152 - Live at the O2 Academy in Glasgow

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] What's up, Lasca?

[17] Holy shit.

[18] Hell yes.

[19] You guys have been waiting long?

[20] Sorry.

[21] This is bananas.

[22] This is the last show of our European tour, and we're really happy it's here.

[23] Exactly for that reason, exactly.

[24] Yeah, we left Los Angeles 17 years ago.

[25] We were very young and naive.

[26] We smelled good.

[27] These dresses.

[28] I think I've figured out what.

[29] this dress smells like now.

[30] Because I tried to wash it halfway through and it actually brought up more smells that I didn't smell before.

[31] Panicked raccoon is actually what I think.

[32] If I came out with my own line of fragrance, Panicked raccoon is what I would sell to all of you.

[33] If you wanted to say thank you to keep others away, it's like a reverse perfume.

[34] Yeah.

[35] Let them know that what's going on on the outside is not what's going on in your nose.

[36] I don't know.

[37] No, that was a good riff.

[38] No, that was.

[39] Don't doubt yourself.

[40] We are going to have a bonfire after this and burn these fucking dresses.

[41] A wick and ceremony if anyone wants to join us.

[42] That's right.

[43] A dress burning, tights burning ceremony.

[44] Yeah.

[45] It's a really nice sound system in here that.

[46] We just did a show in Manchester.

[47] realize it was still light outside, which is terrible.

[48] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[49] And there were windows all around, so you could see it was like fucking daytime.

[50] It's like when people who are sober go to daytime raves, and you're like, that's not fun, though, probably.

[51] Sorry, one second.

[52] I need to have a private conversation with George.

[53] A daytime life?

[54] Yeah, it's totally a thing.

[55] What are you fucking talking about?

[56] I swear to to fucking God, they're called like daybreakers, and they're like fucking people who, I mean, they must be insane because they're like, before work, I just want to go dance it out at a rave.

[57] I swear.

[58] I know.

[59] Not for me. that's unsafe that's a lot of energy a rave before work during the day but it turns out it's only for people whose job is being a drug dealer so it's actually perfect oh we were going to write out our top memories our top beautiful memories from this tour yeah I kept mine in my head where memories belong mine doesn't work that way did you want it listed listed out no but i just can't imagine remembering anything at this point in my life it has been a bit of a blur backstage vin said something about like he remember that first dressing room we were in i was like are you fucking kidding me i don't i can't remember the room i'm in right now that's true and my family keeps texting me and they're just like oh my god did you like did you go to the hague where i'm like what are you talking about we see we see hotel rooms we fucking see this rug in all different kinds of cities that's pretty much it's rough on the road you guys oh my god it's so hard okay what's your first beautiful memory you've written down um let's see it just says Elvis barfed oh what a gorgeous time that was I think yesterday our fucking pets started revolting against us being away which is really sweet or they're just assholes because Elvis I got a text from Stephen like before we went on show but she didn't cheer for Elvis so it's too late that was basically a cheer that was also saying no at this same day well good because Elvis barfed on Stephen's laptop and it's not fucking working anymore and guess who has to buy Stephen a new fucking laptop.

[60] Beautiful memories from the tour.

[61] What's yours?

[62] That's literally your first beautiful memory.

[63] You said what you write down first.

[64] And that's what I wrote down first.

[65] Maybe I should have committed this to memory.

[66] My first beautiful memory from the tour was Dublin was the first city we were in.

[67] And yeah, it's pretty good.

[68] And of course, I think we both had jet lag really bad.

[69] I was like wide awake at, you know, four in the morning.

[70] And then I looked, and the room service menu said it was 24 hours.

[71] So I was like, well, let's fucking see if you mean it.

[72] And I think I got some weird, like, cobbler, I don't know what it was, blood sausage, something weird, but the guy brings it in.

[73] And he kind of looks like Simon Pig, a little bit.

[74] It was fun, experienced, to have someone in your room late at night.

[75] And he puts the thing down.

[76] He puts the like tray down, and then I'm standing there ready to sign a thing, and he just goes to walk away.

[77] And I was like, oh, don't I have to sign something?

[78] And he goes, that's okay.

[79] And walks out.

[80] I was just like, I actually kind of feel famous right now, because when at a fucking hotel, do they ever let you have one thing for, like, even a normal price, much less for free?

[81] Oh, the generosity of strangers.

[82] Of Simon Peg.

[83] Okay, well, for real, though, I met so many fucking incredible cats in Amsterdam.

[84] Sorry, are we only doing cat -based memories?

[85] Oh, I thought that you knew that that's all I...

[86] Oh, that's implied, I see.

[87] That's all I remember is shit that is involved with cats.

[88] Right.

[89] We, yeah, we, they just kept coming to me. Like, we rock the streets and they'd be like, let's go in this, pot shop and I'd be like, there's a kitten here.

[90] It was the best.

[91] That's it.

[92] You can't judge mine.

[93] I thought there'd be crying during this segment.

[94] Oh.

[95] But apparently, don't judge my memories.

[96] No, no, I'm not.

[97] I'm trying to access the files.

[98] Well, we did have...

[99] I just realized as we started talking about this, it's super rude.

[100] We just got to Glasgow and we're like, guess what about all the other cities we've been in?

[101] No, listen.

[102] Listen.

[103] I had a hotel where we both did.

[104] I never saw yours, but I'm sure they were matchy -machy.

[105] Our hotel rooms, my hotel room in Stockholm, was something.

[106] It was like I was a Disney princess.

[107] It was fucking nutso bananas.

[108] And the windows opened out onto the water where like boats, like fairies were coming in.

[109] And people were like under umbrellas having cobbler, whatever, I don't know.

[110] cobbler features heavily in your stories yeah it's just that's the one food I can now think of I'm sobering I'm sure I should have said lingonberries that would have been way better everything in Stockholm was lingon berries and fish which was a living nightmare for me where I was just like could I get no herring in that please and hold those lingonberries for the rest of your life so you're so hotel memories and cat memories is what we're a theme here And we got Swedish massages in Sweden, which was pretty cool.

[111] Yeah.

[112] This isn't.

[113] No, this is bad.

[114] I've never...

[115] Let's start over.

[116] We meant to do a slideshow to bore the fuck out of you, but we just thought we'd do it verbally instead.

[117] Well, there is one really exciting memory that just happened this morning.

[118] Oh, you guys.

[119] You tell it.

[120] Well.

[121] International incident is what almost happened this morning.

[122] We, I never want to say it out loud because we're always pretty L -U -C -K -Y when it comes to traveling.

[123] But this morning, when we went through security in Amsterdam, Vince turned to both of us.

[124] Right?

[125] Vince.

[126] That's Vince's one fan.

[127] He's been following us all around Europe.

[128] Should maybe we get Vince in to tell the story?

[129] Yes.

[130] I just remember, he might just be hanging out in the dressing room right now.

[131] Oh yeah, come here.

[132] He's just laying on the floor.

[133] There he is.

[134] Our tour manager and George's husband, Vince Averill, everybody.

[135] Yeah.

[136] Yeah.

[137] Could you just recount for the good people what happened to us at the airport this morning?

[138] I'm happy to do that.

[139] But I can't always come out and save you guys from tank.

[140] when the front of the show is it can't always be me that has to I was mulling the drugs for the crew that we had smoked very efficiently in Amsterdam and I had said to my wife I had thought to myself many times get this shit out of your pocket before you get to customs but there I was loading the tray I go into my pocket and I was like fuck So I'm looking around and I'm going, the only trash can is like four feet behind me on the other side of the entry.

[141] And I go to the guy behind it.

[142] Is there a trash can?

[143] He's like, yeah, just give it to me, whatever.

[144] And at that point, it was either, I didn't know what to do.

[145] So I just handed it to him.

[146] And it was...

[147] I thought interest of full disclosure, right?

[148] It can't be, you know...

[149] It's Amsterdam.

[150] This has to happen every 10 minutes.

[151] people forget that they smoked weed in Amsterdam probably occasionally it was a pipe a lighter and about that much weed and a made ball of coke okay that was in my ass they'll never find it he he opened his hand and they dropped a net over the top of me it was everybody a siren went off they fucking no I almost had a fucking panic.

[152] It got serious.

[153] And then I just, essentially what you had to do was sweat for about 20 minutes while they acted like you had done something that might land you in a prison colony.

[154] But instead, after the very military -looking guy came down and took out his scale and looked at me and did some paperwork, just turned and goes, be more careful next time.

[155] then they chased me because they wanted to give me back the fucking pipe and the goddamn they gave him the pipe and pot or just the pipe or the pipe and the pot.

[156] The pipe and the lighter, sir, sir, don't forget your paraphernalia.

[157] That's very polite of them.

[158] That's how it went down.

[159] It was bad.

[160] We'll see you later.

[161] It's April.

[162] Did you see how he subtly blamed me just a little bit?

[163] Yeah, I heard that loud and clear.

[164] Oh, that's Doug.

[165] Our therapist is going to fucking.

[166] hear about that next week.

[167] You know what?

[168] Put it on the list.

[169] I'm going to put it on the list.

[170] A beautiful memories.

[171] I knew it was bad because Georgia just purse got like randomly pulled also.

[172] So Vince was standing over here and he did the thing where he was talking to me without looking at me or moving his mouth and he goes, I'll meet you guys, the gator'll be fine.

[173] And immediately I was just like, this is not fine at all.

[174] And then you and I were not looking at each other because I think we were afraid.

[175] We were like, we're going to, if we need to pretend we're not with him, we need to be able to break free and get to Scotland.

[176] I went over to like to talk to him and put my arm around and he goes pretend you're not with me. He's like, oh my God, you're right.

[177] So then we just when Georgia gets her stuff from the security guy, we just like kind of walk like this is how people walk at the airport.

[178] And it's the thing too where it's like I don't want to ask Karen about it because I need Karen to be strong for me right now so if I turn to her and go, is it going to be okay?

[179] She goes, I don't know.

[180] I'll fucking lose my shit.

[181] So just don't say anything at all?

[182] So what she said was we got like, I'd say 80 steps away from that area.

[183] And then this is when I got really scared, because Georgia, who is fully free and welcome, but also doesn't really give a shit and will tell me any time she's any kind of nervousness or anxiety or passing thought at all, she goes, you are, it's true.

[184] Not a bad way.

[185] She just goes like this, I'm kind of nervous.

[186] And then I was like, oh, my God.

[187] Like, literally I was like, I'm going to shit.

[188] It was so, it was so clear how much you were trying to, like, keep the lid on where I was like, oh, we're at a place where we're trying to keep the lid on.

[189] That's the worst place.

[190] And then, like, five minutes later, get a text from Vince being like, I'll meet you at the gate.

[191] It's like, oh, my God, we made it.

[192] So that was amazing.

[193] Guys, that goes to the top of the memory list for sure.

[194] But now that you know that you guys know that we smoke drugs in Amsterdam, I can tell you the best memory I have from that thing.

[195] Don't do drugs, et cetera.

[196] Stay in school.

[197] So we just smoked this pot that we got at a store and it's, you know, we don't know what's going on and it's scary.

[198] And I think we're both getting like a little panicky when we smoke pot sometimes.

[199] We're like waiting for it to kick in and then we're walking down the street and then this guy on a bike.

[200] like, fucking, this totally Dutch dude is like this Nordic -looking guy with his shirt off and tiny shorts writes his bike by, and he just, as he's writing by, he's listening to his headphones and he starts to sing along to what he's listening to.

[201] And so he rides by and you hear this, poke, poke, poke her face, my poker face.

[202] And in his like accent and I just fucking was like, this is going to be a good day.

[203] I lost my face.

[204] shit.

[205] Now, I don't know if I was like downwind of you or like I was in a different like the sound wave hit me different but it just, to me it sounded like a guy rode by it on his bike going bach, bach, bach, bach, bach.

[206] It was like, I don't know if this is going to be a very good day.

[207] I might have some weird chicken attack where I fucking freak the fuck out and everyone turns into a chicken.

[208] The thing of everyone knows I'm high and they're fucking with me?

[209] Yeah.

[210] Yeah, I get that.

[211] But then George, I go, that guy's making an noise.

[212] George goes, it was poker face.

[213] And I was like, all right, it's on.

[214] We're doing this.

[215] It's all good.

[216] I was singing Lady Gaga.

[217] That's amazing.

[218] That's got to be a good sign.

[219] It's so funny, too, because it's like, we all know that, especially in California, the pot is so fucking strong because everything's hyperponically grown.

[220] So it's like, I mean, you cheer.

[221] Yeah, but, but dude.

[222] Sometimes you just want to get a little high.

[223] You don't want to be out of your fucking mind, like yelling at the TV.

[224] like I do.

[225] Like, we, I think we were all smoking.

[226] We were sitting at these little tables at the, like, cafes, whatever.

[227] And we would just take a hit and kind of be, like, making small talk.

[228] But you could tell that we were all just waiting to, like, step off the ledge and be like, now I'm crying in public.

[229] Now I'm clawing at my own face.

[230] What's happening?

[231] Didn't happen.

[232] Never happened.

[233] No. We had a great day.

[234] It was super fun.

[235] And it was our first day off in, like, eight days or ten days or something.

[236] We just lived it up.

[237] We had meatball sandwiches.

[238] No lincoln berries.

[239] No lincoln berries.

[240] We, yeah.

[241] You start reading off the page.

[242] When did I buy?

[243] I bought a vase.

[244] You know why I bought a fucking vase?

[245] Here's why I bought a fucking vase.

[246] So I text my mom, because it was Mother's Day, and I was like, what can I get you from here thinking, like a thing, a perfume or an oil?

[247] And she said, just a little vase.

[248] A fucking vase that I'm going to have to pack in my suitcase.

[249] It's going to smash the fucking bits and I have to be careful with.

[250] Of course, my high -maintenance mom wants me to bring her a fucking vase.

[251] It's almost like that thing we used to have in high school where when you're a senior in one of those classes, they make you carry a bag of beans around for a week and pretend it's your baby.

[252] And it's like, this is what it's going to be like if you have a baby, so you better carry this bag of beans around.

[253] It's like, that's what she made you do around.

[254] Just give me a little highly delicate and incredibly expensive vase to carry around by hand.

[255] This was what it was like.

[256] fucking raise you.

[257] But you were louder than a vase.

[258] And you did more drugs than vases, too.

[259] You took a Tylenol with Cody every night when you were pregnant with me. No, she didn't.

[260] But I did buy one at, like, the Manchester train station.

[261] I was just like, here's a vase.

[262] And I'm going to tell her I bought it at, like, a flea market in Amsterdam.

[263] You should tell her the best vases in Europe are actually at this Manchester's train station.

[264] Everyone knows.

[265] It's the best.

[266] Everyone knows over there.

[267] Good.

[268] Great.

[269] I had an experience today.

[270] We went and got some lunch when we got to the hotel.

[271] So, you know, yesterday you were talking about how in Amsterdam you had to use the McDonald's order screen, and you used it in Dutch, so you didn't understand any of it.

[272] I had the same exchange today in a pub, but it was with the waiter.

[273] Oh, my God.

[274] I just was nodding.

[275] I think we were talking about beer and he was lovely and wonderful, but I could not understand a fucking word he was saying.

[276] And I loved it.

[277] I was like, keep talking to me, but I don't know what you're saying.

[278] It's fun.

[279] It's like you understand every ninth word, and it's like they're singing you a little song.

[280] Yes.

[281] It's the best accent.

[282] Every time we'd meet someone, and I would love their accent, you'd be like, that's the accent that we're going to be here for.

[283] So we just want you guys to talk to us.

[284] tonight.

[285] Not really, not really, not really.

[286] No. Don't do it.

[287] Goodbye.

[288] Oh, this is my favorite murder, by the way.

[289] This is Georgia Hard Star.

[290] Couldn't be happier to be here.

[291] God damn it.

[292] It's very exciting.

[293] Stephen's not here.

[294] We apologize.

[295] But listen, my cats aren't going to barf on their own laptops.

[296] They can still cost like $1 ,500.

[297] sure they work they're for cats there's just like four keys it's just a fish a string fucking laser light and then you pick the fourth one i won't do every single key you can have your say in the cat laptop thank you you're welcome finally it's up to me what cats said oh i just want to say uh for those of you who thought you knew me until i walked out on the stage and saw so much cleavage coming from me. And you're like, that's not Karen style at all.

[298] Thank you so much.

[299] Thank you for supporting us.

[300] And your bra on.

[301] This is the dress I wore at our L .A. show.

[302] But at the L .A. show, I wore a slip.

[303] I got here and then realized I didn't bring my slip.

[304] And then on that first night, I was just like, ah, fuck it.

[305] I mean, like, who gives a shit?

[306] That's right.

[307] Who gives a shit anymore?

[308] And that was your birthday?

[309] I remember it was your birthday?

[310] That feels like, A year ago.

[311] I know, it really does.

[312] And, like, traveling, I could just every picture.

[313] God bless everyone who comes and sees us afterwards, pays for a meet -and -grit, and then they post those fucking pictures like, I want to see that shit.

[314] No. It was so great to meet you.

[315] It was great to meet you until you posted that fucking picture of me looking like a carved potato.

[316] Let me just say it.

[317] Let me get it off my chest.

[318] This chest.

[319] Let me get it off.

[320] so the girls can be free to breathe.

[321] Well, my dress, I'm pretty excited.

[322] I'm pretty sure that it's going to be really easy to rip.

[323] Do it.

[324] I'm going to burn it.

[325] I'm going to burn it when the minute we walk off stage.

[326] It's one of those things where I've been wearing it and being like, blah, blah, and then I see a photo, and I'm like, what?

[327] That's not what it looked like in the mirror.

[328] And it smells, and it was cheap.

[329] Just let us hold our space in our outfits because it started strong.

[330] When I washed this dress halfway through, I was like, yeah, that's getting a little.

[331] I think I forgot to wear a deodorant last night.

[332] When I washed it, not only did other smells come out, but then there was like a kind of a ring.

[333] Like I was turning into a fucking tree.

[334] I was just like, I don't need any of this.

[335] Hey, should we sit down?

[336] Yeah.

[337] Look at this.

[338] This is all matchy, matchy.

[339] It's very mid -century, mom.

[340] Thank you.

[341] You know that's what we're all about.

[342] Oh.

[343] This is our square table tour.

[344] That's what we're calling it.

[345] It's our sticky table tour.

[346] Great.

[347] Tonight show is sponsored by Lifewater, Life.

[348] It's no Evian.

[349] Drink it up.

[350] Drink it the fuck up.

[351] Life.

[352] Drink it up.

[353] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[354] Absolutely.

[355] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[356] Exactly.

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[369] important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

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[371] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[372] Goodbye.

[373] Hey, this is exciting.

[374] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[375] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.

[376] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[377] Who killed Saz?

[378] And were they really after Charles?

[379] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[380] This season, murder hits close to home.

[381] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[382] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[383] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[384] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[385] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[386] Only Murders in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on, Hulu.

[387] Goodbye.

[388] Do you go first or do I go first?

[389] Me?

[390] Okay.

[391] Let's do it.

[392] Don't you remember last night?

[393] Oh, yeah.

[394] Last night.

[395] It was only last night.

[396] Oe, hey.

[397] All right.

[398] Friends in Scotland, I'm going to do Burke and Hair.

[399] That's right.

[400] What a couple assholes.

[401] Listen.

[402] Look and listen.

[403] Do you know this one?

[404] Of course you know this one.

[405] I have heard of it, yes.

[406] Well, I'm going to tell you.

[407] I think there's a movie that I tried to watch and I fell asleep.

[408] But that's not a judgment.

[409] I always fall asleep within 20 minutes of any movie.

[410] All right.

[411] Let's go to 1823.

[412] Great.

[413] The Judgment of Death Act.

[414] It's an act of parliament of the United Kingdom.

[415] This isn't going to be like last night where my story was two pages long, so I filled it in with a bunch of fucking history of Amsterdam.

[416] And I told it to a bunch of fucking people from Amsterdam.

[417] They were like, we know.

[418] So she'd start to tell me something, and then she'd be like, you know, it doesn't matter.

[419] And I'd be like, wait, what?

[420] She'd be like, you know, there's shipping, there's canals.

[421] Anyway, let's just move on.

[422] The word like, the flourishing of science and art. It was not me. Okay, so there's an act in parliament, which, so it says that the number of crimes punishable by death in Britain drops dramatically.

[423] So there's less dead bodies and that the medical and anatomical schools were only legally allowed to dissect the cadavers of those who had been condemned to death.

[424] So there was a, became a shortage of dead bodies to fucking take apart, you know, for science and shit.

[425] But because of the advancements in modern medicine in the 19th century, fresh corpses, I already told you that.

[426] Okay.

[427] We're off to a good start.

[428] So they could only use corpses of executed criminals and abandoned dead children and orphans.

[429] Super fucking chill.

[430] Because they wanted those young doctors in training to cry as much as possible.

[431] Yeah, it was essentially if you didn't have a family to claim you that the doctors and people could take you.

[432] So that went away.

[433] So this led to the resurrectionist movement where resurrection men or fucking body snatchers.

[434] would go and dig up freshly buried cadavers or unburied corpses from cemeteries and sell them on the black market.

[435] Like there would be cemeteries who'd just gotten behind in their work and they're like, just pile them up over there.

[436] Yeah.

[437] We'll get to those tomorrow.

[438] Yoink.

[439] Yeah.

[440] And of course, grave robbing is a crime so doctors, like, wouldn't ask questions and shit because they just really wanted those corpses.

[441] Grave robbing became so commonplace that relatives would just fucking chill at the grave until the bodies were, like, unusable.

[442] Oh, I'm thinking, like, picnic and shit.

[443] How long?

[444] Weeks?

[445] I don't know, yeah.

[446] I think they were, like, take shifts and just hang out there.

[447] Serious.

[448] And then they'd build, like, crazy walls and watch showers, and what a time to be alive.

[449] And dead.

[450] Okay, so enter Burke and Hare.

[451] They're both named William.

[452] So this is easy.

[453] Burke and hair, what's weird about them is before this whole fucking thing started, neither of them had a criminal record or a history of criminal behavior.

[454] And I think they were in their 30s when this started happening.

[455] So they were both born in 1792 from the Providence of Ulster and then north of Ireland.

[456] Fuck.

[457] Did I say?

[458] We need to pick someone to tell us.

[459] Don't worry about them.

[460] They're way back there.

[461] They moved to Scotland to work in the Union Canal, and Burke moved around 1817.

[462] He abandoned his wife and two children, came over here, and was like, I'm going to move in with this chick.

[463] Her name was Helen McDougal.

[464] But that, yeah.

[465] And then in 1828, they had lived together about 10 years.

[466] They were married, basically, and Burke was a shoemaker.

[467] he could read and write and he was charming and kind of hot.

[468] I think he was like, you know, Ted Bundy, ish.

[469] You know what I mean?

[470] Charming.

[471] Just the shoemaker type.

[472] I know.

[473] I've been there.

[474] Yeah.

[475] Okay.

[476] So the pair met because they both lived in the Westport district of the old town.

[477] They became close friends.

[478] And so Burke and his wife, Helen, they move into lodgings in Tanner's clothes.

[479] in the Westport area at Edinburgh.

[480] That's right.

[481] Thank you.

[482] So Hare lived the same street, and Hare and his wife, Margaret, are running a boarding house, and that's just when fucking people, you know, need cheap lodgings.

[483] They go there for super cheap.

[484] And so the first occurrence of selling a body is kind of innocent.

[485] In December 1827, as it always is.

[486] It's always the first one.

[487] It was more happenstance, really, than anything else.

[488] In December of 1827, one of the boarding house tenants is an old man, he's an army pensioner, his name is Old Donald.

[489] That's right.

[490] He dies of natural causes, but he still owes four pounds in rent.

[491] So they're like, oh, shit, we need this money stole.

[492] What we, you know, what we should try to do is sell this body for fucking...

[493] He's about a four -pounder, that guy?

[494] Yeah.

[495] Okay.

[496] So Burke and Hare devises this thing where they do the old switcheroo with the morgue, and they put, like, you know, I don't know, newspaper in the, in the casket.

[497] Sure.

[498] They put it, they put stuff a bunch of haggis into a bag and sticking on there.

[499] Pandering.

[500] You guys.

[501] So then they take the body to the medical school at Edinburgh, Edinburgh University to try to sell it.

[502] But a student there is like, no, no, no, no, no. The guy you got to go to.

[503] You need to go to Surgeon Square, which sounds like, it's like the red light district for fucking doctors and anatomy.

[504] It's like where everyone's...

[505] They're like, stethoscopes.

[506] Steposcopes.

[507] Yeah.

[508] And speak to Dr. Robert Knox.

[509] He's a popular anatomy lecturer.

[510] And he fucking, he's stoked because bodies are so hard to come by.

[511] He happily pays them seven to ten pounds for old Donald's body.

[512] No questions asked.

[513] Shit.

[514] Ask a question.

[515] Dude.

[516] Ask one question.

[517] Now, how old is old Donald?

[518] And then they'd be like, you should be able to find that out yourself.

[519] You're such a good doctor.

[520] Said you're a doctor.

[521] So they're like, oh shit, this is easy and cool.

[522] Quote.

[523] It's not just easy.

[524] It's cool.

[525] And then they like gun it on their motorcycle and get the fuck out of there.

[526] Yes.

[527] Yes.

[528] Yes.

[529] And really, this is more money than they would have made in months of just regular old work.

[530] So they're like, fuck.

[531] Got to love that.

[532] Yeah.

[533] So in early 1828, an elderly man named Joseph, whose thing at the boarding house, gets super sick.

[534] Are you older Joseph?

[535] Sorry.

[536] Sorry.

[537] It wasn't worth it.

[538] He becomes sick, and he's probably going to die from his illness.

[539] And they're like, let's not wait around, though.

[540] Shit.

[541] Yeah.

[542] They're like, let's help this a lot.

[543] long.

[544] So here's, this becomes their, um, signature move.

[545] They get him fucking shit -faced on whiskey and then they, wait, and then, I don't think you're going to like this.

[546] Although they may be into it.

[547] You don't know.

[548] They, they get them shit -faced so they're like passed out and then they do what comes to be known as burking.

[549] Because of fucking burke.

[550] Because of the burke part.

[551] Let me explain this.

[552] Please do.

[553] So they basically compress the chest and cover the nose in the mouth at the same time.

[554] So the person suffocates.

[555] But because they're drunk, they're not fighting.

[556] There's no bruising.

[557] There's no ligature marks.

[558] It's fucking sinister.

[559] And so he dies and he dies of burking.

[560] They, again, easily sell no questions asked, this body to Dr. knocks, and then again, now they're like, well, we're in it.

[561] You know what I mean?

[562] But then if somebody comes along and they're like, hey, I need to rent a room, my name is incredibly healthy Joe.

[563] They're like, no, I'm sorry, no rooms available.

[564] Can't do it.

[565] Well, no, at this point, they're like, how about let's just kill people?

[566] Like, there's no, like, pretexts.

[567] Oh, the renting part is out.

[568] The what?

[569] The renting a room?

[570] Renting the room, no, the like, sick and dying part is out.

[571] Right.

[572] And eventually the renting the room part is out.

[573] Got it.

[574] So, um, so then another dude comes along, um, an old man from Cheshire.

[575] Cheshire.

[576] Cheshire?

[577] I'm from Southern California.

[578] But, fuck, sorry, but you should have seen us in fucking Oslob.

[579] Oh, my God.

[580] You should have seen.

[581] Sweden.

[582] Holy shit.

[583] Poor, poor, poor, poor Sweden.

[584] Oh, angels.

[585] We were just destroying their language in a way that like, At the meet and greet, people would come up and we'd be like, I hi, what's your name?

[586] And they'd be like, hey, don't take it the da -da -da.

[587] And I'd be like, and so I'd just try to mimic them, just like, oh, is it Cahun da -da -da -da?

[588] And they'd be like, it's Kristen.

[589] Just immediately.

[590] They all have American names because they're like, just shut up.

[591] Yeah, we know you can't extend yourself to any other part of the world.

[592] Here, here's my American name.

[593] I feel like this was our apologies for being American tour.

[594] Well, we're so sorry.

[595] We know and we're sorry.

[596] We didn't vote for him.

[597] There's just not that much.

[598] I mean.

[599] We're not all like that.

[600] Most of us, them, my mom.

[601] Okay.

[602] I mean, the shit that's been going on in news these days, I'm like, we don't have to get a plane back immediately, right?

[603] That's right.

[604] Okay.

[605] So this dude comes in.

[606] He's ill with John.

[607] and in the lodging house they smother him again, they get another 10 pounds, no more, not another question is thought about.

[608] So then there's no more ill tenants, and so they're like...

[609] They've killed every sick person in town.

[610] And then, I don't know, maybe they were like they'll be ill someday, we're basically just helping them along.

[611] So they decide to start enticing people to Margaret's lodging house and like making them come there.

[612] So Bergen -Hare go out into the streets to search for more bodies, and they prey on the poorest communities, people who are not likely to be missed or recognized.

[613] So on the morning of April 9th, 1828, two local sex workers, Jana Brown, and Mary Patterson, they run into charming Ted Bundy Burke, and he invites them over to drink during the day.

[614] A nice morning drink?

[615] Sure.

[616] Ben there.

[617] And they're like, absolutely, we'll be there.

[618] So they eat and drink and party, and Mary eventually passes out, and Janet takes off for a hot second.

[619] And then when she comes back, her friend's gone, and she's like, what the fuck's going on?

[620] She's suspicious of it.

[621] And McDougal claims that she and Burke had left without him.

[622] They didn't say where they were going.

[623] She's like, they totally left.

[624] And so she leaves, but she had no idea that Mary Patterson was lying dead in the next room waiting to be taken to Knox, Dr. Knox.

[625] And some of the students that our work under Dr. Knox are like, we know her, like she's this beautiful young woman that everyone kind of knows in town.

[626] One of them said they had just seen her that morning, and they start to get a little suspicious first.

[627] that's kind of uncomfortable when you have to do you know like an autopsy on someone you know like your friend oh the girl from town yeah well at least shut her eyes they were also super suspicious because the body was so fresh that they were like this doesn't seem like you went and snatched this should she be twitching I don't like this at all one of them said that he thought that if he had blood let her which was like the thing they did back then great she would have felt like she would have woken up like she wasn't warm but she also hadn't gotten rigor mortis yet so that was like creepy and weird I mean listen her name was actually very alive Janet in late spring they kill her next victim he's an acquaintance of Birx she's a beggar called named Effie they were paid 10 pounds for her body then they start to get reckless in the summer of 1828 this is all within one year by the way whoa yeah they spot They spot a drunk woman being dragged by the Westport policeman.

[628] And Burke's like, hey, you should just let her go back to her house.

[629] And the police were like, we don't know where her house is.

[630] And Burke's like, you know what?

[631] I'll take care of this.

[632] And I won't kill her, I swear.

[633] Yeah.

[634] I am in no way going to hold her nose closed and sit on her chest.

[635] So they hand her over to him, and they murdered her as well.

[636] and hours later took her to the school to fucking get dissected.

[637] Okay?

[638] That's appropriate.

[639] In June that year, there's two more victims, an old woman and her grandson, who are lodgers there.

[640] I know.

[641] It's really awful.

[642] Burke said that this was, the murder of the grandson is the murder that disturbed him the most, which is like great.

[643] Oh, that's good, yeah.

[644] That's a good sign.

[645] And the bodies are, again, take Dr. Knox.

[646] they each get eight pounds.

[647] Let's see.

[648] The next two victims are Burke's acquaintance, Mrs. Osler, a washerwoman, who came to do laundry, which is like, fucking let her do the laundry and leave.

[649] You know what I mean?

[650] I wonder if he...

[651] I hate him.

[652] They got her drunk and killed her.

[653] And then a week or two later, one of McDougal's relatives Anne Dougal visited and they killed her.

[654] They're just like the laziest serial killers of all time.

[655] It's like, at least leave your home and try to find people.

[656] It's just whoever buzzes by.

[657] That's right.

[658] It's not smart.

[659] No. So, let's see.

[660] Let's see, two more people, Elizabeth Haldon and her daughter, Peggy.

[661] And then, so this is where it all goes to shit for them.

[662] In October, they brought in a well -known children's entertainer.

[663] His name is James Wilson, but he's known around the city as Daffed Jamie.

[664] And she's like, oh, my God.

[665] Is he, is he, he entertains children or he's a child that's like, Hello, my baby.

[666] Both.

[667] He's only 18 years old.

[668] He has a limp because he has feet abnormalities.

[669] But it seems like he's like known around town and everyone seems to like him.

[670] He supported himself by begging.

[671] He resists, they don't get him drunk enough because he doesn't like whiskey.

[672] And so he resists them and he was strong.

[673] And so they had to kill him together and, like, actually struggled against this.

[674] Her mom, his mother starts looking for him.

[675] And the next morning, when Dr. Knox uncovers the body of James Wilson, several students are like, dude, we know him.

[676] And they're like, you know what?

[677] I don't want to be a doctor anymore.

[678] Just fuck this shit.

[679] And see, at the end of this story, Dr. Knox is never, you're never really sure if he knows or not.

[680] but this little piece of evidence that he's like, no, it's not, and he dissects the feet and gets rid of them and dissects the head and gets rid of it first.

[681] So he, like, is covering...

[682] Covering shit up.

[683] He's in.

[684] Yeah.

[685] And then on Halloween, 1828, okay, their last victim, her name is Marjorie Campbell, Doherty.

[686] She's lured to stay with Burke and McDougal on the pretense that she's a distant relative.

[687] They're like, come stay with us.

[688] Never stay with your fucking second cousin or whatever.

[689] It's like weird And then so there's another couple there Mr. and Mrs. Gray And they are the heroes of this story They got suspicious about this old lady That was staying in the lodging place with them as well They got kicked out that night Because they were like, we need some alone time with this old lady Not a good sign And when they get back in the morning They're like, where did she go?

[690] And they're like nowhere, and you can't go into that room Oh.

[691] And Mrs. Gray's like, my shit's in there, and they're like, sorry, you can't go in there.

[692] So...

[693] But my toothbrush.

[694] Yeah.

[695] So when she had a moment, Mrs. Gray, like, forced her way in and found Marjorie's body under the bed.

[696] Yeah, yeah, pushy lady.

[697] Yes.

[698] And they were, like, well, we'll give you $10 a week if you don't tell anyone about it.

[699] Whoa.

[700] And the Grays are like, go fuck yourself.

[701] so yeah they report it to the police in the meantime of course the body is taken away but it turns out when everyone gets questioned everyone gives conflicting accounts and Burke and Hare end up blaming each other for the whole thing so the whole thing is fucking busted white open so of course it leads them to Dr. Knox and then Janet Brown the sex worker identifies her friend's clothes that had been given to Mrs. Hare Oh.

[702] And so they didn't have a lot of hard evidence, but they eventually offered William Hare immunity in return for testifying against Burke and McDougal.

[703] They're like, well, the death move is named after Burke, so we want him.

[704] Yeah.

[705] If it was called Herring, this would be a different story altogether.

[706] So Burke and his wife are charged with Marjorie's murder, but McDougall's eventually set free and not proven under Scottish law, but Burke is sentenced to death by hanging.

[707] So in total Burke and Hare murdered 16 people within the span of a year.

[708] Some people think it was higher than that.

[709] And of course there's no body used to fucking autopsy because they'd already been autopsy.

[710] Yeah, that happened already.

[711] So pretty much everyone agrees that Margaret Hare knew about the murders, although it's never proven, but she did get a dollar a week off of them, off of them, for basically, like, letting them kill people in her house.

[712] So she probably knew about it.

[713] And then, um, it's assumed that Helen McDougall, uh, maybe didn't know about it, but probably she did.

[714] That common -law wife that was there the whole time?

[715] Yeah.

[716] She fucking knew.

[717] So, on January 28th, 1829 in front of a fucking really excited, stoked crowd.

[718] of over 25 ,000 people possibly.

[719] I know.

[720] William Burke is hanged at lawn market and put on public display.

[721] And then later that day, here's fucking some fun irony for you.

[722] His body is donate to medical science.

[723] Shit.

[724] That's that Scotter's sense of humor that everyone talks about.

[725] That's right.

[726] The next day his body is publicly dissected in the same anatomy theater that he had helped support.

[727] fly with fresh corpses.

[728] So many, fuck yeah.

[729] I mean, gross, but yeah.

[730] So many people tried to attend the dissection that a riot ensued.

[731] Yes.

[732] And eventually the university arranged to admit spectators in a group of 50 at a time.

[733] They were like, calm down, you'll all get in.

[734] Some people are like, I want to be there for the eyes.

[735] Yeah.

[736] As part of the dissection, Professor Mernro, who he had possibly escaped his death by the hands of Burke and hair.

[737] Okay, here's this this is fucking gross.

[738] He dips his quill pen into Burke's blood and writes, this is written in the blood of William Burke, who was hanged at Edinburgh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[739] Like, writes a whole thing out with his blood.

[740] It's like, dude, can you chill out a little bit?

[741] You guys love vengeance, don't you?

[742] Shit.

[743] And, like, all these anatomy students like, it was like it was Hala.

[744] They all took a piece of him and, like, kept it a souvenir even using part of the skin to bind books and as cardholders.

[745] It's like, okay, you guys, who's the fuck up, like, weirdo now?

[746] Yeah, it's...

[747] It's a step too far.

[748] You've gone now full circle.

[749] Yeah.

[750] Burke's skeleton and a pocketbook made from the skin is still on display at Surgeons Hall in Edinburgh.

[751] Surgeons.

[752] Is it the cutest pocketbook?

[753] Next to his death mask and the life mask of hairs.

[754] face.

[755] Hair was released in 1829.

[756] He escaped into England.

[757] No one knows what happened to him for sure, but it was rumored he was thrown into a lime quarry by an angry mob.

[758] I think everyone else in the husbands and wives and everyone didn't have a great life after this.

[759] I bet.

[760] Which is like what we'd hope for.

[761] Let's see.

[762] And Dr. Knox has cleared of his involvement completely.

[763] Of course.

[764] I know.

[765] But he didn't have a great life.

[766] His reputation was ruined.

[767] Blah, blah, blah.

[768] In the aftermath of their killing spree, the practice of murdering by suffocation is now known as burking.

[769] And the Birkenhair murders led to the Anatomy Act of 1832, which allowed doctors, anatomy lecturers, and medical students greater access to cadavers.

[770] And don't make them work for it.

[771] Then they will.

[772] Let them have them and allowed for legal donation of bodies to medical science, effectively ending illegal body snatching.

[773] And that's burg and hair.

[774] Wow.

[775] That's dark.

[776] I know.

[777] So dark.

[778] It just makes me think of all those times after going to a bar and someone's like, come back to our house.

[779] We'll keep drinking.

[780] And then you're just like, no, okay, it sounds great.

[781] You're just like a half an inch away from being burked somewhere.

[782] Yeah.

[783] Yeah.

[784] Right?

[785] Yes.

[786] Thank you.

[787] I'm going to do mine.

[788] and I'm going to do Peter Tobin Listen When I And my Uber on the way over here I was talking to the driver And he knew this story better than me And then I was like This is a terrible mistake I'm making right now Just like to remind you all We're in a foreign country Just fucking using Wikipedia Like any other good American would To tell you about your own city's history We should have him come on stage in like sign language what it really is going on.

[789] Exactly, what's actually happening.

[790] But what I loved was as we drove through the city as we talked about the case and he goes, oh yeah, that's right over there.

[791] And it was like everything was within three minutes of the street we were driving on every time.

[792] Does he have his own true crime podcast you can shout out?

[793] He should.

[794] From his Uber.

[795] Yeah, that's actually a good idea.

[796] Don't steal a lot.

[797] Copyright, copyright.

[798] Amen.

[799] Make a note.

[800] Steven, send it to the government.

[801] Okay.

[802] Not our government.

[803] They're busy.

[804] Okay.

[805] This is such a fascinating and yet insanely horrible.

[806] This guy is fucking awful.

[807] Okay.

[808] And then it has this really awesome kind of or fascinating twist -a -roo that I could not believe.

[809] And Stephen found this one for me. So Stephen...

[810] Poor Stephen on his little barf -covered keyboard.

[811] Just trying to post.

[812] post one more picture of the cats.

[813] I think that's, it's like the only thing that could keep him from posting pictures of your cats.

[814] No, he has a phone.

[815] Oh, that's wrong.

[816] The laptop doesn't even come into it.

[817] No. You got to call Mimi and be like, barf on his phone.

[818] Oh, no. Mimi uses a phone from the 60s.

[819] Oh, my God.

[820] Totally.

[821] Hello, Mimi.

[822] Put your Bluetooth headset on.

[823] Ahoy, hoi, hoi.

[824] This is Mimi.

[825] This is Mimi, who's speaking?

[826] Dotty's her secretary.

[827] Oh, I got a call just as a, if we're going to do a pet sidebar.

[828] I got a call.

[829] It's always bad when you have an unknown caller calls twice in a row on your phone.

[830] That's bad news, always.

[831] And last night, it was 1 .30 in the morning, our time in Amsterdam.

[832] I get two calls from Burbank, and I'm like, fuck.

[833] This is one of my neighbors.

[834] So I've talked about this a little bit before, but my dog, George, is like a mix, and she's basically like a lab.

[835] Please don't cheer for her.

[836] She's fiercely private.

[837] But, no, she's good, except she, I don't know if something bad happened to her.

[838] And also, she was, when she was a puppy, she lived at, like, one of those wall climbing places or something.

[839] because this fucking dog can climb fences.

[840] So the fence on the side of my yard is six feet tall.

[841] And when she, so she had gotten out of my house a couple times, and I kept thinking, I was just making up what was happening because my whole yard was totally secure.

[842] So I was like, okay, this fence is a little rickety.

[843] So I had like two fences replaced because I was like, she got out three times.

[844] I live in, sorry, but I swear this will be over a much.

[845] second.

[846] All my neighbors are assholes and they're old and retired and racist and I hate them.

[847] Oh, I'm finally free to say that.

[848] I hate them.

[849] They love hate.

[850] They do.

[851] This city is hard.

[852] But when she got out like the third time, so it was not like the dog gets out and they immediately all put it on that fucking next door app.

[853] I don't know if you guys have that over here.

[854] but it's just this app where like retired racist people can like post, I saw a person that was darker than pale walking down the street lock your doors.

[855] It's that shit.

[856] Constantly.

[857] And then of course, as I said once on the podcast Daytime Raccoon warning, which was hilarious.

[858] I saw a daytime raccoon.

[859] Then we make jokes about it on the podcast.

[860] Then one Raccoon expert tweets at us and is like, actually, if you see a daytime raccoon, that might mean they have rabies.

[861] They probably have rabies.

[862] So it's like, oh, okay, sorry.

[863] Sorry about that.

[864] I'll correct it.

[865] Then somebody else comes in.

[866] Daytime raccoons are fine.

[867] So it's just like, get your fucking raccoon story straight before you start adding me, telling me what to do.

[868] Anyhow, two calls.

[869] It's the Burbank dog pound.

[870] George fucking scaled that fence again.

[871] The same day that Ellis barfed on Stephen's laptop.

[872] It's like they called each other.

[873] They're like, we're making a break for it, right?

[874] They've been gone to.

[875] long.

[876] Both of our pets were like two weeks is too long.

[877] We're not doing this anymore.

[878] Because they love us so much.

[879] It's not true.

[880] Elvis had a stomach ache and this one was like getting out of here.

[881] A bored.

[882] Yeah.

[883] George, I think it's because my dog sitter brings her dogs over and George is like, who is laying in my spot on the couch?

[884] Get away.

[885] So anyway, I guess that has no ending.

[886] No. Then the dog sitter got her at the pound.

[887] Oh, Georgia posted the picture on Instagram.

[888] and immediately murderinos from across the nation start going, we have to find George and doing all the shit.

[889] And it's like, no, no, she was caught.

[890] She got out of the yard and immediately picked up by animal control.

[891] Like, she didn't make it to the end of our street.

[892] She immediately got picked up, like, don't organize anything.

[893] She was actually never missing.

[894] While she was there, I made them give her shots, though, so she wouldn't want to go back.

[895] The murderinos already recorded a, like, album.

[896] To sell of, like, bring George home.

[897] Please, George, they start making pleas on television.

[898] George, you're a good girl, we love you.

[899] What kind of dog are you?

[900] You're not in trouble.

[901] Okay.

[902] Focus.

[903] I'm trying to talk about something.

[904] Okay, so Peter Tobin is born August 27th, 1946, in Johnstone, Renfusher, Scotland.

[905] Near, it's probably near a lake, I would imagine.

[906] He's the youngest of eight siblings.

[907] Oof, yeah.

[908] In a big Catholic family, he has four older sisters and three older brothers.

[909] And he is immediately labeled a difficult child.

[910] When he's seven years old, he's sent to what's called over here an approved school, which sounds to me like in the description, a residential institution where young people are sent by the court for committing offenses, deemed beyond parental control.

[911] So it's juvie, essentially.

[912] So then later he serves time in a young offender institution.

[913] There's this line that just says, at some point he joins the French Foreign Legion, but doesn't stay.

[914] I'm like, what was that like?

[915] That's like somebody high on Wikipedia being like, guess what?

[916] I'm going to add.

[917] So I had to pass it on.

[918] Because I'm all about misinformation.

[919] Okay, so in 1969, he meets his first wife.

[920] He has gone out to a Barrowland ballroom, which is...

[921] So in the 60s, there was this...

[922] It was like a dance hall.

[923] And now I hear it's a gorgeous market.

[924] But that's a time.

[925] It's like where people would go to hang out.

[926] I looked it up on Wikipedia.

[927] They said it has a sprung floor.

[928] So you know that those kind of, when you go to see a rock show and the floor is like bouncy.

[929] Oh, yeah.

[930] Because they used to do that when people were like super into dancing.

[931] Wow.

[932] And so it was like a place a lot of people went in Glasgow in the 60s.

[933] And so he meets a 17 -year -old there named Margaret Mountaine.

[934] And they get married and they moved to what?

[935] Nothing.

[936] What happened?

[937] That went quick.

[938] But they got married.

[939] They met there, and they got married.

[940] They met, they danced twice, and they're like, let's do this.

[941] Time's a waste in.

[942] So they moved to Brighton over in England, apparently.

[943] One year later, they get divorced.

[944] No judgments.

[945] I've been there.

[946] In 1970, he goes to prison in England for burglary and forgery.

[947] In 1973, he marries again.

[948] this time, a 30 -year -old nurse named Sylvia Jeffreys.

[949] They have a son, and then they have a daughter.

[950] The daughter dies pretty soon after childbirth.

[951] And then after three years of marriage, Sylvia leaves, takes the son with her.

[952] Then 11 years after that, it's December of 1987.

[953] And Peter has a new girlfriend.

[954] Her name's Kathy Wilson.

[955] She gives birth to a son.

[956] She's 15 years old.

[957] Oh, no. And he's much older than I think he's over twice her age.

[958] They married two years after their son is born.

[959] And then at the ripe old age of 18, she leaves him.

[960] She's like, goodbye.

[961] Because all of these wives, all three of his wives later say that they fell for a man who was very charming and very well -dressed and suave.

[962] And soon after marriage, it's revealed that he's fucking sadistic, violent.

[963] asshole.

[964] And they'd all been raped by him, imprisoned by him, beaten by him, and that basically he's a psychopath.

[965] Wow.

[966] Yeah.

[967] So in 1993, Peter Tobin moves to Havent Hampshire to be near his youngest son.

[968] And on August 4th, 1993, two 14 -year -old girls go to the apartment complex where he lives in Lee Park and they're there to visit one of Peter Tobin's neighbors but the neighbor isn't home so they buzz his apartment and ask if they can come in and wait in his apartment until their friend gets back because it's fucking I mean it's please don't do that so as they're there he starts he's like do you want to drink let's all drink let's drink cider and vodka and they're like yeah no thanks he fucking pulls out a knife and holds them at knife point makes them drink he then rapes both of them stabs one of them then he fucking turns on the gas to kill them both his his son is there the whole time oh no uh -huh um but they both end up surviving and he so peter goes on the run um he hides under a false name with the jesus fellowship in coventry uh right the perfect hiding place um but police in Coventry spot his blue Austin Metro and he is captured in Brighton.

[969] So he goes on trial on May 18th, 1994 and he pleads guilty and he receives a 14 year prison sentence and he's released 10 years later and he returns to Paisley.

[970] I said Paisley wrong?

[971] I think that it's just a great place?

[972] Oh, it's the best place in the world?

[973] It's where all bad things happen.

[974] Let's go there on the way to the airport tomorrow.

[975] You guys, let's all go right now.

[976] You guys, let's rent a bus.

[977] Okay.

[978] Well, he moves away from Paisley because he gets it in November of 2005, but he doesn't tell the cops that he's moving away, which he's not allowed to do, so a warrant is issued for his arrest.

[979] Less than a year later, he shows up back in Glasgow, and he is going by the alias Pat McLaughlin, and, right?

[980] So he starts showing up at St. Patrick's Catholic Church twice a week, because they have a soup kitchen there that's open twice a week.

[981] So he's going to the soup kitchen, and then he basically starts telling the people, people at the church, priests or whatever, that he will be the handyman there, like he's trying to get a job.

[982] And so they employ him as their handyman, and one of the priests calls Frank a godsend.

[983] So he's not, he's not going to be, because this is, it's at St. Patrick's Church where he crosses paths with a young woman named Angelica Club.

[984] So she's a 23 -year -old student from Poland.

[985] And she's living at the church.

[986] She's a cleaner at the church and she also is getting free room and board.

[987] She's trying to make money and save it so she can go to college back in Poland.

[988] But on September 24th, 2006, Angelica disappears.

[989] And she's last seen at 2 .30 that day by Father Gerard Nugent.

[990] And he had, he's the one that hired Angelica.

[991] And he had passed by the garage in the chapel house and he sees Angelica and the handyman Pat McLaughlin painting a shed together and he's like isn't that nice that we all love the Lord and that's the last time Angelica is seen alive so she goes missing and they reported to the police and the police start looking into it five days later they find Angelica's body hidden beneath the floorboards inside the church near the confessional.

[992] Oh, no. Inside the fucking church.

[993] So she's been raped, beaten, gagged, bound, and she was stabbed 16 times in the chest.

[994] And the worst part of it is, it's all fucking horrible.

[995] And the worst part is the evidence showed that she was alive when she was put under those floorboards.

[996] And in a church, it's just horrifying.

[997] How have I never heard this one?

[998] What's that?

[999] Have I never heard this before?

[1000] Yeah, it's got a lot.

[1001] So soon after, they put it all together, and Pat McLaughlin, the handyman, who is actually Peter Tobin, is arrested in London.

[1002] So he goes to trial for Angelicus murder, and begins in Edinburgh on March 23rd, 2007.

[1003] and when Father Gerard testifies on the stand about having seen Angelica last with the handy man, he ends up, he's 63 -year -old Catholic priest, he ends up confessing that he'd been having a sexual relationship with Angelica.

[1004] Is there a Catholic priest here?

[1005] He's like, I didn't.

[1006] I just can't, like, the idea of the people that were at this trial where it's just, Sorry, like, wait, sorry, what do you, this is his thing.

[1007] What are you doing?

[1008] Like, an episode of Law and Order, like, shit like that doesn't happen in real life.

[1009] It's a total twisteroo.

[1010] He also admits on the stand to being an alcoholic, even though he had gotten sober 10 years earlier, so it really shouldn't be coming into play anymore, but it basically all of this, it was starting to kind of turn, they were using that as, as his defense or like that Peter Tobin wasn't the only suspect or whatever.

[1011] Um, but, uh, still, Peter's found guilty because the evidence is overwhelming.

[1012] Um, Peter Tobin's DNA was found on the kitchen cloth that was in Angelica's mouth.

[1013] And then his fingerprints were on items that were buried with her body.

[1014] Um, he's found guilty sentenced to life imprisonment to serve a minimum of 21 years.

[1015] And of course, Father Gerard has to step down as the parish priest.

[1016] Uh, seems fair.

[1017] Um, so then.

[1018] When he is arrested for Angelica's murder, authorities noticed that when Peter Tobin he was living in Bathgate at the same time as...

[1019] It's good and bad?

[1020] Good and bad.

[1021] I know.

[1022] I don't know how you guys feel about these places.

[1023] Yeah.

[1024] Or somebody in the middle of the room is on a roller coaster.

[1025] That's what it actually sounds like.

[1026] I mean, I like it.

[1027] There are my family's there, but then also I get beaten up a lot.

[1028] A lot of feelings.

[1029] Oh, there's a twisteroo.

[1030] There's several.

[1031] It's so fucking crazy.

[1032] So basically the cops, there is a cold case.

[1033] So there's a 15 -year -old girl named Vicki Hamilton who had disappeared.

[1034] She was last seen February 10th, 1991.

[1035] She'd spent the weekend with her sister, Sharon.

[1036] She was trying to take the bus back home to her mother's house near Fall Kirk.

[1037] Whoa.

[1038] Fall Kirk sounds amazing.

[1039] overwhelmingly.

[1040] Okay, she was taking, this was the first time that she was taking the bus alone, so she was super worried because she had to transfer at some point and switch buses.

[1041] So she kept asking people for help and which bus she should take.

[1042] And so she's last seen waiting for her second bus in Bathgate.

[1043] Her purse is found in San Andrew Square in Edinburgh, in, on February 21st, 1991.

[1044] So they file a missing person's report.

[1045] Police are thinking that she's a runway because they end up finding, because her purse is found and they're like, it looks, it seems like she went to London and she was basically going the opposite direction, like trying to get out of her hometown.

[1046] They spend two months looking for her in London and they can't find her and the case goes cold.

[1047] So in the spring of 2006, they reopened that file.

[1048] and take it out of cold case.

[1049] And then they're looking at all the statements and all the evidence.

[1050] And basically the new investigators, like, this girl was murdered.

[1051] This isn't just a, this isn't a runaway and this isn't a normal disappearance.

[1052] So they submit Vicky's purse for DNA testing, and they find the DNA on the purse of Peter Tobin's three -year -old son.

[1053] Oh, shit.

[1054] And then they start looking at the purse.

[1055] And so Tobin's son was staying with him.

[1056] him three days after Vicky went missing.

[1057] And when they actually examine the purse, they see that it suggests the boy had bitten it, like his father gave it to him as a toy to, like, distract him with.

[1058] Oh, my God.

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] So they believe they're putting it together because he lived in Bathgate at the time that he was one of the eight people that Vicky had asked for help when she was trying to figure out what bus to take.

[1061] So on November 14th, 2007, the police get a warrant and they dig a fucking six -foot pit in Peter Tobin's backyard.

[1062] And they find a slab of concrete underneath the dirt and the grass.

[1063] They find a slab of concrete, which is always bad.

[1064] Underneath it, Vicki Hamilton's remains are wrapped in plastic.

[1065] And they find four of Peter Tobin's fingerprints on her body.

[1066] and they find evidence of bruising on her arms and her neck and traces of the sedative amatryptylene in her liver, but she's been cut up, essentially.

[1067] It's so crazy that, like, I mean, I'm always like, how many bodies are buried in the woods?

[1068] But it's like, what about the fucking backyards of people?

[1069] The backyard.

[1070] That's terrible.

[1071] That's right.

[1072] It's horrifying.

[1073] Well, and just hold on to that table because...

[1074] Okay.

[1075] meters away from where Vicki's body is.

[1076] Oh, no. They find a second body under the slab.

[1077] And it's 18 -year -old Dynamic Nickel who had been missing since August 5th, 1991.

[1078] Holy shit.

[1079] So Dina was hitchhiking home from a music festival with a guy that she met at the music festival named David Tremlitt.

[1080] And they get a ride from a guy at a petrol station.

[1081] That's a gas station, you're a me. And they make a move that is like, why?

[1082] they drop David off first.

[1083] She is four foot, like 11, I think it's set.

[1084] She's a tiny little girl, gets left alone in the car with this fucking random dude, and she's never seen again.

[1085] And after her disappearance, there's regular withdrawals of 250 pounds from her bank account, and her friends and family keep telling the police, she wouldn't do that because she was trying to save up her money to go to college and for traveling.

[1086] So she wouldn't just be fucking randomly spending a bunch of money.

[1087] Sure.

[1088] But it would be 18 years before her family would ever know what happened to her.

[1089] And until they basically, they dig up this backyard.

[1090] So Peter Tobin's second trial on December 2nd, 2008, he's convicted of Vicky Hamilton's murder after a month -long trial.

[1091] And he's sentenced to life in prison.

[1092] And the judge said, quote, yet again, you've shown yourself to be unfit to live in a decent society.

[1093] it's hard for me to convey the loathing and revulsion that ordinary people will feel for what you have done.

[1094] I fix the minimum period, which you must spend in custody to be 30 years.

[1095] Yeah.

[1096] So then Dynas trial is set for June of 2009, but then Peter Tobin gets ill. He has to get surgery.

[1097] So then they resume it.

[1098] It starts on December 14th.

[1099] Two days later, he is convicted of her murder.

[1100] her.

[1101] Not that month -long shit.

[1102] They're just like, yep, it's a yes.

[1103] Yes.

[1104] This results in his third fucking life sentence.

[1105] And they said that he sat in the courtroom with no emotion, while two members of the jury wept during the proceedings because the details of everything were so terrible.

[1106] Now, of course, this was huge, huge news here.

[1107] And so as the news breaks, people are seeing it on their TVs.

[1108] And so then here comes this.

[1109] We'd have to skip to a page.

[1110] Now, ready?

[1111] Yeah.

[1112] When the Barrowland...

[1113] So there's a cop who has been retired.

[1114] He was a cop during the 60s, and he worked on a thing called the Bible John Barrowland Ballroom Murders.

[1115] Oh.

[1116] Yes.

[1117] And when he sees the picture of Peter Tobin on television, he says quote, this is as near to Bible John as you're going to get.

[1118] Shit, what's Bible John?

[1119] And then two women come forward and say, I saw Peter Tobin on the news and one woman said she had been raped by Peter Tobin when she met him at the Barrowland Ballroom in Glasgow in 1968 around the time of the Bible John killings.

[1120] And when she saw the picture of him on TV.

[1121] Forty years later, she said her legs gave way.

[1122] And the same thing happened.

[1123] Another woman came forward in 2010 when she saw his picture, said that she had a threatening experience with this, who she thought was Peter Tobin at the Barrowland Ballroom.

[1124] She said, it was the man who came up to me so many years ago in Barrowlands.

[1125] I am 100 % certain Tobin is Bible John.

[1126] Okay.

[1127] So now we go back.

[1128] Oh my God, this is like the most exciting fucking story I've ever heard of my life.

[1129] It's fucking nuts of bizarre.

[1130] And it's very similar.

[1131] It reminds me that parallel of Esteria rapists where it's just like this thing, if you keep letting these people out and they're this certain style of psychopath, they just keep escalating and they just keep fucking killing.

[1132] So basically it started on February 23rd, 1968, the naked body of a 25 -year -old nurse and mother named Patricia Docker is found by a man who's on his way to work in a lane behind Carmack, Michael Place, and Glasgow.

[1133] She's been raped and strangled yards away from her home.

[1134] Then the night before, she had told her parents that she was going out dancing at the majestic ballroom on Hope Street, but then she switched it up and she ended up going to Barreland Ballroom for the 25 and older night.

[1135] Get those fucking kids out of here.

[1136] No, we're not doing the twist.

[1137] Her clothes and handbag are never found.

[1138] And then on Friday, August 15th, 1969, 32 -year -old mother of three, Jemima McDonald, goes out for a night at the Barreland Ballroom.

[1139] She does not return.

[1140] And then that weekend, this is super fucked up.

[1141] Her sister knows that she hasn't come back.

[1142] She's super worried.

[1143] and she starts to hear rumors in the neighborhood of the little kids talking about how they've seen a dead body and an old tenement building on McKeith Street.

[1144] So she's, of course, more and more worried.

[1145] So finally, she goes to the old tenement building to check and she finds her own sister's dead body there.

[1146] She's been strangled, raped, and beaten to death.

[1147] She was fully clothed.

[1148] So witnesses say that they had seen her, Jemima, leaving the Barrowland ballroom at midnight with a tall, slim, young man with red hair.

[1149] And another witness said that they heard screams coming from that building on McKeith Street.

[1150] A month later, on October 31st, 1969, 29 -year -old Helen Puddock is found murdered in her own back, in the backyard of her flat.

[1151] She had also been to the Barreland Ballroom the night she was murdered.

[1152] She and her sister, Jean, had met two men, both named John there.

[1153] They hung out for an hour.

[1154] They decided.

[1155] to head home.

[1156] The first guy named John left.

[1157] This was like, good night, I'm going to go take the bus.

[1158] And so Helen, Jean, and the second John, they got a taxi headed toward Knightswood, which is where Jean lived.

[1159] And the second John, who shared the cab with them, was very well -spoken, very well -dressed, and he quoted from the Bible a lot.

[1160] And this is where they got the name Bible John.

[1161] Oh, my God, that's so creepy.

[1162] It's so fucking creepy.

[1163] Like, you're chatting with a guy at a club, and then he's like, Ecclesiastes, 3, 97, 35.

[1164] Fuck.

[1165] It's like the thing of like he was charming and well spoken that doesn't fit with, and he kept quoting the fucking Bible.

[1166] Like that's bananas, and this is not.

[1167] Right.

[1168] I think that Bible quotes were big in the late 60s.

[1169] Not really.

[1170] Bible John is like such a creepy name.

[1171] It's so creepy.

[1172] This whole thing.

[1173] So Gene was dropped off and Helen and John, So basically her sister's like, oh, you like this guy.

[1174] And he's really well -dressed and loves the fucking Bible.

[1175] So I'm going to let you go with him.

[1176] And they were going to go to Helen's house.

[1177] She's found raped and strangled.

[1178] Her purse is missing.

[1179] The contents of it are strewn all about in the backyard.

[1180] And there's grass stains on the bottom of her feet, which indicate that she probably tried to get away from him at some point.

[1181] And she had a deep bite mark on her leg.

[1182] and a man who matched Jean's description of Bible John was seen in a disheveled state getting on a bus at 1 .30 in the morning on Grey Street with scratches on his fucking face.

[1183] Oh, way.

[1184] Yeah.

[1185] This is the weird detail that's super creepy.

[1186] All of these three women, these victims of Bible John, all of them had been on their period and all of their bodies were found with either a sanitary napkin or a tampon on or next to their body.

[1187] What the fuck?

[1188] Yeah.

[1189] It's gross anyway.

[1190] It's gross by itself.

[1191] So here's some of the similarities between Peter Tobin and Bible John.

[1192] So Peter's former wives allege that he was driven to violence by the menstrual cycle.

[1193] What?

[1194] Which was something that was a Bible John motive as well.

[1195] Peter Tobin was Roman Catholic with strong religious views he had moved away from Glasgow in 1969 which is when the murder stopped in Glasgow so it basically the timeline completely lines up to fucking Creepo Peter Tobin I think he did it do you?

[1196] I think it's him I get a really strong feeling that he did it too but because the evidence was old and it's, you know, from the late 60s.

[1197] They don't, they can never connect him like with anything like sufficient.

[1198] And Peter Tobin is currently serving his life sentence at the prison in Edinburgh and he is reported to have bragged about killing up to 48 victims in prison.

[1199] Holy shit.

[1200] Let's go get him right now.

[1201] Well, he has had a stroke.

[1202] He had a stroke two years ago.

[1203] So so at least we have that and that's the fucking super fucked up story of Peter Tobin who could also be Bible John Oh Aaron Oh Oh my God So awful That's fucking insane So crazy Goodbye I know tonight I'm just going to be fucking scrolling all the night, reading about it.

[1204] I know.

[1205] And like, yeah.

[1206] Good job.

[1207] Thank you so much.

[1208] That's really nice.

[1209] Hey, hey, all of our homework is done for this tour.

[1210] Me just ripping this dress open.

[1211] Do we have time for a hometown?

[1212] Let's do hometown.

[1213] Yeah, let's make you do some of the work now.

[1214] Yeah, you do the work for us.

[1215] All right, hands down.

[1216] Karen's going to tell you some stuff.

[1217] Here's the rules.

[1218] You've probably heard these before, but if you haven't, so this is the part where we want one of you to come up here and tell us your hometown murder, the thing that got you into true crime or that affected you or that, you know, whatever fascinated you as a kid or whenever you wanted to.

[1219] Now it's fine.

[1220] Oh my gosh.

[1221] Whoa.

[1222] It's hard, isn't it?

[1223] It's hard to be in the spotlight.

[1224] So here's just some recommendations for us.

[1225] We would love it.

[1226] If you have a Glasgow story, we would love to hear it.

[1227] That's the dream.

[1228] We certainly don't want to hear a story if you're from Arizona.

[1229] We just don't give a shit.

[1230] We're fucking here.

[1231] Let's celebrate it.

[1232] It's great when your story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

[1233] And that's not only for tonight, for the hometown, but in life.

[1234] Don't be one of those people that just fucking talks about dumb shit and then walks away.

[1235] You can be as drunk as you want as long as you can follow your own train of thought.

[1236] And that's up to you.

[1237] you're the only person who knows when you get boring and if you get picked just remember everyone else hates you so I would keep it snappy Yeah, that's right Yeah Do you want to try it tonight?

[1238] Do you want me to?

[1239] Do you want to do it this time?

[1240] I think this is your city Or it's You guys, I lived here for three months in 2000 in the year 2000 So I'm like it's you So I really, yeah I'd call this my city Do you want to do it or should we have Should we have Vince do it?

[1241] I'm thinking we have Vince do it now Let's give Vince a little something Since he almost got arrested in Amsterdam this morning For us Oh there he is right here Vince you want to do it?

[1242] All right Vince Are you scared because you're very close to them?

[1243] Yeah do it All right Vince Be discerning Put your hand up if you have a story And you can play by all those rules Our marriage is on the line I'm going to talk to Doug about this.

[1244] Uh -oh.

[1245] Red hair, red hair.

[1246] While she's coming up here, our friend from the Strange and Unusual podcast is here tonight, right?

[1247] Where is she?

[1248] She's way back there.

[1249] Are you serious?

[1250] We would have put you up here.

[1251] Do you guys listen to that?

[1252] It's a fucking great podcast.

[1253] Strange and Unusual.

[1254] Listen to that podcast.

[1255] Oh, yes, here we go.

[1256] I love it.

[1257] Hi.

[1258] Oh, Vince might get bummer.

[1259] dumped at first class, and this is a good one today.

[1260] This is how he earns dinner.

[1261] Hi.

[1262] Okay, you can turn the lights down because she'll fucking freak out if she'll see her face.

[1263] It's really scary.

[1264] How are you?

[1265] Hey, great job.

[1266] You've been done great this whole tour.

[1267] Thank you so of you.

[1268] Hi.

[1269] You're here.

[1270] Come over here.

[1271] Hi, hi, hi.

[1272] Send her up.

[1273] This is Kate, everybody.

[1274] Is that that beer that has iron in it?

[1275] Ironbrough, yeah.

[1276] Is it beer?

[1277] No, it's just an energy.

[1278] No, no. Just a drink that's great for hangovers.

[1279] Yes.

[1280] Where are you from?

[1281] I'm from just a little satellite town called East Coat.

[1282] Mid -Sitie and the house.

[1283] Okay, you're ready to tell us your hometown?

[1284] Yeah.

[1285] You got this.

[1286] So when I was about 14, we had these neighbours move in, and their sons were Dix.

[1287] And...

[1288] Wait, wait, translate.

[1289] Dix!

[1290] Dix!

[1291] Dix!

[1292] Dix!

[1293] Dix!

[1294] Sorry.

[1295] So...

[1296] They're like, they like sailboats?

[1297] We had loads of running and grown up.

[1298] And so they were always in trouble.

[1299] And then in my 20s, I started dating somebody.

[1300] So I was up in Aberdeen up north and I got a phone call for my mum.

[1301] Aberdeen.

[1302] And, um, mom's like, the police came to the drawer.

[1303] They questioned.

[1304] your brother, they want to question you.

[1305] And I was like, okay, it wasn't a me. But your first thing was, wasn't me, Mom.

[1306] Promise you, it wasn't me. But, so it turns out that this oldest boy, which was the same age as me, after, you look in Glasgow, you know about Ranger Celtic.

[1307] What?

[1308] What?

[1309] An old firm match, a Ranger Celtic football match.

[1310] Ranger Celtic match.

[1311] Yeah, it was my favorite.

[1312] I did this to watch it all the time.

[1313] This guy was at the pub and a guy in a ranger's football top bumped into him and they wanted to question me because a guy came up the street I were street with a baseball bat so they were like do you know him have you ever hung about with him and I was like no yeah smart and basically he murdered this guy with the baseball bat because he bumped into him and he had the wrong football jersey he was on Buckfast but violent there's a term in Glasgow that Buckfast makes you fuck fast it's a horrible, horrible drink made by monks like, oh it's horrible, it's disgusting like, what is it like a Yagermeister type of situation?

[1314] It's like this, I've only drank it once and I can't, I was 14 and I was putting somebody's house and I was like, where am I?

[1315] We could have been reading about you tonight.

[1316] So, really quick, what does it taste like when it's really like, if you stick it in the fridge it's really thick and syrupy.

[1317] I can't even describe it.

[1318] It's like, I don't know what you're saying but I'll try it later So anyway This guy Turns out And I still know his mum still talk to her Because she likes my wee doggies And she was the one That when he came home and took the baseball But she knew for some reason When she heard about the murder It was him And she's such a lovely woman She was the one that called the police And it says, my son done this and like she's amazing women that's hard so anyway he got like he got really shitty sentence I think he got like 15 years his name was Andrew Dane or something Dick Andrew Andrew you a wee dick but yeah so yeah that's my home to Kate this is Kate Perfect you're not great nailed it yes yes yes oh You always want the last hometown to be fucking good.

[1319] And that was, that was it.

[1320] They were, they were decks.

[1321] They were decks.

[1322] I'm glad you said something because I wasn't going to say anything.

[1323] You're like, what?

[1324] Gorgeous redwood decks.

[1325] Oh, I heard.

[1326] Hey, you're number one.

[1327] Were you covering your boobs?

[1328] It's too late now.

[1329] We saw them.

[1330] Well, shit, it's.

[1331] That's been our European fucking tour, everybody.

[1332] We cannot believe.

[1333] this is our life.

[1334] It's so insane.

[1335] It's just incredible.

[1336] It's been really like we've been working hard and it's been stressful.

[1337] I'm doing homework and suddenly when you said that, I'm like, holy shit, we've been in Europe with a fucking podcast that we started two years ago in my living room.

[1338] It's incredible.

[1339] We're as weirded out as all the people who are brought here tonight who don't listen to this podcast.

[1340] Yeah.

[1341] But we fucking owe this to you guys so much and we really appreciate it.

[1342] We're so blessed to have this insane thing going on.

[1343] We love you.

[1344] Thank you.

[1345] I wish we could stand here and scream and clap for you guys as much as we get it from you because it really is a dream fucking job that we now get to do full time.

[1346] We get to come out and we get to talk about the thing that we like the best, that I think you guys like the best, and have like a fun, cool conversation about true crime and laugh and we get the benefit of the doubt and everyone's fucking rad and it's just it's such a fucking honor.

[1347] Thank you so much.

[1348] Thank you guys.

[1349] Are you going to cry?

[1350] No?

[1351] I'm going to cry.

[1352] I want to cry.

[1353] It really means something because we know you guys don't like anything.

[1354] So that's very touching.

[1355] Well, stay sexy.