#823 - Eleanor Kerrigan

[0] Yes Eleanor What's up my friend So good to see you What's up with you?

[1] Eleanor, my long running friend One of my longest running friends in Hollywood And a girl who's now A professional, legit professional stand -up comic Who I always knew for years as a waitress I always tell everybody this story But it's true Eleanor was my go -to person To find out if somebody was a hack Like there would be Like someone would say Oh you got to check out this person they're amazing i'd go okay cool and then i go eleanor did you see uh blah blah blah she's like fucking hack and there was a lot of people that got tricked you know oh trickery is big in comedy a lot of people who we thought were like you think they're legit and you see them a few times you're like oh something going on here yeah there's a lot of them there was a lot of them i feel like and i used to tell my customers i'd be like all right here you're going to want to go to the bathroom.

[2] You want to stay in there for a while.

[3] Well, when you came to the store, you were at the store before I was.

[4] 93.

[5] Yeah, I came in 94.

[6] So when I was there, you were already there, but those were dark ears.

[7] There was not the beginning.

[8] In the beginning, I was still doing three shows in the OR, two shows in the main room.

[9] Was it like 97, 98?

[10] It just kind of, yeah, around there.

[11] Somewhere there.

[12] Yeah, because it got bad.

[13] Yeah, well, when we first got there, Martin Lawrence was.

[14] on top and he would come there all the time and fill the place yeah my uh sort of like how louie does now yes and uh jo rogan yeah that guy but no but i'm my first ex -fiancee used to represent um martin lawrence oh that's right yeah i have a couple ex -fiances whatever not a closer guys not yet not yet but you were um you were like you were like receiving like a master class in comedy before you ever did it oh my god yeah like i would watch them all the time because then when i wasn't at the store i was with my fiance and we'd be at comedy clothes we were on the road with chris rock when he was doing bring the paint because chris was his other um eight a client so it was like watching everybody that's how i became friends with shiripa through my first ex -fiance so we would go to all he would let us come when shirip was booking the riviera yeah and then i would help them book people once in a blue moon and of course they all get band idiots isn't it crazy that shrippa was booking the riviera we always knew him as like this booking guy who was really fun to hang out with so fun he was just such a great guy and then all the sudden he's on the fucking greatest show of all time like what it was so weird for me to watch him on the sopranos i know how is this possible he's like i might get this part i'm like what and i mean we were all like freaking out like are you kidding and then he finally told me he goes I finished the paperwork today.

[15] I'm like, oh, my God.

[16] I was freaking out.

[17] I couldn't wait to see him on the Sopranos.

[18] You know, he has the best fucking spaghetti sauce in the world.

[19] I know.

[20] I have to try it.

[21] It's really good.

[22] I still don't get it.

[23] What is it called?

[24] Look up Steve Sharipa's sauce, like something New York.

[25] Which one on Sopranos was he?

[26] Was he a younger, clean cup.

[27] He's Bobby Bobbi.

[28] Yeah, they made him put a gut suit on.

[29] Like, they made him, like, he wasn't that big.

[30] He's pretty big now.

[31] Like, if you wanted to do it now, I probably wouldn't have to wear it.

[32] It's all that sauce.

[33] He's eating good.

[34] What are you want for me?

[35] He's a fucking character.

[36] God, thank God for people like that.

[37] There it is.

[38] Uncle Steve's, that's what it is.

[39] Uncle Steve.

[40] I knew it was something like that.

[41] And what is the, is it Uncle Steve's, N .Y. N .com.

[42] Uncle Steve's NY .com.

[43] But he has amazing pasta sauce.

[44] And we've known this guy forever.

[45] Easily, yeah.

[46] Like, I feel like I've known him since the day I got here.

[47] Yeah, I've known him forever.

[48] And he's always been awesome.

[49] Because he did, he booked like big, like that for Billy like my ex he introduced me to Lichtenberg my business manager it's been my business manager forever oh wow he got the stamp of approval from Sharipa I'm like that he's a good guy he's a good guy he's a good guy he's a real guy he's a real person but we you know we've we've had a chance to see a lot of like we got a chance to see Richard Pryor together yeah remember those days did uh for a year I remember I was so nervous I was in the the office at the comedy store and i brought him in water and i was like oh my god it's richard because we used to get punished for listening to his stuff so then i was like i told him that and he's like that's good and then later on his wife wouldn't let me bring him the tunis he used to call martini he's like bring me a tuni to me a tuni so i was like it's richard pryor i'll bring him whatever he wants if he asks for cocaine i'm going to go find it you know what i'm like it's exciting so uh i brought up to him and she made me change it to water Like she made me change it I love her I know what she was doing But at the same time It's like he's sick Let him have his friggin Martini You know what I mean And I brought it on stage And he sipped it And he knew it was water And he was like bitch I was like oh my God Richard Pryor doesn't like me Oh no Because of that bitch Why No I'm just kidding But yeah I didn't want to get in trouble I didn't know If it was his meds That would counteract You never know Why she was doing it But No I hear you I mean Ultimately you have to listen to her she's like she was running shit yeah so i did it yeah he did it a long time i i had to go on after him a lot oh yeah for a year he did a year he did monday wednesday friday and then it switched down to just wednesday yeah i don't remember how many times i went on after him but i remember i bombed basically every single one of them like i might have got over a couple of times it was packed remember it was just it was weird too because he was really ill yeah because Chewy would carry him on.

[50] Chewy and who else?

[51] Fat James.

[52] No, was it Fat James?

[53] No, I don't think it was Fat James.

[54] I don't think it was.

[55] Please.

[56] It was Marilyn Martinez's his husband.

[57] Oh, David.

[58] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[59] David used to help him.

[60] Okay, oh, yeah.

[61] Him and Chewley used to help Richard Pryor get to the stage.

[62] Yeah, now I remember.

[63] I'm afraid to put my headphones all the way else.

[64] Don't think I'm weird.

[65] I don't know.

[66] I have a paranoia.

[67] You worry that someone's going to sneak up on you?

[68] I don't know what that bear is doing.

[69] You sort of blocked his filly.

[70] That's that old school Philly.

[71] So I got to leave the one ear out.

[72] Do you know Philly has a UFC lightweight champion of the world now?

[73] No, I did not know that.

[74] Eddie Alvarez.

[75] Oh, wow.

[76] He's from Philly?

[77] How come I didn't know that?

[78] That stinks.

[79] But that's awesome.

[80] And how were the fights this weekend?

[81] How was it?

[82] It's insane.

[83] Yeah.

[84] The Eddie Alvarez one was probably the most insane.

[85] Well, I didn't watch any.

[86] Eddie Alvarez was a big underdog.

[87] He fell Hafeld Los Anjos on the internet.

[88] It was on the internet.

[89] It was on the internet.

[90] It was only on UFC fight.

[91] Reflex is like a cat.

[92] Kill him.

[93] I'm on UFC Fight Pass, and so I don't think a lot of people, I don't know how many people watch the Fight Pass ones, but I don't think, I know it's not as much as Fox.

[94] I don't think it's as much as a pay -per -view, but I could be wrong at this point, because I know there's millions and millions of people who have Fight Pass now, so I don't know the actual numbers, but Fight Pass is awesome.

[95] You can watch every fight that's, like, ever taken place, and they have a few World Title Fights on it now.

[96] So that World Title Fight was a part of the three -day celebration.

[97] So it was Hafeo Dosangos versus Eddie Alvarez for the lightweight title.

[98] And then it was Yuanja Jacek and Claudecadilla on Friday night for the women's strawway title.

[99] And then there was the big UFC 200.

[100] So it was the three nights of insane fights.

[101] It's insane.

[102] Yeah.

[103] I think I came off stage when the girls were fighting and I went to show my friend the bar at the comedy store, you know, the back bar.

[104] And I was like, oh, come in here.

[105] And everybody was like, oh, I forgot.

[106] I thought we're doing comedy.

[107] Sorry, guys.

[108] I'm going to go out.

[109] Yeah.

[110] So, but yeah, it was crazy.

[111] It was cool to a lot.

[112] It was cool to a lot.

[113] He killed it.

[114] Dude, Brock Lesnar beat a world...

[115] Barack Obama fought?

[116] Like, a world -class heavyweight.

[117] How dare you?

[118] Sorry, I'm just asking a question, guys.

[119] Yeah, he beat a world -class heavyweight.

[120] It's crazy.

[121] He beat Mark Hunt.

[122] I mean, he fucking legitimately beat Mark Hunt.

[123] He avoided getting knocked out on his feet.

[124] He took him down like a fucking gorilla.

[125] He took him down like nobody can.

[126] You watch him take Mark Hunt down You're like, Jesus, who's stopping that?

[127] How are you stopping that?

[128] His horsepower is just so insane.

[129] When he gets a holy judge, it's just, Boom!

[130] And he's taking him down.

[131] Because Mark Hunt's a difficult guy to take down, and Mark Hunt is all of 265 pounds.

[132] He's a big fucking guy.

[133] So for Brock to do that to him that way, Jesus Christ, he's ridiculous.

[134] I could probably beat him.

[135] I could probably take his ass.

[136] What a good example of somebody that doesn't supposedly use steroids too.

[137] Look, that guy's a monster.

[138] His muscles are crazy.

[139] And supposedly, he got tested, right?

[140] Yeah, he got tested for this fight.

[141] He got tested five times within like a very short period of time.

[142] But let's just be completely honest in the nature of open discourse.

[143] Okay.

[144] When you look at someone and they're jacked as fucked, it could easily be genetics.

[145] Because there are girls that have giant tits for no reason.

[146] All right.

[147] I don't think we should bring this up.

[148] And you're like, what in the hell?

[149] And they're 100 % natural.

[150] And then there's some girls that are just, they don't have very large boobs.

[151] Yeah.

[152] Thank you.

[153] There's a lot of girls besides you.

[154] There's a lot of people out there that have this thing going on.

[155] Yes.

[156] This testosterone.

[157] But there's just a giant difference between human shapes.

[158] Absolutely.

[159] And so there are people that are built like that.

[160] My friend Sidley, as a buddy of mine from back in Boston, he was jacked.

[161] And he didn't even lift weights.

[162] He's this Jamaican kid that I was friends with.

[163] Oh, my God.

[164] He was fucking, he was ridiculously yoked.

[165] And he barely worked out.

[166] I mean, he did, like, kickboxing things and some push -ups, maybe.

[167] He was never lifting weights.

[168] Like, he was just doing martial arts stuff, and he was jacked.

[169] My brother Charlie was like that, always mussely.

[170] Up until, like, two years ago, it just changed.

[171] Don't tell him I said that.

[172] Oh, too late.

[173] You know that little kid?

[174] He doesn't know how to listen to a podcast.

[175] You know, the little kid, the little muscle kid that was super ripped with his kid?

[176] That's what a poor little kid.

[177] Have you seen him now?

[178] No. He works at Universal Studios in the Water World exhibit.

[179] He's like a stunt guy.

[180] And now he's just normal, normal kind of has a beer gut now.

[181] Like he stopped lifting because he said it was boring.

[182] Man, well, wasn't that a case of, didn't they allege that his parents had had him on steroids?

[183] Yeah.

[184] Probably steroid.

[185] Oh, that's awful.

[186] No, no, it's really sad.

[187] If that's the same story that I'm thinking about, I think there's been more than one of those, like little yolk dudes.

[188] I know this is one little yoke dude that had that genetic disorder that cows have sometimes and those whipet dogs have sometimes.

[189] Oh, we had a whipet.

[190] Have you ever seen that the whipet dogs that get the double muscle disorder?

[191] No, my dog was lazy, but she was a whippet.

[192] It's different.

[193] I mean, I just assume if they have the extra muscle, they'd be more.

[194] No, there's this thing that happens to whippets and some cows.

[195] It's called a myostatin inhibitor.

[196] And a myostatin inhibitor, apparently, it regulates the amount of muscle tissue that you carry around with you.

[197] Okay.

[198] So when these Whippets get it, they look like the Hulk.

[199] They look fake.

[200] They look like a movie.

[201] I've seen pictures of it.

[202] Jim, pull up a photo of a Wippet, myostatin inhibitor dog.

[203] You know how to spell that?

[204] Miosatin.

[205] But apparently there's a boy in Germany, at least one kid that's confirmed that was born with this disorder.

[206] so he's really young but he's jacked he's just fucking super yoke baby I don't mind being jacked this is what the dogs look like oh yeah yeah men look at their face so sweet it's really weird they're usually a very slender dog very kangaroo looking yeah dude kangaroos scare the fuck out of me now it's like all of a sudden they started getting jacked I saw a lot of them in Australia big ones when I was a kid when I was a kid Do you think they lift?

[207] Yeah, they definitely looked all like they were like fucking school teachers.

[208] Like they were just a newspaper reporters or something or like a librarian.

[209] No. They didn't look like these yoked monsters.

[210] You see the one that's knocking on the window of the person's house?

[211] Like, I want to come in.

[212] Have you seen that video yet?

[213] I would have let him in.

[214] It's jacked.

[215] Knocking on the door?

[216] Look at them.

[217] Come on, yeah.

[218] Look how big that thing is.

[219] That's insane.

[220] That one up there is big.

[221] Yeah, look at that.

[222] Right there.

[223] Right there.

[224] What and the fuck is that?

[225] That's fake.

[226] No, I'm kidding.

[227] I've seen it live.

[228] But it's not fake.

[229] So what the hell's going on?

[230] Do you think they have that extra muscle thing, like you said?

[231] They're taking dick pills because there's steroids and dick pills.

[232] What a fucking bizarre animal that is.

[233] That is amazing.

[234] A bouncy mammal that will kick you and try to hurt you and fuck you up.

[235] But they're so nice.

[236] No, no, no, no, no, no. No, they're not always nice.

[237] Yeah, so you would sit there and feed the big guy.

[238] I took pictures of his balls.

[239] He let me. You got to be really careful.

[240] around them.

[241] I'm serious.

[242] Is that a real pose?

[243] Yes.

[244] They say, though, that if you find them in the wild, you are not supposed to ever approach them.

[245] Is he beating off?

[246] Is that kangaroo beating off?

[247] No. We saw two having sex.

[248] Whoa.

[249] The video, though, that it kind of went around last week, is a kangaroo is seeing its reflection in somebody's window, and it's trying to fight it.

[250] But the guys on the other side with the camera, it's just this jacked, like kangaroo, like punching the window like like it's scary oh my god is there a video oh yeah it's one of the coolest video it came out last week if you just type in a kangaroo window fistfighting himself in a window fuckers man shadow boxing a window that's a weird animal I love them I think they're great but it's so weird what it does like the way it acts that sits on its tail and it's bouncing around these legs and then it's got those jacked upper body they were there was like uh they get spooked easy too like this one big one was trying to have sex.

[251] I'm going to say it wasn't sex.

[252] It was definitely rape.

[253] But it was like he was pulling her back and she was trying to get away.

[254] But there was this, the reason she was trying to get away is because there was like a weird wind come.

[255] Then when it came, they all scattered.

[256] Then they went under the tree and then they got into it.

[257] And I was like, oh, maybe she just wanted some privacy or it was really interesting how they had to sneak out.

[258] But she was scared and then as soon as this weird thing came, it was like a wind, they all went scattered and then they got back into it.

[259] It was exciting.

[260] I like kangaroo.

[261] Yeah, this is it.

[262] This is so scary.

[263] So it's knock on the door.

[264] That one's not too jacked.

[265] Boy, boy, it's creepy, though.

[266] Yeah, but look at it.

[267] Look at his claws.

[268] Oh, my God.

[269] Watch this.

[270] And he says it's getting pissed.

[271] Don't you scratch my window.

[272] Don't you scratch my window.

[273] This is not the right video, or maybe.

[274] I guess it is.

[275] Yeah, because it's a mirror.

[276] Ew.

[277] Oh, my God.

[278] He's throwing himself at the window.

[279] Fuck, man. He's trying to chest bump himself.

[280] He's trying to fight what he sees as a reflection in the window.

[281] Whoa.

[282] Can you imagine having a gnat at your house?

[283] Dude, that is a creepy animal.

[284] Now, they're beautiful, but they don't eat meat, right?

[285] Those are herbivores.

[286] Aren't they?

[287] You got me. They let us feed him some weird shit.

[288] What was it like?

[289] He's getting his protein.

[290] Vegetables?

[291] Yeah, right?

[292] It smelled terrible, and it was a little.

[293] Like, look like little pills.

[294] Well, you know, gorillas don't eat meat.

[295] Really?

[296] Yeah, they eat just grasses.

[297] Yeah, they're 100 % vegetarian.

[298] It's why they're so gentle.

[299] Kangries are herbivores.

[300] They eat grasses, flowers, leaves, ferns, moss, and even insects.

[301] Like cows, kangaroos regurgitate their food and re -chew it before it's ready to be totally digested.

[302] Juvenile kangaroo reviews the outside world from the pouch of an adult female.

[303] All right.

[304] Now they've seen a little.

[305] Eddie Ift got He got fucking chased by one In Australia He told the story of Really?

[306] He thought it was fake Because it was so big Because it was like a fucking Seven -foot kangaroo He thought it was fake And he got out of the car And he was with a bunch of Australians And he starts walking towards it And his friend go Mate Stop And his friend stopped him And he's like Get back in the fucking car And you know Is that bad Australian accent?

[307] Pretty bad right?

[308] Get into the car.

[309] He's back in the car, mate.

[310] So the dude ran back, Eddie ran back to the car, and apparently this fucking kangaroo was going to go after him.

[311] Like this giant kangaroo is like, if you go too close to them, if they think you're a threat, and they'd probably been fucked with by people.

[312] Unless they were in a, like, captivity, like where I went to see them.

[313] Is this chasing a golf court?

[314] Yeah, it's chasing after golfers on a golf course.

[315] Jurassic Park.

[316] Yeah, I would never do that.

[317] That's frightening to me. If that thing ate meat, we'd be fucksville.

[318] Can you imagine if there was like a bunch of them And they ate meat They were predators bouncing We'd kill them We'd have to kill them right But they still want to fight you Is that why they chase you?

[319] Like they just are like Oh I feel like fighting tonight UFC kangaroos Now that Why don't they eat Is that they're just their preference Like do they ever cross the line And go you know what I'm just going to eat this This bird right now Because I'm hungry They have to cross it They have to cross it Well kangaroos I don't know if they eat birds But cows do Cows eat birds They find them Yeah If they find them on the ground They eat nesting birds.

[320] They eat birds that fall out of nests that fall on the ground.

[321] My brother's dog had a dead bird in his mouth when we were home a couple weeks ago.

[322] See, that's normal, though, right?

[323] With dogs, like I was at these people's house in Montana, and they had this cat.

[324] This fucking cat had a graveyard in front of his house.

[325] Oh, yeah.

[326] They bring...

[327] They're monsters.

[328] This cat had brought in, like, two or three birds, like that day.

[329] There was dead birds, and there was little tiny sparrows and shit.

[330] There's two barnyard cats.

[331] They're just wandering around jacking things.

[332] Are you a cat guy or a dog?

[333] I love cats.

[334] I love dogs.

[335] I love dogs.

[336] too though I love yeah that's right but I love them all I don't know if I could do cats they're too sneaky yeah they're just getting by see this is one oh oh oh this cows eating a fucking bird man yeah it chases after them too man it's not just simply that it ate it by accident there's one of them where these other birds are dive bombing on his head on her head I should say it's a girl oh okay and uh as they're dive bombing on her head she's just slowly but surely like chasing after this little bird that fell on the ground and then she It winds up jacking it in front of its, you know.

[337] Whole family, like, enjoy that.

[338] That's what they do to me. You know, bulls only eat grass, too.

[339] And bulls, like a bull, but bulls are super fucking crazy aggressive.

[340] They've got to put some shit on the grass, do you think?

[341] No, they've always been crazy.

[342] That's why people would ride bulls, because you'd have to be an asshole.

[343] Somebody just died.

[344] Some famous bull rider, or bull guy just died.

[345] You've seen the new things where they put the big, the, the way, the balls around them and they run around and let bulls like, what the fuck dude?

[346] Well, the Matathors don't ride them, right?

[347] They just taunt him.

[348] No, no, no, no. He's talking about something totally different.

[349] There's a new, there's something that people are doing now.

[350] I don't have you seen it?

[351] They get into like a ball.

[352] You climb into a ball and you like bounce into each other and you can sort of run and collide into each other.

[353] It's awesome.

[354] Have you done it?

[355] No, no, no. But they're doing it with bulls.

[356] Okay, that's a little stupid.

[357] See how crazy it is?

[358] Yeah.

[359] Because can't they poke a hole in it?

[360] No. No, I can't.

[361] I guess they can't.

[362] They have have, like, the kind of horns that have been, that poking part is, uh, you know, you put those rubber tips on the end of them.

[363] You got to put like a little, uh, little super ball at the end of each one.

[364] That's a little tennis ball on it.

[365] Fuck, man. No, because we, they have, um, what's that place with the trampolines?

[366] Yeah, let's see, these people, they get these balls on.

[367] Yeah, that to me seems like you're going to blow your fucking ACL out.

[368] That bull's going to clip you low.

[369] You can't.

[370] You can't.

[371] It's still hit you in the dick.

[372] Oh, my God.

[373] These people are crazy.

[374] These people are crazy.

[375] What is happening here?

[376] Oh, my God, I can't believe they're going to do this.

[377] Okay.

[378] So they're standing out here.

[379] I got to see these comments.

[380] And they all have these balls on, and then they just release the bull, and it's just running around, kicking.

[381] Is there more than one bowl?

[382] Oh, Jesus.

[383] Boom.

[384] He collides in a lot.

[385] Oh, fuck that, dude.

[386] Oh, my God.

[387] You can get trampled.

[388] Forget the, yeah.

[389] This is crazy.

[390] This is a terrible idea.

[391] Look at that guy.

[392] He's like, oh, my God.

[393] He's running away.

[394] I mean, he's still running, which is amazing.

[395] Well, he's lucky.

[396] He's alive.

[397] Yeah.

[398] He's certainly lucky that he had gored through the asshole.

[399] That bull could easily, like, for what people listening, this ball is small.

[400] It's from the waist up.

[401] His entire legs are exposed.

[402] They should have had it so you're in the ball completely.

[403] Oh, my God.

[404] Oh, he got hit in the midsection.

[405] Oh, my God.

[406] Oh, my God.

[407] This is terrible.

[408] Oh, my God.

[409] The horns are out.

[410] The horns are out.

[411] See, it got deflated a little.

[412] Oh, my God.

[413] It did get deflated.

[414] Oh, for sure.

[415] It got deflated.

[416] Jesus.

[417] It got bent, too.

[418] And I think the guy's dead.

[419] He's not moving.

[420] Oh, yeah.

[421] Those are hard to get in and out of.

[422] They are hard to get in and out of.

[423] Yeah, they're like, Signor.

[424] I'm serious.

[425] It's time to go.

[426] Signor, you've got to wake up.

[427] As soon as he gets up, the bull comes back.

[428] He took the fucking, he took the thing off.

[429] He doesn't even have it on.

[430] Yeah.

[431] And the bull's out there.

[432] Oh, fuck.

[433] Yeah, I would.

[434] You can play that game in that little trampoline thing.

[435] That's the only place to do it.

[436] What the fuck is it that we love this?

[437] like part of us like here honestly watching people get hurt we're watching something fucking ridiculous we're watching it from the point of like we're like oh man this is crazy i can't believe they do this like what look at a midair oh shit come on what is this like why are we so attracted to this okay it is weird that we're attracted to it but think of a guy midair with his leg spread eagle and he's about to land on a bull do you know what's going through his hips.

[438] We're watching.

[439] He's a little slower than we are.

[440] Don't you think?

[441] Yeah.

[442] Well, he probably felt like if it's a thing, it's okay.

[443] I could do this.

[444] Yeah.

[445] Well, people feel like if it's a thing, you know what I'm saying?

[446] Like, if there's a thing that people do, and you're like, oh, other people do it.

[447] I could do it.

[448] It's a thing.

[449] You know, he's going to the place.

[450] He put the fucking, he might be the first group.

[451] He might be one of the first tasters.

[452] Yeah, what if they were like, oh, we're testing something out?

[453] Can you come test the out for us?

[454] Would you be our guinea pig?

[455] Would you do it?

[456] Fuck that.

[457] No. I mean, which is ironic because I hosted Fear Factor.

[458] But no, I wouldn't.

[459] I wouldn't want to have anything to do with anything.

[460] That's crazy.

[461] It needs to be bigger.

[462] It needs to be where you're inside the ball and it needs to be like a stronger material and then it would be okay.

[463] I mean, it's pretty strong material but still, there's bullhorns coming at you.

[464] Here's the problem with that.

[465] Here's how I see it.

[466] People, I think, vastly overestimate their ability to move their body.

[467] vastly and they think when that bull's going I'll just fucking go with it and I'll just fucking you know it's not going to be like it hits you I'll fake them out okay I'm in the backfield yeah that bull comes on you so fast yeah that's a bad quote right there I got a little excited I don't know about anybody else I'm thinking I'm going to get in this bull fight when you see that bull launch that dude into the air you I guarantee you that guy at that moment when he was flying was like oh no I fucked up oh yeah yeah this is not what I felt like this is way this was not in the brochure you can't control this thing you can't control this I would die that guy probably didn't think before or after or during he's probably just a dumbass he's probably one of those I don't give a fuck dudes hey man I don't give a fuck I'm crazy I tell you what I'll do I'll climb inside that thing with that bull hit me I don't give a fuck you can shoot an apple off my head dude I ain't scared to die My granddaddy was an Indian 100 % Apache bro I got that warrior blood I don't give a fuck I'm afraid of this What I gotta do What I gotta do shit I'll be the first in line First in line You see their brain slipping out of their skull Bad knees fucked up Farmers back I don't give a fuck It's in there If it was a fear factor thing I would do it Just for the money I would only do the stunts I couldn't do the food I mean I could barely You could have got lucky.

[468] You could have got lucky.

[469] Some people got, there was, it was no parody, like, as far as, like, how difficult things were.

[470] On some shows, there were, I mean, it was always totally random what you got, what you had to eat.

[471] But some of it was easy.

[472] Like, roaches are easy.

[473] No, no. I'm telling you, roaches, they don't, they barely taste like anything.

[474] Dude, I don't eat mayonnaise.

[475] Like, I'm the worst.

[476] You know what I mean?

[477] I can't.

[478] I'm, like, so picky.

[479] There's a jiz joke in there somewhere.

[480] I'm just thinking of that bowl.

[481] It comes on you And boom It's like mayonnaise Here we are, full circle I'm telling you But it's all in your head Because if you eat crabs You're eating the same thing They're like a crab Oh You don't need seafood at all Oh, that's what I'm saying I'm the worst Like fear factor to me Is anything Like I eat Swedish fish Yeah but if you really needed The money And you were there And you looked at the other people You're with And you're like I'm not gonna let these Pussies beat me I'm very competitive Yeah I'm a little competitive but not, I don't know if I could be that competitive, like, letting everybody see me shit my pants right there, because it would probably go right through me. That's what I'm afraid of.

[482] Like, I would throw up or something awful.

[483] Do you think you have an allergy to weird foods, or is it just, you're just...

[484] No, I think I'm just a little retarded.

[485] Oh, I know, I'm not allowed to say that word.

[486] Sorry.

[487] Anyway, here, this is a retard free zone.

[488] I got yelled at on Facebook for that.

[489] I let people do that.

[490] People are angry.

[491] Let's just go outside.

[492] Like, literally sent me a list of words.

[493] words to say other than that how crazy is that how about no so whatever so now i just make fine language police they're out there and they're gonna pull you over and give you a ticket and they feel really good about it i don't like what you're saying i don't like how you're saying it the language intent is not as critical as the actual words that come out of your mouth sweetie the language police i will punch in the face that kind you'll hit them physically language police not a regular police i don't do that i'm not crazy you're pro cop but i'm just i'm not i'm pro everybody i think everybody should learn to behave but if a language that they're misbehaving to me the language police so they get punched in the face well maybe i am a little violent and i apologize very violent that's philly punch i do love to punch you're always punching people you're like one of those you walk behind he'll punch people in the arm look you grow up in my house it's an insane asylum there was 10 of us in a row home so i've six brothers I woke up every day to a punch in the face, you know, or other stuff, whatever.

[494] Dick to the Faye.

[495] That's a lot of tolerance.

[496] You grew up with, like, a lot of tolerance for bullshit.

[497] Yeah, so your patience, your thin, you know, I mean, your skin gets thin, I can't talk.

[498] Thick, thick -skinned.

[499] Yeah.

[500] Well, if you have, like, I have one niece that was a little thin -skinned, and then my brother's just beat that out of her, poor thing.

[501] She didn't know what she was getting into.

[502] We were like, oh, are you sensitive?

[503] Come over here for a second.

[504] And then now she's cool.

[505] Now, you know, now she's like, oh, I get it.

[506] Oh, okay.

[507] But it's stupid to be sensitive.

[508] Well, how much could your parents even control you?

[509] There's so many of you.

[510] Especially because my parents split up.

[511] So when I was like eight, they split up.

[512] So it was like, oh, shit, it's on now.

[513] Like, they can't catch me now.

[514] But that wasn't true because my dad's a Marine.

[515] And he only moved like five blocks away.

[516] And he knew every cop in the neighborhood.

[517] So if I did anything.

[518] He knew the next day.

[519] Or he'd see me, he'd be out and see me. And I'd be like, oh, shit.

[520] But I was afraid of my dad.

[521] Like, are you guys?

[522] I'm still afraid of my dad.

[523] He's 80.

[524] Every once in a while, I'll be like, hey, dad, you know, you shouldn't do that, you know, but I still back down.

[525] He's crazy.

[526] Like, even today, you couldn't get upset at him and talk to him, like, person to person.

[527] Hell no. I had a fight with my, I talked to him.

[528] I call him because I use him for material.

[529] You know, he just gives gems, you know what I mean?

[530] and like now he lives in Rahobah Beach, he's retired.

[531] What's that?

[532] It's in Delaware, and it's a predominantly gay area.

[533] Hollow.

[534] My dad's a Marine, like, covered in tattoos.

[535] He still wears his dog tags.

[536] That's what they like to jerk off to.

[537] Yes.

[538] He did not know that.

[539] Oh, no. Now he, like, knows that.

[540] And he also refers to lesbians as girl fagots.

[541] I'm like, that's not what they are.

[542] And then I'm like, they're lesbians, and he's like, I don't care where they're from.

[543] I'm like, that's not.

[544] The UFC has an openly gay women's band and weight champion.

[545] Oh my God.

[546] That's awesome.

[547] Yeah.

[548] She's a beast, too.

[549] I would say the UFC, one thing I love about him is that the women are just as good.

[550] Amanda Nunes is badass.

[551] She's the new champ.

[552] She knocked out Misha Tate.

[553] She stopped during the first round.

[554] It was flawless.

[555] I only saw the highlights, but great fight.

[556] She's awesome.

[557] She's awesome.

[558] She's so fast.

[559] She's like lightning fast.

[560] Her hands are so explosive.

[561] She's so hard to get to.

[562] She's one of those girls that she's like a, sprinter and like in the third and fourth and fifth round that's when she's going to have a hard time because she blows out so much but she takes people out like she's very very good like from standing and on the ground as well her jiu jitzy's really good but she's so explosive the only worry or concern that people have is that i wonder if she can sustain that level but to fight like that's with anybody though isn't she's incredible but i mean it's really it's really interesting because she has had fights where she kind of faded in the past but but you've got to get through that storm that she brings and it's just so she's so explosive like i it's between her and i mean i don't there's i don't think anybody moves quite as fast as her or or hits quite as hard as her in that division like there might be girls like holly home they might be like a little bit more skillful as a striker or much more experience as a striker but very few people hit with the kind of pop that she's got it's something to watch yeah holly home is great too she's awesome just watching her And Ron is my favorite from the Git.

[563] Like, I wish they had that when I was a kid.

[564] I think we talked about that before.

[565] Like, I definitely would have gotten into that as a kid.

[566] I know you would have.

[567] Easily, because I wouldn't have gotten arrested as much.

[568] So it's, like, easier that way.

[569] If there's another woman's Bannonweight that doesn't get enough credit.

[570] Raquel Pennington.

[571] Oh.

[572] You ever seen her fight?

[573] She's good?

[574] No, I'm trying to scam my brain to know.

[575] She's a beast.

[576] Probably if I see her face, I'm like, oh, I saw this.

[577] Ferocious.

[578] Yeah.

[579] Very, very skillful.

[580] She's like, on the outside.

[581] side of the very top she but she's uh she's beating some really tough people i watch and i get jealous i'm like i want to get in that's her holly home her fought in holly holmes uh ufc debut and uh it was a split decision yeah really close fight she's she's very good and better now than excuse me better now than she was and that she wears a shirt that says rocky killer she's totally bad she's got this one submission victory um where uh she catches this um she catches this this girl Ashley Evan Smith in a bulldog choke and chokes her unconscious with like one second to go in the first round she lets go over her neck and she's out cold in this puddle of the blood it was it was one of those what you're doing commentary you're like wow it was a screamer it's so ridiculous but um women's uh banam weight division is filled with fucking killers now there's so many good fighters it's like they're trading titles and they're the main events which i love I love that.

[582] That's a big, big deal.

[583] Women's sports, you know, they don't...

[584] Well, it's definitely a big deal for the biggest pay -per -view ever.

[585] I mean, obviously, it wasn't going to be if John Jones didn't test positive for something.

[586] Right.

[587] I get it.

[588] But because he did...

[589] It switched around.

[590] Yeah.

[591] So...

[592] Is he admitting to it yet?

[593] Is he saying what he did?

[594] No, no, he's not saying anything.

[595] Chale P. Sun and leaked the information during my last podcast.

[596] So it's out.

[597] I was going to say...

[598] Chale has leaked out information.

[599] It could be...

[600] Is it what he said to me out there?

[601] I had no nothing.

[602] I didn't hear anything.

[603] I didn't even hear nothing.

[604] I don't know what I'm talking about.

[605] Honestly, I'm in a weird position because I don't think you're supposed to, I don't think he's supposed to anybody's supposed to be talking about the medical results until, like, it gets released.

[606] I don't know how it works.

[607] I really don't.

[608] I'm, I want to plead ignorance all day.

[609] It's my middle name, I think.

[610] He probably took boner pills because they have all that shit in them, you know?

[611] Like, they have, boner pills have steroids in them.

[612] Why don't you have a boner pill in your hand?

[613] It's happening right now.

[614] I just found Joe's gas station over here.

[615] It has like the best, I've never seen these rhinoceros.

[616] Brian is known for his love of the boner pill.

[617] He is what you would call a boner pill connoisseur.

[618] He's actually read blogs about boner pills and directed me to reviews of boner pills.

[619] I'm like terrified.

[620] But they, I mean, these things have steroids in them.

[621] They have a bunch stuff.

[622] And if you party, wasn't the last thing he got busted for cocaine or something?

[623] If you busts, if you do cocaine, a lot of guys take these because you can get hard off of having cocaine.

[624] And so if he takes boner pills, then he's going to be tested for a little too much speculation for a person who I deeply respect.

[625] And I'm going to have to step out of this conversation.

[626] Are you going to take the boner pill now?

[627] I can neither confirm nor deny.

[628] Can I switch seats?

[629] It's not like he turns into a werewolf.

[630] It'd be hilarious if he just starts chasing us around the row.

[631] He just lays his dick out on the table.

[632] Oh, my God, what would happen?

[633] That one has a whole inch clitoris.

[634] I don't need this.

[635] That one has a hologram of a rhino.

[636] and you turn it and turns into a butt, a woman's butt.

[637] Oh, interesting.

[638] Now, um...

[639] And this is at the gas station?

[640] How do you know what are the good ones and what are the bad ones?

[641] Like, how do you know what to take?

[642] I've come to the conclusion that if it has a rhinoceros on it, it works.

[643] And the great thing, if you're lucky lived in New York City, New York City has these bodegas everywhere.

[644] They all have them, and they have older product, which is usually stronger because...

[645] Oh, yes.

[646] Because people die.

[647] They haven't gotten in there.

[648] Because people have died from them or...

[649] Jesus.

[650] Like you're going to have a giant heart.

[651] I'm cock, but not...

[652] Okay, we keep talking about this, but we need to fucking run a test and find out what...

[653] No, I'm not going to take it, but what I'm thinking about doing is taking it to a laboratory and find out what's in it.

[654] But I don't want the fucking Chinese triad to be after me, like some shitty Mickey Rook movie.

[655] Not, I shouldn't even say shitty.

[656] The good one.

[657] You're the Dragon?

[658] That was a great movie.

[659] It wasn't shitty.

[660] I was trying, I was going for comic effect.

[661] I had to check myself in reality.

[662] There you go.

[663] But I just, I mean, I don't...

[664] Listen, I'm pro - Rhino.

[665] You want to see all these things?

[666] Good.

[667] Hope they work.

[668] They're great.

[669] Just don't take the black cat ones or any of the cat ones because those ones actually made me see visuals and stuff.

[670] Are you serious?

[671] It's so loose and a general.

[672] I think it's like blood pressure or something maybe.

[673] It's all fucked up.

[674] So don't take those because that fucks with your blood pressure.

[675] Pretty hardcore.

[676] Yeah, don't take risks.

[677] If he tells you don't take it, don't take it.

[678] Don't take it.

[679] I don't care.

[680] I don't care where you think your tolerance is lie.

[681] If you think you have.

[682] have the same tolerance as red band you're you're incorrect yeah he's got you but did they get you high like they make you kind of rage well the ones that have the steroids in them which i've found i think most of them have steroids in which you could tell the difference which those because you immediately want to fuck like you're not only getting hard you're like i need to get late right now well didn't that's like molly i know you directed me to a website fda .gov but one of them that was explaining all the different ingredients that were in these things that a guy broke it down and what they do to you.

[683] Oh, yeah.

[684] There's a few of those, but unfortunately, that guy doesn't, he's only talking about what's on the back, like what they're saying that's in it.

[685] Oh, he didn't test it?

[686] I thought he tested it.

[687] Let's see if anybody's ever actually tested what is in boner pills.

[688] FDAS.

[689] They, they, they, they tested the water.

[690] FDA tells you everything that's in all of them.

[691] You could even look up rhino and you see some older ones on there, and they're usually steroids and it's usually Viagra, generic Viagra.

[692] Oh, okay.

[693] So the FDA has a list of what, they called them, right?

[694] The names, but what's to stop you from just starting to sell something called Rhino 10?

[695] Like, this is Rhino 7.

[696] Like, you don't have, I bet they don't own Rhino.

[697] No. The same company actually has, like, the rhino brand, the one that you're holding right now, has, I've got all the way up to Rino 69.

[698] And I've have about 20 different rhinos.

[699] So they just change the number every time they get in trouble to a different one.

[700] Look at this.

[701] Public notification, My Steel Woody contains.

[702] contains hidden drug ingredient.

[703] The Food and Drug Administration is vising consumers not to purchase or use My Steel Woody, a product promoted and sold for sexual enhancement on various websites, including blah, blah, blah, and possibly some retail stores.

[704] The FDA Laboratory Analysis confirmed that My Steel Woody contains seledephal.

[705] Oh, that's Viagra.

[706] Yeah.

[707] It says it's the, how do you say that word?

[708] Cildenophil Cyldenafil Is that it?

[709] I'm just going to trust you on that.

[710] It's the active ingredient in Viagra, so the main ingredient in there.

[711] Used to treat erectile dysfunction.

[712] The undeclared ingredient may interact with nitrates found in some prescription drugs such as, like, oh yeah.

[713] So that's like for people who have heart issues when they take like blood pressure medication, if they're taking Viagra at the same time, they could fucking croak.

[714] Or if you have diabetes, don't take it because these things will fuck you up.

[715] So these my steel woody guys so if you don't know.

[716] Fuckers, oh my God, hold up, scroll all the way up, go back to the top.

[717] Hold on a second.

[718] Holy shit.

[719] The public notifications of how many drugs contained or how many of these supplements contain drugs.

[720] This is insane.

[721] So public notification.

[722] Rino 7.

[723] Hold on a second.

[724] Sextra contains hidden drug ingredients.

[725] Neofase natural sex enhancer contains a hidden drug ingredient.

[726] There's like a list over and over and over and over.

[727] There's so many of them.

[728] Rhino 7.

[729] there's rhino seven scroll back up rhino seven blue 9000 look there's rhino seven blue uh 9000 this i don't know it's they just changed the number 50 200 oh look it's right there what's the batch what's the new name no headache oh john jones has a headache rino 50s oh brian you're so rude jeez i can't believe you you're so i would have john jones if he did take these if he could sue rhino say bullshit i got a headache from it you no headache.

[730] Yeah.

[731] Right.

[732] That's true.

[733] I mean, the word is bond, right?

[734] Millions of dollars.

[735] If it's written on the front of the package.

[736] Isn't word is bond?

[737] Yes.

[738] I mean, that holds true.

[739] This is, wow.

[740] I don't know.

[741] Who knows?

[742] This is crazy.

[743] I can't believe.

[744] I just don't understand if someone was going to take something like that.

[745] Why wouldn't you take, well, why wouldn't you just take Viagra if you knew what's in Viagra?

[746] Like, if you're going to get Viagra, you're going to get it.

[747] Do you have to get a prescription for that?

[748] I'll tell you what, man. Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

[749] I mean, you can get it on the street, you can get anything on the street, but I mean...

[750] At shows now, a lot of guys give me Viagra, that's like, hey, Brian, instead of giving me weed, they'll just give me, I got you some Viagra.

[751] But I try it now.

[752] What's happening to you?

[753] It's not even close to the...

[754] It's not even close, though.

[755] Like, this little store -bought Rhino -7, way better than a Viagra or any of the Cialises or anything.

[756] So it's what you think is probably like steroids and maybe like amphetamines or something?

[757] It swell.

[758] It swells up.

[759] He's holding his He's holding his dick Like one of them salamis And he's in Italian stores I'm like wow Did you get bit by something?

[760] I could sell it to Uncle Steve Yeah Will you take one of these Will you take one of these home And take one of these?

[761] Yeah that doesn't seem like a good idea Why would you want to take?

[762] I don't know what the fuck is in those things dude I'm not into taking something Some mystery drug From you just saw the list of everything They made that shit on an island somewhere In the South Pacific They have slaves Churting those out I mean who know is what the difference is batch to batch there's no like quality control like this is the wild which batch are you talking about you're putting shit in your body you are you really good at like everything you put in your body you know what it is and what goes into as much as you can but if you eat at restaurants i can't really know no you're right i'm the worst i'm do you eat everything no i don't eat anything but i eat shitty i mean like eat whatever you want like i say everything i know you don't eat seafood at all right yes no i don't like seafood but you you eat like a monster.

[763] But you have a great metabolism.

[764] You've always had a crazy metabolism.

[765] True, but I like candy.

[766] Like I eat Swedish fish and think, oh, I had fish for dinner.

[767] You know what I mean?

[768] Like, I love candy, stuff like that.

[769] You okay?

[770] Cake cookies.

[771] Well, I took a boner pill.

[772] You feel like you had fish for it.

[773] If you did take one of those, I wonder, that's what we should be on there.

[774] I'll tell you what happens.

[775] Oh, put it in me?

[776] Yeah.

[777] Shit.

[778] Wait a minute.

[779] That came out wrong.

[780] So somebody gave me a Viagra or a Seattle.

[781] It's just the blue one.

[782] I think that's a Viagra.

[783] Right.

[784] And I didn't know what to take it.

[785] So I put it in my Xantax container, Xantac.

[786] It's for heartburn.

[787] Oh, yeah.

[788] Zanx?

[789] No, Zantak.

[790] Zantac.

[791] I was like, oh, you know, I don't want to fly with this pill in my pocket.

[792] So I'm just put in my Xantac.

[793] For God, I did that.

[794] My girlfriend took it by mistake thinking it was a Zantak.

[795] And she said that she did, she felt weird.

[796] Like it felt tingly and stuff like that.

[797] But it didn't do anything.

[798] Does it look like a Zantek?

[799] It looks like a Zantek.

[800] Imagine if she went to work.

[801] You got pot for steroids You know If she had a job at UPS or something like that And ma 'am, we're gonna have to get your urine stamp But well, this is, you're wasting your time here I didn't even smoke pot Your pants are swelling up Whoa They get it back Your employees on fucking hardcore steroids This bitch is tweaking That's terrible Yeah, she had a horse's foot I mean it was just A horse's foot She said it was kind of tingly And get it?

[802] Not a moose knuckle But a horse's foot I get it really It got bigger It was going like this Moose knuckle is a weird That's a good one That is a silly That's a funny thing to say Yeah You know it's like if you don't If you don't think that moose knuckle is funny It's because you're avoiding humor I agree You're avoiding opportunities to live And not a good person at heart You really aren't You should check yourself all the way through Out of all the animals Poor moose I mean how many people actually see a moose knuckle And go I know what that looks like We had to have photos before it became a moose knuckle because it's not like that many people see a moose.

[803] I just think, you know, there it is.

[804] Oh, that's a moose knuckle.

[805] Oh, that's a total moose knuckle.

[806] That's a guy.

[807] That is a guy only on paper.

[808] Only on paper.

[809] You're right.

[810] But think about it, like before.

[811] Trouble using the restroom.

[812] Like, I bet they would never call it moose knuckle in the 1800s because they didn't have any pictures.

[813] They had to see a moose.

[814] You had to see a photo of a moose.

[815] Women weren't allowed to wear a pants on things.

[816] That's true.

[817] that too but like for the longest time so that's that's like an expression that we can prove like did not exist before that because if you like lived in new york in like 1830 and you said oh so your moose knuckle they'd be like what the fuck does a moose knuckle look like he's from the future they don't even know what they don't have a photo what would they look at a drawing what they used to call it like a slave foot or or maybe you could just see a moose walking around because they weren't held up back then yeah but i don't think there were that many that you would see them if you lived in like a city Like, if you lived in Maine, you're like, oh, you're just walking through.

[818] They didn't have it back there.

[819] But how many moose, though?

[820] See, it's like, it's not native to that much.

[821] It doesn't have a large range in North America.

[822] It's got like the northern states.

[823] Colorado, Maine has moose.

[824] Maine, I remember seeing a sign watch out for the moose because they walk out.

[825] They're real tall or something.

[826] Your car could hit them or something.

[827] I was terrified.

[828] It was this creepiest, longest drive I've ever done.

[829] Well, they're scary because you die when you hit one of those.

[830] Those things kill people.

[831] But then deer, too.

[832] Deer just dart out now anywhere.

[833] Deer kill 200 people a year in car accidents in just the United States.

[834] Yeah, there was a ton I saw in Jersey just a couple weeks ago.

[835] Oh, yeah.

[836] Jersey's infested.

[837] I didn't see deer.

[838] I just saw the signs.

[839] But there was more than I've ever seen.

[840] Yeah, they're everywhere.

[841] Everybody was talking about hitting deers.

[842] And I'm like, what?

[843] And people like, it's because our predators, you've gotten rid of all the predators.

[844] oh yeah well let's just let some fucking hyenas and mountain lines loose yeah take out all the deer like then you got hyenas and mountain lines around your kids you fucking whackadoo people are crazy they're crazy I mean I love crazy but at the same time they're going a little too far with the crazy these days don't you think like as a comedian like you are we need them no I mean it's funny it's fun sometimes because it's something to push back again yeah Because some of them are just so ridiculous.

[845] It's so regressive.

[846] It's crazy.

[847] Trying to control people.

[848] You're not like an openly tolerant person as someone who wants to communicate the difference between their ideas and your ideas.

[849] Yeah.

[850] That's not what's going on.

[851] And I mean like I joke about my dad, he's the most un -PC person there is.

[852] I mean, I know there's a lot, but he's at the top, I think.

[853] He's pretty bad.

[854] There's guys from that generation.

[855] Yeah, but my nieces and nephews, the young one, they yell on him, pop, pop, you can't talk like that.

[856] You know, pop up, you can't say that.

[857] I was like, what the hell is this kid talking?

[858] You know, my dad has, like, weapons everywhere.

[859] He's crazy.

[860] It's like insane.

[861] Like, people are like, oh, my God, like gun violence.

[862] I literally went home.

[863] I was working on the East Coast, right?

[864] And I went to a funeral.

[865] My dad's brother, my uncle Tom, his girlfriend died, 88 years old.

[866] He's still what I'm saying is taking rhino pills, obviously.

[867] So whatever, so there was a funeral, and then we went to his house, and he's this tough, tough man, like a real man, like he built bridges.

[868] That's what he did was his life.

[869] You know, he was a Marine for years, and he stood up to, like, look out the window, and his belt buckle was dangling, and it said NRA.

[870] And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.

[871] I forgot where I was from for a minute.

[872] Like, these are the people that I grew up around.

[873] Like, I didn't, it never phased me that, but we were always taught, like, you know, you don't touch that.

[874] You don't do this.

[875] but my dad had grenades in the typewriter store.

[876] I don't know what we need these for, Dad, but like if somebody, are you seeing things that we're not?

[877] What is happening in here?

[878] But he was like that.

[879] I mean, my brothers, of course, we would get into it.

[880] You know how classic that description is, my dad had grenades at his typewriter store.

[881] My God, you're dealing with madness.

[882] Full -blown madness.

[883] First of all, any dude would a typewriter store should be watched.

[884] All day.

[885] You know, and any guy, ladies, please do me a favor.

[886] If you go over a guy's house and he says that he's a poet and he's got a typewriter, run.

[887] Just get out of there.

[888] Run or call me, I can fix the typewriter.

[889] Especially if it's one of those old -schooly typewriters.

[890] If that guy writes all his stuff and then an old -schooly.

[891] That's called manual.

[892] Please don't fuck that guy, girls.

[893] Just make him change.

[894] I called my dad three days ago.

[895] And I said, what are you doing?

[896] He said fixing a typewriter.

[897] I go, will you please stop this?

[898] Like I thought he was kidding, but here the neighbor still types letters out, and my dad, something broke, and my dad had to clean it up for him.

[899] And he goes, I had to re -sbowl the ribbon.

[900] And then I started having flashbacks.

[901] I'm like, why do I know how to re -spool ribbon?

[902] Why wasn't I educated properly in life?

[903] You know what I mean?

[904] Like, that's it.

[905] All I know is typewriters.

[906] I could fix your typewriter.

[907] I could do it.

[908] That thing is crazy to me. That laptop, I don't know what that is.

[909] Remember when you had to erase something, you had like the little white thing that you had to get in and instead of hitting to leave.

[910] We used to sell those, $1 .99.

[911] We used to have to paint over it and you back up.

[912] Yeah, go all the way back, mess it up.

[913] My dad types with one finger.

[914] I would have never learned how to type if it wasn't for video games.

[915] I learned how to type.

[916] I learned how to type 100 % so I could talk to people quicker.

[917] That's a good angle.

[918] When I was playing, like, Quake.

[919] That's how I learned how to type.

[920] 100%.

[921] Wow.

[922] That's a good angle for people like, well, you don't need typing now, but we had typing in high school, Because especially women, they're like, yeah, learn to type.

[923] You're not going to do anything else.

[924] Well, I used to write all my stuff out long hand until I started playing video games.

[925] And when I started video games, also when I started writing blogs.

[926] I didn't, because I started, like, working on figuring out how to type, and I got one of those Mavis Bacon things.

[927] You ever do that?

[928] It's like a game.

[929] I never got into video games out of all that.

[930] No, no, but Mavis Bacon teaches typing.

[931] Oh, I see.

[932] So it's a typing program, but it's a video game.

[933] And I still don't know it.

[934] And I grew up in a typeware store.

[935] Well, it's probably only for video games.

[936] videos or only for computers.

[937] But it's awesome.

[938] It's like really a great way to learn because the things show up and you're supposed to keep your hands in the position, the perfect position.

[939] Home keys.

[940] And then when the little things are moving across, it's like you have to try to keep up with what's being typed and you have to follow it underneath.

[941] Oh.

[942] And there's like games you play and I feel like I sound like a spokesperson.

[943] I like this.

[944] Yeah, you are.

[945] But that's how I learned to type.

[946] I learned to type doing that.

[947] Can you do it without looking?

[948] Like, are you that good?

[949] Oh, yeah.

[950] My mom's that person.

[951] But I don't do it totally correct.

[952] You know, I probably had a hurt finger when I learned, so I lift up one of them or something.

[953] I think I use like four on one side and three on the other side.

[954] Yeah, there's definitely like an odd.

[955] I remember they used to yell like in typing class.

[956] Like, do you use your pinkies?

[957] These bitches are not cooperative.

[958] Yeah, they don't work the way you think.

[959] No, they don't work that way.

[960] You're like, go, go.

[961] And it's not going.

[962] You're like, oh, fuck it.

[963] And you use the other finger.

[964] Yeah.

[965] My pinkies are.

[966] so uncooperative.

[967] It's like little toes.

[968] But these fingers, like, I got it, I got it, I got it.

[969] Just give it to me stupid.

[970] You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

[971] Come on, come on, come on, come on.

[972] And my pinky's like, I got it, bitch.

[973] Why are you being such an asshole?

[974] Like, look at the difference.

[975] I could fucking do it, dude.

[976] I can't do it, dude.

[977] I can't do it just a good.

[978] Listen, look at me. Look at me, you fuck.

[979] You can't do shit.

[980] Come on.

[981] You're stoned it off for everybody.

[982] Oh, my God.

[983] That's what it is.

[984] My dog, bro.

[985] Fuck you, man. I'm just as good as you, man. You're strong, man. It's all about your mind, bro.

[986] It's all about your mentality, and I'm willing I'll quit.

[987] You guys are retarded.

[988] Oh, I can't.

[989] It's all about your mentality.

[990] Your mentality is no good.

[991] I saw this dude once.

[992] He was on, um, wasn't that, was it not Sally, Jesse Raphael, one of those fucking shows.

[993] It might have been Jenny Jones.

[994] I don't remember which show it was.

[995] That's old school, right?

[996] But I never forget this dude, because there's this girl, and she's, like, dressing really trashy, and she's, like, disrespecting her mom.

[997] There's all this crazy shit going on.

[998] And this dude.

[999] gets up in the audience and you know do you have any anything you want to say to her you know they'd go to the audience yeah yeah people's response goes he goes if you had a good personality you could pull that off if you like had some pinaz he goes but your your personality sucks and that make you look nasty oh i love i never forget that dude your personality sucks and that made you look nasty and everybody was like oh shit it turned into death jam it was me and Candy Alexander when we were on news radio together we were in between takes and we're hanging out in one of the break rooms or whatever it was and we were watching one of those daytime shows this is pre -internet man there's no internet back then yeah that was like the perfect what they look for now on the internet is what we used to watch I mean the internet existed but you go to like AOL .com or something like that you never saw anything like that no yeah how long you think it's been since that all that's been coming up like what's i feel like i have no idea of the time frame of when this became the thing it's kind of snuck up on us right it keeps getting more and more embedded in everybody's alive harry sheffier and big jokerson did a fucking hilarious podcast where arie and big jay are on a roof in new york city okay and they're they're peeping tomming on this girl and this guy All right.

[1000] Sounds so awry.

[1001] Yeah.

[1002] And this girl and this guy, they keep about to get it on and they check their phones.

[1003] Shut up.

[1004] They're on top of each other, checking their phones on each other.

[1005] Like, she's riding him and she's checking her phone.

[1006] And he pauses in, like, grabbing her ass.

[1007] He pauses and grabs his phone.

[1008] That doesn't make sense.

[1009] Might be Pokemon.

[1010] I mean, yeah, right?

[1011] It could be a Pokemon.

[1012] I want to talk to you about Pokemon.

[1013] I want to know what it is.

[1014] But it does.

[1015] It does make sense.

[1016] Well, who would do that?

[1017] People are crazy.

[1018] They're sucked into phones.

[1019] Phones draw you in.

[1020] Were they looking for sexual positions on these phones?

[1021] No, no, no, no, no. They're checking their text messages.

[1022] Bullshit.

[1023] Yes, guaranteed.

[1024] Some people just can't help it.

[1025] Oh, I got another message.

[1026] What's my message?

[1027] Oh, I got another message.

[1028] If you were having sex?

[1029] Yes, they were about to have sex.

[1030] Some things trump other things.

[1031] Some people are crazy.

[1032] There are people that are flat out 100 % attached to that phone.

[1033] This is step one, Eleanor.

[1034] This is step one.

[1035] I've been with addicts.

[1036] They didn't stop.

[1037] This is different.

[1038] This is different.

[1039] The phone thing is different.

[1040] Because if you wanted to say that it's, you wanted to say that phones are a drug.

[1041] Okay.

[1042] It's an addiction.

[1043] Right?

[1044] If you wanted to, and you'd have to like sort out the consequences.

[1045] Like, what are the consequences of this drug?

[1046] We don't know about that.

[1047] I mean, the consequences of coffee are pretty mundane.

[1048] It's no big deal.

[1049] You know, you get fired up.

[1050] This might be the most addictive drug ever.

[1051] Like, if it was a drug.

[1052] It wasn't an object.

[1053] Right.

[1054] Like what is a, what drug do you walk down the street and you see everyone on?

[1055] Everyone holding their phone, looking at their phone.

[1056] No one looks up.

[1057] You're looking down streets, you might see 40, 50 % of the people holding a phone.

[1058] Yeah.

[1059] I mean, that is if, obviously, it's a device.

[1060] But let's just classify it as an obsession or as something that you're, a fixation, perhaps, something that is just over.

[1061] Overwhelmingly influential in the fact that you pay so much attention to it in your life This is more of a lover than anyone you've ever known This fucking thing is with you while you shit.

[1062] It's with you all the time It's a companion, but it doesn't trump sex like I'm sorry if you can't Depends on the girl Maybe I don't know what's gonna happen I know he's ready I don't see already feel it I get already done yeah His legs are open and he's toward me right now I started looking at her butt Well, you've probably been doing them for so long that you have pathways carved in your anatomy.

[1063] I'm terrified.

[1064] I'm feeling an imprint on my back.

[1065] The Pokemon game's taking it to the next level.

[1066] Where's the hell is it?

[1067] Explain what's going on.

[1068] The easiest way to say what Pokemon is, it takes Google Maps.

[1069] You have to sign into Google.

[1070] It takes Google Maps and all the information that's in Google Maps, and it makes it the level of a video game.

[1071] So instead of playing a level, you're playing your own street, you're finding creatures in your house.

[1072] and so yeah so then there's places like churches are called gyms that's where you go and if you go to a church you can like train your fighter to be stronger and stuff like that so you're using real world places and like landmarks and you're finding things at like water fountains like if you go to the water fountain there's a bunch of coins there so it's using the and what's crazy is like if you're at the comedy store on Google Maps you can like upload your own photos, you know?

[1073] Like, I was at the comedy store on Google Maps.

[1074] So it pulls that information also.

[1075] So if you're playing the game, you'll be like, oh, there's an Andy Kaufman sign.

[1076] If we go to the Andy Kaufman sign, we can get some treasures.

[1077] And it shows you the Andy Kaufman sign in the video game.

[1078] But here's the crazy thing.

[1079] In one, like two days, it's almost every single person has downloaded and played it.

[1080] And the crazy thing I was thinking of is how awesome is it that It's connected to Google, and we're sending, because it opens your camera at parts of the game when you're battling, and it's scanning your room, your houses, and it's sending it to Google.

[1081] You're crazy.

[1082] So this is, like, the best way that Google is now getting a complete map of our house inside.

[1083] It's, like, it's scanning every street.

[1084] In, like, one year, Google is going to be able to see every single inch of every single place inside and outside because of this game.

[1085] How long has it been out?

[1086] Like three days, right?

[1087] Three days.

[1088] It's already on more phones on Android than Tinder, and it's about to pass up Twitter.

[1089] Yeah.

[1090] I really think we should bring typewriters back.

[1091] I'm sorry.

[1092] And no one's thinking about this, though.

[1093] We're just opening our camera and recording our rooms and sending it to Google.

[1094] Wait a minute.

[1095] I'm not.

[1096] Joe, you're not.

[1097] How are you?

[1098] I was just looking up us.

[1099] I knew we were going to talk about us.

[1100] I pulled up some stuff already.

[1101] There's like the interesting thing that's happening with it being on open GPS maps is those places, those locations.

[1102] like there's a guy's home that's been turned into one of these gyms and he's like mad that people are showing up outside of his place it's because he bought an old church and so churches in the game automatically become gyms so people are hanging outside of his house now but also interesting things like this has happened where the Westboro Baptist Church has been overtaken by a gay friendly Pokemon and so people were like kind of I don't know necessarily trolling them and whatnot now that I kind of like but then so by walking around and looking for things a teenager found a dead body somewhere.

[1103] In just three days.

[1104] They've already found.

[1105] Dead body found by teenager hunting water Pokemon.

[1106] Yeah, she found it underneath a bridge.

[1107] Oh, my God.

[1108] And this last part, too.

[1109] I was trying to get a water Pokemon, Wiggins told CNN.

[1110] Instead, she made an alarming discovery, a dead body close to the Wyoming Highway 789 bridge.

[1111] I probably would have never went down there if it weren't for this game, she admitted.

[1112] But the scary incident isn't deterring her.

[1113] Wrigan says she will continue to play the game.

[1114] I saw somebody playing on the highway.

[1115] On the way here, I saw somebody playing on the highway.

[1116] Oh, my God.

[1117] Traffic's bad enough.

[1118] We don't need this.

[1119] Last night when I was waiting for my Uber at my house, just three minutes, I saw two different groups of kids, like one on skateboards and one on bikes, just playing the game.

[1120] And what's scary is, like, on that article, now armed robbers are robbing people at certain places in the game because they know the kids are going to be there with, like, new phones, like iPhones and stuff.

[1121] So they're waiting at certain places coming out, stealing their phones.

[1122] Whoa.

[1123] The game allows players to drop a lure module in a real -world location to attract high numbers of Pokemon for 30 minutes.

[1124] The lure modules have reportedly also been used by business owners to bring people to their stores.

[1125] What?

[1126] Yeah.

[1127] So this is the next level.

[1128] Yes.

[1129] This is what starts the next level.

[1130] This kind of thing.

[1131] The next level of what's the next level of what's a day.

[1132] This is augmented reality.

[1133] It's going to take over just as well as it.

[1134] And it's also scanning, just like Snapchat scanned all our faces using all these filters now.

[1135] And they have perfect, they could 3D model all our faces now because we've been scanning our faces.

[1136] Now, they're scanning the whole entire United States.

[1137] They're going to have maps of everything inside and outside in like less than a year.

[1138] Well, didn't we think, though, that eventually that that was going to be inevitable and that was going to be unavoidable?

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] The technology is going to dissolve all the windows.

[1141] Well, this is the next dissolving in the windows.

[1142] There's no more curtains on the window.

[1143] But it's also fascinating that it's an augmented reality.

[1144] Like, that's what got everybody in.

[1145] Like that the augmented reality is what snuck everybody in.

[1146] And everybody's like, oh, man, let's play a game.

[1147] Yay, I'm part of the game.

[1148] And you're like, what is happening?

[1149] You're completely sucked into this very bizarre new world where you're playing a game wrapped around your own actual environment.

[1150] What do you show me here?

[1151] This guy owns the gym of that guy.

[1152] house so he's a virtual owner of his property technically and it can be won or stolen or taken or so I know how it works woo -hoo I met the owner of my gym nice guy oh my god he's like yeah please don't tell anybody where I live dude please get away from my house right now like they're going to get sued those Pokemon people are going to get sued for sure there's going to be a lot of lawsuits about this game there's going to be a lot of people dying like I said on the way here I saw somebody using it while driving because no what do you do do you think that dead body was somebody trying to get a water Pokemon that just missed and no that dead body was probably somebody murdered or a homeless person yeah I mean it doesn't have to be he could have been under there where's the water well does somebody okay when you find something find like a water lure is that what it was yeah uh not um no it's a lure so what it's this thing that you can drop on the ground and so did someone drop it where the homeless where the dead person was no she was just searching for Pokemon like you go it's kind of it reminds me of like when you're a kid and you're on your bicycle bicycle and you're going around your neighborhood like playing adventure like looking at things and finding things it's kind of like that makes you kind of go out in your neighborhood and look at stuff like I didn't know that there was like a buddha across the street in like this forest by my house and I found out by this game because it's like go here you know there's some stuff here and whoa so it's kind of cool because it shows you around your neighborhood and stuff like that that you might have not known it's kind of like that old game, a geotagging game that people used to play where it's like go to these coordinates and you'll find like a present and you know.

[1153] Dude, if you get really cynical, you'd go, it's like some sort of an alien talking to you going, move around your coordinates and take photographs of everything so I can recreate it perfectly.

[1154] Yeah.

[1155] It's really interesting to see what businesses are doing.

[1156] Like Dairy Queen, like I said, dropped something on the ground.

[1157] And it's like paying customers only can come here and get Pokemon.

[1158] That's hilarious.

[1159] That's probably smart yeah that's smart for some people yeah can you imagine like we i grew up in south philly we didn't look at anything and if we saw something we just kept walking well we don't have to do that anymore eleanor yes you do it's no more slaves and you don't have to ride a horse around oh yeah i'm gonna go taking pictures around my mom's neighborhood yeah all right so let me explain to me because let me understand how this works you're you're playing it so if you're playing it like what are you seeing on the ground right now i see nothing i'm looking around i could see down the street there's uh some some cool places to get more coin or it's called pokey balls which you use to capture so these places exist how they just like they just decide that the things are there it's random but what they usually do is they they take certain things in google maps like all the churches are gyms where you go to work out and stuff like that your Pokemon's then they take like like the comedy store and they put certain like they know it's a landmark so they there's a lot going on there Like last night, if you go to the comedy store now, you haven't been there in a couple of days.

[1160] Every single person's playing.

[1161] Every single person working there is playing.

[1162] Every comic is everyone's just out there on their phones.

[1163] How did this happen so quick?

[1164] It's huge, man. Dude, I just heard about this like maybe two days ago.

[1165] Yeah, me too.

[1166] Two days ago, I saw a couple pictures.

[1167] It started as an April Fool's joke on YouTube, this video of what, someone made a fake application.

[1168] It looked like this, and it turned out to be a really good idea that someone developed.

[1169] Developed.

[1170] it's now out.

[1171] Yeah, overnight it's doing because it really hits this nerve in your head of collecting things and when you're going like, look what I've collected and look I've collected.

[1172] Whoa.

[1173] And it's the perfect thing to do when you're bored.

[1174] Like, I was in the Uber.

[1175] I'm just sitting there while we're driving by the Hollywood Bowl.

[1176] I'm like, oh, there's some cool stuff here.

[1177] I'm going to get here.

[1178] So it's a good thing to do when you have nothing else to do.

[1179] But what do you mean you get?

[1180] Like you just, as long as your phone It's like you're collecting virtual items.

[1181] It's like you're collecting virtual items.

[1182] Oh, okay.

[1183] Whoa.

[1184] Pokemon chasing investors.

[1185] led...

[1186] Send Nintendo's...

[1187] Oh, my God.

[1188] Go out there, just make it smaller.

[1189] Send Nintendo shares soaring.

[1190] Cray's added $9 billion in market value to gaming company.

[1191] What?

[1192] Nintendo was hurting.

[1193] What?

[1194] Nintendo was hurting before this.

[1195] Come on, this is incredible.

[1196] That's right.

[1197] Nintendo, yeah, that's an old school.

[1198] Okay, so you're walking around, explain this to me. I'm looking at this person holding their hand up.

[1199] They're walking around and they have like a phone open where they see the image of what's in front of them.

[1200] There she is.

[1201] But Pokemon stuff is just sort of floating around.

[1202] Yeah.

[1203] Oh, my God.

[1204] This is crazy.

[1205] And then you could grow eggs.

[1206] You can share or you can train your characters to be stronger.

[1207] And then you can battle other characters at gyms.

[1208] And this is, by the way, is just the first version.

[1209] They just, you know, they're going to be adding so much to this.

[1210] And what's interesting to note, I heard a rumor maybe that the new Grand Theft Auto is going to be doing the same thing.

[1211] So you're going to be playing Grand Theft Auto using Google Maps.

[1212] So you're going to be at your house.

[1213] and your house is going to be your house.

[1214] And so this is just the beginning of this whole idea of taking Google's information.

[1215] And it's getting people outside.

[1216] That's good.

[1217] Oh, yeah.

[1218] One of the things is that they're already saying that people are, like, kids are complaining about sore legs.

[1219] And like, get them out there.

[1220] Maybe this would be the video game that fixes people, yeah, fixes people who are addicted to video games.

[1221] I mean, that's the only positive thing I see.

[1222] I mean, it just makes me nervous.

[1223] They're all just hanging around playing with each other.

[1224] Oh, my God.

[1225] This is insane.

[1226] This is like the comedy store last night.

[1227] Comic -Con and San Diego is going to be a zoo with this problem.

[1228] Oh, yeah, I forgot about stuff like that.

[1229] This is fucking insane.

[1230] I can't believe I'm just...

[1231] Look at her sore legs.

[1232] Is that from being sore?

[1233] That's not sore.

[1234] That's like...

[1235] Come on.

[1236] They're fighting each other.

[1237] They're fighting animals.

[1238] I also heard that they banned it in San Francisco, but I haven't looked to see if that's true or not.

[1239] Like, some cities are actually banning it because people are not paying attention, just going into traffic and...

[1240] Oh, my God.

[1241] Well, I can say there was probably a lot of them on the 405 today.

[1242] Yeah.

[1243] Oh, I saw somebody.

[1244] If you think about it, this is probably just the next step in what we're eventually going to get, which is some sort of a reality that we can manipulate all the time.

[1245] Like, this is one part of it.

[1246] We're going to have little games in the regular reality, but you're going to have to look through your phone to see it.

[1247] But how long before that's glasses that you're wearing, like that Microsoft shit?

[1248] Weren't they already coming up with that thing?

[1249] What is it called again?

[1250] Magic Leap?

[1251] That's one.

[1252] I think that's the Google one.

[1253] Microsoft is the HoloLens.

[1254] HoloLens.

[1255] Are they both with goggles?

[1256] They're both augmented reality.

[1257] They're both developed around augmented reality.

[1258] And supposedly magically is supposed to be awesome.

[1259] I don't want to say it's better.

[1260] So no one likes regular reality anymore.

[1261] Come on, if you have a pair of glasses, just put on a pair of glasses.

[1262] What's that?

[1263] You put on a pair like, they live style.

[1264] I mean, Jesus Christ, they live is going to be real.

[1265] You put on a pair of glasses.

[1266] And then you see.

[1267] And you see all kinds of crazy shit.

[1268] Well, you could just go on.

[1269] All right.

[1270] But imagine.

[1271] Walk on Hollywood Boulevard.

[1272] That's strange as you should.

[1273] It's boring.

[1274] I want to see Dragon.

[1275] If you want to like constantly involved.

[1276] Yeah, that was me with the Google Glass on.

[1277] You have a pair?

[1278] No, no, no. No, that was...

[1279] Yeah, that's the one I saw.

[1280] That's what I was thinking of.

[1281] They were doing something with the UFC back then.

[1282] Shogun and Sondon.

[1283] They were doing something with the UFC and they wanted to get footage.

[1284] I noticed some 360 rigs going around this weekend.

[1285] I wonder what they're going to do with it.

[1286] I just noticed that there were people walking out with the fighters and then i noticed during the fights it was kind of like planted somewhere near the ring if you ever want to talk to uh the guys about it and be happy to introduce you to them yeah they're uh they're the best they know what the fuck to do there's all sorts of crazy stuff they've tried before that they don't do anymore um but uh i think they're doing 4k now too that's another new thing that's important nowadays it's so pretty uh it's really cool what it's done have you done the porn yet on the i i'm sorry what was that VR?

[1287] We went from Pokemon to porn.

[1288] Same thing.

[1289] You could do virtual reality porn?

[1290] Apparently, yeah.

[1291] So there's, I forget which website.

[1292] One of the main websites has...

[1293] Can you see somebody like that?

[1294] It has free...

[1295] Maybe that's what those people were doing with their phone during Jay and Ari's thing.

[1296] One of the main websites, porn websites, Porn Hub I think, has virtual porn now for free.

[1297] So you could buy this thing on Amazon, put your Samsung Note 5 in there.

[1298] And it's like a really cheap version of, you know, you could do.

[1299] do, kind of like Google Carboard.

[1300] But I tried it out the other day.

[1301] Immediately, I was like, oh, no, this is the one thing that's going to save porn.

[1302] Because after watching it, I felt way more connected to the girl in the sex.

[1303] It was way better at like a masturbation environment.

[1304] Whoa.

[1305] And that in music videos, like his, I don't know if you've seen Jamie's friend Cameron Gray.

[1306] So when you're saying way more connected, so you felt it wasn't like you were just watching porn?

[1307] Right.

[1308] It was like, oh my gosh, I'm more closer to this girl.

[1309] now because now I could like look at the girl's feet if I wanted to or I could look at like at the you know but but it it was like I was more like after I was done I was like holy cow I felt way closer to it you know this is a way better step up in porn music videos too like his buddy Cameron gray has a free app that you can download and it's like you're watching this music video but then you can look in the backseat and see what's going on in the backseat there's like all these different storylines going on all around and it's so cool if you haven't seen this shit his friend is has an amazing music video and it's on the app store Cameron gray well that makes sense man I think they're probably going to do that with comedy shows too right yeah I mean absolutely and that's when you've seen that stuff at the UFC they probably will have it where you can just sit there and watch a certain fights and you can look around you can see like dana sitting there you can see you yelling you know well you know what it might be too I mean I don't know this is just total speculation, but it might be that, is this the video?

[1310] Switch to the halfway, can you move it to the halfway point?

[1311] This part right here, he's in the back seat of a car, or you're in the front seat of a car, and there's somebody like catching this right here.

[1312] So you can look around and you can see him get out of the car, and you're like, wait, where did he go?

[1313] Is that like broken glass?

[1314] Yeah, he's getting something out of the trunk.

[1315] You're like, what's he getting out of the trunk?

[1316] You can just look around, and then it's so cool.

[1317] Or you could look forward if you choose to it.

[1318] I think that's this gritty ground, Joe.

[1319] I don't think that's glad.

[1320] And there's camera.

[1321] And he's like lighting something on fire.

[1322] But it's neat.

[1323] This as a good example, this is the first step.

[1324] I've seen somebody, like a music video do it.

[1325] This is a good example of like it takes you to a different level of a music video.

[1326] You're not watching a music video.

[1327] You get to look at whatever you want in this music video.

[1328] Yeah.

[1329] It's the next level of immersion.

[1330] Yeah.

[1331] But I don't believe that it's going to take off until they figure out how to make the, the, the, the, the, the, smaller, you know, more easier.

[1332] Well, do you think, here's the question, what is it, what is a movie going to be like if this becomes the new thing?

[1333] Because, like, we're used to seeing, like, if you want to see a great movie, right?

[1334] You want to see a raging bull, right?

[1335] Great movie.

[1336] You sit there and you watch this great movie.

[1337] It all plays out right in front of you.

[1338] When it doesn't, when it's all in your head, do you, do you still want to be around other people that are experiencing it?

[1339] Like, then is everybody walking around?

[1340] Is everybody seeing something different?

[1341] Yeah.

[1342] I think it's going to be Because it's a different perspective?

[1343] It ever gets to movies, if ever, just because if you have the goggles on, after a certain amount of time, you have to take them off.

[1344] You're just done.

[1345] You know, your eyes.

[1346] It's too much for your eyes.

[1347] Do you think that it's too much because it's just not good yet?

[1348] Do you think that's something they could work around?

[1349] A little bit of that and a little bit of, I think it really fucks with your everything.

[1350] It has to.

[1351] Well, they say if you look with shitty binoculars, it's bad for your eyes.

[1352] Like shitty glass.

[1353] Yeah.

[1354] And that kind of makes sense.

[1355] if you're looking through this lens at this image, it would have to be like Swarovsky crystal or some crazy shit.

[1356] You know what I mean?

[1357] Like to be really clear for your eyes.

[1358] Does that make sense?

[1359] Do you look at binoculars a lot?

[1360] Because it's straining.

[1361] Like, it also has to be like 90 frames per second or it has to be some kind of frames per second or it makes you sick.

[1362] So like some, like there's a video game that's coming out soon for, I think, Xbox or plays.

[1363] I forget that is a virtual reality game or one that you wear goggles, but they don't have the frame speed.

[1364] up fast enough so people are just getting sick immediately what I'm just thinking is like really good goggles or really good binoculars they're real expensive you know oh yeah you know like and like I think if you think about how much it costs just to buy a pair of binoculars like a really high -end pair of binoculars and think about like how much more it would be for a computer attached to that thing and looking through to have it look really clear like what is the difference between like a 4K.

[1365] What is the, it's just a resolution difference in 4K?

[1366] Yeah, it's pretty much like four HD TVs make one 4K screen.

[1367] But I've heard that, um, is it O -L -E -D, that that's the best, like, visual?

[1368] That's like saying nowadays, like plasma LCD, you know, like, that's a kind of TV or kind of a display.

[1369] So yeah.

[1370] So O -L -E -D is not anything special.

[1371] No, that's just like one of the better I think it's an organic LED, organic LED, organic light, Yeah, that's what I've been told looks the best.

[1372] I think so from what I've seen.

[1373] And do they make that in 4K too?

[1374] Yeah, 100%.

[1375] We're in a weird world, aren't we, folks?

[1376] You think?

[1377] I'm waiting for my TV to die so bad.

[1378] I'm dizzy listening to the conversation.

[1379] Why don't you give you a TV to like Josh?

[1380] No, no. It's a nice TV.

[1381] I just, you know, I wanted to die so I have a reason to get a new TV.

[1382] Oh, I know.

[1383] I hear you.

[1384] But it's like still a top of the line TV.

[1385] It's not like an old, it doesn't have a back.

[1386] Well, they were awesome just, they were awesome.

[1387] 10 years ago.

[1388] Yeah.

[1389] I have an old -ass TV in my gym.

[1390] My TV and my gym I got in 2003.

[1391] This is the same TV.

[1392] Oh, yeah.

[1393] It's interesting.

[1394] But still, they're good.

[1395] It's pretty good.

[1396] I think mine's that old.

[1397] It would be cheap as fuck today.

[1398] Like, if I bought it today, it would be like nothing.

[1399] Oh, that's garbage.

[1400] You're like, well, I've just spent a fortune on this.

[1401] Yeah.

[1402] I've got something beautiful.

[1403] Look at this.

[1404] It goes on the wall.

[1405] You ever find an old laptop you got laying around?

[1406] Mm -hmm.

[1407] You're like, oh, my God.

[1408] God, look at this piece of shit.

[1409] Just two years ago, I got rid of the desktop computer with the big, what's I call?

[1410] Yeah, the tower.

[1411] Oh, my God.

[1412] Even my boyfriend who doesn't get into this at all, he was like, what, your shit's old.

[1413] I was like, old.

[1414] They still use it for, like, graphic design and stuff, right?

[1415] Like, like.

[1416] Do they?

[1417] They still have great towers.

[1418] Yeah.

[1419] No, they have towers, but it's definitely, mine was like a PC.

[1420] It was old, ugly.

[1421] It had a back, the top, you know?

[1422] Have you seen that one that Apple makes?

[1423] It looks like some sort of like an alien hive.

[1424] I love it.

[1425] What is that thing called?

[1426] Power.

[1427] That's just the, it's their computer.

[1428] All they are is things that put my daddy out of business.

[1429] What is it called?

[1430] MacPro.

[1431] The Mac Pro.

[1432] Oh, Mac Pro.

[1433] Yeah, but it's like, it's a piece of sculpture.

[1434] Like, you look at it.

[1435] You're like, oh, great, were you getting paid by Apple, bro?

[1436] Getting bought out by Apple, bro.

[1437] You know, it's weird is they sell that.

[1438] Would that be a bad thing?

[1439] Now they don't sell the display anymore.

[1440] This thing.

[1441] So they sell that, but they don't sell a display for it anymore.

[1442] Okay.

[1443] How's that work?

[1444] Supposed to use the old display that you had.

[1445] They only want repeat customers.

[1446] Jamie, price it out to, like, with the best specs.

[1447] It's amazing how expensive this thing is.

[1448] $4 ,674.

[1449] Oh, that's why I've never heard of it.

[1450] I'll go on their website real quick.

[1451] Yeah, I think the last time I did it, I think it was like $10 ,000 or even more than that for the top of the line.

[1452] No way.

[1453] Use something like that for, like Photoshop or videos.

[1454] No, 4K, editing 4K video.

[1455] Editing.

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] Movies or video?

[1458] Like literally?

[1459] Look at that beautiful thing.

[1460] Yeah, it's so beautiful.

[1461] Built for creativity on an epic scale.

[1462] Is that what it said?

[1463] Uh -huh.

[1464] Oh, wow, look at that.

[1465] New power structure.

[1466] Whoa, come on, man. You open the top of that thing.

[1467] Tell me it doesn't look like something alien's made.

[1468] Yeah.

[1469] We found this on another planet.

[1470] We'd be like, holy shit.

[1471] We found the motherland.

[1472] Yeah.

[1473] This is where all life was created.

[1474] People would like hover around it.

[1475] Worship it.

[1476] I mean, seriously, folks, we are in a fucking science fiction movie.

[1477] God.

[1478] We really are.

[1479] It's just creeping up on us so slowly.

[1480] What was it that it just showed?

[1481] Acoustic level.

[1482] Acoustic level meaning was so quiet.

[1483] Clear.

[1484] But that was that animation.

[1485] Look, he's pricing it out now.

[1486] Like graphics, you can get six gigabytes dual AMD.

[1487] Oh, sexy as fuck.

[1488] Look at Fredman.

[1489] You're so weird.

[1490] I'm looking at it.

[1491] I'm having part palpitations looking at it.

[1492] No keyboard or monitor.

[1493] It's actually a lot cheaper.

[1494] No keyboard.

[1495] or monitor with that.

[1496] It's gotten to do.

[1497] It's gotten cheaper.

[1498] The difference between what that can do and what a regular iMac can do is just time?

[1499] Or is there anything that that can do that an iMac just would not be able to do?

[1500] It's mostly speed.

[1501] Yeah.

[1502] But because of the video card it has in it too.

[1503] Like the iMac, the best iMac now, I'm pretty sure it really is just the best like mobile card you could have because it would fit inside a laptop.

[1504] Right.

[1505] Like, this is way beyond that.

[1506] So, like, I don't think you could do...

[1507] You can get 4K display because it's a 4K display on the IMAQ, but it's still, like, it's the very bottom of it where this one you can do multiple monitors and render it faster, too.

[1508] There's some interesting benchmarks that I read recently that it actually showed the IMAX as faster than that at certain, at video editing and stuff like that, because those graphic cards don't have, or those processors aren't as fast as the processor that's in the iMac for some reason they have like the iMac has like speed boost technology where the ones in there doesn't like there was a weird thing i just read recently about how hmm how this is this is making me dizzy this whole conversation whatever they did here it was 27 inch iMac with retina 5k display yes yeah it's much faster that's crazy yeah isn't that weird i just read about this so what's the point in that thing just to look good i like to look like i know what I'm doing.

[1509] I want to have one of the macros.

[1510] Yeah, you gotta have this.

[1511] No, it looks sexy, Jamie, not space.

[1512] Sexy.

[1513] The iMac gives you more space, doesn't it?

[1514] Uh, I mean like space saving.

[1515] I didn't mean, like, digital space.

[1516] I mean, like, for your office space.

[1517] But that would, IMAC would give you more space because it's all in one piece.

[1518] Honestly, I don't know what the reason is for buying it anymore is.

[1519] Yeah, because the other thing you would have to get a monitor for.

[1520] I have the 27 -inch iMac 4K retina, not the 5K, and it's fast as fuck.

[1521] I have the NSD on this.

[1522] I have the NSD on there and it's stuff like that.

[1523] It renders so fast.

[1524] I can't even imagine it being faster.

[1525] I'm pretty sure there's limitations on the processors that the IMac can handle that this can handle faster processing.

[1526] It would be specific to what you're actually doing.

[1527] Like you would, if we needed one, we would have to get it built specifically to some use we would have to find for it.

[1528] Like, not everyone really needs these at all.

[1529] Well, let me ask you this.

[1530] Does Apple sell a monitor anymore?

[1531] No, they just got rid of it.

[1532] What?

[1533] Yeah.

[1534] That's so ridiculous.

[1535] The IMA was the same price as the monitor.

[1536] That's like Toyota said, no steering.

[1537] wheel bitch yeah we don't we don't like windshields this is like watching us you got to get your own once you get it yeah it's like watching a Spanish channel I have no idea what you guys are talking about like talking about computer stuff manly things told me that computers were only a face I don't know what you guys are talking what was your dad like when you had to close the typewriter store and give up on a dream very very upset that had to be such a bummer very upset because people who love like mechanical things like typewriters like that when something comes along and just takes out way.

[1538] Yeah.

[1539] And my grandpa, he built tools specifically for typewriters that can only fix typewriters, but he never marketed them.

[1540] He thought he cornered, like, everybody would come to him.

[1541] Right.

[1542] Different Irish mentality.

[1543] Because of, like, hipsters and stuff, aren't typewriters on an upswing?

[1544] No, it's still not bringing it high enough.

[1545] Nothing?

[1546] A little.

[1547] It's got a, it's got a tiny little heartbeat, but not like, because they buy them and then they just put them there for decorative feature.

[1548] Like, it's not like, oh, I have to get all the letters out today or whatever it is.

[1549] I was actually going to do that very thing until you just brought it up and humiliated my idea, so...

[1550] Oh, no, it's what people do.

[1551] I mean, I have it too.

[1552] My sister Karen has her...

[1553] They do look badass, but I wouldn't, unless it was someone's cool.

[1554] My dad has ancient ones, like right in the beginning, typewriters.

[1555] Oh, so you can convert it into an IMAQ?

[1556] Oh, my God, it's hilarious.

[1557] If I could get that from my dad, he would play with it.

[1558] He would play with that.

[1559] That's hilarious.

[1560] That's hilarious.

[1561] Look, it attaches to a fucking screen, an oldie -schooling typewriter.

[1562] Convert your favorite typewriter so they can take yours and they can convert it to that.

[1563] Oh, my God, I have to send this to my dad's wife because she will do that for him.

[1564] That is fucking brilliant.

[1565] And it still has the arms.

[1566] And we bought him an iPad for Christmas, so he knows how that.

[1567] Look at that.

[1568] Look how it's typing.

[1569] It's typing on that flat thing.

[1570] And it still has the ribbon in there.

[1571] What the hell does it need the ribbon for?

[1572] I think that's how it's reading the type strokes.

[1573] Oh, yeah, huh.

[1574] Yeah, okay.

[1575] Oh my god I love this Maybe that'd be fun to What's happening We're making a comeback Maybe that'd be fun to type You know Or write on you know It's still types on paper too Oh wow Oh my god This is awesome Turn off your monitor For an authentic experience What in the fuck are you saying?

[1576] I love this This is amazing And I'm sending this to my dad immediately Well I have to send it to his girlfriend And she has to explain How to turn it on And listen Yeah, look at They gave out that guy's email Bad move Oh shit Here come the dick pick son Here comes the thunder This is so strange Yeah, that's cool That's amazing Oh I see so there's different ones One of them works It just goes side to side with an iPad So the iPad actually moves The iPad is what we got him for Christmas So that would be a cool thing to teach him You know Like to put it on there Because he literally He is saddened by The progress I mean it was all he knew you do you know the woody allen still types on an old typewriter they had like in the 70s yes i ever seen that it's kind of interesting man i have heard that a few people tom hanks too tom hanks is big on i mean i don't think he types scripts on it but he's big on collecting them and some of his people were in my dad's typewriter store like 20 years ago and they were like hey we want this because my dad has this old one like that's probably worth a lot of money but my dad just keeps it like it's not smart And so they were like, yeah, we'll buy that from you for a lot of money, and my dad wouldn't sell it.

[1577] Look, this is a perverts cabin here.

[1578] That's my dad's house.

[1579] How dare you?

[1580] This is a Woody Allen with his ancient keyboard.

[1581] It's really interesting, actually, because he's like he goes over his whole process of how he writes.

[1582] Yeah, I want to see what kind it is, is it?

[1583] Well, he uses just regular paper.

[1584] No, no, no, the typewriter is it an Underwood, or is it a royal?

[1585] he looks like he writes on yellow legal paper is that what that is that what that looks like or is it just the lighting yeah he's not big on lighting he likes everything yellow oh yep yep yep yep the setup the setup the swing oh it's gone ladies and gentlemen out of the park big poppy hit it out yeah um but uh maybe we are making a comeback You ever see Hunter S. Thompson type?

[1586] Only, yeah.

[1587] He never learned how to type.

[1588] Yeah.

[1589] How about that?

[1590] It's like my dad.

[1591] He wrote so many books and he would type like this.

[1592] With one finger.

[1593] Click, click, click, click, click.

[1594] You never seen him?

[1595] Yeah.

[1596] Dude, you got to watch.

[1597] Johnny Depp does an amazing impression of him in that movie.

[1598] Which one was it?

[1599] Fear and Loathing.

[1600] Yeah, it was Fear and Loathing, but it was also, oh, that's what it was.

[1601] He was the narrator of, they played it all.

[1602] also in the gonzo life and times of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.

[1603] Now, that's an IBM Selectric 3.

[1604] That is how he would write, like literally like that.

[1605] What is that?

[1606] IBM Selectric 3 looks like.

[1607] That's the one that Hunter used, I guess.

[1608] It has the ball.

[1609] Oh, the ball.

[1610] That's right.

[1611] I remember the ball.

[1612] That was like the next step up, right?

[1613] Yeah, that was the high.

[1614] And then Smith Corona came out with kind of a word processor that my dad was selling.

[1615] But that's the one he used to get mad at because when you put labels through it, it would seep through and the goo would come out and it would make everything stick.

[1616] So it would screw up the, that's why my dad said computers are only a phase because you can't do the labels properly.

[1617] It's kind of crazy how quick it happened.

[1618] If you look at like the history of the typewriter, like how long has a typewriter been around?

[1619] How dare you not know?

[1620] You're right.

[1621] Okay, let's guess.

[1622] Let's guess.

[1623] My dad was teaching us to play with grenades, not typewrap.

[1624] I'm just kidding.

[1625] What, you had to guess?

[1626] 1827.

[1627] Well, that's a killer.

[1628] guess, but I would go lower.

[1629] What would you go, Eleanor?

[1630] 17 something, no?

[1631] I think I'd probably go with you because your dad owns a typewriter store, so I'm just going to copy off you.

[1632] What did you come up with?

[1633] You're right.

[1634] It's probably earlier, but I mean, I don't know, man. Just sort of curious, I mean, I could see that one that my dad has that was one of the, almost one of the first.

[1635] If I had a guess, I feel like, I feel like you're, you sound right.

[1636] I'm going to go with 1797.

[1637] I'm going to ride the line.

[1638] The first obtained patent in Britain for a machine that did something similar to a typewriter was 1714.

[1639] Yeah, we need a typewriter.

[1640] And then 1802 one was developed.

[1641] 1808.

[1642] So another one was developed.

[1643] 1875, an Italian printmaker named Francesco Romposetto invented the Skorita something, I don't know, a machine that presses letters into paper.

[1644] So that's a typewriter, basically.

[1645] Interesting.

[1646] Yeah, that's basically a typewriter.

[1647] Well, they had a printing press.

[1648] I would know exactly when, yeah.

[1649] What was printing press?

[1650] Like 1 ,500?

[1651] Oh, printing press.

[1652] Printing press.

[1653] Yeah, that's what he's saying, that on the paper.

[1654] Right.

[1655] But that is a printing press then, right?

[1656] That's the 1 ,500 one?

[1657] This is a machine that and press letters on paper, I guess.

[1658] What was he or that?

[1659] 1575.

[1660] When was Martin Luther?

[1661] That was one of the things about Martin Luther's translation of the Bible, right?

[1662] Was that he was able to print it?

[1663] That sounds like a stamp, though, what you're talking about.

[1664] like this is just like a stamp not a typewriter well it's not like going to kinko's no he's saying no i mean like no i mean this patent that james's talking about because yeah he's saying it's just like putting imprint on a paper yeah so it's not like a press right it's essentially the penning press yeah god it's so hard to remember where wow look at that fucking thing what does it say la scripture mechanica can you go full screen on that looks like see the one in the middle.

[1665] My dad has that.

[1666] Whoa.

[1667] How does that work?

[1668] Oh, that's weird.

[1669] So you would push down on those buttons on the top and it would write things down the bottom.

[1670] Is that what we would go on?

[1671] That crank is your shift.

[1672] Look how weird that is.

[1673] Yeah.

[1674] That crank is your shift, right?

[1675] So, Eleanor, feed us through that.

[1676] What is, or talk us through that?

[1677] That would like this one.

[1678] And feed the paper into the bottom.

[1679] Mm -hmm.

[1680] And then.

[1681] I'm assuming.

[1682] And then that crank is your shift to get you across.

[1683] Yeah, the one on the upper piece.

[1684] Yeah, what's the one on the bottom?

[1685] That's what, like, that came from the printing press because that's how you would press your paper and ink down on each other.

[1686] Like, turn it down and let it lay it out, maybe?

[1687] How weird are those buttons?

[1688] Who taught you how to do that?

[1689] This place in Columbus called Kosai, they have this streets of yesterday year, and you can literally go and make wax candles and use a printing press.

[1690] Did you make butter?

[1691] I don't think they have butter there.

[1692] That's another part of Ohio.

[1693] Butter?

[1694] Are you into butter?

[1695] Ohio, they don't make butter in Ohio?

[1696] No, they do.

[1697] There's another part of the thing where you can go learn that.

[1698] That wasn't at that place.

[1699] Old -schooly stuff is cool.

[1700] I saw this old lady in Montana and this historic recreation of a house.

[1701] There's like this museum of Bozeman.

[1702] In the Museum of Bozeman, they have these people that are making wool yarn.

[1703] And so she's got wool out and she's running it through this spindle.

[1704] And as she's running it through the spindle, she's turning it into thread and attaching more wool to it.

[1705] She's explaining how the wool just clings to other wool that it's got some sort of a tension thing or an attractant.

[1706] like a little barbs or something like that something that sticks out and like and you rub the wools together that kind of cling to each other and so she was doing this all by hand and foot like old schooly and making and doing it like in real time like she'd pull out these big tufts of this wool that just sheered from a lamb she'd take it and she just started attaching it and she's talking to us and pumping this pedal and making this wool it's pretty badass man yeah I've done that before that they do that a lot there's a lot of that shit in Ohio and they also Williams West Virginia, they have like that whole town where they have like real fights, they have real blacksmiths and just you go to recreate it.

[1707] Yeah, it's awesome.

[1708] Yeah, people get weird with recreations, but that was cool.

[1709] It was pretty cool.

[1710] But it is part of the history.

[1711] So you can't get mad.

[1712] I mean, it is.

[1713] No, that's not weird.

[1714] Like the Civil War stuff's weird.

[1715] It is.

[1716] It is uncomfortable.

[1717] Yeah.

[1718] It is uncomfortable.

[1719] Not for all of us, but some of us.

[1720] No, just saying, but it is.

[1721] It is a weird thing.

[1722] But it's part of the history.

[1723] So don't you think?

[1724] But the history of people recreate in war Like we don't know what happened Those people like look out We're coming over the top Bang bang!

[1725] They're pretending they're at war Trying to fight to keep their slaves They're getting shot at My dad shot me with a musket wall But what I'm saying is it like it's I don't know it's just it's a strange thing To recreate that but at least Do you think they do that in Korea?

[1726] I don't know I don't I never ran But at least this lady making this wool Like when she's making this wool Like now you know how they did it Like you could watch oh I'm watching her it you know yeah like it's not a lost skill because we would oh yeah otherwise you know you and i if you and i were like how do they make wool yarn would be like fuck i don't know how the fuck do they do they left us with a bunch of wool and we're like do we got to make yarn well did they tell us out no we have to figure it out fuck sure there's a youtube video yeah but what if you can get online what if you're just sitting in a room an empty room with a pile of wool what are you going to do survive you're not going to make you're not going to make clothes are you okay no i'm just I'm just thinking about that.

[1727] Like, how would you?

[1728] What would you do?

[1729] Look at that.

[1730] Oh, my God.

[1731] There I am.

[1732] The old spinster.

[1733] Yeah.

[1734] They used to think those old women were cursing them.

[1735] That's where, like, sleeping beauty came from.

[1736] It's really good.

[1737] She's so cute.

[1738] My mom and dad used to collect singer sewing machines.

[1739] Remember the old ones where you had like the old iron ones and you have to like get new rubber.

[1740] were stoppers because all the rubbers got in ohio there's so many barns and they're about to tear down these barns and you they have barn sales where you just go and like you see anything you want in there my dad would go to them and just take all the singer sewing machines because they always had sewing machines in them for that kind of reason like shaving sheep and making stuff in there easy yeah i mean i'd be terrified to do that but the people that did it for years yeah they did it for a long fucking time that is a cool look and my sister has one of us Badass.

[1741] My dad has that almost exact one right there.

[1742] If you can make clothes, go back to that one, please.

[1743] If you can make clothes with that one that you're pumping with your feet.

[1744] My grandma had one of those.

[1745] My sister Karen has a big one like that, I think.

[1746] Or maybe up there.

[1747] My grandma had a bunch of cool old stuff like that.

[1748] Yeah.

[1749] I used to love just walking my foot on the ass.

[1750] Did she make clothes your grandma?

[1751] Did she do that?

[1752] I don't really remember her making any clothes.

[1753] I don't remember.

[1754] I mean, maybe she did.

[1755] She probably did.

[1756] I just don't remember.

[1757] I remember.

[1758] She was ill. like the last years of her life so i mostly remember that unfortunately because it was all during the formative years yeah right but that thing go back to that jammy look how beautiful that thing is yeah like the the craftsmanship and the design and like if you look at like the gold that's in the uh the sewing machine thing itself like god it's so pretty it is really cool my sister designs costumes for her daughter as a dancer and she would do a recital every year and Karen also, my older sister would go and like while the shows were happening she would stitch stuff up as well and a couple years ago she had two like straight pins in her lip and she was like helping their kids you know they're young so Karen's like putting all the stuff together she was fixing somebody's thing and somebody called her and she went and she wanted the she swallowed a pin she's got a pin in her lung my crazy sister So what are I do?

[1759] There's nothing you can do what?

[1760] Yeah Yeah.

[1761] My mother's like, is that thing rusting in your...

[1762] Oh, my God.

[1763] She literally has a pan.

[1764] Is her body going to absorb it?

[1765] Is it stainless steel?

[1766] I guess.

[1767] That could take a long, fuck, one time.

[1768] What is she going to do?

[1769] It's in her lung.

[1770] They saw it.

[1771] Cut her open like a fish.

[1772] Get it out of there.

[1773] Yeah.

[1774] Cut me. Crazy.

[1775] Cut me, Mickey.

[1776] It's been a while.

[1777] Maybe it's more than two years, but she killed me if I'm saying the wrong ones.

[1778] But I remember she had blood work done or something done, and they were like, hey, do you...

[1779] She has some metal, something, whatever.

[1780] What about when she goes to the airport?

[1781] She was like, well, this is what happened.

[1782] Oh, my God.

[1783] That's so crazy.

[1784] Yeah, I don't think she's had any problem at the airport yet.

[1785] But it could have got stuck on the way down.

[1786] Easy.

[1787] And then she would have been fucked.

[1788] But it's definitely inner lung.

[1789] Oh, my God.

[1790] That's so crazy.

[1791] Oh, my God.

[1792] My crazy sister.

[1793] But that's Karen.

[1794] She's always doing like five billion things at once.

[1795] So she just, of course she did that.

[1796] Of course that happened.

[1797] Oh, my God.

[1798] How bizarre.

[1799] But her costumes look great.

[1800] What a weird thing.

[1801] feeling it must be walk around with a knowing as you oh yeah we torture her in your chest like we want to put a magnet in her mouth and see if it comes back up it seems like she could cough wrong and it could just rip something open or something God forbid God forbid but yeah I don't think that's I love that expression God forbid God forbid you cannot think of that expression and not think about Dom Arirre it's true God forbid what's the South Philly that's how we talk yeah everybody I know but it's so it's so Dom oh yeah God forbid bit it used to make fun of my grandma and she would say oh god forbid it's a sin and a shame what that kid looks like what that's an awful thing knowing what you know now knowing what you know now let me ask you both this question knowing what you know now what time would you like to go back if you could if there was a time machine you can go back to like the 1950s and just run shit for all those dorks they didn't know nothing back then you can just go like back and and you mean you would know what you know now but going back exactly oh shit what year would it be 19 still couldn't vote in the 50s so maybe I could lead a charge you could vote in the 50s when was suffrage oh wait 28 no what am I saying for us I wouldn't want to go back I would want to go no was it I definitely not definitely not I just watched back to the future yesterday and it was horrible I know I thought it was fascinating I saw back to the future two with my kids at a movie theater and you thought it was terrible loved it Oh, I was going to...

[1802] No, I wouldn't want to live back in that time.

[1803] Oh, oh, I was like, wait, what?

[1804] I love that movie.

[1805] No, back to the future, too.

[1806] I don't think I ever saw it.

[1807] Oh, I think I only saw one.

[1808] Oh, no, I did see two.

[1809] I remember too.

[1810] It was great.

[1811] Yeah.

[1812] It was fun.

[1813] And that was this year, I think, right?

[1814] Like, 2015, 2015, dude.

[1815] Isn't that weird when you watch?

[1816] They're like, oh, that was the, they were in the future.

[1817] It was our time now.

[1818] Everybody was so off.

[1819] They missed everything.

[1820] Everybody thought it was going to be spaceships.

[1821] Everybody thought it was going to be hoverboards.

[1822] They thought it was going to be mechanical things.

[1823] No, it's Pokemon, you fuck.

[1824] Pokemon has invaded the world.

[1825] Invasion of privacy.

[1826] Exactly.

[1827] That's what it is.

[1828] It's some sort of a connection between all of us in a weird sneaky way.

[1829] It's going to get it in with a game and we're going to get used to it.

[1830] Just like you're used to now, people like holding up their phones and taking pictures of things.

[1831] And we're used to, you know, people texting each other while they're driving.

[1832] Like all this stuff is, it's inevitable.

[1833] It's going to be all a part of us.

[1834] We're just going to figure.

[1835] It's trying to figure out a way to absorb us.

[1836] I think it's got us.

[1837] I think it's got us.

[1838] You don't think it absorbs us right now?

[1839] Yeah, but it's deeper.

[1840] Even more.

[1841] You think it's even going to go further.

[1842] Yeah, like technology's not going to stop and go, you know what?

[1843] I think we're good.

[1844] I think we've achieved a certain level of success with people.

[1845] We know that they love us.

[1846] They're going to keep us around.

[1847] Yeah, nobody stays.

[1848] They're always looking for the next best thing.

[1849] Like you always yell, where are the flying cars?

[1850] Where are the flying cars?

[1851] We're in the future.

[1852] Where is it?

[1853] Where is it?

[1854] Yeah.

[1855] And you're right?

[1856] Well, the mechanical thing is what everybody expected.

[1857] Because the mechanical.

[1858] things were the biggest leaps.

[1859] Like, think about before there was a car.

[1860] Before there was a car and then after there was a car.

[1861] Whoa, how nutty.

[1862] I mean, look what the fuck happened.

[1863] People just came across the country on wheels and built fucking houses everywhere and they drive with shit back and forth and they're shipping things on trucks and food on trucks and you can get food to places that could ever get it before.

[1864] That's a game change when they invented the car.

[1865] Yeah.

[1866] And that's just a machine.

[1867] So I think all of us growing up in that era, like in our time, we looked at like, we thought it was going to be a machine.

[1868] It's going to be some crazy robot.

[1869] It was going to be a jet pack.

[1870] We're going to be something that showed us that we're living in the Jetsons.

[1871] But no, it's something no one ever saw coming.

[1872] Yeah, it's a different way.

[1873] Information.

[1874] I remember my grandma telling me she was so afraid of cars and the fact that my grandpa drove like a maniac, he probably drank and drove because it was, you know, a long time ago.

[1875] And she was so afraid she would lay on the back seat on the floor.

[1876] And just her and her best friend would lay on the back.

[1877] And I'm like, wow like i would never think to be afraid of cars you get in anything you know what i mean getting any car it's awesome you know it works you know it's great but that it was still coming up for my grandma well byron bowers you know so funny hilarious dude great great fucking guy so funny um he's going to be on here in a couple weeks byron his grandmother remembers someone in her family telling her a story about them remembering the cotton gin wow yeah that's crazy crazy I mean this is a direct connection like yeah like his family goes straight back to slavery like he they can track it like they remember they remember the people they were picking cotton this is grandma this is great grandma you know who there's still cotton pickers do you know that of course yeah sure it never went away yeah never went away yeah I know there was a I forget There was a black guy, and he goes, I'm a cotton picker.

[1878] There was a video all about it, and then it showed all his friends working, and they're just like, hey, what's up?

[1879] And it's funny how you think that, oh, no, they used, you're not allowed to even talk about picking cotton anymore.

[1880] They get paid to do it now, thank God.

[1881] Yeah, that's a weird job for black dudes to gravitate towards.

[1882] It's like, why did you?

[1883] You would think you were a rebel against that one.

[1884] Do you know, you know.

[1885] you know are there any no but uh paul mooney used to tell us crazy stories and i remember one time we had this manager i forget his name there were so many managers at the comedy store but paul would tell me all these crazy stories he was raised by his grandma who was uh his mom her mom was a slave literally a slave so so he would tell stories and if you think about it i mean paul's in his 80s yeah so yeah his grandma could it was paul that old pa what paul that old i think so isn't it Is he really amazing?

[1886] Late 70s, possibly 80.

[1887] Wow.

[1888] And but he would tell me all these stories and the manager was like, slavery, they haven't had slavery in like thousands of years.

[1889] I was like, he was so serious.

[1890] And I was like, what?

[1891] And he goes, well, at least 500.

[1892] Oh, my God.

[1893] Oh, my God.

[1894] But we didn't have Google.

[1895] I couldn't say, hey, idiot, Google it.

[1896] I was just like, are you crazy?

[1897] But I just walked away from him.

[1898] Because I was like, I'm either going to strangle him.

[1899] like he just for me saying that it was less than 200 years ago at that point he didn't believe me but there's some things that people say like that like that just that like listen that's what you want it to be you want it to be thousands of years ago that's what you want it to be i know what you're doing yeah like why do you think that that's the case no like people say weird shit like like like i had a discussion with a guy a long fucking time ago about the civil war and he was talking about the economic impact like it was they were going to cripple the farms like it was an economic war.

[1900] They forced them in a corner where they had...

[1901] It was about slavery.

[1902] It was just about...

[1903] Yeah.

[1904] If you don't want to pay people and you're making them work, that's economics.

[1905] That's a problem.

[1906] People don't like that.

[1907] They like to get paid for work.

[1908] So, yeah, in that sense, it was an economic issue.

[1909] What?

[1910] But people repeat that because they can drink and go, yeah, well, these fucking liberals try telling that to them.

[1911] They don't want to hear it.

[1912] They don't want to hear it was about...

[1913] Listen, these people who were slaves, a lot of them were treated very well i have you know there's a lot of like that roots that propaganda that movie that that uh that ron hubbard who ever wrote that shit that guy that guy he wrote but a lot of them were good friends with the with the white folks sometimes they interbred my god they often interbred the massa would pick himself a good woman and she would be treated better than the rest so you know i mean how much different is that than working at burger king i mean come on there's a lot of those dudes out there.

[1914] They were always out there.

[1915] Yes.

[1916] They're crazy.

[1917] I didn't know we were going to bring my dad back up.

[1918] There's a lot of people were fucking completely insane.

[1919] Yeah, it's true.

[1920] There's a lot of people that are just, and they, but the thing is like, when a guy says that, it's about economics, it's about economics.

[1921] Yeah, you don't know anything.

[1922] They want it to be that.

[1923] So they want there to be a bunch of silly people.

[1924] Yeah, they don't, they don't want like slavery to have been abolished in just 1865.

[1925] Yeah.

[1926] And people went to war over it.

[1927] Yeah.

[1928] Yeah.

[1929] It's so recent.

[1930] Fuck, that's recent, you know?

[1931] I was born in 67, okay?

[1932] So it's 200 years, rather, before I was born.

[1933] Think about that.

[1934] Or 100 years, rather.

[1935] 100 years before I was born.

[1936] Think about that.

[1937] No. That's nothing.

[1938] That's nothing.

[1939] I mean, yeah, my grandma was 93 when she died.

[1940] 1865 doesn't even sound right.

[1941] When you say it, that it was only 140 -something years ago, you're like, nah.

[1942] It was more than that, right?

[1943] It was more than that, right?

[1944] that's more than that right oh my god what creeps we were we had slaves just a fucking couple hundred years ago I have family that lived to be a hundred so that's an easy number Jesus Christ that's cool that is so strange that that was so recent and in places where it was like real now stop and think of that right think of places where like slavery was real prevalent right people lived on the slavery they had it there was lynchings there was all that kind of crazy shit and now think that all goes away just 150 years ago yeah and they got to recover so a racist grandpappy racist pawpaw racist pie pie they get together tell you what we're going to do we're going to put our foot down i'll tell you what we're going to do we're going to stop all this inner breeding Chelsea handler did something on her show that first one on netflix where she went and visited places like that like where it still had and it was so i was like oh and she's having conversations and they're doing what you're saying with the economic and i'm like what the and she's like wait a minute and like trying to school them but it's just you're right like this blinders well they don't they don't look into it and that's what they want to hear so it's it's what they talk about it's a fascinating thing when people do that when people don't consider the possibility of another point of view or that yeah you can't be that close -minded that's insane yeah i mean if you look at how many people like benefited from slavery stopping like yeah the idea that anybody's out there somehow i'm not saying well we'll need about that was about keeping this corn business going i need someone to pick this here corn i can't pick it on myself on back as bad we're trying to keep a family fed yeah trying to support a community fuck that's great living in those places like living in spots where it was like insanely racist for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years right and then to expect that to just shut off and to turn around within our lifetimes it's almost amazing that people aren't more racist well Philadelphia's pretty racist Boston's pretty racist only parts of Boston parts Boston like the center Boston is very liberal very democratic very progressive I said, but there's a lot of Italians that don't like the collets.

[1945] Well, they don't like, my parents growing up, you couldn't date Italian Irish.

[1946] Yeah, well, they don't like people.

[1947] Oh, my God, they would freak out.

[1948] Yeah, they don't like people that are different than them.

[1949] They get mad.

[1950] And Italian Irish, like, people like, you and I were the dirtiest of the Muts.

[1951] I'm 100 % Irish.

[1952] You think you are.

[1953] Well, my dad.

[1954] You've had so much dicking you from Italian guys.

[1955] If we're going with that, Joe.

[1956] Set it out.

[1957] I'm representing every country.

[1958] I watched the Olympics and go, I've been there.

[1959] Yeah, Philly is, it's similar in a lot of ways.

[1960] Like Philly, New York, Boston, New Jersey.

[1961] They all have like a different feel to them.

[1962] But what's similar is they're hardy people that are living in tough climates.

[1963] Exactly.

[1964] They're the children of the children of immigrants for the most part, you know.

[1965] Yeah, most of my neighbors growing up spoke Italian.

[1966] Yeah.

[1967] I mean, we came over.

[1968] I don't remember how far back.

[1969] I think my great -great on my dad's side and then great -great -great on my mom's side came from Ireland.

[1970] That's, yeah, that's a lot of the people that I grew up with.

[1971] It was always like their dad's dad or something along the one way.

[1972] It was my grandparents on both sides came from my parents, my mom's side.

[1973] It was all Italian and my dad's side was half Irish and half Italian.

[1974] One from Italy, one from Ireland.

[1975] But they were all fresh off the boat.

[1976] Nice.

[1977] That Irish snuck in there.

[1978] Just bang in each other.

[1979] Dirty little monkeys.

[1980] We're not supposed to be together.

[1981] We're not even supposed to be on this continent, baby.

[1982] Take my seed.

[1983] Grow me a person.

[1984] Grow me a person.

[1985] Grow me a person and your buddy.

[1986] My mom's good at that one.

[1987] Ten.

[1988] Ten, and my dad's dad was one of 15.

[1989] Good Lord.

[1990] There's a lot of us out there.

[1991] The Irish know how to fuck.

[1992] So shit go down.

[1993] Well, we do.

[1994] They like to keep them, too.

[1995] Yeah, they've got a lot of kids.

[1996] That's a gang -o kids.

[1997] My mom's sister had 10 kids, too.

[1998] Oh, my God.

[1999] What were picnics like?

[2000] Picnics.

[2001] Not a lot of picnics.

[2002] They didn't like mob scenes like that in a park.

[2003] We had to rent a hall.

[2004] 26 people.

[2005] Do it indoors.

[2006] How many families won?

[2007] Yeah.

[2008] My mom's mom had four kids.

[2009] She was orphaned at a very early age.

[2010] She had four kids, so she wanted to have like a real tight -knit family.

[2011] Four kids, 27 grandchildren, and 45 great -grandchildren.

[2012] She passed away 11 years ago.

[2013] Not a lot of periods in your family.

[2014] Only time.

[2015] Only time.

[2016] The money they saved on Tampax.

[2017] They're probably just super fertile.

[2018] You could probably get them pregnant with her on their periods.

[2019] Yeah, you can.

[2020] My mom had a hysterectomy.

[2021] She's still nervous.

[2022] She's like, I'm not.

[2023] She's walking around.

[2024] That's so crazy.

[2025] That's such a giant number of human beings to come out of a couple of folks.

[2026] Yeah.

[2027] And to keep us all.

[2028] How many other people are going to get bread out of that?

[2029] Yeah, we're good.

[2030] We slowed.

[2031] We slow, because we're 10, and then I only have 10 nieces and nephews.

[2032] Wow.

[2033] But my little sister did just get married, so my add -on.

[2034] Wow.

[2035] That's awesome.

[2036] My aunt, Joy, she had 10 kids, and they have, I think, 15 or 17 nieces and nephew.

[2037] You know what I mean?

[2038] Like, so they did the bigger.

[2039] We did it.

[2040] We're half and half.

[2041] Half of us had kids and half of us didn't.

[2042] Half of us were like, you know what?

[2043] We're going to stop this bloodline.

[2044] Enough.

[2045] Enough.

[2046] No, maybe that's why you don't want kids.

[2047] You just have been around too many people.

[2048] Yeah.

[2049] True.

[2050] It could be those bad decisions I made with dating.

[2051] No, I'm just kidding.

[2052] No, I love kids.

[2053] I do, but I just, I don't know.

[2054] You're like, yeah.

[2055] For my own, for my own, I don't want for me. Like, when I go home, I'm with my nieces and nephews all the time, hang out with them all the time.

[2056] I even had my niece Alexa came out here to live for a little while because she's into producing and editing.

[2057] Like that's just she just graduated college.

[2058] So, you know, like, I'm very close with my kids.

[2059] I call them my kids.

[2060] And, but I just, for myself, I didn't want.

[2061] It makes total sense.

[2062] And also, just the sheer numbers of people you've been around for so long.

[2063] You're like, you're not fucking people.

[2064] Yeah, I can fill that boy.

[2065] Yeah.

[2066] Jesus Christ.

[2067] I mean, I wonder how much of that pull to family is that, you know, to create some bond with people that you're, like, deeply, deeply close to.

[2068] And I wonder if you grow up with so many people like you, if that bond gets, like, drowned out.

[2069] But the way we grew up on that.

[2070] top of each other our bond is tight i mean we are tight i'm not saying that's not get crazy but we are tight oh i could imagine yeah 10 kids growing up in a pile like that i bet if one of you gets in trouble it's a fucking hailstorm yeah we nobody wanted to fight one because you had and i have six brothers so it's like i shared a room with them i stayed in the room with them that's an important thing growing up what boys or people that you yeah like if shit goes down like if it was raining out people would knock on our door like let's go in there it's like a playground That's hilarious There's always something to do in the Carrigan house You know, like it was just insane That's just never going to happen again Yeah, you're right You're right, yeah Now, you know Now that people have two kids and they tag out And that's fine, that's smart Kids aren't running around the street Where it rains out Yeah, you can't, yeah That was my favorite Like we really were outside And that's why kind of with this Pokemon thing I'm excited that people are outside And I was home a couple weeks ago I was watching these kids fight and play in the playground and it was just awesome like I still think certain areas do it LA it doesn't exist well I think that when definitely not walking I mean people in New York walk way more than they walk out here like Ari loves doing sets and then walking home to his apartment it's my favorite thing to do in New York do you really my favorite thing and I've walked from all the way the upper west side all way down like I just go to the gym and then take a cab like a normal person I did do that I did go to the gym natte we go to crunch gym and We kill it.

[2071] And then that night I walk home.

[2072] I do enjoy, like, hiking.

[2073] I do enjoy, like, walking up hills in nature and shit like that.

[2074] I enjoy that.

[2075] But, like, walking around the streets, I'm like, um, this fucking air is tainted.

[2076] But New York, no, it's great.

[2077] Just breathing in brake dust, exhaust fumes, and hoping nobody fucking texts and drives right into you.

[2078] Fuck that.

[2079] Well, you just have to be as alert as if you're driving, walking.

[2080] I've seen a couple people run lights lately.

[2081] It's spooky.

[2082] It's very strange.

[2083] I saw me, we saw a girl get hip, by a car.

[2084] I don't even know how it happened.

[2085] It was like we were in the car.

[2086] A guy was making a left.

[2087] A girl was crossing the street.

[2088] This guy, obviously in the wrong, making the left.

[2089] She was on her phone, but she looked before she crossed.

[2090] He made the left.

[2091] He must have been on his phone.

[2092] And he did, not hard, but like he realized.

[2093] And it was just like she went down like a sack of potatoes.

[2094] And me and my niece were like, oh, my God.

[2095] Oh, my God.

[2096] Like, we just got out to help because we didn't know what.

[2097] How do you not see that?

[2098] How did he not see her?

[2099] how did people sometimes are not fucking paying attention it doesn't make any sense they're just drifting off how many people are just so tired they're like barely paying attention to what they're doing they're just working all day and they're so tired i walk home from the store a lot oh do you yeah you're maniac i try to because the parking the drive if i just have a spot at the store sometimes i'll just or if i do the store in the factory because then you can walk down the street so i mean and a lot of times If I have both, I'll park at the store, walk to the factory, and then walk back.

[2100] Well, Sunset is, if there's going to be a spot, there's like, what else?

[2101] Melrose and Sunset and Santa Monica Boulevard.

[2102] Yeah.

[2103] People walk down there.

[2104] And then people walk on the promenade, that little Santa Monica area.

[2105] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2106] They walk down there.

[2107] Venice, people walk around in Venice.

[2108] But when you walk in Hollywood, people look at you, like, oh, God, what's wrong with her?

[2109] Yeah, just walking around like some hooker.

[2110] I have a car.

[2111] And I am a hooker.

[2112] I have to make extra money.

[2113] Isn't that it is weird?

[2114] Like when you're walking around or driving around in Hollywood, you don't see a lot of people walking.

[2115] No, only on certain areas, like you said, the Hollywood Boulevard, if they're going to Sitesay, whatever.

[2116] I wonder how much that shaped, like, what the personality of people that live in L .A. is.

[2117] The fact that people were in cars early on because the transportation system sucks.

[2118] Oh, yeah, it's terrible.

[2119] But, like, I didn't have a license when I first moved here.

[2120] Right.

[2121] I had no, I mean, I tried to learn how to drive, and I tried to get my sister Karen to take me to get a license, but she missed the accident.

[2122] She got angry.

[2123] Really?

[2124] Yeah.

[2125] She literally was like, I'll kill us all!

[2126] And she drove home.

[2127] I was like, oh my God, anger issues.

[2128] Seriously, I hate you.

[2129] What a bitch.

[2130] Do you ever forgive her?

[2131] I love my sister, yeah.

[2132] Do you bring it up to her every now and then?

[2133] I was on stage and I told that story and she was here with her daughter visiting from Mother's Day.

[2134] And I started to tell the story and I heard her go, oh, this story.

[2135] She was so mad.

[2136] Oh, this story.

[2137] She was my, she taught me how to swim.

[2138] She taught me everything, my sister Karen.

[2139] She's 10 years older, and we look exactly alike.

[2140] Wow.

[2141] It's like the weirdest thing.

[2142] And her daughter, when she came out here, everybody was like, oh, is that your daughter?

[2143] I'm like, no. And they're like, don't lie to us.

[2144] You abandon your kid to come to L .A. I was like, yeah, I'd abandon a kid to do this, right?

[2145] Like, who would do that?

[2146] I would never, no one would do that.

[2147] And he's like, and Dave Taylor was like, you guys have the same overbite.

[2148] I'm like, what do you work for CSI?

[2149] What does that even mean?

[2150] Dave Taylor said that?

[2151] I'm like, she's my niece.

[2152] He's like, no, you gave her up.

[2153] It was gross, being crazy.

[2154] Well, he wasn't the only one.

[2155] He's the only one that said the overbite, that's all.

[2156] But anyway, so, yeah, she's my sister's type.

[2157] But I didn't have a license until two, three years after being here.

[2158] So walking was awful.

[2159] Awful.

[2160] Because you wait for the bus and they just have their own schedule.

[2161] Like I would use to the East Coast where you could take a bus to Boston and come back.

[2162] What kind of fucking characters were you running into a bus?

[2163] on the public transportation system in L .A. So many, one time I remember I got trouble because I was waiting tables at the store and the manager was like, if you're late one more time because I'm always like, it's my thing, whatever.

[2164] My grandma used to yell at us for it.

[2165] I don't know what happens.

[2166] But anyway, so my grandma actually called me, you people.

[2167] I'm like, really?

[2168] People, that's so racist.

[2169] But anyway, so she was like, if you're late one more time.

[2170] So I specifically came, I think, an hour early.

[2171] I could have just walked, but I was waiting for the bus and I was waiting for the bus and I was talking to this black guy he was funny he was like damn a girl like you you should be in a Cadillac and I was like you got one like you know I'm like playing with a you know I like talk to people and he did he had like a you know he had a nice little curl going so I know what he did I tell what he did but is a pimp?

[2172] Yeah it's not my business so I was just talking to him because I was trying to get you to go to work for him No he was literally just talking Then the bus came and as I went to get on the bus they pulled me off the bus two undercover cops they had him on the ground with guns in his face and I'm like what's the and they grabbed my bag she started going through my bag I was like you can't go through my bag I started panicking I was like you can't go through my bag you don't know me and they're like why were you talking to him is he try do you work for him I'm looking at I have a giant oversized gray sweater on black tight it's a comedy store t -shirt I'm like what do I no I'm not working for him see that girl with her pussy hanging out of her courage she's working for him not me like they were on the other side of the street and he's like get down so they're screaming at me and are going through my bag and i'm like you really can't go through my bag like i'm panicked and then uh they just started screaming asking questions did you are is he trying to recruit you do you work for him and he's literally on the ground guns drawn he did nothing to me all he did was say i should be in a Cadillac that was it and so i was like dude you got to calm down this is and i was like i'm going to be late for work and i'm going to get fired and this guy's got guns in his face and I'm worried about my waiting tables at the comedy store.

[2173] So then finally they let him go and I was so pissed and I'm getting my stuff and putting my bag together and I'm like this is bullshit but I was afraid to like talk back to a cop so I was like all it was like inside me and then they were like you want us to drive you to work and I'm like oh yeah that's great you're going to drive me to work and as soon as we pull up I'll tell Mitzie Shore I got picked up for prostitution and that's why I had to get here of late in a...

[2174] How late were you?

[2175] About 15 minutes But Debbie Oh, take the ride Hit the lights No, I did take the ride But Mitsy Wasn't there that night Thank God But Debbie, the manager Did see me get out of a cop car And she's like, what the f She's undercover Undercover waitress That's why she doesn't get fired Even though she's late She's the fuzz, man That's a crazy story Mitsy let me be the boss Because I was always late She's like, okay fine You know that's a crazy story Because it shows people aside of what it's like to be poor and be dealt with by the cops where they know that you can't do anything.

[2176] I could do anything.

[2177] And I was like, you know, and to be honest, I just, I just panicked when they go through your bag or something.

[2178] Everything goes through your head and you're like, what am I packing tonight?

[2179] Am I this?

[2180] Right.

[2181] Like, what am I doing?

[2182] You know, like scared.

[2183] And then, but you have no rights most of the time.

[2184] But that's crazy.

[2185] It's crazy that you don't have any rights.

[2186] I don't think that's legal.

[2187] I know, but if you resist and you fight back, you're going to get hit.

[2188] I've been.

[2189] I've been thrown in the back of a paddy wagon.

[2190] I've tried.

[2191] both ways you can't i've seen guys get beaten oh yeah good friends like like in it just in a nightclub just from resisting and it was a stupid thing we were doing and you know yeah i've seen i've seen both you up yeah yeah well cops are stressed to fuck out a lot of the times too in a bad situation like that like in your situation like obviously it was crazy ridiculous all you're doing is talking to a guy and then you're getting on a bus the fact they grab you like that but how many white girls talk to that guy that aren't working for him and their defense so like for sure this bitch knows him yeah look how comfortable she is with him she's not even freaking out she's got to be a hooker she's hard like she's joking around him you got a Cadillac you got one like they're negotiating terms of their contract he was funny right but they figured if you're talking to a pimp and you're not freaking out yeah for sure there's got to be something wrong with you yeah and i'm not saying he might not get another girl who's like oh this this girl can be molded Her mind can be molded.

[2192] You know, I'm not going to turn tricks.

[2193] Especially with that overbite.

[2194] Right?

[2195] All of a sudden, I feel like my overbite has gotten bigger.

[2196] You know what's weird, right?

[2197] A guy can't take, you couldn't, like, recruit girls and have them do sex for money for him and protect them.

[2198] That's what a pimp does to prostitutes and prostitutes is illegal, right?

[2199] But you could recruit girls to make videos of them having sex.

[2200] Like, you know, you could have.

[2201] If people could even pay you...

[2202] It's not immediate money, though, is it?

[2203] Prostitution's like weight and tape.

[2204] Yeah, it can totally be immediate money.

[2205] If you make people pay...

[2206] Make people pay to have sex with somebody...

[2207] To pay to have sex.

[2208] Oh, I see what you're saying.

[2209] But it's just...

[2210] My point is like...

[2211] I feel like you're helping the pimps right now.

[2212] No, but there's certain pimping that's...

[2213] Like, the word pimping is very strange.

[2214] Like, it's...

[2215] You decide that women are too vulnerable to accept a mentor figure in the strong sexually overcharged black man with the feathers and the gold chains.

[2216] Like that's essentially what they're saying, right, right.

[2217] But if he owns like a brothel in like Nevada or something like that, like that's okay.

[2218] Well, it's less dangerous for the girl -ish -ish and that she could get, yeah.

[2219] I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of it, but I'm like, it is, prostitution's a fucking weird one and pimping is an even weirder one because that guy's not fucking anybody that's where it's even weird he's just got a bunch of friends with money that like to give him money he talks these girls who do stuff that's illegal he does stuff yeah they always did their they always slept with the girls okay but he's not doing anything to get that money right if you're a real pimp I don't think you're doing anything wrong you're sitting back right sitting back you're maxing and relaxing you got furs on convincing you know you got long nails Just show everybody that you can't do work.

[2220] Only one long nail.

[2221] Maybe they have a whole, a lot of those dudes are like pimps up hose down.

[2222] They had many long nails.

[2223] Coke nails.

[2224] Yeah, they had that.

[2225] But there was other, the other nails were substantially long than the average person who works a nine to five job.

[2226] Okay, you're right.

[2227] So they have this whole thing going on.

[2228] What are they doing illegal?

[2229] All they're doing illegal is being a pimp.

[2230] See, the actual act, the illegal act is being done by the woman.

[2231] The woman is a prostitute.

[2232] She is deciding as a grown adult to go out, and have illegal sex with men, and then comes back and brings the money to the pimp, right?

[2233] The pimp did really do anything.

[2234] He just got the girl to give him his money.

[2235] A lot of times these girls are underage, too.

[2236] That's a problem.

[2237] Well, that's a very different story.

[2238] That was the only flattering thing about the story is that the guy thought I was underage.

[2239] Fish shizzle.

[2240] Oh, look at his nails.

[2241] Snoop Dog gets manicures.

[2242] Uh -uh.

[2243] He's fresh.

[2244] They're not that big.

[2245] He's fresh.

[2246] Meanwhile, he's pretty long.

[2247] He's fresh.

[2248] I love Snoop Dog.

[2249] He can do no wrong because what he did the other day is amazing.

[2250] the way he led the it wasn't a protest it was like we're going to go talk to our officials and figure it out how we can make peace how we can do this and that was good because him and the game did it and a lot of people followed yeah Snoop Dogg's very peaceful dude very peaceful very smart man um that nail thing is weird though isn't it yeah even my nail I don't even get manicures sometimes pimps up hose down pimps up hose down is really great yes I used to watch it on repeat with Freddie Soto because we were obsessed with film more slim, I believe, was in.

[2251] Oh, yeah.

[2252] Yeah.

[2253] Yeah, he was slick.

[2254] That's what the guy looked like that was sitting on the bench.

[2255] And I always wondered, was it him?

[2256] It might have been.

[2257] I don't know.

[2258] What year was it?

[2259] Is it in the 90s?

[2260] 93.

[2261] Probably was him.

[2262] Yeah, 93.

[2263] Because that was way before that movie.

[2264] Look, Ice Tea.

[2265] Remember Ice Tea was in it?

[2266] He was in it.

[2267] And Ice Tea went on this long rant about how he is just a pimp and he's not really a rapper.

[2268] I never really been a rapper.

[2269] Yeah.

[2270] And the woman, remember the woman, Big Lett?

[2271] What was her name?

[2272] How about Mr. White folks?

[2273] Remember Mr. White folks?

[2274] There he is right there.

[2275] There he is.

[2276] Go right above the cursor.

[2277] This guy.

[2278] Mr. White folks.

[2279] Mr. White folks.

[2280] Oh my God.

[2281] He was hilarious.

[2282] Why are you reckless eyeballing?

[2283] Yeah.

[2284] Reckless eyeballing.

[2285] Oh, it was crazy this show.

[2286] This documentary was one of my favorites.

[2287] And then the other guy we liked, Fillmore Slim.

[2288] Oh, I just loved how he would come to L .A. He got all his girls got arrested.

[2289] He's like, you thought that was my first track.

[2290] I got another track.

[2291] Quick.

[2292] And he just was on a pay phone.

[2293] He brought in the B team.

[2294] They took out the B team and then he sent the A team down second.

[2295] So y 'all knocked the wrong hose.

[2296] Yeah.

[2297] You knocked the wrong hose.

[2298] Like they were playing.

[2299] I had a busy book and name.

[2300] Watch this.

[2301] I was like, yes, I love this guy.

[2302] They played games.

[2303] We were obsessed with that show, that documentary.

[2304] Obviously, there's sadness to it.

[2305] Like, no one wants a girl to be a prostitute.

[2306] So much sadness to it.

[2307] On both parts, yes.

[2308] But But the girl gets zero percentage.

[2309] That's where I remember learning that.

[2310] And I was like, what?

[2311] Let me ask you this, honestly and truthfully.

[2312] Isn't it, isn't a lot of what's wrong with prostitution, two things.

[2313] One, our idea about it, like our forbidden, like it's forbidden, it's taboo.

[2314] You're not supposed to get money for sex.

[2315] And two, the fact that it's illegal.

[2316] Because if it was legal, oh, God.

[2317] The same, probably the same amount of people would be doing it.

[2318] no more don't you think I think it would be more I think it would be more I think it would be more I mean same amount of people would be doing prostitution or going to prostitutes I'm saying doing prostitution I'm saying doing prostitution They just would be busier It would be busier It would be the same people Like Heidi Flecy I did that wrong But you know what I mean It'd probably be more people Because I know a lot of girls That would do it if it was legal You know I know Kim Kong then would be up there Oh leave my Kim alone How dare you How dare you?

[2319] sweet Kim, but I would be working side by side with Kim is what I'm saying.

[2320] See, if it was legal, I think it would be, if it was accepted, you know, and legal, I think it would definitely more people would do it, you know?

[2321] I think if I was a girl, I would definitely fuck guys that I would attract it to for money.

[2322] Well, sometimes...

[2323] If I was attracted to a guy, and he, you know, and he was like, look, I don't want a relationship, but I'll give you two grand if you.

[2324] Sometimes I've had sex with a guy, and then, like, even...

[2325] You're sick.

[2326] even in a relationship one time I remember like getting an argument with my boyfriend because after we had sex he gave me money and I was like inappropriate and he was like what but it was for something like he's like oh you're going to go get this today I forget what it was I don't know if it was something for me I forget what it was but it was money yeah and I was like am a prostitute like when he left I was like oh that that didn't feel that bad I'm like do this more off if you really like the guy I was kidding but we were in a relationship but it was just a weird moment Like, I was like, oh.

[2327] Right.

[2328] But I'm saying if you really love the guy, like, you'd get two things you like, dick and then money.

[2329] I don't, yeah.

[2330] And that's that order, usually.

[2331] I mean, like, people get paid for jobs that they love.

[2332] Yeah.

[2333] Or people get paid for jobs that they hate.

[2334] Yeah.

[2335] How about getting paid for one they love?

[2336] Yeah, like movie stars get paid.

[2337] Yeah.

[2338] They get paid for being movies.

[2339] Then they enjoy it.

[2340] They love it.

[2341] They're out there acting.

[2342] Explosions going on.

[2343] Get more with a tit out.

[2344] Yeah.

[2345] Let's do it.

[2346] Whoa.

[2347] I'm sorry.

[2348] That's where I brought it.

[2349] Come on.

[2350] I'm just excited.

[2351] Come on now, I'm excited we're going to rally to make this legal so that Kim and I have something to do.

[2352] It's eventually going to be legal.

[2353] You know what's interesting?

[2354] It might turn to be like a virtual thing before it becomes legal.

[2355] If what, you know, I've been thinking about what you were saying about the porn, the virtual porn with the heads that's on, being so interactive and immersive.

[2356] I'm like, yeah, of course.

[2357] That's just what's going to happen.

[2358] They're just going to figure out a way to make it, they're going to figure out a way to stimulate your body.

[2359] Like, that's the only thing that's missing.

[2360] Yeah.

[2361] Like once they stimulate your mind, maybe they'll be able to be able to.

[2362] put you in some sort of a trance where you feel like it's stimulating your body we're already in a trance i was looking at some thing that they're selling really recently god i'm trying to remember this because i saved it but i didn't read it but it was talking about some new device that's able to stimulate certain areas of the mind from from the outside of your head like they did a whole um episode of radio lab about this sort of technology a long time ago i want to say like two years ago maybe and it was really interesting because it was about um how they stimulate different parts of your scalp and through doing so it allows you to remember and learn things way quicker through electricity maybe this is it nine volt nirvana is the episode on radio lab if you guys have never listened to radio lab it's fucking awesome it's one of the best podcasts in the world and uh it's it's really interesting and this is like one of my favorite episodes because it's about this girl she this is how it starts off.

[2363] She works for this.

[2364] I should say woman.

[2365] She's a woman.

[2366] She has a good job.

[2367] She's educated.

[2368] Okay.

[2369] I'm sure.

[2370] She's not a child.

[2371] I'm not good.

[2372] I say girl, boy for adults all the time, and I should fix that.

[2373] You're right.

[2374] Yeah, who cares?

[2375] This is a nine -fold battery.

[2376] Yeah, so she went there to this place that trained snipers, this sniper skills thing.

[2377] And what it is is a video game, a virtual reality thing.

[2378] So you put on the headset or, you know, they take her through thing with a gun, and she shoots at all the different targets and all these different events happen in front of her.

[2379] And when it plays out, after it's over, they tally up her score.

[2380] So she does that in a normal way, and then they stimulate the outside areas of her brain.

[2381] She goes in, it's supposed to be 20 minutes, they end it, and she goes, why did you guys end it so quick?

[2382] And they go, that was 20 minutes.

[2383] And she's like, what?

[2384] And then she hit every target.

[2385] Wow.

[2386] She went from being completely ineffective to being like a fucking world -class sniper by just them jazzing her brain up.

[2387] And she went into the zone where she didn't even know she was doing it.

[2388] So think about that.

[2389] She had never done this before.

[2390] She sucked at it just a few minutes ago.

[2391] They put these electrodes on her head.

[2392] They give it to her.

[2393] And then all of a sudden she's like, she's like a super soldier.

[2394] Is there any science to that?

[2395] I mean, is there somebody that's tested this?

[2396] Because why aren't we all just putting 9 -volt batteries on her heads?

[2397] Well, they are testing it.

[2398] It's called...

[2399] What is the actual term transdermal electrical stimulation?

[2400] Transdermal cranial...

[2401] I have some 9 -volt batteries at home.

[2402] I'm going to try it.

[2403] Hold on a second.

[2404] I lost the word.

[2405] Say it again?

[2406] Say it again?

[2407] Direct current stimulation.

[2408] That sounds right.

[2409] Yeah.

[2410] So this is apparently...

[2411] There's a lot of guys who hack themselves, and they make their own little things with 9 -volt batteries and shit that you could buy from Radio Shack, and they just slap a little electrodes on their head.

[2412] and zap themselves.

[2413] Like a do -it -yourself.

[2414] Sometimes it kills their sense of smell for a week.

[2415] Oh, shit.

[2416] Oh, I cooked my sense of smell today, dude.

[2417] Like, this is, I'm not joking.

[2418] That's awful.

[2419] But they get benefits out of it, too.

[2420] Like, people are, they're reporting benefits out of it.

[2421] They, like, find, like, a spot on the body, or the brain, rather, where they can hit it from the outside and it makes some sort of an impact.

[2422] Damn.

[2423] Well, you think about your skull, right?

[2424] Think about your skin and your skull.

[2425] If somebody shaved a part of your head and attached some shit to the side of your head, and then shot electricity into that area.

[2426] Like, your brain's going to be affected by that.

[2427] I mean, it's right there.

[2428] It's, like, pounded on the outside of the brain.

[2429] There's got to be some of it that's going through, right?

[2430] There's got to be some energy that's going through.

[2431] And that brain's like, boom, I know Kung Fu.

[2432] Oh.

[2433] Like in the Matrix?

[2434] It's interesting.

[2435] Like, maybe even, like, you could put, like, watch batteries on a molar, so there has to be, like, another way to put it in.

[2436] You're having a skull cap that has, like, a battery attached to it that you can just wear every day or something.

[2437] Yeah, something like that, I guess.

[2438] This is exactly it.

[2439] Go, scroll back up, please.

[2440] Scroll back up.

[2441] I've seen this.

[2442] What is it?

[2443] Hold on, stop.

[2444] Folk dot, hold on.

[2445] Hold on.

[2446] What is it doing?

[2447] Is it spazzing on you?

[2448] We've got to get a new laptop, huh?

[2449] Uh -huh.

[2450] Things get old.

[2451] Uh, folk.

[2452] Dot Us, Transcranial, direct current stimulation headset helps get your game on.

[2453] Wait a minute.

[2454] Let me pause right here.

[2455] Speaking of a game on.

[2456] I'm done filming my spaschel, so.

[2457] we gotta get a fucking land party going on up in this bitch Now that Quake is out I go yeah I talk to the Razor people They're gonna hook us up with some Some gaming laptop Oh you mean putting Quake back out right Quake is coming back out This is the Quake champions Or something it's called I think It looks badass You mean Razor the best PCs You can buy Yeah Well they have Wait Razors a PC Well they uh It's interesting like I told you that I was One of the people that helped them designed their mouse in the late 90s.

[2458] Me and my friend Lou Morton who's one of the writers of news radio who's a super smart dude and a fucking total quake head back in the day he was way better than me. He used to beat my ass like I meant where I beat his ass one time I was so happy who most of the time he fucked me up.

[2459] He was just better at quake Quake was this crazy 3D video game.

[2460] This is it right here this is the newest version of it.

[2461] Okay.

[2462] And you play in the first person and it is fucking the new ones are unbelievably like the graphics are insane like look at this I mean and the in -game footage of them actually playing the game is just magical look at this shit oh come on why real life fuck real life yeah real life suck my dick look at this way better than real life you don't have any kids yeah you can't they're pretend oh okay whoa see that someone shot the uh oh my goodness Eleanor, you would be so aggressive with this.

[2463] Yeah, because I know you, like, you're so aggressive.

[2464] And I can't.

[2465] Well, people don't know.

[2466] We haven't told them yet.

[2467] There you are.

[2468] Ooh, that's Holly Barrett.

[2469] Yeah.

[2470] I want to be her.

[2471] When's this come out?

[2472] Look at these things.

[2473] I think it's out, man. This is out?

[2474] Look at this.

[2475] So this was an old game you used to play that is now, obviously.

[2476] They've significantly upgraded the graphics.

[2477] I mean, this is not really the game itself.

[2478] This is just the video game engine, though, that the game is based on.

[2479] So this is similar So violent It's similar to the Some of it is like in -game real footage Watch this Dude stabbed him with a fucking Chainsaw -in -hand How about that?

[2480] How great would that be if you had that in real life?

[2481] It'd be mean Don't do that people When is that out young Jamie?

[2482] They just announced I would guess next year Yeah just announced a set E3 And this is a big kind of announcement God damn, that looks awesome.

[2483] They're going to announce more in August about it, so they don't even know yet.

[2484] Oh, cool.

[2485] There's that, and then there's Doom, which is out.

[2486] Yeah.

[2487] And that's what we're going to have the Land Party plan.

[2488] There's a new Doom that's based on, I think it's the same engine.

[2489] It is fucking awesome.

[2490] So when you say you have a, what are you saying you're going to have?

[2491] A land?

[2492] Oh, local area network.

[2493] Land party.

[2494] A local area network party is you get a bunch of computers, you link them all together so that you have zero ping so there's no latency what that means is like when you play a game online like at least in the older games they're getting way better at it now and internet speeds are way higher anyway but when you would press a button like try to shoot there was a delay between the time that the signal got to the server that's hosting the game and if you were real lucky you had like a low ping like guys had like a 30 ping or a 20 ping you're like whoa the guys got an awesome ping like then it got even lower some guys got cable modems and shit and it got down like 10 and if you were local though there was zero Ping.

[2495] So if we were all together and we were playing in this room, we would play against each other in this crazy 3D environment like this.

[2496] This is what we would see.

[2497] I miss doing lawn parties.

[2498] This is real in -game footage.

[2499] Wow.

[2500] I mean, the in -game footage is fucking amazing.

[2501] Look at this.

[2502] This is all in -game footage.

[2503] That's cool.

[2504] And then some of it's not.

[2505] Some of us are mixing up, but it's dope.

[2506] I played like a weird game with my niece, I don't remember what it was, but there was four of us connected on the iPads.

[2507] Oh yeah, people do that.

[2508] I'm not sure what that.

[2509] I don't remember what that was.

[2510] It was a tablet.

[2511] Yeah, yeah.

[2512] Well, they're probably doing that with Pokemon's, right?

[2513] Kind of, yeah.

[2514] I mean, it's not direct, direct person to person yet.

[2515] It's so weird.

[2516] Yeah, but it was cool.

[2517] I was like, wait, we're all connected.

[2518] Like the idiot.

[2519] Well, this is what they're going to do, man. They're going to have these things, like these video games like Doom, and they're going to have those 3D, like virtual reality sets.

[2520] And you're going to be playing these things out there in the real world.

[2521] That's when people are going to start getting run over.

[2522] I'm going to play in the real world.

[2523] There's a, I just like to fight for real.

[2524] They're driving people around, like Uber service for Pokemon right now.

[2525] Oh, my God.

[2526] Craig's just adds up.

[2527] I'll drive you anywhere you want to go for $30.

[2528] I take Uber every day, and that's one of the greatest benefits now that.

[2529] Because usually you're just sitting in the back of an Uber going, God, hurry up.

[2530] But now I was just collecting Pokemon's on the way to the comedy store and back.

[2531] So do you tell the guy, hey, pull over, I got to get a Pokemon.

[2532] No, but there was a few times where I was like, I almost wanted to say, hey, can you just go slow right here for a second?

[2533] So as you go slow, it would pick up the fact that you were there?

[2534] Yeah, it's easier to go, if you're going slow, it's easier to get things.

[2535] I thought I heard that you can't do it over 30 miles an hour.

[2536] Like it has some sort of...

[2537] You can.

[2538] It doesn't work.

[2539] It's harder to do.

[2540] Like you can't, like when you can't do your GPS.

[2541] Oh, you're the driver, you can't be doing this while you're moving.

[2542] Right.

[2543] But you say you're the passenger.

[2544] Say, shut up, mind your business.

[2545] They're probably going to have to change because I feel like a lot of people are going to die and get in car accidents and there's going to be a lot of lawsuits.

[2546] So I have a feeling in the near future, they're probably going to make it.

[2547] So if it detects that you're going a certain speed, it's just not going to let you do anything.

[2548] Did you get laid playing Pokemon Go?

[2549] Pokemon Go is great for my mental health.

[2550] I also got laid.

[2551] Oh.

[2552] Pokemon got me laid.

[2553] I just got laid by telling my girl I had to go inside her to catch a Pikachu in Pokemon, used her as a pokey ball for the electric Pokemon.

[2554] Pokemon Go?

[2555] Popamongo.

[2556] Jesus Christ.

[2557] That's hilarious.

[2558] What was Pokemon in the beginning?

[2559] Like, I can't even...

[2560] I don't know anything.

[2561] It's Japanese for Pocket Monster, Invisible Monster or something.

[2562] I think it's invisible Monster.

[2563] But was it a cartoon or something?

[2564] Yeah.

[2565] It's a cartoon, and then it became a very successful line of video games for kids on Nintendo and Game Boys and stuff like that.

[2566] But it was really all just preparing itself for this monstrous thing.

[2567] For this moment.

[2568] But it brought it up.

[2569] I mean, it was dying out, so that's...

[2570] I should have worn my piece.

[2571] Pikachu outfit today.

[2572] I'm so happy it didn't raise the stock.

[2573] Would you say like $9 billion or something crazy?

[2574] Yeah, $9 .11.

[2575] I just saw something else that said $1.

[2576] No, it went up already.

[2577] Stocks are just...

[2578] Like, it's just going to have all the money.

[2579] Should we buy stock in it?

[2580] Nintendo has been hurting for a while, too, since of Xbox and PlayStation, and this is the exact thing they needed.

[2581] This sounds like they just made a money printing machine.

[2582] That's insane.

[2583] I don't know where the money comes in, though, because it's a free game.

[2584] No, you can buy things in it.

[2585] Like, that thing that you put, down on the ground that attracts Pokemon those things cost money also just the potential the potential the connection that you're having if you all of a sudden created an app that beats Twitter Twitter's been around forever if you come up with something that can beat Twitter like that you could figure out how to make money on it oh my gosh Snapchat just did that I say this but hasn't Twitter had that same exact problem they've had a problem like monetizing now yeah yeah Snapchat just surpassed Twitter and I think Twitter is on this way way out, honestly.

[2586] Oh, my God.

[2587] I could see how Pokemon could set up, they could set up, like, stops where, like, you could, like, have places that were places of business, and you could pay to have that a stop, and people have to go in, and then a certain amount of people would just buy things there anyway.

[2588] But then you'd deal with a lot of fucking nutty people showing up your ice cream store.

[2589] Yeah.

[2590] But now, wait, Twitter's on the way out?

[2591] I just learned how to tweet.

[2592] Welcome.

[2593] That's, like, 15 years old.

[2594] I quit.

[2595] I can't.

[2596] I didn't even join Snapchat.

[2597] Snapchat clit, whatever it's called.

[2598] I tried to get all of my different possible names.

[2599] I mean, Snapchat is a, someone snatched up.

[2600] Yeah, it's impossible.

[2601] But I don't really, I'm not really on Snapchat.

[2602] I'm only on Snapchat to use the filters.

[2603] To make, uh, to make fun.

[2604] I like that porn on there is so great.

[2605] Like, people send me some, some great porn.

[2606] I'm not going to say who, but this MMA fighter that he's a comedian also.

[2607] Easy.

[2608] He just outed him.

[2609] He has a different girl every, night that he sends me like just snaps of him fucking and i've seen him his dick more than i went to but like he's sending him directly to you on purpose yeah so it goes directly to you he's great uh but no the porn is great though on there because a lot of girls use it uh a lot of porn stars and stuff like that use it like hey if you give me so many tokens or whatever you can get my snapchat so then in their snapchats they're just like full on nudity because snap tokens jamie i don't this is correct, but isn't Snapchat owned by a porn company like Porn Hub or somebody, a famous porn company started Snapchat because they originally wanted to say no?

[2610] They originally wanted to have it as an app where you can show your dick and it goes away in 10 seconds.

[2611] But I swear to guys, somebody told me that Porn Hub is the...

[2612] The dude who started, it's only 26.

[2613] I don't know that he also is involved in porn his whole life.

[2614] How dare you, Brian?

[2615] Somebody got my hopes up.

[2616] Somebody told me this.

[2617] It could be his early investors for foreign people.

[2618] You're saying somebody told me this as if you're shocked that people are retarded.

[2619] Like somebody told me this.

[2620] A person.

[2621] I can't believe it wasn't true.

[2622] Well, people could definitely get it wrong, you know.

[2623] Yeah.

[2624] That's funny.

[2625] Somebody was, whoever told me, it was very sure that, I was like, because I was shocked.

[2626] Yeah, they were probably on Coke.

[2627] They were coked up, and they were telling you the truth.

[2628] I'm telling you, bro.

[2629] This is it, man. I know my shit.

[2630] Eleanor, what happened that pro wrestling thing you were going out for recently?

[2631] Okay, it was a script that's just, they haven't started casting yet.

[2632] They just put out calls for, yes, two days ago.

[2633] or something like that.

[2634] People probably don't even know.

[2635] But Eleanor was one of the women of wrestling.

[2636] Wow, women of wrestling.

[2637] Easy.

[2638] Rider.

[2639] She used to crush pool balls and to scare her enemies.

[2640] It was hilarious.

[2641] That was my favorite video to make.

[2642] Like, just to hit people and then to crush the ball, I had so much.

[2643] I must have crushed like 30 balls that day just for fun.

[2644] You're the only person that I knew before they did pro wrestling that I wanted to see them do pro wrestling.

[2645] I remember you came.

[2646] Dom came.

[2647] Yeah, we had a great time.

[2648] We brought a giant stack of people to the store, or from the store, rather.

[2649] Oh, who did you get?

[2650] Which one did you get?

[2651] There she is talking trash.

[2652] How long did you do this for?

[2653] It was on for two, see.

[2654] That was Maria and Julia Razzie's a comic, and Maria, I forget her last name, but they were easy rider fans.

[2655] How embarrassing.

[2656] Look at this.

[2657] Watch.

[2658] Oh, boy.

[2659] Mic drop.

[2660] Oh, shit.

[2661] That was when we broke Selena's a hospital.

[2662] leg remember yeah and didn't you did someone break their leg accidentally Selena no she did and hurt her leg she pulled the muscle yeah doing she pulled a muscle or something so there she is pulling a muscle yeah she had the brace the knee brace she had something going on I can't remember yeah I mean it was part of the story mostly strong mullet good lord she was our trainer and she is amazing and so was the big lady that's with me thug we did this for two seasons.

[2663] Wow.

[2664] It got canceled because we did a pay -per -view.

[2665] I can't look at that.

[2666] And they didn't make any money?

[2667] Yeah, it didn't make any money.

[2668] And it wasn't just doing well.

[2669] It just wasn't doing that well in the ratings.

[2670] But David McLean, the guy, the producer, he's bringing it back and he's putting it a digital, and I'm going to be an announcer.

[2671] Oh, really?

[2672] Yeah.

[2673] So obviously, I'm not going to let them throw me around.

[2674] I could break a hip lately.

[2675] But I still love it because they trained us to be professional stunt women.

[2676] You know?

[2677] Oh, this is hilarious.

[2678] Well, it was really physical.

[2679] Yeah.

[2680] She hit me with a chair and I broke my pinky.

[2681] What was the one girl that was supposed to be like the Baywatch girl?

[2682] Oh, there was two of them.

[2683] There was a bunch of different characters.

[2684] Like Compton girls.

[2685] They were a little racy.

[2686] All the stereotypes.

[2687] There was one girl was, God, I can't have her stage name, but she basically played basketball.

[2688] Slam dunk.

[2689] That was what they called her.

[2690] Slam dunk.

[2691] I knew it was something silly.

[2692] And meanwhile, she's in a name.

[2693] She's an amazing athlete, and she still, I don't know if she's coming back for this one, but Jungle Girl, Erica Porter, she runs a gym.

[2694] Jungle Girl.

[2695] There's a slam dunk, yeah.

[2696] Her name is Jungle Girl?

[2697] Jungle Girl was one of the other characters, but she's, that shit is not going to fly today.

[2698] That's Bronco Billy.

[2699] Lisa Danielle.

[2700] She's beautiful.

[2701] She's great.

[2702] She's from Baltimore, but where are the summer?

[2703] Look at that.

[2704] Look at that mullet.

[2705] Yeah, there was summer.

[2706] There was a bunch of different characters.

[2707] Selena Majors.

[2708] Jeez, Louise.

[2709] A long time ago, in the early 90s, I believe, or late 80s, there was a show called Glow, gorgeous ladies of wrestling, and that was the same producer.

[2710] And they're the ones that have a script out called Glow, and Netflix bought it.

[2711] K. That's not racist.

[2712] Property of the state.

[2713] What does it say?

[2714] State prison.

[2715] Yes.

[2716] Oh, my God.

[2717] Property of the state prison.

[2718] These is girls in orange jumpsuits.

[2719] Every one of those girls are so talented, like great athlete, amazing stunt.

[2720] they really are strong.

[2721] So they did it for two years.

[2722] We did it for two years, yeah.

[2723] And how many shows?

[2724] Like, how many shows a year would you do?

[2725] We did.

[2726] That must be the new cast.

[2727] That must be the newer one.

[2728] Yeah, because there's Lana and all the girls.

[2729] Erica Porter's so strong.

[2730] I love her.

[2731] And Elle, her name was Danger.

[2732] She's like a professional stunt person that does movies, everything.

[2733] But yeah, so we did, I forget how many shows, but it was at the forum, which was amazing in Englewood.

[2734] Yeah.

[2735] So we would train at the forum and we'd be running around jogging.

[2736] And Michael Cooper would be, he was the coach of the Sparks at the time.

[2737] So like Lisa Leslie and that would be down there.

[2738] We did the UFC there recently.

[2739] Oh, that's awesome.

[2740] Isn't it such a great place?

[2741] I mean, it's a giant facility.

[2742] It's amazing.

[2743] And then on the walls it has all the different people that have played there every year.

[2744] Yeah.

[2745] And how many times they played.

[2746] Was my name up there?

[2747] Weird.

[2748] No. No. I think Dice's name was up there, though.

[2749] Oh, yeah.

[2750] Dice did the forum.

[2751] That's right.

[2752] Yeah, it was filled with, like, legendary musicians, though.

[2753] When you're walking down the hall and you're, like, reading, like, how many times Queen was there.

[2754] Yeah.

[2755] Yeah, it's amazing.

[2756] That's a great spot.

[2757] I mean, I was honored to be, yeah.

[2758] That's all from my Instagram, Stevie Wonder, Dooley Brothers.

[2759] Easy Rider, Alice Cooper.

[2760] The kinks.

[2761] It's crazy.

[2762] And that's just, this is, like, Elton John, four times in a year.

[2763] Caching!

[2764] Just crazy David Bowie Man Wild shit It's just those places are so interesting to me Because Like these old old venues They're almost like a museum as well As being like a place where you see a show Yeah Yeah I mean so much went on in that place So many you could feel it Even being in there during the day Like I was so honored I know just wrestling whatever but it was a big deal to me like to be a part of that well that's one of the reasons why i think like the comedy store has to get some sort of historic designation they should we've tried to get that i remember doing it should happen because that that place is like historic it's like a museum i mean it really is i mean from the pictures on the walls to just the feel of the place and how important that is for one particular art form you know that place is like a fucking museum like a living breathing awesome you can go to it right now museum i feel like we tried to get it as a landmark or something like that but it didn't work because there's too many bodies underneath something like like the chinese theater like wouldn't you think that that place it needs to stay around yeah man's chinese theater that's historic right yeah considered it i would imagine it should be it has to be they should try to do it before uh mitzi passes because so it can't get torn down well that but that was the whole thing yeah like when i was her personal assistant we tried to get all kinds of stuff like that done because there was like they were coming after us for different things like not being up to date on certain codes laws and things and then we were grandfathered in from a lot of them and we got away with a lot of them so it was like weird but i remember trying to get that and i don't know if they ever followed through with that i'll have to find that out check it out but they definitely should you're right yeah it's obviously because it was there way longer than zeros seros was a hot spot in the back in the day That was like where Lucille Ball hung and all that Like the main room that was a big deal to Hollywood too But I don't know how long that was open Maybe only Five eight years Ten years maybe Yeah but there's so many pictures of like Marilyn Monroe And all these people It should be historic Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah Frank Sinatra They would play there on the weekend Like a regular thing But with that logic Then it should have never been allowed to become a comedy store That's what I'm saying I'm not sure what the etiquette it is.

[2765] I don't remember what that part.

[2766] Yeah, how long was it, Ceros?

[2767] I'll have to figure that out.

[2768] That's too long, I don't think.

[2769] Couldn't have been nearly as long as it was the store, right?

[2770] No, no, no, no. But when she, she got the original room first, right?

[2771] And then she bought the main room later.

[2772] So when she bought the main room, what she bought it for was she loved that Cereos thing, that vibe, you know, like that big bands and stuff like that.

[2773] So she would have Buddy Rich on the weekends at the comedy store playing, like a big, his band and i remember like dice going um 17 years oh shoot yeah opened in 1940 closed in 1947 hmm transformed to a rock and roll club in the early 60s called the boss what was the guy's name oh it's boss became the comedy store in 19702 he was a dj look at that fucking neon sign look how cool that is yeah we have that wow we have the neon sign i think so where in the basement holy shit i was in the basement the other day that's got to be worth that's where we do the Comedy Store podcast in the basement.

[2774] They have that thing there?

[2775] I didn't see that in there.

[2776] Maybe I'm thinking of the big round one.

[2777] We have a little in the kitchen.

[2778] The big round one from the kitchen is amazing.

[2779] Yeah.

[2780] All that was in the basement when she bought it from the DJ.

[2781] What was the DJ's name?

[2782] I can't hear of his name.

[2783] He ran the main room.

[2784] He owned that.

[2785] She bought it from him.

[2786] That's incredible.

[2787] Yeah.

[2788] And that was 78 or I'm sorry, that's 72.

[2789] And then, yeah, around there.

[2790] like 76, 76 maybe.

[2791] Wow.

[2792] She bought the main room.

[2793] And that became, it was just a weird, like, four years.

[2794] Such an awesome piece of history.

[2795] Yeah.

[2796] You know, like, there's just a few spots like that in, uh, in all of, like, entertainment where all so many things were created out of that one area.

[2797] Yeah.

[2798] You know, I mean, it's not like a whole lot of those spots.

[2799] Like, they're important.

[2800] She wanted me to help her write a book.

[2801] And I was thinking, wow.

[2802] Mitzi wanted me to help her write a book.

[2803] And I was like, wow, that would be so amazing.

[2804] I can't barely read a book.

[2805] but I'll try because I was still into the comedy store and then she um what she really wanted to make was like a coffee table book from um all the stuff in Vegas so because Vegas she did go there in the Dune's Hotel for a while and yeah yeah there were some great footage pictures she has audio well they used to have Westwood too Westwood was a big one apparently that was all before my time but um Westwood apparently was where guys would develop so like they sent Kinnis in those guys would guys down there, they would develop at Westwood, and then they would come over to Hollywood once they'd already got their feet under them.

[2806] Yep.

[2807] Yeah, Dice has a lot of stories.

[2808] Ronnie Kenny, all those older guys I would talk to, they would always tell Westwood stories.

[2809] I'd be like, what?

[2810] What are you talking about?

[2811] But it was cool.

[2812] There it is.

[2813] Comedy Store West.

[2814] Wow.

[2815] That's so cool.

[2816] Look at Jay Leno.

[2817] He looks so fresh.

[2818] Look at them.

[2819] Look how cute myths is.

[2820] Who are the other guys?

[2821] Good question.

[2822] I'm going to have to look.

[2823] Looks like Billy Is that Rick Wright?

[2824] Billy, he was just on Mark Maren's podcast.

[2825] Billy, uh.

[2826] Billy West?

[2827] This little, the skinnier guy.

[2828] I can't think of his name.

[2829] He did a cartoon.

[2830] Billy West?

[2831] No?

[2832] You already asked that.

[2833] I asked it again.

[2834] Maybe she didn't hear.

[2835] Look at Robin Williams.

[2836] Oh, he's doing Dauphin Golf.

[2837] He's so cute.

[2838] Man. Nanu.

[2839] And then, of course, La Jolla, which is real similar as well.

[2840] It's just a strange place.

[2841] that people get sent down there, like, that are guys that are coming up.

[2842] I got lucky.

[2843] It's an awesome club.

[2844] With Tommy booking me in La Jolla a lot to develop when I first started, like sending me down as an opener.

[2845] And I'm just so broke.

[2846] I was like, yeah, I'll take, you know, like, it was exciting.

[2847] It was like 700 bucks just host for the weekend.

[2848] You're like, this is awesome.

[2849] And so, yeah, I go down a lot.

[2850] So I got like, I felt in love with that club.

[2851] As a comic, yeah.

[2852] And the condo.

[2853] Nick DiPaulo did a comedy special there Or a CD He did one of his CDs there One of my favorites One time I was a talent coordinator For a week because Mitzie was going crazy And like people were quitting Whatever there was nonsense happening So she was like I need somebody in there So I was taking a vails and stuff And I noticed that Nick DePollo didn't call in This is when you just live in L .A So I called him and I'm like hey do you have any Vails this week?

[2854] He goes I call in if I have a vails you don't call me and he hung up on me I'm so mad I was like to ball for you yeah but those are my favorite comics I would call them and see you.

[2855] Eleanor where are you at next because I got to close this thing out okay let's close it up I am at the La Jolla comedy store July 22nd and the 23rd and then I'm doing July 30th with dice at the Ford Amphitheater and Cody Island that's going to be a big one I'm excited to be featuring for them there dice and Coney Island Coney Island amphitheater Wow but La Jolla I'm excited at the 22nd, 23rd.

[2856] Beautiful.

[2857] Who are you working with down there?

[2858] I'm headlining.

[2859] But I mean who you work with?

[2860] Gene Pampa was on the show.

[2861] And I forget who else.

[2862] It's terrible.

[2863] I don't know who's up, but I love Jean Pompa.

[2864] Headlining at the Comedy Store in the Hoyer.

[2865] I love it.

[2866] That's awesome.

[2867] Congratulations.

[2868] Very exciting.

[2869] All right, folks, that's it.

[2870] If you want to get a hold of Eleanor and send her pictures of your dick.

[2871] Oh, yeah, and listen to the Comedy Store podcast.

[2872] Yes, listen to the Comedy Store podcast.

[2873] And what's your Twitter?

[2874] E .J. Kerrigan.

[2875] And Instagram, do you got an Instagram?

[2876] Yeah, same thing, E .J. Kerrigan or Eleanor Kerrigan.

[2877] Eleanor J. Kerrigan is my website.

[2878] And Brian Redband, Redband on Twitter and Instagram and DeathSquod