Padma Lakshmi

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Miles.

[3] Hi.

[4] Hi there.

[5] Guess what?

[6] What?

[7] I can't say anything yet, I don't think, but I'm doing, I'm going to do a project next week that has to do with miniatures.

[8] Minut.

[9] And that's all we can say, miniatures.

[10] I think that's all I'm comfortable saying right now.

[11] Just a tease.

[12] This is like a six -month -out tease.

[13] Yeah.

[14] I'm so excited to watch you interact with that miniature stuff.

[15] yet unidentified stuff.

[16] We do.

[17] I had a different idea, as you recall, because I knew you were doing this project involving miniature stuff.

[18] And I said, it would almost be more fun to have you doing a project where you're handling maximum stuff so that you look preposterously small.

[19] Extra miniature.

[20] Because, like, I'm worried that the miniature stuff's going to look full size when you're handling it.

[21] That's a worry.

[22] Yeah.

[23] That's one of the fears.

[24] Like, your instinct as a show creator is like, well, we need a miniature person.

[25] Yeah.

[26] I don't, okay, I don't want them to, yeah.

[27] Although, wouldn't it be too late?

[28] No, they'll still have time.

[29] Okay.

[30] Well, let's hope they don't listen to the show.

[31] They love the show.

[32] Oh, fuck.

[33] Okay.

[34] We have an amazing woman on today, Padma Lakshmi.

[35] She is an Emmy nominated food expert, a television host, a producer, and a New York Times bestselling author.

[36] Incredibly fascinating life.

[37] Very.

[38] We had so much fun talking to her.

[39] And she has a new book out called Tomatoes for Nila, which is this, adorable story about teaching a little girl grandma's recipe so so cute and we have a really fun fact check we have a reunion oh yeah stay tuned for a race of 270 reunion in the fackie yes it's gonna be what 95 minutes long the fact check no like 45 okay it'll be a nice wopper for everyone in case you have that long commute on thursday yeah uh so please enjoy padma lukshmi wondery plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now Now, join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[40] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[41] He's an I'm a chance man. Hello.

[42] Hi.

[43] Can you hear us?

[44] Yes, I can hear you.

[45] That's kind of a requirement for this to work.

[46] Yes, exactly.

[47] You must be, Monica.

[48] I am.

[49] Hi.

[50] Hi, nice to meet you both.

[51] So nice to meet you.

[52] We're so excited.

[53] about this.

[54] This is kind of a flex, I just want to say.

[55] I'm going to point out all the books in the background, a little bit of a brain flex.

[56] I'm intimidated, yeah.

[57] Yeah, I like it, though.

[58] It's a good kind of flex.

[59] Is it?

[60] Thank you.

[61] What percentage of books on that shelf have you read?

[62] 100?

[63] Probably a good 75.

[64] Like, there are some that I haven't read.

[65] Like, the bookshelf goes way up.

[66] Oh.

[67] Oh, my, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[68] You see those books on the upper left side.

[69] Those are just a collected selection of Joseph Conrad's.

[70] I inherited those books.

[71] So I have read some Conrad, but I haven't read all of those books.

[72] Conrad's Hearts of Darkness, is that?

[73] Yes, exactly.

[74] Heart of Darkness, Outcast of the Islands, yeah.

[75] Are you a fan of Conrad?

[76] I've not read Heart of Darkness.

[77] That was obvious when I pluralized hearts.

[78] I am a fan of Conrad.

[79] I think it can be problematic, because it was written in the time it was, but I still think that in spite of all of the colonialism and patriarchy, which it is completely rampant with, the writing is so exquisite.

[80] The way that he can write a sentence is still so heartbreaking in its genius, that it's still worthy, like good writers are good writers.

[81] I mean, there are many good writers who are assholes, but that still doesn't change the fact that they're great writers.

[82] You know, as you say this, it makes me think of an aspect of this ongoing conversation that I don't think I've really even thought of yet.

[83] There's so many layers.

[84] One of the layers is, yes, that person's writing in a time period.

[85] They're swimming in the water.

[86] I think it's wonderful that we recognize how flawed we were living and how we're getting hopefully better, but doing that without any judgment of like, I'm a better person.

[87] Because all of us in that water would behave that way.

[88] No one in the 1700s was writing the way we think now in the 21st century.

[89] That's correct, because writing has its own trends and goes through its own evolution, as does the rest of our culture.

[90] And so many of us would not be writing at all in the 1700s.

[91] Women, for example, certainly brown women would not have been writing.

[92] I mean, the first people that were even allowed to write and publish in America are basically white male authority figures like Jonathan Edwards, the first example of literature or literarily published something was sinners in the hands of an angry God, which is a very famous piece of writing by someone named Jonathan Edwards.

[93] And it's all biblical and it's all fire and brimstone.

[94] It's exactly what you think it's going to be from the Puritans.

[95] But that was the only thing you could write about.

[96] You could only write about the Bible or scripture.

[97] or interpretation of scripture, and that interpretation, of course, was left to the imagination of a very few chosen people who were allowed to be literate, first of all.

[98] Yeah, I was going to say, let's just start with the notion that they were only investing the education in a very select few people.

[99] Like, the barrier of entry to reading and writing is one can't overcome on their own, really.

[100] You can't be a self -starter and just stare at the dictionary for years and all of a sudden read.

[101] So, yeah, you didn't even have access to something as rudimentary as writing.

[102] It's a very wild thought.

[103] Yeah.

[104] I guess I know very little about you other than I follow you on Instagram.

[105] Really good posts.

[106] It's fun watching you cook in your kitchen.

[107] It seems obvious to me you're in New York somewhere.

[108] You've got kind of the light that only a pretty tall apartment has in New York.

[109] Are you on a tall floor?

[110] Am I right on this assessment?

[111] Yes, yes.

[112] I'm on a tall floor.

[113] I live downtown right by NYU.

[114] And it is the big monster across the street of everyone who lives in any part of Greenwich Village.

[115] And yeah, I'm a New Yorker.

[116] I have lived all over in my life, but I really feel like New York is home.

[117] It's always been home.

[118] I came here from India when I was four.

[119] And I've been raised pretty much in America, mostly in New York.

[120] Before we get into her life, because you are so evolved on current issues, and I know you're very vocal.

[121] I really like that you said writers can be assholes, but good writers, and then you can appreciate that, because we have these ongoing discussions all the time about...

[122] Picasso.

[123] Yeah, exactly.

[124] Like, old -school people who have essentially been post -death, cancelled.

[125] Posthumously canceled.

[126] And yet, they've given us a lot, and I think people have a hard time holding both things.

[127] Yeah, they did horrible things, and we also gained.

[128] It's tough.

[129] It really is because a lot of the people who have created, for example, the music of somebody in my generation, my childhood music, have been found to be really problematic.

[130] And so then you think, okay, so am I not allowed to play them on the rotation?

[131] Also, like, is it possible that there would be some kind of sliding scale of evaluation?

[132] because there were also these people who were doing criminal acts in their time, even relative to their culture, they were actual objective monsters then versus, fuck, just rewind 20 years and watch a monologue from late night.

[133] Like, if someone did that monologue today, they would be canceled immediately from network television.

[134] Those things must be evaluated differently.

[135] They do have to be evaluated differently.

[136] And I think that culture is learning about, nuance a little belatedly, but I think nuance is very important here.

[137] Look, as somebody who's been through sexual harassment and sexual assault, it's a really serious fucking thing.

[138] And it's a thing that even if you try and compartmentalize it, whatever happens to you whenever, it still seeps into your consciousness and it makes the person who's suffered through that very insecure and very anxious.

[139] And really, it sets them back.

[140] have said, like, yeah, my world's divided into pre -molesting, post -molesting.

[141] Post -molesting is there's a lot of wolves in the world.

[142] They're everywhere, and you better be able to quickly diagnose who is that and who's not.

[143] Like, that becomes a reality really quick.

[144] Like, oh, fuck, some people are out to manipulate me and take advantage of me. I think that's one layer of it.

[145] And then for me, I don't know what your experience was, but like this personal guilt I carried, the catch -all blanketed it's not your fault did not work for me because there was many elements of the experiences that I was culpable.

[146] Now, I can evaluate it and go, I was culpable for an eight -year -old and I can have forgiveness for myself, but I first have to acknowledge, like, I didn't listen to a very bad feeling in me several times.

[147] I actually quieted the very bad feeling in myself because I wanted this other thing.

[148] And that's where my shame lies.

[149] Like, that dude, activities are his to live with, the part I wrestled with for years and just came to terms with like maybe 10 years ago was like, oh, I'm mad at myself that I didn't listen to myself.

[150] And I got to forgive myself for not listening to myself because I had no experience yet at eight years old to do that.

[151] But there was like a personal element to me that I needed to admit and then apologize for and then give forgiveness to so I could move out.

[152] And I doubt I've moved on.

[153] But yeah.

[154] You've been able to at least explore the effect.

[155] it's had in your life so it doesn't have more effects or continued effects.

[156] And I think what you're talking about is really common for a lot of us who have gone through those traumatic, unfortunate experiences.

[157] And I think a lot of the cancel culture comes from that.

[158] It comes from, so you, yes, I too, I know how you feel when you're talking like that, because there is this element of why, why was I tempted by a teddy bear or you know candy bar why didn't i tell my mom sooner why didn't i do this why didn't i do that and that's okay to have as long as you can put it in its context and understand that as an eight -year -old child a seven -year -old child even a 14 -year -old you don't have that kind of a 22 -year -old who's never been preyed upon if you're innocent yeah and so many of us have gone through that.

[159] But if you don't process that, then what happens is that hurt turns into anger.

[160] And anger is just pain with nowhere to go.

[161] And so that anger then becomes directed at the person who's perpetrating it often, but often more than that, it turns into anger at society, which bears some serious amount of responsibility.

[162] But I think if we can somehow find a way to not, not hide or not put away, but just expel, just let that pain and anger have air, it dissipates.

[163] But for us to do that, we have to be able to have nuanced conversations that don't fit into a Twitter feed or an Instagram post.

[164] Or a conclusion.

[165] There's this great temptation to have some conclusion at the end of the story and often there isn't one.

[166] Yeah.

[167] It's hard to have closure when some of the people are dead.

[168] Others don't want to believe it.

[169] And a third set just don't want to take sides.

[170] And it's very tricky.

[171] Listen, I won't say who, but last night I was having dinner.

[172] And a person I hadn't seen for a few years came up to me who had gone through a me -to thing, a man who had been accused.

[173] And they were very, very intent on telling me their side of the story.

[174] And I know one of the.

[175] the accusers of this person.

[176] And I just said to them, I said, look, I don't have a dog in this fight except to say that what I saw was X, Y, and Z. But I wasn't hanging out at 3 o 'clock in the morning with you.

[177] I wasn't there.

[178] I don't know.

[179] And unless I know something concrete that I've seen or heard or felt with my own self, I have no business talking about this.

[180] and I don't have any comment to give you.

[181] Like, it's very painful.

[182] There is this kind of feeling that, well, you did this or you didn't do that.

[183] And that's true.

[184] A lot of that is true.

[185] But all we can do is affect change in our behavior from today forward.

[186] And forgiveness has to become a part of that.

[187] Yeah.

[188] It has to.

[189] And I say, again, I say that as somebody who is.

[190] sexually molested at five and seven, somebody who lost her virginity who was raped at 16, I still believe that the only way forward for all of us together is through forgiveness and talking and talking and talking.

[191] Because I also sincerely believe, and this is not going to be a popular thing for me to say, but some of the men who perpetrated the assault and the harassment that they did to me personally didn't feel like they were doing anything wrong.

[192] So yes this is a very dangerous distinction to make but I always try to make it which is there is lots of situations where both people their experience, they're being truthful about their experience and they had a drastically different experience and that happens with meals that happens with vacations that happens with events between my siblings and I that we witnessed somehow we all saw something different Like, that is the nature of a human perspective is that it is very impacted by your lens and everything.

[193] This doesn't excuse anything that a guy's done, that a woman feel.

[194] But it's just, it is relevant.

[195] Certainly, there's a guy, like, Harvey Weinstein knows he's a fucking predator.

[196] He is saying at the door, you're going to lose this relationship with me if you don't come in.

[197] Like, I don't care what his perception of that was.

[198] That's pretty cut and dry.

[199] But certainly, as I've been around for 46 years and been kissing girls since, I was 12, I can only assume some women have had a much different memory of experiences that I have.

[200] I don't know what the conclusion of that is, but just, yeah, the whole thing needs to be really complex and people are just allergic to complex, I think.

[201] Well, complex is hard.

[202] Complex doesn't fit into neat boxes, but complex conversations are exactly what we should have.

[203] I say this, too, of all of last summer, not only of the Me Too movement, but everything that happened around Black Lives Matter and is still happening.

[204] This is a very painful reckoning for everybody involved.

[205] But guess what?

[206] There's always pain when there's growth.

[207] And it is necessary.

[208] So you can complain about the thorn in your foot all you want, but it's going to hurt when you get it out.

[209] And we have some very big thorns that we're walking around with.

[210] in our feet as a culture.

[211] Yeah.

[212] I want to talk about identity with you because I would imagine for you it would be a great topic.

[213] I have come to be best friends with Monica.

[214] I know her story in a way that I wouldn't have been able to guess someone's personal story like that.

[215] I've learned so much from it.

[216] I would imagine being born in India, then going to New York City, and then going to Los Angeles, and then being a model, and then being a host and an author and a cook, all these things.

[217] imagine you of all people as a really, I don't know, interesting relationship with identity and like, who am I?

[218] Where's my solace?

[219] So let's just start with Los Angeles being from India.

[220] You must have looked other.

[221] Where were you, La Puente?

[222] La Puente, yes.

[223] La Puente.

[224] So La Puente is kind of the pimple on the map between Hollywood and Disneyland.

[225] It's off between the 10 and the 60 freeways.

[226] Great place to get a RV.

[227] I saw that you were taking a road trip, by the way, on your Instagram.

[228] I know all the RV hotspots in the country, yeah.

[229] Exactly.

[230] So when I was there, as now, it's a very heavily immigrant population.

[231] A lot of Asians, a lot of Mexicans and other Latin minorities.

[232] Is it mostly Korean there?

[233] Now it's a lot of Koreans.

[234] When I was going to school there in the 80s, there were still Koreans, but a lot of Filipinos, a lot of Mexicans, some African American.

[235] When I was a freshman in college, there were way more white people, white students than there were by the time I was a senior in high school.

[236] Right.

[237] Oh, wow.

[238] Yeah.

[239] So it is very much a working class neighborhood.

[240] And I was brown, but I wasn't Spanish.

[241] And I don't think there were any other Indians in my school.

[242] If there were, didn't know them and they did not come up to me nor did i go up to them so people would assume i was mexican like 20 feet away and then they got to know me and realize i wasn't latin or spanish and certainly didn't speak spanish until i went to college so it was hard it's just weird being indian back then because there weren't that many of us so the only thing that people knew about india was temple of doom which i watched the indiana jones and it just like Like, I love Steven Spielberg, and I think he's a genius.

[243] But those series of movies were really kind of cringe -worthy to watch.

[244] Oh, wow.

[245] Let's talk about it.

[246] Because, of course, as just a white kid who was of seeing myself in indie, I'm like, this is exotic.

[247] He's traveling the world.

[248] Look how different all the play.

[249] It probably led to me being an anthropology major, to be honest.

[250] So, yeah, let me hear from your perspective because I'm sure it was opposite.

[251] Well, I mean, I love Harrison Ford.

[252] and I liked those movies and I was going to the movies in the 80s just like every other kid was and it was just hard to be Indian while that shit was on the screen.

[253] Yes.

[254] It couldn't be farther from the truth.

[255] So they're going into this thing and Kate Kapshaw is all dressed up.

[256] Is that her?

[257] Is she in that movie?

[258] I can't remember.

[259] You know, as you're talking, I'm realizing really, I just know the first Indiana Jones inside now and I don't really know Temple of Dunes.

[260] So I'm trying to remember them going to India and what happened, but I don't have any memory.

[261] I will tell you the scenes that really were icky for me. It's when they're going and they get greeted by this Maharaja and he's got this big turban with some jewel on the top of it, like straight out of clicheville.

[262] Yeah, a Disney cartoon.

[263] Yeah, but then, like, they serve this huge fat snake on a platter that they then, like, cut open and all this stuff comes out.

[264] They're going and they have to get this lingam.

[265] or this thing, the stone, which somebody has stolen, and they have to restore it to the community.

[266] So in the end, he is, I guess, doing well and the water kind of flows.

[267] And miraculously, all these downtrodden people all of a sudden have clean, brightly lit, brightly colored Indian clothing and all this stuff.

[268] But it's just the idea of the Western Savior having to come there, but also like that Indians eat all this gross, weird food.

[269] So here's what you and I both know as writers, like on the outside.

[270] So here's what happened.

[271] We've established Indy hate snakes.

[272] So we got to make Indy eat a snake at some point, Indiana Jones.

[273] We got to have them eat a snake.

[274] Where should we do that?

[275] Oh, India, I don't know.

[276] No one will know that they don't eat snake.

[277] Well, they think they do.

[278] Do you think they did or they just wanted Indiana Jones to have to eat a snake?

[279] Well, all of the cliches tell you that they eat exotic weird food.

[280] I do think, yeah, they thought, oh, it'll be really plausible that they eat a snake down in India.

[281] And certainly no one will know if they do or don't.

[282] reckless and irresponsible and not even worried about the picture that's being painted of India.

[283] And also maybe like a convenient mechanism for him to eat a snake?

[284] I don't know.

[285] Well, I mean, I think if he's scared of snakes, you have him encounter snakes.

[286] Listen, there are certainly a lot of snakes in India.

[287] We as kids learned how to spot a cobra's nest, right?

[288] They're like these tall dirt mounds that kind of get made in cones like that.

[289] So you can have him encounter snakes.

[290] It's just Indians don't really eat snake is the thing.

[291] That's more like Florida town.

[292] That's...

[293] Seriously.

[294] Wait, and so I have a question.

[295] When you're at the movie theater, let's say, and this is on and you're with friends, are you compelled to then after tell them like, hey, you know, that's not really how it is?

[296] Or are you trying to pretend it never happen?

[297] Well, it's just uncomfortable.

[298] Yes, when you're the only person of a minority going to school, you wind up being kind of this tour guide or translator and it's exhausting you wind up saying to people well that's just bullshit guys like obviously no one's eating stakes but the fact that I have to say that out loud to my classmates tells you the level of ridiculousness that that was the 80s and so obviously I've made my living kind of translating mostly food but also culture to Western audiences and and making approachable food from the east or food from around the world into like, hey, Koreans, they're just like us.

[299] They just eat really stinky cabbage.

[300] But guess what, guys, that cabbage is delicious.

[301] It's called kimchi.

[302] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[303] And so the truth is that I have been doing this for 20 years.

[304] When my first cookbook came out, it was called Easy Exotic.

[305] And now, of course, I cringe at that title of the book myself.

[306] So I share in this embarrassment as well.

[307] So, sure.

[308] So, but in my defense, I was doing then 20 years ago, what I'm doing now is just saying, hey, this stuff's not weird.

[309] It's just weird to us because we're not familiar with it.

[310] But stuff that we do, like shove meat into the intestines of another animal and then roast it on a griddle and then put onions and peppers on it, that's kind of weird to people in another part of the world.

[311] Or how about us putting chickens inside of a pig's box?

[312] and then putting the whole thing on a spit.

[313] I mean, this is, this is like cross -pollinating to, this is crazy.

[314] You can't make this shit up.

[315] You can't make this shit up.

[316] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[317] What's up, guys?

[318] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[319] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[320] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

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[336] But I think the question that Monica is getting towards that I have too is that in Monica's case in Duluth, Georgia, she just wanted to distance herself from all that stuff.

[337] Yeah, like if I was at the movie theater and that was happening, first of all, I would be going insane in my head.

[338] I would be freaking out.

[339] I'd be so uncomfortable.

[340] Like, oh my God.

[341] Oh, my God.

[342] Everyone's thinking about me, everyone's associating me with this, I hate this.

[343] And then I would have probably, which is so regrettable, I would have been like, ew, that was gross, right?

[344] Like, I would have pretended that I was them.

[345] Like, I was also on the outside.

[346] Because you were.

[347] Were you born in this country, Monica?

[348] I was born here, yeah.

[349] Yeah.

[350] So this is something I got sent back every summer to India.

[351] So I actually, like, during school years, I spent 25 % of my time still in India.

[352] So, like, I still speak Tamil.

[353] I speak Hindi badly, but I speak it.

[354] And I'm very tied to that part of my identity.

[355] But I'm effectively an American kid.

[356] I went through the American public school system.

[357] But a lot of what you're describing is what many different immigrants go through, right?

[358] Or children of immigrants.

[359] There's the Indian culture.

[360] There's the American culture.

[361] Whatever the fuck that means.

[362] And then there's this third.

[363] thing in between, which you probably inhabit, which is not being completely white -bred, European -American person who has been raised with monster trucks and meatloaf and all that stuff.

[364] But then there's this other identity that your parents are still very, very ingrained in, probably, which is Indian culture.

[365] And their culture is probably not even what's going on in.

[366] India today because they left and they made their lives and their families here.

[367] Yeah, and my mom grew up in America, too.

[368] So there was one layer removed also because of that.

[369] But her mother's like you.

[370] Her mother came when she was six.

[371] Yeah, like she could relate to a lot of the things you're saying, I think, were like no Indian people at all in her school.

[372] Georgia.

[373] Especially in Georgia.

[374] Yeah, there was no one other than.

[375] That's a real thing, that Indian but Southern thing, like Aziz, I'm sorry.

[376] a friend of mine.

[377] He's also from the South.

[378] And it's a real thing.

[379] Like, it's interesting.

[380] But that to me is what's cool about America, okay?

[381] That's the good news is that there are all these layers of cultures that make us who we are.

[382] And they're complicated and they're interesting.

[383] And they often make for great conversation, great music, great films, great writing, and of course, great food.

[384] Like the Korean taco or Texas brisket ramen, for example.

[385] example.

[386] Like all these cool things is what to me makes American pop culture so cool.

[387] Because your mother is probably like me. You're probably like my daughter who's 11.

[388] And then she's got her whole dad's side.

[389] And my mother is like this little old Indian lady with a very thick accent that could never live in India in her life again because she also came here in the 70s made her life here.

[390] So she's not completely Indian as Indian as she looks and sounds to the outside.

[391] Right.

[392] Was the stepdad Indian?

[393] My stepdad is Indian, yes.

[394] I just want to reverse and just let's all take a second to laugh because until you said monster trucks, it didn't occur to me. White people love monster trucks.

[395] Sure.

[396] It's so funny.

[397] I've been to monster truck rallies.

[398] It is 100 % white.

[399] We love those monster trucks.

[400] What a thing for us to love.

[401] I mean, I guess it's kind of indicative.

[402] Like these big...

[403] Yeah, it's enormous.

[404] It drives over other cars.

[405] Yeah.

[406] I think it's innocuous gladiatorship, if I can get that word up.

[407] Because no people are dying, hopefully, but we're still crushing things.

[408] So instead of crushing skulls or getting eaten by tigers, we're having one truck kind of demolish all of these other vehicles.

[409] Two truck enter, one truck leave.

[410] Exactly.

[411] Okay.

[412] Okay, so when you were in high school, prior to going to college, when you were imagining your life for yourself, I know you majored in theater, right?

[413] Mm -hmm.

[414] And American alert, yeah.

[415] So were you aiming to act, or were you aiming to be an academic?

[416] How about this?

[417] Back up.

[418] You and I, there's a mix -up.

[419] We have to share an Uber on the way to the airport.

[420] You don't tell me what you do.

[421] You present yourself, and as I'm talking to you, I would be assuming you are like an academic.

[422] Like, you're very, very, very, very smart.

[423] it seems like you probably would have pursued something in academia.

[424] I'd imagine you had that Indian pressure to, like, go be a doctor or something or an engineer.

[425] Definitely.

[426] So where were you going in your mind?

[427] And on the theme of identity, like, who were you going to be?

[428] Who is Padma, this bizarre mix of American and Indian and La Puente?

[429] Well, I don't know.

[430] I think I thought I was going to be an actor.

[431] I knew it was going to be really hard.

[432] And after college, my last semester of college, I went to study abroad.

[433] and that's sort of where I started modeling just to pay off my college loans.

[434] Really quick, before we go onward from modeling, can I ask, did you feel beautiful in high school?

[435] No. Because I have a few model friends that, models in particular, like actresses and actors who end up filling those roles in movies, they knew they were good -looking.

[436] There's just something about it.

[437] I have a few model friends that, like, they were wallflowers in high school, and they got to this age and all of a sudden, And I was like, oh, my God, you're this striking crazy unicorn, do you want a model?

[438] Like, it doesn't match up always the way acting does.

[439] Yeah, no, it doesn't match up because there's the height thing, especially for girls.

[440] Which is disadvantage in high school.

[441] It's a huge disadvantage.

[442] Look, I was 5 '9 with a size eight shoe, which is what I am today, when I was 13 years old.

[443] And, you know, I felt like this gangly giraffe.

[444] In fact, people did call me a black giraffe or something, like really mean.

[445] But, yeah, I mean, I knew I was kind of attractive.

[446] I wasn't a wallflower in high school because I had theater.

[447] And I not only acted in plays, but I also wrote plays for first year drama students to be in my senior year.

[448] Because try to find a play with 15 girls and two boys.

[449] It's very hard.

[450] So I wound up writing one.

[451] And I thought that I would either teach or be an actor.

[452] I didn't really have a plan beyond that.

[453] I thought I would be a set.

[454] First of all, I went to school and I chose a school I did because I thought I would major in psychology.

[455] I was always active in theater in high school, but it's the Indian thing.

[456] Like, I didn't feel like my parents would have been happy.

[457] It's not safe.

[458] Yeah, so like it was like medical.

[459] There's no way I was going to be a medical doctor.

[460] So I was like, maybe I can do psychology because I'm really interested in people's feelings and it's still a great job and whatever.

[461] My aunt is a psychiatrist.

[462] But then when I got into college, everything was great, but I still missed something and I realized what I missed was theater.

[463] So then I changed my major.

[464] So I knew it was going to be a long road.

[465] I thought that I would probably wind up being a teacher if the acting thing didn't work out.

[466] And to tell you the truth, like I never really had access to great parts.

[467] I mean, I know I'm sure Kristen as a blonde white woman would probably tell you the same thing.

[468] It doesn't matter.

[469] It's just hard in general to be an actor, regardless of what you look like.

[470] But I just didn't have access to those kind of auditions for the roles that I think I would have been right for.

[471] And I would ask my agents, like, well, that girl from acting class, she's going in on this part.

[472] And I'm that age.

[473] And they would be like, oh, yeah, I sent your thing.

[474] They love you, but they're not going ethnic with that role.

[475] Well, can I add, there's also, like, you've got a triple whammy on your hands, I think, because when you're first starting in acting, you're basically incentivized to be as broadly appealing as possible.

[476] Like, I got to go on a tampon commercial, then I got to go Burger King.

[477] I look like a guy at a Budweiser party, and then I got to buy a new Honda.

[478] But then what's really bizarre is then it flips, and what you're rewarded for ultimately is having a very unique point of view, and that's what will bring you to stardom, but it's flipped.

[479] So, I mean, there's so many things they could have said the reason you are, like, there's no way this girl's five, nine, There's no way this person's a model, yet a lot.

[480] Like, the role you would have needed probably comes around every five years.

[481] Right.

[482] Yeah.

[483] And then I would get really irritated, too, because I was also lumped in with all those models who wanted to be actresses.

[484] And I was like, no, I've written an honors thesis on the golden age of Spanish theater in the and people are like, nobody gives a shit.

[485] You know, it's a flying fuck about all the things you've read or studied.

[486] Can you sell this toothpaste?

[487] Can you sell that?

[488] Yeah.

[489] Yeah.

[490] Do we believe you bought a tampon, got in your Honda, and went to Pizza Hut?

[491] We don't.

[492] Exactly.

[493] But it is changing.

[494] It's much better today than it was 25 years ago.

[495] Yeah.

[496] So when you start modeling, that's kind of a left turn, right?

[497] And that becomes its own, what are you going to not take that opportunity?

[498] And then that turns into probably years of modeling.

[499] And then so again, where are we at identity -wise?

[500] Having talked to you, I'm assuming you probably don't love being known as a model.

[501] I don't.

[502] But I have a lot of good things.

[503] Like so much bad shit happens to you when you're a model.

[504] I will just say that just so I can get that out of the way.

[505] But for me, modeling was really useful.

[506] And I thank the modeling jobs that I had.

[507] I think the fashion industry in spite of like all of the insecurity and the shit that you get thrown at you.

[508] For me, I used modeling as a tool to other things.

[509] And I think that's probably because my mother made sure I went to college.

[510] I was offered modeling jobs when I was in high school, and my mom just always said, like, if you're pretty at 17, you'll be even more pretty or beautiful at 21, and you need to have your college degree.

[511] And thank God she did that.

[512] Because I think then when I was mostly done, except for that last semester with college and did start modeling, I could put it in perspective.

[513] I had lived a little.

[514] I had studied a little.

[515] I was still a kid.

[516] I don't think you're an adult until you're well into your 20s, frankly.

[517] I'm hoping to get there in a few years.

[518] Yeah.

[519] It gave me some kind of perspective that this is temporary.

[520] Also, modeling allowed me to pay off my college loans, which I had friends I went to college with who were paying them off for decades later.

[521] And then modeling also allowed me to travel the world in a way that, as a young person, I'd have never had the resources to do on my own to go to all these different countries and learn about their culture.

[522] And on my day off, everyone else was like doing whatever.

[523] And I would go to the food markets and the open air markets.

[524] And I would try, I would ask the cab drivers where I should eat because they always know the good places to eat.

[525] And so I would go there.

[526] And so I don't believe that I would be able to do what I do today in television if I had not had those experiences in my early 20s.

[527] And that was extraordinarily helpful to me. It was an education on its own.

[528] I want to be dead clear.

[529] So I don't think there's anything wrong with being a model, A. B, I think all the reasons you just explained.

[530] Yeah, what an incredibly novel, unique experience.

[531] It feels like you're a pragmatist, and it was a means to an end.

[532] It was financially motivated.

[533] But I'm wondering when you're going places, you're dating someone, and they introduce you as a model, did it trip for you?

[534] Because that's not necessarily the identity, the moniker that you were ever, in search of.

[535] Yeah, it did.

[536] I had a huge chip on my shoulder because I was wanting to make sure they knew that I had read, that I was intelligent.

[537] Because here's why being able to model, okay, is no accomplishment of its own, okay?

[538] I look largely the way I do because of the alchemy of my parents' genetics coming together in this cocktail that made me. They did a great job.

[539] Thank you.

[540] I tipped my hat to them.

[541] Thank you.

[542] So all the things that I've done after that are, of course, a product of me using the opportunities that were given to me and learning from them and putting them into use in my work today as a writer, as a food expert, as a host on television and producer.

[543] But in those days, my 20s were very painful for me because I felt like I wasn't being taken seriously, which is true of most 20 years old.

[544] You shouldn't take people in their 20 seriously.

[545] You should let them experience life.

[546] and fuck up and stumble and get up again.

[547] I'm actually happy that I was a model in the age that I was because we didn't have the internet.

[548] And I'm sure the first show that I hosted, which was a job on Italian television, I'm sure I wasn't great at it.

[549] I was sort of the funny sidekick.

[550] And were you speaking Italian?

[551] Yes, I was.

[552] Wow.

[553] Can we make, that's like when someone does an impression, will you just tell Monica and I how gorgeous we look in Italian.

[554] Can you say something to us in Italian?

[555] It's so fun.

[556] What do you say to do you?

[557] I like that we're talking finally because we've done this transmission years ago, no?

[558] Oh my God.

[559] I don't know what you said.

[560] I don't even care.

[561] She could have been like that blouse doesn't match those bottoms.

[562] Why are you in a mechanics outfit?

[563] Your hair looks terrible and yet I still felt like I was being romanticized.

[564] That's right.

[565] Oh my God.

[566] The Italian has that effect on people.

[567] It's my favorite language to speak, even over English.

[568] More than French?

[569] More than French.

[570] I'm not good at French.

[571] My mouth doesn't move in that way, but I have spent time living in France.

[572] So I can get by, I can get by in French, but really Italian, I enjoy speaking it so much.

[573] I even feel like it affects my personality.

[574] I think when you are somebody who speaks different languages, your identity shifts a little bit because of the ways that you're able to express yourself in any given language.

[575] And I am my most sensual, funny self in Italian, I feel.

[576] Yeah.

[577] Yeah, you'll ask someone, like, I remember being on a moped with Kristen lost and asking someone stupidly for directions.

[578] And the way this person was telling me how to get to where I was going, it was so enthusiastic.

[579] There was so much passion.

[580] It's like, you're going to see this life.

[581] But don't fuck with that.

[582] Go past that.

[583] Like, yeah, the whole thing I was like, I feel like he just gave me instructions to a surprise birthday party or something.

[584] totally passion so I said I basically was modeling and because I could speak Italian I actually lived in Italy and France for most of my 20s from the time I was 22 to 28 I lived in Milan Rome and Paris I had a Pietater very tiny poster stamp apartment here in the city and I would come to America but to be honest I didn't work that much in America as a model they just didn't know what to do with me. I also have a big scar on my arm, which helped in Europe because it was the grunge period.

[585] Oh, okay, yeah.

[586] As one of your peers, I forget her, well, I never knew her name.

[587] I just know her.

[588] She was Asian and she had this awesome tattoo on her shoulder of a woman riding a wrench.

[589] Do you know that?

[590] Oh, yeah, Jenny Shemizu.

[591] Yes, she was a contemporary.

[592] Okay, that makes sense, because that was my life.

[593] My life was punk rock music.

[594] And there was a model that all of a sudden I was like, oh, that's the first model I think I'd want to go to lunch with.

[595] She has like this fucking cool tattoo of a wrench on her shoulder.

[596] Super cool.

[597] I mean, I was never edgy like that, but I got lumped in with them because of this really big scar on my arm.

[598] Really quick to the scar because I do know, like, if I Google you, which I've done, Padma Lakshmi's scar comes up.

[599] It'll want to fill in the blank with scar.

[600] Right.

[601] And I had seen that, but I didn't know what it was from.

[602] And then today I learned you were in the hospital for three.

[603] three weeks as a 14 -year -old.

[604] And then when you got out, immediately, you got in a horrendous car accident in Malibu, and you had to have surgery on what I'm guessing, you're humorous or something?

[605] Exactly right.

[606] Yeah, we were driving on the freeway.

[607] We went to this Hindu temple.

[608] My mother is super religious, so she wanted to do an offering for getting her child out of the hospital.

[609] I had this very rare illness called Stevens Johnson syndrome.

[610] And they could never figure it out.

[611] They controlled it by just giving me a whole bunch of steroids and stuff.

[612] And then I got out of the hospital on February 1st, which was a Friday.

[613] And on February 3rd, which was a Sunday, we went to the temple.

[614] And our way back from the temple, we got on this massive car accident.

[615] It's like where the 60 and the 10 and the 101 all meet right there.

[616] Oh, uh -huh.

[617] It was a very big car accident.

[618] My parents were airlifted to USC Medical Center.

[619] I was taken to the City of Angels.

[620] And I didn't know if they were alive or dead.

[621] for a good 12 hours because my mom was knocked unconscious.

[622] My dad was sort of in and out of consciousness, but I was totally lucid throughout the whole accident.

[623] And I remember it.

[624] And it was a very traumatic time in my life.

[625] But I came out of that time healthy, I think.

[626] And also with this giant six -inch scar on my right arm, which was done.

[627] I've had several surgeries on it, which is why the scar just got bigger and bigger.

[628] And I cheloid.

[629] I have melanin.

[630] I keloid.

[631] And So that's what the scar is from.

[632] And it took me a really long time to evolve and feel what I now feel from my scar, which is totally fine.

[633] There were a lot of years where I was really embarrassed by it.

[634] Yeah.

[635] And you shattered your hip?

[636] I did.

[637] Oh, my God.

[638] Yeah.

[639] And my parents, too.

[640] My dad broke his leg in four places, his hip in two.

[641] My mom broke five ribs in her sternum and her humorous as well.

[642] So it was a very serious accident.

[643] months and months of physical therapy.

[644] Who came in to help y 'all?

[645] Because it sounds like every member of the family's down.

[646] Who steps in to like help?

[647] Well, we had an aunt and an uncle who helped a lot.

[648] And we also had one -to -one nursing.

[649] That was the only way to get through it.

[650] And it was a very, very traumatic thing that happened.

[651] But I've had a few of those things from the molestation to the accident.

[652] That's what I was just going to say.

[653] Your scar is analogous to you have an 11 -year -old.

[654] Yeah.

[655] I have an 8 and a 6 -year -old.

[656] And I don't want.

[657] trauma for my children yet my life was littered with it i don't know who i am without any of those things and clearly you too and it's just this bizarre equation sometimes i guess i wish i knew more people that had nothing but that were still interesting and okay yes yes on fire or hungry or had something to prove like i want that for my children but without all the trauma but i don't know that that exists we'll find out.

[658] We'll find out.

[659] I don't think you can never have it all.

[660] I mean, I know how you feel because I think about this with my own daughter.

[661] And she's a kid who lives in New York City.

[662] And her dad is somebody who grew up in Texas in a very beautiful suburban Houston town.

[663] So he's always freaked out when something happens or he says, we're having a lot of panhandlers down here in Soho.

[664] And I'm like, first of all, I've never heard the word panhandler used by someone of my generation.

[665] But secondly, like, yeah, you should go to India sometime, you know, which he has been many times.

[666] But it's hard.

[667] You want to protect your kids, but you have to teach your kids how to use their muscles.

[668] You have to allow them to develop those muscles.

[669] And it's hard.

[670] You want just a little bit of trauma in a safe environment, let them exercise their muscles.

[671] but life doesn't work like that.

[672] I want one trauma less than the one that sent me into being an addict.

[673] Whatever the one, just one before that, that just gave me resilience is the one I want for them.

[674] Yeah, but again, that's another thing.

[675] Your children, like my child, are different than you.

[676] And so the thing, that one thing that you want to take away that made you an addict may not have made somebody an else an addict.

[677] And it may be that someone else needs much less to be an addict or much more.

[678] It's just like a mental master.

[679] to be like, oh, this hadn't happened or that hadn't happened.

[680] This thing happened at that given moment in your life when the weather was like this and the stars were like that and your mom was in a shitty mood or your dad didn't pick you up at school and that is what happened.

[681] And we can't change that.

[682] And my daughter and your kids are going to have the same, same feelings from different catalysts.

[683] Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

[684] I also want to add, because if I was listening, I'd be screaming this at my radio, which is, yeah, it's convenient to take two of the cases where all that trauma worked out, and we've come to be grateful for it, versus it destroys way more people than it makes.

[685] It creates way more addicts that don't come out of it.

[686] It creates more food addict.

[687] It creates a lot of people regulating with things that aren't great to regulate with.

[688] And so I guess my fear that my kid won't be great versus what my real fear should be that they would be ruined by this experience for the rest of their life.

[689] It's just good to remember the full scope of what the options are.

[690] Well, there's just something in between.

[691] And I do think that kids are resilient.

[692] I really believe that.

[693] I believe that they can come through a shit ton of stuff with love, with love and feeling that, love and feeling that love not only towards them, but between the people around them.

[694] Yeah.

[695] Okay.

[696] So I'm going to kind of speed through the fact that people would already know this, but obviously the Italian side hustle worked out for you.

[697] You've found a great career in television.

[698] You've been a host on Top Chef since 2006.

[699] And because you've written three cookbooks, and your new book is also a cooking book in essence, in transitioning from a model to a host, Like, how does food come in and how does that become part of your identity?

[700] Sure.

[701] So when I did my first film, which was a costume drama for Italian television, I had to gain 20 pounds.

[702] And it was the first time in my life that I had ever tried to do that.

[703] And when the movie finished, I went back to being a model.

[704] I wasn't paid that much for that movie.

[705] And I had never tried to lose the weight before because I was always this freak of nature that was like five, nine, and a hundred pounds.

[706] I always love to cook.

[707] I always was cooking, even when I was a five -year -old and stuff.

[708] So I took the recipes that I normally made, and I took the fat out of them.

[709] In those days, we thought fat was bad.

[710] I was on a fat -free diet for a year, 95.

[711] That was the thing.

[712] Yeah, it was totally the thing.

[713] And the book came out in 1999, and it was also like about, again, making food from all over the world more approachable, because that's how I eat.

[714] And also, that's how I felt most Americans ate.

[715] Not everybody had one kind of food, whatever that one kind of food was, seven days a week.

[716] So I wanted to take these exotic, quote unquote, recipes that I ate, and take the unhealthy stuff out of them, make it more healthy so I could lose the weight.

[717] And that's how easy exotic was born.

[718] That's how the first cookbook got made.

[719] And I went on book tour, and I went on the Food Network, and I was on the show, and I did a little cooking segment for them.

[720] and they asked me to come back, like three weeks later, to do another segment.

[721] And then I did.

[722] And then my manager said, well, you're going to have to pay her if you ask her to come back, because she's not on a book tour anymore, and she can't afford to be doing this.

[723] And so they offered me a development deal.

[724] And I got a show on the Food Network that was part of the melting pot series called Padma's Passport.

[725] And it was literally like all the recipes from my cookbook, but I would just demo them in studio.

[726] It was sort of this stand and stir old -fashioned cooking.

[727] show.

[728] And I liked doing that, but Scripps, which is a company that still owns the Food Network, is very conservative.

[729] And I was not going to wear a chef smock.

[730] I wasn't a chef.

[731] I was a home cook, a bon vivant, a world traveler, a fabulous girl.

[732] I was cooking in leather pants and shit.

[733] So then they're like, well, maybe we can throw you out in the field.

[734] So that's how I started doing documentaries.

[735] And I did a couple of documentaries for them called Planet Food.

[736] And then I got the gig on Top Chef All along the way, though, to make ends meet, I was writing.

[737] I had a syndicated column in the New York Times.

[738] I wrote a style column for Harper's Bazaar, did a couple pieces for Vogue, gourmet.

[739] And then I was still auditioning as an actor, and I would do one -off things when I got the parts.

[740] So I was bouncing and juggling all these jobs to piece together a living.

[741] And I was still doing that for the first few years that I was on Top Chef.

[742] I wasn't making enough many on Top Chef those first couple of seasons to make ends meet on its own.

[743] Right.

[744] Especially not in New York City.

[745] Yeah, no. And so I'm a late bloomer and I only came into my own sort of in my early to mid -30s, I would say.

[746] That makes sense because you seem to be aging on a timeline that seems to be like 0 .6 of the timeline.

[747] Oh, physically?

[748] Yeah, like she's 50.

[749] Yeah.

[750] But I glance, you're like she's 30.

[751] So 50 times 0 .0 .0 .0.

[752] is 30.

[753] So really when you were 30 times point, you were like 18.

[754] Yeah, that's the time to discover yourself.

[755] There you go.

[756] See, that makes sense.

[757] Yeah, we figured it out.

[758] You're just aging slowly and it fucking took a minute.

[759] All right, so let's talk about tomatoes for Nila.

[760] This has to be kind of loosely autobiographical a little bit, no?

[761] Yes, it's certainly autobiographical.

[762] Earlier, you were talking about my books.

[763] So I've written two cookbooks and one encyclopedia.

[764] In fact, to have it right here.

[765] It's an encyclopedia of herbs and spices by me. And then I wrote a memoir.

[766] We could do two hours on your memoir.

[767] There's so much stuff in there I want to talk about, but that'll be another time.

[768] Will you take 36 seconds to tell Monica what she's missing by turning her back on the Indian cuisine?

[769] You don't fuck with Indian food that much.

[770] Well, the older I get, the more, but my, you know, my mom would make it and my grandmother would exclusively make it, but I would always demand, like a grilled cheese instead or something.

[771] I didn't want to eat it and I didn't for the most part until now, now I'm embracing it more.

[772] Well, Indian food is very regional.

[773] So there's a lot of diversity and variety in it.

[774] Indian food is good because it's inexpensive.

[775] It's mostly a lot of it is vegetarian, though not exclusively.

[776] There's some great non -vegetarian food as well.

[777] I love Indian food because it makes me feel healthier.

[778] So if you're going into veganism, which I am definitely not.

[779] But if you wanted to be a vegan, having a food background in Indian food as part of your heritage is very useful.

[780] Because if you just take away the butter, ghee, and yogurt, it can be totally vegan.

[781] And so it's a lot of things that are also good for the environment.

[782] One serving a protein from a plant -based source like beans or pulses costs 28 cents.

[783] whereas one serving a protein from a cow costs $2 .50.

[784] And when you grow crops like beans and stuff, it enriches the soil with nitrogen.

[785] So it's actually better for the planet, unlike animal farming and cattle and poultry and stuff, actually puts toxic things into the soil and it wastes a whole bunch of water.

[786] I'm not saying to never eat meat again.

[787] I'm just saying to eat less of it.

[788] And when you eat it, make sure it's good quality meat and it's a treat.

[789] But if you can have half of your diet come from fruits and vegetables, you are already way ahead of everyone else.

[790] Your skin will thank you.

[791] Your hair will thank you.

[792] Your gut and your brain will thank you.

[793] It's just better living through food.

[794] I need more vegetables.

[795] I know, me too.

[796] I'm getting sad hearing that.

[797] Okay, so tomatoes for now.

[798] So Tomatoes for Neela is based on a story that I would tell my own kid when she was going to sleep.

[799] Originally there was a squirrel family in it.

[800] And this amazing, brilliant editor named Tamar Bracis, who just happened to go to my Pilates studio was passing me by and told her instructor that she would kill to work with me. And so my instructor said, oh, I know her.

[801] I sub for her teacher.

[802] When she's gone, she's really approachable.

[803] Please tell her that.

[804] I'm sure she'll want to.

[805] And that's how we met and I said, well, I have this story laying around that I haven't done anything with.

[806] And I sent it to her and she loved it.

[807] And we made some edits.

[808] And then we got this kick -ass Caldecott Award winning illustrator who's Peruvian woman named Juana Martinez -Nell whose work I love.

[809] And it first turned us down because she was really busy and then said, you know what, I juggled some things around.

[810] I really want to do this book.

[811] So I'm so thankful.

[812] She found space in her schedule.

[813] And that's how the book came about.

[814] And the book is really about the importance of teaching your children when things grow.

[815] Not all of us are lucky enough to live in California or Florida and don't have affordable access to every vegetable under the sun all year round.

[816] Yes, if you go to Whole Foods, you can.

[817] But if you've ever had a tomato in February that's just grown like normal, you would know that it tastes like shit.

[818] It tastes like water.

[819] How about a piece of corn on the cob in February?

[820] Oof, that's going to be rough.

[821] Yeah, it's like cardboard.

[822] So the story came about because my kid came back from her dad's house and was like, I want pomegranates in July.

[823] I had pomegranates at dad's house.

[824] And I was like, what are you doing?

[825] You can't eat pomegranates when it's hot outside.

[826] You have to eat tomatoes and corn and blueberries and strawberries and strawberries.

[827] So this whole story about tomatoes came up.

[828] And it occurred to me that because we live in this land of plenty, unless you've taken it upon yourself to teach your kids when things are in season, and why would they know?

[829] And it's important because if you eat things in season, you eat things in alignment with Mother Nature, they're not only better for you, they're more delicious.

[830] And then we wanted to talk about where our food comes from.

[831] But mostly it's an intergenerational story between three women of different generations because I believe also that everyone in the family has something to teach that child.

[832] And if you can get the perspective of people in the family who have lived different lives from different generations, that kid is going to be richer and more well -rounded for it.

[833] And it's also about writing down the recipes that are important to your family.

[834] And I use recipe writing to teach my kid a lot of spelling, organizational thought, sequential thinking, and describing stuff.

[835] Well, there's maths in there.

[836] Yeah, it's really good.

[837] So I wanted to do a book that talked about seasons, talked about the importance of family, talked about the importance of cooking and getting your kids to cook from a really early age because a kid that is interested in food from a young age will always be interested in food and how they eat.

[838] And you will give that kid a lifetime of good eating and nutrition long after you've bit the dust.

[839] Yeah, and it's a cute story, right?

[840] You're going to make grandma's sauce.

[841] And so the inciting incident is to make grandma's sauce.

[842] So then you and your daughter have to go to the market and you have to look at tomatoes and you have to pick the tomatoes and learn which ones are going to make grandma sauce and then you come home and attempt to make grandma sauce yeah yeah as you were just talking i remember i have a recipe for my grandma yolas it's spaghetti it's in her handwriting it's in a special book i only make it once every two years it's a fucking pain in the ass it takes five hours to make it but when i make it i immediately like i see her handwriting i can see her kitchen sunday we ate that spaghetti i can see the white bread on, like, 60 Minutes is on.

[843] It's kind of like, one thing I love about Judaism is the baby naming ceremony that you would give a letter of a past relative to this baby, and we would all take some time to remember the past relative.

[844] Like, it's just a great excuse to do that.

[845] So I guess, yeah, my own life, I have that with this one recipe where it's just like 20 minutes of the cooking is me thinking about my grandma yolas.

[846] Well, that's what Tomatoes for Neela is all about.

[847] And you should try to bring your girls in to making that.

[848] sauce.

[849] And I really want you to buy each of them a lined notebook or diary and let them bedazzle it or whatever they're into and decorate the cover as my recipe book.

[850] And so every time they like something that they sit down and write what's in it, because it can teach them so much.

[851] And then over the years, they'll have this beautiful thing that you guys have all contributed to together.

[852] Yeah.

[853] That's just what the book is about.

[854] It's about encouraging.

[855] urging kids to value the recipes that come from their family, your grandmother's spaghetti sauce, their mothers, whatever, recipe from wherever, and build on that.

[856] And I think those family stories are really important.

[857] They're what feed our identity.

[858] We started this conversation with you guys asking me about identity.

[859] And for a long time, I think I didn't know who I was because I had this identity crisis.

[860] Not just Indian versus American, but in my case, I didn't know.

[861] know my real father.

[862] And so that played a huge role in me just having this hole in my head about a big part of me. And over the years, I'm old enough now to have created my own identity out of my own interests, but also mixed with my mother's family, which is in effect my family, the only family I have.

[863] And also my time in Italy and France and those people who have been important to me. But recipes are key to all of that.

[864] They're key to.

[865] who we are, but also who we aspire to be.

[866] And that's why this book, I hope, what Tomatoes for Neela will do is encourage families to cook more together and to write down what they cook and to blend my two loves, which is a love of food and a love of literature together.

[867] Yeah.

[868] As you were saying it, I had this really profound moment this year where I started hosting a car show.

[869] All my time in life was split between being a comedian and wanting to race.

[870] And then, yeah, at 46, I find myself on a show where you've got to be funny and improv and also drive cars really out of control.

[871] And I was like, oh my God, for the first time in my life, it kind of makes sense.

[872] And I think you're one of those stories, too.

[873] So if you're in your 20s or your 30s and you're like, I don't know where all these fucking ends of ropes I've put out lead, be patient and optimistic.

[874] Like sometimes they just kind of all weave together.

[875] And it'll astound you.

[876] Exactly.

[877] Your life seems like that to me. I always tell young people, like, it takes time to be who you're going to be.

[878] And the best thing you can do is be patient with yourself.

[879] Everything takes fucking longer than you think it's going to take.

[880] That's just a given.

[881] I thought I would be all set in my career by the time I was 25.

[882] I was nowhere near that until I was like 35.

[883] Yeah.

[884] And then looking at other people your age who have already done whatever they've done and you're like, well, I failed because they did it at that age.

[885] So it's over.

[886] That's the worst.

[887] That is the absolute worst.

[888] And that is the voice in your head that you have to turn off.

[889] You have to compare yourself to five years ago, the selfie were five years ago, not what Tom, Dick, or Jane are doing.

[890] Yeah.

[891] Well, it's awesome to finally talk to you instead of just following each other on Instagram.

[892] I certainly hope I bump into you in real life in New York.

[893] There was a lot more to say.

[894] No, I know.

[895] I want to talk to you so much about attraction and parents and dads and all that.

[896] I wanted to talk about yoga.

[897] There's so much.

[898] Endometriosis, I want to talk about it.

[899] We must do it again.

[900] How about that?

[901] I would love to.

[902] I would love to have deeper conversations about all the stuff you just mentioned.

[903] Thank you for having me on.

[904] I really watch you and Kristen from afar, and so I'm very happy to be on your show.

[905] Oh, wonderful.

[906] Well, great luck with the book, and I want everyone to order it for themselves and their children.

[907] Tomatoes for Nila, which comes out August 31st on the eve of Labor Day or Memorial Day, whatever one follows.

[908] Labor.

[909] Labor, okay.

[910] Thank you.

[911] Nice to meet you as well, Monica.

[912] Bye.

[913] Bye, you guys.

[914] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[915] Welcome.

[916] We have two guests.

[917] Race to 270 boys are back.

[918] We're doing a little check -in.

[919] The two winners.

[920] We only invited the winners back for this.

[921] It's like, what's that road rules thing, challenge?

[922] Real world road rules challenge.

[923] Yeah.

[924] That's what this is.

[925] This is like after the final rose, real rule, road rules.

[926] Who do you think would represent real roads and road rules for this team?

[927] Real house and real world?

[928] Charlie is road rules.

[929] Oh, really?

[930] And Aaron is real world.

[931] Definitely.

[932] Oh, wow.

[933] I would have done the opposite.

[934] Really?

[935] I never watched them.

[936] Actually, they both could do either.

[937] Yeah.

[938] Charlie looks very real world because he would be the babe in the house.

[939] That's true.

[940] Road rules sounds like road dog.

[941] Is it road rules or road raid?

[942] Road rules.

[943] The show is called Road rage.

[944] Road rules, do they live in a house or it's just challenges?

[945] An RV maybe?

[946] No, no, road rules was they lived together still, but on the road, I believe.

[947] And then real world was just in like a nice, fancy house.

[948] But then they had challenges.

[949] That was a separate season where they'd bring people, real world people, and road rules.

[950] Both of you would be involved in the challenges.

[951] Because you both are winners of the previous.

[952] That's right.

[953] I think the challenge is still going, but road rules is not.

[954] And either is real world, right?

[955] Yeah, I think they did like a reunion, I think recently, but yeah, I watched the challenge.

[956] Look at Wabi Wob's little area.

[957] He's got like a whole office over there now.

[958] It's beautiful.

[959] It's like, oh my gosh.

[960] I love it in here so much.

[961] Wabiwab hung some pictures and made everything with beautiful, and I'm a little worried.

[962] Uh -huh.

[963] Yeah.

[964] Because you're going to like, oh, when there's a new place, it won't look like this, right?

[965] No, like, part of maybe the ju -ju was that it was, like, trashed.

[966] Oh, no, I'm not worried about that at all.

[967] In fact, this feels more conducive to chatting now.

[968] Okay.

[969] I'm so glad baby Monica is the most front and center.

[970] Yeah, prominently displayed.

[971] And next to a butterfly, which feels appropriate.

[972] Oh, my God.

[973] Like both little critters have started their beautiful metamorphosis.

[974] I think there's a butterfly on my dress.

[975] Oh, no. No. I really think so on that dress.

[976] I think that dress has a butterfly on it.

[977] Oh, an embroidered, but not a wild butterfly.

[978] As part of the pattern, this is a big ding, ding, ding.

[979] Oh, my God.

[980] Well, let's start with the fact that we all just had a really fun five days in Temecula.

[981] Oh, you're running a phone call.

[982] Monica's, never mind, Monica's on the phone.

[983] I guess we'll...

[984] Perfect.

[985] You can leave it at the door.

[986] Thank you.

[987] Oh, wow.

[988] Drug dealer?

[989] So...

[990] What'd you order?

[991] That was a...

[992] my door dash.

[993] Oh shit, you had ordered and then forgot.

[994] There was a whole issue this morning.

[995] I ordered John and Vinny's goods, like a ton of it, including Kristen's order.

[996] So much stuff.

[997] Uh -huh.

[998] And I accidentally, I guess, clicked pickup.

[999] Oh, this is a nightmare.

[1000] It was supposed to be 1115.

[1001] At PM?

[1002] No, morning.

[1003] Oh.

[1004] And it was not coming, not coming.

[1005] And I was like, what's going on?

[1006] And then finally they called me and they said, we have your order.

[1007] Are you coming?

[1008] And I said, oh, no. It's supposed to be delivery.

[1009] So then they delivered it, but now it's here now.

[1010] Oh, Jesus.

[1011] And I'm a little scared because one of the items is a whole brand zino.

[1012] What's that?

[1013] Do you think it's okay, Charlie?

[1014] A fish.

[1015] Is it salted?

[1016] Oh, Jesus Christ, you have fish sitting on your pole?

[1017] Just one.

[1018] Oh, my God.

[1019] This is going to be more triggering for me, as you would guess.

[1020] You cannot cook fish inside of an apartment.

[1021] Stop saying that.

[1022] It's a rule.

[1023] And now not only are you ordering more for your apartment, but now you're going to keep it on the porch until you eat it.

[1024] Let it get nice and ripe before we...

[1025] Yeah.

[1026] So you've got a nice cut of fish.

[1027] So I'm a little stressed out.

[1028] I imagine it's on ice.

[1029] It's got to be on ice.

[1030] Yeah, that's what I imagine.

[1031] Can I make a recommendation, though, before when you cook it?

[1032] Just to make sure in case there's any bacteria grown in there, microwave it for about 35 minutes before you prepare it.

[1033] Oh, God, look at this.

[1034] I thought you met there was a cooked fish sitting on your stopboards.

[1035] The head on it.

[1036] That would be better.

[1037] That might be better than...

[1038] I know.

[1039] This is a raw fish stuffed with some lemon, thyme.

[1040] Oh, my gosh.

[1041] It's going to be delicious, by the way.

[1042] I'm very excited about it.

[1043] I'm nervous.

[1044] But it's going to, it might get rotten.

[1045] I don't know.

[1046] Yeah, we'll see.

[1047] But we were at, for Eric's 51st birthday, we were all in Temecula, California.

[1048] Great place.

[1049] And we had a great trip.

[1050] And on the trip, we realized that for my birthday this year, my birthday wish is for my two children, Monica and Aaron, to do a photo shoot as a proud dad would want.

[1051] of his babies.

[1052] This came up on the last fact check.

[1053] Oh, it did?

[1054] That's how this started.

[1055] We were talking about it on the fact check.

[1056] We were talking about, oh, you know what we were talking about your cameo.

[1057] Okay.

[1058] Oh, right.

[1059] Monica was promoting your cameo, which was nice of her.

[1060] It was a little self -serving because I promoted the cameo to say that a lot of people ask for Aaron's cameos to be in front of the baby Monica picture.

[1061] Oh, we found that out.

[1062] A crazy amount of people.

[1063] And also a lot of them, they do ask.

[1064] for you too, but they're like, I think they straight up just think I'm, some people think I'm with you and they want you to, but I think they just want you to give them the candy.

[1065] So a lot of times I flip the phone around to a picture of you and I, which I have pictures hanging.

[1066] Pretty much just me walking around with my phone and I'll, like, I shoot a picture of me and Charlie with our trophies.

[1067] Sure.

[1068] Baby Monica.

[1069] Oh, this is great.

[1070] And then you and I a picture of us young and a picture of us.

[1071] Old.

[1072] That's not what my cameos.

[1073] That's the package.

[1074] Do we think Aaron should raise the price?

[1075] I like that he's kept it low.

[1076] I like it low.

[1077] Me too, but there's been some talk that he should make it more.

[1078] You'll probably make more money with more people going for a lower price.

[1079] Quantity over price.

[1080] That's right.

[1081] Well, I think when it started, and I asked you, I thought, if I was going to buy a cameo for a friend, I think I think, 50 bucks, I'd be like, eh.

[1082] Yeah.

[1083] But 30 bucks seems just so easy.

[1084] You'll spend that at lunch.

[1085] Yeah.

[1086] I have a feeling yours are long.

[1087] Oh, yeah.

[1088] I've seen a few.

[1089] Sometimes I apologize at the end because I look and I've been talking for seven minutes.

[1090] Oh, that's wonderful.

[1091] So they're getting a deal.

[1092] Over deliver.

[1093] They're getting a deal.

[1094] That's right.

[1095] I like that strategy.

[1096] Are you, Charlie, going to get on?

[1097] I know you've also been asked separately.

[1098] Like, he has his own cameo business, basically.

[1099] People just reach out and say, can you surprise, it's a surprise birthday party, and we want you there on Zoom.

[1100] What?

[1101] He did this.

[1102] I don't know about this.

[1103] Tell me about this.

[1104] Well, I had someone reach out, and it was their wife's birthday, and he wanted to get a training session for her.

[1105] Oh, okay.

[1106] So we set it all up.

[1107] I dial in.

[1108] I'm waiting.

[1109] They come in.

[1110] She had no idea.

[1111] Oh, okay.

[1112] I've encouraged Charlie to do a cameo.

[1113] I think Charlie might, though, be better suited for real fans.

[1114] Is that what it's called?

[1115] Only fans.

[1116] Only fans.

[1117] And this is where people could pay to see your dick and balls and stuff, right?

[1118] Yeah.

[1119] They could.

[1120] Is that what it is for fans only?

[1121] It's mostly for...

[1122] It isn't designed that way, but it attracts a lot of...

[1123] Okay.

[1124] Not in theory, but in practice.

[1125] Yes.

[1126] And is there any protection so that they can't then release that video you've sent them out publicly, or it can be recorded and re -released?

[1127] I think you can screen record it.

[1128] Okay.

[1129] I have a friend that just started one.

[1130] Oh, really?

[1131] And I think she does have stuff.

[1132] She's weirdly on the challenge also.

[1133] Oh, my, dingy -ding.

[1134] What challenge?

[1135] The real -world Roller's challenge.

[1136] Oh, my gosh.

[1137] Oh, my gosh.

[1138] Oh, my God.

[1139] What if Charlie went on there just to trade with other fans -only fans?

[1140] I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

[1141] That's nice, too.

[1142] It's really nice.

[1143] Can we get some updates?

[1144] Yeah.

[1145] People really need to know.

[1146] I know I see a lot of people asking.

[1147] This couldn't have worked out better for an update.

[1148] Yeah, right?

[1149] You have a horseshoe up your ass.

[1150] Yeah.

[1151] But a light one.

[1152] Yes.

[1153] I walked right up to Dad's bedroom this morning and jumped on that scale.

[1154] Oh, nice.

[1155] Because I knew this was going to come up.

[1156] Yeah.

[1157] And I've been feeling really good.

[1158] And this was after two cups of coffee.

[1159] There's also a few pounds of coffee.

[1160] there.

[1161] And clothes, then.

[1162] Yeah, and clothes.

[1163] Because my children were in the room.

[1164] Thank you for not getting nude on the scale as you're prone to do.

[1165] I was going to say, I'm surprised.

[1166] Yeah, but that makes sense.

[1167] 269.

[1168] 269, gang.

[1169] That was the weight.

[1170] You guys all, oh, thank you.

[1171] Thank you.

[1172] Thank you very much.

[1173] Wow, that's amazing.

[1174] Still 40 pounds down.

[1175] Yeah.

[1176] Oh, I'm so proud of you.

[1177] Thank you.

[1178] And, you know, I've been back up since the contest.

[1179] What was the highest you got?

[1180] $296.

[1181] Yeah.

[1182] Yeah, it went up another 30.

[1183] Steve lost 40 pounds twice.

[1184] Oh, my God, he's lost 70 pounds.

[1185] He lost 70 pounds?

[1186] In a year.

[1187] Wow, wow, wait.

[1188] I need to hear this journey.

[1189] Well, let's see.

[1190] I'm going to be honest.

[1191] So, Ruthie and I start dating.

[1192] Yeah, shout out Ruthie.

[1193] At Ruthie Saksin.

[1194] At Ruthie Sacks.

[1195] She'll do a thing, too.

[1196] Yeah, sure.

[1197] What do you call it?

[1198] Only fans, cameo.

[1199] I think she's more only fans for it.

[1200] Oh, definitely.

[1201] Definitely only fans for her.

[1202] Every time you came into your room, she was making some pervy video.

[1203] And it was just like, fine.

[1204] Oh, sorry, honey, you're working.

[1205] I'll come back.

[1206] Yeah, he pays the bills.

[1207] Same with Erica.

[1208] Charlie's.

[1209] Oh, Erica.

[1210] I'd pay for Erica.

[1211] She is a never -nude, but you want to see her body.

[1212] And you would pay so much more knowing she was a never -nude?

[1213] It's extra impressive because she's, She's a never -nude, and she has a perfect body.

[1214] She's the female equivalent of Charlie.

[1215] Yeah, it's true.

[1216] Perfect 20.

[1217] Follow her at Erica.

[1218] That's E -R -I -K -A -J, J -A -Y -E.

[1219] Okay, back to Ruthie and Aaron's Journey.

[1220] Oh, yeah.

[1221] So I don't want to blame it on anything except for I'm a weak person when it comes to food.

[1222] But, you know, I celebrate it.

[1223] immediately after that fucking contest.

[1224] I celebrated.

[1225] I just started eating shit.

[1226] I was rewarding myself.

[1227] Yeah.

[1228] So I think while Ruthie and I were starting to date, and she's very into health and wellness.

[1229] She's so fucking strong.

[1230] It's ridiculous.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] When Ruthie's staying there and we go downstairs to do our pump, we have to take some weight off the squat rack.

[1233] I'm sorry, the deadlift rack bar.

[1234] she has too much weight on there for us okay so that made me want to keep working out so i i was for a while i was lifting with her but i wasn't keeping up on any kind of cardio at the same time we're falling so far in love that she meant and i told her like you probably shouldn't have said that but she's like guy i'm so in love with you i wouldn't even care how big you gets Uh -huh.

[1235] So that made it a lot more easy for me to just fucking eat like an asshole.

[1236] Let's see.

[1237] Yeah, let's put your money where your mouth is.

[1238] And just put the hamburgers on my mouth there.

[1239] I hate to say it, but her saying that kind of made me a little relaxed on my regiment.

[1240] It's all interesting because it's, sure, if you got to be 400 pounds but you're healthy as a horse, sure.

[1241] But it's saying to someone, like, I don't care how on fucking death door you get?

[1242] I don't care how close.

[1243] We got to live in the emergency room at Boma.

[1244] Yeah.

[1245] And I know that's not what she meant.

[1246] Anyway, so I went into the summer months bigger again.

[1247] I'm like, oh, God.

[1248] So you lost weight over the winter again?

[1249] In the summer, like everything in my life, I'm fucking doing the opposite of what I should be doing.

[1250] So I wasn't comfortable at this summer.

[1251] So I decided to start walking again.

[1252] All I did was I did what I fucking did during the race, and I laid off of heavy lifting.

[1253] Yeah, and I just started walking and eating really light.

[1254] Went back to the turkey breast that night and chicken and broccoli and some steak and broccoli.

[1255] One detour, which I think is interesting, is she's such a gym rat that it's emasculating to Aaron, which is a very interesting, fun dynamic I thought, to explore, which is they go to the gym together, like, yeah, let's go to the gym together.

[1256] And then Aaron's like, fuck me, man, she's, I'm taking weight off.

[1257] Like, it's not a fun thing for a dude to have his way.

[1258] It shouldn't be, but culturally it feels a little weird.

[1259] Yeah, so when we go in the gym now, we kiss and we break off the exact opposite way.

[1260] And never the tween shall meet.

[1261] Yeah, and that's, no, and it's all.

[1262] I wish I didn't feel like that, but I do.

[1263] And who cares?

[1264] We're both there getting a workout.

[1265] It's good.

[1266] I mean, she's keeping him accountable just, being someone who is into fitness.

[1267] Same with Eric and Charlie.

[1268] They keep each other accountable.

[1269] Perfect partner for Aaron to have.

[1270] But it's funny because I can hear that.

[1271] And then intellectually, I'm like, who gives a flying fuck?

[1272] You're just supposed to work out.

[1273] But most certainly if when I did squats and then Kristen stepped up and she said, well, you'd throw another plate on for me, it would feel stupid.

[1274] Yeah.

[1275] And I shouldn't, but I would.

[1276] I mean, I don't even like it if Charlie's lifting more than me. I'm like, oh, fuck.

[1277] I guess I'm going to have to hurt my back, just keep up with him.

[1278] But it's worth it of fucking run through these discs in my back.

[1279] I've got plenty to spare.

[1280] Yeah, I'm afraid when wait when my son starts.

[1281] Oh, yeah.

[1282] I'm like, oh, great.

[1283] I thought that was a detour.

[1284] Yeah.

[1285] It's interesting.

[1286] I mean, I'm...

[1287] Bored.

[1288] No, I'm not bored, but I don't know what to say.

[1289] I mean, I think it's awesome that she lifts like that.

[1290] And I don't want women to be like, oh, I have to be tiny, so I don't emasculate my boyfriend.

[1291] And I understand.

[1292] where everyone's coming from here.

[1293] I'm not trying to shame anyone.

[1294] And I also don't, I don't think it's a good idea to say that, you know, you know what I mean.

[1295] Yeah, I think it's, you don't want girls who pretend they're dumb in class so that the dumb boys don't feel even dumber.

[1296] You don't want that happening in the gym.

[1297] Yes.

[1298] Yeah, I don't either, but I think the way we, I think the way we get to that point is we all first acknowledge like, oh yeah, that's emasculating.

[1299] Why is that emasculating?

[1300] Why do I care?

[1301] What does it mean if my woman's stronger to me?

[1302] What does it mean to me?

[1303] Not it is emasculating.

[1304] It feels emasculating because it's not inherently emasculating that she's strong.

[1305] No. It's just that you feel that way because society has told you that you're supposed to be way stronger or bigger or more powerful or whatever.

[1306] Yes.

[1307] And it all circles back to the primary rule of life if you want to be happy, which is your fitness has nothing to do with anyone else's.

[1308] Like, the notion you'd even compare yourself to Ruthie, Charlie, Wade, it's irrelevant.

[1309] Are you in better shape today than you were yesterday?

[1310] But, man, it's hard to not.

[1311] Yeah.

[1312] Even we were all working out.

[1313] And one of the things I'm most grateful for in life is that our friendship circle happens exercise.

[1314] You have a funny exercise story, by the way.

[1315] Oh, my God.

[1316] I'm still sore.

[1317] I was watching Monica walk down the stairs last night, and it was one of the funniest thing.

[1318] I was like, oh, this is my new favorite character of yours.

[1319] For her to walk up the stairs, she had to crisscross her legs every time and do your hips really weird.

[1320] You looked like you were like a 90 -year -old little Grammy walking up the stairs.

[1321] That workout was on Thursday.

[1322] Yesterday was Sunday.

[1323] And it wasn't even, it was like a 25 -minute workout.

[1324] Yeah, it wasn't a big one.

[1325] It was a hit workout.

[1326] But for some reason...

[1327] You had not been working whatever muscles.

[1328] I have not been jumping.

[1329] I guess it was a ton of jumping, so my thighs are, they still hurt.

[1330] I don't know, you guys are all sweaty.

[1331] You were inside and you were all sweaty.

[1332] Yeah, it was hard.

[1333] I got to do more jumping.

[1334] Do you do a lot of jumping?

[1335] You do.

[1336] I was impressed by your jump the other day.

[1337] Oh, thank you.

[1338] Once again, I would have never done that, but Ryan did it.

[1339] Yeah.

[1340] And I was like, I can't live if Ryan can do something, I can't.

[1341] I'd rather be dead.

[1342] And it was worth going out the window.

[1343] Because as you recall, if you come up short, there was a counter in the garage, that was, I don't know what it was, three feet off the ground or something.

[1344] At least.

[1345] Yeah, it was pretty tall.

[1346] It was pretty good.

[1347] But at any rate, Ryan leapt up there, and I was like, ooh, that fucking looked impossible.

[1348] And then just on the other side of the counter is a huge picture of window.

[1349] So if you come up short and catch your toes on the edge of the counter, you're probably going straight through the plate glass window out into the side of a hill and then rolling down there.

[1350] It was probably a life or death without that being impressive of a trick.

[1351] Yeah.

[1352] But I just went over there quietly to myself to just prove, I was like, you fucking piece of shit, you're a piece of shit if you can't jump on this counter.

[1353] How do we stop this?

[1354] I'm serious.

[1355] I'm serious because, like, you know, Laura's boss last week, he fell off his balcony and died.

[1356] There's just no reason to do dumb shit.

[1357] Well, that's a, it's a huge bummer that her boss died.

[1358] And I don't know any of the details of how he died.

[1359] But I think a couple things are also true, which is competing with people also brings out the best in you.

[1360] Like, because I have all these younger friends, I kind of got to keep up, and that's probably going to benefit me over time.

[1361] Assuming I don't go through a plate glass window.

[1362] The second thing is I think I did so much dangerous shit drunk, you know, without my balance intact, that all this other stuff to me feels like nothing.

[1363] Okay.

[1364] You're still upset?

[1365] Yeah, I just wish people would just not do stuff.

[1366] They just chill.

[1367] Just chill.

[1368] I didn't even do it.

[1369] No. Didn't even happen.

[1370] Okay, so do we have an update from you?

[1371] Yeah, I'm 218 -ish.

[1372] 2 -18 -ish.

[1373] Wow.

[1374] 12 below starting point for the challenge.

[1375] So down 52 pounds.

[1376] Oh my, my goodness.

[1377] Oh my goodness.

[1378] Oh, fuck.

[1379] Mixed with my gratitude, that our group happens to exercise nearly every day, was also the acknowledgement that we also sit all day long.

[1380] That's what our group does.

[1381] So if we were not to work out, we'd probably all be dead of blood clots because we work out and then we sit down for the next 14 hours and play cars.

[1382] Yeah, that's true.

[1383] There's a swim in there, but it's a short swim.

[1384] It's a 10 minute swim.

[1385] There's maybe one or two trips down the water slide and then it's right back to sitting at that table.

[1386] So in a weird way.

[1387] Or in the hot tub, but then you're just sitting in the hot tub.

[1388] Yeah, we're probably net zero we didn't work out, but we, like, moved around a bit.

[1389] Right.

[1390] You said you feel normal at 220, right?

[1391] Or that's where you want to be.

[1392] Like 225, probably.

[1393] I've been trying to lose, so I'm down a little below that.

[1394] But I can pretty consistent 225 to 230.

[1395] I think what's happening with you is what happens with me and my hair and my facial hair, which is no matter what version I have of hair and facial hair.

[1396] I see a picture of myself.

[1397] The one photo in a thousand I looked handsome in, and I'll have long hair in whatever.

[1398] No beard or beard.

[1399] And I'm like, fuck.

[1400] I looked way better that way.

[1401] I looked terrible.

[1402] And I think you probably with your body do that.

[1403] Like you were 270 and you looked at some pictures of yourself cut at 230.

[1404] And you're like, oh, I think better cut.

[1405] And now you're kind of smaller.

[1406] Now you're like, now I'm a little boy.

[1407] And now I'm going to be a big boy again.

[1408] He's just withering away to nothing at 217.

[1409] I want to get down.

[1410] maybe to 210.

[1411] I'd love to meet you at 210 so we can take a picture together.

[1412] Because 210's going to look bunch better on you than me, so I'd love to get a side -by -side.

[1413] Kind of similar to you and Aaron both being 270 was a funny kind of a little bit.

[1414] Two different versions of 270.

[1415] Bodies are so different.

[1416] That's what's beautiful about them.

[1417] I know.

[1418] We love bodies.

[1419] I want to get down so I can go back up for the winter.

[1420] Yeah.

[1421] By the way, we could kind of do another round because you kind of want to get to like 250.

[1422] Maybe $255 .255.

[1423] But that's crazy to go from $2 .10 to $255.

[1424] And Aaron's got to go from $269 to $255.

[1425] Maybe we got to set like a weight that's both people have to go 20 pounds or 25 pounds.

[1426] Yeah, maybe they don't have to hit the same.

[1427] Right.

[1428] Although that made it so exciting.

[1429] It did make it exciting.

[1430] Yeah.

[1431] But we can't ask Aaron to go back up to $300.

[1432] Also, we're going to have to give Aaron's Delta to get.

[1433] Because part of the recipe last time was COVID.

[1434] So are you going to have to.

[1435] have to get Delta the last week of the contest.

[1436] What if you start collecting foreign pathogens?

[1437] Right.

[1438] You're out of That's my technique.

[1439] I'm trying to remember the last time I caught a whiff of 250.

[1440] Do you think if you lived out here, you could do it way easier?

[1441] Yeah, I think if I even had a group of you guys at home.

[1442] Yeah.

[1443] It's not super easy because of Ruthie.

[1444] Yeah.

[1445] Because I don't want to just sit there.

[1446] Well, She's working out.

[1447] But I'm not accountable to anybody else.

[1448] Yeah.

[1449] It's wild how strong community is.

[1450] Like, we naturally don't want to be out of step with whoever we're around.

[1451] Yeah, yeah.

[1452] When I booked the plane ticket out here a few weeks ago, then I kind of said, all right, enough's enough.

[1453] And Murthy goes, oh, my God, the way you're going, you might be 270 again by the time we go to L .A. And it happened, yeah.

[1454] I was two, yeah, 73 the day before I left.

[1455] Oh.

[1456] That's incredible.

[1457] Do you want to tell us some facts?

[1458] Oh, sure.

[1459] Okay, there aren't that many.

[1460] So the first fact I have here is that I had a dream about Matt Damon last night.

[1461] Oh.

[1462] Tell me why, and why do you think you had it?

[1463] Well, I guess he's on my mind.

[1464] He's been on my mind.

[1465] For 30 years?

[1466] For 34 years.

[1467] Hold on a second.

[1468] When does just come out Monday?

[1469] No, no, Thursday.

[1470] Oh.

[1471] I just want everyone to know.

[1472] We're in a countdown right now to Monica's birthday, August 24th.

[1473] She gave me 34.

[1474] It's your moon birthday because four and four.

[1475] Oh my God.

[1476] 34 and 24.

[1477] What do they call that?

[1478] Huh?

[1479] Huh?

[1480] No, that's he talking about.

[1481] When you're the same age as your birthday.

[1482] No, that's a golden birthday, but that was when I was 24.

[1483] No, but if you have a four in it, it's a platinum birthday.

[1484] Oh.

[1485] This is Monica's platinum birthday, but yeah, when she's 10 years past her moon.

[1486] It's the most complicated.

[1487] Ten years past the golden.

[1488] Yes.

[1489] Okay.

[1490] You were 12 on your platinum?

[1491] Yeah.

[1492] Oh, my God.

[1493] Best year in my life.

[1494] Oh, that makes so much sense.

[1495] Oh, my God, Monica, you're getting the fucking best year of your life.

[1496] That's one funny thing.

[1497] One last thing before the updates.

[1498] Just one more thing that happened on the trip, we realize.

[1499] So, as we've talked to, about in here.

[1500] The only time I've ever had a pregnancy scare where I had to go with my girlfriend and get a pregnancy test at the fucking grocery, well, a Perry drugstore.

[1501] I was in seventh grade.

[1502] I was 12.

[1503] She was in ninth grade.

[1504] We had a pregnancy scare.

[1505] So we just figured out on this trip that fucking Charlie would be my son's age.

[1506] And we were thinking how proud I would be of fucking Charlie was my son.

[1507] Oh, God.

[1508] We went everywhere together and people assume we were friends.

[1509] I'm like, this is my son.

[1510] be happy.

[1511] This is my, look how beautiful my grandson, Wilder is.

[1512] Most beautiful grandson.

[1513] Can you believe these are my jeans?

[1514] I would be like, what a feather in my cap to have Charlie as my son and Wilder is my grandson.

[1515] He really took a leap from he would be your age to its head.

[1516] Yes.

[1517] Dax knew this 10 years ago and he's been befriended me to get to know me first before breaking the news.

[1518] I'm his missing dad and I, but I wanted to like earn it.

[1519] I didn't want to just show up and be like, I know I haven't been around, but now I'm here.

[1520] I want to be like, let's just be bros, and then P .S., I'm also your father.

[1521] And I love you to death, and I'd die for you.

[1522] And you've made me so proud because you look so good.

[1523] Now I know how Bill Gates' parents feel.

[1524] Matt Damon, what was your Matt Damon dream?

[1525] I just ran into him at a party, and I was.

[1526] wearing yellow and he was wearing yellow.

[1527] Oh my gosh.

[1528] And I went up to him and I said, hey, like, because we know each other now.

[1529] Yeah, you kiss your head.

[1530] Yeah.

[1531] And he was like, it's like, hey, like he was a little upset by the interview.

[1532] Oh.

[1533] He was like, it turned out okay.

[1534] Oh my gosh.

[1535] No, it turned out really I know.

[1536] I know.

[1537] Well, I said, I said, were you happy with how it turned out?

[1538] He's like, yeah, it was okay.

[1539] Oh.

[1540] But then later at the end of the night, he invited me into his car.

[1541] No. Yeah, and he had a really fancy car.

[1542] It was like a Lamborghini.

[1543] Oh, my God, he was driving a Lamborghini.

[1544] He would look so silly getting out of a Lamborghini.

[1545] That's not the car for him.

[1546] It's not, it's not.

[1547] But I loved it.

[1548] And then he just wanted to chat.

[1549] He was like being nice again.

[1550] He was like doing the thing he did here.

[1551] This is in such keeping with your narrative.

[1552] And he invited me in the car and we chatted.

[1553] But nothing happened.

[1554] Nothing happened.

[1555] I know, but can I tell you a quick hack with dudes?

[1556] If they invite you into your car, it's to make out.

[1557] They don't want to chat about the episode.

[1558] No, he didn't want to make out.

[1559] He was ready for me to get out of the car when I did.

[1560] Would either of you ever invite a girl into your car at night after a party if you didn't have romantic intentions?

[1561] No, no. I would never because I would be afraid she would think I had romantic.

[1562] Well, I was confused.

[1563] I was confused in my dream.

[1564] Yes, but this is in keeping with you not recognizing when people are in love with you.

[1565] I just want to say it even exists in your dreams.

[1566] Like, that's the most clear sign he wants to make out.

[1567] Why do you come to my car with me after this party?

[1568] No, no, no, okay.

[1569] That's not really how it went.

[1570] It's a chat.

[1571] I was walking by the car and he was getting in.

[1572] He was leaving.

[1573] Even crazier.

[1574] Hey, you want to hop in?

[1575] I'm leaving.

[1576] Oh, no. Friend.

[1577] Want to come sleep on my couch and have Plutonic conversation tonight?

[1578] Well, you would do that.

[1579] You're married and you have people over at your house.

[1580] He's married.

[1581] I have multiple people over.

[1582] I don't have any females into my car at night after parties.

[1583] Ever.

[1584] All right, well, he's not like you.

[1585] Okay.

[1586] And he just wanted to chat.

[1587] Uh -huh.

[1588] Anyway.

[1589] Were you in the car?

[1590] Were you trying to get something romantic going?

[1591] I mean, kind of.

[1592] Like, I was like, what's happening?

[1593] See, you knew.

[1594] That I wondered, but then he was like, okay, bye.

[1595] He was ready for me to leave.

[1596] This version of him sucks.

[1597] He hated the interview.

[1598] He drives a Lamborghini, and he doesn't fucking hook up with a girl he invites into his car.

[1599] What a bozo.

[1600] You would have liked his car.

[1601] It was yellow, too, just like our outfits.

[1602] Fucking yellow Lamborghini.

[1603] Yellow Lamborghini?

[1604] What's a 11 years old?

[1605] I think you recently said if you're going to get a Lamborghini, you have to get in yellow.

[1606] No, I said if you're going to get a Ferrari, you've got to get it in red.

[1607] Oh, okay.

[1608] To me, that's the exact same thing.

[1609] What were we in talking about?

[1610] Because that made a real, that was a good analogy at the time.

[1611] I don't know.

[1612] Okay.

[1613] I don't know.

[1614] Okay.

[1615] Okay, is Kate Kapshot in Temple of Doom?

[1616] Yes.

[1617] Thank God.

[1618] Yeah.

[1619] Okay, good.

[1620] Well, these guys weren't there.

[1621] Let me just fill you in.

[1622] She was talking about being Indian and going to Temple of Doom and they go to India and they eat a boa constrictor.

[1623] And everyone's like, oh, gross.

[1624] The boat constrictor.

[1625] She's like, no one eats fucking bolt constern.

[1626] They don't eat it in hell.

[1627] Oh, my God.

[1628] Yeah, exactly.

[1629] I bet boat constrictor is pretty fucking.

[1630] good because people like Rattlesnake.

[1631] If Rattelan's good, bow constrictors got to be delicious because it's six times the size.

[1632] But don't you think it's tougher?

[1633] Might be tougher.

[1634] I hope.

[1635] But the problem with Rattlesnake is there's so many bones, so maybe there's fewer bones in that constrictor.

[1636] Or there's more meat in between them.

[1637] We were camping and one slithered out.

[1638] No. I happened to have a machete on my dog.

[1639] No. And I hacked it off.

[1640] Come on.

[1641] The head off.

[1642] No. And then I kind of felt bad so I skinned it and cooked it in a skillet.

[1643] What?

[1644] When did this?

[1645] after a couple of years ago.

[1646] You fucking field dressed a rattlesnake?

[1647] Two of them.

[1648] What?

[1649] Now there's two.

[1650] Well, so the first one was in our camp.

[1651] And what were you up there for?

[1652] The first one was in our camp, and it was at night.

[1653] So it was just kind of cruising through.

[1654] Went into a bush.

[1655] I waited until it came out.

[1656] Oh, wow.

[1657] And then the next day, there were like a group of girls camping at another site, and they started screaming.

[1658] Oh, wow.

[1659] I got a rattlesnake.

[1660] This is the dream.

[1661] This is the dream.

[1662] Well, so of course, I'm like, I did this last night.

[1663] Let me take my shirt off and grab my machete.

[1664] Well, I didn't have it on.

[1665] Of course.

[1666] Didn't bring one.

[1667] Didn't bring one.

[1668] We're camping after all.

[1669] I think one of the kids asked me that this week on the trip if you had brought any shirts.

[1670] I'm like, I hope not.

[1671] I brought one in case something crazy happened.

[1672] I walked over with my machete and this thing was going wild.

[1673] Wow.

[1674] So I'm like, ah, I don't know about this.

[1675] But, you're a little above your pay grade.

[1676] I was way above my pain.

[1677] I ran out of tail.

[1678] I waded it out and was in the bush and just went for it and got it.

[1679] Oh, my God.

[1680] This is incredible.

[1681] I didn't know this chapter of your life.

[1682] And they wanted to keep the head, so I gave them the head.

[1683] Did you cook that one?

[1684] Yeah, skin didn't cook it.

[1685] How gross is it pulling that skin backwards?

[1686] It comes off like a candy wrapper.

[1687] You're kidding.

[1688] And what do you deal with all the organs and shit?

[1689] Don't deal with those.

[1690] Just you kind of like gutting a fish right down.

[1691] the middle.

[1692] And it just, get out of here.

[1693] Oh, my God, that reminds me my fish.

[1694] It, it, it, it twitches and spasms in the pan.

[1695] It's really exciting.

[1696] Wow.

[1697] And how did it taste?

[1698] Did you have seasoning?

[1699] I cooked it in bacon.

[1700] Oh, my God.

[1701] Salt pepper and bacon.

[1702] This is the most masculine story I've ever heard of my life.

[1703] And it's a thousand percent of story, Aaron and I would get going on on mushrooms.

[1704] Like, I want to eat a rattlesnake in bacon grease.

[1705] This would be one of our dumb fantasies on Mushrooms.

[1706] I think I still have the skins.

[1707] Oh my gosh.

[1708] And so what was the taste out of ten?

[1709] The bones got in, though.

[1710] A lot of bones.

[1711] The taste was like chicken.

[1712] It was.

[1713] Pretty plain.

[1714] Okay.

[1715] Just so many bones.

[1716] So many chicken bones.

[1717] So many chicken bones.

[1718] Too many, they must eat in a dozen chickens.

[1719] Did you Google how to do it, or you just knew?

[1720] No service out there.

[1721] We were camping.

[1722] Life or death.

[1723] What, it could have been poisonous.

[1724] I did think for a second that I, It could be getting some venom sac.

[1725] Of course.

[1726] Was it obvious where those...

[1727] I think it's all held in their head.

[1728] I thought it was all in the head.

[1729] You hope.

[1730] And turns out it was.

[1731] Turns out it was.

[1732] What if you served that, you and Ryan, you guys were dead ten minutes later?

[1733] Ryan might have been there.

[1734] And the fucking rattlesnakes got the last laugh.

[1735] Ryan is probably there.

[1736] This is kind of about the jumping on the thing.

[1737] Yeah.

[1738] It was risky.

[1739] Well, the first one wasn't so risky.

[1740] Second one...

[1741] It was dicey.

[1742] You'll dicey.

[1743] Nate has a great story about that where he's in his house as a teenager and his sister comes in screaming and there's a rattlesnake in the garage.

[1744] He goes out there and he gets a shovel and he's like looking at this rails and he's gonna fucking chop his head off and he swings the shovel as hard as he swings the shovel so hard he falls down he hits the rattlesnake with a shovel but doesn't kill it now that thing's flying all over time and space it's like somehow they can get airborne and it's going and he's now on the ground and he's wearing boxer shorts and he's just swinging the shovel around on his back.

[1745] I'm like, this is great.

[1746] I bet so many people lose the fight to a rattlesnake.

[1747] Because I've only heard a few stories, and it's always worse than you're expecting.

[1748] They do go crazy.

[1749] They're just flying through the air.

[1750] Oh, my God, and shaking that tail.

[1751] It's a trip.

[1752] I hate it.

[1753] Oh, my God.

[1754] And it was, I think, like, six feet long.

[1755] It was almost as tall as I was.

[1756] Oh, my God.

[1757] It's good, good evening.

[1758] Any more facts?

[1759] No. Oh, that's it.

[1760] That was it?

[1761] Yeah.

[1762] I do have a fish to get to, and Charlie has to pick up his child.

[1763] Okay, great.

[1764] What was it, 217, 216, 216, somewhere on there.

[1765] Sub 220.

[1766] All right, we're doing great.

[1767] Proud of you guys.

[1768] And we may have the track laid.

[1769] I didn't know what it could be a second round, but I feel like we might have the track laid for another thing.

[1770] I kind of wanted to challenge that would make you guys better human beings.

[1771] That might not be as fun.

[1772] What would that be, like, reading books?

[1773] Yeah, like, um, quick to read.

[1774] like top 10 classics.

[1775] And then you got to come in here and you almost got to do a book report.

[1776] Like you got to tell me about it.

[1777] That's kind of fun.

[1778] because I thought it could be a cool way for all of us to learn about some classics.

[1779] Yeah.

[1780] And then like you guys would become better fathers, I guess.

[1781] I don't know.

[1782] You probably learned in a Hemingway book how to kill a rattlesnake properly.

[1783] You might pick up some life skills.

[1784] But yeah, I was thinking about classics.

[1785] And I was thinking, I don't know.

[1786] Because it's all about, like, self -improvement, the challenge as much as, it's not like weight.

[1787] No, no, I agree.

[1788] It's maybe, you know, mental health.

[1789] Maybe, like, first to get a certain score on the MENSA test.

[1790] Oh, my God.

[1791] Or first, you had to get self -actualized by a guru.

[1792] Oh, wow.

[1793] First to teleport.

[1794] I thought that the other day when we were driving home, I was like, when is that going to be a thing?

[1795] Like, I need that to be a thing now.

[1796] I know.

[1797] But you know what would happen to us?

[1798] It's the same as like, I'll say to my kids, I'll be like, I want to hear bang, bang, booty by poo -boo pants.

[1799] And I'm driving.

[1800] I'm like, okay, let me try to get, you know, and I'm like just barely trying to glance at and pull the thing up.

[1801] And if it takes 45 seconds for them to hear a song, they're apoplectic.

[1802] Daddy, I said a poo -poo -pans by dingleberries.

[1803] And you're like, yeah, I'm trying.

[1804] Like, they think they should hear any song they think of within 10 seconds.

[1805] And I'm kind of that way now, too.

[1806] So all this fucking thing did is make me even less patient.

[1807] The phone, yeah.

[1808] So I'm imagining this teleporting thing, like, I don't know, like something different would happen.

[1809] You'd teleport home, you'd like, oh, I'm so fucking bored, I wish I was in the car with everyone.

[1810] Something, it doesn't ever go the way we're expecting, I feel like.

[1811] No, that's true, but.

[1812] Like, let me tell you this.

[1813] Back before you could do anything, I feel like I was almost never impatient.

[1814] I was like, I'd love to see that movie.

[1815] Can't do it.

[1816] How would I see that movie?

[1817] Go find the VHS tape.

[1818] You never hated commercials until you had the option to skip them.

[1819] Yeah.

[1820] Now I fucking hate them.

[1821] I can't even imagine there being one.

[1822] No. I actually kind of, to be honest, feel the opposite.

[1823] Like, I used to hate commercials.

[1824] And now when they come, I'm like, oh, it's kind of a break.

[1825] Like, I'll go get like a drink.

[1826] It's my chance to go do something.

[1827] It's my chance because otherwise I just have to be like on.

[1828] Well, I have to observe this in my children.

[1829] They get pissed when I'm fast forwarding through commercials.

[1830] Like, yeah, why are you going through all the good commercials?

[1831] I'm like, guys, this, no, commercials, you don't want them.

[1832] You want the program, but they love the commercials.

[1833] Interesting.

[1834] Because they were denied them.

[1835] Exactly.

[1836] I think just the resting state of a human is annoyed or impatient.

[1837] I mean, that's true.

[1838] And we think something like teleportation will solve that.

[1839] No, it's just like homeostasis for a human being is desiring more.

[1840] Yeah, I think that's right.

[1841] But we could have just teleported straight to your house and hung out for an extra two and a half hours.

[1842] I think it also is a reinforcement of like, life isn't about getting anywhere.

[1843] Bear with me, because I can see that could be triggering.

[1844] But like Aaron and I had the time of our life on the way home.

[1845] The drive home for us was as good as the trip for me. We were blasting almond brothers essentials.

[1846] When your best friend is in the car, it's a little different.

[1847] I was by myself.

[1848] I know.

[1849] So just next time, you know, ride with us.

[1850] Then you won't want to be there.

[1851] All right.

[1852] Yeah, that's my solution.

[1853] It's a good solution.

[1854] I'm still interested in teleporting.

[1855] Well, I want to do it for, like, Formula One races.

[1856] Exactly.

[1857] Sunday morning, I wake up and take my sweet time getting ready, and then I hit a button and I'm at the race.

[1858] That sounds cool.

[1859] In your seat.

[1860] The other really cool thing about teleporting, the thing that I'm most drunk on, the notion of, is living in, on a ranch of 600 acres, and working in this addict every day.

[1861] Yeah.

[1862] That's the part that's crazy.

[1863] Like go home at night to acre.

[1864] That's $5 an acre.

[1865] And then also going like, I'm hungry for Emily Burr.

[1866] And your friend can, like, I can live across the street and still hang out with you every day.

[1867] Like, I can come to your house 3 ,000 miles away at any moment.

[1868] That's right.

[1869] You could have a best friend in Paris that you saw all the time.

[1870] The problem, though, we've already thought this through.

[1871] One of the major problems you run into is that, you know, you're, you know, you're You could never eat Emily Burger again.

[1872] Everyone in the world would teleport there for dinner to get that burger.

[1873] You fucking teleport and you look, and there's over 100 ,000 people there.

[1874] Well, you could order for pickup and just...

[1875] Oh, God, that's true.

[1876] Oh, poor postmates.

[1877] They're gone.

[1878] Because they can obviously teleport your sandwich to your house and they can teleport a human.

[1879] So like your fucking pizza parlor would just hit a button and be in your oven.

[1880] In your oven, yeah.

[1881] It creates a lot of jobs at those restaurants, so they've got to be cranking out food.

[1882] And the button makers, all these, everyone needs a button.

[1883] All 320 million Americans need a button in their house.

[1884] Multiple buttons.

[1885] You need a button in every room.

[1886] Everywhere you go.

[1887] Portable button.

[1888] Oh, the greatest thing, too, is like you could be at the baseball game and you got a shit.

[1889] You go right on.

[1890] Go to your bathroom.

[1891] Take a shit.

[1892] Pop right back to your seat.

[1893] Fuck, this is good.

[1894] See?

[1895] But again, you'd get so impatient.

[1896] Like, anything that couldn't happen at one second, you'd be furious.

[1897] Why aren't I eating Emily Burger right now?

[1898] Why aren't I swimming in Lake Superior right now?

[1899] You could be.

[1900] You could be.

[1901] See, what you could do is get teleported to Emily Burger, put your name on the wait list, because it is packed, and then you can immediately go to the Eiffel Tower and hang out, like have some cheese, have some cocktail and some cheese.

[1902] and then when they text you, you just teleport back.

[1903] That's true.

[1904] You're right about that.

[1905] It's going to be a lot of traffic at Emily Burger in Paris.

[1906] And in the air, I guess.

[1907] And every city's going to be deserted.

[1908] Not one person would live in a city.

[1909] They just hang in the city when they wanted to and get the fuck out of there when they didn't need it anymore.

[1910] Now that I think about it, I'd take back the ranch.

[1911] I'd live on, I think, Lake Michigan.

[1912] I'd swim every night in Lake Michigan.

[1913] Michigan, but I'd do all my other shit.

[1914] We could have a couple places, pop around.

[1915] Exactly.

[1916] Yeah, there's no point in everyone having a house in the same.

[1917] Yeah, we'd just diversify.

[1918] Okay.

[1919] All right.

[1920] Well, that was a little glimpse into our future.

[1921] On this episode of Future Talk.

[1922] Charlie, Aaron, Monica, Dax, and Wabiwob.

[1923] Love you guys.

[1924] Bye, guys.

[1925] Thank you.

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