#205 - Neal Brennan

[0] For Joe Rogan, experience.

[1] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[2] Powerful Nick Diaz representing.

[3] I'm going to go watch Nick Diaz compete in a grappling match, Brian.

[4] You want to come and film it?

[5] It's like May 12th in Long Beach.

[6] Nick Diaz is going to fight Brawio Estima, this world champion Brazilian jiu -jitsu black belt.

[7] They're going to have a grappling -only match.

[8] Weird.

[9] Yeah, it would be dope.

[10] Hey, what is powerful?

[11] you keep you've seen you've texted me powerful everybody powerful it's just like it's just like a little renan it's just sort of a catch -all silly ass well i've said powerful neil brennan and so i'm letting you know you're powerful i'm giving you energy i'm firing you up thank you you know i'm happy to be around you yeah when you say that to someone you're happy to be around them powerful neil brennan right powerful brian redband i don't use it at that much i've used the shit out of that yeah you get about text form yeah you powerfuled me on Yeah, man. Spread out that positivity.

[12] That's what it is.

[13] It sounds corny to say.

[14] Spread out that positive.

[15] I thought it was just sort of sarcastic.

[16] No, it's being silly.

[17] It's fun.

[18] Powerful fun.

[19] Powerful is like, it's like, it's like positive fun.

[20] Okay.

[21] You know?

[22] Like, yeah.

[23] Whoever, name a guy.

[24] Name a guy.

[25] Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

[26] Powerful Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

[27] Where you've been, kid?

[28] Give one.

[29] Give one more.

[30] One more name.

[31] Don't hate on Jonathan Taylor.

[32] JT, come on, man. He's the bomb.

[33] What happens to guys like that?

[34] They did.

[35] to go and do lifetime movies now?

[36] You know, I think he's one of those guys that I think I could be completely wrong that he did the school thing where he's like, you know what, I'm going back to school, I'm doing.

[37] Good for him.

[38] That's the thing to do.

[39] Don't rely on.

[40] I think the kid from Jerry McGuire got into like a DUI.

[41] Oh yeah.

[42] I had a podcasted recently.

[43] Did you really?

[44] Yeah.

[45] He got a DUI and I remember in like an accident and I remember he was driving a Saturn and I was like, come on show business.

[46] couldn't do better than give that fucking kid a Saturn he grew up really good like his parents and him are really close and stuff like that now he's like does jujitsu he's been doing jiu jihitsu since he was a kid okay which kid is this again Jonathan I want to say lip nicky is that who is that yeah yeah that's Hephron's buddy he strangles hefron they do jujitsu together and he kicks his ass apparently he's good he's a real cool guy real nice guy really well brought up listen some guys get through it we had Ricky Schroeder on here.

[47] Remember how nice he was?

[48] He's really, he's almost like evangelical.

[49] He's almost like born again.

[50] He was for a little bit, but he's kind of mellowed off that now.

[51] They were like pretty hardcore.

[52] Well, it's his business, whatever.

[53] But he's a super nice guy.

[54] Yeah.

[55] He's just, and somehow another, he made it through.

[56] You know, he made it through as a fucking, he said, he had a weird way of describing it when he was on the podcast.

[57] He said he has never not been famous.

[58] He goes, it's all I've ever known.

[59] Yeah.

[60] He goes, it's weird and everything, but it's all I've ever known.

[61] Right.

[62] I've had some ups and downs and trying to figure out how to deal with it, but that's his whole life.

[63] Yeah, I guess so.

[64] Fuck, that's nuts.

[65] That was a really fascinating conversation.

[66] Do you, being famous, do you compare it to not being famous very much anymore?

[67] Meaning, like, do you go, like, do you want a day to go, fuck, I wish I could just, I wish it were 1990.

[68] I wish I had the identity of 1990.

[69] No, you know how I look at it?

[70] It's just a bunch of people being nice.

[71] For the most part, It's like, what are you putting out there?

[72] I have opinions about things, and I joke around about things.

[73] Like, the last bad energy that I got was when I was making foot of some dude in the country music awards.

[74] But Homeboy was standing in front of a jet playing a country music song with jeans that had, like, cut rips on them.

[75] Right.

[76] Like, on purpose, like, all over them.

[77] And I was like, come on, that's fucking ridiculous.

[78] You were kidding on them on Twitter?

[79] I couldn't stop goofing on them.

[80] Yeah, and goofing on those jeans.

[81] And then I was even admitting that I wear a fanny pack and I have a, a wallet chain and I'm still goofing on that like that's how stupid those fucking jeans wear like one day we're gonna look back of those jeans this is country music man country music is supposed to be Merle Haggard Johnny Cash and you know that that's like real country music this is like this is not that's not real country you're standing in front of a jet the fuck are you doing in front of a jet what are you doing like in a hangar like he's playing overseas like I'm here for um this is like overseas with the boys I'm getting in front of the jet I suppose troops oh he's like an F -15 yeah exactly And it's like, what, what are you doing there?

[82] I don't know if the whole show was in front of a jet.

[83] They might have done the whole country music awards in front of a jet, which would have been awesome.

[84] Yeah.

[85] I don't know if the sets changed.

[86] You know, I really have no idea.

[87] I only watched it for a little bit, but it was, I made a joke that country music awards hates black people so much.

[88] They won't even use black microphones because it was a red microphone.

[89] I was like, what was the last time you saw a red microphone?

[90] Well, yeah, that is funny because I will shit on stuff online.

[91] And I'm like, well, am I, at a certain, like, we're comics, but then in a certain point, it's like, when do you go?

[92] I don't want to make fun of that.

[93] Or I don't know.

[94] It's hard, man, because I always want to say what's funny and what I would say amongst my friends who wouldn't judge me. Like, we could all be talking, like, perfect example, Amy Schumer, when Amy Schumer was on yesterday, and we were talking to her, we were joking around about her mother possibly being a cunt.

[95] And I'm like, how often do you, you know, you can just always go.

[96] there when you're with a bunch of comics and you're all just sitting around shit on each other you could always go to some terrible place and we don't really think you mean it you're not going to call you on it we know you're just trying to be funny by saying something fucked up but that's yeah that's like with the we talked about at the N word last time but I was I was thinking about how comics I was thinking today how my brother Kevin comedian Kevin Brennan and Atel when I was like in high school had a joke where if they would like be on the phone and they go like hey what's the weather like and it'd be like it's raining and they'd be like fucking diggers like somehow the black people control the weather which is so stupid and hilarious right hilarious because they didn't mean it no of course you don't mean it and also the idea you're making fun of the idea that but most people just don't get iron it's so they just don't get iron but they won't they're not able to look at life with layers right and they can't see that at the bottom of it it's supposed to be about intent you know and this is this is not just about white guys that are throwing yeah yeah no it's just like or like you'll just go like what a cunt yeah you got to know when someone is joking when it's obvious there's I mean there's some people some people will say things in a crowd and like you'll be the only one that laughs and they'll be like eight or nine people that are really pissed off yeah come on the guy he's right he said something like Gilbert with the with the with the with the guy go out and all the Gilbert's jokes about the tsunami were fucking hilarious.

[97] They were humble because I was, as he was following, I was watching them in real time going like, boy, these are fucking funny jokes.

[98] And then he got in trouble.

[99] Oh, well, he went too quick.

[100] He went too quick.

[101] No, I know, but that's the level.

[102] You couldn't even do that now.

[103] You can't do tsunami jokes now.

[104] But they, if you couldn't do it now because people don't remember it.

[105] Did you hear about the Florida Marlins guy who got suspended for five?

[106] about that it's so ridiculous i'm so because i actually twittered yesterday like shouldn't he be protected by the first amendment tell people the story the story was he said that in he gave it spent first of all everything he says is fucking bat shit crazy he's got one of the funniest twitter feed ever like is his twitter what is he ozzi i e g u i l -e -n but go back like two months because he just go like A, just so...

[107] G -L - what?

[108] G -U -I -L -E -N.

[109] Anyway, he said something in an interview where...

[110] And he's great because he just won't apologize for shit.

[111] So he said something in an interview in Time Magazine, in Español, that he admired Castro.

[112] Now, what he was saying was, he admired him because the guy...

[113] I admire Castro in certain respect.

[114] The fact that...

[115] Astros outlasted this many people.

[116] As a comic, I'm like, that's fucking hilarious.

[117] Like, the entire world is against this guy.

[118] And he's like, no, you can send me exploding cigars.

[119] Nope.

[120] You can fucking, I mean, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a bad motherfuckerhead.

[121] It's, it's, uh, but the fact that I respect his endurance, a guy that can last 60 years.

[122] Yeah.

[123] Like, like, and, well, he even, he, I mean, he even said he's a bad motherfuckerucker.

[124] Oh, yeah, no, exactly.

[125] that's the words he used.

[126] He said he's a bad motherfucker.

[127] I think, you know, he's just a lot.

[128] Joey Diaz will say the same shit, and Joey Diaz is born in Cuba.

[129] He'll tell you, he looks like Castro's a bad motherfucker.

[130] He's still running shit down there.

[131] Yeah, that's how, yeah, it's like when Bill Maher said that the, so anyway, he got suspended five games, the coach of a baseball team for saying that Castro was great or something.

[132] Was a bad motherfucker because he was saying that he's been in power for so many years and people have tried to remove him.

[133] He's a bad motherfucker.

[134] Yeah, that's all he said.

[135] Yeah.

[136] didn't say like he's doing wonderful things and he's misunderstood and I agree with his political strategy no he just said he's a bad motherfucker yeah you're telling me that a guy who's in professional sports can't call a guy who's a dictator for how about long as he'd be in a dictator 60 years yeah you can't call that guy a bad motherfucker yeah well that's the thing is like can you call gingas kong a bad motherfucker people right yeah that wouldn't be a problem at all you know why gingis kong is dead right and none of his victims are alive exactly and also there's not a huge Chinese contingent of Marlin fans.

[137] That's the biggest problem.

[138] That's the biggest problem.

[139] Is that most of the fans of the Marlins are Cuban ex -pat.

[140] Not most, but a lot of the, like, self -worthy.

[141] And they would agree with him.

[142] What he said wasn't out of line.

[143] He wasn't in support of Castro.

[144] He was acknowledging that this guy, you know, look at, look, when people talk about Al Capone, they don't speak in glowing terms.

[145] Right.

[146] But they go, you know, the Al Capone stories of Chicago are pretty legendary.

[147] Yeah.

[148] Al Capone was a bad motherfucker.

[149] Yeah.

[150] He was obviously an evil person.

[151] You know, happy he's dead, all that good.

[152] stuff.

[153] Well, yeah, that's the thing.

[154] It's like, people like Michael Corleone.

[155] Yeah, what the fuck?

[156] But, yeah, they like story, they like theoretically.

[157] Tony Soprano is great.

[158] Yeah.

[159] I love Tony.

[160] But they don't like.

[161] But that's the thing I want, I, I think is interesting is how far.

[162] Darth Vader, he even killed Ewox by people think he's a bad motherfucker.

[163] Oh, yeah.

[164] King Kong stepped on people.

[165] He's a charming, he's an anti -hero.

[166] Fucking, you want him the greatest anti -hero all the time?

[167] Hanibal Lecter.

[168] Fucking eight people.

[169] Right.

[170] At the end of fucking having an old friend of dinner and you're, I'm having an old friend for dinner and you're like, You fucking right, you're going to have an old friend for dinner.

[171] That is my motherfucker right there.

[172] He's the original Spider -Man.

[173] That fucking awful.

[174] But the question is how far, like, so that speech is not protected.

[175] Because I actually Twittered, like, is he not protected by the first moment?

[176] And they were like, no, it only protects you from.

[177] Because I said, and if you criticize Castro in Cuba, you get punished.

[178] And if you compliment him in America, you get punished.

[179] Which is like, so that's freedom, kind of.

[180] and people were saying well it's his First Amendment right it's protected the government he can't get arrested for it but if you sign a contract your company can say whatever they want but it's odd because like but if you got transgender surgery they couldn't fire you or suspend you or you know what I mean like there's shit that you can do that's protected if you say transgender surgery whatever if you did something crazy.

[181] I think there's like certain things are legal.

[182] Certain things are protected if you went to like a like if you if someone marched for against fucking getting or marched or like Occupy Wall Street.

[183] Right.

[184] For instance.

[185] They could get fired I guess.

[186] By this logic it's like if you say I like Castro and then if you say I want to occupy Wall Street you could get fired and there's nothing you can do about it, which just kind of feels odd to me. Well, he didn't get fired.

[187] He got suspended for five years.

[188] But without pay, I'm assuming.

[189] Yeah, I think the idea is that he obviously has an enormous voice as opposed to a regular guy with a regular job, and that what he's saying is influential and that they can't show support of it because it's, you know, it's...

[190] Right, but what's the difference between that and LeBron and those guys putting their hood up and releasing that picture?

[191] I think there's a big difference.

[192] But what is it?

[193] Because I don't know what the difference.

[194] this.

[195] Well, I mean, one is in resistance to what they think is an injustice that was committed by a guy who's a bit sketchy.

[196] Right.

[197] And, you know, and they want to make sure that someone's brought to justice.

[198] And the other one is a guy expressing his, you know, his beliefs that a dictator.

[199] That guy is pretty wild.

[200] But I admire one, I don't understand that connection.

[201] I admire one aspect of that guy's personality is what they're saying.

[202] They're saying, he is what, is what.

[203] They're just giving him his props.

[204] I don't even think they're admiring.

[205] No, I'm saying Guillen is saying I'm giving, I admire, like, I admire the part of him that has lasted this long.

[206] Yeah.

[207] That's the bad motherfucker part.

[208] Yeah.

[209] He's a bad motherfucker.

[210] He's a, he's a don, he's whatever.

[211] Managed to stay in control as a dictator so long, you know, it's amazing how long.

[212] When you hear about like a Kim Il Young, that whatever his name was, Kim Jong -il, the guy who died.

[213] And you think about how long that guy and what kind of damage that guy and his fucking regime has done to that point.

[214] poor country.

[215] Yeah.

[216] You're like, wow, it's amazing what someone can do.

[217] That, that actually can, you know, you watch Game of Thrones?

[218] You ever watch that?

[219] I don't watch it.

[220] When you think about the idea of kings, you know, it's amazing that someone still to this day can rock it king style, you know, but there are guys, like Castro's rocking at king style.

[221] You can call him whatever you want.

[222] That's the goddamn king of Cuba.

[223] You know, you look at Kim John Hill.

[224] That's the goddamn king of North Korea.

[225] I don't care what you want to call him.

[226] President, El Wonderful, El Greatness.

[227] you know, the honorable, whatever you want to call him.

[228] Okay, I guess my question to the LeBron thing is...

[229] It's an alpha male.

[230] Right.

[231] I get that, but I'm saying, at what point would LeBron and the heat get, where does it cross the line to, like, we can suspend you?

[232] Why would that ever make them be able to be suspended ever?

[233] What if they said, I like Cass, I respect Castro?

[234] They didn't even say anything.

[235] No, but I'm saying...

[236] No, but I'm saying how far, at what point does it become objectionable if you're not doing...

[237] You say you like a dictator.

[238] Hitler, of course, is the obvious.

[239] Everybody, that's the, when you like a dictator or you stand in support of a kid that was wearing his hood.

[240] I mean, I'm not making a false equivalency.

[241] I'm just wondering, where does one become objectionable?

[242] If he had said, I kind of like Castro.

[243] There's so many people that are in support of the Trayvon.

[244] Martin, what's his name?

[245] Trevon Martin, yeah.

[246] Trayvon Martin and this George Zimmerman character that they just arrested today.

[247] There's so many people in support of an investigation into that.

[248] And there's so many people that felt like injustice had occurred and that that kid had gotten killed and that it could all have been avoided.

[249] There were so many people that would, it's like, it becomes the court of public opinion.

[250] Right, but that's the thing.

[251] It's almost the court of public opinion is like, we almost live in like a snitchocracy where it's like, ha, like the guy released a keynote video.

[252] and then we're like literally you can almost feel people's pleasure when that guy was jerking off on the sidewalk we're like fucking we got another one we fucking we fucked you up so badly with just scrutiny I feel like the light has never been the hotter like the cultural spotlight of like yes we're all and it becomes low hanging fruit to make fun of this guy the Connie guy right of like fucking you didn't have your fucking back straight and Connie she'd done this four years ago and yeah But if you even have it in you somewhere that you might get to a point where you're running around naked, jerking off in the street, acting gay as fuck, I'd like to see that, please.

[253] Okay?

[254] And I'm happy when some pressure cooker situation out some fucking crazy bitch, because that's what that guy is.

[255] Because you can do that to me all the way long.

[256] Unless you're dosing me up, I'm not running through the streets jerking off naked.

[257] That's never come up.

[258] There's never been a day where that's even been a consistent.

[259] I agree with you think it's good you think that's good you think it's like cultural vetting is like that is most certainly he failed that he failed life's intelligence test 100 % he failed in several factors he failed first of all by making this this whole campaign which was not quite informed or what wasn't quite accurate with the facts of like where this guy was the time and what had been done and what's being done right now and then on top of it there was a huge amount of money that wasn't going to the actual cars.

[260] Some insane amount of money.

[261] And then there was the other dude who was his partner, who was joking around about it, and they caught him on video joking around.

[262] There was so many things about it where it just screamed, like, a brilliant plan.

[263] They concocted a brilliant plan to disguise a money -making venue, venture, rather, inside some sort of a charitable organization.

[264] That's what everybody got upset about.

[265] Right.

[266] But I feel like there was, that was, if it's a football field, I'm on the four.

[267] yard line of thinking it was basically good.

[268] Do you know what I mean?

[269] I thought it was more good than bad.

[270] I think it certainly generated money that wouldn't have been generated without it.

[271] Right.

[272] And awareness.

[273] Towards that cause.

[274] You know, it goes to where do you think it should be?

[275] Should it be a regulation thing?

[276] Or should it be just a court of public opinion?

[277] It's like, I don't want to compare these to it because they're two very different things.

[278] But in a sense, it's the same.

[279] Louis C .K. released a comedy special online for five bucks.

[280] now that means that no one can release a comedy special for 20 bucks you can't do it online because Louis CK who is widely recognized one of the very best if not the best stand up working today he said five bucks for his shit right so that means it's five bucks for your shit right and that's how that's I think that's a good way to establish it right I think that's that's a good way and this is your way of saying that you're going to start charging for the Joe Rogan podcast no I'm saying the court of public opinion with this guy looked at it and said okay we think it's a good cause to shine the light on someone who definitely did some terrible shit.

[281] So there's a lot of good in what you did.

[282] But why are you making so much money off that?

[283] That's what the court of public opinion is said about this guy.

[284] And that's where the scrutiny cracked them.

[285] And that's when he ran out naked.

[286] I would venture that no one really gave a fuck about the kids to begin with.

[287] It was like a nice story.

[288] You just go, yeah, but meanwhile, there's homeless fucking kids outside my window.

[289] And I'm like, hey, look at the...

[290] You should move.

[291] They were invisible kids anyway.

[292] Yeah, I think no one really cared.

[293] I don't think anyone really cared about the plight of the kids because there's plenty.

[294] I think it's like a story that you go, hey, did you hear the story?

[295] And then you get engaged.

[296] So you think.

[297] And so I think that people never really cared.

[298] And then I also think people never really cared that he was making money.

[299] I think there was a fringe of people that truly care about kids' rights and African issues and shit like that.

[300] And there's a sliver of people that care about.

[301] transparency in fundraising operations.

[302] And then everybody else is just like, where are we going now?

[303] Fuck them.

[304] Fuck this guy.

[305] I honestly think that this is what happens.

[306] People care, but they have their own life to deal with.

[307] And that's where it really comes in.

[308] There's a lot of people that, yeah, I care about Africa.

[309] Of course I do.

[310] When I look at this idea that you see these children living in fucking dirt huts and no water and it's 2012.

[311] Most of the world is in awful shit.

[312] It's terrible, of course.

[313] Third of the world, straight up.

[314] Anthony Bourdain did some show on Mozambique, you know, and he was traveling through Mozambique, and I'm watching the show.

[315] I'm like, this is crazy, man. They have no running water.

[316] They have no electricity.

[317] They have no nothing.

[318] They have, like, these grass shacks.

[319] You know, these, I mean, they're essentially living not much differently than people live thousands and thousands and thousands of years ago.

[320] And they're getting by.

[321] I mean, they're having kids, and they're getting enough food to eat, and they're keeping the whole process going.

[322] But you're like, wow.

[323] That's, that's, it's amazing that in 2012, that's going, I do care.

[324] But then you also have your own fucking life.

[325] Oh, you care, but it's like, what can I, it's such a massive problem.

[326] I feel like every, I'm sorry, I feel like everybody, I play footsie with Brian.

[327] I feel like everyone has something that they're compelled to do in this life.

[328] And I think that some people are compelled to charity.

[329] And I think those people should do charity.

[330] You know, I don't, I don't think it's a selfish thing to pursue.

[331] your own goals entirely and to only try to be around and experience of things that you're actually enjoying in this life.

[332] I think there's people that are not compelled to do that and they should be allowed to do that and they should be allowed to pursue charities.

[333] Oh, absolutely.

[334] Donate money and I do.

[335] But I can't get involved to the point where it eats my life up because I think it would.

[336] It would easily.

[337] I could easily get my life eaten up by trying to help kids.

[338] If you you helped a bunch of kids and you saw them, you know, get over something, certain illnesses, you famine, whatever, if you actually were there and experienced it with them and then kept going and then became friends with them and had some sort of relationship with those kids, Jesus Christ, it would completely consume your life.

[339] He'd be like, I got to help Africa.

[340] Well, that's what the, what's his name?

[341] That's what apparently the deal was.

[342] Yeah, if you loved them, if they became like your little brothers and sisters.

[343] And Clooney is like that with Sudan.

[344] Oh, my God.

[345] Of course, of course.

[346] I mean, the real issue is.

[347] we need to get our own fucking politicians to do that what about what do you make of the pressure cooker though what do you make of the thing like until like when Zimmerman was gone I thought oh he's going to kill himself yeah I'm surprised Jerry Sandusky hasn't killed himself Jerry Sandusky's a horrible person oh he's a complete scumbag there aren't some I'm these are bad examples I think the I think people that just get torn like celebrities that get TMZ to the point where they just attack camera people well there's certain and you see them like you just they just can't take it anymore.

[348] And I don't consider it vetting.

[349] I just consider it it's like if the cultural metabolism is so out of control.

[350] Yeah.

[351] I think there's certainly that.

[352] I think people are also so angry.

[353] They're looking for an enemy.

[354] You know, people are so angry at the economy.

[355] There's something like 40 % of all kids that live between 18 and I think 34 of their they're living with their parents.

[356] Children in their 30s.

[357] Yeah.

[358] They're living with their parents.

[359] 40%.

[360] Yeah.

[361] that's like heaven that's that's that's like that's like let me nap and make me cereal mom are you like in my house I just want to clean my house take my dog for walks silly you live in America you lucky bitch uh yeah Mozambique go watch it watch it you won't be such a whiny bitch you're like oh well you're lucky high speed internet you're lucky because you got that shit like that dust as a grown adult dusting and cleaning the toilet it's such it's so Mozambique dude watch the episode it's good for you Mozambique you can learn a lot Watch the Anthony Bourdain show that we were just talking about.

[362] The guy that was the thumb ring.

[363] He used to.

[364] He tweeted about it.

[365] I tweeted him.

[366] Bordane.

[367] I said that he was the only guy that I've ever met with a thumb ring that I didn't want to strangle.

[368] But he said, I got rid of that show a long time ago.

[369] And he wrote age limit for that shit in the hashtag.

[370] Yeah, but doesn't he also have one of those tribal things around his belly button?

[371] Or was that somebody else?

[372] No, he doesn't have a thing around his belly button.

[373] He might.

[374] He might.

[375] Who is that that has a snake?

[376] No, he's got a snake.

[377] him and his wife both have a snake on their arm it might be him yeah tribal right there's something about doing a tattoo around your belly butt and makes me go so awful and having like one those dangy piercings he like little dangling ones and with a dangly one has any guy ever pulled that off no but it would be awesome okay here's here's my question please the the question is guy like Ozigian I think it's bad that he gets fined I think he it's bad I think it's ultimately bad for the country just wish people could it's people are not corporate fucking spokespeople do you know what i mean and that's the thing is everyone's become that we talked about the tracy thing last time and everyone's just in a constant state of a pot anytime you tweet something there's like how the fuck can you say that you know and it's like so yeah well we were we were you know like and i and i and i and i you're struggling as a kind of guy that's never going to apologize for anything you say i don't think.

[378] Well, you know, I'll let people know what my attentions are.

[379] I'm not going to apologize.

[380] But if I, like, I wasn't going to apologize to people that were mad that I said the guy was a silly bitch for wearing ripped jeans.

[381] Right.

[382] Fake ripped jeans.

[383] That's just what it is.

[384] What were they, and what was their case?

[385] They're mad at me. For what?

[386] You're jealous.

[387] Oh, you guess your career is in the toilet.

[388] You need to get attention this way.

[389] There's a lot of that.

[390] There's a lot of they want to point out how your career is in the shit are.

[391] most so i guess someone needs me meanwhile i got more twitter friends than him hey how about that bitch just called joe fat that works the best yeah fat is a good one we were at the comedy store one night some chick was on camera we we caught it on camera some chick wouldn't stop calling me fat and he pulls up like what are you talking about six pack he pulls up his shirt that hurts that hurts that hurts though because you think about chappelle used to call me fat boy jokingly that's preposterous no i know but it was next to him i text technically was had fat and like so it gets you a little crazy fat is a big one for me this was a girl that was trying to make me feel bad it was like this doesn't even make sense you owned her so hard it was like a scene in a movie it was it was a douchey movie that's like you were the villain that's supposed to pull out your six -pack right something about showing someone your abs always did she stand down or no she got rocked she just yeah turned into jello what did she was like uh yeah the kid's shredding come on what did she say the yeah but do you want i just don't i don't want people to turn into every not everyone's running for office just put out good shit man i agree put out put out good energy but then if you want to make fun of a guy's pants yeah you put it's but i was saying that's the only bad thing that i ever get back i get that most of the time it's all positive you put out good shit and you get good shit back you put out good energy get you get it back that's about what do you i just think it's like you know marg it's going to be fired for, I mean, he got fired 10 years ago, but who?

[392] Bill Mar. Bill Mar. Oh, yeah.

[393] And even the Rush Limbaugh thing, like Rush Limbaugh is a piece of shit as far as I'm concerned so I just don't listen to him, but I, and losing advertisers, I get, I guess it's just, I don't know.

[394] If you don't know the Rush Limbo story, there was a girl who was trying to get the government, state, whoever the fuck pays that insurance that she was getting.

[395] Who has, who?

[396] It was Georgetown University.

[397] Okay.

[398] She wanted them to pay for her birth control.

[399] Right.

[400] And Rush Limbo As part of her health care.

[401] As part of her health care.

[402] And Rush Limbaugh had argued that if our tax dollars were going to go to it, then we should be able to watch you have sex.

[403] That was like...

[404] If you have so much sex.

[405] Yeah.

[406] Like, we should be able to watch.

[407] That should be, you know, basically she's a prostitute.

[408] Yeah.

[409] Like, you're having sex for money.

[410] Doesn't he do bas salts?

[411] I mean, he's a big drug guy, right?

[412] Well, he was doing, he was doing mad oxies.

[413] Yeah.

[414] To the point where he went deaf.

[415] Alex Jones described me the process of oxycon, an overdose that actually makes guys go deaf.

[416] Because do you remember when Rush went deaf?

[417] No. I mean, I remember when he was big into Oxy, but...

[418] He went deaf.

[419] He went to the point where his show suffered because he couldn't hear what people were saying to him sometimes, and he couldn't understand it.

[420] He couldn't hear his own voice.

[421] So it didn't sound right.

[422] It sounded off.

[423] And it went for a long time before he got an operation.

[424] And then he got it fixed.

[425] And they did something.

[426] I think they gave him an inner ear plant.

[427] I think he's got an implant.

[428] God, that's awesome.

[429] Just from...

[430] Just from...

[431] Oxi.

[432] Oxid's going deep, son.

[433] They said he was up to over 90 a day.

[434] God damn it.

[435] Oh, my goodness.

[436] Oh, my goodness.

[437] 90 fucking pills a day, homeboy was cranking.

[438] The orphaned...

[439] I wish I had that housekeeper to get him and shit.

[440] He was getting all kinds of different doctors to hook him up.

[441] You know, it gets me. Have you done shit like that?

[442] No, no, no, no. I'm sure it would get you, though.

[443] I have no doubt in my mind that the oxycontins would get me. I think they get everybody.

[444] I mean, I think I would be strong and I would get off them.

[445] But I definitely think that if I was hanging around with a bottle of them and a swollen foot, and I took one and also I'm like, oh, this is awesome.

[446] And then you get hooked really quick.

[447] No one has anything really bad to say about it other than the addiction.

[448] Like, no one has any experience.

[449] Yeah.

[450] I've heard someone say it made them really nauseous.

[451] But that's what heroin does to a lot of people.

[452] Right.

[453] It makes them really nauseous.

[454] That's the only thing, but they say it feels amazing.

[455] Just, it's fucking heroin.

[456] I feel like I get hooked on COVID.

[457] or speed.

[458] I've never even tried Coke or speed.

[459] I've barely seen it.

[460] I've maybe seen it for a dozen times.

[461] That's probably too many.

[462] Whoa, I just remembered, dude.

[463] I had a crazy -ass dream about you, buddy.

[464] That's not real Coke, ladies gentlemen.

[465] It's powdered sugar.

[466] We didn't have sugar for coffee, but I had powdered sugar.

[467] Which doesn't really work.

[468] Yeah, it didn't seem like it did anything.

[469] It never goes down.

[470] Yeah, it's funky.

[471] I had a fucked up dream about you, dude.

[472] Sweet.

[473] What is it?

[474] You were doing marijuana mixed with meth.

[475] and you were telling me that it's the latest thing that kids do, they smoke marijuana and meth together.

[476] I was like, what are you talking about?

[477] And you were like, well, I would never smoke meth by itself.

[478] Mead, yeah.

[479] You were like, I would never smoke meth by itself.

[480] But when I mix them together, dude, it's amazing.

[481] And I was like trying to get you to stop smoking meth.

[482] Wow.

[483] You were hooked on meth.

[484] Would you say mead?

[485] Mead?

[486] Is that what it would be called?

[487] Yeah.

[488] Did you just make that up?

[489] No. Yeah, I did.

[490] Yeah, but I mean, that might actually be what it is.

[491] Could you imagine if I started something?

[492] I don't think meth and we, I think.

[493] I think meth would completely overpower it.

[494] I would imagine.

[495] Wouldn't be funny though if like somehow another marijuana became a white knight in your brain fighting off the meth consciousness and you see a fucking virtual battle of the positive and negative substances doking it out in your head?

[496] Because if you take like meth with mushrooms, how does that work?

[497] I don't know.

[498] You know what's funny is I had an ex that did, she was a meth addict before we dated and she's all that stuff about all that stuff.

[499] She's like, my teeth were great.

[500] She goes, my skin.

[501] never looked better like it wasn't bad she hadn't gotten that deep yet yeah it takes a while before your body turns into a fucking prune yeah it takes a while some people doesn't some people just fucking they turn and it's like that'll do it she was she a functional method uh vague I didn't know her I think vague not especially she here's an irony she lived you know how you always hear about Indians living off of casinos she lived off of a casino wow she was Native American Seminole.

[502] She lives off the hard rock in the one that Anna Nicole died in.

[503] Oh shit.

[504] The one in Fort Lauderdale.

[505] Did you ever play like Cowboy and Indian with her?

[506] We would get in some pretty...

[507] Pretend that she...

[508] I conquered her land.

[509] I actually I moved into her place.

[510] Did you?

[511] Gave her a blanket with smallpox on it.

[512] Nice.

[513] No, we never...

[514] It was actually a good Relating.

[515] We were in love, Joe.

[516] What happened?

[517] She started going to black clubs to going to she started going to she started getting her master's in psychology she started getting her master's in psychology and at the beginning of the class the teacher was like yo just so you know none of your relationships are going to last.

[518] Wow.

[519] And she said that and she was like somebody else broke up today somebody else broke up today and then slowly but surely it was like six months in we were kind of done because she was just uncovering stuff about herself and like I didn't you know she liked women she hates men like just stuff that was like oh she likes women and she hates uh she wanted to date women oh shit by herself and uh by because i asked if we could do it together um bam she wanted she yeah she wanted to date women and she's like i fucking hate men oh that's why no it's all of us all of us uh for now but that's a mess anybody who says they hate women's a cunt.

[520] If you're a guy and you're like, oh, I hate women.

[521] I hate women.

[522] Well, get the fuck away to me, you crazy bitch.

[523] You hate everyone of a certain gender.

[524] Well, guess what?

[525] Same thing if you hate men.

[526] Go fuck yourself.

[527] You dumb bitch.

[528] You think I asked to be born a man?

[529] You know, just relax.

[530] You would have.

[531] Not everyone's an ass.

[532] You would have been asked.

[533] For sure.

[534] Being a man's way better.

[535] Especially being a manly man. Yeah, I mean, to be a real Joe Rogan type man. You can't get mad at someone for their gender, you silly asshole.

[536] That's interesting.

[537] And it's accepted.

[538] But women are allowed to say she had a case.

[539] Oh, dude, I've had conversations with women before that have said, you know, men this and men that.

[540] And I'm like, God damn, can you give me a chance?

[541] Yeah.

[542] I'm a person, you know?

[543] Everyone's just a person.

[544] You're throwing me into half the planet.

[545] Yeah.

[546] It's just so ridiculous.

[547] And to say that you've got to figure it out.

[548] I mean, she didn't mean like she hates all men everywhere.

[549] She just, you could live.

[550] It's like, I have deep -seated mistrust of men.

[551] You could live in an intelligent.

[552] relationship.

[553] Meaning like I haven't had any positive she hadn't had any positive male deep relationships.

[554] Well you know how fucking old was she?

[555] How many people had she been around?

[556] She's 47 years young.

[557] No she was I don't know even if she was 47 years old.

[558] She could have been stuck in some stupid spots she was in a lot of bad spots.

[559] Therapy's pretty fucked up anyway this girl I did it in college same thing she was a fucking mess like alcoholic just crazy always getting in fights with her family and all these other people and then she went to the therapist and every time she would come back she goes like therapist tells me we need to break up that you're just a really bad person and I'm like well he's probably full of shit he probably tells a really distorted but that's not using therapy the right way stupid asshole or you're a bad person you could live right you could live a thousand lives as a man and still not understand what it would be to live a life of a woman you don't understand it you're not a woman and as soon as a guy understands that and accepts that he'll be way happier.

[560] When you try to make a woman think like a man, that shit is impossible.

[561] The same as a man trying to think like a woman.

[562] It's fucking impossible.

[563] I think both are guilty.

[564] I actually think women are slightly more guilty of trying to get men to think like women.

[565] Yes.

[566] Well, if they have pussy and there's more power than that.

[567] Yeah, they can just go like, you need to, you need to change a way.

[568] If a guy does that, he's like a dick.

[569] Yeah.

[570] And whenever a guy is in a good relationship that I admire, the girls' friends hate him.

[571] ha ha ha right where it's like because he's such a fucking asshole he's happy he gets to do what he wants and it's like yeah that's he has he has i used to say to girls uh i you're making me feel like a guest in my own life where and that would that would get them where they were like i understand what you mean now because it was like yo i don't i wasn't looking for a coach yeah i wasn't looking for like someone i need someone to come in and fucking change my taste and change my interest and change my wardrobe and my diet and just like but they do I think some women try to think that that's like a way to go well I think there's also a struggle for power that goes on with people in relationships everyone you know thinks they should be the one that decides where we go and what to do and some people take that shit more serious than others and some people are just not very intelligent or emotionally developed and so they run on crude tracks and they just fucking and bang into each other every time they have a relationship.

[572] Cars just slam into each other and they argue about shit and then they make up and that's all those stupid fucks live their life.

[573] Yeah.

[574] I think there's a lot of that.

[575] I think what percentage of people do you think are stupid?

[576] It's a giant number.

[577] 80?

[578] I'm in it.

[579] I mean, I always, look, I had a whole bit that I used to do about how people like to think they're smart.

[580] But really we're just buying shit from smart people and memorizing shit that smart people have already figured out.

[581] This is this gigantic body of knowledge and anybody thinks they're smart it's dumb as fuck well that's what I was I had this argument the other day about don't you want to live forever to learn everything I do who knows you say that but what if after this is way better you know there is no after this yeah you don't know that I don't you're talking nonsense I get a feeling you're talking complete nonsense I get a sense would you sense based on what I did just there was nothing it's going back to where I was which is before 73 I don't think any of it ends I think it changes I think it all become something completely different and energy never dies off.

[582] It just moves on to another state.

[583] And I think that the whole cycle of the universe, we want to think of it as like there was a birth to the universe and there's going to be an end of the universe.

[584] That's why they think of the big bang.

[585] Oh, there was at one point in time, it was smaller than the head of a pin, and there was a giant burst.

[586] I think it's never ending.

[587] And I think that our ideas of it are all based on our own biological limitations.

[588] And I think the biological life is a trip.

[589] I think it's an experience.

[590] the biological life doesn't necessarily represent what is possible in reality.

[591] And I think it's one stage of existence.

[592] And I think we've probably had other stages of existence.

[593] I think our real true consciousness, it gets wrapped around language and it gets wrapped around culture and it gets wrapped around personal experiences and how they interpret them and how they remember shit that other people have figured out and written down.

[594] But at the end and the root of that, that could take place in 100 ,000 million different forms.

[595] It doesn't have to exist as a human animal making noise with your mouth.

[596] That consciousness could exist in other dimensions.

[597] That consciousness, whatever the fuck it is that's at the underlying energy that makes the body move in certain directions and choose to manipulate objects.

[598] Whatever the fuck that is, at the root of all that, could exist as a dolphin, could exist as a killer whale, could exist as a, you know, some really smart octopus.

[599] Who the fuck knows?

[600] I think for sure what we are right now is in an evolving species.

[601] It's changing.

[602] It's becoming something different.

[603] Look, man. I hope you're right.

[604] I hope, because I am going to die.

[605] Yes.

[606] I just hope there's an afterpoint.

[607] I think we're becoming something different and along the way I think whatever the fuck it is that the human race is going to eventually evolve into.

[608] I think we're on some sort of a crazy cycle.

[609] That's what I think.

[610] I think we're on some sort of an infinite loop cycle.

[611] And I think our limited interpretation of like people dropping off the face of the earth and disappearing and leaving our lives, it leads us to believe that this is it.

[612] This is this one thing and this is it.

[613] You breathe and one day your heart will stop beating and then it ends.

[614] Maybe.

[615] Maybe you're a fucking caterpillar that's going to become a butterfly.

[616] Rain drop.

[617] Maybe you're some weird fucking animal that travels dementia.

[618] to dimension in completely different forms.

[619] We've seen that happen in physical state in life.

[620] We've seen caterpillars and salamanders and all these fucking different things become a completely different thing.

[621] We've seen them physically metamorph and change.

[622] Why would we assume that consciousness couldn't do exactly the same thing?

[623] Why wouldn't we assume that reality can't do exactly the same thing?

[624] I think it's super possible that we're some crazy technological Caterpillar, and that we're going to one day press some fucking button.

[625] I hope you're right.

[626] And all of our experiences of life and death and love and infatuation and fascination and appreciation and all those different things are really just it's just more motivation for you to keep moving forward and forward and forward to push this technological machine that society runs on.

[627] The real, the real underpinnings what's really impacting the universe.

[628] It's not People magazine and Kim Kardashian's ass But that is there to distract you long enough to keep buying the new droids And the more technology we create and the more minerals we mine And the more we push the boundaries of what we can do and control in the universe The more we get closer to whatever the fuck we're becoming Completely locked into an addiction with our cell phones and our computers If I'm online If I'm like in a hotel and the the internet goes out for an hour I fucking panic I started doing a joke the other day about how my phone has completely turned me into a dick I'm a fucking asshole I mean as far as like being rude in conversations just fucking like fuck you companion I'm I got everyone else in front of me and I'm rather spent time with them I have enough girls pictures on my phone I was telling redband that I could publish two months of a magazine girls like send you pictures yeah yeah because they know you're single Uh, yeah, girl, I mean, that's not just like out of nowhere, it's like girls I'm chatting to, and it's over years, but I'm saying like, uh, like if I, I told somebody, if I, if my phone turned up in the 1800s in a town, the town elders would burn the town down because they'd be so freaked out by just the amount of filth on my phone.

[629] And that's the thing.

[630] It's like you do get hooked having to, I wanted to bring up, I went to the, uh, the flotation.

[631] I went to float labs.

[632] Oh, did you enjoy it?

[633] Yeah.

[634] Me crash?

[635] I did.

[636] Yeah, I met crash.

[637] Crash is an interesting individual, isn't he?

[638] Yeah.

[639] I went nine days ago.

[640] Yeah?

[641] Yeah.

[642] And it was pretty great.

[643] That's what made me, my epiphany, and I'm sure you don't get epiphanies every time, but my epiphany's laying there was like, I need to experience some love, and I got to get a dog to do that.

[644] Why do you say a dog?

[645] Because I find...

[646] Work you way up to a person?

[647] Yes, literally that's.

[648] That's the plant.

[649] It's like work my way up.

[650] How fucked up are you?

[651] I don't want to 10.

[652] 10 being...

[653] 10 being like you're unfixable.

[654] Oh, I don't think I'm unfixable.

[655] I think I'm like a six and a half.

[656] Six and a half.

[657] Yeah.

[658] That's still strong.

[659] Oh, yeah.

[660] Seven and strong.

[661] Wow.

[662] I'm going to start my love experiences with dogs.

[663] No, it sounds crazy.

[664] But I'm only 37.

[665] So, you know.

[666] You can still pull it together.

[667] You can still be...

[668] Yeah, it's not too late.

[669] Come from behind.

[670] Yeah, exactly.

[671] It's possible.

[672] I've been lapped by life, and I'm going to lap it.

[673] Randy Couture didn't have his first fight until he was 34, so think about that.

[674] Do you want to borrow a Pekingese?

[675] No, but I feel like that could, I feel like it could help.

[676] You can totally borrow mine.

[677] Brian's got the most loving dog in the world.

[678] You could try it.

[679] You can borrow it for a little one.

[680] How big is it?

[681] Tiny.

[682] This big?

[683] I don't like those little dogs.

[684] They, all the shivering and the...

[685] Oh, it doesn't do that.

[686] It doesn't do that.

[687] It's not a freaked out all the time.

[688] It's not a freaked out dog.

[689] It's like a guard dog.

[690] It's not scared to you at all.

[691] It's not scared to you at all.

[692] It's like, it's super affectionate.

[693] Go look at it.

[694] It's not like a dog.

[695] It's like, holy shit, a person's here.

[696] You want to make a documentary about it?

[697] Nobody's mean to my love experience with the dog.

[698] Go look, I heard Twitter at Twixie Vixen.

[699] Yeah, it's a sweet, it's a sweet dog.

[700] Really, one of the nicest dogs on the face of the earth.

[701] But you were never in love.

[702] What was the, but you weren't in love until you met your wife, right?

[703] I don't really like to talk about that on the air, sir.

[704] All right, fair enough.

[705] There's been a few loves lost along the way.

[706] Got it.

[707] I don't want to bring up any personal experiences that involve other people that I'm still friends with.

[708] But look, yeah, I've been in love.

[709] But the real reality of life, though, is you have to get your own shit together before you're capable of having any sort of a relationship.

[710] Because relationships will eventually expose who you really are.

[711] That I agree with.

[712] That is, you want to talk about vetting.

[713] Yeah.

[714] That's, I don't see, like.

[715] You don't deserve someone who's got their shit together if you don't have your shit together.

[716] And that's why it always falls apart.

[717] That's why you wind up treating them like shit.

[718] You don't deserve them.

[719] You know, you have to come to a state as a human being where all your experiences that you give to this other person are all, like, as nice as possible.

[720] You're always, always as complimentary as possible, as friendly as possible, as affectionate as possible.

[721] And as soon as you get out of that state, as you know, the only way you can get there is you got to really be happy with who the fuck you are.

[722] Because if you're not happy with who you are and what you're doing and how you feel about it.

[723] yourself and then you start attaching your happiness to this one person like the only time i feel good is when i'm around you which is crazy like bitch get your own shit together first you can't just be entirely dependent upon one person for your own happiness right and the only way you can truly be happy in a relationship i feel like is if two people can be independent of each other still enjoy each other's company it's the my idif therapist once it's like concentric circles like in the middle is the relationship where you overlap yeah and you you But you've got to also be nice to each other.

[724] That's the thing I learned.

[725] Yeah, that's the thing I learned.

[726] Because I'm from, like, I'm the youngest of 10.

[727] Oh, Jesus.

[728] And so it's like, and there was.

[729] No, I mean, yeah, not my, yeah, yes and no. Like certain ones, like older brothers and sisters did.

[730] But 10 kids is too many.

[731] My mother admitted it.

[732] Wow.

[733] And she also admitted that our father didn't love us at all.

[734] Oh, wow.

[735] Okay.

[736] But sounds awful.

[737] Sounds awful.

[738] It is awful.

[739] but when I heard that I was like thank you I fucking knew it you know what I mean you knew he didn't love you yeah knew it what a dick so what does he do fucks bitches he he started another family no he's uh he's actually he's like he's 80s old so he's just hanging out you ever talk to him we talk sparingly wow talk to him here's a good example at my brother and lost funeral, which was in July, he, my nephew, my dad sort of infirmed, and my nephew was like trying to help him down the stairs.

[740] My dad goes, don't touch me. And then he walks some more down the steps and he goes, if I fall, it's going to be your fault.

[741] It's just like a crazy guy.

[742] Oh, wow.

[743] Like a crazy angry Irish dude.

[744] So, so, so what you, so what I found is that that you kind of need, I just feel like I need to rebuild all that shit.

[745] And what I felt was, all right, so this is what I was getting at.

[746] I was seeing a girl who had to go to the hospital for some, like, infection thing.

[747] Pussy infection?

[748] Come on, man. You talk about love, and then I'll talk about pussy infection.

[749] You said, you know, you said infection thing.

[750] I mean, can we get a, I didn't say.

[751] I haven't denied that it was a pussy thing.

[752] Okay.

[753] And, uh, and, um, so she's in the hospital.

[754] and I was like but at this point we kind of weren't seeing each other anymore and she was like I'm at the hospital by myself and I was like you know what let me just go it was like 2 .30 in the morning on like a sunday I was like let me just go spend like I made a concerted effort to show this person love right and what I found was I felt really good about it meaning it made me fucking feel good yeah to love somebody but it's so not my natural uh disposition well you probably grew up with a bunch of defense mechanisms.

[755] Yeah, I am a walking defense mechanism.

[756] That's Chappelle once described me as just walking through life, just keeping everyone at a distance, which I think is a fair description.

[757] Yeah, I think man, I think we every human that I know has been in that state, at least at one point in their life.

[758] Yeah.

[759] You're going to get burned.

[760] You know, if you get burned, you're going to not only that, you got to, there's no fucking handbook on how to drive relationships.

[761] So you're essentially, just get out there and you fucking put the pedal to the metal and you crash right into the fucking trees right you don't know how to drive you don't know what you're doing when you see people and they're dating and they get together and then three days later they're with each other 24 hours a day and they go to the store to buy clothes and they just fuck all day like what are you guys really running from what's going on here this is what they did they hit the fucking pedal to the metal right let's get away from where we were yeah that's not the fastest way around the racetrack you know the fastest way around the race track you know the fastest way track is you take every turn with precision, you watch what the fuck you're doing, and you don't go do fast.

[762] But again, people don't know what that is.

[763] Because I actually have the opposite thing where I take everything with precision to a fault, where I'm very like, no, I have boundaries, and you will not sleep over, and I will not, I mean, like that's an exaggeration, but I had...

[764] It sounds like a lot of fun.

[765] I wonder why you're having a problem with checks.

[766] It was pretty great.

[767] Sounds like a great guy.

[768] If that Indian's listening.

[769] No, that was the thing It's like...

[770] What if she is, man?

[771] What does this show?

[772] Makes a love connection.

[773] She would, she'd think it's fun.

[774] The, uh, but that's the thing is I was very...

[775] Because I had, I didn't understand Bounder, so I would do the pedal to the metal thing.

[776] Yeah.

[777] And then I'd be like, I gotta do the opposite of that.

[778] So I'd be very cautious and...

[779] And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the pedal to the metal thing.

[780] For a second.

[781] Turns out great.

[782] Who knows?

[783] Sometimes it turns out great, but...

[784] Do you honestly know when it's turned out great?

[785] Do you know anyone where they just fucked for a month or, and it was just fucking just a physical thing.

[786] Yeah, I know a few.

[787] Look, man, sometimes it works.

[788] I know people that are super happy together.

[789] I know a few.

[790] You've got to get lucky, man. Well, that's the other thing.

[791] You got to fucking get so lucky.

[792] You got to get so lucky.

[793] But you also got to be worthy of that luck.

[794] You know, you got to have your own shit together to the point where you're fun to be around, that you're a nice person.

[795] You actually, you contribute to the relationship.

[796] It's not like you're sucking off of someone.

[797] Have you ever had a girl that you dated that wouldn't stop fucking complaining about everything no matter what I dated a girl it was madness it's like God this traffic are you driving slow on purpose what is going on this car smells I smell something who is this song who wrote this lyrics God there's nothing on this radio I think that's a sign of stupidity I would say that dumb people are constantly talking about physical sensations it's a little bit of that my neck hurts yeah oh fuck is your hand cold oh there's fucking smells in here but it's also a pattern you get stuck in a negative pattern one of the most in my past historic girls of negativity was she was a smart girl she was yeah her whole family was negative they're just cunts yeah fucking snapping at each other everybody just like well you look at you over there what you're saying here oh yeah you know yeah that's I can't be around that no you can't do that to me because the other guy we started playing these people that's like do you think I can't go negative yeah I'm a fucking comic.

[798] I can just fucking tell me to turn it on and I'll do it.

[799] I just don't want to do.

[800] I don't want to be like that.

[801] You just threatened her with your intellect.

[802] See how he does that?

[803] How he rocks it?

[804] I threaten way more guys.

[805] I threaten way more guys with it.

[806] Whenever guys with it?

[807] Yeah, whenever guys are like Why would you threaten?

[808] What do you?

[809] Because when guys are ball busters?

[810] When guys are ball busters, I go, look man, you can you can keep busting my balls.

[811] And I know you think it's like jovial and jocular and all that shit.

[812] But, I'm telling you once I go negative it's not going to be cute and it's going to be fucking withering and I'll be relentless about it so just stop now because I think guys think that's a way to communicate and it's like I don't communicate that way like what kind of guys are what are they doing you Joe um no what are they doing I mean they're just going like nice like even that like standard thing of like nice fucking shirt fag dude like just and it's like or what is he fucking sweatshirt or when you walk on stage someone No, no, no. If you go to the comedy club and, like, comics will, and it's, you're not even wearing anything egregious.

[813] You're not wearing cut pants in front of a jet.

[814] Right.

[815] You're wearing, you're wearing, you're creating the gravest sin on earth, which is wearing cut pants in front of a jet.

[816] That is egregious.

[817] Um, the, no, just like, dumb.

[818] And I'll just go, like, look, man, stop.

[819] Like, to stop.

[820] Oh, you warn them.

[821] Yeah.

[822] Yeah.

[823] I'm, I'm, I'm a, I'm a big warner.

[824] Because whenever people, like, slam me, it's like, do you think I can't fucking slam?

[825] I can slam the president in a in a fucking clever way you think i can't slam you you piece of you well there's a lot of people that just like to play yeah but i just think it's i think it's founded in negativity i don't think it's i don't think anyone means it's like i've said like how much more when people go joe you set for life they're not rooting for you to be set for life that's that's that's into with that semi -aggressive yeah that's exactly what i mean it's like no one wants that for you they want to go fuck you you fucking blew you your money, bro.

[826] If I were you, I totally...

[827] And if you are set for life, then they're like, this fuck, suck at Joe, right?

[828] You have nice eyelashes.

[829] Thanks a lot, man. Thank you very much.

[830] Is that what you like?

[831] I do have a long island.

[832] I just noticed he has really prominent eyelashes.

[833] Thanks a lot, man. I like him.

[834] He gets me. I'm going to go positive on you if you're not careful.

[835] Yeah, if you don't, careful dude, he'll just fucking...

[836] I'm going to compliment to fuck out of you.

[837] You look like a skinny George Zimmerman.

[838] How about that?

[839] Skinny, so what do you think about this thing?

[840] Now that they grabbed this Zimmerman dude, do you think it's going to calm everybody down?

[841] Yeah, I think, yeah.

[842] I think they had to, right?

[843] Yeah, I mean, I don't think that they brought them.

[844] Yeah, but I don't think they're going to bring a trial because people want one.

[845] I think the woman, the prosecutor was like, looked at the, I think the local PD was awful.

[846] I think they were shitty.

[847] Even the way they walked them in, where they walked them in, where they walked.

[848] him in like he was a cop like hey you want to go ahead one of them walks around them so that he's behind all of the cops it's like you is that how you treat suspects is you fucking just walk them in they're not pushing them they're not like steering them they what if he fucking yeah Jason stayed them dog those motherfucked one guy grab the gun do shush tush kills all of them it's all on tape that'd be you don't know that he's not a transporter member if you imagine remember yeah remember transporter I still I always thought you should have movies like that yeah I don't want to do this those.

[849] You said that last time.

[850] Thank you very much.

[851] I've always thought that.

[852] I have always, I even killed a meeting once.

[853] I had a meeting with these people about a martial arts type thing.

[854] I said, I don't want to do anything that looks ridiculous.

[855] I go, I don't want, I would never fight a retard wagon train where there's 10 beats.

[856] Oh yeah.

[857] And I kick all their asses.

[858] Because everybody waits.

[859] That's not how to fight.

[860] Your observation was really fun.

[861] It was a craziness.

[862] It was a zookeeper.

[863] The scheduling conflict.

[864] Zookeeper.

[865] Zookkeeper was fun.

[866] I'll do a kid's movie in a heartbeat before I'll do a martial arts movie man i would not want to do a movie where i write you made the observation that when you're you in those movies they don't work because everyone waits to fight there'll be eight dudes and they'll wait one at a time to get their ass beat that's ridiculous instead of just all jumping you go to world star hip hop okay you want to find out people really go to worldstar hiphop dot com and and there you'll see a lot of evidence how people fight this is what happens you get punched in the face you've gone conscious your head bounces off the concrete yeah people proceed to kick you and then they take your clothes off that's a real fight stupid yeah all right that's what people should see this this nonsense about one guy waiting into a crowd of folks and just uh fucking annihilating but he's in a stance people respect the stance if you're in a stance people are like hey one of the time Patrick suazy eyebrow cut which is dribbles a little bit by the face was it the last ice house chronicles that we were talking about this where like the worst is when they get knocked out and then they're still punching and kicking him like on the street you just see like a rag doll head horrific oh that like actual street Did you see the one?

[867] I saw the Baltimore one, yeah, just a couple of days ago.

[868] I watched a little bit of it.

[869] It's horrible.

[870] Just the noise his head made when it hit the concrete.

[871] It's just like, nope.

[872] But it was hollow because his mouth was open a little bit.

[873] It sounded like a, like a pumpkin.

[874] He got, I mean, he got hit by the world.

[875] It's like, that's what it's like.

[876] It's like hitting the world at 20 miles an hour.

[877] This is ridiculous.

[878] Have you ever broken up something like that?

[879] No. I'd like to think I would, but there's a part of it that's like, I think I would just go like, yeah.

[880] You got to be very careful.

[881] Stop?

[882] You could get jumped and taken right into that.

[883] The first, most important thing is if there's not a lot of people, the most important thing is to get the fuck out of here and call police.

[884] That's what the most important thing is.

[885] If you want to jump in, if there's, I mean, how many people are there?

[886] 10, 15 people?

[887] You don't think someone's going to sucker punch you too?

[888] They just sucker punch this dude and put him out.

[889] You ready to go scrap with 10 people?

[890] I'm confident are you stupid.

[891] You know, I mean, even if you get in there and try to save me and say, hey, listen, this is fuck crazy, leave him alone.

[892] I mean, you've got to gauge the situation, gauge how they respond to it.

[893] You better be ready to run for your fucking life.

[894] That's some real shit.

[895] You know, the people that are good people have to understand that there's not, the whole world is not populated by good people.

[896] Right.

[897] There's a lot of people out there that are motherfuckers, and they'll do crazy shit to you.

[898] Well, it's also interesting how quickly it just becomes like, and a mob.

[899] Yeah.

[900] Like, just fucking something in the brain just goes mob.

[901] Especially if you're white and they're black in that situation, that was clear.

[902] Clearly, they crack that dude, and then you hear them deciding all together to just rob him and take his shit.

[903] And if you try jumping into that, man, you're with that guy.

[904] You're going to be with that guy, even if you just protest what they're doing.

[905] It's not like you're protesting.

[906] What if I say, look, guys, I co -created Chappelle Shell.

[907] Let's be reasonable about this.

[908] I have some DVDs, not on me, but I can get, if you all give me your mailing address.

[909] They just start fucking you.

[910] Yeah, I mean, that's, but.

[911] pulled you down and start fucking yeah actually fucking yeah they'd be like listen we got to take this opportunity to fuck but that's the you know what's funny is that's the interesting thing about the same part of people that just goes and mob is the same part of people that go and comedy club laughing it's the same to me it's the same mechanism what it's the same it's just your brain decides we're laughing and that's funny and i'm gonna attack i think it's the limbic system i think and you just go, I'm fine, and go.

[912] Yeah, but laughter is sort of based on perception.

[913] I understand.

[914] That's based on just going straight, wild, crazy.

[915] But you know what I mean about when you do a joke that, and someone in the crowd is, you have like a pocket of dissenters, they make the show worse for everyone around them.

[916] Right, right.

[917] And they don't do anything.

[918] Right.

[919] They're just, they have energy of, I just think it's like some human energy shit.

[920] I think it's like some animalistic human energy shit.

[921] Well, you definitely get that at live audiences, man. We've all experienced that where someone is sitting in the front and they're looking at you funny and they cross their arms.

[922] And you'll even say I'm like seeing the shaking their head like, it's like, that's not funny.

[923] I've seen that.

[924] People will do that to like fuck with you.

[925] It's like the people that would stand in front of you if you were playing pool and they stand in front of your shot and like make faces and trying to shark you.

[926] That's exactly what they would do at a comedy club.

[927] Like when you watch basketball and dudes are in front of the net and they're doing that thing.

[928] Guys do that all the time.

[929] There's people that are always going to want to, see if they can fuck with you, especially if they want to know who you are.

[930] That haven't been in comedy clubs many times because I think a lot of people go to comedy club is like, all right, you better make me laugh because I paid money.

[931] You know, like it's kind of like an almost like a, you're drinking job.

[932] I also think it's just that Billy Wilder, the director said that audience members are individually, they're idiots, but together they're a genius, meaning the collective unconscious thing.

[933] Like if I do a joke where I say, I'm vegan, it's easy to be vegan in L .A. but the rest of the country might as well might as well walk up to people and go hey where do fagots eat okay simple joke funny basically a knock knock joke about now I'm not being homophobic I'm not doing anything most of the time they're laughing before they can go hey wait a minute he said faggot that's kind of homophobic how do I feel about that and that's all of comedy is kind of like that and I believe it's the same thing with a lynch mob where it's just like and we're a mob before they go maybe a guy that we just punched out maybe we don't take his pants like they're just doing it i don't think that was the case i think he was around a bunch of criminals oh you think so fuck yeah yeah i think there's a shitload of criminals in baltimore crime in baltimore's through the fuck oh yeah i agree but i think that was a drunk no that was a drunk guy who was out with a bunch of criminals and they decided to beat the fuck out of them and steal shit from him And that wasn't the first time they baked the fuck out of somebody.

[934] It wasn't the first time they stole shit from people.

[935] That's what that was.

[936] I don't, I don't, you know, I don't think it's anything but that.

[937] It's real simple.

[938] I think maybe two of them were criminals and eight of them were like, got in on it.

[939] Come on, man. We got dark pockets of humanity.

[940] And that guy was strolling drunk through a dark pocket of humanity.

[941] And they fucked, they fucked him.

[942] What I would say is there's dark pockets in every single human.

[943] Yes, it's possible.

[944] But you have to have the certain combination of neglect.

[945] and abuse as a child and abuse by your environment and abuse by your...

[946] You have to have a certain amount of disconnect with the idea of community and brotherhip and fellowship and love.

[947] You have to have enough fucked up shit in your life that you don't go the natural way.

[948] Humans that are raised with love and humans that are raised in a good community, that's what they try to appreciate and cultivate.

[949] And when you're not and you lash out, I mean, it's almost always because somebody did a fucking terrible job of raising some kid.

[950] It could have been some other place where everybody around was terrible for kids.

[951] And these toxic success pools, occasionally they shit out excellence, you know, and someone will just try so hard to get away from it that they become this, you know, mega -mogel type character or, you know, some super rapper dude, I mean, or a fighter or an athlete or something like that.

[952] But, I mean, essentially, it's a dark, horrible pocket of humanity where anything can go wrong.

[953] And that's one of the main, if you want to cry racism in this country, the real reality that that's some of the most racist shit, I think.

[954] The system?

[955] Yeah, when you see a problem area like that and you just dismiss it as a bunch of lazy people You're dismissing babies, man. You're dismissing them.

[956] That is clearly, in a way, it's either dishonest or it's racist.

[957] It's one or the other.

[958] Because you're ignoring the fact that these bundles of potential, human beings, are being brought into this fucked up situation.

[959] Instead, you want to concentrate on some minerals on the other side of the world or some Taliban dudes that may or may not even exist.

[960] You know, I mean, how many of them are there really?

[961] Yeah, well, there's 300 of them.

[962] Isn't there just a bunch of fucking people where you're in their yard and you're shooting at them?

[963] But, Joe, they have over 200 horses.

[964] And they have 10 pickup trucks.

[965] How many spears do they have?

[966] They've eight.

[967] At last time, they have eight spears.

[968] Fuck, man. And just think about all the potential that could be safe.

[969] If we put the resources that we're putting into going to these other countries, the giant fucked up machines, like, it's like Bill Gates any malaria.

[970] You took that money and took all those people and hired them instead of giving them jobs as soldiers, give them jobs as community rebuilders, provide the same kind of jobs that could be available to a million soldiers could easily be better spent in this country to having community builders, have a million fucking people that you send things.

[971] throughout the terrible spots in this country, and they rebuild the infrastructure of community centers.

[972] They set up after -school things for kids and mentoring for kids.

[973] They get kids around people who can be good role models, and they teach them better than they're getting in these fucked -up schools where you might as well be going to prison.

[974] Do you believe in the idea of welfare queens, meaning women that live, like having babies?

[975] But I see, but to me it's such a small amount.

[976] There's a spectrum of humanity, man. Yeah, no, I agree, but it's a small amount.

[977] But I think that that's how people that are against what you're saying would say, well, there's the problem with that.

[978] Babies don't deserve to be fucked over.

[979] That's the real problem is that we are not taking into account the babies.

[980] We're putting one of the most difficult tasks in the world and we're taking someone who can't even take care of themselves and we're helping them take care of themselves so that they can keep raising this baby in the most fucked up way possible.

[981] Right.

[982] When really what we should do is try to educate them and try to come in and help them and try to figure out what the fuck can be done to put this person in some sort of a positive state.

[983] So just somehow or another, you can raise this baby, right?

[984] Right.

[985] That person's done.

[986] That person's, yeah, she's 45 and she's been on welfare her whole life and she's addicted to crack.

[987] She's done.

[988] You try and help her if you want, but you can save that baby.

[989] Well, that's why I did somebody that's in some ways.

[990] It's like, do you want, I almost see welfare as like a buyout of people?

[991] Like, you're going to be a terrible CVS employee.

[992] so you're going to be a drag on the economy we're going to buy you out we're going to pay you to stay home basically and just make 240 bucks a week and we'll give you milk and sugar and all the shit you need to eat but you're not good for the economy you're all you're just bad it's a mess but I also think that another another thing that when people generally on the right say that there's all these welfare queens and stuff it's like you know and they got so many babies you know what would help them not have babies birth control is you gave them some fucking birth control Yeah, but even if you do that, there's going to be some people that have babies.

[993] Oh, no, I'm not saying nobody's going to have babies, but I'm saying that it's the, it's like, well, you had the baby.

[994] Now you got to do it.

[995] It's like, yeah, but if you gave her rubbers or if you gave her the pill, you'd have less babies.

[996] We have to figure out a way to make our community somehow or another, our existence here, at least in this country.

[997] I mean, we can't control the whole world, but I think in this country, we're capable of getting to a place where we have accepted things.

[998] standards for our communities.

[999] And if we just concentrated the amount of effort we spent on military shit on trying to figure out how to stop kids from growing up fucked up, how to come in and help them, how to come in and catch them while they're young, well, they're not a mess yet.

[1000] That's the, that's really, I mean, no one is looking at that.

[1001] They're allowing, it's just awful.

[1002] They look at statistics and they just allow nature to run its course.

[1003] It's crazy.

[1004] Yeah, and then it's like you, you, uh, they kicked someone in the show.

[1005] and they go, what do you limp it for?

[1006] It's like they're born into this terrible thing.

[1007] And then you go, you're fucking lazy.

[1008] No, they're born into this.

[1009] Even if they weren't lazy, they're in such a shitty system that you have to be 10 times more motivated to get out of it.

[1010] Yeah.

[1011] I've been around a lot of dudes, especially when I was really young that grew up in the projects and then had like a lot of the kids that I used to do martial arts tournaments with.

[1012] They came from really fucked up places.

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] And it was super depressing sometimes when I'd go.

[1015] to visit them and go to where they lived and they had a lot of anger inside because of that there was a lot of like frustration because of that and they'd got out of it with martial arts and they become like productive members of society but when they would tell me some of the stories of the shit they had to go through how bad the crime is and their projects and how scary it is you can't have anything sticking out of your pockets he'll rip your pockets open like whoa man yeah and that's before they've even gotten to white people yeah yeah you know I mean like that's before that that's the we I got a podcast called the champs it's on iTunes good whatever and uh we only have uh we we only have uh we only have uh we only have black gas son because I've just never had a boring conversation with the black dude we've had had and Jose Konseca you've never had a boring conversation with a black almost never almost now I'm not saying never but I find that more of my conversation with black dudes are interesting and uh inspiring and and uh And just fucking engaging than white people.

[1016] I know a few dudes you'd walk away from.

[1017] No, yeah, of course.

[1018] I'm sure there's the exceptions to everyone.

[1019] I'll get a few dudes to trap you in the quarter and change that statistic.

[1020] But that's the thing is white people, like, they don't spend any.

[1021] The thing that I always say is it's important that most of black dudes I know that, like, did something with their lives, spent time with white people at a young age.

[1022] Because it's important to get demystified, to have white people demystified.

[1023] You go, oh, it's not, they're not all out together.

[1024] me they're not all white devil yeah they're not they're just living their life they're not uh they're they're also not these big paul bunyan -esque fucking they're not these phantoms that control everything and they're just people they're trying to live like i am and vice versa it's good for white people to hang out black people but the amount of just shit the average black dude has to deal with on a regular basis just just just as part of the culture it's just like ugh so disgusting like looks and calves and just every single interaction banging some hot white A real blonde white girl.

[1025] Oh, forget it, Joe.

[1026] Yeah, we actually talked about this yesterday with Amy Schumer, where she was talking about how many black girls have that, you know, anger at black men for not dating a black girl.

[1027] Like that's like one of the few, like, blatantly open pieces of racism we allow.

[1028] You know, that's like as racist as you can get.

[1029] You shouldn't be dating white girls.

[1030] Well, no, it's crazy.

[1031] It's like we need to, we're all the same and we need to overcome.

[1032] But how fucking dare you?

[1033] How dare you try to...

[1034] Like, we're not all the same.

[1035] Like, we're not all the same.

[1036] These bitches are evil.

[1037] You got yourself to worry about, and we're the human race.

[1038] And if you fall in love with a Filipino lady, it's nothing wrong with that, all right?

[1039] Right.

[1040] You know, just because your ex -girlfriend.

[1041] Yeah, it's nonsense.

[1042] Who the fuck is anybody to tell anybody who that date?

[1043] Well, generally, the problem is white, black girls don't like white dudes.

[1044] Whereas black dudes like white girls.

[1045] Tough shit.

[1046] No, I know.

[1047] It's just like you need to open yourself up to more shit.

[1048] How do you think Chinese dudes feel if they only like white chicks?

[1049] It's a hard ride.

[1050] They got to feel really bad.

[1051] It's hard to get a white chick if you're a Chinese dude.

[1052] I do a joke.

[1053] I mean, a lot of them pull it off.

[1054] Don't get me wrong.

[1055] No. It's not a common thing.

[1056] Yeah, I do a joke where I say, I say, I used to ask people that were mixed that they were half white and half Asian, which parent was what race.

[1057] But it's a stupid question because I realize that the dad was never Asian.

[1058] fucking ever that's not true it's not a hundred no no no you'll find one person but mostly it's like I met her when I was in Korea there's always like the uh well because also white girls don't like Asian dudes because they don't like short dudes but what if it's a big one I know a lot of Asian dudes are really big you got to be a sexy fucking Asian to get white girls you got to be a Bruce Lee you got to be a fucking Kevin Shea you got to be a a Bobby Lee Kim Jong A Kim Jong I mean you gotta be You gotta be a Jeremy Lynn Hmm You gotta be a sexy Fucking Asian That's wild Isn't it Yeah's probably the hardest road For white pussy Right Asian yeah Yeah I was gonna say Mexican dude What's the hardest What is it What is it was the hardest If you want to get a black check Asian guy as well A probably Asian guy Yeah Asian guy as well right Yeah Yeah Could you see Beyonce Going out with an Asian guy Could you ever see that Sure couldn't not even sure couldn't joe sure couldn't uh yeah like maybe it can happen but bruceley fucking you gotta be that you know where it happened some weird place like scottesdale arizona or something that's hilarious like they met it's a tanning salon so they're just both a little off and she gets a thrill out of the fact she hangs out with this dude who speaks mandarin yeah yeah maybe maybe her dad was like really in a kung fu yeah but again it's got to be like shit yeah but i would just i don't yeah it sucks it's just one of those things.

[1059] It's just like, yeah.

[1060] It sucks, man. There's nothing we can do about it.

[1061] Yeah.

[1062] Just history.

[1063] Someday.

[1064] But I, although having said that, I bet during Genghis Khan's time, to bring it back to that, that the Asian dudes could get pussy, first of all, because they were taking it, but also because they, that was the paradigm of masculinity.

[1065] That's interesting.

[1066] That's, that's really fascinating.

[1067] So what happened that, that changed?

[1068] Is it all cultural?

[1069] Well, that's why I always find that, when, I go to Europe, it's odd that in America, it's taken, to me, it's like a granted that black dudes are cool and create a lot of culture.

[1070] And in Europe, it's kind of like, no, soccer is the number one sport.

[1071] They prefer, like, techno music to hip hop.

[1072] Yeah, there's a lot of, like, so there's no, they like don't even get, like, black fashion isn't a thing.

[1073] They all wear tight pants.

[1074] Like, whereas here, there's a huge strain of black cultural dominance.

[1075] that you go to Europe and it's just, it just fucking evaporates.

[1076] But I think it is that, like, what do people condition to think is good?

[1077] Yeah, really?

[1078] Well, why sexually?

[1079] That doesn't make sense to me. Because sexually, to me, it's always clear with what men like.

[1080] Men like the same thing every goddamn turn.

[1081] I mean, there's a few weirdos who want stick figures and fat women.

[1082] Right.

[1083] But men, what's the magic ratio of the two to one hips to ways?

[1084] Yeah, whatever it is.

[1085] It's natural.

[1086] The golden ratio?

[1087] There was a lady that I was, I was in Beverly Hills today.

[1088] And there was this lady, and she was probably in her 40s, deep in her 40s, which I try to be respectful and not have, like, ugly feelings about women who are older than me when I look at her.

[1089] She was, she was built so nice.

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] She had these, like, thin, she had this thin waist and this ass.

[1092] You could tell this bitch goes to the gym.

[1093] You could tell.

[1094] She worked out hard.

[1095] Like, she was, like, really well kept.

[1096] And you just look at her body, like, instantly.

[1097] Wow.

[1098] Like, that's sex.

[1099] Like, that's what she looks like.

[1100] Yeah, you're built for sex She looks like sex Yeah, yeah And that's, that's, that's just But it's automatic, but again, it's automatic, girls like tall guys Yeah, sometimes, but I'm talking to, in general They like, they like, you know what they like, they like strength They like physical genetic strength Yes, and they also like social worth They like any sort of strength, yeah, strength as well, yeah, strength as well Absolutely, this monetary strength, they want whatever looks attractive to mate with It's the same thing men want a woman that can fucking protect their baby in utero and then feed it with big giant kids.

[1101] Why not Asian guys?

[1102] Because they're not tall and they don't have, generally speaking, they're not tall and they don't have broad shoulders.

[1103] But a lot of them are super successful.

[1104] Yeah, they do.

[1105] Social skills are fun.

[1106] Social skills.

[1107] Is that what it is?

[1108] Yeah.

[1109] No, I think that's, they know, they're not.

[1110] No, I think it could be smooth.

[1111] Hold on a second.

[1112] In what way?

[1113] They just, they're, I don't know.

[1114] They're just, like, any of the Asians that I know, they're very, they're very foreign.

[1115] Like when it comes to just common, you know, pop culture, pop anything.

[1116] Are these, are you talking about American Asians?

[1117] I'm talking about American Asians that I know that were born here.

[1118] Having conversations with them, you know, it's very different than having like a conversation with like an Asian chick.

[1119] Do you think that it's because they came from the parents of immigrants and their parents were like super strict?

[1120] There's a little of that.

[1121] I mean, you're making a big generalization, obviously.

[1122] I know a lot of Asians.

[1123] I'm just talking about the people I know.

[1124] Well, look at Bobby Lee.

[1125] He's not like.

[1126] that, Bobby Lee's pretty cool.

[1127] You know, there's a lot of Asians that are like totally down and cool.

[1128] I know several of them.

[1129] Right, but that's what I'm wondering.

[1130] I know more that are actually cool than I, like, that are like, you know a lot of fast.

[1131] But cool that girls would want to date them cool though or more like, hey, they're cool if I want to talk about video games and stuff.

[1132] Cool if I want to just hang out with them.

[1133] I know, like when I think about the dudes that I know that are Asian, I know a lot of Asian, martial arts guys.

[1134] I know a lot of Asian dudes from martial arts.

[1135] And I know a lot of them, if I want to talk about the most percentage of Asian dudes with white girlfriends, it's usually martial arts, you know.

[1136] That makes a lot of sense.

[1137] Because it's a show, it's a fun, they're peacocking.

[1138] Yeah.

[1139] And they're fit.

[1140] You know, if they're badass.

[1141] And they wear brusely brown sweatsuits everywhere they go with a zipper.

[1142] A nice six pack.

[1143] And a penis is just easy to get in her mouth.

[1144] It's like, there's no guy.

[1145] Really easy.

[1146] It's super.

[1147] And he's happy about it.

[1148] He doesn't care.

[1149] It feels good for him.

[1150] Uh, yeah.

[1151] She's really just into getting her pussy eating anyway.

[1152] I mean, she really doesn't even like sex that much.

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] So for them, it works.

[1155] Stereotypes aside.

[1156] But, you know, I think I have a friend that was, she was raised by a very strict father to the point where when she got older, like, all of her boyfriends became, she wouldn't date Asian guys.

[1157] It was all white guys, only white guys.

[1158] And her father was like, I just guess just such a, like, stereotypical.

[1159] over -the -top, like, you know, authoritarian, like, really strict Asian father.

[1160] And it just completely whacked her out to the idea of ever dating an Asian guy.

[1161] And if that's the case, if it's like that's a part of their culture, like, I know, like, my friends that are Korean, like, had a buddy that was Korean, I never met anybody who worked harder in my life.

[1162] Well, that's the thing.

[1163] There's not, there's no machismo about the culture.

[1164] It's just basically, like, quiet hard work.

[1165] Oh, my God.

[1166] Yeah, they're not even bragging at all.

[1167] Yeah, they're not into wearing chains.

[1168] They're not into getting nice cars.

[1169] Just like we're planning for the next generation.

[1170] Yeah, my friend Junksyk, Jungsik Chang, we did Taekwondo together.

[1171] He won up on the national team.

[1172] He was a national champion, and he was in fucking medical school.

[1173] And he took a little bit of time off from medical school to compete.

[1174] Never met a guy that works that hard.

[1175] Mani Pachio.

[1176] Yeah.

[1177] The guy's just fucking like a governor or some shit.

[1178] He's the governor.

[1179] He's like the mayor of, of.

[1180] Thailand.

[1181] To Philippines.

[1182] He's not from Thailand.

[1183] No, exactly.

[1184] And he lives in the fucking, the place by the Beverly Center with eight of his cousins.

[1185] Oh, does he really?

[1186] Yeah, no, like when they come for fights, they stay at the Palazzo.

[1187] Hey, what are you doing?

[1188] Why would you say that on the, because they show it on that show.

[1189] Oh, that's so stupid.

[1190] And there's a gate.

[1191] Why would they do that?

[1192] Yeah.

[1193] How many nutty people are waiting outside for him every day?

[1194] Fight him.

[1195] To fight him?

[1196] No, go ahead.

[1197] They go to the, he goes to Wildcar Jam.

[1198] They know, he goes.

[1199] That's the kind of thing.

[1200] When you're that kind of badass, it's like, all right, so what are you going to do?

[1201] We filmed him.

[1202] I went there for Tasha's show, and Tasha was going to let Manny Packayout punch him in the head, and I was his corner man, and, you know, he really hit him, really, he was very nice about it.

[1203] Right.

[1204] Like, the first couple of times he hit him, he, like, barely hit him.

[1205] Right.

[1206] Were you going to say gingerly?

[1207] No, I was searching for a word, but gingerly would apply.

[1208] That's a good word.

[1209] But the amount of people that were there, it was insane The amount of people That are just there They're there Downstairs They weren't there Because at Tasha show They were there Because that's where Manny Pachiao trained Yeah And I mean This was I guess like a year ago Maybe less than a year ago Maybe a year Less than a year probably And so he's only gotten Even more popular since then Yeah I mean he's a goddamn superhero Yeah You know And there's a restaurant A Thai restaurant That you eat at downstairs And it's got all pictures Of him on the wall Because that's where he eats Yeah They know what Yeah you can find Manny Packer Yeah you can find him.

[1210] What are you going to?

[1211] And he's a humble dude.

[1212] Oh, he's the nicest guy ever.

[1213] Yeah.

[1214] He's a sweetheart.

[1215] That is that weird thing that fighters have where it's that, that you're like, where you don't really brag.

[1216] Well, I think when you get to be the point of Manny Packer, why would he brag?

[1217] I mean, that guy probably can't believe how.

[1218] Well, what do you make amazing in his life is?

[1219] Well, that's sort of part of it is his schick.

[1220] And it's also part of it is why he's become so successful.

[1221] And it's also part of it is his environment.

[1222] And if you look at, I mean, there's no better.

[1223] example than those shows, those HBO series when they follow him.

[1224] Because if you follow his life, man, his father was in jail, okay?

[1225] His father talks mad shit to him.

[1226] They talk mad shit to each other.

[1227] Like he said to his father, he goes, you ain't nothing.

[1228] You ain't never nothing.

[1229] You ain't, you ain't no champion.

[1230] You never know a champion.

[1231] And he says it to his father's face on camera.

[1232] Yeah.

[1233] And, you know, he shuts down his father.

[1234] It makes him look like shit on camera.

[1235] And then his, you know, his uncle's, his uncle, Rogers, the same way.

[1236] And they just talk mad shit to each other and Roger just got to he's on trial for domestic abuse he beat some girl up I mean that's the environment and then Floyd smack some girl and you know he's got to go to jail for 90 days then letting him fight first you know I mean it's really that's a crazy life yeah he's that's part of his environment but look how goddamn discipline that dude is the reason why Floyd is so good Floyd will get out he'll go out clubbing drinking water and then with his jeans on he'll run at like 1 .30 in the morning just to say gets his truck to drive or whoever the fuck he's got working for him to drive the car behind him and he'll just go run home at 1 .30.

[1237] Do you think that's characterological?

[1238] Meaning, do you think it's just in him?

[1239] Meaning at a certain point, it's like that so -and -so is disciplined.

[1240] It's almost like they're not, they're just, that's just how their brain is.

[1241] Like, they're just, like, Floyd, it's not even, it's like, I just got to fucking run.

[1242] No, no, no. He's not that crazy.

[1243] I think he's doing the work.

[1244] I think he's just addicted to success.

[1245] And I think he knows exactly what he has to do to be as good as he is, which is better than almost anybody.

[1246] And I think his technical skill is only, only eclipsed by his work ethic.

[1247] And that's what people don't understand.

[1248] He's got great technical skill.

[1249] He's a great boxer.

[1250] He does everything for a lot.

[1251] Oh, yeah.

[1252] He's on a different speed.

[1253] Yeah, he's, well, he's also so accurate, and his timing is fucking genius, and he knows how to control a fight, and he knows how to pace himself.

[1254] He knows how to do anything.

[1255] But one of the big things about that dude is he never gets tired.

[1256] That guy's never even remotely tired.

[1257] You never even see him slow down.

[1258] You know, he's never in a war where he has to dig down deep because someone's been rocking him.

[1259] You know, when you start seeing fighters in those fights when they're covering up and bouncing off the ropes, the last time you saw that Floyd was over there.

[1260] The guy that he ended up knocking out when the guy put his hands down, was giving him a little something?

[1261] No, no, he wasn't.

[1262] He wasn't hitting him with his head butts.

[1263] The guy was throwing a lot of punches.

[1264] He throws a lot of punches, but Floyd is a goddamn expert at moving with punches and about sliding away from punch.

[1265] The only guy has ever hit him clean that I've ever seen in a modern fight, not when he was younger when he was first starting out, but in a recent fight, he's Sugar Shane Mosley caught him with the right hand and rocked him.

[1266] But you know what he does?

[1267] He fucking calms himself down.

[1268] Did he fall?

[1269] Nope, but he got rocked.

[1270] He got cracked.

[1271] I like that that counts as like he got hit one.

[1272] It's like most guys get knocked out.

[1273] We're talking about like one time he got hit hard.

[1274] They all get hit, but he got hit clean.

[1275] He got hit to the point where...

[1276] But that's how fast he is, is that you're bringing up like in one time in 19, 1998 a guy actually landed a punch clean.

[1277] Exactly.

[1278] But I saw him fight Hatton and somebody else and you just got like, this isn't even a, they're not even in the same league.

[1279] Yeah, he's way too good for them.

[1280] He's way too good and Hatton started getting tired.

[1281] I mean, and Hatton was a tough guy, but Hatton was also a partier.

[1282] You know, and that's, that fucked Hatton after he got out of the game.

[1283] He got real big and started doing cocaine.

[1284] Oh, do you really?

[1285] You got a call with it, yeah.

[1286] Which is so sad when you see the fighters that, like, they get out of the game and then they just they don't know what the fuck to do and they go crazy.

[1287] it happened at Joe Lewis it happened to you know sunny Liston it happened to a lot of them they don't know what to do just get fucking nutty they did what a wild ride they've been on their whole life then all of a sudden you say okay no more no more craziness there's this they there should be a farm or something I mean for real like what do you do with Mike Tyson well I think Mike it's like your graded violence and we have no use for it other than in that one thing that you can only really do until you're 27 well Mike Tyson actually I believe has a one -man show in Vegas now is what I've been hearing and I've been hearing it's really good and what it is is he just sits down and tell stories of his life just like that documentary but they put a structure to it and they know they know like he knows like how to do it and apparently has a great stage presence and apparently it's really compelling because I that's great it's great yeah sitting there with boxing history when how old you 38 I was I'm 44 when I was in 1986 I was 19 years old and I remember when Mike Tyson fights would come on when I was maybe remember yeah when Mike Tyson fights would come on everybody would fucking gather around they would all gather around it was it was something different it wasn't like hey there's a boxing match this weekend even Marvin Hagler I have become a Marvin Hagler fans were assaults primal yeah there was something like we're gonna let a dog attack a per like there's something an animal is gonna fight like something horrifying is gonna happen He's a part of the sports history.

[1288] There was no one, I think, today can appreciate how dominant he was when he was in his prime.

[1289] Especially amongst the general public.

[1290] There was a few people that question whether or not, you know, he'd ever fight a guy like Carl the Truth Williams.

[1291] He had a really good jab.

[1292] Apparently had great training sessions with him.

[1293] And there was like, Carl the Truth is the guy to beat Tyson.

[1294] But then by the time Tyson got to Carl the Truth, he fucked him up.

[1295] Tyson was on a completely different level by that point.

[1296] Well, that's the thing those fights where he knocked dudes out in 40 seconds?

[1297] Well, Larry Holmes.

[1298] And people get mad.

[1299] And it's like, well, he's that fucking good.

[1300] Larry Holmes was older when he fought him.

[1301] So I would have loved to have seen a prime Larry Holmes because Larry Holmes gave him a hard time with the jab in the first round.

[1302] But in the second round, Tyson just started moving his head more, found his rhythm.

[1303] Eventually caught him with a monster punch, dropped him, and then knocked him out in a really fucked up way where his leg went backwards behind him and then went d 'i -strain down.

[1304] Remember that?

[1305] It was really, well, you looked at it.

[1306] It was like his leg is fucked.

[1307] and uh you know larry holmes was a a long time heavyweight champion nobody had ever done that to larry guys had beaten larry but nobody ever done that to him yeah so that kind of was like he's such a historic he made dudes look retarded it was scary he would literally make them look like they would pass out in a way it's like yeah yeah people don't need to see that like oh look like a drunk they're making you make women men look like drunk ants yeah well when he won the title he didn't did that.

[1308] Remember, who the fuck did he fight?

[1309] That guy who was a...

[1310] Trevor Berwick?

[1311] Trevor Berwick.

[1312] We went to being a reverend and shit and doing a bunch of other nutty shit.

[1313] I think he got murdered, too.

[1314] Why do I don't...

[1315] He did a lot.

[1316] I feel like Trevor Burbank got murdered.

[1317] I don't think...

[1318] I can't rule that out.

[1319] Yeah, that's very possible.

[1320] But the idea of Mike Tyson telling you all those stories, what it was like to be that guy, you know, back then when he was on top of the fucking world, I mean, he was a fucking monster.

[1321] The other thing about Mike Tyson is he's the Mike Tyson of self -loathing as well, meaning he'll just be like, I'm a piece of shit.

[1322] I mean, it's like, whoa, man. But there's something so arresting about somebody saying that.

[1323] Yeah.

[1324] Yeah, Trevor Berber was murdered, man. Yeah.

[1325] He won the title from Trevor Burber.

[1326] You remember that one thing that Tyson did for the movie where he was talking about his mindset as he was walking to the cage?

[1327] And they raped his sister?

[1328] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, he was walking.

[1329] He was like, he goes, I'm walking to the cage.

[1330] I'm nervous.

[1331] I'm nervous.

[1332] I'm thinking about this.

[1333] I'm looking at the crowd.

[1334] I'm looking at him.

[1335] I'm trying to make eye contact.

[1336] And I get close.

[1337] I get more and more confident.

[1338] I get confident.

[1339] I thought, I'm a God.

[1340] And he just, and it's just like the way he said it.

[1341] Like, you're just thinking, oh, yeah.

[1342] What the fuck would it feel like if you had got it?

[1343] If you're trapped in a rate.

[1344] When he fought Leon, not Leon, when he fought Michael Spinks, that was one of the, one of the big fighters.

[1345] of Tyson's career and Michael Spinks was a former light heavyweight who had gone up to heavyweight and beaten Larry Holmes by decision but there was a look in his eyes when they were reading you know when the guy was going over the rules and they were looking at each other Mike Tyson was just chomping back and forth and just staring at him in the eyes towel and you cut a hole in a towel and you hear that quote attributed to that walk in and you think about that fight and what it must have been like to be Michael Spinks in the room with at that moment the most impressive heavyweight fight fighter in the history of the sport, in my opinion.

[1346] Yeah, I agree.

[1347] I mean, you've got to judge a guy on what he does to the tough fights when he's in his prime at his best.

[1348] And Mike Tyson, in his prime, at his best, which is run through dudes.

[1349] Well, that's what I wonder, what do you think happens if he fights Ali at his prime?

[1350] It's not a match, right?

[1351] I don't know.

[1352] I think he might get Ali.

[1353] I think he just gets him in the first round.

[1354] I think he would get him.

[1355] You know, Henry Cooper knocked down Ali and had him badly hurt.

[1356] And Custamato had, or, no, rather, what the fuck's his name?

[1357] The guy that just died.

[1358] Bundini, Anthony, Jesus Christ Oh, Bird Sugar?

[1359] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Who was Sugar Ray Leonard's trainer?

[1360] Angelo Dundee, cut his gloves so that they would have time to recover.

[1361] He got back to the corner and they cheated.

[1362] They cut his fucking gloves because he got knocked down by Henry Cooper.

[1363] Ali later, as he got older, got way better.

[1364] But if they both had fought, like when they were both the same age, when Tyson was 21 and Ali was 21, Tyson would have killed him.

[1365] Yeah, or even like the thrill of Manila, like the, or the, the foreman one.

[1366] You know, a lot of people don't want to think of, you know, Ali in the later years because he got, you know, battered and being up, and they're absolutely right.

[1367] But even at his best, he still got caught.

[1368] He got caught, he never fought anybody like Tyson.

[1369] Right.

[1370] He never fought anybody like the Tyson that fought Marvis Frazier.

[1371] Jesus fucking Christ.

[1372] No, that's the thing.

[1373] Do you remember how scary that was?

[1374] Yes, it was like, it was like the Christians and the Lions.

[1375] It was fucking crazy.

[1376] No one's confusing Muhammad Ali with Maris Frazier.

[1377] But I'm saying some of those might have got through.

[1378] And if some of those got through, that would have been the end.

[1379] In my mind, Foreman would give him a fight.

[1380] Fuck yeah, he would.

[1381] Like, Foreman from Africa?

[1382] Fuck yeah.

[1383] Formen from when we were kings?

[1384] Foreman would fire back.

[1385] The heavy bag and shit, it's just like.

[1386] Well, you know, that's a thing, a good thing you could say about Ali as well, because Ali had an incredible chin.

[1387] Ali could fucking take it.

[1388] He could take it.

[1389] But nobody ever hit him with the kind of combinations that Tyson was capable of throw.

[1390] Owen.

[1391] Tyson threw ungodly things that had never existed in the heavyweight division before.

[1392] Nobody had ever ripped the body to the head like the way he did.

[1393] Well, he would throw that right hook to the body and then that right uppercut.

[1394] And his whole body would tore.

[1395] And oh my God.

[1396] It's like the shark eating the dolphin thing where it's just like, yeah.

[1397] You know, there's a lot of boxing people who totally disagree with me. And they say, oh, it's so disrespectful to Muhammad Ali.

[1398] And he was the greatest.

[1399] He was amazing.

[1400] But I think things evolve and athletes evolve.

[1401] And you want to try to put them error to error and say, well, what if Muhammad Ali grew up during Tyson's era?

[1402] Right.

[1403] Well, then, yeah, he would have been better.

[1404] Muhammad Ali would have been better.

[1405] If you grew up in that generation, and that's not bullshit.

[1406] Muhammad Ali was an amazing athlete, but he was an amazing athlete in the 1960s.

[1407] If he was an amazing athlete in the year 2000, he'd be even fucking better, for sure, 100%.

[1408] But if you look at them as far as like, it's just a window of time, and compare if you could somehow or get him in a room in the same physical state that they were both into their prime.

[1409] The weight guys are ripped now is completely different.

[1410] Tyson was on another level, dude.

[1411] He was on another level.

[1412] And he didn't sustain it, and he definitely imploded and he went through.

[1413] But when he was on, man, dudes would be terrified of him.

[1414] Bruce Selden went down to a miss. He hit him, and then Bruce Selden winged a left hook on him, and he fucking stumbled the ropes and fell.

[1415] That might have been like some kung fu fear shit.

[1416] Yeah.

[1417] Where he just knew the end was coming.

[1418] Do you do any, because I remember.

[1419] read this book called 10 minute toughness which this reminded me of and it's a book about positive visualization just in whether it's it's for athletes and because I asked an athlete friend of mine like do you do any any sports psychology thing because I realized from standup I was like I have no not defense but I have no I just go like basically what happened was I would be in a bad mood and I'm going to bomb and then I'd go and bomb sure enough I would just, I could feel it.

[1420] I could feel that I was going to bomb.

[1421] I was like, you have to be able to overcome that.

[1422] The feeling of like, I don't, I'm in a bad mood.

[1423] And then like, so I basically, it's a thing called 10 -minute toughness.

[1424] And it's basically just about positive visualization of said task, whether it's batting basketball.

[1425] Yeah, no, someone said half -runs really into it.

[1426] But I found it's really helpful.

[1427] Well.

[1428] And you also hear fighters and you hear, you hear, I know athletes to do it.

[1429] And Pele used to lay down for a half an hour before every game and just visualize it.

[1430] Michael Jordan, same thing, Tiger Woods, same thing.

[1431] For sure, that would help.

[1432] Yeah, absolutely, 100%.

[1433] Any time you can equate that thing in your mind with you having success in it, it's going to improve chances of having success.

[1434] And you do it in your head.

[1435] So when you go and do it, you're basically just executing.

[1436] I do jiu -jitsu in the isolation tank.

[1437] I do it all the time.

[1438] I do it in my head.

[1439] I go over techniques.

[1440] I'll force myself to go over a whole series of techniques so I'll just get into a state in the isolation tank and then I say okay let's break down some guard positions and then I just go over guard positions in my head and where is this arm?

[1441] This arm is wrapping around the knee and pulling it down where's this hand this hand is right here.

[1442] And really try to sensation every...

[1443] And I go through the whole move.

[1444] I go through the whole thing in my head because I know what it feels like to do it, I've done it all.

[1445] So then I just go through all the moves in my head and I can practice.

[1446] And they say that you practicing in that manner is actually sometimes better for you than the actual physical act of practicing.

[1447] And as far as like rate of improvement.

[1448] It's really amazing.

[1449] No, I know.

[1450] That's what's great about it.

[1451] And I don't even fuck around when I say this.

[1452] I've gotten 25 % better in three months.

[1453] Well, when you go back to the tank, do that.

[1454] Okay.

[1455] Visualize your shows like in a tank.

[1456] But you should never be thinking you're going to bomb.

[1457] You should be thinking always is that you're the luckiest.

[1458] fucking person ever because you're going to go get paid to talk.

[1459] You're a professional comedian, which is craziness.

[1460] The fact that somewhere or another, you hit the lottery with, you know, choosing something, going after it, and then actually achieving success with it in the point of you actually get paid to do something that's fun, whereas the majority of the world gets paid to do something they don't want to do.

[1461] That's why they get money.

[1462] They get money because nobody wants to do it.

[1463] Or because if they do want to do it, they need to be compensated because it's not the ideal shit to be doing right now.

[1464] Right.

[1465] You know, maybe it's good work.

[1466] Maybe you enjoy it, but if you had your choice, you might be fishing.

[1467] Well, the guy who gets paid to go fishing, that guy won.

[1468] That guy is true white trash.

[1469] So you're driving to go fishing, okay?

[1470] You're getting paid.

[1471] I agree.

[1472] No, sometimes if you're just standing up, you got to stink on you, you just have an emotional stink on you, and you're like, they're going to fucking smell it.

[1473] And that's where I talked about that genius, the group, the collective unconscious thing, where it's like, they can just smell it.

[1474] That's also, I think, where you need love.

[1475] Neil Brennan?

[1476] Neil Brennan, you and I have always been cool with each other.

[1477] I know you have had disagreements with people and I have had disagreements with people.

[1478] But I think when we met each other way, way back in the day at Boston comedy, we were always cool with each other.

[1479] Because I realize I'm like, oh, here's one of those dudes that people probably fucked with a lot.

[1480] And he seems really smart.

[1481] He's worried that you might fuck with them.

[1482] But he seems cool.

[1483] So I'll just assure him that I'll never fuck with them.

[1484] I bet we'll get along nice.

[1485] Yeah, that's true.

[1486] I always felt like a amount of respect from you that wasn't commensurate with my position in life at that time.

[1487] There are two guys that stick out, you and John Stewart.

[1488] That were very nice.

[1489] That were very nice before that was a thing to be.

[1490] That's how you know how pissed he was, that CNN bullshit when he went on and called this guy's hacks and it was angry.

[1491] and wasn't funny at all.

[1492] You realize how nice that guy is.

[1493] To get that guy to go and do something like that, I've done his show a couple times.

[1494] You do the daily show.

[1495] He's like the nicest guy ever.

[1496] He's so friendly.

[1497] If he's really that pissed off at you or something, I've never thought that anybody is in any...

[1498] I mean, there's no positions in life.

[1499] I think that's nonsense.

[1500] I don't buy it for a second, especially as a comedian.

[1501] Like, why would I ever consider that anybody else would be...

[1502] There are no positions.

[1503] You know, you've got to look at a guy who's got a shit job.

[1504] You know, he's cleaning a bathroom, toilets at a gas station, like, well, I don't know what happened to him, that he got stuck in the situation.

[1505] Right.

[1506] I'm going to treat this guy entirely based on how he treats me. Yeah.

[1507] You know, if he comes out and he's got a fucking bucket in his hand and, you know, a broom and he's just cleaning toilets.

[1508] And I ask him, hey, man, do you know where the highway is?

[1509] And he goes, yeah, go double back there.

[1510] Take that stuff.

[1511] I'm going to say, thank you, my brother.

[1512] Have a good day.

[1513] I agree.

[1514] And I mean that.

[1515] That's the thing is I try.

[1516] It's like, what does this guy seem like?

[1517] Seems like a good dude.

[1518] Yeah.

[1519] So we're going to be good dudes to each other.

[1520] And I don't like, then the thing that I like about you being living where you live, which is far away from LA, is going, I don't even like being around that sort of nexus of like you will be treated a certain way and you will not be because you're not, you're not in movies.

[1521] Right.

[1522] So you don't, you get a shittier parking space.

[1523] Right.

[1524] And you get a shittier social, you're going to feel shitty this whole time.

[1525] There is that, man. I remember I was over a buddy mine's house.

[1526] It was actually Brian Callan.

[1527] it was way back in the day when Brian was a single man and he had this girl that he was that he had over his place and I she was like just real cunty I forget what it was but Brian was supposed to come with me but he was always like making like triple plans you know Brian's always crazy I'm like come on man what are we going to do are we going to go out or are you going to go out with her just let me know now and she's like God she goes the way he acts you would think he wasn't like the fifth lead on a sitcom she goes you're only like the fifth lead relax and I'll never forget that absolutely yeah I was like what do you I didn't even know what number I was I don't know what number you read someone's name on the call sheet I am she fucking said I was the fifth lead out of because I was there was eight people on the sitcom and maybe I guess my name came in five or six or whatever the fuck it was she knew it I'm like come on how do you know that how crazy I had a girl laugh at me she goes you write for Nickelodeon this is like in 1994 like it's a good gig yeah i was fucking excited to write for niccolo you know what i mean like i'm fucking any job in showbiz is fucking a good job as far as i'm concerned what show did you write for all that yeah and keenan and kell being in that hive of uh showbiz there's too many crazy people in the wrong kind of crazy i can't get anything out of that and no one acts natural yes i don't know ever talked about it it's like i always say standing next to a celebrity is like driving next to a cop right you can't fucking at you You can do a facsimile of what you think natural is, but everyone's acting fishy, fucking everyone.

[1528] So I just try to stay away from it.

[1529] Smart, yeah, it's definitely smart.

[1530] You're way better off outside the hive.

[1531] The hive of the showbiz culture is just so oversaturated within insecurity and insanity.

[1532] It's just too much nonsense and too much crazy people, too much need.

[1533] I don't want to talk about the business.

[1534] I don't want to talk about any of this.

[1535] This is all boring shit.

[1536] Like, there's a, there's a crazy world out there.

[1537] And we're, we're concentrating on some of the most mundane aspects of it.

[1538] Yeah.

[1539] Just because that's, you know, that's the latest obsession.

[1540] And you also have to realize when you have a place like this, that is essentially the vortex of all things where someone, all instances where people get a preposterous amount of attention for no reason.

[1541] Yeah.

[1542] It all comes from here.

[1543] So all these people who watch all these different shows, The Housewives shows, and this show, they gravitate towards here, thinking somehow or another, this is going to be the place where they get on TV.

[1544] And there's people right now that are out of their fucking mind.

[1545] They've been a goddamn nightmare to everyone they've ever met their entire life.

[1546] And they're at a bus right now, and they're headed over here because they're going to get fucking famous.

[1547] They're going to get the get out of jail free card.

[1548] They're going to get on a reality show.

[1549] And guess what?

[1550] They're going to get on a reality show.

[1551] They will.

[1552] They'll get on one.

[1553] I have hosted one.

[1554] I know how it works.

[1555] I know how they cast.

[1556] They find someone.

[1557] If that guy can fucking form a sentence and he's energetic and he looks like he might be a fun.

[1558] And he's a huge narcissist.

[1559] Yeah, huge narcissist.

[1560] Perfect.

[1561] He's like flexing in front of the mirror.

[1562] Yeah.

[1563] He shaves his socks, you know.

[1564] Whatever.

[1565] Where his socks go?

[1566] Look, I think any crazy person right now could come here and come here just to try to get famous.

[1567] And that's not a good place to live.

[1568] Yeah.

[1569] It's not a good place to live where that's the big percentage of people come here to get famous.

[1570] That's unhealthy.

[1571] Yeah, I just try to ignore.

[1572] it and try to.

[1573] But you're in the hive, right?

[1574] Aren't you in the hive?

[1575] I live in Venice.

[1576] Yeah, that's the hive, son.

[1577] But not really.

[1578] Not compared to, yeah, not compared to, uh, not compared to Hollywood.

[1579] You haven't a lot of annoying people, a lot of annoying people live in Venice.

[1580] Yeah, I agree.

[1581] It's a different kind of annoying, though.

[1582] Yeah, it's a different kind of annoying.

[1583] Yeah, it's a hippie annoying, which I find forgivable.

[1584] Yes.

[1585] And also, also ignore, I'm in my hat.

[1586] It's like, I drive there.

[1587] And then I, it's a lot like that, too, right?

[1588] There's a lot of hippie.

[1589] Yeah.

[1590] Topanga is very hippie.

[1591] Yeah.

[1592] God bless him.

[1593] Yeah.

[1594] yeah I'm not really down with that they annoy me for the most part yeah we've talked about this but you're friends with like most hippies than I ever met oh yeah I'm friends with a lot of hippies but there's a lot of hippies that I don't like I became an anti -hippie person when I lived in Boulder and then I had to experience hippies on a daily basis there was well you're being vegan there's a lot of weakness there's a lot of weakness and illogical thinking and I've had some conversations with hippies you know that were you know quasi debates about shit, and they go south real quick.

[1595] There's not a lot of logic behind the real sloppy...

[1596] They have one move.

[1597] The real sloppy, lazy hippie.

[1598] You know, like, you ever hear the people that Peter Schiff always debates at Occupy Wall Street?

[1599] He goes down there and talks to the sloppy hippies, because they don't really have coherent sentences, and it's really he's battering them around.

[1600] It's Mike Tyson sparring one of us.

[1601] It's not fair.

[1602] And those motherfuckers are...

[1603] There's too many of those.

[1604] There's too many sloppy hippies who don't...

[1605] really have a good handle on how complex different social issues are and they will why should you have all the money man why should you well that's why do you need 500 million dollars man yeah why do you need that man yeah and he just eviscerates him peter shift just explains like I said that like the fourth lead on a sitcom not the fifth that was a fucking upgrade I stepped well you know what I have an accident in years but I do get in the tank and think about it yeah that's the yeah that's the yeah that There are too, there's a lot of sloppy hippies and, uh, and sloppy thinking, man. Yeah, well, that's what I like about your point of view is that it's humane and masculine.

[1606] Yeah.

[1607] I don't find it as like people go like, fucking, you're a frat boy.

[1608] Nope, it's not that easy.

[1609] Not a frat boy.

[1610] He's fucking jock.

[1611] No, not that simple.

[1612] I don't even know the rules to football.

[1613] How about that?

[1614] Yeah.

[1615] I don't even know what's going on.

[1616] I think people get in trouble and the whistles blow and shit.

[1617] I'm like, whoa, what happened?

[1618] Who did what?

[1619] Yeah.

[1620] I don't know.

[1621] I don't know what a point is.

[1622] why are some things more points sometimes they run across the line at a certain point but if it goes through the net it's a different point right if it goes through the goals guess what I don't give a fuck you like but you like fighting yeah that's the only thing well that and a professional pool which most oh is that true boring as fuck yeah I like professional basketball do you do you play basketball I used to and I just like it's a fun yeah it's a very fast -paced game fast -paced a lot of dudes there's a there's a rhythm to it there's some there's some there's a lot of art too i love dudes nailing shit i love a dude who fades back for a fucking three point jump shot that just is all net i love excellence in any form yeah but it doesn't mean anything to me when that ball goes in the net i know it's really hard to do though so when i watch it it's pretty badass but it doesn't sustain me very long what's funny is when you see like you watch tv and then you're around the people and you just go oh when you go you're you're sitting near the court or whatever and you're just like oh i understand why they're paid 20 million dollars yeah because this is fucking weird They're weird to begin with, and then they figured out this weird skill.

[1623] Yeah.

[1624] I would assume MMA is like that.

[1625] Oh, yeah, for sure.

[1626] Yeah.

[1627] Where you see a guy fighting, you're like, nah.

[1628] And then you see him, you're like, all right.

[1629] What do you mean?

[1630] Like, if you see a guy fight on tape, and then you kind of think one thing, and then you see him fight live, and you're like, okay.

[1631] I might be the only person that has seen more people fight live than seeing people fight.

[1632] I thought that as I was saying.

[1633] Yeah, I see.

[1634] Do you not do a lot of prep?

[1635] Well, I do.

[1636] I'm why my prep really is what I would be doing anyway it's like I'm such a fanatic about MMA that I don't have to do any extra shit like in I ask them for shit like the UFC will get me shit all the time I'll say hey I need I need some video on like Henan Barrow or something like right I want to watch the videos so they'll they'll send me some shit so I'm like constantly being like fed stuff just out of my own curiosity right like I want to see I missed one of its fights in WEC can you send me Miguel Torres when he fought Brian Bull and by doing that that's natural for me I want to see those I'm always like breaking down like fights in my head as far as like fights that went on in the past are you good at predicting shit Are you good at like I never really predict But not predicting It has to be It has to be pretty over the top for me to predict Not predict but I'm saying like do you Are you surprised by most outcomes I'm surprised often Yeah I don't think I could I don't think I don't think I don't think I don't think I could ever guess better than 50 -50.

[1637] I don't think it's...

[1638] Maybe, shit, maybe...

[1639] I've never really thought about it.

[1640] I've never really said...

[1641] I try to be as objective as possible.

[1642] I'm trying to couch the Tyson Foreman -Ali comparison.

[1643] I don't make that ultimate decision.

[1644] I try to be as objective as possible.

[1645] And it's because I'm not betting.

[1646] I don't have to make that ultimate decision.

[1647] So what I do is I sit down and I go, man, if Vitor gets him, Vitor's got some fast fucking hands.

[1648] Vitor comes out guns blazing.

[1649] He might catch him.

[1650] And then I go, but what a Vandale can get this motherfucker into the second round and what if he starts landing some leg kicks what if he can keep his hands up high and avoid the flurry and somehow another wear Vitor out what if he turns it into a dog fight you know and then you'll start going back and forth but I don't know what's going to happen I never say this is going to happen I only say this guy should probably be aware of this and that guy should probably be aware of that and let's fucking see because it's such a crazy fucking sport the human jaw It was never designed to be punched.

[1651] It was just designed to chew food.

[1652] That's it.

[1653] And when you start punching that motherfucker, and when you punch heads, heads were designed to take a certain amount of impact with the lumps and bumps that you're going to get going through life, but it's not designed to take one, two, three combinations with a fucking shin kick at the end of them.

[1654] Right.

[1655] Nobody takes that.

[1656] Your brain's like, what the fuck is happening?

[1657] Right.

[1658] Do we hit in an asteroid field?

[1659] Yeah.

[1660] Like, what's going on here?

[1661] Your body's just not designed for fighting.

[1662] It's so weak, especially in comparison to other animals, man. Are a lot of those guys getting concussed and long -term brain damage shit?

[1663] Well, there are guys, for sure, that are going to have some issues with what they call pugilistic a dimension, depending upon when they retire.

[1664] But you followed all the football guys?

[1665] Yes, it's scary.

[1666] I mean, it's terrible.

[1667] I think that it's going to, the sport will be different in five years.

[1668] How would they change it, though?

[1669] I think that they will go, someone pointed out, just put the fuck.

[1670] You know the helmets that soccer players wear now?

[1671] No. They're not helmets.

[1672] They're almost like, not fleeces.

[1673] Soccer players wear helmets now?

[1674] There's a soccer goalie.

[1675] I saw yesterday wearing one.

[1676] And little kids wear them too.

[1677] Because kids are getting concussions from playing soccer.

[1678] Yes.

[1679] Well, they're getting traumatic brain injuries from soccer.

[1680] But that's what I'm saying.

[1681] That's happening.

[1682] But kid, yeah.

[1683] So I saw goalie in a match yesterday wearing one of those things.

[1684] And I think that that's what football will come to.

[1685] Wow.

[1686] Well, how is that going to stop the traumatic brain injuries?

[1687] Because if you're not wearing a helmet, you're not going to go head first into a guy.

[1688] So they won't be wearing helmets?

[1689] They'll be wearing in my head.

[1690] They're wearing like soft, like whatever the, I don't know what the fuck they're called.

[1691] They're like, they're like soft helmets.

[1692] Meaning when guys were leather, like the leather head guys, they weren't, it wasn't as violent because they're protecting their heads.

[1693] I completely agree with you.

[1694] I completely agree with you in theory.

[1695] But people are so stupid.

[1696] I don't think you can sell that.

[1697] Right, but what I'm worried about is the legal ramifications for sports.

[1698] Well, that's one of the reasons why they probably couldn't sell it.

[1699] You can never sell, hey, the way to protect people is give them less protection.

[1700] I think that when every, when football players are now just suing the NFL en masse, I think that it's going to be a legal problem.

[1701] And I think the NCAA is going to have the same problem.

[1702] I think why every level, every level of football is going to have it.

[1703] They get fucked up down there too?

[1704] Yeah.

[1705] Yeah, they do, right?

[1706] Guys get not diagnosed.

[1707] guys getting put back in games they can't remember i didn't even think about college ball i didn't even think about it and high school i mean all of the time they get to the pros they probably already experienced a gang of all of them and the other in high school as well like and and so that's the thing is like they're not going to be able to insure this shit yeah if there's enough it's funny lawsuits for because for the few minutes of that conversation i didn't even consider the fact that they had gone through college career as well i just for whatever reason thought of them as professional athletes you know yeah i wasn't even thinking no these guys they're this is an organized sport.

[1708] This isn't like MMA.

[1709] They actually have to go through a high school career and a college career.

[1710] Think about all the impacts.

[1711] That's all so violent.

[1712] Woo!

[1713] Yeah.

[1714] What and, you know, just hope you can get enough out of your body that you can make enough money, you can squirrel away and live semi -comfortably in pain for the rest of your life when it's over.

[1715] Yes.

[1716] And that's the thing is a former athlete.

[1717] It's like, you want to talk about needing a farm.

[1718] Yeah.

[1719] I always do a joke with a buddy of mine who like, if you lose, like, Whenever I see a former athlete, I always feel like they should be with a girl, they should be saying to the girl, like, you should have been here eight years ago.

[1720] Shit was really popping off them, but now they're just limping and fucking, they're not famous, they're hunched over.

[1721] They got, but their bodies are fucking shot.

[1722] Yeah, you can get hurt playing football, man. That's a, that's a way more brutal sport on your body, in my opinion, than MMA.

[1723] MMA is pretty rough.

[1724] Don't get me wrong.

[1725] I mean, it's not working in an office.

[1726] No, but MMA ain't fucking 48 minutes or however long.

[1727] Well, more importantly, it's not dudes running at you.

[1728] Full speed, yeah.

[1729] And then lunging their rock.

[1730] Yeah, and they have special shoes.

[1731] Special shoes so they can dig into the dirt better.

[1732] Yeah.

[1733] Come on, man. And they're on every goddamn Mexican supplement known to man. I mean, these motherfuckers, when they say that they test the NFL, yeah, they test if you talk shit and you get in an argument with somebody, they'll fucking pull your piss out and pull your card.

[1734] You think those guys aren't on the juice?

[1735] You got to be out of your mind.

[1736] There's no way humans are that big.

[1737] If they are, we need to find out what the fuck they're putting in burgers.

[1738] Yeah.

[1739] Why have humans grown so much over the past few years?

[1740] And not lost any speed.

[1741] Decades.

[1742] Yes.

[1743] Not lost any speed.

[1744] They're just as fast.

[1745] Well, for sure, there's better methods as far as training and they're more scientific.

[1746] Yeah, but they're not that much.

[1747] I mean, that's the thing is it's not fucking, you can't be fucking 610.

[1748] Did you ever see Bob Sapp?

[1749] No. You never seen Bob Sapp.

[1750] Who is he?

[1751] Bob Sapp was the ultimate MMA experiment As far as like he was a football player Pro football player who became the ultimate MMA experiment In that how much can you do How much shit can you do?

[1752] How big can you get And would that overcome technique and skill And the answer in a lot of cases was the beginning It was yes He just knocked his out He actually he knocked or he beat Ernesto Hoost Twice Ernesto Hoost is his world famous kickbox boxer, Bob Sap is 370 pounds with six pack of abs.

[1753] Right.

[1754] And a body that doesn't even look real.

[1755] Just doesn't look real.

[1756] And he throws punches and kicks like a guy.

[1757] Just runs out of a guy.

[1758] But it's coordinated.

[1759] Yeah, I mean, fairly coordinated.

[1760] He means it clearly like many, many skill levels below Ernesto Hust.

[1761] But Ernesto Hust just couldn't deal with the physical power of his onslaught.

[1762] It was just too big.

[1763] It was a 370 -pound man. Just coming out.

[1764] Those didn't exist before.

[1765] He didn't exist.

[1766] You can't get a guy that big.

[1767] Yeah.

[1768] If you see him, I'm going to pull it up because you just can't believe it.

[1769] It just, you won't believe that that's a real human being.

[1770] You won't believe it.

[1771] Yeah, so I'm of the mind that it's going to, it's going to change.

[1772] You know those cryo chambers now?

[1773] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1774] I know dudes that, like, the couple NBA guys, the son's actually just bought one.

[1775] Yeah.

[1776] And a hyperbaric chamber.

[1777] No, it's, I don't think that's what it is.

[1778] a cryogenic chamber.

[1779] For what?

[1780] Guys will freeze their.

[1781] Kobe does it.

[1782] Dirk does it.

[1783] The sons just bought one.

[1784] My buddy Blake Griffin does it.

[1785] And he sent me a video.

[1786] You get into, you get naked in a, basically looks like just the chamber from like Austin Powell.

[1787] Come here and look at this because you can't believe this shit.

[1788] And you freeze yourself?

[1789] You can't believe that that's what he looks like when he fights guys.

[1790] That's real.

[1791] Look at that picture.

[1792] That's real.

[1793] That's real.

[1794] That's like six foot four.

[1795] 370 pounds and he's fighting some poor kickboxer some poor dude is slinging gloves with that guy and that's what he does he gets on top of him holds him down and smashes him it's fucking insane yeah he did that to Ernesto Hoost I mean you look at that image and you go how is a human being that big they've never existed that big before yeah no so so you get to a chamber it's negative 300 degrees whoa for how long for like 30 second spurts for like two minutes.

[1796] 30 seconds?

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] I don't know if it's 30 seconds.

[1799] I could be dead wrong.

[1800] Jesus Christ.

[1801] It's some.

[1802] And what happens is all of your blood, your body thinks you're just freezing to death.

[1803] So all of your blood goes to your core and gets replenished in what would normally take 24 hours.

[1804] Whoa.

[1805] So basically you can work out twice.

[1806] You can do two four hour workouts, full four hour.

[1807] like rejuvenates your body i've never heard of this before cry i mean i'll split expanse it again cryogenic chamber or cryo or cry to cryotherapy Kobe Bryant there's one in uh there's one in um what uh in like Hancock park the guy has one and the and the NBA teams are starting to use them well you know anything that can increase your recovery is where it's at you know wow freezes his body a negative 166 degree chiro therapy That's he saying?

[1808] Cryo?

[1809] Cryotherapy.

[1810] Wow.

[1811] First article about it.

[1812] What's a fuck, man. That's scary.

[1813] Yeah.

[1814] And you just, it's like, it's fucking bananas.

[1815] Banana.

[1816] Wow.

[1817] This is nuts, man. Let's see how long it says.

[1818] They got recovery boots, which is something that they wear if they have, it, it basically is like the, the thing that when you get your heart rate checked, when they blow it up, it inflates and tightens your muscles.

[1819] The guys will wear it.

[1820] Guys in the NBA wear those at night for a couple hours, and it just goes through their life and just fucking, they're just machines.

[1821] That's the thing is they just treat themselves like machines.

[1822] Yeah, they have to be.

[1823] Oh, okay, all the Lakers are going on this thing.

[1824] They went to Sacramento, go on this thing.

[1825] Yeah.

[1826] Jesus.

[1827] Hold on.

[1828] I have video of it.

[1829] Do you really?

[1830] Yeah.

[1831] Not a lot.

[1832] What if that shit breaks, and that's how you.

[1833] Some guy, I heard some guy froze his socks to his feet, but that sounds like.

[1834] That sounds made up, doesn't it?

[1835] I want to know how long it goes for.

[1836] Oh, like if you had sweaty feet and you went in there.

[1837] Oh, you crazy bitch.

[1838] Could you imagine?

[1839] You know, you crazy mother -shund.

[1840] 200 degrees below zero where they were kept there for three minutes before being released.

[1841] What?

[1842] Three minutes?

[1843] How's that possible?

[1844] Because they don't do it straight through.

[1845] I don't understand that.

[1846] They do it in spurts so that you don't fucking freeze.

[1847] Lakers were split into groups of four.

[1848] and placed into a room that was approximately 60 degrees below Fahrenheit for one minute.

[1849] Okay, so they went to a 60 degree below zero room for one minute.

[1850] Just to chill.

[1851] Just to chill.

[1852] Once their bodies got used to the cold climate, the players walked into an adjacent room where the temperature was approximately 200 degrees below zero where they were kept there for three minutes before being released.

[1853] Jesus fucking Christ.

[1854] I would not want to do.

[1855] How is that possible?

[1856] All right, here's Blake.

[1857] Oh, my God.

[1858] If you hit play.

[1859] So if you tried to pee right after that, would your shit be like slushy?

[1860] Who is this gentleman?

[1861] That's Blake Griffin from the Los Angeles Clippers.

[1862] Oh, my God, he's freezing his dick off, literally.

[1863] Look at that.

[1864] Do you go to, can you insulate your dick?

[1865] How does that work?

[1866] I don't think you can.

[1867] Grease it up.

[1868] Yeah, maybe you could crease it up.

[1869] I'm just worried about it cracking.

[1870] You put, like, motor oil on it?

[1871] I'm worried about it cracking, like, you know, if someone who hit you in a destroy it.

[1872] shattered and they couldn't repair your dick yeah no but you see when it hits he goes like woo yeah that looks horrendous it looks like some austin power shit it looks horrendous it looks and i guess they don't do it to the brain though huh uh yeah i guess keep your head the fuck out yeah it keeps the body uh under that thing but they don't do it to the brain and i think that might be the key to your survival that's how you're getting through that this is crazy too because you could probably go for that long without much oxygen you're not going to be doing too much breathing while you're at 200 degrees below zero.

[1873] That's the thing about cold water that fucks people up too.

[1874] Your desire for oxygen increases dramatically and your ability to hold air in your lungs reduces dramatically.

[1875] These are the recovery boots and he's 610 and they look like fucking, I don't even know how to describe those.

[1876] I've seen those before Ryan Parsons turn me on to that shit.

[1877] It's like compresses sections of your leg.

[1878] Yeah, I've seen that before it is it looks like a like a fucking ski bag yeah these guys are athletes on a just completely different level these days um and what happens if they come up with genetic engineering man that's that's when things are really going to get bizarre when they have the ability to engineer the body to make it faster or make it you know the with myelstatin inhibitors make it so that your body produces more muscle and stay keeps on you and you well that's what i actually the thought better yeah actually the thought where when I was talking to Jose Canseco was on the podcast The Champs Yeah, how was that?

[1879] You said he was interesting.

[1880] It was great.

[1881] He was really interesting.

[1882] It just went up.

[1883] It's really, but I was thinking iTunes, the Champs.

[1884] Yeah.

[1885] I had the thought afterward that he, they should have done a thing in the MLB where you could have one, you could have a designated juicer where there was one guy on your team that you could bring in who was on fucking Roy.

[1886] Like, and then they, and then they could have one pitcher that was on.

[1887] Royce because he was saying that he used to knock petted up andy petted a pitcher up and they were both juiced up oh so it's like it'd be like and here comes the fucking the yankees juicer like if they if there was a guy on every team you could have one juicer when i was 19 i met kensego when i was working at the Boston athletic club but didn't meet him as much as i gazed upon his presence in person and he was at the peak of his popularity and uh he walked into the weight room with the Boston Athletic, I couldn't fucking believe how big he was.

[1888] Yeah.

[1889] He was fucking enormous, man. He's just, cartoonish.

[1890] Yeah, car fucking tunish.

[1891] You don't realize him when you see him in those baseball outfits.

[1892] Yeah.

[1893] Because those outfits are kind of emasculating.

[1894] Yeah.

[1895] You know, but if you saw that dude with a tanked up on, you go, what the fuck?

[1896] You'd be like, what am I?

[1897] Yeah, what am I, how when I, yeah.

[1898] He's enormous.

[1899] Uh, but yeah, that's the, these, yeah, just they fucking, once they get into that.

[1900] Because this is, that's, that's genetic.

[1901] That's all legal.

[1902] You're just freezing.

[1903] But it's going to get more and more and more, and it's going to be, still remain legal.

[1904] Right.

[1905] Yeah, it is going to get more and more.

[1906] Did you see that thing now where they said if you run differently, you can cut your training time down where if you run in 30 second sprints?

[1907] Did you see that?

[1908] It was in the New York Times and then a guy just wrote a book about it.

[1909] If you can run for like, you can burn the same amount of calories and get your metabolism going and get your heart rate going in basically.

[1910] six minutes what would normally take 20 if you sprint for 30 seconds jog for 30 sprint jog sprint jog sprint jog sprint jog sprint jog and you're done yeah really yeah getting your heart rate up is the good thing right it was in the times probably six weeks ago so you sprint full clip yeah so do you do this on a treadmill or do this you can do it either you can either I mean I think treadmill would be better you could probably do it on an elliptical machine too right just go crazy yeah 30 seconds and then stop and then jog yeah that I that is great because it's fucking save time.

[1911] That makes sense.

[1912] You know, like you were saying about kettlebells, you can bang out a workout and get it done.

[1913] And in 20 minutes, you're done.

[1914] I got a video, man, and it's an extreme kettlebell cardio DVD.

[1915] I got it from dragondoor .com.

[1916] And when you do this, this thing, it's maybe I can get 45 minutes into this and I'm fucking dead.

[1917] I'm done, man. Yeah, and you're in great shape.

[1918] There's one I do that's, like there's, it's kettlebells, pushups, burpees, more kettlebell.

[1919] They go, how long does you work out?

[1920] Like, 45 minutes max.

[1921] That's all I can do.

[1922] They're like, that's all you can do.

[1923] He does at the gym for fucking two hours stay.

[1924] Yeah, fucking did my lats, did the, yeah.

[1925] And then, but you also don't even know what, you ever do the thing with kettlebells where you're like, why is that sore?

[1926] I didn't even fucking do anything.

[1927] And you're like, your lower thigh will be sore.

[1928] And you're just like, I guess I did something.

[1929] It makes it use.

[1930] Yeah, Turkish get -ups.

[1931] You ever do those?

[1932] Is that the one that looks really?

[1933] Stupid?

[1934] No, you line your back and you do like a press.

[1935] I think that's the one where you go and then you like slowly and stand it.

[1936] It looks stupid as fuck.

[1937] Oh, it's the best thing ever.

[1938] No, it looks really hard, but you just lay on your back with a weight and then you just slowly stand up.

[1939] Let me tell you something.

[1940] Dude, do that with 70 pounds.

[1941] Hold that, hold 70 pounds up and slowly stand up and do it in a controlled manner and do it for like sets of 10.

[1942] Woo, doggy.

[1943] Oh, no, I'm not doing that.

[1944] You know, your body be on fire.

[1945] Your lower back and your abs and everything.

[1946] your arm, your shoulder, everything's on fire.

[1947] Have you been doing kettlebells, or did Ferris get you on them?

[1948] No, I've been doing them for years.

[1949] I've been doing them for a long time.

[1950] Like, I didn't do them.

[1951] Like, my friend Jamie was a personal trainer, and he was real big on these fucking things.

[1952] I'd never even heard of them before.

[1953] We started just doing swings.

[1954] Yeah.

[1955] Just kettlebell swings.

[1956] Yeah.

[1957] That's what's great for your ass.

[1958] Yeah.

[1959] That's what Gabe took my ass from 3 .5 to a 7.

[1960] How many do you do?

[1961] What do you do it?

[1962] How do you do it?

[1963] Fucking three sets of 60?

[1964] Yeah.

[1965] Oh, you do lightweight and just do a lot of them?

[1966] Do you ever do body weight?

[1967] No, but I also, it's, I am only 150 pounds, so if I do 30 pounds, right, that's a lot, yeah, it's not lightweight, it's like something.

[1968] If you're doing reps of 60, no, that's a lot.

[1969] Yeah.

[1970] And that's not even necessary.

[1971] Bodyweight squats, they're amazing, man. They're called Hindu squats.

[1972] If you look at it online, just Google Hindu squats on YouTube, but you, it's just full body weight.

[1973] You drop down, and your heels come off the ground, you're on the tip of your toes, and your ass and your ankles collide and then you stand all the way up so you drop all the way down and all the way up and you if you watch it online you can see like there's a lot of um videos that'll show you the correct way to do it it's real simple but once you understand the movement then it's all about just doing massive numbers of them trying to get as how many what's the i do a set of 200 it took a long time to get there though yeah it would be 100 and i would have to stop i could do 200 before but I had to take like a break but now I can do 200 straight 200's hard but I'm doing 210 now that's my next thing I want to do 210 I want to build up to 500 that's what I want to eventually do yeah but I think that's possible I think it's a good it's a good demonstration of willpower too it's a good exercise for me because I like to disassociate when I'm doing repetitive exercise things that can cause you to second guess yourself right and about the exercise yeah about the exercise about quitting right intense physical I mean nobody's in my room nobody's screaming right I don't have a drill sergeant it's just me so the way I motivate myself is I make myself do shit where I have to silence that voice of quitting where there's no getting through it unless we do 400 is just that's what we're doing there's nothing there's nothing just concentrate on the number and keep going there is no quitting it doesn't exist as long as I never quit when I'm doing that then that is just my modus operandi that's how that's how I operate and I do it as like an exercise of that's how I quit smoking about negative shit yeah just I know now if I smoke one cigarette I'm going to smoke 10 ,000 so I just got to stop how long did you smoke for 10 years I was just like I'm never smoking I just made the decision I'm never smoking how much better did you feel when you stopped uh it was 10 years ago so I don't even remember but yeah you feel way better more energy more like and more everything um and then that's and you just just go like okay i'm not going to smoke again somebody talked to poor brian poor brian someone's got to tell him to quit smoking he's smoking just decide not to him man you're right he won't listen to you he doesn't care he's he's he's positive he's never getting cancer there's no worries i use it for my voice keep some sexing does it keep your second my voice yeah and actually i use it for meals like today i'm not even going to have a chance to eat that's a good move that's a very good move now that I agree with you're going to be able to fight off that's something I can get behind your body's not even going to be healthy enough to fight off the cancer because you use it as a dietary aid yeah I got to take a leak I'm going to take the king of all leaks all right go ahead and we'll talk about you where you're gone ahead and we'll wrap the shit up as soon as you get back because we've been doing it for like two and a half hours right yeah we have a nice off show and oh yeah we're in Pasadena in a couple hours if you're around if you're not crazy or a stalker can't wait see tom sigur again yeah i've seen him in a while tom cigar is the shit he's a great guy um fort lauderdale this weekend uh saturday night is uh essentially sold out um i think there was a few tickets left for the early show but those might be gone um and uh the friday show has some tickets left and the sunday show has some tickets left but they're going fast it should be a good time to him with duncan and duncan's been in the fucking groove.

[1974] I took him with me to the Louisville improv and it was amazing.

[1975] First of all, he was getting like standing ovation's going on stage.

[1976] Is he doing Hubba?

[1977] Which is crazy.

[1978] He didn't do the little hobba once.

[1979] He crushed it though.

[1980] He's got a lot of new material too.

[1981] Duncan is just, he's so fun to be with.

[1982] He's so prolific too.

[1983] He's going to be a great comedian now.

[1984] I mean, he's already a great comedian but I mean, I think he's going to be like a great national headliner.

[1985] Tell he meets that next girl.

[1986] You think that's going to get him?

[1987] You think that's going to get him?

[1988] No. He has a poster for sale.

[1989] Go to his website and buy it.

[1990] It's awesome.

[1991] I have one in the studio.

[1992] Yeah.

[1993] Duncantrusel .com.

[1994] T -R -U -S -S -E -L -L -L.

[1995] And there's still some tickets available for next Friday's late show at the Tabernacle in Atlanta.

[1996] I got two shows.

[1997] I'm filming my special.

[1998] I'm fucking fired up.

[1999] Who's all going?

[2000] That's April 20th.

[2001] Joey Diaz, Duncan, Trussell.

[2002] And are you going?

[2003] Yeah.

[2004] Okay.

[2005] Did they get your tickets and everything?

[2006] You're all set?

[2007] Yeah.

[2008] And Mike Maxwell actually made a post.

[2009] poster and he's going as well and uh you could buy that post for i think on max what is it mike maxwell art dot com i think he's coming to find him on twitter yeah he'll be there tonight too i'm going to sign some pictures but if we're doing dates right now yeah mike maxwell art on twitter um you could find uh the link uh to his website and on his website you can find the link to uh the poster it looks dope he's a killer artist he did my poster for the chicago show i think he still has a few of those available too he's amazing great art and a great guy really fun guy to hang out with so i'm i'm psyched that he's going to be there in at good vibes and can i say my thing yeah yeah yeah me and joey dyes are coming to columbus oh i the first show sold out so they added a second show me 17th and then may 18th in the woodlands uh yeah great it's a good room it's a good room right yeah may 18th i think we're in cleveland the may 19th pittsburg uh the tickets are at desk squad dot tv now you um what is the woodlands what is that it's uh this kid it's like just a bar but it's got a good room it's got a pretty decent room for stand up yeah it's like like a doug stanhope room you know that kind of place and they're doing a lot of comedy there yeah I think so yeah it's kid Dylan Shelton books it and he does it's good shows Columbus has like a bit of a comedy scene right but mostly because of the punchline mostly because people want to die there and they just wanted to laugh so it's wow is it that bad if you were to go I know Columbus is dude Columb I was just in Ohio I was in Cincinnati that shit was pretty grim yeah Cincinnati's grim and Chappelle live in Ohio he was so bored that he's like dude Why don't you return your rental car So I can drive her from Cincinnati to Cleveland I was like That's all right man Why does he live there?

[2010] Because it's families there It's a nice place for families It's like raising kids is a good place But he's just like Not a good place for you though Not I just don't like wet the weather But if you were to go there Joe You like dating way over your head It's really difficult to do there Yeah you can't do that They're all nobody's in good shape Yeah They're all in bad shape It's a few of them I mean, yeah, but they got boyfriends.

[2011] They'll all come to the show and they're locked up.

[2012] You know, guys, since we're talking about dates.

[2013] What, Neil Brennan?

[2014] Where are you performing?

[2015] Tomorrow, tomorrow, Thursday, April 12th through 14, I'm going to be in Bloomington, Indiana.

[2016] The Comedy Attic.

[2017] I would love to see it.

[2018] The Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana.

[2019] Is there a website for this joint?

[2020] Comedy Attic .com.

[2021] Comedy attic?

[2022] Attic.

[2023] Oh, Attic.

[2024] Oh, Comedy Attic.

[2025] Comedy Attic .com.

[2026] Okay, Paul.

[2027] April.

[2028] But it doesn't end.

[2029] there.

[2030] April 19th or 21st.

[2031] Next weekend, going to be at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey.

[2032] Wow.

[2033] Guys with Vinnie Brand 19th through 21st.

[2034] Great club.

[2035] Great club.

[2036] Charlotte May 3rd through 5th, the comedy zone in Charlotte.

[2037] Don't you have a website, motherfucker?

[2038] Just give out the website.

[2039] You're not going to remember.

[2040] Nealbrenna .com.

[2041] I'm coming to La Jolla, Denver, Charlotte.

[2042] He's going to lead off his whole New Brunswick and Bloomington.

[2043] Well, you guys if he kept going, he would have him.

[2044] Fuck you guys.

[2045] Fuck you, Joe Rogan.

[2046] We let him keep going.

[2047] We'd be here for days.

[2048] You're talking about your posters.

[2049] Yeah, Mike MaxwellArt .com.

[2050] Anything else, seriously?

[2051] Nealbrennan .com?

[2052] Denver, La Jolla.

[2053] Yeah, Neil Brennan.

[2054] And follow me on Twitter.

[2055] You're doing the Comedy Store in La Jolla?

[2056] Yeah.

[2057] Fabulous room.

[2058] One of the best.

[2059] One of my favorite room.

[2060] One of the best rooms.

[2061] It might be.

[2062] It might be one of the best room.

[2063] I really want to record an album there because it just feels like 1978 there.

[2064] It does.

[2065] Nick Deppalo recorded his album there.

[2066] Did he really?

[2067] Yeah, yeah, it's great.

[2068] One of his first one, I believe.

[2069] He recorded it there.

[2070] it's great fucking the acoustics are perfect yeah it's just it's it's it's like it's easy too that's here I mean but it's easy but it doesn't feel cheap it feels like we're just in a good mood you didn't know Fred you never met Fred who uh I think Fred's dead who used to run that place they fired him some I don't know some accounting discrepancy or something but he was great he was a comedian and he ran the place and he developed like a lot of local comedians were coming there too they had a nice local scene I think they still do yeah i think they do yeah it's probably the only one of the few local scenes in san diego there's another club a new club they just open one yeah what is it the american comedy company or is that what it is i think i heard good things yeah i haven't heard anything dude san diego's i needed a real comedy club for a while yeah every time i go i do like house of blues or something like i think the comedy sir that's a good room no it's a great room but it's not in san diega yeah it's but it's close enough it's close you know what i mean but you know the problem is it's the comedy store.

[2071] I can't work there.

[2072] Right.

[2073] Sure you can.

[2074] You fucked up.

[2075] You fucked up, Rogan.

[2076] You fucked up.

[2077] Sure you can.

[2078] I'm here to tell you you still can't work there.

[2079] I probably could if I wanted to.

[2080] No, I think you're right.

[2081] I can't work there.

[2082] I tell you what.

[2083] I think we should just get drunk and then one night just pop in there out of the blue.

[2084] What do you want to go to jail?

[2085] You can jump on the OR.

[2086] Do you want to go to jail?

[2087] They will let you in?

[2088] Yeah, I don't think so.

[2089] Yeah, they will.

[2090] I'm not even interested.

[2091] It's of zero desire.

[2092] But thank you very much.

[2093] Your name's on the Marquate the Life Hector right now.

[2094] Right next to him.

[2095] May, Jill.

[2096] Where?

[2097] Laugh Factory?

[2098] No. You're not Jimmy Brogan?

[2099] I'm kidding.

[2100] Somebody sent me a picture.

[2101] It was your name and my name.

[2102] Where?

[2103] The Laugh Factory.

[2104] No, I don't have a show scheduled there.

[2105] I haven't been there in over a decade.

[2106] Yeah.

[2107] I don't think you've ever been there since I've known you.

[2108] Yeah, I haven't been there in over a decade.

[2109] You know, not that it's a bad club.

[2110] No, no, no. I'm just trying to think why they, why it said that.

[2111] When I stopped, I stopped going to Laugh Factory when I got serious at the comedy store.

[2112] When I was like, you know, regularly at the comedy store, Mitzie asked me to not go there anymore.

[2113] I forget, it wasn't Mitsy, it was Scott Day, actually.

[2114] You know, did I tell you about this?

[2115] How Sam Tripoli started doing the Nottie show at the comedy store, and it started getting kind of popular?

[2116] And then what's his face at the Laugh Factory?

[2117] He started doing the comedy show also.

[2118] And he's his, so Sam went to him, was like, why are you?

[2119] Like, calls of the Nottie Show?

[2120] Yeah, and he's like, why are you doing?

[2121] He's like, oh, I used to do Nottie show in the 80s.

[2122] And I'm like, yeah, but you're only brought it back because we just started it back up here.

[2123] Jimmy Brogan.

[2124] Sorry, Mr. Jimmy.

[2125] Oh, okay.

[2126] Back up.

[2127] So what you're saying is the dude is doing another podcast and calling on a naughty show?

[2128] No, no, no, another podcast, doing another live show with strippers and everything like that called the naughty show.

[2129] And he's calling it to naughty show.

[2130] Yeah, the naughty show.

[2131] And it's doors down from the comedy store where Sam now does it.

[2132] Well, I want to be honest with you.

[2133] I think that's a terrible name.

[2134] And I think it only serves Sam right that he picks such a stupid name for his show.

[2135] And what he really should do is use this opportunity to come up with something, something that doesn't suck.

[2136] and that way some guy can't just gang it.

[2137] I think he should call it Sex Squad.

[2138] I think we get out on that.

[2139] The naughty show is a fun show to go to, but that's a terrible goddamn name.

[2140] Well, it's just kind of basic.

[2141] Nothing.

[2142] It means nothing.

[2143] It just be called naughty.

[2144] Like, the Sam Trippley happy party.

[2145] Yeah, something like Sam Tripley.

[2146] He should be using it to blow up himself.

[2147] Right.

[2148] Not the naughty show.

[2149] I agree.

[2150] It should be Sam Tripley's House of Fun.

[2151] That would be just as good.

[2152] And by the way, he still use the same mailing list, We'll promote it.

[2153] All right, Sam, we're going to help you out of this mess.

[2154] Fuck Jamie Misada.

[2155] Let him have that shit.

[2156] Buddy, I was doing it in the 80s.

[2157] That's probably what he said to you.

[2158] Buddy, I had, I had not this show in the 80s.

[2159] Let him have it, dude.

[2160] Just like you should have those girls have sex squad.

[2161] Let him have it.

[2162] It sucks.

[2163] I think he'll, I think he'd let me choke on it.

[2164] Let them have it.

[2165] Let them know everywhere they go that they could never have had it without you.

[2166] How about that?

[2167] The scrum cap is the name of that thing I was trying to describe.

[2168] Oh, I know what you're talking about.

[2169] A rugby.

[2170] Yeah.

[2171] I wear one of those jihitsu.

[2172] It's got little pads on it, but it's mostly cover my ears.

[2173] Yes.

[2174] Yeah.

[2175] Um, yeah, you'll die in that.

[2176] Those fucking giant dudes are smashed them.

[2177] But not if you're, not if they're not wearing one.

[2178] That's why they play.

[2179] We're not going to get people to adjust.

[2180] You're going to have to raise a whole new generation of human beings.

[2181] They're going to have to have helmeted and non -helmeted.

[2182] But then there's going to be that one thick -headed dude, like some big Samoan guy who just wants a head butt people.

[2183] Why are you throwing me under the bus about the sex squad thing?

[2184] I'm not throwing you under the bus.

[2185] You said you wanted to do the first episode and you told me to do it.

[2186] I think you should have no negative feelings out there.

[2187] And I think this girl's, look, for whatever reason, she's got a lot of issues.

[2188] Yeah, I just think that that could have been avoided.

[2189] And you could have come off like a bigger person.

[2190] That's all I'm saying.

[2191] But you're absolutely right.

[2192] Listen, Brian, you're not being honest about that.

[2193] No, you said, I'll do your new show.

[2194] No, you said, you need to do one ASAP And I'll be the first person on it And I was like, okay And you know what?

[2195] That was before I found out The other girl came up with the name No, I told you that too I was the first one that told you that No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you told me later You told me later Absolutely told me later Because it was in, because I had to give you a wait a minute, wait a minute That girl came in with a wait a minute Yeah, no, I told you that The first time I said it You might have thought you did But you did No, I did.

[2196] Brian?

[2197] Because I've never not said I didn't come up the name Do you call me a liar?

[2198] What are you saying?

[2199] This is poor social skills here What are you Asian?

[2200] That's not to call about So tonight Ice House Chronicles starts at 830 You're being a silly person Okay I think you should let those girls have that name Come up with a better name They should rot in hell They live in the hell of their own consciousness If they're angry at you That's right You don't want that buddy You don't want her out there with a voodoo doll Because she'd be putting the pins I just don't even want to talk about them ever again Give her a big hug What would be a better name sex squad, Neil.

[2201] You're a creative guy.

[2202] You were the co -creator of the Chappelle show.

[2203] If you had a show and you wanted to come up with your own podcast with hot chicks and what would you call it?

[2204] I think he's got a, I like the squad angle.

[2205] Because it's a death squad and it's about sex and it's a podcast about sex.

[2206] I know.

[2207] Let's talk about someone else.

[2208] How about the cunt posse?

[2209] No?

[2210] No. Hmm.

[2211] How about the we like cock patrol?

[2212] Yeah, that I'm with.

[2213] No?

[2214] No. Are you still there.

[2215] It's funny that so many podcasts are going to try to lean in on that porn angle, though, isn't it?

[2216] It's interesting.

[2217] It's like a natural angle.

[2218] We've had porn stars on our podcast.

[2219] It's hard to have a bad.

[2220] We had Sasha Gray on.

[2221] She's with a black dude.

[2222] And it was, it's fucking interesting.

[2223] She's fascinating because she's actually smart.

[2224] Yeah.

[2225] Dana Diarmada smart, too.

[2226] She's kind of crazy, but she's fun.

[2227] She's very smart.

[2228] We had her on.

[2229] Yeah, Sasha's like a regular cool chick.

[2230] Yeah, isn't that weird?

[2231] Yeah.

[2232] Regular cool chick that somehow or another is missing this future.

[2233] where she can just go take it in the ass in front of the world.

[2234] What's weird is it's the oldest formula in radio having a porn star on a show, you know, as like a guest, like Howard Stern, you know, opening Anthony, any kind of local radio station will always have a porn star on.

[2235] But that was even before you actually got to see it, which is crazy.

[2236] So now you got like U -Stream, we're doing, like the other 90 show we had the other day.

[2237] We had full -on nudity.

[2238] I had to take it off U -Stream because it was just ridiculous.

[2239] How dare they?

[2240] Would they do?

[2241] Dirty bitches trying to get you arrested.

[2242] By the way, you might get it.

[2243] arrested for shit like that.

[2244] You have to really be careful.

[2245] When you get those crazy bitches and they start fingering each other, you can go to jail for that.

[2246] Is that true?

[2247] Fuck yeah.

[2248] You can't just put, like, broadcast pornography.

[2249] Sam Tripoli's not a show.

[2250] Yeah, you get, first of all, U -Stream will pull you because they don't want to get sued.

[2251] But if someone finds out that you're like projected, like, if they find out that there's any sort of significant percentage of people on U -Stream that are showing people fucking, oh my God, he didn't go to jail.

[2252] Here's a question.

[2253] Because they actually weren't really too much of the nudity, but they took these stickers and put it on their boobs and then they did the whole podcast with the stickers on a boot but that seems you think that's fine that's all that's one of those weird double standard things yeah the boob meat is fine yeah boob meat is fine but you got to cover the nipple meat yeah and i think you only need to cover the the point of the nipple i think you could show some show ariola like if you have a star over the nipple itself but the circle of the ariola behind the star is very clear i think it's still okay it's so nuts we're so crazy yeah Human beings are so bizarre, or, excuse me, Americans.

[2254] American human beings.

[2255] When it comes to sex, we're so nuts.

[2256] You could put a star over the nipple.

[2257] Well, how about even this?

[2258] How about girls who are allowed to wear body paint?

[2259] They're fucking naked.

[2260] They're naked, but because they're blue, it's okay.

[2261] I wonder if you could put a nipple sticker on top of a nipple.

[2262] Do you know what I mean?

[2263] Like a sticker with a picture of a nipple on it.

[2264] If that would, with like an ape nipple.

[2265] I saw a photo from a friend of mine's Halloween party that he had a few.

[2266] years back when a bunch of girls came over with body paint on and like one girl's tits were dogs like they had made up but but there were tits right they were just tits would paint on them yeah and it was and every girl knew it and all the he said girls that were there they were dressed normal were so fucking pissed yeah they were so angry they're like who are these fucking whores yeah like we don't know that you're naked you stupid bitch yeah and you get fucking paint on your tit and you think that that's okay being shown up it was amazing what about the best part you ever went to What about mannequin nipples?

[2267] Because now I've got those mannequins nail on big nipples.

[2268] No, those are totally kosher.

[2269] Yeah, it's not even real.

[2270] It's like, you know, animated.

[2271] If you drew an animated nipple, what are you going to say?

[2272] Nobody could say anything, I don't think.

[2273] I don't think that even counts as pornography.

[2274] It's definitely not mannequins, man. I mean, the mannequins, it's not like a sex toy.

[2275] Like, if you had, like, a real doll in the background and you could see the real doll's tit, that's probably, that's tricky, but not a mannequin, right?

[2276] Yeah, but even the fact that it's like, I actually asked this to a bunch of a female audience one time like if there were robots like good robots in the future and you you caught your husband fucking a robot would you be mad right and they were like yeah and i was like but what if it looked like if it was like a real doll and i was like what if it looked like the terminator right they had no problem with it yeah i think well as long as they're an ugly robot well that's why people are weirded out if you fuck a fleshlight but they're not weirded out if you masturbate but if fuck something.

[2277] A physical object, it has to be, like, awesome.

[2278] It can't be a fake pussy in a tube.

[2279] Like, what is that?

[2280] What are you doing?

[2281] What if the future that you had a robot that looked exactly like yourself, but that you fucked?

[2282] I agree.

[2283] It's not gay at all.

[2284] I don't want to impose my sexuality on the rest of the world, and I don't want to treat women as objects, so I would never have a fake woman.

[2285] So in having a fake me, essentially what I'm doing is I'm taking the hit.

[2286] I'm taking the hit myself.

[2287] With a vagina.

[2288] And I'm just knowing that if I was in jail with me, I'd be a bro.

[2289] I'd let you fuck me. That'd be so weird seeing yourself.

[2290] Do I have?

[2291] I love kissing yourself.

[2292] What if your fake robot is like an awesome tongue?

[2293] It's like, oh, I love kissing you.

[2294] You're pushing your own head down.

[2295] You sucked it.

[2296] Yeah.

[2297] All right, I'll suck you dick.

[2298] I'm your robot.

[2299] It's me, bro.

[2300] It's me, dude.

[2301] How do you like it?

[2302] Oh, I know how you like it.

[2303] I'm you.

[2304] But on that mode, Brian, I'm sorry if you feel like I threw you under the bus with a suck squad.

[2305] I didn't mean to, buddy.

[2306] I don't want you to have any hard feelings.

[2307] I'm just trying to eliminate negativity in all of our lives.

[2308] I hear you, brother.

[2309] And I've never had a bad time with either one of those girls.

[2310] I've always had fun with them.

[2311] They were always nice to me. So I hate to see something that I think could have been possibly avoided.

[2312] I don't know.

[2313] Just a nice phone call, right, Joe?

[2314] Hey, man, I don't know what the fuck happened, for real.

[2315] I just, there's no need.

[2316] There's a lot of real beefs out there in this world.

[2317] There's a lot of real drama.

[2318] You don't need to.

[2319] Unnecessary.

[2320] White.

[2321] All right, you fucking dirty freaks.

[2322] That's the end of this week, this whole week of podcast.

[2323] Fort Lauderdale Improv this weekend with Duncan Trussell Thursday, Friday, no, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

[2324] And then we'll be back next week with at least one podcast, but next week I'm filming my special in Atlanta.

[2325] Are you really?

[2326] Congrats, man. Yes, thank you.

[2327] The Tabernacle on Friday, so I'm going to be concentrated on that almost more than anything.

[2328] And that's it.

[2329] All right.

[2330] Love you, see soon.

[2331] Bye -bye.

[2332] Bye.

[2333] Did you do the commercials?

[2334] Oh, yeah.

[2335] Oh, I've got to do commercials.

[2336] Oh, yeah.

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[2341] On it, you get 10.

[2342] But forget that Rogan code.

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[2344] Boom.

[2345] that's it you dirty freaks we'll see you tonight at the ice house see you this weekend fort lauderdale see you next week some strange tabernic podcasts and then the tabernacle jihad to you all