#1142 - Tony Rock

[0] four, three, two, one.

[1] Boom, Tony Rock.

[2] We're live.

[3] That's a bold choice in shirts, sir.

[4] I like that.

[5] Thank you.

[6] I think it brings out my skin tone.

[7] It brings out, it's got a pop to it.

[8] Yeah, and I, you know, I rock it with the shades on, so I'm driving with windows open, and girls are looking like, who's that guy, so.

[9] Yeah, and you're an Android guy.

[10] You're a different kind of person.

[11] Android people are different kinds of people.

[12] What kind of people are, my?

[13] Well, the people that, like, think about it.

[14] Like, I don't know about this.

[15] You know?

[16] Everybody's like, I need an iPhone.

[17] you're an iPhone Android people be like I'm not so sure I think I could rock a pixel Yeah this this takes great pictures It's very easy to figure out So I don't know I've never been an iPhone guy It's a choice that people make They just decide it's a nonconformist choice Did I take the blue pill or the red pill?

[18] That's a good question I think they're both look It's no denying iPhones are badass But it's no denying those are basically Just as badass they're just different Yeah everything's just different now Exactly It's caught up You go with what you like man Yeah, it used to be like if you had a BlackBerry and somebody else on an iPhone, you felt like a loser.

[19] Yeah.

[20] You felt like a loser with your stupid buttons.

[21] Oh, back when people had the phones that you could just zap your number.

[22] And you didn't have one, you would just ass out.

[23] That's right.

[24] Remember, everybody had like a little laptop.

[25] It was like, hey, send me your number.

[26] You were just scanning their phone.

[27] What was that thing called again?

[28] A side something or another?

[29] What was that called?

[30] What was it called?

[31] The Sidekick, was it?

[32] What was it called?

[33] No, that was a Suzuki.

[34] That was the original drug dealer car right there.

[35] You sold weed.

[36] You bought a Suzuki sidekick you with a man. Tony Rock, I'm so happy that you agree that the fanny pack is back.

[37] The fanny pack is back.

[38] It is back.

[39] It's a little more stylish fanny pack now.

[40] People are wearing it over the shoulder.

[41] That's a coward's way out.

[42] That's a coward's way out.

[43] You still want it on the stomach.

[44] You rock it right in front of you.

[45] That's where it's most convenient.

[46] Listen, boys, you don't have to be trying to get laid all the time.

[47] Relax.

[48] You want soccer dad look.

[49] You just want the convenience of having that bag right there.

[50] Why can't I?

[51] Leather?

[52] I don't have to carry.

[53] You want leather?

[54] Fuck yeah.

[55] You want a name like Fendi or Gucci cross?

[56] No, I don't need that.

[57] I got this right here, bro.

[58] Oh, wow.

[59] That's nice, right?

[60] Yeah, that's very, uh...

[61] That's nice.

[62] That's very naked and afraidish.

[63] You can keep this shit on you.

[64] It doesn't feel uncomfortable.

[65] You got your keys, you got your phone.

[66] You don't think about shit.

[67] I got keys, phone wallet in my pocket, I'm good.

[68] People are tired of hearing about this.

[69] But I'm telling you, it's the way to go.

[70] The fanny pack is back.

[71] I got one that I wear when I run.

[72] Oh, so you have more than one?

[73] Yeah.

[74] I got a neoprene one.

[75] You have the running fanny pat?

[76] Yeah, dude, it's nice.

[77] You slip your phone in there, get your little headsets on.

[78] You can cheat with your music.

[79] Jamie, I've been cheating.

[80] I cheat when I run now.

[81] I listen to music.

[82] It's better.

[83] You guys were all right.

[84] How's that cheating?

[85] I used to say that if you ran, running, especially running hills, is difficult.

[86] Right.

[87] So you should do it with no music.

[88] You should be like, just zone out.

[89] Just zone out.

[90] Just fucking do the work.

[91] But then I get it a couple times with music.

[92] I'm like, this is way better.

[93] Yeah.

[94] I think you're supposed to, you're supposed to hear a little.

[95] you know something to get you going yeah it's way better it's way better treadmill you get on treadmill just music go yeah you just got to hear as long as it's not too loud the thing about running the mountains is like what if someone's screaming for help and you know you're running by it's the eye of the tiger if they're already in the mountains and they need they need help there's nothing you can do already this laurel canyon you know what if you're just running up the canyon like to be a good person should be aware they need help they need you to help them take an Instagram picture.

[96] Probably.

[97] If they're in Laurel Canyon.

[98] Right.

[99] Half of the people there are just like, I want to get a good shot.

[100] I know.

[101] How many people hike just to get a good shot at the top?

[102] It's a good Instagram photo.

[103] A lot.

[104] You can get a lot of likes.

[105] Yeah.

[106] That's what they go for.

[107] They go for the likes.

[108] Hey, it's some sort of commodity.

[109] It seems to be, right?

[110] If you're a girl with a nice body, a bunch of likes, seems to translate into hosting parties for some reason.

[111] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[112] You only have to have a certain amount.

[113] Yeah, you go to a club and it's hosted tonight, by like who is the fuck is this girl well it's the minimalist approach right it's like not only is it not she doesn't display a talent but you also don't even hear her talk right you just see the pictures but just that enough is enough that people are going to want to go see it takes less and less and less and less to be a celebrity these days that's a strange one though isn't it to be considered a celebrity yeah that's a what's one of the weirder ones one of the weirder ones is getting down to just being famous for photographs Yeah.

[114] They call them Instagram models.

[115] So there's an Instagram modeling agency.

[116] But here's the thing.

[117] Am I a hater for saying that?

[118] Because I like to look at them.

[119] Oh, no. Yeah, exactly.

[120] So why would I be upset?

[121] I appreciate it.

[122] Ever at someone who's making something that I like to look at.

[123] Right?

[124] There you go.

[125] I'm not mad at all.

[126] Isn't that weird?

[127] People would be like, fuck these Instagram holes.

[128] They're big asses.

[129] Okay.

[130] But don't you want to see those pictures?

[131] I love to see the pictures.

[132] And I think those are the guys that they're not fucking that are saying that, you know.

[133] We're all hypocrites.

[134] That's just nature, right?

[135] It's the way of the world, the way of the land.

[136] Yeah, that is, right?

[137] And Instagram's just, it's just such a fascinating thing that people can just show you little images of their world.

[138] Hey, this is me at the grocery store with my dog.

[139] And make their world look way more interesting than it really is.

[140] Yeah, man. Really more interesting.

[141] You know, make it look like they're really in vacationing all the time and they handle these clothes and they go to the best parties.

[142] and you meet them and they live in Studio City with four roommates in a studio apartment.

[143] Yeah, we all want everybody to think that we're doing better than we are, right?

[144] Why is that?

[145] I don't know, because if people think you're doing better, then it makes you feel better because they treat you like you're doing.

[146] They treat you like you're at the level that you're fictitiously portraying.

[147] Right, right.

[148] You know what I mean?

[149] So you get better treatment based on a life you don't really live.

[150] Right.

[151] So if you become Insta Famous, like, what do you get out of that?

[152] You could make a living out for that.

[153] Yeah.

[154] See, comics doing it all the time?

[155] Yeah, there's a -comics are...

[156] Kyle Dunnigan.

[157] Dude, Carl Dunnigan blew up because of those little videos that he puts up on his...

[158] You ever see those?

[159] No. Fucking hilarious.

[160] Kyle's my man, too.

[161] I've done a couple years.

[162] Kyle does face swaps with Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump.

[163] You've never seen it?

[164] No, no. Oh, my God.

[165] Oh, my God.

[166] Oh, my God.

[167] Please go back to the one where Bruce is.

[168] telling them he's pregnant see if you see if he could find that one dude he's genius really he does Bruce I know Kyle for so long dude it is the funniest page on the internet I'm not bullshit Kyle Donegan's Instagram page is the funniest page in the internet okay that's saying a lot dude I swear to God I cry I have yet to see a really well I've seen a few but then they they kind of just fizzle out I cry so show the one with the Kim Kardashian and the washing machine the dishwasher or the The clothes washing machine.

[169] The one where she's lost in the house?

[170] Dude.

[171] Here it goes.

[172] The buildup.

[173] I have an emergency.

[174] Where is it?

[175] What is it, Cam?

[176] I'm lost in my house.

[177] Oh, shit.

[178] Look at your surroundings.

[179] What do you see?

[180] There's this white box.

[181] What is that white box?

[182] I don't know.

[183] I put North inside three states.

[184] Oh, you're such a great mom.

[185] Yeah.

[186] Thank you.

[187] All right.

[188] Let me get Kanye on the phone.

[189] He's a gym.

[190] Yeah, call Kanye.

[191] Hello.

[192] Hey, Kanye, Kim's lost again.

[193] Do you know what that white box is behind her?

[194] It looks like R2D2.

[195] You don't know my girl's lost in space, bam.

[196] But I didn't get into a rock ass.

[197] Quiet bitch, it's a genius at work.

[198] Yeah, Kim, shut the fuck up.

[199] Go to the Rock.

[200] You're a genius.

[201] Now program R2T2, he'll save you from outer space, bam.

[202] Help me our teeth, so.

[203] You're my only dog.

[204] Yeah, that's a fat beat, Connie.

[205] Yeah.

[206] He's got a shit Spank Yeah This shit is so silly He's so silly He's so silly He's talking to Donald Trump He's got a shitload of him man You gotta go to his page I gotta follow His all of his pick There's nothing like a regular person On his page Right There's nothing like Here's me at the movies There's no pictures of his food Right Good Yeah look at the sunset No there's none of that shit His page is basically Like a channel Oh shit, he's at 304 ,000 He deserves it He had like Shout out Kyle Dunnigan man He deserves it I'm telling you This is the funniest page on the internet I gotta follow it Oh my god It kills me It's such an interesting Some people use it right Some people use Instagram correctly Oh he's he's nailing it But more importantly This is like a new thing Like he's able to put his Like his use his mouth And use other people's faces For the first time Like when has anybody ever been able to do that Without some great giant studio behind you?

[207] the fact that he can do all this shit on his phone impressive this is a new feature you can do it on your phone you can download that no no I know you can do it but I'm saying that now it opens up this whole new kind of comedy right that's a new kind of comedy I love it I love it I mean we know he's not those people but he's doing those people it's like an ultra hilarious impression it's it's his own SNL on his phone you got to see him do Bill Maher find the Bill Maher one his Bill Maher one is fucking genius he sounds exactly like Bill Maher And then he's got Bill Maher's face.

[208] Shit is so funny, man. He's so good.

[209] This is just like a new thing.

[210] I love it.

[211] People get this new opportunity to do shit on.

[212] You know, the Internet is so interesting in that way.

[213] Just some new thing opens up and some comic goes, oh, look at this.

[214] Myspace was that, Twitter was that, Facebook was that.

[215] Well, I had seen people do like little things.

[216] Here it is.

[217] Look at this.

[218] Here's...

[219] Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat in the fiddle, the cat jumped over.

[220] Oh, really?

[221] A cow jumped over the moon.

[222] It took NASA astronauts going 17 ,000 miles an hour a week to get to the moon.

[223] This is bullshit.

[224] A cow couldn't jump over one of you stupid idiots during nappy time.

[225] Okay?

[226] Oh, you're crying now?

[227] I'm on page two.

[228] Buckle up, assholes.

[229] How good is that impression?

[230] Come on, man. That impression is fucking genius.

[231] Oh, that was great.

[232] That was great.

[233] He's so good, dude.

[234] That was great.

[235] And it's the face swat.

[236] thing makes it a hundred times better like that shit would be funny on its own but with him doing that face swap it's just a different thing i have to follow kyle yeah you're following him right now on live on the podcast ladies gentleman he's following kyle done again kyle done again one tony rock i think you are one of the comics in this world that does not get the credit that you deserve you are one of those guys i thank you and i agree i think you're one of the funniest guys alive I really do.

[237] I think you and I agree.

[238] I watched you do a set.

[239] I guess it was last month.

[240] How long ago was last time?

[241] We did Tripoli's show with the store, right?

[242] How long ago was that?

[243] About two months maybe.

[244] Something like that.

[245] Dude, you're funny as fuck.

[246] You're funny as fuck.

[247] It's fun to watch.

[248] You got a lot of energy too, man. You're powerful.

[249] Thank you, brother.

[250] That was a thing like a couple guys after your set were like, who.

[251] There was some heavy hitters on that one that night.

[252] That was a fun show.

[253] Was Billy on that one?

[254] Bill Burr on that one?

[255] I don't remember.

[256] I mean, he's been on a bunch of them.

[257] Tripoli throws some amazing shows.

[258] Tripoli and I did, we did Montreal New Faces together.

[259] Oh, really?

[260] Every time I see Tripp, I'm like, hey, you know we're linked forever, man. We did new faces together.

[261] Wow.

[262] New faces.

[263] Dude, I remember those days.

[264] Days of Hope.

[265] Me, Tripp.

[266] Corey Holcomb.

[267] Oh, shit.

[268] Mike Young.

[269] Same year.

[270] It was a great class.

[271] Joey Diaz speaks very highly of Corey Holcomb.

[272] Correa Hill was super funny.

[273] Yeah, Joey.

[274] Joey Diaz loves that guy.

[275] Joey Diaz, I will always love because Joey Diaz shot the movie Longest Yard with my brother.

[276] And he says, he sees me at the comedy store, hey, man, day one.

[277] You know, I don't waste no time.

[278] I see your brother day one.

[279] I'm like, why the fuck is your brother not in this movie?

[280] He can throw a fucking football.

[281] He can run faster than you.

[282] I'm like, Joey Diaz, I will love you forever, man. I fucking love you.

[283] This is bullshit.

[284] Joey Diaz does not play games.

[285] There will be no injustice.

[286] around Joey Dia.

[287] You're a skinny guy.

[288] Go eat a sandwich.

[289] He gets so mad about shit.

[290] Whatever I'm around him, sometimes we get too high, and I just don't want to get him mad about anything.

[291] I never know what to say, what not to say.

[292] You could mention the wrong band or the wrong food or the wrong clothes.

[293] He's gone.

[294] And you're just getting a beat down.

[295] He put the switch.

[296] He just explodes.

[297] You got to know days when he's actually dangerous.

[298] You got to catch him after jujitsu.

[299] Joey does jujitsu.

[300] Wow.

[301] All the time, man. Really?

[302] Yeah.

[303] He's lost a ton of weight, too.

[304] Joey's down, I think, I got to say, more than 50 pounds.

[305] Oh, I haven't seen him in a while.

[306] I gotta, I want to know, I want to know how much he's lost.

[307] He's lost quite a bit of weight.

[308] And he's going to Jiu -Jitsu on a regular basis.

[309] Yeah, he gets into it.

[310] He's doing moitai now, too.

[311] He's doing kickboxing classes.

[312] Joey Diaz is doing kickboxing.

[313] Joey Diaz gets down.

[314] And I didn't want to make it seem like it was so shocking when Joey watching.

[315] It's shocking to everybody.

[316] We know, you know.

[317] He used to be a lot bigger, man. But he's, uh, he's become much more disciplined.

[318] You know, he's really, uh, really disciplined in his diet.

[319] No, no women, no woman in his life?

[320] No, no. Health scare?

[321] No, he had a kid.

[322] He had a kid a few years back, and that started the shift.

[323] That'll do it.

[324] And then he's just been, he's also just been more aware, you know, as you get older.

[325] Like, you really do have to take care of your body, or it's going to fail.

[326] And it might fail even if you take care of it.

[327] You know, it's just like you're hedging your bets.

[328] At least you're making it stronger.

[329] True.

[330] You know, it's just, you've got to watch all the warning signs, you know.

[331] Obviously, a lot of excess weight is a giant warning sign.

[332] Especially for comics.

[333] It's like we just.

[334] don't sleep and there's a lot of drinking there's late nights and there's the travel and the stresses dude as you get older too that don't sleep and shit just does not fly your body's like fuck you man we'll get sick your body's like I'm going to sleep you can do whatever you want I'm fucking I will give you a cold I will give you a cold and then you'll have to lie down you fuck I give you a fucking three day migraine it's a weird thing right that balance that you have to have like the moment someone figures out something that you could do where you don't ever need sleep.

[335] We're going to have a weird world.

[336] It's coming.

[337] It's coming.

[338] You think?

[339] Some kind of pill or something will come in.

[340] Probably, right?

[341] I mean, if they have pills that make you go to sleep, why wouldn't they have pills?

[342] They just figure out, oh, well, this just counteracts all the biochemical responses that your brain creates when it needs sleep.

[343] This way, you can go through your whole day.

[344] It'll trick your whole day.

[345] In the meantime, we've actually found through independent studies that it improves your recovery.

[346] You actually live better But Chris Ryan just posted some shit Yesterday that I retweeted About how they were Doctors and scientists were encouraging women to breastfeed And they were going to do it nationally But it got sideswiped by the formula industry It was a terribly disturbing shit I believe that 100 % Because there's always the other side Where we're going to not make money If this thing gets through but that one right there that is terrible that's a terrible it is that's you're you're deciding to give babies less nutrition you're making a decision for profit profit over baby's nutrition you're lying to moms it's like big tobacco is big tobacco is you know yeah but at least big tobacco isn't targeting babies and i know it's there's no like there's no supporting big tobacco these you know how many people have died from fucking cigarettes right Imagine if that was from something else.

[347] It's many other product, like Diet Coke.

[348] We have Diet Coke just killing people left and right.

[349] Which it is?

[350] Do you think it is?

[351] Of course.

[352] I'm not sure about that.

[353] I'm not sure.

[354] It's not killing people like cigarettes, but...

[355] I think it's not good for you.

[356] But as far as anyone ever get, like, cigarette it out from Diet Coke.

[357] Yeah, nobody's doing commercials with the thing in the next thing and I drank too much Diet Coke, but...

[358] But if you, I guess if you drink it all day...

[359] So does not good for you.

[360] No, all the chemicals in it and all the different things and all that caffeine.

[361] If you drank them nothing but Diet Coke's all the day, like 15, 20 a day.

[362] Didn't you see it was like a YouTube video where they put stuff in Coca -Cola and how the Coke just dissolves it?

[363] Destroyes it.

[364] They put like a brick and a Coca -Cola and it just dissolves the brick.

[365] But it tastes good, dude.

[366] Yeah, I used to drink Mountain Dew like it was no tomorrow.

[367] If you got a fat, juicy cheeseburger and a doctor pepper, a cold Dr. Pepper on ice, oh my goodness.

[368] It tastes so good.

[369] Why is it the things that?

[370] taste good is so bad for you.

[371] Most things that are bad for you.

[372] Yeah.

[373] Most things are just, that's the...

[374] But that's like so many things in life.

[375] That's how they get you.

[376] That's how they get you.

[377] That's how they get you.

[378] That's how life gets you.

[379] A Snickers is delicious.

[380] Yeah.

[381] Way too much sugar.

[382] Yeah.

[383] How much will you indulge that part of your brain?

[384] How much will you let that part of your brain run your life?

[385] That's the thing you have to control that part of your brain.

[386] Self -discipline.

[387] Yeah.

[388] But God damn, man, if you're in front of an ice cream Sunday, you're just looking at that thing.

[389] You're like, oh.

[390] That's the saying right this.

[391] Self -discipline, but God damn.

[392] It's the hardest thing in the world.

[393] If it's in front of me eight times out of town, I just go, fuck it.

[394] I just do good most of the time.

[395] We're talking food or just bad stuff in general?

[396] Mostly.

[397] Bad stuff that's good for you.

[398] Delicious food.

[399] Like, if I'm holding strong on my diet and someone pushing some lasagna in front of me, and I'm like, oh my God.

[400] Yeah, I try to do no dairy until I get off a plane in New York City.

[401] And I'm like, there's no way I'm not having a whole pizza from Fulton Street.

[402] Yeah.

[403] Do you count pizza as dairy because of the dough?

[404] Yeah, all of the cheese.

[405] Right.

[406] Yeah, that's right.

[407] The cheese.

[408] Yeah, dairy's a weird one of the people, right?

[409] Yeah.

[410] They say that you, if you eat that raw cheese, that your body has a much easier time digesting it.

[411] Raw cheese?

[412] Yeah, man. They have raw milk cheese.

[413] The cheese it's made with raw milk as opposed to cheese it's made with homogenized and pasteurized milk.

[414] I had this friend who was a surgeon from France, really smart guy.

[415] Okay.

[416] And he was explaining this to me once, and he had to smuggle cheese over from Europe to America, and they were terrified.

[417] They were going to get caught.

[418] This guy's a cancer surgeon.

[419] Because the cheese is just so much pure.

[420] Yeah, because it's illegal to have over here.

[421] Because they want you to have the bad stuff here.

[422] Well, they want it to be safe.

[423] See, there's no bad guy here.

[424] It's kind of like a double bad guy because what they're trying to do is prevent diseases.

[425] They want milk to be able to stay in the shelf because, like, all of our surplus and all this stuff that we have in terms of, like, grain and food and stuff like that.

[426] like if we didn't have it and something went wrong it would be kind of sketchy and that's what happened somewhere around world war two that's why we created all this stuff in the first place right that's where things started getting like really weird in terms of stacking things up and surpluses and but milk can't stay raw on a shelf very long man right you would lose so much money because things get transported and if it's milk it's got to be local it's got to be pretty fresh but damn if you can get it, if you can get it from like a real good, like, Whole Foods market or one of those sprouts sometimes has raw milk, does it taste better?

[427] Well, Whole Foods noun has stuff that's like just as normal as Ralph's.

[428] Yeah, yeah.

[429] It's like Whole Foods, the myth has been, you know, exposed.

[430] Well, it's, well, the other places like Ralphs and Vons, they're becoming more, like, diverse with their food choices.

[431] Right, they're trying to compete in Whole Foods.

[432] They're putting grass -fed meat in there and stuff like that and organic vegetables.

[433] Yeah, they're all, because that's, the other was, what is it else?

[434] It's like weird granola and some, you know what I mean?

[435] There's like a weird granola aisle, like, who's buying this shit?

[436] Weird quinoa section.

[437] You're like, this is an empty section, man. I like tumbled.

[438] I tried quinoa for the first time.

[439] It's good.

[440] It's a very good grain.

[441] I tried kale for first time.

[442] What?

[443] You never had kale?

[444] No, I hadn't.

[445] Dude.

[446] Trying to eat healthy.

[447] I'll make you a kale shake.

[448] You'll freak out.

[449] You feel like you're on drugs.

[450] Really?

[451] Oh, man. It just gets you.

[452] fired up so much nutrients just getting jolted into your system we got to try this i use um kale a giant thumb -sized chunk of ginger four garlic cloves a pear and celery yes and run through the wall like dude when you're drinking this stuff your whole body's going what in the fuck is all this because it's blended down you don't even have to chew it to absorb it right this is going right in there and getting broken down.

[453] You feel great.

[454] But then, you better be close to a bathroom, son.

[455] I was about to say that.

[456] Yeah, you feel great, but how does the toilet feel?

[457] It's cleaning you out.

[458] It's cleaning you out.

[459] Quickly.

[460] Like a fucking tsunami, son.

[461] It's coming at your butthole door.

[462] It's, when it goes, especially if you put, oh, that's the other thing I forgot to add.

[463] You need either coconut oil or MCT oil.

[464] What's MCT oil?

[465] Medium chain triglyceride oil.

[466] It's essentially an aspect of coconut.

[467] that they extract.

[468] Okay.

[469] And it's just a really strong, healthy oil.

[470] A lot of people put it in coffee and stuff and different things, but it's a good dietary aid.

[471] But you have to put it in there because apparently, at least as it's been explained to me, the nutrients absorb in the body better if there's fat mixed in with them.

[472] So that healthy MCT oil or coconut oil, when you put all that stuff in there, then it allows your body to process those nutrients better.

[473] Wow, okay.

[474] But, dude, you better be close.

[475] I mean, like a sprint away.

[476] So this is just the cleansing shake.

[477] This is the cleanse.

[478] It just tastes good.

[479] The key is don't put too much MCT oil.

[480] That's the key.

[481] That seems to be the difference between making it to the bathroom and having a dreadful result.

[482] And calling for help from Laurel Canyon.

[483] Yeah, dude.

[484] You might have to call for help.

[485] Do you eat healthy?

[486] I try.

[487] I try.

[488] I have the vegan friends, and I have the friends that, you know, like to cook and eat and the foodies.

[489] So I'm trying to walk the fine line.

[490] it's hard when you're on the road right it is very hard to eat healthy on the road i try to do i go to whole foods i'll try to get like some soup and you know some chips or whatever for the room but i at two at 10 in the morning 10 at night it shows over at midnight you know i was hanging around and take pictures with the people and now it's one o 'clock and i'm starving and there's nothing open that i can get a healthy you know meal from yeah i always bring protein bars everywhere go i bring almonds and protein bars those are two good things to bring i should start doing it Yeah, it's like it's an easy thing.

[491] Like if you're just using, just trying to get some nutrition, just to fill your stomach, you're hungry.

[492] Just let me just so I'm not hungry anymore.

[493] Ammons are great because just a couple handfuls up.

[494] Well, I'm allergic to almonds.

[495] Oh, well, don't listen to me then.

[496] Allergic to almonds.

[497] Damn.

[498] How'd you get allergic to almonds?

[499] I don't know.

[500] I'm allergic to almonds, pecans, I believe walnuts, but not peanuts because peanuts is not a nut.

[501] Really?

[502] Peanut grows on the ground.

[503] Almond's pecans grow on trees.

[504] So something like, something weird there where.

[505] Whoa, peanuts growing the ground.

[506] I did not know that.

[507] Did you know that?

[508] A peanut is not a nut.

[509] Jamie didn't know it either.

[510] Yeah, I can eat peanuts all day.

[511] That's crazy.

[512] All my life, I've never thought about a peanut tree.

[513] Like, what the fuck's a peanut tree look like?

[514] I've never thought about that once.

[515] Even though Jimmy Carter, I remember, was a peanut farmer in Georgia.

[516] That was like a big thing.

[517] Oh, that was his brother.

[518] Wasn't that his brother?

[519] No, he was a peanut farmer.

[520] Jimmy Carter was.

[521] He was his family.

[522] I gave peanuts all day.

[523] Yeah, man. But I never knew what a fucking peanut looked like, like in the ground.

[524] I have no idea.

[525] I thought it was a tree.

[526] No. But even, I never even, like, I could see an, if you said, picture an orange tree.

[527] I could see it.

[528] Picture a peanut tree.

[529] Like, what the fuck?

[530] What does that thing look like?

[531] Meanwhile, I've had way more peanuts that I've had oranges.

[532] A tree full of squirrels.

[533] Yeah.

[534] That's what it looked like.

[535] Right.

[536] You always picture squirrels of peanuts.

[537] See, look.

[538] That's what it looks like.

[539] So they pull that out of the ground.

[540] Yeah.

[541] Whoa.

[542] So that's crazy.

[543] Yeah, it kind of grows like that on top of the ground right there.

[544] Wow.

[545] It grows on top of the ground.

[546] And you just go and pick them.

[547] Yeah, you go.

[548] I remember picking them with my grandmother back in South Carolina back in the day.

[549] It really is a trip.

[550] Like that.

[551] Some food.

[552] Some of these plants are incredibly nutritious to your body.

[553] And some of these plants will kill the fuck out of you instantly.

[554] And nature made people figure it out.

[555] You had to figure it out about trial and error.

[556] Trial and error.

[557] Can you imagine what it was like?

[558] The blowfish, that guy, that first guy.

[559] Hey, it's a fish.

[560] Can we eat fish?

[561] Bang.

[562] Gone.

[563] Dead.

[564] Yeah.

[565] How about those assholes that still decide to make sushi?

[566] out of it.

[567] If you cut it an inch to the left or inch to the right you're dead.

[568] Like why not just not eat it?

[569] No, no, no, no. Like, why not just skip that one?

[570] Danger.

[571] That probably doesn't make it taste better.

[572] You got those chopsticks and you bring it up to your lips.

[573] You're like, did this guy fuck up?

[574] Maybe this guy's getting old.

[575] Maybe his vision's going bad.

[576] He doesn't want to say anything because he wants to keep his job.

[577] I don't know this fucking guy.

[578] He's just take a bite and wait.

[579] Yeah, like blowfish sushi.

[580] That's like the the wing suit of sushi you know those crazy people that jump like my friend andy stump they jump off cliffs and shit with those wingsuits that's what that is for sushi eaters i saw a guy go through it was it was a guy that went through a uh a clip a cliff oh yeah yeah i saw that and it was like if he misses he's he's dead instantly dead dead there's a lot of videos of those guys dying yeah there was a video of a guy hitting a bridge going like a hundred plus miles an hour hit this bridge it was awful i mean fucking awful.

[581] Bungy jumping, all that stuff.

[582] You know, Will Smith is bungee jumping.

[583] What?

[584] Did you see this video?

[585] Will Smith, he posted a video on his Instagram.

[586] Another guy that has a great Instagram posted a video about how fear, I know, amazing things are right on the other side of fear.

[587] Yeah.

[588] So he's been doing this thing where he's just conquering all his fears.

[589] And he has a group of guys that, they're professional bungee jumpers.

[590] They're bungee jumping on his birthday, his 50th birthday, out of a helicopter over the Grand Canyon.

[591] Jesus.

[592] Yeah.

[593] This I got to see.

[594] That seems like a terrible idea.

[595] We did a bunch of that kind of shit on Fear Factor, man. We did it in the last season.

[596] In the last season, we did a couple of them that really had me freaked out.

[597] But one of them, they hooked people up to these bungee cords and they had them tied to like a post or something or a tree.

[598] or something i forget it what it was they were shackled just i think it was a post and the person had to release them well i figure out which key goes into which lock and it was like a race to do it and as soon as you released them they shot through the air because there was a helicopter holding on to a bungee cord behind them wow and then they were just dangling over this canyon like bouncing up and down and i watched the first one like they did a test one and i watched it and i was like yeah i mean they know what they're doing i guess they know what they're doing these guys are like professional stunt guys, but I was like, I would not want to be that person attached to that bungee cord.

[599] Who was the person that came up with these things?

[600] Like, I would watch the show.

[601] I didn't mind the dangerous stuff like that.

[602] Just the eating, like, every time I'm like, how did you know you could eat that?

[603] Yeah, they had a whole team of people.

[604] How do you know that won't kill you?

[605] No, they would do toxicology examinations on certain bugs that'd grind them up and find out what, you know, what's bad for you, what's not.

[606] Yeah, who's that guy?

[607] A lot of those people that ate food, man, that they shouldn't have had to eat.

[608] like they would do it with interns, poor interns, nice kids too.

[609] Scarred for life.

[610] Well, they were working on production, or they're not interns.

[611] I'm sorry, they were PA's, production assistants.

[612] And they would have to, you know, do like these really fucking difficult eating challenges.

[613] If they did it, they'd win a certain amount of money.

[614] They'd get a certain amount of money.

[615] I would always give them whatever I had in my pocket too.

[616] They won't eat anything other than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich now.

[617] Oh, this poor kids.

[618] the yeah it was just some of it was ridiculous like there's some things you just can't eat you just can't chew it down enough right like the smell you'd be like yeah it's coming up yeah but that didn't scare me what scares me is like the bungee cords under the helicopters type shit that was like how do you know that that's going to work out right every time i don't know i'd take the bungee cord over the helicopter before bull nuts and all that stuff no really yes man dude bull nuts are just just meat You just eat it.

[619] That's one of the easiest ones.

[620] Bullnuts would be super easy.

[621] People love those things.

[622] They call them Rocky Mountain oysters.

[623] I've heard that.

[624] I've seen one of those cooking shows and they fry them hard.

[625] They look like fried pork rinds and people are just going to town.

[626] Oh, is that what they do with them?

[627] It looks like pork rinds really?

[628] Yeah, they slice it and fried up hard.

[629] Oh, wow.

[630] I hadn't seen that.

[631] I'd seen sauteed and I'd see that where they breaded them.

[632] They like...

[633] Breaded Bullnuts.

[634] Breaded them and fried them and fried.

[635] them.

[636] Yeah, it's...

[637] Apparently, people love them.

[638] I'm not one of...

[639] There they are.

[640] They chopped those up.

[641] Rocky Mount oysters.

[642] Looks like fried cauliflower.

[643] Yeah.

[644] Man's dominion over animals.

[645] Now, imagine the person that tells you that's cauliflower, you eat it, or they say it's calamari, you eat it, and then your friends like, no, I'm kidding, it was bull nuts.

[646] See, it really bothers you that it's bull nuts.

[647] Yeah, kind of.

[648] It doesn't bother me at all.

[649] I think if you're going to eat the whole animal, you might as well eat his balls, too.

[650] Just out of respect.

[651] I mean You know The whole thing about Casterating them is strange too And they only castrate them Because they want them to be That's how you get a steer Right Like when they make a steak Right You get it out of a steer That means it doesn't breed It's like a bowl that they sniffed Right That's kind of crazy That's kind of crazy Sad That's just how they do it Sad for the bull Sad life Unfortunate So, like, they must do that with grass -fed beef, too, right?

[652] Probably, yeah.

[653] What's the one they put in the box?

[654] Wait, what's this veal, right?

[655] They put the, in the box and just...

[656] Oh.

[657] Yeah, if that doesn't bother you, like, what kind of person are you?

[658] You know, what are you doing?

[659] They put the calf, right?

[660] Is that what it is?

[661] They put the calf in the box so he can't grow?

[662] Yeah, and they keep him in the dark.

[663] And that keeps the meat tender or something like that?

[664] Now, who's the person that came up with that?

[665] that guy was an asshole that guy was an asshole it was just put it in a dark box for years and then the meat will be yeah well here's the thing that I found from eating wild meat specifically and I know that everybody can't eat wild meat I'm very aware of that argument but none of those animals are like that they're living they're living this buck wild nature life they're out there in the woods with predators and they're surviving for years in the mountains there's mountains lions out there and bears out there and these fucking things have figured out a way to get away from them and survive they're wired and alive and if you eat one of those it's just a different thing than eating these prisoners you know yeah we're eating prisoners that seems that's that's bad too to be out in the wild living your life you're an elk or a and then a man a human walks into this forum that doesn't belong he's the outsider and blows your fucking head off true unless you like to eat elk then it's awesome that's exactly what you were looking for you know i mean we could decide all day like whose land is whose land like it's their land this is where the elk live this is their home right they will walk right through your fucking liver room and stomp your kid to death okay don't get it twisted i don't think an elk was coming to my living room but if they wanted to like they're they're not respecting our our property because they love us and they you know we have a mutual agreement no like they're not really dangerous but moose are moose will fuck you up.

[666] I've heard moosa gigantic.

[667] I never seen one.

[668] If you find a moose in your backyard, get the fuck back in your house because the moose might fuck you up.

[669] Really?

[670] Oh yeah.

[671] Especially if you come near a mama.

[672] It's a mama in her calves.

[673] I've never seen a moose live.

[674] The fuck away.

[675] I said live.

[676] In a live.

[677] They're so big, dude.

[678] They don't even look real.

[679] When you see them, they're so big.

[680] They're like 20 deer.

[681] Damn.

[682] Really?

[683] Moose are like, what, North America?

[684] Canada?

[685] Yeah, like, probably north.

[686] There's no moose in, like, North Carolina.

[687] There's moose in Colorado.

[688] There's moose in Canada.

[689] There's a lot of moose in certain parts of Canada.

[690] They eat them?

[691] Oh, yeah.

[692] Yeah, there's a moose in Alaska.

[693] Oh, yeah, moose is delicious.

[694] But, dude, they're so big.

[695] You can't believe how big they are when you see them.

[696] You've eaten moose before?

[697] Yeah, I ate moose before.

[698] Wow.

[699] Yeah, it's really good.

[700] It's delicious.

[701] You eat a lot of stuff, man. Yeah.

[702] But it's, I just, I don't know, I like it.

[703] It's better for you.

[704] But the whole point was this whole veal thing.

[705] You know, I don't want that.

[706] Right.

[707] Like, that is not, like, that's not, you don't have to eat that.

[708] Like, why do you even want it that tender?

[709] Like, what are you doing?

[710] Does it hurt when you chew?

[711] What fuck are you doing?

[712] I don't get it, man. Are you scared of chewing?

[713] I just want a good taste of food.

[714] Can we make this any softer?

[715] Yeah.

[716] And that weird, it's like, oh, it's so tender.

[717] We're so lazy.

[718] We don't even want to work out when we eat.

[719] Like, oh, it's so tender.

[720] It falls off the bone.

[721] It just melts at your mouth.

[722] Chew it, you lazy.

[723] Take the fork and get it off the bone.

[724] Just chew it, you fuck.

[725] No, no, I'd rather keep this little baby cow hostage on hog -tide.

[726] Dude.

[727] It's horrible.

[728] It is horrible.

[729] That's one of the more horrible things about farming, right?

[730] I guess they have free -range veal, too, which is basically just the calf.

[731] What is free -range?

[732] Free -range is still in prison and on a farm.

[733] Free -range chickens, like, they still come and go.

[734] See, they don't want.

[735] Still on a farm?

[736] That's true.

[737] But free -range chickens are the exception, because free -wange chickens, they don't get anywhere.

[738] If you have a chicken house, okay, and you have a yard, you don't ever have to fence the chickens in.

[739] The only reason why you fence the chickens in is protecting them from other things.

[740] Right, right in their chicken house at night.

[741] Like, we leave the door.

[742] I have chickens.

[743] We leave the door open.

[744] At the end of the day, they just go in their little chicken coop and climb up into their seats.

[745] They know what to do.

[746] Like, that's their house.

[747] They live there.

[748] Like, they have some weird relationship with me. They know I bring food.

[749] Someone I come around.

[750] They get excited and they follow me around.

[751] But they know where they live.

[752] They're not prisoners.

[753] Like, they want to be there.

[754] You have free -range chickens.

[755] Yeah, they're free -range in the sense that I let them out all the time.

[756] But the thing about it is they're not going to go, like, to another state.

[757] So not what chickens do.

[758] Chickens hang around.

[759] Right.

[760] They hang around where they're going to be fed at because they're wild animals.

[761] Well, no, they feed all over the yard.

[762] We get fed here.

[763] This guy comes out and throws grain on the ground twice a day, so we're going to stay here.

[764] Well, it's not even that.

[765] When you let them out, they go looking for bugs.

[766] That's all they're doing.

[767] They wander around the yard.

[768] They fuck every bug up.

[769] Every bug's dead.

[770] Every mouse dead.

[771] Anything that's in a...

[772] Oh, they eat the fuck out of mice.

[773] Chickens eat mice.

[774] Jamie, I think we need to play an off -played clip for Mr. Rock.

[775] Yeah, dude, I didn't know either until I got them.

[776] They eat mice.

[777] They chase mice down in a ferocious manner.

[778] To the point where cats...

[779] Please pull this up.

[780] There's a fantastic video of a cat playing with a mouse and a chicken comes over and shows them how the fuck it's done.

[781] So here's one where they're going to put a mouse and this chicken's going to grab it from this dude.

[782] that's not as impressive, Jamie.

[783] Get me the one where the get me the one with a cat the chicken steals the mouse from the cat It says, do chicken eat mice?

[784] Do they eat the fuck out of mice?

[785] We had a mouse get into the chicken coop once just randomly, this is it, watch this.

[786] Look at this chicken.

[787] Look at this cat.

[788] The cat's thinking about getting the mouse and chickens like, bitch, give me that.

[789] Look at this.

[790] Did you fucking know?

[791] Wow Ferocious, dude Just consuming it See, cats kill things And the cat didn't even try to get it He was like, he was gonna He was taking his time He was having a good old time He didn't try to get it from the chicken Right, no cats are fuck that No chickens are too crazy Wow Okay, learn something new every day Chicken eat nice Wild little fuckers So they just go around my yard Jack and everything that moves How many chickens you got?

[792] 13 Damn, I lost a bunch of them Lost a bunch of them to coyotes Yeah Yeah No rooster You can't have a rooster.

[793] That's an asshole move.

[794] Every morning.

[795] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[796] I was in Tampa.

[797] You've done the Tampa improv.

[798] You see the chickens all around Ebor?

[799] Yeah.

[800] They do them chickens.

[801] Five in the morning.

[802] Yeah, I got it.

[803] You're like, what the fuck, man?

[804] Can they do something about this?

[805] I used to have a gardener that had, he kept roosters, like fighting roosters.

[806] And I went over his house for something.

[807] And he lived in this super Mexican neighborhood where, like, everything was in Spanish.

[808] All the signs were in Spanish.

[809] everything.

[810] I was like, wow.

[811] I mean, it was like, almost like visiting a section.

[812] Super Mexican?

[813] Nothing was in English.

[814] Okay.

[815] Everything was in Spanish.

[816] But it was just super Mexican to the point where everybody in his little area had boxes of chicken coops in the backyard.

[817] Just stacked.

[818] Fighting chickens.

[819] Dude, I mean, like five houses on this one block.

[820] Now, that's the cultural thing, right?

[821] Fighting chickens.

[822] So, like, people fight dogs and everybody's, what the fuck?

[823] It's like, isn't that a culture?

[824] thing also well i never i didn't like the disclaimer i don't fight dogs i don't even own the dog i get it we make a distinction between chickens and dogs because we eat chickens because we eat chickens and because you never really form a bond with a chicken like chickens are always like they're never really there for you right you know like my dog's there for me i come home i'm like my man he gets happy i go what are you doing how are you sir he gives me kisses he rolls on his back dog is a family member yeah chicken is a meal yeah and he he listens to me he he He's a, he's, he's patient.

[825] You can train this all, right?

[826] You can't train the chicken.

[827] You can't train shit with a chicken.

[828] Right.

[829] You can teach them where the food is.

[830] That's it.

[831] No, you just make the noise and they know when they hear that.

[832] Seusses too, whatever you say it is.

[833] We have a box of dried worms.

[834] We shake this box of dried meal worms.

[835] And as soon as they hear that, they come running, they love those things.

[836] They're little monsters.

[837] It's like fish.

[838] When you put your hand over.

[839] Uh -huh.

[840] They think you're going to drop.

[841] Yeah.

[842] I think you can drop some food on them.

[843] Yeah.

[844] Yeah, you could train them that much.

[845] But so we make a distinction.

[846] So when someone's like forcing dogs to kill each other, that's like forcing like a family member that can't read.

[847] It's like making two of your friends fight to the death.

[848] Yeah, like if you have a family member who can't read and you trick him into fight into the death, tell him you'll love him the most if he does it.

[849] Hey, dude, if you fight to the death, I will love you the most.

[850] But you have to win for me to love him.

[851] He's just smart for like a plant, smart for like, you know, like a, but not smart for a person he's not quite but you can talk him into it just ask him a question I don't want anybody to get upset and say I said anything about fighting dogs I know how sensitive some people are dude today you can't riff anymore you can't just talk off the top of your head you know like sometimes you say some shit where you're just exploring it like why how come it's okay with chickens it's not okay with dogs and you might actually be only you might be the only reasonable way to do that was to say it's fucked up with chickens too that's the reasonable way But people would always misinterpret it and go with the worst way is to say what's wrong with fighting dogs, which is not what you're saying.

[852] They're going to hear what they want to hear.

[853] But you were really saying, why should you be able to fight chickens?

[854] Why shouldn't we love chickens just as much?

[855] That's what you really say.

[856] Because we eat them, because they're delicious.

[857] Shouldn't they get the nod because they're delicious?

[858] I went to an ashram once and this lady who was there, she and I were having a conversation.

[859] And I noticed that she had ant spray.

[860] And I said, what do you do with the ants spray?

[861] She goes, well, it's unfortunate, but we have to use it because the ants have been getting to the garbage.

[862] I go, what?

[863] Wow.

[864] I go, you guys are murderers.

[865] You guys are killing ants?

[866] And she started laughing.

[867] She thought it was kind of funny.

[868] She's like, uh, she because we draw the line.

[869] That's one thing about Buddhists, like a lot of Buddhists, they don't take themselves too seriously to the point where they can't, like, crack out a little joke about that.

[870] That's good.

[871] That's good.

[872] of the fact they're using bug spray at an ashram.

[873] That's a very good.

[874] Death spray.

[875] You're killing all these organisms.

[876] But we decide that that's okay.

[877] Whereas like if she was in, her backyard was invaded by house cats, she just went out shotgun.

[878] You can't do that.

[879] You can't do that, but you can't spray the fuck out of these little bugs.

[880] You've got to kill them.

[881] It's like when things are little, we're like, I can't be bothered worrying about you.

[882] You're too little.

[883] Foodish you would think, though, they would.

[884] Yeah.

[885] Yeah.

[886] You would think that they would figure out a better way to keep those ants out.

[887] They're lazy.

[888] They wanted to kill them.

[889] Buddhists are lazy.

[890] Well, that one was.

[891] We just learned it today.

[892] Well, don't you think, like, do you think there could have been a way to clean them up with water and not kill them?

[893] Is that?

[894] No, you'd still kill some.

[895] You'd still kill them.

[896] Why not just sweep them out?

[897] Like, you're Buddhist.

[898] You're going to sweep them outside?

[899] But even then, you're murdering dozens and dozens of ants.

[900] If you just had a broom and you started hitting.

[901] Or how about you get an ant eater if you're a Buddhist?

[902] Because now a circle of life type shit, you know what I mean?

[903] Damn, maybe.

[904] Get a chicken, get a chicken.

[905] Get a chicken eats.

[906] Oh, yeah, then you got chicken shit all over your kitchen.

[907] Well, you sweep that up.

[908] That's not going to kill anybody.

[909] That's true.

[910] Maybe that's the move for a Buddhist.

[911] Yeah, they should have chickens outside the arch from.

[912] Hmm.

[913] We find answers here.

[914] We get in answers, but get down to the bottom.

[915] I wonder if they try to make their chickens vegetarian.

[916] Here, what does it say here?

[917] If you have an infestation, use your vacuum to quickly get rid of the invaders, then immediately emptied the vacuum bag in the outdoor compost pile or at some distance from your house.

[918] Do not use ant bait or poison, like sprays like raid that continue to, they continue in the toxic waste stream from their point of manufacture to their ultimate destination in landfills via runoff or sewage.

[919] That's very conscious of them.

[920] So they're saying don't use bug spray, just use a vacuum cleaner.

[921] you're still going to kill some guaranteed you're sucking those little tiny things into a huge metal tube what could go wrong get a chicken man if you imagine if somebody like assumed that you would be okay and they use something of proportionate size to suck you off the earth I gather they'll be fine they'll be fine you land on a pile of other people going 180 miles an hour you and other person get sucked up at the same time when you just smash into each other your broken arms and the shoulders I think that's ridiculous.

[922] What would you do if there wasn't a vacuum cleaner, Mr. Buddhist answer, man?

[923] Huh?

[924] What if there's no vacuum cleaner?

[925] Would you use a broom?

[926] A vacuum cleaner is going to fuck those ants up.

[927] I say chicken.

[928] Chicken eats the ants.

[929] Yeah, I think I like when you're doing.

[930] I think that's a smart way of thinking.

[931] Ant eater, even further.

[932] But I think ant eaters just like to get to a mound of dirt and just go to town.

[933] I don't know if they would hunt them down.

[934] They stick their tongues in the ant hole, right?

[935] Right, right, right.

[936] And just, yeah, tongues are like sticky, so it's just like they're just eating for days.

[937] But what if they wiped them out real quick?

[938] And then you've got a fucking ant eater that you have to feed.

[939] Then you've got to bring in ants.

[940] So you're like, what kind of an asshole am I?

[941] What eats the ant eater?

[942] What eats an ant eater?

[943] You bring it a fucking jaguar.

[944] Bring it a black bear.

[945] Yeah.

[946] Now you're a psycho Buddhist.

[947] Dude, there is a crazy video that I tweeted of these tourists walking through the woods.

[948] And they're walking down a trail and they run into a fucking gigantic grizzly bear.

[949] It is a terrifying video I tweeted it Yeah it's not on it I didn't put it on Instagram Dude this thing is so big And they're like all right Back up back up sir They got away yeah yeah Did you see the video of the poachers that went to kill the rhino And the lion killed her a video of it It's a I saw a picture I saw a still picture Oh okay yeah I didn't know if they got a video But yeah that's fucked up That's fucking a few dudes that got jacked right That's we even That's the lion saying we even Look at this Turn up the volume, Jamie I don't want to use my bear spray I don't want to use my bear spray That's a good boy That's a good boy He's coming around What's fucking mean good boy Can't come forward Yeah see here's the thing These motherfuckers It's following him It's circling him around Yeah he's That thing is circling him man It's going towards him That's a good boy that thing is coming way too close to him man it's like going in a circle crap he's huge hell no yeah they got lucky there i would have been gone the scary thing about that is that bear could have just decided randomly through some firing of his bear synapses to take a left instead of a right just go at him he just he could have easily decided that oh man that's crazy scare the shit out of me. You know why, man?

[950] We don't believe in things we don't see.

[951] We don't believe in them.

[952] What do you mean?

[953] You don't believe in things you don't see.

[954] You know it's real, but you don't believe in it.

[955] No, you don't believe in it.

[956] It's not a real thing in your world.

[957] Right, right, right.

[958] If you were outside and you saw that, if you were with those people in Australia, you'd be like, oh, Jesus, this is real.

[959] Well, no, if I was there, I would know that that's the reality.

[960] That's real.

[961] Like, my world doesn't involve being somewhere near that close to a bear.

[962] So to see it in my world would be what the, it wouldn't be real.

[963] No. I'd be like, holy shit, this can't be happening.

[964] But if you were with those people, if you went on that trip with that, I'd be.

[965] That would be.

[966] One of the craziest things you get out with you, your whole existence gets down to the chance that this thing makes a decision to go one way or another.

[967] Otherwise, it's just going to run you down and tear your part.

[968] That's like life.

[969] If you go in certain scenarios, you're like, wait, this shit can get real fast.

[970] Real fast.

[971] Yeah.

[972] That's one of them, man. that is life any that's inner city life is just like holy shit is this is about a pop off in here yeah right like how many people died in chicago last week some insane number there was a the reporting on uh the lack of attention that the murders in chicago are getting in like the national news and how crazy it is i've been to chicago several times the one thing that sticks out to me every time i go there is how segregated it is yeah i've never gone to anywhere for a major city like New York is like, we're all piled up together.

[973] Four killed, 24 wounded in weekend shootings.

[974] God.

[975] 28 people got shot, dude.

[976] That is crazy.

[977] 28 people in a weekend.

[978] 12 .15 in the afternoon, it said.

[979] Fuck.

[980] Standing on a sidewalk.

[981] Jesus Christ.

[982] Someone opened fire.

[983] Jesus Christ.

[984] Like, there is a war going on in Chicago.

[985] That's way more deadly than most of the wars we're engaging in overseas.

[986] You don't hear about that many soldiers dying every day.

[987] Now, that's another scenario how we said, like, that's real.

[988] Yeah, that's real.

[989] The fear is real.

[990] Unless you're there.

[991] You walk outside in Chicago, that is a real fear that you should have.

[992] And this is what's correct.

[993] A number of people in Chicago this year passes 1 ,400, 1400 people shot.

[994] Now, how many people do we know how many people got shot, like, doing tours of Afghanistan?

[995] that's a good question so what is this this is over the year this is this year?

[996] This year okay so let's Google how many soldiers were shot overseas this year you know the that's a weird thing man that we got a war going on if that was Mexicans invading North Dakota and shooting people and that many people were dying every day we would be taking action but because it's happening two people if it was 1400 and a hundred of than more white people, it would be an issue.

[997] Oh, yeah.

[998] If it was 1 ,300 black people and 100 white people, it'd be shut Chicago down.

[999] You're really right.

[1000] This is, I mean, it's something that people don't talk about.

[1001] It's 300, I mean, it's like, uh, would be crazy.

[1002] That's a weird statistic.

[1003] It's a terrible situation, like culturally, to have something like this is glaring point.

[1004] And with 1 ,400 people being shot, that means, and people don't want to realize this, is, you know, post -traumatic stress disorder is a real thing in the ghetto as well as in the hills of Afghanistan.

[1005] Of course.

[1006] It's real.

[1007] Of course.

[1008] So when you see something that, when people are like, why these guys have guns on them, it's like, dude, 1 ,400 people got shot.

[1009] I'm just trying to get to school them back.

[1010] Yeah.

[1011] I'm trying to get to working back.

[1012] Of course.

[1013] It's, you know, we're not protecting those people.

[1014] Exactly.

[1015] If they were stuck somewhere overseas in the middle of some war, you know, and they were American citizens.

[1016] He'd be like, please help get us out here.

[1017] It would be like statistically the numbers of the south side of Chicago where all this murders going down.

[1018] There was a place statistically in another part of the world.

[1019] Right.

[1020] We would be saying.

[1021] But those numbers anywhere else and it's a crisis.

[1022] If we had, let's say Hawaii, let's say if we had just moved into Hawaii, like just took over Hawaii, and then we were in an area where people started getting shot and killed by locals like that.

[1023] We would want to extract those people from Hawaii.

[1024] We'd scoop them up from an island.

[1025] We would think they'd be shooting at the helicopters as we rescue them.

[1026] Right?

[1027] Well, you just look at the real numbers, just the raw number.

[1028] That's a crazy number of people getting shot in a year.

[1029] Just this year.

[1030] This is July.

[1031] July just started.

[1032] How many soldiers got shot?

[1033] I'm trying to find the wounded.

[1034] I can only find deaths.

[1035] Okay, what's the deaths?

[1036] It's only like 1 ,500 total since like 2001.

[1037] Since 2001, man. This is since January.

[1038] It seems weird saying only.

[1039] Well, yeah, I know what you're saying.

[1040] You're saying in comparison to the other number since January.

[1041] Yeah, that's insane.

[1042] It's crazy.

[1043] That is insane.

[1044] And that's happening right here in the good old U .S. of A in one of the biggest cities in the world.

[1045] Chicago's a giant, awesome city.

[1046] And it's happening in other cities also that people don't know about it.

[1047] But Chicago is the most glaring.

[1048] Yeah.

[1049] Because I don't travel around there, so I don't know what happened or why it happened, why they have this segregation there and what it was all about.

[1050] Go to Chicago, man. And it's like black people all the way over there.

[1051] Then it's downtown where it's nice and everybody's, you know.

[1052] Detroit has that too, right?

[1053] Detroit as well, yes.

[1054] Man. And you go down south, it's like that.

[1055] You go to Louisiana.

[1056] It's crazy.

[1057] If you were the king or the president, Tony Rock.

[1058] If I was the president.

[1059] How do you fix this?

[1060] You have to fix this.

[1061] It's a process, man. First, I always say number one is.

[1062] education.

[1063] Education is number one.

[1064] If you're just, if you're getting a better education, then you just avoid the pitfalls naturally because you just know that certain things are wrong.

[1065] Yeah.

[1066] And by getting a better education, I mean, you have opportunities to do, you know, you have music appreciation, you have the arts, you have sports, you have things to occupy you during school hours and after school hours.

[1067] There's no type of any type of extracurricular activities for these kids.

[1068] In Chicago, there's gang life, which you are born into, which you are expected to go into once you are a certain age.

[1069] All right, you're a man now.

[1070] Here's a gun.

[1071] We don't like those guys.

[1072] Those guys don't like us.

[1073] You don't even question it.

[1074] It's like my father's been this way, my grandfather's been this way, my uncles are this way, my big brothers are this way.

[1075] You don't even, you're born right into it.

[1076] You're born in a war zone.

[1077] All right.

[1078] And you don't question it.

[1079] And it's a war zone where you sleep and your family lives.

[1080] Right.

[1081] Not just a war zone with soldiers, but a war zone with families.

[1082] And another thing, better education, you're more, worldly.

[1083] If you see the world, you realize how small your neighborhood is and there's a bigger world out there and you want to go places and see things, then you realize like, what are we doing here?

[1084] But these are people that I guarantee probably never left Chicago.

[1085] Right.

[1086] Probably never went on vacation to the South to visit grandparents and realize, damn, the South is nice and quiet and the people are friendly and they've never been to, you know, the zoo and saw an animal and went home and googled the mating rituals of this, you know, open your mind.

[1087] Open your mind.

[1088] You see the world, the stuff that you're involved in becomes just so small.

[1089] Yeah.

[1090] This guy, I don't like this guy because he has on red and I have on blue.

[1091] I don't get it.

[1092] So education.

[1093] That tiny little area, you know, that he operates in with his living his life, it does matter.

[1094] You know, it's a reality.

[1095] Right, right, right.

[1096] Your reality is what's around you.

[1097] Yeah, that's what's.

[1098] Until you get a a scope of a bigger world.

[1099] Like, I grew up in the hood.

[1100] I grew up in Bedside, Brooklyn, the one of the wildest neighborhoods when I was going up there.

[1101] But my vision was past it.

[1102] My vision was, yeah, this is going on outside, but I'm going to be there one day.

[1103] What do you attribute the having the ability to do that to?

[1104] Having a mom and the dad.

[1105] My pops, my father worked two full -time jobs, my whole childhood.

[1106] My father literally worked 80 hours a week.

[1107] Wow.

[1108] So just to see him go every day, like, damn, this dude works hard, man. Wow.

[1109] Didn't have a lot to show for it.

[1110] Made sure his kids had.

[1111] Mom was a teacher.

[1112] Education was, you know, she made an emphasis on it.

[1113] Wow.

[1114] You know, it was like my friends, one of my best friends down the block, no dad.

[1115] My friend across the street, no dad.

[1116] My friend, two doors down, no dad.

[1117] Then Crack came.

[1118] And that was, everything fucked up.

[1119] Everything started just, the neighborhood started just to, you know.

[1120] Yeah, that was like a plink.

[1121] Crack was people that are alive today Or young kids today They don't remember the 80s There was a like a plague A plague hit Everybody knew somebody they got hit And so many people's lives were gone Done Done over People who were doing fine And then all of a sudden Yeah I remember it I remember it well Yeah it was a weird crime wave too Started losing friends That's what happened I started losing friends that's what happened and friends I saw like people don't it was crazy man like some of the shit we saw I saw a friend get shot in the head like talk to him on the corner engaged what's up man yeah we're going to play ball later you want to play ball all right cool I hit you later turn to walk down the block looked maybe you know a thousand feet away and looked back to like just you know look around the neighborhood and saw a guy just run up bang kind of like he was he looked like if you ever see an old big daddy cane album he had the flat top and a bunch of jewelry on on the corner on the pay phone this was beeper days you know beep right and you got to turn and the guy ran up on him while he was returning a beep and just tried to rob him and then he went for his gun and the guy just boom right in his head right on the corner of my block right on the corner of my block and I went home and my parents today and I was like this is crazy man and that's where I grew up but my vision was not confined to where I I was it was I'm gonna be you know you're very fortunate once I get out of here I'm gonna do this and once I leave here I'm gonna you're very fortunate to have those kind of examples you know of your dad who worked like that and your mom very fortunate that's awesome yeah man it's hard for some people if they didn't get the break that you got in that regard absolutely that I don't I it's not missed on me like I realized like if I didn't get that I didn't catch that last chopper good for you man that's uh but that's that's that's that's That's where character comes from, too.

[1122] I mean, having someone like that as an example, like how, like someone who can work two full -time jobs.

[1123] I mean, that's a force of will.

[1124] Most people struggle with one, man. One is hard.

[1125] Eight hours a day?

[1126] And he made you.

[1127] My dad's rule was everybody had to have a job at 14.

[1128] So, you know, 13 was your last summer.

[1129] Enjoy yourself at 13.

[1130] Have a ball.

[1131] Do whatever you want to do.

[1132] 14, you're getting a job.

[1133] Wow.

[1134] Yep.

[1135] No, he didn't play at all.

[1136] 14.

[1137] Job.

[1138] And we've worked up since.

[1139] Those guys, the thing is, man, that's a bitter pill to swallow when you're young.

[1140] But damn, the dudes who go through that always seem like they have an extra gear.

[1141] You know, I know a lot of dudes who went through like boot camp type dads, and they did not like it.

[1142] But they can do some shit, like just a little bit more shit that other people can do.

[1143] You know, they might not like the fact their dad was always telling them what to do.

[1144] But these motherfuckers can hike 20 miles and not complain.

[1145] My dad wasn't boot camp, but it was like, you're going to work.

[1146] That's not even a question.

[1147] You're going to work.

[1148] And then I have so many siblings that what his rule was, you know, we all had to take care of each other.

[1149] So my oldest brother, of course, he turns 14 first.

[1150] He's working.

[1151] He gets paid.

[1152] You have to give everybody $5.

[1153] You got paid today.

[1154] Give all your siblings $5.

[1155] Wow.

[1156] Next brother gets a job.

[1157] Now it's two brothers working.

[1158] Give everybody $5.

[1159] Wow.

[1160] So we all had to, it was like a...

[1161] Socialism.

[1162] Yeah, my dad just made sure it all worked.

[1163] That's cool.

[1164] That's very generous, too.

[1165] That's like everybody, that's forcing everybody to be in it to get.

[1166] that's smart and taking man and then it was the rule was it was uh if your brother's in a fight you're in a fight so then it became don't fuck with the rock brothers because there's so many of them you have to fight all of them so that kind of kept us safe during this whole you know wow that's awesome and what a it's a bad situation to be in but a great place to develop character right there's a lot of opportunities to develop character there you know who you are You know what you're, you know that you're, you know, you develop a sense of, you know, go and get it.

[1167] Work hard.

[1168] No excuses.

[1169] Nobody's doing it for you.

[1170] Nobody's coming to save you.

[1171] You're responsible for you.

[1172] Yeah, man. We all need to have a little bit more of that in our life and then also a little bit more community, too.

[1173] Absolutely.

[1174] Oh, yeah.

[1175] And I, that right.

[1176] And we grew up in a time where it was next door neighbor could spank you.

[1177] Right.

[1178] Lady across the street could grab you and make you sit down on the stoop until your mother came.

[1179] home the guy in the bodega at the corner would tell you to sit inside until your mother came home yeah people would uh they would police the neighborhood right now we live in now we live and don't talk to my kid don't touch my kid yeah right get off my son don't touch my child there's a lot of that well it's because somebody man this the weird balance i've talked about this recently but my cousin i saw my cousin get smacked by some lady once when we were we were both like my cousin's a year younger than me so i might have been six and she might have been five somewhere around there It wasn't any older than that.

[1180] Right.

[1181] And this lady cuffed her right in the face, man. She fell.

[1182] This lady fell on the ice.

[1183] And my cousin just happened to be there.

[1184] And she was looking at her on the ground.

[1185] And she did not laugh at her.

[1186] But the lady said she laughed at her.

[1187] The lady got up.

[1188] She was just angry that she fell and hurt herself.

[1189] She got up and smacked my cousin right in the face.

[1190] My cousin fell down.

[1191] I remember seeing it and realizing I couldn't do anything about it to save her to help her.

[1192] You know, I was a little kid too.

[1193] And being terrified to this grown -up person just smacked this little kid in the head.

[1194] for something that wasn't even real.

[1195] Like, you don't want that either, right?

[1196] It's like, don't touch my kid.

[1197] It's probably better in the long run with crazy people.

[1198] That's not helping raise a child.

[1199] That's being a mean -ass adult.

[1200] That's just a crazy lady.

[1201] She was a crazy lady that lived in our building.

[1202] That was always the thing about living in apartment buildings, right?

[1203] There's always somebody who died, right?

[1204] Somebody always died, and you would be walking by that apartment going, what the fuck is that?

[1205] What is that smell, man?

[1206] You ever smell dead body When somebody died in the house Dude, it is crazy how bad it smells It's so bad People smell so bad when they die It's insane Thank glad I never smelled me dead body Dude the entire floor Smelled like a body It was so gross Even after the body was going It took a while I'm sure for them to clean it I hardly remember I just remember There was a terrible terrible smell In the hallway And then they realized that this lady had died in her apartment.

[1207] So then they go in to get the body.

[1208] But I don't remember how long it took for them to clean up the smell.

[1209] But the smell was unbelievably bad.

[1210] And then somebody moves in and all the neighbors like, you know, somebody died in there.

[1211] Yeah, they don't tell you shit.

[1212] They tell you that's the dead house.

[1213] Now you walk past the dead house.

[1214] Don't they have to tell you now, like if someone got murdered in a house?

[1215] I think that's a law.

[1216] That wasn't a law before?

[1217] I don't think it was.

[1218] I think in some places maybe it was a law.

[1219] That's not a law.

[1220] They just saw you a house.

[1221] Like, hey, whatever.

[1222] You figure it out.

[1223] What happened in here?

[1224] Nothing but good times.

[1225] Enjoy your house, fucko.

[1226] Nothing but good times in here.

[1227] Bullet holes in the wall.

[1228] Hey, you bought it.

[1229] Hey, people get crazy in this neighborhood.

[1230] They like to celebrate New Year's Eve, 4th of July.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] I don't know, man. You should probably know.

[1233] Do you believe in haunted houses?

[1234] Not really.

[1235] No. Not really.

[1236] I haven't experienced one, so I don't.

[1237] I don't give it much thought.

[1238] Put it that way.

[1239] I don't believe in ghosts, but I don't not believe in ghosts.

[1240] Have you experienced the paranormal?

[1241] Nope.

[1242] But imagine you're out in the desert and all of a sudden you see an apparition walk towards you in the desert.

[1243] This is happening to you?

[1244] Just imagine.

[1245] Okay.

[1246] I'm in the desert.

[1247] It's nighttime.

[1248] And it looks right at you and it looks like a teacher that you knew from like seventh grade or something.

[1249] This is at night.

[1250] At night.

[1251] And then it vanishes.

[1252] Then it vanishes right in front of you.

[1253] Do you tell people?

[1254] Yeah.

[1255] What do you tell them?

[1256] My fucking seventh grade teacher just popped up in the middle of the desert.

[1257] Oh, Tony, we've got to get you to a doctor.

[1258] Tony Rock's gone crazy.

[1259] No, you know what you would do?

[1260] You tell the people you trust.

[1261] Even if the people you trust, they'd be like, you're okay.

[1262] Let me fill your head.

[1263] I never experienced it.

[1264] I would put you in a category.

[1265] Oh, Tony Rock might be crazy.

[1266] You'd have to go into that category.

[1267] Then I'd have to accumulate more data.

[1268] I'd have to say, well, every time I talk to him, he seems reasonable and intelligent.

[1269] He's a really funny guy.

[1270] I don't think he's crazy Oh, you say, I think I saw I'm, I was out there by myself It was nighttime, you know Dude, I was talking to this dude once Pulls out his phone He starts showing me pictures of clouds I go, what is that?

[1271] He goes, here's another one Look at this one here I go, what is it?

[1272] He goes, look at this one here I see them everywhere I go, what do you see?

[1273] And he goes, flying saucers These are clearly ships from outer space And you saw clouds They're in the clouds.

[1274] They're inside the clouds Yeah He's got pictures His phone was like Remember when Jack Nicholson with the Shining, all work, no play, makes Jack a doll boy, just types it over and over again.

[1275] This dude, his whole phone was just clouds.

[1276] He shows me the pictures on his phone.

[1277] I was like, oh, no. Yeah, that's a little different.

[1278] Dude, he had hundreds of pictures of clouds.

[1279] And what you say?

[1280] I didn't know what to say.

[1281] He's a grown man, older than me. What was I going to say?

[1282] Okay.

[1283] I usually, that's what I usually say.

[1284] Okay.

[1285] There's nothing to say.

[1286] You think those are spaceships?

[1287] I'm looking at clouds and you think they're spaceships.

[1288] wrong here i don't want to be mean seems like a nice guy okay is probably the best bet yeah what do you say man yeah yeah you're right hey man maybe he's right maybe he has some they live glasses that i don't have right remember that movie with rabbi rody roddy piper i've got one that can see and he's he's looking at those photos and he sees some shit that my puny brain can't see that's possible too what if people can see stuff like that what if people can see some stuff and we don't we should yeah be so clear in our sight i think it's entirely possible that people have senses that they can detect things and feel things the the real question is how many of those people are being honest about it and how often does it really happen because people the problem is there's a tendency this is the tendency people love to pretend they have some psychic power right or they have some paranormal gift or they're different and exceptional in some way without earning it from everybody else people love to do that like I just have a sense right I have a sense because they like the attention yeah I just know I just know man I just have a fucking instinct that I always go on my gut.

[1289] But that doesn't mean you're always right.

[1290] So you've got to wonder, like, how many people really do feel like something's wrong when something's wrong?

[1291] Right.

[1292] And how many people really do, like, know not to go to a place?

[1293] Like, something is telling them not to go, like something's strong.

[1294] And how many people are just full of shit?

[1295] And how many people, after the fact, pretend they had a voice that told them not to do it?

[1296] I don't know about the voice, but I know that that's real.

[1297] That instinct to say, hey, don't go there.

[1298] A lot of times, there's been times in my life.

[1299] life where I, you know, just followed the instinct and ended up, you know, I couldn't, I remember one time, something happened to my brother Brian.

[1300] My brother Brian, my favorite brother in the whole world.

[1301] Well, the other brothers are mad right now.

[1302] No, everybody knows Brian's my favorite.

[1303] Brian got a guy tried to rob Brian in the neighborhood one day.

[1304] He got in a fight with a guy and got cut his face.

[1305] And he went to the hospital when I was at work and my brother's called me like, the guy tried to rob Brian.

[1306] And, and I didn't know where the hospital was.

[1307] I jumped on the train.

[1308] I took the train a few stops.

[1309] I jumped off.

[1310] I jumped on another train took it a few stops I'm like fuck I jump on another like you know you transfer in New York to on subway jump on the third train and take it a few stops and get off and come up to the street and I asked the guy walking hey man you know where Kings County Hospital is and he says right there and I had no idea I just fucking felt it like I got to get to my brother wow and I just literally hey man where's that he's like right there and I just it was I just felt it like I got to find my brother And that's all I was thinking about.

[1311] Wow.

[1312] Yeah, I believe you.

[1313] I believe that's real.

[1314] I know for a fact that I've been thinking about people and they've called me. But I don't know about, you know, that they live glasses.

[1315] I don't know.

[1316] No, I don't think that's real.

[1317] But I know there's something that happens sometimes when you're thinking about someone when they call you.

[1318] Right.

[1319] Because sometimes it happens where this person is like so far out of your memory.

[1320] Right.

[1321] Like you haven't talked to them in a year and a half.

[1322] And you're like, dude, how the fuck did you know?

[1323] I was just thinking of you.

[1324] Like, man, I was just thinking about you, just calling them, check and see what's up.

[1325] The wave is so strong.

[1326] Yeah, it connects.

[1327] You put a frequency that's so strong in the air that it...

[1328] I think there's something to that.

[1329] Wait.

[1330] What is this?

[1331] Ghostbusters laws?

[1332] Many states passed legislation in the 1980s and early 1990s to protect sellers and real estate brokers from buyers claiming they were damaged by the seller's failure to disclose the presence of ghosts.

[1333] Wow.

[1334] These laws became known as Ghostbuster laws after the 1980s era movie.

[1335] comedy.

[1336] Connecticut Ghostbusters Law first appeared in 1990.

[1337] Wow.

[1338] Psychological impact is a thing.

[1339] Psychological impact became non -material, huh, non -material fact concerning real property.

[1340] The overhaul also replaced the reference to HIV with a reference to the Commissioner of Public Health's list of reportable diseases, reportable diseases.

[1341] Huh.

[1342] Wow, man. This is all, yeah, I mean, I guess they have to do that, right?

[1343] They have to do that.

[1344] I mean, you don't want someone to know that, like, there was a house that I saw in Boulder that was for sale.

[1345] The house where John Bonae Ramsey was killed, and they couldn't sell it.

[1346] I think they even changed the name of the street or something crazy like that.

[1347] Wow.

[1348] And they still couldn't sell it.

[1349] And it was like a really nice house.

[1350] People were just like, no thanks.

[1351] Wow.

[1352] That house is just poison.

[1353] That's like a Bundy.

[1354] They tore Bundy down OJ's house Oh yeah Did they tear it down?

[1355] What was it called?

[1356] Rockingham?

[1357] Dude there could be Some fucking psycho could move there You know Want to live where the king lived The apartment though The condo is still there Cato still lives there No no no OJ's house is gone But the The murder scene is still Oh really Yeah Really?

[1358] Why would they That is a That is a Why would they tan down all jays and oh well someone just made a call that's sad yeah that was one of those stories I want to oh my god that's hilarious yeah I wonder whether or not your honor are we gonna go back to reference ghostbusters law number one I think they usually say I would like to call Ray Parker Jr. as a character witness I don't think in court they ever use those names right they just use like the docket number or No, you got to say Ghostbusters Are you allowed to say it in court?

[1359] You got to come in with the music playing It did that damn it Yeah That's hilarious Yeah Have you ever been a place Where it felt weird When you found out that someone died there You've been in a place where you felt the presence I've been in places that felt weird Because some violence was going to pop off And I knew it And I was like let's get the fuck out there Right That you can tell You can feel that sometimes Somebody's dying Yeah No I was at a concert once and a brawl broke out and I quit I was a security guard and I was a Neil Young concert and it broke out and I put a hoodie on I zipped it up I covered my security outfit I'd walk right the fuck out of there I was like I think you out of your fucking mind if you think I'm jumping into this fray and getting clocked in the head by somebody like people were fighting and they canceled the show and kicked everybody out people were lying fires I was at what was it the Bible War When Dr. Dre got jumped and Young Buck stabbed the guy, I was there.

[1360] Wow.

[1361] And I was doing a show for UPEN.

[1362] This was back when UPN was still a network.

[1363] And one of the execs from UPN was there with her young son.

[1364] Who wanted to see all the rappers.

[1365] And he's sitting at the table with us.

[1366] And I saw the G -Unit group come in.

[1367] Then I saw the death row guys come in.

[1368] Then I saw Dre's group come in.

[1369] And I'm sitting there.

[1370] And I forgot the lady's name.

[1371] I said, hey, you might want to get your kid out of here.

[1372] Something's about to go down.

[1373] And she's like, what do you mean?

[1374] I'm like, it's about to go.

[1375] And she's like, he's so excited.

[1376] He wanted to see Dre and he loves 50 Cent.

[1377] And I'm, listen, get this kid.

[1378] It was a little white kid to him.

[1379] I'm like, oh my God, can I go say hi?

[1380] And I'm like, you might have to get him out of here.

[1381] And when, it's like the second time I said it, like, yo, you might want to really get him out of here.

[1382] It's going to pop off.

[1383] Boom.

[1384] Dre gets punched in the face.

[1385] Maylay, Young Buck stabs a guy.

[1386] And I'm like, told you.

[1387] Jesus.

[1388] And like two days later on set, she's just like, how did you know that?

[1389] Like, I know the energy in the room.

[1390] I can feel it.

[1391] I've been around it too many times.

[1392] That's a crazy feeling too when people are about to do something ridiculous.

[1393] Yeah, you see the walk, you see the look, you know.

[1394] It's like, it's sad, but it's true.

[1395] Like when you grow up in the hood, you have that instinct.

[1396] You have that look.

[1397] You look at a guy who walked past you one time and you look around the room and, okay, it's about to go.

[1398] Yeah.

[1399] It's about to go.

[1400] Yeah, people that have never experienced that probably wouldn't know what to do.

[1401] Right.

[1402] They would think nothing of it like that lady.

[1403] like she'd never seen those signs before yeah i've been on the road uh this was recently like maybe three months four months ago i had uh my feature my feature comic with me he's from chicago actually and we're in a club after the show and there's a couple guys talking in the corner and i said something to a girl she's like hey tony rock and have a little small talk and she walks over to the group of guys and one guy walks over and stands at the end of the bar here and one guy stands at the end of the bar here and i turned to my friend dave and i go yo you ever been a fight in the bar before and he said no I said, get ready, motherfucker.

[1404] You're about to be in one.

[1405] Because I saw it.

[1406] Jesus.

[1407] And then the third guy comes over.

[1408] It's so funny.

[1409] The third guy comes over and he's like, oh, shit, you are the comedian.

[1410] And I said, yeah.

[1411] He said, I thought that was you.

[1412] He was over there talking.

[1413] I was like, I thought that was a comedian guy.

[1414] And he said, I got a good picture, man. I took a picture with him.

[1415] And he calls on the guy.

[1416] I was like, yeah, it was the comedian.

[1417] It was him.

[1418] And it was like, he kind of just squashed it because he, I guess they didn't know who I was.

[1419] And it was going to go.

[1420] But because I said something to the girl.

[1421] Oh.

[1422] And then he's like, no, it's the comedian.

[1423] And I'm like, hey, fellas, what's up?

[1424] No, I, you know, I turned into the comedian.

[1425] Like, what's up, guys?

[1426] How are you doing?

[1427] Y 'all, all right?

[1428] What did you guys need to drink?

[1429] Let's do it around the shots, you know?

[1430] Oh, man. And Dave's like, dude, how did you know that?

[1431] I'm like, I know, motherfuckeruckers.

[1432] It was going to go.

[1433] It was going to go.

[1434] Ah.

[1435] Yeah, if you ain't never been around violent people, you probably don't smell that vibe.

[1436] Right, you smell that vibe.

[1437] That's a valuable tool to have if you're in those places.

[1438] Especially if you're on the road in cities, you know, by yourself.

[1439] On the road, you know, maybe you have a local friend.

[1440] It's like, dude, let me take you to my friend's club.

[1441] He wants to meet you.

[1442] Right.

[1443] And then you're in some place.

[1444] You're like, how do I get out of here?

[1445] Where are we exactly?

[1446] I've been in, hey, my boy's having a party in his house.

[1447] And I'm like, oh, what the fuck am I doing this house?

[1448] You're up in the hill somewhere.

[1449] I don't even know.

[1450] You got to drop the car off and getting a bus.

[1451] I'm like, I don't know where I'm at, man. The craziest ones are the ones that have to take you in a shuttle.

[1452] You have to park your car here, sir?

[1453] You're like, what?

[1454] Are you fucking kidding me?

[1455] You're going to a shuttle to a party?

[1456] The worst, I was in Iowa one time This is a true story I was in Iowa I was in a Des Moines Iowa Did the show There's not very many black people in Iowa So shows up a group of white guys Like hey bro you're super funny man Let's go get a drink Let's go to the bar Right down the street I'm a New Yorker right down the street Is literally right down the street Right They get in a truck He pulls a truck around He pulls a pickup truck One of those four door pickup trucks Big ones And there's two guys in the front And they're like Hey jump in man And I'm like Oh Jesus I fuck are we going right down the street and now we're driving for maybe 10 minutes.

[1457] Oh, Jesus.

[1458] And I'm trying to get a point of reference if I got to jump out the truck.

[1459] Oh, my God.

[1460] It's Iowa.

[1461] It's nothing, as far as you can see, right or left of the truck.

[1462] Just highway and grass.

[1463] Right.

[1464] So there's nothing like if I jump out, which way, I don't know.

[1465] This is how girls have to feel every time they get in a guy's car.

[1466] Yes, yes.

[1467] That feeling?

[1468] So we pull up at a barn, a barn.

[1469] And the two guys are excited.

[1470] They jump out and they run around the other side of the barn.

[1471] Like, hey, bro, come around this way.

[1472] And they turn, and I can't see them now.

[1473] Oh, no. And I say to myself, like, holy shit, this is how it's going to end.

[1474] This is it right here.

[1475] Oh, my God.

[1476] And I turned the corner, and I see the neon light that says, girls, girls, girls.

[1477] I had never been so excited to see the ugliest strippers in the world.

[1478] It was like, yes.

[1479] Yes, I want a lap dance from this wildebeest, yes.

[1480] I'm not dead.

[1481] I want all the lap dances because I thought I was going to die five seconds ago.

[1482] God, you thought they were taking you to our barns where you go back behind there that's chains hanging in the rafters.

[1483] Exactly.

[1484] Oh my God.

[1485] That shit's happened before.

[1486] That's the crazy thing about people.

[1487] Like the worst thing.

[1488] You know, I'm watching this show Vikings.

[1489] You ever watch it, Jamie?

[1490] You got to binge.

[1491] It's a good goddamn show.

[1492] I think I'm on season three or four.

[1493] I can't remember.

[1494] But it's a good fucking show.

[1495] But it just shows you how brutal people were back then.

[1496] Like every day, someone's getting fucked up on that show.

[1497] That show is a Guarantee people are going to die every episode.

[1498] People are getting drowned, people are holding them underwater.

[1499] People, little kids are killing people with axes.

[1500] Like, it's great.

[1501] That show is fucking crazy.

[1502] Every day, people are getting jacked and murdered and killed.

[1503] You sound like you like it.

[1504] That's a fucking good show.

[1505] I enjoy it.

[1506] But the point is, like, these people were, like, this was life for these fucking people.

[1507] Right, right.

[1508] That was a real world, real world situation.

[1509] Yeah, your reality is what your reality is.

[1510] It's like people are like, people that don't understand your reality, well, you're not from this world.

[1511] This is a real thing to us, to know how a fight's going to pop off, to know when a guy's strapped, to know when this is our reality.

[1512] What's crazy is that we like to think that that doesn't exist anymore, that that Viking style of living doesn't exist.

[1513] But it does.

[1514] They just use guns now.

[1515] It's just happening like that with guns.

[1516] That's all it is.

[1517] It's basically that same kind of like conqueror, survivor mentality.

[1518] bullets and fuck you and fuck him and the guys that run in the jewelry store and smash the glasses and that's pillaging and cundering right yeah it's the same kind of it's like as old as time it's just confined to certain areas now and it's not spreading out like the vikings did in giant boats and getting on the sea and they're not doing it like the vikings did it some aspect of it was just you know trying to discover new lands yeah you know yeah they were trying to farm and shit yeah there's meat over here or there's gold hold here that now they just do it because it's like I have to eat them you know I want those sneakers man I wish I could see what it was really like back then because it's like you watch the show and the show's really cool but you know they're actors and they're doing a great job and everything but you still know their actors and you're watching them do things and everything's really well done it's a really well done show but still you're like man I wish I could see it in real life yeah to just be where where it was happening in real life do you imagine just being alive back then.

[1519] When the best clothes were made out of fucking animal hides, he just draped in buffalo skins and shit.

[1520] Or you killed the buffalo, you ate the village ate the buffalo, and then you used every piece of it.

[1521] So, it was clothes, it was food.

[1522] They would take their boats out and catch fish and bring them in and people would be waiting on the docks, see if they were going to eat tonight.

[1523] Right.

[1524] And there's only like 200 people in the town, so if a plague hit, half the people would be dead.

[1525] A woman would have a baby right in front of you?

[1526] Yeah.

[1527] Wrap it in a blanket and that was it.

[1528] That was it.

[1529] Dude, that's how people live.

[1530] forever.

[1531] People lived like that for thousands of years.

[1532] And they lived.

[1533] And they lived.

[1534] They didn't, they actually lived.

[1535] They thrived.

[1536] Right.

[1537] But wouldn't you take this over that?

[1538] I would take this, yes.

[1539] They would too.

[1540] They'd be like, you fucking asshole.

[1541] You want to be a Viking?

[1542] I want to drive a Cadillac.

[1543] I would take the bottled water, yes.

[1544] They'd be like, no, no, no. Fuck riding a horse, dude.

[1545] I drove into Escalade today.

[1546] That shit is so smooth.

[1547] It's comfortable.

[1548] The A .C. It's hot outside, but it's cool in here.

[1549] I played this music.

[1550] The music.

[1551] I wirelessly charging my phone right there on the fucking it's like they would be like you're an asshole if you want to live like us all you campers and there's some guy that doesn't have any of that fucking opens your door with a gun and now he's the Viking like exactly I need this yeah yeah and if you don't take care of that problem this is the thing like it never gets better it's like a part of it's like if you were a person and you had like a thing that was wrong with you like a big cancerous legion on your leg and you just ignored it fuck it whatever just keep on trucking It's going to keep growing, right.

[1552] Yeah, but that is exactly what any sort of crime -infested area is.

[1553] It's a problem that if you don't address, it's not going to get any better.

[1554] And it probably's going to get worse.

[1555] People don't address the problems in society until it affects them.

[1556] What do you think they could do, though?

[1557] Like how besides just education, how do you stop as much crime?

[1558] How do you give people, like, counseling?

[1559] Well, you can get the guns out of Chicago.

[1560] You can get the guns out anyway if you want to.

[1561] You think so?

[1562] How would they get the guns out?

[1563] You would get most of the guns out, right?

[1564] You can get most of the guns out.

[1565] You can do that.

[1566] But do you run the risk of taking guns away from people that could defend themselves in a really dangerous area that's filled with guns?

[1567] By taking...

[1568] By taking the guns out.

[1569] Like, what about people that are also...

[1570] Who are you going to take the guns away from?

[1571] You're going to take the guns away from the lady who runs the bakery, who carries a lot of cash at the end of the day?

[1572] Lady that runs the bakery keeps her gun.

[1573] Lady that runs the bakery that has a business...

[1574] that provides goods and services for the neighborhood that wants protection that wants protection keeps her gun did you see that recent video there's a crazy video these two gals behind a stove and one lady's cooking and the guy punched her in the face the guy comes back and wails her in the head and then the other girl pulls a gun out she keeps her gun yeah that she keeps our gun because shit like that might happen but that guy now imagine if he had a gun that's a good thing for people to see this is why and I'm not saying everybody should have guns it's a good thing for people to see because you only hear the other side you only hear guns being dangerous and killing people you don't hear people like that lady that just saved herself from getting the fuck beat out of her with a gun I know I saw that video and then I saw the other video was a guy in a jewelry store yeah comes in two or three guys hoodies on mask on you see the guy who's coming through the door pulling their mask down it's like on the camera right and then you see a guy walk away from the jewelry display he walks the camera shooting this way so he walks out of range of the camera and when the guys come in he comes back blasting boom whoa that guy keeps his gun jesus he just started shooting soon as they came in guns out oh jesus so what happened it was it was customers in there too so no he hit one he hit the first guy yeah and then other two ran out and you see the guy run out of camera range you imagine being in a fucking jewelry store trying to buy a watch for your wife and a gunfight breaks down.

[1575] Engagement ring.

[1576] You're just like, I'm so in love.

[1577] Me and my girl are going to get, and the guy just comes in.

[1578] You think this could be it.

[1579] This is how I'm on to go.

[1580] My kids are never going to see again.

[1581] You know what?

[1582] This is a sign we shouldn't get married.

[1583] Blah!

[1584] I was so in love, but that she was scary.

[1585] I just have too much PTSD to get married right now.

[1586] That's hilarious.

[1587] That is hilarious.

[1588] Yeah, but you run a business, you keep your gun.

[1589] You keep your gun, yeah.

[1590] You're just a guy who, a corner, 20 guys on the corner, cops stop them, frisk, okay, taking these guns.

[1591] It's going to be hard to get them all, man. And the problem is defining who gets to keep one and who doesn't get to keep one.

[1592] It's very sketchy.

[1593] Let's have that argument later.

[1594] Let's get the guns first.

[1595] Well, then, hold on, but the problem with that is you're never going to get them back.

[1596] Like, once you take them away, whoever got the guns taken away, they're never getting their guns back.

[1597] Well, no, you've got to take the guns, and then you have to, there has to be more to just that.

[1598] You've got to take the guns, and there has to be an increased police presence.

[1599] You have to take the guns and they have to be something to do when school lets out.

[1600] You have to take the guns and they have to be, you know, counseling for drug offenders and you take the guns and there has to be jobs in the neighborhood.

[1601] You know, it's a lot of steps that have to go.

[1602] But it can be done.

[1603] Yeah.

[1604] You could definitely get the illegal guns, right?

[1605] If you could somehow another get access to them, the illegal guns.

[1606] The legal ones are going to be real tough because if someone has a gun legally and they haven't committed a crime, It's going to be real hard to take that gun away from that.

[1607] Yeah, but I don't think if they did the numbers, the guys with legal guns aren't the guys that are committing all these crimes, right?

[1608] The guy with a legal gun, I'm pretty sure isn't the guy that drove past this party.

[1609] So then you got to, right, then you got to worry about the people with legal guns getting robbed for their guns.

[1610] Right.

[1611] You know, if guns become a shortage.

[1612] The whole thing is very, it's a real problem and it's very, it's very complicated, I think, to try to completely solve it.

[1613] And how do you get these people that are in that life?

[1614] that are every day involved in gang violence and...

[1615] I don't think everybody...

[1616] I could be wrong.

[1617] I don't think everybody that's in gang life wants to be there.

[1618] I think you're right.

[1619] No, I think you're definitely right.

[1620] I think they're just like, what the fuck else is there to do in this neighborhood?

[1621] You're right.

[1622] I think if they had an opportunity to, you know...

[1623] I think the guy, the kid that is a very good basketball player that his uncle was, like I said, his family lineage is gang life.

[1624] If he had a chance to go play basketball somewhere, He would take that chance.

[1625] I think you're totally right.

[1626] And I think in the absence of any other chances, that's when it becomes something that's an option.

[1627] Right, right.

[1628] And I think it's all about the same feeling that people get when they're joining gangs or when they're like a staunch right winger or a staunch left winger.

[1629] I think it's all the same thing.

[1630] It's like people have a desire to belong to something.

[1631] Absolutely.

[1632] Make something that makes your life have more meaning or feel like it has more meaning.

[1633] Absolutely.

[1634] And then when you don't have that, you'll get behind anything.

[1635] you get behind anything yeah like i say on instagram all the time it's like uh i told my little brother just yesterday it's the reason why they call them followers because they just want to get behind shit they don't even understand yeah if you it's like i get a my instagram is hilarious because i get a lot of people like i'll get girls that are like hey i love what you're doing i saw your shows then i get the random guy that's like you're you know shit you're just chris's brother you ain't you ain't and it's like dude that's what you like you think that's gonna hurt me like but it's the you just wanted you just wanted to be involved in this you just want to it to be a part of it you didn't you wanted my attention you didn't know how to get it well the problem is the desire to do that in the first place like who the fuck are you like why would you want to do that why'd you want to make somebody feel bad for no reason right right for what because the just want to be involved in in some capacity yeah here's a tip to anybody that thinks like that there's no way you're not a loser it's impossible there's not a single winner alive that would write something like that absolutely do you think like maybe like michael jordan goes trolling through instagram accounts looking for shit yeah you're shit without your brother you know You had to sign with the Lakers to be, it's like, the fuck out of here.

[1636] That's what it is, loses and its winners, man. Loses always have a, like, an excuse for why they're not winners.

[1637] It's weird, you know.

[1638] And I think it's a lot of it is people not having good examples around them when they're growing up, getting fucked over, being in a bad situation.

[1639] It's like, we're just developing shitty people or at least people that have shitty ideas in these cycles where it just doesn't ever get better in certain spots.

[1640] I agree.

[1641] I think we're making more shitty people.

[1642] There's more shitty people than before.

[1643] I agree with it.

[1644] But I feel like we could put a curb on that.

[1645] I feel like we could slow it down.

[1646] How do we curb?

[1647] People have to change the way they think about shit.

[1648] This time is too short to be shitty.

[1649] You know, and everybody's been shitty.

[1650] I've been shitty before.

[1651] I'm sure you've been.

[1652] Absolutely.

[1653] Jamie's shitty the other day.

[1654] I'm just kidding.

[1655] We all have been, you know.

[1656] It's just people have to figure out a way to do that less and resist the urge to do it.

[1657] That urge to do it is a bad urge.

[1658] It doesn't help anybody.

[1659] You just feel good.

[1660] good because you made somebody feel bad?

[1661] Like, for what?

[1662] You don't even know Tony Rock.

[1663] Why are you talking shit to him?

[1664] Like, what is that, dude?

[1665] Fuck him, bro.

[1666] His fucking brother is the reason why I know about him in the first place.

[1667] So he's fucking lucky.

[1668] I know who he is.

[1669] Uh -huh.

[1670] But that's like a fake...

[1671] That's like a fake sense of feeling better about yourself.

[1672] Right.

[1673] Because it doesn't really make you feel better about you.

[1674] It doesn't at all.

[1675] And it clearly doesn't affect me. It doesn't hurt me at one bit.

[1676] It also defines you to yourself because you know you're not a winner.

[1677] Because it's impossible.

[1678] You think Elon Musk goes and trolls on Twitter and says mean shit to people, talks about girls' asses.

[1679] He doesn't have the time for that, right?

[1680] He's a winner.

[1681] He's busy rescuing the – oh, they got those kids out of the cave in Thailand.

[1682] Yeah, everybody's out.

[1683] That's one of those baby -in -a -well -type things.

[1684] Every few years, like a little kid falls into a well.

[1685] Why does that happen once a year?

[1686] I don't know, man. We need to fix wells.

[1687] That shit should not be an option.

[1688] Little kids fall down a well.

[1689] That and the guy blowing his pinky finger off on July 4th.

[1690] It happens every year you would think people would learn.

[1691] Oh, that's probably happening all year round in Texas, right?

[1692] In places where you can go to Mexico real quick, sneak over there and buy firecrackers?

[1693] I know every 4th of July in Brooklyn is like Mike lost his finger.

[1694] I bet if they had a video across America, you know how they have those time -lapse videos, and you can see every kid ever documented that lost a finger in a firecracker accident.

[1695] It would look like hands are at war with firecrackers.

[1696] If you could just look, like, gang, gang, gang, gang, g. across the country and see from, you know, from California to New Jersey and just see every kid losing a figure.

[1697] Oh my God, that one pocket would just be every year.

[1698] Every year.

[1699] What?

[1700] Did you see the NFL player that he posted a picture of his hand?

[1701] Yes.

[1702] Oh, no. Pia poll.

[1703] Jason Pia Peele.

[1704] Oh, my God, show it to me. It's like, oh no. It's like, oh, no. Yeah, it's back.

[1705] Oh, shit.

[1706] What happened?

[1707] That was July 4th last year, two years ago?

[1708] Two years ago.

[1709] He blew up his hand.

[1710] He's a basketball player?

[1711] NFL, NFL.

[1712] Oh, my God.

[1713] M -80 in his hand.

[1714] Oh, my God.

[1715] So he lost fingers?

[1716] And millions of dollars.

[1717] So that was it.

[1718] He was over after that.

[1719] He played again, so he came back and played with a cast on his hand.

[1720] Yeah.

[1721] But he was...

[1722] He's still playing.

[1723] He got traded.

[1724] He got traded to Tampa Bay.

[1725] He can play football?

[1726] He's just a defense.

[1727] He's just tackling.

[1728] He has like a mitten.

[1729] Like a mitten.

[1730] Oh, oh, okay.

[1731] Okay, he's defense.

[1732] Dude, what in the fuck, though?

[1733] He blew his thumb off, man. And his pointer for index finger?

[1734] Index finger.

[1735] He blew three fingers off.

[1736] I don't know what that is.

[1737] That's the middle finger.

[1738] That's his middle finger.

[1739] That was his middle finger.

[1740] And one of those ones on the other side.

[1741] That's ring and pinky.

[1742] Jesus.

[1743] Fuck, man. That is terrifying.

[1744] Wow.

[1745] Yeah, he shared that on the fourth to like.

[1746] Oh, he posted the video.

[1747] He posted the video.

[1748] It was like, be careful on the fourth and had his hand.

[1749] Good for him.

[1750] Yeah, good for him.

[1751] Yeah, fuck those things, man. They're too easy to get in some spots.

[1752] you know like if you're on a border city just sneak over to Juarez yeah yeah we wouldn't even see him in Brooklyn until around around the fourth and they disappeared after that I took a drive to Tijuana once we were working in San Diego La Jolla La Jolla comedy store we took a drive right down to Tijuana and there's a weird feeling you get I've never been to Tijuana this was Tijuana in the 90s man this is like when it was still Tijuana you might not come back now people go there for cheap dental work you know it's like they do they do People sneak across the border to go to a dentist.

[1753] Why would you go to Tijuana to go to a dentist?

[1754] Because they're good dentists.

[1755] Really?

[1756] It's just super cheap.

[1757] Holy shit.

[1758] Yeah.

[1759] Cost of living over there is cheap.

[1760] My dentist is in Beverly Hills.

[1761] You want that dude to play.

[1762] Prime real estate.

[1763] Yeah, man. You need to get paid.

[1764] Yeah, you want a dentist that's like really hustling.

[1765] Not a dentist.

[1766] It's like, it's easier if you just go.

[1767] And don't women go down and they get butt injections also down?

[1768] Ooh, do they?

[1769] They get fake titties and butt injections.

[1770] Whoa.

[1771] Really?

[1772] Yeah.

[1773] Oh, man. In hotel.

[1774] room's like you go to hotel what is this what is that it's the map this here's the border and there's all the dentists right on like holy shit right on the main street right off the border isn't that crazy so you pit who's the first guy right there central yeah that guy tijuana clinic for cosmetic dentistry holla at your boy want to get some pearly white son i'm tired of these marijuana and coffee stained choppers i'm going down there i'm gonna come back pretty i'm not gonna say shit jamie i'm just gonna disappear i've never been to teawana man i'm gonna tell you i'm going on a hunting trip and then I'll strike out and then I'll come back with some shiny choppers.

[1775] That's what the women are doing.

[1776] They're going, you know, we're going to Miami for the weekend.

[1777] They come back from Tijuana with fake tits.

[1778] One's hired in the other one.

[1779] Fake tits are a weird one, man. Because we'd never accept anything like that on a dude.

[1780] But I'm a girl, we're like, take it.

[1781] You're right.

[1782] Like, if a guy had like fake traps, I just like that look.

[1783] I like that look.

[1784] If guys just put fake traps in because they found out that girls like traps, if there was a one thing like that.

[1785] You're right.

[1786] There was nothing that a guy could, what?

[1787] Nothing's even close.

[1788] Nothing's even close.

[1789] So we're like, I'll take it.

[1790] I'll take it.

[1791] We don't care.

[1792] We're so much easier than them.

[1793] That's what it is.

[1794] That's why.

[1795] That's why.

[1796] We're so much easier to excite.

[1797] If I have a fake ass, guys are like, you're right.

[1798] They don't care.

[1799] Guys with a fake ass, imagine if a girl was like, your butt is so big.

[1800] You must be able to jump so high.

[1801] And the guys are like, no, I had my butt done last year.

[1802] Girl will be like, what?

[1803] Yeah.

[1804] Did you really say that?

[1805] What did you say?

[1806] Guys don't care.

[1807] And then he said, ready?

[1808] He said, I got my butt done.

[1809] That's what he said I got my butt done That would be his nickname They'd have a nickname about him He'd be awful They would, dude call him butt done Guys don't care We just like My cousin used to have a joke He said I don't give a fuck What's in your titty?

[1810] He's just fuck me Whoa That guy's aggressive That's funny That's funny Yeah Well If women can hear The ridiculous shit that men say All the time All the time If the shit that makes us laugh the gross thing is people trying to pretend that we mean everything we say too especially with comedy with men in comics yeah but right now men in comedy men in comedy right right that's the problem yeah it's like sometimes some of this stuff we're just joking you know like stop being so serious most of it we're just joking yeah do you find that this is a more sensitive time for comedy that's what I'm being told and that's what I see in the news but I refuse to you know change anything I do you kind of can't right i'm not doing it i'm not i'm not saying jokes and then having the issue a statement later it's like i was i was saying a joke man if you didn't take it if you didn't take it the way i'd yeah interpreted it if you interpreted it the wrong way that's so on you i'm not doing it yeah it's just supposed to be funny stupid right it was funny to somebody you know it's weird that it's okay to do in a movie like you could have some ridiculous scenes in a movie but when you have a ridiculous thing that you're saying Like people take it as a fact Oh, he's not even acting Because yeah, right There's no acting It's like you said it Joe Rogan believes this Yeah This is your perspective Tony Rock thinks that Yeah It's interesting I think this is a like A very unique time In communication for people It's one of the reasons Why stand up is a little bit more challenging right now But I think that's all a good thing man Challenging is good Yeah, it's all good It'll make for a better product Yeah it's all good It's all good It's all interesting Well you've been working mostly These days I'm on The first quarter I was On tour with Mike Epps I was Mike Epps We went out from January To like March April and then I do my own thing You went on a tour tour Yeah yeah The real deal Like every week Mike brings them out man Like 10 ,000 12 ,000 Jesus Christ It's fucking incredible man When you're doing a tour Like that man And you're doing How many nights a week?

[1811] We do Friday and Saturday If it's a three day weekend, we'd do a Sunday.

[1812] Oh, so every week, Friday Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.

[1813] And then are you working in the city at all?

[1814] Are you working in here?

[1815] Here?

[1816] I'm always working in the city.

[1817] I'm always working on them here.

[1818] Yeah.

[1819] Yeah, that gets you sharp as fuck, man. Right, right.

[1820] And then I do that.

[1821] And then from there, I do 20, maybe 25 minutes with Mike.

[1822] Then when that leg is done, I do from April, May, to October, September, funny bones, improv, just comedy clubs, more intimate settings.

[1823] with the guys I bring out.

[1824] Yeah.

[1825] And we do that until, you know, L .A. needs me. I'll be on the road.

[1826] And now they just added more dates for Mike for the fourth quarter.

[1827] So we're doing West Coast now.

[1828] We're doing Portland and San Fran and Oakland and San Diego and California and Phoenix.

[1829] And it's going to be incredible, man. You're one of those guys where I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

[1830] Like, how come people have caught on the fact that Tony Rock's one of the funniest guys alive?

[1831] Yeah, I've had a lady at the show the other night.

[1832] She said, I think the whole world is sleeping.

[1833] on you.

[1834] And I said, that's the fucking best compliment I ever had in my life.

[1835] Well, the thing is, man, you've been under the radar but getting better.

[1836] Like, I remember I came up to you.

[1837] That's all the matters.

[1838] It's like, as long as I'm getting better, I'll pop up on your radar at some point.

[1839] I remember how long ago this conversation was.

[1840] How long you be doing comedy now?

[1841] 98.

[1842] 98.

[1843] So I think we had this conversation more around the, like, year 2000 -ish.

[1844] It was fairly recent in like you started doing stand -up.

[1845] We were talking at the laugh factory.

[1846] And I remember coming up to you and go, dude, you got good like you got good like you you really made a big jump yes every day man and you were saying i'm working man i'm out here working every day and uh i remember watching that set and thinking i don't remember what year this was but i want to say it was like 2002 or three or something like that watched the set i was like oh dude this guy's about to pop nice nice yeah i'll i'll be under the radar until i'm not yeah man that's the thing every time i see you're getting better that that radar is a good thing.

[1847] And then people say, oh, he blew up, but not knowing that, like you said, it was 2000 we had this conversation.

[1848] It's a fucking grind, baby.

[1849] You've got to be in it, though.

[1850] You got to be in it.

[1851] It's a lot of guys.

[1852] A lot of guys I work with at the Laugh Factory.

[1853] You know, Ruben Paul.

[1854] You know Ruben Paul.

[1855] Sure.

[1856] I see Ruben Paul.

[1857] He's working.

[1858] I see, you know, I see everybody.

[1859] I'm thinking the names.

[1860] I'm lost the names.

[1861] Ruben, I see all the time.

[1862] He does his own.

[1863] He does the room there now.

[1864] He has a Tuesday night show that he does.

[1865] It's like, we're in the trenches, man. we working yeah that's how to do it it's the only way too it's the only way in this crazy business it's a weird business man and it's just you know if you stay in that work mode there's so much stuff going on in the world this material out there you just grab it it's out there yeah there's always something fucked up going right especially today and in your life there's stuff going on you're like okay got to put that down i mean this is one of the strangest times i think ever to be a comedian because like whoo where do i begin That's a great intro.

[1866] He's going to stage like, fuck, where do I start, man?

[1867] Everything's a mess.

[1868] What do I do?

[1869] Where do I begin?

[1870] Yeah, the whole thing's a mess, man. We're buddying up with dictators and who knows what's happening.

[1871] We got a reality TV star for a president, and he's actually, the economy's doing well, so no one knows what to say.

[1872] The whole thing is chaos.

[1873] The first lady was in Playboy.

[1874] The first lady was in Playboy.

[1875] She is the very first hot as fucked first lady.

[1876] No doubt.

[1877] Well, we haven't seen all the first lady, so.

[1878] That's true.

[1879] She's the very first hot as fuck first lady.

[1880] Jackie O was, she was stylish, right?

[1881] Jackie O was stylish, wasn't she?

[1882] Shut your mouth.

[1883] Was she a fashion icon?

[1884] She was okay.

[1885] She was okay.

[1886] If Melania walked in the room, we stopped talking to Jackie.

[1887] No disrespect.

[1888] No disrespect.

[1889] She was a beautiful lady.

[1890] She certainly was.

[1891] She was, I'm sure, a wonderful woman.

[1892] But Melania is, like, stunning.

[1893] She's like supermodel stunning.

[1894] Yeah, especially when she was younger.

[1895] I don't think he's stunning.

[1896] Dude, do you ever see pictures of her?

[1897] Young Melania, no. Dude, when he first married her, she's a beautiful woman, like undeniably.

[1898] Yeah.

[1899] Okay, all right.

[1900] Well, you don't have to agree with me. I think she's, I see some attraction there, but I don't know if she's like, holy shit.

[1901] I think if you're around her in a party and you both had a couple of cocktails.

[1902] Oh, it might go down.

[1903] And she touched your thigh, looked at you.

[1904] You'd be like, oh, shit, I just got lightheaded.

[1905] I think, da, da, da, da.

[1906] I think you like, I think you like.

[1907] Melania.

[1908] Are we pulling a picture up?

[1909] What are we doing?

[1910] What are you doing?

[1911] Jamie?

[1912] Jamie's jerking off over there.

[1913] That's how that she is.

[1914] I was trying to go how young.

[1915] Do you have a playboy picture?

[1916] No, just not just take a, just show a photo of Melania.

[1917] Why can't we see the playboy picture?

[1918] Here we go.

[1919] Come on.

[1920] Oh, that's not bad.

[1921] She's hot as fuck.

[1922] That one on the left is not bad.

[1923] Yeah, that's her when she was younger, but not much younger.

[1924] I mean, I think it's just how she's wearing, what she's wearing.

[1925] She's dressed more conservative now.

[1926] Like if you look at her in the far right pick, you know, she's more conservative.

[1927] Yeah, that's not bad.

[1928] That's not bad.

[1929] Dude, there's not even a close second.

[1930] She knocked it out of the park.

[1931] That's a legitimate professional hot chick who's the first lady.

[1932] She's all right.

[1933] Save your bickering, sir.

[1934] You stop this.

[1935] Michelle Obama was gorgeous.

[1936] That's true.

[1937] But a different way.

[1938] A different way.

[1939] What's this?

[1940] This is her.

[1941] This is her when she was young.

[1942] Michelle was definitely a different gorgeous.

[1943] This is a different thing, son.

[1944] Look at that body sit on the couch.

[1945] Get the fuck out of Dodge, kid.

[1946] Come on.

[1947] All right.

[1948] You got it.

[1949] that it's like the beginning of that door song come out dun dun dun dun come on that was nice that's woof that is uh that's top of the food chain right there apparently she isn't into looks as much maybe she just likes the way he treats her there you go it's a strange strange time tony rock you know strange time to be a human being as a comic you got to love it like you said yeah um do you like living around here uh you know what i I like L .A. I don't love it.

[1950] It's not like, oh, my God.

[1951] I'm such a New Yorker.

[1952] I just, I'm used to that.

[1953] How long have you been living down here now?

[1954] Ten years?

[1955] Ten years?

[1956] But like the first three, I would go home every, you know, I was here filming the TV show.

[1957] So every hiatus week, I would go home.

[1958] And when it's show wrapped, I would go into us.

[1959] So I wasn't here the whole time.

[1960] The people who like New York, especially New York Comics, they say that New York comics, it's more harsh.

[1961] Like, it's more fun.

[1962] Like, people insult each other more.

[1963] Yeah.

[1964] there's like there's a camaraderie to that way more camaraderie yeah way more yeah yeah I come to LA it's like oh I didn't know we were enemies I didn't know we were all against each other oh do you feel that yeah really yeah more so with black comics oh more so black comics of course like you know that's unfortunate I got unfortunately I have the brother that everybody's like you know he's the best and oh he's his brother fuck that guy this guy's regarded it's his brother fuck him he's gonna get passed along he doesn't have to work hard but you know what he's going to have everything handed to him that didn't happen with the Wayne's brothers like Keenan and Marlin or uh Damon rather why do you think that is I don't know like they did stuff together Keenan and Avery Wayans and Damon Wayans like when they were both they were both famous at the exact same time yeah people forget how funny Damon was Damon is a monster still Monster.

[1965] When I used to see him in the 90s, he had his last stand -up, I think he called it.

[1966] He threw the microphone down.

[1967] He broke the mic and he was like, I'm done, I'm never doing this again.

[1968] That shit is one of my all -time favorite specials.

[1969] It's a powerful.

[1970] Mike Tyson grabbed his love.

[1971] Mike Tyson grabbed him on the neck.

[1972] I'll bite you.

[1973] Hilarious.

[1974] Tommy Hurons piece.

[1975] Dude, he was so funny.

[1976] My brother said, Damon taught him a lot about how did you stand -up.

[1977] Oh, I'm sure.

[1978] Yeah.

[1979] David was the man. It's still the man. He was a guy who would come in do late -night spots at the comedy store.

[1980] He would just show up and, you know, they'd put him up whenever he got there.

[1981] And he would just completely explore ideas.

[1982] Like, he had no worry about, like, he wasn't concerned about getting the laugh.

[1983] He was working it out on stage 100 % of the way.

[1984] I love seeing it.

[1985] I love seeing it.

[1986] But he was a famous guy at the time.

[1987] This is after in living color.

[1988] I see Dave do it all the time.

[1989] Whenever I see Dave on stage, Dave is like, I don't know.

[1990] Fuck this room.

[1991] I'm trying to figure this shit out for the show.

[1992] Right.

[1993] You know?

[1994] But you also want to entertain the room because they are the show too.

[1995] Right.

[1996] So Dave is, I think, the best at dancing through that line.

[1997] He knows how to create new material better than I think anybody I've ever seen.

[1998] Have you seen Mark Curry?

[1999] Oh, yeah.

[2000] Mark Curry will go on stage and say, give me a topic and make it a 10 -minute bit.

[2001] Yeah, yeah.

[2002] And that shit is impressive.

[2003] He's such a nice guy.

[2004] I think he's so likable.

[2005] Like, Mark Curry is like one of the nice.

[2006] Nice as fucking guys.

[2007] Like when he would come to the comedy store, everybody would light up.

[2008] He's just so nice.

[2009] Like always.

[2010] Funny, just real relaxed.

[2011] I like him a lot, man. Yeah, I saw him do a lot of sets back then, too.

[2012] Back when he was doing hanging with Mr. Cooper, he'd drop in and do that.

[2013] I haven't seen him in a long time.

[2014] I think he's on tour with a cat right now.

[2015] He's got a sleeper Bronco.

[2016] I think he still has it.

[2017] We had this, like, 1980s black Bronco, but he had it all done up.

[2018] Like O .J. Bronco?

[2019] It was like an OJ Bronco, but he had like an engine upgrade in it, suspension upgrade, tires, wheels, the whole deal.

[2020] Nice.

[2021] It was like an urban assault vehicle, like a powerful Bronco that just looked like an older Bronco that somebody just has on the road.

[2022] But meanwhile, this thing is like tuned up.

[2023] Nice.

[2024] Yeah.

[2025] The classics, man. Yeah, and he would drive around that thing.

[2026] He had a gang of cars.

[2027] That dude, love cars.

[2028] Really nice, funny guy.

[2029] I got to get me. I got to get some old schools.

[2030] I want to train.

[2031] Zamb, that's what I want.

[2032] I want the smoking and a bandit, Transzamb.

[2033] Yeah.

[2034] That's what I want.

[2035] What is this?

[2036] Oh, that's right.

[2037] It died.

[2038] He got hit by a tree.

[2039] Fuck, that's right.

[2040] Did he catch on fire?

[2041] No. Oh, man. This is the Bronco.

[2042] That's the Bronco.

[2043] Yeah.

[2044] Damn, the storm last year took.

[2045] Mark Curry's Bronco.

[2046] He loved that thing, man. That was it.

[2047] It was a total sleeper.

[2048] That car was a sleeper.

[2049] See, that's when you're smart dudes like him.

[2050] man, they get sleepers.

[2051] They like to drive around a no -notice car.

[2052] That's how you move around.

[2053] You got to move around like that.

[2054] Don't bring too much attention.

[2055] Yeah, you got to move around.

[2056] Be able to go wherever you want to go when you want to go, you know?

[2057] That's a move, man. A no -nonsense Bronco.

[2058] I need an old school.

[2059] What kind?

[2060] I like the pickup trucks, the old, I think it's like a Chevy.

[2061] 30s or 50s?

[2062] Like 50s.

[2063] The Chevy with the like the bubble.

[2064] Oh, yeah.

[2065] Tire covers, what is that called?

[2066] I don't know, but I know what you're talking about.

[2067] There's one that a lot of.

[2068] of people redo.

[2069] There's a very specific Chevy pickup truck.

[2070] That right there.

[2071] Oh, I need that.

[2072] Look at that thing.

[2073] I need one of those.

[2074] 1950 Chevy pickup.

[2075] Wow.

[2076] It's crazy what they can do to those too.

[2077] I mean, who would have ever thought if you looked at one of those in the flesh in 1950 that someone would have something like that in 2018?

[2078] That looks like something from the movie.

[2079] In 1950, it costs.

[2080] It costs, what?

[2081] $6 ,000 in 1950?

[2082] Did it even cost that much?

[2083] Let's guess.

[2084] How much?

[2085] How much did a pickup truck cost in 1950?

[2086] I say $1 ,500.

[2087] I'm going to say $3 ,500.

[2088] How much did a pickup cost in 1950?

[2089] Here we go.

[2090] Drumroll, please.

[2091] Nothing popped up off the top?

[2092] It might be giving me pricing for now, too, so I'm trying to...

[2093] Oh.

[2094] Did you write how much did a pickup truck cost?

[2095] Price of in...

[2096] Retail price in 1950.

[2097] Maybe that's it.

[2098] people listening to this bored out of their fucking mind right now like do you really care why do you care what a pickup truck cost 1950 are they watching live some people hey what's up what's up people there's a slight delay nice oh for curses no just uh just because of the internet I think it's too late we already fucked it out how much they're off 1243 1200 yeah 1243 1243 1243 1243 1 ,243 that's crazy insane I tell it current value 303 nice or so yeah I got to get one that's what you want why I pick up truck and not a muscle car no I want that I want that Spongy to Bandit first oh right 75 right yeah of course I want a Lincoln Continental with the suicide doors oh you want one of those I need that wow gotta have that the smoking the band are you gonna have the firebird on the front on the hood yeah absolutely the same one I want the I want the the Ford Mustang that Eleanor yes the Ghana 60 seconds car?

[2099] Dude, that car.

[2100] That's one of the best looking cars of all time.

[2101] Probably the.

[2102] Probably the.

[2103] 66 Corvette.

[2104] Beautiful car.

[2105] Those are great cars.

[2106] Beautiful car.

[2107] I have a 65 convertible.

[2108] Do you really?

[2109] Yeah.

[2110] So you know.

[2111] Yeah, they're great cars.

[2112] Beautiful piece of machinery.

[2113] It's crazy look, right?

[2114] The look back then is.

[2115] The top comes off like you just, that right there.

[2116] Wow.

[2117] That's one of the most beautiful cars ever made in the world.

[2118] Is that a 67, Jamie?

[2119] That's what it says?

[2120] God.

[2121] That is incredible.

[2122] Was it called Eleanor before that movie or that come from something?

[2123] I think it came from the movie.

[2124] I think it came from the the movie, right?

[2125] Yeah.

[2126] No, I think it means something.

[2127] I think Eleanor, when you say it backwards, like whatever the acronym is, the, well, find it.

[2128] I think that's what they did.

[2129] I think they took some kind of tuner thing, someone's name, and used it backwards.

[2130] It's like Roanoke.

[2131] Is that it?

[2132] I remember very vaguely the story, how they came up with the name Eleanor.

[2133] Anyway, see if you can find it.

[2134] Yeah, definitely need that.

[2135] Yeah.

[2136] That right there.

[2137] It's a dope fucking car.

[2138] Super dope.

[2139] Maybe I'm thinking the opposite.

[2140] Maybe what I'm thinking of is someone made a car that's like Eleanor, but they spelled it backwards.

[2141] I think that might be it.

[2142] It just says Eleanor is the only Ford 1, Mach 1 in his two, do you see a car title credit.

[2143] Take the word Eleanor and spell it backwards and Google that.

[2144] I think there's a car that they're making where they spell Eleanor backwards.

[2145] I think this is where I'm getting it.

[2146] Hyundai Rolet.

[2147] The new Hyundai Rolet.

[2148] Yeah, what would be Eleanor?

[2149] 2005 Ronale Mustang.

[2150] Ah, see, there it is.

[2151] Yeah, that's what it is.

[2152] That's where I fucked up.

[2153] Yeah, so this is a Mustang that they were spelling Eleanor backwards to make a dope Mustang.

[2154] Oh, okay.

[2155] Okay, not bad.

[2156] Yeah, not bad for a modern car.

[2157] Right.

[2158] Those are fun.

[2159] That's nice.

[2160] Those are like modern muscle cars.

[2161] Look at that shit.

[2162] That's nice.

[2163] Ooh.

[2164] Those cars, like that year, like into the 2015s and 16s when they kept the, they got rid of the live rear axle somewhere around, I want to say like pretty recently, like 2012 or something like that.

[2165] When was the latest Mustang released, the latest model Mustang?

[2166] Before that, they used to have a solid rear axle, like a muscle car.

[2167] It's like a handle terrible.

[2168] But it was fun.

[2169] I would go.

[2170] But you would stomp on the gas and the thing would go sideways.

[2171] It would burn out everywhere.

[2172] It was really like having a modern muscle car with like anti -lock brakes and a stick shift and you buy it from the factory with 550 horsepower.

[2173] It's a ridiculous car.

[2174] Then they got it all the way up to 700 in the last models.

[2175] The last models of the GT 500 were 700 horsepower.

[2176] Front wheel.

[2177] Rear wheel drive.

[2178] Wow.

[2179] Wow.

[2180] 700 horsepower.

[2181] With a solid rear axle.

[2182] That's insane.

[2183] Yeah.

[2184] Big crazy rear axle bouncing all over.

[2185] Every pothole you hit, the car goes sideways.

[2186] I need that, I need that, Eleanor.

[2187] But apparently that's, like, great, though, those old -schooly muscle cars for grip in the ground.

[2188] There's something about having everything all in one fat, the axle in the back.

[2189] Just br -h -h - Right.

[2190] Those two black stripes on the asphalt as you go sideways.

[2191] Love it.

[2192] I love it.

[2193] What did you say you have a 65 Corvette?

[2194] Corvette.

[2195] Man, that's nice.

[2196] I love it.

[2197] It's an old rumble.

[2198] I believe from what I just read that, that car was, only made for, maybe even used in that original movie, and the guy that made at H .B., Toby, Hulicki, wrote, starred, and directed that movie.

[2199] Oh, wow.

[2200] It's his car.

[2201] But I think they made several versions.

[2202] Because I saw a video of them selling one of them.

[2203] They were selling one of them online.

[2204] Yeah, but there's a company called Classic Recreations.

[2205] They make those now.

[2206] They'll make you.

[2207] How you can get a frame?

[2208] Yeah.

[2209] No, they do the whole thing from the beginning out.

[2210] and they make you like a brand new version of a 1967 Mustang, but with modern engine, modern suspension.

[2211] How much is something like that course?

[2212] Expensive as fuck.

[2213] Yeah, I could imagine.

[2214] I could imagine.

[2215] As fuck.

[2216] But if you're some rich dude who just, you know, you look at it.

[2217] You just want one.

[2218] If you have a Lamborghini, you're like, look at this guy's doors go up.

[2219] You know, there's something about that, right?

[2220] The Lamborghini was made for Flosson.

[2221] Ferrari, same thing.

[2222] You pull up.

[2223] Like, look at this.

[2224] motherfucker making it who but if you pull up in one of those things that's that's a different kind of enjoyment that's like you're driving around an art piece exactly you know that's a that's a attention grabber storyteller that's it that's like people are just going to stop you yeah it's like an a plus in terms of like the impact it has on on guys in particular see but girls don't care about that as much like I think I think I think I think that one that one so pretty Dig the long ball, man. That's the long ball.

[2225] That's the long ball.

[2226] That's the long ball.

[2227] That's out of the park.

[2228] That's like, what is that?

[2229] You're like, hey, come take a ride.

[2230] Yeah, pull that photo up again.

[2231] That's silver one.

[2232] The 1967 silver one that you just had up.

[2233] Look at this again.

[2234] Look at that.

[2235] Come on, you pull that up in front of the club?

[2236] Yeah.

[2237] Christ, that's pretty.

[2238] Do you know how much the one from the movie sold for at auction?

[2239] Let me guess.

[2240] $700 ,000.

[2241] $4 million?

[2242] One million.

[2243] Wow.

[2244] The main one.

[2245] From John Wick?

[2246] Or from Elgonne in 60 seconds?

[2247] In John Wick, that's what it was.

[2248] It wasn't the Eleanor one.

[2249] I'm remembering wrong.

[2250] They were selling one of the Mustangs in the movie John Wick.

[2251] He had a 69.

[2252] It wasn't an Eleanor, but he had a nice one.

[2253] He had a 69 that got stolen.

[2254] Right.

[2255] He got a killed his dog and stole the call.

[2256] And then he got a 70 Chevel.

[2257] Cheval.

[2258] That's another one.

[2259] Everybody.

[2260] That's 70 Chevelle too.

[2261] That 70 Chevelle is classic.

[2262] That's a good one.

[2263] Oh, Impala.

[2264] I got to get an Impala too.

[2265] I need an Impala.

[2266] You know it's even more classic than a set?

[2267] Look at that.

[2268] God damn, man. That's a 69.

[2269] I think that's a Mach 1.

[2270] Is that what it is?

[2271] Yeah.

[2272] Hoof, look at that.

[2273] It makes me faint.

[2274] That's fucking pretty.

[2275] I get weak in the legs when I see a car like that.

[2276] I'm like, oh, my goodness.

[2277] Look at that thing.

[2278] That is America.

[2279] It's like two pieces to that thing.

[2280] America.

[2281] Right?

[2282] It's like the front.

[2283] Fuck, yeah.

[2284] yeah they do not drive that good they do not because that looks pretty stock they do not handle very well really nope terrible yeah if you had like a modern honda cord you'll blow that thing off the road like for real that's god damn work of art though you pull up in that thing you take the honda cord i'll take that look at that look how pretty that is that might be one of the best looking cars of all time no that eleanor is yeah top three Go to that one in the upper right -hand corner, young, Jamie.

[2285] Look at that fucking thing.

[2286] Jesus.

[2287] 1969, Mach 1.

[2288] Pow!

[2289] America!

[2290] Dude, Hendrix was alive when this car was out.

[2291] That is a sexy vehicle right there.

[2292] Hendrix died in 69, right?

[2293] You could have been on your way to a goddamn Hendricks concert in that car in 1969.

[2294] You would be the man. Can you imagine?

[2295] You pick up your girl.

[2296] Shit, Hendrix pulled up to the concert net.

[2297] People, you know, people were just different.

[2298] Yeah, Hendricks probably would pull up the concert in that, right?

[2299] That'd be a car Hendricks would drive.

[2300] It was a guitar in the passenger seat.

[2301] Yeah, I found out there was a house that was for sale that Hendricks almost bought it.

[2302] I like?

[2303] In Topanga Canyon.

[2304] I was like, he told me almost bought it.

[2305] It's almost.

[2306] Does it count?

[2307] It's almost, no. He's just to walk through it like, nah, not this one.

[2308] He was apparently on his way to buying it when he died.

[2309] What is that?

[2310] Oh, Stingray, yes, yes.

[2311] T -Tops, son.

[2312] Damn.

[2313] That's Jimmy Hendrix Corvette.

[2314] Holy shit See if you find any other pictures of that thing That's the sexy car This shit looked like a shock God Jimmy Hendrix had a baby blue Corvette That's just a different one But yeah those are crazy looking Go to that other one that was just on that What the fuck is that This is it right here That's so there's only a couple pictures of the car From the top Two Corvettes Damn He had two corvettes Are those both his back to back Is that what we're looking at Two different ones?

[2315] I think that's the same car Oh So, yeah, Jimmy Hendricks knew how to live.

[2316] Old school, man. Dinosaur days.

[2317] Beautiful, beautiful car.

[2318] Yeah.

[2319] What do you drive, Tony?

[2320] I have a Cadillac.

[2321] Ooh, I like it.

[2322] I like it.

[2323] I got a Cadillac.

[2324] Which one you got?

[2325] I got the STS.

[2326] Mine's is old now.

[2327] I was actually going to buy a new car like the next couple of months.

[2328] I don't know what I want.

[2329] They have a crazy new sedan coming out.

[2330] Which one?

[2331] Something V, some big four -door super -powered, all.

[2332] ultra -comfortable.

[2333] No, I've been waiting for, have you seen the El Mirage?

[2334] Can you pull up the Cadillac, El Mirage?

[2335] El Mirage.

[2336] El -M -I -R -A -J.

[2337] I've been waiting four years for this car.

[2338] And every time I go to the auto show, they're like, yeah, it's coming next year.

[2339] So I wait, wait, wait, wait.

[2340] That sounds like a superhero and a Robert Rodriguez movie.

[2341] The El Mirage.

[2342] Look at this, motherfucker.

[2343] Ooh.

[2344] Four years, Cadillac, I've been waiting for this car.

[2345] Whoa.

[2346] Every auto show.

[2347] Yeah, next year.

[2348] That is slick.

[2349] That's a two -door.

[2350] Yes.

[2351] Holy shit.

[2352] shit.

[2353] I've been waiting patiently for this car.

[2354] You know?

[2355] When we were kids, we thought about what cars would look like in the future.

[2356] That's what they would look like in the future.

[2357] Look at the front end of that thing.

[2358] Like the headlights?

[2359] Those are crazy.

[2360] Look at that, man. That has such a futuristic, like pause there for that picture and make that a little bit bigger.

[2361] That has such a futuristic shape to it.

[2362] Look at the leather on the inside.

[2363] And look at that grill.

[2364] Look how that grill integrate.

[2365] But like, this is how girls go with shoes.

[2366] Like, oh, my God.

[2367] Do you see how strappy they are?

[2368] And you say to your girl, like, I don't get it.

[2369] This is it right here.

[2370] You're not going to get it.

[2371] It's so strappy.

[2372] Four years I've been waiting for this car.

[2373] Why are you such a Cadillac, dude?

[2374] My father drove a Cadillac.

[2375] It's a tribute to my dad.

[2376] I like it.

[2377] The last call my pops had before he passed away was a Burgundy Cadillac.

[2378] And I just remember he loved it so much.

[2379] And I didn't, you know, growing up in New York, I didn't need a car.

[2380] When I moved to L .A., I was like, oh, shit, I got to get a car to get around.

[2381] I'm like, what am I going to get?

[2382] Tribute to Dad, Cadillac.

[2383] I love it.

[2384] That's a good move.

[2385] Yeah.

[2386] They make some old school cars, too, that you could actually get fixed up and drive around.

[2387] Yes, yes, yes.

[2388] Like some 70s.

[2389] I'm going to get an oldie and put it in the hands of a caretaker and let them just fix it up.

[2390] Get you one of them.

[2391] Definitely going to do that.

[2392] Two -door Eldorados.

[2393] Nice.

[2394] What color?

[2395] What color?

[2396] I don't know.

[2397] Maybe like a money green.

[2398] Ooh.

[2399] Oh, like, like, like, like, um, like, the Bishop Don Juan.

[2400] Didn't he have a migraine one?

[2401] Well, then scratch that.

[2402] Well, then scratch that.

[2403] We'll go burgundy.

[2404] Because I don't want anybody to mistake me for the bishop's down one.

[2405] I don't want no girl running up at my card at an out burger.

[2406] Like, I got your money, Daddy.

[2407] I like the burgundy.

[2408] I like burgundy, like a little bit of metallic flake to it.

[2409] Nice.

[2410] Oh, yeah.

[2411] That would be nice.

[2412] That would be nice.

[2413] All fresh chrome.

[2414] Got to do it.

[2415] Riding those things, man. I mean, you got to respect the.

[2416] fact that it takes a long time to stop those fuckers?

[2417] Or the convertible El Dorado.

[2418] The convertible El Dorado.

[2419] Oh, look at this.

[2420] We're looking at a 76 convertible Eldorado.

[2421] Oh my God, what a shape.

[2422] Look at that.

[2423] What a shape.

[2424] That was back when they didn't know what the fuck aerodynamics was.

[2425] They're like, what?

[2426] Oh, that's what we're talking about right there.

[2427] Look at that thing.

[2428] What year is that, Jamie?

[2429] 67?

[2430] Yeah.

[2431] God.

[2432] That's nice.

[2433] People just drove these enormous boats.

[2434] Look at the size of the.

[2435] the trunk that's crazy that trunk can fit like a smart car in it yeah you can easily sleep in that trunk no problem that's nice they just went through a period of time where they were making these giant boats like the the suicide door continentally you talked about that's all time classic yeah all the time classic gotta love that yeah that's another one best car is probably ever made you know it's another best car ever made that I would never want to park anywhere a 1968 charger I saw a 1968 Charger all done up.

[2436] Dukes has it?

[2437] It's similar.

[2438] Is that year 68 or 69?

[2439] One of those years.

[2440] Either one of those years is badass.

[2441] But those cars, they were just like sharks, like big, long boats.

[2442] They weren't like in any, like, look at that.

[2443] That's not in any way practical in terms of its shape.

[2444] Like, it's got to be, that wind's got to go into that grill in a weird way and probably slows it down.

[2445] It's like having a little mini parachute in the front of your hood.

[2446] Obviously, I don't know.

[2447] They didn't know about aerodynamics back then.

[2448] Well, I think they knew a little bit.

[2449] Go back to that original picture, man. That original one was beautiful.

[2450] Look at that thing.

[2451] That's what I'm talking about.

[2452] Like, that car just represents a different world.

[2453] That's fast and furious, right?

[2454] Yeah, he had one of those, right?

[2455] Or similar, something similar, similar years.

[2456] There's something about, in 1970 it got weird because then they put the bumper all around the front, like a big oval.

[2457] You ever see that?

[2458] No. What in this car?

[2459] Yeah, pull up 1970 Charger.

[2460] 1970 got weird.

[2461] Like somebody got crafty.

[2462] Look at the front bumper.

[2463] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2464] What did you just do?

[2465] Hey, hey, come here.

[2466] That's like, put it back.

[2467] Yeah, what did you do?

[2468] Put it back.

[2469] You had something.

[2470] Go to the black one.

[2471] Go to the black one right above it.

[2472] Where are the headlights?

[2473] Oh, they roll up.

[2474] They roll up like a 69 Camaro.

[2475] You ever see a 69 Camaro?

[2476] Yeah, they flip.

[2477] Yeah, those things flip.

[2478] That was like the rage back then, man. and people love roll up headlights.

[2479] That's a good picture, Jamie, but the other one's better because you could see the, no, the black one right next to it.

[2480] Because you could see the other black, yeah, that weren't there.

[2481] Because you could see the grill, like, make that, like, a little bigger.

[2482] Like, look how goofy that is.

[2483] Look how goofy that grill is.

[2484] The bumper and the griller, like, it's like got an up bumper and a down bumper.

[2485] Like, what are you doing?

[2486] Why did you do that?

[2487] Don't do that.

[2488] You had it perfect, you fuck.

[2489] Some guy was like, you know, nobody.

[2490] Yeah, that looks, yeah.

[2491] Those people were on Coke.

[2492] It was the 70s.

[2493] They were like, you know what was better?

[2494] Fucking double bumper.

[2495] Let's do it.

[2496] Double bumper.

[2497] Bumper up top, bumper on the bottom.

[2498] It's my thing, bro.

[2499] You're going to push that through to the GM?

[2500] Hey, did you bring up my idea about the double bumper?

[2501] Bumper on top, bummer on the bottom.

[2502] I'm telling you, man, it's the fucking move.

[2503] It's one guy.

[2504] Look at that.

[2505] It just doesn't look as good.

[2506] It still looks badass, though.

[2507] It does.

[2508] It's still badass.

[2509] The original picture was the one.

[2510] Yeah, now go to a 1969.

[2511] 1969 is a sweet spot.

[2512] That's when they nailed it.

[2513] And then they fucked it up.

[2514] They should have made the 1969 charger.

[2515] Ooh.

[2516] Yeah, see, it was doing that.

[2517] That was Tews of Hazard.

[2518] Look at that one, that black one, up on the upper left -hand corner, right there, upper left.

[2519] Yeah, right there.

[2520] Look at that.

[2521] Oh, my goodness.

[2522] What a shape.

[2523] Those people just had a different way of looking at automobiles.

[2524] They weren't confined by all the safety regulations.

[2525] What's the spot, Bob's Big Boy in Burbank when they have the cars out of there?

[2526] I passed by.

[2527] I never stopped in one of them.

[2528] I've been to similar things.

[2529] I've been to the LA Auto Show, too.

[2530] It's pretty interesting.

[2531] But I guess those cars and coffees and things Have you ever done one of those?

[2532] No I heard those are pretty badass People like pull up with weird cars Jay Leno's always showing up At Burbank Well they have them all over the place They have them in fucking Irvine And all over the place People gotta check it up Yeah I do the auto show every year And I ask about the El Mirage And they're like yeah next year You are just obsessed with Cadillacs That's interesting Got to get it So no matter how big you get Cadillacs No I'll have other cars But it's gonna be a caddy But that's your main daily driver probably That El Mirage I've got to get it I like it I like it It's a different It's a different kind luxury car You know And they're really doing it right now too Yep You know what's doing it right The new Lincoln Navigator You see that thing Gigantic The thing is crazy Big man That thing is big It's luxurious Yeah I've ridden them before Yeah They're amazing I got a test drive I haven't driven one But I've ridden as a passenger And one I was like this thing It's badass Yeah I like the new Well it's foreign But that new BMW 7 It's like a couch going down the street It's some insane amount of money It's like $160 ,000 It's the most, there's one version of it That's the most expensive B &W they've ever made And it's supposed to be the most technologically advanced Nice and I like the new The Porsche, the four door Panama Man Nice Nice car I like it a lot Yeah that's the difference between living here And live in New York Living in New York so many people don't have cars You really don't need one Yeah.

[2533] Like, if you have a car in New York, it's a luxury.

[2534] Then you have to find parking, and you go, fuck this car, man. My brother, my brother Kenny had a car for like a summer.

[2535] It was like, man, I got to get up and move it every morning.

[2536] And when I go into the city, I got to find parking.

[2537] He's like, fuck this, man. Yeah.

[2538] And when you drive down the street and you see ones with boots on them, people don't, they don't realize about the boot.

[2539] Oh, you see the tickets just piled up because they'll put a ticket on top of a ticket.

[2540] Yep.

[2541] I don't know.

[2542] In L .A., sometimes people say, hey, if you already have a ticket, they won't put another one.

[2543] I don't know.

[2544] in New York they don't they'll put a ticket on top of a ticket so he was just like a summer what do you have he had a uh that's a different kind of living living with no car living in the city he had a thunderbird he had a fourth thunderbird like a was like a older one or a newer one 2004 oh those were weird yeah he just like fuck this call man too many tickets you know it's weird like that thunderbird didn't really totally work but the challenger worked perfect yeah the new challenger yes yeah people like oh Jesus yeah you nailed it you got it right the Thunderbird, people are like, what are we doing here?

[2545] Is this an old car?

[2546] It's in a new car.

[2547] We don't know.

[2548] Who are we?

[2549] Did they stop making that, right?

[2550] Yep.

[2551] They don't make that anymore.

[2552] Yeah, charges was great.

[2553] I don't think Ford makes anything other than Mustangs and trucks.

[2554] I think they gave up on every single car they made.

[2555] They're bringing the Bronco back.

[2556] I know that.

[2557] Yeah.

[2558] Bringing a Bronco back.

[2559] But I think that was a move they made.

[2560] Would you say, Jamie?

[2561] They have a focus or they stopped making that time?

[2562] I think they decided real recently.

[2563] We're not counting the Ford Focus, man. Does that count?

[2564] We did buy real cars.

[2565] I think recently they said they're going to cancel every car except the Mustang.

[2566] and they're just going to make trucks.

[2567] Really?

[2568] Yeah.

[2569] Yeah, somebody went fucking crazy.

[2570] Well, I think they'd probably make that Ford GT too and limited numbers.

[2571] But yeah, I think they're...

[2572] That's a different company that takes a Mustang and then they put an aftermarket kit on it.

[2573] Oh, yeah?

[2574] Yeah.

[2575] That's Steve Saline's company.

[2576] They do corvettes and a bunch of other shit, too.

[2577] They do a bunch of different...

[2578] It's like Hennessy.

[2579] You ever heard of that Hennessy performance?

[2580] I've heard of Hennessy performance, but what are we talking about?

[2581] Or like Shelby.

[2582] They take these cars and they'll, you know, like say, like they'll do it to El Dorado or not an El Dorado.

[2583] They'll do it to Escalade.

[2584] They'll do it to Corvettes, Mustangs.

[2585] They'll take a regular car and put a thousand horsepower in it.

[2586] Oh, wow.

[2587] And sell it.

[2588] But it's not, I mean, it's not just a Corvette.

[2589] It's a Hennessy Corvette now.

[2590] It's like, you know, like a saline Mustang is like a Shelby Mustang.

[2591] Kind of similar, but Shelby they sell from the four dealerships.

[2592] Some Ford dealerships sell salines.

[2593] Some of them do.

[2594] You can buy them.

[2595] I'll buy a few of them.

[2596] I thought you meant drunk when I'm drunk and my performance on Hennessy.

[2597] Oh, Hennessy.

[2598] Yeah, my Hennessy performance.

[2599] Ford to stop making all passenger cars, except the Mustang.

[2600] I still don't like the Explorer and shit like that.

[2601] Yeah, so they're just doing trucks.

[2602] Yeah.

[2603] And the Bronco, but that's a dope.

[2604] They're going to do one car?

[2605] That's weird.

[2606] That's the bullet car.

[2607] That's the tribute to the Steve McQueen movie.

[2608] That's what that green car is.

[2609] Look at that thing.

[2610] Damn.

[2611] That is gorgeous.

[2612] Great movie, by the way.

[2613] Yeah, it is a great.

[2614] movie they nailed it though see ford nailed it with these mustangs they figured out a perfect way to make a shape that makes you think about old cars but looks like a new car what do they call it an ode to the past yes an ode to the past that's nice young tony rock tony i'm gonna wrap this up we just talked about cars the last time i hope they didn't bore the shit out of you people sorry sorry but people please go see tony rock no bullshit you're one of the funniest guys alive i'm a big fan kansas city improv this weekend is this live right so i'm kansas city Improves.

[2615] Kansas City Improv this weekend.

[2616] Tonyrock .com.

[2617] Tonyrockcom.

[2618] Tony Rockcom.

[2619] Tony underscore Rock on Instagram.

[2620] Whoever is camping on the Tony Rock name, give it up.

[2621] Somebody won't give it up.

[2622] Is it a real Tony Rock?

[2623] Is his name Tony Rock?

[2624] I doubt it.

[2625] I doubt it.

[2626] I think there's only one.

[2627] All right.

[2628] Anyway, man. Thank you so much, man. Thank you.

[2629] Pleasure, bro.

[2630] Appreciate it.

[2631] Thank you.