next to an empty field and suggested that I buy curtains.

[87] No curtains.

[88] No curtains.

[89] Are you kidding me?

[90] I have my curtains drawn most of the day.

[91] That to me feels like countryside or suburbia living where it's like, but we're way out here.

[92] Right.

[93] When I walk by people's house at night that don't have their like curtains drawn for their living room, I like, I feel awkward for them, you know?

[94] Right.

[95] It's just weird.

[96] Needless to say, I begged my friend and his wife to sleep at my place.

[97] And the next morning I took myself, my daughter, and my favorite.

[98] cat to my mom's.

[99] Thanks for reading.

[100] Stay sexy.

[101] And maybe call 911 first, hug a cat and don't get murdered.

[102] Tiffany.

[103] The cat is the reason.

[104] The cat's the reason I love it.

[105] And on top of that, I think the fourth thing on that list should have been and get curtains.

[106] Draw those curtains.

[107] Yeah.

[108] That's what the cop said, suggested I buy curtains.

[109] Buy them.

[110] Like they're not, it's not like, oh, I just didn't really close it.

[111] That's crazy.

[112] They don't have any.

[113] Yeah.

[114] Wow.

[115] Luckily, that turned out that way.

[116] And luckily, it's like the friend so brave that, as we said, but it's like, don't chase some stranger anywhere.

[117] Don't get chase.

[118] No. Because even if you catch him, like, they're going to, what, do what?

[119] Nothing.

[120] Yeah.

[121] They could have anything on them.

[122] They could, anything could be going on.

[123] Like, no, no. Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[124] Absolutely.

[125] And when you say vintage, you mean when you're, physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[126] Exactly.

[127] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

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[129] That's right.

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[137] Connect with customers in line and online.

[138] Do retail right with Shopify.

[139] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[140] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[141] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[142] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[143] Goodbye.

[144] This says Mount St. Helen's eruption and my granny's fuck politeness.

[145] Hey, I'm FM crew.

[146] I listened to the Mount St. Helens' eruption episode, and I thought it was the perfect time to write in and tell you about the aftermath that resulted in my two sweet little grandmas having to fuck politeness.

[147] My grandparents were living in Spokane, Washington at the time of the eruption.

[148] I've heard stories of the darkness that filled the sky and the ash that proceeded to fall for days.

[149] as a little back story my grandma loved collecting pieces of nature my mom often described road trips in our family's RV and my grandma filling the RV with rocks and logs from across the USA logs like anything could be in there I know oh god just like that Lucille ball movie with the trailer being weighed down because she had filled it with rocks that's a great reference that literally is like a century old my grandma was the same way and it is a trait that has been passed on to my mom and myself.

[150] So after the eruption, my grandma was on a mission to collect ash.

[151] Do you remember?

[152] You're too young.

[153] You were born.

[154] But there was a whole thing that happened after Mount St. Helens where, like, you could just get a little commemorative vial of ash.

[155] Yeah.

[156] I have definitely seen something like that before.

[157] Well, I had a Mount St. Helens pen that had ash in it.

[158] Yes.

[159] Who made those?

[160] That's smart.

[161] I feel like either, maybe, someone gave it to us in Portland or someone just gave it to me as a gift, knowing.

[162] But anyway, I love that Mount St. Helens made merch.

[163] Yeah.

[164] Oh, those merch makers have always been out there.

[165] They're like, oh.

[166] Something happened.

[167] Wouldn't you like a little bit of this mountain in a vial?

[168] Okay, so grandma was on a mission to collect ash.

[169] She and my great grandma took to the streets with jars gathering keepsakes from this natural phenomenon.

[170] While on the streets, they were approached by a handsome and well dressed man. He was very charming and began telling them how he had tons of ash he had gathered and that they should come back with him to take some.

[171] Sir.

[172] I mean, it's all here.

[173] Why do we need to have your fucking ash?

[174] There's tons.

[175] My grannies were the sweetest and most angelic people I've ever met.

[176] They saw the best in everyone and were polite to their core.

[177] However, something about this seemed off.

[178] They declined his offer and he continued that it would be no trouble and tried to push them to come with him.

[179] They trusted their gut and made some excuses before scurrying off home.

[180] Sometime later, my grandma's watching the news and is shocked to see the man she encountered on the screen.

[181] The charming gentleman had been Kevin Coe, known as Spokane's South Hill rapist.

[182] What the fuck?

[183] Charged on six counts of rape, he is believed to be responsible for numerous counts of indecent exposure, indecent assaults, and at least 43 rape.

[184] Holy shit.

[185] It was a huge story at the time as he was the son of Gordon Coe, the editor of the Spokane Chronicle, a paper that was in charge of the program to receive tips on the rapists' identity.

[186] To make it even crazier, his mom was later arrested for hiring a hitman to kill her son's prosecutor and judge.

[187] What the...

[188] How have I never heard this fucking story?

[189] It was a terrifying time in Spokane between 1978 and 1981 when so many women feared being attacked.

[190] I'm so happy my sweet grandmas trusted their guts and fucked politeness, stay sexy.

[191] And don't go home with a man if he is offering you jars of volcanic ash, SSTGM, Lindsay.

[192] Wow.

[193] I mean, he went up to two grannies, I'm assuming, during the day.

[194] Like, that's how bold he was.

[195] Yeah.

[196] Like, that's scary.

[197] Well, and if there were total 43, it would be very interesting.

[198] to know where on his chronology that because that is so that's almost like you're at the end where you're just kind of doing whatever and you can't control yourself oh my god eerie yeah uh this is called pennies and then it says got to keep trying fingers crossed it worked hey karen georgia an entire mfm crew i'm a listener from day one and your voices have accompanied me on countless walks providing laughter tears sometimes laughter through tears and strength to get me through some of my most difficult moments.

[199] I remember a while back you asked for grandparent stories, so here it goes.

[200] My grandpa, Ray, who was my mother's father, was quite the man, a tall, kind, and gentle man who loved to be surrounded by his family.

[201] The stories and jokes he would tell were hilarious, and he always had the ability to make everyone feel welcome and included.

[202] In January 2011, my grandpa became very ill, which was extremely out of the ordinary for him because I don't remember him ever being sick, not even a common cold.

[203] He ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer that had spread throughout his body, meaning he didn't have much time left.

[204] During his final days, my mom stayed with him and asked him to give her a sign after he had passed to let us know he was okay.

[205] He told her he would leave pennies and explain that when he and his brother were little, their mother would give them money as a reward for good behavior.

[206] my grandpa's brother received nickels and my grandpa received pennies then he proceeded to explain that he was given pennies rather than nickels because his mother said that pennies were dirty money and that that's what he was given because of his mischievous behavior oh i can't believe this kid did not have a complex anyone from back then absolutely did yeah it says ha ha classic grandpa after my grandpa passed my mom told me to keep an eye out for pennies as that's what my grandpa's sign would be.

[207] I was skeptical and thought she was just trying to console me during this really upsetting time.

[208] I was pretty sure the odds of finding a penny were slim since pennies haven't been part of our Canadian currency in years.

[209] Oh.

[210] Because originally when I read this, I was like, you see pennies all the time, right?

[211] There's literally one over there.

[212] Right.

[213] But not in Canada, I guess.

[214] That makes sense.

[215] That's very compelling.

[216] So that makes a story even better.

[217] Yeah.

[218] about six months later when I was going through a really rough time and getting ready to move into a new apartment on the stairs as I walked into my new place there it was sitting right in the middle of the third step a penny I immediately burst into tears and thanked my grandpa for watching over me over the years I have found more pennies and random places and always during big life events I found one on the morning of my cousin's wedding one of his other granddaughters another one in my car after an accident and in my carry -on bag while packing for a trip.

[219] You get the idea.

[220] It gives me such comfort knowing that my grandpa is still with me, even after all these years, SSDGM, Stephanie, she, her.

[221] Grandpa Ray, coming through.

[222] Oh, that's very sweet.

[223] Okay.

[224] Oh.

[225] The subject line of this email is, I mustash you a question.

[226] It just starts, I'm on the clock, so I'll get right to it.

[227] I work at a creative company on the small but mighty advertising team.

[228] One of our current roles is to write ad copy, though we're not technically copywriters.

[229] Fortunately, one of our co -founders has an amazing background in writing and has so graciously volunteered to help our two -person team out.

[230] This week, while profusely thanking that very busy co -founder for her help, she admitted that reviewing and rewriting a word doc was actually therapeutic for her.

[231] What a weirdo in italics.

[232] I joked that she was going to secretly apply for our open copywriter position, and the three of us had a good laugh about her showing up to the interview with a stick -on mustache and a fake accent.

[233] As we were joking about other disguises, I remembered the light bulb moment I had a few days earlier.

[234] I hadn't shared it with anyone yet, so I had to tell them.

[235] When I was in kindergarten, I had a sweet teacher named Mrs. Hollets.

[236] She was friendly, warm, and probably smelled like freshly baked cookies.

[237] On Halloween, I was so bummed that she was sick and had to send her husband, Mr. Hollitz, in as her replacement that day.

[238] I can still remember his mustache and the news boy Cap he wore.

[239] I was sad Mrs. Hollets didn't get to see my costume, a generic store -bought princess, and was honestly a little scared of her husband.

[240] But the day went by smoothly, and fortunately Mrs. Hollitz was back and better than ever the next day.

[241] What are the chances?

[242] I thought about that Halloween the other day.

[243] no clue why, given that it's April, and how weird it was that the school just let some random husband come in and teach a bunch of costumed five -year -olds.

[244] And only then did I realize that Mr. Hollitz was actually Mrs. Hollets in costume.

[245] It took me over 25 years and the adult understanding of public school security to realize it.

[246] I called my mom yesterday to verify, and she almost laughed me off the phone.

[247] It was a calculated risk.

[248] this story at work, who wants to employ someone that slow?

[249] But I had to share, and I was relieved to see my boss, Katie, laughing hysterically, and our co -founder, Karen, insisted that I share this story with MFM.

[250] And when Karen Kilgariff tells you to send in your hometown, you send in your hometown.

[251] Yep, that creative company I work for is a little place called Exactly Right Media.

[252] You tricked me. Stay sexy and question everything, Mr. Anna Little.

[253] And then it says, P .S., I couldn't find a picture of Mrs. Hollitz or Mr. Hollets.

[254] And then in parentheses, it says, were they even real?

[255] But here is a pick of me from that Halloween for your viewing pleasure.

[256] She's cute, but apparently not super observant.

[257] Look at little animals.

[258] Oh, little princess.

[259] Oh, my God.

[260] That's so funny.

[261] It was so funny.

[262] It was so hilarious.

[263] So I told her to write it in.

[264] Is it you who gets relaxed by reading a word document?

[265] Yeah.

[266] Yeah, you love editing.

[267] I really do.

[268] You're good at it.

[269] It makes me feel better.

[270] It's almost like you're a writer.

[271] That was a twist -a -roo.

[272] I loved every minute of it.

[273] Loved the story.

[274] That was so funny.

[275] Little surprise for it, not only the listener, but for Georgia, too.

[276] Yeah.

[277] When she said that, I was like, you have to write that story in.

[278] But then Anna Little is our, she works in our ad copy department.

[279] She's truly one of the most delightful people and so funny.

[280] And the way she told that story, I was just like, everybody has to hear this story.

[281] It's so good.

[282] It's so good to be, I think she's in her late 20s and she just realized her kindergarten teacher was dressing up as her own husband.

[283] So cute.

[284] I wonder if any of the students knew, you know.

[285] If one of the students knew, then all of the students would know.

[286] Yeah, that's true.

[287] Yes, they would kind of get it and giggle.

[288] But also five -year -olds.

[289] It's pretty young.

[290] I don't know.

[291] Okay.

[292] How about a bad dog and hot dog story in one?

[293] Hell yes.

[294] Okay.

[295] I don't know when this comes out, but we're having, we have hot dog merch real soon.

[296] Summertime hot dog merch that I think people are going to go wild for.

[297] I can love it.

[298] Because literally every staff member is like, I want that hot dog shirt really bad.

[299] Okay.

[300] And me. Dear ladies, when you asked for bad dog stories, I knew I had to tell you about my childhood dog, Boone, an 85 -pound Rhodesian Ridgeback.

[301] sweetest dogs, right?

[302] Yeah, and beautiful.

[303] And then it says, edit, then you asked for hot dog stories, so I decided to resubmit this one.

[304] Boone loved food.

[305] One time, he jumped on the counter and ate a dozen Krispy Kreme original donuts.

[306] Oh, bad boy.

[307] So bad for that dog and also so sad for them.

[308] Yeah.

[309] Oh, my God.

[310] No more.

[311] Totally.

[312] You couldn't have eaten 11 of them, bro?

[313] Like, what the fuck?

[314] Another time he wandered across the street to our neighbors and ate two.

[315] Two raw steaks they had thawing out in their sink.

[316] I just let himself in.

[317] That's a lot of meat.

[318] Yeah.

[319] But this next story is by far my favorite.

[320] I was home alone one day when my dad called and said the workers at the gas station up the street, they knew us and Boone, said Boone was up there.

[321] Not sure how he got out, but I walked up there to retrieve him.

[322] I walked in.

[323] Boone was wagging his tail in that way dogs do when they're happy to see you, but they know they're in trouble.

[324] The gas station worker told me, Boone had jumped up and ate like five hot dogs off the warmer rollers.

[325] I asked him, he needed me to pay for them.

[326] And he just said, no, it was time to dump them and clean the rollers anyway, which means like, oh, you better.

[327] Your dog's about to have a...

[328] Yeah, they've been on there for three months.

[329] Oh, my God.

[330] I thanked him for letting us know Boone was up there, clipped his leash on, and drug him home.

[331] Drug him home.

[332] I love that.

[333] On the way home, we passed some neighbors.

[334] didn't know having a barbecue on their front porch.

[335] They yelled, hey, it's Boone.

[336] Does Boone want to come over for a hot dog?

[337] I yelled back, no, Boone just had some hot dogs and he's in trouble.

[338] Apparently, Boone would gallivant around the neighborhood looking for handouts.

[339] During Boone's last days, he refused to eat anything except a McDonald's hamburger.

[340] We bought him one every day.

[341] Oh.

[342] Stay sexy and eat a hot dog for Boone.

[343] Crystal, she, her.

[344] Oh, I think my dog George was half Rhodesian Ridge back.

[345] That totally reminded me of George to like, you're in trouble, but you're still wagging your tail.

[346] Yes.

[347] And also eating, well, climbing fences.

[348] I don't know how Boone got out, but George would literally climb an eight -foot fence, get out of the backyard and then just wander around my old neighborhood, which everybody hated me. It's like you don't want to upset the animal people.

[349] You don't want to come off like some asshole that just, is like, well, whatever, my dog got out.

[350] What's the dog out all the time?

[351] Yeah.

[352] Like one time I went, it was twice when I was working at baskets and I had to leave, leave work and come and get her.

[353] And the guy, when I went to pick her up at this house, the guy was, like the dad or husband of the family was sitting on the front steps, just like staring at me like he hated my guts where I was just like, sorry this has affected you so badly, you fucking asshole.

[354] Like, I did, I don't want her.

[355] to do this.

[356] I left work to come get her.

[357] This is not acceptable behavior.

[358] And I've also checked every fence.

[359] Like, I've done all these things.

[360] That was the one where my neighbor Rick finally goes, I would have never believed it if I didn't see it myself.

[361] But I watched her come up over this fence, do a front flop into the hedge and walk away.

[362] He's like, I know how she's getting out.

[363] Because he kept helping me, like, put things up and horrible.

[364] Oh, my God.

[365] Well, write your stories in.

[366] guys at my favoritemurder .com, whatever it may be.

[367] Yeah, we love to hear snippets of your life, stories of your grandma, anything related to hot dogs.

[368] Maybe you have any stories of disguises.

[369] Oh, disguises that actually worked.

[370] Yeah, disguises that worked or how they miserably failed, either one.

[371] Yeah, right.

[372] Yeah.

[373] And also, stay sexy.

[374] And don't get murdered.

[375] Goodbye.

[376] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[377] This has been an exactly right production.

[378] Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

[379] Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[380] This episode was mixed by Leanna Squalachie.

[381] Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[382] And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[383] Goodbye.