Rick Glassman

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dick Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Padman.

[3] Hello.

[4] Hi there.

[5] Pronto.

[6] Oh, my gosh.

[7] Ciao bello.

[8] Ciao Bella.

[9] We have one of our favorite people on today.

[10] A very close friend.

[11] One of the funniest semen beans I know.

[12] Rick Glassman.

[13] That's our boy.

[14] Ricky Glassman.

[15] This motherfucker is a creative volcano.

[16] He's erupting hilarious content at all times.

[17] on his Instagram.

[18] Elsewhere he makes shorts.

[19] He fucking has his own web series he made.

[20] He's so damn good.

[21] And then on top of it, we come to find out he's a fucking awesome actor.

[22] He's in a new show that we've talked about a lot by Jason Katoms called As We See It.

[23] You must check out as we see it.

[24] He's so good in it.

[25] He was also an undatable, a futile and stupid gesture, and the sixth lead, which is hysterical and he made.

[26] Well, his podcast.

[27] And most importantly, I don't know why Rob didn't put that on here.

[28] Oh my God.

[29] Take your shoes off.

[30] Take your shoes off podcast.

[31] I was wearing a Take Your Shoes Off podcast sweatshirt just earlier today.

[32] Take your shoes off podcast.

[33] It's hysterical.

[34] Watch it on YouTube.

[35] You got to watch it.

[36] That's my recommendation.

[37] Please enjoy Rick Glassman.

[38] free right now.

[39] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[40] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[41] This is for your benefit.

[42] Is he testing this throat?

[43] No, he wants you to hear him play drums.

[44] That's why he said to press record.

[45] Uh -huh.

[46] Yeah.

[47] Sounds like somebody who's just learned how to beat box.

[48] Whoa, dude.

[49] I did that so we could pop musician.

[50] musician.

[51] Yeah, I told Monica, that's why you wanted to press record before you left.

[52] Yeah.

[53] Good to be back.

[54] Good to have you back.

[55] I good to be back a lot.

[56] I say that.

[57] Oh, my God, I've talked about this on here, your unique gift to be able to make an acronym out of anything.

[58] Y -U -G -T -M -A -O -A -A -O -A.

[59] So, wait, Rob's going to have to write them down because I can't even check you.

[60] It's so fast.

[61] Say a phrase.

[62] Okay.

[63] Okay.

[64] Ready?

[65] All right.

[66] Are you ready, Rob?

[67] You only have to write down.

[68] What Rakey said.

[69] Y -O -H -T -W -D.

[70] You only have to, oh, my.

[71] H -H -H -H -H -H -H -H -H -H -O -M -G.

[72] But listen, I don't want to come here and show you my parlor tricks.

[73] My parlor tricks got me in the office.

[74] So what is this?

[75] They got you in the door.

[76] I don't want to be, I do want to be controlling.

[77] Can we lower my levels a little bit?

[78] Sure.

[79] Thank you.

[80] How do my levels sound?

[81] Perfect.

[82] Okay, great.

[83] I interview a podcaster.

[84] I was honored to be on Take Your Shoes off podcast.

[85] Yes.

[86] T -Y -S -O -P.

[87] That's pretty good That was good I guess I would ask you Was that right?

[88] TWR Okay listen We discovered a fun new game Because we interviewed a guy Who wrote a book on games What are these called?

[89] Dittloids I feel like you might be good at it All right so here is your clue Okay 31 F O B R True No No No the rules 31 F at BR All right you want me to tell you And then we'll hit you with another one Because you'll get it as soon as I tell the answer 31 flavors at Basket Robbins Oh they're sayings O -T -S That's right I don't know if this is my gift No I think you're going to be good at it All right 26 L in the A 26 letters in the alphabet Yes When you get one it feels great right Dude it's like playing roulette Yeah now you love it right Well you know you just got to get one We spent like an hour sending these back and forth To each other the ones that we made up ourselves 1 H S -B -A -F -2 -E That's Friggily You left us in the dust I'm sorry You're punching down We don't have the skill that you have, okay?

[90] Be mindful of that.

[91] It is good to be back, though.

[92] So Rick Glassman, let's speed everyone through how we have come to love one another.

[93] All right.

[94] You want to start from your perspective or mine?

[95] Let's start with you.

[96] Let me get mine a little higher.

[97] Oh, my God.

[98] Here we go.

[99] Wow.

[100] By the way, guys, this is going to pay off beautifully.

[101] So just be patient.

[102] You good?

[103] Yeah.

[104] Okay, great.

[105] Monica, everyone can go with yours?

[106] Okay.

[107] All right.

[108] My perspective of how we know each of us?

[109] Walk everyone through our love affair.

[110] It was 2015.

[111] I was cold.

[112] You weren't.

[113] And I'm dating Jackie Tone.

[114] We'll put her Instagram handle up here.

[115] Yep.

[116] See, so Ricky thinks it's like his podcast.

[117] I know.

[118] He's having a hard time understanding we're not on his podcast.

[119] That's why he's controlling Robbie so much.

[120] We don't have visuals.

[121] I got to interject right away.

[122] Ricky's podcast, I think, is my favorite podcast other than ours of this variety.

[123] Chatting with people, you're my favorite.

[124] Very unique.

[125] Very unique.

[126] Again, it's called take your shoes off.

[127] And you're running four to five cameras because you film yours.

[128] We'll get into it.

[129] You have touched OCD, so you'll get kind of distracted by one of the cameras.

[130] And so you're all over the place.

[131] What's the old saying?

[132] It's like a one -armed man at a paper hanging contest.

[133] Wallpaper hanging contest.

[134] Never heard it.

[135] You haven't.

[136] It's so busy.

[137] I don't like to touch that kind of stuff.

[138] Okay, because it did involve someone with an amputation?

[139] No, because my father's in the flooring business.

[140] I don't like to promote people doing any homework.

[141] Okay, that's competing to your father's flooring business.

[142] It's so, so great, and you're so, so funny on it.

[143] And there's so much going on.

[144] And you have animation and people are talking and then birds poop on their head through animation.

[145] And there's bits within it.

[146] You receive a delivery of some postmates in the middle of Kristen's episode.

[147] You're hysterical at it.

[148] Thank you.

[149] And I've done the show twice as Monica's done the show.

[150] Once.

[151] We love to have you back.

[152] Love to be back.

[153] I would say that's my favorite experience on other people's shows.

[154] Yeah.

[155] I have a question.

[156] Yeah.

[157] We're on Mike.

[158] We're on TV.

[159] So technically we're performing, as authentic as we are.

[160] Yes and no. We don't really perform.

[161] Could I really?

[162] Is that true?

[163] Are you being kind to my podcast?

[164] No, no, no, no. By the way, I've said that without you here.

[165] Your favorite appearance on another one was mine?

[166] Yeah.

[167] Oh, that's so nice.

[168] Yes, I love it because you and I, for many reasons, we just have to be asked to stop generating.

[169] I don't know if we want each other's approval.

[170] I don't know if it's a sword fight.

[171] I don't know what it is, but I love talking to you, and I think you love talking to me. And when we sit down to your thing, it's seven, eight, nine hours.

[172] They're long.

[173] Yeah, they're long.

[174] And in fact, it affected it.

[175] day.

[176] The reason I was a little bit late, and I apologize, was normally I would interview my next guest later in the day in between this gap, but all of a sudden it hit me like, there's not going to be a fucking gap.

[177] I thought the exact same thing.

[178] I was like, oh, no, we didn't leave enough time in between.

[179] Can I do a little real -time fact check?

[180] I kind of was on twice.

[181] It was one episode, though, but you came back a second time for the fact check.

[182] Yeah.

[183] As a nod.

[184] That was fun.

[185] What a fun idea that was.

[186] It was very fun.

[187] Of course, it was Ricky's idea.

[188] Also very flattered for two reasons one that you wanted to come back a second time yes and two this was during heightened fear of touching and being close to people and for a year and a half i was having my guests be outside on the balcony between the window right and it needs to be added that on the other side of that window is not like a meadow it's a very busy thoroughfare there's a courtyard there okay there's a there's a seven -foot courtyard buffer and then there's a very active street yeah also sometimes it was hot out and i'd be inside with the ac or it's cold out and i'd be inside at the fireplace And you weren't allowed to wear your shoes out there, you know?

[189] So when you would walk through without your shoes, but I wanted you to put your shoes back on the balcony, so your socks didn't get compromised when you walk back in.

[190] Bombas.

[191] Remember, we were going to try to get you a bombus ad.

[192] And do you have one yet?

[193] I actually promised you I would do that for you and I did not deliver.

[194] You couldn't promise a sponsorship.

[195] You promised to try and you did that.

[196] And for that, I say, it wasn't enough.

[197] Okay.

[198] To which I respond, keep trying because you haven't done it.

[199] I don't wear pants much, shorts or sweatpants.

[200] normally.

[201] But when I wear pants that come up, I wear a long sock.

[202] And I really wanted to wear bambas today because I usually wear bamba, almost exclusively except for in pants.

[203] And I called Betty.

[204] Your girlfriend.

[205] Well, you guys are married.

[206] No, we actually have separated and still talk all the time.

[207] Oh, no. I thought that was going the other direction.

[208] Your paws definitely felt like we're engaged.

[209] Like you can't call her my girlfriend anymore.

[210] Could I tell you the thought process?

[211] Yes, yes, please.

[212] He's walking through it.

[213] You and I are both wrestling today, huh?

[214] I'm with some upper congestion.

[215] It happened as I ate an apple.

[216] I choked on an apple today.

[217] I've heard apples are really bad for like speaking.

[218] Because I didn't eat anything and I thought I wanted some carbs.

[219] Sure, sure.

[220] Keep your motor running.

[221] You're on a very delicate.

[222] You're monitoring everything.

[223] The intake times, everything.

[224] Wait, let's go back to Betty.

[225] We need more info.

[226] So the reason I paused was because I didn't want to say my ex.

[227] Yeah.

[228] That feels dismissive.

[229] Well, also, it would bring up what ultimately came up, which is fine.

[230] I thought I could slip past.

[231] So I didn't want to say my girlfriend because technically she isn't.

[232] So I thought I could say, Betty, because you both have technically met and heard of.

[233] So I thought, you know, Betty, if I said mom, you wouldn't say, oh, she's still your, she's still your mom.

[234] Yeah.

[235] You know?

[236] Yeah.

[237] So there was a hesitation.

[238] Well, I know if I said, oh, your mom and you went, I go, oh, fuck.

[239] Are you married to your mom?

[240] No, I would have been like, oh, no, he's going to tell me she passed.

[241] Well, Betty's, she's a tremendous.

[242] scale.

[243] You just said you are separated, but you still talk all the time.

[244] And that seems to be a through line.

[245] Yes, with Ricky.

[246] Yes.

[247] And another thing we share in common.

[248] Oh, because of Jackie.

[249] Yes.

[250] We're friends with our ex -girlfriends.

[251] I think we're the fucking best.

[252] Yeah, you and I are really, maybe the best two people.

[253] Hold on, Monica.

[254] Mute her.

[255] No, we're fucking king.

[256] We are the, we are king.

[257] So you're talking to Betty.

[258] But I asked about the bombas.

[259] That's it.

[260] And she said, you don't, you don't owe allegiance to bombas.

[261] They're not sponsoring you.

[262] Where makes you feel best.

[263] Right.

[264] Also, you can love men.

[265] things.

[266] There's like people in the car community.

[267] It's like, I'm a Ford guy.

[268] Fuck everything else.

[269] I'm like, they're the only people that makes an interesting vehicle that can't possibly be.

[270] You're free to love a lot of things.

[271] F -T -L -A -L -L -T.

[272] Boom.

[273] Problem is that we don't know if it's right because we're not smart enough.

[274] That's exactly why I was going to have Rob write them all down.

[275] So poor Rob, at the end of this interview, potentially he'll have like two notebooks full of just letters.

[276] And where would we even start?

[277] Stop taking pictures.

[278] You have homework.

[279] It sounds like a soldier at the end of war before he had access to the mail delivery system.

[280] He would be not unlike that poor soldier on an island in the South Pacific who didn't know the war had ended.

[281] Do you know that old fable?

[282] I don't.

[283] Do you want to talk about it?

[284] No, it's neither of our specialty or history.

[285] Okay.

[286] Now, here's how we met.

[287] Jackie Tone.

[288] The Betty thing would have come up anyways because I was on the verge of doing something that Monica hates.

[289] Here we go.

[290] When you did his podcast, I didn't really know about Betty.

[291] And I thought, oh yeah, I do hate that.

[292] Wait, what do you mean?

[293] Well, she was going over to meet you and I thought well here's two people I adore that are both smoking hot like maybe they'll be a love connection well I just was very excited about a potential love connection between the two of you because I adore you both so much and I can't imagine vacationing with a better couple than you two at any rate I was all hang out regardless of whether he's with Betty or not well that is true yeah but it'd be fun if you guys were rolling around and constantly showing up to breakfast with shit in your hair like oh god what were they doing wait a minute so if we were having fucking each other yeah uh no no no That's not what I was going to say.

[294] But making love, in your mind, we would then have stuff in our hair after?

[295] Because we'd be on vacation.

[296] It'd be like you would have gone out to a dune on the cape and rolled around out in the sand.

[297] Do you know me?

[298] Yeah, but maybe I'll make it a little feistyer.

[299] Oh.

[300] More adventurous.

[301] Because I'm super adventurous.

[302] Wow.

[303] I tell you're having your cough drops ready for me. Mom.

[304] My pharmacy.

[305] Ew.

[306] I'm already your mom already.

[307] He loves his mom.

[308] No, that's the dream sitch for him.

[309] Right?

[310] Well, then I would have still been with Jackie.

[311] Okay.

[312] Oh, all right.

[313] Let's get into that.

[314] Well, that had its own things.

[315] I got to lay the foundation of how we know each other.

[316] Okay.

[317] So we have a mutual friend.

[318] All of us here, Jackie Tone, you were dating her.

[319] She brought you over.

[320] This is all really on your podcast.

[321] We went through this extensively.

[322] We did.

[323] But what was curious is Jackie brought you over to the house.

[324] We were playing a game of werewolves and villagers.

[325] Is it worth explaining to people how that game works?

[326] It's a fun game.

[327] You can Google it.

[328] Maybe in the fact check I'll get into the details.

[329] There's lying involved is the point.

[330] I know a lot of people know of the game as mafia.

[331] So maybe that invites more people in.

[332] Okay, great.

[333] So you just widen the net.

[334] It's mafia, let's say we were playing.

[335] For wolves.

[336] It's mafia for wolves.

[337] So you're over.

[338] And immediately I'm like, oh, this guy's very funny.

[339] This is great.

[340] It's kind of going well.

[341] You're tall.

[342] Everything's, I'm happy for it.

[343] You look amazing, by the way.

[344] It's good to be back.

[345] I'm happy for Jackie.

[346] And then something happens during the game.

[347] I can't even remember the details.

[348] I think you might.

[349] I remember it like it was eight years ago.

[350] Okay.

[351] So we're playing a game.

[352] And I mean that literally.

[353] We're playing a game.

[354] I'm not Rick, a guest in your home who's like telling you about my family.

[355] We're in characters playing a game, a strategy game.

[356] Yes.

[357] Some people are the bad guys.

[358] Some people are the good guys.

[359] The bad guys lie about being good and so on.

[360] I'm a bad guy.

[361] Doing my bad guy thing.

[362] Bad guy business.

[363] And the way I was playing a bad guy was pretending like I'm a good guy.

[364] And in order to do that, when we were, the community is all speaking, like, hold on a second.

[365] I know you don't know me, everybody.

[366] But here's what I saw.

[367] I saw Jackie doing this.

[368] If I'm wrong, you'll find out once she's out.

[369] And then you'll know, Jackie gets a little angry because it's working.

[370] Angry in competition.

[371] Yeah, it happens.

[372] But angry.

[373] Nevertheless, quite angry.

[374] And you being the father figure that you are, are saying, hear what you're saying, Jackie.

[375] Rick, are you telling me the truth?

[376] And you got aggressive.

[377] And when I tell you, I got rock hard from you, somebody like you getting, like, that's where I connect.

[378] Like playing basketball and physicality.

[379] We're getting real now.

[380] And I'm like, oh, we're peers.

[381] We could talk to each other like this.

[382] You're no longer hosting me. Yeah, that's right.

[383] And we're button heads a little bit back and forth to where you're like, okay, this seems legit.

[384] And you got Jackie out to later find out that I was just being a liar.

[385] A dramatic actor.

[386] Yes.

[387] Quite a good dramatic action.

[388] No, I mean, that's the point of the game.

[389] So, yeah, you did the right thing.

[390] And you lost it on me. Oh.

[391] You yelled at me. Oh, my gosh.

[392] And you stood.

[393] Oh.

[394] And when you stand, it's to be higher than somebody else.

[395] That's the purpose, yeah.

[396] That's why the pharmacists do it.

[397] And I being so unaware and now even harder.

[398] I'm thinking like pretty good, right, bud?

[399] I didn't even pick up on the fact that until I'm in your kitchen filling up water and Kristen comes so embarrassed, apologizing for you.

[400] And she said she's so sorry.

[401] And I'm like, oh, I felt like we, Dax and I connected.

[402] And then Jackie was a little like what Kristen was to you.

[403] She was to me. Right.

[404] Everyone's a little stressed out now.

[405] Oh, no. I also later found out from you that I did read that wrong and you didn't like me from that one experience.

[406] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[407] I didn't.

[408] The thing I really was struggling with was, oh, he's funny.

[409] Oh, no, he can't not be the character.

[410] He's not ever going to get sincere with me. I'm going to be talking to his stand -up character for the duration of this.

[411] And I started getting upset that you weren't going to be human with me and real.

[412] Eyes watering a little bit even from you saying that, for real.

[413] Because I've heard that my whole life.

[414] But was that because of what happened during the game or after?

[415] There were several different times.

[416] I liked Ricky and then I think I tried to connect.

[417] By the way, it's my favorite thing about us is we misunderstand each other almost every other sentence.

[418] It's basically the fuel for why we get along.

[419] The last time you came on my podcast, you said this is the first time we had a conversation where there wasn't misunderstanding.

[420] Yes.

[421] We'll both leave conversations.

[422] We've had two different conversations.

[423] So yeah, the initial thing was I kind of was thinking, oh, God, this guy's always going to be on.

[424] And maybe I tried in my way to have some real moments with you and I didn't think they were.

[425] there.

[426] And then now the game thing, he's trying to out alpha me in my own house.

[427] Because he's playing a game.

[428] So he was getting right back at me and all this stuff.

[429] Without realizing I was doing that, I probably was.

[430] And by the way, I have very little memory of it.

[431] I'm only tripping up against me being a straight -up bully because I don't think I'm really that way.

[432] The way you explained it was that you were feeling protective of Jackie.

[433] Okay, that makes sense to.

[434] I didn't even think you were bullying me. But long story short, we became friends.

[435] What I realized was, oh, this thing that I thought maybe was a stand -up persona is truly Ricky 100 % of the time, and I came to trust that, and I fell in love with you.

[436] I want to do a check -in just because otherwise I'll be in my head thinking about it.

[437] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[438] Everything is great.

[439] I am feeling myself now.

[440] You know, led somewhere?

[441] No, I come in, it's good to be back, a lot of letters.

[442] Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[443] Because I agree with what you were talking about, even though this was years and years ago, I am becoming a little unsure.

[444] Am I now coming in too hot?

[445] No. Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because I have a really bad sense of awareness of that stuff and because I'm coming into your home and people don't know me. None of that's happening at all.

[446] I thought you were starting to get worried.

[447] I was leading you somewhere and it felt patronizing or laborious.

[448] Which one?

[449] You pick.

[450] I guess you weren't feeling either of those things.

[451] No, you're just talking about my sense of awareness that I came into?

[452] Well, what I'm trying to get to is we become friends.

[453] In fact, I get to occupy at times in your life.

[454] a role I've come to cherish like crazy, which is you kind of reached out to me for advice at different times.

[455] I refer to you as a role model quite literally because you're just a cool guy that has done cool things.

[456] So that's cool.

[457] Other cool guys have done cool things before.

[458] But now I know you and how sincere you are with me, but also quite direct.

[459] Don't do that.

[460] Agree or disagree on my end, I know that you're not sugar -coding anything.

[461] And you've gone through so much for better and for worse that I just trust your opinion.

[462] So yeah, I mean podcast questions, like when it's financial stuff with advertising, whatever, breakups.

[463] Except not Betty.

[464] Intentionally.

[465] I feel a little bit.

[466] Well, ever since Spotify, you've changed.

[467] No, no, no, no. I'll joke.

[468] All those pieces of advice you give me are two minutes or under.

[469] So they become tools to me. I think it started when you got your first show, which was undatable.

[470] Yes.

[471] The first one was when everyone's going to upfronts.

[472] Yeah, up fronts where every year television shows sell ad space and the stars of the shows go.

[473] I wasn't the star of the show.

[474] In fact, I was the sixth lead.

[475] The first two years, it was just the one and the two.

[476] And then the next year, five of the seven people were invited to go.

[477] I've never done it.

[478] My friends are going.

[479] It's, ooh, working actor.

[480] It felt cool.

[481] And it wasn't invited and it was what it was.

[482] It wasn't until my then boss, Bill Lawrence, who was so kind.

[483] He said, hey, this sucks, but this is showbiz.

[484] If you fly yourself out, I'll put you up in the hotel.

[485] I'll make sure you're invited and come to all the things.

[486] And it felt like exactly what it was.

[487] And it felt bad.

[488] But I also wanted to experience this and go.

[489] This is the third year I've never done it.

[490] And I didn't know if it felt bad because of my ego or the other way around.

[491] I asked you and you said, your job isn't to be included in everything.

[492] Your job isn't to get more lines.

[493] Your job isn't even to be the best.

[494] You said your job is to show up on time, be prepared and be liked.

[495] That really resonated with me. And something that I'm paraphrasing and also literally tangibly connect to is, if I'm doing my own project, do I want the most talented person?

[496] probably maybe but I definitely want my friends and people that feel good to be around that I feel safe with that a collaborative that whenever they show up not only do they not drain me they excite me and they bring me stuff and I was at a place where I want to go to this I want to I want to be there not to negate that that's a reality that I wanted to yeah but when you said that's like yeah that's not my job you know you move to Los Angeles as a dream to do this thing you forget that like this is your job especially at first until that novelty wears off you show up to work to do your thing.

[497] This isn't my family going to New York and not taking me, but taking my brother.

[498] Right, right, right, right.

[499] That's what it feels like.

[500] But as soon as Dax said that, it went from me being unsure to being 100 % sure.

[501] Oh, I don't want to go because it truly doesn't matter.

[502] Well, it doesn't.

[503] What I loved is that I had been in the same spot as you.

[504] I saw myself in you so much.

[505] And not overnight in that you've been here for a long time doing stand -up, but overnight in that you're a fucking season regular on a show.

[506] Like, generally you're going to have 25, 30 guest starring roles.

[507] You know, you're going to do all this stuff.

[508] and climb your ladder to being a series regular on a show.

[509] And you're just plopped as a season regular on a show for many years.

[510] And that's a huge adjustment.

[511] Yeah, that was young.

[512] It was pre -COVID.

[513] But I loved it.

[514] And I've always loved, love, love, love anytime you've called me. Again, it gives me a ton of self -esteem to be able to chat with you about all these things.

[515] So at some point, you called me. I've never had a friend call me and say, I just found out I'm autistic.

[516] It's a very crazy call.

[517] We'll be right back after a word from my sponsor.

[518] The inciting incident to this would be my friend Ron Funches, who has a son on the spectrum, Malcolm.

[519] We were at lunch and Malcolm was stimming, self -stimulation.

[520] It doesn't mean autism.

[521] It's tapping the fingernails, swaying, rocking back and forth, whatever it is.

[522] You're soothing, basically.

[523] Soothing, yeah.

[524] Also, he was doing that the same way that I do it.

[525] You would have liked to have been making, but you're preventing yourself.

[526] No, I do make, when I get really hyper, my parents call it Ricky Mood.

[527] These odd noises.

[528] Yeah, can you?

[529] I mean, I don't want to make you perform like a seal.

[530] I don't know if this is, it would feel really good to go, I mean, maybe being silly, but it's not just like, hey, guys, look at me. Yeah.

[531] You know, I'd be by myself or, you know, just my parents and just, like I would.

[532] Does it feel like a release?

[533] Okay, yeah.

[534] You'd let it rip.

[535] Thank God for parents, right?

[536] Oh, so.

[537] Well, because you're free to let it rip like that and your parents just like, oh, he's in a Ricky moon or whatever they say.

[538] They just adore you.

[539] They don't get a shit.

[540] But you, you.

[541] You blasts a couple of those in kindergarten, and some kids are like, what the fuck is this guy doing, right?

[542] Yeah, and then my parents go into the school and yell at the superintendent, and then I go to the special positive education program school for a year or two.

[543] Wow, okay.

[544] I was diagnosed with different stuff as a kid, but when I brought that up to Ron, he didn't say that I have anything or that he even thinks, but he just explained what some of those things mean.

[545] And then it kind of planted the seed.

[546] And later on, I brought up to him, do I want to him?

[547] He goes, I could see why you think.

[548] I mean, maybe, yeah.

[549] And he brought up some other things specifically.

[550] I assess a compulsive disorder when we went to Just for Lats in Montreal and I went into his hotel room and how odd things were unusual, I guess I should say.

[551] Wait, what do you mean?

[552] I'm in his room and fixing things.

[553] Nothing that wild, but just another piece on top of him knowing me for years and my idiosyncrasies.

[554] Unundatable, it was a multi -cam show, so you're on set all week.

[555] The way our show worked, and especially the last season when it was live, we would get new scripts constantly.

[556] There's a lot of downtime.

[557] Two hours.

[558] Then we get a scene, then an hour.

[559] Right, because you're rehearsing all.

[560] even shooting.

[561] So I would always have my headphones in.

[562] I like them in.

[563] You could press play whenever you want.

[564] People really want to say something to you when your headphones are in.

[565] That's true.

[566] You know, no one's going to be like, did you eat the burrito?

[567] I couldn't think of a thing.

[568] But you know what I mean?

[569] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[570] There's just a comfort to it.

[571] And I later found out that people felt that I was ignoring them that I wasn't prioritizing the show, all these things that I'm not going to dispute.

[572] That wasn't my intention.

[573] Sure.

[574] We talked about these things and he brought some stuff to my attention.

[575] I had no idea.

[576] I wanted to get checked, but it was very expensive.

[577] And what's the point?

[578] And then the same Bill Lawrence is in this basketball game with him, which I was in before undaatable.

[579] It's why I got the job.

[580] We can quickly say you're a basketball legend.

[581] Thank you.

[582] Yeah.

[583] I know you guys don't have a video, but maybe you'll share it on your armchair expert.

[584] Instagram.

[585] I have some video I could show you.

[586] Don't you have a trophy?

[587] I mean, many, many, many, so many.

[588] But I got kicked out of a basketball game and a poker game that was run by my friends within two weeks of each other.

[589] The poker game, it's on them.

[590] I was hilarious.

[591] They are boring people.

[592] But the basketball game, I got an email from Bill.

[593] If I told somebody about this email, they would think, oh, that's rough.

[594] Truthfully, it was one of the kindest gestures given to me because it was something I needed to hear that Bill wasn't afraid to tell me. And from someone that you loved and trusted.

[595] Yeah, and is in a position.

[596] And I might be projecting this because success doesn't define.

[597] social positions necessarily, but because he's such a busy man with lots of successes and actors and writers, for him to not only notice this, but feel the need to tell me, I did feel like, I'll listen.

[598] Yeah, right, right, right.

[599] And he said, hey, handsome, he calls everyone handsome, so it doesn't mean anything.

[600] This is a tough email to send, but something I think you need to know.

[601] Basically, he's telling me that there are a few guys in the basketball game that not only don't like when I'm there, they don't come when I'm there.

[602] You know, I'm trying to win, and I don't think I'm going to make it into the NBA but kind of but like what if someone's watching me sure you don't think you're gonna but it could also if it happened you're right totally shocked they might want me to practice with them sure warm guys up yeah there's you know 50 year old comedy writers that are just looking to have a good time and i'm just cut to the fucking hoop yeah you're three on one and we're all in three point line yeah and i'm bad yeah the same way i was playing um where was in mafia yeah very narrow focus not considering how other people feel because i know how they feel They want to win, baby.

[603] You know?

[604] Right.

[605] That was a big thing that it's newer to me. They want to win.

[606] This sounds like hyperbole.

[607] Truly, this was how I thought.

[608] Everybody that I'm in front of is thinking the exact thing I'm thinking.

[609] Right.

[610] And they want the same thing.

[611] They want the same thing.

[612] Not because what I want is most important.

[613] It's common sense to you.

[614] Yeah.

[615] It's a given.

[616] An example that helped me kind of understand this was if I'm coming to your house from my house, I go from here to here.

[617] That's the way you go.

[618] But maybe people want to take a scenic route.

[619] Or then you want to stop by the dry cleaners.

[620] But it wouldn't even be a possibility that somebody has a different perspective.

[621] That they showed up to a basketball game without the sole objective to win that game.

[622] Why else would you come?

[623] Where is your self -worth, if not winning in this pickup game with 50 -year -olds?

[624] Right.

[625] So he's saying these things.

[626] Some of them I agreed with, some of them I didn't.

[627] The biggest one is I'm thinking like, I'm the best one there.

[628] I'm the first one picked, always.

[629] You could write some of this off to jealousy.

[630] I get what you're saying.

[631] But no, as soon as he said it, it wasn't the first time somebody has said something like this, but it definitely resonated.

[632] It's why I'm so sensitive now to like when you even said, oh, don't worry people, it'll be worth it.

[633] I get a little self -conscious of, am I doing that thing?

[634] You've missed out on something.

[635] Yeah.

[636] That we are all in on something.

[637] You're not.

[638] I'm not picking up on when I'm maybe being too much.

[639] And I still don't have a great sense of that, but I do know it exists.

[640] So my new tool is to check in.

[641] Which has made you a really great and direct communicator.

[642] I think that's why I've liked talking to you so damn much.

[643] In a two -hour conversation, I'm like 20 little blips of awkwardness, right?

[644] And then everyone is just filling in the blank what that was about.

[645] but you and I will both go.

[646] Let's back up.

[647] Yeah.

[648] People are wanting and trying and assuming they're being kind by what they would maybe admit to avoiding confrontation.

[649] And then they're just filling in the blanks, which one is probably not right and two will develop a resentment.

[650] I am still very much the same person I was before just with a little bit more awareness, right?

[651] Yeah.

[652] And the difference that I've realized in how now people are receiving me is not based on my actions, but based on the expectations that were or were not met.

[653] So if you go in some place and kind of explain, hey, Dax, Monica, I'm stoned.

[654] Yeah, right, right, right.

[655] I'm going to be a little hyper.

[656] People are okay with it.

[657] Yeah, you're setting people's expectations appropriately.

[658] When I was going on dates right after I was diagnosed, I would say things like, listen, I'm going to get a little silly.

[659] So here's the tricky part for you.

[660] You're also a comedian.

[661] So you can't resist but punch up this thing a little bit as it's coming out, right?

[662] You're saying me explaining it?

[663] Yeah, in real life.

[664] Like, if I had to tell someone, I tell them all the time.

[665] So it's so funny how this parallels being an alcoholic, weirdly, I got thrown out of my best friend, Scotty's poker game.

[666] Well, he didn't flat throw me out.

[667] He said, you can't drink at my house anymore.

[668] And I was like, whoa, because he drinks a ton.

[669] Like, that must say something pretty huge about me that I can't drink at a borderline alcoholic's house because I'm too much, right?

[670] And it was like a wake -up call.

[671] Now I'm on the course in life where I have to explain to people all the time when I'm at a dinner, it's social.

[672] Oh, no, I can't drink because I'm a fucking alcoholic.

[673] And I go for it.

[674] Like, I got to tell you this bit of information, but I have some pride.

[675] I have a sense of humor, so I'm going to make it fun for you to learn this thing about me. Could you give me an example?

[676] Yes, so offer me a drink on the airplane.

[677] Hello, Mr. Shepherd.

[678] How are you today?

[679] Oh, wonderful.

[680] How are you?

[681] I'm fantastic.

[682] Thank you so much for acting.

[683] I'm sorry, I'm nervous.

[684] I'm a big fan of the armchair expert.

[685] Oh, my God.

[686] You're an armchair?

[687] Yes.

[688] Oh, my God.

[689] You're not in this.

[690] Hi, I'm here.

[691] Are you excited to see me?

[692] Oh, my God, Monica.

[693] Yeah.

[694] You're my favorite part.

[695] No offense, Dax.

[696] I think the thing that happens at the end, it's blinking me, the fact check.

[697] Oh, yeah.

[698] Thanks.

[699] Oh, my gosh.

[700] That happens all the time, by the way.

[701] We meet people and they're like, I'm here.

[702] Well, but they know it.

[703] They know it's called the fact.

[704] Oh, yeah.

[705] But, Zach, I'm talking to people.

[706] I'll be back there in a minute.

[707] I'm so sorry.

[708] Thank you for flying Delta.

[709] Yeah.

[710] Can I get you anything to drink, preferably some kind of alcohol?

[711] You know, I would love something to drink, but if you give me one, I'll probably try to take control of the aircraft.

[712] Oh, we would love that.

[713] Suck my tit.

[714] Oh, wow.

[715] That took a turn.

[716] So, you know, that's what I'll do.

[717] Right.

[718] This just happened on the flight home from England.

[719] I had turned down wine like seven times.

[720] I'm like, I'm going to have to tell her I'm an alcoholic, and she's not understanding I'm never going to drink on this flight.

[721] And so she comes like the, yeah, seventh time.

[722] And I go, you know, I can't drink because then I'll buy cocaine when we land and I'll disappear for three days.

[723] You know, I try to make a joke out of it.

[724] How much is that to make them more comfortable versus survival?

[725] I tell myself it's for them because there's nothing more awkward.

[726] I don't want them to feel like they now have to comfort me. Because they'll often say in the old days before I workshopped all this stuff.

[727] I go, oh, I don't drink.

[728] I'm an alcoholic.

[729] Oh, I'm so sorry.

[730] I offered.

[731] I'm so sorry.

[732] Now they're apologizing.

[733] But can you just say, oh, I don't drink and not say I'm an alcoholic?

[734] Well, now that is where my ego gets in.

[735] I was about to argue something.

[736] Yeah, okay, I argue it.

[737] What Monica's saying, Monica?

[738] That's me. I'm not crazy about this line of jokes.

[739] Oh, I always do a name, name, name thing.

[740] That wasn't about not knowing.

[741] One on one on my podcast all the time, I'll go, Dex.

[742] Dex?

[743] Yes.

[744] When we're first, like, I found like that's just kind of a way of drawing in.

[745] That's my insecurity.

[746] But I do understand what you're saying, and I apologize.

[747] It's okay.

[748] When you say I'm an alcoholic, I would think.

[749] as Monica, who I know, and you're gorgeous, by the way, would say, oh, I'm sorry by mentioning that you're an alcoholic, because I don't drink, and I'm not an alcoholic.

[750] You don't drink?

[751] No, never.

[752] I'm not a sober boy.

[753] You'll have a drink.

[754] I mean, a couple times a year.

[755] So if you tell them I don't drink, you're fucking lying, Ricky.

[756] You're a goddamn liar.

[757] You do drink.

[758] It's just very sporadic.

[759] I mean, truly, maybe two a year.

[760] Okay.

[761] And I take six.

[762] That's not drinking.

[763] Yeah.

[764] But when I say that, people are like, okay.

[765] Now, this is where we can get into.

[766] my ego.

[767] I think it's really nerdy to not drink.

[768] Like me personally where I come from to be a dude who doesn't drink, that's very weird.

[769] Why wouldn't you drink?

[770] It's a good time.

[771] So I wanted to be clear.

[772] It's not that I'm a teetotal or a fucking nerd.

[773] I'm a hardcore alcoholic.

[774] That is where my ego comes in of just saying instead of I don't drink versus I'm an alcoholic.

[775] I still would way rather you think of me as someone who had too much than just never was interested.

[776] Oh, wow.

[777] Yeah.

[778] But you're trying to work on not doing that.

[779] Give me options.

[780] I'm someone who's never drank.

[781] I'm someone who drinks casually, and then I'm someone who can't drink.

[782] I'd like to be casual drink, that sounds best.

[783] And then second to that, I'd like to be an alcoholic.

[784] I don't want to be someone who was never curious about drinking or doesn't drink.

[785] It's totally okay, but what to you does it mean?

[786] Someone who's really listened to the warnings in life and chose to not do anything dangerous, and someone who's totally afraid to lose control.

[787] There's a lot of things that I think are implicit in someone who's never been interested in having alcohol.

[788] Then formed by where I'm from, I'm from an alcoholic town.

[789] The five people that didn't drink were fucking up in the clouds, religious people that were really judgmental.

[790] So I have an association with people who just straight up have never drank.

[791] And so because that's where I'm from, I don't want you to think I'm that person.

[792] I'm not someone who's like too good to drink or too moral to drink.

[793] I'm an alcoholic.

[794] Yeah, and you've defined your identity.

[795] I've never smoked a cigarette.

[796] Same.

[797] And I would imagine at this point, you probably won't.

[798] No. Because once I smoke one, now I don't have that thing anymore.

[799] Do you connect to that?

[800] Yeah.

[801] I get that, but smoking's not.

[802] There wasn't a temperance movement against smoking.

[803] There's a moral imperative for people about drinking.

[804] There's dry counties in the religious belt.

[805] Like, it's different than smoking.

[806] I understand the smoking thing, and I think that's cool if someone never smoked.

[807] But likewise, this weird thing happens.

[808] And then you say, I do weird things sometimes.

[809] Well, that's true.

[810] But also you're autistic.

[811] Right.

[812] So why wouldn't you just say, I'm autistic if you're dating a girl?

[813] I feel like now we've gotten caught in the little thing where we're debating the, validity to that.

[814] No, no, I get it.

[815] No, I'm saying, I think there's an equivalency here.

[816] I don't understand social cues, you could say, or whatever thing you're telling me right now that you like to warn people about and invite them into what you're going through so we can all have the right expectation.

[817] You could do that without any explanation, which you're free to do.

[818] I wouldn't care one way or another.

[819] Or you're free to say, I am neurodivergent.

[820] Because of that, I do X, Y, and Z. You know, here's where I think I'd like to connect with you.

[821] And then I want to make sure we go back to where this originated, which was the need to open and communicate through comedy.

[822] Yes, which I think is bigger than being an alcoholic for you and whatever it is for me and most people that do it.

[823] But where I do want to connect with that is it's actually the exact inverse, but same logic.

[824] When I was first diagnosed with autism, I was so excited because oh, here's why.

[825] When you're first telling me on the phone, like, I thought I'd just liked wearing shorts.

[826] Right.

[827] I'm sensitive to feel, smells, and sounds.

[828] The issue with pants are the waistline.

[829] What I've learned to do is just get big pants now.

[830] Have a belt and have them sag a little.

[831] You got a hack.

[832] Yeah, the way certain things feel or sound or smell, nobody likes a car alarm going off.

[833] But you could still like, all right, hold on.

[834] Well, why don't we go to the other end of the lot?

[835] You know, you're still there.

[836] I'm out.

[837] And I'm not able to be present anymore.

[838] So you find ways around things.

[839] That wasn't the big one.

[840] The big one was my social unawareness.

[841] I have a joke because my stomach hurts all the time and I'm always anxious and loud noises bother me. And I found out that I'm autistic.

[842] My whole life, I just thought I was Jewish.

[843] and like just you know you kind of like validate these things because no my family and we are this way yeah but when i first found out i was so excited about this thing that i couldn't wait to tell people no no no don't worry i haven't been a bad guy i haven't yes autism comedically using it as an excuse but not really it's like a larry david routine yeah i mean there's a reason yes yeah in fact i've noticed and it has actually helped some of my relationships not that i necessarily love this shorthand but the fact that they now oh this makes sense especially when they've learned more about it.

[844] I trust your intentions more now.

[845] Yes.

[846] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[847] We've all been there.

[848] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[849] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[850] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[851] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[852] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[853] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[854] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[855] Follow Mr. Ballin's medical mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[856] Prime members can Listen early and ad free on Amazon Music.

[857] What's up, guys?

[858] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[859] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[860] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[861] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[862] And I don't mean just friends.

[863] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[864] The list goes on.

[865] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[866] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[867] I'm going to go even a step further.

[868] I think in life we all are aspiring to the realization that everything is about the person.

[869] When someone says something to you and you take offense to it, you generally will feel bad.

[870] But then if you can remind yourself, this is about them.

[871] They said that because they have their own thing and their own story going on.

[872] But for whatever reason, because when you say you're autistic, people actually now can go, oh, that's about Ricky.

[873] I don't need to be offended by that thing or feel less than or whatever thing got triggered.

[874] But they almost need a medical reason to realize.

[875] everything someone says.

[876] Which I don't like.

[877] Right.

[878] But it's true.

[879] Yeah.

[880] I don't like it.

[881] And I don't like it for multiple reasons.

[882] I also like it because it works.

[883] Uh -huh.

[884] Sure.

[885] But the reason I don't like it is because I don't think my oddness is because I'm autistic.

[886] I think that my autism gets in the way of me recognizing how other people receive my oddness, perhaps.

[887] When I booked my show, as we see it, about autism, I was very scared of promoting it.

[888] Of course.

[889] Because I was scared of being a spokesperson for something that I was still learning about.

[890] You said on Trevor Noah, this identity I wanted to take on.

[891] I didn't understand how to explain.

[892] And I didn't want to be obligated to be a spokesperson about a thing I was still learning about myself.

[893] I think that's so incredible.

[894] And I think so many people are in that situation, whatever thing they might represent.

[895] Yeah.

[896] The diagnosis where it was at first beneficial to me because people were like, oh, I get it now.

[897] I also found that some people in my life said, yeah, obviously.

[898] And some people said, that's not what autism is.

[899] A few things aren't a spectrum, though.

[900] Yeah, they all present.

[901] Cancer's a spectrum.

[902] How bad is it?

[903] I would talk about it on stage.

[904] Sometimes it would just be electric and then sometimes what the fuck is he doing?

[905] When I got off stage, some people, especially parents of people with autism, would come up to me and you remind me of my son and I love that you're speaking.

[906] And it made me feel really good because I was doing it at first to shorthand explain things.

[907] And then it gave me something where people were connecting with me in a way that you both have talked about in this podcast.

[908] is every human's need.

[909] Yeah.

[910] If I'm a parent of some younger kid who you remind me of, and I'm seeing you on stage be very competent and in control and having a life, you make me feel safe.

[911] It's made me feel.

[912] You can have, my kid can have a future.

[913] You're doing great.

[914] I would love for my kid to be you.

[915] And that's what our, as we see at show, has also done, especially that I've been going around and meeting so many families.

[916] Well, because when we talk about representation, like we've talked about it for Indians a ton on this show for obvious reasons, but Apu is the only representation right and then likewise rain man yeah people think anyone from the 80s yes that you can count cards and you i mean you can do that cool trick with the acronyms a little unfortunate but talk about underrepresented like that was the singular case that we all knew what autistic was is meant you were a savant also people afterwards would say that's not what autism is and they don't know also i don't know and then i started to get insecure am i selling something by explaining, well, you don't know me as a kid.

[917] You know, you don't know that a lot of the things that I've adapted to.

[918] You don't know what's going on my, I mean, that's not what I was saying.

[919] Right.

[920] And you don't know what it's like for me. Just as much as I don't know what it's like for you, but it just felt dirty.

[921] The only thing that I felt I could do, which I also didn't like, but it was the best case scenario, is to just say, okay, but I didn't want to have to say okay anymore.

[922] So not only did I stop talking about this thing that 10 minutes ago, I was so relieved to discover.

[923] It was like a superpower to me. If you were to find out you were dyslexic today.

[924] It wouldn't mean that now you read worse.

[925] It would just explain the way you think.

[926] Why it took me so fucking long.

[927] So it wasn't like something happened to me. It's just defining myself better and also giving me literal books.

[928] Well, there is comfort in understanding.

[929] Yes.

[930] Great comfort.

[931] Well, and I also think societally, we love to know, is it bothering you that I have one show on?

[932] Not at all.

[933] I'm still feeling a little worried that I did the Monica, Monica, Monica joke.

[934] Look, no, that's my insecurity.

[935] I can own that.

[936] I'm sorry that I brought you into that.

[937] Anyway, we like to know Autism is a limitation.

[938] We know that.

[939] There are limitations.

[940] It comes with this.

[941] Dislexia, it's a limitation.

[942] So what we don't like is to know that everyone actually has legit limitations that we...

[943] All humans.

[944] Every human has one.

[945] That is as established as dyslexia.

[946] I want to pile on that.

[947] That's a great point.

[948] It's almost like we operate with some fear that we have a finite amount of compassion and a finite amount of patience.

[949] So it's like, okay, I'm willing to give it to this.

[950] guy in the wheelchair.

[951] But if I find out he was walking when he got home, I'm going to feel very betrayed.

[952] I've noticed that people assume deaf people are kind.

[953] Whenever you see somebody signing like, well, look at this good person.

[954] Well, but also if that person was rude, you'd be like, yeah, but I get it because they have a limitation.

[955] They have an obstacle that I could see as opposed to it's not assuming.

[956] David Foster Wallace has some speech.

[957] And other people have paraphrased this logic before, but basically you don't know what the person in front of you is going through type of thing.

[958] But he really kind of spelled it out to explain.

[959] not only do you not know, they are going through something that is unseen and un -understandable to you at the moment.

[960] It doesn't mean you have to just allow people to take advantage of you.

[961] I know.

[962] To have built an empathy that something is going on.

[963] And that's what the autism thing I found did, which I didn't like that it was a cheat because that shouldn't be the thing.

[964] Exactly.

[965] Because everybody has a lot of things.

[966] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[967] And they're as embedded in your body and brain as autism, as dyslexia as other things.

[968] But some things aren't defined.

[969] Yeah.

[970] They're just not defined.

[971] Yeah.

[972] This kind of comes into a lot of jurisprudence arguments.

[973] People think it's binary that if you're to be compassionate towards a criminal, then the next step is they don't go to jail.

[974] And I'm always arguing, you can have both things.

[975] You can punish people for things and also be compassionate.

[976] What got them in that situation, try to figure how to get less people in that situation.

[977] I feel like a lot of people looking at the Avengers model would understand Thanos.

[978] Yeah, there's a lot of people.

[979] It's overpopulated.

[980] There's pollution.

[981] The world is being killed.

[982] I don't want half of the universe to die.

[983] But I get what he's doing.

[984] I haven't seen it, so I can't join you.

[985] I can't either.

[986] Yeah, I'm so sorry.

[987] Well, basically the idea of when you're watching a movie or hearing a story where just having multiple dimensions to the villain and understand why, but not necessarily agreeing with the approach.

[988] Well, I think people are afraid.

[989] What's next?

[990] We're going to identify this person as they don't have to be held responsible.

[991] And this person doesn't have to be held responsible.

[992] I think that's where they're...

[993] I think that's where they're...

[994] Right, exactly.

[995] That's all I'm trying to deline in is the goal isn't to not have boundaries or to let people abuse you or take advantage of you.

[996] It is to not take things.

[997] personal.

[998] If we minimally just recognize people were going through some shit, you don't need to make it about you.

[999] When you take it off of you, like what you said earlier, and when you could empathize and more specifically understand to accept the other person, if you step on my shoe, my shoe's still dirty.

[1000] I can still be upset about it.

[1001] I don't give a fuck that you're blind.

[1002] Okay.

[1003] It might at least offer additional perspective to where instead of me hating this person and I'm being triggered, I'm disappointed about this thing, but I get it.

[1004] Yeah, because today I got some flack on Instagram, obviously.

[1005] I was expecting this, but our other show, we did an episode on dog shows, which really was cat shows.

[1006] Some people weren't crazy about that.

[1007] But I don't like dogs.

[1008] And that's hard for a lot of people.

[1009] People are really bummed about that.

[1010] People do comment on that.

[1011] I'm a dog guy.

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] I don't want dogs to die.

[1014] It's not like I'm anti -dog.

[1015] You just want them locked up.

[1016] No. You just want them in the kennel.

[1017] No, we get it.

[1018] She's not saying I dislike them.

[1019] She's saying I don't like them.

[1020] Yes.

[1021] That's the distinction.

[1022] For me, mainly, it's about the owner.

[1023] I don't think they're responsible dog owners.

[1024] Well, there are responsible parents either.

[1025] Well, exactly.

[1026] I think that's a problem when you're on the phone and your dog's biting me. That's a problem for me. Anyway, I got some flack about that.

[1027] And then I was thinking, it's so quote wrong to not like dogs, but it's based in legit fear and stuff that I'm not overcoming for you.

[1028] That's a limitation I have.

[1029] May I?

[1030] Yes.

[1031] Two things.

[1032] One, as a politician, I would phrase it as I'm not a dog.

[1033] person.

[1034] And two, we're going to get some flak, but here we go.

[1035] It's not the same stakes.

[1036] But that is a similar mindset to racism.

[1037] That you've had a couple of experiences with a couple of things that now condition.

[1038] I'm 100 % correct.

[1039] No, you're not.

[1040] I was expecting someone to say something like this.

[1041] So I would like you to finish.

[1042] You've already rehearsed.

[1043] Oh, no, please, please go.

[1044] No, no. That inherently is my problem, that people are equating dogs to humans.

[1045] And they are not the same.

[1046] Humans should be prioritized over dogs.

[1047] I eat cows.

[1048] So take this for what it's worth because I'm a hypocrite.

[1049] Yeah, yeah, you eat cows.

[1050] I've been eating a lot less meat recently.

[1051] You eat chickens, I imagine?

[1052] I fucking eat the fuck out of them.

[1053] I eat the fuck up the chicken, but I've been doing a lot better.

[1054] And the main reason is I follow so many animals on Instagram, and I look at this thing.

[1055] And listen, I couldn't say I like a lot of people.

[1056] I eat people sometimes.

[1057] I'm trying to eat them less.

[1058] So I get that.

[1059] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1060] But here we go.

[1061] You're racist.

[1062] No, no, no, no. I'm joking.

[1063] I'm joking.

[1064] I'm joking, I'm joking.

[1065] Yeah, I was attacked by two Dovermans when I was like eight years old, and it scared the fuck out of me. And my homeostasis with dogs is high alert.

[1066] Good word.

[1067] High alert or homeostasis?

[1068] High alert.

[1069] Or just high, hi, hi.

[1070] Which is a big dog picture behind you both.

[1071] That's Jack this dog.

[1072] Okay.

[1073] Back to comedy.

[1074] Breaking the ice with some comedy.

[1075] Close the loop.

[1076] Right.

[1077] As much as it was nice that people said this, that we like that we see our family and representation, I also hated the feeling so much of selling myself.

[1078] that not only did I stop talking about it on stage, I stopped talking about it.

[1079] I got unbelievably depressed for a couple of years because directly analogous to the basketball thing, I'm the best player out there.

[1080] I'm the first one picked.

[1081] Not only is that not true.

[1082] Not only am I often the last one picked.

[1083] They didn't want me there.

[1084] And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[1085] I am the best.

[1086] And by the way, not one person, enough to where I'm asked not to come for a little bit.

[1087] So I still don't get it.

[1088] I believe it, though.

[1089] So now I'm, obviously.

[1090] basically walking around the beach with a blindfold on trying not to cross the line in the sand that keeps moving.

[1091] So I'm just scared to walk.

[1092] Because at this point you have no tools.

[1093] You just have an awareness.

[1094] Imagine you're an alcoholic, but not knowing which drinks have alcohol in it.

[1095] And so you're just trying not to drink stuff.

[1096] Yes.

[1097] And then you're second guessing and I still do it sometimes.

[1098] I'm constantly apologizing.

[1099] I'm constantly saying, I'm sorry about the Monica thing.

[1100] I'm constantly checking in.

[1101] Not because I think I did something wrong, but because I'm aware of the reality that most people will not say, hey, Rick, I want to kind of resolve something.

[1102] So I'm forcing a resolution as something that people aren't even thinking about.

[1103] Well, you're right sometimes and you're wrong sometimes.

[1104] So it's easier to stay home, not talk to people.

[1105] Order Postmates.

[1106] You had some obsession with some deal.

[1107] What was that?

[1108] Dating a girl, you know me. Oh, man. You're always dating.

[1109] And this is relevant.

[1110] She is very wealthy.

[1111] On Postmates, there's a bachelor, bachelorette postmates deal, free delivery from anywhere.

[1112] This is pre -COVID.

[1113] So, you know, delivery was expensive.

[1114] And I love Lucifer's pizza.

[1115] Shout out to you, by the way, Dex, who turned me on to it.

[1116] They have a great gluten -free.

[1117] Beautiful.

[1118] They don't deliver.

[1119] It's $12 on top of the Zah, so I don't get it.

[1120] But today, I know I'm getting it.

[1121] Yeah.

[1122] All day I'm thinking about it.

[1123] You build your whole weekend around it.

[1124] Yeah.

[1125] I do remember driving Sunday afternoon thinking about, I could even go pick it up because I'm on my way home.

[1126] It's like, nope, fuck it.

[1127] Bring it to me, baby.

[1128] Yes, of course.

[1129] I type in all the modifications.

[1130] I don't know, three minutes of typing things at the time.

[1131] at an Instagram account, Jew mods, which was all, I'm so sorry.

[1132] Thank you so much, by the way.

[1133] Basil helps me digest it.

[1134] And I type it all in and then the discount isn't there.

[1135] And I'm like, what is going on?

[1136] And I tried it again and it wasn't working.

[1137] And my then girlfriend was like, I'll order.

[1138] And that's why I say it's relevant because also she has a lot of money.

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] Yeah.

[1141] It's not a money thing.

[1142] It's a no, I was getting this.

[1143] I was told this.

[1144] Yeah.

[1145] And like a lawyer, I've never finished a book.

[1146] I read an hour.

[1147] of terms and conditions.

[1148] And then at the end, it says, while supplies last.

[1149] I'm like, what supply?

[1150] Yeah, of drivers?

[1151] I'm spinning.

[1152] Whatever you think of autism, what you think it is, see me cross -leg, covering my ears, rocking while this beautiful, rich girl is like, dude, I'm just ordering sushi.

[1153] And I'm like, I'm not getting anything.

[1154] I'm not getting anything.

[1155] There's another story of something that feels superficial to acknowledge, but it was this offer for this job that a lawyer messed up.

[1156] And I lost a lot of money.

[1157] And I was upset the same day, but I'm on the floor rocking about this pizza.

[1158] And the difference was that offer wasn't closed.

[1159] I never had the money.

[1160] You hadn't decided that was what was happening.

[1161] Right.

[1162] It's an expectation.

[1163] Yeah.

[1164] And something that I learned is a common trait with autism is a difficulty adapting to situations.

[1165] Of course, I would much rather the money.

[1166] But chemically, for whatever reason, it didn't feel like the money was taken for me. It felt like I didn't get it.

[1167] This is what's so fascinating.

[1168] So whatever the Venn diagrams are, right?

[1169] Like, I'm not autistic that I know about, but I had.

[1170] had so much OCD stuff as a kid, right?

[1171] And then I have major moments like that throughout my life, too.

[1172] So it's like, there's just all this weird overlap.

[1173] So a lot of people think autism is a spectrum as far as where are you on the spectrum?

[1174] Right.

[1175] Are you at one?

[1176] Are you at 10?

[1177] Technically, that's not what the spectrum means.

[1178] The spectrum is a spectrum of, maybe there's a better term for this, but I'll call them character traits, that everybody has at some level.

[1179] Obsess of compulsive disorder, anxiety, difficult with speech.

[1180] A love of shorts.

[1181] It's stomach issues, nonverbal, not picking up on facial expressions, hyperfocus in certain things, difficultly adapting, not recognizing alternative perspectives, all these things, right?

[1182] Where everybody could be like, oh, I connect to that.

[1183] I relate to that.

[1184] The way it's diagnosed is if you have four or five of these, what I'll call character traits, at a certain level.

[1185] I don't know how this means.

[1186] I can't diagnose somebody.

[1187] So having OCD doesn't mean you're autistic.

[1188] That blows our last part of the show.

[1189] Which is what?

[1190] I was going to have you diagnose Monica and I. Give us a number.

[1191] But the other funny thing is You got to layer in the childhood You and I are from similar areas You're from a Cleveland suburb I'm from a Detroit suburb I won't speak for Cleveland Where I was from You paid a pretty hefty price For being abnormal There was some physical threats Around every corner From your peers, like kids?

[1192] From my peers It's a violent group of kids And also I had to have a defense Ready for everything Like I walked around With three things in my back pocket How I would defend myself About this and about that Not literally, but just comebacks Comebacks, yeah Because I felt like I was getting attacked a lot.

[1193] And then the voice, right?

[1194] So the voice, you're doing the thing on stage.

[1195] You're telling people are autistic.

[1196] Oh, my God, people are going to think I'm profiting from this or I'm lying about this.

[1197] So that, too, for me, is the voice in my head from where I'm from.

[1198] If I say I'm molested, my first thing I hear is like, you need so much attention.

[1199] What do you need sympathy?

[1200] You need attention?

[1201] I don't know how much I consciously connect with them thinking I'm doing it for sympathy or attention.

[1202] I get what you're saying.

[1203] I just think of it as less specific and just judgment.

[1204] Maybe that's what they're judging it.

[1205] I haven't connected that that's the thing because I wasn't bullied as a kid.

[1206] I also wasn't included.

[1207] Similar to me thinking I'm the first one picked, I actually grew up thinking I had friends, people liked me. It wasn't until an adult that I recognized, I didn't.

[1208] Nobody was mean to me though.

[1209] Okay.

[1210] Like you thought you and Dax connected at Werewolves and Mafia.

[1211] That's a great actual example of that.

[1212] Right.

[1213] I would call friends to play over and they couldn't.

[1214] I didn't realize.

[1215] I remember I called a buddy for a year.

[1216] And instead of saying, Rick, I don't want to, you wrestle too aggressively and I don't want you to touch me so much.

[1217] They would say my mom won't let me. So I would ask if their mom could talk to my mom and the wrestling rules about whatever.

[1218] Yeah.

[1219] My mom did all the time.

[1220] Because my mom also, I guess, believed.

[1221] So now moms have to lie to my mom.

[1222] I just keep going up.

[1223] Your mom's like, can I speak to your manager?

[1224] Yeah.

[1225] I used to play outside because there's a lot of kids in my neighborhood and we would play basketball or frisbee because the kids didn't say go away.

[1226] But whenever they would go inside, they say you're not allowed inside.

[1227] I know it didn't feel good.

[1228] But I didn't know.

[1229] I had no idea.

[1230] Obviously, like everything, this becomes your greatest sword.

[1231] You're compulsive.

[1232] You're fucking show.

[1233] The fact that you're doing all this on your own and you've got all these cameras running and then you're going to edit the whole thing and then you're going to put in this animation.

[1234] That is you obsessing about the fucking coupon.

[1235] So like on one hand, it's very much serving you.

[1236] And so it's this great asset.

[1237] I want to acknowledge, Monica, what you said about limitations, which exists.

[1238] But with obstacles also come strengths.

[1239] And a lot of times, I think of people having attribute points in a video game and you have 100 points.

[1240] And when you're down a few on these, you have extra points to give to other places.

[1241] And that's also where it goes into expectation of, am I weaker, dumber, slower, more annoying, or is it in the culture of more neurotypical people whose expectations are different than mine, it clashes?

[1242] And that's why I connect so strongly.

[1243] And people who have these eccentricities and differences, it doesn't mean that our differences are the same.

[1244] But when someone says to me, hey, dude, do you mind putting your phone face up or whatever they're made up thing, I won't get it, but I get what it's like to have things.

[1245] So it's easier to accept.

[1246] Right.

[1247] I come into your house and I got to take my shoes off.

[1248] It's a big thing for you.

[1249] It's wild to me that that's not a thing for everyone.

[1250] That's just logical.

[1251] A lot of people do have that rule.

[1252] Well, some people.

[1253] Yeah.

[1254] I called my podcast, take your shoes off because that's the gateway into all the other things.

[1255] Put your phone in the phone cleaner, wash your hands.

[1256] But again, it doesn't bother me in one iota when I come over and I got to take my shoes off.

[1257] Now, in general, I don't like having my shoes off.

[1258] I'm someone that would wear shoes in my bed if I thought that was sanitary.

[1259] But I have no intention of eating anything.

[1260] thing off my floor or putting my tongue on it, so I don't really care how dirty the floor is.

[1261] I'm not going to be face to face with the floor.

[1262] I eat off my floor.

[1263] Oh, well, that makes total sense.

[1264] Yes.

[1265] Maybe it has nothing to do with the other broader topic.

[1266] Okay, we talked about undatable, but then what was great is you kind of took those frustrations you were feeling and then you made this show, a digital show called The Sixth Lead, which is just you.

[1267] It's your own thing.

[1268] And you're making a show, making fun of the fact that you're the sixth lead on this show.

[1269] And it's brilliant.

[1270] There's a particular episode with you and Sam Richardson where he's at the guard check I'll laugh and I break sometimes, but I'm really good at staying in character.

[1271] Yes.

[1272] Not an issue for me. I laughed so many times with him.

[1273] He is truly one of the funniest people in the world.

[1274] He is someone that I just like incrementally every single thing.

[1275] Wow, he was perfect in that thing.

[1276] Oh my God, he's in this thing.

[1277] Wow, that was hard to be perfect.

[1278] He was perfect before he started filming when he was wearing his security guard outfit and I was still setting up.

[1279] Also, this is the first time I got to direct something where we have craft services.

[1280] We have security guards.

[1281] And he's sitting between one of the security guards and craft services as a security.

[1282] guard talking for me to here when I wasn't necessarily there, just asking people, what do you guys filming over here?

[1283] It just comes in this belt in the front, you know, security guard posture.

[1284] Yeah, he's incredible.

[1285] So I already thought you were brilliant.

[1286] Then I also think you're one of the best follows on Instagram.

[1287] It's worth saying that in your, is still in your bio, Jewish heartthrob?

[1288] Is that part of your bio?

[1289] Yeah.

[1290] Yeah.

[1291] So you're a self -proclaimed Jewish heartthrob, although technically it's now official.

[1292] I saw that this morning.

[1293] Yeah.

[1294] When you were dating Betty, some article I saw and said Betty steps out with Jewish heartthrobbing quotes.

[1295] Is that what you're talking about?

[1296] No, it must be all over the place.

[1297] There's another one where it was four -hour show, but the cover was a picture of me and Jewish heartthrob and other autistic.

[1298] Jewish heartthrob was the lead.

[1299] Well, you were described in this kind of tabloidie piece as a Jewish heartthrob in quotes.

[1300] Yeah, there's been a few of them.

[1301] It worked.

[1302] Oh, my God, that's so great.

[1303] And another great thing you do is you do a Glassman Bob.

[1304] Yeah.

[1305] Will you explain people what a glassman bob with?

[1306] You get them and you get them good.

[1307] What's that mean?

[1308] If someone happens to step out of line, I don't like to acknowledge trolls because you just open the door.

[1309] But sometimes when somebody throws a lob ball, listen, I hate to do it, but they're going to get bopped, Glassman Bob.

[1310] Oh, God.

[1311] So it makes one of them most importantly, it's hashtag Glassman Bob.

[1312] And listen, people love to get popped.

[1313] It's a right of passage.

[1314] It's like being brought over to the couch and Carson.

[1315] That's right.

[1316] It's like a friar's roast.

[1317] It's just you've made it if you've been Glassman Bob.

[1318] To a stranger that calls me a Jew fuck.

[1319] Come over to the couch, buddy.

[1320] So great Instagram follow.

[1321] I encourage everyone.

[1322] What is your handle on Instagram?

[1323] It's very simple.

[1324] It's at Rick Glassman.

[1325] That is really simple.

[1326] And the at sign, not at.

[1327] ARG.

[1328] You also had a really funny phantom account.

[1329] And I think you granted me access to it, which is the fake facts.

[1330] I don't use it anymore, but we were good at that.

[1331] I revisited that a few months ago.

[1332] Oh, you did?

[1333] Yeah.

[1334] There was all these different Twitter accounts where they would give you random facts.

[1335] And they got quite popular.

[1336] Okay.

[1337] So Ricky invented one.

[1338] And he would make up facts.

[1339] The theme of it.

[1340] It wasn't to be outrageous.

[1341] It was to be, this seems real.

[1342] Yeah, so you had to write a fact that seemed plausible, Monica.

[1343] Okay.

[1344] We would write them together.

[1345] It was so fun for me because I didn't even know.

[1346] And I would see, ooh, that's posted something.

[1347] Yeah, you invited me into the account.

[1348] Crazy Earth Facts.

[1349] Yeah, that's what it was called.

[1350] Here's some of them.

[1351] The only difference between Thousand Island dressing and the secret sauce on the McDonald's Big Mac is, get this whipping cream.

[1352] Seems believable, right?

[1353] It could be believable.

[1354] Yeah.

[1355] This one is yours, I know.

[1356] Every genus of aunt masturbates by sucking its own penis Okay It sounds like you, yeah Are you sure?

[1357] Yeah Tom Hanks and Will Smith Are the only two actors To lead in at least five movies in a row Which grossed over $100 million Oh, that's great I would totally believe that Yeah Chicago is home to 382 Fortune 500 companies More than 75 % The next largest occupiers New York City with 45 companies Yeah, that's great So they're not funny Yeah But once you know That they're not, you know I'm really disappointed in mine.

[1358] I wish you would have found a better one.

[1359] I'm sorry, let me look.

[1360] No, it's okay.

[1361] I can live with it.

[1362] You're a nemesis to fact checker.

[1363] Pizza Hut was originally named Pizza Hutch, cartoon.

[1364] And featured cartoon rabbits on all signage.

[1365] A copyright lawsuit forced the change.

[1366] Oh, my God.

[1367] That was you?

[1368] No, that was me. That's great.

[1369] I'll read one last one because talking about Rain Man, bring it all together.

[1370] This is yours involving toothpicks.

[1371] The great grandfather of Harold Pickford, the manufacturer of the first toothpick, was one of eight men to sign the 1763 Treaty of Paris.

[1372] Oh, that's good.

[1373] Thank you.

[1374] Thank you.

[1375] I think I would be encouraged by yours.

[1376] Like, oh, you went European.

[1377] Well, there was right before this, says the toothpick was first manufactured by inventor Harold Pickford, great uncle of screen legend, Mary Pickford.

[1378] Oh, okay, right.

[1379] And then I added to it.

[1380] Are you going to keep some of those in?

[1381] Yeah.

[1382] No. A couple.

[1383] The only thing that I'm really promoting on this is this account that I'm locked on on Twitter.

[1384] Stay tuned for more armchair experts.

[1385] If you dare Okay, you do this great show As we see it, it's incredible I think it's so ironic and lovely That you ended up working with Catam's I think there's something really incredible about that Yeah, I saw an announcement for his show And then when I got an audition, I messaged you But I just wanted to tell you how cool is this?

[1386] Yes.

[1387] Also about this thing, autism That I was just diagnosed with a couple years ago Yes, I think you and I benefited From the same kind of work environment I'll speak for myself I'm not gonna really shine if you asked me to do something maybe Lawrence Olivier can do.

[1388] Or if I got to say everything exactly right and it's got to be the thing you imagine in your head, I'm not probably the best at executing what was in your head.

[1389] But if you let me find my way into it, I can do something kind of good.

[1390] And there's a huge latitude to do that when you work for Jason Ketoms.

[1391] Speaking specifically of you in Parenthood, wow.

[1392] The show's fantastic.

[1393] But I remember I watched it after I got this audition because I'd never seen it before.

[1394] I thought I would only watch a couple episodes to learn the tone that he was doing.

[1395] I watched the whole thing in less than a month.

[1396] And I remember messaging you're so good.

[1397] And you said you had a tangible part of a reason to it, which is there's three cameras going at the same time.

[1398] All the improv is picked up.

[1399] You don't have to burn by doing so many takes to where you lose it.

[1400] You don't have to worry about whose coverage is who's.

[1401] You don't have to worry about the blocking as much.

[1402] And all of those things have become in is you don't have to worry.

[1403] You're out of your head.

[1404] You get to just be present.

[1405] So there's just a confidence of knowing if you do something and sound in your coverage, you're like, I want to try to do that again.

[1406] There's none of that.

[1407] It sucks then.

[1408] And also the days are shorter, or the scenes at least are shorter.

[1409] You get to stay in a pocket.

[1410] And that happens in comedies.

[1411] Curbier enthusiasm is that way.

[1412] It inspired the sixth lead.

[1413] I mean, it's just bad Kirby enthusiasm.

[1414] You're just picking up everything.

[1415] And comedies could do that.

[1416] But dramas never do that.

[1417] Yeah.

[1418] I told you you you're going to be miserable for the rest of your career.

[1419] It's like playing coach after first class.

[1420] Yes.

[1421] Or maybe even worse.

[1422] It's a brilliant show with brilliant actors and everyone's doing a great job.

[1423] And I'm just like, oh my God, he's doing all the things.

[1424] It feels so cool to do like acting.

[1425] Yes.

[1426] Yes.

[1427] And then you and I were in the exact same situation again.

[1428] I had only done comedies before I did parenthood.

[1429] I'm on parenthood.

[1430] My instincts to go out and promote parenthood with some weird thing in my mind about I'm a comedian or whatever the thing is, there's a transition.

[1431] Yeah.

[1432] And fear that if I'm just a guy out there that they're saying acted well in the show, that that wouldn't be enough or something.

[1433] And then to watch you launch into this knowing that I'm going to have to talk about autism.

[1434] That's not how I want to be on talk shows.

[1435] And also very scared that if I make jokes, you know, I'm only five years into recognizing I'm always on.

[1436] I'm always making jokes.

[1437] And now it's not about me. It's about the show.

[1438] And it's also about a community of people that is much bigger than what I am while I'm in this odd position to be speaking for them, which I now know isn't what it is.

[1439] Now I know that it is a person speaking on their specific experience.

[1440] Dr. Stephen Shore has a quote that is, if you've met one individual with autism, it means you've met one individual with autism.

[1441] Everyone's different.

[1442] But I was inversely to what you were wanting to do, but the same worry.

[1443] A bunch of racket.

[1444] I didn't want to do jokes because am I allowed?

[1445] And during the press, as we were doing, I didn't know jokes.

[1446] And then I made one.

[1447] And I was, oh, my God.

[1448] And I called Jason.

[1449] Jason, was this okay?

[1450] And he goes, it's fine.

[1451] So then a little bit more jokes, a little bit more jokes.

[1452] And then by the end of it, I'm just up there doing stand -up.

[1453] Sure, sure.

[1454] Two sincere things.

[1455] Then ring, bang, boom.

[1456] Well, that's who you are.

[1457] Yeah.

[1458] There was a lot of, that was our most busy texting phase.

[1459] Your launch of this show, as we see, it took off.

[1460] were starting to book a lot of stuff.

[1461] I remember you get, when they dress you.

[1462] You get a stylist.

[1463] Yes, a stylist.

[1464] Yeah.

[1465] And they give you a budget.

[1466] And a season one streaming show doesn't have as big of a budget.

[1467] So they gave a budget for me to go on the daily show.

[1468] We were doing a lot of Zoom press, which was waste up.

[1469] Sure.

[1470] They gave me budget for waste up.

[1471] I had to pay $250.

[1472] So I could get some pants to go with this out of my own money when I'm flying to remember about the show.

[1473] And that didn't sit well with me. Right.

[1474] It became a little bit of a coupon.

[1475] So what I wanted to do was, acknowledge it by not also having to pay the $250.

[1476] So my bit was, and I texted you about this, I wanted to go out there in a jacket, shirt, tie, groomed, but below some shorts and swim trunks and sandals or something.

[1477] And have it be brought up when I walk out, because you only see that on the walkup, by the way.

[1478] So it's not this loud thing to have Trevor have asked me what is going on and say Amazon didn't have a budget.

[1479] He only had waist up.

[1480] Yeah.

[1481] Despite the fact that I'm saying this publicly now, you said not only would that possibly make Amazon look like you shop, are fired.

[1482] You're starting something off as a joke.

[1483] And you said this about my podcast once because I do so much on it.

[1484] And I do all these animations and jokes.

[1485] And I do all this work and I worry when I see other people starting to do similar things.

[1486] And you said to me, it's not all the extra that make your podcast what it is.

[1487] It's you.

[1488] Meaning me, as it is from sure for anybody.

[1489] That was very nice.

[1490] Well, more specifically, people were starting to bite your shit.

[1491] People were starting to imitate what you did on your podcast.

[1492] And I said, don't worry.

[1493] You're the draw of the podcast.

[1494] That other stuff's fun little flourish, but they can't steal their way into being you, and you're the real star of the thing.

[1495] Well, that's what you said about this, because I wanted to be funny.

[1496] You can't go be a boring guess, Ricky.

[1497] If you tried to go out and be vanilla, you can't.

[1498] You don't have that gear.

[1499] I know when somebody is laughing.

[1500] No one could fake laugh.

[1501] I know a real laugh.

[1502] It's very positive.

[1503] I have to imagine from your story and your history, the draw of the stage, which is there's very little to interpret.

[1504] It's on or it's off.

[1505] If it's not a genuine goddamn.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] then I have no idea.

[1508] If you don't glassman, pop them.

[1509] You had convictions just like me, which is why I love interacting with you.

[1510] I feel like I'm arguing with myself when I'm arguing with you on these texts.

[1511] And I was getting like really passionate.

[1512] I love you.

[1513] Don't do this.

[1514] I got a little aggressive one of them.

[1515] I got aggressive one of them.

[1516] Yeah.

[1517] And I apologize.

[1518] And I tell you because I love you so much.

[1519] It was a nice face time.

[1520] Yeah, that's right.

[1521] I needed you to see my face.

[1522] I even put my phone a little high so I looked my best for you.

[1523] All this is this is.

[1524] I see you on Trevor, Noah, and I cried.

[1525] I, like, welled up immediately.

[1526] I had some tears fall down.

[1527] I am so glad that he chose this route.

[1528] It was beautiful.

[1529] It was memorable.

[1530] It was more memorable than any joke you would have made.

[1531] It's a completely different interview if we don't do that FaceTime.

[1532] I'm so glad I didn't because it was very validating the response I got from that.

[1533] It's still being received so well.

[1534] The other version would have contradicted the things that were received so well.

[1535] And it really made me feel so nice that I don't.

[1536] have to be, even though I want to be all the time.

[1537] I don't have to be that thing.

[1538] Right.

[1539] Well, Ricky, it's the journey we hope to all go on and get to, which is, I'm enough.

[1540] I'm enough on my worst day.

[1541] I'm enough on my best day.

[1542] I'm enough for people to like me and love me. And you're beyond enough.

[1543] Thanks.

[1544] Yeah.

[1545] Let's just be honest.

[1546] You and I have both been lucky enough to absorb some of Kadam's cachet.

[1547] Yeah.

[1548] Something happened by me being associated with him that people started taking me much more seriously.

[1549] He does present the opportunity to thrive and be your best, which you were and you were.

[1550] He's a magician.

[1551] He can make that space for people, but you showed up in that space.

[1552] It's also cool to be funny.

[1553] It's just cool.

[1554] People like that.

[1555] But when you're able to show something else, even if it's just a little of something else, Gerard Carmichael, you had on recently.

[1556] He said to me once, people just need to know you could walk and chew gum at the same time, even though everybody could walk and chew gum, mostly.

[1557] Yeah.

[1558] People have to see it first.

[1559] For sure.

[1560] So for them to be able to see.

[1561] us in something other than we got a camera over there you know we got a camera right there they're like oh we could chew gum too yes yes yes yes yes just be still be alive yeah yeah yeah believably alive yeah yeah people need to find this there's one you demonstrate different acting this is before as we see it there's one of my favorite things you did is you would do the many different versions of crying cry acting cry act gum chew acting yeah it's kind of a workshop you provide for people that are maybe getting into the business i see people doing things that they feel they don't need to practice and scene because it's a downbeat, but it takes me out.

[1562] When people wake up and open their eyes, sorry, without yawning or finding the light is a thing.

[1563] You know, it's just like, hey, buddy, I'm out.

[1564] Now honestly.

[1565] Yeah.

[1566] I see it too when people are cheering or they're carrying a cup of coffee, but there's no weight in it.

[1567] Oh, it's right.

[1568] And it's just like.

[1569] Or the bag of groceries that's got styrofoam in it.

[1570] Yeah, with just one baguette.

[1571] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[1572] Hey, if you don't believe it, why?

[1573] am I watching you?

[1574] I would try to give people lessons on the downbeats.

[1575] Yeah, it's kind of like an act of service.

[1576] It's kind of one of the many philanthropic things you do.

[1577] Yeah.

[1578] So I just threw such a curveball at you before you got here.

[1579] I said, do you have a portable keyboard?

[1580] You're like, yeah, I already left the house to get coffee.

[1581] And I was like, okay, no, no problem.

[1582] And then you show up with anything but a portable keyboard.

[1583] I hadn't left.

[1584] I was nervous because the last time I played was probably when Kristen came over a year and a half ago.

[1585] But I think it's just an adorable thing that you're able to do.

[1586] and I wanted to hear you play.

[1587] Sure, I'll play a little something.

[1588] A little Glassman Bob.

[1589] But before I do, I want to say, I listen to two podcasts.

[1590] Shout out to Eric Griffin.

[1591] I listen to his podcast.

[1592] Oh, what's his?

[1593] Tell me about his.

[1594] Riffin with Griffin.

[1595] Oh.

[1596] He's a comedian.

[1597] I just officiated his wedding.

[1598] Oh, my God.

[1599] Wow.

[1600] Another parallel.

[1601] Last week.

[1602] Did you just do that?

[1603] I just did it two months ago.

[1604] Was it your first time?

[1605] Yeah.

[1606] Did you love it?

[1607] I was so nervous.

[1608] And now my rate is going to be so expensive.

[1609] I was so happy, how happy he was with it and the response I got.

[1610] Because also I did it in front of a lot of comedians, some of which really got in my head when I'm walking through and they don't know I'm officiating.

[1611] I'm friends with a lot of these guys and I'm friendly with a lot of these guys.

[1612] Part of the friendly group, I heard say, not for me to hear, is Ricky really doing this?

[1613] Oh.

[1614] You know, and I get it.

[1615] Yeah, and it was just, I was really nervous, but it went really well.

[1616] Did you have this moment?

[1617] I'm in my head.

[1618] Oh, I got to write a thing.

[1619] I cannot make it about myself.

[1620] That's very hard for me to do.

[1621] Like to write something about, I hate to say that, but it's true.

[1622] My go -to is either to be self -deprecate.

[1623] Whatever the thing is, it's always about me. Of course, it's got to be about them.

[1624] So that's its own hurdle.

[1625] I hope I did this good.

[1626] And then what I never thought about until it was happening was I'm standing between two people making this commitment to each other in front of everyone and I'm in the triangle with them and I'm a part of it.

[1627] And oh my God, do I love this?

[1628] Did you have that?

[1629] I actually had not making it about me pass that I consciously did.

[1630] After I wrote, I call my mom instead of saying, Eric did this for me to make it, Eric is the kind of friend who does this.

[1631] And like an actual tangible.

[1632] And it also made me, I really did say a lot of eyes.

[1633] But I knew.

[1634] I knew enough to call my mom and remove so.

[1635] Right, right, right.

[1636] I am like your mom.

[1637] I brought that up because I listen randomly to podcasts here and there, but I listen to Eric's podcast and I listen to this.

[1638] And so cool that I got to do this.

[1639] So thank you both for having me. Well, again, people should definitely go listen to yours.

[1640] Take your shoes off.

[1641] Again, you can listen to Monica.

[1642] You can learn more about Monica.

[1643] And then you and I did the thing that you were.

[1644] worrying we didn't do on yours twice, which is just total chaos and laughing hysterically.

[1645] Yeah, I mean, just non -stop bits.

[1646] You guys are audio -only listeners usually.

[1647] But because I do so much editing and animation, if you watch YouTube, give it a look on YouTube.

[1648] Oh, you'd prefer people watch it on YouTube?

[1649] I prefer people digest however they would.

[1650] There's so much more on YouTube.

[1651] Because of all the visual.

[1652] All the camera switches and edits.

[1653] Do you think some people don't come on because they're like, I'm afraid I'm going to look like shit?

[1654] Maybe.

[1655] I remember you said when I was first starting, one of the reasons you don't do.

[1656] video and Kristen co -signed on this that especially a lot of females feel that I mean not just feel like they are judged and critiqued by the way they're dressed and or look and or don't look you were worried that people wouldn't feel as comfortable I don't think that's the case my biggest objection is I think I am more self -conscious when I know I'm being filmed and I think a lot of people are more self -conscious when they're being filmed what I want you to pay attention to is the story the person's telling you and I don't want you distracted with like oh they get their hair cut are they're bang shorter than this Are they, like, I do it.

[1657] And I say that was zero judgment.

[1658] I don't think every show needs to be that way.

[1659] But just the reason I will never want to do video is, A, I think people are more open and honest because they don't feel like they're being looked at.

[1660] And then secondly, there's no distraction.

[1661] This only exists in your ears.

[1662] I also like acknowledging when Monica looked away or somebody's posture or something, we comment on these things so much, especially because I'm learning.

[1663] Are you really curious about the time when you checked you watch or do you want to leave?

[1664] Like to not have to get out all the exposition of body language that I'm questioning.

[1665] They both were.

[1666] It works perfect for your show.

[1667] Yeah.

[1668] Yeah, yeah.

[1669] Do you feel like you were being watched either of you when you were on mine?

[1670] Do you recall?

[1671] I don't.

[1672] Full honesty, I look like shit on yours.

[1673] I'm also at a point where I don't really care that.

[1674] I don't look good.

[1675] But I just objectively, I look like shit.

[1676] I'm aware of that.

[1677] Well, if you ever come back on either of you and you're unhappy with the way you look, I could blur your face.

[1678] My mom does commercials with me sometimes and she doesn't like her stomach showing.

[1679] Uh -huh.

[1680] She puts a pillow over her, but if not, there's been times where, and it's frame by frame, it's just my mom's head or animate.

[1681] I wonder if I could wear like a mask.

[1682] But you won't know if you don't look until you see it, right?

[1683] I know.

[1684] I don't think you can be objective about that.

[1685] Why don't you hop on the keys?

[1686] Why don't you tickle the ivories for us?

[1687] TTI.

[1688] Pickle the ivories.

[1689] Okay.

[1690] I will never find another lover, sweeter than you.

[1691] Oh, wow.

[1692] Oh, man. I will never find another lover, more precious than you.

[1693] Oh, precious than you.

[1694] Girl, you are.

[1695] So the thing.

[1696] is, I do not, you know, let's comedically sing.

[1697] And for whatever reason, I'm playing the piano in your attic.

[1698] And I felt the confidence, not in my voice, but in the vulnerability.

[1699] It's so uncomfortable to do that.

[1700] I'm proud of you.

[1701] There's something, it's being naked.

[1702] Yeah.

[1703] And then you went, ugh.

[1704] No, I didn't.

[1705] No, we didn't.

[1706] I went, oh.

[1707] I expected you to tickle the ivory.

[1708] I didn't know you were going to tickle your cords.

[1709] I wasn't planning on it.

[1710] I had an apple earlier.

[1711] You tickled the cords and it got me. Pun intended?

[1712] Yes.

[1713] Do you sing?

[1714] Terably.

[1715] Did you pull up the lyrics or something?

[1716] Monica, do you sing?

[1717] You know, I love to sing.

[1718] She can sing and won't sing.

[1719] I can't sing and will sing.

[1720] It's like a Sam I, it's a Dr. Seuss.

[1721] Dr. Seuss.

[1722] All right, what lyrics am I?

[1723] Your song, Elton John?

[1724] And we'll bear with each other as I don't know how much I remember of what.

[1725] But really quick, it's called your song.

[1726] Do you not know it?

[1727] I'm so good.

[1728] I'm sure when I hear it, I will.

[1729] Your song.

[1730] Is it in Moulon Rouge.

[1731] I would have rather done Benny and the Jets, but that's fine.

[1732] Well, you know it, right?

[1733] Could you help him along?

[1734] No. I do know it, and no, I cannot help him along.

[1735] Because it's embarrassing to sing.

[1736] Yeah.

[1737] Yeah, I know it is.

[1738] It's too vulnerable.

[1739] I can't do it.

[1740] I did sing Happy Birthday for Rob's birthday.

[1741] With other people.

[1742] With him.

[1743] Yeah, you know the song, right?

[1744] Just feeling inside.

[1745] Yeah.

[1746] Yeah.

[1747] So this will be a duet.

[1748] Are we swapping off, or are we just sing at the same time?

[1749] I'll harmonize with you where I feel it, but I don't really remember what's happening.

[1750] So I got to...

[1751] You got to concentrate on the keys.

[1752] Okay.

[1753] It's a little bit funny.

[1754] Just feeling inside.

[1755] I'm not one of those who can easily...

[1756] Follow me, follow me. I don't...

[1757] I don't earn much money, but...

[1758] Boy, if I did, I'd buy a big house where we both could live.

[1759] We'll keep it going, though.

[1760] Oh, my God.

[1761] I wasn't at the bridge.

[1762] If I was a sculpture.

[1763] Put that again.

[1764] No. Or a man who makes potions.

[1765] No, I jumped ahead.

[1766] In a traveling show.

[1767] Oh, I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do.

[1768] My gift is my song, yeah.

[1769] I can't hear myself that well.

[1770] And this song's for you.

[1771] How's this go, Ricky?

[1772] Okay, here, here, I'll do the next one.

[1773] It might be quite simple, but...

[1774] I would have loved to practice.

[1775] Whatever, I hope you don't mind.

[1776] Oh, I hope you, I hope you don't mind.

[1777] Oh, there's my God.

[1778] I hope you don't mind.

[1779] This is my moment.

[1780] Okay, okay.

[1781] We both doing this for Downey Wood.

[1782] Okay, whatever.

[1783] How wonderful life.

[1784] Life is while you're in the world.

[1785] I sat on the roof, and I kicked off the mass. I'm just ending it.

[1786] So here's a perfect example of me wanting to go someplace and shining, but also knowing, you know what?

[1787] Fuck me, if we're just not enough.

[1788] You were enough.

[1789] That was its own experience.

[1790] Oh, I kind of want a second run in it.

[1791] I do.

[1792] I'd love to attract it.

[1793] And I think if I adopted a character voice in it, I could have particular.

[1794] Potentially, you know what I'm saying?

[1795] Let's try one more of a song.

[1796] My heart will go on.

[1797] That's what he's playing.

[1798] Wait, my heart will go on by Elton John?

[1799] Seleney.

[1800] Oh, my heart will go on by Celine.

[1801] Titanic song.

[1802] These are big swings.

[1803] They are.

[1804] I see you.

[1805] Oops, can't know.

[1806] Okay.

[1807] We'll do it again.

[1808] Whenever you're ready, Dex, you got it?

[1809] I don't know the song, but every night.

[1810] You don't know this song?

[1811] No. Monaco will sing it.

[1812] No, I won't.

[1813] Start from the top.

[1814] I can't be.

[1815] Here we go from the top.

[1816] I won't do it.

[1817] I'll follow you, Ricky.

[1818] And then once I get the pattern, I'll take over.

[1819] I see you.

[1820] I feel you that's how I know you go on.

[1821] From across the distance.

[1822] Nope.

[1823] Space is between us.

[1824] Tweed on.

[1825] Have the show you go on.

[1826] And spaces that are between.

[1827] that the heart does go on the door and you're here we're getting somewhere now i found the gear i don't know this part okay making it up okay love can touch us oh my god i've almost passed up there's got to be a better way of doing that no get it ever you are Where are we out?

[1828] Make sure this is how your podcast opens.

[1829] Okay.

[1830] Oh, my God.

[1831] It sounds like we're on the titan.

[1832] Oh, my God.

[1833] Wow, wow, wow.

[1834] Should we start booking theaters now to perform?

[1835] I think there's going to be a groundswell of demand.

[1836] You're very good on those ivory.

[1837] Yeah.

[1838] Thank you.

[1839] I would love to show off.

[1840] I want to practice for a month together.

[1841] Yeah, well, for a month.

[1842] And then you practice for months and then revisit.

[1843] Okay, so I think we'll get each other's way if we practice together.

[1844] Okay, so we'll go our own way, and then we'll hope that we were practicing the same thing, and then we'll just hit play.

[1845] Well, it will fire the pistol.

[1846] Yeah, I would like to, I could play something on the keys while you drum, but we don't treat it as a joke.

[1847] I would love to jam with you.

[1848] We figure something out, and then let me take it and then maybe produce something with it.

[1849] Put it through auto tune.

[1850] And then, Monica.

[1851] Oh, vocal track in the dark?

[1852] We could do some vocals.

[1853] Maybe if I do like, see a, no one can see me. That's why I say in the dark.

[1854] We'll get it pitch black in the studio.

[1855] I could do that.

[1856] Yeah, we could bring you over to the studio too and you could sit in there alone.

[1857] One candle.

[1858] Alone, it's nice.

[1859] With your lyrics.

[1860] That would be a great song to sing.

[1861] Alone.

[1862] That's a big swing.

[1863] I love ballads, Monaghan.

[1864] I can tell.

[1865] If I'm not going to cry, why am I playing it?

[1866] That's a good point.

[1867] Very little drumming and ballads.

[1868] You know what else I love is I love Disney.

[1869] But you're playing this from your head.

[1870] You have no music in front of you.

[1871] How are you doing this?

[1872] that's how I'm able to play by ear and figure stuff out but it takes a little bit and then also you get nervous when you're doing it around other people like sorry sorry do you know any Billy Joel songs because I think I can sing like Billy Joel I tell myself that in the car oh he's just how are you doing this yes that's it do do do do do do listen to this see this the crowd shovels in There's an old man sitting next to me making love to his tonic engine.

[1873] Son, can you play me a memory?

[1874] I'm not really sure how it goes.

[1875] But it's sad and it's sweet, and I knew it complete when I wore a younger man's clothes.

[1876] Could you drum to this?

[1877] I don't even know.

[1878] There's no drums in this song.

[1879] I want to sing.

[1880] I want to be able to sing.

[1881] I want to be able to sing.

[1882] When I say what my superpower would be to sing like Adele.

[1883] Assuming there are human superpowers and not being able to like make money.

[1884] Yeah.

[1885] Make your own money.

[1886] Yeah.

[1887] Singing would be mine.

[1888] Yes.

[1889] Make your own money would be a human one.

[1890] So you'd have to pit.

[1891] I don't even need to sing like Adele.

[1892] In fact, this is going to sound tacky.

[1893] But I don't like to compare myself to other people.

[1894] I would like to sing to like the best.

[1895] version of myself.

[1896] I would like to be able to sing the way I hear it in my head.

[1897] Yeah.

[1898] I'm there.

[1899] That's what stuff.

[1900] Is that like what am I doing?

[1901] I know what I want to do.

[1902] It's like going to play basketball when you're just older and you're not in shape and like I know what I'm supposed to be doing.

[1903] Yes.

[1904] But I'm tripping.

[1905] Yep.

[1906] And I'm hurting.

[1907] It's like we were born old when it comes to singing.

[1908] Ooh, deep.

[1909] Yeah.

[1910] I actually wrote a song.

[1911] Really?

[1912] I was 34 when I found my voice.

[1913] No, but I don't know, man. But when people could sing So that's what I love I mean Kristen did when she came over But I have people come over Especially in my old place When I was playing the piano more And I get to be part of it with them Megan Traynor came over And we literally wrote a pop song She was there for hours Oh my God And like the last half hour I just edited it down It's like this song And I feel like these famous musicians Come over and they all work For my rich dad And they have to be like All right Rick And they let me play I am being silly But genuinely saying Try it's not gonna sound good But go Yeah Not that way Like asking for the run directing them, yeah.

[1914] Yeah, well, I'm a producer, I guess.

[1915] Yeah.

[1916] But they're in my living room.

[1917] And like Josh Grobin came over, in a tuxedo.

[1918] Oh, my God.

[1919] On my balcony singing his heart out.

[1920] While I had, without anybody knowing, because I'm on the second floor, I had in full black tie attire, a cellist and a violinist.

[1921] Oh.

[1922] And we're playing, I'm playing all right.

[1923] You know, I practiced a little.

[1924] Sure, sure.

[1925] It's Josh Grobin.

[1926] Yes.

[1927] And there's a cellist and violins.

[1928] And I'm thinking these people who live in this complex.

[1929] How lucky for that.

[1930] They must be so excited.

[1931] I've since become friends with them, but I just moved in, and I knocked on everyone's door that we're going to be doing this.

[1932] Yes.

[1933] Some people said, okay.

[1934] Some people didn't answer.

[1935] Cut to a few hours later, after Josh and I do the podcast, now we're setting up.

[1936] While they're tuning, a neighbor came out.

[1937] And we didn't get into some of the things I've noticed facial extensions, but I've learned what certain things mean.

[1938] Like when people squint and they lean forward, they want to hear more.

[1939] But if they squint and they lean back, it's too much.

[1940] Oh, good cute.

[1941] I noticed the posture.

[1942] So I said, hey, I just want to let you know, we'll be doing this 20 minutes tops.

[1943] I apologize.

[1944] I was about to say.

[1945] I knocked on your door but missed you.

[1946] And he goes, well, you know, we could hear you right.

[1947] And he was a little protective, I'll say.

[1948] You know, listen, here's this guy that moved in who's being loud.

[1949] He doesn't know.

[1950] But also my defensive instincts were, enjoy the fucking concert guy.

[1951] Yes.

[1952] Free concert.

[1953] You know, it's Josh Grobin and an literal orchestra.

[1954] Yeah.

[1955] You don't have Metallic out there with fucking Marshall Stacks like blowing him off the.

[1956] Enjoy that.

[1957] Also a great show.

[1958] You should be so lucky.

[1959] But I understand and there was miscommunication.

[1960] He was lovely afterwards.

[1961] But like having these people come over and getting to be this part.

[1962] this thing because I can't sing it truly there is some voyeuristic thing in me listen I experienced it once in my life and it's one of the biggest natural highs I've ever had in my life is I got to do a song with Reggie Watts.

[1963] Oh sure I was singing and making noises I came on hinge I was like you know what I'm on TV this is for me I might look so stupid but I got in the drumming circle zone with him where we really were whether I sounded good or not we were on dead tempo together and it was full elation You know what us musicians call that?

[1964] A groove.

[1965] A groove.

[1966] I got in a real groove.

[1967] You too would know about that.

[1968] Yeah, Monica, it's a groove is basically like when you...

[1969] Teach me. Yeah, when there's like a certain riff or like a groove line where you just...

[1970] Oh, yeah.

[1971] I love grooves.

[1972] You can't look stupid if you accept who you are.

[1973] I'm Rick Glassman.

[1974] Let's go on that.

[1975] Great message to end on.

[1976] Wish you well.

[1977] Love you, Ricky.

[1978] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1979] Seems to be working better, right?

[1980] Yeah.

[1981] Yeah, you were just a big frozen blurb.

[1982] Oh, no. I don't like being a blurb.

[1983] You were a blurb.

[1984] I hate to tell you, but you are a blurb.

[1985] It's disgusting.

[1986] It does remind me when I was in New York, we had really bad service one day, and I'm not going to, I'm not going to throw the location under the bus, but we went to a hot restaurant.

[1987] Oh, not cellular service.

[1988] Restaurant.

[1989] And it was a hot new restaurant.

[1990] Hard to get in.

[1991] Okay.

[1992] Hot spot.

[1993] There was lots of like little courses and stuff.

[1994] And they didn't take the utensils.

[1995] And one of my spoon had this disgusting glob on it.

[1996] And Callie.

[1997] Oh.

[1998] Callie kept calling it a glob.

[1999] It came with a glob?

[2000] No, it was from my meal.

[2001] The glob was from my meal.

[2002] But we had more plates to come.

[2003] so they obviously should have replaced my glob.

[2004] Oh, so I would have loved to have kept my glob and finished it.

[2005] No, I didn't like my glob, obviously.

[2006] Oh, hence it being there, I guess.

[2007] What time is it there?

[2008] It's $2 .50.

[2009] In the PM.

[2010] Well, it's 1150 here.

[2011] I know.

[2012] It's late.

[2013] We'll make this quick.

[2014] Prego time.

[2015] Prego.

[2016] So how many times have you said that today?

[2017] Because you've already said it about $16.

[2018] times in the last one minute.

[2019] Yes, but you know what I haven't been saying to you, which I need to, is a Dukari.

[2020] You did say that once last time.

[2021] Oh, I did.

[2022] Okay.

[2023] Because now I'm arriving a Dukadi.

[2024] It's a red.

[2025] That's a very fast a Dukadi.

[2026] So just rode the Ducati to a town I can't pronounce.

[2027] Okay.

[2028] What an adventure.

[2029] You know, on the way there, the full tuscan, those fucking trees you have in your yard that I want you to cut down, but I love them here.

[2030] Uh, wineries, the smells are delish, and then on the way back, a big, big, big, orange moon.

[2031] Oh, beautiful.

[2032] On the Dukadi.

[2033] Wow.

[2034] It's a romantic guy.

[2035] Yes, it was so nice.

[2036] That's beautiful.

[2037] How fun.

[2038] Yeah.

[2039] I don't think there's a better way to experience an environment than on a Ducati, on a motorcycle.

[2040] Doesn't have to be a Dakotty, but a motorcycle.

[2041] Yeah, do you want to say hi?

[2042] Beautiful girl.

[2043] Sweetheart, oh my goodness, I miss you.

[2044] Are you just talking together or doing a real podcast?

[2045] We're doing a real podcast.

[2046] Hi, Linker.

[2047] Hi, Mom.

[2048] Hi, Moni.

[2049] We miss you.

[2050] Hi, Monica.

[2051] Hi, beautiful.

[2052] Hi.

[2053] I miss you guys.

[2054] Dax, do you want to take out, do you want to tell Daddy to take out the headphones?

[2055] so everyone can hear.

[2056] Take out the headphones.

[2057] Okay.

[2058] Try talking.

[2059] Hi, friends.

[2060] Yay.

[2061] Are you guys having the time of your life?

[2062] Yeah, it's pretty radical.

[2063] It's so fun.

[2064] Oh, I'm so glad.

[2065] In a Tuscan cooking class, we made pizza.

[2066] And we made shortbread cookies.

[2067] Oh.

[2068] Yeah.

[2069] Oh, my God.

[2070] You know, Monica is kind of in our group of friends, famous for her shortbread chocolate chip.

[2071] I know.

[2072] She loves some shortbread.

[2073] Okay, you guys have to make them for me so you can do some taste tass.

[2074] You're doing a good job at holding the mic into everyone's faith.

[2075] Thank you.

[2076] Delta has replaced, um, di -l -de -d -d -d -d -d -d -d with, what is that, money?

[2077] You know, I ain't got money.

[2078] I'm so in love when you're honey.

[2079] Everything.

[2080] That's beautiful.

[2081] Wait, wait, what's the other way?

[2082] I'm so...

[2083] Oh, in the morning and I rise.

[2084] Bring the tears joy to my eyes.

[2085] Tell me everything is going to be all right.

[2086] Oh, it is going to be all right, because you're singing.

[2087] Oh, I love that.

[2088] one more song you should know about.

[2089] It's a remix to the Jurassic Park song because when you open the gates to this place, it looks like Jurassic Park.

[2090] So it goes, do, do, do, do -de -de -de -de -de -d -de -d -d -d -d -d -d -a -d -d -d -t.

[2091] Okay.

[2092] Did -de -de -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[2093] It's a six -times tempo.

[2094] Yeah.

[2095] We're adding a lot of, yeah, little tiny eighth notes in there.

[2096] Didi, da -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de -de.

[2097] It's pretty fun.

[2098] What's everyone's favorite part of the trip?

[2099] Lincoln starts.

[2100] Definitely the cooking class so far.

[2101] Oh, I love that.

[2102] Tell them about our ill -fated motorcycle trip.

[2103] Oh, can I tell about our flight.

[2104] There's two ill -fated motorcycle trips.

[2105] So what Lincoln starts was first?

[2106] Wait, which one was it?

[2107] We attempted to ride together from Milano.

[2108] Oh, yeah.

[2109] So me and Daddy were going.

[2110] to drive from Milan to Tuscany.

[2111] Halfway through, well, the helmet was too small, so it was, like, hurting my jaw, so my jaw hurt, and my legs were getting burnt from the engine.

[2112] Oh, God.

[2113] What?

[2114] What is that burn?

[2115] Let's just be clear.

[2116] It was very, very hot.

[2117] Oh, my God.

[2118] And the butt heater was on, seat heater.

[2119] Oh, God.

[2120] Seat heater was on.

[2121] It was 95 degrees.

[2122] Yeah.

[2123] And you tend to overheat.

[2124] I do.

[2125] And then I was like, Daddy, I can't do it anymore.

[2126] So I finally told him.

[2127] But then we pulled over at this kind of supermarket, something like that.

[2128] And we got to eat pasta that tasted like SpaghettiOs.

[2129] Oh, yum.

[2130] And I got ice cream.

[2131] Ooh.

[2132] That tasted like Vienetta.

[2133] Oh!

[2134] Wow.

[2135] Wow.

[2136] Wow.

[2137] All right.

[2138] Now Delt is in.

[2139] So, we were going home from dinner, and we were going to go back to the house.

[2140] We didn't really fully know where it was from dinner.

[2141] Okay.

[2142] So we went...

[2143] It's dark.

[2144] Yeah.

[2145] So we went like over there, then we checked over here.

[2146] I told Dad, hey, no, you're going the wrong way.

[2147] Turn around.

[2148] So we went down here.

[2149] It wasn't down there.

[2150] We went back to where we started up...

[2151] All dirt roads.

[2152] Oh, jeez.

[2153] Dark.

[2154] Just forest.

[2155] Oh my God And then I keep telling him to go places I'm always wrong And we go wrong way Like five times all because of me Well you have my sense of direction And then you We met up in the car Yes I'm telling the story Not you Yeah you're not up yet So then And then we saw them They tried the road we went on It was a dead end And we figured out.

[2156] I told Daddy, don't go the full way.

[2157] We went back, realized there was a third road down there, and that was finally the home road.

[2158] Wow.

[2159] I'm impressed that everybody followed you.

[2160] When we saw the van, I got in the van.

[2161] I did not like being in the dark woods lost without a roof and doors right between me. Yeah, I would feel the same.

[2162] Yeah, I like doors What did we do in the van Because we were all nervous We couldn't find the house I was having a panic attack Lincoln was crying So Dahlia Lily Lily started Then Molly joined in Then Eric Then Dahlia Then me We were all singing This song Screaming at the top of our lungs The National Anthem Right?

[2163] The Ninja and found.

[2164] Lily to the rescue, I'm not surprised.

[2165] Yeah, you don't know.

[2166] Yeah, I was absolutely terrified.

[2167] I was crying and having a pan attack.

[2168] And you were in safely in the van with everybody.

[2169] Yes.

[2170] Your motorcycle lies behind us looks like a monster, so I was freaking out.

[2171] Okay, mom's turn.

[2172] Oh, wow.

[2173] I've had a couple really favorite points.

[2174] Visiting Hallstett, Hallstatt?

[2175] Wait, I didn't do my favorite point.

[2176] He told us to share them.

[2177] So my favorite part, there was a swimming pool at the restaurant.

[2178] Oh, that's cool.

[2179] That's very cool.

[2180] Was it a Burger King?

[2181] Arby's.

[2182] Oh, there we go.

[2183] That makes sense.

[2184] But it's called Arbys.

[2185] Uh -huh.

[2186] And my favorite part is the cooking class, and it's not here, but when we went through the castle.

[2187] We went through the castle.

[2188] Okay, Mama.

[2189] All right, I got a lot of favorite parts.

[2190] Wait, Mom, I'm not, not.

[2191] Oh, Jesus.

[2192] Okay, number one, we stopped in this really weird town called Hallstett, Halstett, which looked like the real -life Arundel, and...

[2193] Rumored to be...

[2194] Yeah, it's not, because it was based on a Norwegian town, but rumored to be...

[2195] Wait, wait, I need one question.

[2196] Are we on really?

[2197] TV show.

[2198] Yeah, we're on TV right now.

[2199] Are we on a real podcast?

[2200] Yeah.

[2201] Really?

[2202] It's not live.

[2203] But we could listen to it in your bedroom again when we get home.

[2204] Ooh, nice.

[2205] Yeah, that's really cool.

[2206] Can I exist?

[2207] Would that be all?

[2208] No, Bob needs to go.

[2209] Invisible Bob needs to go first.

[2210] Is there any space left for a month?

[2211] I know I'm not a citizen, but okay, so Hallstatt was amazing, and they had these things called.

[2212] Just to let you know, Mama's hair doesn't look as perfect as it does on the camera.

[2213] Oh.

[2214] It looks nice on the camera.

[2215] She wants you to know it doesn't look that nice from her point of view.

[2216] I'm going to spin it into something positive, which is it looks beautiful on camera.

[2217] Thank you for keeping me grounded.

[2218] So they had these things called cornhorns.

[2219] No. Horn calls.

[2220] No. Something like that, and it was a. They were just like homemade Twinkies.

[2221] It was a croissant, and in the middle was this marshmallow fluff.

[2222] We housed them.

[2223] It was some of the best thing I've ever tasted.

[2224] And then I also really liked this random thermal pool water park we found in Austria that had the longest water slide I was ever on, and I went down like six times.

[2225] And I'm not a water person, so you know.

[2226] I know.

[2227] I'm shocked.

[2228] Wow.

[2229] I went down quite a few times.

[2230] She doesn't went on a water slide in 13.

[2231] years.

[2232] That's correct.

[2233] That's correct.

[2234] Seeing a blood moon, Rye is over Tuscany.

[2235] Being on the motorcycle with dad tonight on the way to dinner, it was warm wind.

[2236] I'm in a tube top, so you can tell the temp is definitely, you know, early 90s.

[2237] And it was just all these winery fields and some beautiful rolling mountains and the air smelled so sweet.

[2238] And I was on the back of the motorcycle and it was just very romantic.

[2239] That's lovely.

[2240] That's so wonderful.

[2241] But we miss you a lot.

[2242] Stop this demon.

[2243] All right.

[2244] Sorry for taking over.

[2245] I loved it.

[2246] No, I'm so glad I got to see you guys.

[2247] Free content, right, Manny?

[2248] Oh, yeah.

[2249] Put these freeloaders to work.

[2250] All right.

[2251] I'll put this back on and re -plug in.

[2252] Okay.

[2253] Great.

[2254] Well, it's late there, so I won't keep you for too long.

[2255] But I have a little update, which is this crazy sim.

[2256] In New York, Callie and I went to this store, Cézahn.

[2257] We almost didn't go.

[2258] It was this whole thing, whatever.

[2259] We went and immediately I recognized that this person working there was like so helpful, so nice.

[2260] She was great.

[2261] And then like a few minutes in, She was like, I don't want to like be weird, but I love the show.

[2262] And it's like, oh, that's so sweet.

[2263] And she was like, yeah, actually, you know the guy who at the live show held up the sign.

[2264] Oh, my God, the guy from Texas that was in the military.

[2265] Yes, the guy was in the military.

[2266] Yeah, and he held up a sign.

[2267] She's his best friend.

[2268] And she told him to write that on the sign.

[2269] No way.

[2270] Yes.

[2271] Isn't that insane?

[2272] What are the odds?

[2273] That was in Dallas, right?

[2274] Yeah, I think so.

[2275] Yeah, our third live show.

[2276] And he was stationed somewhere by San Antonio.

[2277] Exactly.

[2278] And this random person in New York at this store is his best friend and told him to write the poster.

[2279] Her name is Molly.

[2280] I wanted to give her a shout out because you were so impressed by that poster.

[2281] I was because he called me out.

[2282] He took a run at the in -house mail.

[2283] I won't use that term that you don't like.

[2284] What is it?

[2285] I forget.

[2286] Alpha male.

[2287] Oh, got it.

[2288] Yeah, he's like, I'm going to dethrone this guy here, this old guy.

[2289] And she was responsible for that.

[2290] Isn't that crazy?

[2291] That's incredible.

[2292] Truly.

[2293] I can't believe that we met that person.

[2294] And are they still best friends?

[2295] Yeah.

[2296] She was like, I can't wait to tell him.

[2297] And is he still in love with you?

[2298] Still, I'm sure.

[2299] I didn't have.

[2300] Oh, okay.

[2301] Yeah, but I was excited to tell you about that.

[2302] Perfect.

[2303] Incalculable.

[2304] It really is.

[2305] I'm just going to tell you a funny thing I thought you might like, which was Molly ordered the fish last night, and it was fucking stinky as shit, like, real rough.

[2306] And so we've been describing it as the fish is unforgettable.

[2307] Is that a nice euphemism?

[2308] It is unforgettable.

[2309] It was so stinky.

[2310] Yeah, it's a nice way of spinning it.

[2311] Was it salmon?

[2312] What was it?

[2313] It was a very rich, stinky cod, and it was covered in onions.

[2314] And you couldn't even smell those onions because the fish was so potent.

[2315] The other thing we were saying, too, is because all the bread's been really dry.

[2316] We were saying they're known for their bread.

[2317] It's not good, but they're known for it.

[2318] Uh -huh, that's really lovely.

[2319] Yeah.

[2320] Unforgettable fish, and they're known for their bread.

[2321] Have you had any pasta dishes that have blown your mind?

[2322] I've had a ton of good ones.

[2323] I haven't had one that blew my mind, but good, but good.

[2324] I'm overeating every meal, that's for sure.

[2325] That's good.

[2326] You'll come back to a very big boy.

[2327] Well, I'll hit you with what I just ate for dinner at 11 o 'clock at night.

[2328] Enormous Greek salad, a big bowl of fresh -made pasta with bacon and cheese, and then a calzone the size of a soccer ball.

[2329] Wow.

[2330] Wow, wow, wow.

[2331] All in one setting.

[2332] Good, good job.

[2333] boy, good boy.

[2334] Good boy.

[2335] Good big boy.

[2336] Okay, well, this is Ricky and it was lovely.

[2337] I think it's really awesome to hear that perspective and so openly.

[2338] We have not had anyone talk about that on our show before.

[2339] Yeah, which is not to say that we know if we've had an autistic guest or not, because maybe we have, but this is the first time we knew about it.

[2340] On my trip, I kept wondering if everyone had it.

[2341] Okay.

[2342] You were bumping into a lot of folks that felt maybe.

[2343] Well, no, like if Callie was getting a little frustrated, I'd be like, well, you know, we don't know.

[2344] We don't know what's going on.

[2345] I got you.

[2346] You were really giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.

[2347] Yeah.

[2348] Yeah.

[2349] Yeah, that's, I don't know if that's good or not, is it?

[2350] I don't know.

[2351] Probably not.

[2352] We don't know yet.

[2353] We're all new.

[2354] But I do think it's nice to, and it was, because I edited this on my way.

[2355] So I think it was just like in my head that, you know, everyone, like, has a thing.

[2356] Everyone's dealing with something.

[2357] And I don't know.

[2358] I just, it made me think, like, maybe we should go a little easier on each other.

[2359] Yeah.

[2360] That's a good rule of thumb.

[2361] I guess you're always afraid of the free rider, like the person who's just an impatient asshole or something, who's really just making no effort to not be an asshole.

[2362] But I guess, how many people could that be?

[2363] Yeah, I don't know.

[2364] I don't know either.

[2365] I'll look it up.

[2366] Okay.

[2367] Do you think one day we'll all know our DNA with such detail that you have a little card on your chest?

[2368] It's like, this is what I am.

[2369] Buckle up.

[2370] Probably a name tag.

[2371] Are you doing a tied stain stick?

[2372] Oh, my God.

[2373] You can see that.

[2374] You're not even on for me. I've got that exclamation point inside of a triangle.

[2375] Oh, no. I know.

[2376] I know.

[2377] Oh, that's a bummer.

[2378] You didn't turn your camera off on accident, did you?

[2379] No, I'm on.

[2380] Oh.

[2381] Okay, you said something like the one -armed man at a wallpaper contest, and I thought you were just making that up, but that is kind of a thing.

[2382] Yeah, busier than a one -arm man at a wallpaper hanging contest.

[2383] It's busy as a one -arm paper hanger.

[2384] Yep.

[2385] And, yeah, I guess it means...

[2386] Well, have you ever put up wallpaper, you definitely need two hands.

[2387] It's really hard.

[2388] Yeah.

[2389] It's really hard to do with one hand.

[2390] I mean, there's probably a one -arm paper hanger right now listening that's like, fuck you, I do it.

[2391] In general, it's almost impossible.

[2392] Well, I mean, I hope they take it as a compliment.

[2393] It's like, it's really hard to do and they're doing it.

[2394] Yeah.

[2395] And they must be busy.

[2396] As busy as a one -arm paper hanger.

[2397] Yes.

[2398] Okay.

[2399] Now, you said that there was a poor soldier on an island in the South Pacific who didn't know the war had ended.

[2400] You were like, that's like a parable or something.

[2401] Yeah.

[2402] There's like stories of Japanese soldiers.

[2403] soldiers that didn't know the war ended that were like in the tunnels and Iwo Jima and stuff?

[2404] Yeah.

[2405] The main guy is Hiru Onada and he spent 29 years in hiding after the war ended.

[2406] I know.

[2407] I know.

[2408] It's awful.

[2409] That's so sad.

[2410] It really is.

[2411] Think about what he's going through.

[2412] If he was your server.

[2413] Oh, my God.

[2414] You know?

[2415] Exactly.

[2416] You don't know if the guy you're dealing with has been hiding for 29 years.

[2417] It's always possible Apparently anything's possible Mm -hmm Okay What percentage of people Want you to take your shoes off When they come in the house?

[2418] Mm -hmm Okay Most Americans take their shoes off at home But don't expect their guests to The latest results Latest generic results Show that nearly a third of the country 31 % will always take their shoes off 26 will most of the time, 18 will sometimes 12 % rarely.

[2419] I must have really low rent friends because I don't know anyone who is a no -shoo's house other than Ricky.

[2420] Well, this is fascinating because it says geographically 92 % of people living in the Midwest say they take off their shoes.

[2421] I don't know about that.

[2422] I didn't know one.

[2423] Like you knew the people in my name, not even in my neighborhood in my town that were shoes off families.

[2424] And they were real hoity -toity.

[2425] They had that living room with white carpet that no one's allowed to go in when you first walked in.

[2426] It was not common for me. I mean, granted, in the winter, sure, you got to take them off.

[2427] It's filled with slush and mud and gunk.

[2428] Of course.

[2429] But summertime, let it rip.

[2430] Carpet is trickier than hardwood.

[2431] So I kind of get it.

[2432] Because, like, what if you step in?

[2433] If you step in poop like I did in my dock, Martin, and then you walk on carpet, that's a bad day.

[2434] Yeah, you're right.

[2435] And it was already a bad day for me to step in poop in my Doc Martin with wood floor.

[2436] I feel like this is kind of related.

[2437] I think this is not a duck, dog, so I want to read you something.

[2438] I got a great, great comment.

[2439] Okay.

[2440] It was on our WASP expert.

[2441] P -A -O -L -A, Paola.

[2442] Paola loves pearls, said, this was fascinating.

[2443] I am registering a request for a grumblies expert, please.

[2444] And not only I think that was hilarious, I do think we should have a grumblies expert on.

[2445] Okay.

[2446] I mean, think if Wasp were that interesting, just think about grumblies.

[2447] Ew.

[2448] I don't want to think about them.

[2449] They're so gross.

[2450] They're so grumbly.

[2451] They're very grumbly.

[2452] I sent that to Brie and said, I want you to know that you've invented.

[2453] in a word that's in the zeitgeist.

[2454] I know.

[2455] I love that.

[2456] Okay, just back real quick.

[2457] One in 10 % will always request their guests, remove their shoes, though slightly more say they'll ask less frequently.

[2458] Either most of the time, 11%, sometimes 13%, or rarely 13%.

[2459] What's the source of this data?

[2460] Dr. Sholes or something?

[2461] It's called U .Gov. Oh, worth of you?

[2462] No, with a Y of you.

[2463] It's probably not.

[2464] But, okay, a lot of the websites have this same data.

[2465] But look, all the websites are like, well, one of them's southernliving .com.

[2466] Well, okay.

[2467] One of them is real estate.

[2468] Oh, okay.

[2469] Listen, there's just not much data on this, okay?

[2470] Right.

[2471] No, I haven't heard the Pew Research Center conduct.

[2472] this or Gallop.

[2473] Not yet.

[2474] One thing I did want to bring up, so Ricky posted something recently that I really, really liked.

[2475] And it was after we recorded.

[2476] So I wanted to share it.

[2477] So someone else, like had posted a kind of, not a meme, but you know, like when people post inspirational quotes and stuff.

[2478] Yeah.

[2479] It says, I used to think being called quote too much was something to be embarrassed about oh oh wow Ricky Ricky puts music on his of course he's so creative okay I used to think being called too much was something to be embarrassed about now I realize it's what small people say to make themselves feel bigger and then Ricky posted on top of that a banner and it says this is so wrong some people are too much I am sometimes too much people can be too much self acceptance is the but first must come self -awareness.

[2480] And that song.

[2481] Yeah, and then that song.

[2482] Oh, my God.

[2483] So many sounds on his Instagram.

[2484] I'm sorry.

[2485] But yeah, and then his caption was, Jesus.

[2486] Oh, my God.

[2487] Oh, my God.

[2488] It's, it's a malware.

[2489] And then his caption is sometimes it is you.

[2490] Loving yourself and taking accountability aren't mutually.

[2491] exclusive.

[2492] In fact, they come together as a pair.

[2493] Hashtag Glassman Bob.

[2494] Oh, yes.

[2495] Textbook Glassman Bob.

[2496] I loved that.

[2497] That is great.

[2498] It's so true.

[2499] It's like we are living in an age where it's like all about like accept yourself, which of course I want and that's a lot of our show too.

[2500] But to know that you're playing a part in all of this.

[2501] So if something's going wrong, it might be you.

[2502] That's a good glassman, Bob.

[2503] And I guess it's kind of the opposite of what I was saying about everyone dealing with something and everyone should just be tolerant.

[2504] Yeah.

[2505] This throws a wrench in that, but I like both.

[2506] Yeah, I like both.

[2507] I think there's a line.

[2508] Yes, I think some people are just jealous of other people who are outgoing and they hate that those people get attention.

[2509] But also, if you're like, if you get told you're too much so often, you got to write a meme about it, my hunch is you might be too much.

[2510] Yeah, and I mean.

[2511] Yeah, I don't know.

[2512] I mean, this person, like, they got it told to them so much that they had to write a meme about it.

[2513] Yeah, I don't know if they wrote a meme or they just took somebody else.

[2514] I don't even know what a meme totally memes.

[2515] But I did find that what I think is a meme and I reposted it, it was so funny.

[2516] It was an old -timey picture based on the motorcycle 70s with an older man. He's riding that shit out of a dirt bike.

[2517] and he's got a little baby on the front of the gas tank.

[2518] And it says, I don't know anything about this man, but I know his wife was out of town this weekend.

[2519] That is funny.

[2520] Oh, my God.

[2521] What if you become a meamer?

[2522] Well, I didn't create it.

[2523] I was mad I hadn't created it.

[2524] And then I actually did think.

[2525] I wish I knew how to create a meme.

[2526] It's funny you'd say that.

[2527] Oh, my God.

[2528] But then I would probably got glassman bopped.

[2529] Yeah.

[2530] You can't risk it.

[2531] You know, it's got to be careful.

[2532] that you sure do um that's all that's everything for glassy oh just one last ding ding ding did you see molly's post with eric and i staring at the the workout machine i saw her post something of you guys holding little cups okay well this has to do with you so there was a workout machine that clearly a german invented.

[2533] You could do every single body part in this one seated position.

[2534] There were way too many levers and contraptions.

[2535] And of course, I was saying, it's perfect.

[2536] You can do your glute sweat.

[2537] And I was going on and on and on.

[2538] And then I stopped and I said, this is what Monica deals with.

[2539] If a German made it, was there like a little bucket for pooping while you work out?

[2540] Certainly.

[2541] There were so many bars, Monica.

[2542] Like, you couldn't move one direction without hitting a bunch of the other accoutrement.

[2543] It was absurd.

[2544] But we made it work.

[2545] Fucking that German glassman bopped us at the gym.

[2546] A glassman bop.

[2547] You bopped us so good.

[2548] Are you doing your glutes at the same time as your lats and your hamstrings?

[2549] Because you can do it all.

[2550] It's all right here.

[2551] don't even move.

[2552] Goodness gracious.

[2553] Do your entire body at one time.

[2554] Oh, my God.

[2555] All the time.

[2556] Oh, wowy.

[2557] Well, I miss you.

[2558] I can't wait to be doing this in person next week.

[2559] Oh, my God.

[2560] Same, same.

[2561] Same, same, same.

[2562] Oh, my body.

[2563] Oh, hold on.

[2564] Oh, am I still an exclamation point?

[2565] You are.

[2566] You have been forever.

[2567] Do you want me to, how about I end it and call you back?

[2568] See if that works.

[2569] Want to do that?

[2570] Do you see me?

[2571] Yes, I can.

[2572] Yay, it works.

[2573] Are you going to show me my shorts?

[2574] Yeah, I am.

[2575] Oh, my gosh.

[2576] Oh, my gosh.

[2577] I hear a fancy paper.

[2578] Todd Schneider paper.

[2579] I don't want to rip the paper.

[2580] Oh, my lord.

[2581] Purple?

[2582] They're a pink bordering on purple.

[2583] And then.

[2584] Oh, my.

[2585] my gosh.

[2586] Oh, Bob.

[2587] Oh, wow.

[2588] Those are gorgeous.

[2589] So really good, Bob.

[2590] They're really gorgeous.

[2591] Thank you.

[2592] They're a corduroy.

[2593] It's a new fabric for you.

[2594] Oh, my God.

[2595] Are you going to hold them to January 2nd?

[2596] No. Oh, okay.

[2597] They're not a birthday present.

[2598] They're just a, I can't not get them for you present.

[2599] Oh, okay.

[2600] Well, as you know, I wore my first pair of white pants on the strip, and I really like them.

[2601] I think I'm going to start wearing white.

[2602] pants more.

[2603] I love a white pant.

[2604] I didn't.

[2605] I didn't know what I was missing.

[2606] It's exciting because it's dangerous, because spillage, see -through, so many things to be scared of.

[2607] Oh, high wire act.

[2608] Very.

[2609] And then factor in Labor Day.

[2610] Oh, I'm done with that.

[2611] Yeah.

[2612] I'm going to say it here, Glassmanbop.

[2613] I am done with that rule.

[2614] You can wear it year round.

[2615] Hashtag Jewish Hartthrop.

[2616] I did write that down.

[2617] to maybe talk about, but I don't think we have time.

[2618] But I just like, why can't he just be a heartthrob?

[2619] He's proud of being.

[2620] Why does he have to be a Jewish heartthrob?

[2621] I'll tell you why.

[2622] Because when you look at Tiger Beat all growing up, it was not chocked full of Jewish people.

[2623] So he's excited to be a Jewish heartthrob.

[2624] No, I mean, I guess, I don't mean for him.

[2625] I mean more like when the articles say it and stuff.

[2626] Like, I think if somebody said, Indian heartthrob.

[2627] Yeah, if someone was like, she's beautiful for an Indian heartthrob.

[2628] person i'd be like ew well but you could interpret that way but i don't think that's what he's doing okay i just think he's saying like this is a unique thing i'm a jewish heartthrob i know but it's like i think like all jewish men are heartthrobs i know they just weren't in tiger beat or whatever one you didn't have any jewish people like i'm sorry but ben and matt are not jewish yet and they were your pin -ups except david borealis was my first and he he's probably not jewish but he might Oh, God, now we're, this is not getting really dangerous.

[2629] You're just guessing that who's Jewish.

[2630] All right.

[2631] Well, I love you.

[2632] Love you.

[2633] Ciao, bellow.

[2634] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2635] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2636] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a podcast.

[2637] a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.