243 - New Escape Rooms

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome.

[2] To my favorite murder.

[3] That's Georgia Hardstar.

[4] That's Karen Kier.

[5] That's Karen Kielgarif.

[6] This is a podcast.

[7] Kilgarth.

[8] Yeah.

[9] Did I get it right?

[10] Kilgariff.

[11] How's everybody doing?

[12] Fun times.

[13] Just good time.

[14] In a pandemic.

[15] What's up?

[16] You know, I think just a lot of escapism.

[17] I think, welcome to your podcast world.

[18] Uh -huh.

[19] You've put your earbuds in.

[20] your air buds in you've put your ear what do you call it on your beats by dray on your head that's right your 99 cent store cancer causing earphones that you're putting you just put in there that did there's some leftover ones your mom got for free at the bank for opening a checking account that one weekend throw them in you're in plug them in or maybe you're in your shower and you have your your shower radio oh you lucky how'd you get so rich mrs brookstone oh richy rich all right I guess you can listen to music in the shower.

[21] Enjoy.

[22] This feels like it's almost like podcasts are the new escape rooms because you can't go to escape rooms anymore.

[23] It's like the world is an escape room.

[24] That's right.

[25] And podcast is one of the, is a puzzle piece.

[26] Yes.

[27] This is hidden.

[28] This particular episode, the keys to it are hidden in a fake book that's up on a shelf way in the corner.

[29] That's right.

[30] But what book?

[31] You don't know.

[32] You have to solve this other.

[33] thing first to figure it out.

[34] You have to remember high school geometry to solve this clue to get to that thing.

[35] Sorry, I can't and now I'm mad and offended.

[36] That's right.

[37] So the one guy in the group who knows everything and everyone else goes, oh yeah, yeah.

[38] Oh, that's right.

[39] And pretends that they know it too.

[40] I don't know.

[41] I've actually never been in an escape room before.

[42] Thank God.

[43] I would love to go into an escape room and figure out who I know that, well, you already know the answer.

[44] And I'm sure the answer in my group of friends is me, but who the dominant psycho is because there are people who get into group situations and they can't not group managed because they had bad things happen in their childhood where nobody was in charge.

[45] Right.

[46] So they can't let a moment go by where that's not being produced and managed in some way.

[47] I'll be that person if no one else is.

[48] Yes.

[49] Which I think makes me that person.

[50] But like I did get invited to an escape room once with someone that I was like, no, I don't want to be in a room with that person.

[51] He's going to take control.

[52] And it's not going to be fun for anyone else.

[53] Like, I just fucking knew.

[54] He's a great guy to have drinks with or whatever, but like, no. It's the funniest thing when you, when the mask comes off in the escape room and you see what people who can or cannot handle.

[55] Like, it's like, this is no longer just a conceptual theory idea of a room.

[56] Yeah.

[57] This is now you and your dad and the old football problem from sophomore year.

[58] You're going to solve it in your 30s in front of everybody.

[59] I am the person, this is my character in it.

[60] And within three minutes, I give up.

[61] and want to go get drinks and I'm fucking over it and might have a panic attack because I'm locked in a room.

[62] Yeah.

[63] So I'm so much fun.

[64] I'm so much fun.

[65] Mine is I hang back.

[66] People begin to take over and then I get mad at how bad they've taken over.

[67] And so now I'm in a bad mood.

[68] I'm being sarcastic and then I take over.

[69] Yeah.

[70] Okay.

[71] As long as you add something.

[72] As long as you don't get mad and then don't add something to the as long as you fix it.

[73] As long as you bring some anger to the table.

[74] That's right.

[75] This is the spice of my personality, which is we could all just be standing around in a room laughing and trying to make it work.

[76] I'm going to bring in the dysfunctional family Thanksgiving vibe where suddenly people aren't talking to each other.

[77] There's real drama because why if it's, it can't just be an escape room.

[78] This should also be a psychological gauntlet.

[79] Is it like a game night?

[80] Are you like that on game nights too?

[81] No, I love game night.

[82] Game night.

[83] I just laugh and And I try to win.

[84] I try to be cash, but I'm definitely trying to win.

[85] Sure.

[86] What's the point of not trying to win?

[87] Remember the time we played over Zoom?

[88] We had a game.

[89] We were like trying out games.

[90] And I drew on my phone with my finger, drew a picture of Thanksgiving dinner so accurately.

[91] It blew everyone's mind.

[92] It was unfair.

[93] The games we played, we kind of was just doing experiment.

[94] We played a bunch of games.

[95] And like, you were so good at them.

[96] And yeah, the drawings you could make with your finger on their friends.

[97] fucking phone.

[98] But I've never known that about myself.

[99] It was almost like, I just wanted so badly to prove myself, like, I'm good at things and worth your time.

[100] I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.

[101] Because I was straight up stick figure.

[102] You can't even tell it's in like the hair, stick figure hair.

[103] Which is the fun of those types of games.

[104] It wasn't fun for me. Any kind of pictonary you don't enjoy.

[105] I think it's hilarious when it's like you're under the gun, what's, what's going to come out?

[106] You know what I mean?

[107] I like the game.

[108] I just don't like seeing how poor how poorly I perform at them.

[109] But it's fine.

[110] Yeah, I understand that.

[111] I understand that.

[112] So why don't you?

[113] What I'm saying is buckle down and draw Thanksgiving really accurately.

[114] Try it.

[115] Try it.

[116] I don't know how that happened.

[117] Everyone.

[118] Try it at drawing.

[119] It's harder than you think it is.

[120] Try.

[121] Just draw the concept of Thanksgiving.

[122] You have like 35 seconds.

[123] Texted to a friend.

[124] And say what?

[125] And then be like, what is this?

[126] What is this to you?

[127] Yeah.

[128] Because somehow all the sudden, my brain and my finger and everything connected and out came the most perfectly shaped turkey on the plus.

[129] I think it even had the little frill feet.

[130] You know, they put the little frill shoes on that look like chef's hats.

[131] That's how fucking detailed it was.

[132] I was into, I really just wanted, I don't know, I think that my self -esteem issues, that's how it comes up.

[133] That's how I choose to prove myself.

[134] Some people go to the gym every day.

[135] Somebody, some people do a lot of leg lifts.

[136] I save it and I save it and I save it.

[137] Until I have to draw a picture.

[138] picture of Thanksgiving.

[139] There was a time when Vince and I were just like doing competition Uno games constantly.

[140] Remember when we were on tour?

[141] And I just started bringing Uno with me. Yeah, you were into it.

[142] It was fun.

[143] It was.

[144] I don't know why we haven't done that.

[145] We've got to get back.

[146] Oh, I do.

[147] COVID quarantine.

[148] All of our lives have been because you guys have been doing cocaine.

[149] Cocaine together.

[150] What did you got?

[151] What are you watching?

[152] What are you reading?

[153] What are you eating?

[154] Let's see.

[155] I did a very, it's very healthy eating yesterday because I over the weekend had a dip of bad eating that made me feel so terrible.

[156] I was like, okay, you're too old to do this and there's a pandemic that everyone's health is at risk.

[157] Yeah.

[158] So what are you fucking around with?

[159] Like stop fucking around.

[160] I did that.

[161] I've been getting better over quarantine, but then there was like three steps back where I just went, it made me feel so terrible that I got my.

[162] act back together.

[163] Me too.

[164] And mine was Panda Express and McDonald's.

[165] I did those within a was McDonald's.

[166] Was it really?

[167] I was just like, how has it been, it's been almost a year since I've had McDonald's.

[168] There's spicy chicken nuggets now?

[169] What?

[170] And so one night just had to, had to.

[171] Yeah.

[172] I wonder if I got my McDonald's idea from your, you telling me about your McDonald's idea.

[173] Probably sold it from me. I remember you telling me, but you did it.

[174] And then it was just kind of like, it happened.

[175] I did it.

[176] And then it was.

[177] like the it was like a it was like shoots and ladders where it was like a straight downward shoot right down back to square one oh god it felt bad yeah suddenly you're off the board you're not even at square one anymore you're just in the toilet you kick the board and you made all the pieces go everywhere no one can find any pieces no one wants to play games anymore that's how it felt taste it was how were you it was good it was happening though I'm good let's see good for six minutes yeah yes I have a movie recommendation let's hear it okay there's this movie Jaws is it Jaws it's not Jaws okay it's not it's okay it's um TCM you know Turner Classic movies hell yeah always have great friend Millie works our friend Millie that's right well they put on and maybe it was her because she puts on the best movies is this documentary called the queen it's not about the Queen it's from 1968 and it's a documentary about the experience of the drag queens organizing and participating in the 1967 Miss All -America Camp Beauty Contest in New York City.

[178] And it's just a documentary following them from the first meeting to the rehearsals that do these fucking dance numbers that are incredible.

[179] It's them in the hotel rooms altogether getting ready and talking about their sexuality and their tips for drag queening.

[180] And it's so fucking good.

[181] And then the actual show, the show itself is almost like secondary.

[182] I'm pretty sure we spotted what's his name, Andy Warhol in the audience.

[183] Oh, I'm sure.

[184] I'm sure.

[185] It's just really, it's captivating.

[186] I wonder, oh, that's I wonder if, is Dorian Corey featured in that?

[187] Because she is the older drag queen that's in Paris is burning.

[188] That's like, and if you want to throw you a gold ring and you fly real high, you know that, that one?

[189] Yeah.

[190] Because she was around, she was one of the, I mean, that she's just like a legendary, a legendary queen.

[191] Oh, yeah.

[192] Wait.

[193] Great.

[194] The queen put drag on stage long before RuPaul's drag race and even Paris is burning with appearances from Andy Warhol, Edie Sedgwick, Dorian Corey.

[195] It's Franks, the movie's by Frank Simon.

[196] Yeah.

[197] Get it.

[198] You guys.

[199] I'm obsessed.

[200] Oh, I can't wait.

[201] Wait.

[202] So what, do you remember?

[203] What's the title again?

[204] The queen.

[205] Yeah.

[206] The queen.

[207] Okay.

[208] I have to watch that.

[209] Here's my favorite quote from Dorian, Corey.

[210] I always had hopes of being a big star.

[211] But as you get older, you aim a little lower.

[212] Everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world.

[213] Then you think, you've made a mark on the world if you just get through it.

[214] And a few people remember your name.

[215] Then you've left a mark.

[216] You don't have to bend the whole world.

[217] I think it's better just to enjoy it.

[218] Pay your dues and just enjoy it.

[219] And if you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you.

[220] Okay.

[221] Tattoo that on my entire back.

[222] her saying that in Paris is burning is the first time I saw it I got like 17 waves of chills it's the best philosophically accurate like hell yeah that's what it's all about how to live your life it it really is it really is do it you guys you and you're still in the shower you're really wasting water but oh my god I guess you're you're not from California where there's been a drought Shelley come on get out of the shower get out of the shower stop conditioning packing your hair it's all the same as regular condition Shelley short for Shelbert get out of the shower Shelley shaving your body from head to toe wrap it up okay so this week we're doing oh wait do you want to talk about MFM network updates well the one exciting thing is that if you so bananas the bananas boys have started a mini -sode episode of their podcast and it's only on Stitcher Premium So if you go to Stitcher Premium and sign up with using their code bananas, you can listen to them for free.

[223] Amazing.

[224] It's like a taste test for Stitcher Premium.

[225] And they're shorties too where they're just like playing.

[226] They're kind of doing like a hometown style where they're doing like what's the weird news that happened in your town, right?

[227] Yep.

[228] Yes, exactly.

[229] Such a great idea.

[230] Ooh, murder squad's doing the Ketty murders.

[231] Yeah.

[232] That's exciting.

[233] I know.

[234] Those are fucked up.

[235] There's a they wrapped up on the fall line.

[236] they wrapped up their Sam Little series.

[237] So if you didn't catch that the first time around, they did a four -part series about the serial killer Sam Little who got caught in Texas, who drew the pictures of all his victims.

[238] And he remembers them all in there's like 90.

[239] They think there's like over 90.

[240] Yeah.

[241] So many.

[242] And more potentially because it's just all in his head.

[243] It's a really interesting story about how they put the pieces together through DNA.

[244] And then he just started talking.

[245] And it's just that Texas Ranger and sat man to man with them and yeah.

[246] It's incredible.

[247] It's quite a story.

[248] And then for as far as merch goes, we have the, oh my God, I love this design so much.

[249] So a listener by the name of Rack Flan, R -C -S -L -A -N on Instagram, Rachel Flannery.

[250] That's right.

[251] She is so talented.

[252] We've been like loving her stuff forever.

[253] And so we are now bringing you her.

[254] You're in a cult call your dad, um, design.

[255] And it's freaking adorable.

[256] So cute.

[257] Yeah.

[258] So go to, um, the my favorite murder, um, store.

[259] Yeah.

[260] At my favorite murder.

[261] Uh, retail dot gov. Right?

[262] That's it.

[263] That's the name.

[264] That's it.

[265] That's all you need to know.

[266] That's the URL, everybody.

[267] Karen, you know.

[268] I'm all about vintage shopping.

[269] Absolutely.

[270] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[271] Exactly.

[272] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

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[284] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[285] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[286] Go to Shopify .com slash murder.

[287] to take your retail business to the next level today.

[288] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[289] Goodbye.

[290] All right.

[291] So should we introduce, this is going to be another quilt show.

[292] People are loving the quilts.

[293] That's right.

[294] Because I'm fucking taking my first little weekend away.

[295] Georgia's getting out of the house with her mask and her man. That's right.

[296] We're going out of town.

[297] We're going to sun our buns.

[298] It's just badly needed.

[299] It's going to be great.

[300] It's going to be great.

[301] Let's eat.

[302] Sorry, Stephen.

[303] which one of us goes first on this episode.

[304] Oh, yeah.

[305] I believe it's you, Karen, since last week was Adam Walsh.

[306] Oh, right.

[307] Right.

[308] Good one.

[309] So, okay, then in this quilt episode, we go all the way back to, correct me if I'm wrong, the first year of us touring 2017, right?

[310] Yeah.

[311] Well, because we started at the end of 2016, but, like, way at the end.

[312] And like, touring, touring was different than just...

[313] This was the first official tour, I believe.

[314] First official tour.

[315] So, yeah, it's March 25th, 20th.

[316] 2017.

[317] And this was the weekend.

[318] We were at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon.

[319] And the murderinos and the listeners showed up to win.

[320] They came to party.

[321] They came to get down.

[322] They came to fucking blow the roof off.

[323] And they did it.

[324] There was barfing.

[325] There was people crawling on the stage.

[326] It was legendary.

[327] I wish I could go back there now.

[328] God, it was fun.

[329] it was um so this is the episode the live episode where i cover the i5 killer randy woodfield at revolution hall in portland oregon march 25th 2017 enjoy who's first i think you're first because you got your page up do you want me actually stephen might have shit cute up stephen get on that janet jackson mike and tell us who's first this week uh i think that's karen's turn great wonderful listen i i took a fucking allergy pill i'm like i'm like i tried to prepare and I just you guys are it's real allergy here what's happening oh because of your nose to be like my nose is dripping on stage it's so embarrassing oh look girl I mean you know that's Broadway that's how it is it's just I yeah it's like come on can I just look okay anyways you know what you might want to do what is what Patty Lepone does you just shove Kleenex up your nose I dream to dream baby all right well um Um, my murder for Portland, Oregon is one you may know of, kind of famous, perhaps.

[330] It's the I -5 killer.

[331] Yes.

[332] I, man, you take on the big ones.

[333] Yes, that's my forte.

[334] That's my jam.

[335] Uh, I got most of this information from a Sports Illustrated article.

[336] Interestingly enough, that's interesting.

[337] A man named L. John.

[338] Worthyme wrote a really awesome article that's online.

[339] You can look it up.

[340] Don't look it up.

[341] And follow right along with me reading.

[342] But this is what I really like.

[343] On the website the Sports Illustrated website when I went to go read this story, because I'd actually read it a while ago and I went and found it.

[344] And on the website, it says, Sports Illustrated, Sports Investigated.

[345] Oh, no. Fucking look into it.

[346] It's with a sports perspective.

[347] I guess the sporting is the murdering.

[348] Did they get that?

[349] That that's what they're calling it a sport?

[350] I mean, I think what they're saying is you can wear a jersey as you look into true crime if you feel like.

[351] Dear Sports Illustrated, I was so offended when you had an audacity to call it out.

[352] And she has a black, oh no, is this a blackberry?

[353] I think she's a blackberry.

[354] Yeah, she uses a blackberry.

[355] Her name's Patricia.

[356] I'm calling her Patricia.

[357] Patricia, come on.

[358] Patricia, let him do his thing.

[359] You don't have to have an angry opinion all the time.

[360] Go ahead.

[361] But you can.

[362] But it helps.

[363] Randy Woodfield was born in Salem, Oregon, to a middle -class family.

[364] It's here for Salem.

[365] Really?

[366] Wow.

[367] Yep.

[368] This side, and this side.

[369] Oh, because of all the witches being hung.

[370] Oh, yeah.

[371] It's popular among his peers and a football star at Newport High School.

[372] Go Vikings.

[373] Is that true?

[374] I don't know.

[375] I'd be right.

[376] Have you got that right?

[377] I think it could.

[378] I could have just pulled that factoid out, but the chances are so slimped that I couldn't say that that's what I did.

[379] I don't want to know the truth.

[380] And we never will.

[381] At least not in this story.

[382] Okay.

[383] in high school Randy began to exhibit antisocial sexual behaviors not the social kind the anti -social kind not just plain Frenching that's not what he was about his first arrest for indecent exposure was hushed up by his football coaches so he wouldn't be kicked off the team priorities priorities priorities you gotta have those high school fucking football you gotta focus You got to move that ball down the field And you've got to make sure That a boy that pulls his penis out on a bridge And says everybody look at this Gets moved up in society Can you imagine if like a mathlete coach Was like I can't tell anyone about my creepy fucking Mathlete star over here Do you know?

[384] We need him Do you know how many quiz bowls Have been lost because of peeping Tom Jerk off boys We got to cover this up I don't want to turn that over So he graduated And then he went on to play for Portland State University And you guys aren't there Now it's...

[385] Oh, Randy!

[386] That's not what I was expecting.

[387] Randy!

[388] Right?

[389] He looks like Henry...

[390] He looks like the Fonz.

[391] Everyone's...

[392] Are people leaving?

[393] We're out of here.

[394] We don't like this old yearbook bullshit.

[395] Randy Woodfield was a wing right.

[396] He was, he was, he was, he was a white robin.

[397] What's a W .R.?

[398] Look at that.

[399] Good hands.

[400] Good hands.

[401] Cuts on a dime.

[402] Fluid and smooth.

[403] Catches well in a crowd.

[404] What?

[405] He was a good jumper.

[406] Murr.

[407] Randy, you're such a good jumper.

[408] It doesn't matter that you jerked off in front of.

[409] the cheerleading squad.

[410] He's a good jumper.

[411] Such a good jumper.

[412] So now there's a visual element.

[413] You're going to have to handle that and incorporate it into what was only an audio experience beforehand.

[414] Too much.

[415] You're asking too much.

[416] So at Portland State University, he was known for his devotion to the campus crusade for Christ.

[417] And the fellowship of Christian athletes.

[418] one of his teammates was quoted as saying it seemed real important to him that he came across as someone who would do the right thing it was almost like it was keeping him together I don't even bother trying to seem like I would do the right thing that's the secret and then I do it seems like the people who are trying to look like they're doing the right thing are doing the wrong thing a lot if you have to think really hard about what the right thing is and if you should do it then you've got a fucking issue if you also if you need a really old book to help you do the right thing Maybe you need to get some help in doing the right thing all the time.

[419] I don't want to start a thing.

[420] This isn't a, this isn't, Karen, Karen stirring the fucking shit.

[421] Different parade, different parade.

[422] I mean, you didn't come here for the Bible talk.

[423] Three more arrests in the early 70s for petty crimes, such as vandalism and public indecency, did not prevent Woodfield from being selected in the 1974 NFL draft by the Green Bay Packers as a wide receiver in the 17.

[424] round.

[425] Yeah.

[426] He jerked his way off to success.

[427] Randy, Randy.

[428] He signed a contract in February of 1974.

[429] And it stipulated that he keep himself in peak condition.

[430] He avoided consorting with gamblers.

[431] Then wear a coat and necktie anytime he was in public.

[432] And that's it.

[433] And he took it literally.

[434] And that was it.

[435] A coat and necktie?

[436] Oh, but when you're wearing the coat and necktie, no pants, as you have the top part on like porky pig we're good with you he looks like a detective who got into some capers and it's just yeah anyway he was like I'm so stressed out for my detective job I have to show everybody my balls that's Randy he was signed almost immediately and that money enabled him to quit his job at the Portland area burger chef no one gives a fuck about burger chef Randy was on the verge of playing in the NFL, but he was cut during training camp.

[437] He stayed in Wisconsin, and he played the 1974 season for the semi -pro Manitawak Chiefs.

[438] I think that's how you pronounce it.

[439] That's also the same city where they filmed Making a Murderer.

[440] Oh, yeah.

[441] Manitowic?

[442] Manitowah.

[443] So, after...

[444] So he basically stays in town, place for a semi -pro team but after a dozen flashing incidents across the state he fucking got in his car and took it all around Wisconsin.

[445] Oh my God.

[446] He's like I hate hotels when they don't have shampoo and also I show my dick off to everyone.

[447] Check out my dick.

[448] Junk out!

[449] I have a pile of junk for all of you to see.

[450] Oh, ew, you keep making it pile, a pile of junk something specifically.

[451] It was just piled up.

[452] Stop it, stop it!

[453] He was kind of, he would be at an angle, so it'd pile up.

[454] It's fun.

[455] It doesn't stay like that.

[456] I'm so glad my dad's not at this show.

[457] As one Wisconsin law enforcement officer recalled years later, Woodfield, quote, couldn't keep that thing in his pants.

[458] So he...

[459] So he left Wisconsin because he basically, got fired off of the semi -pro team because of all the flashing incidents and he went home to beautiful Portland then he would once he got back here he would show up at Portland State on occasion to work out with his old team what is sadder than that oh he's here again pretend that hey guys I don't know throw the ball around the middle never forget I guess I need a shower off now let's all shower off Should we shower?

[460] The coach at the time was quoted as saying he seemed like a nice kid, he was a good athlete, but one of the other players said, coach, don't get too close to that guy, he's strange.

[461] Finally, a voice of reason.

[462] So now simultaneously, and maybe coincidentally at the same time, in early 1975, in Dunaway Park and some, Southwest Portland, several women were sexually assaulted at knife point.

[463] So the Portland PD assigned female police officers to go undercover.

[464] What the fuck?

[465] It creeps me out so much when they do this.

[466] What?

[467] Because it's just like, hopefully, you know?

[468] Yeah.

[469] But I always love it because they're like, it's like, sure, I'll go dress up like a regular lady and walk around a park at night and then I'll fucking catch you.

[470] Yeah.

[471] Legally.

[472] I'll fucking shoot you in the new.

[473] Yeah.

[474] They know what to do.

[475] Okay.

[476] So, on March 3rd, 1975, a man wielding a paring knife darted out from behind some bushes demanding money from an undercover cop.

[477] The police converged, arrested the assailant.

[478] He identified himself as Randy Woodfield.

[479] Football star, extraordinary.

[480] He pled guilty to reduce charges of second -degree robbery and sentenced.

[481] He was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

[482] Wow.

[483] So retired Lieutenant Paul Weatherroy, a longtime Portland cold case detective, said there was a conventional wisdom back in the day that someone who was an exposer or a peeping Tom wouldn't elevate to more serious crimes.

[484] Based on no evidence whatsoever.

[485] Well, let me finish the quote.

[486] We've learned that nothing's further from the truth.

[487] So in a mere 30 years, they've put it together that actually it's just the beginning of something special.

[488] That's the exact opposite of that.

[489] So Woodfield was paroled in July of 1979 after serving four years.

[490] And his former PSU teammates threw him a party to celebrate his release.

[491] Come on.

[492] But some thought it's strange when the guest of honor arrived two and a half hours late.

[493] I read this, I read that sentence over and over.

[494] And I was like, because that's the bad part?

[495] the, that's weird.

[496] What the fuck?

[497] Yeah.

[498] I wasn't mad that he was showing his jigoff, but he's two hours late.

[499] He never wears pants, and that's fine.

[500] But tardy to the party?

[501] I don't think so.

[502] I don't think so, Randy.

[503] No. No. No. In jail for rape and attempted rape?

[504] Oh, well.

[505] Late to the party?

[506] You fuck yourself.

[507] Know your manners.

[508] Yeah.

[509] So at this same time, he gets out of jail, he starts cruising around Portland in a gold 1974 champagne edition Volkswagen Beetle.

[510] What is up?

[511] Almost like an homage.

[512] Almost like, it's like, it's so Ted Bundy.

[513] It's beyond Ted Bundy.

[514] I feel like Volkswagen needs to issue an apology for the 70s.

[515] You know?

[516] Like we didn't plan it.

[517] There's something like, you know.

[518] Yeah.

[519] There's just something about them.

[520] They're just easy to kill with.

[521] Perhaps.

[522] So Randy, he was kind of a visionary in a lot of ways because he, of course, he had a great amazing football player's body and he really enjoyed sending naked pictures of himself to women.

[523] Oh, they did that back then?

[524] This was the mid -70s, so he had to do it analog style.

[525] He had to do it the hard way and like wait around at the photomat.

[526] Photomat.

[527] Yeah.

[528] Are my pictures ready yet?

[529] Yeah.

[530] No, sir.

[531] He drives back around, that little thing.

[532] Just keeps driving around it in his gold Ted Bundymobile.

[533] He also submitted pictures to Playgirl magazine and had been waiting to find out if he was going to be chosen as the boy next door.

[534] Oh, my God.

[535] I mean, sorry to ruin Playgirl for you, girls, but...

[536] Wasn't Ted Bundy in like a...

[537] Yeah.

[538] The one where he's like on the bare rug or whatever?

[539] I think that might be a Photoshop.

[540] Oh, that's actually Tom you're thinking of it's it's actually Bert Reynolds yes yes yes two strikes okay that was just like that was just like us through the ages you just saw like how old I am how old Georgia is all right so then on October 9th 1980 a woman named Sherry Ayers is raped and murdered in Portland she's bludgeoned and stabbed repeatedly in the neck and it turned out that that Randy had gotten out of jail just in time to attend his 10th high school reunion in Newport, where he had reconnected with Sherry Ayers, and they had begun to see each other socially.

[541] He was questioned about that murder, but he refused to sit for a polygraph, and the homicide detectives found his answers generally evasive and deceptive, but because his blood type didn't match the seaman found in the victim's body, no charges could be filed.

[542] A month later, on early on Thanksgiving morning, Darcy Renee Fix, 22 years old, and Douglas Keith Altig, 24 years old, were shot to death execution style in Fix's North Portland home.

[543] And Fix's 32 caliber revolver was missing from the scene.

[544] And while Darcy had once dated one of Randy Woodfield's closest friends, they again could not connect him to the crime.

[545] So, now starts the I -5 bandit killing spree.

[546] On December 9th, 1980, a man wearing a fake beard held up a gas station in Vancouver, Washington, just across, as you know, from the Columbia River, from Portland.

[547] Karen, getting those.

[548] That paper mill.

[549] Oh, how does it smell?

[550] Maybe that's why I'm like, my nose is bleeding, basically.

[551] Because of the paper mill?

[552] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[553] It's just fucking fiberglass at my nastrols.

[554] I know someone that used to work there, and he said, that's the smell of money.

[555] Local jokes get local work.

[556] All right.

[557] Four nights later in Eugene, a man wearing a fake beard and athletic tape on his nose rated an ice cream parlor.

[558] The next night, a drive -in restaurant in nearby Albany was robbed by a bearded man. A week after that in Seattle, a gunman matching the same description, pinned down a 25 -year -old waitress inside a restroom and forced her to masturbate him, which is the worst sentence of all time.

[559] Just a bummer.

[560] Four weeks later, on the evening of January 18, 1981, and Kaiser, Sherry Hull was leaving the Transamerica office building after her cleaning shift.

[561] A man managed to get into the building, grabbed her, and walked her at gunpoint back inside.

[562] On their way down the hallway, he spots the other cleaner, 20 -year -old Lisa Garcia.

[563] He grabs both women, brings them into a backroom, orders.

[564] them to lay on the floor.

[565] After he rapes both of them, he shoots both of them twice in the back of the head.

[566] Sherry Hull dies, but Lisa Garcia survives.

[567] Yes.

[568] Isn't that fucking nuts?

[569] Yeah.

[570] She, fucking execution style gets shot in the back of the head, stands up and is like, I'm calling the fucking cops.

[571] Oh my God.

[572] Yeah.

[573] Very cool.

[574] So on February, February, February 3rd, sorry, 1981.

[575] Randy Woodfield called his sister in Shasta County and asked to have coffee with her, but she said that her husband didn't want him around.

[576] Because you're a fucking creep and we know it.

[577] Yeah.

[578] The family's like, we're not in tea.

[579] Soon after, Randy Woodfield forced his way into the Mountain Gate home of Donna Eckerd and her 14 -year -old daughter, Janelle.

[580] They were found dead, each shot twice in the back of the head.

[581] Lab test would reveal later that the girl had been sodomized.

[582] Their home was just off the I -5.

[583] And then earlier that same day, an 18 -year -old waitress was kidnapped and raped after a hold -up 15 miles south in Reddings.

[584] And the next day, a similar crime was reported 100 miles up the I -5 in Wierika, California.

[585] And then 10 days later, Randy Woodfield organized a Valentine's Day party for himself.

[586] Oh, no. At the Marriott Hotel in downtown Portland.

[587] What does that consist of?

[588] You guys don't fucking like that place.

[589] Picture it.

[590] Picture the decorations.

[591] A grown man throwing a Valentine's Day party for himself.

[592] Oh, my God.

[593] Himself.

[594] I barely even like Valentine's Day as a couple.

[595] I mean, no one likes it.

[596] No. He throws a party for himself on Valentine's Day, and here's the worst part, or maybe the best part, no one goes.

[597] No one goes.

[598] Oh, man. This is why you don't have birthday parties.

[599] Or kill people.

[600] Birthday parties, birthday parties are hard enough.

[601] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[602] You can't pick a random holiday and be like, you know what, this Easter's about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[603] Like, it doesn't work that way.

[604] Especially one that's like, everyone is like, well, I want to be with the person that I, like, bone.

[605] Yeah, Randy, I don't want to spend this day with.

[606] you, Randy.

[607] I don't love you.

[608] Yeah.

[609] I've never loved you.

[610] I played football with you.

[611] Yeah.

[612] My wife's like, who the fuck is this guy?

[613] I don't want to fucking be at his Marriott fucking Valentine's Day party.

[614] It's fucking psychotic.

[615] Because it's not like, let's all meet at a bar and have Valentine's Day about me. It's like, I've rented the grand ballroom at the Marriott.

[616] And I've hung streamers.

[617] Please come.

[618] All right.

[619] Will you be my...

[620] So, after...

[621] After that night and the humiliation, Randy Woodfield turns up on the doorstep of Julie Wright's home in Beaverton at 2 a .m. And around...

[622] Yay.

[623] No, yay for Beaverton, you're right.

[624] Don't be embarrassed.

[625] I know it's hard.

[626] It's hard sometimes.

[627] Now we have to go back into the horrible story.

[628] Around 4 a .m., Julie was...

[629] was shot.

[630] No, go ahead.

[631] That's basically the podcast.

[632] Now we have to go back with this horrible story.

[633] That's what it's called.

[634] That's the working title.

[635] Around 4 a .m., Julie is shot twice in the back of the head after being raped.

[636] Her body is found at 8 .30 a .m. by her mother.

[637] So police find that Julie knew her attacker because they had had a glass of wine.

[638] Oh.

[639] And they were planning on having coffee.

[640] There was instant coffee sitting on the counter and the water had boiled all the way down in the kettle.

[641] Um, and investigators soon find out that Julie knew Randy Woodfield because he worked as a bouncer at the Fawcert Tavern in Raleigh Hills and he'd, uh, many times overlooked that she had a fake ID and let her into learn anyway, because Julie was 14 years old.

[642] Oh my God.

[643] Yeah.

[644] So I'm glad we all clap for Biberton.

[645] Really good plan, you guys.

[646] Can you fucking imagine, like, someone knocks in the door and you.

[647] you look and it's like the bouncer at the fucking bar you sneak into, and you're just like, I don't really want to open the door, but it's the 80s, so I'm nice to everyone.

[648] I can't be rude.

[649] Yeah.

[650] He, well, he's done you all these favors.

[651] Yeah.

[652] So, like, I guess I can't just like.

[653] Hi, Randy, I heard about your Valentine's Day before you.

[654] I'm sorry I didn't go.

[655] I was washing my hair.

[656] I'm so sorry.

[657] Ugh.

[658] Buh.

[659] All right.

[660] So Marion County detectives interview Randy after this murder because his name keeps coming up and all of these murders he's somehow somehow affected, somehow connected so they search his home, his room actually where he's staying he's renting a room in a house and they only find gun cleaning materials but when his landlady shows up she shows them a lengthy phone bill with a trail of calls from San Francisco to Bethel Washington I don't know if that's how it's beautiful Bothel I said Like brothel, Washington.

[661] Which is just a few miles south.

[662] Like awful, which is how we pronounce every city in every state that we visit.

[663] So that's when they realize when they see all these calls going and all these cities straight up and down the five.

[664] They're like, we have a serial killer on our hands.

[665] Then they look up pay phone calling logs.

[666] And they connect.

[667] He was using, remember calling cards, everybody?

[668] Remember, hey, hey, oldies.

[669] Hey, remember when we used to use calling cards?

[670] You have 20 minutes left on this card.

[671] I remember.

[672] You were like, oh my God, this is like money.

[673] Don't lose it.

[674] But I need to talk to my boy.

[675] Do you miss me?

[676] So he used calling cards within a few miles of every.

[677] every, of the city of every murder.

[678] And that phone record was the final piece of evidence that they used to arrest Randy Woodfield.

[679] And Detective Dave Bishop says, all of a sudden became obvious.

[680] It was a map of I -5.

[681] Randy Woodfield was addicted to the phone, and he made thousands of calls.

[682] But when he called women, some of them turned him down, and that made him mad.

[683] And within minutes, he would find a victim.

[684] Some he knew, and some he did not.

[685] so at the trial fucking Lisa Garcia was the key witness she tells the jury about the night in the Transamerica office building she said that the man that they see in the courtroom was the same one who raped and shot her and raped and murdered her co -worker it took the jury three and a half hours to reach its verdict of guilty yeah so in June oh yeah oh yeah some of you are like like, I don't know.

[686] Is it weird that I...

[687] I feel like I could change it.

[688] On June 26, 1981, Randy Woodfield was convicted on all counts.

[689] There was no death penalty option in Oregon, so he was sentenced to a prison term of life plus 90 years at the Oregon State Penitentiary.

[690] That December, 35 more years were added to his sentence when a jury in Benton, Oregon, convicted him of sodomy and weapons charges tied to another tack in a restaurant bathroom.

[691] Randy Woodfield has always maintained his innocence.

[692] Please, dude.

[693] This 2006 quote from Randy's MySpace page...

[694] Oh, my God.

[695] Wow.

[696] That was a lot of information at once.

[697] He's still alive.

[698] He has a MySpace page.

[699] What if I just started reading a third -eye blind lyrics?

[700] I don't think you're allowed to smoke in Oregon prisons, but you can have a fucking MySpace page?

[701] People need to express themselves on a black background with green writing.

[702] Yeah, I mean, I want to know who your top eight are.

[703] Is it your cellmate?

[704] Because he's going to be pissed if it's not right.

[705] You better bump him up there.

[706] He's like, I love phones and myself and parties.

[707] This 2006 quote from Randy's MySpace page is the closest he's ever come to taking ownership of his past.

[708] Quote, I spend the remainder of my days in prison because I have committed.

[709] a murderer, along with many other crimes.

[710] I once tried out for the Green Bay Packers.

[711] The only reason I didn't make it is because the skills I had to offer they didn't need at the time.

[712] I am loved, deeply loved, so loved, I could fill a Marriott Ballroom with how many people who loved me. In 2012, Woodfield was definitively linked to five more murders, three in the Portland area, and two in California's Shasta County.

[713] That's your I -5 killer, everybody.

[714] We're back in it.

[715] And we're back in 2020.

[716] Back in 2020.

[717] I wish we could have warned ourselves during that.

[718] Your show just now to watch the fuck out for 2020.

[719] I would have, you know what I would have done, Georgia is after our show, I remember us all going to a bar together because we had, you had friends in town, I had friends in town.

[720] We all went to a bar.

[721] We had a great time.

[722] We met people.

[723] We chatted.

[724] We got to bunker down.

[725] I would have whispered in my ear, travel back in time, whisper in my ear, go to a different bar, go to other places, stay out all night long, go, just go do stuff, walk by the river, like, get away from these people, go to a different bar right now, go to a different, these people are dragging you down.

[726] If you go to a different bar right now, COVID might not happen.

[727] That's what you meant like you could change time.

[728] Step on a different butterfly.

[729] No, no, no, I just meant like, go enjoy yourself.

[730] I keep watching things.

[731] There was some video on Twitter the other day of people at a concert and something funny happened.

[732] But I was just like, concerts.

[733] And I, you know me. I'm like, can take them or leave them and usually leave them.

[734] And now I'm like, please.

[735] Concerts.

[736] I know.

[737] Concerts.

[738] So sound.

[739] I miss putting an outfit together.

[740] God damn.

[741] You know?

[742] Yeah.

[743] I do.

[744] Because I've been wearing the same black shirt for two years now.

[745] Me too.

[746] I never thought I'd get sick of house dresses.

[747] But look at me now.

[748] You're there.

[749] Sick of house dresses.

[750] Okay.

[751] Okay.

[752] For my episode, we're going to go all the way over to Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[753] Always a great time we have at live shows there.

[754] We were at the University of Minnesota at the Northorp Auditorium on October 18th, 2017.

[755] And I cover the murder of Carol Thompson, aka the story that inspired Fargo.

[756] So enjoy.

[757] So who do we?

[758] It's you.

[759] Okay.

[760] Stephen emailed and told us.

[761] He did?

[762] Yeah.

[763] Well, I didn't look.

[764] Yeah.

[765] Well, great.

[766] I'm glad one of us pays attention.

[767] Stephen.

[768] Stephen.

[769] Okay.

[770] This, ladies and gentlemen, is the murder of Carol Thompson.

[771] Real quick.

[772] For the newbies.

[773] Oh, right.

[774] We are not cheering for the murder of Carol Thompson.

[775] That's not what's happening right now.

[776] It's important to us that you understand.

[777] We are not a pro -mer.

[778] podcast.

[779] Quite the opposite, in fact.

[780] Quite the opposite.

[781] Yeah.

[782] And there's a reason I didn't say this is the story of her husband.

[783] I said it's of the Vic.

[784] Okay, anyways, you got it.

[785] You got it.

[786] Okay.

[787] In 1963, Karen, Carol Suaboda Thompson, she's a 34 -year -old housewife, mother of four young children, ages 6 to 13, and she's the only child of a respected St. Paul plumbing contractor, and they have a lot of money.

[788] And she's married for 50 years.

[789] 15 years to an up -and -coming attorney named T. Eugene Thompson.

[790] He's 35.

[791] He's born in Blue Earth, Minnesota, which sounds rural because one person quietly wooed.

[792] That was the mayor.

[793] Coming down to represent Blue Earth.

[794] The mayor and the one person who lives there.

[795] All right, so Carol is kind of the prototypical 60s, 50s, 60s housewife.

[796] She's this lovely woman.

[797] She's really active in her Presbyterian church.

[798] She's active in the scouts for her kids and does all of those sorts of things.

[799] She plays bridges with her friends, that adorable kind of thing.

[800] They get together for coffee parties, which probably, they'll probably pour it a little in there.

[801] I think so?

[802] I would.

[803] I mean, coffee parties sound like a blast and everything, but.

[804] Get it going.

[805] Let's get the party part in there.

[806] Let's do it.

[807] She did all the normal things early 1960s housewives did.

[808] so when she was brutally murdered at the Highland Park family home on the morning of March 6, 1963, the city was fucking shocked because this kind of thing didn't happen and this family was well known in the neighborhood or in the town because of the attorney -husband and this lovely woman.

[809] So that's March 6, 1963.

[810] Her killer surprised her in her bedroom.

[811] She was home alone.

[812] Killer surprised her in her bedroom and struck her over the head with a piece of rubber hose.

[813] And then when she passed out, he attempted to drown her to make it look like she accidentally drowned.

[814] Oh.

[815] That fucking Carol is a badass motherfucker because that didn't work.

[816] So she came to and she like fought him off and started to run through the house.

[817] Then he tries to shoot her.

[818] The gun misfires.

[819] Then he beats her up with the butt of a luger pistol and stabs her in the neck with a kitchen knife, but she still fucking survives.

[820] Jesus Christ.

[821] I know.

[822] He goes, he thinks she's dead, he goes to wash his hands and, like, clean up, and she fucking runs to her next door with a fucking knife in her neck.

[823] Whoa.

[824] With a knife in her neck?

[825] Sorry, with a knife in her neck.

[826] We should all be so badass.

[827] That's amazing.

[828] I know.

[829] So she staggers to the neighbor's house.

[830] The neighbor answers the door, finds Carol, who's unrecognizable because of the blood.

[831] She's barefoot.

[832] She says, I've got a knife in my throat.

[833] A man did it.

[834] He came to the door, and this is the most 1960s saying I've ever heard, won't you please help me?

[835] I know.

[836] Also, just that poor neighbor.

[837] I mean, like, she's having her own private coffee party inside.

[838] Chilling, minding her business, 60's housewife style.

[839] Vacuuming for the fourth time that day.

[840] Just getting those, Pills taken.

[841] Hoovering.

[842] They called it hoovering.

[843] Making everything nice and neat.

[844] And then there's a knock at the door.

[845] Oh, God.

[846] Horrible.

[847] Don't ever answer it.

[848] Well, that's not true.

[849] Never mind.

[850] Carol's rushed to anchor hospital, and the surgeons took the blade from her throat, worked on her, but she died three hours later.

[851] Oh, no, poor baby.

[852] And then the people were panicking.

[853] Her husband, when he finds out, is bawling.

[854] people were panicking and there's no arrest made for several weeks so people were like and it's one of those things in the city where it's like we didn't think this happened in our city to these kinds of people as everyone who this ever happens to says yeah um in la we're like yeah this happens happens all the time to all of us constantly constantly everywhere you look yeah we're like why didn't it happen today what's wrong we're all the bad people in one spot yeah um So then the evidence that's left up at the scene is pieces of the pistol's grip, which had broken off during the attack.

[855] And those are traced.

[856] Oh, wait, do you want to see pictures?

[857] So this is, I have a photo of the family.

[858] There we go.

[859] I know.

[860] She looks almost exactly like June Cleaver.

[861] That's like, it's so typical.

[862] And then we have a photo of her and her husband, T. Eugene Thompson, at their wedding.

[863] I know.

[864] it's just to bum you guys out real quick.

[865] That's what they're here for.

[866] Hey, me too.

[867] So the evidence of the pistol grip that's broken off left at the scene, it leads investigators that gun part to in April to an ex -convict from Michigan.

[868] You guys love that place.

[869] Yeah, why are you holding up?

[870] His name is Dick W .C. Anderson.

[871] He's a troubled Korean War combat vet.

[872] He confesses to the murder that he did it.

[873] But He said he was hired by former Twin Cities Prizefighter underworld figure named Norman J. Mastrian.

[874] When Norman's question, the guy who hired this dude, he reveals that he had been hired by Carol's husband to Eugene Thompson to murder Carol for three grand.

[875] Well, it was the late 60s.

[876] So that would be a 10 grand today.

[877] They're not witting over that, I don't think.

[878] Yeah.

[879] And this is a really nice paper, by the way.

[880] I just want to thank you.

[881] Can we have a moment of positivity?

[882] This is absolutely gorgeous paper.

[883] I realize.

[884] Very high quality items, you guys.

[885] I realized, as I was saying that, when in any appropriate time it was to say that.

[886] I support it.

[887] But that's this podcast.

[888] Yeah, I mean, pretty much.

[889] ADD.

[890] Central.

[891] Okay, $3 ,000.

[892] So Swanson says that Mr. Thompson and carefully mastermind the hit, including getting...

[893] Okay, so he, fucking, on Valentine's Day, they have this really cute, yappy little doxon, and he's like, we're getting rid of the dog and fucking takes the dog and, like, gives it away on Valentine's Day.

[894] Just randomly?

[895] Just to get rid of the dog so the dude could break in.

[896] I know.

[897] Wow.

[898] And the morning of, he takes the telephone out of the bedroom.

[899] Yeah.

[900] Warning signs, everybody.

[901] Keep your eyes peeled.

[902] Yeah.

[903] Definitely.

[904] I know.

[905] Oh, sorry, we just have to get this phone fixed.

[906] I just have to bring the phone in to get...

[907] It's not broken, honey.

[908] Now it...

[909] Oh, now it's...

[910] Oh, here we go.

[911] Yep.

[912] Okay.

[913] So, also Norman Mastrian, he's a local convict.

[914] He had been involved in the murder of an underworld type years earlier.

[915] And the person who represented him is T. Eugene Thompson.

[916] husband who is an attorney.

[917] Oh, so there's a connection.

[918] Maybe like a dirty defense attorney?

[919] Exactly.

[920] Got it?

[921] Or, you know, has connections to these types of people.

[922] So, according to a bunch of underworld sources, which I love that just like...

[923] The Minneapolis Underworld.

[924] I would love to study it.

[925] You know, that word is just so like, oh, yeah, we all know.

[926] Yeah.

[927] Black market snow.

[928] The underworld.

[929] You know.

[930] You know.

[931] You know.

[932] so according to a bunch of them who are like, yeah, three or four of us had to turn Maastrian down.

[933] So there's a bunch of other people like, yeah, he asked us to kill the wife and we were all like, fuck no. But this one dude, Dick Anderson...

[934] He just walked around one bar.

[935] Like, not a good plan.

[936] Okay, so T. Eugene Thompson is arrested on June 21st and indicted on charge of first degree murder.

[937] And this fucking trial is like the O .J. Simpson trial of the time, which I know is everyone says that about everything.

[938] But it really applies here.

[939] Really, like, to prove it, they were like, there were even newspapers in Oslo talking about it, or it's like, whoa.

[940] So, like, you get the scope.

[941] Yeah, they made it to fucking Norway.

[942] Yeah.

[943] Yeah.

[944] Okay, so there's a six -week trial covered by reporters from across the country, and they were doing the thing where they're like, so -and -so is wearing this today, and this person's wearing that today.

[945] Oh, we have arrest photos.

[946] of them.

[947] Okay, that's the guy who killed him.

[948] Don't ooh.

[949] I'm sorry.

[950] And that's Eugene Thompson, who totally looks like someone I dated.

[951] Really?

[952] Yeah.

[953] Well, what did that guy do?

[954] He just, he thought he was a mod, and he drove like a mini Cooper from the, he had it flown over from the fucking UK.

[955] Oh, really?

[956] It was so dumb.

[957] Pip, pip.

[958] He all, yeah.

[959] Do all underworld people have a cleft chin?

[960] Because that first guy did.

[961] I think that's why I made that noise.

[962] Oh.

[963] No, I feel bad.

[964] All good.

[965] Okay.

[966] You were hoping he was just uninvolved, so you could talk about how cute he was.

[967] He was on a TV show at the time, and you just wanted to set the scene.

[968] Yeah.

[969] This is the most famous nice guy in the world.

[970] He's the sweetest.

[971] Everyone in Minneapolis loved him anyway.

[972] And he's a murderer.

[973] Okay, so the story about the trial was running on UPI's National Wire.

[974] The only reason it got.

[975] bumped and interrupted was because a certain day on November 22nd, 1963, President JFK had been shot.

[976] It's the only reason it got kicked and bumped.

[977] It was going to be in Life magazine and everything, but then they were like bigger problem.

[978] Yeah.

[979] Um, okay, so then at the trial, it turns out, it comes out that Eugene Thompson was a notorious womanizer and...

[980] Sorry, the second guy?

[981] Yeah.

[982] I swear to God.

[983] That question says it all.

[984] Men have it good.

[985] Let's just say it that.

[986] Let's just say it that.

[987] Let's just say it that way.

[988] You can be a bald, a little bald, bland fuck and be a womanizer.

[989] Sorry.

[990] Sorry.

[991] That's very sexist against man, and I'm sorry.

[992] We want this to be in a welcoming environment.

[993] She can't even say it with a straight face.

[994] Okay.

[995] You want to try that again?

[996] We want this to be a welcoming environment for everybody.

[997] You know.

[998] There's so many good.

[999] ones out there.

[1000] Show your faces.

[1001] Like we have all that, like women have welcoming environments.

[1002] We wanted to be, let's get feminist.

[1003] Surprise is also a feminist podcast.

[1004] Then they're like, then like everyone storms out.

[1005] All right.

[1006] Enough, Georgia.

[1007] Okay.

[1008] Total womanizer.

[1009] And he had been taking out life insurance policies.

[1010] Dude.

[1011] They, it's funny that they haven't implemented something at insurance.

[1012] companies, where if a husband is taking out large item life insurance policies on his wife, maybe somebody goes by and just knocks on the door, just checks in.

[1013] Let's her know.

[1014] Hey, what are you up to?

[1015] And is she aware?

[1016] And does everybody on the same page with this multi -million dollar life insurance policy?

[1017] I think that's a great idea.

[1018] All right.

[1019] I'm going to call Geico tomorrow.

[1020] And he took out like a million dollar life insurance policy pretty quickly.

[1021] pretty recently in the past but he had been taking out for 15 years bits and pieces of life insurance so he was like so like he had policies all over the place yeah well he was an attorney so he probably knew how the shit worked policies in every area account got 99 policies so then someone said he had a long running girlfriend he had several girlfriends had a long one in particular who he was eager to marry, you know, those two fucking things, the life insurance policy and the girlfriend.

[1022] He went on, he, like, for some reason, went on the stand and everyone hated him.

[1023] Shocker.

[1024] Yeah.

[1025] Okay.

[1026] He didn't womanize his way to the top of the courtroom?

[1027] It's those guys that think they're so charming that they can win anyone over, and they can also think that they can kill their wife and get away with it.

[1028] They're like, no, no, no, no, I got this.

[1029] Let me get on the stand.

[1030] I'll convince everyone because I'm sorry.

[1031] It's always the doctor husband's on date line who are just like, I assure you, Ed.

[1032] And you're just like, you look like a lizard.

[1033] You are the scariest.

[1034] Your eyes are dead and you have a forked tongue.

[1035] Shut up.

[1036] Just like not having the forethought that everyone thinks you're guilty, you know, knowing that.

[1037] All right.

[1038] We're really on one tonight.

[1039] Man, we're pissed.

[1040] 12 hours of deliberation.

[1041] Jury decided that Thompson was guilty.

[1042] and he was sentenced to life in prison.

[1043] Yeah.

[1044] No wait, though.

[1045] Life doesn't mean life anymore.

[1046] You guys know that.

[1047] Or back then, ever.

[1048] Okay, the two dues, Anderson and Mastrian, are indicted in 1963, first three murder charges, each sentenced to life in prison after being convicted.

[1049] Okay, so now the oldest child, Jeffrey, who was 13 at the time of his mother's murder, he became a lawyer.

[1050] And this guy, like, he likes to give interviews, and he's fucking cool.

[1051] Like, his mommy's a badass and is just really open about what happened because he's horrified by it, obviously.

[1052] So he became a prosecutor, prosecuted several first -degree murder cases and occasionally cites points of law from his father's trial.

[1053] Well, he'll be like, well, it just so happens that Thompson relation.

[1054] In this, you know, at this time, blah, blah, blah.

[1055] Amazing.

[1056] I know.

[1057] In 1989, he was appointed district court judge in Winona.

[1058] Okay.

[1059] All right, got a couple more than from Blue Mountain or whatever the fuck.

[1060] Blue soil.

[1061] Then, okay, here we go, 1983, serving 19 years, T. Eugene Thompson is released on parole.

[1062] He maintained that he had been framed, and so after his release, his chillies, children, including Jeffrey, who's a lawyer, was like, come over, we're going to sit down, we're going to hold a little trial of our own, and we need you to convince us that you're not guilty because that's what you're saying.

[1063] And they laid out all the evidence for him, and they were like, you're a lawyer too.

[1064] Tell us why we're wrong.

[1065] And the only thing he could come up with was like some weird blood sample report about the blood that was in the house, which is like, you weren't even in the, no one even said you were in the house anyways.

[1066] That's all he could come up with.

[1067] And at the end, Jeffrey Thompson is.

[1068] like, you're guilty.

[1069] It's amazing he did it.

[1070] That's another sign of that kind of crazy narcissism where he's like, oh yeah, that's easy.

[1071] I'll convince those guys.

[1072] Right.

[1073] And the kids are like, they want him to tell them.

[1074] It's not like they're like, we're never going to talk to you again.

[1075] It's like, we can't have a relationship with you.

[1076] You're fucking lying to us and we know it.

[1077] Yeah.

[1078] It's not understanding.

[1079] Here we go.

[1080] So, Jeffrey and his three younger sisters, uh let's see okay wait sorry so eugene thompson died august 7th 2017 on his 88th birthday not the son the dad um and on and geoffrey put on his um on his tombstone every saint has a past and every sinner has a future amen that's kind of an ironic thing to put on a headstone you have to admit well there's no future right i didn't think about that may have been sarcasm on his part he sounds it sounds like badassery run in the family yeah uh so that's it that's the murder of carol thompson oh it was great thank you thank you great job on that thank you i remember you doing all your research the day of and it turned out great it turned out really good that must have been one of those ones where I had another one that I was totally going to do.

[1081] And then the afternoon of when you're like, fuck, I have to pick something else.

[1082] I can't do this one for what I know.

[1083] There are lots of doubts.

[1084] And for as fun and great as all those live shows turned out, there was lots of worry and doubts beforehand.

[1085] Definitely.

[1086] Even the stories that did really, really well, you're still like, what if they're mad at me for this one?

[1087] What if everyone in Minnesota knows that this is the story you don't talk about and you just don't know it?

[1088] or you know what I mean?

[1089] Or like, this is the one thing that everyone will make everyone hate you.

[1090] Which is essentially just what we all call an anxiety.

[1091] And it pops up and tells you, here's the worst case scenario.

[1092] And then we, as people who love our own brains, don't say, oh, that's that idea that I get my head every time I attempt vulnerability.

[1093] Instead, we go, I have to change the story.

[1094] Yeah.

[1095] I have to change it right now.

[1096] That's right.

[1097] It's not just my thinking.

[1098] I know for a fact this is going to be the one that breaks us.

[1099] That's right.

[1100] The silence of the.

[1101] audience and I will then dive into the audience and yeah cry we worked out good yeah we have a hometown now in this quilt episode the hometown the hometown is from november 28th 2019 so it's much more recent than these two which are both from three years ago it was um Alex came up at the end of the show that we did at the London Apollo and told us her hometown it was really uh quite a story it's quite fun enjoy yeah you guys know the rules you can't be so drunk that your story doesn't have a beginning a middle and an end and being the crucial part always um and please be local and uh give up whoever's waving that up there because there's no fucking way we're waiting for you to come down here sorry okay who has a hometown oh god do you want to do it no yeah i'll pick her who's her her waving hand okay or maybe him i don't know my glasses on Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1102] Go to Vince.

[1103] It was so easy last night because after the speech, one person raised their hand.

[1104] Oh, yeah, can we get the audience lights down so she doesn't have a panic attack?

[1105] Thank you.

[1106] It's fucking terrifying.

[1107] It's very scary.

[1108] It's very scary to see all of you.

[1109] It really is.

[1110] I'm sorry, I interrupted you because I was so scared about the lights.

[1111] I don't care.

[1112] What were you saying?

[1113] I don't remember.

[1114] Just that only one person raised their hand yesterday.

[1115] I am.

[1116] Yeah, it was easy.

[1117] Hi.

[1118] Hey, Alex, everyone.

[1119] It's terrifying.

[1120] You're going to do great.

[1121] It's Alex, everybody.

[1122] Say hi.

[1123] Where are you from?

[1124] Phasingstoke, which is about an hour away from here.

[1125] Wow.

[1126] Are a lot of people from there?

[1127] I didn't think so, but apparently so.

[1128] Or they just love it.

[1129] Is it awesome?

[1130] No. Okay, what, do you want to tell your story?

[1131] Yeah, so it's the murder of a gentleman named Tristan Lowe.

[1132] love lock.

[1133] It's probably like the only really famous murder in Bays and Stoke.

[1134] That's good though.

[1135] That's good.

[1136] And my relation to it is that these guys are the same age as my mom.

[1137] My mom grew up with them.

[1138] So, yeah.

[1139] God, this is scary.

[1140] I know.

[1141] You're doing great.

[1142] Nice.

[1143] Nice move.

[1144] So, basically, a gentleman is out in Southam, which is in Bays and Stoke.

[1145] It's a bit of rough area of Bays and Stoke.

[1146] And his dog is alerting him to something in the bushes.

[1147] So he goes over and he finds the decapitated head of Tristan.

[1148] Oh, no. Lovelock.

[1149] Yeah.

[1150] He's 67 years old.

[1151] So how he didn't die from a heart attack, I don't know.

[1152] You mean the guy walking the dance?

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] Not the head.

[1155] Sorry.

[1156] Sorry.

[1157] So they track numerous body parts around South Ham and track it to a particular house and there's only one tenant and his name is Richard Markham Yes Who gives a shit?

[1158] Just go with someone.

[1159] That's right.

[1160] So they track it to his house and basically it comes about that they were out drinking probably more than drinking, probably drugs as well out with friends She says it under her breath into a microphone.

[1161] That's my favorite.

[1162] And they go back to his house and they get into an altercation about a woman.

[1163] And he claims it was self -defense, but he basically picks up a hammer and just start smashing him in the head with the hammer.

[1164] Oh, my God.

[1165] He claims that Tristan, who was the guy that was murdered, pulled a World War II bayonet on him.

[1166] And so he felt like he had to defend himself with a hammer.

[1167] Yeah.

[1168] So obviously after that He dismembered him with a hacksaw Spreads his body parts around South Ham And then proceeds This is what makes me think they're on drugs Then proceeds to put his arm in the oven And bake it Yeah I'm not joking No I know So after this Wait why does he do that?

[1169] Drugs Oh got it I don't know I want a reason Tristan's arm Not his own arm I'm very good at telling stories No you're great I'm with you I'm here Last show everybody last show We can do this We can do it So sorry Go ahead Okay So after he's done all this He then flees and goes to the airport He's like give me a ticket to anywhere I don't care where Like a song Yeah it's like a glee moment in the airport.

[1170] And they give him a ticket to JFK.

[1171] So he goes to New York, uses his own name, his own cards, books a hotel, goes out, does tourist things in New York.

[1172] He's right in Times Square.

[1173] Obviously, back in Baysenstoke, the police are going mad, trying to find this guy.

[1174] And when they finally find him, he's sat in Central Park, reading a newspaper article about himself.

[1175] Oh my God.

[1176] Dude.

[1177] And then he proceeds to lift up his t -shirt, and he has a made in England tattoo around his navel.

[1178] Bristol.

[1179] And yeah, he gets sent into life in prison and that's the end.

[1180] Amazing.

[1181] So good, Alex, everybody.

[1182] She killed it.

[1183] So good.

[1184] Great job.

[1185] Wow.

[1186] Great job, London.

[1187] You fucking did it.

[1188] Wow.

[1189] Way to go, Alex.

[1190] Alex, thank you for bringing all that onto the stage.

[1191] Yeah.

[1192] We appreciate it.

[1193] It's a scary thing to come up on stage but you you did it she really did it yeah she really did thanks for listening to this quilt elpisode what this is we're stitching together the quilt elpisode episode we're stitching words together and quilts together um and yeah thanks thank thank thank you good job you guys um hopefully everything where you are is acceptable to okay.

[1194] Let's not hope for more.

[1195] Let's just keep the expectations nice and low.

[1196] Oh, yeah.

[1197] 2020.

[1198] Keep the expectations nice and low.

[1199] Keep your expectations low and your arms locked in a chain, a human chain.

[1200] And you will get through this together.

[1201] That's right.

[1202] Yeah.

[1203] Oh, also stay sexy.

[1204] And don't get murdered.

[1205] Goodbye.

[1206] Elvis, do you want a cookie?